#i got really upset about it at the time LMAOO. but looking back it was such a good metaphor

[muniimyg]

10.5: love 》 series m.list

note: we made it !!! i am so incredibly grateful for everyone's love and support with c2u <3 meeting u all was so fun ,, answering ur asks and interacting thru comments truly made my day ! i'm glad i was able to share this silly goofy concept and have it well received . as usual ,, please lmk ur thots !!! i have 3 extras that will be posted soon (ie: their first hook up, a comfort scenario, and one final smut extra) so please look forward to those !!! thank u for ur patience ,, all the love 💗

warnings: sex tape vibes (kind of), pussy eating (nom nom), fucking LOL ... dirty talk & creampie! easy shit yk? lmaoo

taglist request: CLOSED

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @defzcl @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main @ellesalazar

//

As much as Jungkook loves to play soccer for the glory, he loves it best alone. 

When the bleachers are empty and the field is wide and free—that’s when he feels the most love for his sport. To others, it comes off as lonely and sad but to him; it’s serenity. Sometimes, it’s the only place he feels like he can truly be himself. It’s a place where he doesn’t have to be anything to anyone. It’s a place where he can be lost and found at the same time. It’s also his go-to place when he can’t sleep. Jungkook hasn’t slept well in weeks. He figured it was time to be in his own space.

His haven. 

His favourite part has got to be when he plays so hard that he doesn’t even notice the world is waking up. The moment Jungkook looks up and sees the sunrise—he always gets this feeling in the pit of his stomach. It’s an easiness that can’t be explained.

It’s an incredible relief. 

When he sees the sun, he stops playing. He takes a break and sits down to watch the sun bloom on the horizon. There’s so much bliss in the stillness of the world. He feels so much clarity when it’s just him, the net, and the ball. It’s like nothing else matters and his mind can focus on one thing: winning.

Jungkook has only done these late-night sessions a handful of times in his life. 

The first time was the day before Uni tryouts and he doubted his talent. Everyone kept telling him he had nothing to worry about, but that didn’t make him feel any better. To Jungkook, his luck was just like everybody’s. He was afraid of it not coming through when he needed it the most. Therefore, he worked his ass off regardless of his luck history. 

Note: Jungkook was the first in his year to get in. 

The second time was when he fucked up at a game and cost his team a minor setback. It wasn’t the end of the world—he just felt like shit.

The third time was the day he redeemed himself and scored the winning goal that got the team to championships. It was the best game he had in a while. It was also the first time felt tired of it. Tired of the game, tired of the play… Just tired. 

The fourth time was when he decided to take a break from soccer and tend to his burnout… Eventually, he came back after a few months. Of course, he did. He loves soccer more than anything in the world…

That was until you.

He didn’t go back to the field and have a session to himself to celebrate. No, he celebrated with you instead. You didn’t know and he never told you… But that’s what he did. The first day he came back to soccer, he went to you right after. With you, he found rest. 

That’s when he realized something… 

He wasn’t tired anymore.

At least, whenever he was with you.

He wasn’t tired. That’s all he could really ask for, right? To fall in love with someone that was his safety net. 

The fifth time would be today. 

Jungkook has been out here since 3AM, kicking the ball and practicing drills. It upset him, to be honest. He thought being here would help ease his heart. Everything feels so clogged up and messy to him. It’s like no matter what he does to try to clean up his mess, everything stains. So, he thinks to himself that maybe if he ran enough laps or kicked the ball hard enough—it would stop.

The mess. 

The yearning.

The loving. 

But it doesn’t.

No, instead his heart continues to ache. As he clenches it every so often, he thinks of you. Then, for a second, his heart is still. In the stillness, he tries to think of good things around him. 

At least the rain wasn’t pouring as hard as it was an hour ago.

At least the sun is coming up and it’s a new day. 

At least you were here—

Wait. 

You’re here?

Jungkook rubs his eyes. Partly due to disbelief and partly because the rain made it hard to see you clearly. Yet, somehow… In his heart, he knows it. He knows it’s you. 

How’d you know where he was? More importantly, why are you here? 

Why was his heart racing so fast again? 

Be still. 

He isn’t sure of what to do. Should he wave? Should he call your name? Are you here on accident? 

Considering it’s almost 6AM… It can’t be an accident, right?

Just as much as Jungkook’s head begins to fill with questions, yours does too. As you walk closer and closer to him, you can’t help but only hear your heartbeat pound louder and louder. Is this normal? To feel like your heart could jump out of your chest if it meant getting to him faster? You let your mind spin. 

Why the fuck are you here? 

What are you doing again?

Did you write everything down?

You sure felt a lot braver ten minutes ago… Suddenly, seeing him has made you doubt all the courage you worked to have for this moment. At the same time, the complex feeling of pure happiness and relief blossoms. You can’t help but smile at the sight of him. There’s a stillness in the world and it’s only when you look at him and it’s good. You know that now… But oh my god. 

You’re about to lose your shit. 

How did you get here?

When did it all begin? 

Was it from the first night you two slept together? Or was it the karaoke night when you realized you were waiting for him to kiss you? Could it be time he fucked you in front of your mirror and you vowed to never drink coffee before meeting up with him ever again? 

… No. 

Maybe it was when Mina came along. 

You gave him a blowjob just to stall him from going (bad move, by the way. That was pretty bitchy). Oh, and we can’t forget about the time you craved him when you were drunk out of your mind and all he did was take care of you. Half asleep, you woke up to him mounting your mirror on the wall… And well, maybe…

Maybe it was then. 

When he fixed your mirror, he fixed your heart. 

That’s probably why the time you two hooked up in his bedroom at the party felt so right. It was finally clicking.

You were into him then.

You just didn’t know how to admit it. Then, it got fucked up because you were caught off guard. 

The perilla leaf.

The exile. 

The hate sex. 

Everything good and bad has led to this moment and you can’t help but feel like you’re falling apart. Finding the origin of it all feels exhausting… In your head, you debate it all. In your heart, you’ve always known. 

You see, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. 

The friendship, the sleeping with him, the hurting him—the loving him… It wasn’t supposed to do this to you. You aren’t supposed to be this nervous and so impatient at the same time. You aren’t supposed to feel this stupid either… 

But you do. 

… And that’s okay. 

Sometimes, with love, you’re going to feel a little stupid. You just have to cross your fingers and hope the person you’re being stupid for is just as stupid as you. 

In your case… There’s a good chance he is. 

As you stand on the sidelines, Jungkook places his hand over his eyes to see you clearer. He tilts his head in confusion as you drop your bag. 

Then, just like that…

It happens. 

His thoughts pause, his heart goes still for the nth time, and his world slows down as he takes in the sight of you. Nothing will ever be better than this. The same way he feels an ease when he watches the sunrise—he feels it as he looks at you right now. 

God, he loves you so much. 

He has known it for so long but this… You in this moment; it’s bliss. 

Complete and utter bliss. 

If that isn’t enough… His heart is completely undone the moment he realizes two things: one, you’re wearing his jersey, and two; you’re holding a towel in your arms for him. He can’t help but let a laugh escape his lips. All that shit you said about how you would never be a part of his fan club and how you could never be that girl…

Oh, this is gold. 

Honestly, it’s more than enough. For you to show up and make this effort—it fills his heart. Yet, you’re you. Always full of surprises and ways of making his heart go on overdrive. As he sinks in his thoughts and soaks this moment in; he watches you take a deep breath. Then, slowly but surely, you extend your hand out to him. 

It’s then when he knows it. 

The wait was worth it.

The wait is over.

You and Jungkook sit on a bench, under the technical area’s cover. For a while, you two watch the sunrise in silence. Both too afraid to say anything to ruin the moment—both so undoubtedly in love. Once the sun is fully up, you brace yourself. 

This is it. 

Jungkook turns to you, chasing your eyes. 

“You nervous or something?” he jokes, as he begins to dry his hair with the towel you placed around his neck. 

“Yeah,” you confide. “Am I doing this right?”

Jungkook’s eyes widen as you scoot closer to him and take the towel. In your continued silence, you take over and start to dry his hair. Scrunching the towel, you pat dry his neck and cheeks. He gulps, unsure of what to do… He likes it though. He likes that you’re taking care of him and that you’re trying. He knows you are. 

As you pat dry him, you try to find your words. It takes a moment, but you think to yourself… It’s now or never, right? You’re already here. You’ve already folded. 

It catches Jungkook off guard when you suddenly tug him close. Putting the towel aside, you cup his cheeks with your hands. Your hands are cold, but he doesn’t mind. If anything, he’s holding himself back from kissing them. With a pout on your lips, you begin your confession. 

“I hate being your friend.” 

Jungkook squints at you and chuckles. He removes your hands from his cheeks, smirking at you. “What bullshit are you on now? Didn’t we agree on—”

“I never agreed,” your eyebrows knit together. “It’s been like… A day and a half and I’m going crazy being your stupid friend.”

“Fine,” he snaps. “Enemies?”

His suggestion annoys you.

You lift your hand to hit him, but he catches your wrist. Then, he opens his hands for you. You sigh teasingly but take it. Intertwining your fingers together, you two sit in silence again for a moment. 

Holding hands, watching as the rain pours, and preparing to give your hearts to one another… It feels like this could be a dream.

“Tae and Yuna, ” you begin, breaking the silence. Your voice sounds weary and desperate. “They’ve been friends since the very beginning. He always had feelings for her and she did too… But she didn’t do anything about it until it was too late. He’s dating Mina’s friend now or something—it’s so messed up. It’s so unfair, y-you know? They deserve each other so much and I—”

“Breathe,” Jungkook comforts you. “They’ll figure it out.”

“I don’t want that to be us,” you blurt. 

Jungkook blinks at you. 

“It’s so scary. Jungkook, I don’t want that to be us… B-but it is us, isn’t it? Y-you hate me because of—“

His eyebrows knit together. “___, I don’t hate you. Don’t say that.”

Your lips quiver, unsure of how to navigate through this talk. Maybe you should have planned it better. Maybe you should have written this whole speech out instead of word-vomiting like this… But that’s the thing. 

You aren’t good at this.

Regardless, you’ll try for him.

