#i go fucking buckwild insane when i think about him for too long

[artsybi]

i think about gerry keay for a little too long and just go insane.

he's SUUUUCH a tragic figure and i just. lose my mind a little when i think about him for too long because god he didn't ask for ANY of this shit and as SOON as he got to start making his own damn decisions of all things it's CANCER that gets him

he was RAISED around leitners, around all of this creepy fucking supernatural shit and he dies of a brain tumor

AND HE DOESNT EVEN GET TO REST AFTER HIS DEATH BECAUSE GERTRUDE BINDS HIM TO THE FUCKING TRAPPED DEAD AND THEN HE ENDS UP HAVING TO PLAY GUIDE FOR TWO MONSTER HUNTERS FOR LIKE TWO YEARS

i. go so insane about him.

and just, the fact that he never got to have any actual close friends, like, "i always wanted my friends to call me gerry." god he deserved a better hand than he was dealt

look the horror aspects might be why i never actually managed to make it all the way through season 5 but, god the casual tragedy of gerry and agnes and sasha and tim and his brother like. fuck dude

i go insane.

[ananxiousgenz]

okay now that I've had a night to sleep on it I just wanna take a minute and go absolutely buckwild over john doe in part 26 bc like. I was expecting the "I will not let you drown" line. I've seen the fanarts of it floating around, I knew that was coming. what actually fucking killed me was the second I realized john was reciting a robert frost poem to calm arthur down. and not just any robert frost poem, one that has been quoted over and over again, usually by arthur. that made me start SOBBING bc like.

this inhuman entity, who around 4-5 months prior, wanted arthur and the rest of humanity dead just because he had power and could kill them. learned so much from this broken mess of a man. learned about stories and poetry and music and mysteries and compassion and love and fell in love with all of it so deeply that it permanently changed who he is and how he sees humans and the world they live in. changed him so much that when he saw his friend crumbling under the weight of his own grief and guilt, chose to not only comfort him, but chose to comfort him with a poem. a fucking poem. when john has been so deeply invested in the stories and poems he's heard from arthur. he heard one that he liked enough to memorize and to keep close to his heart. and he chose to give it back again when his friend needed it most. to reach a hand out to arthur with a thing he loved and tell him he's heard. he's not alone. but he needs to keep going. most human action imaginable. do you think arthur ever recited that poem to john? to keep him calm when he got scared and lashed out? and that's how john learned it? and it brought him enough peace and comfort that he figured it would help arthur too??

literally the only equivalent I can come up with for this moment is something I saw once a long time ago. so my mom was sick. like really sick. normally she's a power-through-a-cold kind of person and she was laid out on the couch, so she wasn't doing great. and our dog, who was a lot younger then, knew something was wrong, and clearly wanted to make her feel better but didn't know how. so, she got her favorite toy, and gently shoved it into my mom's mouth. a kind of "I don't know how to make you feel better, so here's something I love and I hope it helps." it was one of the sweetest things I've ever seen. and it wasn't that the bone itself helped, it was the act of giving it that made everyone feel a little bit better. and that is what happened here. it's not the thing that john gave, even though it is significant, it's the fact that he chose to give it.

nobody talk to me for the next 5 business days, I'm going absolutely insane

[butchdykekondraki]

i think the phone guys are insane but also everyone around them is like 100% worse so im pretty sure you cant tell. like. hold on i just realized i can actually fucking list the reasons these guys are buckwild hold up this Will get long.

steven has a fake family and refuses to believe they arent real, and if you imply they arent it sends him spiraling. he says groovy unironically. he got killed because henry stuffed him into a animatronic while unconcious and waited for him to wake up before turning it on. hes a canonical dilf. hes queer. prior to fazbenders he had a boyfriend. hes the straightest man alive. peter has a fake family that is actually just steven's. god knows how he got a photo of steven's fake family. if you point out that's stevens he has a mental breakdown and says it's "all he has left". you can kill him if you want (its actually encouraged that you do), but he won't fight back during the fight and in fact gets actively suicidal during it. harry was in vietnam, and everyone around him finds it really ironic that he survived the war but died because of a springlock failure. his own family recognized him, but because he didn't remember them he shooed them away in fear. you can actually flirt with him, and he doesn't seem to mind it all too much (he just seems a bit upset that it isn't work related, in all honesty). he was involved in cartels and drug dealing at the factory he was in when jack picked him up, stating that he didn't know and was always curious about the gunshots. jake walked across the country to find his son, and then stood outside his window and watched him on christmas because he couldn't bring himself to show his face to his son after orphaning him, stating he "couldn't do that to him". he's clinically depressed and has such a low self esteem that he calls himself a monster unprompted. he outright flirts with you and calls you and him working together "a date". he's a widower. he's one of the only phone men who remember most of their past. he's so scared of going back to the factory he went into hiding for a brief time. i dont know shit about roger but i can only imagine he is just as insane as the others. or hes the most normal man alive. really its a gamble with these cunts

