#i know both of these shows are fundamentally different but they're my favourite shows EVER

[celestial-sapphicss]

my school president has the same chokehold over me as bad buddy. but while bad buddy had me lose my head and literally cry tears of angst almost every episode, my school president gives me so much silly joy and a serotonin boost every episode.

gmmtv giving me the softest of the shows, literally a queer fantasy, an year after making me feral over a show so deep rooted in queer(asian)-reality and trauma, is that aftercare?

[raayllum]

Callum 🤝 Stoick

“For you, my dear, anything.”

Everyone loves to draw comparisons between Callum and Hiccup (when they’re pretty fundamentally different people beyond the obvious surface level similarities) but sleep on this comparison! Love it

Gonna go on a deep dive cause Hiccup is one of my favourite characters ever but I've never written meta about him so

In some ways, Hiccup and Callum are similar - especially in terms of how they present. They're both goofy, more than a little awkward, deeply curious and compassionate, extremely loyal once you've earned/have their loyalty, a bit flighty and sometimes focused too much on the big picture in lieu of missing the little things. They both grew up feeling like the wrong fit for their environment/culture and it takes bonding with a mysterious, dangerous enemy and subsequent life changing adventure for them to start figuring out where they belong (and how). I think they'd get along splendidly and would absolutely show off flying tricks

However, they are also radically different, mostly because Hiccup is far more rebellious (and particularly in early HTTYD1) far more selfish than Callum is.

Due to a vicious cycle of "I want to prove myself to the village" -> "I mess up" -> "Village is annoyed by me" and a lack of other tangible options of places and circumstances to go into, Hiccup is about as bullheaded as it gets. Even before he meets Toothless, he's not super concerned about being a Viking according to his people's standards, and we don't know if he actually tried at being a traditional Viking very hard before he switched to machinery and inventing (I've also leaned towards not, but that's up for interpretation). He simply wants them to recognize that he can be a Viking, too, by his own standards - and in some ways better and more effectively than they can because he's using his smarts and not just his ('nonexistent') brawn. He's effectively beholden to no one but himself, especially since his relationship with his father is so strained and Gobber does his best, but is understandably not a perfect substitute / cannot be everything a 15 year old boy needs or wants to have socially. This is also why Stoic's scoldings are so ineffective, because pre-Toothless Hiccup doesn't really care that much if he royally mucks things up for the Village time and time again if it's in pursuit of praise/recognition - which is not entirely unreasonable (we all want attention/positive reinforcement) particularly for a teenager, but it is short sighted and immature.

Then he meets Toothless, and learns 1) how to put something and someone else heavily above his own wants & needs, and 2) how to contribute to the village in a way that would be beneficial for everyone, not just the people (beginning of the movie)/himself, or for the dragons/himself (when he was planning to run away), but for all of them, irregardless of himself. This journey is ultimately what's culminated in the third movie by finally living up to his father ("How do you become someone that great, that brave, that selfless?") by willing to do with Toothless what Stoic was willing to do with him: to let him go, so that he'd be Safe. The first thing Hiccup ever did, that set him on an entirely new path after all, was to set a dragon free. I always thought it was very fitting that was his final act as well.

And it's this journey from selfish slightly sarcastic but intelligent, sympathetically immature teenager to a wiser, selfless, less independent but more reliable adult, aided by the events of the films, the memory/inspiration of his father, everything about Toothless and his love/support of Hiccup, and Astrid being about as devoted to Berk as it gets (which is absolutely something Hiccup needs) that allows him to be a great Chief. He's able to put the greater good of his family and people above what he may personally want in the short term ("I was so busy thinking about the world that I wanted, I didn't think about what you needed") to prioritize his goals in the long term ("And we'll guard the secret until the time comes that dragons can return in peace").

And due to all of this, Callum starts out in a fundamentally different place, because he always has an internal and externally imposed responsibility from the start: Ezran. "Take care of your brother," are Harrow's final, parting words to him, after all, and we see Callum take this with him throughout the series, whether it's trying to be assassinated in Ezran's place, promising to return and help him once Zym is brought home, or rushing to defend him when he thinks there's another plot against the king. This is also where we see Callum's selective loyalty creep in. While Callum would make a great general due to his tactician skills and ability to think ahead, he is ultimately too reckless and obsessive to make a good king - or in the Hiccup comparison, Chief. Although both are leadership roles, having Ezran / others there to temper him occasionally as a general is crucial - he needs that safety net (or someone to tell him to keep his eyes on the road) which him being the final authority on the throne would not provide ("I may be queen but even I can't stop those two when they've set their minds on something") that not being on the throne can marginally provide. This is also one of the reasons why I don't think either Callum or Rayla are really suited to a long term life at court / as royalty, but post for another day <3

Callum also has more of a temper and more of a nasty temper toward his loved ones as well that Hiccup really doesn't have a shred of - he'll be sarcastic and a bit snippy but he'll never aim for the jugular, y'know? (Hiccup is also more marginally prone to self blame probably because he's grown up enough to take full responsibility for his actions after a childhood of mostly shirking/dismissing them, but like side tangent)

So like Callum's consistent sense of responsibility keeps him tempered and more mild mannered and less rebellious (and him and Harrow have a much better relationship than pre-HTTYD1 Hiccup and Stoick, which absolutely helps; each may have resembled each other more in HTTYD2 esque dynamic if Harrow had lived to see Callum mature / grow into himself a bit more) but also leaves him far more selectively loyal / focused on his own bubble most of the time.

Like Hiccup is just loyal enough (aided by Astrid) to his People to like be able to do the ins and outs and enjoy it overall? And I've never gotten the same sense from Callum at any point in the series (which "I'm beholden to my inner circle, not some silly kingdom" - thank you TOX). And I do think the way Callum would want to change the world is more magic based - teaching other people how to connect and harness magic - is more in line for him overall but again: post for another day (and we'll have to see where canon goes). Because of Toothless, Hiccup's bubble expands to Astrid and the gang and his father, fully, and stays expanded; Toothless gave him the family & support he needed to no longer need Toothless to stay in the same manner. For Callum, his bubble is Ezran, expands to Rayla as well over the course of arc 1 at first because of Ezran and because of their own bond - and it doesn't really expand with the same intensity to basically anyone else (see Callum being worried, sure, about Soren in 4x06/4x07 but also a lot more focused in general in how Soren's absence is affecting Rayla and thereby focusing on reassuring her)

Callum is also just way more of a loose canon, at least to me. Trying out the lightning spell just because in 1x05 with no safety net, staying way too long at the Great Bookery in 5x04 when they absolutely could've just come back after stopping Aaravos and co., and again: he just has an edge to him that Hiccup doesn't? It's hard to describe and I don't think there's necessarily a reason behind besides "they're two different characters with accordingly different characterizations" but I can't see Hiccup doing dark magic or being tempted by it - even if it was to save Toothless, or something? He's just too much of a bleeding heart/animal lover and a lot more Ezran on that level

Long characterization aside, I actually think Rayla and Hiccup are probably more similar in that rebellious / witty streak to your disappointed more restrictive tougher mentor (Runaan, Stoick) but that Callum 100% has Stoick's devotion to Valka down pat. "For you my dear, anything," the slow approach in asking but not assuming she'll be his wife again, the forgiveness and understanding of Valka and Rayla staying away all that time, the "I don't want another. Your mother was the only woman for me. She was the love of my life" excuse me while I go cry.

[loftec]

Last week's Weekly Tag Wednesday!

Because I was festival prepping last week and had zero time for anything else but now I'm back and ready for some tags! Thank you @wehangout @mmmichyyy @michellemisfit for the tag (and also @deedala & @jrooc for the picrew tags!) <3

Name and A03 handle: lofty / loftec

Current Location: Sofa, living room.

Favorite picrew (don't have one? you can skip this or do this one)? I can't remember if I have a favourite one, so I'll just do this one!

The "SF" probably stands for something, but I immediately thought of Svensk Filmindustri and thought that was fun.

What's one thing you want in a picrew?

