#i kept forgetting to put things here oops have a bunch of shit all at once

[peadles]

been a hot minute since i posted here, have a meme + art dump

[ihatebnha]

Annoying things older!bachelor!Kirishima does because Magaritaville came on when I was driving home from school.

(bakugo's here!)

-

Nose hair

Has a whole entire, expensive, NICE bed but sleeps on the couch half the time (mostly after work and while he's watching TV... but he will stay there all night)

He has not thrown out a single piece of clothing in the last ten years. He has new clothes and everything... but he has some kind of attachment to all his hole-y underwear and he still wears them ALL the time

Chest hair also pokes out of the collar of his shirt a lot

We knew this already, but... snores beyond belief... which sucks because he always, always, wants to be pressed together at night, so he will snore in your ear

And during movies of which that he wanted to watch

(And when he rolls over, you're going WITH. You wake up to him laying you right on top of his chest while still in a deep slumber😭😭😭)

And similarly, he invites you over at night just so you can go to bed together. The first couple times it happens you think he wants to fuck but... nope. The second you're in underwear and in bed, he's falling asleep

The only thing he knows how to cook is meat and rice. It's always pretty good most of the time, but his version of a vegetable is like... overcooked greens, which he doesn't even bother with most of the time

That thing men do where they just sit around after a meal and pat their belly and burp. Or like, fart out a storm and then just be like "oops." He does that

(And takes like 45-minute shits too, while playing clash of clans or whatever men do in there)

And he's like... desensitized to salt. He nearly OVER seasons he food with it. Not quite enough for you to be concerned, but almost... and he's still always putting a little on things after, too

Preaches about staying hydrated but forgets to drink water

Will just randomly grip and knead your ass while you're kissing. And hard. Like some pervert from the movies

"I think you'd really like my friends!" and doesn't seem to understand why you don't wanna hang out with a bunch of 30+ male, pro heroes even if they are nice

Plus his sexual stamina... is insane

He'll like, wake up early AND in an extremely good mood after a night of pretty rough fucking... and then get sad when you don't have as much energy as him

(You're grumpy because he kept you up all night AND blew your back out and he's just, "what do you mean you don't wanna go for a run?")

"Why are you on your computer so much? :("

His bathroom has the weirdest crap in it. It's all toiletries but like... he bought one-ply toilet paper once that now sits in the corner because he wants to get rid of it and all natural, organic toothpaste that he thought he'd like but now refuses to touch... dirty clothes. A leaf

Also... he uses YOU as an excuse when he doesn't wanna hang out with people, all: "Ahhh sorry, the spouse wants me home tonight :(" except you haven't even talked about your evening plans

AND he does that thing where he calls you randomly and is like, "I told everyone you were making brownies tonight and that I'd bring some in tomorrow.................. Also, unrelated but did you know I love you very much?"

LMFAO he's the first older guy you date whose shower drain is clogged with hair

His skin is still flakey though so he goes to bed with lots of prescription lotion on

And he hums (and sometimes even sings) in the shower... because he knows all the words to Margaritaville

Bye.

[binniesthighs]

hi hi cuties and thigh enthusiasts!! just about a day ago my lil blog full of hornies and changbin thirst reached 1,500 and i am just jaflkjasd :’) since then haha 

ah ah this post is already so cheesy hehe but i wanted to say thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart for following me along with my journey with this blog! after having the hobby of writing for the greater part of my life, i’m so immensely thankful that i started this blog and hopefully took ya all on some of the crazy adventures i keep locked up in my head hehe 

having this blog has been such a wonderful experience, from learning about myself as a writer, exploring the many, many hornies that i’ve got, and most of all, meeting all of the freakin’ fantastic individuals in this community! ~thank you to each and every one of you for being the sweetest, loveliest, most hilarious and welcoming people i could ever wish to meet and have the honor of getting to know and write for!~ 

to celebrate, i wanted to make a lil list n’ love letter to my lovely pals for ya to check out! there is fkn CRAZY talent on this list and i highly recommend that ya check out everyone and their masterlists! 

to my moots~ GAH I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH my whole experience here on smutblr has been made absolutely amazing by you all! GOSH hehe i am full of so much love for you all your brains are seggsy as hell and i’m always rooting for you!! thank you so much for being my friends <3 

to my readers~ my loves, thank you, as a writer, to bee seen and heard fulfills every word i write and every lil idea i scribble down. wherever ya are in the world, thank you for taking the time to read my pieces and for sending me love. you are my reason!! 

to my anons~ thank you my darlings for all of your kindness, screams in my inbox, every song rec, hard thought and word of encouragement. my lil anon family i love you and appreciate you all so much! thank you for reaching out to me and makin’ a lil home on my account! it means the world to me! <3 

to my bunch of (ro)ses~ thank you so much for hyping me with each of my updates, for showing up in my notifs and being overall frickin’ angels! thank you so much for reading as always and i hope that ya like what’s to come! 

~hehe i wanted to write ya all lil messages too! while they just scratch the surface, please know that i love ya all to the moon and back!! 🥰~ 

🌹Writers🌹

@aliceu ~ alice, hehe here’s to all the times that we would ramble about fantasy aus and bounce ideas off eachother, thank you so much for being my go-to and my muse at times! your works are literally magical my love! 

@bearseungmin ~ hehe dawn i think that you might be one of my oldest moots on this list! ever since i started out here in this lil corner on the internet, you have been the most supportive, sweet individual there is to me and I can’t say thank you enough! i’m also like, highkey obsessed with everything you write hehehe 

@binniesbrat ~ oh my gosh té , hehe lol i will bring this up over and over again bc i’m just so ah ah it makes me melt but fun fact hehe back when i was babybinniesthighs, té reached out to me, and made me felt like i belonged--i literally lysm! your hornies are fantastic my dear, we are so lucky to have you here! 

@bruh-changbin ~ dear sky, while we’ve only talked a little in asks, i wanted to express how very dear you are to me! hehe when i update and you hype me up it literally makes my whole frickin’ day! you keep me going! not to mention that your writing is *chef’s kiss* teehee 

@bubblelixie ~ ah! kc! we’ve also been moots for a good while, i think back when i was babybinniesthighs too! hehe your overwhelming love and support of me makes my heart frickin’ swell and seeing you in my notifs and my asks with hornies makes me feel so dang fuzzy! you are quite literally one of the most adorable cuties on here! your writing also just *knocks me out* OOF 

@chaangbin ~ ours is quite the story dear hazel bean...meaning....i was like, the biggest, nerdiest fangirl of your work for quite some time and very very shy to tell you that it was me ahhhhh haha well here i am ooP your writing is so beautiful and human and immersive in so many ways! i’m crazy lucky to be moots and friends with ya! omg if i say more i will literally embarrass the heck out of myself hahahhaha

@decembermoonskz ~ beautiful izzy, you are such, and i mean such an inspiration to me. the way that you write is so gorgeous and i feel as if i’m in every scene. the way that you create worlds and place your readers in them is frickin’ insane! hehe i love obsessing with ya over chan any day and night! keep goin’! 

@dom--minnie ~ len, when i think of comfort, i really think of you. the way that i feel so safe with ya is like, insane. even when we first started chattin’ i just knew that we had an amazin’ thing coming hehe. from horny rambles to literally just talkin’ bout life, i am absurdly lucky to have met you here! you literally deserve everything wonderful in life and i love ya so much! 

@etherealeeknow ~ gah gen, my dear, the way that you checked up with me over my lil break just huhuhu thank you so much for being such a lovely and caring person towards me and everyone else whom you meet! you are so precious and i hope ya never forget that! 

@fight-me-m8 ~ darling and sweet rosetta, FRICK literally when i think of you oh my gosh i get the fuzzies, i’m so happy that we met and that i was able to witness the beginnings of your account! you have so so much love to give and i will fight you and give you more love back. bb i’m so happy to have you as a moot! 

@film-in-my-soul ~ alex! hehe while our friendship is still in the bb stages, i wanted to throw some love your way too!! i’m so hyped to write with you in the future and talk even more! i love how fast we clicked when we started talking about BLs AHA darlin’ you are so sweet and i can’t wait to get to know ya more! 

@formidxble ~ kim oh my god, you are a frickin’ force. when you entered this community a lil bit ago, and then made it your own, sharing with us your beautiful brain and lovely kindness, i swear the world must’ve taken a breath or something LOL you always astonish me with your works and i’m literally so excited for what the future holds for you! 

@hanflix ~ i think that i speak for so many of us here that rue, you are truly an inspiration. back when i was starting out and even now, reading your works feels like such a treat and i try to savor them all up! as a writer, i look up to you so much and as a wonderful, humble and hardworking person i look up to you as well!! thank you so much for welcoming me when i was babybinniesthighs ilsym! 

@hongnanglen-arina ~ arina my fuckin’ love oh my god if i could fly to where you are i frickin’ would!! i really think that the universe did a lil somethin’ somethin’ allowing us to meet. i feel so comfortable with you talkin’ about anything and everything especially hornies they are fkn’ unbridled. i can’t count how many times you’ve made me topple with laugher at like 3am. i’m so happy to have you in my life! 

@hyunsluvv ~ kathy istg you are one of the sweetest people i have had the pleasure of meeting on this lil corner of the internet! the care and love that you give to each of your anons, moots and in your work is truly astounding. i remember when you were just starting out i knew that big things were in store for you, and they still are! hehe

@imagineinnie ~ el, you are literally an angel if i have ever met one. it means the whole world to me when i see your dms, and the way that you check up on me and so many others goes to show the utter kindness and selflessness that you exhibit. cutie, thank you so much for always cheering me on and being such a light in this community!!

@instachans ~  kenny, although we’ve just met, i’m already so excited for our friendship to come! you are such an angel and have so much love to give, i’m so thankful that you slide into my asks hehe the future holds such amazing things for you!  

@itsapapisongo ~ javi, my dear, there’s just somethin’ about us that flows like frickin’ water. i feel like there’s the people that you meet in life that you kind of just click with, and i’m immensely grateful that i’ve met you. your love, support, hornies and lethal timing with gifs keeps me smiling. you are an astonishing writer and i feel so lucky to be here with you! 

@jisungsplatforms ~ sweet ina hehe i’m so glad that ya slid into my asks the day that you did! your vibes are so sweet and peaceful and i feel as if you and your account are such a safe place! i love, love sharing hornies with you over our boys! there is so much ahead for you my dear and i can’t wait!!! 

@mochinnie ~ omg i’ve totally said this before so many times, but i am so, so wowed by your work isa and they stick with me for like days after i read your pieces! i am so utterly inspired by you! i love your blog’s aesthetic and how you are always truthfully yourself i admire this so much! when i was starting out your works kept me goin’! thank you so much for this hehe 

@mzmezzler ~ ryan you literally deserve the whole world! not to mention that you are doing god’s work writing sub!skz! sweets, each of your pieces are so wonderful and imaginative and your lil memes and thoughts are so cute! please always keep doing you!! 

@ohmysparkle ~ sparkle: oh my gosh where can i start??? you are one fkn’ badass sparklin’ cat and my freakin’ role model. every day i am so astonished over how well spoken, wise, and reasonable you are while also being off the walls unapologetically yourself. my dear plz always shout with me about sub!hyunjin teehee 

@seungmoomin ~ nia big sexy brain!! holy shit the fkn talent in this bus? astronomical! nia i am absoluately WEAK over your writings and highkey you as a person over all! i swear, your blog is a gold mine and your personality is so wonderful i can’t put it into words LOL there’s no one quite like you and i can’t even count how many times you’ve got me dying laughing here ily!!

@yourdaddychan ~ LUNA my queen of capitalization and screaming in dms, you add a spice to my life that i didn’t know was missing. talking to you in every  format is fkn fantastic and lights up my day no matter how gloomy its been. i really feel like this is your world and i’m just livin’ in it LOL I LOVE YEW

🌹Readers🌹

@introjoonie ~ mai, this account would literally not be in existence if not for you, and it’s provided me with such happiness over these few months! thank you so much for encouraging me to let my hornies to the wind, and for listening to all my rambles about it since. thank you so much for being a lovely best friend, cheerleader and person. i’ll be seeing you soon!

@jeonglixie, @lechanters, @inlovewithasa, @pixxie-lixxie ~ my loves there is something so, so beautiful about each and every one of you, i cannot thank you enough for reading my works and for being so overwhelmingly supportive and kind with your feedback time and again. i’m so blessed to have such wonderful readers such as you! my time here on tumblr has been made by you and so many others of my unbelievably sweet readers!

@lovesfaith ~ ahh tumblr is being rude not letting me tag ya but sweets i just wanted to thank you so much for your kindness too! i adore talking with ya about astrology n’ just life and the way that you read me like a book is CRAZY haha thank you for being you Bambi! 

@meow-minho  ~ marine, every time that i see you on tumblr i am so thankful for your grace, and just lovely welcoming vibes. i am so thankful to have such a lovely person as you in my life and i can’t express how much me (and i’m sure so many other writers on here) appreciate your feedback. thank you so much!

@synnocence ~ wonderful cee, since first meeting you i feel like i’ve had the pleasure of getting to know such a wonderful human and equally amazin’ fellow bin stan! i can’t thank you enough for how much you’ve helped me grow my bin collection! dm-ing with you is always such a joy and you deserve the frickin’ world my friend!!

once again, thank you so much for poppin by and giving me a read, an ask, a dm or simply just sending bin pics my way hehe 

i hope to write much more in the future and to lash out with all the hornies that i’ve got! i can’t wait to share more with you all! thank you so much for being my motivation, as well as seggsy ass cuties who i am so lucky to share this space with!! 

have you thought about changbin’s thighs today yet? well...now you have 😉

[platypanthewriter]

Sun

Harringrove April prompt 15, Sun.  After the Mindflayer, Billy’s kinda weird, but Steve figures that makes sense.

Steve took the kids to pick each other up, sometimes, and sometimes, Max was at the hospital, to see Billy.  In Steve’s head, Billy nearly dying to save Eleven kind of...balanced out beating Steve’s head in.  Didn’t mean Steve liked the guy, but he thought...well, Steve Harrington had been no kinda prize until he started fighting for kids, and maybe Billy had changed, at least a little.  

Also, it was hilarious, because post-Mindflayer Billy Hargrove didn’t give a shit.  Steve had thought he hadn’t before, but then he saw a nurse outside, trying to get Billy to go back in—or at least put his clothes back on—and Billy just leaning against the side of the building by the dumpsters, naked in the sun.  She saw Max, and sighed with relief, heading inside.

Before, Billy had cared too much, Steve realized—about what Steve was doing, about who ruled the school—but he only cared about the sun, anymore.  

That, and probably annoying his sister, some, because when she leaned around the corner of the building and yelled, “Billy Hargrove, put your damn pants on,” he leaned his head back, eyes still closed, and replied, “Don’t look over here and you won’t see anything you don’t like, Maxine.”

“You better have left your bandages alone,” she shouted, and he laughed, then grimaced, wincing.

“You better stop bossing me around,” he yelled back.

“You’re gonna freeze your ass cheeks off,” she hollered, her hands firmly over her eyes as she meandered hesitantly towards his voice.  

“Don’t fucking come over here,” Billy groaned, bracing himself against the wall to look over, but one of his knees bent, and his legs both collapsed.  He landed with a soft “—oop.”

“...can I look?” Max asked, stopping.

“No, don’t,” he muttered, trying to push himself back up, and Steve took a step forward automatically, grimacing.  

“You are such a pain in the ass,” Max told him, putting her hands on her hips.  “I’m gonna get you a wheelchair.”

“The sun’s only over here for like fifteen more minutes,” Billy hissed at her, squirming until he could lean back against the building, at least.  “Lemme alone.”

“I can hear you shivering,” she snarled back.  “You’re probably getting dirt under all your bandages.  I’m getting a wheelchair.”

“Get the wheelchair,” Steve told her, and Billy twitched, but he didn’t open his eyes.  “Once he’s in the shade, we can throw a blanket on him, and push him in the sun again.”

“...fine,” Max growled, and stomped off.

“...y’know if you leave a bottle of water in the sun for six hours, it disinfects it,” Billy said softly.  “The UV rays.”

“...okay,” Steve said, keeping an eye out for anyone he needed to prevent walking around the edge of the building.  Billy mumbled something, and Steve wandered closer, trying not to notice how thin his shoulders looked, or the irritated red skin peeking out from under his bandages.  “...what’s that?”

“It doesn’t like the sun,” Billy whispered.  “Can’t take the UV.”

“...you know it’s gone, right,” Steve told him, and Billy snorted a laugh, his knuckles whitening as he gripped at the scrubby grass.  

“Mmm,” Billy said, and Steve crouched to grab his hand.  

“Come on,” he said, “I’ll help you stand up.”

Billy laughed.  “You’re gonna see shit and wish you hadn’t, Harringto—fuck,” he gasped, as Steve slid an arm around him, and slowly stood.  “You’re warm, fuck,” Billy muttered, staggering, and shivering harder.  

“We showered together,” Steve reminded him, trying to hold Billy so he faced the sun, but not touch him anywhere weird.  “I’ve seen it all.  I mean, you didn’t look as shitty, then.”

Billy laughed again, then took a few shuddery breaths, touching his bandages.  “...fffuck,” he breathed.  “I’m hot as...hell, Harrington,” he gasped, his whole face screwed up with pain.  “Just...got no taste.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Steve played along.  “The stubble really helps.  And the goosebumps, can’t forget those.”  

“Shit,” Billy breathed, pulling him a couple of inches further into the sun.  “...yeah.  I gotta...hide back here,” he said, coughing, and groaning.  “My public keeps wanting autographs.”

“...what about a tanning bed,” Steve asked, watching the last sliver of sun slide behind the laurels that shielded the dumpsters.  “Surround you with the same thing, right?”

Billy’s breath caught.  “...they’re not gonna let me out,” he whispered, curling a little against Steve’s shoulder, worn out.  “I can’t get to one.”

“I will talk to your doctor, okay,” Steve told him.  “Would you lie down and sleep, after?  If we get you in one?  Surrounded by the what, the UV light?”

Billy gripped his arms, and nodded, swallowing.  “Y-yeah.  I—I just need to—”

“Okay,” Steve nodded, as Max pushed the wheelchair around the corner.  

 Billy draped himself over the chair like a throne, and Max groaned at the drama, but tucked a blanket around him with annoyingly thorough pokes.  Billy grumbled, batting at her hand.

Once Steve wheeled him into the room, Billy lolled his head back and hollered, “Max!  You were so right, I’m dying, I need water.”  

“Like a plant,” Steve said.  “He needs to be watered.  I kinda have to take a piss—”

“Sounds like you two can work that out,” Max said, wrinkling her nose, but running off.  

“You piss on me and I’ll tear your dick off—” Billy started, then trailed off, watching her go.  “Check my back,” he whispered, yanking at the blanket, and Steve grabbed his hands.  

“Get in the bed,” he whispered back.  “I can’t see anything with you in the chair.  I’ll check.”  Billy’s shoulders were bony in his hands, and Steve bit his lips, helping him back onto the hospital bed.

“...don’t get fresh, now,” Billy grunted, shaking with exhaustion as he flopped too far down on the bed, his feet hanging over the edge, but too tired to move.  

“I would never,” Steve told him, snorting a laugh.  “Lemme scoot you up—”

“Just look,” Billy hissed, clenching his fists, and Steve kept his sigh silent, and yanked back the blanket.  

There were still a bunch of bandages down Billy’s back, and Steve grimaced, trying not to stare at a dude’s naked ass.  “”You’re fine,” he sighed, and Billy slammed his hand against the mattress so hard the bed rolled a little.  

“You didn’t fucking look—”

“I did,” Steve hissed back, and Billy shook his head, wrapping his arms around his pillow and his face.  

“Look harder,” he whispered hoarsely.  “Everything hurts, there’s something there this time—”

Steve rubbed his face, and then, grimacing, reached out and touched Billy’s shoulder.  Billy gave a full-body shudder, flinching away.  “—the fuck,” he gasped, sounding strained, but Steve just set his jaw and ran his fingertips down the back of Billy’s arm.  

“I’m looking.  There’s nothing.”

Billy stayed still, for once, letting Steve run his fingers down the whole length of his body as Steve’s face flamed.  When Steve finished running his fingers down Billy’s sides and along his legs and feet, he stuck his arms out behind him, and Steve carefully inspected his hands and forearms for black veins.  

“Back here,” Billy said, grabbing his hair off his neck, and Steve leaned in to inspect the back of Billy’s neck, and behind his ears, listening to the panting, snuffly breaths he was taking into the pillow.  

“You’re clear,” Steve said, and Billy finally relaxed, swallowing hard.  

“...fuck,” he muttered, between slow, shaky breaths.  “Shit.  I thought—”

“Try to get some sleep,” Steve told him, sighing.  “You’re fine.”

“I’m so fine,” Billy muttered into his arms, huffing a laugh.

Steve thought about telling someone that “looking” with fingertips worked, but he couldn’t see Max wanting to try it, or Billy letting her.  

“...you want me to come look tomorrow?” Steve asked, resignedly, and Billy went really still.  “...I can check for you if you’ll feel better.”

“...you just wanna get your hands on my ass,” Billy whispered finally, his voice cracking.

“That’s definitely it,” Steve snorted, pulling the blanket back over him, and tucking it in.  “Stay under there, it didn’t like warm either, right.”

When Max came back in, she had a tray of food, and started bickering with Billy over the applesauce on it, so Steve left.  As he opened the door, Billy called out “Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” Steve agreed.

 He tried to find Billy’d doctor to ask him about a tanning bed, and then the nurse on duty, but she must have thought Billy wanted a tan, because she rolled her eyes.  “That kid is gonna die of vanity,” she said, and Steve laughed uncomfortably.

 When he’d been at the grocery store, they had cactuses.  He drove over there and wandered around until he found a lady holding flowers, and grilled her on how to make somewhere warm and sunny enough for a cactus.  After writing a lot on his hand about grow lamps and minimum temperatures, he turned away, and she said “...you aren’t gonna buy a cactus?”, so he did.  He picked out an especially spiky one to call Billy, and a shorter wooly one that looked like it was crouching to lunge, and called that one Max with great satisfaction.  

The hardware store didn’t have grow lamps, so he ordered two, and bought some bulbs.  When he got home, he put Billy and Max into the window, and carefully watered them, then frowned at them through the evening, half expecting them to wither and die.  

 The next day, Billy was waiting for him after work, his hands shaking a little, but he looked less exhausted.  

“You get some sleep, finally?” Steve asked, pulling Billy’s hair away from his ears to check, and then lifting it off his neck.

“Don’t get distracted,” Billy muttered.

“Yeah, yeah, I gotta appreciate the sights, right,” Steve sighed, and Billy laughed, relaxing already under Steve’s careful fingers.  

“What about under the bandage,” Billy whispered, when Steve’s fingers grazed his ribs.  “Where it went through me.”

“Doesn’t the nurse change that out every day,” Steve asked, having seen it, and Billy’s fingers clenched around the edges of the mattress.  

“She’s not looking, she thinks I’m nuts,” he growled, and Steve grimaced, lifting the edges to look underneath.  

“I think they’ll throw me out if I mess with your bandages.  How about you have Max watch?”

“...she doesn’t wanna see that,” Billy muttered, and Steve rolled his eyes, thinking ‘because I do, right.’

“She wants to make sure you’re safe too,” he told Billy, who was silent.

 “His room at home doesn’t get any sun at all,” Max said, when she showed up, and Steve frowned at the man huddled under the blankets.  “He’s gonna get arrested for flashing the neighbors.  And probably, like, skin cancer on his dick.”

Both options seemed likely.

“When are they releasing him?” Steve asked, cocking his head thoughtfully, and Max winced, blowing through her cheeks.  

“We don’t know.  He keeps talking about how he could stay longer if he fell down the stairs,” she said, smiling grimly.  

“...what the fuck,” Steve said, staring at her, and his vague thoughts of Billy coming to visit began to take shape.

 “What?!  No!” Robin said, when he mentioned the idea of inviting the man who’d given him a concussion to live in his house.  

“He’s changed,” Steve said lamely.  “And he’s got no strength in his arms,” he pointed out, with more certainty.  “He’s not gonna be hitting anybody.”

“We can always fling him off your balcony,” she said, considering.

 He broached it to Billy the next day, as he ran his fingertips down the warm, goose pimply skin of Billy’s thighs.  “You should come to my apartment,” he said, and Billy’s foot twitched.

“...the hell would I wanna go visiting anywhere,” he asked.  “Don’t get distracted—”

“I’m not, look, I’m stopping here, I’ll restart in the right spot,” Steve said, resting his whole hand on Billy’s thigh just below his ass.  He shivered.  “I’m saying come stay with me, okay.”

After a long pause, Billy lifted his head from the pillow.  “...what,” he croaked.

“Come stay with me.”

“...are you fucking serious,” Billy shot back, glaring over his shoulder.  “Don’t fuck with me, Harrington—”

“I’m not,” Steve sighed, rolling his eyes.  “My apartment faces south, man, sunny all day.”  Billy’s breath caught.  “Think about it,” Steve told him, bending to carefully check Billy’s legs for the black veins of the Mindflayer.  

 That night, Steve’s phone rang.  “Were you serious?” Billy said, with no preamble.  “I can come stay with you?”

“Yeah,” Steve said, winding the cord around his finger, his cheeks irrationally flushed.  It was just Billy, he told himself, glancing around the apartment and wishing it was nicer.  The carpet looked older than Steve was, he thought in dismay.

“For how long,” Billy said softly, like there had to be a catch, and Steve shrugged.  

“Doesn’t matter, Hargrove, jesus.  I can’t let you go home.”

“...the hell did Max tell you,” Billy hissed, and Steve blinked.  

“She said your room had no sun.”

Billy started laughing—Steve hoped the noise was laughing, anyway, at least mostly—and then hung up.

 The day Billy was released, Steve took him straight to a tanning salon, and he emerged half-asleep from the tanning bed, so sleepy and quiet he didn’t even resist Steve carrying him back out to the car.  

He did have a lot to say about getting piggy-backed up the stairs to Steve’s apartment, like “Giddyup”, “Yee-haw”, “You just want me wrapped aorund you,” and “What the shit, Harrington, three stories, I’m gonna be trapped up here like fucking Rapunzel.”

“Didn’t a king put her in a tower to weave gold,” Steve asked, panting, and Billy laughed against his shoulder.  

“That was Rumpelstitzkin.  Wrong story.  Rapunzel, a witch did it.  They traded her for salad.”

“They fucking what,” Steve said, staggering to a stop on the stairs, and Billy burst out laughing.  

“Keep walking, your majesty.  Don’t drop me.”

 Steve reached and flicked the lights on, and then carried Billy inside.  His mom had gotten rid of his kid’s bed, so he’d just hauled his queen size out to the front room, in front of the windows, and he lowered Billy next to it, turning to grab him as he stumbled, looking around.  

“...there’re cactuses growing on your windowsill,” Billy pointed out, and Steve nodded.  

“It’s so sunny in here cactuses grow,” Steve informed him proudly.  “I thought that one looked like you—”

“Sturdy?” Billy suggested, smirking.  “Prickly?”

“Pain in my ass,” Steve told him.  “Here, sit down before you fall down.  Okay, these lamps?” he pointed, walking over,  “—sun lamps, okay.  They’ll keep it sunny year-round—”

“...why do you care if it’s sunny year-round,” Billy asked flatly, and Steve blinked over at him.  “I already don’t know how I’m gonna pay you back for this,” Billy gritted out.  “The fuck do you mean year-round.”  

Steve bit his lips together, thinking how weird and pathetic it was that he’d been so excited to have Billy come he’d lost sleep, bought grow lamps and cacti, and scrubbed his whole fridge out that morning at three, after it occurred to him, lying awake, that he hadn’t since he moved in.  He walked into the kitchen, and started getting out the chicken soup fixings he’d been assured Billy could eat.  “...I put a plastic lawn chair in the shower for when you can take showers,” he said, and heard his bed creak.  He looked over to see Billy standing, gripping the headboard, but then he sat again, swearing.  

“Harrington,” he hissed.

Steve told him about the hours he kept, and the plan with Max to bring Billy’s things, and Billy muttered darkly, and eventually complimented Steve’s soup like he was mad to admit it was good.

 That night, he squirmed next to Steve, slowly, because he couldn’t move fast, his breathing catching, then evening out, then gasping again.  

“...you need anything?” Steve asked finally, and Billy was silent for a long time, like he was holding his breath.  

“Maybe I should shave my head,” he said, casually, out of the blue, and Steve couldn’t help it, he snorted a laugh, dissolving into snickers.

“What?!” he hissed, still giggling.

“Can’t check under my hair,” Billy said, nearly inaudibly, and Steve groaned, then scooted closer, and reached up to find Billy’s shoulder in the dark.  

He slid his hand up and through Billy’s curls.  “S’warm, right?”

“...yeah,” Billy breathed.

“Doesn’t like warm,” Steve whispered back, sliding his fingers through every inch of Billy’s hair, slowly, so heat could build.  “If this feels bad, we’ll know, right?”

“......yeah,” Billy said, after an even longer pause.  

“...so does it?” Steve asked, after a while, and Billy didn’t answer.  Steve suspected he’d fallen asleep, but he made sure to finish.