“I’ve been selfish,” you admit, letting your eyes dart to the field. You can’t look at him. It feels too overwhelming to.  “I’ve been inconsiderate and I know I can’t justify my actions because they hurt you—I just need you to know that I was scared. It was so scary trusting you, falling asleep beside you, and waking up next to you. It was so scary watching you laugh with other girls and not knowing how to tell you how I felt… I’m sorry I started fights while trying to figure out how I felt about myself… Honestly? I think I was so scared because you made it so easy.”

A beat.

“T-the truth is… I’ve always known how I felt about you.” 

Jungkook can’t help but smile. He wonders if you know what you’re doing to him… Do you? He’s afraid you don’t.

“Really?” he pries, moving closer to you. “How do you feel about me?”

Attempting to be intimidating, you turn to face him with a glare. 

“D-don’t push it.”

Jungkook pouts. “But I want to know… Please, please, please?”

For a moment you contemplate. Then, you look at him and take it all in. His wet hair, soft eyes, and pouting lips… How were you ever strong enough to say no to him before? Truly, you’re a changed woman.

Curling your fist, you shut your eyes and say it. You tell him the whole truth. 

You give him your heart. 

“You said you got ahead of yourself… But have you ever considered that I was beside you the entire time? L-like you said you’ve had feelings for me since the first time you made me laugh… Me too. I knew it then too. I just didn’t know what to do because every time I dated guys, it all felt the same… With you, it was different from the start. I don’t know how to explain it… All I know is that I like you in every way it’s possible to like someone—I like you. My heart has been yours all along. I’m sorry it took me so long to give it to you. It just felt like everything with you kept falling into place and I was terrified I was f-falling too… I think—n-no, I… Umm, I know that I…”

Something others may not know about Jungkook is that he’s consistently bad at one thing. That one thing is playing it cool when it comes to you. He has to fight his inner demons to stop himself from professing his love for you every 10 minutes. So, it would be a lie that he wasn’t loving this. He loves watching you feel what he feels. 

Your words, sweet and well-awaited, completely captivate him. 

He can’t help it when you’re like this. So perfect, so cute, so his. He can’t resist!

Which is why he kisses you mid-confession. 

Jungkook kisses you slowly and deeply. Like never before, you lose your breath from how passionately he kisses you. Once you two pull away, he rests his forehead against yours. Smiling, he sneaks in a couple more kisses. 

Timidly, you say, “So… You aren’t mad at me anymore?”

With a laugh, Jungkook shakes his head. “God, you drive me crazy.”

“So… That’s a no, right?” 

Jungkook rolls his eyes and purses his lips. You press your lips against them and kiss him once more. 

“___?”

“Y-yeah?”

“... I checked my phone a moment ago and Yuna ratted you out. She texted me like ten minutes before you came. Said if you don't show up I should knock on your door and fuck your feelings out of you.” You gasp, burying your face with your hands. Sighly dramatically, Jungkook makes a cheeky comment. “Once again, I waited for you.” 

You hit his chest playfully. In pure disbelief, you groan at him. “What? Y-you knew and still made me do the whole speech—”

"I didn’t know!” You ignore his claim. “Although, I wouldn't have had any issue fucking the feelings out of you—"

"Are you insane?" you fume. "I was literally sick to my stomach trying to get this confession thing done right!"

“I was excited!” He teases, and nudges you. You remain annoyed at him. Jungkook can’t help but find it cute. “Awh, ___! Come on. It’s not every day that a guy gets to see his girl in his jersey, holding a towel for him on the sidelines! Also… I just really wanted to see what all your fuss was about. I promise, I didn’t know.”

It’s too late. 

Just as you stand up and storm away from the embrassment, Jungkook catches up to you. Out on the field, the rain continues to pour on you two. Drying him off was useless if you were going to be this dramatic. 

As he catches your wrist, you shove him away and cross your arms. 

“I feel stupid,” you sigh. “Y-you knew how I felt about you. I was worried and anxious the entire time and y-you knew!” 

Jungkook shuts his eyes and can’t believe how feisty you are. It’s entertaining and frustrating at the same time. God, you were so complex… But at the same time, he knows you’re just afraid. This is you finding an out. This is also you trying to stay. 

He takes your hand. 

You don’t shake him off say anything. 

You let him take it. 

He holds it like it’s all he has ever wanted to do (it is all he has ever wanted to do).

“I didn’t know everything! Hey, the fuss was cute,” he ensures you. “Do it again.”

“No!” you cry, feeling your clothes start to stick to your skin. It’s pouring now and you instantly regret being dramatic.

Except, Jungkook looks so perfect. His hair is wet and his shirt is soaked so you can see the way his muscles curve. He’s so handsome that you have to gather all your strength as a woman to keep yourself from jumping on him.

“This shit is so hard!” you complain through the rain. “How did you do this? You confessed like every time we fucked—”

“Yah!” Jungkook warns, feeling a little embarrassed. Maybe he should be the one to storm away now…  “Be nice to me or else I’m about to reject you.”

You roll your eyes at him. Grabbing him by the collar, you tug him to your eye level. Happily, he complies. 

“Do it then,” you call his bluff. “Reject me right now.”

Jungkook looks into your eyes, loving the way you look at him. He blinks at you slowly and bites his inner cheek. For a moment, he’s silent. You’d think he’s contemplating or something… But he’s not. He’s been sure about you since your first laugh, remember?

“Kinda cruel considering you’re all I’ve been waiting for,” Jungkook confesses, as he dips his head low and kisses you. 

As he kisses you, you squeeze his hand. Holding his hand tighter, he smiles into the kiss. The rain continues to pour, making everything feel unreal. As he pulls away, he looks at you the way he always has… This time, you get what Yuna was talking about.

The warmth in his gaze.

The love in it.

The you in it.

After what felt like endless heartache with other boys—this felt healing. 

This was yours. 

Him. 

And that’s when your heart tells you something you never knew… 

You waited well too. 

You two escape the rain and make it to your place.

In your bedroom, you quickly get undressed and sit in front of your mirror to dry your hair. Jungkook comes out of the washroom all clean. Passing by you, he plants a kiss on the top of your head. You watch from the mirror as he reaches inside your closet for one of his shirts. 

Your high from the moment at the field suddenly dies. Suddenly, you realize the confession wasn’t enough to move forward. For fucks sake, he has his clothes in your closet.

“Jungkook?” you ask cutely.

“Mhmm?” he responds as he dresses himself.

You almost choke on your words. “What are we?” 

He grins, coming back to you and swaying you side to side. Without batting an eye, he answers: “friends, of course!”

Instantly, you push him away. Your shoulders slump as you glare at him. He laughs his ass off, loving the way you reacted. When he calms down, he kneels in front of you and apologizes. 

“Okay, bestie,” you play along as he gets up. “Should we eat perilla leaves to celebrate?” 

Jungkook’s mouth drops. His eye practically twitches at the mention of perilla leaves.

Throwing his hands up dramatically, he cries, “Oh god... My girlfriend is so mean to me… She’s so hot, holy shit.”

Girlfriend.

That sounds about right.

He’s so big. 

Sometimes, you forget that.

It slips your mind because Jungkook has always been a giver. You never really had to worry about it being uncomfortable. He makes sure you cum first and always puts his needs above yours—tonight was a prime example of just that. 

As he towers over you, he leaves a trail of kisses from your neck to your lips. Each kiss is so soft and intimate, your pussy clenches at his very touch. It doesn’t help when he places his thumb on your clit, rubbing and stretching it out to stimulate you even more. As you moan into his ear, he feels shivers go down his back. 

You gasp as he bites your skin, enticing you to want him even more. 

“Jungkook,” you breathe, “put it in, please.”

“Mhmm,” he moves the hair strands on your face and kisses you. “Be good for me, okay? Be patient. Gonna fuck you good so I need you to be on your best behaviour.”

“B-best behaviour,” you repeat rather lewdly. “Okay… W-whatever you want, love. You have it. You have me.”

Love.

God, you and your fucking words.

Jungkook bites his bottom lip, trying his best to take his time. Truth be told, he wants to fuck you silly right now. He wants you so bad that your legs won’t work and he’ll have to tend to your soreness. He wants to fuck you so good that you scream his name and lose yourself in him… But he’ll take his time tonight. 

He wants to show you so much. He wants to show you how good he can make you feel. How you won’t ever regret your decision of being with him. He wants to show you what kind of man you chose and what kind of man you get to have.

A good man.

A man that has wanted you for so long that now that he has you—oh was he ready to drag it out.

Jungkook gently places his dick in between your folds. It’s hard and thick. You can feel it against your wet pussy and want nothing more than for him to put it in. Instead, Jungkook lifts himself and sits in between your legs. There, he holds the base of his cock and slaps it against your pussy. He rubs his cock up and down your folds. Then, he splits them open with his fingers and spits on it. He then spreads his spit with his cock. You feel so lucky when he pokes it inside once in a while. Like a tease, he takes it out so quickly that you begin to feel frustrated. 

“P-put it in, please…”

Jungkook smirks. 

“Put what in?”

You glare at him.

“Your hard, thick, stupid cock. Put it in my wet, needy, desperate pussy right now… Please?”

Jungkook lets out a sexy chuckle. “Not yet,” he tells you, as he fully stops. He then moves over and helps you sit up. Leaning against your headboard, he spreads your legs. Just when you think you can predict his next move, he reaches over to your nightstand and grabs his phone. Unlocking it, he passes it to you.

“Film me.”

You nod, following his orders.

Tapping record, you angle the camera to your pussy. You watch through the phone screen as Jungkook positions his face in between your legs. Gulping, you throw your head back as he makes his first lick. 

Jungkook holds onto your thighs, helping you keep your legs open. He digs himself into your pussy, devouring every inch of it. To deepen himself, he digs his nose in and curls his tongue as he licks you. When he pulls away for air, he sucks on your clit making sure to keep you on your toes. 

“Oohhh,” you sob. “S-so good. J-Jungkook—“

“Mhmm,” he murmurs onto your skin. “Tastes so good.”

“A-aghhh! Oh my god!”

The thing is… Jungkook has eaten you out before.

But this was different.

It was slow and sensual. The way he licks you and eats you out just feels so surreal. Your toes curl, your stomach winces, and your pussy tightens as you’re about to climax—

Jungkook pulls away. 

