#i gave up on bg i was working on this for 7 hours leave me alone

[annakie]

An Annotated Mass Effect Playthrough, Part Seven

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Wherein we... talk to the crew. I didn’t quite make it off the ship.

Still, a lot of words.

Aka the nearly All-Gif update.

Didn’t get a chance to play ME at all this week, so I’m going to spend a few hours this weekend (double-checking to make sure screenshotting works :p) and have some real updates later.

So making it back to the ship from Therum, it’s time to talk to the crew.  I maybe could have gone and talked to them after getting on the ship after the Citadel, but they don’t really have any unique lines then so, I usually wait til now to go chat.

First, let’s talk to Liara.

The thing that sucks about talking to Liara (or Kaidan, or Ashley, if you don’t want to romance them) is, you know, the accidental romance.  Making “picking the Paragon-place choices = romance by default with NO WARNING” design was very Not Good.  They fixed this in later games, well moreso in Dragon Age games than ME, (and Andromeda is done very well for this) but still.  In ME3, the BackOff mod does a great job of making romance dialog more obvious and intentional.  

Liara’s dialog choices I feel like are even LESS obviously flirting I feel like than Ash and Kaidan’s.  Honestly with Liara’s most of the lines can be read and even said aloud as friendship then BOOM, all of a sudden she wants a threesome.  I choose middle dialog options whenever possible with Liara just to avoid this.  I’m not interested, never have been, don’t want Kaidan to think he has any competition.  But seriously, it’s poor game design here that you literally have to be a jerk to a companion at some points to avoid having them think you want to bang.   God, half of the reason I’d love a remaster would be to hopefully fix shit like this to avoid some of the pitfalls.  

I hate that some people use this as a reason to dislike these characters more.  And I’ll admit, in my early days as a ME fan, I held it against Liara, too, until I realized how dumb that is.  I especially hate it when you get to the “confrontation scene” and people use Kaidan not wanting to be in a threesome as a reason to dislike him more?  It’s not a bad thing to want to be monogamous?  (And of course, it’s not a bad thing to NOT want to be, assuming everyone is open and OK about it.)

I just prefer to not get that scene at all now, and to avoid “leading anyone on” accidentally etc.  My Shepard knows early on what she wants, and sticks with him all the way through.

I was going to talk more here about my feelings about Liara in general but uh, I guess I’ll do that later.  This is already really long.

Here’s a great post about how to avoid romancing Kaidan while being rude as little as possible to him.  

Well since he’s right outside the medbay anyway, let’s go talk to the LT.  

Have I mentioned how much I hate the orange glow?  

So anyway, I thought maybe I’d talk here a little bit about Why Kaidan?

I will point out here that I am mostly a hetero woman, so my choices in video game romances lean towards men first, though I’m also very cool with doing non-m/f romances in games, and often do on subsequent playthroughs of games I love, but that’s almost never gonna be my primary romance.

I’d already mentioned my love for Carth Onasi, one of the most hated companions in video games, If You’re A Guy.

By today’s standards, even the Carth romance isn’t that great.  But at the time, it was the greatest romance I’d experienced in video games.  There were a few others that were really good -- Valen Shadowbreath in Neverwinter Nights: Horde of the Underdark was the other really great one, but we also got nightmare fuel like Anomen in Baldur’s Gate (though that gets better with mods + the final BG expansion) or just under-written characters or romances like Casavir in NWN2 (who was much better with mods) or hell, either of your choices in KotOR2 imho.  But I used to play KotOR over and over for many reasons, such as holy shit a Star Wars game(!!) and one where you can actually be a female main character AND has that great Bioware storytelling... but a big reason was Carth.  

A funny thing about Carth Onasi... if you play a male main character, you have a very different experience with Carth than if you play a woman.  And even I can agree that hoo boy Carth gets tiresome quick if you play a male, as a female you at least get to flirt and that calms him down and evens him out a lot. But the one time I tried playing as a male, I didn’t make it off Taris because.. yeouch I could actually see what the guys playing were so mad about.

But hey, that voice.  Raphael Sbarge, I love that voice.  So like I said early on in these posts, I immediately knew I was going to romance Kaidan the very second I confirmed he was romancable, before I even ran back into the ship and met anyone on the crew aside from Joker and Kaidan.

And... that only got confirmed more and more as I went through ME for the first time.  The character is smart, and capable, and respected you, and never questioned your command, but made his feelings pretty clear along the way.  He could be a little doofy but in an adorable way with some of the things he said, honestly there was almost never anything I didn’t love about this character.

I realized some time ago that I have a thing for the Paladin archetype personally. 

This is Casavir, from Neverwinter Nights 2, and in NWN2, there are two romance options for women.  An under-written Lawful Good Paladin in his late 30′s who is willing to buck his superiors to do what he thinks is right but also places you on a pedestal and holds back all his emotions.  He’s a romance option. Or....

Bishop, a chaotic evil ranger who insults you a lot, threatens to rape an NPC under your protection, and ultimately betrays you.  

Most people who played NWN2 seemed to prefer the CE Ranger.  I loved the paladin so much I wrote fix-it fic that I never have gotten around to publishing anywhere to retcon his terrible dumb ending.

There’s a fan-made romance mod that helps with the romances in this game, though I dislike a lot of what they did, ultimately I always use it.

