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#i left yoga class feeling like i was gonna throw up and cry bc it doesnt matter its still a human above all
takkami · 4 months
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it's all fun and games until i start to lose my mind over the world and laws and gov
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grapesodatozier · 4 years
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Dreamboat
summary: Richie’s his pining mess self, and it only gets worse when he has sex dreams about Eddie every night for a week. Eddie asks him why he’s been avoiding him all week, love confessions and smut ensues~
tags/warnings: pining-typical angst and guilt in the beginning, but it’s all resolved by the end! also, this is top!eddie/bottom!richie bc i haven’t written that dynamic in forever, gotta balance the scales lol
this didn’t need to be 7k words, but it is lmao enjoy
(also, if you wanna be taken off or added to my taglist, lmk! i have one for reddie fics and one for all of my fics, so please specify which one you’d like to be added to. thanks!)
read on ao3 or below!
notsfw below the cut!
Richie could not believe this was happening a-fucking-gain. This was the fourth time this week that he’d woken up hard after a dream about Eddie. He ran his hands over his face and groaned, his skin burning from his face down his chest. Guilt sank low in his stomach as he shut off his alarm and stared up at the ceiling of his dorm room. 
Guilt, and a sizable helping of heartbreak.
It had felt so real. He could still feel dream-Eddie’s fingertips ghosting over his skin. He could feel his tongue teasing over Richie’s own, so soft and warm and the perfect balance of rough and smooth. He could feel Eddie grinding against him. He could picture so vividly Eddie dropping to his knees, a sweet smirk on his face as he—
No. Fuck, fuck, no. Richie breathed in sharply through his nose and scrunched his eyes shut, willing his aching boner to go down. The emotional come down helped, realizing he would never get to touch Eddie like that, would never get to know what he felt like, how he liked to be touched. He tried to ignore it, he really did, he’d been trying to get over it for years. But how was he supposed to get over someone like Eddie? Richie had never felt his heart flip like it did around Eddie. He’d realized one day in the seventh grade that Eddie’s laugh made him feel different than anyone else’s, warmer. He wanted to know that Eddie was okay all the time, and he selfishly wanted to be the one to make him happy. His heart sang every time Eddie chose to sit next to him. The first time Eddie rested his head on his shoulder Richie thought he was gonna vomit. But, like, in a good way. 
So yeah, being in love with Eddie was par for the course. It was a part of Richie as much as his freckles and knobby elbows. But these dreams… He’d had a few before, scattered here and there across the years, but he’d managed to black them out. One or two flukes was okay, right? He’d had a sex dream or two about Bill before. Hell, he’d had sex dreams about a cashier he saw once at a Burger King. It was fine. The mind was a weird thing.
But four in a week? That was different. It made him feel like a fucking creep; he made his own skin crawl. And they were so vivid. How could he look at Eddie now? How could he let Eddie touch him, not knowing what Richie had dreamt of those hands doing? 
He bit his lip as he thought about it, the most confusing mix of arousal and shame blooming in his chest. He only came back to his senses when he tasted copper on his tongue. He did his best to shove the thoughts aside as he swung his legs over the side of his bed, halfheartedly tossing his comforter back toward the top of his bed before deciding to smooth it down more neatly. He took another deep breath and ran his hand through his hair, trying to collect himself enough to pick out an outfit for the day. He just needed to locate a shirt, boxers, and pants. And socks. God, why did that feel difficult?
Showering didn’t help clear his mind. Cocoa puffs didn’t help. Not even his acting class could help; his teacher just had them lying on yoga mats that smelled like disinfectant and stale rubber doing breathing exercises for the first half of class, which did absolutely nothing to calm him down or take his mind off of the fact that it was Friday, which meant movie night in Bill and Mike’s room. Nights when Richie and Eddie “fought” over who got to sit on the giant Yogibo before settling into it together, nice and dizzyingly close. 
He managed to avoid sitting next to Eddie at lunch just by luck of the draw. But Eddie was still there laughing harder than anyone else at Richie’s jokes and trying to toss things into Richie’s cup without him noticing, and it still made Richie glow, he still pretended to not notice who was throwing things at him, playing along with Eddie’s innocent shrugs and smiles until he “finally” caught him, which in turn made Eddie burst into giggles that were so precious they made Richie want to cry. And then after lunch Eddie came up to Richie and touched him on the arm, making him jump like he’d touched a hot stove. 
“Jesus, you good?” Eddie asked with a confused smile.
“Yeah, must be the static electricity,” Richie said, fumbling over his words, “or the fluorescents.” 
Eddie gave him a look, but he was still smiling. “Okay, that was bad, even for you.” Richie gave a small laugh. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Do you wanna go to the Auburn to study? This stupid fucking poetry class is melting my brain, so I think you owe me a scone as compensation for making me sign up for it.”
Richie’s heart ached. There was nothing he wanted more than to fuck around with Eddie at one of the too-small tables at their favorite little coffee shop downtown. But then he was looking at Eddie’s lips and the guilt was rising in him again like bile. Or maybe it was actual bile. Richie clicked his tongue. “Sorry, you know I’d love to treat my little muffin to a scone, but I’ve got a paper to write and you know they turn the wifi off Friday to Sunday.” 
The disappointment on Eddie’s face made Richie’s chest ache. “Okay, well, I’ll see you tonight then.” 
“Wear those panties I like,” he winked, his mouth getting ahead of him as usual. God, Richie wanted to kick himself. And maybe puke. But Eddie left him with a smile and a playful shove, so Richie figured he wasn’t in too much trouble. 
Richie, Stan, and Patty had been tasked with getting the pizza that night, so the three of them showed up to Bill and Mike’s after everyone else. Richie’s heart did flips when he saw Eddie lying sprawled across the giant bean bag, just like he always did when he beat Richie to it. He blushed when Eddie met his eyes and beamed, leaping up and bounding over to him. He nearly choked on his tongue when Eddie draped himself over his arm, having to get up on his tiptoes to rest his chin on Richie’s shoulder. Richie instinctively crouched down a bit to accommodate him. 
“Did you get barbecue chicken?” Eddie asked, batting his eyes.
“I’m offended you would even have to ask,” Richie grinned as he opened the box. The others were scrambling around the boxes, trying to get slices of their choice, but Richie’s long arms gave him an advantage.
“Will you get me a slice?” Eddie asked.
“And let you get to the Yogibo first? I may be pretty but I’m not stupid.” Richie grinned as he lifted his plate far above Eddie’s head and spun around, finally able to breathe once he no longer had to worry about the electric feeling of Eddie leaning against him.
“You’re gonna regret that, Tozier,” Eddie huffed, but he could never hide his smile. 
“Ooh, last names,” Richie grinned as he plopped himself down on the beanbag, fully spread eagle. “I’m scared now.”
