#sometimes just sometimes i get why people throughout my life wanted me in leader positions

[takkami]

it's all fun and games until i start to lose my mind over the world and laws and gov

[morganas-pendragons]

how long | the master chief

people have been digging up my master chief fanfiction with the release of halo season 2. so. here's a new one shot ft my favorite shot of the show! Spoilers for episode 1!

this will be multiple parts as we span throughout season 2. this is loosely associated with you're losing me by Taylor Swift!

A couple of tags for people who've come my way recently wanting Chief fic... @silverpelt3600 @embarrassedauthornerd (who is still getting a Game!John fic at some point) and I know there were more but I literally can't remember :(

***

Being a part of Silver is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before. It’s a team. A unit. You aren’t forced to rely on old instincts of survival on your own when you have Master Chief Petty Officer Sierra 117 covering your back.

John. Your John.

My beloved.

He hadn’t been the same since Cortana was removed from his head. You knew why. It was like losing a crucial part of himself, and no one still knew where she was. You both felt her loss so acutely.

You still sometimes turned to call out, “Little love?” In the darkness of your quarters, and waited for “Soles..” to echo back at you. The nickname she’d given you herself.

She’s not dead, but she might as well be.

You had initially suspected that Parangonsky had something to do with it. The woman was as conniving as Halsey, choosing to own the facade of the imperfect military leader with a world of decisions on her shoulders to bear. Her own cross. Just like Halsey.

No one bothered asking though, so neither did you. You and Kai continued to work as The Master Chief's shadows as the months passed. Mission after mission became civilian evacuation after evacuation. ONI was not letting you into combat.

May have something to do with the fact that the entirety of Silver has taken out their inhibitor pellets.

You repositioned yourself between Kai and Vannak as the three of you peered out over the cliff face you were occupying on Sanctuary. "Babysitting duty," Vannak muttered. "Aren't we better than this?"

You snorted and flexed your finger against the trigger of your assault rifle. "We're here to keep an eye on Chief. And this complaint is coming from the guy who indulges in documentaries for fun," You mutter, to which Kai also breaks out into laughter. "And feeds his pigeons."

"I'll have you know-"

Kai nudged your shoulder as John and Riz approached the group of civilians where Captain Shepherd was currently trying to coax their leader, a native priestess, into evacuating. "Shut up and pay attention you two," She teased. "Looks like Captain Shepherd is trying to work on his negotiation skills."

The UNSC had sent the five of you to Sanctuary to evacuate before the Covenant arrived to glass it. That had been happening to a lot of colonies recently.

More often than not, you found yourself huddled next to John in his cot on the nights that the dead just would not stop screaming. It was easier to deal with when you were The Lone Headhunter. When you had your pellet.

When you were more machine.

"This would be so much easier if Cortana was around." You whisper to yourself, thankful that neither of them pay attention to your statement. The AI had become a welcome friend and presence in your life since you'd found yourself becoming closer to The Master Chief. Since you'd found yourself loving him. Loving John.

John hadn't been John in... six months. And you missed him.

They never did say loving from afar was easy.

By the time you were properly paying attention again, John was communicating his position through TEAMCOM as he took off toward the upward cliff face that would lead to where Bravo Team was at. A nagging feeling gnawed at your stomach as you stood to your feet.

"Where is he going?"

"To retrieve Bravo," Vannak replied as he pressed his hand against the side of his helmet. "Comm signal is static. Can't get a clear answer. Seems like there's some type of interference from the relay."

You were already on your way towards John’s location being displayed in your HUD. There was no way you were going to let him do something like that on his own. Especially with his emotions being at such a heightened state since Cortana’s removal, you didn’t quite trust him to make a logical decision right now.

You stopped at the base of the cliff. The fog above loomed above menacingly, like a bad omen waiting to make itself known. You still couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in your stomach.

“Silver One, this is Silver Five. Come in.”

Static.

Cursing under your breath, you steadied your feet and activated the grapple shot recently installed to your Mjolnir. The tech’s had done it per The Chief’s request. Something about needing his most lethal and stealthy team member to be able to utilize that skill to the best of their ability.

Quick, quiet.

The grapple shot up into the fog and took you along with it.

***

How long has it been?

You ask yourself this question every night you sneak into his bunk while Silver sleeps on either side of you. John sleeps at the far end, prone with his arms at his sides, hazel eyes cast toward the ceiling. This is your curse. You cannot sleep without hearing the screams of those you know who have died.

Those you failed to save.

How long has it been since I've seen John? The real John?

You wordlessly settle at his side when his arm comes up to allow you to tuck yourself into him. Despite being only a few inches apart in height, you automatically feel safer with your cheek pressed against his chest and the bulk of his muscle sheltering you from any outside threat.

It's the whisper of your name that catches you off guard. "Soles.." John's voice cracks in the darkness as you lift your head high enough to meet the gaze that stares back at you. Despite how much he's changed since losing Cortana, you can still see remnants of the very broken man he has been trying so hard to hide. "When does it end?"

"When does what end, John?"

"The war."

You know very well he isn't talking about the Human-Covenant War. He's talking about the internal war that Spartans face when they're able to feel too much. The conflict of being made to be more machine then man. More soldier. Being forced to execute orders despite knowing they're morally wrong.

"I don't know.. but I don't think it ever will."

How long has it been, since the two of you had been able to just enjoy each other? To be at peace?

***

Too long.

You were barely able to get your footing before a hand was wrenching you into the dark. Your visor tipped upward to meet the glowing gold of The Master Chief's before you, just barely concealing the lone marine who stood petrified behind him.

"You shouldn't have come, Silver Five."

You shrug noncommittally. "I don't care, Chief. Sitrep." You remarked sharply as the two of you moved to pull the girl between you. It was the only way she'd be protected without any kind of armor to shield her from the threat in the fog.

"Something's in the fog. The Covenant were here before we were-"

It's only then that you see the Elites lingering in the shadows. Decades of instincts and training immediately kick into gear as you remove your weapon from your belt - a newly obtained energy sword, courtesy of the last high ranking Elite who'd tried to rush you - and activated the blade before charging at your nearest opponent.

Blood spattered against your armor while John continued to cover you from behind. They yell at you. Mock you. Call you Demon. You know enough to understand that singular word in their mother tongue.

You cut them down anyway. You are Sierra-343. You are built for this.

But ONI is determined to keep you from it.

***

The glassing beam is terrifying. You haven't quite been afraid for your life in a long, long time... but the stinging heat that comes from it sears the back of your armor as you sprint across the field to the Condors.

The Priestess was not about to let The Master Chief leave the planet without prophesying over him.

"Find your faith, Spartan. I have seen your death." Her eyes slowly shift to your fingers wrapped around The Master Chief's wrist, desperately urging him forward to the Condors where Kai and Vannak were waiting for you. "You are not long for this world. It comes soon. "

How long?

You're running against the clock as the three of you sprint into the Condor just in time for it to take off. Breathless, you cast aside your helmet to stare at the amber hue of fire as Sanctuary is overcome by the glassing beam from the Covenant Carrier.

***

Ackerson spent the first several days of his time in ONI working on you. As his Lone Headhunter, he saw you as an asset to utilize with a skill that far outweighed Silver Team combined.

"Do you think that at his core.. The Master Chief is broken?"

Unarmored and dressed in your civilian clothing, you stared out at the open expanse of Reach City right beyond the window.

“I think that The Chief is a human being who had undergone a significant amount of trauma in a very short amount of time. I think ONI overlooks that because the only use he has to them is to be the hero you need on the front lines of a war we’re not going to win,” You replied coldly, turning around to face Colonel Ackerson with your hands neatly folded behind you. “Do you have any other questions that pertain to my role in Silver Team or my history as a Headhunter, sir?”

“I am not your enemy here. You know that. You’ve undergone some of the most extensive types of torture under covenant hands from your time on The Exalted.” You froze at the remark, disdain and anger flashing across your gaze as you met his eyes. “You are remarkable. Resilient. I want that for the future of what we have here. I do not wish for such contempt to come between us.”

“Then I would prefer you keep my past and my trauma out of conversation.” You motion towards the door to ONI’s main office. “Am I free to go?”

Ackerson flashed a tight-lipped smile. He knew you would be the most difficult to crack on Silver Team. Kai had said as much. Given your involvement with the Spartan Two program and how quickly you'd taken to working with a team, he'd anticipated you would be loyal to them.

He hadn't anticipated the extent of how loyal you'd be to The Master Chief though. There must've been something there. Something else the others didn't know about.

"Yes, you are. Thank you for speaking with me."

You bit the inside of your cheek so hard that you tasted blood as you and John locked eyes passing one another in the main doorway of the ONI office.

He'll have questions for you later.

***

Kai caught John's gaze wandering to you as you and Riz continued working on your hand-to-hand on the gym floor. There was just something so graceful about the way you moved, and the way you looked...

"Hey, Chief," Kai's voice broke through his reverie as John turned away from you to gaze at the monitors near the lockers. "Come take a look at this."

You narrowly avoided an uppercut to the jaw as you attempted to tune into Keyes speech where he was awarding Talia Perez a Colonial Cross. You knew the truth though. A truth that Ackerson was not hearing, and a truth that John had attempted to get Ackerson to reveal during their meeting.

He didn't breathe a word. And unfortunately, when he'd intercepted you an hour later, neither did you.

How long since you stopped trusting me, Soles?

"Turn it off." Vannak demanded. "I've heard enough from this guyat debrief."

"What questions did he ask you?"

The main point of conversation between you both again rang in your ears as Riz moved to sweep your legs out from beneath you. Do you think that The Master Chief is, at his core, broken?

Dread bubbled in your stomach. Did he know?

Did Ackerson know about you two?

You didn't have enough time to react as Riz swept your legs out from underneath you just as Cobalt Team walked into the room. You didn't bother learning any of their names. You just knew you hated the blonde one the most.

Riz extended a hand to you just as she approached you both. "You see, this is why you don't go taking your pellet out. Makes you emotional." Cold blue eyes regarded you as you both stepped into her space. "Makes you weak."

Your eyes narrowed. "You know, for someone who's barely encountered The Covenant.. Tell me. Who endured torture at the hands of high-ranking Elites aboard a Covenant Cruiser for months before I got myself out?"

"And who's to say you're not a whining Covenant sympathizer now?"

Rage flashed behind your eyes as you lunged and very nearly caught Val, had it not been for John winding his arms through yours to keep you from making a rash decision.

You weren't paying attention to anything else that was said until Cobalt was gone. John bent to whisper in your ear, "Stop trying to get yourself killed, Soles."

You wrenched yourself from his grasp and jabbed your finger into his chest angrily. You weren't mad at him, persay. You were mad at the place that loving him had put you in. That loving him was now a way to be exploited. And you swore you wouldn't be in that position again when Halsey was gone. When you became part of Silver.

"Then stop trying to protect me, Master Chief."

But they had spent years telling you a very simple truth: You were a machine created to serve a singular purpose. Machines were not conditioned to feel.

And they certainly did not love.

***

You didn't come to John's bed that night. You didn't come for quite a while after that, and he then determined that you were the one thing he feared you to be.

A liar.

And he didn't understand why you were hiding it. Why were you hiding what happened on Sanctuary, and why were you avoiding Ackerson? What had he asked you?

Why were you running?

***

He wasn't expecting this. The whole point of coming to this place was to find some semblance of her, something that offered comfort in the way Cortana would have if she were here.

She wasn't dead, but she may as well be.

He swiped his credit chit and sat down with his hands in his lap. "I don't really know what people say to each other. And the one person I want to talk to right now is..." John swallowed the knot in his throat. "Isn't themselves. And I'm-"

"Lost?"

"Yeah. I think there might be something wrong with me. That's why they ran. They figured out there's a part of me that's missing. Sometimes there's a sound like something in my head is there that doesn't belong. And maybe it's part of you that got embedded in me."

"Oh, sweetie... You miss them, don't you?"

John grimaced. He did. He did miss you and Cortana. He'd give anything to go back to that medical table where he'd kissed you the first time.

He was so deeply engrossed in his memory of Sanctuary, of seeing Makee, of hearing her voice, that he didn't even notice you come in. You stood in the doorway with your hood concealing your face and slowly lowered it as John stared up at you in shock.

There wasn't just shock there though. There was... desperation.

How long since you willingly let someone in?

"Soles?"

"John. We need to talk."

part two?

[arceespinkgun]

Jazz in "The Magnificent Six!" Character Analysis

When I completed my read of the Marvel UK Transformers comics, I was blown away by a text story in one of the annuals: "The Magnificent Six!" Not only is it the darkest this continuity ever got in my opinion, but it also recontextualized the personalities and behaviors of the main characters who appear in it, putting all their previous appearances in a different light. This was especially affecting since this story comes right near the end of the entire continuity, so that's years' worth of material that it made me reassess.

"The Magnificent Six!" follows Jazz, Prowl, Wheeljack, Inferno, and Sunstreaker, and how war has changed them. It recounts their experience with attempting to free a neutral town from Decepticon control and how the whole situation goes horribly wrong due to events largely out of their control, while also exploring the impacts of survivor's guilt. In the present, Optimus unknowingly sends them on a mission to that same place and they are forced to confront and work through their trauma. There's a summary of the events in chronological order here or see the story as it's meant to be read, with multiple perspectives and flashbacks throughout, on 🏴‍☠️ websites just by searching, "transformers UK annual read online" and selecting the second-to-final annual.

Content warning: this story includes sadistic torture on top of its other dark themes, and I'll have to make reference to the disturbing content.

In this post, I want to break down how this story made me see Jazz—one of my favorite transformers—differently, and why I think this is such an interesting and effective backstory for him. Something to note about "The Magnificent Six!" is that despite Prowl having been the leader of the titular team, Jazz is the central focus. He gets a flashback to himself, Megadeath (the Decepticon leader they face in the story, particularly sadistic and zealous even for Decepticons) attacks him first, he is the one to tell the whole truth of what happened to Silverbolt, and his words close out the story.

Hint: the Autobot you don't recognize who's standing on the hill is the one who didn't survive

Jazz's Characterization

Jazz's characterization in the rest of this continuity is similar to the way he is in the Sunbow cartoon... at least, on the surface it is. He loves Earth culture, especially music and dancing! He's really good at improvising! He tries to be positive when he talks to people! But he can also be kind of hard to read. There are some less obvious things about Jazz's character as well. There's another annual story I've posted in full that seems to indicate that while being pleasant on the surface, Jazz internally judges the people around him. He gets antsy when he's stuck in one place too long.

And at his core, he seems to want to just soak in the sights and appreciate life quietly without war or other people around.

Jazz meets a deer!

Jazz is very eager to try diplomacy as a strategy, and in an early story, secures a fuel source this way.

I bet Jazz learned about capitalism by listening to "Material Girl"

However, while Jazz is depicted excitedly absorbing human culture, he doesn't necessarily feel like he understands humans or that he's understood in turn. While he interacts with humans, there is often a distance in those interactions.

Jazz was sometimes drawn with triangular eyes under his visor that make him look old and depressed

Jazz also sometimes comes across as being deadened to violence. I remember in one annual comic, he shoots at Starscream and ends up killing a human villain Starscream had abducted, and Jazz never thinks about or talks about it afterward.

In one of his early interactions with humans, he also didn't seem to register that preventing Sparkplug and Buster from running out of the Ark with a flamethrower might hurt them in any way.

A calm also applies to when violence is inflicted upon him: in the Target: 2006 story arc, when he's captured and tortured by Galvatron, he's very calm throughout until the end, when he just laughs at the turn of events.

I love that Galvatron gives a long speech about his origin and fight against Unicron and Jazz's reaction was just to be like, all right, guess that's one less thing I have to worry about LMAO

Speaking of Galvatron, in this continuity, there's an alternate universe in which Unicron ate Cybertron and Galvatron was conquering Earth for him. In that reality, Jazz ended up as one of only three survivors (Jazz, Prowl, and Inferno... hey, also all members of the Magnificent Six lol) and when he was about to face Galvatron in a last stand he believed was suicidal, his dialogue revealed a lot about his character.

All of these traits I've mentioned will be explored in "The Magnificent Six!"

Jazz in "The Magnificent Six!"

In the opening of the story we see Jazz from a unique perspective. The first notable thing is that we learn who he was back before Optimus Prime became a leader. Jazz was a freedom fighter who went around liberating territory from Decepticon rule. Not only that, but because this first flashback begins from the perspective of a Decepticon guard (Steamhammer, said to have been a killer even before the War), we get a rare glimpse into what the Decepticon perspective on Jazz was back then. It sounds like he was one of the most dreaded and hated of the Autobots!

And the reputation appears to be well-earned. Jazz in the past here seems noticeably different in personality—he comes across as hot-headed and more of a leader. Notice how unsure the supposed leader of this team, Prowl, comes across in this flashback, in which he instead looks to Jazz for approval.

Later, when we see Jazz's flashback, we get further context into his character, and suddenly his love of other cultures and their media is so bittersweet. In this flashback, he's running over the events in his mind, trying to figure out when everything went wrong. Ultimately, he blames himself for nearly laughing at the offensive joke Sunstreaker told to try and lighten the mood after the citizens' museum was bombed—Jazz believes that's when everything fell apart. So of course he'd be so focused on culture!

And of course he doesn't speak his mind! His guilt would prevent him from doing so.

Especially given the consequences. For people who haven't read the story, note that I'm going to describe the darkest part now. We get to look into Jazz's mind as he's being tortured, melting to death. Laughing maniacally is his response to being pushed past the brink of despair.

This is notable because as shown above, when he's captured and tortured by Galvatron millions of years later, he has this exact same reaction!

Essentially, in retaliation for the seven days the team was able to fend off the Decepticons, Megadeath had them tortured for seven days. That included the melting scene. But he only inflicted physical pain upon five of the six—one, Stampede, a beastformer, he left untouched, but forced to watch as his friends were broken mentally and physically. Then, he gave the five disassociating team members to the count of ten to prevent him from executing Stampede in front of them, knowing they were too mentally damaged to even move, making them feel consumed with guilt.

