#i hate/love toxic (non-romantic/non-sexual) relationships cause there's so much to talk about

[ajatheoleander12]

Sure, therapist Nahida sounds nice. But have you thought about good coping mechanism Nahida and bad coping mechanism Wanderer healing together?

There's something nice about her giving it to him straight, without coddling him or trying to get a result from helping him or looking down at him like the other people in his past did. She still let him believe that she was doing it for her own benefit cause she knows that he feels guilt for his deeds and his feelings towards others and he wouldn't belive her if she claimed otherwise. She doesn't want to push him to far out of his comfort zone and she doesn't need him to believe that she's trying to help because she doesn't need the affirmation that she's a good person, she doesn't push her insecurities onto him. She tries to both encourage him to walk out of his comfort zone and establish bountries.

I really like the scene where she practicaly tells him: "You were a bad person and you did horrible things and you have to own up to the shitty things you've done."

She's also probably the only person in Teyvat that completely understands him. She was also deemed unworthy of the title of an Archon, she was also deemed too little and not enough for her caretakers at the time. She was also discarded by the people that were meant to assist her growth. She was also replaced with a "better" option. I am fully aware that they also share differences, but I believe those differences are meant to show us an alternate ending to either story. Nahida was never coddled, which lead to her having doubts about herself and trying to please others and resulted in her growing a little on her own. Wanderer grew dependent on his emotional bonds with the people that cared for him and ended up taking their loss too hard and stalling his growth. Nahida met the right people that helped her through a difficult time, both physicaly and emotionaly. Wanderer met Dottore, who manipulated him and made him worse. Dottore was an enabler to Wanderer and a bad influence. And that might be a stretch, but I believe that the meeting between Rukkhadevata and Nahida could have been the meeting between Wanderer and Makoto.

Idk, I could be wrong, but I don't like it when there's a singular interpretation of the relationship between two characters. I'm also not a fan of how we forcfully speedgrow Nahida and how the "baby" metaphore in Wanderer's lore is only ever used to say he's a shotacon or smth. I like the complexity of these characters too much to only have one opinion for them. I also like the idea that Nahida is also self-healing by helping Wanderer, who is kinda like a man-child at times.

[catboymitosis]

For the character ask: Caligura and/or Marina <3

Picking Marina cause I don't talk about her nearly enough <3 She was initally my favourite Termina character and she's still absolutely top 3 for me I absolutely adore her I'm kind of obsessed with her.

The interaction with her in the church basement talking about how her dad is better off dead and how much she hates him right after he may have shown her genuine kindness for the first time in her life? All her venting during that scene feels so brutually raw and real, check out how hard I can project my own daddy issues onto her-

I also love reading into her soul type and moonscorched form. Her changeling soul, the way the dark priest son version of herself was whisked away and swapped out for the girl version of herself. Then her feelings on that person she was supposed to be getting expanded on by cocoon where she'd tied and collared to the dark priest she's forced to bend over backwards to carry it and listen to what it tells her to do. The way she excaped her fate as a dark priest but her life is still bound to it augh so good, all of this then combined with her B ending where she's freed from all her family baggage and gets to properly explore her gender identity on her own terms not bound to anything makes me so happy :3

Marina is very shippable to me! Samarina toxic yuri, Marilevi t4t, Daanmarilevi grooming congaline, these go hard.

For non-romantic relationships I really want to dig my claws into her relationship with her mom. She forcefemmed her to save her because she loved her, she pushed unrealistic expectations of hyperfeminity onto her lest she not pass, she took her prepubescent daughter on an out of the country vacation to get her castrated. She is suffocating her and she's doing it all out of love and Marina loves her too but her death leaves her so much more free and happy. I need further exploration of Marina's mommy issues!!!

My NOTP would be Marina x Domek in an incesty way cause I'm projecting my own daddy issues onto their interactions so it just ends up being squicky for me;;

My headcanon for Marina is that she's the 3rd most likely playable funger character to have committed necrophilia (behind Enki and Daan) hear me out. When you fight her, even on the train before she's headed out to Prehevil, she uses flesh puppetry which requires severed limbs, meaning she brought severed arms with her. So she's a sexually frustrated teenage girl in a magic boarding school where she can't experiment without being outed who has severed arms in her possession that she can reanimate? I think she fucked herself with severed corpse arms that's my truth.

I don't think I'm gonna end up doing kinktober after all but one of the prompts was prostitution and I was gonna do Daarina for that.

I associate her with goats! Probably cause of the whole occultism but I often imagine her with horns and horizontally slit pupils.

[3d-wifey]

Toxic Headcanons

Pairing: Eijiro Kirishima x Reader, Tenya Iida x Reader, Shoto Todoroki x Reader, Denki Kaminari x Reader, Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Warnings: Nothing really, just some angst

A/N: It's been a while since I posted anything, sorry y'all.🤚🏾😓

Iida is a total prude — You knew this going into the relationship, in fact, you thought it was kind of cute. However, Iida proved to be exceedingly strict. Being his girlfriend made you exempt from some of his rules, but he never shied away from reprimanding you in front of others.

He would completely disapprove of you wearing anything that might be considered dishonorable. Shorts, dresses that end above the knee, shirts that show cleavage or your abdomen. Honestly, just anything that shows more skin than he considers necessary and he wouldn't hesitate to tell you.

No PDA — You want to hold his hand, he'll rip it away and lecture you about how it might make your fellow classmates uncomfortable. You kiss his cheek, he'll go bright red and shout about keeping such things in the privacy of your dorms. The fact that your boyfriend won't even touch you, even non-sexually, is a different type of embarrassment.

It honestly feels more like he's babysitting you than dating you. He'll find fault in everything you do. From your academic work to your hero studies, whatever you're doing could be done better.

"I understand that since we entered a relationship there are certain displays of affection that you would like to participate in. However, I refuse to partake in anything that might tarnish the Iida name. I would suggest you reevaluate your behavior. I would hate to chastise you in front of our peers again."

He's insecure — Normally, there'd be nothing wrong with having self-doubts or self-esteem issues, but Eijiro takes it to a new level. He hangs around people with pretty powerful quirks. Quirks that he believes are far more flashy and manly than his. Since he hangs out with these people, you hang out with these people. And that introduces another aspect to his insecurities.

If you spend time with literally anyone, he'll go on a rant about how he understands how much better they are than him and he'll accept it if you want to break up with him. Try to reassure him all you want, there's already a seed of doubt planted in his mind and the roots only grow. Trying to prove you love him gets exhausting.

He's Possessive — This builds off of his insecurity. He claims that he just wants to spend time with his girl, and the clinginess was cute in the beginning. But, then he started to ask all these questions. Where were you going? Who were you going with? When were you going? Did you like hanging out with them more than him? Why not just stay and cuddle in his dorm with him, babe? He's all you need anyway, right?

Again, it's kind of cute at the beginning, but once you realize he's the only friend you have left, it's too late.

He always guilt trips you — Whenever you argue (probably about him ending all of your friendships), Kiri never owns up to his part in it. At least, not in the way it counts. Once he sees that it's a serious disagreement, he'll start apologizing and talking down on himself. It'll get so bad that you have to comfort him even if he's in the wrong.

"I'm so sorry, babe. I'm a horrible boyfriend. You have every right to be mad at me, and I totally get it if you want to break up with me. Why would you ever want to stay with someone like me anyways? I have no right to call myself a hero, let alone a man."

Horrible Communication — This really shouldn't be surprising considering what kind of environment he grew up in. If he ever has any type of problem, you'll never know. It's not that he's actively trying to keep things from you, but he'll have no way of knowing that he should be sharing certain things with you. You'll go days without talking to each other; honestly, he could break a bone and you would probably be the last person to know.

He's manipulative — It comes down to the fact that Shoto is more like his father than he cares to admit. He has been bathed in constant attention since he was born, and that kind of undivided attention is something he'll want from you too. He knows he'll get his desired reaction from you if he just ignores you. It constantly makes you think you did something wrong. It has to be your fault, right? You'll try to make it up to him, unknowingly falling right into his trap. He's also not above using his past as an excuse. After hearing how he grew up, how could you stay mad at him?

He's oblivious — He's not stupid, obviously, but he'll fall short on some things you would think were common sense. You're gonna be held at arm's length, for starters. You would think being his girlfriend would make you two pretty close, but it'll feel like he confides in his friends more than you. He doesn't have a good example of what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like, so don't expect him to do anything romantic unless you tell him so. He also doesn't have a filter, meaning he's brutally honest. Don't be surprised if he hurts your feelings in his monotonous voice.

"I don't understand why you're upset. I'm sorry that you feel that way, but I wasn't really taught how to properly handle this situation. Could you forgive me?"

He somehow has a superiority and an inferiority complex — This will cause a huge power imbalance in your relationship. If he thinks your quirk is weaker than his, you'll never hear the end of it. He'll make little joking comments about you being "weaker", but there's a little venom behind them that makes you wonder if he actually thinks of you like that.