Eddie stuck his tongue out at him before ducking under Bill’s arm to get at the pizza he was going for. Richie really tried not to linger on how cute that was. 
However, it was becoming quickly apparent that Richie was not going to be able to avoid those thoughts, as well as his less savory ones. As soon as Eddie got his pizza, he was standing over Richie with one hand on his hip. Richie made sure to look at his face and not his thighs, which his movie night sleep shorts left on full display. Richie didn’t dare let himself look down, because right then he was wondering if he’d be able to see up Eddie’s shorts from this angle. God, he bet he could. “I was sitting there,” Eddie groused. 
Normally Richie would’ve replied with something crude, would’ve grabbed his crotch with an obnoxious wink and said, “I’ve got a seat all warmed up for you right here, baby.” But now his stomach twisted at that, and when Richie managed to stop himself from saying something he struggled to come up with something else. So all he could manage was a halfheartedly sarcastic, “Here?” 
He pointed to what he thought was the beanbag, but Eddie apparently had something else in mind. “Yeah,” he smiled before dropping himself into Richie’s lap with a grace and bounce that left Richie breathless. “Right here.” 
Eddie looked so smug, and he was on Richie’s lap, and Richie could feel the situation getting real bad for him real fast. So, setting the slices of pizza aside so as to not earn himself any disappointed looks or lectures from Bill and Mike about respecting and maintaining the cleanliness of their space, he grabbed Eddie by the waist, doing his best to ignore his own rushing blood and the amused look on Eddie’s face. “Alright, short stack, you ever try asking a guy to move over?” With Eddie lifted, Richie scooted over to one side of the bean bag, then plopped Eddie on the other. Richie couldn’t decipher the look Eddie was giving him, but it somehow was making him even hotter under the collar than Eddie sitting in his lap had. 
Richie thought he was safe when Eddie huffed and grabbed his pizza, but he barely had three seconds to breathe before Eddie was wriggling his way across the bean bag to press himself against Richie. “You’re taking up the whole thing,” he grumbled as he tucked himself against Richie. Richie could not have been closer to the edge of the bean bag, but he didn’t have the breath in his lungs to say that. Every time he breathed he could smell Eddie’s shampoo, clean and fresh and somewhat minty. Richie shovelled his pizza into his mouth so he wouldn’t have to respond. And to give himself something to do with his arms other than wrapping them around Eddie and pulling him closer. 
Richie could not for the life of him focus on the movie. He felt like he was dropping on a rollercoaster, but it had been twenty minutes and the feeling hadn’t stopped. Eddie kept shifting, but never away from him, and Richie was going to lose his mind. Then, Eddie leaned up to whisper something to Richie, and he couldn’t even process what he was saying, just that the feeling of Eddie’s breath warm and soft on his neck was going to make him pop a boner. Eddie’s face was so close to his, and his hand was on Richie’s chest, and Richie couldn’t stop seeing his dreams playing on repeat. 
Eddie’s tongue in his mouth.
Eddie’s hands running down from his chest, to his stomach, lower…
Eddie on his knees, Eddie in Richie’s lap, Eddie on top of him, inside—
“Well!” Richie exclaimed, rolling off the Yogibo with the grace of a newborn calf, popping up to the fond annoyance of his friends, “I do say, nature calls, so pip pip and tally-ho, off I must go to the loo.”
“Seriously?” Eddie groaned.
“Hey, you’re the one who’s always telling me to stay hydrated!” Richie retorted. “You’ve only got yourself to blame for this waterfall.” Really? he thought to himself. Yeah, that’s gonna get him to like you. Nice one, dumbass.
“You know you really don’t have to announce that,” Bev snickered, throwing Mike and Ikes at him until he reached the door.
“Alright, alright, tough crowd. Try not to miss me too much.”
He could hear Stan yelling something about not getting lost on his way back as he closed the door, finding himself alone in the hallway of Bill and Mike’s dorm.
God, fuck, he was so fucked. He had to take himself on a walk up and down the hallway just to calm himself down. Eddie made him so hot, like he was burning up. And he’d thought his feelings were messy before he started having the dreams. Eddie whispering to him like that, touching him like that… He knew when he got back in the room that he couldn’t do it. He felt a guilt heavy in his stomach when he plopped down next to Bill, squeezing himself in obnoxiously, but he knew he couldn’t be next to Eddie just then, not without crawling out of his skin. 
He ignored the weird look Bill gave him, the weird looks everyone gave him. He ignored the way Eddie kept glancing over at him, looking so small sitting on the bean bag by himself. He ignored the aching in his chest when Eddie asked Ben and Bev to walk him home instead of Richie. He told himself this was better as he walked home alone, that yeah, he missed Eddie’s banter, he missed the sleepy way he would bump into Richie, but it was better this way, better to get some distance and let the dreams peter out. Maybe if he didn’t touch Eddie, maybe if he didn’t see him for a few days he’d get his lips out of his mind, maybe he could forget the way Eddie’s skin felt against his own, and then the dreams would stop. Things could go back to normal if he could just stay away for a bit.
But that night only brought another dream, one filled with moans and giggles and Eddie’s hands and tongue all over him, inside of him. Another dream that had his blood rushing to his cock. 
He woke up hard and grinding against his mattress. His mind still lingering in the dream, the sensations still fresh in his mind, warming his skin, Richie rolled over onto his back and desperately shoved his hands down his boxers. He stroked himself tight and fast and came into his fist in under a minute, his toes curling and his breath coming out in gasping moans. It took a minute for his mind to clear. Once it did, his blissful haze shattered pretty abruptly. “Fuck,” he muttered, reaching for the roll of toilet paper on his desk to wipe his hand off with. He tossed the wad at his trash can with way more force than necessary before angrily throwing his sheets and comforter off of himself. He needed a fucking shower. A cold one. 
He didn’t get why the fuck this kept happening. Like, fuck, the dreams were amazing, sure. But Eddie was never gonna touch him like that. He could dream and fantasize all he wanted, but that was all he was ever gonna get.
He dodged Saturday brunch, grabbing a cinnamon roll from the dining hall and eating it in his room alone. He ignored Bill’s text asking if he wanted to talk about the night before. He holed up in his room and threw himself into the essay he had to write, hoping that that would be enough to make him forget. But finding quotes didn’t exactly scratch the same itch, and his mind kept drifting to Eddie, always Eddie, whispering in his ear, touching his chest on the bean bag the night before. There was no song he could blast loud enough to get it out of his mind.
It was around three when Richie heard an insistent knocking at his door. He paused the music and groaned, figuring Bill had come by to talk to him. But when he opened the door, Eddie was standing there with his arms crossed. Richie’s heart stopped. “Hey,” he said, “wasn’t expecting you. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
But Eddie was already pushing past him into his room. Richie closed the door; the pout on Eddie’s face made him figure this was about to be a door closed kind of conversation. Which made him want to vomit, but here they were. Eddie took a breath, paused, then finally blurted out, “Did I do something wrong?”
