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megan-loves-surveys · 2 months

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Gimme more.

Where were your parents born? My Mum was born in Scotland and my Dad in NZ.

Have you ever used public transportation to get to work? Yep, most of the time. The only I don't is the rare time my boyfriend drops me off.

Who in your family has the coolest job? Not sure tbh.

Have you found your first gray hairs yet? No.

What is your favorite food to put gravy on? Potatoes xD

Do you know anyone from Canada? I know a few people online from there.

What’s your opinion on astrology? It's fun, but I don't take it that seriously.

Do you use TikTok? No.

Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? Good lord no.

Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? I have equal amounts of both as friends.

Are you good at hiding your feelings? Depends.

Can you drive a stick shift? No.

Do you care if people talk badly about you? Not really, but I guess it depends on who it is.

Are you going out of town soon? I wish.

Does anyone hate you? I hope not, but who knows.

Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? No, unless my boyfriend changes his mind and proposes LOL.

Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? Yep.

What’s the best part about school? -

Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? Thousands lol.

Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? I did all the time in intermediate school, by the end of one year I had an entire bag full of them lol.

Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? Yep, he is. It's my boyfriend hehe xD

Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Definitely, I'm close to both of them.

How do you want to die? Old age.

When was your last physical fight? The closest I've been to a fight is slapping some dude at a club who wouldn't stop harassing me once lol.

Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? Yep.

Ever made out in the bathroom? Probably.

Are you scared of spiders? YES.

What is/are/were your best subject(s)? Computers/IT, Legal Studies and English.

Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Probably.

Do you have trust issues? It depends.

Favourite food? Mac & cheese.

Do you believe everything happens for a reason? I hope not, cos then why did I get hit by a car and break my shoulder?

Is cheating ever okay? I cheat on video games, but that's it LOL.

What makes you happy? Lots of stuff.

Is there anyone you would die for? Hmm...

What’s the best news you’ve gotten lately? Not sure, but it's not like things have been going wrong lol.

^And, the worst? Hmm.

Do you like getting dressed up? Sure.

Would you be embarrassed to find out you snored loudly in public? Probably, but I know I don't snore, cos my boyfriend has never said that I do lol.

Are you reading any books at the moment? Yep - Reach For The Stars, it's about British pop groups of the 90s and 00s. It's so good.

When was the last time you had a tick on you? Never?

Have you been to the Grand Canyon? I have! It's breathtaking and totally worth the trip. We went on a tour thing and they included lunch cooked by the Native Americans who reside there, it was so cool. It's a super long drive from Las Vegas (where we were staying) though, we had to get up at 4am lol.

Do you like grapes or raisins better? I love them both!

What is the picture on the desktop on the computer you’re using? It's a photo of The Shield from Super Showdown in 2018 where they're in masks. It's been my desktop pic since then, I haven't changed it in over 5 years, it even followed me between laptops, I got a new one and immediately put it as the pic xD I can't change it at this point, it would be too weird.

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No.

Do you believe in ghosts? Maybe? I need proof.

Would you ever stay overnight in a haunted house? Oh yeah probably.

When was the last time you had an injection? What for? Covid vaccine booster.

Is there anything you cannot wait to be over? Dunno.

What was the last thing you had done at the dentist? Cleaning.

Does your best girlfriend have any talents that you don’t? She can drive, I can't lol.

What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? Blue.

Did your parents ever read stories to you before bed? Yep.

What are you listening to? Scribe - Stand Up (a NZ hip hop artist, this song has the best instrumental)

Do you like hickeys? Haha not really.

Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? No, I'm still in love with him lol.

Do you have any summer plans yet? Our summer just ended.

Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? Oh yep.

Are most of your friends guys or girls? Both about equal cos I have loads of wrestling friends who are mostly male, but I also have lots of female friends from school and that.

Who do you text the most? My boyfriend.

Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? My boyfriend has two grown up sons haha, so I have to say yes. One of them is only 5 years younger than I am! LOL.

Do you miss your last sweetie? Not at all.

Would you rather be anorexic or obese? Neither, thanks.

Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now? No.

What’s your favorite alcoholic beverage? Jim Beam, Malibu or Long Island iced tea.

Do you play any games on your phone? Pokemon Sleep, Pokemon Go and BitLife. I've played both Go and Sleep since day 1.

Have you ever shaved your face? I use tweezers to get any stray hairs lol.

What was the last vaccination you got? Covid.

Do you have a brother? No.

Would you ever have a bird as a pet? No.

Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No.

When was the last time you saw your father? Last night, he picked me up from the Five concert. Usually I'd ask my boyfriend to do it but he was hanging out with his son, so my Dad did it instead.

Any time when you need to search something on the Internet, which search engine do you use? Google.

Do you believe in saving your virginity for marriage or no? LOL, I don't want to get married, so obviously not.

When you open your web browser, what is your home page set to? Why did you select this? I have it set to reopen my tabs from last time.

Have you ever accidentally sent the wrong smiley? Definitely.

Are you more likely to go drive-thru or actually walk in to get fast food? Walk in, cos I don't have a car. Even when I'm with people in a car, we still go in.

How many times have you had a nosebleed? I have no idea.

If you were to make a lot of noise right now, would you wake anyone up? No, it's 9pm lol.

Do you need to have a shower right now? No, I showered this morning.

How many vowels are in your middle name? Two A's.

Do you have all of the vowels in your full name? No, I'm mising U cos I have A, E, I and O.

Are you currently crushing on anyone? Yep.

How do you feel right now? I'm pretty good, cos the headache I had earlier today is mostly gone now.

Do you talk in your sleep that you know of? No.

Have you ever been on a road trip of more than 10 hours? No.

Are you waiting for anything right now? A few things.

How far away is the nearest KFC? About 10 min drive, it's up by the train station.

Do you use reusable bags when you go grocery shopping? Yep.

Have you ever met someone online and then met them in person? Oh yeah, quite a few people.

Do you tend to wake up in a different position you fell asleep in? Yep.

What does your perfume or cologne smell like? I don't wear it.

Is there a bookshelf in your bedroom? I have a bookcase.

Have you ever seen Flight of the Conchords? No, which is funny cos they're Kiwis xD

How many hours away is the next sunset? The sun only set about an hour ago, so about... 23 hours? LOL.

What was the last flavour of ice cream you ate? Chocolate.

Do you want to move out of your current house any time soon? Why or why not? No, I like my house!

Are there a lot of noisy birds around your house? Sometimes haha, cos there's loads of trees.

Have you been to a fancy restaurant in the past year? I'd say Porterhouse Grill is fancy cos it's expensive haha, I was there in January.

How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? I never learnt.

Do you follow recipes carefully or just skim over quickly? I don't cook.

What colour are your favourite cousin’s eyes? Dunno.

Have you ever nearly fallen asleep behind the wheel of a car? I don't drive.

Are you hungry right now? Yes.

Do bugs bother you or not? They definitely bother me.

When was the last time you played a board game? Who did you play with? I go to a games night every 2 weeks with my friend David, a whole bunch of us play board games. So 2 weeks ago cos the next games night is tomorrow xD

Don’t you hate having to call banks and insurance companies? Most of my banking stuff is done online now.

Do you know anyone named Harley? No.

Are there any dints or scratches on your car? -

What’s your favourite place to shop for bras and underwear? Kmart, Warehouse, Bendon etc.

Have you ever thrown someone’s stuff away on purpose? No.

Do you have any cool or cute keychains? I have two on my bag - a Seth Rollins logo one and a little Converse sneaker haha. On my keyring I have a NYC one and one from the Grand Canyon with my name on it.

Is your mailing address different than your residential address? No.

Are there any farms near your house? What animals do they have? I live in the suburbs, so no, no farms.

Do you ever write in cursive? I don't even know how to.

Have you ever had a computer virus before? Most likely. I used to download loads of random shit from Limewire and Kazaa, it could get dodgy.

Are you dependent upon anyone? I try not to be.

Are there any book characters you’d like to portray? Dunno.

Who did you last text? David, we were confirming games night tomorrow.

Is there anything on your bed right now? All my plushies, my handbag (which I meant to put on the floor, I'll do it when I next get up), a book, a magazine and my hairbrush.

When was the last time you went to the grocery store? Saturday.

What way would you like to die when it’s your time? Old age.

What are you most afraid of in the world? Spiders.

Have you ever been caving? No.

Do you do well in math related things? I have that dyscalculia thing, I'm pretty sure. My Maths skills are absolutely horrendous.

What is your favorite fruit? Banana or apple.

If you had to choose, which sibling would you live with? I'm an only child.

Do you have any tattoos? No.

Are you planning on getting any in the near future? Probably not.

When was your last date? A few weeks back.

When did you get Facebook? 2010, I think?

Are any of your family members in jail? No.

What was your first pet’s name? Piglet.

Are there any people at your job who absolutely hates you? I don't think so, our team is small and everyone is chill with each other.

What was the last book you read? Reach For The Stars.

Have you ever read any books in one day? Yes. Used to do that all the time as a kid.

What was the last thing you bought? Some fries from Burger King, lol. Before that, it was a flag banner thing at the Five concert.

What are your plans for tomorrow? My Mum and I are going to Botany to shop and have lunch, then later on I'm going with David to games night. Damn, just realised I won't have time to see my boyfriend tomorrow :/

Is there any jewelry you wear constantly? Yes - my Pandora charm bracelet and my rings.

Are your fingernails painted at the moment? No.

Do you prefer cool, warm or neutral colors? All of them.

Have you ever taken art classes? Only when I was forced to at school.

What’s the most boring movie you’ve ever seen? Dunno.

Do you know how to work a cash register? Not really.

Fact or fiction novels? Fiction.

Have you ever suffered from depression? I don't think so. I've been sad, but not depressed.

Do you think you’re a clingy person? I can be, my boyfriend jokes that I am but I'm really not xD

Have you ever been in a physical fight before? Kinda, I've slapped a few people. One of them was another girl and she slapped me back LOL.

How often would you say you disagree with your parents? We disagree on occasion.

What color shirt did you wear yesterday? I wore a playsuit lol. But today I'm wearing a black Mox shirt.

Do you have a job? Yes.

If so, do you like it? Yes.

Have you ever been called a slut before? Yes lol, both welcomed and unwelcomed.

What’s something you’ve been craving? KFC lol, even though I had it last week.

Have you ever slept with your window open? Used to all the time in the last house I lived in, but I can't do it here cos my room faces the main highway so it's way too noisy.

Can you play violin? No.

What was the last desert you had? A chocolate ice block thing.

Have you ever had a wild animal as a pet? No.

Do you know anyone you talk to on Facebook but won’t talk to in person? Well yes, cos we've never met lol.

What color are your mother’s eyes? Brown.

Do you have a best friend? Yes.

If so, how long have you been best friends? Since 2002, so almost 22 years now.

Do you cry easily? Depends.

Have you ever been into a court room? Yes, I've served on juries 3 times.

How many necklaces would you say you own? None.

Do you plan on being strict towards your children? I don't want kids.

Do you own any tie-dye shirts? No.

What would you say is your favorite day of the week? Probably Saturday, but Friday is good too.

Do you ever wear lipstick? No.

Do you own a pool? Haha no.

Do you have a Tumblr account? Yes lol, I'm using it right now :P

Would you say you’re overweight? No, but I do need to lose a bit of stomach fat.

How many colors are in your hair? Three technically - blue, purple and my regrowth which is dark haha.

Do you flirt with a lot of people? No, only my boyfriend xD

Have you ever been falsely accused of starting drama? Yes.

How old are you? 36.

Do you attend church regularly? No.

Have you ever found a song that describes your whole life? Dunno.

What time did you wake up this morning? I got up at 7am, but I'd been awake since about 5:30 cos I wasn't feeling well.

What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow morning? 8:30 or so.

What kind of car do you drive? No car.

What kind of car would you like to have? Dunno.

Have you ever been to Dairy Queen? No.

If so, what’s your favorite thing to eat from there? -

How old did you turn on your last birthday? 36.

Ever felt like falling apart? No.

Have you ever been in an ambulance? Yes.

Do you tend to worry a lot? Not a lot, but some.

How old were you when you lost your first tooth? Pffft, not sure.

Do you remember your first time on the internet? Not really haha, I have no clue what sites I even went to.

Which website do you email from? Hotmail/Outlook. It's technically Outlook but I have a grandfathered in Hotmail address cos my email was registered in 2001, I got to keep it. I also have a Gmail I use for 'professional' work stuff lol.

#survey #surveys #personal survey #random survey

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spicysoftsweet · 3 years

Text

Chapter 9

Masterlist

tw character death

Mitsuya was used to listening to crying, comfortable even. It was a normal human response after all, and his sisters cried all the time.

But Kumi cried in a very odd way he wasn’t exactly prepared for. Without warning, in the middle of a conversation about her and his plans for high school and beyond, tears had started to run down her cheeks and her speech had paused for a moment, before she continued to speak as though nothing had happened.

