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#i have until monday to get it fixed
altruistic-meme · 1 year
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i love subconsciously doing things in my writing it’s so fun :)
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i may be hungry yes but the anxiety serpent in my stomach is on the move and preventing me from actually wanting to eat
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legacysam · 10 months
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I'm lucky that my job is usually pretty easy, but due to technical issues it was bonkers today and will probably be the same tomorrow and I am ready to throw the entire IT department into a volcano
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vanity-complex · 1 year
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silentchamp · 10 months
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[[Might be around later. Going to an RP event elsewhere and had a sick spell at like...5 am in the morning. my day has been pretty off. we'll see.
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kakusu-shipping · 11 months
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Heartbeat
Mountain's Peak (Part 1) - Nepal Sanctum (Part 2) - Talk it out (Part 3) - The Fight (Part 4)
Here's hoping this is the last bit of Delinquent Zenyatta we'll be seeing for a while!! Thank you for reading!!
In which the heart is moved
Zenyatta had never understood the term "his heart sank". The human heart is a very vital organ that rhythmically pumps oxygen rich blood throughout the human body. It does not "sink", any movement from it's cadge in the chest would be catastrophic for the human in question.
He'd never understood.
A minor concussion, major whiplash, two broken ribs, three more cracked, a dislocated shoulder, a minor wrist fracture, a twisted ankle, and mild frost bite.
That was Emile's diagnosis.
Zenyatta stared passed Mondatta into the human's room, warmth rushing out from the lit fireplace. Emile lay unconscious on a makeshift bed he'd been using now for 3 months, just a pile of hay for a mattress and spare robes for blankets on the stone flooring of Mondatta's home.
"Zenyatta." Master Mondatta's voice brought Zen back from his thoughts. He stared up at his brother who stood before him and the resting human.
"Is-"
"He will be alright." Mondatta assured, "Sister Reya has tended to him the best she can, now he must rest."
Zenyatta gave another glance to the human, Emile, small as he was, bruised black and blue. He looked like a corpse. The grip Zenyatta had on Emile's broken glasses tightened.
"Emile tells me the two of you were sparring," Zenyatta flinched, and prepared for the worse. Exile, he assumed, forced out the monastery and onto the human filled streets of the outside world. He would need to sneak away in the dead of night, or Ramattra would surely follow him. "when he slipped and fell down the stairs."
That.. confused Zenyatta. That was not what had happened at all, had it? They had sparred, Zenyatta had laid his hand upon Emile until he could stand no longer.. correct...? Why would the human... lie..?
"Is this true, Brother Zenyatta?" Mondatta asked genuinely. He believed the human's words, or at least was willing to believe them if this was the truth he was willing to bare with.
Zenyatta hesitated, the glasses in his hand made a faint crunch as what little remained of the lenses fell out.
"...no.. Master Mondatta... That is.. Not what happened.."
"I see," Mondatta cupped Zenyatta's shaking hands in his own, leaning down ever so slightly to be on level with his shorter brother, "Perhaps you can tell me the truth of the events over tea?"
It was warm.. so warm... A soft chime played in the left corner, soft and mournful, a lullaby for someone no longer here..
Emile's eyes cracked open to see the now familiar blurry ceiling of his bedroom in Master Mondatta's home, the soft crackle of the fire by his feet much louder than is usually once when he'd first wake up.
Emile turned to reach for his glasses, which he'd always rested on his left side. His entire body ached at the motion, which turned out to be fruitless as his hand came to find nothing.
"Looking for these?" A voice asked, a metallic hand out stretched and slid Emile's glasses onto his face, "You have impeccable timing as always, human, I just finished repairing them."
"Zenyatta...?" Emile's eyes widened behind his cracked glasses, the Omnic in question sat in a meditative position in the opposite corner of the small room. He couldn't believe his eyes at first, assuming it some sort of dream that the monk who'd hated him most of all would pay him a visit during recovery.
Zenyatta wordlessly assisted Emile as he raised himself off the ground, leaning him against the back wall of the room, as the human racked over possible reasons Zenyatta would have to visit him.
Emile's eyes filled with tears as he came to his conclusion. He'd lost. He challenged Zenyatta and lost and had to fulfill what he'd promised to do. He had to leave.
Tears flowed down the human's face, which wasn't unusual for this particular human, but was still rather startling, "Wh-why are you crying? Are you in pain?"
Zenyatta started to get up to go get Master Mondatta when Emile responded, "I-I'm sorry- I-I said I'd leave when I lost bu-but- I-I can barely sit u-up right now-" He hiccuped and rubbed at his eyes with his one good arm, "I-I'll leave, li-like I said, as soon as I can sta-and I promise,"
Zenyatta suddenly understood the term "his heart sank"
Zenyatta grabbed the human's cheeks, they were so hot, wet with heavy tears, soft and round and so very human.
