#i know everyone became elvis fans because of the movie but i am here because my brain simply said “hey. elvis presley?” and i said

[parchmentknight]

guys im losing my mind over elvis presley foaming at the mouth good lord look at him... hes been dead for like 50 years ...... dear god elvis freaking presley

[s1k0zu]

Hey everyone,

While I was a bit (okay a lot) late to board the Austin train, once I did, I fell HARD. Before I saw him in Dune II, I knew about him, but never thought to take a second look.

Then I saw Dune and I still can't get Austin's performance out of my head. He was amazing! 😍

I've devoured everything I can find with him since then, and I've been reading a lot of fan fiction lately, and a scene has been playing on repeat in my mind, so I decided to write it down.

I love all the Feyd fics but I find myself wanting more of Austin and less of Feyd (he's just a bit too intense and I kinda miss the hair). So I came up with the idea below.

Let me know if you liked it and if you want me to try writing about something else. 🫣

Fair warning ⚠️ I've never written any fiction before, so this will probably be a mess...and it's maybe a bit too long.

🔞 It's pure smut, so minors stay away!

Under his skin

You and Austin have been together since before his Elvis movie.

You'd met when you were teenagers and became fast friends, but until you had to spend two weeks locked together in his apartment in Australia, because of the pandemic, that was all you were - friends.

You'd visited him for the weekend and then the lockdown forced you to stay.

The tension between the two of you had started escalating gradually, until one night he couldn't resist kissing you any longer. All it took was that one kiss and you were his forever.

You started getting jobs in the crew of all of his projects so you could stay together, which is why you're now in Budapest on the set of Dune II.

It's early morning and it's already as hot as hell. Add to that the giant sound box you've been setting up, so Austin can film his fight scenes in it later, and you're close to fainting.

You haven't seen Austin in two months, because he was busy training in L.A. and you were on location in Jordan with the rest of the cast.

You flew in with the night flight, dropped your bags at his place and went straight to set. He was already there, getting into costume, and you didn't have the time to see him.

Once you're done setting up and finally have some free time you head to his trailer to surprise him and wish him luck.

You open the door and cool air hits your face. Then you see him and you're sure the chill running down your body isn't from the AC.

He's gloriously naked, a black loincloth is all that covers his body. They've painted his torso with black lines and he's got his bald cap already in place. You've seen him in full costume before, but only in photos. This hits differently.

There's something feral and imposing about him and it's doing things to you. Gone is the sweet, gentle Austin you know and in his place is a man who exudes power and dominance.

His body is pure perfection and you know how hard he worked to get here.

"Hey, Earth to y/n. Are you ok?" Austin's voice comes through the fog.

"Yeah", you sigh, "It's just..."

"What?", he asks, a sly smirk forming on his lips.

"Let's just say if you weren't about to shoot, I'd be ruining your makeup right now", you say, raking your gaze over his gorgeous naked body.

"Fuck", he mutters and steps toward you, biting his lower lip, his eyes darkening with want.

"Ah, ah", you stop him, placing a hand on his chest, "makeup."

"Damn you woman! How am I supposed to focus now?", he asks brushing a stray hair behind your ear.

"Hey, I'm not the one wearing next to nothing here," you tell him, "and you're not the only one having a hard time focusing."

You brush your lips against his and his hands instantly grip your face as he deepens the kiss. All the frustration of not being able to touch each other for the past two months melts as your tongues dance frantically, fighting for dominance.

"I'll make you a deal," you say, panting, "you go slay them with your talent and we can come back here during the lunch break, to finish this."

"Deal", he says huskily in your ear, melting you with his beautiful voice.

A crew member comes in to call him to set and breaks the tension before you two can go any further.

You watch him perform, always in awe of his ability to switch between himself and the character in seconds. You busy yourself with work and bringing him water bottles and towels between takes, and just like that the hours go by and it's time for lunch.

"I can't wait to take this thing off my head. I'm sweating like a pig," Austin says, taking a towel from your hands. He's been doing fighting scenes for the past hour and he's in full combat get up.

"I'll stick around to help with the set. Text me when you're done and we can take a shower," you say, walking your fingers playfully up his chest. You lean up to give him a quick kiss but he grabs your waist to keep you there, turning it into a steamy makeout session.

"I've missed you so much," Austin breathes out, his forehead touching yours.

"I've missed you too," you say, tilting his head lower to kiss his nose.

You disengage and he heads to his trailer so the makeup team can remove his bold cap.

A while later you get a text from Austin:

R u coming? We had a deal remember?

You mutter an excuse and head towards his trailer, willing yourself not to run.

#

When you enter, you see him running a hand through his wet hair, the bald cap gone. He still hasn't removed his costume.

"Want some help with that my lord", you ask, starting to unzip the back of his wetsuit.

When he hears you call him that Austin feels a shiver run down his body. He turns and wraps his arms around you.

"Say that again," he growls.

His eyes are dark with desire and you swear you can see Feyd still lurking in the background, ready to pounce.

"You should play the bad guy more often. It's a good look on you...my lord."

"Yeah? Wanna show me just how much you like it?"

You grip his neck, fingers tangled in his hair, and kiss him long and hard, your tongues fighting for dominance. You bite his lip when he pulls away and the groan that escapes from his throat sets your whole body on fire.

He returns the favour by placing kisses on your jaw and down your neck. When he reaches your collarbone he gives it a bite in just the right spot, making heat pool between your legs.

You lean into him, feeling his erection against you and bite his earlobe, whispering into his ear: "I want you inside me."

Austin's hands tighten on your ass and he gives you a smouldering look. His blue eyes are dark with desire as he dives in to kiss you again.

You start undressing each other frantically, hands running all over, tongues locked in a dizzying dance. The room fills with the sounds of heavy breathing, your moans, Austin's groans and wet kisses.

He grabs you by the hand and pulls you into the shower.

You're both panting while he turns around to fidget with the water tap. You admire his naked body while he adjusts the temperature. He's a work of art - all lean muscle chiselled to perfection.

Your eyes travel down his chest to the trail of hair under his belly button and between his thighs and the sizeable erection he's got. His penis is perfect: a round red tip, its length marbled by veins. You can't wait to taste it and feel it inside you.

You can't believe he's yours.

"My eyes are up here, gorgeous", Austin's amused voice brings you out of your dazed wet dream.

"And what a sight they are," you smile up at him.

After seeing you standing gloriously naked before him, raking your lust-filled stare over his body, Austin can't hold himself back any longer.

His hands come up to grab your face and he bends down to devour you. As the kiss deepens, Austin's hands travel down your body, lingering on your breasts. He pinches one of your nipples and you moan into his mouth.

He breaks the kiss to look at you.

Before you can answer he bends down and licks your neck, slowly descending to your left nipple.

"Fuck you're gorgeous. I can't wait to be inside you."

You start kissing his neck, his chest, his abs, your hands trailing down to his hips. His skin tastes salty from the sweat. You kneel in front of him and lick his length slowly, feeling the veins with your tongue. He lets out a groan and braces himself against the tiled wall.

You place tiny nibbles on the head, squeezing his balls, teasing him. He shudders in ecstasy as you swallow as much of his length as you can and start moving your head up and down slowly.

"Fuck, y/n, you have to stop or I'll come...," Austin pants on top of you. You speed up your pace, locking eyes with him.

Seeing you kneeling before him, your mouth on him, looking at him like that drives him over the edge. Austin comes with a groan and you feel his seed spill into your throat. You take him out of your mouth and give the head a little kiss.

"You taste so fucking good every time," you say standing up.

Austin grabs your cheeks and gives you a rough kiss.

"You have no idea how hot you look on your knees, do you?"

When one of his hands sneaks between your legs and he rubs his fingers on your clit you feel a jolt run over your whole body and you can't stop the moan coming out of your mouth.

Austin hears you moan, hands digging into his back and throws caution away - he bites down hard on your nipple, sliding his fingers into you.

"Fuck Austin", is all you can say, your mind going blank with pleasure. You don't know what's gotten into him, but you love this new, dangerous and dominant side he's showing you.

Austin places wet kisses and nibbles all over your breasts and stomach, pumping his fingers into you. You writhe in his arms, hands tugging his hair.

When his mouth descends on your clit you moan loudly. He bites it and then licks the sore spot, curling his fingers inside you. This sends jolts of electricity all over your body and you feel yourself coming, nails digging into his hair.

"Tell me what you want me to do to you," he says, voice hoarse from lust. You can feel his hard length pressing against your entrance.

Austin groans in pleasure when he hears you moan his name, the pain from your nails digging into his scalp sending bolts of pleasure straight to his groin.

He gets up, grabs your hips and lifts you, your back against the tiled wall.

You look at his soft, puffy lips and can't help kissing him again. Austin groans and slips his tongue into your mouth, making you dizzy.

When he finally breaks the kiss to look at you, you see the passion burning in his eyes, but there's something else there too - something feral. You realise he hasn't shaken Feyd off completely.

That sparks something in you, emboldens you.

"Have your way with me, my lord na-Baron. I'm all yours", you say, threading your fingers through his hair and pulling on it, your hips bucking into him.

Hearing you say that, something in Austin snaps. He can't think anymore, all he knows is that he wants to be inside you, now.

With a quiet growl he bends down to crash his lips into yours, sliding into you in one swift move.

You can't help the cry that comes out of your mouth when he slams into you. You were already wet, but he's big.

The sharp pain quickly turns into intense pleasure as he starts thrusting into you with abandon. You can feel every vein on his hard length as he's stretching you and filling you in the best way.

You've been together for years and every time he enters you feels like the first time. It's like your bodies are pieces of the same puzzle. The feel of him inside you is divine.

Austin doesn't wait for you to adjust to his size, he couldn't even if he wanted to. He's possessed by the desire to be inside you, to own you. He picks up his pace, slamming into you, his teeth leaving red marks all over your neck and shoulders. His left hand is moulded to your thigh, his right squeezing your breast.

You've never seen him like this, so forceful and primal, and you realise you love it. As the pain shoots through the pleasure you find yourself coming, trying not to scream. You mould your lips to Austin's to stifle your moans and that just spurs him on. He continues to slam into you, balls-deep, throughout your climax.

After a while, Austin comes to his senses and realises he's too rough, he's hurting you. Just as he slows down his pace, releasing you from his grip, he hears you say:

"No, don't hold back. I want you to lose control. Ravage me."

He looks into your eyes, making sure he didn't just imagine that, and sees only carnal desire and love there. He can't believe you're his.

"Fuck, I love you," he whispers.

You smile and bite his neck hard. The little control he'd managed to take back shatters. Austin slips out of you so he can turn you around, your back towards him, and slams back into you.

One of his hands travels to your neck and squeezes, the other goes to your nipple.

This angle helps him sink even deeper inside you. The sensation is almost too much and you feel the waves of another orgasm coming. Sex with Austin is always great but this is different. He's lost all control and given in to his desire, and you fucking love it.

Austin feels your walls clenching around him and he knows you're close. The hand around your throat tightens as he moves his other hand from your breast to your clit, running his fingers in agonisingly slow circles, and right before you come he inserts two fingers in.

The feeling of his fingers and his hard length inside you is too much and you trip over the edge, your whole body shaking. You claw at his neck and bury your fingers into his hair as he swallows your moans with a kiss when you both come.

You've never seen this side of him before. He's always so protective of you, so gentle. You realise he's been holding himself back, afraid to lose control and hurt you.

He looks at you apprehensively and you smile at him, tugging him close so you can wrap your hands around his neck and give him a slow, tender kiss.

For a while the only sounds in the shower are the running water and your heavy breathing as you're both coming down from your highs.

Eventually, Austin lets you go and eases out of you with a groan. Your legs are shaking as you lean onto the tile wall while he turns around to adjust the showerhead.

He melts into you, relieved you're okay.

You disengage and proceed with your shower, washing each other's hair and bodies, placing soft kisses here and there.

When you're done, Austin stops the water. He swaddles you in a huge fluffy towel, picks you up and carries you to the bed.

He lies next to you on his side, head propped up, facing you, tiny droplets of water running down his face and torso.

"I'm sorry", he says quietly, giving you a sad puppy look and caressing your face.

"For what? Giving me multiple orgasms?"

"No..." he laughs and then falls silent.

"I hurt you. I don't know what came over me."

"Not what, who. You've still got some of Feyd lurking in the background," you say a soft smile playing on your lips.

"That's not an excuse y/n. I should've stopped...I should've..." he trails off, looking remorseful.

"I don't know if you noticed Butler but I liked it. A lot", you lift his head so he can look at you.

"I'm not made of china you know. Promise me you'll stop holding back on me. This was fucking amazing."

"Yeah it was, wasn't it," he says, finally relaxing, "Okay, but on one condition: you promise to tell me if I cross the line."

"Deal," you say and mould your lips over his.

[carmenxjulia]

I put together a transcript of the 2 hour Q&A Interview the Carmen Sandiego Discord did with Showrunner Duane Capizzi. All of the questions were submitted by server members. You can read everything below the break!

Duane Capizzi:

Hi there!

Am I in? Is this thing on?

PizzaHorse:

Hi, welcome!

Yep, you're in the right place!

Duane Capizzi:

Sorry I'm late, I was wandering around some empty Discord hallways looking for the right room haha

PizzaHorse:

No worries. Let's get started!

Who is your favorite character?

Duane Capizzi:

Moose Boy!

KIDDING!

Alright, how to NOT get myself in trouble if my answer isn't "Carmen" haha.

But really, they are ALL my babies.

So I know it's going to sound like a cop out to some that I can't pick just one. But hmm, some for instances...

I love that she's so morally evolved at such a young age; her ability to always take the high road and never lower herself; her drive and conviction and dedication. Her ability to kick serious booty and look good while doing it. Her progressive values, her fashion sense. I could go on and on. But then there's Shadowsan and his arc; Chase and his. Julia, who's every bit as strong as Carmen but shows it in different ways. The Cleaners don't get enough love.

I'll close that question with an anecdote about The Cleaners ...

I love that all our characters are embraced and that everyone seems to have favorites. Our sound engineer Marcel is a pretty serious guy: he has a serious job that takes high levels of focus and attention. He's always deeply focused and not prone to small talk. Anyway, we were in the middle of our first or second sound mix, and he suddenly stops in the middle and turns around to face us. I'm thinking, "uh oh, we're giving too many notes." That's when I notice he's freeze framed the Cleaners. He says "I really like these guys." Then he turns around, hits play and gets back to work.

PizzaHorse:

What was the biggest challenge for coming up with new stories and plot for the reboot?

Duane Capizzi:

THE biggest? Sigh. I'm not sure I could come up with just one. Plotting is always challenging and we had the brain trust of the room, our trusty white board, and writer assistant to keep the threads of the ongoing storyline together. I think the single biggest ONGOING challenge was tracking which character knew what at any given time.

The caper part was challenging - coming up with new capers and keeping them interesting and fresh. But, it was the characters and their interactions that kept things fresh and interesting. Another museum heist? That's okay - Chase is on the case and he gets to interact with "X" this time (for instance).

There were also some episodes - Duke of Vermeer and Crackle Goes Kiwi come to mind - where there was SO MUCH SET UP needed to get the payoffs to work. I was really worried about too much talk/too much detail. Very "Swiss watch!" It took a lot of work to make sure it all clicked and was clear - hopefully it seems effortless on screen but I can't say there wasn't some sweat and the occasional tear (mostly from me - I'm a big cry baby

But really, what made it fun was that we had so many buckets to draw from: sometimes a story germ initially began with a character idea; sometimes it was inspired by global location; sometimes it was a clever way to update or reimagine an idea from old Carmen lore. Usually, it was some combination of all of the above!

PizzaHorse:

What was your favorite scene to write?

Duane Capizzi:

I think we have a theme here! "How can I pick just one ...?"

As a film buff, I got to indulge in some serious fan nerdery on this show: I got to write spy movies, yakuza movies, spaghetti neo-westerns (though turning it on its head: spaghetti westerns usually involve REVENGE and because of Carmen's character make up, this was sort of anti-revenge).

Is writing coming up with the idea or typing it? Haha. An "if a tree falls in the forest" question. The writing team and I had so many cathartic "that's how it goes" in the room. But on my own, writing the Pilot, was a very inspiring time for me: I remember laughing out loud the moment I thought of Chase falling on his own car (in part because of doing my spin on "that trope" that we've seen in so many hard boiled movies recently). But also how emotional I got when I imagined the simple but potent image of Black Sheep deciding to take her destiny into her own hands and walk that long corridor to the Faculty who we were about to meet for the first time.

I think I've cited this in another interview, but there was a period where I was completely immersed in Chase's arc and the scene where he would crack the location of VILE island ... by listening to Julia in a dream ... was a big one for me. It revealed he was finally open to admitting he needed Julia more than he would ever admit - yet, it was his own subconscious speaking.

The next morning, after cracking that scene, I bumped into Raf Petardi (voice of Chase) ... at the supermarket! It was very strange and hilarious

PizzaHorse:

Did you scrap any lengthy or funny scenes that you would be able to share?

