#i have somehow started rewatching the night at the museum films

[plantyboii28]

if i had a nickel every time owen wilson played a character in an extremely queercoded relationship in a fantasy world i'd have two nickels...

[letsperaltiago]

i love you and i like you

Based on @stars-my-darling's adorable post: 

“When Mac starts talking he will sometimes just randomly tell Amy that he loves her, usually at the end of an unrelated sentence. They later realise that he learnt to do this because Jake is always randomly telling Amy that he loves her and Mac is copying him." aka. 5 times toddler Mac Santiago-Peralta tells his mommy he loves her

Also includes prompt #101 from the 101 fluffy prompts-list: "…They just grow up so fast."

Read on ao3

Every like and reblog is appreciated <3

Amy Santiago has so far had a lifetime’s worth of great jobs, which, she knows, isn’t that hard when you love work and everything it implies. Everything from assisting her middle school’s librarian to that brief job at a small uptown museum her degree got her to being a respected sergeant in the NYPD. She’s loved every single job but, she’s now come to realise, nothing vill ever beat her most recent employment: Motherhood. With a capital M, yes.

Mac throws her and Jake’s worlds over like the tiny miracle of a storm he is and they’ve never looked back since. It’s brand new, it’s exciting, it’s scary, and though they’re not exactly religious, he’s the answer to their prayers. Parenthood turns out to be nothing like what they’d expected, like nothing they’d ever tried before and looking past some of the rough days, which are inevitable, it’s actually even better. They get to shape and watch a human grow; a human of which they’re both the genesis and they couldn’t be any more proud - both of each other but also their son.

Everything Mac does and achieves is a moment to remember, and they take nothing for granted: every new sound, even simple gurgles, every new movement, even the flick of a tiny finger? They beam, look at each other with wide, joyous eyes and celebrate their newborn addition to their little family. They hold on to everything they can, while they can although, they swear, every other day they’ll be lying in bed with him while he sleeps or watch him begin to explore their apartment on his own and they’ll take turns breaking the comfortable silence with what they’re both thinking:

“They just grow up so fast.”

Even if he’s merely grown a tenth of an inch since the last time they brought it up.

This fact aside, before they know it, their before so very tiny and helpless son can sit without assistance, sooner than later starts crawling and before they seem to have the time to catch up with the ladder he suddenly knows how to say “mama” and “dada” - and the day Mac takes his first steps, Amy filming on her phone while Jake is squatting to entice his son? Both parents guiltlessly shed a tiny tear rewatching the video that night after their little one, who suddenly seems so big, is put to bed.

With the walking comes the talking. Mac, like his dad, is an entertainer and seizes every chance he gets to chat with his parents, and anyone else who’ll listen for that matter, and hopefully make them laugh. Amy quickly sees through the fact that her son’s mannerism is definitely inspired by her husband’s, and Amy’s heart swells at every glimt of it: everything from Mac’s tiny ‘big dramatic movements’ to him attempting to crack small jokes (that sometimes are actually super funny but also mostly make people laugh because his delivery is beyond precious). Despite the fact that his personality is absolutely a solid blend of both parents, Jake’s genes definitely conquer everything else, and Amy doesn’t mind one bit. Although she could do without the short, Peralta-inspired attention span, which can be both very cute but also slightly maddening when you’ve told your barely 3-year old toddler 6 times to finish their meal meanwhile he’s to preoccupied by his father cleaning up the water said toddler spilled just seconds ago.

All in all, Mac is a copy of Jake, and in more ways that one Amy is grateful. Especially when the little boy starts getting a grasp of the word ‘love’ and what it actually means though his parents have showered him with it since before he was born. Jake and Amy will tell Mac ‘I love you’ on the daily and, besides this, his parents themselves aren’t exactly shy of telling each other, especially Jake who often tends to do it out of nowhere or any kind of context which the boy must’ve picked up on at some point.

It starts off quite naturally: the first time he says it.

One night after getting him washed down and put into his favorite firetruck-print pyjamas (the parents couldn’t deny him it even though they were far from thrilled), Amy’s sitting with Mac in his new so-called ‘big boy-bed’. Feeling her son’s curly-haired head nestled into her chest, one hand grabbing onto the fabric of her shirt while the other holds onto his best buddy Leo the Lion, Amy reads out loud from one of the many books she’s managed to accumulate for her son. Obviously worn out from the day Mac, as being almost 3 is very exhausting, stays silent and listens carefully to the sound of his mother’s voice, dutifully paying attention to the book’s colourful drawings and even sometimes pointing at them whenever Amy reaches a part of the story that’s been illustrated.

“Then the little puppy ran through the big big field and the big big forest to get back home-“

“Shee, Mommy,” Mac interrupts her with a lisp caused by the pacifier hanging from one corner of his mouth and points to the drawing of the running dog with his index finger. “Doggy runth!”

“Yeah, I see, baby,” she smiles before pecking the top of his head. Normally she’d ask him to remove his pacifier when he speaks. Her and Jake slowly trying to make the object something Mac knows he can use to relax rather than constantly needs, but when it’s this late and right before bedtime Amy can’t be bothered to reprimand him. For now she’s just proud of her tiny, smart guy. “Where is he running?” She pulls back to look at him, encouraging him to explain further.

