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creedslove · 10 months

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WHO KNEW? 💍💔 - PART THREE

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

"You took my hand, you showed me how

You promised me you'd be around (...)

I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me (...)

If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out, 'cause they're all wrong

I know better, 'cause you said forever, and ever, who knew?"

Summary: you and Joel try to handle what happens after you both slept together and a revelation brings the truth about the nature of your relationship with Joel

• This is the third part of the small series: Who Knew? 💍💔 (PART ONE | PART TWO) which was also inspired by this amazing HEADCANON request

Warnings: angst, broken hearts, mentions of divorce, mentions of infidelity, fluff, age gap (Joel is four to five years older than reader and the time skip is 12 to 14 years (Sarah's age) but feel free to imagine whatever you want), smut, oral sex (f! receiving/m!receiving) piv, dirty talking, discussions of relationships

A/N: alright besties, I really don't know where this chapter came from, I had sworn I wouldn't write continuations of this story, but here I am, with a serious case of Joel Miller brain rot and all I could think of was him! I love this story with all my heart and I don't know if this chapter is consistent or not, as it was written through several days and I poured my feelings into it, but days change and so do feelings so hehehe, also, I may or may not have been a little too horny for Joel xD, anyway, I hope you beautiful besties like the story ❤️

12.3k words

Waking up by Joel's side was something you could've sworn it would never happen, it would only become a distant memory as the years advanced after the divorce; you thought maybe you would think about it every so often, when nostalgia got the best of you, if you felt lonely at times or maybe even the moments you would spend next to your ideal future husband, a man worthy of you and your love, someone who would actually treat you exactly how you deserved it, who wouldn't run away with the first willing whore he could find and build a life with her, the life that used to be yours, and was supposed to. No, that ideal husband would never steal from you, not your happiness, your beauty or your youth, as much as you closed your eyes and tried picturing this ideal, ethereal man, you were haunted by your ex-husband. It was his smile that came to your mind when you thought of this bittersweet fantasy; his hands that gripped your body, it was him. You realized your deepest wish was to have Joel as that husband; in an alternative universe where he wasn't a jerk, instead, he would be the perfect, sweet and hard-working husband, just like he used to in the beginning, and you both would love and support each other, building up a life, a family and a home together. That was how things were supposed to go, but everyone knew the end of that story.

What nobody except you and Joel knew, was the plot-twisted epilogue of your story with Joel. Very often, you thought of your relationship as a closed book, a shitty, depressing romance novel that had its indignant ending written and done, with no space to fix things up… until your return to Austin and things simply started to happen. You refused to believe it was a new chapter or a new beginning, quite the opposite, as much as your rational said had begged and screamed not to do it, not to get close to Joel and you simply went there and did it, now it begged you to put an end to it, your mind told you the night you'd spent together was just scratching that maddening itch and nothing more. It would be easy to pretend nothing had happened: Tommy had left shortly after the cops arrived at your place and headed to his girlfriend's, according to Joel. Sarah was absolutely clueless and had no idea what was going on, especially after both you and her dad had put an end to her efforts of setting you both up. All you had to do was to convince Joel of the same: it was a mistake, it shouldn't happen again.

But then, at the same time, why was it so good to wake up next to him? In fact, next to him was an understatement, as you were all over him. Safely tucked into his arms during the night, you had switched positions several times like you often did when you slept, but Joel always kept you at arms length, refusing to let go of you no matter what. It shouldn't feel this good, but it did, and even when morning came and it was time to get up, you pretended you didn't really have to. It was your secret, no one would know nor judge you if you stayed a little longer in his bed, what was the worst that could happen, after all? So the moment you felt Joel stirring right behind you, your eyes closed shut and you relaxed your body as best as you could so he would think you were asleep. It was quite stupid, you were aware, but suddenly you felt shy to be awake in his presence?! It was odd, but you didn't know how to act exactly… were you supposed to kiss? Act as a continuation of the night before or straight up pretend nothing happened? Should you begin ‘the talk' with Joel?! You didn't even know what you were going to say, so instead, pretending to be dead, well actually, asleep, was definitely a better plan. Joel hadn't changed in all those years, you recognized and anticipated every single move he would make; it started by his soft groans the moment he fully woke up, the hesitation he probably felt the moment he eyed you there and quickly the memories of the night before filled him entirely. His morning erection was hard pressed against your ass and that was another difficult part of the equation taking place in your mind at that moment; all it would take you was wiggling your ass a little and you both could start your day in a very fun way. It was tempting, and while you baffled yourself whether to do it or not, you felt Joel again. The way he gently placed his hand on your arm, caressing it up and down, almost in a ghostly touch, a bit afraid of scaring you away; to Joel, you were like a beautiful, delicate butterfly flying into his life, making things prettier for him, but also so easily scared off. He couldn't afford to have you fly away from him once more, not that time. His hand went to your naked stomach, stroking it softly, he enjoyed the butter-like feel of your skin under his hand. After all the cuts, bruises and dirt from hard work, it was a nice change to be able to touch you. He'd had his fair share of touching beautiful women, but none of them would ever compare to you. You were naked under his touch, entirely for himself, a dream that came true at that moment and yet it seemed way too good to be real. Hands that stroked your body leaving a trail of goosebumps over your sensitive skin, as he nuzzled your shoulder, taking some strands of hair away from your neck, he let his stubble beard scratch it softly, lips connecting to your skin, in gentle and silent pecks, ones that made you bite your lips not to moan too loud, even if the goosebumps insisted on appearing, hardening your nipples and sending a wave of lust down your core. Joel had his good ear to the mattress, not hearing if you were letting out small, sexy sounds but he could see the visible signs of his caress on you. He wanted more of it, he woke up with hunger, more like starvation and it was for you, your body, your touch, your presence. He wanted you, and he would have you, not only that morning, but forever, by his side.

“I know you're awake” Joel mumbled against your skin, you could feel his teeth nibbling you, making you squeal softly and moan at his touch, you turned around facing him and raised your eyebrow, heart melting at how adorable Joel's messy bed hair was, even if it was a little grayer now, it still made him look so handsome, you couldn't hold yourself back but caress his curls gently.

“How did you know I was awake?” You questioned him and felt his teeth scraping your collarbone instead of actually answering your question. It didn't take very long for Joel to straddle you, pinning you against the mattress as he took in all of you. You were beautiful, gorgeous, you were his. At least that was what he wanted to tell himself, but it didn't matter the future, not then, because at that very moment you belonged to him and only him. You lay under Joel, your breathing accelerating as you didn't know exactly what to do or what to expect, crashing your lips together, you tugged at his hair - you loved Joel's hair so much - and felt his rough hands running even more freely through your body. One knee on each side of you, preventing you from moving as he stared down at you, your body being the most beautiful piece of art he'd ever laid eyes on. Joel Miller was a man sinking deep further into his passions and he couldn't even hide it or pretend it otherwise. His mouth went for your neck, then down your collarbone, your breasts, so beautiful and tempting as they'd always been, time he'd been so kind to you, and now he appreciated it. He kissed your breasts gently at first, getting to your nipples, they were always so hard and sensitive and it was all for him. Lips wrapping around them, his tongue flicking then gently as you tugged even harder and pulled his curls gently. The way Joel made you feel was always something else, it was so stupid to try to fight that, at least while you were pinned down by his strong, sexy body. When he finally let go of your breasts, he kept moving his tortuous path south down you. His lips were dancing over your stomach, he loved that part of you and had lost track of how many times he'd daydreamed about your figure looking round while you carried his baby Miller inside. He enjoyed picturing it, another life coming out of you, a baby that would be half you and half him, that would bring Sarah the title of ‘big sister’ and seal the happy ending of your story in which you would become Mrs.Miller once more, for real and above all for the rest of your lives. Deep down he knew that wouldn't go further than a simple fantasy, something to lose himself in before falling asleep before bed every night, and yet, it always brought him such joy, comfort and affection within his body, and at that moment, when he was kissing your womb, his hands holding you legs spread as he took his time in kissing and nibbling your lower stomach, he closed his eyes and made that irrational wish, practically, that wouldn't do, not in real life, not with your history weighing heavily on the two of you, nor with your life styles that were so different from each other's. He worked too much, Sarah was already growing into a teenager, you were inexperienced at that matter at the same time he was getting older and was certain that having to watch a baby and later on a toddler would absolutely kill his back. But if it was so impractical, it should be so sweet at the same time. It would be a lot easier for him to keep those stupid thoughts out of his mind. When Joel got closer to your core, you wanted to tell him to stop, to remind him that you didn't use protection at all and you'd been missing up the pills, warn him there was maybe some probability of you both making that situation even more of a mess than it already was, but the words died out in your mouth, the moment Joel's eyes matched yours, the pool of brown warmth making your heart skip a beat at the same time he parted your legs, giving your inner thighs each a love bite, and your breathing accelerating once more in the anticipation of what was about to happen.

“Relax, baby girl” he purred against your skin, he was so close to your core you could feel his breath fanning your sensitive area, his hands gripping the outside of your legs in a way it was clear he was claiming his power over you. You were about to be devoured by a hungry man and at that, your heart raced like no other, just as Joel reached you.

His lips ghosted over your slit, loving how shaky and sensitive you were at that moment, head shoved between your legs he took his hands into action, using them to spread your lips wide and groaned in approval of how sexy that view was. Ever since you married Joel, being intimate with your husband was something normal and natural, expected even, and whereas you weren't a prude by any means, the way Joel touched you or how filthy that mouth could be always made you go red from head to toes, especially when he simply stopped at stared at your body like that.

“Fuck baby, you still got the same pretty pussy I remember, it's the best one I've ever seen, you taste so fucking good, this sweet clit of yours had always made my mouth water” he teased as you could barely hear his voice through the adrenaline making all that blood pumped so loud into your ear. He spread your pussy lips open, his cock was already twitching to see your cunt twitching for him. The way your clit twitched in anticipation and your hole clenched at the air, how your wetness simply pooled in your entrance and it was all for Joel, because of Joel and he wasn't going to waste another minute before having you. You closed your eyes the moment he kissed your clit, kissing it as he would with your lips, all you could do was whimper and once more grip your hands into his hair pulling his head against your pussy, wanting more and more. At your touch, Joel stopped playing around, he simply sank his face into you, devouring you, licking, suckling and flicking your sensitive clit, lapping at your juices so hungrily, like a madman having his favorite meal. Joel's hands were large and his fingers were thick, so the moment he inserted two digits inside, you were already filled with him, the way he ate your pussy and fingered you, the knot forming down your lower belly, you barely had time to warn him, but it wasn't necessary, Joel knew your body well enough to know you were cumming, getting so nice and ready for him he continued, until you exploded into an intense and long orgasm, in which he tried to make it last for you as much as he could.

After your bliss, it didn't take very long for him to slip inside, now that you were all wet and stretched for him, you wrapped your legs around his waist and closed your eyes in pleasure. Your nails scratching down his broad back, his skin warm and sweaty on top of you. You wanted more of him, at that moment that was you favorite place in the world, primal, obscene, his grunts into your ear as he fucked you like he would any whore. At that moment you couldn't hold back your desires, your lustful thoughts took the best of you. If Joel asked you to be his personal cum dumpster, you would say yes. And at that realization, he came inside, once more, just like he did the night before and you loved it.

Suddenly the exhaustion took over you, your body and your thoughts and it seemed like an impossible task to keep your eyes open.

“Sleep, baby girl, relax” Joel whispered against your ear once more, pulling you closer, the two of you appreciating the lovely bliss you shared after your orgasms. It felt right, even if it shouldn't.

•••

When Joel woke up that morning for the second time with you tangled in his arms, he smiled at himself, wondering how lucky a motherfucker like himself could actually be. The past hours replayed in his mind, over and over, and he still didn't believe they were true, simply because they were too good to be true in the first place, still the reminders of how true it all had been were there: the pink fading lines you left all over his skin were still apparent, your clothes scattered around the bedroom floor, the way your hair invaded his pillow and now you smell lingered all over his bedsheets. It was real, and he couldn't be happier. Watching as you exhaustively slept, he dragged himself out of bed, not really wanting to leave but knowing he needed to start his day somehow. So he just planted a soft kiss on your forehead and headed to shower before going downstairs, as he needed to get breakfast ready for his girl.

You on the other hand, slept without even noticing you, being so exhausted after another steamy session with Joel; when you woke up nearly an hour later, you felt his side of the bed empty and for a split second you sighed disappointed at the impression it'd been just a dream, which only lasted until you could feel that bittersweet soreness between your legs, the mess Joel's room was in and how sticky you were with sweat and some of your juices mixed up together. You bit your lips and giggled, you thought you'd wake up full of regret, feeling guilty and upset about what happened, but turns out you felt great, perhaps, all you needed to decrease that upsetting feeling of melancholy you often grew inside was a good fuck provided by the best man you'd ever tried.

You yawned big and stretched, getting up and feeling that familiar sting between your legs, a reminder of Joel's virility and size. As you weren't sure what to do or where Joel could be, or even worse: if Sarah was home at all, you decided to be as silent as possible, your wish was just getting dressed and going downstairs, but the moment you saw your reflection in the mirror you knew you had to shower. It didn't take too long to find Joel's bathroom, you got yourself under the shower stream, groaning at how your muscles relaxed under it, the way the knots on your hair seemed to undo themselves. You chuckled while soaping your body in Joel's soap, shampooing your hair with his shampoo, smelling entirely like him, as if he'd marked you like an animal would. Perhaps you shouldn't enjoy this obscene thought as much as you did, but at that point that ship had sailed and you couldn't care less about it. Stepping outside the shower, you dried yourself and went through Joel's drawers just enough to find something comfortable to wear - one of his boxers and an old shirt.

“Joel?!” You called him at the top of the stairs, hoping you two were still alone there, as you really didn't want to risk being seen in those - lack of - clothes by Tommy or god forbid, Sarah.

“In here” Joel replied, his voice coming from the kitchen and as soon as you got downstairs you were hit by the delicious smell of coffee, and just as your stomach growled in hunger you realized you couldn't even remember your last meal.

You followed the delicious smell and smiled when you saw him flipping a bunch of pancakes, frowning softly at the image, it was so odd to see Joel being so domestic, cooking breakfast when in reality, you were the one who usually got to do all the cooking and chores, not to mention the choice of menu for the breakfast.

“You don't like pancakes!” you said surprised as you approached the stove to confirm if you weren't seeing things, being surprised by the way Joel wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer, greeting you with a peck on the lips, which you didn't expect but you couldn't complain either.

“I don't, but you do, and you deserve it, baby girl” he stroked your sides as he kept flipping pancakes with his free hand like a damn pro. You could only imagine how many times he had to step in and make his daughter pancakes until he got that skilled at that. You looked at him and as if he'd read your mind, he pecked your forehead this time

“Sarah is at her friend's which means she's only coming in the afternoon, you can hang out, maybe we can grab lunch together and then I'll drive you home, fix your door and all..” he said and stared lovingly at you “if you wanna go, otherwise you can stay here” he winked and made you chuckle.

“Joel, about us, about what happened-”

“Don't do that now, darling, let's not upset ourselves, let's have breakfast together and we can talk about it later”

You could tell Joel was postponing the subject, it was simply inevitable to talk about your future together or lack of it, due to your history, what happened between the two of you should be addressed, and even if you had been as willing as he was, it was a fact you weren't so easy to convince that perhaps being together was a good idea. However, he was also right: you could discuss things later, because at that moment you just wanted to have breakfast with Joel; damage had already been done, so what if you two continued to act the way you were? If anything, if you two parted ways, you would simply still have a nice time to cherish, to balance the ups and downs of your relationship together.

You two walked to the table, Joel placed the pancakes down and got comfortable on the chair, taken by surprise as you simply sat on his lap, instead of taking the seat next to him. You looked at him with a grin and stole a peck from his lips

“What?! You said we should have breakfast first” you giggled and started eating, at the same time his arm wrapped around your frame and he pulled you even closer. You couldn't really complain about that breakfast, it was the best you've ever had in so long, and it had nothing to do with pancakes.

•••

During daylight it was possible to see the damage the thieves left in your home; not only did they steal valuable things, but they also left a trail of mess and dirt through the floors, making you feel so angry at the shit hole they'd left your house. As soon as you got off Joel's truck, you could see cleaning, fixing and buying things again would take a long time, and even if you had the best contractor around town next to you, you still had to do chores. He placed his hands on his waist, furrowing his brows while he scanned the room, thinking of what he should do. You quickly changed into more comfortable clothes, grabbing a mop and a bucket and began cleaning up everything you had to, you reminded Joel he could make himself at home and grab drinks or snacks, since it was the least you could do after he'd been so kind to help you - and fuck you raw morning and night.

Once you'd finished your chores and showered quickly to get rid of the sweat, you went downstairs, looking for Joel. He had fixed a few things here and there, things you hadn't even noticed, but the moment you walked down the stairs, he was fixing your door.

And you were not prepared for that sight, at all.

Not with how Joel's shirt was clinging tight to his body, damp with sweat, the way his jeans looked so good around his thighs and his butt, or how he flexed his biceps unconsciously while he forced the warped wood forwards, the soft grunt he let out and how his huge hand wiped the forehead off his forehead was enough to set your core on fire. You stood there, at the bottom of the stairs, gripping the handrail and wondering when you'd become that thirsty for a man. Even when you had relationships after your divorce, you couldn't remember being that easily turned on, but at that moment, a mere display of Joel's roughness was enough to pool your wetness on your panties. He was just so mainly, so strong, something primal and intense about that man's body, he was different from any man you'd met, and the years only added to it, you were so tired of fighting your urges and feelings. Yes, Joel had been the worst husband a woman could've asked for, but just because you wanted to crazily ride on his cock, it didn't mean you would have to marry him again, definitely not. Joel wasn't a good husband, but he was a damn fine lover.

“I didn't see you there” you jumped at Joel's voice, distracted by it as he snapped you out of your lustful thoughts, nodding at him and smiling nervously. He cleared his throat “I'm guessing you want to talk, don't you?” There was a slight hint of disappointment in his voice and you thought for a while

“Yeah, we need to talk, just… take a seat, I'll get you some water” you pointed at your couch and disappeared into the kitchen, finding Joel standing still when you returned with a fresh bottle of water for him. He hadn't moved, something inside of him telling him not to, some kind of superstition, that maybe if he sat down he would go back to the poor reality of his life, a life without you, your touch, your caress. As long as he stood up, he could always find something to do around your home and then spend a little longer by your side. He took the bottle with a nod in gratitude and took a big sip of it, at the same time it seemed you were watching an erotic movie just by the way your body reacted to the image of his neck, the way his veins pumped as he swallowed his water, showing his thirst, and to think just a few hours before he was eating your pussy with the same ferocity, made you press your thighs together. You needed that man, and you were going to have him, no matter what. To hell with needing to have a serious chat, to move on with your life and not forgetting the past, you needed him carnally. Joel finished his water and finally walked to your couch, taking a seat and spreading his legs, just like he often did to find a comfortable position. You hated when men did that, taking up space and being rude, but not Joel, the way he did it was hot, it reminded you of how big he was, his long legs, big, strong thighs, so perfect to ride, and his frowny face, you could tell he was worried, probably thinking you would just thank him for the help, tell him what happened between the two of you couldn't happen again and ask him to leave. Hiding the heartbreak under his mean face, little did he know that conversation would have to be postponed, because your mouth was about to be too busy to talk.

“You want to talk, right?” He asked, nervously running his hands through his jeans, watching as you took another step closer and nodded.

“Yeah, but we can't talk right now… I'd rather use my mouth for something else” you winked at him, falling onto his knees and began caressing his thighs over his rough jean, smirking at his surprised face, hands fiddling his pants as you opened his fly and bit your lips

“I need your cock now, Joel, I need you in my mouth”

He was taken aback by your sudden change of behavior, he'd sat down expecting to be told to leave, but now he had you on your knees begging for his cock and that was something he couldn't deny. His left hand gripped your hair, tilting your head up a little, while his right hand stroked your cheek gently, his thumb ghosted over your lips, tracing an invisible path on it as he nodded. Suddenly, roles were reversed: he wasn't waiting for you to stop and decide what he should do, instead, he was in charge and he was about to make you choke on his cock.

“So pretty, baby girl…” Joel's voice wasn't much more than a whisper “you want my cock, don't you? Just like a filthy little slut, you wanna choke on it? Want my cum down your pretty throat?”

All you could was nod at his filthy words, Joel's mouth could drive any woman inside without any physical touch, just his dirty choice of words was enough to cause a turmoil of feelings and increase the pool in your panties. He lifted his hips and pulled his pants down, freeing his cock, already hard and held it by the base, while you licked your lips. You could see his tip glistening and closing your eyes as Joel rubbed his tip against your lips, before you opened it and took his cock into your mouth. Joel threw his head back and groaned in pleasure, he could feel his balls quivering while both hands flew to your hair, gripping it as you bobbed your head up and down his shaft, your hand squeezing and stroking his cock up and down where you couldn't reach his length. You'd always loved Joel's groans, the way he sounded so voracious, you clenched your thighs together, trying to give your throbbing clit some sort of relief. He guided you through his blowjob, he hadn't gotten a good one like that in years; of course he'd had his affairs, nightstands and such, but no mouth in the world compared to yours at all. He praised you, reminded you were his favorite cock slut and he wouldn't have any other than you.

You could feel by the way he clenched in your mouth his release was close, he was about to unload and you wanted to swallow all of him. So you continued, even when Joel tried to lift your head gently and warn you, you didn't need any warnings, you simply continued blowing him until he was cumming into your mouth. He reached his orgasm with another grunt, at the same time you worked your magic and swallowed every single drop of him. The way his cock pulsed inside of your mouth, how his breathing got rapid, his chest raising up and down at a fast pace, it was the sexiest thing you'd ever seen. Joel Miller was a strong, manly man, and you loved it.

He finally rested his eyes on you, his hell and heaven on earth, and he just needed more of you, convinced that whatever he had of you just wasn't enough. He helped you up, then pulled you to his lap, making you squeak in surprise as you landed right on top of him. You rested your forehead against his, while he pressed your body closer, never wanting to let go. He pulled you for a kiss, your lips tasting like him, sent Joel another wave of lust and need; he kissed your neck, his hands fiddling with your clothes, getting rid of them as he wanted you bare for him, your body on his, naked; he wanted to take you inside your house, not just some dirty, rushed secret locked in his room, but instead, claim you in any room of your home, if you ever wanted to break with him and decide he shouldn't be part of your life any longer, then at least he would leave his mark knowing each time you walked into any room, you would think of him, reminded of the time Joel fucked you and emptied himself inside of your tight juicy cunt.

“Come on, darling, ride my cock” his rough voice commanded you at the exact time Joel's hand pulled your shorts and your panties down. He went for your ass, massaging it, squeezing your cheeks and slapping it a couple of times, seeing it wiggle softly

“You're so fucking hot, you know that, sugar? Only you can make my cock throb the way you do” he praised you. His fingers traveled to your cunt, caressing it for the second time that day, making you spread your legs as wide as you could over him. He stroked your clit, feeling your arousal pooled in your entrance, it was intoxicating to him, he needed you every single day for the rest of his life. He gripped your hips, helping you lift yourself up and as held his cock in place and sank down onto it.

“Just like that, gorgeous, take that cock baby girl” he praised you.

You spent the rest of your afternoon riding Joel on your couch, not giving a single shit if any of the neighbors could see it through the curtains or the mere fact Joel had given you the worst heartbreak of your life; you needed him as much as he needed you, and it seemed neither of you could let go.

•••

The following days went by exactly the same way they usually did: you either worked from home or you went to the office a few times a week, you went grocery shopping, led a quiet, normal life, received Sarah's visits almost daily with the exception you were also seeing her dad without her having any idea. In fact, no one apart from you and Joel knew what was going on, and neither of you had any intention of changing that. Being completely honest, you should have broken things up with Joel the morning after, but each time you decided to do so, you simply couldn't get it done, the mere thought of standing in front of Joel and asking him to stay away from you was devastating, even if you turned to your memories of the day you found out Joel was in love with Angela and didn't want to be with you any longer couldn't help you. Of course they were as painful as if they were fresh, but at the same time it also felt like it happened between two completely different people rather than you and Joel. It was so difficult to process that Joel and your current Joel were the same, because deep down your heart claimed they weren't; the Joel you were constantly hooking up with was a hardworking, a great father, he was caring, sweet, he was passionate and he treated you as if you were the best thing he'd ever seen in the whole world. He'd become a closed man to relationships due to the guilt he felt for treating you the way he did and the abandonment he suffered from Angela. As much as that sounded twisted, the fact you were both abandoned by people you loved, also brought you closer, especially because he got to know exactly how you felt, which increased his guilt. It was terrible, but he was aware he was probably going to carry that for the rest of his life; even if he watched you smile and laugh, or if you wrapped your arms around him, underneath the joy and excitement he felt within, there would always be a tad of guilt just like a bitter taste in his mouth, reminding him of his coward attitude and how much better than him you truly were. As you had told Joel while you still hadn't crossed the line of how far your relationship should go, the problem wasn't the fact he fell in love with Angela, that could've happened to anyone, even if the sting of rejection hurt, being tricked and lied to was way worse than that. Even if it was hard to recover from the pain - if you had even recovered at all, after all, more than a decade went by without you being able to have a commitment to anyone, unable to stay in a relationship for more than other a few months, - you could only imagine Joel's experience was even worse; not only his relationship with Angela ended, but she also cut her ties with her own baby daughter. The disappointment he felt to realize his daughter would have to grow up without her mom, the paralyzing fear of being on his own to raise a baby, must've been intense. And even if some people could actually laugh at how funny life can be and swear there was still some kind of divine justice lurking around and he was simply paying for everything he'd done to you, you couldn't find the amusement in that situation, it was so sad, you could only feel pity. It seemed to you the years had turned Joel into a silent companion of pain, and not so much into the villain you'd projected onto him.

And all that was only the rational side of the story, because if you left it all to your feelings and desires, you wouldn't be able to leave his bed. Perhaps you were both feeling an overloaded amount of everything you had repressed for each other over the years; being able to externalize it was addictive, at first it was thought to be an inch you both needed to scratch, but soon enough it became obvious it was way more than that, which caused you to fall into his arms whenever you tried to make things easier for the two of you and simply let this condemned relationship go.