Duane Capizzi:

With few exceptions, most scene cuts are done at the script stage so that the story board team doesn't waste effort over boarding. A variety of trims to any script are common, but they are usually for the better

The easier question to answer might be scenes were part of our "wish list" at writer room stage, but never made it to story or script. I hesitate to go too deep here (in the event that we might ever do more Carmen episodes in this canon - I'm not giving up hope). And there were cases where things we wanted to do earlier in the series wound up getting nixed or not fitting for whatever reason, but we got them in later - USUALLY FOR THE BETTER. So there's sort of a reverse Murphy's Law/rule of good fortune somehow in these things. But some fun things that didn't make it into the show, that leap to mind were: a Bollywood dance sequence (!). A Vegas caper involving Brunt wanting to steal an Elvis jumpsuit against the backdrop of an Elvis impersonator convention. We also thought it would be neat to get Maelstrom imprisoned so that Julia could interrogate him and he would play mind games with her - very Lector/Clarice!

PizzaHorse:

Were there any different treatments of Carmen you pitched before settling on the one we ended up with?

Duane Capizzi:

I was one of several "pitches" that I'm sure HMH heard before running with my version. But I can honestly say I've never pitched anything as fully formed: the take on Carmen felt so right to me, and clearly HMH and by extension Netflix agreed

I'll answer your question with an anecdote: I had the entire Pilot pretty well worked out, and pitched it in the first meeting. But one key thing that changed (much for the better!), simply because it wouldn't have fit without slogging things down ...

In my Pilot pitch, Black Sheep's escape on the boat was off screen: we see Shadowsan corner her, then we cut away. The rest of the Faculty show up to find SS's broken sword on the rocks, and are led to believe BS killed him (!). In the present, Crackle points his weapon at Carmen and prepares to pull the trigger. We know that Chase is on the way and may rescue her. The compartment door opens to reveal - not Chase - but Shadowsan! Big surprise! Then we cut back to BS's escape and find out what really transpired etc etc.

Crazy, right? SS would have been hanging out with the gang in season 1; we might not have gotten to 203 with his back story, since his sword was broken and he couldn't return it. Just one of those magical things where "things work out" the way they are supposed to. THAT SAID, it made for a heckuva pitch

PizzaHorse:

Are there any characters that ended up taking a direction you didn't initially anticipate?

Duane Capizzi:

GRAY.

I didn't know we'd make him amnesiac when I wrote the Pilot, that was something we came up with in our first week Writer Room.

And even then, when it became clear he'd be a key piece of the bigger puzzle, we didn't know how exactly (mostly the Season 4 stuff).

We did get very deep with a version where 404 ended with his protective streak for Carmen kicking into high gear, and they would be fighting off Vile Guards back to back in perfect tandem. Then, having chosen Carmen over VILE, it was Carmen who actually orchestrates Gray going "off grid" so that VILE can never find him again. Funny, I know that is arguably the version of Gray's arc that many fans might have preferred seeing. But in the tradition of spy thrillers and film noir, and for a lone wolf character like Carmen who is focused on her life mission and not romance, we stand behind where we went with him. We felt it was so much more compelling ... and truly more emotional that he totally has a get out of jail free card when he sacrifices everything (including his life, potentially) to save Carmen.

when she needs him most!

I know I made some controversial comments about Gray "not being good enough for Carmen" and I'd like to clarify that I meant, until that final episode. What he did was so selfless and heroic. Is there hope for them in the future? Who knows?! But I do hope we get to explore that one day

I'm sure Gray is living off the grid somewhere now, inspired by Carmen's selfless good and thinking of her from time to time.

PizzaHorse:

You mentioned in the interview with Alicyn that Carmen is a love story, but you were cut off before you could finish discussing. Could you elaborate on your answer now?

Duane Capizzi:

Ugh, yes! Sorry about that. I actually answered that privately for someone so will cut and paste that response here. Let's see if it works.

Something we never said in the show, but something I imparted to the creative team was: Carmen Sandiego is (among other things) a LOVE STORY, where every character in our ensemble is in love with Carmen in one way or another. Even if they don't know it! That love can take different forms: we see how spurned by Carmen Coach Brunt feels and why she retaliates so excessively. Chase eventually comes to realize that he too loves Carmen, even if he wasn't initially aware of it haha. One of the most moving things to me about the series is how all of the different factions come to Carmen's rescue at the end when she's not "in her right mind," without knowing the others are there too. It's a massive group effort to bring back the Carmen they love. But we weren't looking for a fairy tale ending for Carmen with ANYone - Carmen's a classic lone wolf anti-hero, that goes with the territory. At least at this stage in her journey.

PizzaHorse:

Were there other locations that you wanted to feature in the show that didn't make it?

Duane Capizzi:

I think we managed to cover a lot of ground and "cadence" between different countries/cultures/continents was important to us. Many "iconic" locations of course, and it would have been nice to explore some lesser known locations if we had more episodes.

One that we almost did was Niagara Falls, Canada - actually literally going to the Falls and doing a big hydro-electric caper, where Player could actually get into the field with Carmen and the team.

But ultimately, we wound up bringing Player into the fold the way we did and wound up stronger as a result. It made his "first face to face" with Carmen even more impactful, IMO.

PizzaHorse:

Were there any changes in production between the first half and the second half of the series?

Duane Capizzi:

Well, there was that Covid thing

But while it was no doubt a colossal undertaking to get the entire staff transitioned to work from home (animators! and their equipment!), we managed to make up for lost time WITHOUT a dip in animation quality. My fedora's off to our amazing team at Wildbrain for pulling it off!

We did lose some staff between orders, but that is a natural part of production unfortunately. Namely, one of our episodic directors Kenny Park, our first storyboard artist Dennis Crawford, and our story editor May Chan were among those who moved on to other shows during the break. But, as hard as their shoes were to fill, fill them we did!

PizzaHorse:

What is your favorite season?

Duane Capizzi:

Easy. Hands down, Season 3.

(crickets)

KIDDING!

Again, another "they're all my babies" answer (and yes, I love Season 3 equally

It's hard, because really when you step back I'm sure you'll agree it's a series, with stand alone capers; but it's really all ONE BIG MOVIE.

Season 3 is like the scherzo of a symphony: the shortest movement of four, and the one that tees up the big finale.

That's my hoity toity answer but I'm going to put to rest all of the various theories on what happened with season 3. It was a combination of two things: Netflix's desire to experiment with different ways of "dropping" seasons, and their desire to do a holiday themed drop (in this case Halloween, naturally). It became our challenge to come up with a theme (easy enough: masks), and the bigger challenge to serve their need while not interrupting our ongoing narrative. A challenge to be sure, but a challenge met. I think the biggest bump was perception: it was a short season and I know that was disappointing to many. But, by design.

So, Season 3 = an essential part of the whole. I don't think there's a wasted episode, and it gets everyone into position for the big finish. I can't pick a favorite season - you can't make me

PizzaHorse:

Were there any characters you had wanted to give more time to but couldn't due to time/plot restraints?

Duane Capizzi:

Well, there's the "what was on the white board" answer but hopefully some of those ideas will see the light of day in some way, shape or form some day. I think if we had more episodes, we would have shaken up the internal dynamic of VILE a bit more (as hinted at Brunt's displeasure with Maelstrom for leaving her hanging out to dry at end of 405 - a seed we planted "just in case," as some have noted). And we had more scenes in mind with Chase's partnering with Carmen for the first time that we had to cut to the bone because of what little room we had in that otherwise packed episode (worry not: it's mostly more gags, more embellishment, more twists and turns - but the important stuff is there). Mostly, and I don't think it would have been right for Season 4 but I hope to tell in the future, I think there's an interesting history between Shadowsan and Lady Dokuso - possibly tragic - that I would love to explore one day. (She was a cameo in Duke of Vermeer at the dinner party BTW, I'm not sure if anyone noticed. And we built a bigger role for her out of that)

PizzaHorse:

What are some pre-2000/nostalgic Carmen references you snuck into the show? Do you have a favorite reference that was included?

Duane Capizzi:

Doing that was so much fun! I'd say roughly 60% of the characters were from previous iterations of Carmen, though often in name only. We had fun reimagining most everyone to make them more relevant or updated or giving them a more colorful personality for starters.

"Suhara" was Carmen's Japanese mentor when she worked at the ACME Agency in a flashback episode in the 90's series, for instance. I don't think I need to spell out how we turned that one inside out

And Tigress was also one episode only: she was a "rival thief" to Carmen, but revealed to be an ACME agent in disguise - a persona created solely to bait Carmen. It was really cool of course, but it seemed like untapped potential so we made her an ACTUAL Vile Thief.

My own internal rule was to make sure the references/easter eggs wouldn't confuse anyone - they were there for those who were in the loop and window dressing. The one and only time i broke that rule was Dark Carmen's line from 407: "I do it for the mental gymnastics." It was one of the most absurd lines from the 90's series (IMO) and i was determined to have it come out of Dark Carmen's mouth. I'm sure it left some 7 year olds scratching their heads

aside from that, the key references were the music: I still tingle at how we worked the Rockapella theme into the Interactive Special; and the 90's main title theme (composed by Mozart!), in our Vienna episode ("They're playing my song"). If you wanted Rockapella or Carmen as a bad guy, well ... be careful what you wish for!

PizzaHorse:

Was there any improvised content from recording sessions that made it into any episodes?

Duane Capizzi:

Yes! Not much, because a lot of it would have pushed us into TV-MA haha

Mostly Mary Elizabeth - Coach Brunt has a POTTY MOUTH!

Mikey and Abby usually riffed their banter WAY beyond what was on the written page and had us in stitches. Some bits definitely made it in! But mostly there was too much or it would get off point (hmmm, much like my interview answers maybe? haha)

Sharon Muthu did rise to Pun Goddess status with "Mask and you shall receive." And Raf pitched me "Chasse means hunt in French" after one session and I said: "I'm going to write that in." I don't think he believed me. You can't say I'm not a straight shooter.

PizzaHorse:

If you could get more season, would you do it, and what type of story would you tell?

Duane Capizzi:

Well if that hasn't been clear so far, ABSOLUTELY

There have been discussions of course. It's up to the powers that be at this point. I will say this: the beauty and tradition so far has been that every iteration has been its own thing. I definitely think there are more "different canon" versions of Carmen that can be had and be a part of this wonderful tradition. After all, there were many naysayers for our version when it was first announced.

I will also say that if we don't get to tell any more stories in this canon with these characters, we've left a perfect gem that will stand the test of time. I would rather go out on a high note than overstay our welcome.

All that said, we worked within the allotted episodes given, ended it as we wished, but left the door open for other stories. I'd love to do an expansion and a deepening: pick up where we left off; find out what happened in those two years; and proceed to do the equivalent of Godfather II or Better Call Saul as related to the amazing originals they followed.

Let's hope! Keep putting good vibes out there!

PizzaHorse:

If you could pick a character on Carmen Sandiego who'd you switch places with for a day (you get to control their life and they get to control yours) who would you pick, and why?

Duane Capizzi:

Okay, THIS is difficult. So you're going Freaky Friday on me?

on a Sunday?

Hmmm, I know Ivy would get along with my cat ... but then I'd have to hang out with Zack!

That's the trick: I can't pick my favorites cuz I couldn't hang out with them!

(not that I have favorites - they're all my babies haha)

Okay, I have one: ROUNDABOUT. I could fill Shadowsan's seat - how cool is that? Then, I could enact all my evil fantasies - but still have a get out of jail free card cuz he'd be sitting at my desk!

(cut to Duane being brain wiped - D'oh!)

PizzaHorse:

Who are two characters who don't really interact in the show that you think could be good friends or work really well together?

Duane Capizzi:

Hmmmm. Okay, now I'm going to give you quick and sassy answers. Gray and Julia! They'd be so cute banding together to rescue captive Carmen (for instance). And they could also duke it out and maybe settle things between themselves re: shipping controversies instead of dragging me into it

PizzaHorse:

The FINAL QUESTION. Have you learned anything super impactful while working on the show?

Duane Capizzi:

Aside from Iceland's terrifically low crime rate?

I think I have learned to never underestimate how meaningful characters can be to fans. Social media has obviously brought us a lot closer to our fan base in more immediate ways: it's been really gratifying to hear/see/read feedback and not be writing things in a vacuum. It's been gratifying to see that ideas that were meaningful to myself and the creative team on Carmen that were crafted with care, have also resonated with our fan base. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE who has traveled on this journey with us - for embracing Carmen's world view, and her friends and foes alike. Take care everyone! Stay safe! This has been fun, thanks for having me!

PizzaHorse:

HUGE thank you to Duane Capizzi: for being here today.

Thank you everyone for watching and reacting!

Duane Capizzi:

Okay, gotta run - just gotta find the door

Anyway, really: THIS HAS BEEN AMAZING. I speak for everyone involved in the creation and production of Carmen: it has been an amazing and inspiring series and we're elated to see it connect with such a CREATIVE, TALENTED and INTELLIGENT fan base. Take care everyone! Until next crime...

[theswiftarmy]

#19 - 6000 Headphones, 12 Mobile Phones, SOO Many Shoes, And An Earworm Inside The Biebs’ Head

What better way to fight a war than with love?  And what better way to rule the world than with love?  Because how do you fight back against love?  How do you?  What’s that lawn sign?  Love trumps hate—Or, what did Taylor say?  Hater’s gonna hate (hate x3), is my math right on that?  How many times does Taylor say the word hate in Shake It Off?  Or, if you live in the south, Gators gonna gait….  Get it?  Because there are gators always walking around in the south and the word gait is another word for how a person walks, although, I don’t know if it can be applied to an alligator walking around because I’m pretty sure they crawl instead of walk.  Although, perhaps one might describe alligators as slithering around like snakes, then again, if you ask a snake, they’ll be like… WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?  Alligators don’t slither, don’t even try to steal my mode of mobility, they saunter, and maybe alligators do saunter about.  But, let’s just pretend alligators gait, because it rhymes with haters gonna hate.  There’s a lot of pretending going on in this story.  Just remember that, play pretend and you’ll follow along just fine.

           Stay with me here for a quick second and a hot minute before I get back to the story—suppose that this Elvis sound were real, obviously it’s not because it’s just a story and not real, remember we’re just playing pretend, unless… it IS real and I’m coincidentally writing fiction about something that DOES happens to be real, I just don’t happen to know that it is real, I suppose there’s always that highly unlikely scenario—but just for a moment, let your imagination run wild and really think about it.  Back in the day when Rock and Roll first came into existence it changed the world, or so I’ve been told, it changed everyone who encountered it, again, not from personal experience, just what I’ve been told, the groove made you move, brought people together in a new and different way.  It’s hard to know what that experience was like if you didn’t live through it, especially since it’s all part of our society and history nowadays.  But, there was a time before it existed when no one even knew something like it could exist, and then ears at the time were infected with infectious melodies that they couldn’t get enough of, they hungered for more of this new and incredible musical genre, of course it wouldn’t be the last time a new genre was created and ears hungered for more.

But an interesting side effect of it all was that it created cultural icons, as the new genres continue to do.  It created idols, you know, like those with the first name of Billy, it created nice days for white weddings, and to start again.  And of course, these days there’s a new Billie in idol town, but I’ll get to why I bring her up later on.

Early rock stars and pop icons became immortalized, living on long after death, they’re gods and goddesses, a new era of decorated war heros or royals, as Lorde so eloquently put it, the weapon of choice a microphone or a guitar, or maybe both, or sometimes a keyboard, or a plethora of other instruments, insert instrument of choice here, maybe even a ukulele!  Mostly, though, early on the rock and roll army was a guitarmy.

These rock gods and goddesses all image and no human being, especially true of those who are no longer with us, the human being may be gone, but the image lives on, and we still look up to those who can sing and dance and gel their hair back in slick new ways.  Fantastic fashion abound, and the preferred weapons around, like I said, musical instruments, maybe some guitars, and guitar solos the ammunition.  Some would argue, not me, but some would say that’s what has gone wrong in our modern society, we mourn the loss of great guitar solos from these songs at the top of the charts.  

Could one correlate a graph with a rise in violence directly inversely correlated with solos in rock music?  Maybe.  But anyone can correlate anything if you tried hard enough, which is the point here, like fictionally connecting modern day Billy Porter in Taylor Swift’s music video for You Need To Calm Down, to back in the day Bill Porter, the sound engineer with the golden ear that recorded with Elvis in The Sixties.  But it does seem as though the guitar solo has been quietly replaced, those wailing solos instead becoming a bank of samples on which most music is now based.  Samples upon samples spliced in and layered over top of loops and mashed together with other samples and loops, but where did the samples originate?  So many musicians use samples in music without knowing anything about their origin.  It’s the wild west of sampling.  Anything that sounds good can be put in a beat or a hook.  And of course top it off with “The Drop”.  Ah yes, The Drop—the silence before a storm of melody, and perhaps that silence is what does it, what makes you anticipate the hook, what makes you addicted to the noise.  It sucks you in, and holds your ears hostage, note after note after note.  Making it so hard to turn the song off, we simply can’t get enough of the stuff.