He has a devilish look on his face. You stop the recording and toss his phone aside. Suddenly, he takes hold of your ankles and tugs you down. On your back, you open your arms and welcome him in again. Gladly, he buries himself in your breasts and moans at your softness. 

“That was—“

“Everything my girl deserves,” he tells you sweetly. “My girl…”

“Your girl,” you pull him in for a kiss. “All yours..”

Jungkook moans, unable to stop himself. He lifts his hips, making space for him to quickly pump his cock before guiding it inside you.

… And oh my god.

He feels so good.

Him inside you is so fulfilling and healing. 

“You okay?”

You nod, mesmorized by the man he is.

“More than.”

With that, Jungkook kisses you and begins to fuck you. He thrusts in and out, making you feel his entire length with each stroke. Your body takes him in as if it’s welcoming him home. As he feeds you your craving, he picks up the pace. You wrap your legs around him, moaning from how good it feels as he buries himself in you. 

“F-fuck,” Jungkook hisses. “Love this. Feels so good.”

“Mhmm,” you whimper. “J-just like that!”

Jungkook continues to fuck you, drilling himself deeper and deeper. Soon, you’re chanting his name and his ego begins to boom.

Jungkook fucks you like he loves you… And you know it. You can feel it. To express so, you claw his back. Digging your nails deeper and deeper, holding him close.

“N-nghhh! I’m gonna cum—”

“Cum for me, pretty girl. You behaved so well,” he praises. “Proud of you.”

Your heart flutters. 

Then, your pussy clenches as you release. He feels it. Jungkook groans, accepting that this round will be over soon. There will be plenty more, for sure. As he pumps inside you lazily, cautious of being sensitive to your climax but also because he’s hitting his. 

Then, he creams your pussy. It oozes out, but he pumps himself a few more times to stuff you.

As he spills himself onto you, he lets out heavy breaths and collapses on top of you. You let him catch his breath there as you tangle your fingers in his hair. 

“I love you,” you confess. 

“Good… I was hoping you would.” Jungkook lets out a tired laugh. “I love you too, ___. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. You’re everything I’ve ever loved.”

You hold him tighter.

“I love you more.”

Jungkook bursts into laughter. “Love, we are not going to play that game.”

Tilting your head at him. “Why not? It’s true.”

“You think you love me more than I love you?”

“Mhmm.”

“Prove it.”

With that, Jungkook laughs as you shift position. Leaving him on his back, you climb on top and straddle him. As you lift yourself to guide his dick inside, he lets out a whiney moan. You are so sexy. You are quite literally his favourite part of living.

“I’ll prove it,” you accept the challenge. “Will you last though?”

Jungkook’s lips slight part, amazed and shocked at your initiative. In response, he relaxes and gestures at your body. There’s a tightness that overcomes his entire body. It’s mixed with excitement and relief. For the nth time, he gives in.

Jungkook folds.

Happily, he gives himself to you.

“With you? Forever.”

Forever.

After 3 rounds, you two call it a night. As you drift to sleep, Jungkook holds you. Before this, you two talked as much as you could and even began to make plans. There is an indescribable comfort in being with each other.

Upcoming dates.

Better ways to communicate.

Everything and anything in between—you two want it all.

As the rain pours, Jungkook finally shuts his eyes. He pulls you closer, kissing you for the final time tonight. There would be tomorrow to kiss you anyway.

Tomorrow and the day after that… And the day after that. And the days that follow—he’d do just that.

He can’t wait to kiss you forever.

To hold your hand forever.

To love you forever.

For the first time in a while, Jungkook finds rest. His heart stays still and feels loved. Besides, this is what he has wanted to be all along—

Close to you.

[glowinggreenfrog]

I FINISHED BOYS OVER FLOWERS!!

I have thoughts so this will be long w/ spoilers.

Last night, I finished my 24 hours of boys over flowers manga read-a-thon and I had to sit and ponder at the ending- in the best way.

I am going to miss this series so much.

The Little Mermaid Question

From my last post, yes , of course I was happy that Umi was humbled-or at least hopefully she clues into it someday. I was gagged and gooped.

The reference to the little mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen by Makino solidified this series as a top 3 manga for me. She had my heart when she said

“Why should I be sea foam?”.

It put the good in Goodbye

The call backs from the beginning of the manga were so perfectly woven in as it got closer.

Seeing it all referenced felt like a warm smile. I have to admit, it felt bittersweet knowing why they were here again. I loved that hitting someone with a baseball was how he got his memories back, and bringing up her dropped friend character.

The pacing was refreshing and not heavy. It felt like I could breathe still. The sushi restaurant was a cute reunion. Especially, the detail that she jump ropes in her apartment still.

Yuki

At first, I was annoyed with how much time we spent with Yuki—Only because I was so stressed knowing how little time was left!!

Thankfully, I told myself to relax because I really loved that plot. I felt so stressed for her, and it was so well written. Yuki is such a cool character and storyline.

The billboard reveal with Sarah gagged me. Also that she took him back up on the offer, and I was moved to see she was a different person now. She grew so much.

I loved them all eating cake until dawn.

Also loved Makino craving ramen after. I love that her and Tsukasa were alone eating soup in the restaurant. (Well more just Makino). It was cute.

This chapter fed the girls who don’t end up with their first love, and it was done so thoughtfully. It also made me accept if our main couple don’t end up together, or grow together.

They can change as people, and grow apart. That’s normal. They don’t need to prove to anyone that their love was genuine and they tried. Looking back, I am so happy this was included in the end.

Main couple

And speaking of our main couple. The four year drop…..

I literally had to put my phone down. And scream breathe.

Quit playing.

Violence, maybe is the answer.

Esp. After the memory loss plot?!

I took a metaphorical drag of a metaphorical cigarette here, and I chewed on that metaphorical smoke before blowing it out.

But…that’s so them! They don’t give us fanservice for them much at peace and although that made me so upset, but we have the whole series to look back on.

It took me throughout the day (even after jewel box) to forgive him for that.

I was thinking about how the hospital arc ended and he’s such a different person without Makino, I can see how she changed him, and now he can be on equal footing with her. She helped him challenge himself and his mom, and live for something.

I am grateful Rui told her to live for herself, and I appreciate her family coming through for her senior year. It was all very true to their chaotic and broke characters and the timing of them trying to move all the time.

Also, the almost hookup!! Her well badly timed fever. I am happy it didn’t happen, because I felt like their story has to continue now.

Also it wasn’t really them. It’s too planned.

We know it has to be after a fight lmaoo.

I think if they did go through with it, it would have been harder to live so far apart too.

I cannot believe that she woke up alone. Not even 24 hours with her guy? At the same time, I like that it must’ve help cement that she didn’t want to leave Japan.

I only wish he planned the date to be closer to home for the vibes to be more immaculate, but I know that it is not his vibe, and there was too much going on (new job, graduating, prom, etc.).

It felt like a cop-out on their first planned trip abroad as a couple. The proposal idea was funny, I genuinely laughed with how much she couldn’t stand the roses smell. I would think the same.

I am sending a theme that he is terrible with grand romantic gestures.

Conclusion

Amazing Shoujos are so life changing, and truly the strongest genre. I love a manga that makes you cry. It makes me love love and remember how fuzzy you feel in it, and I needed that lately. This is so close to my heart.

I regretted reading it so fast but then I remembered how I can read it again and that made me more excited.

I loved the characters. I want to watch the anime (I am begging for a remake in the style of lost heroine).

I saw a lot of other female pro tags in our Makino. Like Kagome from Inuyasha in our main girl, and it’s interesting that their timelines match up production wise! I like that I can see Mao Mao from Apothecary Diaries a bit in her too. They’re going to be themselves whether people like it or not!

Then like the greedy child I am, I had to reach for the jewel-box volume because FOUR YEARS?YOUR TELLING ME NOTHING HAPPENS? I know I don’t need to know all the answers and our characters are strong, but I was excited for a peek.

So…I already finished it. I might make a separate post for that, but honestly this ending helped me feel at peace. It felt more like a cherry on top (and who am I kidding I love more Rui).

I don’t know if I can start the season 2 yet, but I am tempted. I miss hearing Tsukasa’s mis-entendre of phrases and things! Like light and day. I also just want to think about the story more.

I remember I downloaded Jump to read this series. I forgot after the signup process (lol), read one piece instead and thankfully remembered it. It is 100% up in my favorite mangas (a growing list but I love this manga so much).

This was so fun to read.

Honestly? 10/10.

It’s camp, timeless, insane and it knows it. It loves it. It is also mature, heartfelt and honest. The author truly loved crafting this.

I also love her updates throughout! Reading this in time must’ve been a treat and hell.

[navybrat817]

Lmaoo, I haven’t told her about the hair dye I sent to her house yet😂

You’re so right😍 imma ask my roommate if she minds if I bring them back with me and just hide them during room checks😂 my building is like that too!! I live in a cluster style dorm, and two weeks ago one of my flatmates had texted us asking if we knew why the police was in our building. None of us knew they were there; I had just gotten off from work, I’m walking back to my dorm and she’s like someone stunk the whole building up with weed😭😭 When i tell you I felt like I got punched in the face after I walked into our pod 😭 had flashbacks to when I worked at the grocery store and every so often I would have that one customer who smelled like they smoked 10g💀 I don’t smoke but I definitely got a free buzz every now and then😂

My mother and I went to Walmart a few weeks ago and they have their Halloween squishmallows out. I’ve been meaning to get one and since I was going home I was like “I’m gonna get one just to make her mad.”😈 My mother was like get the one she really wants which she thought was either this black cat or this green one dressed in a pumpkin costume, but I didn’t like either of them at the time so I got the one I wanted which was this purple ghost holding a pumpkin. We get home, she comes to the living room and I’m like look what I got and when I tell you her reaction had me dead😂 it turned out that I had gotten the one she really wanted and she was so upset 😂 she was like “how you gonna get the one that I wanted and not get me one too😐” and I was like “don’t you got a job”😂 so that’s that and I will in fact be getting another one just to spite her😈

LITERALLY THE BIGGEST ENABLER I KNOW🙉🤣 if it were a job you would be RICH, bath and body works should sponsor you at this point 😂💗

I don’t smoke but I definitely got a free buzz every now and then😂

When I took my kiddos to the amusement park recently, we caught a whiff a few times. And when my moot and I went to Magic Men. 😂

It turned out I had gotten the one she really wanted and she was so upset 😂

That's peak sibling energy right there. 😂 My hubby is an only child and the first time he was around my siblings and I, he was like 😐. I thought he was going to dump me because of how crazy my family is.