“He’sh going home!” he smiles proudly to a point where his pacifier almost falls out, just barely clinging on for dear life.

“That’s right. He’s running home to his family - good job,” she chuckles sending him one last smile before skimming her wristwatch quickly realising bedtime is just minutes away. It’s not that they’re following a strict schedule that depends on every single minute and second of the day: something she’s actually glad Jake’s and his more laid-back lifestyle has transferred to their parenting-style. Although Mac, his parents have come to find out, will reach a point during the evening where it’ll be too late and he becomes overtired and impossible. Therefor 8 PM is the ultimate limit (on weekdays, that is) and Amy sees it quickly approaching so she quickly finishes up their story and shuts the book closed.

“That’s it for today, Mr. Mac. Time to visit dreamland,” simply not able to resist the feel and smell of her son’s newly washed curls, she places another kiss to the top of his head before climbing out of the small bed and hears him reply with a yawn which tells her that she’s probably timed bedtime perfectly. To the great delight of the now also tired mother (a high rank full-time job and a toddler will do that to you) she’s once more proved right when Mac gets under the covers without a trace of fight.

“Roshie?” he looks up at his mother with worried eyes as he hugs Leo the Lion a bit tighter. Those stupid beautiful brown eyes he’s inherited from Jake.  

“Oh,” Amy kneels down to the bed’s side and starts running her hand all over the duvet, mattress and bed-frame. “Where’s Rosie, bud?”

Rosie aka. the pink unicorn he’d gotten from auntie Roro back when he was still a tiny baby (though he’d always be Amy’s tiny baby) was missing and they both knew very well that there would be no sleeping without it. Suddenly her hand comes across a bump, to her relief revealing the stuffed animal once she lifts up the duvet.

“Yay, mommy!” her son smiles as if she’s cracked the mystery of the century and Amy can’t help but feel just a bit proud - anything she does that makes her boy happy will do that to her.

“There you go,” she smiles and places the unicorn in his arms right next to Leo the Lion. “All good, Mr. Mac?”

He nods profoundly, eyes suddenly clearly tired and droopy, which earns him a warm smile from his mother before she leans in and kisses his forehead tenderly, all at once running her hand fingers his curls as to get her one last fix for the day. Incredible how your child can become somehow addicting.

“Sleep well. I love you,” she pulls back to take him in, the declaration of love hanging in the air for a few seconds before, taking Amy by surprise, her son answers her.

“I wuv you.”

She knows ‘love’ is an abstract feeling that a toddler can’t really comprehend and isolate as an emotion, which is probably also why Mac’s never said it back before, and although she’s told him a million times before and has never awaited or needed an answer, him saying it back definitely throws her off in the most magical, proud, emotional way in a long time. She’s constantly proud of the little things he does on the daily, slowly becoming a tiny actual human with opinions and a personality, but this is a whole new level.

“Thank you for saying that,” she can feel tears forming in her eyes and throat, but doesn’t want to confuse the small child who’s just begun to understand ‘love’, and therefor doesn’t also need to be explained that crying can also be a sign of happiness. That is an oxymoron that will surely just confuse him when, currently, crying is Mac’s way of expressing and understanding sadness and anger.

“That was very sweet of you and I love you so so much too, baby,” she manages to say it one last time, without breaking, before getting up to turn on his tiny night light and leave. “Me and daddy will be just down the hall watching TV, okay?”

A slight movement from beneath the duvet lets her know he’s heard her before she allows herself to half-close the door and walk back to where Jake is cleaning up after dinner. There she is finally able to let out a few soft cries as she lets her husband in on the small, incredible moment she’s just had with their son. Of course, it instantly makes Jake feel like crying with joy too. Their baby is surely the best.

From there on it’s just one big mess of declarations, at the most random moments and Amy is very amused but also even more enamoured.

One night Jake is away on a stakeout which leaves Amy is home alone with Mac, and to the toddlers immense joy this means he’s allowed to sleep with his mom in her and dad’s enormous bed. Jake has told him to keep mommy safe while he’s gone and of course takes this task very seriously. It’s 3 AM, they’re both fast asleep when suddenly Amy is awoken by what seems to be quite some new weight on top of her chest.

“Mommy,” promptly breaks the silence slowly bringing Amy back to consciousness.

It takes her a second to collect herself but she instinctually reaches out to figure out exactly where her son is in the dark. It’s quickly clear that he’s stretched out stomach down across her chest. “Yes, baby?” she mumbles tiredly eyes still closed hoping that her son is just being restless and will go back to sleep.

“I need pee.”

“Oh.”

This, with a power that almost no other request from her son holds, immediately dawns upon and takes over her body pushing her to sit up. Mac is pretty much fully potty trained but only day-wise. During the night he still uses a diaper, and they’ve only just recently started easing him into the night-potty by telling him it’s an option. The boy showing initiative himself is an absolutely great start and even more importantly an opportunity she won’t let slip by.

