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#i just can't sustain it anymore
watermelinoe · 2 years
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i think circadian rhythm disorders should count as a disability
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larrylimericks · 1 year
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10Aug23
New actress, same script: Harry’s coupled. The effect is publicity doubled: He gets post-tour mentions, Her name gets attention From an audience easily hustled.
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meowmeowmessi · 1 year
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there won't be mythical, almost god like entities like pelé maradona cruyff messi etc anymore. footballers these days are influencers more than anything else
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doefrost · 1 year
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For the love of God please help me
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vulpinesaint · 2 years
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throws a book at the wall i'm SO fucking tired of putting emotional effort into relationships only for it not to be reciprocated
#trying so fucking hard not to resent someone i really like rn.#they're going through a hard time and obvi i'm glad they feel comfortable coming to me for support.#but also... :( to have that be the only thing we really talk ab anymore...#miss them i guess. wanna talk like we used to.#nd to send support and an expression of how i rlly empathize bc i'm going through smth similar and get no response...#idk. sadbad. working on not letting those feelings fester#i just cannot be therapistfriend. i am Not therapist friend in most situations!!!#the problem is that i am a very good listener but not super approachable in that way to most people?#so i end up with one or two people with really big constant problems every year or so who put All of that onto me.#and i try SO fucking hard in my relationships with people i care about.#and that's SO much energy and emotional investment into their problems and it just isn't sustainable.#especially when i'm not getting it in return.#idk i probably just need to tell them what i'm feeling about. open and honest communication ftw#i'm sure they'll get it if i say 'i've had a lot of relationships in the past that devolved into me being the vessel for people's issues...#...and it's turned into me resenting them over time and i really don't want that to happen with us.'#'just need you to talk w/ me about other things sometimes' y'know?#i'm already drawing a lot of boundaries so that i don't throw myself into comforting and placating and facilitating someone's feelings#which DOES make me a good listener. but i can't be sacrificing myself for that. not rn anyway.#god but also i just want to have a fucking conversation sometimes is that too much to ask#i get that ur having a hard time emotionally but you could at least respond to the easy upbeat messages that i send you#specifically TO facilitate easy upbeat conversation that doesn't require emotional effort from you#or like. initiate conversation Ever when it's not around the negative situation u want to talk to me about. you know.#it's okay. i'll talk to them. just feeling frustrated.#i'm going to get bled fucking dry if i keep putting so much of myself into relationships without receiving anything in return#valentine notes
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niuxita21 · 2 years
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Juan Carlos doesn’t believe me that we’re a couple. I know, Pablo doesn’t believe me, either. That’s why I think you should move in with me, that way they would have no choice but to believe us. [beat] I’m sorry, I know I was insensitive. I know you were really excited about Ferrán and you’re having a really hard time letting him go. But we have two very important reasons. We can’t split them up. We’re a family, regardless of who likes it. I know it’s been really hard for both of us having to lie to the people we love the most. Remember when our only choice was to be apart for a year. Yes, you’re right. I owe you an apology, too. I am willing to stick to the plan for our family. Thank you. I promise not to try to control everything and to trust you. 
#madre solo hay dos#ana servín#mariana herrera#shitty screencap posts (TM)#gotta say I did not expect the show to keep ferrán around#but real talk I can't imagine how they would have sustained 10 episodes' worth of plot without him#like what ana and mariana would have just been free to fake date and fall in love in the process (maybe) with no conflict whatsoever?#jc looking for proof that they're lying wouldn't even have been a problem anymore bc it would've soon become clear that they weren't lying#and the plot would have ended by episode 5#this way at least they both have some source of conflict#ana with possibly developing feelings for mariana while mariana is still into ferrán (a classic)#and mariana with having to keep up a fake relationship while hiding her real relationship from ana and from everyone#this is just a much more interesting setup for me idk#so I'll just be here at my table for one looking forward for all those bombshells to finally drop#anyway back to this scene I like that despite mariana being the more hesitant one of the two#ana doesn't have to strong-arm her just give her an impassioned plea emphasizing '''their''' family (don't you just love the sound of that?)#and mariana suddenly doesn't sound so hesitant anymore#and I also love how no matter what ana says (especially when it's in the heat of the moment and it hurts mariana on some level)#she immediately apologizes to her and makes it clear that she understands mariana's side#it's just been SO consistent since season 1 and it makes me so happy to see it#it's part of what makes their relationship so enjoyable to watch even when there's not supposed to be shippy undertones
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wedefyauguryy · 2 years
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economics is the worst subject to have as a leftist
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cheeseknives · 6 days
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Everytime I feel useless, I think about how our neighbors' Skoda has its own WiFi
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juicedaloe · 4 months
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there's a difference between everyone having their needs met in a humanitarian way and the dystopian capitalist ideal of having every possible selection of products at the convenience of the consumer. and i think some people don't understand that
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gentlethorns · 6 months
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i hate being mentally ill and i especially hate that it's triggered by stress. it's like once things start dogpiling on me my own brain jumps in to join the fun and i'm like ??? stop???