And as if that wasn't enough, he then told them he'd left a nuclear bomb beneath the town they'd tried so hard to save, and they couldn't find it in time before it blew up. They then ran away in shame and feigned amnesia for millions of years.

I recount all this horrific shit because it explains a lot about Jazz as a character. He is a very pleasant person, and is extremely popular—in Target: 2006 a mind-controlled Jazz takes out all the Autobots just because nobody wanted to lay a finger on him!—but he almost never confides emotionally in anyone and has very few close bonds. I believe the loss of his teammate and the way Megadeath twisted the knife gives a lot of insight into why this is—Jazz of course feels the burden of responsibility and works hard to do good, but how could he bear to let people in after all of that? Especially when he blames an expression of pure emotion for all of those traumatic things happening to so many innocent people?

Prowl and Silverbolt

I also want to touch on two of Jazz's dynamics with other characters, ones that are relevant to "The Magnificent Six!"

As can be seen in some of the excerpts above, Prowl is another important character in the story. While many of the most dramatic beats center Jazz, Prowl also gets some of the spotlight. At the end of the story, when the Autobots find the inner strength to face Megadeath again after talking openly about their traumatic past, everyone beats Megadeath nearly to death. However, Prowl finds it within himself to resist a killing blow, because to kill an unarmed opponent is morally wrong. And while this story closes with Jazz's words, it's Prowl who prompts them.

When I say that Jazz has very few close bonds, Prowl is actually one of those few, probably the most significant one. While reading through the comics I did notice that Jazz shows noticeably more concern for and closeness with Prowl than he does with others (see issues #266 and #268) and also gets uncharacteristically angry with and argues with him in issue #42 (though this doesn't shake their ability to work together—which I feel is also notable). That being said, I didn't think anything of this for quite a while. I had also noticed that Prowl seems to really respect Jazz and defer to him, but I also didn't think that was important because like... who wouldn't respect Jazz? But with the additional context of "The Magnificent Six!" I feel as if this is significant due to the shared trauma and their initial reputation.

It's actually very rare to see Jazz be physically close with anybody

This leads me to Silverbolt. Silverbolt is also a significant character in "The Magnificent Six!" because he's the only person sent on the mission who wasn't part of the original team. In fact, he was created on Earth! Because of this, he's the one who pushes hard for the other Autobots to open up about what is keeping them paralyzed with trauma and shame. You can see how he goads Wheeljack and it spurs Jazz into finally seeing that they have to face the truth because it's been eating away at them for millions of years.

Silverbolt's presence is also what causes Prowl to remember Autobot morality and resist the urge to just kill Megadeath.

Silverbolt's perspective on opening up to others is informed by his experiences with his fellow Aerialbots, who are as young as he is. Throughout this continuity, Silverbolt spent a lot of time struggling and causing erratic behavior when combined with his teammates, because he kept trying to hide his fear of heights from everyone. But he remembers in "The Magnificent Six!" that he was met with more support than he'd ever had before once he did face the truth.

Silverbolt is a big proponent of therapy!

"The Magnificent Six!" is what I consider to be the conclusion to a series of comics known as the Earthforce branch of the Marvel UK run, and Jazz, Silverbolt, and Prowl were all members of the Earthforce together, as were the other Autobots on the mission. But I feel Silverbolt being the one to drive the plot forward is particularly significant due to a thematic connection. Previously I mentioned a fight that Jazz and Prowl got into, which happened early in the UK run—Prowl and his supporters called on Optimus Prime to use the Matrix to give life to Autobot super soldiers and just crush the Decepticons in order to prevent more casualties. Jazz and his supporters said that would be immoral and that there was no way they'd have enough fuel for those super soldiers when they barely had enough for themselves.

Optimus was incredibly distraught by this argument but came down firmly on the side of not using the Matrix for such things. ...At least, for a little bit, until he reconsidered after Megatron reemerged. Optimus went back on his original decision and made the Aerialbots. Perhaps Optimus's guilt over using the Matrix in this fashion caused him to be exceedingly harsh toward the young bots multiple times throughout this continuity, seemingly having little faith in their abilities.

I think there's something especially resonant about one of the people who was created as a result of that disagreement being the one who ended up giving them the support they needed to face their own traumatic past.

BFFs share laughter as a coping strategy for dealing with the most painful moments in life!

Conclusion

While I get the sense that this may change, particularly with the new Skybound comics featuring Jazz and showing more of his friendship with Cliffjumper which has its source in the Sunbow cartoon, I don't feel like we've ever had this much of a window into Jazz's past and such a deep look at his personality and relationships. I don't think that any future content needs to be this dark, but I hope that as much attention is given to Jazz in the future! As it is, I think this is some of the most compelling material Jazz ever had.

[educationnursing]

How can an ER nurse make more money?

Eight Ways Nurses Can Increase Their Income

Network. Networking refers to meeting new people and establishing contacts in your career. You’ll hear a lot about networking in nursing school or on the job. There are many ways to network these days: Social media, on the job, while you’re in school, and so forth. Allow me to illustrate how networking can pay off. Not too long ago, I heard of a guy on a nursing floor who wanted to apply for a new shift leader position that had opened up. Everyone like this particular guy, and he was sure to get the job. However, the nurse manager over that unit had to promptly step down. A new nurse manager was hired, and she filled the shift leader positions by hiring one of her friends. It’s not always about how hard you work in life–sometimes it’s about who you know! So networking can pay off.

Work Night Shift. A lot of people dislike working night shift due to the change in sleeping habits. However, most night shift positions offer a pay premium. This could be a dollar amount (extra $1-3 per hour), or a percentage increase in pay. Either way, working night shift usually increases your overall income. Sure, it’s not for everyone, but if you’re willing to do it, you can reap the rewards.

Work in Critical Care Areas. If you work in high-stress areas such as the ICU or ER trauma centers, you’ll likely earn more money per hour. Why? These areas can be very stressful and very demanding. Nurses encounter very serious situations, and they require thick skin and quick action. So if you work in one of these areas, you’ll likely earn a premium. Some healthcare facilities call it “critical care pay.” Others may call it something different. The bottom line is that you’ll likely have a bigger paycheck!

Obtain Additional Certifications. You can obtain certifications for many nursing specialties. These may be directly offered by your employer, or you may have to sign-up to take a certification course through a credentialing agency.  One such agency is the ANCC (American Nurses Credentialing Center). This agency offers certifications for many nursing specialties. Once you become certified, your employer may offer a wage increase. In addition, you’ll open up opportunities for advancement throughout your nursing career!

Participate in Career Ladder Programs. These programs are usually offered by hospitals or large healthcare organizations, and they allow nurses to earn an extra bonus based on the completion of their program. My wife participated in one of these programs, and it was called the BEST program at her hospital. BEST stands for Bedside Excellence Shining Through. This program had different tiers, and based on your tier, you had a percentage wage increase from 2-6%. To complete this program, my wife had to submit a paper, put together a portfolio, and some other minor tasks which detailed her experiences and training as a nurse.

Move Into Management, Shift Leader, or Charge Nurse Positions. There are always plenty of ways to grow in your nursing career, and one way is to simply apply for a management or leadership position. By becoming a charge nurse, shift leader, or a nurse manager, you stand to earn a big bump in your earnings.

Earn an Advanced Degree. When it comes to healthcare professions, obtaining an advanced degree almost always pays off.  Consider this: The average salary for an LPN (as of 2014) in the United States is $43,420. The average salary for an RN (2014) is $69,790. You can become an LPN in about one year through a diploma or certificate program, but you can become an RN with just one year of extra schooling (ADN degree, which takes about 2 years). Just one year of additional schooling could give you a gross increase of $26,370 per year (69,790-43,420). Over a 40-year career, that’s over $1 million bucks. Likewise, consider the average salary for a CRNA as of 2014: $158,900. This requires a master’s level education, so there’s definitely more schooling involved, but you could earn $89,110 more than a BSN-RN per year. Over a 40-year period, that’s over $3.5 million bucks! Not bad! Grated, I didn’t factor in the cost of tuition, taxes, or opportunity costs, but it’s pretty clear to see that an advanced degree in nursing (or other healthcare professions) almost always pays off.

Change Your Industry. Some industries just pay more than others do. You may make more money working for a large for-profit company as compared to a smaller not-for-profit company. One of the top paying industries for RNs within the healthcare sector (as of 2014) was specialty hospitals (state owned), which had an average salary of $77,660. One of the lowest paying industries within the healthcare sector was residential mental health and substance abuse facilities, with an average salary of $59,950. So sometimes it can pay to switch employers or work in different industries.

[claumanlambus]

Bye 2022, Hello 2023!

Hi everyone! How time flies! It's already 2023! It’s so nice to see I was able to make two blog entries last year. I tried my best! Anyway, I just wanted to share my 2022 highlights because it's been such a wonderful year for me and my family! I wanna share how grateful I am for all of the blessings we received over the past year. I really felt optimistic that 2022 would be a good year for us and indeed it was! Even though it hasn't been really an easy year for us, I am still grateful.

It just feels surreal! I am still in awe of how things turned around for us in 2022. First, is my promotion as a Lead Trainer. I've been a Training and Content Developer since 2018 and I am actually unsure about my career path. I am somewhat considering going towards the leadership path but felt it's just not really something I wanna pursue for now because I don't want other responsibilities that would make me spend less time with my family or for my self. I was actually happy with my role but then I've been in that position for 4 years already and probably got too comfortable with it. That is why I tried working on more projects and helping out our team more. Being a Lead Trainer is the next best option for me since it’s a role where you don’t actually have people under your bucket yet but just working more on the analytics side of the whole Training Team. Luckily, out of all the other eligible candidates from my teammates, I was able to get the post. I am really thankful to my leaders for believing in my abilities and entrusting me with this position. Of course, I worked hard for it too, and prayed and hoped to get this because I know I will definitely learn new things and enjoy this role.

Another blessing we have received is for my partner. His long-awaited Bar Exams finally pushed through after waiting for two years! Xavier graduated from Law School in 2020 but the pandemic happened so it got postponed for quite a while! It's been a struggle because I’ve been the sole financial provider for our family ever since he resigned from his job last 2016 to focus on Law School and with the bar exams getting delayed, our plans for our family was greatly affected. I know, It was a significant risk we took and it’s a total struggle but we just hoped and trsuted that these sturggles will be worth it someday. I just can’t explain all the details because it will be a very long story, but glad we were able to survive. But of course, the waiting and the agony doesn't end when he took the bar exams. We were dreading about the results because that is a make or break for our future. But by God's grace, my partner passed the #BestBarEver and is now officially a lawyer! ♡

However, it hasn’t been all sunshines and rainbows for us. I know this one I'm about to share isn't something to celebrate but maybe God's reminder that despite all the achievements and blessings we received, we should not forget our loved ones who have been with us all throughout the things we have been through. We lost our first family dog, Ginger. Ginger is Xavier's gift for my 25th birthday that is why she is really special. She’s been with us for 7 years. The whole time while Xavier’s in law school. What makes it harder is we were out of town when she left us. Ginger has been the most loyal and strong out of all our dogs. Prior to Ginger we already lost 2 furbabies, Twix and Cali due to Ehrlichia. I can't help but blame myself because we've been so busy with other things that sometimes we tend to neglect our pets. It's so heartbreaking thinking that they deserve better but my partner and I have really tried to be a better furparent for them. But I guess that's just life. This made us feel we are not really ready to have pets in the meantime especially since our youngest child is still a toddler.

Despite the heartbreak we experienced in losing a pet, I guess it's just something we have to experience to be able to move on and be ready for the next phase of our lives. This is really something unexpected but we were finally able to get a place of our own. We got our own Condo! After years and years of renting, God finally answered our prayer.

Just a short story, Xavier and I decided to live together in 2014. Since we don't have the financial capacity yet to get a place of our own, we just rented. We have been renting for 8 years. In between, of course, we hoped and tried to look for our own place but just really can't because of our financial situation. The unit we got right now is something we've been eyeing since it was pre-selling I think around 2015 or 2016. You have no idea how bad I wanted to get a unit here because of the location, the amenities plus the unit size and layout are definitely way better than the other Condos we've seen online. But you know how things work. it won't always get in our way so I just kept on praying and hoping that someday we can finally get a unit here. Well, I guess God is really listening and got tired of how stubborn I am so he finally gave in. LOL! Just kidding! We just have to believe that great things take time. God probably just tested our faith and patience to see if we are ready and deserving of this.

We just trusted him and believed it will not always be struggles. I just can't believe how things are aligning for us at that time. Since Xavier can help me out with our finances because he finally got a job as a Lawyer, we were finally able to get our unit! and I am proud because this is something that we worked hard for on our own.

Here's a photo of our community from our balcony:

I had fun deciding what furniture and appliances we should get since our condo unit obviously has bigger space than our apartment. From choosing the curtains, pillows, decors, plants, and many more! I'm actually still not done decorating our interiors and still enjoying buying stuff for our home. That's my guilty pleasure right now! I guess that phase won't end anytime soon. We also celebrated our first Christmas and New Year here and I am already excited and looking forward to the next holidays, actually! Now, we have been here for 5 months. Turning 6 months by the end of January.

I am excited about what 2023 has in store for us. Hopefully, this will still be a good year for us. Of course, we will continue working hard for a much better future. I am excited to share more stories through my blog. Hoping that I could get more time to post this year.

[reids-rendering-reality]

Guys My Age

Summary: Y/N is the newest addition to the BAU team and Spencer appears to have taken a special liking towards her. The only problem is, he thinks he’s too old for her. However, that’s all about to change when they share a hotel room.

(A/N: I’m such a sucker for the hotel room trope so I combined it with two of my other favourite ideas: Spencer being older than the reader and catching her doing yoga)

Type: fluff + a sexual innuendo or two

Warnings: dirty thoughts, insecurity about age, age gap, anxiety, yoga?

Word Count: 2.1K

Spencer Reid’s POV

I pulled the handle of my satchel over my shoulder as I sighed. It was a very long day in a small rural town somewhere deep in Alabama. Everyone else had gone back to their hotel room, besides Hotch and I. There was just something about this case I couldn’t get out of my mind. The feeling of being so close to the final piece of the puzzle, as if it were on the tip of my tongue but I couldn’t grip it. Yet I had to let it go for the night and get some rest. The much needed REM sleep could give me an entirely new perspective on this problem to me tomorrow. At least that’s what I hoped.

On the walk to the hotel room I was getting increasingly nervous, the more rooms I passed in the hallway. This small hotel did not have enough rooms to accommodate the whole team separately. They only had four rooms for the seven of us. JJ and Emily had immediately paired up, just like Rossi and Morgan. And Hotch being the team leader took the single room. Leaving me with our newest and youngest member, Y/N.

It’s not like I didn’t like her. That’s not what it was at all. Just, she made me a little bit nervous. She was so beautiful that sometimes I couldn’t get out any words around her. And that says a lot because I always have something to say. But as cheesy as it sounds, in some moments there is not a single fact that I can recall. 

But the elephant in the room demands to be heard. She is younger than I am. And that by a lot. By exactly ten years and three months. That appears to be a lot. I don’t really know why, but that bothers me. We are both adults, but because of social conventions at our age, I feel as though it is inappropriate. Yet if I were 60 and she were 50 or I was 80 and she was 70, no one would even blink at the gap. Yet because we are young it matters. I feel sad when I think about it because I like her a lot. And when we talk I don’t notice the age gap. In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that it wasn’t even there at all.

What surprised me as I was having these thoughts and neared the room was the fact that I actually considered asking her out. Since Maeve I have not been on a single date. And who said she would even be interested in anything beyond a casual friendship or even colleagueship with me? That’s not even considering the amount of courage it would require for me to tell her. But it’s not like that would be a fruitful endeavour.

And that was the last thought I had before I reached the door to room 179. A prime number. Prime numbers would be my lucky numbers if there were such a thing.

As I rummaged around my pockets and satchel for the key card I noticed the sound of music coming through the door.

“Gotta thank him he’s the reason

That I’ll find what I’m looking for.”

I heard a woman sing over the sound of an electric guitar. I still hadn’t found my key card.

“Guys my age don't know how to treat me

Don't know how to treat me.”

My movements stopped when my brain registered the lyrics. Guys my age…?

“Guys my age don't know how to touch me

Don't know how to love me good.”

My breath hitched and I gulped, key card in hand. Did she mean that? Could it be possible that she would be interested in someone ten years older than her? The feeling of hope was beginning to form in my brain, scenarios of what could be clouding my vision. But they were quickly pushed aside by a dark storm of self-doubt. Because most people don’t listen to lyrics as closely. The lyrics to a song don’t mean anything to them. Did they mean anything to her?

I realised I had been standing in front of the door for way too long and gathered all my confidence to go inside. But nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see. After closing the door behind me and tucking away the key card into my bag I turned around for the first time.

There she was. In the middle of the room in front of the two twin beds on a yoga mat. Her front leg was bent as she stretched her back. She was only dressed in skin tight pants and a matching bra that complimented the way her body was contorted. The soft light from the night lamp next to one of the beds made her skin glisten just noticeably as if it were glowing. I could feel my eyes widen as I my brain finally added up the pieces of what I was seeing.

“Oh, hi Spence!” she said gleefully turning her head towards mine, “I was feeling a little tense after sitting in that conference room all day. I hope you don’t mind.”

I didn’t even bother to attempt to talk, I could feel how dry my throat was and how my lips would not listen to any command I would’ve given it. So I just shook my head and pulled my eyes away from her as she moved her upper body towards the floor, holding herself up by her ellbows. I walked towards the beds in her general direction trying not to notice how gorgeous her ass looked now that her body was turned away from me. That I even had that thought surprised me and caused a blush to rise to my cheeks. I was thankful that she couldn’t see my face in that moment as I loosened up my tie. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, my attention drifted back to the song.

