#i just realized did this even answer ur question on how i interpret their relationship WHRJHWRSJDHFKSDF MY READING COMPREHENSION NO NOOOOOO | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jiminrings · 3 years

Note

hey hannah! hope you are doing great darling ( ˘ ³˘) ♡ i may have a request in mind, a university/college au with jock!jk and shy art major!yn or an olympics au? with olympic athlete!jk and olympic athlete!yn (you decide which sports!) thank you so much in advance ♡

never (k)not you

pairing: jungkook x y/n

wordcount: 5k

glimpse: established relationship ft. jock!jk and shy art major!y/n, y/n gets an unexpected pep talk and jungkook doubts himself, and either so much tears or so much dUST according to kook

notes: baby ok FIRST OF ALL, i’m so sorry i only got to write this now :(( it’s been three months since you sent in this request bUT well it’s here now :D thank you so much for requesting and waiting!! i really hope ur still here or else i-i... will lose it

if you squint, best friend!tae is actually rich kid tae both from the art major drabble and insufferable!!

lunch with taehyung either makes the both of you the LOUDEST motherfuckers in the planet or it’s just comfortable silence

comfortable silence’s more common whenever the two of you are in public because to put it simply

he’s cold and you’re shy!! makes sense

but god just mention his girlfriend’s name oNCE and he’ll talk your ear off and you get genuinely excited when he is

he just needs to mention gouache for less than a second and you will genuinely freak

then suddenly the both of you are the chattiest beings ever and absolutely no one will yield until they get the final say

but this

this just feels weird...

because it’s lunch and you’re not talkative and the silence is most definitely not comfortable

you just know tae has something up his sleeve and will probably catch you off-

“are you and jungkook a thing?”

...

......

it’s never actually registered in your head that you and jungkook are a THING but absolutely no one knows

literally no one

not even the dust living underneath your bedframe!! or if guardian angels existed, then they’d probably be clueless as fuck

lol wait what was that cold gust of wind on ur arms

jungkook is the dreamiest man alive and he’s been your boyfriend for what?? two years now??

and the two of you, and more of him actually, insisted to keep it private

your relationship is none of anyone’s business and it uh.,. it literally seems to be that way because sometimes even yOU forget that you’re in a relationship

jungkook avoids you like the plague and you keep to yourself like you do with all your gouache

this dynamic of no one knowing has been so instilled in you that tae’s innocent (?) question is enough to make you spiral little by little

taehyung was just harboring an idea ok

because like two days ago when you went out with him and his girlfriend for ice cream, jungkook was there too by himself

and that just seems like pure coincidence

but then they dOn’t seem like coincidences anymore when he realizes on the same day how many classes he was in where you were in

and you don’t even have the same major!!!

or when he’s walking you home because your apartment is literally on the right side of his girlfriend’s (changbin’s on the left) and he’s taking every possibility he gets

but it just so happens that uh... jungkook’s always there from a distance? like when the two of you are walking and that guy just hAD to be there at the back??

goddamn it tae should’ve gotten his parents’ offer for personal security while he’s studying in campus :((

“woah woah wOAH what’s the matter?” you panic when he shoves you inside your apartment the moment you manage to open it

“this fucking jungkook guy is either stalking you or me and it’s starting to get on my nerves!!”

“... taehyung-“

and then he realized that oh... ok... i see

what if this guy has a crush on you??

but it didn’t make sense because why would this soccer guy (no offense) that’s a jock (no offense) who always either looks high with how giggly he is (no offense) or bereaved with how he scowls (no offense) could POSSIBLY like you???

you who’s the art major (no offense) with your clothes almost exactly like he is (no offense) that he has an inkling that either you were copying him or him copying you (no offense) and the shyness that you absolutely wouldn’t talk to anyone unless they go first and tHAT even became a tough cookie for him!! h i m

wait

on another thought...

that does make sense

you and jungkook are more likely to be a couple than anyone else more alike to either of you, no offense :D

and the way now that you’re frozen and scoffing like ur voicing mater’s engine in cars

“w-what? FUCK no!!”

mhmmm

yeah that’s the spot

taehyung means this in full offense but you’d be absolutely bankrupt if ever you wanted to try your hand at poker when your tell is literally cussing in capital when you’re flustered

this is the equivalent of your mom leaving you by the line to the cashier at the grocery when she needs to get something and you’re next at the line and you have no money on you and you’re too hesitant to tell the person behind you to-

“why? are you thinking of asking him out?”

he hears you seethe and that’s only the second time he’s heard you actually do that so he may have straightened his posture a lil

you wouldn’t hold it against taehyung because jungkook is one fINE specimen and tae doesn’t stare from that description anyway

you just can’t help but feel a lil.....

ಠ_ಠ

because you know that jungkook is yours and when it comes to things like these, you can’t do anything about it

how could you??

fine... if taehyung tries to-

smack!

the fact that your friend has a gigantic palm for one doesn’t soothe the gears in your head

you’re positive that your brain actually shook inside your head for a split second

“i already have someone, dumbass.”

taehyung has to remind you again to which you immediately awe in remembrance, a sheepish smile on your face bc for a moment, you actually considered begging for tae to back the fuck off without making it seem you’re already with jungkook

he waves you off because you’re about to coo at him again, a small smile on his face because he wouldn’t forget how he’s so lucky

it’s nice to be in love!!

you should probably try it some time

but then again, taehyung’s starting to think that you’ve been in a longer relationship with jungkook than him in one, so he thinks that he should be the one taking notes from you

“can i, uhm, ask how did you know?”

you don’t mind swallowing your pride because you already know you can’t bullshit your way out of this one, a timid look on your lap

sheesh

tae’s pride seems to swell up because his suspicion’s right just by oNE singular try

“because i’m rich kid kim :) don’t you know that?”

see now this is only one of the few times that he’d gladly take his title

rich kid kim was coined by the courtesy of changbin, his girlfriend’s friend :/

it just seemed to STICK on everyone else after then

changbin was the first to narrate his actions like he’s the lead star of a poorly-produced netflix film

what’s wrong with rich kid kim? is his greeting every time he crosses paths with changbin

he was just pissy that oNE time!! it was ONE time

taehyung thinks of the whole jungkook situation and relates it to him as much as possible because ya know,,, he is the main star and koo’s just a second lead

ok changbin’s netflix narrations are really rubbing off on him

“think of jeon jungkook as an elitist that everyone wants to be close with, and yet he actually looks like one of the good guys — like me — and he looks like he wants to shoot himself in the foot when he gets offered caviar oNE more time, and then you’re like uh, the comic relief???”

he spews his interpretation all in one breath effortlessly and you’re just blinking slowly to try and digest it all

it’s oddly too specific

hol up now why does it sound like he’s been actually waiting for you to ask him that

HOLD ON YOU’RE THE COMIC RELIEF???

“a clowN?” is what you react first and tae can’t believe that that’s the only thing you picked up from his perfectly sound analogy

“uhhhh like a bartender? a waitress? someone that isn’t a socialite,” he shrugs as he tries to make amends, remembering that the last time he went to a rich kid kim party, no one was technically in pennywise shoes nor juggling bowling pins

“are you trying to insult me tae?”

