#i know its over still i cling I dont know where else to go????

[rottentiger-art]

rip post THG/early CF Peeta, you would've loved I Know it's Over by The Smiths

[verstappensseatcushion]

✩°｡⋆ pas de deux, ln4 ⋆｡°✩pt 4

part one part two part three

pairing: lando norris x fem! ballerina! reader

[face claim: luna montana is largely used as faceclaim but some other pinterest girlies in there too]

summary: y/n is new to monaco and quickly finds herself dancing with mclaren driver lando norris despite all intentions she has of focusing on only her career

a/n: i did not proof read so im so sorry if there's spelling mistakes at all! hope everyone had a happy holiday

y/n.ballet posted on their story

⟡⟡⟡

"i think some of the other drivers should be here soon," alex, charles girlfriend, says loudly over the music.

you've been out with charles and his friends for a few hours now, meeting for drinks at someone's yacht and now at a club that you can't remember the name of. alex has quickly become the person you're clinging to, as one of the only other girls out.

"oh! i didn't know anyone else was coming," you yell back. she shrugs and gets up to pull you along with her to the dancefloor.

when you return to the booth in the corner there are more guys at the table, all laughing to themselves as they take a round of shots. charles being the first to notice yours and alex's return goes to introduce you to the new arrivals.

"everyone this is y/n," his words slur together a bit, he then points to everyone, even the ones you've met already, and reintroduces them. "and lastly we have lando."

he looks familiar, and not just from seeing him on tv or in advertisements around monaco, but it's like you've met before.

⟡⟡⟡

y/n.ballet posted on their story

⟡⟡⟡

it's been at least an hour, and a few more drinks, since the other drivers met you guys at the club. you, alex, lando, and charles are sitting in the booth after everyone else abandoned the group for dancing. you've been sitting quietly, giggling with alex, as charles and lando go back and forth telling stories about each other.

alex leans towards charles, whispering something into his ear. he nods and then announces that they're gonna leave soon.

"i should leave too, its getting late i think," looking at your phone you see it's nearly 2am. you go to crawl out of the booth and stumble a bit trying to gain your balance. a hand reaches and grabs your arm steadying you.

"is someone taking you home?" lando asks looking down at you, hand still on your arm.

"that's a bit forward isn't it?"

"wha-oh, not like that, i mean how are you getting home," he sighs, "you're clearly drunk y/n, and no one in their right mind would let you get home alone."

giggling you try to touch both your fingers to your nose (not entirely correctly but the thought was there), "see not drunk im fine! plus i dont live far im just going to walk back to my apartment,"

"let me walk you?" he asks, moving his hand to the small of your back as he guides you to the exit.

...

"and tulip fever is why I like tulips so much, it's honestly one of the best movies I've ever watched," it's been about 20 minutes of you blabbering non-stop, walking through the middle of the street as lando follows you, "oh my god I walked into you the other day that's where I know you from! je le savais! I was on my way to classes and completely walked into you, im so sorry by the way. I can be so out of it someti-"

"breathe," lando cuts you off laughing, "I don't think you've stopped talking once since we left."

you blush with embarrassment, "I'm so sor-"

"don't apologize it's cute, I like it," he cuts you off again, "do you know where you're going, or have you just been walking down random roads hoping your apartment appears?"

you point at the building on the corner, "it's this building! I know where I'm going!"

"are you sure? because this the second time we've been on this street."

"yes I'm sure," you laugh, swatting at his chest.

he follows you as you enter the door code and walk up the stairs to your apartment door, "you coming in?" you ask.

"not tonight, just making sure the pretty girl made it home safely," he smiles, giving a half wave as he goes back down the stairs.

"goodnight lando."

"goodnight y/n."

⟡⟡⟡

y/n.ballet

liked by ybfusername, landonorris and 4,019 others.

y/n.ballet à propos de la nuit dernière 🌷

ybfusername you better be prepared to explain those flowers missy

username5 where's the dress from?? 😍

username2 gorgeous smile

view 43 other comments

landonorris

liked by y/n.ballet, username3 and 320,872 others.

landonorris about last night 🕶

username1 that second pic omg

username3 DJ LANDOOOOO

view 4,274 other comments

[the-s1lly-corner]

If you could indulge me, can I ask for something with The Amazing Digital Circus gang, with an s/o who is seen as an anchor for the others? They are strong willed, happy go lucky, supportive, a mediator and ect. Well, could they stumble upon their s/o just having an episode, just crying in frustration and like punching a wall to calm down and go back to acting like nothing happened?

I have a thing with strong willed characters hiding their weakness for the benefit of others.

TADC cast x emotional anchor!reader !

oh ho ho you silly lil fella, you have literally just described my TADC oc down to a T, i am going to have so much fun writing this because im literally just. going to use my oc as a place holder for the reader, just without describing any lore bits unique to them and their design ngl i think i went insane with this one, tally hall music is doing something to me

CAINE:

if you thought you were good at hiding your human despair just know that caine already knows. the only reason i feel he wouldnt initially come to you in your lesser moments of weakness is that he can acknowledge that youre trying to hide this part of you. does he go comfort you, and risk making you try harder to surpress your feelings; risking you to just blow up one day and have your mental state just totally collapse in one go? would you feel put off at the knowledge that in this world you never really have full privacy? that definitely wouldnt make you feel any better. but when it gets to the point where you're screaming and crying in your room and punching the walls he would step in. drags you away from the walls, and if he has to this man will restrain you if it means making sure you stop swinging. hes seen the downfall of many people within the circus, but seeing it from someone he so deeply cares for hits a different way. he may be an AI, but he can still simulate feeling. its a harrowing sensation as he lets you cling onto him. i think he makes an effort to make in house adventures less overwhelming and intense, too scared to push you over the edge but also too scared to leave you with nothing to do to distract you. i think he would stay with you for the night, too

POMNI:

as selfish as it sounds, pomni cant help but feel.. something in her chest. seeing you, the groups beacon of light falter fills her with some kind of fear and despair that she cant put into words. it reminds her that no one is above helplessness, and that at the end of the day youre just as capable of abstracting as everyone else. i think, when she finally sees your fake demeanor finally slip when you thought you were totally alone, she feels bad. i mean shes your partner, and she didnt pick up on any hints that may have indicated your true state of health. i dont think she would try to force you to speak, as much as i want to say that she would try to push for you to talk about how you feel i think her attempts to reach out to you would fall on deaf ears. i think she would put her hand on your shoulder, making you jump back to the present moment. its an awkward gesture, with the jester herself being a little lost with these new feelings... i think you two would just sit in silence

JAX:

similar to pomni, he feels this intense and unexplainable pang at the sight of the most hopeful and brightest person in the circus crumble. ive already said it but ill say it again, its like being splashed with cold water, with how hard that sinking cold feeling hits him. makes half hearted attempts to cheer you up. its not that he doesnt care, its that hes stuck in the shock of seeing the happiest person he knows flip into... this.. for a split second he thought you were abstracting, that pit his stomach becoming colder for a second before he realizes whats going on. ive said this before as well, but jax is not the best comforter, in fact i think he might be one of the worst out of the main cast. but i think so far for the characters ive written for this post, he makes an effort to try to pull you up out of your hole. at least he lets you cry your feelings out, and he wont make you feel bad for doing so

RAGATHA:

stands there in shock like pomni, before immediately rushing to your side and tugging you away from a coat stand you were kicking and beating. hands on your shoulders she tries to snap you back to the present moment, trying to tell you that shes here. any feelings of the helplessness that she shares with the previous two characters is shoved down. this isnt about her, its about you. runs her fingers through your hair, if your digital body has any, and just. rocks you. when you finally calm down enough to be able to form clear words, she reassures you once more that shes here for you. the two of you stay in that position, holding onto one another for the entire night. i think it should be said, but for most of these theyre going to try to keep a closer eye on you and make it a point to ask you how youre feeling. ragatha especially.

KINGER:

it reminds him of queenie. the sight brings back so so so many terrible memories. for a second he doesnt even register that hes standing in the present, standing in your doorway. stuck and frozen for a solid minute before you finally notice him, and you hold each others gaze. finally, you crumble. what was the point of hiding your mounting anguish now that it was discovered by the one you care for most? at the sight of your crumpled form i think kinger would snap back, and rush to your side. he's pause, afraid that you would abstract like the queen, before forcing himself to push through that fear in the back of his mind. a moment where he is not fumbling with himself or shaking; be it because he wants to be there for you or perhaps he still holds some guilt aimed towards himself for not being able to save his old queen, he refuses to leave your side even if you tell him to leave. theres this caution in his actions, mixed with this sort of determination to make sure you're okay. like ragatha, he would make it a point to make sure you're okay long after this incident

ZOOBLE:

zooble would probably be the only one who doesnt make their presence known to you while you're in that state. not because they wont care about you, in fact they care about you a lot. but theyre so unsure of what to do, that they give to you what they would have wanted for themselves, if they were in your shoes. they want to grant you privacy, and to at least keep a shred of the now ruined façade you had been putting on for everyone. if it means keeping it will give you comfort, then they wont take that away from you. they wait outside your door, waiting for the height of your episode to pass before cracking the door open. they dont say anything about what they had just heard, but you seem to know that they know.. i mean they came in so soon after you had calmed yourself down enough.