Richie’s head was spinning. “What?”
“You’ve been weird all week.” Shitshitshitshit. “You didn’t wanna study together, you sat next to Bill last night, you haven’t called me Eds in days—” Eddie cut himself, his voice breaking and eyes falling to the floor. Richie’s heart was beating so hard he was pretty sure he’d be able to see bruises on his chest in a few hours. “So, what, are you mad at me? ‘Cause whatever I did, I’m sorry, but I don’t know what I did, I don’t know why you’re avoiding me like this.”
“Eddie,” Richie started, stepping toward him. He reached his hand out, but let it drop. He was so torn. Eddie looked so small, so sad and confused, all Richie wanted to do was scoop him up into his arms and make everything better. But how could he touch him? How could he make this better? How could he explain what was wrong without scaring Eddie off? “Fuck, Eddie, I don’t know what to tell you.”
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because Eddie’s eyes started filling with tears. “So, what? You just don’t like me anymore?”
“What? No, fuck no, Eddie, jesus, I love you!” Richie blurted. Every nerve in his body was screaming at him to run out the door, to get the fuck out of there, to not say anything more. But fuck it, he couldn’t see Eddie cry and do nothing. Grossing him out was better than hurting him, right? Eddie didn’t say anything, but he wiped a tear away and stood up a little taller, his eyes wide, urging Richie to go on. Richie took a tentative step closer before deciding against it and leaning against his bed. “Fuck, this is so awkward. Um. So, okay, so I’ve been acting weird.”
“Yeah?” Eddie prompted, turning toward him. He started to move closer, then apparently thought better of it. 
“And I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Richie ran his hands over his face, pushing his glasses up then readjusting them. “Fuck,” he said with a humorless laugh. “So um. So you’ve kinda been livin’ rent free in my dreams this week.”
Eddie gave him a confused look. 
God he was gonna have to spell it out, wasn’t he? “Like…” Richie mimed jerking himself off. Eddie raised his eyebrows. “Like, every fucking night this week.”
“Oh.” Eddie’s cheeks were pink.
“Yeah. So, you know. Kinda makes it hard to be around you knowing I’m such a fucking creep.” Richie gave a sheepish smile. 
Eddie gave him a long suffering look.
“Sorry, that was supposed to come out a lot funnier than it sounded—”
“Richie,” Eddie sighed, walking over to him. Richie straightened up, his heart in his throat as Eddie stood right in front of him. “You’re not a creep for having some wet dreams.” He gave him a smile and smacked him playfully on the chest. “I can’t believe that’s the whole reason you’ve been a dick this week.”
“Yeah, but it’s different,” Richie said before he could stop himself, thoughts flooding out on their own. 
“Why? Because we’re friends? I mean, sure, maybe every night for a week is kind of a lot, but I can’t say I’m not flattered.” He smiled then, but it softened, and he took Richie’s hand in his, running his thumb comfortingly over Richie’s skin. “I’m definitely not creeped out.”
You have to tell him, Richie’s mind screamed at him. You have to fucking tell him. If you don’t tell him now you never will. “Not just because we’re friends,” he whispered, his voice shaking. He tried to slip his hand out of Eddie’s, but Eddie just held him tighter as he looked into Richie’s eyes, waiting for more of an explanation. “I’m kinda, like… in love with you.” He waved his free hand in a ta-da motion, hoping to god that he could joke his way into making this less painful for both of them. Eddie’s eyes widened, but he didn’t let go, he didn’t move or say anything, and fuck, what was Richie supposed to with that? Fill the fucking silence was his go-to, so he started rambling, but nothing that came out was funny. “So, it’s like, the dreams are shit I’ve thought of, y’know? And I feel really fucking gross, because like, I’d do it. And I didn’t want you to find that out and think that I was taking advantage of you or whatever by letting you cuddle me and shit, because, fuck, when you were whispering to me last night, and pressing against me, I want that, y’know? You were gonna give me a fucking heart attack, and that’s weird, that’s gross, and I didn’t want you to be mad, or to leave me—” He broke on that and had to bite his lip to keep himself from crying.
“Richie,” Eddie sighed, pulling him down into his arms. Richie collected himself as Eddie held him, slowly bringing his arms around Eddie, trying to process what was happening. 
“You’re not mad?” he asked as he pulled away. Eddie cupped his face, and Richie couldn’t help but lean into his hand.
“Why would I be mad? All you’ve done is love me back.”
Richie’s eyebrows lifted hopefully. “Back?”
“Yes, back,” Eddie grinned. “I love you, too. I’m in love with you, too.”
“Fuck, for real?”
Eddie giggled and leaned up on his toes, bringing his lips to Richie’s. Richie placed his hands lightly on Eddie’s waist, kissing him back softly, making sure this was all happening, that touching him like this was okay. Once he was sure he wasn’t being pranked, he wrapped his arms around Eddie and pulled him closer, kissing him deeply, hungrily. God, he’d needed this for so many years, but he never could’ve prepared himself for how amazing it would feel. Eddie’s lips were so soft, so intentional with every move, and Richie could feel him smiling as he pulled him closer into him. Eddie’s arms were wrapped around his neck, their chests were pressed together, still Richie needed more, needed him closer. He needed to satiate the years and years of pining. 
“God, Eddie, Eds, my love, I love you so much.” He felt breathless and giddy to finally say it.
“I love you, too, Rich,” Eddie beamed, kissing the corner of Richie’s mouth, then his cheek, then his jaw. Richie moaned as Eddie pressed a kiss to the pulse point where Richie’s jaw met his neck and ran his hand over Richie’s chest, just like he had the night before. “So these dreams… what happened in them?” Richie shuddered at how low Eddie’s voice had gotten. “What was I doing in them?”
“Shit, what weren’t you doing?” Richie laughed breathlessly. “Sucking me off on your knees, stroking me and kissing my neck, fingering me, fucking me…”
“Yeah?” Eddie asked, his eyes sparkling. Richie gasped as Eddie’s hand travelled lower, teasing over Richie’s belt. “You want me to fuck you?” 
“Fuck, yes.” Richie’s breath trembled over the words. He had to grab the bed behind him to steady himself when Eddie’s palm pressed against Richie’s cock, which was quickly growing hard under his touch. At the same time, Eddie nuzzled his face against Richie’s neck, kissing the sensitive skin there. RIchie couldn’t help but moan and roll his hips into Eddie’s hand. “Eds, fuck…” he groaned. Eddie kept kissing his neck, his lips wet and warm and soft, and he tightened his grip on Richie a bit, the outline of Richie’s hard cock clear through his jeans by this point. 
