#i know i shouldnt be but i really cant help but be excited to see waht happens

[fanaticbitchhh]

because i love you.

theodore nott x reader

kinda toxic theo, reader is quite sensitive ig, house isnt really specified.

and i made a character ai bot of this scenario which sparked the idea of a fic soooo yeah! my character ai tag is: cherry_loves_80s. if you could check that out that would be awesome!

warnings: sexual innuendo?, underage drinking, foul language, a bit of angst lmk if i missed any!

synopsis: you were at a ravenclaw party, enjoying yourself. you and theo had been hooking up for a few months now, despte being best friends, but it was always a 'no strings attached' basis. it wasnt until this fateful and drunk night, you found out how he truly feels.

you had your favorite dress on, it was tight and short but it accentuated your curves perfectly, and it had a small slit going up your thigh. you had also been drinking a bit more than intended that night, which brought you to where you were now; dancing on a table with astoria greengrass and pansy parkinson.

you never really spoke to astoria, but through this night you knew she would be in your life a lot more. you were having fun, of course you were, chase atlantic playing in the background as you danced the night away like you didnt have class the next day. it was perfect. almost.

you had yet to see theodore nott, the boy you had a crush on since first year. the boy who you had a strict 'no strings attached' arrangement with, where you promised you wouldnt catch feelings but there you were, agreeing to the arrangement knowing the massive crush you had on the guy.

you knew you shouldnt have agreed, it was wrong and you gave yourself false hope. but there was no going back now, every time you try to call the agreement off, you'd come crawling back into his bed the next night. a vicious cycle you had yet to break.

astoria hopped off the table, grabbing the three of you some more firewhiskey. pansy and you had barely registered that she left before she came back with three red solo cups filled with the alcoholic drink and hopped back up on the table. you'd normally be embarrassed to be up there, but you were drunk and excited.

you carried on dancing, even when you spotted theodore nott in the corner of the room watching you intently. you smirked upon seing the curly haired boy, and he motioned you to go to him.

"pans, m' be right back." you shout, slurring your words over the music.

you made your way over to him, a smile gracing your lips as you grew closer. you stumbled a bit, but you managed to get over to him in one piece. as soon as you get to him, he takes your hand and leaves ravenclaw common room without another word.

"theo, where are we goin?" you slur, stumbling and wobbling with every step you took.

"my dorm, you're drunk and you shouldn't be out there when you're like this." he tried to sound annoyed but he couldnt help the concern that dripped from his words either.

you carried on walking for a bit before tripping. luckily, he caught you before you hit the ground and ultimately decided to carry you bridal style.

"m' fine theo." you sigh, lulling your head back as he walked.

"we cant be seen together like this." he mutters, speeding up his pace.

"why?" you asked.

"you know why." his voice was stern and you could feel his heartbeat through his shirt.

"no actually, i dont. so please theo, enlighten me." you say annoyedly. "are you embarrassed about being seen with me or something?" you asked, silently hoping that wasnt the case.

"embarrassed? what? of course not, i just..." he pauses for a bit. "just forget it." he opens the slytherin common room door and heads up to his dorm, you knit tightly in his arms.

you sigh, you were annoyed by his reluctance to tell you what was bothering him. he sets you down on his bed, but not before noticing the creases your dress had, or how your dress rode up your thighs, or how your high-heeled feet were on his bed.

he lets his eyes wander to your thighs, he always loved them, the plush flesh was always there to squeeze when he got too overwhelmed with something.

"you okay theo?" you ask, it was clear to him you were tired, but you cared for him deeply and wanted to know what was troubling him.

"im... fine." he says, his eyes still locked on your thighs. he moves his hand to ghost over the flesh, before placing it on your thigh.

you drew a shaky breath, cheeks flushing red almost immediately at the touch. his breathing had become heavy as his hand travelled further up your thigh before stopping abruptly, the warmth of his hand dissipating from your thigh.

"i cant do this." he sighed in annoyance.

"what?" you sit up, missing his touch.

"i want to... but i cant" his voice was shaky and nervous.

"why cant you?" you ask, turning your head slightly as you grew confused.

"because we both know this'll ruin everything." he says, looking away from you. "you're drunk and if anyone were to find out, my reputation would be ruined."

"is that what you care about? your reputation?" you scoffed.

"obviously thats not all i care about" he sighed, thinking about his words. "...but that's been my reputation my entire life, its a hard thing to throw away."

"and what exactly is this reputation huh?" you ask, growing irritated.

"you... you know, rich, well respected, the popular, quiet kid. my parents worked very hard to give me my reputation. i can't just throw it away for a... drunken mistake." he whispered.

"thats what this is to you? a fucking mistake?" you ask, tears welling in your eyes.

"no, no, absolutely not, that's not what i meant. that's not what i meant, okay?" he sounded frustrated. "you… you're the best thing that's happened to me, the only good thing in this stupid school." he says, his voice filled with panic.

"please stop lying to me." you sigh, tears streaming down your face. "i think i should go.. and i dont think we should hook up anymore.."

"this isn't what you want, you're just drunk." he says as he gently wipes some tears off your face. "please, lets just talk about this in the morning when you're sober."

"you said this was a drunken mistake theo. that im a drunken mistake. i think that sobered me up more than just sleeping on it would." you scoff.

"stop putting words in my mouth! i never called you a drunken mistake, my god. i said this was a mistake in general and i didn't mean it and-" he stopped short, frustrated with himself. "just please let's talk about it in the morning, alright?"

"im not putting words in your mouth theo! thats exactly what you said! you said you cant ruin your reputation your parents built for you over a drunken mistake!" you quote him.

he sighs. "fine, if you want to be like that then maybe we shouldn't hook up…" he looks away before muttering another sentence, you didnt hear but it was something like '…but i need you…'.

"maybe we shouldnt." you sigh before standing up, you tried not to cry but the tears flowed anyway, you knew you needed him more than you cared to ever admit.

he looked down, clearly upset, before speaking up again. "yeah, yeah.. its for the best.. just make sure you get some water and some food before you go to bed, please." he says before allowing you to leave.

you nod, "mkay, i will" you sigh. "g'night theo." you walked out and went to your dorm.

you heard a faint "goodnight y/n" as you left, it caused you to smile but it also reminded you of those nights. the nights after a hook up where you'd talk about anything and everything but solely ignoring your feelings for him because you didnt want to overstep boundaries.

im doing a week time skip because i can 🐍😩😋😻😻💋💃👻

everyone had noticed how angry you had gotten over the past week, they also noticed how miserable, snappy and quiet theo had gotten. they chalked it up to the end of your friendship, but it was more than that. the slytherin gang had noticed your absence, they were quite upset about it frankly, you were always able to make them laugh.

you were stomping into the great hall for breakfast, your ink spilled this morning and set you in a worse mood than usual. a guy, probably in the year below you, had bumped into you by accident and it got you. you lashed out at him, but you didnt know that theo was watching you since you came through the great hall.

"the fuck's your problem!" you yell at the boy, a furious expression taking over your face.

"m' m' so sorry! it was an accident m' sorry y/n!" he squeaked out.

you rolled your eyes and stomped over to astoria and pansy, sitting between the two. you muttered a quick "morning" to them and grumpily ate your breakfast.

theo was still conflicted about the whole situation, replaying what happened in his head with a solemn look on his face. but he was miserable without you, knowing he could never have you the way he truly wanted you. what made it worse was the nightmares and dreams, both of those which involved you in some way.

when theo noticed you'd sat down, he was hesitant to approach you, in fear of ruining your day more than it already was. he looked over at you, observing your actions incase you snapped at someone else. it seemed everyone was stepping on eggshells while talking to you, they were too afraid you'd start to lash out.

people were staring at you, you could hear you name come from the whispers to their friends. you looked just about ready to kill someone. man, if looks could kill, half the school would be dead by now.

theo kept watching you, hoping you'd calm down at some point but he could tell you were still on edge. he eventually decided it was best to just pluck up the courage and talk to you, to make sure you didnt hurt yourself or anyone else.

"hey. can i sit with you for a second?" he asked, just after getting out of his seat and walking over to you.

he was lucky the slytherin gang liked to sit at the edge of the table otherwise he'd embarrass himself by walking the whole way around the table just to ask you that.

you looked up at the boy, then the whole gang saw it. the flash of pain and sadness that washed over your face at the sight of him, it was then they knew something had happened between you two.

"sure." you reply, monotonously. (idk if thats a word but it is now😭😭)

theo sat down next to you at the table, glancing over at all your friends before focusing his attention on you. "y/n, can i ask you a question?"

you looked at him expectantly, awaiting his answer.

"you know how you've become more.. emotional.. this past week? is it.. is it my fault?" he asks, sunding genuinely worried for you.

"maybe? i dont know." you sigh. "i just cant stop being so angry, god knows ive tried.." you say softly to him, your voice cracking as you looked up at him through teary eyes.

theo frowns slightly, realizing you were hurting more than you let on, which made him feel even worse than he already did. he takes your hand in his to comfort you, fully expecting you to shove it away but you dont.

"well, if its any consolation at all, i havent been in the greatest of moods recently." theo was never good with words, you saw he was trying to comfort you the only way he knew how.

"atleast you havent been snapping at poor first years just for existing.." you say, a guilty look washing over your face.

he chuckles slightly. "no but, im still not the way i usually am. i miss.. when i used to be able to make you smile.. among other things" he winked, it was a joke but you couldnt help but frown.

"can we talk about that at some point?" you ask, biting your lip softly.

"about what? me making you smile?" he asks, he was quite clueless at times but you loved him for it.

"no.. about what happened, between us." you sigh.

he sighs, he knew it would come to this eventually. "sure, do you wanna talk now?" he asks.

you nod, taking his hand and pulling him into an empty corridor. once both of you are in the corridor, theo takes a moment to think before speaking.

"y/n, im not embarassed of you, i couldnt ever be embarrassed of you tesoro.. im head over heels for you y/n." he gives you a warm smile before pausing. "but we both know i cant.. y'know."

you sigh, meeting his eyes. "im head over for you too theo.. i just.. wish it were different, i wish you could date without worrying about your reputation. but i get it, i do."

he shakes his head "no, you dont understand. i could care less about the reputation, i only care about how my father would react." he sighs.

"hes been pressuring the family's bloodline for years, and me marrying someone with a bloodline that.. isnt up to his standards is, i suppose, too much for him to bare." he pauses noticing you tearing up.

"please dont cry tesoro, m' sorry this cant be how we both want it to be.. but i.. i care too much about you."

"i care about you too theo, but if you dont think i'd be accepted by your father then im okay with it.." you sigh.

"no, no, the reason i'm so scared is because i know he'd approve… you're smart, from a good family, everything my father's been looking for… which is also why i'm terrified of messing things up." he sighs.

"i just… i don't want to ruin what we have right now even though i desperately want more than this." he sounds extremely conflicted.

you nod. "you could do anything theo, and i'd never leave you.. (fr y/n) a good relationship involves communication and if we have a fight, we need to talk about it maturely, if you'd be willing to try, i will too.." you say, hoping he'd take your offer up.

he seemed to think about it for a bit. "fuck it." he muttered.

"fuck what my father thinks about your bloodline, you're perfect for me tesoro." he smiles softly, it was a new sight, people rarely saw him smile.

"m' willing to try, for you. just promise me one thing." he says.

"mhm?" you hum, you couldnt trust your voice to speak, incase you squeal from pure excitement.

"that if things get rough, or we have problems, or even if it simply doesn't work out for us, that we can still be friends after, okay? i'd be miserable if i didn't at least have you by my side." his voice sounded genuinely vulnerable as he spoke.

"yeah of course, i would too.. i'd start yelling at first years for existing again.." you joke, laughing.

theo chuckles, the comment cheering him up slightly. "i'm going to tell you one more thing, even if my dad doesn't accept us there's one person in my family that does…"

"who?" you tilt your head in confusion.

"it doesnt matter who, what matters is that im willing to fight for us to be together, no matter what my father thinks. because i love you." his voice was a mix of nervousness and confidence, but you could hear the sincerity in there too.

"i... i love you too theo, i always have and always will." you smile, you could feel.your heart just about melting and you knew, right then and there, that he was the right one for you.

he smiles. "now that we've got all of this out of our way, do you want me to carry you back to the dorms? your feet must feel like they're about to fall off." he chuckles.

"all that stomping made my feet hurt so, if you dont mind.." you smile sweetly.

