#i have so much more info to share and not enough brainpower to share it

[souredwaters]

To clarify, I don't HATE the canon design. I just think that there were a lot more interesting things they could have done.

I cannot believe how much is MISSED in the canon design. Like a lot of history EXISTS in fashion. I will be addressing some of points in greater detail here.

The makeup is my favorite bit of Victorian era trivia. Tuberculosis was an incredibly common and deadly virus that Charlie definitely would have known about and understood. And it's impact on fashion is very interesting. In 1882, Robert Koch discovered how tuberculosis spread, and then everyone lost their shit. Like masks for covid, people began changing what they wore to accommodate. And also people really liked how women who had contracted tuberculosis looked. Pale skin, red cheeks, dark lips, and a thinner face shape became standards of fashion that still remain to this day. Charlie would have for sure kept up with this trend herself, regardless of it's odd origin.

A large staple of the Victorian aesthetic in general is an excess of detail. This was the time of the industrial revolution and things like fabric could finally be made in extremely large amounts for a much lower cost. Statement fashion was no longer for JUST the upper crust, now EVERYONE had a gaudy outfit to wear. If Charlie REALLY wanted to command respect, she would be wearing something with a style that says "I have a LOT of money to spend!".

It's also important to understand the difference between a LATE Victorian and a MID Victorian silhouette. Mid Victorian silhouettes have a more bell like shape. Another fashion trend that resulted from tuberculosis and the discovery of germs was a raised hemline for dresses. After people learned that they could get sick from tracking filth in their homes, they no longer wanted to wear clothes that dragged around picking up dirt from outside. This had the additional effect of kickstarting the women's shoe fashion industry, but that's beside the point. Late Victorian silhouettes had a slimmer shape near the calves, much like Charlie's canon design. Both mid and late Victorian outfits utilized bump pads to add shape to the rear end, same with Edwardian. Yes, Charlie would have seen and probably worn clothes with a late Victorian silhouette, but a mid Victorian silhouette would command power through age. It's appearance is old enough to exude a more studious air, but not so old as to look like an old lady's clothes. Not only that but a larger silhouette takes up more space in a room and generally make her appear more important.

I hope you enjoyed my excuse to info dump Victorian era trivia! It's one of my favorite things to learn about!

[moiloru]

Black Clover Review!

Hello, and welcome to a new anime review! The anime I'll be reviewing today is Black Clover, a well-known action/fantasy anime!

To begin, let's go over some basic info about this anime. Well, Black Clover is originally a manga, which is still ongoing, and so far, "only" 170 episodes have been animated, meaning the series is still far from over. I'll be reviewing Seasons One through Four (even though I watched them as a big bundle) here, as they're the only ones that have aired so far. The anime started airing in 2017 and finished its first season in 2021.

Now, I read a lot of negative criticism about this anime, and honestly, even before I delve deeper into it, let me say something: if you think this is trash, you must have godly standards.

First off, the plot. Well, it's fairly simple and it probably does not have the most complicated fantasy plot you've seen. To be honest, you don't need much brainpower to watch this anime, but that doesn't mean it's bad. On the contrary, it has a few awesome narrative arcs, and there's not a single time I thought it was getting boring while watching it. I have to point out this anime's one flaw, though: the fillers. There are quite a lot, and while it makes sense for an anime this long, it's still regrettable. With that out of the way, there aren't many flaws left to point out, and it doesn't ruin the enjoyment at all.

The story progresses pretty well and has a couple of really interesting plot twists. None of them are breathtaking (apart from maybe one at the very end), but it's more than solid. Shoutout to the narrator of this anime, who did a great job. The intros are surprisingly good! Something you'll also notice quickly while watching Black Clover is how funny it is. Honestly, I laughed a lot, and some characters in particular - the protagonist, first of them - are amusing as heck. That doesn't prevent this anime from having some serious/emotional moments, though!

Of course, a good anime needs good animation, and while Black Clover doesn't have the best animation out there, it's not ugly. The first half of the anime isn't gorgeous, but the second half is much better. On top of that, the fighting scenes are beautifully animated, especially near the end. The colors get more and more vibrant as the episodes pass, and it's not disappointing in the slightest.