MORE GLASSES OPTIONS omg please. Colour and shape. I also really love it when I can build the hair in sections so I can colour my roots differently than the rest of the hair. Also, worse hair options. Come on, normalise 'I've got no hair texture or interest or time to do anything about it'. I feel like an imposter whenever I pick one of these perfectly swooshy dos.

Favourite thing you’ve created (or seen created) for the fandom?

None the wiser

Why is it your favourite? It's mad to think about but it was the first thing I decided to make for this fandom, and I'm still working on it (very very slowly) I don't know if I've ever spent this much time and effort on anything else. It's very special to me.

Did it come easily or was it hard to create? Both, right now it's very hard, but it usually comes back around.

Last ao3 fic you commented on? A Dead Boy Detectives fic, I'm pretty sure.

Biggest WIP heartache you’ve ever experienced? I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't usually read WIPs, not really because they're unfinished but because I don't often read long fic lol. My ideal fic for reading is a concise 5k oneshot, I am a terrible hypocrite.

Favorite trope or head cannon you like included in a fanfic? I do love a good outside perspective on Ian and Mickey's relationship not fully getting their dynamic and misunderstanding their special flavour of love. Also really like different canon-divergent stories where they get separated in different moments and then reunited in the future in various ways.

Least favourite? For most ships / fandoms I read fic of, I usually develop a set of icks that cause me to click out more or less immediately, often it's to do with a certain nickname or expression or act that I can't physically stand, or, you know, which signal a fundamental mismatch between mine and the author's focus/interests/views. Unfortunately, any mention of anything happening after season 5 has become a bit of an ick for me, which is deeply unfair to writers who embrace the later half of the show.

Secret or surprising kink or trope? No, I'm extremely basic tbh. My favourite time to read fic for a new fandom is always at the very start when everybody is writing the same super basic story over and over again.

Describe how you feel after you’ve created something new? The best feeling is when I know I've written the last sentence of a story or a chapter, it's always so clear that this, this is it, that's where it ends. I feel really accomplished and complete in that moment and it's great. Then there's still hours and hours of editing after that and it's usually 4 in the morning and I'm feeling slightly unhinged when I actually post.

Top hype man you have that always helps you get across the finish line: I tend to keep to myself when I'm working on something, but I can always rely on @mittimellan @wideblueskies & @the-rat-wins if I ever need to ramble about anything.

It's been a bad day, you turn to the fandom and you _____? Lurk and enjoy the good vibes and crafts. I probably also find something in my bookmarks that I've already read a thousand times and read it again.

[akookminsupporter]

I've always heard that armys are known within the kpop sphere for being particularly uninterested in other groups, but I'm not even sure if that's true. I don't think I've ever heard of an army that will go out of their way to specifically not listen to other kpop groups like 'oh god I would NEVER watch a mv that's not bts.' Having said that, there may be a chunk of army that don't like kpop as a genre and only like bts as a subsection of it. Even so, I'm pretty sure most armys have some baseline familiarity with other groups' most popular songs just from existing in this space. But, while I can appreciate a song from another group, why would I buy it? If NMD hadn't charted at #1 in the U.S., it wouldn't have been another kpop group's song that did, it would have been a western artist's. It seems like they're operating from the perspective that there's a finite number of people willing to listen to kpop out there and bts are somehow monopolizing it, which is so weird bc (1) Kpop's target audience can always grow, and bts grew it, and (2) neither army nor bts owe kpop as a genre anything. Personally, I like kpop, and I think having more korean artists recognized for making good music on the world stage would be great, but that doesn't mean I'm going to buy their music.

Is Kpop a genre or an industry? Or is it both?

All I can say is that we have seen end-of-the-year award shows where many other groups perform, presenting the best they have had that year. For many of us, that has been enough. In my case, I've heard parts of songs on TikTok that I liked, but when I decide to look up and listen to the whole song, I'm disappointed. I'm not saying the group is bad; it's just that their music doesn't appeal to me. It's as simple as that, but some Kpoppies don't want to understand that. Another thing they don't want to understand—and I feel they don't, partly because they don't experience the same with their favs—is the connection with the members. It goes a bit beyond the music; some would call it parasocial relationships, but it's not as exciting as that. BTS is different in many ways from their peers, and it's something that no one has been able to replicate, copy, or repeat. Not even HYBE or BigHit.

The success or failure of other groups is not BTS's fault, and certainly not its fandom. That responsibility lies entirely with each group and their fans. Just as BTS's success is thanks to them and their fandom.

Fans control the charts (I know they can be manipulated, but fundamentally, they are controlled by the fans), so it is the responsibility of the fans to ensure their favourite groups reach the top positions. It is also the group's responsibility to attract a large number of people who want to become their fans and, therefore, are willing to invest time and money in them. It's a fairly straightforward operation, and there is no room for anything else in it.

If BTS's fandom is large and, therefore, has more resources to achieve things, it means the group fulfilled its part of the deal well, and the fandom, as a result, is fulfilling theirs. It's really simple.

It seems like they're operating from the perspective that there's a finite number of people willing to listen to kpop out there and bts are somehow monopolizing it, which is so weird bc (1) Kpop's target audience can always grow, and bts grew it, and (2) neither army nor bts owe kpop as a genre anything.

Totally and I don't understand that mentality.

[zalrb]

Thoughts on Good Omens season 2 over all? I had a great time with it. I see some people saying the plot was kinda thin and the side characters boring, and I sort of agree, but I showed up to watch Aziraphale and Crowley so I didn’t really mind that the rest of it was nothing special. I thought they did a great job showing the strange limbo they’ve been in, where they’re closer than ever in some ways but still haven’t come to a true understanding. And they have such great old married couple energy the whole way through!

I had issues with the Lindsey aspect of the whole Nina/Maggie plot line because I understood Nina and Maggie being mirrors for Crowley and Aziraphale and Lindsey being a stand in for Heaven/Hell dictating how they should act but I was also like, I mean Nina is in an emotionally abusive relationship and to just kind of throw that in and not really do much with it and only use it as a parallel to Aziraphale and Crowley's situation is unfulfilling for me, otherwise I didn't really mind Maggie and Nina, I just kind of felt like there should be more filled in with them if they were going to be a fixture in the season.

In terms of Aziraphale and Crowley, I did think they did a good job in showing how close they've gotten with the details like Crowley knowing Aziraphale's tones of voice

or him being like I understood what you said in French because you've spoken about it for 250 years

or how Aziraphale will just tell him to order him a sherry and what I seem to naturally do with relationship dynamics like this one is focus on the person in the relationship whose feelings are evident and there and clear but not as plainly conveyed as the other. So, for instance, Crowley is the one who Nina and Maggie speak to

Crowley is the one who kisses Aziraphale

Shax speaks of Crowley's devotion to Aziraphale

I think the audience is a bit more aligned with Crowley coming to terms with how he feels than with Aziraphale because of direct lines like this

so I naturally focus on Aziraphale and his feelings for Crowley and how they're portrayed because I don't find it to be as plain as the aforementioned and therefore a little more interesting to observe, like the fact that Aziraphale has diary entries of his various adventures with Crowley (peak crush behaviour)

and that's why this is my favourite part of the season

because this, to me, says more about Aziraphale than Crowley, a) because like I said before, Aziraphale is positively tickled to be saved by Crowley b) making Crowley happy makes him happy even when they're in immediate danger.

So, what I found interesting about their dynamic this season is that while Crowley may "move too fast" for Aziraphale with suggesting running off together, in a lot of ways, Aziraphale is already comfortable with things we see Crowley coming to terms with in real time i.e. Aziraphale already knew in the 40s that they would always get each other off the hook (Crowley knew because he'd been coming through for Aziraphale for a very long time by that point as well but he's not comfortable with admitting it)

he was already comfortable with the knowledge he'd put his life in Crowley's hands, that he trusted him absolutely

or things like publicly showing some form of intimacy

and Crowley being like wait what?

and in that sense, Aziraphale is the one who pushes Crowley and is the one who's actually moving faster

even in the first episode while Crowley natural talks about them as a pair, he doesn't call attention to it

and when he reverts from talking about them as a unit to talking about himself

Aziraphale immediately calls attention to the fact that there is in fact a "them", he verbalizes it

and he has no problem admitting that he both needs and wants Crowley by his side

so it was interesting seeing these things and this intimacy and this personal development of acknowledging how much they mean to each other while they also have fundamental ideological differences that in the past had compelled the other to look at things from a different point of view but in the end (of the season) ends up ripping them apart.

