#i guess i just grew out of the honeymoon stage? i have expectations now and i don't think not vibing with their track is like

[leatherbookmark]

was browsing UKO (i know. i know) out of boredom and i'm personally in love with the idea that it's somehow Bad to say you don't like a song without listening to it fully, eg. only after 30 seconds. "you're missing out on so many banger bridges" "if you can't spare 2-3 minutes i don't think your opinion is worth listening to" you'd think it's music journalists scoffing at someone who wants to submit album reviews with this mindset, and not redditors talking about sillay kpop songs

[pillage-and-lute]

Prompt: fake realtionahip/marriage, whoever you like!

Ooohoho! This has been chilling as a draft for ages, now I have completed it. *mildly evil laughter*

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The funny thing about Geralt, Jaskier thought as he did up the buttons on his best doublet, was that he really didn’t lie. He said things that weren’t true, but they were usually things he believed, or thought he believed because he was tired or grumpy. Sometimes he told half truths. He didn’t lie though.

It wasn’t even as if he didn’t have a poker face, Geralt’s face was all poker face, he just hated lying. Normally it wasn’t an issue, but tonight, Jaskier reflected, it wouldn’t be ideal.

Jaskier had heard through some whispered words at a pub that a bunch of Nilfgaardian nobles were having a gala, and the temptation of finding out what political secrets they could was two strong for their odd little family. So Geralt and Jaskier were going undercover.

There had been quite a bit of debate about that. Jaskier was obviously going. He’d grown his hair longer and had a bit of scruff going, and to be frank, all a bard really needed to disguise themselves was a new name, people saw the clothing and heard the music, but rarely remembered the face. Yennefer would have been the ideal partner in crime except for a crucial thing.

When Yennefer had been changed by magic, her eyes had been left the same. Somehow, the transformation had solidified them, and no spell would change them. Her eyes were too distinctive, and so she would stay behind with Ciri. That left Geralt, and since the ball was only for the nobility, he would be the fiance of Julian Pankratz, Viscount de Lettenhove.

Damn.

See, Geralt didn’t lie, and that was bad enough. Jaskier wouldn’t be able to rely on Yennefer’s in-depth knowledge of the nobility and that was worse. Worst of all though, was the fact that Jaskier would have to spend a night full of wine and dancing pretending to be in love with, and engaged to, Geralt. Who he loved.

And who had, not three months ago, blamed Jaskier for every bad thing in life.

Since then Geralt had caught up with him half-way down the mountain and there had been some grumbled words about how Jaskier ‘wasn’t actually, exactly, a total curse’. Not a glowing review, but then Cintra had fallen, and they had Cirilla and they’d found a wounded Yennefer and it had all gotten so very busy.

Jaskier cast a last look in the mirror as the door to his room creaked open. He turned, expecting Geralt, but it was Yennefer.

“I suppose,” she said, eyeing him. “That this is as good as you get.” It could have been said cruelly. A year ago it would have been. Now, though, the words were fond. 

“I like the kohl, it goes well with the wrinkles at your eyes,” she winked. He smiled. There were no more wrinkles now than had been twenty years ago, and they both knew it.

“I wasn’t sure about the eyeliner,” Jaskier said, trying to sound haughty. “Overdramatic eye looks are your thing.”

Yennefer chuckled and sat on the end of the bed. “A tiny smudge of eyeliner is hardly overdramatic.” She studied him approvingly, then looked at him. Her expression was frighteningly soft.

“Have you told him that you love him?”

“Never,” Jaskier said, fiving his cravat in the mirror.

“Why ever not?”

“It would only be the mountain all over again,” Jaskier sighed. “I tried, you know. I spent years trying, and then on the mountain, I thought I was being clear...”

“What did you say?”

“I asked him to leave it all, just for a little while, with me. I thought we could go to the coast.”

“The coast,” Yennefer said from her spot on the bed. “As in Lettenhove? You wanted to show him where you grew up?”

“Partially. I could explain the immortality business easier if he met my sister, but mostly I just thought it would be peaceful.”

Yennefer snorted. “With Geralt? Peaceful? He’d spend the whole time fighting drowners and telling you not to write about mermaids because they’re vicious.”

Jaskier smiled wanly. “That’s pretty peaceful for him.”

“But he said no?”

“He didn’t say anything,” Jaskier said. “Then he, well, you know, he spent the night in your tent.”

“Ah,” Yennefer said. “For what it’s worth, I hate that it happened too.”

“He doesn’t though!” Jaskier cried, whirling around to face her. “He wants it to happen again! And you! You don’t want him but he wants you while I want him!” The frustration of the whole situation and nerves for what was to come were overwhelming. “And you’re here, trying to help me,” he said more quietly. “Why?”

“Because I like you,” Yennefer said, simply, standing from the bed. “And I like him. I also never, ever want to kiss him again. The djinn is sitting, somewhere in my chest, telling me I love him, but the feeling is...sick. It feels like love, as well as I can remember, but it’s poisoned and twisted and I want no part in it.”

Her purple eyes pinned Jaskier to the floor.

“And that poison pales in comparison to how much you love him. He deserves that.”

She swept out the door, tossing a “Sort it out,” over her shoulder.

Well.

The next knock at the door was Geralt, Ciri in tow. Jaskier hoped the witcher hadn’t heard any part of his and Yennefer’s conversation, but he suspected that no one overheard conversations that Yen didn’t want them too. 

“Dandelion!” Ciri said, leaping at him and using the name she’d first met him under. “You look nice! Like a prince in one of your stories!”

Jaskier blushed and thanked her quietly as he scooped her up and tossed her, laughing, onto the bed. 

He looked at Geralt for his opinion.

Oh he looked so good too. Yennefer had charmed him so that anyone else would see a different man in Geralt’s place, but to Jaskier he looked just the same. But he was wearing white. 

A white chemise, the collar and cuffs with fine red embroidery, with a cream colored cape, half length so it fell just to Geralt’s hips. It was embroidered too, green and pink and so many other colors, despite being overall still mostly cream. The pants were the same creamy fabric with a stripe down each side. Dark boots and a wide, decorative, dark belt completed the look.

“Wow,” Jaskier said.

“Rivian traditional clothing,” Geralt muttered. 

“I thought you’d hardly actually been to Rivia,” Jaskier said,.It was a better choice than the other thoughts in his head, which were half-formed screams about how absolutely skin tight those pants were.

“I haven’t been, but my...character is.”

“Right,” Jaskier said, dragging his eyes above Geralt’s shoulders. “My fiance, Ludomir of Rivia.”

Geralt said nothing.

Jaskier kicked himself for mentioning the fiance thing.

“We should go,” he said.

And they went.

The lord’s castle was small, as castles go, and the guards at the gate didn’t even bother to check their invitations. With all the other lords and ladies streaming past, no one would guess that the pair were out of place. Jaskier and Geralt enterred the ballroom and Jaskier felt his stomach drop straight through to his shoes.

The walls were positively lined with Nilfgaardian soldiers. Geralt’s shoulders stiffened too, but they steered themselves to a feast table as if nothing was wrong.

It took them almost a full circle of the tables to find the two little cards for ‘Viscount de Lettenhove’ and ‘Guest’. Getting onto the guest list had been laughably easy, and Jaskier just sent up a silent prayer of thanks that the stupid title was finally useful for something.

They sat in their places and guests populated the seats around them. There was a lady next to Jaskier who already smelled of the strongly alcoholic sherry that was being served. Her hair, probably a wig towered, and was strung all over with so many pearls and little tiny golden ornaments that when she stepped outside she must surely be attacked by magpies.

“My lady,” Jaskier said, as chivalrous as he could around a mouthful of her rose perfume. “I’m afraid we haven’t had a chance to be introduced.”

“Oooh,” she giggled, “You’re sweet, I’m Dame Au’Vigne, and I can see by your card that you are the Viscount de Lettenhove, I knew your father.”

Yes, Jaskier thought. I remember, he turned down your proposal. Jaskier had been a lad then, barely eight years old, but he remembered through a child’s eyes a mountain of lace and perfume who had offered to marry his father while actually at his mother’s funeral.

“It’s a pleasure,” he said. Heinous bitch, he thought. He remembered rumors too, which are always a bard’s stock and trade, that Dame Au’Vigne’s husbands were always wealthy, usually handsome, and all of them had shockingly short lifespans. 

Rumor also had it that she was backing Nilfgaard financially and had been playing the shipping stock with insider knowledge of their movements. A very good person to be seated next to tonight. 

“May I introduce my fiance, Ludomir of Rivia,” Jaskier said, gesturing to Geralt. Geralt nodded and hummed, somewhat politely.

“How handsome,” Dame Au’Vigne stage whispered. “Where ever did you find him?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Jaskier said.

The lord of the castle stood up and gave a droning speech. It was full of euphemisms about ‘upholding standards’ and ‘fostering strong relations’ that boiled down to ‘I’m an untrustworthy bastard who believes that allowing the deaths of my people en masse is fine so long as I make money.’ It was depressing, too, as Jaskier looked around the ballroom to see so many people nodding in agreement. 

Traitors and bastards, the lot of them.

Geralt’s face hadn’t changed even an inch.

“So,” Dame Au’Vigne said as the appetizer course was served. “You two aren’t exactly in a honeymoon phase, are you?”

And she was right, for a couple, newly engaged, Jaskier and Geralt hadn’t acted the part yet at all.

“I’m afraid,” Jaskier said, inventing wildly. “That we’re both just a touch nervous, the engagement is so new, you see, and this is our first event,” he took Geralt’s hand, above the table, so Dame Au’Vigne could see. “As a couple.”

“Oh how sweet,” she said airily. “You know, they’ll have dancing between the courses, it’ll be a great way for you to wet your social feet. Sir Erdin and the lady in the lavender dress,” she pointed across the ballroom. “They’re newly engaged as well.” She lowered her voice.

“Sir Erdin is very supportive of the cause, word has it he’s in with the very inner circle,” Dame Au’Vigne giggled, as if being in the inner circle of a murderous group of intruders was as delightful as a recent engagement.

“How interesting!” Jaskier said, affecting a jealous and impressed tone. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Geralt’s eyebrow twitch, the way it did when he was listening hard.

“Oh yes,” Dame Au’Vigne said. “And Lord Snapcase, in the corner, he...” and she went on, was the marvelous thing, she couldn’t seem to help herself but gossip about everyone. And she had all these details about how they were helping ‘the cause’. Destiny must have finally decided to throw Jaskier and Geralt a bone.

Then the appetizer course was finished and Jaskier felt much less lucky. Dame Au’Vigne was ushering him and Geralt out of their seats to dance. It wasn’t one of the quick, hopping around, switching partners dances either. No, the band seemed insistent on only slow, romantic music. 

Awkwardly, Geralt slid one large hand around Jaskier’s waist and they turned in slow circles on the dance floor. The witcher’s face looked like a thunderclap.

“Try and look like you’re having fun, darling,” Jaskier said. Please don’t look at me as though holding me is torture, his inner self begged.

“Hmmm,” Geralt said. Jaskier leaned in.

“Really dear heart,” he leaned in even closer, lips almost touching Geralt’s ear. “People are going to suspect something,” he said in the barest of whispers.

“Let them,” Geralt hissed back in the same fashion. “We’ve got the information, we can leave.” 

Jaskier, keeping up appearances, tossed his head back and let out a delighted shriek of laughter, as if Geralt had just told him a joke or, perhaps, made a wonderfully indecent proposal.

“Later, perhaps,” he said, stage-whispering for the sake of those around them. Leaning in again he whispered for real, “We can’t leave until the party’s over, no one else will, they’d send some of those soldiers after us for sure.”

The music changed, and Geralt and Jaskier’s slow circles changed speed with it. 

Geralt hissed in his ear again, “I don’t see why I had to be your,” this close Jaskier could see Geralt’s jaw working with distaste. “Lover.”

“Fiance,” Jaskier said, trying not to let his heart sink. It couldn’t possibly go any lower. “There’s a difference.”

They said no more to each other, and after the second dance, declined the third to sit back at their seats and await the arrival of the soup course.

The man sat beside Geralt was some old military man, mostly mustache and the rest of him was a rather musty and very old fashioned uniform. It had gold braid and a colonel’s insignia. The hat that sat next to his chair had a plume. 

He leaned over to Geralt and said, rather loudly, in a voice that implied tone deafness, to both volume and social situations, “Just marrying him for the money, eh?”

People to both sides of Jaskier and Geralt looked around. Dame Au’Vigne looked at them askance.

“Hmmm,” Geralt said. It was a negative answer to the colonel’s question, but the man didn’t take it as such.

“Often is the way,” the man nearly bellowed. “My missus hated me right up to the day she died.”

Jaskier curled in on himself. The role of Viscount wasn’t a big one, mostly administrative and, these days, completed by his sister Rowena, who was better at sitting behind a desk. Still, argued a battered part of his long ago but still proper upbringing. The name of Pankratz was being dragged through the mud. Lots of these people would know the name too, these sour, vindictive, unpleasant, murderous people. And they’d know the gossip, would have taken part in the gossip about ‘Young Julian running off to be a bard,’ (this generally said with the same tone as is usually leant to slave trader) and how ‘he’ll never find a good marriage now,’ how he was ‘a disgrace to the name.’ 

And here was their long awaited confirmation. Jaskier-Julian, couldn’t find a good marriage, was being wed only for his money. Of course, more than half the pairings here were only in it for the money, but to have it said, so loudly too, and before the wedding had even happened, it was social condemnation.

Jaskier looked down at the table cloth, his face hot. He’d faced social condemnation before, of course, he’d survive. What hurt was that Geralt wasn’t really protesting, Geralt couldn’t even pretend to like Jaskier, not for a single evening. Twenty years he’d done a good enough job of acting to convince even Jaskier, mostly, apart from the punches and the insults and...maybe Jaskier had been a little blind to the truth but still. 

It was ruining their cover though, so he protested quietly. “Not just for the money,” he said, patting Geralt’s hand where one fist wrapped around his goblet. “My fiance is just shy, that’s all.”

The damage was already done, but the old colonel hiccupped. “Well lad,” he said, giving Geralt a slap on the back. “This ale’s pretty good so drink up. Got me through three years of happy marriage, strong ale did.” The man took a slug of his own drink. “And fourty seven more unhappy years.” He guffawed hugely and unpleasantly, little drops of ale flinging from his mustache. 

Wherever the soul of the unpleasant man’s dead wife was, Jaskier felt sure she was happy to be away from this miserable old drunk.

Geralt, however, was looking at Jaskier. Their eyes met. Jaskier knew he probably looked as hunted as he felt, and his cheeks were probably still burning from the embarassment. Still, it seemed as though Geralt was about to say something. His golden eyes were full of emotion, but Jaskier couldn’t parse out what kind. 

Whatever kind it was, it caused Geralt to take the colonel’s advice and drink like there was no tomorrow. 

Great. Jaskier had driven his companion to drinking. 

He felt a little like doing so himself. 

The soup course was good, hot and savory, but underspiced. Geralt slurped it up gratefully. Jaskier knew that rich food was usually too much for his senses if it was spiced to Jaskier’s taste.

More dancing. Jaskier didn’t stand, at first, assuming that Geralt would rather sit and drink more. There were some snickers as people judged him. Geralt stood though, and he offered a hand and led Jaskier to the dance floor.

“You need to act drunk,” Jaskier whispered in his ear. “If you were a normal man you would be.”

“I am acting,” Geralt rumbled.

“You’re very steady for a drunk,” Jaskier sniffed.

“You said I was shy, now I’m less shy,” Geralt whispered. “And I’ve been drinking. So...drunk.” It was torture, being held like this, having that voice in Jaskier’s ear. That hand, so warm cupping his own. He wanted to cry.

A couple whirled past them. It was the Dame Au’Vigne, gossiping to some new dance partner. A snippet of her words caught them.

“-de Lettenhove. Entirely loveless of course. Unlovable, his father said once, of course as a bard-” then the tide of conversation and other dancers stole the rest of the words.

Jaskier sagged. His father hadn’t been a nice man, and unlovable wasn’t the worst of what he’d been called in his life, but now, with Geralt so close and so disgusted by the prospect...well, it hit a little close to home. 

“Laugh,” Geralt whispered in his ear.

“What?” Jaskier hissed.

“Like before, laugh like before, but...more so. Pretend I said a dirty joke.”

Jaskier did, heads turned as he pretended to laugh, half scandalized and half delighted at something Geralt said.

Geralt even chuckled along with him. Then his hand crept down Jaskier’s back to his hip. It wasn’t dirty. It was just so,so spine tinglingly close to dirty.

It was almost worse. If Geralt had gripped his ass that would have been bad, but this, Jaskier was left to speculate. He had a very active imagination. The couples next to them were giggling and tittering, scandalized, but not too much, at the pair.

They danced all three dances. During the second dance Geralt spun Jaskier out and then back in flashily, dipping him over one arm like a dainty maiden. Jaskier, who was no dainty maiden, knew the strength that elaborate dip must have taken and his head spun. The third dance was slow, and once again they simply held one another and turned in slow circles. Except Geralt pressed their cheeks together in a way that was so intimate that Jaskier finally gave in. Just tonight he had Geralt, all of him, his attention, his warmth. 

There was only so much a bard could take, and Jaskier gave in to the fantasy.

“I wonder how Yennefer is,” Geralt whispered. “And Ciri.”

It was like having cold water poured all over him. Jaskier’s fantasy shattered as soon as it had formed. Of course Geralt wasn’t enjoying this, of course his mind was elsewhere. He had a beautiful sorceress to think of, even if they weren’t sleeping together. Geralt and Yennefer and Ciri made the perfect, happy family. Where did Jaskier fit in to that?

He pulled back a little, already missing the warmth of Geralt’s cheek against his own. They finished the dance stiffly.

Back at the table, squished between Dame Au’Vigne and the colonel, the main course was awful. Jaskier couldn’t judge it on the food, which he barely tasted. Dame Au’Vigne and the colonel, however, had apparently come to the conclusion that Geralt or, Ludomir, rather, was marrying Jaskier for the money and the sex. They tittered, loudly and drunkely, to those around, and Geralt leaned in.

“Surely we can leave after this course,” he whispered.

Desperate to be rid of the charade, Jaskier thought. To not have to be engaged to me. “Can’t,” he whispered. “Have to stay for dessert and more dancing, else it looks suspect.”

“Hmmm.” It was a displeased hum.

“And, there will be small talk, with dessert. You need to say something, people will think you’re mute.”

“You two twitter into one another’s ears all the time,” Dame Au’Vigne said loudly. She was fully drunk off the sherry and very loud. “But not one kiss,” she lowered her voice, as if trying to be discreet. It didn’t work. “Is it truly as loveless as they say? I know you aren’t waiting until marriage.”

As who say? Jaskier thought. The only person quite that invested seems to be you.

“Not loveless,” Jaskier said. It seemed weak even to his ears.

“Surely you’ll join the dancing again, then,” Dame Au’Vigne said. 

“No,” Jaskier said, fiddling with his napkin. “I’m feeling quite too full to dance, ate too fast, I’m afraid.” He hoped she was too drunk to notice he’d picked at his plate. It seemed she was.

