#i had 2 take a break from what i was working on bc i was a little overambitious...

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

sad alisa head canons

@lafallenange requested this earlier this week so here it is. they asked for either sad alisa hcs or alisanash hcs, but i already did the alisanash ones here so i'm doing the other one. i mentioned in another post that i would start making slightly shorter posts so that 1. i can get through them quicker and 2. i don't lose motivation very quickly so from now on they might not be as long (i don't know why i'm explaining this but for some reason i feel the need to). hope you like them <3.

like grayson, her coping mechanism is to overwork herself. she'll still be in her office at like 1am trying to finish her work crying bc she's so exhausted. when she was still with nash, he used to pick her up and bring them to her room which now saddens her when she thinks about it.

she's a huge nail biter. her nails and cuticles are usually red, dry, and bleeding.

she was diagnosed with clinical depression when she was younger and takes anti-depressants for it.

her mom died when she was young (just like avery) (i may have read that one in a fic). her dad was always working, and so, when she would be in need of comfort, she would sit down on the floor hugging herself, rocking back and forth (she does this bc when she was younger, her mom used to sit down on a rocking chair holding her and kissing her head when she was sad)

she always has scars on her palms from clenching her fists too tight and digging her nails into them when she gets mad at herself/anxious.

when she finds herself thinking about nash, she smashes her head against the wall to try to get him out of her head.

ever since her break up with nash, she's convinced she's unworthy of love. the one person who literally loves everyone couldn't love her (this is what she thinks) and that makes her hate herself

speaking of her break up, she's convinced she's the problem. she's always thinking back to the moment where they decided to end it trying to figure out what she could have done differently for him to have stayed with her.

she has ended up in the hospital before due to malnutrition. she gets so invested in her work she forgets to eat and ends up fainting.

one of the reasons why she's always overworking herself is bc, when she was younger, her father used to tell her she wasn't trying hard enough/wasn't good enough, etc, and, even after all of these years, she still feels the need to please him/prove him wrong.

she's also a very huge lip biter. whenever she gets anxious, she bites her lips until they bleed. nash used to kiss her to stop her, but, now that they're not together anymore, it gets really bad. so bad it hurts to talk bc her lips are so dry and stuff.

earlier i mentioned that alisa's mom died, just like avery's. i also think that alisa and avery are similar in some ways and i think that alisa would think so too. bc of this, she wants what's best for avery (bc she didn't) which is one of the reasons why she holes herself up in her office to work.

she didn't receive much affection growing up bc her mom died and her father was always working so she doesn't really know how to show people affection (she does try though).

i mentioned earlier that she was diagnosed with depression. when she was younger, it was so bad she wouldn't be able to get out of bed to do something like brushing her teeth. her father would get piss mad at her which made her feel even worse and wonder if he'd be better off without her.

over the years, she's become an expert at silent crying bc, when she was still a child living with her dad, he used to get somewhat annoyed when he heard her crying bc according to him he had 'better things to do'. he would take care of her and make sure she was okay, but alisa knew he didn't really want to be there. she decided it was best if she tried to hide her feelings.

she gets really surprised/doesn't really know what to do when people hug her bc she isn't used to it at all (receiving affection).

she refuses to see a therapist bc she thinks that working is a better way to spend her time. she would rather help avery and the others than help herself.

she's just like avery when she does this (although she doesn't know this obviously), but, to her, crying in the shower doesn't count as crying so thats where she now cries.

she doesn't really have friends bc she has no idea how to talk to people without sounding rude or too professional. she's very socially awkward when it comes to making friends and stuff, but she's very good in court.

alisa used to be very close with xander, jamie, and gray, but, ever since her break up with nash, she started distancing herself from them bc being around them sometimes reminds her that they could've been her brothers in law and it hurts her (@ariscats)

we don't really know much about alisa so i didn't have many ideas, but i still hope this was too your liking. thank you for reading <3.

[hajihiko]

Thunderclouds 🌩

[dreamlogic]

2024 year of charlie gets a fucking break (hopefully. maybe. tbd.)

[britneyshakespeare]

I have to be so honest and vulnerable with you for a second. I keep thinking of getting another complete works of Shakespeare

[orcelito]

ok SO i went and got out Most of my knives (i remembered I have a nonbinary knife only after i took the photos & also idk where it is currently. just imagine all these plus a nonbinary flag knife ok? ok)

HERE ^ is the most of them, minus that nonbinary knife. look at that fuckin mess. 32 shown here (i think) plus my nonbinary knife makes 33 blades (minus cooking knives, i dont count those for these purposes)(also counting the swiss army knife as only 1 bc lol)

& some explanations for them! gonna put these under a readmore bc it got Kinda long on accident whoops. Read Ahead if u wanna see me nerd out about my knife collection.

