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luxurychristmaspudding · 11 days

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Arizona | On Call

part i

summary: frankie has a question.

pairing: neighbour!frankie morales x f!reader

ratings/warnings: 18+, MDNI. dual pov. reader and frankie are both bi and have same sex exes. mostly fluff here, folks. and some (maybe a lot of?) angst. just a couple of buds chillin'. some talk of dead/absent parents.

reader is a teacher and has hair, but she is otherwise a blank slate.

wc: 5.1k

an: wow - i really did not expect this little guy to get the response it did yesterday. eternally grateful for your support and enthusiasm. i love you. hope y'all enjoy <3

dividers from the glorious @saradika-graphics

That taste All I ever needed All I ever wanted Too dumb to surrender

- arizona, kings of leon

series masterlist | main masterlist

It’s quiet in the house.

Golden, gooey sunlight pools on the living room floor, slanting through the windows. It’s warm against the arm he has resting on the edge of the sofa, not a chirp or a lawnmower whirring outside, and when Frankie closes his eyes, you’re the first thing he sees.

Evenings like this are the mirror of when your truck first rattled up the street and groaned to a halt outside your front door. He can see it now, within the darkness behind his eyelids, how he’d peeked from behind the curtains in Lucia’s stifling room, her small, sleeping body sprawled on the bed behind him. How the truck door had swung open, how your bare legs had emerged from the cool of the cab, how you’d hopped down onto the pavement and raised a hand to shield your eyes from the low-lying sun. You’d licked your teeth as you’d rechecked the address and looked up at the house - your house. Blown a deep breath out from your cheeks and then turned back to the truck to scrabble around for your keys.

Frankie had turned from the window as soon as you’d bent across the front seat, only glimpsing the bottom of the plush of your ass peeking from below your sweat shorts before he’d swept the curtain and the image aside.

He’d given it two minutes before he’d clattered out of his front door at the same time as you’d emerged from yours, raising a hand in greeting over the fence that separated your houses. You’d answered with a wide grin and a lilting hey, neighbour as he’d looped the boundary, holding out a palm for you to shake. I'm Frankie, he’d said, shooting a thumb over his shoulder at his open front door. From across the way. You’d given him your name in return, quirking an eyebrow as you asked whether he was feeling strong.

The truth is, that day Frankie would have been whatever you needed him to be. Immediately taken by your warm charm, your glinting smile - the mischief always just behind your eyes, the way you moved through your house. Even now, he cooks you dinner during exam season when you’re up to your eyeballs in papers, mows your lawn when he’s already cutting his own. Offers a shoulder to cry on when you’re missing your dad, always your best friend with spare beers when you’re free on a Saturday night - and you never fail to return the favour.

The way things are now, it’s like he can’t even remember what it was like to not have you next door. What it was like when he wasn’t launching your paper onto your porch, what it was like when you weren’t soaking him and Lucia with the hose over the fence as they launched water balloons at you from the other side, both your backyards filled with squeals and shouts of laughter. He’s so glad - so infinitely glad - that fate or whatever it was that had a hand in these things dropped you on the curb that evening a year ago. That he had grinned and laughed and said yes ma’am, that he had lept at the chance to be a good neighbour and started lifting the boxes from the truck bed, helped you set up your wifi, invited you in for a beer in his kitchen when you ordered food for the two of you as Lucia slept soundly upstairs.

He remembers being shocked at how easy it was. Easy conversation, easy laughter, easy silence. Easy friendship.

How he’d looked forward to seeing you across your lawns in the morning, calling out your greetings as you clambered into your truck and he fastened Lucia into her booster in his. The catch ups over the fence when you’d finished your days, recounting stories from the classroom or cockpit, Lucia chipping in her own from nursery. The delight in your eyes when they’d knocked on your door a couple of weekends after you’d moved in, arms laden with a tub of homemade cookies. How you’d invited them in, drinking coffee and juice, how easily you’d gotten on with Lucia. She’d adored you after that first afternoon spent together, falling asleep in your lap as you’d settled in front of the TV in low evening light. You and Frankie had talked long afterwards in lowered voices, you refusing to be relieved of his daughter’s tiny sleeping body, insisting you were just as comfortable as she was. The little girl only stirred when Frankie made you snort with laughter at something one of his friends had said.

Conversation had turned to friends, family. He told you about his brothers in arms, his mom and dad, Lucia’s mother. A woman who was jetting across the country as a flight attendant, an amicable breakup leading to easy co-parenting. You’d gladly told him about your friends, but hesitated before telling him of how your mom had disappeared from your life when you were little, how your dad had passed away a couple years back. He’d stretched an arm out, one hand settling on and squeezing your knee. Big palms warm and heavy, thick fingers gentle and understanding. When you’d followed the line of his arm up to meet his eyes again, crow's feet folded in their corners. Kindness, understanding. Someone who knew loss, too.

He asked about your dad, what he was like, and you’d regaled him with stories of growing up with ice-cream dates, summers you spent fishing on the local lake, how he’d carry you on his shoulders, his tight throat when he told you how proud he was of you at graduation.

He’d tentatively asked if your dad had been why you moved out here, understanding the need to put physical distance between yourself and the pain and memory of your surroundings.

No, you’d said, eyes glinting ruefully, this was because of a breakup.

Frankie hadn’t pushed for anymore after that.

You’d invited them over for dinner the weekend after, and Frankie had stood by your side in the kitchen, insisting on helping you cook, immovable despite the rag you whipped at him. As you chopped and fried, you'd told Lucia about stars and blackholes and plants and bugs. She was especially taken by bugs.

You’d dug out books you’d borrowed - and never returned - from the school library for her to pore over, even giving her a magnifying glass to use to hunt for critters in your backyard as you and Frankie had washed up afterwards. The three of you then spent an hour on your hands and knees on the grass as Lucia found worms and beetles and caterpillars, a soft smile on Frankie’s face as you shouldered her never-ending questions with all the grace of a bona-fide teacher.

Every night that week, Lucia had clamoured to go next door and see the bug lady again.

Frankie had had to explain that you were busy working (yes, even this late, mija), and then had to endure the tiny stomping of feet as Lucia explained to him - with all the levity a four-year-old could muster - that there just weren’t enough bugs in their garden; they had to see the bug lady.

Bug lady. The first nickname they’d christened you with. You’d laughed with a full chest when he told you, and assured him it would be a mantle you’d bear with honour. Bug lady. And then, with time and growing softness, it was shortened to bug, and it stuck.

Tonight, there is a different question to can we come over and look for bugs? that he needs to ask.

He thinks - knows - you’re the right person for it. Deep in his heart. Can count on one hand the number of people he’d entrust the safety of his daughter with, and all of them are too far away to call.

He needs a babysitter. And so far, he’s gotten nowhere fast with his inquiries.

The numbers he’s tried have been polite enough, more than good at their jobs. But they have clients already, families who came way before him that meant accommodating sitting at relatively short notice would be sporadic at best and impossible at worst.

And he’s running out of time.

His first late night flight is Thursday; some rich guy taking a date up into the skies to watch the view over the city. It��s good money, and he'd be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the sights, too. The glimmer of the city below, the ridges of the hills, flash of the ocean in the distance. The worlds and lives of so many people cradled in the bowl of the valley. It’s beautiful, humbling. It’s worth sharing.

You’d enjoy it, he knows. And every night flight reminds him of an evening not too long ago when he’d struck a deal with you, asking you to grab him a beer when you’d gotten up to go to the bathroom mid-movie. You’d wiggled your eyebrows at him, what’s in it for me?

He’d snorted at you, offering various services and items in exchange, all refused, but then before I’ll take you up in the heli if you - had even finished leaving his mouth, you’d leaped up from the sofa, grabbing his hand to shake on it before he could back out. At night. You’d specified, nodding, wide-eyed as though he’d been the one to say it.

He’d rolled his eyes at your eagerness, demanding you make sure it was an extra cold one for that, and you’d bowed in the doorway, smirking.

‘At your service, my liege,’ you’d said, before scampering out the way of the cushion Frankie launched at you.

He’d had to ask you to explain to Lucia why she shouldn’t call him my liege two days later, when it seemed she’d lost the meaning of Papi in an effort to be like you. You’d snorted into your soda when he told you, but had fixed Lucia with serious eyes when you told her that Papi was a very special name to call her dad, one that helped him feel loved and appreciated. Lucia had acquiesced quickly afterwards, stretching her arms out to Frankie before he lifted her from her chair, tucking her face into his neck as she apologised profusely, reassuring him that she still loved him the same, just that my liege had sounded so fun coming from your mouth. Frankie had looked over her curls at your bitten lip, your silent laughter, holding his own amusement behind his teeth as he stroked her back and cooed that he knew, mija, it’s okay.

He remembers, with a lurch below his navel, how Lucia had then asked whether you’d call him Papi to show him he was loved, too. How both your jaws had fallen slack, how something had flickered behind your eyes too quickly for him to catch before you’d told her you call him other things to the same effect. Fish, buddy, and then mouthed over the top of her head, asshole. Frankie had laughed, the jumping of his body pushing Lucia into her own giggles, and you’d soon followed.

It’s strange how much like a family you’ve become over the last year, how well you’ve slotted into their lives. One of his best friends, pulling up with the boys when it comes to ranking his favourite people. Filling gaps he didn’t even know were there, healing fissures he thought had closed. How well you fit in his arms, how well your head fits beneath his chin. How well your lips might fit with his, how well you -

A breath of laughter puffs from his nose, and he rolls his eyes at himself. He’s too old to have a crush, too old to be smiling to himself when he thinks of the girl next door, his best pal. Besides, he has a bad track record with dating friends, anyway.

He checks his watch, stills, listening for the sounds of a restless daughter. Satisfied, he pushes himself up from the orange-bathed haven of the couch with a grunt, pulls open the front door, and skips down the porch steps.

The stubble of the lawn is cool beneath his socks as he jogs across the grass, curving around the picket fence between your properties to pop back up on the other side, striding towards your house.

He takes the steps up your porch two at a time, rapping his knuckles against the sage green of your door. He waits no more than five seconds before he knocks again, earning an irritated alriiiiight from the other side.

The click of a lock, and it swings open to reveal you in shorts, a cap, and a worn cotton t-shirt - sun-warmed, soft, gorgeous.

You grin at the man on your doorstep, and he grins back.

‘Evenin’, teach.’

You click your tongue at the nickname.

‘Way past your bedtime, Morales,’ you tease, ‘You need a warm milk?’

Frankie flicks the back of his hand against the bill of your cap, giggling as it falls to the ground.

You smooth your hair, scrabbling for the hat, scowling at him.

‘Need a warm milk,’ he mocks, and you land a carefully curled fist against his bicep as you stand, deadening his arm. ‘Ow, pendeja,’ he pouts, rubbing at it. ‘You know, wearing a cap indoors still doesn’t make you cool.’

That pretty, playful little scowl flickers over your face again.

‘I just finished my study break, actually.’

‘Oh yeah? What are we studying today? A million ways teenagers make your life hard?’

The scowl is stolen by a bitten back smile, and you wave him off, turning on your heel down the hallway, tugging your cap back on.

‘Whaddya want? Pain in my ass,’ you call, walking away from him and back into your kitchen. He follows, drumming his fingers along your sideboard as he goes.

‘I need a favour, if you have any spare.’

Your kitchen is bathed in the same warm glow as his living room, but instead of quiet, there’s the slow turn and hum of your laundry machine in the closet, the sweet croon of a voice from the record player in the corner. Fruit in a bowl, bottles of gifted wine, pictures of friends, paintings from students. The jungle of houseplants you keep towards the patio doors, the jumble of papers, books, planners, and pens spread around your laptop on the table.

It’s so you. So like home.

You pick up the stem of your wine glass, half full, between your thumb and pointer finger, eyes turned up to the ceiling as you count on your other hand. You wince and suck your teeth, eyes falling back to his.

‘I dunno. ’S not looking good, Fish,’ you say somberly, ‘My favour quota’s already been exceeded this year.’

‘Baby, it’s March.’

You shrug.

‘Been busy.’

He raises an eyebrow at you, and you scoff.

‘Well, I guess I could make an exception for you, big guy.’

He smiles, leaning against the kitchen counter.

‘I need a babysitter.’

You nod, swallowing a mouthful of wine before placing the glass back on its coaster. Papers shift and whisper as you hunt for your phone, buried in the piles of essays.

‘Oh. Sure. I have some numbers -’

‘Actually - I was thinking -’

‘Now that’s dangerous for all of us.’

He points a finger at you, and you bite your lip, humour lighting your eyes.

‘Ha. Anyway. I was thinking - I know… I know you got that big car bill last month. And I know you don’t get paid enough. And you know Lucia loves you…’

You frown at him.

‘You want me to babysit?’

He bites his lip, looking over your table with clearer eyes. You’re busy. Always busy. Overworked and stressed. A heat crawls up his neck, early onset guilt.

Maybe this was a bad idea. He inhales deeply.

‘Yeah. But I’m starting to realise that might be a lot to ask.’

Hm.

He watches as you pull out a chair and sit at the table, studying him.

‘If it makes it any better, you’re my last resort.’

He’s relieved to hear a flutter of a giggle in response, and you clap your hand over your heart.

‘Ouch. There I was, thinking I meant more to you guys than that.’

He crosses his arms, shaking his head, smiling.

‘You know you do, bug.’

You take your cap off, throwing it away from you on the table, rubbing at your forehead.

‘I’ve got a lot of work to do, Frankie,’ you say softly, eyes gentle.

He sighs.

‘I know. You can say no. It’s just - all the numbers I’ve called are kind of booked up, that’s all. And I guess - I wanna leave her with someone I trust. Someone I know. At first, anyway.’

You stare at him still, thinking.

‘What are we talking?’

‘Once or twice a week. Three at the very most. Just for late night flights.’ He pauses. ‘I’ll pay you top dollar.’

You make a disapproving noise.

‘You don’t have to pay me, Frankie.’

‘Of course I do, don’t be ridiculous. It’s on your time. And if it helps you out…’

You frown at him, but he fixes you with a look. No negotiating. You turn your gaze out to your backyard.

He watches, nervous, as you chew your thumb.

Your eyes find his again.

‘Can I take work over? To do round yours?’

‘Absolutely.’

‘Do I have to cook?’

‘No. I’ll make sure there’s food. For both of you.’

You nod slowly.

‘And Luc is in bed by…?’

‘Six.’

You nod again.

‘I’m not expecting the whole nine yards,’ he says, shifting. ‘No cookies or playdough, nothing like that. Just someone to look after her. And I’ll still be making calls.’

‘When would you need me?’

Frankie’s mouth twitches.

‘Thursday this week. Tuesday and Friday next week.’

You take another drink of your wine.

‘Can I sleep on it?’

‘Of course, bug.’ He smiles. You return it.

‘Then I’ll sleep on it. I’ll see what the schedule’s like and let you know tomorrow.’

His smile widens.

‘Alright. Thank you. Really.’

You stand from your chair, holding up a palm.

‘I ain’t said yes yet, Morales.’

The smile turns goofy.

‘Yes, ma’am.’

He steps away from the counter and pulls you into his arms. Holds you there for a minute, rocking, enjoying the warmth, the closeness, your smell. Reminds himself that it’s weird to think about your scent as much as he does.

You untangle yourself from him, hands on his biceps where you give a little squeeze.

‘Alright,’ you say, ‘Off you go. See if the kid hasn’t burned the house down yet.’

He chuckles as he retreats, backing down your hallway to the open front door.

‘See you tomorrow, teach.’

‘Get lost, Francisco.’

You sign off by flipping each other the bird as he pulls the door shut behind him, just as you usually do.

And as he steps back into his still-quiet house, he tries to tamp down his grin and his fluttering heart, just as he usually does.

You text him two hours later, when he’s fresh from the shower, clad in only his boxers.

Alright, I slept on it. I’ll be round Thursday.

Along with the swell of relief in his chest, this time the grin and the flutter are much harder to smother.

The night before you left for college, you’d had a nightmare.

You weren’t the type to scare easily; eighteen years old and free from any of the real worries the world could bring. And you were so fucking excited for this next adventure, so ready to begin the rest of your life. Still, you’d found yourself doing something you hadn't done since you were a child.

You’d knocked first - softly, so softly. Waited for a come in that never came. Your dad had stirred anyway as you closed the door quietly behind you, turning, half asleep, to see you stood twisting your fingers in the middle of the carpet.

‘Y’alright, sweetheart?’ he’d asked, all gravelly and tender, threatening tears to spill over your lashline.

‘Yeah,’ you’d mumbled, ‘Just had a nightmare.’

He’d simply lifted the covers on the other side of the bed, and you’d slipped into their warmth, scooching into his side, breathing in his smell. He’d cradled you in his arms like you were still a kid - afraid, vulnerable - and you’d let him. Let the tears soak into his shirt. Felt his grip tighten on you, the kiss he pressed to the top of your head. The promise within it, within the cool moonlight bleeding through the curtains.

If you don’t wanna do it, all you gotta do is say.

He’d known you didn’t need to hear it, knew it was all you’d worked for, dreamed of. So instead, he’d murmured something else.

‘I’m so proud of you.’

You’d nodded into his chest, and he’d waited until the tears stopped falling before he asked if you wanted to talk about it. You hadn’t at first. But he’d always promised that talking about a dream broke it.

‘I dreamt you weren’t here.’

The vision had hung in the room for a moment, lapping against your dad’s quiet breathing.

‘I am. I’m right here, sweetheart.’

You’d nodded again, that deep, swooping panic of being completely alone in the world threatening to claw through your chest and sweep away his comfort. You couldn’t say anything else. Nothing about the empty house you’d seen, the dust sheets covering lonely chairs.

‘Always gonna be here. Can’t get rid of me.’

You’d both known he was wrong. That one day, this night would be a memory. That one day, you’d try to remember what it felt like to be held like this, known like this, try to remember the scent of his sleepshirt, and not be able to. But that would be years - decades - away. Tomorrow you start the beginning of your real, grownup life. Tomorrow, he’ll drive you across the state. He’ll haul your boxes up to your dorm room, and he’ll sit on your bed and look around and smile at you. The smile will be small, full of love, pride, grief. The grief of letting his little girl go, of looking at you and seeing you at all ages at once. Newborn, tiny in his big hands. On his shoulders, laughing at the sky. Nervous on your first day at school. Shy at the gate of highschool. Flying through the years, surrounded by friends, now landing here.

And when he stands to leave, to tear himself away, the tears will fall again. You’ll say you’re not sure, your whole world rocking, tilting. And he’ll tell you that you might not be, but he is. You’re gonna be great. You’ll be amazing. And his most favourite line of all.

A ship in a harbour is safe. But that’s not what ships were built for.

And you’ll laugh, and you’ll hug him, and you’ll wish you could for a little longer. But you’ll walk him downstairs all the same, out to his car. You’ll shield your eyes and wave until his license plate disappears, and then you’ll cry in the sun until you have a headache. By the time you’re out with your roommate that evening, you’ll feel better.

You won’t think about whether he cried on the way home, whether his body shook with sobs. Whether he’s sat in front of the TV now, unable to focus on the movie that’s playing because the house is too damn quiet. Won’t think about how, when he tries to sleep, he can still feel that little girl curled up into his side. How he contemplates his own mortality, hopes it won’t come for him for decades, hopes he’ll see you graduate, meet someone, be happy, achieve all you want to.

For now, there is only the blue moonlight, the deep breathing, the warm arms.

And four years later, your nightmare will come true.

You’re awake, though barely. Faintly aware of the wet on your cheeks, of the ache deep in your chest. The memory, the dream. You try to burrow your face into him, try to breathe in his scent, recall the way he talks. And as the same moonlight from the dream floods your vision, you remember.

Four years later, and the hurt is still as raw.

You curl into yourself, folding your arms around your body, holding it in, holding it together. Breathe through it - in through the nose, out through the mouth. I love you. I love you. Your voice and your father’s blending together. You try not to let it overwhelm you. Try not to recall all the moments, all the last moments. The hospitals, the treatments, how he wasted away before you, how you could do nothing about it. But it’s hard. So hard, alone, in the middle of the night like this.

When the burn in your throat eases, you reach for your phone. 3:32am. You unlock it out of habit, texts still open. The conversation you’d had with Frankie earlier - times, dates, what he’d make you for dinner.

You wish they could have met each other.

You’re sure Frankie would have loved him. Would have loved his laugh, would have shot the shit about baseball, would have clapped him on the back and joined him for beers on the porch like he does with you. And you’re sure your dad would have loved Frankie. Would have seen his kindness, his patience, his humour. A good man, just like he was.

Sometimes, when the younger man leaves your kitchen, your dad appears, sat at the table across from you.

‘You like him.’ He says.

‘Come off it, dad,’ like you don’t both know you’re lying. He gives that knowing little shrug.

‘Whatever, kid,’ he says, ‘I see the way you look at him. Like you looked at - who was it - Jordan, in seventh grade?’ You always throw something at him then. A marker, a highlighter. And he always laughs at you.

You click your phone screen off, bathed in half-darkness once again. Stare at the frozen ceiling fan, the divots and shadows on the ceiling. Tired, but too awake to sleep.

You grumble as you swing your legs out from the covers, standing from the bed. Pad downstairs in the dark, flick on the kitchen light, fill the kettle and set it to boil. Through the window, across the way, Frankie’s kitchen light is also on. Your brow furrows - this isn’t a time either of you should be awake - but then he appears in the window, shirtless, busying himself with something by the sink, and you quickly avert your eyes. Something you’ve gotten good at doing since you moved here.

Good at desperately trying not to notice his soft curls, the way his biceps stretch his t-shirts, the way his shoulders fill doorways, the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles at you. The way he says your name, the golden skin you’ve glimpsed, the noises he might make -

You roll your eyes at yourself. Crashing out of an engagement, skipping town and developing a crush on the DILF next door is so… you.

Annie would have gotten a kick out of it, that’s for sure.

The kettle finishes its boil, and you reach for a mug, a tea bag. Watch the tendrils of steam curl from the clutch of the ceramic as you brace your hands on the marble either side of it. You chew the inside of your cheek, head hanging between your shoulders, startling when your phone buzzes, furious-sounding as it crawls across the countertop.

You know who it is before you see the caller ID.

‘Hey, neighbour.’

‘Hey, bug.’

You smile into the receiver, holding the mobile to your ear as you move to the sink, adding cold water to the tea. You look up through the window to find Frankie also stood before his, looking back at you. Mercifully, he’s found a shirt, but his bed head still has your stomach turning in cartwheels.

‘What’s up?’

‘Saw your light on. Wanted to check you’re okay.’

You hold up your mug, cheersing him through the glass.

‘I’m good. Just having a little drink.’

You watch as he cocks his hip against the counter.

‘Yeah? What kinda drink you got?’

You exhale through your nose, rolling your eyes.

‘Chamomile.’

There’s a beat, and then his voice is soft, tender.

‘Y’had a nightmare, too?’

You shake your head.

‘Not a nightmare, just a dream.’

‘Dad?’

You nod, sipping.

‘Yeah. You know how it is. Lucia okay?’

You watch him flick his gaze to the hallway, the stairs beyond your line of sight. Hear the scratch of his whiskers as he rubs at his beard.

‘She’s alright. Nothing a warm milk and her night light can’t fix.’

You smile at him.

‘You remind me of him, you know.’

Frankie pauses his scratching, peering out at you, surprised.

‘You’re a good dad. The best. He was, too.’

Your voice is low, affectionate. Something pulls deep in his gut, something that forces a tight bubble up his throat. He swallows a couple of times, closing his eyes to the kindness.

‘Thank you, bug.’

‘I mean it.’

He nods, voice crackly and deep when it comes to you.

‘I know.’

You watch each other a moment longer, separate rooms, separate houses, such closeness bridging those gaps. Frankie breaks the quiet.

‘You sure you’re okay?’

You smile, nod, sip.

‘I’m sure. Should head back to bed, anyway.’

Frankie hums down the line, thoughtful. A breath whistles through his nose.

‘G’night, bug.’

‘Good night, Fish.’

You wait for the beep of the disconnected line, Frankie’s wave through the window. The hard lump in your throat as you watch him retreat to the doorway of his kitchen, the darkness that stares back at you, the ache of being alone again on this moon of grief.

And something quieter, more selfish. Creeping and tidal that laps at the edges, a want for a man you have convinced yourself you cannot have. A sadness that buzzes deep in your skin, curls back layers of your being, tells you that you cannot afford to be broken again. Not like your dad. Not like Annie.

But you like him, your dad says. What’s so wrong with that?

You cocoon yourself tightly in your duvet, your back to the moonlight, the reminders. Tired eyes blinking at the door. Waiting. Waiting, in a different life, different house, different state, for eighteen year old you to tiptoe in and tell you about her nightmare.

Waiting for you to tell her that her dad is right there.

That she should hold him a little longer before he drives home tomorrow.

#frankie morales #francisco catfish morales #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you #francisco morales #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction

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hyperfixatedbastard · 3 months

Note

do you write hypnosis stuff?? it's not specifically against the rules but idk it's kind of an iffy era for a lot of writers-

if it's okay with you, could you write some Vox x Singer!Reader who he uses his mind control on to sell their soul to him so they remain under the VoxTek label? (im sure remaining with him is an ulterior motive of his as well lol)

thanks :]

I can absolutely do that! I’m a little iffy about NSFW hypnosis, but I can do a SFW oneshot :)

siren songs

Obsessed!Vox x Singer!GN!Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

WARNINGS: Yandere-ish behavior, hypnosis, manipulation, toxic behavior, all that good stuff

A/N: I told y'all I'd be back with some toxic Vox!! I wasn't entirely sure how to end this one, but I've spent enough time rewriting it to stop caring. This one is only romantic in theory - nothing actually romantic happens between Vox and Reader, it's more mutual pining than anything else This is also my first time writing obsessive behavior, so I hope I did it well!

Dividers

You’ve been working with the Vees for years now. You were originally recruited by Velvette, who’s like a bloodhound for new talent. She saw some popular videos of your singing online, and she made you famous.

But you don’t work with her that much, oddly enough. Over time, you gradually started to see her less and less. Vox was the one to take her place. By the time you noticed, there wasn’t much you could do about it—you’re certainly not an equal to the Vees, so there wasn’t much you could do. Sure, you could’ve quit then and there, as you’d never signed a soul-binding contract, but you really liked your job. You were getting to do what you loved for a living! Who wouldn’t want that?

Well, you. You don’t want that anymore. You’re getting burnt out. You feel like you’re out of creativity for writing songs, and singing no longer has the same appeal it used to. It feels like a chore. Getting on stage doesn’t get you excited—it just fills you with dread.

Then you saw the videos of the annual clown pageant down in the Greed Ring. How Fizzarolli, Mammon’s favorite little jester, just…quit. Just like that.

Can you do that?

You don’t have backup like Fizzarolli did. There’s no Prince of Hell to protect you if the Vees lash out in response to your resignation. But the Vees aren’t Mammon. They’re powerful Overlords, sure, but they wouldn’t kill off an easy cash grab like you. And they don’t have any leverage to use against you—you’re a fucking superstar, you learned to stop keeping secrets a long time ago.

Yeah, you can totally do this!

You spend the next week making a plan. You currently live in V Tower, so finding another living arrangement is a priority. Luckily, your standards are just as low as before you got famous, so snatching up an apartment doesn’t take long. You’ve been building up savings for some time now, just little bits here and there that wouldn’t look suspicious among your bank withdrawls, so you have enough money to last you a while. You’ve made a go-bag, but you’re not too worried about bringing anything with you, as you have enough cash to just buy new shit. By the time the end of the week comes around, you’ve got your escape plan ready to go. All that’s left is to actually quit.

You decide that directly speaking to Vox is your best option. Velvette and you don’t have the same rapport that you used to, and Valentino is just… no. During your time working with Vox, you like to think there’s some sort of friendship there. The two of you chat amicably, and he always makes sure you’re okay when it comes to creepy fans and the like. You feel like there could be something more than just friendship, but you don’t plan on staying long enough to find out. As much as you like Vox, you’re not willing to spend the rest of your afterlife hating every second of your job just for him.

You stand outside Vox’s lair, mentally preparing yourself for this conversation. You take a deep breath, and right before you can knock on the door, it opens.

Okay, here goes.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

You aren’t as sneaky as you seem to think you are.

A normal boss wouldn’t have noticed the small transactions in your bank account, or the little trips you’ve been taking to go look at apartments. But Vox isn’t a ‘normal boss’ by any means. And he noticed.

From the moment Vox set eyes on you, he knew he wanted you. You’re beautiful, and fuck, your voice—he just can’t get you out of his damn head, no matter how hard he tries. And he really fucking tried. But he couldn’t avoid you, thanks to VoxTek being such an integral part of your performances. And you’re like a damn siren with that voice of yours, even though he’s supposed to be the hypnotizing one here. Eventually, he just gave in and accepted that he was more than a little obsessed with you. That’s why he started drawing you closer to him, pushing away Velvette and taking control of your brand. He doesn’t like sharing.

Obsession isn’t a particularly new feeling for Vox. He certainly has… tendencies. But this isn’t like whatever the fuck he’s got going on with that deer-headed, old-timey bastard Alastor. It’s not a lust thing, either. You’re certainly attractive, and Vox most definitely would sleep with you, but that’s not the main factor at play here. This is a deeper obsession than any of that bullshit.

Vox knows that he doesn’t own your soul. He’s well aware that he can’t truly stop you from quitting. Even if he managed to trap you inside V Tower, he can’t force you to keep up the performances. If he had you under a proper soul-binding contract, though…

He would own you.

Now, he’s not Valentino. He doesn’t plan to take that kind of advantage over you. He doesn’t want to change a damn thing. He just wants you to stay.

And he will make you stay.

He knows when you approach his office, and he opens the doors with the touch of a button on his desk. He plasters that casually perfect smile on his screen and turns to face you as you enter. The doors shut behind you.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you today, my dear,” he lies easily, the charismatic mask fitting into place like it was never absent in the first place. “How can I help you?”

You hesitate, your anxiety starting to get to you. But you’re determined to do this. You clear your throat and step forward. “I’m resigning.”

Vox’s smile doesn’t falter, nor does his screen glitch. His demeanor is…unnerving, to say the least. You’ve known him to be temperamental, emotional. You expected some kind of reaction. But he’s just smirking at you like he always does.

“I don’t suppose there’s anything I can do to change your mind,” he replies smoothly, tilting his head to the side just slightly.

“No,” you confirm, trying to sound confident in your answer. You’re not sure if you succeed. “I’ve already made my decision.”

Vox sighs, though he doesn’t sound very defeated. His smirk hasn’t gone away, either. “Well, then. It’s been a pleasure working with you, darling.”

He holds his hand out for you to shake. The gesture immediately worries you, as it’s the well-known sign of a deal. But you reassure yourself that there’s no deal being made here. Hell may be chaotic, but there’s rules when it comes to these kinds of things. Neither of you have offered anything, therefore there’s no harm in shaking his hand. It’s just a respectful gesture of a boss wishing their employee farewell. It all feels too easy, but you’re too relieved to think too hard about it.

You go to take his hand, but as you lift your head up to meet his gaze, everything goes fuzzy.

Vox grabs you by your wrist before you can shake his hand. He’s not rough with you. He’s careful of his claws, ensuring they don’t put too much pressure on your skin. Not that you’d notice, either way—your mind is far gone at this point, thanks to those spirals in his eye.

“In exchange for your soul, you’ll remain under the VoxTek label and continue working for me. Your work will remain the same as before. You’ll forget about leaving. You will want to stay here. You will want to stay here with me.”

A golden scroll appears out of thin air, and it floats in front of you as it unfurls. “Sign it.”

Your body moves on its own. You sign your name on the line at the bottom of the page.

Vox releases your wrist, and takes your hand in his own as his eye reverts back to its normal state. When you come to just moments later, he’s shaking your hand with calm professionality.

“I’m glad we got that sorted out,” Vox remarks smoothly, his smirk looking almost proud now. “I look forward to your next performance, my dear.”

You blink a few times as you become more lucid and aware. “Uh, yeah. Can’t wait!”

You smile, and Vox releases your hand, seemingly satisfied with your answer. You don’t remember what exactly you came in here for, but you’re happy with the outcome. “Perfect.”

#hazbin hotel #vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel vox x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #vox x you #hazbin vox #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin vox x reader #the vees #gender neutral reader

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here2bbtstrash · 2 years

Text

the shape of your body (explicit)

genre: fluffy slowburn smut

pairing: jimin x reader

summary: the same day you finally manage to speak to your months-long public transit crush, you end up seeing much more of him than you bargained for.

word count: 24k 🙇‍♀️

contains: explicit sexual content~*~ (after a slow burn lmao) - new york city grad school AU, strangers to lovers, reader is an art student, public transit thirsting, jimin is a dancer and a nude model, namgi and vhope as side characters, basically everyone is gay (they're ART STUDENTS in NEW YORK CITY it's called realism 💅), a smidge of member x member side character relationships, jimin is biromantic demisexual 👀, conversations about body image issues/past relationship struggles/demisexuality and libido, soooo much making out, a couple "failed attempts" at sex, accidental voyeurism (but not how you think lmao YOU'LL SEE), showering together non-sexually, and: fingering, clit stim, nipple play, come eating/sharing 🤭 an attempted blowjob, face sitting, & protected sex (multiple rounds 🥵)

A/N: asjdshgkdfjgs i can't believe it's done 😭 there were so many times i thought i would never finish this fic !!! i have too many friends to thank for talking me off of SEVERAL ledges where i was convinced this whole thing was trash and that i should just stick to short porn or perhaps simply never write again. i'm so glad i saw this one through because there are concepts in here that are deeply important and personal to me wehhh 🫠 i sincerely hope y'all enjoy this one!! thank u for enduring mostly radio silence while i was in jimin lockdown, and of course, happy early birthday to mini, the light of my mf life 🥰💜 (oh and LDOMLT ch 8 is coming next so buckle tf up bitches 👀)

an eternity of smooches to @haliiimede for beta reading and just generally being the best fucking person on planet earth ✨ AND TO @goodsoop FOR THE DEMI SENSITIVITY READ VERY SORRY THAT I AM THE WORLD'S LARGEST IDIOT AND FORGOT TO CREDIT..... i love you both 🥺

read on AO3!

~*~

You’ve taken the subway thousands of times since moving to New York.

Morning rides, squeezed nearly to death between commuters in suits blinking back sleep and school-uniformed kids scream-laughing and paper coffee cups gripped tight by winter-numb fingers.

Long trips with your sketchbook on your lap, riding the line all the way to Pelham Bay Park and back, to surface above ground out where there’s a little more space to breathe, until the setting sun floods orange glow between the buildings just before you descend again.

Late nights coming home, Namjoon’s head thudding back against the train window behind him as he dozes off, one arm thrown around your shoulder to ward off any drunk creeps, his free hand interlaced with Yoongi’s on his other side.

It’s always been the three of you, first in friendship, and now that the two of them have figured out they’re something more, you don’t mind it. But when it’s late and you’ve had enough drinks to feel warm all the way through, to melt something open inside of you, and you glance over to see a loving flicker of eyelashes exchanged as Namjoon leans down and presses a kiss to Yoongi’s temple, you can’t help it.

There’s a little bit of an ache there, right behind your ribs. Sometimes.

But mostly, when it comes to the train, you take the 6 to school. You go through the motions this morning the same as you always do: headphones around your neck, bag slung over your shoulder, immediately dropping into the first empty seat you see as the train doors shudder closed and the car starts to move. Six stops down, 51st street to Astor Place, five days a week, you know it like a heartbeat.

You just wish you knew him, too.

Subway Boy, as Yoongi affectionately labeled him the time you got two pitchers of margaritas deep and made the mistake of confessing to your roommates about your crush— if it can even be called that. Can you truly have a crush on someone you know nothing about, not even their name?

Well, you know a few things.

He must live further north than you, because on the days you see him, he’s already on the train when you board at 51st.

He must like music, because he always has a set of fancy bluetooth earbuds in.

You’re pretty sure he’s an athlete of some sort, because he’s usually carrying a gym bag—and because during this summer’s heat wave, the one and only time you’ve seen him wear shorts, you nearly fainted at the thick, defined muscles of his thighs.

He has an affinity for jewelry, delicate silver always glinting through the multiple piercings in his ears. At odds with this, he seems to prefer to dress comfortably, and you’ve seen him in enough branded school t-shirts and sweats to figure he must also be an NYU student, though you can’t say for sure if he’s undergrad or graduate.

You deeply hope you’re not crushing on someone who still needs a fake ID to drink, but there’s no way to be certain.

Most importantly, you know that he is absolutely stunning. Elegantly handsome, with expressive deep brown eyes, skin like glass, and round cheeks and full lips that flush frozen pink on particularly frigid New York days. His hair has changed colors a few times over the months that have passed since you first took notice of him, but it’s currently a honey blonde, and long enough that he often reaches up to card a hand through it. He does it now, pushing loose strands back to expose his forehead as he frowns down at his phone.

On days where you share the same car, you notice very little else that happens on the ride, thoroughly entranced in Subway Boy’s beauty and his mystery. The train could probably catch fire and you’d miss it entirely.

Today happens to be one of those days, and excitement glitters in your bloodstream as you realize he’s seated across from you. The rush of seeing him always feels like its own reward, some kind of cosmic sign that the day is going to be a good one.

And then the train stops moving.

There’s an audible reaction from a few people in the car, and you glance up a moment later when a voice buzzes over the intercom. You’re able to make out “attention passengers” and very little after that, just the basics about some sort of unforeseen interruption of service and that the train should resume moving again soon.

You sigh, knowing very well that the MTA’s definition of ‘soon’ does not often align with typical human expectations. Figuring you’ve got some time to kill, you reach into your bag to retrieve your sketchbook and the first pencil you can dig out of the bottom.

“What did they say?” A voice, quiet and deep, surprises you before you can even flip to your in-progress page.

You glance up to find Subway Boy staring at you, forearms braced on his knees as he leans forward into the gap between his seat and yours. He’s got one bluetooth earbud pinched between his fingertips and a confused look on his face, having clearly missed the announcement.

Heat floods your face at the feeling of his eyes fixed on you, and it takes you a second to form a response. “Uh— I didn’t get most of it. Something about unforeseen interruption. And that we’ll be moving again soon.”

A muscle works in his jaw as he rolls his eyes. “Typical.”

“I don’t think they know what ‘soon’ means,” you murmur, mostly to yourself as you tear your gaze away from Subway Boy and return to the sketchbook in your lap, rifling through to find your latest half-finished drawing. When you hear him huff a laugh, you have to bite down on the hopeful smile that threatens to shine across your face.

“Definitely not.”

You force yourself to keep your eyes on the page, assuming Subway Boy must go back to his music when he falls silent after his last comment.

With featherlight flicks of your pencil, you start to add a little depth to the quick study you were working on last night, Yoongi’s half-peeled tangerine that he left abandoned on the coffee table when he stepped out onto the fire escape for a smoke.

Subway Boy’s voice catches you off guard a second time. “Are you drawing?”

You bite down on your lip again, a nervous habit, and you nod as you tilt the page so he can see from across the car.

“Wow.” You wonder if you’re imagining the way his voice seems to soften a little. “You’re really good. Are you an artist?”

You can’t help it— your gaze flits up to meet his again. It’s nearly overwhelming to lock eyes with your Subway Boy and hear him compliment you, like something out of a wild daydream. “I guess so,” you remark, the corner of your mouth tugging up into a small smile as you say it. “I’ve certainly paid NYU enough money in my attempts to become one.”

“Know the feeling,” he scoffs, but his eyes smile back, pulled into crescent moons.

“What did you pay them for?”

“Currently, a dual MFA/MA in dance and… teaching dance. Really went all-in on the dancer thing.”

“Oh.” Your eyes widen automatically. You’ve wondered— and yes, occasionally drunkenly speculated with your roommates— what Subway Boy’s line of work might be, but you have no idea why dancer never occurred to you. Because now all the pieces suddenly fall together in front of you: the toned muscles that flex beneath the sleeves of his t-shirt, the natural grace he exudes, not to mention his perfect posture.

Of course he’s a dancer. It makes perfect sense.

It occurs to you, a beat too late, that a wide-eyed ‘oh’ is not the most normal response to a truly innocuous answer to a question asked of a random stranger.

But the smile in his eyes doesn’t falter. “I feel like I see you on this train a lot.”

Your stomach flutters like butterfly wings, and you have to look away, back down to the safety of your sketchbook. “Really?”

There’s an extra pause before he speaks again. “Man, sorry. Think I misread that. Now I feel creepy. I promise I’ve only noticed you a normal amount.” Your eyes snap back up to find him wincing slightly, one hand rubbing at the back of his neck.

“No, no, I’m— it’s not—” you stammer, trying to recover. “I, uh— me too, I have too. Noticed you. A normal amount. I… I don’t know why I just pretended like I didn’t.”

Subway Boy leans forward, head dropping down with a genuine laugh that shakes his shoulders, and you can’t help but laugh too, out of sheer embarrassment. He’s beaming when he rights himself again, and it sends a thrill buzzing through you, all the way down to your fingertips still clutched tight to your pencil.

“That makes me feel better,” he admits. “At least we’re both creepy.”

As if the universe itself is intervening to save you from any further humiliation, the train shudders back to life and begins to move again. The sigh you breathe is a strange mixture of relief and disappointment.

“That’s definitely a new record,” you say shyly as you move to shove your things back in your bag. “Maybe the MTA actually looked up what ‘soon’ means.”

His focus is tracked over your shoulder when you look up again, and his eyes dance left to right to chase the patterns in the subway tile as you pull into the next station.

“Guess it’s a miracle,” he says softly, not making eye contact.

“Must be,” you murmur back, letting your gaze drop to the floor, unable to hide your smile now.

He doesn’t say anything else, and neither do you, but the warm flush stays in your face for the rest of the ride. When the train pulls into the Astor Place station, you and Subway Boy get to your feet simultaneously, so quickly that your bags knock together as you pull them over your shoulders.

“Sorry,” you say in unison, immediately sharing an exhaled laugh at the synchronicity of the moment.

The doors slide open and he gestures for you to go first before following after. It’s a surprise— he’s never gotten off at Astor before, and when he doesn’t take the option of heading in another direction but instead falls into lockstep next to you, you seize the opportunity.

“Astor Place today, huh?” You hope the observation still falls into the category of ‘noticing a normal amount’.

“Yeah, first day of a new gig. What about you? Class?”

You nod. ��Pretty standard stuff. But we start a new unit today, so that’s fun.”

“You in grad school too?”

“Yup, MFA in studio art.” You can’t help but tease, just a little. “Only one master’s degree for me, I’m such a slacker.”

His eyes squint again as he smiles. “Hey, I’m just glad you’re not, like, eighteen.”

“I thought that too!” You keep talking before you can stop yourself. “I mean, when I was… noticing. I distinctly remember thinking, like, please let me not be thirsting over a straight-up child right now.”

“Ahh...” Subway Boy trails off, and you can see a faint pink starting to blossom in the apples of his cheeks. “You were thirsting?”

You can’t help but scrunch your nose up slightly, resisting the urge to full-body cringe at your own stupid mouth. “We are now officially both creepy.”

He fidgets a little with the strap of the dance bag slung over his shoulder. “Hopefully I’m living up to the hype.”

You’re grateful to reach the art building before you can dig your grave any deeper. You nod your head in the direction of the glass doors as you slow to a stop, and he does, too. “This is me.”

“It’s actually me, too,” he remarks, glancing up at the building as if to double-check. “But I have a little bit, so I’m gonna grab a coffee I think. But it was nice to finally talk to you. Not that— sorry, that was weird. Take out the finally. It was good to talk. Meet a fellow starving artist and all.”

You worry your bottom lip between your teeth for a moment, until you finally work up the courage to ask the question. “Do you have a name?”

“Oh!” His eyes widen, more heat-blush coloring his face. “Yeah. Park Jimin. Probably could’ve led with that.”

You give him your name, and his voice is like music when he repeats it back.

“Well, good luck in class,” Jimin says with a nod. “And hopefully I’ll see you around sometime.” A smile toys at the corner of his mouth, and then he pauses as his words seem to catch up to him. “Well, I mean. I guess I know I will. On the— train— yeah, I’m gonna go before I say any more stupid things.”

“Bye Jimin,” you giggle, and he gives a shy departing wave before he spins on his heel. As he walks away, you can’t help but notice the way he drops his gaze and shakes his head, like he’s thoroughly embarrassed by his social performance.

And just like that, Subway Boy has a name— one that loops in your head as you float to class, barely feeling your feet touch the floor. Park Jimin. It’s sweet like him, warm sunshine in your veins as you shoulder open the door to the studio, grab a seat, and start to get set up.

A voice nearly makes you jump out of your skin as Kim Taehyung leans in, having occupied the seat next to you while you were off in la-la land. “Know what the new unit is?” You start to shake your head, then realize it was a rhetorical question when he waggles his eyebrows and continues. “Life drawing. Ready for some naked people?”