“Lovely little veranda, get some air there,” said a man who, according to Dame Au’Vigne, was shipping weapons to Nilfgaard behind the backs of multiple heads of state.

Jaskier nodded,stood, bowed, and made his escape. He sighed, but wasn’t surprised to find that Geralt had followed along behind. Of course he wanted to escape the party too, but Jaskier wanted to escape...him.

To his shame and surprise, he found tears in his eyes. The pressure of sitting in a room chock full of people who wanted to kill him, combined with the fact that every last one of them reminded him of being bullied in school, and add to that that he was supposed to be fake engaged to Geralt...it was too much. Fake engaged and even in their fake engagement Geralt didn’t like Jaskier. 

Jaskier’s rational brain knew that Geralt did like him, mostly. He just didn’t love him.

Jaskier leaned his elbows on the railing, overlooking some moonlit gardens, and felt the tears roll down his face.

“They think I don’t like you,” Geralt said quietly.

“Yes,” Jaskier said. He knew Geralt could smell the salt of his tears or whatever, but still turned his face away so the witcher couldn’t see.

“I danced with you though.”

Jaskier chuckled wetly. “Nobles dance with people they hate all the time.”

Geralt was quiet for a minute then, very gently, he took one of Jaskier’s hands. “I don’t hate you.”

It was too much, Jaskier started crying in earnest, sobbing.

“C’mon, Jaskier, I like you. A lot.” Geralt was, for him, panicking clearly. Jaskier almost smiled. He was so bad at dealing with other people’s emotion. And his own.

“You’re my friend,” Geralt said, a little stuntedly. “You know I’m not a good liar.”

Too much. Twenty-two years and he finally said the word ‘friends’ and Jaskier wanted more. He whipped around to face Geralt.

“Tell me the truth, then, Geralt. Tell me you love me, it doesn’t have to be the truth for forever, but can you love me just for a night? Can you make it the truth for tonight?” Jaskier’s tears were ugly and blobby and drying up fast but he continued.

“Because I’ve loved you so long I don’t know any other truth,” He leaned forward and planted his forhead on Geralt’s collarbone and sniffled through the last of his tears, curling one, shaking fist into Geralt’s lovely pale cape as he cried. “Just this one night, Geralt, love me back.”

He hadn’t meant to say any of it, was half expecting Geralt to toss him off the low balcony into the bushes below. 

Instead Jaskier was lifted by two strong arms and sat down on the railing. Warm, delightful lips pressed against his and suddenly he was being kissed within an inch of his life. 

“The truth, you want,” Geralt said, pulling back and panting. “Is the only one I can give. I can’t pretend to love you.” Here Geralt looked into Jaskier’s eyes, like being struck by lightning. “I only love you, no pretending, I swear it.”

“But-” Jaskier was cut off.

“They think I don’t like you,” Geralt said, furiously. “I think you think I don’t like you, Jaskier I like you, I love you so much I don’t know what to do and I’m...I’m not good with words. Or emotions.” Geralt’s shoulders dropped a little. “I just am, and the way I am is... The way I am is better with you.” 

Geralt’s face screwed up with anguish. “And I’m the reason you think I don’t like you, it’s my fault and that feels so...so bad. Yennefer’s been working with me on the feelings thing and always says ‘bad isn’t a feeling’ but I can’t tell you what all the feeling is.”

Jaskier was staring, mouth open, as frustrated, stilted, fumbling words left Geralt’s mouth. They sounded angry, but only at himself. Geralt was looking up at him as if seeking benediction.

“Tell me you love me again,” Jaskier said.

“I love you.”

“Again.”

“I love you.”

“Again.”

Jaskier giggled as Geralt lifted him and spun him around before tucking him in close and kissing his forehead.

“I,” he said.

A kiss to Jaskier’s nose. “Love.”

A deep, breathtaking kiss to his lips. “You.”

There was nothing left for Jaskier to say except, “wow.”

Geralt smiled, that lovely warm little smile he saved for special times and offered his arm to Jaskier. “Shall we?”

They paraded back into the ballroom and danced the final dance of the set. Geralt whispered a suggestion of what he’d really like for dessert and this time Jaskier didn’t have to fake the scandalized giggle. “Back home, perhaps,” he said.

Dessert meant more conversation with Dame Au’Vigne, which was of course unbearable. There was plenty of Champagne though, which was pretty good, and the bubbles seemed to fill Jaskier all the way up. He took pleasure in picturing the downfall of all these horrible people when Nilfgaard was finally defeated for good.

He especially enjoyed sticking it to her gossip when he fed Geralt a strawberry with cream from his fingertips and recieved a kiss in thanks. Geralt was clearly enjoying himself too. He had a sweet tooth, and that certainly helped, but his hand that never left Jaskier’s under the table was a much better clue.

They walked back to the inn, flushed and warm in the cool night air, bidding farewell to the other drunken lords and ladies all filtering to finer inns or grand coaches. 

Then they were alone on their path back, Geralt’s witcher senses confirming their isolation. Then, Geralt, who never told lies, whispered sweet nothings into Jaskier’s ear the entire way home. Jaskier believed every single one.

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It’s done, this one’s quite long and I loved writing it. Geralt is useless at playing pretend, but very good at loving Jaskier in his own way. I imagine his emotion lessons with Yennefer must have been rather intense. 

[greatbigbellies]

New anonymous commission story! This is another hyperpregnant slice of life piece, about a couple of boys who find out that they can conceive additional babies mid-pregnancy which will grow to catch up to the largest sibling, resulting in rapid growth for one of the husbands! Contains hyperpregnancy, tmpreg, some weight gain and lactation, mild belly worship, and allusions to sex.

Leo sat in the passenger seat of he and Marko’s sedan, his boyfriend behind the wheel. The pair sat in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. They’d received some… rather shocking news from Leo’s most recent doctors appointment. All three babies were fine, all perfectly healthy... but that was precisely the point, all THREE were healthy. At three months in, Leo was at the tail end of his first trimester, and when he started, there was supposedly only one in his womb. Then a few weeks ago, they were suddenly expecting fraternal twins. Then finally, today, triplets, all inexplicably at the same stage of growth.

“What’s going through you mind, hon?” Marko finally asked, breaking the silence. Leo brushed a few brown, fluffy hairs out of his face with one hand, and held his tummy protectively with the other. “I’m just… I’m floored we’re having three kids! I’m just… confused I guess? Like we were set with one for a while… and then two… and now…” Leo trailed off. Marko squinted in concentration as he thought of how to word his theory. “I… think I know the pattern… I don’t think it’s a matter of the doctors just mysteriously being unable to count…” Leo could tell where this was going. “You mean…” Marko nodded. “Think about it? There was the night we conceived after the party… that’s one. Then there was minigolf night...” Marko began listing off. Leo nodded, “Yeah, Minigolf was fun, we need to do that again sometime,” Leo smiled. Marko raised an eyebrow, “Like… just the minigolf, or what came after too?” 

Leo turned to him and batted his eyelashes, “I dunno, can you get another hole in one?” Marko felt himself start to blush. He was typically the more dominant one, but Leo knew how to push his buttons. “Besides, I wanna test your theory. See if I wake up with four tomorrow,” Marko was now no longer ‘starting to blush’ and was instead outright blushing. “Are you teasing me, or are you serious? Cause our turn to go golfing comes up in two blocks,” Leo put his hand in Marko’s shoulder, leaned over, and said “put another baby in me,”

Marko smiled mischievously, eager to relive their minigolf date. “But! If I win you gotta buy me a sundae. The babies want hot fudge,” Leo teased. Marko’s grin widened. “Nah hon, I’m gonna get a hole in one, beat your ass at minigolf, buy you TWO sundaes, watch you eat them, then we’ll fuck like there ain’t no tomorrow,” he said, wearing his confident smile proudly. Now it was Leo’s turn to blush, turning away and putting his hands over his mouth and cheeks. “Fuck, I hate it when you get all assertive like that,” he said through his hands. Marko laughed. “No you don’t, you little bottom!” Leo erupted in laughter himself, his adorable, irregular laugh like music to Marko’s ears.

“I mean… in fairness, you’re too competitive to lose on purpose, but too much of a gentleman to let a pregnant guy go hungry,” the praise elicited another more subtle blush from Marko, two ran his hand through his short, black undercut. “I mean… you need lots of calcium for the babies. There’s milk in ice cream so, like… it’s good for you right now?” Marko stumbled to his point. Leo chucked and lifted the hem of his beige sweater up to his chest, exposing his tiny first trimester tummy, looking ever so slightly pudgy from being 3 months along. Marko’s blush shifted to a deeper red and he tried to focus on the road, but was a sucker for Leo’s belly. “You’re going to get so big with four babies,” he said, his voice just slightly quivering in anticipation.

“Why stop at four?” asked Leo. “Are you serious?” replied Marko. “100%. We’ve talked about this before. We both love…” he gestured to his bare tummy, “THIS. We both have decided to take on fatherhood, why not just… shoot for the moon?” he put his shirt back down. Marko pulled into “Albatross Minigolf” and put the car in park, looking very seriously at Leo. “That’s going to be really hard on your body,” “I know,” “We’ll need a bigger car,” “I know,” “We’ll need a bigger APARTMENT!” “Marko… we’ll be fine! We only get to really do this once, lets make the most of it!” said Leo reassuringly. Marko wasn’t sure if “this” meant pregnancy, parenthood, or life in general, but he didn’t care. He kissed Leo on the lips, beyond excited to watch his boyfriend grow huge with his babies.

He got out of the car and ran around to the other side to get the door for Leo. He was more than prepared to dote on the man, already deciding he’d get Leo THREE sundaes after minigolf. After all, they’d need some calories to burn.

3 months later

Now six months along, and swollen with large sextuplets, Leo was solidly what one would call ‘very, VERY pregnant’. His usual button up flannel shirts had grown tighter and tighter until they wouldn’t button. While the pair did like the belly out, unbuttoned shirt look, Leo preferred to be more modest when in public. As the temperature dropped due to the coming of autumn, Leo had switched to his larger sweatshirts to remain covered, and even those didn’t really do the job anymore. Now looking overdue with quads, he waddled through the Willowbrook Square Mall wearing that same beige sweater he wore during minigolf night, once two sizes too big, now pulled tight over his bump and only reaching just above his navel.

To cover his lower belly, he wore a supportive belly band to help redistribute the weight of his womb and provide some modesty. Unfortunately for Leo, but much to Marko’s delight, the top hem of the belly belt and bottom hem of the shirt couldn’t quite meet, resulting in a cheeky strip of exposed tummy, complete with his popped navel peeking out.

Leo’s belly swayed slowly back and forth as he waddled next to Marko, squeezing his hand. He absolutely loved being so pregnant, but he tended to get colder feet in public. He was a sight to behold, and people weren’t shy about staring at his impressive bump. “I think that lady has intentionally hopped from store to store to keep me in view,” whispered Leo meekly, “She just keeps watching me, it’s weird,” “Bet she’s jealous of how great you look,” chuckled Marko. “Marko! I’m serious!” Leo hissed, “I like being this big but I don’t like being the center of attention!”

Marko raised an eyebrow, not liking his boyfriend being nervous. “I can talk to her if you’d like?” Leo shook his head, “Nono, I don’t want confrontation, I just want… honestly I just want a milkshake…” he said as cravings shifted his focus to his empty stomach. With each added baby to his womb, his appetite grew stronger, even as the amount of room in his smooshed digestive system grew smaller. Marko swiftly steered the pair toward the food court, knowing exactly what to get him.

Leo wasn’t much of a foodie before pregnancy, but getting knocked up had not only expanded his palette, but increased his appetite to the point Marko was constantly feeding him. He had actually become something of a good cook, and really enjoyed feeding Leo. As a result of his new caloric intake, Leo has began to physically soften with time, his thighs and ass become pillowier, and for the first time in his life, he had love handles. Marko took this as a point of pride, that his cooking was good enough to make someone a little pudgy. Of course, the constant flow of ice cream treats certainly didn’t hurt either.

“Any preferences, dear?” Marko asked as he helped Leo ease into a chair, which had to be pulled away form the table to make enough room for the belly. “Where you buying?” He asked. Marko tilted his head toward one of the chain restaurants in the court, “Sonic has the biggest shakes here, and I know you like car-” “Carmel oreo please,” grinned Leo. Marko’s heart flittered a little bit at Leo’s innocent smile, still in the honeymoon phase even after being together for so long. He nodded and made his way toward the Sonic, leaving Leo to sit and rest his aching feet.

He placed his hands on the top shelf of his belly, and scanned the food court. He was semi-used to being stared at by this point. Being visibly trans, being in a visibly gay relationship, hell, even his nose ring got glares from older folks. But this felt different, it wasn’t him they were stealing glances of, it was his belly. He felt a draft blow across the sliver of exposed skin between his sweater and belly belt, and felt a little self conscious. To make matters worse, the woman who had been stalking him made a b-line and was actually approaching him. He considered getting up and moving, but knew he’d reached the point in size and weight were he really needed Mareko’s help to do anything quickly.

“Excuse me!” she said, Leo braced for the worst. “I’m sorry, I know I’ve been following you around, we’ve made eye contact like 4 times, but I really need to ask you something,” she continued. Poor Leo grimaced and prepared for the worst. What invasive question would he have to answer this time? She took a seat at his table, sitting across from him. She made eye contact and seemed very direct, something Leo wasn’t super crazy about.

“So my friend is pregnant, and she’s carrying decuplets, and she’s really starting to struggle with her size… where did you get that tummy support thing?” Leo blinked, feeling like an overhyped bandaid was just painlessly torn off. “Oh, uh, there’s a place across town that sells maternity wear, called ‘twins n’ up’, and the owner makes their own stuff. They, uh, they custom made it for me,” he answered. The lady nodded intently and made several notes on her phone.

“Is this lady bothering you, hon?” asked Marko as he returned with 32 ounces of creamy milkshake. “No, actually she was just asking me about this!” Leo pulled the hem of his supporting belt, letting it snap back against is belly. “I swear I’m not trying to harass your husband, he’s just the first person i’ve seen who is as pregnant is my friend and I wanted to know where he got his clothes. I’ll leave you guys alone now, thank you!” she said to Marko, offering her seat to him. Marko’s protective nature made him a little cautious of the woman’s intentions, but she seemed harmless enough. “Take care!” smiled Leo as she left. Marko sat across from him, and handed him the milkshake.

Marko chuckled, “I guess we look like husbands now?” Leo took a long, indulgent sip of his shake, basking in the sugaryness of it all. “I mean, we are growing our family quite a bit,” he patted his tummy, “I think it’s a fair assumption we’re married,” Marko considered the situation for a moment and realized, yeah, it WAS a fair assumption they be married, or at least engaged… maybe it was near time he brought assumption to reality…

3 more months later

Marko and Leo were currently no longer boyfriends. Rather, they were fiances! Marko popped the question privately after a very fun and successful baby shower, and Leo immediately said yes. Some tears of happiness were shed, celebratory cake was consumed, and more babies were added to Leo’s ever swelling womb later that night. Things were progressing smoothly for the expecting couple as they’d moved from their old smaller apartment to a larger, open floor house. 

Now 9 months pregnant with thirteen babies, Leo was a sight to behold. His belly was permanently bared, no wardrobe in the country able to cover his bump. Through some luck, good genes, and lots of cocoa butter, he’d managed to avoid any stretchmarks, but his navel was thoroughly popped. While he’d started the pregnancy off on the skinny side, Marko’s endless flow of food had made sure baby weight accumulated, and now everything from his legs to his chest was growing. The only part of him that didn’t seem to gain any weight was his face, which was still lithe and adorable. His fluffy brown hair had only grown fluffier and fuller with the prenatal vitamins he was taking. He had to lose his blonde highlight though, as the babies could absorb chemicals through hair exposure, strangely enough.

Marko had been hard at work unpacking their whole life into this new house, as Leo had grown too large to really do much besides be doted on, which Marko was fine with. He’d set up their bedroom, and taken the doors off their hinges and removed the doorframes to buy Leo just a few precious weeks of being able to travel through doorways. At the rate they were going, they would need every inch of their open floorplan just for Leo’s titanic tummy.

Leo’s belly now held not only tredecuplets, but enough amniotic fluid to stay full and spherical. He was clocking in at around 300 lbs, and just under half of that was belly. Through the help of Marko, Leo could still walk… but getting up and down was a challenge. Leo’s belly was beyond bigger around than he was tall, and there were substantial portions where he could no longer reach. That didn’t stop the couple from conceiving more though. Even at thirteen full and pregnant beyond words, the couple still had plans for more. Call it some kind of hedonism, but Leo loved being bred and growing ever more massive, and Marko loved to watch. 

Even now, well into January, large snowflakes lazily falling outside, the pair were together, warm and happy. Leo had basically outgrown the couch at this point, his belly more wide than the cushions were deep. Instead, they had splurged on an electric recliner which was situated facing slightly to the right of the television, so that Leo could lay back in a reclined position, but only had to turn his head to see the TV, since he couldn’t see past his own tummy straight on at this point. Strong visible kicks could be seen occasionally poking out of his tightly stretched skin, often in places out of view from Leo himself. 

He sat, laid back in his large, cushy recliner, eating some chinese takeout Marko had picked up for him. He set the styrofoam container on his chest, idly scooping noodles into his waiting mouth. A chow mein noodle fell into his cleavage, something he didn’t have 6 months ago, and he picked it out with his chop sticks, hoping Marko didn’t notice him miss his mouth.

Marko didn’t notice, too enarmored with his future husband’s massive midriff. He got to see it every day, and yet every day he somehow loved it more. His hands were almost always touching it, only off of the bump when cooking or otherwise doing housework. He knew this had to be hard for Leo, being so massive and carrying so many, so Marko worked hard to do his part. Anything Leo wanted, he got. Specific foods, foot rubs, new clothes, a bigger belly… all of it was hand delivered by Marko himself. For being the more dominant of the pairing, he’d become something of a servant as Leo grew closer to immobility.

Right now, Marko had a dining room chair pulled up next to Leo, and was working cocoa butter into the side of his tummy, working slowly to both be gentile and maximize his time spent touching it. It amazed him how no matter his size, or how many were in there, his overburdened belly still had just a little give to it. Leo smiled, watching his partner be just engrossed with his tummy. “You have such a hopeless belly kink,” he chuckled. “Hmmm? Me?” Marko said, almost missing the question cause he was staring at the belly. “Yes you! Even before I got knocked up you liked touching me there! Who’s hands were on my tummy when we made out the first time?” Marko blushed. “I mean, yeah mine... but also who was so eager he got close enough that our glasses hooked on themselves? Who was so willing he whispered how he wanted a ‘baby in him right then and there?’,” Marko teased. 

Leo was the one blushing now, thinking back to one of their first dates. Little did he know just HOW MANY babies would be put in him later in life. “Is it… bad I still want you to put a baby in me?” he said, embarrassed by his own words and avoiding eye contact. Marko set aside the cocoa butter and stood up, taking a good look at the tummy that lay before him. “No… I don’t think it’s bad… but I wonder if there’s room in that belly for any more?” he teased, pressing the tips of his fingers into Leo’s exposed tummy.

