#i know i can use my cousins bday as an excuse and i really do want to see her bc its been nearly a year but i feel bad snubbing a friend

[troutpopulation]

can I tell u bday drama OK thanks (pt 1)

Hi reddit so I've had the same 3 friends for 17 years Megan (bestie) Sophia (the issue) and Dani (lives out of State)

Sophias got 2 bad habit 1 of which is canceling plans the night before or day of. 2 she gets off on the attention she gets from overworking herself into burnout and we've been urging her now for 4 years she needs to cut the shit out and worry more about her health than DnD.

So on homestuck day I got kidnapped, drugged with coke and SA'd in thr back of a car and the next day we were supposed to go to her family's boat, which she canceled and instead invited us to her mom's house. After finding out while I was in the hospital what happened to me she canceled entirely and I found our later it wasn't from a "headache" it was so she didn't miss DnD.

2 months go by and she never makes an effort to see me, and let's the gc know she's been going to parties and involved in her friends ex drama. The day were all supposed to fly up to Seattle for Dani's graduation is approaching and Sophia says hey I'm in town come hang! I say no, and fake being busy. Next day she says hey I brought the friend I've been wanting u to meet for 3 years! And I realise if I don't go, my first time seeing her will be in Seattle and I don't trust her not to make a scene when she realizes I don't fucking like her anymore.

So I go, I'm not rude but when they both tell me she drives through my town, stops at her mom's place which is 3 mins from my house, and drives another 45 mins to his house on a biweekly basis I'm like. Sophia I'm incredibly disappointed that we haven't hung out and you always say it's too far to come see me. Otherwise, hangout goes without a hitch and the guys really fun.

The next day, Megan calls me after class and says that Sophia told her she's been isolating for months and that's why she hasn't seen me or anybody and her parents are fighting and she dropped out of classes and she's been stressed so we should talk about this BEFORE Seattle. I told her that's funny because before I said anything about her not seeing me for a while she was talking about the parties she had been to just like 2 weeks ago. And how she's been driving to see this boy. But yes I will talk to her. Megan's like Interesting...

I call Sophia and she immediately starts profusely apologizing and giving the same explanation she gave Megan, I point out the inconsistencies and she starts freaking out and making more excuses like she dropped out of 3 extracurriculars and only has a few left which like. I didn't say but why do you have more than 4 extracurriculars. She then starts talking about all of her problems and then doubles back and says she didn't say anything to me and ghosted bc she didn't want her problems taking the forefront and I was like when has that ever been a thing. As a group, shit TENDS to happen to us all at once. I was getting stalked, her dog died, and Megan's car got totaled while she was dealing with taking her cousin to court for CSA/incest AT THE SAME TIME. And we all, as we've done for 17 years, got through it together and coped together. That has NEVER been an excuse. I tell her I wish she would have just said she had a lot going on than just ghosting (but lets be real the reason she never said anything is bc she forgot, this isn't the first time).

She starts crying and wailing about I love you! I can't imagine life without you (she's done a fine job at it thus far) you're supposed to be my maid of honor the aunt to my kids I need you in my life my entire life is planned with you in it!!

At this point I feel like throwing up so I just tell her hey. Anything you wanna say you'll get a chance to, but I'm getting overwhelmed right now and I need to leave. I'm not going anywhere, please don't stress out tonight. We will be civil in Seattle. OK? Are we OK? Love you. Bye.

Megan told me a few days later over icecream Sophia called her back and Megan just tore into her that all of this is the consequences of her own actions, Ive dropped everything for her for lesser problems and Sophia managed to show up for Megan when her mom died and when other things happened but the one time I needed her she failed. This was her own fault.

Seattle rolls around and we act totally like normal, everyone knows about everything but we are focusing on Danis graduation.

[hearties-circus]

Went out to lunch with family again, this time with the addition of some great aunties and my 2nd cousin

[nostalgiaispeace]

1500.

Would you rather lose your best friend or your boyfriend? um neither Do you think people who pay hundreds of dollars on perfume are ridiculous? yeah What is the last thing you tried on in a store? idk Do you know who Georgia Nicholson is? no Do you ever sleep through your alarm? once in a blue moon

Do you think Sophia Bush is a good actress? she’s decent. When did you realise you are no longer a child? when i was a teen? Is sleeping naked more comfortable then in clothes? noooo Are you comfortable enough around your friends to change in front of them? no

Does your best friend wear makeup? i don’t think they do. Sami might once in a while? Who is someone you do not understand at all? everyone What is your morning routine? get home, help my husband get ready for work, shower, read my bible, read in general, go to bed. Have you already met your true love? yes Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? yeah Do you prefer to fix the problems or just end the relationship? fix Have you ever accidentally stepped on a cat tail? yeah Do you ever go to Plyrics.com? no

Did you know that when a worm is cut in two both pieces grow again and continue living? who cares Do veggies gross you out? some do Do you know what Bluekaffee is? nope Chicken burger, fish burger or ham burger? hamburger What is the best brand of ketchup? none Would you run down the street completely naked for 1,000$? sure Have you ever dated someone in secret? no How do you get splinters out? with tweezers What is something all relationships need to be healthy? trust, communication Do you know who sings ‘Lover I don’t have to love’? nope Do you bring pillows and blankets on road trips? yes If a stranger adds you on facebook, do you add them back? no Does walking by yourself make you nervous? sometimes When dog’s bark, do you think it actually sounds like ‘ruff’? sometimes What about when cows moo? yeah How far is the airport from your house? 15 minutes? CSI or Crimnal Minds? - Can you make cookies from scratch? sure Do you ever send people good morning texts? no Is there someone who makes you blush when you just say hi to them? no Do you kiss your pets? yes Have you ever forgotten where you parked your car? yeah Does your leg itch right now? yeah What’s worse then a stomach flu? food poisoning Can you fall asleep in cars? not really Why did you go to church the last time you went? something for my sister i think Who made you dinner last night? ramen Do you say mag or magazine? magazine Would you rather marry someone repulsive or be alone forever? forever alone Would your parents approve of you dating someone of a different race? doesn’t matter i’m married How old is the oldest person you know? dunno Do you think Americans are pigs? no What was on the last sandwich you ate? idk Whose the last person who asked your name? idk Remember the loot bags you used to get at birthdays? Weren’t they awesome? yesss When is the last time you saw a monkey on TV? idk Do you buy scratch tickets? no Who has it easier: adults or teenagers? Why? teens. they don’t have responsibilities What’s the last thing you spent over twenty dollars on? food? Would you be sad if you were 50 and still not married? i am married Have you ever been so drunk you couldn’t even talk right? probably Do you know anyone with a million middle names? nope Are brand name food items really better then store brand ones? sometimes Is ceaser salad the best kind of salad? no Is it dark out yet? yes Do you believe that love is just an excuse to get hurt? no Is there a Booster Juice in your city? idk If its called INTERNATIONAL house of pancakes, why isnt there one in Canada? idk Do hugs help when you’re sad? sometimes How did you meet the last person you kissed? at his cousin’s bday party Do you buy more things online or in stores? stores