In Dragon Age?

Ah yeah, the Templar-Warden.  Love him.  He does have that “Oh I’m so young and experienced tee-hee” thing going on that isn’t my favorite, (at this point mostly because I’m actually in my mid-40′s so uh, I’m just Old) but otherwise, yeah, love Alistair.

Dragon Age 2, I mean I usually romance Anders but... I’m not real excited about either him or Fenris, or even either of the ladies, though I have done Isabella’s romance (as well as Fenris’) and enjoyed it.  I’d probably romance Avaline (or Varric!), if she were an option.  But yeah, Anders mostly because he IS trying to do what’s right, even if he... well.  You know.  

But Dragon Age Inquisition?

Give me that Blackwall-angst.  That stoic guy trying to be a Warden who comes undone for you.  You’d think I’d go for Cullen, but hey this game gave us two paladin archetypes, though one is merely pretending, he still atones and becomes what he was trying to be, one way or another, if you let him.  I picked this paladin archtype first because I did not like Cullen based on interactions with him in DA1 & 2.  I like him well enough in DA:I but Blackwall is my guy here.

Out of all the many, many companions in SWTOR, who’s my fave?

If Aric Jorgan isn’t a Paladin-type I don’t know who is, especially since any romanceable Jedi are uh, all your female padawans (don’t get me started) until Lana (also female) comes along. 

Hell, in a very long-running 4e D&D game I played from around 2009 to 2014 where my character fell in love with our party leader’s son, married him and fought the final boss 4 months pregnant with our twins.  That character’s husband... was a paladin.  I mean look at this art my friend picked out for his character’s son:

I mean dang, who (of those who are attracted to men of this type) wouldn’t?

I always pick the Paladin.  The guy who is gonna Do What’s Right no matter what it costs him, the guy who’s gonna be loyal, the guy who may bottle up his emotions or keep them under control all the time but ultimately does what it takes to get the girl... that’s my fave.  And that’s Kaidan.

I will also say my second fave archetype is rogue-with-a-heart-of-gold, and that’s more of a Garrus or Varric (if only he were a choice!!! :( ) type.. aka my second choice in these games.

Well that was a lot more words on that subject than I meant to do, so I’m going to just say real quick here that what I love about this first conversation with Kaidan is that he’s already no dummy, he knows something is up, and warns you about it.

We’ll save talk about his backstory for another day.

Let’s head downstairs.

Yay for sped-up elevators!  What used to take like 20 seconds now takes like, four.

URDNOT WREX.

This another place where Shepard starts out just sticking their foot in their mouths completely.  I feel like this is something the game definitely has problems with here.  Shepard should know a lot more about the Genophage, like they should have about say, Spectres, even if the player doesn’t. So basically every response you can give to Wrex about the genophage and what his people are going through sounds really insensitive.  Comparing the relatively minor First Contact War with the entire galaxy more or less uniting to keep the Krogan from taking over after the Rachni war seems pretty dumb, and also like something Shepard should already know.

Loredumping on the Krogans a bunch with Wrex is necessary, but  I think it could have been done better.  Though I think there are a lot of questions about the Krogan and the Genophage that ultimately are important but go unanswered. I’m going to be honest, because generally I want my companions to be happy and ultimately I want the happiest ending I can get, I usually cure the genophage and leave Wrex in charge.  But also I don’t think that ends up with the happiest ending for the galaxy.  Everything about the genophage is terrible, how it works, how it was administered, what it’s done to the Krogan as a people, but let’s be honest, the galaxy will also be in huge trouble just from a resources perspective if each krogan woman can have hundreds (or even just dozens) of babies a year, who are gonna all live a thousand years.  There’s got to be a compromise that, eventually, hopefully Wrex works out if he’s alive at the end of ME3 or the council figures out with Wreav or whoever.  

It is kinda funny though that here, I basically met Wrex at C-Sec, told him I’d help him with Fist, sent him to my ship, and basically just kidnapped him to go help with the rest of the mission.  He wanted to be here, right?  I can only assume I’m paying him a lot.

Ashley!

I do love Ashley Williams.

I’m not going to turn this into a “Is Ashley Racist” thinkpiece.  I’ve read a lot of both sides of this argument and no, I don’t think she is.  Some pieces of her attitude do need to be kicked up a bit, for sure.  She’s got about the same issues with aliens as most of the species of the galaxy have with each other, which sometimes isn’t great, but she’s far from supporting Terra Firma.

She’s smart, she’s funny, a hell of a shot, she’s being held back due to her family name.  I would love for if someday a Wilshenko OT3 were possible.  I’d do that in an instant.  I despise the fact that you can only keep Kaidan forever if you lose Ashley forever, though I don’t see that changing even in a remaster.  Please Bioware, for the super ultra remaster?

I know I need to do another run through the game with Ashley alive. I don’t remember too much of what happens in ME3 when she’s there.

I also love that her story is so much one of family.  From her stories of her sisters, to the point that it’s her own grandfather’s legacy that’s holding her back.  She’s so grounded, she reminds us that there are civilians out there we’re keeping safe, a whole world we rarely see, up in space and in the middle of so much military conflict.

GARRUS.

First of all, whew Garrus looks amazing in the lighting and with the textures with ALOT/MEUITM.  Very handsome.