“Oh come on Mark, don’t make me beg, you said you’d take care of me?” Leo teased right back, deepening his finance’s blush. “Hmmm…” he rested the side of his head on the front end of Leo’s belly, listening to the ambient, living sounds from inside. “It SOUNDS pretty full, can one guy get any more pregnant?” Leo crossed his arms and mock-pouted. “I won’t ever find out if you keep talking...” Marko leaned over Leo, casting a shadow across his face. “So you’re ready for number 14?” he grinned. Leo wrapped his hand around the back of Marko’s head and pulled him in for a kiss before whispering, “Why stop there?”

Another 3 months later

Marko had needed to make some calls. He had a few contacts with the fabrication industry, and knew some guys always willing to help him out. Now a year pregnant, and full of 20 babies, Leo no longer fit standard furniture. He was simply too large and heavy for traditional couches and chairs. Instead, Marko’s friends had put their heads together, and fashioned him a special, form fitting lounge chair, with a sturdy metal frame and soft, satiny cushions. They even thought ahead and made certain parts of it adjustable to accommodate for his growing size. And growing he was. Now beyond overdue, the growth of his still healthy brood pushed his body to new maximums. Leo often joked about how his womb would need its own zipcode soon.

Leo buttoned his shirt back up, setting the pumping apparatus on the table next to him. He’d had to start pumping his milk, or his breasts would begin leaking on their own, and frankly, he didn't want colostrum on his plaid flannels. “Hon, could you put that in the fridge?” he asked, pointing at the bottles of milk he’d produced. Marko ran his hand along the circumference of Leo’s belly as he moved past him, slightly tickling Leo in the process. He took the bottles and placed them in the fridge before circling back. “How’re you feeling honey?” he asked. “Big. Pregnant. Massive, really,” Leo answered. “Just how you like it?” Marko replied. Leo grinned, “Yeeeaaahhh,”

Marko placed his hands firmly on the expanse of pale, pregnant skin, and started kissing. Leo squirmed on his throne of pregnancy as his husband moved slowly up his belly toward his face. Marko gave him a deep, passionate kiss on the lips, causing Leo’s breath to shake slightly. “You love me so much,” he said in his quivering voice. “I”m so massive and pregnant and huge and round and you adore me like this.” he continued, getting a little emotional. “Of course I do,” replied Marko, giving his lovely husband a side-hug. “You’re my person, and you’re carrying a lot of persons, just for me, and that’s not easy. And I appreciate it. And I want you to know that I love you, both for doing that and for just being you!” Said Marko tenderly. Leo teared up a little, reaching out for another hug. Marko obliged, Leo wiping a couple tears on Marko’s 80’s style denim button-up.

“I couldn’t do all this without you, y’know… all… THIS!” Leo gestured to his astounding belly, which nudged with movement slightly in response. “You shouldn’t ever have to, babe. That’s why we have each other,” The two shared a tender silence, Marko rocking back and forth slowly. Leo sniffed and shook his head, “Augh, sorry. Pregnancy hormones… y’know… make me all emotional.” he said. “You’re allowed to be emotional, babe,” reassured Marko. “I know…” nodded Leo. 

Leo’s tummy rumbled and Marko chuckled, “You also get emotional when you’re hungry…” he pointed out. Leo laughed his bubbly, infectious laugh. “Yeah, I can’t argue with that… lemme see… the babies want…” he paused, “Potato soup!” Marko nodded, making his way to the kitchen to cook a huge batch. “Anything for you, my love,”

[datheetjoella]

Fantober 2020, Day 30: Domesticated

Author: DatHeetJoella Fandom: Free! Pairing: MakoHaru Rating: T Part: 30/31 (read the full collection here) Word count: 1,821 Tags: Canonverse, Established Relationship, Fluff, Domesticity, Accidental Marriage Proposal Read at: AO3, FFn, or right here!

                                             -----------------------------------

Unlike many others, Haruka didn't go to work in the morning with dread in his gut. He had turned his passion into his career and despite there still being days when we'd rather swim leisurely than be barked at by his coach, he hadn't reached the point yet where he had gotten tired of training.

Nevertheless, Haruka's favourite moment of the day was unlocking the door to their apartment, where he could relax on the couch and unwind in the bath, but most importantly, where he could see Makoto again. Finally, that moment had arrived.

Muffled noises resonated through the walls, informing him that Makoto was home early. That knowledge brought a smile to Haruka's face. Although his day had been pretty good so far, he could always use a bright grin, a loving embrace and a tender kiss. Time to replenish his Makoto-well.

He stashed his key back into his pocket and pushed down the doorknob. "I'm home," he called out as he kicked off his shoes. He didn't get a response, so he ditched his bag in front of the bathroom door and went inside.

Makoto was standing in the middle of the living room with his back turned to him, pushing their wireless, low-decibel vacuum around the coffee table. It had been a gift from his mom on his previous birthday - yes, Haruka had reached the age where his parents gave him practical things as presents. Recently, she had become obsessed with high-tech appliances and after he off-handedly mentioned the cord of the vacuum getting tangled when he was on the phone with her while cleaning, she took it upon herself to rid him of those issues.

It had cost far more than Haruka would ever be willing to pay for a vacuum cleaner, but admittedly, it performed amazingly and left their old, cheap one in the dust. Vacuuming had been at the bottom of both of their lists in terms of chore-preferences, but this one ran so smoothly it eradicated the reasons they disliked it.

But the vacuum wasn't why Makoto hadn't heard him; after all, it was relatively quiet. It were the headphones covering his ears that caused him to miss Haruka's arrival.

Haruka opened his mouth to call out again rather than touching his shoulder or jumping in front of him, lest he startle him. But he abruptly shut up when Makoto started to sing along to his music.

His soft voice filled the room, bouncing off the walls and the notes immediately nestled themselves in a chamber of Haruka's heart. Ever since they were kids, Makoto had been the better singer between the two of them, but as he grew older and his voice matured, Makoto improved even more. His vocal range was pretty wide so he could effortlessly sing along to a variety of genres, be it mellow ballads or high-tempo rock songs. While Makoto's voice was already a treat to listen to when he talked, hearing him sing was a rare but very welcome massage to Haruka's eardrums.

To suit his voice, Makoto's taste in music was also very broad. He enjoyed almost anything, so sharing earbuds with him or passing him the aux cord in the car meant Haruka was in for a surprise. This time, he was singing along to an upbeat song by some foreign pop group that was often played on the radio and in stores. The lyrics described the sea breeze and silver sand on a summer night and although it was a bit out of season now they were well into autumn, Makoto's beautiful voice made it sound like a timeless serenade.

With bated breath, Haruka watched and listened. The sight of Makoto singing while vacuuming was rather mundane, something that could happen on any given day of the week, yet it made Haruka's chest brim with profound affection. He could travel the world, eat mackerel at Michelin-star restaurants, swim in every body of water within existence, and he still wouldn't be as happy as he was now. Trophies and the thrill of competing were a great bonus, but all that mattered was this; after work, he came home to the person he loved more than life itself, carefree and content.

When Makoto turned around the table to vacuum the floor on the other side, their eyes met and a wide smile lit up his handsome face. "Ah, Haru, I didn't hear you come in. Welcome home."

Naturally, Haruka smiled too. "I'm home," he said again.

After he turned off the vacuum, Makoto fished his phone out of his pocket to stop the music and put his headphones down on the table. Then, he went over to Haruka to engulf him in a big hug and welcome him home properly. As their lips met in a gentle kiss, Haruka realised he had been wrong; this was his favourite moment of the day.

He cupped Makoto's face, the faintest hint of stubble on his jaw prickling his fingertips and although it was a feeling he otherwise found unpleasant, the roughness was kind of nice now. It was a part of Makoto and since it would be gone tomorrow morning after he shaved, Haruka had to savour it now.

Makoto pulled back sooner than he would've liked, but Haruka wouldn't sweat it. There was more than enough time left in the day to dedicate to loving kisses.

"When you unload your bag, you can leave your towels and swimsuit in front of the washing machine instead of putting them in the laundry basket," Makoto said, "I'm doing laundry anyway so I'll put them in once this round is done."

"Vacuuming, doing laundry," Haruka said with a huff of amusement, "Are you aiming to be a house husband?"

"Depends." Makoto shrugged. "Are your applications open?"

"I guess."

"Then does that mean I'm hired?"

"Who else would I hire?"

Makoto chuckled. "Does that mean we're married now?"

A large question mark appeared above Haruka's head. Had he just proposed to Makoto? "Engaged, I think?" Haruka said with a frown. This was not how he expected this milestone to go down. He'd thought there would be at least more gasps of surprise, fireworks and perhaps even a tear or two. Not a joking remark on an extraordinarily normal day. "This is the most confusing proposal I've ever heard."

More melodic laughter streamed from Makoto's mouth. "It's not exactly how I had envisioned it either, but I must say I quite like it. It was so easy and natural, like everything else between us is, too," he said and he did have a point. "Besides, I'm happy with the upgrade. I was never a fan of the term 'boyfriends' anyway. 'Fiancés' has a much nicer ring to it, doesn't it?"

In Haruka's opinion, it did sound a lot better. Fiancé was more encompassing than the term boyfriend was, and while Makoto was undoubtedly his boyfriend, he was so much more than that. He was his best friend, his better half, his Makoto. "How did you think of me before if you don't like the word 'boyfriend' then?"

"My partner, my significant other, my best friend with a whole bunch of benefits," Makoto said with a playful raise of his eyebrows, but then he smiled, soft and genuine. "My Haru-chan."

It was the answer Haruka could've predicted, yet it still made heat rush to his cheeks. "Drop the '-chan'."

Makoto snorted. He raised his hand and carded his fingers through Haruka's black locks. "Hey, Haru?"

"What?"

"Do you think I'll be a good husband?"

"Your cooking skills can use some brushing up," Haruka said with a smirk, earning himself an offended 'hey!' from Makoto. "But other than that, you'll be the perfect husband."

"Thanks," Makoto said, leaning down to plant a kiss on the tip of Haruka's nose. "You will, too, but I already told you that, didn't I?"

Haruka nodded, smiling as he recalled it. "During our second year of high school, when I was teaching you how to cook mackerel in miso for Ran and Ren."

"Back then, you said you weren't interested in getting married."

It was true. When he was younger he had no intention to get married, but that was because it wasn't possible to marry Makoto and it wasn't like there was anyone else he wanted to be with. It was a great relief that over the years, it had become an option. "I changed my mind."

A warm twinkle shone in Makoto's eyes. "I'm glad. Although I'm happy enough just being with you, there's something extra special about our relationship being officially and legally recognised, don't you think?"

Haruka nodded. According to their friends, they'd been like an old married couple since they were kids so in that regard, nothing would change. But even if the nature of their bond didn't change, the way the world viewed them would. Whenever Haruka met someone new, it was difficult to explain what Makoto was to him: with the title of husband, all those problems would vanish and everyone would understand immediately that Makoto was his world.

"If we get married in a few years, we'll be able to save up for a ceremony on the beach, and maybe for a honeymoon in Okinawa," Makoto said and Haruka's heart swelled at the thought, "But for now, we'll enjoy the fiancé-stage of our relationship."

"Yeah," Haruka said. Their lives were a bit too hectic to get married right away, but that didn't mean they couldn't fantasise about it. They would have plenty of time to dream up the perfect wedding. "To celebrate our engagement, I'll cook a special dinner tonight. What would you like to eat?"

"Mackerel."

"Mackerel?" Haruka asked with a frown. "Not green curry?"

Makoto shook his head. "Mackerel is my fiancé's favourite food."

That made Haruka's stomach flutter. Could Makoto be any more kind and selfless? He was truly proving himself as husband-material. "I'll make a chocolate cake for dessert then. That's my fiancé's favourite pastry."

At the mention of chocolate cake, Makoto's smile softened. "Thanks, Haru," he said and pressed a sweet kiss to Haruka's lips. "There isn't anyone in the entire world who I'd rather spend my life with, so thank you for choosing to be with me again and again."

"Me neither," Haruka said, tightening his arms around Makoto's neck. Revealing the contents of his heart remained to be something he struggled with, but Makoto deserved to hear just how much he meant to him. No matter how difficult something was, for Makoto he'd always try his best. "I love you."

"I love you too," Makoto said as he leaned their foreheads together, their noses touching. "So, so much."

Their eyes fell shut as their lips met in another passionate kiss.

If every day with Makoto was this domestic and comfortable, then Haruka was already looking forward to all the years yet to come.

[trentaafcsblog]

Always You - TAA

Chapter 3 - Finally

You and Alex had been together for about a year. Everything was going so well between the two of you. Moving in with him shortly after you’d got together because you were in that honeymoon stage where everything seemed perfect. Going on holiday together and sharing your relationship with the fans. Everyone seeing you as this ‘perfect’ couple whose lives were something people dreamed of, but that didn’t last forever.

It wasn’t long before you were stood on Trent’s doorstep at 6 o’clock in the morning. Knocking on the door with tear stained cheeks, praying he was at home. The door opening as you leaped into his arms, your body shaking as you sobbed into his chest. Not needing to ask what had happened, already knowing as he rubbed your back and tried to get you to calm down. Taking your hand as he took you into the living room, pulling you into his side as the two of you sat there in silence. That weird combination of relief and sadness taking over Trent’s body again, just like it had done when you were younger. His heart was broken for you because he knew how much you loved Alex, but at the same time, despite it sounding bad to admit when you were in such a state, maybe this was going to be the time he took his chance.

“It’s all in the papers” you sobbed, “Everyone knows about what happened”

“And? You’ve done nothing wrong. It doesn’t matter what other people have to say about you, I know exactly what you’re like and you’re honestly the strongest person I’ve ever come across” he’s saying, doing his best to try and comfort you.

You’re looking up to him and giving him the smallest little smile before the the tears hit you again.

“That was the first time I’d felt loved in ages” you’re managing to say, “And now it’s all over”

Trent’s heart dropped to his feet when he heard you say those words. He hated the fact that you thought nobody loved you until you came across Alex. Although he’d never admitted it, he’d loved you since you first met, and all he’d ever tried to do was show you that, but there was always something stopping him from being able to tell you.

The two of you just sat there in silence again. Trent’s head being taken over by all of these thoughts as he realised that he had to do something this time. He couldn’t just let you go again.

“Um - I - um - did you want to do something tomorrow” he’s asking, knowing that you and Alex had plans for Valentine’s Day, and the thought of you spending the day on your own was enough to make him feel sick.

“Yeah, I guess so” you’re replying, purely saying ‘yes’ just so you could keep your mind busy and use it as a distraction from Alex.

And with that, Trent’s getting up and making several ‘business calls’ whilst you stay and watch your favourite film, coming back into the living room shortly after and trying his best to dodge your questions.

“I don’t understand why you can’t tell me what those phone calls were about” you’re starting, “You always tell me what business ideas you’ve got coming up, I’m not going to go telling people”.

“I know, but these are just um - a different - um - kind of business call, don’t worry about it though, it will all be revealed soon” he’s replying before winking at you.

The two of you spending the rest of the day in each other’s company. Trent refusing to go to training, ringing in and saying the both of you were ill, but really you were just avoiding coming into contact with a certain person. Trent making sure he kept you busy all day, chatting about anything and everything, as well as planning a holiday together in the summer - something you’d always told each other you’d do when you were older. Your sadness gradually starting to fade away as the day went on, and it wasn’t long before you were hugging Trent goodbye and getting your things ready to leave.

“I’ll pick you up at half six tomorrow night” he’s saying as you head towards your car. His heart fluttering when he says those words, realising that this is the moment he’s waited his whole life for. Not being able to sleep a wink as the thoughts of tomorrow run through his mind. Checking his phone every five minutes to make sure he’s definitely planned everything. Trying his best to get over his nerves as he doesn’t want to regret anything, just praying that it all works out in the end.

And before he knows it, his time has arrived. Arriving at your doorstep at exactly half past six with a huge bouquet of roses, a little note accompanying them, telling you how grateful he is to have you in his life and that he promises to treat you like the princess you are. Playfully hitting him when you read it and it makes you cry, complaining that he’s ruined your makeup, even though he thinks you’re beautiful, regardless of whether or not you’ve got mascara running down your cheeks. Taking your hand and leading you out to his car before opening the door for you. Driving to your favourite restaurant whilst singing along to the songs on the radio. Walking in to see a table full of balloons and more flowers, looking up to Trent and joking about the fact that someone was a lucky girl - not realising that the lucky girl was you.

The two of you overlooking the whole of Liverpool as you sit and eat dinner together. Trent becoming increasingly nervous as the night goes on, trying his absolute hardest to disguise it because he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable. The both of you finishing your food as Trent clears his throat, causing you to look up at him.

“I just wanted to say thank you for spending tonight with me, I know it can’t have been easy after everything that’s gone on recently” he’s saying before taking hold of your hand. “Um - I - um” he’s stuttering.

“What?” You’re giggling, “Just tell me”.

“I’ve been trying to tell you my whole life. The thing is, I really like you, and I know it’s taken me twenty one years to get to this point, but there’s always been something that’s stopped me. I don’t have an excuse anymore, so I just wanted you to know that you mean the world to me and I’m so lucky to be able to have spent my whole life with you. I love you” he’s blurting out, immediately realising that he’s let those three little words slip. Panic setting in as a blush coats his cheeks.

“It’s ok if you don’t feel the same way. You’re way out of my league anyway so I don’t expect you to have the same feeli-” he’s starting before you leap out of your chair and rush around to the other side of the table. Sitting on his lap as you lean in towards him.

“I love you too, Trent” you’re smiling, pressing a gentle kiss on his lips. 

The two of you sitting there a bit shell-shocked. Just staring at one another as you realise that you were secretly meant to be.

“I think I’ve finally found that perfect man you promised me when we were kids” you’re giggling. Trent looking down at your hands entwined with his before his eyes meet yours again.

“I always stick to my promises, don’t I?” he’s smiling back at you.

The two of you spending the rest of the night cuddled up to one another. Trent taking you on a walk through the city you both grew up in, pointing out the different places where he realised that he loved you. From the park across the road where you played football together when you were five, to his doorstep where you waved goodbye to him as you left for university. This man had loved your entire life, and you’d only just noticed it.

“It’s always been you” he’s whispering before kissing your forehead, smiling up at him as you realise that it really has always been you, and the more you think about it, the more you recognise that it’s always been him too.

[poeticandvaguelysweet]

it comes and goes in waves (and carries us away) –– #3 Slip of the Tongue

@paulsenmagic + @darveyxoxo were talking about a fic where ‘Donna pranks Harvey with a pregnancy announcement and he genuinely gets upset when he finds out it’s not true’ and I honestly couldn’t help myself. So, here I am. 

It’s not 100% how I wanted it but it’s taken me so long to write it I’ve just had enough (which is not a very good writer thing for me to do but ya know). 

SLIP OF THE TONGUE

AO3 - ff.net 

 Since getting married and moving to Seattle, Harvey made a vow about his work hours. In a new home, new stage of their relationship and new city it was vital now, more than ever, that he come home at a reasonable hour. They needed routine and ritual as well as a divide between home life and work life.