She wiped her tears with the back of her hand as though she’d simply sprung a leak, and promptly continued, her voice wobbling a little, but still smiling.

“I-if I at least stay in T-Tokyo after graduation, we can still be friends even if we don’t go to the same high school, right?”

He furrowed his eyebrows.

“Why wouldn’t we stay friends?” He asked, confused.

She grinned widely from across the low table in his home, her eyes shining still.

“Promise you won’t get tired of me.”

Mitsuya looked at Kumi’s obvious forced smile and wondered if Toman was the only thing Baji had dropped. His behavior was stranger than usual definitely, but maybe he was really just showing his true colors. Even if defecting to an opposing gang was unreasonable (even by Baji standards), Baji and Kazutora had always been terribly close, and if Kazutora changed, so could the latter.

“I won’t,” he replied.

He, like Mikey, didn’t want to end up fighting his friend, but he wouldn’t mind landing one solid punch for good measure.

---

“I don’t know if I wanna be an angel this year,” Kumi mused as she walked out of the convenience store down the street with her best friend trailing closely behind her. She unwrapped a lollipop, sighing before popping it into her mouth. “You get to look cute and sexy in the devil costume and I’m probably going to look like a nun,” she pouted.

Kaksi took the bag of discounted pre-Halloween candy from her and fished for a milk chocolate bar, unwrapping it for a bite.

“We can trade if you want.”

Kumi turned to her with surprise, but Kaksi grinned appropriately devilishly.

“But you won’t look scary at all, so how can you be a devil?” With that, she held the bar in her teeth and squished Kumi’s cheeks, causing the latter to frown and swat away at her hands.

“Stop!” She whined.

Kaksi laughed louder, which led to her chocolate falling to the ground which had her gasp in dismay.

“Karma,” Kumi pretend-disguised the remark with a loud cough, wincing as Kaksi gave her a slap on the shoulder, then giggled back. “Don’t worry, you can have mine.”

“As I deserve,” Kaksi said, then glanced at her watch. “We should head there quickly, the store will close soon.”

“Mm.”

The girls managed to find their way to the corner shop and picked out their outfits, taking pictures together as they tried their accessories, a white halo for Kumi and a pair of red devil horns for Kaksi.

“You didn’t want to trade?” Kaksi asked, looking through their pics on her flip phone as they walked home, shopping bags in hand. “We can still swap if you want.”

Kumi shook her head.

“My parents are already being too lenient by letting me go out for the parade tomorrow in the first place, so putting on leather on top of that will probably be pushing it,” she said, with a dramatic sigh.

Kaksi laughed.

“You know, for a moment I was wondering if you’d change being around gang members for so long, but it seems like you’re still a goody two-shoes after all.”

Kumi smiled in response but her smile was a little less bright this time, and Kaksi frowned. She’d almost gotten over the sting of Kazutora essentially breaking things off with her but she had to remember that Kumi’s situation was still fresh in her heart.

An idea suddenly popped into her head, and she grabbed Kumi’s hand suddenly, turning around to face her.

Kumi’s eyes widened as Kaksi’s beamed.

“Hey, we’re gonna be friends forever, right? A pair, you and me, right?’.

Kumi nodded slowly in agreement, not exactly sure where Kaksi was getting at. Of course, she was her best friend.

“So… I think we should make a pact,” she proposed.

“What kind of pact?”

The sun was starting to set, pinker than usual, and with the wind picking up in that late October evening, Kumi had the feeling that whatever Kaksi was about to say next would be terribly poignant. She found herself holding her breath, as Kaksi continued.

“When we’re old maids later on in life, we should just buy a huge house in the woods and live together. We can get dogs and cats and make a garden where we grow our own food and not worry about any mean losers that just fight all the time. We’ll buy lots of books and play music all day and you can do all the cooking because I hate cooking but it’ll be amazing. What do you think?”

Kumi’s smile was genuine this time. She clasped her other hand over Kaksi’s warm ones.

“It sounds amazing.”

Maybe Kaksi was the only person she really needed after all, Kumi thought.

---

Even if Kumi was trying to focus on literally anything else aside from Baji, there was a small part of her that still worried about the tension brewing between the Tokyo Manji gang and Valhalla, and the thought of another brawl landing him or even Mitsuya in the hospital seemed to haunt her. It didn’t help that Mitsuya had told her that there would be ‘Toman business’ on the afternoon of Halloween and so he’d have to pass on going to the parade with her and Kaksi. She had insisted that they could all go, and he’d told her that there was something big, without really giving her additional details.

Big was not good when it came to gangs.

All day Kumi dwelled on it until she felt that she had to say something by the time lunchtime rolled around, starting with a long sigh to feign nonchalance.

“So I know we’re not supposed to discuss they-who-must-not-be-named anymore,” she started, stopping abruptly when Kaksi raised her eyebrow at her, “but I feel like something bad’s gonna happen.”

“Like what?” Kaksi asked, barely looking up from her plate.

Kumi frowned.

“I don’t know, Mitsuya wouldn’t really tell me but supposedly they’re preparing for something today and with all that’s going on it seems like it might be a bigger deal this time,” she continued. At this point, Kaksi’s curiosity must have been piqued because she finally looked at her then propped her face up by her elbow on the table.

A slight embarrassment ran over Kumi when she considered how obvious it was that she was still worried about Baji despite the fact that he’d been awful to her, while her friend seemed to take everything in stride.

While Kaksi seemed to be thinking, Kumi decided instead to content herself with spoonfuls of rice.

“Maybe I am nosy,” she laughed out loud for a moment once a couple minutes passed. She considered the idea of showing up again, in front of Baji who probably only found her annoying by now, and she considered that the idea of being chased away a second time was too much to bear. Maybe if she didn’t annoy him, she could pretend that they hadn’t really broken up, just drifted apart. That would work, wouldn’t it?

“Well I’m curious now,” Kaksi said, rising suddenly.

Kumi remembered this exact scenario from just a couple days ago and immediately regretted saying anything.

“Actually maybe this time we shouldn’t-” she began.

“It’s just information. We don’t have to do anything about it,” Kaksi insisted. Kumi agreed.

“Let’s try to ask someone after school.”

...

The school seemed to empty out before either girl could corner a single person. It was odd really, and when they reunited from their different classes, both grimaced as they realized they had absolutely no intel for each other.

Despite the nagging feeling in the back of her mind, Kumi went home to prepare for the evening parade after separating from Kaksi at her house. Walking the rest of the way, she contemplated further the idea of getting over her feelings completely, reanalyzing nearly all of their interactions over the past couple of years to determine what she had missed. This only made her sadder, and by the time she was nearly at her door, she was holding back sniffles.

She hated the fact that she cried so easily.

Not paying attention to where she was going, she found herself running into another boy her age, surprised when she realized it was Yamagishi of all people, one of Takemitchi’s friends that she’d seen a couple times but not really interacted with.

“Oh my gosh, sorry!”

Yamagishi looked at her in surprise.

“Kumi-chan, what are you doing here?”

She tilted her head, surprised by the question, pointing to her house a few paces away.

“I live here?”

Yamagishi’s face turned a deep shade of red, and he laughed nervously.

“Ah, yes… well, it was nice to run into you,” he said, politely, dashing in the opposite direction.

Kumi thought about the weird encounter and considered shrugging her shoulders and going on her way, but then she stopped in her tracks, and ran back to catch up to him.

“Hey!”

Yamagishi stopped, surprised and looked at her in surprise. Kumi faltered a little, phrasing the question, then blurted out, “you know a lot about gang stuff, right?”

Yamagishi scratched his head sheepishly but was clearly pleased. “Yeah, of course. I can literally tell you anything!”

Kumi nodded. “Have you heard about anything big happening tonight? With Tokyo Manji or…?” She didn’t outright say Valhalla, but it was the more pressing question for her.

Yamagishi furrowed his brow.

“Toman’s going to have a huge fight today, if it hasn’t already started…”

Kumi held her breath.

“Where?”

“There’s an old junkyard. I considered going just to see, just because I know it would be crazy, but my parents wanted me home unless I’d get in trouble. They’re going against Valhalla, everyone in the delinquent community knows about it.”

Her heart thumped, and she immediately went ahead to send a text to Kaksi to meet up with her immediately.

“Please tell me where it is.”

---

By the time the girls made it (with multiple wrong turns) to the junkyard, where there were even more people than the Valhalla hideout those couple days before, the fight was more than half over.

At least in sheer numbers,the crowd had already started to thin from Valhalla’s 300, including Baji, Kazutora, and the tall, lanky and obnoxious-sounding boy the girls would later know to be Hanma, and Toman’s 150, including Mikey, the source of all their problems, Kisaki and the rest of the gang they knew well. There were enough bruises and injuries and unconscious boys to go around, and while Kumi and Kaksi froze in space, their eyes quickly scanned the crowd for those that they cared about the most.

The first thing Kumi saw in the distance upon arrival - what they both saw - was the knife in Baji’s hands.

A knife that was raised to the heavens, loud words that sounded like nonsense to her tumbling out of his mouth, and a bold smile on his face.

What is he-

Before Kumi could even process the situation further, or even take account of the other bodies in the junkyard, Baji plunged that very knife straight into his abdomen.

And her heart stopped.

“Kei!”

Maybe his eyes widened for a moment as he searched for her voice, and he did finally see her running towards him, as he collapsed immediately into Chifuyu’s arms who were closer, stronger and faster.

He hadn’t factored this into his move.

In fact he’d thought about what he was doing but he hadn’t really thought at all, had he? Just doing whatever it took to save Kazutora.

Making his death matter.

Bambi, I…

“Kei!” Kumi screamed again, crying this time as she ran, until she found herself intercepted by Mitsuya who saw her run into the fray in time and held her back.

“Let me go!” She shrieked.

Mitsuya said nothing, but held on to her with all his strength, arms tightening as he turned her away, as her screams mixed with Chifuyu’s.

“Someone call an ambulance! Someone stop the bleeding! Please let me,” she sputtered and choked for a moment, losing the ability to breathe. “Let me help him!”

There was nothing she could do. Mitsuya’s grip was like iron and his hold felt like betrayal, and as she watched Baji, turned away from her while he said his final words, her stomach writhed in despair.

Her voice seemed to die in her throat.

“P-please let me go,” she continued helplessly, knowing that Mitsuya wouldn’t give in even for a second, and once she had lost the strength to scream hysterically any longer and her legs grew unsteady, he allowed her to fall to her knees and double over in sobs.

This was cruel, Mitsuya thought, but he could see that Kazutora and Mikey’s standoff was escalating and she couldn’t be in the middle.

Kaksi covered her mouth as she took in Baji’s corpse in turn and it seemed as though time had gone to a stand still until she heard the sickening crunch of Mikey’s knuckles connecting with Kazutora’s jaw.

“I’ll kill you!”

The words came out of Mikey’s mouth, repeated like a mantra and with them, his punches were heavy and relentless; Kaksi could sense the immediate intent to kill.

She couldn’t pretend she didn’t understand why. Kumi was curled into a ball beside her and within Mitsuya’s reach, still sobbing inconsolably while Chifuyu’s eyes clearly went in and out of focus, staring at his friend’s body. She could see the subtle pain behind Mikey’s voidless eyes.

Mikey was absolutely going to kill him.

Her feet moved on their own, faster than she had ever done before, dodging the arms that attempted to stop her. Kaksi could feel her heart racing and her stomach turning at the sight of her ex-boyfriend’s blood being splashed onto the floor. She couldn’t understand why no one was stopping them.

Baji…

Baji had just injured himself and this fight needed to end. So she didn’t think twice, loudly screaming at them to stop before getting in between Kazutora and Toman’s leader. She faced Mikey while her ex-boyfriend was shielded by her back, even though she was slightly smaller than him and much weaker.

The look in Mikey’s eyes was one she had never seen before. She shivered, realizing in what position she had just put herself in. But Kaksi couldn’t turn back now. The fury in his eyes spoke for him and she was unsure about what would happen to her at that moment. Takemichi stood behind while Chifuyu was still focused on Baji’s cold body in his arms. He watched the scene unfold, holding his breath but thankful that the girl had been quick to act.

“Get out of my way,” Mikey told her in an icy voice.

“Mikey, ple-”

Kaksi’s eyes widened as she felt Mikey’s strong hold on her. She let out a whimper as she felt herself pushed to the side, violently falling onto the ground. Everyone surrounding them watched in shock as Mikey aimed for Kazutora again. Takemichi took a step forward but to his relief, Kaksi was standing up again.

The pain from her fall was still present but she didn’t hesitate to run over to Mikey again, this time wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him back as hard as she could. He hit her once with his elbow and she cried out, unsure about being able to take another hit. Unfortunately, Kaksi only managed to put him off balance slightly despite being taller than Mikey and giving it all her strength.

The second hit she received had her fall back down, her hands as well as her knees covered in blood and dirt. That hurt, her breathing was heavier this time and she took a moment before standing up again. But the sight of Kazutora’s bloodied face and the sound of Mikey’s knuckles meeting bones was too much.

