#i just the fact i cant see all my apps at once

[magical-girl-04]

Am I aroace or have I just been awake too long?

[channiesposts]

hwang hyunjin nsfw alphabet

hyunjin was my first bias when i got into skz and i have such a soft spot for him 🫶🏼 and our bdays are so close together, so i’ll always be a lil delusional for him 🫶🏼 anyways, i was debating doing another nsfw alphabet and then i saw a comment that said smth abt doing this w hyunjin (my app hasn’t been working properly, im sorry i cant tag u :/) but i’ve been stressed so i started writing again lmaoo.

also!!! i mentioned it in my last one but for x (x ray - how big the person is), i’ll be changing it to smth else. i’m just not comfortable doing that. okok i’ve talked enough.

a - aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

hyunjin is the most romantic person ever. we can see that with some lyrics he’s written, his paintings, the way he talks. i truly feel like his aftercare reflects all of that as well. like bang chan, he’s there cleaning you up, making sure you’re hydrated, helping you get comfortable, talking to you in a soft voice and making sure you’re ok.

b - body part (their face body part of theirs & their partners)

iiii think, his fave body part of his is less a body sort and just is his height. he’s not one to particularly relish in how much bigger than you he is but he does love how much taller he is than you. he loves how your head rests on his chest when you hug him. he enjoys the fact that you have to tip toe to reach his lips. if we had to pick a body part, he loves his lips. on you, i feel as if he also loves your lips. loves kissing them, will look at them when you’re talking bc he loves the way you talk. obsessed. with. them. also loves your thighs.

c - cum (anything to do with cum)

will cum anywhere. on you, in you, maybe on his own hand, you get what i mean. but, he loves cumming right on your pussy. he will cum inside on most nights, will cum on your tits sometimes. but smth about fucking you, and pulling out to cum right on your pussy will only drive him wilder than he is. smth about it just fuels him to fuck you even harder.

d - dirty secrets

loves spitting in your mouth. there are some other skz members that i see being a part of the “filthy mouth spitters” and hyunjin is one of them. you two don’t usually have the whole “dom / sub” thing, but there are moments where he’ll be fucking you and make you open your mouth so he can see his spit go into it. honestly, i think he just loves fucking around with spit.

e - experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he’s not that experienced, but he has experience. when you two first started playing around, he knew the basics and a lil more. as time went on, you both learned and now he fucks you so well, you forget your own name.

f - favorite position

missionary. loves seeing your face, loves kissing you, loves seeing just how well he fucks you.

g - goofy (are they more serious in the moment or are they more humorous)

50/50. some nights it’s very romantic and passionate. some nights it’s just casual sex, with him cracking jokes sometimes.

h - hair (how well groomed are they?)

keeps himself clean. not fully but it’s clean.

i - intimacy (how are they during the moment? romantic aspect)

as mentioned before, he is so romantic. he will be telling you just how much he loves you, how you were made for him.

j - jack off

once in a while. on days he can’t see you and he needs you, all he does is think of you in that skirt he loves and suddenly his mind goes blank and his hand starts traveling on their own.

k - kink (one or more of their kinks)

blindfolding his partner / being blindfolded himself. smth about not being able to see what you’re about to do next and only relying on his other senses turns him on. he loves seeing you blindfolded as well. loves that you can turn your body over to him, and let him love you while you just lay back and enjoy.

l - location (favorite places to do the deed)

he loves shower sex. smth about it feels so intimate. especially in the morning. he will fuck you anywhere and everywhere, but something about touching you in the shower….

m - motivation (what turns them on and gets them going?)

really romantic moments. you can tell him you love him and he wants to drag you to bed. but he loves when you wear skirts as well. as mentioned earlier, he loves your thighs. anything that shows them off will definitely get him going.

n - NO (something they wouldn’t do, ever)

same w chan, will not do anything with piss. (someone said it was called golden showers, so he wouldn’t be into that). he’s also not into anything dangerous, so knife play, blood play, all of that. even in his toughest moments, he’ll be keeping it as safe as he can.

o - oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill)

loves giving. loves receiving. it’s a 50/50.

p - pace (are they fast or rough? slow and sensual?)

most nights, slow and sensual. he will be taking his time with you. he’s fast and rough sometimes but for the most part, he wants you both to fully enjoy the moment.

q - quickie (their opinion on quickies, how often)

not a fan of quickies. loves taking his time with you. he’ll only do quickies if he’s insanely desperate. even then, he’s promising you that when he comes home that night, he’ll make sure to love you properly.

r - risks (will they experiment? do they take risks?)

i feel like this is also a 50/50. sometimes he’s down to take risks but sometimes he just wants to be with you the way he’s been doing before. but, when he does take risks, he wants you to take them (meaning, he’s the “test subject”). and then he’ll decide if he wants to do with you or not.

s - stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

bro is a dancer. he has STAMINA. will go for hours, if you let him. he’ll only tap out when he feels like you need a break. like he says, he could fuck you forever.

t - toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he has like one toy for himself. he loves using your toys on you though. wants to see how long you last with the toys vs the real thing.

u - unfair (how much they like to tease)

he has days where he will tease you and you’ll want nothing more than for the floor to open up and swallow you whole bc of how much you need him. he‘ll ghost his lips over every inch of you, only telling you the things he has planned for you. will not let you cum until he feels like you’ve reached your limit.

v - volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

he’s loud. you’re loud. you’re both loud. he’s not afraid to vocalize how good you make him feel. will be moaning, will let out a whimper here and there. a whole lot of groaning. but what can he do? you feel so good, he wants you to know that.

w - wild card

hyunjin has hidden away the part of him that dirty talks and degrades but sometimes, he’ll come out. he’ll be saying the most out of pocket things to you, and you don’t wanna admit how much more you need him when he does that. he’ll have 3 fingers, knuckles deep in you and will be saying the filthiest things right by your ear. will tell you you’re a slut for him, nothing hit a cocksleeve, his own personal cum dump. but he says it out of love <3

x - xtra piece of imagination

he loves seeing you touch yourself. multiple lights, he’ll ask you to lay in front of him while he sits in a chair a bit further away. he’ll ask you to touch yourself the way you like. he says that, but will be guiding you through it. he’ll be taunting you, saying how your fingers aren’t long enough to make you feel as good his fingers do.

y - yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

relatively high. he’s still relatively young, so it’s gonna be a little higher. and he has you around, and when he’s in love, any little thing will go straight down.

z - zzz (how quickly they fall asleep after)

fast sleeper. sometimes you’ll be staring at the ceiling and you’ll turn around to see him passed out. he wakes up a bit earlier though, and will always (attempt) to make you breakfast in bed <3

[sergeifyodorov]

Connor for the send me a character ask 👀

FIRST IMPRESSION

Have to preface this with the fact that I was really into baseball six or seven years ago when mcdavo was winning art ross number like. One or two. This was about 2016 or 2017 and i had the thescore app and I was looking at their simple ranked stats because i was bored, and instead of staring at the baseball ones over and over again I poked around on the other sports. I was not yet a leafs fan (born and raised in toronto so like, you support the leafs, but i wasn’t what i am now) and i looked at the points rankings and there was this annoying little orange background man in first. He had a nice 100 points and nobody else had that. And I was annoyed because I didn’t like that this Edmontonian fucker was doing better than anyone else. In retrospect it is very funny that my Oilers Hate Campaign is older than my actual hockey fandom.