“You wanna go use the potty?” she looks at him to make sure and he immediately nods. “Okay, lets go then.”

And so they scurry out of bed and make their way across the hall to the bathroom, hand in hand in the darkness, where once the light is turned on Mac’s potty awaits him.

With a bit of help from mommy, he pulls down his pyjamas pants and diaper before getting settled on the potty. There’s no hiding the fact that they’re both very tired, especially Mac whose head hangs a bit, almost asleep while giving in to his body’s need for relief while Amy sits dutifully on the floor besides him.

“Good job telling me, Mac,” she praises, smiling tiredly but the little boy is too tired to even react.

They stay like this for a while, in silence, Amy not wanting to interrupt a probably concentrated Mac, when suddenly he, to her surprise, is the one to break the silence.

“I’m peeing and I love you, mommy,” he mumbles tiredly almost fully asleep right there on the potty, messy curls hanging in whatever which way gravity will allow.

Then, as if she’d never been tired, asleep, woken up and feeling exhausted, Amy’s body rises to a much higher level of awareness. Warmth, one that completely makes her forget about the bathroom floor’s cold tiles, spreads throughout her entire being and if it wasn’t for the fact that he was currently trying to pee, Amy would’ve pulled him into the tightest hug right there. But she doesn’t, of course, and instead settles for a gleaming smile.

“Mommy loves you too, honey,” He’s her very own bedhead, she thinks to herself lovingly running a hand through his hair. “And I’m so proud of you for waking me up to go potty.”

It’s very faint, too tired to put much effort into it but there’s definitely a small smile growing on her son’s face, When he falls asleep on top of her chest a bit later after he’s done and has been put into a clean diaper, just to be safe, the smile is still there, Amy can tell even in the dark.

Another occasion, it’s safe to say, happens when Amy leasts expects it. They’re running on ‘tantrum from hell: hour who-even-knows-anymore’, this time triggered by the banal fact that, no, Mac wasn’t allowed to play with the big knife Jake had been using to cut vegetables for their dinner.

Everyone has their bad days, the parents are well aware, but this one of Mac’s was particularly bad. All day, from the minute he woke up and went straight to the living room instead of joining his parents in their bad, he’d been extra fussy thereby not feeling content with whichever way his parents tried to fix his mood. They’d been understandable and gone easy on him all day, hopelessly trying to please him while also not just giving in to his unreasonable demands. It appeared that this was very a fine line to walk, and so far it sure hadn’t offered them the intended results. Both parents were exhausted and Mac screaming was far, so very far, from their ideal way of spending the evening in.

Both Jake and Amy have tried experimented with different tactics, some that are known to work. Picking him up to soothe him; ask him if he’s hurting somewhere; offering him to choose one of his daily snacks like a glass of milk, yoghurt or a fruit; suggesting that they play a game…  But the little boy wants nothing. Nothing but that huge, sharp kitchen knife.

“Look, you can cry all you want, but daddy is not going to give you the knife. It’s dangerous, Mac,” Amy’s voice is definitely stern but nonetheless still calm well aware of the fact that screaming as well won’t get her anywhere. Besides that she also considers herself a structured, punctual but nonetheless also a cool mom: nevertheless enough is enough. She’s really had it by now, hands resting defensively on her hips  as she feels a head ache creeping up on her meanwhile her 3 year old, who’s now lying face down on the kitchen floor, lets out yet another scream.

“Listen to mom, bud,” Jake intervenes the best he can without interrupting his wife’s operation. “She’s super right, you know? The knife is very very sharp and in your small hands it can easily slip and hurt you. We don’t want that.”

Another scream is how he’s thanked for the explanation and Jake, even though he loves his son unconditionally, has to roll his eyes and sigh. Logic is not relevant when you’re working with a toddler, he has learned but nonetheless gives it a try every time they’re back in the arena - only to be disappointed.

They try not to be the kind of parents that scold or punish their kid unless it’s necessary and they but alas this is not one of them. Amy has had it and shares a look of confirmation with her husband before proceeding - she needs him to back her up on this.

“Okay, McClane Santiago-Peralta,” Amy says strictly. Full name? This is the point of no return, Jake knows.

“If you’re going to continue to behave like this then that’s up to you, but that also means it’s time for time-out, because daddy and I don’t know how to help you, when you keep screaming like that.”

God, she hates this side of parenthood and this shade of herself, though she knows it necessary.

“Knife!” Mac cries out rolling onto his back and hitting the floor with the palms of his tiny hands in protest of now both the knife and the time-out.

“I’m not going to keep discussing this with you,” she makes up her mind, picks up her son which results in him screaming/crying even louder while also putting up a fight by wiggling his entire body in his mother’s hold. “If you’re not going to go by yourself, like the big boy I know you usually are, then I’ll have to carry you there.”

And so Amy, knowing that the most important thing right now is that she sticks to her pledges, starts walking out of the kitchen and down the hall towards her son’s room. The wiggling continues, the crying doesn’t come to quit and he even adds kicking into the air as she carries him to the mess of it all. He really doesn’t want to go, even less have his mommy take him there since it’ll mean that he’s really pushed her to the limit.