:((

yIKES are u gonna cry

“what?? no!! no!!” he launches from his seat as if he was falling and that catches him a couple of glances from rich kid kim loyalists (there’s a lot of things he’s unaware of), about to punch the floor if only their lord and savior didn’t take it in stride, “i’m not trying to insult you, but it’s how you take it, y’know?”

his nonchalance puts you on the edge even more, launching from your seat and uh you don’t exactly have any concerned fanbase there to worry for you

“so i sHOULD?? tae you’re basically saying that-”

alright that’s it

he needs to actually get through you this time because more often that not, you are so fucking stubborn that it beats him

he glares at you, eyes looking comically large and pissy as he’s stopped in the middle of slurping from his cup noodles to talk some sense into you

it feels like an eternity until he finishes his noodles and you were almost tempted to just eat the remaining portion to fasten his pace

“in rich kid kim terms, or reality y/n terms?”

you’re almost too scared to answer but you already do before you can even process, raising two fingers

and for a moment, you think tae’s actually gonna go easy on you!

whew you definitely aren’t prepared if-

“do you come out together by the main door? or from the back?”

your eyes are as large as they could possibly be and if you stay in that same shocked and taken-aback state, you’d need to look for those creams with how much your eyebrows and your forehead are creased

u-uh well now that i think about it-...” okay maybe you and jungkook don’t come into uni by any of the several hundred main entrances at all, but that doesn’t mean-

“does he hold your hand? carry your backpack? doesn’t matter if you have a dumbbell in there or not, does he carry it?” tae lists item after item, racking through his mind as these were also all the things he does, and all the things he’s picked up from everyone

“does he bring your water? lend his hoodie when you’re not even sniffling? pick a fight when someone even looks at you the wrong way? read something relatively romantic in english lit, then text you about it? brag about you to his friends? does he-...”

...

....

okay

you are awfully too silent for even your nature

tae was blissfully obvious just two seconds ago when he was enumerating boyfriend traits (that he himself exhibited, excuse you) left and right

then he started to realize that you weren’t stuttering nor interjecting on the side

he’s :O when you’re standing up from your seat, straightening out your hoodie, one that isn’t jungkook’s, that you’ve been anxiously wrinkling for the past ten minutes

“excuse me, tae. i have uh.. i have a lot to think about.”

everything he’s said made a solid number on you because not even distracting yourself becomes successful

not even your mini fixation on gouache helped you because so far it really sucks

it’s become a routine of jungkook to come over to your apartment almost everyday that it practically feels he’s living with you

he knows where you keep your milk and how cold you want the AC to blast and how you organize your groceries

and yet jungkook can’t-

“koo do you love me?”

it’s a question that was sprung so suddenly because come to think of it, you’re knitting and jungkook’s head is buried in your thighs while he tries to take a nap

he doesn’t bother trying to figure out your thought process because it’s a question that’s so simple that it seemed trivial

jungkook’s a dream when he nods and hums to your thighs, making you tread your hands on his hair instead of your roll of yarn

“mhmmm. more than life itself.”

he loves loves you!!! he doesn’t even know why you’re asking

“okay,” you hum back, crouching down to press a kiss on his nape that he appreciates because he’s a little ticklish on that spot, “hold my hand tomorrow then.”

:-)

jungkook launches from his position on your thighs, sitting up immediately that it’s gotten him dizzy

“... w-what?”

oh boy here it goes

you don’t feel like dancing around this issue anymore because after all, you do have the right to stick your finger in this!!

he’s your boyfriend i mean like what’s not clicking

“it’s not that big of a deal, jungkook. it’s not like i asked you to propose to me or something.”

his eyes widen more at that, his cheeks puffing out and it makes you realize that taehyung was right and it dOES look like he’s hiding a goldfish in there sometimes

you try to bite back a laugh at that but jungkook is devoid from any entertainment at all, looking like you just asked him to pick between you and the universe

“you uh want me to propose??”

he has his hand awkwardly caressing his nape and his cheeks flush as he’s trying to process things

yeah he DOES love you and he’ll marry you eventually but you’re doing this now!!! as in now??

how’s your wedding gonna work? god, can the two of you decide on the menu for your reception? does this mean your aunts and his aunts would mee?? no no that could not possibly be-

“you don’t need to,” you sheepishly mumble and you’re not gonna deny that marrying jungkook did cross your mind every once in awhile

you aren’t against it but marriage is not the issue at hand!! it’s just about him hOLDING your hand tomorrow and not forever now

“so you don’t want me to?”

...... christ where is this going to

there’s palpable tension in the air and you just feel like giving up, sinking further into the couch and koo’s reading TOO much into it

what if you slouching on the couch means you’re breaking up with him and you wouldn’t marry him even if he was the last person alive

“if you aren’t ashamed of me, or if you don’t feel like dYING when i’m five feet away from you and your jock friends-“

“lovie i-“

your ringless hand raises and prompts him to shut up, palms a little sweaty and fingers tired from stress-knitting

“then hold my hand. tomorrow. please.”

:-)

okay fine then

last night wasn’t exactly the best experience because you felt a little too distant even if he was enveloping you into his arms

last night, kook didn’t even dare to try and press mischievous kisses from your jaw to your shoulder because you felt untouchable with how wringed you were

then he had breakfast by himself much earlier and had to practically sHAKE you awake to whisper that he’s gonna leave earlier because he has a plan, and then proceeds to tell you to act as if you didn’t know that he has a plan, then go back to sleep and forget altogether that this literal rude awakening even happened

if you ask him, he is wearing the most boyfriend fit ever in this entire universe

which is uh his regular outfit of a fit shirt and a cool-looking jacket with chunk boots thrown on top of it

BUT!!!!

hear him out ok

he’s wearing a bracelet

uh huh

a bracelet...... that has the iNITIAL of your name

yuh how romantic is that

man both hallmark and netflix must be bankrupt because of jeon jungkook!! he’s sure of it

he just knows

the big deal of it all is jungkook waiting for you by the stairs, bouncing on heels out of displaced nervous energy because he’s too jittery to just coolly lean against the wall

“kook?”

you’re tilting your head at the sight, a little lost but more on fond as he smiles squarely

“y/n! it’s uh, it’s you! wow!!”

he exclaims but not without tucking his hands into his pockets and non-discreetly looking around your surrounding before he deems it clear enough, which is what you still find useless for him to even do it!!

the whole point of this is to not care!!

he’s gingerly placing himself beside you and although it’s not exactly what you asked for, it makes you sigh a breath of relief because it’s been tOO long that you’ve been next to him in this public atmosphere

he’s not exactly far, but he isn’t exactly bumping shoulders with you either

there are some glances alright

jungkook has a loose grip on you but you could fEEL how his hand is so sweaty

he’s just looking at the floor and he allows you to guide him because if not for you, he would’ve been bumping into both lockers and people non-stop

u actually have first period together but you typically sit rowS away but now he’s just sitting on the chair right above yours

he isn’t next to you but he’s literally above you, so maybe you’ll take it

you can’t exactly text taehyung how it’s going because he could see everything from where he’s seated at

this was supposed to be an enjoyable time :(

a nice, giggly, warm enjoyable time with jungkook

but being this unrestricted meant him being so rigid that quite frankly, you’ve grown sick and wary of it in less than an hour

you’re making your way to the library and jungkook’s sTILL following you when you were sure he wouldn’t have

and if you ask him, he doesn’t know either why he followed you

he jus did it without thinking even if it meant him taking quick steps behind you with his head down

he doesn’t know why you’re here and he feels a little guilty that he should know it if this was already a part off your routine

but this time, jungkook can’t look at you because this time, you’re the one who’s unreachable

who kNOWS what your empty stare could possibly mean

“we don’t have to do this anymore, y’know.”

that’s the quickest way to conclude it, nodding to yourself surely

meanwhile, jungkook is a millisecond away from a goddamn mELTDOWN

“w-what do you mean?”