Some nights it couldn’t be helped. Trials needed to be prepped for, clients were difficult, and things simply had to be done then and there, in the moment. Donna usually stayed back a little later, simply to have dinner with her husband before heading home to let him have his space to work. Nights like that found her curled up on the couch, a throw blanket over her lap, a glass of wine in hand and Netflix rolling across the TV screen. She waited up for Harvey, either in the living room or in bed, on occasion, when he got back earlier than usual, he found her in the shower.

That night the TV was paused, Donna’s phone pressed to her ear as her friend chattered down the line. She had thought about inviting Rachel over when Harvey said it was going to be another late night but had eventually decided against it. When Rachel called and upheld conversation for well over an hour, Donna regretted her earlier decision to not make it a girl’s night.

‘Promise you won’t tell him,’ Rachel bargained, whispering secrets down the line. They were whispering like little girls on a sleepover despite the fact that Donna was sitting in an empty house, her only company the fictional characters currently paused on her screen.

Donna sighed, a smile pulling at her cheeks. She would never dream of spilling a secret Rachel asked her to keep. Unless it was for her own good. ‘Don’t worry, Rachel. I’m not––’ She heard the front door click shut, body jumping at the unexpected sound. ‘––Harvey’s home, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.’ Her heart picked up a flutter in her chest, finger pressing end call on her phone screen as she listened to the sound of Harvey’s footsteps in the hall.

He looked tired when he appeared from around the corner, exhausted by the long day he miraculously managed to slog through. ‘Hey,’ Harvey grinned, eyes lighting up once he saw her. He moved for the couch, hands bracing himself against the top of the structure before he leaned in to drop a kiss to her lips in greeting.

‘Hey,’ Donna echoed back, voice soft. It baffled her to find how easily he could render her to nothing stronger than jelly. Even after a year, he still took her breath away with a simple kiss. ‘How’d you go tonight?’ She asked, hand wrapped around his wrist, limb following his movement as Harvey stepped around the couch to sit beside her. His hand landed on her knee, squeezing as Donna shifted closer to his body, legs almost in his lap.

Harvey sighed, ‘good enough’. It was Donna’s turn to lean in and kiss him, her lips a little more persistent than his had been as her body pressed itself closer. He was home, a whole hour earlier than she expected. There would be no questioning that. ‘Who were you talking to?’ He asked, faces still close as she pulled away from their kiss.

‘Rachel.’ The name didn’t concern him anymore, not now that the two women had more personal contact since the move. Before that, he had poked her about the secrets she was sharing with her best friend as soon as they had happened. Harvey had caught Donna a time too many detailing her sex life to her quasi sister, sure these details used to be shared in person before she moved to Seattle. ‘Just talking about stuff.’ She shrugged, offering an answer before he could ask a question.

‘Oh yeah,’ Harvey hummed. ‘What kind of stuff?’ His hand was heavy on her knee, thick fingers squeezing as he stole her wine glass right out of her hand and took a sip.

Donna shrugged, ‘just stuff’.

He frowned, lip twisting and brow curling as he looked at her. Donna wasn’t usually so hesitant to be forthcoming. ‘Okay …’ He drew out the word, watching her with intrigue as he finished off what was left in her glass. ‘It doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that it’s Mike’s birthday in a few weeks, does it?’

Donna shook her head, red hair bouncing around her face. ‘Nope.’

‘Rachel must be planning something big.’ He chuckled, sitting forward to place the wine glass on the coffee table, out of his hands and out of the way. From the corner of his eye he could see Donna squirm, for an actress she had a lot of tells when she was lying.

‘I’ll have you know,’ Donna started as Harvey sat back, his fingers sliding around her calf and pulling her legs into his lap. ‘We weren’t even talking about Mike. We were talking about me.’ Harvey raised a brow that only made Donna sit up straighter, hips wiggling as she did so, determination climbing up her spine and setting itself across her face. She bit her bottom lip, rolling the tissue into her mouth to hide the tell-tale sign that he had her. Donna was stubborn and she wouldn’t let him read her that easily. ‘Because I’m pregnant.’ The words were out, tumbling from her lips in a desperate attempt to be one step ahead of his cocky, all-knowing grin.

The air around them seemed to stop. Nothing moved, Harvey’s breath caught in his chest as Donna stared at him, shell-shocked that she even said those words. Slow, like the Cheshire Cat he could be, Harvey’s grin grew. It tugged at the corners of his lips, sliding up his face and spread deep into his cheeks. There was a light in his eyes that made Donna’s heart stop.

‘Oh my god,’ she breathed, forcing the words out around a tight throat. ‘I don’t know why I just said that.’ Her hand covered her mouth. ‘I’m not pregnant, Harvey.’ It was there that she caught it, staring at him from beneath her disbelief, the split moment––barely noticeable––where his face fell into the depth of upset and her stomach plummeted in response. ‘We were talking about Mike’s birthday. It’s just that Rachel asked me not to tell.’

His hands were still on her leg, the pressure light as if he wanted to pull away but had nowhere else to place them. ‘You could have just said that.’

Shit. ‘I’m sorry. I just––I panicked.’ Her hands reached for his arm, fingers squeezing. ‘I didn’t even think … it just came out.’ She was looking for a way to get him off her back, their playful banter reaching a corner where she knew she would spill the beans Rachel asked her not to spill. But Donna hadn’t even thought of that before the words slipped past her tongue and sucker punched her husband. ‘Wait.’ She stopped, fingers loosening their grip on his forearm, eyes flicking back to his hurt ones. ‘You were happy?’ His face lit up like New York City on the last second of the year when she had said those words.

‘Of course, I was happy!’ He sounded defensive, hurt that he had been caught in a moment of weakness. ‘Why wouldn’t I be, Donna?’

She felt her heart sink a little further, her eyes watching his shimmer with nothing but honesty. Donna shrugged, teeth gnawing at the inside of her cheek. ‘We’ve never really talked about it, I guess. I just didn’t know.’ She knew enough to understand that her husband wouldn’t force a decision on her if the time came. She knew that he wouldn’t hate the idea of a child, especially now they’re married. Donna just wasn’t sure about the level of his excitement. He had a rough childhood, a somewhat absent father, a mother who made him hold adult secrets, maybe he just didn’t want to have kids. They had been too busy settling into hurriedly married life, moving to Seattle, getting married a second time, honeymoon and finding their place in a new city with new jobs. Babies had been the very last on a long list of things they had to shuffle through.

‘I know time is kind of running out and all that, but I love you and raising a family with you would make me the happiest man in the world.’

‘Really?’ She felt breathless, tears burning in her eyes. Harvey Specter wasn’t known for his emotional confessions and there he was, sitting right there with her legs in his lap, telling her he would be happy to have babies with her. ‘Do you want to try?’ She asked hesitantly despite everything he just said.

Harvey looked at her, head tilted to the side as if he was taking a moment to think. His face split into a wide grin. ‘Yeah. Do you?’ Donna wasn’t sure if they would have walked this path in New York, but then again, she hadn’t been a married woman while they lived there. It was just cosy Seattle had left her with a lot of downtime that suddenly felt empty.

Donna bit her lip, a habit-forming inside this conversation. ‘We’ll be in our sixties when she’s graduating from high school, nearing seventy when she finishes college.’ Her eyes dropped away from his.

‘We won’t be the only ones.’ He gave her thigh a squeeze.

‘I don’t know if I want my kids to worry about my health.’ She took a deep breath, her chest stuttering as she did so, tears building up once again. Harvey opened his mouth and Donna knew exactly what he was going to say. It could happen no matter her age. She could have had kids a decade ago and ended up sick, had an accident, been hurt. His mom wasn’t all that old and yet a heart attack took her. One day she will have to look at putting her parents into an assisted living facility, or a retirement village where they would continue to wither and age. It just happens.

‘Do you know the success rate of getting pregnant after forty-five is only around three per cent?’ Donna felt her throat contract around her words and a second later Harvey was giving her a supportive squeeze. ‘Fertility treatment can take years. I just––I’m scared of wasting our time in going down that road, Harvey. What if I can’t get pregnant? What if I can but my body can’t support it. I don’t want to get our hopes up for us to only have nothing at the end of it.’ A tear fell, sliding down her cheek before stopping at the corner of her mouth. ‘I would have liked to have a baby. Why did we waste so much time, Harvey?’

When a whimper wobbled past her lips, Harvey moved. He pulled his wife into his lap, arms wrapping around her as he kissed the side of her head. It felt like he could only say sorry so many times before the whole thing became redundant. They weren’t ready, they hadn’t been ready and he hated himself for not fixing it sooner, especially now as she cried in his lap.

‘Hey,’ he brushed her hair back from her face. ‘It’s not too late. What if we spend the rest of the year trying, but not actively trying? We’ll throw the contraceptives out, eat better, limit the alcohol, take our vitamins and if it doesn’t happen by January, we call it off and wait for Mike and Rachel to have kids.’ He knew they would have a better chance with fertility specialists, but that was another layer of hope Donna clearly didn’t want to have stacked on top of her deck.

‘I’ll be devastated if something goes wrong.’ She whispered the sound part whimper and Harvey felt his chest crack open for her.

He kissed her cheek, hands still moving through her hair. ‘I know.’ If he could turn back the clock, knowing what he knew now, he would have come to his senses sooner. ‘We don’t have to. I just, if it’s what you want, I don’t want to miss our shot.’ He also didn’t want his wife hurt.

Donna nodded; lips pressed to the curve where his shoulder meets his neck. ‘Fuck it.’ She said, kiss trailing up his throat, nipping at his skin as her touch climbed.

Harvey steadied himself with his hands on her hips. ‘Are you sure?’ Donna nodded before capturing his lips in a searing kiss, her touch tasting of the tears she had shed. ‘Because we really don’t have to.’ He managed to breathe when she broke the kiss.

‘Harvey,’ Donna paused her hands on his shoulders, body centred in his lap. ‘Shut up and get me pregnant.’

[fandomfanficandmore]

Broken Lenses Part 3 (Ashton Irwin)

fandom: 5 Seconds of Summer

pairing[s]: Ashton Irwin x oc

warnings: Nope

word count: 1.8k+

Part 1 Part 2

Iris sat on one of the equipment boxes and watched the guys as they messed around during their final rehearsal, snapping pictures of the goofy things they were doing.

Laurel climbed up onto the box, watching the men before deciding to talk. “So Ashton, eh?”

“Uh, yeah.” Iris nodded her slowly.

“So how did you two kids meet?”

“Oh my god Will, no!” Iris laughed, shoving her best friend.

“What? I want to know how my best friend met her newest crush.”

“It’s not a crush,” Iris mumbled, her cheeks heating up. Her phone buzzed in her hand, a text message from an unknown number popping up.

Hi

Iris grinned, about to reply when her friend snatched her phone from her hand.  “Hey!”

“Not a crush, huh?” Willow giggled, holding the phone out of Iris’s reach for a moment before handing it back. “So tell me. How did you meet?”

“He bumped into me when I was out taking pictures in LA and broke my camera.” Iris smiled at the fond memory which seemed like it was so long ago but, in reality, it was only a few hours ago.

“Awe!” Willow cooed, making Iris roll her eyes. “You had a meet-cute!”

“A what?” Iris asked, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

“Meet-cute. You met in a cute way. What’s hard to understand about that?”

“I don’t know.”

“So when are you going to see him again?”

“Dude, I just started talking to him yesterday.” Iris let out a laugh, rolling her eyes.

“You should totally invite him to the LA show in a few weeks!” Willow squealed, making Iris laugh. “We have like two days there so you can totally hang out and if things go well, you won’t miss the bus leaving the next morning!”

Iris gasped, shoving her purple-haired friend who was laughing. “Ew, Will, no!”

“What? He’s hot! I’d do him if I wasn’t-”

“Who would you do if you weren’t with me?” Jack laughed, walking up and placing a kiss on the top of Willow’s head.

“Ashton.” She shrugged, making him laugh.

“He is really hot. I’m more of a Mikey girl myself, though,” He smiled, making the girls laugh. Jack and Willow had been together for just over a year yet they were somehow still in the honeymoon phase. They were adorable, but sometimes it did get sickening.  Iris watched as the couple interacted, intertwining themselves almost subconsciously.

“You guys are really good together, you know that?” Iris changed the subject, watching as the pair shared a soft smile before Willow spoke.

“Thanks, I.” The couple broke off into their own conversation as Iris glanced at her phone, biting her lip as she tried to decide what to send.

Hey!

No. The exclamation point seemed too desperate.

Hi

That made it seem like she wasn’t interested.

Hey

She pressed send before she could second guess herself, watching as almost instantly the little typing bubble appeared.

What are you up to?

Listening to Willow and Jack be sickeningly adorable.

Sounds boring

It is.

Iris let out a giggle, unaware that the couple was watching her. She looked up from her phone after she sent the message, finding two pairs of eyes on her. “What?”

“Nothing.” They answered together. Iris shook her head as her phone went off.

What are you up to for the rest of the day?

Prepping for the show. I think we have soundcheck, dinner, and then a meeting. You?

Looks like I’m spending most of the day in the studio.

Fun?

It would be if Luke would just get his part right. He’s messed up 5 times already.

Geez. What’s he trying to do?

Play a simple riff for the bridge of the song we’re working on.

Wait, he might have it

No wait, never mind. He fucked up

Again.

Iris laughed again, a smile settling onto her lips as she typed again.

 😂 I’m sorry

It’s going to be a long night.

-

The next morning, Iris walked through the venue, trying to get a lay of the land, humming to the Harry Styles album she was listening to. The venue was basically empty, as it was barely 8 in the morning and the show wasn’t until 7 that evening.

This was always her favorite part of tour, the early hours spent exploring the venue, seeing the place that would later be filled stand completely empty.

She took a seat in the middle of the stage, looking out on the arena with a grin. She could remember attending her first concert, the event that started it all. She was 8, with a horrible flip phone and a love for an old rock band called The Goo Goo Dolls. Her mother, who loved the band so much she named her daughter after their song, took Iris as an early birthday present. They had third row tickets, and the young girl took advantage of that. The entire show she stood on her chair, snapping pictures with her crappy phone, hoping she caught a good picture. She didn’t, but it became a passion of the girl’s- taking pictures at shows.

When she turned 10, she got her first DSLR. Her mother had bought it second hand on ebay, but Iris loved it anyway. The first show she really shot was for a small band called Allstar Weekend in her hometown when she was 11. They were playing an acoustic show at a tiny pizza joint a few blocks from her house. Her mother was friends with the owner, who gave Iris permission to shoot the show. She loved every minute of it. She was able to wander the room, snapping pictures of the band and the audience, all 30 people who had shown up, and to capture a memory that would last forever. At the end of the show, the lead singer, Zack, got her contact information and soon had her shooting their other shows in the area.

Her first tour gig was with an artist who, at the time, had one album out and had gotten his start on this app called vine. They were both 17 and new to the whole touring thing. They had met previously at an intimate show in Los Angeles and hit it off. His name was Shawn. The tour lasted three months, and during that time they fell for one another. What would you expect? A young, naive girl on tour with and up and coming pop star? They ended soon after the tour did, staying on good terms to date.

She tried to stay away from dating band members, but she never seemed to succeed. Since she had started doing this professionally, she had been with her fair share of A-listers. From being hot and heavy with Justin Bieber to a whirlwind romance with Harry Styles, she left a trail of exes, most of whom she had stayed friends with.

She met All Time Low through her friend Hunter. No, he wasn’t another ex- though she wished he was. He introduced them at a concert when she was 18, fresh out of high school, and she instantly connected with the four men and the eccentric little sister of the lead singer. She went on her first tour with them a month later, two more coming after that. This was her fourth tour with them and by now they knew each other quite well. They became like a family to her, the older brothers and younger sister that she had never had. 

Someone tapped Iris on the shoulder, breaking her out of her trance and causing her to jump. She pulled out her headphones, looking up to find Rian with two cups of coffee. He passed one to her, taking a seat next to her on the stage. “Whatcha doing?” He asked, taking a sip of his drink. Iris took a slow sip of her own before deciding to talk. 

“Thinking.” She smiled softly. “You know, this is our fourth tour together.”

“Is it?” Rian asked, “I can’t believe it’s been that many.” They were silent for a moment as they drank their coffee. “What are you listening to?” Rian nodded towards the headphones on her lap, the music playing faintly. 

“Harry’s album.” She offered him a bud with a smile. 

This was something she and Rian did often. Both were early risers on tour and loved to talk music. Often, on days off, they’d spend their day in the back of the bus listen to music and working. If there was someone in the band she was closest to, it was Rian. She wasn’t sure why, but with him she felt safe. From the Dining Table started, Iris leaning her head on Rian’s shoulder as the song played softly. “I think this is my favorite song on the album.” Iris said quietly before taking a sip of the drink. 

“Only because it’s about you.” Rian laughed softly. This was a debate they had since the album had come out. 

“No way. I still think it’s about Taylor or Kendall.” 

“You’re the one that left in the middle of his tour while you were seeing each other.” 

“I had to. My mother got sick.” Iris’s heart dropped. This was something that was hard for her to talk about. When she was 19, in the middle of what was supposed to be a year-long world tour with Harry, Iris’ mother had been diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. She gave Harry and his team a couple of days notice before packing and leaving. It was hard on her. She grew distant from friends, from Harry. When her mom passed, two months after she had returned home, her world shattered. She still hadn’t been in contact with Harry, so whatever they were was up in the air. 

“I’m sorry I, I didn’t mean-” Rian watched as she began to tear up. He was the only one who knew the whole story. 

“It’s okay.” She smiled faintly at him, wiping away a stray tear that had fallen. The song ended and Iris flipped over her phone, unlocking it handing it to Rian. 

“Your turn.” He scrolled through her phone for a moment before a smirk faded onto his face. He typed a few things before a new song started, one she hadn’t heard before. 

Some things are meant to be secret and not to be heard, so if I tell you, just keep it and don't say a word

Iris listened as the upbeat song played, bobbing her head to the beat. 

I love your hair and your face, I wouldn't dare let you down

“Who is that?” Iris asked as the song finished, Rian laughing slightly. 

“Ashton’s band, 5 Seconds of Summer.”

“It’s good,” Iris smiled, “What else do they have?” 

-

tag list: @damselindistressanu

[corrupted-sorrow]

I'm sorry to bother you but Oumeno-12? It's okay if you don't want to do it, I just love your stuff

It isn´t a bother at all! I love writing these :D Thank you, I´m happy to know!

12 - Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?

(This one will be looooong!)

Yes! And as expected, it was a blast. No, really. You know DICE. They made sure to make the wedding place very trendy and dreamy at the same time to fit the tastes of their boss and their “princess”, too.

But coming back in time a little… About their proposal… Everything started when their class was about to graduate from Hope´s Peak. All of them were also invited to take part on Future Foundation, if they wanted to. Naegi personally went there and revealed he had an interest in some of the 16 soon-to-be graduates. This included Kokichi (Now 18)

“Your leadership skills have grown very much in just three years. Not to mention… Despite being emotionally affected, you were a splendid strategist and a keen observator in V3 Simulator. You would be a great help there, Ouma-kun.”

Kokichi was flattered, even though he didn´t wanted to remember that horrible experience. He really could be a major leader in an important place! However… His smile was gone when he realized… He would have to abandon DICE… And Himiko wasn´t called. Only Shuuichi, Miu, Kiibo and Maki would go with him. What to do…? …………….

