#i know there's MUCH worse asshole judge behavior out there

[mlobsters]

the great british bake off s14e4 (c11e4) chocolate week

paul being sweet

[alexiroflife]

jjk men calling you annoying...

"hi! ik u have a few reqs to do and ur going on vacation but i was reading some of ur works and saw u did a headcannon for calling jjk men annoying. i was thinking what if u did the opposite w the jjk men calling reader annoying? if u dont decide to do this thats okay! cant wait to eat up your other upcoming fics <3" -anon

some angst, jjk men being assholes (except for nanami)

satoru, suguru, kento, choso, toji, sukuna

satoru gojo:

normally, satoru is the one that is considered to be annoying. every higher up, coworker, and student of his alike would agree that satoru’s personality is pestering on its own, for his behavior doesn’t align with the severity of the jujutsu world in the eyes of others.

satoru has never cared how others judged him, for he often takes to picking on others for the sake of getting a reaction. he enjoys lightening the mood of drab situations, therefore he’s tossing around inappropriate jokes during meetings, teasing utahime for the umpteenth time, or trying to force megumi into spending quality time with him while the sixteen year old does his best to pretend he doesn’t know him in public.

and with you, he’s far worse. satoru can not bear being away from you or your attention being focused into anything other than him for longer than two minutes, and he’s always making an excuse to abandon whatever he’s doing to be by your side. satoru is the very definition of clingy, and while everyone finds it annoying, you can not deny that you adore how the strongest glues himself to you as though he can not bear for the two of you to be parted.

those around him believe it’s impossible for someone as annoying as gojo to actually be annoyed by anything, but you know what pisses him off. you know that he can not stand the jujutsu higher ups and how they antagonize children who were given no choice but to live the lives they lead. he can not stand the way they order him around to carry out unfavorable tasks with no regard for his past experiences or the experiences of the students that he is meant to monitor. he can not stand the lectures, the judgmental tones, the expectation of respect when it is not given in return.

and he can not stand when he is forced to attend hearings or meetings with them, where he has to listen to them drone on and on about how irresponsible he is when satoru is the only one truly looking out for the good of all groups. they demand so much of him, yet treat him like trash in return. nothing peeves him off more.

he knows that you understand this about him as a jujutsu sorcerer yourself, but you have the tendency to be more tolerant of injustices than he is. what he means is that you know how to save face for the sake of your own sanity and pay the elders no mind whilst simultaneously making them think that you are in cooperation with them. you know how to feign manners and respect, which satoru does not bother to do.

consequently, when you tell him that the upcoming meeting that he has scheduled with the higher ups is one he should attend instead of skipping due to its level of importance, he can’t help but be irritated with you.

“i’m just saying, satoru,” you say into the speaker with your phone pressed to your ear. the blue eyed man is on his way to said meeting after you practically forced him to attend, and he’s not at all happy about it. “once you’re in there, you’ll be out in no time.”

“(y/n), somehow those pricks make a half an hour feel like two,” your boyfriend complained into the phone. you place your hand on your hip and look up to the ceiling.

“you’re being so pessimistic about it,” you sigh. “it’s gonna be worse the worse you talk about it.”

“no, it’s gonna be bad regardless because these higher ups don’t know up from down or left from right.”

you can tell he’s growing aggravated, which was the opposite effect you wanted this call to have. you lower your head and attempt to shift, to reassure him in a different way.

“it’s gonna be okay, toru,” you tell him. “you’re above these people anyway, no matter what the hierarchy at this school is-“

“if you really thought that, you wouldn’t have made me go.”

you frown. “you didn’t really have a choice with this one, you know that right? whether you like the assholes or not, the meeting itself is important. you need to be there.”

“i really wish you’d stop saying that,” he exhales, agitatedly.

“stop saying what?” you scrunch your face, hand falling from your hip. “that it’s your responsibility?”

“yeah, actually,” he snaps. “hell, you’re starting to sound just like everyone else.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” you scoff. “satoru, i’m just trying to help you. sometimes you just have to suck it up and deal.”

“suck it up?” he repeats incredulously. “i suck it up every day of my life. everyone wants me to do something for them, but expects me not to have my own opinions in return and that shit doesn’t make any sense.”

“that’s not what i’m trying to say-“

“then what are you trying to say? to just go along with all the messed up shit the higher ups want me to do?”

“no.”

“then what?”

“to just attend a meeting for the sake of your job, satoru. my god, that’s all.”

he tchs, and you can imagine him rolling his eyes on the other line. “fine. whatever.”

“what’s with your attitude? i’m genuinely just trying to look out for you, like…?”

“you’re not helping, (y/n). you’re being annoying.”

his words sting, and you stand still in the hall to your classroom as you register satoru’s tone and accusation. there’s silence, and satoru knows that when you say nothing more, he’s crossed a line.

even so, he’s too heated currently to own up to it in this moment, so he lets the silence swallow you both as he walks.

“okay,” you mumble apathetically after a while. “bye, satoru.”

you hear him prepare to say something, but your thumb is already hiding the end call button.

throughout the next half and hour, you try your best to focus on teaching your lesson to the second years, but you find yourself struggling.

you understand satoru’s frustrations with the higher ups, but to take that frustration out on you is completely uncalled for.

and to call you annoying? for ensuring that he doesn’t further endanger his already shaky position with the the authorities over him? how ungrateful is that! how could he label you as a disturbance to him when all you’ve ever done was try to lighten his load?

you don’t understand it. and it hurts to know that one little thing in comparison to the plethora of clingy annoyances that satoru has the habit of displaying that you don’t even find aggravating is enough to send him over the edge.

you’re aggressively erasing your chalkboard at the end of your lesson when you hear the sound of air flushing and papers fluttering behind you. immediately, you feel satoru’s presence much to your displeasure.

“baby?” he calls you tentatively, though you already know full well that he is there in your vacant room. you don’t reply, continuing to swipe your eraser over the chalk. “baby, please don’t ignore me,” he sighs guiltily. “can i… can we just talk?”

“get out, satoru.”

you can physically feel Satoru’s mannerisms droop behind you, but you do not fall for it. he deserves your standoffishness, your unwillingness to engage.

“i just wanna talk, (y/n)… just five minutes?”

you clench your jaw, brows angling tensely as his earlier words run through your mind again and again. your pace picks up and your movements grow harsher.

before you know it, you feel the white haired man brushing behind you inches away, reaching a hand to your shoulder. “(y/n)?”

“stop!” you rip away, stepping back. satoru retracts his hand quickly, crystal eyes blown wide as he watches you. you slam your eraser down onto the ledge and hold your hands up. “just stop! you don’t get to be rude to me and then just come back around as if everything’s okay. what if I don’t want to talk to you?”

having removed his blindfold before coming here, you can see the pain and remorse circling in his gaze. “pretty, i didn’t mean to say what i said,” he starts again slowly. “i-i’m sorry, i was just overstimulated and angry- not even at you, and you were telling me to do something I didn’t want to do but had to do, then i…” he huffs. “i’m so sorry.”

you fold your arms and stare harshly at the board, brows twitching as satoru’s smooth, genuine apology flows through your ears.

when you still don’t say anything, satoru’s mouth tugs downward and his lashes fluttere prettily over his cheek. “it’s okay if you don’t wanna talk to me or see me right now. i was being shitty, and i didn’t mean it, baby. i just had to come and tell you that as soon as the meeting was over… and you were right. i needed to be there.”

you close your eyes. “why don’t you ever listen to me?”

satoru practically jumps when he hears you speak. “what did you say?”

“you never listen to me, toru,” you look at him desperately. “you always do what you want to do, and when i have to make you do something, you pout. is what i say really that unimportant to you?”

“no,” he rushes out, swooping in to stand before you so he can meet your eyes up close. “no, no, no. no, that’s not it.”

“then what is it?”

“i listen to you, baby. i do, i just struggle when you give me suggestions about work because we have completely different approaches. you play by the rules more and i do what i think is best even if it’s not what I’m told is best. which is okay. i’m not saying that either way is better than the other, it’s just that difference between us clashes sometimes.”

you hum.

“but that doesn’t mean i don’t listen, or don’t respect you, (y/n). i respect you more than anyone i know.”

“then you should act like it.”

“i know,” he pushed out his bottom lip, taking your forearms in his hands. “i know, i can be all over the place sometimes. i’m sorry pretty girl.”

you wish you could stay angry, but satoru’s touch almost instantly melts away the tension in your body. almost.

“please don’t call me annoying like that again,” you look over him. “seriously, that wasn’t nice.”

“never,” he swears. “i promise, never again. i don’t even know why it came out in the first time. please forgive me, baby, I’m sorry.”

you exhale, and before you can respond, satoru is ducking down and suffocating your face with a plethora of kisses from your forehead to cheeks and down to your jaw. murmurs of apologizes slip through as he attacks you, and you squeal as you try turn away.

“okay!” you shout, pushing at his chest. “i forgive you, get off!”

“i love youuu,” he lands a particularly long kiss to your nose. “so much. let me take you out tonight to apologize properly, pretty. will you let me?”

you stifle a smile, keeping your hands to your chest as you glare up at him when he pulls away with a grin. “fine.”

suguru geto:

suguru loves you dearly, truly he does, but he notices that the longer he is in a relationship with you, the more entitled you become. granted, he spoils the hell out of you because you’re his one and only, therefore he only feels it is appropriate to shower you with the unconditional love that he has for you.

you know that suguru rarely ever says no to you. hell, he doesn’t want to deny you of the things you ask of him because he should be the person that you always come to for anything. along with his girls, you’ve stolen his heart, and his love language is taking care of you - making you rotten.

so when suguru can not abide by what you demand, you pout and poke and prod and pester. in some ways, you remind him of how satoru used to behave in his company, so commanding of what you want from him in the most combative, brattiest way that it has him rubbing the space between his forehead with angled brows.

and the attitude on you is criminal. suguru knows he can not necessarily talk because his attitude is just as bad, but the moment suguru disagrees with you about something, you make it a point keep pressing the matter sassily.

there are a million things that suguru finds to be more of a pain to his peace than you, but he can not deny that when you get on his nerves, you truly tick him off.

suguru is known to have very little patience in general. he chalks it up to his occupation, having to deal with idiotic human beings all day to the point where it wears down his capacity for bullshit. he needs things to resolve themselves at his pace in order to feel as though he can go about his day, but when they don’t, it frustrates him to no end.

that is why when you fail to give it a rest after suguru has told you no four times now to getting lunch with you because he has business to take care of, he is beginning to lose his cool.

“(y/n),” suguru exhales your name in exasperation. he’s on his way out of the front door. “angel, you know i’m busy today. you’re usually a lot more understanding when it comes to my schedule, i don’t know where the disconnect is right now.”

you’re growing upset, for you’ve never enjoyed watching suguru leave, but for some reason you are feeling all the more sensitive to his departure today. the dark haired cult leader has been so busy lately that you and the girls have hardly been able to catch him for longer than five minutes when he’s home. you want to sit and talk with him, to at least have a quick thirty minute meal together, but he’s still refusing you, and you never fair well with being refused by geto.

“but suguru,” you curl your brows and gaze at him sadly. “I’m just asking for one day. that’s all, we don’t even need to be out long. i already have a place in mind that’s right around the corner from the group- i can even pick you up. you won’t have to worry about a thing. please, just this once?”

the hazel eyed man can not stand saying no to you, even more so when you look at him with such pleading in your eyes, but he’s told you a hundred times that he can’t do what you please today. as much as he’d love to go to lunch with you, there are no exceptions. he’s already pushing himself behind by trying to reason with you.

“the answer is no, (y/n),” he tells you with soft sternness. your frown deepens leading Suguru to walk over to you. he guides his hand to your waist and presses a kiss to your forehead in an attempt to make you feel better. “i’m sorry. i know things haven’t been the best lately with me being home, but i’m trying my best.”

you want to be more supportive, but you miss suguru. you do, and to feel like a second priority to a cult he doesn’t even like makes you upset.

you grumble incoherently under your breath and cross your arms. suguru feels your stature shift, and he pulls away to eye you. you avoid his gaze purposefully, and suguru instantly knows what’s going on with you.

“don’t start,” he advises as a warning. you don’t take well to the comment, the muscles in your face tightening as you go to ease away from suguru’s grasp. he doesn’t have time for this right now. “i mean it.”

“i’m not even doing anything,” you murmur, looking down as suguru examines you closely.

“you’re sulking.”

“okay, and maybe that’s because i don’t want my boyfriend to leave?” you snap.

“i know, (y/n). you’re acting like i want to leave too, but this is work.”

“and clearly work’s more important now,” you roll your eyes.

suguru shakes his head and pulls away with narrow eyes. “you’re being incredibly irritating right now.”

you freeze, geto’s words stabbing you through the chest like a stake to the heart. “what?” you repeat weakly, your grit having gone.

“you aren’t listening to me. it’s getting old and it’s irritating,” he says again, this time as he turns away and walks back to the door.

you stare at his back blankly. your heart hammers against your chest, and your face falls. normally when you behave a certain way that suguru doesn’t appreciate, he spends his time either circling back and trying to reach and understand or punishing you. but now, he’s just walking away with no intention of doing either. you expected more, and you hadn’t expected for him to outright call you annoying.

sure, you push a little too much sometimes, but annoying? all you want is him. is it annoying to desire such a simple thing?

“i’ll be home later, alright? we can talk about this when i get back,” he tells you, pulling the door open and allowing the sunlight to peer in. when you do not respond, he speaks again in annoyance. “alright?”

you still don’t answer, and this time he turns over his shoulder to see what is keeping you from giving him a verbal affirmation.

his face relaxes, however, when he says you standing silently with your hands at your sides. your gaze has turned to one of subtle embarrassment as you frown, mulling over suguru’s emotions in a less stubborn, more deflated manner.

despite suguru’s irritation with you, the moment he sees your discomfort, he’s flipping the switch in an instant.

slowly, he shuts the door again without a word. he figures it won’t hurt anyone to be another five minutes late, for he is the founder of the religious group after all. what he says goes, and he will not leave until this mild conflict with you is sorted out.

he walks over and takes your head in his hands, tilting your face up to reveal your big, shiny eyes. with another quiet sigh, he’s taking one hand and rubbing your shoulder as he holds your stare.

