#i get its supposed yo be a power move like “yeah im so relaxed talking to my sworn enemy”

[giantenemyrobot]

WHY'D HE SIT LIKE THAT

SIR you are NOT beating the gay allegations !!

[tooweirdforyou]

Straw Hats With A Devil Fruit User! Shipmate

A/N : More Platonic! Straw Hats interaction :)

Okay, so I’m going to assume Tumblr hates me because it keeps not saving any of my work?

Summary : Straw Hats with a shipmate who has a devil fruit, who falls overboard whilst on the ship.

How did you get into this mess?

Here you were, in the middle of the ship, surrounded by the worried looks of your crew mates as you continued to cough up the sea water.

You were drenched from head-to-toe, currently on your knees and pounding your chest to get out all the water you swallowed.

Zoro, Sanji and Brook was beside you, also drenched completely, and was panting heavily after having just jumped in the ocean to save you from drowning, with Brook actually collapsed on the deck.

Luffy was in front of you, crying and freaking out that he almost lost you because of him.

You could only listen silently, thinking back on the series of events that had happened just minutes prior.

-

“You guys, please calm down, you’re going to fall off the ship soon! Luffy!”

Ignoring your words, Usopp, Chopper and Luffy continued to run around mindlessly, yelling and laughing loudly as they did.

“Let then be, [Name]. There’s no stopping their chaos at this point..” Nami mumbles defeatedly, clearly feeling exhausted as she rubs her temples from the upper deck.

“Yohohoho!~ so lively today, aren’t they?” Brook chuckles, sitting against the mast as he sipped his cup of tea. 

Robin beside him, reading a book whilst also drinking some tea. “Yes, they sure are quite a trio.”

“Two of them are devil fruit users though, if they’re not more careful, they’ll end up shoving one another into the water. Or worse, shoving one of us into the water.” You point out, feeling a headache forming as you exhale heavily.

“And I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not looking forward to getting wet, nor having to fish them out.” You add, now crossing your arms as you stood off to the side by the railing, still watching Luffy screaming and laughing with Chopper and Usopp. “Not that I’ll be able to go in after them.”

"Don't tell me your afraid of a little water?"

Hearing the familiar voice, you turn over to see the green-haired male sitting against the tree with his arms crossed and swords at his side.

Your brow twitches at him, narrowing your eyes as you huffed heavily at him.

Zoro's voice clearly laced a bit of a mocking tone to it, him opening his one eye to glance to you, a small smirk tugging at his lips.

"Shut it, you stupid swordsman! I'm not afraid, but unlike you non-devil fruit users, I can't swim if I tried! I’ll drown!" You scowl, pointing at Zoro who just laughs at you.

"Don't worry, my dear [Name]-chan~ I WILL GLADLY JUMP IN AND SAVE YOU!~" Sanji sang with hearts in his eyes, swooning from where he was, currently setting down a fresh pot of tea for Brook and Robin.

You only sigh softly at him and smile lightly, shaking your head at him before turning to the loud trio.

“Tag, you’re it! Haha!” Usopp shouts, finally reaching Luffy who gasps before grinning and stretching his arms all over the deck.

Emerging from below deck, Franky climbs up from the trap-door and smiles widely. “Oi, Luffy! Want to see my newest addition to my body?”

Stopping midway from chasing Usopp, Luffy stops and turns over to Franky with wide eyes. “Ooh, yeah! What is it?!”

As Franky finally got up from the ladder and closed the trap-door, Usopp shouts excitedly. “Wait, I wanna see too, Franky!”

“Yeah, let us see!” Chopper eagerly nods, going after Usopp to see too.

Franky nods, chortling loudly as he began heading to the center of the deck, Usopp, Chopper and Luffy following and stood in front of him, behind them at a distance was the railing.

The others glance over with a bit of curiosity, just wanting to see what Franky had to show.

You did the same, wondering if it was a gimmick he made for himself or if it would be useful in battle.

“I made this especially to defend and attack enemies in battle. You ready?!” Franky shouts, extending his arms out wide.

“AYE!” The trio shouts in unison after, all looking in anticipation and excitement.

“Alright!” Franky’s torso opened a hatch and a hole was seen. A few seconds of silence overtook the air before he spoke. 

“Franky... HUMAN BLOWDRYER!”

... What?

Just like it sounded, a large gust of warm air started to blow out from the hole in Franky’s chest and straight at the trio.

The wind wasn’t too strong, but it was strong enough to have their clothes and lips flapping and blowing from the air.

Y’know, how the lips start moving and flapping when anime characters are moving too fast or wind is blowing too hard-

You could only stare from before in disbelief, unable to comprehend exactly what was happening.

The others sweatdropped at the sight, the anti-climatic feeling washing over them as they stare the scene before them.