LITERALLY THE BIGGEST ENABLER I KNOW 🙉🤣

I like to encourage people in a healthy way! 🥰 It would be nice to get a profit from candle sales. 🤣

Speaking of candles. 👀 What scents do we think Bucky would like?

Love and thanks! ❤️

[wulvercazz]

grimmichigrimmichigrimmichi >:3333 (pairing meme)

heheh okay- so shiP IT ofc 😂 .. but here's the answers;

What made you ship it?

so... I have a very specific list of qualities I look for when it comes to my favorite male characters. And Grimmjow fit them all 😂💕

When I first watched Bleach the only thing I shipped was IchiRuki, bc naturally that was the only way to go for me tbh, but then Grimm appeared and I was obsessed. When it comes to otps for me, first I find a fave character, then I consider the possible pairings. Not any other way. And with Grimmjow... well the only option for me was Ichigo tbh.

Not to discredit any other Grimmjow ships, I've done a few of them myself, but with how passionately these two throw themselves at each other I truly couldn't look any other way. Lol

So tldr; Grimmjow's got slut potential and I dig that, and they're too into each other for me not to see "gay" plastered all over them 💫

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Hmmm 🤔maybe how inherently feral it is, canon-wise. Also how harmonious their overall designs are together, there's nothing nicer than a pair that looks good together, at least as an artist. Also how easy they are (for me at least) to write/draw; I have a hard time focusing on one thing for long enough to get good at things (hence the many AUs lol!) so for me to have a ship I draw constantly for more than four years now... is truly astounding lmao. They helped me grow soooo much so they hold a dear dear place in my heart just bc of that alone.

And because of that last one: how easy it is to apply AUs to themmmm ;w;<33333 I can legit think of anything and make an AU out of it and not struggle too much to find the perfect place for them in it.

And also,, sort of fave sort of least fave- that it's not an overly popular ship in general (ik it's popular in the Bleach fandom itself, but rather; not popular like a ship from BNHA or JJK). Why; bc I get to have my quiet space where I draw all the ideas I want and yet have had verY few people throw insults at me for some of my darker stuff 😂 Bigger fandoms I've interacted with (as a viewer mostly) have had issues popping up left and right, people getting upset over dumb shit and letting that grow to huge proportions, "antis" everywhere... yeahhhh no thanks 😖

but also-- it gets verY quiet at times specially for someone who's so picky. Like, if I could find a fandom space like the exclusive bottom Bakugo enthusiasts I followed on twt (and even bought a whole zine about) but for GriMMJOW??? WOOF😭💕 so yeah,,, love-hate situation on this last bit lmaooo

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

A few 😂😭 everyone who's followed my art for a certain amount of time can probs tell how the 'tism really affects how I enjoy ships lmaoooo I have to enjoy them a very specific certain way so... that means I don't partake at all on a good few of the popular tropes for the ship. Some I can think of rn; damsel-in-distress!Ichigo, overly hurtful!Grimm (although this one is more old fandom I think 🤔? I remember, in a lot of fics back then, Grimmjow was portrayed a lot as this violent rapist adgdfddfdff not for me lmaoo), ofc top!Grimm, Grimmjow acting all macho relationship wise, and too much angst (I think this ship (and Ichigo in general lets be honest) can call for a lot of angst in fic so I totally get it- but ...meh, if it's not romaticized/sexualized angst, idc for it adgdfgf I don't like it when they actually suffer 😭)

OOH OH! ALSO --- making them OOC in AUs CAN be great actually (to me at least). I know a lot of people (not just here, but in any ship/fandom/etc) don't love OOC characterizations of their fave characters/ships (hence why it's a tag we use tbh) but I personally love that at times??? I won't do it all the time and all over the place... but AUs where there's space to make Grimm less violent? or Ichigo less friendly/loving??? While still within their canon character potentials--- hecC yes. >:)ccc

Also ofc; that I wish it was still common to tag ships as top-bottom like it is with HoEn/EnHo (bnha), VK/KV /trigun, KRBK/BKKR (bnha) etc or at least tag it some other way along the ship.... it would be sO much easier to filter out stuff i don't want to see instead of having to mute/block a whole person I would still love to see stuff from.

BuT I am aware most have no preference whatsoever lmaO so... yeah nothing I can do there except not follow people pfFFF 😂😭 (and wait until I find peeps with similar tastes aasdfs)

[wendytestabrat]

why kyle is actually the one gaslighting cartman, NOT the other way around (FROM THE VAULT [2021])

Kyle gaslighted Cartman for YEARS into making Cartman look like the crazy one just for Cartman calling Kyle out on his shit bc Kyle just couldn’t fucking handle any criticism LMAOOOO. I mean yes, Cartman isn’t perfect he has his flaws, and yeah Cartman shouldn’t have been stereotyping Kyle and shit for being a Jew but all Kyle did was just make Cartman worse and act even more crazy for constantly trying to make him look like the bad one. We saw in this episode here how Cartman does have a heart and he’s capable of redeeming himself and Kyle is STILL acting like a little bitch so that says A LOT. I saw people on Tumblr like “everyone’s gaslighting Kyle 😪” like no bitch can you not see how much Kyle gaslighted Cartman???? I hate how whenever Cartman would get on Kyle’s ass about something and accuse Kyle of shit throughout the show, everyone just took Kyle’s side and thought Cartman was being a bully to Kyle. It’s not Cartman’s fault Kyle’s a little pussy and can’t take a joke jesus fuck. Like yeah, the Jew jokes were irrational, but a lot of the time Cartman was just making valid points about Kyle and calling him out on his shitty behavior just like Kyle had been doing to Cartman. It really shows how fucked up and manipulative Kyle is that he got away with always framing himself as the innocent victim and Cartman as the bad one just bc he couldn’t fucking take any insults or criticism LMAOO. I remember in the early seasons Cartman would get really upset at Kyle for him making fun of him for being fat, but in the later seasons Kyle still would call Cartman fat and fatass all the time and Cartman wouldn’t even care or say anything anymore, and he even admitted he was fat in the episode “Raising the Bar”. But Kyle still always gets offended whenever Cartman makes fun of him for being a Jew (which he hardly does anymore). Cartman’s been trying and trying for years to stand up to Kyle and defend himself bc Kyle’s been bullying Cartman and shit but whenever Cartman speaks up for himself he just gets framed as the bad guy and Kyle is the innocent angel saving the day. Kyle just projected all of his bullshit and all of his flaws onto Cartman for years and Cartman had to carry the weight around of that with him and that made Cartman act even more crazy and evil. And I think it always did annoy Cartman how Stan always believed Kyle and agreed with Kyle no matter what. Which was why in this episode Cartman told Stan he doesn’t stand up to Kyle enough but that also reminded me of this moment in the episode “Rehash” where Cartman is like “Stan is such a douchebag he agrees with Kyle no matter what”. Cartman was always a huge dick to Stan & Kyle bc they were huge dicks to him, and neither of them ever had his back and defended him. They were always bullies to Cartman about him not having a dad and him being fat and stuff like that which Cartman had every right to be upset about. And this is def a big reason why Cartman likes to hang out with characters like Kenny and Butters a lot. I mean it’s also bc he can take advantage of them and shit but also Butters is like the only kid that’s actually been nice to Cartman LMAOOO. After watching that episode tho it’s definitely making me second guess Kyman. Like honestly Kyle doesn’t even deserve to have Cartman in his life anymore after the way he treated him, I hope Cartman can get some peace and happiness away from that douchebag HDJDJSJSK. I really thought that after Cartman redeemed himself with the pangolin shit Kyle would grow the fuck up too once he saw that Cartman had matured but it really sucked that Kyle just seems to be getting worse and worse.

[miniimapp]

jealousy hcs for 4town⭐️?

pls and thank uu

Gen ;; Kinda-Angst-if-You-Squint-Hard-Enough+ Fluff - Headcanons

Warnings ;; Jealousy (it's insanely mild lmao)

Proofread + Edited ;; falalala

Auth. Note ;; Only took me like 12 decades to finish this.. my bad.

As I said in my A-Z headcanons for each member I don't think they get jealous easily as they trust their partner but emotions happen sometimes yk

For each of these the context is they just came back from a world tour without you and want to spend time catching up,, hcs will differ from here

Enjoy !! <3

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Aaron T - Koala Mode Activated

Ordinarily T doesn't feel jealous

His biggest competitor for your attention would probably be the internet, or cute animals, or cute animals on the internet, so he's never felt that threatened

Every now and again though ??

Something just makes his hair stand on end

T doesn't like feeling jealous in any capacity

So how does he deal with it ??

By literally smothering himself in your love

No actually though

You though he was clingy before ??

Mans is a whole ass koala from here on out

You are the tree

This is your life now

Welcome and get used to it

T had only recently gotten back from the band's biggest tour yet

Amazing experience, 10/10 he assures you, but what he really wants now is to relax with you until you both become a part of the furniture

It's a little bit hard to do that when you're at a friends house and he's at home

T's happy that you're having a good time but not now when you're supposed to be relaxing in your pajamas, watching shitty horror movies with him

Does he feel like a bit of an asshole ?? Yeah.. but he misses you..

And well,, he'd hoped you'd missed him too..

So when you text him asking him to come pick you up ?? Mans is breaking that speed limit like its a god damn challenge

Ain't no such worry as tickets when hugs are on the line,, yknow ??

The moment, and I meant the moment, T sees you ??

Octopus

Immediately

You know those mukbang videos with the live squid (poor babies TT^TT) ??

They're actually doing and impression of T,, not the other way around

The more you know..

So whether its slight, harmless jealously or T's genuinely upset ??

Octopus

Ain't no way anyone can even try it on you if T's wrapped around you like a second skin..