What is the best thing to eat with fish? nothing Isn’t it annoying when people treat music like a trend? sure Do online dating sites ever work? no idea

[suckitsurveys]

Do you know anybody who is ambidextrous? My dad is. He writes with his left hand but does everything else right handed. Have you ever been 4-wheeling? Nope. What’s the weather been like today? It’s cloudy and in the mid 70s. What was the last exam you sat for? Uh. Will you be attending any weddings in the near future? Nope I’m not cool enough for people to invite to weddings apparently.

Do you currently have any unread text messages, and who from? My cousin sent me like 802043920803309021 messages yesterday, all paragraphs, all gibberish. I haven’t read them yet because I’m not mentally prepared to try to decipher what the fuck she’s talking about. She’d notorious for sending texts like that. Speaking of text messages, what colour is your cell phone? A metallic lavender color. Do you live anywhere near the woods? There are some forest preserves nearby. Would you ever consider a career in the tourism industry? Sure why not. Do you have any important anniversaries you celebrate? Yes. Me and Mark’s. We like to celebrate how many years we’ve been together total instead of how many years we’ve been married. We got married the same date (6 years later) that we started dating to keep that our anniversary. When was the last time you used q-tips? A couple weeks ago. How does your hair react to humid weather or rain? Ya know, I’ve never really noticed. What’s your favourite flavour of iced tea? I love jade citrus mint green tea from Starbucks. Do you understand music theory? Ugh. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Not enough. Are you expected to act professionally at your job? Of course? Infomercials: entertaining or stupid? I haven’t watched one in foreverrrrr. What’s your favourite brand of energy drink? I don’t like energy drinks. Do you have (or have you ever had) acne? Ugh my skin is AWFUL. When was the last time you got pins-and-needles? My leg fell asleep the other day. Why did you click to take this survey? I felt like it. If you have glasses, have you ever smashed them? Not my prescription ones. Sunglasses, yes. How do you get new music? Buy or download or what? I just use Spotify. Have you ever sent someone an abusive text message? I hope any messages I’ve sent haven’t come off that way. Do you require a lot of time to do things or are you quick? Depends on what I’m doing? What will be the next concert you attend? Maybe Lizzo? If not, then Vampire Weekend IN SALT LAKE CITY hi Ellen. Turn the nearest television on, what’s on? There are no TVs here. How often do you “wake up on the wrong side of the bed”? Eh. Can you rap? Lol. What do you usually order when you’re at McDonald’s? Depends. McDonald’s is the only fast food place I like the burgers from, but in general I prefer chicken. So sometimes I get a Big Mac, sometimes a chicken sandwich, and sometimes a filet o fish. But fries. Always fries. Are there any textbooks near where you are right now? If you count instruction manuals and owners guides haha. There’s a bunch of those on my coworker’s shelves. What’s the time? 10 am. Do you know how to use a DSLR camera? Sure. How’s your body temperature right now? 98.6 or whatever it’s supposed to be, hopefully? Do you use Celsius or Fahrenheit? Fahrenheit. What was the last thing you got a really good deal on? I got two rainbow tye dye shirts for my niece’s rainbow themed bday party for my sister and I that were marked down from $25 to $9 each because they were “pride” shirts. Have you ever studied any ancient societies? Yeah. Do you like to wear long, dangling earrings? Yes, sometimes. What was the last reason you took medicine? I had a fucking terrible migraine. Do you exercise regularly? I need to start up again really bad. What is your coffee of choice? (flat white, cappuccino, etc.) Lattes. Do you pay any attention to your country’s politics? Yes and no. I know enough about it but sometimes I just can’t handle it because America is so fucking fucked up right now. Are you feeling worried about anything right now? Yeah. Are you a gossipy type of person? I’ll admit I like to gossip every once in a while. When will your next meal be, and do you know what it will consist of? I’m gunna munch on this pineapple I brought in a minute. And then for lunch I have a chicken caeser salad. Tell me about the sickest you’ve ever felt. I’m not sure. Thankfully, at least every time I remember, I’ve never gotten insanely sick. What’s your opinion on your in-laws, if you have any? I like them. Do you make excuses often, or do you just get things done? Both. Have you seen your best friend today? One of them I see every day because we live together. What can you smell right now? Myself. Any important birthdays coming up? My niece’s 6th and my 30th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fireworks: yay or nay? I love fireworks. Do you have any plans for the rest of the day? Work. Then going to the city clerk to pick up some parking passes for my tattoo artist so he can park on our permitted street (his shop is right around the corner from where my dad lives). Then dropping them off and going to the gym for a bit, or maybe swimming.  Then dinner with Mark. How about tomorrow? Any plans? Work. Then a quick dinner with Mark. Then going to see Wet Hot American Summer with my sister. They are showing it at a theater and they made a drinking game out of it. Should be pretty freaking awesome.  Do you know how to do your own laundry or does someone else do it? I do my own. If you could eat or drink anything right now, what would it be? That pineapple I mentioned. Brb. Okay got it. Yum. What colour are your headphones? Mint green. Think of the last long car trip you had, where did you go? Fuck. Did I explain this? Long story short, my friend lead us on a wild goose chase because she doesn’t know Chicago and their beaches and we went to like 5 different beaches before we finally settled on one. We were in the car for 3 hours and we didn’t even leave the city it was a fucking nightmare. Do you have a Twitter account that you use regularly? Yep. Have you ever seen a horseshoe crab? They’re scary, right?! No, I haven’t. What was the last movie you saw at the theatres? Detective Pikachu. Are there any new movies that you’d really like to see? I still need to go see Toy Story 4 and The Lion King. If you could play one instrument flawlessly, what would it be? Guitar. Do you overthink a lot of things? Sure. Is there anybody you miss but can’t see again? My mother. When was the last time you had a hangover? Recently.