“Don't know how to love me good

So I'm never going back”

There was nothing in that moment that could keep me sane. My wildest dreams could have not come up with this scenario. It felt utterly unreal.

As the song ended I saw her change positions again from my peripheral vision.

“You’re awfully quiet today,” she said while turning the music down.

I noticed panic begin to fill my brain. She wanted to have a conversation.

“I um- it’s been kind of a long day,” I said and cleared my throat, while deciding whether or not it would be a good idea to turn around towards her.

“Have you been at the station the whole time? You must be exhausted,” she responded and continued when I didn’t answer, “I thought you could show me that show you’ve been gushing about.”

How was this real life? My brain began to lose control of my executive functions as my body turned around to face her. She was now sitting on the floor, legs stretched out in front of her, her hands wrapped around her feet as she looked up at me. The low-cut top she was wearing gave me a perfect sight into the curves of her-

I dared not continue that line of thought, already flustered enough as it is.

“Really? You’d be interested in watching that?” I said and blinked.

Her lips spread into a smile, twinkling her eyes, “Yeah, of course. The way you described it makes me really curious.”

“We could watch an episode or two before going to sleep, if you want.”

I just had to take this chance. Even if I could only begin to have a friendship with her, I wanted to be close to her because for some odd reason, I couldn’t bear to admire her from afar.

So not long after, I was setting up the odd hotel room tv to watch the show. It took me the entirety of her taking a shower so that I was only standing back up when she was walking out of the small bathroom in a white bathrobe and a towel wrapped around her head. She smiled up at me as she walked past me, her hand brushing my arm so casually that I questioned whether it actually happened. 

I hesitated again before sitting down on the bed. Was she going to get dressed in front of me? Because no matter how much my amygdala wanted me to see that, my frontal cortex wasn’t going to allow it. I forced myself to look through my satchel in an attempt to find a distraction as I waited for her next move. But luckily, she didn’t tempt my brain too much into overdrive.

I felt as if there was a higher power not willing to spare me for the night when she came out of the bathroom a second time, now something someone might call dressed. She was in a loose light coloured satin pyjama set that showed off her legs perfectly. And as if that were not enough to torture me for the night, she joined me on my twin bed with her bag of chips.

“I hope that’s okay with you, then we can share snacks,” she said so innocently that I almost believed it. But I could still hear the song ringing in my ears and I noticed her eyes take a short glance down at my lips as she said it. I was almost convinced that I wasn’t imagining things.

What really sealed the deal was that I noticed her scoot a tiny bit closer to me every once in a while. At first I could only feel the warmth she radiated, but after about 30 minutes I felt the bare skin of her arm against mine. My breath quickened, which I was sure she had noticed.

I knew the episode off by heart. Which was to my advantage because then my brain could run in a speed that I could barely follow. I tried my hardest to calm down a little bit, which was hard when I could feel the movement of her body as a whole-hearted laugh filled her throat.

“Y/N,” I whispered with all my courage. It was so low that I almost thought she wouldn’t hear it, but she turned her head towards me her eyes following a few seconds after.

Her eyes met mine and it was like I could feel my neurons firing electrical signals throughout my entire body. And just like that, in one swift movement she had grabbed my face by the back of my head and pulled me into her lips.

That was the first time that night that my muscles began to relax as I eased into the sensation of her soft lips moving against mine. It was as though I was beginning to lose myself in the kiss, all insecurities about her feelings towards me or my inexperience gone.

When she ultimately pulled away and rested her forehead against mine, we were both panting gently. My whole body felt warm with the feeling of her breath on my skin and her hands still in my hair. I didn’t dare open my eyes, still afraid that I would wake up from this idyllical dream.

We both didn’t know what to say as we pulled away further and looked at each other. I wanted to say something, to let her know how I felt, but once again, my brain did not follow my commands.

“Did you know when you kiss someone for the first time it causes your dopamine levels to increase for a short period of time? It also makes your heart rate and the oxygen supply to your brain to raise,” I heard my voice say in something between a whisper and my normal talking voice.

“For the first time, huh?” she grinned a little at me.

I reached for her hand and gently took it in mine. I moved her palm over my shirt to the centre of my chest. I could feel my heart race through her hands and I know she could feel it too. She looked up into my eyes again with a look on her face that told me all I needed to know.

[persephones-wren]

Hello! may i request a c!revivebur who’s walking around the server and sees his (now ex) partner for the first time since he died and he apologizes to them for how he treated them in pogtopia and they just like walk around and catch up please? love your writing!! don’t worry if this gets rejected or you don’t feel inspired i know how it feels!

Hope (c!Revivedbur x Reader)

apologies if it's a bit out of character, it's been a while since I've written anything for the DSMP :) but thank you for my first request from there! I hope you liked how it turned out!

Warnings: none? all lore is pretty outdated I think

Genre: fluff-ish

Word Count: 1220

Dawn breaks.

He stands there, watching the sunrise. His trench-coat feels heavy. The gloves on his hands feel scratchy, and he knows he keeps tightening them; a nervous habit. He’s going to betray them all. Whether they win or lose the final war, L’Manberg is going to go up in flames.

He’s not going to be there to see it all.

“You alright, Will?”

You stand beside him, on the cliff, and he knows that Tommy and Tubbo are probably somewhere behind him, watching over you both. He didn’t have his sanity anymore, but he was still in control enough to think of them and Niki, fighting for a false cause, watching over him, worried.

“Of course, love. Why wouldn’t I be?”

His voice is an odd, jubilant tone. It’s one he’s had for a while, the one he had when Tommy and Techno spared and he pushed them both, the one he had when referring to Dream.

You don’t know whether it’s happiness or madness.

“Wilbur Soot.”

“Y/N, I’m alright,” he sighs. He puts his arm around you. “We’re going to win L’Manberg back,” Lie. “and we’ll be able to have everything we once did.” Lie. “I’ll run the country again as it’s rightful leader,” Lie. “and it’ll be the place to build our future.” Lie.

“I don’t care about L’Manberg as much as I care about you,” you state. “Wilbur Soot, I love you. No matter what happens today,” you whisper, “That won’t change.”

How foolish you had been.

Philza had murdered him, a diamond sword straight through his chest, and the only thing that reassured you that it was what he wanted was the smile on his face. Your word never faltered, though. No matter what happens, you’d still love him.

You’re considering changing that sentiment as you go to visit the same cliff, and see someone already there. Occasionally, it’d be Niki there, or Tommy and Tubbo, sometimes even Ranboo. You’d talk to them, reminisce, or tell them bits of history. It always hurts your heart, but that’s what kept the dead alive, their stories.

It’s not any of them this time, though.

You scan the figure ahead of you. Tall, wearing a jacket, gauze and blood wrapped around his right arm. The height tells you it’s Ghostbur, but the dressing and the vibrant color in his hair tells you it’s his living counterpart.

It’s Wilbur. It’s Wilbur Soot, not Ghostbur.

You pinch at your wrist, but the slight sting tells you that it’s no dream.

Wilbur Soot stands a couple meters in front of you, alive. You want to run, away or toward him, you can’t be sure, but you’re rooted in place. He’s alive. The realization fills your heart with love, with fear- which era of Wilbur has he returned as? Is he the musician who made you swoon? Is he the revolutionary, the gentle and kind leader? Is he the man who spiraled into insanity, who blew up L’Manburg?

“Beautiful sunset, isn’t it?”

He knows there’s someone there. Who, he isn’t sure, but whoever it was, whether it was someone new or someone he had to make amends to- starting a conversation was the best way to find a window to apologize. Personal gains aside, there were a lot of people who deserved apologies from him.

Especially his love.

“It’s nice,” you say, cautious. “I haven’t really taken the time to look at another one since Doomsday.”

He turns toward you, shock in his expression and a hopeful glimmer in his eyes. Your hand rests on the hilt of your sword, and he frowns at that.

Did you think- didn’t you still have two lives? He’s not the man he was when he was last alive.

“Love-”

“Please don’t call me that,” you whisper.

“I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not the person who blew up L’Manberg.” He takes note of the way your expression softens slightly, but your hand doesn’t move. “Darling, I’m unarmed. Why are you- how many lives are you on?”

“One.”

“One? I thought- What happened?”

“The L’Manberg explosion took my second one.”

He notices the way you say L’Manberg and not Doomsday. It was his doing.

He decides that he’s never going to forgive himself for it. Even if you do, he’s going to spend the rest of his life making it up to you.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he says, and strides towards you, throwing his arms around you. “I’m so sorry.”

There’s a small silence, before you speak. “I’m getting over it,” you mutter into his shoulder. “All I have to do is avoid conflict. It can’t be the hardest thing in the world.”

“It’s difficult here.” His concern makes you feel warm. Maybe death has changed him. You hope death has changed him.

“I know,” you respond quietly. Avoiding problems never was the strong suit of anyone on the SMP.

“I’ll find a way to beat death for you.”

You laugh a little, and reach your hand up to ruffle his hair. “Of course you’d find a way. You’re always pushing for change.”

“Especially if it helps the people I love.”

You don’t get a moment to reflect on his words before he’s reaching for your hand, interlocking it with his. You both walk, side by side, throughout the SMP.

“A lot has changed,” he remarks.

“Yeah. A lot has.”

Care to tell me what’s been happening around here?”

“Do you have any memories from Ghostbur?”

“Oh, him,” Wilbur frowns at that. His ghost had been way too positive, quite odd, to be honest. Perhaps he felt the tiniest bit guilty that Ghostbur was stuck in the personal hell that was Jubilee Line, but if it meant he got to live, he would make the same decision again, to board the train Dream had sent out for him.

You’re still staring at him, and he gives you an apologetic smile. “Sorry, zoned out there. I don’t exactly have many memories, but they’re coming back to me, little by little.”

“We rebuilt L’Manberg, before Tommy was exiled. You left with him, as Ghostbur. I don’t exactly know what happened there, but-” you sigh. “It must have been hell. Tommy never really recovered, I don’t think. Tubbo forbade any of us to visit, he said it was too dangerous to confront Dream head on.”

“I remember that,” Wilbur says quietly. “If I were to see Dream again, I’d strike him down where he stood.”

“He’s in prison now, thankfully. I’d say he’s getting what he deserves.”

He decides not to mention how Dream was the one who brought him to life.

You both finally stop at the ruins of L’Manberg, staring down into the glass-covered crater. It’s a swirl of memories, a tangle of old times, a harsh reminder of the past.

“We should look towards the future,” Wilbur speaks. His eyes are focused on the bright of the moon, and the glimmer of the stars above both of you. “A future together,” he adds. He kisses the top of your head and puts his hand around your waist, cautious, but you make no move to stop him. Even if he’s not the same, he’s close to the man you once knew.

You find the constellation he’s looking at, and smile slightly.

Canis Major.

A future together.

Hope.

[volturiwolf]

The Volturi Princess - A Felix Volturi x fem!Reader Story (part 1)

A/N: This is the first Volturi- and Twilight-related story I ever started writing and it is quite long and elaborated/complex, as I tend to overanalyze in many parts. I have wrote a few parts until now and I'll be uploading them in the future. I have been quite emotional throughout writing it, trying to understand the reader's point of view.

A/N 2: I'm sorry if something doesn't make sense. English is not my first language. I also include Italian through the story, with translation, but I'm not a native or a speaker, so I'd like to apologize in advance to those who speak Italian. Enjoy :)

A/N 3: According to "The Amagi" on Youtube, Felix was born in 250 BC (their thumbnail), so I used that in my story.

No of Words: about 5347

Mentions of: Abandonment, Abortion, Anxiety, Blood, Bruises, Coma/Comatosed State, Death Emotional Abuse, Emotional and Physical Pain, Gaslighting, Greece/Greek Language - with translation, Heartbreak, Italian Language - with translation, Manipulation, Murder, Pain, Panic Attacks, Pregnancy, Suffering, Suicide/Suicidal Thoughts, Swear Language, Throwing Up/Puking, Witches/Wizards/Witchcraft

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My heart felt heavy. I may have just escaped the cruelest vampire of all, but I also ran away from the love of my life, my mate, the only person who could fully understand me in this world. I asked him to run away with me, but, although our bond was strong, he felt obliged to stay loyal to his master, his creator. I drove as fast as I could, away from the sunny Volterra, and away from him.

-------------------------------------------------------

(Y/N) grew up quite privileged, in Vampire terms. Being born into the Volturi coven was something many vampires could only dream about. (Y/N) was abandoned by her parents when she was a baby, but Aro, one of the three Volturi leaders, took her under his protection, and offered her more things than she could ever have imagined. After all, she was his only biological granddaughter, the “Volturi princess”, an heiress to the throne; her mother lost that “privilege” when she met and fell in love with a wizard.

(Y/N)’s mother soon got pregnant with her, and then later turned her husband into a vampire to help her with her pregnancy, and stay together forever. However, (Y/N)’s parents couldn’t raise her because they wanted to run free and careless, not commit to anything permanent, so Aro took over and raised his granddaughter with the highest honors and privileges, “as a princess should be raised”.

(Y/N) was a mix of Vampire, Witch and Human, due to the grandmother, Sulpicia, being human when Aro found her; Sulpicia later fell pregnant with (Y/N)’s mother, and Aro transformed her to vampire, as he had planned all along. Aro raised (Y/N) according to his own rules and morals, teaching her how to kill humans to feed from, how to attack and slip away from her opponents, how to lead other vampires, and most importantly, how to keep her identity and existence a secret, not only to humans, but other non-Volturi vampires as well. No one could know that there was a possibility of a vampire having a child with a human, and that the child could be effectively controlled and raised as a regular vampire.

As (Y/N) grew older and older, reaching the human age of 25 within 7 years of her birth, Aro would spend more and more time with her, examining and studying her possibilities and her potential powers’ development. (Y/N) grew up to be extremely strong and fast, an excellent tracker with great intelligence and understanding of the world around her. However, Aro could not risk sending her to “Volturi duties”. She was his hope for a stronger coven; with (Y/N) in the throne, Aro felt like he could conquer the vampire world with ease.

That’s why he was always searching for the best guards he could find, to protect the coven and do his work instead of himself, Caius, or (Y/N). He couldn’t rely on Marcus, as he proved to be too emotional since Didyme died, but was still valuable for his plan. Caius, on the other hand, although powerless, was far more sadistic and “diligent” in following vampire rules, and (Y/N)... (Y/N) was just too obedient, following every order Aro gave her - a strong asset for the Volturi.

Aro was changing guards and trackers quite easily, disposing them when they were no longer needed or when he found better ones. He needed talented and strong vampires to serve the coven and do their work.

Chelsea was the very first vampire Aro created solely to serve the Volturi, after recognizing her potential when she was human. Chelsea’s gift of relationship manipulation was truly useful in bringing new vampires into the coven and was used thousands of times during Volturi's reign. It could also easily dispose of them, making their bonds with other vampires break at will; those vampires were isolated by the other vampires and then killed - Aro couldn’t risk letting them get away knowing the Volturi’s secrets and life.

About 100 years later, Corin joined the Volturi, just a couple decades after (Y/N)’s birth. Corin’s gift of addictive contentment was the one which kept Marcus in the Volturi after Didyme’s death - along with Chelsea’s to make him committed to Aro’s greater plans, and was also used on Sulpicia, Athenadora and any other vampire in the Volturi guard to keep them satisfied being in the Volturi. Under Aro’s instructions, Corin was keeping Chelsea content with being in the Volturi, and Chelsea was keeping Corin loyal to them, each of them using their gifts against each other, without their knowledge.

Sometime between 230 and 220 BC, while travelling in Rome, searching for additional vampires to add to the coven, Aro supposedly met a young, strong and ambitious fighter, who wished to become a gladiator one day, named Felix. Felix did not only look, but also was physically capable of fighting even with beasts, during his short time as a fighter, way before the Colosseum was built. Born into a poor family, his strength was his only way of making money, and becoming a gladiator was his only way out of poverty, a way to provide for both his family and himself.

When his family was almost imprisoned by Roman army officers for outstanding debts, Felix was forced to make a deal with them to fight, in whatever they ordered him to. Fighting turned out to be the only way for Felix to deal with his emotions and rage towards people in power. When Aro approached Felix, he was promised a good life, where he wouldn’t have to worry about surviving another day. Felix did not seem willing enough, not being fond of the idea of serving people in power, who he so despised.

Luckily for Aro, Chelsea was the one who “convinced” Felix to join the Volturi guard, with Aro changing him afterwards. Unlike previous guards, Felix showed impeccable strength, speed and talent towards both dodging and initiating attacks, eventually making him a permanent member in the Volturi Guard, along with Chelsea and Corin.

Felix was assigned as the leading guard for the three kings’ protection, this role extending to the protection of their two wives and (Y/N); though Aro knew that, if it came to anyone attacking his granddaughter, she would be able to handle it by herself. However, he still wanted to make sure that she was safe and that Aro would do anything to protect her.

For about a couple millennias, (Y/N) was content with her situation, being the “Volturi princess” and all that. Besides, having Felix in the Volturi was another reason to stay in the coven, apart from staying loyal and true to Aro for taking her in, when she was abandoned.

Every time Felix looked into her eyes, she felt her whole body burn - though, it wasn’t a feeling of suffering, rather a feeling of longing, waiting for something to happen so badly that her body couldn’t control itself. Although she was partially a vampire, (Y/N) would feel like she couldn’t breathe, like her legs were ready to give up on her, like she wanted to grab Felix and never let go.

Felix, although not admitting it even to himself, would feel the same way, but he knew that his position would not allow him to approach (Y/N) in such a way. He was just a guard - although he was the strongest of them all, and she was the Volturi princess, one of his masters, whom he was only allowed to approach in order to protect. He didn’t want Aro to know he saw his granddaughter like that; it could cost him his position in the guard, or even his life. So, he kept these feelings deep within him, not allowing them to resurface, or act upon them.