[angel-deux-writes]

I don’t think I’ve ever talked about this On Here, but I really want to tell the story of the guy who put in my kitchen floors because it was terrifying

im putting it under a cut bc it’s probably not that long, but who knows.

(scrolled back up after i actually wrote it to confirm that it is in fact long)

Some backstory is that I was INCREDIBLY lucky and got my condo very cheap in a neighborhood I already knew I loved. The other unit I’d looked at was a full 30k over my budget, but this one was perfect because the owner hadn’t updated ANYTHING since it was built in 1985, so it was just...awful. Awful rugs, awful floors, awful walls. My dad is like...the dad who loves a project, so he was all “I can fix all of this except the floors!!! it’ll be great!!”, so I bought it. We hired a local company to do the floors, not wanting to go to Home Depot or whatever (Which i still support in theory, just......not this company lmao). Everything except the kitchen and bathroom was originally carpet. Hallways, stairs, every single room. And it was cheap industrial carpet, too. Like the kind in office buildings. The dude who did the carpet was like “what the fuck were they thinking???” 

Also, one of the carpets had a truly upsetting rusty stain, so. My guest bedroom might be haunted. 

Anyway, the carpet guy was great. He was the owner of the company, and he was older and very kind. I had my mom come over with me when he was doing the carpets, but I didn’t even need her there. He was cool. His son was in charge of the hardwood portion (I say “hardwood”. I mean, like, the cheapest laminate while still looking nice lmao). He was less great. He had a team of like 3 dudes and 1 lady who would show up and work, doing my office/dining room and upstairs hallway. I know carpet is easier, but the carpet guy took one day, and these guys took a week and a half. They messed up a few times, and it was kind of stressful, but overall it was okay. They had to redo all the subfloors, because condos built in 1985 were almost universally built in buckwild, impossible-to-explain ways, so it took forever. The hardwood guys were loud as hell, but they were nice! 

At one point, one of the nicest guys accidentally broke a few of my kitchen tiles while putting in the transition from the wood to the tile. I was cool with it, tbh, but he offered a discount on a new kitchen floor because, shocker, the subfloor under the broken tile was really jacked up, and it wouldn’t be as simple as taking a tile from under the fridge and replacing it. I was like, okay, cool! We set it up. 

I did not hear from them for four months. Which, I get it. It was a discounted job, so obviously they wanted to do full-price jobs first. I have no problem with that. The same hardwood guys came back to do the subfloor, and then they were like “okay [the owner’s son] will contact you about the tiles. That took about a week. Finally, I got a date. It was a Friday, a day when my sister was already working from home, so she was like “yeah, I can handle it.” She works in interior design, so she’s used to dealing with construction people, and she was REALLY useful when it came to talking down the son of the owner, who was like...every bad stereotype about contractors meshed with a used car salesman. 

So I’m at work the day the tiling is supposed happen. My sister is fine at first, texting me about how the son showed up with one single guy, and then left, so it was only the single guy working. She was annoyed like “it’s supposed to take one day, right? That’s what they said? There’s no way he’s finishing at this pace. Why are they making this guy do the whole thing by himself?”. She called him “nice, kind of cute, but a very slow worker”. I was like ‘well, if they have to come back tomorrow, whatever, that’s fine’.”

Around 10:30 she starts texting me increasingly insane shit. 

“He’s talking to himself downstairs? Maybe he’s on the phone”. 

“He keeps dropping stuff and yelling SHIT really loudly.”

“Someone just showed up with a bag, and he let them in, and they chatted in the kitchen for like ten minutes, and then the person left, and they didn’t take the bag with them”. 