As you closed your laptop and watched Sarah's brows furrowing at the paper in front of her, in a mixture of focused and cranky for not being able to solve another math problem easily, she reminded you of Joel and how he would get the same way and have the same expression whenever he got frustrated with something not going according planned. You gently placed your hand on top of hers and offered her a reassuring smile, Sarah had had her nails done by you earlier, proud to see how pretty the sparkly color got on contracts with her skin. She was such a beautiful girl and you enjoyed being able to help her discover that, by introducing simple things like that, which meant the world to her, since she didn't have a mom around, it was nice doing stuff like that with someone experienced who could give her advice on school, friends and boys. She really appreciated it and if it were for Sarah, she would find a way to set you up with her dad and become one small family.

“you should have a break, you've been stuck in this question for a long time, try again later” you advised her and even if she sighed in a gruff way, - again, so Joel Miller coded - she nodded, closing her notebook and checking up her nails discreetly, which brought a warmth into your heart.

“So…” you started, hoping you would sound convincing enough and not raise any kind of suspicions from her, after all, that girl was smart “...you told me your dad is coming to pick you up, right? When he does, invite him inside so you guys can have dinner with me” you suggested, even if you and Joel had already agreed on it. You hadn't been able to see each other in a few days let alone touch each other, which was actually what you both really wanted, so all the options you got were texting like a bunch of horny teenagers. Now, sending nudes to a guy was something you would strongly disagree several months ago, but now? Each time your phone buzzed, you rushed to it, in hopes to get yet another picture of Joel's big hand holding his cock by its base, so you could lock yourself in any room and pull down your bra and panties, exactly the way he liked it. So spending some time around Joel even if you both had to play it cool was better than nothing. Sarah agreed but still felt a little puzzled at your suggestion.

“Alright… but why? You're regretting saying no when I tried to set you up?” She chuckled and you rolled your eyes, hoping you weren't so obvious. You moved to the kitchen and invited her to come along, so she could help you with dinner. You opened the fridge and had your back to Sarah, while you picked the meat and the vegetables.

“No, it's just that your dad was so nice to me, he fixed my front door after the break in, it would be a nice way to repay” you said “why do you even say that?”

“I think dad has a girlfriend or something…” she shrugged and you stopped, looking at her and trying to control the shock over your face.

“Y-yeah? And how do you know it?”

“Well, dad's different now, he seems happier, more cheerful, he's very often texting on his phone…”

“And what do you think of that?”

“It's nice, I guess” Sarah licked her lips “dad deserves to be happy, he's been lonely for a long time, ever since my mom left…” she said “but uncle Tommy says dad was sad before that, apparently there was another girl before mom, it didn't work between them or dad made her go away, I don't know why, but uncle Tommy told me once that even when he was with my mom, he couldn't forget about her an-”

“What happened then?” Only after you said it you realized you interrupted Sarah and sounded a little crazy, she didn't understand why you were so into that story after all, but seeing how eager you were to hear the ending of it, she continued.

“Well, according to uncle Tommy dad never forgot that girl, but she was way out of his league by the time my mom had left, so my dad sort of gave up dating” she shrugged “then my dad got home and interrupted uncle Tommy when he was about to tell me the full story, and he never spoke about it since” she replied with a simple shrug and pointed at the meat you were about to roast

“Hey, that's my dad's favorite!” She said amused at the coincidence of menus which you knew damn well that wasn't a coincidence, but your treat to Joel. As you kept cooking with Sarah's help, you also thought about the story she'd told you, too many things happening at once: finding out Joel had never forgotten you while his daughter was sure he had a mysterious girlfriend, which of course, was also you.

During dinner, you tried your best to forget about all of that, the way Joel and Sarah fit so well in that scene, the three of you at the table, eating and sharing how your days had been seemed like a beautiful painting of a perfect little family. A portrait of what things could've been like, or should have been like, and you enjoyed it, you couldn't deny it at all. Your gaze met Joel's and you shared a smile, silently agreeing you were spending a family time; you wondered if some day that would actually happen and if you would indeed be a family with Joel, sometimes you thought you would like it, and sometimes you would brush it off as some momentary lapse. But when he reached for your hand under the table and held it, caressing your knuckles with his thumb, your heart raced one more time and you couldn't help but allow yourself to picture a life by his and Sarah's side.

When you were all finished, Joel gladly dismissed his daughter from having to help with the dishes and the moment you two noticed she was fairly entertained with the new books you'd bought, he stole a kiss from you. It was quick but sweet and as much as it left you all giggly and blushing, it wasn't enough. Your need for Joel was overpowering, it was addictive, and you needed to touch him. Nothing would happen between the two of you while Sarah stood just a few feet away, Joel would never risk being caught that way, he respected his daughter too much, but he would kill to have his hands all over your body. He thought of asking you on a escapade with him, but he wasn't sure if it was a good idea, not with Sarah being a little suspicious of how friendly you were acting towards each other. He wondered if he could actually call you his girlfriend, if he could admit he was dating you, because that's what it felt like, but then, if you both came clean about the situation, it would get complicated, not only for him because of Sarah, but he was well aware you would be in a tricky situation with your family, since he knew for a fact your parents hated him, - with plenty reasons to do so - eventually, you would two would have to have the talk. Now, Joel didn't fear not being with you any longer, he knew that wouldn't happen, you were as attached to him as he was to you, but eventually, you would have to define that situation. He knew he could be cold and distant, but it was so damn hard for him to hide his passion, the way he leaned against the doorframe and watched as you carefully put the dishes away, looking every bit of sexy as you could be, not that young and naive little wife he kept at home before he screwed things up, but instead, the powerful, beautiful woman you grew to be.

Sarah was incredibly smart, but she was also naive at some level, which caused her to be oblivious to the fact you called Joel into the backyard at some point, asking him to check something up you wanted it fixed, only to pull him closer and kiss him deeply, gripping his body, wanting him to engulf you like he always did, your nails gently scratching down his back while his lips ravished yours.

“I want to spend the night with you so bad, baby girl” he whispered against your lips “you're so good to me, you treat Sarah like a princess, you cooked us my favorite meal, all I want is to show my gratitude by getting lost between these beautiful thighs” he teased and for a split second you felt like telling him to stay the night, to come clean and tell Sarah you were dating, dating as if you two were pretty much a decade younger and so eager to be in each other's arms, but it couldn't happen that way, not like that, and not at that moment. You nibbled his bottom lip a couple of times before letting go, your body tingled for him, aching for his touch and as he told you he would call Sarah to go home, you felt unannounced tears flooding your eyes for no reason. Why did things have to be so complicated, why Joel couldn't have been this good from the beginning? You could've lived more than a decade of happiness together, if it weren't for that.

As they said their goodbyes, you watched Joel's truck disappear from your eyesight, a pang in your chest insisting on saying it was your family leaving while you played too hard to get.

•••

You had never seen Sarah smile that wide as she did while you two walked around the mall; side by side, a bunch of bags in hands as you spent such a simple, and yet incredible quality time together. For her, it was like hanging out with the mom she never had, and you felt as if you were shopping around for the daughter you could never conceive. It didn't matter where you were going, which stores you were checking and not even exactly what you were buying, just the fact you were doing that together felt incredibly special. It all began when Sarah complained about not having what to wear to the Harry Styles concert in the upcoming week; after months of begging her dad and uncle Tommy, she was given a ticket to the presentation she'd been dreaming of watching, under the condition she wasn't going to drag her dad along. Joel was an amazing dad, and he would do almost about anything for her, but standing in line for hours and then having to watch that guy performing while an entire stadium of hysterical teenage girls would be screaming at the top of their lungs which would probably cause Joel to go deaf in his good ear was a hard pass, that he wouldn't do. In fact, he would. The moment she gave him her puppy eyes and asked him to take her, he would do it, even if he tried tricking himself, however, luck seemed to be standing by his side, as Tommy happened to start dating this chick who was also obsessed with that Harry guy and when she got herself and Tommy a ticket, Sarah was all set. And so was Joel, because without anyone knowing, he managed to get a free night with you. And in the blink of an eye, you and Joel seemed way more excited for the Harry Styles concert than Sarah.

So when she complained she didn't actually have anything nice to wear, you thought of doing that for her, it would be fun, a change of just staying inside reading books, you could spend some girl time together and while you were out with her, you could really watch Sarah, the way she behaved, how she talked and acted, it reminded you so much of Joel, you wondered if she'd taken anything from Angela at all, deep inside, you wish she didn't, even if it was a petty thing to do. The idea of Sarah being similar only to her dad was nothing but comforting and sweet to you, it was the easiest way to see the evolution he went through, unfortunately, he had to learn how to be a better person through the pain, but he had succeeded and that was what it really mattered. You didn't really care if you'd spent a lot on Sarah, you had the money after all, and she deserved it. She was happy, talking excitedly about several things, to the point she barely noticed when Joel walked towards the two of you. He had his jacket on, hair a little messy from the wind as he grinned shyly at the sight of you, his heart skipping a beat as it felt to him he was meeting his daughter and wife at the mall.

Sarah frowned, amused to see her dad, walking towards him, she hugged him, which surprised Joel a little, not expecting that gesture at that very moment.

“What are you doing here, dad?” She asked curiously as Joel greeted you by giving you a peck on the cheek, trying so hard not to seem he was practically drooling over you.

“Tommy needed to buy his girlfriend whatever and asked me for a ride, so while he disappeared into the crowd I was trying to find him” he explained and stared at you “you girls are having fun, I see?” He raised his eyebrow and Sarah eagerly nodded, lifting her bags a little and showing him everything you'd bought her. He was so thankful for everything you were doing for his daughter, especially because he was sure you did it out of kindness and the fact you care about her. You watched their interaction and bit your lips in anticipation, you felt a sudden urge to kiss Joel in front of everyone and walk around the mall holding hands with him, you had never discussed that before, but the thought of it made your heart race. Sarah exchanged a few words with her dad before her eyes went wide as she spotted one of her best friends a couple of stores ahead and smiled big

“Dad, can I go show Nat the things I got? Please?! I'll be right back!” She asked with her sweet eyes and Joel agreed, telling her you two would be around as he intended to keep you company. As you walked towards another store with Joel following you, Sarah soon got entertained with her friend in an ice cream booth nearby. You both chuckled at the scene and he quickly placed his hand on the small of your back.

“Is Tommy really shopping around for his girlfriend or were you just stalking us?” You teased Joel, entering the lingerie store, earning a gasp from him before he could actually answer your question.

“Don't even think about it, Miller, I'm here just to buy some sports bra to go to the gym and nothing more” you added but the mischievous look in his eyes was extremely well-known.

“That's a shame, because this one would look so good on you” he pointed at a lilac lacey pair of underwear, his mouth watering at how beautiful you would certainly get in it, and how stripping you out of all that lace would feel like unwrapping a Christmas gift. You frowned at him, reminding him you were just there to buy a couple of things and leave, in fact, you shouldn't have even let Joel get inside the store with you, it wouldn't be appropriate and how would he explain to Sarah what the hell he was doing there in the first place. Joel, on the other hand, was pretty much entertained by all the beautiful colors and shapes the tiny pieces of fabric came with; he could picture every inch of your body in them, trying to guess which ones would look better. He knew all of them would be just perfect, but he was a guy who was simply drawn to the traditional good old red lacey; it was gorgeous, and it would be a nice gift for the two of you. As he looked around to find you and show you what he'd decided to treat you to, you were nowhere to be seen; the sales clerk already busy with the new customers walking into the store, he decided to wander after you. He was thankful no one seemed to mind nor notice him there, too worried to be seen as a creep, but determined to find you nonetheless; as he got to the fitting room area, he quickly called your name.

“What now, Joel?!” You immediately replied from the one in the corner, slightly annoyed at the fact he'd followed you there, sometimes Joel was a little like a stray puppy, coming after you with those big sad brown eyes, and even if you wanted to shop for freaking sports bras on your own, you couldn't help but enjoy the fact he was just so needy of you.

When Joel opened the door and got inside, you even tried to argue and ask him what the heck he was doing there, but instead, he smirked, gripping your sides and kissing you as a way to keep you silent. You wanted to push him away and tell him to fuck off, but the rushing adrenaline you felt through your veins made you feel alive, and as always, Joel's touch set you on fire. He broke the kiss dragging his lips over to your neck and then your collarbone, his hands climbing up your sides and going to your breasts, squeezing them softly

“This sports bra ain't bad, but I'd say a work of art like your body should have more lace, or glitter or whatever shit you like” he said in a grunt and lowered your top, even against your protests that weren't much more than just some whimpers that couldn't convince you, let alone Joel. You could feel his beard scratching down your chest and going straight to your breasts, lips wrapping around your nipples as he suckled on it gently at first, flicking it with his tongue before moving to your other breast and working the same magic. Your heart raced to the point you could feel your blood rushing through your ears, the fact you both could be caught at any moment and kicked out of the store, or even worse: be arrested for public indecency, added a hint of fear to the traditional lust you had for Joel; that man would be the dead of you, that much you were sure of.

“We can't Joel…” you mumbled against his curls, his head on your chest as his fingers found their way down your belly, getting so close to your sweet spot, he was so needy of you, wanting all of you to the point it felt he would go crazy. His digits toyed with the hem of your panties, while you pulled his curls a little, making him groan.

“Sorry honey” you whispered and kissed this temple, which made him smile. Joel was about to finger you in a fitting room in the middle of a store and you were so sweet to him, it made his heart ache a little, at the realization he definitely didn't deserve you. He kissed you once more and nibbled your lower lips the moment his fingers reached your core, spreading your lips apart and finding your needy clit, already so hard and wet, just for him to enjoy. He wasn't going to tease you, you both didn't have time for it, so instead, he played with your wetness, before shoving his fingers inside of you, stretching you up the way you both knew and enjoyed it, he thumbed with your clit before focusing all his ministrations into your tight cunt, feeling your muscles squeezing and clenching around him. He'd kill to have his cock inside of you instead of his fingers, but that would have to wait. He felt your teeth on his shoulder, while your pussy gushed at the same time you came for him. He felt your body going limp, sustaining your weight with his free hand

“Taste yourself, princess” he whispered against your ear and held his fingers up, waiting for you to wrap your devilish lips around them and lick them clean. Joel felt the urge to take you right there and then, but he was a patient man and knew things would have to wait. He kissed your lips goodbye and exited the fitting room after making sure no one was around to see him.

The sales clerk was a little confused when she saw Joel walking towards the register with a blood red pair of lacey lingerie, she couldn't remember seeing him walk into the store and let alone hang around, but the work policy forced her to smile at him and be helpful, especially when he got his wallet out and extended his credit card.

“I'd like you to gift wrap this and give it to the beautiful lady who's trying sports bra in the fitting room, tell her it's my treat” he winked at the woman, aware he could use his charms in his own favor. She agreed to his request and he left the store just like any other ordinary customer, at the same time you received the package as a present the moment you tried paying for your stuff.

•••

After waiting what it seemed like forever, the Harry Styles concert was about to happen, which caused Joel to have a break from his brother, his girlfriend Maria and Sarah, who insisted they all spend hours waiting in line. His heart was full of joy and pride to see how happy his precious daughter was, the way she could barely sleep at night and that guy was the only thing she ever talked about. It was amusing to him, even if he ran out of patience from time to time, it was amazing to see his little girl looking like a beautiful young woman in her new outfit bursting with happiness. Joel couldn't also complain about the fact he managed to enjoy a full day by himself and get ready to receive you through the night. He'd gone grocery shopping, buying all the kinds of treats he knew you loved - or used to, as people could often change their personal taste over the years, but instead of seeing that with sadness, he felt glad to be able to learn something new about the woman he was madly in love with. He was going to go for some beer, but Joel thought again and decided to pick some wine, he just thought you were more of a wine kind of woman, more elegant than just cheap beer.

What you both hadn't counted on, was how hot the weather was, even if the sun had set down, it was still uncomfortable to remain inside, which made Joel suggest you both should move your date night to the swimming pool. At first you thought he was joking, but the stern look on his face told you he was being completely serious, and you thought it was a nice change. The way Joel took the bottle of wine, the glasses and simply began undressing without a word made you puzzled, until he turned around and told you to take off your clothes as well.

One skinny-dipping adventure and a quicky in his pool later, you both took sips of your wine, as you pressed yourself against him; Joel's arms were tight around your body as you rested your head on his chest, kissing it gently, and listening to his heartbeats, it was scary how out of the sudden, his arms became your favorite place in the world. You were far too deep into this story, and there was no way out without getting hurt, but that wasn't the time to think of that, you didn't want to have those kinds of thoughts, you wanted to spend your time with Joel and get lost into him, just as he was into you.

“Sarah told me you have a girlfriend” you blurted out, making Joel raise his eyebrow at you and looking down at you

“What?!”

“Well, she said you seemed happier lately, always texting someone, sneaking out here and there…” you chuckled “I wonder who that bitch is” Joel laughed at your comment, his hand sliding down your back and resting on your ass, squeezing it and then pecking your lips.

“She ain't no bitch, I can assure you that much” he said gently and nuzzled your neck “she's gorgeous, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me, well, after Sarah, of course, but still, and she was so kind to forgive me after everything I've done” his lips were back on your cheek and then on your lips “and I love her very much”

For a moment your whole world stopped. Joel loved you. He admitted it out loud, it wasn't just a matter of simple assumptions, but rather a concrete, explicit feeling. You opened your mouth looking at him hesitantly, what exactly should you say? What could you tell Joel? Did you love him back? If so, were you ready to admit it and face the consequences of getting back together with the man who caused the biggest emotional trauma of your life. Joel took his hands off your body and looked at you with a hint of disappointment, even if he didn't want to admit it, he was disappointed, he thought you shared the same feeling as he did, so he sighed and nodded.

“It's fine, you don't have to say it back…” he cleared his throat and swam to the ladder of the pool “it's getting a little chilly, I think we should get inside”

•••

A few days later, your conversation with Joel simply wouldn't leave your mind; you were in love with him, it was impossible for anyone not to notice, him included, and yet, you didn't understand why it was so hard for you to simply admit it. Perhaps, if you did it, then it would become real, and your relationship with him would stop being a fun, little secret shared by the two of you, but rather a concrete relationship between two adults, where you'd eventually have to come clean and open up to family, friends, you would celebrate birthdays and holidays, anniversaries and face several, typical questions coming from all sides, wondering if you would both remarry or have kids. It was overwhelming, but not as bad as how you were feeling at that moment. You felt guilty and embarrassed, and the paranoid side of you was convinced Joel had been avoiding you for the past week, whereas Sarah was at your place nearly everyday, still talking about Harry Styles and showing you countless pictures of the concert, he wouldn't text much nor insist to see you, even when you suggested him to sneak out late at night and go to yours, he politely declined by saying Tommy and him got a new big client and work was rushed and soul crushing. Of course he could be telling you the truth, he did sound exhausted on the phone and Sarah had mentioned Joel and Tommy had been arriving late most days, both of them covered in sweat and in such a bad mood due to the unbelievable amount of work they were having. Yet, what should make you feel calm and at ease, didn't help one bit, it was uncomfortable and depressing not having Joel around, you missed him, his touch, his body but mostly his presence. He'd been a constant in your life for the past months, and it was only taking a week for you to feel abandoned. It wasn't fair to you, and yet, it wasn't fair to him either, not when he declared his love for you and you couldn't even say it back. You placed your living room, not sure whether you should drive to his home or not, in fact, you knew you shouldn't, but you wanted to, because that particular day, not even Sarah showed up, and it made you sad. You were so attached to the little family destiny set apart for you, simply a day or two away from them was enough to cause a large wound in your heart. You looked around, looking for an excuse to show up at the Miller's household; until your eyes widened and you grinned to see Sarah's history book lying around your coffee table. It was the perfect excuse to go and see them! Perhaps you could even end up having dinner with them, and then make up an excuse about a flat tire or whatever, have Joel giving you a ride home and end up being railed by him in the back of his truck. The longing for Joel was increasing and all you wanted was to make things right by explaining him you did have feelings for him and you needed some time, but you were willing to make sacrifices in order to be with him, because you wanted to and it was important for you that he saw how appreciated he was by you.

On your way to Joel's, you stopped at a bakery you knew Sarah loved, thinking of all the delicious treats you could take so you'd keep your family spoiled, at least a little. You smiled at yourself the moment you chose a couple of cupcakes, cookies and the chicken pie Joel loved, thinking of how you were already addressing them as your family. The truth is that they were indeed your family, the connection you three had was strong, the bond you created with Sarah without even knowing for a fact who she was and later on all that passion for Joel surfacing after spending a decade buried deep inside of you. It was a waste of time fighting that, and you wanted to get to them as soon as possible, you'd been alone far too long, it was about time to yourself have one good thing, to break free and admit how happy you were next to the Millers. You loved them just as they loved you, and it made no sense to fight that feeling and pretend it didn't exist.

The ride wasn't long, there was hardly any traffic in the suburbs, most families were already inside, having dinner together as the sun had set and the street lights were all lit up, as you parked your car, you saw Joel's truck in the driveway and felt your chest tightening in anxiety and fear; if he was already home why didn't he call or text you? Maybe he was indeed avoiding you?! Joel wouldn't make the same mistake twice and push you away, would he? You shook your head, you had faith in him, faith you both had matured and were able to handle things by talking and being honest with each other; you licked your lips and sighed, knowing that whatever was going on could be solved by the two of you as two functional adults, besides, there were a bunch of explanations to why he hadn't talked to you that day yet, you shouldn't jump to conclusions and let your paranoia win once more. You got out of the car with the bag full of treats and walked to the front door, you knocked a couple of times and waited for an answer but nobody came. It was odd, as you could hear Joel's and Sarah's voices coming from inside, and even if you couldn't tell what they were saying your heart raced, your gut feeling telling you something was up and you couldn't wait any longer, silently opening the door and getting inside. You placed the bag of food down the coffee table as you could clearly hear what they were saying. It seemed Joel and Sarah were arguing, which was extremely odd, since you had never seen them have any kind of disagreement, they just had a real nice and healthy father and daughter relationship in which they both listened to each other and acted with respect. As you approached, you heard Sarah's cries and you were taken by worry, perhaps someone had died? You couldn't wait any longer, you rushed and got into the kitchen, confused at first at what had happened between them, Joel looked so overwhelmed, his face was red and he desperately tried to make a point while telling Sarah a bunch of information she could barely cope with, as she cried in disappointment and shook her head, not believing anything her dad was saying. Her heart was shattered with disappointment and sadness, she couldn't believe her dad, her hero, the man she loved and admired the most in her life had done such a thing.

On the kitchen table, a photograph taken on your wedding day was lying around. A younger version of yourself hugged a much younger Joel as you both stood in front of the courthouse, smiling widely at the camera. There was no way to deny it nor hide it. Sarah had found out about your previous connection god knows how and Joel seemed desperate as he wanted to explain himself to his daughter, he couldn't bear having her so disappointed in him like that, it shattered his heart into a million pieces.

“Sarah…” you whispered and tried touching her cheek, wanting to caress it gently and assure her everything was fine now, that what had happened was in the past and that her dad was still the best father a girl could ever wish for. But Sarah moved her face away from your touch, her eyes were glistening with tears as she seemed so heartbroken

“You both lied to me! Why did you lie?” She asked and you looked at Joel wanting to have some kind of support in order to reply to her question.

“Sarah, we are both sorry, but your dad and I have made up after what happened, I know it's a lot to take now but don't be upset please” you asked her, Joel nodded and wrapped his arm around your waist in order to show her things were fine between the two of you. He promised to talk to her and explain everything to her in detail, but she was just so upset, feeling betrayed by the person she admired and loved the most in the whole world. You knew there was nothing you both could do at that moment, not with Sarah being so nervous and upset, instead, you asked Joel to call Tommy and suggested that he took her out for ice cream or something, maybe have a little chat with his niece while you and Joel could sit down and figure the best way to tell her everything. It didn't take more than twenty minutes for his younger brother to arrive, Sarah had drunk some water and washed her face, leaving with Tommy as you sat next to Joel. You took his hand and caressed it, while he refused to look you in the eye, the guilt and shame once more eating him alive, and now it had become even worse, as his precious little Sarah had found out the truth about him in the worst way possible. All she needed was an old picture for her school project and going through Joel's old memory box should be enough, and then she came across the pictures of his wedding day. Not to her mom, but to you instead, and then it all made sense: why you were never willing to be around her dad, or how you decided to keep yourself away from any kind of relationship. Because the asshole you told her you'd married once, was simply her father. The good old Joel Miller, the man who had to raise his baby daughter on his own after she left him, and then, Sarah had found out her dad had been really bad to someone so dearly to her. You, you could've been married to her dad, you could've been her mom, she could've had a family all along.

You looked at Joel and wiped a single tear that rolled down his cheek, even if he tried to hide it.

“What are we doing now, Joel?”

“I don't know…”

____

A/N: what a ride, right besties? Remember, feedback is life ❤️

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal one shot #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller one shot #joel miller story #pedro pascal story

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kindestofkings · 8 months

Text

dear john

elijah hewson x singer!reader

(ex!charles leclerc cause hes a hot red flag)

plot: its giving friends to strangers to friends again to lovers 🫶🏼

face claim: laufey <3

warning: spelling mistakes

authors note: this is for the lovely anon who requested a speak now inspired smau ! Hope this is okay?!? I was tempted by doing something on the vibe of speak now the song but imma think on it 🫡

yourusername

liked by charlesleclerc and others

yourusername wow last night on tour was something special 😢 to everyone who sangs my songs back to me and everyone who's supported my little dreams, I LOVE YOU.

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lucydacus killing it !

yourusername luv you <333

phoebebridgers voice of an ANGEL

yourusername ooh stop im blushinggg

charlesleclerc beautiful as always mon ange

ynfan1 post concert blues are toooo real

wagsandstuff

liked by ynfan1 and others

wagsandstuff huh that doesn't look like yourusername to us.... did the couple of 3 years break up without telling us??

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ynfan1 nooooooo that girl on twitter was right ah

ynandcharlesshipper charlessss man don't do this

charlesfan she was always feeding off of him

ynfan2 she has her own career you do know that right? she a really popular singer

ynfan2 not charles cheating on our QUEEN

yourusername just unfollowed charlesleclerc

yourusername just added to their story!

lol gonna go heal my heart I guess lol

replies:

yourmum awh my beautiful girl :( glad you're coming home 💘

↳ can't wait to see you mam

yourbestfriend men are literal pigs.

phoebebridgers he's an idiot, here for you if you need anything

elijahhewson hey I know it's been awhile since we last spoke, but the lads and I are always here for you. I should've been better at keeping in touch, but I'm so sorry this happened to you.

↳ hey E, missed you! I'm just as much at fault, guess we all just got so busy with tours (both so successful heheh). where abouts in the world are you? I'm heading home for awhie maybe we could all catch up?