“this!” you genuinely chuckle and even wiggle your hands around to make a point

he swears to god rn that he is gonna BLUBBER

“a-are you breaking up with me right now?”

his voice is already cracking and it reminds him that oh, yeah, the two of you are in the library and he’s about to cRY

you’re gasping when you take his trembling hand and jungkook wants to snatch it back and beg you to hold it tighter at the same time

oh no :-)

“it’s okay. i don’t mind anymore. and what, we’re gonna graduate like a year from now! doesn’t matter anymore.”

but wait it SHOULD matter

he’s gonna cry oh god oh god he’s gonna-

“you don’t need to change for me.”

:((

so that’s what

jungkook cries and it’s from relief that no, you aren’t breaking up with him

“o-okay,” he nods as he wipes his own tears that are blurring his vision and there’s sO much that he actually worries if it would budge his contacts

he just wants a hug from you to console him like you always do

but instead, you look around, settle on tapping his chin, then standing up

“cheer up. i’m gonna go eat lunch with felix.”

and then yOU’RE the one leaving him

quick

does he really look like a red-nosed, bleary-eyes, puffy-lipped mess??

say sike rn lads

jungkook clearly doesn’t look the best and he doesn’t exactly know what he was doing when he came out of the library and marched over to hang out with his friends like he always did

but something’s just different

he looks like someone whose world turned upon him and has nothing left to himself

surprisingly, it’s not hobi who’s the only one thinking of that

his friends are all ????

“y’okay man??”

namjoon’s the first to break the silence and everyone sighs because they were all holding a breath just by looking at jungkook’s distraught state

“yeah! just, uh, just —“

he’s back to being preppy in an instant but he can’t establish eye contact, swinging his arms by his sides and looking around just to look natural and gOD IS THAT YOU??

you’re you

you’re there, walking with felix and your backpack on hIS shoulder

.,., the same backpack that he’s bought you one birthday ago, on tHIS dude’s shoulder strewn as if he didn’t panic in between which variant should he buy for you

you look blissfully unaware that he’s cried himself just by thinking about you and your words and lack of actions just awhile ago

“nothing.”

jungkook grits out and suddenly, he isn’t sad anymore :D

just uh

just a lil frustrated :D agitated :D or maybe feeling a little inadequate and outraged :D

this other mini breakdown going on his head doesn’t go unnoticed because here he is, so close to injuring his fist with how tight he’s clenching it

the guys, however.,.,

seokjin whistles and goes as far to squint his eyes intentionally that he looked like a distraught chihuahua, immediately grabbing jungkook’s actions as he nods his head to your direction

“y/n, right?”

jungkook froze and everyone is just waiting on him, mouths a little parted because they’ve caught on jin’s little plan and somehow, he might’ve struck a chord sO hard that-

“keep your fucking dick in your pants, seokjin.”

WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH

everyone’s reacting to his seething like a flock of seagulls to a piece of bread

yeah they’ve seen the youngest of their group mad, but not tHIS type of mad that he looks like he would’ve hit his hyung with a skillet upright if he had one onhand

everyone’s visibly offended besides seokjin, the man mentioned just amusedly shrugging his shoulders with a dimpled smile that unintentionally provoked jungkook even more

“told you,” yoongi gives up his last batch of cookies to namjoon, a long-winded bet finally coming to an end because of what was only supposed to be a harmless question by jin

“if y/n was your girlfriend, you could’ve just said so!!”

jin ruffles his hair and it doesn’t exactly take a genius to see how he cares for you!!

jungkook looks out for you in ways he couldn’t even notice doing

he always had two umbrellas in his backpack and when it was raining, he’d leave one on purpose by the front of this specific locker

hoseok actually borrowed an eraser without permission from kook once, but then he found a combination of tampons n napkins that he grimaced because what :// those aren’t even the good brands!! he has a sister and now has a handful of knowledge about monthly visits, so he takes note to talk to jungkook about it some time

there’s even an extra sweater in his backpack that always remains unotuched

one time, jimin complained that he was cold and turned to jungkook, full-well knowing that the fucker had oNE more sweater tucked in his bag, who just plains-out ignore him and even tch!s him under his breath

they somehow had a clue all along and now that jungkook realizes, he may be a little dENSE

OH RIGHT

WHY WOULD HE HAVE KEPT YOU HIDDEN

that’s entirely stoopid of him

what was the reason lmao

this time, jungkook’s more than eager to make it up to you

eVEN if you’ve insisted that nothing was wrong!!

it was just the last day before christmas break so it went by considerably fast-paced because even the professors were a little antsy to come home!!

that didn’t stop him, because clearly, jungkook holds your hand tight this time and he’s looking straight ahead

he looks proud

he feels natural and giggly the whole day that you couldn’t stop either because it’s a complete 360 from yesterday

wouldn’t absolutely stop holding your hand and following you

even kisses the top of your head like a kitten repeatedly

eVEN SAT IN A CLASS HE DIDN’T HAVE TO BE WITH YOU

something’s up with jungkook alright

the two of you are back again on the couch — you knitting, and him buried and napping on your thighs

it’s a bit of a shock when he grabs your hand all of a sudden, a half-sleepy and full-on dreamy look on his face when he’s looking up at you from being laid down on your lap

a red silicone band :D

you’re still speechless when he’s sliding it on your ring finger, admittedly getting the wrong finger the first time which is why he’s sheepish and holding back a giggle

“jungkook....?”

unsurprisingly, it looks good on you

he seems to think so himself when he’s giving you another one, holding his hand out and you’re doing the same without even an explanation present

“it’s a placeholder :)”

a placeholder?? hold on ur heart is a lil fragile

your eyes widen and your lips downturn on instinct, making him giggle as he smushes your cheeks to just let him explain

“all this marriage talk just had me thinking-”

“are you PROPOSING right now??”

both the mix of panic and excitement stains you clearly, mouth dropping open as you try to fumble for atleast something to wipe your face with

hee-hee��

“maybe i am, maybe i’m not :)”

jungkook’s such a romantic it’s SICKENING

his mind drifts off and you can’t blame him!!

his family’s well-off so maybe he could cash in his next ten birthdays for a loan or maybe even a house to help ease the two of you in

maybe the two of you could even build it from the ground up

the two of you could also move into this nice apartment after graduation!! he’s been eyeing it for quite awhile actually

“you wanna get married early?”