"are you okay?" a dumb question, but what else was there for them to say? you so obviously werent okay, and you likely werent for a long time. they offer to leave, to give you some time to pick yourself back up, but they also make it clear that they wont go anywhere if you dont want to be alone. the night is tense and awkward, filled with conversation before they eventually broach the topic... i think you guys would develop some sort of secret code. i mean youve been hiding your true feelings for so long, and outwardly saying you need help would compromise that mask you put up for yourself. be it a certain sentence or arrangement of objects, you two come up with a indirect way of asking for security

GANGLE:

she feels so helpless, the most out of everyone. she tries to get your attention, but her words fall on deaf ears, if they even manage to pry themselves out of her mouth. far too weak to pull you away and keep you from hurting yourself, but too soft spoken to bark out a word to draw your attention to her. truly, she feels useless. she isnt able to capture your attention until you finally notice her. similar to kingers part, you fall. she takes an unsure step towards you, hands half raised in front of her as she debates if you want to be touched or not. she settles to sitting in front of you, just barely holding eye contact... she looks down when you tear your eyes away from her. finally finding her voice, i think she would ask if you want her to stay, or if you need anything. she tries to word it the best she can, but she lets you know that she doesnt think any less of you for your outburst. it happens to the best of us, really it does. if you want her too, she wraps herself around you and tries to soothe your shaking form

[h3arts4harry]

-Not yet-

-

warnings: angst, no happy ending, drugs, death, swearing, idk what else lmk

y/n x bsf!chris sturniolo

based in LA

y/n (19) red chris (20) orange matt (20) blue nick (20) purple blake (23)

-

9:47pm

knock knock

i walk downstairs from my room and open the front door to 2 police officers with saddened looks on their faces, "y/n l/n?" the man on the left asks pursing his lips, "uh yea whats going on?" i furrow my eyebrows in confusion, "we have some bad news about your mother and brother" the other, who i recognise to be our neighbour paul speaks, my heart instantly drops to my feet as i look back and forth from both of the officers, paul goes to speak again but closes his mouth and looks down to his feet, my mind races with all the possibilities that couldve happened, yet not once did i think of what was to be said. the other looks down to me, "we regret to inform you that your mother and brother unfortunately been killed in a car crash-" i start to dissociate after hearing that, not registering the rest of what hes saying.

My chest feels heavy as my eyes fill with tears, i bring my hand up to my chest falling back onto my feet failing to stabilize myself. Paul rushes to me and catches me as he gently brings me down to my knees, sobs exit my mouth as i cling onto him, it feels as if my whole world has collapsed, that time has frozen. "im so sorry y/n" i hear paul whisper, small sniffles come from his nose, trying to keep his composure, he and my mum were best friends since college, as much as i feel like my life has ended, i cant help but feel bad for him.

i cant concentrate on anything, all i know is that i need my mum, but she isnt here, neither is my brother. My head is pounding as thoughts overwhelm me, i instantly stand up rushing out the door, leaving everything where it is. The other officer looks back at me as i run, paul quickly walks to the pavement "y/n where are you going" he yells, worry coating his voice. I ignore him, blanking out everything,

all i knew was i needed chris.

-10:12pm-

i get to his house and try open the door but its locked, i rapidly knock, not minding if anyone is asleep. "y/n?" matt answers the door looking down at me, his eyes widen as he sees me stood there, tears streaming down my cheeks, my makeup smudged from crying, my bottom lip trembling tucked unto my teeth. he engulfs me in a hug "y/n what happened" he asks as i sob into his chest, "th-they're gone" i choke out, "whos gone?" chris asks from behind matt, i immediately push away from matt moving to wrap my arms around chris, he copies bringing his arms around my waist, eyebrows furrowed looking up at matt who shrugs. matt looks around outside then closes the door behind him as we head up the stairs.

i cling onto chris's arm walking upstairs. "y/n whats going on" chris asks, lifting my chin to look at him as we sit on the couch, i lift my knees against my chest, hugging my legs. i cant bring myself to fully say whats happened. i cant accept it. too be fully honested i dont even know what happened, i didnt hear anything paul or the other officer said. my breathes become heavy as i pull my bottom lip between my teeth again, chewing at it, "y/n stop that, your lip will split" i look down at my knees as i fidget around with my fingers, tears slowly fall down my face.

nick walks downstairs from his room, matt rushes to him, placing a hand on his shoulder leading him away from us into the kitchen. "whats going on?" i faintly hear him ask as he looks over at me and chris on the couch. chris speaks up again "y/n please tell me what happened" holding my hands that are still wrapped around my legs, i swallow looking up at him, taking a deep breath, "they're gone" i whisper, my voice raspy from crying, "who y/n" chris furrows him eyebrows, concerned and confused, his eyes flicker from mine to nick and matt in the kitchen behind me back to me. i look down and close my eyes, shaking my head as tears slowly start too fall down my face again. chris moves closer to my side bringing me into a hug as i cry into my hands.

-timeskip-2 days-

i havent left the triplets house. they found out what happened though, i still couldnt bring myself to say it but paul had stopped by the next morning to see if i was there, i was asleep when he informed chris of everything that had happened. once paul left chris came back downstairs to me staring at the ceiling, his heart dropped a little seeing me. he told me everything paul told him. i knew my mum had left to pick up Blake from work as his car was in the shop, and i thought they hit traffic which is why they were taking longer than usual. it was a drunk driver. i was furious, but i couldnt do anything but cry. the driver was on the wrong side of the road and had collided with my mums car head on. chris had hesitated before carrying on. he survived. the fucking drunk driver lived while my only family i had died. the anger built so high in me i broke down, chris brang me into his chest, i soaked his shirt with tears. even after my crying slowed we stayed like that, holding onto each other for what felt like hours. i ended up falling asleep on him due to exhausting myself by crying.

-7pm-

"hey chris?" i look up next to me, us both laying against his headboard. "hm?" he puts his phone down on his lap, facing back at me, "can we go on a walk? i feel like im going cry" i bite the inside of my cheek, "yk its okay to cry, but yea ofc" he gets up to put on his shoes, "i know but i dont want to" i say blankly, slipping on my shoes, walking to chris's dresser grabbing one of his fresh love hoodies.

as we're walking down the dimly yellow lit streets, chris looks down at me fiddling with the rings on my fingers and decides to break the comfortable silence "do u wanna try smoke? it might help you calm down, you dont have to obviously but sometimes matt comes to me for weed for his anxiety n shit" he nervously asks, i clear my throat before speaking "uh yea sure" he pulls out a pre-rolled spliff, bringing it to his mouth lighting it, then taking a deep inhale. he takes it away from his mouth, exhaling slowly, then passing it to me. i take it, looking up to him as we walk, lifting it to my lips, trying my best to copy his movements, taking a deep inhale in, i exhale, coughing a little. "easy there trouble" chris chuckles at my coughing, rubbing his hand along my back, "not funny" i frown with a pout which makes him laugh more. "just take it slow, inhale it then take in a breath, so it hits you here" he instructs pointing to my chest, i do as he said to, then exhale briefly closing my eyes in relief.

-9:30pm-

We've smoked the whole joint between the both of us, and i feel like all the weight has lifted off of my chest. chris isnt as high as me cause his tolerance is higher as he smokes almost everyday. i hold his hand, swinging our arms as we walk back to his his house, "i love you yk" i smile looking up to chris, he laughs a little before replying "i love you too n/n" he smiles at me repeatedly squeezing his hand.

We walk into the living room, where nick is editing a video and matt is scrolling through tiktok next to him. "heyyy" i drag out greeting the boys on the couch, they both look up at me and chris walking over to them. nick and matt raise an eyebrow watching me slump down next to nick, chris sitting next to me. Nick sits forward putting his laptop to the side, then faces me lifting his hand and squeezing my cheeks looking at my red eyes and dilated pupils, "youre fucking high" i giggle looking to chris, who is being frowned at by matt. he drops his hand whipping round to chris, "you dumbfuck" he curses shaking his head. "y/n c'mon lets go to bed" he stands putting his hand out, "okay nicky" i stand grabbing his hand, he pulls me upstairs to his room, i turn my head to matt and chris still on the couch "night boys".

-timeskip-2 months-

Im back at my house, my empty lonely house. I hated it here, everytime i opened my eyes and walk around my house i was forced to relive my memories, and it hurts so bad, but i had nowhere else to go.

Ive been buying weed from chris basically every other day now, i would only leave my room to get shit from him. He was very hesitant to sell it to me at first but i assured him that its helping with my anxiety and panic attacks, he kept offering for me to hang out but i refused, i didnt want to leave my bed.