↳ elijahhewson deadly! myself, ryan and josh are home and bobby is back next week, call around whenever

inhalerfanaccount

liked by inhalerfan1 and others

inhalerfanaccount did you guys know that yourusername is friends with inhaler??? I found all of these oldies while lurking her insta !

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inhalerfan1 bless they're so young, they all must of been friends during school !

inhalerfan2 crazy to think they've all become so successful

ynfan1 wow my two worlds colliding

ynfan2 I've always secretly hoped yn and eli would get together

inhalerfanaccount friends to strangers to friends to lovers hits soooo hard

yourusername

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yourusername time is a terrifying thing..

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yourmam I could probably find an even earlier pic...

bobbyskeetz I beg please no inhalerfan1 pleaseeeeee

elijahhewson smash x4

joshjenkinson_ the gang getting back together has 2024 winninggg

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ynfan1 yesss bitch remind that silly boy who drives in circles of all the hot friends you have !!!

(liked by elijahhewson and others) ynfan2 hahahah eli woke up and choose chaos

yourusername

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yourusername turning all this heartbreak into something good ! dear john is the rawest I've ever been in my songwriting, treat her with love x

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ynfan1 so so incredibly beautiful, thank you for sharing

lucydarcus you're a wonder

ryanmcmahon_15 sobbing uncontrollably and ready to fight him

bobbyskeetz you good bro ?

charlesfan1 tough day to be a charles fan

ynfan2 omg those lyrics are HEARTBREAKING

inhalerfanupdates

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inhalerfanupdates WHO HAS THIS MAN SO SMILEY???

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inhalerfan1 FOR REAL?? hes usually so moody

elijahhewson posted to their close friends!

replies yourusername pure stalker when did you take this pic??

vogue

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vogue with just days before the release of her highly anticipated spohmore album we chatted to yourusername about love, loss and all things in between;

" you dont realise how easy love can be until you're with the right person. its the most annoying thing to hear when you dont have it but some how I was fortunite enough to discover"

find out what else the singer told us at the link in our bio !

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yourusername THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME

ynfan1 shes so happy and in love

ynfan2 how can one person be so talented, smart AND intelligent

charlesfan1 eww cant believe charles used to date her!

ynfan3 love how shes not petty like the leclerc fangirlies clearly still are..

yourusername

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yourusername a year and a half ago I had my heartbroken, felt completed untethered and so so confused. today I give you my pride and joy!

this album features songs I wrote as a sobbing mess, some I wrote while I was healing and finally some I wrote after I opened my eyes and embraced what I had all along.

I love them all, I love everyone who worked on it with me and I escially love you.

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yourusername

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yourusername one single thread of gold tied me to you <3

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elijahhewson hell was the journey

yourusername but it brought me heaven. bobbyskeetz gross yourusername child

joshjenkinson_ my parents

yourmam my favourite pair !

evehewson sobbing it was always meant to be

phoebebridgers the sweetest love for the sweetest soul

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ynfan1 OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

finished

authors note: ahh im a broken record with the friends from home trope but its my favourite 🥲 hope you all enjoy, please as always let me know what you think!!

#inhaler band #elijah hewson imagine #inhaler dublin #elijah hewson fanfic #elijah hewson x reader #elijah hewson #fake instagram #fake insta post

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ju-vondy · 3 months

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Jason's past info reveal on EP. Five X My own thoughts...

After playing the latest episode of MCL New Gen I had to do this post because when Jason told us about his father I almost fell of my chair screaming "OMG I WAS RIGHT???!!!!!" For those who didn't play the episode 5 yet: 🚨⚠️spoilers 🚨⚠️

So... I had this feeling that Beemoov was going to introduce a family drama for Jason, particularly involving his father, to justify his poor behavior, ya know? Like...: the typical story where the teenager loses his father, faces family problems and ends up becoming bitter and tough because of it. The whole "family is a mess" narrative LOL (I honestly hate that concept of "You can heal she/he" thing that usually come together with this kinda plot, that's why even though I made a difficult past for Jason in my fic, he secretly goes into therapy often... so Candy won't need to worry about being a damn "healer" for him 😂)

In fact, I even considered killing his father when Jason was a teenager in my fanfic because I was so sure his dad was dead. But then I thought, "No... Beemoov wouldn't use that cliché of the man who lost his father too soon and had to take on family responsibilities at 18, right? What a drama!"

So, today I'm here to justify the plot I thought about to you: I didn't kill off Jason's father in my fanfic because in my mind it would be too obvious and cliché. Instead, I wanted to explore a different angle that still included family issues and could add depth into Jason's character. But then... I realized that my own story also ended up being quite dramatic LMAO 🤣😅🤐

The way I created Jason's family tragedy, I know it got intense, and sometimes I feel like such a villain for it (~crying in author language~). For a kid, it must be very though waking up from an accident and listening "So... Your father is in a coma. We don't know if he'll wake up or no. He can live but he can also die suddenly, be prepared." And then you wake up everyday hoping your father will wake up but he didn't and you get nothing instead of a fake hope that the next day will be different... You are unsure if he's going to live or die. You didn't lost the person, but you lost its presence, voice, bad jokes, caring, etc. However, you still don't want to lose hope. So, for Jason kid it was like "I'll do my best everyday so when papa wakes up he'll be proud of me :D"

I decided to put Jason's father (I named him as Gregory) through a coma when Jason was a kid for two main reasons: 1) Give Jason a motivation and 2) don't make him deal with "taking care family matters out of the blue" once he was too young.

> That leads to his uncle (named Viktor) accompanying Jason's growth and teaching him everything about the family business, being a leader and etc. Of course Viktor had an aggressive method once Jason father's part of the family is crap and cruel (as I shared on this post).

Despite growing up with his uncle filling his head with nonsense about love being a weakness and such things, young Jason didn't want to be bitter and iced-heart like that. (Yep, he was a hectic kid but that doesn't mean he was evil, he just liked to have fun messing around.) He remembered his father being kind and gentle, almost as if he wanted to break the tough mold of the family. But later Jason faced many disappointments because, being from a wealthy family, (BTW, I got kinda sad when Jason said they were not rich in the EP 5, but now that's done and I don't regret describing his family the way I did once we didn't have any information hehehe) many people around them were fake. He also suffered bullying for being skinny, so... All of those bad things led him to think around the age of 16-17: "Well, there's no other way. When I'm not at home I'll have to put on this mask that my uncle taught me so others won't walk all over me."

However, internally Jason still held hope that Gregory would wake up someday and... Within his good heart, there was the desire of wanting to make his dad proud ~if he woke up~ Jason had as a kid > it still remained there in his mind, so he gave his best effort in everything they put he to do back that time. But at a certain point there was so much pressure on the poor boy that he ended up having a breakdown. 'Do this' 'Don't do that' 'Be perfect' 'Get good grades' 'Blah blah blah'... At the age of 18-19 Jason found himself having like those "I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" moments of life LOL 🤣 He never really liked everything the Mendal stood for, anyway. He always found it a drag to attend luxury dinners, close deals and pretend to be someone he wasn't… Jason ended up becoming a rebellious young-adult despite being studious and dedicated to his goals.

And then things got worse when Jason was near his 20-21 years old: his father sadly woke up in a minimally conscious state. (So: today his father is not dead, but he's not "living" as well. You know? When someone is awake but can't talk, move, etc. sometimes the person can exhibit limited and inconsistent responses to external stimuli, but that's all.) I think that was the "breaking point". Jason got deeply disappointed: He felt like everything he had done in his entire life was for nothing. As a result, the dark-haired began to exhibit dysfunctional behavior, skipping work at the family company, arriving late etc, etc. Viktor took advantage of this moment of weakness and convinced the board/the general council that Jason became irresponsible, went off the rail and therefore was unfit for any leadership position and would never be good enough to take the vice president or president's company role. That made our hated beloved protagonist really angry, it felt like a big betrayal for him. Following that, in a fit of impulsivity, Jason had those moments of "'Fuck you guys. I don't need you idiots. My family sucks and I'll prove them that I can make it on my own without using my father's name.' And that's why he resigned from his position and began working on something else, which would later culminate in the founding of Goldreamz. (Fortunately, this was the moment he decided to start seeing a therapist again, for our sake's.)

Well... I gave you too many spoilers of the fic already, so, basically: Jason’s past sucks and his journey in my point of view is intertwined with themes of redemption, ambition, growing and a desire to protect those he cares about besides his own heart ~which he chooses to not open up with random people. He's not an asshole/jerk, but he decides consciously to behave as if he is one because a bunch of internal reasons. (His therapist is still trying to work on that btw 👀) Jason only shows his truly self when he with his mom, brother, close friends and some of his mother's relatives. (And hopefully, near Candy... As time goes by and they fall for each other) Selective behavior, ya know? It is common for people undergoing therapy to selectively share their true feelings and thoughts with a trusted inner circle, while emotionally protecting themselves from others. Besides, we must remember that therapy is a long and sometimes non-linear process: Jason may resist complete changes, preferring to maintain a protective behavior while slowly working on his internal issues. Jason does not intend to change it, actually. He's happy with only the people he cares about knowing who he truly is... He's like: "bitch, I don't care" about the others. 😅😆

With all of that said: I can’t wait to delve deeper into Jason's motivations in my upcoming chapters, exploring the intricate web of personal and professional stakes that drive Jason’s actions. 🤭 Stay tuned for more revelations and twists 🤪

If you’ve been following my fanfic, let me know your thoughts on Jason’s development and how you think his backstory ties into the larger narrative. And if you’re just catching up on the game itself (MCL New Gen), what do you think of the latest episode? Let’s discuss!

If you're not following my fanfic, I recommend you read this post first 😅 Thank you all for supporting my work and crazy ideas 💖

#jason mendal #mcl new gen #mcl jason #mcl fanfic #mclng #amour sucre new gen #my candy love new gen #mcl #Jason Mendal fanfiction

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slashingdisneypasta · 28 days

Text

(Fae) King Roderick x Fem!Human!Reader || Drabble

Plot: 🌷🌲🌷 Roderick stops amid his day-to-day duties to watch a sweet human girl get attacked by some nasty goblins- and wonders to himself whether indeed he needs another pretty slave~ 🌷🌲🌷 🌷🌲🌷 🌷🌲🌷

Warnings: Goblin attack (They gang up on you, they hold you down, they jump on you, they bite you), Evil Roderick Thoughts (He likes violence. He wants to own you & use you), etc probably.

Roderick is my character! ^^ If you like him, please let me know!! I will die but don't worry I'll come back. This is the first time I'm writing him for... a long time, so he will develop as time goes on; But the basic principles of his character will remain the same.

@marinerainbow I'm tagging you because you're the only one who knows about Rod! XD Here he is in all his terrible glory. I hope you like him! 😅 XD

-You shouldn't have come here!-

-now we get to play with youu, heheh-

-Let's have some fun, little maid!

It was a mistake! I'm sorry! you cried, trying to pull your arm away from the evil little creature - a goblin, - that had you in his iron-grip, dragging you down to his level and his horrible sharp teeth and his black eyes. I didn't know! I'll go back! Just let me-

Fear and tears fill your eyes so beautifully, little maid. Roderick thought as he watched from high in a nearby tree. Neither you, nor the pesky squat little creatures knew he was there. He was in his small form, after all. Barely visible so high up.

He was only taking a wander through the woods just now- He only wanted to see his land, today. Whisper some simple encouragements to the trees, compliment the flowers for growing so gorgeously this spring, run his fingers through the grass, and generally spread some good cheer; make sure the forest was still his. On his side. Always listening, and reporting to him everything it heard.

He had no idea he would end up a witness to such pretty a sight. Seeing a lovely human girl roughed up and terrified by a few goblins was just always a nice surprise. Ever so pleasant.

Sure, he could easily get rid of the creatures. Call them off; he was the King of this forest, after all. He could save you as easily as he could order himself a sweet cup of honey and lavender tea. But you are all putting on such a good show... he'd hate to spoil it.

Two goblins now hold onto your arms and leave irritated red scratches in your skin with their jagged claws, another two nasty little creatures wrap around your legs and sit on your feet, and another- pounces onto your back, from a low-hanging branch in another tree. Your knees buckle under the weight of the fat bastard, and you slam into the dirt while all the creatures snigger and cackle cruelly at your pain and your fear. The one on your back digs his pointed nose into your hair and your neck, and takes a deep whiff.

The look on his face is down-right ravenous. Filthy. As if the dumb thing had been starved for days and it just came upon a whole roast pheasant feast.

Roderick's eyebrows climb up his forehead. Interesting... Well if you really smell that good, maybe he should save you. One look at you- the humble attire you adorn your sweet body with that hides everything and then some (Frustrating, Roderick thinks with an eyeroll), the fact that you're alone here in the first place (Humans rarely travel this deep into the forest. There are myths meant to warn you against such places, didn't you know dear?~ Roderick smirks. Fairy stories, I believe they aptly refer to them in town.)... tells him all he needs to know about you. He could so easily draw you to him. Make you grateful and charm you. Save you, and convince you it was good will... He doubted anyone would look for you for long, either. Maybe a month (A few mere hours at home). Not that that worried him at all; he had the power, here.

"... " After another moment, Roderick rolls his eyes and gets up off the tree branch he was sat and leering down at the scene on. "Ugh. What am I thinking?? I don't need anymore slaves." Cavalierly, he waives his hand and turns to fly off. "You just kidnapped another one the other week, Rod. That little flower nymph; go home and sate yourself on him for a little while. No one likes a greedy king."

He's about to disappear into the dark like he was never there at all, leave you to your fate at the hands of the cheeky little ground urchins-- but you let out a shriek suddenly.

A shriek that makes Roderick freeze; a delicious shiver racing up his spine as nearby sparrows shoot out of another tree and disappear above the treetops. A crooked grin slips across the fae king's bearded face, rolling his shoulders of the freezy thrill-feeling before he turns back around to you. There's a bite mark on your neck now; likely the cause of your pig-squeal.

"... or I could sate myself on you for a little while, hmm?" Another delectable screech, when one of the other goblins digs his sharp, yellow teeth into your calf. Roderick's vision goes red as his beautiful features take on a killer grin and he slowly flies forward. "I'll take that as an emphatic yes~ "

#first little thing of rod!!! i uh...#gonna go hide now. forever.#i dunno how i'm gonna publish an actual book if sharing even this little amount of an original character is so scary!! 😅#King Roderick #Fae King Roderick #Fae King Roderick x Reader #King Roderick x Reader #Fae King Roderick x Reader Drabble #King Roderick x Reader Drabble #Drabble

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accidentally-in-fictional-love · 1 month

Note

Ahhhhh Lester Billings fic was so gooodddd I loved ittttttt pls make a part two 🙏🙏🙏

45 Days of Waiting - Lester Billings/Reader

Warnings: Gender neutral reader, no use of Y/N, friends to roommates, accusations of cheating and abuse (both false of course), reader is still pining, Lester is still sad, happy ending.

Wordcount: 25210

Summary: You called in every favour you could to find someone to take his case so he could get his family back, but inviting him to stay with you was surely bound to have more consequences than even you could've expected as your friendship with him blossoms even more.

Notes: Ask and you shall receive hehe the idea of writing out the custody hearing was always in my mind when thinking of the sequel to this, but godDAMN did I not expect it to be so long. The hearing itself takes up a good chunk of this, but there's also a ton of other scenes as your friendship (and relationship? 😏) grows, so while this is the longest reader of mine to date somehow I promise it'll be a worthy read that'll lead into even more with him as I go through the final two requests for him in my queue 😊 And while there are OCs of mine in here as secondary characters again, I may've gone a bit overboard with my usual Matty cameo hehehe

I also looked up how long the original story was, and it was only 4808. I've written over 6x the amount of plot for this man than Stephen King himself, so I think it's now safe to say I now own him and this is now how his life turns out 👍 Hope everyone who might've looked forward to this enjoys it 💗💗💗

It was Thursday night again, your car pulling into the grocery store in town as it always did at around 5:15PM. It was the soonest you could get there after work, and you'd been working like crazy lately, your office phone ringing off the hook and calling just as much as you attempted to trade in every single favour you had stocked up. You were dead tired as you yanked a cart free and started on the list in your hand, the usual favourites now followed by a bunch of healthy foods as well as the odd treat. It was a long list, but money hadn't been an issue ever since you'd started your job at the firm, and now that Lester was working again he always made sure to pay you back since he was now spending his Thursdays, along with every other night, at the office for as long as he could get away with.

It'd been a couple weeks since you'd found him at Walkers, since he’d confessed to you that his wife was leaving him and taking his kids on the suspicion of cheating, and the thought of it still made your blood boil as you stared at the pasta sauces and grabbed your favourite, not hers. You placed two jars into your cart and moved on, each item crossed off your list until you reached the dessert counter at the end, the worker seeing you coming and already preparing two slices of Caramel Pecan for you and him to take home.

It was still a little strange to think about how he was coming home to you, just temporarily until he could finish securing a new place of his own that'd be suitable for his kids, something he hadn't dared to think about when he'd started his hunt, but to you all the same. He took up your entire couch to the point where you'd had to take pity on him after that first night, your bed offered to him when he'd woken up with his back irritated from being all bunched up. He didn't want it, he was already imposing on you during all of this, but one offered massage later had him feeling better and a little more ready to get a good night's sleep.

You'd checked on him that second night, his suitcases decorating your floor and the single picture he'd managed to grab decorating your nightstand where he could see it before he fell asleep, and you vowed again that this wouldn't stay his future as you'd spent the rest of the night looking up every big name in your work contact list.

You packed the groceries into your car and headed home, his receipt separate from yours so he could keep track of what he owed you as usual, and you planned on what to make for him by the time he got home later that night all the way back to your house. It was a long drive, so you had plenty of time to create a meal based on what you'd just bought, your fingers tapping the wheel as you wondered if he'd prefer the kale salad tonight or if he'd want to go with the stir fry instead.

It was almost unbelievable how fast your crush kept trying to come back now that you saw him every day, little reminders of why you'd properly fallen in the first place cropping up and trying to distract you from your cause, but each time you just swallowed them down; he needed a friend right now, the poor guy was about to lose his marriage for goodness sake, so any interference from you and your own needs would only make him feel worse.

You'd seen cases like this before, one wrong move and Rita would be able to use everything out of context and prove that he was unfaithful to the judge while she made her claim for full custody, and if you were the cause of her winning you'd never be able to forgive yourself.

You forced yourself to breathe as you pulled into the driveway, everything needing to be carried up the small steps to your front door as soon as it was opened, and just as you propped it open and got ready to bring everything in you ended up pausing at the smell of food. You stepped inside, sniffing curiously as you wondered if maybe one of you had forgotten to turn something off or throw something away that morning, and when you reached the kitchen you froze with a pounding heart when you saw Lester standing at the sink, currently peeling and slicing potatoes while a big pan of beef was browning on the stove.

‘You're h- back early,’ you pointed out as he transferred the potatoes to another pan, and he jumped only a little before chuckling and wiping off his hands.

‘Yeah, I'm going in again after dinner, I just wanted to thank you for all you've been doing for me lately,’ he explained almost nervously, like you wouldn't appreciate the gesture, and you forgot all about the food in your car and all the wide open doors you'd left behind as you rushed forward to give him a hug. You caught yourself before he could hug you back, your hands coming up to straighten your work casual clothes as you cleared your throat. You were very aware of how inappropriate that just was despite you being friends, but before you could apologize he pulled you right back into it. ‘What kind of thanks comes without a hug?’ he asked into your shoulder, and you held him tightly until a mix of the beef spitting grease everywhere and your front door slamming shut made you part.

‘Oh yeah, the groceries, I'll help you cook after I bring them all in,’ you offered as you headed back for the car, Lester shaking his head and mixing around the beef now that more of it was browned.

‘This is my thanks to you, I do know how to make a thing or two without needing a menu,’ he joked lively, his familiar smile back again, and you just smiled right back before rushing out to bring everything in.

You were at work that week when someone finally called you back, a woman from a neighbouring firm who you'd worked with a few times and was interested in his case. She was aware of his financial situation, how Rita had kept all the cards and how he was stuck to his brand new debit account that was only loaded with a few paychecks for the moment, and together you'd worked out that this would be pro bono for now; when he was given access back to his personal savings - which she was hoarding in order to pay the bills - then he would be able to pay her.

What he wouldn't know was that you'd also called in one of your favours so the bill for this would be lessened, just another kindness to him while he went through all of this. She was on the phone with you as you wrote all of this down into a personal report to give to her to help with the case, the receiver cradled between your jaw and shoulder before you remembered that speakerphone had been invented even on landlines.

‘He's staying with me for the time being, he has a few places we're gunna check out next week to see if they'd be a good fit for his kids to visit until he can start hunting for a house again,’ you told her as you set the phone down, your hands moving fast over the keyboard of your laptop in time with your voice. ‘They're all in town, so they won't have to be too far from their school and friends, that was something he forgot about when he first started looking, but it's all sorted and we just need to settle on a location and price.’

‘You keep saying, “we,” be sure not to do that during any meetings, not when his wife is already accusing him of being unfaithful,’ Gwen reminded you warily, and you mentally slapped your hand to your forehead as you kept on typing.

‘Shit, yeah, sorry, it's been harder not to lately since he keeps asking for my opinion,’ you groaned, all of your thoughts on all the things you'd been doing together overwriting the fact that he should be doing this on his own even without you acting as his lawyer, just his friend.

‘It's fine with us, I know you'd never put him in that position, but you never know who she might be hiring to falsify evidence in her favour when she's this convinced that it's true.’ She paused to take a drink of something so you paused in return to stretch your hands, your cell lighting up with a text from him asking if you want him to pick up anything on the way home since he knew you would also be late; home, he'd started calling it that even though you’d tried your damndest not to, and your crush whispered in your ear about how right it sounded as you quickly tapped out a reply and set the device back down again.

‘We don't spend any time together outside of the house, and we leave at different times so unless she has someone actually following us, which I will report, there's nothing going on here other than me helping out a friend,’ you told her as you got back to your report, and you heard her click her tongue a couple times before adjusting how she held her own phone.

‘Still, be careful during this, you may not be representing him due to your closeness to this case, but you became a liability to him the moment you opened your door to him under this suspicion. Keep it platonic, keep it distant, don't add fuel to the fire, and we can meet sometime next week to go over the rest of the details, okay? Just text me your address and I'll be there, the less he's seen in public with anyone the better so long as we don't know who she thinks the cheating is with.’ You nodded guiltily even though she couldn't see, your hands stopping their typing as you touched your cheek again even though the sting was long gone.

You didn't know if it'd really be brought up during the hearing, but you didn't want to have to tell him that the accused was actually you, your appearance in his life only making everything go to hell in such a short time. You knew deep down that it wasn't actually your fault, you'd never made a single move on him and she was only lashing out in jealousy over something that didn't exist, but you knew that custody tended to favour the mothers and if there was a single shred of doubt that she could twist into him looking like a bad father then you would play the part of friend until even you believed it.

The call ended and you texted her your address along with a good time when the neighbours were usually out, it'd be easy to leave work for this at least on your part, Lester's boss giving him a little more leniency than usual while this was sorted so far so hopefully it wouldn't be an issue for him either. You saved your report and shut your laptop for the night, you had no more energy to do this and you needed to eat, your earlier denial of takeout being redacted as you texted him your favourites from the place he had to now pass by to get to you.

The meeting couldn't come sooner, Lester on constant edge as he paced around your room the night before. You could hear exactly where he was as you tried to sleep on the couch in the next room, each creak in the wood giving away his position until finally it stopped. You sighed, it'd been hours and it had honestly been keeping you awake, but not because of the noise; you were just as nervous as he was, the two of you up late before this deep cleaning your entire one-story house just to be sure you were ready to start this battle, and you were until you'd heard him get out of bed and start pacing.

Now your room was quiet again, and you waited for the sound of snoring when you heard your door creak open next instead. ‘Hey, I can't sleep,’ came his small voice from the doorway, and you couldn't even pretend to be asleep when he could clearly see your face looking his way from there.

‘Me either,’ you admitted as you pushed yourself onto your elbows, Lester brushing his messy bangs out of his eyes, and you could see how tired they were even from there. ‘Want me to put on some coffee? We can watch something until we fall asleep.’

‘No, but… it's silly, nevermind.’ He went to shut the door, your body sitting up even more as you pushed aside your blanket.

‘Wait, you can tell me, I'm worried about tomorrow, too,’ you confided in him before the door could shut, and he let out his own sigh as he opened it back up again.

‘I've been lying next to someone for over 20 years, and lately I've been too… too sad or too tired to notice but… I can't ignore it tonight, not now that I know this is happening starting tomorrow.’ Your mouth went dry as you understood his pacing, and you moved on instinct before you could stop yourself. ‘You don't have to, I just- don't want to be alone, tonight,’ he mumbled, this new and sad version of him cropping up again as the thoughts of sleeping without his longtime girlfriend and then wife and mother of his children clearly plagued him.

‘What're friends for?’ you could only say as you joined him in your room, an unspoken tension filling the air as he still tried to backtrack.

‘I'm not asking for… uh, sexual favours, or anything,’ he mumbled nervously, and you quickly raised your hands and took a step back as you prayed the darkness of the night was hiding your blush.

‘I didn't come in here expecting you to!’ you clarified just as nervously in way too loud a voice for that late at night, and he smiled in relief as his shoulders relaxed.

‘Okay, thank you, it's just that the thought of sleeping alone- for the longest time I'd forgotten how that felt, and like I said I've been too distracted to think about it until now, but if you'd rather not I can try,’ he insisted as to not pressure you, and you had to silence your crush with something louder as you took his hand and led him towards the bed.

‘You don't need to explain yourself to me, you're going through something I can't even imagine, if this'll help you then I want to help,’ you told him honestly, and he pushed aside his fear as he got back into bed. You made sure the blinds were all closed just in case, your talk with Gwen making you a bit paranoid as the room got even darker, and when you were done you made sure your pajamas were a little less loose before climbing in after him.

You laid arm to arm with a generous amount of space between you, your entire body stiff as you felt him tense as well; neither of you were going to be able to fall asleep at this rate, so you quickly let out a breath and rolled onto your side. You faced him, both physically and metaphorically, in order to let him turn his back to you, maybe your arm around him would be more appreciated than him thinking he could hold you and pretend, but to your surprise he faced you as well, maybe stuck in the same train of thought of what he wanted.

‘What do we do now?’ he asked you softly, your hands gripping the sheets as your eyes quickly looked away from his lips.

‘I dunno, how did you usually sleep?’ you asked back, and he gave a slight shrug as he also looked away from you.