[houseki-no-suffering]

First of all,,,,how dare you hurt the children *whispers* but tell me your headcanons p w e a s e

adgfh thanks for the interest nonnie. The post i made was about some Antarc hcs from the fic i’m writing so here it is i guess, my 

HnK 1960s AU:

(more under the cut cause it gets super long)

- the fic is an historical AU set in the 1960s and 70s in italy, but since most characters are older than that many HCs date back to the 40s and wwii as well

- (most of) the gems live in an Institute that Sensei founded during the last years of the war by using a big building that was built during Fascism and then abandoned/destroyed by the war. Think of the gems as orphans/ppl who found themselves alone after the war or something  

- the institute started off as a small thing but then more and more gems came around and it got its own elementary school and even middle school (thanks to Alex), there are dorms, a gym, a big canteen etc. 

- the city is super small, it doesn’t even have a train station so the school was a huge help especially cause the place was heavily bombarded cause it’s close to a larger city

- most of the gems that died before the beginning of the series died because of wwii (like Chrysoberyl, Morga and Goshe). Yellow lost most of their friends and Papda got badly injured 

- the school is more or less ran by Alex at this point cause Sensei is old and Alex and Chryso moved to this city after the war broke out, cause that’s the city Chryso where was born (and that’s why they knew sensei), also they thought the place would be safer but they were very wrong

- Alex is in their mid forties, around the same age as Padpa, a tiny, bitter academician who had once been famous for their work and that traveled around Europe with Chryso to attend conferences and stuff, and then the war happened and Chryso was snatched away from them in a very tragic way

- after Chryso died, Alex stopped caring about their career and basically resigned. They buried themselves in personal work as a big middle finger to the system and to distract themselves,they fell into severe depression and became completely disillusioned with life, they still have self-destroying outbursts from time to time, Red Beryl usually helps them but if those happen when Alex’s with Yellow then things kind of go for a tangent

- when Alex abandoned academia altogether they became somewhat of an anarchist, they don’t believe in the system anymoreand after battling to get an official high-school for the city and failing, they started teaching evening courses, which are kind of clandestine and very much unrecognized by the state, but fuck the state, let’s teach ppl how to think for themselves and let’s teach people just how much the state sucks

- also they *loved* to hear about 1968 and the cultural revolution and it will be very awkward when they find out Phos was basically in the midst of the storm

- Alex is basically the pillar upon which the whole institute is founded but they are not the headmaster, that role is Euclase’s who is also the treasurer, because Alex can’t deal with bureaucratic stuff for the life of them: they’d bankrupt the school in a fortnight

- Euclase is the second oldest after Yellow, they own the only car of the group and they let everyone borrow it. They walk around with a shawl over their head (because reasons) and a huge bunch of keys: they open and close all of the doors in the institute and when the younger gems are too loud and/or it’s too late in the night they tell them to go to sleep. They always check on everyone, included the gems who no longer sleep in the dorms (like Antarc, Phos, Bort and Cinnabar)

- along with Alex, they are the only other ‘old’ gem who went to uni and they graduated in Statistics or Economics (still haven’t decided), their official job is being a shopkeeper though, they own a small grocery shop near the institute 

- Euclase also owns a small radio, the only radio of the group. The first tv arrives when Cinnabar is like 15 and Phos’ 12 and everyone is super excited about it, they place it in the common living room, in the dorms  

- speaking of media, Jade runs a newspaper. They are not a journalist, nothing’s really official, but no one cares and they have an excuse to go about town and speak with people. They love the general aesthetic and the smell of ink too but they always wear dark pants to hide the stains. 

- Jade is a ‘rolled up sleeves and very long hair in a bun or ponytail’ kind of person. They’re 5-7 years Euclase’s junior and genuinely like Euclase, they spend a lot of time with them. They probably had a crush on them at some point but got over it. Euc is also their main source of information, along with Dia 

About the age thing: 

- Yellow, Padpa, Euc and Alex (and Chryso) are the oldies, in their mid-forties to early fifties when the story starts and mid-thirties in the flashbacks. 

- Jade, Red Beryl, Antarc, Peri and Sphene and Melon are the ‘middle generation,’ they’re up to 10 years younger than the old ppl

- Shinsha, Dia, Nepchi, Benito, the Amethysts, Lapis, Cairn and Ghost are the young ppl, 20 years or so younger than the old ppl 

- Phos, Bort, Zircon, new Goshe and new Morga are the actual bbys cause they’re even younger than that. Please handle with care

I DIDNT EVEN START TO SPEAK ABOUT THE MAIN CHARACTERS OR THE ANGST BUT THIS IS ALREADY SUPER LONG SO HERE’S SOME RANDOM STUFF INSTEAD

- Shinsha and Diamond share a birthday, that’s one of the reasons why Shinsha doesn’t celebrate their own bday cause they didnt wanna steal Dia’s spotlight but then they became kind of bitter/passive-aggressive about it

- Zircon is just 6 months Phos’ senior but since Phos is an actual dumbass they are actually 100 years more mature than them

- Dia works at a flower shop, they still live in the dorms tho and so do most of the gems

- except for Bort, who settled in a place of their own and then left to study in a marine military academy cause they are a battle maniac, they left the place to Cinnabar

- Cinnabar has a weird history with school and education but at 19 they decided they actually wanted a diploma and they wanted to get their life together and now they’re in uni and they teach at the institute to earn some money, they’re 26 at the beginning of the story