“i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” he tells you gently, immediately knowing what is plaguing you. “i’m just frustrated.”

“…frustrated with me?” you ask slowly.

he presses his lips together. “yeah, angel. i am a little bit,” he confesses honestly. while this isn’t the response you wanted, geto knows it’s the response you need to hear… even if you struggle to accept it, your head nodding stiffly but your eyes telling a story of humiliation. and he hates it. he hates how unhappy you look, but no good has ever come from partners lying to one another about how they feel.

“but,” you start as suguru’s swipes a thumb over your brow lovingly. “suguru, all i wanted was to have lunch with you. is that such a crazy thing? you’re hardly around anymore.”

“i know, (y/n), and no it’s not, but you’re not respecting the fact that while i want to more than anything, i can’t. not today,” he says once more. “i do this for you and the girls too, you know. it’s not just for me. any money i make is yours, and if i need to work my ass off to provide for you and our future, i will. and it’s not fair for you to throw a fit when i can’t drop all of that when you ask me to.”

it’s a hard pill for you to swallow, but you know that suguru’s point is more than valid.

you inhale and exhale deeply, his touch swarming you tenderly despite how he feels. “I’m sorry,” you apologize. “im sorry for pushing. i just want you here. it gets hard sometimes, you know?”

“I know.”

he pulls your face in to kiss your cheek softly, your hand going to cradle his wrists.

“and i’m sorry if you’ve felt neglected in any way, and for calling you irritating. there was probably a better way for me to say that.”

“it’s okay,” you mumble as pulls away. “i probably was being annoying anyway...”

geto smiles softly. “you were,” he chuckles, and you gap at him.

“suguru,” you frown and he laughs again.

“sorry.” the hazel eyed man leans in to capture your lips in a soft kiss before you can pour any longer, eyes gleaming kindly when he draws back. he at least does not look aggravated any longer, his features much calmer than before. “how about a day out this weekend? you, me, and the girls.”

your eyes light up. “really? you’re sure?”

“yeah, angel,” he nods. “i miss you all too, you know. you’re all i think about when I’m dealing with those monkeys all day.”

“…can we maybe go to the farmer’s market?” you suggest. “i wanna get some stuff to make a big dinner for us, and the girls want to get some flowers.”

“absolutely we can. sounds great.”

“thank you,” you smile, wrapping your arms over his neck and tugging him down into a tight hug. suguru laughs gently, sliding his arms around you. “i hope you have a good day today. i won’t pester you about work anymore.”

“okay, baby,” he rubs your back. “I gotta go now, okay? i’ll try not to be out late. i love you.”

“i love you too.”

kento nanami:

despite kento’s remarkable talent in serving you as your partner, he is still a human being subject to human emotions. when he’s annoyed with you, he doesn’t make it your problem. he simply makes it known that he is beginning to be plagued by the feeling, and though it hurts your feelings, you understand and give him the space he needs.

kento does not get irritated with you often at all. you are a gift upon his stressful life, and it’s difficult for you to pose as a source of stress when the rest of his life is already so anxiety-inducing. you’re his everything, and even when he does get ever so slightly annoyed with you, it’s never at the same level as other factors - like gojo. you don’t even begin to compare.

the only time nanami finds himself growing upset because of you is when you choose not to listen to or communicate with him.

nanami works hard to put your needs before his own and he is more than happy to do so. he feels it is the only way things should be, for as long as you are happy and well cared for, he is content.

however, there are moments when he does so that can come off to you as a tad overbearing. he cares for your physical and mental wellbeing, so that also comes with constant check ins about whether you’re eating properly or how much sleep you’re getting. it’s sweet, his persistent doting, but you don’t always fair well with how often he’s interrogating you about your lifestyle when he literally witnesses every second of what you do as your fiancé.

and of course, when you react poorly by getting even the slightest hint of an attitude or portray your own annoyance in a poor manner, nanami, who always tries his best to find a solution to problems if you are bothered by something, is bothered himself when you do not cooperate.

nanami is incredibly patient with you, and he tries his best to practice patient with you when he internally feels you are being unreasonable.

so he resorts to silence as he ponders what to do next. you’re both sitting at the kitchen table as tension swirls about. your knee is frantically bouncing as you glare ahead. you don’t like when kento does something to bother you, for everything he does is so perfect you feel like you don’t have a right to be bothered, and you rarely ever are. and you may try to hide when you’re upset, but nanami sees you so clearly. he knows you like the back of his hand, therefore, there is no hiding.

and of course, nanami would never grow annoyed with what you feel… it’s how you communicate with him when you feel a certain way. you shut down and make it impossible for him to talk through it, and as someone who likes to work through things while they are occurring, it’s a bit of a pain when you go quiet and refuse to give him anything.

now, you both sit rather annoyed with one another, for that is likely the only instance nanami will feel some sort of irritation sparked by you. the blonde taps his finger against the table with his legs crossed, unsure of how to move forward. he’s tried calling your name, tried asking you what’s wrong, tried suggesting anything he can do to fix it, but you, afraid to even further speak truth into your emotions, reply with shrugs and mute shakes of your head.

it takes at least another few minutes for nanami to rise slowly, fixing the collar of his shirt and clearing his throat you look up and see by his rigid posture that he is not in the happiest of spirits, and when you finally notice, you realize that he had been silent along with you for quite some time now, his series of questions having ceased.

“i am going for a drive,” he announces formally. you blink up at him, your knee still bouncing. his chocolate eyes meet yours with a hefty sigh. “i won’t be longer than forty minutes.”

forty?!

“…okay,” is the very first word you have said in a while, and nanami nods curtly. though he appears indifferent, his shoulders are tense, his jaw is taut, and a dent creases the space between his brows. you can tell by these signs that he has grown to match your previous feelings. “where are you going?”

“to clear my head. i don’t believe anything productive will come from the both of us sitting here like this.”

you furrow your brows. “are you angry with me now?”

“no,” he gathers his keys. “i am not angry. only, admittedly, a bit perturbed,” he says without looking at you.

you know that nanami had annoyed you first, but to hear him tell you so is humbling nonetheless. what reason does he have to be annoyed? what did you do?

“um,” you stumble. “why…?”

the prospect of you now trying to interrogate him after he had spent so much time trying to get through to you, or at least a word out, does very little to ease the man.

he lifts a hand, guiding his palm out to ease the conversation before it can escalate. “(y/n), i’m not in any state to talk about this right now. give me a bit and i will be back.”

his eyes find yours to ensure that you see that earnest in his brow hues, and your shoulders slump, your knee stilling completely.

“is that alright?”

you nod slowly. “yes. that's alright.”

kento nods again, swiping up his jacket from the back of his chair before stepping out of the door, clicking it shut behind him.

you reel in his absence, sitting in the aftermath. maybe you reacted poorly… but you couldn’t help it. you don’t always enjoy being overwhelmed with a series of questions from your boyfriend as though he is your doctor or father. sometimes you just wish to be.

you know he only does so out of concern. you know he loves you, better than anyone has ever loved you, but your reaction had been involuntary.

the look on nanami’s face only proved that you should have handled the situation differently. you hate when he’s upset, but that way of thinking alone is unfair. he likely hates when you’re upset too, and you shut down when he was trying to help.

as guilt swarms you, you retreat to the living room where you mindlessly flip through the tv channels, your focus elsewhere.

kento ends up returning hardly twenty minutes later. you look in surprise to the door as he enters with takeout in his hands. he looks up, his face a bit more relaxed as he enters.

neither of you speak as he kicks his shoes off at the door and makes his way toward you. he sets the bags of food down on the coffee table before you and slowly sits down next to you, hands to his thighs.

“i got us dinner,” he says as you shuffle to make room for him. the aroma of your favorite thai food fills your senses and makes you become rather aware to your hunger, for you haven’t eaten in a while.

kento sits with his forearm resting on his knee, his body facing you. you look away, embarrassed to even speak to him, though you do whisper a ‘thank you’ that is only audible to nanami because he is seated right beside you.

he reaches a hand out to hold yours, his other sliding over top to caress the back of it. “honey,” he starts softly. “I don’t want this to go on longer than it should.”

“you’re back earlier than you said,” you mention, looking down at his hands over yours.

“i didn’t need to be gone long to want to sit down with you about this again.” you nod. “are you okay?” he asks you, and you nod again.

“yeah, are you?”

“i’m better,” he answers. “my intention was not to leave on a bad note so abruptly. i just needed a moment to myself.”

“no, i understand, ken. i don’t blame you for taking a step back.”

“are you okay with me telling you why i was upset?”

“of course i am.”

he gives a gentle smile before proceeding. “it seems that every time i try to work through something with you, you do not wish to cooperate. if you were to tell me that you need space before explaining, i would understand better and give you time, but you say nothing. you barely even look at me, and i try my best to give you the patience you deserve but you do not do the same for me.”

“it’s not that- I wasn’t trying to be impatient with you, it’s just that sometimes i don’t want to talk about things.”

“then I would prefer it if you’d say that instead of shutting me out, because then i’m left to pick up the pieces with nothing to go off of,” he pleads. “and it’s unhealthy for you to harbor everything that bothers you inside. you could get sick doing that, and it hinders our communication.”

you can tell he is about to give you another lecture, which is what led you here in the first place. you take in a deep breath and try to regulate yourself, glancing down. “yeah, i hear you,” you mutter. “i just get… i don’t know, it feels weird to tell you when something you’ve done bothers me.”

“why, sweetheart?”

“because you’re so good to me,” you frown. “you don’t deserve to hear that i’m upset with you for probably no reason.”

“look at me, honey.” you oblige, locking eyes with his once again shyly. “as good as i am to you and you are to me, getting angry or upset or irritated with one another is normal. it’s healthy. no relationship is free of trials, and if this is our worst problem, i’d confidently say that we are doing quite well.”

you listen to him carefully, taking in his words as you look over his face.

“now, will you tell me what it was i did to upset you earlier?”

“it’s so stupid, ken.”

“your feelings are not stupid. please. i need to know so i don’t repeat my mistakes.”

you huff and eventually give in. “well, sometimes... you do this thing… where you lecture me… and i appreciate you looking out for me all the time, but sometimes when you ask me a hundred things at once about stuff that I’m more than aware of as an adult, it makes me feel like you’re patronizing me.”

a stern look of realization crosses the blonde’s features. “i had no idea.”

“i mean… i never told you, so i was getting upset with you for something you weren’t even aware of,” you exhale. “i’m really sorry, kento. I struggle with communicating certain things, and i shouldn’t have allowed myself to get so irritated in the first place.”

“there’s no need for you to apologize,” he dismisses. “i apologize for making you feel as though I’ve been speaking down to you. i only check in so often because i care.”

“i know,” you lean in. “and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“but i can see how it may be a bit overbearing,” he admits. “i’ll try to mind myself in the future.”

“oh, it’s okay, ken,” you lift your hand to his cheek, smoothing a thumb over his cheekbone. “you’re perfect, baby. i’m sorry if i made you feel otherwise.”

“i am far from perfection, my love,” he kisses your inner palm. “i make plenty of mistakes.”

“so do i, clearly,” you chuckle.

he smiles again, and this time it reaches his warm eyes. “yes, but the way i see it, you would not be perfect without them.”

choso kamo:

choso, bless his heart, has never found anything you do to be even remotely close to what he could find annoying. everything you do in his eyes is perfect, flawless, and he clings to you so much that he finds it impossible to think of your actions or words as something that poses as an aggravation to him.

what he finds irritating is when yuji will borrow his shirts without asking and fail to return them for days, or when he’s been assigned on a mission and it lasts far longer than he intended to be there, the task cutting into time he could be spending with you, or even when other people serve as a nuisance to you. you have never, ever been on the list of things that get on his nerves, and he doesn’t think you ever will be.

that’s why he feels such guilt when he starts to feel that familiar sense of annoyance bubbling in his chest when you keep asking him to let you know about his plans for the weekend.

you’ve asked him numerous times at this point, and he has given you the same answer: he doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing with his brother or when he’ll be home, and that he’d let you know as soon as he figures it out. but you know that by the time he ‘figures it out’ it will be past the time you need to plan around his absence.

you’re an organized person, and you like to know in advance what is happening in your boyfriend’s life so that you can either prepare to spend some time with him or not waste the effort looking forward to doing so if he will be out late. this is especially a big deal to you because choso tends to get carried away when spending time with his little brother. the brunette loves his family so dearly, and you have always admired how fiercely he cares for those close to him, but his tendency to just go along with whatever yuji’s hyper mind thinks of on the spot without having the sense to think of how it will impact his brother’s girlfriend yet always gets to you.

you want choso to spend time with his brother, you do, but you just wish that he would have the decency of letting you in on what he plans to do on the days they are together more often.

therefore, it is friday and you continue to ask him to let you know what the plans are, and choso, still not completely understanding of what you want, is growing tired of the nagging.

“i already told you, love,” he reasons as best as he can with you, his voice dipping lower. “i don’t know how long we’ll be out. i promise you i’ll let you know.”

you’re moving about the kitchen while choso stands at the corner, eyes heavy as he watches you. he’s trying his hardest to mask his growing agitation, for he knows that you are very keen on picking up on his tells that reveal his emotions. when he’s aggravated, his brows angle ever so slightly and his lids weigh over bored vision, his lips curled in a frown.

you haven’t looked at him yet. your back is to him as your rummage through your fridge. “yeah, cho, you said that already, and you say that every time you go out,” you close the fridge door, carton of eggs in your hand for you to prepare lunch.

“and i always come back,” he says, shrugging slightly. “I don’t understand what the problem is… i’d never stay out all night without coming back.”