‘She didn't like it much towards the end, but… I usually held Rita until I was able to fall asleep, something about the dark has always made it harder for me, I think I might’ve passed that on to Annie…’ He fell silent again upon thinking of his daughter, still at home and waiting for her dad to come tuck her in and kiss her goodnight, and when you both sniffed at the same time you couldn't stop yourself; you leaned forward in the dim light, your hand finding his cheek and leading the way towards him, and even though his breath hitched and he didn't close his eyes, he also didn't pull away as you pressed a kiss to his lips.

You pulled back almost immediately, reality catching up to you the moment he angled his head just enough to kiss you back, and you sat right up and started apologizing before his gentle hand found yours.

‘I still love my wife, even though she's doing this,’ was all he told you, the kindness and understanding you'd come to love showing up when you wanted it the least, and you tore your hand free to wipe at your cheek.

‘I know, I don't know why I did that, that's not why I came in here,’ you said as fast as you could, your mind racing as you felt the embarrassment and shame from the kiss beat you down until you were starting to panic; you knew he didn't need this right now, any feelings you still had for him very unappreciated when he still loved his wife and was trying his hardest to get his family back. Your feelings for him coming out now would only ruin everything, you didn't belong in that part of his life, and if you'd just walked away that day at the party then maybe this never would've even happened. ‘I'm sorry, I'm ruining everything, I never meant to-’

‘Come here, it's okay,’ he shushed you, his voice too soft and too kind as he pulled you back down to the bed. He turned you until your back was to his chest, and you tried to still your sobs even more now that he could feel this with his entire body as he wrapped his arm around your waist. ‘I know I'm being selfish here, I never should've asked this much from you, but I can't return your kindness like this, not when I don't feel the same,’ he murmured into your shoulder, and you tried to hide the way your body instinctively curled up at his words.

‘I never wanted you to,’ you replied into your pillow, and you felt him hold you a little tighter until the sound of gentle snoring reached your ear; just laying like this had put him to sleep, the comfort of being able to hold someone again lulling away the stress of it all until he was able to rest. You held him just a moment before letting go, your hands clenched into your pillow as you stared at the faint moonlight coming through your blinds. ‘I'm sorry, I should've just walked away, I never meant to do this to you,’ you told him properly, but he didn't hear any of it, and you knew it as you kept apologizing until you also fell asleep in his arms.

Despite being up late, the two of you were awake as soon as the sunlight filled the room, the few hours you were able to get seemingly enough for him as he looked a little less tired. You slept a little longer than him, just enough to slip free and grab some clothes so you could shower fast and make sure everything was ready for Gwen's arrival a good 8 hours later. You were in the middle of rinsing your hair when you heard him moving around outside the door, the sound of him rummaging through his suitcases making you frown as the water ran over your face.

This was temporary, he was here to save himself some much needed money from hotels while he looked for a new home, you didn't belong in that part of his life. You repeated that to yourself as you finished up, the bathroom free for him as you opened the door with your brush still in hand. He froze as he went to pass, your hand stilling as you tamed your drying hair, an awkwardness settling over you that made you wish he'd find his own place even sooner.

‘I'm sorry, about last night,’ he mumbled as he held his clothes for the day, this surprising you as you set your brush down. ‘I shouldn't have asked that of you, I didn't know you had…’

‘I don't,’ you were quick to lie, needing to console him more than let your feelings be known right now, ‘I don't know why I… did what I did last night, that wasn't fair to you.’

He looked away but not in his own embarrassment, even though he'd kissed you back despite saying he didn't feel the same. ‘It was a vulnerable moment, we can act irrationally in times like that,’ he began, his hands worrying around his clothes as he fussed with them, ‘I know this, because when Rita told me she wanted the divorce, I found myself getting angry at her, for the first time since we got together.’ You turned to face him entirely, your focus only on him as he all but collapsed against the doorframe. ‘We've had arguments before, it's not like I've never been mad at her in all our years of knowing each other, all couples fight, but when she said those words to me- I don't know, at the time I could only feel anger, betrayal, confusion, and-’

He stopped, you'd talked about how he'd felt after he moved in since he couldn't afford to see a therapist, but this was new as you waited patiently for him to trust you with the rest.

‘I lashed out, then. I didn't hit her, I never could, but I made her feel unsafe around me when I tried to get her to tell me why she was doing this. That's why she's claiming full custody, not because she thinks I was cheating.’ You didn't realize you were holding your breath until your chest started to ache for a different reason, and when you approached him he allowed you to lead him back to the bed so he could sit down.

His eyes were sad again, sadder than you'd ever seen them, and you knew that he'd been carrying this secret the entire time you'd been trying to help him.

‘I needed to tell you before it came out any other way, you deserve to know that much after everything you're doing for me, and that's why I don't blame you or hate you for that kiss, it wasn't like I didn't enjoy just a bit of positive affection, after everything that's been going on…’

‘Lester, I… thank you, for telling me this. You need to tell Gwen when she comes over, Rita is sure to use this and we need to prove to them that this was a one time thing, that you would never hurt your family,’ you told him seriously, your hands grasping his arm as he stared at the floor in shame of his actions no matter how they'd turned out. He nodded but didn't look hopeful, and you knew you shouldn't but still you wrapped your arms around him, let him know you were there and on his side; he eased into you, a long sigh of relief leaving him as you pulled him even closer to you, your hands locking over his arm when you felt him tremble.

‘It's my own fault, I caused this…’ You held him tighter, your face burying into his shoulder as he covered his own with his hand. ‘Maybe if I'd paid better attention to her, listened to her concerns, been a better husband-’

‘You did everything you could, I've never known you to be anything but that,’ you insisted as he shook his head, not wanting to hear it.

‘It wasn't good enough.’

You fell back onto the mattress, dragging him with you until he lost his balance, and as soon as he was laying down you let go of his arms to instead sit up and cup his cheeks so he'd look at you. ‘Stop it. I've been doing this a long time, Lester. I've seen truly bad people do even worse things, and I've seen colleagues I trusted represent these people in order to make them look like saints. I've seen bad, I've seen terrible, neglect, abuse, evil. And you're none of these things,’ you insisted, and when he was unable to look away he just laid there and listened as the tears rolled down his cheeks. ‘You're a wonderful father, and even if you made a mistake in a moment of great distress, that doesn't make you a monster.

‘The monsters are out there, waiting to strike when you're most vulnerable, and they'll take and devour until good people like you are gone. And I won't let that happen to you or your kids, do you hear me?’ He met your eye when your hands started to shake, not with sadness but determination at your words, you were going to help him, he was going to get his kids back, and you'd fight off any monster it took to get to that point.

‘Why're you doing this for me?’ he suddenly asked as he fell completely still, and your hands left him as you sat back and just stared at him. ‘I know I've been staying here, but we still barely know each other, not enough for you to do this much.’

Because I love you.

‘Because I'm your friend, or, I thought I was, if you think that we're not close enough for this.’ You couldn't pretend it didn't hurt, your face betraying how hard you were trying to keep it together, and when he took your hands and brought you down you fell just as easily as he did.

‘You are, and you've been there for me when none of the others have,’ he whispered into your hair, your chest aching as you remembered just how many people had been at his parties. ‘Once it got out that I punched that wall they all sided with her, if it wasn't for you I'd be alone.’

‘It's not fair.’

‘...I'm sorry to put all this on you.’

‘No, it's not fair that she's taking everything from you. I wish I had contacted Gwen first, I wish I could be the one to do this for you, you don't know- fuck, I don't understand it,’ you moaned as you rested your cheek on his chest, the two of you just holding each other as the sun rose even higher in the sky and officially started the day. ‘We'll tell her everything, she's good, I've seen her help so many good people who didn't stand a chance otherwise, and I know you do despite how this all looks; we’ll convince them all it's not true, I won't stop until we do.’

‘You're a good friend, I wish I'd met you sooner,’ he said softly, and you could hear his smile as your hands clung to his shirt this time.

‘Yeah, I do too.’

You both laid there until you fell asleep again, he really needed the comfort of another person there in order to really relax, and you both felt better as you woke up a second time a few hours later. Your entire home felt less tense, and there was no running around as you made some brunch and went over what you were going to say. Thanks to your report she already knew a lot of what'd happened from your perspective, but getting to meet with him would be what he needed now that he was ready to talk about everything and not just what you thought you knew.

When she finally arrived it felt like there was some real hope for him, everything coming out about that night as you all sat down in your living room and spread out the pages on your coffee table. He told you how she'd approached him before bed just after he'd tucked in Annie and Shaun, how she demanded he tell her the truth about who he was seeing, and when he couldn't answer how she'd then accused him of cheating in plain sight. Your heart ached and your hands gripped your couch so hard that they cramped as you listened, Lester going into full detail about how she'd then refused to say who she thought he was seeing, which you knew, but also slapped him when he tried to tell her the truth.

You saw red at that, Gwen stopping the conversation like she'd just realized you'd been there the whole time. ‘Maybe it'd be better if you went for a drive while I talk to him, without representing him there isn't much you can do here,’ she suggested carefully, Lester already starting to shut down as he touched the same cheek as your own slap.

‘No, I want to be here for him, everyone else left and I refuse to do the same, I have no one to break confidentiality with,’ you insisted as you sat up straighter, and when Lester gave a small nod to confirm that he'd prefer your presence there Gwen could only agree and let him finish.

‘Well, after she hit me we ended up arguing loud enough to wake Deni, whose room is closest to ours. She made sure to keep Shaun away when we got louder, she's too responsible for her age, it's because of her that I was able to snap out of it,’ he continued as he fiddled with the pencil he'd used to fill out the forms she'd brought. ‘But first, when Rita was yelling at me, tried to make me believe that I was lying to her and that I was just trying to keep seeing this lover she was convinced I had, when I was starting to get frustrated and couldn't get a word in, that's when she asked for the divorce, or demanded it, really, there was no asking.

‘She was sick of me bringing this lover around to flaunt in front of her, started listing off all these times where I’d invited friends over for stuff like parties and movie nights, but it was always with people she knew, I still don’t- anyway, I think I might’ve blacked out after that, because the next thing I knew I was yelling at her, and when I looked down my knuckles were scratched up and there was an indent in our wall.’ He swallowed heavily, Gwen writing everything down as she stared up at him with a level expression.

‘Did you hit her at any point?’ she asked not to accuse or insinuate, but still you frowned at her as he shut his eyes and tried to concentrate.

‘No, I hit the wall but that was it, I didn’t even grab her when she backed away,’ he confessed, and you hated the woman even more as the tears started to fall again. ‘She told me she wanted full custody right before Deni rushed in to make sure everything was okay, and I didn’t argue with her again about it for the rest of the night.’

‘You slept on the couch?’

‘Deni’s room, she has one of those bunkbeds with the folding couch as the bottom bunk, since her friends are always staying the night; I slept on that since she didn’t want me to be alone, I swear she’s too mature…’ He smiled fondly but sadly as he cleaned himself up, he really missed her and her siblings, and you exchanged a look with Gwen as she finished writing. ‘The next morning she had a bag already packed for me, we were supposed to go on vacation so it was at the end of the bed, said she wanted me out because she was done listening to my lies, and I’ve only been back once since then to properly pack when the kids were out of the house so they wouldn’t have to see us fight again.’

‘And did you fight, that second time?’

‘No, I just packed up a few suitcases and left while she kept watch, made sure I didn’t take anything, it’s only while she was heading for the door that I was able to grab a picture of our kids from the TV stand.’ He let out a breath, he felt better getting it all out to someone who was going to help him, like a sinner confessing to a priest, and you reached over and gave his hand a reassuring pat as Gwen hummed to herself and put her notebook down.

‘Do you think you’d be able to remember exactly who was at these events she listed? If we can make a comprehensible list of everyone there we might be able to guess who she thinks this lover is, get them to stand with us and tell the judge that this is all a big understanding, although I do think a divorce might be beneficial for everyone after the amount of distrust and toxicity that arose between you,’ she said honestly, and instantly he straightened up, his hands grasping the table as he nearly fell to his knees.

‘But my kids-’

‘We’ll still fight for custody, at best it’ll be shared, but that’ll be better than letting her get full, don’t you agree?’ He nodded, even though he didn’t like the sound of not being able to see them everyday he still nodded all the same, and you reached for him again when Gwen interrupted by handing him her notebook, a new page waiting for him. ‘Try and remember as many names as you can, from as many of her events as well, everything helps right now,’ she told him as he took it, and he nodded again before concentrating on all the friends he tended to invite to his many parties; you didn’t realize how much you missed them until that moment, missed how in his element he was as he helped grill, set up the projector, toweled off his kids until they were embarrassed and had to fix their hair in front of their laughing friends.

The man before you was so different than him, all hunched shoulders and sad eyes, and with each name that he added to the list you knew that it was your fault he looked like this, everything all because of you and the reason why he wasn't at home right now throwing another party and jumping into the pool with a full stomach and reckless abandon. You wanted to tell him sorry again, your hands clasped in your lap as he finished up the list and handed it back over, Gwen’s eyes trailing over it for any names that stood out repeatedly when her frown of concentration turned to one of concern instead.

‘This is very helpful, thank you, I’ll start contacting them this week if you can give me their numbers next, and would you be able to help me grab something from the car real quick?’ The second part was directed at you, and your own frown turned to one of matching concern as he began going through his phone to write down as many numbers as he could before your return. You followed her outside, her car parked behind yours since his was hidden in your garage, but she didn’t go to it as soon as she shut the door behind herself. ‘It’s you, isn’t it?’

‘What?’

‘Please don’t play dumb with me right now, your name was listed under every single event right down to the movie night with one other couple, you’re the one Rita thinks he’s cheating on her with, aren’t you?’ Her gaze was serious and almost angry as she spoke, no more neutral calmness as she stared you down, and you tried to say no before it all spilled out all at once.

‘Don’t tell him, please-’

‘Jesus!’

‘We never did anything, he only ever invited me over with everyone else, there really was nothing going on,’ you insisted desperately, Gwen rubbing her eyes as she backed away from you.

‘You’ve just made this so much harder to prove, he’s been staying at your fucking house for weeks,’ she groaned into her palm, her eyes on the door like she could see him still seated at the couch on the other side of the wood. ‘What did you do to give her the impression that he was seeing you, because clearly he has no idea it’s you.’

‘Nothing-! I really did nothing, I just showed up a few times, it wasn't even that many, I would never pursue a married man.’ You needed her to believe you, she was his only shot and even though you only just barely knew each other you knew that if she bailed then that was it, no one else would help him. ‘I swear to you, my intentions have only been innocent since the start, he doesn’t even know I-’

‘You have feelings for him, sonofabitch if that gets out her lawyer will use that to high heaven, everything you’ve done will be twisted into something selfish, you letting him stay here could end up being his downfall, how could you do something so stupid?’

You bit your lip as you rested against the wall of the entryway, the bricks cold against your back as you fought not to shake. ‘I know it was stupid, but he’d just lost everything, I didn’t want him to keep shelling out money for that hotel while he tried to save up for a house, I thought this was the only way to help him…’

‘We’re going to find him a place today, and he’s going to stay in a hotel until this hearing is over and he can move in.’

‘What, no, he can’t afford it!’

‘And you can’t afford to have Rita find out he’s been here. Fuel to the fire, you know how we work, you know whoever she’s hired will take one look at this situation and use it as proof that you wanted him to yourself, no wife, no kids, just a man who was more than willing to leave his family behind the moment you asked.’ She sighed deeply as you crumbled to the steps, your leg spreading over the small two leading to your sidewalk as you ran your hands through your hair. ‘I know you had good intentions, but this has gotten way out of hand, and if you really want to help him then you’ll keep your distance until this is over. Whether he really is just a friend or if you’re in love with him, you know there’s a good chance you might have to stand up there in front of everyone and explain all of this if her lawyer demands to call on you as proof, and the more deniability you both have to her claims the better, alright?’

‘Alright,’ you repeated, and she left you a moment to grab a box of something from her car to make it seem like you weren’t out there to talk. You stood as she returned, getting the door for her since her hands were now full, and he was none the wiser as you sat again and started going over all the listings he’d bookmarked since he’d been kicked out.

Gwen ended up staying for much longer than expected as you went on a tour of his listings, his insistence that you come along the only reason you weren’t secretly forced to stay home. He’d found both a mix of decently large apartments and smaller houses, nothing near as grand as his old one, but each was affordable, cozy, and in range of both his kids’ school and his work. In the end he was able to make a successful offer on a one-story house similar to yours, and the price was lower due to it needing a bit of work, but it had three bedrooms, two for Deni and Shaun while Annie would sleep in his, a yard big enough to house a pool that just needed to be cleaned and refilled, and a living room big enough for everyone to have more fun movie nights.

It was a dream home, but the work had daunted all the other potential buyers, and he was more than ready to take on the challenge and fix it up himself if need be to distract himself from the upcoming hearing. You wished you could help him with it, but between work and needing to stay as far away from that home as possible you could only cheer him on from afar as he signed the paperwork that day and worked out a payment plan now that Gwen was there to represent him.

‘This is amazing, Deni will want this room because I know Shaun will have claimed this one, the kitchen needs some work but a new stove and some fresh paint will open the space right up, and this living room! If we keep the couches against the wall then everyone will be able to spread out again, maybe I’ll be able to get that sectional I wanted this time, that way there’ll be room for everyone without the need of a loveseat, but of course I need to fix that wall first; good thing this place is so small, I might be able to knock it out in a weekend- hey, you alright?’ You were snapped out of your thoughts as he leaned down a bit to look you in the eye, his ramblings about his new place coming to a halt when he noticed your expression. ‘You’ve been staring at the closet for about five minutes, I’m pretty sure there’s no monsters in it.’

You weakly laughed, stuck between being happy to see this side of him again and knowing that you wouldn’t be able to help with a single thing, it would just be him here, alone. ‘I’m alright, just thinking, I guess,’ you admitted as Gwen talked to the realtor in the kitchen, a space cleared off for more papers to be signed as they discussed ownership and payment. ‘Things are gunna be busy for me, for a while. Once the power and water get turned back on and you can move in I don’t think we’ll be able to see each other for a while.’

‘That’s okay, we can always see each other on Thursdays,’ he joked, but that only made this sting all the more as the darkness in the closet grew. ‘I really am thankful for all your help so far, but I’ll be alright while I do this; if fixing up an entire house will prove to them that I’m serious about wanting to see my kids more than a few times a year then I’ll do it, I used to be a bit of a handyman before I got my big, important office job, y’know.’ You laughed again, you didn’t doubt it after his emergency help when he backed up your sink and then had to fix it before the water spread to the living room.

‘I just wish I could help you, chores are always better with company, remember?’ you reminded him as you met his eye, and when he smiled and pulled you into a hug you felt Gwen’s eyes on you as you held him back.

‘I know, but if you’ve gotta work it can’t be helped, I can man a broom and mop on my own, just need to get a radio in here and maybe it’ll feel a little more lively.’

‘You can get spotify on your phone, then you won’t need to get a radio,’ you suggested, and when he pulled away he looked confused.

‘What’s that? I’ve heard Deni mention it before but I never figured it out, R- her mother was always better with technology,’ he frowned in confusion, and you laughed again before pulling out your phone and getting him to do the same.

Gwen dropped you both off less than an hour later, someone coming to the house within the week to get the power back on after the last storm knocked it out, and with no one living there no one had bothered to get it fixed again. The water had also been turned off as well as the heat just to save money, and as soon as it all was in working order again he was free to sweep out the master bedroom and move right in, the rest was up to him. You hadn’t been able to resist his request to go shopping with him for a new bed, he was always bad with those kinds of things and ended up regretting his choice as soon as he got home, so a second opinion was very much needed despite Gwen silently warning you not to.

‘I’d love to, the sooner that’s sorted the sooner you don’t have to sleep on the floor,’ you agreed, and you silently apologized to her as she let out a sigh. ‘You’re on your own with everything else though, and you’re not stealing my broom to clean up that mess, I’d much rather throw it out than let it back into my house.’

‘I’ll get two, one to keep and one to throw,’ he decided from the backseat, his phone out again as he started adding things to his cart despite not even being moved yet; he was ready to have the place livable so his kids could visit even before the hearing, and you didn’t have the heart to tell him it’d still have to be a while if Rita denied him visitation. It'd been so long already since you'd seen him so energetic, and it made you smile even though he'd have to do this next part alone; it'd be hard but he'd lived through that first month on his own, so he'd be able to do it again in his own space if he had the hope that it'd be full again urging him on, you knew he could.

You both waved goodbye as she drove away, and you couldn't help but join in his celebration as he ran out to grab dinner from his favourite place as well as some alcohol, neither of you had drank since he moved in after he hit the bottle too hard in that lonely hotel room. You had your own personal movie night as you finally got to show him the one you brought but had never gotten to watch, and sure enough he wasn't a fan of horror as he cowered almost dramatically on his end of the couch while you laughed and told him to watch the part coming up, it would be good, you promised.

You didn't get to bed until late again, you couldn't exactly sleep when he was sitting where your feet should be, but you knew you wouldn't be getting comfortable once the TV turned off and he shot you another nervous glance. He didn't even have to say it, he needed someone there more than ever with his upcoming lonely nights waiting for him, and this time you didn't kiss him as you both got into bed and fell asleep easier than you ever had before.

The house was ready for him sooner rather than later, the text that he was good to go actually arriving as you were out shopping for a bed. He was indecisive as hell, trying out every mattress to make sure it was good for his back, and even when he found one that was comfortable he tended to pass on it just in case something even better was on display. He was laying down on what felt like his millionth mattress when he got the text, his eyes opening wide as he sat up only to flinch as his back did indeed twinge.

‘The water’s on, why don't we go over now, start cleaning up?’ he suggested excitedly, and your smile fell as you thought about how you shouldn't even be doing this much.

‘I don't know, shouldn’t we stay and get a bed if you can move in asap?’ you tried to defer, and he gave the one he was on a little bounce before getting up.

‘I'll take this one, it can stay on the floor until I get a frame, let's hurry up and go!’ While you were glad to have this nightmare end, it only caused the second one to start as he flagged down an employee and got the price, a frame ending up catching his eye on the way now that his big dilemma was solved. He bought both and together with two employees you stuffed it all into his car, the mattress thankfully crammed into a box to his amazement and saving him a ton of space.

He also bought all the things he'd need to clean, his new broom and mop laying across the seat with a bag full of supplies and towels. You pretended to not feel the entire weight of them on your shoulders all the way to his new home, the spare keys already picked up from under the rock by the door and in his pocket before you could exit the car.

He threw open the door and rushed back to get the broom, you in charge of the mop by default as he began to sweep with all the enthusiasm of a cartoon princess, and it only made you fall harder until his actions caught up with him and he needed to sweep himself a small circle so he could sit down. You shook your head and took over for him, all the windows thrown up and the patio door open wide to air the place out until he was ready to help again, Lester now confined to cleaning off the counters while you handled the floor. The playlist you’d made on your phone followed you around as you did each room, his own playing even more favourites in the kitchen and then bathroom as he worked, his fight with spotify now rectified and used in his favour, music already filling the home as you tossed out bag after bag of garbage until it was time to mop.

He had the bucket already full for you when you went for it, the counters all cleaned and the bath/shower combo getting the attention it very much deserved next. It was a lot faster to wash the floors, and even though you knew they'd only get dirty again as the walls were patched up and painted eventually, it was still nice to stand in the living room and take everything in when you both were done. You dumped the dirty water down the drain and carried the bags to the road to be collected, Lester's single one joining yours when he was done scrubbing, and together you sat on the floor and decided if it'd be cheaper to patch everything up yourselves or hire someone to do it before he started moving his stuff in.

In the end he called someone out on the patio while you looked up weed wackers on your phone, the yard needing just as much attention; the pool would come last, it was already heading into fall after all so it'd just be covered up again before long, but it could at least be inspected and cleaned for next year once everything else was done. You ordered one for him so you could both fight over it versus the lawnmower when you found a way to bring it over, that was another expense that could wait til later, and you didn't realize you were smiling again until he walked back in and collapsed much too hard next to you.

‘He can come tomorrow, someone canceled on him today so we lucked out,’ he informed you as he rubbed his sore butt from the fall, and you almost didn't catch it until your brain replayed what he'd said.

‘You lucked out, you mean,’ you corrected, and he winced at you as he stretched his long legs out in front of him

‘What?’

‘You said we lucked out, but you did, I'm not the one who lives here,’ you repeated, and he laughed a little as he brushed his bangs out of his eyes, his forehead shining from the sweat he'd been working up the past few hours.

‘Oh yeah, I think I forgot that part,’ he chuckled softly, and the air changed a little as your forced humour turned to something just as soft. ‘You've been doing so much, I think I forgot… that you're not coming with me, when this is over, it just feels like you've always been here already.’ You couldn't speak, your heart pounding as he interpreted your expression as something negative. ‘Sorry, didn't mean to put you on the spot like that again-!’

‘No, you didn't, it’s just that… I just realized that I think I started moving in my stuff in my mind as I was cleaning,’ you admitted nervously, and he laughed a little more easily again as the summer breeze drifted in and filled the house with the smells of barbecues and fresh cut grass. ‘I mean, I don't need two couches all that much, you know I'm too busy to host movie nights, so if you wanted one you could have it…’

‘You sure? I really was looking forward to that sectional,’ he joked with a soft jab to your arm, which you returned with a blush.

‘I can always take it back when you find your dream couch, it'd give me an excuse to see how the place turned out.’

‘You won't visit before then?’

You found yourself lost for words, of course you'd visit when this was over and cleared up, but it was the way he'd said it, like he was worried it'd take a couch in order to get you back there. ‘Of course, you think I'm gunna miss out on your first movie night in your new place?’ you said as your voice clearly shook, but he didn't mention it as he laid back and stretched out his back over the hardwood.

‘Good, I'll make extra dip that night so you can bring some home, as thanks,’ he already planned ahead, his eyes closed and unable to see the way you let your face crumble at the thought of having to leave again after all of this.

‘Well if that doesn't give me more incentive to lend it to you.’ You stood up, brushing off your pants and cracking your back before offering your hand to him. ‘Alright, that's enough sitting around, might as well get that frame built before it gets too late.’

‘Empty house with just a bed, someone might think I'm squatting,’ he snickered as you helped him stand, and when his torso hit your chest you didn't back away immediately.

‘Nonsense, there's some towels in the bathroom too,’ you said with a wink as you headed for the car, the two of you managing to haul the frame in yourself thanks to some determination and spare cardboard underneath the end dragging on the ground so his floors wouldn't get scratched.