“Sorry, Naegi-chan. I´ll have to reject the offer. But thanks for making me look so cool, nishi~”

“E-eh? W-wait! Just like this? Ouma-kun, the Foundation changed very much in the last five years… Me, my former classmates and senpai made a very comfortable environment for all agents, cientists, ultimates… I think you would like it.”

“Hey, that sounds nice for you guys. If it were like a military camp, it would be terrible~ But that´s the truth, I need to stay here. Sorry about it.”

So Kokichi left Naegi behind, pretty sure that he did the right thing. It would be fine. He would graduate and keep making money with some scams, heists and stuff. Having fun until he becomes a true gentleman thief someday! He laughed a bit alone. Not to mention… He wanted to be beside her… The person who matured together with him, both physically and emotionally.

“Yep… I gotta get those rings… I really want her to be my empress… Yeeeah… That´s a truth I definitely like to think about!” - The psychiatric treatment also helped a lot. Of course he never said to the man that he was some sort of chaotic good rogue with merry subordinates. But that´s okay… I guess.

However… As his crew heard the news, they weren´t that happy. Kokichi was confused and asked why the long faces.

“Leader, you know… You should think about your future better. If you want to marry Yume-chan, that is. After all… Of course we have fun, but I think we shouldn´t make extreme moves as of now…” - Said the tallest man with blonde hair.

“Wha… Why? You… You guys want to disband?” - Kokichi trembled.

“Oh, nononono!!! Not at all! Most of us are adults, now! We can drink together, drive the car to everywhere, go to strip clubs and…”

“OKAY, SO WHAT GIVES?” - Kokichi definitely didn´t wanted jokes.

“You… You can be to jail for real if the cops catch you, boss! Don´t you see? Then you might not see Yume-chan again! Your record will be ruined!” - Screamed the twintail girl.

“And you grew a lot… More mature, stronger, taller, smarter… When I remember how scrawny you were… Boss… Of course DICE can continue. We just think you also need to improve your skills, work seriously. You are different from us. That´s why we follow and respect you… And we want your happiness…” - Said the tallest woman.

Kokichi didn´t knew what to answer… He definitely didn´t wanted to date by e-mail and voice chat. He wouldn´t be able to propose. He just went to his room, silently.

And you ask… “Hey, what about Himiko?”. Well… She was also sad, in her room. But she was thinking a completely different thing.

“Nnnaaa… Ouma… He will be far, now… I can work wherever I want to, so I have plenty of time to decide or…. I wouldn´t mind becoming a housewife. I can do both stuff…………………….. But how we will marry if he will be so far away…………….” - So there she was, her face on the desk, daydreaming. She thought he accepted it. But was trying to feel better, thinking about his future.

Next day, they met at the class. Himiko looked down.

“Ouma, you see… This thing of being invited by Future Foundation is pretty nice… They must have even a spa there… Nyehehe…….. A-ahem! So, this is a great opportunity, huh? I am really glad for you. Though… Well, we can trade messages, right?”- She gave a shy smile, playing with her fingers.

“Yumeno-chan, I won´t go.” - Blunt.

“N-nyeh? B-but you can put your leadership in action, get plenty of money, meet some legendary ultimates… I don´t understand……. Ah, of course… It´s a lie, I still get caught, nyehe…”

“Nope, that´s the truth. I need to stay here. I will find another place to lead and get clean money if that´s the case. I´m serious. You know I don´t lie as much as before.”

“Y-yes… B-but then… Um… Why you want to stay?” - Himiko was nervous.

“……….” - He didn´t wanted to spit out his plan of proposal. - “ Cause of DICE, of course!” - And gave that usual smile.

“Nna… I sorta thought that would be the case….. There´s nothing else?”

“Who knows~”

Himiko knew he was plotting something. But what? For one week, she was alert all the time. Which kind of prank it would be? Tenko and Angie were even worried… But finally, the Graduation Day has come. Everyone sat on their places on the gynasium, waiting for the classic speech from the principal. There was something weird… Kokichi, Shuuichi and Rantaro… Where were they?

“Hey, hey… What the hell? Shuuichi is never late! How can he be in such an important day? Harumaki, did you saw th—” Kaito was complaining, until all the lights were out suddenly. “HIAAAAAA!!!!”

Chatter, chatter… A spotlight on the stage… Revealing,,, A flying… Gentleman Phantom Thief?

“THE HELL IS THIS? DID OUMA FINALLY FRIED HIS BALLS?”- From Miu, sure.

“WOOOOW!!! OUMA-KUN IS FLYING!!!” - Gonta, of course.

“T-that´s Ouma-kun, indeed… But why he is wearing the Halloween costume I made last year?” - Tsumugi was very confused.

Some cheered for him, some called him a show-off, some just laughed… Himiko was just watching his boyfriend acting like a circus performer above her. As soon Kokichi made a signal to the stage, the flying movement got slower…. And like in Mission Impossible, he was “floating” in front of Himiko.

“I came to steal your heart, my most beloved lady~ Accept this calling card, yes?” - With a charming smile, he gave her the card with a red rose. Started to rose again, going to the stage.

“N-N-N-NNNaaaa???” - Himiko blushed like a tomato. Heard girls gossiping, swooning… And read [Come right now to the stage. I haven´t finished my work heeere~ Your gorgeous Phantom Thief] “W-what he… Wha… Uh…”

“I wonder… Will my target appear? My, my… Won´t I be able to steal what I want, today? Sob~” - Kokichi acts, talking on the microphone. At this rate, all the boys and girls were getting kinda excited to see what would happen! Himiko took a deeeep breath and made her way in heavy steps to the stage, with her usual angry “OOOOUUUMAAAA!!!”

“Nishishishi~ My target! it´s finally here! Now… I know what to do to steal this cute crystal heart!” - Now he was playing around a bit.

“N-NNNAAAA!!! W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THIS IS AN IMPORTANT DAY, YOU KNOW? N-NOT TO MENTION EVERYONE IS LOOKING! Y-YOU KNOW I PREFER…” - While she was scolding him, a soft, pink light illuminated the stage. Rose petals scattered from above… Himiko just looked… There was Shuuichi with a bag of said petals. “I can´t believe it…” Himiko felt Kokichi´s hand gently holding hers, looking at him. He took off the hat. His other hand was on his pocket.

“Hey… You know why I decided to refuse that? ……. Yeah…. For DICE, sure… But actually, there´s a main reason…”

“Which… Is…?” - Her heart was like a Heavy Metal band battery.

“You see, Yumeno-chan… I don´t plan to be a Supreme Leader forever… Actually… Maybe something more fitting… Like an emperor! It would be a blast!……………………………. However…… It would be boring if I were alone….. Soooo…. Maybe if I had a empress…..” - And so…. He took out the ring box out of his pocket.

Himiko thought she was going to burst. He was serious. He just made everything more playful, as he usually likes. She smiled widely and laughed a bit, but out of pure joy. Who didn´t knew her well would think she would refuse.

“SO!” - Kokichi put himself in the classic proposal position, on knee. Holding the microphone on one hand and the ring box on another. - “My most beloved Yumeno Himiko-chan… Will you be my empress? Will you let me take your heart? …………………. “ - He made a more serious, but tender tone.”…… Will you marry me?”

The crowd went crazy, hoping to hear a “yes” from Himiko. Many knew it would happen someday. The classmates were really excited to know.

“…….. Only if you let me take YOUR heart with my magic, too. And yes……… I will~~” - She kept smiling more and more, feeling in heaven.

“Fair enough!” - Then instead of putting the rings, he held her for a surprise kiss, which was a bit hidden by his white cape. The crowd applauded, screamed, cried… Soon, the principal showed up, infuriated with Kokichi´s mess. But whoa, it was worth it!

After the ceremony, Kokichi and Himiko put their engagement rings properly.

“You did such a number on there… But… It was fun, actually~”

“Nishishi… As if I would make a boring proposal!”

“Then I wonder about the marriage… Nnnaaa… Will you put some goblin inside the cake?”

“Maaaaybe?”

Nah, he didn´t do anything like that. What happened was… Just after their vows and kiss were done… He threw a smoke bomb, instant changing to his Supreme Leader from DICE clothes, Then, carried Himiko in bridal style, shouting:

“HEY, EVERYONE! THANKS FOR COMING! I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY THE PARTY MY CREW WILL THROW! NOW….. I NEED TO CARRY THIS FUTURE EMPRESS……. TO OUR HONEYMOON!!!” - That said, he just jumped outta the window with Himiko. Everyone, except the few who knew about Kokichi´s plan and helped to organize everything for the travel, were with their mouths down to the floor.

Yeees~ The honeymoon! We are talking about two sweet tooth, which like fantasy and rpg, right? So they went to Europe, to make a tour! Mostly Switzerland and Germany. They enjoyed the well-known chocolate and other candy made with it. Also visited old towns, from centuries ago, but that were like new.

Now, then… Since there´s honeymoon… There´s that, right? Fufufu… Yeah… They had lots of fun and sweet moments of romance… But more importantly… Let´s say they went back to Japan with one very special souvenir, if you get what I mean~

But that´s a story for another time~

[taeminsphltrum]

I Just Called To Say

Wonho | Fluff | WC: 1.7k

But what it is, is something true Made up of these three words that I must say to you

“I love you.”

You blink slowly, trying to process the words you just heard. Moving the phone away from your ear, you squint your eyes to look at the screen, reading the name and time at the top of it.

“Hoseok,” you yawn, rubbing an eye and rolling onto your back. “Do you know what time it is?”

Your eyes widen a bit and blink a little faster to adjust to the pitch black surrounding you, and you wait for him to check and see that it’s four in the morning.

“Yes, I know I probably shouldn’t have called you because you have to wake up in a few hours for work but I—”

“Baby, slow down.” He’s talking way too fast, his words blending into each other and your brain is still in its waking up stages so you need him to talk a little slower.

He takes a deep breath before continuing.

“I can’t sleep, and when I can’t sleep I think about a lot of shit,” when he pauses, you hum. “And we’ve been together for a while now. Next week it’ll be six months, right?”

You hum again, switching back to your original position on your side, snuggling further into you comforter. “On Wednesday.” The smallest of smiles stretch your lips because you know he’s downplaying how he feels about this halfway mark in your relationship.

“I know you said you don’t want to do anything for month-anniversaries—”

You snort. “Because they’re pointless.”

Hoseok sighs. He’s always been such a hopeless romantic and you can be one too, but you grew out of celebrating each month of being with someone and prefer to go all out for milestone dates. But you know how excited he is for each month that you’ve officially been together and you feel kind of bad you let that slip out. You blame it on your brain still not completely functioning and not being able to filter your thoughts as fast.

“I’m regretting waking you up,” he deadpans and you snort again.

“So I can go back to sleep?” And when he sighs again, you roll your eyes. Your attempt to lighten the mood clearly isn’t working. “Baby, I’m kidding. Tell me what’s on your mind, I won’t joke around anymore.”

Hoseok hesitates for too long and you call his name, trying to prompt him to let everything on his mind and chest out on the table.

“I don’t know… I was just thinking about how happy you make me. Even when we were just friends and I didn’t even know I wanted to be with you… you’ve always made me happy and I knew I always wanted you to be in my future.”

You don’t think you’ll ever get used to how open he is with his feelings. Not that you’re incapable of expressing yourself, it just takes a little push for you to let it all out like he can.

“We don’t always see eye-to-eye but you balance me out so well and you’ve ruined my expectations for everyone else. I don’t even want to think about the possibility of having to find someone else.”

He’s barely getting started and you have a feeling your cheeks will be wet because you’re a softy for romantic confessions—especially when it comes from the man on the phone—and aching from smiling so hard because he always seems to know the right things to say, even when he’s unsure of his words.

“Ah, I’m getting off topic.” You almost tell him it’s okay and to stay on the mistaken topic, but you just bite your lip and let him get back on track. “Since you promised we could do something on Wednesday, I already have everything put together… but I’m second guessing it all.”

You aren’t hard to please. A simple dinner and movie are enough to make you the happiest girl in the world. Some cuddling and kisses added is the perfect date. Not saying going all out wouldn’t have the same effect, but you’re sure that anything he puts together will be just fine. Knowing he took the time and energy to do something for you is enough to have you okay with anything. He knows what you don’t like, so you’re not worried in the slightest. But Hoseok is such a caring and loving person who always wants to make sure others are pleased and he second guesses himself up until he realizes they’re more than content and he was worried for nothing.

But, you’re not going to tell him he’s over analyzing it. After years of knowing how he works, you know he hates it the most when people tell him something isn’t that deep and to stop thinking so hard.

“I just don’t want it to be a total flop because I’m really excited about it,” he sighs.

“If you’re so excited about it, I love it already,” you speak softly.

“Like I was saying before, you always make me so happy and I want to have the same effect on you, you know? I know you say I do but I can’t help but doubt—”

“Hoseok. I will hang up on you if you continue that sentence.”

Hoseok isn’t clingy. He doesn’t crave your attention every second of the day. He doesn’t have an exaggerated need for validation, but every once in a while it’s good for him to hear how much he means to you, how much you love him.

“As cheesy as it sounds, from the day we became friends you’ve made me the happiest I’ve been since I was a kid. When I realized I had feelings for you I didn’t get scared like I always had in the past. Do you think I’ve ever confessed to a guy first?” you chuckle, remembering how abrupt and unprepared your confession was. The look on his face was priceless and you wish you would’ve caught his reaction on camera. “Just hearing your name makes me smile and makes my stomach feel weird, and you have the audacity to doubt if you make me happy?”

You’re wide awake by now, his uncertainty alerting your brain. It’s not even like you did something to make him feel this way, but you feel like you have to let him know he has no reason to feel that way without telling him he’s over analyzing things because his nerves are getting to him.

It’s quiet for too long after you open your heart up to him a little. “Did you fall asleep on me?”

The sniffle you get in response has a wide smile slowly making its way on your face.

“Are you crying?” You try to sound worried but the amusement can’t be shielded. Maybe you aren’t the one meant to cry tonight.

“Shut up.”

You openly laugh, apologizing when he starts mumbling under his breath that he can’t stand you and an empty threat of hanging up on you.

“Seriously, though. I know I don’t say it as often as you do but I love you so so so much and I’m so happy I snatched you before Jihyun did.”

He chuckles, followed by a long inhale.

“Thank you.”

His voice is the softest you’ve ever heard and it makes your tummy do a little flip.

“For what?”

“For putting up with me. I know I’m a mess sometimes and I really try to control my emotions but sometimes…” he struggles to finish his sentence, so you jump in.

“Hush. You’re perfectly fine and I wouldn’t trade you for the world.”

You know he’s smiling on the other side of the phone and keeps your smile in place. You don’t mind getting woken up at the asscrack of dawn when it comes to Hoseok, and you love your sleep. So if that isn’t enough proof of how whipped you are for the kid, you don’t know what else could be.

“If these are your thoughts on a restless night, I can only imagine what your vows will be.”

Shrugging the cover off, you swing your legs off the bed and slip your slippers on. You make your way out of your room and into the kitchen, turning on the hallway light as you pass it for some guidance because you just moved and you don’t have the place memorized yet.

“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” Hoseok chuckles, voice a little deeper than before and his words and tone have you biting back another smile as you grab a water bottle and take a few sips. All this talking after being asleep for hours has your throat as dry as a desert.

Months in and it still feels like you’re in your honeymoon phase because you’re always smiling when you speak to him, or even when he simply gets brought up by a friend or a parent.

“Mm, can’t wait.”

Leaning against the counter, you look up at the clock on the stove and the time reads a quarter past five. You can’t see yourself falling back asleep anytime soon and all you can think of is cuddling with your boyfriend while the sun rises in an hour or so, watching a movie or continuing your heart to heart.

“Do you have work tomorrow? Or today, whatever.”

“I don’t go in until two-thirty, why?”

“You should pack a bag and come over,” you propose, twisting and untwisting the bottle’s cap with your forefinger and thumb.

“Don’t you have work at—”

“No one said I work tomorrow,” you laugh.

There’s rustling on the other side and a grunt, followed by a clicking noise you’re assuming was his light switch illuminating his room.

“Say no more, I’ll be there in twenty.”

This is so fluffy and sweet my tooth hurts omg idk how I’m managing to write all this fluff bc I suck at expressing my feelings asjukldlk; enjoy 

[gilbirda]

Human courting is confusing. Chapter 19

Yes, Neuro is wearing a tuxedo in this. I’m too tired to edit the whole thing.

[FF.net][Ao3]

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Day 19: In formal wear

Of everything she expected him to say, this wasn't it. Really. She blinked a few times, thinking that she was delirious, but he was still there looking intensively at her straight in the eyes, waiting for her answer. No kneeling, no ring, no cheesy speech about spending eternity with her.

She wasn't waiting for it anyways, so the young woman took a deep breath and asked:

"Why?"

He lifted an eyebrow. "You don't want to marry me?" Neuro tried to attack her with his innocent puppy eyes, a gloved finger on his lips, trying to make her feel awful by denying his request. Fortunately for her, she was immune by now.

"I guess so?" She shrugged. "We are already tied together and I never really cared about marriage and stuff, so I don't see why we should."

"I thought that all human women dreamed about their 'special day'," the demon lifted a hand to caress the cheek of the woman as they looked at each other. His sideways smirk told her that he was being sarcastically sweet in that touch, but still her heart skipped a beat at their proximity. Her eyes went down to his lips on their own accord.

"Why do you, who never showed interest in human's dreams and desires, ask me that now?" her voice didn't waver, but she licked her lips unconsciously. His smirk grew wider when he noticed that.

"It seems that some unexpected changes happened on me while you were busy breaking things this morning. Foreign thoughts and feelings have grown inside of me and decided to stay," she frowned not really knowing what he meant by that.

"Are you sick, Neuro?" maybe some backslash from the loss of demon energy?

"I think I love you. And that I have loved you all this time, louse."

That startled her, making her snap out of the spell she was in. Yako backed out the distance she had before leaned in without realising, goosebumps traveling her body at the demon's weird declaration of love. Two things could be happening right now: he was tricking her again or he was really sick. She hoped it was the second.

The human put one hand on his forehead. "You are sick. C'mon, go to sleep a little bit and we'll search for some mysteries later." She took the hand that wasn't on her face and pulled him to the sofa, but the other didn't move.

"I am not sick, stupid," he pulled on the opposite direction with much more force, successfully making her fall into his open arms, literally. "I am just as human as you are demon, which is pathetically little, but enough to let my mind manage the new feelings I get around you. I love you. Deal with it."

She shivered and looked up at him, bewildered. "Then you asked to marry me because..."

"I want us to be tied in every way possible, human and demon, and never let you go again," he shifted his grip on her, putting one arm around her waist and one hand combing back some locks of golden hair that had fallen on her face, revealing her red cheeks. "Knowing this, will you marry me?"

Her throat suddenly felt very dry and couldn't speak. He was just too close to focus, his warmth seeping through their clothes and his lips too reachable. She could barely look at him in the eyes.

With her heart going at max speed, she nodded.

"Good," Neuro whispered and smiled before leaning down to kiss her.