You roll your eyes and grab at the strings of his gray beanie, pulling it down over his fluffy hair and eyes in one swift tug. “Bro, we are literally in grad school. Stop acting like a virgin.”

“Like you weren’t thinking it too,” he grumbles to himself as he shoves the hat back up his forehead.

You shoot him a look as your professor signals the class to settle and launches in. It’s the same routine as each unit you’ve rotated through in your graduate studio, so you only half-listen, mostly distracted by Taehyung tearing open the paper wrapper of a red heart-shaped lollipop and popping it into his mouth. His latest oral fixation in his millionth attempt to quit vaping.

You lean down to dig into your bag, trying to ignore the sound of hard candy clacking against teeth as you fish out both pencils and charcoal to give yourself options. You pull a couple of each out of their cases, glancing up in an attempt to refocus on the professor, who is still talking.

It takes a second for your brain to process the image in front of you. His shy smile has been replaced with a serious, professional expression, but there’s no questioning the familiar face, the posture, the silver jewelry, the way he reaches up to run a hand through his hair. Subway Boy Park Jimin is standing in the center of the room, wearing a short black satin dressing gown.

Your jaw goes slack. It feels like it happens in slow motion as you watch Jimin’s strong hands move down to undo the sash at his waist before he shrugs off the flimsy fabric and lets it fall to the floor. And then he’s not wearing anything at all.

You lose your grip entirely on your handful of pencils, and they hit the studio floor with a clatter that certainly feels deafening, each one choosing to roll off in a different direction.

Taehyung glances over at you, brow slightly creased. The lollipop tucked in his cheek impedes his speech slightly, but not enough that you can’t understand him. “Now who’s the virgin?”

You crouch down, praying that maybe you can gather your things unnoticed, but it already feels like every pair of eyes in the room is burning a hole in your back. To his credit, Taehyung at least helps a little, extending a sandaled foot to kick any pencils he can reach over towards you. You scramble around the room to chase after the rest, and you can’t bear to look up and see if Jimin is watching you or not. You’re not sure which would be worse.

Fighting the urge to army crawl out of the room, you grip both hands tightly around your materials as you return to your seat, then tuck everything into the tray of the easel in front of you. You’re a professional, you tell yourself. It’s not like it’s your first time drawing someone nude.

It’s just your first time doing it when you happen to have a crush on them.

But it’s fine. You let out an exhale to ground yourself, then pick up a pencil. It’s just a body.

You vaguely recall hearing your professor explain that you’d be moving through ten quick-sketch poses to begin with, each held for only a few minutes, before switching to a few longer sessions for the rest of class. As you were too busy chasing your pencils around the room, you’ve missed the first pose entirely, and you have to work quickly to get a very rough outline of the second before Jimin moves again at the professor’s instruction.

He switches so fluidly from one pose to the next, and you have so little time, it’s enough to get you out of your head just trying to keep up. You find yourself falling comfortably into a flow state, focused on little more than lines and shapes in front of you and the act of reproducing them on your page. It’s an exercise you know well, and the repetition of it soothes you.

The studio is quiet, save for the scratching of pencils on paper and the soft classical music your professor has switched on.

By the time you finish sketching the tenth pose, it feels like you can breathe a little easier, and your professor offers Jimin a quick break just as you lean back to admire your work. You do your best to quickly duck behind your easel as he stretches, then reaches for a bottle of water set on a nearby table.

Taehyung removes his sheet of sketches and sets it aside before leaning in, pressing his face against his easel to match yours. “He’s cute. Bet he gets like, infinite ass-pussy. Just the absolute most.”

“Shut up, Tae!” You jerk your foot out to kick the leg of his chair, and a boxy grin stretches over his face as he giggles. You stare daggers back. “You’re too damn horny today. Like you didn’t just get your ass eaten in the supply closet last week.” The rumor had spread through your cohort practically overnight— probably started by Taehyung himself.

The menace in question shoots you an over-exaggerated wink. “And I’d do it again, too.”

You roll your eyes. “Nasty.”

The professor claps to get everyone’s attention again, and you peer around your easel to watch as Jimin resumes his place at the center of the room. You settle in for the first of a few longer, more detailed sketches, trying desperately to keep your cool about it. But Jimin is unquestionably gorgeous.

He turns to the side for the first pose, arms wrapped around his muscular torso and eyes downcast, fingertips and thumb resting over his neck and chin as if to cradle his own face in his hand. After a long stretch of time where you manage to get most of a sketch done, the professor cues him to move into a second pose, and he faces the back wall, reaching up to drape his arms over each other, crossed wrists resting delicately on the crown of his head.

You could easily see him as a statue carved out of marble, and you try to ignore the flutter of your heartbeat as you attempt to translate his beauty onto your page each time. You have to hold in several sighs as you work on outlining the strong, toned muscles of his back and thighs— not to mention his perky ass. You can’t help but wonder if the rest of the class is struggling silently, too.

You’re beginning to think you might survive after all when the professor asks Jimin to move again and he does, shaking his body out slightly before reaching to grab a provided stool and shift it to the center of the room. He takes a seat, abdominals flexing as he leans back on his hands and unabashedly lets his legs fall open.

Fuck. You nearly snap your pencil in half.

You try desperately to keep it together as you start your third sketch with unsteady hands. The minutes tick by, and you aren’t aware of Taehyung’s eyes on your paper until you hear his stupid whisper again. “Why aren’t you drawing his dick?”

He’s not wrong. There is a noticeable blank spot at the center of your page. “I’m getting there,” you huff. “Worry about your own sketch, Tae.”

“Girl, you are literally doing detail shading on his legs and he doesn’t even have a penis. What is he, a Ken doll?”

You grit your teeth and refuse to dignify Taehyung with a response. Fine. You can do this, you tell yourself. Don’t think. Just look and draw. It’s not a big deal.

With a hard swallow, you trace your eyes down his body, and… well, you don’t know what you were expecting. It’s just a soft penis resting limp between his legs, framed by an extremely regular pair of balls. Nothing scary, though you can’t quite will the heat back out of your face, can’t manage to silence the recurring thought that makes your stomach drop— it’s cute.

You resist the urge to smack your head against your easel as you finally fill in your sketch’s dick.

You somehow manage to survive the rest of class, but relief still floods your veins when your professor signals for everyone to wrap up what they’re doing for the day. Jimin starts to come alive again from the fixed pose, tilting his head to one side until something cracks audibly in his neck. You tear your gaze away for fear that his eyes might find yours, and shove everything into your bag as quickly as you can, not even caring what ends up where.

“Where’s the fire?” Taehyung questions beside you, but you ignore him.

You zip your bag up and sling it over your shoulder, then make a beeline for the exit, keeping your eyes fixed firmly on the floor. It’s only once the studio door swings shut behind you that you feel like you can breathe again, and you have to keep yourself from outright sprinting to your next class.

~*~

The rest of the day rushes by in an overwhelming blur, your focus entirely shot by the events of the morning. You collapse into a seat on your train home, hugging your bag to your chest, thankful for the first time in your life to not be sharing a subway car with Park Jimin.

When you turn your keys in the lock and stumble in the front door of the apartment, the divine smell of what could only be Yoongi’s cooking immediately hits you full-force. You find him in the kitchen with a towel thrown over his shoulder, searing a large steak in a cast iron pan for what must be a planned date night with Namjoon.

You wrap your arms around his tiny waist from behind as you approach. He responds with his usual greeting: a soft grunt of mild discomfort.

“Can I ask you a question?” you ask, trying to sound as sweet as possible.

“You just did,” Yoongi notes.

You decide to let his sass go, since you really do need help. “Two more?” Yoongi hums, somewhat affirmative, and you continue. “I know you work like 47 jobs and never get any time off—“

“Some of us have to pay rent without the luxury of stipends or rich parents, yes—“

“But is there any way I could… maybe possibly encroach upon your date night just this once? It’s an emergency. I need advice.”

Yoongi sighs, and you shift to peek over his shoulder, arms still wrapped around him as you watch the way he tilts the pan to one side, collecting butter on a spoon to baste over the steak as it cooks. You squish your cheek into his bicep.

“Lucky for you,” he begins, his tone relenting, “Namjoonie just called. They’ve got him working late to prep for the exhibition next month. So date night was canceled anyway.”

“Aw, Yoongiiiii.” You squeeze him tight enough that he makes another disgruntled noise, and you finally release your grip. “I’ll be your girlfriend tonight.”

He rolls his eyes, but willingly plays along. “Then get the wine, darling?”

You fall into a typical routine: Yoongi pulls a tray of roasted vegetables out of the oven as he lets the steak rest, while you grab a bottle of red at his instruction and fight with the corkscrew in an attempt to get it open. Yoongi watches you, slow-blinking, unamused.

“You wouldn’t last an hour in the restaurant industry.”

“Either help me, or shut up,” you hiss through clenched teeth.

When you finally get settled at your tiny kitchen table, Yoongi nods as if to prompt you while he fills each wine glass with a heavy pour. “Let’s hear it.”

You take a deep breath before launching in and recounting the events of your day, trying not to choke as you simultaneously stuff your face with food. Yoongi eats and listens quietly, no discernible reaction on his face save the occasional lift of his eyebrows. He leans back and crosses his arms over his chest as you finish detailing the way you ran out of the studio the minute class ended.

“Alright. So you saw Subway Boy naked, big deal. Do you know how many dicks I’ve seen?”

You groan. “Spare me the details, please.”

“But this is what you wanted, right?” You shrug, and he rolls his eyes. “Don’t play coy now. You’ve been lusting after this kid for months like a weirdo. So why are you stressed?”

“Because!” you huff, frustrated. “It’s— it’s out of order. It’s not like he chose to get naked in front of me specifically, he obviously just thought it was going to be a roomful of strangers. And it seemed like maybe we could be friends or something, but now I don’t know if I should keep pursuing that or just leave him alone. I want to be respectful, but I don’t want him to think I took one look at his penis and decided I didn’t like him anymore, but then it’s like, how do I hold a conversation when he and I both know I have seen his penis, not only seen but studied it, drawn it, and will continue to, weekly, in detail, from multiple angles—“

“You are absolutely overthinking this,” Yoongi laughs into his glass of wine, downing the rest before he continues. “Just get on the fucking train and say hi like a normal, well-adjusted human. This is my advice to you.”

You sigh as you shove a roasted potato in your mouth. “At least you’re a good cook.”

“I’m a great cook,” Yoongi corrects you as he gets to his feet. “Now help me with these dishes.”

~*~

Yoongi’s advice continues to echo in your brain as you lapse back into something like normalcy for the rest of the week.

When the day of your studio class rolls around again, you find yourself hustling not to miss the train, having hit snooze on your alarm a few too many times that morning. You fly down the subway steps just as the 6 is pulling into the station, and you try to ignore the way your pulse is already quickening, telling yourself it’s just from rushing and nothing else.

Pulling the strap of your bag up on your shoulder, you make it to the platform just as the train doors slide open, and your heart instantly leaps into your throat. There he is, leaning against a pole, overwhelmingly beautiful as ever. Park Jimin.

He’s scrolling through something on his phone and hasn’t yet looked up to notice you, and you find yourself frozen in place, jostled angrily by commuters exiting and boarding the train on either side of you.

Panic floods your veins. There’s no time to talk yourself off the ledge, no time to remember Yoongi’s words of wisdom, no time to do anything but make a snap decision. So you do the only thing that feels right: you turn around and sprint back up the stairs and out of the subway station.

The sidewalk is equally bustling, and you try to dodge people while you think through what to do despite the way your head is spinning. You were already going to be cutting it close for time today, and you don’t exactly have the disposable income for a taxi or an Uber. As you try to settle your racing thoughts, your eyes alight on a rack of Citibikes.

Fuck it. You don’t have a better option. Securing your bag on your back, you quickly scan the code to unlock the bike, then shove your phone in your pocket and swing your leg over the seat.

You’ve never biked in Manhattan traffic before, but it can’t be that difficult, you tell yourself. Definitely easier than sharing a subway car with Park Jimin.

Thankfully the street you’re on has a defined bike path, and you do your best to follow the flow of traffic, squeezing your hand brakes to slow to a stop when you hit a red light. It’s been years since you’ve ridden a bike that wasn’t stationary, but it comes back to you relatively easily, like— well, riding a bike.

When you hit a long stretch of green lights, you do your best to pick up speed, trying to make up for lost time. An approaching red light threatens to slow you down again, and you breathe a sigh of relief as it flips to green at the last possible second.

Just as your front tire rolls into the intersection, a deafening car horn nearly gives you a heart attack. You instinctively slam your grip tight around your brakes, and your bike screeches to a halt so fast you’re almost flung over the handlebars. A taxi just barely veers around you as it plows down the intersecting avenue, and you gasp for air, adrenaline coursing through your system.

Holy shit.

You drop one foot to the ground for leverage as you try to get your pulse back under control— you’re pretty sure you just saw your life flash before your eyes. Reality feels a million miles away, but you’re vaguely aware of someone shouting after the car as it speeds down the street.

“Fucking asshole!”

It takes a few seconds for you to realize that it’s a familiar voice, and when you do, you whip around as best you can with a bike between your legs.

“Yoongi?!”

“Oh my god,” Yoongi groans, knuckles blanching as he presses down on his own brakes. “What the fuck are you doing?”

You squint, taking in the helmet strapped over his wavy dark hair and the insulated bag tucked into the basket on the front of his bike. “Since when do you deliver food?”

He grimaces, speaking up to be heard over the noise of traffic. “I just do it to make extra money when my hours suck.”

“What about the coffee shop?”

He shakes his head. “They only have me opening Mondays and Wednesdays right now.”

“What about the bar?”

“That’s just weekends, reliably. Sometimes extra evenings, but only if someone calls out.”

“What about the—”

“Christ, woman!” Yoongi cuts you off with a growl. “The food’s gonna get cold if I have to sit here and run through my entire résumé with you! Are you alright? Why aren’t you taking the subway?”

“Because!” you snap back. “There is a man on that train whose dick I’ve seen and I… I don’t know how to handle it! Okay?!” Though you don’t intend to raise your voice, it comes out loud enough that a group of high school kids on their phones exchange stifled giggles as they fast-walk around you.

“Well you need to be fucking careful,” Yoongi chides. “Biking in the city is not for the faint of heart. And if I’m not allowed to give in to my suicidal ideation, you’re not allowed to crack your head open on the pavement all because you’re trying to avoid a penis.”

“Fine,” you spit back through gritted teeth. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get to class.” You push off the asphalt, legs still shaking a little with excess nerves as you re-find your balance and make your way cautiously through the intersection.

The rush of wind in your ears isn’t quite loud enough to drown out Yoongi calling after you as you bike away. “It’s only weird if you make it weird!”

When you somehow make it to Astor Place in one piece, you dock your bike and quickly sprint to the building, well aware that you’re already late. It’s only once you push the studio door open that you realize how truly frazzled and out of breath you are, and though you keep your gaze fixed on the floor, you can feel every pair of eyes in the room on you. You hold a hand up in an apologetic wave and hurry to find your seat.

Trying to collect yourself, you begin to unpack your materials as quietly as possible so as not to disturb the class. You nearly jump out of your skin when you hear Kim Taehyung’s voice beside you.

“You’re sweaty. Why are you so sweaty?”

He’s got an eyebrow cocked when you look over, and you give him the most powerful death glare you can muster, enough that it must actually scare him. “Shutting up now,” Taehyung murmurs, voice shaking slightly as he returns to his own sketches, and you huff an exhale as you attempt to catch up to the rest of the group.

Class passes surprisingly quickly once you manage to get your breath back, much in the same way it did the week prior: you do your best to compartmentalize the body in front of you from the human person you have a giant, embarrassing crush on. It goes decently well in the moments where Jimin is frozen in a fixed pose, just lines and curves and light and shadow for you to emulate. During the breaks when he comes alive again, you hide out behind your easel, trying to ignore Taehyung’s inane bullshit and wishing you could disappear entirely.

The second your professor dismisses everyone for the day, you stuff your things back into your bag, hoping to once again speed-walk out of the room.

But despite your better judgment, you can’t help yourself this time. As you get to your feet, you glance up to watch Jimin pull his dressing gown back on, only to realize his eyes are already on you.

You’re distinctly aware of how much of a mess you must look from biking over, and the fact that you almost assuredly smudged charcoal on your face when you reached up absentmindedly to scratch an itch mid-sketch.

Jimin’s plush lips turn up in the smallest of smiles, and the bottom drops out of your stomach.

With a hard swallow, you avert your gaze from his, sling your bag over your shoulder, and quickly make your escape through the studio door. You can feel your pulse pounding in your throat even after he’s out of your sight, and your hands shake like a leaf all the way to your next class.

~*~

That night, sleep evades you until the early hours of the morning, and it feels like you’ve only just begun to doze off when the harsh noise of your alarm pulls you up from dreaming. You roll over in bed and glare accusingly at your phone, then shut it off, promptly letting the waves drag you under once more, seminar be damned.

It’s nearly noon when you finally make it out of bed and stumble into the living room in your sweats. Namjoon is curled up in his reading chair, a feat for someone of his size, surrounded as always by his massive stack of ever-changing ‘to read’ books. He glances up from the one that’s open on his lap, clearly surprised to see you.

“No class?” Namjoon’s voice is rough-edged, like he’s only just woken up himself.

“Skipped,” you grunt. His eyes track you as you cross the room and collapse face-first onto the couch.

“Is this about the penis?”

The cushion muffles your groan. “Not you too.”

You hear the distinct fluttering sound of Namjoon closing his book and shifting in his seat to give you his undivided attention. “Seems like you want to talk about it.”

You turn your head to the side to take in your roommate. “Maybe. Are you gonna give me the same stupid advice your boyfriend did?”

He smiles softly, one dimple flexing at the corner of his mouth. “I can try to be gentler.”

You huff as you flip onto your side, pressing your palms together and slipping them under your cheek. “Sounds like you’ve got the details already, so please. Enlighten me. Tell me how I’m supposed to handle seeing this guy naked once a week in the name of art.”

“Didn’t William Blake say ‘Art can never exist without naked beauty displayed’?” Namjoon poses it like a serious question, brow creased as if in contemplation, and you roll your eyes.

“I don’t know, Joon, did he? I said enlighten me, not write me a thesis.” You reach up to grab a couch pillow and fling it in his direction, missing by several inches. “Did Blake have anything in there on dealing with a naked crush and trying not to make it weird as fuck?”

“Well, does he seem weirded out by it?” Namjoon counters, patient as ever.

“I don’t know.” You shrug unsurely as you play back your last interaction with Jimin. “He smiled at me yesterday, at the end of class.”

Namjoon steeples his fingers together, leaning forward slightly in his chair, interest clearly piqued. “Okay, and what did you do?”

You squeeze your eyes shut. “I… threw all my shit in my bag and ran out of the room.” When you crack an eye open again, you can see Namjoon trying and failing to keep the smug smile off his face, his dimples giving him away.

“Maybe you could try smiling back next time?” he gently suggests.

You sigh, because you know he’s right. “You make it sound so easy. What’s next? You’re going to tell me to talk to him?”

He laughs a little. “I’d quote another poet, but I fear you might launch more projectiles at me.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Let’s hear it, nerd.”

Namjoon clears his throat for dramatic effect before launching into a recitation. “‘It’s cool, not tryna put a rush on you / I had to let you know, that I got a crush on you.’”

There’s a wide grin on his face as you sit all the way up. “Did you just quote Biggie Smalls at me?”

“Hey, I appreciate all forms of poetry.”

You feign annoyance, but you can’t quite hide the smile beneath it, and you get to your feet as Namjoon continues to mumble a verse of Crush on You under his breath. “Whatever. I need to do laundry.”

“Oh—” Namjoon pauses to interrupt himself. “Lucky’s closed, by the way.”

Already halfway out of the living room, you whip around again at the mention of the laundromat you’ve been exclusive with for the last few years. “What?”

He nods solemnly. “Me and Yoongi found out the hard way last week. They’re putting in an Equinox.”

Your face twists in disgust. “A stupid bougie gym?! You’ve got to be kidding me. Where am I supposed to wash my fucking clothes?”

“We found a place a few blocks up. Quick Clean, or something like that.” Namjoon shifts to dig his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll send you the address. It’s not bad, just a little more expensive.”

“This is such bullshit,” you groan as you stomp back into your bedroom, the day already off to a terrible start.

In a gentrification-induced rage, you angrily shove the contents of your overflowing laundry hamper into the giant yellow IKEA bag hung up in your closet, just barely managing to fit it all. Glancing at the mirror on the back of the door, you briefly consider changing out of your sweats, or at the very least doing something with your hair, but you shrug it off— it’s not like you’re trying to impress anyone at the damn laundromat.

You grab your headphones off your desk and sling them around your neck, double-check that your sketchbook is still tucked into your bag, then lug everything out to the front hallway. You pull your slides off the shoe rack and slip your socked feet into them.

“Bye, nerd!” you call over your shoulder to Namjoon before the front door slams shut behind you.

By the time you make it to the weird new laundromat, you’re sweaty and pissed off. You knew the walk to Lucky’s by heart, but you had to do this one while looking down at your phone GPS and trying not to get hit by a car. Not an easy feat while carrying every article of clothing you own over one shoulder.

You miss the way the nice old man who owned Lucky’s would greet you warmly and sneak you a cup of coffee from his pot in the back, the way his cat would roll over on the front counter for belly rubs, the way there was always a deeply entertaining telenovela playing on the ancient tiny TV.

The stupid Quick Clean has none of these things, just a shitty pile of magazines in the seating area and weirdly sticky floors. You slam into the front door a little harder than is necessary to push it open, the bell tinkling violently overhead as you enter. The only compliment you can give the place is that it’s relatively dead, save for a couple people on their phones or half-asleep in chairs as they wait on their stuff, and two guys in the corner loading armfuls of wet clothes into a pair of dryers.

You grab a machine a respectful distance away from them and swing the door open when a laugh that’s nearly musical gives you pause. Unable to shake a sense of familiarity, you glance over at your neighbors again, just in time to see one of them reach up to run a hand through his honey blonde hair.

Your IKEA bag hits the sticky floor with an audible thud as panic kickstarts your heart.

This isn’t fucking happening. Of all the laundromats in New York City, you did not just manage to stumble into the one currently being used by Park Jimin.

But even before you can catch a glimpse of his profile, you’re already certain it can’t be anyone else. You’ve spent too much time familiarizing yourself with the slope of his neck, the definition of his forearms, his dainty hands. There’s no mistaking them, adorned today with several silver rings that catch the dim fluorescent light as he grabs more of his clothes from the washer.

The desperate need to turn around and run rises up in your chest, just as before, but this time you steel yourself. You can’t keep running away forever— particularly not when you pulled on your last clean pair of underwear this morning.

A rush of heat floods your face at the thought of the many pairs of underwear in your bag that will soon be sent spinning around this washing machine, where Jimin could easily see, but then it occurs to you that you have seen his penis. Maybe the trade-off will put you on slightly more equal footing.

But you really don’t need to be thinking about Park Jimin’s penis in this laundromat right now.

Shaking your head slightly to try and banish the thought, you set about your laundry routine, trying not to drop any unmentionables on the floor when you dump the contents of your tote into the washer. You dig quarters out of your bag and slot them into the machine, then press the button to start the cycle.

With a final exhale to steady yourself, you turn to look over your shoulder again, only to find Jimin leaning up against the empty dryer next to his, unabashedly watching you with a small smile on his face.

It occurs to you now that you couldn’t have put less effort into your appearance if you tried, and you’re suddenly hyper-aware of every random stain on your sweatpants and your extremely fashionable socks and slides combination. Jimin’s just in a white t-shirt and a pair of distressed jeans today, but literally everything looks fresh off the runway on him. You suppress the urge to walk out the door and go lay down in traffic, and instead take Namjoon’s advice: you smile back and even lift your hand in a shy wave.

You drop into an empty chair across from your machine and watch as Jimin starts to cross the room to join you, his eyes never leaving yours. Before he can make it, you suddenly become aware of someone else sliding into the seat beside you.

“You didn’t tell me she was cute, Jimin-ah!”

Eyes wide, you turn to see Jimin’s friend sprawled out next to you, one arm draped lazily over the back of your chair. His wavy dark hair peeks out from under a lime green beanie, and he’s swimming in an oversized long sleeve tucked into baggy pants, cinched tight at the waist with a Gucci belt.

“Jung Hoseok,” he gives you a nod. “Friends call me Hobi. You can call me whatever you like.” The way his wide smile pulls his mouth heart-shaped makes you giggle a little, slightly dazed by whatever the fuck is happening right now.

You hear Jimin sigh as he takes the open seat on your other side. “Please ignore Hoseok’s tendency to come on way too strong. If it makes you feel any better, he’s as gay as they come.”

Hoseok flicks his wrist just so. “Guilty as charged.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” you say with a shrug, your gaze flitting from Jimin to Hoseok and back again. “I have two gay roommates, so.”

Hoseok hums, clearly interested. “Gay together or gay separately?”

“Gay together.”

He narrows his eyes. “Open to a third?”

You can’t help but laugh at the unexpected question. “Uh, I’d have to ask.”

He looks like he’s going to say more, but Jimin interjects. “Hoseok— can we get a minute?”

Hoseok’s lips pull together, fish-like, and he nods as he gets to his feet. “Say no more. I’ll just, uh…” He fumbles, looking around for something to do, then crosses the room to take the open seat next to the sad pile of magazines. “…do a little light reading.” He picks up one at the top of the stack, holding it up for you both to witness. “Oh look, the queen died!”

You bite down on your bottom lip to suppress another laugh, but Jimin’s face is surprisingly serious when you look back at him. “I just want to say one thing,” he murmurs, voice low, “and then I’ll leave you alone.”

Nerves settle in the pit of your stomach like a heavy weight. “Jimin,” you start, and when he opens his mouth to keep talking, you blurt out the first thing you can think of.

“I’m sorry,” you say in unison, and there’s a beat where you both blink, equally taken aback by the other’s apology. It’s quiet apart from the rumble of the laundry machines and the distinct sound of Hoseok smacking the magazine over his mouth, clearly more invested in your plot line.

You break the silence first. “Wait, why are you sorry?”

Jimin’s eyes drop down to the floor, one black boot toeing nervously at the tile. “I figured you were upset with me because I didn’t warn you.”

Your eyes widen in surprise when you play your initial conversation back. “Oh my god— when I said graduate studio art, you… you knew.”

He nods, somewhat remorseful. “I was kind of hoping that maybe it would be a different class, but. Yeah. I figured. I’m really sorry, I should’ve—”

“No, no,” you interrupt. “I get it. I’m not mad, obviously I didn’t even put it together until right now.” You pause for a second and can’t help but smile a little. “And, I mean, how do you just casually work that into your first conversation with someone? ‘Great talking to you, ready to see my dick in five minutes?’”

Jimin’s head tips back when he laughs, his cheeks flushing a faint shade of pink. “Right.”

You can feel your own face grow hot as you realize what you’ve just said. “God, sorry, I didn’t mean to— clearly I don’t know how to handle this. That’s why I wanted to apologize, for avoiding you and being weird.” You twist your hands uncomfortably in your lap. “I’ve just never been in this situation before, and I wasn’t sure if you’d still want to talk given… the…” Every cell in your body screams at you not to say the word ‘dick’ again. “Yeah. I thought it might be easier to keep my distance. Keep it separate.”

Jimin’s eyes drift back up to find yours, and his casual beauty is so stunning, it’s enough to knock the air out of your lungs. He shrugs softly. “I mean, maybe it would be. But I don’t want to.”

“Great,” you manage a laugh, still breathless. “Because I nearly died on a Citibike the day I didn’t take the subway.”

He laughs, too. “Not gonna lie, I missed seeing you on the train.” You’re not expecting it when he extends a hand out. “Friends?”

You realize belatedly that he’s offering a handshake, and you gently take his hand in yours. His skin is soft and warm, a contrast to the cool metal of his rings that press into your palm as he squeezes.

“Friends,” you echo with a smile, squeezing back.

There’s a sudden thump and a cackle as Hoseok falls out of his chair with a peal of laughter. “You are so fucking weird, Jimin-ah!” he gasps from his spot on the floor. “Who shakes hands?!”

The two of them keep you more than entertained until the buzzers on their dryers sound a second apart from each other. You learn that Hoseok and Jimin are roommates, that they met as dance majors in their undergrad program, and that Hoseok now works as an adjunct instructor and freelance choreographer.

“Because some of us decided we wanted to actually make money instead of digging ourselves further into debt,” he explains with a sly grin and smack delivered to the back of Jimin’s head.

You watch as they meticulously fold, Hoseok regularly leaning over to redo Jimin’s work and chide him about wrinkles, and then they stack the clean laundry back into their bags and head for the exit.

“Bye, new friend!” Hoseok calls as he maneuvers the door open with his foot, and Jimin pauses at the threshold, the bell overhead tinkling gently.

“So… guess I’ll see you on the train?” he asks, like he’s still a little unsure, and your heartbeat flutters.

“Guess so.”

“Cool.” He gives you one last soft smile before he disappears after Hoseok. The bell sounds again when the door shuts behind him, as if to snap you back to reality.

The floating feeling in your stomach doesn’t quite dissipate even long after Jimin has left the laundromat. While you wait on your clothes, you flip to a blank page in your sketchbook and start on something new: the outline of a hand extended in mid-air, rings glinting like an offered promise.

~*~

The next week, Jimin is waiting for you on your morning subway ride, the dance bag that he usually keeps tucked between his legs set on the bench next to him. When he sees you step through the train doors at 51st, you watch him reach over to swing the bag down to its rightful place on the floor, freeing up the space. An open invitation.

You can’t help but feel a little shy as you sink down next to him and murmur your thanks. There’s something about being this close to him that just makes your mind go blank, puts you at a loss for words entirely.

To your surprise, he doesn’t try to strike up conversation either. Instead he plucks one fancy bluetooth earbud out of his ear, gives it a diplomatic swipe across the fabric of his joggers, then holds it up, pinched between his fingers in front of you.

Another invitation, you realize dumbly.

The corner of your mouth turns up as you pluck the bud out of his hand and press it into your own ear. The music that must have paused itself upon the earbud’s removal resumes, and your smile grows when Jimin quickly unlocks his phone to restart the song from the beginning.

An acoustic guitar and a light, pretty voice fill your ear, underscored by a gentle yet driving beat, not unlike the rumble of the train beneath your feet. It’s like the rest of the world fades away to nothing as you stare down at his sneakers next to your shoes, hyper-aware of the mere inch or two of space between you in this moment.

As if to prove your point, the train comes to a sharp stop, enough to make you slide a little on the bench and then you’re suddenly not just close but touching, all the way down, an unbroken line from shoulder to hip to knee.

When you look over in surprise, Jimin is already looking back at you. You swear you can feel warmth radiating out from him at every point where your bodies press together.

After another dazed moment, you come to your senses enough to scoot over, breaking the contact with an embarrassed laugh as you feel your face grow hot.

Your gaze drifts back down to the floor, only to snap up again at another brush of contact, this one not initiated by you or by the motion of the train. Instead, you realize Jimin has spread his legs an inch wider to purposefully touch his knee to yours again and leave it there. You blink softly as you look over at him, but he’s staring firmly out the window of the subway car now, smiling with just his eyes.

For the rest of the ride, you think of little else but Jimin’s knee pressed against yours and the pretty pink flush in his cheeks.

You stay in comfortable silence, music floating in your ears as you exit the train at Astor Place together, until you reach the studio, where you finally return the borrowed earbud. He smiles as he tucks them both back into the case, then pushes open the door and gestures for you to enter first.

Jimin shoots you a final look before your paths diverge, and you sink into your seat with a small, dreamy sigh. Your bliss is short-lived when you hear Taehyung’s voice over your shoulder.

“That was fast.”

You whip around to shoot him a look. “What was fast?”

He makes a face, like it’s obvious. “You’re already banging the model and it’s been, what, two weeks?”

Taehyung’s just close enough that you can lean forward and smack him on the arm, and he hisses in a way that has to be an exaggeration. Thankfully he seems to take the hint, and manages to actually keep his mouth shut as the professor commands everyone’s attention at the center of the room.

When Jimin emerges in the usual black satin, you try to keep your composure, but you can’t ignore the chill that dots up your spine when he lets the fabric fall to the floor.

Nevertheless, you sink into the routine of class, the thrill of Jimin’s naked body now equal parts familiar and exhilarating. The only difference is that today, when you’re dismissed, you make no effort to quickly pack up. You instead purposefully take your time, adding a few extra details to your last sketch before you finally start putting things away. Your gaze flickers up distractedly to see Jimin pulling his dressing gown back over his body as he moves to close the distance between you.

“Hi,” he says simply when he reaches your easel, and you smile.

“Hi.”

“Sorry, is, uh— is it okay that I talk to you, when I’m—” He gestures vaguely to his lower half with one hand, using the other to keep himself covered.

You swallow hard at the thin layer of fabric and everything you know lies beneath it. “Yeah, it’s okay,” you say, hating how breathless you sound.

“When are you done with classes today?”

It takes an extra second for you to remember your own schedule. “Uh, six.”

Jimin fidgets with the satin material in his hands, clearly a little uncomfortable. Or maybe nervous. “Would you… want to get dinner after? With me?”

Your stomach flutters as you nod. “Yeah, yes. I’d like that.”

~*~

When you emerge from your last class, you find Jimin waiting for you on Astor Place, and you’re not expecting it when he greets you with a single question: “Do you like sushi?” You answer affirmatively, and he nods over his shoulder. “Then let’s walk this way.”

You end up tucked into two seats at a place you’ve never been to before, where rolls and other plates of food zip past you on a steadily moving conveyor belt. Jimin shows you how to pop the plates out from their protective domes, and you gather a small feast of options on the table between you to share.

“So,” you start with a nervous smile, chopsticks hovering in midair. “Can I ask the obvious question?”

He quirks an eyebrow, intrigued. “What’s that?”

“What made you decide to nude model?” The words alone send fresh waves of heat and nerves through you, sparkling in your chest. “Or have you done it before?”

“I haven’t,” Jimin confirms with a shake of his head, then he pops a piece of sushi in his mouth as if to buy himself time. He chews, bringing a hand up as he speaks with his mouth still half-full. “Do you want the real answer?”

You nod, and his adam’s apple jerks as he swallows. There’s a look on his face like he isn’t quite sure what to say, and then he exhales a weighty sigh. “I’ve struggled with my body for a really long time. Especially in undergrad.”

Your eyes widen slightly— you weren’t expecting such a serious response.

“Dance doesn’t typically have the best culture for that to begin with,” he continues, “and I’d spend literally all day staring at myself in a mirror, so I would just… pick myself apart. Always convinced I wasn’t good enough, that I needed to lose more weight, always.”

The thought of it makes your heart ache, but you let him talk.

“I’m through the worst of it now, so please don’t feel like you need to be worried. But I have some friends who’ve done this kind of thing before and it seemed like, I don’t know, a good challenge?” His brow creases, contemplative. “I really love art, so I thought maybe if I did it, I might be able to see my body in a new way, through the eyes of other people. Of artists.” He pauses, then nods, like he’s said his piece.

It takes you a second to respond. “That’s… beautiful, Jimin.”

He looks down, clearly a little uncomfortable. “Sorry if that was too heavy.”

“I can take it,” you say softly, and it’s enough to make him glance back up in surprise. “Thank you for telling me.”

A faint color floods his face. “Thanks for listening.”

You eat in a silence that’s oddly comfortable, and when you both reach for the same piece of sushi and end up knocking chopsticks together, he lets you have it, picking up the thread of conversation again as he smiles. “What got you into art?”

You make a face, chased by an unsure shrug. “Is it bad if I say it’s the only thing I feel like I’m good at?”

Jimin laughs a little. “I don’t know that I believe you.”

“I mean,” you lean back in your seat. “Maybe not the only thing, but I’ve just never been able to see myself doing anything else. I’m not cut out for the corporate life, as much as my parents wish I was. Art’s always been the thing that I go to in my free time. When I’m feeling so much that it’s overwhelming, or so numb that it’s like I can’t feel anything, the act of creating something just… brings me back to center again.” You worry your bottom lip between your teeth. “It’s an outlet, I guess.”

“Well, if it helps, you’re very good at it.”

“Thanks,” you say with a small smile. “But it’s not even about being good, at least not to me. Maybe it sounds weird, but I don’t really have any interest in being the best. It’s art, so it’s all subjective anyway. I just wanna make stuff.”

Jimin smirks as he adds another empty plate to the growing stack in front of you, tongue poking briefly at the inside of his cheek before he speaks. “I could stand to be more like you.”

“Your turn,” you shoot back. “Why dance?”

At this, he actually brings a hand up to cover his face, and his voice is muffled under his palm when he responds. “I can tell you exactly why, but it’s embarrassing.”

You shift a little in your chair to get a better look at him. “Don’t be embarrassed! It’s not like I—” you cut yourself off before you can very obviously finish the sentence with ‘haven’t seen your dick’, and you shove a piece of sushi in your mouth to shut yourself up, so fast you nearly choke.

Jimin laughs loudly into his hands, and then you’re laughing too, dropping your head down on the table to try and chew your food without asphyxiating.

“Okay, okay,” he gasps when he can finally manage to take a breath in. “I’ll tell you.”

He sets his chopsticks down, overly serious. “When I was little, I was obsessed with Titanic. Specifically the scene where they dance together, and Rose rises up on her toes in front of everyone.” There are practically stars in his eyes as he recounts the moment, and you can’t bear to cut him off. “I just thought she was so beautiful, and I wanted to be like that. Almost broke my toes trying to go en pointe barefoot like an idiot.”

You’re silent for a moment, and there’s a flicker of panic in Jimin’s face, like he’s worried he overshared. “I have to be honest,” you say softly. “I’ve never seen Titanic.”

His eyes nearly pop out of his head. “What?!”

Already expecting the reaction, you grimace and nod. “I know, I know. Everyone gets mad at me for it. Go ahead.”

Jimin’s eyes flit from your face to the remaining piece of sushi on the plate between you, then back again. “I mean, we can go solve this problem right now, if you want.” He pauses, then admits with a giggle, “I have it on DVD.”

You shrug, trying to act casual despite the way your pulse has started to quicken. “They canceled my morning seminar for tomorrow, so I’m down.”

He leans forward to steal the last piece of sushi with a smug smile. “Then let’s get out of here.”

It’s a short train ride back to Jimin’s place, and you make it in the front door just in time to see Hoseok slipping out of what looks to be his bedroom. You barely process him as the same person— tonight his dark hair is swept off his forehead, and he’s in nice dress pants and a white button-down, unbuttoned just enough to display the delicate spread of his collarbone.

“Hi kids!” he calls in greeting, and you wave back as you kick your shoes off.

Hoseok crosses to grab a mirrored pair of aviators and his keys off the table by the front door. “Daddy’s going out. You two have fun, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He pauses for a moment, like he’s waiting for a joke to land, then cracks a grin. “By which I obviously mean do whatever the fuck you want.”

As Hoseok pulls the door shut behind him, you follow Jimin into the living room, where you perch nervously on the edge of the couch while he disappears into the kitchen. “Do you like prosecco?” he asks, raising his voice slightly to be heard.

“Uh, I think so,” you say unsurely. “I don’t think I ever developed enough of a palette to have wine preferences.”

“White and sparkling?”

“Sounds good,” you respond, and then you hear the distinct noise of a cork popping before he returns with a bottle and two glasses in hand. He sets everything on the coffee table as he takes a seat next to you, then leans forward to fill both glasses nearly to the brim.

Jimin’s face flushes when you giggle softly at the pour. “Sorry— I like to drink. You don’t have to finish it all.” You shrug and take a healthy pull from your glass. It’s crisp and light, with little bubbles that fizz and pop all the way down.

“Hoseok calls me a lush,” he admits with a shy laugh as he picks up his own drink and turns to face you, sitting back against the arm of the couch. You shift to mirror him, curling your socked feet up under you. He takes a sip, then seems to think better of it, leaning forward to set his glass down on the table again. “I did want to tell you something. A couple of things, I guess.”

The sentence makes your stomach twist, and you try your best to ignore it. “What’s up?”

Jimin’s lips press together for a moment, as if he’s trying to figure out how to word whatever he’s about to say. “I’m not, like, trying to be presumptuous by telling you this but I just— I don’t want it to go unsaid and then come up later and be a whole big thing, so. I just want you to know that Hoseok is my ex.”

Your eyes widen in surprise. You’re not sure what you were expecting, but certainly not that.

“We dated freshman year of undergrad, for… maybe three months? It was the kind of thing where I knew I was bi in high school but was too scared to act on it, so when I moved to New York I just, like, dated the first gay person I met? Which was probably a little shitty of me. We quickly realized we work much better as friends, and it was a very mutual thing. No hard feelings.”

You nod slowly, trying to keep up. “And you’ve lived together since then?”

“No, no,” Jimin replies quickly, and he nearly grimaces as he continues. “At the end of last semester, I, uh… I got out of a pretty bad long-term relationship.” The way he says it makes your heart sink a little. “And she and I lived together, so Hoseok was extremely gracious and offered to take me in.”

He reaches for his glass of wine again, then pauses with it halfway to his mouth. “Ideally the number of exes I’d be living with would be zero, but. You know. This is definitely the better option, at least until I can figure out what comes next.”

A pause settles between you while he takes a long drink and you try to process all this new information. “I’m sorry about the breakup,” you say softly, and he shakes his head as he swallows.

“Don’t be. It was a very good thing. Long overdue.”

“Well,” you correct yourself, the corners of your mouth pulling up. “Then I’m sorry that it took so long.”

At this, he smiles back. “Me fuckin’ too.”

After one more sip, Jimin sets his wine back down on the coffee table, then rolls off the couch— surprisingly graceful— to retrieve Titanic from the small collection of movies lined up on the shelf beneath the TV.

“Ready?”

“This better have a happy ending,” you murmur over the edge of your wine glass. Jimin laughs so hard he nearly tips over.

He settles next to you again as the movie starts, painted pretty in the blue glow of the TV, and you try your best to watch the movie, but it’s hard to keep your eyes off him. Partway through you notice him grab a pillow off the back of the couch and hug both of his arms around it, curling up small.

Cute, you can’t help but think to yourself, and you can feel heat settle in your face as you try to refocus on the story.

When you reach the dancing scene Jimin sits up a little, lips parting slightly, that same starry look in his eyes as when he explained it initially. The mental image of a younger version of him equally enraptured by the moment nearly makes your chest cave in.

The movie goes on, and you’re draining the last of your second glass of wine when out of the corner of your eye, you see Jimin’s eyes go wide. Jack and Rose are closely examining a rare diamond necklace, and you don’t understand what he could be reacting to until Kate Winslet delivers her next line.

“Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls.”

Your eyes go just as wide as Jimin’s, and you let out a laugh of disbelief that’s nearly a scream. “Oh my fucking god, Park Jimin! You did this on purpose!”

“I swear, I didn’t! I didn’t even think about that part until right now!” He shakes his head desperately as he gasps for air, and he doubles over with his own laughter, rolling right off the couch, arms still clutched tightly around his pillow.

“I literally cannot believe this.” You dissolve into giggles as you sink to your knees on the floor beside him, close to tears.

It takes time for you both to recover, but Jimin eventually manages to pull himself back up to sitting, shoulders still shaking slightly with laughter. He lets the pillow drop to the floor and presses both of his palms down into it as he leans towards you. “But hey, maybe that’s why I like you.”

He’s so magnetic, so beautiful, you can’t help but lean in, too. “You like me?”

There’s a warm glow of color in his cheeks, and you’re not sure if you can blame it entirely on the wine. “I do.”

Your lingering smile slowly starts to soften, and now your heart feels like it might pound out of your chest. “So what, you’re Rose and I’m Jack?”

His gaze drops to your mouth, his voice barely more than a whisper as he murmurs, “Uh-huh”. Imaginary violins swell in your head as you surge forward to close the distance and press your lips to his.

Jimin’s lips are soft and warm, and your head spins as you sit up on your knees and lean into the kiss. While his mouth moves gently against yours, his palms press to the small of your back, and the heat of his hands radiates through the thin fabric of your shirt. You wrap your arms over his shoulders, partially for balance and partially in an attempt to pull him closer to you.

He tilts his head, and you whimper against him when you feel his tongue trace delicately over your bottom lip. He returns a breathy noise back as he licks slowly into your mouth, like he’s taking his time, like he’s not in any rush.

Even though you can feel your arousal starting to build, heavy in your gut and slick between your thighs, you realize: you want him to take his time with you.

You’re surprised at the loss when he suddenly leans back, just enough to break the kiss, still keeping you held close. “Is it, um—” he clears his throat, then tries again. “I don’t… want to go any further. Than this. At least not tonight. Is that okay?”