“it’s not about you coming back or not, it’s about when you come back,” you try to explain, placing the eggs on the counter to turn and reaching to grab a bowl. “i’ve definitely talked about this before, right? sometimes i stay up for you or want to hang out with you when you get back, but you never give me an estimated time when you’re with your brother so i can plan around it.”

choso exhales through his nose slowly, looking down. “the point is that if i knew, i’d tell you…”

you look up, catching the dipped pitch in his tone, and tilt your head to the side upon taking in his stature. he’s pouting.

you stop what your doing, pressing your hands to the ledge of the other side of the counter and leaning over with a suspicious look.

“are you alright?” you ask slowly.

choso meets your eye, a hint of a deer in in headlights look capturing him. “yes,” he says stiffly, quickly, and you are not convinced whatsoever.

“you sure? because your face says otherwise,” you nod toward him.

conflict is pretty foreign to the two of you within your relationship. neither of you ever want to upset the other, so in tiptoeing around certain issues, a lot of them are either brushed over and pent up. choso specifically things it’s damn near a sin to be upset with you, and you him, for he still does not understand certain inner workings of human connections.

he does not want to ruin what he has with you, and he does not comprehend why he is growing annoyed with someone he cherishes so much. he still loves you, but he can’t help this feeling. it burdens him with guilt, and he does not know how to respond once you catch him.

“is something bothering you?” you ask carefully. “are you upset because i keep asking about this weekend?”

choso doesn’t respond. he feels like it’s a trap, for he would never lie to you but to admit that he’s annoyed is an entirely different ball park that he is horrified to step into. he looks at you shamefully, face still tense but he’s trying hard to relax, to mask the way he truly feels.

you raise a brow. “…choso?”

“i’m fine,” he tells you. once again, he’s answering far too quickly.

“okay,” you exhale, shifting on your feet. choso watches you anxiously, keeping incredibly still as though moving will make the earth shatter. “I know you really well, cho. clearly the conversation is bothering you.” after another moment of silence from your boyfriend, you continue. “you can be honest with me, or else you’ll just be carrying this around with you all day.”

“…i don’t wanna upset you,” he eventually murmurs.

“I understand, but that’s not realistic,” you say with subtle sternness in your tone. “just like it’s not realistic to pretend like you aren’t upset right now when i can clearly tell you are. we both have rights to feeling whatever we feel, so just… come on, tell me what’s going on.”

with a pensive expression, choso slowly allows himself to give in. “it’s just that…” he begins hesitantly. “i’m not really sure what you want me to tell you anymore. about my plans.”

“i'm not asking anything out of the question, i just want you to plan more for my sake.”

“but i keep repeating myself when i tell you that yuji and i don’t plan… it’s a little…”

“it’s a little what?”

“just… kind of… annoying.”

you reel, staring at choso incredulously. you never thought you would have seen the day where your sweet significant other, horrified of touching you the wrong way, would call you annoying. admittedly, you’re a little wounded. you haven’t done anything wrong, and yet choso is aggravated by your desire to simply know what time he’s coming home. you’re not asking for too much. you hardly believe you’re asking for anything at all. you know that choso can be irrational, but never with you. never like this.

you nod to yourself slowly, pursing your lips. choso eyes you carefully, uncertain of how his own words have landed. you wanted him to be honest, and this is how he’s feeling. should he have just lied? should he have kept it to himself anyway?

suddenly, you resume what you are doing and turn away from choso wordlessly. the violet eyed man’s eyes widen as you go searching for a pan, and air of intensity about you.

“(y/n)?” he says your name cautiously after a while of you shuffling about. “you okay?”

“it’s cool,” you respond shortly, and choso shrinks.

he moves to round the counter to approach you slowly, but you do not slow yourself when you notice him moving into the kitchen beside you. “i don’t think it is…”

“choso, i know how you feel now and that’s that. i’ll leave it be.”

you sound mad. choso doesn’t like it at all, and he’s unsure of how to even speak to you this way. he doesn’t want to further ruin your mood, but he has to make sure you’re alright… that he didn’t cross some sort of line.

“i’m sorry,” he hastily apologizes. “I wasn’t trying to make things worse.”

“don’t apologize for what you feel,” you strictly say, moving to the other side of the kitchen the second choso gets close to you.

he stops, his traces of annoyance having completely washed away. “but you’re mad now.”

“i’m not mad, i just- i’m a little annoyed too now.”

he deflates. “oh,” he mumbles, hands falling to his sides. “then, what do what do now?”

you exhale, taking a moment to pause and turn to face choso from the other side of the space. “i wanna talk about why i’m irritated.”

“okay… and that won’t make it worse?”

“no, because i’ll at least be getting my point across.”

he nods dejectedly. “alright. why are you upset?”

“because you won’t take a second to put yourself in my shoes and understand that planning for my sake now that we live together will help ease my anxiety,” you explain, your hand moving about as you emphasize your stance. “i don’t care how long you and yuji are out. that’s not the point, and i know you don’t plan, but I’m asking you to at least start to, because i get tired of falling asleep waiting for you because i don’t know when you’re coming home. if i knew in advance, i wouldn’t have to stay up or get my hopes up about you coming back at a certain time. and then you tell me that i’m annoying you because i just want to be informed. like, that’s a little rude, choso. it’s basically like you saying you don’t care what i ask for.”

“i do care,” he cuts in passionately, brows knitted with a look of guilted sadness. “i’m sorry. i didn’t know it was like that for you.”

“because you never bothered to ask.”

“i’m sorry,” he says again. “i shouldn’t have called you annoying. that was mean. you just… told me to be honest, so i said what i was thinking.”

“that’s another thing, choso, we’re not perfect. we’re people and we react to things differently. this isn’t the last time we’ll be annoyed with each other.”

“i don’t like that,” he grumbles.

“we don’t have to like it, but that’s just how things are. it doesn’t mean we love each other any less, and we’re not always going to agree on why we’re annoyed with one another.”

“…are we fighting?”

you scoff a slight, tired laugh and shake your head. “no, we’re not fighting. we’re just talking.”

“okay,” he nods. “well, i’m sorry. i am. i’ll try to do better about planning for you. and you’re not annoying, (y/n). i love you.”

you soften. “i love you too, cho, just please be more mindful of how you react sometimes.”

“i will,” he mumbles. “…can i… i mean, is it wrong to ask you for a hug or do you need some time?”

“come over here,” you beckon him over. the brunette is quick to comply, stepping heavily over to you and burying his face in your neck. you wrap your arms around his frame as he holds you, murmuring numerous apologies to you over and over in your ear.

“maybe i’ll just stay home,” he suggests, mumbling into your skin.

“you don’t need to do that, cho, that’s not what i was asking of you.”

“i know, but i’d rather stay in with you anyway. or maybe we can make it a group thing if you want to come with.”

“i’ll see how i feel this weekend, but that’s sounds great, baby. thank you.”

toji fushiguro:

toji has a habit of getting caught up in his stress accumulated from the day. he’ll return home grumpily, muscles twitching and lips tight in a scowl. his back aches and his head hurts, and all he wants to do is crawl up into bed with you and snooze for the rest of the night.

of course, this isn’t always plausible. life presents its daily interferences that throw off his plans of laziness with the woman he loves, and sometimes, the woman he loves herself is the very thing standing in the way of his tranquility.

you don’t do so on purpose. while toji leads his life of chaos and crime, you busy yourself with your own less illegal tasks, and those tasks and your desires by the end of the day don’t always match his. and toji, despite how wholly he loves you, has the unintentional tendency to be selfish, for it’s how he’s lived his whole life before meeting you.

and that tendency especially shines through when his mind is clouded by exhaustion. if he wants you to lay still with him for the rest of the night, why can’t he? why the hell do you have to run out to the store instead? or finish up an assignment that takes an extra hour and a half to complete? or try to talk to him about your day when he just wants peace and quiet in your wordless physical presence?

it ticks him off, and he’s already moody enough before he comes home to realize that he is not going to get what his mind and heart have been set on for hours. he tries his best not to take things out on you when he is in a healthy, normal conscious state, but he can not help it at the worst of times. before he knows it, he’s snapping at you all because you wanted to show him an album of pictures you came across during your visit to your parents today.

“oh!” you gasp excitedly, leaning into toji’s shoulder as you lounge with him on the bed, your phone presenting itself to his face. you’re propped up with your back to the headboard while toji is laid flat against the pillow with a sour expression. “and this one is from halloween when i was eleven! holy shit, look at my braces! damn, they really threw off the whole costume. i still look cute though, don't i?"

toji doesn't know how you haven't noticed his lack of response as you swipe through photo after photo, your voice a blabber of nonsense in his ear as he closes his eyes in vexation. he can feel himself nearing his last straw as you shift your entire conversation enthusiastically, diving into some story about your family that is hardly related to the pictures you have been sharing.

the dark-haired man is so tired, so fed up with noise and the questions you ask him that you do not even wait for him to respond to before you're cutting in and rambling on again - not that toji even would have responded.

he just wants to sleep... you're still going on, and he wants to sleep.

"and then there was the time that i-"

you're interrupted by a loud groan and the run of toji's large hands down his face. you falter, lowering your phone and furrowing your brows at him slightly, your smile dwindling upon finally taking note of toji's body language.

silence stills the room while toji keeps his hands concealing his face and you simply watch him, stunned.

"uh..." you start pensively, confused. "...why did you just-"

"for the love of christ, girl, can you be quiet for one second?" he interjects once more with the tear of his hands away from his face and the strike of his weary, tense eyes into yours.

you jump. "what?" is all you can ask, awed by the way your boyfriend just spoke to you.

"i had a long day, (y/n). the fuck don't you understand about that?"

your face is scrunching in offense now, your body retracting and your energy transitioning into dejected anger. "toji, why the hell are you talking to me like that?"

"cause you've been workin' my last nerve since i got home," he grits out, tense hands swiping the air. you stare at him with wide eyes. "i'm fuckin' tired. i don't wanna come home to you talkin' my ear off about shit i don't care about. just let me sleep, alright?"

you clamp your mouth shut, a lump forming in your throat and a pit swirling in your chest as you take in toji's hurtful words. his face is hard as he awaits a response from you, and you can do nothing but look at him pathetically, completely torn apart by how swiftly he had made you feel as though you are a burden to him.

you had not meant to interfere with his rest time. you thought he was resting by sitting cozily in bed with you. you thought that he would enjoy seeing pictures of you from the past, hearing about old memories that you revive for the sake of his enjoyment. hell, you would have enjoyed it if the roles were reversed and toji was sharing his childhood memories with you after a long day (if of course, his childhood had been a bit more positive).

you understand that you may have misread the situation, but there was no need for toji to be so cruel to you about it. you hate when he gets like this, so rigid and ruthless with his tone and his words that it makes you feel as though he wants nothing to do with you.

you fight the urge to cry, your body tensing as you swallow hard. you tear your eyes from toji's face, the vision alone scarring you as his words seep in. the green-eyed man watches you shut off your phone swiftly and tuck it carelessly into your pocket with a scoff.

he quirks his brow in befuddlement now as you push yourself off the mattress and cooly whisk yourself around the furniture and to the bedroom door. he pushes himself up, for he didn't want you to leave. he just wanted silence.

"where're you goin'?" he asks as though you have no reason to storm off. you halt in the doorway, whipping your head over your shoulder to glare at him with glassy eyes.

"to give you your space," you hissed. "after all, i don't want to 'work your last nerve' any more than i already have."

toji can tell by the glossiness of your gaze and the tremble of your voice that he fucked up. he sighs heavily, swiping a hand over his hair. "i ain't mean it like that-" he tries to defend himself, but you have none of it.

"sure you did, toji. or else you wouldn't have said it," you growl. "it's fine. really. you can be an asshole all by yourself while i'm gone. maybe you'll be able to sleep now that your girlfriend is out of the way."

you leave with a slam to the door, the walls shaking in your wake, and toji stares at the wall harshly. the overwhelming silence now envelopes him, the silence that he had been longing for since you started talking, and now that he has it, it doesn't feel right.

he curses to himself, scratching the back of his head. he shouldn't have snapped at you. all you had been doing was sharing something close to your heart with him, and he completely blew you off. it wasn't as though you were the source of his stress - it was his job, yet he reacted in such a way to make it feel as though you were the problem.

fuck. toji knows he has issues with regulating his anger, but he continues to swear that he will work on leaving you out of it, and yet here he is again, mulling over the after-effects of dragging you into his acidity once more.

he's not even tired anymore. he tries to doze off, but all he can think about is your face and how he hurt you.

when he steps out of his room, he finds that you are nowhere to be found in his apartment. he tries calling you, but you don't pick up. he resorts to texting you, asking where you are. you read the messages, but refuse to answer, ensuring that he knows you're pissed off.

he shakes his head and goes to check your location instead, which he is grateful to find that you haven't shut off. he knows you too well. you want him to chase after you and apologize, to put forth the effort that you at times feel he would not extend for your sake.

toji finds you at a bar around the corner, your chin propped in your hand as you stare ahead over the counter emptily with an untouched drink before you. you're slumped in your seat with your phone tucked under your hand, appearing so sad before him, and toji feels his heart ache knowing that he's the reason you look like this.

"go away," you grumble when you see his bulky figure approaching you out of the corner of your eye, not even bothering to look his way. the fushiguro leans his forearm against the counter beside you with his other hand propped on his hip. he tilts his head down to try to catch a glimpse of your face, and you simply turn away stubbornly.

"c'mon doll," he attempts to coax. "don't be mad."

"don't fucking tell me not to be mad, you dick."

toji drops his head. bad start. "listen," he begins, unsure of how to proceed. he has never been good with finding words in these situations. "i shouldn't've said what i said."

you turn to scour at him. "no shit."

he wants to chuckle at how angry you are, for you start cursing up a storm the way toji does on a daily basis, and he finds it rather endearing how quick you are to violate him with your language when he gets on your bad side.

toji doesn't realize that the skin beneath his eyes is creasing a the corner of his lip is tugging upward, for you're gaping at him and smacking his chest rather aggressively. "you think this is funny?"

"no, (y/n), i don't think it's funny," he chuckles, and you fume. you go to slam a few bills onto the table before jumping up from your stool and storming away. toji panics, reaching out and snatching up your arm in his grasp. you're tugged back to him against your wishes, fiery (e/c) hues seething into him as though you seek to kill him with your gaze. "stop, i'm tryna talk to you for a second."