IMPRESSION NOW

I have a lot of thoughts about Connor. I strongly disagree with the boring-sayers. He is not boring; he’s stiff and bland on camera out of both intention and The Tism and clearly has a lot actually going on once the panopticon is looking away (oxymoron statement but u know). Obviously he’s best in the world type whatever beat but thats like. The least interesting thing abt him. Dude is SO haunted it’s like you took a good portion of the sort of hockey curse an entire team typically develops and then dropped it right on his head like some sort of cartoon piano. But he is blissfully oblivious to the genre and is tragically determined to power through. 

I think he’s kind of spineless ultimately and this is what makes him say such vanilla things and let himself get so thoroughly and obviously managed by lk1 and stuff. but also that he is very single-minded and knows what he wants and is unafraid to pursue that at the cost of neglecting everything else in his life. Which is a pretty self-destructive habit when you have curses and whatnot but again, completely unaware of that, so he’s just barreling head-on towards the void, head down skates pumping

His edges are decent but he’s a speed skater by trade far more than a figure skater… jason brown could win 5 art rosses but connor mcdavid could NEVER do riverdance!!!

Completely unrelated to my thoughts on connor at all but the endless font of ohl bodies and the churning mill of eteri girls. It’s the same it’s all the same

FAVOURITE MOMENT

don’t say mccheatgate it’s not worth it--

In all honesty. Either Connor mc lukewarm gay rights statement, the adorable little standbyme video at the draft where it’s him n mitch and dylan and none of them can really sing and they’re all so obviously terrified but trying to cheer each other up bad, or that one ad where they’ve dolled him up and made him act. And he’s like beach chair lounging in the middle of the ice and stuff

IDEA FOR STORY

i think the most ideal thing narratively to happen to davo is Catastrophe. like we all know he has this very rigid and unquestioned worldview because he has never bothered to really look outside what the nhl straighttrack/lauren kyle has planned for him it’s most compelling to just. completely upend that

mccareer changing injury is a good one but ive already seen that one said. i do have this scrap of 9734 floating around thats like. leon gets fridged and he cant live with oilerhood after that so he goes the 1 other place he can stomach himself being (torono) and then falls in deeply toxic-homoerotic-codependency love with am34. and obviously is forced to reconsider his entire worldview about the ticking clock and the impermanency of life and grief and curses and haunting because damn leo you’re supposed to be dead why do i keep seeing u everywhere etc. it is important for my NARRATIVES that mcdavid is widowed and/or divorced

UNPOPULAR OPINION

i realize this one in context to the last sentence makes it look like i hate drai. I do not hate drai drai is the best oiler and his only competition is nuge. That being said.

I had a friend (knows nothing about hockey) and she thinks that connor is hotter than draisaitl. And like. I don’t completely agree. But i mostly do agree. very shallow of me yes i know but davo is CUTE and his cringefail ghost swag is kinda HOT and the long hair/mcjesus flow was SEXY

FAV RELATIONSHIP

bobby orr is a family friend and he knows wayne gretzky quite well because of oilersness and stuff. so im going to say his relationship with All That Came Before is my favourite

2997 close second tho. Get more divorced

FAV HEADCANON

the tism is kind of verging on the nebulously canon but like. Im not going to formally diagnose a man i dont know and enjoy sexualising on the internet so it’s getting put in here

[stillmonsterz]

god i love u fr

anw so— birds of a feather quite literally fucked up my day (in a good way) like im so invested into this story and im just in awe of the level of literacy in the way u write and im kinda taking some notes and learning from u in a way?? i mean that in a very appreciative way and i think ur genuinely one of a kind absolutely gem writer on this app like i could go on and on abt the way you write your characters and their chemistry w each other like ugh im eating it up im so full

so onto the actual fic, WHAT THE FUCK RIKI?? when i catch u riki istg, my heart SANK at that last part like i knew something was up bc he hasn't caused anything in a while and that was like a bullet sized dagger straight through my heart jfc. he had me all bamboozled and im actually feeling rage at the way mc showed vulnerability to him only to be backstabbed by him and now he's like dragging her w a noose around her neck— it's insane how he immediately dismissed mc and jumped the gun at how she could only be lying like that part just made him go from my fav character to my most loathed character. also suddenly the few mentions of riki being 'cute and evil' compared to everyone else makes so much sense, and tbh i don't trust that he'd stay quiet abt those ss he's just gonna be bored and leak them after a while i feel like.

oh and i cant forget abt the jay scene in the hotel GOD i had such a viceral emotional reaction to every dialogue they said— my brain is thoroughly jumbled, a smut scene on ecstasy could never compare to the gut wrenching situationship break up that was. if i may be honest, jay's a pussy lmao wdym you can't be wrong and admit you're not even half as bad as u thought lol anw he's going straight into the complicated men box. sorry that was me trying to cope w the fact that all of the progress jay and mc made was just gone like that and it's all back to square one now, i can't deal w that loss rn im fr mourning over it. there's just a lot to say abt that scene it might be my all time favorite piece of fanfic i've read in my life, im losing my mind at the contrast between mc wanting to savor the moment and make it last longer while jay's trying to get it over with bc i know that he knows if he takes as much time as he'd like, he'd actually realize he loves her and that's just too much of big boy feelings for him (im bullying him too much bc im so sour rn)

also the reveal w jake dealing w addiction was eye opening, like now im rethinking back to all the times he's been fidgety and including that recent scene w mc when he comes out of the restrooms, god i was dying for the mc to just get in there and ivestigate around BUT SHE DIDN'T im so pissed. jake's definitely shown some cracks in this part and i can't wait to see him be vulnerable to mc and be honest for once, he's hiding too much and i still don't trust him i can't lie.

and i think we might be only skimming the surface w the other members, i weirdly adore sunoo lmao he's such a cryptid being, and tbh the only good thing that came out of this was sunghoon and lily being a maybe healthy couple, i love love that scene w him and lily it's such a sweet and cute moment in between all the shit mc's digging herself in lmao. i don't think i have an opinion on heeseung yet other than he obviously cares for his members, or at least the kc's reputation, and has his bearings together enough to tell the mc straight up abt all of that. also jungwon.... why do i hear boss music.... LMAO but honestly the bit where it mentioned that he got shit on everyone combined w the ending had me clawing at the walls, he's gonna be important later on and im feeling the nerves crawl up my spine even though he's never shown up once in this part, im that scared of him 😭

im terrified at what's to come, like actual dread on if riki's abt to spill everything to jay and if jay will find out and— this is too overwhelming and my mind's so cluttered lol. anw im not gonna speculate anything rn for my health but im gonna write this last paragraph in appreciation for the way you write morally gray characters, like just completely blown away by how complex and unpleasant they were written, and i mean unpleasant bc i fr know some ppl who'd act this way, it's bone chilling. granted not to the extent these characters are but it's still enough to take me back into the headspace and social circle in my younger years, just the deep regret crashing all over me again lol. not to say this was horrible no no quite the exact opposite this is the most fun and absorbed i've got from a fic in a long time, this left such an impression on me that it sneaks into the back of my mind all the time, which amplifies everytime i open this app just to scroll and i always unconsciously search ur user to see if you've updated or not.

last one i promise, thank u sm for writing this fic and all ur other fics, i know and i can tell when a writer has literacy in their heart ur up there w my forever favorites. can't wait to see it all unfolds and im hoping the mc have some sort of a good ending, fingers crossed 🥲 (sorry for this wall of text also lol)

Putting my answer under a read-more

First of all, please don't apologize for sending large asks like this. I honestly love it when people have a lot of things to say about my works. It makes me feel as though I've created something rich enough that it can be discussed.

like im so invested into this story and im just in awe of the level of literacy in the way u write and im kinda taking some notes and learning from u in a way??