Then suddenly the next wail he lets out suddenly sends the situation down a completely different path.

“I just want the knife and I- I wuv you, mommy!” her son screams loudly through his cry, face all red and scrunched up as if he was cursing her which by nature results in Amy freezing on the spot, left to wonder what the hell had prompted that outburst.

That one was new, she thinks, and how the hell do you handle this exact situation right? On one hand his previous acts, and the fact that he’s still hysterical, means that he deserves to be sent to his room; on the other hand he just screamed, bloody murder, that he loves her… Parenthood was indeed so confusing sometimes.

A sigh leaves her body.

“I love you too, Mac,” she figures he deserves, and always will deserve, to hear it back - no matter how frustrating and crazy the situation might be.

“And daddy does too, but it’s really hard for us to help you when you scream and cry like that, baby,” she gives explaining the consequences of his tantrum one last shot, and, to her surprise, the boy actually stills in her arms and buries his face into her chest. The cries die out before transitioning to small sniffles and alas Amy sees the opportunity to, perhaps, talk some sense into her son.

“We’d much rather have you use your words, tell mommy and daddy what’s actually wrong, rather than having you scream and cry like this. Do you understand?”

There’s silence but Amy can feel Mac’s tiny head slide up and down in nod against his chest, and relief, although it might still just be a false sense of safety, floods her entire body.

“So, what is actually wrong? Why are you sad?”

“I-“ Mac sniffles trying to mould his thoughts. “I just wanted help daddy make food.”

Of course, she thinks internally rolling her eyes.

“I see,” she nods. “And you can help daddy cook, but next time you’ll have to say it like that. Use your words, okay?”

He nods again before lovingly grasping onto a strand of his mother’s hair.

“Good,” she pecks the top of his head. “Now,” she cranes her neck to look down at her son’s face where it’s half buried into her tear-stained shirt. “Do you want to be in your room by yourself for a bit to calm down, or do you want to come help me and daddy clean the kitchen and set the table?”

“I wan’ help,” he mumbles obviously lacking energy after spending it all throwing the tantrum, but if he wants to be with them and redeem himself then Amy won’t be the one to stop him. It took a while, but Amy always tries to remember that he’s still very little meaning that it’s inevitable that some social skills aren’t fully developed. So whenever he can come to his senses, with his parents guidance or not, Amy will of course be the first one to endorse it.

“I’m glad to hear that,” she walks back towards the kitchen with Mac resting silently in her arms.

A third memory that pops into Amy’s mind upon trying to remember the many random moment’s where her son has shared his love for her out loud and of the blue (Peralta-stylez), is one time (of the many) they went grocery shopping together. They’d been wandering around the big grocery store, her and Mac, targeting the cereal aisle, hand in hand with a basket in Amy’s free hand.

“Okay, since you and daddy ate the last of the Fruit Loops this morning we need to get some cereal. You think you can help me with that?” she looks down at her son who’s already looking up to meet her eyes. Mac’s enchanting glimmering eyes instantly light up at the thought of responsibility, a trait he’s definitely inherited from her, and prompts an eager nod. Before she can even say or explain further, which he probably doesn’t actually need her to, he’s let go of her hand.

“More Fwuit Loops!” he exclaims happily as his tiny legs take him ahead, down the aisle, to reach the mosaic of colourful cereal-boxes.

“Sure, if that’s what you want, babe, but maybe…” she walks towards him, "we could try something else for once?” she tries to not be too strict about her son’s eating habits, especially when she knows Fruit Loops is usually the only straight up sugary stuff he eats daily, but also, she has to admit, secretly wishes she could perhaps trick him and Jake to eat something just a bit less… candy-like.

“What?” he stops and looks at her with a frown. “Something else?”

“Yeah,” she catches up with him and looks as the many options before him. “Like… bran-flakes, maybe? They look yummy, right?”

Either Amy is a really bad actor or her son simply too smart, but nonetheless Mac looks more than quite unimpressed when his mom pulls a boring, brown box out from the shelf to showcase it

“I donno want brain-flakes ew, mommy” and the face Mac makes, a face of utter disgust, would be way more solid proof than a paternity test if one was needed - he is definitely, without a single doubt, Jake Peralta’s son - and she definitely can’t help but chuckle at the similarity he constantly carries with him.

The tiny human’s hand starts dancing across all the different packages, probably gathering himself a good dose of various germs that in the moment Amy can’t make herself care about, and every now and then he’ll stop to study a cereal that’s caught his child-brain and eyes’ attention.

“There are so many to choose from, huh babe?” she encourages but keeping her distance as to be supportive of him doing something on his own, independent like a big boy.

First he stops in front of the Cheerios, which Amy can totally be content with, but alas he quickly, to Amy’s chagrin, puts them back in their spot. Then come the Frosted Flakes with their blue box and cute tiger cartoon (the perfect child-trap) which, if possible, are even worse than Fruit Loops. Amy unconsciously frowns at the thought of having to rip the box of cereal from her son’s grip when he in a few seconds won’t let go and instead grab the Bran Flakes. But to Amy’s great relief Mac’s finger continue their trip down past the tiger-trap, mindlessly mumbling small nothings to himself that she can’t quite make out. Then, all at once seeming way more determined than with previous ones, Mac throws himself at a bright and colourful box.