“Stop!” she screamed again, even louder than the first time, throwing her body in between the two boys again.

The sound of Draken’s voice calling out the girl’s name could be heard as his eyes followed Mikey’s fist but it was too late. Takemichi cried out watching her take a direct hit for Kazutora. Kaksi wanted to scream, the blunt force stronger than anything she had ever felt before but the sounds were caught in her throat as she found herself unable to breathe. She stumbled backwards. Mikey, stunned by the sight of her falling from his blow instead of Kazutora, stayed immobile.

What have I done?

Takemichi caught the girl in his arms, preventing her from hitting the ground, clearly unable to stand anymore. Horror took over Kazutora instantly as he watched her limp body, the pain probably too much for her to have withstood. He stepped forward, fury taking over him again at the sight of his unconscious darling.

Mikey didn’t move, eyes glued to her as Takemichi slapped her face gently in an attempt to wake her up. He didn’t mean to hurt her, he was aiming at Kazutora. He would never ever hit Kaksi, he thought as guilt washed over him. He would never hit a girl, and especially not this girl, his friend, or maybe more.

“You fucking asshole!” Kazutora yelled his fist connecting with Mikey’s jaw for the first time after a while.

The pain brought Toman’s leader back to his senses and it was instinctively that he blocked Kazutora’s next move. Takemichi watched once again, anger taking over him this time. They couldn’t be serious. He screamed out of frustration for Kaksi who couldn’t, Kumi who was still held back by Mitsuya and everyone surrounding them.

“What the fuck do you think Baji died for and Kaksi took that punch for?”

Kazutora’s eyes filled with tears as he looked over to his best friend’s corpse and his ex-girlfriend’s unconscious form. Mikey was about to argue but Takemichi cut him off, getting impatient now.

“He died for Toman! He died for you two, god damn it!”

Takemichi’s tears fell onto Kaksi as he gently moved her body, taking off his jacket hurriedly to put it under her head before walking over to the two boys fighting. But as the piece of clothing was folded, the charm Takemichi had kept with him fell, catching Mikey’s attention.

“Kazutora didn’t kill him!” he continued. “He killed himself because he didn’t want Kazutora to feel responsible! Because he wanted you to forgive Kazutora!”

Takemichi stopped for a moment, the sobs racking his body making it hard for him to speak.

“Everything Baji did,” he said. “He did it because he loved you guys! Why can’t you understand this?”

Kazutora found himself unable to move, too many conflicting emotions taking over him while Mikey kneeled, picking up the charm that was sent flying. He examined it carefully before asking Takemichi where he had found it. Then Mikey’s eyes widened in shock as the founding members of Toman realized who it belonged to and what it represented. He couldn’t help the tears blurring his vision at the realisation of what they had just lost and at what cost exactly. For a moment Mikey reminisced, brought back to Toman’s founding day.

“I didn’t create Toman,” he explained. “Baji did.”

Kumi, who had thought she didn’t have any more tears to cry, felt a new wave wash over her as her shattered heart ached harder. The emptiness she felt, piercing through everyone who had known Baji.

If one of us gets hurt, we’ll all protect them. I want a gang that’s all for one, and one for all.

They could all picture Baji saying those words, whether they had been there or not to witness it two years ago and at that moment everyone found that they couldn’t muffle the sounds of their pain anymore.

There was a pause that hung heavy, impregnated with tears, but where they all remained unmoving, as they considered everything that had been said.

Kumi stirred finally, wiping her tears, and turned to look at Mitsuya. He eyed her carefully, his own eyes no longer dry, and in a voice that sounded too pained to be speaking, she begged for a chance to move.

“It’s safe now, right? I’m not interfering anymore.”

Without waiting for an answer, she rose and walked over slowly to where Chifuyu still held her first crush, love, whatever she would call it. Chifuyu didn’t look up as she knelt down across from him and placed her head against Baji’s chest, her heart sinking as she couldn’t hear a heartbeat. Throat drying up, she might have deluded herself into imagining something, anything where there should be a sound, so instead she lifted her head quickly, and gently slapped him on the face.

“Wake up,” she whispered. She tapped his face again with her open palm, again trying to ignore how unnaturally cold his cheek was on contact.

She took a deep breath again, then thumped his chest again, a little harder this time. She knew very well that this was futile, and if anything she was upsetting Chifuyu even more, who had started to shake, but she was going to do this. She had to do this.

“Wake up, the fight is over and you’ll be fine. Someone called an ambulance and you need to get checked, but it’ll be okay.” She paused, and bit her lower lip.

She reached over to untie his ponytail, letting the hair tie sit on her wrist. As luck would have it, this one she recognized; he had borrowed it from her. She swallowed hard, as she ran a hand through his hair.

“Kumi, he’s-” Chifuyu started then stopped once she cut him off sharply.

“I know.”

Despite this, she still shook him.

“I forgive you for being mean, okay? We still have dates and movies to go to,” she leaned in closer to whisper in his ear, as though that was the reason why he wasn’t responding to her, not the fact that he was no longer breathing.

“I’ll learn how to make that yakisoba you like. Your mom promised to teach me before, remember? It won’t be as good but you have to promise to eat everything.”

“Kumi,” Chifuyu repeatedly her name softly, and she swallowed a sob but kept talking to the dead boy before her.

“I never gave you those chocolates I owe you, remember? You can’t die before I do that.”

As she said this, the tears she’d thought had run out just earlier seemed to replenish and she buried her face into his jacket and finally let herself weep fully, her arms around him.

“You’re so fucking mean, Baji Keisuke.”

#baji x oc #kazutora x oc #tokyorev #off target effects #collab fic #mae.writing #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x oc #tokyo revengers imagine #tokyo revengers #longfic

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myhauntedsalem · 3 years

Text

19 Parents Share What Their Kid Remembered About Their ‘Last’ Life

1. He showed us his grave

When my brother was about 2 or 3 he told us his name used to be Austin. One day we were picnicking right along side a cemetery, when my brother took off running towards the gravestones, my dad and I followed him and found him touching a large headstone that simply read “Here Lies Austin” no name, no date. My brother did not learn to read until he was 6 and this headstone wasn’t even right out visible from where we were, yet he ran right to it

2. We don’t watch firefighter things

my son told me a few months ago he “used to be a firefighter, and we got called to a fire. There wasn’t any family inside the house, so we just put the fire out. Then the fire truck caught on fire and I died”. A few nights later, he elaborated he was taken to a hospital, where he died. We don’t watch firefighter things.

3. Her “other” mother’s name was Sally

I was talking to my four year old when she began to freak me out. She was telling me a story about her “other mother” and that she “died a long time ago on a Thursday.” I tried to brush it off, you know, whatever, shes a kid, they have wild imaginations… but then she started to go further into detail about the death of her “other mother,” whose name was apparently Sally. She has never met anyone named Sally, and I can’t recall any shows on TV she watches where “Sally” is a character. She told me that she was playing with her father’s gun that she found and accidentally shot and killed Sally while she was walking upstairs. It’s pretty weird. There are no guns in this house, I haven’t even really told her what guns are all about and how they can hurt or kill someone, shes only four! I think I am beginning to understand now why when I try to tell her when someone dies, they go away forever, she tells me that, that is not true. “We come back, mommy!” I’m only 23, I had my daughter very young and despite not being prepared, I don’t think I could have ever prepared for a conversation like that!

4. “When she lived before she was born”

My daughter did the same thing at the same age. She told me about her life “when she lived before she was born” and described herself as a woman with long hair who lived in an apartment with a long flight of stairs outside of it. She drove a VW Bug and wore long skirts. She then told me that she fell down the stairs and died. Her stories were startlingly vivid and always consistent. Quite spooky. She is now 19 and doesnt remember it. My advice would be write down everything your daughter tells you on the subject. Everything! Record her stories if you can.

5. Roanoke?

I would tell my older sister about my death. I told her my husband was captured and fire was everywhere. I took my young son and ran. I told her my son couldn’t run fast enough. I knew we would get killed and I had my husbands knife on me, I wanted to leave a clue. I wrote in capitals “CROATOAN” I told her we were caught and how my son was killed before I was killed. I told her how I was stabbed in the stomach with a knife. Then, I went about playing with dolls. I can still picture the scene and my son to this day.

6. “She used to come visit me”

my son says he remember his great grandmother (my grandmother) and can describe her in perfect detail (how she looks, how she acted, even what brand of cigarettes she smoked) , although she died 11 days before he was born. He says that she used to come visit him in his dreams.

7. Conchon

Apparently beginning around the time my friend could form sentences until he was little more than 2, he would go on and on about how he was a Native American named Conchon and that after his wife and son got sick and died, he moved to a mountain to live by himself with his horse. He died of a broken neck when he fell into a ravine.

8. “My real mom and dad were killed when the bad men came.”

when I was 2 or 3 I was talking to my grandmother and told her that my mom and dad weren’t my real mom and dad. My grandmother, knowing this wasn’t true, said they were. I calmly explained that no, my real mom and dad were killed when the bad men came. I had lived because my mom hid me behind a rock. I then went on to describe white men with guns and us “dark” people with long hair. When I was done, I went back to eating my ice cream.

9. Jesus

My cousin, approximately 3 years old and riding in the car with my mum and dad, pointed out a random house that they went past and declared “I died there”.

10. Included because, WHAT?

I did something sort of similar I guess. When I was about 3 my mum and I were driving over a bridge on which there’d recently been a major accident that resulted in a car bursting into flames and the driver dying. Anyway, I asked my mum who the man in the front seat was and when she told me to describe him I said, “Well he’s on fire and he keeps looking back at me.”

11. I drowned

My mother told me about a story I told her when I was 2 or 3. I told her she was the best mommy I ever had, to which she replied, “I’m the only mommy you’ve ever had.” “nu-uh, I had another mommy.” I said that my older sister and I went out to a pond in the woods behind my house. Around the pond, all of the trees were the same type: skinny with white paper-like bark. (I had never seen a poplar tree before in this life.) We put some logs together to make a raft, and put it into the water to play boat captain and climbed aboard. The raft fell apart, and I didn’t know how to swim. I tried to grab a log, but my hand slipped off. I could see my sister freaking out from underwater. I drowned.

12. My war memories

one of 6 hopping out of a helicopter into a field, it’s hot as shit, humid, daytime, two house/buildings smoking and heavily burning straight in front of me (to the side of the chopper), and there’s firing from the woods and field to my right. It’s chaotic a noisy, lots of firing and helicopters, my guys are firing back crouched next to the back building, one guy runs out of the other building with a kid he pushes forward and yells at to run, the kid gets shot from out of nowhere, and drops. I see a few of my guys advancing from another chopper behind me duck down in the grass as their chopper leaves, I crouch in tall grass about 10 feet from my chopper, fire my rifle twice from just above the grass line, and my chopper starts to take off, and is taking fire. I get up to move forward, panicky, and am shot dead – I feel a hard thunk, see part my chest explode, fall forward go black, and zoom out above my body. I also drew this later (still have pics, mom saved them). To me, it’s clear as day, still. Mom said some of my first chatter was about “heavy fire” “zip em boys” (don’t know what that means) and I would ask “Where are the hueys?” I was born in the early 70s, and my family was NOT military (very anti, actually). I err on the side of thinking it’s media (news footage?) I absorbed at some point from the Viet Nam war, but I also wonder if it’s not a past-life dream.

13. “That’s why I don’t like water now”

When my kid was 4, we were watching a docu on the Titanic. The scene was a picture of the schematics of the boiler room and the camera panned from left to right over the plans. He pointed at the tv and said, “That’s wrong. The boilers were on the Other side. And I was right here.” And he pointed to a small space in the boiler room. “That’s where I was. And that’s why I don’t like water now.”

14. My family’s farm, burning

When I was younger I would have dreams of living in colonial american. I remember bits very vividly and only when I was older did I realize what they were about and how accurate they were. Most of the dreams consisted of me being in my late teen years and centered around my family’s farm being set on fire during the night. I never dreamed past that night, nothing about the aftermath of the fire, and I haven’t had one in years.

15. “Nobody scroofs me there”

Getting my two and a half year old daughter out of the bath one night, my wife and I were briefing her on how important it was she kept her privates clean. She casually replied “Oh, nobody ‘scroofs’ me there. They tried one night. They kicked the door in and tried but I fought back. I died and now I’m here.” She said this like it was nothing. My wife and I were catatonic.

16. Nope

“Before I was born here, I had a sister, right? Her and my other Mom are so old now. They were ok when the car was on fire, but I sure wasn’t!”

17. “Their screams are keeping me up”

I was in my room on the computer at about 11, which is late for my sister to be awake even now. I was thinking about bed, but then my sister knocks on the door. She was maybe 10 at the time, so not so young that she doesn’t know when she’s dreaming. She wanted to sleep in my room because she was sad and scared. I asked her why, and she said, “I watched your sons burn up in the fire. Their screams are keeping me up.”