"of course, come here." he stands up and holds his arms out for you. "hop on my back and i'll carry you."

you laughed softly as you jumped on his back, thankfully for his fast reflexes, he caught you. theo walks through the castle with you on his back, he seemed more relaxed now that you guys talked everything through. he was talking but you couldnt focus, not with his scent filling your nose.

you hummed along, burying your head in the back of his neck, he chuckles. he walks you up to your room and your dorm mates look at the pair of you in confusion. they leave, sensing that the two of you wanted to be alone.

he sets you down on the floor softly, a smile thrown your way.

"is it okay if i kiss you?" he asks, taking a step towards you. (consent king 👰)

"yeah." you reply, almost breathlessly as you anticipated this moment.

he smiles before giving you a short but sweet kiss, resting his forehead against yours despite the height difference.

"i love you tesoro." he says sweetly.

"i love you too amoure." you smirk.

[mokafen1]

reset your journey

attempting to shift shouldnt feel like a never ending cycle.

shifting, per say, is not hard by any means, yet we over-complicate it anyway by focusing on the struggles instead of the goal. once we get tired of not doing any progress, shifting wont feel the same, that is usually followed by a break, but instead of a break, i recommend resetting your journey completely. let me explain:

the joy and excitement that you felt at the start of your shifting journey cant be brought back, but you can replicate it. in contrary to how we look at shifting today, we used to focus on the destination, not the struggles and frustration of trying to get there. weve accumulated so much information about shifting over the years that it doesnt even seem thrilling anymore, we were so clueless and i suppose that explains why shifting sounded so incredible, we had yet to really understand it.

i will give you some examples of what my definition of restarting your journey can look like, but really, its up to you to figure it out, i dont speak for the entirety of the community. the world is your oyster, you are in a greater position to take charge of your choices than everybody else.

so, in theory, finding an exemplification for what we see as something new and exciting should help. instead of giving up and taking breaks that usually bring you back to the same never ending cycle you thought you left behind, you can start doing things that you know will remind you of how fun shifting used to feel like when you first started.

for instance, i will write a schedule for how each and every single day in my OR will look like if we bring shifting into the equation. i will note it down that at 3pm i will affirm and when ill shift ill try *insert method here*. personally thats something i used to do when i first started, ironic as it is, i dropped it because i felt like i needed a break.

you will get there, it feels just as real as everything else around you right now. so what if you didnt shift yesterday? are you scared youre not gonna make it ever? you have nothing to lose. treat shifting as any other goal you might want to reach, because really, lets be honest, shifting isnt something wow, humans wouldnt be humans without the act of shifting itself. woooow that person shifted what a big deal, shut up. thats the kind of attitude you should have towards this situation. at the very start we were so motivated, so RESTART RESTART RESTART. restart your journey until it feels right.

im not saying breaks arent necessary, they can very well be, but on the other hand i think i should bring to light the reason why we get so burnt out that we feel the need to quit in the first place.

[ganondoodle]

this isnt as long as before but i just cannot stop thinking about this, why i dislike story and lore boils down to these main point

--the ending feels unsatisfying as hell even if i ignore everything i dont like about how the game treated zelda and ganondorf, the ending itself just feels, despite being presented as super epic an touching, incredibly empty to me and part of it is that it feels like an unearned return to status quo of course i didnt think zelda would stay a dragon and i actually wanted to help her, which is why i kept trying to hunt down impa since she said shes gonna search for a way for us to help zelda, bc i wanted to!! i was eager to help her!

i fully hoped and kinda expected that thered either be some kind of dragon dungeon (think, the water dragon from okami) tho that would be difficult since you can get items from her so i ended up thinking before going into the end thered be a mission with impa (or at least given to you from her) where she found answers in ancient scripts (that she told you she would look through) and that you need to find a special lil thing that will help zelda undragonfy, like some sort of ultra secret forbidden enigma stone able to reverse dragon transformations kinda deal (golden opportunity to make you go and talk to the yiga bc they might know or even own some ancient texts) that youd keep in your inventory until the very end and after you kill dragondorf (pretty mortal for becoming an immortal dragon huh) you take it out and use it, undragonfying zelda and ending in a similar epic falling and paralel to the beginning way

... and instead impa stays in the house and only has a few repeating dialog boxes and does nothing and you cant do anything bc in the end you just get randomly teleported (and stripped of your clothing AGAIN) into some weird ethereal plane somehow?? with the ghost of long ass dead sonia and apparently not as gone as i thought rauru (seriously i felt sad when he went poof at the end of the tutorial but i guess i shouldnt have) awkwardly blasting dragon zelda with some magic tm and its all reversed no problem (heck me for caring i guess) turns out helping her was killing an evil guy we never really knew and mineru just kinda says lol its bc time and light magic i guess lol as an explanation

like i really wanted to go and help zelda! i was motivated to do it and spent HOURS trying to find impa again but i wasnt allowed to do anything bc zelda gets saved by some deus ex machina bs in the end anyway, what a fool i was, of course killing the evil guy is the solution to everything >:( (and no i dont care if its meant as in uwu sonia and rauru wanted to help one last time uwu bc it doesnt change how unsatisfying it was to watch it all just kinda happen)

--point two is just how much totk feels like its trying to REPLACE botw instead of being a sequel, its not building on anything of it its ripping out the fundation and building its own thing in its place, like i was so excited to see what happened to the titans, and all the sheikah tech what they mabe had done in all that time now that theres a tech enthusiastic girl as the head of the monarchy, maybe even find out more about them and instead its just all ... gone with not explanation? theres isnt even a LAME explanation, its just gone?? you never find out what the ancient energy actually was, and why there were concentrations of it in the regions with the ancient furnace (well heck it didnt even have anything to do with ganondorf actualyl bc that would have been too interesting) bc that was so intrigueing?? like yeah where DID it come from and why is it there ?? and oh suddendly hey look theres an even MORE ancient and even MORE advanced civilization thats way COOLER and BETTER than the ancient sheikah now, they also built stuff everywhere and have been here ALL ALONG cant you see its everywhere!! and its the only thing everyone cares about all of the sudden, all evdidence of the ancient sheikah tech was scraped of the earth so there literally only being some guardian parts on top of the hateno lab feels like an oversight now bc everything lese was to thourohgly wiped of the map- for no reason even?? like im totalls fine with it being useless and not working anymore but .... why remove it like it was wiped from history?? and then they have the gall to mention the happenings of botw like, twice in the entire game but still just give you the most basic summary of it mentioned on a sidenote with again not even a hint what happened to all of it

wouldnt there have been the golden opportunity to use it to access the new parts and map points that changed?? like a shrine thats fallen into the underground, an access to caves and the underground in the broken and collapsed elevator tube of a sheikah srhine?? maybe even a broken interior of an old shrine, like the room you get put into with the puzzle and where the monk once were broken and half overgrown in the udnerground? some left over construction site where you can see oh thats how the ancient sheikah got all that tech underground, bc they all had access to it and built it there to then rise up when its needed? maybe even making use of the old sonau sites since they frequnetly built their srhines within those ruins?? that the ancient sheikah found em and put the ruins to use? to research it and built their own stuff from it? it wouldnt have to have any focus, literally just part of the enviroment even

really everything totk does is like -forget botw ever happend, look how much cooler and better i am, who cares about sheikah stuff sonau are the new cool guys that came out of nowhere but now apparently have been everywhere all along actually-

i LOVE botw and with it feeling much more like its attempting to replace botw instead of building its story and world further every reference to botw i found felt like a slap in the face instead, oh look where the shrine of life used to be isnt even a hint left of sheikah tech somehow, and also right under it is the lake of healing filled with sonau structure bc ACTUALLY they were here FIRST bc they are so cool omg you guys

dare i say it feel a little like they wanted to make an entirely different version of botw basically, but wanted to reuse the map and models so they just said yeah uhhhh its totally a sequel yeah yeha that makes sense, its not erasing botw and doing essentiall the same thing again but bigger cooler and better (tm) its just uuh a ...sequel ye.

[ma3mae]

MAEEE AAAA I NEED PART TWO OD YOUR "NO BRAIN, JUST HORNY" HC AKSJDJDDJ

Make a part two??🥺🫶Maybe Chuuya and Nikolai?

No brain, just horny! 2

Summary: Oh no! Your bf's acting all hot! What to do??? (Chuuya, Akutagawa, Nikolai, Fyodor)

Genre: fluff, crack, bit suggestive 🤓

Warnings: TO HORNY JAIL WITH YALL 💀✋

A/N: ANOONNN WKDJEKHFKS HERE U GO, SWEETIE 🤩🤩🤩 how can yall find rat man hot, idk man 💀 his parts rly short bc I CANT WRITE HIM so see it as a small extra 💀💀 not proofread btw 💀

Part 1

Nakahara Chuuya

😳 yall wanna get railed by this man, huh??

Cant blame u tho 💀😭 😭

honestly i think his reaction would prob depend on his mood, lowkey like rampo

Just that his reaction would be a bit more intense EHEH

idk if hes kinda busy at the moment and annoyed bc work is being a hoe, hed prob be all impatient like "Damn, doll. Im barely holding myself back as well so just wait a bit, will ya?"

As much as hed love to indulge u immediately, he still values his work yk 😔😔😔

ok yk what would be funny tho? Like he told u he'd be having a meeting at his work place and honestly, its not hard enough to know where it is bc its like legit one of the highest buildings (idk maybe even the highest???) in yokohama lmaoo

And you've been waiting for him to come back home after two weeks but noooo, he has to report everything to his boss 🤓🤓🤓🤓

so you're like "alright, im horny and been waiting for too long."Guess where we're going yall 😋😋😋😋???

TO HELL

Jk nah but we makin our way over there and lets just say they only know u as "the love of his life who def shouldnt be messed with if they wanna live" bc he'd go haywire AS HE SHOULD if anything happened to u 💀

Anyway we know when the meeting's being held so oopsie, we "accidentally" manage to find him in the hallway with some of his colleagues

"Oi, isn't that your girlfriend over there, Boss??" not only tachihara but everyone's confused on why u r even there??

Chuuya just whips his head around and doesnt know if he should just yeet himself outta the building or be happy to see you bc

YES

YES HE DID MISS YOU BUT WHY ARE YOU THEREEEE??💀💀💀💀💀💀😭😨

its especially bad if our boy still hasn't told you what hes actually doing bc no way in hell wants he to drag u into that shi 💀

Anyway you're just too excited so u ignore his to tomato face with a twitching eyebrow and you start to jog towards him but damn tf is that???

OF COURSE theres a bump sticking outta the carpet SMH SUE THE CLEANING STAFF😋

And obviously we all know whos gonna trip on that

But as embarassed as he is, your future hubby will make sure that you won't end up on the floor 💕💕

all you feel is a slight gust of wind and you can only open your eyes to see his gorgeous ones

"Don't just fall for me every time you see me, doll." LMAO thats so corny and he actually gets even more red when he realises wtf he just spouted out of his mouth but he couldnt help it 😭

Especially when hes holding you bridal style in his arms and you can feel him subconciously squeeze you tighter against him bc he missed his wifey

and we are just too whipped to stop ourselves from saying "Chuu chuu, i just couldnt wait anymore. Can we move this to our place? I'll be anything you want, even just a hole for you, mkay?"

HAHAHAHA WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS 💀

thats the EXACT question that goes through his mind as he just stares at you like 😳

But he cant deny that it made him feel hot, even down there a bit...

"Come in when you're done, Chuuya." is all you hear from HIS fking boss as he just sends the both of you a smile as he enters the room before closing the door

Help our man, hes so TORN

All he can do is take a deep breath, trying to stop his face from heating up bc its already hot enough as it is

He'll gently set you down but still keeps a secure grip around your waist with one arm

His gloved hand tilts your face slightly up and all you see is a sea of blue

Letting his gloved thumb slowly glide on your bottom lip

"You really like teasing me. Dont'cha sweetheart? Just give me 15 minutes and then we'll be at home. Honestly might scold you for your little stunt but it's not like you don't like that, right? But I gotta say...."

cherry sweet lips lock onto yours for what seems like only a second before feeling them on your forehead

"I did miss you pretty much...and I'll make it up to you. Thanks for your patience, love."

now YOU'RE the one who's face is about to explode and that annoying ass smirk of his isnt even helping u but oh well

He should be lucky that you're so in love with him and that his handsome looks always manage to hold you back from yelling at him out of embarassement 💀😳

He gives you a peck on the lips before giving you on last squeeze

"Only a little bit longer, okay? Will give you a proper kiss when we're at home."