"You won."
"I- h-huh..?"
"I... Forfeited. Just before you passed out. I lost. You won." His thumb ran gently against the under side of the human's eye, brushing away another tear before it fell, "so.. no more tears.. you may stay.."
Emile breath hitched, his entire body was shaking, the news hadn't sunk in yet. He reached to put his hand on Zenyatta's, only to flinch in hesitation just as his skin brushed Zenyatta's arm. "I-I- I'm sorry-"
"It is alright." Zenyatta kept his hands firm, pushing the human's cheeks together slightly with his force, "You will not hurt me..."
Emile gripped onto Zenyatta and sobbed into his chest. More tears, wet and salty and thick drained from the human's eyes. He was so warm. Had humans always been this warm? Zenyatta wrapped his arms around Emile and held him securely to himself.
"Did you know," Emile spoke as he wove red thread together on his lap, "You make a little chime tune when you meditate?"
Zenyatta looked up from his own work, a basket, and tilted his head, "A tune? Surely I would hear it if I did."
"That's what I thought too!" Emile shifted to turn to face Zenyatta, letting his legs hang over the edge of his bed, "But I caught Master Mondatta doing it the other day and asked him about it, and he had no clue what I was talking about!"
"So.. What, we make music only humans can hear while we meditate? That seems unlikely. Perhaps there is something loose in your head Reya did not pick up on the first time."
Zenyatta stood from his seated position on the floor and cupped Emile's face, rattling his head gently to emphasis his point.
Emile laughed, placing his hands over Zenyatta's, his left wrist still tightly bandaged from their spar three weeks ago. He'd been recovering well, both of them had.
"I'm serious! When we all get together for Meditation in the evening it's like a symphony! I can't believe you don't notice."
"Perhaps because I am busy meditating," Zenyatta pinched and pulled at Emile's cheek, "unlike some little human I know~"
"Oooow!! I meditate!!" Emile pushed at Zenyatta's head in a weak attempt of prying the Omnic off him. Instead Zenyatta doubled down and pinched the other cheek, pulling them both.
"Ah yes now I know the 'Chime' you are talking about, you do it too. It's called snoring."
"Aaaaaaaugh Uncle!! Uncle I tap!! I give!!!" Emile flailed until Zenyatta finally released him with a chuckle.
His laugh made Emile's heart soar and a flush rise to his cheeks, which were already red from Zenyatta's previous assault.
"Brother Zenyatta." Mondatta's voice came with a light knock to Emile's door frame, "You are playing nice with Brother Emile, yes? He is still in recovery you know."
Zenyatta flinched and spun to face Mondatta, plopping himself on the bed next to Emile before wrapping his arm around him, "Yes yes! Gentle as ever, Master!" He waved his hands as a show of innocence.
Mondatta gave a glance over the scene, before picking up Zenyatta's discarded half finished wicker basket with a soft hum. "Good then, though I hope all this playing is not getting in the way of your chores." He extended the basket to Zenyatta, who too it sheepishly.
"My apologizes, Master Mondatta.." Zenyatta held back from pinching Emile's squishy cheeks once more upon hearing the human giggle at his scolding.
Mondatta found himself admiring the quickly closing gap between his siblings. How fast they'd gone from hatred glances to sitting hip to hip. He still wasn't sure how they'd come to this, but he was happy non the less.
With a hum Mondatta motioned for the two to come stand, "Well then, if you two are ready, Ramattra is already outside awaiting us to head to evening meditation."
Zenyatta stood quickly and started to pull Emile up with him, but the human waved him off, "Go on ahead of me, I'll catch up."
Despite the quick relations Emile had formed with Zenyatta, he could tell Ramattra was still holding a distance, one he attempted to cover with a high voice and faked laughs. As much as he enjoyed Zenyatta's company, he wanted to give the monk time with Ramattra as well.
"Are you certain?" Zenyatta asked, "It's no trouble."
"I know. I'm fine, go on."
Zenyatta hesitated for a moment longer, then nodded and quickly was out of the room.
Mondatta watched his brother go before offering his arm to Emile, which the human took and pulled himself from the bed on wobbly legs. His ankle was still wrapped and stung when he'd put his weight on to it, and his chest still ached when he breathed too deeply, making meditation rather exhausting, and his wrist still occasionally seized in pain. All part of the healing process.
Still, Mondatta noticed the way his student would flinch upon stepping, or when he'd grab something with his left hand without thinking. He hated to see his siblings in pain...
Emile smiled up at Mondatta, "Shall we get going? Wouldn't want to be late."