-CHRIS POV-3pm-

I sit down at my computer about to load up fortnite when my phone lights up;

hey come over with a 3.5?

i sigh looking at my phone, im really worried about y/n, she only ever texts me to come over with weed and whenever i ask her to hang out she makes up an excuse. nick and matt keep asking me where shes at cause she never answers her phone to them. i dont know what to do.

yea lemme see what matts doing

k

i walk out my room to matts, "hey matt?" i knock on his door, he opens it then sits down on his bed, scrolling through his phone. "can u take me to y/ns?" i ask hitting my phone on my hand, "yea sure, do u need me to get u later or are u just stopping by quickly?" he sits up putting on his shoes, "prob just stopping by, she asked me to drop something off" his head shoots up staring at me, "you're not selling to her are you?" i look down kicking me feet, "chris! shes grieving you cant be doing that shit" he yells, "its just weed matt" i look to him, "my point still stands" he walks past me, grabbing his keys, i quickly follow behind.

We pull up outside y/ns house and it looks so empty. "Be right back" i announce while matt nods pulling out his phone.

-Y/NS POV-

i reluctantly drag myself out of bed, heading downstairs as i hear matt and chris pulling up.

knock knock

i stop in my tracks at the knocks, closing my eyes at the reminder of that day. i take in a breath and shuffle to the door, opening it to chris stoof there pursing his lips. "hey" i croak, not having used my voice since the last time he was here, "hey" he tilts his head to the side a little, looking down at me. I immediately become very self-conscious of my greasy, unbrushed hair in a low messy bun, the dark bags under my eyes, my grey sleep shorts and fresh love hoodie smelling of weed. i look down to my black slippers i had on, "here i brang u a couple pre-rolls" he says breaking the silence, handing me a bag, i take the bag putting it in my pocket "thanks" i mumble, he purses his lips again faintly nodding his head, "um chris?" i speak up "hm?" "i was actually wondering if you had anything stronger? i um i just feel like the weed aint doing what it has been yk" i bite my lip looking up to him furrowing his brows, "y/n i dont think you should be smoking weed this much let alone anything stronger" "chris youre the one who brang smoking up to me in the first place" "i know y/n, i know and i hate that" "please chris" i bite my lip, wrapping my arms around myself, his eyes dart around me stood infront of him, his chest fills with guilt, "okay fine but just this once" he gives in, reaching into his backpack, before passing me a bag of white powder, it quickly joins the pre-rolls in my pocket "thanks" i say handing him the money, he nods before hesitantly taking the money. i step back, holding onto the door, he takes the hint, "so i guess ill see you later?" "sure" i shut the door, to him looking down at his feet.

I hate myself for treating him like this, and i hate myself for taking drugs after i promised my brother i wouldnt. But i cant help it, it helps me for a little then i need more and i cant have chris trying to get me to stop. i walk into my room and over to my desk, i put down my pre-rolls to the side then pour out my bag of C, i get my card and divide it up into lines before scrambling around in my drawers to find a dollar bill. i eventually find one and roll it up while walking back to my desk, i lean down over my desk, placing the dollar at one end of the line before inhaling it. i take in 2 lines before standing up straight wiping my nose to get every bit in the end of my nose. i lay on my back as the C starts to kick in, i already feel the weight lifting off my shoulders, it feels as if nothing can go any worse than it has already.

After half hour of staring at the ceiling, i walk back to my desk to inhale the last 3 lines. After taking a deep breath i pick up a joint and pull my lighter out of my pocket before walking over to my window opening it, i sit on my window sill and smoke the whole of it. I get hit with a wave of tiredness so i lay down on my bed and drift off to sleep.

-CHRIS POV-

i sigh as she closes the door, i cant believe i just sold her that shit. i walk over to the minivan and get in, "home now?" he asks, turning the key in the ignition, i nod in reply.

-timeskip- 45hours later-

yo come over?

yea sure

bring another bag?

y/n i just sold u a bag

so?

and it was a one time thing

ill pay extra??

its not about the money y/n im worried about u

if u dont sell it to me ill go to sm1 else

y/n no thats not safe at all

idc i need more shit chris are you gonna sell it to me or not?

fine but this is the last time y/n

read 4:37pm

-timeskip- 27hours later- Y/N POV-

I finished my bag last night so i go to text chris for more, ignoring what he said about it being the last time, but i cant find my phone. I get up pulling on sweatpants over my shorts, and pulling my hood over my head. i walk out the door locking it behind me, pushing my hands in my pockets, walking to chris's house.

i walk down the driveway and knock on the door, kicking my feet about. i look up when i hear the door open to nick, "omg y/n hey where have you been?" he asks bringing me into a hug, "just grieving i guess" i state blankly not moving, he steps back slightly frowning, "wheres chris?" i ask looking up behind him, "he uh hes down in his room" nick says stepping back letting me in, "cool thanks" i walk past him up the stairs, then down to chris's room. "yo chris" i say walking through his door, "y/n?" he questions shocked at me being here, "in the flesh, anyway i need more shit" i look at him with an expressionless face, he looks taken back "y/n" he says softly "i told you im not giving you anymore" "yea and you said that the time before that too so" i say blankly, "y/n where is all this coming from? you used to tell me how much you hated drugs, and that i shouldnt be selling and now youre begging for more?" "well i used to have a mum and brother but things change" his face drops, but i ignore it "look have u got the shit or not?" "the fuck, y/n what is wrong with you?" he raises his voice a little and once again i ignore it "chris please, i really need it" he shakes his head, looking down "youre going to end up dead if you keep on this path!" my heart jumps at him yelling at me, but i cant focus on anything except getting more, "i dont care chris! dont you get it! i need more!" his whole demeanor changes, "y/n.." he whispers faintly, "i guess ill go to someone else" i walk out his room slamming the door behind me.

"y/n wait-" chris quickly follows me but im up the stairs already, i pass matt in the kitchen, "y/n please" chris pleads behind me, "chris whats going on?" matt frowns staring between us chris ignores him following me down the stairs to the door, i walk out slamming the door, pulling out my phone calling some other dealer i found through insta.

-CHRIS POV-

"Chris? hello? whats going on?" matt yells from the top of the stairs, i run up them then walking to the kitchen island. "i um-" i swallow looking down at my hands im leaning on, "what did you do chris?" matt states blankly, now stood infront of me, i look up to him as i start to explain, "so um the other day when you took me to y/ns house, i sold her weed, she then asked me for something a little stronger" i trailed off, "chris no, please tell me you didnt fucking sell her-" i cut him off defensively "i was just trying to help i tried to tell her no but she kept pushing and i-" i stopped talking feeling a lump in my throat, "fuck chris" he shakes his head. "how many times?" "what?" i furrow my eyebrows confused, "how many fucking times did you sell her that shit?!" he yells, i look down and mumble "like 4 or 5". he steps back closing his eyes, pinching the bridge to his nose trying to calm himself, "are you fucking stupid? like im genuinley asking, cause if you had a fucking brain you wouldnt of sold her anything, she is griefing and you thought the answer was what? drugs?" i sigh knowing what i did was fucked up.

"guys what going on?" nick asks walking down the stairs after hearing matts yelling, "chris here, thought it was a great idea to sell y/n weed" matt almost instantly answers "YOU DID WHAT?" nick screams, his eyes widen jaw dropping, "um" i start to speak but matt cuts me off "thats not even the best part" nick turns to matt furrowing his eyebrows, "he sold her 4 fucking bags" nick loses it, yelling at me. i just stand there and accept it due to the guilt and shame, wanting the ground to swallow me whole.

-timeskip- the next day 8am-

ive texted y/ns phone like a million times and shes not answered, she doesnt usually answer unless she texts me about drugs or just to get me to stop texting her, but she normally wouldve answered by now. i go upstairs to matts room. "matt i dont know what to do shes not answering me, she wouldve answered by now to tell me to fuck off spamming her" matt sighs then stands up slipping his shoes on grabbing his keys, "cmon we're going to her house" he says looking back at me sat on his bed.

We pull up to her house and it still looks empty, i jump out the car and rapidly knock on the door, "y/n? cmon open the door" i look through the living room window to absolutely nothing, the house looks abandoned. Y/n's neighbour, Annie walks out to the patio looking over at chris, crossing her arms, "chris? whats all the banging about?" she makes me jump "oh uh hi annie, did y/n come home last night?" i ignore her question, "oh urm no i havent seen her since she left yesterday morning" my heart drops to my feet, i turn and look at matt in the car with panic and worry displayed over my face, whos looking back at me frowning in confusion, i thank annie and run back to the car.

I jump into the car, "shes not here oh my fuck matt where the fuck is she? do you think she actually bought of someone else what if she got dealt dodgy shit oh my goddd i shouldnt of let her start this shit its all my fault-" i start rambling in a panic, matt cuts me off "chris calm down we'll find her" he reassures me but i can tell hes worried too.