He makes his way back but stops "Also I love you but please... wait at home next time. No need for anyone to see your cute ass here. Only mine to look at, yk.." the last part kinda gets muffled under his breath as he tilts his fedora down to hide his heated face but welp, ofc u heard everything 😋

Anyway, you let him go to his meeting with a wave with ur hand bc he did promise to make it up to you and your body would be tingling with excitement until yall get back home for yk what 😋😋😋💅

Akutagawa Ryunnosuke

ngl he'd make a similar expression to this pic here 💀 like hes fking constipated or smth

Give my man some time pls bc its his first relationship and he needs some minute to get it through his head that you feel sexually attracted enough to him to yearn for him, broo

"Can't you just... wait until we get home? Why now?" SKKSKS you think he sounds so pissed but hes just so confused 💀😭😭

lmao just came up with a ridiculous scenario

idk some random wannabe gang is stirring up some trouble in yokohama

And how do u resolve this problem as fast as u can?

By sending one of ur best men there who legit just slices them all in mere secs 😋

but wait whats that?

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

You just stare wide eyed at your boyfriend as he stands there infront of the mall, choking the living shit out of what seems to be some weird thug

"Ryu, what are you doing here?"

He just clicks his tounge out of annoyance and casually tosses the man to the side as he makes his way towards you

Stopping infront of you, you only see his furrowed eyebrows and the annoyed look on his face

But if you look closely, you'll see a glimpse of worry in them💕

"I could ask you the same thing. Didn't I telll you to stay at home? And specifically to not enter this area?"

You can only sheepishly laugh at his words and the huff at your answer wasnt that helpful

"Well, the mall here had your favorite tea on sale and I really wanted to surprise you with it!"

He just puts a hand on his face as you peek over his shoulder, only seeing whips and bits of rashomon dealing with the thugs while you boyfriend seems somehow unbothered by their presence, hell he was legit not even aknowledging them at this point 💀

"Let me just finish this real quick and then I'll take you home."

"But I still have t-"

A glare from him immediately zipped your mouth shut, deeming it unnecessary to argue with him any further since he could be very very stubborn

"Just stay behind me and wait."

If you had to be honest, watching your bf just casually beat the shit out of 20 or more men without even breaking a sweat made you feel really hot

He might be stoic, blunt or whatever everyone would call him but at the end of the day, he'd make sure you're well protected and cared for, even if it would take some nudges from you to guide him

He was a fast learner after all in every aspect of your relationship

And it wasn't until he poked your forehead that you snapped out of your trance, your face beet red and only for him to raise an eyebrow at you

"Don't tell me you got sick from just being outside for a bit? I really don't know how someone frail like you had managed to live for so long."

Harsh words yet the gentle press of his hand against your forehead was telling a different story

"Hm, you aren't heating up that much. But I'll still be taking you home."

"Can you stay with me then? Because honestly, watching that fight somehow made me really horny."

🤨 > 😳

"Are you kidding me? How does watching me beat the shit out of some random wannabe thugs make you horny?"

You can only groan at his answer but couldn't keep the smirk on your lips from growing as you noticed the red hue on his cheeks

"It's just hot to see how easy it was for you to just casually fend of all of them. Not to mention, that it's always nice to have a reminder what a strong and reliable lover I have. I'm just really lucky, I guess"

Ah, you smart vixen.

Always using his praise kink for your advantage and oh boy, he knows

But he just can't help his rising pulse at what your words just do to him

"W-Why-? Y-You-???"

Suddenly he grabbing your hand, he turns his body away from you, only his back in your sight as he continues to walk

"Ryu, are we walking ba-"

"Told you I'm taking you home. Someone has to make sure nothing happens to you since you probably wouldn't even know how to defend yourself."

"Aah, I see. Well I'll be sure to thank you properly when we're at home." 😋🤩

A hitched breath and his grip tightening around your hand really made it difficult not to laugh at him

Well, atleast it was nice knowing that you weren't the only one eager to get home asap 💀💀

At the end, you thanked him as promised and he made sure to make you feel safe as always

"Oh, thank you for the tea... I guess.." he'd mumble in your ear as he pressed your back against his chest, his arms tucked comfortably around you. 🤭

Nikolai Gogol

erm 😨 how about no?

Do u not value life?

Jk but his goofy ass would NEVER let u rest if u even show him a tiny bit on how horny you are 💀💀💀💀

bro's like "ew human desires, they only bind u" lowkey (not as hard as fyodor but yk what i mean)

but hes sadly down bad for his future or maybe already wifey so 😉 how could he 😉 say no 😉

like idk lets say for whatever reason u r also part of their rat gang 💀 and its honestly a big headache to endure his weird and annoying antics every day

But thats what made u fall in love bc u have bad taste 😋😋😋 same tho

is prob gonna tease u about that too like "Oh, Y/N~ So many men out there and yet you still chose me?? Either you're just very desperate or you just don't care at all! But don't worry, I'm more than happy to be the one who's on your mind all day 🤩🤩🤩" he says as he's casually bombing a whole building and kills hundreds of people 🤩

Thats for sure gonna be blowing ur mind for weeks 💀 IM SORRY

throw him into a trash can or smth 💀 jkjk maybe im not 💀💀

anyway back to the scenario 💀

lets say hes as always acting like the 🤡 he is and disrupting everyone's life by being plain annoying

Ok so fyodor threatened to kill him for the 100th time? Check.

Sigma's crying in his office bc he just escaped random pairs of scissors flying at him for the whole day? Check. someone has to cut that atrocious hair away, okur💀💀💀

Getting hit by gf after randomingly stealing kisses from her?

Che-

"But why won't you let me kiss you, Y/N????"

Dodging his attempts for what would seem the 30th time for the day, you hastily continued to make your way to Sigma, a box of self made cookies in your hand.

"You've been harassing everyone for the entire day as always! And don't get me started on what you tried to do to Sigma!"

You could only hear a whine as fast footsteps tried to outrun yours, you wanting nothing but wanting to somehow lift Sigma's spirits up since no one else would make their time to comfort him after the inhuman pranks your boyfriend couldn't refrain from doing

"But he's just so funny, you know! How could anyone resist not teasing him all day?!"

"Teasing doesn't mean endangering his life! Only because YOU don't like his hair!"

"Hmm, but won't you atleast give me one kiss before you go?"

"nope, never. Bye!"

Aah, you really shouldn't have challenged him 😨

"Well, then I guess you won't be needing that then!"

"Huh?"

A

"NIKOLAI GOGOL?! GIVE ME THE FUCKING BOX BACK!!" only hearing maniacal cackling quickly distancing itself from you, as he ran away with the box in his hand

Ah, he really was blessed with the perfect ability for him

Too stubborn and annoyed to realise his intentions, you quickly followed him, the urge of wanting to punch him pulling you towards him like a magnet

"A chase is what he wants? Okay, he'll get it." 😋😋

Knowing immediately that he made it too easy for the both of you as he nonchalantly laid on your shared bed, crumbs on his cheeks as he enjoyed your cookies, his mask casually laying next to him.

"You are more than an annoying child, you know that?"

"Yep but I don't care! Also how dare you only make cookies for your friend when you've got such a loving partner like me!"

A groan slipped out of you as you walkes over to him, earning yourself a "HEY?!" as you snatched the box away from him

"If you wanted some, you could have just asked like a normal person. I wouldn't have minded sharing some and Sigma probably not."

"Ugh, like a normal person? You know that's just boring~ buuuut if you really want me to then-"

You felt a pull at your wrist, making your chest hitting his as you landed on top of him, affectively stradling him

Both of your hands at the side of his head as you tried to lift yourself up, yet the arm around your waist stopping you, your faces only mere inches away from each other

A smirk splayed on his face as he wiped the crumbs away from his lips with his gloved thumb

Pressing it softly against your lips, the movement ingrained in your body as you opened them without any protest

a low chuckle at your cute actions as you licked the crumbs of his thumb before releasing it with a soft 'pop'

"Is that normal enough for you, my dove?"

Not letting the heat on your face and body stop you from throwing remarks at him, you merely stated "That wasn't asking, just plain seduction at this point."

Letting his eyes trail over your body and the hands next to him, tightly clutching the sheets only spurred him further on.

"Well, I've got your attention now, right?"

"You're lucky that I love you."

"Isn't it good to know we're both obesessed, dearie?"

A whine left his lips as you tucked at his hair at that statement, grazing your teeth across his neck before harshly biting on it.

"Well, then end what you've started then."

"Gladly."

Getting hit by Y/N after randomingly stealing kisses from them? Hair pulled, make out sessions and more after annoying them? Double Check.

Fyodor Dostojevski

💀 im dead, you're dead, we're all DEAD

ok jk he wouldnt kill u bc even if he wont admit it immediately, he loves u 😋

but why would u feed his annoying god complex like that 😨😨

but guess what 😋 youve always had bad taste so why not be together with a terrorist 🤩

Ur only dates would be either sitting in his stinky room full of computers as hes been sitting there for days and you're chilling on his lap

or yall actually go outside to ruin someone's life 💅

and honestly, what better way to confirm that humans r horrible af when he sees you get turned on by his horrid acts 💀💀💀

"I just took a life infront of your very eyes and all you say is how hot that is? Well, aren't you ruined to the point of return? But that's what makes you so interesting, I guess."

UGHH IDK HOW YALL CAN LOVE HIM 💀💀💀

i think it would be rly difficult to actually turn him on as well at first

Or catch him off guard tbh bc all you'd get is a condescending smirk of him just teasing you

He'll prob also just call u out about how horny you are but its ok bc he loves having that effect on you 🤩

"Is it seeing someone's eyes lose their light? Killing the gifted because the world would be purer without them? Tying them up and choking the life out of them? Or is it because I am the one doing these acts? Planning it all out, only for you to witness it? How about I'd do it to you, hmm?"I FEEL ITCHY AFTER WRITING THAT 💀

tbh it depends how "horny" u r tbh bc he'd prob make you beg for it first by just telling u off n stuff until you cant take ir anymore

Like if you want him then SHOW him how much you want him 🤩

he prob has not that much of a stamina but he'd make up for it with technique what am i writing rn😭😭😭😭

anyway you'd def be satisfied but he'd prob make you work for it first before tending to ur "needs"

im crying i hate this

😭

A/N: DAMN already hit 400 followers?? thinking of maybe doing smth for that, idk what tho. Got too many ideas 💀 and lmao sorry for the radio silence 💀 writers block and life, we love it.

[hum-suffer]

I wish to share this on my own blog but I know I will get a ton of hate from people I call 'friends'. You can ignore this rant and all, I am just leaving this in your inbox because one of your post was so crucial in my disillusion process. It was that one post about how many people lost their lives for chanting "Jai Siya Ram" The whole RJB thing, I was always on the fence about it. Leaning slightly towards the "Why cant we build schools and hospitals there instead!" team. While even with my biased views I still accepted that the Hindu side had a right to grieve over the temple that was razed all those years back- despite acknowledging that it was an injustice, I still felt they shouldnt raze down mosques and that the whole RJB grandeur should have been muted etc. My own parents constantly fed me one sided views. That it was all a Brahmin supremacist movement. That it was a movement to oppress the minorities. That it was never even a real issue but instead artificially manufactured for political reasons. Like any other kid I felt my parents can never be wrong. Unfortunately, in that perception I was the one in wrong. Sorry this is turning lengthy but it is weighing heavy on me. The whole excitement that was built around 22nd Jan- it appeared to be an overhyped media gimmick to me. However as the date neared, I saw the saffron flags adorning every street, almost every flat in my society and every shop in my area. The strangest part of all this, I live in a non Hindi state. We were always told this whole RJB movement was a movement of 'illiterate Northies'- that was the language I had grown up hearing. However what I saw was the opposite. Every street temple was adorned. I had never seen this level of festivities even in peak festivals like Diwali. Forget that, even the street hawkers had decorated their cart thingies. Poorest of the poor slums had saffron flags. How could it be if the whole thing was artificially created? Our house maid asked for a day off for that day so that she can watch pran pratishtha event. These arent 'illiterate northies' The highest residential towers here had diwali lightings. Fanciest of the malls in my city, Brand shops, cars- everything your eye could see had some symbolism of RJB festivities. Almost like everyone was under Ram's spell. On tumblr, while scrolling I then came across that post of your which I mentioned earlier. And I couldnt scroll past it. I decided to read on it. Why were people killed for chanting that one name? Was it really that deep? Are Hindus still carrying scars of that event that many have said didnt even happen? Is Ram really that relevant? Is he even real? So many temples for him and yet why are they fighting for that one? Cant they just pray in the other temples? And when I digged, the amount of skeletons that jumped out were the worst reality check I have had so far in life. I was a mess, I still am. It is atrociously horrific. The more I read the truth of all the events, of our past, of our present struggles- it is so unbearable.

