#i just love writing lando/max/Sebastian dynamic :)

[123pixieaod]

pilot!Max x backpacker!Daniel 👨‍✈️✈️💼

Part 3

Part One; Part Two here!

Hey. It's Max, from the bus. Sorry, I'm going to have to turn my phone off now, but when we land in Qatar I'll turn it back on and we can arrange somewhere to meet

He stares at the message, and then feels mortified. It's not a business meetings he's trying to "arrange" for fuck's sake, it's breakfast with the hottest man he's ever met who he's not completely convinced yet wasn't a figment of his own imagination.

He backspaces.

Hey. It's Max, from the bus. I'll be stuck in meetings until the plane takes off so won't be able to respond to your messages, but once we land in Qatar we can message and find somewhere to meet👍

There. That's good. That's friendly, right? It looks like one of the texts his sister would send to her friends, it looks fine and standard and not awkward or tense. It's fine. It's fine. It's-

He hits send before he can delete it all over again. The ticks turn blue almost instantly.

Hey Maxy! Perfect, sounds like a plan :)) have a good flight and sweet dreams!

He stares at the message, and then brings his left hand up to his mouth and bites down on his thumb knuckle. Teeth in skin, pressing hard. Not enough to draw blood, but just enough to distract from the sensations in his chest.

"Did you hear the goose, Max?"

Max clicks his phone off and slides it into his pocket, as if being caught doing something unlawful.

"What?" He frowns at Lando, dropping his hand from his mouth.

"A goose," Lando repeats. He's meant to be going over the flight data but the ipad has been discarded on his lap. Wordlessly, Sebastian leans over and takes the device, clicking on the screen to reveal rows of neat graphs.

"What goose?" Max asks, annoyance growing. Being around Lando is like becoming pavlov's dog. After a while, there stops being a reason to become annoyed with him - it's just a natural response to his presence, a preparation for the undoubtedly nuisance Lando is preparing to be.

"On the bus," Lando insists. Max looks over at Sebastian, but he's either too busy reading the graph to notice or a fabulously good actor at pretending to be too busy reading graphs.

"A loud goose. Honking away. I think," -

"Oh", Max says flatly, finally figuring it out.

"It was flirting," Lando continues regardless, acting mystified. "And I've never even heard a goose flirting before, but this one was honking laughing away, it was-"

"Right," Max says.

"And unluckily, " Lando continues, "I couldn't hear any of the details, but then -,"

"Can we finish this?"

"I realise the goose must've been successful, because," with reflexes that Max always forgets is hidden under Lando's relaxed and easy going persona, small, tanned figures suddenly shoot out, wrapping around Max's wrist with an iron grip.

"For the record, my laugh is not the same as a honking goose," Max complains, trying to tug free. Lando ignores him, twisting his fingers so Max's hand goes palm down.

"The goose was successful!" He crows, using his free hand to gesture at the now faded numbers scrawled on Max's skin. Max slaps his hand away.

"You're a child," he says with no heat. He looks at Sebastian for help, but he's still gazing down at the tablet, ostensibly too engrossed in the data to notice their bickering. His lips are curving into a private smile, though.

"You're both children," Max corrects himself.

"Apparently so! I didn't even consider getting the number of my seat mate!"

"That's because your seat mate is married," Max tells him flatly.

"Hey, that's never gotten in the way of a torrid love affair. Right, Sebastian?"

"Exactly," Sebastian agrees, flicking to the next page of graphs.

"He's also your boss. Goes against the rules of conduct at F1 Wings I'm afraid."

"That is a good point," Sebastian says. Lando just waves his hand dismissively.

"Enough about my lost chance with one ravegously attractive Captain Vettel, let's-"

"You flatter me Lando."

"Not a word of a lie."

Max rolls his eyes. "You know, obsequioussness won't get you that promotion."

"Obsequiou-what?" Lando repeats dubiously, as if Max has just spoken Dutch.

"It means servility," Sebastian explains.

"Servility? Like to be polite?"

"That's civility. Servility is to be overly attentive and ingratitating."

"Ingrat-"

"It means to be a bootlicker," Max informs him, deciding to put them all out of their misery.

"Right, first of all, by simply proclaiming the truth of our captain's fabulously good looks does not make me bootlicker, fuck you," Lando says lightly, ticking one finger down.

"Language," Sebastian says, flicking to the final sheet of graphs.

"And secondly, how come I'm the native speaker and you two are foreigners and know words like that?"

"Maybe your private school wasn't all it was cracked up to be," Max says, unable to resist the easy dig. Lando scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"Right, let's move away from civility and -"

"Servility."