"clearly you think my feelings are a joke to you, toji."

"i don't think that, doll, you know that."

"do i?" you raise your brows. "i wasn't so sure when you talked to me like i was nothing but a nuisance to you."

you go to tug away, but toji holds you to him, looking into your eye intensely. "you ain't a nuisance."

"then why talk to me like that?" you frown. "i wasn't even doing anything to hurt you, i was just trying to share something with you."

"i know baby," he softens, hand coming to cup over your neck. you turn away, leading him to smooth his hand over the back of your head instead as you look off to the side bitterly. "it wasn't you, it was my day-"

"i don't care," you huff. "you can't blame the way you treat people on shitty days - especially the way you treat me! i'm the person in this world who loves you, toji. if you need me to reel in on something, then just say that respectfully, but don't you dare go yelling at me the way you just did. it hurts my feelings."

toji sighs, looking over your face and caressing your hair. "i know, doll, m'sorry," he mumbles. "shouldn't be taking my shit out on you. you ain't ever done a single thing bad to me."

"yeah, you prick," you bite, and toji lets himself smile. "and stop smiling," you push against his chest. "nothing's fucking funny."

"you're right. nothin's funny at all," he agrees. "m'just happy i got a girl who knows how to fight back when i'm bein' an asshole."

"oh, what the fuck ever," you roll your eyes. "you're lucky i don't chop your balls off and hang them on display in the living room."

"nah, i much prefer you gettin' mean with me." he moves to cup your neck again, and this time you allow him, a pretty pout still on your face. "i deserve it."

"you sure as hell do..."

he chuckles, smirk spreading. "c'mere, doll," he pulls you into him, securing his arms around your frame and pressing you to his chest. you ease into him reluctantly, glowering off to the side as your check squishes into his pectoral. you don't hug back, for toji's biceps crush over you and trap your arms within his embrace as he rocks you slowly. "what can i do to make up for it?"

"go jump off a bridge," you mutter, body relaxing into his warmth as his chest rumbles with laughter against you.

ryomen sukuna:

sukuna belittling you with his words has never been anything new to you. while you understand that you withhold a space of softness in his heart that is reserved for you and you only, at times his comfortability with insulting you can go a bit far.

and of course, you’re used to it. he calls you “brat” and “woman” as though you are a nuisance to him when in reality, you are the only person on this planet he has bestowed those names upon with his own definition of affection. he clicks his teeth and rolls his eyes at you when you talk about something that he wants you to believe is of little interest to him, when he is taking mental note of the things you enjoy talking about so that he can suffocate you with your desires long after you have presented a specific like to his attention. and of course, he tells you you are an aggravation to his soul every damn two seconds, as though loving you brings him stress after eons of having lived so freely and ruthlessly - though he still does, your presence does more to ease him into a state of mellowness than anything has prior to his commitment to you.

he very clearly welcomes the feeling and connection to you, but masks so by calling you annoying. all the time. so of course, when he does normally, you are completely desensitized to it.

unless you’re already irritated.

occasionally, there is only so much of sukuna you can handle. you love him to death, but the two of you butt heads so often due to your stubborn natures and unwillingness to allow the other to win that it tends to wear you down after a while. sukuna calls you disrespectful for even talking back, yet allows you to continue to do so as if he gets off on the way you get snippy with him.

it’s entertaining to the lord, after all. why would he spend his time doting on someone boring?

nevertheless, if you’ve had a long day and are in no mood to deal with sukuna’s rather wide range of complex reactions to even the smallest of things that you do, his habits tick you off - especially so when he calls you annoying for something that you feel is anything but.

so as you complain to sukuna about how he needs to be mindful of how many sheets he’s running through by staining them with blood when he carelessly returns to your shared bedroom from yet another colorful expedition, you're peeved by the way he stares at you so carelessly. you’ve been begging him forever to be more mindful of how he treats his belongings, especially now that you share the same things, but he always brushes your concerns aside by saying that he can just get more. but god forbid someone else were to stain his sheets, then he’d be out for blood.

his arms are crossed as he stands before you, eyes rolling over the ceiling as he makes his agitation rather evident. you’re a little thing in comparison to him, yammering on about the tenth set of sheets he has stained this month, but he wants to hear none of it. why is it such a big deal to you anyway? he has thousands of servants and limitless access to resources, so it shouldn’t matter to you whatsoever. besides, you’ve stained numerous sheets of his over the years with your arousal and he’s never complained. why does it all of a sudden hold importance to you what state his belongings are in now?

“would you quit your moaning, woman?” he snarls, overpowering voice speaking over you. his eyes are hard and slim as they stare over you, and you’re bubbling with rage the moment he cuts into what you’re saying. “it is not of relevance to me, so why is it of any relevance to you?”

“because it is, sukuna! why do you only hold value to the things you care about? we share a bed, obviously i’m affected by this too!” you argue.

“you are not a servant. servants concern themselves over such things.”

“oh, so now i’m beneath you for talking about this?”

sukuna groans. “i did not say that, brat.”

“yeah, but you insinuated it!” you retort. “i’m tired, sukuna, i wasn’t trying to make this a big thing.”

“yet you are attempting to by persisting so irritatingly.”

you throw your hands up, at your wit’s end. why does he never listen to you when there is something on your mind? why does he always push aside what you feel matters when he decides it doesn’t matter to him? why is he always so cold with you, so steely and headstrong as though he remains above you like you haven’t been by his side all this time?

you know how sukuna is, and yet him calling your opinions irritating riles you up in this moment. everything has to turn into an argument, and it weighs you down. nothing can ever run smoothly without sukuna taking offense or scoffing at the idea of you coming to him with something you feel should be fixed. you can’t win.

"seriously?" you plead. "i mean, really, i'm irritating because i don't want to sleep in blood every night?"

"christ, you don't sleep in blood. the sheets are changed before you come to rest!" he barks. "that is why i find this so annoying. you are complaining for nothing."

"you know what? you're annoying!" you point a finger to his broad chest. the king of curses lifts a brow, looking down at where your finger prods into him.

"i beg your pardon?" an amused, low chuckle ripples through him as though the sentiment is unheard of, which only pisses you off even more.

"you heard me. you're the fucking annoying one. you're always going on about how i shouldn't talk back, or how everything i feel doesn't make sense, or how the things i want don't matter because you don't want them! you act like you're so far above me, when i'm the only one sleeping in bed with you, sitting on your throne, supporting your psycho-ass ambitions - but i'm the irritating one, right? your girlfriend is such a pain in the ass, isn't she? for caring about your wellbeing and loving you when nobody else will?"

the salmon-haired king's eyes go dull as you shout at him, fury raging in your eyes as you continue to poke at him. you're playing with fire, but you don't care. you're fed up with the pretending, with the sly comments about your intelligence as a human being and the value of your interests.

"woman-"

"shut up! i'm not done."

oh. you've really lost it now, haven't you?

normally, sukuna would have made it a point to silence you and teach you a lesson by now, but for some reason, he's feeling generous. slightly intrigued by your outburst, he lets you go on with a domineering smirk.

"i don't care of you're the king of curses, or if you could kill me with the snap of your fingers, or if you've got thousands of people who bow down to you without a second thought like mindless sheep-"

"you are not those people."

"exactly!" you agree without thinking, and sukuna's smirk brightens. "i'm not! so stop- stop treating me like i am! stop talking to me like i'm unimportant and like i get on your nerves more than i do anything good for you! stop blowing me off because you don't know how to empathize! i'm your girlfriend. i care about you, and i also care about the state of your things which you always make a point to say are mine too- and fucking sue me if i'm tired of walking into your room after a long day to see blood stains from random ass civilians while your servants work to replace them in the next hour! what if i wanna lay down before then, huh? ever thought about that?

"god, i just wish you'd care! is that so hard for you to do, sukuna? to care about me and what i care about? i didn't wanna argue with you, but you make it so damn hard for me not to lose my mind! you never hear me talk about how much you drive me crazy, and you drive me crazy every damn day of the week!"

"is that so?" he pries, slyly.

"yes!"

"i implore you, tell me more about how i drive you crazy."

"have you not been listening to anything i've-?!" you freeze, reconnecting with the moment to look in sukuna's eye and see how he is enjoying listening to your rant. you stop, stepping back and lifting your finger from his chest. you breathe in and out deeply, worked up by your own emotion, and you finally take a second to realize what you have been doing. "you're mocking me," you conclude.

"i am doing no such thing."

you scoff. "whatever, sukuna. just forget it. sorry i'm so irritating to you."

you go to walk off, but sukuna is already wrapping a set of arms around you, tugging you back to his chest. you grit your teeth, peering up over your shoulder to look back and find the demon grinning down at you teasingly.

"you need to relax," he muses.

"don't fucking tell me to relax, sukuna, i'm already pissed off."

"mm. i can see that, and in feeling so you have forgotten who you are speaking to."

"see, this is what i'm talking about! i'm not your servant-"

"yes, yes, i know. it was hard not to catch what you were saying during your little tantrum."

"fuck you," you groan, moving to push away. sukuna tightens his grip, winding his arms securely over your stomach and pressing you to his chest. "sukuna," you whine.

"stop taking everything so personally," he ducks down to speak into your ear over your left shoulder. you jerk, turning your head in the direction of his voice. "you are fully aware that you are not the same as everybody else. if you were, you would not be so mouthy."

"yeah, well it's hard to tell what you think sometimes when you call me annoying all the damn time. if you want me to leave you alone, just say that and i can stop wasting my time."

"enoughhh," he hisses. "you must stop taking things so far."

"and you must stop being so mean," you mimic his speech.

sukuna snorts. "do not worry about the sheets. i will retreat elsewhere after massacres if it while cease your whining."

"oh, how lucky i am," you click your teeth.

"quite so," he turns in to press his lips to the space under your jaw. "if you were anyone else-"

"i'd be dead," you finish, involuntarily leaning into him though your face is still tense. "no one else should be in your bed anyway, you know."

"that is why no one ever will."

[whomstress]

What it Takes to Feel Real (Part 1)

(Part 2)

Just wanted to explore Jax's more vulnerable side. Gooseworx here on tumblr said in an ask that everyone in the circus including Jax has a reason for why he turned out the way they are when asked if he was just an asshole or was it the circus that made him worse.

And though that's pretty vague I wanted to explore that! So here's a little bit of angst. Don't worry next chapters wholesome break!

‘This isn’t real,’ Jax tries to remind himself every day. It’s one of the things that keeps him sane. He could do anything he wanted here, and none of it would matter when he got out. All the bad behavior, pranks, and things he did just crossed the line. All of them really didn’t matter because, in the end, even if they could feel simulated pain, he literally could not do any real damage to anyone in here.

Wherever their real bodies were, they were much more in danger there than any loony toon charade he could do here. Caine tries to convince them that everything is constantly changing. But nothing ever changes. The same tent, the same sky, the same 90s digtial hell hole every damn day for years. Characters come and go, which is the only exception, except it’s also not. After all this time, he can tell who has it in them and who is going to crack. Only a matter of time is the real surprise before they’re tossed and forgotten with the rest of the cast. Heh “cast”, “characters”, he hated when he realized that’s all he sees them as now.

Knowing he can just do anything and everything he wants to when he wants to without any real-world consequences was something that somehow kept him sane. He probably says something about his psyche, but he doesn’t care to dwell on it. Sure, he was never a nice guy. For whatever reason he was here, he secretly knew he was the one who deserved to be here the most. Whether or not he’d admit it to anyone or himself was another story.

Still, the thought made him bitter. Why him? Yeah, he was a jerk and only got worse in here, but he knew he wasn’t a monster. Well, at least before. He's done some seriously questionable things since he’s been here. Some in private, some in public, and, to be honest, he didn’t care anymore. He knew what everyone thought about him. They think he’s a pest; oh, then he’d be a pest. Everyone here has gotten worse in their own way. Just cause he copes differently to stay alive, they had no right to judge him. None of them were better than him.

Except, one. Ragatha. The light in this tent. She stayed bright when others crumbled to the dark around her. She doesn’t even remember how many years she’s been here anymore, but he knows Kinger and her have been stuck here longer than anyone else. There had been several times he almost broke like everyone, but unlike everyone, Ragatha came to check on him. No matter what kind of asshole he’d been that week to her, trust him, sometimes it got bad. If she saw he was struggling, she’d put everything aside not to lose another “friend.”

He didn’t want to be her friend. For the longest time, they didn’t even like each other. She saw him as an annoyance, and he saw her as just another cog in the machine he got to mess with. He did have to admit that she was the most attractive one there. Probably because she actually had a human body, sort of at least, and so what? Kill him; he had a thing for redheads! However, again, that’s the furthest it went.

Out of everyone in this dump, she was the least annoying and funniest to mess with. Unlike Gangle, who’d cry like a baby, and Zooble, who’d try to beat his ass, she had a range of responses. From completely blowing it off to the cutest, least-threatening little pout to jumping in his arms to get away from a centipede, her reactions were always the best.

He found out the hard way. Things do change here. They got closer; it was the stupidest moment for her, but she saved him from falling straight into the basement when Caine wasn’t looking. The scene was straight from that movie for 5-year-olds, where she held out her hand for him and asked him if she trusted him. He looked at her and then at the pit of hell below him and said, “Yes.”

She grabbed him, nearly falling in herself, and when they were safe on the ground, she cried her eyes out into his fur, holding on to him like she was the one that was almost killed. Maybe it was from the shock, or maybe he was just too damn tired at that moment to push her away, but he let her cry in his arms. Shedding the tears for him, he vowed to stop letting him feel himself years ago. After that, things were different. It didn't matter anyway, he reminded himself; it wasn’t real.

He hated it, but he soon realized that whenever she called them friends, it annoyed him again, but in a different way. He didn’t want to be her friend, and he knew why. He tried to keep his feelings under wraps, still pranking and trying to play it cool, but of course she saw right through him. She knew something was "wrong,” and she wouldn’t leave him alone, no matter how much he pushed her away. Finally, he snapped; he’d purposely been avoiding her for days. Ignoring her and running the second he saw her face. He knew it was lame, but she was driving him nuts. It worked, or at least he thought it did.