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kilucore · 7 months
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So I've started rewatching ATLA to cleanse my palette, and I only now noticed this foreshadowing from the very first episode, the second scene with Zuko in the entire series.
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The show introduces the idea that Zuko's firebending isn't sustainable and is fueled by rage right at the beginning, which of course comes back in The Firebending Masters, where he can't firebend anymore because he doesn't have that rage. Basically that Zuko is cutting corners in his firebending through brute force and anger (a la "you will teach me the advanced set!"), and Iroh knows, or hopes, there will come a time that Zuko can't firebend like this.
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Just, so cool that I can always notice new things and nuances in this show no matter how many times I watch it.
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hallaburger · 2 years
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brain chemistry is evil. being locked in a life-and-death battle with my own psyche is exhausting.
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kaijuno · 12 days
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"No piece of art has ever emotionally affected me the way this robot arm piece has. It's programmed to try to contain the hydraulic fluid that’s constantly leaking out and required to keep itself running...if too much escapes, it will die so it's desperately trying to pull it back to continue to fight for another day. Saddest part is they gave the robot the ability to do these 'happy dances' to spectators. When the project was first launched it danced around spending most of its time interacting with the crowd since it could quickly pull back the small spillage. Many years later... (as you see it now in the video) it looks tired and hopeless as there isn't enough time to dance anymore.. It now only has enough time to try to keep itself alive as the amount of leaked hydraulic fluid became unmanageable as the spill grew over time. Living its last days in a never-ending cycle between sustaining life and simultaneously bleeding out... (Figuratively and literally as its hydraulic fluid was purposefully made to look like it's actual blood).
"The robot arm finally ran out of hydraulic fluid in 2019, slowly came to a halt and died - And I am now tearing up over a friggin robot arm 😭 It was programmed to live out this fate and no matter what it did or how hard it tried, there was no escaping it. Spectators watched as it slowly bled out until the day that it ceased to move forever. Saying that 'this resonates' doesn't even do it justice imo. Created by Sun Yuan & Peng Yu, they named the piece, 'Can't Help Myself'. What a masterpiece. What a message."
Extended interpretations: the hydraulic fluid in relation to how we kill ourselves both mentally and physically for money just in an attempt to sustain life, how the system is set up for us to fail on purpose to essentially enslave us and to steal the best years of our lives to play the game that the richest people of the world have designed. How this robs us of our happiness, passion and our inner peace. How we are slowly drowning with more responsibilities, with more expected of us, less rewarding pay-offs and less free time to enjoy ourselves with as the years go by. How there's really no escaping the system and that we were destined at birth to follow a pretty specific path that was already laid out before us. How we can give and give and give and how easily we can be forgotten after we've gone.. How we are loved and respected when we are valuable, then one day we aren't any longer and we become a burden...and how our young, free-caring spirit gets stolen from us as we get churned out of the broken system that we are trapped inside of. Can also be seen to represent the human life cycle and the fact that none of us make it out of this world alive. But also can act as a reminder to allow yourself to heal, rest and love with all of your heart. That the endless chase for 'more' isn't necessary in finding your own inner happiness.”