18. Role reversal

My three year old said, “Remember when I was the grown-up and you were the little boy?” to his Dad.

19. When he was a grown up

My father used to hate policemen when he was a kid, he used to tell my grandmother that they came to his house and shot him when he was a grown up.

19 Parents Share What Their Kid Remembered About Their ‘Last’ Life paranormal ghost and hauntings

148 notes

May 26th, 2019

SEE MORE POSTS LIKE THIS ON TUMBLR

#paranormal #ghost and hauntings

MORE YOU MIGHT LIKE

19 Parents Share What Their Kid Remembered About Their ‘Last’ Life1. He showed us his grave

When my brother was about 2 or 3 he told us his name used to be Austin. One day we were picnicking right along side a cemetery, when my brother took off...

19 Parents Share What Their Kid Remembered About Their ‘Last’ Life

1. He showed us his grave

2. We don’t watch firefighter things

3. Her “other” mother’s name was Sally

4. “When she lived before she was born”

5. Roanoke?

6. “She used to come visit me”

7. Conchon

8. “My real mom and dad were killed when the bad men came.”

9. Jesus

My cousin, approximately 3 years old and riding in the car with my mum and dad, pointed out a random house that they went past and declared “I died there”.

10. Included because, WHAT?

11. I drowned

12. My war memories

13. “That’s why I don’t like water now”

14. My family’s farm, burning

15. “Nobody scroofs me there”

16. Nope

“Before I was born here, I had a sister, right? Her and my other Mom are so old now. They were ok when the car was on fire, but I sure wasn’t!”

17. “Their screams are keeping me up”

18. Role reversal

My three year old said, “Remember when I was the grown-up and you were the little boy?” to his Dad.

19. When he was a grown up

My father used to hate policemen when he was a kid, he used to tell my grandmother that they came to his house and shot him when he was a grown up.

#19 Parents Share What Their Kid Remembered About Their ‘Last’ Life #paranormal #ghost and spirits #ghost and hauntings #haunted salem #ghoststories

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vesperstalksclones · 4 years

Text

Ramblings of a Bipolar Geek girl.

And a picture of this sexy mother fucker who is haunting my shit RN and is viscerally intertwined with all my hot messy-ness. And why not?

Really this is just brain droppings. I'm ramping up in to what will likely be a doozy of an episode, so I needed a dumping ground and Tumblr seemed like the place.

I own that diagnosis, Bipolar, and not like in a fad way. I mean chemically messed up. My PsychNP who tends my medicine chuckles and pats me on the head when we talk. She loves my stories and our visits are usually more like coffee with a favorite aunt. Not a call for help or anything. I'm good. I think if you've started reading, then you'll find some things to laugh at.

Eh... OK. A&P/Psychiatry lesson. A lot of people talk about Bipolar disorder, but I've found the average person knows very little about psychological disorders beyond "crazy". Specifically, I am medicated for Bipolar II. Bipolar I and II both suffer from the hellish depression that comes in the cycle, but bipolar I is characterized by periods of mania that can get quite uncontrollable and self destructive. Like the things you hear about people running up tens of thousands of $$ on credit cards or selling their house on a whim. Bipolar II still has the manuc episodes, but not so severe. Its a wild ride, but mostly fun and exhilarating. But, well, thats mania. Like, I go through bouts of insomnia, obsessive behavior, blasts of energy; it feels like your personality is trying to shatter your skin and fly off in every direction at once.

The insomnia gets old, and the jitteryness can be obnoxious at times, but the obsessions are downright funny. In the past, oh years ago, I remember a year (I go in nice neat 3 month cycles) where I had a food obsession with fruit roll-ups (an American snack common in kids lunch pails if you're not familiar). So, my last episode was late May - June. I had a new opsession and or new symptom. I thought it was just this mysterious hormonal change that I hear talked about on sitcoms and movies and etc where a middle aged woman suddenly becomes a cougar. Well.... suddenly my mania comes with ADVANCED HORNY. Now, I'm a geek, always have been. And suddenly, this new manic horny thing (and my Puss Puss) said "Look! Fictional characters! And they have genitalia! Imma gonna latch on to this hard!" Somehow the worst of the obsession landed on my beloved clone boys.... and well I started my Tumblr account and poured in smut - fics, pics, follows, etc. After a few weeks, things calmed down. And I thought... well that was refreshing, sorry its over. NOW - three-ish months on.. its BACK. Next manic cycle and skin melting horny have me their grip! Is this shit here to stay?

Ok so... some of y'all write about this or that character going through a heat cycle or a rut... well... this bitch knows what that feels like. I can barely function. I am humming like a fucking tuning fork. I've changed my drawers twice today (sorry, gross but lol) and any conscious thought involves some depraved behavior involving specific handsome brown men. AND THE DREAMS I HAD LAST NIGHT! My stars and garters, I couldn't properly look Nitro in the eye this morning when he got up for work! (No worries, he and I have a happy comfortable relationship and we can talk openly about sex and people we admire and etc. That and IDK what my sexual orientation is so we can appreciate boobs together happily, but this can be another entertaining blog post)

LIke srsly, Temuera Morrisson, Sam Witwer, Dee Bradley Baker, Liam Neeson, and Ewan McGregor should consider getting ready for retraining orders against me. The money I would pay just to have these guys talk at me.. well... might rival that shit I said about Bipolar I mania 🤣.

All things considered... mania is exhausting. Your brain is on constant fast forward and I feel like there is a veil between me and the world. Im sure I'll do or say some stupid things that might embarass me later on, but right now everything seems fair game, kind of like being drunk or something. IDK. So that being said... time to sip some coffee, draw some clone dick,... and maybe write down some of those dreams from last night. Seems a shame not to share! 😁🥰

Love you babies! ✌

#vesperstalksclones #bipolar ramblings #psycho but it's okay #mentalheathawareness #no shame in my game #drinks silly dumb bitch juice

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tomiyeee · 4 years

Note

For the character thing: Rhys

(was gonna do tales rhys since i don’t count him and bl3 rhys as the same person, but i already did him a while ago so i figured it’d be more boring to do it again) *rubs hands together* oh boy do i got some opinions

Fav thing about them: he’s cute, his dialogue is funny, his plotline with jack was interesting, his design is *chef hand kiss* (LOVIN’ those bright colors + distinct shapes/features), just overall extrEMELY good. oh also his sass.

Least fav thing: borderlands 3 rhys is not the same character as tales rhys. i was willing to forgive the mustache (which is honestly in character imo) and the horrible outfit design (which is completely OUT of character but moving on), until they had him voiced by someone that wasn’t troy baker. i was willing to forgive them for not addressing the vault of the traveler (bc honestly how do u address that in a way that wouldn’t be disappointing), until they seemingly disregarded everything that happened in tales and pre-sequel. i was willing to forgive the cringey ooc dialogue and chalk it up to the fact that gearbox just can’t hold up to telltale in terms of humor/writing, until they completely fucked up all my other faves for no reason. i honestly wanted to like bl3 but the more i thought about it the more it pissed me off, so i think i’m just gonna ignore it + it’s characterization of my faves for the most part. also like what the fuck is up with him looking like 50 in bl3? lilith, maya, and all the other girls still look exactly the same as they did in previous games, why the hell are they not allowed to age but rhys ages so much that he doesn’t even feel like the same character? why does gearbox just hate twinks so much??

Fav Line: ??? (the skin pizza scene was pretty great but that was mostly cuz of jack)

brOTP: vaughn

OTP: rhack!!!! him/fiona

nOTP: sasha, katagawa, timothy, zero..actually anything besides rhack/rhyiona. maybe romantic vaughn but i’ll make exceptions if the art is cute

Random headcanon: ???

Unpopular opinion: i don’t really like when people..i guess “woobify” him too much? like for sure he can’t fight, he’s literally just an office worker. he constantly forgets that he has a metal frickin arm and instead tries to punch with his normal hand and ends up hurting himself. but he’s not innocent, especially if he started out working at hyperion with handsome jack as a role model. he may not have experience with actual real life combat, but he has/had no problem hurting others (albeit indirectly) to get ahead (see: vaughn’s “we had to do a lot of awful stuff to get you to this point...every night it haunts my dreams” line). he’s no handsome jack sure, but he’s also not far above most other borderlands characters either in terms of morals, ruthlessness, or dickishness. imo.

Song I associate: “paper love” by allie x (for spicy kismesis rhack), “close your eyes” by silver trees (for cute fluffy rhack), “dancing with your ghost” by sasha sloan (for sad, angsty rhack)

Fav Pic: ahh i found it!! this one!! it got taken off tumblr (it is n/s////f//w) but there’s a deviantart link. it’s by one of my favorite borderlands artists and!!! the colors!!! and the lighting!!!! and the poses and expressions!!! the textures and details!!! the atmosphere!!!!! it’s all so good!!!!!!!

#long post #ask #anon #ask game

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timelock97 · 5 years

Text

Love Without A Name

Prologue: One Date Too Many

Word Count: 1991

Masterlist

Warnings: Language, sexual references

A/N: Tom does not PHYSICALLY show up for a few chapters, he is in here, just not how you think at first. ENJOY!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I shift my bag back into the crook of my arm, mail pressed against my chest with my right hand while I flip my keys around my fingers of my left. An 'ah-ha' falls past my lips as the apartment key lands between my thumb and index finger, shoving it into the lock and turning. The door bangs against the wall as I walk in, a sheepish smile falling across my lips as I mumble a silent 'sorry' for no one but myself. I use the heel of my shoe to grip the bottom of the door, shutting it behind me on my way to the too small kitchen to dump the contents of my arms onto the counter. "Fuck!" my hand flies from my chest, mail scattering to the floor in the process of me rescuing my keys before they fall too far into the nearby sink and into the garbage disposal. I let out a sigh of relief before muttering, "Why are you such a mess, (Y/N)?"

The sound of a small meow and bell causes a smile to appear on my face. Turning, I spy my small, calico cat beelining for my legs, coiling between them and rubbing against my scrub clad calves. "Hey there, Phoebe, how's my baby?" I coo as I move away from the counter and finish shrugging off my winter coat and scarf that were damp from the early winter weather. I listen as she purrs loudly around my ankles before I turn to lean down and pick up the scattered mail on the floor, only to giggle when the calico nuzzles my hand with her head, begging for attention.

Setting the mail back on the counter, I reach back inside my bag that is haphazardly leaning on the counter I rummage inside until my fingers brush against my phone. A message illuminates the screen, a confirmation text for my date with my latest Tinder match. "Maybe this'll be the one, huh Phoebes?" I turn my head and look at the cat at my feet before padding down the hall and typing out a quick response to "Luke" telling him I couldn't wait. Honestly though, first dates were the absolute worst when you barely know the person.

The plum dress hugged my body perfectly, showing off my natural curves. I stood outside the usual bar waiting for my date with Tinder open on my phone in one hand while my other hand fiddled with the buttons on my black wool coat. Glancing at my phone for the umpteenth time, I notice that the time he and I had agreed on had ticked past about a half hour ago, and my nose was starting to go numb from standing outside in the cold.

With a huff, I typed a quick message that I would be waiting inside at the bar for him before I waltzed in through the door and to my usual place.

"Another date, (Y/N)?" The bartender, Sam, asks as she pours a drink for a small group of people at the opposite end of the bar.

"Not if he doesn't show up." I state as I shrug off my coat and place it on the back of my chair before sitting down. Jared, the other bartender hands me a glass of Sprite, knowing I wouldn't drink until I had confirmation that I had been stood up.

Another five minutes pass before someone taps my shoulder, "(Y/N)?".

"Luke?" I turn and smile at a man with a full, but trimmed, black beard and bright blue eyes.

"I am so sorry I'm late, traffic." He states, moving to sit beside me after shrugging of his coat.

"I figured, it's fine." I notice Sam walk back down and smile at us, "Let's get a drink then order, that okay?" I tilt my head to the side, hair falling from behind my shoulder as I flash a small smile at him.

He nods, eyes crinkling in the corners, "Sounds perfect."

As the conversation continues, I can tell that this date would end one of two ways: he would rather be friends, especially when being only friends usually lead to never speaking again, or he would want to take this date back to his place. Neither were what I was looking for, but from the way he had been trying to place a hand on my knee and drawing shapes into it and trying to inch his hand higher, I could only assume the latter.

"So, what are your intentions?" I ask point blank, moving his hand for a third time as it tried to slide up further on my thigh.

"What do you mean?" He laughs, placing his head into his hand that is propped on the counter and laying his other arm on his leg again so just his fingers just brush my knee.

"I mean, all the signs say you want sex, which you won't get." His fingers pause their dance, "What are you thinking?"

I watch as his face falls still, no smile. "Well," his hands withdraw from their place and he straightens his posture. "I had been hoping to have some fun tonight, but now I know that that's not going to happen." It doesn't surprise me when he stands and begins collecting his coat.