Thank you so much for this...I think I can attribute this to me reading. I read almost every day, and I only read things that I enjoy.

also suddenly the few mentions of riki being 'cute and evil' compared to everyone else makes so much sense, and tbh i don't trust that he'd stay quiet abt those ss he's just gonna be bored and leak them after a while i feel like.

I sort of wanted to emphasize that anyone who would join the Karma Club would inherently be predisposed to doing horrible things for their own enjoyment. Also, as in real life, sometimes the nicest people can do horrible things. People are far more contradictory than we give them credit for. That being said, no spoilers on what he'll do with the screenshots. It's been fascinating to see the revulsion towards Riki's actions compared to what Jay has done to the MC.

if i may be honest, jay's a pussy lmao wdym you can't be wrong and admit you're not even half as bad as u thought lol anw he's going straight into the complicated men box. sorry that was me trying to cope w the fact that all of the progress jay and mc made was just gone like that and it's all back to square one now, i can't deal w that loss rn im fr mourning over it.

If it makes you feel any better, they aren't really at square one. Square one was Jay harassing her nonstop because he truly was disgusted by her, in as equal measure as he was fascinated by her. Like he said, he now doesn't even know if he hates her anymore. So even though it seems like they've gone to the beginning, this is new territory for both of them. Jay is a huge pussy, though. He calls Jake a pussy, but Jake has made more genuine attempts to get close to Y/N than him LOL

god i was dying for the mc to just get in there and ivestigate around BUT SHE DIDN'T im so pissed. jake's definitely shown some cracks in this part and i can't wait to see him be vulnerable to mc and be honest for once, he's hiding too much and i still don't trust him i can't lie.

It's good that you don't trust him. At that point, Heeseung had already told Y/N to just be nice to Jake, so she didn't want to bother him. Heeseung essentially told her that she was part of the reason why Jake relapsed, so she doesn't want to toe the line.

i don't think i have an opinion on heeseung yet other than he obviously cares for his members, or at least the kc's reputation, and has his bearings together enough to tell the mc straight up abt all of that. also jungwon.... why do i hear boss music.... LMAO but honestly the bit where it mentioned that he got shit on everyone combined w the ending had me clawing at the walls

No spoilers, but Jungwon will come into play. Something happened in the earlier part of birds of a feather that will have an effect on what happens in Part 3.

im gonna write this last paragraph in appreciation for the way you write morally gray characters, like just completely blown away by how complex and unpleasant they were written, and i mean unpleasant bc i fr know some ppl who'd act this way, it's bone chilling. granted not to the extent these characters are but it's still enough to take me back into the headspace and social circle in my younger years, just the deep regret crashing all over me again lol.

Thank you so much! And yeah, I definitely drew from my high school experience for some of this. The only other time I've ever done that is for Tired of What We Are, and I think you can see some of the parallels. Not to say that fluff is unnecessary (I do plan on writing something cute) but it's just fun to play round with people who are morally questionable, and who revel in their bad traits at times. Not so fun to experience it yourself, though.

thank u sm for writing this fic and all ur other fics, i know and i can tell when a writer has literacy in their heart ur up there w my forever favorites. can't wait to see it all unfolds and im hoping the mc have some sort of a good ending, fingers crossed

Thank you so so much. I took a long time to answer this because I wanted to keep this ask to myself. Whenever someone sends me a longer ask, I read it over and over again. I wanted to hold onto it for as long as possible. I really do love writing fics, and I'm grateful that people are willing to read them. Thank you for all of the kind words you've written, and for taking the time to read my fic!

[bkgkiss]

finally an intro post!

hello!!! ive finally decided to make an intro post.. its a miracle. my name is oisín (pronounced osh-een), but you can also call me mavey or will! im 19 years old and i use mirror pronouns. mirror pronouns means i want you to use your own pronouns on me! if you do not do that, masc terms and pronouns are preferred.

this will mainly be a blog dedicated to my artwork! im in various fandoms, but most importantly, my hero academia, milgram, kuroshitsuji, alien stage, and love live! i will be posting fandom related content, hcs, and ocs for everything listed, and maybe for some other sources hehe

while these posts will be rare, i am part of a did system and i may post about that from time to time. this is also a strict message saying endogenic systems or supporters are not welcome.

eventually, once this blog is much more active and full of content, i will add a list of my ocs here for easy navigation! for now, know i have two relevant ocs. conrí, a kuroshitsuji reaper oc, and chiyo, a my hero academia hero oc! their posts are towards the bottom of my page :) i will post about them frequently because my ocs are so special to me LOL

DNI / BYF

now its time for the insanely annoying but very necessary section of info.. yay :/

starting with my DNI, obviously basic dni. if youre going to be an asshole, my blog is not the place for it. as previously mentioned, endogenic systems or supporters are not welcome. proshippers and especially s*baciel shippers are nottt welcome, i am extremely strict on that. i find content related to it immensely upsetting. other than that, just dont be weird and id love to have you on my page!

as for my BYF, please be aware that i am disabled and severely visually impaired. i may take long unannounced breaks due to the fact that drawing and sitting in the same position for long periods of time often causes my chronic pain to flair up. i also will make frequent spelling mistakes or swap words with other words because of my visual impairment. it makes it somewhat difficult to see what im typing. i try my best to correct it when it happens, but if i dont, ask for clarification and i will explain! i am autistic and this makes it difficult for me to text others because i cant exactly read the situation accurately and determine how i should respond. id love to make friends on here, but be aware i will leave you on read for periods of time. ill eventually respond, please be patient!

other info

to finish this off im just gonna yap :3 if u read all this, thank you!!

i am relatively new to tumblr and im not yet adjusted to how this app really works. please be patient with me! to be entirely honest, my main reason for making an account was to see what my lovely sister posts LOL

if you think im totally freaking awesome and would like to be friends, just let me know!!! spins around

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

drop the lore for your song !

(insert "sorry i put this in drafts and immediately forgot about it" cake here. sorry i put this in drafts and immediately forgot about it!!!)

okay so first i guess we should probably drop the lyrics, theyre on bandlab but also who give a shit. here you go:

-and you sit there like youre some starry-eyed god

asking for sacrifice, knowing what i lost

and what can i do but follow you?

i made you my temple, just follow through

and your honor, you sit and stare as i stand witness

to this man burning everything i love down with this building

and from the ashes his eyelash comes falling, i make a wish

it wont ever come true but ill make him pray it did

and god, my god i would follow you to death

you know this so you hold a blunt knife to my neck

i am more than just your satisfactions and regrets

but you are less than i thought, you are less and you're not even worth it

i am breathing just a little and calling it a life

you are walking in the wild with a mass market knife

and it feels so juvenile to talk it all through

we are teenagers at battle, we are always coming true

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW YOU COULD NOT HAVE SAVED ME?