Musically, a couple of themes stand out, and while none of them are worth any prizes, they're more than good enough. The openings are all extremely pleasant to listen to and watch. Openings 3 and 10, in particular, are nothing short of stunning.

Being an action anime, Black Clover has many, many fights. Some are good, some are very good, some are amazing, and a few are epic. That sums it up quite well, I think. The "boss" fights are obviously the best of the bunch, but even some more minor battles are praise-worthy. The fact that every character has different spells/abilities makes every fight feel unique, too.

Last but not least, perhaps the most important part of any anime: the characters. As usual, there will be a tierlist at the bottom of this post, so you'll be able to see how good I thought they all were, but I was overall more than satisfied! The main character, Asta, is a bundle of joy to see grow, and so are all (well, almost all) of his friends! Surprisingly, the most "disappointing" character (not the worst, mind you), is the second main character, whose personality is somewhat annoying at times. Other than that, the main cast is great, works well together, their interactions are always well-written, and you can feel the bond they share. Also, this anime can be proud of having one of my favorite characters ever, which is also something.

So yeah, Black Clover is pretty damn good if you ask me. It's not perfect at all, it's not the best anime ever, but if you want my opinion, if every anime could be this great, the world would be a much better place. Don't hesitate for a second and watch it if you haven't already!

Down below are the tierlists for this anime: one for the characters, one for the ships, and a third one for the narrative arcs. They contain spoilers, though, so proceed with caution!

Thank you for reading this review!

(Link: https://tiermaker.com/create/black-clover-ranking-of-the-characters-351437)

(Link: https://tiermaker.com/create/black-clover-ships-418926)

(Link: https://tiermaker.com/create/black-clover-arcs-1117035)

[atravellerstale-meg]

I have finished the final two prompts! Took me long enough, eh? I’m literally just editing them now, so they should go up in the next few days, and I’ll talk more about all that once they do.

So now I’m working on writing a multi-chapter AH thing (more info to come once the first chapter’s done) and I want something else to do, something that doesn’t require quite so much brainpower. And I’ve been getting into moodboards recently (I actually have a couple of Freewood ones, a Hitman AU one, a Dusk Lord and a Solar Queen one, and a few more assorted ones that I haven’t uploaded yet), but I also have a lot of headcanons I want to share, especially since AH The Musical came out and revitalised my interest in FAHC, so!

In short, over the next few days, I am going to be working on moodboards over on my art blog and I’m going to be rambling about headcanons here on my writing blog, so feel free to send in messages to either and you should get something related to it! Otherwise you’ll end up with a ton of Gavin content. Because I am predictable like that.

<3

[femsff]

4, 8, 11, 13, 23, 30, 34, 38 :)

Oooh, awesome! Thanks. 

I’ve included already answered ones below.

A Writer’s Ask Game

agwitow:

Send me an ask with the number(s) you’d like me to answer!

The Basics1.     Do you listen to music when you write?2.     Are you a pantser or plotter?

Started out as a pantser but after a few fic, I decided to give plotting a try. Am now a fully committed plotter.

3.     Computer or pen and paper?

Definitely computer. My fingers tend to cramp up even when I write a little bit and when I write a page or so in a notebook (I often carry a notebook with me when I go somewhere but don’t want to drag the laptop with me), about 3/4th of it illegible to anyone who isn’t me. In a way, that’s a good thing I suppose considering some of my smuttier fics, but overall it’s just a pain. And I always get disappointed when I get around to typing out the notes because it looks like a lot more when written out!

4.     Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

No, I have never been published. Maybe one day I’ll try my hand at it, but right now I don’t feel like my writing is “good enough” yet. No idea for an original novel either.

5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?6.     Single or multiple POV?7.     Standalone or series?8.     Oldest WIP

Oldest WIP I’ve written for or does plotting also count? If it’s just written, then it’s probably my abandoned Down the Rabbit Hole (FFnet | AO3). I just... got stuck. And it was so incredibly frustrating and really stopped me from enjoying anything fic-related that I finally just said to hell with it and dropped it. I just checked and I stopped working on it in 2013... I still have the outline and everything though, so who knows?