“Is this what you want, baby?” Eddie murmured against his skin. Before Richie could gather himself to respond, Eddie was swiftly dropping to his knees. His brown eyes were wide and full of faux innocence, glittering with mischief as he looked up at Richie. “Is this what you dreamt about?”
“Yes, fuck, oh my god,” Richie whined, his voice thin and already so desperate as Eddie rubbed his face against the tent in Richie’s jeans. “Please, please, will you suck me, baby?”
“Wow, you’re so polite when you’re turned on,” Eddie mused. Then, with a wink, “I’ll keep that in mind.” God, Richie was excited to find out what Eddie meant by that, but for now he was fully occupied with watching Eddie undo his belt, then the button on his jeans, then his zipper. Richie got with the program as Eddie tugged his jeans down and stripped his shirt off, tossing it aside as he stepped out of his jeans, leaving him in his boxer briefs. He giggled at the exasperated look on Eddie’s face. “Where the fuck did you find Hello Kitty boxers?”
“What, like it’s hard?” Richie said. “You can find anything on the internet, my love.”
Eddie shook his head, but he was smiling. “I really love you,” he sighed, leaning in and pressing kisses to Richie’s stomach. He took his time trailing his lips down. “God, you’re so hot,” Eddie murmured against his skin, nuzzling into the patch of dark hair just above his waistband. “Every time your fucking shirt rides up I get half hard, can’t believe I’m finally getting my mouth on you.” Richie cursed as Eddie ran his lips over the outline of Richie’s cock. 
“Fuck, Eds, please.” Richie had one hand still supporting himself on his bed, but the other was now in Eddie’s hair. “I need you so fucking bad.” Richie felt his breath being knocked out of his chest when Eddie looked up and met his gaze as he sucked on the head of his cock through the fabric. But this time it was a fun breathlessness, the best kind of breathlessness. Feeling himself leaking, his cock throbbing, Richie let out another, “Eddie baby, please,” genuinely whining.
Eddie gave him a satisfied grin as he finally pulled Richie’s boxers down and let his cock bob up against his stomach. “Fuck, you have such a nice cock,” Eddie marvelled. Richie gasped as Eddie wrapped his fingers around him, stroking him. “Did you touch yourself after your dreams? Did you make yourself come while thinking about me?” Richie couldn’t believe Eddie, his Eddie Kaspbrak was talking to him like this. It made his head spin.
“Yes, oh fuck,” Richie groaned as Eddie lapped at the head of his cock, his tongue all pink and warm and wet. He pressed it flat against the base of Richie’s shaft and licked him all the way to the tip, never breaking eye contact as he did. “God, it feels so much better when you do it.”
“I know, baby,” Eddie purred. Richie let out a strangled moan as Eddie tongued at the sensitive bundle of nerves under the head of Richie’s cock. “Gonna make you feel so good.”
Richie had barely gotten out another, “Please,” when Eddie wrapped his lips around him and bobbed his head forward. Taking him in his mouth. Sucking on the head, making his knees shake. “Eds, fuck, oh my god,” Richie moaned. His eyes fluttered shut as Eddie took him further down his throat, but he didn’t wanna miss this. He’d already messed up Eddie’s hair, and his cheeks were pink and hollowed as he ran his tongue along Richie’s shaft, as he moved his lips over him. Eddie looked him in the eyes as he slid off with a popping sound, clearly happy with himself as he swirled his tongue around the head of Richie’s cock. To Eddie’s credit, the triumphant smirk was well-earned; Richie was already a whimpering mess, his knees trembling. “Eds, want you, please.”
“What do you want, baby?” Eddie asked. His voice was soft as he covered Richie’s cock in kisses that were so sweet in the filthiest way. 
“Wanna touch you,” Richie breathed. “Please, I need to feel you.”
Eddie groaned and pressed one more heated, sloppy kiss to Richie’s hip before standing up and bringing their lips together. Richie leaned into it, happily pliant in Eddie’s hands. He was still chasing the feeling of Eddie’s lips against his own when Eddie pulled back to pull his shirt off over his head.
“Oh fuck,” Richie muttered, staring at Eddie’s chest. Richie’s entire body burned as he drank in Eddie’s skin, the toned muscles underneath. Was he really allowed to look at him like this? Was he really allowed to let his gaze linger as long as he wanted?
His hesitation must have shown on his face. Softly, Eddie said, “Touch me.”
“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Richie joked, but his voice shook, and his movements were slow as he brought his hands to Eddie’s chest, sliding them down to his waist and pulling him in. He saw Eddie grin, then felt it against his lips. Richie melted into it. God, Eddie’s chest felt so nice pressed against his own. He was so warm, his heartbeat right against Richie’s. As much as Richie’s heart was racing, he felt so incredibly safe. And that safety and warmth flooded into heat as Eddie shifted Richie’s hands down, guiding them to his belt. “Fuck,” Richie shuddered, fumbling to undo Eddie’s belt. He couldn’t get his hands to stop shaking.
“I got it,” Eddie giggled, gently pushing Richie’s hands away. Richie watched in awe as Eddie rid himself of his jeans, leaving himself in tented Calvin Klein boxer briefs. 
The fumbling and giggling actually helped Richie relax—enough to laugh as he pressed his lips to Eddie’s neck and palmed him through the black fabric. “You are such a brand whore.”
“Fuck you,” Eddie laughed breathlessly, bucking into Richie’s touch.
“Oh, you better, Mr. Gucci,” Richie winked. Eddie shook his head and brought his lips to Richie’s. He slid one hand down and took a hold of Richie’s wrist, guiding his movements. 
“Don’t worry, baby, we’ll get there.” Richie groaned at the low tone in Eddie’s voice; he had no idea he could sound like that. He dipped his hand past Eddie’s waistband and wrapped his hand around Eddie’s cock, unable to wait any longer. He moaned as soon as he felt him, his cock hard and smooth and warm in his hand. Kissing his neck, he stroked Eddie slowly, running his fingers over him. “Fuck, that feels so good,” Eddie moaned. “Just like that, baby, yes, fuck.” While Eddie pushed his boxers down and stepped out of them, Richie spit into his palm, wrapping it around Eddie’s cock as soon as he was ready, getting it wet. They both groaned at the slick, smooth way Richie’s hand slid over Eddie. Richie’s chest bloomed with warmth as Eddie leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Richie’s shoulder, pressing kisses to Richie’s chest. 
“You are so fucking hot,” Richie said, pressing kisses to Eddie’s hair. Then, feeling emboldened by the way Eddie moaned and rocked his hips into his fist, he continued, “Can’t fucking wait to feel you inside of me.” 