Your eyes search his, and you’re a little breathless when you manage to get the words out. “Yeah. Yeah, of course. I’m good with that. With whatever you want.”

“Okay.” You exhale a laugh when he reaches over to find the remote on the coffee table and pause the movie. “I want to keep kissing you, if that’s alright.”

“Yes, please,” you murmur against his lips.

Jimin shifts a little, and you follow his lead, letting him tip you backwards onto the floor, your arms still looped around his neck, one hand now tangling in his honey blonde hair. He drops a forearm down to the carpet beside you, his other hand coming to rest at the curve of your waist, knees bracketing your hips as he covers your body with his.

He alternates between sucking on your lower lip and gentle passes of his tongue into your mouth, the hand on your waist tracing a lazy path down to your hip and back up again. Something pulled tight inside you starts to slowly unwind, blooming open as you sink into the rhythm, into him.

It’s been such a long time since you’ve just kissed someone like this, without it feeling like part of a race to get naked. And you’ve never been kissed like this in your life— so soft, so attentive. It’s enough to make you dizzy, even with your back pressed flat to the floor.

You lose track of how much time passes as you trade open-mouthed kisses on Jimin’s living room carpet, until he finally pulls away again. Still in a daze, you shift the hand in his hair to gently cup his face, not quite able to believe that he’s really real.

“God,” Jimin breathes, laughing quietly to himself. “I really like you.”

You smile as you blink up at him. “I like you too, Jimin.”

Rolling over, he drops down onto the floor next to you with a blissed-out sigh. He stretches his arms overhead, spine arching like a cat, then lifts up again to glance back at you. “Do you want more wine? ‘Cause we’re only like halfway done. This movie is stupid long.”

“I could go for more,” you answer with a shrug, still smiling.

In one swift move, Jimin flips his legs over his head and effortlessly somersaults up to standing, and your eyes go wide. “How do you fucking do that?!”

“I’m a trained professional!” he calls over his shoulder as he sashays into the kitchen. You giggle a little. “I would break every bone in my body.”

He’s humming prettily to himself, and you hear the sound of the fridge opening and closing, followed by the pop of another bottle being uncorked. You pull yourself back onto the couch as he rejoins you and pours fresh wine into both glasses, and a sudden curiosity urges you to ask a question. “Is Titanic your favorite movie?”

Jimin shakes his head, but says nothing, and the strange hesitant expression that flashes over his face just makes you that much more intrigued.

“Let’s hear it.”

His eyes flit over to you, then back to the wine glasses. “You’ll laugh.”

“I won’t!” you exclaim, lifting a hand when he scrunches up his nose, doubtful. “Promise.”

With a reluctant sigh, Jimin sets the bottle back down on the table, staring straight ahead as he admits, “It’s The Notebook.”

You press your lips together, trying desperately to keep your mouth in a straight line. At least you manage not to laugh. “I— wow. Really?”

He nods like the reaction is expected, picking up his wine glass and settling back against the couch cushions. “I don’t know, there’s just something about it. It’s comforting, to me.”

“You’re such a romantic,” you murmur, gently nudging his thigh with your foot until you coax a smile out of him.

“You know what?” Jimin’s voice is thoughtful now, more self-assured. “I am.” He takes a sip of his drink before he continues. “For a long time I didn’t want to be. Or thought that I couldn’t be. I used to always try to be so. I don’t know. Masculine, I guess. I think some of it had to do with denying my sexuality, but even once I got around to accepting that, there was still this part of me that would just never allow myself to be… soft.”

His gaze drops down to the wine in his glass, and you sit up, tucking your legs underneath you to scoot closer to him until you’re side by side. “I like you soft,” you say simply, and he looks over at you, still smiling.

“If we watch The Notebook I will cry.”

“That’s okay.” You lean into him to seek a kiss, made sweet from the wine. He hums a little against your lips before you pull back. “Same time next week?”

~*~

Just like that, you fall into a regular routine with Jimin: sharing his headphones on the morning train, sketching out the shape of his body in studio, then picking up takeout and wine to bring back to his place and split over a movie. As predicted, The Notebook does make him cry, and when you show him Kimi no Na wa the week after, hot tears stream down your face at the final scene, the way they always do.

He takes your head in his hands as the credits roll, his thumbs swiping at errant tears on your cheeks. You chase a sniffle with an embarrassed laugh. “Okay. We’re even now.”

On your fourth movie night, partway into Moulin Rouge, something emboldens you when you see Jimin reach for his usual couch pillow. You lean over and gently pry it out of his grip, then shift to tuck yourself into his side and curl your legs up in his lap instead.

“Better?”

“Mm-hmm”, he murmurs as he ducks down to nuzzle against your cheek. “You’re warm.”

These nights end the same way each time: you ride the train home with a wine-soaked buzz in your brain and flushed, kiss-bitten lips, your fingertips brushing over your own mouth at the memory of his.

Once a week quickly turns into more. The two of you coordinate laundromat afternoons where you listen to music together as you wait for your clothes. You usually end up drawing to pass the time, and sometimes Jimin dozes off, head tipping over onto your shoulder so gently that you can’t help but smile down at your sketchbook.

At his request, you help him dye his hair pink in his tiny apartment bathroom, and it somehow suits him just as well as honey blonde. You both get dizzy from laughter and cleaning product fumes as you desperately try to scrub the bubblegum stains out of the tile before Hoseok comes home.

When you finally introduce Jimin to your roommates, the four of you crammed all-too formally around the kitchen table over Yoongi’s cooking, the interaction feels like a cross between a job interview and a prom date meeting your parents. You choke on a piece of chicken that you nearly inhale when Namjoon offhandedly refers to Jimin as Subway Boy, and Yoongi smiles wide enough to show his gums as he gladly recounts your months-long crush in great detail while you bury your burning face in your arms.

But Jimin takes it in stride, laughs into your mouth as he kisses you over the sink while the two of you wash the dishes.

“Subway Boy, huh?”

“I will drown you,” you murmur as you pull away, brandishing the spray hose like a threat.

It’s easy and slow. This blossoming something, a nameless but undeniable spark, the calm comfort of Jimin’s arms wrapped around your waist, his fingers intertwined with yours, his head dropped down on your shoulder.

~*~

You dig your phone out of your pocket as you shoulder open the door to the dance building, pulling up the text from Jimin to double-check his practice room number. A train delay made you slightly later than your agreed-upon time, but you know the takeout bag of Indian food dangling over your wrist will easily earn you his forgiveness.

It doesn’t surprise you that he’s the only one left in the room when you find it, nor that he’s still reviewing the choreography with an expression of severe focus. You hover in the doorway, waiting for him to look up, but he’s entirely concentrated on his own reflection in the mirror.

His movements alternate between delicate and powerful, explosive and restrained, and you have to hold in an outright gasp when he launches his body into an aerial and lands it effortlessly. But then his feet falter in a split second of hesitation, and you can see his expression tighten, clearly frustrated.

“Fuck,” he mutters to himself as he rubs a hand over his face, and he doesn’t even try to keep going with the rest of the dance. You take the opportunity to step a few more paces into the room, and his eyes jump to you in the mirror.

“Hi,” you say softly, suddenly a little nervous to be intruding on the moment. The corner of Jimin’s mouth turns up, but his eyes seem far away, and you can tell he’s still raging at himself in his mind.

“Hi, sorry,” he sighs. “I just— can’t get this. It’s like my body isn’t doing what I tell it to.”

“You need food.” You try to say it gently as you cross the room, holding up the smiley-face adorned plastic takeout bag. “And perhaps the enigmatic charm of Rachel McAdams.”

This seems to shake him out of his thoughts, at least a little. “I do like her.” He steps close enough to slip his arms around your waist and pull your body flush against his. Sweat glistens on his collarbone in the dim practice room lighting. “But I like you more.”

You roll your eyes as you playfully smack a hand against his solid chest. “Stop lying.”

“‘M not,” he insists as he presses a kiss to the hinge of your jaw. “Rachel McAdams has never once brought me masala dosa.” You giggle despite yourself, and when his lips drop down to your neck, it’s enough to make your breath hitch.

A spark ignites in your chest that doesn’t go out, not on the subway ride back to your apartment, not through dinner and a movie, and certainly not once you’re most of the way through the second bottle of wine. As the credits start to roll, you waste no time, turning in Jimin’s lap so you can properly straddle him and take his face in your hands.

You trade decadent, easy kisses, and Jimin’s hands settle at the small of your back, his thumbs massaging gentle circles into your hips. A shiver rolls up your spine when he shifts a little and you realize you can feel a growing bulge through the fabric of his joggers, pressed firm against your thigh. He breathes a soft sound into your mouth as his tongue slides over yours, and you’re so overwhelmed, you barely register the sound of keys in the lock or the front door opening.

It’s Jimin who reacts first, turning his head to break the kiss as his cheeks flood with color, and you glance over your shoulder just in time to see Yoongi storm past, heading for his room. He lifts a hand up to his face to shield you from view as he goes.

“Don’t stop on my account!” Yoongi’s voice is dripping with derision. “By all means, continue fucking on our shared furniture!”

“We’re fully clothed, asshole!” you snap in response as Yoongi slams the bedroom door behind him, hard enough that it rattles in the frame.

When you look back down at Jimin, his face is twisted in an expression you take to be embarrassment. You drop your head down on his shoulder with a frustrated groan, the moment successfully killed.

“Do you…” you pause, turning your head to the side but continuing to ask your question into the fabric of his shirt. “We could go to my room, for more privacy, if you want?”

He hums his agreement, and when you peel yourself off the couch and head for your room, he follows. You spin back around to face him in the doorway, so fast he nearly knocks into you.

You brace your hands on the doorframe as you survey him. “We really don’t have to… do anything, if you don’t want to. We can just talk.”

Jimin nods, and you step aside to let him enter first, pulling the door closed behind you as you follow. He takes a few tentative steps into the room, and you walk past him to drop down onto the floor next to your bed, then pat the carpet to encourage him to join. There’s a flash of something over his face, and then he sinks down beside you. It’s only now that you realize how quiet he’s gotten.

“What is it?” you ask, suddenly a little nervous.

He stares down at the soles of his feet, pressed into each other, his knees tipped open like butterfly wings. “Does it make you feel bad? That we’re not—”

“No,” you answer immediately, and the honesty of it resonates in your chest.

“I know we’ve been hanging out for a while,” he continues, voice low. “And I do want to, you know. Hook up.”

“Jimin,” you lean forward to place both of your hands over one of his, settled atop his knee. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. When you want to, I want to. But I like everything we’ve been doing, too. It’s not like we’re not… intimate.”

His gaze flits up from the floor to meet yours. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t want you.”

You close your fingers around his hand, pulling it off his leg and up to your face so you can brush your lips over his palm.

“I don’t think that at all,” you murmur against his skin. “Promise.”

There’s a hint of a smile in his eyes when you look back up at him. “Okay. Sorry, I know it’s stupid. Like why do I need reassurance from you when I’m the one being difficult?”

You press your cheek into the warmth of his hand, toying lazily with the rings on his fingers. “Why are you so convinced that you’re difficult?”

Jimin huffs a small sigh. “This conversation has not gone this well in the past.” His eyes drop to the floor again, and after a moment’s pause, he keeps talking.

“My ex and I struggled a lot with…” he shakes his head, as if he’s trying not to say ‘everything’. “Sex. With me wanting it, with us having enough of it. I think it gave me a complex. I could be physically, you know, ready, but then as soon as she’d touch me I’d get in my head about everything and freak out and immediately want to stop.” He pauses, worrying at his bottom lip.

You pull his hand into your lap, your fingers delicately tracing over his in an attempt to provide some comfort. He shrugs when he starts to speak again. “And then, I don’t know, I guess she was just trying to share her side, but... she would make me feel so bad about it sometimes. Because I was genuinely trying so hard but it was like I was never good enough.” Another pause, and this time he sniffs a little. When his eyes roll up to stare at the ceiling, you can see he’s holding back tears. “It felt like she didn’t want me anymore, not if there wasn’t sex. So I left.”

“Jimin,” you breathe, and he flashes you a small grimace, clearly embarrassed by his own dramatics. With a grunt of effort, he turns sideways and flops backwards onto the floor of your room, and you scoot closer to him, your hand still playing with his.

His gaze roams over the ceiling as he sighs. “I don’t want you to think I was this perfect person and she was some awful bitch. She loved me a lot, and I’m sure she was struggling with not feeling wanted either, in her own way.”

Your voice is soft when you interject. “Two people can just be… incompatible. It doesn’t mean either of them is a bad person, or that it’s anyone’s fault. Sometimes things just don’t work, no matter how hard you try.”

Jimin’s mouth pulls up on one side as he shakes his head, eyes squinting. “How did you get to be so smart?”

You can’t help but laugh a little, lacing your fingers together with his in your lap. “Years of making terrible decisions.” You give his hand a gentle squeeze before you ask a question. “Did you struggle with this before, or just with her?”

His mouth twists slightly, unsure. “Yes and no? Both? My desire has always… fluctuated, I guess. Been a little shy.” A smile spreads over his face, and he hums a note. “Like, you know how people say love at first sight isn’t a thing? That it’s just lust?” You nod, prompting him to continue. “I think, at least for me, it’s the opposite. I can fall for somebody, and fall hard, like that.” He snaps loudly with his free hand. “But lust… I don’t know, it takes longer. It’s like a slow burn thing.”

You nod again, processing his words for a moment before you respond. “Well, I’m in no rush.”

Jimin sits up, voice thoughtful as he untangles his hand from yours, and it’s clear he’s getting more comfortable opening up to you. “Right after the breakup, I did a lot of research. I found this term, demisexual, that felt pretty accurate.” He shrugs. “But I don’t know. I mostly just think that... I am who I am. And the people who get it will get it. Like you.”

Before you can even speak, he sweeps an arm under your calves to drag you into his lap in one swift move, and you squeak a little in surprise as your world tilts.

“Demisexual. I like it,” you giggle as he guides your legs to wrap around his middle. His hands slide up your thighs, grabbing at your hips to tug you closer so he can trail kisses along your neck.

“Biromantic demisexual, technically,” he murmurs, head tipping up to find your mouth again.

You drape your arms over his shoulders and hum against his lips as he kisses you. “It suits you.”

Another soft noise escapes you when Jimin manages to maneuver to standing with you still in his arms. You tighten your grip on his shoulders and your legs around his waist, and his hands shift down to your ass to firmly hold you up. You squeeze your eyes shut automatically in fear of being dropped, then flutter them open again when you feel your back press into the soft cushion of your bedspread.

Jimin is hovering over you, forearms dropped down to the bed on either side of you. His eyes search yours for a moment, and then he leans in to kiss you again, so fiercely this time that it leaves you breathless. You can’t help but whimper as his tongue slips into your mouth.

When he finally pulls away, he presses his forehead to your collarbone with a groan. “It’s late,” he murmurs, breath ghosting over your neck. “I should go.”

You nod responsibly, despite how desperately you want him to stay.

You walk him out, and his sweet parting kiss leaves your heart hammering in your chest, enough that you slump against the frame with a sigh once you shut the door, your knees suddenly weak.

Light on your feet, you follow the faint noise of the TV to find Yoongi in the living room with Planet Earth on at a barely audible volume. He glances at you, his mouth a flat line, then reaches for the remote to turn the sound up a few notches. You drop down on the couch next to him, and it’s silent for a moment, save for the calm narration and the crinkling plastic of him tearing open a bag of Turtle Chips.

“How’d it go?” he finally asks, voice monotone.

“It’s good,” you answer softly. “We’re good.” You fold your legs up under yourself and sneak a look at Yoongi out of the corner of your eye. You’re still a little pissed, but you also want advice. Damn him for knowing everything.

“Have you heard the term ‘demisexual’ before?”

Yoongi nods, still chewing as he replies. “Yeah. Like asexual spectrum, right?”

You shrug. “I guess. It’s new to me.”

He shoves a few more chips in his mouth before he continues. “Is that what your Subway Boy is?”

“I think so, yeah.”

There’s a long pause while you watch penguins march across the screen, and you think that might be the end of it. Then Yoongi clears his throat. “You know, I’m somewhere in there too. Not completely asexual, but definitely not… not.”

Your eyes widen. “Really?”

Yoongi snorts. “Don’t act so shocked. These walls aren’t that thick.”

“Is Joon?”

He smirks, like you’ve just told a joke. “Decidedly not.”

“Oh.” You blink, trying to process. “How do you deal with it?”

Yoongi makes a face, like he’s never thought about it before. “We just communicate, I guess. Be respectful even when we don’t necessarily understand. And, like, Namjoon watches porn, and surprisingly reads quite a bit of erotica—”

“Okay, okay,” you cut him off. “I don’t need all the details.”

He huffs a dry laugh at your discomfort. “It’s not always easy, sometimes it’s frustrating for both of us. But we make it work. We love each other.”

You chew a little at the inside of your cheek, and then you can’t hold in the question any longer. “Is it weird that the idea doesn’t bother me? Jimin said it was a huge issue with his ex. Like, does that make me on the… spectrum?”

Yoongi shrugs. “I mean, you might be? But not necessarily? I don’t know, sex matters different amounts to everyone. Some people don’t mind not having it that often. You don’t have to put a label on it unless you want to, you know?”

“Yeah, makes sense.” You nod slowly as you digest the idea. “Thanks, Yoongi. I appreciate the education.”

His only answer at first is a noncommittal hum, and then he points a finger at the few inches of wine in the bottle you left sitting on the coffee table. “Gonna finish that?”

“It’s all yours,” you say. “Consider it atonement for going to first base on the couch.”

Yoongi grabs the bottle by the neck and immediately drains it. “Apology accepted,” he grunts as he sets it back down. “And I’m sorry I snapped at you.” He extends his bag of chips in your direction and you happily reach in for the biggest handful you can manage.

~*~

During your next movie night, Jimin can’t keep his hands to himself.

They pet up your thighs, your legs draped over his, then slide up to your hips, fingertips tracing patterns over the waistband of your leggings and toying at the hem of your shirt.

His mouth has a similar problem: he leans in to press kisses along the line of your jaw, then down the slope of your neck, sucking delicately at the spot that makes your nipples tighten and sends a shiver through you.

“You’re missing the movie,” you remark, raking a hand through his peachy-pink hair, shadowed at the roots where his natural color has started to grow in. He’s typically good about keeping himself restrained until the credits roll, but you’re barely halfway through Pride & Prejudice, haven’t even cracked a second bottle yet.

“Fuck the movie,” he growls against your skin, and you bite back a whimper when his teeth scrape over your neck. You can’t ignore the way your core is starting to ache from his insistent mouth.

His lips find yours again, and you giggle softly into him. “You’re in a mood.”

“Just been thinking about you,” he murmurs between kisses. It surprises you a little when he suddenly pulls back so he can look you in the eyes. “Should we— do you want to go to my room?”

The air hangs still and heavy between you, and you worry at your bottom lip for a moment. “Are you sure?” When he nods, dark brown eyes blinking up at you, your mouth turns up at the corner. “I’d rather we not traumatize any more roommates if we can help it.”

You lean over to pause the movie before sliding off his lap and getting to your feet, and then you reach your hands out for his and pull him up next to you. “Come on.”

Jimin’s bedroom is so perfectly him that it relaxes you, feather-soft comfort every time you step inside. His bed isn’t made, because it never is, the thick white duvet pushed down on one side where he stumbled out from beneath it this morning. He keeps it dark, blackout curtains drawn to support his night owl lifestyle, and the room is bathed in the warm glow of fairy lights he’s strung up along the ceiling. A myriad of posters and art prints and polaroids are taped to the walls, some beautiful, others sentimental— he even managed to coax you into tearing a few of his favorites out of your sketchbook. You still don’t think they’re anything special, but nevertheless, it makes your heart squeeze in your chest to see them on display with everything else. Like they belong here in this room, like you do too.

The door clicks as it shuts behind him, and then his mouth is on yours again, kissing you dizzy while he backs you up until your knees hit the edge of the bed. He guides you to lay down, and his hand slips beneath you to drag you up the bed with him as he crawls over you.

His hands come up to tug at your shirt. “Can I take this off?” he breathes.

You nod, staring up at him and not quite able to believe any of this is real. “You can do anything you want to me.” With a smile, he lifts the hem of your shirt, and you sit up a little so he can pull it the rest of the way off.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Jimin murmurs against your skin as he kisses down your neck, over your collarbones, then down between the valley of your breasts. His hands slip down to palm at your tits, squeezing gently, and he mouths at the stiff peaks of your nipples over the thin fabric of your bralette. You untangle briefly, only for as long as it takes to get the lacy thing off of you entirely and tossed over the edge of the bed.

You shiver a little as the air hits your bare skin, and then the warmth of his body covers you again, and he ducks down to close his mouth over your nipple and suck. The plush softness of his lips and the firm suction combined are enough to make your eyes roll back, and your spine arches up beneath him when he drags his tongue in a circle over the sensitive bud.

“Shit,” you groan. Your hands fist in the fabric of his shirt, and it feels like your only tether to reality.

It’s easy to believe it’s the waiting, the anticipation of this moment, that makes every little touch light you up like a live wire now. But something tells you it will always feel like this.

While his lips shift to your other breast, one hand slides down to cup your clothed pussy, rubbing gentle friction into your center. You circle your hips to press yourself against the flat of his palm, sighing at the brush of indirect contact and the heat that thrums through you from the pressure on your clit.

You feel Jimin’s weight shift on the mattress as he kneels next to you, and his lips find yours again at the same time his hand slips into your leggings, two fingers tracing the seam of your panties to make you whine softly. If he couldn’t tell before, he must be able to now: how wet you are, enough to drench the lacy fabric so it clings to your cunt, dripping arousal to show how badly you want him.

He’s surprisingly forceful when he tugs the damp fabric to the side, but so gentle again as he slips one finger and then a second into your tight heat. Your mouth drops open as he curls them up to rub at your g-spot, stroking into you over and over while your cunt squeezes tight around him.

Your head drops back on the pillow and you groan. “Oh, fuck, Jimin.”

You can hear how soaked your pussy is as he pumps into you, and the wet squelch of his fingers working inside you would make you shy if it didn’t feel so overwhelmingly perfect. The pleasure edges your breathing with soft sounds, and Jimin swallows them when he kisses you again.

He shifts slightly for a better angle and then you feel the heel of his palm grind down against your clit. It’s enough to make your hips buck up under him with every press of his hand, his insistent touch shooting sparks of arousal through you.

It’s been so long since anyone has touched you, and you’ve wanted this with him so badly for so long, but even still, it surprises you how quickly he can bring you to the edge.

“Jimin,” you break the kiss to gasp against his mouth, unable to believe how close you already are. Close enough that all you can do is cling, to any part of him you can reach: his hair, his shoulders, the fabric of his shirt. “Jimin, Jimin, fuck.”

“Look so fuckin’ good like this,” he groans, and he says the next part softer, like it’s just for him. “My girl looks so pretty on my fingers.”

The pace of his movements doesn’t falter, nor does the heavy weight of his palm as he ducks down to capture your nipple in his mouth again. Your pussy pulses around him, sucking him in to the last knuckle with each thrust of his hand, and your nails dig desperately into his forearm as you feel your orgasm crest.

His teeth graze lightly over the tight bud of your breast, and it’s enough. With a final whine, the arousal that’s been coiling inside you snaps, and your back arches up off the bed as you come hard on his fingers.

Jimin’s fingers keep stroking you through it, the flat of his palm rubbing rough circles against your clit again and again and again and it feels like you might never stop coming. You moan as it rolls over you, wave after wave, until his touch is so overwhelming that you have to pull your trembling thighs together, and he finally relents.

Spent, your body sinks heavy into the bed, and you can’t help the dazed giggle that flutters out as afterglow starts to bloom behind your ribs.

Jimin hovers over you, dropped down onto his forearms, full lips pressing indiscriminately to your flushed skin, all over. You snake a hand through his hair to pull his mouth up to yours, and he kisses you slow and deep.

When you break apart, you tip your forehead to his. “Can I touch you?” you ask, still a little breathless.

“Please,” he murmurs, lips brushing against yours again before he pulls away with a small, embarrassed smile. “My pants hurt.”

You sit up on your knees and he does too, and you bite down on your lip as you reach for the hem of his shirt. He helps you pull it over his head, and then there he is, beautiful as ever. Familiar, yet somehow all new.

Jimin shivers and whines when your hands run across the bare skin of his chest, teasing over his soft brown nipples before starting to trace a path down to his stomach. You lean in to kiss him, and he outright groans into your mouth when your fingertips tease along the band of his boxers that peeks out over his jeans. You gently bring your palms to his hips to guide him, and he’s pliant for you, shifting backwards at your suggestion until he’s seated, leaned back against the headboard.

Your hands shake slightly as you unbutton and push down his jeans, and you hear him exhale a ragged sigh of relief. He’s so hard, you can understand why the tight denim must have been painful: his dick is still straining even now, a thick outline pressed into the fabric of his underwear, and there’s a dark patch that clings to his tip where he’s started to leak precum.

You tug his boxers down with enough force that his length smacks heavy against his stomach, and he makes a strangled noise in response, eyes squeezing shut. His hips jerk violently beneath you, and your jaw goes slack as you watch his cock twitch, and keep twitching, until a steady pool of milky gloss has leaked out over his stomach.

“Shit,” Jimin hisses as he comes practically untouched, and he gasps for air to try to speak. “Fuck fuck fuck— ‘msorry, thought I could—”

You can see him starting to spiral, can feel the panic starting to heat up inside his body, so you take his face in both of your hands. “Jimin.”

“This has never happened before— fuck, I don’t— this is so—”

“Jimin.” When you say his name again, firmer this time, he goes quiet, his eyes still shut tight. “Look at me,” you murmur, and he does, lashes slow-blinking open. “It’s okay. Okay?” Your gaze searches his, trying to convince him. “I like everything about you. Everything you do. You’re perfect.”

Clearly trying to steady his breathing, his chest shudders with effort, and you gently circle your thumb at the hinge of his jaw. He makes a soft noise as his eyelids drop shut again, his cheek pressing into your hand, letting you carry a little bit more of his weight.

It’s quiet for a moment, and his voice is unsure when he speaks. “There’s tissues… in the—”

“Can I take care of it?” you interrupt to ask, your voice low. His eyes blink open again to look at you, and a dark glint flickers there as the unsaid meaning of your question washes over him.

“Y-yeah.”

You take your time moving down the bed to settle between Jimin’s thighs, and you stare up at him, waiting for any indication that he wants you to stop or doesn’t feel comfortable. But he just swallows hard, his adam’s apple jerking in his throat, and nods.

Leaning down, you drag your tongue in steady, long strokes over the flat plane of his stomach to lick the mess up.

As you get the last of it, you’re surprised to feel his hand cup the back of your head. You don’t resist when he pulls you up for a kiss, then licks into your mouth to taste himself, the salt and slick of his cum sliding between your tongues.

When you break apart to swallow, Jimin’s voice is a whisper. “That okay?”

You nod, unable to bite back your smile. “You’re… really fucking hot.”

He smirks as he finds your lips again. “So are you.” The next kiss is sweeter, and then he pulls back. “If you want, we can keep— or I can go down— I don’t want—” He can’t finish any of his half-started thoughts, and you smile, lovingly running your palms over his thighs, back and forth.

You want him so badly, more than anything, but you try to breathe through it. You can see the wheels spinning in his head, that self-critical flash in his eyes, the same furrow in his brow that creases when he gets frustrated with himself.

“I’m not saying no because I don’t want you,” you preface. “But I just don’t want you to feel stressed or get in your head about it. I want it to feel good, and I’m in no rush. Next time, okay?”

His lips are still a little pouted, but he nods, and you lean in to sling your arms around his neck. “C’mere.”

You tug him down to the mattress, and your half-naked bodies fit together like puzzle pieces, hands tracing gentle patterns over bare skin as you kiss.

When you eventually end up with your cheek pressed to his chest, you listen to the sound of his heartbeat settling, his breathing evening out. You speak softly in the quiet of his room. “My roommate’s doing an exhibition on Friday. Will you come with me? I’ve been promised there will be free booze.”

Jimin tightens his grip on your waist, his voice slurring like he’s half-asleep. “Mmm, my favorite person and my favorite thing.” There’s a pause, and he sighs. “That sounded bad. Promise I'm not an alcoholic.”

“I know,” you laugh, dragging your lips over his collarbone, then grunting a little noise of frustration as reality starts to set in. “I have class early tomorrow. I should go before I fall asleep here.”

He whines his disapproval, but when you glance up you can see the fight going out of him, his eyelids starting to flutter closed. You lean up for one, two, three more kisses before you force yourself out of bed to find your bra and your shirt. “I’ll see you Friday?”

“Mmkay.” He inhales deep, like he’s coming up for air. “Text me when you make it home safe?”

“I will,” you promise, and you do.

~*~

Namjoon’s exhibition is laughably fancy for what really just ends up being a room full of gay, overdressed art students. The ridiculous finger foods disappear in minutes— all the broke grad school kids came hungry— but you and Jimin gladly hover around the table of champagne flutes instead, giggles sparkling between you like the bubbles that fizz in your glasses.

You’ve been trying to drag him away to actually take in the art, but he keeps necking his drinks. “You’re supposed to sip it, you demon!” you chide with a laugh as he does it again, picking up a fresh glass and throwing all of it back in one gulp.

He smirks slightly as he shakes his head. “It’s more fun this way. Try it.”

You roll your eyes, hiding the grin that threatens to stretch over your face in the rim of your drink before following suit. He’s not wrong: a rush of warmth creeps up your neck as you swallow, the world softening around you, and it’s made sweeter by the kiss Jimin leans in for. When he pulls back you can see his face is flushing, too.

“Come on, Mr. Park,” you murmur, your free hand intertwining with his as you set the empty glass down and retrieve another. “Take me on a tour.”

Jimin grabs another flute too and then you’re off, and he actually manages to drink this one slowly as you weave through the gallery, the click of your footsteps underscoring the gentle classical music that floats through the speakers. You lean into Jimin in comfortable silence as you take in each art piece, sipping delicately at your champagne, occasionally hooking your chin over his shoulder just for the thrill of being close to him.

“These are all beautiful,” he hums appreciatively as you stand in front of a wide, impressionist landscape, swirls of color that shift into shapes when you step far enough away, but dissolve into unidentifiable blobs of thick-textured paint up close. “Namjoon did a really good job curating.”

“Mm-hmm,” you nod, but your eyes are on Jimin and everything else pales in comparison. He’s dressed up for the occasion, tight black jeans and a white button-down with a leather jacket thrown on over top. His hair is styled, pretty pink strands pushed back off his forehead, and his asymmetrical silver earrings glimmer in the low lighting. The result is so stunning you’ve had a hard time focusing on anything but him tonight.

A thought that’s been running through your mind all evening resurfaces again as you swallow the last of your glass of champagne.

“They should put you in a gallery.” You didn’t necessarily plan to say the thought out loud, but say it you do. Jimin quirks an eyebrow and you decide to double down. “But not here. Somewhere better.”

“The Met?” he guesses, teasing.

“The Louvre,” you counter, and he outright laughs, his head tipping back.

“The Louvre?!”

“You heard me,” you giggle, your body pressed against his side. “You’re art.”

Releasing your hand, he wraps his free arm around you to pull you into his chest, the smile still lingering over his face. “And you,” he murmurs, “are drunk.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t mean it.” Your voice is muffled slightly as you speak into his collarbone.

You tilt your head up for a kiss, and it seems to surprise both of you how quickly the atmosphere changes. It might be the more-than-several glasses of champagne to blame, or the fact that you’ve found yourselves in a corner, hidden away from the rest of the exhibition’s patrons, but the soft spark that ignites between you quickly grows into a licking flame at the touch of your lips. It’s heat-blush passion as your mouths move against each other, and you’re trying to keep quiet despite the weight of it, heavy in your core, this shared, unspoken need.

“Jimin,” you breathe into him, overwhelmed by all that he is.

He shifts, nosing at your jawline as he speaks into your ear. “Do you want to go somewhere?”

The suggestion makes you a little unsteady on your feet, your high heels threatening to topple over, and he catches you with a hand to your waist when you falter. “Like, somewhere here?”

“Too far to go all the way home,” he purrs, the hand on your body squeezing gently. “And you look too good.”

Your head swims as he kisses you again, and he pries the empty glass out of your hand, setting it down on the nearest table with his. A hand returns to the small of your back, then slips lower, cupping your ass through the fabric of your black dress. His mouth paints a smile over yours, and you grab his wrist. “Follow me.”

Stumbling your way through the gallery, trading laughs under your breath like confidants and kisses when no one is looking, you lead him back to the coat check closet at the front, thankfully left vacant by whichever freshman had been roped in to the thankless job. With a final glance over your shoulder to make sure you’re unseen, you push the door open and tug Jimin inside after you.

As soon as the coat check door closes again, he has you pressed against it, his tongue slipping hungrily into your mouth. His hands skirt up the curve of your hips as he slots a thigh between your legs, firmly pushing up the hem of your dress to grind into your clothed center.

You both freeze where you are at the sound of a moan, one that very distinctly does not come from either of you.

Jimin tries and fails to suppress a nervous laugh. Unable to make out anything in the dark, you reach your hand out, smacking aimlessly at the wall next to you until you find a lightswitch and flip it on.

“What the fu—” The man who made the noise in question flings a hand over his face at the sudden intrusive wash of fluorescents, but you’d know him from his voice alone. Kim Taehyung still has one hand gripped tight to the metal bar of a coat rack, back arched and legs spread for whoever his latest victim is, with his pants and boxers shoved down to his ankles.

Before your alcohol-soaked brain can put together a smug comment about how Taehyung needs to get his ass eaten at home like a normal human, Jimin’s voice surprises you.

“Hobi?”

You clap a hand over your mouth as you realize the man on his knees, pulling his tongue off Taehyung’s rim with a look of utter confusion, is none other than Jung Hoseok. His eyes are wide as dinner plates as his head snaps up to take the two of you in.

“Jimin?!”

“Oh my god.” You start to laugh so hard your knees buckle, and Jimin has to wrap his arms around you to keep you upright. “How the fuck did you two even meet?!”

“Do we really need to have this discussion now?!” Taehyung growls, and it only makes you laugh harder.

“Come on, come on—” Jimin is collapsing into giggles himself as he fumbles for the handle behind you. He simultaneously attempts to pull you off the door so he can swing it open. “Let’s leave them to it.”

You smack the lights off again as you make your escape, Jimin’s grip still hugging tight around your waist as you laugh until your lungs nearly give out. The lobby is thankfully empty, all the attendees pressed deeper into the gallery, so you loop your arms over his shoulders as you recover and pull his mouth back down to yours, unable to stop yourself.

“Let me take you home,” you manage to say in the space between kisses. Your tongue feels heavy when you speak; his is champagne-sweet. “Joon and Yoongi will be here for a while.”

Jimin’s agreement hums, buzzing on your lips. “Wanna take the train?”

You’re grateful the subway car you stumble into is empty, because the pull of Jimin’s mouth is too magnetic to be ignored. You don’t think you could stop kissing him if you tried.

It’s practically a race back to your apartment once you emerge from the station, partially to get out of the cold night air, though you hardly feel it with Jimin’s jacket slung over your shoulders and your body flushed hot from alcohol and desire. As you climb the four flights to your walk-up, both of you giggling and gripping tight to the banister, the spiral of the stairs sends your world spinning. You feel dizzy-drunk on wine and laughter and lust alike, and maybe something more. Something you don’t have words for yet.

It takes you three tries to get your keys in the door, and when you finally manage to get it open, you kick your shoes off and make a beeline for your bedroom, dragging Jimin along after you, hand-in-hand. Thankfully he has the foresight to remember to shut the door behind you, because all you can think about is him: the rich musk of his cologne, the taste of his tongue, the warm blush of his skin under your palms.

The leather jacket hits the floor and you step over it, walking backwards as he licks into your open mouth, shameless.

You nearly fall over when you bump up against the bed and almost lose your balance, and then you reach for the buttons of his shirt at the same time he goes for your dress. The two of you laugh your frustrations against each other as your arms tangle and get in the way.

“You first!” you insist, and he relents, lets you unbutton the starched white fabric of his button-down so he can shrug out of it. Your fingers move to undo his belt and then he takes over, impressively coordinated enough to be able to kiss you while kicking his jeans the rest of the way off, stripped down now to his black boxer-briefs. He pulls your dress up over your head, and then your barely-clothed bodies press together all the way down, the ache in your core now an undeniable throb.

Jimin takes your face in his hands and kisses you again, and you slip one hand between your hips and his to palm at him, earning an appreciative hiss. You rub at him over the front of his briefs, teasing, then dip your touch beneath his waistband.

His cock hangs heavy between his legs, but he’s not quite hard yet, maybe from the cold, so you take him in your hand and start to pump. For fear of too much dry friction you try to go slow, and he groans into your mouth as you twist your wrist a little to circle your thumb over his frenulum.

He buries his face in your neck, and you can feel the heat of his embarrassment bloom against your skin. “Sorry— gimme a second.”

Tilting your head, you press a kiss to his temple. “Don’t apologize. D’you wanna try laying down?”

When he nods, you release your grip on him so he can sink down onto the bed, crawling backwards up to the pillows. Knelt down on the mattress, you settle in the space he makes for you, thighs spread and knees tipped open, and you push his briefs down enough to free all of him.

You hook your thumb and index finger under the head of his dick to pull it flush against his stomach, allowing you better access to drag your tongue in little kitten licks up his shaft. Your other hand moves to massage gently at his balls as you take his tip into your mouth and let it bulge against your cheek, let him slip against the soft wall there to make saliva pool on your tongue, sloppy on purpose.

It’s still not working, not really, and when your gaze flits up to him again, Jimin’s face is pulled into a grimace. Heat rushes up your neck, and you pull your mouth off him and immediately right yourself. You shift backwards a little on your knees as your pulse starts to race. Does he not want this? Did you misread some sign, or push him too far?

Jimin must be able to read the look in your eyes, because he groans as he presses his face into his hands. “It’s not you. Think I drank too much, I don’t— i-it feels good, I—it just—”

You’re not exactly sober yourself. The receding white noise of panic makes it hard to think, hard to know what to say. “I-it’s okay. It’s okay.”

“I just—” he tries again. “I really want to do this, I don’t know why— it’s fucking embarrassing.” The blankets muffle the sound as his palms smack flat against the bed on either side of him in clear frustration. You move out from between his legs, still trying to catch up, and a muscle in his jaw jumps as he pulls his boxer-briefs back over himself.

“Jimin,” you murmur. The bed creaks when you shift to lay next to him, to tuck into his side, and you reach up to run a hand through his hair, a little sticky with the product holding it in place. An anxious, thrumming quiet settles over both of you as his eyes flutter closed.

The words finally come to you in the silence; you can only hope they’ll reach him. “I had so much fun with you tonight. That doesn’t go away.” The crease between his brows softens a little, so you keep talking. “It’s not your only chance, okay? I’m not leaving. I’m staying right here.” Your free hand slips into his on the bed next to you. “And I want you with me.”

He sniffs a little, so quiet you nearly miss it, then turns in towards you. Your noses bump together and your mouth turns up at the corners as you continue. “It’s late, and I… can’t promise there isn’t more ass-eating waiting for you at home. Do you want to sleep here?”

Jimin’s eyes blink open, glassy, and then he nods.

“Come on,” you say softly, sitting up and tugging on your still-joined hands. “How about we shower?”

In the bathroom, you run the water scalding hot, and when you both step in you nudge Jimin forward to stand under it first, then press against him from behind. Your hands wrap around his waist to slide over his stomach as you tilt up to reach his ear when you speak. “This okay?”

He nods, hums a little, and you move your hands up over the whole of his body. Hard lines and soft curves, a work of art you know so well, you can see it when you close your eyes as you map his skin with your fingertips. You nuzzle into the place where his neck and shoulder meet, then press a kiss there. “I’m right here,” you say again, not even sure if he hears you.

But his head turns, and you feel one of his hands slide over yours on his chest. “Will you wash my hair?” he asks softly, and you tip forward to bring your mouth to his, convinced you’d do anything he asked of you.

It’s intimate, the way you take your time running shampoo and then conditioner through his silky pink strands, dragging your nails over his scalp and applying gentle pressure that makes him sigh prettily in response. Jimin steps further under the showerhead both times to rinse the product out, and if a few tears slip down his cheeks, they’re lost to the spray of the water where you can’t tell the difference.

But he does manage the ghost of a smile when you reach to grab your washcloth and he gets there first. “Your turn.”

Once your body and then his are scrubbed and rinsed clean, you shut the water off and grab thick, fluffy towels that you dry off and wrap up in. In the dim light of your room, you pull on an oversized t-shirt and boyshorts, then dig out a pair of sweatpants from your dresser. They’re fairly baggy on you, but they fit Jimin perfectly, and the image of him in something of yours makes your heart squeeze tight in your chest.

You run two glasses under the kitchen tap that you set out to ward off any potential hangovers, and you even manage to find a spare toothbrush for him to use. When he emerges from the bathroom again, still absentmindedly toweling his damp hair, you’re sitting on the bed with your feet tucked under you.

“Do you want to watch something?” you offer gently.

He shakes his head as he stifles a yawn. “‘Mtired. Think I just wanna sleep.”

You pat the bedspread next to you, an invitation. “Then let’s sleep.”

Under the covers, you curl up together, soft and warm from the shower, scented lavender and mint from your body wash and toothpaste. Jimin’s legs tangle with yours, an arm wrapping over your waist, and you press your cheek against the hard plane of his chest with a small sigh.

You listen as his breathing slows, each inhale a little further apart from the last, to the point where you think he’s fallen asleep. You feel yourself start to follow after him, and the last thing you hear before you’re dragged all the way down is Jimin inhaling deep, then mumbling softly into your hair. “Thank you. For everything.”

~*~

Light streams in between the cracks of the window blinds, painting warm shapes over your eyelids that gently wake you. You sigh and stretch as you slowly come all the way up from dreaming, your eyes still heavy-lidded. When you roll over with a soft grunt, you find Jimin fast asleep there, his face smushed into the pillow, one arm slung lazily over you.

The corner of your mouth pulls up, and you have to fight the urge to dot kisses all over his face, deciding to let him sleep instead. It takes some maneuvering, but you manage to roll out from under his arm without waking him and slip quietly out of bed, easing the bedroom door closed behind you.

It’s early, and the apartment is still, washed in morning gleam and the gentle hum of New York City traffic on the streets outside.

You stumble into the kitchen with a stifled yawn, swinging open the fridge and leaning down to retrieve a pack of bacon and the half-empty carton of eggs. Humming quietly to yourself, you dig a pan out and set it on the stove to heat.

Arms slide around your waist, making you jump a little before you melt back as Jimin nuzzles into the crook of your neck. You can feel his body through your t-shirt, still warm from sleep and bedsheets he must’ve only just crawled out from under.

Not quite graceful, you turn in his arms and loop yours around his neck to seek a kiss. “Good morning,” you murmur, your voice hoarse on your first spoken words of the day. “How are you feeling?”

Jimin’s mouth is still slurred from waking up when he answers. “‘Mgood. You look good.” His gaze roams down your body and back up, as if to take in your oversized shirt, your bare legs, your hair still messy from sleep. “So cute like this.”

You scrunch your nose slightly as you smile up at him. “Want breakfast?”

A heat starts to pool between your legs as his hands slide further down your back. He pushes your shirt up so he can grip your ass, the thin fabric of your underwear the only thing separating his skin from yours.

“In a bit.”

You can’t help but squeak when, in one swift move, he bends his knees and lifts you off the ground. Impulsively, your legs spread to wrap over his hips, thighs squeezing tight to hold on, and your arms cling around his neck as laughter flutters in your chest. Before you can act on the urge to bury your face in his shoulder, his mouth finds yours again, and the way he kisses you, hungry and deep, makes nothing else in the world matter.

He carries you back to bed, nudging open the door he didn’t quite close all the way with his shoulder, then using a foot to push it shut again. Your muscles unclench when he sits down with you in his lap, and you unwrap your legs from around him, your knees sinking soft into the bed.

You can’t quite shake the thoughts of the night before. “Jimin,” you start, “we don’t have to do this if you don’t—”

“Want to,” his voice is low, ragged edges from sleep. “Doing it ‘cause I want to. I want you. Do you want me?”

You nod, leaning back to look at him, your arms still twined over his neck. “More than anything.”

There’s no rush this time as he shifts backwards up the bed and you crawl over him to settle into his lap again. No tension that’s been building all night, no alcohol buzzing in your systems, no urgency. Just your bodies, half-dressed in sleep clothes, intertwining like they were made to fit together.