9.     Current WIP10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?

The Specifics11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

To be honest, I have no idea. I don’t know, maybe I’m rare but I’ve never been one of those people who held specific authors up as their ideal. I used to read a lot of books (nowadays less so, because 1) am adult and have to adult and 2) because I read fanfic and often would rather write my own fic than read a book) and have some favorites  (all fiction) but nothing that really stands out.

12.  Describe your perfect writing space13.  Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Hahaha! Are you sure you want to know?

Okay, so I get an idea. Often when I’m half asleep/dozing, in the shower or just doing something mindlessly. The ideas are usually specific scenes that I can see play out in my head, but occasionally it’s just a conversation/some dialogue. If I like it, I’ll try to force more by really focusing on it. If the muse wishes it, that tends to work. I’m rarely super excited about an idea that I’ll start working on it right away, and prefer to let it roll around for a while. See if it keeps popping up and more details are added. If it’s worth my time and energy, I suppose.

Once that happens, I’ll start writing down notes. I use OneNote to organize my fic ideas/plotting and have one notebook that’s simply for ideas; one section per idea and depending on the idea, it’ll just be a stream of consciousness (often peppered with questions for myself) or a bit more organized in different pages. Again, depending on how excited I am about the idea, this can be done in a day or it can take weeks/months where I’ll occasionally add some info.

Then, when I feel like I want to work on it some more, I’ll start to delve into the details. When is it set? What’s the beginning, middle and end? Which events do I want include but have no idea where yet? Is there specific dialogue or are there actions I want to maybe include at one point? If it’s an AU, AR or AT, I’ll start working on the differences from canon (who is in it, what’s their role, how does it deviate from canon). How long do I think this fic will be? I need to set a max number of chapters for myself, otherwise the story will just keep growing and I’ll keep adding stuff and in the end it’ll read like I just came up with more and more stuff simply so I wouldn’t have to end the story, rather than telling the story I wanted to tell in the beginning. 

Anyway, I start creating pages for the chapters and fill in the few things I already know. At this point I often also involve my beta and discuss the fic idea with her. Everything from that conversation goes into the ‘brainstorm’ section and I’ll work on the questions and suggestions that arose during the conversation. Then, I’ll start focusing on filling up the chapters with general outlines. That can be anything from “scene 1 Sam telling Jack (Sam pov); scene 2 introspection about changes (Jack pov)” to a paragraphed summary or even a scene completely written out. Sometimes it’s just “some shippy stuff here”, to let me know that at one point I need to lighten it up or bring them closer together. I go over all the chapter pages that way, but don’t necessarily fill them all out. I also make one page with a chapter overview, which is usually the numbered chapters with one or two lines about the content so I can see in one quick glance which things need working on. 

More thinking on the fic idea, sometimes even when sleeping and brainstorming with the beta usually follows, which in turn results in adding more details. The chapter pages get more specifics or maybe a “don’t forget to mention [character]”  or “now [# weeks] pregnant, mention that/include symptoms”. Also, depending on the story idea, I might need to do research. That can be canon/fanon stuff, but also scientific stuff, maybe a different language, create background information for original/rarely used canonical  characters, timeline, locations, RL world events, and so on. That also gets included in the notebook and, at some point, added to the relevant chapter.

Once my outlining is done and I feel comfortable to start  writing, I tend to just create a master document and start writing. Now, that’s not to say my whole outline is complete or that it’s something I must strictly adhere to. Additions and changes are made all the time, sometimes I’ll get stuck or realize a scene doesn’t work the way I envisioned it or the beta tells me something is missing. So, I go back to the notes and work on it. Then I go back to the fic and write, write, write.

Oh and I usually ask the beta to go over a chapter once I’ve finished writing it (or, if I’m stuck in a scene, I’ll ask her to look at it right away) and then I’ll go over the feedback, make changes, possibly discuss some of the things she mentioned, do some more editing and then I’ll go to the next chapter and write some more.

14.  How do you deal with self-doubts?15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?16.  How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have?

Hmm. I’m not sure? I do know that when I’m stuck I tend to make a fruit salad or get snacks out in the hopes of it resulting in the required brainpower to keep going.

18.  If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?19.  How do you keep yourself motivated?20.  How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

The Favourites21.  Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?22.  Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?23.  Favourite author

I don’t think I really have a favorite author... I don’t like non-fiction, I always read fiction and often thrillers. Some of the books I always order and often reread are ones by Jilliane Hoffman and Ingrid Black.