Interestingly, Garrus does not really loredump on the turians.  We absorb a lot of what we find out about the turians more naturally.  Garrus is more all about C-Sec and the general politics of the Council, of Spectres, of C-Sec.  Gonna be honest, I expected C-sec to play into the game as a whole a lot more than it did based on Garrus’ talks about it.  I mean it was always there, but Bailey ends up being the face of C-Sec 

Garrus’ Law vs. I Do What I Want attitude is a nice way to do a non-goody-two-shoes companion story without having to go evil.  I love that Garrus’ story kinda mirrors our own as players, how are we going to get things done?  Shove a blaster in people’s faces, accept collateral damage, and do whatever it takes to get it done?  OR play by the rules, compromise, and see if that fixes things.

The thing is though, Mass Effect actually is great at giving us the illusion of choice without making a huge difference in the end.  Like I mentioned before... not bringing Garrus to ME1 makes little difference in how he acts in ME2 outside of a few lines of dialog.  Lots of things are like that, like pick Ash or Kaidan on Virmire, and yes one is always gone, but 80% of the content is basically the same from there on out for either character.

There are games out now that do that choice better.  Pathfinder: Kingmaker is one I can think of.  Or Tyranny.  Things you choose can alter the endings of those games drastically, locking entire paths out of the game.  

I used to think that was what I wanted.  Until I played Kingmaker and locked myself out of things I really wanted without realizing it.  I stopped playing the game, sad that my LI dumped me and wouldn’t come back without reloading many, many hours worth of game.  Despite enjoying the game overall, I still haven’t gone back.  When I do play again, I’ll probably keep a lot of tabs open of walkthroughs and tips on how to keep things going how I want.  Kind of defeating the purpose of the game.

Anyway, I got super off track again.  The point is, Garrus is the companion that gives us the most Choice in who he is.  Which is cool.  He illustrates our Paragon vs Renegade dilemma.  And it’s neat that it does make changes in some of the things he says in the future, but overall, his story doesn’t change much no matter what you do (Unless you, ya know, get him killed in ME2).

And therein lies a problem with Mass Effect, and video games as a whole.  It’s neat to see the little changes, but it’s rare for anything to be an actual Big Change, because... that’s a loooot of work for a developer and how much more money is all that going to cost him.

At some point in the future I’ll point out how lucky we are for what we did get, though.

Heeeey it’s Chief Engineer Greg Adams!  I wonder how many people don’t even know he has a first name?  Anyway, thank you for your one short conversation in which you explain how the Normandy works (honestly, great job with explaining this, Bioware, even if the science is ???) and like three sentences on who you are.  Wasted opportunity to give you an actual character.  Glad you like Tali, though!  See you in ME3.

TALI!

Okay, I will totally accept that Shepard doesn’t know much past the basics of quarian society.  That makes a lot more sense than Shepards not knowing much about asari.  

The quarians are so much more of an original creation I feel like than a lot of what we’ve seen in the galaxy so far.  Krogan?  Basically Klingons.  Turians?  Space Romans. Asari?  Twilek/Space Elves but ALL Hot Ladies.  Qarians feel like something new though.

I mean, I guess before they had to live in suits they were pretty normal, but their entire culture doesn’t feel like something we’ve seen everyplace before.  I mean I’ve seen space (g-slur)  but, eh not really.  

And Tali herself is such a good character.  I mean, she does suffer a little from being Very Important with her father being one of five admirals in a population of six million people but, I’ll allow it.  Nobody else on the crew has Very Important Parents.  I mean Garrus’ father is a little high up in the ranks but that’s a non-factor, Ash’s grandfather was but he’s dead and never seen, Wrex’s father is a chieftan but none of those is central to their current story or as big as this one. I mean, Spacer Shep’s own mother is a captain of a ship.  Tali herself in-game isn’t that sexualized -- most of that was the fandom’s doing.  She’s young but also confident and has her shit together.  

She shoulda been a same-sex romance in ME2/3 though, damnit!

Joker. Is. Amazing. And uh, also shoulda been a romance option. 

Hey first of all, how great was it that they put in disabled representation in this game.  I have read a few posts on how it could have been better, and definitely agree, but it’s also been so important to have say, Geordi LaForge as chief engineer of the Enterprise and also Joker here, in space, being awesome on spaceships.  And he really earns his the right to his bravado in calling himself the best pilot in the galaxy.  

Also?  Casting Seth Green was such a great choice.  I couldn’t imagine Joker as anyone else.  I mean this is Bioware so we expect, and definitely got, great voice acting (except for... ugh you know, we’ll get there in ME3) but honestly Seth Green was a particularly good choice.  I don’t care that he’s covered with sixteen layers of plot armor, he deserves it.

He’s the companion that we don’t ever get to take in the squad.  (I mean, except for that brief amazing moment in ME2)

I only wish in ME1 he had as much to say as in ME2/3.  At least he gets cool snarky lines after all the major missions.

One last thing before we get off the ship for awhile, I love that the crew is actually comprised of both men AND women in ME1.  With different hairstyles and faces, and even skin tones.  It’s nice to see they didn’t just reuse the same guy over and over for the nameless NPCs.  

Well, I guess they get names in ME2. :v

Anyway, I would like to point out, that there are seventeen nameless NPCs on the Normandy.