"Servility and bootlicking and let's get back to the pressing matter at hand."

"That we're piloting an eight-hour journey and need to start doing some security checks?" Max asks, and Lando shoots him a look.

"No. The fact that you got the number of someone in the bus! I've never known you to even talk to someone outside of the work setting, let alone flirt and get numbers scribbled on the back of your hand."

"Gee. Thanks," Max deadpans before turning to Sebastian. "Isn't part of your job as captain to get us to stop talking and start doing checks?"

He glances up from the ipad, blue eyes sharp and bright. "Yes," he says after a beat. "But in my books Lando is right, this is a very important topic to discuss."

"My love life is not an important -"

"The discovery that you actually have one is -"

"Alright," Max says loudly. "As fun as this has been, I'm actually going to be a responsible professional pilot and -"

"We still have an hour and a half to complete checks which will at most take an hour," Lando says dismissively. "Come on, we need details!"

"Of what?" Max asks bluntly.

"Her name! How old is she, what's she doing, is she hot? How does she like her eggs in the morning," he adds with a smirk.

Max suddenly envisions it. None of your business, none of your business, yes, he's very attractive, and no, don't know.

That would be it. Just a simple change of pronouns, and it would all be done. Lando's eyes would widen, and Sebastian would continue to look at the graphs, poker face hiding his own shock, but it would be done. He? Lando would say, questioning, and Max would nod and change the subject, and that would be it. Finally. And it would only be his two coworkers, but it would be something. It would mean that his truth exists beyond this confines of his mind, that others knew it too. He. Not she, but he.

"Yes she's attractive", Max snaps, brusque and harsh and cold.

"Geeze, I thought you'd be pleased about it. You sound pissed off she isn't some ogre," Lando says. Max looks away. He brings his hand to his mouth, biting down on his thumb knuckle again. The pain of teeth into skin is a welcome destraction, taking away from the surge of self-loathing rising inside.

"What-"

"Alright," Sebastian says firmly. "That's enough chit chat, time to start earning our paychecks. Lando, read the graphs. There's nothing unusual there, but -"

"Why do I have to read them if you've already gone over them and know there's nothing unusual?" Lando complains, but after one sharp look from Sebastian, wordlessly accepts the iPad.

"Max-"

"I'll help you with the configuring the altimeter," he mutters, well used to Sebastian's routine. He drops his hand, looking down at the pale indentations carved around the joint. He presses it into his crisp pilot uniform, hiding it as he slides past Lando to sit beside Sebastian.

-

Hey, breakfast in Qatar can't come soon enough

He texts it while waiting for the airhosts and hostesses to finish welcoming the passengers abroad. He's technically not supposed to have it on at this stage, but Landos blatantly scrolling through a video game subreddit on his latest apple device while Sebastian is taking the opportunity to read another few pages of the Anna Karenina copy he's been working on since they last flew to Moscow.

Daniel opens the message immediate.

Why lol, hungry already?

No, not hungry.

Is all Max texts. It takes longer for Daniel to respond, and Max watches the three bubbles bounce as he types.

I'm looking forward to seeing you again too :)

Part 4 here!

[amirasainz]

can you do more of baby!sainz crushing on lando and lando really likes it and flirt with her any time ++ carlos’s reaction

Of coure I can. This is a Part 2 story, so I would recommend reading the first part. My stories are usually seperate stories, however it was quiet fitting in this case. Btw, Carlos ec gf is mentioned, Isa I love writing requests for you guys and hope you enjoy reading my work. Let me know if you have any whishes! -XoXo

Three times when....Part 2

4. The Quadrant video

Ah, the delicate dance of family dynamics and romantic getaways—the kind that unfolds against the backdrop of sun-kissed beaches and whispered secrets. Carlos Sainz, the Ferrari sensation, had planned a romantic vacation with his girlfriend, seeking moments of stolen kisses and moonlit walks. And what better place than Bali to weave their love story?

But life, ever the mischievous storyteller, had other plans. A new Quadrant video emerged, casting its spotlight on the youngest Sainz sister. There stood Amira, flanked by Lando’s friends, Max and Keegan, her eyes fixed on Lando as he explained the rules of their karting challenge. Karting—a miniature ballet of speed and precision—would be their canvas.

Lando, the showman, draped his arm over Amira’s shoulder. His friend Keegan would take the wheel, aiming to beat Lando’s time. But first, Lando had to set the benchmark. As he zipped around the track, Amira’s gaze never wavered. Her words flowed like a river of admiration: “He is an amazing driver. It won’t take long before he takes his first win. Look how easy he makes it look.” Her grin was infectious, like a sunbeam breaking through the clouds.