***

Take deep breaths, Yako, she reminded herself as she looked at herself on the mirror of the bathroom she was in.

She couldn't recognize the woman on the reflection, one side of her hair pulled back with some flowers on it (Akane firmly attached to her, anxious to be present on the event), her face painted by her friend Kanae, who was trembling while doing the make up but managed to do an impressive work with her usually bare skin. Her body trapped in a tight pastel green short dress, chosen by the explosive mix of Kanae and her mother, that had weaved very complicated flower designs in bright emerald green that easily caught the eye. Her only say on the dress was the colour.

Yako winced when her 'deep breath' put more pressure on her poor lungs, and tried to distract herself from the pre-wedding nerves. She went back to their plan step by step, something she had already memorized, but that was perfect to occupy her mind until the car arrived to take them to the town hall.

As they didn't want to wait much more and neither were religious, it was decided to have a modest party in the lobby of a nice hotel after the signing of the marriage papers. Few were invited, only friends and close family, those being Godai, Higuchi, Usui, Kanae and her mother. Aya was permitted to attend but under the condition to have a guard following her everywhere. The Hayasakas were invited, but declined politely saying that they had business to attend. Yako kind of expected them to be watching from afar.

She wished that Sasazuka was there. And the old man. But sadly they would never be with her to ask what was wrong with her brain to marry a demon, to laugh with her in the party, to have a few drinks with everyone. She closed her eyes and sent a silent prayer for them.

After everything was over, they would go away in the 'honeymoon'. While the humans thought that they were cruising around the Caribbean sea, Neuro and her would go to Hell to finish their mating. They found some interesting information on the demon magic book. A portal that connected both realities could be made, and after a few testing trips Neuro confirmed that not only it worked, but that the Court had been informed about his intention to perform the weaving of souls with her. Perfect, she thought then, now a whole lot of demons know who I am and are expecting me.

And that was it. They would spend the rest of their eternities together with an unbreakable bond. There was not going back with this. Nice one trying to calm down, Yako. She sighed.

"Honey? The car is here," said the voice of her mother from the other side of the door.

"I'm coming!" she answered taking a last look at her on the mirror. Yes, she was doing this. She could do this. She had said yes a month and a half ago on her office, she was saying yes now.

They had talked about everything that could happen, every fear and doubt she had; they had fought and made up a lot in this time, each time helping them evolve their relationship to a better stage, each time a more intimate experience. This was no longer testing new grounds and new feelings, but still each day brought new adventures by his side.

And while she still blushes like crazy when she sees him naked, their physical compatibility was off the charts. Even her mother had noticed the way they are around each other, so comfortable and at ease. Maybe that's why when they told her about the marriage she was supportive and didn't mind the rush.

***

Neuro was pleased when everything went as expected. No one was late, nothing was missing, and Godai was behaving himself. Yako was radiant in her green dress (he smirked when he noticed the colour, and she blushed and looked elsewhere), her big brown eyes full of feelings and love. If she was nervous, she wasn't showing it. He was really proud.

They walked together to the desk of the woman who was to marry them by the law and stood side by side as she recited a speech about marriage and the life together. He wasn't listening to her, but was instead looking at his intended and basking on the sensation of joining her by human laws. Was this how having a mate felt like? He knew that the weaving would be a more intense and powerful process, but as everything was so new to him he didn't have anything else to compare with.

He had always considered a mate to be a burden. Why would a demon tie themselves to someone else? He could understand procreation, but some couples never mated and had children anyways, so it remained a mystery he could not solve but as it wasn't enough to satiate his hunger he never cared to solve. Now he could see it. A tiny part of him, the human bit that Yako had shared with him, was filled with happiness and love, excited to start a life with her; but the rest of him was in a peace he didn't know he needed. It was like he had always been missing a piece, an instrument out of tune in a big orchestra, and now was finally complete. He still wanted to solve the Ultimate Mystery, but he wanted her by his side when he did it, he wanted to share the meal with her.

"Do you, Nogami Neuro, take Katsuragi Yako as your wife?" said the woman. Yako glared at him knowing that he hadn't been listening. He smirked.

"I do," he answered and took out the ring they bought last week. It was pretty simple and with a clean design, and the only ring they could find that both liked. Who knew that Yako was so picky with her jewelry? Neuro swiftly put it on her ring finger under a heavy silence. He signed the document.

"Do you, Katsuragi Yako, take Nogami Neuro as your husband?" the young woman was blushing and slightly trembling, but managed to keep her voice even when she answered:

"I do," Yako said and put Neuro's ring on a chain around his neck. They had said that he couldn't take off his gloves because of a medical condition. Some were skeptical about this, but so far it seemed that they had bought it. She then signed with her name with surprisingly steady hands.

"By the Japanese laws I now declare you husband and wife."

The public began to clap for the newlyweds, but neither of them registered it (or Godai crying on the background) as they were too busy kissing for the first time as a married couple.

[theofficialcunt]

If you're down a would LOVE a little something with Adore winning AS3 (yes I know she's not on it LET ME DREAM) and Ru being like "so what are you gonna do with the money?" and Adore responds with "well I'm gonna spend it on the best fucking honeymoon EVER" and everyone's like ?!?!?! and she's like "oh yeah I forgot to mention I totally got married right before going on the show" *cue smug smirk* and Ru's all "OMG what??? anyone we know???" and BAM! cue Bianca.

I really hope I did this prompt justice. It was actually really fun to write! Enjoy ✨💕

The tv blared loudly throughout the club, the top 3 queens gripping each other’s hands in anticipation. It was hot, Adore was sweating profusely - partly from nerves but mostly from the amount of people watching them.

The crowning was in New York, and it was always a star studded event. Alaska would be crowning the winner, whose picture would then be hung next to hers in the imaginary All Star hall of fame.

Katya, Bob The Drag Queen, Kim Chi, and some of the local new york queens watched in anticipation as the reunion echoed throughout the building. Ru Paul himself was also there, standing next to Alaska with a microphone making comments here and there. Fans would scream and shout every now and then when something entertained them. Courtney Act and Bianca Del Rio were also there for support for their season 6 sister. This is Adore’s 3rd time on the show, and second time in the top 3.

“You ready for this mawma?” Trixie asked playfully, elbowing Adore.

“I mean, I guess.” Adore laughed uncomfortably.

She was not ready. Honestly, losing to Bianca the first time was hard. Yes, the win was well deserved - she dominated the fuck out of the competition. But Adore had to put on a smile for hours after the crowning and pretend to be okay with losing. When in reality she was under the impression she was going to be sharing the grand prize with her.

She was so sure of the win, she had already made plans for her prize money.

So, to say she was crushed when she lost was an understatement.

She did well on All Stars 3, won 3 challenges in fact. She never had to lip sync, and she didnt have to send anybody home either. It was a good situation overall.

But she wasn’t confident in who was going to win. It could be her crown. It could be Trixies crown. It could even be Chi Chi’s crown.

“Y’all, I just want some gumbo.” Chi Chi groaned, adjusting her false eyelash.

The three of them were an odd trio, but somehow their chemistry worked well on All Stars. Adore laughed, always finding it fascinating that Chi Chi and Bianca came from the same state but acted so different. Adore guessed it was because Bianca had too much New York in her now.

“And the winner of All Stars 3 is…”

Chi Chi and Trixie gripped Adore’s hands tightly, each digging their fake nails into her palms as they awaited their fate.

Her and Bianca made eye contact, and Adore noticed for the first time Bianca looked nervous. Her eyes kept darting around the room, she had one hand gripped on the side of her modest boat neck black velvet dress. She had Courtney’s hand in a vice grip, holding it so tight she was probably losing circulation in it.

Bianca smiled at Adore encouragingly, letting her eyes scan over the seafoam green sequin dress that hugged her body. She was wearing a blonde wig tonight, with some extra pieces woven in to add more volume. wanted Adore to win so bad. She thought she had deserved it the first time around, especially with the way that they edited it. Adore had stepped her game up for All Stars 3, investing in gowns and nicer hair pieces then usual. She did her best to show versatility on the show, and it worked - landing her a spot in the top 3. She worked very hard for this, and literally put herself out there all over again which had been hard on her after her departure on All Stars 2. She didn’t know how she would react if she would lose a second time.

“Adore Delano!”

The room erupted in screams, and Adore blinked rapidly with shock. She felt dizzy, her ears ringing from all of the excitement. Trixie screamed, pulling her in for a tight hug. Adore let her head rest into her chest as she let out a few tears. She had won drag race. She had won $100,000. She would be able to buy a house, make another album…

She was completely overwhelmed

This was what winning felt like.

Adore pulled away softly, wiping the tears from her eyes so that her makeup didn’t get ruined. She turned and embraced Chi Chi - giving her a longer hug. She had been a big fan of Chi Chi’s on season 8, and was sad that she didn’t win. They had grown close on the show, mostly becauseAdore was the only one familiar with Louisiana cuisine.

Because of Bianca.

Adore searched the crowd for B, and smiled when she saw her. Bianca was ecstatically jumping up and down, holding Courtney’s hand and…was she crying?!

Bianca’s cheeks were shiny from the tears of joy. She never cried in public, but she couldn’t help herself. Courtney grabbed a tissue from her purse and blotted her face gently, trying to move the elaborate makeup back into place.

“God, you’re a mess!” Courtney exclaimed, laughing as she wiped the runny mascara off of her cheeks.

“Shut up bitch, I have every right to be.” Bianca laughed through her tears, her voice still thick with emotion.

Adore walked across the stage to Alaska and Ru, where they stood with the crown and sceptre. Detox stood by with the check, beaming at her as she was handed a mic.

“I guess I’m expected to make a speech now huh?” Adore laughed nervously, eyeing Ru and Alaska.

The crowd laughed, then fell silent in anticipation.

Adore was nervous now, mostly because she just spoke from the heart when she talked to her fans.Now that she was a winner, was she expected to deliver articulate speeches?

“I want to start off by saying I’m so grateful for this oppurtunity man. Thank you Ru.” Adore smiled at Ru, who in return bowed to her.

“Winning drag race doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop keeping it real with you guys. You deserve to know the truth about shit, and you deserve to be called out if you start acting crazy. I’m talking to you Val.” Adore laughed, catching Valentina’s eyes in the far corner of the club.

“Honestly, you motherfuckers can do anything you set your mind to and I just love you all so much.” Adore exclaimed. “Thank you.”

Alaska smiled, bringing the crown over and gesturing for Adore to kneel down. She placed the crown on top of her blonde locks, smiling with pride as she stood up. The crowd went crazy, shouting and cheering as Adore smiled at them and waved.

Ru handed her the sceptre, whispering congratulations in her ear and ushering her over to Detox to receive the check.

“Presenting your new queen, and winner of $100,000 Adore Delano!” Alaska yelled.

Adore grabbed the check and posed for pictures for what felt like forever. First with Alaska and Detox, then with Alaska, Detox, and Ru. Then with Chi Chi and Trixie, and then finally Courtney and Bianca were pulled on stage.

“I thought it would be fitting to have your originalsisters pose with you.” Ru announced,

Adore smiled as Courtney tackled her in a crushing hug.

“I’m so happy for you Adorm!” Courtney exclaimed, pecking Adore on the cheek playfully.

“Okay that’s enough,” Bianca snapped, pulling Courtney off of her. “Congratulations. I knew it was going to be you.” Bianca held her for a solid minute before letting her go.

They took a few pictures together, and then they were ushered back to the front row while Ru began his interview with her on stage.

“So Adore, I have to ask.”  Ru started, as they sat down on two stools that had seemingly materialized out of nowhere.  “What are you going to do with the money?”

Adore bit her lip and made brief eye contact with Bianca before she nodded in agreement.

“Well, I’m gonna spend some of it on the best fucking honeymoon ever!” Adore exclaimed.

The crowd grew louder with confusion and excitement. Ru’s jaw dropped, along with all of the other queen’s on stage.

“Y-you’re married? When did that happen?” Ru asked curiously.

“Well, I got the call for All Stars and that was when we were just getting serious and I was like fuck, we could either do this now or do it when I get back - and he was like let’s just do it now!” Adore exclaimed animatedly, talking vividly with her hands. “So I was like, fuck yeah I’m down we’ll get a tax break if I win. So we jetted off to Vegas and did something super low key. We got married at 3 am so no fans would see, it was wild.”

Trixie was shrieking from backstage, along with the audience who had grown much louder during the course of the conversation. Adore had worked very hard to keep her marriage a secret, and it had definitely paid off.

“Bitch,  why didn’t you tell me?” Alaska shrieked. “I would have brought you guys a pizza.”

“I’m sorry Lasky! My husband isn’t really big on pizza so it’s better that you didn’t.” Adore laughed.

“Oh my god, this is just so shocking Adore.” Ru finally said, as the audience calmed down. “Now I have to ask, is your husband anyone we know?”

Adore smiled coyly, trying not to look in her husband’s general direction.

“Well, he’s here tonight…” Adore teased, smiling wide.

“Can we meet him?” Ru asked excitedly, scanning the crowd looking for the potential partner.

“Sure man!” Adore exclaimed, smiling smugly.

“Mr. Delano, if you are still in the building come on down!” Ru called, looking around the building.

Just then, Bianca stood up from the front row and sauntered up the steps to the stage. Ru’s jaw dropped, and Alaska screamed as the audience roared in approval. Bianca grinned, pecking Adore on the lips softly before grabbing her microphone.

“It’s Mrs. Del Rio thank you very much.” Bianca smiled, before dipping Adore in a passionate embrace.

Adore knew the fans were going to lose their minds, but she really had no clue how crazy they would get until it was all out in the open. The screaming and shrieking hadn’t died down since it was announced she was married, and had only gotten progressively worse as the night went on.

But Adore wouldn’t have it any other way.

[glorykrp]

SHOWING RESULTS FOR: NINA.

✩ Lee Sehyeon                          ✩ April 18th, 1989      ✩ San Francisco, USA               ✩ Jewel Box

LATEST RESULTS ON THE TOPIC.

Lee Sehyeon – Artist Profile. Nina is Jewel Box’s leader and lead vocalist. She trained for 8 years prior to debut.

Jewel Box (보석 함) “Wings of Your Heart / 심장의 날개”  Music Video – Youtube. Jul. 7, 2009. Watch the official music video for Jewel Box’s debut song.

Jewel Box’s Nina Glamorous Pictures for Vogue Korea Revealed – Naver. ❬ +2.554; -233 ❭ Sehyeon-ah, Diamond are always cheering you on!

RELATED SEARCHES.

» Nebula Silver          » Be Ambitious Album          » Nina Unrequited OST

PERSONAL LIFE.

lee baekho, a young businessman from south korea, didn’t really expect to find love when he was transferred to a permanent position located in california of the united states- but he did. veronica jung, unemployed but an avid lover of the arts, caught his eye once they’d met and they soon fell in love, getting married after just three years. with the excitement of the prospect of starting a family, the two lovebirds ended up getting pregnant as early as their honeymoon.

the baby girl had two names: one in english, nina, and one in her father’s native korean, sehyeon. the latter of the names was mainly preferred by her family, but her american peers resorted to using the english name. although growing up in america, sehyeon was taught korean early on. her parents would make sure not to speak anything other than korean at home in order to help her learn better.

as a child, the young sehyeon followed after her mother as she picked up an infatuation with the arts, moreover the performing arts- music, dance, acting. her after school extracurriculars included musical theater and singing lessons where her voice would begin to develop even at the young age. from watching examples of american pop singers and celebrities, young sehyeon decided then that she wanted to be a singer when she grew up. and she stuck to it.

sehyeon had just turned eleven when her father got the news that he was to be transferred back to south korea with a higher position offered than his last. this meant the family was to move from their sunny home in san francisco to the city of seoul in korea. it would be a new experience for the young sehyeon to face and she was ecstatic to go.

once there, she was introduced to pure korean culture, a new place for the western-influenced sehyeon. other people didn’t refer to her as nina anymore, either. they called her sehyeon just like her parents and talked only in korean, just like her parents.

during this time there was a fairly new craze involving the korean entertainment industry and the beginning of idol groups. once she was introduced to this new idea through seeing the era’s idol groups, sehyeon decided that in order for her to achieve her dreams of being a singer, she must become an idol for one of these larger, entertainment companies. her eyes went after nebula and when she auditioned at twelve years of age, she passed and they welcomed her in with open arms.

sehyeon began her training in hopes to be a solo artist and she made sure the management knew. they told her to choose a stage name, preferably english - as it was the norm then - and so on her official profile, her stage name read “nina”. however, after about three years of training, her trainers saw she still lacked something in her that would be obvious in determining who would debut as a solo and who would not. they sat down and talked to her, and it was decided that she would continue training, her stage name still nina, but as an idol group trainee instead.

it wasn’t soon after this was decided that the management began to put together candidates for a new girl group project, sehyeon being one of them. she couldn’t complain then, as this would be her chance to debut. and yes, she did debut with them.

in the early debut years, the group faced a lot of criticism, sehyeon receiving a large sum herself for her apparent “attitude”. although merely rumors, the attention she was getting for her facial expressions gave her anxiety and she went through slumps often. the pressure from the critics was burdensome, and she wasn’t happy. although, with time, the amount of criticism went down as people became more familiar with her reserved personality and instead began to admire her leadership skills.

she’s been active as the leader of jewel box. the group’s success continues to make her proud, and although the stress of her daily life is largely there, she’s still no doubt happy now that she can freely pursue her dream.

STRENGTHS & WEAKNESSES.

sehyeon’s strengths mainly lie in her vocal abilities, which after all were apart of the reason she passed the audition into nebula. although not particularly the greatest vocalist, she does have a rather stable and clear tone along with a high vocal range, which is undoubtedly a product of the many years of her training. adding to this skill, sehyeon possesses a sort of charisma that allows her to be a “chameleon” and easily blend in when it comes to jewel box’s changing concepts. as the leader of her group, she has developed her skill of leadership over the years which has been a positive experience so far, having received numerous compliments as she continues to act well in her position. along with these strengths, however, there are still flaws and it’s mentioned for her dancing skills. although she manages to execute her group’s choreographies well, sehyeon has been criticized on numerous occasions for being a ‘lazy’ dancer. as much as she practices to perfect the moves of their songs, she lacks the power and energy her other group member’s have. sehyeon also has been criticized severely for her facial expressions and attitude since debut, but as years have gone by the amount of criticism has gone down as the industry has gotten to know her.

2017 INTERVIEW.

sehyeon sighed, “fame as an idol is different than how one might expect. it’s what i wanted really, i can’t complain. but there are a lot of restrictions, expectations, and it’s really strict, which can be definitely suffocating at times. but if you think about it in a different light, it’s all an effort to help you and your group either be safe from scandal or to keep your name at the top.” biting her bottom lip, the young woman tilted her head as she thought back in her head to past instances involving the unfair regulations of her company - which were several. “it also takes out of your personal life. for instance, my cousin had gotten married and i wasn’t able to attend due to the fact that i had an important schedule on the day of, which was obviously very annoying. i guess you can say that’s one of the consequences associated with fame? i’m no doubt thankful and like it’s unfair and all, but it’s the life.”