Your kisses are sweet and unhurried as Jimin’s hands slip beneath your oversized t-shirt, delicate fingers tracing up your waist. He cups your breasts in his palms, squeezing gently as he licks into your mouth. When he rolls a nipple between his fingers, your breath hitches, sparks of arousal shooting all the way down to your toes. A weight blossoms in your core as you reach for the hem of your shirt to pull it over your head, and you shiver a little in the morning air.

“Beautiful,” Jimin says quietly, reverently, and you take his face in your hands.

“You are too,” you murmur, your eyes searching his. “So beautiful.” Your hands slip down his body as he kisses you again, your fingertips outlining the contours of his chest, gently brushing over his nipples to make him groan into your mouth.

Jimin’s hands come to rest at the curve of your hips as your mouths move together, where he teases his touch under the band of your boyshorts. He pulls back just far enough to ask, “Can I take these off?” and you nod.

You shimmy the thin fabric down your thighs, dropping onto your ass with a laugh so he can tug them the rest of the way off, one ankle at a time. As you sit up on your knees again, his hands come to grip your thighs, and he shifts lower on the bed until he’s laying flat on his back next to you.

“Wanna eat you out,” he murmurs softly.

“Yeah?” You bite down on a small smile.

He hums. “Can I— will you please, uh… sit on my face?”

You can’t help but giggle. No one has ever asked so politely. “Yeah, okay.”

It’s slow, languid, the way his full lips close delicately around your clit when you settle over him, how he alternates with lazy passes of his tongue, not unlike the way he kisses you. The pleasure pulls your spine arched and your head tips back, palms pressing flat to the bed beneath you.

“Jimin,” you gasp, “baby, feels so fucking good.”

His tongue is heavy as it drags down your folds, thick when he sinks it into your cunt to taste the slick arousal that pours out of you and drips down his chin. Your hips rock into his mouth, his nose inadvertently bumping against your clit as he licks you like he doesn’t want to waste a drop. Your walls cling tight, crammed up full of him.

With a slurp and a gasp for breath, he withdraws, his tongue made hot from being buried inside of you, trailing wet warmth as he licks back up your pussy to lap at your clit again. Your arms threaten to give out when he sucks the sensitive bud into his mouth, lips pulsing an insistent rhythm that makes you moan and writhe above him.

“Jimin, Jimin.” The pleasure is decadent, thick, wine and honey, made sweeter by the beautiful boy pressed between your thighs. Emotion bubbles up inside of you to twist with your pleasure, and you tighten a hand in his rose-blush hair as you moan again, nearly a sob this time, a dam breaking.

Jimin hums against you, fingertips digging into the soft skin of your thighs, like he can tell you’re at the edge without you having to say a word, and it’s enough to send you tumbling over it.

“Oh fuck baby, yes, fuck.” Your toes curl tight over the bedsheets as your pussy flutters, throbs, gushes. Your vision whites out as you come hard enough to make your thighs shake, hard enough that your stomach muscles tremble with the effort of holding you up. Jimin’s mouth works you through it, tongue stroking flat and slow to coax pulse after pulse out of you, until everything melts into shaky aftershocks and your thighs clench around him, over-sensitive.

He pulls back when you start to squirm, lips smacking wetly on a final kiss to your pussy, and heat flushes your face at the sound of it. Your limbs feel heavy as lead as you slip off from on top of him and collapse down onto the mattress with a floaty sigh, your pulse still thudding brightly in your ears.

You’re only distantly aware of the way the bed shifts as Jimin slides down next to you. You follow his touch on instinct, turning into him when he pulls you close and presses a kiss to your hairline. Heartbeat still slamming in your chest, mind hazy with morning orgasm glow, you hum contentedly as your eyes flutter open to find him palming at a thick bulge tenting his– well, your sweatpants.

“Looks like it’s cooperating today.” Jimin’s voice is equal parts relieved and embarrassed.

With a lazy smile, you hook a finger in his waistband, tugging playfully. “What do you want to do about it?”

He laughs hoarsely. “I would love to finally fuck you, if you’ll have me.”

“I don’t want anybody else.” The thought spills out before you can worry if it’s too soon to say it, but he just smiles and leans in to kiss you.

At Jimin’s guidance, you lay back against the pillows, a couple of which he grabs to slot under your hips. “There’s condoms in the nightstand,” you say softly, and anticipation thrums in your chest, twinning with your still-racing pulse as you watch him retrieve one, then step out of his sweatpants to roll it on.

He climbs back onto the bed to hover over you, and your breaths come shallow into each other’s mouths. You kiss quietly at the precipice of this moment, like you’re afraid it might not be real, a dream you could wake up from at any second.

“Thank you.” Jimin’s low voice sends a ripple through you. “For waiting for me.”

You press a hand to his cheek, your eyes trying to take all of him in at once. “It wasn’t waiting, Jimin. Really. I’ve loved every second with you. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing.”

“I’m so glad I met you,” he murmurs.

The head of his cock teases your entrance, and you spread your thighs wider, pulling your legs up towards your chest. Still sensitive from your first orgasm, you can’t bite back the moan that spills out of you as he sinks into your tight heat with a cock thick enough to split you open. “Fuck, Jimin.”

There’s a pause when he’s pressed all the way in, his body covering yours, your hands clutching at the broad sweep of his back. He exhales a soft, disbelieving laugh as he looks down to see himself buried in you to the hilt. “God, you’re so tight. Does it hurt?”

You shake your head— you’re so soaked from his tongue and your arousal that it all just feels like melting, a pulsating heat between your legs. When he presses another kiss to your lips, he circles his hips, and you both groan at the feeling.

Jimin’s hands grip your thighs as he shifts and starts to move, starts fucking into you with long, slow strokes that make your pussy flutter, as if to urge him in deeper.

“It’s good?” he checks in again, voice tight, clearly holding himself back.

“So good, baby,” you breathe, “please fuck me.” A smirk flashes over his mouth at your manners, so polite when you ask to take it, and then he snaps his hips into you and you keen. “Fuck, please, just like that.”

He does it again and again, hands pressing down on your thighs to keep you folded up under him as he fucks you. The angle is just right for the thick head of his cock to pound into your g-spot with every stroke, and your back arches as your walls grip tight to him.

Jimin echoes your gasps with his own, swearing under his breath as you squeeze around him. He’s thrusting deep-deep now, and your hips shove up towards him for all of it, your thighs trembling as you take every inch. You’re dripping down his length every time he pulls back, wet enough to soak the sheets beneath you.

The pleasure, the pressure as he fills you up is so overwhelming that your hands reach, clinging to anything they can find. A pillow, the bedsheets, the flexing muscles in his forearms. Your moans come unabashedly now, underscored by the slap of skin on skin, the thud of the bedframe knocking into the wall. “Jimin, Jimin, baby.”

“Yeah,” he pants, choked up like he’s close. “Love it when you say my name.”

You sit up a little, folded legs shifting to wrap over his hips, and your hands come to his face to pull his mouth down to yours. His movements stutter as you kiss him breathlessly, and the brush of your tongue over his must be just enough to make him come undone. With a grunt of effort, he thrusts hard into you one final time, and his shoulders shake as he fills up the condom.

You kiss him again and again, your lips pulled into a smile against his as you tangle a hand in his hair, made messy from sleep and sex. Jimin’s body weighs heavy on top of yours as he drops his head to your shoulder, breath coming in short heat-bursts over your collarbone.

“Fuck. Been a minute.” He presses a kiss there, another to your neck, a third to your jaw. “Do you want to keep going?”

Your eyes widen at the question. “I— can you?”

A soft flush paints color in his cheeks, and he’s suddenly a little shy. “Yeah, I can. If you want. Or we can stop.”

You wrap your arms over his shoulders, your noses bumping. “I kinda felt like I was getting close again.”

He smiles. “Then let me finish what I started.” There’s a bit of shuffling as he moves to the edge of the bed to remove and tie up the used condom, then reaches for the box to retrieve another.

As he tears open the foil and rolls it on, you watch and consider all of him. This body that you know from every angle, that you’ve studied like a textbook, that holds the boy who stepped onto the subway and changed your life and made it better. This body, made to be adored, to be respected and cherished and filled up with love. This body, chosen to be shared with you, to be held by you, to be near you.

That’s all you want, you realize as he rolls over, brown eyes blinking sweetly at you. This body, and all that it holds: the darkness and the light, the pain and the beauty, the soul that so perfectly fits with yours.

“Turn over for me?” he asks softly. “I want to spoon.”

This round is easier, slower, your bodies molding together, shaky from effort and sensitivity. You twist over your shoulder, tipping your head up for a kiss that turns into a shared gasp as he presses into you again. Your walls are swollen enough to be tender, and the stretch of him, the way he fills you up entirely, makes your eyes roll back.

As he starts to grind his hips into you, his hand snakes down between your thighs before you even have to ask. You hook a leg over his to allow him better access and gasp when his cock slides even deeper into you from the new angle.

“So good,” you manage as two of his fingers work circles into your clit, matching the same slow-stroke pace. His tongue slips into your mouth, and with his cock rubbing insistently against your front wall, it doesn’t take much. Pleasure overwhelms you in a hot rush as he so easily pulls you apart again.

“Jimin.” Your voice is nearly a whisper, your walls starting to pulse. Your head tips back against his shoulder as he fucks and rubs you through it, his hums of encouragement buzzing through your body, your hips shuddering. “Baby, oh god.”

Jimin’s strokes start to falter, and then he goes still, your cunt aftershock-fluttering around him as he comes again, groaning your name.

A brush of daylight through the blinds makes your eyes heavy, and they drop closed as you lean into him and breathe through the comedown. You don’t know how long you lay there like that until his kisses pull you back earthside, dotting over your forehead, cheeks, nose, jaw. You tilt your head up and he finally finds your lips again.

With a deep grunt of post-sex effort, he rolls over, leaning off the edge of the bed to deal with the second condom. A shiver dots up your spine at the loss of his body next to yours, and you tuck into his side when he lays down again, throwing an arm over his chest to better nuzzle into the crook of his neck. The heat of his palm makes you sigh as his hand rubs gentle circles against your back.

Something cracks open inside of you, warm like his touch, like the sunlight bleeding through the window. You can feel the rapid pace of his heartbeat under your hand, and it’s everything, all of him, that makes the words rise up in your throat, undeniable.

“Jimin,” you breathe, “I l—”

A loud bang on your bedroom door makes you flinch, and you roll over with a grimace as Yoongi shouts from the other side. “If you’re finished, just so you know, you left a fucking pan on the stove. Could’ve burnt the house down while you were in there deflowering each other.”

Your jaw drops open and Jimin’s eyes go wide, and you collapse against each other in a silent rush of laughter. You’re surprised when Yoongi’s voice comes back, a little softer this time. “Also I brought some bagels back from work. If you want any, better hurry before Namjoonie eats them all.”

The charged moment has passed, and the words sink back down inside of you. Making a promise to tell him soon, you wrap yourself tighter around Jimin’s side with a smile. “What do you think?”

He nods thoughtfully. “I’ll never say no to a bagel.”

“Come on then,” you murmur, tilting up for a final hit of affection. The kiss he leaves on your lips makes your heartbeat flutter, like the shudder of a subway car.

#jimin smut #jimin fluff #jimin x reader #jimin x y/n #bts smut #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts fanfic

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sunshinesteviee · 2 years

Text

call it what you want - s.h.

summary: you find yourself on the edge of friendship and something more with steve at a halloween party. for @sparklingsin's spookinktober writing challenge with the prompt "quick, switch costumes with me!" wc: 8.1k wtf warnings: friends to lovers. alcohol consumption. smut!!! 18+!!! f!reader. a/n: this is the longest thing i've ever written and it killed me lol i hope y'all like it. feedback is much appreciated! love u sm. also huge shoutout to @sparklingsin and @familyvideostevie for reading this and helping me out and listening to me complain about this gd fic for weeks i love u so much thanks for putting up w me

Masterlist

Parties weren’t Steve’s thing. Not anymore, anyway. And Halloween parties in particular were definitely crossed off the list, especially after everything that had happened with Nancy a few years ago. He was over Nancy, they were even friends now, but something about the idea of going to another Halloween party stirred up a sick feeling in Steve’s stomach that he wanted to run from. Somehow, though, Robin had managed to convince him that it would be fun.

Really, it hadn’t taken much convincing on Robin’s part — all she had to do was mention you, and Steve was in, though he’d never admit that to her. It was stupid, she thought, the way the two of you were constantly pining for each other, but refusing to do anything about it. She’d heard enough lovesick complaints from her best friends, and decided she’d take it into her own hands. And Halloween seemed like the perfect opportunity. She wasn’t quite sure how yet, but she was sure the night would end at the very least with confessions. She’d make sure of it.

And so, Steve was two drinks deep in a crowded house, filled with more regret than beer. Robin had somehow disappeared after one drink, Eddie was nowhere in sight, and he still had yet to see you. Maybe you’d decided not to come. If so, the whole night would be a waste. He hadn’t missed parties one bit. The stuffy, crowded rooms filled with sweaty bodies pressed against each other as music pounded in his ears, pulsing lights making his head throb.

It didn’t used to be so bad. He used to be the keg king, down shot after shot, maybe get lucky, and still wake up the next day more or less fine. Now, two drinks usually did him in, and he didn’t always like the feeling of being drunk. Of being out of control. To be fair, he’d taken quite a few beatings that had definitely fucked with his head since he’d last been to a proper party. But parties just weren’t enjoyable anymore. Especially when all of his friends had disappeared, and he didn’t know anyone surrounding him.

Tipping the last of his drink into his mouth, Steve crushed the red plastic cup in his hand and tossed it into the trash can nearby that was already almost overflowing. A familiar laugh sounded behind him, a sweet sound above the loud bass, “Whoa there, champ. How many drinks have you had?!”

Steve already had a smile on his face as he turned around, and his jaw nearly hit the floor at the sight of you. You hadn’t ditched. And better yet, you looked fucking gorgeous. He let out an adoring laugh, eyebrows furrowing together, forehead wrinkling as he asked, “Champ?”

“Your costume, silly,” you nodded towards his outfit as you reached out, placing your warm palm against his bicep. Without thinking, Steve leaned into your touch, stepping in closer to you, his hand grazing your hip slightly.

Since it had been a last-minute decision, and since he wasn’t fond of Halloween anyways, Steve had decided to pull his baseball uniform from high school out of his closet. It fit a little tighter than it used to, but would work well enough for one night. The ugly green and orange baseball jersey was tucked into a pair of baseball pants, and he’d even tucked his wild hair underneath a Hawkins high baseball hat. Steve’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment, the soft pink obvious on his pale skin, even in the dim lighting of the house. “Oh, right. Yeah, I think I kinda… knocked it out of the park with this one.”

The snort that left your mouth had Steve smiling again as you clapped a hand over your mouth, “Oh my god. That was fucking awful, Steve. It does look good, though. Can’t believe you’d ruin all of your pretty hair under that hat.”

Steve flushed again, a common occurrence that he couldn’t help when he was around you, and shrugged, “What can I say? I’m dedicated to the costume. I like your costume, too, by the way; you look nice.”

Your eyes lit up at his compliment as you bounced on the balls of your feet nervously, “Yeah? Thanks, Stevie.” You were wearing a short shirt that had “Camp Crystal Lake” printed across the chest, with a picture of a lake underneath it, and a pair of red shorts that were also nearly too short; you were a counselor from one of your favorite horror movies, Friday the 13th. Quite frankly, the costume fit you perfectly, accentuating all of your best features, and you weren’t oblivious to the way his eyes had caught on you when he’d first turned around.

“Yeah! That’s a great movie.”

“I thought you didn’t like horror movies?” you questioned, a teasing tone lacing your words. You and Eddie had had to convince him more than once to watch a horror movie on one of your movie nights, and he usually hid underneath a blanket for more than half the movie.

“Well, no,” Steve huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he narrowed his eyes at you, “But I’ve seen that one, and it wasn’t bad. Do you want a drink?"

When you quickly agreed, Steve’s hand left your back as he pulled back from you. Before you could mourn the warmth of his hand on your skin, though, his hand was reaching toward yours. “C’mon then, babe.”

Without a second thought, your hand slipped into his, fingers slotting together easily. Steve started pulling you through the crowd, weaving between bodies skillfully. The grip he had on your hand, though gentle, was firm, as if you’d be lost forever if he let go. As if the crowds of people would swallow you whole and carry you away from him. He glanced back a few times to make sure you were alright, flashing you a small smile every single time his eyes caught yours.

The alcohol was finally starting to hit Steve, making him feel a bit lighter, though maybe it was just from being near you. Your hand in his was enough to make him feel tipsy. To have him questioning if it was real. He definitely didn’t need to have another drink, not if you were going to be holding his hand like your life depended on it. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, to be close to you, but the alcohol had his senses dialed up. Steve knew that if he wasn’t careful, he might let his real feelings for you slip, and he didn’t want to risk the friendship you had.

Steve shook his head in an attempt to clear it, though the alcohol was making it a bit difficult, and refocused back on you. He gave you a lopsided smile, working to untangle his fingers from yours, “Whaddya want, cutie? Punch? I had two cups and it’s kinda strong because I’m definitely starting to feel it, and—”

“I’ll have punch!” You’d listen to him ramble for hours, but the kitchen was even more packed than the room you’d just been in. You didn’t see Steve drunk, or even tipsy, often, and you adored the way his face flushed red and he started rambling. He’d clearly had just enough to have him feeling good, not enough to tip him over the edge, and it was endearing the way he seemed to let go a little bit.

Not wanting to be away from your side for too long, Steve hurried across the kitchen to get a cup and fill it with punch for you. He pushed by a few people on his way back, trying to be gentler than the asshole who had pushed you, and frowned as some of the drink spilled over the edge of the cup and ran down his fingers. The pout was still on his lips as he approached you, holding the cup out, “Sorry, didn’t mean to spill it. Here you go, babe.”

Taking the cup from him carefully, you smiled gratefully, glad that you hadn’t been the one to cross the kitchen, “Thanks, Stevie. You didn’t get one for yourself?”

“Nah, if I have more I’ll be suffering tomorrow,” he replied. As he talked, Steve lifted his hand that was now covered in the sticky punch, and slipped one of his fingers into his mouth to clean it off. Heat rushed to your cheeks and you stared in disbelief as Steve did it again with another finger. This time, he caught the look on your face and his own eyes went wide as he stared at you in confusion, completely oblivious, “What?”

You nearly choked on your drink, and you quickly shook your head, turning away from Steve so he wouldn’t see the reaction you were having. There was no doubt you were attracted to Steve — how could you not be? He was kind and funny and brave, and treated you better than anyone else ever had. The problem was, he wasn’t your boyfriend, and you were fairly certain he had no intention of that. He was a nice guy to everyone. Just because he called you babe or cutie from time to time, and held your hand or shared blankets with you… that didn’t mean he was interested, and you’d done your best to shove those feelings down. You didn’t want to lose Steve’s friendship above all else, so if you had to pretend your feelings for him were strictly platonic, you could do that. But watching him lick his fingers clean sparked something in your stomach, and made your face feel hot. To be fair, you had already downed a shot with Nancy while the two of you were getting ready, so maybe you could just blame the way your thighs clenched on the alcohol.

Instead of responding, you downed half the cup of punch just in time for Steve to look back at you, a grin breaking out on his face as he chanted teasingly, “Chug, chug, chug!”

You nearly choked again, this time as you laughed, sputtering some of the red liquid out of your mouth, “Steve!” You wiped the back of your hand across your mouth to catch the drops sliding down your chin with a giggle, “Stop itttt.”

“Hey!” Steve’s pout matched yours, eyes narrowing at you, bottom lip pushing out, “How come you can tease me when I’m drinking but I can’t tease you?”

Your eyes may have lingered too long on Steve’s lips as he pouted, but he didn’t notice with the way he was unabashedly returning the favor as your tongue darted out to catch the last of the punch that had spilled past your lips. You wondered what his lips would feel like against yours. If they were as soft as they looked. If he was as good a kisser as the girls from high school claimed. You shook your head, desperately trying to focus so you could answer Steve’s question instead of gawk at him, “No, it’s not allowed.”

Steve laughed hysterically as his arms wrapped over your shoulders so he could pull you into him. He got even more affectionate than normal when he’d had some alcohol. Pressing his lips to your hair, he shook his head, but was totally sincere as he replied, “Okay, fine! I’ll never make fun of you again, cutie. Promise. Should we find Robin? Or maybe Nancy and Jonathan?”

His words had you feeling like you were on fire once more, but you quickly agreed, needing to find someone else to get your mind off of Steve. To think of something other than SteveSteveSteveSteve. Your cheek pressed into the rough fabric of the jersey he was wearing, and you nodded against his chest, “Yeah, let’s go find them.”

“Wait,” he paused, fingers wrapping around your arm as you tried to pull away from his grasp, “you still have…” His sentence trailed off as he licked the pad of his thumb before placing his free hand against your cheek, fingers slipping into the hair just behind your ear. His thumb pressed to your chin, rubbing across your skin carefully in an attempt to get rid of the last of the punch that you’d spilled. Steve’s hand slid down, fingers hooking underneath your chin as his thumb dragged down, pulling on your bottom lip slightly, and you thought for a moment that he was going to kiss you then and there, his eyes flashing with something you hadn’t seen in them before. But as quickly as it came, it disappeared, and Steve was back to his tipsy, bubbly self, “Got it!”

You felt absolutely breathless, frozen in place as Steve pulled away searching the crowd for anyone he recognized. “You coming or what, babe?”

“I, uh–” you shook your head to clear it and moved towards Steve, “Yeah, ‘m coming.”

Finding Robin seemed to be a lost cause, but Nancy and Jonathan had been easy to find, talking to some of Nancy’s friends from high school, drinks in hand. And after talking for a bit, it didn’t take much to pull your friends away to dance with you. You immediately grabbed Steve, feeling bolder than you normally would be, and pulled him into you, chest to chest.

Steve’s heart thudded in his chest as his hands grabbed at your hips at the same time, fingers pressing lightly into the soft skin there as you swayed to the music. Had he been sober and more aware of what he was really doing, he probably would’ve been much more flustered with the way you were pressed up against him. And, had he been sober, he would’ve seen the look Nancy and Jonathan were exchanging knowingly, with Nancy in on Robin’s plan.

–

Robin found you a bit later, the sound of your name being called over the music was enough to get your attention, and you quickly stopped dancing next to Nancy to search the crowd of people surrounding you. It wasn’t hard to find Robin, who was already pretty tall and was wearing heels for her costume. You grinned at her, throwing your arms out to her for a hug as you shrieked her name, “Robin!”

“Hey, hot stuff!” she replied, wrapping you up in her arms, careful of the drink in her hand, “Where have you beeeen? I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”

You scoffed, “Stevie and I have been dancing. Thought maybe you weren’t here,” you said, pushing your bottom lip out into a pout.

“I am! I have been the whole time!” she laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world, “I’m glad I found you! We’re gonna play a game!” She paused and turned to point at Steve who had been watching the two of you, “You too, dingus! You’re gonna play, too.”

“What? No, Robin, I don’t—”

“Please, Stevie?” you asked, cutting him off with wide, pleading eyes, even though you had no idea what the game actually was, or who you’d be playing with.

The alcohol Steve had consumed was now starting to wear off, while it seemed like it was in full swing for you. Had Robin shown up half an hour ago while he was still feeling tipsy, and was actually dancing with you, he would’ve agreed no problem. Now, as he started to think a bit more clearly, he knew that Robin’s drunk ideas usually weren’t her best, and at the very least, he’d make sure you all didn’t get into too much trouble. And, as always, he couldn’t say no to the look you were giving him. “Okay, okay, fine! I’ll play.”

Reaching out to close the distance between the two of you, your fingers curled around Steve’s bicep to pull him closer. You were giving him the brightest smile he’d ever seen as you leaned into his side, “Yay! C’mon, Harrington.”

The smile that pulled at Steve’s lips was involuntary as your hand pushed down his arm and into his own hand, tugging him behind you as you followed Robin through the house, back to the other side where she’d been beforehand with a few other friends. They weren’t really people you knew – mostly Robin’s friends from band, and Eddie and a few of his friends – but you weren’t going to let that stop you from having fun.

“Okay!” Robin clapped her hands, drawing the attention of the small group, “Everyone stand up, get in a circle. We’re playing a new game!”

“What game is it?” Eddie grumbled, ever the contrarian, though he was getting to his feet to do as Robin said.

Steve had also reluctantly joined the circle, standing at one of Robin’s sides, arms crossed over his chest as he waited impatiently for her to explain what was going on. You couldn’t help but giggle at his sullen expression as you glanced at him from the other side of your friend standing between the two of you. Your laugh caught his attention, and he cracked a smile as he glanced over Robin to look at you, eyebrows furrowing together as if he was asking “What’s so funny?”

You shook your head, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth with a smile as you quickly glanced away, trying to focus on what Robin was saying. Only after you’d listen to half of the “rules” did you realize that this was some kind of speed costume changing game, and you groaned, feeling a bit too tipsy for trying to change quickly. Not only that, but this felt like a game that some boy in high school had come up with in hopes to see the girl he liked half naked.

“On the count of three, find someone that you want to change costumes with, and then we’ll time everyone! One… two… three!”

You’d been counting on switching with Robin, considering she was right next to you, and you could probably get into at least some of her clothes. Steve had a similar idea – who else was he going to switch with when he’d already shared clothes with her before? – and turned in her direction. Robin, on the other hand, had a different idea, pointing aggressively at Nancy who was across the circle from her, “Nance! You’re my partner!” She quickly stepped out from between you and Steve and darted over to Nancy without letting her respond.

At the same time, both you and Steve groaned in frustration, “Robin!” She all but cackled, an evil grin on her face that you knew meant this had been her plan all along. You’d told her about your feelings for Steve, but you never expected her to use that information against you.

Still, you turned to Steve with a grin, hooking your arm through his to pull him closer to you, “Guess you’re my partner, Harrington! No backing out now!”

As soon as he realized that partners were being shoved in one of the closets one at a time to change as fast as possible, Steve wished desperately that he could back out. His face burned at just the thought of being in a confined space with you while you took off your clothes. He didn’t have long to think about it, though, as after two other pairs were timed, Robin quickly pushed the two of you in, closing the door behind you and plunging you into complete darkness, except for the small sliver from under the door.

You and Steve weren’t strangers to being close to one another, but this felt like a new level of intimacy, and Steve didn’t know what to do. His heart was pounding in his ears, so loud he was worried you’d be able to hear it, too, considering how close you were. It didn’t seem to affect you as much, though maybe that was just the alcohol, and you giggled with an urgent whisper, “Quick! Switch costumes with me, Steve! I don’t wanna lose!” With that, you pulled your shirt over your head, nearly elbowing Steve in the face with how fast you were moving. Steve immediately averted his eyes to the dark ceiling, wanting to be a gentleman, though he’d be lying if he said he’d never thought about you shirtless.

Frustrated with how slow he was moving, you gave his shoulder a weak push, “C’mon, Stevie!”

Steve huffed, amused with how badly you wanted to win, even though he knew it wasn’t going to happen, “Okay, I’m going!” He started unbuttoning the baseball jersey as fast as he could as you started to shove your shorts down your legs, and suddenly his buttons became a lot more interesting, fingers fumbling with the small pieces of plastic. The closet felt scorching hot as he shrugged off the jersey and quickly pulled the plain white tee he was wearing underneath off as well, shoving it in your direction. “Jesus, babe. Here.”

The shirt you’d been wearing had been quickly dropped to the floor as you pulled Steve’s shirt over your head, immediately engulfed in his scent. He always smelled nice, and this shirt was no exception. As much as you wanted to hug yourself and breathe in Steve’s comforting scent, you also wanted to win, and slipped the jersey on, motioning for Steve to take his pants off next. Your voice was frantic when you spoke again, “Pants! Give ‘em to me!”

The giggling from his friends outside the door was distracting to Steve as he thought of ways he could get back at Robin for this. It was torture, really, being shoved into a small space with the girl he liked while they undressed, but in a situation where he couldn’t touch her without seeming like a perv. He was only snapped out of his thoughts when your hands reached out towards his waist, going for the button on his pants. There was no way he could let that happen, and pushed your hands away, all but shouting, “I got it!”

He quickly shimmied out of his pants and traded them with you for the tiny shorts you’d been wearing. Groaning internally, Steve pulled them up his legs and knew immediately that he looked ridiculous. They barely fit over his thighs, and his ass was nearly hanging out. It was bordering on completely inappropriate to be wearing in public; he might as well just be wearing his boxers with how little it left to the imagination. “These do not fit.”

Just then, you stumbled forward as you tried to get Steve’s baseball pants on, hand catching on his chest for the second time that evening. His hand shot out as if on instinct, grasping at the bare skin of your hip to steady you, even though there wasn’t really any place for you to go. You were giggling like a maniac, breathless as you murmured a thanks and pulled the pants up all the way. It was only as you buttoned the pants that you realized your shirt had dropped on the ground, and you grabbed it, shoving it into his hands, failing at your horrible attempt to avoid looking at his bare chest, “Last one!”

Steve stared at the fabric in his hands skeptically; the shirt was already short on you, there was no way this wasn’t going to be the most extreme crop top anyone had ever seen on him, “I don’t wanna rip it!”

“You won’t!” you reassured him, “‘s okay if you do, anyway. ‘M never gonna wear it again.”

Letting out what was possibly the most dramatic sigh you’d ever heard, Steve pulled your shirt over his head. The fabric stretched around his arms and chest, the hem falling just below his pecs. His entire stomach was exposed, and while it wasn’t exactly what he’d prepared for that night, the smile on your face in the dark made it worth it.

As your hand reached for the doorknob, Steve realized you were missing one last piece of his costume, “Wait! Can't forget this.” He lifted his hat off of his head and placed it on yours carefully, running his hand through his hair, “Okay, we’re good.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest as he placed his hat on your head, and you nearly dropped everything to kiss him then and there, but the sound of someone laughing outside the door caught your attention. You gave Steve a grin and then pushed the door open, nearly falling over yourself as you shouted, “We’re done! Did we win?!”

Steve’s hand was at your hip again to steady you as he followed you out. He finally felt like he could breathe again. The whole thing couldn’t have taken more than a few minutes, but it felt like he’d spent a lifetime in the closet with you. So close, but so far.

So wrapped up in his own thoughts, Steve missed everything you and Robin were discussing, until there was a loud wolf whistle from someone else in the group, “Damn, Harrington! Who knew you had all that ass!”

Without even glancing in the direction of the noise, Steve knew who it was. He flipped his middle finger up but grinned at his friend, “Fuck off, Munson!”

You let out a laugh as you turned to Steve to say something, but you felt like all of the air had been sucked out of your lungs when you finally properly saw Steve. It’d been too dark in the closet to really see what your clothes looked like on Steve, so you were surprised to see how little of your costume actually covered him. His biceps, stomach, and legs were on full display, and somehow, it still wasn’t enough. Your eyes caught on his arms, the small moles and freckles that covered his stomach, and then, the trail of dark hair that disappeared into the waistband of the much-too-short shorts.

Robin, who was standing next to you, nudged your shoulder, a smirk evident on her face. Her plan was working. You were short-circuiting. Even though your head was feeling less fuzzy due to the alcohol, you might as well have been drunk on Steve. You watched for a few seconds as he found space on the couch to sit down, his cheeks flushed a light pink, and then turned to your friend.

“Robin!” you hissed her name, grabbing at her elbow to pull her closer to you. You gave her the most menacing glare you could muster, but before you could say anything else, she let out a low giggle.

She looked quite pleased with herself, leaning in and whispering loudly, “Did anything happen in there?”

“No! How would that even be possible?” you asked, laughing a little yourself at her ridiculousness.

“Dunno, but a girl’s gotta try. Still have the rest of the night to make something happen.”

As much as you didn’t want to give in to Robin’s hand, you were starting to realize that if she was trying this hard to get something to happen between you and Steve, it probably meant that Steve felt something for you too. You narrowed your eyes at her and then huffed, all but stomping away in search of Steve. If something was going to happen, it had to happen before you lost the confidence.

He was still sitting on the couch, chatting with Eddie, but quickly looked up as you walked over, eyebrows furrowed in concern at your seriousness, “Are you okay?”

“Will you come with me?” you asked instead of answering his question, holding your hand out to him.

“Yeah, of course,” he replied, still confused, but took your hand in his and stood up, allowing you to lead him away. You weaved in and out of people, trudging up the stairs to find a quieter place to talk.

When you finally found an empty bathroom, you flicked on the lights and pulled Steve inside, shutting and locking the door behind you so no one would bother you. The music from downstairs had quieted to a dull thud and suddenly the idea of confessing your feelings felt much more daunting in the harsh light of the bathroom. You quickly turned away from Steve to try to take a deep breath, wringing your hands. Steve watched in concern, reaching a hand out to rest on your forearm gently, “Hey, what’s going on? Are you okay? Did something happen?”

You were just going to have to go for it. Turning around quickly to face him again, you started rambling, “I don’t really know how to say this, so I think I just have to jump into the fucking deep end and say it. Especially since Robin’s getting on my nerves with all of the scheming and smug smiles, which I’m sure you’ve noticed, but if I’m reading this wrong, I’m really sorry, we can just pretend it never happened, and–”

“Say what, babe?” Steve interrupted, shaking his head which caused his hair to bounce slightly, “You’re worrying me.”

“I really like you, Steve. A lot.”

It was silent for a moment, and you couldn’t tell what Steve was thinking with the way he was staring at you so intently, nearly scrutinizing. Your heart began pounding in your chest, worried that you had read the entire situation wrong. His arms crossed over his chest and he let out a soft sigh, “You’re drunk.”

“I’m not!” you insisted quickly, shaking your head vehemently, “Maybe the tiniest bit tipsy, but mostly sober, I swear. I’m– I’m serious, Steve. I just… I thought maybe Robin had a point? And honestly, you look so fucking good in those shorts, and I–”

You were cut off as Steve surged forward, one hand moving to cup the back of your head, the other grabbing at your hip to pull your body into his. Before you could process what was happening, Steve’s lips were on yours and he was kissing you desperately. Your hands struggled to find purchase as they landed on his shoulders and you kissed him back, hardly able to believe that this was actually happening. That you were kissing Steve. But just as soon as you’d started to wrap your head around it, Steve pulled back, eyes wide, chest heaving.

“You don’t…” he stopped himself and shook his head as he looked down at the floor for a moment before looking up to you, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that. How long I’ve liked you.” His hand that had grabbed at your side flattened as he smoothed over the fabric of the baseball pants, his gaze dropping down to the floor again bashfully.

“Are you drunk?” you asked in disbelief.

Steve laughed, a soft and amused sound, as he shook his head and repeated your earlier sentiment, “No. Just barely tipsy, almost completely sober. I feel sober now.”

The kiss had sobered you up, too. Your hands slid down from his shoulders, palms resting flat against his chest as you tilted your head up so you could see him clearly. You could count each individual eyelash if you wanted. Count each and every freckle on his face. But all you really wanted was to kiss him.

Your lips met his again as you pushed your chin up, fingers curling into the fabric of the shirt as Steve sighed into your mouth. Both of his hands dropped to your waist, pressing against your body gently until the small of your back bumped into the counter behind you. He squeezed your waist again as he murmured against your lips, “Up.”

You jumped just enough as he helped to lift you onto the counter. His palms grasped at your thighs, fingers digging into the softness there as he stepped into the space between your legs. Once his lips were back on yours, his hands dropped down to your ass and pulled you forward on the counter easily. The feeling made you gasp; your shorts on him left little to the imagination with how you were pressed against him, “Steve.” Your own hands slid down from where they were resting against his chest and pushed against the soft lines of his abdomen, feeling up towards the tiny shirt on him.

“Mm?” he hummed, distracted by the feeling of your hands on his skin. His lips trailed along your jaw, nipping at your skin softly.

“Want you,” you breathed out, eyes fluttering shut momentarily at the feeling of his lips on your neck.

This caught Steve’s attention and his eyes lit up at your admission, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded quickly, cheeks filling with heat as you recalled the moment earlier in the evening when Steve had licked the spilled punch off of his fingers, “Want… want your fingers.”

“Shit, okay, babe. Just let me…” he trailed off as his fingers hooked into the waistband of the baseball pants. You lifted your hips to help, letting him drag the fabric down your legs and drop them to the floor. Steve’s eyes caught on the wet spot in the center of your underwear and he cursed softly as his hands slid back up your legs, thumbs sliding up the inside of your thighs. A smirk was growing on his lips, “Y’already so wet, baby.”

You let out a soft huff of embarrassment, cheek pressing into your shoulder to ease the burn as you looked up at Steve, “You’re… you just… you look really fucking hot in basically a crop top and short shorts and then you’re kissing me like I’ve never been kissed before, and–”

“Relax, cutie. I got you,” Steve’s eyes softened, the pads of his thumbs rubbing small circles up your inner thigh, inching closer and closer to the hem of your panties. At the same time, the tip of his nose brushed down the length of yours before gently nudging up against yours until he caught your lips with his own.

He kissed you a bit softer than he had before, murmuring as his fingers slipped under the hem of your panties, rubbing back and forth against the delicate skin, “Can I get rid of these?”

Instead of answering, you lifted your hips off of the counter again so Steve could pull the fabric off. It dangled off of your ankle for a moment before falling to the ground to join the pants. Steve’s hands were warm at your knees as he pushed your legs apart, but before he could properly touch you, you grabbed at his wrist, fingers circling around it carefully. He watched you in confusion, about to speak but quickly cut himself off when you finally did what you’d been wanting to do all evening.

You pulled his hand up to your mouth, kissing his palm once before your tongue darted out to circle his middle and ring fingers. Steve’s jaw dropped open slightly, eyes somehow growing even wider as you took his fingers into your mouth, his breath hitching, “Jesus fucking christ, babe, I—” Your hand still wrapped around his wrist gave it a small tug, releasing his fingers from your lips with a small pop. “Fuckin’ hell, baby.”

Steve kissed you like it was his last chance, tugging at your lips and licking into your mouth, distracting you enough to let his hand drift back down to your center. You jolted forward, whining into his mouth as his spit-slick fingers traced up your center until his fingertip nudged into your clit. “Please, Stevie.”

“I got you, baby,” he replied softly, emphasizing his words with another circle over your clit. Then, as if reading your mind, he slipped two fingers into you, drawing quiet moans from the both of you. “Shit, you’re so tight.”

His words had you clenching around his fingers as you leaned back, pressing your palms into the cool countertops beneath you. Finally, he started moving his fingers, thrusting them in and out of your cunt at a slow pace. “Steve, I need— oh, shit— I need more.”

Happy to oblige, Steve picked up the pace a bit, fingertips just grazing the spot that was going to make you see stars. Ever in tune with you and your body, he heard your soft whimper, and saw the way your fingers curled over the edge of the countertop, knuckles white with how tightly you were gripping it. He didn’t really have to ask, but did anyway, a knowing smirk settling over his lips, “Right there?”

“Ri-right there,” you repeated, voice breaking as you nodded frantically and rolled your hips against Steve’s hand. He curled his fingers inside of you and then he doubled down, fingertips repeatedly rubbing against the same spot that had you keening before. And when his thumb pressed to your clit, you nearly fell apart then and there.

“C’mon, baby, know you’re close,” Steve muttered, rubbing his thumb over your clit again and again and again until you were clenching around him and falling over the edge with a loud moan of his name.

Your head fell back, thudding against the mirror on the wall behind you as you gasped for air, knocking Steve’s hat on your head off, chest heaving, “Fuck, Steve, I–” The words died in your throat as your eyes fluttered open, only to find Steve with his fingers halfway to his mouth.

He paused for a moment but quickly took note of the way your breath hitched, eyes wide, and slipped his fingers into his mouth, sucking them clean for the second time that evening. You squirmed against the counter, trying to shuffle off of it as Steve hummed around his fingers and then pulled them from his lips, “Mm, y’taste so good, babe.”

“Holy shit, Stevie,” you gasped as you stumbled off of the counter.

Steve’s hands shot out, grabbing at your hips to steady you, “You okay?”

“More than okay,” you replied, nodding as your hands trailed down Steve’s chest. To prove your point, you leaned up on your toes and pressed your mouth to his. One of your hands curled into the tiny shirt as you kissed him, and the other slid down his chest and abdomen, brushing over the soft hair that disappeared under the waistband of the shorts. You paused, pulling your mouth from Steve’s to look up at him through your eyelashes, “Can I?”

“I— yeah,” Steve nodded hard, hair bouncing with the movement. He looked so pretty — prettier than normal — with his messy hair and wide hazel eyes, lips pink and shiny from your kissing. As he dipped back down to kiss you again, you slid your hand under the waistband of the shorts, but over his boxers. He groaned as you began palming him, and you nearly did as well.

The shorts left very little to the imagination — you knew Steve was big, but feeling him hard in your hand was something completely different. You wanted him, and you weren’t sure you could wait much longer. Your fingers tugged at the shorts and his boxers, discarding them into the pile of your clothes, and you pressed a kiss to his hipbone as you straightened up again, “What… what do you want, Stevie?”

His chest heaved as your hand wrapped around his length, stroking him slowly while you waited for an answer. Steve felt like he couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t function. Not when you were finally, finally touching him. He wanted to do so many things with you, but most of all, he wanted you. “Need to be inside you, baby, fuck.”

Your breath hitched a little at his admission and you nodded quickly, wanting whatever he wanted, “Okay. ‘M yours, Stevie.”

“Fuck, you’re gonna be the death of me, baby,” he groaned, fingers sinking into the soft flesh of your hips again to help you back onto the counter and pull you towards the edge. “Do you— um, I don’t have a condom, I—”

“‘S okay,” you shook your head quickly, leaning back into your hands as one of your legs hooked around Steve’s waist and pulled him in closer to you, “‘m on the pill.”

“Are you sure?” he asked softly, eyes searching yours carefully.

“Positive, Steve. I want you. Have for a long time.”

That was enough for Steve, and he shuffled forward, one hand resting against your waist while the other reached down to line himself up at your entrance. You sucked in a sharp breath as Steve pushed in slowly, your hands sliding into his hair at the back of his head. It was more of a stretch than you were used to, and it must have shown on your face because Steve’s hand left your hip and came up to cradle your cheek carefully, lips pressing to the corner of your mouth, “Okay?”

“Mhm,” you breathed out heavily, eyes flicking open to find Steve’s face centimeters from yours. His thumb rubbed soothingly over your cheekbone, back and forth a few times, and you nodded, “More, Steve.”

Steve nodded, pressing another soft kiss to your lips as he pushed forward again slowly, searching your face for any sign that you wanted to stop. And when he found none, he continued until his hips were flush with yours. His jaw clenched, fingers digging into your thigh that was around his waist, and hitched it higher up his side to push a bit deeper. “Tell me when you’re ready,” he murmured, dropping kisses to your shoulder.

Your mind was racing, but with thoughts of only SteveSteveSteveSteve once again. Your senses were flooded with him; the smell of his cologne and sweat, the sound of his heavy breaths in your ear, the taste of his lips on yours, his hands on your body and his cock buried deep inside your cunt. With a gasping breath, you pulled Steve’s chest to yours, your other leg wrapping around his waist. “Ready. ‘M ready. You can move.”

His hands slid under your arms and wrapped around your back to hold you against him as he began to move his hips slowly, “God, baby, you— fuck— you feel so good around me. So good for me, huh? Been wanting you like this forever.”

You rolled your hips into his as you all but sobbed his name, pressing your heels into the small of his back. He took the hint quickly and picked up the pace, the filthy sound of his skin smacking yours filling the small bathroom. Your hands searched over his shoulders and back, slipping underneath the shirt of yours that he was somehow still wearing, nails digging into his skin.

Steve’s chin hooked over your shoulder, and he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror behind you. He looked just as fucked out as he felt; eyes and hair wild as he clung to you. What really got to him, though, was the sight of his last name sprawled across your back. Maybe, just maybe, you’d finally be his after all of this. Heart racing at the sight, he set a punishing pace, “Look so fuckin’ good in my clothes, sweetheart. You’re so… so fucking perfect.”

“Steve— oh fuck— you feel so good. Gonna come soon, ‘m so close—” you were mumbling incoherently into Steve’s neck, trying your best to meet his thrusts, which became harder as one of his hands snaked down between the two of you to rub over your clit. You clenched around him again at the feeling, pulling the best noise you’d ever heard from the back of Steve’s throat. Your moan echoed his, completely oblivious to the fact that you were still at a party and that someone could probably hear you.

“Gonna come for me, my pretty girl?”

My pretty girl. His and only his. It was enough for you to come undone, Steve’s name intertwined with the curses and filthy moans you couldn’t hold back. His thrusts faltered, hips stuttering against yours as he came, your name spilling from his lips in a way you wanted to hear again and again and again.

Your chest heaved against his as you both tried to catch your breaths, and you left soft, open-mouthed kisses to the crook of his neck where you’d buried your face as you’d come. His hands were gentle as they pushed up your thighs and hips, around your back to slip under the shirt of his you were wearing. They were exceptionally warm, tracing over the curve of your spine as he pressed your body into his, voice soft at your ear as he murmured, “Are you okay?”