AND DO YOU BELIEVE IN EVERYTHING YOU SEE ON THE NEWS

CAUSE YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW THAT ALL KIDS DO IS LOSE EVENTUALLY.

I HATE THAT YOU COULDNT SAVE ME.

that must mean im stronger.

you said you would protect me.

but im like ocean water.

and youre like twenty three!

so i choose now between honesty and dignity

and i cannot worship a god i cant believe

yeah i tore my palms down your altar

for war, blood must taste sweet

i dont know what to do to make you believe that im insane

you made me, made me you, made me who i am

no you didnt make me, i made me, you were just a tool

ill say anything so ill sleep the whole night through

first piece of lore: i did in fact write this in tumblr drafts. people tend to not believe me when i tell them but notes app is far too open. tumblr drafts is for the arteries. also the sense of danger from my drafts being cleared or my account being deleted (which happened) keeps me on my toes.

second piece of lore: this is less of a song and more of a conglomeration of words i thought go together good. i didnt really have a plan for this as i was writing it, it sort of formed the image and story it has as i wrote and only when i was "done" (the song isnt complete but im done writing it for now) did i have it completely. my sister said the phrase "starry-eyed god" and i ran from there! i was kind of toying with the idea of being hurt by someone who doesnt really believe they are harming you, and sort of falling across that line all the time of are they really innocent or are they playing innocent.

i also liked the idea of being so in love with someone that you'd worship them, not understanding that that isnt love, its obsession. lots of misunderstandings and insanity in this bad boy.

this is also definitely the ending half of the song. in my recording the end is a little fucked because, third piece of lore, i accidentally slammed my hand on the table out of passion and spent the rest of the song trying not to cry in pain. why did i push through, you may ask. why didnt i just stop and rerecord in a minute. well im something of an artiste (idiot)

that bit on "what can i do but follow you/i made you my temple just follow through" where im high and singing almost reverently is what i want more of the beginning to sound like. for this section we have more of those divine chorus vibes peeking through every once in a while, so the beginning will have this almost spoken desperate vibe peeking through, but majority of that high angel voice for most of it.

okay this is already long so im gonna stop here with general lore -- if you want me to go through the lyrics as well and talk about that, i am more than happy to!! lyrics are my favorite parts of a song, especially writing-wise, so i would love that actually. some of the lyrics in this are inspired by poetry so its pretty fun to look back and see.

thank you for asking!! i love you sm <33

[oofsims]

i can’t hold it in anymore

pedro pascal is fucking unnatractive I am so tired of all my favorite tags being filled with pedro pascal porn. I have heard the phrase “daddy pascal” multiple fucking times its so fuckig weird for people to act shamelessly horny in public for a man thatms MID. HES FUCKING UGLLYYYYYYYY. HE IS NOT CUTTEEEE. AND IM TIRED OF HOLDING IT IN I CANT GO ANYWHERE ONLINE WITHOUT SEEING SOME WEIRD FUCK. SAYING HE’S HOT IN TIREDDDDD. he is not fuckibg attractive. in fact he is quite funny looking. I HAVE THE WORDS PEDRO PASCAL MUTED. I have muted the TAG “Pedro Pascal” — everytime I look up my favorite game on this app??????? Pedro Pascal 🌽. Pedro pascal p3n!!$. Cannot escape it. I am in a fandom where I can’t escape this fugly nigga. a once flourishing fandom gentrified by horny teens inexplicably obsessed with some old guy. imagine if some 15 year old pointed out some random middle aged man on the side of the street and said “he’s so daddy pls impregnate me babygirl uwu” — you would think something was fucking wrong with them but i live with these people EVERY DAY. I will not disclose what fandom im in (although its obvious) because those fuckers will attack me for not worshipping their ugly ass god but lets just say while I enjoy the tv show adaptation, I am in this shit FOR THE VIDEO GAME. and I STRUGGLE to find people who don’t just post about how hot pedro pascal is all day.

its great that actors who don’t fit the beauty standard are getting opportunities I guess? idk

[kaisfoxhoard]

artwork by me

i wanted to make my first post something cool but all i came up with was this rant about the social media platform i called my home for 6 years.

**a rant**

im finding dark patterns on instagram that dont appeal to me and that i cant support. the entire platform is geared towards shortform content and keeping you on the platform for as long as possible. thus the platform drives away small artists and does not give them a chance to grow

1. dark patterns consist of things such as: updating the app and making small changes that nobody asked for, removing the ability to see every post under a hashtag, and reels taking you down unintentional rabbit holes.

ive always been annoyed by recommended reels on your home page taking you off of your home page and sending you into the reels page. i am in belief that your home page should be a static area that is full of things you’d expect to see there such as posts from people you follow. when a reel takes you out of your home page, its very intrusive and i often find myself getting lost down this rabbit hole for 30 minutes and feeling annoyed after realizing what had happened.

when i recently found out that you cant view recent posts under a hashtag, i was absolutely pissed. its a direct attack against small artists and people who want to look for commissions of maybe an artist with a not-so-popular style. or even cheap coms. if i cant find these smaller artists and support them, how can we expect a community to grow and prosper. how can i expect to grow from a hashtag directly. at that point why even bother with putting a hashtag.

2.with the rise of short form content, artists have had to find new ways to gain reach from their posts. naturally, art in of itself doesnt have great video content, as its a picture. while one could argue this creates competitive creativity and drives someone to think outside the box, it ultimately harms and deters new artists from giving it a go, because it requires more time devoted to the entertaining part of the content than the actual artwork being created. most short form content is designed to generate a quick laugh and maybe a like and follow. when artists cant do that, because they want a specific aesthetic to their art, lack of interaction between community and artist may drive their passion dry.

with the fact that instagram is now more geared towards short videos and not photos like it once used to be, the chances of success as an artist is becoming scarce. theres a loss of close knit community that was once present.

thats what i hope to achieve here. i want to bring back that community feeling that we all once felt. i dont make art all too often anymore because instagram has killed my desire to make and create. i want to see awesome art. thats about it. when i create stuff i want atleast a little bit of attention. i dont want to feel like something i spent hours of my time making, flopped.

if ur still reading this…. thanks

i hope its made you realize that, wow. we all waste so much time on reels, and tiktoks too. to me, the short form content just doesnt sit well with me. i want to be enthralled in whatever im engaged with. lets make a cool community together! thankyou artists!

[the1975attheirverybest]

As a Taylor swift fan… I understand a bit why people are “missing” Matty. I joined the 1975 fandom right when he left social media, so I don’t know what Matty used to be like with fans… but it sounds similar to Taylor.

She used to have fans over to her house, let them listen to her albums at big house parties, do surprise meet and greets, and be super active on social media. But then she stopped. But not because she wanted to… because she had to. It was starting to become both a safety issue and a mental health issue.

Because like it or not, if you’re logging into instagram every day to talk to your fans… you’re also gonna see other stuff. Like hate, body shaming, and rumors about you. And it messed Taylor up. She famously tells this story where she was in such a bad place mentally because of her Instagram/Twitter use that Joe snuck on her phone and deleted all her apps. She was pissed at him, but like 2 days later she realized how much better she felt.

