#i got. a teeny tiny pair of mittens

[iclimbtreestofeelalive]

for the first time in my life, i have the gift of consciousness while my parent tries to have a baby with his partners. and like. there's something so very profound about it. there's a person coming! my family! they aren't here yet, and they won't even be on their way for a long time more, but i'm picking up tiny mittens and sewing baby blankets. can you even imagine, being so loved before you even existed? can you imagine holding someone on your lap and telling them that you've loved them since before they were even born, before they were even them, and their genetics rolled the dice? it's so incredibly immense and i can't wait to watch them become.

[kissjane]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY ANGEL STELA @awake-dreamer18!

For your special day... here’s a surprise for you!

A small epilogue to your birthday fic Charity season...

Eliott doesn’t want to be here.

Oh, it’s not like last year at all – this time he’s sitting with a bunch of friends, Emma telling some outrageous story, Arthur sharing his cookie with Eliott, Eliott’s classmates Christian and Jocelyne being adopted into the group without a fuss, just like Eliott himself had been last year, Daphné and Imane going over the checklist together – but he’d still rather not be here.

He really wants to be with Lucas right now. Lucas’ mom is getting out of hospital today, and it’s a huge deal. But Daphné had already sent out word about the kick-off meeting for the fundraiser before the doctors confirmed the date, and of course Lucas and Eliott were going to volunteer, so they had decided Eliott would go to the meeting while Lucas went to spend the day with his mom.

Manon smiles indulgently at him.

“Missing your boy?”, she smirks. Eliott just nods. It’s not like it’s a secret – he misses Lucas whenever they are not together.

“I’m so glad his mom is finally doing so much better,” Yann adds. “Lucas must be so happy. One thing less to worry about.”

And for one horrible moment, Eliott feels guilt rise, threatening to overtake him. Because Lucas still has to worry about him, always will have to worry about him. As if it wasn’t enough for one person to have to deal with his mom needing extra help and support.

“Hey,” Yann mumbles, putting a hand on Eliott’s shoulder, “don’t go there. He loves you, just like he loves his mom.”

And Eliott takes a deep breath, refusing to give in to those feelings trying to tell him to run away, trying to make him believe he doesn’t deserve any of this – friends who care, and Lucas who loves him.

How a year can change things.

They have been basically joined at the hip, Lucas and he, after last year’s winter break, with the two of them on a basically deserted campus. Lucas’ friends did tease them for a while when they came back for the spring semester, especially Lucas, about his request to Daphné to be paired with Eliott.  Lucas, though, would blush deliciously, but other than that he shrugged it all off, saying it got him a boyfriend in the end, after all.

And Eliott has been so much better about reaching out. To Lucas, and to others. He’s made some friends of his own, and he’s working on his relationship with his family, and some of his high school friends.

He is so lost in thought, he misses the door opening and a latecomer slipping in, until he is almost tackled by a figure wrapped in hoodies and scarves, grabbing at him with enormous mittens.

“Hey, baby,” Lucas says, muffled by the amount of fabric covering his face. Eliott grins, and manages to free enough of Lucas’ face to press a chaste but lingering kiss on his lips.

“I didn’t expect you here.”

Lucas pouts.

“Well, I’m sorry to disturb your plans, I can go again…”

“No way!”, Eliott interrupts, tightening his hold around Lucas’ waist. “But what about your mom?”

“She was actually really tired and wanted to get an early night in. So I figured I might as well come bother my beautiful boyfriend.”

Eliott doesn’t care that everybody can see how soft his eyes go at that. It still makes butterflies erupt inside him to hear Lucas call him that, even after almost a year.

“Come here, then,” he whispers against Lucas’ jaw, and Lucas laughs in delight. He moves away from Eliott’s hold just enough to peel off some of his layers, and then unceremoniously situates himself on Eliott’s lap.

“I have also bought an anniversary present for you,” he then mumbles, his breath ghosting the shell of Eliott’s ear, so low the others don’t hear. A shiver runs over Eliott’ spine, at the feeling of Lucas so close, and the mentioning of their anniversary.

One year. It seems incredible, and yet, it also seems like it’s only just the beginning.

He has been working on a present for Lucas, too. He’s been sketching the two of them, during all the beautiful moments they have had this year, as a sort of photo album. And he’s put in one or two of the bad times, too – a drawing of the two of them, working in silence in the market stall, and a drawing of Eliott in bed, slapping away Lucas’ hand that tries to comfort him. They both hate it when they are out of sync, but together, they always come back from those times stronger than before.

Eliott tightens his embrace, pulls Lucas even closer, nuzzles his face in his boyfriend’s neck, and sends out a prayer of thanks to the universe, or whoever else might be listening.

Daphné starts speaking. She’s enthusiastically listing all the great ideas for this year, and how much fun they’ll all have, but Eliott isn’t paying attention. He’s sure nobody can blame him for being distracted, when he has such a pretty boy in his arms.

“Hey,” Lucas whispers. His cheeks are pink. Eliott wonders if it is still from the cold or if Lucas is blushing about something else. “You wanna know a secret?”

Eliott looks up, his eyes wide, and nods.

“I may or may not have asked Daphy to pair me up with the most gorgeous boy in the room.”

And well, Eliott’s helpless when it comes to Lucas, and he bows his head. It’s that kissing the blush off doesn’t really work – if anything, Lucas’ cheeks blossom even redder – but Eliott is nothing if not diligent in his attempts.

This Christmas season is going to the best ever. Yet.

PS Maybe... maybe... Santa will bring a teeny tiny little epilogue to the epilogue...

[puckinghell]

Mittens | Tyson Jost

Summary Requests: you never wear mittens so i knit you a pair and leave them for you to find as a gift from an anonymous person because i’m shy

and

your family ditches you for the holiday so i take you home with me, except my family thinks we’re dating now, and i don’t know how to tell them that we’re not Word Count: 3.8k Note: this is dedicated to @thesmutpeasant‘s knitting behaviour

---

When you finished your PR degree, you wouldn’t have said that working for a hockey team was your ultimate dream. You didn’t even know hockey. But working for the Avs has pretty much been the best time of your life, so far.

Where else could you spend an hour of your work day talking about Christmas gifts? 

So far, the boys have decided that for Christmas, Gabe needs to get some hairspray, Z needs a new wardrobe, and Mikko needs a girlfriend.

“What about Tyson?” you ask JT. “Have you gotten him a present yet?”