Belittling remarks here and there. If you ever get hurt in training or in a fight, he'll blame it on your quirk not being good enough to protect you. God forbid your quirk is stronger than his; he'll deny it to his last breath, but there will be a shadow of jealously that's always drifting over your relationship. He'll constantly challenge you to fights and you better not go easy on him or he'll think you're pitying him. He would kind of see you as more of a rival than a girlfriend and it'll be tiring toeing the line of stroking his ego and not coddling him.

He's pretty set in his ways — It might not seem like it, but Katsuki is very organized. He has a very set routine that he follows and if you want to date him, you'll have to squeeze your way in. He'll expect you to be accommodating towards his schedule and he isn't willing to meet you halfway. Getting him to try anything new is like pulling out teeth.

He's possessive — This obviously goes hand in hand with his arrogance and low self-esteem. He's smothering. Why hang around with other people when you can hang out with him? Why do you need space? You love him, don't you? If you really loved him, you wouldn't want to be apart from him.

He'll never like any of your friends. He's always finding something wrong with them or something about them that irritates him, and he isn't afraid to tell them that to their faces. It'll get to the point that your friends won't invite you to hang out if Bakugou's with you, and he's always with you.

"Tch, the hell are you crying for? You wouldn't be in this situation if you had just listened to me, idiot. What do you want extras like that for anyways? I'm all you need."

He doesn't take anything seriously — He's a total class clown and his sense of humor is one of the things that drew you to him, but this comes with a drawback. He's pretty insensitive, so he'll never think he's in the wrong, in any situation. He won't be taking your feelings into account. He's not the type of guy you would go to if you need a shoulder to cry on or if you want to be comforted, which is disappointing since that's kind of what partners do.

He'll crack jokes about you, which is fine at first, but he doesn't know where to draw the line. If you try to tell him that the jokes are getting out of hand he'll stop saying them in front of you, but you never said anything about saying them when you weren't there. He's also got a thing about taking about other girls with his friends despite dating you. If you tell him it hurts your feelings, he'll say you're just overreacting and it must be that time of the month again. You can throw out the idea of having any important conversations with him.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop. Are you happy now? I swear sometimes you can be such a drama queen, babe. You need to grow some thicker skin."

[rametarin]

I didn’t want to reblog another long post, so I’ll just say my own thing here.

Gatekeeping fandom is good, ackshully.

Especially since we have a certain pattern of person, call them, “SJWs” if you want, that deliberately creep into a fandom with their values and shamelessly, deliberately, use it as a platform. They CONSCIOUSLY do this. They DELIBERATELY do this.

And then they have the audacity to see false positives and imagine dog whistles everywhere of things outside THEIR orthodoxy in the fandom being -isms, or -gnies. Accusing the people already there of being “out of date” and “toxic”, when it’s neither toxic nor uninclusive- it just isn’t rearranging itself to accommodate Intersectional Feminism or giving Intersectional Feminists voluntary control over everything from how something works to how it’s defined.

That to them is tantamount to being Nazis. And that’s kind of how you can tell they’re the same sort of daft, disingenuous fucks that wrap up socialist or ancom shit in supposed social progress. And if they could they’re reshape EVERYTHING to match their sensibilities, because their sensibilities are, “our way or you die.”

If you spend enough time peeking through academic papers and colleges you even learn there’s a thing many of them do. Which is, “Queering,” characters on purpose, to make them unpalatable or untouchable to cis/het people. That’s culturally like raising a flag on something to annex it and landgrab it.

And if you say, “hands off, this character isn’t gay?” They pivot and declare you’re just a homophobe whom is afraid of change, tell other people that and then talk in the broad bruckstroke about, “society is really so homophobic/afraid of new ideas. :c”

These people don’t even want to be part of that fandom for the sake of being in the fandom. They just want it because they want the fandom to perpetuate their values and parrot their beliefs and spread it to everybody else that wants to participate in that fandom. Do you like this popular thing? Okay, you can have popular thing, but only if you hug this Courtney Love doll and buy it and pet it and love it as part of the package deal!

And as part and parcel of the demanding to not just define the fundamentals and parameters of a fandom, they also demand to reinterpret the history of said fandom based on how out of orthodoxy to their values they find it to their own beliefs. So, was the hobby primarily done by white men in the past? Then naturally they’ll automatically paint it with a broad brush and say, “this hobby was very unwelcoming to non-whites and women in the past because of icky homophobic and misogynistic men!” Regardless of how many authors were beloved by the fandom that were female, regardless of how many women were equal fandom members before- they weren’t the Intersectional Feminist types of fans, so clearly they were “closer to the Daughters of the Confederacy than real people,” right? That’s how that works, apparently.

So yes. We had a taste of this in the 90s, but the feminists/radfems at the time weren’t trying to infiltrate the fandom and take it over to be about feminism. They were shaming boys and other girls for liking the big booby comic book girls as sexist and objectification and trying to get comic fans to abandon comics in order to pressure the companies economically into changing.

“These comics are written and drawn by MEN! MAAAAALE GAAAAAAAAAZE!!! Sexualized girls are only okay when WOMEN are drawing them and writing them for the authenticity!” And there were not many women that either liked comic books or wanted to BE in them, so they’d maintain that impossible standard to try and coerce the boys to FIND women for the sake of having a woman on staff, just to assauge their, “icky boys aren’t allowed to do this without me declaring it wrong” qualm.

And true to form for Progressives, give an inch and within a short period of time they just want more, and declare what was offered before was just to mollify or patronize them. “Oh so women can tidy up and do the low work. Why no female CEOs in the company yet? Why not Editor in Chief?”

But the way the Intersectionals do it is new. Rather than just stay outside the fandom because “yuck it offends my sensibilities, it shouldn’t exist,” they try and appropriate the fandom and then contribute rules and policies for it.

We saw this in the years leading up to Gamergate. The Subverters infiltrated video game journos, got incestuous and buddy-buddy with both Triple A industry people and independent game creators and traded favors, financial, sexual and other, for good reviews. Folks like Anita Sarkesian trying to make a name for themselves by already being insiders and getting plugged by the conspirators to LOOK like she was anything more than a plant for that cause, using other peoples video game playing footage in her critique videos, styling herself a holistic “girl gamer” and waxing poetic about “those awful neckbearded dudebros questioning my gamer cred! Tch!”

And so that romantic boogyman became a thing that they perpetuated. “The gatekeeping, woman hating, manbaby Gamer.” Where they then added in racism and male chauvinism and traditionalism and transphobia because you know you can’t just leave it at “misogynist.” Not, “in this society.”

Gamers protesting and demanding that game journalist magazines state their relationships to the creators for full disclosure got them retaliating asymmetrically, though. The FBI investigated all those, “threatening and trolling social media messages” that supposedly got Zoe Quinn and Sarkesian to leave their houses, “for fear of an attack,” and they got nothing. A few of them were caught doxxing themselves on purpose on 4chan. Quinn herself being part of the SomethingAwful’s Crash Override forums, where they’d do shit like this to troll and harass people for fun. They KNOW how to false flag and make it look like a bunch of angry dudebros did it.

Statistically the number of harassing egg names was far lower than the messages either girl received that was NOT harassment or threats, merely replies they didn’t agree with or didn’t appreciate. And yet they still ran around screaming about “all those misogynistic dudebro gamers” that were “harassing and doxing them.” And that boogyman became the party line. That Gaming and Gamers were full of toxic, misogynistic, racist manbabies SOooOoOooOO intimidated by, “women finally in what they feel are THEIR spaces,” that they’d try to run them out.

That’s how they interpreted it and that’s how the history books they write will repeat it.

They try and make a great big public show about “entering this toxic space” to flip it and civilize it, but what they’re really trying to do is officially own it. As a fandom, as a space and as a culture. And that entails being able to say what goes, what’s acceptable and what’s not, and set the tone and culture for that space. Meaning, to be able to gatekeep the product.

Rather than just decry the product, they decide they’re just going to mutate the product by slow assimilation, until the product doesn’t even resemble the original product anymore. They do this shit with comic books, videogames, and now they’re working on doing it to beloeved novels and their fandoms. It’s like forcibly marrying them to terrible people, so you can never have a fandom WITHOUT those people in your space trying to insist their interpretations of things are original canon, ever again.

And the sickest part is, these people DO NOT stop at fiction. That’s why this shit is called Cultural Marxism. Because it’s not much different from the way communists and socialist guerillas act and operate when it comes to land, resources and industry. They take over public spaces and forums and use a combination of instittional corruption, terrorism and violence and vandalism in order to destroy or silence competition.

They’ve even infiltrated the Linux community and taken over most of that, via Linus Torvalds’ daughter. You can’t have ANYTHING around these people, because they just sit and wait and conspire to come in and make even a simple community mural to revolve around whatever social issue and specifically their philosophy’s take on it being THE only valid take on it that everybody else must now interact with, good or bad, but they can’t ignore it anymore.

This is, also, partially why they hate it when fandoms are gatekept by singularly powerful individuals. Like say, authors of their own works. They don’t like singular owners of enterprise and property, because it prevents the mob from taking them and then dictating TO the creator, “this is the PEOPLES property now. WE decide, as the most powerful clique, what is true and real with it and what isn’t.”