- Phos went away as well, they tagged along Antarc one time that Antarc came to town cause Phos was quite literally struck by them and would not let them go without them. They were just 16 and a big idiot

- Antarc was Chrysoberyl’s cousin, that’s how they know sensei

- they always dressed in suits and light colors, also they had a thing for keeping their place clean which they passed onto Phos

- Padpa used to be the cool uncle that every kid loved before they could no longer leave the bed, now they’re more or less in a coma and only wake up sporadically

- Yellow and Padpa used to be a couple before Rutile came around, then it became a weird triangle, then a messy polygon, then a very, very weird obsession that eventually led to Rutile studying medicine just so they could obsess over Padpa more

- Yellow decided they were fed up with the world at that point, so they opened a kennel and more or less started spending their days with more puppies and less people or dying lovers

- Bort does help at the kennel whenever they can, yes, Zircon loves to tag along too, they’re good friends

- Dia stopped going with them cause they have a very bad middle-child case

- Zircon can bake

- Cinnabar is studying mathematics 

- Phos is 23 when the fic starts and they don’t even have a diploma yet

- oh the town is by the sea and there’s an abandoned lighthouse too because that’s cool

- there is literally 100000 more things i wanna say about Antarc and Phos and Shinsha and all those characters I havent named yet but this is indeed super long and I’m afraid i must end it here for now, maybe I should make a new post for each character

thank you again if you had the patience to go through all of this! 

[sunnysidewrites]

Assassin!Seungcheol Pt 1

Requested by anon: Can please request a seungcheol mafia au with angst and fluff 💘 

hi lil anon i was actually already planning on writing this au right before you requested! I hope this was something along the lines of what you were looking for!! happy bday to papa cheols he is sUCH A BIAS WRECKER!! AND IM SORRY I WROTE SO MUCH FOR THIS!!! THIS ALMOST SURPASSED WOLF!WONWOO’S LENGTH JLSDJFDLS I WILL DO A PART 2 IF PEOPLE WANT IT!!!

also I was in the middle of writing this when all of a sudden i got a notification that @cheollies posted one and i was like oMG ARE U SERIOUS HERS IS SO MUCH BETTER!! go check hers out IM SO IN LOVE WITH HER WRITING OMG SHE GIVES ME INSPIRATION!!! my au takes a different direction bUT I FIND IT FUNNY HOW WE BOTH DID IT LMAO

warnings: fluff and a whole lotta angst, mention of some violence

Part 1 | Part 2 (Finale)

Yes another one

I apparently really like assassin and vigilante aus bc,,,, just look at wonwoo’s

I just kiNDA LIVE FOR THIS TROPE LEAVE ME A LO N E

anyways birthday boi papa cheols can run me over with this au bye

Seungcheol had always been involved in the shady realm of business

His father was a politician and,,,, well he wasn’t bad but he wasn’t good either

Seungcheol, however, thought his father did some questionable things

His suspicions were confirmed one day

“You’re gonna need to protect me”

And lil cheollie was like ???? what do you mean dad????

“Son, I have a lot of enemies, and that’s inevitable when you have this type of job. I don’t trust anyone else to do this job,,, so,,,,,,”

Poor smol cheols is still really confused like dad im still not understanding

“I need you to,,,,, take care,,,,,, of some people for me”

“Take care?? Like help them when they’re sick???”

“Sure…. Sick…. Let’s go with that”

And from then on, seungcheol started this dirty job his father brainwashed him into doing

He was only in middle school when he had to do his first “mission”

Since his dad didn’t want him to do anything big just yet, he only had cheols start off by dropping in poison discreetly in drinks

His missions slowly started to grow larger and next thing you know Seungcheol is taking up self defense classes

He’s now in his early 20’s and,,,,

His heart has completely hardened

I’m sad now

All he thinks about is how his father will be proud for completing whatever current mission he needs to do

The reassuring words of “i’m proud” always made him feel overjoyed,,,, his father had never once said that to him even when Seungcheol had good grades or brought his team to first place in the football championships,,,,

No. His father only congratulated him every time he took care of an “inconvenience.”

“If this is what I have to do to get him to notice me,,,,, then I’ll do it.”

His father is in the middle of negotiating with another distinguished political figure,,, but things aren’t going very well

Being the manipulative person he is, cheol’s father is blackmailing the man to give in

“You wouldn’t want anything to happen to your daughter,,,,, do you?”

“,,,,,You wouldn’t. Leave her out of this and settle this like a real man.”

“Oh, but I most certainly would, Park. Do not test me.”

The man mulls it over in thought before caving in

Ofc,,, seungcheol doesn't know about the dirty work his father does himself

He only thinks there's a reason for why his father has a need to get rid of bad men, and he just goes along with it

At this point he’s completely void of warmth and nurture

Whatever his father orders him to do, he does it without hesitation whatsoever

Until,,,, he meets,,,,

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” you apologize for running into someone

He doesn’t have time to deal with this since he’s on his way to meet his father but he takes one look at your face and he is star!! struck!!

“A-ah,,,, it’s alright; I wasn’t looking either,” he says with a dazed look

And you’re like oh good sorry about that again!! And you rush off to wherever you’re going

He watches you leave but then he’s like o right i gotta meet dad

The rest of the day he just has thoughts on the stranger he bumped into

His next mission is to get rid of the man’s daughter, but he can’t immediately kill her just quite yet

His father tells him to wait it out if the man pulls any tricks on him

But as for now, the father is holding off any missions for cheols bc the other politician is his main concern rn, and there doesn’t seem to be anything shady just yet

Cheols is like welp ok guess i’ll just,,,,,,chill or smth,,,,,,

And cheols hasn’t had free time in a loooong time so he’s kinda unsure what to exactly do

He decides to just go to the gym and hang out around a mall or smth like he literally does not know what to do

He’s at a nearby mall one day just chilling on a bench and sipping his smoothie he bought from the food court when he suddenly sits upright

A few shops down is the same person he bumped into!!!