[nutcasewithaknife]

Rules: List 10 comfort shows and then tag 10 people

Sorry its been a while since I got tagged! thank u @fangdoubing <33

In no particular order, here goes:

1. Old Fashion Cupcake

I have watched this start to finish over 5 times in just the last year. Confident gay who is actively having a crisis all the time? An older man coming to terms with himself at 40? Who would've thought an office drama could go that hard. Especially when everything about it is so soft it just wraps me up in a warm fuzzy blanket

2. Beyond Evil

Something about how justice and grief and guilt and love are all one massive tangled knot that none of us can hope to sort through without each other. About wanting to be damned but being saved instead, and finding out it's just as painful.

3. Word of Honor

MY FIRST C-DRAMA. the sheer plot chaos. Gremlin murder husbands and their kids. The manic delight of seeing how hard they went with the gay despite censorship. Glorious unparalleled and perfect

4. The Untamed

My second c-drama gays. Fundamentally altered my view on people and relationships. Came for the gay, left haunted by every single sibling relationship. How devastating grief can be, and how moving on is both inevitable and impossible.

5. The Good Place

FAVOURITE COMEDY EVER. There's so much love and kindness at its very core. Commentary on the inherently fucked up nature of the capitalist world AND the most gloriously absurd and meaningful afterlife system ever. They all have my entire heart.

6. Yuri!!! on Ice

I don't even know what to say. It's gorgeous. It's unbelievably soft and just. so lovely. Go watch it if you haven't it's worth it.

7. Good Omens

AUGH MY BELOVED 6000+ YEARS PINING ANGEL AND DEMON. I can watch them just exist around each other forever. S2 destroyed me but I don't regret a single thing

8. Bad Buddy

They're such fucking idiots. Obsessed with how silly and gross and sincere they are. It's the first Thai BL I went beserk over

9. Moonlight Chicken

The next Thai BL I went berserk about!! I think it does a lovely job of showing queer relationships for different generations with their differences without condemning or glorifying any one. It's so sincere and grown up in an incredibly kind way.

10. Mysterious Lotus Casebook

If you've gone through the last 2 months without blocking me for the MLC spam, thank u. It won't stop anytime soon. I'm just obsessed with li lianhua and his tragic and convoluted connection to grief and the past. Also also his silly little polycule. The biggest emotional mindfuck of an ending since BBC Merlin. The brainrot is here to stay

Tagging @istgidek1234 @redemption-revenge @difeisheng @linacies @deus-ex-moshina @t4tadrienette @tejoxys @fanghuas @franklloydweft (feel free to ignore, no pressure!) and just anyone who wants to share :)

[alienducky]

I DEMAND THAT YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOUR BLORBOS (if you want)

So I had to double check what Blorbo means, and apparently it means your favourite character? In which case may I present a good % of the FE3H cast? ;P

I just... I love most of the students in different ways for different things?

Claude is just... Claude. He has so many layers to him, being both incredibly simple (in terms of what he ultimately wants) and also stupidly complex (in how he goes about getting those things)? He wants to make connections, make friends, bring everyone together, but has been burned too many times while growing up to ever really trust anyone. He's always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for that knife to land in his back. His closest friend is Hilda who openly shits on Almyra because she's a casual racist, and that has to kill him on some level, wondering what she'd say about him if she knew, and yet she's still his best friend who he openly mourns when she goes down fighting for him? Who he can't stand the thought of losing in Hopes? He has to be in charge, of everything. Has to know all the details, make all the plans. And then makes plans for in case the first ones fail. He never stops thinking, calculating, digging up all the information available, because knowledge is power. Not just for blackmail, but because understanding your opponent means you can predict them.

Claude's just great, and I could pick him apart for hours.

Also? He has a wyvern. So, ya know. I'm very simple and predictable, ok?

I also love Leonie. She's solid, very open and honest. Kinda stubborn, but open to learning and can admit when she's wrong. Puts Lorenz in his place which is always a bonus. I want her to be my friend!

Same with Raphael and Caspar to some degree. Caspar is a little less willing to the whole learning thing, but with enough rope to tie him to the chair so he can't run away I think he'd eventually listen? Raph sees the good in everyone and everything, always willing to help, and stands up for his beliefs. They're muscle heads, but fundamentally kind people who deserve way more love than they get

Marianne is a peach who straight up talks to animals! Hilda is a riot when she pulls her head out her racist ass who has way more depth than she lets on, with the whole loyalty till death thing, and her creative side with the jewellery. I want to tease Lysithea like Claude does and feed her cake and sweets while we discuss magic. Ignatz is doing his best and the flashes of backbone he shows in early supports are amazing

Annette and Ashe are wonderful and deserve all the best things in life. Two little cinnamon rolls trying to make the best of their monuments of childhood trauma

Sylvain is.... Um. Ok, he's kinda an ass sometimes, and if he were real I'd probably hate him, but the snippets of who he could have been without all that Miklan and crest trauma? That version of him I love. The one who goes all out for his friends, who is a self sacrificing moron who hurts himself over and over because he somehow thinks it'll make things better? The one who cares so, so deeply when he lets himself, despite trying to push everyone away and keep them at arm's reach so they can't hurt him first. The version of him who is loyal to a fault, through thick and thin, and who is forever torn and on some level broken in non Blue Lion routes.

That Sylvain I love. The one behind the smiling playboy mask he shows the world.

Petra is a Bean. A Very Good Bean. She deserves all the love and kindness and all the help she wants tracking down the bastards who dragged her from her home and then made fun of her being dumped in a completely alien society. She is so damn strong, both physically (srsly she's been a crit machine in every playthrough it's insane) and mentally, I don't have the words

Thea is great in every way. She's kind and compassionate and is lethal with her snark. I want her to adopt me as her little sister and teach me her ways

Bernie needs a hug. And also all the help she wants disposing of her father because I know she's creative herself but I have some ideas if she wants them? Despite how much she wants to hide, and complains about being made to go out, she does go out to help her friends when they need her

Cyril is amazing. I love him to bits. Absolutely no fucks left to give for Hilda's bullshit. Slowly learning how to have friends. Learning to rely on people other than Rhea. He's wonderful and adorable and he'd hate me for it but I want to ruffle his hair and help him with his chores and make sure he's not getting blisters and feed him tasty Almyran food coz I bet he misses it, even if he won't admit it.

Shamir is everything I wanted to be growing up. No nonsense, take no shit, super smart, stealthy, and an archer??? She's great. I need that Marge Simpson meme

Seteth is fantastic, because once you get past that straight faced rules lawyer, he has a wicked sense of humour and a playful side and is such a dad. He's kind and caring, and he honestly does care, even if he shows it oddly

Byleth is whatever I want them to be. Blank slate, who nevertheless loves the people they pick in each route. Fierce and loyal and loving and struggling to express barely understood emotions... And putting up with Sothis being a gremlin

And then omg, Shez. Shez Shez Shez. The embodiment of no thoughts head empty. No filter, at all. Jumps off fucking cliffs for funsies. Multiple times!!!!! I just. I love Shez, ok? I am in desperate need of Shez merch, and Etsy is failing me. All I can find is the occasional sticker and I am a very sad Duckie about it

Ahem

Non FE3H is a little difficult... Mostly because 3H is my current obsession, but I guess...