Then there’s Adams, Tali, Garrus, Wrex, Ashley, Kaidan, Chakwas, Liara, Pressley, and Joker.

That’s twenty-seven people and eight sleep pods.  Let’s remove the aliens, who couldn’t fit in a sleep pod (Garrus and Wrex), twenty-five people.  Are there people sleeping in the sleep pods now?  There must be, right?  Everyone can’t be awake when we’re on the ship just because we’re there?  How does that math add up?  Who is sleeping where, HOW DOES IT WORK!?  

Well, that’s their problem. I got my own bed.  Kaidan can share.

Also just... don’t get me started on how stupid this is.  I mean it’s nice having a shop on the ship but... the justification is terrible.  We all know it.  He was counted as one of the 17 nameless, btw.

Okay well, I was going to get off the ship this update but this is already stupid long and honestly I don’t have too much more content to post so, I’m gonna go actually play this game!

[soysaucevictim]

Busy, busy, busy... also this post is hella long.

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Aug. 20

I woke up around 8AM today.

I was picked up by a new/different transport service than before. Got out there in a rush, because I didn’t get up at an ideal time.

Since I was earlier to the facility and bored before group, I decided to go into the TV Room and continue sorting the VHS cassettes. Felt productive, but worked up a little sweat going up and down.

Seeking Safety went alright. I did the DD afterwards, 30 raised leg push-ups with EC... twice. I mis-remembered it as 15/15, not alternating. Pffft. :P

Then I got a chance to replace my cell. Here’s to hoping it won’t be a giant headache. But it was a thing in the anxiety BG noise to deal with, and this was needed.

Got home, did some dishes, made dinner (a bit cranky, but I’m just tired), BS’D, and did the rest of my exercise.

First, Day 10 of the PO!C. 200 overhead punches, done in one go. I alternated sides with each rep. I started feeling it by the last ~50-100 reps.

Second, Day 10 of the CoSC. 2x40″ calf raise holds. Only rested ~10″. Doable, despite being overtired.

Last, Day 10 of the 30DoY. Nice upright/standing sequence. Love the tree pose, but I did get some awkward tension in my left ankle doing them. Might not’ve been as attentive of form for that, but still, good work!

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Aug. 21

I got up a bit after noon.

Did a bit of the usual stuff, overate and was groggy for a few hours. Was roped into playing more rummy with the family. (I won twice and grandma won once... wasn’t Dad’s day, it would seem.)

I then did my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 20 pop-up tripods with EC. Very fatiguing, especially the last half, taking a bit of digging deep to get through that! Ooof. :P

Second, Day 11 of the PO!C. 240 punches, bounce-switching every 20, and done in one go. Fun and breezy.

Third, Day 11 of the CoSC. 110 calf raises, split into 2x55. I believe I had to rest ~20″ in between. Doable, but tougher than throwing those punches!

Last, Day 11 of the 30DoY. Okay. I liked MOST of this sequence. Except TWO of the exercises. One being that hollow hold, because I never much cared for ‘em (neck strain). The OTHER was that SHOULDER STAND. Okay. The BIGGEST issue was space negotiation during the transitions (and the position of my computer, in relation to my body).

I knew I would have to do those with wall assist (did it one foot on wall at full extension). I have never done a handstand/etc before.

See how MOST of the positions have the legs splayed out at or near full extension (like that hollow hold)? That meant my upperbody was pretty damn far away from the wall. So I had to waste like 5-10″ just getting up to one.

And then I had to scramble toward getting to the fullest expression I could in ~5 more seconds. Which is hairy because you have to also mind how much pressure your head/neck is getting, during the 5-10″ left of the interval. It’s something I honestly don’t feel comfortable rushing to get into and out of. (Hell - it’s the reason I kinda swore off doing plows anymore.) orz

Now you have to lose ~5″ to getting down and extending into corpse pose. Which as a resting pose really feels hard to appreciate for only 10-15″, before repeating the sequence. :I

Now, If I COULD drop into said shoulder stand anywhere - a lot of that wouldn’t be an issue. Well, I’m glad I’ll only a have to do that one one more time in this program. And I think it’ll be way easier to negotiate from/to that knee hug before/afterwards.

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Aug. 22

I woke up a bit before 7:30AM, today.

Got to the facility and worked on a composition sketch for a new project, I’m working on. Also spent some time doodling some of that Kefka art I recently posted. That and I listened to music, leading up to my WRAP Group - which went well enough.

I then did the DD (and a bit of socialization), before leaving the facility. 40 raised leg circles, with EC. I did this one while I was out at the facility again. Glad I remembered correctly how many to do - because that was tough! :U

Had a minor confusion about home-bound transit - but that smoothed out pretty quick.

Got home, updated a transportation reservation for next week (tripping over my words because tired), made some business arrangements, gave the ears some TLC, before a small-ish break (with the usual stuff).

I also did the rest of my exercise, kinda late.

First, Day 12 of the PO!C. 240 overhead punches, done in one go. I decided to go for 120/120 today - and oof. Last 20-40 reps on each side did get pretty intense!

Second, Day 12 of the CoSC. 2x40″ calf raise holds. I basically paused 3-10″ between sets. Manageable.

Last, Day 12 of the 30DoY. 10′ meditation. Since I got a lot of things done today - I felt a bit less fidgety.