We drive around for what feels like hours, and theres no sign of her. Im frantically looking around when i see someone laying passed out on their stomach on the floor, "Matt look is that her?" as we get closer i recognize her fresh love hoodie and sweats she wore to mine yesterday, her hair is pulled out of her bun just the very end wrapped in the band. before matt can park up properly i jump out of the slowly moving car and run to her side, i turn her over to see little specs of white powder around her nostril and upper lip. i gently shakes her shoulders trying my best not to panic but how could i not "please wake up shit y/n wake the fuck up"

"holy shit" matt breaths out running up behind me. i pick y/n up, one hand around her back, the other under her legs, her head is hanging back, her messy bun falling down, my eyes dart around her face walking back to the car, her skin is pale, the only colour in her face being the dark eyebags and red tear stained cheeks.

I lay her across the backseats laying her head on my lap. matt is driving us to the hospital, "matt fucking hurry up" i yell, my voice shaking "im going as fast as i can chris". "hello?" matt had been texting nick the whole time updating him on whats going on "hey we're on the way to the hospital now, do u need me to come get you after or are u gonna uber?" matt asks focusing on the road ahead, "ill get an uber its faster ill call you back" he says hanging up.

-NO POV-

Matt pulls up at the entrance of the hospital and chris jump out, holding y/n as he did before rushing into the hospital, "please someone help" a nurse rushes over to him and asked what happened, "i- i think she overdosed but i dont know i found her unconscious" he stutters, she calls over another nurse and they helped place y/n on a gurney. Chris follows next to her, holding onto her cold hand.

A doctor pulls chris side and asks him questions trying to get an understanding of what happened, he try his best to explain but he can only think of y/n so he couldnt really concentrate on talking to the doctor. He notes what chris says then tells him to wait outside. Chris paces back and forth until nick and matt run up to him, "chris whats going on?" "wheres y/n?" they speak over eachover, "i-i dont know, they asked me what happened then said to wait here" matt goes to hug me but chris pushes his arm away "please d-dont touch me" he steps back nodding, looking to nick pursing his lips.

Chris stops every doctor going in and out of y/ns room, trying to find out the situation. as one doctor enters, he get a glimpse of y/n laying there, tubes connected to her arms and nose, his eyes widen as his heart quickens its pace, breathing faster, but hes relieved as he sees her chest lifting and dropping, and hear the beeps of her heart rate ensuring shes alive and okay.

A doctor walks over to the boys, they look up to him in sync, chris immediately spoke "is y/n okay" the doctor takes a breath before nodding a little, "does she have any parents or guardians i can talk to?" chris looks down shaking his head, matt speaks up "her mum passed a few weeks ago but we are her best friends", "well then she is in stable condition but we dont know when she will wake up, she had an immense amount of drugs in her system, and also being outside for an amount of time we dont know, while unconscious, it was very dangerous, but everything seems to be okay, its just up to her to wake up, we dont know if she can hear anything but you boys can go in there", matt and nick stand up behind chris whos already standing and they all rush in to see y/n, still connected to tubes and wires, chris heart sinks to his feet if only he helped her instead of selling her drugs fuck why would you sell a griefing friend drugs he curses himself, he stands next to her holding onto her hand, which is slightly warmer than before, releasing a breath he didnt know he was holding in.

-timeskip- a week later-

Chris has been by y/ns side basically every second. Matt and Nick visit every day too but they go home at night, and come back in the afternoon. y/n still hasnt woken up and the doctors are doing tests to try find out why she hasnt, but they havent figured it out yet. Chris grew restless and annoyed that she hasnt woken up yet and that the doctors dont know why. Matt and Nick try their best to calm Chris down when hes about to go off but can only do so much, Chris has yelled at a few doctors and nurses and apologised after calming down.

-11pm- Y/N POV-

I flutter open my eyes, squinting at the bright lights, to see Chris asleep, laying his head on his arms leaning forward from the chair next the bed, holding onto my hand by my side. I look around to see that im laying in a hospital bed, tubes connected to my arm and nose. I look towards Chris peacefully sleeping, i squeeze his hand a little, i try speak but i end up coughing. how long have i been unconcscious i try remember what happened to lead up to now and its a massive blurr, the last thing i clearly remember is the day i smoked on a walk with chris. "y/n?" i look down to chris looking up to me, i weakly smile, "omg y/n youre awake" he very gently hugs me, trying not to hurt me. "what happened?" i managed to ask, he frowns at my question, "you dont remember?" i shake my head, biting my bottom lip furrowing my eyebrows. "oh um" he looks down at our hands holding eachother, "chris?" i grow concerned from his lack of speaking, "what um whats the last thing you remember?" he lifts his eyes to meet mine, "um the day we smoked together and then i went home with more" i answer, tilting my head to the side a little, his eyes widen, and he takes a deep breath in, "ill tell you everything but let me get a doctor to make sure youre okay, youve been out for a while" he says about to let go of my hand, i grip his hand not letting him go "what do you mean for a while" i frown, "youve been unconscious for a week-" "WHAT??" i shout, shooting forward sliding up on my elbows, "y/n-" he begins as a nurse walks into the room.

"oh y/n youre awake" she says with surprise, i nod pursing my lips, "ill be right back let me get a doctor" she walks out of the room, i look to chris and open my mouth to speak but then the doctors walks in. "hello y/n, glad to see youre awake" i nod in response, the doctor looks down at his clipboard, "so it says here that you have been unconscious for a week due to a spiked overdose" my eyes widen looking between the doctor and chris, "we found a large amount of drugs in your system so we drained them, there might be some left but wont be for long" i nod as he speaks, trying to take in everything "i believe you'll have to stay for another 2 nights just to check over you because as i said you had a large amount of drugs in your system, im quite surprised you survived" my face drops, i couldve died from drugs? drugs? when did i even do drugs? i mean i smoked with chris but weed cant kill you can it? what the fuck happened? my mind races with thoughts as the doctor keeps speaking. "y/n?" chris snaps me out of it "hm?" "are you okay" i nod, but chris sees straight through me, he always has, "y/n" he says i let out a breath "i dont know" i faintly speak, "whats on your mind?" he genuinley asks "i, i dont know, alot i guess, he said i couldve died. like death. thats terrifying, and on drugs?? i dont do drugs, i promised Blake i wouldnt after dad left us for them, and then Blake, he almost-" i choke up, tears brinking my waterline "its okay" chris reassures, drawing shapes on the back of my hand "im just so confused about all of it" i sigh looking down at my lap, chris shakes his head before reaching hand his to my face to look at him "im so sorry y/n" i furrow my brows as he moves his hand back to mine, "we smoked and then you started buying weed to take the edge off, then you wanted something stronger, and i tried to say no, i did but i shouldve kept my foot down but i just couldnt say no to you, and then when i finally refused you ran out saying youre going to get it from someone else and then i-" he rambles, a lump getting stuck in his throat as a tear falls down his cheek, "i found you passed out unconscious on the sidewalk" he quietly adds looking down.

i dont know what to think, my heart is beating out of my chest, and i feel like i cant breath as my vision starts to blurr, "y/n?" i look towards him but i dont say anything "y/n calm down its okay, look copy my breathing" he instructs bringing my hand to his chest, i try my best to do as he says but its so hard to concentrate on anything, he notices my struggles and whispers under his breath "please dont hate me" before leaning in and kisses me gently, my eyes widen in surprise but i then lean into it, kissing him back, which i can tell shocks him as i feel his worries fade away. I slowly pull back looking back and forth from his bright blue eyes, a gentle smile across my face which he mirrors. "what was that for?" i softly ask, "i-um saw online that holding your breath stops panic attacks and when i kissed you-" "i held my breath" i finish his sentence with a smile "yea" he confirms. i sit forward wrapping my arms around his waist "thank you" i whisper into his chest, "you really dont have to thank me y/n" he replies, hugging me back.

-timeskip-2 days-4:30am-

i jolt awake in a huge coughing fit, chris wakes up soon after rubbing my back trying to help me, i move my hand away from my mouth after feeling a cold sensation on my palm, i look down to see it covered in blood, my breathing becomes heavy as i panic "chris?" i look up to his panicked face, "ill get a doctor" he says quietly before rushing to the door, while he shouts for a doctor, i start coughing again, more blood leaving my mouth, chris looks back to me quickly before doing a double take with widened eyes, "omg y/n your nose" he rushes to my side, i bring my hand to my nose wiping it to see what he means, to reveal that my nose is also bleeding.

a doctor rushes in to see me sat up on the bed with blood over my hands, chin and falling from my nose, with chris by my side with his hand on my back. he shouts another doctor from the hallway who walks in, they rush over to me and bring me out of the room, "wait whats happening? chris? wait!" i look around to try comprehend whats happening, i see chris shout from a little behind me "y/n! wait!" before a doctor pulls him to the side. i didnt even notice that they had put an anaesthetic face mask over me until i started drifting to sleep.