It’s just… a fact…. That once you get to a certain level of fame, it’s a trade off. You CANT be super personal anymore. And If you try and push through and do it anyway, it’ll destroy you.

Another example is that this tour, Taylor isn’t doin any meet and greets. A lot of fans were really mad at her about that.. but like what is her other option? At this point she is SO famous that the security and safety is a big concern… but also she’s playing three hours. Do we really expect her to be up til like 1 am meeting fans? Sure… for a small artist that might be no big deal, but the bigger you get, the more complicated simple tasks can be.

My point is… what Matty is currently doing is very typical of many other celebrities, and I don’t think it means he’s stopped caring about us. I think he’s just reached a bit of a breaking point and he needs a break, to try something new. Maybe he’ll come back once he’s feeling better… but maybe he won’t. Maybe he will decide that in order to stay sane he needs to put a little bit of separation between his life and his job. And I don’t think he deserves to lose fans for that.

- 🔆

Yeah, I remember Taylor’s active days on tumblr even and how she used to do vlogs too. Some of them are on YouTube I think so you can even see what she was like. And it’s a real fact that people were awful to her especially when she first got famous.

Y’all can correct me, but, am I right in thinking that Matty’s interactions were kinda different? Like he had a different approach. Maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know.

And to be fair, I don’t think he’s stopped caring at all. He’s Matty. All he does is care, lmao. So, he can’t have made that decision easily, I’m sure. And that man’s love for the fans is so clear. SO SO clear. I think we’re just mostly sad that the band’s relationship to the fandom is changing.

[collectionoftulips]

hi! it's me! (once again, I'm so sorry if this is long or stupid, just feel free to ignore it!)

first of all, i dont know if it is intentional or if it is something that just grows out of you as you write further chapters, but i feel that these last chapters are more... intimate? i mean, they *feel* more intimate for us readers (or at least me). and it's so cool that as they begin trusting each other more and more, their relationship building up, so does the writing style. it's a bit magic, actually ✨

i would give my life for gregory and hyacinth in this fic, no questions asked. their support to anthony!!! i mean obviously the family is supportive, but something about the way they are so hyped warms my heart. and on the same line, i can already see hy and kate watching kate's old performances and kate helping her and becoming her role model, somehow (and anthony obviously melting at the sight of this)

also i feel like anthony every chapter when the new dance style is mentioned, searching on youtube. i know zero about dances so it is always fun and interesting to learn!!

i dont know what else to say, appart from that i love this fic and im always thinkin "oh i want to read the next one" and become frustrated when i just cant because of time. but it makes me happy to see the update email! and i find myself thinking of scenes througout my day

and... quotes time!!

"The lack of memory was not immediately apparent, but rather something that only became clear once he tried to backtrack his steps, there was just… nothing" im not going to lie, this sentence and at the beginning really scared me, i thought that he might have messed it up

"It wasn’t so much that he could remember seeing her, only that he could recall being aware of her." i GASPED. i don't know why, because it is actually not that huge, but this sentence really screams that he *likes* her, he *notices* her

"He told himself that there was something good about the fact that she waited by the door, holding it for him, instead of running in the other direction. That it was normal for the pang of affection that warmed his heart to be there as they stood almost near enough that he could smell the lilies of what he suspected was her hair conditioner." okay, this one is long but my sweet bean trying to convince himself that the pang is normal! oh sweetie

"The judges only saw a snapshot of his dancing, Kate saw everything, all the flaws and mistakes as well as the small progresses, and if she thought he could do this - who was he to disagree?" + "The certainty she expressed by stating this fact was almost enough to quell Anthony’s doubts" he trusts her so much and he is so moved by her trust, i could cry

"It was just dancing, Anthony knew that, but he couldn’t help but wonder if it didn’t feel a little bit like magic." just, screaming. that's it

and that final quote... my boy is flling fast!!

once again, thank you thank you thank you for this fic! im sorry if this is messy or has typos but im writing on the notes app so that i dont forget anything, just fresh out of the reading. anyway, thank you and have a great day! ❤️❤️💕

It is not long or 'stupid' in the slightest - don't apologise. I am just sorry it's taken me ages to respond. I blame the cold I had though, which seems to have robbed the concept of time from me entirely. I really love these asks I get, they genuinely make my day.

I'm so glad you feel like the chapters are growing gradually more intimate - it was definitely something I was hoping to convey with the progression of each chapter and each stage of the competition. I'm so thrilled you like it ❤️

I love writing Hyacinth and Gregory in this story. I also find their unwavering support for Anthony's endeavours really endearing and hopefully this most recent chapter that I just posted gives some extra context as to why and hints a bit more clearly at the type of relationship they have with him.

I don't know anything about these dances either and I actually look up some of the basic steps on YouTube and learn some vague rules for each dance to help me write it a bit better, and it's so much fun.

Genuinely, thank you so much for these asks, they are so sweet and kind ❤️ Been feeling a bit iffy about my writing recently and this helps me a lot not being all like 'I'm just gonna throw in the towel because clearly my writing is meh'. So thank you ❤️

[kisssssessssssyj]

next week i finally have my very first psychiatrist appointment. It‘s mainly so I can get my meds prescribed (I‘m living off of scraps rn it feels like) but I really feel like I have a bunch to talk about.

kinda tw//death, sa, knifes and all that shit I dont wanna have this all open 😭

We can start with the fact that I‘m still super depressed from my mom‘s death, so sad I haven‘t even processed my grandma’s death yet. I still often feel like she‘s still alive I just dont see her as much.

Then my emmetophobia definetly, this phobia forbids me from eating on some days. I have frequent panic attacks when I‘m outside trying to meet people.

adding to that, I dont have any friends. I try to meet ppl irl and I get a panic attack and just leave, that is super embarrassing. I also get bullied at school even tho I‘m a fucking adult idk how that keeps happening to me.

then i need to recover from being sa‘d multiple times, thats something I havent even told many people cuz I‘m actually kinda embarrassed of it all :// I hate that I am

I also need to recover from that year long friendship that ended cuz my friend has a disorder she cant control. I‘m so sad she left my life even tho she has been the girl that came at me with a knife once. I know her diagnosis and I know so much about her that makes me think there is so much more. I wish she was still my friend and I wish we could ever find a way to match again

I especially need to learn how to trust people, anyone nice to me I feel like is just there to backstab me, like when classmates outed me as jewish infront of my classe‘s neo nazi. I‘m always scared to post on the internet cuz I think people will know its me.

actual intrusive thoughts haunt me, not those „oh lemme throw my sandwich at him“ but holding a knife is so scary to me cuz what if I accidentally stab someone??? adding to that I have this thing that when my wrists and neck arent coverd I feel so anxious (??) I‘ve had this since elementary school, it‘s kinda the only thing i remember from my time then but, when I dont wear a watch or a turtleneck i have to cover my wrists and neck because i literally feel like I‘m about to die. (it‘s not a constant thing but definitely often)

i dont sh anymore or have any thoughts of wanting to die and that I‘m very proud of but those arent the only symptoms of any disorder. I‘ve only ever been diagnosed with adhd, (dyslexia and dyscalculia) and depression but I know there is way more, especially do I think that I have autism since my symptoms go beyond just adhd.