Once Franky turned off the blowdryer in his torso, it was silent for a moment. Before the trio screamed out in awe.

“SO COOLL!~ ✨” the trio awes.

Franky laughs aloud at their reactions while you just exhale at them. “Awesome right?! It’s my SUUPPERRR~ HUMAN BLOWDRYER!”

“Wow.” The others thought together.

“Franky..” you began heading towards the cyborg as Usopp and Chopper went off to the side, clearly still excited but had their fun.

“How is exactly that supposed to be helpful to us in battle..?” You mumble, furrowing your brows as Franky hums at you.

“What’re you talking about? This would definitely be useful! I could blow off any dust or dirt on you guys and since this new addition is equipped with different power levels too, I can blow all our enemies away as we escape.” Franky explains, gesturing to his torso.

You glance inside the hole and notice the little knob that you could turn and saw the many numbered levels and nod in realization.

“Hm.. I guess it could be handy at some point..” you mumble, standing back up straight and began heading to the railing, just as Luffy was heading towards Franky.

“Plus, I could dry you guys off after a shower.” Franky adds, almost as if trying to convince you that it was indeed useful.

Nami’s eyebrow twitched at Franky’s insinuation, misinterpreting his meaning behind his words.

Luffy just grins widely. “What do you mean, [Name]? This is awesome! Hey Franky, do your high power level on me!”

You only sigh and lean against the railing, shaking your head. “Right.”

“Er.. are you sure? That highest power level isn’t meant to be used on humans. I only added it because-“ Despite Franky protesting against the idea, Luffy wasn’t listening.

“Come on! It’ll be fine, just do it!” Luffy insists and Usopp furrows his brows.

“I don’t know, Luffy. The wind that was blowing against us just now was already pretty strong. Just imagine what the highest power level would be.”

You weren’t paying attention anymore, just trying to relax in the fresh air as you glance down at the ocean, leaning against the railing. Directly behind you was Luffy in front of Franky’s Blowdryer.

“Stop worrying, I’ll be fineee! Just turn it on, Franky!”

If only you knew what was going to occur behind you.

Franky, after a little bit of reluctance, finally agreed. “Alright, hold on to something then.” With that, Franky turned the knob to its most powerful setting and began to activitate his newest power.

“Franky..”

“WAIT, FRANKY!-“ the others finally noticed that you were directly in line of Franky’s Blowdryer but before Franky could stop it, it had already begun.

“...MAXIMUM HUMAN BLOWDRYER!”

The immense air pressure knocked Luffy back, making him collide right into your unknown figure and pushed you right overboard, Luffy following after but held on by the railing of the ship.

He hadn’t even realize he knocked you over as well until he heard the splashing of the ocean.

“[NAME]!” Each of the crew members widen their eyes in shock as Zoro clicks his tongue and quickly stood up, running over to the edge and jumped into the ocean after.

Sanji immediately did the same, and after screaming in horror and fear, Brook instinctively ran after and jumped in as well.

“Hey, BROOK!”

You didn’t even have time to process what just happened as you try to rise to the surface, only to fail because well, you had devil fruit powers.

“[Name], Brook!” Luffy shouts, still holding onto the railing as he pulls himself up and then leans down from it to see if Zoro was pulling you up or not.

Luckily, Zoro was quick and was now holding onto you tightly, pulling you by his side as he glances up.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” He shouts from below towards Luffy.

Sanji rises to the top, kicking below him to float as he drags Brook up to surface as well. “Oi, you idiot! Did you forget you have devil fruit powers too?!”

Brook didn’t answer, feeling drowsy and exhausted from the water.

“Hang on, we’ll get you guys in!” Nami calls, as her and Usopp began heading down below deck to open one of the gates and pull you in with the raft they had.

You grunted a bit in pain, closing your eyes and coughing roughly as you did your best to cling onto Zoro.

“Oi, you okay? When I asked you if you were afraid of water, it wasn’t a sign for you to challenge me and jump overboard.” Zoro jokes a bit, glancing down at you as he held you up above the water.

“Tch... you jerk.. not like I wanted to go overboard..” you tiredly mutter, making Zoro chuckle lightly. He couldn’t help the small smile forming on his lips, glad to see you were okay.

“Put them on!” Nami calls, letting the waves guide the raft out and Sanji pulls it closer towards him. He tosses Brook on board, making the skeleton grunt and shout out the best he could. “You could be a bit more gentle!”

“Shut up! Oi, put [Name]-chan on, you marimo.” Sanji watched as Zoro swims closer to the raft and helps him put you on.

“Shut up, you stupid cook. They’re on!” Zoro calls and Nami, Usopp and Chopper began pulling the raft in, Zoro and Sanji swimming towards the ship after them.

-

So that’s what led to where you were now.