However, every time these two existed at the same place, the invisible sparks between them would fly left and right. And only one vampire was able to see them. One who hadn’t felt these sparks in centuries.

--------------------------------------------------------

(Y/N)’s POV:

I yawned loudly as I woke from a long, much needed sleep. I was the only vampire around who was able to sleep, mostly due to my non-vampire natures. I didn't really need to sleep on a regular basis, but when I did, I could literally sleep 3 days straight and nobody would be able to wake me up. “For my own protection”, as Aro said, I would always have at least two guards outside of my room’s door, in case anything happened while I was sleeping. Like what could even happen? My room was at the furthest side of this huge castle. I’m pretty sure that if there ever was an attack against the Volturi, it would most probably have been dealt with immediately, and the attacker wouldn’t make it anywhere near my room.

I felt the warm sun on my skin, slightly glowing and sparkling beautifully. My eyes, mostly (Y/E/C) with a golden ring around the pupil, could easily adjust to the light. Unlike the other vampires, I could easily live among humans; I could sleep, eat human food, my skin not being as sparkly as others, and I could control my thirst far better than others.

Since Jane and Alec joined the coven, Aro would show an immense interest in them and their skills, helping them train daily and develop their powers further, eventually forgetting about me. I would spend more and more days away from the castle, “protected” by my anonymity, getting to know humans more and more. The longer I was observing them, the more they would trigger my interest in them. They could feel true emotions, real pain, real hurt, real love. They had their families, they received an unconditional love that I could never have.

Unbeknownst to Aro or anyone else for that matter, I have started developing new powers, similar to the other vampires in the Volturi coven or anyone else outside of it. I have also started noticing that I may have an immunity towards others’ talents, feeling that neither Corin’s addictive contentment made me satisfied with being in the Volturi, nor Chelsea’s relationship manipulation could keep me loyal to Aro anymore. If it weren’t for Felix, or Demetri and the Twins, who have all become my best friends by now, I would have probably left.

A vampire named Carlisle Cullen had visited the Volturi and stayed with us for a while, about 100 years ago. He saw the way the Volturi treated humans like they were nothing, and how they were as cruel as to kill other vampires, with the excuse that they were exposing our kind with the way they lived. Entire covens had been wiped out due to such excuses, a way to eliminate potential enemies from becoming too powerful and find as many talented vampires as possible and force them to join the Volturi.

Carlisle was talking about a new way of life, where vampires wouldn’t have to kill humans to survive, a life where vampires and humans could live in peace, without harming each other. He was insisting that vampires could survive on animal blood just as efficiently as with human blood; that animal blood would not make them weaker, and that it would be a much more ethical and sustainable way to feed.

Of course, Aro and Caius were the first ones to mock his proposition, clearly not caring about humans’ feelings and pain. Marcus did not budge at all, his heartache making him indifferent to anything around him. But I was growing more and more interested in this alternative way of life; I was, after all, feeding on human food already, so that I was feeding on human blood as little as I could.

It was a few years after Carlisle left Volterra that Eleazar joined the Volturi. Aro forced him to join after finding out he could detect if someone had any special ability. Aro considered his gift useful in identifying if any of his enemies had any special power when in battles, or when he sent Eleazar around the world to recruit talented vampires.

Eleazar was clearly not liking the way the Volturi forced their ways and wants on others, and how they could take advantage of others for their own benefit. I could just sense that he was displeased and was forcing himself to stay in the coven, one, due to Corin’s and Chelsea’s gifts, and two, out of fear of what could happen to him and his mate, Carmen.

Carmen, a vampire from Spain, like Eleazar, met with Eleazar while he was a guard here, they fell in love, and eventually, Eleazar decided to leave the Volturi and run away with Carmen. Aro decided that he did not care about him and his gift as much as others’, so he let him go unharmed, “blessing” them for safe travels.

Just a few days before he left, I consulted him on my own powers. Though a lower member of the guard, Eleazar had his own room, a decent place to stay, and spend his endless hours in. I knocked slightly on the door.

“Come in”, a calm voice was heard. I opened the door and came into his room. Carmen was sitting on the edge of their bed and Eleazar was reading a book on his desk. They both smiled sweetly. I just felt and knew they were too nice to fit anywhere in here, among the cruel and strict Volturi.

“(Y/N)! So nice to see you!”Carmen exclaimed and stood to hug me. The second we hugged I started seeing parts of her life in Spain, the calm waters of Catalunya, the vast vineyards where she would spend the early years of her life… I quickly detached myself from her embrace. I just couldn’t invade her privacy like that. She and Eleazar both looked at me worried, as if I had offended them.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t let you “show” me your whole life like that!” I looked at Carmen apologetically.

“(Y/N), you saw Carmen’s life?” Eleazar continued, intrigued by my words.

“That’s why I came to talk to you. I..I feel like I’ve been developing a gift, or a few gifts, to be completely honest. And I feel like.. like I have a specific power one day, and another power the next!” I stated frantically.

It was the first time I have openly talked about my powers to anyone, and I was shaking just by the words that came out of my mouth. Eleazar did not say anything, he just stood there for a few minutes, I supposed “examining” me, as if a doctor checking on a patient.

“Remarkable.” He said calmly. He looked at his mate with excitement, as if he just discovered a lost treasure. “(Y/N) has one of the most remarkable gifts I have ever seen.” He then turned to me. “You, (Y/N), are able to copy anyone else’s gifts and keep them as your own. You don’t even have to be in contact with them. Just by meeting someone, you can obtain their powers. I have never met anyone like that. You also seem to have obtained immunity to others’ powers, kind of like a shield. I have met such vampires before. From the stories Aro has been telling, your mother was like that. It is likely that you copied that gift for her. Such vampires are extremely useful to themselves or even others, in battles. Like themselves, you can use your gift to protect others from others’ powers, beside yourself.”

That came too sudden to my ears. I have assumed that I may have at least one power, but I didn’t realise I could copy others’ powers. That is why I was showing signs of Aro’s power!

“How can I train my powers? Eleazar! Carmen! You have to help me!”

“As you know, we will be leaving soon. I don’t know if there will be enough time to train you.”

“It’s okay. We will train as much as you want. Please, Eleazar! Please, Carmen!” I started begging them. As if they were hypnotized, they quickly looked at each other and agreed to help me.

The next few days, before Eleazar and Carmen’s departure, included intense training, far away from Volterra, deep in the woods, where no human could interrupt us. I couldn’t say the same for vampires, but I hoped nobody would cross paths with us. Eleazar and Carmen helped me develop my self-control and self-awareness, concentrating through the deepest parts of my mind, resurfacing my shield and expanding it beyond my existence. I started to have control over it, as if it was an actual solid substance, a veil floating around me towards any direction I ordered it to go.

After Eleazar and Carmen left, I started travelling the world more, trying to copy as many powers as I could come across with, while also training my shield. My excitement for the endless possibilities was what kept me going - kind of when Aro would add another talented vampire to his Guard. His Guard. Felix. I wonder how he was. I hadn’t seen him in a while. I wondered if he thought of me like I thought of him.

After travelling pretty much anywhere I could reach, I eventually went back to where it all started: I went to Greece. Aro met Sulpicia here, apparently my mom met my dad here. Maybe I could find out, understand why they left me. I have never met them, but I felt as if my tracking skills could detect them through my own existence.

I started travelling through the country, hoping that they stayed here or, at least, that they’re alive. I spent about 2 or 3 years in Greece, trying to take in every different place, while also avoiding the battles that seemed to take place in every other corner. I was feeding off animals mainly, mostly when I couldn’t find any other human food. I was washing myself in rivers, streams, whatever I could find.

I was stopping by any village that seemed to be still standing, asking about the current situation. The Greek Revolution, which started a few years ago, seemed to still be going on. The Ottomans, who had been occupying Greece for almost 400 years, could not allow Greeks to turn against them and start claiming their rights within the Ottoman Empire.

Many Greeks I met and talked to, admitted that some of the Ottomans were actually being nice to them; it was only the Ottoman government ordering their armies to execute massive massacres against Greeks, and after all this time, a few Greeks started gathering up and planning a revolution, away from Greece, in fear of being caught. They started getting organized and finding possible allies to help them with the Revolution; they just couldn’t risk getting caught within the country that they were hoping the independent Greece could become. The battles were becoming more and more intense, both on the mainland, as well as on the islands.

I started looking for answers, anything that could suggest that my parents were still alive and somewhere in Greece. To my surprise, I crossed paths with many Greek nomad vampires all over the country. They were also fighting against either Ottoman vampires or each other for territorial claims; however, they all talked me out of travelling north, towards Macedonia. The region had started being reclaimed back by Greek humans, but vampires were also seeing the potential for the area and they fought against each other for the land.

All of the nomads I encountered were talking about some of the most vicious vampires claiming the land, their enemies being literally slaughtered and burned to set an example for other vampires to back off their territory. I was intrigued, and I knew that, most probably, I would be able to deal with them or flee before they got to me.

So, I started travelling north, through the woods and mountains, in order to avoid any possible battle between humans, though many of them seemed to hide in the mountains, preparing for their battles. Macedonia was a quite big and vast region, so I had to travel quite a few days and search every possible corner.

I know I shouldn’t have done this, but I was feeling exhausted from all the searching. I haven’t fed in quite some time, and my throat was burning by the familiar need for blood. I haven’t seen any animals all these days, and I was wondering if they were gone or hiding.

Sadly, I came across a human. He seemed to be wounded, probably during a battle, his blood gushing out of his body. I couldn’t help myself, when I breathed in the smell, the burning sensation becoming unbearable. I thought of approaching him slowly, so as not to scare him, offering to help him, but deep down I just wanted to feed off of him.

“Γειά! Συγνώμη αν σε τρόμαξα. Σε είδα από μακριά. Μπορώ να σε βοηθήσω με κάποιο τρόπο; (Hey! Sorry if I scared you. I saw you from afar. Can I help you in any way?)” I offered calmly.

The man was trying to suppress his growls. I could sense his pain. I tried to help him stand on his feet, and then I saw all of his memories. He was in the army, fighting alongside Greeks against the Ottomans, in Macedonia, just outside of Thessaloniki. I didn’t even know I was so close to a city, let alone Thessaloniki.

He was trying to pass through the woods, when he came across what seemed to be two red-eyed vampires, one male and one female. They tried to attack him, but someone else managed to shoot him first, forcing the two vampires to run away. I don’t know how or why, these two felt familiar to me, I could feel that through his memories.

“Γειά! Μπορείς.. Μπορείς να πας στο κοντινότερο χωριό; Νομίζω.. Νομίζω ότι είδα κάτι στο δάσος, δε νομίζω ότι ήταν κάτι φυσιολογικό! Πρέπει.. Πρέπει να προειδοποιήσω τους άλλους! (Hey! Can.. Can you get me to the nearest village? I think.. I think I saw something in the woods, I don’t think it was something normal! I have.. I have to warn the others!)” He mumbled in between sharp shoots of pain.

“Με συγχωρείς πολύ! (I’m really sorry!)” I plead with guilty eyes. I put my hand in his wound, searching for the bullet, while he was consumed by pain. I took the bullet out of the wound, and quickly attached my lips on his skin, sucking the blood as fast as I could, biting deeply unintentionally. His screams were becoming louder and louder, so I covered his mouth with my hand, while trying to shut him up or break his jaw. A few seconds later, he stopped screaming, and I let his lifeless body fall, completely numb and drained out of blood.

I felt renewed, his blood travelling to every part of my body and giving me a new kind of strength that I haven’t felt in a while. I still felt guilty for killing him, but he was already wounded and I couldn’t risk him exposing our kind to others. I assumed that whoever found him - if anyone found him - would also assume that he died of blood loss, so I tried to position him in a realistic pose for that purpose, as best as I could. I left him there, and continued the search for my parents.

--------------------------------------------------------

I was running through the woods, trying to locate the two vampires from the guy’s memories. My mind was chaotic, I wasn’t thinking about something specific. I stopped in my tracks. What Aro taught me, and what I understood from Demetri’s tracking skills, is that you have to stop, take a breath and realize your position in the world. Then, you would be able to realize everything around you and find your targets. I have successfully found other vampires like that before, vampires who I have either met in person or smelled their scent, but I didn’t know if I could find someone through someone else’s memories of them.

I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate as best as I could, focusing on the smaller details of the guy’s memories of these vampires. I felt two vampires running on my west, about 10 kilometers away, and I ran after them. They were running fast, but I was way faster. Within a minute or two, I was running right behind their tracks. They must have realized that a stranger was following them, but, instead of running, they suddenly stopped. I stopped as well, and we were now facing each other.

The female had long, brunette, curly hair, and the male short, dark brown, straight hair; both of their hair looked shiny, healthy, and rich. They were of average height and their eyes were piercing red, as if they also fed quite recently. The female was exceptionally beautiful and enchanting; I could only compare her to Heidi’s exceptional beauty. The male looked quite stoic and austere, though still beautiful.

Both of them on defensive positions, waiting for me to attack. I wasn’t planning to move any further from my position; I was only waiting for their own reactions. I felt that kind of a burning sensation within me again, like a feeling buried deep inside me, trying to find an escape.

Suddenly, the male growled at me, flames springing out of his hands, and being thrown at me. I felt my heart fall out of my chest, fearing that this would be my end. As if my body reacted on its own, I felt my own shield extending out of my body, building a wall around me and protecting me from the male’s attack. My hands started burning and flames came out, ready to counterattack the male. The male looked at the female, dumbfounded by what he witnessed, still in a defensive position, but ready to attack again.

“I’M NOT HERE TO FIGHT YOU!” I shouted at both of them. “I’M JUST SEARCHING FOR SOMEONE!”

The male shrinked back, the female following close by. “Who are you looking for? We haven’t seen you around. Who are you? Why are you here?” The male requested. His voice serious, but smooth at the same time; a voice I could only describe as the warm earth below their bare feet.

“No, I’m not. I come from Italy, though I think I was born around here. My name is (Y/N), I’m looking for my parents. I don’t quite remember what they look like, but I’m pretty sure that they lived around here. They abandoned me when I was a baby.”

“This has been our territory for almost 3 millennials! We would have known if any humans abandoned their offspring around here!” The female exclaimed, as if she didn’t believe a word I said. I didn’t want to tell them the whole story, but I had to show them that I didn’t mean to fight in any way.

“I never said they were humans. My mother was actually sort of a vampire, like you.”

The female started letting her guards down. “What do you mean sort of? I’ve never heard of a “sort of vampire” before!” She continued doubtfully.

“Believe me or don’t, my mother was born half vampire, half human. My dad wasn’t even a vampire before she met him. He wasn’t even human to be honest.” My eyes started stinging slightly. I could have had a good, happy life if they didn’t abandon me. I wouldn’t have to grow up with Aro.

“You said you were from Italy.” I nodded at the male, as he continued. “You never said where exactly.”

I wasn’t sure if I should tell them my real origin; I wouldn’t like them to know I was a Volturi, but I knew I needed help to find my parents. If they were actually here as long as they say, they might have known or met my parents at some point.

“Volterra. I was born here, in Greece, like my mother, but grew up in Volterra with my grandparents.” I looked down, kind of scared, kind of anxious, waiting for their next move.

The female gasped. “Are you a Volturi?!” I looked at her, straight in the eyes, swallowed, and nodded. “I know the Volturi. Who are your grandparents?”

“Aro and Sulpicia.” I answered so quietly that, if they weren’t vampires, they wouldn’t have heard me, my voice trembling slightly.

The female suddenly fell on her knees, the male wrapping his arms around her, comforting her. I didn’t know what was going on. Did I say something wrong? Were they scared? The sheer mention of the Volturi would scare a lot of vampires, but I thought that maybe these two seemed strong enough to deal with them.

The female started sobbing, no tears coming out of her red eyes, her body shaking. I felt something within me break. I felt that I didn’t want to upset them, that’s why I was hesitant in telling them who I really was. The male looked at me, pain in his eyes. I saw a familiar look. I saw me in his eyes, what I looked at in my mirror anytime I was thinking about my parents, or, sometimes, when I thought of Felix.

“Are you a half witch?” The male asked quietly. Something snapped in me. How would he know that?

“I swear, I didn’t do anything to your mate! I DIDN’T!” I shouted at the male. I didn’t want him to think that I would hurt his mate, or himself.

“I know you wouldn’t. It’s just..” He looked at his mate who had stopped sobbing, but was still down on her knees, unable to stand up. “..my mate is Aro and Sulpicia Volturi’s only daughter.”

My body tensed and shivered. If that woman is the only daughter Aro and Sulpicia ever had...could that mean..?

I took a few steps back. “AM I YOUR DAUGHTER? ARE YOU MY PARENTS?” I looked at them in disbelief.

Those were the people who abandoned me! That let me grow parentless, under Aro’s rules and directions! I was breathing heavily, in between sobs. I didn’t even realize that I set my whole body ablaze, until both vampires looked at me shocked. I didn’t feel any pain, but I couldn’t stop the flames licking my body, and in my frantic state, I started panicking even more.

The male started approaching me slowly, trying to not scare me away. “Shush, shush. You’re okay. You’re doing okay. I know how it feels at first. You’re experiencing some aspects of the life as a witch. It’s okay. Close your eyes and picture the flames in your head.” I closed my eyes and tried concentrating on the flames. “Now, imagine them burning out, becoming smaller and weaker.” I focused on the flames, imagining them weakening. After a few minutes, I felt them getting smaller and smaller, and finally disappearing. I opened my eyes slowly.

The female was standing next to the male, watching me carefully. In a quick motion, she pulled me and embraced me, stroking my hair lightly. I breathed in her scent, a mix of mountain flowers and the saltiness of the sea. Her touch was soft, and filled me up with what felt like a thousand different emotions.