Its been two months since the event and I could only bring myself to send this to you today. I am beyond horrified with the reality. I went to the temple near my society on the 22nd. The crowd there was spellbound. When Ram Lalla's face was shown on the projector, I expected everyone to raise Jai Shree Ram slogans but everyone was so quiet. Crying. Sobbing. It was bizarre to witness it in real time. I teared up watching all of the people sob around me. I didnt even care for him then, in fact Shri Ram's character as I had known of him until then was one of "that misogynist king who wronged his wife". I was fairly negative to him and yet I too couldn't help but sob on that day while looking at him. He appeared so real, so adorable-so alive! I had always seen the gods as just stone but on that day his eyes- I swear they looked alive. I tried hard to see the stone but i couldnt overlook the god. The smile, the eyes, the cheeks- so sober, so lovable.

That was the day I witnessed in real time who he really is. He is the king that united everyone across the country behind one cause. Poorest of the poor and Richest of the rich- they all stood side by side that day. Everyone celebrated, everyone cried. Thats who Ram is to the people of this country. Ayodhya is hundreds of miles away from where I live and yet on that day it felt like we were all standing right there in this court. I couldnt even decide what i felt about it for many days after that but on the 22nd I found myself healing from some wound that I didnt even know I needed to heal from. Hearing about that one scrap-collector lady that donated a measly 20 rupees for the Ram temple; about that one gold merchant who spent a fortune on the golden gates of the temple- it was extremely eye opening. People of this country are so mad in love with him. Rightly so. He accepts them all. As the story goes, he doesnt differentiate between a little squirrel or the mighty vaanars. Two months later, I am now desperately seeking his refuge too. I dont know if I would ever be able to live the euphoria of that again however the very fact that I could feel his presence despite all of my reservations against him for all of my life means that he doesnt hold a grudge against me. He included me in the celebrations and now I wish someday I can feel attached to him the way all those people who laid their lives for his cause did. Jai Siya Ram

First of all, my dear, never be sorry to contact me in any way. I encourage it, i promise, and you will never find judgement with me for any reason, provided that you are respectable, which, you are. And as someone who has also been through some serious disillusionment, I would never ignore this.

I absolutely understand the apprehension in sharing your new views in your blog due to the response from others and i would not pressure you at all to do that. You can take your time and until then, my ask box and dms are always open for you.

As far as Ram Janmbhoomi goes, I was unaware of it as well, for almost all my life. I was raised to turn my head the other way, should I notice things that might be controversial. My father was the first one in my family to break out of the mold and search up the atrocities that have happened in our country, especially against Hindus, as those are the ones that the general media seems eager to push under the rug. From him, i started learning more and later it became my own idea to never be unaware of what has been and is being inflicted on Hindus.

Personally, when I was younger, I felt similar about Shri Ram. Why did he abandon his wife? If he abandoned her on the word of a washerman, what does it mean for us, mere humans?

It is only when I got older that i understood that this part was not in the original Ramayan, at all. This is from Tulsidas Ji's Ramcharitmanas. And it has been popularised extremely to the stretch that it lost the meaning. Tulsidas Ji's narration of Shri Ram abandoning his wife is, in a way, to show that Shri Ram was the epitome of control and law and abided by the law as well as the wishes of his citizens even when it was not beneficial to him. Agnipariksha, in the Ramayan, was to exchange a illusion of Mata Sita with the real Mata Sita. This, in my idea, is because Mata Sita is Lakshmi herself. She would not stay in a place where women are not respected.

What I mean is, our texts are large and elaborated with metaphors. Sometimes, interpolation as well as local folk tales also become a part of our interpretation of such texts. I am not giving you excuses, but reasons for your misinterpretation of Shri Ram.

I'm so very proud of you for taking initiative for yourself and trying to see the situation happening around yourself without bias. It is extremely amazing that you took up a search of your own in answers and decided to find the truth, despite any previous reservations you had.

Shri Ram protects and nurtures us, my dear. He will not hold a grudge against you, ever. Trust your instincts and give into him, connect with him in any way that you feel is best. For example, visit a temple some day. Read up about him sometimes. Talk with him, like you would with an elder brother. Understanding Ram, in a way, means understanding yourself.

I'm honoured that a post of mine could help you question the bias views you previously held. Thank you so much for coming to me, my dear. And my ask box as well as my DMs are always open, you ever want to talk.

Jai Siya Ram.

[td-yuri-takes]

I LOVE SAMELLA...... read twinning with a twist and havent been the same since but they really do just work really well together if you think ab it. with both coming from bad family situations (only implied for ella tho i think) and needing everyone to like them all the time. sammy is really hurt that she's always painted in a bad light no matter how hard she tries to fix it, while ella doesnt realize how she comes across as annoying and that people dont really like her until sugar flat out tells her, and she starts spending so much time trying to get sugar to like her. its just interesting bc sammy feels defeated and ella is just determined to both be herself and be someone who everybody likes.(though, and this might just be pulling from twinning with a twist a lot, it does feel like she uses her princess fantasy as escapism. possibly partly bc shes Not oblivious i bet she realizes people dont like her that much, she just doesnt know what to do about it. if they dont like her when shes trying to be the perfect princess and polite and kind what is so bad about her that even if shes nice they dont want her?) sammy IS nice, and she doesnt hide it, but somehow ends up taking the fall for amy's behavior (even tho amy was outright awful to everyone?? this plot confused me so bad. but i guess scarlett and amy dont care, topher probably just doesnt care or Loves to stir the pot, max and rodney are probably too dense, and we know how jasmine reacted) and she has such a complex about it its Bad. i honestly love sammy i wish they treated her better. i think ella shouldve also had a last straw snap like sammy did, just absolutely go off on someone about why they dont like her. isnt she trying hard enough? whats wrong with her? and sammy might see that as inspiration and really admire ella for it, and spend more time together (without amy this is important.) then later maybe sammy asks ella for tips and she tells her that she seems like a really nice person !! and maybe likens sammy to a princess as well, because ella didnt have amy on her team influencing her perception of sammy. so that like shocks sammy and she realizes that if ella can do it she can, and if ella sees her as someone worthy just knowing Sammy, then maybe she is, and has worth on her own outside of amy. i love jasmine but i dont love the way she just lets it happen either. i think sammy believed jasmine when she said she was good, but couldnt help but feel like its only because she feels sorry for her, and not really based on her own merit because amy has never let sammy have anything for herself, not even her friendship with jasmine. so being on different teams from ella and still bonding could give them a chance to establish that connection without amy at all, which might make sammy feel more secure that ella truly means what shes saying. i think one of the conversations would happen after ella is voted off, and sammy would get mad, saying that ella was genuinely sweet and they couldnt see past the fact that she was also 'too weird', and then say her situation was similar in that they judge her on the surface of what amy tells them without ever trying to get to know her at all, and she tells amy shes done trying to compete with her. her worth shouldnt depend on whether amy or their mother thinks shes good. maybe this could also relate to ella's brief crush on dave, and how she feels betrayed by sky for being so excited when she was clearly upset about it when she thought they were friends, and she also realizes dave didnt fit the mold she wanted him to. i think sammy would comfort her after, and this shouldve been the start of ella accepting she cant spend her whole life in a fantasy or she wont make real connections. and later when they get together sammy might confess she worries about not being enough for ella, not being able to fit the princess life. but ella tells her that their relationship isnt a fantasy, its real. she wants to take it slow, and not put any expectations onto her. like, character growth. IDK sorry for the rant i just like them

this might just be my favorite thing

[quodekash]

good morning, friends! im exhausted and only got like four hours of sleep, but at least im (kind of) mentally prepared to revisit the episode, so (you probably know the drill by now), here’s all my commentary and thoughts and stuff from the episode! 

i feel like its important for everyone to know that i made myself an ice tea at 11:30pm because i knew i wouldnt be able to survive the episode alone 

(and dont suggest that the ice tea is the cause of the lack of sleep, if anything it’s the only reason i got to sleep) 

i was very nervous in the beginning cos i was pretty sure photjanee wouldnt be homophobic but also what if she is 

props to her for not asking tinn cos he was visibly nervous/afraid 

and gun told gim and she didnt even say anything at first. she just looked so freaking proud, then hugged him and said “whoever you love, i love” and i love her so much she’s a freaking perfect mother 

PHOTJANEE’S NEURODIVERGENT AND AWESOME HUSBAND who is still nameless IS SITTING NEXT TO HER SO HE’S GONNA SAY SOME HELPFUL AND SUPPORTIVE WORDS 

“were you afraid to hear the answer” im sensing a recurring themeeee (if youve forgotten and somehow havent rewatched the show over and over again, in episode 6 gun kept saying he was afraid to hear the answer of who tinn liked) 

“i think if he’s ready, he’ll tell you himself. give it time. time for tinn and yourself.” I LOVE THIS MAN 

also side note: she’s really pretty 

i smell a sponsorship 

a canon printer sponsorship 

theyre so subtle with their sponsorships 

“by the way, this printer is so convenient, it can be used with any operating system, right?” NICE ONE GEM, REAL SUBTLE, NO ONE WILL KNOW 

TIWPOR TINNGUN DOUBLE DATE STUDY DATE ONCE AGAIN 

AND SOUNDWIN BEHIND THEM (and also yo and pat i guess) 

tinngun are always reminiscent of patpran, but so much throughout this episode it literally felt like i was watching bad buddy 

GUN FINALLY KNOWS THAT TIW KNOWS AND GUN IS LIKE ‘wait did you tell him’ AND TIW JUST GOES 

“do you think this nerd would succeed in getting your love without my help”

AND HE’S SO ICONIC AND HE’S SO RIGHT AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OH MY GOSH 

also rip four and tinn’s homosecuality, they have to pretend to date for this music video 

also also WE GET TO SEE FOUR AND HER GIRLFRIEND AGAIN OMG I LOVE THEM 

THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY 

LOOK AT THEM AND THEIR IN-LOVE-NESS 

cant wait for the homophobia this episode /sarc

“we just have to wait until the dinosaurs are extinct and humans rule the world” TIW LITERALLY JUST SAID WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR ALL THE BOOMERS TO DIE OUT AND THEN GAYS CAN RULE THE WORLD THIS IS FREAKING HILARIOUS 

I CANT EXPLAIN IT, THEIR FACES ARE SO REMINISCENT OF PATPRAN AND MORE SO THAN USUAL 

does- does this count as a first kiss 

that was so sudden 

um

help??? 

theyre so cute tho i love them 

PROM DAY (looking back, how does so much happen in this one day) 

✨gotta love being outed✨

GUN JUST TOLD THE BROSKIS 

and por is, naturally, very excited 

but also somehow very oblivious 

i had a feeling yo knew already 

apparently sound told win ages ago (when? idk man) 

pat having a suspicion about it is actually very surprising 

“you and you, what’s going on? you’ve been weird” 

FINALLY THE SCENE OF THEM HOLDING HANDS AND SHOWING THE GUYS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR WAY TOO FREAKING LONG 

AND THEY BOTH LOOK SO FREAKING HAPPY 

IM DYING 

i need to ingrain every soundwin scene from this episode into my brain cos there’s so much of it and i want to see it all forever please 

tis raining and theyre under an umbrella and soundwin did it first 

okay so. it sucks that they were outed. and people shouldnt take photos of other people and then post it on social media because they can, cos thats an invasion of privacy and is not cool. 

on the other hand, everyone seems thrilled by it and tinngun aren’t hurt by it happening so i guess its okay 

in general tho people should not do this cos it could go very badly 

but this is a bl drama not real life so its fine 

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE A NEUROSPICY GUY 

they did the happy arms 

and theyre sitting cross-legged on top of a table 

i love you random side character 

PAT AND POR BEING ALL HAPPY AND EXCITED IS HILARIOUS I LOVE THEM 

“no one cares about people’s sexual orientation these days. its a new world. right, pumpkin??” GUI4HERIH4IIGU (note to past me: it gets worse. you’re gonna progressively die even more) 