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Aug. 23

I woke up a bit after 11AM.

Did some more arrangements, poked the usual stuff, and did today’s DD (since today’s an active rest day, it’s the only exercise stuff I’m doing). 40 bridges with EC. This was very doable, but it did get more challenging near the end!

I then did some dishes, made some dinner, watched some Devilman Crybaby, while running some maintenance on my computer.

I needed to fix an issue involving my tablet settings- cursor disappearing on me intermittently. Blew a gasket until I figured what happened. Short of it, I think it was problems with Windows Ink.

But given I was frazzled and it was getting late. I didn’t get much else done.

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Aug. 24

I woke up a bit after 10AM.

One of the first things I got done was today’s exercises.

First, today’s DD. 40 plank rotations with EC. This was pretty intense, had a few moments where my center was a bit off. But I managed to keep it for the whole duration. :P

Second, Day 13 of the PO!C. 260 punches, done in one go. I hop-switched at every 20 punches. Very fun and doable.

Third, Day 13 of the CoSC. 120 calf raises, split into 2x60. Rested probably ~20” in between. A bit tough, but doable.

Last, Day 13 of the 30DoY. The sequence was alright, I just don’t think my head was properly in the game. Got my cues a bit mixed up and only managed to get in a few seconds for the dancer pose on right foot (non-dominant side) - struggled to get my center stable enough to hold the expression very long today. Ah well, that’s how it is sometimes.

Spent some time with the usual, afterwards, before getting a commission done. Will be posting that when I get the green light.

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Aug. 25

I woke up a bit before noon.

First, today’s DD. 2′ leg extensions (donkey kicks) with EC. I counted 83 reps by the time was up, and this was a fun exercise to do! :D

Second, Day 14 of the PO!C. 260 overhead punches, done in one go. I alternated with each punch and it did get pretty tough!

Third, Day 14 of the CoSC. 2x50″ calf raise holds. I rested about 10″ and this was pretty breezy still.

Last, Day 14 of the 30DoY. Oof, I had to make a few mods here. I think tiring my arms out from those overheads probably made things more challenging. I did the first upward dog proper - but after that I changed them out for cobras. Both push-up planks were sloppy - had to do the latter on my knees. Might have to do my punches AFTER plank-ish days like this one.

I then spent some time making some final touches/revisions on that commission (which I also just posted.) I did one pass through editing down the footage of me drawing it, too.

Remainder of night was spent on the usual.

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Aug. 26

I woke up a bit before 11AM.

Did a second and final pass through video editing, before posting that footage today.

I then did my exercises for the day.

First, today’s DD. 1′ bicep extensions with EC. I'm going to count 74 reps, may've done more but unsure if that was an over-count. Anyways - another fun exercise!

Second, Day 15 of the PO!C. 300 punches, done in one go, bounce-switching at every 20.

Third, Day 15 of the CoSC. 130 calf raises, split into 2x65. Was getting to feel that - but it wasn’t too bad.

(After a break and a shower...)

Last, Day 15 of the 30DoY. 10′ meditation. Not a lot to say about this other than I believe it was pretty calming.

I kinda went to bed a bit later than usual - I felt compelled to share with pops a few history/political things. Glad though, that he was receptive and curious about said subjects (even if we jumped from Iran, to China, to Helen Keller and Woodrow Wilson... of all things.)

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Aug. 27

I woke up a bit before 7:30AM.

Got to the facility, did the DD right away. 2′ palm strikes with EC. I got in 93 reps in the duration. The only thing that really hampered my pace was using my mp3 player as a timer, but it was no less fun! :D

Group went well enough. And I spent the rest of my time there doing some sketches and socializing (though, I admit I just didn’t get enough sleep and might not have been as great in communicating some stuff).

Once I got home and after I was able to put an order in for a bokken. Katana Week, here I come! (Well, after I’m done with current arrangements and the excitement is real!)

I was also roped into playing some cards. Dad won both games, which fair, since he didn’t win any the last time we played. Pffft!

I then spent a few on the usual, before getting in the rest of my exercise.

First, Day 16 of the PO!C. 300 overhead punches, split into 3x100. Rested ~20″ in between and alternated with each rep. A bit challenging, given my energy levels, but doable!

Second, Day 16 of the CoSC. 2x50″ calf raise holds. Rested only about 10″ again. Still very manageable.

Last, Day 16 of the 30DoY. I liked a good chunk of today’s sequence and felt generally good about my flow between each exercise (I loved the O, boat, and half lord of the fishes poses)! I did however pull a hamstring doing that single leg bridge variation - mostly because I felt to  shift the planted foots position while up. But I took care with the remaining exercises, sneaking a few moments to massage it when I could. I think we’re good!

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Aug. 28

I woke up around 11AM, today. I got my exercise in pretty early, too.

First, today’s DD. 40 modified scissors with EC. I rather like this version of scissors - feels better in the hips and generally more fun!

Second, Day 17 of the PO!C. 340 punches, in one go, bounce-switching kind of inconsistently due to lack of focus (20-40, I believe.) Nevertheless, a perennial favorite!

Third, Day 17 of the CoSC. 140 calf raises, split into 2x70. Still very manageable work!