 While Steve got ready for work, Billy was arranging himself in the bed, centered in the windows with his naked ass hanging out.  He sighed contentedly, and Steve groaned.

“Tell me you put sunscreen on,” he said, and Billy glared over.  

“I can’t put a shirt on, Harrington.  It’s fine—”

“You’re gonna be pissed if you get sunburned,” Steve told him, grabbing the sunscreen he’d bought for the time he took the Party camping, before they were too old for fun.  Billy stared at him, but Steve had had girlfriends, and he was a good babysitter, so he was an expert at warming sunscreen just enough, and not letting his fingers linger anywhere they weren’t supposed to be.  

Billy lay stiff as taxidermy as Steve rubbed sunscreen into his shoulders and arms, and then down his back—and then paused, because usually there was swimsuit there, and Billy cracked up the hardest Steve had ever heard him laugh.  He ever kicked his foot a little, snickering at Steve’s bad life choices.

Steve slapped a lotion-gooey hand on Billy’s ass, defiantly, and Billy yelped, laughing harder, and curling a little on his side, so Steve had to shove him on his face again to get him around the side of his butt.

“What are you doing,” Billy groaned into his pillow, cackling as Steve got his thighs and down the backs of his knees.  

“I just don’t wanna find you burned to ashes, like a vampire,” Steve said, blushing harder than ever, and then patted the calf of Billy’s leg.  “Flip over.”

“...I’ll get the front,” Billy said, still sniggering.  “I promise.  I swear, Harrington—”

“...you better,” Steve said, a little relieved, and a lot disappointed.  He shook his head hard, and left the sunscreen where Billy could get it.  

When he glanced back, Billy’s whole body was much redder than Steve’s squeamish lotioning could explain.  

 That night when he got home from work, he brought a pizza.  Billy eyed it doubtfully, but accepted the offered plate.  He stayed on the bed, watching Steve watch TV, until Steve waved him over, making a face.  

“D’you need help getting off the bed, or something?” he asked, and Billy shook his head, narrowing his eyes.

“Not gonna risk it,” he said.  “You felt me up too good this morning.  Might get ideas.”

Steve threw an olive at him, and Billy popped it in his mouth.  Steve watched him lick the drooping tip of the pizza into his mouth, and the grease shining on his lips.  Steve cleared his throat, and fixed his eyes on the TV screen.  

“So if I’m the spiky one,” Billy said, pausing halfway through the pizza slice to lay back on the bed, “—who’s the other one?  You got two cactuses in your life?”

“Max,” Steve told him absently.  “I was asking the lady at the store how to keep it sunny enough for a cactus in here, and so she thought I’d buy some, y’know.”

“...I guess when you start bringing a girl around, you’ll get something pretty,” Billy said, not any particular way, and Steve realized he’d been listening closely for tone.  

“Cactuses have flowers,” Steve told him, and Billy pushed himself up again, watching Steve’s face.  

Steve didn’t know what to do with that, except stick his tongue out, or something, so he stuffed the whole rest of the pizza slice in his mouth, and chewed.

 Billy could mostly take care of himself, except for being a little crazy.  Steve asked Dustin what it was called if something couldn’t live without sunlight, and Dustin said photosynthesis, so that was what Steve told his neighbors Billy had.  He jerked awake nearly every night no matter how long he baked himself the night before, breathing shakily.  Sometimes, it worked for Steve to slide a hand over and touch his shoulder, and then smooth his hand over Billy’s skin, reminding him the Mindflayer didn’t like it warm.

“You could just look, and we could go back to sleep,” Billy mumbled, but he scooted closer as Steve smoothed a hand along his ribs, and down his hip.

“Too sleepy, no lights,” Steve groaned, flopping half on top of him, and Billy laughed until they were both awake.

 Once, he tried to escape Steve, who scrambled the other way, thudded to the floor with a loud crash at 3am, and woke the neighbors, who yelled up through the floor asking if they were okay.  

Billy and Steve snickered in horror over that one, and Steve tried to sleep on the couch, that night, despite Billy’s continual whispers of “You know you’d rather get some, Harrington.  Get back over here.  I’m lonely, Harrington.  Put your hands on me, Harrington.”  He started singing it, softly, then louder, like their neighbors weren’t tortured enough, and finally Steve groaned, laughing, and tromped back over to crawl into bed.

“You want my hands on you, huh,” Steve whispered, daring to scoot close and slide a hand around Billy’s waist, pulling their whole bodies against each other.  “...warm enough?” he asked, and Billy nodded, frozen stiff like a board against his chest.

“...what were you dreaming?” Steve whispered, against Billy’s ear, because usually Billy curled into his warmth, edging towards him even asleep, until they were a mess of arms and legs and their skin stuck together a little with sweat.

Billy took a slow breath, then let it out.  Steve waited, but he just kept...breathing, until Steve finally grunted unhappily against his neck, and snuggled closer.  They didn’t get much sleep, that night, since Billy kept twitching awake, and finally Steve got up and turned on the sun lamps, and yanked off the blanket to run his hand up and down Billy’s lower back.

“...d’you wanna kiss me,” Billy finally said, flatly, like he was mad, and Steve froze.  

He thought about the way Billy knew exactly how to make Max mad—but teased her about something else, instead, after listening to her scream as he went down at the mall.  The shine of the pizza grease on Billy’s lips, and how pink they’d been, after he licked them.  How he sat up a little every time Steve walked in the room, like Steve Harrington was someone to get excited about.  

“...you don’t, do you,” Billy said, even more firmly, his hands clenched on Steve’s, around his waist.  “Fuck.  Forget it.”

“What the hell, no, I’m not forgetting it,” Steve hissed, and Billy laughed, less happily, this time.  

“Yeah,” he whispered.  “That’s what I was dreaming about.”

“What if—what if I do.  Want to,” Steve mumbled, feeling like a moron, and Billy went all stiff and uncomfortable in his arms again.  

“Make up your mind, Harrington,” he growled, and Steve sat up, so Billy fell on his back with a sputtered “Fuck!”

 Steve licked his lips, staring down at Billy’s glowering face and set jaw, going golden in the first, early rays of the sun.  He leaned in for a kiss.

The other Harringrove April prompts I’ve done

[heycallmeladytypewriter]

A Call of a Siren - Chapter 2

A/N: As you guys have noticed, I tweaked a few things to fit Delia into the story but please let me know if I missed or messed up something on the storyline. Again, looking for a beta reader if anyone is interested. Chapter three should be up soon along with everyone's favorite angry boy. I don't own My Hero Academia. I only own my own characters and the story I create within Horikoshi's masterpiece of a world I'd love to live in.

Chapter One

_____________________________________________________________

“I expect you to all to still work hard on exams even though the end of the school year is in sight!” Her teacher was lecturing them on the importance of tests or something but Cordelia had other things on her mind. 

Nine months ago, she saw the world's greatest hero and a scrawny boy her age on the beach. A day she wouldn’t forget as it was a major part of why she was trying her damndest to get into UA in a month.

She went to the beach mostly everyday on a run and also practiced in her room after her family went out or was asleep. She also tried to incorporate some strength training exercises she got off the internet as she was sure you needed more than cardio to make it in. 

One thing she found herself doing, albeit shamefully, was sort of spying on All Might and Izuku Midoriya train on the beach and park. She didn’t necessarily go out of her way but it was on her training grounds too. No matter how she reasoned it, she still kept her distance and would hide at first sign of being found. It also didn’t help that she felt she had stumbled on a major invasion of privacy as she witnessed the strong and well, mighty, All Might transform to a tall but skinny weaker man. The first time she saw it she thought her eyeballs were for sure going to pop out her skull and fall to the floor with her jaw. She would never tell out of respect for the hero but still...every time he did it was like a mini heart attack especially when he would cough up blood afterwards. Like Jesus man please go see a doctor!

“Miss Bell I hope that dazed look on your face means you are thinking of your study schedule this weekend?” 

Her head turned from the window and faced the teacher, “ Oh, yes of course!” 

“Hmm..so anyways class -” Cordelia went right back to gazing out the window. 

_______________________________________________________

“ FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO DO YOUR STUPID STRETCHES BRAT!” Angry boy yelled at her for the 400th time.

Delia rolled her eyes again but continued her stretches where she was. She was here first anyway. Not that it mattered as she always stretched here because after Angry boy decided it was his workout spot she decided it was hers too. 

“Oi, don’t ignore me! Move your fat ass out of here!” 

“No thanks I’m good. And who are you calling fat ass, big tits?” She laughed as he bristled immediately at her response. He reminded her of a cat, all puffy and angry,  when he got like that which only made her giggle more. She wished to know his name but last time she asked he flipped her off. 

Looking at her watch, she realized she was going to be late for dinner. “Oh crap. Gotta go! Bye Big tits!” 

His water bottle flew right past her head as she ran off while he screamed expletives at her. “Hey!” She scolded. She slowed down enough to pick it up and chucked it with maximum force back at him, “don’t fucking litter!” 

She ran a little quicker when she heard the little pops of his quirk which is when she realized a few months ago that he was getting more pissed. “Goddamn brat!”

________________________________________________________

“Cordelia, you are late! Go wash up.” Her mother scolded her from the kitchen as she walked in the house. 

“Lost track of time! Sorry I’ll be quick!” She hopped up the stairs and nearly ran into her father, wearing his uniform, on the way. “Oops sorry Daddy!”

 Yes, she still called her father ‘Daddy.’

 Her ‘Daddy’ was a 6’4 man with piercing blue eyes that could intimidate anybody which probably helped with his job. Her mother always liked to point out that of course all her children had to inherit his blue eyes and not her brown ones.  

“Hey,” His hand shot out to gently grab her wrist before she could keep going, “What is all this training you doing for?” 

“Nothing in particular. Can’t I have a hobby?” She lied through her teeth before continuing on upstairs. 

“Cordelia…” 

“Dad. Teenage girl who wants to be fit - not rocket science!” 

Hopping in the hot shower, Delia relaxed finally. She was soooo lying to her family but felt it necessary as they stood on opposite ground concerning her dream of becoming a hero. 

She had a dream. She wasn’t going to give up without a fight just because she was alone in it. Deep down she was hoping if she became a good enough hero she could change their minds about the matter. 

She even took many preemptive precautions such as designating herself as the mail person of the house. She got it every day without fail and they would get used to just depending on her to get it. She managed to get a third cordless phone for the house she’d hide in her room to check the number in case of any specific calls coming through. She even created a fake parent email and perfected their signatures if needed. She was good at lying but it never felt easier on her to lie regardless of her reasons. 

“CORDELIA!” 

With a sigh, she shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. At least I dry off quickly, she thought amused as she wicked the water off her body and out of her hair. 

__________________________________________________________

It was exam day. 

Delia’s nerves were all over the place as she sat in the auditorium filled with the other hopefuls. They grouped them by class it seemed though she didn’t recognize those sitting near her. Her fault, she was sure, as she didn’t reach out to others during this past year as she just assumed or more like hoped she’d be transferring after the year was up. 

She wondered where Midoriya was as he was the reason she got her butt here in the first place. 

The Pro, Present Mic, continued to shout out to the crowd of potential students but Delia figured everyone was too wound up to join in or even focus enough. He was in the process of explaining their physical test when a loud voice rang out. A boy with cut blue hair and glasses stood suddenly and practically demanded answers of a possible inconsistency regarding the robots before the Pro could probably get to it (impatient much?) and then turned behind him to yell at the very boy she was wondering about for muttering too loudly. 

She wanted to laugh but her nerves were already fraying. As they were announcing the order of tests and people were slowly being shuffled out of the auditorium, Delia took a long breath before marching outside with the others. 

____________________________________________________________

This was exhilarating and terrifying all at once. 

She went on auto pilot as soon as the doors opened. Everyone rushed forward only to be immediately greeted by a bunch of green robots with glowing red eyes. Without thinking, she looked for the nearest water source...yes, a fire hydrant!...and reached her hand outwards to pull the water. A burst of water came rushing out that she quickly sharpened into her normal water whip and sliced out at the first two robots she saw ahead of her, breaking their heads off. 

“Wow that was amazing!” A girl with short brown hair to her left shouted at her before running further down the street. Delia blinked. Holy shit, that was amazing! For a moment, Delia felt she could really do this...until about 10 minutes later.

The robots didn’t give her a minute to think anymore, which considering her extreme anxiety over today was probably a good thing, and she used her whip to maim any robot who came within range. As soon as she was finally racking up a few points, a giant shadow loomed over the street. 

It was the zero points robot. 

Holy shitballs it was huge, Delia thought, shielding her face, as it stomped its way over causing surrounding small buildings and the street itself to explode with force everywhere. 

She was about to run but she heard someone cry out. It was the really nice girl from earlier who was caught under the debris from the zero pointer. 

Everyone was running. 

Then she ran. 

Towards the girl. 

There was water running from a broken pipe so she willed it near her as she skidded to the girl and put her hand up and the water formed a water dome around her the girl as they braced themselves for the next step from the robot but it never came. 

“SMASH!” Midoriya yelled from above them. Through the water she saw him go flying at the face of the robot and hit it so hard the zero pointer was thrown back with a broken face. 

“Oh my god” she whispered. The water fell on them in a whoosh and she snapped back to the girl and pushed the rock up far enough to wiggle her leg out. Looking up, she saw Midoriya start to fall and her heart continued to race as she tried to figure out how to catch him but the girl who was stuck ran, now with a limp, touch a rock and float upwards towards him. She meets him halfway then taps him midair and slowly brings them back to earth. Then promptly throws up off the side of the rock. 

The buzzer goes off. 

Times up. 

Delia felt her shoulder drop in disappointment. She only had 20 points from the smaller robots and barely. That was it. She was stuck at a regular school and wouldn’t be a pro hero. 

The finality of things started to weigh on her and followed her as she shuffled her way home, trying not to cry.

____________________________________________________________

The wait was killing her. 

It’s been days and she’s checked the mail repeatedly. Damn near scared the mailman a few times when she ran up to him a few houses before hers.

By the time it came, she had all but figured she failed so badly that they weren’t gonna waste time with a letter. Yeah, she was being dramatic but still. 

Finally, a small package addressed to her arrived. Delia had to wait until her parents went out to the store with Henry before she could run to her room and play it. After triple checking they left, she set it up on her small desk and internally started to scream. 

“Young Bell, it is me All Might! I am here! To give you your results on your exam to UA!” 

There goes her ability to breathe. 

She started to bite her lip nervously. 

“It says here that you scored 24 points on your practical and did well enough in your written test. BUT” 

She was now on the verge of gnawing her lip off.

“While your scores were alright enough, what really wowed us was your last few minutes of the practical!”

He started a small screen next to him of the girl who was stuck under a rock talking to someone behind the camera. 

“Is it possible to share my points?!” The girl exclaimed to someone behind the camera. 

Delia’s hand went to her chest as the girl, who didn’t know her nor should’ve bothered to do this, wanted to make sure her and Midoryia earned enough points and if not, to give them some of hers. Her lip had to have been bruised by now.

“Did you really think a Hero academy judged solely on the ability to hit a robot? We look at everything! And you, Young Bell, embody just the right person we strive to teach! You went ahead without thinking or caring about anything but the girl and acted- acted heroically! We awarded you 30 more points bringing your total to a whopping 54! So, Young Bell, I want to congratulate you on your acceptance to UA! Welcome, future hero!” 

Delia’s lip was bleeding now but she didn’t care. Tears were rushing down her face before she could stop them.

She thought it was done.

But really- it was just beginning. 

She sent a silent thank you to the boy on the beach and the hero they both looked up to

[ellstersmash]

Three: Fifteen

Fandom: Dragon Age

Pairing: Solas x f!Lavellan (Modern!AU)

Rating: overall E for Explicit | this chapter T for Teen

|Previous Chapter| |Next Chapter| |Read on AO3|

--

    [  Results were inconclusive. Again. Any last-minute suggestions?  ]

Athi reads the message from Solas, then reads it again. Is ready to send back [???] but her phone buzzes again before she has the chance.

    [  Apologies. That was not intended for you.   ]

She smirks—

no shit

—deletes her question, taps out a response.

    [  :* i miss u too   ]

    [  oop sry. wrong #   ]

    [  Ha Ha.   ]

    [  sry bout ur results :(   ]

    [  Thank you. What are you doing today?  ]

“That Solas?” Sera says, not bothering to look up from her unbroken line of yellow glitter glue. “Tell him to suck it.”

    [  arts n crafts   ]

Athi snaps a quick picture of the mess they’ve made in their living room and sends it to him.

    [  sera says suck it   ]

    [  Of course she does.  ]

“He says hi.”

Sera gags dramatically. “Thought you wanted to help with all this, not flirt with your boyfriend.”

A snotty retort itches behind Athi’s teeth but she stifles it. Rolls her eyes instead and tosses her phone aside, the device bouncing once to rest face-down on the sofa cushion. She picks up a thick black marker with pungent permanent ink, and gets back to work filling in the block letters Sera lined earlier.

Her boyfriend. Gods, but that sounds strange. Childish. Like they go on dates behind the primary school, or pretend not to be having sex in the room down the hall from someone's parents’. And yet she finds herself giddy at the thought. To be fair, it’s all she has for the moment. The thought. He's off on some adventure, and she's stuck here. Again. They'd only had that one perfect day, breakfast and window shopping and holding hands like real life lovers under trees full of dry rainbow leaves fluttering their applause. And then he took a phone call and went home to pack and left first thing in the morning.

She wonders just how often this happens.

How important could it be? Not like a bunch of ancient artifacts are going to up and wander off if he can’t go poke at them right away. A mental note to ask him later, and she moves this poster to the pile of finished ones and exchanges it for another that says “YOUR VILLAGE —> OUR CITY.” Cute, though maybe a smidge too reliant on humans knowing their history.

“Sure you don’t want to come?” Sera asks.

“That’s not—” Athi sighs. “I told you, I have work.”

“Yeah, but isn’t this more important?”

“I don’t know. Do you want rent paid?”

Sera quiets, kicking her legs back and forth as she works. Her glue bottle sputters, spits shimmer all over. A frustrated grunt and she tosses it aside, rolls onto her back.

“I’m just saying you should care is all. ‘S not going to get any better if nobody makes noise, and nobody’s making it for us.”

“Us?" Athi scoffs. "When we met, you said—and I quote—‘So glad you’re not one of those elfy elves.’”

“Yeah, well, therapy’s all right. Besides, it’s not for elves, or not just. It’s for whoever gets stepped on. That means us.”

“I didn’t know you were in therapy.” 

“Maybe I don’t tell you everything," Sera mutters. “Thought of that?”

Athi caps her marker and lays it down. It’s just a feeling, but it's nagging. Persistent. Like and yet unlike the one she still gets when her papae calls her by her full name. Isalathena Sulahnera Lavellan, come here this instant, and it’s heavy on her chest, sitting right on top of her breastbone. Guilty, but she's not.

“What’s wrong?” she asks. Throws it out there before the feeling gets stale and she decides it's something she can live with.

“Nothing.”

“Right, ok, except for it’s not, so come on. Let's get it out and over with.”

Sera sits up, blonde hair sticking out in a couple new directions. “What’s your problem?”

“You! You’ve been acting weird all week, Ser. Haven’t come in for lunch or been home at night, responded to texts—”

“If you think I want to be in the next room while you and—”

“Oh, so you have a problem with Solas? That was one—”

“No!” Sera groans in frustration. “I mean, yeah, he is kind of old, and talks about old stuff a lot, and he’s all”—she straightens her spine into an uncomfortable posture, then slouches again—“but I like him well enough.”

"Then what?"

Sera stares at her hands for a while. Then out the window. Then at the wall. Then back at her hands. Athi’s patience is thin on a good day, and it takes a lot of willpower to keep quiet as Sera opens her mouth and closes it again, false start after false start.

Finally, Sera blurts out: “I want to ask Dagna to move in.”

Athi has no idea what she was expecting, but not that. Searching for some way to relate it to her own behavior, to justify her feeling or shove it aside, she takes so long to form a response that Sera begins to fidget.

“You what?” she asks at last, thoroughly stumped.

“I want to ask Dagna—”

“Yeah, I…” Athi tries to catch up, shuffles through the past month as best as she can in the pause between. “Here?”

Sera squints at her like she's stupid, but that's fair. It was a stupid thing to say. 

“No, my mother's. Yes here!” 

“I’m sorry, I didn't realize you two were dating again. What’s it been, a year since you broke up?” 

“Yeah. You were out at your friend’s place. Better you missed the makeup sex, though, yeah? More room for fun.” 

At first Sera’s cheeky grin has Athi smiling too. It’s a relief to talk about someone else’s shit instead of her own, but then Sera glances toward the couch and—

Oh.

Oh gods, she wouldn’t have . . . would she?

Athi gets up for a glass of water, makes it two at Sera’s request. Sits cross-legged on the coffee table when she comes back. Just to be safe.

“Isn’t it a bit fast?” she asks.

“Maybe. Doesn’t feel fast, though. If you add 'em all up it's been like, a few years or something, so it sort of works out to normal. If you think about it.”

“I guess.”

Sera empties her glass in one go. “Her lease is up next month,” she says.

Athi nods. “Right. So soon, then. Um… and if it doesn’t work out?” She leaves out the again, but it’s implied.

“But that’s why I should do it! See, I keep losing her because I’m not in. She was serious about us, but I kept messing around. Don’t even know why, really.” She looks on the edge of losing her momentum, halfway to introspection, then snaps back into the room. “But therapy! So this time, like Wicked Grace, right? I’m all in and she’ll see I mean it. And then it’ll work out.”

Her logic isn’t quite flawed but it’s far from perfect. Still, friends don't tell friends to be afraid. Especially when those friends have clearly put a lot of thought into their dynamic-altering life-changing decisions. So Athi drops the questions.

“Wow,” she says instead. “I didn’t know you felt that way about her.”

Sera shifts into soft focus and smiles, a faraway look in her eyes. “Me either.”

She seems so certain. Satisfied, and happy. Really, truly happy. And it’s kind of fucking beautiful.

Feeling overcome for no good reason, Athi goes back to her task. Long thick careful black lines, then short ones. She marks a pattern with them to make it less work and more play. Not that anyone will see unless they’re trying. And as she makes the spaces solid, a thought occurs to her.

“So,” she says, bright. Like it’s no big deal. “Do you want me to move out?”

“What? No! Course not. Why would you say that?”

There’s no time to answer. After so much silence, Sera bubbles over with unused conversation. 

“I mean, do you want to move out? You’re not moving in with Solas are you? Gross. Definitely too fast for that one. Bet he wants to get married first, in a chantry and everything. Is he Andrastian, do you know? Where is he, anyway? He travels a lot for work, right? Must be nice. Wonder if his job pays for it. Is he gone now?”

Too many questions, so Athi answers the last one.

“Yeah. Flies in late tonight. He’s picking me up after work.”

Sera snorts. “What, picking you up? So you wouldn’t get up to take him in, huh? Good girl. Stay strong. Trust me, you drive him once and you're in for forever.”

“No, he didn’t even ask. Figured he’d take a cab or something, but I guess he drove himself.”

“And paid for parking? What’s he, loaded?”

Athi grins and crosses her fingers.

“Real nice. I’m serious, Ath, that’s some weird psychopath shit. Nobody drives their own self to the airport. No one who has friends, anyway.”

"I think he's just used to being alone.”

“Way to make it sad.”

"Alone doesn't mean sad."

"It kind of is though. But then, he’s got people, right? Like Varric, and, well... I don’t know. People.”

Athi shrugs. “Habits can be hard to break, especially when you’re not trying.”

“Ooh. Very wise today."

"Shut up."

"I mean it!"

She doesn’t tell Sera about the other things. The books covering all his furniture. The busted bathroom door that he removed rather than replaced. The singular coaster on his side table. The way he forgets to be hospitable, then overcorrects, asks her if she needs anything three times in a row. His house, his life, is not prepared for the presence of others. Not meant to host company or take in strays or accommodate a lover, meant for him and his needs and his convenience and no more.

And she’s honestly not sure if that makes her an exception or an intruder.

--

“Woah.”

The door slams shut behind her. Very nearly catches her in the ass but she happened to freeze just beyond its reach.

The place is gutted. Or maybe it's not? Ceiling and walls are fine and nothing she can place is missing, tables and chairs and bottles of booze all present and accounted for, but it looks fucking empty. And clean, though she can’t tell if that’s real or just the lack of tasteless decor.

“I know, right?” Tali dumps a bucket of ice in the bin with the rest. “It was like this when I showed up today.”

Athi drifts in slow, perturbed by the smell of cleaning solution and the lack of clutter. Hangs her purse on the coat rack just inside the office, her jacket on top of that. Pulls her hair back, ties her apron, washes her hands.

“Were we robbed?” she asks, only half joking.

“Technically, that would be a burglary.”

“Were we burglarized?”

“You know,” Tali says, “If someone broke in just to take those awful knick-knacks and creepy pictures Seggrit had up, I say more power to ‘em. Enjoy your ghosts, thief!"

Athi giggles. “Worst was the cabin.”

“Are you kidding? I couldn’t even look at that family one. The kid’s vacant stare, blessed Andraste, I wanted to flip it around every time I walked in that door. And you know that cat had seen things. I mean, did Seggrit know them? Why were they on our wall?”

"Somebody had to keep an eye on us."

"And make sure we weren't flirting with tall handsome customers in the back alley?" Tali grins, tongue stuck out between her teeth.

"Why? You make that a habit too?"

Tali wrings out and refolds her bar towel. “Ok, sweetie. Keep your secrets. I'll get my details one day."

"Anyway." Athi gestures at the naked walls. "Change!"

"Right. It was Seggie for sure. He was here when I came in. Must have dealt with all that crap this morning, though I couldn't say what he did with all of it. Or why. Oh! And he left that.”

Tali reaches back and raps a knuckle on the fridge where a sheet of paper hangs. Athi slides it out from under the magnet. Scans its contents. Flips it writing-side-out toward Tali.

“The fuck is this?”

“A cleaning list.”

“I can see that. Seggrit made it?”

“Either that or your writer pal is moving in for real.”

“And that’s not strange to you? That he cares?”

Tali shrugs one shoulder. “Maybe he’s decided to rejuvenate this place. You know? Spruce it up, invest a little time, maybe hire some better bartenders.”

“Hey, don't sell yourself short."

"Bold of you to assume I meant myself."

“This is weird, though. Right?" She reads off the paper. "Sweep out back? Deep-clean the office? Dust the brick wall? Tali, most of these have nothing to do with anything. Where are the temp checks? Or the fucking tap lines? Or, you know, any of the shit we should actually be doing?"

“Beats me, babe. I'm just glad he's getting involved. You should’ve seen him whirling around here earlier. Something seems to have lit a fire under his rear-end.”

Another feeling, but she can't place this one. It all fits together somehow, or should. The list and the bare walls and the lack of fire hazards. Chewing on the puzzle, Athi picks a task at random, takes a spray bottle and a coffee filter to the windows. Even free of five years’ grime and in full sun, they don’t illuminate much. But that’s all right. The list says clean, and they are definitely that.

[kidmachinate]

Not All Is As It Seems

**SPOILERS BELOW THE PICTURE**

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“Rey…Skywalker”

THAT’S NOT HOW THAT WORKS!!!

My literal reaction to the very end of the movie. Much like The Last Jedi, I don’t have an issue with this as much as the majority of the internet and think it was a fun watch…however…two things. As a Star Wars film, which is what it is, man did they mess things up. Also, whatever plot complaints people had about The Last Jedi? Rise of Skywalker basically says, hold my beer. Let’s get into this.

This was the most obvious thing from the beginning with the trailers but Emperor Palpatine? Why is he in this? Kylo just gets the shaft at the end of the day because he’s “Supreme Leader” until THE supreme leader comes in, which brings him back to the temper tantrum angry kid he is. Still taking orders from someone ultimately and can't rise to power. Poor Kylo. Guess we've gotta kill Palpatine. Everyone wants to anyway. I suppose this all needed to happen in order to set up “ReyLo” but the inclusion of Palpatine at all just seems like a huge copout. Should have just kept Snoke. Replacing Snoke with another main villain after he was killed off by Kylo makes that scene pointless in the previous movie. Palpatine for the Final Order apparently has a bunch of literal planet destroyer ships. Cool…so…pulling the strings all along over the last two movies is pointless. Just execute the final order and forget going through all the trouble? The final battle was cool upon first seeing it, but just doesn’t feel like a satisfactory payoff at the end. The more it dragged on it went between predictable and cringeworthy. Rey gets shown the space battle just like he did to Luke back in Return of the Jedi to try and make her lose hope and embrace her dark side because…you know…evidentially Rey is a Palpatine. Isn’t this Rise of SKYWALKER? Maybe we should look at it from Kylo Ren’s perspective instead and it makes more sense? All these force families are related in one way or another and cross over and such so I’ma give that a pass. The way the ships just fall from the sky when things are over just seems absurd. Lando Calrissian must be one hell of a charmer to have gotten the army he did to help out. There ARE things I like, I swear. Call this nitpicking but these were my thoughts through the movie. Take it or leave it. There’s more.