Because like what happened with Frank Oz of Jim Henson Studios. An activist gay writer declared that Bert and Ernie’s relationship was “canon gay,” because he wrote them as canon gay lovers. There was a great big information cascade as all these affiliated journo companies published articles about how “happy they were to see Sesame Street and the Children’s Television Workshop as representing LGBT people in public!”

Frank Oz spoke up, set the record straight, “These characters were made by me and a friend and were meant to depict a platonic male-male relationship. They aren’t gay but I’m glad you could identify with them.”

That poor old man caught so much shit. They called him a homophobe, said he was, “stealing Bert and Ernie from them,” that he should just shut up and “let people have this.”

No. Fucking no. These people are fucking conspirators, believe wholly in dominating and taking shit over by moving their people into a thing until they have the warm bodies and the institutional authority to crowd out oppositional voices, then have the audacity to SCREEEAAAAAAM bloody murder about the dangers of anybody else organizing to contest them because, “The Nazis are gathering to attack us poor innocent minorities!!” Counting on the ignorance and unsuspecting nature of people to not know such a thing is fake or the totality of the situation.

That’s why they’ll keep this shit on the downlow and call anybody that accuses them of doing shit like this a liar or a tinfoil hat wearing conspiracy theorist. Demanding evidence, in bad faith, knowing there’s little to no way to PROVE any of this UNTIL they’ve done it, and then declaring you to be invalid since you can’t prove the conspiracy.

Because if you can’t prove it with evidence, they’ll simply say you’re a Nazi trying to smear “good people.”

[battlestar-royco]

let’s talk about tropes

here’s a little (little?!) post on tropes, as promised!

some tropes i hate and why i hate them

love triangles: this one’s pretty simple and obvious. love triangles are unrealistic and toxic. they romanticize emotional cheating, and they cause nasty ship wars in fandoms, especially when two of the points in the triangle are women. often, the “losing” point of the triangle is a one-dimensional throwaway character who either gets killed off or accepts their fate and steps back for the “winner” to take over. this dynamic can get especially problematic when the “loser” is a woc and the “winner” is white, when the “loser” is an lgbtq+ character, and/or when the “loser” has no purpose other than to create drama for two other fleshed out characters. the character often ends up being hated for bad writing and “getting in the way” of the endgame ship. yikes. the only valid resolution to love triangles, imo, is a polyamorous relationship!!!

girl hate: it’s rare to see nice friendships and romances between women, and often this trope is used to drive an unnecessary wedge between two female characters who would have otherwise been great friends. i don’t mind when two women/girls are in conflict with one another for an interesting reason, but i absolutely hate when the conflict is based on something stereotypical and boring. the “girl hate” conflict is always based on something misogynistic, unrealistic, and/or stupid--like a man, looks, sexual practices, or a contrived competition. this is especially gross when the men in the story act as the voices of reason in the conflict, patronizing the women and teaching them how to be nice and use logic.

“strong female characters”: many writers mistake “strong” characters for characters who employ violence, sassiness, and masculine attributes to get what they want. I’m so over it. all I want is nuanced representation of women that doesn’t reduce them to a love interest or a sex object who looks down on other women. strength comes in many forms, and everyone defines it and identifies with it differently.

miscommunication: this has to be one of the laziest forms of prolonging drama, when two characters are fighting because of something that could easily be solved if they were locked in a room together for five minutes.

incest/incest-adjacent romances: this should go without saying, but we’re for some god-awful reason going through a period where incestuous relationships/fake-outs (ie, you’re in love with him? too bad he’s your brother. oh wait, it’s revealed that he’s not!/you two are blood related but you either never met or you went through a period of separation, so that means you can fall in love) are heavily romanticized or used to create extra drama, and it’s just unnecessary and not cute. i think authors use this to add some sort of edge or uniqueness to their writing, but it’s just so toxic and a complete turn-off for me.

aesthetic oppression: (term inspired by and similar to “aesthetic conflict,” thanks kat) when an author throws in some sort of oppression that is experienced by people in real life, but they either don’t address the oppression thoroughly or they only use it to add some sort of edge to their story and further a character’s romance, death, redemption arc, etc. for example, the homophobia in GOT season 6, which reduced loras to a walking stereotype of a gay man before he was subjugated by the church sept and blown up, and the patriarchy in ACOTAR that only exists to show how feminist rhysand is.

boys/men fighting, having tantrums, or expressing themselves through violence: it’s fine for male characters to fight every once in a while, but i just hate that this seems to be exclusively employed with male characters and it is used as a solution or reaction to problems when realistically, men are much more nuanced. men cry. they might be alone or in front of others. they might cry into their pillow or on a friend’s shoulder. fictional men add violence and anger to their sadness because the authors don’t want to emasculate them, but that’s a stupid goal and crying doesn’t affect someone’s gender. smashing your belongings when you are upset is unhealthy and potentially dangerous, and so is physically fighting others over trivial or patriarchal issues (ie a woman) when conversation could be/is probably much more compelling and effective. it’s important to show men that anger isn’t always the first emotion to feel under duress and that they don’t have to express their feelings by punching walls or throwing their belongings across the room. (also?! practically? YOU’RE RUINING YOUR OWN FUCKING STUFF AND/OR YOUR ROOMMATE/FRIEND/PARTNER’S STUFF, YOU ASSHOLE.)

sexy immortals: immortality can be used in clever and entertaining ways, but i feel like a lot of the immortals i’ve been seeing lately run in the same vein as the twilight vampires, which is to say: unearthly beautiful (aka conventionally attractive), overly sexy (aka stalking a love interest for the sake of “attraction”), apparently 16-25 years old (aka accessible to grown women who read/write ya).

uninvolved parents or non-existent guardian figures: sometimes young characters don’t have parents and that’s fine; some of my favorite books are about characters with one parent or no parents. but i still feel like we’re coming out of a period where it was very popular to kill off the parents (especially moms) at the beginning or before the story starts. i really want to see more exploration of characters with parents, or at least see the characters without parents make significant relationships with adults or react appropriately to the loss of their parents.

one-off character deaths: when a character enters one chapter or episode of a book/show just to immediately die for cheap emotional manipulation. this character is also sooooo often a marginalized person, and it’s super predictable and tired. try harder, author/screenwriter!

some tropes i love and why i love them

special snowflake/chosen one: I can’t explain it. I know it’s so cliche and one of the most hated ones out there, but I love when this trope is done right. I’m not a big fan of the chosen ones who have a special destiny, especially if the mc is a white boy, because that’s been done a million times before. but I’m a sucker for that one character who comes upon an unexpected special ability/object/creature or connection to a force of good/evil/nature and has to contend with that. They’ve been Chosen and they’re completely unprepared, and it’s gonna change their life trajectory and relationships and maybe even political climate.

woobies!!!: I feel like this trope is so underrated and it’s one of my favorites of all time. I absolutely love rooting for that one character who’s too good for any of the shit they’ve been through and Deserves Better^TM, but they manage to survive and grow against all odds.

found family: i love that authors are expanding the concept of family and unconventional narratives about love. the found family trope is so charming and relatable to many readers, and it’s great to see seemingly contrary characters come together to find a loving home together that isn’t necessarily romantic.

soft characters: it’s rare (though increasingly less rare, fortunately) to find soft boys, aka male characters who are compassionate, funny, kind, pensive, and/or quiet instead of brash, loud, violent, and angry. i know so many boys and men who fall all along the spectrum of masculinity, and it would be great to see more characters who represent that, especially because male characters are typically forced to express their masculinity in one way. i also absolutely love seeing women being equally as soft and kind--with the exception of ASOIAF!sansa, i feel like this kind of character has been cast aside for the sassy, rebellious, empowered^TM female character who isn’t like other girls and wields a bunch of weapons. i’d really like to see more female characters whose strengths come from empathy, intelligence, and emotion.

unique relationships within a friend group/ensemble: this one is marginally related to my love of found families. not only do i really like tight, strong friend groups, but i also like when each of the friends within that group has a different and compelling dynamic (hostile, romantic, friendly, tragic, whatever may have you) that can carry a scene or an arc. unique relationships between all the characters in an ensemble adds so much dimensionality to a story.

complex guardian figures: this mostly applies to ya, but i think it can also be said for many adult books and tv shows. adult characters often get flattened or sidelined for romance or action plots when in reality almost everyone has parent/guardian relationships, and these relationships are the source of so much complexity. that complexity may mean love, found family, anger, patronization, manipulation, and more, and all these things will be expressed differently based on the characters in question. for example, look at the difference between eleven and hopper from stranger things and harry and dumbledore from harry potter. hopper and dumbledore are so different and each of them carry darkness and baggage that comes out on the kids for better and worse. bonus points if the guardian is a woman, because these types of relationships between girls and women are relatively rare to the ones between boys and men.