STARTING WITH my big ones.

my spear (gifted to me), my cane sword (from anime convention), my shitty $20 sword (also from anime convention. low quality but cool as hell), my teal mini sword + matching throwing knives (from online), my decorative axe (from a local store), my twin blades (my sharpest blades, theyre actually kinda scary how sharp they are, but i love them bc of it. from online), red saber (from online),

ANDDDDDDDDDDDD my favorite hefty bitch of a machete that i sleep with in my bed frame on the very right (inherited from my grandpa bc i was the first one who spotted it at Family Claiming Day)(this thing really is as long as my leg & much heavier than Any of the rest of the blades pictured here. i love it)

another view of the blades so u can better see how long they are. the big boys. they're lovely. 2nd heaviest blade is the cane sword when it's in its cane, mostly bc that handle has some Heft. tbh id feel safer using it as a bludgeoning weapon than a stabbing weapon, but having a cane sword is just plain cool

AND my smaller blades!

i have a lot of pocket knives. starting from the top left: golden pocket knife (from online), rainbow dragon (from online), rainbow HEFTY boy (heaviest pocket knife, from online), spider knife (from online), stiletto jade (from online), pathetic army boy (from local store, this knife has NO redeeming qualities, but it's mine <3), black stiletto (from local store), plain dagger man (from online), my damascus steel knife (was a gift, probably my singular most expensive knife. fancy boy), Dull Dagger Man (first blade i ever bought, from anime convention)

& for bottom row: teeny black knife (first pocket knife i owned, gift from my dad), lil rainbow knife (from local store), plain steel knife (from sketchy shop in gatlinburg + one of my Favorite knives), green dragon knife (from online, a real beaut), triple throwing knives (also from same sketchy shop in gatlinburg), the baby throwing knives again from the Big Boys pic but i included them again bc they r so teeny tiny, my keychain key blade (from online), swiss army knife (from online), & the pair of claw keychain baldes (from online)

many blades, many stories, so little time. theyre great tho.

SOME FOCUSES:

^ these are all my spring-assisted knives, sorted from worst feel to best feel to open. based on quickness, ease, & general satisfaction. leftmost is leftmost bc i didnt even Know it was spring assisted, bc it doesnt have a nice lil tab on the back to press. no u gotta press on one of the rungs. but once u do it Does spring open, so i included it. next 3 are just Average in feel (these 3 are sibling blades anyways, nice of them to be together). jade stiletto is smooth and quick, nice to open. Hefty Boy rainbow has some THUNK to it when i open it. like that babey's got PURPOSE to it. added to the general size of it & it's just pretty great. AND THEN MY TWO FAVS, green dragon is a perfect beautiful knife & feels very great to open. and then Steel Sketchy Knife aka my 2nd pocket knife & first i bought for myself. it looks plain in comparison to the others, but she's anything But. quick, light, Sharp. it has the Best feel to open, bc it's just a fast SHHK. probably my knife that's seen the most use (aside from my small black knife) just bc of how great it feels to open. i love that knife so much for Real.

& the final highlight, somewhat related, are the knives I actually use the most in my daily life!

on the left are the knives I keep in my bag by default, & thus the ones I carry with me Everywhere i go. small black pocket knife bc she's Ol' Faithful, & a pretty lowkey knife for basic tasks when I dont wanna raise any eyebrows lol. silver knife bc as previously stated i Love using it so much. i take it out when i gotta breakdown a lot of boxes at work, & it Never disappoints. small rainbow keychain key knife bc it's cute & i like to keep it on my keychain. & swiss army knife bc Obviously im gonna keep the swiss army knife in my bag for if i need an emergency tool.

on the right are the three knives I keep out in my apartment. black stiletto lives on my bathroom counter, for bathroom knife needs. green stiletto i keep on my table next to where I hang out in my bedroom, for any couch time needs. & then green dragon beaut camps out on top of some shelves by my front door bc it's Great for opening boxes, aka something I will do for packages I receive after pulling them in the front door. it works for me.

all the rest of my knives live either in a box (for small ones) or my closet (for big ones). i may have a lot of knives, but somehow I never feel like i have enough. i just love collecting them so much <3

[yotd2009]

it's soooo fucked to think about how everything that's ever happened in your life is connected, no matter how mundane. what do you Mean my 5th grade teacher's seating arrangement is the reason i lived past the age of 13

[pepprs]

not doing good. at all

[robin-prints]

🐠

[florida3exclamationpoints]

.

[ironmanstan]

So much work to do but im actually doing it which scares me more than the fact i have work to do and u can tell bc i keep fucking posting like this

[nomaishuttle]

got 2 the end of the glass desert got caseys last starmail screammsss

[exopelagic]

okay I got some thoughts just putting these here

[be-good-to-bugs]

i need to draw more or my brain will explode. i was going to draw a bunch yesterday but instead i played power wash simulator for 8 1/2 hours

[lux-astrorum]

update, the zit on my chin is back YET AGAIN so I get to try out the new extra strength microdart patches from zitsticka. in slightly better news, finally figured out what was causing my hip flexor pain from running and it was the FUCKING SHOES so I went out and got new ones which will be hopefully better for me

[opens-up-4-nobody]

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[givemethedamnflowers]

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