The ending overall was probably my least favorite part of the whole film. The awkward tension between the three main characters towards the beginning felt forced, and I think we could have done without as well. The force link of sorts between Rey and Kylo was kind of annoying and awkward as well in the previous movie, but I think was done much better in this one. The ways Kylo tries to manipulate Rey or extract info from her is front and center. Parts of the fanbase don’t like Rey. Well I do, so fuck them. Just kidding, we all have opinions. That said, for as much as I actually don’t like Kylo Ren, this trilogy might as well have been his journey. He is probably the only new character fleshed out to their full potential. He actually gets progression through the movies. Rey is basically the equivalent to Superman and just can’t be stopped. Struggling with the dark side and her humility keeps her “human” but her sheer power just makes things very predictable. She throws down against Kylo in The Force Awakens with NO FORCE TRAINING and wins. It is actually one of the reasons I thought he was kind of a joke. This is his trilogy…then he dies. But hey, awkward kiss from Rey before he dies. Guess there goes ReyLo. What they were building up to all these movies…fanfic achieved…short kiss…no more ReyLo. I’m almost done with the bad I swear…

Finn. What the hell were they thinking? What is his role in this film, really? In fact, what is his role truly since Force Awakens? He’s clearly force sensitive in some way and they really don’t get into what that could mean. Easy character development that just doesn’t really happen. He has heroic moments in The Last Jedi as well but in this movie…he’s just not interesting and mostly ends up just being worried about Rey but never able to do anything about it. He also “has something to tell her”. He never does. The topic even gets revisited between Poe and him. Still doesn’t say anything. Guess there’s no resolution there. Oops. Also, real quick, we knew Leia would fall just like Han and Luke. One per movie. But we don’t kill off Chewy although we tease it. I was happy about that. Droids are fine too. Humans gotta go though. Guess human don’t sell as well as toys. Alright, we’re done here. Onto the good stuff.

I just mentioned Chewbacca so his emotional reaction to Leia’s death was really well done. Leia was treated the best way she could have been with what they had to work with, in my opinion. The tiny gripe was referring to her as Princess instead of General but I guess we will give that a pass too. The force ghost scene with Luke and Rey was both great and nostalgic. That X-Wing was sitting there the pervious movie and to see him raise it for Rey to use was one of the grand moments of the film. This along with him catching the lightsaber as if to say, I was wrong and was scared when you first approached me about training. Or maybe this was to shut up angry fans about the fact that he threw the saber in the first place in The Last Jedi. I found that great personally. Fans need to get over themselves sometimes. The Han Solo retread with the famous “I know" line was another highlight. People will nitpick this and say Han never had force powers so shouldn’t show up in this way. Clearly it was just Ben recalling memories as if to be talking to himself, to his Dad, and being offered forgiveness. A highlight of the movie for me as well. This all brings things to where this post started. Just before that however, I want to recall thoughts from a previous post of liking what they tried to do in this sequel trilogy and prove that the force is more than what we saw it as and isn’t “just blood”. Even the dark side can be converted. Offered redemption. There are just several places where this all could have been done much better. They also could have put Mara Jade in the movie. Just saying, totally not salty, let’s wrap this up.

Rey’s revisit to Tatooine is a great way to end the film, the Skywalker saga. She buries the two sabers where Star Wars started in the first place and reveals the one she forged for herself. I love this. When she engages in conversation with the person who questions who she is, at the point of redeeming the ending, she mentions she is Rey Skywalker. You’re a fucking Palpatine, was confirmed, and I get that you got the nod from Leia and Luke’s force ghost, but that quite literally, is not how things work. You don’t just label yourself something and become that. Without her being a Palpatine, her struggle with the dark would make less sense. However, I do think there would have been more value in her actually being related somehow to a Skywalker that dabbled in the dark, meanwhile Kylo Ren started good and turned dark due to having too much “Vader” in him. Like two people trying to find their proper place in the world in their own struggles. Rey was always gonna be the one to live however. I personally think it would have been more respected that way. Maybe I’m dealing in absolutes here.

These are my thoughts on everything. Nothing is as it seems and Kylo and Rey both have their respective journeys realized for better or worse. Will Rey train a new generation of Jedi and tell them about the Skywalker linage while then lying to the kids about her being one as well? Since she is now a self-proclaimed Skywalker? Don’t lie to the kids. Don’t hide shit from them. You don’t want to end up with a classroom full of Kylo Rens.

[mirsfa]

dangerously (iii)

Genre: Uhm. Kinda everything, from angst through fluff to smut Word count: 12k Pairing: Prince!Jaehyun x Mafia!Reader Warning: Cursing, underage smoking, drinking, use of drugs, even more cursing, smut in upcoming chapters. There’s a lot and I might have left some out oops. Summary: You were polar opposites. He was royalty, you were a criminal. You hated him, he hated you. This mission was the last thing any of you wanted, but you had to make it work. But could you?

Trigger warning: violence, blood

All nine of you were gathered in Taeil’s room, the distraught disbelief remaining on your features as your minds recalled and repeated all the things that you have seen, all the conversations and encounters you had while in the Throne Room.  

“Kun, let me see the contract again.” Taeyong murmured with a hazy voice, sprawled across a rose gold coloured sofa. Honestly, it was laughable the way you looked in the soft aesthetics and sophisticated area and surroundings of the castle, with your dark clothing drawing a strong contrast against the clear and innocent atmosphere of the building.

“Tae, no matter how many times you’re gonna look at that damned paper, the amount is going to be the same.” Ten’s voice came from somewhere behind the enormous king-sized bed placed by the wall in the middle of the room.

You ignored them, staring through the terrace door, its crystal-clear windows providing a beautiful scenery towards the gardens, and the thick, bush, fence-maze in it. You weren’t exactly sure how to feel; not only about the promising contract that the King had succeeded to make with you after a long speech and piercing gazes from the nine princes, but about the life you were going to be a part of for a year, like that piece of paper said.

You have never been the type of person to particularly care what people thought of you.

However, that attitude seemed way too wronged now. You didn’t seem to be able to erase the looks you have received from the people living and employed by the castle. The judgemental, and fearful gazes lasted for only a mere second before the owners averted their eyes, finding the smallest details on the wall and their shoes fascinating. On top of that, you didn’t seem to forget the way the King squinted his eyes when they fell upon your frame.

It bothered you to no end and you had to concentrate so hard - and had to put in so much effort to ignore them - but since you were staring outside with a mind that kept on repeating those glances, you failed. Terribly, for that.

“I really wasn’t expecting this,” Jeno said, his awestruck voice drawing a soft echo in the enormous suit. “They must need a lot of help if they were willing to offer this much.”

He let pitch black strands of hair fall in front of his eyes, which were in search of the contract paper Taeyong was holding. The paper was crusty and seemed incredibly valuable - you would get a lot of money, just for that piece of paper if you were to sell it on the black-market. But that wasn’t important right now.

Standing up from the window, you stretched your hands up and smiled, like nothing in the world was wrong.

“We need to get down to do some stuff, guys. They said we have two days to get our thoughts together,” you said but the smile you had quickly turned into a grimace.

Deep down you were hoping you would get more time to explore the castle itself; both Winwin and you voiced your concerns back in the Throne Room about it. Only, Winwin’s main cause of worry was the time it might take to ship all his tech stuff here, the castle. Both of you were immediately shushed and told that you will get more time to explore and become familiar with the whereabouts of all the doors, exits, secret passages; and the King reassured Winwin that he will make sure that every single piece of his “things” will be transferred to the castle just in time.

“Two days from now the five youngest will be attending a dinner in honour of a newly built school. I need you to make sure they get there and back safely, without a single scratch.” The Queen said, and you remembered as her dark eyes connected with yours for a single second – a second enough to make you understand her worries and the reckless trust she put into you, a bunch of strangers and criminals, just to protect her youngest sons.

You weren’t sure why; still, back in Taeil’s room you couldn’t figure out that why one look into your eyes from the Queen lit something like a flame of devotion in you towards the youngests of the princes. They were children, all younger than you. It was your duty, not only as an employee, but as a woman with a family of her own, to make sure they were alive and protected.

Pinching the bridge of your nose you stopped your racing thoughts about gender roles.

“We need to work out our formations as bodyguards,” you said and Taeyong nodded as he propped himself up on his elbow, flaming crimson hair falling into his eyes.

“I agree. I have paper and pen,” Taeil stood up from an armchair and pulled a notebook out.

“To be honest, I checked up on different possible formations for bodyguards,” he continued, “and thankfully I found plenty.”

Everyone gathered around the notebook in front of Taeil, their focus shifting from the promising contract signed an hour ago onto the formation plans.

“It will be relatively easy if we are escorting the oldest and the youngest ones separately. Let’s take the four oldest one as an example,” he drew four circles in a spade formation; North, South, West and East, with the initials of the four oldest princes’ names then continued, “We are ten people but, in this case, we will only need eight. See, we can also form a spade around them, with additional four in-between the main cardinals.”

All of you nodded, not taking your eyes off his hand as he drew eight additional squares around the circles.

“Taeyong, you will be North, obviously. You can watch out for potential danger from the front; Yukhei you will be South, you will be watching our backs. Doyoung, you will be East and Z, you will be West.”

You and Doyoung nodded, but your eyes widened suddenly.

“But hey, why am I the one next to the asshole, Yuta?” your whiny tone left Taeil unfazed, but you swore you could hear Doyoung letting a small snicker out.  

“First of all, the tension between you and Prince Jaehyun could have been cut with a goddamned knife, and I don’t want anyone murmured. Second of all, Doyoung and Yuta aren’t a pretty pair either.” Taeil deadpanned and gave the raven-haired hitman a pointed look.

Both of you rolled your eyes but continued to pay attention anyways as Taeil kept on explaining.

“Z and Doyoung, you will have the relatively hardest job, for you will need to protect from the sides which isn’t the easiest as we all know. Make sure to look out, but don’t make it obvious. We need to be alert, but we are bodyguards for royalty. Lowkey, guys. We need to be as lowkey as we can manage,” He took a breath and wrote your initials into the squares.

“The additional four are also important and we will need to look out as much as the ones in the spade formation. Kun, you will be between Taeyong and Z. I will be between Taeyong and Doyoung, Jeno, you will be South-East.” He looked at the second youngest, whose inky locks fell into his forehead in his deep concentration to memorize the formation. “And Jisung, you will also need to participate. You will be South-West, between Z and Yukhei.”

Jisung just groaned and rolled his eyes. You all knew he hated being out in the spotlight, preferring the cool safety of the shadows.

“So, I guess I will be behind screens.” Winwin asked, his voice soft yet incredibly bored. Taeil nodded, chewing on his lips.

“That’s what I was hoping for. Just like usual, you will be watching the cameras, you will have the map of the building beforehand, all that shit. Good?”

“Very good.”

“And Ten, you will be watching them from a distance. Be sure that no one will see you, only us.”

Ten just nodded and his lips turned into a thin line. It was nothing different from any of the missions you have done together, with him hiding in shadows and taking a note of everything, only jumping in in case something went wrong.

Taeil took a small piece of tape out and stuck it up on the wall after ripping it out.

“This formation will be the same when we go with the young princes. There will be five of them, but it won’t make any difference. In case only the King and the Queen need to attend, there will be going only four of us with them, in the same spade formation. It’s gonna be relatively the same. Taeyong is North, Z is West, Doyoung is East but Jeno will be South. You guys are our best fighters, so I think it’s fitting enough.”

Again, he stuck the note on the wall, next to the previous one.

“Is that all?” asked Taeyong.

“No,” Taeil shook and scratched his head, “We are not enough people in case the whole family goes out, even if we include Winwin.”

Taeyong sighed, irritation evident on his features as he quickly rubbed his face.

“Should I call more people?”

“Like who? We can’t really trust anyone else than us, we aren’t even sure it’s the Black Spade who has been doing the attacks.” Yukhei asked, his eyebrows furrowing a bit.

“I think we should give it a try, now, as we are,” you piped in, “just see if we need anything else. Let’s not run ahead our heads.”

The others murmured in agreement.

“Is everything settled now? Winwin you’re getting your equipment soon, right? Yukhei what about your lab stuff?” Taeyong asked, quickly brushing a crimson lock out of his eyes.

Yukhei grimaced and shook his head.

“I don’t know about them, I’m gonna need to ask someone, but our collection of weapons still hasn’t arrived yet and to be very honest, I’m not very keen on using the ones the castle is going to provide us.”

Doyoung nodded heavily and you couldn’t help but agree.

“It’s fine it’s fine,” Taeyong repeated, but it did sound like he was doing it for the safety of his own sanity. “I need to smoke, Jesus.”

You looked around and your gaze fell on an ashtray lying next to the small coffee table. You reached for it and when you felt its weight your eyes widened.

“What the fuck, is this diamond?”

The others’ eyebrows flew high up as they stared fondly at the object in your hand.

“I think we should write down on a piece of paper what we need and then talk about it with the King. See if he can provide all that shit.” Taeyong said as he pinched his nose-bridge.

“Can we include the diamond ashtrays?”

“We can include the diamond ashtrays.”

And so, you got to work again. 

“Let’s go over it again,” Johnny said, as he sat together with Jaehyun and all of the younger princes, Mark, Renjun, Donghyuck, Jaemin and Chenle on a group of comfortable cushions.

“Come on, you need to stop worrying about us. It’s gonna be fine, now that we have new bodyguards – “Mark started, but Johnny interrupted him yet again, for the fifth time in the previous ten minutes.

“No, Mark, that’s exactly my point. We have new bodyguards; therefore, we have different responsibilities then before.” Even though this was not the first time Johnny explained it to his brothers, his voice was as calm and patient as ever, going over everything again and again.

“In case we are in an attack, what do you do? Renjun?”

The mentioned boy groaned and rolled his eyes but answered none the less.

“We stick to the closest Diamond Snake and do whatever we are instructed to do. We don’t panic, because that’s trouble, we throw away our pride because our safety is the most important thing. We don’t make inappropriate or sexist jokes – wait but doesn’t this rule apply only to Yuta?!”

“Yes, but remember it, just in case.” Johnny waved his hands quickly, as if to whoosh the problem away. “But yes, perfect. Next, Jaemin. What do we do when there is no Diamond Snake around us?”

Jaemin’s eyes unfocused for a second, recalling all the rules and tactics Johnny and Jaehyun taught them an hour ago.

“We look for someone we know, a brother, and sticking together we watch out and look for one. If we still don’t find any, we go to the nearest place that is completely secure, and don’t move, and call for help.”

“How do you call for help?” Jaehyun asked.

“By pressing the button that’s going to be wired behind our ears.”

“And then?”

“They are going to answer us, ask for where we are, and then come when we specify our location.”

“What do you do while you’re waiting?”

“Don’t move, don’t breathe, don’t make a sound.”

Johnny exhaled and nodded. It was dark outside, and the gathering grey clouds of a coming storm blocked out the whole sky, making all the light disappear momentarily. Occasionally, the ground underneath them rumbled from the thunders, but it hadn’t rained – not yet.

Jaehyun couldn’t help but smile at the quick thought, at how similar the weather seemed to be to their very own situation. They knew something was coming but didn’t quite know what and when and how bad will the impact be. It has been almost two days since the agreement was made and within these two days he hadn’t seen not one Diamond Snake member. And it made him extremely uneasy.

He couldn’t get them out of his head, he couldn’t get the lingering potential danger out of his head and he felt like the biggest idiot ever. Everyone had seemed to have come to peace with the fact that the people who were gonna protect them for a year, were just as dangerous at from whom they were going to give protection from.

Everyone, except him.

When he ate, he couldn’t help but wonder if any of the gang members had found a kitchen and put something in the ingredients, every time he walked through an empty corridor he couldn’t help but think if someone was going to jump out from behind one of the ridiculously expensive statues and aim a gun right at his forehead.

And lastly, he despised how every time he heard the clicking of high heels on the polished floors of the castle, his first thought was a young woman with fire and ice in her eyes, and a face he seemed to see everywhere.

“Jaehyun?”

His head snapped back from the window. Johnny and his younger brothers were all staring at him. He gulped.

“Yes?”

“You blanked out. We talked through everything, I think the boys are ready for tomorrow.” Johnny said, hiding a smile behind his voice. Jaehyun just nodded and smiled apologetically.

“Then boys, I think you could call it a day.” He said, and all five of them sailed out of the sitting room.

“You seem off, Jae.” Johnny said then, his voice smooth and careful.

“No, it’s just…I can’t get them out of my head. I haven’t heard of them since we’ve done the deal two days ago and it’s just – “

“Unnerving?”

Jaehyun nodded and raked his fingers through his honey locks. Johnny reached out and patted his back.

“I was going to pay them a visit, about tomorrow. Wanna tag along?”

 The castle corridors at this hour were empty, with no one rushing around except for the mice who wondered into the building from the neighbouring woods. Jaehyun’s and Johnny’s steps echoed throughout the hall that lead to the West Wing. The hall wasn’t entirely a usual one, it was more like a bridge that connected the main building to the West Wing, positioned more than a hundred meters above the ground, its walls made of nothing, but bulletproof and crystal-clear glass. Jaehyun got goosebumps every single time he had to go through; ever since he was born.

Maybe that was why he had his chambers in the East Wing, farthest away from the West.

“Did you know they cleared out the whole of the West Wing because of the Snakes?” Johnny asked suddenly and Jaehyun slightly jumped from the strong echo of his brother’s voice.

“No, I didn’t. How come?” he asked, looking out into the stormy night through the glass. Johnny chuckled and looked at him incredulously.  

“How come? First of all, it’s not like anyone would want to live with their lives at stake because of a mafia gang casually living around. Right?”

Jaehyun shrugged and turned left, heading for the crimson haired leader’s room. He totally didn’t memorise the rooms each member got.

“And second of all?” he asked, but Johnny uncomfortably stifled a laugh.

“I don’t know, there’s no second of all.”

Jaehyun chuckled, the low grumble making a soft, almost inaudible echo.

Their attires were surprising casual, if it wasn’t for their well-known looks, no one would’ve guessed they were royals. Johnny wore a simple pair of jeans and hoodie combo, Jaehyun didn’t even bother to put on jeans, he was in plain black sweatpants and a white shirt, his hair unmade and tousled from the continuous raking of his fingers. Their sneakers didn’t make much noise.

“Taeil’s room must be this one,” Johnny said as he stopped in front of the first door at the corner.

“Were we not going to go to Taeyong? The leader?”

“Oh yeah, I wanted to say Taeyong. What did I say?”

“Taeil.”

“They sound similar.”

Jaehyun didn’t have time before he answered, for Johnny knocked on the dark, carved, wooden door twice in front of them.

For a second no one answered, there was complete silence. Then the sounds of murmuring and shuffling reached their ears, along with a loud crash and unearthly cursing. The door was then ripped open by a young man, with a height matching Johnny’s and a grin spread wide across his face.

“Well hello there, Your Graces, how may I be at your service on this wonderful evening?” he chirped, his voice disturbingly cheerful and loud. Jaehyun squinted his eyes as he looked at the tall boy, his face not the slightest familiar. The only people who came to sign the contract were the leader, the man responsible for the paperworks – Taeil, if he remembered right, and the young lady.

Your face popped in front of his eyes again and he almost ripped his hair out in frustration.

“May we come in? We want a word with your leader.” Johnny asked, with a hint of a smile. The tall boy looked back quickly, holding his pointy finger up.

“One second Y’Majesty, I gotta check if everyone is presentable.”

Johnny glanced at Jaehyun quickly, but smiled nonetheless.

“Go ahead.”

“Yo losers!” his voice boomed through the corridor and Jaehyun jumped slightly, his heart rate increasing yet again. “Y’all have clothes on?!”

Jaehyun heard a distant approving shout and before he realized, he was already in the leader’s suit. The word ‘mess’ would be an understatement in this case; looking around the huge chamber, he realized the word ‘chaos’ would probably be better fitting. Clothes were lying on every single surface, along with thousands of pieces of papers. The pleasing, soft aesthetics of the room disappeared completely. On the king-sized bed, there were two people hunched over a MacBook, a sea of cables and post-its spread around them. Jaehyun squinted his eyes again, as he realized he hadn’t seen those two before either and then it hit him; he was just about to see the actual inner circle of the Diamond Snake. He took another glance at the tall figures on the bed. One of them was young – way too young, maybe younger than Chenle. His blond locks were hanging deep into his eyes as his gaze remained on the computer screen, with a mouth slightly agape. The other boy, typing furiously and way too fast for Jaehyun’s liking, seemed much older, with a similar, darker shade of dirty blond hair in a half-up-half-down style.

They didn’t even lift their gazes as the princes passed them, and Jaehyun wasn’t entire sure how to feel about that.

Passing by the bed they turned right, into the living room of the suit, with large, soft, cream coloured sofas, coffee tables and television. The room wasn’t as chaotic as the one before, however Jaehyun did catch pieces of clothes and other…weird stuff on the floor. Like a whole set of high quality machine guns and other, half-wrapped weaponry. It seemed like they received their own weaponries.

As they stepped in, a quick glance around the room was enough for him to see that there were only three people sprawled on different sofas - one of them being the young woman. His eyes locked on her face for a second more than he wanted to do so; but thank to all gods she didn’t seem to notice, for she was completely engrossed in filing her blood coloured nails.

“Boss, they came here to see you.” Said the tall one as he threw himself down onto the sofa on which the crimson haired leader was sitting.

“Oh?” Taeyong’s slit eyebrow lifted elegantly as he looked over the princes and stood up, his hand outstretched. Jaehyun stiffened but Johnny grabbed the hand and shook it briefly.

“What do I owe this pleasure?”

“We wanted to clarify some things real quick, about tomorrow.” Johnny said as he sat down on the armrest of the nearest sofa, but Jaehyun remained standing, next to him, and glanced around the room, his eyes finding her frame again.

The woman looked up from her nails, her expression gloriously bored, head placed in her palm as she observed him and Johnny. She wore a simple oversized t-shirt, and Jaehyun blushed for a second when he didn’t see anything underneath the long shirt. Her bare legs swayed over the plush arm of the soft gold sofa, almost as if she was trying to earn a reaction from the princes.

They locked eyes for a bare second, but it was more than enough for Jaehyun to realize, from the slight squint of her eyes, that she was indeed, waiting for an outrage of reaction.

Jaehyun averted his gaze and kept his composure.

“I was wondering,” Johnny started, “if you had any other things planned out except for the things you have sent us – about what to do in case of an attack.”

Taeyong nodded as he lowered himself back.

“Yes, your Majesties. We have everything planned out.”

A beat of silence.

“Would you maybe…share it? With us?” Johnny asked, his tone confused. Taeyong smiled bitterly as he glanced at the woman and Doyoung, who was sitting on the sofa next to him.

“It seems like you are having a hard time trusting us, princes.”

Even then, clothed in the simplest clothes, Johnny and Jaehyun could not deny the tinge of royal air around themselves, especially at times when they did not get what they came for. Johnny’s eyes gleamed with a hint of ice and steel, something only few experiences. He was just about to open his mouth in a retort when Taeyong waved his hand, as if to shush him. Shush him.

“We will of course, share everything with Your Highnesses. Tomorrow, we will tell every member of the Royal Family how we planned things out.”

“Why not now?”

The leader smiled again.

“I don’t like repeating myself.”

And so that night, for the first time, the princes did not get exactly what they came for, and Jaehyun had a brush of a feeling that it was not going to be the last time.

The sun hadn’t fully risen yet when all of them, The Royal Family and the Diamond Snake mafia gang, gathered in the enormous Throne Room. If anyone looked carefully at each person’s face, they would have seen the unmistakeable signs of exhaustion, the dark circles and the puffy eyes were hard to miss.

You felt the coffee doing an amazing job within your system to keep you from giving in to your heavy eyelids. It’s aroma lingered in your breath – something much like reassurance. A sourly taste made its way down your throat when you remembered how long you stayed awake with Taeyong last night, planning and talking and planning. And then again, the unexpected arrival of the princes did really throw all of you off-guard, making you realize their expectations were much higher than you had expected.

Clicking your heels softly to the polished, marble floor of the Throne Room, you listened to Taeyong and the royals speak.

“This is the first public outing of the princes since the latest attack, right?” the leader asked, his crimson, smoothed back hair carefully styled on his head, only a single, untamed lock hanging into his forehead.

“Yes, it is,” the King answered, looking over at one of the youngest princes, huddled together and murmuring. For a second you stared at them – their closeness and hands over each other in protective manners reminded you of nothing but you and your family, the Snakes, when you were younger. Biting down on your bottom lip, your gaze wandered over to the Queen.

Her aging face was solemn and calm – tired, if you looked closely enough, and for a spare second, sympathy washed over you.

But you shook the feeling off as you glanced away, keeping your eyes on the marble floor.

“We have made a plan, Your Majesties, and we would take you through it, if we may.” Taeil spoke up, his voice full of authority. After everyone had gathered around, he pulled the piece of paper out, on which the sketch of the formation was visible.

“All bodyguards need a formation at all times for every celebrity and royalty, however formations are not required for the protected half in most cases. In this one, however, we will need one.” He started as he looked at the younger princes to his right; who shifted themselves into much more respectful positions.

“Your Majesties, you will need to follow our, and only our commands from now on. Understood?”

The princes nodded carefully. You tightened your grip around the black bandana in your pocket as Taeil quickly waved you over.

“Z, show them.”

Carefully walking over to their sides, you couldn’t help but feel the burning gazes of the others on your back. Even though your attire was suitable for the job – black pants with black shirts and leather jacket, you looked no different than the other Snakes. Still, the weight of the stares still made you feel naked, uncomfortable with a tingly breeze.

You pushed that feeling down; pushed all your insecurities down into your toes, lifting a shadow mask of arrogance to your features and movements instead.

During the two days that were given to your team, you memorized the faces of the princes, along with their names and background, so it didn’t require much effort for you to lead each of the younger ones into the formation sketched on the piece of paper in Taeil’s hand.

“Prince Mark, you will be in the front,” you said as you tried to soften your voice as much as possible, leading the prince away from everyone, placing him a few steps away from the small crowd, facing towards the two enormous thrones at the end of the room.

“Princes Jaemin and Donghyuck,” turning around, you waved them over to you. As they approached you scanned them over and clicked your tongue approvingly. Seemingly, all of them were in extremely good shape, their maturing bodies lean and tall – all taller than you if it wasn’t for your high heeled boots. “You will be next to each other behind Prince Mark, and make sure to remember that Prince Jaemin is on the left, while you, my dear prince,” you huffed while switching their positions with your arms, “are to the left.”

Turning around you waved the remaining two youngsters, Chenle and Renjun, over.

Renjun was slightly skinnier and shorter compared to the others, but you noticed the silent, thrumming power his body moved with. Laying each your hands on their shoulders, you moved them to their right positions.

“Prince Chenle, you will be behind Prince Jaemin and Prince Renjun…you’re over here.”

Turning around, you nodded at Taeil who was waiting for you to finish.

“Your Highnesses, this will be the formation you will need to remain in every single time we go somewhere, understood?”

The princes nodded once, their attentions tight on the short man.

“We will be by your sides at all times, and it is extremely important for you princes, that you locate and remember the Diamond Snake member closest to you. Here,” he waved at the others and all of the Snakes quickly made their ways over to you and the boys.

You all stood at your assigned place, according to Taeil’s plans. The princes looked around, remembering your faces and positions and you caught as Chenle and Renjun looked back, Yukhei’s form towering over their bodies.

“Hello Y’Highnesses!” he boomed, and a small laugh escaped your lips as the two princes jumped slightly upon hearing the volume of his voice. “My name is Yukhei and I will protect you!”

Whipping your head back to the front you made eye contact with Doyoung on the other side of Jaemin and Donghyuck. He cringed, and so did you.

You glanced back at the King who was observing your formation with something like a satisfied glint in his eyes.

“Yes. Yes. I like it, very much. Seems like it is well-secured and safe.” He said, his voice letting out a friendly grumble. Taeil fought with a proud smile, and you grinned at him. No wonder he was the brain and planner of the group.

“There is one more thing, and we are good to go. Our tech expert, as you know, Winwin is in the basement with the team you have provided him with. At this very moment they are locating all the surveillance cameras around the school and its area, so in case anything happens, not only us but them as well will be helping us out with clear ways.”

The King nodded yet again.

“Here,” Kun spoke up then, from in front of you. He held five little wired straps earpieces in his palms. “Put them in your right ears, like this,” he turned around and showed it. “Make sure it doesn’t block your actual hearing but you’re still able to communicate with people who have the same piece.”

Taking one out of his hands you quickly placed it in yours, then glanced at Jaemin, who was looking at the small black thing with a hesitant expression.

“Here, let me help you,” you reached out and took it out of his hand. You ignored his little jump when your skins made contact. Smoothing his light hair out of the way you carefully stuck it behind his ear.

When you retreated to your place two steps away from him, you allowed yourself a glance back –you shouldn’t have.

Your eyes met with Prince Jaehyun’s, his stormy ones glaring relentlessly into yours. You didn’t look away, no, but you felt your insides churn, heat rising into your cheeks. Your heartbeat seemed to have beat louder than before - hopefully Jaemin didn’t hear it. Squinting his eyes, he didn’t break the eye-contact either, only after a couple of seconds, when his gaze wondered down to your hip.  

Reaching down, your fingers brushed over the cool metal of a gun on your belt.