now on a happier note and talking about adhd, my friend thinks he has adhd aswell (no diagnosis but me with my knowledge can definitely tell) and he talks about not wanting to take meds or anything, not cuz he feels like they’re bad or anything but because he has found a work place where he can work just like that and doesnt need that help of meds, I kinda felt like sharing cuz I‘m proud of him :3 thats my goal in life, finding a job in which I can work without any sort of meds <3

this was a long ass talk that could also be put in a diary but eh I’m not buying one and notes app is reserved for actual important things (like school work and appointments) tumblr is my personal diary.

thinking about it, I should maybe buy a diary and also write in it in German so I dont loose my skills (dyslexia affects mostly German for some reason I’m pretty good at English writing)

so i talked wayyyyyy too much but idc, if you read it all which i doubt cuz no one is on my blog, lmk cuz ily🙏😔😍

[m1ckeyb3rry]

AWWW the feeling’s mutual!! Tumblr wavelength besties fr!! Also I think ive mentioned this before but my acc is so barren so even if you followed me you’d be getting a load of nothing LMFAOO contemplating if I should just straight up revamp the account and actually use it for something besides reading and talking via asks but I’m kinda lazy LOL

And FR!!! I just try to stay away from the fandoms and whatever LMAO although I’ll admit I usually see some AITA posts reposted on insta or TikTok and they’re sometimes really entertaining HAHAHA

I’m ngl I think I’m probably also the main perpetrator of the Karasu req feed LMAOOO but definitely!! I think once people see that you actually even KNOW of Karasu they usually assume you’re probably familiar with the other side characters too like eitaken hiori kaiser etc.

I just saw the color page and ego lowk cooking?? I laughed so hard though I saw one post of it and someone commented “who are these nobodies??” And op replied “THE COACHES” LMFAOOOOOOO

It’s actually insane I think we’re just a wonder of the universe between liking the same people and having manifestation powers atp…..but YESS YONA OF THE DAWN>>>> I actually loved it sm that I went and read the manga imagine my disappointment when I found out it was MONTHLY I mean no wonder why the art quality was so good but I kept losing track of when it actually came out shshshshsj no because fandom is DEAD like where’s everyone at???? Honestly yeah considering how well the manga typically does im surprised they haven’t taken the opportunity to capitalize off of it and continue animating it???? What a shame smh

LMAOOO it’s funny because I also had bllk recommended to me by a friend and at first it was really casual but then they were like you should go read so I said ok (little did I know I’d fall down the rabbit hole….tbf I should’ve seen it coming because the same friend told me to read the jjk and demon slayer manga and once I read the manga there’s no going back LMAOO)

You’ll always be the OG Karasu nation ceo and founder!! Truly no one else doing it like you do!!! Actually I’m kinda worried about his fanon version because from what I’ve seen people already throw him into the same boat as kuroo from hq and according to what I’ve seen the mischaracterization is WILD it’s like your typical fboy shithead and I’m like oh…..so yeah I can imagine it’d be something along the lines of that LMAOO and just imagine when his questionable lines get animated oh boy

Wait that’s so funny I would never have the balls to comment on a dudebro’s post LMAOO what did he say???? I’m crying at the Barou fan categorization SO TRUE THOUGH like no um I’m not talking about muscle man gym rat bench press Barou…..

LMFAOAOA STOP THE TONGUE I CANT BUT FR kaneshiro better watch out we’re coming for his job….

THE FACT THAT THE MOM CAME THJNKING IT WAS A DATE???? BRO…….omg wait that’s kind a crazy scenario though you liking his best friend but his mom still tries to set you guys up that’s wild……LMAO the parent excuse is so real though but omg that’s a struggle fr…..um I’m assuming your dinner plans are cancelled now though HAHA

-Karasu anon

HAHAHA that’s so real though omg finding a niche to use your tumblr blog for can be so difficult…for a while i just used this acct to answer asks abt my fics so i literally had like. 20 followers or smth for the LONGEST time!! it wasn’t until i started posting my writing on here that i began to use the app more and get more followers as a result 😩 if you ever do decide to revamp/do smth with your blog lmk i will jump in line to follow and reblog everything you post 🫡

reddit aita posts with minecraft parkour in the background ARE my guilty pleasure LMAOAAO i let the tiktokers/instagrammers sift through and bring me only the best of the reddit posts for my viewing pleasure so i don’t have to go through all of the shitty ones

PLSSS you started a movement fr!! although it’s funny actually your request for fwtkac was actually sent within fifteen minutes of the request for white butterfly…like no joke i stepped out of the shower (why is this the second shower mention i have made today) and was like “oh two new requests…A KARASU REQUEST 😱🤩😏⁉️” so that’s kind of funny LMAO i forget which one came first ngl i’m p sure it was the hiori one but i ended up answering you first because i reallyyyyy wanted to write for karasu and i figured the time difference wasn’t enough that it would matter who i answered first 😭 so yeah that’s a really random coincidence maybe it’s because i wrote for kaiser?? but ngl he’s pretty popular too…maybe it’s because i don’t have a character list that i’ll write for because i know a lot of my mutuals who take requests only do so for certain characters meanwhile over here it’s a free for all as long as i’m into the fandom

HELP MEEE HOW DOES ONE NOT KNOW THE COACHES 😭😭😭 ego lowkey slaying…he heard we were considering writing a fic for him and had to lock in rq 😩

we are a literal glitch in the matrix…once in a lifetime matchup fr!! but YESSS omg i never got around to reading the manga unfortunately but the show was sooo good and i just love yona as a fmc (plus shinah is the most majestic gorgeous amazing man)!! I ALWAYS WISH THEY WOULD ANIMATE IT MORE hoping for a fruits basket style return for it (not that i’ve watched fruba but i feel like everyone knows abt its random comeback HAHA) okay wait side note idk if you saw my response to that one ask but why does zantetsu look EXACTLY LIKE HAK??? HELLO??? i need itoshi bros simps to hop on zantetsu yukimiya and karasu IMMEDIATELY they are the true romance novel/anime/drama male leads of bllk forget abt rinnie!!

NOOO FREE KARASU FROM THE FBOY RED FLAG ALLEGATIONS honestly he could pull it off better than itoshi bros certain characters but come onnnm otoya and aiku are right there meanwhile karasu still remembers his crush from when he was 8 😓 leave my baby alone…i’m going to have to work overtime to clear his name (honestly though i am expecting it to happen because if fandom can make SEISHIRO NAGI of all characters into a cheater than they can do anything)

HAHAH omg pls dudebros are so funny they talk such a big game but 99% of them are simps tbh when a girl tells them to shut up they do 😭 whenever i’m feeling mischievous i comment silly things on their posts and they respond w like laughing emojis or wtvr instead of going off on me in the comments as they would normally 😪 idk if it’s because my tik tok pfp is an actual picture of me instead of a character or smth so they feel embarrassed to be mean or rude?? regardless it makes me laugh they truly are just a bunch of losers who have too much free time and are stuck in this toxic dudebro community so whenever someone from outside of their perceived circle acknowledges them online they are factory reset