Last, Day 17 of the 30DoY. I appreciated that this was a gentler practice, today. I did mod that upward dog into a cobra because I kinda wanted to keep it chill. But all in all - I enjoyed myself a lot! =w=

The only other particularly productive things I got done were cancelling a reservation), doing dishes, and making dinner for the family.

Other than that - yeah. Same old business.

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Aug. 29

I woke up around the same time as yesterday..

I determined that I would not be able to get to the facility, but did reschedule that appointment. Going to have to figure out my transportation stuff while some forms get dealt with. :/

After much of the usual, I did my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 2′ elbow clicks with EC. I counted 142 reps for the duration, but after the ~100 mark, elbows stopped being able to consistently make contact. The willpower game was real, but it was still fun!

Second, Day 18 of the PO!C. 340 overhead punches, split into 160+180.

Third, Day 18 of the CoSC. 2x1′ calf raise holds. I only dropped for ~5″ to reset the timer today. Very manageable!

Last, Day 18 of the 30DoY. 10′ meditation. My mind wandered to commission-related stuff. But I did try to stay focused on sensation of breath throughout the session.

I think I’m going to draw today, barring further distractions.

(Okay... I need to actually post this damn thing already.)

[goblinunderthebridge]

If you don’t mind, I’d like to share the results of a spell with you. It just worked so well, I can’t keep it to myself. This is the first time one of my spells has worked out better than I expected, and it’s all because of the pattern interrupt I underwent a little over a month ago.

This was more than changing my routine--I literally changed my whole life. I escaped my toxic home life and my small town and moved to the city. I cut off communication with my parents entirely. Most of the changes that occurred were of my own accord, but a few happened on their own. I lost all of my friends, all at the same time. The dog I’d had since I was five years old passed away. I was completely alone, and at the time, I thought I was worse off than when I was back home. I didn’t get it. My spirit guides were sending me all the right signs. Had I missed something? Was all of this a bad omen?

I contemplated going back home, as embarrassing as that would be. I couldn’t stand the idea anyone telling me “I told you so”, and the thought of their smug faces made my stomach churn. But things just kept getting worse. I couldn't even leave my shit job because nobody would hire me. I found myself sitting and staring at walls for hours, my depression brewing at an alarming rate. I was putting out so much negative energy into the universe that it was only attracting more.

That all has changed, though. I met a new friend, one that makes me so unbelievably happy. He was brought to me in my time of need to get me out of my depression and spiritual slump. Since then, I’ve been thinking much more positive thoughts, and those have manifested into opportunities for me. I’ve gotten three, yes THREE job offers. One I didn’t even apply for! Which brings me to the news of my spell.

It was a job spell, one I wrote myself. I had already gotten two interviews and a follow-up scheduled for a few days later. I wanted to really ensure that I would get one of these jobs, so I did a fire spell on the full moon. The energy was incredible, and I was completely blown away as this was the first ritual I’ve performed in my new apartment. The difference between casting in a negative environment versus a positive one is astonishing. It gave me this amazing sense of euphoria that I’ve never felt before.

Two days later, I had my follow up interview. It went swimmingly, and they said they would send me a link to a bg check so they could “officially offer me the job”. As I walked out, I was silently cheering. The spell had worked, and I thought that was its full affect. Holy shit was I wrong.

I walked into my grandma’s work to tell her the good news and immediately got offered a job there. I hadn’t even applied or shown interest in working there. I didn’t even think I could because I had no front-desk experience and my grandma works there. But they offered it to me and said they’d be willing to work around my schedule at the other job I was offered. I’ve decided to work part time at both of those place, and in doing this, I’ll be making bank. Not to mention, I’ll be happy. Both places are incredibly chill work environments, which is exactly what I was looking for.

So not only did my spell work well, it went above and beyond. This goes to show how thought creates. I’ve been reading the book Practical Prosperity Magick by Ellen Dugan, a witchy author from my home state. She talks a lot about the 7 Hermetic Principals and the Law of Attraction  when it comes to prosperity and success. This spell is proof of that. You are in control of your life, and your thoughts and attitude dictate what comes your way. If you have negative thoughts, you will attract negativity. if you have positive thoughts, you will attract positivity. Thank you for letting me share this experience with you!

[skylain]

85 question tag CAN I GET A HELL YEAH?! Tagged by The Ice Cream Man aka @theeyeofdarkness​

what was your last:

1. drink: Water with fruit punch Crystal Light

2. phone call: My grandparents

3. text message: My SUPER Special DnD Group!

4. song you listened to: My vaporwave version of the Toy Story 2 Video Game OST, namely the song “Mean Screen”

5. time you cried: Like, two night ago I think?  It was because of the Willy Wonka documentary I watched and some of the stuff Gene Wilder said was just... ;_; 

have you ever:

6. dated someone twice: Indeed

7. kissed someone and regretted it: Kinda

8. been cheated on: Unfortunately

9. lost someone special: Definitely

10. been depressed: For nearly 10 years now!

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Once, on Halloween of 2016.  Didn’t enjoy myself

3 favorite colors:

12. Blue

13. Black

14. Red

in the last year have you:

15. made new friends: Fuck yeah!