“He’s standing outside using the tile cutter and SCREAMING whenever it’s on.”

“He’s out in the rain and shout-singing something while he’s cutting tile”

“He is BARKING LIKE A DOG TO THE TUNE OF THE RUGRATS THEME SONG CAN YOU PLEASE COME HOME”

I’m half convinced she’s making this shit up, but she’s uncomfortable so I tell my boss what’s going on and race home. When I get there, there’s a vaguely adam driver looking guy who seems nice enough. A little startled to see me, but we make pleasant conversation, I see that he’s not very far along, and then I go upstairs to see my sister. I brought her takeout as a treat, and we sit there for a while talking about normal things. Gradually, downstairs, the dude starts talking to himself. I’m thinking that’s still not THAT weird. Then he starts singing and clapping along. Okay, a BIT weird, but not terrible. I decide to go downstairs into the living room and play some Playstation. Like, maybe he thinks we can’t hear him upstairs and he’ll be more chill when i’m down there? NOPE! HE ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT! He does the barking thing again (and it is, in fact, the rugrats theme song), he’s working at a pace of about one tile per hour, and he starts singing a song that consists only of the word “bitch” over and over again. 

I’m texting my dad, freaking out, and he tries to get in contact with the owner or his son, but nobody’s answering the phone. My other sister and her friend are on their way for game night. My sister’s boyfriend should be home soon from work, but not soon enough. It is, at this point, 7 pm. There is absolutely no chance he’s getting these tiles done today. He’s not even halfway done. My kitchen is VERY SMALL, by the way, so this reasonably could have been done in a day with two people, but I suspect that because it was a discount job, we got the discount treatment. 

My other sister and her friend show up, and the guy is perfectly pleasant and normal to them. We all go upstairs into my sister’s room, and we sit there, waiting in silence for it to start again, hoping that maybe with more people in the house, he’ll be okay. 

NOPE! He starts singing the “bitch” song again. I distinctly remember my other sister whispering “I love this song” and pretending to groove, which was kind of funny but NOT THE TIME. I’m sitting on my sister’s bed clutching a camp axe like a maniac, because I’m like “we are going to be killed by this giant kylo ren asshole”. I’m still texting my dad, who’s like “if you need me to come over, I can, i’m out of work”, but at this point it’s almost 8 and I’m also thinking about my neighbors. Like, he can’t be here at night. He just can’t. He’s so loud even just doing regular tile things! 

I muster up LITERALLY EVERY IOTA OF COURAGE THAT I HAVE, and I head downstairs. I ask him when he’s planning on wrapping up, because I know there’s no way he’s going to finish tonight. He tells me it’ll probably take about two more hours. That is 1) absolutely not true and 2) not something I’m willing to deal with because I live in a condo with neighbors on either side of me, and one of my neighbors is a truck driver who gets up at like 4 am! So I explain that my friends and I have an obligation to get to, and I would love it if we could arrange for someone to continue the work tomorrow. He’s SUPER NICE ABOUT IT and is like “oh, okay, no problem!” He leaves. Just...walks into the rain. Leaves all his tools and his tile cutter. I move it inside because it was on my front porch and it is, again, raining. 

My sister, a Nancy Drew Game fiend, starts searching the entire downstairs and eventually finds the plastic bag that someone brought him. My other sister, who is a nurse in a hospital that primarily treats overdose patients, is like “yep, that’s drug residue for sure”. I’m like, okay, so he didn’t hurt any of us, and he was nice, just....high and weird. But it’s over now, so whatever. My dad says he’ll call the owner’s son the next day, and everything’s cool. He also says that he, my mom, and my brother will all come over to watch the football game at my house the next day just to be there (which...im less than thrilled about the football part, but sure). I also beg my friend to drive up from the Cape to pick up his hat that he left at my condo over the summer just so he can chill for a few hours in the morning. 

The next day, the same guy returns, with the owner’s son this time. The owner’s son is like “why did you only get this far along?” but otherwise doesn’t really say anything. The barking guy is TOTALLY FINE, totally polite. My friend lingers as long as he can, but there’s an ice storm coming, so he peaces out eventually. I’m alone for about an hour with the guy, and nothing happens. He’s quiet, even when the owner’s son peaces for a bit. My parents show up, we watch the football game, and nothing happens. I feel like A LUNATIC, because my dad is like “he seems fine now” and I’m like NO BUT YESTERDAY WAS TERRIFYING. 