Arlo and Oaks, from My Time at Portia are great? Arlo eats spaghetti, kicks down doors, and gets sweaty in the summer. Oaks is the Best Bear Boy Bean in the world. Shame the Devs dropped the ball on developing him, or giving him a decent backstory (I have so, so many questions about how he was raised)

Also, probably don't count, but the Cotton Llamas and Panbats. They are my Blorbos too. I need to finish making my third Panbat... As soon as I work out where I stashed it <__<;;;

Dys from I Was A Teenage Exocolonist is great! Little rebel baby. Also Sym, who is... Not really someone you can sum up easily? Cal is also great! I need to get back to playing this game, so I can romance him. Or not, because I want him to be happy with Tammy... Nngh

I think that's everyone I'd consider a Blorbo...? I mean, I love a bunch of other characters from different things, but none I've got out of my way to buy merch for like I have Claude (and the other students to some extent. Looking at my sticker covered table).

Sorry that got so long >__<;;;

[zoe-murphy-is-my-wife]

So... dear Evan Hansah is closing. I- don't really know how to feel.

On the one hand, I've only known about this musical for a few month, and it really shouldn't mean that much to me. But the thing is, it does. It means so much to me. It became apart of my personality, and I don't think I could go back to living without this musical without changing a fundamental part of who I am today.

These characters, these actors, this fanbase, this story, they made my life better. They let me express emotions deep in me that I wasn't able to express before. It let me feel sad, and happy and happy to be sad (lol) and angry and defensive and excited, and so much more.

Is it the best musical out there? Probably not. Is it my favourite? Not really. But it was special to me. It's the musical that made me feel the most. Heck, you will be found is the only song that made me actually cry from any musical. It made me feel like I belonged somewhere at the hardest point in my life.

This whole musical, and everyone who worked on it or watched it made me feel like I belonged. Like I mattered. Like I wouldn't just dissappear. Like that if I was falling someone would be there to lift me off the ground. It gave me hope and it gave me something to lash onto.

So- thank you Dear Evan Hansan.

Thank you Cynthia Murphy for being there while I cried over how messed up my family seemed to be, and reminding me that every family can be messed up, and that it's important to find the good and normal in those moments of chaos.

Thank you Larry Murphy for reminding me that parents can make mistakes too, and that they're trying to do what's best for us. Thank you for showing me that parents do their best, and that I should be there for my parents just as much as they are for me.

Thank you Heidi Hansan for showing me the strength of a mother's love. For showing me that even when everything seems so big, and you feel so small, things will get better.

Thank you Connor Murphy, for showing me that everyone, even the people in the background, are struggling, and I should do my best to be there for them. That I should do my part so that no one is forgotten.

Thank you Jared Kleinman, for reminding me to laugh when stuff are shitty, for making me smile when thing are hard, bad, or rough. For reminding me to be a good friend, even when it's hard. That my friends only need to say the word, and I'll be there.

Thank you Alana Beck, for showing me that even when my mental health is getting me down, I can still make a difference, and I can still make peoples day better just by saying hey, or waving to them across the hall.

Thank you Zoe Murphy, for showing me that I should love and rsspect myself and not compromise that ever. That I should be kind to the people around me, but also not take anyones shit.

Finally, thank you Evan Hansan, for being there for me through the hardest time of my life. You were one of, if not the most, relatable character I've ever had the great fortune to meet. You're imperfect, but you try to help the people around you. You had to deal with so much shit in your life, but you still did all you can to be there for your mom. You lied and did truly horrible stuff, but you also tried to help, and in the end you did end up helping, both the Murphys, and me. You inspired me to write, you make me want to put myself out there, you make me cry and scream and laugh and I wouldn't be here without you. Thank you.

@sincerely-us

[positivityjediprince]

Get to Know Me - A Tag Game

rules: tag a few people you want to know better; make a new post, don't reblog!

Favourite colour:

I'm a big yellow fan! I'm such a dork I love buttercups and suflowers and daisies and sunshine. I'm sorry, I know that's kinda cringe but yellow is just so :D you know?

Currently reading:

So much fanfic lmao....

But non-fanfic wise I'm on and off reading this book called "Even More Opera Annecdotes" which I live for, it's all like snippets of opera world drama and moments - like Janet Baker sassing Pavarotti. It makes me so happy because even the great professionals are dumb nerds!

Last song:

Apparently Dolly Parton "Why'd you come in here looking like that."

But I'm my dream I was singing/there was playing "He is an English Man" from Gilbert and Sullivan HMS Pinafore.

Last Movie:

Man I had to think hard about this one... Genuinely I think it was this terrible animated film called "The Seventh Dwarf" ...I put it on to traumatise my house mates cause it looked awful ..and it was.

Last Serise:

Last watched its Louis Theroux Forbidden America.

Last finished it's Supernatural Academy (which I do sort of recommend even tho it's stupid it's quite charming - with great rep - and I greatly enjoyed it! The soundscaping is wack af tho cause covid lol)

Sweet, spicy or savoury:

It's gotta be sweet! Especially baked goods! Give me Krapfen and brioche all day everyday!

Coffee or tea:

TEA BABY! Like not to be a stereotype but tea is life, though it has to be non-cafinated versions/herbal because my heart doesn't take caffeine well.

Three ships:

DinLuke is of course my number one and light of my life!!!

Then it's for sure Geraskier! Who I also adore with all my heart.

And third hmm it's probably quite tied it's probably between James Bond/Q (00Q) and Catadora! (embarrassingly my first thought was me and my bf ew what a sap I am)

First ever ship:

This is going to make sense to none of you but Yoyo/Crocky from this Austrian TV show called 'Simsala Grimm' - when I was small I thought they were like married I'm ngl. They're the chaotic bubbly feral himbo and sensible awkward nerdy one (who is very Done TM with the other person's shenanigans) couple - I think that was fundamental to my concept of relationships.

Currently working on:

I'm working on the last two chapter of Heaven knows I've needed someone like you for so long and a REALLY DUMB one shot - both DinLuke ofc!

And also my ever growing drabble drafts!

Favourite piece of clothing:

Probably the show hoodie from the last opera I did at university - it was the first time I got a real lead (and it was a big role) and people believed in me and I realised that I am worth something and that I can become an opera singer - which is big because if been working my butt off to recover my singing from the damage done by my ED. So yeah that means a lot to me even if I don't wear it that much.

Comfort food:

SOUP AND OR GOULASH with sexy Austrian bread.

Favourite time of the year:

Ooooooo summer but the bit of summer where it's the evening and it's still warm and you're outside with your pack and the sun is setting but you know you'll still be out here for a while being silly and having deep convos.

Fave fanfic:

Now THIS is a hard one! I'm gonna cheat a bit cause there's three from different fandoms that spring to mind.

I'm gonna say DinLuke "oh the things we left behind" because it is beyond beautiful and id say it is my number one overall.

Also close is Saoghal Tinn (00Q) which grasped me and never let me go - even if you don't know/ship them I'd recommend it if you like well written and tense zombie apocalypse stuff with gays.

And one I keep going back to for serotonin is Animal Instinct (Geraskier) I adore soft feral Geralt and when he's sad Jaskier won't eat the rats he brought him lives rent free in my head.

Thank you to @thewriterowl and @feralsunspotandtincan for tagging me you cuties!!!

And here we have the tagging dilemma of the DinLuke dorks to double tag or not to double tag!