JT laughs. “No, I haven’t, but I think someone should get him a blanket or something. He’s not good with the cold.” “Hey, fuck you!” Tyson yells from the other side of the room. “It’s freezing here, we can’t all be cold blooded like you!” JT huffs. “He says that, but he’s dressed like he lives in California or something. Never wears a hat, or gloves. And then he complains about the cold all the time. One night he even asked if he could have my duvet.” “That was in Winnipeg, and you know how cold Winnipeg is,” Tyson protests. “Besides, I asked you to cuddle me warm first, but you said no.” It’s teasing, and JT rolls his eyes, but you know Twitter is gonna explode at this. “Thanks boys,” you say, putting down the mic, and the cameras finally leave the room. “What do you want for Christmas, Y/N?” Tyson asks. Out of all the boys - although you would never admit it - you like Tyson the most. He’s always chatting with you when the cameras turn off, and he asks you things like he cares about the answer. You’ve become friends, in the past few months. He’s also really cute. You shrug. “Some sleep would be good,” you say, because it’s been a long road trip, and Tyson laughs. “Same.” --- The next morning Tyson brings you a cup of coffee to the plane. “How is she gonna sleep on the plane now?” Burky teases, and Tyson turns bright red. You make sure to take a picture of Burky from an unflattering angle in retaliation on Tyson’s behalf. Not that it necessarily makes Burky look any worse - that guy doesn’t have bad angles - but it’s the thought that counts. You sleep on the plane and keep yourself busy during the day, but when the evening rolls around, you sit in your quiet apartment and busy your hands as your mind winds down. Knitting may sounds like a grandma hobby, but it calms you down, thank you very much, and it means you’ve always got a personal gift for someone. For Christmas, your grandma has asked for a scarf, your mom wants a hat, and your aunt asked if you can knit a romper for your few months old niece. You have no idea how to do that, but surely you can figure it out. However, today, you don’t really feel like knitting any of those. Knitting those requests feels a little too much like work, right now, and you wanna knit just to knit. You don’t even realize you’re knitting mittens until you’re halfway through the first one. You don’t need mittens; you’ve got a good selection of them, a wide variety of colors. You remember your talk with JT and Tyson, yesterday. There’s someone who needs them. --- It’s weird, that’s something you’re sure of. To just give Tyson a Christmas gift, a handmade Christmas gift, and not have anything for the other guys. They would chirp you to hell and back and you’re not sure you’re ready for everyone to know about your teeny tiny crush on number 17. However, you can’t deny the fact that you knitted these mittens with only one person in mind, and it would feel weird to give them to anyone else. So, one morning, when Pepsi Center is still dark and there’s nobody around, you put them in Tyson’s stall without a note and decide to never think about it again. Which would be easier if you’re not the one having to do pregame interviews that day. “So, the Blues are obviously the reigning Stanley Cup champions...” - EJ pulls a face and you can’t help but agree - “how can you make sure you take the two points here tonight?” “Probably score some goals,” EJ says with a deadpan voice and a wide toothless grin, and you’re about to yell at him for being an awful person to interview when there’s a loud noise on the opposite side of the locker room. “Ah, sick!” The entire room turns to Tyson, who is beaming with excitement and looking at the mittens in his hands. “Someone got me gloves!” “Those aren’t gloves, those are mittens,” Cale says wisely. Tyson stares at him for a few seconds, then obviously decides to ignore him. “There’s no note,” he wonders out loud, and you really, really hope your blush isn’t too noticeable. EJ’s eyes are a little too fixed on your face. “Maybe it’s a secret admirer,” Mikko offers. “Maybe it’s someone who’s just as sick about you complaining about the cold as I am,” JT says. “Where are my mittens?” Z ponders. “You’re not getting any, you don’t deserve them,” says Nate, and Z goes to put him in a headlock. The boys start arguing about why they do or do not deserve mittens and EJ turns back to you. “So,” he says, “any more questions?” --- The boys win in OT and there’s excitement radiating through the locker room. You’re not doing the postgame; Lauren is, but you follow her around anyway, mostly because you love the locker room after a win. The happiness is contagious, and you find yourself smiling all evening. Most of the guys have gone home when Lauren packs up her final stuff. “What a game to end with before Christmas, huh?” she says, giving you a quick hug. “Merry Christmas, Y/N!” “You sure you don’t want to come?” JT’s voice is filled with enough worry that it catches your attention. You pretend to focus on packing your bag, the door slamming shut behind Lauren as she leaves. It’s just you, JT and Tyson, now. “Nah, man, it’s okay.” Tyson sounds a little down, which is not what you would’ve expected, after he scored to put them into OT earlier. “You’re with your girl, and I don’t wanna be a third wheel. I’ll be fine.” “But you can’t be alone on Christmas.” JT is clearly indignant. 

You’re just standing up when Tyson gives JT a playful shove. “Go, Comph. Go have a fun Christmas. I’ll be chill here.” JT rolls his eyes but gives Tyson a quick bro hug. As he’s leaving the locker room, he sends you a smile, a “happy holidays” and then he’s gone. You turn to Tyson. 

“You’re staying here for the holidays?” Tyson shrugs as he puts on his coat. It’s not nearly thick enough to be a winter coat, and he’s not wearing a scarf. He does however, take the mittens and put them on his hands. “My mom is on a cruise and Kacey is celebrating Christmas at her boyfriend’s house. Everyone is leaving me alone this year.” He’s trying to sound light, like he’s joking, but there’s a sharp edge in his voice that tells you it matters more to him than he’s willing to let on.

Something squeezes in your chest. Nobody should be alone on Christmas. “My family is coming to my apartment on Christmas Eve to have dinner, do you want to come?” You blurt it out before really thinking it through; it’s probably gonna be hard to explain to your parents, that you’re suddenly having a guy over for Christmas, and maybe Tyson will think it’s weird that you’re asking him: you just heard him tell JT no, so why would you think he wants to come hang out with you? But when you brave looking up at him, Tyson is smiling widely. “You sure?” he asks. “Is it not too much trouble? I can help you cook if you want. Or, you probably don’t want that, because I suck at cooking, but I can do whatever else you need me to do. I’d bring gifts for all your family, of course, and…” He’s rambling, and it’s cute. “Tys,” you interrupt him, and you can’t help how fond you sound. “They’ll love having you around. My dad is always saying it’s not fair, four girls and one guy, and my sister is bringing her girlfriend, so I could use a partner in crime, too.” “Okay, that’d be awesome,” Tyson says truthfully, “thanks so much, Y/N.” He smiles at you brightly and then puts on his mittens. “Dude, these are so warm, I love them.” You nearly promise to make him a hat and scarf too, but then you figure you might’ve exceeded your maximum amount of weird for the day by inviting him to Christmas dinner, so you quietly follow him out to the parking lot while he excitedly chatters about Christmas movies. --- It’s the morning of Christmas Eve and you’re this close to having a mental breakdown. Your house is a mess; you figured you didn’t need to clean it, your family has seen it all, but now Tyson is coming and you would like him to not think you’re the biggest slob in the world. Also, there’s the fact that an extra mouth to feed means more food necessary, so you have to go to the store and get more groceries. All in all it means that when your doorbell rings, you’re still wearing an old Avs hoodie and leggings, and you’re pretty sure there’s cookie dough in your hair because you decided you needed dessert after all. It’s not like Tyson gets to sin all the time. Christmas is as good an excuse as any. “Hey,” Tyson smiles. He’s looking annoyingly nice, wearing a grey jumper and dark blue slacks. As soon as he sees the state of you, he frowns. “What is that in your hair?” “Cookie dough,” you tell him honestly. “You look nice.” “Thanks,” Tyson grins proudly, “I Facetimed Kacey to pick out the colors.” He walks into your apartment like he’s been there a million times before, pushes a bottle of wine into your hands and starts unpacking the bag with presents he brought, putting them under the tree. “Am I early?” “A little,” you admit. “I, uhm, kinda still need to shower. You know, get the cookie dough out of my hair.” You think about it, for a few seconds, then decide that you can trust Tyson with this one thing. “Can you take the cookies out of the oven in 10 minutes so I can shower?” Tyson nods, throws you a thumbs up and then parks his butt on the couch like that’s where he belongs.

It makes you feel... things.  And, well, you might take a little longer to get ready – putting a little more effort in your make up and hair than you would’ve if it had just been your family -  but the last thing you expect when you come back in is for everything to be ready. Except it is. There’s candles lit on your coffee table and the presents are all under the tree. Your mom has a glass of wine in her hands and greets you with a “honey, there you are!” Your sister and her girlfriend aren’t there yet, but your dad is standing at the dining table with Tyson. The dining table is fully laid and Tyson has a half eaten cookie in his hand. “Sorry,” he grins, when he spots you. “They just looked too good not to touch.” You must’ve been staring at the scene a little sheepishly, cause your mom laughs. “You okay there, honey?” 

“Uh yeah,” you bring out. “I see you met Tyson?” Your mom’s face instantly brightens. “Oh yes, we have, but if you want to do proper introductions…” For a split second, you panic, because you don’t actually know how to introduce Tyson – a friend? A coworker? You can’t really say an unreachable crush – but you’re saved by the door bell. “Y/N!” your sister says, giving you a quick sideways hug. “Amy and I brought some extra wine, in case you didn’t have enough booze and we have to listen to dad talk about baseball all evening while sober…” She stops dead in her tracks as soon as she sees Tyson. “Oh, hello.” “Thanks, Meg,” you mumble. “We uh, have enough, probably, cause Tyson brought some too.” Meg turns to you, wiggling her eyebrows. “A boy that brings wine? Keep him around, will ya.” You’re about to tell her to shut up, when your mom stands up. “Time for dinner!” --- It turns out Tyson fits in with your family right away, and you’re not even halfway through the night when you realize your catastrophically big mistake. Seeing him like this, as if he’s an integral part of your life already, does nothing to help your massive crush on him. Because Tyson is perfect. He talks sports with your dad and interior design with your mom – “My mom used to redecorate our place every year or so, you pick up some stuff” – and falls into a flawless routine of teasing you with Meg. He tops up glasses, passes the salt without being asked, and every now and then he sends you a smile that has your stomach turn in your body. It’s not until after dinner, when you’re standing in the kitchen with your mom, cleaning dishes, that you understand your mistake has been even bigger than you thought. “I’m so happy for you, sweetheart,” your mom coos. She’s looking at you with fond eyes. “I was worried, you know, that you never introduced us to a boy or girl. I don’t want you to be lonely here in Denver. But Tyson is such a lovely guy. You can tell he really loves you.” You can… what? “Oh, no, mom,” you stutter, “he’s not… He doesn’t…” “Oh, but he does,” she interrupts. “I see it in the way he looks at you, you know. When a person really loves someone, it’s in their eyes. And Tyson looks at you with love. You deserve someone who cares about you, babe, and I’m just so happy you’ve got someone here in Denver, when we’re so far away. I just don’t want you to be alone.” And, fuck, your mom clearly thinks you’re dating Tyson, and you realize you still haven’t introduced him properly to your family, of course they think you’re dating, who brings home a guy to Christmas for platonic reasons? You know you should tell her that you’re not dating, you know that, but she looks so genuinely happy, and you know if you tell her now it’ll break her heart. Quietly, you sneak a glance towards the living room. Your dad laughs at something Tyson says while Tyson ruffles through Meg’s hair. She swats at him, and Amy is smiling. Every single one of them would be upset to hear that Tyson is nothing more than a crush that’s way out of your league. 