You let out a soft laugh as you kissed up Steve’s jaw, fingers slipping into the slightly damp hair at the nape of his neck, twisting a strand around your index finger, “‘M perfect, Steve. Are you okay?”

“Fuck,” he laughed, shaking his head in amusement, popping up from your shoulder to look into your eyes, “I’ve never been better. Meant what I said… been wanting you forever.”

“Yeah?” you asked quietly, feeling bashful, like he wasn’t still inside of you.

“Oh yeah,” he nodded, dipping his head down to press a soft peck to your lips. At the same time, his hands moved back down to your hips, holding you tightly as he finally pulled out. You winced slightly at the feeling, causing a soft apology to tumble from Steve’s lips, followed by another soft peck.

It was quiet as you cleaned each other up as best as you could, stealing sweet kisses from the other more often than necessary. The sound of the music had finally come back into focus, and you realized that it wasn’t as loud as you’d remembered. Still, you’d do it all again, even though you weren't sure you could walk, and you knew your friends were going to give you shit for how long the two of you had disappeared.

As you redressed, you finally swapped your clothes back, but just as you were about to give Steve the last piece of his costume — the jersey — he shook his head, cupping your cheek in his hand, tilting your head up, “You wear it. Looks better on you. And besides, need everyone to know you’re mine now.”

You didn’t put up a fight, grinning and shrugging the jersey back over your shirt that Steve had definitely stretched out. Smoothing down your shirt, you held your hands out to your sides slightly, “Good?”

Steve laughed again, reaching out to swipe a thumb under your eye in an attempt to remove some of the mascara that had smudged, “As good as it’s gonna get. And still perfect. Ready?”

Before he could open the door, you grabbed his hat off of the counter and brushed his hair back before placing it on his head, “For the sex hair. Oh, and Steve?”

“Yeah, cutie?”

“Good game!” you giggled, slapping his ass before bolting out of the bathroom, leaving Steve to stare after you for a few moments with the biggest grin on his face.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington oneshot #steve harrington imagine #strangertober #best friend!steve #best friend!steve harrington #steve harrington x f!reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #sunshinehollandd #sunshinehollandd writing

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campingwiththecharmings · 2 months

Text

Can't Hold Back

AN: Hey y'all! This is kind of an unofficial sequel to Down Time, in the sense that I was thinking of while writing but made no actual references to it lol. ANYWAY. This was written for @triplefrontier-anniversary! Hope y’all enjoy 🥰

(Un-beta’d)

You can’t go on like this, having him but not having him. You want more, you deserve more…

Rated: M+ (this is smut so, i mean, you’ve been warned?) Words: 1,554 Pairing: Santiago “Pope” Garcia x F!Reader Warnings: Very light on the plot here lol, friends (who are secretly in love with each other) with benefits, p in v, a smidge of angst then cliche fluffy fluff (please let me know if i missed anything). AO3

——————

Santiago fucks into you, his thrusts slow and deep, his body draped over yours as you cling to him, your bottom lip caught between your teeth as you try to stifle your moans. He buries his face in your neck, muffling his groan as he loses himself in your warmth. He mouths at you, his tongue dragging over your sweat-slicked skin before coming to rest just below your ear.

“Feel so good, cariño,” he slurs, his voice low and raspy. “Feels like heaven when I’m inside you.”

Your cunt clenches at his words and he grunts, his movements stuttering slightly. Your chest heaves in an effort to stay quiet, knowing your friends are sleeping just on the other side of the thin walls of your shared vacation rental. They didn’t know about you and Santi, didn’t know that you’d been secretly fucking for months, didn’t know that you were head-over-heels in love with him.

To be fair though, Santi didn’t know that last bit either.

Your arrangement had been fun when it started, had scratched the proverbial itch, but as time had gone on, you’d started to want more. The sex was great, but you hated when it ended. Not just because it was over, but because one of you always left. That had been part of the arrangement: no staying the night. So you didn’t, he didn’t, and you ignore that ache you feel in your chest every time he rolls off your bed and starts putting on his clothes, ignore the queasiness that roils in your belly when he leans in and kisses the side of your head gently in goodbye, ignore the way your heart cracks as the door to your apartment clicks shut and you’re left in silence, alone.

You’d been planning to tell him, tell him that you couldn’t do this anymore, that you wanted (needed) more, more with him…but then he’d started kissing you and every other thought had flown right out the window. So here you were, writhing in pleasure beneath him as he played your body like a well-loved instrument, willing yourself to stay quiet so as to not alert the rest of your friend group. You shiver, his lips brushing your ear as he whispers the filthiest things. The sound of his voice, coupled with his words, pushes you higher and higher, and you whimper softly as you near the edge, your cunt fluttering around his cock.

Santi shushes you gently, pulling back a little to watch you, his dark eyes heavy and blown wide with lust. Your gaze locks with his, and you swallow hard to keep your moans at bay, your lips parting and releasing a soft, strangled sound. He pulls his lip between his teeth, nostrils flaring as he breathes hard through his nose, his body moving steadily over you.

As you watch him, the moonlight illuminating him from behind like an angel, you’re struck with the urge to cry. No, not just cry, full on sob. You can’t go on like this, having him but not having him. You want more, you deserve more…but you’re worried. Worried about how ending this will affect your friendship, that you’ll have to put up with seeing him date other women (or worse, that he won’t care when you start dating). You want to be present, be in the moment, want to enjoy yourself if this really is to be the last time. Even so, you can’t stop the tears as they slide down your cheeks, can’t stop the weight pressing on your chest, can’t stop the fracturing of your heart. A strange combination of euphoria and sorrow war within you, and you can’t do much more than ride it out, can’t do much more than cling to him like it’s the last time you’ll ever hold him (because it likely is).

He must notice your crying because he suddenly leans in, whispering comforting words that don’t really register in your brain as he kisses away your tears. He presses his forehead to yours, pushing you closer and closer to your peak, grinding his hips into yours and making you see stars.

You whimper softly as you come, your body shaking, eyes fluttering shut as the pleasure washes over you. Santiago leans in, smothering his moans in your neck as you squeeze him, pulling him closer to the edge until his body stiffens, his sticky warmth coating your inner walls. The urge to wrap yourself around him, to keep him with you, keep him inside you, is so strong, but you resist, knowing it won’t make a difference.

Santi pulls back, smiling softly as he gazes down at you. You try to smile back, thankful for the darkness of the room as it means he can’t see the tears that are still leaking from the corners of your eyes. He swipes his thumbs over your cheeks and pauses, his lips twitching down when he feels the wetness there.

“Estás bien, cariño?” he whispers, his eyes quickly darting over your face. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

You shake your head, willing your tears to stop falling.

“I’m okay,” you say, forcing a smile, “Just emotional, I guess.”

He grunts, and you can tell he’s not buying it. You never were very good at lying.

You do your best not to look at him for too long, knowing the longer he looks, the more likely it is that he’ll see, see it all, everything you’re trying to hide, trying to bury. Just when you think he’s going to let it go, you feel his hand cup your cheek.

“Look at me,” he whispers, his breath fanning across your cheek.

You try not to, really you do but, when it comes to Santi, you just can’t help yourself.

Your resolve crumbles the moment your eyes meet his, the words you’ve held back all these months spilling from between your lips like water from a broken dam. Tears blur your vision so much that you can’t really tell what effect your words are having on him, but you suppose that it doesn’t really matter in the end. You can feel yourself spiraling, your chest heaving with barely suppressed sobs, when Santi’s finger presses against your lips halts your descent.

“Did…you just say you loved me?” he asks softly, his voice and face unreadable.

Icy dread slices through you at the question. Had you said that? That you loved him? You don’t remember, but you must’ve, right? You panic, stuttering as you try to explain, your brain racing a million miles per hour as you search for the right words…but it turns out you don’t need them.

Santiago stops your lips again, this time with his own.

You’ve kissed him a thousand times before now but, somehow this time it’s different, this time it feels different. He takes his time, his kiss somehow both gentle and deep, like he’s pouring everything he has into it. He pulls away before you can kiss him back, a faint glimmer of something unfamiliar shining in his eyes when he meets yours again.

“I love you too,” he rasps, smiling down at you softly.

Your eyes widen a little, searching for the truth of his words in the darkness. “You do?”

He chuckles, caressing your cheeks with his thumbs. “I do.”

You exhale sharply, a relieved laugh slipping from between your lips before you can stop it. You clap your hand over your mouth in surprise as Santiago’s smile widens, his eyes shining. You spend the next few hours wrapped in each other’s arms, talking about everything and nothing, content to just be.

You wake hours later to the sun streaming in through the windows and Santiago’s warmth at your back, your still-naked bodies tangled in the sheets and blankets. His arms are wrapped loosely around you, his face pressed into the back of your neck, and you can’t help the mix of relief and giddiness you feel knowing it wasn’t all some crazy fever dream. Your eye lashes flutter as sleep tries to call you back, the warm tendrils reaching for you, pulling gently—

Until the sound of someone clearing their throat drags you back to full consciousness.

Your head snaps toward the sound, your widened eyes meeting amused blue ones.

Santi stirs behind you, sighing softly as he presses a kiss against the base of your neck and rasps, “Morning.”

“Mornin’,” Benny responds, a smug smile on his lips as he takes in the sight of the two of you tangled in each other.

You feel Santi pause briefly before turning to meet his gaze.

“Breakfast is gettin’ cold,” Benny continues, suggestively pumping his eyebrows as he backs out of the room, leaving the door wide open.

Benny walks back to the kitchen, his footsteps thunking loudly against the wooden floor of the house as he calls out something about the other guys owing him a hundred dollars.

Santi snorts behind you, pushing his face against your shoulder as he dissolves into laughter, and you can’t help but follow suit.

“Guess we should go deal with that,” you chuckle, looking over your shoulder at him.

He smiles, his eyes shining with laughter as he leans in and presses a kiss to your lips. “Guess we should, cariño.”

If you enjoyed this, please let me know! I appreciate every single reblog and/or comment. Thank you. 💖

🌟 Masterlist 🌟

i am no longer doing a taglist. please follow @charmingupdates for updates and turn on notifications.

#santiago garcia x reader #santiago garcia x you #santiago pope garcia x reader #santiago pope garcia x you #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier fic #santiago garcia smut #santiago pope garcia smut #triple frontier write-a-thon #triple frontier anniversary #my fic

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starleska · 1 year

Note

* falls up the stairs downwards and out of a closet* I HAVE A REQUEST!

Wally x Touched starved reader please

Thank you<3

hahaha, of course!! i've actually received several requests for a touch-starved reader, so i think y'all are feeling a way 🥺💖

content warning for implied past abuse - i'm writing a Reader who may have a reason for being touch-starved. it isn't graphic, but just in case folks are sensitive to that topic!

Wally Darling x Touch-Starved Reader headcanons

💖 when you first meet Wally, you shy away from his constant physical affection. Wally is a very huggy person, and he's forever giving his friends comforting taps and touches by way of his friendship. however, the first time he tries to hug you, you flinch back, thinking he must have an ulterior motive. the hurt in Wally's eyes makes you feel guilty for the rest of the day, but you can't get over this in-built response designed to protect you. being touched isn't something you feel you deserve, and even the idea of accidentally brushing hands is dizzying to you. however, Wally returns a few hours later after your startled response. he offers his hand to you, which is clad in bright green fabric and dotted with pictures of bumblebees. "Julie lent me her gardening gloves," Wally explains, "so touching won't be as scary." you're so overwhelmed by the sweetness and absurdity of his gesture that you break down in tears.

💖 it's a while before you let Wally touch you properly, but once you do, you can't get enough. Wally is incredibly plush and cuddly - even the skinniest part of his body is soft and plump like a stuffed toy!! you start slow with holding hands, and Wally works with you, first locking his pinkie around yours and holding it for a minute at a time. soon, you're confident enough to lean against Wally while he keeps his arms at his side. Wally tries to act inconspicuous when you do this, whistling tunelessly and pretending not to notice you. the first time you hug Wally, you slip up behind him unnoticed and seize him tightly around the waist. Wally makes a soft, "Oh!" of surprise and twists around, trying to look at you, but you've buried your face in the sumptuous material of his cardigan. he chuckles warmly, and gives you a reassuring pat on the head.

💖 once the seal is broken, Wally is determined to show you what you've been missing. Wally decides his new favourite game is wrapping you up tight in a blanket burrito, and nuzzling the top of your head while you pretend-struggle to escape. the deep pressure is wonderful and soothing, although it never lasts long; Wally loves cuddling you so much that he always releases you from your soft prison much too soon, and then you're falling on top of one another, consumed with the giggles. when the two of you are alone, Wally will often snuggle up into the crook of your neck, sighing happily as he loops his arms around your shoulders and all but climbs into your lap. sometimes you fall asleep like that, together: a silly, happy mess of rumpled sheets and tangled limbs.

this was a very cute request - thank you so much 🥰💖

#wally darling x reader #wally darling x you #wally darling #welcome home #welcome home arg #starleskasks #starleskawrites #long post

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thefallennightmare · 4 months

Text

Just Pretend-Twenty One

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: This entire chapter will be in Angel's POV! Hence the gif! Now before any of y'all ask, no! This isn't a love triangle chapter. Its about a girl who meets someone that has gone through the same thing she has and they have a moment together where they help each other over come those evil parts of their pasts (Platonically) Two people finding their "friendship" soulmates, if ya will.

FUCK YOU. EAT SHIT. KILL GOD. DETHRONE.

We are Fallenvvitch. Goodnight.

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @koskeepsake @bngurngheart @shilohrosechicken @emzandthevoid @casangel1986 @qualityvoidcollectorsblog @myownthoughts12 @jilliemiw86 @bellaboo967 @halloweenaesthetic @collapsedglasshouses

READER

I sat on my bed with the notebook perched on my lap with papers and discarded pens all over my bedroom. Salem curled up on my pillow next to me, his purring an eerily calm background noise as it combined with the scratching of my pen on paper.

“I know it’s colder where I’m at,” I muttered in a soft tune.

Ew, no not that.

I scratched through the words with such force it ripped through the paper.

“Fuck,” I cursed while tossing the book onto the floor then rubbed ink-stained hands over my face.

I went through four different pens by now and changed the paper from my spiral notebook to printer paper. I had been held up in my room all night writing, not wanting to be bothered. With our tour starting in a few days, we needed to leave tomorrow which meant I spent most of my day and afternoon packing and getting things in order.

For the last few days, Hollow Souls had been working tirelessly to practice our setlist and make sure all of our visuals were spot on. It was our first tour of just the three of us and my nerves were taking over every aspect of my life. I couldn’t even enjoy the fact that I was about to spend the next two weeks with my favorite artist.

nothing, nowhere.

Joe’s music had been a huge part of my healing process for years so when he reached out with the idea of opening up for Hollow Souls, immediately we agreed. Even though the nerves were still there, I couldn’t contain my excitement. I couldn’t count how many times I picked up my phone, wanting to text Noah, but always backed out. I told him I needed some time, truthfully I think I needed it to remind myself I could be my own person and succeed with this band for a little while.

Maybe I needed to prove to myself that I was able to take the lead of this band without anyone pointing the finger, thinking it was someone else behind the curtain. There wasn’t someone else. It was me.

My heart began to stutter in my chest, blood running cold, so I took a deep breath while counting to four; exactly like Dr. Poulos told me to do. Soon, I felt heat spread within me as the image of Noah danced behind my eyelids. I missed him and yearned for his presence. My stomach was in knots since the second I left his house a few days ago.

“I know it’s warmer where you are,” my eyes snapped open as the words fell from my lips.

Fuck, that's good.

We confessed, we told the truth. A weight was lifted off me. Noah loves me.

He fucking loves me back.

“I know it’s warmer where you are, and it’s safer by your side,” I sang while quickly writing it down on a fresh piece of paper. “Right now I can’t be what you want, just give it time.”

I began to ache at times, my stomach was sore, and my head would pound. It was often like this that I began to think I’d caught a cold. I wasn’t- it was just me feeling empty. I knew whatever this moment of self-reflection was, it was worth it. I love Noah and he loved me back.

We’d be together; soon. I had to believe that. I knew in my gut. I trusted it but I hope he trusted me.

“Cause if you and I can make it through the night,” my voice was loud now as I felt comfortable with how the lyrics were now pouring out of me.

But there was this nagging feeling inside of me that I couldn't ignore. We last texted each other at 10 p.m. that night saying we loved each other. The invisible string that always seemed to connect us was urging me to text him. This was something else I couldn’t ignore.

It was important to me that with this new love, the love for Noah, we have made the effort to fully heal first so we do the inner work that is required to become a whole person once more. All born into our era, our family, our body. We can only be ourselves and accountable for ourselves. He needed to know I loved him, and that I’d come to him.

Was it selfish of me to walk away after we confessed our love? I wasn’t sure. I just knew it was important for us both to grow from our experiences. So be that rare kind of true love and this bond will be eternal. That I promise him.

With a deep breath, I shifted my attention to my phone and decided to send the message before I doubted myself again.

Me: I love you, mochi.

Before I could even set my phone down, it buzzed in my hand with a new message.

Mochi 🍡: I love you, angel.

The crushing weight that I felt gripping around my heart lifted as I read Noah’s message over and over again. Although we were apart for the time being, we would be alright because we loved each other. I lay here in deep thought and my mind wandered back to my primal need for intimacy. There is that feeling of maturity, the admittance of being in love with Noah. It arrived without fanfare. Our souls were humble travelers and I could feel the bruise begin to form on my shoulder, so desperate to feel him again.

Salem rubbed his head against my arm and I brought him into my chest, peppering his face in kisses.

“We can meet in the middle, body and souls collide. Dance in the moonlight,” I muttered to myself.

Noah and I have a long road together, and it’s one I wanted to last.

A knock sounded on my door before it opened slowly, Chase's stern smile on his lips.

Uh oh.

He leaned against the door frame. "Sweets, I love you. You know I do. But you're fucking killing me with the paint on the carpet in the dining room."

I knew it.

"I'm sorry! I know, I know.” I nodded with a long sigh. “It's just the lighting in my bedroom sucks compared to the light in the dining room. I'll put down a drop next time."

Malcolm came into my room, laying a kiss on Chase’s cheek before falling onto the end of my bed somehow missing the mess I created with my writing.

“Don’t be so hard on her, Chase,” Malcolm said before motioning to my bed. “How’s the writing going?”

I shrugged. “It’s going, I guess. I think my mind is so preoccupied with the next few weeks that it’s hard to focus.”

“Excited?” Chase questioned.

“Excited?” I scoffed. “I’m fucking ecstatic. In less than twenty-four hours I’m going to meet one of my idols and tour with him for two weeks.”

Malcolm spoke next. “Feeling confident with the setlist?”

“Yeah! I think we’ve got a good amount of songs and I’m stoked to perform Eyelids live. I think it will be a great way to tease the new album.”

I’d been very apprehensive to put one of the newer songs on the set list only because some fans weren’t supportive of Eyelids or St. Patrick when they first came out. But Hollow Souls were evolving into a new era and we couldn’t continue to be stuck in the past.

“Ethan said the bus will be here to pick us up by noon tomorrow,” Chase informed. “Are you all packed and ready?”

I pointed to the three suitcases at the other end of my room but as Salem jumped off my lap to go lay with Malcolm, I realized something important.

"Oh, shit. I forgot to see if someone can take care of Salem,” I chastised myself.

I didn’t miss the glance the two of them shared and raised a brow as Malcolm spoke up. "Already taken care of."

“You asked Noah, didn’t you?” I couldn’t help the smile that crept on my face.

“Maybe,” he shrugged while giving Salem some belly rubs.

Chase rolled his eyes before pushing himself off the door frame and sitting next to Malcolm. “Of course we did. Who else would you ask?”

“I could have asked Jolly or Jesse. I didn’t want to put this on Noah,” I admitted with a shaky breath.

“Well, he’s basically Salem’s dad now,”

“Malcom!” I smacked his shoulder.

“I’m just saying,” he chuckled while rubbing his arm.

“We’re not official yet, guys,” I ran a hand through my hair before pulling my knees to my chest. “Please don’t do that.”

“No way,” Chase shook his hand as Malcolm rested a hand on his thigh. “We’re not doing that. You need to think of the positives. You two said you love each other. Soon you will find your way back to one another.”

“I love your optimism,” I said while playfully rolling my eyes.

“Hey, smart ass. We know these things,” Malcolm snorted while still playing with Salem.

“You do, huh? Do you have connections to the other side?” I teased.

“We were watching a show last week about alternate universes and shit. It made me think that maybe there’s more of us out there, ya know?” he squeezed Chase’s knee. “Who the hell knows, maybe you and Noah fucked one night, magically fell in love, and went on the road with him. By the end of it, you moved into an apartment that’s right across the street from his house because you couldn’t fathom being away from him,” Chase spoke with a smirk.

My face reddened as I shifted my gaze downwards. “Wow, that’s-uh-you really thought about that.”

Malcolm laughed. “Or what if in another life, Noah walked through literal flames for you.”

I snorted at that thought because there was no way Noah would risk his life to walk through a fire to save my life, even if I was hanging from a building.

“Now you’re talking about shit people read in romance novels. Did my long-lost brother start the fire as well?”

Malcolm narrowed his eyes at me. “I’m just saying, the two of you will find your way. We’re proud of you and how far you’ve come. You and Noah will grow together.”

My heart jumped in my throat at how sincere Malcolm sounded and the way Chase’s eyes danced as he stared at me.

“Thank you guys. That means a lot to me,” I smiled.

“Always sweets, always,” Chase kissed my forehead. “You’re the miracle Noah needed, you know?”

“I think he was the miracle I needed as well,” I admitted.

READER

“Wow, Dallas. You are all such beautiful souls tonight. I cannot express our gratitude for all the support we’ve been getting this tour. We’re only four shows in and we’re having the best fucking time. Thank you,” I smiled into the microphone while tucking a long strand of blonde hair behind my ear.

The crowd cheered wildly as Chase pounded the foot pedal of his drum, the beat making my heart thump hard in my chest. It was night four of the tour and even though it was straight show after show and I was exhausted, I let the energy from the crowd up me hype to finish tonight strong.

The support of this tour had been fucking outstanding. Every show was sold out and we even had to move our last show into a bigger arena due to high demand. The three of us were so unbelievably proud of the direction we were headed and we didn’t want to look back.

“Before we play our last song, I think we need to show our opener some love!” I said into the microphone.

The crowd clapped and screamed but I frowned while shifting my weight on one foot while shaking my head.

“That’s pretty weak. I want the fucking roof to blow off of here. Let’s hear it for nothing, nowhere!”

Chase and Malcolm played an in-sync beat as the crowd screamed, cheered, clapped, and jumped up and down.

“That’s better.” I nodded with a smile while adjusting my guitar. “Not many know this but I’m such a huge fan of nothing, nowhere so to be here touring with him has me fangirling pretty hard right now.”

I peered over to the side stage where Joe was leaning, watching our set with a smile. We met a few days ago and even though I did my best to keep my composure, I was a giddy girl on the inside. He and Malcolm had a lot in common which made them click almost immediately which made tour life easy for all of us.

“So,” I cleared my throat while staring back out toward the crowd. “Our final song is a new one and I’m so excited to perform it in front of all of you. Our new album White Noise will be released in a few months. It’s different than our first three but we promise that it’ll be worth it.”

As the crowd clapped and cheered, I smiled. “My friends, thank you. This song is called Eyelids.”

As we began the song over the loud cheers of excitement, I let my eyes flutter shut as yet again, memories of mine and Noah’s night flashed in my mind.

"Noah," I breathed while breaking apart from the kiss.

He buried his face into the crook of my neck to breathe me in. "Say it again."

I did, over and over like a mantra, as he left a mark on the skin of my neck while his hand switched to the other breast, mimicking his actions from before. The wetness that pooled between my legs was almost a new feeling, never been this turned on.

With one touch I could have sworn he entered my soul. As if my body was his key. He entered me and it fit, pun not intended. Not a thing of metal nor gold, Yet a sensation of love that came.

"I want to hear you," he left a gentle bit on the inside of my thigh

I used the small break-in lyrics to let out a deep breath, doing my best to remain centered so I could finish the rest of the song strong

Noah was in every aspect of my mind, no matter how hard I tried to focus on the song.

His fingertips, his eyes, his lips on every inch of skin, or the way Noah steadied our breaths. “Breathe through it with me.”

I did as he said, both of us breathing out my orgasm as our eyes locked intently with each other. I writhed against him, my arousal soaking the condom and parts of his hips. It was such a simple action but the way it set my body on fire intensified the aftershocks to something I'd never experienced. Noah stared down to the place where we met and with a noisy moan, he wrapped an arm tighter around me to pull me flush against his chest as his hips stilled for a second before he emptied himself inside the condom.

Through his sweet words and the resolution of my survival self to never let anyone else sit at my core. He was already there.

As the song ended and I thanked the crowd with a bow, I thought how relieved I was to discover my pure self. That this with Noah could be real love. There was no temptation to change because it was our real selves that bonded us. It is our real selves that each other loves.

That night, I walked away from him without listening to his pleas but now, we were different. We had grown together, for each other.

Tonight, I vowed then and there under the bright lights of this stage that I’d stay.

I would always stay with Noah.

“Kick ass show tonight, guys!” Joe cheered while giving us a round of high-fives.

I smirked while whipping out my phone. “Thanks, Joe! Give me a few minutes and we can head to karaoke.”

Malcolm rolled his eyes. “Whose time zone is it tonight?”

“Mine” I smirked into my phone while I quickly typed out a message.

Me: I love you, mochi.

“Oh,” a hand with a rose tattoo waved in front of my face. “Who has you smiling like that?”

Playfully narrowing my eyes at Joe, I stuck out my tongue at him. “Someone is nosy.”

Just then a new message popped up and my heart fluttered when I saw Noah’s response. It was the same response for the last week but every time, my smile spread wide on my face.

Mochi 🍡: I love you too, angel.

When I went to put my phone back into my pocket, it vibrated with a new message, this time it was a video from Noah of Salem lying on a couch, one I hadn’t seen before.

“Salem, say hi to your mom. She misses you,” Noah’s voice came from the background.

I broke out in an even bigger smile and giggled when my cat did not move, didn't even bat an eye as Noah scratched behind his ears. But the music playing in the background suddenly caught my attention.

The lyrics sounded so familiar.

“Gave you way too many chances but it wasn't enough.”

I replayed the video a few more times to make sure.

“No way,” I muttered, not paying attention to the conversation behind me with Joe, Malcolm, and Chase.

I quickly sent a text to Noah.

Me: Hi Salem baby! Mom misses you! Also, I hear something in the background. Is it..?

Mochi 🍡: He’s napping. He had a long day of playing outside.

My brow peaked.

Me: You took him outside?

Mochi 🍡: Don’t worry, angel. We had him on a harness and leash. He loved laying in the sun on the back patio.

“Sweets, let’s go!” Chase called from behind. “The karaoke place closes in like an hour!”

I waved him off before texting Noah back.

Me: I trust you with him, Noah. But what’s that playing in the background of your video?

He responded with another video and when his face graced my screen, my heart jumped into my throat.

Fuck. Me.

Mochi 🍡: I can’t wait for you to hear the final version.

“Well, who’s that?”

Joe peered over my shoulder causing me to jump slightly while clutching the phone close to my chest.

“Geez, can’t a girl get some privacy?” I asked with flushed cheeks.

The image of Noah in that video played in my mind on a fucking loop and I suddenly did not want to go out with the guys tonight.

Joe raised a brow. “Oh, that’s him?”

Malcolm looked between Joe and me, noticing how red my face was. “What the hell did Noah send you?”

“No-nothing. Just a video of Salem,” I stammered at first but was quick to recover.

Chase’s mouth parted to speak but soon his eyes turned dark, jaw clenching as he stared past me.

“What’s wr-,” I didn’t get a chance to ask because an all too familiar voice crept deep into my bones, ripping me apart from the inside out.

“You still have that fucking cat?”

My heart sunk low to the depths of my stomach and I let my eyes flutter shut, all the breath leaving my lungs.

No. No. No. Please, not here. Not now.

“He can’t be,” I shook my head while keeping my eyes trained hard on Chase, doing my best to stay centered.

Do as Dr. Poulos says; deep breath in for three seconds, long breath out for four seconds.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Malcolm spat while stepping in front of me.

“I needed to come to check out the new Hollow Souls,” the deep voice chuckled darkly.

I didn’t miss the venom in his words.

But I never turned around, simply kept my gaze straight on Chase who still refused to look at me; his own hard gaze was trained on the man behind me. Joe noticed the sudden tension and rested a gentle hand on my elbow.

“Y/N?” His words were white noise.

I’m imagining this. He’s not here right now. There’s no way.

“You looked good on that stage, baby. Although, I bet you’d look even better in the back of it.”

No. No. No.

A sharp whistle. “I know you hear me.”

“What the hell are you doing here? Why are you here?” Chase’s voice was thick with anger.

The voice that I spent so many days in therapy talking about let out a low scoff.

“What? I came to see my protégé.”

Malcolm pushed me towards Joe. “Can you take her back to our bus? We’ll be there soon.”

I shook my head feverishly with tears brimming in my eyes, my back still to the one I refused to look at.

“No. It’s not worth it. Please guys,” I begged while Joe wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Please come with me.”

Chase’s eyes softened when he finally peered down at me. “It’ll be okay, sweets. We’re just going to talk; promise.”

“Come on,” Joe urged my frozen state a few steps.

Until that darkness pulled me back into the place I spent many days dragging myself out of.

“Oh, it seems as if you’re back to your old ways. Fucking the opening act, huh? How does good ‘ol Noah feel about that?” Trey did the jerking-off gesture at Noah’s name.

“FUCK YOU!” I screamed as I spun on my heels, Joe’s arm falling away from me. “Don’t you dare say his name. You haven’t earned the right to talk about him!”

Those cold eyes that I swore at one point I’d have a future with bore into my soul as he ran a hand through the curly locks on his head. Trey smirked wickedly at me.

“I should call him up. Better yet,” He stuck a cigarette on his lips. “Maybe I’ll send him the video I took of you two ogling each other while you were on stage.”

I took a step towards Trey but Malcolm held out his arm to stop me, only for me to push it away.

“Go ahead! You have absolutely no fucking idea what you’re talking about. We should have had you fucking blacklisted,” my upper lip curled, barring my teeth.

“Good luck, baby. My name gets me places, I can’t help it. Plus, I needed to come see my protege. Since I fucking made you,” Trey twirled his hand towards me with a snide smirk.

“MADE ME?!” My eyes doubled as my voice roared through the dwindling venue as fans slowly took their time leaving.

The stagehands and crew members paused their work to watch my outburst.

I took a deep breath to center myself again, not wanting to create a scene right now when there were still so many prying eyes. “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed the show. We’re doing fine without you.”

Turning my back to him yet again, I allowed Joe to lead me away with a hand ghosting over my lower back; until Trey’s voice stopped me.

“You’re so broken you don’t even trust yourself.”

“Y/N,” Joe’s voice was soft as he shook his head. “It’s not worth it. Come-.”

“Excuse me?!” I turned swiftly on my heels, hair whipping over my shoulder.

Trey shrugged while reaching for a strand of my hair, twirling it between his fingers. “You heard me.”

I smacked his hand away, the noise echoing loudly backstage. “No. No, I don’t think I did. Say it again.”

“You’re broken.” Now his hands were in his pocket, a lit cigarette hanging loosely on his lips. “That uh- that new song? That's about him, isn’t it? Where is he?”

Trey made a show of looking around backstage. “I don’t see him anywhere. Oh, let me guess. You demolished it right? ‘Cause we all know you can’t have a perfect thing without doing that.”

My hands curled at my side, knuckles turning white from how hard my nails dug crescent moon shapes into my palm.

“You don’t know a fucking thing about me, Trey! You never did and you don’t know a fucking thing about Noah, okay?”

“I don’t need to. I know enough,” Trey blew the smoke towards Malcolm.

Before he could take a step towards him, Chase wrapped an arm around his chest to pull him away.

“You know he has asthma, you piece of shit!” I pushed Trey hard in the chest. “No. No! No! You’re not going to do this.”

“Do what? We both get off on hurting other people,” Trey snickered while taking a step toward me. “I tell you the fucking truth. You’re on the stage singing your pretty little lullabies and maladaptive daydreams because I let you! And you know what else? That little Sykes wanna be?”

When he made the gesture of sucking a dick, I nearly gagged in my mouth at how disgusting and vulgar Trey actually was.

Anger filled my veins as he continued to spew his venom. Every single thing Trey said was meant for one thing; to hurt and destroy. He’d spent years perfecting it and before, I’d swim in it.

Now? Now I was different and I wasn’t afraid of standing up to him.

“No! Shut the fuck up!” I ran a wild hand through my hair before pointing a finger at him. “You were such a poison that I should have avoided. Every single part of you. I thought you wanted to save me but in the end, all you did was break me!”

Tears fell from my eyes and I was quick to wipe them away. I refused to cry in front of everyone; especially Trey. He didn’t get the privilege to break me. Not again.

“How dare you reach out your hand? You said you loved me but acted like you hated me,” I choked on a sob. “I should have run but I didn’t.”

Trey flicked the ashes on the ground at my feet with a fake pout on his lips but before he could say anything I pointed another finger into his chest causing him to stumble back.

“No! I have to get this off my chest! There’s more shit I have to say!”

I could feel the proud smiles of Chase, Malcolm, and even Joe as they all flanked behind me. Not stepping in but still wanting to be close in case they needed to.

“You’re not half the man you think you are! You’re not! You’re abusive, an addict, and I hated the way you would make me feel. Everything I did was under a constant microscope with you.”

I began to list things on my fingers. “I couldn’t dress the way I wanted. I couldn’t talk to who I wanted. I couldn’t even fucking talk about things that I enjoyed because if it didn’t involve you, it wasn’t important. In the beginning, you needed to know my every single fucking move. But the one night you went out with your friends and I asked where you were going, you thought it would be funny to choke me!”

“What the fuck?!” Chase roared while stepping up next to me.

I placed a hand on his chest but kept my eyes on Trey. “I’ve outgrown you, I fell out of every trace of love and respect for you, Trey. I’ve moved fucking past you. Yes, in the beginning, I thought that maybe there might have been a chance for us. But you found yourself on drugs and nicotine. A hollow body like a figurine and I always felt like an accessory.”

Joe turned his head towards me with a small smile on his lips.

“Looking back now, I can see it. You always tried to put me in the background. I wasted so much fucking time on you and you wasted so much Hollow Souls time. You held us back for so long because you thought you knew what was best for us.”

A muscle in Trey’s jaw ticked. “I fucking made you. I made this band.”

I rolled my eyes while crossing my arms over my chest. “Oh, please. Everyone knows that Hollow Souls was my idea. I was the one who asked Chase and Malcolm to join. I wrote the songs. I wanted to produce our songs but you immediately shot that idea down claiming it was too much work and not worth it.”

Thankfully, it was long after our show ended and the main part of the venue had cleared out but there were still workers backstage as they tore down our equipment. They acted like they weren’t listening to our fight but I knew that with the glances our way every so often, they heard everything.

“You always wanted to change shit that didn’t need to be changed,” he snarled.

I held my arms out wide. “And look where I’m at? Every show on this tour is sold out. We had to upgrade to a bigger venue because of high demand.”

“What?” Trey tossed his cigarette to the ground. “Do you want a fucking medal for that?”

I stepped on the bud of the cigarette, stepping right up into Trey’s space. “You fucked with my head knowing that I couldn't take it and for that, I can't forgive you. I’ll never forgive you.”

Chase waved over security as my final words relieved the weight that I didn’t know was on my shoulders. I thought that the last time I saw Trey I wouldn’t need to say my peace but saying it now, I felt as if I could breathe easier.

“I don’t need you to forgive me, Y/N.” He scoffed. “Noah will never love you and that you won’t blame me for.”

My lips twitched in a smile as I breathed through the last of my stray tears. “You’re wrong, Trey. He does love me, and I love him. You won’t disturb my peace anymore, never again. I’m moving on, and I’m happy. You should be sad, and truly I feel sorry for you.”

I took a step back to stand in between Chase and Malcolm just as security snuck up behind Trey.

“I hope you choke in your sleep while you're dreaming of me. I fucking hope when you suffocate in your sheets that I'll be the last thing you see. Goodbye, Trey,”

My hands shook at my side, something that Joe noticed so he gave them a reassuring squeeze.

One of the security guards grasped Trey’s elbow to drag him out but he ripped it from the guy's grasp. Trey eyed all four of us, his gaze lingering on me a few seconds longer than the others before he spat on the ground at my feet.

The old me would have let that bother her. But the new me simply smirked as I watched security escort Trey out of the building.

Ethan came up to us in haste as he looked back towards Trey. “What the fuck was he doing here?!”

Malcolm made sure that Trey was out of sight then turned towards Ethan, pointing a stern finger at him. “Do whatever you can to get that piece of shit blacklisted from any Hollow Souls shows in the future.”

“Bad Omens too,” I nodded firmly.

Chase cupped my cheek. “Sweet, are you alright?”

Through tears, I nodded. “I’m okay. I didn’t realize how badly I needed that.”

“How do you feel?” He had a faint smile on his lips.

I gnawed on my bottom lip, really thinking about Chase’s question.

Relief.

This felt like a new wave of freedom. Something I’ve yet to experience in a long while. A new form.

I looked back at my new friend and then at my brothers; my family. Those who bring a sense of love into my life. We can make choices to care for the self and still be kind. I had so much to say to him. It felt good to release it- yet; still I killed him with kindness. Something he’d never dare show me.

You can care better for others from strength than weakness.

At the expense of my own comfort. It’s a prudence with integrity that awaits the right moment to be brave. I felt brave.

I was ready for my new beginnings.

Joe motioned behind me. “Come on, I’ll walk you to your bus.”

While Malcolm and Chase hung back to talk more with Ethan about what happened I allowed Joe to lead me outside. The cool night air danced around me with a comforting touch and I let it ease my heated skin. As I made the walk towards where the bus was, Joe had other plans and dragged me to a bench at the back of the venue.

“What?” I asked.

“Sit.” When I didn’t move, Joe nodded to the bench behind me. “Sit down, Y/N. Take a breather. I can see the rage in your eyes and the vein in your neck is doing a weird twitch thing.”

Instinctively, my hand went to my neck, rubbing at it, before sitting on the bench with a long breath; Joe doing the same.

We let a long beat of silence fall between us and with the sudden breeze of cold air, I shivered and covered my bare arms suddenly wishing I didn’t wear the dress with skinny straps.

“Cold?” Joe wondered.

When I nodded, he handed over his jacket which I took gratefully. “I’ll make sure to give it back to you.”

“Good,” he snorted playfully. “Because it’s my favorite.”

I chuckled while easing onto the bench, now warm. “About what happened inside with Trey-.”

Joe bumped his shoulder with mine. “Don’t even worry about it. I’ve been through something similar. I did love how you threw in lyrics from Clarity in Kerosene. ”

I rubbed my hands on my thighs, suddenly nervous. “Uh, yeah. Your album Reaper means a lot to me so it felt therapeutic in a way.”

We sat for another long while, enjoying the quiet that shocked us for being in the middle of the city. It was in the middle of the night but neither of us was complaining.

“It’s an honor doing this tour with you, Joe. I’ve been a fan for so long.” I smiled at him.

“Hey, the honor is all mine,” he ran a hand through his hair with a sheepish smile. “Hollow Souls has been on my playlist for a long time.”

A familiar memory of long ago crept into my mind of someone saying the same thing.

“We're huge fans of Hollow Souls. Noah has your music on the playlist we play during the wait time for our shows.”

“Ya know, someone else told me the same thing the first time I met him,” I said with a warm smile.

Joe’s brow peaked. “Yeah? Seems like I’ll have to meet this someone.”

Noah flashed in my mind now; his infectious smile, his bright almond eyes, and the sound of his laughter made my heart flutter. Even though he was hundreds of miles away, our souls were always connected. It was as if he was sitting right here with me. I could feel the ghost of his hand on my thigh and his lips on mine.

“I love you, angel,” those eyes glimmered as he watched me.

“Hm,” I hummed while bumping my shoulder with Joe’s again. “Maybe someday.”

READER

As I stepped out of the bathroom, towel-drying my long locks, I sighed in content and made work of getting ready. It was an off day but I had no plans, something I intended to keep so much so that I was dressed in a pair of Bad Omens joggers and a black crop top tank. My typical stay-home outfit.

Just when I was about to load up my laptop to continue writing, there was a persistent knock on my hotel room door. It wasn’t Chase or Malcolm since they mentioned to me earlier that they were spending the day doing a joint interview and then getting something to eat.

Some would think it was weird that I wasn’t going to an interview with them but Hollow Souls were all for doing our own separate interviews or joint. I did my fair share of solo ones, the same with Chase and Malcolm. I actually had one planned in a few days so I wasn’t too upset about skipping out on this one today.

“Joe?” I asked while leaning against the open door. “What’s up?”

He smiled while giving me a once-over. “Good, you’re dressed. Grab your things and let’s go.”

“Go where?” My brows furrowed.

“We’re not going to waste the day away inside. I have our whole afternoon planned,” Joe adjusted his hat.

“You do, huh?” I chuckled while leaving him on the threshold of the open door so I could grab my things, not wanting to forget the small camera I brought along for this tour, and slipped on a pair of white Converse.

With the door closed behind me, I let Joe lead me toward the elevator where we waited for it.

“There’s this sunflower field I was thinking we could check out,” Joe said.

“That sounds nice,” I smiled while we both stepped into the elevator.

“Hilary sent it to me this morning and said it would be a great place to clear your head with what happened last night,” he informed.

“Did you tell her-?” I chewed on the inside of my cheek as the elevator descended.

Joe quickly shook his head. “Nope. I only mentioned how you needed to clear your head.”

“Thank you,” I breathed when the doors opened.

For the next few hours, Joe and I enjoyed the peacefulness of the sunflower field. We laughed, we joked, and he told me about his life growing up as I did the same. He also told me about an ex of his that messed him up mentally causing him to hide away for a year.

“I had to cancel shows because the depression and panic attacks were so bad I had to seek treatment,” Joe said as we neared the end of the sunflower maze. “I went to hospitals, sat with monks in Buddhist temples, and went to therapy. I was so mad that someone took years out of my life.”

I smiled solemnly. “I understand what that’s like.”

“Therapy told me that I need to stop hating the world and hating myself. I found someone who showed me what love is and I’ll forever be grateful for her,” Joe said.

“She sounds like a lovely person, Joe. I’m glad you were able to find your happy ending.”

We came to a stop in front of a large patch of sunflowers with him a few spaces in front of me.

“Hey,” I called after him, beckoning him to turn around so I could take a picture of him.

His black hood was pulled over his hat and a small bag crossed over his chest. Although he didn’t smile on his lips, I could see it in his eyes.

“It seems like you found your own happy ending,” Joe noted.

My cheeks burned as I waved him off. “Oh, no. Not yet. We’re not official.”

“But you text each other every night at 10 o'clock to say I love you?”

“It’s-,” I pursed my lips while looking around the field. “Complicated”.

Being in an open field like this, the breeze blowing through my hair, made me remember the last time I was in a place of solace like this.

Earlier that day.

"Noah?" I asked while looking up at him through lashes.

"Yes, angel?"

"You have a cute nose," my voice was quiet.

Noah tilted his head to the side. "My nose?"

"Yeah. It's just the perfect size for your facial structure," I booped his nose.

"Did-did you just boop my nose?" Noah chuckled with a scrunched face.

"See!" I pointed to him. "You look so fucking cute; it's insane."

"Angel, literally.”

"Mochi, literally," I mocked while sticking out my tongue.

Joe’s soft voice brought me out of the memory and I blinked at me. “Hm, I’m sorry. Did you say something?”

“Do you want to be with Noah?” He asked his question again while gripping the strap of his bag.

“More than anything,” I answered without missing a beat.

He shrugged. “Then what’s holding you back?”

I licked my lips while shifting on my feet. “It’s not as easy as you think. After that party, so much happened and things were said that I can’t exactly forget. I was hurt and needed time away.”

“So you just left?”

Hearing the reality of what I did from someone else made the guilt eat away at my insides and my heart sunk low.

“I needed to get my head together,” I defended while adjusting the black beanie on my head.

“Do you guys even talk? Besides the usual 10 p.m. texts?” Joe asked.

Not wanting to speak, I shook my head with a long breath.

“Y/N, this might not be my place, but that wasn’t very fair of you to do that.”

I bit my lip, not trying to snap at Joe because all he was doing was being a good friend; something I needed.

“My therapy session is tomorrow. I didn’t need it today,” I sighed while running my hands up and down my thighs.

“My friend, you do,” Joe snorted. “Why are you so afraid of committing to this?”