LMAOOO MY POOR PARENTS ARE ALWAYS MY SCAPEGOATS meanwhile they don’t even care what i do as long as i’m safe 😭 that whole situation was wild the dude tricked me into going on a date w him by saying his whole family would be there (i kind of knew his younger sister so i figured it wouldn’t be too awk if everyone was there) and then i showed up and there was literally no one but his mother who then also left??? UM?? it was literally terrifying and YESS his best friend is the only guy i’ve ever genuinely liked but there was a whole mess over there (he had a gf the whole time we were talking and she hated me but i didn’t know she existed??) and this dude knew all abt it and how broken up i was over the whole situation and STILL said “right let me just slide in rq” 😔😔😔 i had the last laugh though because after pretending to have a boyfriend and hiding in the bathroom so he could cry to himself (i saw the tears welling up and i knew i had to give him a minute) i drove home and my family flew to spain the next day!! thankfully i did end up getting out of tn’s dinner plans but ironically we are now flying to switzerland in like a day or so…ig it’s a pattern?? anyways that’s the mira lore drop of the day FHSKDJSK i have so many crazy stories like that i think i just have a general aura of unintentional rizz around me or smth

[dumbbitchfrommars]

i wanted to die at one point in my life. i wanted to watch as the blood dripped from the endless cuts i put on my own body, i wnted to see how mny i could fit on the areas of my body that werent visible because i wanted that private pain because i always knew the complete hypocrisy and idiocy of being suicidal and making it a caricature for the world to see.

its why i felt so stupid going to a psychologist that i seeked out for myself, every week, filling in that stupid sheet and downplaying my true feelings because it seemed so redundant to say i was depressed and anxious and having suicidal thoughts when i clearly desired to live enough to tell someone and try get help for it. but somehow i still wanted those things too. and i was invalidating myself by thinking the psychologist who barely knew or cared about me gave two shits about the fact that i was being a hypocrite.

im almost certain i have bpd.

if not i definitely have emotional dysregulation.

"nobody understands"

does nobody want to understand? or do i want them to not understand? or do i put it in the too hard basket - because no one knows how to fucking listen these days. or is it that i simply dont know how to say it. to say the hard thing and communicate how i truly feel. which is pure shit.

im beginning to disssociate from my own reality. potentially very likely the reason and source for all my creativity that i was wondering about. i thought it had gone for good. turns out i just needed to be completely stressed and depressed for it to come back - my perfect distraction. my one true love. dqydreaming. maladaptive daydreaming... hits different when my reality is unbelievably shit and worse. makes me get real juicy and creative with my made up stories to escape into.

the way my life is actully grreqt and fine and dandy and im lucky and special and i still feel like this. will the feeling ever go away?

its not fair that you made it all about you. my mental health is suffering because im trying so hard for everyone and youre turning my efforts into anither problem to pick away at? fuck you. fuck you. watch me prioritise myself. watch me take the biggest step away from you. youve failed me again, you alwaus fail me! you will never know what it feels like to be me. yiu will never understand.

i need to move out. i need to leave. i need to get the FUCK away. im so angry im heartbroken. im so angry im broken. i feel like a child again. how could you fail me so badly that i cut my own body and fantasized about death?

i really want to just go invisible. become the physical embodiment of what my internal world is feeling. but... more than usual. archive everything on instagram and change my bio to "gone for abit". delete the app. delete everything in fact. go awol. leave. disappear. isnt that what you want? isnt that what you deserve? if you wanted to ignore me so bad. ill just fucking leave then. ill go! im happy to do that. but somehow i know that wont work anymore. it never did, actually. it only did for me. and now i dont even think i get that as a consolation. because unfortunately my conscience is just too self aware to do that. anyway.

i just dont see anyone taking me and my issues seriously. thats how this problemcame to be, wasnt it? my parents judged and laughed at my big emotions. my feelings. my thoughts. now i dont know how to express fucking anything. but i also ccan? cause ive made it this far. hiding. hiding in plain sight. ugh

i cant keep doing this anymore. i cant keep writing! but i also cant keep hiding. but fucking everyone sucks. theyre just gonna have to deal, i suppose. what do i do, god? i dont know what else there is to say anymore. its all on the table. im still angry and hurt. and im so agonisingly close to that familiar feeling. god, i want to turn to my old bad habits but i know it wont help me. its a beautifully sadistic secret. but it helps nothing. its just a pointless secret. but at least its a release. its a sinful pleasure. once i do it, ill unravel. but i kind of want to. i want to be a bad person. ive always been a bad person pretending to be good, though. i could just be bad and authentic, and covered in bloody scars too. or i could just ... i wont go there just yet. im not thaat stupid, am i?

EWJGFVJFVKJDVKJDFVJKDFJKFVKJFVJKN

[oxooxxoooxxx]

like when u zoom out and actually take a look at the bigger picture rofl . the fact that i wasn’t even talking to this man at all really recently . and he messages me saying he’s watching me even after i had changed my camera password . im thinking im just alone in my house w my friend . im like no you’re not . there’s absolutely no way that’s possible . then he literally repeats to me in a message something i said out loud . literally watches me do hard drugs and fuck a random drug dealer in my bed . i feel sick thinking about it . i feel like i got raped . or let myself get raped . i let someone rape me for him so he could watch . he said "its my favorite thing youve ever done for me." he said "you have no idea the level of obsession youve unlocked from me." like i can’t even talk about how bad it was coming off of it . i was sobbing in the fetal position in the bathtub for 20 hours straight . whispering it’s ok to myself . im literally audibly and visually hallucinating for like three days afterwards . and so much stuff i still don’t know if it was real . i heard my cameras in the living room and the kitchen clicking on and off over and over for like 10 minutes straight while i was sitting at my desk. but then i thought later maybe it was just the fucking crackling noise on some rain and fireplace sound i had on the tv . i hallucinated for days straight that the discord icon for someone offline was subtly changing . rotating through variants of slightly different gray dots on an icon . that would subtly change when someone was actually off the app vs just invisible with discord open . which would subtly change to a different one when someone came back actually online . which seemed like it actually was kind of accurate because when it would “change” you’d usually start typing soon after . so this person takes this opportunity to like rekindle talking to me a lot bc im absolutely having a psychotic break and he stays with me to “take care of me” . but during that time also starts telling me ab all his problems w his real life girlfriend . like i don’t want to hear this fuckin shit . like get male friends u fucking disgustingly filthy jersey trash bisexual gutter whore . then on like the third day after when my brain is like 1% more stable just circles back and tells me he’s logged into all of my shit. he tells me he’s only doing it because he loves me too much . so that even when i try to leave him i can’t . so he can still see me . so he can still see inside of me . then he’s referencing things in my texts . like in my imessage . making little fucking references . i know he is . it doesn’t matter how crazy it sounds . that’s what these kind of ppl do to u . they make u sound crazy . they make u feel crazy . then once im more sober just goes back to his cycle of fucking his gf every weekend and only talking to me during the week . and leaving half the weeknights anyway . like it’s so far beyond gone bro . what power do i even have . to delete someone off discord. while they can still see everything . it’s fucking insane . it’s violating . i wanted him to fucking love me normally . not love bomb me and then gradually pull away while doing whatever the fuck he wants and compulsive lying about it but trying to manipulate me to still get whatever the fuck he wants out of me . why couldn’t i just have what i want just ONE time ? why would someone do this to someone ? i cant physically imagine what the fuck i could’ve ever done to attract that level of psychopathy other than literally being raised and horrifically abused by two psychotics . it’s just sick . and there’s no way out . because that’s what i attract . and worse, that’s what im atttacted to . that’s how i knew he loved me . that’s the ONLY way i knew . that level of devotion , obsession , addiction . i never wanted the pain . he pretended i wanted him to put me in pain . i wanted him to LOVE ME . i wanted you to fucking love me . and this is what you did . i just can’t take any more pain .