Jesse - Height Has Its Advantages

Look man,, Jesse's tall as shit there ain't no way he doesn't use that fully to his advantage

Like,, you're just living life, getting flirted with like the mega chad you are or whateva

Suddenly there's this huge shadow over your shoulder and your conversation partner has suddenly decided to take up running..

Weird..

If you look over to Jesse he'll start with the innocent whistling act whilst refusing to look at you

Look man,, when you have legs long enough that people confuse them for stilts why tf wouldn't you use them for intimidation purposes ??

I mean,, it's just friendly flirting

At least to you it is,, and Jesse knows that

Hey,, he partakes in a fair bit of it himself so that not the issue

No,, it's the other person taking it seriously

And Jesse isn't about to scrap some rando behind some building

But he will become the very essence of the standing man emoji

That's his only line of defence

Kinda pathetic ngl because if the subject of intimidation is ready to throw hands.. well.. Jesse's fucked

But most of the time, if not all, the height scares those serious flirters away

Mans is literally giving spooky stilts lmaoo

Like spooky spoon but spooky stilts.. don't think anyone will get that but I think it's funny lmao

Anyways but like he'll literally watch you watch the flirter run away with their tail between their legs and then just give the silliest "Are you feeling wooed ??" type look

Dumbass

Aaron Z - It's Home Time

Z's a simple man

He's also a tired,, he just got back from a tour..

There's just literally no need to play mental gymnastics

The quickest way to get from point A to point B is a straight ass line so why tf would he go in a circle,, ya feel ??

Talking around things is tiring and ends in arguments that lead nowhere

What's the point,, yknow ??

If Z's not feeling it,, he's gonna tell you

You guys are out on a low-key date type thing

And since Z feels too jetlagged to function, you've organised it just to his tastes

A small tea shop where you two can just talk and relax

It's literally perfect

If only the waiter would stop staring you down like a carnival prize they really want to win

Yeah,, Z isn't a fan of that look

He especially isn't a fan of when the waiter takes it upon himself to hand you their number alongside your drink

Mans has seen good customer service..

This shit ain't it..

So Z taps the table to get your attentions and simply asks to leave

Simple

Once you agree,, Z goes up to pay and you both skedaddle on out of there

But not before Z sneaks in a small, teeny tiny complaint about the work ethic of some the staff

After all, he'd never want such a fine establishment to gain a reputation

It's all for the good of the company

And if Z sticks his tongue at them as you both leave, well there's certainly no evidence

Robaire - Smiling on the Outside, Plotting a Murder On the Inside

The definition of unsubtle, yknow ??

Like,, Robaire will just flirt with you until the cause of his jealousy just disappears

Pet names,, light touches,, complete eye contact with you to the point of ignoring everyone and everything else

That's the strategy

And if that ain't working ??

Prepare to be wooed,, he's coming in hot,, okay ??

You thought he was flirting before ?? Man is flirting aggressively now lmao

No,, literally prepare yourself, you're not ready

Robaire isn't playing games,, he will proceed to make out with you right here, right now if that is what it comes to

Ro just wanted some down time with you after touring for however long

And he refuses to let your unbearably clingy friend ruin your time together

He will, however, ruin their time with you

Hey man,, he's the partner,, he has right of way lmao

Ro's simply not vibing with the way your friend is clutching onto your arm

Almost as if they've been away on a world tour for lord knows how many months

Huh...

Funny that..

So I mean,, if you don't mind getting attacked with affection Ro's definitely your guy lmao

Mans thinks he's slick too..

Comes over and just aggressively flirts with you, all the while he's sending death glares at his nemesis

Please be advised that Ro is currently going through Google maps in his mind to figure out the perfect place to hide the body

He's so silly goofy like that

Tae Young - Aggressively Passive

Tae is the type of make fun of stereotypically jealous people and mock them then immediately get all sulky the moment their partner interacts with someone else

It's a glorious thing to witness every single time

Truly

Literally Tae will laugh at some dude trying to intimidate other guys but will turn the puppy eyes on you as soon as your attention is elsewhere

And to the stealer of your attention ??

Only the pettiest of exchanges are deserved

Tae will go out of his way to make them uncomfortable around him

He will put on the sweetest, most upbeat persona and proceed to shit on and backhand compliment this poor person with the biggest smile on his face

You'd feel bad if it wasn't kinda funny to witness lmao

And it is !!

It's really funny to just watch people get overwhelmed with the mixed signals that are Tae

Yknow ??

Like,, the sweet persona is so good that people believe that he's being super nice until they actually listen to the words falling from his lips

AND THIS CAN TAKE SO LONG

People have had full ass conversations, finished them and only realised laying in bed at home that Tae was fucking with them

IT'S SO GOOD

Definitely feels super proud of himself after every encounter

Like,, fuck yeah he just showed them who's boss

He did not, in fact, show them who's boss - they think he's the sweetest thing since apple strudel

Oh well, at least they're not stealing you away anymore 🤷‍♀️

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Hope you enjoyed !! <3

[camellcat]

scrambled thoughts about s4 bc I'm losing my goddamned MIND

just finished s4 of Doctor Who. quick question: how the hell do you go on without Rose Tyler? I can't even imagine I literally. what.

like once s3 rolled around I really fuckin realized I was apparently very much watching this show for ROSE and her dynamic with the Doctor, not the Doctor himself or whatever else lmaoo

ONLY Rose has made me bawl my eyes out, let alone even tear up at all. I just can't even fathom being able to connect with any other plot or character like I did with her and her love for the Doctor.

I just ohh for all of s3 most of s4 I just missed her so much??? like Martha and Donna are great (well, I didn't like Martha at first and you can definitely guess why based on all of this but once s4 rolled around she was great!! loved her) but oh my god they were just no Rose Tyler.

plus WOW I really got so attached to her relationships with other people?? like Donna and Martha's families n whatnot made me feel NOTHING whereas I could not get enough of Jackie and adored Mickey (Mickey is family. he is. I don't care if he's her ex or whatever. he's part of the family). Captain Jack Harkness my one true love (btw just sayin I really think Rose and the Doctor should've gotten a hello kiss. maybe not the Doctor he did not deserve one for leaving Jack but Rose did!! hello!!! you gave them "I'm going to go die" kisses give them "hello we're all still alive missed you" kisses!!!). idk if maybe I was just so clocked out of s3-4 that I missed something but I swear those two just had like no really compelling personal relationships outside of the Doctor, and maybe like one specific family member (lookin at you, gramps).

the fact that Rose ended up liking Martha and Donna though??? dfindsnjdj dying dying DYING I love that she would've been friends with them both. they deserved to all sit and gossip about the Doctor like she did with Sarah Jane right in front of his face.

also oh my god no one why why why please PLEASE I'm not used to consuming sad media I try and avoid it as much as possible and this show is just. just. oh my god.

Rose is so close to what she truly wanted. she'll have a life with the Doctor, but not her Doctor and not the life she fought so hard to get back. instead she's still still still stuck in Pete's World, unable to travel across time and space and save the universe with her Doctor (and don't get me wrong, I love the idea of Tentoo, but it just rubs me the wrong way no matter how I try and look at it. it feels like when a character's memories are erased. they're still technically themselves, but something important is missing all the same. and that thing missing is the TARDIS in this case Tentoo is the best thing she could've gotten lol). I feel like I can't even adequately put it into words why her ending makes me as upset as it does I just hope you Get It. I don't think it would've been good for her to not have ANY other solid relationships like she would've had if she'd gone with the Doctor but also oh my god. oh my god.

and the Doctor is once again without his brilliant, fantastic Rose.

I really hope she doesn't come back though unless it's on her own terms, because she missed her friends or smth. I really hope she's able to travel the world and it be enough for her as long as she's got Tentoo by her side. I really, really hope she's happy and fully in love with Tentoo and they are living the BEST life they can.

Fuck. this SHOW.

[silvergoldraeven]

Okokokok so (assuming) you’re an avid heimes shipper, I’m rlly curious, so like, how do you think (in your resurrection au) kratos would feel if Hermes came back to life out of nowhere and started dating Heimdall??? LMAOO

OR EVEN, WOULD, your au Heimdall even ever be into Hermes at all????? Due to his redemption and all??? KSJDKDJ I can’t stop thinking abt it😭

oh ive thought about this A LOT. like an ungodly amount. i actually at first made a character for Heimdall as a love interest but scrapped it cuz i didnt want it to be a Heimdall x oc thing ya know. then my dear friend (@medievildead) got me Hermespilled- and now i have. better ideas. they wouldnt work with what im actually going for with res!AU cuz itd add sooooo many things and its just. ough. but!

There's so many ways this could go. So Many. (x0k if youre reading this im encouraging you to make a version with your Hermes AU c:)

But i'd like to imagine that Atreus one day just comes home wearing the like ancient Greek travelling outfit and Kratos looks him up and down, goes silent for a few minutes before asking where the fuck and who the fuck he got that from. Atreus just happily going "from this really nice man, had flaming hair, weird little voice but he was cool and- oh there he is-" and just points over to Hermes crawling out of the bushes and yelling "where are my fucking shoes Kratos?!"

i think thats funny, i think that should be canon. Hermes existing and following Atreus home to Midgard opens up so much place for angst with Kratos and Atreus but im not here for that, im here to make 2 people worse. mostly Heimdall, reverse therapy now that Hermes is here /hj

Hermes joining the gang is just like like the Thor scene but Loud and hes like "i brought olives :]" and Kratos lets him in just for that trade tbh.

Kratos asking how tf hes even alive and Hermes replies with "im bugs" without elaborating, we never find out how he's alive.

Uncle Hermes is definitely my fav trope so him bonding with Atreus over atheletics and mischief, mostly bullying Heimdall. Hermes locked eyes with Heimdall and immediately decided that he was a worthy opponent. so their relationship starts with Hermes and Atreus bullying the shit out of Heimdall, who's self growth is really being tested on a daily basis. when Atreus leaves again Heimdall is left with just 1 shithead insisting on making his life harder (but oh so affectionately).

i think Heimdall would actually be more likely to fall for Hermes cuz he finally got that giant stick out of his ass, would probably find his japes and overall mischief endearing, after he warms up to the Greek god.

Hermes is canonically really good at cooking too if im correct so him helping Heimdall with cooking,,, cute. so cute. Hermes teaches Heimdall Greek dishes and Heimdall teaches him Nordic dishes but Hermes usually just goes "this has no flavour" which in return makes Heimdall call him a slur of some kind in offense.