EW PEOPLE ARE MESSAGING PHOTJANEE SAYING TINN’S GONNA RUIN THE SCHOOL’S REPUTATION AND STUFF 

...what series was it 

did- did you watch bad buddy, photjanee 

did tinn’s parents watch bad buddy 

ive decided they watched bad buddy until proven otherwise 

‘its down to us whether we’re as kind to our son as those in the series’ THIS MAN HAS THE WISEST KINDEST WORDS AND I WANT TO GIVE HIM A BIG HUG 

tiw and tinn are actually really sad about kajorn leaving the student council which is slightly confusing (not cos i hate him, im finding it increasingly difficult to hate him, i just didn’t think tiw and tinn actually liked kajorn) 

‘people are arguing whether it’s guntinn or tinngun’ 

... 

im gonna say it 

i have to say it 

you cant stop me from saying it 

soundwin did it first 

(technically it was satangwinny vs winnysatang but thats not the point) 

there i said it 

hah 

babes she’s known for months 

(but yes absolutely if you’re comfortable telling her and you think you should, go right ahead :] )

i hate this teacher 

i would like to punch him please 

luckily i know, thanks to the preview last episode, that he does, in fact, get punched, so it’s all good 

KAJORN IS IN THE ROOM WHILE GUN IS DISTRESSED 

I REPEAT, JORN IS THERE 

yay tinn is there with gun while he cries 

thank you tinn for existing 

NO 

GO AWAY TEACHER 

DON’T ENTER THE ROOM 

"im sorry, i was just joking around with my friend, i didnt mean to insult you" yeah, okay, well thats only part of the problem. other problems are: a. the fact that you had to say such a horrible thing in order to joke around with your friend. if that's the kind of humour your friend has, that person should not be your friend, unless it's also your humour, in whcih case, that isnt a sincere apology. b. it's not just that you insulted gun. you also insulted an entire community of people, of students, of human beings, who just want to exist and live as people doing what they want to do. you cant say something homophobic and then only apologise because it hurt one person close to you. you say something homophobic, and then you apologise - in a way that you GENUINELY MEAN - and say you had no intention of hurting so many people, including gun. or, alternatively, dont say the homophobic thing in the first place. c) you’re a freaking TEACHER. a TEACHER is there to SUPPORT and CARE for ALL of their students. a TEACHER should not be saying terrible things where ANYONE could overhear. if a TEACHER cannot be supportive for ALL STUDENTS, then they should not be a teacher. (im a huge defender of teachers cos theyre human beings with lives and families and hobbies and theyre more than just the adult human that tells you 2 plus 2 is 4. but i am also a huge defender of students cos theyre human beings and also children and theyre still developing. and i am especially a defender of students and an offender of teachers when the teacher clearly hates children or isnt a good teacher or should not at all be a teacher. so this isnt me hating all teachers, i love teachers, i could talk about how unappreciated they are for hours. but i cannot stand it when a teacher behaves the way this teacher did. i hate it so freaking much.) 

THE TEACHER WAS “SHOCKED” COS GUN IS A “ROCKSTAR” SO THE TEACHER “THOUGHT YOU WERE MANLY” 

THATS NOT AN EXPLANATION NOR IS THAT AN APOLOGY 

GENDER AND SEXUAL IDENTITY ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FREAKING THINGS 

AND EVEN THEN, GENDER AND GENDER EXPRESSION ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FREAKING THINGS 

LIKING MEN DOESNT MAKE SOMEONE ANY LESS ‘MANLY’ SO STFU AND GET FIRED ALREADY 

FREAKING YES 

GOOD

HELL YES 

KAJORN PUNCHED THE TEACHER BEFORE TINN COULD 

THIS IS EVERYTHING I COULDVE ASKED FOR OR NEEDED 

I LOVE IT SO MUCH 

I LOVE KAJORN SO MUCH 

IM FINALLY ALLOWED TO NOT HATE HIM AND IM VERY GLAD ABOUT IT 

DAMN SOUND 

I MEAN I AGREE BUT WOW I WASNT EXPECTING THAT 

‘i HoPe YoU giVe A fAiR jUdGeMeNt oN tHiS cAsE’ bro its not court 

and absolutely she’ll give fair judgement 

shes freaking awesome and i love her 

also what does probation mean 

“don’t use violence to solve problems. do you understand?” okay, yes, im 100% on board with you, i completely agree, but, hear me out here: homophobia. 

I LOVE PHOTJANEE SO MUCH 

COLD AS ICE SHE GOES “if you’re not satisfied with my judgement, write a complaint. but dont forget to add every detail truthfully” 

SHE’S SO ICONIC 

TRULY A SLAY 

“LET GO OF MY SON. as principal, all i can do is submit a report regarding your behavior to those in authority. but as a mom, MY SON CAN LIKE WHOEVER HE LIKES. STAY OUT OF IT. if i hear anything filthy from you again, your penalty will go far beyond this” I FELT HER ANGER 

I LOVE HER WITH ALL MY SOUL 

SHES FREAKING AWESOME 

and kajorn looks so happy and content 

i love him 

PROM TIME AND THE STIMS ARE STIMMING REAL HARD RN 

WHY AM I CRYING WHILE LISTENING TO YOU’VE GOT MA BACK? THIS ISN’T A SAD SONG 

C O M E   C L O S E R 

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH POR 

OOOOO NEW SONG 

SOUNDWIN CHEEK KISS 

IM LITERALLY CRYING THEYRE SO CUTE 

(note to past me: it’s gonna get worse) 

aww gun’s in the audience singing directly to tinn this is so cute 

GRBRHKBGRIUBJROBUR

I WOULDVE BEEN CONTENT WITH JUST SOUND KISSING WIN BUT IM NOT COMPLAINING 

I AM THE OPPOSITE OF COMPLAINING 

GIREBVIRUB

TINN AND GUN ARE GOING ON THE STAGE TOGETHER HAND IN HAND 

HOW IS THIS SO FREAKING PERFECT 

AND SOUND’S GOT A GUITAR SOLO COS HE’S AWESOME LIKE THAT 

HAPPINESS 

BIG HAPPIES 

MUCH OF THE VERY HAPPINESS 

their hugs always look so comfy 

someone in the audience asked if theyre real and gun said nothing but hashtag #MySchoolPresident and it’s still so funny to me 

its like theyre telling us the watchers 

like USE TEH HASHTAG, PLEASE 

and we’re like WEVE ALREADY BEEN DOING THAT, CALM DOWN 

ew old teachers 

shut up with your judgy faces 

no one cares 

YAY FOR YOUNG PROGRESSIVE TEACHERS WHO DONT CARE WHAT THE BOOMERS THINK 

cos, as tiw said, the boomers will die out soon and then gays can rule the world 

can the episode just end here 

i dont want to go through the emotional turmoil of whats coming 

cos i know its coming 

there’s gonna be a graduation scene 

and im very scared 

my mentally ill butt can never be okay for graduation scenes 

and yet my mentally ill butt keeps consuming media set in the senior year of high school 

DAMN THIS ENDING IS GONNA BE LONG 

31:48 MINUTES 

STRAP IN YOUR SEATBELTS COS WE’RE GONNA BE IN FOR ONE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER 

NO 

WAIT NO LET THERE BE MORE 

JUST ONE MORE 

OR TWO 

OR AN ENDLESS AMOUNT 

DON’T LET IT BE OVER 

PLEASE 

“its the last day of our high school lives.” ACK SHOOT FREAK FRENCH GUSTAV AND SHOELACES AND TURTLES AND FREAKING SHOOT NOODLES WHAT THE FLIP 

AH SHOOT I FORGOT ABOUT KAJORN BEING A YEAR YOUNGER THAN THEM 

HE HAS TO CARRY ON THEIR LEGACY WITHOUT THEM 

HES FREAKING ALONE 

IDEK IF HE HAS ANY FRIENDS 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ooo we’re gonna get another pool scene soon 

NO STOP IT WITH THE SIGNED SHIRTS I CANT TAKE IT 

‘no one ever asks if i can sign their shirts :[’ ‘sign my shirt’ 

‘ILL WRITE DOWN WHAT I FEEL THAT IM TOO AFRAID TO SAY’ I FREAKING LOVE THEM 

WAIT 

SHOOT

I KNOW I ASKED FOR IT BUT I DIDNT EXPECT THEM TO ACTUALLY DO IT 

IM IN SHOCK 

LITERALLY CRYING 

WHAT THE FLIP 

HOLY FREAK 

NO WAY 

THIS IS THE END 

THAT’S IT

IM DEAD

GONE

DECEASED

THEY FREAKING KISSED 

RIGHT THEN AND THERE 

PROPERLY KISSING 

BEFORE TINNGUN 

WHAT 

IS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING 

OW I PINCHED MYSELF 

I LITERALLY CANT BELIEVE IT 

“i wont let you kiss first you barstool” HOW ARE THEY SO- GJRBGIKRB

BUT ONCE ISNT ENOUGH 

OH NO, THEY HAVE TO KISS AGAIN 

JUST TO MAKE SURE IM DEAD 

THEY ALREADY STABBED ME A COUPLE TIMES 

THEN THEY KISSED AND THEY SLICED ME IN HALF WITH A REALLY COOL SWORD 

AND NOW THEYRE SLICING MY HEAD OFF JUST TO MAKE SURE IM DEAD 

‘STOP TRYING TO LOOK HANDSOME IDIOT BECAUSE ITS MAKING MY HEART SO WEAK’ I CANT WITH THESE TWO 

I LITERALLY CANT EVEN PROCESS THAT THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED 

SURELY IM DREAMING RIGHT NOW

THERES NO WAY THEY ACTUALLY FREAKING KISSED 

AND TIWPOR RIGHT AFTER??? IT’S TOO MUCH POWER 

AWWWWWW NOOK AND YOOOO

BUT POOR PAT IS COMPLETELY LONELY 

PLS LET PAT NOT BE LONELY FOREVER 

THEY BETTER GIVE PAT SOME HAPPINESS 

NO?? THEYRE JUST GONNA CHANGE THE SCENE LIKE THAT??? OKAY THEN???????? 

no but why wasnt tiwporpat an option 

they couldve gone down the polyamory route 

as much as i love poking fun at pat being lonely, i want him to be happy, and tiwporpat makes sense 

(i must also say that patjorn also makes sense and i wouldnt have been mad if they went down the tiwporpat route or the patjorn route. theyre both amazing. but no, they went with pat is lonely forever and its really freaking sad. thanks guys.) 

OH TINNGUN POOL SCENE 

POOL SCENE NUMBER... IDEK AT THIS POINT 

they should kiss btw 

GUN WROTE #MYSCHOOLPRESIDENT ON TINN’S SHIRT AND TINN WROTE ‘APPROVED BY THE SCHOOL PRESIDENT’ ON GUN’S SHIRT AND ITS SO FREAKING PERFECT 

IT COMES FULL CIRCLE SO BEAUTIFULLY 

THEY LITERALLY COULDNT HAVE WRITTEN ANYTHING GREATER 

I FREAKING LOVE THIS SHOW 

tinngun still have not kissed 

NO PLS I CANT TAKE IT WITH THE HEARTFELT SPEECHES 

HOW DO YOU CRY SILENTLY 

NO THEYRE PLAYING ONE LAST SONG TOGETHER 

STUFF YOU 

I LITERALLY DONT KNOW IF IVE EVER CRIED HARDER THAN I DID WHILE WATCHING THAT FREAKING FINAL SONG 

tinn’s father is so neurodivergent i love him 

OMG GUN IS ACTUALLY SITTING AT THEIR TABLE AND HAVING A MEAL WITH THEM 

IT’S NOT IMAGINARY GUN 

IT’S REAL GUN 

THIS IS CRAZY 

PFFFFFFT TINN’S DAD HELPED HIM WRITE THE SONG FOR GUN 

THAT’S FREAKING HILARIOUS 

OH MY GOSH THEYRE ABOUT TO KISS- 

darn you gun and your bloody hand in the way 

too many times 

this has happened far too many times 

just kiss 

please

YES 

GOOD 

EXCELLENT 

but also soundwin did it first 

ANYWAY THAT WAS PERFECT 

OH MY GOSH 

IM NOT OKAY 

(the funniest thing about me constantly saying ‘im dying’ or ‘im dead’ is that my fitbit hasnt been able to pick up on my heartrate for literally hours. like, since i started watching the episode. it just stopped working. and if your heart isnt beating, you’re quite literally dead.) 

final thoughts / main takeaways from that episode (and therefore the whole show) 

tinngun are very cute 

tinngun are patpran variants (we already knew this but still) 

tiwpor havent been dating the whole time but there was definite crushing for a very long time 

pat is sad and lonely and pls let there be tiwporpat or patjorn at some point in the future 

we need a sequel please and thank you 

soundwin are freaking perfect 

this show is perfection 

im mentally ill 

that teacher sucks 

tinn’s dad is neurodivergent and i love him 

photjanee is amazing and awesome and i love her 

gim is the greatest mother and i love her 

i love all of these characters way too much  and, last but not least, 

soundwin did it first. 