-timeskip-10am-

i slowly wake up, my head is pounding as the nurse is taking my blood pressure "oh y/n hi how are you?" she asks kindly noting down the results, "i guess im okay my head is pounding tho" she nods "ill get you something for that" she smiles as she walks out "wait wheres chris?" i try ask quickly before she exits but shes already gone. i look around the new room im in, im not connected to tubes anymore but i still have a cannula in my arm. i grow worried about where chris is so i press the button for a nurse to come back, "hi y/n i have you some tablets for your headache" she places them on the table to my right joined by a plastic cup, "thanks, wheres chris?" i ask again, she looks up from placing down the meds, "i believe he is talking to the doctor about your condition-" "my condition? what do you mean?" i cut her off, "i cant say anything as im only a nurse, i will get a doctor for you" and with that she walks away leaving me confused. what does she mean my condition? i thought i just overdosed but im fine now, i should be able to leave tomorrow "oh shit.." i mumble remembering what had happened a couple hours prior.

chris shuffles walks in after 10 minutes, "hey n/n" he greets quietly looking at his shoes, "are you okay?" i ask sensing his low mood, he shakes his head before looking up to me, he opens his mouth to speak but quickly closes it again, "chris whats going on?" i tilt my head to the side with a concerned frown, he brings his hands out of his hoodie pocket and holds onto mine, he goes to speak again before being interrupted by a doctor walking in, "hello y/n, how are you?" he asks, i frown and bluntly reply "whats going on? why isnt anyone telling me anything?" he purses his lips before taking in a deep breath "im sorry y/n, we tried everything we can think of but there seems to be no change." my frown deepens, "what are you on about?" i agitatedly ask, why cant anyone be straight up with me and as if he read me mind he reveals the truth "youre dying y/n, we dont know how long you have left but-" i interrupt him, tears start to form in my waterline "yeah right you have to be fucking with me! no! this cant be happening-" i look to chris whos stood looking at his feet, tears falling down his face as he holds onto my hand, "chris" i say faintly, he looks up to me, with his bottom lip tucked inbetween his teeth, "im so sorry y/n" he whispers, "no chris this isnt your fault please dont blame yourself, this is in no way your fault" i reassure him before bringing him into a hug, my tears fall onto the middle of his shirt where my face is against.

-timeskip-half hour later-

me and chris layed together in my hospital bed, nick and matt came to the hospital as soon as chris texted him the news, when they walked in you could easily tell they had been crying. when i first saw them i started to cry before moving up onto my knees bringing them all into a group hug, all that could be heard from our room was our quiet sobs. "im so sorry" i softly say to them all pulling away from the hug, slumping back down onto the bed, "what? y/n no dont apologise its not your fault" nick says grabbing my hands as the boys sit on the bed with me, "i knew i shouldve have gone to that dealer, i knew he was dodgy but i did it anyway" i manage to say between sobs, "you wasnt thinking clearly y/n, it wasnt your fault" matt places his hand onto my ankle, rubbing his thumb to try calm me, while chris brings me into a side hug.

for the rest of the day we sat together, talking about all sorts and reminiscing on happy memories, tears were shared as the sun started to set, the doctors said i would pass in my sleep tonight. chris sspeaks up "no this cant be happening. not yet, youre only 19, you havent lived yet, how the fuck is this fair?" i bite my lower lip, looking down as i shake my head, "chris not now please, i know its not fair but we cant do anything to change it, the doctors said they tried everything" matt says with a shaky voice, i feel my eyes become droopy, and i feel really tired all of a sudden "chris.." i whisper before everything goes black.

-NO POV-

"chris.." chris look to the girl on his side to see her head fallen and eyes closed. "y/n? y/n wake up" chris shoots up to stand, matt and nick get up to running out for a doctor. "please y/n wake up i cant lose you, not yet please" chris begs while shaking her, "Y/N WAKE UP" he shouts, tears threaten to leave his eyes, a doctor rushes into the two, he brings his hand to her neck checking her pulse, he closes his eyes taking in a breath before shaking his head, "no.." chris breaks down, "no please there has to be something you can do, i cant lose her please" he cries out to the doctor on the other side of her bed, "im sorry kid, we really did try" anger rises in chris's chest at the doctors words "youre lying! if you tried everything she'd still be here!" he yells at him, matt and nick rush to his side, both of them in tears but still trying to calm his brother, the doctor sheds a tear while pulling a sheet over y/ns lifeless body, chris steps forward stopping the sheet "no wait, can i atleast say goodbye?" he gently asks the doctor nods and walks out of the room. chris's head falls down closing his eyes, "im so sorry y/n" he whispers, "i shouldve said no, i shouldve helped you properly, its all my fault" he chokes out, "chris its not your fault" nick says from behind him placing a hand on chris's shoulder. chris turns to his brothers and immediately breaks into tears, his knees give in and he falls onto the floor, the boys quickly bring him into a hug, attempting to comfort his brother.

-timeskip-3 months-chris pov-

i stopped doing and dealing drugs completely, i flushed them all that night i just couldnt stand to have them anymore. me, matt and nick didnt leave eachothers side for a week after she died, we all slept in matts room together, it was a bit squished but we didnt want to be alone.

i visit her grave everyday and just tell her about my day and everything. im almost 100% sure shes there when i talk to her, its like i can feel her presense when im there and i never want to leave.

"chris cmon its getting late we should go" matt says standing up, "no, can we stay a little longer?" i ask not looking away from y/ns headstone, "its almost half 11 we gotta leave eventually" "okay okay, just not yet.."

-

ahh i feel like this is a bit shit but oh well, i started writing it in like feb now finished it in may 💀

also i have only smoked once so if im way off then pls spare me lmao

anyways honest feedback is always appreciated <333

taglist: @m0r94n @chrisgetsmewetterxo @raysmayhem-72 @junnniiieee07 @sturnzsblog @sturniolo-slvt

[deakwithit]

being a fictive and knowing you were once delusionally attached to your source to the point of blocking kins/id/any sucks bc i still feel like the real one, even though i know im not. like wdym im not the only oswald cobblepot, why cant i be?

but osdd/did doesnt make you a fictional character, i never was nor will be oswald cobblepot really, im just a manifestation of deep rooted problems. i may look like oswald cobblepot but at the end of the day, hes just someone i resemble. i wont ever be him, and reminding myself of that is both positive and negative. sometimes it sends me into a meltdown, other times it makes me feel less trapped. i like being myself and having my own personality, i like my gender and my identities, i like my labels, i like who i am outside of my "source"

i wish i never fell into that anti recovery "this is me and me only" mindset. i wish i never fell for the concept of doubles. i wish i could go back and tell myself im not a fictional character, so id stop dissociating as much. looking in a mirror became difficult because i didnt look like me.

i wish i could go back and not be this slightly delusionally attached person who clings onto their source, but it feels like all i have sometimes.

i represent our bpd, our anxiety, im supposed to help us, but ive only hindered. my host days are over and i know they wont come back. im content with that. i fronted for a year, only going in small intervals, only getting to leave fully maybe a couple times. this was supposed to be a break for me but all i feel is bitter hatred towards my headmates for taking my life away from me. i wont get to experience everyday again, i will just pop in sometimes to have a conversation, nothing else.

nothing about this is fun, this is cruel, demeaning, embarrassing, humiliating, and not once in 2 years has there been a day i havent suffered because of this stupid disorder

why do other systems get to go through life without amnesia, with low dissociation, knowing their parts and their intracacies, knowing their member counts, etc, while i cant remember wether i worked yesterday or not. i go to work and dont know what im doing or where im going half the time. i have to cook, as a fast food worker, and i make too much food and i wonder when i even started moving to make it. i dont feel myself, i dont feel like im there, i feel like im floating. all i can do is think, im trapped in my own head watching myself move and its agonizing, i dont know what i couldve done as a child to deserve such abhorrent symptoms. this is ruining my life. i cant remember spending time with my bf. i can hardly remember details of my own life. i still write my deadname on things knowing ive been out for years as dante. i cant remember anything and it is pure suffering to wake up everyday

[mlm-mod-taka]

hi, I saw you're back, I'm happy, man! If it's open, can I request makoto with a tall man who randomly carries him (on his back, arms, etc.) and runs everywhere? Or does he offer a ride on your back? Idk, I hope that doesn't sound weird, haha

(Idk english, so I apologize if that was bad)

TALL S/O WHO CARRIES HIM • makoto x male reader

im so thankful that people are happy im returning! it gives me more motivation to write, since i know people find enjoyment in what i do. and your english was good, dont worry! i hope you enjoy these headcanons, and that you have a good day.

tws/cws: none that i can think of.

|| -> mod taka <3

most people in the class are taller than naegi, so he's used to having to crane his head up just to talk to people properly. he didn't really mind, it just came with the territory of being smaller. what he wasn't used to though, was being carried, especially being carried by someone much taller than him.

the first time you did this was after pe class, everyone had to run around the track as long as they could and by the end of it, makoto's legs were killing him. back when you two first knew each other, you quickly got along, so he went to you to complain about his achy legs.

in response, you suddenly carried him bridal style as everyone walked to the lockers. makoto grabbed onto you in surprise, and his face was tinted red as he became too speechless to ask you to put him down.

to him, it was... kinda nice, actually. the pain in his legs was still there but being carried helped alleviate it, and it was very cozy to be carried by someone bigger. he enjoyed it, even if he got playfully teased by the others for it.