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reiderwriter · 10 months
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hi! I just wanted to say I think your writing is so good and you seem like a lovely person 🥰 I’m hoping to request a post prison Spencer smut. Basically it’s when he’s just been released and he’s so touch starved and possessive over you? I’m such a sucker for prison Reid I can’t 😅
A/N: Nothing hotter than a man who looks like he has been through hell, and dear GOD, is post-Prison Spencer DELECTABLE. Thank you for your request!
Warnings: 18+, minors dni. Penetrative sex, creampie, slight dom/sub themes, use of pet names, spoilers for s12 of Criminal Minds, mentions of prison, mentions of blood/ wounds and injuries sustained in prison.
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The seconds ticked down as you waited for the key to be pushed into the lock, the door to swing open and for your life to be put back together. 84 days and you were on edge, almost three months without him.
Your leg shook as you waited, heard the footsteps coming up the hall. You stood, wiping the sweat off your hands and taking a deep breath.
You hadn't been allowed to visit Spencer in prison, his teammates taking priority as they worked to keep him safe, to get him out. You hadn't seen him in three months, though you'd moved yourself into his house to be able to wrap yourself in his scent, haunt yourself with his presence.
He wasn't a ghost anymore, as he opened the door and you found your eyes on Spencer Reid for the first time in too long.
“Spencer,” you voice was pathetically small, as if you didn't trust him to be real anymore. You supposed that was probably justified. Your entire body was on edge as you looked him up and down.
Before, he'd keep himself clean shaved, but you found yourself greatly appreciative of the stubble framing his face. He'd never been the best at taking care of his hair, and now it looked perfectly ready for you to run your hands through. His clothes were still messy and by god did you want to grab the lapels of his jacket and pull him back into you.
“You're still here,” his voice was nearly as weak as your own, as if he'd not used it for nearly as much as it should've been used. “I know they said you were but… god I'm so happy you're still here.”
He took a step closer to you and pulled you towards him. You weren't used to Spencer initiating physical contact like this, his hands strong and certain on your hips as he grabbed you, one hand coming up to the back of your head to cradle it and push you further into him.
You melted into the touch, finally feeling warm after the coldest spring of your life.
“You can't get rid of me that easily, Spencer.”
“Good,” he said, tilting your head up and not hesitating even one beat before he pushed his lips against yours. His grip was hot as you let out a soft moan into his mouth, taken aback by his sudden affection.
Before prison, you'd been quietly intimate. A soft kiss here and there, and some awkward and tender sex. While you didn't mind your earlier boundaries, you certainly weren't mourning them now, gripping his shirt tighter as his tongue began exploring you. You'd been happy just to be in his presence before, but now you needed to be so close that you could no longer find where his body stopped and yours started.
When you lifted your leg, he instantly took your hint and pulled you up, holding you in his arms as you wrapped your legs around his waist.
Not breaking from your kiss for longer than a breath, he dropped everything to carry you back to the bedroom.
“84 days.” You gasped between kisses as he dropped you on the bed, falling down with you as he moved his attention to your neck, your chest, your bared throat.
A growl was all the reply he had to that, knowing instantly what you were talking about, but needing to feel you more, to pull comfort from the warmth of your body.
“84 days and I thought with each of them that I would never do it again. You're never leaving me again, I wouldn't survive. I'd refuse.”
“84 days, 7 hours, 23 minutes. Every lone moment thinking about this and you, and being here again,” he said, pulling back again to stare directly at your bared soul.
“I need to feel you now, Y/N. Please, be a good girl and let me.”
If you could will your own clothes away, you would've at that moment, already aware of the mounting pleasure pooling between your legs.
Instead, Spencer handled it for you, tearing where he couldn't unbutton fast enough, divesting you of shirt and skirt and beginning to work your underwear slowly down your legs. At the same time, you pushed yourself up, scrambling to unbutton his own shirt, moaning in frustration as you struggled to get it pushed off his shoulders.
“Spencer, clothes off, now,” you begged, and he finally paused for a second.
“I'm different. Not a lot, but there are some…wounds. Don't be alarmed.”
“Spencer, if you think a few cuts and bruises are going to dampen the absolute desire I have burning for you, you are dumber than I thought.” Taking his momentary surprise to your advantage, you pushed him up and straddled his lap, sitting together with him as you rid him of his clothes.