[officialcherubcampus]

CHERUB: Disconnected

The events in this story take place at the same time as Chapter 44 of CHERUB: Divine Madness

James Duncan was thirty-one years old. A maths professor with tangled blond hair, he felt pure love as he crouched over the cot of his fourteen-month-old daughter, Megan. She was fast asleep with a pink and white teddy nestled under her chin.

“Is she OK?” James’ girlfriend, Gaynor, asked as he stepped through to the living-room. They’d been out for a meal. She wore a long strapless dress and her high heels had been kicked under the coffee table.

“She’s all snuggled up,” James nodded, as he stretched into a yawn. “I gave the sitter an extra fiver. She seemed really nice.”

Gaynor tutted. “And she’ll expect a tip every time now.”

James was startled to see a tower collapsing in flames on the TV screen. “What the hell’s that?”

“I don’t know,” Gaynor said. “I just flicked the ten o’clock news on. It’s down under, I think.”

James grabbed the remote and turned up the sound as he sat with his girlfriend on the sofa. The reporter spoke in an Australian accent and the screen had LIVE FROM AUSTRALIA in the top right corner.

“The colourful religious guru Joel Regan is dead, believed murdered. His world-famous ark has been devastated in a massive explosion that killed many of his most devoted followers, and government sources have revealed that his controversial Survivors cult has funded the terrorist group Help Earth to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars...”

“Oh, it’s those nutters,” James said. He felt dizzy as he bent forwards and kissed Gaynor on the neck; he’d drunk more wine than he’d realised. “There was a thing about that lot in the Sunday paper a couple of months back.”

“At this stage there are no casualty estimates but there are thought to be more than two hundred children inside the ark...”

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” James said, as he sat on the couch. “Something I probably should have told you a while back.”

Gaynor recoiled as she watched an image of a burned child being hoisted into a helicopter on a stretcher. She was engrossed in the drama and turned irritably towards James as he switched TV into standby.

“I was watching that.”

“Sorry,” James said, “but we’re getting married in less than a month and there’s something I’ve got to tell you.”

Gaynor suddenly looked uneasy. “What is it?”

“Before Megan, erm...I mean, a long time ago - I have a son.”

“With Trudy?” Gaynor gasped. “Is Kieran really yours?”

“No, give over!” James smiled. “Kieran was born before I ever met Trudy. This boy would be fourteen now.”

“Fourteen! But that would make you barely seventeen when...”

“You know I told you that I ran away from home?”

“After you went nuts, knocked over that little girl and crashed your dad’s car?”

“That’s the one,” James nodded. “I was out of my mind. I had no money, nothing to eat and I was just wandering around the West End of London scared that the cops were gonna nab me and throw me in young offenders.

“It was getting dark and this lady sat down next to me. She looked really beefy, but then she started pulling video games out of her coat and sticking them inside her backpack. Remember the old Sega Megadrive? She must have had thirty Megadrive games tucked inside her coat. I saw what she was doing and I couldn’t help but laugh. After a while we got talking about this and that. I told her that I’d run away from my parents, although I left out the bit about the cops being after me for knocking down a kid. It was December, freezing cold and I clearly had no place to go, so she took pity and invited me home.

“She was in her twenties, a bit overweight - even without all the stuff inside her jumper - but I was kind of in awe. The closest I’d ever been to a girlfriend was a game of chess with Stacey Beech. She told me to take a shower and when I came out she’d found me some clothes: stolen of course.”

“So what was this woman’s name?” Gaynor asked.

“Gwen Choke. She was nice, even though we were as different as could be. Like, my dad’s a doctor, her dad was a bus driver. She made us a nice roast dinner and told me I could stay in the spare room for a couple of nights. But we drank all this wine and started mucking about, chasing around the flat and one thing led to another. I was on cloud nine. I mean, I went from never having kissed a girl to boffing Gwen in the space of about four hours...”

Gaynor looked a touch upset. “You said you got your first girlfriend at university, after you’d been inside.”

“I made a huge mess of my life back then,” James admitted. “This is the first time I’ve ever told anyone the truth about when I ran away. Even my folks don’t know this stuff.”

“So it was just the one night?” Gaynor asked.

“No, I was totally smitten. I mean, she was seven years older than me, but she really pampered me. Stolen food, stolen clothes, stolen booze. Nothing but the best. We had Christmas and New Year with her parents and it was a great time, but a few weeks into the new year she told me she was pregnant.

“I was seventeen and I couldn’t handle it. Gwen said she wanted a baby and understood if I wanted nothing to do with it. At first I said I’d stick by her, but the more I thought about it, the more it freaked me out. I mean, I’d always imagined that I was going to be a doctor like my old man and yet there I was, seventeen years old living in a council flat with my pregnant girlfriend. I told Gwen that I wanted her to get an abortion, but she said she wanted a baby with someone smart like me and she wouldn’t ask me for anything.

“I got really depressed. I knew the cops would catch me eventually and I just waited until she went out, packed up all the stuff she’d bought me and headed back to Cambridge. My mum was glad to see me. She didn’t pry and the next morning my dad took me to the police station to give myself up.”

“So have you ever seen him?” Gaynor asked.

James nodded. “He’s named after me. Gwen sent me pictures and stuff when I was in prison and she brought James up to visit me when he was a few months old. She’d started getting a few other girls to shoplift for her whilst she was pregnant and she was building herself a proper little empire.”

“Didn’t you bother contacting her when you got out of prison?”

“Yeah,” James nodded. “The baby was walking by the time I got out of young offenders. I was flat broke and I’d got my place at university, but I was determined to be a proper dad to the little fellow. But Gwen seemed to like picking up waifs and strays and she had this new bloke called Ron. He was a right horrible sod. The first couple of times I turned up to see James he kept having digs at me. Calling me a snooty so and so.

“Then the third time I came he’d heard something about the car crash. He kept going on about how a bloke like him would have got life for knocking down that little girl and that I’d only got off with three years because of my public school accent. I’d toughened up a hell of a lot when I was inside and I just saw red and decked him. But James was really upset and Gwen was crying and it was just this whole god-awful scene.

“I called up again a few weeks later. Fortunately Ron was out and I managed a chat with Gwen. She said she was pregnant with Ron’s kid. I said maybe it would be better if I steered clear for a while. We spoke on the phone a few more times and she sent me some pictures of James with his new sister. It wasn’t that I didn’t mean to go back, but I got into my degree and I waited longer and longer.”

“So when did you last hear from Gwen?”

“She used to write a letter and send me his school picture every year and I used to jot a few paragraphs in a Christmas card. But she stopped about three years ago for some reason. I wrote a letter to ask if she was OK, but I didn’t get a response. I even tried calling, but the phone was disconnected. I think she’d split up with Ron, so I guess she moved away. Probably remarried or something.”

“There’s a part of you that I won’t ever know,” Gaynor smiled. “So why did you choose to tell me this now?”

“Well, partly it’s the getting married thing. But also I figure that he might go looking for his old man at some point. My parents still live in the same house, so he’d have no problem tracking me if his mum gave him the address.”

“When did you say he was born exactly?”

“October ninety-one,” James said.

“So he’ll be fifteen this year?” Gaynor smiled. “I could just see you trying to squirm your way out of it when this big strapping son turns up on our doorstep!”

“You sound OK about this,” James said uneasily. “I mean, tell me if you’re mad. You’ve got every right to be.”

Gaynor shrugged. “You were so messed up at that time...It’s like, you were this geeky kid who grew up to become a maths professor, but right in the middle there’s two years of absolute craziness. That part of your life is like some whole other person who I’ve never met.”

“I was thinking that I might try to track him down,” James said. “I think a boy should get to meet his dad, even if he ends up thinking that he’s an arsehole.”

“James, he’s almost fifteen. He’s just as likely to plant one on you and tell you to piss off.”

“And maybe that’s what I deserve...”

“And don’t start on this now,” Gaynor said. “I mean, Megan’s still a baby, we’ve got the wedding and the honeymoon to plan. We could probably get by without a teenage boy in our midst over the next few months.”

“Yeah,” James smiled, as he slipped an arm around his girlfriend’s back. “I wasn’t talking about getting in touch right now, but I’d like to meet him, you know? I might try finding out where Gwen Choke moved to and I’ll ask her if it’s OK to write a letter or something.”

[newtreefarm]

Page 3

I said before that I had a panic attack that first year after dad died and quit my job for about a month before I started looking for another one. I had started getting counseling pretty-much right away after he died, knowing that I could not get through it on my own. It took a while to find an anti-depressant that would help. Sometimes, our body can not pull itself back out of depression. Sometimes our chemistry is off and we get stuck in a cycle. Sometimes medication is necessary to stop the cycle and get back on the healthy road again.

After a little while, I was ready to look for a new job. I didn't want to teach again because I needed a job that was 9 to 5. One I could clock in and clock out & go home. No grading, no meetings, no strings. I found a job in the financial aid office of the university mom taught at. I started out as a financial aid counselor. Over the years I ended up moving to more of a paperwork job because money was a hot-button topic. When people don't get as much aid as they want or expect, they blow their tops pretty quickly. As a counselor, one of my jobs was to calm them down and help them see straight again. I was good at it, but it took a toll. After what I had been through I didn't want to be yelled at all day at work. Plus, my supervisor as a counselor had an abusive and manipulative personality too, and once again, I was done with that (well, I wanted to be done with it anyway).

The years that started with that job were definitive for the next chapter of my life. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a not-so-good chapter. During those years I focused of healing and rebuilding my life. The problem is, I did it all wrong. Key words: I DID IT. What I didn't realize is that I couldn't possibly have done a good job.

I went about going through counseling. That was a good decision. However, counseling heals the emotions but not the soul. Only God can heal the soul. So, my emotions got strong again, but my soul was still a wounded mess walled in by the external strength. I made so many poor decisions.

I signed up with an online dating service. I thought that God didn't want us to sit around, right? I had to get out there and meet people. I met a couple of people and even met one, but they didn't work out. I was good at getting to know them but when we met and they saw me in person, they went away. Remember that with me depression and weight go hand in hand. After dad died I stopped eating. I was already looking good, but when I stopped eating I lost about 15 or so more pounds and looked great. The problem came about a year or so later when the shock wore off. My metabolism had gone into survival mode, so when I started eating again, and then eating more, my body stayed in starvation mode and held onto everything. I gained weight very quickly & I gained a lot of it. The guys liked me until they saw me. Being overweight in California is about the worst thing you can be. I never really understood their reactions to seeing me though, because I had posted a realistic picture of myself with my profile. But, that's what happened nonetheless.

Then, I met someone from Alabama. He and I hit it off right away and our profiles were a STRONG match. We spent almost all of our time while not at work talking to each other on the phone. He flew me out to Alabama to meet him and his family. He didn't care what I looked like because he was blind. He liked me for who I was. He flew out to California to meet my family soon after that. A few months later we were married and I moved to Alabama.

We walked into a whirlwind. The problem is whirlwinds make it hard to catch your breath sometimes, and they can obscure red flags. So many things happened. The wedding had so many obsticles because neither of us were financially prepared. But, all of the obsticles were smoothed over so well that I thought it was proof that it was the Lord's will. I thought He had taken care of it all. I went into my marriage thinking I had found the one God had for me, the one who really loved me, and I would NOT get a divorce.

Things started changing soon after we were married. Not long after we met I was bitten by a black widow spider while taking a nap at home. It bit me on the back of my head & the venom traveled down my arms and pooled in my hands (I'm so thankful that it didn't travel down to my heart!). My doctor didn't believe me that it was a spider & told me to just keep taking anti-inflammitories. I went back again and saw the nurse practitioner a week or so later & on the off chance I was right about the spider, she gave me an antibiotic that would kill the venom. I started to improve a little after that. My regular doctor ran bloodwork about a month later and saw my inflammation levels had skyrocketed. Still not thinking it was a spider bite, she sent me to a rheumatoligist to be tested for rheumatoid arthritis. After inconclusive tests, the rheumatologist said, "well, I guess you have it," and started me on treatments. I went along with everything because back then I did not question my doctors because they were authorities & I had never had reason to question them. I believed them.

So, a few days before my wedding I started my RA medication. It was a chemo drug. My body did not respond well. By the time we were married and left for the honeymoon, the drug had started making me feel horrible. We went to his favorite place: Gatlinburg. He was so excited to show me his favorite spots, but I could hardly get out of bed. I couldn't be up for very long & had no energy to sight-see. He didn't understand. We fought a lot. I didn't realize at the time what was going on, I just knew I felt horrible and just didn't have energy. I pushed myself to do as much as I could with him, but the whole trip was a failure.

A few months later, his mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. He was angry with me because I still couldn't do a lot & now that meant I couldn't do a lot to take care of his mom.

Eventually, my doctor determined that the chemo drug was doing me more harm than good & switched me to something else. My body tolerated that one better & things smoothed out a bit. I ended up being on 3 or 4 medications for 2 years.

After about the first year I finally found a job working night shift as a dispatcher for the fire department. It paid well, was interesting, and I was available to take my husband to work and pick him up. I also took my mother-in-law to her chemo treatments and was one of her main caregivers. We got her through the first crisis point and found a normal somewhere in there.

Going through the cancer journey brought my husband and I closer again. We worked together to help her and leaned on each other through it. We found some happiness, even in a painful journey. In the meantime, I had found a new RA doctor. He saw my bloodwork and told me I didn't have RA. He took me off all the medications. My hair grew back and I started to do well. My body had finally recovered from the venom and was free of the unnecessary meds.

Off all of the meds, we decided to try to have a baby. Once the morning sickness hit full force, my mother-in-law went to her chemo by herself every once in a while. Then, they switched her to pills so she didn't have to go at all. She seemed to be doing better and we were happy to have a baby on the way.

My boy was born a couple of weeks early, but he was perfect. Such a cute little guy. I was so excited. I had always wanted to be a mom.

Things started to get rough pretty quickly. My husband wasn't comfortable being home at night while I was at work, so we found a sitter to keep the baby at night. However, that meant we couldn't afford one during the day as well. I still needed to be able to take my husband to work, etc. so I needed to work nights. We couldn't afford daycare too and I also didn't want someone else taking care of my son. I could rationalize someone taking care of him while he slept, but not whike he was awake. So, I stayed up with him during the day and slept only when he napped. That meant I slept about 3 hours a day. At first it was in 30-60 min intervals, but eventually I was able to sleep 2 hours at once and then another hour after he went to bed and before I had to get ready for work. I figured I could do that until he went to school. With support from my husband, I thought I could do anything for a few years.

It didn't turn out that way. When my son was a year old, my mother-in-law passed away. She was tired of chemo. After he turned one she decided to stop. Once she was gone, we started fighting more. What had begun as parenting differences led to resentment, misunderstanding, and eventually grief when his mom died. It all kept building up until gradually he started spending more time away than at home. He threatened to leave me in one particularly bad fight we had. We patched it up though, and I attributed it to grief issues more than anything, so I overlooked it.

I ended up in the hospital with meningitis a year later. I've already decribed what the Lord did there. When I got home, my eyes opened up to what was going on. Everything was so gradual that it got really bad before I knew it. The week after I got out of the hospital he threatened to leave me again. I'm so thankful my mom was there. Before she left, we got to the point where he said he'd stay. I told him to never threaten that again and we decided to get marriage counseling. We started out getting pastoral counseling. I didn't know what was wrong, but I knew something was very wrong & I was desperate to fix it. Pastoral counseling didn't help us a lot but it did lay the groundwork for the future processes. We found a psychologist next & she helped more. Well, she helped me more. He eventually stopped seeing her, so I continued alone.

Again, he threatened to leave me during a fight. Things were different this time. Counseling hadn't helped us at all. The cycles of emotional abuse continued and I couldn't see how they would ever stop if he wasn't in counseling. I prayed about it for a few days & finally told him to go ahead and call his divorce attorney. That scared him. He said he started to see what was going on. He said that he just used those threats of leaving as a tactic but he wasn't serious. He said he wanted to do what he needed to to fix what was wrong.

So we separated. He moved out. I told him that in order to fix what was wrong he needed to find a counselor and go every week. If he truly worked on issues, I could not be in the house with him while he processed the emotions. It wasn't safe for me. We would discuss progress every three months. As long as progress was being made we would continue working toward reconciliation. If not, we would divorce.

After the first 3 months I had gotten healthier and he had made no progress. He went to his appointments as promised, but no progress at all was being made. I told him that it appeared to me like he was waiting for me to get "fixed" and biding his time. He assured me I was wrong and we agreed to continue.

After six months of no progress I told him there was no point in continuing. Nothing was getting better. We needed to divorce. He agreed, but did say that he had indeed been biding his time until I came around. We were at an impasse and there was no way to go forward together. Now we needed to save for legal retainers and start the process.

About four months later, just before Christmas I got sick again. It ended up being the equivalent of mono. By this time, after years of almost no sleep, my body just wasn't able to recover like a "normal" person would be able to. Once my short term disability expired and I still couldn't go back to work, I quit my job and we made the decision that my son and I would move to California so I could heal. By that time, the Lord had healed us enough that He gave me favor with my husband and he agreed to the whole thing. Three weeks before our flights were scheduled we signed the divorce papers. He allowed permission to move to California to be written into them (he had the power to deny permission and keep us both in Alabama). Five days before the flight it was final. I had cashed in my retirement to pay off the loan on my car and to finance the move. My uncle and my brother came to load and drive the moving truck.

These were just the external details. Internally, the Lord was working big-time. Getting a divorce shattered me again. It ended up being worse than dad's suicide was on me. But, this time, the Lord did it all. He picked-up the pieces of me. He protected me. He corrected me. He helped me process hate. He helped me process heartache. He comforted me. He gave me the strength, through fatigue and illness, to get up each day for my son. He brought me a support system. Our pastor led the system. He was a strong supporter, except when I agreed to separate first. He was not pleased with that, thinking I was falling back into the role of enabler again. He just didn't realize the process the Lord needed to walk me through first. The Lord also took care of me financially. When we separated, He told me to give my husband more of the money & that left my household in the red. He took care of it though. Through gifts and miracles, He provided for us so that no payments were ever late. When I quit my job and had no income at all, He had our church step in without me even asking. When my retirement money finally came, it was just enough to get me and my son home and to pay for the truck & everyone's plane tickets. He took such care of us every step of the way.

We came home. I had left as one but come home two. My son was one month away from turning four when we moved. He left his dad in Alabama. He gained his grandma, aunt and uncle, and his cousins in California. I got my family back at last and started a new road. I was emotionally and physically broken. This time though, my relationship with the Lord was strong, personal, and dynamic. He had brought me home to California and He had brought me home to Him to heal. I was empty of everything but full of Him. Page 3 was over & it was time to turn to page 4.

[secludeed]

I think this is it.