“IM SORRY [NAME]! WE ALMOST LOST YOU! I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOU BUT FRANKY’S NEW POWER WAS SO COOL AND I WANTED TO SEE IT AT ITS FULL POWER BUT IT KNOCKED YOU OVER AND WE ALMOST—“ Luffy’s shouts were cut off with Nami’s punch to his head.

“SHUT UP! Instead of crying and freaking out, just get them something to warm them up or something! And we already warned you it was a bad idea but you didn’t listen!” Nami scolds, Luffy whining at the unnecessary punch, rubbing his head.

Usopp and Robin sighs at their antics, just glad that you and Brook were okay.

Chopper brought out some blankets and his stethoscope, making you lay down to check if you had any injuries, since Luffy collided into you pretty roughly.

“I’m fine.. Chopper. Thank you.” You smile weakly to the little reindeer, who only frowns. “Just let me check real quick, [Name].”

Franky looks to you and frowns himself. “Sorry, [Name]. I should’ve seen you and shouldn’t have done it, regardless of Luffy’s persistence.”

“I’m fine, Franky. Plus, you’re right. That’s quite a powerful move that’ll help us in battle, I’m sure.” You assure, a genuine small smile on your lips.

Franky tears up at your kind words. “Ahhh, how SUUPERR~ sweet of you, [Name]!” He cries out, making you sweatdrop as you rub your sore throat a bit.

Chopper noticed and quickly left to get you some water. You glance to Zoro and Sanji and sigh. “Thanks, you two.” Zoro only nods dismissively as Sanji swoons. “Of course, [Name]-chan~!”

You stare at Brook, looking at his lifeless skeleton and smiled softly before turning to Luffy’s teary face and close your eyes.

Why you were in such a chaotic crew, you didn’t know.

Would you ever leave? Never. You loved your Straw Hat family too much. You were home.

-

I hope you enjoyed this! :)

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Malcolm is a bastard and all but hr still treats me like his kid sister

So sometimes when we would be working i would get hit in the chest like because i have a very generous, vulnerable, valuable and damaged heart... And it would feel like a heart attack was coming

And I would tell him "Jesse you are a very bad man" and he would say "who? Where?" And i would say "were you going to eat lunch in the NW corner today? Because there is a very good person sitting there and you're not allowed. Mean ass mother fucker and in fact you dont get lunch! There how's that?!"

So I would tell him NW from us was a person and they were smoking or chewing gum or tobacco or talking a lot or singing ... Usually a combo of using his hands and mouth. And i would say what he was eating... If was wearing a green shirt it was an avocado because bananas were both yellow and green and black and apples are red, green. Yellow and bruised. Yellow was lemons and ice tea. Blue was ice. Once there was one with a pale blue like coast guard dress shirt and then he had a real raspy voice. So i said "hey bad man you having a lunch of raspberries near the parking lot just standing around like you usually do?"

Then because we were working for months in the same location, the next day he would eat lunch how i had described.

Mine was for my health or i would end up in the hospital and it would be big drama.

But if y'all need some kind of code... Here's a helpful system.

I had panicked the first time and it all came out in a flow and not in correct words but it worked So we developed it from there.

The very first time i had asked Jesse his opinion and I panicked and had a minor heart attack So Jesse said we had to take command of my feelings and emotions to take my power back.

And so taking away from him.. That worked. And I didn't do the correct directions, I used the Brooklyn bridge as North which was South on a real map so and i did West totally wrong but i was saying that he had a gun like in Wild West.

He had been sitting behind me under a tree and caught me off guard. Idk about you but i don't want no dude sitting and all relaxing behind me with a gun so he's completely chill when he decides to shoot us all. Me first. So Jesse ran over and attacked him, rolled him into the street and pulled his own gun on him that he has pulled out when he tackled him. Years of football had paid off for me.

The raspberries guy he had been there just the day before asking me about my parents an all this and that and so i told,him,my dad was in the military. About my dad. And asked him,why and he was all no reason and then he was all "dont they wear... Like the marines but totally different?"

"At times"

"Idk i can get all that but we will see" idk why he said that out loud

Nd I said "excuse me?"

"Oh I was sent here to protect you. I'll be back tomorrow oh about noon. If someone comes at 3. Don't trust them"

He came at 3. Like a fool

"Sorry I'm late. They had this whole intersection blocked off and wouldn't let anyone out of their cars. They blocked me in. Weird huh. They gave me $50 tho. Anyway we are here. Where should we stand"

"Over there somewhere. Idk. Sure thing I'll be back. Here watch this"

"Oh okay ill go over there then"

"No the table"

"Oh it will be fine"

So he was an imposter had haggled me for answers the day before that he should had known had he been hired by someone that knew me. I had talked to Steve finally that morning, i wouldn't go downstairs until i did. And he said "don't believe him. I'll see what i can do. No one is supposed to ask you anything in fact they're supposed to be invisible. It's the CIA, you recall? Its just Like the FBI but more dangerous yo bad people. You'll be alright. I'll put in a call. You stay put. I'll call right back"

And so they made it so he came at 3.