Anyway, so that’s the story. I didn’t end up saying anything to the owner’s son, but my dad reamed him out a bit for sending only one person to do a job meant for two. And now every time I drive by that business I suppress a shudder, and sometimes the barking version of the Rugrats theme song still gets stuck in my head.

[arofili]

legolas or celebrimbor??

celebrimbor doesn’t have a tumblr, he made that shit. he and narvi are @staff.

(well. they were @staff…)

leg …. pre fellowship

their blog url

green-leaves-in-a-green-forest

(or something equally long and horrendously hyphenated and fake poetic)

the kind of posts they reblog

random shit he finds amusing

like, cat pictures and social justice posts from 2013

no theme at all

i would never follow him

the first person they followed

tauriel

she convinced him to get a tumblr because of the memes

a year later, she regrets this immensely

she matured and has a better blog that she doesn’t even use much

legolas is the exact same.

what kind of theme they’d have

tumblr default theme

what kind of text posts they make at 2am

he will wake up in the middle of the night and post about the dreams he just had, but without any context

“made some chocolate milk with the lady who pulls the sun. tasted like weed. also, that one girl who i thought i had a crush on in 3rd grade was there. awkward.”

“sweating so much!! just ran a marathon with my dad while we were being chased by oliophaunts. the racetrack turned into a river halfway through. we won!!”

he thinks he’s funny

(he’s not.)

leg …… during fellowship

their blog url

he privated his blog for the first part of the journey because he thought it would be safer

after a few weeks he gets bored and starts liveblogging this shit

at that point his url becomes “fellowshipoftheleg”

his blog title is “Eight Idiots And A Gorgeous Elf Save The World”

“Hello! My name is Legolas Greenleaf. I am currently on a quest to save the world. The details are ~secret~ but I needed a place to vent so here we go. My companions are all idiots, except for me. My interests include….”

you know the type of subtitle i’m talking about.

the kind of posts they reblog

he basically stops reblogging and only makes original posts during this period of time

the liveblog

legolas had >300 followers before this, but his posts about his journey start to gain traction

his liveblog is pretty much petty complaints at first

he talks shit about gimli

he cracks “jokes” about boromir

(again. he’s not funny)

he reports on the weird stuff gandalf does

he gushes over the adorable hobbits

(until one day he accidentally bumps into frodo and sam tries to jump him.

he’s a little afraid of them after that.)

he quotes aragorn like there’s no tomorrow

some of these are like, actually deep

most of them sound like stuff from inspirobot

or they’re stupid inside jokes

everyone gets code names, cuz legolas isn’t that stupid

gandalf is “old man”

aragorn is “the bro”

boromir is “angstlord”

the hobbits go through tons of nicknames

“itty bitties”

“curly boys”

tiny monsters

eventually they get their own, but by that point the fellowship has split

gimli is “asshole dwarf”

after a few weeks… he becomes weirdly popular.

his story reads like a trollfic, with stupid plot twists and bizarre anecdotes

this mostly is anecdotes, not the full scope of the quest

he mostly makes text posts, with a few pictures here and there

every now and then he’ll post a snapshot of the fellowship roasting marshmallows

or a selfie of him in lothlorien

or a sneaky pic of him drawing dicks on boromir’s face while he’s asleep

he used to be low-profile, but shit’s gone whack.

he’s gaining hundreds of followers a day

his top post has half a million notes.

he’s a tumblr “cewebrity”

everyone on tumblr thinks this is just a story, not real life

people dig through his old posts looking for clues and foreshadowing

they’re baffled by the dedication the mod of the blog has to building up this “legolas” character

or they’re puzzled by the mod’s decision to turn this shit blog into a dedicated storytelling platform

legolas is bombarded with asks and @ mentions

but like…this bitch don’t actually know how to use this website.

he can make a post and reblog one

but that’s literally it

he’s the kind of blogger who leaves stupid captions on popular posts

he can’t figure out how tags work

he’s never heard of xkit

all his asks go unanswered

he’s only sort of aware of what’s going on

he’s blogging 100% from mobile, which makes it even worse

the Legolas Fandom goes buckwild

there is not enough time in the day to over it all

ship wars.