@veradragonjedi (double tagged bestie I'm sorry!) @mandobogwitch @mando-punk @kriffinjoy @mysticmjolnir ofc no pressure guys!! ❤️❤️

[utenthy]

ohhh my head. my head my head reading your phf posts ... they're so fucking good. i haven't read phf in a WHILE and it's one of my favourite pieces of jojo & i agree w you on how it's dubious canon status lets us pick and pull at it. i was wondering if you had any more thoughts on bruno or maybe even abbacchio in it ??? i'd love to hear<3

anon you are my angel my enabler of COURSE i have more thoughts on phf and i would love to share

i’m going to start with bruno. he definitely has More about him in phf than abbacchio does but a lot of it is just afterimpressions of him. there’s a lot of discussion about him as a figure post-mortem and not as much about his motivations and such while alive. he is very much revered within passione which yeah we all knew already from the series but one of the most interesting things is the bonus chapter where trish talks to his mother, and they both come to the conclusion that he was “an awful man.” i especially love trish’s assertion that maybe he tried his best but she still ended up abandoned. that is a really good throughline for bruno’s character. he gets wrapped up in being a savior, all bleeding heart and taking in strays, without giving any thought to what happens when he’s gone. he’s far too self-sacrificial to make any promises to these children you know. at the end of the day he COULDN’T take care of them, was exposing them to even more violence, but was absolutely stuck in this childlike confusion. i already talked a lot about how bruno weaponizes honesty to put him in power over them, too- he doesn’t consider boundaries all that important imo and he barrels right into these interactions with kids like You Are 13 And You Are Broken. But don’t worry! I will give you a purpose in life! i’d like to say bruno struggles with guilt over this but i don’t think he does. i think he is fully convinced that what he is doing is noble. fugo’s dream sequence also tells us a lot about buccellati, or at least fugo’s perception of bruno. he’s an idealist. a dreamer. the implication that they would all end up bound together in a team still in a world where bruno’s intervention could really and truly have changed their life for the better is really sad. if bruno’s father hadn’t died, he would not have to be in the gang. but he’d still try to be a savior. his moral failings towards his team-members in va are just ripple-effects of the way the world failed him. violence unto violence and so on. bruno could have been a good man, but ultimately he wasn’t, he couldn’t see his own wrongs. they were far too normalized for him. he thought involvement in drugs was the end-all be-all of the gang’s problems which really shows how he spent his youth growing completely numb to violent crime

phf has some reallly really interesting stuff irt abbacchio. i really like how fugo and abbacchio are closer partners in this story and it talks about how they would work together on assignments they thought bruno “couldn’t stomach”. all that i said just now about bruno’s dodgy moral code makes it feel ridiculous that i’d condemn him when fugo and abba are right here being FAR more immoral (fugo would much rather they just turn trish in, abbacchio has no problem with the drugs in passione) but at least the two of them never, ever claim to be very moral people. in fact, they have a lot in common in this respect, they both consider themselves to be BAD people. fundamental failures. i love love love the scene where fugo comes to see abbacchio in jail and abbacchio asks him how it is that he keeps on going when he’s a failure too, that he can “see the rot in (his) eyes”. ohhhhhhghghh. and when fugo explains he can keep going because of bruno, abbacchio begs to be given the same mercy. the both of them devote themselves to bruno. to them, he is a good man and a hero. for fugo, i think this goes insofar as he believes that bruno will lead him in the correct direction always, that he is wise and smart and kind and a hero to him. when he breaks that, when he clearly starts harming himself and putting everyone at risk, fugo bows out. abbacchio, however, does NOT do that. his devotion is of a different breed. it’s blind. fugo was still young, and despite everything he said, he had the ability to form more connections to life. he cared deeply for narancia. he wasn’t entirely hopeless, and bruno wasn’t all he had. he was able to make a name for himself in passione from his own successes. abbacchio didn’t, and couldn’t. all he had was bruno, his blind devotion. he did what bruno asked even if that meant sacrificing himself. he’d had the rot permeate him fully before he’d met bruno, and all that kept him afloat was this new cause to lay his life on the line for. abbacchio in the dream sequence is really interesting because he is so much kinder. i think all of their dream counterparts are kind of an idealistic world for fugo. it says fugo and abbacchio were never very close in the real world, despite working together so much. i think perhaps fugo really wanted him to be an adult he could trust, a success story of that similar rot in their eyes he could look up to. proof that redemption was viable! but that wasn’t how it really was. i think abbacchio stayed a slave to that rot up until his death. he was so willing to sacrifice himself because he thought redemption would never, ever be viable. all he could do was make his body into a weapon for a man he thought still had any chance at doing good.

[jadelotusflower]

Robin Hood Rewatch: 2x08 Get Carter!

This is actually one of my favourite episodes of the season, partly because I really enjoy relationship angst, but mostly because we get multiple characters dealing with their trauma/grief. If we can't get these guys and gals into therapy, at least we get to see them talk (and hug) it out.

Also the best episode title they're had for a while - I have no doubt one of the writers is a fan, and Carter is so named only because they wanted to make this reference. The assassin seeking revenge for a dead brother is wholesale lifted from the plot of the film, and Joseph Kennedy almost has a passing resemblance to Michael Caine's look in that role.

"Get Carter - before Carter gets you!"

Carter is one of the only guest stars they actually will bring back later, and for good reason.

"Why don't you ever kiss my ring?" Vaisey, always making things creepy.

Marian is simmering with unrestrained anger, eager to get into the fight, while Robin is the one advocating for the watch and see approach, and it’s quite the role reversal.

The gang's reaction to her charging off is quite funny though, she knocks John over completely and Djaq throws her hands in the air.

Robin’s now getting a taste of what the rest of the gang have to put up with dealing with his recklessness.

Tying Marian up in the middle of a melee, however, is disgusting behaviour - while Marian was hot-headed throwing herself into the fight (nothing Robin hasn't done before himself), he knows that she can hold her own with a sword and doesn't need protecting. Tying her hands is the absolute worst thing he could have done, because how is she meant to defend herself? I can somewhat understand where Robin is coming from in this episode (even if he goes about it badly), but this is unjustifiable.

Clearly she gave that guard she clanked on the head amnesia, because he never reports back that Marian was fighting with the gang.

“I owe you my life”/“I won’t take it just yet.” Nice.

Scimitar is still missing in action.

Robin doesn’t want Marian to be seen in case she needs to return to the castle, when he’s spent the whole season urging for her to join the gang. I think he realises he made a mistake asking her to flee last episode without giving her time to deal with her grief, and wants to leave her options open. But telling her that she’s not ready to make the decision (about whatever she wants to go back), however correct, is patronising.

There's a fundamental conflict that Marian wants to be treated like a member of the gang, but doesn't want to cede to Robin's authority like the rest of the gang - in turn Robin expects her to follow his orders like the others, but isn't treating her like he would the others either - he would never tie them up to keep them out of a fight, and Marian has every right to pissed at him about it.

Djaq and Much having a little tête-à-tête about Carter - I just really enjoy that they’re often paired together in these gang scenes, they balance/play off each other so well. Just this pure platonic frazzled vs calm vibe.

Much just has this really great memory for faces - he was able to recognise fake Richard last season just from his profile despite wearing a helmet, and now he knows he remembers Carter's face from somewhere (or as it will turn out, Carter's brother).

Much really just does not let up, and I love that about him. "You'll be disappointed though, with uh, today's wound. I mean if you're planning to go back to the Holy Land and, uh, kill him." That not so subtle probing for information and Sam Troughton's delivery is always perfect.

"Wasn't me, was it?" Oh Much, so close.

“The crusty one” - lol

It's not explicit, but implied that Vaisey and Guy believe Edward was the one passing information to Robin, and Marian is cleared of any suspicion (paving the way for her return). Guess Guy never showed the Sheriff that hair dagger after all.

Vaisey is actually giving Guy some really good advice here, albeit laced with his usual cruelty and getting all up in Guy's personal space.

"Grow up Gisborne" - now I don't think it's deliberate on Vaisey's part to invoke a Marian parlance, seeing as she really only says this to Robin (and once to Much), but it's a nice little callback, however unintentional.

Marian asks for an apology (and deserves one), but Robin doubles down and doesn't come out of this exchange well.

Because his delivery is terrible, but he's otherwise quite correct - as skilled as Marian is, she’s used to relying on (and having to worry about) only herself and not work in a team, and look to a single point of command. But both of them have their backs up - they're two strong personalities and neither is going to give ground, reverting to the ideological clashes of season 1, except now in much closer quarters.

Robin's also not used to being challenged in this particular way, and in his frustration is reacting like a captain disciplining a soldier, not a lover helping their partner through their grief. I do wonder if the conversation would have gone differently if they'd been alone.

lol at the gang awkwardly standing around listening to Robin and Marian fight. Djaq trying to busy herself with her mortar and pestle as Robin and Marian argue around her.