           Suppose the sound were real though, go all in with suspension of disbelief, and samples upon samples of it were layered into songs you listen to, some of your favorite songs of all time, the ones you can’t get enough of and press repeat again, and again, exposing your ears over and over to the sound… Changing your brainwaves and playing with your mind and emotions… each new track artists put out an even more potent version to pull fans in, the only choice the fans have is to follow, unable to break away from the influence of our favorite icons and idols as we hang on their every word.  I mean, is it so absurd?  We continue to break streaming records, sell out stadiums, and fans are willing to fight for the right for their favorite artist to part ways with a record label, if you were an artist or a band, and in the market for fans, wouldn’t you sign up for it too?  What’s the harm in a little bit of sugar and spice to make everything already nice… Well, even more so, maybe twice or thrice that spice?  

And is it really all that hard to believe?  How many times have you pushed the back button on a song and listened to it again, a third time, a fifth time in a row?  How many times have you done something you wouldn’t normally have done because of a song?  How many times have you turned yourself around because a song changed your mood or mind, or your heart, asked someone to dance, or texted someone you probably wouldn’t have texted because of a tune you heard playing out on the town, or while shopping, or a song playing in a movie or TV show—how many times was just hearing the slightest snippet of a certain song taken as a sign and changed the course of your entire life?  I’m willing to bet more than a few of you out there just raised your hand.

Oak Felder finished making another point, “…but all that is lost to history and now pop stars are using it to control their fans.”

“Lure them in with love.”  Ariana said smiling.  “I mean, it works!”

“This is like, really blowing my mind right now.”  Scooter said.  “This just keeps getting even crazier!  It’s like, be careful what music you listen to because you have no idea what might happen to your mind…”

Scott reminded Scooter.  “And especially in Justin’s case, yeah—because his mind could be wiped if he hears the wrong song while he’s earwormed.”

Oak looked over at Pop, “Well, hold on to your seat, Scooter, because I found something else noteworthy!  We took Ariana’s suggestion to Shazam the sound, and—though I didn’t exactly do that—while we were analyzing it last night I did extract the sonic footprint of it, and Pop here was able to cross reference the footprint against the Shazam database in its entirety.”

“Yeah?”  Scooter responded, bracing for something extremely mind numbing.

“It seems as though Scott’s mystery Porter Pyramid noise, AKA ‘The Elvis Egg’ sound, may be in a lot more music than we thought.  It seems to show up across the Shazam library as small bits and pieces, or as these small pieces of music are more commonly referred to as, samples.”

“Wait, you mean sampling?”  Justin said, sitting again beside Ariana Grande but this time in a small but fun looking and colorfully designed IKEA-esk chair right beside the oversized beanbag chair, since Ariana had already called perpetual fivesies on the bean chair Justin had to find a new seat from the last time the group was in the studio.  Fivesies, for those not in the loop mean you have a claim to your seat after getting up, but that claim lasts for no more and no less than five minutes.  Although some people don’t always adhere to the rule, I won’t name names, but you know who you are.  Was that ten years ago?  Yes.  Am I still bitter?  That was my seat and you know it—Whatever, I’m allowed to be upset, how could anyone reading this possibly know what it’s like to have something that used to be yours suddenly in the possession of someone else.  It was mine, and then all of a sudden someone else is sitting on it, and wouldn’t let me have what was rightfully mine—even after I called fivesies!  It’s frustrating when someone takes something that was yours.  I mean, Taylor gets it, she called Fivesies on her back catalog of recordings and someone else, I won’t name names, totally took it from her.  Sorry, I digress, I’ll get back to the story—I’m in one of those writer’s moods, if you couldn’t tell.

Oak responded very matter-of-factly.  “That’s right Justin, sampling.  You know it as beats, grooves, drum breaks, horn sounds, and guitar riffs, just to name a few examples.  Most listeners have no idea that the original source of the sounds isn’t a direct recording, but a mashed up copy of a copy of a copy, sometimes many times over.”

“So, does that mean there are bad samples in music?” Ariana said swooping in and stealing the response directed at Justin—maybe you should have called fivesies on the convo, Justin.

Scooter scooted into the conversation too, taking some response time as well, being that it was there for the taking, like how Taylor’s masters were, so why not?  Why buy a vowel when you can buy an entire sentence in the form of a question, “What, like, you’re telling me that music is infected?  How?  Is it all music?”

That was three questions Scooter; you were only supposed to have asked one, you only bought one question, not three.

“No, not all music.  Just certain samples—“ Pop Wansel replied very Goldblum-y.  It was his turn to be Jeff.  Everyone gets to be Jeff Goldblum at least once and you can’t call fivesies on being Jeff Goldblum, only Jeff himself can do that.

Oak leaned forward in his Spaceship command chair.  “What’s the most sampled song of all time?  Does anyone know?”

“Umm…”  They all unknowingly blinked their eyes in the same cadence of the Capitol Records light and shook their heads and shrugged their shoulders, Justin’s cats moved their tails back and forth as they sat sleepily on the laps of two humans in the room, I’m not at liberty to disclose which two laps the cats sat upon, but they sat on two laps.  No fivesies were called, cats don’t need fivesies, they just sit wherever they please.

“No one knows the answer?  Well, the year was 1969.  A funk soul band named The Winstons released a single called ‘Color Him Father’.  The B side of that record contained a funked up version of a gospel song named ‘Amen, Brother’.  Now, of course, Color Him Father would win a Grammy for best R and B song after hitting number seven on the Billboard hot 100 charts, but the B side to that record?  Well, no one really paid it much attention for years… Eventually it would become the most sampled drum break in all music, it’s called the ‘Amen Break’.  It was first added to a compilation named Ultimate Breaks and Beats, which was popular with Hip Hop producers and DJs during the early days of Hip Hop.  The breakthrough hit Straight Outta Compton by N.W.A. most likely propelled it into the mainstream, Straight Outta Compton contained a slowed down looped version of the Amen Break in its entirety, although it was used on other songs at the time as well.  I believe the first track to sample it was I Desire by Salt-N-Pepa.  Eventually it was broken apart, spliced up, and bits and piece of it were used in thousands of songs.”

“So, are you saying sampling is bad?”  The lawyer asked, his red pen poised and ready to make a new note on his notepad.

“No.  Oh, of course not.  There are a lot of great songs that contain samples, but as with any tool, or invention, it’s in the way that you use it, like Eric Clapton says.  Same is true with any sign, or symbol, or any product of a culture, or subculture, it’s the way you use it, or more importantly, what meaning becomes attached.  Musically speaking, it’s about what hooks on to those catchy hooks.  Brands are a whole other ballgame and a conversation for another time—Sometimes just by wearing a certain brand, or putting a sticker on the bumper of your car, you can say a lot about what you stand for, without using any words at all.  Without going really deep into the meaning of life, for whatever reason we humans have a way of creating things that represent the good in the world, the bad in the world, and additionally, the indifferent—or one point of view over another—like I said, conversation for another time.  But the meanings shift, something that had absolutely no real meaning can become a symbol of power, or a movement.  A heart symbol could say love, but it could be a declaration of war depending on the context and who sends it to you.  How many individuals took a knee before Colin Kaepernick did?  Did the gesture of taking a knee change in its meaning after Colin did it?  How about when Nike made a deal with Colin, how did that change the meaning of the Nike symbol?  I’m going to let you think about the answers to those questions.  Music, brands, gestures, bumper stickers are simply what they are, but in the context of society and culture in a specific place and time the meaning can be so much more.  Music isn’t just music, it’s so much more.  Every person will tell you his or her personal attachment to any song, and it can be a shared experience, or a singular one.  I’m sure we can all think of a song that takes us back in time, and maybe it’s a memory you share with millions, or an experience only you know about.  Humans have a tendency not to start out making anything to be a symbol of a moment, that usually happens later on, we make things, usually with the best of intentions, but sometimes just because it’s something that we are passionate about, what starts out as innocent, or cool, or just something to do, can become a beacon of hope, in the right hands, or a nightmare down the road should it fall into the wrong hands.  The future of anything can’t be predicted.  Rock and Roll had a start with a small group of musicians who probably didn’t even know it was Rock and Roll at the time, and that it would eventually spread through the entire world.  The Amen Break started with one single drummer Gregory C. Coleman, and later would be used in thousands of songs.”

“And that’s causing this war with the Swifities?  The war with Taylor?”  An Arianator asked.

“We aren’t at war with Taylor…” Oak replied, his tone of voice turning very serious, “We’re at war with an unfortunate scenario.  Taylor isn’t fighting a war because she wants to, she’s fighting it because she needs to.  It’s not her fault, she’s a victim of circumstance... as so many other innocent people on this planet have been and continue to be.”

Scott grabbed his share of the conversation as well, “Trouble’s gonna follow where she goes…”

Oak took it back, “Trouble follows us all, we are all victims of circumstance.  And we’re all fighting wars made of personal battles.  Just some of us more than others.”

“She’s a victim of her own music holding her hostage, like how I’m a victim of this earworm in my head.”  Justin said solemnly.

Ariana turned to Justin sitting beside her, “Since you don’t want to talk about what happened, I may be out of place by saying this, and I hate to have to say this Justin, but if you hadn’t broken up with Selena like twenty times, you might not have her earworm in your head right now.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”  Justin said back.

Ariana stifled a growl of frustration with her hands, turning her attention to Oak instead.  “So we’re fighting to free Taylor from her old masters?  Or specifically, from that egg sound—from samples used… We’re fighting for her, not against her?”  Ariana asked for clarification.  She reached for her phone in her pocket and gave it a squeeze.  With the masters tracks back in Taylor’s hands, she now held the only recording of the easter egg track should they need it.  She decided to keep its existence a secret.  If they found out they may take it from her.  For a minute she felt a rush of power wash over her, like some energy from the past or another dimension was trying to come to her and take over.  The power pulsed through her for a brief moment, chills down her spine, before she was able to push back against whatever it was creating the rush inside her.

“As long as I still get to own her.” Scooter said, “I mean, own her old masters, sorry, that’s what I meant.  A deal is a deal and I bought them fair and square.”

Everyone glowered at Scooter.

“What?  I mean, after this is all over of course.”

Everyone continued to glower.

“Why am I the bad guy in this?”

Flower power was big in the 60s, but in these modern times glower power is where it is at.

“Okay FINE, once this is over I’ll work with her to figure out a way for her to buy back her masters, or something.”

Glower power for the win.

Scooter uncrossed his fingers from behind his back.  You sly devil you.

“The Elvis egg sound isn’t good or bad in itself, just like The Amen Break isn’t good or bad, Rock and Roll and Hip Hop are music, but to paraphrase Clapton, it’s in the way that she’s using it.  See the egg sound in itself makes you feel trippy; Which makes sense, it’s from the 60s.  The Elvis egg sound is from the start of the decade, and the Amen Break is from the end of the decade.  The egg sound makes you feel good.  But, as we’ve come to learn, when it interacts with specific sound samples, such as The Amen Break—that’s when you get… Well, it seems you get side effects.  But those side effects used in a specific manner, like what was done to Justin here, can be used as a weapon—” Oak told them as much as they needed to know.  It’s a bit like when scientists first invented the atom bomb, too much knowledge about something with that much power can be dangerous.  Musical genres have more power and are more influential than anyone could possibly fathom.  “It’s a weapon of war.”  He said plainly.

“That’s where the earworm came from.  You combine specific samples together… and anything is possible.  It can be used to push viral content, or addict and hook fans, or you can disarm your opponents, make them unable to fight back.”  Pop clarified for the ears in the room.  “When you combine new and old samples, things get really tricky.  Take, umm… Old Town Road, for example, that song took off seemingly overnight, but why?”

“Well it obviously took off because of me when I shared it on social media for all my Beliebers.”  Justin said. He tried to sing the song and do the dance… “Gonna take my love to the love love road to love love, I needed to lose you to love me… “  He stopped trying and sat there lost inside his head again.

“That’s not quite how it goes, but I’m fascinated by the mashup of music going on in your head.  Does anyone else want to comment on the song, does anyone know the origin of the track used behind the vocals?”  Oak asked.

“Didn’t he just find it online, Soundcloud, or YouTube or something, and then… Lay down his vocals over it?”  One of the Arianators offered.

“No, I think he bought it from a beats site for 30 bucks.  Wait, let me Google it.  Okay, it says here ‘The hook was originally purchased for $30 on BeatStars, a rap-focused beats marketplace.’ That’s cool.”  The other Arianator replied back.

           Oak stepped in, his voice soothing and constructive, “Well, so the original sample in Old Town Road is actually a Nine Inch Nails song named 34 Ghosts IV.  And it was placed over a trap beat and posted online for sale by a Dutch teenager Kiowa Roukema, who also goes by ‘Young Kio’.  Now, when you consider the entire Old Town Road song together in final form you have various tracks recorded at various times and places using various microphones and instruments, and other recording equipment including effects processors and such.  Each individual sound recording and sample was layered on top of one another, even the original sound sample from Nine Inch Nails had already been mastered, yet it was mastered again when it was posted for sale as a beat, and then mastered another time when Lil Nas X posted his version online, then the remix was mastered yet again.  It’s like Scooter said, an omlette of eggs.  If any piece of it contains the egg sound, you have a very complex variation of the original sounds that has been manipulated and mangled many times over with every sub master, the same has happened over the years with The Amen Break.  For all we know the Amen Break could be in that song, as there isn’t a clear source of every sample used to make the trap beat.  It’s a potent mix that when played into someone’s ear can have some very strange effects—”

           “Love love… To love love… I needed to lose you to love me… Dammit Selena!  Get out of my head!”  Justin erupted cutting off the conversation.  “It’s GETTING WORSE!”  He shouted then kneeled down on the floor holding his head between his hands he hummed Selena Gomez’s song Lose You To Love Me, softly at first, then yelled out, “GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”  He started to cry, just for a few tears, before wiping them away and sprawling out on the floor looking up at the ceiling fan.  His tears of anguish continued, flowing from his eyes and running down his cheeks.  “I give up.” He said quietly, his lower lip quivering.  “I can’t stop hearing it.  It’s just there on repeat—over and over again.  I just give up.  I want it to stop.  Make it stop.  I can’t take it anymore!  I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!  SELINA GOMEZ MAKE IT STOP!!!  I WANT OUT OF THIS!  I DON’T WANT YOU IN MY HEAD ANYMORE!!!”

“Oak you gotta help him.  Can’t you do anything?”  Ariana begged rushing to Justin’s side.

           Oak looked over at Pop.  They nodded to one another.  Justin couldn’t wait any longer.

           Pop got up and walked over to a Star Wars movie poster on the wall.  He turned around and held his hand out, Oak tossed the replica light saber at him, Pop caught it without flinching and then stood in front of the poster mimicking the stance of Skywalker.

           The poster began to roll up revealing a door.

           “No way!”  Scooter gasped.  “What the?”

           Oak smiled.  “Shall we?”

           Ariana helped Justin up and walked with him.  Her two Arianators rushed over to help carry him.

           Everyone walked over to the doorway previously hidden behind the poster and one by one they walked through it.

           The doorway led into a passageway that resembled the engine room of a spaceship—It was something out of every movie you’ve ever seen that takes place in space.  Hidden LED lights glowed spreading a soft even light, a blue hue that matched a humming sound, the engines of the spaceship.

           Oak Felder and Pop Wansel piloted the crew through the copious amount of twists and turns.  Several times forks in the tunnel shot off to the left or right of them.

           “How much money did it cost you to build this?”  The lawyer asked at one point.  Oak didn’t answer until they reached their final destination.

           “I didn’t build it for me, it was initially my wife’s extended shoe closet for shoe’s she refused to throw out, even though she knew she would never wear them again.”

           Scooter laughed.  “My wife would be jealous, her shoe collection is taking over the house!  I used to think ‘why would you keep shoes if you’re never going to wear them again?’  Ah, I was so young and naive.  I know better now.  But why?  Why so many shoes!”

Ariana responded “It’s just a thing.  It’s like keeping photos, memories of the past.  Also, you never know, there MIGHT be an occasion when you need that EXACT shoe!  And then if you had previously owned that pair and thrown them out you’d be kicking yourself.  Also, if you can afford that many shoes, why not spoil yourself? Whoever said money can't solve your problems, must not have had enough money to solve 'em, they say, ‘Which one?’ I say, ‘Nah, I want all of 'em’, happiness is the same price as red-bottoms.”

Oak stopped the group at a large door.  The door glowed amber around the edges outlining its silhouette.  He pulled out a key.  He inserted the key and turned the key clockwise.  While still holding the key in its turned position he pressed a large button, the first few seconds of a song began to play then it stopped.  He named the artist and the song.  Another song played, then stopped, again he named the artist and the song speaking out loud towards the door.  This continued for three more songs, after which a sixth and final song played for a little longer than the first five.  It played long enough for a few song lyrics to be heard before stopping, he continued singing the next line picking up where the song left off.

A small display beside the key and button read, “You win this round of trivia tunes!”

With that the door opened.

“SO that’s how you’re soo good at the audio round when we go to trivia night.”  Ariana said jokingly.

“You got me.”

With that Oak ushered everyone through the door.

“Whoa!” Scott shouted out after the motion sensor lights turned from a low amber glow to a bright and cheerful yellow, fully illuminating the room.