“maybe i do, maybe i don’t :D”

jungkook’s faux nonchalance makes you grin yourself, the both of you knowing what answer he’d yield anyway

“as long as it’s you,” you declare surely, bending down to press a kiss on his nose that tickles him and makes his heart full

“as long as it’s me?”

jungkook smiles cheekily at your statement pressing kisses on the top of your thighs that’s got you fumbling at him to just embrace you immediately

he’s a little bulky with all the muscles he’s gained and worked on, a little pressured when he’s sitting on your lap upright and won’t absolutely stop kissing you sweetly

“you should start on knitting your wedding garter now :D”

#feedback pls and thank u :D hAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook imagine #jungkook imagines #jungkook drabble #jungkook drabbles #jungkook oneshot #jungkook oneshots #jungkook au #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jock!jungkook #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook fic recs

1K notes · View notes

hongism · 3 years

Text

hi caly boo its ur 🌊 anon! i finally finished the most brilliant darkness and oh my lawd i’m in spain without the s. to put it shortly: U DID NOT DISAPPOINT BESTIE, and it seems unreal that u and ur mind and this fic even exists bc every moment is just polished to perfection, while simultaneously every character is polished to a sort of imperfect perfection(?). i have so many questions and things to say idek where to start, and tho im not good with words and even worse at deciphering hidden meanings, here are just some of my thoughts that i remember from the story.

hello my dear!!! eee im gonna answer separately since i think i’ll be very long-winded as usual but first of all thank you so much :(( this fic is actually very full of subliminal messages and hidden nuances that are weaved throughout which i think could be quite confusing so i apologize for that! if i had managed my time better, i would have adjusted when i started the fic to account for managing those aspects of the fic but alas i’m terrible at time management and i suck so. anyways.

first of all, ngl halfway into the story i lowkey forgot this was a wooyoung fic bc SANNN and also bc wooyoung appeared like 3 times lol. even after it finishing all that, i still had my doubts as to why this is a wooyoung fic, or more like why is san this significant in a wooyoung fic. im still a bit slow on these pls forgive me and im just curious why u made it like that.

i think yeah the most interesting thing about this fic is the emphasis on san over wooyoung. and when looking over it yeah i could have switched san and wooyoung’s characters and called it a day, but wooyoung really in my mind acts as the integral turning point for decisions made in the story.

the goal with the fic wasn’t really to be hyperfocused on the pairing itself, but rather the emotions and thought processes of each character (aside from wooyoung). wooyoung was kept intentionally mysterious and a bit set apart from the rest of the fic because his role in story was moreso an abstract of hestia, the goddess of the hearth and home. wooyoung’s character appeared in times where y/n was struggling with the thought of home or adjusting to the new changes in her life! wooyoung’s pairing itself was actually intended to be solely platonic at first, but as the story went on i thought having mc develop feelings for him added another turning point in the fic!

moving on, the second biggest question i had is the whole hestia!wooyoung and cafe aurora situation. i did a bit of reading on hestia and only found out that she was the goddess of hearth, which might explain the fireplace and the kind of homey feeling to the cafe. and ‘cafe aurora not really existing to most’ part, which was already hinted at wooyoung randomly disappearing, mc never seeing the cafe before or wooyoung only bringing people he wants into it. i get that him inviting mc must suggest her significance to him, but why was he so adamant about his friends not mentioning him or the cafe to mc before that? wooyoung is quite a mysterious character i think, and given that this fic is supposed to be about him, it’s a bit odd that there’s still so many things left unknown, but its kinda cool that way nonetheless and im guessing u would also like to explain that further outside of the story too.

i think my biggest regret about this fic is the fucking summary.... i wrote that summary well before i even started writing the fic thinking it would go in that direction but it didn’t. and since this fic was for a collab, i left the summary as is because i genuinely cannot for the life of me figure out a better one. but i’m trying to figure out a better one. but i really fucking hate the current summary because it’s not at all what the fic is truly about and i hate it.

however, i don’t hate the fic itself, and the reason why i don’t is because i got to play with both my writing style and how i displayed the story. for this collab we were asked to pick a greek god and one of the seven deadly sins, and i selected hestia and sloth. and initially i had intended to have sloth be represented by the reader’s depression, and wooyoung be a more ‘real’ depiction of hestia. i shifted gears very early on in the fic but what it became is moreso abstract realizations in the characters.

san’s character is meant to be this idea of sloth, and it’s mentioned several times that he doesn’t want to move forward, he wants to go slow, he wants to stop moving so fast through life, and those things point to him being a depiction of sloth

wooyoung’s was harder to encapsulate in a more abstract way but you hit the nail on the head really with the homey feeling of the cafe. beyond that, mc talks about just naturally feeling at ease and comfortable with how things are with wooyoung and being around him, and he takes up this role of being the likeable, warm, cozy, comforting character. it all comes to a head in the last scene where he brings both y/n and san into the cafe.

and again wooyoung’s character is meant to be most mysterious and abstract, but if i had had more time to fully flesh out the fic, i think i would have liked to touch more on him. at the same time however i left it more open-ended and open to interpretation. the significance in him inviting mc in and not being mentioned by the others sooner is twofold. one; the others never really had any reason whatsoever to mention wooyoung. he was a friend outside the circle who never joined in with them when mc was around. i personally in my own friendships don’t mention friends outside the circle by name or anything, just kinda vaguely talking about them unless im certain the people know who this person is. the concept of wooyoung having to invite mc in was more nuanced and vague as well, intentionally so, but that was moreso meant to represent this idea of ‘you can’t make a home somewhere where you aren’t invited’ so y/n couldn’t fully make a home of the place she was in without being invited in and welcomed in, but again that’s something i wish i had more time to fully flesh out.

the hongjoong speech about love (and also the interaction with seonghwa after that) deserves a standing ovation of its own 👏 unfortunately, or not, im not actually going through the emotional turmoil regarding love the same way as hj or mc to be able to fully relate to his words, but the whole ‘if you dont love what u see in the mirror then u dont love it’ mentality really hit me hard, and i’d like to hang onto that when i make decisions in the future haha thank you wise caly! seonghwa and hongjoong’s story is also beautiful, and just like mc said, the more i look at it the more it hurts :’)

the hongjoong speech about love was meant to be something very jaded and specific to his worldview. it actually isn’t wholly how i view love personally, but it was a perfect description to how both he and y/n perceived the love in their own lives. mostly thanks to their own emotional turmoils. the mentality of the mirror quote is something that i think i also struggle with, which is why i included it. it’s hard to do, but even in friendships, i think it’s necessarily to stop and look at the person you were before this relationship and then the person during this relationship. if you don’t love the one you are now, then maybe it’s a sign to reflect and see the bigger picture, so that was a lil reminder to myself and i’m glad it touched you as well!!!