You didn't get home until late, even more takeout bought just because you were too tired and achy to stand around and cook, absolutely not. He wasn't that happy about all the unhealthy eating he'd been doing lately so he ended up ordering a small vegetarian pizza while you secretly planned ahead and ordered a large deluxe with some chicken wings, his favourite sauce also picked out when he wasn't looking. The smell filled the car all the way home, and sure enough he didn't last long with the vegetarian when he caught sight of the deluxe taking up half the coffee table.

‘You're terrible, you know I'm trying to eat better,’ he grumbled as he reached for a slice, and you swatted at his hand before grabbing a second for yourself.

‘This is my dinner for the next three days, if you wanted this you should've asked for one,’ you said nonchalantly as you took a big, dramatic bite, Lester eyeing it before you could only take pity on him and move the box a little closer. He split his pizza with you as he picked off the toppings he didn't like to create the perfect combo of both, and you pretended you absolutely didn't grab his favorite sauce on purpose when he also gave in and stole some wings.

You could get used to this, you really could as he moved to your couch to be closer to the pizza; he was closer to you than usual, even more than normal couch sharing standards, and you tried to keep your eyes on the screen as you reached for another slice. Your hand hit his as he grabbed another wing, both foods dropped as you apologized and looked at each other, but when his gaze lingered longer than usual, just like the closing space between you, you found yourself doing anything but looking away from his mouth. He was smiling at you, that kind, gentle smile you'd fallen in love with at Walkers all those months ago, and even though you knew he didn't need this, knew that this would only make things worse, you couldn't stop yourself when he closed his eyes and waited.

You jumped when your phone suddenly buzzed, Lester sitting back and putting some space between you again when you saw that it was Gwen on the caller ID. ‘I'm sorry, I gotta take this,’ you mumbled as he cleared his throat and went back to eating, your face hot and your frown deep as you locked yourself in your bedroom. ‘Hey, sorry, we're watching a movie,’ you said the moment she picked up, but she didn't seem to catch your tone when the sound of shuffling came through the speaker.

‘That's fine, how's the house coming?’

‘It's all ready for him, w- he got it cleaned up today.’

‘...Were you there with him?’ She asked like she already knew, and you couldn't lie to her when the stakes were so high.

‘We were already in town to shop for a bed, we decided to go after he found one, get started on the cleanup right away,’ you explained, and her sigh was all the answer you needed. ‘I know, but you saw the place, it would've taken him forever to-’

‘That's not your concern, not right now. When is he moving in?’ she interrupted, and you looked at the closed door as the movie continued on the other side.

‘Soon, the fridge is busted and he needs a dresser along with food, we can d-’

‘He can do that, no more shopping together, no getting groceries together, tell him no the next time he asks. Now that we know it's you who's to say someone won't be able to stand up there and say they saw you arrive and leave together, while acting like a couple the entire time upon further reflection? You're smart, please don't make another stupid mistake like this again, for his sake.’ She fell silent as she let the words sink in, and you looked at his suitcases, left open while his clothes were stacked on your dresser to be a little neater, how he'd need to pack them up again within the week at this rate.

‘I won't, I'll tell him I have a case coming up so I'll be scarce, he'll be able to do the rest over the weekend,’ you decided solemnly, and she agreed with that before changing the subject.

‘I've been told that the hearing has been scheduled for two weeks from now, when the children are back in school, Rita apparently requested that they not be present, and yes, before you say anything, it'll probably be because they'll not only vouch for him, but also because they don't need to see their parents arguing to that degree,’ she sighed heavily, and you quickly entered the date into your phone before you realized that you would only be there as a witness, you had two weeks to tell him the truth before he found it out from her unless you preferred to lie to his face some more about your feelings.

‘I'll let him know, and he'll be moved by next week, he'll want to be at the thought of them visiting.’ She liked the sound of that and hung up, and you banged your forehead dully off the door before opening it up and finding him on the other side.

‘Sorry, you were taking so long, I wanted to make sure everything was okay,’ he said, and he either didn't hear the bump or was choosing to ignore it even though your forehead slightly throbbed.

‘That was Gwen, actually, the hearing is in two weeks, while Deni and Shaun should be in school,’ you informed him, and his smile grew so wide it made your heart break.

‘So we'll be able to get custody then?’ he asked excitedly, and you shook your head and took in a deep breath.

‘It all depends on how things turn out, if the judge is split then another one might be needed now that we know she might use your anger in her favour even though she was the one to hit you,’ you continued, and just the thought of this not working out was enough to bring him down again. ‘I know it seems bleak, but Les, I know that-’

‘What did you call me?’

‘Did I c-?’

‘Les, you said Les, don't call me that,’ he suddenly said as he stood to his full height, and you flubbed your apology enough times to make him sink down again. ‘Sorry, that's what Rita used to call me, I don't want to hear that name from you,’ he muttered, and before you could say anything else he headed back for the door. ‘I've got work tomorrow, I'll take the couch tonight, I'm too tired to drive all the way home.’

‘You'd leave just for that?’ you blurted out, your body moving on its own to block the doorway before you even knew what you were doing; he didn’t push you aside or get angry, but he did walk past until you had no choice but to let him through, your dinner forgotten on the table as you shut the door again the moment he sat down without saying anything more.

You kept your distance from each other the next day, him by leaving for work early, and then you by staying at work late. You left him a text saying you had your own big case coming up just as planned, but for once he didn’t reply other than to say he would be shopping so it’d be best if you found your own dinner. You ate at your desk as the sun set outside, nothing but old work you needed to sort through and properly file away on your docket as you nibbled away at cold pizza.

Once it hit the AMs you figured it was safe to go home, no matter where he slept you’d be able to avoid him if need be now that there was something off between you, and if you didn’t lay down somewhere and fast you were bound to either sleep at your desk or in your car. The drive home felt like an eternity but finally you made it, the house quiet and telling you that he was indeed asleep. You opened the door as quietly as you could, all the lights off as you traversed the long trek to your couch when you didn’t see him on it; you were about to lay down when you saw the paper on the coffee table, the words completely unintelligible in the dim light. You held it up to your face until it came into focus, your eyes taking it in several times before you dropped it and rushed to your bedroom.

You threw open the door to find the room empty, his suitcases packed and your bed made, no Lester in sight. You went back to the note and read it again with the lights on, your face contorting in misery as you sank into the cushions. It said that he’d grabbed the last of his needed furniture that trip, so there was no need for him to steal your bed or couch for another night. He thanked you for your help, and he’d pay you back for everything else at the end of the month, and there was no goodbye, just his name at the bottom. You woke up your phone to see if he’d left you any texts or voicemails but there was nothing, he’d gone shopping and then that was it.

This was for the best, you were never meant to go with him and he was never meant to stay, now he could focus on his family again without you there to distract him. You’d helped as much as he could and now he could take care of the rest by himself, he was a grown man, he needed you as a friend, not a roommate, not a partner, definitely not as a lover, everything could move forward again now.

‘At least I can come home tomorrow,’ you figured aloud as you turned the light back off, your shoes and coat left in the middle of the living room as you shed each. ‘I can make my own dinners again, sleep in my own bed, everything is back to normal.’ You shut your bedroom door and locked it, no need to keep it open when there was no one to walk in, your bed looking a little too made as you yanked the comforter free and sent the pillows flying. ‘No more suitcases on my floor that’ll make me trip in the middle of the night, and no more ties getting stuck in my dryer because he doesn’t know how to do fucking laundry.’

You picked up your pillows and threw them back into place, your face betraying you as you attempted to force a smile and only ended up accelerating the misery. You angrily wiped at your eyes before climbing into bed, your position changing from your left side as you faced the empty space beside you, to your right where you wouldn’t eventually feel his arm wrap around your waist, to your back as you stared up at the ceiling. You blinked and more tears fell but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he did this to you after everything you’d done for him, your hands wet as you repeatedly tried to dry your eyes.

‘Couldn’t even say goodbye to me before you left, you bastard,’ you swore to the ceiling, the space beside you feeling bigger and bigger until you felt encompassed by it. ‘You said I was the only one who didn’t leave you, why’d you throw me away, wh- no. He’s the one who left, and he didn’t even leave, he went home. That was never here, I knew this was coming, I knew…’ Your words echoed off the walls above you, reminding you even more that you were alone, and that across town he was feeling the same, and would feel the same until he was able to have his custody confirmed.

This wasn't about you, or what you’d done for him, or your feelings. This was about him, his marriage ending, and his upcoming battle for his children. That’s what it’d always been about, you’d just forgotten between him admitting that he’d almost wanted you to move in with him and you nearly kissing him again on the couch.

You rolled onto your stomach and shut your eyes tight as you tried not to remember it, that had to have been why he’d left, you’d told him you had no feelings for him and yet you’d still leaned in of your own volition that second time. He’d seen right through you, and then you’d proceeded to call him by the nickname his wife used, how many more ways could you have fucked this up? You didn’t scream into your pillow, you were too old for that now, but you might’ve raised your voice into it a little as you curled up and felt just how cold the bed was without him.

You changed your grocery day to Monday so there was no chance of running into him again, you needed to give him space after such a big mistake, but you knew you couldn’t keep it up as soon as you stepped foot into the store and knew that he wouldn’t be waiting for you both inside and at home. You promptly walked back out and found another, their stock not as good and their prices a bit higher, but this would have to become your new regular. It was at least a bit closer to home, and still very far from his house, so even if he had the same idea there’d still be no risk of him finding you here on a Monday.

You missed your Caramel Pecan as you unpacked your food, this place not having its own dessert counter since it focused mainly on brands, nothing fresh made in-store, and you definitely felt the dent in your wallet as you found yourself with barely enough to restock after the missed week of not wanting to see him again and just not getting yourself any new food. You wondered if maybe you might need to cut back to two or less trips a month with this new place, honestly you’d only started going every week in order to see him in the first place, he’d always gone through food faster since he was buying for four, maybe this would be less painful on your finances going forward.

This really would be for the best to get back to normal you decided as you made yourself something for dinner, and when you sat down in front of the TV to enjoy it you ignored all the commercials about back to school sales.

You were at work when you got the reminder for the hearing, it going off in the middle of a meeting and forcing you to remember that you’d completely forgotten to silence your phone before entering the room. Your expression went from embarrassment to concerned sadness at the popup, your boss asking if you were done as you just stared at your screen.

‘Uh, yeah, sorry about that,’ you apologized as you turned it off and got back to listening, your hand on your pocket for the entire rest of the meeting.

As soon as it was done you headed for the privacy of your office and shut the door, Gwen already dialed the moment it clicked into place. She didn’t pick up right away, she was probably busy, but the moment she did she was quick to tell you it wasn't a good time.

‘I don’t care, I need to be there tomorrow,’ you said as fast as you could, your knees giving out at the realization that you’d actually planned on saying you wouldn’t come, that you couldn’t, that you’d just be a liability. The words had fallen from you faster than you could think, and you put her on speaker and collapsed into your chair when you nearly dropped your phone. ‘I tried, I really did, but I need to know how this ends.’

‘I really can’t talk about this right now-’

‘But I need to! I’ve been trying not to think about it, just get back to normal, but every time I imagine him out there in front of everyone I just- he said everyone else left, I don’t want him to be alone tomorrow, I can’t do that to him, Gwen, I just can’t.’ Your face fell into your hand, your shoulders hunched as you gripped your chair and tried not to let everyone see outside your door how much this one person and his troubles were affecting you, and she sighed before speaking again.

‘And if tomorrow ends up like we discussed?’

‘Then I’ll deal with that too, with or without him.’ You heard another sigh, but even if she were to have you banned from the building somehow you knew you’d find your way into this, no matter if Rita had you called up there as her main proof or not.

‘Fine, I’m not your mother, but be prepared for anything,’ she warned before hanging up, she really didn’t have time for more, and you didn’t call back again as you gave yourself a minute to just breathe. She was right, you really needed to be prepared, and you were; as a lawyer you always went to the worst possible solution and planned ahead to avoid that, and that had treated you well in both your career and life until you’d met him. Before then, you never would’ve stayed the moment Rita gave you that look. You wouldn’t have gone back for movie night, and you certainly wouldn’t have invited him over.

But there was something about him that kept disarming you, that brought your guard down and made you believe that nothing bad would happen if you just went with his flow, and now look where you’d made him end up. You wouldn’t do that tomorrow, in fact you’d be the most You you’d been in months for him in order to make sure this went as smoothly as possible. You wouldn’t react with or to him at all, or anything concerning him as you sat on his side of the court. You wouldn’t speak out of turn no matter what she said, and you definitely wouldn’t speak to him.

And if they did indeed find it necessary to call in witnesses to prove their statements, then you would swallow down your feelings as deep as they would go and prove to everyone that you really were just his friend and that she was wrong, because that was the truth.

You couldn’t concentrate after that, needing to call in early to head home and prepare, and you spent the entire rest of the day picking out your outfit for tomorrow, setting way too many alarms, and preparing a king’s feast of food to bring to his house no matter the outcome; you knew it wouldn’t help, but if it went in her favour then you knew he’d spiral again, lose all hope for the future, and you would not let him do that alone. You packed it all into a bunch of tupperware you rarely used outside of work lunches and stuffed it into the fridge, and by the time that, a change of outfit just in case, and a shower were finally over you ended up tired and ready for bed.

You set one more alarm and placed your phone on your nightstand before attempting to sleep, your eyelids heavy but refusing to stay closed as you went over everything a hundred more times. Your mind was fully racing in the dark and quiet when your phone buzzed and lit you up, and you considered ignoring it before accepting that maybe a little eye strain might work in your favour. You grabbed it and tapped the screen to check the notification, all the tired leaving your body when you saw what was waiting for you.

Lester Billings says: I miss you

You swallowed as you rolled onto your stomach, your phone taking up your pillow as you propped yourself up on your elbows. ‘It’s been lonely here, I won’t lie,’ you said aloud as you typed, and you almost deleted it before pressing send. Three dots bounced at the bottom of the message as he typed back, your back aching from the angle but you refused to move as the next words popped up.

I haven’t been able to sleep since I got here This mattress isn’t very comfortable

You let out a small laugh, your eyes already starting to cloud as you rested your chin on the end of the pillow before your hands. ‘I knew you picked too soon, you should’ve tried out more.’

I should’ve gotten your opinion Your bed is comfier

You shut your eyes tight and buried your face in the pillow a moment, another ping making you look up again when the pillow started to wetten.

Will you be there tomorrow

‘Yes,’ you answered immediately, your back still aching as you readjusted and typed as fast as you could, ‘if you want me to be, I wasn't sure after you left so suddenly.’ You sent it before you could even think to type something else, your eyes widening in fear at this confession, and when more dots bounced you closed your eyes so you wouldn’t see his answer. Your phone buzzed but you waited for as long as you could before opening them again, a small noise leaving you as you read.

I thought you wanted me to go

‘What? No,’ you told your phone, and you sat up to call him only for him to decline it. ‘I never wanted you to go, I’m sorry if I rushed you,’ you hurriedly sent, and there was a bit of a pause before his next reply.

You told Gwen you’d lie to me Said I’d be out by the end of the week I thought you didn’t want me there

You tried again to call him but he again declined, and you were in the middle of typing out the explanation when he messaged you again first.

I can’t sleep I want to see you Can you come over Yes.

You didn’t even change out of your pajamas as you kicked off the blankets and hurried for the door, your car started by the time you slipped into the one pair of sandals that you owned but never wore. You almost forgot to lock up you were in such a hurry, the streets thankfully almost empty as you fought not to speed to him. The lights were all off and his car was in the driveway, the yard now cleaned up while he was there since you guessed he also needed the distraction. Your hand was raised to knock when the door opened, and there he stood, in pajama pants and an undershirt, his hair a mess and bags under his eyes as he looked down at you.

‘Lester, I-’ you began before he pulled you into a tight hug, and you had no one to hide from as you nuzzled into his shoulder and held him just as tightly back. He led you inside, the door locked behind you, you weren’t going home, and you tossed your keys onto the kitchen counter just out of reach before following him to the bedroom. He’d bought himself a dresser in your absence, all of his clothes tucked neatly inside so his suitcases could finally be retired, and his bed looked big and lonely and not as comfortable as it did when you’d helped him set it up.

‘It’s not as comfortable as yours,’ he repeated quietly, his first words to you since he’d slept on your couch that final time, and you grabbed his hand and gently pulled him towards it.

‘Let me get that second opinion, then,’ you whispered, and when you kneeled onto the mattress you sank right down. You laid to his right, the two of you on your backs with space between as you stared at the ceiling, the comforter trapper underneath you but also unneeded in the summer heat, his AC must also not be working that well. You noticed he had his window open to let in the breeze, and you breathed deep when the wind blew the curtains open a little more. ‘It’s not that bad,’ you finally decided, and he turned to look at you before rolling onto his side.

‘Why did you want me to go?’ he asked without wasting another second, and you shut your eyes before rolling to face him.

‘I never did, it was Gwen, she was worried someone might think that I- that we…’

‘That you were the one Rita was worried about, I get it,’ he realized, but he didn’t look very relieved. ‘I had a feeling, but I wish you’d have told me, I really thought that you were… leaving me too.’

‘I was supposed to keep my distance from you, that was her legal advice, for me to not be seen with you and make anyone think we were together,’ you admitted now that you could, and again he looked like he understood but that that didn’t help it hurt any less. ‘But hanging out with you, going shopping and then cleaning this place up, I didn’t know how to stay away, and I knew if I couldn’t pull this off then it’d only hurt you in the end.’

‘To tell you the truth, I’d have rather been kicked out for that than spend the past two weeks thinking no one wanted me in their life anymore.’ His voice was low, and he was mostly in shadow, but you could still see him crying as he closed his eyes, and when you touched his cheek to wipe the tears away he held your hand in place. ‘I haven’t been alone since Rita and I moved in together, and even before then I always had my family or my roommates; I don’t know how to do this on my own…’

‘You’re not, I’m here, I’ll always be here, because that’s what friends are for,’ you murmured as you brushed your thumb over his cheek to collect the next tear before it hit his nose, and he choked out a small laugh before holding you hand to his chest.

‘I love you,’ he told you then, and you were just about to say it back when he continued. ‘You might be the best friend I’ve ever had, maybe even better than Rita was to me, I’m so glad I met you.’

‘Y-yeah, I’m glad too.’ You were never supposed to be in this part of his life. You were the reason this was happening. He would never feel the same. ‘Do you think you’re ready to get some sleep, now? Big day tomorrow, after all.’

‘I can try, now that you’re here,’ he smiled before getting up to pull the comforter free, and you masked your pain with a smile of your own as you laid back against his chest, his arm around your waist and his soft snores telling you it’d worked again not too long after. You wiped away your tears before placing your hand over his, the cicadas crying outside for you as you also drifted off with the breeze.

Your many alarms came in handy, the first failing to wake either of you in your exhaustion. It was the third that worked since they were so close together, this one making you crack open an eye to check the time instead of just to find the device and shut it up. Your heart raced as the adrenaline woke you fully, and his arm was still around you as you tried to sit and get him up. Seeing him there, still sleeping so peacefully gave you pause however, you’d really missed this sight, but it wasn't yours to keep, he’d sleep better when his kids were able to visit, this was the last time.

You swallowed it down and gave him a shake, Lester startling awake and blinking around in confusion, but when he saw you there, looking down at him with the sunlight streaming in and the wind pushing aside the curtains to cool the room a little more, he actually looked like he…

He didn’t, he couldn’t, he’d said so already, and you held up your phone so he could see the time. ‘I’ve gotta head back and get ready, today’s the day,’ you whispered as his loving smile faded, and it was replaced with a serious expression as he nodded and sprung into action. He also had his outfit prepared, one of his nicer suits for work, the one he’d been wearing when you first met him you realized as he held it up and transferred it from his closet to the end of his bed while he picked out a tie.

‘You should’ve brought your clothes, we could’ve gone in together,’ he said as he looked between the red and the blue patterned ties he was torn between, and you froze as you straightened your shirt before another smile was forced.

‘I’m supposed to not add any fuel to the fire, that would’ve set everything ablaze,’ you chuckled a bit sadly, and he gave you a small look before holding the red up to his chest to look at in his dresser mirror.

‘I don’t care anymore, she can think what she wants, I don’t see her standing here with me. Which one do you like better? I can’t decide and I’ll end up without one if you leave.’ He held both up for you to see, and you decided on the blue after imagining it along with his suit. ‘Thank you, I was thinking the same but I wasn't sure.’

He set it down with his suit and moved onto some socks and other things to pull on after his shower, so you took that as your cue to leave as you slipped past him and headed for the door. Now that it was bright out you could see that he’d really only gotten the dresser and a new fridge, the old stove still in place and everything else unnecessary and just cutting into his finances for now, and you couldn’t help but think that your second couch would fit perfectly in the space against the wall leading to the bedrooms. You located your keys and stepped back into your sandals before opening the door to leave, and you were just about to walk through the threshold when his hands found you again.

They both slipped around your waist, holding you in place and keeping you there with him for just a moment longer, and you spun in his arms in order to hug him back when he surprised you with a kiss to your forehead. It was the first kiss he’d initiated, a show of thanks for coming over and clearing the air, and while it was still platonic as needed it made you wish you could have more all the same, your hands finding his chest, then his shoulders before you pulled him into his hug.

‘I’ll see you there, I wouldn’t miss this for the world,’ you whispered against his chest, and his right hand found the back of your neck before he let you go.

‘See you there,’ he repeated back to you, and then you were leaving, the shape of him on the other side of the glass blurry as he watched you go until your car was pulling out of his driveway.

You hurried home, no time to waste this morning, and you left your car idle and unlocked as you ran inside and had the quickest shower known to man. You got dressed even faster, you didn’t need to be there for hours but you couldn’t stay in your home knowing this was coming, the plan to have some breakfast and coffee at the shop just down the street from the courthouse. You went to check your phone to see if Gwen had said anything when you remembered you’d left it in your car, and you were thankful you lived where you did as it hit you that you almost handed your entire car to potential thieves.

It wouldn’t have mattered, you’d have found a way over regardless, and you hopped back into the seat and headed over for that breakfast before your body decided that you were much too nervous to eat. Parking was thankfully available despite the location thanks to the early hour, and you tossed a bunch of change into the meter before walking in and finding yourself a seat by the window. It was a quaint little place, you knew of it but had never been in before, and it was decently busy with what had to be its regulars as they all chatted and filled the room with light conversation.

‘Can I start you off with a coffee this morning?’ a young man in his what had to be his late 20s asked not too long after you sat down, and you stared at the menu he offered before taking it and ordering your usual blend. ‘We’re doing a special today, couples get their second breakfast half off if there’s anyone else joining you today?’

‘No, I’m not waiting for anyone, thank you,’ you murmured even as you glanced out the window like you were, just to watch for when he’d arrive, and your server nodded and didn’t even miss a beat.

‘Guess I don’t need to tell you that groups get their own discount, then,’ he attempted to joke, and you glanced up at him and his sweet grin that relaxed you enough to smile genuinely back.

‘No, I guess you don’t,’ you answered before finally going to the menu, and you ordered yourself a light breakfast to ease your hungry but also very worried stomach while you waited. He wrote it down, took the menu back, and headed for the kitchen to drop it off, your eyes catching sight of his haircut pulled back into a small ponytail before he disappeared from sight. You went back to your window as you waited for your coffee, and it’d just been placed in front of you when the bell above the door jingled and alerted him to the new person he’d have to talk to.

To your surprise they sat down across from you, and you looked up to see that it was Rita. Your entire body tensed as you failed not to glare, and he looked between the two of you before asking if you knew each other.

‘Not particularly,’ you said through gritted teeth, but she wasn't fazed by your new anger as she just ordered a mint tea and black coffee to go along with two bagels, one raisin with butter and one everything with cream cheese, obvious breakfast for her and whoever she hired to take Lester’s kids from him. You wished you could secretly tell your server to spit in her tea before you calmed and collected yourself, you were an adult, not a child as he walked away to grab everything for her, and she remained across from you as she folded her hands over the table.

‘I assume I don’t need to ask why you’re so close to the courthouse this morning,’ she remarked as she also looked out the window, and you shook your head slowly as you continued your fight to not add more fuel to the fire. ‘Is he meeting you here?’

‘No, I came in to have breakfast alone,’ you replied levelly, you wouldn’t give in to her provoking now that you both knew what she thought of you.

‘No time to do it at home?’ She was probing you to make you slip, probably to bring this back to her lawyer as just a little extra last minute kindling, and you shook your head and sipped at your coffee. ‘I heard he was able to find a place already, does he really think that I’ll let him see our children after this?’ Stay calm, you still had yet to confirm anything about her theories, just ignore her. ‘Because I won’t, not after what he did. I brought a picture of our wall to show the judge today, if such a sweet man can do that to the wall then how long will it be before he’s hurting my children?’

‘Tha-’ You cut yourself off so fast you nearly spilt your coffee, your hands grasped so hard around the cup that it was burning your palms, and you didn’t miss her expression as she smugly got out her buzzing phone.

‘Right on time,’ she said as she stood, your server waiting for her at the counter as he popped the lids onto her drinks. ‘I’ll see you inside, I’m sure the judge will be thrilled that you didn’t hide from this.’

‘I’m not hiding from anything,’ you snapped before you could stop, your eyes only on her as she stopped and looked back at you.

‘Good, that’ll make things so much easier.’

You didn’t look at her as she picked up her food and walked out, your burning hands pressed to the cold wood to cool them down as you glared at your cup, your shoulders so tense that the pain traveling up your neck was about to give you a headache. You didn’t move apart from finding new cold places on the table until your breakfast arrived, but you felt even less hungry than before despite your server’s wishes to enjoy. It took you until your eggs had stopped steaming before you attempted to eat, but every thought went back to her and how she was probably telling her lawyer all about your eventual appearance before them all.

As such you ate slow, the time ticking away as the roads filled out and the sun rose higher; people flooded the streets and avoided your gaze as you searched for a familiar navy car, and the only thing that made you snap out of your search was your phone reminding you that your meter was about to run out. ‘Shit, I’ll be right back, need to put more money in,’ you told your server as he went to pass, and you left your phone on the table as collateral after pointing out your car through the window. You raced out, barely avoiding two old ladies currently walking by, and fished for more change when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

‘Looks like we’re early,’ Lester said behind you, and when you turned you saw Gwen beside him, her face very stern at the fact that he was already standing too close to you. ‘You just finish?’

‘I’ve still got half a plate, just needed to refill this,’ you let him know as you loaded up the meter as high as it would go, and he smiled warmly at you as you led him inside. Your server looked between you all and you asked for two more menus after thanking him for his patience, and just as you made room for him to sit beside you you found Gwen sliding into the space instead. He sat across from you, right where Rita had been not an hour earlier, and he looked nervous but also calm as he opened the menu and started choosing. ‘Looks like you can give us that breakfast talk now,’ you joked at your server, and he readied his notepad as he recalled the deal.