“These!” he exclaims jumping up and down on the spot with the held over his head in victory.

As soon as she gets a closer look, having gently grabbed the box from her son, it dawns on Amy that Jake Peralta being the father of her child isn’t exclusively beneficial. Not when their child is asking for Sour Patch Kids morning cereal and Amy knows it’s because he’s inspired by his dad as Jake will gladly share his candy with his son whenever he happens to have some.

“Oh, baby… “ Amy tries to keep up a neutral face as to not reveal how she dreads to get something that’s somehow even worse than the king of artificial ingredients, Fruit Loops, and sultan of sugar, Frosted Flakes, combined. “You sure you don’t just wanna get the Fruit Loops then? I don’t think you’ll like Sour Patch Kids.”

“Yes I do! I eat them with daddy all the time!”

Of course.

Her son is completely oblivious to her dread and shines proudly thinking he’s pleased his mom by finding something new (which it is - Amy can’t deny that) to have for breakfast. And Amy’s mom-heart can’t get herself to contradict her son’s persuasion of the fact that he’s accomplished the mission she set up for him. No way. Not when his face flows with pride like it does now.

“Okay,” she surrenders with a forsaken smile. “We can get these, but they’re very sugary so only for weekend mornings, got it?” she puts her hand forward as to shake on the deal.

Either it’s the handshake that takes his mind off of it, or her 3-year old actually somehow understands nutritional values, but he doesn’t flinch, doesn’t hesitate to meet her hand with his own, agreeing with her proposed deal. Immediately after she hands him back the box, it’s a mystery to Amy how such a simple thing can make her son that happy, he beams with excitement and basically hugs the box of sugary sweetness. Amy has to chuckle and then he’s off again to do his own little thing, prancing down the remains of the aisle chanting a made-up song, Amy guesses, to himself.

“Cereal. Breakfast. I love cereal. I love breakfast. I love mommy and mommy loves cereal and me and daddy and breakfast. Cereal, cereal, cereal!”

And to her, and Jake’s, sheer luck Amy manages to snap a short video of it for them to enjoy and fuss about for years.

That same night, Friday, they’re all lounging on the couch watching a movie. Tangled as per Mr. Mac’s demand because “Flynn Eugene whatever is really cool and the pretty princess hits him with a pan and the horse and green little thing are super fun too.”

So, needing no further arguments, they watch Tangled and snack on Sour Patch Kids (the candy, not the cereal) that Jake had bought on his way home from work after Amy had texted him about their adventure at the grocery store, attaching the video of their son singing.

Although, after a long day, by the time the lanterns in the movie light up the dark sky while Rapunzel and Flynn sing to each other, Mac is half, almost completely, passed out with his head in Amy’s lap and legs stretched across his father’s. Mommy stroking your face and playing with your curls turns out to be very soothing and sleep-inducing. Jake can also, if asked to testify, agree with this fact. Guess there’s something special about Peralta-curls Amy simply can’t resist.

“Ames, I think he’s asleep,” Jake whispers discreetly throwing his wife a knowing smile when he notices his son’s current state.

She, having not noticed being too busy watching the movie, looks down and sees, indeed, a sweet angel face with shut eyes and pouty lips that indicated that her son is, if not entirely, on the verge of being asleep. Nevertheless, every 30 seconds or so, his eyes will flutter just a bit, like tiny butterfly wings, as if he’s fighting to see the end of the movie - a movie he’s seen 134 times already.

“You want to go to bed, Mac?” she coos leaning down to peck his temple.

“Nu-uh,” he fights off the urge to say yes, Amy can tell.

“You sure?” she tries again.

He nods heavily in her lap, shuffling a bit in an attempt to get comfortable enough to, Amy knows, fall asleep. But he can’t seem to find the right spot, is surely overtired too and both parents can tell it’s a matter of minutes before he’ll give in to either fall asleep on the couch or demand to be put to bed.

And they’re right.

“Mommy,” he mumbles in the most exhausted and soft soft voice that makes Amy’s heart flutter time after time. “I love you but I wanna sleep - in my bed.”

Those three words, especially coming from Mac, will never seize to send a tiny jolt of joy and dopamine through her entire being. She chuckles softly stroking his back.

“That’s okay, baby. We’ve had a long day. Let's get you to bed.”

“Okay, I love you mommy. And daddy. Love,” he passes out before he can finish the sentence and won’t even notice his father carrying him to bed while Amy gazes after them with loving eyes.