But, I mostly felt safe. It was the first time in my life that I actually felt this safe. And whole. I felt like I actually belonged somewhere. I hugged her back. Tears started spilling from my eyes. That was my mom! That was actually my mom! After all this time, we were finally together. I felt the male, my dad, hugging both of us, and in that moment, I felt my legs giving up on me, and I finally fell into a long sleep.

[virghogh]

NCT Dream Birth Charts x Hexaco Results Analysis pt. 1

recently NCT Dream were on a new reality show called Mental Training Camp where they are doing a variety of activities and all of their behavior and interactions are being analyzed by professional psychologists.

ofc my virgo sun mercury ass was thrilled and I had their birth charts pulled up the whole time to cross reference.

I wanted to share some of my personal thoughts on how the 2 might connect!

part 1 // part 2 // part 3

**key: in the hexaco charts the blue represents the Dreamies, the orange is an average result of 300 college students who took the same test**

Mark - “Workaholic Leader”

✨leo sun // aries moon // cancer mercury // virgo venus // scorpio mars✨

they described him as a workaholic leader but quickly added that if he’s not now, he has potential to be in the future, although it seemed they all agreed he has workaholic spirit now 

this immediately made sense to me when you look at his chart i mean he’s being driven by a fire sun and moon and a scorpio mars (used to be ruled by mars) and virgo venus both of which are signs that have strong work ethics

the reason I like that they mentioned he could grow into it is because he’s still young and I agree that his placements could become more serious about work and life as he gets older, I think his leo sun/aries moon combo gives him very youthful energy but they’re still very driven signs

mark agreed that even throughout his trainee years when he was still very young, he was always practicing and was always called a workaholic. I see this in the intense drive, work ethic and perfectionism of virgo and scorpio but shining through with the warmth of his sun and moon

lets talk about this hexaco chart, what sticks out the most is Mark’s level of conscientiousness! (its so high like what even-) Conscientious people are careful, precise, detail oriented and in general care about doing their tasks well. I think this is directly connected to his scorpio mars! I always say that no matter what is in a chart, having a scorpio in big 6 will always have a strong influence and with a virgo venus, even though venus is considered a love planet it is also our value system, how we discern what is worthy and unworthy for us, and having virgo there makes him very practical. (as I mentioned though I think all of his placements together reflect a very driven person) (I also think mark is lucky to have a fire moon because if he had a water or earth I think his obsession and perfectionism of scorpio and virgo would make him d*pressed or too hard on himself) 

his virgo venus could even be why when they did the bag check they saw he’s quite “frugal” or practical and minimalist in the things he carries around. When you think about Venus, I mentioned it’s our values it’s also our aesthetics and it rules Taurus a materialistic sign, having virgo there gives me the impression of someone who is practical with their belongings, as we saw. 

We’ll see later in the post that there are a few Hexaco charts that I felt were a little unexpected but Marks imo was sooo spot on with his placements. With a fire sun and moon he’s very warm and open and has firey emotions. he’s not afraid to show them or be reactive and responsive (emotionality)! I think his honesty-humility reflects this too, he’s not too overly or underly honest, he’s just straightforward what you see is what you get and he answers in such a way too. His emotionality reflects the cancer mercury, the rashness of aries moon, and sensitivity of scorpio mars. 

tdlr; the human embodiment of driven, focused and hard working when it comes to his craft, but he loves to have fun in his outside life, and is practical in his inside life <3 his hexaco and birth chart align nicely

Jeno - “A scholar who gets hurt easily”

✨taurus sun // sagittarius moon // aries mercury // aries venus // taurus mars✨

so right off the bat I’m very curious where the scholar part comes in ?? They didn’t really reference it again in that way but I’m assuming they mean he’s very diplomatic? Defcon rephrased it as “you get miffed but well-mannered” 

a recurring comment was that he gets annoyed easily but doesn’t show it, I thought that was really funny because I feel like it reflects his aries influence well; being a little hot-headed but he has the patience of his taurus sun and mars to filter it :’) 

they talked a lot about how he gets hurt easily and mark even shared a cute lil story that practically had me on the floor because i just think it shows his taurus sooooo much I’d really love to have his house placements one day I’m really curious where his taurus is

if you didn’t see the episode basically mark said one time Jeno was passing some seniors in a building and said hi but they didn’t say hi back ): and just ignored him. Mark said Jeno was really hurt by that and went on about it for a long time saying stuff like “I’m sure they saw me” )): but he never expressed/acted on that hurt. taurus is represented by the bull so they do have a fierce side to them but imo i think taurus can be a really gentle/relaxed sign too; taurus mars is a slow to be angry slow to react placement, and one of the things taurus is well-known for is being fixed, stubborn, holding grudges which explains why that moment hurt and he held on to it. Jeno even agreed he tends to hold in a lot of his feelings and remembers little things that hurt him for a long time!

speaking of his taurus... they had a whole baseball analogy for the group saying that Jeno is a strong catcher, you can have a good pitcher but without a strong catcher the team would fall apart. They also mentioned a lot about Jeno not being in the spotlight, he doesn’t stand out, but he silently strengthens the team. And if that isn’t the most taurus description you’ve ever heard.,,,

I’ve been talking about his taurus a lot but at one point they said Jeno has a strong perfectionist side but he’s also very flexible and it’s difficult to have both. I personally see this a lot in his Sag moon (mutable) in contrast to his taurus placements (fixed). Sag moon to me always seem happy go lucky, if emotions come they go quickly too, mutable gives him that flexibility because they just like when things can change freely. It’s ruled by jupiter and I feel a common theme with sag in big 6 is it’s easy for people to be drawn to their jupiter qualities. They give the same freedom they crave, they can be very easy going and positive. Similar to mark, I also think it helps Jeno to have this moon sign over another! 

as for the hexaco, I’ll be honest the level of introvertness/shyness was a little surprising from an astrology stand point. When we see Jeno in all the NCT content I feel like it’s obvious he is on the shy side but if I was looking at only his chart, I don’t think I was expect it to be to the extent of the hexaco chart! (plss i need his birth time) in the same thread, his emotionality is really low and I can’t say I’m surprised from an astrology view😅 it’s not that he’s not compassionate or anything because he does care a lot about not upsetting people, but as we saw he is not very reactive and receptive emotionally ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  his openness is low too which fits what we’ve talked about above about his lack of reaction/expression of emotions, I feel like sag moons also don’t dwell especially with no water placements. 

The honesty and humility makes a lot of sense to me because i feel like taurus, aries and sag(!) are very righteous signs too! They care about integrity, they certainly might have their own idea of what is truth,.. but whatever it is, they believe in it! 

last note I want to make is on the whole “jeno isn’t funny” bit since they mentioned it. He said it hurt his ego when they first started the joke but it’s been going on for so long that I think he adapted to being able to take it as just that, a joke! It’s also funny to me that it started in the first place because earth signs are often called boring (it’s okay I’m an earth sign too lol) and I also have sag influence and I know people find me quite funny but I never try to be funny and it usually comes after my earth walls are down with close friends. 

tdlr; doesn’t ask or need spot light, gets annoyed easily but it doesn’t last, when something does hurt he remembers, slow or unlikely to be reactive and responsive, positive, comfort creature, loyal🥺

Chenle - “Friendly Guardian”

✨Sagittarius sun // Aquarius moon // scorpio mercury // scorpio venus // aquarius mars✨

there is something about chenle’s personality that I’ve always loved, he comes off as very warm, care-free, curious, friendly, caring. I like the personality title they gave him because I think it sums him up well. The members had all laughed when they saw it and enthusiastically agreed.  I also love his hexaco chart and think it reflects him really well, with most of it being just outside of the average :’) as far as how it reflects his birth chart, let’s get into it

I do want to disclaim that Chenle was born on the sag/scorpio cusp and to be a sag he would have had to be born after 3pm (!) but I think we would all agree he’s definitely a sagittarius sun anyways

Before this show when I watch nct dream content it always fascinated me how easy going chenle was in chaotic situations, he never seems too demanding or controlling, and sometimes i wondered if he was holding back for the cameras and was actually really frustrated but based off the hexaco it seems like he is actually just that agreeable, from looking at just his chart I don’t know if I would have guessed his agreeableness was that far. I know sag suns can be very easy going and aquarius is a more chilled sign but he has 2 aquarius and 2 scorpio placements they’re both fixed signs and quite like to be in control😅 (can we get a birth time pls) 

One argument could be the combination of sag sun with aquarius moon, since we have to look at all of it together. it does give me the impression of someone more easy-going possibly because there is the comfort of confidence! I feel like sag sun/aqua moon + mars would give someone a high opinion of themself (go chenle). this combination could create someone who is easy going because they don’t dwell and aren’t emotionally fueled nor do they fret over people that are. I’d say easy-going or maybe even just cool headed? He’s always laughing things off too, showing he doesn’t take himself too seriously! 

Speaking of taking things seriously, I think we can see this in the conscientious part of the hexaco, it was the lowest and I think it can be explained by what I mentioned above. It’s not that he isn’t driven or doesn’t work hard, he’s a full time idol they all work hard but I think it represents that work isn’t the focus of his life but rather people, connection, community, and just being happy is? 

they talked about how Chenle is the type of person that you meet and already feel like you’re friends. He could be the youngest in the room and talk down to you and you wouldn’t even think twice. This is huuuuge aquarius energy! I remember one of the first things I learned about aquarius was that they make friends everywhere. They talk to a stranger on the street for directions and next thing you know they’re “friends”

I also want to add that they mention he’s friendly but he gives off “big brother vibes” i feel like we’ve all seen that in other nct content too and would agree. This is interesting to me because sag and aquarius is not the same kind of friendliness as we see with marks leo sun aries moon. Leo and aries are “younger” signs, whereas aquas and sagittarius are towards the end of the signs, they’re considered “mature” signs which I feel contributes to chenle’s “big brother” energy. He has that aqua/sag energy where he seems really sure of himself, and wise and people look up to that.

I want to talk about his scorpio placements real quick because even though I just made a case for how open and easy-going he is, I’m still confused about how the scorpio fits into all of this. scorpio isn’t known to be one to be super open, agreeable or extroverted. I personally see his scorpio come out a lot in his realtionships. you can tell he cares deeply for his members and yes his aqua makes him get along with everyone but I feel like with the dream members we see that scorpio possessiveness and jealousy come out more. Lastly, I do want to add a little mystery to this, although his openness is high and it’s clear he is a very authentic person,,.. I definitely would not call him an open book👀

Chenle wasn’t able to be in the recording of this show unfortunately so all we got was a brief description of his hexaco chart and we won’t get any further analyses ): 

although I do agree that his hexaco chart reflects how he comes off in shows, I don’t think it completely reflects his chart so I’m going to say the house placements would help create a better picture! 

tdlr; fun and realtionships are a priority, he’s comfortable and confident in himself and people are drawn to that, v friendly😌but he has secrets👀

feedback, thoughts and clarifying questions are always welcome!

[hops-hunny]

Pride Lost, Feelings Found

Pairing: Neville Longbottom x Reader

Pronouns: They/Them

Word Count: 2.2k

Request: @summerstardust  “Could you do a Neville with a gender neutral reader. It can fluff/smut/bit of both 🤷, whatever you want. With the prompts: 4. "You think she looks at me? Am I invisible?”, 12. "I’ve always liked you, you’ve just never noticed.” and 17. "Make me fall in love with you.”

Maybe where Neville is secretly crushing on the reader from afar and the reader is told, in some way, about this and he just runs away from the scene. Then the reader follows and finds him and tells him that they want to get to know him.

Don’t feel pressured to use this idea, though. I am just feeling a bit angsty at the moment. Thank you! :)”

Summary: It all crumbles down before Neville’s eyes, but it’s replaced with something he’d never expect.

Warnings: angst but it turns to fluff!!

A/N: Ok ok, if you want a part 2 with what happens after reader says that? Lmk and I’ll probably write it! I’m so sorry this took so long esp for one of my favorite readers. I hope you enjoy <3

4. "You think she looks at me? Am I invisible?” 

12. "I’ve always liked you, you’ve just never noticed.” 

17. "Make me fall in love with you.”

Sometimes Neville wish he had never noticed (Y/n). But when you shine as bright as they did, how couldn't you notice? They bewitching, enchanting everyone around them with a simple smile, him included. However when miracles as amazing as (Y/n) come to be, so does a lot of attention. He adored everything about them, the way they always smeared their ink on their scroll when they wrote, how they’d walk into class every morning with that same sleepy expression, even down to the way they’d always have to pull their socks up because they got the wrong size and they’d fall down. They was his dream partner. But sadly, that’s the thing about dream lovers, they’re meant to stay dreams.

From as long as Neville could remember, he had been on the bottom of the social ladder. Hell, when your familiar (who is also a toad) causes a wild goose chase during your first years at a new school, it’s really not hard to understand why. If it had been someone else instead of him, he would've made fun of them too. He was a loser and no one would ever let him forget. Not his friends, not Malfoy, not anyone. But they did. In all his years at Hogwarts, (Y/n) had never made him feel like a loser. Every interaction the two of them had made him feel normal, like himself.

Granted every interaction they had was small. Accidentally bumping into them in the halls, a tight lip smile when eye contact was made. One time he thought (Y/n) was waving to him but was in fact waving to their friend behind him but luckily they hadn't seen (Malfoy definitely did..). Out of all the people who could have noticed the way he looked at them or the way his cheeks would turn red when they'd pass him it had to be Malloy. That was awful for a multitude of reasons. One being that for some reason, (L/n) and Malfoy were the best of friends. Everyday he wished that it was him who got sat next to them in potions instead of that weasel of a boy. The second reason being that despite knowing how Neville felt for them, he still had yet to do anything with the information. To most people, they’d be relieved if Malfoy found out one of their most personal pieces of information and had yet to do anything but, Neville knew better. Draco was a vile creature and if he hadn’t teased him about it yet, that surely meant something even greater was coming. Something truly awful and devastating. 

The first week after Malfoy found out had Neville staying up to the break of dawn, stirring around restlessly at the thought of what he’d do. Would he spill something on him when he was set to have a class with them, tape a note to the back of his shirt with the information on it, or worse...no, no. Not even Malfoy was cruel enough to do that! If anything, if he was going to tell (Y/n) he’d probably do it when Neville wasn’t around so they could come up to him and reject him at random. Although it was sad, what got Neville to sleep at night was imagining that they already knew. That (Y/n) was more than aware and it was only a matter of time till they’d reject him and his life would go back to normal without any pesky thoughts of how beautiful he found them to be.

--------------------------------

Seamus’s words went in one of Neville’s ears and right back out of the other, sounding like white noise to the boy. He couldn’t listen to whatever idiotic thing he was going on about. How could he when (Y/n) was a few feet away, looking just as gorgeous as they usually did? It was hard not to focus on them, the way their pretty lips would curl into a smile, giggling at something one of their friends had said. He felt a smile grace his own lips at the sight, letting out a noise of protest as Ron chucked a cushion at his head.

“Are you even, listening Longbottom?” he heard him ask, still not ripping his eyes away from the (y/h/h) across the hall.

“You think they look at me? Am I invisible?” he asked in a hushed tone, as if he was to speak any louder, they would somehow hear them despite them being so far away. Seamus let out a loud snort, beginning to cackle as he slapped the boy on the back a bit too hard.

“Fat chance, Longbottom! You think (L/n) would notice you? They wouldn’t even notice me, and that’s saying something!” Seamus wheezed out. Neville shot him a pointed glare, fuming from the boy’s words. He shoved him off the couch, rolling his eyes.

“It’s not that people don’t notice you Seamus….it’s that they do for all the wrong reasons.” Dean pointed out, causing the other 3 to laugh, growing louder as Seamus failed to push himself off the ground. 

“Oh don’t worry, Longbottom. (L/n) will be sure to notice you soon enough.” he froze at the sound of the cold voice, turning around to look at the platinum blonde prince himself. Draco stood their, smirking. Crabbe and Goyle tried to nod along when in reality, they had no idea what their leader was going on about. Neville gulped, standing up to face him completely.

“W-what do you mean?” he asked him, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. Draco simply shrugged, beginning to walk in the opposite direction. He turned around briefly looking the boy up and down.

“Means exactly what I said. Nothing more, nothing less. Well as much as I’d love to stay around and lose brain cells with you idiots, I’ve got better things to attend to.” and with that he left.

“Don’t worry, Nev. Draco is always just talk, I’m sure nothing will come of it.” Harry said, offering the boy a reassuring smile. Although Neville knew he meant well, he couldn’t stop the sinking, tight feeling in his chest. Draco had yet to do something so he had no reason to feel this way, but it was just a hunch that the worst was yet to come.

Even hours later, as Neville lay in his bed that night, all he could think about were the words that echoed throughout his head over and over.

“Oh don’t worry, Longbottom. (L/n) will be sure to notice you soon enough.”

He didn’t know if he was grateful for how vague that was or if it was the bane of his days. Draco could’ve meant anything by that, all he knew is whatever it meant the intent behind his words were less than kind. He turned again, sighing as he looked out the window. There was a full moon tonight, a beautiful silver halo of light dancing its way around it. 

“Merlin, save me please.” he pleaded quietly, to no one in particular. Every bit of hope, every positive thought laced in his words. Although he prepared for the worse to happen, he had a sliver of hope that it wouldn’t. That tomorrow he’d wake up and his day would be as mundane as usual, just the way he’d like it. And if he was lucky (Y/n) would give him a small smile in the hall.

---------------------------

Neville’s small sliver of hope had grown into an entire cake. Looking back on earlier in the week, he was worried for absolutely nothing! Malfoy once again was all bark and no bite which for once, he was glad for! He let out a sigh of content as he made his way from the library, heading in the direction of the main corridor. He saw Seamus give him an uncharacteristically serious look from the small crowd that was gathered around something. As he grew closer, in the middle of the circle he saw Draco stood on a crate as (Y/n) sat next to him, listening as he read something from a paper. 