‘Since you haven’t paid yet I’ll count this as a group, but since families and friends have been stopping in together leading up to the start of school we have a deal going on, groups of three and up get a 20% discount off their total, and a 30% discount if you order the Back to School Special,’ he explained, Gwen clearly not listening but Lester paying attention fully as he set the menu down.

‘What’s that?’

‘It used to just be for kids, but everyone started ordering it, so- excuse me, it includes three meats, three eggs, home fries, toast, and a free glass of juice or milk, everything a growing kid needs before a busy day at school,’ he told him, and Lester smiled wide and asked for just that, his drink of choice orange juice since lactose tended to upset him in large amounts and he was feeling sick enough already. It was too much information and it made you smile fondly as your server let out a laugh he then quickly stifled as he took his menu back.

‘I’ll just have the coffee and brown sugar oatmeal, thanks,’ Gwen said as she handed her own menu back, the folder she’d been holding now open and taking up the available space the moment he left you. ‘I figured out who her lawyer is when we parked, I’d know that car anywhere, belongs to a scrappy kid who’s been known to hire people to help him get dirt on his opposition,’ she told you as she flipped to a page he needed to fill out while they had time, one final thing to prove that he had a suitable house and a steady income now that both things were true.

‘Should we be worried about him then?’ you asked as he signed, and she bit her thumbnail as she frowned at the table, the most emotion she’d shown over this case other than the realization that you were the assumed lover.

‘I’m not sure, you haven’t spent any more time together lately, have you?’ she hissed under her breath, and you pictured yourself going to his house but recalling that no one had been around thankfully.

‘No, not since he moved,’ you lied, and she nodded to herself as he finished up and slid the folder back over.

‘All she has is speculation, so focusing on proving that you deserve joint custody is all that matters today,’ she decided, and Lester breathed a little unsteadily before his breakfast arrived. He thanked your server and dug right in, his nerves making him eat faster than he should’ve as you’d come to expect, and you went to reach for his hand to make him aware that he should slow down when you felt Gwen nudge your foot. She did so instead, and he drank half his orange juice to wash it all down, the glass thankfully not kid-sized as he went back to eating. ‘It’ll be okay, let’s just focus on saving this marriage and getting your kids back right now.’

‘Oh, I don’t want to save this marriage,’ he suddenly said around a mouthful of overly jammed toast, and your head shot up so fast in hope that your already stiff neck ached in protest. ‘No, I thought I did at first, but she can have her divorce, I just want my kids back, that’s all that matters to me now.’

You ignored the nudge this time as you held his hand, proud of him for being able to let go of such a long relationship now that it’d turned to this, he was aware that what they had was gone and that it would be different if they tried to reconnect. You gave him a reassuring smile that it’d be okay going forward now, he didn’t have to try and mend what she’d broken, and he returned it before the actual kick to your leg made you let go. He went back to eating, his pace normal and not bound to make him sick now, and you knew you couldn’t let him hear what you needed to tell the woman beside you.

You got out your phone and quickly typed out a message to her, her phone pinging and making her grab it from her purse until she saw it was from you. She frowned but opened it all the same just to see that you’d said Rita talked to you, and you both knew you couldn’t ditch him to talk this time, not this close to the courthouse. She tapped back a quick reply which you answered just as fast, the two of you secretly typing under the table as he ate and watched the people go by, completely unaware of the reason why Gwen then sighed into her oatmeal.

She put away her phone, she wasn't too worried since his kids were his main priority, and quickly finished up her meager breakfast as a clock nearby chimed loudly. ‘We need to head over soon, it’s almost time,’ she reminded you both as you cleared your plates, and as soon as the bill was settled between the three of you you all headed out for the courthouse.

‘Oh wait, lemme fill the meter more, just in case,’ you said when you realized you didn’t know how long this would take since there was a lot to go over, and you let them go on ahead to Gwen’s preference as you fished for more coins to replace the time you’d spent inside.

‘Got some change to spare?’ someone asked as you found a quarter, and you frowned when you turned to see an unfamiliar face to this area approach you with an outstretched hand.

‘Yeah, uh, just let me do this first,’ you answered warily before filling the meter back up, a $5 bill added to your hand of remaining change so the man could get something to eat.

‘Thanks, you’re the first person all morning who’s given me the time of day,’ he told you almost sleazily as he counted the change, his eye on the seat you’d just vacated through the window as your server cleared your plates. ‘Heard this place is good, you just come from breakfast?’

‘Yeah, the coffee is cheap, so that should be good for a cup and something to eat,’ you replied, ready to walk away when he carefully sidestepped into your path.

‘That’s what I heard, yeah, anything you can suggest?’

‘I have somewhere I need to be, if you’ll excuse me,’ you tried to say without provoking him, everyone else giving you a wide berth as he stood in front of you again, and your eyes narrowed as you looked him over and realized he was dressed a little too well to be homeless.

‘Oh, of course, I was just wondering if you knew that guy you were with was a cheater, doesn’t make for a very good breakfast date.’

You froze as he grinned at you, your phone coming out to quickly text Gwen as he pocketed your change and crossed his arms. ‘I’m sorry, what did you say your name was?’ you asked as you typed, and he glanced at it before smiling for the camera in case you were taking a picture or video of him, he’d done this before.

‘You can call me Harley, you checking with that hot lawyer friend of yours to make sure I won’t be trouble?’ he asked as he tried to see your phone, and you held it to your chest seconds before her voice rang out. He heard her and spun to see her running back over, Lester waiting on the steps of the courthouse for you, and Harley grinned at you again before finally getting out of your way and heading down the street into a large crowd. He was gone instantly, Gwen out of breath as she arrived and made sure everything was okay.

‘I’m fine, but I think that might’ve been her lawyer,’ you figured as you turned back to see only strangers.

‘No, that wasn't him, but he might’ve been the guy he hired this time to follow Lester, have you seen him before?’

‘No, never, this was the first,’ you thought as you desperately searched your mind for any sign of him, but there was nothing, even though something about him felt so strangely familiar that you couldn’t place no matter how hard you tried.

‘C’mon, it’s starting in ten, we need to get in there,’ she said as she placed a hand on your back, and you crossed the street to where he was waiting nervously.

‘What happened?’ he asked as soon as you reached him, and you made sure to keep some space between you as you fixed yourself up a little.

‘Some creep asked me for change, nothing to worry about,’ you lied, and you let them go in first several minutes before you entered the building. You’d been in there many times before for your own cases, you knew the exact way to go as you headed for the main court where this would be held, and sure enough there was no one on his side while a few of their friends as well as Rita’s parents sat on her side with her, baby Annie currently sleeping in her grandmother’s lap. You tried to avoid the front row but you couldn’t, not when all of them stared you down in disgust, they all believed her claims since you were new, and you ignored them as you broke your first rule and sat directly behind him and Gwen as she prepared her opening statement.

In order to not glare very unprofessional daggers at the people who’d once claimed to be his friends, you instead finally got a look at her lawyer, and you outwardly groaned so loud that he heard it; he turned to find the source, his grin very wide and blue eyes very wild as he whispered something to Rita that you couldn’t hear. She didn’t turn, but she did smile as she looked over the papers in front of her, and you leaned forward with a quick and quiet whistle to get Gwen’s attention.

‘Why didn’t you tell me she hired Matt?’ you hissed between your teeth, and she looked at you in surprise.

‘You know him?’

‘Yeah, the prick’s been vying for a promotion for years and stole so many cases from me and many others to try and get it, the guy’s an asshole,’ you sneered a little too loud, and you heard him snicker from his table across the way.

‘All the more reason you stay as uninvolved as possible going forward, don’t bring work into this,’ she warned very seriously, and you nodded as you sat back against the unforgiving bench. It wasn't too long after when the judge walked in, and you, Gwen, and Matt all rose before everyone else on instinct. You liked this judge, she was around your age and very beautiful, but she had a temper like fire when unfairness was found, and you knew if Matt tried anything she’d be fast to shut it down. You smirked at him as everyone sat again, she’d see through all of this and clearly favour Lester after all, you had nothing to worry about as you sat back and relaxed for the first time in weeks.

‘Good morning, Judge Burkhardt,’ Gwen said as she stood again after a moment, the hearing officially started as she addressed the woman sitting above you all. ‘I’m here today on behalf of my client, Lester Billings, who wishes to contend his ex-wife’s claim of full custody.’

‘I was under the impression we’d also be discussing his previous concerns about the separation, as well,’ the Judge wondered as she went over her own notes, Gwen shaking her head and presenting her with a copy of everything she’d been collecting the past few weeks.

‘That’s no longer a concern, what he does care about is the very real possibility of losing the ability to see his children,’ she clarified as she went back to her seat, Rita whispering something to Matt before frowning at Lester.

‘I’ve got it, I’ll handle it,’ you heard him whisper back to her, and you felt your moment of relaxation start to fade at the tone of his voice.

‘If that’s what he wishes, please proceed.’

‘Thank you, now, before Ms. Rothschild can tell you her reasons for this, let me explain to you the situation from my client’s end, before bias and misunderstandings come into play; what brought this about was a horrible lack of trust between two people who’ve been together for a very long time, and who knew each other for even longer. Where there should’ve been love, jealousy arose. When there should’ve been understanding, stubbornness had taken its place. And when it was time to listen, to believe what my client was saying, there was only refusal, leading to an argument that could’ve been very much avoided.’ Gwen looked to Lester for this final part, and he covered his eyes with his hands as the guilt resurfaced once more.

You wanted so badly to go to him again but you couldn’t, the partition separating you from him feeling more like a sprawling chasm in order to stop the Judge from believing what Matt was bound to say next. So you remained seated, your hands clasped tightly in your lap as the Judge listened and read over everything Gwen had collected about that night.

‘Mistakes were made on both ends, but he doesn’t deserve to be punished with such severity, not when he loves his children this much. This is a man who can’t live without the love of his family, and if that’s taken away from him, then I fear that it’ll affect not only them as they grow up without their father, even if Ms. Rothschild does decide to remarry in the future, but also Mr. Billings as well. Thank you.’ She went back to her seat, Lester’s eyes sad but his smile thankful for what she was doing for him, and she stopped him from looking back at you as Matt loudly cleared his throat and took his turn.

‘What my client is here today to achieve is not just the separation of two people whose relationship has fallen by the wayside, but to terminate an agreement that was so blatantly broken. To allow someone who would disregard the feelings of others to that degree, and then proceed to take his anger out on her when called out on it, would be a serious risk to the children as the younger ones grow and develop.’ You grabbed onto the bench and dug your nails into the wood until it hurt as Matt strolled casually in front of the Judge while he spoke, his eyes occasionally drifting to you as he fought not to smile just because he knew you were the cause of it all.

‘I see here Mr. Billings became violent?’ the Judge confirmed, and Matt nodded in fake solemness as he went back to his table.

‘Punched a wall, their bedroom wall right next to her to be precise, so who’s to say he wasn't aiming for her and simply missed?’

‘I didn’t!’ Lester spoke up, the Judge giving him a warning look for speaking out of turn but ultimately not calling him out while also letting Matt continue.

‘In this picture my client has provided, you can see the actual indent where he made contact, note the sunken area from his knuckles, I know I wouldn’t want my kid to be anywhere near someone like that,’ he said a bit too casually as he shared the photo with her, only to receive his own visual warning for not taking this seriously. ‘Anyway, my point is that Mr. Billings is a liar, a cheat, and now, as of that night, prone to violent tendencies as well, which, if everyone may agree with me, is not a very suitable lifestyle when raising children.’

A chorus of agreements came from her side of the room, and you actually opened your mouth that time before shutting it tight and biting your lip. Matt collected his photo and went to sit back down, but not before shooting you a glance, and you were glad he worked on another floor than you because you were about to plan ahead and trash his office come Monday. He relished in your expression and sat back down again, the Judge going over the papers in front of her before looking forward again.

‘It says here that the main cause of separation was cheating, but according to his report he claims that to be the misunderstand that’s been mentioned; I know it doesn’t matter in the end since this seems to be mutual at this stage, but I feel like it would be better going forward to have this addressed so as to not give the children a skewed opinion of their father, if you don’t mind,’ the Judge said with a frown as she looked between both parties, and you quietly let out a calm breath while you mentally prepared yourself for what was to come.

‘It’s fine by us, Ms. Rothschild was looking forward to this getting cleared up,’ Matt loudly proclaimed so there’d be no chance you didn’t hear it, Gwen not as loudly agreeing as the Judge nodded and motioned for them to proceed. ‘Ms. Rothschild, if you would kindly take the stand so everyone can hear your side of things.’

‘This isn’t a trial, she can stay where she is,’ the Judge was quick to correct, but Matt’s smile was still wide as he looked back at his audience.

‘Yes, but we’ve also brought in some… ex-mutual friends of theirs who’d like to back up her claims, if you don’t mind,’ he informed her, and she considered it before deciding it might help to get their outsiders opinions even though you knew they were bound to side entirely with her until the truth became skewed even more, this wasn't fair. ‘Thank you, Your Honour; Rita, if you’d please?’

She stood and walked over to the stand, the bailiff overseeing everything shrugging before bringing over the court’s bible and having her say her oath of truth before returning to his spot. ‘Well, I’d say it started a few months back, when he returned from getting groceries. We decided that that would be his thing since I’d be at home watching Annie after preschool, and it was just easier for him to do it on his way home,’ she began, your eyes switching between her and Lester as he listened intently. ‘It was subtle at first, he’d get home a little later, something new would be in his cart that I hadn’t asked for, but it wasn't until he started talking about them that I knew something was wrong.’

You saw him open his mouth to object but Gwen silenced him, this was her time to talk, he would get his soon enough.

‘It was so little I barely noticed, just some dinner conversation as everyone talked about their day, but when they kept getting brought up, not just on Thursday but throughout the week, and then when my daughter asked for some friends to sleep over now that summer had started, he ended up turning it into this big party. We’ve thrown them before, we’re very social people, but there was something about this one that felt off, like it was just an excuse to get as many people there as possible.’

She paused, looking troubled as she thought back to it, and you hadn’t known that the party you’d been invited to was actually just supposed to be for her, that explained why so many of them had stayed when they went in for the night.

‘But I knew something was wrong when he brought home that cheesecake, neither of us even like Caramel Pecan, and I tried to excuse it like maybe he’d gotten it for the girls, or maybe he was trying something new, but the moment I saw him give them a piece I knew it. I knew that there was something going on behind my back.’

The Judge frowned but didn’t say anything, murmurs drifting over from your right, and you looked at Lester as he and Gwen said something so quiet you couldn’t hear a single word even from that close. ‘A gift for the secret lover, was it?’ Matt asked like he didn’t already know the answer, and Rita nodded as she shot you a cold look.

‘And it wasn't just that, he also had them sit next to him while we watched movies, and I watched as he grabbed them around the waist and threw them into the pool so they could flirt not just in front of me but in front of all our friends, like he was flaunting the fact that he’d found someone else at me,’ she continued angrily, her voice rising as she turned her attention to him, and he tried again to speak only to be silenced. ‘He kept inviting them to our house after that, kept throwing parties of various sizes and always inviting them even though they barely knew each other, and they didn’t come often but whenever they did his eyes were always on them, I saw him do it.’

Your mouth fell open as you let out a soft gasp, and Lester stared straight ahead at her, completely ignoring you as you tried to think of him watching you while you were around, but you’d always tried so hard to keep it platonic, to not overstep any boundaries and stay out of that part of his life, had he really been looking at you the entire time?

‘That was when you decided to ask him about it, right before your vacation, correct?’ Matt asked like this was the best drama he’d ever gotten to witness because she was talking about you, someone he personally knew and contended against.

‘Correct, I didn’t want to go anywhere with him if he’d be thinking about someone else, and I certainly didn’t want to risk him inviting them along on our family vacation.’

‘Was there ever an actual concern about that?’ the Judge interrupted, and Rita shrugged before nodding.

‘Yes, at one point he asked if maybe we should let the kids bring one friend each so they could have more fun, teased about asking the Himuras since Deni is friends with their daughters, but it was the way he said it, like he wanted to ask someone but not them, that this was just another excuse, and that’s when I asked him to be honest with me about the cheating.’ Lester was shaking his head as she spoke, but whether it was because she was wrong or if he regretted what he said because it was true made you unsure of everything you believed before you walked through those doors.

‘And we know how that turned out; he denied your claims, refused to name the lover himself, and when you refused to say it he became violent-’

‘Objection, Mr. Billings told me explicitly that he never answered her questions in her favour because he wasn't aware of what she was even talking about, because this is all just assumptions and slander,’ Gwen interrupted heatedly, she also knew what he’d said and this was making her lose control of her emotions in your stead.

‘He didn’t answer because he’d been caught and didn’t want to admit it and you know it,’ Matt said dismissively with a sneer, the Judge banging her gavel just once to quiet him when she remembered there was a sleeping baby present.

‘Sustained until proven otherwise, leave the judgment up to me, if you’ll please,’ she warned him, and he sat back and crossed his arms as Rita was encouraged to finish.

‘He did become angry when I wouldn’t tell him what he already knew, and when he hit the wall I felt unsafe for the first time around him,’ she concluded seriously, her parents glaring at him as Annie kept sleeping in blissful ignorance of the situation. ‘That was when I asked for custody, and kicked him out of our room. After that he began to stay elsewhere, I never looked him up.’

Matt chuckled to himself but didn’t say anything, and when you felt your skin crawl you noticed that he was staring at you again. ‘Thank you, and if it would please you, Your Honour, I would like to call some friends of theirs to the stand, to share what they saw as well and to prove that this isn’t just a bad take formed out of jealousy.’

‘I’ll allow it.’

You watched as the couple from movie night entered together, their own oaths spoken before they agreed that he’d been oddly close to you during the party, how he favoured you during movie night by making you extra dip even though he never once did that for any of them, and some of them he’d known since highschool. They hadn’t wanted to believe it, but something changed in him since you’d appeared in his life, a change you’d never noticed because you only saw this new him, apparently. You could almost cry, the way they were saying it could almost make you believe he’d fallen in love with you, to the point where you were genuinely unsure if Matt had coached them to say all this for Rita’s sake or if this was the truth.

‘Sounds pretty cut and dry to me, no further questions,’ Matt said as they sat down, and the Judge looked equally as convinced as she turned her attention back to Lester.

‘Indeed, but we still need to hear from Mr. Billings,’ she reminded everyone, and he was about to stand when Matt held up a hand to interrupt.

‘Actually, I’d also like to call a colleague of mine to the stand before we get to him,’ he told everyone, and you saw Gwen twitch just a little just as you yourself did.

‘Is this colleague here?’ the Judge asked, and he nodded before whistling; the man from the street, Harley, then appeared from somewhere behind you, he’d been hiding out of sight and was holding a coffee and a manilla envelope as he walked up to Matt and handed it over. He opened it up, peeked inside, and grinned so excitedly that it almost made you sick as he then turned to you and motioned for you to come forward.

You stood and did as he asked, it was finally your turn, and Lester watched you go along with everyone else as you sat in the worn seat and tried to keep your breathing level. ‘Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?’ the bailiff asked you as your hand shook over the cover, and you looked to Lester before steeling your gaze in Matt’s direction, his expression telling you that he thought this would be not only his win but your loss, that maybe this would finally be enough to up his credit enough to join the big leagues, this imaginary promotion that’ll finally tell him he was a success.

‘I do,’ you replied honestly, and he shook his head in amused pity before removing the papers along with a phone from the envelope to lay out on the table. He stood again, he couldn’t remain seated with this, and he cracked his neck for show before jumping right into it.

‘Thursday, May 9th, that’s when you first met him, wasn't it?’ he asked smugly as he checked over his notes, the Judge the last to know that it was all leading up to this as she sat up a little straighter.

‘Yes, that was the day I first spoke to Le- Mr. Billings at Walkers,’ you confirmed professionally, determined to not make this any worse than it could be, you could do this.

‘But it wasn't until a few weeks later that you were invited to his home, correct?’

‘That’s right, you know a bunch of us were collaborating on the Krill case around that time, I wasn't able to get much shopping done with the late hours,’ you replied, and he hummed and flipped the page.

‘I remember, you guys stole that one from me,’ he muttered because he couldn’t help but let it out, and you tried not to smirk amidst your attempts to keep everything calm and collected. ‘So that means you only met twice before you became friends?’

‘I guess- I mean, yes, technically, but that second time we spent around 40 to 45 minutes getting to know each other, the first time he had to run home shortly after I met him.’

‘And you were unaware that he’d been bringing you up around his family and friends the whole time you were kept away by work?’

Your eye twitched as you glanced at the man in question, and you found a lovely section of wall to stare out down the aisle instead. ‘I was not, no.’

‘And you still accepted his invitation, despite meeting once pretty much?’ He was baiting you, and you very much knew it as you acquainted yourself with the wall in the distance.

‘He seemed pleasant enough, and I don’t meet many people outside of work, I thought it might be fun to give it a try,’ you rationalized in front of everyone, the other reason that you simply liked him and wanted to see him again obviously left out.

‘And the cheesecake…?’

‘We’d stopped by the dessert counter and they only sold it in full cakes, not slices, he bought it as incentive for me to join so I could have some, a friendly encouragement for me to accept,’ you explained, and Rita scoffed as the Judge raised her eyebrow at Lester. ‘At least, that’s what I assumed, he never said it in words.’ It was a lie, an actual lie, and you watched his expression change as he became unsure if he’d said that to you or not.

‘Which you did accept, in the end, did you not? Directly from him according to Rita,’ Matt confirmed, and you nodded as you recalled that night.

‘He was handing it out to not just me, but a few others as well, I wasn't a special case,’ you clarified as you remembered him grabbing several slices from both cheesecakes to hand out to those still sitting and getting ready for the movie. ‘And before you mention the pool, yes, he did throw me in, but by pushing me, not by grabbing me around the waist, I don’t know where she got that from. He pushed me, jumped in, and then others did as well, it was a pool party after all and now that all the kids were inside or asleep it was the adults’ turn to swim.’

Matt frowned as he went back to his notes, another page flipped to as your shoulders relaxed just a little again. ‘And the movie gathering, with the dip?’

‘I arrived late so I’d missed out on it, he made more so I could enjoy some as well, and when I got my portion it was shared with everyone else, if I’d arrived on time he more than likely would’ve kept watching the movie.’ You felt satisfied when you saw the couple nod like they’d forgotten that point, you were winning them over, and they looked at you a little less dirtily as you fought the urge not to smile. ‘He only kept inviting me to things because we only had time to socialize while we grocery shopped, which isn’t very good for a new friendship, this was his way of keeping us familiar and not just shopping strangers since he knew my weekdays were full, I’m sure you’d be more familiar with that if you had more clients.’

A faint snicker filled the room at your comment, Matt’s face going red before he got serious; he flipped ahead so fast he nearly tore the pages, and when he found what he was looking for he looked like he was the cat and you were the canary. ‘Keep it up while you can,’ he whispered before smiling at the Judge, Rita looking worried until she saw his expression. ‘Thursday, July 18th, almost an entire month after the divorce was called, you went back to his home to find him, did you not?’

The smile you didn’t realize you were wearing then started to fall, and you concentrated on your patch of wall again as you nodded. ‘I did, yes. I hadn’t seen him in two weeks and I was worried.’

‘Oh, just two? Wouldn’t he have been missing for a month?’ he quickly asked, looking like he’d caught you, and you nibbled your lip a moment in frustration.

‘I’d assumed he was on vacation, he’d told me about it and since I knew the kids were on holiday I just figured he was in California,’ you clarified even quicker, but he didn’t look convinced as he flipped to the next page.

‘Uh huh, according to Rita it says here that you asked for him specifically while in a panic, and when she informed you of his move you began banging on the door and asking about their children, you sound pretty invested for just a weekend friend,’ he pointed out as he turned on his heel to face everyone, and when you looked at Lester he looked just as surprised to hear this news as you were to hear about him watching you.

‘It’d been two weeks and something felt wrong, I needed to make sure everything was okay,’ you told him, your eyes no longer finding the wall as he spun to face you, his low ponytail creating a flash of gold across his crisp black blazer. ‘And she hadn’t told me about the move until after she assaulted me via a slap to the face, as well as insinuated that I’d come there to steal him away. I would never, that had never been my intention.’

‘At first.’ Matt skipped almost giddily over to you before handing the Judge a bunch of papers and slamming one on the stand in front of you, and you frowned in confusion as you saw yourself in the photo; it was the night you’d met up with him again, the two of you hugging in his car, and you desperately tried to find the words as the Judge frowned disapprovingly. ‘You met up with him again at Walkers a week later, where you proceeded to not only pay for his groceries according to my sources, but also invite him back to your home to stay while he searched for a new residence, instead of his current hotel room, where does all that fit in with your intentions?’

He was positively smug as the Judge motioned for Gwen to approach as well, everyone else whispering to each other until Annie started to stir and forced them to be silent. ‘Did you know about this?’ she asked while Lester sat there uneasily, and Gwen reluctantly nodded while Matt failed to suppress another chuckle.

‘If they may explain, it was a rooming of convince, nothing more,’ Gwen said on your behalf, and the Judge looked to you before letting her go again so you could finish.

‘I was simply extending some kindness to someone who’d gotten me out of the house more times than anything else in those couple months; I saw a friend in need, so I offered him my couch until he could find his own place, I’d figured it would’ve been too hard to place a downpayment on anything when all of his funds were tied up into that room, that’s all.’ You were starting to speak firmly, and he knew he was getting to you as he scrunched up his face in humorous disbelief.

‘Did you, though? Because from what I heard, he was actually sleeping in your bed the entire two weeks he was with you,’ he told everyone, and the only reason you didn’t get angry was because you were starting to get very confused.

‘Where did you hear that?’ you demanded to know, but he wasn't done talking.

‘Along with that, apparently you were also there when he signed the deed to his house, as well as went shopping for a new bed, where the two of you not only came but also left together to head to said house as soon as it was in working order,’ he listed loudly just so no one would miss it, a photo to prove each point landing in front of you as cruel reminders, and you made a grab for the notebook on pure instinct as he laughed and jumped back, holding it out of your reach.

‘Would you two please control yourselves? Is everything he said true? Remember that you’re under oath,’ the Judge asked you very seriously, and you looked around in a growing panic before your eyes landed on Harley; all at once you recognized him, he’d been one of the workers who’d helped you load up his car that day, your focus purely on the frame to the point where he’d been practically invisible to you at the time.