Half the room was filled with rows upon rows of headphones—All different kinds, vintage, modern, big clunky over ear headphones, sleek new sport Bluetooth ear buds that slipped inside the ear, every different type anyone could possibly imagine, there were thousands upon thousands of headphones, the collection seemed to go on forever, endlessly.  The other half of the room was filled with an equal amount of shoes, which also seemed to go on forever.

“Yeah, my wife really likes shoes.  What’s that phrase?  Happy wife, happy life.  All those songwriter royalty checks mostly go to two things, new toys for the studio, and my wife.”

“Oak, I was saying whoa about the headphone collection, but the shoe collection is equally as impressive as well.” Scott scanned the room with his eyes. “How many headphones are in here Oak?”  Scott asked out of curiosity.

“Hmm, I’d say at least six thousand.  I’ve lost count.”

“Six thousand headphones!”

“I had more, but my wife made me get rid of some to make space to move more shoes in.”  He shrugged as if to silently say, what are you gonna do about it?  Nothing.  “Okay, let’s see what we can do for Justin.”

Oak held his finger in the air and wiggled it towards him indicating for the group to follow.  They walked down a few rows of headphones as though they were walking through the aisles in a headphone only thrift shop.  Headphones clung neatly to hooks as low as a few inches off the floor all the way to the ceiling three stories up.  Ladders like one might find in an old bookstore ran along the shelves for access to the upper levels.

Oak picked up one pair and handed the headphones to Justin.  They were super vintage, 70s or 80s maybe? Well worn, large and clunky.  He plugged the audio cable into the same device he had used to diagnose the earworm playing a sound through the headphones.  “How about that?”

Justin stood for a minute with the headphones on his head then shook his head no indicating that the worm was stronger than ever.  Taking the headphones off he handed them back to Oak.  They walked a to the end of an aisle then down another, “AH HAH!”  He took another pair off a hook.  This time the pair was Bluetooth capable modern and flashy, customizable and comfortable with an over the ear fit.  He carefully placed the headphones over Justin’s ears and tapped on the digital touch screen of the earworm device after syncing the Bluetooth connection. He cycled through various settings.

“Anything yet?”

“No.  I don’t think so.”  Justin shook his head, and then shifted the headphones to fit better.  Oak continued to tap through various settings.

“Wait!”  Justin smiled slightly.  “Go back!”

Oak tapped the screen again.

“There!  I mean, I can still hear it slightly, but it’s barely even noticeable just soft background music.  I can deal with it like this.  Whatever these headphones do, keep doing it.”

Oak searched for the right response, “Umm, well it’s complicated science, let’s just say they’re emitting a phase cancelation noise that is close to what the earworm sound is.”

“Works for me!”  Justin said in an upbeat voice.

Ariana high fived Oak and then low fived Justin.

           Just then the lawyer’s phone rang.  He walked away for privacy.  “Uh huh… Oh, interesting…”

           “That’s not good.”  Scott said staring at the lawyer.

           “How do you know?”  Scooter asked.

           Scott shook his head.  “He only says ‘oh, interesting…’ when it’s something bad.  He’ll never say anything is bad, just ‘interesting’.”

           “How does he get cell service down here?”  Oak asked.  “Even I don’t get cell service!”

           “With him, it’s better not to question such things, just accepted it.”  Scott replied.

           “Okay then.”  Oak said, backing off the subject.

           After the call ended Carl, the lawyer walked back over to the group.

“What is it?” Scott asked.

“Just got off the phone with… Well, I’m not at liberty to disclose who the caller was… but let’s just say they had an interesting piece of information.”

“And that information is?”  Scott said in a coaxing voice.

“Taylor is going to place the porter egg sound behind her song Lover during her performance tonight at the American Music Awards, she’s using the string arrangement as a guise.”

“She can’t do that, we have to stop that!”  Scooter screamed out.  The room fell silent aside from the humming of a few air ventilation fans.

“There may be a way.” Oak finally said, breaking the silence.  “It would require getting two specific individuals to join with us—we’ll need someone on the inside who can get access to the equipment in order to swap the sound a second time with a placebo track, and we need someone to interrupt Taylor Swift right before her speech, long enough to swap out that backing track she’s going to play during Lover.”

“I can think of two people who might be perfect.” Justin’s spirits were picking back up, he seemed to be closer to his old self and less distant.

“Who?”  Scott asked.

“Well, the insider will already be there… Billie Eilish.  We’ve been chill ever since Coachella, you remember, Ariana,” Ariana nodded, how could she forget Coachella.  Justin continued, “and of course more recently she let me record a vocal track on another version of her ‘Bad Guy’ single.  I’m pretty sure she hasn’t made an alliance with Taylor yet.  I know, I KNOW, I was wrong about Ed Sheeran, but I think we can trust Billie.”

“Okay, that would work.  What about the other person?  We need someone to interrupt Taylor before the song, we need someone who has experience, who can get it right, we’ll only get one shot at this…”

They glanced at each other, not saying a word.

Scooter smiled, “Anyone else thinking what I’m thinking?  There’s only one person with the skill and experience to interrupt Taylor Swift at precisely the right moment.”

“KANYE WEST!”  Everyone yelled together.

The helicopter blades spun up as the group climbed through the open doors.  Scott told his ‘Where we’re going we don’t need roads, because we’re in a helicopter!’ joke again.  Oak laughed.

“See, Oak gets my humor.”  Scott said, satisfied that his joke was finally a hit.

Sushi and Tuna could be seen sitting in a window of the house looking out.  They were to stay at the spaceship studio in the care of the Defenders just in case Taylor tried to make any further kitty cat kidnapping attempts.

Pop was the last to climb on board, a Defender handed him a large black duffle bag after he was safely inside the helicopter.  He then handed the bag to Oak.  Oak unzipped the bag to make sure the contents were all there, enough gold headphone cases for each one of them.  He passed the cases out.  “Don’t lose these.”  Oak instructed them.  “There’s a set of over ear Beats by Dre headphones, special grade custom made Solo Pro with Active Noise Cancelling technology.  They’re linked with an integrated communication system so we can communicate with each other.  Works up to five miles away in a mesh network, so as long as each one of us is within at least five miles of another person, we can all talk.  Battery runs off kinetic energy, as long as you’re breathing, the headphones will work.  Unfold them to turn on, fold them to turn off.  There’s one mode for active cancelation with communication and another pre programed mode matching Justin’s frequency in case you get earwormed.  We don’t know if they have one strain of the Gomez earworm, or multiple, but right now, it’s the best we have.  This does mean Justin won’t have communication with us through the headphones, someone’s going to have to stay with him should the need arise for us to use these.”

“What are these little ones?” Scooter asked picking a smaller set of ear buds from perfectly cut-to-shape spaces within the foam.  They sat snuggly inside the case beside the Beats Solo Pro headphones.

“Lookalike AirPods—although, they aren’t Apple, Taylor’s been handing out some kind of custom set to her Swifties, they call them SwiftPods.  These will work in a pinch to protect you from both the Swift sound, and possible exposure to an earworm, but they contain no communication and it’s hard to hear anyone trying to talk to you, the noise cancelation is complete and contains no filters.  They basically work like earplugs, but they look like SwiftPods so you won’t blow your cover in close proximity to a Swiftie.”

“We won’t be needing these,” Ariana grabbed Scooter’s case out of his hands and handed it back along with her own case.  “Can you drop Scooter and I off at LAX before we stop at Kanye’s house?  My private jet is waiting—we’ve got a show to make…”  She looked over at Scooter disapprovingly.

“Better do as she asks.”  Scooter said to everyone.

“But that’s out of the way!”  Scott exclaimed.  Ariana stared at him, her eyes piercing through him.  He quickly backtracked,  “Yeah, we can do that.  Sure thing, not a problem Ms. Grande.”  Scott said to her after looking to the lawyer and getting a nod of approval from the lawyer.

           “Will you two be alright out there?”  Oak asked.

           Scooter shrugged.

           “We’ll be fine.”  Ariana said in a decisively powerful tone.  “My Arianators will protect us from any Swifties if they try anything tricky, it’s Justin that you need to look out for, they’ve already used him twice in this war game, first with the kittynapping and then the earworm weapon, they’re likely to strike again to get to Scooter.”

           The helicopter lifted into the air headed first for LAX and then to Kanye West’s house.

[asfeedin]

BTS, Beatles, Madonna, Taylor Swift, More

BURBANK, CALIFORNIA – JANUARY 27: (L-R) Jin, Jungkook, RM, Jimin, and J-Hope of “BTS” speak onstage … [+] at iHeartRadio LIVE with BTS presented by HOT TOPIC at iHeartRadio Theater on January 27, 2020 in Burbank, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for iHeartMedia)

Getty Images for iHeartMedia

Upbeat songs are having a surge of popularity in this time of coronavirus gloom. “Happy“ by Pharrell Williams and “Get Lucky“ by Daft Punk are among the most-played tracks of the last decade. The optimistic “Lovely Day” and “Lean On Me” by the late Bill Withers are enjoying a boost on YouTube and other file-sharing and streaming sites.

Here is a list of some musical medicine – songs that are doing well in lockdown, and some alternative cheer-up suggestions.

Recent Songs Doing Well: It is no coincidence that the song doing best in recent weeks is as upbeat as possible. Tones and I’s hit “Dance Monkey“ continues to dominate the YouTube charts and in the top slot on the Global Top Songs chart for the fifth straight week and 20th week overall with 75 million hits. It is followed by the likes of “Don’t Start Now” by Dua Lipa, whose new collection Future Nostalgia set a number of Spotify steaming records, including the most streamed album in a day globally by a British female artist. These songs are followed by more pure pop by the likes of Ariana Grande, Beyoncé, Britney Spears, Rihanna, the Sugababes and Katy Perry. “Say So” by Doja Cat tops various happy 2020 playlists, as does “Stupid Love” by Lady Gaga. Among other tracks picking up plays: “Red Light, Green Light” by Duke Dumont, plus the slightly older songs “Green Light” by Lorde and “Can’t Stop The Feeling” by Justin Timberlake.

BTS: Songs by the K-Pop sensation have been doing well. The septet’s online concert Bang Bang Con had 50.5 million views last weekend. Even some of the group’s older and more obscure tracks are picking up hits, such as “Just One Day” off the Skool Luv Affair EP from 2014, in which each group member imagines one day with his love. The song has topped playlist ideas, and quietly racked up 24 million views on YouTube.

Be Happy: Not surprisingly, people wanting to be happy seek out songs with the word in the title. Apart from “Happy” by Pharrell Williams, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin is back on top of the Spotify playlists. “Happy” tops a YouTube equivalent playlist along with “Shots” by Imagine Dragons.

“Shiny Happy People” by R.E.M., which Michael Stipe said he wrote for children, is also finding its way into radio and internet playlists. The Georgia band’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” returned to Billboard charts last month, while Stripe did his own solo version, adding some tips to avoid coronavirus. Also recommended is R.E.M.’s “I’m Gonna DJ” with its insane lyric: “Death is pretty final/ I’m collecting vinyl/ I’m gonna DJ at the end of the world!”

Not everyone likes singles that force joy, but if you do, try any version of “Happy Days Are Here Again” or “Oh Happy Day,” such as that by Spiritualized. Sting’s remake of “Spread a Little Happiness,” Captain Sensible’s “Happy Talk,” “Happy Together” by The Turtles, and “Happiness” by Goldfrapp are all ripe for a comeback.

Sunny Songs: “Lovely Day” returned to the charts (along with “Lean On Me”) after the death of Withers. Lyrics with optimistic meteorological metaphors do well: “I Can See Clearly Now” by Johnny Nash; U2’s “Beautiful Day”; “Here Comes The Sun” or “Good Day Sunshine” by the Beatles; “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves; and “Rainbow” by Kacey Musgraves.

Reggae Joy: “Three Little Birds” by Bob Marley has been much played for its universal message: “Don’t worry about a thing, ‘cause every little thing is gonna be all right.” For more reggae joy, there is always Marley’s “One Love,” his own version of “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and “You Can Get It If You Really Want” by Jimmy Cliff.

Some Kind Of Wonderful: Another Cliff song, “Wonderful World, Beautiful People,” reminds us that even at the time of COVID-19, listeners still know that life can be wonderful. The words of Otis Redding have been ringing out online (“If you love me too, oh what a wonderful world this could be”) as well as Louis Armstrong (“I hear babies cry, I watch them grow, they’ll learn much more than I’ll ever know/ and I think to myself, what a wonderful world.”). Singles such as “Wonderful Life” by Black and Hurts, two different songs, have also gained some traction.

Material Girl: Madonna’s upbeat 1980s hits such as “Holiday” and “Lucky Star” have been much mentioned in 2020 playlists.

Lightening Up: Bob Dylan’s long and downcast comeback “Murder Most Foul” has a modest 192,000 hits so far on YouTube after its surprise release amid lockdown last month. Still, the Nobel laureate’s “Subterranean Homesick Blues,” “Leopard-Skin Pillbox Hat” and “Highway 61 Revisited” all are witty and fast-moving and recommended to raise a smile. Simon & Garfunkel are getting played for “Cecilia,” “59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy),” the bittersweet “I Am A Rock” and Paul Simon solo tracks such as “Loves Me Like A Rock” or “Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard.”

For all the gl0om of “The End” and “When The Music’s Over,” Jim Morrison of The Doors had his lighter moments and “Hyacinth House” has a false cheer a bit like Elvis Costello’s later “Other Side of Summer” or The Flaming Lips song “Do You Realize?”

David Bowie provides cheer with “Fill Your Heart” and “Kooks,” though probably not “The Laughing Gnome.” His “Heroes” is one of the anthems for frontline workers, with 9 million YouTube views, and has enjoyed a new lease of life with the cover version by Motörhead racking up 36 million views.

Kanye West: Yeezy’s can-do anthem “Stronger,” and his “American Boy” with Estelle, are enjoying playlist success. So has his “Runaway,” as is the Linkin Park song of the same name.

Kids’ Stuff: The lockdown proved to be an ideal time to launch Disney+ in new regions. It was announced this month that the channel reached 50 million subscribers in just six months. A lot of its songs are uplifting for children and others: much of The Jungle Book (“The Bare Necessities”) or Mary Poppins (“Let’s Go Fly a Kite”.)

Elsewhere, listeners of all ages may enjoy Jonathan Richman’s child-like “Ice Cream Man,” “The Tag Game” and “That Summer Feeling.”

Love Songs: “Sex on Fire” by the Kings of Leon came at No 10 in the list of most-played songs of the last decade. Most people have their own personal romantic smile inducer, with those recently mentioned online including James Brown’s “I Got You (I Feel Good)” and Carole King’s “You’ve Got a Friend.” The Killers’ “Mr. Brightside” has shown up in a few lists, even though it is a song about jealousy. Others include Motown classics “My Girl” by The Temptations and “My Guy” by Mary Wells; Sam Cooke’s “You Send Me”; and Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl.”

Good Times: Van Morrison’s “St. Dominic’s Preview” is an example of a feel-great-right-now song. Trending tracks with a similar vibe include “One Day Like This” by Elbow; “Perfect” by The The; “(Sittin’ On) The Dock Of The Bay” by Otis Redding; or Eric Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight.” “I Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas says “I gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a good night.” Prince has much the same sentiment in “It’s Gonna Be A Beautiful Night,” while his “Let’s Go Crazy” has brought happiness to 15 million via YouTube. Prince died exactly four years ago, so expect his streaming numbers to rise on the anniversary.

Rock The Trouble Away: When times get tough, the tough get rocking. Think Elvis Presley, Nirvana, AC/DC, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, or Guns N’ Roses, if they make you punch the air. Bon Jovi has also popped up on fan playlists for COVID-19 tunes with “Livin’ On A Prayer” and “It’s My Life.” He declares: “I ain’t gonna live forever, I just want to live while I’m alive.”

‘On The Rise’ Pick-Me-Up Songs: Primal Scream has also been popping up on fans’ playlists with “Movin’ On Up” and “Loaded,” both off the album Screamadelica. Also recommended: “Up!” by Shania Twain and “The Only Way Is Up” by Yazz.

‘I Am The Greatest’ Music: Spirit-raising tracks include “We Are The Champions” by Queen, especially popular since the Bohemian Rhaposdy movie; “The Best” by Tina Turner; “So What,” by Pink; and “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga. Also recommended: “The Greatest” (Ringo Starr and Cat Power, two very different songs.)

Songs Relevant To COVID-19: “Don’t Stand So Close To Me“ by The Police has surged as lockdown became a reality, even though it is really about a school romance. Just because of the titles, “Splendid Isolation,” by Warren Zevon, “Isolation“ by Joy Division and “Isolation“ by John Lennon have all got extra plays, though none are particularly cheery.

The streaming and file-sharing sites also see boosts for defiant-mortality songs, really just based on their titles. Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” from 1978 has been a standout, an anthem for strength, with the singer taking to TikTok to rework it and inspire others to properly wash their hands.