Even three years in, four if you count the pregnancy, she can’t believe this sweet, beautiful and smart boy is hers. A bundle of love that is half her and half the man she loves the most (next to Mac himself, of course). Parenthood is an irregular graph with ups and down, but they have so much love that it’ll make up for the bad days and hard cases. In the very end the most important thing is that he, Mac Santiago-Peralta with his brown curly hair, tiny nose and deep brown eyes, is here and he’s theirs. Not only is he theirs but he is his own and he loves them, his parents, so much, every day. Plus, he’s so good at actually expressing it that Amy can’t help but feel like they’re definitely doing something right. She’s proud to know her son is surrounded by so much love that it has planted a seed that everyday blooms within him, making him spill over and spread his care and love to other people.

So, yes, Amy Santiago is 100% sure: she is definitely the luckiest, most loved mom in the entire universe. Mac Santiago-Peralta will always make sure of this.  

[zenosanalytic]

Wonder Woman

Ok, so I saw this yesterday, and I liked it, and I thought it was a good movie, but I felt it was weighed down by the necessity of tying it into the DC continuity, and I found it philosophically unsatisfying in certain particular, idiosyncratic ways.

As a movie and an Action Movie I thought it did a great job. All the performances were excellent. The lack of male-gaziness, the placing of a guy in the traditional love-interest role, the allowance of said love-interest to be a full and complex character which so few conventional action movies with conventional male directors is willing to afford to women characters and actors, was Wonderful.

I could have done without the frame story. I understand why they did it, but it detracted from the film, i think, and they could have made it much smaller and accomplished the same thing. It could have been as easy as having the frame be a question from Bruce at a party, or Diana seeing the picture in her house or at work and remember. Or heck, have no frame at the start and fade from her looking at the picture on the memorial to her looking at the picture in her hand or on the wall or in a museum or something in the present.

I wanted MORE Movie. Yes, I realize it was almost 2 1/2 hours long, but it felt rushed to me; like they didn’t have much time establish the setting, background, and supporting characters in. There were a lot of good ideas there: the motley, dispossessed nature of Steve’s team being a implicit example of how destructive war is; Charlie’s PTSD; the revelation of the horrors behind Steve’s American optimism, but none of these felt like they were given the time they needed, or the development they deserved.

Every action sequence in the movie was in the trailers. This is Bad, and I kinda feel like it’ll alienate those fans who came to the it as an actiony summer blockbuster, though idk how big a sector of the audience that’ll be.

I’d have liked a bigger time-frame for the plot. Excepting the backstory section, the whole movie takes place in, like, a week or two at most. You see Diana go to sleep three times, so it’s possible it all happens in three days.

I don’t think you needed the McGuffin of the gas, and I’d have preferred a full-war time-frame, akin to First Avenger. Diana’s motivation is to find and defeat Ares, afterall, so the war in itself, its scope, and its world-wide, apocalyptic tones, would have been enough to draw her out through her desire for adventure and sense of obligation.

Pitch: Steve crashes, she learns about the war, she decides Ares is behind it and goes to find and defeat him, she confronts the cabinet/high command/whatever to offer her aid, being raging sexists they laugh her out of there, enraged she goes to the front and proves her worth ala the village sequence, now she’s a national figure and command HAS to use her but they use her in ways that keep her out of the main action and away from where the can end the war quickly, through all this she comes to see and learn the nature of war, of humanity, that her allies aren’t all they’re cracked up to be, how hopeless and stupid and wasteful The Great War was, and starts to question her OWN joy in and desire for violence, and what that says about who she is, who humans are, Who/What “Ares” is, and what it means to be good and just. And then you can do your ending, which I’ll get to later.

More could have been done with Etta.

The unashamed inclusion of dysfluency/fillers in the dialogue, both in response to Diana ‘s not-so-mere Presence and just for their own sake, was something I deeply appreciated.

The Romance stuff was Wonderful, and Good, and Pure. I Love that they did the “sex scene” with a simple room walk in and jump cut to their lighted window during the night. I think it could have been better though :| I am going to write-up how I think it could have been better, and when I do I will link it here :| :| Though I might wait until I can rewatch it online so I can make sure I get the dialogue right and everything right.

I agree with @purified-zone that including the Ares bit, and the way they did it, undercuts the really excellent and interesting Existential and Humanitarian message the film had been building up until then, only to replace it with a deeply unsatisfying, poorly done, and confusing Idealist ending that somehow manages to feel both enormously tacked on, utterly out of the blue, and unnecessary and clumsily foreshadowed for much of the movie. I mean, it wasn’t even much of a twist I was like “that dude is totally Ares because the movie so much wants us to believe it’s the other guy and he’s set up in opposition to him” the minute I saw him. I have more idiosyncratic Opinions about this bit, which I’ll get to below.

The Ares effects were really badly done ohmygods X| X| X|

I don’t like how the death of Steve was done, though I don’t really mind him dying in the movie. A WWI movie that doesn’t feature the protagonist and audience losing their dear friends is a bad WWI movie, and the more needless, horrible, and senseless those deaths are the more accurate the movie will be. Every WWI movie should be an anti-war movie.