"So that's just it, that was all you were hoping out of this was sex? Nothing else?" I ask honestly, it always made me curious with how some people saw relationships these days.

"Well, honestly yeah." He pauses to look at me, annoyance evident in his facial features. "You seemed like the type to be into that, you lead me on-"

"Nope, didn't lead you on. We've been talking for what, three weeks, and you ultimately thought that I was only in it just for that?" I watch as he shrugs, causing me to shake my head, "You really must be thick. Either way, I hope you have a safe drive hope, thanks for keeping me company, having dinner, and letting me pay for half. Have a nice life."

I watch as he begins to float around the bar, flirting with other women in hopes that he can maybe not go home empty handed.

"I actually thought he was going to be it tonight, (Y/N/N). Sorry that didn't work out." Sam's voice carries from across the bar as she sets another drink in front of me while taking the two empty glasses.

"It was at least nice conversation before he decided to get handsy." I hum before I take a quick sip of the alcohol in my glass. "I think I need to try something new; I can't seem to do this right."

"Nah, dating in this day and age just isn't very fun anymore." Sam states, wiping her hands on her apron. "You gonna hang for a bit longer? I have my break in ten and we can talk more."

"Yeah, I'll be here." I state, smiling at her as she walks off to take someone else's order. I run my fingers through my hair and pull my phone out of my coat pocket, seeing that I had several new messages from not only Tinder, but a few other dating apps waiting.

I was sick and tired of all the guys who lead on that they wanted a relationship, but in reality only wanted a booty call or rebound; if I were to be so unlucky, by the end of the third date they stated they just wanted to be friends and then end up never messaging back again. I was tired of hoping fate would just finally say 'yeah, she's waited long enough' and dropped someone in my lap; but, no, all I had to show was the unopened messages haunting me from Tinder with an abundance of dick pics that were so unattractive that they could be mistaken for, well, anything else.

"You need to get off those apps, or make a new account." Sam states as she settles down next to me on a barstool.

I fold my arms over the bar, leaning over them. "What do you have in mind, Sam?"

"I'm so glad you asked, because I ran your dilemma by my sister, Carly, and she told me she might have the perfect solution for you."

"And that would be?"

"Heart Haven." Sam states with bright eyes, smiling happily at me. I raise an eyebrow at her as she looks at me for any sort of recognition of the name, she finds none. She rolls her eyes, "It's basically a matchmaking service. Her and Josh met through them. She can get you a free consultation."

"Sam, is this even a good idea?" I groan, "I don't wanna look like a loser telling them that I have been on so many dates and have only managed to get the guys just looking to get their dick wet."

"Y'know, for someone who says she's super innocent, you don't act like it sometimes." She laughs before pulling her phone out of her pocket and typing into google. She pulls up their website and hands it over to me.

Heart Haven, creating matches made in heaven. We as a company take into account that the world is a busy place, and going on date after date can lead to a whole world of self-doubt that a lifelong partner is so far away. We want to help you find your happy ending. With the assistance from our sister locations across the U.S. and around the world, we are able to not only find someone for you to love and cherish, but someone who will do that in return. Your consultation appointment to help us get to know you is absolutely free, and if you're worried about paying for our services, we can talk prices. If interested, call (***)-***-**** or email us at [email protected].

"Do you really think this could work?"

Sam shrugs, taking her phone back. "Well, I guess I can tell you tomorrow. I meet my match tomorrow."

"Really?" I look at her excitedly, smiling at the way her cheeks flush and her smile becomes shy.

"I'm so excited, I have a good feeling about this." She grabs my hands gently, "Go home, think about it, and text me tomorrow night. I'll help you get ahold of my counselor, she's amazing."

I nod, taking one last sip of my drink before sliding it closer to the opposite section of the bar and handing Sam my card. She stands and walks around to charge me, handing the card back once she's done. "Call me after your date tomorrow, I wanna hear all about it."

"Will do, see you later, (Y/N)."

Saturday evening had rolled around too quickly, as had an invitation to a family-friend's wedding. I had been sitting on the couch, reading over the Heart Haven website for the past few hours; checking statistics, prices, and stories of new-found love.

I pick up my phone and text Sam, hoping she had a great date, and wondering if I could get the number for the counselor she had been hyping up. It only took a few minutes before her message comes through,

------

Sam

Still with Asher, Hazel's number is (***)-***-****.

Make sure to tell her that Carly and I recommended the place.

You won't regret it.

Get ready, girl. Love is just around the corner.

------

I smile at the message, dialing the number and getting sent straight to voicemail, I take a breath as it cues me to leave a message. "Hi, my name is (Y/F/N), I was hoping to set up a consultation with Hazel. I heard from Carly and Sam Simmons that she's the best. You can reach me back at this number, hope to hear from you soon."

I smile as I end the call, maybe love was just around the corner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here is the PROLOGUE! I am so happy with how it has all turned out and I cannot wait for you all to get into it! Thanks so much for reading! Let me know what you think, like, reblog! Let me know if you want to be tagged! You’re awesome!

Chapter One

#cg writes #love without a name #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #strangers to lovers #arranged marriage #husband!tomholland

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carli113 · 5 years

Text

Story

Its been so long since I’ve been back here. I joined the xuania fandom and wrote a chapter for a non existent story. Now I want to draw some pics.

Okay. Continuation of Dong Hua and Bai Feng Jiu Eternal Love Drama story. This was supposed to be something that could transition from the drama to the novel without much trouble.

Bai Feng Jiu held back the tears as she formerly responded to Donghua's message upon her coronation. The time for games was over, she had to become queen and with that new position, many new responsibilities would come her way. She remembered that when Si Ming had answered her request regarding a message from Donghua, he had mentioned that the secrets would be inside the map. Her curiosity was peaked and for many hours she waited awaited, until finally the crowds had filtered out of her home.

“Thank goodness!” she cried when all was quiet , “Who knew that a coronation could be so exhausting?” With that the young queen retired to her bedroom, trying not to notice the fancy gift that was carefully situated beside her bed. Doing her best to ignore the map, Feng Jiu crawled into her covers and did all she could to get comfortable. Her attempts were in vain as she tossed and turned, but to no avail.

With the mysterious map staring at her from the side of her bed, Bai Feng finally gave up. Her curiosity had peaked, and Bai Feng couldn't help but open sacred treasure. “Oh my.” she gasped as she slowly revealed the picture. The map was absolutely beautiful. From the eloquent calligraphy to the perfectly inked and detailed map of the ages. The world had indeed changed, not a thing remained, but why in the realm would Dong Hua give her such a valuable item?

Peering over the map with laser eyed focus, Feng Jiu grappled to see if there was any message that he could be trying to give her, but could find none. Scanning the map with her essence, Feng Jiu sighed in defeat. She had no idea what Donghua's message was, or even if there was a message. Grumbling away, Feng Jiu began to return the map to it's place. It was then that a small piece seemed to resonate with her touch.

“What's this ?” she thought quietly, and quickly focused her energy on the strange oddity. An unusual fog began to settle in when a chime rang loud and clear from the Wu Wang sea. Startled out of the fogginess overtaking her, Feng Jiu slammed her hand on a sharp rock that seemed to appear from nowhere.

“Ouch!” she hissed, her eyes wide with horror as the object disappeared and two drops of blood fell upon the priceless treasure. “No!” she cried, her body suddenly feeling weak.

“Feng Jiu!”

“Your Majesty!” Came the faded cries, but it was no use.

Feng Giu woke with a start as her body seemed to burn like flame and her whole body seemed to be encased in an inky blackness. “Where am I?” she asked quietly, “Is this a dream?”

“Little flower, little flower,” called a frightful voice, loud as the thunder, and deep as the sea, “ Why have you hidden from me?”

“Hidden from you,” she asked , “What do you mean? Who are you? ”

“I am you, and you are me,” said the strong voice, “A Shadow of what once was and still can be.”

Hazily an image appeared in the inky blackness, a tall man, swift and strong with eyes as stormy as the ocean and hair as bright as the moon. “Is that...” she whispered, as the hazy image soon became clear ans sharp.

“Donghua.” Feng Jiu whispered quietly, her face pale as the figure slashed through hundreds and thousands of bodies. Never had she seen such a deadly look in his face. Soon a striking man with sharp eyebrows and long black hair revealed itself. “Yehua?” she whispered, then taking a look once again, “No... “ she whispered, “ Mo Yuan?”

“Yes,” the voice called, “This is an image from long ago, when the demon uprising nearly destroyed the world twice over. The battle was long and harsh and millions of souls died, god and man a like, even more so then battle of Roshui from so many years ago. Times were harsh than and the needed light had not yet appeared. Three great sacrifices were needed to stop the war filled with death to no end.”

“Three sacrifices...” trailed the young princess, Feng Jiu did not understand at first, but as she reflected on the most recent goings in her present life. “Are you saying...”

After a long pause, the voice rang out loud an clear once again.

“Yes,' whispered the haunting voice, “Of these three, there are two that you know quite well. The Donghai bell, a powerful artifact that required a powerful spirit to seal or quell the spirit of the vilest soul, the phoenix heart to scatter the darkness and start the world anew, and loss of love to tame the passionate fury of the strongest soul.” a pause, “Tell me little flower...do you know what this means?

“No...no.” stuttered the young queen, though a dawning of understanding seemed to appear behind her eyes.

“The Donghai bell has been destroyed, the strongest soul has weakened, the light has appeared, and the calamity that threatens the world has begun to move...” after a long pause, “ Your role, little flower, has come into play.”

“No. No, ” Cried the young princess, “ My role? What do you mean?”

“The phoenix blade is calling for it's master, and you little flower, must light it's way.”

With that the darkness seemed to fade, and Feng Jiu cried out as her essence seemed to melt away, and every inch of her body turn to Ash. Never in her 30,000 something years of life had she ever experienced such pain, not when the pagoda beast slashed her, the lightning struck her, or she took the full brunt of the Demon Lord's power to protect Donghua.

Feng Jiu bit her lip as a shining tear fell from her eye. The unbearable heat had been calmed and thousands of images filled her mind. Images of what once was and what can be came into play. Her purpose had been found, and her dear Donghua had guided the way. Feng Jiu just smiled, as her burning body began to cool and a bright red gem appeared on her forehead. “Donghua...” she whispered, “I understand.”

“Huh!” gasped the young queen. She was back and her body felt much stronger than before. Grabbing the mirror to her side, Feng Jiu looked at her appearance to see the half closed flower mark on her forehead had appeared to bloom.

“Majesty!” cried the beloved Migu as he attempted to embrace her.

“No!” cried the princess, putting her hand out , a fiery flame engulfing her palm.

“Princess!” he exclaimed in surprise, “What happened?”

“I-”

“She's ascended,” came the familiar voice of Si Ming. “Congratulations once again, high immortal Bai Feng Jiu.” he said, bowing slightly.

“Si Ming, what are your doing here?”

“His majesty Dong hua, requests your presence,” he said calmly.

Widening her eyes, Feng Jiu willed her heart to stop it's wretched hopeful pounding. Donghua and her no longer had anything to do with each other, so why was he requesting her presence? She hadn't talked to the ancient deity once since Yehua had been taken from their home three years ago, though she had indeed been tempted. With all he had told her on their last acquaintance, Why would he be summoning her now?

I don't understand, she thought silently, but her words came out, “I understand, please tell his majesty I will meet with him shortly.”

“His majesty Donghua Dijun requests your presence immediately.” emphasized the lord of dipper.

“ But father...”

Silently the familiar blue cloaked figure slipped out behind the silver clad figure. Clearing his throat, he gave her an almost proud look. “The manner has been addressed, ” quietly the man put his hands behind his back and gave a slight bow. “Though your power is strong, your discipline is lacking, do not keep the Dijun waiting any longer.” Though he did not say it, Feng Jiu could tell her father was not pleased with development, most likely do to her shameless actions, but no one was to stand against the formidable Dong Hua.

“Of course.”

“Little highness,” bowed Si Ming, and Feng Jiu nodded before following him to the aforementioned place of meeting. Swallowing slightly, Feng Jiu tightened her fists as the entered the deity's chamber. She had been here hundreds of times for thousands of years, but for after her ascension to high immortal, she had learned so much more about him. Suddenly being in his chambers seemed a thousand times more intimidating.

Presenting himself to the ancient deity, Si Ming bowed and announced his formal greeting,“ Lord of Dipper has arrived with Her highness, high immortal Bai Feng Jiu as per your request.”

“Thank You,” spoke the high deity, “ you may be excused.”

“Your majesty.” he responded and disappeared into a puff of smoke.

“No. Dont leave me!” squeaked out the young queen, her heart pounding as the object of that had earned her respect, awe, affection and recently her fear transported within a few centimeters and pulled her close to him.

“Don't leave me?” he quirked his eyebrow, ignoring the little prick of annoyance that cropped up in his stone heart. “Since when have you wanted his presence so much?” he teased before letting her go and stepping a way, arms folded behind his back.