So Jesse told them we had our own security

He lied and said i hired him

Which i did no such thing

So i grabbed the nail gun off the counter being made and stood my ground, legs spread, the red laser on his mid chest.

"Oh that's not going to do anything! The nail is just gonna fall"

I saw the burgundy Mazda he arrived in. So i flattened his right back tire. And looked at him

"My car!!! Well now how am i gonna leave little missy?"

"Like fast!!" And i shot at his back window until it shattered "1. Two. 3. Four. That do you? You were told. And you need to leave you told me yourself anyone coming at 3 is evil! Now go!" Man they were stupid. I shot them in the foot. Leg and multiple times in the ass cheeks while they ran and the raspy voice in the neck. He later died of his injuries.

I shot his trunk up so much it broke the latch and another guy down the end of the block jumped in and pulled it lower.

The cops came the next day to question me.

I said "idk -- it was the nail gun. I sorta blacked out so I don't recall everything exactly"

So while he was examining it Jesse unplugged it. Amd walked over and spoke quietly to him

"Why didn't you just tell him the truth?"

'I did"

....

The fat raspy guy died because i aimed for his bald spot with the laser Jesse told me Because i was laughing and told him "watch this" after I popped open the trunk

So they got in the car and the alarm was blaring and most everyone had hit the deck when i started shooting because the alarm went off at the tire and the guy kept turning it off with his key charm and Jesse yelled "you're all in danger. Hit the deck! Get down!"

So in the car the guy reached back and pulled that nail out the back of his head and blood sprayed out and all over the car like a water fall and was dripping off the back window edge. "Now how's that for Jesus?" I had said, blew the tip of the nail gun off. Yelled "okay everyone back to work!" And sat down at my post like there wasn't some dude crawling out the trunk trying to move the fatish man so they could take off.

Jesse brought me the nail gun for safe keeping and necessary use. "But don't they need it?"

"Look ain't no one gonna be working at least not yet. Go on go look what's going on in the street that littl3 dude in the right uniform is all covered in,blood"

"Oh yeah he ain't been shot yet." Jesse started to laugh. I went to the sidewalk and yelled "I SAID MOVE!"

And he said "can't you see im trying?!!?" So i shot him in the right knee cap. Without turning on the laser.

"Don't talk back! I ain't the child here." I turned my head and shoulders but not the gun towards my workers "and i told all of you to get back to work!!"

They all in chorus said "no!" And ducked. And I laughed

"I'm kidding! I'm kidding! The safety is on!"

A little 3 year old girl picked up a cordless drill near her and her older brother took off running after yelling a loud "NO!" And he took it from her and she said all cute and quiet "why not? I want to kill!"

"Not trying to be a spoil sport but I'm taking her inside!"

She was so dam cute too she wasn't taller than th3 cabinet and all I saw was the drill coming off the top of it. She was mighty strong to keep hold of it.

Little Gremlin Child i called her after. I could see her pig tails after it was down but i thought an adult next to her had grabbed it. Not that she was standing there as an Army of One.

She told me later "i was an Army of Two. I was right there with you. I knew what to do. Shoot. Pew. Pew. Pew."

...

......

....

Unfortunately our beauty was killed about 10 years later in a drive by, protecting the neighborhood children, using her body to shield them while visiting a friend out in Compton, California, USA.

God Bless her and let's take a moment for her.

Laquisha Antuana Jefferson.

My only partner in an Army of Two.

And his family should know he's dying in,the next 30 minutres. It's 7:05 pm in Compton.

I hope all his dreams and wishes go unanswered and he goes straight to hell and it hurts him. There will be no funeral. We will destroy his body ourselves. He doesn't deserve a funeral.

He's a "perfect citizen" he's a cop. He joined after killing my baby. And not to make the streets safer.

All lives matter. Remember that.