“Fuck, I love you,” Eddie groaned. He pulled Richie into him, kissing him deeply, messily, desperately. Stroking him faster, Richie kissed back, matching his passion. “Oh my god, fuck, Richie, get on the bed.”
“Holy shit, yeah, okay,” Richie breathed, scrambling to do as Eddie said. At first he sat up, unsure where to put himself. But Eddie made it clear what he wanted as he climbed between Richie’s legs and pressed his hand against Richie’s chest, guiding him to lie back. With the way Eddie draped himself over Richie’s body and brought their lips together, running his hands over Richie’s thighs, he really truly could not believe this was his life. He moaned into Eddie’s mouth as their cocks rubbed together. “I love you,” he panted as Eddie kissed down his neck. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”
Eddie looked up at him and gave him a smile, pressing a kiss to his lips, one much softer than his previous ones. “So have I.”. Running his hands appreciatively over Richie’s body, he asked, “You sure about this?”
“Fuck yes,” Richie said, nodding enthusiastically. 
Eddie giggled and kissed him again. “Do you have lube and condoms?” 
“Top drawer of my desk.” As Eddie leaned over to grab them, Richie said, “God, this is actually happening, wow, okay, fuck. I’m clean by the way, like STD-free and everything, and also in the shower earlier—”
“Hey.” Richie shut up as Eddie stroked his hair. “Relax, okay? I’m gonna take care of you. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.” Richie nodded, but that wasn’t why he’d been rambling. Luckily, Eddie knew him, and he pressed a slow, deliberate kiss to Richie’s lips and told him, “You’re my best friend, you know that?” Richie let out a small breath as Eddie kissed the corner of his mouth, then his jaw, then his chest. “You are so gorgeous.”
Richie grinned. “So what you’re saying is you only like me because I’m hot?”
Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yes.” He cut off any response by spreading Richie’s legs. 
“Oh, fuck,” Richie moaned, happily going where Eddie guided him. The satisfied smirk on Eddie’s face made Richie glow. 
He watched, enraptured, as Eddie poured the lube onto his fingers and spread it around. He watched Eddie’s eyes track his own movements as he brought his fingers down between Richie’s legs before looking up at him. “You ready?”
“Hell yeah,” Richie said, his grin wobbly from how breathless Eddie already had him. Eddie snickered at that before circling Richie’s entrance and slowly pressing his finger inside of him. Richie gasped, his head falling back to the pillow with a broken moan. He tensed at first, but soon relaxed as he felt Eddie work him open.
“You look so good,” Eddie murmured, almost as if to himself. It made Richie blush. He really wants this, he thought to himself, He really wants me. He settled comfortably into that reassurance as Eddie pressed kisses to Richie’s thighs and hips as he worked him open, thrusting his finger in and out gently. When Richie began rocking his hips with Eddie’s movements, seeking more, Eddie complied and thrust into him faster, soon adding a second finger. Richie moaned at the stretch and spread his legs wider. “Do you like that?” Eddie asked. 
Richie could tell from his voice that he knew the answer. Still, he breathed a blissed out, “Yes,” and groaned as Eddie thrust even deeper inside of him. It felt so amazing, Eddie’s fingers filling him up, sliding in and out of him. Just as he was settling into the rhythm, his mind pleasantly warm and fuzzy, Eddie curled his fingers, sending waves of electric pleasure through Richie. “Oh my fuck—” Richie cried, arching off the bed. He twisted his fingers in the sheets as Eddie’s fingers continued to graze over his prostate, making him buzz, the pleasure so deep and so intense.
And Eddie had the nerve to fucking giggle. “What? Does that feel good?”
“God, yes, yes, oh my god, oh my fucking god, fuck,” Richie answered, his words a string of broken whimpers. As he continued massaging that sweet spot, Eddie leaned forward and licked a stripe up the underside of Richie’s cock, making him practically scream. “Eds! Fuck, fuck, not gonna—shit oh my god, I’m not gonna last if you keep doing that.” 
Eddie looked up at him, feigning innocence. “You want me to stop?” Richie was so conflicted as Eddie licked the tip of his cock in short, light strokes, making his cock throb as he lapped up the precome dripping down the head. It was fucking heaven, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out if Eddie kept going, and he needed to feel Eddie inside of him. So, reluctantly, he nodded. “Why? What do you want?”
“God, fuck me, please,” Richie whined, shamelessly impatient and petulant. 
“Fuck, that’s hot,” Eddie said. He pressed slow kisses to Richie’s hip as he slowly pulled his fingers out. Richie sat up on his elbows to watch as Eddie rolled the condom onto his cock.
“Now that’s hot,” Richie said as Eddie poured lube onto his cock and stroked it, spreading the lube around. Eddie grinned and leaned down to kiss him. Richie ran his fingers through Eddie’s hair, holding him close a moment, really feeling his lips, the way he kissed him. He melted when Eddie pulled back and nuzzled his nose against Richie’s. He straightened up a bit then and lined his cock up with Richie’s hole. Eddie gently took Richie’s chin in his hands, guiding his gaze up to meet his.
“Are you ready?”
Looking into Eddie’s eyes, warm and brown and more familiar than the back of his own hand, Richie had never been more ready for anything in his life. “Eddie, my love, I’ve been ready for this for years.” His voice was soft as he reached out and stroked Eddie’s arm. “I am so in love with you and so, so, very horny.” 
“Richie,” Eddie sighed, an exasperated but amused grin on his face. “I love you, too.” Any other words Richie might’ve said died on his tongue as he felt the head of Eddie’s cock begin to stretch him open. He held Richie’s hips still with one hand and intertwined his fingers with Richie’s with the other. “Tell me if it’s too much, or if there’s anything you don’t like, okay?” Richie nodded, squeezing Eddie’s hand. He took a deep breath as Eddie moved his hips forward, going slow, letting Richie adjust. He needed a few moments to even out his breathing and get used to the sensation; as amazing as it felt, it was a lot. Soon, however, he was pressing his lips to Eddie’s knuckles and asking him to move. He gasped as Eddie pulled his hips back, but all of the tension flowed out of his body as Eddie pushed back in. It felt so natural, having Eddie inside of him, being connected like this. He could feel every nerve in his body sighing out a finally. “How does it feel?” Eddie asked. His voice was soft as he slowly, shallowly rocked his hips. 
With a lovestruck grin on his face, Richie answered, “Perfect.” 
A look crossed Eddie’s face then, one full of love and overflowing feelings. Richie only had a second to commit it to memory before Eddie leaned down and kissed him, kissed him like he wanted to press all of those feelings into Richie’s lips to make him understand them. Richie had a feeling he would never forget what Eddie looked like in that moment, how it felt when he kissed him like that. 