And then, in a hushed whisper, she added, “Como un profesional.” Keegan and Max exchanged puzzled glances, their linguistic compass spinning in confusion. But Amira knew. She’d witnessed her friends’s journey—the sweat, the sacrifice, the hunger for victory. In that quiet moment, she held a secret: Lando Norris, the boy who’d captured her heart, was destined for greatness.

When Lando finally finished his run, he sprinted toward her. “And, what do you think, darling?" he teased. “Maybe I’ll be able to take you on a ride one day.” His flirtatious tone hung in the air, and apparently, it was working—because Amira was giggling.

Throughout the video, Lando would sweetly explain things to her while she had her whole attention on him. At the end, Max had to do the outro, because Lando was sitting in a kart with Amira on his lap. He clearly showed her things on the wheel, so he moved her hair aside and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"What the fuck did I just watch" thought Carlos to himself

5. The Spa crash

Carlos Sainz found himself in the midst of an interview when his eyes caught sight of his friend sliding across the treacherous Spa track. The Belgian circuit had claimed its share of lives over the years, and the rain only intensified its danger.

In that heart-stopping moment, Carlos’s mind painted worst-case scenarios. But then, relief flooded through him as Lando Norris responded to Sebastian Vettel’s thumbs-up signal and was soon escorted back to the safety of the team garages. Carlos wasted no time, ending the interview abruptly to ensure Lando’s well-being.

Yet, what awaited him upon his arrival was unexpected—a scene that tugged at his heartstrings. Lando stood in the rain, his little sister, Amira, by his side. Tears streamed down her face, and Carlos heard Lando’s soothing words: “I’m fine, darling. Nothing happened. It was just a little jump-scare. I promise, I’ll always come back to you.”

But Amira’s worry persisted. “How can you be so sure about that, Lando? What if—” she began, her voice trembling. Lando cut her off, determination in his eyes. “Hey, none of that, okay? It will take a thousand armies to keep me away from you, okay?” He waited for her nod, their bond unbreakable.

Carlos watched the scene unfold, touched by the depth of their friendship. He approached them, pulling them into a group hug, seeking solace in their shared connection. Together, they retreated into the warmth of the Ferrari garage, a sanctuary against the rain-soaked night.

Later, as Carlos settled into bed with his girlfriend, Isa, he recounted the events. “I didn’t know the two of them were such good friends,”he mused. Isa sighed, her voice carrying a hint of amusement. “You truly know nothing, Carlos Sainz.”

6. DJ Lando

Ah, the nightlife—the pulsing heartbeat of music, neon lights, and secrets whispered in the dark. Lando Norris, the McLaren sensation, was no stranger to the DJ booth, spinning beats that made the crowd sway and lose themselves. Clubs welcomed him like an old friend, and this weekend was no exception.

But amidst the thumping bass and swirling lights, something shifted. A new presence graced the scene: Amira, Carlos little sister. Her usual decline to join club outings had become a predictable pattern, making Carlos’s job as the protective older brother straightforward. Yet this time, she stood there, defying expectations.

And what a sight she was—dressed in a short dress, high heels elongating her legs. Lando kept her close, his arm around her waist or fingers tucked under her hairtie. Carlos’s attention zeroed in on them—the way Lando leaned in, whispering things in Amira’s ear. Her cheeks flushed crimson, embarrassment or amusement dancing across her face. What secrets did they share? Carlos couldn’t fathom, and it gnawed at him.

Lando’s proximity to his sister grated on Carlos’s nerves. Why was he so close? What did he want from Amira? The frustration simmered, and Carlos’s annoyance grew. Why hadn’t anyone clued him in? The club’s rhythm pulsed around them, but Carlos’s mind spun with questions. Perhaps it was time to confront Lando, to unravel the mystery that danced between them.

[blueballsracing]

Can u help me understand Lestappen please? I’m trying to get into it because it’s a popular ship and I don’t want to miss out on great fics and stuff.

But I see Tumblr posts of MV and CL that scream “HEART EYES” or “HUSBANDS” and…I don’t see it. I can’t suspend my disbelief. Like I get they’ve been competing for 20 years or whatever but I don’t get anything other than profesh respect. And when we regularly see how they are with other people, like MV with Daniel or Lando, or CL with Carlos, Lestappen looks even worse.