As for fic, see my favorites/bookmarks on my profile on FFnet/AO3.

24.  Favourite genre to write and read25.  Favourite part of writing

Ooh, difficult to choose. I really love doing the research and plotting, but I think the best part of writing is ending up with the story you imagined before you even ‘put pen to to paper’. Also, managing to convey the emotions through the writing - like when a reader comments with how they also teared up, they had to stop reading a few times to catch their breath/get a grip on their emotions or were just overwhelmed by it all. That’s pretty neat.

26.  Favourite writing program27.  Favourite line/scene28.  Favourite side character29.  Favourite villain30.  Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

I have quite a few fic ideas I haven’t started writing yet. Not sure I can choose one. But one that I’ve had for a long time, like ~6 years, and even started writing on (but then discarded that because it wasn’t a good opening) is for Woman In Blue. It’s a first-person fic, a style I actually kinda hate and would probably back-button right away if I saw one of my favorite authors use in a new fic... anyway, it’s Mark Carter in first person, writing about Sam (and to a smaller extent, Jack) and all the things he learned about her life after her death - she and Jack died in a blaze of glory, defending Earth against a Replicator attack that also prompted Disclosure.

The Dark31.  Least favourite part of writing32.  Most difficult character to write33.  Have you ever killed a main character?34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

There are so many scenes I’ve struggled with, most recently in Unmade Plans (chapter 8 specifically, that one really was a fight and I’ve rewritten it probably a dozen times) but the hardest was probably the Sam/Klorel scene in Only the Stubborn Survive. Those of you who’ve read the fic will know which scene I mean.

35.  What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

The Fun36.  Last sentence you wrote37.  First sentence or your current WIP38.  Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

I’m not quite sure. A lot of them start out as weird ideas! The end result as you see them are soooo different. Maybe Consequences of Being Touched, because there were quite a few risque scenes in there?

39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had40.  Share some backstory for one of your characters

The Rest of It41.  Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?42.  How do you feel about love triangles?43.  What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

It depends on the situation and the outline. I’ve thrown outlines out of the window at times because something else turned out to work much better once you actually reach that point in your story, but I’ve also rewritten a scene a dozen times before I got it exactly the way I wanted it in the outline.

44.  How much research do you do?45.  How much world building do you do?46.  Do you reread your own stories?47.  Best way to procrastinate48.  What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?50.  [Other question—ask me anything]

Well, those were fun but also tricky! Guess I shouldn’t have skimmed the list before rb’ing, haha. No just kidding, I loved answering them. Thanks!

[talesofzero]

La Douleur Exquise - Ch. 6

AU; Chapter 6 - The Case of Green

Dick’s color is green because he’s here for that cash. Pay the gross sand boy. “When’s there going to be actual smut in this fic?” Next chapter?? Maybe?? Idk

~3k words.

We had a mail day once a week. Kei went to our box on-planet, scanned for anything explosive or toxic, and brought back a bag of whatever she didn’t need to destroy as a precaution.

Harlock got the occasional letter, though I never saw him open them. Zero got the most mail out of all of us and always looked confused by his stack of letters and boxes. Daiba, Monono, Shep, and the Kodais got nothing. At least, Susumu used to get nothing. This time Kei came back with a box from his client. Susumu looked at it like it might rear back and bite him.

Usually I was the only one getting weird things from clients. Kei always used her foot to push the boxes my way, her nose wrinkled. The only thing she handed to me was the occasional letter with the worst chicken scratch scrawled across the front.

“What’s that?” Tadashi asked as I tore open my latest one. “Did someone actually hand-write you a letter? I’ve never seen a hand-written letter.”

“Only rich sorts on my planet have any sort of useful tech,” I said. “Since it’s a desert planet, everything gets clogged with sand unless we make it right.”

“You’re from a desert planet? That sounds rough.”

Unfolding the paper sent dirt spilling out. The words were all smudged, many misspelled, but he was getting better. “You get used to it,” I said. “What sort of place did you grow up?”

“Oh, I uh, I grew up with my brother.” His eyes screamed for help as he pointed toward Daiba. I would have expected them to corroborate their story a little better.