“do you love him, or do you love the idea of being in love with him?” - haha i see what u did there (or maybe i didnt please dont laugh at me if i didnt). its still so good everytime i see it bc i keep finding myself loving just the idea of things time and time again even when this makes total sense to me oof :/

heh yeah again with the more abstract concepts this one was more direct and ‘cliche’ but i fully wanted that cliche in the fic because i thought it suited the situation where mc was constantly struggling with a version of san that she thought she loved vs the version of san she got every time they were together

despite how enlightened she seems to be, mc still made the same choices, and i wanna smack her for it and pat her back at the same time. and maybe also bc of the fact that she feels so differently for the two men that i feel like no ending could really justify her decision, so ending in the vague is probably the best. your ending might kind of allude to someone more than the other already, and tho i still don’t think he’s the best one for her based on just my pov on love, i kinda agree with you. but again, this raises the question of, why a wooyoung fic and not a san fic?

and yeah the whole knife in the chest at the end of it all is that she was still too scared to face the music so to speak. but really i would say she made the same choices up until the conversation on the balcony with san. and you’re absolutely right, the reason i chose the ending the way i did was because either way, there’s no justification. and actually although it might seems like i was alluding to someone specific, san being in the cafe at the very end was moreso to represent that as much as they fought, he still very much loved her and wanted to be loved by her. it was kinda an open casket ending there were no nails in the coffin, the choice between wooyoung and san still stands and an argument could be made for either of them! i think this is a fic that i could see myself revisiting one day with two endings - one for san, and one for wooyoung.

something i didn’t mention earlier about wooyoung’s character being left intentionally mysterious was that he was representing a new and budding love. the honeymoon phase where you’re falling for someone you don’t even really know. you are the reader aren’t meant to really know who wooyoung is because of that beyond what you read about him, so his past and such was left out intentionally to represent that idea of ‘hey wow im in love with a stranger!’ whereas san was this gritty love that’s bad for you. and there are pros and cons to each just as with anything!!

so,,,, why a wooyoung fic and not a san fic? well i picked wooyoung for my collab so he was one of the main focuses of the fic regardless of which direction i took with it. as for why wooyoung wasn’t more forward, i already answered that but !!! i view it as both a wooyoung fic and a san fic. both are highlighted characters with main pairing roles!

i literally just woke up to write this and am going back to sleep ahaha so i apologize if this makes no sense. i somehow felt like i’ve read so much yet so little at the same time, maybe bc there are still so many things i havent fully made sense of, and that’s where i hope you come in and enlighten me. i still stand by my word that this fic deserves so much more recognition despite the lack of explicit smut bc of how much more you’ve explored through character building. love you caly and thank u for working so hard <3 — 🌊

no worries my beloved i hope you go back to sleep and get lots and lots of rest!! and i hope my response helps enlighten the not so clear things as well dgjdklfg but really thank you so much. it was a long fic and hard to get through at times, but as a whole, i’m proud of it and what i created, so thank you for recognizing my efforts and appreciating them 🥺

#🌊 anon #fic; the most brilliant darkness

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innocent-until-proven-geeky · 4 years

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for the character thing; cody, obi wan, and ur oc pova (is that how you spell it?)

YEAHYEAHYEAH (also that is how you spell it) I see we’re doing the whole family and I LOVE it.

I was in the middle of answering this and then I went to find my favorite episodes and Tumblr ate whatever I was working on sooooo I start over.

Cody

Why I like them: Sass. Fandom’s interpretation as Ultimate Big Brother (behind Alpha-17, of course). Mysterious scar. And he’s pretty.

Why I don’t: Honestly? The fact that the clones are slave soldiers, and the fact that fandom tends to give racially biased interpretations of the clones (I’m guilty of this too). Nothing to do with Cody himself, honestly, which isn’t to say he’s perfect or anything, I find him to be rough around the edges but who wouldn’t be in his shoes?

Favorite episode: s1e16 The Hidden Enemy. This one is probably on my top 5 list even without Cody. But guys. GUYS. “Hey there, Slick. Gun’s empty.” WHAT COULD BE MORE ICONIC?

Favorite film: Okay technically these questions were “episode/scene if a movie” and “season/movie” but because he’s in both I’m gonna have to go with a film for this one. Revenge of the Sith. Listen, I can’t watch ROTS without crying but damn if I don’t love Cody in it anyway. The lightsaber scene will ALWAYS get me. (Season 1 gets an honorable mention.)

Favorite line: Uh. Well. Okay so. “Hey there, Slick. Gun’s empty.” *holds up mag* LISTEN GUYS I LOVE THAT ONE. Although he also gets points for “I’m putting you in charge of this one.” I don’t know if season 1 just has a lot of iconic Cody lines, or if it’s because I’ve been watching that season in Spanish lately.

Favorite outfit: ... his armor? No actually though, I love his Phase II armor. Phase I is cool but Phase II has the cool ventilators. And how can I not make fun of his antenna?

OTP: Codywan. Ideally in a post-war fix-it or semi-fix-it where there isn’t a huge power imbalance, but I’ve been known to read Codywan stuff that takes place during the war, especially before I was as cognizant of the power imbalance as I am now.

BroTP: Cody and Rex. I’m sure y’all saw that one coming. I mean it’s CODY and REX, I’m pretty sure that’s everyone’s BroTP!

Headcanon: So this might be a good time to mention that I headcanon everyone everywhere as autistic. Everyone is autistic. Cody is autistic. Okay actually though, I headcanon that Cody has a great deal of anxiety. He handles it well, and he has a support system, but given his entire life, and the fact that he’s a Marshal Commander, and further more the headcanon we collectively have that Obi-Wan insists on promoting Cody to get out of paperwork because Cody deserves it, he’s probably anxious. And man, same.

Unpopular opinion: Do I have one? Tbh I don’t know how to determine whether an opinion about a character is unpopular. How do we define unpopular? Do we mean just like, not commonly known or shared? Because if so, I once again raise for your consideration: everyone is autistic, therefore Cody is autistic.

A wish: For Disney to retcon Order 66. Barring that, for the Bad Batch show to give him a happy ending involving the removal of his chip and the opportunity to live happily ever after with Obi-Wan on Tatooine. (Is the Bad Batch show going to be live-action like Kenobi? Because PLEASE give me Temuera Morrison playing Cody in both.)

An oh-gosh-please-don’t-ever-happen: Don’t laugh. Order 66. Listen I KNOW it’s canon but that doesn’t mean I have to like it!

5 words to best describe them: Salty. Snarky. Protective. Competent. Thoughtful.

My nickname for them: honestly, just Codes or Kote. Not much to get out of Cody, really.

Obi-Wan:

Why I like them: HE’S PRETTY. And sassy. There’s a pattern here.

Why I don’t: I don’t think there’s ever a time in canon that he acknowledges all the issues with the clones’ existence. He does in fanon, which I can appreciate, but canonically he’s like, “ah yes, we bought 3.2 million humans. We’ll just stick them in this war I guess.” Also frankly he’s a bit oblivious, bordering on daft, especially considering he’s the Negotiator, I mean he KEPT HIS LAST NAME when he went into hiding. I still love him though.

Favorite scene: That deleted “good girl, Boga” scene, which just hits different when you’ve read Master & Apprentice and know how much he loves varactyls. I don’t care that it’s deleted. It’s my favorite. (Plus you’ll probably like this better than my favorite episode, which is the Kadavo episode.)