IDIOSYNCRASIES

I felt the visual symbolism was confused in a few places. Like: you have a bit where Diana, through the power of Friendship, destroys the belltower(an architectural bit that often includes a crucifix) of a church to save a village, because a German sniper is sheltering in it. Then she stands above them all, in the ruins of said belltower, framed by clouds and shining golden light, and is cheered as a hero. That’s a pretty pro-pagan, or at the very least anti-church/clerical, image religious-politics wise. But then you have her killing Ares by floating into the sky, in the crucifixion pose(was she backlit here? I forget) and shooting a beam of pure white light(ning?) out of her chest at him. Pretty unabashed(and action-movie-conventional) Christian symbolism there. Then you have the obvious parallels the back story draws between the Abrahimic God and Zeus, and the “Fall” of Ares and the “Fall” of Lucifer. So the way the movie uses religious imagery is all over the place, and it didn’t come off to me as being meant in a positive and syncretic way, so it was just confused.

And why make the Olympians all dead in the first place? That’s such a dumb and utterly pointless thing to do. You can explain why they exist and do nothing to stop evil in the world as simply as having Hippolyta tell Diana that, after seeing the devastation and anguish caused by Ares and their necessary war against him to stop his destruction, the Gods swore to never directly interfere in the mortal world again. It’s literally that simple, and that would even leave open the possibility of indirect influence and “help” given to Diana by the Gods.

Ok so about the ending. One where there was no Ares would have probably been the best, and played better into the monologue Diana has at the beginning of the film. I think, if they really wanted to though, they could have included Ares in a way that didn’t undermine the movie’s message about existentialism and the protective lies Hippolyta had told Diana growing up.

Like, gods aren’t just beings, they’re ideas personified. They kind of play with this idea in the movie by having Ares “influence” humans towards self-destruction, but they could have done a better job with it. Ares’ motivation could have been sincere but mistaken. As a god of war, anytime and place he would have been able to manifest in the mortal world would have been one of conflict and destruction; simply by being around people, he would have encouraged their violent and impetuous traits. He would have seen, due to his nature, the worst in Humanity. From that perspective, it’d have been no surprise that he held them in the low opinion he did. Zeus tries to explain this to him, he won’t understand(no one ever accused Ares of ebing smart), and that misunderstanding is what leads to the first god-war, his weakening, and his banishment to the mortal realm.

So the conflict between Ares and Diana would be a rehashing of this -him being unable to see the truth of humanity and himself, her trying to get him to see it through the example of her own experiences- and that would have allowed the godly showdown at the end without undermining the existentialism message, and indeed could easily play into it by involving Ares’ own agency, choices, and beliefs in the film’s resolution(which would easily allow an ending without Steve’s Captain America esque death).

I also think playing that “showdown” as a wholly physical one was a mistake. Like, you could have had that be a conceptual battle -Diana and Ares fighting as their divine selves in, essentially, human brainspace- that resolves with Diana “winning” the argument, and is mirrored by Steve or Sameer talking the people at the base out of gassing the front and destroying the armistice; resolving the problem in the real world without violence. You would have Diana’s fight with the God of War be a manifestation of Steve or Sameer’s rhetorical “fight” with the desire for conflict that god represents in the real world, and have in genuinely be a fight for peace, through the methods of peace. I doubt that’d have much connection at all to the Wonder Woman of the comic books, but it’s an ending I would have Dug to see done, and it would have done something genuinely interesting with the whole “god” concept, rather than just having gods be really tough and magical humans.

[maggiedoyle]

2018 in Review

I, along with the masses, feel the need to reflect on the year behind us as we move into a new one. All in all, it was a long and hard year for me, but looking back there were many, many good moments. I went through them today via photos on my iphone, to jog my memory of all the things I did, saw, and took in this year. While likely very boring for you, you can read my write-ups by month further down. I also wrote out the accomplishments I’m proudest of this year. What I most want to share, though, is that this exercise made me feel better and infinitely more grateful about the year that I had! It is OK to feel bad about the year, of course, but picking out the good stuff, the memories and accomplishments I will carry with me — that really helped me see 2018 for what it was and feel prepared for 2019.

This year I: walked a whole lot, with a daily average of 5.4 miles this December; started Couch-to-5K (lol) and can now run almost 2 miles without stopping; met my yearly savings goal; started a regular volunteer gig at Tenants Together and volunteered at the Women’s Building during tax season (hmu with ur housing/tax Qs, folks); fulfilled a years-old dream of traveling to Chile and Argentina (and somehow have now visited 5 continents!); spent my first full calendar year at a full-time job; completed my (albeit measly) reading goal of 12 books in 2018 (my favorite was The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes).  

My resolutions include: new savings goal to meet; run a 5k; cook more (lol); write more.

2018 was a long year for a me, a bit of a slog, really. In looking back at the highlights, I also want to be honest about the downsides and the ruts. I experienced a fair amount of depression this year, more than I ever have; I tried to make big life changes that ultimately fell through; and I cried a lot. If you know me well you know my whole life is an existential crisis, but turning 25 I entered a new phase of it and I’m still grappling with finding my place. But I do believe moving through the rough stuff is important and necessary (as Bright Eyes sings, “your eyes must do some raining if you’re ever going to grow.” A little trite, a lot true). I am so, so grateful for my friends and family who have supported me, listened to me, and reminded me of my strengths when I’ve had a hard time reminding myself.     