fan theories.

headcanon drama.

it’s a mess.

and again, legolas has no clue that this is going on.

when he catches feelings for gimli…things get insane.

he writes gushy, cringy, angsty posts about gimli

he posts pics of gimli with flower crowns

he composes bad poetry about gimli

the fan base is infuriated.

they’d all been shipping him with aragorn.

and like, no one in the fellowship has a fucking clue this is happening.

at least, not until they get to 

it’s ironic that Isolated Horseblr User eowyn is the first one to recognize legolas

she finally gets up the courage to ask him about it

“has someone been stealing your selfies, or…?”

he is astonished.

if Leg could, he’d shut down the whole thing

even if eowyn had wanted to help him do that, he’s just in too deep

he’s in this for the long haul.

now, Legolas starts to make shit up.

that’s when his popularity tanks.

he’s getting callouts

he’s everyone’s “problematic fav”

people dig through his blog to find dirt instead of clues

Legolas is more aware of this now, and he pouts for days

then gimli, a Twitter-Only lad, finally sees a masterpost explaining everything

he connects the dots way quicker than anyone else did

and oh fuck.

he’s frantically tweeting–

“wtf do i do??”

“i think i’m the asshole dwarf??”

“but he’s like in love with the asshole dwarf now??”

“oh my god, my crush likes me back??”

“has he been liveblogging EVERYTHING??”

eventually he deletes it all and decides to confront legolas

the leg boy caves under pressure and spills the beans.

they figure their personal shit out

of course, aragorn knew everything all along.

at least, that’s what he says

gimli takes over the liveblog for a day and everyone goes nuts.

together, he and leg decide that they’ve got to end this fake-ish story

even though they don’t know the ending of the real one.

for someone who’s never used it before, gimli picks up tumblr etiquette quickly

and on mobile. that’s a whole nother level of perseverance.

he starts streamlining shit, collecting information, making use of fan masterposts

he ties all the loose ends together

with a little bit of help from legolas to make it suitably weird, they close the story strong with a bang and a kiss.

aragorn finds their version of events…amusing.

after the real dust settles and the news stories about the Real Quest hit the press…

now legolas is a Real Actual Celebrity

his fans new and old start to see…similarities between the two stories

plagiarism?

insider info?

conspiracy?

coincidence?

no one can decide.

leg ………… post fellowship

their blog url

Legolas has three blogs now.

“fellowshipoftheleg” is kept as an archive. he doesn’t post there anymore.

he has a secret personal blog, “greenwood-gossip”, that he just posts random shit on like before.

and finally he has a Real Life Famous Person Tumblr Blog, “legolasgreenleaf”

the kind of posts they reblog

with the help of gimli and tauriel, he figures out how to actually use this website.

like most celeb blogs this one doesn’t post much

but he does reblog edits of himself and of his friends

every time he’s asked about fellowshipoftheleg he answers that he is not responsible for it and has no idea about it and would you all please stop asking about it.

the first person they followed

aragorn’s new Famous Person account.

this blog is deactivated after two months because he never uses it.

what kind of theme they’d have

something that should be really classy but with awkward shades of green

like, it had potential but again…legolas has a terrible eye for design

what kind of text posts they make at 2am

he doesn’t usually make original posts

but sometimes he’ll complain about gimli’s weird habits

and once - just once - he confessed that he was the one who ran that liveblog all those years ago

he deleted the post an hour later, but there were screenshots.

legolas is the Ultimate Troll.

[bichhebetalkin]

I’d like to talk about Nathan Drake and how I think he’s gay (and other things)

I will preface this with the fact that I have not yet played Lost legacy (and I’m not likely to play golden abyss...), and I also have not interacted much with interviews/fan theories/fan analyzations or anything like that. I’m kinda just typing my opinions out. I’ve just played the four games and thought about it a lot. 

I would love it for people to interact and respond-- I’d love some second opinions on anything I post. This post won’t get graphic, but it will mention inner turmoil and canon-typical violence. (and like, I’m talking about the marriage a bit too)

1823 words 

“I learned the past is not the past, a lump of time you can quarantine and forget about, but a reel of film in your brain that keeps rolling, spooling and unspooling itself regardless of whether or not you are watching it.”