anti-heroes/anti-villains: i think this is another one that goes without explaining. we’re all the hero of our own story, after all. if an author can successfully convince me to root for a character who i know is wrong but believes they’re in the right, or for a character who does the wrong things for the right reasons, there’s a good chance that i think very highly of that author.

stoic, bitter, angry characters: if there’s one character in the ensemble who has any of these traits, there’s a good chance they’ll be my favorite, especially if that character is a woman. usually this character’s journey is about what makes them vulnerable and how they become close with the most unlikely companions or form a special relationship with a foil character. it makes the audience feel like we’re being let in on a secret, specifically about that character.

and that’s about it! my inbox is always open to talk more in depth about any of these and more, so let me know. thanks so much for 700, you all are great :D

[kweebtrash]

Messy (NCT) Masterlist-Completed

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny 

Features Full Sex Scenes/Implied Sex Scenes with: Johnny, Lucas, Taeil, Yuta, Ten, Taeyong

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: drugs, alcohol, anxiety, night terrors, sexual assault (not in explicit detail; Ch 5),use of the word rape, descriptions of sexual assault, toxic “relationships”, “controlling behavior” (Non consensual), physical/emotional abuse, physiological self harm/unhealthy coping mechanisms, severe depression, anger issues, minimal violence, beginnings of codependency, jealousy, talks of death and suicide, description of panic attacks, aggression, intimidation, mental illnesses/self deprivation, lots of crying and feelings of guilt

Features:  multiple sex partners, public sex, kink scenes, fingering, blowjobs, anal fingering/mentions of buttplug usage, rough sex, threesomes FMF, choking, overstimulation, edging, daddy/princess kink, Mommy/prince kink, hair pulling, scratching/biting, spanking, unprotected and protected sex, creampie, sex toy usage, cockwarming, bondage, multiple orgasms, cumshot, slow/romantic sex, sad sex, gentle thrusting, body worship, thigh high fetish, heavy make out sessions/tongue sucking, riding, doggy style, sex in public places, a bit of deep throating, 

Chapters (Subject to Change)

1. Messy (M)- Lucas/Johnny

2. Or Nah (M) - Lucas/Johnny

3. Do It Well (M) - Johnny/Ten

4. Feels Right (M) - Taeil/Johnny

5. Alive (M) - Lucas/Yuta/Johnny

6. Can I Love Like This? (M)- Johnny

7. Just Say Goodnight And Go (M)- (mentions of Taeyong)/ Johnny

8. Eres Mia (M) - Johnny

9. Crawling (M) - Johnny

10. Duality (M) -Johnny

11. Love is (Not) Easy (M) -Johnny

12. Cupid’s Chokehold (M) -Johnny

After Story: hate u love u (M) -Johnny

After Story 2: Tidal Wave (M) -Johnny

Bonuses:

Kinky Headcanons For Messy

Ask the Muse Game

Messy Tag-Updates, Q&A, Games

Messy Question Masterlist

Fetish/Kink Game

Time Stamp Drabbles Masterlist

Eri’s Instagram Posts [1] [2]

Johnny’s Instagram [1]

JnEri Instagram Couple Posts [Slutty] [Cute]

JnEri Thirst Snaps

Messy Playlist/Lyrics:

1. Messy-Kiiara

“ Last stop before it gets messy/last stop before it gets heavy/it’s not too late to say you never met me/Let’s stop before it gets messy”

2. Or Nah (Remix)- Ty Dolla Sign ft. The Wkend

“Can you lick the tip then throat the dick or nah?/Can you let me stretch that pussy out or nah?”

3. Do It Well- dvsn

“And you tell me just lay back while you go to work...you’re the only therapy I know.”

4. Feels Right- Alina Baraz

“Don’t know what I’m doing but it feels right...tryna keep it going cause it feels nice..if you wanna stay here we’ll call it paradise.”

5. Alive- Alextbh

“I know I shouldn't fall for you/But who gives a shit/About what people think... Let me love ya/Bring your body close to mine/Hold me and just/Breathe me and make me alive.”

6. Orion’s Belt- Sabrina Claudio

“I know that you're not used to this/Boy will you let me teach you/your mind is asking for my love/And you just need to hear it .”

7. goodnight n go- Ariana Grande

“Oh, why'd you have to be so cute?/It's impossible to ignore you, ah/Why must you make me laugh so much?/It's bad enough we get along so well/Just say goodnight and go”

8. MIA- Bad Bunny Ft. Drake

“Dile que tú eres mía, mía/Tú sabe' que eres mía, mía/Tú misma lo decías ... A nosotros ni la muerte nos va a separar (nah)/Bebé, yo soy tuyo na' más (na' más)/Diles que conmigo te vas (¡wouh!)/Que dejen de tirarte (prr)/Que a ti nadie va a tocarte”

9.Crawling- Bullet For My Valentine

“I can't cope, now I'm down on my knees/I'm crawling, crawling/I meltdown as everything around is falling, falling... Under this pressure/I want to dissapear... So overwhelming/It's bearing down on me/And when it ends all this weight is crushing me..”

10. Synthetic Love- Motionless in White

“I want to hurt you/I don't deserve you/...submit and fuck until we overdose/...Swallow the pain, relive and fuck until we feel like new/...I wrap my hand's around your throat/Bury your face, remove all your clothes/We're both just slaves that can't refuse/And everything that we have loved in the end we will lose”

11. Love is (Not) Easy- Chase Atlantic

“I replicate emotion/Medicate in doses that can help me feel the same way/It's easier to say we're just friends/Our generation made us that way/The type of friends who fuck/But when they fall in love they're too afraid to stay.”

12. Cupid’s Chokehold -Gym Class Hereos

She's got a smile that would make the most senile Annoying old man bite his tongue (I'm not done) /She's got eyes comparable to sunrise And it doesn't stop there (Man I swear)/ She's got porcelain chocolate skin, of course, she's a ten And now she's even got her own song (but movin' on)/ She's got the cutest laugh I ever heard And we can be on the phone for three hours (not sayin' one word) /And I would still cherish every moment /And when I start to build my future, she's the main component /Call it dumb, call it luck, call it love or whatever you call it but /Everywhere I go, I keep her picture in my wallet like here

[gxrdenofoblivion-blog]

Gxrden of Rules

Hello there! My name is Nina. As I said in my bio, I'm a 22 years old girl. I'm glad you're here reading this, and I hope we can know each other best in the future if you like my blog and decide to follow me.

Note: I am dyslexic and English isn't my first language, so please if I make a mistake or something's hard to understand, please let me know as politely as you can. Thank you.

For our future partnership to work, I would like you to read all the rules. If you have any questions or doubts before you read, without any fear you can send me an ask {here} with your issue. I don't bite.

My track tag is gxrdenofoblivion. Without empty spaces nor anything else, and that exact tag is the only one I'm gonna be checking any time I can. If I haven't left a reply after a week, but you see I'm still replying other stuff nor I'm on Hiatus, please let me know I haven't. We are all aware of the mess that Tumblr has always had where we can lose from drafts to tags, so please, without hesitation (and politely), if a week passes and you don't get a reply, send me a reminder.

Zero anon hate. Yeah, I know many of you think this rule is silly, but there's people who doesn't respect it at all. Any anon hate that I could receive is going to be answered with extreme sarcasm, or deleted on plain sight. I can't stand hate nor people who sends anon hate, and if you spend your time making call outs against anyone all the time, right or not, I'm going to unfollow you. I don't like polemics, I dislike drama, and this is a space for fun, not for hate and fights. I'm Switzerland, I've always have been, and I will keep it that way.

I reserve for myself the right for followbacks and getting magic anons. Usually I'm pretty laid back with this. I just give you a followback if I like your writing, and if you tag your stuff properly. Nothing fancy. About magic anons, you can send as many as you like, but there's a chance some of them will make me too lazy to do anything if it's for an exaggerated amount of time (like a month off rol), or if it's just something I strongly dislike (mpreg, and omegaverse).

My blog is NSFW so if you wanna request some of these stuff or send some memes (anon or not), do it. I like when people asks my muses about those stuff, both sexual or violent. Now, if the question is for me, it's possible that I may or not answer some of them. Everything depends on my mood and if I think it is a good idea or not to reply.

Emphasis: I have zero issue with replying and/or role-playing any sexual question, as well as it isn't related to mpreg, omegaverse, coprophagy (feces), zoophilia (animals), pedophilia (children), urophilia (piss), spitting (saliva), fisting (fists at... well), and nechrophilia (dead people). You can ask mine or my muses opinion about it, but I'm not going to play, ever, any of those things sexually. With gore and violence I'm way more open since where I draw the line is that I don't do threads roleplaying scenes of rape or murder without without an EXPLICIT consent from my roleplay partner.

Please, respect me. I will respect you as much as you respect me. If you come entitled in here with an attitude to make some exigencies or complaints, I will immediately unfollow or ignore you. I need you to respect my decision if I don't want to roleplay a ship with you, if I don't want to play certain character, and SPECIALLY to respect my NOTPs. You can ask for some explanations, but you can't make any exigency, nor disrespect me.