“Stayin’ Alive” by Bee Gees and “Don’t Fear The Reaper” by Blue Öyster Cult have also added plays, as has “Stronger” by Kelly Clarkson, with its words “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

“Resistiré” (I Will Resist), originally by Dúo Dínamico in 1988, has been redone for 2020 and has had 19 million hits on YouTube. The equally defiant “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift is also the YouTube happy songs playlist, Natasha Bedingfield’s “Pocketful Of Sunshine” also raises spirts with its message “Do what you want, but you’re never gonna break me.”

More COVID-19 relevant titles boosting hits are “Work From Home” by Fifth Harmony and “Down With the Sickness” by Disturbed, which has surged 31% in digital song sales, according to Nielsen Music/ MRC Data; and “Quarantined” by At the Drive-In, which is up 70%.

COVID Spoofs: There are many memes out there but it is hard to fault Chris Mann with “My Carona,” spoofing “My Sharona,” and “Stay At Home Vogue,” parodying Madonna’s “Vogue.”

Songs In Response To The Virus: Not necessarily so bubbly are Bono’s “Let Your Love Be Known” and Randy Newman’s “Stay Away.”

A three-minute single won’t doesn’t erase the tragedy of COVID-19, its threat to jobs and economy but helps to lighten our load. As the record and radio-industry slogan says, “life sounds better to music.” Some relentlessly light tunes are madly irritating to some people and inspiring to others. Based on listening to 1,000 new albums a year and thousands of singles, here is a personal choice: “Reasons to be Cheerful, Part 3” by Ian Dury and the Blockheads; “My Favorite Things” from The Sound Of Music; “Pure” by The Lightning Seeds; “Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me)” by Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel; “Candy” by Paulo Nutini; “It’s Gonna Be Okay, Baby” by MUNA; “Song 2” by Blur; and “One More Time” by Daft Punk.

Maybe add to the playlist a few pieces of 1960s psychedelic pop such as “Itchycoo Park” or “Lazy Sunday” by the Small Faces; “Sugar Sugar” by The Archies or “Marrakesh Express” by Crosby, Stills and Nash. If you are making a playlist, hopefully these suggestions will help boost your “quarantune” spirits.

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Tags: Beatles, BTS, coronavirus, covid-19, happy music, lockdown, Madonna, quarantunes, Spotify, swift, Taylor, Taylor Swift, Youtube

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[pantton-sandacers]

Who would the Sanders Sides be as the Beatles?

Alright, everyone, this is gonna be a Long Post so buckle up.

I was thinking about which of the Sanders Sides would fit which of The Beatles, and this is what I came up with. Here we go.

Anxiety/Virgil as Ringo Starr:

1. Later addition to the group and lack of initial acceptance.

Ringo was added to the Beatles later than any of the other members, being the replacement for their former drummer, Pete Best. After Ringo was added to the band, many fans were outraged, and they made their voices heard.

After his appearance at the Cavern Club the following day, Best fans, upset by his firing, held vigils outside his house and at the club shouting "Pete forever! Ringo never!"[x] Harrison received a black eye from one of the upset fans, and Epstein, whose car tyres they had flattened in anger, temporarily hired a bodyguard to ensure his safety.[x]

Eventually, Ringo was accepted by fans as a member of the band and began receiving as much fan mail as the other band members, securing his place as a member of The Beatles.

By November 1962 Starr had been accepted by Beatles fans, who were now calling for him to sing songs.[x] Soon afterwards, he began receiving an amount of fan mail equal to that of the others, which helped to secure his position within the band.[x]

He was a source of inspiration for several songs written at the time, including Penny Valentine's "I Want to Kiss Ringo Goodbye" and Rolf Harris's "Ringo for President".[x] In 1964, "I love Ringo" lapel pins outsold all other Beatles merchandising.[x]

During live performances, the Beatles continued the Starr Time routine that had been popular among his fans: Lennon would place a microphone in front of Starr's kit in preparation for his spotlight moment and audiences would erupt in screams.[x]

Both Ringo and Virgil had later additions to their respective groups, a lack of initial acceptance, and eventual very wide acceptance from others.

2. Exclusion from their group.

As the Beatles’ music evolved, Ringo’s drumming wasn’t needed as often for their songs anymore, and he was eventually only getting one track per album, though he was content with that.

He was also feeling increasingly isolated from the musical activities of his bandmates, who were moving past the traditional boundaries of rock music into territory that often did not require his accompaniment; during recording sessions he spent countless hours playing cards with their road manager Neil Aspinall and roadie Mal Evans while the other Beatles perfected tracks without him.[x]

In a letter published in Melody Maker, a fan asked the Beatles to let Starr sing more; he replied: "[I am] quite happy with my one little track on each album".[x]

During the recording of Sgt. Pepper’s, Ringo wasn’t given as much freedom in how he could play his instrument, often being given specific instructions on how and what to play.

Although the Beatles had enjoyed widespread commercial and critical success with Sgt. Pepper, the long hours they spent recording the LP contributed to Starr's increased feeling of alienation within the band.

He commented: "[It] wasn't our best album. That was the peak for everyone else, but for me it was a bit like being a session musician ... They more or less direct me in the style I can play."[x][x]

His inability to compose new material led to his input being minimised during recording sessions; he often found himself relegated to adding minor percussion effects to songs by McCartney, Lennon and Harrison.[x]

The Beatles began to argue with one another as tensions rose between them. Paul criticized Ringo’s drumming, making Ringo leave the band and go on holiday for two weeks to get away from the other members.

During the recording of the White Album, relations within the band became openly divisive.[x] As the sessions progressed, their collective group dynamic began to decay; at times only one or two Beatles were involved in the recording for a track.[x]

Starr had grown weary of McCartney's increasingly overbearing approach and Lennon's passive-aggressive behaviour, which was exacerbated by Starr's resentment of Yoko Ono's near-constant presence.[x]

After one particularly difficult session during which McCartney had harshly criticised his drumming, Starr quit the band for two weeks, taking a holiday with his family in Sardinia on a boat loaned by Peter Sellers.[x]

When Ringo returned from his vacation, he found that George gave him a ‘welcome-back’ gift.

He returned to the studio two weeks later,[x] to find that Harrison had covered his drum kit in flowers as a welcome-back gesture.[x]

Both Ringo and Virgil were excluded by the other members of their groups and were often restricted in what they were allowed to do. They both took some time away from the other members, came back, and received kind gifts from one of the other members of the group. (George giving Ringo flowers and Patton giving Virgil a card.)

3. Other forms of subtle ostracization from peers.

Ringo was often joked about among the Beatles, but if you look at any given Beatles interview, you’ll find them joking about each other a lot, so Ringo was not a specific target of joking for the band, but I still included some of their interview moments from/about Ringo.

(source) [Image description: Reporter:”Is Ringo the best drummer in the world?” John:”Ringo isn’t even the best drummer in the Beatles.”]

(source) [image description: Interviewer:”Do you have any political affiliations?”  Ringo:”No, I don’t even smoke” *brings his cigarette up to his mouth*] I just felt like this would be a kind of thing Virgil would do.

Logic/Logan as George Harrison:

-The “forgotten member”

Each one of the Beatles has something memorable about them. For Paul and John, it was their huge roles in the band as the composers and singers on a majority of the Beatles’ songs. For Ringo, it was his large nose and his... difficulty singing. George, however, didn’t have much of a memorable trait about himself (until the later years when he became fascinated with Indian music and their culture.)

Often referred to as "the quiet Beatle",[x][x] Harrison embraced Hinduism and helped broaden the horizons of his fellow Beatles as well as their Western audience by incorporating Indian instrumentation in their music.[x]

The impromptu musical education Harrison received while playing long hours with the Beatles, as well as the guitar lessons he took from Tony Sheridan while they briefly served as his backing group, laid the foundations of his sound and of his quiet, professional role within the group; he was later known as "the quiet Beatle".[x][x]

George Harrison is similar to Logan in being, “the quiet Beatle,” as Logan was called, “the least popular character,” by Virgil.

Though I do hope that we, as fanders, can grow to appreciate logic more, and I can already see that happening with posts like this going around and with it currently being  Logic Appreciation Week.

Morality/Patton as John Lennon:

1. I am the Walrus

I’m sure many of you recall in the My Personality Q&A video, the sides were asked “How are you feeling right now?” and told to answer with only a song title. Patton answered with, “I am the Walrus,” a song by The Beatles, sung by John Lennon.

In a later Beatles song, “Glass Onion,” John Lennon sings, “Well here’s another clue for you all, the Walrus was Paul.”

Many believe this to be hinting to the famous, “Paul is Dead,” theory because Walruses are a symbol of death in some cultures, but it would take hours to cover the basic evidence for that theory so I will spare you from that rant.

This line is most likely referring to the cover of The Beatles Album; “Magical Mystery Tour,” and The Beatles’ movie of the same name, where The Beatles are dressed up in different animal costumes.

[image description: the cover of Magical Mystery Tour, showing the Beatles in different animal costumes.]

I realize the song lyrics said, “the Walrus was Paul,” and not John, but Paul was, in fact, not the true wearer of the Walrus Costume.

The Beatles Bible.com states that while it was claimed Paul wore the Walrus costume, John Lennon was the true wearer on both the cover of the album, “Magical Mystery Tour,” and in the movie of the same name.

It was later claimed that it was, in fact, McCartney in the walrus costume, and that this accounted for Lennon's line that "the walrus was Paul" in Glass Onion. However, the Magical Mystery Tour film clearly shows McCartney playing bass while wearing the hippo costume, and Lennon seated at the piano dressed as a walrus.

(Source)

2. Peace Activism

John Lennon is known for his work in bringing peace and love to this world. He was very anti-war and pro-peace. Which reminds me of how Patton always sees the good in people and always tries to do the right thing.

Lennon wrote and recorded "Give Peace a Chance". Released as a single, it was quickly taken up as an anti-war anthem and sung by a quarter of a million demonstrators against the Vietnam War in Washington, DC, on 15 November, the second Vietnam Moratorium Day.[x][x] 

In 1973, Lennon contributed a limerick called "Why Make It Sad To Be Gay?" to Len Richmond's The Gay Liberation Book.[x]

3. A Role-Model Status and Quick Wit

Paul stated in an interview that John was the leader, and someone they looked up to. Patton is also the “dad figure” that people look up to.

John was described as having “quick wit,” a trait Patton also possess, in making puns (believe me, your wit has to be quick to make a pun about a situation before it passes, I know.)

In a 1987 interview, McCartney said that the other Beatles idolised John: "He was like our own little Elvis ... We all looked up to John. He was older and he was very much the leader; he was the quickest wit and the smartest."[x]

Princey/Roman as Paul McCartney:

1. The Cute One

Paul was often referred to as “the cute Beatle” and Roman is the most looks-obsessed Sanders Side.

Their fans' hysteria became known as "Beatlemania", and the press sometimes referred to McCartney as the "cute Beatle".[x][x[x]

Paul has taken a selfie, something Roman has also done.

(Source) [image description: Paul McCartney taking a picture of himself in a mirror]

2. Creative Motivation

When the Beatles found themselves in times of trouble, Paul McCartney came to them, speaking words of wisdom, “Be Creative!”

That was really cheesy I’m sorry but I had to.

In instances where the Beatles were feeling depressed or down, Paul would always encourage them to keep up their creativity to continue their productivity.

Upon the end of the Beatles' performing career, McCartney sensed unease in the band and wanted them to maintain creative productivity. He pressed them to start a new project, which became Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, widely regarded as rock's first concept album.[x]

Epstein's death in August 1967 created a void, which left the Beatles perplexed and concerned about their future.[x] McCartney, stepping in to fill that void, gradually became the de facto leader and business manager of the group Lennon had once led.[x]

His first creative suggestion after this change of leadership was to propose that the band move forward on their plans to produce a film for television, which was to become Magical Mystery Tour.

3. Being Savage

Some of you may know about John’s second wife, Yoko Ono, and those of you who don’t, I envy you. Yoko was not liked by any of the Beatles, and she is known for being the main factor in the Beatles eventual breakup.

One, very savage thing Paul did during the recording of the Beatles’ song, “Get Back,” reminds me a Lot of something Roman might do.

In 1980, Lennon stated that "there's some underlying thing about Yoko in there", saying that McCartney looked at Yoko Ono in the studio every time he sang "Get back to where you once belonged."[x]

And that concludes this post! I hope you all appreciate all the time and effort I put into research for this. Thanks for reading! :)

[etherealellaelf]

So I just saw Cats 2019 and here are my thoughts:

(I’mma talk about the good and bad things) So I went into this movie both worried about the cursed design and also as a longtime fan of Cats: the Musical. I first watched the 1998 filmed stage production on PBS when I was a little girl, and then I revisited it when I was older and became a fan of all the colorful characters, the haunting music, and the great dance performances. It’s based on the Poetry book by T.S. Elliot “Old Possum’s book of Practical Cats”. Since it’s a poetry book, there is a problem: each poem about the cats doesn’t flow very well into a cohesive plot. So the new movie fixed that. Here are some other good things about the 2019 Cats movie: *spoilers*

(And before I start I was sitting beside an old woman who told me that she saw the very first stage production of Cats in London many years ago and she said to me in a very concerned voice after the movie was over, “It wasn’t THAT bad, was it?” I looked her in the eye and shook my head and I told her it wasn’t that bad. I didn’t lie. It was just a little bad. But my heart went out to her nostalgia.)

-Victoria is the main character now, so the audience is seeing the cats through her eyes. She’s our vehicle. That makes the songs that the cats sing introduction songs; they’re introducing themselves to us and Victoria.

-Like I said before, the plot is a lot more cohesive. The new script explains what jellicle cats are, the purpose of the jellicle ball, and who macavity is. They also added a ton of stuff, like Macavity kidnapping the other contenders to become the “Jellicle choice”, the cat that the leader will choose to be reborn(like, cats have 9 lives? It’s a bit weird, just go with it), because he wants to be chosen. Macavity didn’t really do this in the old one, this cements him as the villain. Also other cats like mungojerry and rumpleteazer and bombalurina are helping macavity. 

-I have mixed feelings that Grizabella is being shunned because she used to work for Macavity. It does give the other cats a better reason to hate her, but they don’t hate mungojerry and stuff. I’ll talk about that later.

-These new additions to the story made it a lot more palatable, but at the same time I like the old version as well. They’re both good. This one is just a lot more cohesive.

-All of the ballerinas, dancers, and singers were really good, and the acting was pretty good too, for people pretending to be cats. I thought taylor swift’s rendition of “macavity” was really good, and they brought a new facet to her character and the odious nature of the song, as it’s now a villain song and she is a villain.

-Tom Hooper as director. I really liked his style in Les Mis, and I guess it kind of worked here.  (Also I love you so much Tom Hooper I feel bad that this movie did so badly because I want you to succeed, you have a great style and vision and it really worked for Les Mis.)

-They left out that awkward *scene*. You know the one. The o-r-g-y scene. Good on them. Thank you. I read somewhere that it was there, but when I watched the movie, it was not there. I’m confused by some reviews saying it was there. It wasn’t there?!?!?!

Now let’s talk about what I didn’t like.

-The “cursed” design. Clearly everyone agrees with me about this. I forgot about it within the first ten minutes of watching. I really liked the look of Old Deuterotomy, who was a very fluffy, long-haired cat. That’s what made the old designs from the musical so memorable: the wigs were really big and poofy and the leg and arm warmers looked like fuzzy cat legs. The floofiness gave them character. Making all the cats shorthaired just made them look pretty naked, and I know they did this to accentuate the line of dance(it’s why dancers wear tight clothes), but they should have had fluffier cheeks, fluffier heads, and fluffier limbs. That would’ve prevented all the naked-looking cats. I understand the animators wanted to try something new, but they should’ve taken a page out of Sonic the Hedgehog movie’s book and redesigned.

-They totally changed Mungojerry and rumpleteazer’s song! It used to be a vaudeville production and it was so mischievous and fun. Now it just doesn’t have much tune. 

-They cut the Pekes and the Pollicles, the song where the cats are making fun of how clumsy dogs are. But I suppose it’s probably for the best. Lots of people like dogs nowadays. 

-Grizabella getting shunned because she used to work for Macavity??? The integral part of her character is just that she’s old. They should have made the Jennifer Hudson cat look a lot older, with greying fur and hair and stuff. The other cats shun Grizabella because she’s a reminder that they will die one day and she used to be beautiful and wonderful like them, once. It’s a big part of their character and despite them trying to explain and gloss over why everyone hates her, my friend who’s never seen cats was still confused. I wish they hadn’t said she worked for Macavity, but at this point it’s canon so who am I to question it.

-They totally cut Munkustrap and Macavity’s fight. 

-Although they cut out the weird scene, there was a really strange scene where all the cat’s tails quivered in the moonlight and they started just acting so strange. Then suddenly everyone started dancing! I could’ve done without the tail quivering.

-The cockroaches and at times, the mice, with their human faces, were a bit weird. Especially when Rebel Wilson ate some of the cockroaches. Also a bit weird was when she unzipped her skin, but it’s fine, she did that in the stage version, too.

-The Rum Tum Tugger did not need to catch Victoria’s foot the way he did, as it was really close to his mouth and it was just a really weird decision. 