Stiffening lightly, he looked away, leaning towards Yuta who seemed to murmur something into his ears.

Taeil’s voice lowered into blurry, vague murmurs in your brain as you stared outside, through the huge windows of the Throne Room. You could see many things – the enormous fountain in front of the double-winged, ridiculously huge entrance, the circular driveway and the more than a mile-long road, leading the way straight to the palace.

Cars and motorcycles were already lined up, the additional but completely unnecessary bodyguards waiting next to them.

You tried to hide your smile when you thought of the logic – more like the lack of it – behind why celebrities and royalties chose to hire the bulkier protectors. Yes, they have muscles and yes, they might be incredibly strong, but are they quick to react? Are they tactical, are they ready to do anything if something goes wrong? Do they even think two seconds ahead?

Taeil stopped speaking and you looked up – your eyes meeting with Taeyong’s. His deep red locks cast shadows over his eyes, but you saw their glint as he nodded at you. He was ready. The others were ready. Letting something like a shadow of a smile out, you nodded back; you were just as ready as them.

Adjusting your ear-piece, you turned it on, and after a tiny static sound you heard Winwin’s voice.

“Alright Your Royal Highnesses and sons of bitches, this is your captain, Winwin speaking,” you snickered and so did Yukhei from somewhere behind you. From the corner of your eyes, you saw Jaemin’s eyes widen and to your biggest surprise, his eyes crinkled up in amusement.

Seems like not all princes had a stick stuck up in their asses - your mind unconsciously drifted to Jaehyun’s angelic features.

“Winwin,” You heard Taeyong’s low warning murmur through your earpiece, even though he was only a couple of feet away from you. Prince Mark, who was in the front turned back, with eyes bulging out of his skull, and looked at Donghyuck.

“Holy shit, so everyone who’s wearing an ear-piece can hear us talking?!”

Kun chuckled in front of you and nodded.

“Not exactly. Your Majesties’ earpieces only function when there is something wrong. We won’t hear you, but you will hear us if we turn that part of ours on. Our earpieces work multiple ways, but we can talk about that later.” His tone was kind, and for a second your heart fluttered.

“Alright, Taeil, I see your daddy coming out,” muttered Doyoung and you almost choked on air.

Taeyong turned around again and gave a pointed look at Doyoung. The young princes stared at each other in disbelief.

“Anyways, we will depart soon from the palace,” Winwin continued, “and I just wanted to wish you good luck. As I know, the school visit will take three hours. During then, two Snakes will be outside the classroom, the rest is around the building. Ten, you get there before us. Clear?”

“Clear.” You said instinctively, in unison with the other Snakes.

“Highnesses, clear?” Winwin asked again, with more force in his voice.

“Yes, clear.” They repeated hesitantly.

Winwin just hummed, silence following. You heard Yukhei cracking his neck and knuckles, Jisung and Doyoung doing the same.

Taeyong then turned to the King and Queen, and with a respectful nod he said, “we will protect your sons.”

Outside, on the perfect circular driveway the heavyset guards and drivers got into the cars, and you grinned, lazily stretching your body, your arms reaching high above your head. Even though the tucked in black shirt protected your skin from flashing – even though you wouldn’t have mind one bit – the stretching and tight material showed off your curves just right. You ignored the burning glares you got from behind your back, and exchanged a glance with Doyoung, whose fingers danced over all the weapons hidden beneath his clothing.

Him and you were the ones with the most weapons on you, the variety of knives and guns ranging way too long, from size until capacity.

“Masks up, Snakes,” Winwin’s voice instructed and you reached down into your pocket and grabbing the black bandana, placed it in front of your face; the dark material covering your face from under your eyes until your chin. The rest of the Diamond Snake members wore the same thing, your faces unrecognizable, but vision crystal clear.

“Go.”

Upon hearing Winwin’s words through the earpiece, Taeyong started moving immediately, leading the way back towards the double-winged door of the castle, right outside the Throne Room. Mark, who was right behind him followed, his steps unsure just like the rest of the young princes’. Yours, and the Snakes’ however, were in complete unison, striding towards the door, but your bodies not leaving your spots next to the royals.

It was scary, really. The way your frames moved like one, with straight backs and vivid eyes, it was the first time you put your professional masks on in front of the royal family, and the way the King and Queen and the oldest princes’ eyes followed your every movements with something like a dumbfounded recognition in their gazes; you realized it was worth it.

It was worth to accept their offer, it was worth it, just to see the looks in their eyes when they realized who you are – and what you are capable of. That you are more than illegal deals and midnight sniffs of drugs; more than thick bags of money exchanged in dark alleyways. More than thick mists of marijuana and polished stripper poles.

You are fighters; shadows and mists of each other. You are the purr of a predator, a wildcat, just before they struck; the swiftness of the hunt, and the precision of the endgame.

So, you held your head up, didn’t quieten the sounds of your heels as you strode past the princes, who stood aside to give your more space. You let your eyes meet with Jaehyun’s and while holding it you saw the icy rage within them – but you did not miss they way the side of his lips curved up, up into a dangerously sharp smirk.

You broke the eye contact, seemingly unfazed, but you were the only one who knew you had the exact same, bitterly edged smile on your lips.

You left the giant room with the vivid memory of his eyes in your brain.

Servant opened all the doors in front of you, the flow of your movements unbreakable.

The cars and bikes awaited you, and Taeyong was quick to instruct everyone.

“Majesties, you’re divided between the two cars. Prince Mark and Prince Renjun, you are in the first one, the rest of you my princes are in the second,” the young royalties were quick to react and got into the cars which were opened by the drivers, the only ones remaining outside. Two bikes next to each other were in the very front of the mass of the vehicles, bodyguards sitting already on them, their faces hidden by helmets.

“Taeil, you’re gonna sit in the first guard car, behind me. I’ll be on the motorcycle behind the first two bodyguards. The princes are in the two following cars behind Taeil, and Kun,” he turned to the consultant with a swift turn, “you will be in the last car. Yukhei, you’re on the bike behind Kun’s car. There will be two additional guards behind you, just so you know.”

Yukhei nodded and did a thumbs up, and you guessed he grinned behind his bandana, because of the crinkles around his eyes.

“Z, and Jeno,” Taeyong turned to the remaining Snakes, the others took off to take their places, “you will be on the left side of the princes’ cars, a bodyguard will be between you guys and one behind you Jeno,” he looked deeply into your eyes, his slit eyebrow hanging low, “don’t trust anyone but yourselves and each other, got it?” you nodded and hurried towards the motorbike.

The vehicle was luxury itself, and you hated to admit it, but your jaw dropped when you saw it in the real. The black metal shone brightly in the early sunlight, reflecting just enough light to make it look perfect. You almost teared up.

Swinging your legs over it, you placed the helmet from the seat on your head and strapped it. You didn’t see on the other side of the dark cars, but you guessed that Doyoung and Jisung had the same positions as you. Comfortably stretching yourself, you leaned over to grab the steering, and unlocking it, you turned the engine on.

“Everyone set?” asked Winwin.

“Z, ready,” you murmured, and the others followed you, their names and status.

“Then, here we go. I will be with you through the whole thing. Majesties, if you see or hear or even feel the slightest like something is off, do not hesitate to check in. Listen to you instincts.”

You heard the royals murmur in agreement.

“Tae, Ten has already left, he will let you know what’s going on. Get it, Snakes. Go.”

Whirring the motor, you put your legs up on the rest and followed the mass of the vehicles.

The bike under you whirred up as you got out of the calm area of the castle, and onto the motorway.

You couldn’t help but let a wide grin out as you felt and heard the wind zipping past you, your body, and for a single second you gave into the intoxicating idea and feeling of freedom. For a second you weren’t Z, one of the most wanted assassins in the kingdom. For a second you weren’t a hired bodyguard for the Royal Family. For a second you weren’t heading towards a new school opening, and there wasn’t a certain dark caramel eyed prince in your mind. For a second you were Y/N, racing on the highways on a luxury black bike into the heart of the capital, not caring about a single thing about the world.

You shook yourself back to present and kept on zipping past cars that had given you way on the already busy motorway. The mass of vehicles, sirens and the little flags on the front of the cars. You caught children stuck to the windows of the backseat, their eyes following the princes’ cars. You caught curious glances from both the driver’s and the passenger seat. Children, teenager, middle-aged or elder – no matter what, smiles seemed to be spread wide on their faces when they saw the small flags, when they realized who just passed by. It amazed you to no end and you weren’t exactly sure why.

 It looked heart-warmingly sweet, the way the children stood outside the brand-new school building, made of yellow bricks with vibrant green grass surrounding it. You didn’t look carefully but you assumed the children’s age ranged from five to maybe fourteen – fifteen.

As soon as you turned off the low humming of your motor, you unclicked your helmet as fast as you could and placing it on the handles, you let your hair fall back into its natural form. You felt the burning gazes on your back, again, but you ignored them as you gracefully lifted your legs over the seat and waited for the princes to get out of the car. Standing close to them, you ran your eyes over the building and its area.

A tiny forest spread a few hundred meters away from the building, with a huge playground and football pitch in front of it. The parking lot was at the front, which was now filled with the mass of cars and bikes you arrived with.

Cheers, so loud you felt the urge to clamp your hands over your ears, erupted when the young princes stepped out. Mark and Renjun were in the front, and they waited with Taeyong for the whole group to get into the formation. Renjun’s waves were extremely graceful, you learned, his slender hands outstretched towards the cheering students. Mark was a tad more awkward; his waving a bit unsure and shy but joyful – and yes, it was adoration glinting in his eyes when he looked at his people.

As soon as Jaemin got out and fixed his suit you stuck to his side, and Doyoung did just the same with Donghyuck, whose top two buttons were undone under the long, open jacket. You got into the formation and made your way over to the cheering and clapping students and teachers, all eyes missing the dark figure appearing for a second of a heartbeat.

 The opening ceremony wasn’t exciting, really, there was no action whatsoever other than standing in the slight breeze and blinding sunlight. It was at the beginning of the third speech of the day when your widened eyes found Jeno’s, whose exasperated features mirrored yours. He hated staying still just like you, and you knew he regretted the contact as much as you did then. The fact that your clothes were dark as death didn’t help the slow burning of the midday sun. You wished for nothing else than to toss the leather jacket as far away from you as possible and take an ice-cold shower. Jeno seemed to be in the exact same state, blowing strands of pitch black hair out of his eyes with nothing but pure irritation.

“Education is a gift for everyone who wishes to live with it; knowledge is power, and speaking in the name of the Royal Family, I am more than glad to be able to raise an institute for the future astronauts, teachers, writers, the future dreamers of our kingdom,” Renjun spoke softly but confidently into the microphone on the small podium behind the building.

You sighed and forced the bitter smile creeping upon your lips down, even though no one would’ve known about it from the mask, except for you.

Education is a gift – if you have a chance.

Thoughts of you and others huddling together in the freezing cold in a narrow alleyway, a torn cup laying at your feet, with two blunt coins in it flashed in your mind; followed by a familiar sour taste in your mouth. If you could, you would’ve burned a hole right into the grass beside the podium. God, you hoped karma will get Taeyong somehow for making this dumb decision.

After the speeches, everyone moved into the building – divided by classes, each class with a prince; to spend time with them. The whole thing was a blur, now that you look back. Your senses almost collapsed, your eyes moving around rapidly, hand absentmindedly hanging by your hidden gun – no one knew what could’ve happened. Of course, you were in Jaemin’s class, rooting in the corner there was nothing you wished more than to disappear. You felt eyes on you, yes, but they weren’t burning holes into your skin – more like a tingling, light feeling. You caught the eyes of a little girl; she couldn’t have been more than five years old. Her hair was light, put into two tiny ponytails on the sides of her head.

The doll which she held tightly in her hands hung almost lifelessly beside her body as her eyes stuck to you – you swore you could see stars, galaxies in them. Her face was tilted, mouth slightly agape. It was only one step she took towards you – one step was enough for you to stiffen, your back pressing more into the wall behind you. There was no potential danger in the situation though, not for you. Never for you.

She took one more step towards you, her mouth curving into a something like a goofy, dimpled smile – but then she was grabbed from your sight.

The nanny, caretaker, whatever was that cranky bitch’s name, lifted her up, her eyes glaring into your direction – they were ice cold, merciless and somewhat the weight in them sucked the breath out of you. You watched as she carried the little girl away from your direction, and your chest seemed to feel heavier and lighter at the same time. You exhaled a long sigh you didn’t know you had been holding.  

The Snakes have rules – and one of them is not to get attached to anyone; sexual partner, long-lost-but-suddenly-found family member, anyone else outside the gang. You never seemed to have trouble obeying that rule, you didn’t know – didn’t want to know anyone else outside the gang, your only family were the Snakes and you left your – nightly adventures’ beds before the sun’s rays could even hit a corner of the rooms.

When a voice sounded from your earpiece, you jumped more than you wanted to.

“It’s Ten. Something’s going on.”

Your senses perked up, straightening up your eyes moved around the classroom rapidly.

“Where?” you asked, your voice restrained so no one in the small classroom would hear it.

“The woods,” Ten murmured, “there are a lot of movements behind the trees.”

You moved to the window, swerving between children, too occupied with their toys and games. The window gave you a direct view at the small forest and squinting your eyes you searched for the smallest stirs. You felt a couple of curious glances in your way – honestly, you weren’t surprised one bit; the midnight, practical clothes on you drew a bitter contrast against the childish atmosphere of the playroom.

You jumped slightly when you felt a hand tap your shoulder lightly.

“Is everything all right?” Jaemin asked, voice soft as a night breeze.

Chewing on your bottom lips you slightly inclined your head to the side.

“I don’t know,” you murmured back, “Ten just checked in. He saw movements behind the trees.”

Jaemin exhaled and let a forced smile out when he saw people kept glancing your way.

“What should I do if something happens?”

“Haven’t we sent you the rules?” you barked back, and you heard him suck in a breath behind you.

“Your Majesty,” you added.

“Yeah but – I don’t know I just had to ask.”

His voice was still soft, and for a spare second you regretted your harsh reaction.

“You stick with me, and I will try to get you out – “

“What about the kids?” he interrupted.

“The targets aren’t the students,” you exhaled, trying to keep your calm, your eyes moving continuously.

And then you saw it.

It was just a flash – a flash of a metal. Gun.

“I see them,” you whispered, and you could practically hear Ten rolling his eyes.

“I told you there was something.”

“I just saw it too,” you heard Jisung’s voice, along with the low chirps of the class.

“We need to get out of here. Now.” Taeyong quipped in.

You grabbed Jaemin’s arm, his expensive woollen coat crinkling in your fist, and turned to the nearest caretaker.

Your voice was muffled from the bandana in front of it, but you didn’t bother to remove it.

“You need to listen to me carefully,” you said, grabbing her attention. Her eyes grew larger as you stared into them, your steely gaze holding hers captive. “Make sure that in the next hour, the kids are locked in this classroom, after we leave. Be as quiet as possible, but do not panic under any circumstances. If necessary, block the doors with tables. Do not let anyone in. Understand?”  

Her face remained bewildered but nodded, slowly, uncertainly.

“I need your words, miss.” Your voice was harsher than intended, but you didn’t care. You had to, needed to keep the children safe.

“Yes. Yes, I understand,” she said, her voice trembling. You were sure she knew what was going on.

Nodding, you didn’t let go of Jaemin’s coat as you basically dragged him out of the classroom.

“What’s going on?” he asked, looking around frantically.

“Keep close to the wall,” was your only answer, your hand reaching for one of the guns in your belt. Your senses were now as sharpened as they could be, the smallest of the movements or sounds catching your attention.

Your gut twisted for a second when you saw the neighbouring classroom’s door getting slammed open by Taeyong, who had a steel grip on Mark’s arm; similar to yours and Jaemin’s. Your eyes met for a brief second and he grabbed his gun too, hanging it next to his body.

The wall opposite to the classrooms was made of glass – giving you a clear sight out at the parking lot. One by one, each classroom opened, only to be shut close right after, just two people stepping out and sticking to the wall. The corridor was empty, not even a single soul outside, only the Snakes and the princes – and the echoes you made.

“Ten? What’s going on out there? Is it clear?” Taeyong asked, his voice strained. There was a moment of silence on the line, you could only hear the breathing through the line.

Then, Ten whispered, “it is way too quiet.”

Taeyong and you exchanged a look.

“Maybe we should start moving outside, slowly.” Kun said from the front, from beside the very first classroom on the long hallway.

“Guys wait,” Ten’s voice rang through your ear from the earpiece, “can you see the additional bodyguards?!”

Shit.

There was no one around the cars, waiting for you, or behind the wheels of the cars.

“Fuck, there is no one,” said Yukhei, and his grip on Chenle’s arm tightened. Furrowing your eyebrows, you looked carefully around.

“Winwin you didn’t see anything?” you asked, and for a spare second, there was only silence.  

“Yeah wait,” the Chinese tech expert said then, “I’m looking back on the security cameras. Until then, stay invisible. Duck, if possible.”

At once, all of you switched sides, crouching under the windows; the sounds of your heartbeats were getting stronger by each passing minute. Your guts twisted – just like every time before you got into a fight but you embraced the feeling with your whole heart. Your breath trembled and so did your fingers, but this was what made you feel alive, what made you feel like you were worth something. It meant you were going to prove something – and this time, not for anyone but the princes.

“I see them,” Winwin said then, interrupting your thoughts, and you stiffened. “They are behind the building and behind that small building by the parking lot.”

“We are surrounded, and the additional bodyguards are down. I can see their bodies from here. Not pretty.” Ten added.

“Tell the princes to turn their earpieces on,” Winwin quipped, and you obliged along with the others, reaching behind the young princes’ ears.

“This is not going to end well,” Taeil murmured then, and your lips pressed into a thin line. Well, if he was going into it with that kind of mindset, it wasn’t going to help. At all.

You breathed deeply and thoroughly, calming your senses, clearing your mind. Your priority wasn’t yourself now – it was Jaemin. You looked back, behind your back where he was cradled into a small ball – fear. Fear shone in his eyes as he looked back up at you. It – moved you, you felt something gripping, clawing at your throat.

“Hey,” you whispered to him, “It’s gonna be like a tag game, okay?”

He listened, inclined his head slightly.  

“We are surrounded but – I’m gonna keep you safe, okay? I need you to trust me.”

“You’re a criminal,” he gulped, “I was warned not to trust you too much – “

“Would you rather trust a criminal who is set out to kill you, or would you trust one who is payed to keep you safe? Both are criminals, Your Highness.”

He shut his mouth, pressed it into a tight line. You weren’t sure what to do, what else to say, but nonetheless you gripped his hand and pressed your thumb into his palm.

“It’s gonna be okay,” you murmured, to him, or to yourself – it didn’t matter.

“I have them located,” said Winwin then, his voice making you jump.

“It’s hard to keep track of them, they keep moving,” Ten choked, his voice unsure, for all his attention was on the happenings around the new school building.

“Can you identify them?” Taeyong asked, peeking out the window, fidgeting with his gun. You glanced outside too – but saw nothing.

“No,” Ten whispered, and for a second there was a static sound on the line, “They are in full black, like us. No sign of which gang.”

“Can they see you?” asked Jeno, crouching with Renjun under two windows left. Ten’s murmured “of course not” was as silent as the slice of a knife.

“I called the King’s Department. A bunch of special agents, support and shit. They should be on their ways now,” said Winwin, and you saw Taeyong rolling his eyes.

“That’s not gonna help jackshit if we are not in contact with them. They would be good for distraction.”

You turned to Jaemin and grabbed a knife from your boot.

“Here,” you said and slipped it into his hand, “keep it, if anything happens to me and you need to protect yourself.”

The chirping of the kids from back behind the classrooms reached your ears in waves of grumbles, as if you were underwater. You were surrounded, yes. But every single group had a weakness, no matter how secure they were in terms of skills and weapons and men.

Your gaze locked with Doyoung’s from in front of you. He knew that too, and his eyes narrowed into slits as he realized it – you needed to outsmart them.

“I have an idea,” you said then.

All attention was on you then, and complete silence took over the Snakes, the princes, and the occasionally static-interrupted line too. They were listening, and so you talked.

 Thirty-four minutes later the air was still as death, the wind carried no sound as you lay flat on your stomach by the corner window of the building, inside. Your palms turned clammy from the way you had your hand locked around the grip of the gun. You had no reason to worry – there was two other guns hidden under your clothes, along with three knives and five shuriken.

No, the reason why your heart was beating faster was because the princes were heading out towards the exit of the school – fully conscious of the hidden, crouching figures hidden in the woods, behind the building.

You exhaled and adjusted the earpiece.

“Anything?” you asked, your eyes moving around continuously.

“Z, stop worrying. If they were gonna kill them, they would’ve been dead already,” Yukhei murmured then added with a snicker, “girl you need to get laid, there is too much tension in you.”

“Shut it, Yukhei,” you seethed, and you heard the low snicker on the line.

“I mean, he ain’t wrong,” Doyoung added and you exhaled slowly. Count to ten, count to ten, count to ten.

The princes walked slowly towards the cars – acting as if they haven’t noticed the missing chauffeurs. Just how you told them to do so. They were good, really, their calm remained, there was no panic visible on their angelic features. Maybe, only if you glanced in their eyes for a longer time would you able to see the tint of fear and uncertainty.

Soon, they walked out of the protection of the walls, their steps echoing on the concrete of the parking lot.

“Get ready, guys,” said Winwin then, his voice choked from the intense attention he was paying to the security cameras placed around the building. You watched from behind your cover, and wiped your hands in the dark, smooth material of your jeans. The bandana seemed like a bad idea now, and you tried to keep your breathing calm and slow instead of quick and panicked.

Doyoung and Ten were up on the roof -   it was a long and difficult process really, getting him up through the emergency ceiling exit of the school; based on how much he kept on whining you were sure the young princes had lost all respects they had in him before that.

You kept fidgeting as you stared at their retreating backs. Get in the cars, get in the cars, get in the cars.

“Anything?” Taeyong whispered from somewhere on the second floor.

“Nothing,” Doyoung answered and you sighed. Too calm, this was too calm. You kept your eyes on the tiny glint of metal between the trees – your eyes did not waver.

The princes were by the car when you first saw the movement – but wasn’t from the trees, no.

From behind your back.

You caught the person’s hand right before he could strike down a knife and blocking the way of his arm with your own, you used his impetus to yank him down on the ground.

“THEY’RE HERE!” you screamed and elbowed the dark clothed man on his temple as hard as you could.

Then you ran.

Outside, out of the building, your heart beating fast, your mind revolving around one thing – the safety of the royals. The other group – the one from the woods - was already outside, a wave of obsidian surrounding, blocking the princes’ ways, along with Kun and Taeil. On your way out, you saw Yukhei running in parallel with you, from the opposite direction. His long legs helped him much more than your heels did for you, but it was fine – you were trained like him. Jeno joined you on your other side and the three of you sprinted – the wind zipped past your ears.

“Tae! Get their other side!” you panted. You didn’t hear his reply, if he had any, all your senses were focused on the surrounded princes.

The other group was almost like yours – almost. They were covered in black as well, their jackets, their pants, their boots. Everything, except for the mask.

Their mask was blood red.

Your rapid pants heated your bandana up, you were almost suffocating, but you didn’t care. You held your gun in your hand, so tight almost like your life was depending on it – though it kind of was. Taeyong’s crimson hair emerged from the opposite side of the circle created a few steps away from the car. You should have been faster, should have –

“Who are you?!”

The yell echoed in the empty lot, and you looked at the man, supposedly the one who demanded. You stopped, along with Yukhei and Jeno next to you; the boys distanced away from you, from each other in opposite directions. Jisung stalked closer, his light bangs almost reaching the edge of his bandana as he stared the strangers down from below his eyelashes.

Then it hit you; the strangers were not the slightest aware of who you were. You exchanged a quick glance with Yukhei, whose brows furrowed for a single second. Jeno brushed his dark locks away from his eyes as he tightened his grip on his own gun, lowered down, pointing to the ground by his legs.

Your eyes met with Jaemin’s then, who caught your sight after he turned around completely. His eyes were slightly bigger, shining with concern; but not panic. You kept his gaze and shook your head slightly.

Don’t move.

He gulped, visibly, and turned back. You could only hope he understood.

“There is no one else, no one is covering their asses, boy, they must be beginners,” Ten whispered, his voice soft in the echoes of your earpiece.

You stood a couple of feet away, along with the others, Yukhei, Jeno, Jisung and Taeyong.

Fuck. Five against ten does not come with advantages in combat, even if you were covered by the two best sharpshooters.

They were all men, you noticed then, built heavily and bulkily. Unlike you, they stood with their legs closer, rooted to the concrete like trees.

“They must be beginners. They don’t even know who we are,” you murmured, then fixed your gaze on the man who spoke up again.

“I asked you a question, thugs! Who are you?” his voice was loud and strong, and his eyes kept jumping from your frame to the others’.

Your gazes met with Taeyong’s and he lifted his slit eyebrow at you. A challenge.

You smirked and readjusted your grip on your gun. The cool metal smoothed your roaring blood, calmed your senses.

“We are the night, stranger,” you spoke up, making sure your voice was no more than a lover’s whisper, no more than the slice of a knife through skin. “We are your fear, your nightmare, your destiny.”

“Z, your dramatic speeches start to creep me out – “you heard Ten mutter but Doyoung shushed him. You didn’t pay attention to them, your focus was on the man now, who found your frame, and his eyes widened in surprise.

“A woman?! Is this a joke?” his voice wavered slightly as a chuckle erupted from between his lips.

Your eyebrows lifted gracefully, and you stared back.

“Oh shit, he’s dead,” Doyoung muttered.

Yes, there were things that pissed you off to no end; when your makeup got ruined by one of the boys, when you found out that one of your best dresses were ripped, or when someone sabotaged your missions.

But there was nothing that pissed you off more than this.

Someone underestimating you because of your gender. You know, however, that there was no point in getting yourself worked up over it; it wasn’t you who ended up with a twisted neck or a hole in their foreheads at the end of the day.

It did, however, boil your blood and reddened your vision.

“He’s mine,” you snarled, and you could hear Taeyong letting out a low sigh from the other end of the circle.

The men with red bandanas squirmed as they weren’t exactly sure what to do. Such amateurs, you thought, leaving no one behind to guard their backs.

“Don’t make a bloodbath, guys,” Winwin spoke then, his voice gloriously bored, “There are kids not far from you. It takes ages to get the blood out of concrete.”

“I’m gonna ask one more time, who the fuck are you?” the man shouted again, and you were sure you heard a tinge of panic coating his voice.

“We should be asking the same thing,” Taeyong spoke up then, his voice softer than the silk sheets back in the palace, and you let out a small smile upon hearing it; the only times he used this voice when he was about to let his rage out – so similar to yours; and that was the best thing anyone could witness.

“Who is your Entruster?” Taeyong asked again and the man chuckled, his voice hoarse and raspy; it sent shivers down your spine.  

“None of your business, thug,” he said that word as if it was supposed to be provoke you.

Jeno tilted his head, thin strands of his raven hair falling back into his eyes.

“You keep saying that word; thug. Is that what you are?” his words and the meaning behind them was crystal clear, even though they were muffled by the bandana in front of his lips. Almost all of them stiffened and you saw their leader’s eyes go red with rage.

There we go.

You stayed motionless, unfazed as he grabbed a prince closest to him, Mark.

The prince’s eyes went wide as the stranger pressed a knife to his throat, tight enough to graze his fair skin. Jaemin whipped around again to look at you, but you didn’t move, keeping your eyes on Mark and his captive.

“Leave,” the man hissed from behind his bandana, “and the little prince won’t have a scratch on him.”

“Boy he really does know nothing, who the hell are they?” Ten murmured again, his voice muffled in your earpiece.

But you didn’t listen to the Masterspy, for the whole of your attention was on the men with blood coloured bandanas; you felt the mists of anger slowly taking over your senses. It usually crept its way in your throat with burning laziness; covering your senses with this calm bubbling but it was different then.

The man’s grip on the knife tightened, and so you pushed down that creeping anger inside you and shifted your weight softly.

“What do we do?” you exhaled and Ten clicked his tongue.

“On three, Jeno, you get the bastard off Prince Mark, and stall him, but don’t kill him yet. We need to get out information,” Jeno gave a light incline of his head. “The rest of you, take two other per person. We will shoot as many as we can from up here. Don’t kill, guys. Only injure. Go for legs and arms, okay?”

You didn’t move, waiting for the countdown. And when he last syllables fell off Ten’s lips, that’s when you attacked.

Your instincts kicked in, drove and moved you, and you went with the flow of it. You hurled yourself onto the man in front of you, and when you steadied yourself on his back, that’s when your right leg kicked out, aiming at the person next to you.

The strike made him dizzy and he stumbled forward, not even comprehending what was going on. But then you were already moving, slinging over the man’s shoulder; you let that unconscious, hidden part of your mind lead you – hit after hit, elbow into ribcage, fist up into the chin. He groaned, gripping at his face, but you didn’t stop until he was down.

From your peripheral vision you saw Jeno spinning and throwing punches as if he was something unrestrained – the worst nightmare that had became flesh and bones in front of everyone’s eyes.