Emphasis: I really need you to respect my NOTPs. They are labeled as such specifically because I hate or dislike them, and usually this is due to a toxic fandom, because I think the ship is completely nonsense, or I strongly hate one of those characters. I don't play NOTPs as romantic ships, just as violent threads, or friends. I don't do any exceptions for anyone. But you can ask if I would like to roleplay with you anything related to the NOTP, as good as it isn't a romantic shipping.

About Gore, spooky stuff, and Smut: I do the three of them and I like to read them as much as to write them. But to avoid any issues, I ALWAYS am going to use the tags {gxrden of ultraviolence}, {gxrden of nightmares}, and {gxrden of pleasure}. That way you can block those tags and have a nice day without ugly nor sexy stuff. All the spooky stuff I usually tend to write it without images, but in the weird case I decide to put any spooky pics, I would put it under Read More. In any case you see I have a post about this things untagged or without the Read More thingy, you're free to ask me nicely to tag it or activate the Read More, because I'd probably forgot, or Tumblr broke something again.

Clarifying:  all tags and Read More is going to be applied with my criteria of what I consider violent or nsfw. Not yours. If a thread makes you uncomfortable you can let me know and I’ll put on it a special tag for you to block it, but I can’t be aware of everyone’s triggers and also keep my partners happy. The best I can do is offering you a special tag.

I don't mind my threads to be read or shared. As well as I don't mind people making comments about it, sending me messages, or even adding their characters on it. But I think the right thing to do and the best way to go if you want to reply a thread with me and someone else, is to send us a message notifying us you'd like to join, so we can go and let and open window for you to sneak in.

I receive gladly, anons, magic anons, and memes from non-mutuals. I understand of you don't want to roleplay with me, but if you wanna know some things more about me or my muse, you can feel free to ask without charges.

If I follow you, no one forces you to followback me. This is self-explanatory. But if you do want to, it's highly appreciated.

My followback is just and exclusively because I assume that if you follow me it is because you have the intention of roleplay with me, or at least of send me stuff to my ask. I'm not gonna tolerate people using me as meme blog without sending me anything ever, nor I'm going to tolerate people who follows me just to ignore me every time une of us does an open thread. I'd rather have 4 followers, play with 3, and receive only asks from one, than have 100 and play with 4. I strongly dislike ghost followers.

I reserve for myself the right of giving my followback (or not). I just give my followback to accounts that catch my attention, don’t take it personal if I don’t follow you, it’s probably that your blog it’s hard to read, your narrative is confuse, or the characters too OOC for my taste and standards, or I just don’t see anything interesting for me. That doesn’t mean under any circumstances that your blog is bad or you suck at roleplay, that just means I don’t see anything accord for my tastes.

My Followback also can be lost if I see that a month has passed since we followed eachother (being me or not the first on following), if I have sent you asks, gave my like to Starter Calls, etc, and you have been uncapable of reply anything, I will stop following you because I will assume there is no interest. I don’t block anyone, so we can talk about it and discuss if you see I don’t follow you anymore, as long as we speak with mutual respect and understanding. I’m a really pragmatic and kind person, usually, but I tend to react very badly to disrespectful people because my patience to wait for threads is very big, but to speak with brats is less than zero, if that can exist. This is just for ex mutuals. Blogs I’ve never followed can talk to me and I could give them my reasons, just if I feel like it.  As well as I feel like nobody owns me explanations, I don’t own any explanations to anyone for the decisions I make.

I reply through my phone, so I can’t use Read More feature and there’s stuff that’s really complicated for me such as moving asks to a new thread. I will put under Read More or reply asks at new threads only if your rules specify it, but that means I’m going to take a lot more of time because I don’t have a computer for myself only. That being said, if you want to move one of my asks to a new thread, you don’t need to ask me, do it without problems if it’s easier for you that way. 

My muses are Multiship and Multiverse. If you wish me to have an exclusive ship or an specific AU with you, just let me know. I’m pretty easygoing with that issue so it’s really rare if I say no to something (with the exceptions I said before).

About asks of any kind, included anons: if you don’t specify a muse without even context of a fandom, I’ll choose anyone randomly, and that always include my OCs.  I do love my OCs and I love wrinting about them, and I’m not going to hold them back just cause. If you want a specific muse or certain specific interaction, at least give me a situational context to whom you would refer to; for example if there’s a thread where muse X kisses muse Y in a hallway, you can send an ask saying “I know where you kissed Y” and I’ll know a bit more clearly who are you refering to.

My blog is openly crossover, AU, and OC friendly. So I don’t need both muses to share fandoms to roleplay, nor I care if you want to throw me one of your OC to reply something, just leave me a message at the tags giving me their principal characteristics and that’ll be enough, if you send me via IM their profile, even better. I love well made OCs and I like to receive them with love. That also means I do OC x Canon relationships, but I need first to know everything about your character, and make a few tests in some threads to see if they have enough chemistry; and if you want any of my OCs to your canon, I’ll do the same.

You can choose if you play with just one of my muses exclusively, or if you play with all of them, but you must notify first. If you don’t, I’ll send you asks to interact with other characters if I think we can make something interesting, so if you do want to interact with only one of my muses, or just with the ones at an specific fandom, you have to let me know.

I have a lot of patience, so don’t mind if you take your time. I tend to reply really fast unless I have no free time or I feel badly. So as I respect you to taking a long time, I hope to receive the same respect for me and my fast replies most of the time or taking a lot depending of my situation.

So far, this would be all. I reserve for myself the right to add and/or edit rules as the time goes by, with its rightful notification. If you wanna know if I made any change, look at the tag {gxrden rules}.

Thanks for your attention and have a nice day!

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Was Feeling Bad Little Bit Ago, But Starting To Feel Better Now

I had started to feel bad a little bit ago, ended up crying too...

it is just some stuff that got to me.

one of them to which I don’t want to talk about.

but I will say this, if it takes me longer to do something it can be because of how I feel or like I need more time and have to put those plans on hiatus.

I had felt bad before I signed on by the way, I was doing pretty okay today but then I started to get certain thoughts....dark thoughts.

I think checking out a new post on here and reading a reply to a question I asked and listening to ADDICT from Hazbin Hotel Music Video,

has helped me feel more better.

still feel a little sad but still doing better.

and the reason why I had started to feel bad is because of realizing of a possibility that has to do with misunderstanding and well like I said I don’t want to talk about it and the little ya all know the better.

have you ever been made to feel like garbage?

if you try to stand up for yourself, you either only get your words twisted or like you end up being a doormat to unfair demands of how to “make up in a fight.”

or if you mention in a comment about how something about a character reminds you of something you love from a show, but then when it is taken the wrong way, you get blocked by that person, still hope for that misunderstanding can be worked out...I know the whole fight that happen a few years ago, and with how things were “resolved” can’t truly be fixed right now...

another thing that peeves me off, is that my feelings weren’t considered at all by some toxic-religious person.

I mean at least some people who are religious or atheist,

wouldn’t of made me feel as bad to the point to crying like that person.

so what if I believe in a Goddess and I see myself as being Gyno-Agender.

and they would of respect my differences,

even if they don’t have to agree with them.  

like I had said before, I had brought up how badly they were making me feel by the words they were saying towards me.

but even when I did say how bad it was making me feel they were all like

“may god have mercy on you.”

I’m pretty sure they either said god or lord...but I know what they were doing was wrong and it was just making me feel bad.

even after I had explained how it made me feel, they just couldn’t get it through their head and they even repeated it,

so I had no other choice but to block them.

when I tried to stand up for myself, I only got hurt.

but I know that there is still possibility of success in standing up for one’s self,

but there will only be that percent where you will fail in standing up for yourself.

 even a person who is normally nice can be pushed too far when their kindness is hurt and then the other side of them tries to defend it.

and I want to say this again, just because I asked my pendulum if my twin flame is Azrael and I got a “yes” for a answer, don’t make me a liar.

of course if I had my pendulum back a few years ago and asked if my twin flame was Azrael and if I brought it up with that whole me believing in the whole Divine Feminine and saying that I see myself as Female/Non-Binary.

that person would still do that whole misuse of words towards me.

so it might of been a good thing I didn’t decide to get a pendulum

when that went down.

I had asked my pendulum if mediation while listening to some music would be good for me, and I got a yes to that question.

I have been meaning to do that for a while now, but I think i will get around to it after I watch some shows and maybe even a movie.

 I think another thing that help me feel better

was eating some cheesecake with some strawberries on top.

well I think it is like strawberry jello?

comfort food never let’s ya down.

and I know this just came to me,

but what would it mean if twins flames are two different colors?

I mean I had found out from my pendulum that my soul is a violet color, not the violet-blue type but like along the whole still technically purple.

 and my mom has a red soul and my dad has a blue soul.

it is obvious they weren’t soulmates...

I think I should keep doing what I am doing, making sure to give myself solitude when it’s needed and when I can, I will talk with friends and even post some stuff and work on other stuff.