I played with the string of my joggers, really mewling over his question. Noah and I moved past all the bullshit and we’re ready to finally be together. So what was I so afraid of?

With a wobbly lip, I let out a shaky breath and met Joe’s eyes. “I just don’t want to disappoint him, I don’t want him to ever feel like I don’t support him or something.”

He squeezed my arm. “I don’t think you can. If you’re both more than aware that you’re human beings, Y/N.”

“Understandable,” I nodded. “But I don’t want him to know how flawed I can be.”

“It’s vital to face hard facts and choose to be present, honest, and mindful of what’s happening in the life of your relationship. You guys aren’t even official yet and you’re worrying about shit that you don’t need to.”

Birds chirping were muted by the sudden commotion of a group of people arriving at the sunflower patch but neither Joe nor I moved from the end of the maze we finished a while ago.

“You’re not robots, Y/N.” He began. “Erase any confusion or doubt surrounding your needs so you can learn to powerfully communicate your needs. You both need to talk. Get it out of yourselves, don’t curl up with shit alone. Don’t do that to him. Don’t assume the worst about him, especially when you haven’t even discussed things properly.”

I crossed my arms over my chest while shifting all of my weight to one foot. “I never even noticed. In hindsight, I thought I was doing something validating. Turns out I hurt him numerous times, and he still did nothing but try to love me. Even when I wasn’t perfect. I left him alone in that hotel room because things became to real. I left him the night of the party because we both admitted we love each other. And I do. I love him, Joe. I love him so much. I want us to work. But I don’t understand why I keep leaving him. I don’t want it; I just do.”

Joe gave me a warm smile. “I know, Y/N. You should talk to your therapist about this. I think she can give you more insight than I can offer but just know I understand. You need to approach Noah and this relationship with a loving spirit, believing that he will love you and we want to satisfy you in every way. That he is deserving of your love and kindness even if things feel too good to be true. Feel it out, you’re probably that good of a fit.”

I playfully rolled my eyes. “Joe, I don’t need another therapist.”

He snorted. “No, you don’t, but I’d like to think I’m your friend and I’m telling you, that doing this to someone you love isn’t fair. Noah deserves to communicate with you too. I haven’t met the guy or seen the two of you together but from what you told me I already know. He fucking loves you, Y/N.”

“I love him too, so fucking much, okay? I do,” I admitted with tears in my eyes.

“I’m not saying you don’t/. I don’t know everything but, from my experience and what I’ve learned, shit like this can ruin a perfectly good relationship because we simply don’t tell ourselves the truth.”

I cocked my head to the side confused. “Truth about what?”

“About why you’re subconsciously running,” Joe said. “You’re scared shitless and this avoidance can lead to procrastination that delays dealing with damaging stressors on or within your relationship. It did until the pipe finally burst at the birthday party.”

“Should I be paying you by the hour?” I joked with a small chuckle.

“If you want to,” he snorts. “No, but come on. If you want him to be there for you, to be your everything, then you have to give half as well.”

“I know. I want to. I’ve been feeling so sick lately without him.”

It was true.

Noah and I seemed to have been brought together by this unknown force. The universe? Maybe: we didn’t believe in high powers, yet also knew we weren’t alone.

Staggered over weeks, months, or years. In this time the pain of our separation was an act as a focusing lens. The point was to give each other time to see the purity of our love, to be sure that there can be only one lover for this lifetime.

Seems silly, especially in this era. Yet, it’s how I feel. I just know.

I get almost neurotic to my knees. I know that I must get enough sleep. He made a sham of my pain. I feel like I blew a hole in my heart with an ice-cold magnum.

Why, when he’s not around I feel lonely when there’s company around. I’m not lost, but I have been found. That level of emotional indifference is not a mark of superiority, but the reverse. I was always worth more, I just needed to educate myself as to how and why.

It hit me. My body yearned for the other half of me. The lovers who are right for one another take away the other pain naturally, by virtue of who they are the strength of their loving bond.

I couldn’t wait to embrace him again.

Joe peered over his shoulder, noticing a group of people slowly reaching us so he motioned for me to start walking in step with him. “Of course you do. It’s like half of your entire body is ripped apart and begging for the other half back.”

I smacked his arm. “Yes, exactly like that! Even though we’re far apart from each other right now, I still know subconsciously what he’s doing without actually knowing.”

“Exactly. So you two need to talk together about what you’re facing. Discuss the realities and your key concerns. Listen to each other and reflect on what you hear for optimal understanding. Be curious and open-minded concerning each other’s ideas and solutions for relief and change. If you love him, meet him in the middle like you’re saying in the song, Y/N. Don’t just use words, act too.”

We reached the rental car and Joe leaned against the driver's door. “What do you want this song to do; to say?”

My forehead creased as I put deep thought into Joe’s question. “I think I want to expose the vulnerability. I’m kind of like star light. Maybe it can guide the way to the ones who must travel by night. The ones who don’t know that there is something special waiting for you if you keep pushing forward.”

Joe bumped his fist with mine. “I love that, a reminder for people. However, it’s not just about that.”

“No, no it isn’t,” I chuckled. “It’s special that we aren't so different, him and I. Somehow together we are balanced. As yin and yang, but a perfect match. All I want is for him to ask me to stay again, and I’ll always say yes.”

JOE

The conversation between Malcolm and Chase was muted as we sat at the hotel restaurant, my food going cold a while ago. After my afternoon with Y/N at the sunflower field with our conversation and everything that happened last night, something was weighing heavy on my mind.

Malcolm must have sensed it because he waved a hand in front of my face. “Everything alright?”

My eyes snapped up towards him and I nodded. “Oh yeah, yeah I’m good. I’m just reflecting on that whole interaction last night.

Chase hummed while resting an arm over the back of Malcolm’s chair. “We’re sorry Trey pulled you in the middle of it.”

“It’s fine but he’s a fucking piece of work,” I said.

Malcolm took a long drink of his beer. “Yeah. He’s always been a piece of shit. It was like that for fucking years. Trey tried to dictate everything she did. What the band did. He was off doing what he wanted when he wanted. Y/N would fall into it time after time until-.”

“Til Noah?” I asked with a hint of a smile.

“Yeah,” Chase spoke next. “Have you ever heard of Bad Omens?”

“I’ve heard their name and listened to a couple of their songs. But I’ve never seen his face until recently,” I said.

“Did he send her a dirty photo?!” Malcolm’s eyes widened.

“No!” I shook my head with a chuckle. “Y/N showed me a picture of him in braids.”

“Oh, that picture,” Chase snorted.

I continued again. “Noah has a great range and a good ear; talented guy. He seems crazy about Y/N from what she said.”

“Oh, he is. Shit, he’s over the fucking moon and back and everything fucking else. They have some otherworldly shit going on.”

“Oh yeah? Think so?” I asked Malcolm.

He shared a look with Chase, both of them smiling. “We know so. Noah made her fucking smile again. Laugh in a way we hadn’t heard in so long. He gave her confidence when she desperately needed it. Y/N became herself again. It’s been so beautiful to watch her hatch from the sick cocoon she was in. Last night was a terrific example. We’re so proud of her.”

“Yeah, that was something; the way she stood up to him. She kicked his ass. I may not have been around or anything for long, but that was awesome to see. I’d like to talk to Noah about it.”

Chase and Malcolm shared yet another look, the former's brows raised as he looked at me.

“You want Noah’s number? That’s a bit random, no?”

“I just want to formally introduce myself,” I assured them. “To let him know how Y/N was last night and how awesome your record is.”

“Is that all you want to let him know? Or do you want to make sure Noah knows that you’re not a threat? Because he knows you aren’t. And he also knows that Trey hasn’t come near her,” Malcolm reassured me.

“No, it’s not even about that,” I leaned forward on the table to rest my arms on it. “I want to keep him in the loop, I have a feeling they’re still working out this what do I say or not say phase. Y/N’s become a friend now, and I’d like to also reach out my hand so he knows things are cool on our end.”

I shrugged. “Plus, Noah deserves to know how badass she is and that she can take care of herself.”

After dinner, on my way back up to my hotel room, I had my phone in my hand as I worked out the message to Noah.

Me: Hey Noah, this is Joe. I got your number from Chase and Malcolm. This is a little awkward but I wanted to introduce myself. I’ve actually listened to your band- you’re really talented! The acoustic version of If I’m There was killer, seriously.

Now in my room, I sat on the edge of my bed to send another text.

Me: I’m texting you because I’m sure you saw the video of what happened with Trey and Y/N. I will firstly say, she’s fucking awesome! And I’m honored to be on this tour with her and the guys. Incredible musicians and incredible people. Gearing back to the whole Trey situation, he showed up out of nowhere; but I feel it’s important to let you know, at least from my side, that Y/N kicked ass. She stood up for herself and I could see she felt a world of relief.

Only a few minutes went by when Noah texted back.

Noah Sebastian: Hey Joe, it’s Noah. I’ve heard a lot about you as well. Y/N has been a huge fan of yours for a long time. She was stoked about this tour, and yes she is awesome. Y/N’s special to a lot of us. She’s a genuine person and has a heart of gold; Chase and Malcolm as well. I appreciate your kind words. That means a lot. You know how it is- especially in this industry. And I did see the video, unfortunately. You were there?

I quickly responded to Hilary’s text before typing out my reply to Noah.

Me: In case she needed support.

Noah Sebastian: Right, thank you for that. I hated what Trey said, I wish I could have stopped it myself but I also know how important it was for Y/N to have closure. I’m so fucking proud of her.

I let out a loud laugh when I saw the meme Y/N sent me but swiped away the message for right now, continuing to text Noah.

Me: You should be proud. She’s awesome and she’s over the moon about you. From what I’m told you really lit a fire inside her, and that seems to be shining through. My partner did that for me when I found her and I’m sure it’s the same for you as well. So I just wanted to pass this along and formally introduce myself. I’m sure Y/N will bring this up to you but I wanted to show you how I saw it on my end. I hope we can meet soon.

Me: Oh, also. Hollow Souls new record is going to be sick. What they’ve been working on is sounding great.

I busied myself the next long while getting myself packed since we were planning on leaving in a few hours to head to the next city. Once finished, I realized that Noah texted me back almost instantly after I sent the last text.

Noah Sebastian: For sure! Thank you so much. I wish I could be there. But, I understand it’s not the right time. I do hope soon we can chill at my place to shoot the shit. Thank you again for sending me a text. Very kind of you and I’m sure we’ll talk soon. I can’t wait to hear her new album. We’re all very stoked about it. We’re also close to releasing our record, I’d love for you to check it out!

Me: Hell yes!

READER

“And if you and I can make it through the night,” I hummed while sitting in my bunk on the tour bus.

My laptop was perched in my lap as I loaded up Zoom, clicking on Dr. Poulos’ contact. It wasn’t our usual appointment day or time but with what happened the other day, I felt as if I needed an emergency session. It wasn’t because of the negative parts but for the first time in a long while, I felt good. My spirits were high and nothing could wipe the smile from my face.

“Well someone seems like they’re in good spirits today.” Dr. Poulos’ voice sang through my speakers.

Her graying hair was pulled back in a tight bun and she had black glasses perched high on her nose.

“I am actually,” I smiled, the kind of smile that made the corner of your eyes crinkle.

She tilted her head. “Care to elaborate?”

I began telling her the entire story of Trey and my afternoon with Joe from top to bottom; from that night up until now.

“I’m very proud of you, Y/N for standing up for yourself and closing that chapter in your life. And Joe seems like he’s becoming a great friend in the aspect of telling you things you need to hear.”

“Yeah, he is.” I nodded.

Although I was in high spirits before this meeting, something shifted in my brain and I began to stare at the keyboard of my laptop.

“What’s the matter Y/N? You’re slipping into disassociating thought,” Dr. Poulos’ voice brought me back.

“Nothing,” I had a tight lip smile.

“Y/N,” she warned. “We’ve talked about this; you need to be open and transparent.”

Reluctantly, I nodded with a sigh. “Okay, well-.”

When she motioned me on with a nod, I continued. “How- fuck this is embarrassing. How do I stop running away?”

“Do you grasp that’s what you’ve been doing to Noah?”

“I do,” I admitted. “But it hasn’t been intentional. I love him, I’m- I just don’t want to become my parents.”

Dr. Poulos’ gave me a small smile. “It’s great that you’re seeking to address this pattern. Building healthy relationships often involves understanding and addressing the root causes of our behaviors.”

“I’m trying.”

“It might be helpful to reflect on past experiences and identify any underlying fears or insecurities that may be contributing to your tendency to run away from relationships,” she adjusted her glasses.

“I know it’s my mother, I know it is. Noah seemed to know it too since he was there that day she reamed into me,” I said.

Her eyes lit up. “Yes, I remember that day. You were very grateful for him being there weren’t you?”

“More than anything. He’s my safety when I feel like I have none,” I answered.

“That’s wonderful Y/N. In Addition, I suggest practicing self-care, setting boundaries, and communicating openly with Noah as your partner, rather than your friend, which can help build a foundation for more fulfilling and lasting connections. I remember you telling me you finally admitted your love for each other,” Dr. Poulos couldn’t hold back the wide smile on her face now.

“Yes. I do, I do love him and I don’t want to do anything to hurt him. Noah’s already so hard on himself with everything. I don’t want to be one more thing he’s hard on himself about. I want to help, be his escape, and his safe haven. I want him to trust I’ll stay because I want to; I will always stay.”

She wrote something down in her journal before resting her chin in her hand as she looked back at me through her screen. “I know, Y/N. You’ve spoken about this often. Seeking support in this form can also provide valuable insights and strategies for breaking this pattern. I believe the two of you can and you won’t run.”

I ran a hand through my hair, the length becoming a big annoyance lately. “You know so much about this, Dr. Poulos. I don’t know the first thing. I want to be able to communicate with him. Not do what I have been doing.”

“Y/N, it’s normal. It’s critical that before you speak to Noah, you suspend any assumptions or conclusions that put you at odds with him. You absolutely need to approach him by making a generous assumption; and by giving him the benefit of the doubt. This is what it means to be a team, even when you’re feeling distant. You keep loving even when you are feeling as if you are unloveable. You’re not going to do what you did with Trey.”

“Trey.”

His name still tasted bitter on my tongue.

“Yes,” Dr. Poulos nodded. “You got your closure on that chapter. Now this is a new one.

“I can’t shake the fear sometimes. The fear of the feeling coming at me all at once and messing it up,” I shifted in my bunk.

“What I suggest doing when you are feeling upset or angry is to own your emotions and realize that they stem from your interpretation of the situation, not from the facts of the situation. Your fears and deep-seated beliefs about your own sense of inadequacy, unworthiness, or unlovability often lie at the root of all those negative stories you tell yourself about why life is happening the way that it is.”

“Woah,” I blinked. “That’s-uh-a great observation.”

Dr. Poulos narrowed her eyes at me while steepling her fingers under her chin. “I have an assignment for you.”

“Oh, come on! You know how busy I already am,” I joked with a wave of my hand.

She let out a soft giggle. “Yes, well, this will be fairly simple.”

“Take a moment to challenge your assumptions, and allow the possibility that something completely different could be true. Like that, you are loved! And that with patience and respectful communication, you can experience something exceptional with Noah. You said his album is coming out soon, this party could be a great way to try this. Have you thought about going?”

“Of course! I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I said without missing a beat.

“Wonderful Y/N, see this as an opportunity to vulnerably share something about yourself with Noah, be curious so that you, through this experience, can learn something with him, too.”

I’d be the first one to admit that at first, therapy wasn’t something I thought I needed. It was a waste of time to talk about my feelings with someone who didn’t understand. But right now, I was eating my words.

“Joe was right,” I said after a few beats of silence.

“About?” Dr. Poulos shook her head with confusion.

“Discussing this further with you, thank you it helps,” I ended our session with a large smile.

READER

“Not to be overly dramatic. I just think it's best. 'Cause you can't miss what you forget.” Joe sang into the microphone.

I sat in my spot on the couch in the interview space, watching and singing along with a bright smile.

“So, let's just pretend everything and anything between you and me was never meant,” he finished the song with a long breath.

I, along with the interviewer, Jackson, clapped as Joe took a seat next to me on the couch.

“That was phenomenal. We appreciate you being here with us,” Jackson beamed.

My phone buzzed in my lap and with a glance downward, I felt my face warm at the name.

Mochi 🍡: You look phenomenal, angel.

“Thank you,” Joe nodded with a faint smile. “I’m sure I can speak for Y/N that we’re both glad to be here.”

“It seems like the tour is going pretty well. Every show is sold out. How does that feel for you, Joe? I know Hollow Souls are used to this feeling,” Jackson said while fixing his notes, not looking at me.

I tilted my head to the side, tongue brushing over my bottom lip. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He finally looked my way and shrugged. “It's just that Hollow Souls is already pretty popular. You guys are used to playing in front of a sold-out crowd.”

“Are you saying that nothing, nowhere isn’t? Or did you forget that his last headlining tour had three back-to-back sold-out shows?” I questioned with a raised brow.

“Well,” Jackson shifted in his chair across from us and looked at Joe.

He merely ran a hand through his hair. “Number one fan.”

“So,” Jackson cleared his throat. “Everyone online is begging me to ask you two this but what’s the dating situation? There’s so much chemistry between the two of you in the behind-the-scenes clips you guys post on Instagram. Everyone wants to know; are you two dating?”

Joe and I shared a look then I made a show of rolling my eyes while crossing my legs. “Just because a male and female artist tour together, doesn't mean they’re dating.”

My phone buzzed again but this time, I opened the message to read it fully.

Mochi 🍡: Tell him who’s boss, angel. You know who you belong to.

I cleared my throat while setting my phone screen down in my lap just in time for Joe to speak.

“No, no. I’m spoken for.”

Jackson looked at me. “Y/N?”

“That’s my name, yes. Do you have a question about Hollow Souls or the tour?” I said with slight venom in my voice.

Typically I didn’t mind interviews but every once in a while, I’d get an asshole of an interviewer that asked all the wrong kinds of questions.

“Video surfaced online that Trey was at the show a few nights ago and it looked like the two of you were having an intense conversation. Is there a chance he’s joining Hollow Souls again?”

My face twitched as something inside of me burned. I leaned towards Jackson with narrowed eyes.

“Here’s what we’re not going to do; we’re not gonna focus on my love life, or personal life. I make art, not headlines. I’m cool because I'm me, and my band is cool. The art is what’s the focus, not anything else. I do feel as if people need to understand that having a private life is my right. I don’t feel comfortable sharing every aspect. Like I said, I make art, not headlines.”

“That’s a bold statement to make. It comes with the whole fame territory,” Jackson tried to joke.

“I refuse to allow this time in my life to be touched, tainted, or bastardized by anyone,” I finished while crossing my arms over my chest.

While Jackson changed his direction and tone of questions towards Joe for the next couple of minutes, I bounced my knee as the anger continued to fest low in my gut until another text came in.

Mochi 🍡: Fuck I love when you put douchebags in their place. You’re so sexy, angel. Fuck. I’m going to think about you bossing me around all night.

A hot flash of arousal took over every inch of me as I shifted in my spot on the couch, clenching my thighs together to curb the itch that burned there.

“Everything alright?” Joe wondered when he saw the warmth on my cheeks.

I cleared my throat. “Yep. Totally fine.”

It would be so easy to call Noah to have our first phone sex but the thought of messing with him later sounded more fun.

“So, Y/N. I’d love to know what the future of Hollow Souls looks like?” Jackson questioned with a different tone.

“See? It’s not that hard to ask questions that actually matter,” I teased with a smile. “But I don’t think we found ourselves because we always knew we wanted this style and this direction but we never really had the confidence to do that.”

“With this record though, we finally have the assurance to know that we can make it work.”

“Is there inspiration behind this new album?” Jackson wondered.

“I've always been really inspired by dark things and the supernatural for some reason. Ghosts, paranormal stuff, death, anger, sadness.”

I gave pause when I realized that this wasn’t exactly a happy inspiration.

“Well, anything that’s not happy basically inspires me, which sounds kinda messed up,” I admit with a laugh.

“A lot of the new record, I wrote when I was having a really bad time mentally. I don’t like calling it depression but it seemed like that and I couldn’t pinpoint what my issues were, or what was wrong with me but I knew there was something wrong.”

Joe watched with a proud smile and I knew that there were a few others back home watching with their own proud smile; my heart could feel it.

“My problems weren’t tangible things, they weren’t things I could see or explain to people so in a way it was like they were ghosts or spirits that were haunting me,” I continued.

Jackson rubbed his chin. “Why do you think that is?”

I pursed my lips, thinking about my answer deeply. “I think a lot of people are afraid to put it out there and talk about it but we weren’t. I think that might be a big reason people have connected to the songs that have been released so far. I feel like for anyone who’s sharing feelings of topics like that, it’s a little bit scary but I feel it's more therapeutic and cathartic to write about that stuff, to talk about that stuff and put it out there. You feel better about it. To know that other people can connect to that makes you feel even better. As scary as it at first, it eventually just pays off and turns out to be good in the end.”

“Why do you think people can relate to it?”

I shrugged. “I guess because our new album is pretty raw and honest. There’s a lot of topics people can relate to and I think it sounds pretty great, if I do say so myself. We’re pretty proud of it.”

Jackson leaned into his chair. “I would like to jump back to the haunting aspect of this album. Can you elaborate on what exactly is haunting you, if you don’t mind.”

We’d be here all day if I did and frankly, it wasn’t his or anyone who was watching business.

“I’m becoming a very private person as of late so I don’t need to go into the personal aspects of my life. Just know I’m moving past things, and I’m very content. Dare I say happy with where the future will be.”

Jackson nodded. “Fair enough. Would you say you’re hopeful for what the future will bring?”

With a bright smile, I looked directly at the camera that had been pointed at us the entire time and winked.

“Oh yes, more than hopeful.”

Later on that night, when I was in the solace of the bathroom of the tour bus, I wore the skimpy red lace teddy I bought earlier. The necklace and bracelet glinted under the dim light as I extended my arm to take a variety of pictures; the sly smirk never leaving my lips.

With four different pictures attached, I quickly typed out a message to Noah right on the dot at 10 p.m.

Me: You were bold to text me earlier like that, mochi, I could barely contain myself. Here’s a little payback. Hope you’re all flustered and bothered, whatever you’re doing I suppose will have to wait. Dream of me. I love you.

Almost instantly, Noah texted back as I was swiftly changing into my pajamas for the evening. What I thought was one text became four right after the other.

Mochi 🍡: Matt’s right next to me, angel. What if he saw this?

Mochi 🍡: fuck, my dick is throbbing right now but I can’t do shit about it. Consider this my karma.

Mochi 🍡: I can’t stop staring at the picture. Fuck, you’re gorgeous. Beautiful. A true definition of an angel.

Mochi 🍡: I’m going to call you in a little bit. I need to hear your voice. I need it.

Switching off the bathroom light, I walked across the narrow hallway to climb into my bunk and under the covers

Me: I’m going to bed early tonight. Maybe we can talk on the phone tomorrow. I love you.

By the time Noah responded, I was already in a peaceful, dark slumber.

Mochi 🍡: Fuck, I love you too angel. So fucking much.

READER

"Wait," Joe shook his head at us. "You guys do this after every tour?"

Malcolm nodded as he held the door open for all of us. "Every tour. It's become a Hollow Souls tradition."

As we all crowded into the small tattoo shop’s lobby, Joe's eyes brightened with the realization.

“Oh, so that's why you got the tattoo of the anime character on your ankle.”

"Yep, I smiled brightly. "Noah and I got them together on my birthday."

The buzzing was loud in the tattoo shop as I waved at the owner who had no problem staying open late for us tonight. We finished the tour strong tonight with a hype crowd and with the adrenaline still buzzing through us, we decided to get the tattoos as soon as we left the venue.

Joe shifted on his feet while running a hand through his hair. “You’re positive you want to get the Reaper album art tattooed?”

"This album helped me through some dark times in my life. I need to do it, especially with what happened last week. It’ll be a great way to remember a great tour and the new friend I made,” I answered while bumping his shoulder with mine.

After we all checked in and waited, Chase ruffled my hair. “It’s almost 10 p.m LA time, sweets.”

"Shit!" I cursed while quickly whipping out my phone from my pocket. "I can't believe I almost missed it!"

Me: I love you, Mochi. Last night of tour went off without a hitch. Currently getting our typical tattoos. I can’t wait to show you what I get.

I sat on the bed, exposing my left thigh to the artist after she laid down the stencil, and struck up a conversation with everyone as I waited for Noah to respond. Surprisingly, tonight it took him a long while to text back which made my mind wander to what he was up to. My heart didn’t ache and my stomach wasn’t filled with nerves which meant it wasn’t anything terrible.

After my risque picture I sent him the other day, we never had the chance to talk on the phone, but I knew that it still affected him because any chance he could, Noah would send me risque texts throughout the day.

“Thank fuck,” I breathed when my phone buzzed next to me.

Mochi 🍡: I can’t wait to see it, angel. Also, sorry it took me so long to respond. I may have taken Salem to the pet store to spoil him with a few things. I hope you know I plan on keeping him for a bit once you’re back home. Mal said you guys will be busy in the studio so no need for Salem to be home alone. I love you too, angel.

“I would ask who has you smiling like that but it’s pointless. There’s only one person who can do that,” Malcolm snorted while his artist wrapped up his tattoo.

I stuck out my tongue at him. “Noah told me he took Salem shopping.”

Chase rolled his eyes playfully. “And you say he’s not Salem’s dad yet.”

Before I could set my phone down, another message came through; one I read with a fast beating heart.

Nick R : February 23, 2022. 929 Angelus Street. Turn Right on Luna Ave. Overnight valet is already handled. No, Noah doesn’t know when to expect you. Don’t be late, Cinderella.

Nick R: The theme is red. I think you know why. Do with that what you will.

Oh shit, that was in just over two weeks. Which meant I needed a dress. And new shoes. A new hairstyle wouldn’t hurt either.

With a smile, I responded back to Nick.

Me: We will be there! Unlike Cinderella, I have no intention of losing my shoe and missing my Prince Charming.

Nick R: Oh good! We are merely the mice.

CHASE

I grumbled under my breath as I scrubbed out the fresh red paint out of the dining room carpet. How many times have I told her to put a damn drop down? Y/N’s lucky I know my way around cleaning supplies and know how to get a stain out.

Malcolm clicked his tongue against his teeth as he leaned against the wall, staring down at me as I continued to scrub on my hands and knees.

“I must say, I love this sight of you. On your knees.”

I snapped my eyes up at him. “Not fucking funny, Mal.”

“I think she’ll be really excited for what Noah has planned,” he noted.

“Oh she’s gonna lose it! In the best way,” I agreed while continuing to scrub.

“I think so too.” Malcolm placed a kiss on my lips before sauntering into the kitchen to get things ready for dinner. “How long do you think Y/N will be?”

“Not sure,” I ran a hand over my buzzed head then threw in the towel; literally.

“You know how she is when she’s let loose in the art supply store. I’d be shocked if she made it back before dinner,” I continued while hopping up on the counter.

Malcolm began setting out the variety of ingredients and I reached for my phone next to me.

Me: Noah, beware of paint all over the carpet.

Noah S: Already taken care of.

I showed Malcolm the text to which he smirked. “Did we expect anything less from him?”

Me: Good. Because even though I love her to the ends of the earth, paint is a fucking bitch to clean.

Malcolm handed me a beer, one I took with a kiss of thanks, and slowly nursed it as Noah texted me back.

Noah S: Here’s the address. I would love it if you and Malcolm come check it out.

Me: Definitely. Let's plan for Friday?

READER

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, eyes locked on the things scattered all over the counter, I found myself dissociating into thoughts of earlier today when we were in the studio. We had one last song to record before we started the final touches but this song was the most important. It needed to be perfect.

I needed to be perfect.

Which is why

“Sweets you’ve gone over the verse we can meet in the middle at least ten times now. I think it’s good.”

Chase reassured me as I came out of the vocal booth with a scrunched up face. I did not like how my voice sounded which prompted me to do vocal take after vocal take.

I fell to the couch in between him and Malcolm. “I need this to be perfect. I hate how my voice is sounding. It can’t sound like this. It can’t.”

“It sounds amazing, Y/N! I promise,” Malcolm said.

“I just-,” I ran a hand through my long hair and groaned. “This is so important to me. I want him to know I’m here. And I’m not going to leave him.”

“Noah knows sweets, he knows. He’s so stoked for this record. You know he’ll love it.”

I tossed my hair on top of my head in a messy bun, exhausted with the length. I needed my neck to breathe. It felt as if I was suffocating under the weight of it.

“Fucking hormones,” I eventually chuckled while wiping tears from my eyes.

Malcolm gave me a weak smile while rubbing my back. “Any pain today?”

“A little but not much. It’s bearable.” I informed them.

Chase nodded while squeezing my knee. “Ok, if you need a break let us know. Don’t push yourself too much. You sound beautiful.”

Salem jumped on the counter, breaking me from my thoughts, and immediately I brought him up in my chest. His green eyes stared up at me in wonder and maybe a little bit of confusion with what he saw.

“Did you have fun with Noah?” I missed you so much,” I cooed.

Noah dropped him off while we were in the studio, us just missing each other by mere minutes.

My fingers scratched at Salem’s neck, now realizing the bright red collar and new tag.

“Oh, dad did in fact spoil you while I was gone. New collar, new tag, a bunch of new sushi toys. Not to mention the bed that can fit a 20 pound dog,” I chuckled.

My shoulders went rigid when I realized what I just said.

Dad.

I just called Noah Salem’s dad.

Swallowing thickly at the acceptance, I then looked at the new tag and felt my heart jump into my throat; heat spreading from the tips of my toes to my scalp.

Oh my heart.

Salem Sebastian-L/N.

And on the front of the tag were symbols I’d never seen before. “Huh, that's weird. What’s with the yin yang and eye symbol?”

Biting my lip, I set Salem down on the counter and picked up my phone instead, quickly dialing the number I had memorized so long ago.

Noah picked up after the second ring. “Hi, angel.”

I twirled a piece of fresh hair around my finger while leaning against the counter.

“Salem Sebastian-L/N huh?”

A quick beat of silence. “Yeah. Figured he needed a collar with his full name. I think he likes me, he was quite needy. Is that alright?”

“Definitely alright, mochi,” I smiled into the phone. “Do the symbols have any meaning?

“You’ll know soon, angel.”

“Okay then. Keep your secrets,” I groaned.

Noah’s infectious laughter made my stomach flip. “Will do, Frodo.”

“I think we are due for a Lord of the Rings marathon soon. You down?” I bit the inside of my cheek, hopeful for his answer.

“Always down, especially with you.”

I did my best to hide my excitement and was thankful Noah wasn’t here to see the way I jumped on the soles of my feet. “Wonderful.”

There was a long comfortable silence before his rich voice came through the speaker.

“I miss you. I love you.”

I played with my necklace. “I miss you too, Noah. I love you.”

“We’ll talk later?”

It was now him who had the hopeful tone.

“Always,” I nodded even though he couldn’t see me.

“Okay.”

I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Goodnight mochi”.

“Good night angel.”

As I hung up the phone, Chase and Malcolm both popped their heads into the bathroom. They had an approving smile on their face.

“Does it look bad?” I asked self-consciously.

Malcolm was the first to speak. “It looks really good, sweets. We’re proud of you.”

“New Era coming, huh?” Chase asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded with a smile. “Yeah I think so. I’m ready for it.”

“Well good. Because we are too,” he knocked on the wall before the two of them disappeared in their bedroom.

Hooking up the blow dryer, I began to dry my now darker and shorter hair, humming along to a song that had been stuck in my head all day.

“I was lost but now I’m found.”

Salem jumped up onto the closed toilet seat, watching me with bright eyes.

“We’re not perfect but we’re proud of who we are,” my voice echoed in the confines of the bathroom.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

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holdmytesseract · 5 months

Text

Gym Sessions & Babies

☆ The Baby Fever AU ☆

Loki & Narfi feat. Y/N

Summary: Loki takes baby Narfi with him for a long overdue gym session - and gives Peter dating advice.

Warnings: thirst - quite a lot... Loki at the gym (Yes, I consider that as a warning.), fluuuff, Loki being the best, sexiest dad and dating advisor

Word Count: 3,7k

a/n: I just had the idea for this and was like: Yes, I have to write it. 👀🔥 @muddyorbsblr knows, tehehe... I hope y'all love the combination of this as much as I do! 😁 Oh, and I absolutely love Loki's and Peter's friendship. 🥹

Baby Fever Crew: @lady-rose-moon @muddyorbsblr @chennqingg @smolvenger @alexakeyloveloki @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @jennyggggrrr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @eleniblue @loz-3 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @fictive-sl0th @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @lovingchoices14 @glitchquake @lokidbadguy @icytrickster17 @mandywholock1980 @november-rayne @xthatpottahfanx @simping-for-marvel @lou12346789 @aagn360 @anukulee @multifandom-worlds @hisredheadedgoddess28 @vbecker10 @jaidenhawke @km-ffluv @lokiforever @crimson25 @kimanne723 @cakesandtom @buttercupcookies-blog @salvinaa @javagirl328 @noideakitten @zombiesnips-blog @dustychinchilla74 @frzntrx @lokisgoodgirl @princess-ofthe-pages @coldnique @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokisrealpurpous

Baby Fever Masterlist °☆• Loki Masterlist °☆• Masterlist

Quietly sneaking down the hallway, Loki slipped the baby monitor into the left, deep pocket of his gym shorts, before he tiptoed straight into direction main door.

The god hadn't seen the gym in weeks. Months. Well, admittedly, he had more important things to do than keeping his godly body in perfect shape. Becoming a father again for example and with that taking care of you; helping wherever he could. Besides, having a newborn was just downright exhausting. In the best way possible, but still. Not to forget that he was spending a lot of time with his princess, too - who enjoyed that her father was home way more often at the moment. There was simply no time for things like the gym.

Until today.

Loki woke up that morning with the absolute motivation to do a few workouts today, and since you were on the road, driving Ella to her friend Tara for a slumber 'party' in the evening, he saw his chance. Sure, he still had to go after his parental duty and watch his little Frost Giant, but said little Frost Giant was sleeping like a rock - at least that was what the god thought...

He tied his wild raven curls into a manbun, checked the baby monitor again, grabbed his stuff and the keys, was ready to leave the apartment - but didn't get that far. Just when he wanted to plant his food behind the doorstep, sprung the baby monitor to life; telling Loki that his son had other plans and was audibly awake now.

A sigh left the god's lips. "Oh, really now?"

He put his things down on the little shelf again and hurried to yours and his shared bedroom. Opening the door, he got immediately greeted by a wide awake Narfi, who laid on his stomach, gurgling happily - even more, when he saw his dad.

"Little prince..." Loki said; putting his hands on his gym shorts clad hips. "Why are you suddenly awake now, huh? You should be sleeping. Didn't sleep very much last night..." Narfi just continued to gurgle and coo; kicking his small legs.

Loki sighed again and stepped over to the little crib; lifted the four-month-old up into his arms. "Did you sense that daddy wanted to leave, huh?" He asked; gently bouncing the little boy up and down and peppering his black fuzz covered head with tiny kisses. "What are we going to do now with you, young man?" Big, innocent ruby eyes looked up into his, causing Loki's heart to flutter. Oh how much he loved his babies.

Narfi clearly enjoyed to be held by his father. Loki could tell. His prince is the same like his princess was, back when she was a baby - and that gave him suddenly an idea.

"Ohhh, I know what we are going to do. Why didn't I think of this earlier?!" Loki smiled and laid Narfi back down in his bed - what he didn't like at all; a complaining whine leaving his small, now pouty lips. "Hang on for a minute, little prince. Daddy will be back within the blink of an eye, I promise!"

Loki quickly made his way to the little storeroom; searching in the depths of random stuff which found its place there over the years. "Where is it?" He asked himself; looking around. "I know I put it somewhere- Ahh! There you are!" With a bright smile, Loki reached for the object of his desire, adjusted it to his upper body and returned to his baby boy.

"Daddy just takes you with him. What do you say, little prince? Would you like that?" Narfi's eyes seemed to shine at his father's words; a heart melting squeal leaving his lips. Loki chuckled, lifting him once again out of the confines of the crib, "I take that as a yes." and strapped him to his chest with the help of the baby carrier he proudly possessed. It was the same baby carrier he used with Ella all those years ago. A smile stretched across the god's face at the memories.

"Do you like it?" Narfi flounced at first quite a bit; being not used to this, but when the baby felt how comfortable it was and how warm, he snuggled further against Loki's chest; enjoying his warmth and closeness. His tiny fingers dug in the fabric of the god's black compression t-shirt; holding on to his father. A big coo left the baby's lips. Loki chuckled; "Thought so." dipping his head to press a lingering kiss on Narfi's head; inhaling his scent. The soft fuzz on his head tickled Loki's chin. "Let's go. Perhaps you're going to get some more sleep, now that you're strapped to my chest. Isn't that a perfect deal, little prince? You get some sleep and almost skin-on-skin contact and I get to have you close and go to the gym. Definitely a win-win situation."

After grabbing a towel and a bottle of water, Loki made his way to the gym - which was luckily just a few floors away.

Said gym was very empty this evening. Nobody was there, except a few agents - and the youngest Avenger, Mr. Parker.

He was running on the treadmill, was highly concentrated - until he spotted Loki and the baby. His eyes stuck on the god; a smile spreading on the young man's face. "Ohh, hey Mr. Lo- woaaaah!" Losing his focus caused Peter to almost stumble and get thrown off the treadmill while waving theatrically, but he made it to catch himself in the last second. "Whoopsies, that was close," Peter whispered to himself, panting, before the smile returned to his face.

"Hey, Mr. Loki! And hello, cute little ice cube!" Loki raised an eyebrow in amusement and smiled. He didn't know why, but somehow he had developed a little soft spot for the Spider kid in the last few years. Peter was just so uncomplicated, funny, friendly and a little bit... clumsy and naive. Since he became a father, he understood the teenager way better than before.

"Hello, Peter." Loki greeted the young man, who was still running fast on the treadmill and stepped over to him. "What are you doing here, in the gym? I never saw you here before..." Peter blushed immediately; his cheeks tinting dark red. "Well, uh, I just thought I could try it; see if the gym is something for me. Mr. Stark said I have to stay fit as an Avenger."

Loki didn't believe a single word. The god chuckled and shook his head. "Peter, you are a very bad liar - and trust me, I'd know. You can't trick the Trickster. I thought you knew that." The teenager's eyes widened in shock and realisation - and this time he really lost all his focus and concentration; got thrown off the treadmill. "Woaaaah!" Almost. Loki's seidr caught the man before he could hit the hard gym ground and hurt himself.

Catching his breath and wiping the sweat from his forehead, he looked thankfully at the older man opposite him. "Oh man... Thanks, Mr. Loki, I lost control a bit..." Loki chuckled, "I saw that." and clapped Peter on the shoulder. "Why don't you go a bit slower first, huh? And tell me why are you truly here in this unknown territory."

The teenager nodded; blushing once more and got back on the treadmill; only jogging this time.

Loki placed his towel and bottle of water on the ground and looked expectantly at the young man. "So? I'm all ears," he assured; gently bouncing up and down, in order to calm the slightly fractious Narfi in his baby carrier. Loki knew that his son wanted more attention from him, so he wrapped an arm around the small boy and cupped his head with the other.

"Well, um, I... I just want to look a bit more after my body and, uh, yeah... Train my muscles..." Loki frowned; his brain trying to connect the dots - until it suddenly hit him. A mischievous smile spreading on his face.

"You are doing this to impress a girl, don't you, Mr. Parker?" Peter looked at the god like a deer caught in the headlights - and Loki knew he was right.

"Thought so," he said; smirking victoriously. "I-I, uh..." Peter stuttered; stumbling over his own words and was still redder than a tomato. "You don't have to be embarrassed, Peter. That is great. I remember, when I fell in love for the first time... It was... wonderful." Peter smiled sheepishly. "Yeah?" "Yes." "Do you remember falling in love with Agent Y/N?"

Loki chuckled; his heart beating faster at the mention of your name. "Oh, Peter... I'm still falling for her... Everyday a little more." Peter smiled. "That sounds beautiful, Mr. Loki..." The god nodded; still bouncing with Narfi softly up and down. "It is. Finding true love is special. Nothing compares to it. I mean, we had a bit of a bumpy start, but... We found each other in the end. And now look at us. Married, since a few months blessed with two children..." Loki looked down at the drowsy baby in his arms. The bouncing had clearly helped and had almost lulled the little Frost Giant to sleep by now.

"Do you intend to court the lady of your interests?" The teenager blinked; a gigantic question mark forming over his head. "Do you wish to take her out on a date?" "O-Oh, um, I don't know, I... I don't even know if she likes me or not, but her, uh, ex-boyfriend was a footballer, so-" "So you thought going to the gym, gaining muscles to look bulky like her ex makes her fall in love with you?" Peter chuckled nervously, "Perhaps?" causing Loki to shake his head immediately. "That is definitely not the right way to do this, young man. Appearance shouldn't be that important to you - or her. Sure, it's not unimportant either, but... Character traits are so much more relevant. If that girl truly likes you and cares about you, she won't care if you have a six-pack or not. Do not change your appearance just to be liked by other people - or girls." Peter sighed; and stopped the treadmill.

"You really think so, Mr. Loki?" "I know so, Peter."

The young Avenger smiled. "Thank you." "You're welcome. If you want more advice in wooing a lady, you can always ask." Loki patted Peter's shoulder. "Also, if you need help with the training, you are welcome to ask me, too. I think I'll be around for quite a while. Depends on how my little man here likes this." The god gestured around the big room. "You'd really help me?" "Sure." The teenager smiled once more. "Thank you, really - but I think, I, uh start slow and stay on the treadmill for now." Loki gave him a nod, "Like you wish." grabbed his things and went to the back of the gym, in order to warm-up a bit. He did a few different stretches - those which were possible with a baby strapped to his chest. Loki was careful the whole time, not to hurt little Narfi - who was dozing off more and more; luckily.

To finish his warm-up, he did a lunge. One knee placed firmly on the ground, the other leg angled in a perfect 90 degree angle. Loki checked on Narfi; looking out for his bent leg to not harm him. In order to prevent that, he made sure that the little boy was basically sitting on his leg. Then he stretched his arms up; stretching all the muscles in his upper body, too. He held that position for quite a few moments - until Narfi's small knee connected full force with his side; hitting him straight in the ribs.

"Ouch..."

Loki got on both knees; breaking the exercise. "What was that for, little prince?" He asked his son, who was looking innocently up at him; nibbling on his tiny fingers. "Was this specific warm-up excercise not to your liking, your majesty?" A heart melting coo left Narfi's opened mouth. "I take that as a yes. Well then..." The god stood up from the mat beneath him. "I think daddy's warmed up enough now anyway. Let us move on." Taking a sip of his water, he walked over to the leg press first. Loki mostly started his training with this gym machine.

He placed the towel on the backrest of the seat and sat down. "Alright..." He changed the weight, lifted up his legs and placed them on the board; again making sure to not squeeze or hurt the baby. "Are you ready, little prince?"

Then Loki started to push; making the muscles in his legs work.

While his dad worked hard, Narfi quite enjoyed the new position he was in. Sure, the baby carrier left not that much space to move (which Narfi didn't want anyway), but due to gravity, he was practically laying on his father's chest now. And that meant more body contact and warmth. Plus, it was a great position to sleep in - as Loki recognised after he was done with the reps.

Sweating and breathing deeply in and out, he looked down to find Narfi peacefully sleeping. The god smiled, "Finally..." and moved on to the next gym machine - the chest press.

Like before, he adjusted the weights, made sure his baby boy was comfortable and started to do his workout.

The chest press was a machine which was especially made to train his pectoral muscles, therefore he felt how hard they had to work, in order to stem the weight. Loki sincerely hoped that the twitch of his pecs didn't wake up Narfi again, since the infant had rested his head against them - or even worse... That he would wake up Narfi with the soft groans and grunts which left his lips. Luckily, though, Narfi kept on napping; curled up in the baby carrier and against his dad's upper body.

It turned out that Loki's plan of combining the gym and looking after his son was working quite well. So far, it had only benefits - and since Narfi was some extra weight he carried, the workout was even better. And so, Loki went from one gym machine to the next; deciding to make a long gym session today.

At some point, he was left alone in the big room. Even Peter bid his goodbye some time.

You tried to gently kick the main door shut with your foot; balancing the keys and the few groceries you got in your hands and arms. Somehow switching on the light and manoeuvring the key into the little bowl on the shelf beside the door, you slipped out of your shoes and made your way into the kitchen.

"Babe?" You whisper-yelled; not knowing if the newest addition to the family was asleep or not.

You received no answer.

"Babe?!"

And again; no response. Frowning you put the groceries down on the kitchen counter.