You know you have to tell them. But maybe just not tonight. Maybe, just for one Christmas, you can let them be happy. “Thanks, mom,” you force out a smile and your mom returns to the dishes. It’s not even a few seconds later that Tyson wanders into the kitchen. “Hey,” he smiles, “can I help?” He leans into you and puts a hand on the small of your back and your heart flutters and it’s innocent, sure it is, he’s just trying to be friendly, but your mom gives you a knowing look as she says: “Sure, you guys finish up here,” and demonstratively closes the kitchen door behind her, leaving the two of you alone. “Your family is awesome,” Tyson grins, as he starts to dry the dishes. “Meg tells me you guys go skiing every February. Me and Kacey usually try to go during bye week, Meg said maybe we can go together!” And something inside of you bursts. “My family thinks we’re dating.” Tyson frowns, puts the plate he was drying down. “Oh, really?” He doesn’t sound upset by the fact, simply curious, and you sigh. You’re gonna have to explain this one. “I guess I just didn’t really think to tell them who you are or like, what we are? And so they just saw that I invited a guy to Christmas and they assumed that we’re together. They absolutely love you, Tys, and they always worry so much about me having a boyfriend, and I just…” You pause; you know you’re turning red and it’s impossible to get out the words. “Hey, it’s okay,” Tyson says gently. He reaches out, his hand landing on your arm in a gesture of comfort. “You don’t have to tell them now. We can just… date.” He flushes. “Fake date, I mean. For tonight. Or, like, however long you need us to.” “Really?” you ask, relieved, and Tyson laughs. “Don’t sound so surprised. As if it’s such a hardship, to pretend to be your boyfriend.” He shoots you a wink, puts the final plate away and wanders back to the living room. Leaving you absolutely stunned, wondering what just happened. --- “Gifts!” Meg says, clasping her hands together. “The true meaning of Christmas!” Your mom gives her a disapproving look, but even your dad is eyeing the presents under the tree with a little too much interest.   “I’ll go first,” Tyson says with shining eyes, “being the new one in the family, and all that.” “Ah, yay, it’s not me anymore,” Amy giggles, and you swear to God you are going to die. Somehow, despite not knowing your family, Tyson nailed his gifts. Your dad is over the moon with his new slippers, your mom keeps sniffing the scented candle he gives her, and Meg smacks Tyson across the head with the Avalanche beanie he got her, until she notices there’s two tickets to a musical that Amy has been wanting to see in there. 

You’re a little jealous, because you love gifts like that, until Tyson hands you an envelope. “I heard you tell Gravy how much you like them,” he says, and he sounds a little off. Nervous, even. “And if you need a plus one…” He wiggles his eyebrows and laughs, but even his giggle comes out a little nervous. In the envelope is two tickets to your favorite band, who are playing in Denver next month. You didn’t end up getting tickets cause they were sold out stupidly quickly and were ridiculously expensive in resale. “Oh my God, Tys, that’s way too much,” you tell him in awe, but Tyson just shrugs. “No use for an NHL salary if you can’t spend it on the people you care about.” It sounds weirdly genuine, a deeper level of something ringing through, but it’s way too much to unpack right now. You feel a little stupid about your gift for him, now – a nice wallet cause his old one looks like it’s been through a lot – although Tyson seems really happy with it, even gives you a hug to say thank you. For the rest of your family, you’ve got a normal gift and something knitted, as extra, and it’s not until you catch sight of the deep frown on Tyson’s face that you realize something. Fuck. You forgot about the fucking mittens. “Isn’t it cute, Tyson?” your mom says, as she wraps the scarf you made her around her neck. “She always knits people gifts. I swear it’s her way of saying how much she loves them. She spends so much time on these.” She pauses. “I mean, you’ve probably been with her while she makes them, you know.” “Yeah,” says Tyson, slowly, although you know he has no clue. After that, it’s like you can’t even really enjoy the rest of the night; you can’t focus on the Christmas movie Meg puts on, can’t focus on how cute it is when she cuddles up with Amy, can’t focus on how fondly your mom is smiling down at you or your dad’s soft snores as he falls asleep halfway through. You can focus on Tyson’s thigh pressed against yours, and how you have no idea how to explain to him why you knitted him those mittens. Finally, your mom stands up, gently kicks your dad’s legs, and smiles at you. “I think it’s time for us to go,” she says. “I’m sure you two wants to enjoy some part of Christmas Eve in privacy, too.” “Mom,” you scold her, feeling your cheeks heat up. Tyson grins at you. By the door, as your mom gives you a hug, she whispers: “He’s a keeper, honey,” and you nearly tell her everything. “Yeah, he’s alright,” Meg says way too loudly, and you hear Tyson giggle in the background and you decide to shut up. The door closes behind them and immediately, Tyson stretches out on the couch. “Ah,” he says. “I’m pretty good at impressing the in laws, no?” You don’t remind him that they’re not actually his in laws. Instead, you fall back onto the couch and groan. “Are you not gonna make fun of me for knitting you mittens and leaving them anonymously in your stall?” you ask, because you might as well get over it. Tyson frowns. “Why would I do that? Those mittens rock, my hands haven’t been cold since.” You blush. “Yeah, but, don’t you think it’s weird that I made those? I didn’t make any for the rest of the team.” For a second, he seems to think about that. Then he moves a little closer, his hand coming to rest on your thigh. Electricity zips through your veins at the contact. “I kinda hoped that meant something,” Tyson says slowly. “Tell me if I’m wrong?” You only had two glasses of wine but you feel like your world is spinning as Tyson moves closer tauntingly slowly. Finally, his lips touch yours, and you understand every cliché ever written into any romantic Christmas movie. When his hand moves to your thigh, settles on the skin right below the hem of your dress, you yelp.

“How are your hands still cold?” 

Tyson chuckles. “I mean, I haven’t been wearing my mittens, so...” 

---

Years later, you’re laying on the couch with your daughter, watching a Christmas movie after having just set up the tree.

“Daddy, what was your favorite Christmas present Santa ever gave you?” your daughter asks. 

Tyson sends you a private look above her head, then focuses on her. 

“A pair of hand knitted mittens.” 

“Like the one mommy made me?” she asks, and he grins.

“Yeah, kinda like that.”

[captaindeadeye]

A Surprise

teeny tiny modern AU drabble about a birthday party. I wrote something depressing earlier, so I flip-flopped it with something very wholesome!

im  not too worried about typos cause its 4 AM!!

Knock knock!

Thump thump thump thump!

Yve knew those footsteps. He bolted upright in his bed and climbed over his dearhearts, making sure not to disturb the two sleeping beauties and throwing the blanket back over them.

“Yve!”

Yve rushed to the bedroom door and opened it quickly, slipping through, and closing it behind him, trying his best to be quiet. At the top of the stairs was a purple Sylvari-- his best friend! 

Yve clamped a hand over Periwinkle’s mouth to keep her from shouting.

“Shh! They’re sleeping.” Yve whispered. Periwinkle licked Yve’s palm, giggling. He yanked his hand away and sneered before grabbing his friend’s hand and tugging her back down the stairs and into the kitchen.

They had fun planned.

Yve pulled open the cabinets and heaved a bag of flour down from within, letting it rest on the counter. He opened a smaller cupboard and gathered a few things; cocoa powder, vanilla extract, sugar, and baking powder.

Periwinkle snooped through the refrigerator for the ingredients they would need; eggs, milk, and butter, presenting all of them beside the things Yve had gathered, as well as a few mixing bowls.

Yve arched to the oven and beeped it on, preheating it to a nice and hot temperature. He set to work on the batter. 