16. fallen out of love: Not at all, much the opposite

17. laughed until you cried: As often as possible

18. found out someone was talking about you: Yeah, that was a debacle

19. met someone who changed you: Most certainly

20. found out who your friends are: Undoubtedly 

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: One person, and one only

general:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Nearly all of them, the ones that I don’t know personally are musicians or film directors 

23. do you have any pets: Yes and no.  None at my home, but I count the cats my grandparents own as mine...Scotty, BG (Beautiful Girl) and Namine.

24. do you want to change your name: I do like Mike a good bit, but I wouldn’t mind actually being Sora.  Would love to change my last name to Kairi’s last name though, should things work out between us

25. what did you do for your last birthday: Kairi took me out to Texas De Brazil, bought me my first legal drink, and then we went home and snuggled

26. what time did you wake up: 3PM because I am useless to society

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Smoking a bowl, I think

28. name something you can’t wait for: For the universe to realign in my favor...and bring myself and Kairi back together

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: 3 hours ago, before she went to bed

31. what are you listening to right now: The sound of the fan in my room

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Multiple, indeed, my father was named Tom!

33. something that is getting on your nerves: THIS FUCKING COLD I HAVE RIGHT NOW WHAT THE FUCK

34. most visited website: YouTube/Tumblr

35. hair colour: Red and Blue/Green

36. long or short hair: short

39. piercings: hate needles

40. blood type: A-Negative.  What are you, The Red Cross?  I’ve donated plenty of times, leave me alone, you vampires! ;-;

41. nicknames: Sora, Kenshin, Big Skillet, Speed Racer

42. relationship status: Single

43. zodiac: Capricorn

44. pronouns: He/him

45. favourite tv show: Chopped

46. tattoos: Needles are scary.  BUT I will definitely get a KH tattoo, and many others one day!

47. right or left handed: Right

48. surgery: Ahah, yeah...when I was 15...I had a testicular torsion...so I had to have surgery...on my balls...

49. piercing: You have already asked this

50. sport: Used to train in Taekwondo throughout high school, earned black belt

51. vacation: Yiss Japan!

52. pair of trainers: Yeah one pair of those for when I MUST wear them, but I tend to go barefoot! ^.^

more general:

53. eating: Just finished some chicken wings

54. drinking: Gonna get me some water

55. i’m about to: Get some Cheerios and watch more YouTube

56. waiting for: the end to come, wishing I had strength to stand, this is not what I had planned...it’s out of my control.  (Thanks Linkin Park)

57. want: Too much to list

58. get married: Indeed, one day

59. career: Film producer!

which is better:

60. hugs or kisses: There is no choice.  Both.

61. lips or eyes: Eyes

62. shorter or taller: Doesn’t matter

63. older or younger: Never really gave thought, since Kairi and me were together for four years (and will continue one day soon?)  But within reasonable proximity, I guess.

64. nice arms or nice stomach: Que?

65. hook up or relationship: Relationship, my mans

66. troublemaker or hesitant: Depends

have you ever:

67. kissed a stranger: Aye

68. drank hard liquor: Prefer it to beer, honestly

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Don’t wear contacts, and my glasses are only for driving, so I don’t think so

70. turned someone down: Yep

71. sex on the first date: No sir

72. broken someone’s heart: I believe so

73. had your heart broken: Oh yes

74. been arrested: Maybe...

75. cried when someone died: Oh yes

76. fallen for a friend: Ahah, yep

do you believe in:

77. yourself: After a time...yes, yes I do

78. miracles: you sexy thing

79. love at first sight: In a way, yes and no.  The term implies full on love, I think that’s too much.  But there is such a thing is being utterly spellbound by someone the moment you lay eyes on them

80. santa claus: You’re god damn right I do

81. kiss on the first date: Situation

82. angels: In human form, certainly

other:

83. current best friend’s name: Don, Kelly, Zach

84. eye colour: Brown like mud!

85. favourite movie: Mr. Nobody (Extended edition of course!)

Gonna tag my boy @waffle--kun and anybody else who’d be down to slog through 85 of these lovely questions!

[benedictgolde]

Questionable Places I’ve Slept

Day 10

It’s that oh so lovely day of the week again - rest day. Rest day, I hate you. Essential but I’d rather be out running. It’s okay, my girlfriend and I have a substantial walk planned this afternoon and a bit of retail therapy to take my mind away from the lack of endorphin. Also, I’ve started recording a song that I plan on releasing for next week’s upload. Exciting times. 

Last week I posted “My Greatest Story” and I thought that, seeing as on my rest day I get that little bit longer to write the post, I would delve into some of the other life stories that I think are worth telling. 

Being in Ghouls has come with its rewards, despite it being the aim to take it as far as we can, it still feels surreal to think that playing music has taken us to the US twice (3 times if you include the tour in a couple of weeks), Europe countless times and more recently, Australia! That said, it hasn’t come without it’s hardships and through the years we have done some pretty hilarious D.I.Y tours. Despite the romanticism behind the idea of 'being on the road’, ‘living out the van’ and ‘sleeping on floors’ - it can get pretty grim. These days, I’m all about the Air B’n’B lifestyle. An athlete has to look after himself.