“W...what?” she sputtered, “Thats not it...I just did..” want to be alone with you right now. She thought silently, not after-

Stopping less than a meter away from his little fox, Donghua . “Since when have you been afraid to be alone with me, little fox?”

“What?” oh dang it, she cried silently, I forgot! “Well I mean...”

“I seem to remember a little fox here not too long ago who dispersed just before my waking, snuck into my quarters with drinks, snacks, and lets not forget those lovely outfits...had I been a normal man, it may have been too much to bear.”

“Eep.” Feng Jiu squeaked out, body stumbling backwards as the man stretched out his arm and wrapped it around her , a knowing smirk on his face. “You mean ...You knew.”

The stone hard God nodded his head, “Of course I did.” he stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “After spending all that time at my palace, do you think I'd be fooled by your tricks?”

“N..No. I mean ” she breathed, face as red as a tomato. “I know I shouldn't have but.”

Remembering how her aunt used to break into the back way of heaven Feng Jiu decided to disguise herself as one of the deities and did the same. She didn't see much harm in it as she quietly watched over her Lord Emperor, brewing his favorite tea , dressing in his favorite outfit, or making his favorite snacks. As long as she left no trace, it would be fine.

“Now now,” he said almost kindly, “Did I say anything against it?” Though he should have dissuaded her from returning, her presence was like a drug, and whether or not he could be with her, he would drink it in like the addict he was.

“No.”

“So pray tell” he stroking something attached to his belt, “Why are you so frightened now?”

Based on the set up in the end, I strongly believe the new producers could do it. However, Dong Hua would need to continue that change from after he saw the rock of three incantations, Bai Feng Jiu would have to train and Ji Heng ( Bai Feng Jiu’s rival) would have to be introduced differently.

#dong hua dijun #bai fengjiu #pillow book #eternallove

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outcast-incel · 4 years

Text

First and foremost. This will be a reading blog. Pics, vids, memes etc will not be a priority for me. I may throw them in on occasion, but it won’t be often, if at all. I am not consistent, and I am not doing this as a major dedicated activity. I simply wanted to vent a bit, but have no one to vent with. Such is my life.

I guess I can start with a little about me. I’m me. I have tried on multiple occasions throughout my life to fit in with a stereotype or clique of some sort, but have never been successful in my attempts. The only thing that has remained consistent in my life is that pain is a constant companion. Luckily, I had the Army teach me how to embrace the suck and make it part of who I am.

I was raped as a kid, repeatedly, for more than a year. One of the neighbor’s uncles. I don’t know if it was a literal uncle, or someone who just said to call them uncle. Who knows. I was forced to play “the private game” with one of the neighbor boys for a very long time. I never told anyone about that until a year or so ago. I am now in my 30′s. It’s the reason that I am avidly against homosexuality in any form. I was physically and emotionally abused as well throughout my childhood until I got bigger than others and started fighting back. I had drug addict older siblings, and did not have my first friend until I was 10 years old. Needless to say, my developmental years were a bit traumatic.

I was constantly getting in trouble for lashing out (wonder why). It took me years to figure out that sometimes shit just happens, and you have to deal with it. I probably started to learn that at about the age of 17, but I am getting ahead here. I’ve been arrested on multiple occasions in my youth, but never did any jail time. I struggled with substance abuse the majority of my life (but am now 3 years sober) and various other forms of addiction as well. This included in my younger years sleeping with as many women as often as possible. It has been nearly a decade since I have been in a relationship now.

When I was in junior high and high school I went out of my way to try to belong anywhere. I hung out with the drug crowd, the gang banger crowd, the jocks, the popular kids, the nerds, the artsy types, heck I even tried to fit in with the religious crowd. It never happened for me, still hasn’t. I did come close when I spent nearly a decade with the Juggalos. They accepted me more than anyone ever did. However, like everything else though, over time that crowd was perverted by new folks who didn’t understand what it meant. Instead of being a family of outcasts, it became a competition of who could be the most hardcore. The younger generation started testing people to see if they were “really down”. It got old fast.

I joined the military when I was 20. I had to wait 2 years from my last arrest. I served as a Communications Specialist in the Signal Corps with the 4th Infantry Division. I served for 4 years and left as soon as they repealed don’t ask don’t tell. Obama did a very thorough job of destroying centuries of military history, tradition, and culture. I have a deep hatred for that man because of what he did to the armed forces and American culture as a whole. In all honesty though (hard truth), I wouldn’t have been able to last as a career anyway. My body was already breaking down with the rigors of military service, and it wouldn’t have lasted much longer. I now suffer from permanent injuries sustained near the end of my service, and they are only getting more and more painful as time progresses. Again, embrace the suck.

My alcoholism got really bad after spending 12 months in Iraq. It got out of control when I separated from the service. I worked hospital security for a number of years, then in the mines as a 3rd party contractor, hospital security again and finally caught my stride. I had a come to Jesus moment which changed my life. I quit drinking, and started going to church. I started college, bought a house, and a truck. I still struggle with addiction, but it is now food. It sucks because I would like to be a husband and father, but frankly, I’m a bit too emotionally detached for that to ever happen. Marriage is for the young and hopeful. Not the bitter and broken. It’s okay though, I won’t be the first person to die alone, and I certainly won’t be the last. Who knows. Maybe God will see fit to fully heal me and let me lead a normal family life. I like to think it’s a possibility.

I want to point out that all things considered, I think I turned out pretty well for my past. True I live alone, and only talk to a couple of friends once a month or so. However, I am not a criminal or a predator, I am a devout Christian, I love to do community service, and I have a deep love for my God, my Country, my family (we got over our childhood bullshit), and my friends (the few that I have). I used to enjoy the outdoors, but can’t anymore because of my injuries sustained in the service. I am now working in the tech industry. Figured I might as well use my military experience to my benefit. I am going to school for as much. I am at a point where I simply exist. Those who really know me look to me as a source of inspiration knowing that if I can keep going with my past experiences haunting me, they can as well.

The only thing that I ever wanted in life was to find a woman to spend the rest of my life with. To be in a relationship that is honest and loyal. That doesn’t seem to be a reality anymore. I’ve been engaged 4 different times, but every single one of my fiances ended up cheating on me. That was mostly my fault for the type of woman I used to pursue in my younger years. I will continue to have a small hope that it may happen, but as I mentioned earlier, I don’t see it happening at this point. I weigh well over 300 lbs. I’m bald, blind (not literally), and struggle with PTSD. I am emotionally and socially withdrawn. The only time I ever leave the house is to go to work, go shopping, or to visit family every few months. Maybe that will change now that I am working days for the first time in nearly a decade, but who knows. I do plan to go out more and enjoy the outdoors as much as I can. I can still go fishing, and camping so long as it’s easy terrain. Not much ladies to find there though.

I am very easy going, very sarcastic, and extremely empathetic when it is deserved, even though I hide that bit about me. I will say that I am also very apathetic as well. I don’t feel sorry for people and their situations most of the time since they are usually self inflicted. I am overly blunt and honest when asked a question and I love to argue. Truth be told, it isn’t usually much of an argument though. I almost always win. I am traditional. I think the reason for this is I hate what this world has become so I tend to look back. If I were to choose a period to live in, it would be either during the revolutionary days, the wild west days, or the days of the civil war. It seems that was the last time that people cared about their freedom instead of turning to the government to provide for them. People looked inward for strength or up to God. This country was founded on rebellion. Now, people rebel because they want to be controlled. The kicker is, most folks don’t even realize it.

There ya go. There is my introductory blog. I have now popped my blogging cherry. That is a little glimpse in to what has made me me. I think that a lot of my posts will be rants for the most part. It may seem like self pity at times, but I assure you, I don’t think highly enough of myself to pity myself. I feel that I deserve all the pain that is sent my way, because obviously it is meant to be. I honestly believe that I serve as hope for others that at least they’re not me. This detachment has made me excellent in leadership roles because I try to serve those under me instead of trying to only further my position. I go out of my way to help people so they may not have to experience the pain that has become my friend over the years. No one should have to be put through that.

God bless.

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sufjournal · 3 years

Text

Draft: The one that got away

Journal - yet to be characterised and storied for anonymity I have rewritten this a few times - there’s so many thoughts/feelings i’d like to get on paper but this is the pragmatic summary that i’ve settled for. After an accidental but memorable hook up several weeks ago, I kept in touch with this person I barely knew. I’d found myself in a daily dialogue with someone with whom I had no interest in befriending beyond a certain level (another story for this blog). I am still managing my depression and have carefully chosen the small circle of friends who I give my very limited time, energy and love. After the hook up I was being my usual nice person but this girl was very eager to actually get to know me and the more I casually revealed about myself, the more I could sense she was growing a liking. It was at this point I was reminded that I have a real value proposition - i’m a conscious, kind and smart guy who’s wired to seek growth in life. I have aspirations, am cultured and look after my family. All my friends tell me i’m an absolute charm and i’ve had no difficulty in initially impressing someone - my struggle was always in finding a person that could nurture me in return. I have since radically distanced from this person and I realised that empty sex is far the last thing I want to be doing.. I need to find my heart and soul a home which I can settle into and leverage for my recovery. I needed to get back out there and I finally did it - I signed up to a few dating apps. I had a friend help me pick out the best pics of me (I had a different set in mind) and the app remembered my profile description from ~14 months back, just needed a few tweaks and I was good to go. First day I got talking to a few girls but I instantly realised that I am not the person that i’m trying to sell, my mound is wound with anxieties and my exhaustion for everything in life, onset by the depression, has dwindled my value proposition to barely anything that it was. I am no longer that gym rat who tutored on weekends and worked on cars, cooked meals for home, went on long hikes - i’d even dropped the yoga. I matched a a variety of girls all of whom had a unique appeal to, the prospect of getting to know them and filtering them through my lenses of compatibility (personal/family/culture) There was this one girl though - who brought a different energy with her and really caught my attention that night. I recognised this energy, it was pure and authentic. Instantly I thought that this is a very sweet girl that I have no business entertaining - she was clearly on her own journey, falling in love with herself and the life she’s been blessed with. We spoke for a few hours; we recognised one anothers energy, humour and vibes. She was the awesome badass woman for me, we were building a promising proposition of love, laughter and cuddles. It was the kiss of life, to the depleted heart I carried with me. By the second day I told myself to slow it down, despite not having felt like this in such a magnitude before, I realised that I needed to present the real me, my family and the point of life i’m at. What I didn’t ever think in a million years was how openly she’d accept it all and was ready to stand by my side as we built something special together with nuclear synergy. The love was contagious.. she’d tell me about her aspirations of opening her own pre-school, how she reads her ‘laila’ when she’s sad (she said it the way my mum does, this was so powerful), she paid for her mum’s umrah (instantly made me think of how I failed to pay for my parents’ Hajj the prior year - I realised this was my second opportunity - to one day take her and her mum to Hajj) and I couldn’t stop playing back the vision of her ideal dream with me - brunch/afternoon tea with a nice walk and a cosied up intimate conversation. She had such a love for family, something I do too deep down but she manifested it in a way that i’ve never seen before. Her motivation to love her family was intoxicating and it really got me thinking about all the ways i’d like to retry connecting with my family. She was the girl i’d want to pray with one my wedding night - I’ve loved and hurt many times before and I knew this was different/special/worth holding onto. Whilst this all sounds like a fairy tale, what I cannot articulate is that despite not being a Dr or not being into gym didn’t cross my mind. it was the purity and genuineness of this girl that made me realise that love, chemistry and vibe is what the soul needs, not some crazy competence or intelligence. We joked, loved and connected. Her smile radiated in her snaps, her happiness was infectious and her eyes showed the strength of her soul. It was clear it was an aged soul, one that came out victorious against the battle of life and she had chosen love. She is going to be the mother of some loved and cherished hearts and I could have been the one to educate those kids about the world. It would have been perfect ! I realised that whilst we would be perfect and happy together. I know I have the capacity to love someone purely, i’ve done it before on countless occasions - i’ve touched souls and changed whole life trajectories but i’ve rarely ever had any positive experience for myself. I have one bruised egg left and it can only go in one basket - I told myself to be careful putting it in this one as it was still extremely early on but I had this puppy love excitement that you don’t want to shake off. Day 3 we realised a huge conflict of interest - a childhood best-friend that i’d dated before (will be journaled here in due time). A young and innocent relationship - between 17 - 19, it lasted about a year an a few months before I broke it off. We got back together once 6m later but didn’t last long at all. It was a sufficient relationship to call it young love, we traveled London together, I told her about my aspirations for life and the journey I’m on, we went to reading festival, enjoyed long road trips and just overall good vibes. She however wasn’t the one for me and I knew that, we came from different backgrounds and I knew that once she’d moved away to uni, it would bring our relationship to an organic end. What’s tragic is that she is the worst personality to be on the receiving end of news that her sister in law’s younger sister has fallen in love with her high school bf. Notorious for connivery and capacity to be cruel, it was obvious that if this beautiful relationship were to naturally blossom and thrive, it wouldn’t be long before the ex we do not ever speak of - caught wind and would probably make it her life mission to jinx and bewitch the most evilest of eyes over us and the family. This really broke my heart - that relationship was an isolated instance of teenage memories since which i’ve evolved 3 times over. I would like to genuinely hope that it was the same the other way around but I really don’t know and I don’t think I want to put my love through a lifetime of potential torture. I really don’t know if a royal pardon would even suffice. We realised this on the evening of day 3 and it cut me to shreds. We agreed we wouldn’t let it dampen the vibes, I then made one of the biggest mistake i’d ever made, there was so much momentum to my falling that by the next morning I was thinking of ways i’d tell my mum and all the ways I could support this girl on a lifelong journey of companionship and happiness. I was sending cute texts at 5am when I woke up and knew that there was someone out there who was making me whole again, giving me another fresh go at life. I should have kept my mind shut but the excitement and distraction from the depression was intoxicating. This was day 4 - it was the fell for and lost one of the most beautiful women i’ve ever come across. Day 4 ended with a horrible heartbreak when we both realised that it was genuinely too problematic to pursue this, twin tracked with the depression that was looming over me during this holiday break, it brought me to my knees. I cried, I hurt and I mourned the loss of something special. This felt like the biggest break/hope in 2 years of my gradual decline but its turned out to be the thousandth cut. it hit me hard and I hurt a lot - what’s worse was that the next day was a tough day for her and her family and I really wanted to be there for her. I was excited to show my first gesture of love by supporting her through this day. Day 5 instead consisted of me waking in the morning, missing her dearly, wishing she were with me. I was fighting off the sharpest pain in my heart and naval. It was the pain of heartbreak. Realised that I desperately needed picking up before I started work (day 7) - I sought to busy myself with a productive day and grief this loss in whatever way came naturally. I cleaned, cooked, did some DIY repairs, yoga, worked out and re-organised my room. I then sat down with a book, prayed and now i’m here writing this journal. Throughout the day, I couldn’t help replaying the same things in my mind - why did I fall for her so hard, why am I in such heartbreak, why have I gone to the lengths to write this and is there any light at the end of this tunnel. I know for a fact that if she wanted to still try pursue something, I would vow that this is the basket I put my last egg in and should it break, I will be there to take responsibility, protect and support her and make sure that the glass always remains half full. Realistically we may never get back together - i’m not worth the detriment of her sister and I accept that. I would be willing to do anything I could do liaise with concerned stakeholder sand resolve an amicable agreement/blessing for us to be happy together without something coming back to haunt us. Reflecting on my history with the person in question hugely throws this into doubt especially if she can’t handle the fact that i’ve found love elsewhere. This heartbreak is so real that this journal simply does not do it justice. Instead I hope that this journal will allow me to make peace with the one that got away - despite not having memories - we had vibes and feelings and so this emotional rollercoaster had a high that I never want to forget.