You traced hands over every ridge of his skin, trying to document every change and appreciate every line. Tracing your way downward, you let your hand disappear into his lap as you looked up at him again, catching his eye as your fingers unbuttoned his pants.
His hand stroked lazily across your cunt but his eyes locked with yours and you found yourself aching with a need for him.
Before, he'd been thorough about foreplay, making sure you were absolutely ready for him, ensuring your pleasure and bringing you to climax before he even palmed himself through his pants.
It was generous, and everything you didn't want right now. You needed him to get everything he'd missed, needed to see him relaxed, pleasured, sunk deep inside of you and losing himself with each stroke.
You softly pressed a kiss to his lips, releasing him from his pants. A few strokes was enough to have him at full mast, and in another moment you were pushing yourself up on your knees and sinking back down.
Three months and you'd almost forgotten how perfectly he filled you, steadying yourself with hands on his shoulders as you bit back a whorish moan.
“Good girl, just like I remember…” his words came out slurred, as of he were drunk on the feeling of you, intoxicated as you began rocking your hips up and down his length.
“I'm better than you remembered,” you mumbled, stroking the small soft curls at the base of his neck. It was ridiculous being jealous of your past self, but god did you want to grab the you of January and shake her within an inch of her life.
You'd tell her to grab Spencer Reid and never let him go, to make him spend his entire life filling you up, to pleasure him until he hadn't a single thought of going anywhere.
You kept up your pace, riding him at an even pace, making sure to lower yourself down as far as you could manage without becoming a moaning mess, but soon the pleasure became overwhelming.
Spencer kept one hand working over your clit, and you had to resist falling apart in his hands, determined to pleasure him before you thought of taking that same ecstasy for yourself.
“It's okay, Y/N, you can let go. I know how long you've waited for this,” his words were soft but his tone was demanding, ordering you to cum on his cock. He lifted his hips slightly, grabbing your hips in his hand as he took charge of the pace and strength of your thrusts, going harder and faster than you'd been able to manage.
You loathed to give up control, bit your body betrayed you, thighs shaking as you gave into his wishes, cumt clenching around him as you rode out your orgasm.
“That's it, nice and tight for me.” He grunted the words into your ear as he really took control. Tipping you until you were again flat on your back, he lifted his hips up and let his pace speed up, rutting into you deeply as he breathed in your scent, head buried in your hair, arms tight around your waist.
You moaned for him, knowing he loved every sound that passed your lips, knowing that he craved the knowledge of your pleasure.
He, too, didn't hold back. His voice filled your ear, filling your brain with every fantasy, every memory of you that had kept him alive for 84 days of hell.
Each story was lustier than the last, your mouth dropping open in a moan as you, too, imagined him in each of the scenarios he'd spent time on in prison.
You across his desk, his head between your legs in the morning, you in his cell, him inside you in public, the red scratches your nails dragged against his skin that had been commented on in the showers.
You'd guided his through 84 days of hell, and you were finally embracing him on the other side.
“Y/N, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna- shit.”
To your surprise, he didn't pull out as he usually would, but instead slammed himself deeper as he began releasing string after string of his sperm into you.
“Shit. I'm sorry I should've asked if that was…”
“I don't care. Just next time, make sure you do that again.” The feeling of his cum inside you was enough to push your body over the edge once again, and you panted as the aftershocks continued milking his cock.
“I missed you.” He whispered, pushing a few stray hairs behind your ear as he stared at you with all the love in the world.
“I missed you more.” You whispered back, and you meant it.
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nonotnolan · 5 months
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Jock Cock, Part 1
"You wanted to see me, sir?" Adam Johnson, next year's star quarterback and this year's bane of my existence, looked up at me with his baby blue eyes. If he was trying to look small and unintimidating, it would have worked better without carrying 200+ pounds of muscle on a six foot frame.
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Well, if he wanted to be melodramatic, two could play that game. "You know full well why I called you here, Adam." I thumped the stack of papers on my desk for emphasis. "You've been failing ECON 105 all semester, but suddenly you can score an 83% on the final exam? It's enough to get you D- in this class. It's not a perfect score, but it's still enough for you to avoid academic probation."