Can you please help me see the Lestappen light?

hi anon! lemme break it down for ya. the reason why lestappen is such a popular ship is bc not only of the mutual respect that they have for each other, but the history they have, and their interactions have been pretty cute and all.

even max and lando don't really interact that much, and lando goes as far as to say that "he's not my bff, don't ever say that again" when asked about him and max's relationship. and max with daniel–well, max has always loved daniel and had a crush on that man since his first days in f1 so... different dynamic for sure. charles with carlos interactions... they are cute and all but i think their racing dynamics are just so awkward? esp i think that the ferrari politics deffo affected their relationship and all. cross-team dynamics between charles and max have a nice dynamic, but i'll break down some of the key events

lestappen lore timeline!

2012 - when the inchident occurs - you just need to watch this video. it's just so funny. no words can explain this 😭

2014 - when max essentially recommends charles to race for his old f3 team, van amersfoort racing, a dutch team. and the team boss had a lot of positive things to say about the two <3

2019 - the singapore flag incident... mr. i know geography and i love flags SOMEHOW doesn't know the difference between the singapore flag and the monaco flag

2019 - when we get to austria 2019. essentially, charles is about to win his FIRST ever f1 gp with 3 laps to go, and max pushes charles off track, overtaking him and eventually winning. charles is FURIOUS on the podium. and then they have to share a plane back home but max is all like "oh yeah we're good! 😊 he's talented and he will have his first win this year for sure! we have at least 15-20 years of racing together still! 😊" and then on the plane charles unfollows max. max does the same 😭

2022 - jumping forward to austria 2022, when charles wins the race! and they have this GAY ASS PODIUM

austria is lestappen holy ground.

2020 - when we get this wonderful clip of sebastian asking whether or not charles thinks max is pretty.

seb: is he pretty? charles: *giggles and then silence* OH WAIT. i thought you said 'is he british?' i was like, that's not physical... *panicked leg shake* i don't know!!! *laughs again*

charles not wanting to answer if max is pretty... we should take that as a yes <3

2021 - the year of their baku love tree <3 according to an old turkish custom, when a couple get married, they plant a tree together, and they water it to symbolize their marriage and their hope for leading a happy and beautiful life!

and then jumping forward to 2023 in baku, they have the SAME IDENTICAL TIME during first runs in q3. only max is first bc he did his lap first.

2022 - cota! before the press conference they talk and max goes "fresh again?" and charles starts GIGGLING. like yeah we know u were drunk celebrating 🙄

2022 - secret santa! when charles has max for secret santa and this guy just. gives him f1 2022. with THREE OF HIS FACES. and has a card and writes "one edition for my BIGGEST FAN." not normal about this at ALL.

2023 - charles admits to drinking red bull after he couldn't say in an interview but then likes a tweet later 😭

2023 - paddelgate. max loses to charles in october

and then they're supposed to play together in december!

but then... Max stays up until 4 am the night before the match (doing a 24 hour charity stream) and sleeps in and misses the entire event. 🙁

ok i could literally go on and on about them but i'm going to end it here with a couple quotes:

"Of course I have a lot of respect for Max. He has done very well and I have a lot of respect for what he has achieved. When we drove in karts, we dreamed of Formula 1 together and here we are now! He has the title I won and I have a lot of respect for that."

"I always thought that, if I'd make it to F1, Charles would also make it."

[theemporium]

4 and can you tell us a bit about the plot/pairings? love ya

4. How many WIPs do you have right now?

well i have seventeen wips that i am like...actively writing? if that makes sense? i am gonna put a wee read more so i don't clog up people's dash

formula one:

daniel x sunshine timeline: this is just a oneshot that explores the journey of their relationship and the most important moments that led to their relationship, including daniel almost retiring and sunshine being the one to help him find his love for racing before they even start dating

max and trouble's five stages: it's a oneshot that is split into the five stages of their relationship developing including their meeting, the pining, the acceptance, the confessing and the falling

lando x angel origin: it's the intro one shot into the angelverse that explores how lando found out about her camgirl job and how it led to them confessing their feelings (set before the angst of her job being revealed to the general public)

carlos x butterfly 5+1: it's a really bittersweet comfort fic on the five times over the relationship where carlos stood up for butterfly and the one time she really realises her own self-worth and stands up for herself

charles x blitz fwb: just a smut oneshot that starts their story with the friends with benefits dynamic because they are stupid and in denial

sugar daddy charles: this is the plot i spoke about ages ago where he needs someone to make his image look good and she needs money to pay for uni so they meet through a website. but of course they fall in love!