Mondatta looked over his student once more, cheeks flushed red, glasses broken, old bruises littering his exposed skin turning green and yellow, wrapped in patchy bandaging. He wondered to himself if it was right to allow him to stay..
And then he remembered the laughing he'd heard from down the hall, a mix of human and omnic, joyfully playing together with nary a care in the world
Mondatta pulled Emile's robe up snugger on his shoulder, adjusting his clothes for a moment to be sure they kept him warm. He belonged here, same as all of Mondatta's other siblings, because he too was in tune with the iris.
"...Perhaps you should put on a few more layers first"
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synonymouslyyours · 1 year
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#vent#someones giving me a referral for an internship and im so grateful buts its happening so damn fast and i cant get this goddamn cover letter#its my first time writing a cover letter now that i have actual experience to draw upon and its such a different skillset than#the bullshit i wrote before#and youd think it would be easier but i am just so overwhelmed and cannot handle this#i found out about the internship monday. met with the guy for the referral tuesday. and so he wants my materials to recommend on wednesday#but its 5am and i dont have it done yet and im scared ive already fucked this up because i shouldve tried harder but im just freaking out#cuz i still havent done my homework and i still havent done any of my grading work for 17 fucking students and i need to interview peopl fo#project management stuff in the next couple days and i need to fix my class schedule by thursday and its rosh hashana on friday night and i#just cant do it all im not managing to do any of it#but this is huge opportunity the internship is at a great company and its 50 bucks an hour which is crazy and this guy is a great connectio#which i dont have for any other opportunity so#i dont know if i can afford to fuck this up and i just need to get it done but i just cant i just cant do it and i tried to schedule a#career advising meeting but theyre all taken until THURSDAY and the guy really likes proactive people and hes for sure going to have a#lowered opinion of me for not being able to get a cover letter done which is supposed to only take 15 minutes#so im fucked and i fucking hate everything im just so goddamn done with how stressful everything is even when good things are happening lik#whats the goddamn point#ok i think im having an anxiety attack
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kyaruun · 1 year
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i need you to know just how important it is to run to the dentist as soon as you start feeling a bit sick or else you'll end up with a one week long tooth pain cause by the deepest cavity ever that no amount of painkillers in the universe can fix TT
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dirt-goth · 1 year
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how to cope with realizing the infinite "couple more years of working before I can't anymore" have finally come to pass. how to cope with what your mom would call giving up. how to cope with needing help. how to cope with one thing after another forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and-
how to cope with accepting the years have been up for a while now. how to cope with being physically and mentally unable to force yourself to do things anymore. how to cope with the steps and hurdles and denials it takes to get your government allotted amount of "help". how to cope with doing all this at 24.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#i truely have so much anger built up inside me about my job. ive done a very good job of making it unbearable#and after taking a 10 day vacation. plus 2 days of not working bc im sick. i really dont wanna go back#i was planning to take 3 days to not do fucking anything but my boss just emailed me with some time sensitive#logistical things. so like i guess i gotta fucking do that tomorrow. i started reading the email and it made my head hurt#and she started it off like. hopw ur feeling better and i dont wanna cause stress but...#like bro. listen. if u tell me these things u put them in my head and i csnt stop thinking abt them until theyre done. and its not her#fault bc im the one that put myself in a place where im barely keeping it together. its just frustrating#bc it feels like hope u feel better but also kill urseld 💖 but again thats just how it feels bc im so. idk how to describe it im like in a#state of post burnout. im sitting in the ash. alone in a desolate landscape and its like jesus how tf do i fix this?#and i cant even run out my anger rn bc im sick. and i mean i have the energy to run i dont feel lethargic but like i doubt that would aid#recovery lol. ugh. 2 months. thats all. then i move away. assuming i find a place to live lol. bc i currently haven't yet#but whatever. assuming i get better quickly and dont get worse and dont get covid on top of this cold bc my dad got covid#it will have been a bit of a blessing i came back sick bc i have a clear justification for not working and for telling people to fuck off#when they ask for things from me. like today a lab mate asked if i could sample Monday. which it technically#a holiday but i probably would have said yes if i wasnt sick. and i would have had to teach undergrads some bullshit friday if i wasnt sick#instead i just did nothing all day bc i almost moved bsck my flight and didnt leave home until the weekend anyway#i guess its good i didnt bc then i would have been stuck in ohio bc my dad found out he had covid yesterday#idk its all just frustrating bc im halfway in a transition and im not doing very well but i cant do anything to fix things until i leave#the southwest. like i dont even kno if i have health insurance rn. my benifits change request was processed but like does thst mean it was#approproved? fucking idk. so everytime i do anything i imagine a worstcase scenario where i end up hospitalized and damned to an empty#bank account or eternal medical debt. tho my mum said they passed a law where they arnt allowed to do thst to u anymore 🤷‍♂️#whatever. im annoyed. i dont wanna work 😫#unrelated