You know, it’s been almost two months of our relationship. Almost. Two. Whole. Damn. Months. I was looking so god damn forward to it too, it was going to feel like such an amazing accomplishment. Haha, silly me. Anyways... I write here once again, long, long, long after the accident because... God I never know where to begin when my mind starts racing like this, and this is extreme. Anyways... I guess let’s start from the beginning. I met this girl, this very cute and attractive girl named Jen. Immediately I just... I don’t know, I just felt I wanted to be hers, and that is never the case with anyone. Turns out that she goes on dates with guys time to time, but unfortunately doesn’t make her feel all that great about herself. So, I wanted to make a promise to myself: to make her happier and to help her get closer with her family. I never thought I’d be buying a second helmet for someone, especially someone I just met a few days prior haha. Anyways, on one of the wildest moments of my life, I rode to Riverside with a passenger for the first time, let alone essentially a complete stranger. Yet that day there, I learned so much about her. We learned a little about each other that day. But to me, it was one of the best days of my life because I had gotten to meet someone, to pick at their brain, and just get to know someone deep down, personally. Guys came and went. Every time I was there as her best friend, and even outright mentioned as her best friend, it hit me to the core that they could be as romantically involved with her as I wanted to be. Yet I knew that if she wanted me, she would make an effort at it, as much as I was trying to myself. Throughout the summer and even until now, my finances have been... poor, to say the least haha. And I don’t blame her for it, no I could never. I just blame myself for my poor financial decisions and such that have put me in this situation. Nonetheless, over time, Jen and I grew as friends. One morning, we were expecting to just hang out, but since it was really early she asked me if I wanted to come over in the morning to just try to nap a bit before the rest of the day, to which I was surprised, but happily accepted. I was nervous at first, I guess. I laid down on the floor, but since I had left my house I didn’t really feel all too sleepy anymore. So, she questioned why I was there on the floor and just invited me onto the bed. Let’s just say... things got a tad bit more intimate, slowly but surely. We were best friends after all, so what we were doing was jeopardizing our friendship. It felt so wrong, but so right. It took a while before we thought that this isn’t what we should be doing and to just ignore it, let it go, move on and try to forget about it. It wasn’t until a movie night when it got late and I was still over that we had gotten intimate again. I ended up sleeping over that day, and she said that if we were going to be intimate friends that it would be strictly for fun, no strings attached which ultimately meant we were not supposed to fall for each other. Unfortunately, just over time, as we continued to spend more time with one another, we had fallen for each other. Rather, she had fallen for me, as I was already so invested and so... in a way I guess in love with her. Anyways, this just kept going, and we treated each other like we were a couple, yet we’re very open and never declared so. There came a night where she stayed over at Riverside, and somehow my ex got brought up. Now, this was the past and in no way represents who I am now, and am purely journalizing what had happened, no opinions or bias whatsoever now. But she was upset because she insisted I had not moved on from my ex, yet was trying to be with her, therefore not giving her my full love or affection. I couldn’t trust myself, but I tried to prove her otherwise, ultimately just conceding and agreeing with her, calling defeat. She was right after all. But that was a wake up call. As upset with me as she was, she said she didn’t want me to be my ex’s still. She wanted me for her, and thus officially began our relationship, September 29, 2018. Time goes on. We’re in our honeymoon stage, and somehow I was being quite reluctant and hesitant toward all of this, because she even said I hadn’t moved on, but I was doing my damn best to. Eventually, another fight broke out. This time, again, it was my fault. I still had pictures and shit of my ex, things that she asked me about but I just brushed it off to the side. This was, in retrospect, such a foolish, stupid, ignorant and outright idiotic move on my part. If I was trying so hard to move on like I said I was, why was all of this still here? I tried to get rid of it. I begged for forgiveness and another chance, to which she reluctantly gave me. But this time was my last, and damn it this time was the one that not just lit my ass on fire, it pretty much lit all of California on fire. This time, I told myself, enough was enough and that from that point on, I belonged only to Jen. I was hers and hers only and I was going to do my damn best to make her the happiest she ever could be. So, with disagreements here and there, just personality and relationship building and obstacles, we come to this point. Man I am so fucking attached, like not in a bad way but it hurts now, and I’ll explain why. I remember, not because of my ex, but because it is who I am as a person, and which is why I was hesitant to love her fully, is that I am a hopeless romantic, and by that I mean utter completely disappointing hopeless romantic. I depended on her so much. I love her and wanted to be with her so much. It crushed me when she would go out with other guys or people when I wanted her all to myself. This, to me, was giving myself all to her. Yet I know this could be overwhelming. After all, toward the beginning of our relationship, in a way she was quite similar in attachment too. But at least she knew it, and I accepted her for it because if that’s who she is, then I would love her because of it. I just didn’t know that she didn’t want me to be the same like that... Over the past few days, or weeks almost, she’s been going out with an old romantic interest, Kevin. Throughout most of our friendship, she had one person left in her life that she never got rid of, and this was him. It wasn’t until later where she finally did, and that’s great, but then he messaged her asking for forgiveness and to take her out to explain, hang out, and catch up. I felt that if that’s really what’s going, sure, they can be friends... right? Anyways that day, I thought they were just grabbing lunch and then we’d go out later afterward and just hang out. But instead I spent all day at Starbucks waiting to hang out with her. Fed up and quite tired, I decided I wanted to go lay down at the park, try to relax and straighten my thoughts and maybe catch some rest. On the way however, my bike broke down and I was stranded on the side of the road. She knew of none of this because she was busy with him, respectfully, and I had another biker stick with me till my tow truck came much later. I got my bike towed, and my day was just shit, but nonetheless I asked if I could sleep over at Jen’s so that we can go to school together and then help me take my bike to the dealer to get it looked at. Yet when she pulled up, the jealousy in me, albeit attempting to hide or negate, made me upset that she was wearing his sweater. After all, mine had begun to smell too, unfortunately. But I pushed it aside. I was just so happy to see her after how my day had been going. We went to her house so I could help her study and that entire time I was just so grateful to have her and to be with her, as I had been hoping to all throughout the day. Yet her family saw this and felt it was a sign of weakness, that I was too attached and too dependent, and therefore saw me negatively. She told me of this and it crushed me. I was compared to her ex by her family, to which she reluctantly agreed to some points, and this killed me. But I tried to move on. From that point on, it was Thanksgiving. I had been going out with Jen on some days, pretty much saw her at least once a day. Then came Black Friday. I went out to the mall with her hoping to look at shoes below $50. So when her family came by to shop too and when we met up, she was happy to show me shoes she thought looked nice on me. However I disagreed mainly because I was ashamed that I didn’t NEED new shoes nor could really afford it, and that what I had was enough. But she believed that I was being forced to and became very upset with me, told her family and ultimately just called me a dumbass because I should just suck it up and get new stuff, especially on Black Friday and for the wedding. That night I dropped her off after playing pool and going to see the city lights, and it was feeling okay again, because I had her. I still thought so much about what I had become to her family and it was killing me, but I was grateful to have her. Then came move in. See, today is officially Tuesday. But as I write this, it’s technically the end of Monday. And Sunday, I had gotten fabric to make her a blanket out of pure love and care for her and her warmth. However Sunday night I had accidentally brought up that I made my ex one before and therefore she completely negated the significance of it. But I did not mean it in any way of comparing her to my ex, because like I wrote, I didn’t care about her and was moving on. But I saw it upset her. Monday rolls by. I’m sulking because she’s going to spend the night with Kevin watching another movie. I don’t have a bike, I’m thinking all these negative thoughts, I can’t really afford rent or the bike maintenance, and bills came in bulk, plus I wish I could spend time with Jen. All of this and it showed my weakness as I sulked all day just wanting to be with her. Yet she thought about it. She didn’t want someone as weak as me, not just in this context but overall because I just am not courageous enough for her, being there for her and backing her up when I needed to, especially because I couldn’t for myself. It just isn’t who I am as a person. We had a very long, open discussion tonight. It was heartbreaking to say the least. But nonetheless, she loved me, but couldn’t see it in the long run. I don’t know how to fix it. Sure we could be friends, even if it’s highly frowned upon, but I still love her. I still care about her. I don’t want to lose her as a girlfriend, as a friend, as a person. But she did bring up many valid points even if some, in my eyes, I disagreed upon. Nevertheless, I did agree and want the best for her and just want her to be happy, like I said even if it is without me. I don’t know. In a way I don’t think I would have really ever been like this if Kevin wasn’t back in her life. But in another way I mnow I’m in the wrong in so many situations, and that I just... I just should have done something, said something, just learned and changed for the better, like she wanted me to. But I didn’t because I was so caught up and so foolish and so blind. I don’t want to stop fighting for our love and relationship. But the negative inside of me wants to admit defeat so badly. It’s just... I’m sorry to say this, but I let go of my last relationship and didn’t fight for it and look where it led me to before Jen. That’s why, unlike that one, I am fighting for this one, sticking up for it like I need to, because it matters the most now. Love is not a destination. Love is a journey. This has been an amazing, wild, and adventurous journey, Jen. I don’t want it to end, and I don’t want you to close the book for us. I want to keep writing and keep going and keep adding to our story together, not just as friends but as a couple. And ever since our last fight, I have loved you with all of my heart, wholeheartedly and unconditionally, but that was not enough. And I’m sorry it wasn’t but it is all I can offer to you, because you told me that’s what matters most. Thank you for everything. I will always be your best friend first, here for you if you need me and caring for and loving you and wanting only the best to you, with or without me. I just wish we could have worked it out, and that we would be spending the rest of our lives in each other’s arms. Who knows, maybe one day we will. But for now, I guess I got some growing I need to do, I don’t know how or how long or what is defined as ready, but I will always be ready for you no matter what. Thank you, Jen. I love you so much more than you could ever imagine, so much more than I could ever show you.

[itsworn]

Datzen and the Art of Project Cars – LS-Powered 280Z!

Building a YouTube show is not unlike building a project car: they’re both seen by many, judged by all, and take more work to assemble than anyone can imagine. These things engulf people in the pursuit of perfection and creativity, as both machines are often a doppelgänger for the personalities behind them. Maybe that’s why folks have become endeared with Emily and Aaron Reeves’ Flyin’ Sparks Garage, a YouTube channel that’s dedicated to the seeds and soil of grassroots hot rodding. The show is produced in their home shop in Mabank, Texas – just an hour outside of Dallas – and their projects are centered on honest, low-buck swaps and upgrades on everything from 2005 Pontiac GTOs to 1978 Datsun 280Zs. The channel has a dedicated following, with over 3.2-million views since the channel’s launch in 2013, and recently the duo announced their upcoming Velocity Channel show, Live, Love, Wrench.

But for Emily and Aaron, this story goes back 18 years to a mechanical fail that left the “Datzen” on the back burner as Aaron and Emily grew up. The Datzen was there when the duo met in church; it was Aaron’s first car. As they dated and grew up together, however, it became something of an albatross.

“Didn’t you pay $50 a week for it?” Emily asked as our interview began. “Yeah. I couldn’t afford it, it was 1,500 bucks,” Aaron recalled. “This was 18 years ago and I made payments on it for about two months to pay for it. Originally the car was parked just because we were kids and didn’t have any money. It was a very old fuel injection system that I didn’t understand. I didn’t have the skills to deal with it, and as a young man, there are a lot of things you go through that build the pieces of your view of yourself. And this one did not do me any favors, this entire car.” The Datzen’s archaic fuel-injection wiring was ultimately failing, and they parked the car while moving on down life’s road while the two found their own careers in diesel repair and fashion modeling (we’ll let you guess who did what).

They continued building a few project cars, like Emily’s “Roxy” GTO, but the Datzen sat with no plan in sight. While it hit Aaron hard personally, it’s one of the most venerable and relatable stories out there – short of the ones that “should’ve never been sold.” That first project car, especially as a young adult, is one of the first things someone wholly owns, but that personal investment can really hurt when yet-to-be-had wisdom and experience is met with seemingly unsolvable hurdles.

Then in 2013, the Texas couple launched Flyin’ Sparks Garage on YouTube. It came out of a dream for sharing what they felt was the reality of spinning wrenches at the home shop. The cable TV car shows, to their credit, focused on dramatic “one-week” builds, dream team parts combinations, and a departure from what they felt was how folks really experienced their own projects.

“One of the coolest things is hearing people say, ‘Man, I watched some of these shows, and the car is built in a half-hour and I think, ‘I could never do that. When I go out, I have problems with every little thing!’” Emily explained. “We show the obstacles and overcoming them — and in doing it, having fun. This is part of hot rodding, and part of building stuff is overcoming problems. Nothing’s gonna be perfect.

“It’s very back country — just make it work — and that was a huge insecurity of ours, but we realized that the bulk of our audience likes it. ” Aaron continued, “It struck a chord with them, and it became more interesting than if we had given them lots of technical advice, so we were able to settle into that place and just what we do.”

In 2016, with for their 10th wedding anniversary approaching, they were looking for a way to pull all the tangents of their lives together to celebrate and began thinking about Datzen. There was roughly a year to rebuild it before the 2017 HOT ROD Power Tour, and they wanted it to be there because the Power Tour is where they spent their honeymoon ten years prior. If they were to make the 2017 Power Tour, they’d be committing to a complete re-think of the car. Though electrical issues had side-lined it, the car had also rotted while sitting in project purgatory.

First the original 2.8L L28E inline-six with its tiny manual gearbox were yanked out before the car was set back on the ground to have its floor pans punched out. New sheet metal was hammered and stitched into place by Emily while Aaron reinforced the chassis rails with box tubing.

A set of CX Racing coil-overs were installed to get the car into the weeds, while a Silvermine Motors Stage 4 big-brake kit clamp down on a custom four-lug set of American Racing’s 18-inch VF502, 8-inches-wide up front and 10 inches out back. To huddle over those big meats, a venerable set of pocket flares were bolted on.

This work was all done to pour a new foundation for an LS2-based build that packed CP pistons, a Comp cam, and the set of Patriot heads from her previous GTO project. To keep it from being “just another” LS swap, they decided to fabricate a set of 180-degree cross-over headers (for a unique engine note) and topped everything off with an eight-stack Inglese intake backed by FAST’s XFI fuel-injection. A T-56 six-speed was bolted up behind the combo, and a custom mount was fabricated to hold it while a set of mounts from Dirty Dingo suspended the engine block.

A friend of theirs, Aaron Sellers of Pac Fab, CNC milled a custom set of valve covers for the build.

And then it happened — Murphy and his maligned laws visited the Flyin’ Sparks Garage. A miscalculation in their custom pistons meant that it didn’t take much for the new CP bullets to tap the freshly-installed Patriot heads, bending valves in cylinder six and killing compression shortly after firing up the motor and getting it dialed-in. They had checked for valve clearance during the build, but the pistons were too tight to the combustion chamber and still made contact while running. This meant a last-millisecond long-block swap with a 5.3, giving Datzen a functional heart for their odyssey.

They were able to slam it together in the days leading up to the tour, but like any project, there were teething issues. “I was at Texas Motor speedway doing a job, so I couldn’t leave until the races were done. Aaron picked me up at the speedway, left Roxy there, and we headed out,” Emily recalled. “The build was messed up, like the alternator wasn’t charging. So we ended up stopping the car in a parking lot. I jumped in Roxy and got another alternator. I had to go to South Dallas to the only 24-hour Auto Zone!” With a healthy 14 volts coursing through Datzen’s wired veins, they were able to cannonball it 18 hours to Kansas City, MS for the start of last year’s Power Tour.

Aaron continued, “I’ll never forget when we actually rolled in to the hotel, I think it was like 10:30 at night, and we finally made it to a place where we could rest — albeit it was a few hours until we got up and went to the next venue — but I mean it was a year of dreaming and then a couple months of just complete thrashing and we rolled in there, set our chairs out, had a few beers and it was just like, ‘Okay, we’ve made it to this point. Anything that goes wrong beyond now is manageable, we can make it to the next venue.’ And that was huge.”

American Racing drilled a custom bolt pattern into their VF-502s for this project, and you can now find a Datsun fitment in the catalog. The stance is locked-in with 18x8s up front, and 18x10s in the rear.

Indeed, it made it the next stop in Newton, IA; then it made it to Davenport, IL, and to every day of the 2017 Tour with the worries behind it. Slowly, the stress of that last minute thrash burned away like fuel in their tank as they made their way to Bowling Green, KY. In fact, one of the few worries left was just over how people would react to a Datsun at Power Tour. Our arms are open to imports, but the event is largely dominated by Detroit-bleeding hot rodders, and the duo weren’t sure what to expect. “People freaking loved it! Everybody had a story. Either they had a Datsun or they had a car that always got beat by a Datsun,” Emily said. “We all have opinions about different people’s style and how they mod stuff, but when it comes down to it, we’re just all gearheads and that was the coolest feeling — to feel so appreciated for our hard work.”

Building a YouTube channel has grown from hobbies to full-time gigs for many, but what’s been beautiful about this era of programming is it allows many niches of the automotive culture to find a home. With their humble roots, Aaron and Emily chose to focus on their channel on attainable, home-built projects. “It doesn’t make sense to only promote $8,000 superchargers,” Aaron mentioned. “Because what Emily and I want is for you to go and work on your stuff and enjoy it, and have adventures. So it only makes sense to direct people in a way that they can afford and enjoy it.” In essence, it was a response to the shows didn’t have the garage-built hot rod in mind, where money is socked over months and years to grab a carefully-selected list of parts that aren’t just set by dreams of horsepower, but also a realistic budget.

This git-er-done attitude eventually caught the Velocity Channel’s attention with Live, Laugh, Wrench, Emily and Aaron’s upcoming TV show. While they might’ve had to change shops, the home-grown philosophy of the Flyin’ Sparks Garage back in Texas is kept as they tackle new builds and carry their persistent spirit. “Rod Rutledge is a friend of ours who died on a motorcycle, but we met years earlier on Power Tour. He basically taught me how to not worry about life. Just roll with the punches, it doesn’t have to be right,” Aaron explained. “Enjoy the process of life and don’t be so uptight about it. It’s changed me, if you met me 10 years ago you would not want to hang out with me because I was just so worried about all the details and what people think. He taught me that even if everything’s going wrong, laugh and just have fun.”

Emily went on to explain it a little further, recalling the first time she built an engine with Aaron. Back then as teenagers, they were rebuilding the engine of her family’s F-150. Aaron had her building the other half of its V8 to learn, working through each step together in torquing down the heads and valvetrain. As the parts on the table dwindled, she could tell things were about to wrap up and nervously asked Aaron to check her work. “And he was like, ‘No, you need to feel the feeling. If you mess something up, you need to feel that feeling,’” she recited. “‘And if you did it all right, you need to feel that feeling. If I check your work, you won’t have any feelings. You know when this engine cranks up and it runs great, you will own that.’ I didn’t know any other girls who were doing that.”

Really, it’s that infectious persistence that’s at the heart of Datzen, and everything they’ve built on screen. Regular viewers of their show will remember that Datzen was named in spirit of The Zen and Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Robert M. Pirsig’s introspective look at the human condition from the perch of a Honda CB77. “It’s the sides of the mountain which sustain life, not the top,” he once wrote.

“Say a girl wants to get into cars ,and she doesn’t really know where to start — her power steering’s making a crazy noise. She could go get a basic tool kit, research online, and she can have the most amazing experience overcoming something,” Emily reinforced. “But if people have too much judgment about the results or about having to ask people for help, someone could totally be debilitated. I know it’s not always easy, but you have to look at the big picture and think that there’s a goal here and it’s going to feel really cool on the other side of it. There might be a lot of mountains to climb to get to the peak of that one that I’m looking at… but it’s worth it.”

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