Grabbing his trusty whisk, Yve creamed together the sugar and butter. One at a time, he added and mixed in the pair of eggs, and a few drops of vanilla. In a separate bowl, he sifted together the flour and baking powder and dumped them into the would-be batter. He kept whisking the thick goop as Periwinkle gradually poured the right amount of milk into the bowl, giggling when drops splashed onto Yve.

Yve repeated the process one more with the cocoa powder instead of the vanilla extract. He evenly filled two circular pans with batter and shoved them into the oven, setting a timer.

While they waited, Yve tiptoed upstairs and into his bedroom to check on his dearhearts. They were both still asleep, laying on their sides and facing away from each other. Yve smiled and lurked back down into the kitchen.

Periwinkle migrated to the living room and grabbed Yve’s TV remote off of the coffee-table, flicking on the screen so they could spend the time they had to wait for the cakes by dicking around. They watched a couple YouTube videos.

The kitchen timer went off after no time at all and Yve wandered back in to check on the cakes. Donning his very gorgeous oven mitten, he retrieved the cakes. “Moi perfection,” he kissed his fingers like a chef would.

Popping those bad boys out of their pans, Yve set the vanilla and cocoa cake to cool on a rack before wandering back into the living room to continue dicking off with Periwinkle. Somehow they’d come to start watching videos about the History of Foot Fetishes.

Knock knock!

Yve got up from the sofa and went to open the door. He was greeted by a friendly face-- Dawn! Another of his close friends, neighbor, and Periwinkle’s mom. Yve welcomed Dawn in and she revealed that she had come with some things she had prepared. Delicious, hot macaroni and cheese, hot chocolate, homemade marshmallows, and pretzel sticks. 

Behind Dawn in the doorway was Periwinkle’s other mom, Faelyn. She followed in and presented some alcohol she commandeered. She wouldn’t reveal if it was store-bought or she made it herself, but Yve found it to be super good.

Yve returned to the kitchen as Dawn and Faelyn found spots to sit in the living room. 

Yve went about cutting the rounds off of the cooled cakes and cutting them down the center horizontally so he would have a total of four cake slabs. He used a few ring-molds to extract circular rings from the cakes. He reassembled the cakes in layers. Vanilla outer layer, cocoa next, vanilla, cocoa, and built the next slabs over the first one with alternating flavors. 

Yve made a quick frosting on the side and began slathering it over the now-built cake, smoothing out the sides and top.

“Periwinkle, come in here. Help me decorate these!” Yve called his friend into the kitchen, who very gladly obliged. 

The two Sylvari began decorating the cake in goofy ways. Sprinkles, letter candy, Reese's pieces, crumbled Oreos, candles, the whole sh-bang, until they deemed the cake to be perfect.

Dawn, Periwinkle, and Faelyn took their places in the living room. They shut off the TV, turned out the lights, and hid. 

Yve snuck upstairs to check on his dearhearts again. Perfect timing. Choisya was still asleep, but Trahearne was waking up. Yve darted over to Trahearne and silently giggled, pulling his green husband out of the bedroom and down the stairs to the living room.

“We’re going to surprise Choisya. Hide.” Yve hissed, waggling a hand. Trahearne only chuckled and went to hide. 

Yve went back upstairs and over to Choisya’s side of the bed. He slowly coaxed his dearheart awake, who greeted him delightfully.

“What time is it, dear?” Choisya murmured, rubbing an eye and angling his clock to face him. Yve took the clock and simply kissed Choisya’s forehead.

“Fret not, hun. It’s still pretty early. I’ve got breakfast ready downstairs.” Yve giggled, making his way back to the door. Choisya nodded and stood up with a stretch. He followed Yve.

Yve led Choisya down the stairs. The lights were still off. Yve took Choisya’s hand and pulled him into the living room. Choisya blinked, not sure what was going on…

Until Periwinkle flicked a light switch and everyone jumped out!

“Surprise! Happy birthday, Choi-Choi!”

Choisya was awestruck! The dining-room table was covered in the food his friends had brought over and the cake Yve and Periwinkle had made with love.

“Oh-- this is amazing! Thank you, everyone!”

Choisya opened his arms to give everyone a hug. He SQUEEZED them lovingly!

“Best birthday ever!”

[indieharry]

A/N: Merry Christmas, my darlings. Here’s a little one-shot of pure Dad!Harry fluff. I don’t post much of my writing because it’s terrifying, but I so hope you like it.

You’ve caught yourself staring again.

You blink quickly and shake your head, knocking yourself out of your trance. But then you look again. You can’t help it. You swallow thickly, trying not to cry, pressing your hand on your chest hoping it will calm the swell of your heart.

Your newborn daughter is fast asleep, wrapped in a soft yellow blanket, looking like a little buttered bun. Holding her is Harry, gazing down at her, swooning at every eyelid flutter and soft sigh she lets out. She is so tiny in his arms, and you think you’d like it very much if she stayed right there forever, protected by her father’s hold, where nothing could ever hurt her.

You hear a light sniffle come from Harry.

“Darling,” you start.

“She’s just so perfect, love,” he states firmly, looking at you with big eyes, breathing in another sniffle. The twinkle from the fairy lights catches the green hue of his irises, and you silently pray that your daughter grows up to emulate the kindness and love that radiates from Harry’s.

“I know,” you say softly, wandering over to him, rubbing his neck and shoulders affectionately. “Our little Christmas baby.”

She was technically not a Christmas baby, but you had been calling her that since the doctors estimated her arrival on December 25, however she’d decided to bake a bit longer. She made her debut on the second of January, fresh into the new year. Harry had maintained a calm demeanor throughout the whole ordeal, always assuaging your worries and assuring you that no matter what happened, it would all work out for good.

And that it did.

-

Harry’s got the camera pointed right at you, dimples accentuating his goofy grin as you give him an annoyed glare. You put down the mixing bowl you had propped on your hip.

“H, get that away from me, I look terrible!” You cover your face with your apron as you walk out of the kitchen and into the living room.

“You’re daft, you never look terrible, darling,” he coos.

You’re wiping flour from your arms when you hear a high pitched shriek from the kitchen. Harry follows you back to where your plump 11-month-old is peering at a chunk of pear on the floor in front of her high chair.

“What’s this?” you ask jovially. “Did you let out that scream, little monkey?”

She stares at you, daring to let out the loud noise again. And then she does.

“Oi!” Harry chimes in from behind the camera. You turn to face him and giggle quietly. Then you both turn back to the baby, anticipating another episode. And then she does it again.

“Use your words, monkey,” he coaxes her. “What do you want? Do you want the pear? Can you say ‘pear’? Can you say ‘pear’ for me?”  

She utters a sound faintly reminiscent of the word and you squeal, facing him again. “Harry! Did you hear that?” Harry’s grin is as wide as his face as he stares at the baby through the camera’s viewfinder screen. “I got it on film,” he says, looking up at you. “Now will you let me keep the camera going?”

You give him a warm smile, sheepishly nodding your head. You pick up the little bit of pear from off the floor and throw it away, offering the baby another piece from her plate. “Eat this piece, monkey, the one on the floor was yucky,” you tell her. She eats it and grabs another from her plate, babbling baby talk while you pick up where you left off with your baking.

Harry, camera still in one hand, takes a finger to the mixing bowl. “What’s this?” he asks innocently. You whack his hand away instinctively. “It’s for your mother, Harry,” you argue.

“Mum can bake a pudding for herself. I’m your poor, hungry husband,” he whines, puppy dog eyes on full display.

“If you ever say you go hungry in this house, I’ll show you what hungry is,” you bark playfully, taking a bit of flour off the counter and wiping it on his cheek. “Why don’t you make yourself useful and find the stockings for the mantle?”

“Already done, love,” he boasts, turning off the camera and spreading his arms in a big stretch. “All’s left t’do is go pick out the tree. I called Niall to come with me. He wants to take the baby with us, says it feels more like proper Christmas with a kid in tow.”

“Well, will you change her clothes before he gets here?” you ask, wiping your hands on the bottom of your apron.

“Of course I will,” Harry coos in the direction of the baby. “We’ll make sure we’re niiice an’ warm, won’t we?” He pulls her out of her chair and raises her above his head, shaking her gently to get her to giggle.

A bit of drool escapes her mouth and cascades down onto Harry’s forehead.

“Yep. There she is,” he stated, defeatedly.

You chuckle and grab a dish towel to wipe off his face. “She’s the drool queen, isn’t she?”

Harry lowers her and positions her on his hip, looking down at her as she plays with the rings on his fingers that are wrapped around her torso.