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hellfireeddiemunson · 2 years
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fuck today honestly im so overstimulated i want to throw a full tantrum on the fucking floor
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astrxealis · 1 year
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i am so exhausted i barely have anything to do for the rest of the school year as in. just a few more projects. and then done. but i'm already Finished af. anyway i hope you all are okay, take care okay <3
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#RAGHHHHhhhhhh ..... i have napped an abnormal amount (personally) the last few days#the exhaustion of. everything ig is getting to me. sobs#uh... i'll finish this one hw and then my parts for this group task and then the test is. ??#notes to myself sorry but i won't even look back to this ik but yeah.#so. message group mates tomorrow for those two tasks. one in the morning b4 class one during free period#i have to deal w the thesis presentation stuff too wtvr the fuck's going on i hope everything will be alright#after this one hw and then my parts for that ... recheck them ofc but afterwards.#nah i should sleep after that... at T__T anyway my goal is to finish basically everything that i can do by tomorrow. which is doable i think#should fix my sleep sched esp b4 june... review for june... follow daily routine everyday properly...#okay. finish this one task finish parts for that one other task. and recheck both.#sleep and message groupmates in the morning. present. message and discuss with other groupmates during free period.#by then i only have... two tasks left for the whole school year + one quiz later. but i gotta fix up thesis stuff w group#alr. okay. i got that.#and i'll work on as much as i can tomorrow (and if i need to. lay off a bit/rest. until sunday)#hopefully hang out with friend on monday. concert on thursday. last day friday#i won't think about reviewing just yet until i finish my#priorities but i need to make sure im at my fucking best then and in advance#anyway hi ... i dont think anyone will read this which idm at all bcs why would you#but if u did uhm hi. hello. have a good day LMFAO i hope everyone has a good day or night or whatever aaa i go now..... sobs#i am very exhausted i think esp since i dont think ive had a proper rest in Ages. and by ages i really mean ages#i dont like napping i dont like wasting time i try to wake at a certain time but often fail but still distrupt sleep#uh i let myself rest on sundays only when going out but it's Going Out and not. just relaxing and doing literally nothing. never#negative thoughts begone!! i refuse to entertain them for now lmfao#there's a lot i want to get to and a lot i need to do but i'll focus on what i need to
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bitchapalooza · 2 years
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Today was chaotic and I was confident enough to speak up about my new work load so here’s to hoping something is done about it that makes it easier and efficient on me
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sluttyten · 2 years
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I hate that I got like so close to the end of the month and then started losing inspiration for kinktober ☹️
#like I’ve been working on this one for days now#and I really do want to write for all the days#but Monday’s the last day of the month and I’m like what a week behind at this point?#anyway I’m going to sleep now#I did write some earlier but then I got distracted watching Halloween movies and planning my outfit for work tomorrow (we wear costumes)#and I have to go to sleep now so I wake up when my alarm first goes off so I actually have time to get ready and not rush to work and get#there late (like I did today) but also I’m really hoping my car is fine in the morning bc on my way home today I realized the windshield is#cracked so 🙃 hopefully if it frosts over tonight it doesn’t make the crack worse#bc yesterday it was just a chip in my windshield with maybe a tiny crack but on my way home I realized it’s like now all the way across my#windshield and also my glovebox doesn’t close anymore#like it’ll shut but as soon as I started my car it popped right back open#ever since last Thursday my car has been not great#I took it on a drive for work and that’s I believe when the chip occurred because a truck carrying gravel was in front of me and I heard it#like hit but didn’t see anything then and then that day the light came on telling me I needed my oil changed#then my dad drove my car on Friday since he works at a car place so he just got the oil changed for me and when I got my car back that#afternoon is when I noticed the chip and then on like Sunday? I think I got in my glovebox and noticed it didn’t really want to shut and#then throughout the week I’ve just noticed the chip every time I’m in the car until today when it’s a crack#and this morning my glove box was open when I got in my frozen car so I closed it and it was fine but I think when I got to work or maybe on#my way in it popped open then i got it shut after work but like I said it popped open as soon as I started my car and my dad says it’s bc#they checked the cabin air filter (which also needs changed) and he thinks that my brakes need to be fixed or something too#like….. dude… why are you falling apart all of a sudden?#just teenager things I guess bc it is almost 16 years old
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jinglyhigh-heels · 3 months
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Wow holy shit I wanna quit work so bad. Please. Let me sleep.
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