“Yeah? Where was that?” I didn’t care, but it was funny to watch him go wide-eyed with panic. None of us would have cared about whatever he was trying to hide, so I wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. A fifteen year-old couldn’t have anything that serious under his belt. Even if he did somehow, Harlock wouldn’t have let him stay.

Still, it didn’t matter, so I let him off the hook. “I just can’t believe all these guys letting their little brothers work here. It’s just absurd,” I said as I plopped down on the couch to properly read the letter. Parts of it were like trying to decipher a code.

Tadashi’s white-knuckle grip released from the hem of his dress when he realized he was safe. “Didn’t...your older brother let you work here?” he asked.

“Harlock’s not really my brother,” I said.

He got the message that time and shuffled away to get the broom for all the dirt I’d trailed onto the floor. Before I could get too far into my letter, though, Daiba leaned over the back of the couch, all glares and growls. “Dick, are you being mean to my brother?”  

“I would never,” I said as I reached up and patted his cheek. No matter how hard he tried to scare me, I always found Daiba cute. Sure, his bite was as bad as his bark, but he would never hurt one of us.

Except me. He might hurt me.

I had to pull my hand away to keep him from biting off my fingers. “Don’t be an ass!” he snapped. “And don’t talk to him! Don’t look at him!” His eyes narrowed. “Don’t think about him.”

“I’m sure you think about him enough for all of us,” I said.

He didn’t budge. His face remained a stony mask of anger, but his cheeks did tinge pink. The longer he glared at me, the more the color infected his ears too. “Cute,” I said.

Throwing myself toward the ground was the only way to avoid the punch that came barreling toward me. “I’ll kick your ass!” he screeched. “Get back here!”

Once I rolled out of his reach and regained my footing, I dashed for the stairs. I’d learned how to run from all the times I was caught pickpocketing, and his short legs didn’t stand a chance. “Love you, Daiba!” I called as I raced up the stairs two at a time. “Keep up the good work.”

He let out a yowl like a cat drenched with water, but I’d already made it to my room. The walls were to all our rooms were soundproof, so if he was still screaming, I couldn’t hear it. My comforter flared up around me as I flopped into bed. Tadashi must have washed it because it smelled of dryer sheets - ideal for burying my nose in as I read the letter.

As usual, things back home hadn’t changed much, but that was what I liked most about the letters. The little stories of daily life peppered throughout brought me back to that planet full of sand and groaning machinery. I’d been so accustomed to a world with endless pulses of heat during the day and bone-chilling cold at night that the first time I ever felt a/c was on the train out.

I had to ask the conductor what it was.

We saved for months to get me that train ticket, all in hopes that I could get a job that would get my brother out as well, get him as far away as possible from that wasteland. I’d told him I was going to be a mechanic, and in every letter since I’d left I told him about all the imaginary things I was fixing, all the ships and trains. Like I could ever make the kind of money I sent him from a job like that.

As I reread “Love, Sam,” for the tenth time, someone knocked at my door. “Yeah?” I called.

“Dick, I’ve got a couple new client applications for you.”

I poked my head out into the hall to find Harlock standing there with his arms crossed. Daiba didn’t seem to be hiding anywhere in preparation to jump me, but Harlock must have heard the screaming.

“Try not to antagonize Daiba,” he said. “You’re lucky Tadashi was there to calm him down.”

“Someone can actually calm Daiba down?” I gave a low whistle. “That maid kid’s magic. So let me see these new clients. Are they attractive at all?”

“Well, one of them isn’t human if that piques your interest at all.” He handed me a tablet with all the info he’d dug up on them.   

I always felt too aware of myself when near Harlock. It made me want to back away, to put space between us. He was taller, more broad-shouldered, and his eye was the deep brown of old rust. Other than that, though, we looked identical.

There was no denying that we were related. I’d known it from the moment I laid eyes on him.

All the gusto I had upon storming into his office and demanding a job vanished when he raised his head. He stared at me the same way I stared back - his eye filled with confusion and denial.

I’d seen the wanted posters. I knew about my father - not that the man ever deserved to be called that - but I never expected to run into any relatives on his side. The Harlocks were all fabled pirates. They weren’t real. They especially did not run brothels on suspicious, unmarked satellites.