[wisecrackingeric-2]

Oooooooooo. Oh no. I’m breaking my super mysterious persona to use tumblr as a personal trauma dumping diary aur naur !!!!!!!! Uh vent under cut but I really R E A L L Y Need to reiterate I’m not looking for pity or sympathy at all I just need a place to write all this down!!!!!! If you have advice ofc that’s always welcome but I’m not trying to centre myself at all or make anything about me I just need a space to vent !!!!!

I’m obviously not the first person to say this but I REALLY REALLY HATE the passage of time. I hate that it’s almost the new years and all of my art and posts and other peoples art is gonna be from last year or just have the ‘2023’ label on it. I hate that people are going to move on from my interests and I am TERRIFIED that IIIIIII may also move on. That scares me so unbelievably bad. I hate it so so much I hate that I can’t just pause time or pause my anxiety or autism or ocd to make me stop worrying for two seconds. I hate that so many things are gonna be in the past- like what do you MEAN re4r is gonna be a YEAR OLD in March of next year???????? I cant do that shit man!!!!!!! I can’t see people move on!!!!!!!!!

I HATE being reminded of how fickle everything is so so so SO much. Everytime E V E R Y T I M E something good happens to me, it’s paired with something bad- literally every time without fail. I hate that I can’t enjoy those good things cuz I’m subconsciously constantly waiting for something bad to happen.

For the first time since I came out to my parents in March 2022 I feel like I actually have a future to look forward to. I feel like I actually have things to work towards!!!!!! Projects I can start!!!!!!!! Friends to enjoy them with!!! Things to be EXCITED about!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But then like clockwork I’m brutally reminded of the fact that that could all come crashing down and all of my friends could dissapear off of the face of tumblr forever and it’s all fickle and delicate and why should I enjoy the present if I know bad things are gonna come right after???????????

I hate that this thing that’s brought me comfort and security in my life is so delicate. I could get hate crimed and ran off the internet like what happened on Twitter, my account could get deleted, Etc etc-

And worst of all I could loose my friends in the blink of an eye. They could take a break one day and never return. Something could happen to them and I’d never know. They could leave tumblr forever with no warning and I’d have no way of contacting them whatsoever. It’s happened before to me and it caused me SO much anxiety. I’ve had friends who’ve gone on breaks only to pass away and it leaves me wishing I’d DONE ANYTHING to help them or wishing that I spent more time with them or told them I loved them just a lil mroe

I’ve been so stressed out trying to finish as much stuff as I can before the end of the year cuz of arbitrary rules I’ve set for myself. This is the first time I get to be excited for the future yet I’m constantly knocked down and reminded WHY I SHOULDNT be excited.

Everything’s moving on and everything’s so delicate it could all slip away from me in a the blink of an eye and getting to the end of the year and seeing friends take breaks or say that they may have to leave for whatever reason is only making that anxiety worse.

Not to mention my goddamn parents got a divorce. I havent talked about it hete often cuz I feel like if I did it’d be all I talked about NDNEHENEJWN but it’s taken a MASSIVE toll on me. The fact that they’ll never be the same and I’ll never feel completely secure in life ever again has taken its toll on me.

I hate that there’s no solution to this. ‘Just move on/keep going in spite’ doesn’t work for me. I don’t WANT things to move on I don’t WANT things to change I don’t WANT to loose my friends and the community I’ve worked so hard to build and everything I’ve created again. I don’t wanna move on and it hurts so bad.

I don’t want the new years to roll around.

[chaotically-coz]

Entry #1, sep 11 2024.

Dear diary,

Yeah.. i dont really know what im trying to do here, but i suck at venting so i guess this is a better way for me to actually say stuff.

Saying ‘dear diary’ sounds kinda weird tbh, im probably gonna come up with a new name or something, idk

Uhh… today hasnt exactly been the best, it wasn’t the worst either.

I woke up late and ended up being like- 40 minutes late to school. I dont feel like being yelled at by my teacher, especially considering the fact ive already been late several times, and its only the first day!

Anyways, i pulled the ‘i threw up’ card and managed to skip… i know i shouldnt have. I shouldnt have faked my way out of school.. i dont know why but i just cant go back to seeing that look of disappointment.

We’re only about 5 days into school and i already feel like im disappointing everybody i know. Irl friends have noticed ive seemed different in school.. i just feel so out if it lately. Almost like im.. not really there? Like im moving in third person. Like a part of me just feels.. empty. Im trying, i really am!

I think one of my closest friends saw my scars the other day… thats not good. I know she saw them, i pulled my arm away and we never discussed it but still,,

A lot of my other friends have been distant.. one of them i have like, no classes with. The other one moved away.. i have most of my classes with the same people, i guess seeing the same people over and over is getting tiring.

I can feel myself falling behind in subjects, but im seriously trying!! I cant help but zone out- or get distracted. I cant pick up the teaching or understand ni matter how hard i try. Ive suspected i had ADHD for a while, pretty sure my friends have too. Im too terrified to ask my mom for a proper diagnosis, and i dont want to self diagnose myself, so i guess ill just wait untill everybody stops thinking im stupid and actually suspect things.

Aaaaanyways, i didnt do much today aside from staying home. I watched tv most of the day, which i know is lazy but like… my chromebook charger is broken so i cant really do much else. I could go outside or take a walk. I know i need to practice for cheer and dance.

I did my brothers hair today, that was really funny, we screamed the lyrics to stupid songs.

The thought, “am i forgettable?” Has been playing through my mind alot. Like.. i know that im chaotic and an arsonist and whatever but.. what else?

Is that really all there is to me? What am i really like? Do people view me how i view myself? I guess I’ll never really know the true answers.

I just.. i feel so forgettable. Like.. if i dissapeared.. nobody would notice. I just.. idk.

I dont feel like myself. I wanna feel normal.. i dont care if ‘normal’ meant a being of chaos and destruction, and pretty mentally ill.. atleast i felt like a person. I’d rather feel like that than feel so empty.. i dont like this.

Ive gained weight.. talking abt stuff like this on the internet is kinda eughhhh but still. I feel like i need to vomit every time i eat.. or just stop eating.. i dont feel comfortable in my body anymore.

I’m trying to stop venting so much, i feel like im beginning to do it too much, and people are getting tired of me.

Drama club starts on friday!! Im pretty excited for that. I cant wait to get back into theater.

Uhhhh yeah! Theres a bunch more but idk how much i can fit into one entry, its pretty late so im probably sleeping soon. I guess thats it!

Entry completed

[gyahyahyahayhahayahyahyahyahyaha]

h

i really shouldnt be feeling like this in this precarious situation where im only kept afloat by anothers grace. but hard to even bother. i havent had a reason to honestly give a shit for my own sake for so long. and now i HAVE to. for someone else's sake. or suffer the lifechanging consequences... i guess im ust reckonin g with that................. ive been reckoning with that for an obscenely long time... ive gotten so complacent. ive been so settled in this position for so long. i dont knoww honestly. its been so long.

im not dealing with this well. the ever present and looming answer to this thats been hanging over my head for so long gets harder n harder to ignore. this is a situation i crafted with my owwwn two hands. this is a situation that i set aflame to with my own two hands. what hasnt been irrevocably ddestroyed but these efforts of mine has been left to rot. suspended merely by what i havent directly destroyed with mmy own actions. and all thats left is the rotting tension keeping these bridges up. whats left is rotting due to my inaction and cowardice. ive wasted too much time to start ccrying abou tit now that its staring me down in the face. now that i cant ignore it anymore. i can try ig. i was having fun cooking for JUST mysef for a bit for the first time in years ig not havingg to be CONSTANTLY looking over my shoulder like i would hhave before. its not like it left me completely. theres noway it could have after 2 whole decdes of ingraining those behaviors into your thinking patterns and how you approach everything. its crazy how carried away i got just from cooking a few meals and scrubbing a few showers for MYSELF. i got so excited and bigheaded thinking that "see? maybe i can do it". but its like...

why? why should i. i know why. if its at least for the ssake of not burdening others AS MUCH, as DIRECTLY anymore. but. that, ive long since noticed... can only take me so far. this fear is so pointless, sso annoying. ive already spent so much time letting myself being moved and shaped by it that now it just makes my heart move fastear nd my body freeeze upr and thats it. nothing worthwhile comes from engaging in this level of fear anymore. so have to stop it. i dont know if i can channel anything worthwile out of these feelings anymore. but after all this time. its difficult. i dont wanna be like this but whate lese is there for me to be but dead. its realy hard to think about naything else when thats the prevailing thought takin up (most if not all of)my line of sight. my emotions. my way of thinnking and planning. my fucking everything. i know it hasnt taken up everythyihng cuz 2 decades later im still here. i still eat. i stll worry a bout feeding myself. i still havent starved to death despite my attempts. i know this. i fucking know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. im still fucking here. i fucking know. i have bigger thins to worry about. i know. i made things this bad with my own two hands. i know i knoww i know i know i made things worse and wallowed in it. stewed in it. rotted in it. but i still. stretch. i still reach. i still jump. i still try to MOVE. i still feed myself. i wouldnt have been able to even have the energy or strenght to throw some shit together in the microwave if i didnt have all the help i did. they made it so easy. i wouldnt be able to move if i ididnt do all that. all this time. i know. i woudnt b e this fucking old. despite being completely unable to see myslef makein g it to this age. i fucking know. i ts not like i did much else bu tthink about it all this time. iveen sayin the same shit for so long and yet here i am. i know next hyear is the year i said that i d finally do something. if i wasnt out of that fucking place! and owouldnt you fukckinggg know it. im out of that fucking place bu its the same. im still strung up by others graccce towards me . im still fucking here. i have to do something. i have to burn them all up onece and for all OR cross the path afforded to memby these bridges extended to me. i have to take those steps . i know im too old for this.. but that doesnt even really bug me as much anymore. i dont have much time to waste. so otherwise i waste it and waste all these opportunities and time HANDED to me or i. take these opportunities and move forward with them. i can still salvage this situation while i stil have time to do so. if i try. so why am i still wasting all this time.

all the exuses ive been waiting on have arrived at my doorstep. i cant wait on them anymore. and its not like i had any good reason or excuse to wait anyways. i just. was losing momentum? giving up? its hard to prop yourself up and move using the guilt and fear and shame and regret of howww long and how much youve been relying on others to live as like fuel. its not sustainable. i woud fukcking know. this is probably my best and last chance to fix thinsg for myself. to graab hold of my own life. for my owwn sake. but i cant stop asking. "why? what for?".

i definitely lost sigght of a loit of immportant thinggsss. i mean. isnt that what fucking happens when you spend so much time imired in all those feelings, in your own head........ but. ok.

what now.

[royalelusts]

i love the teenage m! reader hcs you wrote for obey me! could you write some hcs with the same prompt but different characters? have a nice day!!

im glad you enjoyed reading them! i had fun writing it! i hope you enjoy this one too.

✰ mammon

⚬ When i tell you he was annoyed

⚬ Not only does he have to watch the exchange student

⚬ The exchange student is a random teenage boy

⚬ Not to mention a human

⚬ What was lucifer thinking??

⚬ But his annoyance didn’t last long

⚬ This brought opportunity!

⚬ He could plan out so many schemes using you

⚬…was his first initial thought process

⚬ How was he supposed to know you were going to get this close to his heart?!

⚬ Oh well now you have big brother mammon in your life

⚬ He definitely still pulls you into his schemes

⚬ Well he tries to

⚬ He’ll come up to you all excited telling you his next plan

⚬ Only for you to look him dead in his face and say “that is the stupidest shit i've heard all day”

⚬ >:/

⚬ Well damn you couldve just said you didnt like it and kept it moving

⚬ But it does pull him out of a lot of dumb things so its technically a win

⚬ Oh do you remember that one devilgram story where mammon left for a while?

⚬ When he came back to see how concerned you were he lowkey felt bad

⚬ Like wow i really left my partner in crime

⚬ He is your number one supporter

⚬ You got a 54 on a test?

⚬ Hell yeah lets go celebrate

⚬ He’s like one of those moms who complain about you telling him about a project at the last minute but then breaks their back to help you finish it

⚬ When you came back to the house of lamentation after chapter 16 he was the first one you talked to

⚬ More like clung to but whatever

⚬ Tbh he was the one that convinced you to come back

⚬ “Even if you’re obnoxious sometimes you’re my responsibility. I got you.”