“Nev, you might wanna...might wanna leave.” Seamus whispered to him. However, he looked as people stared at him, some giggling while some look sympathetic.

“Why? What’s going o-”

“Here’s another one I found in his bin! ‘Dear (Y/n), although I’ll never give you this letter, I can’t help but write about how amazing you are! When I saw you help that injured bird the other day, I wanted nothing more than to help you tend to it. I find it funny how even when you’re sad, you manage to brighten up my day.’ God how dorky is this loser? I can’t believe he fancies you so much (Y/n)!” Draco howled in laughter, a few others joining him. Neville found himself at the forefront of the circle, frozen in his spot. That was his letter! He had started writing them as a way of coping with his feelings, knowing that the person he fancied would always be out of reach of him. “Anything to say for yourself, Longbottom?”

Neville felt tears well in his eyes, the warmth of them mixing with the heat of his red flushed face. “I...I..” he looked at (Y/n) who look like they had something to say however, he didn’t wanna stick around to hear it. Without another word, he ran off, tears streaming down his face as soon as he was far enough from anyone. In his time of despair, he ran to his only place of comfort. The one place that he wasn’t Neville, the loser who just had his feelings ripped from safe keeping in front of half the students in his year. The place where he was just Neville.

He took in a deep breath of the familiar muggy air of the greenhouse, relaxing slightly as he took a seat on the ground. “God I’m so stupid!” he wailed, tears flowing down his face. His crying grew harder, harsh hiccups shaking and jolting his body as he screamed into his knees. He knew there was a matter of time before (Y/n) was to find out, he just didn’t know it’d be like this. If this was just the pain from them learning about his feelings, he didn’t wanna know how bad he’d be wounded when they came to reject him. Neville’s head jolted up at the sound of soft footsteps making their way over to him. He noticed the familiar pair of black shoes, turning his head as they kneeled down in front of him.

“I thought you may be here! You always seemed so passionate about plants during herbology so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to check here first.” (Y/n) said, placing a hand on the boy’s knee. He looked down at where they connected, feeling his face flush slightly from the contact. “You know, your friends care about you a lot. After you ran off, Ginny came up and socked Draco straight in the face. It was quite a sight really.” they let out a soft giggle at the memory. “Hermione went in to drag her off but when she saw how smug Draco looked, she couldn’t help but to join in. While they did that, your other friends set off looking for you and I did too.”

“Why?” he asked, catching their attention. The (y/h/h) gave him a confused look, tilting their head to the side. “Why did you come looking for me? Don’t you hate me now? Gross, stupid Longbottom having a crush on Hogwart’s sweetheart. How pathetic, huh?” he sniffled, ripping his eyes away from them. He knew if he was to continue to look, a completely new set of tears would be triggered.

“Why wouldn’t I? I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t! Although I don’t know much about you, I do know you’re a kind individual and you didn’t deserve what Draco did to you.” they said in a soft tone, moving into the spot next to Neville. They sat in silence for a moment before (Y/n) cleared their throat, looking over at him once more. “How long?”

“Pardon?”

“I mean, how long have you liked me for? I wasn’t even aware until today.” they queried curiously.

“I’ve always liked you, you’ve just never noticed. I don’t blame you for not noticing though, we’re from two different worlds. You’ve got everyone in hogwarts begging for a moment of your time and you hang out with some of the most elite and prestigious people in the castle.” he sniffled some, wiping his nose on his sleeve as he set his hand down on the cold cement ground. “It was stupid of me to let my feelings last for so long.”

“Why was it stupid?” they asked, scooting closer to him. Neville turned to look at them, losing his breath at their closeness.

“Because you don’t feel the same..not that I expected you to. You didn’t even know I existed until today.” he let out a huff of air. (Y/n) bit the inside of their cheek before placing their hand on top of Neville’s, tangling their fingers together.

“You’re right, I don’t feel the same,” they started, tightening their grip as the boy began to get up. “But that doesn’t mean I never will. Let’s get to know each other a bit more.” they leaned in closer, the feeling of both of their breath being exchanged like whispers amongst their lips. 

“Make me fall in love with you.”

TAGSLIST:@vayeya11 @pink-hufflepuff  @clancyscookies @beewitchedlou​ 

@nevillelongbottomsgirlfriend​ @redpanda-poetry​ @vibingaesthetically​

[kotos-and-smiles]

The meaning of “I”

Chapter 104 spoliers!

Note 1. I’ll still be calling it “I” even though the translators are changing the way they translate it to be “peace,” because that’s what I’m used to calling it for now.

Note 2. Just a fair warning, this is a long post, but hopefully you enjoy!

Okay, I’ve been meaning to start this blog for months now but I’ve had no idea how to just start so here we are. I decided what better way to start off than talking about the newest chapter because there is oh so much to talk about in this one chapter alone. The first thing I really want to talk about from this chapter is the club’s song for nationals “I” or “Peace” as the translators have started calling it. Despite the fact the club has been working on “I” for a lot of chapters now, we still don’t know about the actual meanings and motifs that are in the song or what feelings they’re aiming to put into it. I think we haven’t heard much about this because the club is still trying to figure it out for themselves. Also, I’ve been questioning for a while what type of song Takinami would write for the club, and that was answered in this chapter.

What we do know about the song is that it has the 4-person part with Chika, Kota, Momoya, and Yoshinaga, a part where all 9 of the club members play together, a part where melodies played by Chika and Satowa and then Takezo and Hiro will intertwine, and everyone has a solo. It’s also been emphasized over and over that all 9 people are needed to play the song. Takinami has only given his usual vague hints as to what meaning he put into the song, because like always he wants the club to figure it out for themselves. Until we get to ch.104, in which Chika interprets it in such the opposite way of how Takinami meant it that Takinami finally feels the need to give him a hint as to what the song means (and thank god, because I really don’t think that poor Chika would’ve gotten it at all otherwise).

In chapter 104, we learn that “I” is actually a piece that can be played with any amount of the 9 parts and still be a full song. This is a huge deal, and honestly blew my mind when I first read it. Takinami has specifically pushed the idea that everyone needs to be there to play this song, knowing full well that in actuality the song would be complete no matter how many people played it. Everyone is still essential in his eyes because the point is the desire to play with everyone and the importance each member holds to each other. Takinami even brings up the conversation he and Chika had before Ku-on, showing just how huge of an impact the whole situation with Ku-on had on Takinami. With the performance of Ku-on, he saw what this group was really made of and what they were capable of, even in less than ideal circumstances they pulled through an intensely emotional performance. Takinami finally found a sound he couldn’t ignore. The conversation Takinami and Chika have in ch.25, when Takinami tells Chika he shouldn’t perform and Chika responds that he really enjoys playing with everyone, that sentiment made it into “I.” Except now, the tables are turned and instead Chika still desperately wants to play, but absolutely will not if it means no one else gets to and thinks that he won’t be able to, and Takinami has taken a complete 180 on what his stance was during Ku-on. Unlike in Ku-on, Chika is, in a way, trying to drop out, and now Takinami is the one telling Chika to stay and play. I honestly love this whole conversation between them, I love how Takinami gets pissed at Chika for even thinking about withdrawing from the club, I love that he points out that Chika is only 16 and does not have to take everything on himself, it’s just so great and just what I was hoping for: someone to knock some sense into Chika.

Anyway, then Takinami gives us the first hint as to what he intended “I” to mean. To paraphrase “Stop focusing only on what the others mean to you, and begin to think about what you mean to them.” This is something that pretty much everyone in the club has a problem with. They care about each other so much, will stand up for each other, but they don’t think about the fact that all the others care about them just as much. Takinami is trying to shift the focus from “these people are important to me” to “what do I mean to them?” hoping that these oblivious teens will someday get it. This works for so many of the characters.

Firstly, let’s talk about Takezo. He’s been club president from the beginning, and he’s always been a great one but has really come into his own. I think everyone sees him as an amazing club president, a leader that holds them together and believes in all of them as a whole and individually. He doesn’t see himself that way. Takezo has the opening notes of “I”, it all starts with him just how the entire club was brought together by him. He’s explicitly stated that he sometimes wishes that someone like Satowa could begin the song because he’s worried about the fact that his is the first sound in the song. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to give a strong enough opening because he still sees himself as a bit inadequate. But how does the rest of the club see him? They see him as this strong club president, someone who’s always been there as the foundation, so why shouldn’t he be able to start the song and be it’s foundation throughout? So, it would help Takezo if he saw himself the way the rest of the club does, because then he’ll realize just what he means to them and hopefully see what they do in himself.

With Momoya, Takinami made a big deal about the fact that he needed to want to play with the club, and that he had to want it for himself. This ties back to the conversation before Ku-on that Takinami has weaved through “I”. But it was also important for Momoya to take up an identity with his sound, to decide to be something, and own up to being someone with a mutable sound. He can fit in, but it all needs to be his choice. Momoya has also never thought about what he means to the club, and they keep surprising him with how friendly they are and how much they care about him. They just want him to be himself and stay in the club. Hopefully he starts realizing that soon.

If there’s one thing that Chika is truly terrible at it’s realizing his worth, both with himself and with other people. As Tetsuki says in ch.99.5 “I bet Chika never thought that he himself could be thought of dearly by somebody else.” Chika still definitely struggles with that. He has no problem letting everyone else know how much they’re cared for, how much they’re valued, but when it comes to himself, he still doesn’t see how he could be a person someone thinks of as dear. He still sometimes gets surprised by little acts of caring. With all this stuff with Uzuki going on, he’s more worried about the wellbeing of the club, meanwhile all the members are more worried about him than the state of the club. I think that’s almost incomprehensible to Chika, and yet it’s there, and in the next chapter it will hopefully come through loud and clear just how much they all care about him, but especially Satowa as she literally won’t let him do this alone.

Satowa, too, is terrible at realizing how much she means to people, as shown by the fact that Chika and the others literally have to spell it out for her sometimes. She doesn’t like being a burden, she doesn’t want to do anything that would disrupt or upset their lives. But she doesn’t really see how much those people care about her and that when you care about someone like that it isn’t a burden. Satowa’s self-worth is low, at least in some areas, and she always puts the club over her own desires or feelings due to having hurt people before, specifically her mother. Hiro even tells her in Ch.92 that the club can withstand whatever emotions she decides to express, but Satowa doubts that. Satowa, much like Chika, needs to come to the realization that people care more about her than they do the club, and again, thinking of herself from the perspective of how much the other’s care could help her realize this and her place in the club.  

Chika and Satowa both are afraid of being selfish, they don’t want to come off as selfish and they want to put other’s first, but their own feelings realistically get in the way of them being entirely selfless. As Granny says to Chika in ch.77, you have to cherish yourself to be able to give to others and it’s important to think about yourself so that you can have a life you’re happy with. So, both he and Satowa need to start thinking of themselves in a more positive way instead of thinking it’s selfish, which could be helped if they looked at how other’s care about them, which is what “I” is all  about.

Now let’s talk about these two intertwining melodies, one of which will be played by Chika and Satowa and the other by Takezo and Hiro, the section Takinami seems to have set aside for the oblivious lovebirds. Takezo and Hiro have each realized, on their own, that they’re in love with each other, and yet haven’t made the connection that the other feels the same way. Part of this is preservation of the club, but seriously how do you not realize? With Satowa and Chika, it’s even more complicated, and I plan to make a full post about it, but they certainly have never really thought about how the other must feel about them. Later on in the chapter, after Chika’s conversation with Takinami, Chika literally asks Satowa what she thinks of him. Not only did Chika take in what Takinami had to say, in the only way he’d listen which is through koto song terms, he thought about it while he was having lunch with Satowa and was trying to ask her a very important question about it before they were so rudely interrupted by the reminder of just how insane Uzuki is.

I think especially for Chika, Satowa, and Takezo, (who I look at as the main trio) this message of realizing who you are to the people around you is a huge part of their journey. They all need to stop denying themselves their own feelings, which is basically what Takinami was trying to tell them with “I.”

So, I seriously wondered for a while what kind of song Takinami had written for these kids. What better meaning could it have than pushing these people to realize just how much they mean to each other and start focusing on how those they care about see them, not just the other way around? Especially for Takinami, who puts up with a lot but ultimately wants to help these kids and believes in them.

I’m really glad he gave Chika the hint though, because I truly do not believe these kids would’ve gotten what “I” is about if he hadn’t given them that push considering they all avoid thinking about how the other’s must care about them, some of them I think are even afraid to think of it. It’s so perfect and I’m so excited to see where they go with it.  

ps. I’m new to posting and stuff, so please be kind.

[mosswillow]

Your Mask - (Dark!Tony Stark x Reader).

Warnings! 18+ adult content, Non Con/dub con, kidnapping, smut, Dark!, blackmail.

AN - If you’re new here this is for a collection of Dark!Avenger one shots where the avengers one by one manipulate/kidnap the reader. You can read this fic alone or with the others. I think it’s best to read them in order if you want to read all of them but you do you. Here’s the masterlist for that.

...ok yeah also I said I was going to do bucky but as I started planning out his story I realized it needs to go after most of the others. I have outlines for everyone now and (as long as I don’t change anything) It will go Natasha, Sam, Thor, Bucky, Loki.

word count: 2.7k

Strength. It’s been a theme throughout your life. You had to be strong growing up when your parents divorced and your father left. You were strong in school, graduating top of your class while working nights and weekends to help support you and your mother. You had to be strong when your mother died and you were left alone freshman year of college.You were strong when you landed a high level position in finance after graduation. You’ve been strong every day since, being a leader, someone whose confidence radiates through their entire  being.

Sometimes though when it’s quiet and you’re alone in your thoughts you get tired. Tired of being strong, of fighting every second of every day to make it in a world that wants to pull you down. You’re tired of pretending because you know that underneath it all you’re not strong at all. You’ve put on this mask of strength and it’s carried your farther than you could ever dream. You know though that one day it will carry you too far and the mask will be knocked off, showing who you really are, just a scared little girl pretending to be someone she isn’t

---

You look at the dresses your assistant pulled for you, picking out a long red one with a slit up the thigh. You pair it with a red lipstick and simple diamond jewelry. It’s perfect, you’re perfect you think looking at yourself in the mirror. You tell yourself that you’re everything you need before heading out the door and to your waiting car.

Stark tower is decorated from top to bottom with beautiful icicle themed displays. While magnificent the decor feels formidable, almost a warning not to walk in. You can’t stay on top without attending things like this. You take a breath before walking through the crowd, making your way to the bar, and ordering a red wine. A little liquid courage always helps in these environments. You find an acquaintance and smile, reaching your hand out.

“John.”

“Y/N, fancy seeing you here,” he says sarcastically

“Hey now, I show up to these things sometimes,” You joke.

“It has been a long time, which reminds me that we need to get together and talk business. I won’t let you get out of it this time,” you continue.

“You got me, I’ll have my assistant contact yours to set up a meeting.” John laughs and waves his hand before walking away.

You keep up a cheerful disposition as you make your way through the crowd, networking. It’s what you’re best at and how you came out on top after graduation. You have a way about you, always able to lure people in to get what you want. You head to the bar to refill your wine not looking as you turn back to the crowd. You bump into someone and spill a drop of wine on their suit.

“Oh I’m sorry.”

The man turns and you immediately recognize him.

“Mr. Stark. I swear it was an accident.” You turn back to the bar and get a napkin, dabbing the small spot of wine. You don’t want to think about how much his suit cost.

He gives a genuine smile and reaches out, gently stroking your arm before grabbing the napkin from your hand.

“It’s ok, I don’t think we’ve met?”

“Oh yeah, I’m Y/N.”

“I’ve heard of you.” He says.

You’ve heard that Mr. Stark is a flirt but as you talk it feels like more than that. There’s a look in his eyes that screams sex and you can’t look away. You feel like he could swallow you whole just with a look. You want nothing more in this moment for that to happen. You want him and you’re accustomed to getting what you want.

Tony reaches out his hand and you mirror him, ready to follow him to his room when a cough comes from beside you. Captain America smiles wide at you and you drop your hand smiling back at him. To his right is a smiling woman, hanging on his arm.

“And who is this?”

“This is Y/N. She’s caught my attention,” Tony says, giving a small nod as he says your name.

“You can call me Steve,” Steve says, smiling even bigger.

The woman slowly loses her smile, looking back and forth between you and Tony.

“No, Tony don’t.”

Tony clenches his jaw and Steve Leans over and whispers something in the woman's ear.

“My wife is tired. I think we’re going to head up now,” Steve says abruptly.

You make eye contact with the woman and she gives you a sad smile before turning away. They walk off together hand and hand and you make a face at Tony.

“Is she ok?”

Tony shrugs.

“She’s always been super weird. Steve loves her though so I let it be.”

You nod and look at your watch.  

“Hey?” Tony says, pulling your attention back to him.

“Yes?”

“Do you want to see my room?”

“What are you implying?” you smile and he leans in.

“Sex?”

You laugh and follow him up to his room. He undoes his tie pulling it off and you slip your dress over your head and throw it on the floor, kicking your heels off. You pull Tony in for a kiss before knocking him onto the bed, peppering soft kisses over his chest. You move your hand down to his hardening cock, stroking it as it starts to throb. He pulls your face up and kisses you back. He nips at your shoulder as you line his dick up at your entrance and slide your body down slowly. You ride him, taking what you want. You feel an orgasm building, you’re so close. Tony slaps your thigh hard, bringing you out of the moment and you let out a whine, opening your eyes.  He flips you over and thrusts deep and hard into you. You push against him and him against you, rolling around the bed.  it’s the most passionate sex you’ve ever had and when it’s over you can’t help but spend several minutes repeating ‘what the fuck’ over and over again in your head. Finally, you get up and make your way to his bathroom, coming out several minutes later with an empty bladder and clean thighs. You pull your dress on and loof for The discarded red thong you had been wearing, ultimately deciding to just leave it, you can buy more.