“Alright,” Harlock said once he regained enough of his composure. “You...you want a job. I am hiring prostitutes, but that’s, um- You understand what this work entails-”

“I can handle anything,” I said, struggling to keep my eyes locked on his. I wasn’t opposed to begging. My pride had never been that great, but dammit, begging this bastard for anything was a blow to the gut. “I need the money. Please.”

“Sit down.” He gestured to the chair in front of his desk with one hand while the other rubbed harshly at his face. “I won’t be able to just ignore this, so about your father-”

“If you have to know, he was the former Captain Harlock,” I said, dropping into the chair. “I was an accident though. I never met him, and I doubt he knew about me. I didn’t know I would run into you here either if you were wondering about that.”

“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “My father wasn’t the best, but… I know he would have wanted to help you had he known. If all you need is money-”

“I need a job.”

“I can get you something else-”

“This is all I know how to do.”

I only knew the old mechanics of my home planet. Even the tech of the train that brought me was far from my reach. But I’d slept around for money before. It didn’t take much brainpower to figure out sex. Whatever it took to get Sam a better life was worth it.

Harlock looked like he’d aged a few years since I showed up. “Alright,” he said. “I’ll take you on as a prostitute, but if you want to take any classes or need any means to learn a new profession, I will help you. I understand if you want nothing to do with me as family, but as your boss, let me help.”

I should have counted my blessings that he gave me a job. Should have thanked him and walked out. Too bad my temper was stronger than reason. “I don’t need your pity or your guilt, and I certainly don’t need you as family.”

He breathed a sigh through his nose before speaking slow and quiet. “I understand. I won’t force you to consider me or anyone else family.”

That took the wind out of my sails. If there were more than just him, it would be hard to ignore everyone.

“But,” he continued. “Look past your pride for a moment. You can’t be a whore forever.”

He was right. He was always right, dammit. He was right when I insisted on taking clients he’d voted against, right when he told me I had no chance of denying Manabu as family with that kid’s puppy-dog eyes, right about needing the stack of textbooks in the corner of my room, even if I mostly just used the information in them to send lies to my little brother.

Harlock and I were related, but we weren’t family. I’d stubbornly held onto that even after all he’d done for me. I knew it wasn’t fair to direct my grudge against his father onto him. Dammit, if I’d gotten to meet his father, I could have been mad at him instead, but the bastard had to go get himself killed.

If only the man’s brother could have shared the same fate.

“Hey, Phantom! Dick!”

We both went taught as a noose at the yell from downstairs.

“Uncle Franklin, we’re closed!” Harlock yelled back. “It’s Sunday, and past eight at that! What are you doing here?”

“Just came to say hi.”

Despite knowing better, we both shuffled to the end of the hall to see him in those old, dusty boots and wide-brimmed hat. It was a wonder he could see out from under it. He had a scar on each cheek as though to outdo everyone else in the family. Harlock had done his best to hide me from his uncle, but curiosity got the better of me, and the man spotted me when I tried to sneak a glimpse at him. I should have anticipated a keen eye from a sharp-shooter. Despite all my rage-fueled attempts, I could not convince him I wasn’t part of the family tree.

He flopped onto one of the couches, which made Tadashi look ready to faint. The man had tracked in enough dirt to make a farm, and now the couch wore half of it. “Any leftovers hanging around?” he asked. “I’m parched.”

“I can get Monono to fetch you something,” Harlock said, already looking exhausted. “You came just for food, didn’t you?”

“I would never!” he gasped in mock-offense. “I came for the food and the booze and the nice company.”

Harlock looked like he believed that about as much as he believed my lie that I was sending money back home to a girlfriend. As he started down the stairs, I trailed after him. If nothing else, Frank could be entertaining for a while.

“So why don’t you have any tables out here yet?” he asked. “Is that some fancy restaurant thing? Not having tables? It’s fine, I guess. I’m used to eating with a plate in my lap, but I’d think high society could afford some tables.”

“You still haven’t told him?” I asked Harlock in a whisper.

“I’ve told him a dozen times, but he always thinks I’m kidding.”

I was amazed the other guys hadn’t come down to swarm him in attention yet. Frank was so dense that he thought he was getting lucky with a waiter, when really Harlock just had access to his bank account. He paid his dues like any other client. He just didn’t know about it.