“She can’t help it. Can you, bug?” Harry smiles and she smiles back, another line of drool dropping from the side of her mouth. He lets out a desperate hiss as he brings her up to his face, smooshing his lips on her soft, round cheeks and loudly kissing her. “My god, you’re just so cute!” he yells softly and playfully. “Like a little toy version of your mummy, you are.” He nuzzles his nose into her small neck, smelling her baby scent.

Harry dances off with the baby on his hip, into the nursery where he sits her down on the carpet while he rummages through her closet.

“Okay let’s see. What do you wan’ to wear today, bug? Hm? A little tiny jumper? Maybe with a little baby corduroy skirt? And some teeny little tights? Cor, your clothes are so small, monkey!” he exclaims.

She gargles in response and lets out little huffs of noise as Harry puts her on the changing table and dresses her.

“Yeh might need a jacket…an’ some mittens, I suppose,” he murmurs.

Harry searches high and low in the nursery and laundry room for a pair of tiny mittens, looking in every sock drawer in the entire house. “Where are your mittens, little monkey? Did you eat them?” he asks. Her smile in response relieves Harry of any frustration he had over the missing garments.

“We’ll just nip to the shops while we’re out. Don’t tell mummy, it’ll be our little secret. I guess….these’ll do for now,” Harry says reluctantly as he unrolls the pair of baby socks he had laid out for the baby’s feet.

Once downstairs, Harry pops the babe back into her chair so he can ring Niall to see where he’s at. “I’m pulling in,” Niall says quickly when Harry hears you from behind him coming out of the pantry. He quickly turns around, shielding the baby from your view and giving you a stoic look.

“Harry,” you smirk. “What’s that look for?”

“Nothing. Oh, look at that, Uncle Niall’s here! We’ll be back later!” He grabs your daughter, rushing towards the door where the baby bag awaits, your daughter wiggling in his grasp and you catch a glimpse of an unfamiliar pattern covering her little hands.

Harry speedwalks to the gate, unlatching it, meeting Niall who’s leaning against his car scrolling through his phone.

“Here,” he says, handing Niall the pudgy infant who is now gnawing on her sock mitten. “Gonna go get the carseat. Don’t let Y/N see her.”

“Wha-,” Niall starts before Harry rushes back through the gate and up to his own car to retrieve the car seat. When Harry comes back, Niall is cautiously opening the door to his back seat.

“Are these socks on ‘er hands, Harry?” Niall asks, a puzzled look on his face.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s a new fashion statement, innit, bug?” Harry coos down at the small child who has soaked half of the left sock in drool already. “Daddy’s won fashion awards, we can do whatever we want.”

“Did Y/N see her?” Niall asks, giggling this time.

“No, and we’re not going to mention it to her and we’re quietly going to pick up a new pair of mittens at the shops,” Harry glares towards Niall, causing his giggles to cease.

Niall raises his hands in surrender. “Whatever you say, mate. I’m just here for a good time with the little one.”

-

Harry hikes his daughter up onto his hip as he and Niall walk through the lush greenery at the tree farm. The baby squeals with joy as their vision floods with fairy lights.

“Yeh like the lights?” Harry inquires, lifting her up onto his shoulders, where her soft tiny hands grab onto his fluffy locks.

Niall looks very pensive and serious as he examines each tree they pass. “S’not so much the height that matters, you know? S’the plumpness of the needles. If they’re nice an’ plump you know they won’t fall out before Christmas.”

Harry gives him a puzzled look. “How d’yeh even know tha’?”

“I take Christmas very seriously, Harold,” he replies.

“Honestly, you can pick one. Y/N an’ I are never really bothered by what it looks like. S’long as it holds the lights and the baubles,” Harry informs him, grunting as he lifts the baby once more to set her on the ground, watching her closely as she wobbles a bit before waddling a few steps.

“You see these needles? See how there’s not even a trace of brown on ‘em?” Niall pinches the branch, crouching, and waves for Harry to join him in his assessment. He listens to Niall list off useless facts about different species of trees and their native origins.

“Let’s get this one, then, yeah?” Harry finally says, after Niall’s explained what made the specific tree they were looking at, special.

Niall stands up straight, looking the tree up and down once more before nodding. “It’s a solid one.”

Harry sighs in relief that it didn’t take too long to choose a tree. His relief is short-lived as a deafening panic sets in. He whips his head around looking for his small daughter, realizing she wasn’t within eyesight anymore.

“Niall, where’d she go?”

“Don’t panic, H,” Niall replies, obviously panicking himself.

“Where’d she GO?” Harry’s head starts spinning. He’s calling her name, kneeling to look under trees and jogging down aisle after aisle of trees. He’s already expecting the worst. She’s pulled on a tree branch to help leverage her stance and it’s fallen on her, or she’s been grabbed by a stranger, crying for her parents, one of whom couldn’t even keep tabs on her for five minutes.

“Harry!” Niall calls from an aisle near the front of the farm. Harry runs faster than he’s ever run in his life, he thinks. Once he reaches Niall, he sees he’s crouched down near a pile of pre-made wreaths. Nestled in one corner is his baby girl, fast asleep. Harry’s throat tightens as he quickly moves to pick her up and hold her close, smelling her baby smell and blinking back tears. He sighed after a few moments, looking down at her sleepy face. His brain was a mess. How would he explain this to you, how he almost lost your baby daughter out of carelessness?

After a few minutes of silence, Niall says lowly, “I won’t tell Y/N if you won’t.”

Harry gives him a look, a deeply appreciative and thankful look.

“Let’s get the tree and go back to yours, yeah?” he says louder this time, patting Harry on the back as he goes to look for a shop worker.

-

When Harry and Niall return with the tree, you are sat in the kitchen with Anne, chatting over a cup of tea while yet another batch of some Christmas pudding bakes in the oven. Harry hands the baby to you before retrieving the tree from the top of Niall’s car.

“Hello my darli- Harry, what are these on her hands?” You ask, your eyebrows furrowed in a very confused look.

Harry gives you a sheepish smile, realizing just then that he and Niall had forgotten to stop and purchase another pair, in the wake of their eventful trip to the tree farm.

“I couldn’t find any of her mittens!” He explains.

“So you put socks on your daughter’s hands?” you look up at him, giggling.

“Pretty resourceful, ‘f I do say so myself,” he shrugs, backing away in case you decided to take a napkin ring to his face.

You take another look at your baby girl, staring into her big green eyes as she gummed on the toe of one of the socks.

You sigh, setting her down on your lap, bouncing her softly.

“You’re not wrong,” you confess, taking another sip of tea.

-

You wouldn’t admit it to Harry now, but that Christmas was the best you’d ever had. You’d never felt so much warmth and joy swell in your heart as you watched Harry coo at your daughter when the first snow happened on Christmas Eve and when he fed her little pieces of stuffing off of his own plate. You could cry at the thought of him covering you and the baby with a blanket when you two fell asleep on the sofa the next afternoon, after watching A Charlie Brown Christmas. You had woken up but pretended to still be snoozing when he placed a soft kiss on both your foreheads. You swore you heard him sniffle before he walked out of the room, leaving you in blissful peace.

[szopenhauer]

have you got any brothers or sisters who annoy you? my sister annoys me indeed

as a younger teenager, did you have any older guys/girls hit on you? as a teenager nobody hit on me

would you ever want to be changed into a vampire? doubt it, the only thing that would truly interest me about it is immortality which isn’t actually living forever as even sun can kill you and knowing my luck that would happen fast 