[minecraftgender]

current list of all alters

oh lord here we go: Luna: Hello! Im Luna! Normally I talk with a semicolon (;) before what I say. I'm 37 years old (my birthday is April 8) and I've really been around for about four years. I formed in the summer of 2014. I pretended to be an imaginary friend for the longest time up until late February. I'm the mother of our system along with a few others. I really don't have much to say about myself other than that. Oh also I'm pregnant and due in October. Jason: hey im jason im a protector or some shit. idk i like popcorn and homestuck. im 17 i guess my birthday is december 6 because im a fucking homestuck. i formed in late february by being an asshole and yelling at jade because he hates himself. im married to john egbert. woo. oh and addie (theyll be mentioned a lot) is my moirail. i type with a comma (,) before i say anything Lily: HI IM LILY!!!!! im 11 so shut the fuck up!!!!!! i can move up ages if i want. i formed in early march i think but i dont remember exactly when. i like cake and cats and jade and i wanna be just like him!! sometimes i draw!!! oh and my birthday is july 20 just like jade!!!!! im gonna be 12 soon!!!!!!!!! jades best friend addie is my mama and luna is my mom and other people are more moms!!L i have a lot of moms!!!!!!! I TYPE WITH A CLOSING PARENTHISIS LIKE THIS ) Jake: hi im jake. im 14. ill be 15 next march 18th, which is the day i formed. i think i have autism and my special interest is dogs. jades best friend addie is my mom too. i like the color purple, slime and rivers. i have 25 dogs. i really dont know what else to say about myself. i use an equal sign before i say stuff (=). im one of the tallest people in the system because im 6'4" tall. Ruby: hey im ruby im jades old imaginary friend. im 17, ill be 18 on halloween. i just kina appeared in here, its cool. i like minecraft and my little pony. idk im kinda just here and i sleep a lot and i use a question mark (?) Grey: hi there im Grey. i dont really do much in here, just play board games with aradia. i can also tell the future somewhat. really only if it pertains to jade. im 15 and i dont have a birthday since i dont really care about it. i type with an underscore (_). im really not that interesting. uhhhhh i got vored once and it wasnt fun. Emily: we really dont know much about her since she sleeps a lot. we do know that shes 20 years old. she only ever wakes up if im highly anxious. we think shes a survial alter if the rest of us are gone shell be there. shes super sweet tho. Becquerel: Hello, I'm Becquerel, yes the dog from Homestuck. I dont really do much except cuddle with those that want it and protect everyone. I have my old powers, so I can teleport our headspace out of technical existence and such. And still fetch bullets hehe. I was pulled out of a successful timeline though I don't think it was the alpha one. I use a carat (^) to type. I was given a collar that allows me to speak. I like it a lot! [you know, like Up] Rose: Hello, I'm Rose Lalonde-Maryam. I tend to not care about capitalization anymore, I have completely given up on it with this damned device. I'm married to and having a child with Kanaya. She and I are both dating the host Jade. I'm the other mother of this system. I also deal with children when the body has to. I and the others are 22 this year. I have vague memories of the game and all that but Jade needs to hurry up and finish the comic so I can remember the rest. I type using the rose emoji (🌹). John: hey! its your local tricky boy john egbert! i got tossed in here from the same timeline as rose and the others. i am just regular old john! i hang out in here and fight if i need to. i married jason a fee months ago. i type with a hammer emoji (🔨) Dave: its ya boi. anyway im the local fucking rap god. fergalicious, my neck my back, and deepthroat are my theme songs. im dating karkat, hes cute as fuck. i man the tunes in here [he plays fergalicious on repeat]. its lit fuckers. anyway i type with the sunglasses emoji (🕶) that doesnt show up on android. peace. Jade: hi im jade!!!! i used to be jadesprite but i was sad soooooo i got changed to normal dog tier me! i come from a tl where i still have bec powers after i finish the game too which is cool!!! i hang out with Bec and garden by the river! i type with a dog emoji before my sentences (🐶)!!! Roxy: heeeeeyyy its rosxy. i give up on soelling snd shit so yeah. i give out food if u ask and i pretend 2 b a wizurd sometimez. its fun in hrre i can fo nothing all fay. obvs i still drink (i give u some if u ask nice). i thpe with a glass (🍸) n shit. s fun. i dont remember rly anything from my