-I’m sorry, but when the Cats rubbed their heads against each other’s heads, it was a bit weird. In the stage production, head rubbing is done very fast. It’s over with. It’s done. In this one they lingered and stared a lot. I guess real cats do that. But anyway. It’s whatever.

-Some cats wore clothes and took them off at points as well while other cats did not wear clothes. I think it actually was good that the train cat wore suspenders and the fat cat, Bustopher Jones, wore a top hat and evening jacket. It was charming for them. I don’t think Idris Elba’s fedora and trench coat needed to come off of his body at all. He should’ve kept them on. Just make his ears poke out of his hat or something. He totally looked naked.

-”Jellicle” is a weird word. There is a jiggly sound associated with it.

-The opening orchestral music is, at times, hit or miss. I personally like it because it sounds eerie and strange, sinuous and slithery, like how a cat do. It can come across as creepy though, especially during the song “The Naming of Cats”. In the stage production I can’t really watch because those cats all, as one, look at the audience, staring into my soul, and chant the song in one voice, and then they advance on the audience and it’s creepy but I guess it’s interesting. Idk how to convey in words. I am glad they cut that particular element about that song from the movie. 

Okay, now I’m going to address people who won’t give it a shot:

-Give it a shot. You forget about how they look like ten minutes into the movie. If you think about it as an arthouse film about dancers pretending to be cats, then it is enjoyable. 

-There was a lot of time, money, talent, and effort put into this production. All the ballerinas and other dancers are very passionate about their performance and it shows. 

-The animators for this movie were only given 7 months to model and do special effects for every single character on this movie, and there are hundreds of cats. Toy Story worked on its movie for 4 years. So I guess it’s easy to accuse the animators, but they were just doing their jobs; they weren’t given a lot of time to make the designs look fantastic, and they couldn’t deviate from what their art directors told them to do. I’m sure that some of them wanted to do the stage makeup and hair and whatnot, but you have to remember; the actors and director had no idea what the finished product would look like. Don’t blame them.

-Let’s just face it: Cats is a really weird concept to begin with. Andrew Lloyd Weber had some good ideas, like Phantom of the Opera, and he had kind of strange ideas, like Cats. It was really popular in the 70′s because the play has music that is very 50′s themed(note the malt shoppe that is a milk bar in the movie and Rum Tum Tugger is supposed to be like an Elvis character) and 20′s themed(the vaudeville Mungojerry, Rumpleteazer, and Macavity themes), so in its time, this show was a lot like Stranger Things for us. It was a nostalgia trip. And even amongst theater fans, there is a tiny niche who love Cats. This is not a huge fanbase. I liked it by accident, stumbling upon it by coincidence. I don’t understand why they put so much money into it knowing this. They should’ve cast much smaller celebrities and advertised much smaller, but we all know that Andrew Lloyd Weber is Mr. Moneybags and Mr. Outlandish, so of course he wanted to attract a younger fanbase to keep the spirit going for years to come. I, as a dance and musical fan, liked the stage production. I think if you’re willing to overlook the cringe, how a lot of the cats wear clothes and others don’t, and Idris Elba’s neon green contacts, you could like it. I don’t know. I’m not you. I just think this movie was made for certain people who like the old version of Cats, and they should’ve marketed it to them, and the reason why they tanked so hard is because they didn’t. They should’ve put them in stage costume and makeup and only CGI’ed some things.

-Maybe it would’ve worked better as an animated movie, where the designs for the cats was simply a cat who does ballet. It worked for the stage production because we used our imagination and we thought they were cats with emotions, personalities, attitudes. I think if you squint you can imagine this on this movie as well. But the thing is there was just too much backlash and nobody wanted to see it. Fame is dictated by social media these days, and if they meme you, you’re done. There’s really nothing you can do.

-The moral of the story is maybe see it, but if you don’t want to, don’t. But keep in mind Cats isn’t for everyone. It’s only for people who liked the Cats musical. So if you did, great, if you don’t, then you don’t have to see it.

[thehooliganhangoutspot]

parade.com Alison Abbey By ALISON ABBEY @awabbey He’s the man with the million-dollar smile and the heart of 24K gold. Bruno Mars has spent the past decade charming crowds, topping the charts and winning awards–he took home seven at the 2017 American Music Awards, including Artist of the Year—and now he’s paying his success forward. The multiplatinum-selling singer closed the Auburn Hills, Michigan, stop of his sold-out 24K Magic World Tour with the news that he (along with his tour promoter, Live Nation) had donated $1 million to the Community Foundation of Greater Flint, which helps children and families exposed to lead in the city’s water supply. “It’s just a heartbreaking situation,” says Mars a few months later, backstage at his Louisville, Kentucky, show. “People there are still suffering today. I just don’t want that to be swept under the rug. This happened to good people and their families and their businesses.” As for the decision to speak about his own good deed publicly, something Mars rarely does, he finds a way to make that about others as well. “I never talk about doing anything like that, and I just thought it would be really nice if the show was to kind of have that moment,” he says. “Hopefully everyone there could walk out of there feeling like they were a part of something great.” Being a part of something great is nothing new for Mars, the 32-year-old superstar known for hits like “Just the Way You Are,” “Uptown Funk” and “That’s What I Like.” Born Peter Hernandez (but nicknamed “Bruno” by his father as a toddler), he was raised in Hawaii in a family of entertainers. Mars was bitten by the showbiz bug early when he saw his uncle perform as Elvis onstage. An obsession with the hip-swinging showman was born, and little Bruno became the world’s youngest Presley impersonator at just 4 years old. (He even had a cameo imitating the King in the 1992 Nicolas Cage film Honeymoon In Vegas.) “As a kid, I didn’t know what he was singing about, it was just the fact that he got the girls screaming,” he says. “That’s what I was freaking out about, like, ‘Man, all I gotta do is shake my leg? I want to do that one day!’” The Family Business Elvis may have taught Mars how to be a heartthrob, but it was his father, Peter Hernandez Sr., who taught him how to be a star. “He was running the shows with a cast of 17 people,” he says of the senior Hernandez’s stage show, which included his mom, aunts, uncles and siblings. (Mars’ brother Eric is now his drummer.) “You don’t go onstage if your shoes aren’t spotless and your hair isn’t whipped and your gold isn’t shining enough, because the next band is going to come, and they might not even sound as good, but they’re the ones that are going to look memorable. That’s my dad’s school of rock.” Bruno graduated from that school, and at age 13, from the role of Elvis. “Since I was a little kid, that’s all there was—doing the show at night, going to school in the morning. It was like I was Batman. I had this secret identity at school,” he says. “It was an attraction. ‘Go see the little Elvis kid in his father’s show.’ I was that kid! Then you turn 13, and it’s not cute anymore. Elvis didn’t have pimples like that.” That’s when he discovered R&B music. “You’re going to school dances, and the girls are listening to Usher,” he says. “It was just like taking off the Elvis suit and singing R&B songs to girls.” A fan of legends like James Brown, Michael Jackson and Prince, Mars started looking to of-the-moment performers like Usher to expand his repertoire. That mix molded him into the artist he’s become. “That’s the bar—the highest level of entertainment. You’ve got to take cues from these guys who’ve set it,” he says. Becoming “The Man” Those early days onstage and years of watching VHS tapes of Jackson and Brown paid off when, at 18, he moved to Los Angeles and signed his first record deal. But the experience wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. Producers stepped in and tried to mold the young artist, who had his own ideas about image and sound. “I think that was the valuable lesson that I had to learn, that you’ve got to be in control. Me coming from Hawaii, where it whoever can just sing their ass off and kill it is the man. But it wasn’t like that [in L.A.]. My frustration with the record business was them trying to put me in a box, It’s like, ‘There’s pop radio, there’s adult, there’s rock. What are you?’ I’m like, ‘I don’t know!’ You don’t know who you are at 18 years old. Hopefully I’m just dope.” Mars took matters into his own hands. “It was just having to knuckle up and say, ‘I gotta do this on my own, because I can’t expect the record label to tell me who to be or what to be. I’m just going to write the songs that I’m extremely proud of.’” And that’s what he did. After landing his second recording contract (with Atlantic), he released his first solo album, Doo-Wops & Hooligans in 2010. His debut single, “Just the Way You Are,” and the follow-up “Grenade” both reached No. 1 on the Billboard charts, but as he started planning for his second album, Mars realized something was missing. “The first album was me just trying to write the best songs I could possibly write, but then I go on tour for the very first time. Now I’m singing these songs I wrote in the studio, and I’m like, ‘Man, we’re not moving enough!’ It’s such a big part of my upbringing—every time my band and I are in sound check, we’re dancing. So we gotta pick up the tempo.” That’s where his second album, Unorthodox Jukebox comes in. Hit singles like “Treasure” and “Locked Out of Heaven” allowed Mars (and his band, the Hooligans) to show off their skills. But he still wasn’t satisfied. Ever the showman—and harkening back to the advice he got from his father and the lessons he learned from his musical idols—Mars knew he had to take things one step further. “They need to see all of the attitude, not just the little glimpse. They need to know that I’m the man up here. That’s where ‘Uptown Funk’ comes in,” he says, referring to his 2014 collaboration with super producer Mark Ronson. The song, which is heavy on ’70s funk, sizzles with swag, thanks to lyrics like, “I’m too hot / Call the police and the fireman / I’m too hot / Make a dragon wanna retire, man.” The megahit spent 14 weeks at the top of the Billboard Hot 100 chart and certified Mars’ place in music as “the man.” And it showcased how Mars was able to take cues from the music he grew up with and make it his own. “I could sing almost any funk song over the music for ‘Uptown Funk,’ but have you ever heard ‘make a dragon wanna retire, man’?” he says, laughing. “It’s taking what you love and being able to spin it and make it feel like something no one has ever heard before.” He took a similar approach to his latest album, 24K Magic, a ’90s R&B-inspired opus that finally gave Mars the chance to sing, dance and be the man. Released in November of last year, the album was certified double-platinum and spawned hits like “24K Magic” and “That’s What I Like.” (Mars has amassed seven No. 1 songs throughout his career—and he attained the first five faster than any male artist since his original idol, Elvis.) “With this album, I really wanted to make a movie, based on a true story of this kid who’s in love with that feeling that ’90s R&B gave; how it was OK to dance and smile with a girl on the dance floor and sing to a girl.” That “movie” paints Mars—or a version of him—as a smooth operator, rocking Versace pajama-style shirts, gold jewelry and dark sunglasses, and wooing women with his clever turns of phrase and Casanova status. But all in good fun. “I saw the silky shirts and the gold chains, and I was dancing through Vegas,” he says of the persona he dons throughout the album. “For me, this one’s like, ‘All right, now let’s have some fun. Let’s flirt.’” Mars is having so much fun touring the album that he decided to turn it into a TV special. On November 29 at 10 p.m. ET, he’ll debut Bruno Mars: 24K Magic Live at the Apollo. The hourlong CBS special features performances at the legendary NYC theater (with an epic opening number atop the venue’s marquee) as well as throughout the streets of New York, as Mars and the Hooligans interact with passersby—“four days of running around Harlem,” performing every song on the album, as Mars puts it. “When you make an album, you want people to lose themselves in your world. It’s important that you know we’re the vessel,” he says. “I’m hoping that the special, once people see it, it’s going to even take it even further, and they’ll say, ‘He put together a show when he made this album. He was putting together this.’ They’ll understand where I am in life, and how much fun I’m having doing what I love to do.” Because the taping was a secret, audience members had to check their phones at the door, something Mars says changed the entire dynamic of the performance. “I’m like, ‘Why does this feel so different than everything I’ve done?’ People are dancing on the balconies and singing and so involved in the show that’s happening in front of them. Then it kicked in: They didn’t have their phones.” Mars says eliminating phones from a show creates a heightened level of engagement for the audience, and a heightened connection with whomever is onstage. “I say it every night: ‘Put your camera phones down and have fun.’ I remember how much fun I had [at concerts growing up]. Now you go and you’re not even taking pictures of the show—you’re taking pictures of yourself at the show! It’s The Twilight Zone!” Does it affect him to see people on their phones at a show? “A little bit,” he says. “The reason I wanted to do this is because of the feeling you get onstage in front of people. You are responsible for their night. You’re kind of this like DJ, and you’re conducting an experience based on the vibe in the room,” he says. “If everybody’s got a phone in front of them, you’re no longer looking at faces that are smiling or frowning or yawning.” The Man Who Keeps on Giving Mars wants to spread the love too. Giving back is more important than ever to the star, who once lived in a shack in the middle of a Hawaiian bird sanctuary. Beginning in 2014, he partnered with the Hawaii Community Foundation to offer Hawaii-based students scholarships to Grammy Camp, which allows high school students to learn all aspects of commercial music. This year, Mars, himself a five-time Grammy winner, opened up the scholarship to include students from all over the country. He also participated last month in NBC’s telethon for hurricane relief in Puerto Rico, One Voice: Somos Live! A Concert for Disaster Relief, where he took the stage to perform “Just the Way You Are” in English and Spanish. The cause is especially personal for Mars, whose father was born in Puerto Rico. “I’m extremely blessed that I am providing for myself and my family, doing what I love,” he says. “My dream came true, and more. If I’m in a position to help a cause that that breaks my heart, why wouldn’t I do that?” Life on Mars Favorite food: Sushi Last thing you cooked: Mac and cheese Last thing you listened to: A Cardi B song Binge-watching: Game of Thrones What do you miss most about Hawaii? The beach Favorite Michael Jackson album: Bad What do you miss most when you’re on the road? My bed. And my toilet. You don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone. Song you wish you’d written: “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley Song you wish you’d never written: I’m not walking into the Grammy’s going, “Remember ‘The Lazy Song’?”

[sassasquashedgrapes]

Another Story: A Glee x Kissed by the Baddest Bidder Cross-over

It’s me again! Your friendly neighborhood, Squashed Grape.  

It’s been a while since I got into the fanfic (or any literal stuff) and decided to do some fan service today.  This is an old post but a goodie.  You see, I’ve been a fan of Glee during the early days and was also a huge Otome player (lol. the closest to player I’ll ever be).  And made this fanfic cross-over of sorts inspired from the Voltage Inc story, Kissed by the Baddest Bidder.  Actually I *might* have switched the names a bit and the plot line is from the intro except for a few tweaks.  Anyway, I just wanna lay it all down there so nobody starts yelling bloody murder.  

After all, wasn’t 50 Shades like some fan service to Twilight, so haters can just move along now, Nothing to see.  

So without much further ado, a short story cross-over for y’all!!

By the way, be prepared for a series of long fanfics of Glee coming at your way. This is only just the beginning of the Hargreave brothers.

click below

Another Story: Kissed By The Baddest Bidder/Glee Fanfic.

I’ve always been a huge fan of the otome game and the delicious notion of having someone used up for bidding, using the Glee characters seemed absolutely too good to resist.  How could I? So shall we? Elian “Ian” Hargreave – Eisuke Ichinomiya Mike Chang – Soryu Oh, the cool mobster Noah Puckerman – Mitsunari Baba, the philandering theif Kurt Hummel – Ota Kisaki , the artist. Lol I know, Ota doesn’t swing that way but I always pegged Ota as a closet anyway. Cooper Anderson – Mamuro Kishi, the lazy detective and of course: Lucy Quinn Fabray – MC

Quinn Fabray is different in this storyline.  I made a parallel universe of sorts, changing a bit of her past to make her come to her present future.  So instead of moving to McKinley High, Lucy Q. Fabray’s father, Russel, dies of a heart attack and thus her mother remarries another man who worked as a hotel concierge manager in one of the most prestigious hotels in New York, the fictional hotel/casino Wyndham, (loosely based on the Waldorf Astoria) which is owned by then the family of Elian Hargreave’s grandfather who eventually takes over the hotel after graduating from high school.  Quinn has grown up in the hotel, pretty much understanding and loving every detail and aspect of it, treating it as if it were her own family since she pretty much lead a lonely life in New York, being a small town girl from Ohio who turned out to grow into a beautiful young woman.  This storyline is inspired by the Otome route of Eisuke Ichinomiya, whom I think was the best storyline for someone like her.  I’m way too biased that I don’t think I want to share Soryu Oh with her, hahaha.  Fast forward to the present, Quinn just graduated from Yale, but is now working he as a chambermaid in the hotel to earn extra cash at the same time pay for her college loans while she looks for a job.  

Prologue: As I feel a trickle of sweat behind my back while being in the middle of the spotlight, I start to wonder as I stare into the crowd facing me “how on earth did I ever come to this?”

12 hours earlier

“Good morning,” I greet cheerfully as I swing open the door in locker room of the female changing hall as if I’ve done so many times over.  I’m working during the summer as a maid at a hotel owned by the Hargreave Group, which is a large company that owns banks, trading companies, locally and overseas.  

“Good morning, Lucy,” greets Marley, one of the maids who also works part-time in the hotel.  I know for a fact that she looks old enough to still be in highschool, but I’ve never bothered to pry into matters like gossip. As long as they keep to their business, I keep to mine.  But despite it, I feel like I could confide in her because she seems so open and nice.

“The VIP convention starts today.  I am super excited,” Marley grins as she mentions one of the annual big events the hotel/casino throws.  