He finally came home hours after everyone was asleep, only to find her literally on his doorstep. Rolling his eyes, he kicked her awake and told her to leave, but she didn’t blow it off like most times; she blew up instead. She started yelling, but he really wasn’t in the mood to make a scene and tried to leave her to go into his room. To his surprise, she pushed his door open and slammed it behind them. He joked about how she finally grew some before she came up and got in his face, chewing him out. She was telling him she cared about him, and it wasn't right; he was just ignoring her after all the progress between them. Although he did kind of deserve it, it still pissed him off, and with a wicked smile, he moved closer and closer into her space, making her back into the door and teasing, "Oh, you wanna kiss me so bad right now."

It was a joke. He wasn’t serious. None of this was. Another one of his games to get her to back off. But she didn’t. She didn’t back down, even though he could see how her face was red as he had cornered her against the wall. She still had fire in her. The one that kept her sane His eyes dilated into small squares while watching her expression. They’re practically chest to chest, and he can practically feel her heartbeat every time he takes another large breath to keep his cool.

With her this close, he catches her eyes dart to his lips, and he follows her lead. ‘This isn’t real,’ he reminds himself, and it almost works, almost. Well, at least that’s what he’d tell himself later. But when he looks up at her face, it’s flushed as red as her hair, and she cracks his final resolve with the most alluring and sensual, hushed, “Jax.”

He breaks. Not just a little bit but into a million pieces as his lips crash into hers. The only thought he can process is why he hadn't done this sooner. For the first time since he’s been here, it all felt real. Her lips, his heart that Caine swore he didn’t have roaring in his ears, his lungs gasping for air when they parted for a moment only to crash back together. He was a fucking knock-off bugs bunny kissing a life-size ragdoll in bad 3D animation, and he felt as existent as the memories he had of the life he didn’t mean to leave behind.

Her little gasps and whines, whimpering the only name he ever remembers against his mouth while wrapped in each other's arms, make him feel the most alive he’s ever felt. This damn circus will take it away from him again. He knows this; it’s hell for a reason, but he’ll savor all of it he can. All of her. Even if it’s just for a moment, even if it doesn’t happen again, he can pretend. This isn’t real, but God, for once, he wishes it was.

[lurkingshan]

While I think apologies should have been given to Boston (especially for the accusations) and his character was overall overlooked, I don’t think the show slut shamed him. Boston was accepted by his friends, even if they made light jokes about his sex life and Mew’s lack of one at the beginning, until he slept with his friend’s partner. This is one of the places I think the writing dropped the ball, because they could have made a sexual character who had their own drama without being a bad friend. And yes, everyone was a bad friend at some point, I’m just relating this specific topic to slut shaming the character. Him being left alone by his ‘friends’ at the end was not because he was slutty but because he was a shitty friend - once again, I blame the writing but he was the major catalyst for a lot of the drama. On the other hand, Nick and Boston could not have ended up together without one of them changing something significant about themselves, which would have been worse in my opinion. It’s okay to not want a monogamous relationship, and it’s also okay to want one. He wasn’t supposed to change himself for Nick and Nick wasn’t supposed to accept what he saw as crumbs and call it love. I don’t think the disapproval by his ‘friends’ had anything to do with his sex life nor do I think Nick actually disapproved of him it all, so much as he had to move on.

All that being said, I have only related this comment to the character being slut shamed. Overall, I think they simply used Boston for the purpose of plot and didn’t flesh him out the way they should have. Top was also initially a slutty character but was given the time to be likable (I still don’t like him but by the end of the show I didn’t like anyone so I digress). I don’t feel I know Boston’s motivations for anything, and if he was just supposed to be a “natural villain”, why would they make him so upset by his loneliness? It seems like everyone in the show did stupid shit for the sake of drama but they didn’t care enough about his character to let us know why or give him a full resolution. In fact, the only characters that truly got the time necessary to tell their story were the two main couples, and they just mentioned Boston in the process to close out his plot. He could have been a sexual character, who stayed a sexual character, made a bad decision, worked on the source of his behavior, and made up with his friends or found friends who understood him better, but the show didn’t care enough to do so. So instead, we look at it as the show saying “be a slut, and you’ll end up alone” when really I think it’s saying “don’t like monogamy? Don’t be in a monogamous relationship and don’t be an asshole to your friends (when we don’t have time or energy to give you backstory and depth)”

I still overall like the show because I don’t think it was meant to be truly realistic and more so just dramatic. None of the people should have been friends by the end of it tbh, but the performance were incredible and the characters who did have backstory were captivating.

Hello! There is a lot to unpack here so let me break this down a bit.

Boston was accepted by his friends, even if they made light jokes about his sex life and Mew’s lack of one at the beginning, until he slept with his friend’s partner.

I don't actually agree with this. We have been shown from the start and throughout the show that Boston's friends--Cheum and Mew especially--judge him for his promiscuity and look down on him for it. That is super consistent all the way through the finale. Tolerating his presence is not the same thing as actually accepting/respecting him.

And yes, everyone was a bad friend at some point, I’m just relating this specific topic to slut shaming the character.

See, but this is a key point. If everyone was a bad friend, why were only Boston's friend crimes treated seriously, and why is he the only one who owed apologies? The difference is that Boston is a slut and his friends were already treating him as inherently less worthy of compassion and ready to judge him for literally anything. You can't separate the two things, Boston is treated the way he is both because he's a slut and because he's a shitty friend.

Him being left alone by his ‘friends’ at the end was not because he was slutty but because he was a shitty friend - once again, I blame the writing but he was the major catalyst for a lot of the drama.

Just going to point out here that he is the only one who apologized and took accountability for his mistakes, while his friends did not offer him apologies for any of their own rather significant wrongs against him. So who is actually the shitty friend here?

On the other hand, Nick and Boston could not have ended up together without one of them changing something significant about themselves

I don't agree with this, either. In the conversations in today's episode it was clear that Boston and Nick were not on the same page about what being faens meant. Boston was committed to Nick as his faen and to him that meant Nick is the only one he loves, the only one he goes on dates with, the only one he spends quality time with. It did not mean no sexual contact with others, to him. For Nick, being faens does mean they would only kiss and have sex with each other. They needed to get clear on that, and I really loved that conversation in part 2 where they discussed it. Previous to this episode, it wasn't clear to me that sexual fidelity was a requirement for Nick; in fact, he told Boston he didn't need him to change, and the end of the last episode implied that what he really needed was to know Boston cared about him and viewed him as special. We left things ambigous wrt to his relationship with Dan and whether he even wanted to be faens with Boston. And now this week we suddenly had them dating and Dan disappeared into the ether (a weird choice given they intentionally did not resolve these things last episode).

Now all that said, it's totally valid for Nick to decide that he needs sexual exclusivity. He might have thought he could roll with it if Boston stayed the same in this regard and then realized he really couldn't when confronted with the reality of it. That's all fine and fair. But I don't think it's impossible that Nick could have been okay with Boston continuing to hook up with others within some negotiated parameters. They could have found a way to make this work, especially because they both know it's only temporary. The show just wasn’t interested in exploring that.

I don’t feel I know Boston’s motivations for anything, and if he was just supposed to be a “natural villain”, why would they make him so upset by his loneliness?

This is an interesting point because up until the end of this finale, I would argue we actually did have a really strong sense of who Boston is, and so did he. He was always unapologetic about his preferences and honest about what he was willing to give. He is very perceptive and knows how to use that power for evil. He is motivated by what he wants and not much else. He doesn't see sex as such a big deal and is often taken aback when others do and it causes them to get what he perceives as unreasonably mad at him. He thinks people should be wiling to own up to their shit and not blame him for observing it. He usually thinks as long as everything turned out okay, whether or not the way he got there was "mean" shouldn't really matter. He is willing to apologize for specific actions when he knows he was being an ass, but he has never apologized for who he is or what he wants.

And that's why it was really hard to see him reduced to groveling to this group of "friends" who don't care about him and begging Nick not to leave him at the end of this episode. It didn't feel like the Boston we have known up until now, and it didn't ring true.

In fact, the only characters that truly got the time necessary to tell their story were the two main couples, and they just mentioned Boston in the process to close out his plot.

I do agree with this; Nick and Boston did not get enough time in the final stretch and thus there were some noticeable shortcuts in the writing for their arc. That said, even though they got a lot more screen time I don't think TopMew and SandRay turned out much better for it. Things just felt off all around in this final stretch.

So instead, we look at it as the show saying “be a slut, and you’ll end up alone” when really I think it’s saying “don’t like monogamy? Don’t be in a monogamous relationship and don’t be an asshole to your friends (when we don’t have time or energy to give you backstory and depth)”

Nah, for me the only character that doesn't want monogamy ending up rejected and alone while all the people who chose monogamy get very unearned happy endings is not at all subtle. If they wanted to show that love is not conditional on monogamy, they could have let Boston and Nick end on a better note, even if they didn't stay together. This finale felt like an advertisement for monogamous love as a cure to all your problems. And I have no idea if that was the actual intent and neither does anyone but the creators themselves. But intent is not impact and the implications of the way they wrote this are undeniable.

None of the people should have been friends by the end of it tbh, but the performance were incredible and the characters who did have backstory were captivating

Agree with you there! The reason some of us are so disappointed in the ending is because we liked the show so much and have been giving it the benefit of the doubt in how it was presenting its themes. It's a bummer to end this three month journey on a sour note.

[northwest-cryptid]

i am going to tell you the hopkins lore i pulled out of my ass. this isnt canon

i think hopkins isnt. really all that awful to be honest. objectively hes just. average for the city. hes seen as awful because hes an obstacle to the player, but like. his crime is stealing enkephalin and fucking off, while fucking over his coworker he didnt really like

i see ppl who say he doesnt care about aya which is probably intended by projmoon but i see it less as that and more he doesnt really...want to express emotions in front of the limbus crew? he openly mocks yuri and the sinners dying and does not hesitate to stab them in the back right after aya dies

and he doesnt mock aya when she dies. actually he barely says anything at all that isnt about dante not being able to speak. hes completely silent otherwise. which could be because of yuri freaking out but he usually pokes at yuri?

so to me i think he did care, he just didnt want to show weakness. is he an ass? yeah, but hes not uniquely an ass. hes just normal for the city, and honestly he makes a good point about the sinners going in entirely unprepared for anything lol

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the opening sentence to this all because telling me straight up "this is a product of my own thoughts" helps a ton!

Also yea go off fam, I don't mind this sort of thing when I know what I'm dealing with. It's the mix of fandomization with actual facts of the canon narrative sprinkled in just enough to be confusing that bugs me.

Also I don't recognize the name, but I love the point of like "sure this person is an asshole but there's nothing about him that is actually worse than anyone else in the city."

I think that's something a lot of people forget about the Proj Moon universe. We sorta view it like it's our world but just different, if we lived in the city we'd all do what we needed to in order to survive.

I'm not a violent person, I have no reason to kill or hurt anyone and considering the world we live in I likely, hopefully; never will. However if I lived in the city I'd absolutely carry weapons regularly and I'd live by the core rules of "kill them before they can kill you" and "never leave yourself vulnerable" like hell Roland was arguably a saint compared to most since a lot of what he did, he did for the reasons of living a better life with his wife and child where they'd be safe and we all know how that turned out for him so like...

The city is not "Earth with our current society but a little different and quirky" it's a society where people do shitty things on the regular just to get by, to survive at the bare minimum.

If we judge individuals of that universe using their in world circumstances it's actually interesting how people who in our world would be shitty horrible awful no good people are basically your run of the mill asshole no different from that Karen at starbucks who yells at the barista, is that a horrible asshole thing to do? Absolutely, but it doesn't mean I think said Karen deserves like, death or something; she's just a dick but that's not like uniquely dickish.

By Proj Moon standards this dude sounds like a petty thief and a dick at worst, not like some super villain who's experimenting on children or murdering people for the sake of their own enjoyment and empowerment. Sure it sounds like he's a manipulative asshole but he's not AYIN or like, any of the Ensemble who arguably were bigger dicks for their actions (outside of victims like Philip who turned to the Ensemble for arguably sad reasons and yes should still be held accountable for their shitty behavior but weren't as bad as say the lady who wanted to kill people because only the strong deserve to live or some shit.)

[empyrangel]

We’ve seen some posts going around recently talking about how alterhumans who think humanity is evil or immoral or shouldn’t exist or should be wiped out are exhibiting unacceptable behavior. And I agree. Misanthropes and nihilists can suck my dick. Making generalizations about anything that expansive and diverse is unacceptable. But the problem is all the posts also lump “alterhumans who think they’re superior to or higher than humanity” under the umbrella of everything I just stated, and it really rubs me the wrong way.

The posts certainly don’t explicitly mention deity or divine alterhumans, but the undertones are there, and I’ve heard this kind of rhetoric enough times to pick up on it. I don’t think I’m intellectually superior to humanity as a whole. I’m definitely not morally superior to them. But being a deity I simply am a higher life form, that’s kind of how it works. I hold no distain for humanity. I understand it’s complexity. I judge everyone as individuals not as a whole. I love observing and interacting with humanity. I love having close relationships with some humans. I definitely don’t love having to live like one, but that’s only because it’s not who I am, not because I have anything against humans.

Yes, there are some divine alterhumans who use their divinity as a lame excuse to harbor hatred for humanity, but that’s not all of us. Claiming that being a higher life form inherently puts you on the same level as being a misanthrope or nihilist is both untrue and offensive. Being higher than humanity is just part of one’s existence, it is not inherently a moral stance.

This kind of thing happens all the time. I know how many in the alterhuman community see divine alterhumans. I have been called selfish, egotistical, self-absorbed, vain and much much worse for being divinekin. Yes, some of that was from outside the community, but most of it was from other alterhumans. It’s a bias that I’m constantly on edge about. So it’s hard not to take being compared to actual assholes as yet another knife in my back from the community I know doesn’t care for me.

