#i have to face my coworkers tomorrow when i know they're going out to celebrate someone's diploma and i wasn't invited

[whirling-fangs]

[[ pointless little munday rant/apology under the cut!! ]]

I just wanted to say: i'm sorry for being really clingy at times and especially as of late. Things aren't going well with IRL interpersonal relationships recently, I've been having a lot of autistic breakdowns at work which make me isolate myself and act rude to others without realizing it, and I figure that's why people are (understandably) rejecting me a lot in return... so I turn to online spaces even more than usual. I rely too much on current plots/threads I'm excited about in order to maintain a good mental health balance ;-;

I'm really sorry for always being up in people's notifications or sometimes DMs/discord, when I should probably give everyone more space (or on the contrary, nurture the friendship more, it's either 0% or 100% with me haha). I know I can't force friendships, sometimes you'll click with another person and sometimes you don't, but I've probably been trying to force things when I should just accept that I can't be BFFs with everyone everywhere. It's not anyone's job on here to help me feel better, friendships should be natural and I can't rely on tumblr for therapy haha.

I know that having only one muse to offer means that scenarios I can write are limited, and I can be very self-obessessed and I probably make things about my muse too much, and I also wanted to apologize about that. It's frustrating when I can't give the people I want to write with the kind of content they seem to really enjoy, but again, I shouldn't try to force it.

Tl;dr: if I've ever misread signs and acted either too clingy or too distant, I'm super super sorry!! i'm learning every day and I just hope to find that sweet spot between enjoying my time here and having a fulfilling real life experience that doesn't make me want to escape online 24/7. I'm working on it. Thank you for sticking with me ♥

[harlowhockeystick]

8. "i've liked you for a super long time" fluff list

this is def officeBrock vibes

he tells you his feelings for the first time 🥹💖

contains: fluff, idiots in love but they don't know they're in love, office romance, fem reader, | office!brock boeser x reader | j's 2k celly

preface: reader and brock work for a law firm, which i know nothing about but i like the idea. so there's that.

the end of a very successful, long series of trials for both sides of the law firm, the entire staff decided to go out for dinner and drinks to celebrate. you didn't plan to stay long, you were looking forward to a three day weekend and getting caught up on lots of sleep.

you sat next to brock throughout dinner, saying sly comments and cracking jokes throughout the dinner. you pretended not to notice when his knee touched yours, when his hand brushed against yours while reaching for another roll from the middle of the table.

"alright, think i'm gonna head out. thanks for dinner boss," you grabbed your purse and began to stand up. "see you guys on tuesday."

"here, i'll walk you out." brock stood up with you and walked with you to your car. a few fellow staff members gave knowing looks to one another. it was evident, to everyone but yourselves, that you and brock were desperately in love with each other. the looks, the giggles in the office, everything went noticed by your coworkers. even a few bets were made on how long it would take you guys to hook up, kiss, get together. and it all went unknown by both you and brock.

"any plans for your weekend?" brock asked as he walked with you to your car deep in the parking lot. you sighed and shook your head, “nope, just gonna relax and catch up on some sleep. oh- wait we still need to finish the lord of the rings movies don’t we?”

“hell yeah we do, what day works for you?” you had reached your car and leaned up against it, putting your purse in the drivers seat. you made plans to finish the movie marathon that weekend, brock agreeing to not fall asleep this time around.

you were about to say your farewell when you just couldn’t help but notice the way he looked at you. “do i have something on my face? what is it?”

brock laughed and shook his head. he was really about to do this huh?

he sighed, “have you ever thought about why we haven’t gone on a date yet?”

brock’s question caught you off guard, but once you processed it, you had finally realized what had happened. then you started to think about it, why hadn’t you gone on a date yet?

“well to my knowledge brock, you never asked.” you said in a teasing tone. “i’ve liked you for a super long time, you know.”

he smiled, putting his hands in his pockets and looking down at his shoes. “i have too.” he sighed, paused, then continued, “so, would you consider tomorrow evening a date?”

“i would. my place, six pm, you bring the food, i’ll have the couch and blankets ready.”

[kellymaher]

December Portfolio - Entry 1

Title: Snowman Pull apart Cake

Date created: 12/19/22

Materials: Vanilla Cake Mix, Eggs, Vanilla Extract, Milk, Canola Oil, Powdered Sugar, Unsalted Butter, Cupcake Wrappers, Premade Blue Fondant, Premade White Fondant, Food Coloring Markers, Food Dye, Red and Blue Fine Sugar Sprinkles, Chunky Decorative White Sprinkles, Cupcake Tins, Plastic Baggy, Scissors, Flat Icing Knife, Rolling Pin, Cutting Board, Two Mixing Bowls, Butter Knife, and a Hand Mixer

Description: A pull apart cake made by gathering cupcakes into a shape and frosting them as if they're one cake and decorating them to look like a snowman's head and top hat.