Heimdall showing off Gulltoppr being like "this is my great and loyal beast, he has never left my side for anyone, neither in life or death. he will never be loyal to anyone els-" camera turns to Hermes giving a purring Gully tummy rubs :3

unrelated (sorta) but i think Angrboda and Hermes would actually get along really well.

Hermes being the god of travel drags Heimdall around the 8 realms c o n s t a n t l y. Heimdall hates it, especially since Vanaheim would probably be Hermes' fav realm. but he usually plans a 'surprise' picnic so Heimdall isn't too upset about it :3

Hermes constantly throwing apples at Heimdall. infront of everyone. its funny. most people dont get why Heimdall turns completely red every single time.

if Kratos still has Hermes' boots like he did in the gow 2018 trailer and actually gives them back, Hermes would probs lend them to Atreus occasionally for travelling like the good uncle he is. or as i like to say, buncle. Atreus' bug uncle c:

Hermes would definitely flirt with Heimdall constantly before they start dating just to annoy the living shit out of him which Atreus would find extremely entertaining but once these 2 fuckers start dating they turn their attention back to bullying Atreus. rip my man

Heimdall giving his bf bifrost legs. Hermes deserves bifrost legs. he'd look So Gay. not sure how that'd work but its canon now.

overall i just have many unhinged (normal) thoughts about these 2, too many to put into words but this hopefully gets the point across c:

[riverstardis]

crazy little thing called love:

the previous episode’s post isn’t showing up in the tag for some reason? not for me at least

alicia’s parents are back together… but not for long!

cal’s leaving alicia a surprise in her locker because he feels bad about not trusting her but he discovers that she has a second phone💀

ah alicia’s dad’s “business partner”

oh look they’re kissing!

aand he ends up pinned against a skip by his car🙃

LMAOO alicia goes “ethan you remember my mam yeah?” and he goes “yes, you had the gonorrhoea! … sorry…” SKDKFKKFG WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT😭😭😭 ohhh i miss him

oh yeah this is cal meeting alicia’s parents for the first time lol

i love dylan’s outfit

oop cal’s noticed martin holding howard’s hand

lmaoo ethan telling cal how it was awkward having to treat alicia’s mum after the whole sti thing and cal just didn’t know about that at all so ethan explains how she got it off the dad because “apparently he was sleeping around with other women” and cal’s like “well i’m not sure about that last part” 😭😭😭

cal says do you think being a player runs in the family and shows ethan alicia’s secret phone and guesses her pin because she’d leant him her bank card to get drinks one night (her pin is 4421 if anyone was wondering - for her bank and her secret phone💀)

she has flirty messages with “loverboy” that mention scrubs so they know it must be someone in the hospital

it always makes me laugh how ethan is very clearly just as upset, if not more upset, than cal is at this development, and not in a supportive brother way! but cal just doesn’t notice at all😭

cal tries to say martin can’t come into resus but alicia’s like “come on cal, martin and my dad are close” and cal’s like “you’re telling me”😬😬 so of course they then have to come clean

alicia telling them the origin of her nickname ‘scoobie’🥺🥺

“i always loved you jackie, i never lied about that. but you knew my parents, you think my father would’ve accepted a gay son 40 years ago? my friends? so i did what everyone was telling me to do, i conformed. and then i met you and we had alicia, my beautiful little girl, and suddenly i’ve got everything in the world to lose”😥😥

aww he’d been with martin for over 9 years

gem’s had 2 weeks added on to her sentence

cal’s now having second thoughts about meeting up with alicia’s “mystery man” because “maybe sometimes things are better left alone” and ethan goes “we need to know, cal” WE???? then he corrects himself “i mean, you need to know”😭😭😭 ohh ethan you’re soo lucky cal’s distracted

LMAOO louise getting noel and max to model wedding dresses for duffy

“loverboy” turns out to be max and he’s SO confused. ethan’s like “you’re sleeping with alicia? behind his back?” well one of you certainly did! max is still so confused bc he didn’t know he’d been talking to alicia and ethan PUNCHES HIM AND CAL HAS TO HOLD HIM BACK😭😭

that’s soo out of left field for ethan and i remember people at the time theorising that this was a sign of his huntington’s starting as aggression irritability and mood swings are often some of the first symptoms and even now i still think that makes the most sense. with hindsight idk if that’s what the writers were actually going for because they never made it explicit or anything but it could be! the psychiatric symptoms often start years before motor symptoms (the prodromal stage) and ofc from cal’s death onwards it’s impossible to pick out what’s caused by hd from what’s caused by, well, literally everything else, but at this point this really stands out. he’s obviously hurt and angry, as is cal, but his reaction is so extreme and sudden, like his emotional response has been exaggerated

tbh the writers probably just thought it was funny to have ethan reacting in a way that’s obviously not just anger on cal’s behalf but cal still not notice anything suspicious. and it is funny!

alicia tells them she was just pranking max😭😭

“we’ve had fun together, cal, haven’t we? why’ve we stopped?” “i do trust you” “you hardly know me, not really. which is why it worked so well before, it was just” “fun” “everything eventually falls apart when it’s held together by a lie” :( she seems like she’s about to tell him about sleeping with ethan but then she changes her mind

poor alicia :(

aw louise bursts into noel’s interview to tell them how he saved a kids life and the machines can’t do that

aww jackie realises that howard loves and needs martin and goes and tells martin to go and be with him. funny how she didn’t need to try and rape him isn’t it🤔🤔

LMAO charlie and duffy are practising their first dance in the staff room and some others are watching them but then dylan comes in and puts his tea in the microwave without even acknowledging them and they’re all staring at him and he genuinely doesn’t even realise why😭😭😭😭 i love him sjskdkfkk

robyn goes to cal “hey that’s gonna be you and alicia next” yeahhh i don’t think so

they’re all getting ready for the stag do and duffy says to bring charlie back in one piece lmao well they will eventually

max tries to get dylan to come but he’s like “i don’t think there’s a thing in the world worse than stag nights” but then he says they can give him a lift to the kennels because he has to pick dervla up and max is like “you can do whatever you want, you’re driving” “you what?” “everyone else has had a drink” “oh my god this day just gets better and better doesn’t it” skskfkgkgk

alicia tells cal that her parents split up but it’s probably for the best and cal’s like “yeah it’s never easy though, no matter how old you are” hmm interesting… definitely sounds like he’s implying his parents split up which again doesn’t fit with the original backstory richard winsor talked about where ethan stayed at home and had a more family oriented upbringing than cal did does it?

lmao cal makes alicia think he’s proposing and the absolute FEAR in her eyes SJSKDKFK but it’s just lingerie and he’s like “see we can still have fun together”

cal’s like “we good?” and alicia says yeah… but not for long!

alicia goes “bet you give these to all your girlfriends” and cal goes “only the ones i’m in love with” oh poor cal

lmaoo ethan gives cal his stag do t-shirt and shows him his which says ‘barry 2017 world tour “ethan-ator”’ and cal’s like “oh you are not my brother” and ethan just laughs and goes “THE ETHAN-ATOR” DNDKSKJFF just how much has he had to drink already??? he’s also wearing it OVER his shirt???

the cuff link falls out of cal’s jacket as he goes to get changed and he says to charlie “can you believe i nearly blew it all for that?” and charlie’s like “but you didn’t!” but then ethan comes back over, notices it, and goes “hey where’d you get that? i’ve been looking for that everywhere!” and cal is SHOOK but ethan has no idea what he just revealed😭😭

yay the stag the dog and the sheep time!!!!!

[izzy-b-hands]

I need to thank @bizarrelittlemew for the Pete and his history or lack thereof with Ed hc talk earlier, it led to me thinking more abt Pete and hoping we find out more abt that stuff in S2!!

I'm also in my Izzy feels again today (as if I'm ever not lmaoo), so I went two birds one stone and let both make this lil thing happen.

---

"I'm really sorry," Ed frowns sadly. "I don't remember you being with us, Pete."

Izzy can pinpoint the exact moment Pete's heart breaks. He's been there himself, albeit for different reasons in regards to Ed.

"Ed didn't deal as closely with the extended crew," he announces, puffing out his chest and striding over to Ed and Pete. "Of course he doesn't remember you!"

Pete looks about to cry, and Lucius is reaching for one of the knives on his belt.

"But I do."

"What?" Ed asks. "Iz-"

"It's alright Ed," he pats Ed's back, both to smooth the conversational bump and signal he'll talk to him about it later. "Things are different now! You spend more time among everyone, more chances to learn names and keep track of fuck ups."

"You remember me?" Pete asks. "For real?"

Izzy nods. "No less of an idiot than the rest of them we had at the time."

He shrugs. "But better a pirate than most of them. They're all dead, but you've done well for yourself. Consistent work, a fancy ship, a cute boyfriend-"

"I knew you thought I was cute," Lucius interrupts with a smirk.

"Yeah well...cute enough to pose for," Izzy blushes. He actually said he'd do the sketch at Ed and Stede's request, to have a full set of the crew. He's unsure where a set of drawings of pirate genitals might be needed, but Lucius does a lovely job and it's only an afternoon of his time.

Pete smiles hesitantly. "Ah, yeah. Ed was always really busy, so it makes sense, you know...not remembering me."

Ed stares Izzy down, but he nods.

"I remember a particular raid with you as well," Izzy continues. "A French ship, and you were one of the first to leap onboard and start slicing throats."

Pete beams, and Izzy breathes an internal sigh of relief. Awkward and upsetting conversation averted, hopefully forever, even after he admits to Ed he made it up for Pete's sake.

At least he thinks he is. If he's honest, for a while there they did have a lot of turnover, and it's entirely possible Pete was among those who managed to survive and fled to new captains.

But that doesn't really matter now. They're here, not in the past, and there's no need for anyone to doubt the veracity of any of Pete's tales going forward. He doesn't question anyone else's, not much, the least they can do is show him the same courtesy.

"Well," Ed smiles at Pete. "Forgive me for missing it, and you. Here, hang on."

He pulls off one of his rings, a smaller number with a red stone that matches Lucius' usual jacket.