You’re on a lonely shopping spree that consists of just window shopping and going around to stores that seem to have cute clothes

And he’s just like ,,,,,,,,what are the chances of meeting her again,,,,,,,,

He casually walks over at a reasonable distance where he’s far enough to not seem like a stalker but close enough to have you in sight

When he sees you heading out of the store he just casually bumps into you

“Oh sorry -- omg it’s you!” you say pointing your finger at him

And he’s like lmao :) yes :) it is me :) totally coincidental :)

“It’s alright,,, i’m already used to it ;)”

And you’re like l m a o,,, k then

“Are you by yourself?”

“Well,,, just having some me time” you raise your hands to gesture to the bags in your hand

“You look like you can use some company ;)” cheols pls

And you’re like ahhaahaha,,,,,, well not realllllly LOL but,,,,, you can join if you’d like,,,,,,, or smth,,,,,

And that’s how you got Seungcheol to spontaneously join you in what you originally intended to be your me time

When you had to get going, he was like you wanna,, exchange numbers so we can do this again??

And you’re like ,,,,,,,,sure

Smooth cheol not really bye

You guys keep this up for the next few weeks, either you hitting him up to “have someone accompany you,” or him seeing what you’re up to and joining you regardless bc “you need someone to protect you”

I mean you lowkey do tho

You grow closer to Seungcheol but you’re utterly oblivious to what he does behind the scenes

And quite frankly, he wants it to stay that way

For once, he was not shunned bc of his work and he wants to keep it that way

He’s finally met someone who’s overlooked everything he’s ever wanted to hide and he doesn’t ever want that to be taken away from him

You and seungcheol have grown so close that you guys don’t even bother to use an excuse to see each other like how you did the first week or so of meeting each other

“Hey let’s go down to the new cafe down the street”

“Be there in 10”

Seungcheol didn’t realize how deep he fell until he saw you with another guy

Once the person leaves, he sidles up next to you and starts badgering you

“Who was that guy”

“What did he want”

“I think he was standing a little too close to you”

“He didn’t try anything funny, did he?”

“fOR THE LOVE OF GOD CHEOL THAT WAS MY COUSIN”

“....still”

And he’s like i don’t like it when guys get too close to you

And you’re like why do you even care so much?????

“Bc,,,,,,,,,,i like you you don’t know self-defense”

And you’re like uM IM NOT WEAK

“Try throwing me over”

“You’re like twice my size wtf”

“dO IT”

And you’re like ,,,,,,,,ok fine i’m weak

And the way you’re pouting and playfully hitting his arm

It’s all it takes for him to laugh with a twinkle in his eyes and he realizes

He’s in love

The curve of your lips, the crinkle of your eyes,,,, it’s enough to set him off

He only stands there staring at you and you’re like ????

“Earth to cheols???” you wave your hand in front of his face thinking he spaced out

You have a very perplexed look on your face and he’s like okAY I CAN’T TAKE THIS

He grabs your face and you’re like uH????????????

“You need to stop”

“Stop,,,, what? What do i need to stop????”

“Being so vulnerable. You only make yourself more irresistible”

And before you can even ask him what he means by that, he juST PULLS YOU IN AND KISSES YOU

And you’re like o H MY GO D WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

But the warmth emitting from his body and the softness of his lips make you wanna dIE and you both soon engage in a passionate kiss

You hadn’t realized you liked him until that moment

You,,,, love him

You both break away, completely breathless

“You’re too irresistible, I couldn’t handle it”

“Shut up and kiss me again”

Soon enough you have to part ways and call it a day and both of you are essentially floating back home on cloud 9

You close your door and lean against it, bringing your hand up to your lips

You,,, had your first kiss,,,,,,

Meanwhile back at home, Seungcheol is trying to keep his heart and thoughts from racing

He can still feel your body under his and just merely thinking about it makes him break out into a gigantic foolish grin

The next day, you text him to see if he wants to go check out the ice cream parlor

But,,,,,, you never get a response

You’re thinking he’s probably busy doing something but,,, he doesn’t respond the entire day

Nor does he respond the entire week after that

And you’re just,,,,,,, really hurt and confused

“Where,,, did i go wrong???”

You thought the feelings were mutual that night,,,, now suddenly he got cold feet and left you like this????

Two weeks pass and you still hadn’t heard of anything from him

You text and call him but to no avail

You’re just about to give up contacting him after calling him for the fifth time but you suddenly hear a voice that you’ve been waiting for

“Hello?”

“Cheol what happened to you! I thought,,,, i thought,,,, you didn’t wanna see me anymore,,,,,,,,,,,,,”

And there’s silence on the other end

“Cheol, are you still there?”

“Look,,,,,,, y/n,,,,,, we can’t do this”

Your heart sinks

“W-what can’t we do?”

“This was never gonna work out,,, we should just end it here”

“Cheol, i don’t understand, let’s just meet up and talk--”

“No! Y/N, forget it! Forget everything we did. Forget about us. Forget,,, forget about me.”

“Cheol, stop talking nonsense--”

And the line cuts.

Your arm limply falls and drops the phone

You can’t eat or sleep for the next few days

A week later you return to the same cafe you bumped him at and a small inkling of you wants to meet him but at the same time you don’t know what would happen if you did

You end up going to the cafe every day because of that stupid little small spark of hope inside of you,,,, you keep telling yourself you’ll never see him again but,,,, your feet keep taking you there

Just around the corner of a building across the street, Seungcheol sees you desperately trying to find any signs of him

He grips his gun

“I’m sorry dad,,,, i can’t do it this time”

Might make part 2 if there’s a good response!!!!

[itssugarysweet]

#1 Essay in July : What makes you the happiest in your everyday life?

Okay, this writings might sounds cliché, but as cliché as it sounds it’s just hit me. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but on my way home from work, I contemplated myself on many things. FYI, I don’t do that much LOL, but somehow… the thought crossed my mind. It’s around a week ago, where I’m dead tired because I spent the day with my family. I stared at a ceiling in my bedroom and out of the blue I asked ‘what is happiness, exactly?’