Favorite film: Attack of the Clones. Listen listen listen, he has a lot of good moments in TCW, but hands down it’s AOTC.

Favorite line: Eheheheheheh. Eheheheheheheh. Eheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh. “Hello there!”

Favorite outfit: Was gonna make a comment about Jedi robes but then I remembered his stolen Mandalorian armor in The Lawless and *swoons* that’s one pretty outfit.

OTP: ... also Codywan. Again, ideally in an AU with less of a power imbalance, I mean it doesn’t matter how much he promotes Cody, canonically he’s still a Jedi and Cody is still a slave and I just don’t love that but I live for Codywan. Domestic Codywan? *chef’s kiss*

BroTP: probably Obi-Wan and Anakin. Maybe Obi and Padmé? Idk I have Thoughts about Anakin, he’s a problem child, but not much can top the agony in “You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you!” (I like whump, okay?) Also just. Can you imagine the Negotiator just being buds with Senator Amidala? Helping each other with domestic disputes and speeches? Working on a Clone Rights Bill? Yeah. Can it be a broT3? What if we just don’t have Anakin and Padmé dating? It’s such an unhealthy relationship. That’s it, broT3 is Anakin, Padmé, and Obi-Wan.

Headcanon: ACE!OBI ACE!OBI ACE!OBI!!!!!! Also,,, autistic!Obi. I know I know, but actually genuinely @fromryloth-tocorellia has some pretty good autistic!Obi-Wan stuff, including Obi-Wan being semi-verbal, low-verbal, and non-verbal. Autistic characters is a hill I will die on, and Obi-Wan is a character I happen to enjoy projecting on (oops). Plus, if I headcanon Cody and Obi-Wan as autistic, then the entire Ibonek family is autistic, and I love that.

Unpopular opinion: The only reason Obi-Wan “left Anakin to die” was because there was nothing he could safely do to help. When I was taking first aid classes, one of the first things they told us was that, unless there is no danger to yourself, you do not help. You wait for actual first responders to show up. If Obi-Wan had tried to help Anakin, either Anakin would have killed him or Obi-Wan would also have been severely burned. And if he had stayed, he may have been caught by Palpatine. Is it sad that he left? Absolutely. Heartbreaking. I don’t think it was a GOOD decision. But he didn’t just leave him to die; there was no other safe option. There were no good decisions here. I have a lot of thoughts about this, I have half-written essays on Discord about it, feel free to ask further questions.

A wish: For Qui-Gon’s dying words to be retconned. I know I wrote that post about how his dying words were full of trust in Obi-Wan and I stand by that, but that doesn’t mean Obi-Wan realized that, or that they were a good choice.

An oh-gosh-please-don’t-ever-happen: For the Kenobi show to be sad. It’s not allowed. Obi-Wan can have one fight, and that’s it, he is happy as a clam on Tatooine because he DESERVES GOODNESS DAMNIT.

5 words to best describe them: Kind. Soft. Warm. Compassionate. Daft.

My nickname for them: Obi

Pova:

What I like about them: They’re my OC and I can do whatever I want with them!

What I don’t: They’re my OC and I’m in charge of them.

(Okay actually though:)

What I like about them: Nonverbal. Pink. Perpetually grumpy.

What I don’t: perpetually grumpy. Seriously how did that happen? Why did I do that? Why is the only time they AREN’T grumpy around Rex or when shopping with Obi-Wan?

Favorite scene: The adoption scene in “Observations on the Nature of Cody Ibonek”.

Favorite work: Probably “Observations”. It’s the first one that’s entirely from Pova’s point of view.

Favorite line: “He was making fun of my stimming. I was already having a bad day. I punched him. It’s whatever.” POVA NO. (Pova yes.)

Favorite outfit: Uh. Haven’t given it much thought yet? Haven’t done many character designs, although fromryloth-tocorellia did one for me and it’s my icon at @ver-writes-things if you want to check that out? Also my Halloween costume is gonna be a super basic cosplay of them and I’ll probably post that.

OTP: None. First of all, the oldest I’ve written them so far is 14. Second, I don’t have any other characters their age yet. Maybe the six kids from the Gathering episode survived? But even then I probably wouldn’t ship it. And I mean, not every character needs a romantic ship.

BroTP: Either Pova and Rex or Pova and Luke. Rex is like big brother/cool uncle, and Luke is like little brother. As of right now, though, definitely Rex, as I haven’t written much of anything with Luke.

Headcanon: I don’t have any because all my headcanons about this character are CANON! Man I love having OCs.

Unpopular opinion: to quote Paige Layle on TikTok: “Stop using the term low functioning autistics when you really mean that they’re just nonverbal. And nonverbal autistics still have a lot to say, they just have a hard time talking.” Basically, I’m certain that as this AU gains traction, Pova’s gonna start getting flak from readers for being nonverbal. It hasn’t happened yet, and maybe I’m just being pessimistic, but just in case someone needs the reminder: No. Stop now. Pova’s autistic. And nonverbal. And not a savant (man I fucking hate that trope). But they are a capable Jedi and, with Cody and Obi, developed a very functional sign language comprised of Jedi hand signals, trade sign language (like from episode 5 of the Mandalorian, that the Tuskens use?), and ARC signals. There will be NO functioning labels on this AU, and Pova has and will continue to have PLENTY to say. If you have a problem you know where the door is.

A wish: For everyone to love my kiddo as much as I do!

An oh-gosh-please-don’t-ever-happen: Listen Pova is gonna have a good and happy life. There is trauma and there is bullying and there is heartache but they are going to live a good life with two AMAZING dads. So there is no “don’t ever happen” because it won’t.

5 words to best describe them: Sneaky. Quiet. Excitable. Compassionate. Snarky.

My nickname for them: Kiddo or my kiddo.

#star wars #the clone wars #obi-wan kenobi #commander cody #OC Pova #Pova Ibonek

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punkrockinchairs · 7 years

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So, I’m thinking about joining a church and as somebody who left the Catholic Church at 18 and only waves at it these days, there’s a lot of Huh? Going on in my mind. What's up with this urge?

!!! i’m so glad you like my readings enough to get another one 💖💖💖

so, i did a full ten-card celtic cross spread for this one, since the issues go a little deeper than a first date lmao. buuuuuut my deck seems to think ur fuckin awesome, so that’s the first thing to take away from this reading.

since this is a more complicated question & thus a more complicated spread, i’m gonna go over some general impressions first, then go through each card individually, and then talk abt the interactions btwn them!! under the cut bc it’s preeeeetty long lmfao

the way the celtic cross typically works is that it’s subdivided into a couple sections: the first two cards represent the querent (that’s you), the next four represent your state of mind, and the four after that represent external influences & suggestions. (biddytarot has a great how-to article abt reading this spread if u want a better/more specific idea of it.)

so first of all, i drew the fool for you again lmao, which leads me to believe you’re a person who is incredibly open to new ideas & experiences. also, it’s one of FIVE major arcana cards that i drew for this reading, which is rly rare (at least for me?? i usually get more face cards) but makes sense for a question like this one & also leads me to believe that you have incredible strength of character. secondly, i drew 3 cards from the suit of wands and drew 2 cards from cups (again, lmao) which suggests to me that you are a very compassionate idealist unafraid of taking action & making change.