does the thought of dying give you cold chills? kinda how many times has someone called you boring, if ever? several times because I don’t travel, I don’t party, I don’t like sports and out of some other reasons has anyone ever told you that you had “so many” months to live? not exactly as a teen, were you trusted to be alone with a boyfriend/girlfriend? as a teen I had no real bf/gf do your parents both have a job? my mom’s retired already are you currently unemployed? if not, what’s your job? I am where do you belong? nowhere?... were you anyone’s first kiss? I was what is the color of your cellular telephone? black what color are your gloves/mittens? I have few pairs when was the last time you listened to the radio; and do you remember which song was the last you heard on there? not counting online radio that I still rarely listen to (usually just during Christmas time, that special playlist on rmf) - years and I don’t remember the last song because I didn’t think it will be the last one and that just made me sad do you think English the hardest language to learn? noooo do you clean under your nails with safety pins? I use toothpicks how long after your shower do you walk around naked, or in your towel, until you decide to get dressed? I get dressed right away  does it bother you that so many people start going out like a week or two before valentine’s day, as if it’s just because they don’t want to be alone? that’s really lame, I’m sorry for them what do(es) you(r mom) grow in your garden? lots of stuff what do you think of facial piercings? meh, some are ugly, some are ok did your shoe laces come with your shoes? yeah but they still have zippers as I wouldn’t bother to own shoes with just laces do you have any cds you bought at the concert?. never bought a CD at the concert what does your second oldest sibling do for a living? I have only one sibling and what she does is not your business (pun intended) are there any beanie babies with your birthday? Beanie Boos   Carrots - rabbit - style 36031   Julep - monkey - style 36056   Pashun - dog - style 36206 Beanie Babies   Bunga Raya - bear - style 4615 - (birth year 2002)   Dewi Y Ddraig - dragon - style 46157 - (birth year 2010)   D'Vine - monkey - style 40767 - (birth year 2008)   Flower - meerkat - style 46155 - (birth year 2010)   Niles - camel - style 4284 -(birth year 2000)   Peace - bear - style 4053 - (birth year 1996)   Peepers - bushbaby - style 40795 - (birth year 2009)   TOUR Teddy - bear - style 40347 - (birth year 2006) Teenie Beanie Boppers   Terrific Tessa - style 0334 Boppers   Lovely Lily - style 0223

what color is your cat? it was all black with yellow eyes

do you own any buddha? nooo, why would I  do you know what color hazel really is? .. my eyes? XD what color is your toaster? don’t own one what color is your webcam? white but I don’t use it as I have no mic, I tried to buy one but they never work so I prefer to use my cellphone as a cam instead do you have anything real gold? I think I still own that one tiny item (necklace with the letter Z) and if I do I will probably sell it

Do you own any adult colouring books?  those gimme anxiety  When was the last time you got some new headphones? mine are about 5 years old

Do you know anyone whose name starts with the letter X? I don’t :o

Name a food that you dislike the texture of. pears 

Describe the cover illustration of the book closest to you. it has the Stranger things villain on it behind the room with no. 11

Do you wear a mask when you go to the store? of course, if you don’t - I hate you!

Are you expecting a package right now? am not

What is one thing you hate about summer? mosquitos for an example

Did you go outside today? just our garden

Have you ever received a misdiagnosis from a doctor? yup

Do you have a book that you’ve read multiple times? I never reread books

Do you enjoy babysitting? ugh...

What was your favorite book you had to read for school? I used to like Cierpienia młodego Wertera - that was stupid of me

Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? in pre-school 

What’s one childhood dream that has stuck with you? my own apartment

Would you want to re-live your childhood over again if you could? I believe

Which do you like more: being an adult or being a kid? being a kid 

Did your parents smoke or drink when you were growing up? nope

Do you enjoy bonfires? they were fine

Have you ever ridden in an ambulence? couple of times

Do you know anyone who used to be loving, but then turned cold?  that would be me...

What color are your bedroom walls? green and yellow

Is there an old friend that you miss and would like to reconnect with? I tried...

Have you been bullied? all of my school years basically

Which talent show, if any, would you most like to audition for?  I have no talent

Do you feel like time goes by fast, or slow? both slow and fast

Who do you know who has died of cancer? my aunt that I didn’t really know

Have you ever stayed overnight in a hospital, and if so, what for? couple of times, once even almost entire month, long story (stories actually)

Have you ever been so angry you wanted to sue someone? hahaha

Have you ever been a victim of racism? I’m white so not really

Did you go to prom? nah

Are you an aunt or uncle? yep

Do you feel like you are currently in a state of suffering? and that not all of your basic needs are being met? If so, how long have you been in a state of suffering? I’ve always been and it only got worse

Life isn’t fair. True or false? it seems

Name a few people who seem to have everything handed to them. born rich

Do you pray less or more than you did 5 years ago? more

Do you pray a lot? not enough

Have you ever used an epi pen? hope I won’t have to

What was the name of the biggest bully in your high school? HS didn’t have big bullies but for me that was A.L.

How many kids do you want to have? 0

Do you want to get married? hmm...

Best date you’ve been on? dunno

Dream date? *shrug*

Ever kissed someone on New Year’s? never

Have you ever been in so much pain you prayed that you would die? other kind of suffering

Who always tries to stop you whenever you try to go after your dreams? life/world so God I guess 

are you in love with llamas? they’re cool

do you like hats? beanies and those winter ones in animal shapes 

have you ever had surgery? not yet

do you have an enemy? some I call this way

do you want to save the trees? yes

what size shoe do you wear? 38-39

do you cook? I do not

do you like taking pictures? at times

pink flamingos? cute for the garden :3

do you like spiders? I don’t mind them

do you own an mp3 player? but I don’t use it anymore, not even sure if it still works

why are you hitting yourself? self harm

what’s your mom’s name? personal

what about your dad? same

have you ever won anything? yep

is revenge sweet? in movies might be and sometimes I laugh when ppl get what they deserve, sorry not sorry?

have you ever had someone lie for you so you wouldn’t get in trouble? sort of

who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob

do you like night or day better? night

do you like finding nemo? nooo

plaid or polka dots? why not stripes?

have you ever done yoga? a bit

what posters do you have on your wall? no posters

do you wear dresses a lot? noooo

how many school dances have you been to? all of them besides prom

can you swim? can’t

don’t you just want to mass murder all barbie dolls? why? :o

who was the last person you were under a blanket with? my gf

name something great that happened today? for example - Choices chapters were great

who was the last person’s voice you heard? mom’s

did you speak to your mother today? of course

what color is your hair? naturally dark brown

when was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? online or irl?

how did you wake up this morning? by myself

how many letters are in your last name? 11

do you still talk to the last person you kissed? in general because at this very moment she’s asleep

do you believe that everything happens for a reason? not everything

do you ever pretend to text/talk on the phone when you’re in public? yeah  have you ever had spinach? if not, would you ever want to? I ate it before don’t you hate when the wires pop out of your bra and poke you all day? my bra has no wires am i the only one who likes to go grocery shopping? you’re not alone

is anything wrong with your eyes? possibly do you ever write notes on your hand? used to last time you cried? why? I was moved by the game on my cellphone

when is the last time you were in a swimming pool? in middle school have you ever fallen backwards on a chair? I don’t recall what do you feel like watching? nothing atm do you ever try to write with your non-dominant hand? with feet too who makes you laugh the most? my gf and my dad who starred in your last dream? besides me - no one that I know  do you regret doing something today? maybe do you think you’re old? I’m not but I often feel like I am  are you afraid of the dark? at home only - especially mirrors and windows in the dark are scary

sometimes, do you wish you were someone else? not a particular person have you ever told anyone you were ok when you really weren’t? it’s bad but I did that before do you talk a lot? do I?

which member of your family are you closest to? dad

would you ever apply to be on reality tv?  doubt it do you have a hard time letting things go? I guess have you ever struggled with your weight? slightly when you are out with your friends are you loud and outgoing or shy and reserved? depends  do you like to stay in your pajamas all day long? whatever in high school did you have a lot of friends? do you still keep in touch? group and not really at what age did you get your period? 13? fuzzy socks: yay or nay? yay

When was the last time you held a puppy? years ago

Was the person that last slept over at your house a boy or girl? girl Who’s name first comes to mind that starts with the letter “P”? Paulina and Patrycja

Do you have any kind of jewelry on at the moment? not at the moment Would you say you use “lol” too often? get used to this!

When was the last time you vacuumed a room? I mop the floor 

You can only shop at one store for the rest of your life, what store is it? but food? :o

Have you ever donated to a cause? yup

[crossedbeams]

ROSE REVIEWS… THE X-FILES - S1.E8:  ICE

<< 1.6 The Ghost in the Machine ————————— 1.9 Space >>

What a week it has been! What a month in fact (because that’s how long ago I started this recap). Ice is one of my favourite early episodes which explains why this is longer than the combined beards of ZZ Top. Someone teach me self control? Please?

Go under the cut at your own peril, here there be worms.

The Plot

Some dudes playing with ice have gone radio silent and left a creepy message, Mulder and Scully get sent up to investigate with a ragtag team of socially inept scientists and then cut off by bad weather with some seriously suspect wormlike organisms, and more sexual tension than you can shake an oversized drillbit at.

My Stream of Semi-Consciousness

YAY! ICE!

I’m glad they start out with the dog just nommin on something spilled instead of one of the dead people. It makes it easier to root for him later which is good coz it’s a cute dog. Apparently it’s also Blue’s dad!