I knew happiness could came in many forms. But what it is exactly that makes you the happiest in your trivial day of life? Well, that night, I realized one thing. Small things matters.

It’s when my cousin asked me to played with her and (again, as cliché as it sounds) she held my hand so tight. It felt like she won’t let go of mine, as if I were going to be gone soon. So I asked her “why do you hold my hands like this? I won’t go anywhere.” The answer is simple but my hearts thumping as she whispered to my ears “because you’re going to work again soon, right? I can’t hold your hand again, at least now I can.” For god’s sake, she’s 3 years old. And she appreciated things better than I do.

It’s when I got home after playing all day with my lil cousin, my mom asked me “I’ll go to the market tomorrow. You just gotta list all the food you want, I’ll make it all for you.”

It’s when I got a chat from my coworkers. She’s like one of the funniest person I have known all my life LOL. She sent me a pic of her (I know it’s so trivial) but the caption is “I miss the girl from East Borneo” and it hits me hard. I’m not a typical friend that would express my emotion through chats or even say “I miss you” or giving a surprise to my bf’s bday but that one time I realized “yeah, I miss her too. I should said to her” as I usually just ignore that kind of chats, unknowingly I find myself replying to her “awww, that’s super sweet, I miss you too” heck LOL who is this again???

It’s a wrinkle on the corner of my grandpa’s smile the day I arrived at home, bought him his daily necessities. He thanked me with a deep warm voice, wishing me to always be healthy and may I always meet a fine human being in my life. Damn… I feel like I choked on water I didn’t drink. It’s a simple wish and a simple gift for him, yet he thanked me with such a sincere wish. I couldn’t even repay 0,00000001% of his kindness and everything he did in my life… I wish I could talked more with him, like we used to back then when I was still beyond my 20’s. I really miss talking with him. I really miss debating with him on certain topics; I don’t care if it’s him telling me to always be tidy, clean the table right after we finished eating, wear sandals even inside the house, or simply reminding me to always learn and be brave in everything. I really miss his philosophy thoughts in life. Heck, I even miss his nagging. I feel like I, myself, made a distance unknowingly from him because I’m too busy with my own life and my goals. I feel really stupid. He’s truly a blessing in my life. The most family oriented man, ever.

It’s when I got a chat from my high school best friend. Telling me unimportant stuff he/she got from twitter. But I still have a very good laugh even though the topics are very random and we haven’t met like… idk… it’s been ages now. The type of friends who wouldn’t irritates if you sent them cheesy jokes and will get along in an instance, being stupid together until dawn. The type of friends who would accept and be okay even if you act crazy…. oh wait, I guess they’re crazier than me LOL. The type of friends who will stick no matter how much the distance tear us apart, they always have time to reached me. Me, someone who sucks putting my feelings into words. Me, who always too ignorant.

It’s when in my spare time, I made a fanart for Soo and he likes it on instagram LOL. Always being the sweetest boy~ always spend his time communicating with his fans through voice broadcast, chats (heck, he even replied our chats, isn’t he the sweetest?) and videos. Despite a tight schedule, still did many donations (which made me pissed of myself, I mean… if he could do it, why couldn’t I? I have too many reasons and hold back from my to-do-list this year in the sake of ‘busy working life’ as an excuse hhhhh)

It’s when I gathered with my big family, just slacking off the day and cooking together to have a feast at home.

Long story short, small things matters. Happiness for me come in the shape of small things. And I should appreciate and cherish them more in my daily trivial life, there’s always a glimpse of happiness within.

[navidabs-blog]

Why the hec did I agree in running a half-marathon for my first official run.

I feel like, I cannot achieve anything. I feel so sad and overwhelmed at the same time, many people are supporting me.  Not only in my studies but also trying to run a freakin half-marathon. I never ran like this in my whole life. I never did even love it ever since. But maybe I just want to prove something to myself. That maybe I can defy the odds. It was really rough for me these pasts months. I am trying to cope and hold on to something I don't even know why. But then I realized, I will be doing this for me.

I wasn't planning to run a half-marathon I just wanted to run with my mom and I just like the event so much. It is under the production Color Manila that throws colored powder/paint on you while you run and after you run when you had reached the finish line you will be havin a rave party afterwards. 

I was so excited about that but my mom told me let us join the half- marathon, my expression was “LIKE WHAT?!”. Let’s just join the lowest category, but she insisted that we should do the half-marathon only because the freebies that comes with it are cool! (haha I know my mom sometimes can give out so cute excuses!) So I just agreed with her.

Back story of my mom, she was a athlete in track in field during her high school and college days. And was qualified (very qualified) in being part of the Philippine Team in Track and field. And oh yeah, at her time she was the 3rd fastest person in the Philippines (women category)  

While me, I just played tennis when I was young and never really liked running, she once encouraged me into running but yeah I bailed out of that one. 

I do some athletic stuff, I think. I surf and skate board before. But yea no running involved and I just do those things for fun not seriously.

So me, a musical theater student, never did liked running will run a marathon all of a sudden will run a half-marathon.

The first day I started my first day of my “SO CALLED TRAINING”

*Aug. 8, 2017*

As you can see I my stats are not that great. In my mind (Why the hell am I doing this?) 10 mins/km?! And only 2km I am already tired and my calf’s, feet, knees are hurting? Why did I get myself into? 

*Aug. 15, 2017*

As you can see the interval since my first run was at least 5 days, tho it is because my Uncle and his family from Canada came here in the Philippines. I was somewhat busy being with them and was busy because my boyfriends bday was on the 11th

*Aug 24, 2017*

I had a VERY VERY VERY LOOOOOONNNNGGGGG interval since the last time I ran, and I knew by that time, time was running out and I needed to step- up my game. So I pushed myself for the first time and hey! I did a 3km run in 29 mins well I know that was low but still I knew I was improving but as you can see my pacing is starting to decrease slowly but hey I was happy that I ran a 3km run, I have never imagined that I will come to that point. And at this very moment I gained a little confidence.