‘Yeah, yeah it’s true,’ you admitted, and Rita looked furious in her belief that she was being proven right. ‘He slept in my bed because the couch hurt his back too much, so I took it instead in the meantime, and we went shopping together because he’s incredibly indecisive and needed a second opinion. I helped him with his house because it was disgustingly dirty from being empty for so long, and it would’ve taken him ages to clean it up alone despite the size.

‘Every single thing you’ve said has just reaffirmed that I’ve been helping my friend where everyone else had left him high and dry, there’s absolutely nothing you can take away from that and the fact that I have never once made any sort of move on him, not in my own home and certainly not in either of his. Lester is my friend, I’m here today to support him while he tries to get his kids back in his life, and I don’t see how any of this is going to reach that if we keep messing around on this false accusation!’ You quickly lowered your voice when Annie stirred again, a few hushes and leg bounces lulling her back to sleep as she held her grandmother tight, but Matt didn’t look dissuaded by your speech, in fact, he looked like he’d finally gotten you as he held up the final photo but didn’t show you.

‘Could you please read out your last conversation with Mr. Billings to the court, please?’ he asked calmly, and your anger turned to panic as Gwen silently asked what he meant to Lester out of the corner of your eye.

‘What?’

‘Could you please read-’

‘I know what you said, but why?’ you asked uneasily, and he sighed before turning to the Judge.

‘Please follow the request,’ she ordered, and you sucked in an unsteady breath as you unlocked your phone and went to his chat.

‘You know he brought me screenshots, don’t make me use them instead,’ Matt muttered under his breath, and you didn’t even have to ask to know that it was because you’d left you car unlocked, giving your tail the perfect opportunity to take pictures of your messages after seeing Lester send them only for you to arrive shortly after the night before.

‘I can’t,’ you told him as you stared at the words, it would all be taken the wrong way, and he took your phone from you without a fight before handing it to the Judge.

‘“I miss you,”’ she read aloud, and Gwen put her head in her hand as Lester stood, the Judge reading the rest while Rita’s side of the room started whispering again. ‘“I can’t sleep, can you come over?” These speak for themselves, what do you have to say about them?’

You couldn’t get a single word out as your phone was handed back to you, but you needed to try before everything you’d just said was thrown out the window. ‘He was stressed, he couldn’t sleep, nothing happened,’ you explained weakly, Matt already on top of it as he held his page a little tighter.

‘The second the door opened you were in his arms,’ he let everyone know, and you shook your head when that wasn't the photo he wanted to share.

‘We’d had a fight before he left, a misunderstanding, he just missed me,’ you tried to say, and that’s when he struck, the image of the two of you lying in bed together fully selling the lie. ‘These were taken without our consent,’ you mumbled, but it was too late, Harley had been there, he’d seen everything from the start, this was just the icing on the cake of the lie to everyone.

‘Caught in bed, that doesn’t look very platonic to me, see he’s even got his arm around your waist for real this time.’ Matt was on Cloud 9 as he spoke, the Judge agreeing and completely convinced that there was something going on after all.

‘He couldn’t sleep,’ you repeated softly, and as if to add insult to injury, he finally brought out the phone from the envelope over from the table.

‘Last chance to tell the truth,’ he offered, and something in you snapped as your entire body went stiff.

‘Oh fuck off Matt,’ you snarled, a slap to the desk your warning since the gavel was too loud, and he gave you another fake sigh before pulling up the phone’s gallery. He turned up the volume and turned the screen to the Judge, and it was dark and a little shaky but the sound still filled the large and empty room with ease.

‘I love you.’

Lester’s voice from last night bounced off every corner until it was impossible to ignore, and Matt played the clip again just to be sure.

‘I love you.’

‘So much for platonic,’ he figured as he played it again for good measure, and the Judge took the phone to make sure that yes, that was the two of you in the video as well as his voice through the speaker behind the cicadas and crickets that conveniently blocked out the next part where he called you his friend. ‘And are those tears when you roll over at the end? Guess the guilt of destroying a family can do that to you, yikes… Your Honour, if you could now swipe to the right you’ll find them the next morning as well,’ he told her, and you just barely saw footage of you two hugging in the doorway, the camera perfectly catching his kiss to your forehead before you wrapped your arms around him; it cut off just in time to make your hug look like a real kiss despite your face never leaving his chest in reality, and your frustration and helplessness at what you’d done to him bubbled up and overflowed until you felt a hot streak fall down your cheek.

‘I knew it, how dare you stand up there and lie to everyone, you ruined my marriage!’ Rita yelled as you gripped the wood until your hands hurt, her outburst finally enough to wake up Annie as she started crying along with you. She was inconsolable, her grandparents unable to calm her as Rita rubbed her eyes, her own anger at this whole situation going in circles until she was ultimately proven right also overflowing as she banged her hand off the table. ‘Can you please just take her outside, mom?’

‘Please, let me,’ Lester suddenly said, his first words in what felt like ages, and he didn’t wait for permission as he crossed over to the other side of the courtroom to reach for his baby girl. ‘Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here,’ he whispered softly as he took her from her grandmother’s arms, and she blinked through her tears as she reached up to touch his face, ‘it’s just me, it’s your daddy, it’s me.’ Her crying calmed as she recognized him in her childish sorrow, her small voice confirming that it was indeed her father before she curled against him and held on tight.

The room went silent as he kept hushing her, his arm bouncing slightly until her crying ceased completely, and when she started to fall back asleep again he couldn’t stop his own tears from falling as he kissed her head and breathed in deep. ‘Alright, she’s going home, just gi-’

‘Let me hold her, please,’ he begged immediately, cutting Rita off and holding his daughter away when she reached out to take her. ‘It’s been two months, just please let me hold my daughter for a little while longer…’ Rita backed down, Matt scoffing at the wasted time as Lester gave Annie another kiss, and even though it physically pained him to let go he eventually did; her grandmother took her back before they both left, Lester not fully breaking until the doors had closed and there was no risk of waking her, an awkward but also sad air filling the room as his friends finally saw what they’d done to him.

‘Can we get back to this, if you don’t mind?’ Matt asked from the floor, but Lester was done, he’d just had to give away his little girl after watching his only friend be torn apart in front of him, and he was done.

‘No, because I do mind,’ he told him as he turned, his cheeks wet but his eyes deathly serious as he approached the stand. ‘I’m sick of everyone trying to tell me what I did, what happened when I was there, and I won’t let this go any further. I asked them to come over, and we did lay in bed together, but only because I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that I can’t do this alone, not because I cheated on you, Rita. No matter how you interpreted my actions, I know what my intentions were, and they were never to be disloyal to you.

‘I’ve loved you ever since we were teenagers, and I was ready to spend the rest of my life with you, but I can see now that we married too soon, and that no matter how much I love you and my children, it will never be enough to fix what you’ve broken. I know I scared you, I was afraid myself, that night, and I don’t care if you can never forgive me for it, but don’t punish me for something I didn’t do by convincing yourself that I’m a monster.’ He stopped to take a breath, everyone silent as Matt leaned against his table and waited impatiently for this to end, and you couldn’t stay there any longer until he turned to speak to you and instantly froze you. ‘You’ve been nothing but good to me since we met, and I’m so sorry I dragged you into all of this.’

‘I’m the one who ruined your marriage,’ you murmured miserably, and he shook his head before turning back to Rita.

‘No, you ruined our marriage the moment you stopped trusting me and broke our vows,’ he told her, and for the first time she looked almost regretful of her actions. ‘You can have the divorce, spending these past two months without you has taught me that maybe this has been a long time coming, and I didn’t lie, I never cheated on you and never intended to, but… these two months have also told me that I don’t have to walk out of here with nothing even if they rule in your favour.’ He glanced back to you for just a moment, and you swore he might actually be in love before he focused on the Judge. ‘I know all of what you just heard and saw was taken horribly out of context, and… and maybe my intentions have changed over time, but I’m not a liar, and I would never harm my children, you have to believe that, Your Honour.’

‘Oh, I believe it,’ she agreed after watching him calm his crying baby with ease before baring his soul to everyone. ‘We might’ve gotten off track there for a while, I apologize for letting that go on for as long as I did, but it’s very clear to me that despite the multiple errors in judgment on pretty much everyone in this room’s part, it wouldn’t be a fair ruling to let you walk out of here without custody.’ She smacked the gavel now that Annie was away, and Lester’s legs nearly failed him as he smiled in pure relief. ‘Temporary full custody will remain with Ms. Rothschild while you finish your new residence, and when the house is furnished and ready to house the children, we’ll meet up again to go over things and discuss how often they’ll stay with the both of you.’

‘Thank you, thank you so much,’ Lester sobbed joyfully before he crashed into the partition gate, and you and Gwen rushed to him to help him remain standing long enough to get to a seat. Matt swore to himself as Rita kept her distance, their friends deciding to make amends as they walked over to him and apologized, they’d spread the word that Rita had been wrong, and he couldn’t seem to stop crying as he smiled until his cheeks surely hurt just as much as yours did.

Another month went by as summer finally gave way to fall, and Halloween decorations started to fill the streets as you drove through the neighbourhood. Four pumpkins were strapped into your seats and made the car smell nice as you drove, the familiar way to Lester’s home engraved in your mind until you were pulling into the driveway behind him. You left the car unlocked as you ran up to the door to knock, and it was clear he’d seen you through the kitchen window as the door swung open to reveal him standing there in the most dad-themed apron you’d ever seen; it was of another man with a very chiseled stomach, something of which you assumed he didn’t have based on the few glimpses you’d gotten when he’d stayed with you, and you raised an eyebrow at him as he went in for a hug.

‘It’s incentive to keep to my new diet, since you helped the last one fail so many times,’ he joked before pulling you to his chest, and you kept it to yourself that you didn’t mind how he looked as you hugged him back.

‘You’re a grown man, you could’ve always said no,’ you reminded him as you headed back for the car, Lester following after setting down the dish towel he was still holding. You grabbed a pumpkin each and brought them to the dining room, or the small section of room he considered a dining room since technically his kitchen and living room were openly connected.

‘Shaun’s gunna love this one, I can already tell- where’s the fifth?’ he asked when you shut the door, and you looked around for it too in confusion.

‘Fifth?’

‘You’re spending Halloween with us, right? You’re not gunna make me hand out candy with just Annie, are you?’ he asked disappointedly, and you fought the oncoming blush as you looked at the four pumpkins on the table, the last one being baby-sized just for Annie to scribble on instead of carve. ‘There’s a new Stephen King movie coming out that Deni was really excited to share with us, please tell me you aren’t gunna skip out on that one?’

‘I just assumed you’d wanna spend time with your family, since Rita did agree to the whole week just for this,’ you muttered nervously, and the hand he placed on your arm was warm and comforting as he gave you another almost loving look.

‘I think we can consider you a part of the family, especially after everything you did for us,’ he told you honestly, but you still weren’t entirely convinced you could join this part of his life now that you knew you might have a chance at a more permanent friendship with him. ‘Here, I ordered a bunch of food for tonight from that pizza place we used to visit a bunch while I was staying with you, if you go grab it I’ll pay for your pumpkin if you can find one in the next… 27 minutes,’ he offered, and you realized his hand was still on you as it then moved to your hand to hold your palm up to accept his wallet.

‘It takes 13 to get to the pumpkin patch,’ you told him, and he just shrugged before letting you go.

‘Better hurry then, don’t wanna be left out when we’re all sitting here carving pumpkins and eating pizza,’ he tempted you, and when you looked down at the table and imagined it you realized you wanted nothing more than to be a part of that. ‘And, since Rita doesn’t get here til 7, I think it might be nice to just spend some time alone with you, just the two of us, like before… I don’t get to see you as often now that your Thursdays are all booked up,’ he admitted shyly, and your heart pounded when he rubbed at his neck and you finally noticed that he’d taken his wedding ring off now that the divorce was officially and mutually underway.

‘You could come with me, we could maybe check out the Halloween displays at Walkers for a little extra decoration ideas, your house is honestly lacking compared to your neighbours,’ you suggested calmly, and his smile was back to normal as he stripped off his apron and tossed it over the arm of your second couch that so perfectly fit against the living room wall across from his TV, the photo of his kids so far the only other decoration on the stand.

‘I think I could go for some Caramel Pecan cheesecake, if I’m honest, you made me like it a bit more than the Chocolate Fudge Supreme,’ he whispered scandalously as you both headed out the door, and this time you did lean into him a little when his hand found the small of your back on the way to the car.

#Ray's Headcanons #Ray's Requests #david dastmalchian #Lester Billings #Lester Billings x reader #I had SO much fun writing Matty's scene it's like a little treat me for each time since I only work on LtF a few days a week now

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evansbby · 1 year

Text

*POYT 5 UPDATE* + some general chit chat lol

lmfao at the way I thought I could contain this beast of a fic under 30k words. I’m at 29k words rn and still have 1.5 scenes left to write plus the epilogue… so it’s safe to say it’ll be longer than 30k words.

Also if anything has made me doubt my writing, it’s this fic. I just… I want it to live up to expectations so bad that I keep going back and editing it. And that’s made me hate parts of it and I panic bc I don’t want to change it but then I do but then I don’t and I just… UGH! I just want to be 1000% happy with it but I feel like that’s impossible at this point.

One thing I hate about my writing is the way I just go on and on and there’s so much unnecessary preamble, so I always go back and try and edit all that out. Like delete all the random extra wording I use and just try and get to the point faster. But then even that’s hard bc every single thing I’ve written in poyt 5 is just so relevant to the story!

Now I have so many doubts bc maybe I should’ve split it into two parts, maybe I should’ve changed the plot and done it different and I just… IT’S TOO LATE TO CHANGE IT and honestly I’m happy with my original plot but I’m also scared of how it’ll be perceived. Bc I remember a few people were critical of the Bucky spin-off and like… with how much effort I’ve put into this 30+k fic, I think I’d actually cryyyy if people perceived it badly.

BUT THEN the rational part of my head is reassuring me that it’ll be fine… that I’ve genuinely worked so hard on it that it can’t actually be as bad as I sometimes think it is. Bc I’ll read it and not think it’s “epic” enough to be a fitting conclusion but like… this isn’t GOT we’re talking about it’s just POYT 🥲😂 and POYT isn’t meant to be epic, it’s meant to be heartwrenching and sad and emotional… which I think it is!!

Ultimately, I’ve stayed true to my original idea. Of course I’ve made minor changes along the way (plus one huge major change to the ending that I had originally envisioned but we’ll discuss that once the chapter is out heheh). BUT YEAH, this is all just mindless mind chatter and insecurities and I’m just writing it all down bc it’s better to get your feelings out isn’t it…

I guess my worst fear is people saying that the fic was draggy, that it got too tedious and long for them, that it got boring halfway through, that it wasn’t what they thought it was going to be, that I let them down, that i bit off more than I could chew and now I haven’t given them a satisfactory conclusion. And I honestly don’t know how I’d defend myself to all this criticism if I got it bc I genuinely tried my best.

But let’s also remember that I started writing this fic back in January. And other writers know that when we reread our work we always want to change it or tweak it or in hindsight we know we could’ve written it better. And I HAVE tweaked it since then and rewritten and edited and all that… but I’ve kept the plot bc I have faith in it… this is the story I want to tell.

And I realise that writing all this is kind of insane and I know people are side eying me and rolling their eyes but guys I’m just putting my emotions down and I’m genuinely scared. I’ve always said that whenever I post a new chapter of poyt, it’s insane the way my heart beats and my palms get sweaty like I SWEAR to you I have a whole ass panic attack each time I post but it’s always vindicated by the amazing feedback so it’s a win win

HONESLTG reading over this word vomit I feel like I sound insane but genuinely I’m just trying to get my thoughts down. I guess I’m just super insecure about this last chapter but honestly, anyone in my position would be?? Right??? I just hope you guys love it. And the characters are believable and you think the writing is good

Okay I’ll stop now byeee

#my thoughts 💭

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kodienne06 · 3 months

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I love the design of Dante but I’m confused why he is wearing Due(an other version of himself) outfit and/or device on his head? Are Due and Dante fuse together? Is Dante trying to pretend he someone else?

omg yes!! thank you for asking!

Okay so, originally, I just really enjoyed the idea of throwing Dante’s chaotic personality into this version of the rescue squad (Plus, I mean, we needed at least two of the og rescue squad members, come on).

My interpretation of PJ is a tad cynical and wouldn’t trust so freely, but Palette would take him in, no questions asked. You see where I’m going with this? It was like throwing a wrench upon a house of cards! I needed it.

Then I was like, okay he’s cool, but how can I work him into the plot? What role can he play here?

Maybe, what if Dante had Due’s backstory?

What if DANTE had Due’s overwhelming power?

He would be furious, spiteful, a walking hazard. Unstable and dangerous. Wanting nothing but to hurt those around him. And more power.

Huh, that sounds familiar…

It’s almost like… there’s four characters already like that? Hmmmm (ﾟωﾟ)

Anyways! His whole arc is really about becoming Due. Working past that rage, finding that hurting others brings no justice, and ending up with nothing but despair.

I really don’t like messing with the kids’ backstories and personalities because I think they’re perfect as is, especially Dante and Due! But it was kind of a necessity if he was going to be in the story.

I hope that answers your questions!!

also, teeny tiny tidbit because I’m crazy; my version of Dante is decently inspired by Red Son’s personality (from lego monkie kid lol), but with the off putting vibes of Vincent (SH3)

sooo basically just 2018 Donnie???

But creepy and very angry

heheh I really need to come up with a title so I can make a tag for all this shittt (ㆀ˘･з･˘)

Edit:

I felt this was an appropriate addition ٩( ᐛ )و

#utmv #utmv au #fanfic #dante moth #due moth

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misspearly1 · 1 year

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When Two Worlds Collide Series

Chp1 || Chp2 || Chp3 || Chp4 || Chp5 || Chp6 || Chp7 || Chp8

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader x Arthur Morgan

Chapter Five: Our Gal

WC: 7.8k

Warnings: 18+ Content. Minors DNI. Friends to Lovers. Alternative TLOU & RDR2 Universe. Growing M/F/M Relationship and hints of M/M attraction. Smut. Mentions of Sex. Oral Sex (fem receiving). Fingering. Little bit of angst in this one, but it has a fluffy ending.

AN: We're nearly there, my loves! I've been trying really hard to keep this whole story short, but I'm finding it difficult to keep it simple. We need a little more plot before reaching the ending. I can't help it, I love this concept and want to explore every possibly aspect. I will most definitely be writing some singular one-shots for this storyline in the future. I ain't done with this yet hehehe! I hope you enjoy.

It’s been two days cooped up inside this homestead, and it’s been so pleasant living domestically with two men who are head over heels with you that it feels normal. It feels as though you belong here and this is the way things were meant to be… Like you were made for each other.

Unfortunately, it’s a true saying that ‘all good things must come to an end’ and you’ve been trying to ignore that this good thing you got going between you, Joel and Arthur will eventually come to pass. You’ve been trying to avoid the inevitable because at some point, you will be going home and even though you’re desperate to get back to where you really belong, you don’t like to think about the reality of what that means for the cowboy you’ve grown close with over the last few weeks.

Arthur will be staying here, and it’s a farewell that you don’t wish to go through.

You don’t want to say goodbye, and neither does Joel for that matter. They’ve grown close too, especially after you all got intimate the other night. It’s been nothing but a pleasure in the last couple of days. The men satisfied you like you’ve never been satisfied before, and they never left you wanting or needy for more either. You’ve been showered in sweet kisses, blanketed by their warm embrace and completely engulfed in their love and attraction.

Last night however, was a little different. You didn’t roll around the sheets making love to one another until the early hours of the morning like you did the night before. Instead, you initiated a conversation about avoiding that farewell you dread so much.

You spoke to Joel first about it, to which he revealed that he had the same wishes as yourself, and together, you both asked Arthur if he would like to join you when going back home. Neither of you wanted to leave him behind, but neither of you wanted to stay here forever either. This world is different and beautiful, but it’s not where you belong. Austin, Texas is where you belong. It’s where your lives and your families await.

As expected, Arthur kindly denied your thoughtful offer and explained that he belongs here with his family. You already knew he would say that, but you wanted to ask nonetheless and hoped there was a slim chance that he’d say yes, or he would think about it at the very least.

Needless to say, it was a disappointing, yet understandable answer. You know the man can’t leave his gang behind. He’s so loyal to those he loves and it would be absurd to think he’d abandon them to venture into a new world with you and Joel. So rather than spending the night making love, you spent the night cuddling under the covers, holding each other near and dear like you’d be saying goodbye any day now.

That stranger future guy — Francis Sinclair — hasn’t replied to Arthur’s letter yet, but you have a very strong feeling in your gut that he’ll reach out soon. It’s as if you’ve just found something good here, and just like that common saying, all good things must come to an end. Nothing great lasts forever and you fell asleep last night, wrapped up in the greatness of Joel and Arthur’s presence, savouring every special moment you have with them together.

Now, as the birds tweet their morning song and the sun peeks through the windows, Arthur is the one who awoke first, and he awoke with a soft grunt of your name slipping past his lips. You were still fast asleep and he could feel your warmth pressing against his chest as you breathe rhythmically. It was so subtle and sweet the way you lightly snored, the sound barely audible.

He opened his eyes and looked for you, but found Joel’s face peacefully resting against the pillow in front of him instead. You were buried beneath the blankets with your head and your body comfortably squished between him and Joel. He could feel how hot you were, although you didn’t seem to care and basked in the sensation of two men crowding you completely.

While a part of Arthur wishes he could switch places with Joel so he could see your pretty face, another part of him didn’t mind waking up to see the sight of a man laying opposite him. It was rather surprising how much he liked it. He’s never laid in bed with a man like this before, but he wouldn’t oppose doing it again. Joel looked so calm and well rested, the difference in the dark circles under his eyes were most noticeable. They seemingly disappeared overnight and now he sleeps comfortably, as if he, too, didn’t mind laying in bed with another man like this.

In spite of the fact they weren’t really touching each other intimately since you lay between them, it didn’t take away how deeply romantic they’ve been with each other because of you. Arthur smiles with the remembrance of gripping Joel’s bicep for leverage to piston his hips into you from behind. He feels his cheeks burn with arousal when remembering how Joel spoke to him and praised his actions when fucking you till exhaustion. He closes his eyes briefly and shudders when thinking about how sexy and passionate both of you sounded when climaxing. The sound of your whimpers, so breathy and high pitched, mixed and paired well with Joel’s low guttural groans of pleasure.

Arthur loved it; loved everything about you and Joel together. The thought of letting another man join in the sexual act of making love to a woman never occurred to him before until these last couple weeks. But there were so many things about the experience he had over the last few days that he enjoyed so much and wants to do again. Maybe even explore a little more, if Joel is comfortable with that of course.

Surely he would be, Arthur thought to himself as he could feel Joel’s softened cock between your legs. His cock was between your legs too, only it was growing harder and harder by the second with the thoughts of awaking you both with a pleasurable sensation. He spent the night cuddling with you naked instead of satiating that sexual need of his and now he’s woken up today hungry and ravenous to feel your heat wrapped around him, squeezing him of every ounce of desire he could possibly give. The man has never climaxed so much in his life before. It’s as if you hold that special talent to draw all of it out of him. You and Joel.

However, as much as Arthur would have loved to wake you both up with a blissful orgasm, he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries or wrongfully assume that you like that sort of thing. So instead, he carefully peeled the covers back and climbed out of bed, leaving you both to rest for a little longer while he whips up breakfast.

He got dressed then made his way into the kitchen to look over the food stock. The supply was a little sparse and he’d need to make a visit into town today, but there’s enough to make something to eat for three people.

After gathering some sausages, eggs and bacon together, he brewed up three extra hot mugs of black coffee first before slowly starting the cooking process. He didn’t want to rush and risk the chance of ruining the food, but the smell of roasted coffee beans reached Joel first and he woke up before you did. It was his favourite beverage after all, and he exited the bedroom in nothing but his pants and looked at Arthur sitting by the fire.

“You want some help?” He offered kindly.

“Nah. Take a seat and relax.” Arthur denied the helping hand with the same sentiment of kindness in his tone. “Drink ya coffee. I’ll take care of breakfast today.”

“Well, that’s nice of yer.” Joel moved towards the sofa, chuckling softly with a smile on his face. “Thanks, sunshine.”

Arthur turned to look at him now, his cheeks rosed with flattery while mirroring Joel’s smile. “Don’t mention it, big boy.” He replied and looked into the man’s eyes with a lot of adoration and respect for the man.

Recently, those pet names have harboured a different meaning for Joel and Arthur. It wasn’t just a joking gesture between friends anymore. It became something meaningful and sincere. Like it held the same expressive value of calling you darling or sweetheart. Each of them felt a little flutter in their stomachs and a warm sensation spreading across their chests to hear those terms of endearments. The pair have undeniably become closer to each other, and it’s because of you that their friendship blossomed into something more.

It’s been adventurous and exciting, and Arthur simply can’t get enough of you or Joel. It’s a strange feeling for the man to be so sexually satisfied, yet always hungry for more. He wants more of everything. Not just the sex. More of the way you smile, and how Joel laughs, or how you giggle and the way Joel smiles. He wants more of your humour and the way you tease each other, and the way you never forget to include him in everything either. It won’t be the same without you or Joel. He’s become so used to having you there with him day and night that it feels like you’ve been a part of his life for years. Not weeks.

When the smell of the food started invading every corner of the house and the sound of it sizzling in the pan could be heard, you finally woke up and peeped your head out of the bedroom door. Joel and Arthur turned to look at you, both of their eyes darkening with lust at the sight of you looking so sexy. You stood in the doorway, your eyes heavy and hair slightly dishevelled, with a blanket lazily draped over you that did a poor job of covering up the most revealing areas of your body, but neither of them minded the fact they could see the top of your breasts or a glimpse of your pretty cunt.

“Morning.” You said tiredly, your voice soft and quiet. Moving toward the sofa and taking a seat in the middle, you reached for your coffee then brought your knees up to your chest to get comfortable. Joel laid his arm over your shoulder and squeezed your arm gently. “G’morning, doll.” He murmured into his mug, to which you leaned into his side and looked at Arthur as he smiled at you. “Morning, sweetheart.” He said.

You took all but a sip of your coffee before leaning over Joel to place it on a little table, then moved back into your prior position to cosy up into his side while the food cooks. It smelled divine and your stomach growled, but you still felt so tired and couldn’t fight the urge to close your eyes just for a few moments.