oscar x sainz!reader: this follows the story of how carlos' younger sister ends up in an enemies with benefits dynamic with the one driver that irritates her brother to no end. oscar always thinks she's a brat too but they come to realise how wrong they both are about each other

lando x piastri!reader: this is also the lando x black cat fic where he meets oscar's sister at the silverstone gp and becomes obsessed even if she doesn't seem so taken. based off 'english love affair' by 5sos

lestappen soulmate au: this is the fic where lestappen find out they are soulmates when they are young in karting but j*s verstappen and internalised homophobia keeps them apart. but there is a glitch and they have a third soulmate who is the reader, a famous singer they meet during a grand prix. it's how she helps bridge the gap formed between the two boys over the years and is quite max focused, showing his journey to accept the love his dad convinced him he didn't deserve from both his partners

lestappen x vettel!reader: this follows charles and reader dealing with the heartbreak when their partner (pierre) publicly cheats on them. max ends up being the friend that grounds them and slowly they all fall in love, but of course they act stupid about it and sebastian is a very tired father

charles heather fic: this is the fic based off 'heather' by conan gray. it follows charles pining after his teammate who is always falling in love with men who don't deserve her. and he doesn't understand how the whole world loves him except the one girl he actually wants

nhl:

quinn x luke's bff!reader part two: this is a follow up from the original one shot, except it goes into how everyone finds out about the couple. luke is obviously the last one to find out but i think it's pretty fun that trevor ends up accidentally being the first

brat tamer nico: a smut fic that is based around nico closing off everyone so the reader pushing his buttons and being an absolute brat until he finally lets out the frustration he has been feeling over a disappointing season (but it's lowkey turning more sad than hot right now ngl)

nico x spanish love deception au: loosely based around the book but it follows nico being the reader's fake boyfriend/date to her friend's wedding where she knows her cheating ex is going to attend. overall, very cute and fluffy (and unfortunately, i did not finish it in time for valentines)

frat!nicojack: this is the fic where frat president nico definitely plays favourites and has a soft spot for new pledge jack. but it's fine because so does his girlfriend and all it takes is a few too many shots at a frat party celebrating their last win for all the feelings to come out and nico to fuck them both dumb

nico x medic!reader: in which an injury brings nico closer to the team medic who believes she isn't worth loving and is too difficult to love because of her past. instead, he shows her that her parents' mistakes do not reflect her and she is very easy to love if she lets him in

nico x writer!fic: this one is still (mostly) in the planning stages but follows an author who is experiencing a slump in her writing. who would have thought a six foot two swiss man would be the solution to her finding her inspo back? still to be decided whether it's set in jersey or in switzerland like a proper romcom moment

marauders:

hockey!james: just a wee fic of james falling head over heels for lily's roommate at uni. however, his way in ends up being a really odd deal where he helps her in bed after she has troubles finishing and she helps him with a class (but sike, he isn't failing but he needed an excuse to get closer to her without outwardly admitting his feelings and scaring her away)

[f1-disaster-bi]

The Happy Fic Writer Ask Game

5, 8, 11 and 12 please :)

Ahhh thank you for these anon!

5. Have you had a writer you admire comment on your fic? What was that like?

I have! I have had one or two fic authors that I adore and admire comment on some of my works publically and privately and it just is the best. It gave me such a confidence boost. Especially when they ask questions and let me ramble about the world building/process of the fic

8. Talk about any friends/connections you've made as a fic writer

The biggest connection I made was with my amazing girlfriend @lance-strulobitch. We met over discussing my fics, and ended up falling in love. We've been together over a year now ❤️

@f1-birb my partner in crime who is getting the biggest of hugs if we ever meet in person. Our friendship means so much to me. She's been such a sweetheart, and such a good friend, I'd be lost withouth her honestly

@wolfsbanesbite is another friend I adore. They're ideas are amazing, and there's no one better to chat to about Simi, werewolves, wolves or supernatural au's in general. I love our little world building chats

And there's so many more that have reached out privately and only use tumblr for browsin so I won't tag them but they know I love getting their messages

11. Who is your favorite character(s) to write about and why?

I love writing Lando. He's normally the focus of my fics and all my angst. I enjoy bullying him as seen in some of my works (mafia au....party au....).

I also enjoy writing Lance and Daniel, as well as Michael.