Basically, fuck alterhumans who use their identities to shit on humanity, but leave us out of this.

[devileaterjaek]

Look I don’t believe your a rotten person as a whole but I think you’d benefit greatly from stop being vague about what this person is accusing you of/ say what your misdeeds where in depth make a explicit apology/statement then be done with it all if people trust/forgive you they do if they don’t they don’t but you gotta stop being vague on your end that’ll only make things worse either be clear about what’s happening or don’t even acknowledge it publicly it’ll only make things worse for you mentally/in public opinion

Yeah, I tried publicly apologizing on Twitch. I was as specific as possible, as honest as possible, as transparent as possible, even admitting things I probably shouldn't have. Believe it or not, it made the situation worse.

So I'd hate to be rude, but uh,

No.

Frankly, I've said to much already by even bringing it up in the first place. So I'm sorry but I'm not gonna air out all my dirty laundry just so ya'll can gawk at it. Frankly it's none of your business and it's an extremely personal matter, and I have the right to divulge as much or as little information as I see fit.

If that makes me look guilty in your eyes, good for you. You've judged me without knowing my side of the story, you get a gold star.

Again, I'm sorry, I really am, I normally don't take this kind of tone with my Tumblr followers because usually you guys are chill, but this touched a nerve, okay? And believe it or not, this is me holding back, because I don't wanna be an asshole. But this is an EXTREMELY personal subject that frankly should've been handled in DMs.

The only reason I brought it up in the first place is to explain some of the weird behavior around this blog lately, to get ahead of anything you might hear about me for whatever reason, PLEAD with you not to make a snap-judgement call when you do not have all the facts, and lastly, admittedly, to vent just a teensy weensy bit, and spend some time in a community that won't crucify me based on shitty fucking rumors.

So uh, yeah, no. Drop it.

[hopeswriting]

i don't know what *fanon reborn* looks like and at this point i'm too afraid to ask

hi nonny, thank you for the ask!

LMAO yeah that's valid actually. and for the quick disclaimer my understanding of fanon!reborn might not be accurate anymore because i know him from way back when i was also reading a lot of khr fics (my brain keeps telling me 2014, but i think it's more like 2016/2018), but basically fanon!reborn is... an asshole for no good reasons and also all the time.

and this is when you tell me “but hope, you just said canon!reborn is an asshole too!”, and you’d be right to because yes i did and yes he is! but where fanon!reborn is an asshole just for the sake of being cruel or because he actually wants to hurt the people he’s being an asshole to, canon!reborn is just one big troll who loves chaos and loves to mess with people whenever he can. but for the sake of fun and being funny. and because the intentions aren’t the same they come off differently in each case, and in the case of fanon!reborn he just comes off as a bully. so even when i could tell the moments where i was supposed to laugh, i was always just left being like “that was just unnecessary and uncalled for yet again. why does anyone even put up with him??” instead.

(this is also when you could tell me “but hope, don’t you think canon!reborn is a bully too? like with tsuna or skull? that’s just writing reborn in character!”. and i’m not gonna argue with you on this one because i think this is typically a case where it depends on your personal sensibilities and where you draw the line, and, well. reading reborn as a bully is of course very easy and understandable, and it’d be hard to argue it’s not canon, but the way i’d personally put it instead is that yes, he very often crosses the line/boundaries of other people, but unknowingly.

for me it comes back to his intentions again, and the way i see it reborn only always mean to tease and not bully. and yes, even when he goes the violent way about it, even if of course it doesn’t make it right. and he probably doesn’t even realize he can and does come off as a bully to other people, because he just assumes that where he thinks their lines are drawn is, in fact, where they’re drawn for real. and confident he’s right about it because how often is he wrong, right? it lets him dismiss complaints about his attitude (tsuna), and even people telling him very explicitly times and times again “hey, can you please stop treating me like that? i really dislike it” (skull) without a second thought.

also re: him being violent and not meaning anything out of it or thinking it’s a big deal. and again, it doesn’t make it right and it is a big deal for the people he’s violent with, but i think it’d be doing a disservice to his character to judge him on that without keeping in mind why he thinks that way. and the why is simply because reborn is mafia to his core and may or may not have known anything else his whole life. and violence is just one of the languages that comes the most naturally to him to interact with the world and people, if not the first one altogether. but that’s actually not even relevant here because to him he’s probably not being violent at all. all those punches and kicks and pinches etc? to him it’s probably just his equivalent of a tap on your hand. a flick on your forehead. him pinching your cheek, etc, etc, you get it.

and i can’t quite imagine what he’d consider as proper and genuine violence would look like when he’s the world’s greatest hitman, but i certainly can believe reborn can do so much worse than anything we saw him do in canon. and that still being seen as acceptable for mafia-standards. i mean, remember what nono did to xanxus? and how that was him being merciful with him? and the way iemitsu knocked tsuna unconscious in one punch to teach him a lesson (< in the literal way, i don’t mean he just wanted to beat his son’s ass for the sake of it lol)? so not only reborn’s behavior is actually super mild (to him), it also literally doesn’t even make it as something he even calls violence to begin with (again, to him).

and okay that was a long digression lol, oops, but yeah, the way i see it reborn is a bully to the people he only means to tease because they just don’t have the same boundaries, but he never actually goes out of his way to be hurtful to them with his behavior in a way where it’d linger and would make them come to resent him. like, the intention is never to actually harm. because yes he can and is mean and doesn’t care to be nice/kind either, but i still genuinely believe he doesn’t have a mean streak in him all the same. i mean, just look at his interactions with lambo. if he doesn’t care about you then that’s that, he’ll just move on with his life and ignore your very existence, and will deal with you only when you actively remind him of your existence again. and even then while still mostly ignoring you lol. and personally i think that makes him more complex and compelling as a character than him just being an asshole with people because he knows he can get away with it as one of the strongest people in the world.)

and that’s of course totally fine because to each their interpretation of the characters, right? but what really rubbed me the wrong way and broke my suspension of disbelief is that the attitude described above (the fanon one) is always glossed right over. and it’s because they actually didn’t mean for him to come out that way, were actually going for some fun banter/teasing and reborn being his canonical troll self, and so he was never called out by either the narrative or the other characters for his attitude. except he didn’t come out like that, not to me anyway, and i just couldn’t keep buying that reborn cared about them or that they cared about him in return.

and i think i can actually guess why fanon!reborn missed the mark with me so often. he just fell prey too to that-idk, trend? where the fans latch on a few selected core traits of the personality of a character, and reduce them to them and them only. which was bound to miss the mark with reborn when canon!reborn is all about balance between all the different sides of his personality. it’s like, he’s literally the biggest threat in the room at pretty much all times except for when his fellow arco are around (and even then because he’s canonically the strongest arco), but he’s also a very playful character who likes to mess around and doesn’t take himself seriously, but he still doesn’t make the mistake of ever letting other people forget he is the biggest threat in the room, but also doesn’t make the mistake of letting it get to his head, and that’s, imo, the framework within which he expresses his personality accordingly.

but okay, let’s just pick and choose the traits of his personality we like best, that too is fine, whatever you want to do, right? and at least when it comes to reborn his fanon version isn’t an entirely different character like *coughs* luce *coughs* some others we shall not name lol. but it’s just my luck that the way they wrote those selected personality traits the most often, and the way they interacted with each other’s really just irked me to the point i couldn’t keep reading those fics. and that’s why fanon!reborn personally doesn’t do it for me.

(and in case you’re wondering about what i think those personality traits are, i don’t want to go in details with them because i’ve already said plenty here that might tick people off lol, but the way i see it it goes something like this:

(canon) reborn likes chaos and fun and to mess with people, and is all around a very playful character. he's rough in the way he expresses that but never has the intention to hurt even if it does end up hurting the people around him because he mistakes where their boundaries are -> (fanon) his playfulness doesn’t survive the trip to fanon (lol) because they get his intentions and inner working/reasoning behind it wrong, so he just comes off as an asshole who likes to be an asshole and hurt the people around him just because he can.

(canon) reborn is the world’s greatest hitman and the strongest arco and is among the best in many other fields too and knows it -> (fanon) reborn is better than everyone at everything and is full of himself and barely has to lift a finger to make other people do what he wants.

(and my issue here is that 1) reborn knows exactly what he’s worth and is very confident in his own skills, yes, but that’s exactly why he doesn’t feel the need to flaunt and reassert how better he is than everyone else all the time, and 2) reborn being among the best of the best himself, it means most of the people he’s surrounded with are also among the best of the best in their own right, the arco first and foremost, and like. they’re prideful in their own right too and would not just let reborn boss them around. they wouldn’t hesitate or be afraid of standing up to him or challenging him either, even if yes, in the case of a full-blown confrontation, reborn is the one most likely to have his way.)

(canon) reborn isn’t one for big show of emotions or being open about or straightforwards with his feelings, but he still expresses himself and is able to get his feelings across in his own way -> (fanon) reborn is too cool to show he cares, but he’s so perfect at it he never shows that he does, in fact, care, and you’re left wondering if he really cares and why anyone would care back enough to put up with him.)

[lavender-long-stories]

Part 1 - What He Left Behind

Spoilers for What He Left Behind

Let's start with the opening sentence, because I swear to god, when I read it I laughed so loud. I knew something dramatic was on the way. When Sasuke is absolutely livid about Naruto's behaviour? Chief's kiss. The "like some whore you took in for the sex"? Phenomenal.

Fun fact this story was originally called 'Asshole' in my files because of the opening line.

Coming back at the beginning of the story after reading the ending makes me so fucking angry. [...] [Naruto's] reasoning is nonexistent.

I was actually under the impression people would feel bad for him, but I think I underestimated how much pure rage I instilled in everyone about him.

You said you didn't want bashing in the comments 

I had to add this because it was the only comment I was getting. >.> I get that Naruto was pissing everyone off, that was kind of the point but there was cute shit going on focus on that.

"[Sasuke] wasn’t sure he wanted to see it when it split. But he would. He had made this decision." This is not the bare minimum at all [...][Sasuke] is already being a better husband and father

I love how sometimes I just need to make Sasuke supportive and he's considered the top-tier man.

The "cogito, ergo sum" in Naruto's perspective is literaly "no thoughts, head empty" bc?

Can he blame the tumor?

there is a void Naruto-shaped between them that will be filled with respect and love, this is nice

I love this description of their relationship hahaha

"How did he still eat only take-out and quick-cooked rice?" She isn't judging him but she is judging him so hard

Wheels coded.

I love that one of the good things Sasuke thinks about Hinata is that she is sane, his bar clearly isn't very high, but who knows, right?

When you're used to extremes, basics will impress you XD

It makes me sad that Hinata is grateful for being treated with respect by Sasuke, because they don't even know each other really well, he is just being a well-mannered human being and respecting her space. This is the bare minimum.

People often don't give you the bare minium, so when you get it, it feels like the world.

Yeah... the signs of abuse. This shit broke me. Not gonna lie and tell you I didn't laugh when Sasuke went for a hug, but boooy if this shit wasn't heavy.

I want to make a point that not all abuse is physical, and sometimes it's not even intentional. (That doesn't dissolve fault. If you did something to someone, it is your fault whether or not you mean ti.)

“Once you start making excuses, it turns from bad behavior to abuse.” Yes.

I like that Sasuke said this because it's hard to think that your friends could be capable of being not great people, just because they are fine people to you.

Hinata's tantrum in the car is the best piece of literature ever, I laughed so hard because girlie has been through some deep shit, she deserves to go apeshit sometimes, okay? She even cursed!

I have a head cannon that Hinata just needs to scream out of her little quiet body every once in a while so there isn't a Hyuga massacre.

I wish my dad loved me like that LOL

Babes, are you okay?

"It’s just like a roommate, and the roommate gets a dog." I compared my friend's kid to a dog once and she said it was actually worse than having a dog, the father wasn't very happy with us but he didn't disagree lol. Point is, at least he wants the kid.

Sasuke is a different level of unbothered in this story.

I think this story awakened a monster in me, the monster that loves the trope of roommates acting like they're married until they fall in love.

🤝 I need to make like 30 of those because I love not quite a couple but completely living as a unit moments.

I totally forgot about the bath situation.

I like writing mildly dramatic situations handled very humanely. People fall in the shower all the time. I love having people have to actually deal with situations. I think it shows more of their character than anything.

“Why aren’t you at work?” “I don’t want to come back and find a pregnant woman bleeding out on the floor.” This is my kind of humor. I fucking love him.

Sasuke's dry humor in this gets to me.

Oh yeah, the cringe baby clothes. Why does this shit even exist? Why do people even buy that kind of thing?

Not me having opinions and making characters talk about how much I hate cringe baby clothes. >.>

What He Left Behind

Pairing: Sasuke x Hinata Rating: T

Description: When Sasuke is confronted with an abandoned pregnant Hinata, he does the only thing he can think to do, he takes her in. Strangers to friends. Friends to lovers.

Tags: Pregnancy  |  Romance  |  Domestic Fluff  |  Happy Ending  |  Fluff and Angst  |  Hurt/Comfort

[wvrlock]

How would fallahan try to charm/change their behavior in front of each "canon" companion? In what ways would they try to appeal to each? Are they a good judge of character in the ways they try to appeal to people? How successful are they, usually?

I always joke that he has better deception than insight so he can lie to himself, but the fact is that he also has very high insight, numerically and factually. He doesn't include his own feats in his songs all that much (for his own safety, but he'd gladly brag about them) but he is so extraordinarily good at reading people that he was the one to orchestrate Zariel's redemption, he gave the paladin the words he had to say to move her. He also persuaded Tiamat's champions to help them out, and Bel to aid them in their search for Zariel's sword.

He asks himself "what are they feeling?", "what do I have that they need?", "what is their weakness?", and changes his words and behavior depending on the answers. He can improvise, but ideally he would gather the information he needs before an encounter, rather than during.

It usually works if he wants it to work, and even if he encounters someone who employs similar techniques he likes playing the "I know that you know" card, confidently displaying false friendliness and openness. And he doesn't mind downplaying himself to flatter the other party, which is precisely why he excelled at dealing with devils. At worst, he doesn't come off as trying to deceive, just trying to please.