"Normally, I would give a crew member a bigger cut of the loot for that sort of initiative," Ed continues. "But of course, fuck knows where any of that is now. This, however, is one I got in a raid a good while back. Might well have been from that particular one!"

He drops it into Pete's shaking hand, and Izzy fights off a smile.

"Now, you can sell it, use it for whatever you w-"

"Will you marry me?" Pete's already turning, the ring held out to Lucius.

"Oh my god," Lucius breathes, taking the ring slowly. "Oh my god?!"

"Is that like a yes?" Pete asks anxiously.

Lucius nods and beams. He slips the ring on and wraps Pete in a hug and a kiss.

"Okay!" Ed laughs. "Or for that!"

The rest of the crew huddles around them in celebration, and Izzy takes the chance to move closer and lean in towards Ed.

"I know," Ed whispers before he can say a word. "That was sweet of you, Iz."

Izzy scowls and shakes his head as he walks away, then looks to the ground before Ed can catch him relenting and giggling over the happy news. They're good kids, good pirates, and it'll be a beautiful matelotage ceremony.

[sab-carpenters]

Honestly, in general, the writers haven't been great at writing exits, outside of the line of duty deaths. The exit they gave Peter was a total cop out. All he wanted to do was get back on Squad but suddenly does a complete 180 and decides to run the family restaurant? 🤨 and I'm still mad at the send off they gave Casey. His storyline had to compete with 3 others in a 45 minute episode. What a way to say goodbye to one of the OG characters on the show.

The only exit that was kind of ok was Dawson's. I think mainly because they didn't know if Monica was going to come back or not so they had to make it so open ended until they were sure she wasn't going to re-sign. Because they didn't know she wasn't coming back after season 6, they still gave Dawson a lot of storylines and screen time being the female lead. I mean, I get that it is an ensemble show and some episodes focus on some characters more than others but the way they did it this season is kind of iffy.

I'm of two minds on whether they are setting up a Brett exit (it fluctuates on a daily basis 😅) but if they are, it's not really out of character to write it this way looking back at the other cast exits. I've taken a backseat to fandom this season but it irritates me how they've changed most of what Sylvie's character stood for and her may quirks - like how could they not remember she hated halloween? I will say I am excited for next week's episode. I need to witness Sylvie' Brett, two t's again. It's been a long time.

the peter one kind of confused me too because of how much he wanted to be on squad?? (ps i miss him can they pls bring him back for an episode). tbh for matt’s exit — for a while i was like wtf (mainly bc i was still so upset lmaoo😭) but as time went by, his exit made sense because matt would do anything for his family and friends but i do agree that i wish the episode was about him?? but i guess since it was the 200th episode they wanted to make it an ensemble one 🤷🏽‍♀️ (frankly, i do not remember what the other storylines were other than matt and cruz because i don’t like watching it lol). also them forgetting that sylvie hates halloween irritated me so much 😭😭 i literally hate when writers forget the traits of their characters because no way sylvie would participate in anything that has to do with halloween. i guess as a sylvie fan, it is kind of disappointing if it’s her last season because i think she deserves a better one but i am excited for the next episode too! it’s been too long since we got a paramedic focused episode.

[kkyaka]

Omg how was it bro lmaoo

Bro anon LMFAOO, I got you (kinda tmi under the cut, so warning for kinda sexual explicit content LOL), this got really long I'm so sorry 😭

(takes a deep breath) okay, SO lol first things first

I had actually seen this guy at a Halloween party I went to last semester, but right as I was gonna tell him that I thought he was cute, he left. And then I saw him on hinge and we matched! He goes to the same school I do, and he doesn't live too far away.

So, I matched with him and started talking to him, and he wanted to come over at like 10pm on Monday (today is Thursday as I write this) and I had come from a volleyball scrimmage and I was NOT in the mood to hook up

So I told him that, and he said that wasn't his intentions (which was a SHOCKER) so I let him come over 💀 LMFAO and we just cuddled and watched anime. And he didn't stay long cause I was tired asf, but like towards the end, he said that he had lied about not wanting to do anything, but I think that was because I wore really short shorts lmfaooo

We held hands for a while and then he had to leave, so I walked him to his car (he held my hand the whole time) and then he drove me back to my apartment. And then he told me that he really wanted to kiss me, but he never made a move lol, so I did. I made the first move! I kissed him first! Who would've thought? But yeah, he like never made a move on me or anything and that made me feel better

So then he said he was free the NEXT day (Tuesday) and I said he could come over lol cause I was gonna be gone for a whole week and I wanted some fun lmao. So, we just cuddled on the couch watching TV again (I'm not gonna tell you what we were watching bc you'll judge me LMFAO)

Anyway, fast forward like an episode later, and we're making out on the couch and then like five minutes later, he's eating me out LMFAOOOO, and his head game was pretty good honestly

So then, we move to my bed but then he goes an gets a condom, and not once did I ever think to like stop him, which isn't bad! I've messed around with a lot of guys, but I've always stopped it before it gets to this point, but with this guy I was kinda nervous but not enough to where I wanted to stop it

Bro he ate me out so much, I was like I mean sure, if you want to lmfao. I didn't cum, but he made me feel really good, so I'm not really upset about that honestly, and I'm pretty sure I'll see him again when I get back.

So, I was kinda worried because he wasn't very long, but he was lowkey really thick, so I was like 😬 sir you might rip me in half no lie. And the whole thing was like kinda awkward, but we laughed about it. But we did it in missionary, cowgirl, and doggy and in missionary, he had my legs shaking lmfao

And in cowgirl, my legs didn't get tired as soon as I thought they would, and doggy??? Whew chile, y'all.

I was SO LOUD. SO FUCKING LOUD. Like, I was almost crying. I could've cum from that, cause he was hitting good but not like the best spots. But honestly, I think doggy worked best because my whole like vagina (???) is tilted forward lol

So, after the first position, I thought we were done, so I slipped on my sweatshirt lol, but HE WAS NOT, and after I got on top, I thought we were done lol but he had flipped me over and eat me out for a bit AGAIN??? And he had already taken the condom off and tried to put it in RAW??? HELLO??? and I stopped him like instantly, I was like no sir you can't do that bc I haven't been on birth control in a couple of months lol

So after I told him that, he said that he was gonna look for another condom because, and I quote "I wanna fuck you again"

HELP??? HELLO???

In my head, my jaw was on the fucking floor, but I guess the 😺 is pretty good LMFAOOO🤭

And so after THAT, he asked me if I wanted to go AGAIN, I was like wtf this man's stamina. I know he's gonna wreck my shit when we have more time together lol

And surprisingly, I feel very normal (?) about everything that happened. Like then next time we hang out, I'm gonna ask him what he wants out of this whether that's a relationship or just fuck buddies, idrc, but we were both kinda tired, but he cuddled with me like for an hour

And he had to be up at 5am and I had to be up at 7am, but I told him he could stay over if he wanted to, I would set an alarm for him, but he said that he felt it would be better to just go home, which I was fine with.

Anyways, that's the rundown, but yeah, I honestly wasn't expecting to punch the v-card any time soon, so this is a massive surprise lol. It's not a big deal to me, and virginity is a social construct, but for a while I just wanted to get it over with, and this time I wasn't nervous or anything and I didn't really have any negative thoughts

We'll see if I see him next week, I REALLY want to because I haven't been able to stop thinking about him lol, so I'm hoping he comes back over. Also, anon, this is probably WAY more than you asked for, and I'm sorry lmfao

[et-cant-phone-home-no-signal]

The Book of Boba Fett - Episode 3 thoughts

heyo here's me back with the ramblings! please accept my humble offerings of thoughts and analysis for this episode, for funsies only <3 no arguments, spoilers beneath the cut

i love the difference between fennec and boba - he'll listen and take a petition with no appointment, she's ready to shoot and dismiss immediately 😂 it's so interesting because you'd almost think it would be the other way around but nah, he's chill and she's paranoid <3 (i don't know if other media shows this more, i haven't watched the bad batch which i know fennec appears in, and i haven't read any of the comics with boba in it)

i genuinely love how sincere boba is about being daimyo like, he keeps going "i am the daimyo and i will bring order" and he's being so serious but no one is used to that do they think he's being silly because ??? why are you walking around like that dude

also obsessed with sophie thatcher appearing in this (i love prospect so much and i'm happy to see her in such a different role compared to that)

you can feel the love boba has for his dad in the kamino flashbacks and it breaks my heart fr

the music <3

i never thought about how it would make boba feel to see all the storm trooper heads on the sticks. i know that at the later stages of the empire it was mostly conscripts but surely it would invoke memories of the clones? idk it made me think about it and now i'm sad

NO NOT THE FUCKING TUSKEN CAMP FUCK nononono the music too stop it this is so sad fuck that nikto gang (though was it them??? i have a funny feeling it could be more cause would the tuskens really lose to a gang like that?? or is it just slightly bad writing idk)

the kids stick too i'm actually in tears this is so fucking upsetting why does everyone have to die all the time

there's something so nasty about attacking a person when they're in the middle of something medical, cause let's face it, the bacta tank is medical and krssantan straight up decked boba in his underwear jesus man

gotta respect the mods for still coming in to help (yeah it's their job but again, they could've said nope and left him to it) - also why is this dude so obsessed with biting people lmao

fennec's disapproving little shake of head lmaoo she's giving older sister vibes

poor rancor- is that danny trejo??????

i love how genuinely confused krssantan is to be let go - boba is way too kind and i can feel fennec's disapproval through the screen

boba immediately falling in love with the rancor and wanting to train and ride it and giving it loving scratches <3 totally obsessed with this man he's so fascinating

"excuse me, lord fett" "not now i'm busy" is such a pet owners response when they're giving or receiving love from their baby oh my god

i genuinely have tears in my eyes from how funny it is that these mods have the equivalent of space vespas because i was expecting the equivalent of harley davidsons if i'm honest and it's so disappointing they got these shiny ass candy looking speeders instead 💀 i cannot take them seriously when they're on the vehicles sorry the hardcore punk aesthetic clashes so hard with the bright primary colour ass mopeds

mr moustache receptionist at the mayor's office is once again sending me into orbit because his stare could kill this fucking majordomo in an instant if he was force sensitive and i am so amused - this extra deserves so much more attention man, who is he and why isn't he in a major role

dude this is the least satisfying chase scene ever sorry but they're going like 30mph max??? i can't take them seriously this looks ridiculous and it's probably the worst scene in the show so far

thanks for reading!! people seem to be enjoying my star wars posts which is nice, i don't talk about it that often but i've started playing SWTOR and i'm enjoying it!! created a new jedi character for it and i'm getting attached so might write up a character sheet for her soon :)

[limeade-l3sbian]

Random but how do you react when people argue with you/get angry with you in real life? I’ve noticed that every time someone very clearly wants to argue with me or gets super in my face, I just get really tired and wanna sleep, lmao. And if i’m the one getting angry it’s super brief? Not to say I forgive easily or anything but more like my anger when it happens only happens briefly and intensely and after that i’m just not in that moment anymore, which can be kinda awkward especially if the other person is also just getting more and more fired up. And back to the people wanting to argue with me, I think i’ve sometimes made others even angrier with how I react to their anger because I genuinely just look on them either blank faced or kinda wide eyed because I rarely give the same energy back. And that, i’m aware, can come across as somehow even more confrontational and mocking, even if it’s just because of the opposite. Like I know I unintentionally probably can come across as one of those “let’s remain rational and not let our emotions cloud our arguments🤓☝️” type of people, but that’s really not what I mean. I just somehow have such a hard time reacting with anger to others anger.