--Nick White How to Survive a Summer

First of all

This is just my homely opinion, but in the first Uncharted game, Nathan Drake is some kind of a douche. Uncharted 2 is such an upgrade in several ways, and that includes an upgrade in Nathan’s character. I won’t rant too long, but I am certainly glad they fixed all that. Drake was an asshole who only cared for treasure, and he barely even flinched at Sully’s death and was ready to “beat sully’s ass” upon rescuing him. But whatevs, I won’t criticize too much since it was the first game and they might not have had the characters pinned down yet. A rough start to one of my favorite game series, and one that I will pretty much disregard in this post. If this seems harsh... I’m sorry. 

The Marriage between Elena and Nathan

We should all rename Uncharted Everyone is a dick to Nathan and Nathan is sometimes a dick to Elena

If you’re into mystic messenger and you read my only other post on this blog, you’ll know that I have... a couple thoughts on love and what it all means anyway. I want to start this off by saying I love both Nathan and Elena very much! They are truly great characters that I admire and adore. Despite this, their relationship just isn’t something I can believe in. A lot of their relationship progress is done in between games, which kinda makes the audience a little unable to gauge like, what the fuck is going on. 

somewhere between Game one and two, the pair is dating. By the time we get to Uncharted 2, though, it’s clearly and on-again-off-again kinda thing. We also meet Chloe, Nathan’s.... pal from the past (?). He risks a lot to save her, but I get the impression that the feelings he had for her were not as serious as the ones he has for Elena. I know it was supposed to be presented as a love triangle, but it just didn’t feel like it. Nathan and Chloe both kinda seemed like they weren’t at all interested in pursuing each other seriously. I honestly kind of appreciated this; Instead of the cliche fight between the women, Elena and Chloe seemed to get along in the end, despite some tension. 

Between the second game and the third game Elena and Nathan got married (1)(wait what?) and split up again. I don’t know if they were actually divorced or just separated, but the point is that they aren’t together by the time the third game begins. Finally, between the third game and the fourth game, They are living the domestic lifestyle. They both have legal jobs where they don’t have to kill anyone and they can make it home for dinner. Seems perfect.

Or at least, it would seem perfect if I thought it would last at all. Nathan hasn’t really had a significant relationship with any woman like. ever? (2). On-again-off-again means that they have to go off again at some point. If you pay some attention to dialogue it’s obvious that it’s Nate that breaks it off each time, or he at least he initiates it. When he lies to Elena in the fourth game, she admits that she almost didn’t come to save him. I have a shit ton of empathy and let me tell you that dynamic drove me buckwild I almost couldn't stand it. When Elena confronts Nathan in the hotel room and Nathan sent both Elena and sully away, I wanted to scream. (3) (what are you doing Nate these people love you)

It is also in this scene that we are reminded that Elena doesn’t know about Sam-- at all. That is... an insanely huge part of Nathan’s past, and he just never brought it up? Do they talk about anything at all? For many of Nathan’s formative years, he had to lie about his identity (and likely other things), so I get why Lying would be a tough-to-break habit for him, but Elena is his wife. Just how well do they know each other?

The on-again-off-again dynamic is not stable enough for a serious relationship, and certainly not a marriage (4). And like I said earlier, Nathan is the initiator in the break offs each time. What is he running from? A very supportive wife? I think it’s more than that.  From an outside viewpoint, Elena seems like... the perfect wife for Nate. She is supportive and she’s pretty much ready for action. But for some reason, Nate wants to leave her out of his adventures (5). I don’t think Nathan dislikes Elena; I think Nathan just isn’t romantically interested in her. Trying to force himself into a marriage because he knows that’s what charming guys such as himself are supposed to do, right? (6) Him forcing himself into a relationship he doesn’t want would make sense for him to feel a lot of disconnect. He spends a lot of time trying to get away, not because he truly dislikes Elena as a person, but because he doesn’t understand why he doesn’t feel as into her as he thinks he should (that sentence was a mouthful). 

I will say that, as a story, uncharted has been pretty mean to Elena. It is a story so thats not problematic or anything, but I do hope she can find what she needs. She needs someone to support her as much as she will support them, and she needs someone who will offer some stability. She likes Nathan, but he isn’t very suited to the life she wants/ 

Nathan Drake a Psychopath?