and that started the cycle of you wordlessly carrying him if he ever talked about having any pain, even if it wasn't leg related. some back pain? you offered to carry him on your back to his dorm. a small headache? immediately lifting him in your arms on the way to the cafeteria. a little neck pain? instinctively handling him so you can place him on your shoulders.

the others joked that makoto's legs muscles will become weak if you kept carrying him so much, and its become a little inside joke within the class. everytime someone needed to be lifted up or carried, they'd call it "pulling a naegi", you both thought it was funny.

the first time you ran with him in your arms, he was so confused and shocked that he didn't hold onto you, and almost ended up falling butt first to the floor. you two both got a good laugh out of it afterwards, with him playfully telling you to atleast warn him first before doing that!

now, everytime you run while holding him, he will scream very loudly. you always somehow manage to do it when he least expects it, and it always catches him off guard. he'll cling onto you for dear life while you run around the classroom with him, trying to avoid taka's scolding.

makoto definitely prefers piggy back rides over anything else. its the position where he can cling onto you the most, and the position where he worries least about falling down. he also enjoys resting his head between your neck and collarbone, but he'd never admit that.

until you two developed feelings for each other. you carrying him felt alot more intimate than it used to be, and him holding onto your shoulders while placing his chin on you felt so much more affectionate. the blush on makotos face would never go away when you lifted him like you usually would.

the entire class got sick of watching you two beat around the bush while being incredibly obvious, and also with you still insisting on carrying makoto, which would just make both of you flustered messes.

kyoko and byakuya convinced him to confess, and to everyones expectation, you both became a couple, and they thought they'd finally be spared all the skinship. they were all very wrong.

carrying became like a love language between you two. you loved hearing his surprise yell whenever you carried him and started running, while he loved the wide smile on your face whenever you did so.

makoto would finally start seeking you out in order to be carried around, feeling more comfortable to admit he actually really enjoys the feeling now that you two were dating. there were times where he would just go up to you, smile at you and ask "hi s/o, can you please carry and rush me to my dorm? i forgot something there." and then you'd immediately get on it.

everytime classes ended and everyone headed back to their dorms, you would piggy back carry him there while sprinting down the hallway. no matter how tired you were after a long day, you always made sure you had enough energy to do that, the laughs he would let out after the initial shock wore off was worth it.

feeling him hold onto you made your heart skip a beat no matter how many times its been done. feeling your arms hold onto him firmly to make sure he was safe made him turn red even if you two did it everyday.

carrying was such a special thing between you two. it meant so much more in your relationship, and you both loved it. the closeness it provided, the trust it required, the significance it had in the development of you two becoming lovers, it all meant so much to him, and he'd never trade that for anything.

[spiderlandry]

it’s a sad song (but we sing it anyway) — ethan landry

Description: “Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story.” (Richard Siken)

Or, Ethan tells you his true identity.

Pairing: Ethan Landry x GN!Reader

Warnings/Tags: angst, no happy ending sorry guys (but i dont think it’s that bad tbf), canon typical violence, mentions of death, extra warning for those who have watched psych s7 ep7, unedited but i might edit soon

Word Count: 1.4k

Author’s Note: someone should hold me back from using hadestown lyrics as fic titles .

Ethan is going to hell.

He had never believed in the idea of righteousness or salvation, not even in karma or the rule of reciprocity. But you’ve broken down the walls he has worked years to put up, leaving him vulnerable and wondering how you managed to destroy his years of work in mere seconds. Now he doesn’t know what to believe.

There is no version of this story that goes well for him, he realizes. He has turned it over in his head a million times, and it ends with you—or him—leaving.

He hesitantly steps onto the crime scene. Though nervousness is part of his act, he can’t help but think it’s also because he’s afraid to face you. He ducks under the yellow tape and his eyes flit to your figure sitting at the edge of the curb a few feet away from the others, a blanket around your shoulders. You pull it taut, looking at the ground, shivering, no doubt in shock.

He blinks and then he’s pushed up against a van, his angry roommate demanding answers. Ethan gives his alibi mindlessly. He had practiced it, he doesn’t need to think. It’s not like he can think, because once his gaze lands on you, your eyes widened at Chad’s outburst, his mind clouds with you. Only you.

What’s worse is that once Chad is off him and Ethan is squatting in front of you, you look into his eyes without a hint of fear. Not even betrayal. Because you don’t suspect him. That’s what shakes Ethan—he lies to you, and you believe him without so much as a thought. Isn’t this what he wanted?

Then why doesn’t it feel right?

He reaches out to you, hand hovering over your shoulder, silently asking for permission. You nod.

You’re cold to the touch, even through the blanket he can feel the chill radiating off you. He ends up rubbing your back to help you get warm, and there is a split second where you’re searching his face.

You jump into his arms, and he stumbles onto the ground as you cling to him, not even minding the stares you’re getting.

He relishes in your trust, knowing you won’t be safe with him for much longer. Hell, you were never safe with him. The difference will be that you’ll know.

Shortly after getting checked out by the medics and exploring the abandoned theatre with the rest of the group, Ethan is surprised to hear you ask if you can go to his place for a bit.

Obviously, he says yes. He can’t possibly turn you down. But he has a bad feeling, maybe it’s intuition or something else.

The view is familiar. You’re laying on him, a hand over his heart, feeling its steady beat while he squeezes your side for comfort. If the comfort is for him or you, he doesn’t know.

You’re both supposed to leave in a few hours to meet up with Kirby and the others to hopefully track down ghostface through a phone call.

“You can’t leave my side,” You finally say after a long stretch of silence, palm still smoothed over his chest. If you feel the sudden change in his heartbeat, you don’t mention it.

“I won’t leave you. You know that,” And he means it. He hates that he means it. It’s not him. It’s not who he’s supposed to be. “We’ll get him.” He whispers, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, relieved from the comfortable sigh that you let out. It’s a promise he knows he will break. Kirby’s plan is bound to fail—it’s a heavy stone in his heart, and he keeps it there because he knows he deserves the burden of carrying it.

You get up to take a quick shower, he heads to the kitchen for a drink. His throat is dry.

For the first time in his life, Ethan is clueless.

About ten minutes later, he hears the shower shut off, and you exit the bathroom after a moment, wearing his clothes. He almost smiles, but you’ve got something in your hand. He doesn’t process it just yet.

He never saw it going like this. Not in a million years, not even in the scenarios he ran through in his head.

Your face is devoid of any emotion. Numb, as you throw the dagger at Ethan’s feet.

He stares at the weapon on the floor, a speck of blood on the otherwise shiny surface, a spot he missed. He recalls haphazardly throwing the knife under the sink to move for later, but it is that moment he realizes he’d forgotten.

His head snaps toward you, and it’s then he figures out you’re shaking. But you’re still emotionless—maybe that’s what scares him the most—you’re the easiest to read. He can’t possibly read you now.

“Explain this,” Your voice doesn’t falter, and there’s a brief staring contest between the two of you before Ethan picks up the knife.

His body carries him. He no longer controls himself. You step back, much to his dismay.

You watch while he runs it under the water, unable to look in your eyes.

“Ethan,” you call sternly. “Ethan, are you listening to me?” When your voice breaks—

He breaks, too.

There’s a loud clank that sounds when Ethan slams the weapon into the sink. It makes you flinch.

His jaw clenches upon seeing the tears in your eyes. “Falling in love with you was never part of the plan, okay?”

It’s the confirmation you were looking for. The actual name to his secret is not even uttered, the word never said. It hangs in the air.

“This all started because my brother died,” The venom rolls off his tongue. “But—but then I met you. You’re—you were—” As he struggles to find the right words, he expresses his anger through a shout. “You fucking broke me!”

“What are you talking about?” You stand your ground, to his surprise. “Are you telling me this is all a lie?”

“Please don’t make me answer that,” He whispers.

This whole time, he has carried the guilt of being the reason for the torment you’d experienced. He carried it, thinking it would be worth it, long as you never found out. The goodbye never mattered—long as the image you had of him wasn’t tainted.

But now it is.

Marching toward him, what hurts is that there’s no anger on your face. “Yeah,” you nod, voice finally tapering. “You broke me, too.”

He doesn’t register the slam of the door until seconds later.

This was originally going to be longer, but since I don’t think I’ll write the rest this is how it goes:

Ethan doesn’t tell his dad about you knowing he’s ghostface, he just shows up to the park like everything is normal, half expecting that there’s police waiting for him there but since he’s practically given up he goes anyway

He’s surprised to find that things are normal, you’re just avoiding him. You haven’t turned him in.

You take Mindy’s place on the train, you get stabbed by Quinn and get rushed to the hospital.

Ethan is forced to make the decision of staying at the hospital or going through with the plan. He picks the latter.

It could have gone one of two ways (I didn’t decide):

The plan is successful, the family manages to kill the sisters and the twins and Kirby.

Ethan knows what this means. The mission ends with you. Ethan and Bailey have this standoff where they exchange silent looks, Bailey is practically saying, If you don’t do it, then I will. ‘It’ referring to killing you.

Ethan chooses to kill you at the hospital, not wanting for his father to do it. It reminds him of his first kill—his mother. He lives with it for the rest of his life.