tl. Jane: Hey! I just formed so I dont know or do much in here. I bake for the kids if they ask nicely! I mostly spend my time with Rox. I type with a spoon emoji (🥄) Aradia: Hell0! I've caught up with a l0t of mem0ries and I'm getting m0re with time. I spend my time playing b0ard games with Grey. I'm dating S0llux and Feferi. I have been t0ld that I give nice hugs. I type with my symb0l first (♈️) Tavros: hEY,, ITS UH,,, tAVROS. i SIT IN HERE AND PLAY WITH ALL THE DOGS. iF ANYONE NEEDS ME TO PROTECT THE SYSTEM I DO. i KINDA STAY AWAY FROM VRISKA BUT,,, uH,, sHE SEEMS OK. i DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY. i USE MY SYMBOL BEFORE I TYPE (♉️) Sollux: what2 up. the local pun ma2ter ii2 iin bu2iine22 over here. ii 2pend my tiime relaxiing and enjoyiing not haviing anythiing two really do. playiing that fuckiing game take2 a lot out of you. ii protect the 2y2tem iif ii need two. iim datiing aa and ff. ii al2o type wiith my 2ymbol (♊️) Karkat: I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKERS WANT FROM ME. IM LITERALLY THE FUCKING SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE, RELAXING WITH NOTHING TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DO FOR ONCE. MY GREATEST FUCKING ACCOMPLISHMENT IS EATING 49 PIZZAS WITHOUT PUKING. I PUKED ON THE 50TH. I TYPE WITH MY FUCKING SYMBOL SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE (♋️) Nepeta: :33 < hey! i sit in here and spend looots of time with my meowrail Equius and my rp partner Terezi! its so purrfect to not have all the responsibilities of the game anymore. aaaaand im not dead! i type with my symbol (♌️) but sometimes i furget. 833 wats this Kanaya: Hello Children. I Am Married To Rose Lalonde-Maryam And I Am Dating The Host Jade. I Spend My Time Being Gay And Sleeping. I Unironically Like Vore I Am Not Ashamed To Admit It. I Also Discovered Memes And I Enjoy Them Very Much. Ben Is A Hoe. Bitches Like Yellow. I Type With My Symbol As Well (♍️) Terezi: H3Y. 1 H4T3 TYP1NG ON TH1S SO 1 W1LL M4K3 TH1S SHORT. 4H3M. 1 DONT DO MUCH H3R3 HOST J4D3 1S MY QPP 4ND TH4TS 4BOUT 1T. 1 US3 MY SYMBOL TOO (♎️) Vriska: idk im here for some dum8ass reason. i pro8a8ly wont quirk. im too tired to do anything. jade said i have depression and hes probably right. i spend all my time laying on the floor doing nothing 8ut think about eeeeeeeeverything that went wrong back then. anyway i use my sym8ol to 8e different from everyone else (♏️) Equius: D --> um. i am not sure what i am supposed to say. jason told me to say that i sniff e%haust fumes, which is not a lie. i mostly spend time with nepeta to keep her out of trouble. i am attempting to get over my "obsessiveness with the highb100ds. i use my symbol before speech (♐️) Gamzee: WhAtS uP mOtHeRfUcKeRs YoUr LoCaL cLoWn Is HeRe. I DuNnO I lIkE wEeD aNd HoNkInG oMinOuSlY aT iNcOnVeNiEnT tImEs. I jUsT hAnG oUt WiTh My BrO kArKat. MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLeS bRo. (♑️) Eridan: i dont understand the point of wwritin all this. i spend my time "sulkin" accordin to everyone else. im just relaxin and thinkin about wwhen i didnt have to remember all the bad shit. i also practice magic behind kanayas back. i used the Aquarius symbol before typin (♒️) Feferi: )(ey! I also really dont do much in here. I spend time wit)( Sollux and Aradia thoug)(! We like to talk about life back before the game. ot)(er than that i dont do muc)(. i use my symbol before i say anything (♓️) Her Imperious Condesension: she doesnt want to talk about herself since she doesnt remember much. she didnt know anything when she first arrived so Lily screamed at her to get her into submission. she wont hurt anyone. she uses (🐠) Jack Noir: he wont write anything because hes an asshole. he doesnt really talk anyway unless hes being fucking rude. he uses (⬛️) before he talks. he just generally hates everyone. Steven: Hi! I'm Steven Quartz Universe! I just showed up one day! I hang around and play with the dogs and the others. I'm 14 and I'll be 15 in two months!! I cant wait to talk!!! I use an upside down exclamation point before talking (¡). It's nice to meet you! Wildfang: she never talks, shes super shy but shes 9 year old me. idk how she got here or why. i think its a stable time loop. Rainbow Dash: yo its rainbow dash! im 16! im from host jades sunset shimmer canon!! i just got here yesterday! im agender so i use they/them pronouns and aro/ace. stay cool bitches. go punch a transphobe or smth idk. i use a rainboy emoji before i talk (wow so creative (🌈)) there are also four clones of my best friend and i think a clone of my datemate that disappeared. so 36 countable people including me.