You felt Joel’s hand slipping down your arm to pull the blanket over your body to wrap you up and gradually, you ended up resting your cheek against his chest. The deep vibrating hum of his voice as he spoke to Arthur lulled you back to sleep in a matter of seconds. Moments later, they alerted you that breakfast was ready and you opened your eyes to find three plates filled with bacon, eggs, sausages and a couple slices of toast on each.

“God.” You sighed. Sitting up straight and rubbing your eyes, it’s as if you fell asleep for longer than a moment and took a little micro nap because the sun was glaring through the windows now. It was blinding your eyes and zapping you with energy. “Can’t believe I fell back to sleep. How long was I actually out for?” You asked before raising your arms to stretch, not caring about how your blanket fell down and revealed the top half of your body. Your breasts were completely exposed now, which Joel and Arthur immediately looked at and blushed.

“Not even ten minutes... Here, sweetheart.” Arthur presented you a plate of food, the delicious aroma making you salivate as you take it from him. “Thanks, handsome.” You replied, then patted the empty space next to you. “Come sit up here with me and Joel.”

“I won’t say no to that.” He grinned. Standing up from the floor and moving towards the sofa, he took a seat while you readjusted your blanket to cover yourself up again. Even though he wouldn’t have minded the sight of your beautiful bare chest while he ate, it’s best that you protect your skin in case you drop any food and burn yourself.

After getting comfortable and digging into his breakfast, you all basked in the silence with the occasional short conversation in between bites. You didn’t feel the need to talk. It wasn’t awkward in the slightest. It was just peaceful.

Surprisingly, you had finished your food first and it was rather out of the ordinary as Joel and Arthur tend to wolf down their meals like it was the last one they should ever have. It’s obvious that you woke up with an impressive appetite today and both of the men were happy that you ate every last bite. You’ve had a few moments here and there over the last few weeks where you skipped meals because of stress and anxiety. So to see you eating like you ought to be was a big relief.

You stood up from the sofa and made your way into the kitchen to wash up, telling them to bring their dishes through once they’re finished. It just felt like the normal daily routine now; wake up, cook and eat breakfast, then clean and do whatever needed to be done that day before relaxing.

Except, there wasn’t anything on the agenda today. The men had finished the wooden fence yesterday evening and the perimeter is secure now. And enough money has been accumulated over the last couple weeks as well, so there isn’t an urgent need to go out and earn either. Though, you do need to restock the food in the kitchen so maybe a visit into the town of Strawberry would be best.

With the timely fashion of Joel and Arthur entering the kitchen with their dishes, you turned to them and asked: “Should we head out for the day? We need to buy food and I think we’d benefit from getting out of the house for a few hours.”

They looked at each other first, exchanging a few wordless looks of contemplation and approval before looking back at you. “Yeah. I think that’d be nice.” Arthur said first, then Joel quickly added with an even better idea. “How ‘bout a picnic? Owanjilla is near Strawberry. We can visit the town and get the supplies, then head over to the lake for a while. It’s good weather outside.”

“I could bring the fishing poles?” Arthur suggested before you could have the chance to reply, expressing his excitement of the idea by how quickly he spoke. “Me and you ain’t ever fished before. We can even teach Y/N if she don’t know how to do it, and whatever we catch, I’ll use to cook us dinner tonight-”

“No.” Joel interrupted firmly. “I’ll cook dinner. You did breakfast, so it’s only fair you and Y/N take a break. Besides, I got a mean fish pie recipe that you’ll love.” They turned to you now, as if they were looking for confirmation on the plans for the day but you didn’t even have to say anything. The humorous grin on your face said it all, but it made them look at you suspiciously and Arthur pointed it out. “What’s so funny? You got that look in ya eyes.”

“I don’t have a look.” You defend yourself and shrug innocently, yet you still wore that grin on your face. It was hard not to smile and feel so happy about how they bickered just now. They were arguing with good intentions behind their words and it was so endearing to see them getting along like this. It was so attractive to see with your own eyes how much they care for each other, and how much they care for you too. “Can’t a lady just be happy for no reason at all, Arthur?” You tease before turning around to face the sink, knowing that your words and actions would prompt him to react in the very best way.

“Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He moved closer and reached out for you, his hand landing on your hip felt warm and strong, thus sending a tingling shiver up your spine. “I didn't mean it like that... Won’t ya forgive me?” He asked, his voice seductive and corrupt as he toys with the blanket wrapped around your body like a towel. You bite your lip and stifle a moan when feeling his fingers traveling inside the fabric to touch your skin. It was like white hot electricity once he made contact, the sensation making your legs squeeze together with a palpable pulse in your nether regions.

“Yes. I suppose I could forgive you, Arthur.” You managed to capture some focus to reply to the man, but feeling him closing in was making your head dizzy with desire. He slowly pulled the blanket off your body and let it drop to the floor, the action making you inhale shakily with the cool air hitting your nipples.

You could hear how they both sighed breathily behind you, as if they were admiring the image of you fully nude from behind. They've seen you naked numerous times now, yet it seems that your appearance never ceases to amaze them. Their eyes were blown wide with lust, their cocks already growing hard and stiff. Arthur pinched your ass cheek and Joel chuckled sadistically at the way you gasped then leaned into him, like you were searching for more.

“You gonna watch or join, big boy?” Arthur whispered to Joel before he moved to stand behind you, his words making your eyes close with anticipation and intrigue as to what comes next. It could only be something most enjoyable and pleasuring. The men never left you wanting, but in some weird way, you always want more. Hell, you even thought about waking them up during the night with an orgasm, but didn’t want to ruin a good sleep. Joel needed it desperately. You saw the bags under his eyes yesterday and they were heavy, but today they have practically disappeared.

Now though, you’re all on the same page and you’re mutually feeling insatiable for each other’s touch. Your head lolls back as Arthur brings his arms around your front to palm your breasts, grabbing the plump flesh by the handfuls while rolling the stiffened nipples between his fingers. You would have moaned, but it was snatched by Joel as he tilted your face towards him eagerly, forcefully, and sealed his lips over yours in a heated kiss.

The man wasn't shy with expressing how much he wanted you. Both of them were like that. Joel swallowed all the pretty little noises you made and groped himself to relieve the ache in his cock. The men groaned in unison, feeling your body become soft like putty in their hands was a reward in itself, as if they were so intoxicating and overwhelming in the very best way for you.

You sampled only a taste of Joel’s tongue in your mouth before he pulled away and looked at Arthur. He made some sort of gesture with his mouth that you didn’t quite catch before they both started smirking at each other, the looks in their eyes can only be described as pure carnal need.

Arthur brought you with him as he took a step back and provided some room for Joel to move in front of you and kneel to the floor, then it suddenly became clear as to what gesture he made with his mouth mere moments ago. The man looked up at you through half-lidded eyes and licked his lips, his face now inches away from your pussy.

“Open your legs a little more for him, kitten.” Arthur instructed, his voice sweet like honey, yet deeply venereal and desirous. Doing as he so politely asked, you spread your feet apart and looked down at Joel as he leaned in to place a kiss on your mound. Your chest began to rise and fall quickly now with the sensation. It felt so good and you could feel Arthur smirking against your neck as he, too, watched Joel get to work between your legs.

He placed another kiss directly over your clit now, but didn’t pull away this time and slipped his tongue between your folds, making your mouth fall open with a pathetic little whimper leaving your lips. It was so breathy and ragged, the sound fuelling their eagerness to please you.

“Oh, that’s good. Right there, Joel.” Arthur praised while holding onto your hips to keep you still as you naturally pulled away from the overstimulation of pleasure. It was surprising to feel how sensitive you still were. You thought it would have eased off now after taking a much needed rest last night, but your clit was still swollen and tender despite the fact you yearned for their touch.

The little gasps and mewling whines escaping you were music to the men's ears. It spurred them both on to keep delivering their punishingly satisfying treatment. Joel gripped the back of your thighs to keep you pinned into the position of his liking while rapidly flicking his tongue left and right, the sound of him slurping up your juices was most shocking and exciting all at the same time. He sounded like a man starved, and your cunt was his only source of replenishment.

It was pleasing just to hear him groaning and grunting into your slicked folds, as if he couldn’t ever get enough; as if he wouldn’t ever be replenished and would always need a drink of your desire right from the source. Arthur rested his chin into the nook of your neck and looked down into Joel’s darkened eyes. “Ya hear that, big boy?” He asked proudly. “She’s close… Y/N’s gonna come for us.” He spoke to him like you weren’t even there and rolled his hips forward to ease the ache in his dick.

You could feel how hard he was. It was pressing into your lower back firmly, but the man didn’t take what he so desperately needed. You would eagerly offer Arthur to fuck you from behind, but it’s as if the man was getting off watching you fall apart on Joel’s tongue instead.

“Oh fuck.” You whined. Throwing your head back with a sobbing cry of their names, Arthur took advantage of the opening and kissed your neck plenty as the peak of your orgasm neared. You could feel the cramp in your abdomen tensing up. It was powerful and beautiful, ready to unravel at any given second. You started to claw at Arthur’s arms and panted heavily between moans of pleasure, but the moment Joel sunk two fingers into your aching cunt, the tension broke and you saw stars.

“Joel!” You mewled his name to the heavens above, almost screamed it. He didn’t ease up and prolonged your climax as long as he possibly could, drawing out every ounce of desire you could offer. Your legs buckled beneath you. It felt so good, but it was too much. All of it was too much.

You couldn’t concentrate on how deliciously big and thick Joel’s fingers were as they worked you open and caressed that soft spot deep inside, the action making you drip your essence down his arm. You couldn’t focus on how good Arthur’s lips felt on your neck, or how feral he sounded as he dry humped you from behind. The man was practically fucking you, using the friction inside his jeans to release a creamy white load onto the denim fabric.

The way they both groaned and grunted was arousing and worthy of another orgasm right there and then. It’s as if they didn’t care how they looked or sounded when making love to you like this in the kitchen. They were ravenous for you to be pleased sexually, starved of those pretty little sounds you make for their ears only and didn’t care about their own pleasure.

You couldn’t concentrate on how filthy and shameless they were right now, but neither of them were done with you yet. It’s Arthur’s turn next; his turn to make you fall apart on his tongue and his fingers as they work you open even more.

Oh, what a sensational way to start the day, you thought.

Later that day, at around noon, you had finally made it to Owanjilla lake and took it upon yourself to set up a blanket on a little bank beneath a tree. You needed to shade as the sun was high in the sky now and you didn't have any sun cream, only a large sun hat to keep you from burning your face, neck and shoulders.

Joel and Arthur didn’t seem to care all that much though. They removed their shirts and lapped up every minute of the heat. It was nice to look at them half undressed and bathe under the sun, but you kept an eye on the time and watched closely for any signs of sunburn or sunstroke.

Taking their shirts off only lasted fifteen minutes before they started cooking and you told them to put their clothes back on. After making a broad selection of sandwiches to choose from and setting them aside to eat later, you finally sat down and relaxed. It was heavenly under the shade. There was a cool breeze whispering through the bushy trees and it sounded angelic.

“My God.” You gasped in awe as you admired the scenic view of everything around you. The lake is magnificent, and the land surrounding it was even more pretty. “Arthur, how can you live here and not spend every day outside? It’s…. It’s just breath-taking.” Kicking your shoes off, you lean against the bark of the tree and unwind to the full extent.

“I do spend every day outside, sweetheart.” Arthur chuckled. Taking his shoes off as well, he and Joel walked a couple feet into the water and threw out the line of their fishing rods before he tilted his head towards you and continued his conversation. “I’ve spent most of my life outside. Ever since I was a young boy really, and I guess it’s always been in my nature to wander around and explore the land, you know?"

“Yeah.” You agree contently. “You’re an outdoorsy kind of guy… I like that.” It makes you smile to think about how Joel is also an outdoorsy kind of guy. He enjoys hiking back home, but hasn't been able to go out and indulge all that much since he started the renovation. The thought popping into your mind brought a twinge of sadness with it though, so you quickly shrugged it off and tried to ignore how much you miss your home. “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen out on the road before?” You asked, hoping the topic would distract your mind.

“Shit. There’s so many, I wouldn’t know which ones are the weirdest.” He replied with another chuckling laugh, the sound making you and Joel smile. Arthur once said that you have a pretty laugh, but his laugh is really infectious and attractive. As a matter of fact, Joel’s laugh is the same. They’re just like each other in so many ways, yet uniquely different in their own beautiful way.

“I think I saw a flying spaceship one-time.” Arthur continued casually, dropping that piece of information like it was normal. “I followed some instructions and saw some circular flying object in the night sky. It had a bright green light shining down from it.”

“And you expect us to believe that, huh sunshine?” Joel scoffed affectionately. Nudging Arthur’s side while shaking his head in disbelief, you shook your head too, but the man persisted that it was true. “I could show ya’ll where to find it, then you’ll believe me and then we'll see who's laughing.” He joked, then returned a playful nudge to Joel with a smirk on his lips. They continued to push into each other and slowly broke into a fit of laughter once it became too boisterous. Their camaraderie was most enjoyable to watch. It was entertaining and humorous, the sight making you giggle.

“Anyways, how ‘bout you, sweetheart?” Arthur turned to ask you, then looked at Joel to make him feel included in the conversation. “Ya’ll ever seen something weird like that before? I got stories for days, but all I’ve done is talk about myself since I met you. Tell me what it’s like where you’re from.”

“Well, I can’t say I’ve seen an flying spaceship before, or anything as weird as that.” You admit, then look to Joel for his input. “What about you, Joel? You got anything?”

“Yeah actually, I do.” He nods with a soft laugh, as if he were hesitant to say. “I uhh… I think I might have seen a ghost before. It was a long time ago now, but I was around five or six years old when I saw a woman sitting on the foot of my bed. I didn’t recognise her and my mom thought I was lying for the longest time until she saw her one day too.”

“Oh wow… That’s really spooky.” You shivered with goosebumps when trying to imagine how you’d feel in that situation. It must have been freaky for Joel and his mom to see such an unexplainable phenomenon. You’ve met Joel’s mom once before. Avery is her name and she’s a lovely old woman. Joel clearly got his good looks from her and his old fashioned gentleman attitude from his father, Hudson.

The Miller’s are a welcoming family, and Joel misses them dearly. You’ve noticed that over the weeks you’ve been stuck here, and you can sense that he’s feeling despaired right now from his sudden bout of silence and the way Arthur looked at him with concern in his eyes. The mention of his mother clearly brought all of those emotions to the surface again; the very same emotions you’ve been trying to shove down deep inside and ignore.

It’s been hard trying to remain hopeful that you’ll find your way home again, but it’s been exceptionally harder for Joel to cope considering he actually has a family to go back to. You haven’t seen your family in years. You grew apart after moving across the country as soon as you turned eighteen, and even though you do sort of miss them, you don’t yearn to be reunited with your family like Joel does with his.

Rising to your feet, you walked towards him and reached out to wrap your arms around his body, using your embrace to comfort him. It’s what he so desperately needed right now — comfort and consolation.

Arthur laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed reassuringly, causing the man to crumple under the gestures. He lowered his head and looked away, as if he were ashamed to show his teary eyes. The mood had changed so quickly and it’s become evidently clear in your mind that he’s been keeping this bottled up inside.

After a few quiet moments, he gathered himself together before placing his hand over yours. “S’okay.” He muttered while shaking his head. “I’m okay.”

You continued to cuddle him from behind and didn’t let go. And neither did Arthur. He stood closer to Joel and wrapped an arm around your back, as if pulling you both into a warm hug. “Whatever it takes.” He said solemnly. “I’m sorry this happened, but I’ll do whatever it takes to get ya’ll back home.”

Joel turned to look at the man and smiled with respect and gratitude. “Thanks, Arthur. It means a lot and I appreciate everything you’ve been doing for- woah!” He yelled out when his fishing rod damn near slipped out his hands. You could feel the force of the fish biting on the bait as Joel was yanked forward before planting his feet into the ground. “Christ. What kinda fish ya’ll got here?” He asked, but before Arthur could answer, he was yanked forward again and you quickly darted your hands out to hold the rod with him.

“Arthur… I can’t hold….” You giggled relentlessly, struggling to form the words and ask for help when suddenly, Joel was yanked for a third time and it caused you both to fall forward and land in the water. You were drenched and the fishing rod was gone in a matter of seconds. It disappeared into the dark abyss of Owanjilla Lake before you could even think about grabbing it.

“You fucking bastard!” You cursed at the fish between fits of laughter, then quickly got on your feet and moved further into the lake with Joel and Arthur shouting for you to stop. It was an impulse decision to chase it down, even though it was useless. But after catching a glimpse of the fishing rod, you leaped for it and without hesitation, the men rushed in the lake after you.

Together, you all ran around the shallow waters like headless chickens looking for the fishing rod until it got deeper and deeper. The lake wasn’t a huge body of water, but the depth in the middle was so cavernous that you couldn’t see the bottom. It looked like an endless black void and it was eerily frightening as well. You quickly lost sight of the fishing rod and didn’t want to attempt swimming down to the bottom of the lake looking for it.

“Seriously, what kind of fish do ya’ll have out here?” You repeat Joel’s question from earlier as you swim back to the shore. “That fucker has to be twenty pounds at least.”

“I reckon it'll be the legendary smallmouth bass.” Arthur replied. Trudging through the water together, he helped you and Joel to your feet before reeling in his fishing line to take a break. He didn’t want to try his luck again anytime soon and needed to ease the happy cramp in his stomach after laughing so much with you both. It was funny to him watching you chase after a fish, and even more funny to him that he and Joel joined the search.

You walk towards the picnic blanket, feeling defeated and beaten, then sit down to dry off as he explained. “I got a couple maps in my satchel. One is for legendary animals, the other is for legendary fish and the smallmouth bass is here in Lake Owanjilla. They’re rare to find, but worth every penny.”

“And you didn’t think to tell us that?” You looked at him with a facial expression that spoke of shock and slight annoyance. That small detail about a twenty pound legendary fish would have better prepared you and Joel. It wouldn’t have caught you off guard like it just did and maybe you could have saved the fishing rod.

But looking on the brighter side of the whole situation, it distracted Joel perfectly and now he’s feeling happier. You can see it on the man’s face as he smiles and rubs a hand over his stomach, as if easing the discomfort he feels from laughing so much.

“I honestly forgot to mention it.” Arthur palmed a hand through his hair, the locks of wet blonde starting to curl at the ends. He grinned and shrugged timidly under your playful glare, the sight making you break into a smile and roll your eyes. “Alright.” You sighed softly. “I suppose we’ll have to try again with your fishing rod later and see if we get lucky. We’re going to need a bigger bait as well. I’m surprised the bastard even took Joel’s bait.”

“So how do you know that we need a bigger bait if you’ve never fished before?” Arthur questioned, and Joel turned to you with a suspicious look on his face, the stifled smile on his lips making your cheeks burn. They’re onto you. They’re slowly piecing together that you do in fact know how to fish and you lied about it earlier.

You rolled your lips together and waved your hands flippantly, acting like you had no clue what Arthur was talking about when in actuality, you probably know more about fishing than what they both know collectively.

“Ohhh. You little minx.” Joel laughed deeply with merriment. “You played me and Arthur like a fiddle, didn’t yer? Acting like you don’t know how to fish so we’d teach you how to do it. Tsk-tsk-tsk.” He tuts three times and the sound surprisingly turns you on. It’s as if being called out and playfully scolded by the man was exciting and it never dawned on you before just how much you liked that sort of thing. You wonder what else you could do that results in some form of punishment in the bedroom.

A pleasurable punishment delivered by Joel and Arthur at the same time…

Later that evening when the sun was a couple hours away from tucking in the night, you packed everything up from the picnic by the lake and stowed it back on the horses. You’ve had a long and adventurous day, but you’re ready to tuck in for the night too. It’s getting colder and darker by the hour and it’s time to get back to the homestead in Tall Trees.

Making a quick stop into the local town known as Strawberry, you approach the post office with a great sense of pride sitting on your shoulders. You caught the smallmouth bass. It was a big legendary fish indeed that weighed in at a whopping twenty-two pounds and six ounces. It also took Joel and Arthur to lend a hand for you to reel it in, so it was actually a team effort rather than a solo achievement. You caught some other lake fish as well for Joel to cook up for dinner tonight and just the thought of sampling a taste of his cooking is making you salivate.

The reason you’re making a quick stop at the post office however, is to mail the prize fish to Jeremy Gill – a famous fisherman and writer who Arthur met a while back. Arthur sure meets some interesting people out on his travels and the fact he might have seen a UFO doesn’t really seem that far-fetched anymore. You and Joel didn’t believe him at first, but considering the circumstances of how you both got here, it’s nothing out of the ordinary for the cowboy. It’s probably just like any ol’ regular Tuesday for him.

While the man heads inside and conducts his business, you wait outside with Joel. The moon was already starting to make an appearance on the other side of the sky now and the fading transformation of colours was most spectacular to look upon. On one side, it was a deep red and orange, but then on the other side it was a dark purple and blue with a couple sparkling white specks from the stars. It was beautiful, and truth be told, you wouldn’t ever get over how amazingly clear the skies were here. Soon you will be able to see all the stars and constellations again, just like you do every night.

“Hey.” Joel called out gently, and you snapped out of your idolisation of the sky above to look into his warm hazel brown eyes. “Sorry to disturb yer. I know how much you like looking at the night sky.” He chuckled and the sound made you feel warm and fuzzy. “I just wanted to thank you for everything today, doll.”

“It’s ok. I think we all needed that breath of fresh air, you know? So really, it’s ok, hon.” You shrugged it off, appreciating but denying his gratitude because it really was no problem at all about proposing the idea to head out for the day instead of staying back at the homestead like you usually do. You all needed to get out of the house and take a much needed break from everything. But to your surprise, the man reached out to take your hand and insisted that you know what he’s thankful for exactly. “I meant thank you for taking care of me when I broke down, darlin’. I… I really needed that.” He explained.

“Oh.” You sighed quietly. Looking into his eyes with compassion and empathy etched on your face, you can only begin to imagine how much he needed the comfort and reassurance from you and Arthur at that particular moment. He’s been trying so hard to keep himself together for your sake, and it’s only fair he released some of that emotional pain he’s been balling up inside. You’ve never seen Joel cry before, and you don’t ever wish to see it again, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be allowed to nor should he feel ashamed to. He is human after all, and everybody finds some form of cathartic release when shedding a few tears. The guise that everything will be okay could only last so long for the man. It was only a matter of time before he broke down, and you’re most grateful to have been there when he really needed you.

Leaning into his side, you rest your cheek against his shoulder and place your hand over his chest, feeling the speedy beat of his heart beneath your palm. He’s worried about the worst case scenario. You can tell because whenever you think about the worse case scenario, it makes your heartbeat erratic too. The thought of never returning home makes you hysterical, so you try your very best not to think about it and remain positive instead. You distract yourself and keep busy, and that’s exactly what he needs right now.

“It’s ok, Joel.” You whispered tenderly then tilted your head upwards to look into his eyes again. “We’ll get through this together. I can’t tell you how exactly, or make everything right again, but you know I’m always going to be here for you.”

“Of course.” He breathed a sigh of relief, as if hearing those words were working to ease his emotional plight. He already knows you’re with him every step of the way, but hearing you say it is what he needed to hear. “And Arthur too.” He added after a moment's reflection, like he was slowly coming to grips with the worse case scenario and accepting the cold hard truth. “He’s always going to be here for us too.”

“Of course.” You reiterated his exact words, like you were also coming to grips with the cold hard truth. It hurts to accept that, but they always said the truth hurts. You need to start thinking about long-term living arrangements here and about building a secure future because the chances of going home are so slim that it seems to be nigh impossible. It’s something you and Joel should have figured out sooner rather than later to save yourselves the let down and disappointment.

But upon looking at the silver lining of things, it couldn’t have been made any more clearer that you and Arthur are Joel’s rock. You’re both someone he can rely on and seek comfort and reassurance from. You and Arthur keep him held together, like you’re the glue mending all of the broken pieces, and they both do the exact same thing for you too. Like they are your rocks, keeping you grounded and mentally sane.

Without Arthur Morgan's gracious attitude toward strangers and his offer to help – even after getting into a brawl with Joel – you both would have been severely broken and hopeless. He’s been keeping you both held together, and when the man finally exited the post office without a letter from Francis Sinclair, you looked at him and smiled with teary eyes for the debt that could never be repaid. He saved your lives, and you’d forever be filled with gratitude for that.

“Alright, who’s ass do I gotta kick for making our gal cry?” He asked Joel, and you would have giggled at his question to show that you’re crying happy tears, but the use of ‘our girl’ was making your stomach flutter. It made you feel equally loved by Joel and Arthur. Not more or less, just an equal and powerful amount of love from both of them. But because of the stupefied look on your face and the sound of your silence, Joel replied to the man for you. “Well, that would be your own ass, sunshine.” He chucked before wrapping an arm around your back. “We’re just really happy to have you with us, Arthur. I don’t even know where we’d be right now without yer and I’m glad we’re all together.”

Taking the words right out of your mouth, the man couldn’t have articulated it better. It was true. You wouldn’t know where you’d be right now and you’re most glad to have each other. Arthur really absorbed Joel’s words and started to blush with flattery. His cheeks were burning redder than a tomato as he perched both hands to his hips and timidly shuffled on his feet. “Oh, you’re too kind.” He said before approaching his horse and mounting the saddle. “A man like me doesn't deserve good people like ya’ll in my life.”

“Why? Because you’re a thief who steals from wealthy people who don’t deserve it?” You chimed in now and leaned over to squeeze his bicep. “Don’t put yourself down like that, Arthur. You’re a good man with a big heart and we’ve been thinking…” Looking into Joel’s eyes, he nods in your direction with approval for what you’re about to say. “...I think it’s time we start looking for long-term living arrangements and we’d like you to stay with us, or if your gang would allow it, maybe we could stay with you.”

Arthur turned to look at you both now with hope in his eyes. “Really? Y-you and Joel?”

“Yes.” Joel answered the man, then sighed heavily. “It doesn’t look like we’ll be headin’ home, so whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with us.” He chuckles softly and begins to accept the cold hard truth that this is his life now. “We’re with you till the end of the line, Arthur… Me and Y/N, if you’ll have us.”

“B-Both of you?” He asked timidly, his eyes darting between you both before he looked at Joel’s lips, the action making the man burn up with a blushing smile. It made you smile too because it isn’t just some adventurous no strings-attached kind of sex between three people, two of whom have never explored the act of love with the opposite sex before, but it’s becoming something serious and romantic. It’s quite obvious that Arthur doesn’t just want you both to stick around and become a part of his life, but he wants you both intimately.

And from the way Joel winked at Arthur, he did too.

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