Max is another one I enjoy writing (and Im still contemplating writing a Max Party au installenment)

12. What is your favorite theme/subject matter/trope/ship to write about? Why?

Ooooo I don't think I have a favourite theme or thrope. Maybe falling in love? A lot of my fics do revolve around the characters getting together, but mostly I like to write a variety of things

Favourite ship? I adore my favourites such as Strollis (Lance/Lando), Dando (Daniel/Lando) and Sebson (Sebastian/Jenson). Thos two bring me a lot of joy, but I also adore matching Lando with other drivers and figuring out the dynamics they'd have such as Pando (Pierre/Lando), Mindo (Michael/Lando) and other rare pairs like Michael/Seb

[chal-lelerc]

ok so like. here’s my harry potter house thing. i’m ngl i tried to do this but then i deleted it bc it was getting too long and i didn’t have the attention span but. it kept sticking in my brain so i decided to pick it back up and as such, i’ve lost the original post but it was a quarantine activity (sort drivers into houses, assign quidditch positions, explain) posted by @verstappened​. houses done first, then positions, then explanations for both. i tried to make feasible teams, i.e making sure there arent too many of a single position per house, so this really screwed some of the sorting but oh well.

i did the houses first, then positions, then explanations in that order for the most part.

5/13/20: the sorting was mostly done before i heard all the differing opinions (of which there were many!)

5/19/20: alright so this is literally like 2 months old but i’ve just finished it lolol

Lewis Hamilton:

Slytherin: THE GLORY MAN. the aloof kind of superiority, confidence, is top dog, he’s simply the pinnacle of it all. kind of lethal and doesn’t do the whole ‘looking up to others’ things (outwardly, but he seems very soft on the inside tbh). very majestic and is almost a gryffindor, the kind of slytherin that Merlin is. hard-working, got here from incredibly humble beginnings, which kind of stands out from the rest, but he’s clearly now at the top level of society. still very protective of Others. scarily ambitious. Was originally a gryffindor but I wanted the brits to be in different houses for their quidditch positions to work. Could honestly go either way though.

Seeker: more glory. periodt. he stays winning and scoring the most points. clutch-man. Speedy boy, kind of in a different world than everyone else when competing (he’s always at the front lifetimes away from everyone else lmao. playing a diff game.)

Valtteri Bottas:

Hufflepuff: HE SEEMS. LIKE. A. BIG. CHILD. always relegated and brushed off but is literally God-Tier and no one can convince me otherwise. i consider him to be rather reliable (reflecting only the 2019 season at least lmao). a bit of a vindictive streak bc he knows what he’s Capable Of even when others underestimate him. has a very bright smile.

Beater: have u seen him. he’s a big boy even though he’s 5′8 and only an inch taller than lando norris he seems bigger than he is ok

Charles Leclerc:

Slytherin: this bitch. what a snake. hiss hiss.

Chaser: he wants what lewis hamilton has but chose the wrong position. still a star in his own right. pride and joy of his house, will be at the lead of every formation play unless told otherwise by his head of house, to which he will brood and complain ab but comply in the end bc he wants Team Success and loyalty to his Family. scores the most points on the team and people act like he carries even though he literally has a partner(s).

ok but fr my gut said charles is a slytherin (do i really need to explain why? very critical, doesn’t accept inferiority, somehow succeeds. just a feeling his brain seems to fit motorsport politics well), but i was seriously contemplating whether he’d be a gryffindor to max’s slytherin instead. but then i saw someone mention the whole lion schtick and i was like for all of max’s brattiness he is Gryffindor so sharl is snake. sorry don’t make the rules just follow them.

further edit: this was written before he started streaming (this is how old this draft is) and can u believe him he’s the epitome of the “not all slytherins r evil wenches” idea

Sebastian Vettel:

Ravenclaw: idk for all of Seb’s goofiness he just seems cerebral to me. Seems to know mildly irrelevant facts and is really quite smart however is hopeless in the modern age. Kind of that wise old(er he’s not that old) man knowledge. I’d trust him to give me all the life advice I need but also to write a 10 page essay on the nuances of the effect of emotion on verbal language (which we all know he is very experienced with).

Keeper: it’s the protective Dad Power.

Max Verstappen:

Gryffindor: WAS REALLY GONNA PUT HIM IN SLYTHERIN BC HE’S A NASTY LIL SHIT. TOTAL BRAT. GIVES FUCK ALL WHAT OTHERS SAY. BUT HE IS LION AND LION IS HE SO GRYFFINDOR IT IS. also just bc he needs to oppose sharl in every way possible it’s called Poetic Cinema. also his driving style is clearly the bravery and confidence to the point of recklessness that is prevalent among gryffindors.