“Where are you going?” Tony asks.

“Home,” you reply.

Tony’s face goes hard and he sits up in bed, crossing his arms.

“Oh, the sex was great sweety but that’s all it was. I’m not looking for anything serious.”

You watch something happen in Tony, the gears in his brain twist and turn. A sinister smile washes over his face and he lounges back in his bed.

“Have a good evening Y/N, I’ll see you soon.” He says casually.

You leave quickly, calling a car to meet you on the street.

On monday you arrive to a stoic office. Everyone looks at you like you have two heads. Your chest tightens and you start feeling nauseous. You don’t even sit down before your assistant shows up in your office telling you of an emergency board meeting that you’re required to attend. You sit in the meeting as the board explains that they have to let you go.

“I just don’t understand, is it something I did?” you ask.

“We just want to go a different direction.” the CEO answers.

You pack your things and head home, spending no time feeling sorry for yourself. You prepare your resume and start calling all of your many contacts from all over the globe. Nobody wants to hire you or even give an interview. Some won’t even take your calls and you start getting frustrated.

“Stark blackballed you, I’m sorry.” Finally someone tells you.

“Thank you for telling me.”

“Yeah, just don’t tell anyone I told you ok?”

“Yeah of course.”

You hang up the phone and narrow your eyes. What an absolute asshole, you think. He ruined someones career because of sex. You stand up and storm over to Stark Tower demanding to be seen. Tony is obviously expecting you. He sits in his big office chair looking at you all smug and offers you a coffee. You don’t have the patience for whatever he’s doing and cut right to the chase.

“You blackballed me?”

Tony shrugs.

“I could go to the police,” you say.

“And say what? They won’t do anything to me, I’m a superhero and my wealth and influence is more than you could imagine.”

You want to punch him in the face, or maybe strangle him. If you had a pack of dogs you would definitely let them loose on him right now. Instead you raise your middle finger up and shout a very hostile string of vulgar insults before turning on your heel to storm out.

“I have a position available for you.” Tony says as you reach the door.

You turn back and cross your arms.

“Same salary you had before. Work here for a year and I’ll get you a job anywhere.”

“Why are you doing this? I don’t get your motivation.”

Tony taps his finger on his desk.

“I’ll send over the contract.”

It’s no use trying to get anything out of him and you know it. You go home and steam, pacing anxiously around your apartment and drinking. The contract arrives later in the evening and you look over it. The job is legitimate and good, actually better than your previous position. If he had just offered you the job you would have taken it but now, you shake your head,  Now there’s nowhere else for you to go. You sign the contract and send it back.

---

You arrive at work on monday and organize your desk. It’s a nice office with a big window and private bathroom. You can do one year, you’ve certainly done worse.

Tony wastes no time visiting your office. He drops off flowers and chocolates and sends you dirty messages. You ignore it, knowing that anything you do will just spur him on more. It all becomes worse when you’re forced to start bringing files to Tony's personal quarters. You take a breath and knock on his door. When he opens you shove the files at him and start walking away. Tony follows you out and stops you, shoving you against the wall. You make yourself tall, shoving him back.

“This is not ok Tony, you need to stop this weird obsessive behavior.”

“You like it, I know you do.”

He shoves you again and your head hits the wall. You cry out and a woman you don’t recognize appears from behind a corner. She wears an apron and carries a duster so you assume she’s a housekeeper.

“Is everything ok?” She asks.

“We’re fine, you can leave for the night.”

The woman looks back and forth between you and Tony. You give her a small nod and a big customer service smile and she nods back before disappearing around the corner.

“Seriously, this needs to stop or I walk.”

“You won’t find another job if you walk.”

“I have savings.”

Tony looks away and runs his hand through his hair.

“You win this round, I’ll stay away.”

He runs a finger down your cheek before stepping away.

“I’m patient.”

You visibly cringe. He’s patient? You don’t know what he even means by that. Does he think you’ll change your mind and come to him? You should walk right now. You can find a little house in the countryside and live a simple life. Your rational brain reminds you that he would follow you. There’s nowhere you can go outside of his influence. You glare at him and retreat, not looking back.

---

The next several weeks are quiet. Despite everything, you like your job. The people who

work for Stark are well paid and happy. If it wasn’t for Tony you would stay in the company indefinitely.

There’s no way you could anticipate what’s in the letter you get, so sweetly wrapped up like a present. You open it expecting the same sort of stuff Tony always sends. Maybe it’s tickets to a basketball game or a gift certificate for a massage with a flashy and inappropriate message attached, always with the inappropriate messages.

It’s not what you expect at all. You start shaking as you read every last bit and at the end you pick your phone up and call Tony.

“Come on up,” He says.

You stand at the elevator. You could turn around right now and leave, get all of your money and flee the country. You turn around and see a security guard looking at you. He holds a walky talky up to his mouth and waits. With a sigh, you press the button and go up. Tony waits for you on an empty floor, smiling wide.

“Don’t the avengers live here?”

“They’re out right now, it’s just you and me.”

He walks toward you and you back away a step for every one he takes. You eye the elevator.

“You won’t be leaving this floor for some time. If you behave we’ll see about you going back to work.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” you whisper.

“Watching Steve with his girl just… I want that.”

“So ask someone on a date?”

“I want you.”

“Why?”

Tony finally reaches you, taking your chin and pulling it up.

“At first it was like a game that I wanted desperately to win. Now It’s love.”

You want to throw up. You look back at the papers in your hand. He thought of everything. He has a detailed background check and list of every single friend and family member. He knows all of your passwords. He has a month worth of pictures of the two of you that he’s already started leaking to the press. To everyone else it looks like you’ve already been in a relationship. Worst of all he has video of you in your office holding files and carrying them out of the office. He has an intricate outline of how he’s able to frame you and send you to prison if he wants.

“It wouldn’t be a very fun game if I didn’t give you at least a chance to win. In one year I’ll ask you if you want to leave and if you say yes I’ll let you go.”

He raises his arm up and lands a slap across your face.

“You’ll break in a week though.”

Tears fall from your eyes for the first time since your mother died. Tony gestures for you to come with him and you do, following him without argument. He pushes you onto his bed and removes your underwear, lifting your skirt up.

“Open up baby,” He says pushing against your legs.

Your legs shake as you open them. He gives your pussy a small slap before climbing on top of you and thrusting in. He holds you down as he takes you, eyeing your tear stained face posessively.

“Hey, don’t be sad princess.”

He reaches down to your clit and starts circling it, forcing your body to betray you. You cling to him as your orgasm washes over you and he in turn comes, filling you with so much cum it starts dripping out. You try to go to the bathroom but he grabs your hand and pulls you back to the bed.

“This time you’ll stay.”  

---

You’ve always been strong, you had to be. Your strength is what got you into this mess and you realize now, crying alone in Tony’s room, that your strength is not enough to get you out. The mask you wore for so long was just that, a mask, and now it’s been stolen and worn like a trophy by someone else. You know you’ll never get it back, that in one year Tony will ask you if you want to leave and you won’t have the strength to say yes.

[cat-scarr]

A Deconstruction of The Flame Keeper’s Circle & The Audience’s Common Complaints | Catgirl

As the title states, I’ve been reminded of a couple complaints made about this episode that stem from a large portion of the audience’s general disliking of the way both Ben and Julie were handled during the run of Ultimate Alien. In fact, I recently read a "review" of “The Flame Keeper's Circle,” or, more of a parody, actually, since a review would actually have some kind of substance to it and not just...a slew of insults thrown at a show you claim to like. It's almost like you're looking for something to be mad at, but anyway.

One of those was the OP actually asking someone to (probably joking, but anyway) explain "how Ben's mind works" to them.

And I was like, gladly!

According to the comments under the review, it seems like the general audience didn't really like this episode all that much when it first aired. Which, I bring up because, I on the other hand, actually did. And for a reason: because it proves my previous defence points right.

There's a lot of talk about Ben coming off as a “jerk” or a “douchebag”...but, in a situation such as the one presented within “The Flame Keeper’s Circle,” I would argue he did exactly what he should have done. So that's where I beg to differ.

This episode puts Ben in a position where he, once again, needs to deal with the overlap of a romantic relationship and his priorities as a superhero. The only reason there is conflict here is because they are both important to him.

A bad boyfriend would only care about himself, but Ben clearly cares about not only the safety of his (clearly, quite naive) girlfriend, but also the safety of the rest of the earth. Which, as I’m going to be stating several times, should be something expected of him considering everything else within the series that establishes who he is as a character.

So, on the topic of things that are important, ask yourselves, why would Ben prioritize going along with Julie's idea of joining a cult more than keeping her, and the rest of the world, safe when he realizes the trouble she could potentially be getting herself into?

Throughout the episode, and the fandom’s discussions from what I’ve seen, there is so much focus on "oh, he laughed at her idea so he's a douchebag and therefore a bad boyfriend" and not enough focus on the fact that he's not blindly following an alleged “good cause” because he isn't naive and that's in character based on everything we know about him as a character.

Context matters. And this kind of thing only further makes me question the people who want to cry "inconsistent" writing or characterization because he's acting the way he's been conditioned to.

Arguably from the age of ten, Ben's been dealing with situations where he needed to fight to survive and decide who to trust. Sometimes he trusted the wrong person, which wasn't done out of any other reason besides wanting to help and do the "right thing."

For example, Michael Morningstar in the episode “All That Glitters,” who fooled Ben and his team into thinking he was innocent all while abusing school girls for their life energy and almost killing Ben's cousin.

Or, Simian in “Birds of a Feather," who fooled Ben into thinking he was royalty and into helping him steal something that would aid the Highbreed in their mass murder plot.

In that way, Ben and Julie could have related in this situation because they were both trusting people in the interest of doing something “good.” Both Michael and Simian made Ben believe that they had something in common, or a common goal they could work together to reach. But, he trusted them blinded by his ambition and drive to save the world. Much like Julie is blinded by the promise of being a part of a group trying to make the world a better place.

As such, Ben has made the mistake before, so he's extra weary of how things could go very wrong. He's not against his girlfriend just to be a “jerk” - he's been through things like this before, and we’ve seen him go through those things.

Furthermore, the situation in which Julie is trusting The Flame Keeper’s Circle involves her indirectly agreeing to work with Vilgax. Who, as anyone familiar with Ben should know, is one of if not Ben’s biggest, and more importantly, most dangerous enemy.

Again, she, at the beginning didn’t know that he was involved, or what Ben had gone through already to make him act the way he does in this situation, but she does know what his job entails at this point in the series. She should probably infer that he’s suspicious for a good reason, as should the audience.

Not trusting people blindly is something he learned from being the leader of his team, while trying to protect the earth, namely from the Highbreed invasion back in Alien Force when he was putting together a stronger team. It would only make sense for him to then apply that to a situation in which his significant other gets roped into that which he fights against.

Speaking of fighting against, that brings me to another odd criticism of the writing of this episode. It’s no surprise that the flawed belief of Ben coming off as an alleged “sociopath” is brought up again, considering this episode takes place after The Ultimate Kevin arc. And yes, I realize the problematic connotations of using that term as a borderline insult as part of the issue here. But that aside, in this episode, the fact that he begins to fight Vilgax in his apparent “weakened” state is what is being attributed to that description.

Besides the fact that defending Vilgax is questionable in itself, he’s never needed water to survive for the many times he actually tried to kill Ben. I can’t find a solid answer from a writer that knows for certain if his need for water is genuine except for one who is only assuming that is the case when he’s in this state.

But regardless, (since he clearly survived long enough to morph with Dagon and become a bigger threat to the earth later on) we are still defending Vilgax the LITERAL INTERGALACTIC WARLORD.

Y’know, the guy who’s only in this position because of his own immoral actions? Who absolutely would not hesitate to take advantage of his opponent's weakened state in order to further get away with his immoral actions? Such as he is in this very episode, taking advantage of the people wrongfully worshiping him?

If we are trying to imply that Ben is “just as bad as Vilgax,” then I would assume you’d easily find the flaw in that being Ben’s motivation for incapacitating a dangerous offender who is, at the moment, manipulating naive humans to work for him and help him continue get away with his immoral actions. Which is, needless to say, not the same as Vilgax, at all.

Again, you’d think that’d be obvious.

The Flame Keeper’s Circle’s mission is to end human suffering and find a solution to certain issues happening across the globe with the help of alien technology that is much more advanced than what everyday people are used to. And, while the end goal seems like a good cause, even something Ben as a superhero would be all for, the means through which they attempt to get there aren’t a good idea, at all.

A lot of people find it hard to navigate the use of technology considered advanced by human standards in the real world, so you can only imagine the various things that could go wrong if those kinds of people were suddenly exposed to something much more powerful. In short, a lot could go wrong.

Again, Ben has been in that exact position as soon as he was armed with the Omnitrix. Which is exactly why he’d see the flaw in what these people are trying to do, and therefore not be convinced that it’s such a good idea to allow them to continue, much less endorse it.

This is why I love when the writers actually allow Ben to speak for himself instead of cutting him off for drama or plot. Once he actually gets a word in, or more accurately, has his moment of heroic monologue, he makes himself very clear and, I think, only further proves what I’m trying to say about him.

Here he is, explaining exactly what I’ve been trying to highlight throughout this body of work:

Ben: “Even if Dagon was real, using alien technology to accelerate a planet’s natural development won’t bring utopia, it’ll bring disaster. It’s happened before. Why do you think the Plumbers have those laws? But even that’s not the point, because that isn’t Dagon! His name is Vilgax. He’s not a hero, he’s a selfish, evil warlord who’s using you. And if you let him get in his ship, he’s going to fly off and start an interstellar civil war.”

It’s not that only he can use alien technology to save the world, it’s that his status as a hero proves that he knows what he’s doing, unlike these businessmen in fancy robes leading a cult for profit.

That is not what I would have assumed reasonable people would consider “douchebag behaviour.” That’s actually smart, and going back to my first point, exactly what he should be doing in a situation like this.

The actual episode does end off on a positive note for both Ben and Julie, which is omitted from the review and most of the comments I have read from others on the topic. And, I bring it up because it’s actually vital to wrap up everything brought up within this episode that I have just expanded on. Not only because they make up and seem to understand each other’s perspective after all is said and done, but because they both agree to be open to further discussion on the topic, as Ben offers to go out for dinner.

Which, needless to point out I hope, but once again, is not “douchebag behaviour.”

[robininthelabyrinth]

First time submitting prompts, fairly new follower. Love your writing!

NHS and LWJ friendship. Subtle and maybe people other than their big brothers don't see it and it shocks people when they find out. Mostly Canon compliant?

Associates - Part 3 - ao3, pt 1, pt 2

In the end, it was Lan Wangji who went to get Wei Wuxian, rather than wait patiently for him to return of his own free will as he had originally intended.

It had been Nie Huaisang’s idea, after nearly a year of Wei Wuxian travelling – they’d never actually pursued the jealousy idea he’d initially suggested on account of it being a terrible idea, Lan Wangji’s temporary moment of insanity in even considering it aside. It had come up seemingly apropos of nothing, one day when the two of them were working together in Lan Wangji’s study, Lan Wangji filling out the paperwork in his graceful handwriting as Nie Huaisang flittered around solving problems – he preferred pacing as he thought, which perhaps explained his reluctance to work on documents despite his beautiful calligraphy, and all the marching around made him, in some moments, look remarkably like his elder brother, something Lan Wangji deliberately refrained from ever mentioning.

“You need to go pick him up,” Nie Huaisang had suddenly said, in between planning out the next discussion conference and explaining why a seemingly minor dispute regarding shifting the boundary line near the Yuncheng Bao sect by a single li could have catastrophic consequences for the Jin sect’s long-term stability. “I know you’re afraid of giving the impression that you’re trapping him and restraining his freedom, but that’s your problem, not his. He wants to be asked.”

“Does he?” Lan Wangji had asked, finishing the sentence he was on and putting down the brush. Some things took priority above night-fishing rights near a contained Waterborne Abyss, no matter the new head of the Laoling Qin sect might think.

“Mm, yes. He’s been taking a lot of night hunts in the immediate vicinity of Gusu, close but never too close…Lan Zhan, he’s hinting that he wants you to chase him.”

“Pride?”

“A bit, maybe? Mostly I think it was his position in Yunmeng Jiang, where the former Sect Leader Jiang wanted him and Madame Yu didn’t, so his status was always that slightest bit uncertain. Here and now, he wants to know that he’s really welcome…don’t give me that look! He knows he’s welcome, you’ve made that clear, but making you be the one to ask is just another way to ensure that it’s actually true.”

And so Lan Wangji had gone to where he’d heard that Wei Wuxian was night-hunting, flying down on Bichen when he saw him walking with Lil’ Apple along a mountain path – he called his name, and Wei Wuxian had turned and smiled…

Wei Wuxian had come back with him.

More than that – he’d kissed him, he’d said he was staying with him, he’d agreed to marry him, to live their life together from then on.

They were officially engaged now, the auspicious date having been selected, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling having demanded roles on the side of the bride – Wei Wuxian briefly protested being the bride, then realized that he was marrying into the Lan sect and promptly reversed course, announcing that he wanted all the trappings of being a bride, excluding the dress – and life was very, very good.

Unfortunately, a couple of weeks was about as long as the cultivation world could hold off on needing its Chief Cultivator to be more than part time – he’d done a lot of the work in the mornings while Wei Wuxian was still asleep or when he was busy, and of course he had the system of delegation that Nie Huaisang had constructed for him and naturally Nie Huaisang himself helping out through his letters – and regretfully, Lan Wangji had had to return his full focus to his duties.