“I’ll bet you’d be way too busy to get excited since you’ll be working at the casino floor,” I grin back thinking how exhausted I’m going to be once this convention is over.  I’ve been living in the Wyndham since I was 15 after my dad died and my mother remarried.  I’d come to love it as if it were my own family and was familiar with its daily routine until 4 years ago when it underwent a massive renovation into becoming the first hotel/casino in New York.  It had been quite a scandal at first, with government officials opposing the idea of bringing “Las Vegas” to the metropolis, but the whole issue died down after a while and for the last two years, the Wyndham, became New York’s first legal casino and hotel.

“Don’t you wish you could work at the IVC?” Marley was referring to the International VIP Convention, one of the newly annual conventions frequented by Hollywood A-list stars, World leaders, socialites and big time businessmen who gathered once a year to play at the casinos and have a go into dabbling in a world of glamour

“Yeah, that would be great.” I agreed quietly.

“Well, that’s the goal of everyone who works here.” Marley sighed as she hunkered on the bench and rested her elbow on her knee as she propped her head on her hand.  “I’ve been dreaming about it ever since I saw it on TV. Seeing movie stars, top athletes, and other super famous people all over the world gathered here in this party.  I even heard Perez Hilton was so pissed that he didn’t get an invite.”  She pursed her lips conspiratorially.

“You know, when I applied for this job a few months ago, I didn’t think I was going to be hired that I thought I was dreaming when I actually did.” Marley grinned happily.  I smiled feeling how infectious her mood was, she was so upbeat by the whole thing, I didn’t want to look like a kill joy so I agreed.

“Oh my god.” She stopped suddenly as if she had thought of something of real importance.  “What if some rich, famous guy falls in love with me at first sight?” I hope he knows you’re barely 18, I mentally think and almost utter it out loud but I stop myself and….

“Haha, keep dreaming.” I just say instead.  

Whew, that was close. Our VIP guests are important, but I also value working for our regular guests, too.  I had just graduated in a Marketing degree at Yale, but with the recession, jobs were scarcely handed and I didn’t feel the need to dabble in doing freebies as an Intern in a big corporation, when I could be earning much more doing it here in Wyndham.  It really isn’t so bad.  I really didn’t care that much about image anyway since moving to New York.  Somehow the anonymity of it all had liberated me from the confines of the shallowness that I had experienced living in Lima, Ohio that I didn’t give a damn anymore.

I thought about the IVC, the International VIP Convention, Wyndham’s largest annual event is today and the international publicity with the media hanging around the area was totally insane. Unlike Marley, I had actually dreaded this more because I knew things were busier and a lot more tense than usual.  My step-father, Charlie was one of the managers of the hotel and was in charge of the VIP guests lounge and had direct connections to the owner, Mr. Elian Hargreave.  I heard a lot about the new owner, how accomplished he was despite his young age. He was featured in Forbes magazine as the most successful businessman under 40 years of age (rumors had it that he couldn’t be more than 30 years old.)  He reminded me of a true-to-life Bruce Wayne, ridiculously handsome in a dark, mysterious way and was always surrounded by beautiful women.  I knew my sister, Fran was crushing on him big time that she even begged Charlie for an introduction, but to no avail.

As we left the locker room and head to the hotel lobby, where a crowd of reporters and onlookers gathered, people whom I’ve only seen on TV or on a movie screen started appearing, strutting as if they were meant to walk down the red carpet and enter the magnificent lobby as if it were from a Hollywood movie scene.

“Oh. My God.” Marley’s mouth literally hung wide open.  “Look who just got out of that limo.”

I crane my neck and look around thinking that she just saw the famous TV actress who was in a popular teen show.  What was her name again?  Elena Davenport?  She was famous for being in this TV show about a love triangle between a vampire and a cyborg.  It was insane how people were shouting her name as if it were part of her entourage. She looked stunning with her black hair and her golden skin that had obviously seen the tropics recently.  She was then accompanied by an equally handsome young man who stood well over six feet tall and had a shock of black brown hair.

“That guy’s always on the VIP list.  They call him the King,” Marley whispers as if we’re in church.

“I thought that was Elvis,” I quipped chuckling at her disgruntled look.  I knew what she meant.  I wasn’t one to get caught up in celebrity gossip, but that King she was referring to was no other than the owner of the Wyndham, Mr. Hargreave.  He gallantly bowed offering his arm to Elena who gave him a dazzling smile as she took his arm.  Hanging on the other side of his arm was also someone famous.  I heard she was the new Broadway superstar and her name was Rachel Berry.  Behind him was another famous model who often graced those ads in Vogue and a famous British reality show actress.  

All the women around him are famous, I think dully as I look down in my frumpy uniform.  For some odd feeling I felt a pang of something that I couldn’t understand wash over me.  Before I had time to even think about it, Marley again interrupted my thoughts by whispering again on my ear.

“He’s been living in the penthouse suite for a while now.” “Of course he does, he owns the hotel.”

“But it costs tens and thousands of dollars to stay there for the night.” Marley argued.

“Maybe it’s a lot more convenient to keep tabs of work here than living on Park Avenue or at the East Side.” I shrugged watching as Mr. Hargreave pays no attention to the huge crowd and walks straight ahead.

I realize that I can’t take my eyes off him.  I’ve heard the how the female hotel staff would gush about how hot he was, but seeing him in the flesh just took my breath away.

“Aaaah!!!  Over here, Elian!!!” one of the women from the mass crowd screams holding a phone camera hoping to get a picture of him.

Suddenly, a group of women, thinking about doing the same thing start running towards him and bump into me and I feel myself being pushed right into the crowd and on to the red carpet.

SMACK!

I feel like I just hit a wall and close my eyes bracing myself for the pain to follow after the impact. Instead I feel a band of steel arms hold me close, as if to steady me from the madness.  I then pry my eyes open and find myself staring into a pair of steel gray blue eyes that were placed like jewels on a handsome chiseled face.

Mr. Hargreave!!

“Aah, I- I’m so sorry,” I stammered, feeling the rush of blood flow straight at my face and into my brain as I continue to look at him, almost mesmerized yet horrified by what had just transpired.  I still feel his arms around me and I could just tell that this multibillionaire really does work out because he’s practically hugging me right now.

“What do you think you’re doing?” a haughty voice belonging to the new Broadway ingénue pipes up beside Mr. Hargreave.  She sounds almost disgusted by the sight of me.  I can see from the corner of my peripheral vision that Elena Davenport was smirking as if amused by what was happening.  God, I didn’t think she was such a bitch until now.

But instead of voicing that sentiment out, I knew I had a job at stake and right now it was totally hanging in the balance.  I had just publicly humiliated myself in front of the owner of the hotel and his guests and was drawing unnecessary attention right now and it was more than I could honestly bear. I swallow and gather myself before bitchy Quinn Fabray comes out and try to mutter an apology again but am cut short by a curt, masculine and surprisingly sexy voice.

“Get out of the way,” Mr. Hargreave says as he suddenly pulls away from me, and pushes me not quite gently aside.

“What?” I mutter in disbelief as I lose my balance and fall flat on my butt to the ground.

Owwwww..

I look at slight disdain at the man who apparently was also my boss, but his muscular, tapered back was the only thing that could see that look on my face as I watch walk further away. He brushes off his suit as if he had just encountered a speck of dust and before I thought he had finally dismissed me, turns his head and shoots me a glare and then suddenly disappears into the casino hall.

I suddenly realize with a shock that I still had that look of displeasure on my face and grimaced as I rubbed my lower back, trying yet again to stead myself as the crowd disappeared into where Mr. Hargreave and his entourage were headed.  Marley quickly comes rushing over to my side.

“Are you okay, Luce?” She asks me, totally concerned as she called me by my nickname.  I haven’t been called Lucy for a while, I had been using Quinn since I had come to New York, but somehow there was a comfort in still being known as Lucy while here in the confines of the Wyndham.

“Yeah, my butt and my pride are fine,” I say.  

“Oh my God.  Mr. Hargreave caught you in his arms.  I am so totally jealous!  Did he smell nice?  Was he really as buff underneath that suit as they say?” Marley was acting like a puppy dog fawning over that jerk.

“I don’t know, I don’t even r-remember,” I lied because I had just mentally scratched Elian Hargreave off as a completely cold, aloof, unfeeling human being.  The nerve of that man!  He didn’t even bother to defend me while I, one of his staff members, was berated by that Broadway bitch Berry.

Hmm.  That had a nice ring to it.  I feel tons better knowing that the girl could have used a plastic surgeon as good as the one who did my nose.  

Come to think of it, Elian Hargreave was actually pretty frightening.  I’ve seen how New Yorkers glare sometimes, but that cold look was totally at subzero levels worthy of the Artic.

I smooth out my clothes and hear the click clack of high heels behind me.

“Just what were you thinking, making a fool out of yourself?” a cold, voice tinged with an Italian accent snapped me back to reality.  “And in front of such important guests and even the owner of this hotel?”

“Miss Thelma, “ I say coolly plastering a smile at one of the hotel managers.  Thelma Caparano has been on my ass since the day I started working at the Wyndham when she found out I graduated with honors on my Marketing degree from Yale.  Perhaps it was that and because I’m Charlie’s kid that she thinks I deserve to be more ill-treated than a worn-out mule from a third world country.  She stands imposingly before me, all dressed up in her expertly tailored uniform as she clacked impatiently on her Prada heels waiting for me to answer her.

“I’m sorry, Ma’am.  It was an accident…”

“You are at fault for not paying attention to what’s going on around you,” she clucked her tongue at me, looking at me disapprovingly under those heavy glasses that framed her would-have-been pretty-if-she-wasn’t-such-a-bitch face.  She was probably a few years older than me, but the harshness of her demeanor just made her look like petulant and almost bratty for a woman in her mid-thirties.

“Aren’t you in charge of the regular guests, Fabray?” She asks with a smirk on her face.  

Oh boy, she does enjoy torturing me.  

“You have no business even being here in the lobby.  Not unless you get promoted to handling the VIP guests.  But you won’t get that chance, would you?  Not even if you begged your stepfather.” She laughed as if she had just thought of that joke and it was funny.

Ugh.  I am totally so close to slapping her but instead I reply setting my gaze downcast hoping that she won’t see me seething as I meekly reply “Yes, Miss Thelma.”

“Well, since you’re here,” she motions to one of her hotel assistants who was following her like a dog who hands over a box as she shoves it towards me. “Go to every floor and drop off these announcement letters while you’re at it.  These are for the guests who wish to avail of the spa promo package we are having in honor of the IVC.”

“Okay,” I say since arguing about doing a herculean task is going to go nowhere anyway since this angry vampire is out for my blood.  She’s always been a bully and since I would never dared complain of this to Charlie even though I could have, I decide I might as well just shut up and deal with it. I turn and nod to Marley, saying my goodbyes and head towards the elevators.  

As I walk by, I see a man, about my age arguing with a young woman about something in front of the elevator. The woman is wearing a dress that looks like something from the recent Fashion Week runway as she throws a mask at the man at the same time spewing a litany of curses in fluent French.

“Connard!!  Baise toi!” she screamed as the man looked back in her as if in shock.  “You lying, cheating scum!  I never want to see you again.”  With that, she gave him a resonant slap in the face for added effect before she walked out of the hotel.

This is awkward.  I turn my attention instead to the mask that looked as if it were something one wore to a masquerade ball.  I suddenly got an image of 50 shades of Grey and find myself  staring at the mask lying on the floor.  I was about to pick it up when the man who was slapped earlier moves quicker than I could and in a blink of an eye was brushing it off as if were the only precious thing that mattered to him.

Wow, his hands were fast like those of a magician.  I turn to look at him and realize that he wasn’t bad looking either.  He was of above average height and was muscularly built, but a bit thicker than Mr. Hargreave.  He also had dark hair and had the most dazzling pair of emerald green eyes I’ve ever seen.  I couldn’t tell what his hair was like underneath that Fedora hat that just made him look like the epitome of 1920’s gangster cool in a modern way.

Fedora Hat sighs dramatically.  “Great, now I don’t have a date.”  He says as if talking to himself then realizes I’m watching him.  When our eyes meet, I quickly look away self-consciously because I didn’t want him to know that I had been caught staring at him.  I try to act cool despite the awkward tension but know that he saw me witness the whole thing.

“You saw that, didn’t you?” He smirks, as if reading my mind.

“Yeah.  I-I’m really sorry.”  I backed away slowly as if avoiding being pounced by some agitated animal.

“Aw, come on. Don’t run away,” Fedora Hat laughs as he gently takes my arm as he leads me towards the elevator, completely ignoring the fact that I’m in the hotel maid’s uniform with a box of undelivered fliers on the other arm. “I’ll explain everything when we get there.”

“S-Sir?”

Before I know it, the man ignores my protests and continues to guide me, half-dragging me into the elevator with him.  We’re alone in the elevator and to be honest, this is the first time I’ve been to the basement area.  I’m surprised that the basment’s elevator looks just as elegant as the regular floor elevators.  It sort of reminded me of going into a secret lair of some evil villain but at the same time being cooped inside a glass bird cage of sorts.  I tried to avert my attention to the man beside me and look instead at the buttons of the elevator as the blinking lights affirmed our descent to the unknown.

“Whew!  I’m lucky I found you,” Fedora Hat grins at me, still holding onto my arm having no intention of letting me go.  His grip isn’t painful nor in any way gentle, but it’s firm enough to hold me into place.  As if wanting to distract me from thinking of it, he adds “coz there’s no way I could go to the party without a beautiful woman on my arm.  That would be a total buzzkill.”

Buzzkill?  Who says that sort of thing these days?

“Party?  You mean, the IVC?”

“The One and Only. Isn’t it obvious how I’m dressed?” He opens one free arm to show his expensive Italian cut suit.  Definitely Armani now that I got a closer look. And definitely custom made as it fits him perfectly.

“I-I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean that you—“

“Hahaha.  I’m kidding, babe. Man, you’re kinda uptight for a pretty thing.  Were you raised in some Christian Bible thumping school or something?”

“Uh, that’s because I work at this hotel,” I say slowly almost as if trying to hint that I’m still in my maid’s uniform, completely ignoring the fact that he’s actually right about me being Christian.  “So technically, I can’t go with you to the party as your date, sir.”

“What are you talking about? The reason why that woman earlier left was so you could be my date, Lucy.” He smiles in the most seductive, sexiest way possible as he finally noticed the name plate on my uniform.

Whoa, this one’s pretty dangerous.  And a hopeless flirt as well.  I try not to show my fear when grabs my chin and lifts it up to meet his face as he peers down, bringing it closer to mine.  I can feel his breath grazing against me as he looks into my eyes.

“Definitely my type. Angel blonde hair, mesmerizing green eyes, and luscious lips…” he trails on softly as I sort of feel his face coming closer.  He moves way to fast and I try to squirm away, backing off thinking now I understood perfectly why he got dumped in the first place.

DING! Saved by the bell of the basement floor. The elevator arrives at a full stop at the ballroom and Fedora Hat quickly backs off  and casually straightens himself as if nothing of importance was about to take place.  He could even care less whether he kissed me or not.  Jeez.

“Let’s rock and roll, Princess.” He  announces and gives off a broad smile as if putting on a game face.  And contrary to his calm demeanor, he drags me out into the ballroom before I can protest as I’m lead into the glamorous ballroom that reminded me from a scene of a Hollywood movie.

I gaped in awestruck fascination, marveling how I could have possibly missed out the new renovations at the Wyndham.  The renovations had still managed to maintain some of the old architecture, paying detail to preserving its original Art Deco state, but added with contemporary minimalist design, it’s mixture was astounding and beyond words.  I had no means of any background in architecture, but this was like walking into the Hall of Fame on architectural immortality. I was shocked that everyone present were almost nonchalant of the genius behind the design and how lavishly decorated the ballroom was to the point that even the catering was handled in the most A-list of ways.  I turn my attention to the gorgeous Swarovski crystals that were adorning the chandeliers that were hanging from the high ceiling.  

The entire floor was jam-packed with the rich and famous that I wasn’t even sure if I was hallucinating because it was too much sensory overload to be true.  I turn my head and notice Cristian Renaldi, the famous World cup soccer player from Spain to my right.  And that’s the famous Hollywood actress, Julie Moore.  And even the former President of the United States is over there?  I feel like Alice in Wonderland being wrapped around the surrealness of it all being around these celebrities that it takes me a moment to get back to earth and finally notice that Fedora Hat who had dragged me here in the first place was gone.

Huh?  Where’d he go?

Suddenly, I hear a womanly voice from behind me.

“Hey, do you have any champagne?” I turn around and am surprised that it wasn’t a woman, but a young man with an angelic face whose skin was as flawless as fine bone china. He had soft, brown hair and bright blue eyes.  He looked so familiar because his face was on the cover of this month’s issue of People Magazine being tagged as one of the 25the most beautiful People of the World of this year.

“K-Kurt Hummel!!!” I gasp, recognizing the mega hyphenate National artist/ Pulitizer prize winning Children’s Novelist/ Socialite.

