#i hope you kinda like this BS ive created ahhaha

[oncefutureemrys]

11,25,28 Merthur?pls🥺

Hello, thank you for the ask! and of course, would love to!

also i am apologizing in advance... this is longer than expected. I'm so sorry truly, feel free to not read this ahah this got far longer than I wanted it to and far longer than you expected and so I'm so sorry.

11: Who tops?

Oh... oh no, you've asked me this question.

This... this is something I'm very passionate about despite being asexual we dont talk about it.

Listen, I don't think this is necessarily a popular opinion, but it's mine.

Arthur and Merlin alternate.

Okay, so I'm sure many people actually have that idea but WAIT lemme explain if anyone is confused.

Season 1-2: Arthur tops. Why? Because their relationship at this point isn't as deep. Merlin and Arthur are acquaintances, somewhat friends but they aren't close close. I have the belief that Arthur tops when we think of physical, but when it becomes emotional? Arthur is a complete bottom. besides in season 2 remember when Arthur choked Merlin for like ten seconds? man is kinkyyyyy

I should say not every episode works with this. there are definitely some episodes that don't fit this idea, but when I think about the overall seasons, I would say that Arthur tops. But by the end of season 2, they are friends on an emotional level. But what do I think pushes Arthur and Merlin's relationship even further, into a much more emotional state? Morgana's disappearance and defeating the dragon together.

They've been through some shit together and shared trauma always brings people together in more ways than one.

Season 3-4: Merlin tops. Why? Arthur asks for Merlin's opinion always, he trusts Merlin more, he depends on Merlin much more. He needs Merlin, he relies on him. And Merlin is there to give it.

Season 5: this one... well, I think they've become close enough that their sex goes far beyond this. They have known each other for ten years (according to fandom i actually dont know but that's besides the point basically: it's been a long time) and they have come to fully trust and depend on one another. But, if I were to choose, I would say Arthur tops. And I say that because their characters have evolved since the first season.

Although Arthur is still uncertain about many things, he has made so many friends since he's met Merlin. He's come out of his shell more and trusted more people. Not only does he have Merlin, but he has Gwen, the knights, Gaius, the people's support. He has so many more friends and he's much more happy than he was when he was in season 1.

On the flipside, Merlin has lost so much. He has lost Freya, Balinor, Will, Lancelot (twice), Morgana (as in he feels like he's failed her) (and Daegal who he loses in season 5) - not to mention, his loss of innocence. He tells Gaius he's "grown up" because he has -- trauma and the pressure put on him to succeed have forced him into dealing growing up early. In a way, he's a lot like Arthur from season 1 and Arthur is a lot like Merlin from season 1.

They've changed quite a bit. If I were to show you a graph of their happiness through the seasons, Arthur's would certainly increase while Merlin's would decrease.

And the way that Arthur constantly worries about Merlin and the way Merlin feels as if Arthur doesn't care, as if no one cares about him - and not only that, that he's fine with it -- really is what makes me believe Merlin desperately needs some comfort, and Arthur gives it to him (even if he doesn't know what he's giving).

oh my god I'm so sorry I really didn't mean to write this much oh dear please feel free to ignore all of this ahhah whjadehjadhhjajde im sorry

25: Who needs more assurance?

Oh, I definitely think Arthur does. Although, I do think they both need a lot of assurance due to that trauma ahaha. I would explain more but I feel that this is already way too long and I'm not sure you care about the nitty gritty details so lets just move on from that ahha.

28: What do they do when they're away from each other?

They try to get something done.

Literally, anything to keep their minds off of each other, they do. Arthur looks through official documents and signs papers, he attends council meetings and listens to his arguing council members, he trains with his loyal knights who understand that he's missing a certain blue-eyed warlock (not that Arthur would ever mention this) and they would try to mess with him more, distract him more, but eventually would stop when this would make him think even more of Merlin.

With Merlin, he would visit his mother or talk with the druids or learn about magic but his magic wouldn't be as strong as it usually was, his smiles would be less wide, more strained.

There would be nights when he would visit his mother and she would notice his sadness and she would tell him to go back to him because even though on the outside these two can function without each other, their souls are connected and their destinies are connected and a half cannot truly be away from the person that makes them whole.

And so they try and they are successful to some degree -- they can function without each other, they've done it before back when they didn't know one another -- but they're also not as strong, not as balanced, not as powerful when they are not together.

idk wtf i just wrote but now i want to write this into a full blown fic ahaha so thank you for this inspiration

anywayyy wejwadkjwad I'm so sorry for such a long askkkk ahhhh wjkajdnkakd thanks so much for askinggg weajdjwdawhd I'm so sorry

send me some numbers and a ship if you wanttttt