He whimpered when he felt Eddie tease his tongue over his, somehow gentle and so, so dirty at the same time. Eddie groaned and leaned in further, deepening the kiss and pressing his cock even deeper into Richie. Richie moaned at how good that felt; it was so much, almost too much, but he needed more. He rolled his hips as Eddie kissed him, pressing small moans into Eddie’s mouth every time his cock brushed against Eddie’s toned stomach. Searching for something to hold onto, something to ground him, his hands ran up and down Eddie’s back, gripped at his shoulders. It felt so amazing to have him so close, to be able to linger and really appreciate the feeling of Eddie’s soft, warm skin under his hands. “I’ve wanted to hear you moan like that for me for so long,” Eddie murmured, kissing along Richie’s neck, making him shudder. 
“Feels so good,” Richie breathed, his ability to string a complete sentence together already faltering.
“Yeah?” Eddie said, smirk evident in his voice. Richie moaned and threw his head back as Eddie picked up the pace of his thrusts. Hands sliding down to Richie’s hips, holding him up a bit as he fucked him harder, Eddie told him, “Fuck, you look so good like this. You feel so amazing.” Richie’s skin burned under the praise. He went to cover his face with his arm, not used to being complimented like that, but Eddie caught him by the arm and brought his lips to the inside of Richie’s wrist. He couldn’t believe how good such a simple touch felt. It had him bucking his hips into the air, his cock begging for attention as pleasure bloomed deep inside of him. It had him whimpering for more.
“Harder,” he begged. “Please, please fuck me.” With a hungry look, Eddie leaned over and pinned Richie’s wrist above his head and began fucking Richie hard and deep and fast, just like he’d asked for. Richie’s eyes went wide as he let out a broken, “Yes.” He threw his head back and screwed his eyes shut, really feeling every thrust. Eddie was fucking him so good, filling his room with the sound of skin on skin and Richie’s desperate moans of yesyesyesrightthereohfuckyesyesfuckyes. As he opened his eyes to find Eddie’s hooded and trained on his face, Richie couldn’t help but let out a dreamy, “I love you.”
Eddie groaned and pressed himself against Richie, chest to chest, his face buried in Richie’s neck. “I love you so much.” Richie wrapped his arms and legs around Eddie and held him tight. Eddie rolled his hips, burying his cock so deep inside Richie before pounding into him hard and fast again. With the way Eddie was fucking him, Richie’s cock sliding between them where they pressed against one another, Richie was getting close fast. It was all so much in the best way. He buried his face in Eddie’s shoulder, biting down. His muffled moans were punctuated by every thrust. He raked his nails down Eddie’s back as he felt his pleasure building, coiling within him. He was right on the edge, and he wanted to live in that intensity forever. Sinking further into his desperate haze, he rocked his hips, making his cock throb. 
“Eds,” he panted, throwing his head back, “‘m close, fuck, oh my god, I’m so close.”
Eddie sat up then, and Richie let his legs fall back to the bed, spread open wide. He cried out when Eddie wrapped his hand around Richie’s cock. He arched into Eddie’s touch, his hands gripping the sheets tight. “Come for me, baby,” Eddie moaned. “Fuck, I’m so close too, wanna watch you come on my cock.”
“Oh, fuck!” Richie cried. “I’m coming, I’m coming, fuck, fuck, yes,” he moaned, his eyes screwed shut and words slurring into moans as he came, his pleasure crashing over him like a wave, engulfing him entirely. All he could feel, all he could think was Eddie. Eddie, inside of him, touching him, making him feel like this. It made it so much better than it had ever felt, knowing it was Eddie holding him, that it was his Eddie looking at him, fucking into him, telling him:
“Rich, baby, I’m coming.” Richie was still catching his breath and coming down when he felt Eddie still his hips, burying his face in his neck, biting down and sucking hard as he groaned and gasped. Richie held him and stroked his hair as he came, barely believing he was making Eddie make those noises, that he made Eddie shake like that. Once he felt Eddie relax against him, pressing light kisses to Richie’s skin, Richie held him tight and buried his face in his hair. 
“Fuck,” he laughed, kissing Eddie wherever he could reach.
“Yeah,” Eddie agreed breathlessly. “That was… wow, that was amazing.” He rearranged himself so his head rested on Richie’s chest and smiled up at him. 
“Tell me about it.” Richie kissed his nose, then delighted in the adorable way Eddie scrunched up his face.
Eddie’s eyes searched Richie’s for a moment before he said softly, “I really love you. A lot.”
Richie melted; for a second he thought he might actually cry. “Eds, you’re the fucking light of my life,” he said, barely able to finish his sentence before he was bringing his lips to Eddie’s. “I love you so much.” He knew in that moment that he would never get tired of feeling Eddie smiling against his lips. 
Eddie pressed a kiss to Richie’s cheek before saying, “I’m gonna pull out, okay?” He giggled when Richie whined.
“Just a little longer?” he pouted. Eddie kissed it right away.
“As long as you want. I could stay like this forever.”
Richie snuggled into him, taking a moment to bask in the glow before saying, his voice smug and full of love, “I knew you’ve always liked it when I call you Eds.”
“Oh, fuck off,” Eddie giggled before attacking Richie with kisses.
taglist: @clouded-eyes-and-salty-tears @eddieeatsass @deadlighturis @constantreaderfool @reddieloserz @jessicaheartsderry @vegetarian-avocado @tinyarmedtrex @sml1104 @thelazyeye @itfandomprompts @montconde @fizzylemones @lexinatorwrites @scribbles-solo @nancythebisexualslutwheeler @cutedubutokki @peachcartoon123
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mynameisminhooooo · 4 years
Text
They get to spend all of quarantine with their s/o (Monsta X)
Request : Hi!! Could you do an exo and/or Monsta x reaction to getting to spend all of quarantine with you?
Sorry I put in bullet points bc it's felt like it made more sense? Sorry if you didn't like that. I also included what y'all would do. Bc why not¿
Shownu :
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Omg this precious little bear was beyond excited to spend quarantine
Like as soon as his manager said plans were cancelled until further notice he ran out of the practice room
"Y/n I'm staying with you during quarantine..."
"Oh. Aight"
Your guy's quarantine consisted of laying in bed from the moment you woke up till 4 pm
As well as making a lot of food
And taking baths bc social distancing who?
Leads to other things 34% if the time, bc why not??