A really great scene between Marian and John aka the camp dad. Marian really just needs someone to listen to her and appreciate what she's going through - Robin is too fixated on the dangerous way she's channeling her grief and not even trying to address the root cause. He trying to tell her what to do, not listen to what she actually needs.

On the other hand it's probably better coming from John, a neutral party without the emotional baggage she has with Robin.

Because Robin and Marian are really being driven by completely different motives - Marian by grief and therefore loss, and Robin by trauma and therefore fear. In her sorrow, Marian has lost all her fear of being discovered, in fact she wants to make it know she's with the gang, to finally be free to say which side she's on and fight openly, to make her father's death worthwhile, and can't understand why Robin is trying to stifle that.

"I thought you used to have your own men Little John?" So someone remembers Forrest and Hanton!

After Carter takes down the gang one by one, Robin takes down Carter in three seconds (including catching the long dagger Carter throws at him, and flinging it back) and it's lights out. Can you believe it's the first concussion of the season? (Notwithstanding the multiple head injuries Allan sustained last episode).

While Marian has been known to be punch-happy, the "he'll tell us more if he knows we're willing to hurt him" is just so (intentionally) out of character - it is however somewhat reminiscent of Robin in 1x08, wanting to get his punch and torture on with Guy. However rather than understanding where Marian is coming from, he pushes her away with the "go and cook something" jibe. This almost feels like he was going for familiar banter and miscued, but is also an asshole thing to say. When their positions were reversed in 1x08 Marian at least tried to reason with him - Robin is seems to be ill-equipped to do the same.

Allan just having a little snooze against the castle wall. He really seems defeated and depressed after last episode.

Marian's corset has a pouch to hold a dagger - or at least I hope there is because otherwise it's ouch time.

Leaving Marian at the camp is again a mistake on Robin's part - it excludes and isolates her from the gang, rather than trying to involve her so she can bond with them, engaging in their outreach to the peasants - who she helped as the Nightwatchman, but never really had the opportunity to come to know. It would remind her that they are not just fighting against the Sheriff but for the people, which in her frenzied grief she has perhaps lost sight of.

Instead, Robin's focus is on Carter, who he rather identifies with and so finds it easier to address his motives, and try and change them.

Carter is in many ways Robin’s dark mirror, what he could have become in the Holy Land if he chose a different path. It’s important that this happens right when Robin is backsliding - he’s trying to save his own soul as much as Carter’s.

Okay, let's talk about Marian’s forest gear - fashioned from the outfit she wore when she fled the castle the previous episode - but dear me it's awful. The grey culottes, rather than becoming trousers have now been turned into that corset, and her vest/skirt overlay have now become those trousers. Just baffling.

“I’m good with nuns” followed by Allan straight up knocking the Mother Superior over and stealing her ring is iconic.

Much gives Robin a sword to use going after Carter - still no scimitar.

I really love the confrontation/fight scene between Robin and Carter - it's very well choreographed and written, but we also see the best of Robin's character (after seeing some of the worst earlier).

Carter's brother is called Thomas - Allan's brother was called Tom. Lots of dead brothers in this show (including Djaq's).

The story of Carter's brother Thomas dying because he "stopped listening" and led a raid against orders is a little on the nose, but gives context to Robin’s fear for Marian’s safety in part triggered by his war trauma - someone charging in against orders and then dying in his arms.

But it shows Robin as a man who, even when Thomas' recklessness had cost not only his own life but others of Robin's men, was still moved to instruct the stretcher-bearers to make Thomas the hero, and himself the negligent captain, in order to comfort his family.

The fight is fairly even, and although Robin gets the upper hand in the end, it's only partly his skill - rather his true strength is in reaching the man inside the assassin, and then surrender and allow Carter to take his revenge if that's what he wants, and despite his fear, trust that there is good still in him, and that he can leave behind the life as a killer as Robin has done (tried to do).

This scene is the core of why I really love Robin as a character. He's riddled with PTSD and a reckless bravado, he's at time emotionally stunted with those he loves, makes terrible mistakes and often says the wrong thing, but he also has this great heart and compassion that allows him to reach people, to understand and help them, even at the risk of his own life. He's trying.

"He was a hero - just not on that day" is quite a poignant line.

Much and Djaq together again, just saying.

Robin finally finds out that Roger of Stoke was intercepted. I had assumed he'd figured that out once he knew Allan was a traitor but okay.

Poor Much crying out for Robin's attention - he's got his own trauma from the war and wants to talk about it, to commiserate with Robin about what they went though, but Robin can only cope by not talking about it, not even thinking about it.

Much makes a good point that Robin should have listened to him about recognising Carter, but it comes across as jealously over Marian and Robin misses just how deeply Much carries his hurt.

One of Robin's biggest flaws is that he's overwhelming in his affection, compassion, and understanding for strangers, but takes those he loves for granted - Carter's response to grief was the same as Marian's, but Robin listened to Carter, consoled and comforted him, while keeping Marian at arm's length. Perhaps because strangers don't ask for anything beyond that - it is the granting of kindness, but not the sharing of self. It's the latter Robin truly fears, but what Much and Marian deserve (although tbf Marian has problems with this as well).

“Either I’m part of your gang or I’m not” is a valid point, and Robin's still not happy even when she agrees to stay behind!

But she disobeys him, and saves his life. It's a rite of passage - almost all of the members of the gang have this.

Allan looking rather distressed as Guy is about the chop off Robin's head, and he makes a small movement just before the swing (as does Much).

Guy again pushing Marian past the point of discomfort - she left, wrote him a letter asking him to leave her alone, straight up told him to his face to leave her alone, and still he persists.

Her kissing Guy (to distract him from seeing Much and Will) is really the only time she sends mixed signals, but Guy's whole energy seems to be just to wear her down until she agrees to be with him and it's gross. It is however kind of amusing that he tries to be authoritative and forbid her from leaving, and she immediately walks away.

Robin and Marian are back in playful banter mode, although I wish there had been a deeper discussion (and that Robin had apologised in return). It doesn't quite feel like the conflict between them has been resolved, it really is just a "truce".

But I do like that it's Marian who reaches out to Robin at the end of this episode, because up until this point it's Robin who has been (somewhat) the one making overtures - asking her to join the gang, telling her he needs her, telling her he loves her, while Marian's been more reserved. This feels like her acknowledging that sometimes she needs to take the first step.

This was a long one - but as a I said, I really love this episode!

[ghostmartyr]

What does the manga add to Roy and Riza's relationship that the anime doesn't have? Asking out of curiosity since I'm an anime only and they're still one of my favourite pairs of all time!

Oh, ha, I didn’t specifically point to the manga because I have anything in particular against Brotherhood (…or 2003 for that matter) it’s just not my canon, and I’m used to specifying which version of FMA I mean when I talk about the series. I do have a list of petty grievances against Brotherhood, but there is nothing fundamentally altered between Roy and Riza.

..

I mean. Yes. A number of my petty grievances are related to them. And feel slightly less petty as thought is spent on them.

But I would need to go back and watch the anime scenes again to point out the specifics of why.

[many hours later]

(As a note about this post, since I guess I did make the choice of tagging it, this is heavily critical about some specific moments in the Brotherhood anime, but before I get started I want to emphasize that my problems, with the exception of an example that spans a volume, don’t cover even two minutes of video. These things exist, and they bug me, and I clearly have things to say about them, but Brotherhood is 64 episodes long. My impassioned hatred of a few choice features isn’t indicative of my overall feelings on the anime.

Essentially, this is me having fun whining. Not trying to set off landmines. I hope it proves enjoyable.)

So there is this scene change in the first five minutes of episode 19 that has my eternal hatred and I have no plans to ever forgive. That has been true since it aired, and it is still true here today, because I am insufferably stubborn.

(I actually did a session about it before. I’m probably going to repeat most of it, but have a link if it interests you.)

That is not the dialogue the manga goes with.

In the manga, Riza’s interaction with Roy is focused on “what the fuck were you thinking why are you here.” Both versions have the scene with her berating Mustang for endangering the mission to save her.