Inspiration: I've always loved watching those crazy cake decorating shows, they make me happy but they also always impress me with what they're able to do. So I found out about pull apart cakes and I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to give it a try in a manageable way, but also to give everyone in class a tasty treat to celebrate our last class and a good semester.

What I learned: Murphy's Law, lol just kidding! No but unfortunately a lot of people weren't feeling well and class was cancelled so I didn't get the change to bid everyone adieu with a (hopefully) tasty, fun cupcake. Thankfully, it's not a total loss as I'm going to bring them into work tomorrow and I hope my coworkers enjoy them!

On a more serious note, I was shocked at how well it came out. I used premade fondant because I've heard it's very finicky and difficult to make but thankfully the premade was forgiving because I had to ball it up and re-roll it out several times when I kept messing up the sizing and/or trying to get it from the cutting board over to the cupcake formation. I might keep playing with fondant in the future or even (if I'm feeling brave) try to make it on my own.

How this could be used with a client: Personally, I find baking relaxing. Anecdotally, I've found most people are either cooks or bakers. Cooks like to improvise and do whatever they can, usually without a strict recipe while bakers like having a set of instructions and knowing they will achieve a certain results each time. Ironically, as much as I like spontaneity, when it comes to food, I prefer baking. I like having instructions because (especially when it comes to food) too many options makes me grind to a halt with indecision.

If a client is a baker-type, (aka maybe they have anxiety, ADHD, find patterns soothing, or need rewards to encourage them to follow instructions) then this may be a good exercise for them. There is something soothing about just following instructions, not having to think or guess about how something will turn out, so there is consistency, positive reinforcement, and there can even be an aspect of mindfulness or relaxation to adding the ingredients together and stirring them up. Also, once the cupcakes themselves are made, there can be fun to deciding on a design and getting to personalize your own cupcake, or create cupcakes for someone else -after all, when has a cupcake ever put a frown on someone's face? No matter what, it's a bonus that they wind up with a sweet treat afterwards!

[starlit-serenade]

Starry-Eyed Smile | Chapter 3

⭐ Summary: You practically grew up with Youngjo, attached at the hip, two peas in a pod. You did everything together. At some point, both of your feelings became more than platonic, and you both knew it. Everyone knew it. But neither of you have had the courage to do anything about it.

⭐ Chapter 3: 2,096 words

⭐ Pairing: Reader X Kim Youngjo (Ravn) / Characters: GenderNeutral!Reader; Kim Youngjo (Ravn); Lee Seoho (Seoho); Kim Geonhak (Leedo); Lee Keonhee (Keonhee); Yeo Hwanwoong (Hwanwoong); Son Dongju (Xion);

⭐ Rated: E / Warnings: I talk too much about Youngjo’s smile / Genre: Fluff; BestFriends-To-Lovers; Angst; Love Triangle if you squint; Happy Ending;

《 Series Masterlist // ONEUS Masterlist // Boy Group Masterlist 》

The work day has ended. It's been a long and boring day. One of your coworkers was being really rude and exhausting, and now all you want is to sleep. But you know that in a few hours, you'll be hungry for dinner, and there are no supplies at home for a full dinner. So you have to go grocery shopping.

On the way home from work, you stop by the grocery store to buy ingredients. You walk down the vegetable aisle, eyes skimming for something you might need.

"Y/Nie?" You look to your right and see Seoho standing a few feet away, smiling brightly.

"Oh, Seoho! Hello." You wave. "What are you doing here?"

"Shopping? It's a grocery store," he says, laughing.

"Right. Sorry, stupid question." You nod, embarrassed, but he laughs, patting your head gently to tease you.

"Cute," he says. "Don't worry about it. I'm here to go shopping for ONEUS's dinner. We've basically finished everything for the album, and as a reward, we're having a nice big dinner as a group. Comeback is coming up, so we're celebrating that as well."

"Congrats. I'm excited for you," you say. "Are you guys prepared for the comeback?"

"I think so. I think we're ready, but we're still anxious about how it will be received."

You two walk down the veggie aisle together, both grabbing what you need.