His face flashed with a brief moment of irritation before setting back into his normal, casual stupor. "Well, I wasn't studying before, and now I did. It's not like I scored all that great... sir."
"We both know that you don't know what 'sustainability' means, Adam. You tried to fly under the radar, you didn't cheat your way into a 100%... but it's still cheating. We both know that academic misconduct is a serious crime." I tried my best to sound stern and disappointed, but it was hard to be angry at a face this sexy.
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Adam just laughed at me. "And if you could prove it, you wouldn't be calling me into a private meeting, would you?" He leaned back into a shit-eating grin, displaying his dazzling white teeth. This asshole had the upper hand, and he knew it.
"I checked every single essay!" I said, pounding the stack of papers once again. "Every essay, in every single TA's session of this class. You didn't plagiarize... but we both know this isn't your style of writing. And we watched you like a hawk during the exam itself, so you didn't cheat that way, either."
Adam leaned close into my face. "Professor Michaels has no idea that you called me in here, does he? You're just a Teaching Assistant on a power trip, and it's all because you can't stand knowing how I did it." He was right, and I hated him for it. Worse, when he stood this close to me, I could smell the musk of his body.
"Tell you what," he added, pulling off his tank top to reveal a set of firm abs. "You let me get away with this... sign off on my scores, whatever you need to do... and I'll let you live out one of your deepest, darkest fantasies." He struck a pose, showing off both his rippling muscles and his hairy pits. "We both know that you'll never get jock cock any other way. Come on, Teach. You want this."
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Was I really that easy to read? "I-- I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Look, if you're going to stick to your lie about studying, then you can just leave. I don't... there's no need to insult my moral character. You're a student, Adam."
He responded by leaning in close to me, and placing his hand on top of my bulge. "Your body betrays you," he whispered, letting his fingers massage my inner thigh. "If it makes you feel better, I'm not your student. Adam and I swapped bodies so that I could take all of his final exams."
"I... yes, well..." That was the last thing I expected him to say, but it would explain a lot if it were true, somehow. It seemed much more likely than a desirable athlete like Adam coming onto me, at the very least.
"Be that as it may," I said, grabbing his hand and moving it away before my cock started leaking though my slacks, "that body still belongs to one of my students. And I still have meetings to attend today, so if we're done here..."
Adam, or the stranger in Adam's body, just laughed at me. "You're the one who wanted to have this meeting, remember? But that's fine, I know when I'm not wanted. But here's the thing-- once you submit grades at end of day, Adam's not your student anymore." He started typing something on his phone. "And honestly, I expected this from you. You're so uptight. Good thing you gave everyone your cell phone number on the syllabus at the start of the year. So if you change your mind... now you can have Adam's number, and a bonus pic from me."
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"I know you don't know the real me, but trust me Kevin-- I've wanted to plow that uptight hole of your for months. And in this body, I've actually got a shot at it." The stranger slapped my ass before I could react, and swaggered out of the room. Whoever was inside of Adam's body, they knew my first name.
I looked at the retreating wall of shoulder muscles, and down at the teasing bathroom selfie the stranger sent to me. God help me, I was only human. And he was right-- how else was I going to get jock cock? He wasn't a student, not really, and that's what mattered. "You win. Tonight at 8pm, my place. Bring lube."
Check out Part 2 here. Check out Part 3 here.
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tragedy-of-commons · 2 days
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hi gwen!! could i request a "i just wanted to hold your hand" dialogue prompt with dan heng, romantically for the 200 event? if you can't do it, it's alright! take your time with it if you can 💗
"I just wanted to hold your hand."
Are you hallucinating? Has every star in your immediate proximity exploded into a raging supernova yet? Has someone set off a gas bomb in the parlor car? Are you really lying half-dead in an infirmary somewhere, frothing at the mouth and dreaming up impossible scenarios?
Dan Heng's gaze flickers to the floor sheepishly, only for a moment, before he continues.
"That is why I have been, quote, 'staring at you like I want you dead'," he repeats your earlier remark, only meant to be a bit of harmless teasing. "I am not used to asking for... things like that."
No kidding. Ever since you began dating, nothing's really changed. You still sleep on the same pallet with the same guy in the same Astral Express archives. You still initiate all the physical contact (not like there's anything wrong with it being that way), and you definitely are the one to render him speechless - not the other way around!