In the anime, the above screencaps are what follow. After giving him a hard time for showing up at all, she thanks him for saving her life. Sweet, I guess, except Roy fires back with a mission-focused response.

If I were doing an anime-only meta thing, something could be said about the hypocrisy of Roy playing hero only to lecture other people about concentrating on the mission, and it would just be another cute thing. I guess. If I were in a charitable mood maybe.

But this is the first anime adaptation I sat through properly, angsting about every twist and turn and change.

My grudges. They last.

In the manga, Mustang brings up the slightly more personal aspects of what has happened. The reason he runs after Hawkeye is that he just lost Hughes, he won’t lose her, and he loses his head entirely. They have the yelling session over it, and he basically yells back the equivalent of, “yeah yeah fine -sulk sulk sulk-”

They leave Fuery and Hayate behind, and we have the presented moment.

Going to assist Riza is not the Proper choice for the military operation they’re running. It was a dangerous thing for Roy to have done, and she rightfully calls him on it. But he does it because he cares, and the fact that he cares is why all these people follow him. He’s a hopeless, idealistic dreamer at heart. His squad is loyal to him because he’s loyal to them.

Roy Mustang is a damn softy.

In the anime, Riza’s the one to call attention back to the whole life-saving motive. In the manga, it’s Roy.

In the anime, when it comes up, Roy dismisses it.

In the manga, when it comes up, Riza apologizes for worrying him.

It’s a small moment, but small moments are allowed to matter, and when small moments are changed, it leaves a bigger impact than if they were just left alone.

In the anime, this exchange, plus Hawkeye’s smile after, suggests that the sentimentality of the relationship comes primarily from her. Riza’s the one having her heart warmed when they have a job to do.

…That’s a slightly meaner way to put it than the scene perhaps deserves, but there is no unfair bitterness like unfair bitterness towards Brotherhood for me. Whining about this adaptation is a thing I do, despite honestly loving the majority.

Anyway, in the manga, the scene is both of them putting legwork into their dynamic. Hawkeye yells at Mustang for showing up out of sentiment, but when he expresses that sentiment in the aftermath, she expresses understanding of his perspective. He did a stupid thing, but they’re a team, and both at ease with their interplay.

In the anime, stop talking Hawkeye, don’t you know we have a job.

The manga is a conversation, the anime is putting a wall up to prevent that conversation. Especially annoying is that the character putting the wall up is the one who initiates the conversation in the manga. The anime drags Mustang back from his emotional openness and pushes Hawkeye to be more so, then provides a dismissal of her acting that way.

Besides being an inverse plus a step back for their relationship, it. also just feels kind of sexist. Instead of the man talking about feelings, the woman is. When the man talks about his feelings, it’s greeted with understanding and respect, when the woman talks about her feelings, it’s greeted with the instruction to put it somewhere else.

The fact that they changed it bothers me, because the way it is in the manga is great. It’s one of many small moments Roy and Riza have where they are shown to respect and care for each other.

The anime version doesn’t add anything, and lessens the mutuality of that bond.

I snarl in its general direction.

The other change that springs to mind is of a similar cloth.

Mustang and Hawkeye encounter the Elrics before they’re aware of Hughes’ death, and Mustang makes up a story about Hughes retiring in the country with his family so that they won’t go looking for him.

Hawkeye greets this with the face of judgment. “Why are you treating him like a child all of a sudden?” He’s never shied from giving Ed adult responsibilities before. This is a blatant lie. Roy says they don’t need any further obstacles to their journey.

A few moments pass. In silence, in the manga. In the anime, Riza points out that they’re going to find out someday. Then…

“…Who am I trying to kid?”

(Funimation, the heck is with some of your translation choices. Did you just keep the simulcast version for the official DVD subs?)

So there are a few things. The most obvious difference is the dialogue changes. Hawkeye is more insistent about how the Elrics will find out at some point, then after Mustang makes his character commentary, she calls it cruel instead of sighing and moving on to the next topic.

The other most obvious change is that Mustang smiles after calling himself soft in the anime.

These all sort of play together.

In the manga, Hawkeye is just as judgmental as she is in the anime, but she allows Mustang the space to dwell on his choices for himself. She asks him one question about how he’s treating Edward, then they walk in silence, her disapproval creating a tangible aura.

It isn’t simply Hawkeye judging him. He’s judging himself. In the anime it comes off as a, “tee-hee, what a silly softhearted boi I am.” So in the anime, she vocally objects to what he’s doing.

In the manga, Mustang takes in his inability to break the news to the Elrics as the emotional flaw that it is, and Hawkeye lets him off the hook. He doesn’t need a lecture; he knows his shortcomings. It’s not great, but he’s the kind of person who doesn’t want to tell Ed and Al that Hughes is dead because Hughes tried to help them.

Again, Mustang’s softness is part of what endears him to his crew. It is not always a good trait. Sometimes, as in this case, it’s actively causing problems. But it is who he is.

Riza knows this, and she can let this failure pass with a sigh because Roy knows it too. The anime version has a smile when it’s nothing to smile over. The manga version is more, “hahaha… fuck.”

Roy and Riza know each other and themselves extraordinarily well. They might have the boundaries of superior and subordinate, but they are comfortable enough in their understanding of each other that they are allowed to be themselves. It’s the conversation thing. There is an undercurrent of figurative dialogue to their relationship that never stops.

When they do call each other out in the manga, it does not keep the conversation from flowing. It continues it. Both of the above changes take it to a stuttering halt in their scenes.

Then we have episode 30.

After which, I do not have memories specific enough to shout about things or know if there are things to shout about, but episode 30.

-screams forever and ever and ever-

-intersperses screams with tears of anguish-

From what I know of being an FMA fan, it is difficult to be an FMA fan without being passingly familiar with the debates of which version is better. Usually it’s Brotherhood vs. 2003. My personal, obviously right opinion, is that this is the wrong way to do it, and it should be manga vs. 2003, because really it’s an argument over which plot is better, and Brotherhood’s plot is the property of the manga.

I also think it’s impossible to really debate. The two series have different feels and themes. They are both extremely well done, meaning that which one you prefer comes down to personal preference.

I’m pretty sure people who bother to have those discussions could say a lot more on the topic, but that’s my general, broad stroke, very glossed-over perspective on it all.

I mention this because I think anyone who loves FMA should read volume fifteen of the manga. If you’re not a manga person, you don’t want to read 27 volumes of manga, yeah, understandable. You have your version of the story, enjoy it, you shouldn’t feel the need to read the original if you don’t want to. The idea that you have to pour every bit of content into your brain to be a good fan is pretty unhealthy.

But I recommend volume 15 regardless, because the anime does not come close to presenting its content. It is four chapters devoted to the Ishvalan War. Outside the framing device (Ed going to return Hawkeye’s gun and asking about what went down), the entire volume basically stands on its own.

It is a harrowing, intimate depiction of the genocide campaign. That is the focus of the entire volume.

Scar’s backstory is moved to an earlier section in the anime, and Mustang burning Hawkeye’s back is moved to the Envy fight, so this might be an unfair barb to throw, but I still want to say it. The anime covers this volume in one episode.

-goes back to screaming-

(Honestly though, some of the best fun I ever had in fandom came from being on a forum full of manga fans and all of us yelling our despair over Brotherhood’s choices. You would never believe that this anime was considered the gold standard of anything.)

But we’re here for Roy and Riza!

There’s only one thing that sincerely bothers me to pain of the irritation of the above. Most of my sulking is just why did they do this to my favorite volume. Mustang and Hawkeye’s stuff is mostly intact. Except when it isn’t.

Chronologically, the first complaint is that when Riza’s father collapses (dies), Mustang is alone with him. In the manga, the scene ends with a shot of Riza, watching, terrified, from the doorway.

Also known as the scene where Roy calls Riza by her first name.

-still screaming-

The cemetery scene is truncated. The anime jumps right into Roy and Riza discussing Roy becoming a soldier. The manga starts the scene out with the focus on funeral things. Roy asks if Riza has other family, and what she plans to do now.