"If he wants it to work" essentially means that he doesn't bother trying if he doesn't have something to gain, he'll just show his usual arrogant, playful personality that some people find fun and others irritating.

(Companions under the cut because boy this got LONG)

He likes Astarion, and honestly he wouldn't need to change a thing to be liked back. They share a sense of humor, many of their tastes and their signature sassy personalities. He would be 100% genuine to him.

She doesn't care much for Shadowheart, or so he says. There's this running gag about how Fallahan always ends up surrounded by very religious people being an agnostic himself, and he would be in his most brutally honest behavior about her religious trauma, but he doesn't really need anything from her.

Same goes for Gale... Fallahan is always intrigued by things he doesn't know and the arcane, and would love to have someone ramble about it for hours, but something in his personality kinda irks him. He's a romantic nerd, but like... the wrong kind of romantic, and the wrong kind of nerd. He'll bite his tongue on his opinions about the whole Mystra situation because he KNOWS he'd come off as the asshole he deep down still is.

Now, Wyll. Wyll IS the right kind of romantic nerd. Fallahan would be soooo nice and charming. He likes heroes, he likes stories, he likes drama, he could listen to him talk forever. He would share opinions on literature they both enjoy, and write about him, and be playful and flirty. I think he would totally try to get into his bed (Fal does have a habit of collecting lovers as 'trophies') while masterfully avoiding every one of Wyll's romantic advances, if they happen. He's interested in flings, not romance (that's what he says).

Lae'zel is. Uh. She's too straightforward to fall or even care about his charms. Not only he wouldn't try but he would keep a very careful distance.

Same goes for Minthara, who's even worse because she's used to sycophantic diplomats, she would be unimpressed and unamused. Not to mention that he's a very high elvish elf, and the kind of arrogant male she would despise. Nope. Not happening.

Halsin is... nice, but the most they'll have in common is that in some verses Fal's partner (@stagsworn) and he would be friends. But that's the extent of it. He doesn't need any tree-hugging dilf to psychoanalyze him, thank you very much.

Jaehira is just. No.

Minsc is the wrong kind of brute. His opinion on big dumb men is that they're either fuckable, or not worth his time. He'd be sassy to him, but also very careful not to anger him, which means holding his tongue most of the time.

Karlach is fine. Kind of a slow-burn thing because he'd take longer to understand where she's coming from, but he'd be genuine... genuinely nice. Not because he doesn't want to get on her bad side, but because he does find her quite entertaining.

[meme-streets]

ok here's my more complete take on magnum force: it came close to being a really fascinating commentary on the original dirty harry, both film and character. it really did come close, it had the potential. but it just didn't make it.

the thing that ruins it the most for me is the ending. briggs berates harry over and over–rightfully so–for his loose cannon (read: illegal and wildly unethical) behavior, and says he's proud of never having had to draw his gun in the field. and then he's the vigilante ringleader. like what the hell? and in addition to being just kind of a stupid twist, the big problem with this is that it then ends up suggesting that harry's brand of vigilantism is the "right" kind and therefore morally correct–not to mention his weird bullshit about "sticking with the system" and "upholding the law" when they argue in the car. you know, the things he infamously doesn't do, as the entire premise of his character. briggs calls harry out for deciding he's "judge, jury, and executioner," then does the EXACT same thing, and somehow we're supposed to believe it's only bad when briggs does it. so the messaging ends up being really confused–something about how law enforcement shouldn't be above the law and how nobody is qualified to take justice solely into their own hands...unless they're harry callahan. for some damn reason.

i liked that the four rookies who are involved with the death squad all kinda fanboy over harry at the beginning, and how he's all flattered about it, and they have this nice ("nice") friendly moment comparing shooting skill and harry sees his new hope in them (and fails to be concerned about why these rookies already shoot so well). i think they should've leaned way harder into the horror of that. take briggs masterminding out, obviously, and have these four guys have been directly inspired by harry, and so that he (à la rupert from rope) has to contend with the fact that his behavior was not only wrong but had larger implications and set a precedent he didn't mean to set. would've made his whole (deeply hypocritical) spiel about how vigilantism always spirals out of control a lot more impactful.

they also made harry less of a violent asshole in this, presumably trying to make him more likable, but the fact he's almost as bad as what he's chasing was such a key aspect of his character and, again, would've really driven home the above point about comparing him to the rookie vigilantes. i wanna see him be an asshole, and then i want him to realize he's directly inspired more people to do what he does but to an even more extreme degree, and i want to see him completely freak out trying to grapple with it. (he was also much more of a gentleman romantically speaking, which...i dunno, i'm certainly not trying to root for misogyny here but it's noticeably out of character for the guy who in the previous film fucked up a stakeout to play peeping tom). i wish they hadn't softened him; he's less impactful that way.

i can't say exactly yet how i think it could be improved, but my rough thoughts are: he meets the rookies in the shooting range like in the movie, they have close to the same conversation, but they make it clear that they see him specifically as a role model and harry is very obviously flattered by this. the overall plot is roughly similar but harry roughs up some suspects trying to find information about who's doing this and then gets called out for it. give his partner smith more to do in the movie, overall, and have them argue over harry's behavior. briggs is pissed at harry's behavior, because he's actually the voice of reason here like he seems to be for most of the movie. harry starts realizing it must be a cop doing it and then starts getting REAL uneasy. then slowly starts realizing who it must be and freaks out even worse because oh god, he caused this. it's just beyond the range of something he would do but not by much. then escalate the extent of the retribution to something even harry would find reprehensible. similar confrontation with the rookie death squad as in the film but they offer him a spot more explicitly; same "i think you've misjudged me" quote but it's clearer that he's kinda doubting himself as he says it. don't know how the hell you could redo the ending without briggs, but i figure it'd work alright as a showdown with davis specifically. don't kill off early smith for no reason. keep the bomb stuff though because that was cool. definitely keep the boat chase. don't end on such a self-satisfied note but with a similar gloomy tone to the original dirty harry. just really lean into the horror of having set a precedent. nail callahan to the fucking wall.

[bylightofdawn]

Ooooof I am very sleep deprived and have reached that mania level where I know I'm just going to crash at a moment's notice. My fuckhead cat woke me up at 4am demanding food. He starts by plopping his 16 pound heavy ass on my chest with his butt in my face to start. And that's just the beginning of his psychological torture. Then he'll move onto hopping onto my nightstand and knocking stuff off till I shout at him to get off. And he'll move to my dresser across the room and knock stuff off.

Lately, he's figured out he can jump onto the bookcase in the living room which has the tv on it. A tv which is on a stand which is kinda precariously held on to said tv stand and is liable to just fall off if you hit it too hard. And last night's latest trick was him using that to try and pull his cat carrier which is sitting on top of a pile of junk in a corner I never touch because it's loud and noisy. And will prolly fall down on said tv, on the cat and just ruin my fucking night.

This of course is in between him loudly running back and forth from the living room to my bedroom like his tail is on fire. He's an asshole. He knows I will eventually cave to his psychological torture and will feet him so I can just go back to sleep. I fed him some kibble and he KEPT AT IT. This greedy motherfucker wanted MORE FOOD. I am legitimately getting scammed by my own cat like he's a 1920's gangster and I'm some poor schmuck . I'm not I am simply sleep-deprived and this is the shit my tired brain comes up with. It amuses me to picture my cat in a three-piece suit like he's Don Felix D. Cat or some shit.

So I feed him more and he IMMEDIATELY goes to sleep. Do ya'll know the amount of self-control it took for me to NOT constantly poke at him and wake his ass up at random times today? Like, I kinda lowkey want payback even though this is a CAT who doesn't understand complex concepts like revenge and fucking war crimes or yanno the Genova Convention.

But again, sleep-deprived brain. Somehow I survived work, all things considered, it was a slow night for the most part.

I did manage to write some stuff at lunch which was very funny TO ME at the time but yanno...again sleep deprived El maybe isn't the best judge of anything right now. I am definitely feeling floaty right now. Going to try and make it to midnight and might make it an early night so Genji can continue to torture me at 4 am tomorrow.

I know I am only making things worse by catering to his terroristic behavior. But I need to get what sleep my insomniac ass can get to begin with.

I'm seriously debating if a timed feeder is a thing I want to invest in. The problem with that is he's a fat-ass who needs to lose weight. I was free-feeding him for too long and didn't really know I shouldn't be doing that. So he's on a hills science diet weight loss kibble. But aI also fedt him two cans of wet food a day. So realistically he's only supposed to be getting like 100kal of kibble a day which is like maaaaaaaaaaybe 1/3 a cup. I tend to feed him little bits throughout the day rather than like one or two big meals. So he'll get like maybe a tablespoon or so every 4-5 hours depending on how shit is going. I'm not super strong on measuring out and it's working. He's dropped from almost 20 to 16.4 as of last week at the vet in about 7-9 months-ish? It's a process but we are making progress.

I might research and see how little the portions the auto-feeder could do. And watch me spend 100 bucks on it and he get too terrified of it because it makes noise and not even use it.

I don't know, I am so fucking exhausted and loopy right now.

EDIT: Huh looks like auto feeders aren't as crazy expensive as I was assuming. This one on amazon is 40 bucks, can do up to 9 feedings and 10 grams or more. And has an app too. Shit it's 40 bucks, my sanity is worth that much.

We also should not trust sleep-deprived El with a credit card and a Amazon account but WHELP. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY DADDY BEZOS.

[varicrux]

“i didn’t cause the collateral! the hell d’they want me apologisin’ for, huh?” stupid media and their assumptions. “why th’hell can’t i just tell ‘em it was the stupid villain who had no idea how t’give a shit about a building collapsin’ on us? i had to crawl my ass out of that fuckin’ mess, sunbae. does it look like i’d do that on purpose?” he’s convinced the media just wants to see him plummet in approval ratings and drop out of the top ten.

@ofdetonation. | katsuki b. | prompted.

          this is something she had already anticipated would transpire. katsuki is a wild card in the industry when it comes to his ratings , primarily because of his natural aggression & less than ideal method of handling the general public. sunbae doesn't quite understand why people continue to judge him so harshly , after recognizing the feats that he's achieved all those years ago during the GREAT WAR ( including the incredible accomplishments he continues to break ground on even now ) , & on top of that , the fact that katsuki hasn't endured much of a change personality wise as time has passed. perhaps that was the issue , but . . . it's not as though he's become any worse.

          katsuki is a man that isn't easily readable. he takes charge , performs excellent work , & at the end of the day , is attempting to do the same as the other professional heroes of his time: maintain the era of peace that has been ushered upon the nation by his generation. if he happens to pave the way to this future using some . . . harsher , unorthodox methods , as long as the end result of prosperity is obtained & the least amount of damage comes with it , shouldn't that be all that matters? no , unfortunately , & sunbae has since been privy to society's idealistic expectations about the appropriate behavior of the heroes that walk their streets & protect their tomorrows. these people are not just saviors ⎯⎯ they're HUMANS too.

          ' ⎯⎯ i get it katsuki , i do. i think i'd know you well enough by now to back the fact that you wouldn't just destroy a building to get to a villain. but there's the catch , eh? I KNOW YOU. these citizens don't , not the real you , they only saw a pro who just blasted out of the debris of the building that injured a handful of people. ' she can clearly recall what happened from the cameras televising the chase from a helicopter above the scene. the angles on screen & the commentary . . . none of it sat right with sunbae , but that’s fine , because that wasn’t the first instance of subtle sabotage she’s dealt with when it comes to who she represents. 

          ' listen. don't think of apologizing as like , you've done something wrong. you're not sorry for CAUSING the building to collapse ; you're sorry BECAUSE the building collapsed & innocent civilians were injured. you're sorry because that asshole villain put their lives at stake just to get away from you. it's not on you , katsuki. what is on your shoulders , is the responsibility to make those people feel like they can be safe again. i have the conference scheduled tomorrow at 8am. get some sleep , wake up early , go for a run & get your head in the game. '

[darkdansdarkestdays]

The problem with thinking that "If it's meant to happen, it will happen" or "nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world, by mistake," (Which used to be my least favorite portion of The Big,Overrated, Blue Book until I realized that the author was not necessarily saying what everyone assumed he was...it would have been wise for me to pay attention to the surrounding text prior to judging, but whatever...now, I've gone back to despising We Agnostics most) Anyway, sorry for the unnecessary digressions, but when people honestly believe the above assumptions, it feeds a fatalistic worldview that is actually detrimental to any sort of growth (and, don't bother pointing out that I am, perhaps, the least qualified person on earth to pontificate about spiritual maturity and growth of any type, cuz I'm well aware....I at least have found different, probably equally absurd, hang ups) All sorts of things happen that are not only independent of God's will, but contrary to it. It's one of the realities of living on earth amongst billions of fundamentally flawed humans,each possessing free will. When people start believing that whatever outcome is realized is, BY ITSELF, God's specific will, it absolves them of the need to fully recognize the repercussions of their actions (or, lack theirof) It feeds all sorts of counterproductive behavior. Speaking as a person who has ruined all kinds of shit, I can honestly say that, in nearly every single instance, I did not have to do so. However Big of an asshole I am today, let me assure you that I was once MUCH worse. I don't know if my improvement (and, again, not to in any way suggest that today's product is anything that warrants boasting, but it's hilarious to me when I hear people say things like "wow, you have really gone downhill," or "you'll be back to where you were, I know it. Have faith" when, during the time they are referencing, I was a truly awful human being and was not the slightest bit happy. Their beliefs stem from the lone observation that I had much more money back then) People are ridiculous...I forgot where I was going with this, but it's not a puppet show, people! Get real (not really directed at the person to whom most of my postings are....just the aforementioned philosophy, in general)

[nekropsii]

I think you misunderstood why I dislike Tavros and how he's seen, which I will preface you are absolutely right to misunderstand, upon rereading I didn't actually make my point, which is 100% on me. And you are definitely allowed to disagree with me however I do want to make sure that my point isn't misread.