"I--" you actually stutter, "you w-want to what?"
Delight erupts in your chest as he rushes to backpedal, in that constipated-but-endearing-Dan-Heng-way.
"Hold your hand. You are not obligated to," he elaborates quickly, cheeks and nose dusted with pink. "It's just a whim. You haven't been around as much lately."
That's true; you've been busy occupying Jarilo-VI while the rest of the crew has been traipsing about elsewhere. It's been an arduous separation (you cried after seeing a stray gray kitten in Rivet Town), but you didn't know it was affecting him this much. You frown.
"Don't," he warns, entirely willing.
"My love, my one and only!" you croon, giving him approximately one second to prepare before you launch yourself into his arms. On instinct, Dan Heng catches you, cradling your form with the utmost care - bespeaking any kind of declaration he could possibly make.
This is a lot more than he'd bargained for, you realize. You have to bite down your mad giggles so you can give him what he wants. Pulling back just a fraction, you fumble for his hand, stopping just shy of grazing his trembling fingers.
His admission echoes in your head - he wants to hold your hand. If you initiate, it'll be just like all the other times, just as nice... but not what he needs right now. Your top priority, though sometimes hard to tell, is to give Dan Heng exactly what he needs.
"Go on," you encourage, chin perched on his shoulder.
You feel the bob of his Adam's apple as he swallows and takes ahold of your hand successfully. You were right; it is just as nice, maybe even a little nicer. You can't hold back your laughter anymore, even as you press your face into his neck (where gooseflesh just happens to be breaking out).
"Does that feel okay?"
Hidden inside Dan Heng's sudden question, you're able to decipher the underlying message with ease: 'Am I doing this right?'
Of course, there is no right way to show love. But for a man like Dan Heng, who would rather sustain a spear to the gut than take anything at all from you, it makes sense he'd need something to go off of; a basis to fall back on when the tide sweeps him under.
"Yes," you murmur, "it feels perfect."
You don't see yourself as his life-preserver or anything. Your boyfriend is perfectly capable of taking care of himself and finding his footing in gray areas - more proficient than you are, probably. However, as sappy as it may be, you're proud and overjoyed that he stepped out of his comfort zone all the same.
Sometimes he won't allow you to be so supportive (and it breaks your heart every time), so any praise has to be concealed in a plethora of entendres and the gaps of your interlocked fingers - the only time Dan Heng favors such an indirect approach.
That's just fine with you.
Maneuvering just enough to allow it, you press a chaste kiss to his cheek. He sighs, tension melting from his shoulders.
"Okay," he nods, likely signaling that it's time for you to let go.
Respectfully, you take the hint, stepping back--
Then he kisses you.
His lips are chapped but warm, swallowing up your ensuing gasp. Seems like you were doubly wrong, because Dan Heng has surprised you more than he ever has in the brief window of two minutes. You're rendered speechless, alright, more than that - you feel your eyes sting as they close in tandem with his.
After the best silence of your life, he notices your tears, something like panic in that sweet, sometimes flat voice of his.
"I'm sorry, I--did I overstep?" like he'd been scorched, he pulls his hands back immediately, much to your displeasure. They only return when you positively beam, your smile shadowed by his thumb wiping away any perceived evidence of despair.
You admire his visage, marred with concern, confusion, and an ever-growing warmth. "No, never. I'm just really happy, okay? I'm so happy with you, Baobei."
...your predilection for the cheesiest pet names is concerning, you know, but he hasn't put a stop to it just yet (at least not in private).
He withdraws for real this time, eyes of crystal enchanting as always. And when you think he can't possibly surprise you anymore than he already has, he proves you wrong again.
"Then I am content. With you, I mean," he states, firm.
That's all you need, you decide, yanking Dan Heng into another embrace for round two.
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🏷️: @akutasoda, @aviiarie, @lowkeyren, @mikashisus
a/n: BELL... your brain is HUGE!! tysm for this prompt and all of your support. you're so fun to chill with and i'm glad ure my mutual :3 as for other notes, thanks seth for linking those chinese naming basics. if i used baobei incorrectly, please lmk!
event post here
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