Onwards and upwards, 2019 <3

January

Rang in the new year with Leah and Sarah in DC and kissed some macaroni and cheese at midnight. Went from SF to DC and back again for family business (and saw all of my cousins together for the first time in years)— on a connecting flight, witnessed the magic of flying into LA at night. Saw so many DC/Maryland friends at a Mags-in-DC happy hour. Women’s marched.

February

Had a wonderful surprise visit from my dear friend Nacho from Chile; had a magical Dolores day that ended with free empanadas from our new friend Paula. Went back to Big Sur for the first time in 10 years (bless Nacho for supporting me in the most difficult driving I’ve ever done, in Matt’s car no less (thanks Matt!)). Went back to LA and visited the Figure 8 wall, the Museum of Death, and LACMA. Started happy hour tradition with Meredith at the Lake Chalet; sliders and lavender lemonades (lemony snickets). Got my first budget through the Port Commission.

March

Pisco party with Will. Celebrated Pi Day with Katie. Made an Irish soda bread for St. Patrick’s and celebrated with the Stones. Took a while to close out my tab because I was not the only Doyle in the bar that night (ha!). Watched the entirety of Six Feet Under, briefly considered career shift to funeral director.

April

Turned 25 and was overjoyed to be joined by my brothers for their first trip to visit me in California. We went to Land’s End and to Santa Cruz. Peter cooked a delicious salmon dinner for us before my party. Special out of town guests at my birthday included Jacob and Pablo (wow was I lucky!). Got the best haircut & highlights of my life (thanks Ms. Siobhan!). Walked to work on walk to work day. Easter morning mass with Gregory. 

May

This was the month I went to Olive Garden at the Stonestown Mall by myself and sat alone at the bar. They treated me like a queen. Discovered internal family systems with my therapist and reached a turning point in learning to value myself. Was featured on SFGOVTV while my boss presented to the Board of Supervisors and I looked beautiful that day. Biked to work on bike to work day. Started volunteering at Tenants Together. Ate a tacro, it was weird.

June

Baby’s first camping trip to Arroyo Seco with Maddy, Vinnie, Gabi, and Joey. We swam in a gorge and I got a sunburn. Then we went to In-N-Out and camped a second night in the Byrne’s living room because we didn’t get a campsite for the second night. Tradr Sam’s with Gregory (he has far too much video evidence of the debauchery of this occasion). Pride at Dolores Park, someone bought me a rainbow jello shot, I vigorously reapplied sunscreen but drunkenly missed the same spots every time.

July

Freezing SF summer. Enjoyed Mamma Mia 2 (here we go again!) with the biggest Cher fan in existence (love 2 Sabrina) and Molly and Filipa. Got some summertime weather in Sacramento with Leah, where we went to a country club to play in their pool and went to the state fair. Elotes and deep fried cookie dough.  

August

Attended the international dog surfing competition (!!!) in Pacifica. Had my first visit back to Ocean City in several years, ate crabs on my grandparents’ deck and Thrasher’s french fries on the boardwalk. Traveled to Chicago for a hot minute and then to Madison, Wisconsin to see two dear friends, Laura and Ryan, get married. Their song was “This Must Be The Place.” Deep fried cheese curds.

September

Another visit to LA, this time to see Maddy and Vinnie in their brand-new home. Ate so much delicious food (Little Ethiopia! Zankou! Tacos!), swam in the Pacific Ocean for the first time (really swam) with Vinnie, and almost got banned from Dodgers stadium. Runyon Canyon and Point Dume with Matt and Jacob. Met a dog who lives in a laundromat after one of Molly’s shows. Published my first budget book.

October

Hiked the Marin Headlands with Matt and walked across the Golden Gate Bridge for the first time (somehow). Dogsat Stella for the Byrnes. Bought cool new glasses for $15. Canvassed for Propositions C + 10. Saw Roma at the Castro Theatre with Sarah, and Alfonso Cuaron and Yalitza Aparicio were there. Fell three (3) times at a haunted house from being scared (Molly as my witness). Killed the Halloween costume game.

November

More canvassing and phone banking for Props C + 10 (C passed!). The seawall bond passed and I was proud to have given presentations to community groups about it. Beautiful, beautiful Dia de los Muertos in the Mission with Tyler. Incredible, incredible trip to Chile and Argentina — too much to write here — terrazando, carmenere and piscolas, la cordillera, empanadas and choripans, a million museums, amazing views, and incredible company in Nacho, Rodrigo, Santiago, Joaquin, Pipe and Paz and Pablo and more. Wow.

December

Clementime with Molly. Successfully recreated my favorite dish from Buenos Aires, pollo a la portuguesa (she cooked!). Visited Sabrina in Santa Cruz, hiked Buzzard’s Roost in Big Basin and attended the greatest Christmas/guitar factory store party ever. Macaroni Grill (!!!) w Mere. Parties and shows with Joe and Pete, the Building Museum with Maddy, drinks and dinners and lunches and brunches with old, old friends. Family festivities. Rewatched all 8 Harry Potter films in a four day span.