I may have mention this before, but I will say again that I am Aroaceflux.

well I had asked my pendulum about if I was Aroflux, because I was curious and I had got a yes and I knew I was Aceflux and well I had asked if ya know since I was Aceflux and Aroflux would that make me Aroaceflux, and I had got a yes.

I do wonder if there is a alternate name for “Pomo-sexual/romantic”

yeah that is part of my sexuality too, but with how some people are

they might think it is a misspelling and might not understand it.

      I think for me, I was transforming into a Aroaceflux or I could of always been that way and not know it.

we could see sexuality or even gender identity like flowers that haven’t yet blossomed or is still a flower bud.

it needs time to bloom and really look deeply inside itself

to see who they truly are. 

(and those doctors or parents who change a sex/gender of their own child without the child’s consent, should get their butts kicked....)  

speaking of flowers, I have been meaning to plant some new flowers.

have that to put into my to-do-list.

I think I should try my best not to let dark thoughts or some other stuff get to me too much...

and I hope some of you will agree that a child should have consent to if they want to be a other gender and or like the opposite sex to the one they were born biologically.

doctors or parents should not take that choice away, plus such a surgery should wait a few years or so because it wouldn’t be right to do it when a human is too young.

plus just because a baby ends up being born intersex, don’t mean ya got to “fix” them, if a person who is born intersex wishes to have a surgery or stay the way they are, it’s their choice.

  and even without changing babies through surgery.

there are even those that trick their own children into believing they were biologically born a boy or girl, and they don’t find out until someone brings it up.

such a dirty trick can cause a damage relationship between parent and child.

if your child feels like a boy or girl, or maybe even something of a neutral or whatever, maybe even being non-binary but with masculine or feminine

(once again the whole masculine and feminine

isn’t like the binary of female or male.)

then it should be their choice to be who they are on the inside, and they shouldn’t be tricked into by someone they trust.

 I also want to say that I hope some of you can understand

the reasons why I have Semi-Androphobia, Virgintiphobia

and being Semi-Misanthrope.

 it’s not like I hate all humankind, and me still having a love for humankind is the reason why I’m Semi-Misanthrope.

I know there can be some guys I can trust, but some not so much.

plus with the panic attack I had in 2015 when I was alone in the car, was brought on by being scared of being “hurt” and it does make sense that it might be linked to virgintiphobia and I believe it was that.

I still don’t like being left alone in the car, not even during the day.

being alone at home is fine, because ya can lock the doors and be safe.

(but I still locked the doors of the car when I am alone....still don’t like it though.)

 then there is that whole “corrective types”

  that is like doing more harm than good, even if ya call it “fixing”

it only causes trauma and a phobia of the opposite sex.

 anyway I wanted to talk about that I was letting some thoughts get to me too much, but I am doing much better now.

and I know some will think I’m lying about the whole Azrael being my twin flame...but like I said before I DON’T want to be called a liar when I didn’t even lie and I couldn’t help but get a yes answer to my question if they are my twin flame....it’s what I had asked my pendulum.

though I don’t think it would make me a Archeia...

even if my pendulum gives me a yes to that question...

 and says that I am....wait can Earth Angel/Twilight-Walkers even be Archeia?

  plus I might seem really confident 24/7 of all the time, but I haven’t been like that in I don’t know maybe since some bad stuff happen before...

but even if my confidence it’s 100% good, it is still pretty okay and I think that is good enough for me.

I mean 2015 was pretty bad for me, and it took me a few months during that time to get better, and even after becoming better I had figured out I was depressed, but then the next year after that was....like a not very good, it started out good but with everything that was going on and well, I want to try my best not to let it happen again.

if one little thing didn’t push me over the breaking point, I would of got better and not ended up with so much negative feelings that went through some stages and I didn’t get better from that until December 2017.

 I hate fights not getting resolved the right way or misunderstandings that go beyond the type that can be fixed and explained before it ends up hurting someone.

I had realized it is a bad thing to get someone back into a depression after they had got better from one, it can end up becoming much longer and having a far worse feeling.

I mean like I had said before, I had thoughts of wanting to punch the bathroom mirror when I felt so bad before I got better around December 2017.

but I didn’t punch the mirror, because I knew what would happen if I did.

I think after I watch some cartoons, I think I will play some Undertale and then after that I will do that whole meditation thing.

and I know some might not agree about the whole Chara being innocent and being a scapegoat to the player....

but there no way that “Chara” that the player sees at the Geno-Run, is the True-Chara.....

Chara is in the true lab at the very place where The Player/Frisk has to turn the power on for the elevator, being used as a power source for the underground.

 I still think that the Sans we see in Deltarune

is really a Undertale Sans from a Geno Route Timeline, and he escape that Alternate Universe and moved to the Deltarune Au’s Timeline with his younger brother.

he most likely did it when Frisk was still in the ruins or before Frisk fell to the underground, it be nice if he took Chara’s Soul and Flowey with him and Papyrus.

I also believe that it wasn’t Chara that got Asriel to agree to a plan that would just end up getting them both killed.

I believe that it was the Determination that was created in the true lab by the royal scientist, when Chara’s Soul which is the very essences of who they are.

was taken out of their body and replaced with Determination, that said determination ended up tricking Asriel and at some point when they tried to get him to use the full power of their fusion, I believe that while going home, he had figured out the one he had fused with wasn’t Chara but someone who had switched with them.

and the reason why he didn’t use healing magic while still in Chara’s village, was because it would put those humans in danger.

I believe that when Asriel got home he was going to un-fuse with the stranger soul but was killed by the royal scientist and took the determination back to the lab and made the king and queen believe that Asriel was killed by humans.

yes the humans wounded him but they didn’t give him the fatal blow.

plus besides taking the determination, I believe the royal scientist took Asriel’s Soul too.

his body did turn to dust which would be on a flower which would then become Flowey when the next royal scientist decides to try to use the said flower in a experiment.

I believe that Ralsei is Undertale-Asriel’s Soul, and he is most likely fused with determination.

that explains why even after most likely turning to dust even if ya can only see his clothes and not his dust, he can be brought back with food that can heal.

there is a much older Asriel in Deltarune, and this would be the Asriel that would be the counterpart of the one that is from Undertale.

I believe that Ralsei and Flowey are two halves of the Original Asriel from Undertale, them having determination that was inside the body of Chara, but it wasn’t truly their own determination, but a determination that was created by the first royal scientist.

the Red Soul is only “Determination” in the Fanon

and it’s okay that it still seen that way...

but the Red Soul’s Trait in canon is not determination.

at first I thought it was Ambition, but thanks to Papyrus and Undyne,

I believe the Red Soul’s Trait is Love,

and not the LV that stands for Level of Violence either.

I believe that before we play the game, Frisk may have fell in the underground and ended up in the hands of the royal scientist who decided to inject them with determination, which then allowed them to come back to life and even go back in time.

the same power that Flowey had.

and in one of the rooms where there are flowers, and what appears to be a mirror, it might just be Frisk, like when we play as Frisk and we see what appears to be their reflection.

but it might be Frisk before they were injected with determination.

so even if the monsters are freed and if the royal scientist that is Alphys decides to either let them go or inject them with determination, it might start the resets all over again.

like each Frisk is a Frisk that ended up being injected with determination as a experiment when they end up in the hands of the royal scientist.

Frisk could of fell way before Chara, and determination is able to both change the appearance of itself and it’s host.

so the reflection we see in that room with all those flowers, could be the True-Frisk, who is behind a glass wall.

and the Frisk we are controlling might actually be Chara’s Body, changed to look like Frisk, thanks to the Determination.

and the Chara the player meets is not the real Chara, but the Determination taking their form in order to trick us.

 the Determination is most likely a creation of Gaster, and he knew how to get a monster to accept the determination, and he might of not left his real notes behind when he left that home universe of his.

that is why the monsters that fell down ended up fusing together and becoming all melted like.

it was never truly Alphys’s fault, she might of discovered the research that was left behind by the former royal scientist.

but it was only half of the research.

Ralsei being Undertale-Asriel’s Soul and having determination merged into their very soul, is one of Gaster’s successful experiments...

even if the said experiment was done the wrong way and cost two children their lives.

Chara died by having their soul taken out and replaced with Gaster’s creation, The Determination, it was that very Determination that used Asriel’s love for Chara and made them follow in the plan, a plan that was most likely originally masterminded by Gaster.

and Gaster placed Chara’s Soul into the true lab and made them become a power source and perhaps the True Core.

we know there is a Core to the power that powers the underground, but the True Core could be Chara’s Soul.

 if Asgore had known sooner that his adopted child’s soul was kidnap and used to power the underground, then even after getting the other six human souls, he could of went to the true lab, and saved his child’s soul and used it as the final soul needed to free everyone.

man I ended up talking about game theories XD

well better that then the stuff that gets me feeling down.

and I think I have been writing this for like maybe a hour or so.

if the whole theory about Rose being Pink Diamond can turn out to be canon,

then maybe my theory about Chara’s Soul being used to power the labs and all of the power to the underground, might be true as well.

anyway I am gonna go now, I don’t know if I will have time to do all the stuff I wanted to do after writing this...but I will try to do some of the stuff tomorrow.

see ya later and keep safe everybody.