“Oh, you know who I am.” He smiles brightly, happy to have been recognized in a sea of famous faces. “Thanks!”

“I-I’m sorry, I’ll look for the champagne now.” I mumble apolitically frantically looking for a bottle of Dom Perignon and Mr. Hummel chuckles behind me, as if thoroughly amused.

“You sure you work here, Alice?”

“P-Pardon?”

“You remind me of Alice in Wonderland when she fell down the rabbit hole and stumbled into the Mad Hatter’s party.” He moves away from me and reaches over the table behind me and lifts a bottle of Moet et Chandon and pours himself a glass.  He then thrusts his newly refilled glass towards me nudging me to take a drink.

“Here. You could use one more than me,” he grins.  I was about to protest but there was something harsh in his eyes telling me not to defy him as I emptied my glass.

“T-Thanks,” I was about to take the bottle and refill his glass for him when he shakes his head and takes the glass from my hands and pours himself another.

“Now, go on to doing whatever it was and I hope you get back home safely, Alice,” was all he says as he raises his champagne glass, giving me a wink of good luck for whatever it was I was about to partake.  He leaves with a wave.

He definitely was spot on about what I was feeling right at that moment.

I should definitely get out of here before I cause any more trouble.

But before I do, another man stops me from my tracks.  He’s over fifty, overweight, and perhaps a bit slightly drunk as he grins at me and grabs my hand. Ugh, he also seems really sleazy. “Aren’t you a pretty one?” He slurs and I inwardly flinch from the smell of alcohol and sweat coming from him.  “You wanna come with me and give me room service? I’ll make it worth your while and give you a big tip afterwards.

Ewww.  His head is shaped like an egg and his pock-marked face is flushed as he looks me up and down.

“I’m sorry, sir but we don’t offer that kind of service here.” I answer politely, knowing that we had been trained beforehand on how to deal with rude perverts like this guest.

He completely ignores me and starts going on how rich he is and how much is net worth is.

To be honest, it wasn’t really much.

He then slips his arm around my waist and is about to pull me towards him when…

“This party just got really trashy.” A familiar masculine voice announced icily.  I turn my head towards my savoir and realize that it’s Mr. Hargreave.  He ignores my gasp of surprise and scowls at the sleaze holding me.

“I’d rather appreciate it, sir, if you kept your attention from the hotel staff and settle instead for the bevy of beauties surrounding you,” Elian Hargreave  grinned sardonically nodding his head towards a group of runway models who flirtly waved back.  And just when I thought he couldn’t intimidate the sleazebag, he looked at me as if I were a piece of trash marring the ambience and added cruelly. “Besides, you could totally do better than THAT.  This one’s hardly a raving beauty.”  

“I-I’m really sorry, Mr. Hargreave, sir!  Pardon me!!!” Sleazebag bows apologetically quickly letting go of me as if he had been burned and kept his distance from me like I was infected with Ebola or something. He furiously wipes away his sweat and runs off.

“T-Thank you, Mr. Hargreave,” I say, totally ignoring the pain that he had brushed me off as a ugly and unattractive.  But then again, men like him are probably used to just dating models that even ingénues were all blasé for him.  

“Let’s go, Elian,” one of the pretty models whom he nodded to a while back approached him and casually hooked her arm around his, totally ignoring me.

“I can’t stand people who don’t know their place,” another one of those long legged giraffes piped in hooking her arm around his other free one as if she were about to die in a desert and he was her oasis.

As if he didn’t even acknowledge my existence and hadn’t even heard me, he turned his back as if nothing had ever happened a few minutes ago before being led away by the Amazonian Brazilian bimbos.  He starts walking still surrounded by women and I’m completely overwhelmed as I watch him walk away.  I suddenly notice a purple handkerchief on the floor behind him.  I remember this being a part of his suit and realize that he dropped it.

Almost without thinking, I picked it up and started going after him.

“Uhm, sir! Excuse me, I think you dropped this—“  I try to chase after Mr. Hargreave but he gets lost in the crowd and I can’t seem to find him.

Oh, wait!  There he is!!

I make my way through the crowd and follow him as he makes an exit to the far end of the ballroom.  

A long, deserted hallway stretches out behind the door that Mr. Hargreave enters.

“Wait.  Where did he go?”

There are several doors on either side of the hallway and I didn’t catch up with him in time to even know which doors did he enter.  However, I hear voices coming from the far end.  But somehow, as I strain to hear from the distance I get the feeling the conversation wasn’t even in English.  I shake my head, thinking that I really have to return this handkerchief back to Mr. Hargreave, I strengthen my resolve and make my way towards the door where the voices were coming from.  I note the door is slightly ajar, which explains why I could hear them.  I peek through the gap and see several briefcases lying on a table surrounded with guns and large sums of money being packed by three Asian looking men dressed in all black discussing where to put the money in perfect Cantonese and before I could see more, I feel a large hand grab me by the shoulder and roughly pulls me away, swinging me around and forces me up against a wall…

Fear and surprise of being caught seeing something I shouldn’t have take over that I feel like I just might have suffered my first heart attack.

But unfortunately, that doesn’t happen.

Instead, my heart starts pounding again in fear as I’m facing a tall, Asian man of slim, yet muscular build with broad shoulders and powerful muscles who is now glaring at me and asks in in slightly cold, yet scarily threatening voice.  His hair is slicked back and even though I know he’s actually quite good looking, I’m paralyzed with fear to hardly even notice.

“What are you doing here?” He demands as he pins me against the wall as his sharp eyes look at me.  

Oh dear, God.

It happened so suddenly my body starts to tremble as I start to realize that maybe he is one of those gun men and those men aren’t just hotel guests.  But Mafia?  Triad?

What on earth should I do?

I breathe and swallow but it’s way too hard to even do so.  Instead I focus on his face and answer.

“I-I- w-w-ork h-he---“ He completely ignores me and says instead, “you’ve got give seconds to walk away, disappear and forget everything you just saw. Got it?  Otherwise, I’d hate to think what would happen to you after.” He also said it in a way that sounded like he was talking to a five-year old.  A not very bright one at that too.

I nod wordlessly over and over, desperate to get away and he immediately lets me go.  I run so fast my legs get tangled up with each other at first and don’t even think of where I’m headed.  I just run to the point of exhaustion and find myself at the basement storage room. I close the door behind me and try to catch my breath, relieved with the fact that I have just barely escaped with my life as I offer a silent prayer and make the sign of the cross in complete gratitude that the scary Asian Mafia guy just let me go.

I ruminate over the thought of how it was possible for the Triad, one of the notorious Asian Mafias could be tied up to an event like the IVC? Were those guys even part of the Triad? Maybe they weren’t even mafia.

Get a hold of yourself, Fabray.  Keep it together.   I have just realized right at this moment I had actually lost the box of flyers I was holding earlier.  I wasn’t sure if I had lost somewhere from that struggle between me and Fedora Hat, or that Mad Hatter encounter with Kurt Hummel, or even with the Middle Aged Sleazebag .  I try again to get my body to function properly as I compose myself thinking over again where I had last left it and realized that it was on the table where I had been with Mr. Hummel.  

Just as I swing the door open, I hear a loud crashing THUD.

The door I just swung had collided into something and I could hear a group of men scream “Watch out!!!”

I see two mean-looking men peeking at the other end of the door looking helplessly as the box they were carrying drops to the ground.

“Shit!  That was the Winged Victorian Angel!”

Oh no.  I remember from the news that this 300 year old museum artifact was meant to be raffled off as the grand prize at the IVC.  It had been shipped all the way from the Louvre in Paris as a gift from the newly elected French President to the United States. The proceeds of the IVC’s funding and the raffle were meant to help the victims of Typhoon Haiyan somewhere in the Philippines.

I quickly open the crate box and find the statue was broken in half and my heart just drops to my stomach in nameless shock.

I am way too shocked to even mutter an apology.  Not only did I just destroy what might have been a National Treasure, millions of homeless Filipino children were going to starve and suffer.

“Hey, this was a very important piece that was going to be auctioned off.”  The slim mean-looking guy barks at me, ignoring my shocked state. Did he just say auctioned?  Didn’t he mean it was going to be raffled?

“How are you gonna pay for this?” Asks the Fat Meanie beside him.

“Uh…..Sorry?”

“You think an apology is gonna cut it?  You owe us, bitch!”  

The men reach out to me and….

 ……………..

 And I find myself being auctioned off.  The host of the eveing had just announce d that the next bid was me, a healthy fit young Caucasian American.

 Is this even legal?  I think as I swallow in fear hearing the bids knock from $2 million to higher.  I got put up in place of that Winged Victory Angel.

The mere fact that someone just started the bid off at $2 million was unreal.

I could barely make through the crowd as everyone was wearing masks similar to the masquerade mask Fedora Hat had with him when his date dumped him.  But somehow I felt with a sinking dread that the person who placed the initial bid was the Middle Aged Creep from before.  Oh crap, is he really going to buy me?  I definitely do NOT want that at all.

“$2 million, going once……going twice……”

I heard the announcer say that I’d be a slave, or a toy, or……God knows.  This is horrible.  I try to shake myself off this nightmare, but I know what I’m going through right now was just as real as everything that partook 12 hours ago.

Oh God, how did I get to this?  I fall to my knees, hang my head in shame as I feel the tears well in my eyes start to overflow.

I start praying hoping that Charlie, or my Mom or Fran could find me before it’s too late…..

Just then….

The auction hall suddenly buzzes with commotion as the announcer stops from closing the deal.

“Seat number 100 with a bid for $20 million cash.”

The crowd is drawn into complete silence.  

I peer through the gates to look for 100, but whoever was bidding was not in the crowd.  All I could do was stare up at the sum of the winning bid, completely dumbfounded as a  bell sounds, calling the auction to a close.

“Sold to Seat Number 100 for $20 million.  Thank you!!”

Someone bought me for twenty million US dollars?

My cage is carried over to the edge of the stage.  As I get off, I’m greeted by two masked men.  They weren’t the mean jerks from earlier but something about them looks vaguely familiar.  One of them looked to be wearing a Fedora Hat.

Fedora Hat bought me? Before I even get the chance to ask, Fedora Hat in the mask grabs my arm and says” This way….”

Wait, what the heck am I being so nervous for?  At least it’s Fedora Hat who bought me and not that Middle Aged Creep.  But where are they going to take me now?

And who bought me?

I feel totally numb from this crazy situation that I don’t even notice that I’m brought up into the penthouse.

I gasp in marvel looking at my surroundings, knowing that out of all the hotel employees, only Charlie and a few other managers were ever allowed to come up here.

Wait, speaking of Charlie, does he even know about those weird auctions happening at the basement?

“We brought her, boss.” Fedora Hat announces to the man in the immaculate tux seated on one of the elegant sofas.  Like Fedora Hat and the other man,  he was also wearing a mask, but something about him looked made me sense that I’ve also encountered this man before.  Even the other man seated beside him also with a shock of black hair was also wearing a mask also seemed vaguely familiar.

“Wait.  You’re----“

“We bought you,” Mr. Hargreave says indifferently, removing his mask as if he didn’t even hear what I was about to say.  The other man beside him followed suit.

“Guess we did end up seeing each other again,” the Asian Mafia guy remarks in the same casual, yet cold tone.

“You know this woman, Mike?” Hargreave raises his eyebrow almost as if in disbelief.

“You can say that.” He shrugs, not really giving a toss.

“Wait.  You bought me?  In that auction”  I stammer, trying to still make sense of it all.

“He means WE won you, Alice.” Kurt Hummel corrects as I turn around in disbelief as he removes his mask as well.

“For $20 million, Princess. The boss must have it bad.” Fedora Hat grins as he casually throws his mask and lays it on the next empty sofa.

“M-Mr. Hummel?” I squeak, not sure if I was asking if Fedora Hat was referring him as ‘the boss’ or if I was just asking a reaffirmation that I knew at least another familiar but friendly face.

“Pffft!!! She doesn’t even know you’re name, Puck.”  Kurt laughs.

“That because I didn’t have the time to tell her,” the man named Puck crosses his arms as if he were a pouting kid who wasn’t included in a game of tag.

“Isn’t this some form of human trafficking?  I shouldn’t have even been up for that stupid auction in the first place.”

“Hey, anything and everything’s for sale at that auction.” Puck grins matter-of-factly, completely oblivious to the fact that I had stated it being against my own free will.

“Absolutely,” Kurt agrees. “You can buy almost anything there. Like stolen art, government secrets, and even hire a hitman!”

“That was last year, wasn’t it?” Puck asked as I noticed that he and Kurt were the only chatty ones in the group while the other two men watched silently.

“Anyway, this was the first time anyone was sold off in the manner of fashion you had earlier,” Kurt says tilting his head as if trying to understand what was really going on. “You must have done something really bad to put yourself up there, huh?”

“Well…….I accidentally broke the Winged Victory Angel….” My voice trails off and I realized that something wasn’t right here.  Wait a minute, weren’t they just talking about selling black market things in a legal casino that by the way just happens to be in a highly publicized area? Was this even legal at all?  “Who in the world would approve of these things?   Do the police even know?”

“Well, to answer question number one.  I did approve of it.” Mr. Hargreave says as if bored by this whole conversation.

“What?”

“If it’s worth anything, it’s here.” Hargreave scoffs and laughs coldly.

“Reckless as always,” Mike shakes his head.  “This woman isn’t even worth anything.”

“Think about it for a moment,” Hargreave looks at me up and down as he folds his arms looking at me as if he were the predator toying with his prey.  “Won’t it be fun coming up with ways to use her?”

“What gives you the right to decide that?”  I ask exasperated.

“Who gave you permission to speak?” Hargreave asks coldly, merely raising an eyebrow.

“Huh?”

“Not another word unless I. SAY. SO.” Hargreave says, savoring the last three words, enunciating them slowly as if threatening me to not disobey him.

“If you’ve got a problem, we could always send you back to be auctioned off.” Mike sneers as if finding this even more amusing.

These guys are so scary. I’d rather die first than be sold off again.

I shake my head looking at both men, pleading them that I won’t disobey.

“Come on Boss……Mike……You two should be nice to the girls,” Puck quips, trying to lighten the mood, but honestly it fell a bit flat.  Not that I’d feel better either way.

“We need to figure out who gets to keep her,” Kurt says, as if now he’s the one who was bored by the whole turn of the conversation.  Though he acts as if he wants everything finalized, I get the feeling that he’s not entirely happy with the idea of having me for a slave.  In fact, he looks rather…….reluctant.   I’ve heard rumors that Mr. Hummel was gay, but I didn’t think now would have been the best times to actually confirm that.  So instead I ask the second question that’s been nagging me.

“What do you mean, who gets to keep me?  Didn’t you all buy me?”

“Yes, that’s true. But that’s really not your concern now.” Puck says.  “If I were you, I’d choose me.  I’m the only good guy here, so you can rest easy.”

“Says the world-famous thief and con-artist,” Elian Hargreave snorts derisively.

“Now, now Elian, you’re just trying to make Puck look bad.” Kurt says as if coming to his friends defense. “You’ve already got tons of groupies, why don’t you just play with one of them and let the rest of us have our fun?”

And to think I thought Kurt Hummel was safe because I assumed he was gay.

Guess again, batman.

“Mike Chang’s the one who could have his pick,” Hargreave threw a smirk towards the cool Asian mobster guy’s direction.  “Women would do anything to be the lover of a Hong Kong mobster.”

So he really was part of the Mafia.

Who ARE these people? I’m speechless but I try to pull myself together and try to shake some last-minute common sense in them.

“Human trafficking IS illegal, you know.  I’m going to report this to the police and I don’t care who you are.”

“You see a cop anywhere?” Elian Hargreave throws his head as if calling out to no one in particular. I follow his gaze and see a worn-out looking man standing by the window smoking a cigarette.  He looks to be the older of the bunch, probably around 35 in age. Rather good-looking, in fact he sort of reminds me of that guy who plays a thief on TV except that he looks disheveled and hasn’t shaved in a week.

“Damn it, don’t just blow my cover like that,” he groans as if he didn’t even want to be a part of this conversation.

“Better now than later, right Detective Cooper?” Kurt giggles as if enjoying himself.

“Shut up, Hummel.”

“Oh, don’t be so mean. Just because I’m dating your brother doesn’t mean you have to be so rude.”

“Wait, you’re a cop?” I ask incredulously, ignoring the fact that Kurt Hummel just confirmed he was openly gay.

“Yup.”  Apparently, the Detective spoke the fewest words possible.

I seriously CAN NOT believe that even the police are in on this.

“Well, it looks like we’re not going to reach a decision any time soon.” Kurt announces, really emphasizing on the obvious.

“Well Boss, at times like these….” Puck begins but Elian Hargreave cuts him off immediately.

“Right. I don’t want to waste anymore time.” Hargreave nods and stands up with Mike Chang following suit. All the men except for the Detective stand up and saunter over to me with Mr. Hargreave standing in the center of the group with his arms crossed looking down at me with cold eyes.

“Make a decision,” he says. “I’ll let you choose who buys you.”

---END---

Elian Hargreave.  Be ready to hear more of another Hargreave, Elian was just the prototype of my OC in the next series of fanfics.