Just as you wanted to start searching for your husband and baby, you found the little note Loki had left you.

'Dear darling,

if you are looking for your men, you are going to find them in the gym. ;)'

You raised an eyebrow, "The gym?" but smiled. Of course, you decided to visit them, but first the groceries had to be taken care of. But after that was done, you made your way to the gym, which was just a few floors away - totally unprepared in what you walked into...

Barely after stepping through the doors, you could already hear your husband. Deep breaths and some grunts and groans were urging to your ears and sending a tingle down your spine. And as if the sounds weren't already sinful enough, no you also had to walk in on Loki doing sinful things - at least for your eyes...

He was at the pull-up bar, doing pull-ups. Nothing abnormal or unusual - but it was his look that almost brought you to your knees.

Loki was sweaty; telling you that he must've been here already quite a while - and him training was already hot itself. You could see the sweat glistening on his bare upper arms. A few droplets were running down the back of his neck, causing a few loose raven strands - which had escaped his manbun, to stick to the skin there.

The pull-ups he did made the strong muscles in his upper back and especially shoulder blades twitch and flex - and due to the fact that your god wore a sleeveless compression t-shirt, you saw everything. Every bulge, curve and dip.

That, combined with the unholy sounds he made and Narfi being strapped to his chest almost send you into the stratosphere. It was simply too hot too handle. Loki was too hot too handle. Your brain and the still slightly crazy hormones coursing through your system conjured a dangerous cocktail of emotions within your body. You wanted to scream and howl; right before jumping Loki like a feral woman. And on the other hand you felt your ovaries exploding with all the cuteness and love. Men and babies.

You were positively a mess.

Not being able to function properly, you just salivated and stared at your husband, without even recognising it.

Only a dark chuckle, followed by a smooth velvet voice was able to rip you out of your trance.

"You should take a picture, darling. I heard it lasts longer."

You blinked; tried to focus again, and noticed that Loki was standing now suddenly in front of you - a sight which wasn't any less sexy. "O-Oh, um, h-hi babe," you said happily; somehow trying to save the awkward situation.

Loki only chuckled further and placed a big, strong, veiny hand on Narfi's small back (almost swallowing it whole); caressing it gently to keep him asleep. That didn't help your situation at all. Especially since it was the hand on which ring finger his wedding band was, reminding you that Loki was your man. Surreal sometimes.

You swallowed hard; eyes fixated on his hand. Why was it so hot in here all of a sudden?

"Hello, my love," he said with a small chuckle. "Is everything alright? You look a bit flustered." Cheeky, little shit. He knew exactly what was going on. "S-Sure, it's just-" Loki shifted; adjusted the baby carrier and his gym shorts; letting the waistband snap deliciously against his sweaty skin. "Babe, would you please stop that!" You whisper-yelled out of sheer desperation. You couldn't take much more. You were sure of it.

Loki just smiled mischievously. "Stop what, my queen?"

Ugh... "You know exactly what I mean, Mister! Stop being so... so illegally hot and sexy! You can't just do pull-ups in front of me, being all sweaty and having our baby strapped to your chest!" Loki’s smile even widened, before he stepped dangerously slow closer to you - until he was able to place his free hand on your hip. The other hand has wandered up and was now supporting Narfi's small head. A mix of sweat and the remains of Loki's cologne hit your nostrils - and you had to fight hard to not shamelessly moan.

"And why is that?" He practically growled; giving you a smouldering look and softly squeezing your hip.

You whined. "Because I squeezed this-" You gestured at Narfi. "Huge tiny Frost Giant out of my body only a few months ago and therefore not should be thinking about sex yet!" It was frustrating.

The god's eyes widened softly at the sudden realisation and the meaning behind your words. It caused his demeanour to shift within milliseconds. The mischievous smile melted into a compassionate, almost sorrowful look and his hand slipped up from your hip to curl around your waist, his other hand following instantly; thumbs starting to caress your clothed skin softly. "Apologies, my love. I-I didn't think of that. I should've known and stop. I am so sorry." You shook your head; a loving smile spreading on your lips.

Isn't he just perfect?

"Don't be, baby. It's okay. My hormones are still a bit delulu, you know... It's not your fault that my body reacts like a horn dog." Loki nodded; "Yes, but I shouldn't have made it worse..." and leaned forward to press a lingering kiss against your forehead.

"Forgive me?"

You smiled; wrapping your arms around his neck.

"You're already forgiven."

Barely after those words had left your lips, you pulled your husband into one sweet, loving kiss after the next - until a small whine, coming unmistakably from the small boy between you and Loki interrupted the little make out session.

You pulled your lips from Loki's with a soft pop and took a step back; eyes immediately landing on your son. He was awake now; still a bit sleepy ruby eyes trying to look at you and tiny white romper clad legs kicking the air - and their daddy.

"Hiii, baby!" You cooed; leaning down to be on eye-level with Narfi, so that you could smooch the soft, chubby cerulean skin of his cheeks. It caused him to screech and squeal happily. "Did you have a great time with daddy at the gym? Yes? Were you a good little prince and slept for another while?"

Loki smiled, watching his wife and son. "Positive, love. I enjoyed today's gym session and the little man enjoyed being carried around the whole time. It was a win-win situation, honestly. And after a while, he slept in."

You looked up at the god; smiling. "A perfect solution then." Loki nodded; placing a kiss on the infant's fuzz covered head.

"He should be hungry soon, right? When did you lastly feed him a bottle?" You asked; tracing your thumb over the ridges and marks on your son's tiny hand. "About three hours ago, so... Yes." "Alright. Time to eat then, I'd say. Shall I take Narfi with me, so that you can spent some more time training?" Your husband shook his head, "No, my love, but thank you. I've trained enough for today. I'll join you." grabbed his towel and empty water bottle and reached for your hand; his fingers slipping through yours. "Let's go." You smiled at Loki; squeezing your intertwined hands. "Alright."

#the baby fever au #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki x female reader #loki #loki x you #loki fanfiction #tom hiddleston x reader #loki fluff #loki x y/n #loki laufeyson x reader

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sebuckyverse · 1 year

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for a good time, call [4]

modern!rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader

series summary: Eddie Munson is a burnt out rockstar, touring the country. When he finds a phone number written on a bathroom wall, he strikes an unusual friendship with a coffee shop barista who has no idea who he is.

warnings: 18+ cussing, m!masturbation, dirty talk, flirting, self-doubt, misunderstandings, mutual pining, angst, strangers to friends to lovers word count: 5,2k

an: the penultimate chapter!! i'm sorry for... the ending mwahaha, i love pain y'all know that. anyway i hope you like it as always, pls let me know. don't forget to reblog babes! <3

chapter three ♫ masterlist ♫ askbox

chapter four ♫♪♩·.¸¸

Eddie's in New York. He loves this city, the one that never sleeps. It's so different from Hawkins. New York is fast paced, bustling crowds full of people rushing to wherever they were going. Eddie feels like he blends in, no one pays attention to him because they don't have the time typically. The past two weeks have been quick, time is flying by with the end of the year in sight. Eddie's been busy too. Besides his usual routine of touring, he's been silently seeking new management. He's had a couple meetings with potential new managers, under the radar of course. They were both successful, he'd say. But there was one woman who he really liked. She was a bit older, in her 40s maybe, but she was smart, experienced and compassionate when Eddie talked about his professional struggles with his current team. She kind of reminded him of his mom, too...

The two shows they have in Madison Square Garden start tomorrow and to be honest, he feels bittersweet about it. This is literally his dream coming true, both shows have been nearly sold out too. While he's extremely grateful to be playing at one of the biggest stages, he feels guilt and shame, it's been gnawing his stomach the moment they arrived in the city last night. He didn't get much sleep over it, either, and he gave up trying when the sun first peeked out from the horizon.

It's only a little after 7am, when he takes a walk through the concrete jungle, walking past the Garden with the Empire State Building looming behind it. He's in comfortable clothes - light blue jeans, ripped at the left knee and right thigh, a simple grey hoodie pulled over his head, with his hair in a low bun underneath and his signature jean vest pulled on top, rocking a pair of white high top sneakers on his feet. And since it was early morning and he wasn't in work mode yet, he had his glasses on. Round shaped with thick, clear rims. From his left pocket, he pulls out his phone and finally dials the number he's been avoiding like the plague.

''Eddie? Is that you, son?'' Wayne's voice shoots out after a couple of rings.

''Yeah, it's me.'' Eddie sighs, thankful he was outside as he could already feel his chest tightening. ''Before you say anything, j-just let me explain, please.''

Wayne doesn't say anything and Eddie takes a deep breath before letting go, ''I've been stupid and selfish. I've let other people control me and my life for so long now, when I should've been the one in charge. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I trusted the wrong people. I pushed you away because you were the only sensible thing I had left and I didn't want you to see the loser I had become. Unbeknownst to them, someone has helped me see the things a bit more clearly. I'm still figuring some stuff out, but I just wanted you to know that I'm really fucking sorry and I miss you.''

He feels like a ton has been lifted off his shoulders. Eddie sniffs and clears his throat. It takes Wayne a minute to process, so he just keeps walking in silence.

''First of all, you're not stupid. You're young and making mistakes is part of growing up. Now I would have appreciated if you had figured things out sooner, but I'm glad you did. I didn't want to push too much, I knew you needed to fight your way out of this yourself. I've been keeping tabs on you, some kids showed me the way around a computer.'' Wayne chuckles and it makes Eddie huff along, too. ''I miss you too, son. You're the furthest thing from a failure, Ed, and I'm very proud of you. You're a brilliant young man, I need you to remember that.''

Eddie swallows thickly, fixing his glasses. ''You're the one I look up to, so whatever I may be - it all came from you.''

''Oh, I don't know about any of that,'' his uncle drawls, ''you were always independent, looked out for yourself. I was just there when you needed me.''

''I always need you. I'm in New York right now, we're playing the Garden... Like I always wanted,'' Eddie says, his voice getting quieter.

''What's the matter then? You don't sound too happy about it.''

''No, I am,'' Eddie defended, ''It's just weird without you here, I guess I always pictured it differently. I was thinking - maybe I could fly you out for a show?''

''I'd like that. Not tomorrow though, I'm working,'' Wayne replied and Eddie smiled to himself, blinking away the (happy) tears that threatened to fall.

''That's fine, the day after tomorrow then? It's two shows.''

''Sounds like a plan.''

''Shit, okay. Let me work out some details and I'll text you later?''

''That's fine, Ed. Listen, I'm thrilled that you called but duty calls. I have used up all of my smoke break minutes for today,'' Wayne joked.

''Yeah, okay.'' Eddie chuckled. ''I'll see you in two days, then.''

''Two days,'' his uncle confirmed.

They said their goodbyes and Eddie hung up, unable to process what just happened. He mentally kicked himself for not doing this sooner, he would have felt a lot better a long time ago. With a lot more prep in his step, Eddie googled the nearest coffee shop. He needed the caffeine for today and his stomach was grumbling, he left the hotel way before breakfast was served. After following the instructions his phone told him, he arrived in front of a corner shop with. He stood in front of it, hesitating. Is this were you worked at? What would he do if you did? He could already see a girl behind the counter - was that you? He had no idea what you looked like. Would he recognize you by just your voice? Only one way to find out.

He pulled the door open and stepped inside, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and warm bread hitting him in a wave.

''Good morning,'' the girl behind the counter cheered. She sounded similar, sure, but he couldn't tell 100%.

''Uh, hi.'' Eddie stepped closer to the counter, pretending to look around.

''What can I get- oh, it's you.'' the girl gasped and Eddie froze. ''You're Eddie, right?'' she whispered.

Oh shit, was this it? Was it you? He didn't feel like it was you. He had a special feeling whenever he talked to you, which you two had been doing almost every day now. He had started feeling shitty about not coming clean about who he was, you had opened up so much already, when he had only given you crumbs. You didn't seem to mind though, or if you did you didn't show it.

''Yeah..'' Eddie blinked, playing with his glasses, his hands shaking a little bit.

''Wow, you're really cool. I saw you and your band live a few weeks ago. You're great!'' she said coolly, a polite smile on her face.

Eddie smile back politely, hiding his disappointment. It wasn't you, obviously. He was stupid to think he'd find you at the very first coffee shop he set his foot in. ''Oh, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.''

''Yeah, I have to admit I wasn't a fan before, but my girlfriend dragged me along. Anyway, I actually really liked it, so...''

''Hey, that's cool. Anyway,'' he cleared his throat, ''you got any good coffee?''

''Oh, for sure. Here or to go? What kind of coffee would you like?''

Eddie gave his order and she typed away on her screen. Black coffee, medium size, two sugars, to go. His empty stomach also didn't go unnoticed. ''Got any pastry recommendations?''

''Sweet or savoury?'' the girl asked, sliding his cup towards him on the counter, topping it with a lid.

''I'm not sure. Sweet maybe?'' Eddie cocked his head, looking at the display of shiny golden bread in front of him.

''I'd recommend the chocolate croissant or the almond buttercream eclair. The croissant is our most popular one, but the eclair is my friends favorite.''

''I'll go with the eclair then,'' he decided, pulling out his wallet and digging for some cash.

The girl packed his pastry in a box and placed it on the counter next to his coffee. Eddie threw her a twenty, even though his bill was 11 dollars. ''Keep the change. You've been most helpful...''

''Robin,'' she finished.

''Robin, thank you. Hope to see you at another show!''

Eddie walked the long way back to the hotel, sipping his coffee and munching on his eclair. Both of which were incredible, by the way. He figured he'd go back if he had the time. When he got back to his room, he had finished the food and took the last sip of coffee, throwing it in the empty basket under the desk.

.•♫•♬•

You were out of the city, in Brooklyn, near Brighton Beach where your parents lived. You had taken four days off work to come dog sit your parents dog while they went on a 3-night spa getaway. You were walking Dolly, your parents' 4 year old French bulldog, through the all familiar streets of where you grew up. There was a farmers' market in town, so you headed there, Dolly leading the way. You picked up vegetables for a soup you were making later, some herbs and a whole bag of kiwis.

Making your way back to your parents' house, your mind drifted to where it always was these days, Eddie. You'd been speaking for a while now, and there was an itch at the back of your mind. You were holding back the urge to google him. It was natural, you though, you could then easily put a face to the voice you had been speaking with. Any normal person would hop straight on the internet when they find out they're talking to a celebrity, right?

You didn't want to be that girl, but you did wonder what kind of relationship you had with him. It's been what, like a month, you went from complete strangers to friends, to him coaxing you to an orgasm over the phone, to... what? You couldn't call him just a friend anymore, it felt more than that. Friends don't have phone sex, either. You had feelings for him, romantic ones. They were simmering, like hot soup under a lid. You didn't want to bring it up first too, asking the age old question - what are we? That would scare him off for sure.

You got back to the house just before it started drizzling rain. You removed your coat, hat and gloves then cleaned Dolly up and let her roam the house. You grabbed your purchases and made your way to the kitchen, where your phone was charging on the island. You saw that you had a message from Robin, multiple messages actually. You grabbed the device and unlocked it, swiping through her messages.

11.52am - Robin ''OMG you have no idea who I met this morning!''

11.52am - Robin ''I would call you but we're so busy today, I'm literally peeing right now so I could text you.''

11.52am - Robin ''EDDIE MUNSON was here, I can't believe it. I texted Cherry too, she's been here since 8am. Said she's gonna be here all day in the off chance he comes back. She wants a pic.''

11.52am - Robin ''Anyway, he's from that band we saw about a month ago. Really sexy up close!!''

You blinked, staring at the screen. You were only focused on two words, a name really. Eddie Munson... From a band. A musician, then. Your heart thumped in your chest. Was it him? You didn't really believe in silly coincidences. Finally breaking, you quickly pulled up the search bar and googled the name. A ton of pictures, videos, news articles popped up. You only intended on looking at pictures, you didn't mean to look at the news articles. But once you started, you fell down the rabbit hole, unable to get out.

Corroded Coffin star Eddie Munson seen leaving restaurant with Victoria's Secret model.

'Eddie Munson snorted coke off my ass' ex-girlfriend Madeline claims!

Corroded Coffin frontman leaving band? Manager denies claim!

You read through multiple articles, all accompanied with pictures of him. A woman next to him in every photo, tall, skinny, perfect skin. You didn't concentrate too much on the women, otherwise you'd only hurt your own feelings. You looked at him, marveling at different angles taken of him on stage, his long wild hair flipping in the air.

''Oh shit,'' you gasped as you remembered a few weeks ago, when he first called you. You had walked by a poster of him without even knowing who it was. But looking at the pictures on your phone, you knew it was your Eddie. You felt it in your bones.

You went to Youtube and searched his name there too. You noticed a late night interview he had done, uploaded just last week. You clicked on it and watched the whole thing. You felt strange watching him like this. He wasn't just some faceless fantasy you had developed feelings for, he was real. He talked animatedly with the host, talking about their tour.

''Yeah, we're super excited. Very grateful to be playing Madison Square Garden next week, two shows. It's wild.''

Madison Square Garden? New York? Next week - this week, then? This was the first time you were hearing about any of this. It was already the middle of the week. You went to Instagram, searched up Corroded Coffins account (surprisingly, you didn't find Eddie's personal account) and clicked on it. There was a new picture uploaded, just an hour ago. Eddie was standing in front of the arena's entrance, his back facing the camera. And there he was, in your city, without telling you.

You took a deep breath. It's fine, it's only the afternoon. He's probably busy. You followed the account and looked through their stories. There was a reposted story of someone else's, it was a picture of a girl holding two tickets. What caught you off guard, however, was the caption of the photo.

''Thanks for the VIP tickets Eddie! Can't wait to see you tonight!!''

Then you noticed the girl's username and it seemed familiar. It clicked to you that it was the same Madeline you read about earlier, his ex then.

Your stomach dropped. He hasn't mentioned anything to you about being in New York, but invites his ex to go see him, probably backstage too. God knows if they were even broken up, you certainly wouldn't know. You felt betrayed, stupid for not being cautious enough. You believed every word he had said, never having a reason to doubt he might be lying about anything. Were you just some distraction for him? Was he just pulling you along because he was bored? Maybe this is why he was hesitant to reveal who he was, maybe he was scared you would find out who he was and catch on to him.

Just as you felt tears of frustration pool in your eyes, he texted you, almost like he could sense something was wrong.

13.01pm - Eddie ''Hey Kiwi girl, how are you? Miss you!''

Frustrated that he could still make your stomach turn upside down, you called Robin instead.

''Hey babe, called at just the right time, I just went on lunch. It's a madhouse today. Did you see what I texted you by the way?'' Robin rambled on the other side.

''Yeah.. I know him.''

''What? No, you don't. You don't listen to that kind of music.''

''Rob, I know him. He's the guy I've been texting,'' you admitted.

''What?!'' she shrieked. ''When? How?''

You sighed, dropping onto the living room couch, bringing your legs underneath you. ''I just found out myself. He told me his name was Eddie and that he was a musician but that's all I knew. I just put the pieces together when you texted.''

''That's insane!'' Robin replied, her words muffled as she was crunching on something. ''Are you going to meet him, then? Are they playing a show?''

''Yeah, tomorrow. He didn't even tell me he was coming, though...''

''Really? That's strange. I thought you said you liked him.''

''Yeah, I do! I don't think he feels the same,'' you swallowed the lump in your throat. ''I found out he sent his ex some tickets though.''

''No fucking way,'' your best friend noted.

''Way.''

''Maybe it's all just a misunderstanding,'' she offered tenderly.

''Pff, or maybe it was too good to be true. Maybe I was an idiot, like always.''

''Hey! You are not an idiot. If everything you said is true then he is a scumbag and I'm on your side, always. I can let Cherry know, too. She'll probably pepper spray him the next time she sees him.''

''I don't condone that, but thanks,'' you chuckled, picking at the woolly fabric of the armrest.

''What if you just asked him about it?''

''I don't know,'' you dragged out the words, letting Dolly hop on the couch and snuggle up to you. ''What makes you think he'd tell the truth?''

''Would he have a reason to lie?'' she asked.

''No? I'm not sure.''

''See - that's why you have to find out! You don't even know what's going on but you're already jumping to conclusions. That's not fair to him either.''

''Why do you always have to make so much sense?'' you sighed, feeling guilty that you had assumed things too quickly. Maybe she was right, Eddie had mentioned things being written about him in the tabloids. Most of the times, the media grasps onto any straw they can, whether it be true or false. You couldn't allow yourself to fall into that trap. ''So I just tell him I figured out who he is?''

''Might as well. How long can you guys keep this anonymity up, anyway.''

''That's true,'' you quipped, deep in thought. ''What did he order today, by the way?''

.•♫•♬•

Eddie was nervous. He sent you that text five hours ago and you had yet to reply. You hadn't even opened it. It's unusual for you to not reply for this long, Eddie was starting to get worried. Had something happened to you? He's been trying to buy plane tickets for Wayne for about an hour now, without luck as he keeps getting distracted. He decided to take a break when he typed in his email address incorrectly, three times. He had a list of things he was supposed to get done today, but so far he had managed to do nothing. He needed to pick out an outfit for tomorrow's show, he had to ask someone to get him a new pair of contacts because he lost his, get tickets for Wayne obviously.

Just as he was about to send you another text, you called him. He picked up instantly.

''Y/N, hey. I was getting worried.''

''Sorry, I was... I was actually ignoring you.''

Confused, Eddie sat up straighter. ''Why? Did I do something wrong, did I say something to upset you?''

''No, it's actually what you didn't do,'' you sing-songed in response. ''Enjoy that eclair today, Eddie?''

Time stilled, the Earth ceased rotating, Eddie stopped breathing. ''H-how do you know about that?''

''My best friend Robin told me,'' you said matter-of-factly. Eddie almost dropped his phone. This wasn't happening. Robin? Rob!? He couldn't believe he didn't put two and two together this morning, even as it was staring at him right in the face. He was there, where you worked. He talked to your best friend. Eddie felt like he was in that movie The Lakehouse, where the two characters were at the same place, but at a different time.

''You didn't tell me you were playing at the Garden tomorrow,'' you teased him but he could also hear the note of sadness.

''I'm sorry,'' he blurted out, ''I meant to tell you, I swear! It's just... You're so good and I didn't think you would be interested in me, apart from this,'' he gestured to the phone as if somehow you could see it, but you still seemed to catch on.

''Oh, Eddie. That's not true. Look, I can't lie to you. I did google you after Robin called me and said that the famous Eddie Munson came by.''

Not gonna lie, his full name sounded heavenly coming from you. He was relieved, mostly, that now you knew everything. He didn't have to hold back anymore.

''And I saw some things, for sure. Did you really snort cocaine off of someone's ass?''

''Oh my fucking God,'' he groaned, rubbing his eyes tiredly. ''That is the worst rumor I've ever heard about myself. I definitely didn't, you can trust me on that.''

''Okay,'' you giggled and Eddie felt lighter already. ''But, um, would you like to meet, then? It's okay if you don't, there's-''

''Yes.''

''Oh, okay, good,'' now you were the one who sounded nervous, breathing uneven into the microphone.

''Can you come to the show tomorrow? I'd see you right fucking now if I could, but today won't work out for me. I can put your name on a list, you just say it at the door and they'll let you in.''

''Yeah, I can do that.''

He smiled, biting his bottom lip. ''Can't wait, sweetheart.''

''If you think you're off the hook that easy, Eddie Munson, think again.''

Wiped that smile right off his face.

''What are you doing right now?'' you asked.

''Uh, nothing, just at my hotel room.''

''Good, can you lay down on the bed for me, pretty boy?''

Shit.

Eddie followed your command and laid down, resting his head against the soft pillows, his legs splayed wide on the bed.

''Now I want you to take out your cock and stroke it 'til it's hard,'' you instructed, voice smooth as honey. ''I saw pictures of you, you're real pretty, Eds.''

Eddie whimpered at the compliment, his cheeks flushing. He switched his phone so he could push his sweatpants down, just enough so he could free his already half hard member. Spitting in his hand, he wrapped his fist around himself, pulling on it slowly, smearing his spit all over the head.

''Such a good boy, I can already hear it. Does that feel good?''

''Y-yeah,'' Eddie's hips bucked as he ran his fist up and down, gripping tightly at the base and then running back up again, brushing his thumb over the slit, pre-cum dripping.

''Keep going, tell me how good it feels.''

''So good,'' his chest heaving, bolts of pleasure shooting up his veins, he continued to pump himself. ''Wish it was your hand instead, o-or your mouth or pussy, fuck.''

''What about my ass, Eddie? Would you fuck my asshole too if I asked?''

''Jesusss...''

''Tell me when you're close,'' you moaned out, just to stir him on.

''I'm about two seconds away from busting.''

''Stop!'' you barked.

''What? What happened?''

''Oh, you don't get to cum. Take that as your punishment,'' your evil laugh ranged through the phone.

''Fuck, you're mean,'' he groaned, fisting the sheets below him to stop himself from going back to his cock. ''I hope this isn't too forward, but I'm going to fuck the shit out of you tomorrow.''

.•♫•♬•

The day is here, finally you would meet Eddie. This whole thing has been fast, you admit, it's only been a month or so. Somehow that didn't scare you, like you thought it might. You were buzzing with excitement, even a little nauseous. You were a little anxious as well, it always made your tummy sensitive, so you had a small breakfast that morning.

Robin had agreed to come watch Dolly while you were away, probably dragging Cherry along, too. The day seemed to drag on and on. Robin promised to be there an hour before you had to leave to hype you up - that's what she said.

You didn't sleep last night, thinking how tonight will go. You weren't so much nervous to meet him, you already know what he looks like, who he is. What tugged at the back of your mind was, what would he think of you. You didn't look anything like the girls he had been pictured with. You didn't think you were ugly either, you were just... you. Would you be enough?

When you decide it was time to get ready, you showered and shaved every inch of your body, Eddie's promise last night very fresh in your mind, still. Since you didn't expect to go to a rock concert tonight, your outfit would have to do with whatever you packed. You were torn between a skirt or pants. Figuring the atmosphere would most likely be.. heavy, you went with the safe option of your black jeans. You matched them with a graphic tee, paired with shiny black Dr. Martens boots. Make up simple, as again, you didn't prepare for this and didn't have time to make a stop at home - mascara, some powder, a nude gloss.

Robin knocked on the front door just as you were screwed the cap back on your lipgloss. You let her in, Cherry following behind just as you thought. ''You look bomb, but just so you know, I would much rather be at the show than babysit some smushed face baby seal.''

As if Cherry had blown a dog whistle, Dolly appeared from the living room and trotted right up to her. ''Oh, hiii.''

You rolled your eyes in amusement. ''Your girlfriend is weird.''

Robin pulled you into a hug. ''She's just upset she can't go to the show. But I told her we're helping with the love story of the century and she caved. Cherry loves love.''

''Don't be dramatic,'' you huffed.

You walked Robin through the basics about Donna, what and how much to feed her, when she wants to go outside. Cherry was meanwhile busy rubbing baby seal's belly.

You slipped on your jacket and said your goodbyes, Robin wishing you good luck and hopped in your car. The drive back only took about 20 minutes, but it was enough time to fill your body with nerves. It took a few minutes to find a parking space, but you were lucky as you found one pretty close to the building. People were already lined up, but it looked like the line was moving at a normal pace, the doors were already open. You followed in line with others, seeing the entrance up ahead, Corroded Coffin's name on the billboard above it in big bold letters. You got to the front considerably quickly, the security guard asking for your ticket.

''Um, I'm supposed to be on the list, I think.'' You told him your name and the guy scanned his tablet, then nodded and let you through after taking a quick glance at your crossbody purse.

The floor was open plan, seating only on the upper floors. You made your way somewhere to the left hand side, as the first floor was already full of people. It was a bit far, but you could still see the stage. The microphones were already lined up, drum set at the back of the stage. It was 5 minutes until the opening act, when you got a text.

21.55pm - Eddie ''Are you here?''

21.56pm - Y/N ''Yes.''

21.56pm - Eddie ''What are you wearing? ;)''

21.56pm - Y/N ''Idiot.''

After a couple minutes, the lights went out and the opening act took to the stage, to a lukewarm reception. The band was alright, you guessed, you had never heard of them obviously. You bobbed your head to some of the songs, even took a few pictures. The set went by quick and now you only had to wait 30 more minutes for the main act, to the one you were here for.

By the time it was time for the main event, more people had filled the arena and now you were pretty squished, girls and guys on every side of you. You squeezed past some people, looking for more room at the back. You found a big enough space and settled there. The lights went out again and this time, the crowd roared. Music started playing and the drummer came out first, followed by three other guys a minute later. There he was, in all of his glory, guitar strapped over his shoulder. He smirked at the crowd and hit the first note on his guitar, followed by the high pitch eruption of women in the audience.

The show started, and though this music was not your prefered genre, you were absolutely mesmerized. Eddie's stage presence was magnetic, he owned the the entire arena. All eyes were on him as he strummed different notes and flipped his hair around, screaming, singing and even moaning into the microphone. People yelled, jumped, pushed around. Not to mention the mosh pit in the middle of the floor.

As Eddie sang the songs, his eyes kept looking around. Was he looking for you? You wanted to scoot closer, but it was impossible. The crowd was wild even at the back, you couldn't even imagine what was happening at the barricade.

They played for more than an hour. As the show came to a close, you clapped and cheered just like everybody else. He was amazing, the band was amazing. They all bowed, the bassist threw his picks at the girls in front of him. Eddie thanked the audience, his voice tired and raspy and so sexy. ''Hey Kiwi girl, come find me.''

You blushed, though nobody knew he was talking about you. You waited a while, watching the crowd slowly pushing out, before you had any room to made to the front. You made it to the barricade and and called another security guard over.

''Hi, I think I'm supposed to go backstage.'' You told him your name and that you had an invite from Eddie himself. He took a sceptic look at you and spoke something into his walkie talkie before ushering you closer and helping you over the railing.

He asked you to follow him and lead the way from the stage through a door, into a long corridor. Your ears were ringing from the loud music and your heart was doing flips. ''It's the last door to the left.''

You thanked the guard and he left. You took a deep breath and walked to the door, raising your hand to know, but the door flew open before you had the chance.

''Oh, sorry. Are you looking for someone?'' a guy, who you recognized as the drummer, asked. His face was all sweaty and he was holding a towel in his hand. There was commotion coming from the room and you looked over his shoulder, your breath hitching as you saw Eddie sitting on a sofa.

But he wasn't alone, far from it. Sitting next to him was the same girl, Madeline, her arms on his shoulders. Kissing him.

.•♫•♬•

tags: @hellfirewhore @ceriseheaven @feralgoblinbabe @ethereal27cereal @mystars123 @munsonsuccubus @alizztor @tlclick73 @nojamsonmytoast @b-irock @harringtonshairychest @hellkaisersangel @mcueveryday @other-world-s @santheweird @nightless @hiscrimsonangel @ali-r3n @latenighttalkingwithgrapejuice @tayhar811 @sarawithasword @eddiesluvt @maddieluvseddie @hellfires-harlot @dollalicia @donnavivienne @ashlynnkennedy @dumbblonde1630 @sanzu-holic @dontslayfay @eddieswife16 @bebe0701 @ganjababie @sidthedollface2 @brittanyyydamnit @lezzy-bennet @bibliophilewednesday @qcueef @rogers-sweatbands @christalcake @episcogoth @beep-beep-sherlock @milkymil-k

#eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #rockstar!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fanfic #modern!eddie munson #modern!eddie #for a good time call #sebuckyverse

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inmyheadimobsessed · 1 year

Text

Ruin the Friendship

pairing: scotty ✘ black!fem!reader

summary: it's raining, the power's out and you're alone with your brother's best friend, the girl you've been pining after for years. there must be a way for the two of you to pass the time, right?

word count: long <3

contains: smut (18+), oral (scotty being a munch), fingering (reader receiving), strap!scotty, desperate!scotty, extremely softtop!scotty, needy!reader, bottom!reader, tribbing, lovesick!reader (like BAD), a little angsty (reader is a dramatic crybaby who's in love, leave her alone), scotty is still her cute little shy self, but because she knows reader, she's a lil more open, drunken confessions, passionate sex, biting, lots of crying, praise, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, fluff at the end (they're just soo in love)

tags: @verachii @zayswriting @quintessencewrites @rxcently @widowmakker @blackgcomica @n7cje @dejaonline @shinsousliya @generallysapphic @mbakuetshurisprincess @pinkwright @saintwrld @axailslink @mocha-aya @uhwhatsay @6-noir @cuddl3s4shur1 @percsane @chidinma @shuriszn @lppriceisright @sweetalittleselfish-honey @abenomeiiii @marsolgy @prettymrswright @shurisjournal @marsolgy @shurismainbxtch @shurisbbymama @bestfriend491 @shuriri4life @bubshri @cafehyunji @vixentheplanet @ventingfanfics @yunhofingers @yamsthoughts @iseebeautyinwords @ihearttish @vampzxi

divider by: @firefly-graphics

note: back writing for the love of my life again, now y'all can stop YELLING at me! this fic kinda beat my ass a lil bit, but we did it joe! but honestly idk how the idea of scotty fucking on her best friend's sister turned into this, it was post to be funny and fluffy and cute (which it still kinda is) but THIS that i'm posting was not in anyway similar to the original plot of the movie. like i was writing and then i got done, looked back at my outline, and was like ooh baby this ain't the script. i was depressed as hell writing this too, so sowwy of it seeped through LOL! i do love this version of scotty though, she's just so ugh. anywho, hope y'all still enjoy. mwah mwahh!!

Falling for Scotty was instinctive, as effortless as an inhale — your feelings for her etched into your bones. And with those etchings traveled a wanting ache that created a home within your marrow, tunneling deep, and hollowing you out until the sensation was all you knew.

You welcomed it though, this incessant throb, for it was the only proof of your capability to love in this capacity: deeply, entirely, unequivocally. It wasn't easy, breathing without knowing her touch, but options outside of this did not exist for you, so you were forced to yearn from a distance, as you did now.

Your hurt lived at its peak at this moment, tugging on your sore heartstrings as you watched her cut your grass with a sigh brined in want. Scotty bathed beneath the drizzle of her sweat before you, dark skin glistening under each droplet while the sun accentuated her shine.

Those fingers, they belonged to a worker. Their tight squeeze on the lawn mower left you breathless as you envisioned their tips pressing deep into your throat, departing your flesh only after the creation of pretty bruises.

When the back of her hand met her damp forehead, you gasped in anticipation, a sharp gust of air nicking your throat on its way down. You waited, gnawing on your lip anxiously, gloved hands clamping down on the soapy plate in your hold — she was going to do it soon.

You were practically drooling, eyes protruding as you scanned her perspiring body hungrily. And then… there it was. Scotty's halt stopped your heart, and the plate you previously held plunged directly into a sudsy bath.

She removed her digits from the lawnmower, and her hand traveled down. Down to the hem of her soaked tank top, and she hoisted it up. Up to her face for assistance in drying her sweat beads. The material rose just enough for you to spot the edge of her equally damp sports bra clinging to her sticky skin, and she blessed your vision with those perfect flexing abs of hers.

A singular line of sweat rolled its way down the center of her toned stomach and your entranced irises stalked it, following the trickle’s descent to the waistband of her shorts until the droplet was absorbed by the material. “Fuck…”

You bit your lip with a smirk, squeezing your thighs together. Her fists clenched the handle again, and she fell back into her practiced pushing, eyebrows knitting against the slight resistance. If the window were open, her gravelly grunts would bless your eardrums with their strain, and your mind would construct the picture of her floating above you, making those same tired sounds as she rocked–

“Why do you just have the tap running?” That stupid voice. Your brother's voice. It snuck up on you, and it restarted your still heart, serving as nothing more than an aggravating prompt as to why Scotty wasn't yours.

You rolled your eyes, tightening your grip on that restraint trying desperately to escape your claws. “Maybe don't worry about what I’m doing.”

“When I pay the water bill, I make it my business to know how it's being used. Or in this case, how it's being wasted.”

Your groan was unavoidable, it always was when your brother chose to invade your bubble. Reluctantly, you peeled longing eyes away from Scotty, returning your focus to the dishes floating in the sink with a grumble. “You're so fucking lame.”

“Yeah, I'm lame.” You tossed a glance back at him, noting the way he buried his huge block head inside the fridge, and you took this as an opportunity to ogle your sweat-drenched love once more. You pushed onto your toes, hopelessly trailing Scotty's strides in the grass, clinging to the grace in which she moved as your stomach welcomed that familiar tightness.

The last dish was on the rack now, and you switched off the streams just as your brother emerged from the fridge with two chilled water bottles. He pushed past you, bumping your shoulder on purpose as he trotted to the back door, and soon the sounds of a growling mower filled the house. “Yo! Scotts, take a break, yeah?”

You watched her in the window again, her eyes finding yours through the glass. A fire flickered alive inside your body when she glanced up at you, and Scotty let a small smile crack across those lips you’d felt only in dreams. Your inhale surfaced low in volume, but its choice to harmonize with your sprinting heart’s prayer for reprieve deafened you still.

She was on the patio now, chatting mindlessly with your brother, and slowly, you allowed the prattle of her distant voice to draw you in, engraved bones piloting each of your strides to the living room as your tired heart complied.

“So, you coming by next Saturday?” You planted yourself by the couch, out of your brother’s view, but squarely in Scotty's. Bare thighs bewitched her, and automatically, those frantic eyes of hers swept the expanse of them, widening the longer she scanned them over in your shorts. Scotty let her inspecting linger, permitting her shameless gaze to climb your uncovered stomach, the poke of your boobs beneath your bralette, and finally, she let her eyes latch onto your expecting brown ones.

You blushed under her heated watch, and she did the same beneath yours. She wrestled with a demanding smirk and lost, but her attempt to conceal it remained adorable. Your Scotty was a story, seared into your skull, recitable on command, and if she knew your skill when reading her, she'd see her endeavor as what it was; one of no use.

Your brother tapped her shoulder, pulling her attention from you to him just after he peered back at you with a head shake. “Scotts, did you hear me?”

“Sorry, what?” She blinked, floundering in the shame of being caught, and you giggled from where you stood. You resided in her head, as she lived in yours.

This notion stirred a strength inside you, a sense of supremacy awakened only when you were reminded you weren't alone in your fancy, and it subsided some of that ache for a brief while.

“I said, are you coming by next Saturday? Mum’s out of town so I'm having people over, real lowkey. You gotta come mate, it's always so hard to get you out of the house.”

Thieving were your brother’s words, robbing you of Scotty's attention and you huffed in annoyance. Basking below her inspection filled your desperate body with a warmth; her stare was the kind to sizzle your skin, and you loathed the absence of the feeling.

Her head craned backward as she pushed the neck of her sweating water bottle to her awaiting lips, throat bobbing with each eager swallow of the cool liquid. You watched small streams spill from her lips, and roll down her neck, tangling with her existing speckles of perspiration. She was messy with each gulp, and a wet mouth suited her. “Uh, I’m not sure.”

Fuck, that voice again, you moaned at its vibration, and the not-so-subtle whimper perked both sets of ears on the patio. Your brother’s scrutiny heated your already burning skin, but you ignored its blaze, just as you disregarded your body’s demand that you run. You couldn't, you needed to witness the way her lips quirked ever so slightly when she heard the sound, your sound.

“Why are we even best friends, Scotts? I always gotta force you to come out.” Your brother whined, making her chuckle. God that laugh of hers; timid; deliberate, and it tugged you forward into its infectious reverb. Scotty owned you in this way, her laugh owned you, her nervous smile as you inched closer. Sore muscles propelled you toward her, and they were met with zero resistance — proximity to Scotty held all the power to dull your ache.

Fingers circled the doorknob as you hooked your chin around the open door, and you smiled up at the shy girl before you. “I’ll be here on Saturday Viv, you'll come to see me, right?”

“Uh…” Rendering her speechless, an action that bustled your pride. Her anxious fidget was one of the many things you loved about her, that, and the way she struggled pitifully when attempting to hide just how flustered your existence made her.

Your brother groaned, “You’ll be in your room. I don't want you anywhere near my friends.”

“Your friends are all a bunch of dickheads, just like you,” You smirked, and Scotty tripped into it against her will, steadying herself bashfully at the last second. “Well, except for you, Viv. You couldn't be a dickhead if you tried.”

“She's not fucking interested. And you look desperate.”

You stepped onto the patio then, smacking his head, and he winced dramatically. A sweet sound, though it wasn't comparable to the one you sought; Scotty’s laugh. When she offered it up it melted your mind; you’d be a puddle soon, legs and body dissolving before those swirling irises you loved dearly. “So glad the asshole gene ended with you.”

Scotty giggled again, waking the butterflies batting violently in your depths. “I’ll see you Saturday, Viv?”

“S-See you S-Saturday.”

•••

The ends of your wild braids veiled your bare chest, fingers dancing slowly down to where you needed them most as you tugged your nipple roughly. When those spit-soaked lips of yours separated, one name existed on your tongue, and it clamored from your pits the second shaking digits connected with your sensitive clit. “Scotty…”

A forever-clogged head generated only conjurings of her, your fantasies being the one place you were allowed to have her, and you never shied from indulging. Slow strokes teased that feeling forward, and your pedicured toes curled the higher her face in your mind's eye made you soar. Her name was enclosed in each exhale, intricately wrapped in your lusty desires with their inevitable unraveling being enough to tip you over.

“Oh, Scotty…” You let the sound of your slickness entrance you, brain traveling to her reaction if she were here to see you, feel you, taste–

A series of knocks on your bedroom door ripped you from deep within your Scotty-riddled thoughts, and you groaned, rolling over in your pillow to muffle an irritated scream. “Fuck off!”

“Scotty’s coming over to fix the drip in the bathroom sink. Let her in, and don't be a fucking weirdo, I'm going out.”

Your brother’s words possessed the strength to spring your body upright in your sheets, and you grinned, welcoming that throb you were on a mission to subdue just seconds ago, that throb that breathed and intensified from the mere mention of her name.

You tugged your T-shirt back on, slid your underwear up, and sighed at the feel of your slick gluing the thin material to your folds.

Rarely did the opportunity of being alone with Scotty arise, she was your brother’s friend, and she ventured around only to hang out with him, emphasizing your position in her life. Scotty liked you, a fact clear as day, but the restraint housed within her body remained one that forever combated your own, and it was for this reason that you forced yourself to become comfortable with the scope of separation between you both. But, she was on her way over, and it’d just be the two of you now.

Possibility floated in the atmosphere as you mulled this thought over, and your excitement constricted your chest, tightening those exhausted little heartstrings of yours.

An unsteady step abetted your climb from your bed and you exhaled once on your feet; your climax evaded your grasp, but the prospect of spending time with your forbidden love held the power to wobble you still.

The shirt draping your frame left nothing up to the imagination, exposing your curves, the nudge of your sore nipples, and your damp panty-clad cunt remained visible as you studied yourself in the mirror. Your attire screamed “She was just in the middle of getting off,” and you contemplated changing into something more… appropriate.

But the resounding clang of the doorbell blared throughout the house, jarring you, and you toppled, your half-naked body tripping over scattered shoes and dirty laundry begging to be washed on the floor. It rang again, and you stumbled back on your feet, flying out your bedroom door and down the steps at the speed of lightning. There was something to be said about the pathetic nature in which you staggered to the front door. You were a fawn, learning to stable oneself for the first time, lacking grace, lacking finesse as you launched yourself forward for the doorknob.

Did you care? Certainly not, not with Scotty awaiting your greeting on the other side of the barrier keeping you two apart.

Breathless as you were, you opened the door just as her finger poked the button again, and the pair of you giggled shyly, noting the other's blush. You could never tire of her laugh, and its coyness. It coaxed her blinding smile into the open, and once it beamed out, clouding it became a difficult task for Scotty.

“H-Hey Viv…” You huffed, scanning her appearance with a gulp.

Her blushing never faltered, mouth gaping before she decided to suck in her bottom lip at the sight of you in just a shirt. She dipped her head, sheepish in her attempt to shelter her nerves, but her sweet stutter betrayed her the moment she opened that pretty mouth, “Um, uh, h-hi. I c-came for the um, the…”

“The sink.” You finished for her, and she nodded with a small chuckle.

“Uh, yeah. The sink.” You stepped aside and Scotty trudged into the house, toolbox locked in those strong fingers as she wiped her work boots on the mat rather awkwardly. She watched you all the while, eyes trained on your thighs as you smirked up at her, absorbing the rays of her immersion. Scotty attempted subtlety when your brother was around, but she took advantage of his absence now as she ogled your tight nipples poking up in your shirt.

You ran your fingers through your braids, shaking them slightly to make your tits jump before her eyes, and when she exhaled wearily, you allowed your throat to vacuum her air, breathing in its warmth with a quiet moan.

And you smiled then, feeling that comfortable throb weaken just from the nearness of your bodies.