PS:

thanks for listening, and hope there is no misunderstandings.                                                            

[driftingglass]

inb4 everyone loses their mind about how great BakuDeku is, I'm just trying to make a point. It's a debate, not an argument. That's just my rebuttal. (8/6 wow this got long)

Ah, man, I’m going to have to show all of your messages together because your response was awesome. The thing is, you do have many valid points, and I completely see where you’re coming from and why your point of view on this definitely needs to be heard. 

I hope you don’t mind. I want to respond to you with you knowing that I read every piece of your response and I want to give you the time you’re giving me.

Same anon. Comparing a ship where Deku is told to kill himself and he suffers from depression from everything Baku put him through to “it’s like getting mad at someone for picking green as their favorite color” is a pretty bad comparison honestly. If you romanticize the behavior it leads to people thinking that it’s okay when it clearly isn’t. (1/6)

I agree, that this is a comparably weak analogy. However, I do not intend to romanticize anything when it comes to this ship. These ideas that I’m talking about may sound romanticized, but in execution it would be far harder and more difficult than it seems. 

Also, I would never, EVER, expect the rules of a ship that I like and find interesting in an anime to reflect a real-life relationship or what I would want from a real-life relationship. Maybe this a little confusing, but when it comes to characters and their relationships, I usually never associate them with what I would want in real life. 

Hence, this is why I enjoy writing about it so much, because of how relatively ridiculous and unrealistic it is (and I know that I mentioned the “realism” point on my post and your counter to that, which I’ll expand on). 

Anyway. I agree that romanticizing this behavior is awful, and it shouldn’t be glorified. I don’t think Bakugou should be romanticized as a character at all. I’ve mentioned several times that he’s an asshole and should be held accountable, and in no way would I ever expect this ship to work in canon.

Basically, despite what I love about the ship, I’m completely aware of how horrible the idea of the bully/victim dynamic is reflected in real life, and how circumstances aren’t meant to be built and executed in this way outside of the realm of literature and other artistic mediums.

I understand that you base the attraction of the ship off of healing, forgiveness, growth, etcetera. However, that’s implying that Deku (and others like him who have been in the same situation) would even do any of that. Like he would actually have some kind of mutual love with the same guy who made him fucking hate himself. It literally makes no sense whatsoever considering if you’ve actually talked to anyone who has been bullied, they don’t typically go from “this guy is an asshole”… (2/6)

Hm, you have a point here. I agree with your first statement, but I also want to touch on the “actually have some kind of mutual love with the same guy,” tidbit. I want to clarify that I do think, even with these elements in mind, that Izuku and Katsuki, IF this was based canonically, would have to rebuild some semblance of friendship over years of reconciliation. 

Also… I’m not sure, if Katsuki is actually the main cause of Izuku “hating” himself? I can’t defend anything for Izuku’s complete lack of confidence in the very beginning and the obvious effects that Katsuki’s bullying has had on him. And I don’t plan to, because I think you have a very good point here.

Also, Anon… I have been bullied.

I was bullied verbally and physically through elementary, middle and high school. My family dynamic has led to me being bullied and cornered in my own home. My only two romantic relationships stemmed from mental and sexual manipulation and abuse from people I once considered my best friends, and even though I forgave both of these people, I would never turn back and accept them in my heart again. 

I’ve faced repercussions from every experience, and still do. 

I understand how dreadful and deplorable bullying is, and how it affects victims and the people around them and dear to them. In no way do I want to ever come off as a person who romanticizes bullying or even promotes something similar to that.

But again, this ship is not based off of an idea that I would ever want in my life or want anyone I care about to experience. It’s an idea that I enjoy reading and thinking about in a work of total fiction, with aspects of it that I enjoy and relate to, while also understanding that my life and the works I enjoy are separate. 

You can take that as you will. 

This may seem backwards, but it’s how I feel. 

(Also, Anon, I don’t see parts 3 or 5…? If you want this included on here, send them to me or let me know. I could be missing some of your response…)

Has anyone else who has been bullied relentlessly who is reading this felt that way /ever/? I seriously doubt it. Not only does it not make sense, but it insults the trope as a whole. You continue to make general contrasts and parallels to Katsuki and Izuku which is nice and all. That’s great. In fact, that’s fantastic for a platonic respect that would somehow grow from whatever bitterness they had before. (4/6)

Ah, this is kind of going off my last response. 

I agree that it works mostly in a platonic respect, because mostly of what I love about these two characters and their parallels is their entire dynamic as a whole, both in a romantic and non-romantic context. 

I was focusing on the romantic since that was the subject of the anonymous message you sent me, but there is no doubt in my mind that in the canon universe and even in general, these two work marvelously in the platonic respect.

That’s part of why I love the challenging (and seemingly impossible) idea of carving a romantic image out of it. Is it necessary to enjoy the dynamic? No. Absolutely not. I think your points on this make a ton of sense. 

And no, as someone who’s been bullied for the vast majority of my life, I’ve never felt this way. Ever. I agree with you on that. 

Again, that’s part of the challenge in writing about it, not exercising the practice in real life. I do think the ship is toxic and has a ton of issues, and I’ve mentioned that before–in fact, a lot of the reasons why I mention those to begin with, is based on making readers understand that what happens in this ship shouldn’t be celebrated as an embodiment of perfection or a work of fiction.

But, I see the problematic viewpoints in my arguments, as well. Some of these will lead to us having to agree to disagree, but I really love this rebuttal.

You can forgive someone but that doesn’t mean things are better. That doesn’t mean Deku is fine, it just means he’s let those actions go and he won’t let them haunt him anymore. But forgiveness isn’t an open door for romance. If someone has broken your best friend’s heart and you forgave them for that, it doesn’t erase the memories of you watching them cry or trying to console them because of what their ex did. (6/6 but I still have more to type and this inbox sucks

Everything you’ve said here, is completely, 100%, TRUE.

I absolutely agree on all of the points you’ve made in this specific section. Especially on the nature of forgiveness and how you’ve expanded on this from a previous section you wrote. 

I also agree that forgiveness is not an open door for romance… but it can be.

Now, I’m not speaking from personal experience, and I’m not speaking for the experience of anyone else, but that sentence alone is not universally true. It’s a rather bold statement to make, and it would be impossible to assume that every person who forgives someone would shut the door for romance. 

The circumstances are different with everyone, but it IS TOXIC for a person to immediately forgive, forget, and leap into a romantic situation with no rebuilding or actual time taking place. It’s a complicated subject that you’ve introduced well, and again, I think you’re correct.

Is it true for BakuDeku, though? Yeah, I think in terms of canon, you’re correct. 

But this, again, is why I think it’s challenging. Also, while mentioning this, I do not think that people should feel obligated to open their options for romance upon the nature of forgiveness. Ever.

Again, what I find intriguing in a ship between fictional characters does not reflect what I would want to see from real people, especially those near and dear to me.

Your examples are very relatable too, and help bolster your argument well. 

To clear one thing up, I’m one of few people who ship BakuDeku who completely understands why people hate the ship… for literally almost everything you’ve said so far. I know that this exists, and that your logical viewing behind it is completely valid and makes absolute sense. 

The ship is ludicrous, and the elements that I find fascinating between the characters is why I want to write about them. 

Also, yeah, the inbox system sucks on here. I’m sorry about that, but I appreciate you breaking up your responses! 

If your father used to tell you to kill yourself and treat you the same way Baku did to Deku, you can forgive him but that doesn’t erase whatever Deku has gone through. Forgiveness isn’t a plot device to spur your ship. It’s far more complicated than that. And last but not least, you can challenge yourself with writing without having them fall in love after all the horrible shit Baku has done to Deku. BakuDeku is in no way realism. (7/6)

Again, I agree with you, especially on the first sentence. 

I do find it… kind of unbecoming, to claim that I’m using forgiveness as a plot device to spur the ship. I suppose that it can be considered that, but I don’t take the subject of forgiveness lightly at all–I know that it’s one of the hardest, if not the hardest thing, you can do individually for both yourself and the person involved. 

I’ve had to forgive quite a lot of people to give myself peace, and that has taken years at a time for some, and months for others. I’m fully aware how complex and emotionally rendering forgiveness is, and what it takes to follow through with it. 

I also completely agree with writing about them challengingly and not having them fall in love. I think that’s what’s going to happen with the canon material, honestly. At least, I’m hoping for it, that they can overcome these hurdles and at least mutually respect each other as people. 

Now, the romantic context? That’s purely for out of canon and not at all based on strict material or realistic representation within the manga or from personal experiences. 

“BakuDeku is in no way realism.” 

Hm. You may have a point here. I can see how my statement earlier on BakuDeku being a reflection of realism is flawed, and with the examples you presented I’ll respect that. I’m aware that it’s in a context of fictional characters with overly dramatic and exaggerated circumstances and personalities, and I do think there are realistic elements that can be taken with a ship based in an anime. 