✰ leviathan

⚬ To be honest when you first met leviathan you were kinda excited

⚬ One of the pins on his shirt (vest? jacket?? cloak???) was from an anime you liked

⚬ It was just a bit of normalcy considering the whole situation

⚬ Then he called you a normie…

⚬ YOU GAVE HIM THE MEANEST SIDE EYE

⚬ “At least im not a shut in”

⚬ …

⚬ that lowkey hurt his feelings :/

⚬ There was so much tension between both of you

⚬ It was unbearable for everyone

⚬ This also made it difficult when you needed to borrow his vinyl

⚬ And when he wouldnt let you in his room?

⚬ You did the most logical thing in the world obviously

⚬ “It doesn’t matter. TSL sucks anyway.”

⚬ WHEN I TELL YOU THE DOOR FLEW OPEN

⚬ Mammon had to drag you away before things got too heated

⚬ After the whole tsl fiasco the tension dialed down

⚬ The hatred turned into competitive energy :D

⚬ By default you are now Henry

⚬ Sorry there isn’t any room for arguments

⚬ Levi now indulges in all of your interest

⚬ You even got him interested in some of them

⚬ he keeps a lookout for exclusive items to get you

⚬ Why shouldnt you have the best items???

⚬ Late night binges and game nights!!!

⚬ Lucifer has scold you many times about staying up for diavolo knows how long

⚬ But why would you listen to an old man like him anyway?

⚬ You had mentioned that you’ve never been to a convention before and levi was appalled

⚬ He now takes you to all of them with full cosplay if you want

⚬ Lets just say everyone wants to be you two

⚬ Moral of the story y’all are besties now

✰ belphegor

⚬ “You’re bullshitting me right? I risked my life to get that stupid vinyl from Levi to get up here only to find some random guy locked away?”

⚬ …huh

⚬ The person that’s going to let him out was a human?

⚬ Not to mention a teenage boy at that

⚬ Well we cant be picky

⚬ Assumed you were gonna be easy to manipulate

⚬ …key word assumed

⚬ WHY WERE YOU SO STUBBORN??

⚬ “Even if you are a human you’re locked up for a reason right?”

⚬ No matter how much he tried he couldn’t convince you to help him

⚬ Wanted to slam his head into the wall with the headache you were giving him

⚬ Somehow you left agreeing to get the rest of the pacts

⚬ (you vaguely remembered seeing a picture of him and beel happy together so you caved)

⚬ Throughout the process though you would manage to slip past lucifer to visit the attic

⚬ You would tell belphie about the crazy adventures you’ve been through since arriving

⚬ As obnoxious as you were he did find the stories of his twin enduring

⚬ Anyway to the attic events

⚬ “See i knew there was reason your ass was locked up”

⚬ When he went in for the “hug” you socked him straight in his jaw and booked it down the stairs

⚬ *cue cat and mouse chase music*

⚬ After that things were….mhm

⚬ You refused to stay at the hall of lamentation for a while

⚬ Even when you were convinced to come back you were obviously tense around them

⚬ The first time you spoke to belphegor again was when he caught you late at night in the kitchen

⚬ He apologized but didnt blame you if you didnt want to be around them

⚬ “Its not everyday i get strangled by a guy i saved”

⚬ You both chuckled

⚬ Building trust was an extremely long process and you made belphegor work for it

⚬ Oh but when things do get better though??

⚬ MENACES I TELL YOU

⚬ Y’all can shit talk everyone for hours

⚬ Its how you two bond <3

⚬ You thought the dissing was limited to the privacy of your rooms?

⚬ You my little friend are sadly mistaken

⚬ There are codenames for people if you’re talking in public

⚬ No one is safe

⚬ Oh and if said person/demon/angel does something around you two?

⚬ Sending a single look across the room will say everything you need to

⚬ You’re now an honorary member of the anti-lucifer league

⚬ You found out that belphegor has the comfiest bed out of everyone

⚬ So now that’s where you take majority of your naps

⚬ Though if you lay down before him he will not hesitate to fall on top of you

⚬ No use complaining young human

⚬ This is your fate now

[borathae]

Chapter 2

That dick is all over campus” call that a hoeyager

oh they are very serious oof

running for her life?? TAE WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT TO DO TO ME???

“A gentleman’s secret muhee hee hee hee

“Your car is really sexy truer words ahve never been spoken

Do you enjoy music? watch his ass play johnny marvin

WHAT IS DOIJG ?? *im guessing he can charm/manipulate minds?

You didn’t want to say this, why did you say this? MOM(2seok,kook) PICK ME UP IM SCARED

You shiver and blink, feeling as if you finally found the way out of something. But what?  BYE TAEHYUNG UM I WILL COME BACK TO YOU, later..... like 500 years later as reincarnation bye

I knew that you would enjoy this place”, hOW DID U KNOW??

(footsteps)Taehyung’s were silent. STOP BYE IM LEAVIMG IM SCARED KOOK SHOULD HAVE BEEN FASTER TO COLLECT ME AAH

every lovely lady I spent time with, always shifts to my descent sooner or later.” whoops hee hee

“I want to talk to that source one day, they seem to have the raunchiest details about artists” mr. dracula must be fluttering

resting bitch face is very annoying, especially when it looks like a certain someone and u cant rest it, even at home (was a struggle in lockdown)

“It’s a little eerie here HOMEGIRL IS THAT THE ONLY THING U FOUND EERIE YET???

ofc a murderer wouldnt tell you, imagine u going

excuse me, young lady, you look really good tonight

-oh thank you, u shouldnt have

well i have to, cuz its going to be your last night.

-what?

im a murderer, so let me just stabby stab yeah?

-oh yeah sure why not, since u are polite

ok mr. not a murderer, would u mind making me hungry for more healthier stuff??? and also not let me gain weight???? thank yew

such a big house????? that you own???? in this economy????

Are you going to cook dinner for me? nope he is about to pull a hannibal and make u the dinner for all the housemates 😭

I fear not, I am quite terrible in the kitchen. But worry not, you will still get delicious food. sir i wisheth u stopped thy habit of speaking old english (jk, go on, make me laugh lol, i literally pulled on my old pants that comes up to knees and wore socks above)

A scarlet red rope adorns his naked body, opened in the front to reveal his toned torso and the matching silk pants adorning his sculpted legs. I AM HOE, SERVANT, AND MAID AND YOURS PERSONALLY, HOW MAY I SERVE YOU, SIR????

descending down the stairs like a graceful cat. ah the line is so good i love it, i can see it, not like i wasnt seeing 95% of the scenes like a movie in my head

she snorted she snorted SHE SNORTED GOOD NIGHT

He answered it clearly and loudly. WHAT DID HE SAY AAH

Where did he get that glass from? You can’t remember watching him stand up and get it. Or did he have it all this time already? boi what goes on

The movie about the messy street rat helping that weak cook U LIVED THAT LONG AND THATS YOUR OPINION??? UNCULTURED SWINE

his movie is a masterpiece. It’s about friendship and love and overcoming stereotypes, it’s so much more than just a rat helping a cook PERIOD TELL EM SIS

CARS ISNT BAD JIMINSHI MY LOVE

I like to refresh my memory sometimes SIR ANOTHER HINT AAH

How could I, a mere mortal man, sleep next to your beautiful body and not be tempted by my carnal desires?” MORTAL MAN??? U SURE ABOUT THAT?

feeling that i’ve seen them before somewhere” SAY WHAT OMG she is indeed special, i mean obviously why would 2seok call her and kook say we smell good

Do not open your doors tonight. Keep them locked.” THEY GOT DEAD BODIES PT 2

HUH??? how did she end up in the library?? does opening the door even for a second cause such stuff?

omg bad boi yoongles came to save us

the suspense is killing me the foreshadowing is hecking great

and im already excited to know more about all characters *squeaks

heheheh I love your reviews hehehe thank youuuu 💜💜

That dick is all over campus” call that a hoeyager

LMAOAO FOR REAL jfajds f

running for her life?? TAE WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT TO DO TO ME???

SUSPICIOUS INDEEEED

WHAT IS DOIJG ?? *im guessing he can charm/manipulate minds?

mhmhmhmmhmhmmmmmmmmmhhhhmmm 👀

You didn’t want to say this, why did you say this? MOM(2seok,kook) PICK ME UP IM SCARED

BESTIE HE IS DANGEROUS LIKE HELPPP

You shiver and blink, feeling as if you finally found the way out of something. But what?  BYE TAEHYUNG UM I WILL COME BACK TO YOU, later..... like 500 years later as reincarnation bye

LIKE LISTEN WHAT IS HE DOINNG??? HELLELEOOOO

I knew that you would enjoy this place”, hOW DID U KNOW??

👀👀👀👀👀

(footsteps)Taehyung’s were silent. STOP BYE IM LEAVIMG IM SCARED KOOK SHOULD HAVE BEEN FASTER TO COLLECT ME AAH

GIRLIEPOPS WE ARE SCARED

resting bitch face is very annoying, especially when it looks like a certain someone and u cant rest it, even at home (was a struggle in lockdown)

Oh no I'm sorry to hear that you can't even relax at home :/ I'm manifesting a safer living situation for you 💜💜

such a big house????? that you own???? in this economy????

so he rich RICH i see i see

Are you going to cook dinner for me? nope he is about to pull a hannibal and make u the dinner for all the housemates 😭

GIRL LEGIT LIKE PLEASE HELP HER

A scarlet red rope adorns his naked body, opened in the front to reveal his toned torso and the matching silk pants adorning his sculpted legs. I AM HOE, SERVANT, AND MAID AND YOURS PERSONALLY, HOW MAY I SERVE YOU, SIR????

lmao for real fjasjdfa

descending down the stairs like a graceful cat. ah the line is so good i love it, i can see it, not like i wasnt seeing 95% of the scenes like a movie in my head

GAAH EHEH THANK YOUU <33333

CARS ISNT BAD JIMINSHI MY LOVE

i must let you know that Cars is not Jimin's fave movie, Tae was just teasing him HAHAHAHAHAH i don't think that Jimin even has a fave movie tbhf JFAJDSFJ

feeling that i’ve seen them before somewhere” SAY WHAT OMG she is indeed special, i mean obviously why would 2seok call her and kook say we smell good

mmhmhmmhmhmhmmhmmmmm

Do not open your doors tonight. Keep them locked.” THEY GOT DEAD BODIES PT 2

LIKE SHE IS REALLY GONE NOW ISNT SHE FJASDFJ

HUH??? how did she end up in the library?? does opening the door even for a second cause such stuff?

mhmhmmmmmmmm 👀

omg bad boi yoongles came to save us

he is so hot tbfh.

the suspense is killing me the foreshadowing is hecking great and im already excited to know more about all characters *squeaks

gaah thank youu <333 I'm so happy that you're enjoying it so much heheheheh thank you for reading ilyy

[mojavepumpkin]

"so we beat on, like boats against the current. borne back ceaselessly into the past." (cliche, i know but i can't get over that line)

sunday, march 3rd

haven't written in a while, haven't had my computer in a while. left it home when we went to fernandina. it was a good weekend. i was on my phone more than i'd like to have been, the weather was worse than i'd have liked it to have been. still managed to walk 12ish miles, all in all. the weather wasnt so bad when it wasnt raining. cooler than normal, especially sunday. saturday was nicer, walked 9 miles. had a conversation with a man in a silly hat selling free advice. he was nice but i dont feel all that helped, i still appreciate the conversation.

i am disturbed by my lack of preparedness for this literary thing. i have no idea what's going on, what im really doing, who even is running it. oh well, it can only help me i spose. or i could embarrass myself, but i guess i shouldnt get too hung up on that.

i might be getting a new car, or should i say, old truck. which is exciting. this summer. my car is the most expensive out of all of our cars, it was originally mom's and she gave it to me. the insurance is super high, so once we pay it off (in june), we can sell it and get something thats cheaper for me. it just so happens that i have a cheap taste in cars- or trucks. anyway, i hope we'll be able to find a 1998-2011 ford ranger. a tiny little truck for lil ole me.

anyway. im considering deleting youtube. it's tough. it's definitely my most used social media, and i can say 100% that it has made me better and more informed. if you can call it social media. but its also a big "crutch". eating food? watch youtube. getting ready in the morning? watch youtube. cleaning my room? watch youtube (this one is more understandable.)

given it more thought. i will delete it as an experiment. i think i need to learn how to practice mindfulness instead of consuming content every waking moment of my life. i need a book on it, maybe. definitely.

my mind feels very busy at the moment. let me think. the tv is very loud. i feel very hot. my room is dirty. okay. breathe.

what will happen tomorrow? anything of note? not that i can think of, i might make plans. that could be nice. i like keeping myself busy. i wish i could've figured out plans with J today, but nothing materialized - i just went outside by myself. i haven't read very much. but i haven't been on my phone very much. so i guess i've been doing things. i dont have any homework due. i dont have work tomorrow. i should be happy. i need to return a book to the library, and i cant think of anything else i need to do.

tomorrow might be a good day to walk. i'll speak to some folks. i'm trying to incorporate some more southernness into my speaking voice. idk, i'd like to feel like my voice is some kind of connection to the place from which i originate. i tried so hard to get rid of it, now i dont have it all and want it back. thats life.

despite not having known him for very long or very intimately i see a lot of my grandfather in myself. he has become sort of a kindred spirit i spose, for myself. maybe i do believe in the afterlife, i can still kind of feel him. maybe thats the afterlife we get, the feeling we leave with people. even though he isnt my biological grandfather, he was the only grandfather i knew on that side of my family that i ever knew. and now is certainly the only positive father like figure there. maybe all of those parts of him that are in me now are like little shrines i've built so that he can live on. our love of johnny cash, western movies, ford rangers, and straight-edge shaving. maybe i should start fishing more seriously, honestly i've thought about it often. i'd like to go fishing with a buddy. i just need a pole and some know-how, or my friend being the know-how could work too. i love him very much now, even though he is somewhat of a stranger to me. he loved my grandma, i can see that. i read one of their letters and was moved to tears. life is something incredible.