Scotty was right there, right in front of you, and it would be nothing to reach out and touch. God, you wanted to reach out and touch, but just as you leaned in a little, she jerked, turning frantically and heading to the stairs. “It shouldn't um, take me too long. It's just a drip r-right?”

“J-Just a drip…” Though, the leaking at your core exceeded that.

You climbed the stairs behind her, pulling on the hem of your top anxiously with each step as you followed her knowing strides to your bathroom. Scotty's shoulders flexed under her black and yellow patterned shirt, and your treacherous mind concocted images of crimson claws dragging along her back, feeling those blades tighten and loosen with steady thrusts, if you were blessed with the opportunity to lay beneath her as she had her way with you, that was.

“Can you um, I have to look under the sink. Just uh, tell me if the drip is still going when I ask, yeah?” She flicked on the light, placing her toolbox down on the mat and you nodded slowly. There laid command in her request — innocent in her mind — but far from in yours.

You hoisted yourself onto the counter, naked thighs spilling out from under your T-shirt. Its lack of length once again became her fixation, and you watched the flash of realization storm Scotty's electric eyes; she would have to kneel before you to get under the sink. You smirked, concluding this at the same time she did, and slowly, she stooped in hesitation, sinking to the floor to open the cabinet. Her eyes refused to leave your seductive ones, and a devious plan slithered its way into your mind like a serpent.

Once Scotty was on her knees, she wavered, chewing her lip nervously, still watching you, and you allowed your parting thighs to rocket her heart.

There was a squish, because you were fucking drenched, and Scotty's eyes followed the sound her ears alerted her of, landing right on your damp core. She whimpered in the back of her throat, permitting the sight to captivate her fully, and she frowned. She found your eyes again, pleading wordlessly for you to shut your legs, to allow her to do what she came to, but you were not in the business of being gracious. You wanted her too much — the beating in your chest and the beating at your core driving your choice.

“J-Just, uh, let me know about the drip.” She pointed weakly to the faucet, capturing one last glance at your red panties before vanishing under the sink.

She fumbled with the valves, “Did it stop?”

“Nope.” Your legs were swinging, blood rushing at the sight of her exposed middle, her stomach contracting as she worked.

“Now? Is it still leaking?” You glanced at the faucet, clapping your hands when you noticed the drip had disappeared, only to realize the one at your center was gaining stream.

You giggled, “Something's leaking.”

Scotty sighed, seemingly frustrated and you pouted, “But is the faucet still leaking? That's what I’m asking.”

“No.”

She muttered something, but it went unheard because her abs were out of hiding fully now, and you were a drooling mess at the image of her splayed on your bathroom floor. “How long have we known each other, Viv?”

Scotty hummed, unmoving under your cabinet. Something told you she remained under there on purpose. “All our lives.”

“And would you believe me if I said I've had a crush on you this entire time?” Your question startled you, and you blinked at your sudden spurt of confidence, gripping the countertop firmly to avoid fainting.

There was a thud, and a small groan, one that shouldn't have excited you because it was obvious the sound derived from pain, but any sort of moan evading Scotty's lips would push thrill through your body. “No.”

She stood, rubbing the side of her forehead with that same groan again, and you tilted your head. “You wouldn't believe that I have a crush on you?”

Her eyes brimmed with a speckle akin to want — hope; Scotty hoped sincerity guided your words. They dazzled, irises swimming in a chocolate sea as you studied her reluctance. Her pretty lips hung downward as you let your full ones fall also, the sight fracturing your heart just a little, her resistance in belief. “You wouldn't believe me, Viv?”

“The drip is on the hot water side. I n-need you to get down so I can take the f-faucet apart.”

Words that broke your heart entirely, because she was shaking, and she refused to answer your question. “I do, have a crush on you, Vivienne.”

A crush. An insignificant word, and a diluted confession, you thought. Describing what you felt for Scotty as a crush seemed so trivial. You loved her, you were in love with her, and you wanted her to love you. But if your admission of a crush unnerved her this much, you were terrified to find out what a declaration of love would do to the poor girl.

“Uh, c-can you let me get to the faucet? Please?”

Earnesty eluded Scotty now, the averting of your spiky stare told you that. She fought it, her desire to slip between your thighs and hold you close, but it would ultimately be a battle lost. “Scotts…”

“Please.”

You whimpered, “Scotty, look at me?”

Brown eyes met your wishing ones and she softened immediately, her sweaty forehead falling to yours as she snaked her arms around your waist. God, you could break. You did break, you broke the moment she did. “I-I… you…”

Her tears were light and steady, and they scorched, flowing and mixing with your own as you offered up a small whine. You cupped her wet face, and Scotty nuzzled her cheek into your delicate palm with a sigh, confirming the thing you always assumed — she was a beauty starved for touch. And now, amending this was to be your job as you gazed into her welling eyes.

It was so easy, to drown in every unspoken emotion filtering out the both of you through your sobs, and if she continued to peer at you through damp lashes, you just might let yourself sink.

Salty tears rushed your tastebuds, forcing you to swallow each drizzle as you searched for the right thing to say to calm your love. “Scotty…”

“Would y-you b-believe m-me if I said I had a c-crush on you, too?” She questioned with a sniffle, heated fingers gripping yours, and reluctantly, you let her peel your hands from her face. Your waist felt bare without her digits pressing into it, and your shattered heart knew not how to take the loss.

You laughed lightly, “Yeah?”

Scotty let the corner of her mouth quirk, and she took in your murky irises. “I shouldn't, but I do.”

“Would you like to kiss me, Scotty?”

She shut her eyes with a desperate groan, squeezing your digits so tight, your fingertips ran cold. “God… very much.”

You caressed her face intently, eyes boring into her untamed ones as you watched her brows knit in anticipation. And then you were pulling her in, feeling her hot mouth moving against your own. Your world stilled, and the remaining shards of your broken heart plummeted, leaving those butterflies of yours as the only things inside of you capable of sustaining life.

Your ache, your beautiful, throbbing, lifelong ache dwindled for a moment as Scotty's mouth meshed with yours. She kissed you fiercely, fingers grazing your throat, breathing existence back into your being, and it was then that you moaned for her.

Scotty lost it, your sound putting her on the prowl. Her incisors punctured your bottom lip and you hissed from the euphoric pain, wrapping your legs around her slim waist, fingers finding their way under her shirt with haste. When you grazed the dips of those abs you gawked on a daily, your moan bloomed louder, and Scotty pulled away.

“God. That s-sound, oh my god, s-so pretty. Please.”

You nodded, “Kiss me again.”

But Scotty shook her head, puzzling you, and when her teary eyes met yours, your ache returned — at full force — crushing every bone in your body. “We can't.”

“W-We just d-did.”

She kissed your hands, making you shudder, and she frowned. “Your brother…”

“Isn't here. It's just us, you and me Scotts. Want you to kiss me again, want you to touch me, please. Please, Scotty.”

Scotty pressed her back into the wall in front of you, eyes glazed over as you watched her breathing pick up. She once again battled with her want for you, and the only thing barring her triumph, was your stupid fucking brother.

You rolled your eyes, refusing to let it end like this, not after finally tasting her tongue outside of your imagination. “Scotty. Touch me.”

“Fuck… you can't say things like that,” She winced, as if your words inflicted pain. “Makes my mind go places it shouldn't.”

You raised your brow at this, “Where does your mind go when I give you permission to touch me?”

She didn't answer, so you reached out for her, spreading your legs wider the closer she inched, and she stared at your wet panties, pupils dilating as she whimpered. “I c-can't. I'm not supposed t-to. You're off limits t-to me.”

“But you want to, don't you? You wanna feel me, Scotty?”

She nodded, sucking in a sharp breath as she allowed you to press her palm flat against your heat. “Feel me, Scotty.”

You shoved your panties to the side, reveling in the effort it took to unstick the cloth from your pussy, and Scotty gasped.

A singular tear rolled down her cheek when presented with the cunt that wept for her touch, your clit calling her name with each jump. She stared into your wanting eyes, begging for permission and you nodded. Scotty pressed into your clit, whining softly along with your mewls, and you nestled your face into her chest to muffle them, entirely consumed by the ecstasy flooding your senses.

Scotty massaged nurturing circles into your bud, her wounded moans ringing in your ear while she twitched, absorbing the sound of your slick pussy. You hadn't even noticed you were crying again until you opened your mouth to moan, and warm droplets filled it.

You leaked onto the bathroom counter, wetness spilling with each of her delicate rubs. It wasn't long before you were quaking, thighs levitating in sync with your racing heart as you pushed your back into the mirror.

“You're s-so, fuck, I-I wanna… Can I put my f-fingers inside you? Wanna feel all of you.” You nodded, and Scotty wasted no time slipping two coated digits into your hole. God, it was way more than you saw yourself able to handle. The pleasure, the emotions; your body couldn't bear it.

Hard nipples rubbed against your shirt as you moaned for her, and she nodded toward the protrusion. “Touch them for me?”

This Scotty, and her commanding bass were a foreign pair to you. Though phrased as a question, her request was the furthest thing from, and you complied immediately, pulling your perky nipples above the material as your eyes fanned down to where Scotty worked you. “Fuck, Scotty, just like that…”

“Lift your shirt, I-I wanna s-see them please.”

The hem of your shirt came up as you hummed faintly, and your boobs were out, fingers latching on to tweak your tender nubs once more. The sound of her fucking your pussy with her fingers had you reeling, every tendon in your body tightening as they prepared to snap. You bucked into each of her skilled thrusts, whimper after whimper dropping from your parted lips as she stretched your tight cunt.

Scotty was inside of you, you were riding her worker digits as she grunted from how your walls drank her in. Fuck, was this real life? “You're so wet, god I can't take this.”

“Only f-for you, please, pleeease!” You craned your neck, connected your mouth with your nipple, swirling your tongue around its firmness, never once breaking eye contact with her and she shivered at your lewd act.

“You drive me crazy, I just, fuck… You're so beautiful.” Scotty confessed, flicking your clit with ferocity, and you cried out.

“I'm, I'm gonna come! Please, faster Scotty, I wanna come for you! Please!” You sprawled for her as you sobbed her name, showing off your flexibility and Scotty cursed under her breath. You were certain her knees would give out soon with their continued buckling as she worked your pussy; she looked closer to collapse than you.

Her pace increased, outstretching her free hand to grip your floating thigh, and she pressed a kiss to your ankle. “Can I touch them?”

You were so out of it, but you nodded, and Scotty’s palm trailed your lurching stomach on its way up to your sensitive tits. She cupped the right one, basking in its warmth as your messy pussy sucked in her knuckles, tips brushing your special spot.

“Fuck! Right there! Oh my god! Right fucking there!” You jerked, fisting her shirt to yank her in for a sloppy kiss as the showers of your climax rained down on you. You were denied the feeling earlier, but you chose to believe this was because fate wanted Scotty to bring about your bliss. It was intense as hell, a willful pour that turned your vision white, and your moan was long and broken, eyes spilling endlessly. Scotty kissed your tears away, pumping you slower now, the ghost of her warm breath doing what it could to soothe you.

“You're so pretty when you come.”

A tired little groan crept out of you; you were attempting to thank her, but those numbing lips of hers were more powerful than you'd realized as she used them to whisper into your charged skin. “Shh. It's okay. You're okay.”

She remained inside of you, absorbing your clench as she whined from the suction, that was until footsteps approached the door. “Scotts, you in there?”

Scotty plucked her fingers from your seeping cunt, leaving you empty as panic seized her. You couldn't move, so you chose to watch her frantic dance through slanted eyes while you heaved, orgasm sitting still on your chest, weighing you down. She was genuinely terrified: scrambling to get her tools, muttering under her breath, and you wanted to calm her, but you couldn't move.

“I'm sorry.” Scotty pecked your forehead, forbidding her lips’ linger, and then she slipped out the door before your brother got a chance to reach for the handle, abandoning your spent figure in a pool of your release on the counter.

•••

Rejection was not fatal, and chanting this motto should drill belief into your brain. Should. But reliance on these words provided no comfort, or aid. Instead, they epitomized the only sentiment your snapping mind seemed able to hold fast to: Scotty did not want you.

She left you behind on the drenched bathroom counter, discarded as a thing she played with before deciding you no longer were of use to her. Admitting her behavior had been cruel was not a thing you saw yourself able to do though, because you knew your Scotty, and within her dwelled not an ounce of cruelty. Inflicting pain, breaking your heart in the way she did that day was not, should not, have been in her nature.

But you experienced it, barely survived her transgression, so what were you supposed to believe? Certainly not the mantra about rejection’s inability to fatally scar, because here you lay, permeating in the blood drawn from the wounds of Scotty's misdeed, slipping out of your mind, and away from yourself with time.

Once, you had a whole heart, it took up space, its beating gave you life, breeding your ability to love, because you loved Scotty. But now, similarly to your excavated bones, there lived a hollowness in your chest. A hollowness operating as a depressing reminder that your motionless heart existed in tatters, occupying the deepest depths of your knotted stomach.

Maybe you were being dramatic, though you’d tried being hopeful, thinking she would come round the next day, desperate to apologize, desperate to hold you and call you hers. But Scotty never showed, and all sense of promise had departed by the end of the week, amidst the lonely nights spent crying yourself to sleep.

Something you were attempting to do now as you tangled your aching body in your many blankets. A satin pillow covered your face, damp with tears as you groaned aloud, irritated by the music and laughter floating up from downstairs.

Your stupid fucking brother and his stupid fucking friends. Being in distress the entire week helped you forget about the party he was throwing tonight, but you couldn't ignore it now, and the sound of their happiness made your eye twitch. How dare that drove of losers enjoy life, when you sat teetering on the brink of death? It wasn't fair, and you wanted to scream it in their faces, but another wave of sobs flooded your cheeks, and you hugged your teddy bear tighter, mind racing to her.

“Scotts! You made it mate! Didn't think you'd be coming round after you've been MIA all week. You alright?”

You were up on your feet at the mention of her presence, drying your tears and booking it down the stairs as you gave in to your body's coercion, not a damn given about your somber appearance.

There was a singular mission: Lay eyes on her. You loitered in the kitchen, aiming to appear inconspicuous as you scanned the group with impatient eyes. After minutes of not spotting her head floating in the sizable crowd, you poured a drink, stuffing the bottle under your hoodie once you were certain there were no witnesses. You shook your head at the sea of people, so much for “real lowkey,” you thought.

“Pretty sure um, your brother wouldn't be too happy if he knew you were stealing his booze.” Fuck… that voice, its tentative quiver, her endearing tone doing everything in its power to bring your skin to life.

You spun, meeting her meek gaze, the liquid sloshing in the red solo cup you strangled long forgotten as you chose to drink her in instead. Of course she looked good, because apparently being unkind to your body was now a thing she practiced. Fuck…“Luckily I don't give a damn about what makes him happy then huh?”

Scotty smiled, providing competition for the sun, and it was then that you felt it, the sharp shards of your broken organ piecing itself back together inside your sternum. Because as much as she hurt you, you loved her still, with all of the splinters composing your barely beating heart.

“You alright?”

You hummed, feigning a small smile of your own, “Yeah.”

She shook her head, unconvinced, and she stepped in closer, reaching out for you as you did for her that day in the bathroom. “Can we um, I want–”

Protectively, your body recoiled against your will, jarring Scotty and jarring yourself with the abrupt movement. This defense was your mind’s doing; your heart was barely whole again, and your brain chose to reject Scotty in hopes of keeping it so. “I–”

“Christ, leave Scotty alone. She's not interested in you like that, learn when to take a hint,” Your brother left no room for a response before he dragged Scotty off. “Sorry about her man, little sisters are the worst.”

Scotty huffed a dry laugh, peering back at you in the kitchen, pleading with her eyes, but it was a stare you shunned, once again feeling that rush of neglect, so you trudged up the stairs, and back to your room to wallow, and get drunk by yourself.

You were lowering the bottle from your lips when showers attacked your windows, and you spared a glance at the rain, chuckling to yourself with a sniffle. The skies were mocking your tears, mocking your sorrow as you sat alone on the floor. The blackness of the starless sky was barely visible, but the swift flare of lightning provided illumination, and you braced yourself then for the impending angry roar that often followed.

You shuddered at the sound of clapping thunder, shutting your eyes as you took another long sip from the bottle of Don Julio you had tucked between your splayed thighs.

“It's just a storm,” You recited the sentence, wanting to convince yourself it couldn't get any worse. “It's just a storm, just a storm.”

As the downpour picked up, your breathing followed suit, the tequila whirling in your veins worsening your anxiety. “It's just a storm. Not like the power–”

Before you could cough up the rest of your sentence, the lights went out, the music stopped, and you could hear the wind’s sinister snicker as you rocked from side to side. “Fucking perfect.” Now, you were awarded the pleasure of crying like a lovesick baby in total darkness.

You sighed, attempting to hone in on the mumbling voices of the assholes downstairs, and their laughs that were not deterred by the pelting showers and deafening thunder. You took another sip, gulping it down and basking in its burn. There was a rap at your door, soft, almost questioning and you turned your head. It wasn't your brother, you could still hear his obnoxious baritone wafting up through the vents from where you sat.

The sound came again, this time followed by that voice you were in love with, shy and sickeningly demure, “Um, it's, it's Scotty.”

You didn't move, unperturbed by your drunken mind’s fondness for games, but when she spoke again, your battered heart led you toward her reprise. “I'm just checking–”

You pulled the door open, and there she stood, purple flannel engulfing her slim arms, frown set, and bright eyes wishing. “I'm just checking on you. I know you don't like thunderstorms.”

Scotty chewed her lip as you blinked before her, averting your teary eyes with a hung head. She wasn't oblivious to your state, anyone with sense could detect you’d been crying, and Scotty knew you well enough to discern that it wasn't solely the quaking skies inciting your waterworks.

“You remember that?” A small, desperate whisper disguised as a question. It held no weight, no power, but you watched as your words made Scotty shake. You’d relayed your fear to her once, when you were seven and she was eight, yet it remained a planted memory for her.

She didn't offer you words, just a nod, and you let your lips curl, dipping your head to hide your blush.

“I don't l-like knowing you're sad,” You stepped aside, making space for her to enter your bedroom and she moved intuitively to the scented candles decorating your dresser, burning them to welcome light into your space. “And I'm sorry. For making you sad.”

You shut the door instinctively, trapping her, with plans of keeping her. “Won't everyone notice you're gone?”

“Told them I was gonna go check the fuse box.” She laughed to herself, placing the last candle down, turning to face you in the darkened room, and you narrowed your eyes curiously. “I don't expect you to forgive me. But–”

“You want a drink?” You already had, forgiven her that was, and there lived no shame in your choice.

Scotty nodded, watching you stoop to the floor and she sat seconds later, mirroring you as you shoved the bottle toward her.

Dim candlelight brought your room to life, their low beacon silhouetting Scotty’s tipsy face as you watched her watch you. You were sitting across from her, chin on your knee with a smile as she permitted her palm to wander your outstretched leg. Her fingers brushed your ankle, making you giggle as she continued the action.

You would be forever indebted to the tequila she downed, because without it, this boldness would not bustle within her.

“Why have you been avoiding me, Viv?” Your eyes turned desperate, their gleam burning her in the dark.

“Haven't been avoiding you.”

You shook your head, “Liar.”

Scotty let her eyelids stutter as she scanned you, reading your written pages, decoding your metaphors with ease and you stiffened beneath her analysis. Scotty was your favorite story; a tale inscribed on your mended heart, but it seemed that she too was a lover of literature, particularly when you were depicted as the protagonist. “You don't like it when you don't have my attention.”

You huffed at her revelation. Suddenly, the booze you downed was no longer happy residing inside the depths of your stomach — it wanted out.

“I-I don't like when you ignore me for five days.” You managed to counter, just as a furious clang dropped from the heavens, making you jump.

Scotty’s lips fell, but her kneading fingers remained on your jeweled ankle, smoothing up and down, her intent set on calming you. “I'm sorry. I–”

“It made me think you weren't into me in that way.”

She blew a laugh, blushing under flickering flames and she craned her head toward the wet window. You wanted to keep her there, flustered as you were. “I-I don't think there's any other way to be into you. You're all I think about.”

“Then why go ghost after what happened between us?” You sucked in your bottom lip as you awaited her response, though the answer was one you knew already.

She massaged your socked foot now, thumb rooting deep with that strength you fantasized about, and fuck if you didn't pass out then. “You know why.”

“He doesn't matter. This is about us.”

Scotty sighed, “It's no secret that I don't have many friends. Your brother is my closest and oldest, his friendship means a lot to me. Can't ruin that.”

You grinned at her with a hum, blinking back the sting in your eyes and the surge of hurt her statement triggered. It wasn't worth the risk to her; you weren't worth the risk, caring for you, indulging in you. Scotty's goal wasn't to hurt, but the way she blurred these lines so easily was daunting. “Being with me could really mess your life up, huh? Well, we can't have that.”

“T-That's n-not how I meant it.”

“How did you mean it?” You snapped back, harsher than intended, making her flinch.

Scotty settled, taking a sip from the bottle before returning all her attention to your foot. Both hands clasped it now, and the pressure they provided sent shock waves through your entire body. “I don't want to mess up my friendship with your brother. But I also know my feelings for you aren't g-going anywhere, and I can't see myself doing anything halfway. Not ever, not with you.”

You gasped when she pushed in hard on your arch, throwing your head back with a low moan. “And especially not when you make sounds like that.”

Alcohol made Scotty brave, you’d discerned, you liked brave.

“W-What are you s-saying Scotty?”

She sighed again, “I'm saying I’m conflicted. I'm saying I like you a lot. I'm saying you make me crazy, but I know your brother and I know he won't approve.”

“You're saying a lot of things.” You both laughed, and she nodded.

“Yeah.”

Heavy rain banged on the windows, pattering on the house like your pattering hearts and you scooted closer to her on the carpet, tugging your foot from her fingers as Scotty's eyes widened. “Can I say my things now?”

There was a gulp, and Scotty nodded. For a moment, all you heard was the drumming in her chest that mimicked the unsettling thunder outside, but this rumble was not one you feared, however. Instead, it existed as the only roar that could settle you.

“I like you too, Scotty,” God, how you loathed diminishing your feelings, but you hoped she sensed the weight in your confession. “I wanna be with you. Breathing hurts when you're not around. If I make you crazy, then god dammit, you make me batshit fucking insane. What I feel for you, Vivienne… these words of mine cannot do that justice.”

“There's no way you're like that because of me.”

You sat in front of her now, and her breathing grew rapid. “Let me show you,” You straddled Scotty's lap, and immediately, her hands found your hips as if they called out to her. “Let me show you what I feel for you, Scotty. I want you to feel it all.”

“I know what you're asking for. But we–”

You shut her up with a kiss, a famished one, and a moan crept out of you and down her throat. Scotty's eager lips danced with yours, and you tasted the tequila on her tongue, the agent of desire driving all of the night's confessions. Scotty pulled away with a growl, panting as she pressed her wet mouth to your throat, teeth sinking into your sweaty skin, and you saw stars. “Fuck, Scotty. Do that again.”

“We shouldn't be doing this. I don't wanna–”

We can't. We shouldn't. Words that held no meaning as you bounced without patience on her lap, the only thing on your mind being that line you were anxious to cross. “Scotty, to hell with the fucking friendship. You want me, fucking take me.” Your hoodie came off, and her eyes found your bare breasts with a sigh, erect nipples entrancing her.

“Why are you doing this to me? Fuck…”

You licked her neck, and her grunt was enough to make you come right there. “Please touch me. Anywhere. N-Need to f-feel you, please Scotty, just…”

“Baby I–” Her hot lips were on your neck again; biting and sucking, leaving you drenched, and you fought the urge to shove her hand down your biker shorts. Scotty called you baby. She whimpered it, and if you weren't so horny you’d be in tears.

“S-Scotty…” Maybe you would cry, your desire to have her ravish you pulling on those dams in your eyes.

She shook her head, firm in her protest and you climbed off her, sitting topless on the carpet as you finally let those tears roll free. “You don't w-want me.”

Silence.

“It's alright. I’ll leave.” You stood, feet on a mission to lead you straight out the door.

But then Scotty stopped you, locking your wrist in her warm palm and you halted in her touch, “T-This is your room. And you don't have a shirt on.”

A wet laugh escaped you. You’d forgotten about your hoodie, you didn't even know where it landed when you tossed it, and your readiness to book it spoke to Scotty's skewing of your mind.

She spun you, cupping your wet face in the darkness and her forehead met yours. “Please don't ever think that I don't want you. I want you so bad it brings me to tears.”

“Show me.” She nodded, lips finding your wet ones again and you felt like you were ascending. The way her mouth moved against yours woke the family of butterflies living in your core, and their fluttering pushed for a continuance.

Scotty's eyes landed on your boobs when she pulled away, and her huff of air came instantly as she nuzzled her face into your chest with a grunt. “Fuck, oh my god. They're right in my face, they're right there. Please, god please can I–”

“Scotty, you can touch me wherever you want.”

There’d still been some hesitation on her end, but sure enough, Scotty lowered her mouth to your naked chest, peppering open-mouth kisses along your blazing skin. Your moans were already on their way out of your mouth, and by the time those caring lips swirled your right nipple, your sobs were carrying.

She suckled your breast hungrily, shoving your back up against the frosty bedroom door with a desperate hum. “God, you're so pretty. So soft, I-I can't–”

Your hard nipple was locked between her teeth, and you whined, running your fingers through her hair as the tingle the action created shot straight to your damp folds. “S-Scotty, baby... N-Need more. M-More.”

“Tell me. I’ll do anything,” She rolled your puffy bud in her anxious tongue, slobbering all over your boobs with her endless sucking, and you writhed, the sensation fogging your brain. “Fuck, baby I’ll do anything you want.”

She found the second one, nipping softly, and the feeling almost sent you to the ground. “Bed, p-please.”

Scotty held your waist, guiding you swiftly to your bed with her lips still latched to your nipples, and you were a moaning mess the entire while, whimpering her name with each step.

She stumbled, ushering you to your mattress and she sat you at the edge. “Baby I want– I-I…”

You clasped her cheeks, gazing into those starry eyes and you smiled. Electricity seemed so insignificant when Scotty's bright irises emitted such power. “Talk to me, Scotty. I know it's a lot, use your words, yeah?”

She nodded, “I just, I’ve never done it before, but fuck, I need to taste you so bad it's killing me.”

“Yes! Yes, anything you need, please!” Your response was rushed, bellowing out of you like a dangerous wind of want.

Her hands were on the waistband of your shorts then, grabbing greedily at the hem in the darkness. Everything about the way she moved showed desperation, and it was the hottest thing you'd been subjected to witnessing. It took Scotty longer than necessary to get your bottoms off, and once they hit your ankles, she whimpered. “N-No panties? God, what are you doing to me?”

She nestled her face into your thigh, taking a moment to admire your shiny dripping folds in the darkness. “You're so wet already.”

“Only for you. Please…” You sprawled wider, showing off your leaking pussy to the salivating girl before you, and she allowed herself to blink for the first time in minutes. It was a brief one; Scotty refused to take her eyes off the cunt she made wet.

“Can I? Please tell me I can put my mouth on you. Need t-to hear you say it.” Hot lips sucking on your inner thighs made you shudder as you searched your brain for those words she sought off your lips. It was hard, talking this much when all you wanted was to feel her tongue steeping in your slick.

Her lips were on your waist, kissing you delicately, sucking your supple skin in attempts to coax consent out your throat, “Baby… say it. Say it, please.”

She begged so sweetly, never had you heard such a simple request coated in that much vulnerability. Your fingers found her hair, and you nodded, dragging her head to your center. “Put your fucking mouth on me, Scotty.”

That initial stroke of her tongue packed a punch that knocked you straight into your purple sheets as you released a guttural cry, feeling her hungry fingers trail your convulsing stomach. “Oh my god!”

Her sucks were masterful, the sensation of Scotty trapping your clit between her tender lips snatching the air from your lungs. You wanted to moan, wanted to cry her name as her sucks built you up, but you couldn't. All sound was trapped in your throat as you let your tears slip silently with Scotty’s tongue inside your depths.

It was all a dream, an overwhelming dream, except it wasn't. This was real life, the lapping at your dripping core was happening in real-time. And she made sure you knew that; there had been no taunting, no edging, Scotty went right for it, slurping your honey-coated folds as though it were her only purpose. “S-Scotty…”

“Is it good? Am I doing good?”

“Fuck s-so damn good. Perfect.” You pushed your hot cunt harder into her face, and Scotty breathed you in deep, neglecting oxygen as she chose to bury herself in your spilling juices. “Just like that! Ooh just like that!”

“Like this?” The languid strokes against your excited bud sent you soaring, small whines tumbling from your lips as you nodded in approval, relaxing into the pressure.

Your tears rolled down your face as you reveled in the way your pussy accepted Scotty's starved mouth, your body finally receiving the attention you knew she deserved.

“You taste so good, can't believe you're this wet for me.”

“Oh, Scotty, baby, every drop is for you. Only you make me this wet! Only you!” You were gonna come soon, that dangerous tongue of hers luring your climax from her hiding place deep within you. She crept up slowly; shy and unsure, but the second eager fingers slipped into your pulsing hole, she exposed herself, and the spasming force of pleasure she harbored.

“Fuck! Oh! Oh! Scotty, I'm coming please, don't stop! Please please please, baby, don't stop!” You squirmed as your orgasm hit, flailing desperately as you screamed Scotty's name over, and over, and over. Her free hand found your wet nipple, squeezing, tugging as she continued to lick, and suck you through the pleasure rush, never once taking her eyes off your body's reaction to her touch. “God, baby, wait, wait, I-I can't!”

She shook her head as she allowed her tongue to replace her fingers inside you, “Not done.” Her mission being to drink in every drop, every trickle of your cum, the sap from the fruit she was forbidden to have. Scotty knew it would be too much for you, but stopping herself wasn't an option, so you would just have to take it.

Your pleading clit palpated against her taste buds, shivering the longer she licked, but you would rather be rendered unconscious before you denied Scotty access to your wetness.

“M’gonna make you come again.” Her tongue swirled your entrance, pushing in and out, in and out as she swallowed everything your pussy expelled, your fractured whines only egging her on.

You nodded, eyes spinning, as you began to let yourself plummet, tangling in your sheets from the overstimulation. “Make me come again b-baby! I only w-wanna come for you, Scotty!”

“Are you mine?” Scotty's hand left your nipple, fingertips grazing your quivering abdomen on their way down to spread your pussy lips as she devoured you.

Your hips jerked. She was so desperate, her words pulling on that second release, and you braced your shaking body for impact. “Yes, I'm all yours Scotty.” You’d always been hers.

One last thrust of her tongue broke that dam holding back your raining orgasm, and you squirted in her face, groaning long and loud as your toes curled and your heels dug into her shoulder blades.

“You sound so p-pretty. So gorgeous.”

Your chest heaved, and your vision was damn near nonexistent, small flames doing what they could to anchor you. But you saw her, you saw Scotty: her pretty smile as she emerged from your deepness, the way both loads of your cum decorated her lips, and the way she licked them clean before climbing up the bed to hover above you.

“Are you okay? You aren't talking to me.” You wanted to, but the mist in your mind eliminated every word you knew. Every word except those three. They existed on your tongue, brash in their fight to escape, but you refused to be bested, even in this fragile state. “Baby? Where are you, talk to me, please. Need to know you're alright.”

“Mmm.” It was small, barely audible, and it did not suffice for Scotty.

She cupped your face, loving as ever, and those deep, lust-filled eyes bore into your drooping ones, “Hey.”

“H-Hi.” You gave her a weak smile, still floating, barely conscious and she kissed you softly.

Scotty swooped your braids out of your face when she pulled back, marveling at your blown irises under the moonlight seeping through your cracked curtains. You’d forgotten about the rain, but the scattered showers hadn't forgotten you. They demanded you shut your eyes and drift, and they somehow managed to get Scotty onboard. “I think you're done for the night, yeah?”

This rattled your heart, the idea that she would stop touching you and you shot up breathlessly with a stern head shake. “No! No, I n-need to f-feel you, wanna m-make you come t-too.”

Her blush was instant, “I don't wanna make this about me, this is about you, I just want to take care of you.”

“It’s about us, Scotty,” You pulled her in for a deep kiss, tugging at her flannel. “T-Take this o-off.”

A smile covered her lips and she pushed off you to strip. You were propped up on your elbows as you watched her, a smirk hanging on your mouth as your butterflies attacked your insides. Scotty reached for her briefs, but you stopped her, “Wait! Let me just… take you in for a minute? Just wanna s-see you.”

You’d waited your entire life to have a naked Vivienne Scott all to yourself, and you'd be damned if you wasted even a second of this glorious moment.

Scotty chuckled nervously, standing before you in her sports bra and boxers, wrestling with the desire to hug her middle and you frowned. “Scotty, do you know how fucking gorgeous you are? God, it's overwhelming.”

“Thank y-you.” She slipped her underwear down and you moaned at the sight of her pretty pussy. Dripping and glimmering, just begging to be consumed, and you licked your lips at the thought of being buried between those thighs of hers as you took her to heaven with your tongue.

“Come here.” You beckoned her forth with a lone digit, and she pulled her bra off before allowing your call to draw her in. She climbed you, settling her waist between your open legs as she peered down at your mess, then back to your eyes. “See what you do to me, Viv? Only you can m-make me come that hard.”

Your confession made her blush, and she buried her head in the crook of your neck shyly, “You can't say that, god I don't know how to take stuff like that.”

The waves from her giggle as she pressed her lips to your neck tickled you, and it made you grin. “You're so cute, but it's true.”

“Can I kiss you?” The question was her way of shifting the subject, and you laughed at her bashfulness before agreeing, pulling her lips to yours eagerly. “You feel so good under me.”

“I wanna feel you against me, Scotty.”

•••

Your right leg hung over Scotty's left, hips rolling skillfully into hers as you allowed her soft clit to knock tenderly against your own. She brushed your stomach as you rode her pussy in the dark, eyes glued to the meshing happening at your equally slippery cores. “Oh, Scotty, feels so good, fuck! God!”

A blissed-out Scotty lived only in your dreams, sweating and panting from the pleasure you caused her, moaning your name as you humped her cunt with yours until she was spilling all over you. Never had you thought a reality such as this could exist, and the sensation of finally living it had you bawling above her as she groped your bouncing boobs. “So good baby, I can't–”

She too was crying below you, overwhelmed by the pleasure created when your clits kissed. “Come for me, Scotty. Oh my god, come all over me, wanna feel all of it.”

“You're so stunning, so beautiful. My beautiful girl.” You’d been keeping count of the many times she'd called you hers all night, and the sound of those words falling from her lips coupled with your tired bud pressing into hers numbed your mind.

You gripped the back of her thigh, feeling its warmth, its dampness as you slipped your pussy against her swelling folds, ears welcoming the slick sounds of your melding cores. Each squish, each splash, pulled on Scotty's release, and it delighted you, the idea that she was in this state because of you. Scotty was going to come because of you. “Your pussy is so pretty Scotty, the prettiest. Can't believe I'm about to make her come. Please come for me!”

“Yes baby, I'm close, you're gonna make me come!” Her protruding clit knocked into your erect one and you screeched, the pads of your fingers leaving impressions on her soft skin. You felt your cum trickle from inside you, seeping onto Scotty's sex, nice and warm as it lubricated your desperate jolts. Your pussy was made to mold with hers, your releases serving as the nectar of your love, fusing you to her, thick and sticky and everlasting.

As the storm outside your windows intensified, so did the passion blooming in your bedroom; the spluttering rain was no match for the wet sounds created by the loving collision of your dripping cunts.

She was breathless, eyes rolling as she gnawed on her dry lips and you smiled, noticing a bead of sweat running down her erratic chest.

You leaned forward, grinding never faltering, and you licked it, absorbing her perspiration with your thirsty tongue. Scotty’s body convulsed at the feeling of your tastebuds grazing her abs, and you trailed a long line of spit up her middle, to the space between her boobs before pulling the left one into your mouth. “Oh yes… so good, feels amazing, keep doing that.”

“Come on my pussy Scotty, don't hold anything back. You deserve it, baby, please.” You mumbled with her hard bud trapped between your teeth.

“I'm, I’m, fuck baby w-wait– I'm coming all over you! I-I…” And her hips rolled faster, her breathing grew harsher and Scotty arched off the bed, moaning a long gurgle of your name, and it was this that exorcized the spirit of your orgasm from your own trembling being, hips sticking and stuttering as you felt the warmth of Scotty's cum pouring out of her and onto you.

She jerked underneath you, involuntarily striking your exhausted clit and the pair of you hissed from the hurt. You wanted to stay that way, keep her there, gasping for air as her head swam in her rapid release, eyes dazed and dark with her breathing inevitably mirroring your quiet huffs. Your cunts and thighs were a mess, cum coating your bodies as it drizzled down your interlock limbs. After a while it became indiscernible, whose juices belonged to who, but you didn't care, because you liked it that way, you loved it that way.

Scotty was an extension of you, your pleasure an extension of her own.

“That was amazing, baby, I-I, Th-thank you. I…”

You kissed her forehead, pulling her in as she caught her breath, and you smiled into her damp eyes. “Scotty, I need you to f-fuck me.”

“I d-don't,” You felt her tense, and her panic set in. “I’ve n-never–”

You pecked her, nibbling her bottom lip before pulling away, “S’okay. I’ll show you how I like it, just please, I need it. I need you.”

“I’ll do whatever you want.”

•••

“It's okay baby.” You were holding Scotty's face as she hovered above you, your trembling thighs widening to grant her entrance. As dark as it was, your slickness beamed brightly in the lack of light, shining only for her.

You pulled her in, ignoring her spilling tears as you planted a kiss on those delicate lips of hers. “I trust you, and I know you won't hurt me.”

Scotty nodded, gripping the head of the strap in her shaking fist as she rubbed it up against your achy clit, pulling on a hiss that prickled your eyes. “Scotty, I–”

The sensation was a lot; too much, and the building friction of the sensual assault on your bud had you weeping once more. “I know baby, I know. I just… Please let me rub it here for a little while,” Scotty used her hips now, avoiding your awaiting hole as she pushed the slicked toy through your tired folds, your clit throbbing beneath each glide. “You're so wet, I just wanna hear it, okay? Just wanna rub it against you.”

You could come from this: the pain, the pleasure, every emotion Scotty unlocked inside of you. But you were fighting it, battling that creeping crack deep down, because you wanted your last orgasm to consume you with the love of your life submerged in your canal.

She kissed you, guzzling your warm tears sitting on your puffy lips, “Please tell me you're wet for me. Tell me I can put it in, please?”

“S-So wet for you Scotty, please put it in, I need you, baby, need you so bad it fucking hurts.”

She wasted no time sinking into your searing heat after that, making you sob upon delivery, and you pulled her closer. Your nipples grazed hers with each of her ruts as your sopping cunt sucked her in, and she moaned in unison with you at the sudden contact. Her open mouth was on your wet cheek, pecking you as she filled you, stuffing your hollowed bones with a syrupy salve contrived of pure ecstasy. Her long, laggard strokes did away with that gorgeous ache you'd grown to love.

You just felt her — Scotty’s essence existed everywhere.

She was deep, bottoming out with the sexiest grunt you'd ever heard. The feeling of being stretched out around her as she worked your hole warped your mind, and you lost your grip on reality the higher she took you, something she sensed as she studied your contorting features. “Baby, b-baby, stay with m-me, eyes on me, okay?”

“I know. I'm g-good, keep doing it like that. Fuck me d-deeper. Need to feel all of you.”

Scotty swatted your watering orbs, rocking into your g-spot with all the care in the world, eyes swallowed black like the night sky as she spread your worn-out cunt with precision. “You're so precious, I-I don't want to ruin you.”

“Ruin me Scotty. Fucking ruin me.” Wet eyes clouded your vision, blurring the distant flicker of your candle’s waning flames as the sound of Scotty fucking you filled the room. Though gentle, her drives held power, sending tsunami-level waves of exhilaration through your cells. You could feel your pussy blooming wider as she drilled you into your creaking bed, and you inhaled the prominent aroma of Mulberry and Vanilla dancing in your room, allowing it to lull you.

Staccato thrusts tore you apart with each loving jolt, electrifying you as you wailed in her arms. Scotty was breaking you just so she could mend you. “You're doing amazing, s-so perfect. Don't cry baby, I'm taking care of you. Does that feel good?”

"G-Good."

She nestled into your bruised neck, inhaling you deep with grunts that made you quake. “Thank you for letting me take care of you, s’all I’ve ever w-wanted, baby.”

“I-I…” Your throat burned from all the crying, and you gripped tightly to her rolling shoulders, pulling her impossibly closer to your barren skin. “I love you, Scotty.”

Three little words. You’d been battling them all night, warring with them all your life, and tonight they emerged victorious. Their might surpassed your own in this state, frail and fucked out, floating aimlessly on your many billows of bliss. So you spit them out, and without hesitation, Scotty drank them, allowing her slow thrusts to gain speed as though your declaration were fueling her.

“I love you too. I love y-you s’much. You mean everything to me, you're m-mine.”

“I’m y-yours, Scotty. Only yours.” She bit your neck, hard, pulling on your hot wells, and you watched them drizzle down her bare back, mirroring the raindrops racing one another down your fogged windows.

“Please come for me. Please, please, need you to come with me inside you baby, you're so beautiful when you come, sound s-so pretty.”

You nodded weakly, already feeling that tensing band deep within. It wrapped around itself, stiffening — toughening into a coil whose demise was inevitable with the way Scotty fucked into the creamy chasm of your cunt. And you felt your walls narrow, clenching the strap and holding it in place the second she pressed the tip into your overstimulated nerves. You came then, eyes rolling like the thunder stifling your scream as your red nails punctured Scotty's flesh.

Her hips stammered when she knocked them into yours, and she used your throat as a silencer, grunting lowly into your sticky skin, weeping as you were from her own approaching climax. “I'm, I'm, b-baby I’m coming. Please, let m-me, I wan-wanna, Can I…”

You huffed, exhaustion treading through your body as you pursed your lips to kiss her head, “Let it out, Scotty. Give it to me, yeah? I love you so much, you make me feel so fucking good baby.”

Your name leapt from her stomach with one last push, and she whimpered softly into your ear, panting like a dog. “I love y-you.”

You were barely awake when Scotty eased her way out of your used walls, and you squirmed, feeling your hole clench around the absence of her stretch. You cried still, body vanquished by the thrill of the entire ordeal. Her lips pillowed your wet face tenderly before she rolled beside you, the pair of you exhaling on the same breath as the rain comforted your weariness.

Scotty said nothing, and her prolonged silence forced your mind to wander. Had she regretted the sex? Had she regretted you? Did she truly love you as you loved her? You wept heavier now, sniffling in the darkness, “I-I guess… I guess y-you should get going now. Don't w-wanna get cau–”

“Did y-you mean it?”

Your turn in the sheets was immediate, words steeped in admiration as you spoke, “I meant all of it, Viv.”

“Me too.”

You exhaled, mustering the courage to request to hear it again. “Can… I wanna hear you say it again. Please? Tell me again.”

Scotty did away with that practiced stutter, welcoming confidence into her confession. “I love you.”

“And I love you. Deeply, entirely, and unequivocally, Vivienne Scott.”

She sighed, and you detected her wavering assurance in the brush of her fingers when she stroked your side, “I-I w-want to be yours.”

You kissed her, sipping the fervor raining from her swollen lips as you permitted her respire to enter your being, melting the ache you once thought to be eternal. “You're mine.”

•••

Getting Scotty up and dressed proved to be exceedingly difficult. Rain still poured, the lights were still out and you were certain her absence would be questioned eventually. So she needed to be gone. “Baby, please, I don't wanna leave you. Just one more kiss? Last one please, please!”

Fuck… She deserved it. You wanted her to have it, but there was no time. You knew your brother well, and you had no plans of dealing with his scolding tonight if caught, not after the experience you and his best friend just shared. You wanted to allow yourself time to float on your high. But Scotty wanted one more kiss, and her lips were morphine. “Okay. One, Scotts, just one.”

“One.”

You pecked her, guiding her to the door and she whined into your throat, forcing you to swallow the heat it pushed out, and the gust shocked every last one of your nerves. You reached for the knob, lips still locked, and you pulled the door open. “You have to go.”

She giggled, stealing another peck before stepping into the hallway, flannel bunched in her fists, belt still unbuckled.

“Bye.” She said it, but her feet had yet to move, and all you could do was smile.

“I love you so much.” You pulled her in again, kissing her deeper, fuller, and it was you who moaned aloud this time as you fumbled with her belt buckle, wanting to clasp it for her, but fighting the urge of falling to your knees.

Her lips hovered over yours, sweeping, ghosting, and heating your feverish skin, “I lov–”

“Scotts, you still up here? I don't think you're gonna get that fuse fixed mate, the whole–” Your brother looked up from his phone, shining his flashlight down the dark hallway, and directly into your faces. “Yo, man what the fuck?!”

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