But I agree that outright claiming it to be based on a foundation of realism on top of everything else is a stretch, considering the argument you’ve presented.

inb4 everyone loses their mind about how great BakuDeku is, I’m just trying to make a point. It’s a debate, not an argument. That’s just my rebuttal. (8/6 wow this got long)

Anon, I think it’s actually really incredible that you bothered to present a well-thought-out, well-presented, and very cordially presented rebuttal to my response to your original message. 

I’m grateful that you contributed to this as a discussion, and I love the points you made. I also don’t want you to think that I do support some of these elements that is mentioned above, and that my intention is in no way to romanticize the ship for what it is. 

I also know you’re not trying to start an argument. I love what you’ve had to say, and I really appreciate it. I appreciate the respect and clear attention you’ve put into the post I made and your response, and I hope that my response isn’t angering you or upsetting you.

And if you didn’t want me to do this, please message me and I’ll gladly take it down

Thank you for this response. 

[spinnerprincess]

happy ace awareness week

i think you’re all probably aware that i’m ace by now, i mention it from time to time, but in case you’re not... heyyyyyy

you can find a lot of ace resources around, teaching you about asexuality, what it means, etc. i’ve been personally appreciating the hell out of lyd’s comics on the subject, the most recent of which is here.

this post isn’t for that. this post is for being aware of where i’m at regarding being ace. i would appreciate it if you read it.

hashtag lgbt/ace discourse ahead.

it’s been a weird year for me. a lot of good things have happened, and so have a lot of bad things. dealing with my asexuality has fallen into both categories. 

when i first encountered the term asexuality and adopted it for myself it was a very different time. i had made a friend who was ace. without going into detail, they were a little older than me, and were dealing with the aftereffects of a bad relationship where they felt harrassed and later assaulted by a partner. so i came into it with the full awareness that being ace could be rough and cause discrimination, etc. 

but honestly, in some ways, it was an easier time. back in 2011 asexuality felt less visible, but where it was visible, it was accepted pretty freely. some conversations around terms like “allosexual” began cropping up around them. i think i navigated them fairly well, and i learned a lot, and with everything i learned i grew surer that being ace was both a term that made me feel validated and comfortable, and the word that best defined my gender/sexuality experience. 

the worst thing i had to deal with was people who hated “aces prefer cake” jokes and the occasional “stop calling yourselves aces you’re not playing cards” which, meh, it’s just a cute shortening. i love it. didn’t stop then, won’t stop now. you couldn’t pay me to go back to a time when i thought sherlock was worth any attention (i at least didn’t fuckin ascribe to a lot of the shit like “oh he’s ace/aro and it excuses his bullshit” haha fuck off.). but. boy. sometimes i miss it.

this past year or two, it’s been shitty. first we had the tail end of the “queer” discourse. i understood some viewpoints coming out of that, but ultimately settled on feeling like it the people arguing to remove it from the lexicon were wrong. i think there’s some valid points to be made, but mostly found the whole argument tiresome. Let people call themselves what they want, and don’t use it for people you don’t know like it, or for the whole community. Done. 

and if I’m a little more hesitant to use it for myself, if i once described myself as queer freely and happily, and now do so nervously, backspacing it out of the text once or twice, that’s... something i hope to overcome.

but boy oh boy did that discourse just dovetail right into my personal hell. the kind of people who don’t want to see the community expanded, who want to stay on top and exclude people who aren’t being their kind of gay, immediately dug their claws into that argument about “queer” and didn’t stop.

i’ve endured months and months of ace discourse now and it’s... it’s been exhausting. i’m not even directly involved in it, but it’s still there. it’s constant. it’s insidious. 

what started as a counter argument of “queer is a great as a blanket word for people with complex identities, such as ace people” dove directly into “well, are ace people lgbt?” and didn’t stop. suddenly it was the topic of the season. early definitions said “yes” or “if they think they are.” more arguments. “well, heteroromantic aces aren’t lgbt,” became popular. i can see why. that kind of invisible distinction could play well into pretending you’re straight, after all - right? so went the discourse. ugh.

as that argument caught on, people with anti-ace agendas pushed it further. “so being ace alone doesn’t make you lgbt.” “kids can’t identify as ace, that’s sexualization.” “cishet aces just want to steal our resources.” 

i don’t want to go into all of these but. boy. some of them were presented logically, kindly. others devolved quickly into “aces are the worst and can die,” “ace people don’t belong full stop,” and even “lol look at me i’m a tumblrina i’m 13 years old asexual fictkin special snowflake” as the punchline of jokes that spread outside of this site. 

some ace people are assholes and of course stirred the pot more by being overtly bitter/turning things into oppression olympics type bickering over how aces have the worst, or whatever. some blogs people cited for examples of “terrible ace people co-opting lesbian stuff” or whatever else were literally from sockpuppet blogs making fun of ace people.

for a time, i even bought into some of it. i thought some of the early arguments, that heteroromantic aces shouldn’t be considered lgbt, might have valid points. but you know what? that’s bullshit. if you believe you belong, you should be welcomed with open arms. hetero aces experience some of the same shit i do. they probably also experience other shit. just because i don’t know what it is, or it’s different from mine, doesn’t mean it isn’t an alienating, and perhaps even queer, experience. their sexuality, as nuanced as it is, still sets them apart and they deserve support. we all do. 

it sucks to think that this shitty shitty discourse had me believing in a position that invalidated my own experience of aceness being the source of much of my queer experiences, for a while.

all this to say nothing of the invisible hate seeping towards aromantic people as well, lolololol. it’s not a big part of me the way being ace is but i’m probably somewhere on the aro spectrum and. great. thanks. i’m still so tired of split attraction model arguments. if it works for you, use it. if it works for other people, let them use it. is it so hard to believe that some people might experience things differently to you? or differently to how you would imagine? god.

my favorite part is when allo people started saying “allo is a slur!!!” when, get this: allosexual was pushed for and partially created by allo people who (rightly) didn’t want to be called “sexual,” like poc, and rape survivors. ace people adopted it into their language for their benefit, not for ours, lololololol

so. that’s the year i’ve been dealing with. i’ve had to unfollow a number of people i thought were otherwise cool over this. i haven’t gone a single month without finding someone i think is amazing, reading through their blog, and discovering with a sense of nausea that they would hate me. genuinely hate me. there’s no love there. someone who says “u shouldn’t follow me if you think ace people are lgbt lol” isn’t interested in hearing and believing my stories, my experiences, my life which is hard and queer and as deserving of support as anyone’s. they aren’t interested in treating me like a person. that’s... i mean, i think that counts as hate. yeah.

i still hesitate on the word aphobia, or, similarly, biphobia. i don’t know if it’s the right way to describe it, when the hatred you refer to comes from within a similar group of people with oppressed sexualities. i wouldn’t hesitate to say post from an allosexual person in favor of in corrective rape w/r/t ace people are aphobic. i wouldn’t hesitate to say a straight person who thinks bi people are disgusting is a biphobe.

but is that reality talking, or is it just me being unable to acknowledge that oppression is oppression, fear and hate are fear and hate, and discrimination towards aces, which i’ve spent the last two years being told isn’t real, despite experiencing it on a regular basis both in and out of community?

what’s the line between discrimination and oppression? if people’s everyday biases make it harder for ace people to live their lives, is there a point in determining that line?

i fuckin dunno. i’m so tired. i’ve spent a long year feeling like i’ve shrunk myself. i feel more comfortable lately talking about fictional ladies and my attraction to them, which isn’t sexual, and isn’t exactly romantic, but it’s... it’s something that exist. just recently i became comfortable feeling like i can use the term “wlw” for myself, which i fought myself for a long time on. being ace, being quietly non-binary were both things that felt like obstacles.

and the wlw community is just full of toxicity still. terfs have grown and drawn others to their ideologies, some of them using anti-ace tactics to do so, others using tried and true biphobic messaging and of course, who could forget the constant hammering of “trans women aren’t women” bullshit they like to pull. 

so that’s one triumph of the year. i’m nb, i’m wlw, i’m ace. i can say those three things and feel pretty comfortable in it. 

i just wish it didn’t also come at costs. i find it harder to express my ace life. i find it harder to feel positively about it. i don’t have the energy to deeply deal with ace headcanons lately. it feels like the online world is hyperaware of us now, if anything. everybody has an opinion. moreover, people feel entitled to an opinion, in a way they weren’t before. people feel like it can be their opinion that my ace experiences aren’t lgbt, or that my sexuality doesn’t exist or even harms theirs, or... i don’t know. what will be the next big reason asexuality is terrible/invalid/not lgbt?

if you bothered to read or hell just skimmed this long post... thank you.

thank you. 

i know i’ve been quiet about a lot of this. not all the time, but a lot of the time. i feel bad about that, a little? i want people to know what this looks like. knowing asexuality exists is so, so good. but knowing that ace people are facing right now, the movement of hatred that has swept across pockets of lgbt people in recent years, and having the awareness to try and combat it...

it would mean a lot to me, if it felt like more of that could exist.