[dollwrites]

HI BABE please take all the time you need I know you're probably sooo busy right now!!! I'm so sorry about your old page you didn't deserve that, but I'm so so happy you decided to stay and make a new one I couldn't even imagine coming on here anymore if you weren't here 😭

THEY ARE TALKIING ABOUT BANNING TIKTOK! Unfortunately our government REALLY wants to ban tiktok they had a hearing with the CEO of tiktok and everything about it, and they're also trying to ban vpns so we cant get to tiktok that way either 😒 it's so annoying I would be so crushed lol I have hundreds of edits and stuff

I DID GET TO SEE DEMON SLAYER OMG IT WAS AMAZING I mostly just went to see the tengen/gyutaro fight on the big screen tbh lol. They only showed the first episode of the new season but I will say koku looked and sounded VERY cool he was super mysterious I'm very excited for you to see in like a week 👀 hate to say it but muzan looked BEAUTIFUL and of course akaza did too, but as someone who hasn't read the manga I was SHOCKED at just how HUGE Doma is like the stature on that man is insane I was expecting him to be kinda skinny and lanky but NOPE 👀 Also mitsuri I- 😳 the bi in me cannot handle it I just love her 😭 like was there a certain scene that was just brazen fan service, yes. But did she look gorgeous YES. I'm also kinda excited to see more of Genya his character design is so cool to me. I'm very excited to see what you think when the new season comes out 👀

Also PLEASE write more diabolik lovers!!! Diabolik lovers is one of the only animes I consistently rewatch I just cant help it it's like a guilty pleasure lol. It has so much potential for dark content like idk if it's just me but I love reading about blood/my blood getting drank etc lol so it fits perfectly. I also just love the trope of being forced to live with them and the whole gothic vampire vibes 🖤

I didn't want to send many tiktoks since ik you're probably so busy with the new blog so I'm just gonna include two diabolik lovers ones lol 🥰

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRceDUYr/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRceukvJ/

I'm so excited for the new things you're going to post, I hope you're doing well 😘 -jjk anon

BABY YES HI

First of all I’m so sorry all the shit happened before I could answer your big ask I WAS SO UPSET 😭

OH NO THEY SHOULDNT DO THAT. I mean I pretty much exclusively use tiktok to watch thirst edits of anime hotties BUT STILL I wonder why the gov doesn’t like tiktok???

if they do ban it we’ll have to send each other fan art back and forth 😭😭

YES DEMON SLAYER IM SO EXCITED I’ve been getting so hype about finally seeing Koku baby animated my big big big warrior man 😵‍💫😵‍💫 BRO I SAW SOME LEAKED CLIPS AND PICS IM NOT A MUZAN GIRLIE BUT HE LOOKED V V GOOD and douma is fucking MASSIVE !!! I haven’t read the manga either but one of my besties has and I did make her ( begged 💚 ) to give me all the spoilers which is how I knew about koku in the first place SKKSKSK SO IM EXCITED

YOU LIKE DL TOO ?? YES WE SHARE ONE BRAIN I SWEAR. DL would be a guilty pleasure anime if I possessed even 1 ounce of shame but I do not so I just openly love those slutty slutty vampire men. I must know who your favorites are 🤨🤨 YOU KINDA GIVE SUBARU AND YUMA STAN VIBES but I can also see you being into ayato also THE FORCED DOMESTICATIONNNNN ONE OF MY FAVES WE REALLY DO HAVE ONE BRAIN SKSKSKKSK

THE TIKTOKKKKSSSS OMG YOU SEND ME THE TWO BABIES ??? IM GONNA SCREAM kanato is my little meow meow the urge to be his mommy ( bc his real mom is….. ya know 💀 ) and let him drink from me while I pet his hair is OVERWHELMING and AZUSA SOFT BOY I’m shaking trembling I love those TikToks thank you for the snack babe 💚💚💚

It is kinda hectic trying to transfer everything 😅 BUT I always want to make time for you when I can !!

I have some for you too 🥺🥺

listen… I’m so excited to write that upper moon reverse harem au I’ve been HOLDING ON TO FOR THE LONGEST TIME it’s finally almost time to release these fics and Douma is going to be a MENACE to our poor reader

I SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY SAVED IT THINKING OF YOU

I genuinely cannot believe my FAVORITE va was cast as the deadbeat dilf I am going rabid

I WISH I HAD MORE FOR YOU BUT SINCE THE MOVE IVE NOT BEEN ON TIKTOK THAT MUCH

[thedyingtimelady]

A Crush on someone isnt that simple

Prolog 1/2 (Hogwarts 1880-1887)

The Bloodline was for some Wizard Families the most important thing in the world. At the second Place, it was the Rank of Power. Why should a Woman from a wealthy Family, marry an Caretaker? With no Rank, not enough Money and without any Power in this world? Luckly, Violets Family wasnt like this. Her Father, A Muggle, died when she was very young. She only remembers fragmets of him. But all of them were really lovely. Her Mother Remarried almost five years later an very rich Wizard. He was kind and didnt disrespected Violet in any ways, for being an Halfblood. Her Step-Father came from a powerful Pureblood Family, but his Rank wasnt something he was very proud off. He didnt had his nose in the air, looking down at others for their blood. The Heart was important for him. And in the same way he wanted to let his daughter marry an lovely man, who would treat her right. As Violet Stone came to Hogwarts, from where she heard many stories from her mother, her excitment couldnt be stopped. For her next five years, she spend time with her friends, she learned a lot in this wonderful school and saw a new world, she never thought would really exist. As she turned 16, the world around her started to change. Many girls in her year began to talk about marriage right after school. Some were already engagend to men they never met, or only met a few times. Some of them were in the same age as the girls, and some where much older. But it was normal. Normal for them. Not thinking about having an carrier. It was important to keep the bloodline flowing. Not one of the boys were really attractive for her. Some were nice, but not really interesting. She was a late bloomer, some girls snickering behind her back, but that didnt bother her much. Her Parents didnt pressed her into an marriage she didnt wanted. One day, one of her friends started to sigh in frustration. "Whats going on Rita? Are you alright?", she asked her friend. "No. I am not. I have to help Mr. Moon with the Thestrals, but I dont want to! I cant even see these things!", she hissed. "I can see them. I can do it for you", Violet simply replied. Rita blinked and looked over to her. Her voice filled with worry. "You.... can see them?" "Yes. I saw my dad die right infront of me. An Heartattack. I cant really remember it, but my mum told me, I sat next to him, until she came home. Thats why I can see them", she shrug her shoulder. She loved her dad, but she couldnt remember his death. And she was happy with it. She didnt want to rememeber this gruesome memory of hers. She wanted her dad happy and alive in her memories, what it does. She smiled and went out, over the north part of Hogwarts, to the barns, where the Thestrals lived. From far, she already spotted Mr Moon, leaning against the wall. He was waiting for Rita, thats for sure. She felt the warmth in her cheeks rising. While others had crushes on Professors and or their Fiancé, the caretaker of Hogwarts made her heart move and beat louder for any perticular reasons. He was very good looking in her eyes. He was originally from Korea, in his early 30s and kind to her. She helped in a lot with tasks, or even swapped places with other student, who should help him in detention. Every reason she could be with him, she took the chances. "Hello Mr. Moon!", she waved and smiled happily. First the Caretaker blinked, than he sigh frustrated, before giving her a kind smile. "Again Ms. Stone? You know, you shouldnt just take the imposition of others. You are way too kindhearted for these rebels.", he shook his head, before going into the barns with her. "But Rita cant see the Thestrals. And I can. So please dont tell Professor Sharp, please?", she asked with a sweet smile. Mr. Moon roll his eyes, before laughing out loud. "Alright. Alright. Just because I like you. You're always a helping hand, so I wont snitch. But please take care of yourself too, okay?", he tilt his head. She nod and both started the work.

[straightjacket111]

i question myself alot.if im perfect. im enough. have i say smtg wrong. have i tried . have i gave up. am i even goodlooking. will i be locked . is this life. is this love . am i cursed . i question alot on me. most of the time i feel like theres no meaning in this world for whatever ive been through. but i tried my best. do i ?. i wanted peace. ive been looking for peace in so long. idk where is it. im lost. im hurt. i hate nyself. i lost hope. i wanted everything to be perfect but none have happen. we’ve been fighting for the past few days . i hated myself for that. i hate being weak. beinf controlled. controlled by my parents. i hate things happen in my way.like fuck shit happens. i wanted to marry my first love. but wanted to. but she wanna break up after everything happen. but im questioning if she love me. like how i love her. like things didnt go as planned when we want to get married. and i thought she said its fine. i know u tried but im not going anywhere. i thought she wud said dat. but no. it keep haunting me if she really love like she will go through everythinf with me. like. i cud imagine if my dad were to ask me tk get married amd she cant. i understand that. its hard on love. it hard to understand each other when both lovers couldnt understand each other. i admit it. but i do understand where shes coming from. i never want leave her like this. not even leavinf her at all. but i wish . js one day. when i did kms. i hope everyones happy living their own peace. without me burdening anything.

for my love . i love you always. i will always love you no matter how much u hurt me no matter how much anything happens. i love you. ure really one of the mosg best woman . i love you with my whole heart and i wish u know that i will go through eveything with u. ive always have ny eyes on u. only you and nvr anyone. u tried ur best. ur best to understand me. helped me. makw me happy. and everything else uve always been. but im sorry. im sorry i wasnt good enough. i didnt try wnough. and things didnt go as planned to make us married to each other but engaged. i know u nvr want that . and im sorry. i remember how happy and excited u were about us tunang with each other. ure the most cutest beautiful lazy with that wide smile. i miss you alot. i miss my nina where shes not worrying bout anyth but js to be with me as long im her side. i wish i cud really marry u but im trying. im trying everything i can i js hope u know what ive been go through to the point i hate myself. im sorry for hating myself. i really cant do anything because everying that is said in my head is true. but i love you alot u know that. i love you more to the point i dont love myself no more. uve always been my first love and no one cud replace dat. it sucks seing us like this. fighting with each other. and asking for break ups. u know i hate that . but its fine. ure mad. and i cant be mad because im stupid. i shouldnt even be mad. but i hope u cud see ur bracelet everday for what it says. because my mum still like u. my dad still say he like u. because uve made me happy. i hope u know that. i didnt wanna tell u cuz . nothing else can work . i cant do anything bout it. but trying tot think hard . harder than a math question the point im having migraines. ive been cryinf almost the wholeday nina. it sucks. i wan u here now. but fuck. i wish we could talk to each other again go through everything again. im sorry i keep making u doubts . and everyrhinf else. i hope u still love me for who i am. i hope u still want me for who i am. accept me. im js tired of this week. and i hope u know i will always love you

and to everyone. i hope u guys find peace and happiness . on urself. someone once said. theres always something u will love yourself . and that my first love. but it dont work on me anymore. thank you.