Chaser: again, he must oppose Charles. so, not a seeker although he’s clearly singularly the most prized competitor. just like Charles, pride and joy of house, their star chaser. the comparisons never end. the competition never ends. the fighting never ends. one of the most interesting and dynamic performers to watch, is predictable in that he’s not predictable except that he will always be aggro to the max. will always be in trouble for getting rough bc that’s Not His Job but that’s just the gryffindor disregard for rules. master point scorer.

Alex Albon:

Gryffindor: was really a toss up btwn this and Hufflepuff but the ultimate deciding factor was the fact that I wanted all the British Boys to be seekers. he really just sticks it out as max’s teammate like a real one (nothing against max, everything against Helmet Merco) for the good of the team, still is sweet with max anyway. fitting that they’re in the same house too.

Seeker: he’s not the small boy that lando and lewis are but he is (thai/)British. very special boy (big ups on the promotion even tho it was Sad Times for Pear) deserves very special job. also he has a hot girlfriend (alex albon who i only know lily he’s boy toy) idk how that’s relevant but it seems fitting.

Carlos Sainz:

Ravenclaw: bc he’s a spaniard but is still better at english than Lando (i think everyone is tbh). Seems to be a quiet type of smart, sensible, but perhaps this is just the consequence of being compared to Lanno at all times LMAO (no hate all love bby Lannd). would be the type of ravenclaw to follow his friends on absolutely idiotic ventures but would step in to prevent near death or likely-legal-problem causing actions (and only then; otherwise it’s every man for themselves and everyone is free to make a fool of themselves and break some laws. carlos may dabble in such practices.)

Chaser: seems to be a go-getter, not going for points doesn’t even cross his mind. will always be the one driving up the pitch, the strategist of sorts bc he seems big(ger) brain (than lando lololol).

Edit: I wrote this part ab him long ago but this entire section of this post is now irrelevant and canceled.

Lando Norris:

Hufflepuff: you all know why. zero explanation needed. like, none.

also has a bit of an aggressive streak which tends to catch ppl off guard. is not afraid to confront u (hello pageNO) and at times defies the hufflepuff stereotype of being perpetually happy go-lucky (he has his bad days!). but when with His True Crew he is absolutely a hufflepuff ball of energy.

Seeker: small and speedy. energetic to the max. small. quirky and different from the rest, so he gets the special job. small. everyone would kill to protect him. small.

Daniel Ricciardo:

Gryffindor: AW I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE THAT I PUT HIM AND MAX TOGETHER. LOOK I EVEN MADE THEM BOTH CHASERS. AH HOW BIGBRAIN MY MIND IS. everything ab dan is gold. golden skin, the colors in redbull and renault, his smile, just the vibes. he’s just got the enthusiasm and charisma and this intensity of a gryffindor. super aggressive, his late breaking (from his rbr at least) is legendary and maddening with how he pulls it off. is almost a hufflepuff but the gut said no.

Chaser: is Max’s teammate. so yeah. was obviously the star until younger max came to the show. a bit lost in limbo bc of it but they still work well together.

literally want to make him a hufflepuff so. bad. but i couldn’t split up maxiel. also his vibe is just different from other ‘puffs like stroll so.

Esteban Ocon:

Slytherin: ask max.

Chaser: being characterized off of their relationship with max seems to be a theme here. will go head to head with max w/ absolutely zero shits given. talented, but the rivalry with max is entirely secondary to charles imho. still yet to show his full potential but is still quietly a thorn in max’s side. many are interested to see what he is able to do in the immediate future.

Pierre Gasly:

Hufflepuff: GUYS HE WANTS TO OWN A PANDA

Chaser: constantly trying to prove himself and score big boy points. had a stint as seeker until lando came along. did not do as well as ppl had hoped, returned to chaser and proceeded to crush it from there. praticed a lot with charles as children (the friendship dynamic w/ their houses was definitely unforseen but is amazing).

Daniil Kvyat:

Hufflepuff: really wanted to make him a slytherin but the quidditch positions didn’t work out. firmly believe this works though. more of the rough and tumble type, definitely the kind that will sock u in the nose if u write off hufflepuffs as a joke. could honestly probably be a gryffindor too with how unapologetically aggressive he can be in the name of His Beliefs. gives me big dumb himbo vibes now that i think ab it tbh which is mostly the justification here. also he has a child omg.

Chaser: but the one that’s always headbutting bludgers out of the air (torpedo bitches). also had a stint as seeker before but it Was Not His Thing. he’d much rather be chasing and throwing things than seeking things. also he’s pierre’s mate :,) would’ve been a beater but romain and valtteri will not be anything else so daniil took the boot whoops.