Then there’s what appears to be a disembodied limb in a box. Why I have no idea. but I am soon distracted by the entry of this dude who appears to have been scorched, stripped and then attacked in an incredibly symmetrical fashion by a pair of clawed ketchup bottles.

Like c'mon prop monkeys! Blood is NOT that colour and when did you last see someone with matching pectoral wounds (given it’s not sex related… probably). Also now I’ve been looking at it for too long and I feel like he has one nipple that is significantly bigger than the other and I’m having trouble moving past it.

And WHY is he shirtless. At what point in the whole fighting to the death in the ARCTIC was he like… wait mate… I need to take off this shirt off because #aesthetic.

Though to be fair I probably would.

Aaaaanyway

His radio makes more noises than the tardis.

We’re not who we are. Okay. We get it. But on a serious note do they ever actually discuss why he says this. Because I feel like grammatically it’s questionable and the space worms seem more into murdering each other than making dramatic speeches.

His assailant looks very heeeeere’s jack" and is wearing a shirt. I’m rooting  for him until they get into the worst duel ever. Don’t put your guns so close. This whole bit tbh. The worms seem to have very complicated motivations and choreography, Maybe they’re abstract prehistoric space worms. Am I making sense. I don’t think I’m making sense.

It’s okay though I can compose myself during the CREDITS.

This video from the dead science dudes is the dorkiest thing I have ever seen. There are quilted body warmers, pasted on smiles and overenthusiastic high fives. You can see why these guys are extras and not the series stars. But at least they were all having fun before they brutally killed one another.

Mulder and Scully are watching this video in a room with both a blackboard and a window. Where are they? Is the basement being cleaned? Is this Scully’s office? If so why does she have so many damn tables!

Why do people insist on digging into old ice/trenches/under the sea. It always ends badly. EVERY DAMN TIME. Cthulu is down there people. Or godzilla or some shit. Just leave it alone and make nachos. Much better.

Not to be pedantic (okay who am I kidding) but pretty sure the background here doesn’t match what was behind him in the scene.

It’s only 1993 goddamn and Gillian Anderson is already learning how to ruin us all with her exquisite face. We were all screwed from the first time someone pointed a camera at her. All her tiny facial nuances remind me of the queens of old Hollywood and the things they could do with a quirk of the lip.

Then Mulder squats down and grins at her and though he’s basically implying they’re being sent as sacrificial lambs he doesn’t seem too sad about the concept of being trapped in an igloo full of corpses with his partner. He goes from amused to gleeful when he tells his teeny partner to bring her mittens and I’m thinking Scully seems excessively perturbed at this stage… is she having a moment of forboding? Or does she just really hate Alaska? I mean this is pre Palin so there’s no good reason to be quite so down on it…

And heeeeere’s Denny

Not content with really loving rocks (geologist) and being called Denny he also likes to do this in public places.

Denny is not getting any.

I do miss cassettes though.

Enter small winterwear troll AKA Dana Scully in a jacket so big she may be wider than she is tall. Mulder in contrast appears to be wearing jammies, jeans and a jacket, which are - incidentally - my three style essentials. Well those three and a resting bitch face.

Mulder makes awkward chat about San Diego while Scully pulls a face like she didn’t used to live there and then the other scientists arrive and they engage in a charade worth of the Chuckle Brothers with IDs, “It’s me! It’s You!” Mulder even checks Scully in case, one assumes, somebody else was hiding in her coat and has leaped out to replace her since he introduced her to Denny less than 30 seconds ago. Possibly he just uses it as an opportunity to sniff her. He’s only human and I would… I also feel like at this point  the writers were overly concerned with linking back to “we’re not who we are” from earlier. Every single combination of the words “we”, “who”  and “are” is well and truly thrust in. And we’re only at 7.12.

Also hello Felicity Huffman.

“Two federal agents, a geologist, a medical doctor and a toxicologist” sounds like the beginning of the worst walked into a bar joke ever. It would have some incredibly scientific punchline probably involving the word ampule. I’d try and write it but… we I can’t be bothered!

Everyone is so weird and cagey. The script must have been full of side-eye instructions. A word to the wise - if you’re ever asked to go on a business trip where people are behaving like this, don’t go. It’s the start of a horror film and you will die.

Especially if someone else there is called Bear.

Bear could be Steven Tyler’s brother. Or maybe they just have the same surgeon. His car is the only car in the universe dirtier than mine.

And after Scully standing weirdly close to Huffman (I forget her character name) for way too long (like seriously? SO strange), Mulder trying to reassert his Scully monopoly with some unnecessary touching (DRINK!) we see some stock footage which can only mean we’re up, up and away.

Icy Point and the power’s off. Of course. Do they ever investigate why the second they arrive anywhere the lights stop working? That’s a damn X-File.

For guys who blew their on brains out these dudes are artfully arranged. And pretty sure one of them is tensing. You’re dead man. Nobody cares about your abs anymore.

Scully says ‘flashing’.  She means the camera. Epileptics on set can thank her but I can’t help being disappointed. Imagine if she meant her boobs…

Mulder comforts Felicity Huffman with his intimate knowledge of arctic research generator noises. Who knew Oxford university offered so many eclectic courses. Unfortunately they didn’t offer one in dog combat because Mulder goes down. Pretty sure Huffman falls over too but only out of shock or being knocked off balance by her coat.

Poor Bear is bleeding ketchup so we know he’s fucked. It’s fine though, Scully is a medical doctor and she finds some super gross disease beans in the doggo’s armpit which means she will also save the day. Standard.

Worm under skin, WORM UNDER SKIN! Ths grosses me out every time so drink every time we see unnecessary subdermal wriggling. *drinks*

Scully has completed five autopsies before anyone else has done more than get their coat off and get infected with a space worm, but ruins the effect by brandishing a used and  uncovered needle with gusto whilst doing her jargon spiel. She may just be trying work out how to rescue her hair from it’s current anti-gravity state, her fringe is levitating at a sweet 120 degrees from her forehead which has got to be upsetting when you’re as put together as Scully is. Regardless,  

Mulder seems unperturbed but may just be distracted by Bear wigging out about his own personal armpit beans.

There are some high quality knitwear/ winter neutrals going on in this episode. Maybe they were sponsored by fruits of the loom or some shit.

Mulder and Denny get all excited about satellite pics, apparently Mulder’s interpreting skills around some sort of bizarre geological scanning are rusty. TRY NON-EXISTENT MULDER. YOU DON’T KNOW SCHIST ABOUT GEOLOGY! Sorry. For the pun and the yelling. But seriously. If I made a list of all the things Mulder and Scully know that they shouldn’t…

DINOSPERM! Dinosperm. Does whatever a dinosperm does.

The second Mr Bodywarmer (I can never remember anyone’s names so tis is what I’m calling him) disses Scully’s autopsy skills you know that Mulder’s gonna disagree with him. Contagion be damned, suggesting Sculy has missed something is a no no - even in Season 1 - and especially when she’s pouting like this.

Oh no! Mulder says they have to stay (my favourite trope), Scully pulls the doctor card to seal the deal and now there is no way they’re not having arctic sex right? Everyone gets some… well except Denny who kills the mood by opening up way too easily about his bowel movements. Poor Denny. High school can’t have been easy for you.

But it’s fine because Bear flips his shit, or more specifically flips out about a shit, and everyone has other things to worry about. After some arctic democracy which really draws a solid line between Mulder/Scully and Huffman/MrBodywarmer (in case you’d missed all the other clues) and emphasises the disposability of poor Denny, they pull a gun and shit gets real.

Down goes Mulder!

Down goes Scully!

Turns out big man Bear is no match for Macho Moose and Flying Squirrel. The others prove once again to be utterly useless, standing about and watching. Honestly, given how much Mulds and Sculls know about other science they should absolutely not know, the the rest of the cast seem kinda superfluous other than as human coathangers for knitted beige monstrosities.

WORM UNDER FLESH, DRINK.

Impromptu surgery always makes me squeamish so lets not talk about this. Suffice to say its gory and ends poorly for Bear. RIP buddy, you were kinda a douche and your hat was stupid but nobody likes a neck worm.

Just keep drinking till it’s over.

The woman on the radio is semi-peppy given she’s just told them they’re stuck. Maybe she’s drinking whatever Sarah Palin is on.

Sculy’s OCD hand washing is adorable and I want to pet her. And the others are all still just standing there though now with a corpse centrepiece. React people! Do something!

Top quality CGI right here! Wormeo is looking fine and definitely three dimensional.