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thumper-darling · 7 years

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Will you send 65 questions my way?

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Oh my gOD YES. What if there is no life apart from my own and every person I come into contact with is just a highly thought out illusion in my head and nothing is real?

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

2. It definitely depends on where I am when it is dark? Like, I’m not going to be scared when it’s dark in my bedroom because I’m comfortable there, but I’m gonna be heckin terrified of the dark if I’m in the woods? You feel me?

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Ronald J. Stump

4. What is your favorite word?

Cluster or Truffle

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

Birch tree binch

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

“Wow, I really let myself go” :’)

But no, I thought about how I have mascara rings under my eyes but haven’t worn mascara in 2 days and I have for sure showered since then so why in the frickin heck do I have mascara marks under my eyes?

7. What shirt are you wearing?

An old man’s sweater that I thrifted

8. What do you label yourself as?

Interesting? Adventurous? Quirky? I don’t know, what do you label me as?

9. Bright room or dark room?

Dim room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Being bullied by @parkersenses

Nah, but I was actually having a deep conversation with my little step-sister about life and school advice.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

12. Who told you they loved you last?

Lulu @doctormelapples

13. Your worst enemy?

McDonald J. Rump

14. What is your current desktop picture?

….

a racecar…

15. Do you like someone?

I really like my doggo

16. The last song you listened to?

Adolescent by Lostboycrow

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

I could never hurt somebody, no way. like, how do you expect me to deal with that radical guilt. my conscience is way too pure for that.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

I would rather not punch people in the face? Does it count if I answer with who I would like to punch me in the face?

19. If anyone could be your servant for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

Um, I would want to have Harrison Osterfield be my “assistant” for a day. I would literally just have them hang out with me because I need friendship to thrive

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

My eyes? or my freckles, even if they are faint

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

I don’t heckin know what I would look like. Like me but more testosterone? I would like to just live my everyday life, but observe the differences from male and female treatment that’s incorporated in our society.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

I can juggle really terribly

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

I’m not afraid of anything

the past coming back to haunt me

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Bagel for bread, jalapeno cream cheese, lettuce, tomato, smoked turkey, and havarti cheese

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Either on a tattoo, or put it in my college savings. But probably on a tattoo because I have no financial security.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Montreal Canada binch. Okay no, but probably like NYC or LA or something super stereotypical like that.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

Mike’s Hard Lemonade for decades. honestly, I love lemonade and those drinks are so heckin tasty.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

You have a right to your own opinion, until it infringes on the basic human rights of others. Then ur fined and thrown in jail for being a rude ass disrespectful person thx.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

My book “The Perks of Being A Wallflower”

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

The drama that went down with my family last summer and earlier this year

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Oooh, maybe London or Barcelona? Or Italy. OH ITALY WOULD BE WONDERFUL

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

There was a girl who got into a car accident a few weeks ago, I didn’t know her, but I do know that she was 18 and had just graduated Valedictorian of her class. She had a full ride to college, so I think I would bring her back.

34. What was your last dream about?

A hotel room

35. Are you a good….dancer?

THE ANSWER TO THAT IS YES

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Ah yes

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

Not well

38. What is the color of your socks?

White.

39. What type of music do you like?

All of it idk

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Vanilla

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

I don’t know, Michigan State

43. Do you have any scars?

I have a few from accidents when I was younger. I’m a clumsy oof

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

After I graduate college I’d like to be involved with writing somehow. I really want to work on films or work with manuscripts.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I’d like to be a more energized person

46. Are you reliable?

I like to think so

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Are you happy with your life?

48. Do you hold grudges?

I really try not to. I don’t like to hold on to hatred or anger.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

A fox and a golden retriever? That’d be a fun mix

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

I once had a conversation with someone about who had cooler socks? And kept sending pics to each other of our goofy sock collection. That was a strange one.

51. Are you a good liar?

God, I hope so

52. How long could you go without talking?

I once went 24 hours without talking, soooo

53. What has been your worst haircut/style?

I LET MY FRIENDS CUT MY HAIR THE SUMMER BEFORE MY SOPHOMORE YEAR AND I ENDED UP WITH A CHERRY RED ASYMMETRICAL BOB AND IT WAS WAY TOO SHORT FOR MY FACE SHAPE AND IT WAS AWFUL

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

I cheated and did like an eggless cake or something like that?

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

Hecking, no. Accents are not my strong suit

56. What do you like on your toast?

Peanut butter or butter with cinnamon sugar

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

a little doodled heart probs

58. What would be you dream car?

Ford fiesta? Idk

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I sing in the shower when nobody else is home. That’s about it.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

YES It is literally impossible that we are the only living and thriving society in the entire universe? Like?? The possibilities are endless.

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

Not always, but if it pops up on my dash I’ll look at it

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

S or T

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dragons! Was that even a question

64. What do you think about babies?

I get nervous around babies. They’re such small, delicate humans and I feel too much responsibility being around babies.

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

You didn’t ask anything, so I’ll just tell you about my day?? I had a college freshman event today and I met some pretty cool people and it has me less worried about starting college. I also think I’m gonna read and write a bit today, so I’m pretty excited about that. Also, my mom comes back from out of town in an hour or so and I can’t wait to see her.

#Get to know me #ask

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shirlleycoyle · 4 years

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The Men Who Love Getting Their Balls Absolutely Destroyed

Welcome to Rule 34, a series in which Motherboard’s Samantha Cole lovingly explores the highly specific fetishes that can be found on the web. If you’ve thought of it, someone’s jerked off to it.

The links in this article may be considered NSFW.

Bitta VonSweet's foot slave loves when she stomps on his dick and balls. "He loves the pressure," she told me. "The feeling of my full weight on him is exhilarating. The meaner I am to him, the more he is willing to serve."

Once, when he was laying beside her bed while she stepped on his penis sticking out from a cockbox, she climbed onto her bed and jumped off—onto the box, full force.

"His eyes were as wide as saucers as he grabbed the sides of the box to brace for impact," she said. "I can only compare it to landing on concrete and smashing a water balloon, without it popping! He let out a gasp of air and replied, 'I love you, Mistress.' I thought, wow. That's loyalty and dedication. Not to mention I got the giggles and wanted to do it again. His reaction was priceless."

Much has been said, of late, on the topic of feet. Looking back, the last year has seen the triumphant rise and vindication of the foot fetishist. Quentin Tarantino's sole obsession was laid bare, the silicon foot-fucksleeve Vajankle debuted and continues to haunt me, the good fellas of Wikifeet helped me solve a mystery, and here at Motherboard we recently got to the bottom of our own footsie-wootsie enigma: the size of Jeff Bezos's feet. Everyone on my Twitter feed was toying with the idea of selling foot pics to pay off some debt.

While casual observers of foot fetishism might think being "into feet" means a gentle, longing to give someone a foot rub or pining after some piggie-pics, that's only part of the story. There's a whole subsection of people whose kink is someone planting that foot, as hard as they can, straight down onto their dick and balls.

The first time I saw cock-trampling in action, it was during a scroll through my Twitter feed. I stopped on a video of a woman jumping—jumping!—up and down on a board balanced on a lying man's torso. When I looked closer, I could see the man's penis sticking out through the board. With every landing of her bare feet, his whole body twitched in pain, and she lifted off again. I wasn't sure if I was witnessing a permanent maiming, or an incredible testament to the resilience of the human mind and body. I soon learned it was the latter.

This isn't your usual "send feet" amateur shit, or even a "foot job" video. This is cock trampling and ballbusting. And you might have some questions, as I did.

What are cock trampling and ball busting?

VonSweet, who lives a trample domme lifestyle with her current footslave and sells videos of their sessions online, tells me she's always been a "scrappy kind of gal." So years ago, when a man walked into her life who not only had a foot fetish but an affinity for cock trampling, it changed her world.

"I relished walking up and down on him, overpowering him with my full weight," she said. "It was my way of making him submit to me when he got too lippy."

As their relationship grew, so did their experimentation. The cockbox—a hard, square structure with a hole for the penis to poke through—was a revelation. "I was able to stomp, crush and grind till my heart's content. Even jumping up and down on it with bare feet, sometimes even wearing stilettos, just to be cruel."

According to a blog entry by the sex toy company Lovense, trampling, crush porn, and giantess fantasies (where a Godzilla-sized woman steps on a very tiny person) are not sub-genres of one another, but distinct kink categories that sometimes overlap. Trampling alone involves a lot of flavors: You can be into being literally walked all over, but not into your dick getting stomped. Or you might only want your penis pulverized. Or your balls. Or both, like VonSweet's foot-loving sub.

Cock and ball tourture, or CBT, is the name for the wider BDSM umbrella under which ballbusting and cock trampling falls. CBT might involve chastity cages, impact play with whips or paddles, or kicks in the nuts. For our purposes, we'll focus on when feet come in contact with the genitals. A simple form, no extra hardware necessary.

Why are people into cock and ball torture?

Nearly 10 years ago, BallBustedSub lost a bet.

"I’ve always had a thing for dominant women in heels," UK-based BallBustedSub, who requested to be cited using his Twitter handle, told me. Although he first got into ballbusting and tramping around the age of 16, his first in-person ballbusting experience came years later. "It all started with a throwaway comment I said, something like, 'I’d bet my left nut on it.' Can’t even remember what the bet was now but I actually lost," he said.

"I was shocked and delighted at this new point of weakness I had discovered."

"She was the one who said right, 'I’m going to claim my prize, I want to stand on your ball.'" That escalated to her putting books under his nuts and standing on them, in different shoes, and barefoot.

Nowadays, BallBustedSub visits a professional dominatrix. "My favourite things are being trampled in the cockbox or lead on my stomach with my balls out behind me so she has full access to crush them. I love the feeling of being led in the cock box and giving over full control and then watching as the domme tramples my manhood for her own pleasure and amusement."

The dominatrixes that do the busting are often very amused.

"Ballbusting always made sense to me. I am a sadist and it's an easy way to hurt someone with balls," Danielle Blunt, a NYC-based domme, told me. "One of my early memories is playing catch with my dad. I threw the ball to him, missed his glove and hit him in the balls instead. He doubled over in pain and shrieked in a high voice, 'I think we are done with catch now.' I was shocked and delighted at this new point of weakness I had discovered."