*Aug. 25, 2017*

I really gain too much confidence cause the ff. day I asked my aunt to join me running, and yeap! I still got my 3km run in 28 mins! like wow! this is one of the fastest run I have ever done! And I was proud of it. Then I realized that it is fun and much encouraging to run when you have someone to run with. I thank my aunt in this moment.

*Aug 27,2017*

This run was somewhat a test run for me for the half-marathon. Because me and my mom joined an event but it was only 3km and yeah. I was so happy with the results I have gotten! As you can see I finished about 25mins in the 3km run! At that time I was so happy that I have gotten my first medal and the results that I have shown was far beyond my expectations. I was just planning to walk (KIDDING!) but that day I was happy at the same time, tired, exhausted and sleepy but very overwhelming.

(a picture of me and my mom after the race)

*Aug. 28, 2017*

The ff. day after the race, I went to UP to run and my main goal was a 4km or a 5km run and I did not disappoint myself and I actually reached my goal for that day. So cheers to me right?! This was the time that I think I enjoyed running. May it is the thought of improving and gaining something in return and it impresses me that it kind of relieved my anxiety.

*Aug. 30, 2017*

I forgot why I did not run for the past few days but I knew I was determined to beat my 4km run. So I tried a diff. route on this day just to succeed in my 5km run and as you can see their were a lot of improvement. And I was so happy that I have achieved this result, I was so determined even tho I was just running by myself I still am very thankful that I achieved this!

*Sept. 9,2017*

It has been a while since I ran again as you can see. Well in those 2 days that I did not run I was in City of Dreams and I was one of the last days I will see my uncle and his family before going back to Canada. The day after they left I was feeling exhausted, tired and just not feeling well. This was the start where my training began to be shady. This day I was not feeling that well but I know I can still run. I did run that day and was determined to beat my 5km run. And I did beat that 5km run with some impressive results! I was overwhelmed again but after this day my body is not functioning well as I thought it would be I got a fever and next thing you know I was resting for 3 days cause my body was sore not because of the muscle cramps but because of the flu.

*Sept. 9,2017*

3 days after the flu, I ran with my boyfriends cousin and we just did a 5km run cause it has been a while since he ran. He cached up with me pretty quickly and was not a burden, that was a good thing cause I know I need to level up my game. We got some impressive results by the end of our run we sprinted it out. Oh and by the was I was wearing new shoes that time. I know, I know that was a bad idea but what do I know right. I know nothing about running. When we reached home, my legs were painful and I knew and felt that something was quite wrong.

The ff. day I got VERY BAD RESULTS. I wore my new shoes again and my Achilles in my left foot starting to hurt a lot. I tried to endured it but it was really not working out. So I knew I had to stop. As you can see I only did 2km that day. I was so sad, that I just ate at a nearby resto. I was just trying to laugh it off. I thought that time that it was just because of the shoes. It was not that properly braked - in or what. But I never lost hope yet.  

*Sept. 8, 2017*

I know, I know by this time while you are reading this you are probably pissed at me. I myself do not even know why I still ran the ff. day after experiencing that crucial pain. I thought that maybe it was because I used the new shoes. So this day I used up my old shoes and ran with it. Well sadly and stupidly I was wrong with my theory, and it just got worse.

*Sept. 14, 2017*

I know I haven't been running for a while I knew I had to rest up my ankles. And I have to make my training done step by step. So this day I just ran 3km just not to startle my legs and ankles and I used some muscle tape on my left ankle for support and yeap I can still run like before but now while I was recovering, I researched and now I intensify my warm up and cool down and after I run I always put some cold compress on my ankles and calf's. Yes, people I learned my lesson the hard way. 

2 days after my first run, after recovering I ran 7km with my cousin. It was a good thing that she was there to help me and give me tips in running. I trust her cause she already did a half-marathon and it was an amazing day. I did learned a lot from the stretching, while running and so much more. We had fun and gained me more confidence and strategy and the support from her was astonishing and inspiring. 

(this is me and my cousin goofing out while the weather was very temperamental)

Oh yeah after that long run we feasted with some scrumptious food!  

*Sept. 19, 2017*

I knew I should at least try to defeat my record when I was with ate Karina. I applied all the teachings she told me and tried a 10 km run! And well, well, well, I did it! it was so tiring the but still I never thought I can do it with that time. The first 5 km was hard but when the 6th and so on came I became more relaxed as if my body was on auto pilot.

*Sept. 21, 2017* 

This was my last run before the half-marathon and I was contemplating on how many km will I run this day, if I should run a 10 km or a 5 km. I asked around and my friends told me that I should do some light training and so I did. This day I just took my time into running and just enjoyed it, since this is my last run I just have to just chill and condition my body. I don’t need to strain myself that much. I know for a fact I need to conserve my energy for the longest run that I will ever do.

*Sept. 24, 2017*

THE DAY OF THE MARATHON

[realitytraumaticboy]

Page 11 Disaster and Bullying

2007 15 so i take on 7/7/07 a plane to FL Miami in Hialeah not going to tell what part this time i was in my aunt place where i find my grandma from when i was a little kids and she take care of me and travel one day to USA and left us to find a better life them my cousin that he when to visit my country one time he was so friendly that when he see me he expect me to be someone different but he was cold and i tell you more about his life later my cousin she love anime and she still lovely like when i was a little kids she never change we was like best friends them that years i enter on high school name ASHS to keep the school name protect and not mention it i say the 3 first letters of each part of it i only can say tell call it patriots very patriotic right but do they really know what kids do on school,after school and outside school? No they don’t let start with my cousin he take me back home in his car and some times i remember he have a gf that good but what he hiding behind his alcoholic fathers well before he take me home he always find a excuse and his friends tell me to never tell none one they always do at the park smoke and do drugs he always do it to stay cool with his friends and forget all about his problems and sometimes drink just like his dad they offers me to do it but i reject it also the smell was so bad and horrible i never tell it to his mom because they say to me that it a secrets and never say a thing to her and i respect it because is was none of my business because one day one of his friends traps him and put a cold medicine that they used it for do drugs and make him in trouble calling the police he got in jails and learn his lessons but after he got clean he got back to smoking and drinking again i don’t know what his life going to end some of his friend today change and move on and others still fighting he have the best girls but in the end they always left him for personals reasons he was a disasters.