And of course singing together and him teaching you how to dance to all the songs
Cooking with this dude, where do I start
100% chance of making a mess
Would knock over bowls of side dishes while trying to grab a towel to wipe his hands
Just smiled at you when the food is all over the ground
Talking to the other members over the phone during dinner so it was like you guys were all eating together
Taking food to the other members and leaving it on the doorstep
One time they came outside before he was able to run back to the car and he was convinced he was contaminated
You had to spray him with Lysol to make him feel better
Him just being a whole lil bear the whole time
You guys would go on walks when you'd feel couped up too much
Y'all would be that extremely cute ass couple during quarantine
"I'm so glad I got to spend my quarantine with you" he'd say while kissing your forehead
"I love you y/n"
"I love me too, but your cool too"
"That's not funny" cue pout
Wonho :
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Would literally be so happy to spend time with you
Hasn't seen you in like 2 weeks because of his rigorous schedule
When he finally gets to you're guy's apartment he'd just drop all his stuff and run to you, wrapping you in the biggest hug
You guys would eat until you couldn't breath
Ordering take out everyday sometimes for all 3 meals
You guys would take an online art class because why not
Video chatting his family and ofc the members to make sure everyone was well and healthy
Calling his mom 3 times a day
Would be the person who stocks up on toilet paper
Disinfecting everything every morning
Singing karaoke every day after dinner
Doing workouts in the living room because you guys gained weight and he wanted to watch his gorgeous figure
You'd help him write lyrics
You guys would try to be productive and do fun things like read at least once every other day
He'd be so happy to spend time with you like omg
Would literally cry when he looked at you sometimes bc he just loves you that much
Your guy's favorite things to do was lay in bed in each other's arms
"I wish we could stay like this forever, I love you so much y/n"
"I love you too, but can you let me go I have to pee really bad"
Your guy's quarantine would honestly be so fun
Minhyuk :
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Would honestly act like he didn't want to spend time with you
"I guess I'm stuck with you"
\(-_-)/
"Your so lucky to have me, huh because I bought food"
Supports every small business and buys from all of them so they'd keep going
"I'll have 3 jars of kimchi, 2 bowls of kimchi jjigae, just give me half of everything"
"Minhyuk where are we gonna put all this the fridge is full"
Gives almost all the food to his family and the members
Buys like 2,264 board games
"Hey, you wanna play Monopoly I'll let you win"
Once again \(-_-)/
Fights about the dumbest thing
"I wanted to buy boardwalk!"
Throws your character off the board
Another person who stocks up, but he bought all the ramen
Your guy's quarantine would be so unproductive honestly
Like you guys just sit around playing board games
Listening to music all day everyday
Going for walks when the sun went down
If he sees an animal on the street he is bringing it home for "safety reasons"
"Look y/n this poor pigeon was left on the street"
Did I mention \(-_-)/
"Minhyuk... It's a pigeon"
Dancing throughout the house
He broke the TV while doing a twirl
Blames it on the pigeon, who you guys have name Piggy
Trying on each others clothes
But at the end of the day he'd be so happy he could spend his quarantine with you and Piggy
"I guess your ok to spend time with..."
Kihyun :
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He would be so happy to spend time with you
Would be the most precatious person
"Put on gloves y/n"
"I'm changing the channel..."
Would 10/10 spray down everything before you guys touch it
You guys baked a lot during quarantine
Burning almost everything
Would try to make jokes the whole time
They were not good...
He would try to teach you how to hit the highest notes
Him almost breaking the window
Singing together while reading
Would call every member every day to see how they were doing
You guys would try gardening together because you guys got bored
10/10 the type of dude to telling everyone to buy from small business
If he saw anyone in the street outside the window, he'd yell at them
"Get inside!"
"Do you want to die?!"
You guys would people watch
You guys tried everything possible to pass boredom
Yoga, Singing, Staring Contests
If you got sick would literally call an ambulance
"They want to know if you have a fever, are experiencing lethargy, or have a cough?"
"Kihyun I just have a stomach ache"
Would be so relieved when he just found out it was just gas
He would not let you leave the house
"I really care about you, I cant risk you getting sick"
"You do knows there is a 3% chance of death right"
"But I wouldn't be able to see you"
Wow, whatta man
Hyungwon :
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He honestly would be one of those ppl who didn't take it very very serious
"You wanna go to the park?"
"We can barely leave our house to get food?!"
"Ok, loser"
Was happy to spend time with you, but he wanted to actually do things with you like go to dinner
He just wanted to spend quality time with you
You guys would just lay in each other's arms everyday watching TV
Blinds closed letting no light in
The members would call you guys because after 3 days of nothing they were worried
"Oh we're fine, we've just been eating, sleeping and watching TV"
You guys would watch watch every variety show they have been on
You guys would try dying your hair by yourselves
"Wow y/n this blue is really nice"
"Blue it was supposed to be lilac"
How???
Shopping online for everything, food, clothes, furniture
"Y/n we need a new couch I just bought one"
\(-_-)/
You guys got erasable markers and literally drew on the wall
But they did not come off...
He would be kind of sad that he couldn't take you anywhere
But being the cutie he is he'd find ways to do cute date ideas at home
Jooheon :
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"Guess what I'm coming home for quarantine!!!!"
Literally couldn't wait to hold you in his arms
Would cry when he came home, because he gets to spend time with you for who knows how long
You guys just hold each other and cry
Would follow you everywhere
If you went to get the mail he'd go with, if you needed to run to the store to get food, he's right by you
"Why is the door locked??? Y/n, you alive? Did corona get you???"
"Don't break the door down! I'm taking a bath"
"Ohhh, let me in!"
This little jerk picked the lock
You guys just sat in the tub for like 3 hours talking about what you should do during quarantine
Things you would do together during quarantine include sitting in the tub for 3 hours everyday
Calling his sister every day so he could talk to his cute niece
He would teach you all his rap parts from every song he could
You guys would send the members a goodie package every week with food and toiletries
Because he worried about them
You guys would take online dance class
Because why not???
Tango, Rumba, Foxtrot, Meringue
He would enjoy every minute with you
You're guys little vacation came to a halt when he fractured his fibula after falling down the stairs
He felt bad that you had to take care of him
But he was so grateful to have you by his side to help him
"Y/n you don't have to get up I can go to the kitchen to get a fork"
Could barely get off the couch
"Just please sit hear"
"So like you wanna bang?"
"No, I want you to get better"
After he got injured he just got so sad that he couldn't do anything with you really anymore
"I love you y/n"
"I love you too"
I.M :
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He already was used to seeing you basically everyday
The only difference was you guys got to stay home
You guys didn't even have to change your schedule
He was grateful that he was able to wake up to you every morning tho
"Good morning, cutie"
"Why are you so close??"
Would be so nice the entire quarantine
Need him to wash your hair, just yell for him
Need something off the top shelf
He got it covered
There would be days where you guys just laid in bed the whole day though
You had online school throughout this time
"Y/n hang out with me!¡!¡"
"I'm doing homework for my English class"
"But I'm cuter than English class"
*insert pouty face*
Would try to get in your pants every other hour
You'd let him because ofc
"No, not now Changkyunnie..."
"Yes, now... Pleaseeeeee"
All the members would worry about you because you guys were the youngest and they thought you wouldn't take this seriously
Y'all did though, you only left the house for food
"Y/n am I cute?"