"You guys are gonna do great," you say as you examine an onion closely. "I've already listened to 'To Be Or Not To Be' and some of 'Dizzy', and they're amazing. No doubt the others are, too. I know you'll impress everyone."

Seoho smiles. "Thank you, Y/Nie. I think all of the members need that kind of encouragement, especially Youngjo. But I'm glad I get to hear it."

You buy your groceries, and Seoho purchases his. You exit the store together, and as you're about to wave goodbye to him, he insists on walking you home.

"Y/N . . ." he says, as you reach your house. You hum to let him know you're listening.

"How long have we known each other?" Seoho asks. You think. It must have been when Seoho and Youngjo were on Mix Nine when you first met him. You do the math in your head.

"Three or four years," you say.

"Yeah," he says, nodding. "That's a long time, I think. And I think we've been pretty good friends. I know that you're really close to Youngjo, but I really want to express my feelings to you."

He stops and looks at you, and you turn to look at him, eyebrow raised curiously. You have a sneaking suspicion about what he wants to say.

"Y/N, I see you as more than a friend," he says, taking a deep breath. "I like you a lot, both as a close friend and as more."

He watches your expression closely, waiting for a sign of your answer in your face, or a reaction. Anything. Meanwhile, you're trying to think of a way to answer without hurting him.

A moment passes, and you take a deep breath.

"Seoho," you say. You take a breath. "I care about you a lot. You're one of my best friends. You've always been there for me. But I already like someone."

"It's Youngjo, isn't it?" Seoho asks, a soft, yet sad, expression on his face. You nod. "I thought so. I just wanted you to know my feelings. That's good, Y/Nie. He likes you too. I'm happy for Youngjo, and if you need anything at all, I'll help you."

You smile. "Thank you, Seoho. I'm sorry."

He shakes his head. "Don't be sorry, Y/Nie. You being my friend is still enough to make me happy."

"Okay . . ." You smile at him. "Can I hug you?"

He nods. "Yes please."

You hug him tightly, and he squeezes you. After you pull away, he smiles at you softly. Sadly. But not too sad.

 "Thank you." he says, grinning. "Youngjo is lucky. That someone so kind and caring as you is his friend. And likes him like that."

You blink at him, unsure of what to say. He nods over to your apartment. "Now go make yourself dinner. You must be hungry."

You nod, realizing that you are, indeed, hungry. "I am. Bye Seoho!" you say, waving goodbye. He waves back, smiling, as you head inside.

You're cleaning up from dinner, putting away your dried dishes when you hear your phone buzz from where it's sitting across the table. You put away your plate and walk over to see what it is.

Sunny's Dad: Y/Nie

You: Yes?

Sunny's Dad: Can I come over?

You: Sure!

You: Why?

Sunny's Dad: Need hugs

You: Okay, of course! Come over!

You spend ten minutes finishing cleaning up the table and dishes. Youngjo still hasn't shown up, so you make warm tea for him. You know that it helps him calm down and relax after a stressful day.

You have the mug of warm tea sitting on the table when there's a knock on the door. You walk over and open the door. Youngjo stands in front of you. You can tell from the sheepish smile that he gives you, from his shy posture and slumped shoulders, that he isn't feeling great. He looks exhausting, but you can't tell if it's emotionally exhausted or physically exhausted.

"Youngjo," you say gently. "Come in. I made you some warm tea to calm your nerves."

"Thank you."

You tell him to sit on the couch and bring him his drink, sitting down next to him. He thanks you and sips from the mug, relaxing a bit.

"Thank you," he says. "For having me over. And for making me tea."

"No problem," you say. "Is everything okay, Youngjo?"

"Yeah," he says, sighing heavily. You shake your head.

"No, it's not. Something's on your mind. I can tell."

He frowns. "How do you know?"

"Because I know you, Youngjo," you say. "I've known you my entire life. Plus, you just look like something is bothering you. What is it?"

He sighs again. "Our comeback is coming up in a few days. And even though I'm excited and we're all well prepared, I'm feeling very nervous and anxious."

"Yeah?"

"They're expecting so much from us," he mumbles. "After Road to Kingdom, the bar is so high. And I don't want to disappoint anyone. And I just wanted to hang out with you and watch a movie or snuggle or something," he says. "If that's okay. Hanging out with you always calms me nerves, I guess."

"Yeah, of course," you say. "What movie do you want to watch?"

"Anything."

You two end up watching Zootopia together, sitting on the couch together. You two laugh together during the sloth scene, snuggled up as you giggle together.