I can relate to this very hard. I saw this ask a little earlier and was trying to think about the last time I got into a fight with someone, or even just a light argument.

I think with the way I grew up, and how angry I was back then, I don't have the means to really get upset in a way that can be seen. Like you said, I don't tend to react as far as expressions. My tone is my sole indicator since I usually have a very flat, somewhat bored voice, even when I'm happy lmao. But when I'm mad, there is a certain level of bass and sharpness that I've been told comes through. Not like "the devil gets scared when I'm mad" lmaoo. You're not going to talk to me any kind of way and I need you to know that.

I think it can be a little jarring for people in my life (outside of my family) because my irl disposition is incredibly subdued. I know that I've given the impression to people IRL and on here that you can say what you want to me an I'll just be like, "Hey, come on, friend..! :("

If I'm wrong, I just apologize. The pride shit is annoying to me and I don't get it. If you break down how I've wronged you, I'd rather just apologize or say, "That's not how I meant it, but if that's how it came off, then I am sorry."

I prefer peace, but a peace founded on resolution, not in the name of avoiding conflict.

[blackvail22]

9/25/23

10:25am -

i just had my first appointment with my new psychiatrist? i think thats the word. i got diagnosed with BED (binge eating disorder), and ive been saying for YEARS that i had it, and no one would help me. its been 9 years since i first went to a doctor and told them about my eating habits; they didnt help me. i had an obvious ed, and im glad im finally getting the help i need.

my relationship with food is severely complicated. im obsessed with my weight and the calories im intaking, but i cant stop... binging. and the fact i have fat on my body makes me want to throw up, nd every time i notice it, it makes me feel like my insides are being scratched over and over. my fear of purging is the only reason i dont...

a month ago, i was talking with my counselor, and she asked me if ive ever been screened for adhd. i told her no, but i can tell her yes!! my new doctor did a screening thing for adhd, and i have it. shes referring me to somewhere to get a more in-depth test to see what type of adhd and the severeity of it.

i told my mom all of this, and she seemed upset. i dont understand? shes been so rude to me lately... i mean, she always is.. but it feels like she changed? shes so bitter, and shes being like homophobic 😭😭 out of nowhere LIKE WHAT PROMPTED U TO BE LIKE THIS? i SWEAR on everything, being a chronic facebook user ruined her. she wasnt like this before facebook LMAOO shes so sad. but, all well!

im going to try my best to clean my room again. i NEED to get my shit together!! its so embarrassing how messy it is. i have to focus on doing it. i have to do it today; i have no choice!!

10:17pm

news flash: i didnt clean my room. whos surprised? im going to try and get it together before i go to bed because i have to... i have or else ill feel like im letting my boyfriend down lol

yk idk why but being friends and flirting w somsone is so much different than dating them. its insane!

i didnt mention this before but im being put on a different medication that targets bed and adhd and it also helps depression. i have to do a bunch of testing before i take it, though, because its a controlled substance

im afraid of facing my past. i know that i was a fucked up kid, but seeing HOW fucked up i am is... terrifying. like i read through a few of my old roblox messages and woah!!! i was living a double life, holy shit! obvi... i used a fake name, fake age, and some of the stories i would tell belonged to my sister. ill forever be regretful for the way i was back then... it makes me think, though... did i ever really change?

i had this girlfriend named .... lets call her juju. she lived on the other side of my country, and we met because we both ran fan accts for a youtuber on insta. i became ... obsessive? quickly. i feel sorry for her, but i was 12 and she was nearly 16, so... she easily couldve cut me off once she found out my age lmao. idk, i kept trying to find ways for her and i to meet in person because i was so excited to meet her online. she broke up with me, and i made another instagram and pretended to be someone else for a while.... aka i catfished her. i didnt show her photos of anyone else, just used the name "katrina" like i used to. i got her to talk abt her exes and then she talked abt how she recently broke up w someone and how crazy they were. i knew then that my behavior wasnt normal. i didnt understand the boundaries i was crossing.

am i all that different now? i used his snap maps to see when he's at his dad and when hes at his moms or at school. when i planned on moving down there, i looked for apartments that were nearby his primary home. i attenpted to make an acct to pretend i was someone else and see if he would lie to me abt info abt his life. i didnt finish it.... i got like the ick from myself and was thinking abt how crazy i was.

i try my best to not be ... stalker-like. i wouldnt follow someone throughout their day to see where they are, who theyre with. i wouldnt use it to harm him, and if he didnt want to see me or talk to me, i wouldnt force him to by showing up to his house or texting him off the number i give to weirdos.

im getting tired. its 10:37p now, and i keep like closing my eyes every once and awhile inbetween sections.

i think the last thing i feel i need to rant abt is how i told my dad i have binge eating disorder and for dinner when i told him i didnt care what he got me, HE GOT ME FOOD FOR A FAMILY OF 4. he looked me in the eyes and said, "two cheeseburgers, 16 chicken nuggets, 10 cheese sticks, and a milkshake incase u get hungry later" when he KNOWS i have a habit of eating a lot of food in one sitting.

i feel gross from how much i ate today, and im still wanting to eat more.

being told "u can reverse everything thats wrong w you if u just lost weight!" and then having those same people ENFORCE ur unhealthy eating habits is insane

like, do u rlly want to help me? or do u want to just berate me for the hell of it?

okie song song time

this song is so ... relateable. typical pop song but its so good 2 me

[riverstardis]

child of mine:

it's grace's birthday!

hugo running away :(

sam got grace a new phone which connie isn't happy about

grace hasn't been taking her epilepsy medication and refuses to take it so connie says she has to come into work so she can keep an eye on her??? because we all know connie always does a great job of keeping an eye on grace in the ED...

david's back!

alicia's walking in behind connie, sam, and grace and cal and ethan walk up behind her and cal goes "i wonder how grace feels about her new step mum? do you think you're gonna all go on holiday together maybe? what's it called, blended family?" while ethan seems to be avoiding looking at her. cal mate leave her alone!!

of course connie immediately tells noel to watch grace. when she says she's going to watch her she never actually means she's going to do it herself does she. she also says she can have her new phone once she's done her physio exercises?? girl it's her birthday give her a break!

oop sam just shared my sentiment. "she needs rest days, she needs time for her muscles to recover" "right so suddenly now you're an expert in physio?" "she's doing too much" "how would you know, you're not with her everyday?" "neither are you." OUCH SSJDJDFF i do not like him but unfortunately he seems to be the voice of reason when it comes to grace

elle and dylan see sam with grace and elle's like "you'd think he'd have more things to worry about than just hounding us" RIGHT??

oop elle says "connie still thinks she's safe" and dylan goes "what on her salary? i'd say she's the biggest prey" that's a good point actually. and if connie lost her job she'd have a lot more time to spend with grace. but i doubt sam wants that cause then it would be even harder for him to get a look in

so if david wasn't really ready to come back to work after years off, how is he ready to be back after a few weeks?

charlotte's been discharged

oh molly drover! she's asking for zoe😬

louise booked a table for her and jez at some fancy restaurant but he can't afford it

connie gives grace a cupcake as a peace offering, apologises and lets her have her new phone... could've been fine if she hadn't hidden her meds in the icing to trick her into taking them

david saying he knows what it's like to want everything to just stop and how much harder it is to get up and try again :((

aand grace has discovered the pill :/

grace goes "you tried to drug me" and connie's trying to defend herself but then realises that she spoke and realises that sam isn't surprised and grace is like "i've always been able to talk. i just didn't want to talk to you because i hate you." and connie goes "well you know what sweetheart, the feeling is mutual." umm wtf :/// and then grace has a seizure

david tries to apologise to robyn but max gets protective of her. poor david :(

connie tells sam he should take grace for a while

connie telling hugo's dad "he's clearly very upset. he just needs a little bit of love, and a little bit of support." you might want to try taking your own advice connie. and by that i mean with grace not hugo! do NOT take on someone else's child because you're finding your own a bit too difficult!!

charlotte is managing to make a lot of noise without moving at all. not even her mouth lol quite a realistic looking doll i'll give em that

ah mo effanga?

lmaoo jez doesn't want to tell louise he can't afford the restaurant so he tells her he's getting an early night and she goes to alicia upset and alicia's like "come on, let's drink gin and talk about how rubbish men are" and then immediately turns to ethan who just happens to be passing and invites him to the pub with them man she is DOWN BAD😭😭😭😭 it's odd that louise seems to have no reaction to this whatsoever though?? surely she would be wondering what the hell alicia's doing inviting a man to their complaining about men session? maybe alicia just knew that ethan was gonna decline so she did it to get herself in the mood for the complaining about men shjsjddjk

connie agreeing to take hugo for a few days??? wow it's a good job you got grace out the way so you can spend all your time with someone else's child isn't it

aww robyn letting david hold charlotte🥺 and jacob not accepting his resignation :)

one episode to go...