The worm theory is all very plausible, except that the last bit makes no sense. The worm doesn’t want to kill it’s host, just the hosts with its pals in… so what is the worm’s end game? Last worm standing? Any thoughts?

I am all about the aesthetic of this next scene The half light the corrugated metal with shadows and the height difference all in silhouette. It’s even added to by Mulder’s signature monotone rant. But the problem is, I’m so MSR thirsty that when this happens…

I just want them to throw down and get it on on the floor. KISS! NOW! Corpses be damned. See, This is what this show has done to me. I used to have standards.

Denny is not down with all the tension so he retreats to baseball while Huffman and Bodywarmer, who bicker like Mulder and Scully but lack ANY sort of chemistry (this is the show we might have gotten if the Gillian/David alchemy  hadn’t happened) conspire like a pair of whiner babies. Bodywarmer is as paranoid as Muder, but he’s also an assclown.

Then Mulder and Scully take their coats off in a dramatic way and once again my mind is in the gutter. Which is actually appropriate as it’s naked spot check time and things are about to get a little homoerotic. Pretty sure Mulder lost some sort of bet when Scully was the one to suggest a naked group activity. Also pretty sure he was disappointed that it was just another spot check and that he wasn’t invited.

Leaving this here for science.

There are multiple documentations of the exceptionally sapphic encounter between Scully and Huffman, whoever decided to light them in red while the dudes got to strip off in a normally lit room was certainly only aided by the fact that Scully's jabby doctor hands from later series have not yet developed. 

My main takeaway other than this being basically the only scene in which Huffman doesn't irritate me (and I think I quite liked her in DH though I can't remember a damn thing that happened on that show), is that Gillian Anderson has more chemistry in a fraction of her lower lip than most people have in their whole body. I mean seriously: authority, vulnerability, comfort and a little sex all in one move. This little thing? 

She would probably have chemistry with a rock if she needed to. How is it so effective? How does one scene that lasts less than a minute have more relationship in it than all of Huffman and Bodywarmer's interactions combined? How is the entire world not worshipping at her tiny feet?

And the award for least comforting bedtime sendoff goes to Mulder, for both bringing up bugs biting (as if they're not already freaking over dinosperms getting all up in their spines) and then shooting down Scully's attempt to normalise things. "The spots on the dog went away". Really? She's lingering outside her room, and instead of being nice, or comforting, or taking her mind off things with some vigorous shagging you give her puppy eyes  and a shortcut to nightmare town?

Go to bed and think about what you've done Mulder. Leave Scully alone with your comforting words, ominous lighting and a dead man's half naked lady posters. 

Cue montage of nobody coping in different ways with Mark Snow blinky-blonkiness to up the tension.

As a an unapologetic Scully fangirl I do sometimes forget that at this stage, Duchovny was very much the star and focus. Scenes like this remind me, where we watch him get dressed (I am fine with lots of shirtless Mulder), wander about, do reacting, hang out a little with this cabinet that definitely looks like it has a face and could just have eaten Denny on it's own...

Anyway my point was that as much as Gillybean is growing as an actor and making herself felt in the episodes, studio intentions be damned, this is all DD, prowling about with drama and he does it well. Also you can see his nipples through his shirt. Clearly my priorities are straight. Well... mostly.

That said. Mulder is an idiot. When a cabinet is bleeding, what sensible person opens it while squatting in front of the spot where clearly a corpse is going to fall out. He didn't learn that brand of idiocy at the VCU.

Speaking of Scully asserting herself, Bodywarmer (I think his name is Hodge?) and Mulder get in to a sweaty macho shout off and teeny Sculls gets in the midde. Huffman just kinda floats about.

And we have a series first! Mulder and Scully hold each other at gunpoint! Loud noises! Angst! Betrayal! Delivery of the episodes motto which STILL makes no sense."You may not be who you are?"" Well no he is him, he just might have a worm in his brain But points for consistency. Shame it doesn't apply to the series overall plot arc!

Anyway, in the end it's fine because Mulder relents when it becomes exceptionally clear that for all that she's smol and mostly calm, Scully will shoot his ass, though she'll feel a bit bad about it. At this realisation Mulder goes full puppy and lets his owner put him in a pen. But he doesn't get shot. Yet. Little he knows...

So Mulder gets shut away. It's totes emosh. Like Celine Dion backing track emosh. Mark Snow step aside because this bish has spare time and windows moviemaker...

Moving on...

Pretty sure that fluffy!Scully striding in a plaid shirt with a gun is my spirit animal.

It's super convenient that both members of team non-MSR are sleeping in ridiculously uncomfortable positions, despite the recent excitement, so Scully can be forced to surrender her weapon. But hey - we only have 10 mins left and the plot must go on.

Bodywarmer decides the time has come for him to be alpha male but unfortunately, everyone still hates him, Scully doesn't want in on his shitty duet, especially when it's clear that he'd toss his partner in a second. Huffman finally grows enough balls to suggest Scully might have a point about not turning on each other and looking for treatment but his ego is out of control.

I really wish Bodywarmer had gotten eaten instead of Denny, Denny and Huffman could have been useless fuzzballs together and the only thing I ship Bodywarmer with is my booted foot making hard contact with his testicles after his misogynistic asshole moves in the lab. I'm starting to understand why Huffman has no personality. Scully starts to realise she got preeeety lucky that Mulder's just an alien obsessed puppy and not an utter fuckboy, before snapping back in to science mode for wormageddon.

I'm gonna take a moment here to shout out Lila (@startwreck for the following graphic). Theses two animated worms even have more tension than Bodywarmer and Huffman. So when we did the group rewatch we may have turned it into a fix that the worms were in love...

Me and the space worms have one thing in common. We do not like company.

WORM IN DOGGY EAR! DRINK!

Not sure how a stethoscope would prove the worms inside the dog were dead but I'm not a medical doctor. Either way, Mr Woofty is okay and lets be honest, aside from Mulder and Scully he's the only one I care about at this stage.

Tfw bae may have a brain worm but you wanna be sure and one of your companions is an asshole and the other one is actually the neck worm's host.

Poor Mulder isn't even allowed to accustom his poor little molerat eyes to the light before having to defend himself. Which got me thinking... the light switch is inside the room. We saw him turn it on earlier. So he's sitting in the dark of his own choice, just to make himself more tragic. Precious baby.

This face could have been avoided.

This scene though, this could not, There is now a section in the FBI handbook called, "Protocol for the investigation of possible parasitic space worms", this inspection is the example of how not to do it. Ably assisted by D'Angelo and my amazing video skills once again I give you - "this would be sexual harassment if they weren't both so into it - so don't try this in the workplace kids"

Scully comes out with Mulder in tow like the kid who came home from school with a friend who wasn't invited. "Mom I know you said no but look at him". After a quick round of, my partner is less infected than your partner, they get ambushed, Scully makes the squeakiest squeak of a no that is still audible to the human ear and finds herself in the sex cupboard.

Commence a struggle scene worthy of You've Been Framed, drink for Huffman's neck worms and also for this face.

In her struggle to escape a worming, Huffman pauses long enough to through some vials off a freezer shelf, that she has to open. Before she goes for the gun. Logical. And then they all have sex on the floor. I mean seriously. 

But it's all good coz she gets to gnaw on Mulder's pec while the worms do battle royale in her pituitary gland and everyone makes it. Well except Bear and Denny. Huzzah! Scully gives Huffman (whose name I have just discovered is Silver or Da Silva which I'm sure I knew when I started this but honestly that was weeks ago so...) a celebratory belly rub. 

I'd take it.

They finally escape, and Mulder of course wants another round trip to hell but hell has been torched. Scully does a good job of looking sympathetic in front of Bodywarmer, but as soon as they're alone she tells Mulder how she really feels. To paraphrase, no, she doesn't want to play with ice worms of death any more and yes she would rather be in Aruba. But she does wait for him. Maybe so they can finish what they started in the sex cupboard in the SUV. 

I hope,

And so it ends..

Quick Score (Full Deets in the top pic)

Story: Original, bold and pacy - 9/10

Mulder: Broody, ballsy, sexy - 8/10

Scully: Smart, sceptic foil to the crazy - 8/10

UST: The first suspense episode, creepy original goodness 5/5

Other Cast: Solid ensemble of misfits delivers - 8/10

Bonus Points: Hot damn sexy moments, extra gazing, partner doubting, memorable, my fave 5/5

TOTAL - 42/50 - Grade A and new topspot sitter!

Join us next time for more ridiculously overthought brain farts

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