Or, alternatively:

It goes according to canon, Ethan dies. You’re still at the hospital, unconscious, unaware that Ethan died. When you wake up, your friends are at your side, and you’re conflicted on if you’re relieved—then flashbacks ensue of how real your relationship with Ethan felt. You’re alive but you’ll never be the same again.

[theprinceandthewitch]

Okay but, even though I dislike TTT for making the characters sit on their asses for months for no reason [like seriously, Im not sure why they're wasting time building a door without titan blood. Luz and Hunter both know a door will not work without titan blood.] It's the most entertaining episode of the season for me. When I first watched this episode I wasn't bored like i was with the other two episodes.

It's not just because of the Lunter bonding and Lunter hints - it's that they wrote the episode in such a way where it looks like Hunter is homewrecking Luz's and Amity's relationship. If you were to insert yourself into Amity's POV it looks like Hunter has a thing for Luz. And that is soooo funny to me.

like seriously,

Luz and Amity have been clinging to each other since they came to the human realm. The only time she isnt with Luz is when Luz is at school and this specific day TTT takes place on. This is one of the rare moments Amity isn't with Luz and she's going to be busy for many hours trying to figure out the mystery behind the rebus.

Amity inspires the others to venture into the human realm with her so they can figure out the mystery behind the rebus. Everyone is ready to go into town but Hunter needs to change his outfit because Amity thinks its cringe. So Hunter is like, okay, ill change and catch the next bus into town.

And then he never shows up

So it's like, hmmm, I wonder where Hunter could be on a day Amity isn't clinging to Luz and is going to be in town for many hours...

AND THEN - the next time anyone else sees him, he comes through the door with Luz lying about where they've been and what they've been doing. It's an obvious lie but no one questions it.

At the faire Amity tells everyone - including Hunter - that she wants to surprise Luz with the rebus after the carriage ride. However, after the "Wittebane Backstory" carriage ride is over Hunter and Luz completely disappear. Amity literally takes her eyes off of them for a moment and they vanish.

Then Gus says THIS as a response to Amity's worry: "Calm down. They probably just went to buy some more cars."

His dialogue here never fails to make me laugh because it sounds like Gus is covering for his bro 😭 and it's even funnier when you realize Gus just retold Hunters lie lksjdsldf

Anyways, right after Gus tells her to calm down, Amity notices the rebus is missing... She knows Luz wouldnt take it because she literally does not know it exists. HUNTER knows about the rebus though - AND he knows Amity wanted to surprise Luz with it. So its like... Why would he take it when he knows she wanted to surprise her girlfriend with it? He must have put two and two together during the carriage ride and knew the rebus was actually going to lead to titan blood [they were unsure if it was going to lead to titan blood initially].

But... that doesn't explain why he would take it... everyone was going to go get the titan blood together right after the ride. Perhaps... Hunter wanted to impress Luz by taking all the credit for uncovering the mystery behind the rebus even though he never showed up when they were looking for information about the rebus in town... That's so strange... why would he do that?

...You dont think he has a thing for Luz do you?

Let me remind you that no one else besides Luz and Hunter think Belos is still alive. Hunter didnt want anyone else to know because he doesnt want to scare them. So Hunter and Luz just VANISHING into thin air is very sus. And then the missing rebus makes their sudden disappearance even more sus because Hunter knows Amity wanted to surprise Luz with it. Also, nobody knows why Hunter stole the rebus from Amity - they NEVER get the answer to this mystery. Hunter - nor Luz - never tell them why he stole it. He never tells them he stole it because he thought Belos was alive. So, it is perfectly logical for them to assume Luz and Hunter DIDNT know Belos was alive UNTIL he intercepted them at the graveyard. Edit: So they can assume Hunter took it so that he could impress Luz with the discovery of the titan blood.

It's so fucking funny to me. It makes it extra funny because they wrote such juicy drama UNINTENTIONALLY. This is the perfect storm for Amity to know about Hunter knowing Luzs secret before she did. It also the perfect set-up for confrontation between Hunter and Amity.

[not-goldy]

Heyy! just found your acc and I am absolutely loving it here. idk if you'll read or reply to this but im writing this just because im kinda disheartened seeing some of these jikooker's behaviour. like i get it, we should always be open to the possibility of jikook being in a relationship with someone else but to see them dropping jikook in a matter of seconds after one shady grainy video drops is just... some are still adamant that jungkook does infact have a girlfriend. I've been seeing so many "jikook broke up", "jikook just bros", "jikook poly", "jikook were just fck buddies" it feels like these jikookers are just heavily insecure and somewhat believe certain taekookers' theories as they've been going off about how jikook haven't been close in 2023 and they are no longer 'glued together' just because we don't see it.

its like they were just ready to drop jikook and found this video issue to be the perfect opportunity lol....i honestly don't know where im going with this dkdkdjflkdjf but yeah. i dont think it was jungkook in that video (pretty obvious if you ask me) and I'll keep supporting jikook. jikook's bond is so different than all the other duos in bts and them not dating would be more shocking than them dating each other. ig these jikookers don't wanna act how taekookers did in the whole taennie situation but that's the thing this jungkook thing is in NO way similar to the taennie proofs we got. we got HD pictures and saw their managers in their video ffs.

also the acc that posted that video on weibo went on to post a clearly fake edited video of "jungkook" roaming around his apartment when asked why don't they have more videos of jungkook if they had so much access to jungkook's apartment, and had their lie get debunked so yeah. mindless rant over i guess. JIKOOK FOREVER.BTS FOREVER.

I almost logged out but since you love it here I love it here too🤭

You see right there- even if it was Jungkook in that video it is not conclusive of anything. It's just back hug. Looks like a younger boy worrying his Noona to me and if it wasn't then we need to talk about a little things called consent. Sis looked like she could use her personal space.

Besides, if it were him, nothing special there. He does that with every one. Almost all BTS members. I remember a video of Jimin asking him what he was doing clinging onto him behind him.

He did it with the tattoo girl and said there was nothing between them. How could this have been any different?

I feel people aren't used to seeing him interact with girls that much so they get uncomfortable getting glimpses of him around girls.

They will tell you he is the handsiest member of bts but then turn around and act flabbergasted when he gets handsy with anyone that's not their bias.

I'm glad he put those fake rumors to rest.

If that video was him that would have amounted to some heavy charges cos why we peeping at people's homes with cameras 🥲

The creepy things obsessed fans do and the lengths they go to give me chills. No respect for his privacy whatsoever.

He has friends other than jimin. He has FEMALE FRIENDS as well. People need to get used to that fact and stop acting like a disturbed beehive whenever the topic comes up.

He has female friends cousins acquaintances dancers assistants etc and he has a unique dynamic with each.

The entire Fandom needs to grow up.

For now I'm just embarrassed for them. Imagine cooking up a lie that didn't even take 2 secs to be shut down. The audacity they had to come into our dms trying to convince us we are making excuses for him and not accepting facts meanwhile the delulu ones were them all along.

And they seem to forget some of us are part of the groups they meet at to cook up these elaborate narratives just to stirr up shit. They dumb as fuck.

[melodyfsoul1]

Sth I find interesting after watching the Loki Series Finale, and seeing everyone's reactions to it, is that you can immediately tell what someone's priorities were for the ending (ships aside)

Because depending on what your priorities for the Story or Loki as a Character were, people are either really hyped / optimistic for the future ... or just really freaking depressed right now.

Like on the positive side we have Loki:

- finally finding his "Glorious Purpose", his place in... well "outside" the world/ universe, becoming an even greater being, while his story comes full circle

- reaching his full potential, unlocking new powers, new magic, and being the God of Stories

- becoming one of the most powerful beings in the MCU, and hey maybe he's even able to travel freely through time now and not trapped at the space outside of time

- creating Yggdrasil and protecting it, and by that, saving his friends and the Multiverse, being a true hero

__________

But then on the other side we have the more pessimistic view of Loki:

- finding his "Glorious" Purpose, taking over the burden of a throne he realized he never wanted, but doing it because it was the only option he saw to save his friends and the multiverse ( though I wouldnt even call it a choice, he just resigned himself to accept it because the other options where helping the current HWR, killing Sylvie, risking a universal war or death by spaghettification....)

- making the ultimate sacrifice by chosing to "give everyone else a chance at life" over his own needs, his own future, his desire to be with his friends...

- now having the huge responsible of keeping the multiverse alive & intact for all eternity

And do we even know if he can travel freely through time? (I hope so), but how much power does it take him? What if protecting Yggdrasil means he cant leave the space outside time? That would mean he is trapped there, for all eternity, alone, having to watch over his friends without actually being able to interact with them. He will be able to see that they are okay (hopefully), but he will never be a part of their lives again.... Loki, the very character who explicitely said he doesnt want to be alone...

So depending on how you view it, the ending was either really epic, with Loki getting several upgrades and creating a new era for the MCU

or

Somewhere between bittersweet and incredibly dreadfully tragic with Loki making the ultimate sacrifice, losing everything he just worked so hard to keep (after all the struggles of his original timeline too with Thanos) with Loki probably never being part of any of their stories again, damned to eternal loneliness.