The scene reminds you of your shared movie nights and sleepovers when you were kids. Especially as teenagers, you two would even spend until early morning watching movies together. Obviously, since you're both much older and are busy with work--Youngjo is a K-Pop idol--you haven't had movie nights as much anymore. The nights before ONEUS's debut with Valkyrie and the album release of Light Us, you and Youngjo watched several movies to calm his nervousness and excitement. The day before Raise Us was released, you and Youngjo watched a couple movies today. Since then, you and Youngjo didn't watch as many movies. During Road To Kingdom, you and ONEUS had several movie nights. But every time you and Youngjo watch movies together, you go back to being a child, watching movies with your best friend.

You smile. You're leaning against each other, comfortably snuggled up to each other as you giggle at the funny parts of the children's movie. After a while, Youngjo falls asleep. He's shifted to that his head is on your lap. You smile down at him. He's breathing softly, and looks so cute. You want nothing more than to run your fingers through his hair.

After the movie has finished, you look down at Youngjo, who's still asleep with his head on your lap. Honestly, he looks so calm, asleep like that, and you almost don't want to wake him up. But he has to go to work early tomorrow, so he should get back to the dorm soon to sleep properly. You nudge him gently, trying to wake him. He groans softly. He looks so cute. But you shake him gently again.

After a moment of your gentle shaking, he groans and binks up at you, a smile spreading across his face at the sight of you, and a little joyful feeling bubbles inside of you when you think about how just seeing you makes him smile like that.

"Movie's finished," you say softly, smiling. "You have an early morning tomorrow, so you should be heading home soon."

He nods, sitting up. His hair is messy, but he runs his hand through it to fix it. "Right," he says, chuckling. 

You help him get his stuff together. His shoes and coat. You smile at him as he waves goodbye, stepping out the door.

"Youngjo," you say before he leaves. He pauses and looks at you, standing on the other side of the doorway. "It's going to be great. You guys will do amazingly. I promise."

"Thank you, Y/Nie. See you soon." He smiles brightly at you.

Without thinking, you stand up on your tip-toes and kiss Youngjo on the cheek. Youngjo blinks, standing frozen, staring at you, and it takes you a moment to realize what you just did.

"What . . . ?"

Embarrassed, you wave a quick and shy goodbye and close the door quickly, turning around so your back is against it as you think over the past ten seconds.

After a few seconds, you hear Youngjo's footsteps walking away. You run to the window, and after a few seconds, you see Youngjo walking away slowly. He has his phone on in his hand. Suddenly, your phone on the couch buzzes, and you run over to see what it is.

Sunny's Dad: Thank you for always helping me and comforting me.

Sunny's Dad: It means a lot.

You smile stupidly at your phone. How strange that someone texting you can make you feel so happy. As you're about to put your phone in your pocket, it rings again. You look to see what it is.

Sunny's Dad: 😚🤭💋

You feel your face heating up, and realize how you're smiling so widely it makes your cheeks hurt. Instead of feeling embarrassment, you feel giddy inside.

You prepare for bed, brushing your teeth and changing before getting into bed, all the while smiling like an idiot while thinking about Youngjo. Thinking about him sleeping with his head on your lap. Thinking about kissing him on the cheek.

Youngjo arrives at the dorm, opening the door quietly and closing it slowly. Everyone should be asleep by now, as tomorrow's morning starts early. He starts removing his shoes and coat in the entrance living room, trying to keep quiet so as not to wake anyone up.

He smiles to himself as he puts away his coat, thinking about how you had kissed him on the cheek. He gently touches his cheek where you had kissed him, and giggles softly to himself. Oh, he really is a fool in love with his best friend.

You've always been his best friend. You were always there for him when he needed you, when he was stressed or sad or worried or upset. You would always hold his hand when he was scared and be a shoulder for him to cry on. You were always supportive of his dreams, even when he doubted himself.

He's liked you since you were teens together, but he was always too afraid to ruin your friendship. He loves you a lot. Both as a best friend, and more than that. But as much as he likes you as more than a friend, but also loves you as a friend too, and he doesn't want to ruin that.

It's strange, he thinks as he puts his shoes away. Even Geonhak has commented on it. He's usually more confident about things. He's usually less afraid to take risks. But he's too scared to ask you to be more than friends. He's too afraid to risk your friendship. Because if you don't feel the same way, what would that mean for your friendship.

"Youngjo?"

He looks up. Seoho is standing in the doorway, blinking at him.