[dbtrilogy2]

Happy Wife Happy Life(13)

Carlton

Messing with a few buttons I nod at robin. For the last two months I've been working with her for the album she's trying to put out. After I got her drake for the Work remix and that blew up she asked me to be her official producer and writer for her entire album.

Now this isn't my first time. I've got a pretty fat profile between when I started and now. Right now I'm working on a sorta slow jam type song. It's coming along but needs something. Im not sure if it's a feature or another instrument.

"Howe as that?" She came out the booth sitting.

"Pretty good but I'm not feeling it all the way. It needs something."

"Well whatever it is I'm sure you'll make it work perfectly." She smiled touching my knee.

Frowning I move back and replay what she just did. Clearing my throats I go back to messing with her vocals and the music.

"So what's a married man with kids doing working pass ten on a Wednesday?" She smirked scooting her chair on by me.

"Just that working." I honestly haven't paid any mind to the time. Rebecca is gonna kill me!

"I'm surprised you wife isn't blowing you up I know if my man let alone husband was out this late working he would be flooded with calls voice mails text emails hell I'd DM that nigga. Guess she doesn't really care about you." She laughs.

"Hey don't disrespect my wife. Don't worry about what she is or isn't doing focus on this album people putting money into you making."

I didn't really mean to snap like that. It's probably just the guilt eating at me.

"Sorry. You know I really appreciate all the dedication you put into me Carlton. No one has ever truly believed in me until you and Chris."

It was getting really awkward in here. Probably a bad call doing this one on one thing so late. Note to self this never happens again.

"Right well...that's nice but I'm gonna call this a night."

Closing everything down I get my things holding the door letting robin walk out first.

"It's still a fresh night...you wanna catch a bite or something?"

Before I could answer my stomach growled loud. She giggled.

"Actually I'm just gonna head on hole I'm sure my wife cooked up something for me like she always does. See ya."

"Yeah..." She grabbed me hugging my neck then kissed my cheek. "Bye Carlton."

Watching her switch out I sigh running my hand over my face. What is going on with me!? That chick is nothing compared to my wife. She's probably just doing this as a suck up to get her name poppin. Yeah that's it she's a gold digger I ain't about to fall into whatever trap she plannin.

Around a little pass midnight I was walking into a dark house. A light shines from the kitchen.

"Baby I know I'm coming in late but-"

"Wrong person." Eli peaked from the fridge with a grape stem in his hand. "It's pass your curfew mister."

"Same to you. Is your mom sleep?"

"Last I saw she was carrying a bottle of wine a glass and had her beats and robe on." He shrugged. "You know she's pissed right?"

"Yeah I messed up son. Do me a favor and don't be like your dad." After grabbing a beer I sigh taking the bottle back.

"What's been going on with you anyway? Remember that time we were suppose to spend the day together? Or you telling Amanda you'd help her practice her dance? She did great by the way...it was tonight."

So both of my girls are gonna be mad at me? Great!

"Look I know I haven't been around like I should be or how I always promise but it's all in good thoughts. I've just been putting in extra work so I can really support you all and keep you guys happy."

I know what Rebecca said.

"Dad look around us. We have a six bedroom house with a pool, you have four cars, your kids attend top schools and your the head producer of one of the most popular record labels who brought the best entertains ever! We good man all of us basically get anything we want...except you. I'm starting to live that stereotype of black kids not having a dad." He chuckled hopping up on the counter. "Yeah it's nice having all these nice things but I'd rather spend a day out playing basketball or something with my old man over sitting in my room buying the news shoes or something."

I'm a little shocked hearing this from him. Eli is usually pretty quiet. Odd both my kids turned out opposites of their parents.

"I'm trying man I really am but things over lap sometimes. Your mom already bit my head off about this I took it down a bit but then I got this producing gig for one of our artist who wants me to produce the entire thing. It's my first time so I want it to go smooth and perfect."

"That shouldn't keep you from your family. And whoever this artist is tell her to ease up step off let you breath and keep her lips off you."

"What?"

He hopped down. "Your cheek is red and in the shape of lips. I guess it's a good thing you found me before mom huh."

Patting my back he went off to his room. After collecting and preparing myself I make my way up to our room. It was completely dark with a small dim light coming from the bathroom. Walking in I'm hit with steam and a vanilla scent with some kind of instrumental playing low.

She was up to her shoulders in bubbles. I cleared my throat going to sit on the tub edge.

"H-hey baby...late night bath huh?"

"Yeah just thought I'd relax myself."

She wouldn't look at barely acknowledge I was here.

"Look I know I'm late-"

"Ten is late...but midnight? We've already had a talk about your working hours clearly you don't care so neither do I. Work all you want come home when you want I'm done trying....I'm not going to continue raising my own blood pressure worrying where you are."

Frowning I turned off the music. "You giving up on me?"

"That's what you want right for me to stop nagging you? Work seems oh so important to you and I don't wanna get in the way."

"Rebecca-"

"No it's ok I'll just become the gold digger you want me to be. I sent you a email of some links it's just a few shoes bags and other shit I want."

Man...I really fucked up.

Chris

A door slamming woke me from my sleep. The clock read seven...that must've been the girls leaving. Just as I'm closing my eyes again our door opened.

"Mommy up." Maliki went to her side of our bed trying to climb up.

"Yo ki get out she sleep." I groan pushing him. Don't get all CPS on me it was just his leg. "Go watch tv in your room."

"I want mommy. Mommy!" He pulled on her hand making her groan.

"Ay what I say get yo little ass out and do what I said."

He glared at me but did like I said.