After that, he offers her his number, and they get to talking about the military and Roy’s dream.

They also cut this.

In the anime, Roy discusses his military life through the lens of Master Hawkeye’s opinion on it, asking if Riza is going to disapprove as well. Roy starts talking because he assumes that’s how she feels about it, and preemptively defends his perspective.

In the original, when Roy hands Riza his information, she asks, “For the rest of your life…?” It’s followed by the above panel.

Roy’s monologue about his aspirations and his dream for what he can do as a member of the military happens because Riza asks. Not directly, but her addition to the conversation prompts him to talk about his views, and he mentions that those views are why he studied alchemy. In other words, why he’s standing in front of a grave, awkwardly trying to talk to his dead master’s daughter.

Following that, the original pays more attention to the lead-up of Riza entrusting Roy with her father’s research. In the anime, she jumps straight from the ideals topic to asking if she can trust him with it.

In the manga, there’s that beat of contemplation after Roy brings up alchemy, and how his master didn’t teach him everything.

Riza tells him that his dream sounds wonderful.

Another beat.

That’s when she tells him that her father did leave his alchemical secrets behind. Words about this are exchanged for a small number of panels.

In the anime, she asks Roy if she can entrust her father’s work (dream, values) to him. Directly after the dream dialogue.

In the manga, when Roy tries to bring their discussion back to Riza’s father, and what he did with his research, Riza redirects him. It isn’t about her father. It’s about her, and by consequence, Roy, and how Roy’s dream inspires her.

“That dream… Can I entrust you with my back so that I can help make it come true?”

The anime severely underplays the significance of Riza offering her father’s research to Roy. They address it a little once Envy is being dealt with, but in the manga, all of the discussion of Riza watching Roy’s back is drawn from how Riza’s back is what’s given Roy the power to rise as far as he has.

It goes from maintextual subtext to subtextual subtext.

Also, the cuts to their conversation just plain means that there’s less of Roy and Riza interacting. The two of them are very, very young, standing in front of a grave and talking about ideals. The longer manga version allows the quality of their youthful awkwardness to truly shine.

The scene is dropped in the middle of the volume, whereas in the anime, it opens the Ishvalan flashback. There’s much to be examined about how that affects the emotional impact, but… geez that gets to be a lot of threads. Trying to go through all of the ways they crammed a whole volume into one episode is just going to make me dizzy.

Even if the theoretical focus of this post weren’t shipping, I’m not sure my brain would be up for that. There’s just so much going on, and the time allotted means it’s a Frankenstein job.

The one major difference for Roy and Riza, which I can’t believe they went with, and can’t believe my sad feelings every time I watch the episode and confirm yeah, they really went that way with it.

Why why why why why why why why must you hurt me this way.

SO!

THE ANIME VERSION!

OF ROY AND RIZA MEETING IN ISHVAL!

Riza walks up and says hi after noticing them because Hughes is babbling about his future wife.

Yay.

The manga version does not. does not do that.

It.

That’s not how it goes.

At all.

In the manga, Roy and Hughes run into each other on their break and start chilling together. Hughes gets a letter, does his excited babbling, Roy tells him to stop being a stereotypical red shirt, when suddenly

Oh noes.

Roy and Hughes react as fast as they can, which might or might not end up fast enough, when a bullet goes through the Ishvalan’s brain.

There’s quiet for a moment, then Roy gets behind cover because oh no gunshot, and Hughes tells him to chill, it’s all good.

“We have the ‘hawk’s eye’ on our side. […] A real ace sharpshooter… who’s causing quite a stir in my circle of friends. She’s still in the academy but because she’s so skilled… they brought her to the front.”

Guess who.

Hughes and Roy, being the good people they are, go back to camp to thank the sniper for saving them. Hughes is his cheery self. Roy is not noticeably perturbed.

Then the sniper drops her hood and stands up.

You could say I prefer the manga version. It has Riza being a badass, and adds to the shock they both have of seeing each other here.

Riza gets her own little horrified section of panels all about it.

She was just helping out two soldiers. She didn’t realize until after she fired that one of them was Roy, and that he’s in this hell too.

The other thing that I enjoy about this particular sequence of panels is that in the manga, they come up a bit earlier. Throughout the manga, Ishval flashback panels are everywhere. As this scene is initially presented (Hawkeye looking at Mustang through her scope), many chapters earlier, it looks like maybe they’re on opposite sides.

Or maybe it’s just me who thinks that’s a thing.

In any case, it adds some serious drama to their reunion. In the anime, the drama is entirely that they are both here in this awful war. In the manga, a Mysterious Sniper saves Roy’s life and turns out to be his master’s daughter.

It’s just cooler, okay?

Their conversation when Riza becomes Roy’s aide is also truncated. Riza says her specialty is guns, because death doesn’t linger when you use them. Roy tells her, with what I feel is sympathy, that’s just a deception to make the work easier. She agrees, but because she’s decided that work is necessary, there we go.

…

I thought that would be my last thing, but now that I have volume fifteen open, I can’t help but go to the scene during the Envy stuff. I won’t touch the main scenes of that, though I’m sure there are changes, because this is already too long and I’ve officially gone through the things that personally affect my view of the anime, which… was, at some point, maybe, the point of the ask. ^^;

Basically, I will never stop if I go through everything, but in case it isn’t obvious, I really love the fifteenth volume, so to Envy we go.

Huh. They really didn’t alter much. The core’s all there. Because of the placement, Mustang gets docked a few lines, and he is rewarded one of Riza’s (about making the tattoo as illegible as possible) in return, but it’s basically the same, with the addition of Riza thanking him.

I have no particular feelings on that. The ending of the scene is different because it’s not intended to go with the rest of the Ishvalan War, and… I guess  I could manufacture some dislike over Riza expressing gratitude instead of the pure stubbornness the manga has. It distracts a little from why she’s asking those secrets to be burned off. They’re in a hell of their own creation. The soft thanks blurs the cutting edge.

Which isn’t to say I can’t have other problems with it.

As a manga reader who enjoyed Brotherhood as it was coming out, as well as someone who is writing this mostly from memory and going over only specific scenes, I have no way to ascertain how clear it is to anime fans what happens with Riza’s back and when. In the manga, it is excruciatingly clear that her father puts his research on her back, that is how Roy comes to have Flame Alchemy, and that is what Riza asks him to burn off.

Since that’s all in volume fifteen, the next twelve volumes are read with the understanding that before Riza is instructed to watch Roy’s back in case he falls, she offers him her back, and brings the ruin of Flame Alchemy to Ishval.

That history defines them. Their own choices plant them in that war, but Roy uses the alchemy she gives him out of hope for a better world to commit genocide. It’s a horrific weight on both of them, and his decision to have Riza, of all people, watch his back after the war?

Dude, it is such an amazing ship detail. Riza entrusts her back to Roy. He, in turn, entrusts his to her.

I get why it’s moved. Sort of. Given that volume fifteen is given one episode, I get why it’s moved. It’s most heavily relevant to Roy’s rampage against Envy.

However, I don’t think the power of knowing the depths of their connection earlier on can be understated. Roy and Riza’s devotion and synergy comes from watching their shared idealism burn the people they wanted to protect to a crisp, and their commitment to never letting that happen again. They create a hell through their good intentions. Having done that, they do not abandon their good intentions. They refine them and continue forward.

That is what binds them together. They rise from the ashes of their flames.

I do not, for the most part, think Brotherhood does them a major disservice. My gripes are pretty much all listed above, and my praises are endless.

But if you really love Roy and Riza, I’d seriously recommend reading the manga at some point, because there’s stuff the anime doesn’t bother with. AKA, yes, there is even more royai to be uncovered, don’t you want to seeeeee? :D :D

This kind of obviously grew past what you were initially asking, but I hope it serves a satisfactory answer regardless! Thanks for the opportunity to spam my love for these two!

…Through spamming my hate of stuff, but we’re ignoring that.