the first card i drew, as i mentioned, was the fool. i told you before that it’s a card of possibility and adventure, and the fact that i drew it to represent you for this question is unsurprising to me—you’re thinking about making a Big change in your life and asking the hard questions. it seems to me that that’s a smart thing to do right now.

the second card in the celtic cross represents the challenge(s) you might be facing right now, and interestingly enough, i drew the tower here. it’s another card associated with change, but in a much more dramatic and specific sense than the fool. in this position it suggests to me—as you mentioned—that there was already a period of great change for you concerning religion, and it will likely be difficult for you again in the future—whether that’s a conflict of personal belief & church doctrine or something like difficulty finding the right place to worship remains to be seen.

the third card i drew, the knight of wands, represents your past in this spread. the suit of wands is traditionally associated with the element of fire, and thus with impulsivity and action (rather than pentacles, the suit of reason & logic, or cups, the suit of emotion and personal relationships). the court cards/face cards are interesting to interpret because they’re just as likely to represent a person (you or someone else) as they are an event or energy like other cards typically do (with some exceptions). in this case, given what you told me already, i would say that despite the fact that i drew it upright, it’s likely that it represents a figure of authority in your religious past—maybe a priest, but also potentially a relative or someone you knew through the church—who caused strife and difficulty in your relationship with religion, or the event or realization that caused you to leave the church when you did.

this card is indicative of the near future—not necessarily the outcome of your current course of action, but something that you will encounter soon no matter what you do. i drew judgement here, which, despite its scary name, is actually a very positive card! it indicates a period of self reflection—a sort of “come to Jesus” moment, if you will 😆—which is necessary to move forward in life. it seems to me to be suggesting that you take some serious time to think about your options before you make a decision; not necessarily that one option is right & one is wrong, but certainly that you should weigh them carefully & make sure to do what’s best/right for YOU.

the card in the top of the cross is said to stand for what you want out of your situation, and here i drew the three of cups. as i said before, cups is the suit of emotion and interpersonal relationships, and the threes of each suit tend to represent a coming together (though in different ways for each, lol). it seems to me that it’s important to you to have the community that a church or other religious organization can offer, and i would say that pursuing that is wonderful! (i personally am not super religious, but i’m in a choir at a local church for that exact reason. 😉)

the card at the bottom of the cross, conversely, represents not a goal but your subconscious mind—the things that drive or motivate you, or the reasons /why/ you do what you do. here i drew the page of wands, which is doubly interesting since i already drew the knight of the same suit! this card typically represents the spark of a new idea, before any action has been taken to realize it. the fact that i drew it in a position almost as opposite its knight as possible is a really interesting omen to me—it suggests that you are ready to move on from whatever it was that caused you to leave the church in the first place, and find or carve out a new place for yourself in a system; either the same one (catholicism) or one entirely new & different.

7: this card is the card of advice, and funnily enough, i drew the lovers! i mentioned in your last reading that it’s the most romantic card, and while that /is/ true, it also symbolizes relationships of all kinds. here and now in this reading, it suggests to me that now is EXACTLY the right time for you to build a new relationship with religion!

the eighth card in this spread is meant to tell about external influences that might be affecting your views, experiences, thoughts, actions; etc. here i drew the five of wands, which incidentally is one of the cards (besides the tower) that is truly representative of strife, difficulty, and change. it tells me that whatever conclusion you come to, it will be a long and arduous process to get there since you are coming to it from a place of—idk exactly what? mistrust? a feeling of betrayal, maybe? but whatever the case, you have a long and thoughtful road ahead.

i drew the strength card in the position associated with hopes and/or fears, which is both unsurprising and (imo) a positive omen! it’s a suggestion that, because of your experiences (with religion and otherwise), you have an unquenchable strength of spirit/will. no matter what happens, you have forever been affected or even changed by your relationship to religion—and for the better.

finally, i drew the queen of cups. the card in this last position is meant to represent the outcome of your current course, and the queen of cups is a figure of emotional maturity and compassion; the ability to find common ground with just about anyone. she suggests to me that, by thinking about this kind of thing, you are on the right path and may reach a kind of enlightenment—whether that means rejoining a church or just figuring our your own personal spirituality or belief system, thinking about those kinds of things is the right thing to do for yourself right now. of course, you may decide that it’s too much to handle at the moment, but the queen of cups tells me that no matter your decision or realization, you will likely make the healthiest, smartest choice for YOU, and that’s what really matters. 💜💜💜

sooooo, all that said, overall this reading says to me that, whatever your eventual choice, you’re on the right path. the fact that the outcome card (the queen of cups) is in harmony with your aspirations (the three of cups) and both your near future (judgement) and your hopes (strength) says to me that thinking about this, even with all of the “huh???” that it brings, is the right thing to do. if nothing else, it’s likely that you’ll learn & grow from this thought process, and your emotional maturity will only increase with whatever decision you make.

the fact that i drew FIVE cards from the major arcana is indicative of how Big and Serious this will be for you, so don’t worry if answers don’t come to you right away—take your time to REALLY think about the question you’re asking and the answer you want to receive, and know that whatever conclusion you come to, it will be the right one for the present time.

also, given the last reading i would say definitely continue to take care of yourself during this process!!! take a bubble bath once a week (or whatever) when you want to really think about this—surround yourself with positive energies and completely immerse yourself in the questions you have, because that is how you will find peace and understanding. 💖💖💖

#samsamtastic #kayci reads tarot #asks #long post //

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fragiilexa · 7 years

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1 - 10

identity ask………oh shit ACCEPTING

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

Hm, well I guess this is three questions omg but I’ll just go down the line. If they wanted to really understand me they’d have to read the Bible, which I know is saying a lot in one thing. But the reason I am the way I am is because of the things I’ve learned from that book and I would not be who I am without it. Of course I actually haven’t been able to read the whole thing yet but I take a lot of who I am from it & it’s just something that’s shaped me as a person? Oh but also I really don’t read books much anymore, but if I had to give another one it would be The Last Song? Maybe? ( The book is better than the movie, even tho I like the movie, the books better ) It just talks a lot about forgiveness & stuff and it was a lesson I really needed to learn at the time I read it & also am still learning. OH and also Crazy Love by Francis Chan, which is like a christian book, but it’s also had a huge impact on me, okay but onto watchin’.

Okay this is hard because there isn’t one full thing you could watch where the whole thing has impacted me. But there are a lot of movies I’ve learned from, ( and also since this doesn’t say specifically movies ) there are also a few speeches that I’ve really learned from ( and people would probably be able to understand me better if they watched them. But I can’t name those right now? But, I’d have to say, like, not as a whole, but Dr. Who, at least some specific episodes. Uh, Captain America?? The Help? There are more but I have a hard time naming movies/shows.

Okay and then music, fricken music, okay I could put so so so so many songs down, songs are like the soul of my life & help make me, me BUT I’m just going to give you ONE because if I didn’t this would go on forever and TWO it’s kind of my theme song but I Was Here, by the queen Beyonce. Is like, hands down my favorite *what makes me, me* song. I could name a lot more. I could make a 24 hour long playlist. But I won’t bc that would take forever.