(Looking Hench in Baltimore, ML, USA - October 2016) 

So, in no particular order, here are some of the more hilarious and questionable places we’ve had the pleasure of calling a ‘bed’ for the night:

1. Paris, France - July 2012. “A student hall’s fire escape”.  This was the first time the band went abroad. We were young and nothing like the band we are now and even had a few different members. Young and ready for anything, we had a call from a friend in another band who said there was a last minute support slot open for a gig in Paris, that was the very next day! I don’t really know what we were thinking, being the naive youth we were, we booked the Megabus for the following morning headed direct for Paris. 

We had no plan for accommodation other than “We’ll find somewhere”. The show was quiet but we were high on life. As if we were in Paris to play a show, with 24 hours notice. As the night came to a draw, we gathered on the banks of the river Seine with no idea as to where we were going to sleep. Our drummer of that time, suddenly appeared with two very nervous looking students who had agreed that we could stay in the fire escape of their halls building. Despite their suspicious glances to one another, our hosts were very kind to us and gave us an assortment of french snacks to go with our fire escape dwellings. It was literally a spiral staircase that ran the back side of a tall building in central Paris. Made to, quite literally, escape a fire - not ideal for the 7 of us that were there but I don’t recall it being a bad sleep. 

(Early Ghouls, this is from 2012 - I know, who are those people?!)

2. Sheffield, UK - August 2013. “An old lady’s Marijuana horde”.  In the summer of 2013, we all happened to have the whole month of August off. We were trying to raise funds to record our first album through a crowd funded campaign - seizing the opportunity of the time off, we booked ourselves a whole month’s tour, 30 days long, to help raise these funds. The tour was called the “Can We Crash At Yours Tour” and, we did just that. Played a show almost every night with nowhere booked to stay, hoping someone would be kind enough to let us “crash” at theirs. It actually went surprisingly well and plenty of lovely people gave up their sitting rooms and sofas for a bunch of over-excited musicians. 

There were, however, a few nights on that tour in which the crowd at the shows weren’t, let say, the ideal band-friendly-stay-at-mine-and-we’ll-make-breakfast tomorrow dream that we’d had in our minds. There was one night in particular, about mid-way through the tour, in Sheffield. We’d played what I recall as being a sort of pub/venue, announcing on stage that we needed a place to crash. A slightly haggard old woman came forward and said we’d be more than welcome to sleep in her living room. 

Upon arriving at the flat above a kebab shop in the Sheffield suburbs, we were greeted with the distinct smell of cannabis. It didn’t take long to see why, there were nuggets of weed everywhere! On the shelves, on top of the toilet, down the sides of the sofa, in jars in the kitchen, everywhere you can think of - weed nuggets. She immediately lit a joint as soon as we got there and started rambling about how she didn’t need ‘nout but a coffee and a spliff” to be happy. 

I don’t smoke weed, nor do I have any interest in it - it’s not something I frown upon or judge people for, but that night I had to endure a good 6/7 hours of second hand stench - I definitely woke up questioning why some lamp shades are spherical. 

3. Greensboro, NC, USA - October 2016. “Tap-out wherever, dude”.

I think this might be one of the worse nights sleep I’ve ever had, made worse because we were trapped in a foreign country with no alternative. When we’re in the UK, we know we’re never that far from somewhere we know - a friend or relatives house. Even in Europe now, we know enough people that I’d feel we could get ourselves out of a sticky situation. Plus, we’re all working adults now, so we usually book accommodation - #DIYbutwithhotels. However, this was our first time in the USA and touring somewhere unfamiliar on a budget for the first time always comes with a few hairy situations.

We played a show in Greensboro, North Carolina, mid-week in a pizza/dive bar style place. It was empty except for a couple of pizza bros who looked as though they’d have had a great time at the flat in Sheffield. Our host was a gentleman called Graham, who was playing in another band. Once the gig finished, which was a lot later than we’d expected due to Graham’s band not conforming to the conventional 3-minute song standard and instead opting for 12/15minute epics (which weren’t epic, to say the least). We headed to Graham’s place, detouring via a gas station due to Graham and his fellow band mates having the “munchies”. 

We arrived at Grahams “pad”, which reminded me of the scene when Marty McFly goes back to the future, to his neighbourhood and Biff has taken over. Once inside the house, we were greeted by a room in which there was one sofa, a floor that had never seen a vacuum, and a man sat as close to a television as you can possibly get, playing Call of Duty. He was yelling his head off, down a head set at fellow online players in a thick southern American accent. Graham’s words were “just tap-out wherever guys”. We were about a week into what had already been a hectic tour, I was fresh off the back of my Brooklyn Half Marathon win, “tapping out” was never going to happen with our friend Cliff, the gentleman yelling at the screen, in that room. Also, where exactly were we supposed to ‘tap out’. Graham said we were welcome to the “sofa in the yard” - which was an old sofa in his garden. I decided to opt for sleeping in our rented Nissan Quest, which was full of gear. 

I managed to clear a space just big enough for me, tucked into the fetal position and just preyed that the night pass by. Several hours later, we woke up, hurried our way out of there and sought refuge in a nearby iHop. Saved by pancakes. 

(The infamous Nissan Quest. I drove this 3,333 miles down the east coast of the USA)

I’ll leave it at that for now. There is more to tell but I have to go out and get some clothes. Day 10 of 30 on the daily blog. I am seriously considering to keep this going beyond 30 days and may even purchase a website domain as incentive. If anybody has any advice on web hosting for bloggers then please let me know. 

Peace & love y’all. BG