Yeah, I get it. Nathan kills hundreds or thousands of people and he doesn’t even feel bad about it, which might make him a psychopath which might explain his  behavior. I have some groundbreaking information to explain how he kills so many people without the guilt crushing him and that is that... this is a bideo game. bidya games be like “kill people” and you just do it. Nathan Drake could certainly have some mental health issues, but I don’t think the combat portion of the games should be considered when evaluating his health. His character as it is written has empathy, even going as far as attempting to save Marlowe in the third game. Combat is just expected in games. Although it might have been neato dorito if the game got into how Nate was coping with all that killing, I think we can just say “its bidya games” and move on. 

Dad? Papa? Father??

I already hate this section of the post, but If I was (shitty bitch) Freud I would point out the fact that Nathan uh Defo has some mom/dad issues, and suddenly the Beautiful, capable, caring, morally gray Victor Sullivan swoops in to be Nate’s New Dad ™ and it would be normal for Nathan to have some weird feelings for Sully. But whatever that’s just Freud's take on the matter (although I won’t deny that the Drake’s prolly got parent issues). moving on. 

Internal Turmoil

Nathan Drake throws himself in fatal danger and puts himself in incredibly difficult situations that have a tendency to just get worse. And he keeps doing this. This alone looks like a man just wracked with internal conflict. It would make sense for him to go on these physically taxing expeditions for treasure if he was insecure in his sexuality. Why would Nathan Drake be insecure though?  He’s charming, smart, strong, handsome, and funny. It’s not like he has to beg to get laid. He has no reason to feel this insecurity-- unless it was men he was interested in, not women. 

I don’t think It would be a stretch to suggest that Nathan “I never had any parents, really” Drake would have some troubles with learning how to navigate his own emotions. By the time he meets Dad Replacement 6000 (aka Sully), Nathan is already like, 15. That boy needed a parent years ago. 

When Uncharted introduces Chloe to us in the second game, Nathan really just doesn’t seem to be into her. The scene in the hotel-- he was just kinda going along with it. He “kinda goes along with” a lot of stuff. To me, he seems like someone insecure, not only in his sexuality but also his ability to make choices for himself. When a woman makes a move on him, he just kinda... goes with it. Elena comes back for him even though he breaks it off repeatedly. I’m sure to him this is the support he desperately needs. So logically he should reward her with uhhhhhh marriage? 

Harry Flynn

yeah he’s a bastard but don't even act like this scene didn’t have some gay subtext  “buy me a drink, sailor!” that's flirting babes. Nathan was so happy to see Flynn. 

Cassie Drake

whether Nathan is gay or not-- I still don’t believe in his marriage to Elena. I really love that Naughty Dog stuffed uncharted 4 with as many ladies as possible-- all the way down to Nathan’s sweet daughter. But seriously I hope Cassie’s upbringing is as cushy as it seems. Like I hope her parents are stable enough. 

But also like I have so many mixed feelings about her existence. Kids aren’t relationship bandaids (... or at least they shouldn’t be). 

I still have a lot I want to say about Nathan Drake (esp when thinking about Sam). The Uncharted Series has really done a lot to subvert some tropes in the adventure-type genre (imo anyway). And I’m not gonna scream and yell. I just think there's a lot of evidence to support Gay Nathan Drake. Of course, This could legitimately all be projecting. I love Nathan’s Character a ton!  

I wrote this all in one setting, so if it’s badly written or repetitive or.... whatever, please forgive me. I’d love some interaction! tell me what you’re thinking! 

1) are they married or engaged? I can’t remember....

2)that we know of blah blah

3) I might be being a bit too impassioned 

4) I’ve been rewatching Bojack so I am reminded of the bojack/pc dynamic (although its not a perfect parallel by any means), and in the show it’s clear to anyone that while bj and pc depend on each other, the game they are playing isn’t good for either of them (esp not for pc). Elena and Nathan can harbor affection for each other all they want-- but Elena can’t do this anymore. 

5) “wuh wuh he’s protecting her” im sorry but that’s bullshit-- she can hold her own, and he’s pretty quick to come to terms with her tagging along when she pops up each game. 

6)IT’S POSSIBLE that i’m just projecting and i just wish he was gay, but like, seriousliy? sersreoopsily? I have at least SOME support for my claims.