Blunt's had a lot of experience busting balls, metaphorical and literal, so I asked her why she thinks her clients get off on something so excruciating.

"It makes sense to me that a client who likes pain would like trampling," she said. "I think everyone processes pain differently. I've seen people cum from ballbusting. It's such a sensitive part of the body and so many people with balls have experiences hurting them, it makes sense that some people eroticize that pain."

Can it be done without causing damage?

Personally, my biggest question about ballbusting and cocktrampling wasn't why people enjoy it—people get off on all kinds of wild things—but how it's done without actually breaking someone's dick off or exploding theiryes nutsack like a split beanbag.

I contacted a dozen urologists to try to learn more about the limits of these highly stompable wieners. None responded to my questions.

But after some pointed internet searches, I have my answer anyway. Despite being so sensitive, the penis is incredibly durable and resilient. There are no bones in dicks, but there are three tubes: the urethra, and two corpora cavernosa, which fill with blood to make a boner.

According the Urology Care Foundation, it's possible to "break" your dick, or at least hurt those tubes and the nerves around them, if "during an erection, a man sustains a level of unnatural force to the penis, with much more energy than the normal force associated with sexual activity, a break or fracture may occur." Basically, stubbing your dick really hard, to the point that it breaks those vessels.

But what about slamming two sets of pedicured toes down on the thing, from a few feet high?

Men's health platform Roman has some inspiring information on that front: A penis can handle eight times more blood pressure than the blood vessels in your brain. If the pressure of blood that rushed to your dick when you're horny ran to your (other) head instead, it would explode your brain in your damn skull.

So, penises are spongy and stretchy, as long as you don't torque or bend them too hard. That might explain why stomping flat down on one, on a hard surface, can happen without being permanently damaging. Testicles are more tender—they can rupture, fracture, dislocate, and deglove, according to WebMD's horrifying list of ball injuries. A lot of this can happen from a strike or blunt force, such as being kicked in the jewels for fun.

But BallBustedSub swears it's not hurting him long-term. Like most BDSM play, it's about starting slow and constant communication.

"It’s really a case of building up, and as the domme sees what you can take, adding more each time until she gets to a level where it’s almost unbearable," he said. "Obviously safe words are used too… I can always stop things at any time."

Blunt said she's taken anatomy classes from kink-friendly doctors to ensure what's going on underfoot isn't causing real harm. "I always ask about people's previous experiences to assess what their limits might be," she said. "I've had to be creative while playing with someone who was into CBT and trampling who had a prosthetic testicle."

VonSweet echoed that the safest precaution is preparation and working up to more intense play: Ball stretching, rough stomping with soft soled shoes first for a couple weeks, gradually moving into square heeled shoes, stilettos with the heels sanded down to be dull, then, eventually, stilettos.

"The human body is pretty resilient," she said. "I push him as far as his mind will take him, and even more, if I know he can give it." Aftercare consists of an ice pack on his meat and "a lot of 'thata boy' encouragement, she said. "He really will lay down his entire body for me to do what I like to it. He feels it's his job, and I wholeheartedly agree."

The Men Who Love Getting Their Balls Absolutely Destroyed syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

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hangonimevolving · 6 years

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Sewing Table Refurb: The Backstory

I’ve got a little less than an hour to spend today, updating all you lovely people about a project I’ve had going on for some weeks now.

So, I sew sometimes. I would like to sew more than I currently do, and I’ve decided that this is the year it’s gonna happen. I believe I have talked about sewing on this blog before, namely with regards to various reupholstering and quilting projects I’ve taken on in the past. I think I’ve even introduced you to two of The Girls - - i.e my sewing machines. I’ve got a 1964 vintage Sears/Kenmore sewing machine that I purchased off of Craigslist back in Boston for $60, which included a beautiful midcentury solid wood cabinet that conceals the machine when not in use (talked about it here and here).

It had its original midcentury-era drawer pulls when I first purchased it, but I switched them out to more updated knob pulls back in 2007 because I was being anal-retentive and wanted the hardware to be brushed nickel, to match other crap in our condo.

I also have a substantially more modern, and in “like new” condition (but actual age, maybe 20 years old) Husqvarna Viking serger (discussed here). I remember feeling like a frigging rock start for scooping it up at $100.

Last year, during a giant Slipcovering Bonanza undertaken by me and my mom to guard my ginormous, beautiful double-sectional West Elm sofa from my destructive children and cat, my old Kenmore started giving me a little bit of grief.... my mother convinced me that I owed it to myself to buy a new sewing machine, if I was serious about continuing this hobby. She said all the right things about how I deserved a newer machine with a few more features and a little less of the wheezing and attitude of an older machine. I took the bait, and bought myself this Gorgeous Lady: a Janome HD 3000.

I’m incredibly pleased with this machine. I paid under $500 for it on Amazon, and this included a bunch of “free gifts” and accessories like a bunch of special presser feet, extra bobbin set, and some other doodads.

I love the machine. But. (there’s always a but, isn’t there?).... I am a brat. After sewing on my old-school Kenmore machine in the built-in cabinet for so many years, I got accustomed to having my needle plate sitting flush with the tabletop while I sew. To those of you who have no idea what the #$%^ I’m talking about - -the short version of the story is, I missed the ergonomics of how my old vintage machine was set up. Here is a graphic that might explain:

(I stole that image from someone on Pinterest, but I’ve left their handle name up there in case someone wants to go search for it)

Here’s another image that might allow a non-sewing person to understand what my problem was. This is also from IKEAhackers on Pinterest.... in summary, see how this machine has been set INTO the table a bit, instead of just having its base sitting on top? This allows you to work fabric through the machine’s needle without having to hunch your shoulders.

Anyways. Thus far, I had been working on my new Janome machine either at the dining table or on my desk in our home office, or sometimes, on top of my old Kenmore machine’s cabinet with the hinged tabletop still shut. All of these setups were making my shoulders and neck pissed off at me, but there wasn’t much I could do about it unless and until I was ready to start thinking about coming up with a proper furniture solution.

Somehow, about a month ago, I got a little fed up with my shoulders and back muscles hurting, and after my second round of Botox injections in my levator scapulae muscles in as many years, I decided I really ought to do what they say in my MMA classes... “protect ya neck.” It was time to find a sewing table with a drop-in shelf that would allow my machine to sit with its needle plate flush to the work surface.

Naturally, my first thought was to buy a table that was ready made for this purpose. So I perused the interwebz.

I found a number of tables like this and this and this. And these are perfectly fine options.... for someone else. NO judgment if you own and love one of these tables. But they weren’t for me. They either looked too flimsy, too particle board-y, too not my style, or too expensive for me. As I said before, I am a spoiled, spoiled brat, who lucked out and got a wonderful vintage machine in an almost MORE wonderful solid wood cabinet many years ago, and it happens to be EXACTLY from my dream design era of the midcentury modern years. So I was totally ruined on any kind of commercially-available table that was out there to be purchased.

It was time for me to do things MY way. And we all know what way that is. The way that starts out exciting, unique, and very cheap, but then snowballs into some giant, physically-involved and exhausting project that in the end costs more than one of those readymade tables would cost. HAHAHA :) I am so extra, as the youngsters say.

So off I went! I spent hours and hours on the internet trying to brainstorm ideas, educating myself on what it would take to buy a nice solid wood console table or desk, and DIY a cutout and drop-shelf for my machine. I did a daylong “research” trip to some big box home furnishing discount stores in my area, to see if I could find an inexpensive but solid wood table that I could modify. But I came up empty-handed - -nothing was my style, in my price range, or - -a dagger - - easily modifiable. Bummer.

Stop #2 on my sewing table option train was to spend hours on Pinterest reading with great curiosity how there’s a whole world of sewing people out there who have successfully, and relatively easily, converted this one particular table from IKEA into a sewing table: the IKEA Ingo dining table. A woman at the blog Blue Dinosaurs was the pioneer of this conversion, and since then, many (she speculates thousands) of others have followed her awesome tutorials. I considered this briefly, but was always put off by the dimensions of this Ingo table, which, sadly, would be too wide and cumbersome in the sewing space I have in my home (our guest room, which also houses a queen sized bed, two side tables, and a long 6-drawer dresser, as well as my old Kenmore cabinet and the serger table).

Then, I sat and thought about it: hmm, if I was willing to entertain the idea of converting a table, but I didn’t want to do a dining table....what kind of table would be the easiest to convert into a sewing table? Duh, maybe a SEWING table. Now one might wonder why I didn't think of this earlier. I didn’t immediately think about finding a vintage sewing table because I was stuck on the notion that the cutout for a vintage machine wouldn’t fit my newer machine precisely. But I realized, if I was willing to learn how to cut into a solid tabletop, I could probably teach myself to modify and elongate an existing cutout even more easily. SO! I was newly energized. This time, I took to the app Letgo, which is the newfangled and more mobile device-friendly version of Craigslist. It also happens to be relatively popular in my area. It only took a few days for me to stumble upon a BEAUTY, listed for $55. I contacted the seller, she replied within hours, and by 10 am the next morning, I was in possession of My New Baby:

Ain’t she GORGEOUS! Look at those amazing drawer pulls! Look at those GAMS! I was smitten. It was love at first sight.

Okay, warning: I’m about to nerd out for a second. If you have no interest whatsoever in sewing machine history, please feel free to stop reading here, and stay tuned for my next installment of the Great Sewing Table Refurb!

Nerd time: She’s a vintage Singer sewing cabinet. I happened to meet the seller and her mom (the former owner of the table), and talk with them awhile. The seller didn’t sew herself, but she tried to sell me a box of accessories that went with the original machine that was housed in this cabinet, including a shitload of switchable stitch discs. I declined because I knew they would serve precisely zero purpose at all to me, with a brand-new modern machine of a different brand - - but I was fascinated, looking through the box of stitch discs and interesting accoutrement. She also showed me - and I could just KICK MYSELF that I didn’t take photos of it, or even ask her to give/sell it to me!!! - the original catalog and manual for this cabinet and the machine that went with it. I’ve been haunted ever since that I didn’t note down the information, but here is what I do remember and have been able to piece together.

This table housed a vintage Singer sewing machine. I have been able to deduce that it was likely either a 401a, 500 Slant-O-Matic, 503 Slant-O-Matic (the “Rocketeer!!!") or possibly a 513 Stylist. I think I recall seeing the date 1957 or 1958 on the catalogs and manuals she showed me, which would mean it couldn’t have been the Stylist, which only was released in the late 60′s-early 70′s. Also, the fact that she had a box full of stitch discs that she was trying to sell me corroborates the fact that it may not have been a 513 Stylist, because the Stylist didn’t use removable stitch discs, I don’t believe (but I could be wrong?) - - so I’m super excited b/c that means this is a true MCM (midcentury modern) piece of furniture. I distinctly remember that the catalog showed several cabinet models, including the well-known Singer “Copenhagen” cabinet, which was produced from about 1957 for a few years, and was almost identical to this table, except it had different cabinet hardware and a stabilizing cross-beam on the right legs. However. The only exact photos online of my particular cabinet all have 513 Stylists mounted in them. Hmm. This may mean NOTHING to anyone out there, but if you know anything about antique sewing machines, this is all sorta interesting. Dude. Sewing machine history is VERY INTERESTING. I’ve been learning a lot through getting to know my new love interest.

History buffs, or those willing to hang in there with me: check out these pics!

Original hang tag off of a Copenhagen cabinet, published 1961. Also, helpfully for my purposes, listed the precise materials used in the construction of the cabinet (walnut wood and walnut wood veneer)

Helpful screenshots from the encyclopedic website of the International Sewing Machine Collectors Society (ISMACS).

This is all evidence that my cabinet dates between 1957-1962 or so. However, I found a few images online at auction sites like this one that give me reason to feel some doubt, that perhaps my table is newer, and originally held a Singer Stylist??? Hmm.

But ACK! I just found another one, and this table is housing a Singer 306/306K, which ISMACS tells me dates to 1954-62, so overlapping the 401/500....

So, yeah. I dunno. Now. Does it even matter what frigging model of machine this table once held, or when it was built? Does it even matter if it truly dates to the midcentury modern era?! I love the styling, and its going to fit my needs. I know. That’s all that should matter. But I am A NERD, and nerds die hard. Nerds love nothing more to do than nerding out. So this has given me something new to nerd out about for awhile, and its been delightful.

And... since I’m still, specifically, a liberal arts research nerd at heart, here are some screenshots and a link to an awesome article on the importance of the Singer Sewing Machine company to the history of American (and world) furniture production. Read it here!

Teaser screenshots:

Alright. Laters, people! This is just the first part of my long-winded refurb story, and I look forward to bringing you the rest soon!

#sewing #upcycling and repurposing #vintagesewingmachines #midcenturymodern

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