According to Harlock, Frank was a couple years younger than his father, but I imagined they looked about the same, so if I’d ever gotten to meet my father, I pictured him just like Frank. Equally cheerful and equally stupid.

The sound of bare feet slapping against the floor made me turn to see Manabu stumbling to a stop at the top of the stairs. “Franklin!” he greeted with a grin and a wave. The kid was the only one in the family who seemed to actually like the guy.

Frank waved back, all smiles. “He’s cute,” he said to Harlock. “Have I met him? Did I sleep with him?”

Harlock’s voice was as dry as my home planet. “That’s Wataru’s son. He’s related to you. You’ve known him since he was a baby.”

“Oh!” Franklin laughed in an odd, wheezy sort of way, like there were holes in his lungs. “He looks different clean.”

To be fair, Manabu was in his pajamas and freshly-showered. His hair stuck to his face in ringlets and bounced along to each of his steps down the stairs. I swore the kid was a puppy in disguise, impossibly cute and eager to please.

“Uncle Franklin, I haven’t seen you in ages,” he said. “How’s Heavy Meldar?”

“About the same as always,” Frank said with a shrug. “Mostly dirt.”

“Gotten in any shootouts lately?”

“Not that they have any proof of.”

Harlock looked like he needed a stiff drink as his uncle whipped a gun from his holster and twirled it with ease. Harlock was also the only one who didn’t jump when the safety failed and the gun went off into the ceiling.

Poor Monono, also in his pajamas, almost threw the food tray in his hands into the ceiling alongside the bullet.

“Please stop trying to kill me,” Harlock said, just looking tired while my heart was trying to break out of my ribcage.

Not as concerned as I thought he should be, Frank frowned and looked over his gun. “Sorry, they’re getting old. I’ll take them apart and check them over.”

“That’s likely what ruined them to begin with,” Harlock muttered as he went over to take the tray from a startled Monono. Poor kid was frozen in shock. “Anyway, Uncle, it’s everyone’s night off, so I hope you weren’t expecting anything from my...wait staff. I’d like for all of them to get proper rest.”

“I’m content with just the meal then. Oh, but I did bring you this. Almost forgot. I’ll trade ya’.” After fishing in the cheap drawstring bag on his shoulder, he pulled out a stack of letters that looked halfway toward crumbling into dust. They were all tied by string, most the same size and shape.

“More mail day for you,” I noted as Harlock traded the tray of food for the letters, confusion twisting his features.

I peered around to see the return address on the top one - Warrius Zero. Judging by the flowing cursive, the letter may have been handwritten as well. It was addressed to Phantom F. Harlock, and once Harlock tugged the string loose and began flipping through them, it became apparent that they were all that way - to Harlock, from Zero. Still sealed.

“Never had a forwarding address for you, and I forgot all about them,” Frank said around a mouthful of potatoes. “Sorry about that. Had ‘em in an old trunk, and I just found them again.”

His hands dropped down to hide it, but I saw. Harlock was trembling. “I see. Thank you,” he said in a voice so thin it could shatter at any moment. He always fought so hard to hide everything, but he was losing his grip over a stack of letters.

He looked so vulnerable, so human, and I understood. Not completely. I would never understand what had happened between him and Zero. But I understood letters and all the memories and pain that could be locked within them.  

Because there were a hundred letters under my bed I’d never sent, filled with the truth, filled with every joyful and painful memory I had of being at the brothel. All the letters I was too scared to send to my brother. All the letters promising I’d see him soon.

“Go on,” I breathed just loud enough for Harlock to hear as I nudged my shoulder against his. “We can handle Uncle.”

He smiled. For just a moment, Harlock smiled at me, a slight tug at his lips that warmed his eye. He looked that way at Wataru and Manabu, occasionally even Frank, but not me.

We were related, but we weren’t family. We were much too odd to be family. We must have been something though because I smiled back before turning to Frank with a simple means of distraction.

“So how have your horses been?”

While Frank was sweating bullets and stumbling over an explanation of how he’d managed to kill his past several horses, Harlock slipped off. Manabu was invested enough in the odd tales not to notice either, but my mind kept drifting back to those damn letters. I did need to see my brother before I forgot what he looked like.

The homesickness was starting to kill me.