2. have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

Yes, There have been a few and most of them are not on anymore but, Kae I think I can solidly say we think very similarly on just, like, how to develop muses, how to work out characters and how REAL they’re supposed to be, you know? Characters can, and should have flaws and no one has tons of perfect relationships. Real life is messy & writing should reflect that & I think we are just hella synced with that message & feeling and she’s just lovely so yeah @spookylip is bae & we think alike ( obviously bc we took those selfies that matched wITHOUT EVEN KNOWING ) we are #one

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

Girl Meets World: Riley Matthews.Glee: Tina Cohen - Chang.Marvel: Captain America, Steve Rogers.Hamilton: Eliza or Peggy SchyulerDisney: HeiHei ( no just kidding ) Moana, Princess Anna, Rapunzel,Harry Potter: Newt ScamanderStar Wars: FinnMy Little Pony: ( don’t u dare judge ) FlutterShyTwilight: Alice Cullen

4. do you like your name? is there another name you think would fit you better?

Okay so I used to not like my name so much ‘cause it was really bland & there were a lot of other girls named rebecca when I was in school, then people started calling me rachel so it was like ‘my name is totally forgettable’ ( or i was i dunno ) but over the past few years I’ve started to love it, though someone ruINED the meaning of it for me *side eyes that kinky anon* but I don’t really care & I love my name now, just, never ever call me becky or I will murder u in ur sleep. :))))

5. do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

I was slightly confused reading this but I re-read it & now I get it. I think at the moment, or for the longest time I’ve been a human being, like, there are just no opportunities right now for me to be doing what others my age are, or even younger than me. Not only that but I have to work on a lot of anxieties of mine, but that being said I don’t think I’m doing nothing. What I’m doing is small, yeah, but I try to do the best I can with what I have & I have a lot of faith that things happen for a reason & right now I’m keeping things going in my family & trying to better myself, no matter how many downsides that has, sort of. & I do Identify myself by the things I do, mostly because in doing something you have the opportunity to help someone. I try to do the right things, sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t but it’s a daily thing, y’know?

6. are you religious/spiritual?

Yah. You can see that with some of my answers but I am, though I know right now a lot of people assume that if you’re religious ( especially christian, on this site at least ) that it automatically means you’re this, this & this *insert any form of ism or phobic term* but that’s really not how it works. We’re all sinners & no matter what that still doesn’t change the way God feels about us ( no matter what, we, as humans think is sin, or sinful ) I could go on a lot about this topic, honestly it’s a big part of who I am. But personally, I love God, I have a personal relationship with him that I try to work on daily & grow with him daily, my God is all loving and I just wished more people my age, or at least people on here knew that?? I dunno, there’s just so much rhetoric surrounding Christianity & most of it is wrong & I just??? Mmmm I’m getting off topic but yes! I am! It’s like a huge part of what keeps me going, I love Jesus.

7. do you care about your ethnicity?

YES. Oh my Gosh yeah, okay well I’m white, lmao, but where I come from is still like, really important to me. It used to not be. I actually used to be kind of… not ashamed but embarrassed when my Mom did really dutch things. Like, ok backing up, My grandpa moved here from the Netherlands when he was in his early teens around the time that the holocaust happened, though I couldn’t give you the exact date because I’m hella forgetful but he came with his parents and he met my Grandma and u know the deal it goes down the line. But anyways I used to like, not like the things that came with being dutch, like, I just thought it was all stupid & silly, like clogs & doilies & stupid little things like my great grandma & grandpa always used to use forks & knives with everything because it was a custom where they came from & like, it’s all small things but over the years I’ve just learned to be really proud of where my family came from? My Grandpa went through a lot to come here, he saw a lot of things he never talked about and I didn’t know him well because I was young when he died but I just really love embracing my heritage there & stuff.

Like I’m white yes, and I’m basically a ‘mystery white’ ‘cause my dad is a mutt & my mom isn’t fully dutch either. I’m one of those 10% Irish 25% Hungarian 50% Dutch & 15% other type of whites, but??? I’m still proud of all of it?? Like I love learning about where I came from & who I am & I think everyone should be proud of all parts of their ethnicity. As Matthew Montgomery said: “ Love all your percentages. “

8. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

shiT fam, this is getting so long & it’s gonna get longer, okay let me just do like… two, tha two tops…

Demi Lovato: Obviously, I mean… obviously She is one of the people I look up to most and I don’t know where I would be if I never had her & her music in my life. She’s taught me so much about strength and confidence and overcoming something when it looks like it will be impossible. She’s helpped me grow into someone who cares & wants to learn & help others and I just admire her so much for what she’s done, for herself, for others and for never giving up when she could have. Not to mention the ballads that have helped me through really hard times, or the speeches she’s given that remind me I’m strong & capable

Taylor Swift: *que everyone groaning who’s reading* anYWAYS I can’t even honestly write down or explain how many times that Taylor and her music has helped me when I felt like I wanted to give up, or how many times I have cried listening to songs that should not have resonated with me but did. She’s helped me to realize not only that I am important but that no matter what, despite what people may do to me, or make me feel that I’m still important and worth working on. She’s also shown me what goofing off can do to make you feel better, how not giving a shit has helped me move on from past relationships and how being unapologetically ME is okay

In fact, I feel like Demi’s taught me those things too. But they’ve both done it in different ways, which I think shows how beautiful loving yourself can be. Because you don’t have to love yourself how another person loves themselves. You have to figure out your own, unique way to view yourself & believe in yourself & love yourself & I think that’s just really beautiful. Now, they both hate each other ( or at least severely dislike one another ) but I just feel like they’ve both done so much for me and I don’t think I could thank either of them enough for showing me strength, beauty, confidence and love in the way they have. It’s insane how much of an impact people can have but they have. I could go on but I woont I promise.

9. are you an artist?

YES I am, though my skill can be debated I love drawing when I’m in the mood & painting & jst everything that has to do with art.

10. do you have a creed?

I don’t know if this means religious, or… otherwise… but I mean, technically I’m a baptist christian ( i think? not sure anymore ) but like, I am Christian, I feel like, sadly, the beliefs I hold are a bit left leaning & less erm, strict? When it comes to how I interpret the bible, where as a my family is different, I think? I don’t know, but I just try to follow the teachings of Jesus & his disciples. “ Love others as I have loved you - John 15:12 “ I do go by other teachings but I think that’s the top of my list. Jesus loves us unconditionally, he died for us, lived for us, and rose again so we didn’t have to burn up in hell for eternity. The least I can do is show everyone the same kind of unconditional love he’s showed me throughout my life & make sure people know that though we do sin & are inherently bad at heart, he still loves us despite our downfalls and doubt. I don’t know if that really answers this question but I had to look up creed & this is the best answer I came up with SO, thank u for sending this in and I love u

#THIS GOT SO LONG OOPS #BUT THANK U BLESS U I LOVE MEMES #smilerpc #⌘ ||▷ тalĸ тo мe вaвy ▹▹ ( ▨ ' answered by me. )

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