A shot went off, and the man holding onto Mark stumbled on the ground, wailing painfully and gripping at his…ass.

It was Doyoung who murmured in a soft, distant voice, “Fuck, only millimetres away from the hole.”

But you couldn’t get their leader – not yet. You glared in the direction of the frozen princes, staring at the unfolding, violent scene in front of them.

You screamed “to the car!” at them before turning back to your previous occupations – your bulky opponents.

Both of them had gained their consciousness back and were now glaring at you with nothing but cloudy fury in their eyes. They didn’t see the vicious grin on your mouth before you hurled towards them again.

You were like Jeno – a whirlwind of everything deadly; misty shadows, unclear but sharp movements.

You were faster, more dexterous than the two meat-mountains standing as if they were a part of the ground underneath them. Whipping two knives out you stalked towards them; one graceful step after another. They pulled out knives too – not as pretty and sharp as yours but it could’ve worked. If they used it against someone who was not you.

Then you pounced; movements rhythmic as a panther’s, calculative like a snake’s. That’s what you were, right? Snake.

You striked to the left first; a slice deep enough to draw blood but light enough not to cut muscle. The other hurled himself at your frame, his slow, heavy movements in perfect contrast against your own. You blocked his attempted stab at your abdomen with you lower arm, twisting his hand until his eyes shut tight in pain. Then you let go and used his momentary slowness to hit his groin with you knee – he howled, gripping at the pained area.

You exhaled, and that was when the punch came, straight into the back of your right ribcage.

You groaned and whirled back around in an attempt to protect yourself, but you were late. The man gripped you by your hips and slammed you back into the ground with a painful thud. The air kicked itself out of your body and you wheezed softly.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

You heard a faint yell of Yukhei’s, he screamed your name but you ignored it and rolled away from the forceful stab that was coming in your direction.

They were slow – but they were ruthless. Your vision became blurry and the dull pain throbbed through your body, but you pushed yourself back up – just in time to block another attack.

He flung his right arm – the one with the knife again, but you ducked and grabbed that arm, using his own force to pull him down.

Falling onto the ground he huffed again and jumped back up but a kick into his side slumped him back. You kicked his side repeatedly, his groin, anything your leg reached but he didn’t give up trying to get back up on his feet again.

So, you hurled at him, again, onto the ground, gripping at your knife as if it was a lifeline.

There was now pure adrenalin and rage working in you, your vision was blurred with the continuous movements – you followed your senses, instincts. You kicked and clawed and bit anywhere you reached. The knife fell out of your hand when he blocked one of your attacks with his own – the clear, clinking noise on the concrete rang in your ears.

You couldn’t ask Doyoung or Ten to shoot him, no. You and the man were struggling – rolling on the ground with neither of you giving up. His stony relentlessness made your own fire up, and you kept on clawing at his face, and his body – any surface that was not covered with thick black clothing.

And then he was gone.

By gone, you meant literally gone. Your vision was clear enough to see him jumping off you in hurry, and running, sprinting in the direction of the woods.

What the fuck.

The breath that escaped your mouth was ragged, your chest was heaving rapidly, and you couldn’t find it in yourself to get up and run after the escaped, running group.

“What’s going on?” you could only hear Taeyong’s voice faintly, the low drums of your heartbeat closed off every other noise.

You were still hazy, your vision still blurry as you stared up at the clear sky.

You sensed Yukhei kneeling next to you and asking how you were feeling while laying a hand on your abdomen – you weren’t sure if it really did happen, though. You weren’t sure what was imagination and what was reality; slowly but steadily you felt yourself getting lighter.

There were colours, though – a lot of them. Even with your blurred vision, the azure blue of the sky and the dirty blond of Yukhei’s hair was blindingly clear. His eyes. His doe eyes were widened as he was studying your face, was it really worry etched onto his angelic features? Angelic, yes, he really was angelic unless he was doing some kind of experimentation - either in the lab with his chemicals or with the fragile heartstrings of innocent women.

You softly chuckled to yourself when you remembered the incident three years ago.

His voice was laced with concern, or was it laughter? You weren’t sure, but you remembered him repeating your name. It did bring you back from your memories, and then you saw colours again. Woven together, dancing in front of your eyes – they were all soft, peaceful shades.

The last one of them you saw was the crimson red, dripping off Yukhei’s hand as he lifted his hand from your stomach – and the soft, clear shade of his brown eyes before everything lost colour, and black took over your vision.

part i  part ii

[roscoexsykes-blog]

Farlo Bene || Roscita

Time & Place: October 12th, 2018. Rome, Italy  Summary: Roscoe makes the vow to be there for Rita and their new little family during their vacation in Italy.  Trigger Warnings: None, just a bunch of fluffy romance.

@theycallme-rita

ROSCOE:

Roscoe was...in the simplest words - so fucking excited to be in Italy. It had always been something they’d talked about, and joked about with one another. Italy is great this time of year was one of Roscoe’s favorite things to say whenever something went tits up in Swynlake, and honestly? After the entire fiasco with the Hunger Games, and with this baby, and DeSoto? They all just needed to get the hell out of England.

So when Rita had seriously suggested it? Roscoe didn’t hesitate to agree - even going as far as to agree completely for Oliver and his girlfriend to come along to. Was...it potentially a bit of a liability to bring a fifteen year old girl with Oliver to a new country? Probably. Did he care? No. Kept the kid happy at least. Besides, he had a list of things those two could do to stay out of trouble, but he figured they’d be fine on their own. As long as they checked in with Rita a few times a day, he was sure she’d be content.

Today however, he’d basically handed Oliver a bit of cash and told him to do something nice today - since he needed to keep Rita occupied all day himself. He had been serious when he joked to himself about renewing their goddamn vows once they had gotten their shit together. So why not here in Italy? He hadn't talked about it with Rita, but that was part of the charm of it all. A surprise renewal - a chance to do it right. Other than the quick courthouse agreement they'd originally had.

The man had taken his wife out to a nice brunch, a quaint little mom and pop place overlooking the beautiful landscape and when they'd gotten back to their hotel room, Roscoe had simply advised Rita to get ready for a… fancy sort of occasion. God knew he didn't want her coming back at him later and teasingly yelling at him for not preparing her to look her best for something so important. He even looked rather decked out himself, standing my the mirror fixing his tie, before folding up his sleeves to just below his elbows.

“... Y’almost ready, Ri?”

RITA:

Rita was in love with Italy. There was no other way to put it. Not only did it brighten Roscoe’s face but it was beautiful. The culture could be seen in every building, the people were so friendly and welcoming, there was an ease about it that just felt so different from Swynlake and New York. She could really see herself settling down there. Finding a little cottage with Roscoe to raise their baby. Ollie could go to one of the schools. It’d be simple.

But she knew that eventually she’d get bored of easy living. She liked the fast pace of New York and Swynlake. Liked the community.

That didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy every second of Italy. The fact Roscoe seemed to know all sorts of off the tourist map places only made it that much sweeter. She’d done the tourist thing with Ollie and Isa, had taken so many pictures for her albums. It had been fun and enjoyable; but she couldn’t say she didn’t crave the alone time with Roscoe. The way his hand would gravitate towards her stomach in quiet moments or the oh so appealing way he would stuff his own face with such a large grin… she couldn’t remember a time where he looked more boyish— or happy.

Their day had been easy and quiet; a nice brunch with one of the loveliest little couples she’d seen yet. They had regaled them with age old wisdom and fed them til Rita felt she was bound to burst. But it was good for the bambino; or so the elderly woman had told her with a warm smile.

Not the best condition to be slipping into a nicer outfit but Rita did her best. She was curious as to what her husband had up his sleeve.

She was almost ready when his voice called out and she gave an amused laugh. “Just need help zipping up,” she called back, slipping from the room in the long yellow dress she’d decided would be proper for whatever it was he had planned. “Help me?”

ROSCOE:

The corner of his lips tilted up when he heard her response, brown hues glancing over himself one last time before his attention was caught by the flash of color behind him in the mirror. For a moment, the man didn’t turn, but simply observed his wife as she entered the room, the beautiful dress honestly making her look like she could easily fit in as a princess. Letting his smile grow, Roscoe finally turned away from the mirror, gesturing for the woman to come stand in front of him as he stepped back and made room.

“Never used t’understand how yous all get ready for dates all alone.” He teased, gently brushing her soft curls around her shoulder and away from the zipper of the dress, his fingers lingering upon the nape of her shoulder for only a moment before they dropped with a sigh. “...or is this why women always get together with their girlfriends before somethin’ big. Zip each other up n’fix each other’s hair n’all that.”

Which honestly he thought was a women’s thing. It seemed to happen at least - and not just in movies. However now he was only kidding, gently poking fun as he finally let his hands carefully work the zipper up, taking caution not to pinch hair, skin or fabric between the teeth as he did so. Once it settled into place, hues raised once more over the woman’s shoulder, taking in her appearance in the mirror again as he felt his smile grow at the very image.

“Yous so fuckin’ beautiful.” He spoke quietly after a second, fingers ghosting along her hip gently as he took in the image of the both of them together - content in the fact that they even appeared so much more healthy now. Like happiness wasn’t just some far fetched dream for either of them.

RITA:

Honestly, not very many outfits Rita wore were complicated. This dress just gave in all the right places and it didn’t make her feel as bloated as the other ones she had. Why a dress, one might ask. Well, for her, at the moment anyways, they just fit better. There wasn’t any discomfort around her growing midsection and they weren’t nearly as hot as a pantsuit would have been. Plus the chances for her to dress up like this were very rare and this was Italy. One of the most romantic places on Earth.

But Roscoe was right. She needed a team to put this look together. She’d settle for Roscoe, though, because even as he zipped up the back of her dress the action was tender. It wasn’t as if his touches had never been tender before. Rita hadn’t ever wanted them to be so tender or full of love. That wasn’t what their arrangement was. It had only taken a few life or death situations and indiscretion on both parts for her to realize that.

She caught as his gaze lingered on them, a soft smile playing on her lips as she leaned into him. “Yous forget I lived with a buncha guys who did that kinda shit for me,” she answered easily, unable to hide the teasing from her tone. “Course, they weren’t as kind about it as yous. Can’t tell yous how many times I got pinched ‘fore I learned not t’buy them with zippers.”

It was easy to turn in Roscoe’s arms with how they were standing and as she did her arms lifted to wrap around his shoulders, fingers tangling softly in the hair at the nape of his neck. “We’s a good lookin’ couple, ya know. M’gonna have to beat all them old ladies off yous. Theys gonna wanna take you home t’their granddaughters or somethin’.” Rita leaned up them to press her lips to his softly. “I love yous. But are you ever gonna tell me where we’re goin’?”

ROSCOE:

A laugh slipped past the man’s lips, remember unfortunately that yes she’d always had that idiot little ragtag street gang to help her with things such as this. Honestly it wasn’t all that hard to imagine one of them impatiently ripping the zipper up her back or side, catching skin and hair and muttering a quick ‘oops shit sorry’ with a snicker - mostly because it was what he’d see himself if he was a younger teen and was asked to do that for a woman. “..M’surprised it took yous so long to figure that out in that case.” He spoke with another chuckle, letting the woman spin easily in his arms as tightened his grip around her waist.

“Oof… yous right.” The older man spoke, pressing his forehead to Rita’s own as he rolled his eyes fondly. “Gonna have to disappoint a whole lot of nonnas on this trip.” Since all of their granddaughters could go pound sand as far as he was concerned. He’d found his perfect fit - and fuck if he was gonna let her go.

Easily returning Ri’s kiss, Ros tilted his head slightly with a hum, fingers brushing over soft fabric as he rocked the pair of them ever so slightly - as if in step with his own thoughts. “...I love yous too…” He started, pulling back to see her expression before he gave a small nod. “...but absolutely not… Kinda a secret.” That was half the fun, after all. Just like the whole Prom thing; where he’d dragged Rita to Duchess’ house without informing her of that entire portion of the surprise. There was something far too endearing about the woman’s face when she was surprised, and Roscoe wasn’t trying to lose any opportunities to see that priceless expression line her features.

“I promise you’ll love it though.” Since...even if she thought the area was awful (which.. Would be a very hard feat to accomplish) he had full confidence that she’d enjoy the general idea behind what they were doing.

RITA:

“I was young and stupid,” she countered with a pout. It hadn’t happened too often. Mainly when Dodger or Tito did it. Which was why she often had Einstein or Francis do it. They were gentler, more considerate of the fact she preferred not to have red welts on her skin. Bad for business. Or maybe that was exactly why Dodger and Tito did it…

Part of Rita thought that she’d be able to weasle some sort of hint out of Roscoe. But he was being so tight lipped about it. As tight lipped as he had been about his plans for prom. It was bullshit but she understood wanting to plan a surprise. She just really wanted to be in on the secret. “Are yous sure I can’t even have a tiny hint? What if I don’t wear the right shoes?”

It was hardly an excuse but she figured that maybe just maybe he’d take pity on her poor feet. A good evening could be ruined without the proper shoes.

When it became apparent he wasn’t going to give anything up she gave a soft sigh and pulled away from him, giving him a smile as she moved towards the bathroom. There were just a few last touches she needed to do before she was actually ready. It was just hard to get ready when her husband was out there looking so goddamn handsome. All she wanted was to stay locked in the room with him while Ollie and Isa were out doing whatever it was they were doing.

As if on cue, her phone buzzed and Rita glanced down at it with a smile as she saw Ollie’s face on it. Quickly finishing her make-up, she flicked up the screen and chuckled at the selfie she saw of Ollie and Isa. “Kids are having a good time. Did they say anything t’yous about what they were doin’ today?” She moved from the bathroom again, showing Roscoe the picture. Easily she leaned into his side, head resting just slightly against his shoulder. “And m’finally ready. Ain’t doin’ no blindfold. That’s just a touch to creepy, babe.”

ROSCOE:

“..Wear shoes you’re comfortable wearing.” He replied easily, a smirk appearing on his lips as he raised a brow in response to the woman’s pout that was slipping through her features. He knew she didn’t like being a part of the plan, but..there were times when it was worth it to be a little less than clear about his intentions. Even if he wanted nothing more than to burst with the details - he was honestly pretty goddamn nervous, after all. For what reason? He wasn’t too sure, but Roscoe could still feel the slight tightness in his stomach, as if there was some sort of fear deep inside him that he’d mess this up.

A lot of work had gone into to something he’d tried to keep relatively simple...but what if she didn’t like it? This was for her, after all. It would have been a shame to see her expression twist in disappointment.

Fortunately something told him that wouldn’t be the case. Watching after the other as she twisted away and returned to the bathroom made him laugh, eyes only returning to the mirror after she was completely out of his sight. Fingers returned to his tie, adjusting it slightly before he pressed a hand into his pocket - brushing carefully over the velvet box that laid within the folds of material as if to remind himself that it was still there. That would be a very important piece of this puzzle in due time.

Rita’s words broke him from his thoughts, glancing towards the screen and rolling his eyes (actually fondly though) at the picture of Oliver and his girlfriend. “Well...I mean would you believe me if I told yous I paid ‘em off t’do whatever they wanted tonight?” He spoke, tone teasing even if that’s pretty much exactly what he’d done. “...otherwise no. I guess you’ll just have to get that story from him later.” Not that Roscoe wasn’t positive she absolutely would tomorrow. He was sure the trio of them would catch up easily over breakfast. “...no blindfolds? Y’sure? Shit’s kinky ain’t?”

A laugh escaped him as he let his hand rest around her back, pressing a quick kiss to her temple before he moved to escort her from their room, leading her down the hall as he pushed a sigh from between his lips. “Good news though…” He spoke again after a moment, pressing the call button for the elevator, and stepping into it as it arrived, mischievous gaze landing upon his wife as he leaned against the wall of the lift. “...We don’t have to go too far, right?” Words were spoken as he pressed the button within the elevator - however instead of pressing the button to lead them down to the lobby, instead the man had simply pressed the very top one, marked easily to identify not a floor of suites, but...rather a floor that would lead towards the roof. Or at least… easily identifiable to a man that understood the letter combination along the metal.

RITA:

Those words were not helpful at all and Rita frowned just a bit as she stared at the shoes she’d brought. She hadn’t brought any real heels. They hurt her feet and probably weren’t too good for her anymore. But they still looked nice and she did like them. Still, impractical depending on where Roscoe was taking her. Flats would probably be better. Even though they weren’t ideal for her dress. Hindsight was a shitty thing.

Still, she slipped them on and moved easily with Roscoe out the door. “Paid off Ollie and Isa? This is a big thing.” It made her somewhat suspicious as they headed towards the elevator. What was so important that he had to pay off the kids to not show up? Even when he’d surprised her with a trip to Duchess’ home, he hadn’t had the need to keep Ollie busy. Maybe that meant that even Oliver didn’t know what was happening. It made her stomach tighten into knots, her hand holding tight to Roscoe’s.

“I’ll let yous blindfold me if you give me a hint.” She smirked up at him as they stepped into the elevator. As the doors slid shut she pressed herself against him, leaning as he pressed a button. For all her wanting to know where they were going, she didn’t pay attention to what button he was pressing. She just assumed that they were going to be making their way to the lobby. It was the only place they’d gone every other time they left the room. Why would it be any different this time?

She looked up at him as the elevator started moving, the direction not the one she was expecting. “We’re not leaving the hotel?” She asked with a raised brow as she pulled away from him just slightly. “You’ve got something up your sleeve and I’m onto yous.”

ROSCOE:

Okay so really Roscoe couldn’t pretend that he wasn’t at least getting some enjoyment out of watching Rita’s suspicions and confusion register across her features. It was like with every word he said to her, more and more cogs were turning trying to process the mystery being laid out in front of her. It was the real reason he pressed his lips tightly together in an attempt to teasingly tell Rita that basically; he wasn’t budging.

She wouldn’t have to suffer for too long, at the very least, which was why this was an event that was told her to rather last minute compared to the amount of time he’d spent planning it. A single brow raised to mirror her own as Rita turned to him with that accusatory gaze, innocence attempting to be displayed on his features, though he was sure it came off as something far more mischievous. He was too much of a trouble maker to even pretend to pull of an innocent look. “What’chu mean?” Ros teased, gesturing to the sides with his hands and glancing down at his arms as if he was looking just for that trick she was so implying. “I even got my sleeves rolled up t’show I’s ain’t hiding nothin’.” Even if that was a blatant lie.

It didn’t take a genius to see he was planning something - though clearly it would require quite the analyst to find out just what that something was.

“Yous just gotta trust me ain’t.” Ros mumbled, raising a hand to brush a strand of the other woman’s hair behind her ear as the elevator chimed with a soft ‘ding!’. “C’mon. Let me show yous something.” He tried, offering the woman his hand with a smile - making sure it was locked in his grip once more before they exited - walking down the narrow, dimly lit hall. At the end simply was a door, one that, once again, clearly displayed the words warning about roof access and needing permission to enter - that Ros simply ignored as he used his free hand to pull a keycard from his pocket. “Y’gotta promise not to get mad though.” He spoke, offering a smile as he swiped the card without waiting for an answer - opening the door and holding it open with a nod of his head for Rita to go.

Thankfully they were right on time, Roscoe could tell just by the way the sunlight filtered through the door when he’d opened it, the warm and dimming rays illuminating their surroundings - but most importantly, creating the most incredible portrait of Roma, and everything beautiful about her; all very much visible right outside the door. That alone was distracting enough he was sure - potentially enough for the woman to bother searching the rooftop for more clues - since there certainly were a few.

RITA:

Roscoe’s sleeves might have been rolled up, showing off the tattoo she loved so much, but she knew there was something he wasn’t telling her. Secrets he was keeping from her for whatever this surprise was. And Rita loved surprises, she did. But mainly she liked planning them. There was something to be said about watching the way someone would light up when the surprise was revealed. It was like watching a sunrise over the city skyline. It was a magical thing and she could see why Roscoe would want such a thing but it was beyond irritating for her.

Still, she let her hands travel up her arms, playing along with the little game she’d accidentally started. “Dunno how much I can believe that,” she hummed, tracing his tattoo slowly. “You’ve got this look, too, yous know. Always gives you away.” After three years of marriage it was easy to tell when the other was up to something. Not that they always called each other out on it. Some surprises were meant to be just that--- a surprise.

It was easy to let that suspicion fade away when his hands were being gentle with her and for a moment she leaned into it, nodding slightly. “Just so long as yous ain’t bringing me up here t’like do me in or somethin’.” She couldn’t help the teasing. It helped ease her own feelings over what was happening. Before she could fully relax into it the elevator was dinging and Roscoe was ushering her out. The hallway was less welcoming as the one to their room and Rita couldn’t help but wonder exactly why she’d needed to get so dressed up. Nothing fancy could after this hallway.

But this was Roscoe. The King of romantic dates and unorthodox surprises.

“Why would I ge---” she trailed off as the door opened and Rita was met with the most beautiful view she’d ever seen. It was like she was seeing the city for the first time. When she’d stepped off the plane she’d been impressed with what she saw but it was nothing compared to this. The sun illuminated everything in its path. It felt as if her breath caught in her throat as she moved closer to the railing on the roof, wanting to be closer to it.

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered, turning to look at Roscoe for a moment before letting her gaze fall back to the view. “Its--- Its gorgeous.”

ROSCOE:

There was a countdown in his head to when Rita would fall into the trap that Roma’s beautiful held. It was almost impossible not to get sucked into it, and so when Rita’s words cut off,  Roscoe couldn’t help but smile, following her gaze and admiring the view that felt so much like home to him. It didn’t matter he’d not grown up here - nor potentially even ever been here. Everything about it spelled home, and with Rita here with him? It might as well have been.

Ros followed her out along the roof, letting her move towards the railing as he hung back slightly, nodding at her words as a small laugh slipped from his lips. “È sempre bello qui…” He responded, honestly not meaning to slip into Italian but it seemed far more fitting here. Flowed much more naturally, and felt right. Even if it was twinged with the accent that pinned him easily to New York. His words were honest though - it was always beautiful here.

Just like Rita.

As just like Roma - Rita was always just as beautiful. While she was busy staring off into the sunset, Roscoe sidestepped slightly, picking up the single red rose that had been left as discussed along a ledge beside the door, fingers gently smoothing over the stalk as he finally joined Rita by the banister, watching the sky for a moment. “I wanted yous t’see the real Italy.” He spoke after another moment, letting his gaze drop to her as he offered her the flower within his hand with a gentle smile - one that was so rare, yet so genuine.

“Figure it’d be the perfect spot…”

RITA:

Rita was lost in the view of Italy. It was hard not to be when the view was this amazing. Roscoe had taken her to some truly beautiful places while they were there. Places that weren’t flooded with tourists and people that didn’t know about them. It was as if she got to see the real Italy. Even if neither of them had actually been there before. With Roscoe, though, it felt like they’d been living there for years now. They should have done this sooner. They should have gotten their shit together before this point. It shouldn’t have taken Swynlake killing both of them in some weird ass dream or them cheating on each other or any of the other terrible things they’d endured since moving to the small town.

No more. She promised herself that they wouldn’t back track. They’d keep on this track. Keep getting better and better. They’d keep this feeling of love and contentment.

She didn’t notice that Roscoe had moved from beside her. Her eyes stayed locked on the view, on Italy. She had no idea what he said other than beautiful but she knew that whatever it was he said, she agreed. Beautiful was the only way that this could be described.

But when his warmth returned, Rita turned to look up at him, that same wonder still written so clearly on her features. “I think you’ve been showin’ me the real Italy the whole time,” she whispered, not wanting to speak too loud in fear of breaking whatever magic there was in the moment. Her smile turned soft as she took the offered rose, wondering where exactly he’d gotten it from. Maybe it was all part of his plan. What even was his plan? Maybe--- Maybe it didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was the fact that both of them were there and in love. She could feel it so warm in her chest.

“The perfect spot for what?”

ROSCOE:

When Roscoe had originally asked Rita to marry him there had been no romance. It hadn’t been cute, or memorable, or even remotely something to cherish. It had simply been a conversation..a agreement that the pair had come to really. It hadn’t been too long after they’d known each other either. Simply put, Roscoe knew had known at the moment that Rita hadn’t seen him the way that he’d seen her - and even then, Roscoe didn’t see Rita the way he did now. It was far more possessive, less love (though there was still love) and more infatuation.

Now however that all seemed so far away. There wasn’t a single situation in which Roscoe could imagine himself without Rita by his side. She was his everything - more now than ever. Who else did he really have if he didn’t have Rita? He’d abandoned his family, and they’d abandoned him in return. His friends were severely lacking, and out of the rare few, there was only one he’d really considered close. One he’d just managed to get right again.

...and it made him realize he’d wanted to make this right again too.

At the woman’s question, Roscoe could only smile - a nervous hint to it as he shrugged his shoulders lightly. A hand reached out, carefully holding the one Rita wasn’t currently holding the flower with as he rubbed a thumb gently over the skin of her palm. “...The perfect spot to… well.” He paused, gaze dropping with another small laugh as he shifted in his spot. “...t’do this, ain’t.” Roscoe finished, giving that hand a small squeeze and moving forward to steal a quick kiss to the woman’s lips.

However that wasn’t his main intentions - and so when he pulled back, Roscoe was sure to keep a hold of the woman’s hand, even as he did the one thing he’d failed to do when he’d asked for Rita’s hand over three years ago. Get down on one knee.

For a moment, it felt incredibly weird - looking up at his wife, as he knelt upon the rough surface of the roof, however… with the beautiful cityscape to their side, and his entire world in front of him, Roscoe couldn’t imagine doing anything else. “I uhm… Y’know I figured we’ve been through an… an awful lot. And...that a hell of a lotta thin’s have changed ain’t? And...most people renew their vows after they get through that kinda thing but…” He trailed off, meeting Rita’s gaze as he offered her a soft smile, thumb still idly tracing the woman’s skin. “...I didn’t want to renew ‘em. I..I wanted to redo ‘em - cause yous mean so fuckin’ much to me, Rita. Everything about yous just… gives me a reason t’get up in the mornin’ y’know? ...and I can’t wait to continue growin’ our family together with yous. I just..I want yous to know that. That I love yous so fuckin’ much I can’t...I mean I can’t even say it enough. ...and that I promise I..I’m always gonna try n’be better for yous. You’re my entire world, Ri, and… I still want t’spend every minute of my life with yous.”

And that was the honest to god’s truth. Something he would never lie about. So as soon as he managed to get the small shake of his hand under control, Roscoe let his hand slip back into his pocket - finally letting go of Rita’s hand in order to present the box towards her - opening it to reveal the ring he’d gotten her. Not so much a wedding ring but… a ring that symbolized their family. No matter how little, and broken - it was everything.

RITA:

There was no words to describe the tenderness of this moment. She still wasn’t sure what Roscoe was doing; whether the sudden tenderness had anything to do with being in Italy or if there was something else behind it all. After all, this side of Roscoe was new to her. All of this was new to her, new to them. Everything leading up to this had been more like an arranged marriage. The two of the coming together because it benefited them. Rita got the security she’d always wanted as well as a good life for Oliver and Roscoe got the pretty girl to dangle off his arm. It wasn’t a fair arrangement but it worked (barely).

But now? Now everything had changed. They’d grown. Both as a couple and as individuals. They weren’t the same people they’d been three years ago when this had started. Moving to Swynlake had probably been one of the best things they could have done. At least for their relationship. Their mental health had suffered greatly but it had ultimately brought them closer. Breaking down those walls that they had both built up before they’d even met each other had been a pivotal point for them. Without it this would have never happened. They would have never made it to Italy, she wouldn’t have ever gotten pregnant. They wouldn’t have been happy.

Her brows furrowed in confusion as he spoke, watching him as he shifted nervously in front of her. “Ros, what’re yo---”

She trailed off as he knelt in front of her, tears immediately clouding her vision. This was actually happening. Roscoe was… He was proposing to her. Properly. Like they did in all the sappy romantic movies. Like people in love did. This wasn’t supposed to be something she’d ever have. The decisions she’d made in her life had made sure of it. All Rita was convinced she’d ever know was a warm body pressed against hers because they’d paid the most. And when she’d married Roscoe it was because he had offered the most. What use was it whining about something as silly as love when she had financial security and her boy taken care of for life? Love wasn’t meant for Rita Saluki.

Yet here Roscoe was, on his knees telling her that he loved her more than anything and that he wanted to do this all right.

A small sob broke past her lips as he stopped speaking and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box. This was all too much; way too much. Rita knew that her husband had a flare for the dramatic. That nothing he did was small. But this? This was more than a necklace because it matched her dress or even a Duchess LaBlanc dress for a silly adult prom. This was a ring with Oliver’s name etched in it, his birthstone with it, and a blank spot for their baby with their projected birthstone next to it. It was so overwhelming as she beamed down at him, eyes watery as she tried to get herself under control. He’d had her put all that effort into getting ready and looking nice and she was ruining it by crying uncontrollably.

She dropped to her knees then, cupping Roscoe’s cheeks with her hands. “I love yous so fuckin’ much, you asshole,” she breathed, pressing her lips to his. “I don’t wanna do this with anyone else but yous. I-- I don’t care if we’s renew ‘em or redo ‘em… Whatever. I just wanna-- I wanna spend forever with yous. Even if yous drive me batty an’ make me wanna pull my hair out.” She kissed him again, this time letting it linger before she pulled away. “I love yous.”