Sergio Perez:

Slytherin: it’s just the vibe. knows his weaknesses and is able to make up for it with his confidence and talent in his strengths. very ambitious, plays the right cards at the right times to get the right results. something ab him puts me on edge, but like in a good way; i feel like there’s always a trump card up his sleeve, like when he gets to q3 out of fucking nowhere in a racing point.

Keeper: he gives me the same vibes as seb idk what it is. very dependable, backbone of his team.

Lance Stroll:

Hufflepuff: guys have u seen the guy. he’s just here to have a good time. may seem a bit airheaded at times but he means well 99% of the time. untapped potential. seems like a no thoughts head empty canadian hockey boy (and every one of these types is a hufflepuff don’t fight it); may or may not be the only accurate description of him.

Chaser: he’s just trying his best out here. i

KEEPER?: SO I DID A QUICK GOOGLE AND HE USED TO BE A HOCKEY

GOALIE?????

so scratch my initial thoughts (tbh i didn’t really know where to put him and i originally had romain as keeper but that’s an issue to fix later on now) BECAUSE LANCE STROLL IS A keeper GOALIE AND NO ONE CAN REFUTE THIS. ABSOLUTELY NO HUMAN OF THIS EARTH. WHAT GLORIOUS INFORMATION TO STUMBLE ACROSS.

Kimi Raikkonen:

Slytherin: guys i really don’t have an in depth analysis of this but i don’t think iceman needs one.

Beater: see above^. y’all must get the vibe.

tbh could also be a keeper tho similar energies to seb and checo, but honestly his no fucks given attitude is ultimately what swayed me

Antonio Giovinazzi:

Gryffindor: he just has that majestic quality (that could also fit a slytherin but i only see red when i see antonio). look at that lion’s mane. also he’s one of kimi’s to paddock friends? seems fitting that he’s a gryffindor to kimi’s slytherin.

Chaser: plays second fiddle to the duo that is max and daniel, often regulated to vibing on the side. but he’s there and he’s important and he has potential (i’ve been seeing ppl talking ab a ferrari move and i’m positively shaken). [edit: again, this post is old.]

im sorry its glaringly obvious idk much about him asdfjasldkd

Kevin Magnussen:

Slytherin: guys lots of these are just self explanatory sorry if i seem like im taking the cheap way out but it’s fact. brundle and crofty call him a great white shark for crying out loud.

Beater: unapologetically chaotic. lurking around the edges making people feel hunted. spends more time playing baseball in the middle of the matches than quidditch and sometimes it backfires but it’s good fun and it sometimes works.

Romain Grosjean:

Hufflepuff: y’all he’s such dad energy and he likes to cook. gets written off a lot but he actually cares (he’s a part of the grand prix drivers assoc.!). he seems so wholesome and he spends time with his kids and their school work when he can do u feel those water drops yeah those r my tears.

Beater: i really wanted to make him a slytherin beater to make him teammates with k-mag but he’s just. not a slytherin. but i kept the beater part. spends the majority of the hufflepuff v. slytherin matches sending bludgers kevin’s way even when he doesn’t mean to. it’s always reciprocated.

George Russell:

Ravenclaw: I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN THIS KID. is so marvelously well spoken and he just has such a simple yet effective way with words. he knows what’s reasonable to expect but never fails to expect the most that he can given his circumstances. again, mentioned this before but a lot of it is his accent. the glottal stop is a historically stereotypically rural (i.e. “uneducated”) thing but I’m American and I Don’t Listen to the Rules, so the accent just makes him seem so sophisticated to me especially when he’s saying things like “horriiiiiiiific” and presenting his hefty powerpoints.

Seeker: my British Boys Are Seekers headcanon continues. definitely a Golden Boy of the team kind of guy (hello tragic dumpsterfire that is williams :/ ).

Nicholas Latifi:

Hufflepuff: same boat as lance. his twitch streams are so wholesome he’s just chilling man. twitter made me write him off as daft and unnecessary at first but like fuck twitter i’m all here for ninky latvia now.

Chaser: lowkey gives me keeper vibes as well? the sensible, level-headedness. but obvs that’s lance so chaser it is. still the level-headedness that helps him hold down the fort btwn pierre and daniil who can tend to get a bit imaginative, and also the energies of them + lando.

5/19/20: so it’s quite clear to me that i grew tired of brain functions the more time i took on this and the later ones are a bit lacking and for that i’m very sorry. that being said i’m still happy to see this finished bc the idea was VERY exciting for me.