2008 16 i was not freshman anymore i turn sophomore i was in esol classes the friends i have was the best even one of them defend me from i guy that bullied me i start getting bad grates and getting frustrated and little depress because i felt life was getting more hard and nothing was easy on 2009 17 i was Junior this time i was on after school at night and one time after noon to past the year i was more busy this is where i start getting more depress and felt more alone and hurt when a immature teacher one time put me in the back Kick Me before i go i felt something in my back and that teacher never touch me but that day that teacher do it to me and i confirm by someone in the class that was that teacher that do it to me i was thinking like is the teacher supposed to give example to the class or turn childish in a low level??? also another time there was a teacher in night school that was cursing on me and bullied me just like he was a high school kids i almost want to cry and tell myself why a teacher is so cruel when he supposed to teach kids and help us do better not do worse is that what he teaching us to be bullied and revel to others??? i never forget those moments of my life on 2010 18 Senior year Dear High School “Everyone is just so nice until they drive you to kill yourself and sooner or later the truth will come out" i agree with this phrase the last years was the worse part a lot of boys want to have sex with me or find me one outside to a point they offers me one person that her uncle is a gay porn star if i want to join and work there i say no and run away i was not that low key to enter in that world,second fight i broke my fight promise and fight one time with one kids and got into detection because he bullied me i have so much hate that they even thrown me a pizza and everyone laugh at me,or when some times they get my hands and punch me in my stomach was so hurtful that i felt to never going back again to high school one of the reasons my grates was so low and turn so shy and revel,drugs how security was so blind where kids smoke at bathroom and have backpack full of drugs they offers me billion times and i say no i even left some friends and stay away to find others ones but some times they touch my body part and ass saying they want to do it with me i always say no they call me all types of names even makes me do their home work and be their puppets buying them the food they want like a servant to the group and one of the bullied pee on me one time when i was in the bathroom worse moment i felt after that i want to kill myself and never live again was two much everyone on high school used me always for what they want i call one time the office and speak about it they say they going to kick them out if they keep doing it but why i say that for worse they kick me in the stomach again and that one time when they force me in class when the teacher left on a computer class to watch porn with their strong hand on me so i don’t run away i miss all activities and i never went to prom night i learn that years to never trust anyone even the nicest person because everyone even if they pretend to be so nice they always hide their dark side to the end or when none one is watching them like teachers example when they left or something.

They tells of how to be professionals and be successful on education and be perfect but they never tell us how to fight and handle real life and problems and struggle and how to find help when we needed the most...

2011 19 Graduation i least i graduate and my father came to celebrate at that time i was moving second time to another apartment with my grandma and sis  because there was problems with my aunt and her husband i have 3 of them one i felt like a mothers because she help me on everything school, college, job, advice me on life, take me to Disney world without her i am nothing,second one i love her she also advice me and she is lovely and kind she gift me on my bday like 3 times going to royal Caribbean cruise and i felt like the best vacation of my life and best gift she always takes me to the best places and a 3 aunt that she always celebrate my Bday and she also advice me and she the best.

2012 20 here another part of me that i felt like i feel been controlled by a toy even if she want the best of me...

[momblogyourface]

The frustration

I just feel sooo..frustrated. I guess it’s just an accumulation of things. To start off work has been keeping me in suspense over a position I applied for. It would really help my family. It would mean a slight pay raise and that I would go from part time to full time. The best part would be that I would finally be able to work the same schedule as my husband. I could actually eat dinner with my family. Spend a real evening with them. It would just mean so much to me. But they move things so slow at my job. I won’t know for a couple months if I have it or not. So everyday I just my ass. Trying to just.. Idk make it happen I guess.. I hate to say it but my husband has been quite a frustration to me as well. We have a dirt bike. It doesn’t really work, mostly from lack of riding it and other issues. Awhile back he had talked to me about letting his cousin take it and fix it up “he would buy the stuff and we can pay him back” I said no because honestly we dont have the money for it. We don’t have the time to ride it. Or the place to. Why not let his cousin but it from us and do whatever he wants with it. So I get home the other day.the dirt bike is gone. He took it to his cousins. He says they will share it. And same him pay and is pay back. Or whatever. I couldn’t believe it. We already talked about it. And he did it anyway. A few months ago his friend from work for a flat tire and calls his up to use his spare. So my husband gives him his spare tire. Its been months now. This guy has been riding around on our donut for all this time. We will never get that tire back not that i want it now since its probably bald from the wear. Well then my husband tells me he took my spare because he needed it. *he would have a spare if he never gave his away* I just… I just don’t understand.. I guess. But I digress So apparently last Thursday his friend(pretty okay guy I guess) invited him to a beach town a few hours away for the weekend..This past weekend. so he had a whole week to tell me about it and didn’t mention it until The day before. I like to think i am a pretty chill person. So of course I say yes and say we will figure out baby sitters. he ended up not going because of his back and work so okay. But now he wants to go next weekend which.. Well our daughters 2nd bday is Friday so you can imagine my....... Annoyance. most important thing for me is that she has a good day so i have to let that go and give her a great bday. Next on my long list of frustration. Come Sept my husband and children will be visiting his grandmother birthday. That's awesome. It would be even more awesome if I was invited to go. But his father only invited him and the kids "He figured i would have to work" his father is not my biggest fan. But i have no qualms with the man. He doesn't know me so he can think what he will. I can only assume his disdain is from his son shit talking me to him. But to not even invite the mother of your grandchildren. Then when it was pointed out to give a flimsy work excuse... And then to say if I want to come I can but I must pay my own way(his father is a wealthy man). Then atop of all this I forever have my sister on my mind. She has been going through fertility treatment and it has not been easy. Months of disappointment. Months of hopes shattered. I feel like I have no one and nothing. I feel like my husband doesn't love. His family truly dislikes me. I have no one I can truly talk to even my best friends. I love my husband and I even love his family. But I'm losing myself everyday. I'm scared to see what will be left after I have siphoned every bit of me to just keep this smile on my face on all.