ROSCOE:

In a way, Rita and himself were far too similar. He also never thought in a million years that he’d be here. If someone would have asked him when he was younger if he would ever get married...ever have kids? He would have looked at DeSoto with a scoff, and the two of them would have laughed in the face of whoever asked. He never knew what it was like to have more than a brother’s love in his life - never got to see what a functional marriage was supposed to be.

And he knew Rita never did either.

So perhaps that was what made it that much more special. Knowing that the two of them were always completely winging this thing they had together - and that they’d actually gotten to this point together when Roscoe was sure this entire thing would have crumpled a long time ago. It’d been one of his biggest fears, to watch Rita walk out on him when she finally found a better alternative - and though they’d since come to actually find real reason within their relationship, there was something about the way her expression twisted, the way tears flowed freely that almost cemented the fact that Rita was no longer lying to him when she said she loved him.

His free hand was quick to mirror the woman’s own actions, cupping her one cheek gently as his thumb brushed at those tears carefully - his own swimming dangerously behind his eyes, even if he didn’t wish to acknowledge them. The kisses were accepted easily, his fingers curling behind the woman’s neck as he smiled - a small breath of a laugh slipping from his lips as they finally parted. For a moment, Roscoe could only take in the beautiful face in front of him; knowing she loved him, and that together they were so much stronger.

“I love yous too.” He finally returned when he found his way around his words, wiping another tear from her face before pulling her forward and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “...I always want yous t’kick my ass if I do somethin’ stupid but.. I’m trying to minimize that for yous.” Honestly, not drinking seemed to help an awful lot with that anyways. Letting his hand drop from Rita’s cheek, Roscoe took her own in his once more, thumb twisting that old wedding band absently for a moment before he picked the new one from the box, carefully slipping it onto her finger - the pair seemingly complimenting each other in the way an engagement ring might. Yet they’d always been missing one of those, hadn’t they?

“...famiglia è tutto.” He spoke quietly, letting his hands cup her own before he gaze finally rose once more to meet her own. “...this is the most important thing to me.” He promised, giving her hand a quick squeeze.

RITA:

This moment, framed perfectly and most likely on purpose by her husband, was one that Rita would never forget. It would be etched in her mind for the rest of her life as the real night Roscoe proposed to her. That conversation about getting together out of convenience never happened in her mind. The years of arguing and fighting were just a pit stop on their way to here. To something that was better. Not quite picture perfect but perfect for them. Neither thought they would have something like this but what they had was special and it fit them.   

Her hands shook only slightly as he slipped the ring onto her finger. It was perfect and she couldn’t help but admire it with those watery eyes of hers. The perfect engagement ring to go with her wedding band. She rubbed her own finger over it, feeling it as she looked down at it.

Family…

It was all she had ever wanted. Somewhere that she not only belonged but something she could feel and possess. Looking harder at it, it was entirely possible to say she simply wanted love. Love that didn’t have expectations or a price tag or limitations. She wanted someone who didn’t expect anything from her. No adoptive parents expecting her to be the perfect child, no partner expecting her to hang off their arm and look pretty, no friends expecting her to do exactly what they wanted. Now, all Roscoe wanted, all it seemed he wanted, was her love and happiness. And that was all she wanted from him. Nothing more and nothing less.

“Famiglia è tutto,” she repeated the words slowly, knowing what it meant only by the sincerity of which Roscoe had spoken them and the words that followed.

ROSCOE:

There was never any way to truly predict how this entire thing would have went. However even if Roscoe would have tried, there was certainly no way in hell he would have imagined it looking anything like this. With Rita looking so goddamn perfect in front of him, looking at that ring on her hand as if it was the key to everything they’d ever needed. Perhaps in a way in was.

It signified so much to them. To her. That was the entire reason he’d gone for a mother’s ring such as that over the standard for an ‘engagement’ ring. Somehow picking one that showed them as a whole, that signified all the work she as a person had done to bring this family together made it so much better. Part of it also just helped him in ways that words failed. Such as the dream bullshit had helped in slowly accepting Oliver into his family as one of his own, this ring helped to tell Rita that in a way that he’d never really be able to form with his own words. It was a hard thing to talk about between them, but he simply hoped this would do it justice. That anytime she looked down and saw it, she’d know they were truly a family. Every single one of them.

“...famiglia è tutto.. Family is everything.” He finally translated with a smile, knowing the meaning was probably already mostly understood surrounding the context, but knowing it was important she understood it nonetheless. Lifting a hand to quickly rub at his eyes - no, he wasn’t crying, shut up - Roscoe gave a small sigh, glancing to their side and noticing the way the sun was disappearing behind the skyline - the way it reflected off her features as his gaze switched back to Rita’s own. “...I want t’start a new chapter with you.” He spoke, his hand gently turning her own in an effort to see those two rings along her finger. “...So thank you… for giving me that chance. For...not just givin’ up on me.” Because honestly? Despite the circumstances? He probably would have given up on himself if he was in her shoes.

RITA:

Family is everything.

How fitting that that was a motto that meant so much to the both of them. How fitting that it was that which brought them close together, brought them back together. The saying that was engraved not only on the band of her new engagement ring but also in her mind.

Family is everything.

She smiled as he wiped away her tears that were still falling, albeit slowly, from her eyes. It couldn’t be helped, though. There was so much emotion inside of her if she didn’t cry she was scared she would implode. And she would never complain about feeling so close to her husband. She was finding she wanted it more and more; and she did not have to feel foolish for asking for it or initiating it anymore. “I love yous.” She murmured the words again, kissing him softly, as she shifted just a bit closer.

“You shouldn’t be thankin’ me, yous know that.” She whispered after a moment, looking up to Roscoe. “Yous always had a feelin’, some sorta spark or somethin’, ain’t? Yous stuck around with me for three years not even sure if-- If I even cared about yous.” She gave a soft laugh as she wiped at her eyes. “Yous stuck around waiting for me and… and I’m really fuckin’ glad you did. M’glad we got here. Ready t’start a new chapter together.”

ROSCOE:

“..n’I love you.” He returned once more, knowing that ever since she’d said it with the true meaning - the feeling behind his own had only shifted to reflect that. Becoming far less pleading and unsure, and instead just confident. Confident and loving, as it should be. A tone he knew wouldn’t be changing anytime soon, and he was so goddamn thankful for it.

Hands raised to gently swipe away those tears she’d been trying to rid herself of, Roscoe’s lips turning up in a gentle smile as he couldn’t help but laugh as well. It seemed so… weird now. To remember that..her words were true, and that he’d simply skirted by the past few years with the odd hope that one day Rita would turn around and love him too. Even weirder to know that...it actually had happened. “I’d...wait for you forever. Stupid as it sounds...but s’true. I’d always wait for yous.” A fact he’d apparently proved by being here now.

“...see if we’s could drink, this is where we’d make some cheesy toast to ‘a new chapter’.” The man teased quietly, voice coming out in a soft whisper as he glanced off to the side, as if looking for someone that was intruding on their conversation. However, a moment later, and Roscoe simply let his arms slip to the woman’s shoulders, pulling her into a tight hug as a sigh fell from his lips. “...sorry about ruinin’ your makeup though, Ri.” He teased with a laugh, squeezing his wife tightly, before he pulled back, pushing himself to a stand so that he could offer his hands out to her to help her stand up.

“...Also...are blindfolds still off the table…?” He asked with another mischievous little grin, tilting his head much like their dogs when they were curious about something.

RITA:

The evening couldn’t have been more perfect. Roscoe had truly, truly surprised her with one of the best outings of their trip. But that had been each day in Italy. Roscoe always managing to go above and beyond what she expected. She had expected their trip to be relaxing, a much needed break from Swynlake. And it had but in between their afternoons and evenings at the hotel, Roscoe had taken her places and shown her things that she hadn’t ever dreamed of seeing.

And maybe that was his plan to get her to agree to move to Italy. He was always saying it was better than Swynlake. And it was.

She’d barely noticed the way her knees were starting to protest from being on the ground when Roscoe rose. She took his hand and slowly stood, clinging to his arm as she made to steady herself. It happened more often than not but she did her best to ignore it. As long as she wasn’t falling over or fainting they were good. “Yous should know better than t’tease a pregnant lady about alcohol,” she pouted up at him, though she wanted to laugh. It had actually been surprisingly easy to cut all of it out of her every day routine. The health of her baby was more important than a drink. But it didn’t mean that she still didn’t crave a bit of wine here and there. Especially in Italy where it was had with almost every meal.

His head tilted and she raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what he had up his sleeve this time. Why he kept asking about that blindfold was what confused the most. It was as if this wasn’t the only part of the surprise. Which was ridiculous because this was more than enough. He’d given her a fucking engagement ring on the roof of one of the most beautiful hotels she’d ever been to overlooking a city that was breathtaking. It was overwhelming and more than she could have ever asked for.

“Already told you, babes, blindfolds are for the bedroom only.”

ROSCOE:

The man couldn’t help the half smirk that appeared on his lips at the alcohol comment, his shoulders shrugging up idly with a small laugh. “Aw c’mon. Yous don’t really miss it that much.” At least.. Roscoe didn’t so.. He had to assume that Rita didn’t either. They had both been pretty similar in the habit, so to speak, so it made sense to assume they’d both step away from it with the same mindsets.

“Kinky.” Roscoe laughed, giving a small wink as he looked out over the city - the lights of every building just starting to flicker on among the street lamps, and small fires of distant festivals and traditions. He’d only asked of course, because it wasn’t exactly over. Now it might not have been nearly on the same level as what they’d just done, of course, but… when Roscoe had planned this whole thing out… well, there had been something he’d enjoyed a little too much from a previous event that he couldn’t help but include here too.

Something he figured Rita might get a small kick out of - or at least a laugh at his expense if anything.

“...I suppose it’s not really blindfold necessary anyways.” Ros waved off, turning back to her with a smile as he nodded his head to the side. “...’sides you’ve already kinda seen half of it anyways.” Since...it was still on this rooftop. The damn big rooftop though, and that was certainly a good thing. “C’mon.” He spoke softly, gently leading the woman with one hand towards the opposite side of the roof - slipping past a narrow pathway between the banister and the way in which they’d entered the roof in order to slip onto the other half of the area - already lit up softly with strung lights that extended from extensions of the balcony back to the roof behind them, resembling all those rooftop bars from back home - that always had this kind of set up in the summer when everyone would just sit outside all night long and enjoy the weather.

Except this wasn’t a rooftop bar, and there wasn’t a crowd of people to fight through - it was just the two of them surrounded by Italy. “...I was thinking maybe...I could have this dance?” He asked with another small laugh, waiting a beat - complete with a glance towards the building—one that seemingly resulted in the gentle accompaniment of music in which they could dance to. Thanks, Fabrizio.

RITA:

Roscoe knew her and his comment only made her chuckle as she wiped at her eyes, trying to keep it from looking like a disaster. She didn’t know what else he had planned; if he was taking her anywhere she wanted to look presentable and not like an over emotional mess. “I don’t miss it. We’s gettin something much better in the long run.” It was a God’s honest truth. Their baby was a good trade off for not drinking for the next year or so.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, just watching the cityscape before them. It was like magic how lights just appeared, peppering the rapidly darkening sky like fairies. Or how Rita imagined fairies to be when at night. Bright spots of light illuminating the sky in their wake. It was soft and romantic and it reminded her of nights back home. When the gang would climb up onto rooftops in the dead of night and just… exist. She’d had that with Roscoe a few times here and there; each time something special in her mind. This one was only going to be added to it, their first night in this new chapter of their lives.

She wished she’d had her camera with her.

But then Roscoe was speaking again and that eyebrow of hers raised even as she gave him a soft smile as she took his hand. It was easy to follow him back towards the door, thinking that whatever came next would be behind it. Until they passed by the door and moved to a different part of the roof.  

And just as before, Rita’s eyes widened as she took in everything around her. It was a fairytale. Something she had read about in books when she was much younger. The kind of thing that only happened in movies. Her life was never meant to resemble a storybook or a movie. It was raw and gritty. But Roscoe…. Roscoe was making it magical nearly every day.

“Course you can,” she breathed out, turning to look at him with the same soft features she’d had at prom when they’d done this. The music began to waft through the air and Rita couldn’t help but let out a small huff of a laugh. “You’re incredible, you know,” she smiled softly, wondering idly what she had done to deserve all of this.

ROSCOE:

Roscoe certainly hadn’t been kidding when he’d imagined this all in his head. He wanted this to be special for Rita - and if that meant going out of his way, if it meant planning and begging other’s for cooperation? Well hell, he was going to try his damn best to get everything to fall into place. That was why as soon as the option was on the table, Roscoe had begun planning for this. He’d made the arrangements as soon as they agreed on dates, and made sure to make a phone call or...dozens in order to make sure everything could be worked out.

He’d had one hell of a conversation with the owner of this hotel, after all. However thankfully the guy was a romantic at heart himself, and couldn’t help but offer his help to Roscoe in doing all this. He’d granted him the roof access, with little questions asked on what they would be doing up here - and hooked him up with the grounds security manager Fabrizio - who..for an old born and raised Italian was certainly open to helping as well. For once he had to give it to them too - he wouldn’t have been able to get all this shit together if it hadn’t been for them, and it was rare he could be appreciative of other people’s help. This time however, he felt so incredibly in debt to them, especially now as he watched Rita’s expression melt into soft adoration. His own smile mirrored her own as he shrugged his shoulders idly.

“...Only because you’ve given me a reason t’be.” He replied quietly, stepping forward and letting his hand rest upon her hip, as his opposite curled into her own, slowly leading her within their impromptu dance. What he’d said was complete truth in his opinion. What path had he been truly going down before he’d met her? A life of crime and family bullshit with DeSoto and their dad, a life that he’d never fully wanted to be a part of but felt like there was no way out. Rita...well she’d been part of that out. She’d given him something to look forward to - been someone that he could talk to that didn’t cycle around the mafia or the family or any of that. The person who’d kicked his ass into gear and was doing more every day to set him straight. She made him a better person every day. She was the reason he was still here.

As much as he loved his brother - there was a reason he was here with Rita and not back home with them.

She saved his life. Whether she realized that or not - she saved him. He’d only just started to realize that she deserved so much more from him than he’d been giving her. She deserved better, and hell if he wasn’t going to try to make things right. That was why this had been so important to him. Roscoe wanted her to know that this was important to him; that they were important to him.

RITA:

Nothing could have ever prepared Rita for this. For a time in her life where she had everything that she had ever wanted. The dreams she’d had as a child had been written off long ago. How could she ever achieve them when she lived in a run down apartment and made her money selling her body to the highest bidder? Love only lasted a night or two; it was fleeting and unattainable. Marrying Roscoe hadn’t done anything at the time except convince her that her dreams were forever gone. Left as nothing more than a childish escape from a far from perfect childhood.

It was prom that had brought those dreams back to her. The ones where she was allowed to be happy, where she had the love she had always wanted, the family she had always wanted. Prom had been the first time that Rita had seen the love her husband had for her, it had been the first time Rita had allowed herself to feel that love herself. It had been the selflessness that Roscoe had shown. It had been the way that even though he had showered her with all the intricate planning, he hadn’t expected anything from her. It was a gift without any strings attached. It was this. This perfect evening in the most romantic city in all of the world that was focused on them.

The perfect beginning to their new chapter.

Again those tears came, slipping quietly down her cheeks as Roscoe spoke. She still didn’t understand it. Didn’t understand how she had given him so much when she had fought him so hard for so many years. When she had run away from him so often. How could he feel so strongly, say such sweet things, hold her in such a regard? She’d been a terrible wife. Was still just learning how to maneuver their relationship in a way that didn’t cause conflict every few hours.

But Roscoe wanted to stay with her. He always was there. When she acted like a brat and ran away for days on end, when she was sick and acting like a child, when she was over excited over a new song and more than ready to show it to somebody, anybody. If there was one constant in her life outside of the gang, it was Roscoe. Always there to make sure she was taken care of and that she was happy. Ready to give her the moon if she asked for it.

Except she didn’t want the moon. She wanted this. Him. The both of them together and happy and working towards a functioning relationship.

“And here I thought I just drove yous batshit,” she gave a small chuckle, following Roscoe’s slow and graceful steps.

ROSCOE:

He only broke away from the positioning of their intimate dance to raise a hand to her face, gently cupping the woman’s cheek and swiping his thumb against her skin in attempt to rid her features of those pesky tears that seemed to just keep coming back. Roscoe could only be thankful however that they were purely happy tears - that she wasn’t here crying because he’d done something stupid or upset her. Instead, that he’d finally gotten it right and that she was only crying because he managed to get his shit together.

It might’ve taken over three years - but Roscoe wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to start fresh. To begin this new chapter with her with a foundation built off of love and trust, rather than need and desperation.

Rita was his everything. His sun and moon, his stars and his dreams. She was his whole goddamn world, and it sure was about time he started treating her like she was.

“Naw.” He returned quietly, letting their bodies move gracefully under the soft twinkle of the string lights of the roof - mixing perfectly with the now emerging stars of the early evening. “..Yous only drive me batshit in the best way possible.” Which was true - because even when she did drive him batshit, it only reminded him of why he loved her so much. Even if she was giving him hell, or the cold shoulder. He still saw that woman he loved dearly.

The woman he twirled ever so gently within his arms, pulling her back against his chest gently a moment after and pressing a careful kiss to her temple. “...and I always want yous t’drive me batshit, ‘cause at least then I know yous still believe in me.”

So he’d take it - every single day for the rest of his life. Because all he wanted more than anything in the world was to spend the rest of his life with the woman still tucked within his arms - just her and their perfect little family.

After all, famiglia è tutto.

[chiseki]

Figured I’d make this an intro post, since I’m pretty much using this alternate url as an “out” url compared to my usual vagueness.

I’m Joshua. Yes, that matches the sidebar, so it’s not really surprising here.

And that would surprise an entire two people following my main blog that know me irl because the rest were previously informed. Maybe three people, I forget if the last one is on tumblr or not.

Which is, by the way, ““““““““fun”““““““““

Yup, having like three local friend circles that had relations to each other outside of myself, and only one of them being in the know is fun.

You can basically stop reading at this point, because from here on out is just gonna be a massive time rewind to.....jeez, fuck if I know when, my childhood? I promise there will be time skips, we don’t need that mess played at normal tempo. (Also some funny stories after the giant gap in the text, if you want to scroll for that).

Most of this story is actually located in college, but the only real indicator (aside from having a general dislike of dresses) was way back when I was in all of second grade--apparently I was so damn insulted I burned all these facts into my memory--and an older kid was brought into the classroom, gave us this cool sales pitch about do we want to learn to shoot a bow, go camping, build campfires, etc

and then was like “OH YEAH THIS IS THE BOY SCOUTS IT’S BOYS ONLY”

I was so hyped lol.

Wound up being in a mediocre girl scout troop later, and my brother obviously got directed into boy scouts. At which point I got to find out that their camping trips were mostly getting rained on and finding black windows and getting taught woodworking by a dude missing a chunk of finger.

So more suffering than child me would have expected, but they still got to build fires and go REAL camping and shoot bows and rifles and shit.

Meanwhile, in girl scouts, we went to this one set of cabins every year. We never stayed in the damn cabins, because someone would find A Bug in there, or a spider, and then someone ELSE would have the same issue, and no one wanted to be in a cabin alone let alone be the only one in the cabins at all, and we always wound up sleeping in the air conditioned lodge that was visible from the damn cabins.

Except the one year where we went to a different camp, stayed in the legendary caboose, and there was a bat sleeping on the outside of the window so no one wanted to sleep there except me.

My scout group was weak.

I miss the cookies, though.

Anyway, due to not being forced into gender-targeted toys and getting to play with whatever the fuck I wanted, I also have jack shit for anything resembling an early warning sign aside from the above.

Actually, scratch that, I was not really a fan of dresses. I mean, this was fair in general, since they were usually scratchy, didn’t fit my arms/shoulders right, were designs I had no say in, and everyone would get on my case if the dress might get even a LITTLE dirty. Had some skirts I liked in middle school, but even that was a mess of having to wear tights because my genes have never resulted in anything resembling a thigh gap.

And I was like, constantly trying to play with the guys in grade school. And they’d periodically get that “NYEHHHHHHH GUYS ONLYYYYYY” shit going on. That was never not infuriating tbh.

Flash forward to high school, still basically left to my own devices. Only indicator here was that I was just tickled fucking pink whenever I heard that I either passed at cons or was at least tossed in the “maybe.......?” zone.

Flash forward to college. I honestly don’t remember what set me off on thinking about it, but started eyeballing my gender with a microscope. Unfortunately I couldn’t apply a litmus test like sexuality, so there was a lot of “uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfuck” going on.

Actually, I think part of it was that on the forum I hung out on, a lot of the old regulars had assumed I was a dude until a childhood friend had dropped a pronoun several times in succession & asserted its correctness, which then led to a discussion along the lines of “whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat”.

But yeah, started testing the waters.

Also tried going to a LGBT+ club like, once. With the gal I was either dating at the time or was about to be dating, my memory is shit tbh. “HEY SO HOW ABOUT WE ALL JUST COME OUT TO EACH OTHER, A BUNCH OF STRANGERS <33333333″ still freaks me out, honestly. I get why it’s generally done, but like, no thanks. But I was horrendously obvious in ducking about the gender question and she totally called me out on it later in private lol. Also got me my first binder, but I digress.

Anyway, basically spilled on “I’m.....probably..............? a dude...........? jsyk??????” to my immediate friends, which was met with a lot of “.....YEAH ACTUALLY THAT MAKES SENSE” and a “hang on I need a dictionary........ok I get it”

I think I was the least smooth part of anything resembling a coming-out just due to like, me not wanting to have to tell people to do things for me? It’s something I find extremely awkward, like I know it’s that horribly stereotypical dating thing of “what’s wrong, bby, what do I have to do” “I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO” but.

And that’s an entire digression about how my relationship with my mother often included me saying a lot of shit I had to say convincingly, but didn’t mean at all, and probably led to me having fuckall faith in what people say, most especially when under a forced prompt. I could do an essay on that, but not here.

Which, admittedly, I’m gonna rewind here because I think it’s funny in hindsight, but it means the dictionary reaction went like “SO...........I’M.............TRANS?” “What?” [thinking this is pushback on the idea] [PANIC MODE] “UH” “Like, literally, what does that word mean, I've never heard it in my life.” “OH. WELL. Heh. Uh. That internal reaction I had was embarrassing then, oops.”

Anyway.

Then the collective action was, “well, have you picked a name what do you MEAN you haven’t picked a name, we can’t just run about calling you by your deadname after all that”

And I tossed some names out, that I’m not going to list, because they were just fucking awful. So I got interventioned and the method became throwing names at me until they stuck.

Adam? Nah I knew an Adam and I can’t unassociate with that

Noah? Violin teacher’s third kid was named Noah. Same issue with Gabriel and Caleb.

Benjamin? I fucking grew up with a Benjamin he would kill me.

you get the idea.

And those were like, actual reasonable rejections. At least half the time I was just like “I DON’T LIKE HOW IT SOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNDS.” Take, for example, Josh. I 1) knew one in high school and he was a piece of work and 2) I just, inexplicably, don’t like how the word sounds.

Which is part irony and part masochism that JoshUA stuck.

I mean, that name had pre-existing connotations for me. I had played..........a game.........in high school. And given that my options were pretty shafted to Stereotypical White Boy Names if I didn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb, some positive(?) pre-existing connotations were going to be needed.

Incidentally, I had a v. sweet trans girl offer me her deadname, which was a cool name, but just, like, didn’t fit me in particular so. She also picked her name by RNG tournament, with the top 10 baby names for her year being the competitors. Which was neat and worked well for her, but I know I would have just re-run the fucking tourney if I didn’t like the winner lol.

But anyway, continuing on to a less flowery story. I’ll add some blank lines so it’s skippable. No need to set off every other person with gender issues here.

Decided to come out to my family. Apparently time fuzzed down my memories of being devoured by mosquitos outside while my parents were trying to decipher that their kid was holding hands with a girl in the back of the van and that girl had been planned to sleep over that night, and despite the fact that booth teens wouldn’t be jumping to sex that fast nor had the equipment to make a kid between them....it was Reason For Concern like a straight couple sharing a bed.

I mean, my mom was convinced that anything touching the nether regions was SEX and PREMARITAL SEX was EVIL. But I digress.....again.

So. I tell them. And the reaction ranged from “well ok I mean you’ve always been weird” (thanks, bro) to “uh I guess my last name’s odds of getting inherited just doubled........?” to “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME”

Yeah. That last one was word for word. Some stuff was thrown, lots of crying (”I CAN’T EVEN DO MY MAKEUP AND IT’S YOUR FAULT”)--both of which were not my doing, though I got shocked(?) into my own set of tears iirc.

I think I set a speed record for climbing back into the closet. Like, a week later, everyone was pretending it never happened. I sorta emotionally cut ties with my mom at that point--kept it civil, but Did Not Want to discuss my life or friends at all with her or in any way that would get back to her.

So obviously, no one in my family knows I go by Joshua. If they asked, I would tell them, but lo and behold, zero questions, they never brought it up again, etc. And I’ve been very careful about not letting that knowledge spread, not putting it on the internet in a way that connects back to my legal name, being primed at any point to pretend “Joshua” is a mutual friend and to not respond to that name if someone accidentally calls me by it.

Incidentally, during Yet Another Family Counseling that was at least performed at an individual level this time, my mom apparently told the counselor that she thought she handled that well. Last I checked, making the situation about yourself and doing the whole “woe is me, the mother, with a child like this” shpeal was not “well”.

And I mean the WHOLE shpeal. If you’ve ever had the misfortune to see the posts by parents of trans kids that wax soliloquy about losing their child and mourning their “death” (especially the ones that aren’t all “but I got a new kid!”) like, the ones especially cut from the same cloth that would be like “my child is autistic but ~I~ am the inspiration for waking up in the morning” like no, your kid is the inspiration for dealing with you.

And if anyone is wondering, this is basically the Midwest Stereotype for....LGBT, interracial dating, etc rejection imo. Seemingly ok with it, but NO WAIT HANG ON, NOT MY CHILD. Like, I legit had trans kids explained to me (albeit without terms for it) at a relatively young age by my mother and yet. “X exists but not in our good christian neighborhood” attitude. Ugh.

So where was I? Hmm, yes, funny Joshua stories. Ok I have like ONE story. One of my friends that was in the know finally got me to play Trails in the Sky. Now, this sucker has a chunk of text lead-in with a ~mysterious~ boy that young Estelle’s father has brought home, and the whole discussion skips his name, ending on “my name is....”. Then it time-skips to present day, finally casually dropping this dude’s name, which, obviously, is Joshua.

My friend did not tell me this.

No warning, nada. Only Estelle had really come up in conversation.

And then we collectively dragged another friend into the abyss with us, except he wasn’t in the know. We also had him streaming his playing sessions when our schedules coincided, which led to--because of a shitty accuracy stat--him yelling (as we did) “JOSHUA!” frequently in combat.

I debated on just responding “Yes?” randomly one day in the most casual closet-exit possible. Then procrastinated by deciding to just be out with it at the end of the first game since he’d also played twewy.

Some of you have probably started to eye my avatars with judgement in your hearts. That’s fair.

Anyway, we had forgotten about another character that practically had his name, so at least I had someone to share my weird feelings with.

And then, he started the second game, and I didn’t hold back on responding “yes?” every time “Joshua” was used as an interjection.

Also because of that one post about biblical names, I will respond to any use of “Jesus”.

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Found you (AustonxAshley)

Author’s notes: Am I aware that this timeline is fucked? hella. However I don’t really care that much. Sorry if you do but oops.

I was laying on the floor of my kitchen scrolling through my instagram. The day at school had been absolutely horrendous and sometimes you just get in a mood and need to cry on your floor for a bit and need someone to care for you. Nothing wrong with that. Except that I had no one to take care of me and I was just moody on the floor but oh well that didn’t matter much.

I kept scrolling through my instagram until I got a text from my friend.

‘K I couldn’t care less about your sports shit but like some hockey boy is looking for you and I think you showed me his butt one time?’

Almost immediately my mind went to Auston but it couldn’t be, there was no one way in hell he even remembered my name let alone be trying to find me.

‘Sure Leah whatever you say, I really believe you.’ I replied to her rolling my eyes.

After a little while of laying on the floor I got up and started making some pasta for dinner before the hockey game. I called Grandma too to talk to her about how awful the people of my program were today and to talk through the hockey games.

“What games do you get tonight?” I asked her while stirring the pot.

“I get the Capitals vs Vancouver and eeeew the Leafs vs Nashville.”

“Oh yikes. Which are you gonna watch?”

“I’m gonna have to watch the leafs, I can’t stand Ovetchkin.”

“Poor grandma.”

“I hate the leafs but I hate the Capitals more.”

“I know you do.” I said putting the phone on speaker and sitting down to watch the game.

“And who are you going to root for?”

“Nashville of course.”

“Oh no but what about Fredrik Andersen? And little sunshine william? Oh and who could forget Aaaauston.” she was teasing me, knowing that I made a special exception for those three. And sometimes Mitch depending on what he was doing.