[winderlylandchime]

2x16 1/2 He actually clapped his hands together and went ‘lets get this love confession on the road!!!’ So let’s all hold hands for this unfortunate moment that we are about to witness, i believe this is the exact definition of stolen innocence.

‘It is Justin’s birthday..and Ben’s, my god he’s so boring that he can’t even have his own birthday. Why are we suddenly sad over going to Babylon? Justin, my boy, an episode ago you were living your best life there? He’s probably just tired’ ‘oh Brian hates birthdays, i thought it was just his birthday he hated. OH WAIT he’s pretending so that he can surprise him duuuh!!’ ‘Oh wow Ben’s whole thing is yoga and Buddhism..no party on the planet could make that look fun...I’m gonna need Mel and Lindsay to stop, what will they do? HEY! Talk to Bri Bri first, you will mess up his plans for his birthday surprise! Or are they in on it? *looks at me all shocked* theyre in on it aren’t they? They’re gonna take him to a dinner and Brian will be there waiti- VIOLIN RECITAL? Why are they ignoring him if he said he’s not into it? This will be the most boring birthday ever. But don’t worry Bri Bri will come through’ he now paused the episode on the loft scene because he swears he knows the song in the background but he can’t figure it out and no app is helping him. And i wish i was joking when i say that it took him 20 minutes to discover the song because when he made me look up songs listed for the ep, it was the wrong one. He is now angry at the band bc they are the reason he couldn’t find it. Now finally back to the episode. ‘Awww Brian is fixing his tie, didn’t Justin wear a tie the entire season 1? Would it kill Mel to smile at Brian once? Just once? Can she leave? I don’t like her anymore, she is far too negative for my vibes. Aww he told him to not work too hard. I agree with Lindsay but don’t worry he will show him his present bc this is all a pla- see! he is flipping through ART BOOKS! He is planning a surprise for Justin and i cant wait!’ And now it’s the beginning of Ethan and i wish i was joking when i said that I actually flinched when the violin music started. ‘justin…this is not this exciting so calm down. Is he seriously drawing him? *he paused on Ethans face* is that supposed to be a goatee? Is that…is he for real? Nobody on that set told him to shave? Oh I do not like the vibes of this. Justin only draws Brian, why is he drawing this lil shit now? *pauses on Ethan again* WAIT IS THAT BUFFYS BOYFRIEND?! Oh i hated him there. Justin, stop drawing him.’ (Please send me your thoughts and strength because i am physically ill at the sight of Ethan and now I actually have to suffer him.) ‘justin..why do we care about this dude so much? A lesbian success story? Melly, ill be the judge of that because right now i am not happy. Oh what a pretentious prick. Just take the fucking complime- he did not blame the fact that he sucked on justin? Oldest trick in the book well get fucked goatee boy because WE HAVE A BRIAN! Why are mel and Linds so happy about whatever the fuck this bullshit is? Ohhhh big whoop you have your own CD well Brian has his own loft and a car and a comic book!’ He paused the episode again and went outside for a smoke and when i asked about it, he just pointed to the tv where Ethan was on it and screamed with his hands shaking around his head. ‘Why is he playing the violin music for Brian? Justin, we are done. The concert is over and we are now back to reality! OH BRIAN HAS A PRESENT! WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY! WHAT DID I SAY WAS GONNA HAPPEN?! I said this will happen and nobody believed me!! AND NOW YALL LOOK LIKE A FOO-….okay, I did not see this happening’ ‘….Emmett, you could’ve just ordered sushi. Oh debbie, is here too. Seriously is mel ever fucking quiet? Do these two not know how to mind their business? My god, mel and lindsay really dont know how to mind their fucking business! It was a dumb present okay but can they mind their own for a second. Have they ever had a successful party? Debbie shut the fuck up, i too would hate strangers in my house AND my phone stolen by my boyfriend!’

"‘lets get this love confession on the road!!!’ So let’s all hold hands for this unfortunate moment that we are about to witness, i believe this is the exact definition of stolen innocence." Setting a prayer circle for you and Brother.

He's pretending he hates birthdays and he should check with Mel and Linds so they don't ruin the surprise. Oh nooooooo.

Yes why on this green earth would you take him to a violin recital?!?! Inquiring minds want to know. If only Justin had said "nah that sounds boring" and stuck to his guns. IF ONLY. (Although I do believe they needed to break up for relationship growth but still the way Ethan happened was NOT IT).

Ohhhh big whoop you have your own CD well Brian has his own loft and a car and a comic book! <- YES. BROTHER

And then we have the racist party... Emmett you could have just ordered sushi.

And no, they have never had a successful party. Vacations and parties come to die in QAF 'verse.

[bekah814]

Just saw your recent post and, this may be quite far from your experience but to me, I got blocked by one of my fave writers for apparently, spam liking. (Yes, I do reblog but sometimes, I have no time to read so I like it then go back to it at the end of the day, then reblog it, but ofc I can’t do it on a consistent or scheduled manner where I have to reblog all works that I liked within the day etc)

I was relatively new at tumblr at that time, so I didn’t know that some (if not most) writer dislikes the “like” or even “spam liking.” So I was shocked to know that I was blocked for that. Then I saw multiple posts that tumblr is not IG etc etc and that likes would not help the post at all or not contribute in showing appreciation (which made me think that if it’s not IG then why does specific interactions and numbers of interactions, matter?)

I do appreciate and acknowledge that authors basically give us free content of their sweat, time, and talent, and that they def deserve the reblogs and every interaction. But I just hope there’s no such hostility over likes. I cant seem to enjoy it that much anymore. Somewhat like you, I do not interact with posts until I have read it or until I could basically reblog it (which is not as often as the likes) bc I’m quite scared that liking it would eventually lead me being blocked by many writers here.

Anw that’s just me, feel free to delete this or enlighten me from an author’s pov. I mean no harm nor offense to anyone. It’s just me sharing hehe

No I completely agree! As someone that’s both an author and a consumer I understand the need for the precautions that are being taken! I’m not angry at how authors choose to run their blogs or even the rules that they choose to enforce bc I’ve been there! I was just honestly shocked and heartbroken that one of my favorite authors had blocked me on my birthday because I wasn’t able to answer when they wanted me to.

Many writers on this app are very vocal about the fact that they want people to interact with their blogs and works, and as a writer I do understand how important that is, but I just don’t think too many writers understand why they don’t get interaction. I’ve spent the last couple hours deleting 8 YEARS worth of reblogs off of my account because I’d rather be a silent watcher than be punished for interacting like they ask, and as you’ve said I’m sure the majority of people feel the same way.

I see so many artists wondering why nobody comments or interacts with their fics, and then the same artists have rules like you can’t reblog too many of their posts in a row or you get blocked; or if you don’t answer my question you get blocked- I even got blocked from a blog once because they said only male readers could interact/consume their work, and I just don’t think ppl understand that the two directly correlate. It’s why I stopped writing for this app, because since they changed the rules it’s like people have used that as an excuse to control the way people consume, share, and enjoy content on here, and thats just not something I want to have to go through every time I think I find someone who’s works I like,