"You are so mean to him." Sleeping beauty mumbled.

"That wasn't mean it was parenting. I'm telling you one day imma get him and ain't shit you can do to stop me." I pull Cam closer to me squeezing kissing her head. We both up now.

"Chris must you try to crush me in half every morning?"

Chuckling I kiss her ear. "Just making sure none of this is some dream."

She smiled turning over facing me. Leaning over I kiss her nose pulling her body on top of me.

"You've been working a lot lately I miss our morning cuddles." She whispered tracing my chest tattoos.

"Yeah I know baby I'm working with these new artist and just getting my pieces ready for this charity auction." I rub her back. "I want you to see the one I did yesterday."

"Sure I love seeing your art. You free today...I wanna take the twins out to the mall we can go after dropping off Maliki." Sitting up on me she let her hair out falling over her shoulder.

I love seeing her in this fresh state. Her eyes seem brighter with her pink cheeks. This is my wife. Y'all don't even know how lucky I really am having her all to myself. Caressing her face I start biting my lip.

"You know I give you anything you want." She blushed leaning down kissing me.

We made out for a minute or two before she got up and dragged us into the bathroom. We handle our hygiene got dressed then went to the twins room. Mylan was still sleeping while Morgan was jumping in her crib. Seeing us she started babbling shaking her head.

"You look crazy Gigi." Cam picked her up. "Come on let's get you ready for a shopping day."

I picked out a matching outfit for them and went to wake up Mylan. She whined and squirmed before opening her pretty little eyes. Just like her mother she hates being woken up.

"Hey babygirl...its that time again no more sleeping." Blowing on her cheek she squealed pushing my head away. "Lets go get washed up with your sister."

"Uh damn it Morgan."

I laughed seeing all the water on the girls bathroom floor. It's always a fight with that one. I think she gets some kind of thrill from pissing people off...I can already tell her teenage years will be spent locked up in her room.

"Baby pass me that towel please."

I pass her Mylan and wipe up the spilled water. We washed them both then dress them. She wanted to do her little make up stuff and took the girls with her. I went to get Maliki ready. Putting him in the tub since he can wash himself I picked out his outfit.

"You can get dressed on your own right?" He nods grabbing his power ranger underwear putting them on then his pants. I helped him with the button let him put his shirt on.

"Nice?" He looked at me.

"Yeah son you look nice. Hey when we gonna hear talk like a big boy? You gon a whole five soon." He just shrugged at me.

I don't know how but imma get him to talk. Just like somehow Camila got Mona to talk I'll get him just gotta find what gets to him. We went into the room and he ran off somewhere.

"Mymy look...take a picture for mommy come on please."

"Maybe your sister will give me something. Morgan...Gigi look at mommy."

She almost had her but-

"Ki." She points behind me completely ignoring Cam trying to take her picture.

"I don't think they wanna take any pictures Cam."

"Uh I see that I just want everyone to see how cute my babies are. Why can't that work with me." She rolled her eyes picking up their baby bag then Morgan leaving me with Mylan.

"They got that "I do what I want" attitude from you baby." She flipped we off walking out the room. "Ki where you at!?"

He ran out our closet.

"Ah I have to get this." Cam went up to him.

"You done yet?" Mylan pulled on my chain talking to herself.

"Yeah yeah put the bag back ki come on."

I got the double stroller for the twins while she buckled everyone in. We dropped the boy off first then head for the mall. The first store we went to was one of those pricey ass kids stores. Small clothes huge dollars signs. Hell there was a bow...a hair bow for two hundred.

"Camila why are we in here I'm not trynna have anymore spoiled kids Mona and Maurice are enough."

"Oh come on Chris everything in here is so freaking cute! Look at this dress." Morgan smiled reaching for it. "Oh she loves we gotta get it." She hands it to me.

"Hell no cam this small ass dress for $350 no Camila no I'm not buying this."

She cut her eyes at me snatching the dress back. "Fine I'll buy it myself I don't need your passed down money." She switched away leaving me with the kids.

"Does she not know her money was passed down to." Morgan laughed like she understood me. I saw her in line with some other stuff looking all mad. "Ok...let daddy go bow down to mommy."

She ignored me standing next her the entire time.

"Hi did you find everything ok?"

"Yes I did my husband on the other hand was feeling cheap today." She rolled her eyes at me.

"Can't blame a guy the dress cost more than my shoes." The register girl just smiled ringing up her things.

"But not more than your watch, chain, earrings, nose rings, belt and shirt."

Damn...she got me.

"Your total in $1,234.66. Cash or card?"

"Card." I take out my wallet handing it to her. "Better be glad I love."

She smiled kissing me. "I love you to. Let's go to a store for you my treat this time." Grabbing the bags she walked with me.

Happy wife happy life a very true statement.