“Yeah, yeah whatever. I love them. They are the exception. Go Nashville and Freddie and Auston and William. That’s it.”

“You better not be rooting for the leafs tonight.” Grandma hadn’t liked the leafs in a long long time. She got me into the sports I liked and she let me know who we like and don’t like. Sure I was able to go off and like whoever I wanted but the leafs sure made it easy to not be a super big fan of, messing things up all the time. But those three were my boys and I was always rooting for them and Grandma knew that.

“I won’t, God. But if Auston gets a goal I’m gonna yell.”

“Like he did when you punched him in the face the other day?”

“Grandmaaaaa I didn’t mean to! It was an accident.” my whole family had been teasing me about this for the past two days and I was still just as embarrassed about it as I had been when I called grandma frantically from the ramp as soon as I was out of Auston’s sight.

“A vicious little thing.”

“No I’m not I love him.”

“Tell that to your fists.”

“You’re annoying.” I said with a big mouthful of pasta making her laugh at me.

“I’m just teasing, dear.”

“Speaking of annoying I don’t like this person singing the national anthem.”

“When do you ever?”

“When George Canyon does it.” and with that the game started and we just talked about the game, me not having enough hockey knowledge to completely understand everything going on and some of the calls or rules. I was relatively new to hockey and this was my first full season watching. They kept showing Auston and everytime they did I got teased again. It was a loooong first period. A bunch of commercials came on and I was walking around my house still talking to grandma.

“Ooooh Ashley, they’re interviewing Auston.”

“What?!” I yelled running over and jumping on the couch. “I almost just fell off the couch trying to get here to see him.”

“Oh my god did you do that to his face?!”

“It was an accident! How many times do I have to say it uugh.” I was about to continue but was shushed. I pouted but then paid attention to the tv.

“So Auston you’ve got quite the bruise right now, what happened there?” the reporter asked him, he nervously chuckled before answering with a smile.

“Yeah uh a girl punched me in the face. Scratched me too.” he said it with a fond smile. “When I went to the Jays game with uh Mitch. She was standing in front of me ya know at the high valley concert and she got excited and stuff. She didn’t mean it. She even took care of me after to make sure I was okay.”

“That was nice of her. Does this mystery punch girl have a name?”

“Yeah Ashley.”

“Are you going to be seeing this Ashley again?”

“Uh haha I uh I hope so. I’ve been trying to find her. But uh who knows? She turned down my offer to sit in the suite with me, Mitchie, Freddie, and Will to sit in nose-bleed seats so really who knows?” he was still smiling though.

“Alright well thank you for your time and good luck finding her.”

“Yeah no problem, thanks I appreciate it.” Auston got serious again and left for the dressing room.

“Hellooooo?” Grandma said on the other line.

“Um hi yes? Hello.”

“Did you catch all that?”

“Um yes I think?”

“Auston is looking for yoooou.”

“This is nuts. No way. This is the literal best news I’ve heard in my life.”

“You know what else is nuts? You giving up a chance to sit with all your favourite boys to sit in your seat with all those party poopers around you.”

“Okay but I didn’t know they’d be party poopers and the seat was great. If the Jays had won it would’ve been perfect.”

“Well you’re a jinx.”

“No I am not!” just then grandma let out a big laugh. A suspicious one for sure. “What are you laughing at over there?”

“They just showed video of you punching Auston Matthews in the face.”

“NO THEY DIDN’T.”

“Yes they did so!”

“Oh no.”

“Could you be any less graceful do you think?”

“No probably not.” I groaned going back over to the tv to see it again. “That really wasn’t very graceful was it?”

“Not even a little bit.”

“Literally everyone I know is laughing at me right now.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

“No grandma you don’t get it. Every person I know is messaging me laughing at me. This has gone all over the place and now I keep getting texts and messages about it. I’m never going to live this down ever.”

“Oh come of it. That’s a little dramatic don’t you think?”

“If I were laying on the floor, THAT would be a little dramatic. This is the perfect amount of dramatic.”

“Are you gonna try to reach out to him?”

“ARE YOU CRAZY?! NO!!”

“What do you mean no? You’ve been all about Auston this whole season and now he’s trying to find you.”

“Why would be ever want to find me? That would be so dumb of him.”

“Stop that right now. Did you see the big smile on his face when he was asked about that bruise?”

“Yeees.” I said quietly blushing and smiling.

“Just try it.”

“I’m going to put one thing on social media. And if nothing happens, then I guess that’s it.”

“Yes do it. I really think you should. Get your hockey boy.”

“Alright fine. I just need to think of the right thing to say first..” I thought about it for a while during the beginning half of the second period before I found what I thought was the right thing that would let him know for sure it was the same sarcastic girl he met the other day. I took screenshots of my phone blowing up and then went to twitter and I wrote out ‘Thanks to @AM34 and @sportsnet for exposing me to all of Canada lmao’. I thought it was funny. It made me laugh at least. I went back to watching the game and during second intermission I paid a little more attention.

“I wonder if anyone has seen your post yet.”

“Yeah I dunno. I guess we’ll see.” I was really nervous about this. A lot more people than usual had retweeted my post and just overall interacted with it last time I had checked but still not enough to really make any impact I didn’t think.

“Did you really need to be that sarcastic?” Grandma asked laughing as I ran back to the tv.

“God I didn’t think it would be on tv jeeeeeeez.”

“Well on the plus side I think that Auston is gonna see it for sure now.”

“Look how many people tagged him! This is crazy. I’m gonna die.”

“Now THAT is too dramatic.”

“I don’t think so. I feel like I’m gonna die.”

“No you don’t. You’re just nervous. All you can do now is wait, my dear.” she said still laughing at me. “Let’s just watch the game and see what happens. You’ll have to keep me updated on this one though for sure.”

“Well duh. If this works out you get to meet Auston Matthews. Are you excited?”

“Oh yeah thrilled.” she said sarcastically.

“I can hear you rolling your eyes at me. Stop it.” we watched the whole game with lots of teasing of course to me about the whole thing. I continued to cheer for Nashville though. “Wow Kevin Fiala is a beautiful man.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“What?! He is!” I said defensively.

“If this goes into overtime I’m not gonna be happy.” she said changing the subject.

“Why not? Overtime is fun.”

“Oh pfft sure. This from the same girl that just yells the entire 5 minutes.”

“Oh wow well I woooonder who I got that from?”

“I’m sure I don’t know.”

“Of course you don’t. It’s not like you were the one who made me love hockey or anything.”

“Nope not me.” I rolled my eyes as the clock was running out.

“Looks like we get some overtime Grandma.”

“Darn.” after the break they came back for it and I was excited.

“I love overtime.”

“No you don’t. You love shootouts.”

“K, well yeah but I need to go through overtime first.”

“No shootout. I have to get up early tomorrow.”

“Yes shootout.” we watched the overtime and it was almost done and I was getting more excited for the shootout that would follow but with 15 seconds left Auston got a goal. “YES WOW YAY.”

“What was that?!”

“Oops.”

“Oops she says. God I thought you were rooting for Nashville.”

“In my defense I did say that if Auston scored I was gonna yell.”

“You’re a goofball. I’m going to bed, I’ll talk to you tomorrow and you can tell me all about what happens the rest of tonight.”

“Okay, bye grandma, love you. Goodnight.”

“Love you too. Bye sweetie.”

I hang up the phone and continue watching sportsnet. They interview Auston again and I pay very close attention to that although I didn’t care for his lame nervous hockey answers, I wanted to know if they say anything about my post. They don’t until the very end.

“One more thing Auston and then we’ll let you go. During first intermission you were talking about a mystery girl named Ashley. She reached out on twitter.”

“Wait she did? Uh what did she say?”

“She thanked you and us for exposing her to Canada with screenshots of her family and friends messaging her about it.”

“That sounds like her for sure.” he said with a laugh. “Well if it makes her feel any better for ‘exposing’ her I dedicate that winning goal to her.”

“So now that you know that she was watching how do you feel about how you played tonight?”

“Well uh pretty good. I mean like, I scored the winning goal and I feel like I played really well tonight so I’m glad she chose tonight to watch.” he said laughing again.

“Alright Auston Congratulations on the win. And thanks for your time.”

“Yeah of course no problem.” Auston left for the locker room and I was freaking out. I went into my room and changed into my pajamas. I got snuggled up into my bed trying to answer all the teasing messages I had received when I got some twitter notifications. The ones that killed me though were the ones from Auston. One was him retweeting and the other was a direct message from him. After talking back and forth a couple times I gave him my number and he called me.

“Hi Ashley.”

“Why hello there Auston.”

“I found you.”

“I would’ve made it easier if I had known I was being looked for.” I said making him laugh.

“Fair enough I suppose. What are you up to?”

“Well it’s like 11 so I’m in my pajamas cuddled up in bed right now.”

“Oh sorry, where you going to sleep? I can never sleep after games, I forget.”

“No don’t worry about it. I get too hyper after games to go to bed. I just like being cozy.”

“You’re ridiculous.” he said laughing again.

“Yeah you aren’t wrong. So what are you up to?”

“I’m driving back to my place.”

“Aah fun times.��

“Yeah I guess. I like driving after games alone. It settles me down. I’m glad Mitch went home with Steph because there is no calming down when Mitch is in the car.”

“Yeah I believe that 100%.” I said laughing.

“He’s like a child on a sugar-high. It’s fucking crazy.”

“He does seem like a lot from what I saw at that ballgame.”

“Why didn’t you come with me at the game?” he asked abruptly.

“Um well I didn’t know who you meant by other friends first of all. I get nervous around groups and didn’t want to be all awkward and annoying to everyone. Besides that I had a really good seat.”

“You don’t like groups and you went to a game by yourself?”

“Yeah.” I said simply.

“How was that different?”

“Baseball games and concerts are the only groups or crowds I can be in without panicking and that’s because I’m just having too much fun to care.”

“What about hockey games?”

“I’ve never been to a hockey game.”

“What? Never?”

“Nope. I can’t afford to. Baseball tickets for where I like to sit are never more than 40$, hockey tickets are hella expensive. Plus I just got into hockey.”

“Hockey tickets aren’t that expensive.” he said quietly.

“Maybe not for you. I’m living off OSAP right now my guy. Not a lot of extra money for hockey.”

“Oh shit I guess not. Alright well I’m back at my place and I desperately need to shower. Can I take you out sometime? Please? Without you punching me in the face this time preferably.”

“Oh my god shut up.” I exclaimed making him laugh. “I’m really sorry about that.”

“I’m not. So what is your answer?”

“I’ll allow it.”

“Okay cool. I’ll text you tomorrow, bye Ashley. It was nice talking to you again.”

“You too, Auston. Bye.” I said with a big smile on my face as I hung up.

[teeterparker]

Anxious// Tom Holland x Reader

Starter: Ok like the reader is just in a bad place and needs tom but he’s gone filming bjt he has a break she doesn’t know about and he surprises her and can she be American btw.

A/N: okay so this for one of the most amazing people ever and I don’t know if they want to be anon or not but they know who they are!❤️ I love you so much and hope you feel better sweet angel!

Warnings: Cuteness, Some cussing, Angst and Mentions of Abuse.

—

Y/N L/N was best friends with Tom Holland, and loved every minute of it. She enjoyed the way Tom came to her with his worries about acting, and Y/N would come to him about relationships. Secretly Tom always thought they were never a good match but that’s not important.

She was there when he got rejected from movies, to when he got casted as THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDERMAN.

•

Tom had busted through the door, yelling out Y/N’s name whilst throwing his stuff down and running around the kitchen and living room of Y/N’s small apartment, scaring the poor girl half to death.

“Tom!” Y/N grabs his shoulders, making him stop and look at the girl he’s adored since they were three in the eyes. “What happened?!”

Tom returned Y/N’s anxious stares with a lopsided grin. “I’m going to be SpiderMan!”

Y/N’s mouth dropped, replacing her worried looks with the widest grin she could muster. She threw her arms around Tom and hugs him tightly, feeling his toned arms wrap around her body.

“That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you! When does shooting start?” Y/N grins, holding Tom at arm length.

“Well they want me tomorrow,” Y/N felt her stomach drop. She was going to ask him tonight to come to court with her tomorrow to see her mother and testify against her. She heavily abused Y/N as a baby, causing her aunt to take her into custody and raise her in England. She still held on to her American accent, but sometimes she slipped into light English, making Toms inside fill with butterflies.

Tom saw Y/N’s sad expression and frowned, knowing he couldn’t do much to cheer her up. He nudges her slightly, “Hey I’ll be back in a while, but I gotta go home and pack.” Y/N nods in response, hugging him again.

“Don’t forget me when you’re famous and shit.” She murmurs in his chest. Y/N and Tom broke up the hug and he picked up his keys from the kitchen and shoots her a flashy grin.

“I’ll make sure to mention you on my Ellen interview. Bye Cupcake!” Tom grins, closing the door.

“Bye, fluffy!” Y/N smiles, feeling her expression drop as soon as Tom left. She sighs and leans against the wall.

‘How am I supposed to get through this on my own?’

•

Y/N did get through it on her own, now that Tom was out filming, he never got to come visit England or even Y/N in New York (where she was studying). She sighs, seeing another text from her mother come up to her phone.

‘Y/N, sweet baby... talk to me.’

Y/N groans and reads the million other texts from her mother. Since the court case, her mother was proven not guilty by some ‘lost evidence’ and lots of persuasion to the judge. Ever since, she’s tried to be involved in Y/N’s life, but that was the last thing she wanted.

She sits on her couch, her gray shorts barely peeking out of her NYU sweatshirt. She goes to her mothers contact, labeled simply ‘L/N’. She never wanted to call her mom, because she never was one.

Tears roll down Y/N’s face as she clicks the ‘block contact’ option, confirming her decision when asked. She throws her phone to the side and lets out a small sob, fighting back tears in fear of waking up her dorm neighbors.

Y/N didn’t know how long she was in that fetal position until she heard a ding from her phone. She looks at it and immediately her heart exploded.

It was Tom.

Tom: Hey Y/N! I feel so freaking bad for not talking to you but I’ve been so busy, and I’ve been with my mate Harrison, and filming too many stunts for my liking. But I took the night to talk to you because I miss my cupcake!!! <3

Y/N: hey tommy💛 so it’s been crazy lately here, i got accepted into NYU and i have finals, and also i feel bad for not telling you sooner, but my mom was found ‘not guilty’ and she’s been trying to get into my life lately, and i finally blocked her number. it’s been stressful, but it’s nothing compared to the constant filming you’ve been doing!!!

There wasn’t a response for a while.

Y/N felt a sense of relief when she reads Tom’s message, if only she had any idea of what he was planning.

Tom: Oh my God how could you not tell me Y/N?? I feel so bad I wasn’t there for you and don’t lie and say you’re fine, I know you’re upset right now. I have to film early tomorrow, but promise me, you’ll take a mental health day for me. Sleep late for us.

Y/N laughed at Toms comment and decided to listen to his advice, nodding to herself as she typed.

Y/N: you’re right, i’m very upset, but i’m taking a mental health day tomorrow. i’m gonna go to sleep and you should too. love you tommy boy!❤️

Y/N shuts off her phone and just lays on her side on the couch, pulling the blanket she kept laid on the back of the sofa on to her, sighing in delight.

Tom smiles to himself, getting off the plane in New York. He knew all about her getting into NYU and was going to surprise her big time tomorrow.

•

By the time Tom got settled, it was about Nine AM. He runs by a local starbucks and orders your grande iced coffee with coconut milk and two shots of hazelnut and a blueberry scone, ordering himself the same thing.

He leaves the store grinning wildly, walking through bunches of people on phones or talking to others. He practically breaks into a full out sprint when he sees the NYU dorms. He runs to dorm A, room 3o6,

Y/N’s room.

Y/N was up and watching TV, the feeling of free wrapping around her like the warm fuzzy blanket. But the feeling of dread wasn’t warm and fuzzy, it was cold and heavy.

Tom knocked on the door, biting his lip in anticipation.

Y/N jumped when she heard a knock on her door. She rolls her eyes and scoffs. If it was Jennifer to annoy her about her TV volume again she was going to punch her to another galaxy.

“For the last time Jennifer my volume is perfectly fine it’s your stupid ass ears that are too sensitive to even fathom-“ Y/N opens the door and drops the remote, seeing her best friend and crush standing in front of her with coffee and scones. A wide grin breaks across her face, taking the coffee and scones, putting them down and jumping into Tom’s arms.

“TOM!” She yells into his hair, he winces but laughs at her joy. He rubs circles on her back and grins to himself.

“Missed me?” he sets Y/N down, handing her a scone and coffee. Y/N and Tom’s faces were both heated.

“Uh hell yeah! And Tom you didn’t have to do this!” Y/N sits on the couch with Tom. Tom let’s out a pleasant scoff, taking your hand.

“Well you deserve it.” Tom says, looking Y/N in the eyes. She looks at his hand then back to him, her eyes flickering to his lips. Tom set down his drink and cups Y/N’s cheek.

“Can I make a crazy confession to you,

Y/N?” Tom whispers, his breath fanning across her lips. “I love you so so much Y/N, and I always have.” Tom stated boldly. Y/N cracks a smile, her eyes wet from previous crying at the fact that the guy she was in love with for years felt the same.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you to say that, Tommy.” Y/N smiles, and with that, they were off.

Tom wrapped Y/N up in her arms and kissed her passionately, their lips moving in sync, as if a match made in heaven. Y/N wraps her arms around his neck, and into his fluffy hair.

•

It had been three hours since the kiss and Y/N and Tom were happy to announce they were officially dating. He would go on to talk about her on the Ellen show (as promised) and do a lip sync battle, which in all honesty, he skated at.

Y/N snuggled closer to Tom and he wrapped an arm around her waist, the faint sound of Star Wars playing in the back ground.

“I love you so much Y/N.”

“I love you too Tommy, and your fluffy hair.”

And at that moment, you and Tom knew, an amazing relationship was blooming, and it was only the beginning.

[fyx-ation]

So, uh... that FFXV was a thing, wasn’t it?

It sure was, Bill... it sure as shit was.

So, yeah, I finally played and, just a moment ago, beat Final Fantasy XV.

I’m about to sum up my feelings on the game, many of which are shared with the general gaming community, so I might have nothing new to add at this point... But I feel strongly enough to keep writing, anyhow.

If you’re bothered by that sort of thing, scroll on.

Sometimes, in grade schools across the world, teachers feel the need to give every single child an award. Usually there’s nothing to it. Some might spring for a ribbon, others might give out trophies, and even fewer might elect to have other students create rewards for the recipients. The latter was my personal case in middle school. A boy, whose name escapes me because the entire affair was almost forgettable except for the reward, gave me the Most Potential award. Every other student made small bundles of candy or bought some small token for their reward recipient. I got... A small piece of notebook paper cut into the shape of a ribbon.

Most Potential.

I’m not sure if a more insulting award exists in the entire world.

What does this have to do with anything? I think you’re smart enough to see where I’m going.

Final Fantasy is quite possibly the franchise that made me a gamer. I played the first one the NES when I was a child, and I’m certain it was one of the first RPGs I had ever played. By middle school, when I was playing FF3 (really VI), I was knee deep in love with the genre and carving my path with a shovel made out of Blockbuster rental cases.

What I’m getting at is that my opinion on the franchise carries weight because I’m getting to be an old fart. I’ve seen the good, the bad, the ugly. I started out as Relm, and now I am becoming Cid (pick one).

When the game loads, the screen tells you that XV is for fans and first timers. My gut reaction to this was a big, fat, pessimistic, “Yeah, we’ll see.” XIII left me feeling like someone clipped my purse strings and ran off cackling into the night. Must stay on subject.... must... not... rant...

Well, I saw. I came, I saw, I conquered.

I didn’t hate it.

I didn’t love it, either. And here’s where the award comes in.

You, Final Fantasy XV, are the proud recipient of the Most Potential award. I’m even going the extra mile and writing this in a digital format rather than on notebook paper, so you can cherish it forever... as long as you have electricity.

What a hot-ass mess. Here are my beefs in broad strokes:

The combat feels sloppy. I know SE is trying desperately to get into the action RPG thing with FF because they feel like turn-based games are archaic and no one wants to play them. Fine. Whatever. That’s what made you a thing... but whatever. The problem is that they didn’t do a very good job with this. Kingdom Hearts does it amazingly well. Any Tales game puts it to shame.

Can I tell you a secret? You can laugh at me; it’s okay. I didn’t know you could just hold O to fight until I already had 80 hours on the game. Yep. I played that much just mashing O and square and warping. I spent untold minutes grinding my teeth during the Leviathan fight because nothing was happening. I kept missing an invisible quick-time event, apparently. IDK. (I researched it and others had the same problem? No clue.)

As a whole, the combat just felt very clunky and almost as if the AI was too smart. Maybe I should have played all the tutorials at the beginning. Who knows!

And magic sucked. So much suck. Friendly fire? REALLY? REALLY? THAT’S THE ROAD YOU CHOSE?

Hmm. what else.

Oh, you know how in some console RPGs, you can change the tactics in the menu to control the behavior of other characters in your party? Or you can switch who you want to play? None of that here. The other bros forget they have a spell equipped most of the time. But when they remember, you can be sure it’s when you’re in the thick of things so you can take that friendly fire. MMM Mmm. Good stuff.

Speaking of bros... the male gaze stuff was gross. They changed Ignis’ outfit so hit butt wasn’t hanging out, sure. But Cindy... the mechanic... boobs. Does not compute. Girl, get you some damn overalls so you don’t get burned.

I guess this Fantasy includes spark free machines.

So, then there’s the story. I won’t spoil what little story there is for folks that haven’t played it. I might spoil your urge to play it if you haven’t been able to yet. Sorry.

The game has some pretty amazing world-building. That’s not the same as the story, so don’t get excited. You get a general sense of history and a little bit of mythos. But it needed so much more to aid the story. People are so damned thirsty for lore that they’re theorycrafting THE FUCKING STORY for XV. It’s not in the game. They’re pulling shit out of thin air. Check Youtube, and you’ll get lost in a sea of “Ardyn’s TRUE name,” “The meaning of the true ending,” or “Eos Explained!” Yeah, okay, reeeeeeach for it.

And let’s not forget Kingsglaive and Brotherhood. Kingsglaive is a CG movie that accompanies the game. I enjoyed it. I watched it before I played the game (months before oops), because I was gifted both as a package deal. Problem is, Kingsglaive has some precious story that the game so desperately needed, it should have been IN THE GAME. And Brotherhood, the anime, should have been in the game as well. Maybe as flashbacks while camping. Yet even with both of these optional purchases, it’s still missing a truckload of substance.

Sadly, I think they tried to make up for it by putting a pace car in the game. That’s not even a cute metaphor; they really physically put in crap to slow you down. There’s a stamina bar for running, there’s a stamina bar on chocobos, and the Regalia has a set speed it cannot exceed (unless you get parts like the turbocharger several hours into the game). You can fast travel to your car, and you can get in your car and sometimes fast travel to quests or destinations (which, after chapter 13 seemed to be much more frequent unless I’m imagining it). However, sometimes you are forced to sit through minutes and minutes of scenic driving. And even that gets interrupted by a certain bro with a camera fetish. It felt very forced, and I fast traveled everywhere when given the opportunity. I somehow still wound up with 100+ hours on the game. Curse you, gambling and fishing.

The DLC episodes for each bro could have provided the game with a little more substance, too, but SE decided to nickel and dime their patrons for those. It’s becoming a trend that I hate. It’s like selling a jigsaw puzzle and then charging extra for 2-3 pieces that would complete the picture. Fuck a bunch of that.

Another thing that I felt was intentionally annoying stretched out: maps. Lestallam, or however you spell it, was laid out like a street gang’s fantasy. Lots of dead ends, terrible mini-map... just... please.. where’s my car... why is the big market tucked into the ass end of of Satan’s colon instead of on the main circuit WHERE A MARKET BELONGS?

My final Final Fantasy XV beef: TIME TRAVELING! choo choo all aboard the-woops-we-can’t-fix-this-shit train. No, there isn’t actual time-traveling in the game. Not really. Beyond a certain chapter, there is no way to return to Altissia or Lucis. SE handled this the way a dog does when it has a dingleberry. They dragged their ass on the floor until... no, no, I kid. They put in a menu that let’s you zip back to those two places without any explanation. You can do quests and hunts and get exp and items. Then, you can zip back to the “present” with all of those rewards. Hahahaha makes perfect sense, right? Riiiiiight? lolno.

It’s not part of the canon. You’re not dreaming or having a flashback or pulling an Assassin’s creed. They just added it in because otherwise you could plow through several chapters with no way of going back. It would be impossible to go back to those places (for lolstory reasons). They put in a point of no return and then were like, “Just kidding?” 

Imagine if in VI you could play all the way to Kefka’s Tower and then, with zero explanation, a save point gives you the option to return to the World of Balance. Bit of a head-scratcher, eh?

They had to do it, though. Remember that substance thing? A lot of it comes from the sparse side quests, fishing, hunting, optional junk-getting. If you’re not interested in any of that, you could skip returning to the “past” altogether.

It had a lot of potential. Unlike a person getting that award, it doesn’t get a chance to better itself. They continue to drop patches on it but nothing that can fix the story. 

I’m not sorry I played it. I did put 100+ hours on it, after all. I liked the characters (even if Noctis appears to grow into a Caucasian man and his eyes change color... um... what?). I liked the world.  It needed a lot more fine-tuning and character development, though. As I said to a few people already: it felt like a love letter to Final Fantasy rather than an actual Final Fantasy game.

It sort of suffered that same thing XIII did with FF mythos being tacked on but not nearly as badly. Throw in some chocobos. Bitches love chocobos. And a moogle. Just the one; don’t get carried away.

Bravely Default was a damn good Final Fantasy game (if you can get over the repetition) and it wasn’t even a FINAL FANTASY GAME.

Yeah, I’ll shutup now.

[cupkayke]

Cupkayke Rewatches/Liveblogs Boueibu!

Season 1, Episode 4

I channeled En for about a week and was too lazy to quit playing Resident Evil and finish this liveblog buuuut better late than never, right?! I may only manage one of these a week but I just had a bunch of fanfic ideas (unrelated to watching the episode) so I figured I’d press onward and finish these. Mostly cuz I’m really interested in getting to season 2 because the Beppus are my favorite. But for now- IT’S THE EPISODE WHERE THEY GET BABYFIED! OMG CUTENESS ABOUND.

PS- I love the discussion that happened from my previous liveblog! Thank you @nardaviel, @angry-jewish-magical-girl (whom I cannot tag for some reason), @magiccatprincess and everyone else who contributed :3 ( @thatlittledandere I absolutely loved your flailing in your tags lol <3) Reactions make this a whole lot more fun for me- especially because the screencapping and formatting is so tedious. But anyway! ONWARD! I doubt this episode I’ll get that deep but WHO KNOWS.

OH HERE WE GO FEELS AND BACKSTORY

LOOK AT THE BABIES

Although why are they unsupervised in a field all alone as like elementary schoolers WTF WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS?

Cliche wish upon a star!

Srz tho their voices are SO CUTE- who did they get for the baby voices??? 

Look at how cute blushy baby Atchan is!

BUT I AM A CHILD ATCHAN SO LOGICAL YET SO MUCH SHADE

CUTE BABY KINCHAN AND HIS ‘JUST IN CASE’ WISH AND HIS BLUSHING

Seriously look at this smol child. I think when I first watched the series this was the scene where I was first like “AWWW” at any of the SC.

-aaaaaand cut off

“Don’t mind me I’m just being broody and emo in the office with the lights out looking at the stars while I reminisce about my first love childhood friend who ditched me to go eat fucking curry with a pleb NBD I’M FINE”

That Arima Sass(tm) I didn’t remember him being so... memorable with his lines until this rewatch lol (oops I feel bad for ignoring him the first time around he’s so cute)

"Arima I s2g if you say one more word I will put snails on everything you own”

I didn’t cap this but in hindsight of the end of the season, his wish going from friendship to world domination is a perfect place for the “well that escalated quickly” meme…

Tickling Wombat looks so fun lol

I think I had a point about the ‘stink’ debate but I have since forgotten it so here have some silly screencaps of Wombat freaking out and Yumoto being adorable

QUICK SOMEONE WHO’S NEVER WATCHED BOUEIBU EXPLAIN WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE.

I mostly just love their faces lololololol I laughed for like 5 minutes after taking this

Side note- Poor Wombat- he’s a sentient creature that gets treated like a pet/plaything/child- no wonder he runs away from Yumoto every chance he gets

THE BIRTH OF WOM-SAN

More screencaps with no explanation other than I laughed harder than I should at them. THE EYES KIND OF REMIND ME OF HAYAO MIYAZAKI WHY?

Dads that are 12,000% done with this shit

En’s views on childishness/high school students in this scene is kind of telling- he seems overly image-conscious, yet he doesn’t want to be seen as old. Maybe Atsushi’s worrying is rubbing off on him?

Yumoto did you forget that you fight monsters on a weekly basis??? What ELSE is the definition of Superhero???

I wonder how they feel looking at basically a NAKED DEAD BODY all the time. It’s probably not fu- WAIT.