"No, now go to sleep"
"But I love you and I miss you"
"I'm right next to you and it's 3 am"
Bro. Idk why but this drained me I'm gonna write the exo one different bc I literally ran out of ideas of what to do doing quarantine.
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this past week and weekend have been so powerful
a bit depressed on weekends.. but wow so on monday i had an amazing day so a play for extra credit with stephen and elena and me and stephen kind of cuddled idk everytime we are together we are very touchy and i love it bc it means nothing we just love being touchy then that day i grieved.. i started tearing up thinking about my brother.. i thought of the song dear prudence at first bc the sun was uptake sky wa blue and those are  lyrics from dear prudence then i thought about how i with i could sing that song to my brother especially when he was battling with depression and then i thought about how i needed to hear that songng when i would battle with depression too and how i wish i could just be an older sister again and influence him and show him everything and everyone I've learned since being here and the day was gorgeous it was a beautiful n=monday sunny day and the air was just right with a light breeze and sunkist and the trees gistling in the backyard while i grieved then i thought of th song mother natures son then made some connection that he was making a connection to me bc i thought about where is he do i really connect with him is he still here and when i was singing it these lyrics stop out “lying on my field of grass- mother nature/s son... all day long.. i sit here writing songs for everyone .” and it kind of spoke to me .. like he spoke to me.. saying he's waiting for me in this heaven that i promised us.. a field.. and he's writing these songs all day long for everyone.. for me..thats how we communicate.. its so beautiful and amazing.. bc thats how we were communicating.. and at first for dear prudent i almost played it on my phone but then thought for some reason it just sounds more beautiful in my head.. he could have been singing it to me... and that sunday the day before there was intense yoga where i felt him playing guitar for me.. it was incredible.. and i thought back to all these memories with him and started tearing up from how powerful the corpse pose was... the song sounded something he would play.. and i kind of felt him playing it.. for me.. everything.. the style.. all of it. sounded like him. and so i played mother natures son on youtube to hear the lyrics and then dear prudence came on right after that.. like he clicked it for me.. are we communicating? i think so .. after that i went into my room but felt so energized and power and good and was touching cory when i walked by him and was just so full of light wand when i walked in the room elena was crying next to stephen and i hugged them but when i was walking towards the room i was contemplating just a bit if that experience was real.. then when i opened the door i randomly looked down on the floor and a small metal C was on the ground.. it made me smile.. and it didnt surprise m much.. for i was already in the magic of our dimension of reaching each other. i thought it was the C to his the necklace i made for myself in tribute to him but it was part of my earring that was missing the part that made it an o.. so it was a c.. and i placed it next the c i have on my crystal.. ad then later that day i met up with joshua and we tried drumming on a beautiful hill facing one side the city then the ocean but mosquitos came and we left and went to cafe rev and it was beautiful elektra was there and i made friends and saw friends and it was beuaitufl bc elektra and josh got to talk about the music school and a lot about incorporating music and yoga and ashram and we told her idea of having a drumming meditation yoga workshop then after that we left and saw guru duru and it was pure magic later joshua said he was waiting for like 5 years to olay with him and how old drum masters are good but duru is a baba.. a respectful legend.. a father of it.. he said duru is one of the best.. and it made me feel so lucky to be his friend and student.. he compared other elders to hum and basically no one compares.. and he said it was so powerful to see him that tonight and especially when he saw me throw my hands over him and damn I'm so fucking lucky that night we went to the yoga room and he taught me the african harp and since then I've been playing it and its dangerous.. so dangerous.. i spent like 3 hours on it yesterday i left i n the middle of a yoga class and i skipped things and ignore homework it takes me to a different realm and it catches peoples eyes and cast a postive judgement on me... its incredible itsnnuts it is one of the most beautiful things in this realm it takes me to other realms and that night mae me so happy and he fucking lent it to me he said it was going to be painful for him but he did it anyways.. joshua is a pure angel.. literally... casted to me from the gods.. and that night i showed baba and elena and they loved it and baba said i looked so beautiful playing it and took a picture of me and elena said she wants to hear tin the morning and the next day i got home and went straight to playing it again and i fucking figured out how to play carlo’s song.. the one i play on the piano.. but i played it on the fucking african harp.. the kora.. and it blew my mind.. it like ignites and invites him into my life.. bc it is such magic and it is HIS song. then i did yoga and left and played it more and another guest came in and loved it and took pictures of me and called me beautiful multiple times.. he later offered me so much weed and i refused then he gave me a bag of like 20 candy edibles and then i was cooking and this beautiful light of energy man knocks on the door to use the restroom and he is incredibly beautiful.. i hope to see him tonight.. but incredible.. there was like 10 extra new people at the ceremony.. such perfect timing.. the one tim ei go in the evening.. and he sits next to me and its crazy how drawn i am to his being.. his breathe.. wow it was so powerful to me that it made me laugh.. i laugh at how powerful men can be to me sometimes.. but his energy is very strong.. and i am mesmerized. such a cute geeky boy.. he has small glasses and a man bun and beautiful hazel eyes.. his name is dave.. i met all of those lovely people when i went up to grab the koran to play it outside hoping he'd hear it when ceremony ended and they all ended up coming upstairs bc stephanie (former resident) wanted to go to gurus room.. and stephanie is magic i cant wait till she comes and is a resident for a bit here.. she knew what a koran was,, she knew what i was holding.. and everyone was mesmerized by the instrument and every got quiet when i would play it and everybody was beautiful and i met chris a former british monk he just got back from a monastery in thalinad and we created so many plans together.. chris also adorable.. could be a brother of dave.. but dave has so much magic to him.. but chris says he plays flute and i told him i play african drums and koran and we can totally jam out and we are going to on saturday after morning yoga and tonight we are going to the full moon party in oakland with african drums and all my african drummer friends i am so excited I'm going to look so cute and i can just only imagine the MAGICAHHHHHHH and he said he's bringing friends too i cant wait to meet them he said he met them at burning man and shit I'm just excited joshua told me about this full moon party too and jesse is gonna be there and a few guys i met from the oakland drum circle like shit this realm is opening up to me its unbelavile I'm so excited and last night when they all left i played kora to the full moon and a special star i dedicated as my brother and played the kora for them... the moon blessed me with a  few tears and nostalgia of my brother,.. i felt it trying to work magic and put me in a place where I've been with my brother but it was difficult for me.. nonetheless the full moon last night was accelerating and escalated my life spiritually and in this realm.. and tonight I'm sure itll do the same.. I'm stuck son missing my first day of spanish class or dropping it for an african percussion class.. i would go to yoga then fire then the party or to class then party I'm not sure I'm gonna go run on it and get money from the atm for yoga house tuition  9/6/17
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