My dislike of Tavros isn't from a place of being annoyed at him or thinking that he's not a victim, he absolutely is. It's that his victimhood is used by fans and by him as an excuse for his behavior which is often really damaging and kinda shitty.

This is the troll that found out that he seriously hurt Jade and basically responded with "I had good intentions and that absolves me of fault and anger, and I'm hurt that you're still upset at me! But it's okay I forgive you, and I forgive myself for hurting you" which is such a cruel response!

In every instance he "gains confidence" he almost immediately starts uncomfortably flirting with whoever has shown him any kindness. You see it with him flirting with Jade after the aforementioned interaction as soon as she showed any sense that she might not treat him like trolls treat her, or flirting with Kanaya (who is a lesbian) when she helps him in Pesterquest.

After dying and the Tavrissprite debaucle he again starts acting like an absolute tool, getting in everyone's face and acting like a spoiled child.

And the worst part is on the rare occasion that someone calls out his behavior he starts to claim victimhood and claims that that absolves him of his actions, like because he was hurt he now has a license to act however he wants and people have to give him pity.

Again you're allowed to disagree, and he is absolutely a victim, but that doesn't give him a license to act how he does

I’m glad you’re taking the blame on the fact that you did not, in fact, make any point in your original ask outside of insult. I’m also glad that you’re open to disagreement, because I’m gonna take you up on that. So, yeah, if you don’t mind, I’ve got a few counterpoints for this:

This level of shitty behavior is typical for… Just about every single Homestuck character. Sure, you can dislike Tavros for his specific brand of shitty behavior, but he’s absolutely not special, nor is he an isolated case in this regard. He’s not even the only character to behave in this exact manner- I get that he’s the focal point here, but I still need to point that out. He isn’t special. Hell, some fan favorites are known for doing worse things than this.

Pesterquest is not canon, and therefore is not a valid example of his character within canon. Yes, it is official content, but it is quite literally not canon. These two labels can coexist.

Tavros is a socially inept 13 year old boy. He’s 13 years old. 13. He is a middle schooler. He is an awkward 13 year old boy who has been put through the fucking wringer, the fact that he’s doing shitty things makes complete and utter sense. Genuinely, he could be so much worse. Yes, the things he did were shitty, but he’s a kid. They do that. Kids are shitty sometimes. They don’t fuckin’ know any better, dude. I guarantee you that you were kind of a bastard when you were 13.

When you are abused, you do not become a good person. Abuse almost never makes someone a good person, especially not immediately. It makes you an asshole. That’s why Vriska is like that. That’s also why Tavros is like that. In fact, Tavros is like that… Probably largely because of Vriska. Tavros kinda just… Acts like your average 13 year old abuse victim.

Our collective understanding of Tavros as a person- as well as Equius and Eridan, since we’re discussing problem children now- is based on a very troubled literal child with zero sense of self worth. We can’t really judge his morality when his sense of morality/reasonability genuinely is not fully formed yet, and is honestly being actively impeded upon. This is just speculation, but I’m betting that if he’d been given the room to actually grow and mature as a person- you know, past the age of 13- he wouldn’t be nearly as bad.

I’m willing to bet his, yes, highly awkward flirtations were just what he thought you were supposed to do when you were confident. Does that make it ok? No. It’s still weird! I’m not enacting apologetics for that. But as I’ve stated previously… Socially inept 13 year old with no sense of self worth + there’s characters that are worse off than him. Again… 13 year olds are just… Like that, sometimes.

I understand that this could have just been poor wording on your own part, but in your original ask, you literally said that Vriska was “keeping Tavros in check”, so I’m not exactly willing to trust that you have an objective view on the actions of either of these characters. Say that you’re aware he’s a victim all you want, that line just personally raises a lot of red flags for me, and I don’t think you understand the implications of calling abuse someone being “kept in check”. Was Vriska really “keeping him in check” by purposefully physically disabling him, and then constantly ridiculing him for the disability she caused? Was she really in the right for that? Was that something he deserved?

I don’t know, dude. He’s a fictional character, yeah, but it feels kind of weird to be weighing a 13 year old boy’s morality on a scale like this. He hasn’t really done anything warranting much heavy insults, or a callout post, or anything- he’s just a kid who was kind of a social fuck-up. If you’re so heated about Tavros’s level of shitty, I kinda have to wonder if there’s any Homestuck characters you even can tolerate. They’re all kind of assholes. You know… Because they’re children.

[belovedharringrove]

*cracks knuckles*i have absolutely no plan for where i'm going with this so i am making this up as i go. also, i'm planning for this to be short and sweet(?) but it's probably gonna get away from me at some point so let's see how long this gets. i don't know if you've noticed but english is not my first language so this may have typos and grammatically incorrect sentences. i saw someone have an idea like this a while ago and i wanna credit them but i forgot who it was, so if you see this and it was you then uh. credit goes to you. thanks for the idea.

Steve thought nothing could surprise him anymore. After dealing with the Upside Down and monsters and having his heartbroken at a house party and secret Russian bases under the mall where he worked, he thought he had seen almost everything. But the sight of Maxine Mayfield standing on his front porch with a screaming toddler in her arms... confused him. And surprised him. The early morning sun made her red hair look like fire and her freckles stand out, but it also made the exhausted look on her face look a million times worse.

"What?" He said in a very smart manner, thank you very much and she rolled her eyes, pushing past him and making her way to his living room like she owned the place which was very typical Max behavior. "Come on in." He grumbled and scoffed, shutting the front door and following her further inside, trying to ignore the toddler's loud wails.

As Steve sat on the couch across from her, he eyes the screaming toddler in her arms warily. It had a head of bouncy blonde curls but its little face was scrunched up and bright red from the force of its screams. Max looked ready to throw it out the window judging by the exasperated look on her face. "I didn't know your mom had a kid with... him." He said, subtly trying to get some information but not being able to make himself say the name of Billy's father.

"She didn't." Max said and rolled her eyes again and really, she could try giving Steve a break. She shows up and starts banging on his door like the devil's chasing her at 5:37 on a Sunday morning with a mystery toddler in her arms and she expected Steve to just accept it? Instead of gracing her with a reply (that would've been a bit too rude for both their tastes), he simply gestured to the still screaming toddler in her arms as if to say 'well, explain that then'.

Max glances out the window at that, as if expecting someone to break it and run inside to snatch the toddler from her arms. "This is Billy." She says and Steve turns to look out the window as well, hoping to see a film crew for some prank show or something. Because that did not make sense.

"Billy the Second?" He asks hopefully, wanting to pretend that it's Billy's kid from some chick he knocked up back in California.

"Billy as in my brother." Max says and okay. Now that Steve's looking a little closer he can see the similarities between this screaming toddler and the cocky asshole that takes any chance he can get to visit him at work and tease him until Steve's ears are red and he's flushed crimson all the way down to his chest.

At Steve's blank stare, Max rolls her eyes (again? really?) and explains how Billy had an encounter with the Upside Down but managed to get away before any serious damage could be done to him. The people from the government found out (and honestly, when do they not?) and had grabbed Billy to interrogate him, make him sign the same papers Steve had to sign all those years ago and treat his wounds, except... some of the medicine they had given him seemed to react negatively with the Upside Down spore things Billy had inhaled and. Billy had been de-aged.

Billy Hargrove was a kid now.

Steve kept repeating that phrase in his mind over and over as he approached Max and the still screaming baby Billy, crouching down in front of them. "Holy shit." He breathed and Billy seemed to pause at that, taking in big gulps of air and turning his face away from Max's shoulder to see where the new sound had come from.

"Steeb!" Baby Billy exclaimed and Steve found himself with an armful of sobbing toddler. When Steve turned surprised eyes over to Max, she seemed to be just as shocked as he was. "He didn't recognize me at all. Kept saying I was a stranger." She explained and Steve. Okay, yeah. Steve had to exhale carefully through his nose at that, fixing his hold on the toddler- on Billy and standing up, now cradling him close to his chest and trying to not coo when Billy snuggled closer to him with a pitiful whimper.

"Right," He started, brushing some of Billy's messy curls away from his face and biting back a gasp when wide sky blue eyes opened to look straight at him. "And you came to see me why? Hopper had a kid. And Joyce has raised two kids." He said and she blinked up at him like the thought hadn't even occurred to her. At Steve's deadpan look, she opened her mouth in offense, probably ready to argue with him until he grew grey hairs, but one glance at a now quiet Billy made her pause and groan, slumping down on the couch like a marionette with all its strings cut off.

"Shut up." She huffed and Steve bit back the urge to tell her that he hadn't said anything, starting to gently run his hand up and down Billy's back instead. Billy seemed to like that, raising his head to give him a shy grin before snuggling close again, hiding his face in the crook of Steve's neck. Steve tried not to cry like a teenage girl watching a sad movie at the sight of Billy's chubby cheeks.

"Okay, okay." Steve sighed and sat next to her on his mother's ugly and very expensive couch, placing Billy on his lap and pretending he didn't see Billy pouting at that for the sake of his poor, poor heart. "I'll stay here with Billy and you go get Joyce and Hopper. Tell them it's a Code Red or something." And yeah, that sounded like a pretty solid plan. Except, after taking a look at her exhausted face, he sighed and stood up, gesturing for her to follow him. Billy seemed ecstatic at the fact that he was back in Steve's arms. "After you take a nap." He muttered and lead her over to one of the guest rooms upstairs. She argued with him at that, insisting that she had to watch Billy and that they had to find a way to turn him back to normal but eventually her exhaustion won out and she crawled into bed with her shoes still on, fast asleep before her head even hit the pillow.

Steve bit back a smile at that, stepping out of the room and leaving the door open a tiny bit. "Now, what to do with you?" He asked and looked down at Billy, finding the toddler already looking up at him with wide, awe-filled eyes. "...Wanna watch 'Grease'?" He asked and went back to the living room to put the movie on, Billy smiling happily in his arms.

_____

Max woke up slowly. Her first thought was 'Where am I?' but when she sat up and looked around, she remembered that she was in one of the guest rooms at Steve's house. Right, she had made her way here after Billy had been de-aged, not knowing what else to do.

A quick look out the window made her jump up from the bed and run downstairs, not having realized it was so dark outside.

She was worried. Steve was called 'the babysitter' in their party but he always looked after a bunch of preteens, not a toddler. She expected to find the house half destroyed, the kitchen on fire and both Billy and Steve dead in the bathroom or something. But to her great surprise, when she stopped to check the living room, she found Billy giggling and squealing in delight as he (very clumsily) ran from Steve, who was pretending to be a tickle monster, judging by the way his hands mimicked claws and he made exaggerated steps towards Billy.

"What?" She asked, very much like Steve had all those hours ago. Billy turned to look at her at the sound of her voice and Steve took the opportunity to sweep the toddler up into his arms and tickle him, managing to keep a solid grip on the kicking and squirming toddler.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked after a few moments, placing the giggling Billy on his hip and seeming to bite back a smile when he laid his head on his shoulder and clutched the front of his shirt in a tiny fist. Max nodded her head dumbly and went to sit on the couch again, still staring at Steve like he grew a second head.

"What did you guys do?" She asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. Steve shrugged and explained how they watched movies together, napped a little, ate and then played until she woke up. As he spoke, he never stopped running his fingers through Billy's hair, making the apparently exhausted toddler yawn and hide his face in the crook of Steve's neck once again.

Max nodded slowly at that, staring at the now sleeping Billy in shock because... she could count in one hand all the times she had seen Billy smile and laugh genuinely. "Right," She said instead of thinking too much about that. "Should I go get Joyce and Hopper now?" She asked, moving as if to stand up.

"Oh no, there's no need. I called Joyce and she said she would speak to Hopper. She called back later and said they were gonna pay a visit to the government people and come back with some answers." Steve said and bent down to try and lay Billy down on the couch. Key word: try. As soon as Billy felt he was being put down, he was wide awake and clinging to Steve like a lifeline. "No!" Came a tiny yet very angry voice. "No? But you have to sleep some more, bud." Steve said and the amusement on his face told Max that he apparently had dealt with this while she was asleep. "No, Steeb. Up." Came Billy's voice again and Steve simply sighed, fixing his hold on Billy and rolling his eyes when he noticed the toddler gripping the front of his shirt in a white-knuckled grip. Seems he wasn't being let go of anytime soon.

The sight of such a ridiculous interaction, so unlike what she would usually see from both of them, made Max burst into laughter, startling Billy who turned to look at her with wide, betrayed eyes. She ignored the deadpan look on Steve's face as she cackled in delight, wishing there was a way to keep this moment in her memories forever.

The sound of a car doors slamming shut outside made her calm down, still giggling a little as she wiped a tear from her eye. Glancing out the window, she could see Joyce and Hopper approaching the door to Steve's house along with a man in a white lab coat. "The answers are here. Guess you're going back to being big, buddy." Steve sighed and his tone made Max turn to look at him, surprised to see him look so disappointed at the sight of something that was supposed to make him ecstatic.

She watched as Billy whimpered and turned to hug Steve as if he knew what was gonna happen. She was shocked to see Steve hug him back tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of Billy's head. The sound of the doorbell ringing made Steve sigh and he handed Billy to her without a word and left to open the door for their guests, and to her even bigger surprise, the toddler was quiet and still in her arms, simply laying his head on her shoulder and closing his eyes.

Instead of thinking to much about the weird interaction between her brother and Steve, she simply stood up and went to see their visitors, ready for this confusing situation to be over.

She would miss how cute baby Billy was, though.

(Much later, when Billy Hargrove is back to the way he's supposed to be and Max is off visiting Jane after insisting she deserved it after having to hear him scream in her ear for hours, he sits with Steve on the front steps of the Harrington house and watches Ms. Byers' Ford Pinto drive away. "How come you didn't recognize Max but you recognized me?" Steve asks him Billy doesn't have the answer to that question so he simply shrugs. "Maybe my heart recognized you." He jokes and lights a cigarette, ignoring how Steve's eyes well up with tears at that and how his cheeks flush so prettily. They don't need an answer to that question right now, maybe not ever, so they sit on the steps and share a cigarette and enjoy the closeness between them.)