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING

BUT WHEN I TOOK THIS SCREENCAP I CAME TO THE HORRIFYING REALIZATION THAT TAWARAYAMA-SENSI LOOKS JUST LIKE MY DAD

MY DAD USED TO BE A MIDDLE SCHOOL TEACHER AND HAS GRAY POOFY HAIR AND A MUSTACHE AND NOW I CANNOT UNSEE IT

Cupkayke.exe has stopped working

anyway

WHAT IS IT WITH THE SIDE CHARACTERS AND FREAKY EYES IN THIS SHOW

Io all about that money. Why do I find this exchange hilarious?

WAS THAT TEASING

OMG YUMOTO AND HIS SENPAIS THIS IS ADORABLE

SHOT THROUGH THE HEART

Also I JUST NOTICED that Ryuu and Io’s washing supplies are color coded by their hair/battle lover outfits omg

Who was it who had that headcanon that their battle lover outfits were chosen because of their favorite colors?

Lololol well Ryuu is the youngest other than Yumoto, isn’t he?

En does have a point

But Ryuu’s views on his looks here are interesting- he knows he’s stereotypically ‘young’ looking, so he makes do with what he has and turns up the charm to 100

I mean... he’s good at it, too. Look at that last screencap.

Also Yumoto in that screencap is splashing water through his hands LOL EVEN IN THE BACKGROUND HE’S ENFORCING THE CHILDISH NARRATIVE

…what was the point of Yumoto interrupting there?

Did I miss a joke?

More on En’s view of age/maturity and Yumoto blowing bubbles like a child in the background

I can definitely see where Yumoto would rub some people the wrong way here- his childishness is being played too heavy-handedly to just be for laughs

But it’s necessary Boueibu format foreshadowing

Ryuu looking so cool, so casual washing his feet

HOW CHILD HOW

Also I definitely noticed the pink bath supplies in this screencap

Senior must not be a common term for students in Japanese

Lololol Ryuu so cheeky

I feel like this line would get localized into something really cheesy or lame like “old man” when dubbed into English

There we have it.

ALSO BUTTS

En’s age crisis- again, he has a desire not to be seen as immature and is quick to call out childish behavior in others, but the moment his attention is brought to how he might be percieved as ‘old’, he obsesses on the negative aspects of it instead of the positive- which he was stressing as the better option only moments before.

This is really interesting but I don’t quite know what to make of it. If he doesn’t want to be seen as childish, but doesn’t want to be seen as old, what does he want to be seen as? Simply exactly his age? Boy, En, I have news for you... unless you’re a genetic miracle, no one looks exactly their age.

Seriously I’m twenty-fucking-five and I STILL get carded everywhere because I look 18 T_____T

YUMOTO YOU DON’T NEED TO BE BALD

GLAMOR SHOTS TIME

STARTING WITH RYUU’S ASS

I KNOW EVERYBODY AND THEIR BROTHER HAS TAKEN THIS SCREENCAP BUT DAMMIT JUST LET ME-

...bubble butt, bubble bubble bubble butt~

Yumoto your laugh is creepy

Again Io being sexy

En you aren’t fooling anyone, Atsushi’s using his glamor shot to worry about you- even tho my screencap apparently missed the caption

And then they keep splashing like kids lol

What a nickname

I’ve noticed the SC almost always speaks in a certain order- Arima, Akoya, Kinshirou

Is this on purpose or just arbitrary?

…morning cuddles…

Gora: “...dafuq kind of club is this defense club???”

AND DIRECTLY CONTRADICTING THE LAST EPISODE YUMOTO IS NOT INTERESTED IN PICKING UP GIRLS

This definitely supports the ‘cumpulsory heterosexuality’ theory, however; Yumoto last episode was talking about girls in a polite, “this is what I’m supposed to do” kind of way. This episode, he must feel freer with his feelings that he can admit that he’s not interested to his senpais.

Or maybe cuddling Wombat is just WAY more fun than all of those things lol

EN STOP IT YOU ARE NOT OLD-

OH. It’s a vanity thing, is it?

Wow Atsushi talk about throwing shade

Srz is that any way to talk to your boyfriend???

I wish I knew what animes they were referencing - I took a bunch of caps here but they’re not really relevant I guess unless someone wants to tell me what they’re talking about

En basically called Atsushi an otaku ffft

WHY ARE YOU PETTING EN YUMOTO

HIS HAIR IS NOWHERE NEAR AS FLUFFY AS YOURS

Though En definitely looks cute when he’s being tickled... ok Yumoto carry on

….Ryuu what are you talking about approximately no one is fooled by your indifference

TICKLE FIGHT

This scene is adorable - THE BLUSHES

So many laughs

YUMOTO NOTICING THAT AND NOT HAVING ANY REACTION

Aww they’re all so smol

Also the rest of them, their eyes were kept proportionate to their bodies but LOOK AT EN

His eyes are like waaaaay bigger and innocent

Double AWWW

The nodding at Yumoto’s stupidity lolol

Tho Yumoto still manages to be adorable wtf look at his happy face

Your hair is VERY pink like why

BABY TRANSFORMATIONS AWWW

But seriously the ‘love making’ thing sounds SOOOO inappropriate coming out of smol Yumoto

Like when Wombat said it I cringed

If it weren’t for the gutter my mind would be homeless

THE BAGGY CLOTHES

Hi there, fourth wall

Omg Ryuu why are you so cute

SMOL POWERS

Tripping on the clothes or perhaps because of little legs

NOW IO IS TOO ADORABLE FOR WORDS STAHHHHHHP

No seriously look at his face!

Though his pupils are two different sizes in this screencap lol

CHILD ENDANGERMENT DUDE

Atchan with more fourth wall breaking

And they figured out the enemy very quickly! They seem more observant as children than they are regularly

Okay, they say kindergarteners but they look like 3 year olds or babies

I CANNOT at Ryuu’s hair spikes getting smaller and less detailed

Also his face reminds me that his voice in this scene is hysterical

THE MODESTY LEAVES

ATSUSHI WHY IS YOUR BUTT IN THE AIR STOP THAT

En and the fourth wall for the third time

RYUU WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT YOUR PENIS

And you’d think image-conscious Atsushi would be the one most embarrassed about being naked babies in public but NO APPARENTLY IO IS SUPER SHY

Sad baby Io sounds so pathetic

And Ryuu hardly seems worried

Yumoto rolled a perception check and got a 20 like whoah

RYUU AND EN ARE SAVAGE AF 

SMOL NAKED BABIES ATTEMPTING TO LOOK BADASS- all except Io who just wants the fuck out of here lol

How are they even still able to fight?? Their powers were diminished earlier??? Is it because they realized it was an illusion?

CHUBBEH BABY BUTT

AAAAND NAKED IN PUBLIC

Did their clothes just vanish???

And Io’s STILL embarrassed.

Meanwhile Yumoto has his priorities straight I guess

Also WHY IS IT SUDDENLY NIGHTTIME WASN’T IT JUST MORNING CUDDLES TIME???

YOU’RE JUST WORRIED ABOUT THEM BEATING YOU I MEAN C’MON AT LEAST LAUGH AT THEIR NUDITY

OH IT’S NIGHT SO HE CAN LOOK AT THE STARS AND REMEMBER THINGS AGAIN THAT’S WHY IT ALL HAS TO COME FULL CIRCLE BECAUSE PLOT

Ryuu you have no tact sheesh

Atsushi is STILL throwing shade like a pro. He must take lessons from Arima the sass master.

And we end on Atsushi reminiscing about Kinshirou and their stargazing adventures but THIS BOTHERS ME BECAUSE OF COURSE YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT HE WISHED FOR YOU DIP. Context wise, it’s obvious Kinshirou told him. I mean, he might be meaning he’s since forgotten the wish (which would explain his falling out with Kinshirou in another dimension other than the curry thing) but showing that flashback in such detail and then having Atsushi remember it (or hinted that he remembers it) but without hinting that he knows what Kinshirou wished for is just kind of.... idk it bothers me. That line wasn’t 100% necessary, or perhaps it could have been something like “I don’t remember what he wished for”. Of course, for all I know he could have said that but crunchyroll could have translated it poorly idk.

Buuuut that’s the end! That was mostly just an enjoyable “aww” episode with not a lot of substance other than we discover that Kinshirou is dramatic AF, En is self conscious (perhaps even moreso than Atsushi, or possibly just vain) and Io is definitely embarrassed by public nudity. Hm. Maybe you guys have some more intelligent commentary.

I’m gonna shoot to get Ep 5 done in the next couple days (maybe hours... but this shit takes forever) because I want to finish compiling all this stuff so I can get to writing these plot bunnies that just bit me in the ass... buuuut I need research. Man... En the lazy is definitely my spirit animal OTL

[kipjordan]

Tour Down Under, 2017

Full disclosure - there’s not a single photo of the pro Peloton ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Day 1

Well, a series of Jetstar & God’s blunders

I’m still relatively new to cycling, I’d say in the last 6 months I feel strong, really finding my stride, or (pedal) stroke, what have you. And I have these miasmic memories of missing out on #TdU2016 - suddenly everyone was gone and I was whipping my head around rasping “Huh? Td - what?”. And then came the photos, the videos, the enormous envy welling up inside me. 

So, jumping ahead to #TdU2017, I wanted to get there desperately. Thursday night came and I went, gliding on clouds of bliss to Tullamarine, Terminal 4. Lugging that bike bag, savouring it’s weight on my shoulder, leaving deep aching marks there, and deep imbued memories on my brain.

I watched the storm on Thursday 18th of January charge it’s way across the ocean, a cavalry of wind, rain and lightning thrashing it’s mane over the city. So much so in fact that we couldn’t land. A lap of Adelaide later and we returned to Melbourne. So went The Evening of Thursday 18th of January. Spent entirely in a flying metal tube. 

Day 1 

Okay let’s try this again

A 4:30am start with 3 hours sleep, a 6:30am flight complimented by a lukewarm and floppy McDonalds muffin-type breakfast. 8:30am and I’m in Adelaide, the living room of Andy, Caz, Jake and Gen. Jake greet me heartily with a warm “huh? you’re here already?”, his underpants hanging loosely to his lean Adelaidean cyclist leggos. We embraced, he is very kind and lovely. And together we sat in a silent morning daze, on the edge of nihilism in the face of another day, but as the rays of the sun fought their way through the blinds, we shook our heads clear of their dustiness and begun our days.

Bike built (with the help of Andy’s marvellous and very useful Park Tools Work Stand), coffee had and Ebenezer Place along with Treadly Bici Shoppe looked at, I joined Adrian and his crew of mischief makers for a self styled* “recovery ride”. *self styled becomes contextually importante

Here is where the riding begins, and by God, this was no recovery. I had been had. More than less, this was in search of down for the sake of up, short and sharp, anaerobic heart rates, sweat stinging the eyes. And a whole lot of smiles, sweeping descents and laughs. Okay, the photos begin now jeez

This ride was tough, by no means am I a mountain goat on bike, nor is my bike the stiffest $15,000 hot mess an Investment Banker in team kit would put on the card for points - but I reached each crest, and pushed past them. I also learnt the value in compact chainrings and the Dean Jones 32t Cassette Workout Programme, the hard way. 

This gruelling adventure, off the back of the Thursday night storm which lashed the windows of Adelaide, my plane and soul all equally, was exactly what I set out to be a part of. Tour Envy(tm) had been avoided, innate human desire for suffering and self destruction satiated, belly grumbling for nutrition and brain yearning for naps all ticked off in a 420 birds with one stone bonanza.

Big thanks to Alex, Adrian, Cam and Finn for having me along. Glad I could keep up - or that you kept a gentle pace ;)

We managed to make it in time for a little interview with Lachy Morton, hurr’ing and durr’ing as he does, and a little viewing of Thereabouts 3, with Lachy Morton’s hurr’ing and durr’ing offset by brother Gus Morton’s sharp green eyes and we were ready to eat.

Now, there aren’t any photos of my evening: a grand feast, the likes of which have never seen before, was had in the halls of Kopi Tim, Adelaide’s finest vegan friendly Malaysian restaurant. Why no photos? This is a photo bloggo after all you dolt. Well because it was one of those times, so sublime was my company that my finger ne’er did reach for a shutter - nay it didn’t reach for much other than food and my single accompanying beer (cheers to Max who joined my lead-out attack in that regard, and made me not feel like a freak in a bunch of healthy vibrant non-drinking... people who are really wonderful. This is sprawling). And so three meals inhaled down my gullet later we bid adieu to Kopi Tim and slowly rolled through the city, branching off as the intersections came and went. 

A big thank you to Andy, Caz, Jake, Gen, Sam, Fiona, Lana, Max and Faz for making that dinner sit as a trophy in my heart. These are fantastic people with big kind hearts, full of empathy and love. Big ups. 

Day 2

Willunga Return - pro cycling is very boring (terms and conditions apply*)

Because I am a very delicate flower I’m not used to back to back days of long riding, but there was something in the air, something in the water, food, bed linen, that invigorated the spirit and granted bonuses to Strength, Intelligence, Dexterity, Constitution, Wisdom and Charisma. It was essentially the DnD v5 character sheet with a Bard and Cleric char giving squad bonuses on a 5d5 roll that always hits. Duh, it’s a buff.

Now on the vein of me being a flower - I slept in, received messages from Caz along the lines of “where are you?”, “Get up and get here”, “We’re going to leave”, “Oh what?”, “Oops yes you’re right the ride doesn’t leave until 9am”. #ProHours Caz. Anyway, she did save me from myself, and as a flower does I rolled out of bed like a sack of potatoes, rolled into kit, rolled into town, rolled into the cafe and rolled some coffee into my body, then rolled into the hills on my bike, all the fashion of a sack of potatoes. 

This was a day spent cruising, some challenging difficult climbing, some loose gravel but always followed with smiles. That’s very much what this was - a day of smiles.

It’s really just a whole lot of me sitting on Andy’s wheel. I don’t have a single regret - that booty just so fine.

This was a long’un - a series of episodic run-ins with friends from all over, as if the entirety of Melbourne’s cyclist mass had migrated west, diving head first into the summer instead of patiently waiting it’s arrival back home. 

I’m just gushing and stammering madly about how good the entire time was - and thus I’d like to continue thanking people who helped make it so pleasant, in the extreme. Lana, Max, Andy, Tim, Alex, Faz (even though she relentlessly dropped us, forgetting, surely, for the entire day that she wasn’t in fact registered to race in the Tour itself), Caz, Gen and Jake for being a thoroughly entertaining and early rising support crew. And I’d like to thank myself for just being me, you know.

Of the evening itself I can’t remember much, perhaps in a fugue state I was unable to consolidate as my cup overflowth with joy - an analogous situation reminiscent of Socrates story of the Three Sieve:

From Lyceum Philosophy, Happy and Freedom in Socrates & Callicles:

A brief description of the two myths is in order. In the first one, Socrates speaks about those uninitiated ones in Hades who carry water into a leaky jar using a leaky sieve (where the sieve is meant to be the soul). And because they leak, he likens the souls of fools to sieves (493b-c). In the second, he tells of two men, each of whom has many jars. The jars belonging to one of them are sound and full (one with honey, another with milk, etc.). It is also supposed that the sources of each of these things are scarce and so attainable only with much toil. Now the one man, having filled up his jars, doesn’t pour anything more into them and so he can relax. As for the other man, he too has the resources that can be attained, though with difficulty, but his jars are perforated and rotten. And so he’s forced to continually fill them, all day round, or else he suffers frustration and pain (493d-494a). 

And yet Socrates, there I sat, a man with a full jar - happy as Larry with yet more to pour in and spill lavishly around the outside of what I envisage as a mason jar, full of a banana soy protein milkshake. I’ll stick to that, you enjoy your hemlock, bro.

I went to bed happy once again.

*Riding 3 hours to see Sagan not pop a wheelie for 3 seconds rates poorly. Pro cycling is a good view from a couch, and even then, most of the time it’s white noise until the final 10km. So if it’s not friends, or me, I don’t super care. This is just another person’s opinion.

Day 3

Let’s hit the hills, let’s feel sore and go to to a cafe

Hey it was something of a inner-chuff, feeling familiar with Montecute road, enough to pace myself at least to the top of Corkscrew. Having been duped by The Adrian Zanado ‘I don’t know how to run a recovery ride’ recovery ride, I decided not to give Corkscrew another strong burl. This decision was compounded by a half rotten corpse that used to be Mason Hender, that I found at the top (later analysis proved a solid 15km ave [or something], and roughly 300watts ave [I think thats like 8.5watts per kg]).

And on we went, resting here and there, enjoying the calm gentle afternoon. Time to stop by a clearwater babbling brook to watch the fish lazily wave their tails against the flow of the stream felt like something we could do for hours were it not for the immediately pressing of matter of getting Cam the fuck home asap as soon as goddamn fucking possible, holy shit they’re gonna fucking leave without him, shit what they dumped his stuff outside the hotel room? What the fuck, dude we’re like 60km and 1,000m up and away from there, fuck fuck okay lets fucking bomb down the old freeway oh fuck.

After the frantic descending at 70km/ph we finally bombed our way into the CBD to be greeted with this:

Were they happy that Cam’s ride took far far longer than we had possibly anticipated? We will never know, it’s one of those meta physical matters that only death would grant us the answers to. And yet, maybe not even then - who could possibly say.

What I can say is that the meal I had at this cafe was top notch. And out the window went my Melbournian elitism as Adelaide planted itself firmly as a strong contender for Second Capital City (Maybe) after Melbourne (and definitely never Sydney). In this scenario the whole of Canberra has dishonourably retired from the political and economic world after using tax payer money to buy apartments on the Gold Coast.

So in closing...

What can I say about TdU2017 and the people of Adelaide?

My heart swells - I can say that with a keen crystal clarity. I feel much love for the event of TdU, not specifically for the event itself - as well organised as it is. Not specifically for the city of Adelaide which opens it’s arms and accepts us all, allowing us to clog it’s road arteries and veins. It’s not even specifically the love of cycling itself, no - it’s very much the people on the bikes. 

Sure, I don’t know them all, that would be outrageous. But the ones I do know are the best of people. I wrote this earlier, and to repeat myself: I’ve found in them a great kindness, openness and empathy. Immediately they’ve warmed to new people and like their city, open their arms to us. I’m glad to know I’ll see them at least once a year for (hopefully) many many years to come.

Now this isn’t to say us Melbournian’s are the pits - nah we’re pretty great too. Some of the finest were out there, and for every moment I spent with them I am thoroughly appreciative. 

So in closing: smiles, laughter, a heavy pedal, sweat dripping from the tip of my nose after a deep exhale. These small moments made a whole, and it’s a whole I’ll treasure.

[pj-mercury]

Oops,

....my hand slipped.

Emile just finished setting up the panel, getting over the fact that Jon yelled at him for what-the-fuck-ever, and Emile is still really thirsty ever since he caught this nasty cold, he’s been drinking water out the ass, two bottles to be exact. He began drinking his third when he heard murmuring outside. The panel was about to start!

Jon walks over to Emile to make sure he had the events ready to go for the fans when he notices all the water bottles in the trashcan and one in his hand. "Lemme guess, you're down with a cold again, happens every year, it's like a tradition" Jon says, crossing his arms, going through a stack of cards of things he was going to mention at the panel.

“Yeah i guess. Looks like this panel’s going to be a long one too. Ugh, i just wanna go sleep.” Emile complained between sips of water.

"Oh, stop complaning today's gonna be a blast" Jon says to Emile as Tim bumps into Jon while carrying a whole bunch of camera equipment. "Sorry, this stuff is heavy" Tim says to Jon as he sets the equipment down on the table and begins to set it up. Tim looks over to Emile "Man, it looks like you haven't slept in 3 years!" Tim jokes with Emile.

Emile giggles, “Yeah right?” he began feeling a little funny, but he shrugged it off. They had to get the panel done and over with anyway, he wasn’t just going to flake out in front of a billion fans!

"Are you guys ready for a stampede?!" Jon smirks as he's about to open the doors, they could hear the fans screaming their names.

Emile nodded, “Let’s get it going!!” he shouted excitedly, which made him feel a tingling sensation in his lower abdomen. Emile hypothetically “d’oh” ‘ed himself for not using the bathroom before the panel! he hoped he would make it.

"All right!" Jon opens the door "Welcome to the panel everybody!" Jon shouts, Tim looking a bit nervous but excited. The fans huddle around the table, the crowd was getting heated, this has been the biggest panel they've had in 2 years. Tim finally got the camera ready and was recording the crowd's size. "Wooow" Tim says as he gets the massive shot.

As everyone starts to settle and have a seat, Emile sneaks out through the ocean of fans and tries to find a bathroom. He leaks a little, gasping as he has to stop to gain self control. he walks around a bit more before noticing a women’s bathroom. ‘There must be a men’s bathroom around, right?’ Emile thought, as the urge got worse. he saw a men’s bathroom, then gasped as he saw an “out of order” sign on the door of the men’s room.

“No..not now..” Emile groaned as the pressure increased on his abdomen. He groaned softly as he pressed his thighs together. Jon notices Emile trying to sneak out, "oh no you don't!" Jon grabs Emile's hand and brings him back to the panel. "The panel just started, what are you doing sneaking out like that?" Jon questions Emile while raising a brow.

Emile almost wanted to tell Jon, but he was too shy, he blushed, “I was just looking for a vending machine, y’know, for another drink?” Emile smiled at Jon, secretly covering up his tracks. "Boy. How much are you going to drink?!" Jon asks putting a hand near Emile's face. Jon could hear some female fans mumbling something about Protonconroy, Jon just sighs "Look, the vending machines are near the entrance, surprised you didn't see them on the way in, now I gotta go cater to these people" Jon looks down frustrated as he leaves the brunet.

Emile let out a huff, he did not like the way those girls stared at them, so he bought a fiji water to show that he wasn’t kidding. Emile goes up to the stage, and the microphone is handed to him unexpectedly. Looking around, he heard his fans cheering his name. “Hey everybody, we’re the runaway guys!”

The fans screamed and cheered, Jon walks up onto the stage with his hands up in the air like the special little shit he is and grabs the mic from Emile "I'm ProtonJon,   if you need me I'll be here all day" Tim runs onto the stage too, abandoning the camera for a sec "don't forget me, NintendoCaprisun! How are you all doing  today?" The fans all reply "GOOD!" Tim hands the mic to Emile as he runs back to attend his camera before someone runs off with it.

Emile grabs the mic from Tim, “and i’m Chuggaaconroy!!” This time, the fans cheered the loudest for emile as he sat back down. The pressure in Emile’s bladder was getting worse now. Emile looked over to jon as he passed him the mic. Emile then looked to the full bottle of fiji water and sighed.

"Glad to hear you're all doing fabulous today. Remember not to get too close to Chugga, he's sicker than a dog." Jon laughs, some of the fans go "Awww" feeling sympathy for one of their favorite Youtubers. Tim positions the camera over to Emile looking downwards at his full bottle of water that he hasn't even touched yet. Emile rolls his eyes as he opens his water and starts to drink. he waves a hand at Tim’s camera before putting the water down.

Tim smiles a little as his camera goes over the audience again, a whole buch of fans were recording too with their cell phones. Jon sits down and settles down a little as he opens up his own water bottle and starts to sip it. Emile took a quick glance at the condensation dripping from the bottle and shudders. He really needed to pee now, he had to tell jon!

“uh, Jo-“

"C'mon everyone let's start the panel!" Jon shouts as everyone cheers the guys on.

Emile quickly turned to face the crowd, and blushed, fidgeting a little. ‘I guess i could wait a little while, right?’ In his thinking, he was called up to play a competition game of Mario Kart with a fan. As Emile held the controller, he had the urge to grab himself, but the feeling quickly subsided as he kept playing, terribly at that since he couldn’t focus. The fan won, Emile lost, and Emile was to give out a prize to the winner. As he gave the prize, a single leak bled through his pants, although barely noticeable, was still there. Emile exhaled, he didn’t know how long he could keep this up.

"C'mon Emile, This little girl Jessie wants to play with you too" Jon says with his hand on an 8 year old girl's shoulder as she has this big ol' smile on her face. Emile mustered a smile, he couldn’t take the adorableness! He HAD to keep his fans happy, right? Five minutes later, another game done with, Emile walks back to his seat, every step sends a jolt up his spine, making him get goosebumps on his arms.

"Emile, you got another one, this guy's name is Mario" Jon mentions as he taps Emile's shoulder, this kid was wearing a full-on Mario outfit, who knows if his name was actually Mario? Emile weakly waved a hand to the cosplayer as he sat back down to play. Now it was a round of mario party, eatsa pizza? really? REALLY? Emile shrugged off how random that was, and got to the game. Again, he couldn’t really focus like in the first game, and he had to cross his legs while he played. another game lost, more prizes given out, and Emile felt as if he were to explode at any given moment. As he sat back in his seat at the table, he held himself freely and made sure no one was looking. he clenched his thighs together as he blushed strongly.

Jon was noticing Emile acting strange he goes up to Emile and whispers "are you alright, you're acting kinda funny?" Emile quickly put his hands to his sides and smiled weakly. “Yeah, i’m okay Jon!” His voice wavered. "Thats good to hear, now get back in there, you have another fan, this here is Juan" The blond says as he has a hand on Juan's shoulder smirking a little at Emile, knowing he's getting tired of losing.

Emile made a fake smile at the child, and went back to gaming. The game is sky pilots. Emile’s bladder felt like it was going to burst, he jiggled his legs as he tilted his head back and sighed, trying to ACTUALLY focus on the game, but couldn’t. another game lost for emile, juan thanked him for the prize as he walked back to the crowd. As Emile walked back to his seat, he noticed the door opening, it was Masae, she must be here to accompany the panel as well. Masae was letting the door open for Lucah, who was carrying more gaming systems in.

"Alright, we got 2 more hours folks!" Jon says getting everyone's attention.

‘Two hours?!’ Emile thought, his soul sinking to his shoes. he had to get out of here, he was going to- ‘No, i-i can’t! Not here!’ Emile couldn’t even muster the courage to even imagine if THAT ever happened! Unthinking, Emile ran out the door of the panel, making a beeline for a bathroom.

"AAA!! IT'S CHUGGAACONROY!!" A female fan screams, grabbing Emile by the back of his polo shirt. "Oh my god I love your videos, oh my god I love everything abiut you oh my god I love you oh my god!!" She says flipping out.

“N-No, please I-“

"I was watching your Splatoon let's play the other day while I was getting ready to fly up here, I was so looking forward to visit you I just love you so much oh my god, like you're amazing person omg like youre such an inspiration oh my god I love your videos and everything about you oh my god" she continues to ramble on and on.

“I-I’m so sorry!!” Emile yells suddenly, freeing the grip of the fangirl and running down the hall of the convention center.

The fan looks at Emile running down the hall and says "what the heck is his problem?!"

Emile felt horrible, for one, he left his fan hanging like a dick, but what to save, his loyalty or his dignity?

Jon looks over as a flood of fans go on to follow Emile. Jon sips his water "looks like Emile's having a fun time." Jon smirks being the snarky asshole he is.

Emile turned a corner and slowed his pace, grabbing on to his crotch with both hands, trying to hold back the flood, but to no avail. Emile froze as a wave of desperation came over him, he had to stop, he was going to have an accident!

Jon was curious to see how Emile was doing so he followed the stampede. Jon finally catches up "Looks like you're having fu-" Jon notices Emile grabbing onto his crotch. "You okay Emile?"

Emile turned his head slowly to face Jon, and a bunch of confused fans, and turns around slowly, tears in his eyes. He notices a men’s room right behind the sea of fans. Emile breaks down on the spot and the floodgates open. Emile takes his hands away from his crotch to see a wet patch forming on the front of his pants. he looks around at the sudden reaction of the crowd, back at his pants, and back at the crowd. he then gropes himself again. more urine escapes emile, and is now forming a puddle on the carpet, some even made its way into his converse high tops. A pleasurable euphoria washed over emile as he whimpered, giving up on trying to stop the flow. he kept going until the stream slowed to a fitful trickle and stopped. Emile was crying as he stood there, he put his face in his hands and cried for a while.

The fans gasped in horror as some fans took out their phones to record, Jon sees the fan recording and he takes their phone and throws it as he takes his hoodie off and gives it to Emile. "It's going to be alright, take it."

Emile was still crying, breathing unevenly as Tim tried calming Emile down by hugging him. “You’re gonna be fine, deep breath.” Emile took slower and slower breaths as he took jon’s hoodie, ran into the men’s bathroom, and locked himself in a stall. Jon goes into the bathroom with Emile and knocks on the stall door. "You okay in there?"

Emile wiped his tears on Jon’s hoodie, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Jon, I’m such a child.”

"No you're not, you should have said something Emile." Jon says, feeling sympathy for his friend. "Open up the stall, Emile"

Emile opens the bathroom stall, revealing his wet pants to jon, the blue denim clinging to Emile’s legs. Emile teared up again, “I’m sorry.” he whispered.

"It's not your fault Emile...C'mere" Jon says as he hugs onto his friend tightly. emile accepts Jon’s hug as he breaks down quietly in jon’s arms.  they stay like this for a solid minute, before emile broke free of Jon’s hug. “i just wanna sleep…” Emile rubbed his eyes and sniffled.

"Same over here, Emile It's been a long day" Jon smiles as he looks at Emile lovingly.