(I'm personally more the 2nd type... I do get the others point of view, it was epic and Loki unlocking his true potential as the God of Stories is insane, GOS Loki is one of my faves in the comics. And my GOD the imagery of Yggdrasil was freaking gorgeous.

But... my main priority was "Loki, for ONCE, getting a chance at life, to be himself, live, with his new found friends/ family at his side..." so you can guess how freaking sad I am over the ending... hell I dont even care about the ships, I just didnt want him to be alone... I just wanted him to have a friend...

Its like, no matter what or where, whether its the OG Timeline Loki, or L1130 or even in the comics... Loki is meant to be a sacrifice for the "greater good" or to suffer trying change or even help, like he did in the comics as Kid Loki and Agent of Asgard.

That being said, I still cling to the hope that Loki can either freely travel through time now or somehow find a way to get in contact with his friends again... of them finding a way to get to him... please, Marvel, I need a Loki who is allowed to be happy, he certainly deserves it.

[orpheuslament]

hey guys did you know that ummm i know its over? still i cling? i dont know where else i can go :/

[herwritingartcowboy]

Hey pookie sense u want ideas heres one!!!

submissive&breedable!ranpo who gets punished after reader catches them flirtong eith someone else for like candy or sumn idfk, and punishes him by tying him to the bed post and force his legs wide open so he has no choice but to take it, and reader could be GN with a strap/actual dick, whichever u prefer to write is fine, anywho while hes begging to cum while tears POUR down his face, reader lets him, BUT reader overstimulates him to the point that hes a braindead whore and cums at every little touch.

But if you dont write Ranpo smut u could mske a angsty one!!

Ranpo spends to much time eith this chcik who reader HATES, but ranpo doesnt care cause its his friend. Eventually reader walks in and finds them kissing in the kitchen or bedroom, and then reader kicks the chick out, AND HERES EHERE U GWT TO DECIDE!!

Option A: After the girl left, Reader starts to pack their bags and ranpo begs them not to leave, getting on his hands and knees infront of the door

1) reader forgives and forgets

2) reader still leaves LOL

option B: Reader tells ranpo to pack his shit and LEAVE LMFAOOOOO sorry anywho Ranpo is like whining that he doesn't wanna go and he wasn't actually kissing her or sumn

1) reader still forces ranpo to leave, in which, he does, but of course after some (alot) of crying

2) reader tels rsnpo to gtfo, but he doesn't listen and clings to reader all day long while saying "im sorry" ovrr snd over sgain

Or u could do both 😜

A/n: Thank You For these request. Here is the smut I will put the angst later.

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogd

Character(s): Ranpo

Warning(s): Smut, Bonged, Sub Male, Dom Reader, Overstimulation,

Readers Gender: Gn

All Ranpo wanted was your attention. You have been out doing nothing but cases leaving poor him bored all day. So he did what he had to do and that was get up and comfortable with Poe, little to comfortable for your taste.

It was during another one of parties everyone threw and seeing enough of the flirting you took your boyfriends hand as you excused the both of you.

You two got home as without a second you were shoving your tongue down his throat as you both made your way to the bedroom.

"Strip", was all you said and that made him half naked sitting at the edge of the bed rubbing his thighs together. "You think that rubbing your thigs together would make me forget what you did", you said lifting Ranpos chin up making him look into your eyes. "Now lay down nice and comfortable", with that ranpo laid down smirking to himself not knowing on what is to come.

Ranpos hands are tied to the bed post with his legs over your shoulders as you thrust slowly into his whole. Tears came from his eyes as he feels sexualy frustrated. "What's with the tears baby", you whispered smirking down at the trembling body of Ranpo. "P-please move faster" "After what you did, Nah". You brought your hand down rubbing the head of Ranpos cock making he scream out as this wasn't enough for him. "P-please-I missed you" "Is that why you thought flirting would be a good option" "I-won't do it again-promise" "Promise" "Promise".

You leaned down pressing a kiss to his lip, "Well i'll give you what you want. I'm going to fill you up with me cum, so filled up to where you can even bare my children".

Your thrusting became faster making Ranpo moan out your name. You only got faster as you really did want to leave Ranpo filled with something else that is sweet. You knew Ranpo was close as he squealed out letting you know he is close and with a few more thrust he came but that only made you go faster and now Ranpo was crying from feeling to much.

"B-baby-please it hurts" "Dont worry-fuck- i'mma cum so hope your ready". With that your thrusting was making Ranpo more weak as he can only slur out his words. Once you felt you were about to cum again you leaned down kissing your boyfriend as you cum filled up Ranpo.

You both are left panting sweaty body together as you held your sweetheart. "Ranpo I promise i will take a week off just for the both of us, are you okay with that", it took Ranpo a few minutes before he smiled at you "All I want is for you to be with me" "And I will".

Bonus-

A knock came from your door as you opened it to see Atsushi. "Hey WereTiger, What's up?" "Well there were left over sweets so I thought you and mostly Ranpo would like some" "Well thank you young man i'll see you next week" "Next week?". Before anything you closed the door walking back to your shared seeing Ranpo rub at his eyes. "Who was that?" "Atsushi but don't worry he just brought sweets to share" "Well that's amazing, hurry I want them already".

[cunt-draculaa]

though she needs you, more than she loves you and i know its over still i cling i dont know where else i can go i know its over, and it never really began but in my heart it was so real, and you even spoke to me and said if your so funny, then why are you own your own tonight?

[bridgyrose]

Another quick Ladybug fic request- post Salem AU where Blake and Ruby are off Huntress duty and rescue/adopt a litter of abandoned kittens

“You know you can relax, right?” Blake said as she glanced at Ruby out of the corner of her eye. “A day off isint going to kill you.” 

Ruby sighed and looked towards the nearest grimm siren, the look on her face almost hoping it would go off. “But what if there’s a grimm attack? O-or if we come across Cinder again? We should be ready for anything-” 

“And you agreed that you’d take the day off to relax.” Blake smiled and pulled Ruby by her arm, nearly swinging her off the path for a moment. “We’re supposed to be having fun, enjoying ourselves, not worrying about grimm or Cinder or anything else that can go wrong. Besides, Yang, Weiss, and all of our other friends are taking on what they can to make sure we can have a relaxing day. You can trust them.” 

“Yeah but…” Ruby let out a heavy sigh and leaned into Blake. “I know I can trust them, but, you know, what if something happens and they get hurt trying to give us a day off?” 

“Then something happens and there are other huntsmen to deal with it.” 

“But-” 

“No more buts, okay?” Blake sighed and pulled Ruby close. “You’re allowed to relax and the world wont fall apart. I promise.” 

“Right. It… I dont know, feels wrong to sit back while everyone else has to fight.” 

Blake kissed her cheek. “And that’s exactly why you need to rest. How about we make our way to the animal shelter and get ourselves a pet? That way you still have something you can take care of and not feel guilty.” 

Ruby nodded. “I… I can get behind that.” 

Blake gently pulled her along, walking down the streets of Vale. Her ears twitched at the sounds of the cars that passed by, a smile crossing her lips as she glanced at a few of the buildings that had been rebuilt, glad the effort to rebuild Vale had been going as well as it had. Grimm were now mostly under control, the wyvern on the Beacon tower had finally been dealt with and the grimm were pushed back. Supply trucks bringing material to Beacon to help rebuild the fallen school passed by, and it finally felt like peace was easier to obtain. 

Her ears twitched once more when she heard the small mew from a nearby kitten, her steps slowing as she looked around. “Did you hear that?” 

“Hear what?” Ruby asked. “If you mean the trucks-” 

“Not the trucks. A kitten?” 

“Are you sure you’re not hearing things?” 

Blake nodded and slowly made her way off the sidewalk and further into the park, her ears twitching at every sound. “I’m sure I heard a kitten around here somewhere.” 

Ruby nodded and started to follow after. “Maybe it was something that sounded similar.” 

Blake stopped and put a finger to her lips as she turned towards Ruby, signaling for her to quiet down. She looked around, ears moving with each sound until she heard the small mew once more from above her. “Ruby, can you check the tree?” 

Ruby quickly started to make her way up the tree, being careful not to slip on any of the branches. She paused for a moment when she saw a small kitten clinging to the branch. She quickly moved forward and used her semblance to grab the kitten before it fell and dropped to the ground. 

Blake quickly made her way over to Ruby and the kitten to check it. “Think its okay?” 

“Its… definitely scared,” Ruby said as she winced, feeling the kittens claws digging into her arm. “We should get it checked.” 

Blake nodded and started to walk around the park. “Take it to the vet, I’ll meet up with you there.” 

“And what are you doing?” 

“A young kitten like that isnt normally alone, especially if its stuck in a tree. Chances are, there might be more or its mother nearby.”

[cadaverre]

i know its over, still i cling, i dont know where else i can go, over and over and over and over, over and over

i know its over and it never really began but in my heart it was so real

[autism-connoisseur]

she needs you more than she loves you and i know its over still i cling i dont know where else i can go.