At first, it didn’t mark that much of a change: Wei Wuxian would bring projects of his own and they would work side by side, Lan Wangji already accustomed to the presence of another through all the work he’d done with Nie Huaisang, and Lan Wangji insisted that Wei Wuxian go out regularly with the juniors for night-hunts even if he himself could not. It all seemed fine, except only that Lan Wangji had the distinct feeling that he was missing something important.

It was only when the first big issue came up – a serious dispute between two small sects – that Lan Wangji realized what that was.

He sent a message to the Unclean Realm and waited.

Nie Huaisang arrived at the Cloud Recesses at the exact time one might expect if Nie Huaisang had received the message and left at once at top speed, accounting for the relatively slow pace he had when flying as a result of his mediocre cultivation.

Letter still crushed in his hand, he swept into the jingshi in his usual manner, all high drama and flash, wailing, “Lan Zhan! You betrayed me! You, of all people! My oldest friend!”

Lan Wangji, who had been expecting this, rolled his eyes.

Wei Wuxian, sitting in the desk he’d claimed as his own, looked up, startled. “Nie Huaisang?”

“Oh, hi, Wei Wuxian, congratulations on your engagement, has Lan Zhan shown you the present I sent? Probably not, he never does – Lan Zhan! Don’t think I’m letting you distract me with Wei Wuxian! You answer for this right away!”

He waved the crumbled letter at Lan Wangji.

“There is nothing to explain,” Lan Wangji said. “I requested your assistance in my capacity as Chief Cultivator.”

“You called me a spineless, gutless coward!”

Wei Wuxian made a choking sound.

“I sought to accurately characterize your recent behavior,” Lan Wangji said, and noted that Wei Wuxian’s choking noises got worse, although he did not actually appear to be in need of air. “Do you object?”

(There was something about Nie Huaisang’s company that reminded Lan Wangji irresistibly of being a child again, he had found, and it was only recently that he had begun to remember that as a child he had once had a tendency to bite. A pleasant rediscovery, even if the sharpness of his teeth were now expressed via paper and ink rather than through physical attacks.)

“You were the one who took a month off,” Nie Huaisang complained, a blatant lie given that Lan Wangji had been on partial duty for no more than two weeks, but dropped into his usual place at Lan Wangji’s side obediently enough. “Lan Zhaaaaaaan, don’t make me do work –”

Lan Wangji was going to say something about how it wasn’t like Nie Huaisang was doing any less work by doing his part in the Unclean Realm rather than being physically present in Gusu for consultations, he was just doing it less efficiently, but that was when Wei Wuxian coughed into his hand.

“Sect Leader Nie,” he said, with too much formality, but Nie Huaisang waved his hands at him querulously, clearly disapproving, and his shoulders relaxed a little. “Ah – Nie Huaisang. Since when do you call Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan? I thought you called him Lan-er-gongzi?”

“Oh, no, it’s been Lan Zhan since I was – what, seven or so?” Nie Huaisang said. “I wasn’t joking about him being my oldest friend, you know. We were just fighting back then, when you came for the lectures.”

Wei Wuxian blinked rapidly and turned to look at Lan Wangji, who nodded in confirmation.

They’d failed each other rather thoroughly back then, neither one being there for the other when they could have been. Nie Huaisang had not been wrong to observed that simply because he had always been free and open with his affections, Lan Wangji had assumed they would always be there to be resumed at a later time, without any need for maintenance – playing hot and cold, offering and receiving comfort and support at certain times, totally distant at others…it wasn’t until much later, when Lan Wangji emerged from seclusion, that he had needed Nie Huaisang again, and realized what he’d lost in the blank and disinterested glance of the boy he’d once thought of as his friend, who now seemed to visit the Cloud Recesses only in search of his elder brother.

They’d spoken in those intervening years, but it had always been light, superficial. Lan Wangji could have reached out a hand at that time, sought to resume their relationship, but he was consumed with his own grief, his own troubles, and out of respect for the face of his sect he had refused to share them; perhaps if he had, Nie Huaisang wouldn’t have done what he had done, would have relied upon him instead.

Perhaps things would have been very different.

It wasn’t until he’d finally swallowed his pride to ask Nie Huaisang for help with the overwhelming work of being Lan sect leader and Chief Cultivator both that they had broken through that distance once more. It had been difficult at first, readjusting their long-lost patterns to their adult behaviors, but they had slowly but surely fallen into a comfortable dynamic that suited them both.

“I had no idea,” Wei Wuxian said blankly. “You spend much time together?”

“Nie-xiong assists me in my duties,” Lan Wangji interjected before Nie Huaisang could spout something stupid about eloping, as he was sometimes wont to do. “He has been critical in ensuring that I am not overwhelmed.”

Wei Wuxian mouthed ‘Nie-xiong’, but what he said was, “You, Lan Zhan? Overwhelmed?”

Lan Wangji nodded. “My brother went into seclusion,” he explained. “As sect heir, I became responsible for the duties of sect leader of the Lan sect, and I had also accepted the post of Chief Cultivator.”

“And he didn’t have anyone else to help, so he came to me,” Nie Huaisang said cheerfully, ignoring how Wei Wuxian’s eye twitched. “I hope you don’t mind. It was very convenient a trade: I know plenty of things about being a sect leader – more than you’d think, I swear! – and Lan Wangji, as Chief Cultivator, can help me whenever someone tries to make something out of that awful business last year.”

There had been a few unfortunate sequelae to those events. Nie Huaisang’s role had never been officially confirmed, but somehow word had gotten out regardless and sects throughout the cultivation world were looking at Nie Huaisang in suspicion – less out of concern for Jin Guangyao, although there were a few that had especially benefited from his rule that were disappointed, than with an eye towards the future. The wise ones were afraid of his patience and planning, but far more were simply greedy, looking for a chance to finally uproot the notorious Headshaker now that his best protection, his brother’s two sworn brothers, were not there to defend him.

As he had promised, Lan Wangji had defied any attempts by others to do anything of that sort.

As he had promised, he would not change his mind or withdraw his support, no matter what Wei Wuxian said.

His shoulders tensed as Wei Wuxian looked over at him, his expression thoughtful. “I’m going to need to talk to Jiang Cheng,” he remarked, seemingly unrelatedly, and then said, “Well, I trust Lan Zhan’s judgment.”

Nie Huaisang had covered his face with his fan and was looking over it at Wei Wuxian. “You do? And here I thought you didn’t associate with evil…”

“Those are from Lan Zhan’s sect rules, not mine,” Wei Wuxian declared. “If he doesn’t judge you to be evil, who am I to say otherwise?”

Nie Huaisang smiled.

“We should talk more, sometime,” Wei Wuxian continued. “And hey, Nie-xiong, I don’t know if you still collect those books –”

“Oh, of course, Wei-xiong!” Nie Huaisang said enthusiastically. “Though you don’t need to ask for them from me. Lan Zhan’s built up quite a collection over the years.”

Lan Wangji sighed, even as Wei Wuxian spun to look at him with a predatory look in his eyes, not unlike a sighthound that had just fixed on its prey. “You do?”

“Nie-xiong has gifted me with many art pieces over the years,” Lan Wangji admitted. His ears felt as though they were on fire; they were undoubtedly red. “You may peruse them at your leisure.”

“At our leisure,” Wei Wuxian murmured, his eyes deeply intent. “I can’t wait to see what spring books you like best, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Wangji averted his eyes, feeling hot.

Nie Huaisang giggled and snapped his fan shut. “You don’t want to see the art I sent, Wei-xiong, trust me,” he cackled. “You want to see the pieces. Just ask!”

Wei Wuxian grinned and shook his head. “I think that’s a private discussion! Anyway, I’m going to go talk to Jiang Cheng – you two work on your Chief Cultivator stuff.”

“Your insight would be welcome,” Lan Wangji said, but Wei Wuxian waved a casual hand.

“Later, later,” he said breezily. “I don’t know either of those sects, I couldn’t possibly say anything intelligent – maybe next time you have a question. I look forward to working with you, Nie-xiong.”

“The feeling is mutual.”

Lan Wangji watched them smile at each other – still a little wary, but both clearly willing to attempt a renewal of their own friendship, even after everything – and his heart felt light.

The only thing, he reflected, that would make this perfect would be if Lan Xichen came out of seclusion.

But with Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian, and Nie Huaisang on the job, they’d be sure to figure out a way to do that soon enough.

He was sure of it.

[vrishchikawrites]

Novel quotes that were sitting in my drafts and my thoughts 

It is canon that JC’s own people are afraid of approaching him with their concerns. The people of his territory don’t approach the Jiangs for help unless the matter is deadly. This is supported by novel text. This is the state of YungmengJiang after it is one of the remaining three great sects, an economic, political, and martial powerhouse.

Ch 92 - Longing Part 3 (Exiled Rebels translation)

The owner, “That I’m not so sure about. Anyways, the temple’s quite popular. In Yunping City, no matter what someone runs into, we’d all go there and pray for the Guanyin’s protection. I sometimes go there and light a few sticks of incense too.”

Wei WuXian asked, “Then why don’t you go find the cultivational sect that’s in charge of this region?”

He only remembered after he asked. Wasn’t the cultivational sect in charge of this region precisely the YunmengJiang Sect?

Yet, the owner curled her lips, “Go find them? How dare we?”

Wei WuXian, “Oh? Why not?”

The owner, “Young Masters, you’re not from Yunping City so you don’t know. The Jiang Sect is responsible for all of us along the Yunmeng area. The Sect Leader’s got quite a bad temper. It’s almost frightening. His subordinate’s said so a long time ago. Only one sect is in charge of such a large area. Each day, there are almost a hundred cases of small ghosts or other creatures pulling pranks on the living and all that. If every single small thing had to be dealt with immediately, would there be enough time and energy? Those that don’t kill anyone aren’t malign spirits, and we’re not supposed to disturb them with trivial matters that aren’t malign spirits.” She complained, “What is this supposed to mean? Wouldn’t it be too late if we waited until somebody’s died to find them?!

No way would WWX let a his sect be actively feared by people they are supposed to protect.

There are a few other examples that I can’t really spend time to find. There was no lack of economic resources at this point. I don’t think there was any sort of disadvantage even after the SSC, because they would’ve gotten back their money after it and divided Wen assets among themselves. Yungmeng would have gotten a fair share of the plunder because it was one of the main sects active in the war.

JC had every opportunity at this point to say, ‘look we owe these particular Wens a life debt.’ That’s all he has to say to have honor on his side. They don’t need to risk anything because even JGS wouldn’t be able to say anything against a debt of honor. NMJ and LXC would both support him. 

JGS was only able to get so far because JC played right into his hands. There are several scenes with JC letting his anger and envy get the best of him. One in particular, where some cultivators gossip that people only joined YunmengJiang because of WWX and his power. JC refused to speak up as a direct response to that.

(WWX has already proven he doesn’t forget about debts)

That very same conversation indicates that by the time Pheonix Mountain situation happened, YunmengJiang was already in a good position. JGS didn’t take advantage of YMJ’s economic and martial weakness (the text indicates that they were sufficiently recovered by this point if i’m not mistaken). In fact, YMJ received a big influx of seasoned cultivators just after this incident and before WWX’s defection. He took advantage of JC’s insecurities and his willingness to cast WWX aside if it benefited his sect.

Jin GuangShan, “Sect Leader Jiang, Wei Ying is your right-hand man. You value him a lot. All of us know this. However, on the other hand, it’s hard to tell whether or not he actually respects you. In any case, I’ve been a sect leader for so many years and I’ve never seen the servant of any sect dare be so arrogant, so proud. Have you heard what they say outside? Things like how during the Sunshot Campaign the victories of the YunmengJiang Sect were all because of Wei WuXian alone—what nonsense!”

Going further back, my original point was - there was a foreshadowing of their ideological differences way back in the Dusk-Creek mountain incident.

Ch 52 - Courage Part 2 (Exiled Rebels translation)

Wei WuXian, “It’s alright if he hates me—I don’t hate him. I’ll get him onto my back the second I get hold of him. Could he possibly choke me to death while on my back?”

Jiang Cheng warned, “We aren’t even able to care for ourselves; how do we have the time to care about the trivialities of others?”

Wei WuXian, “First, this isn’t a triviality. Second, things like this, somebody will have to care about them, sooner or later!”

WWX’s first instinct is to help people. JC’s first instinct is to protect themselves. This keeps on happening again and again.

When they returned to the Lotus Pier, JC scolded WWX for trying to play the hero and was scolded by his own father to reconsider the words. (This wasn’t favoritism, this was a dad telling his son that scolding someone for saving people’s lives isn’t the right thing to do and he should consider his words)

Both of these incidences are just few of the many examples scattered throughout the novel. These are possibly the earliest indications of their ideologies being materially different. WWX would be an excellent second hand but he’s no Wen Zhuliu. If his leader doesn’t live up to his expectations of morality and righteousness, he isn’t going to stay. He may linger for a long while but eventually he’ll start to feel complicit and would want to take a different path. He fell in love with LWJ because LWJ was righteous and morally superior to others in the novel, after all.

So to conclude - JC actually didn’t want to help the Wens, text clearly states he hated them. This man planned and lead a siege even after seeing a small child at the BM.

YMJ wasn’t actually in that bad a state. It was recovering but so were the Jins. They didn’t get away from the war unscathed. YMJ had money and several new, trained cultivators.

Bear in mind, during their staged fight, JC gutted WWX while WWX broke his arm. As in, his intestines legit fell out. The fact that he recovered quickly doesn’t matter. It was a near fatal wound and WWX has very few resources at his disposal. He was living in near poverty. That trip to the BM is a grace that JC could give without spending too much effort.

idk if I have expressed my point properly. But it covers as many points as I can recall off the top of my head. Unless JC’s character changed in some significant ways, I still think they would eventually have a falling out. The are examples littered throughout the novel about their core ideals, their very character clashing in significant ways. 

[not-ur-normie]

Cristal witches, aka Sasha making headcanons for the world of Eldarya

I have this idea since forever at this point, so I figured it wouldn't hurt a fly to talk about it a little. It comes from years before when I wanted my OC to not be human but some kind of magic creature, so here we go.

English is not my first languange, so I am apologizing in advance.

Note: Throughout the post, the timespan is after the Blue Sacrifice, but I will talk about that too later on.

Who are cristal witches?

Cristal witches are witches who hold power connected to maana.

The bigger maana surronds them, the bigger their powers get

The reason they are called cristal witches is because they can form a connection with the Crystal

They are creatures with big potencial to play big roles in Eldarya, but that is exactly the point where things go wrong

More about witches

Most cristal witches are women, it's really rare when a male is born and inherits magical power, but there are cases when it happens

There were never any worry about them dying out, since the genes are VERY strong

When a male and female cristal witch have a child who is also one, they turn out way stronger then the others who only have one parent being one

Don't get me wrong, one parent makes the kid already strong as it is, but two parents are just a whole new level

Cristal witches all have tattoos, all in different colors. Most of the time the colors don't have anything to do with the powers they can hold, but lighter colors indicate lighter powers, meaning: lighter colors can't use magic that requires bigger maana usage, like black magic, or healing magic

(If you play the game, you sure know the voodoo outfit, I based the tattoos on those tattoos, so you can see the colors if you google it)

Since cristal witches are a heavily mixed community thanks to the overload of women, there are times where kids inherit both of their parents specific genetics

It's rare tho, because of the witch genes mixing up with other races' is not that common

But when it happens, it always gains attention

Cristal witches are not just cristal witches because they are connected to the Crystal, but because they literally have crystals all over their body

These crystals are mostly small ones and has the color of the tattoos

They are really human-like, so if they can hide their tattos and crystals they can perfectly blend in, which did come handy at some point

Their lifespan is about 150-200 years

They are able to open the portal to the human world

(here you can see the children of my OC [Chrystal] and Ezarel, who were lucky enough to inherit both of their parents genes, so they are witches with elf ears.)

How did they live?

Back then cristal witches lived in small communities, mostly small villages, but there where some communities living a full nomad life

Since they live so long, there were not many of them to begin with

These smaller communities lived close to each other way back then, but the nomad communities started to move around after a while

These are highly spiritual communities, especially that they are fully able to communicate with the Oracle if they wish so

They had special type of education, where witches were learning to use basic magic, while non-witches who lived with them learned alchemy

They had strict rules, that everybody needed to follow, they weren't allowed to use their power randomly

They needed to get an approval to use magic that requires more manna than your basic magic, and also to use dangerous or risky magic

If somebody went against this rule more than 5 times, they got their magic taken away

They choose new leader every year, although if a leader was good, they sticked with them and kept on picking them

The leader was not leading alone, although they made the final decisions

There were many smaller position available next to the leader, which are also chosen by the other witches

Overally they are really pieceful, so the conflicts are not that common

Cristal witches are able to do many things with magic, but it takes a lifetime to gain a really controlled power, so older, well-educated witches are highly respected and the leader was chosen from them most of the times

Some really strong witches are even able to bring back people from the death, but only if they're right there when the death happens

The Blue Sacrifice

The reason that Cristal witches were never part of the council that planned out the Sacrifice was that the races forming the council agreed that Eldarya could need them in the future (and they were damned right)

Before the Sacrifice taken place, witches were not that strong than after it happend

I imagine it the way, that once the sacrifice was made, Eldarya alone had more maana than when the two worlds were one and since witches' powers are mostly maana based, it made their powers grow way stronger than before

(I hope this makes sense lol)

Where things went wrong

As I mentioned before, they are creatures with big potential

When the Blue Sacrifice went wrong, the races in Eldarya needed the witches help the most

Almost every community, town, villige, whatever had at least one witch living with them to help out whenever there were high need

The problem is, that there was always high need; as we know Eldarya was in trouble

With the help of the witches it was easier to go for supplies to the human world, although only those communities could do this who had stronger, more experienced witches

There were even witches who were able to cast spells and make the field able to grow some edible plants

And this is exactly where things went terribly wrong

Since cristal witches have a high value, there were many who hunted them or tortured them for their powers

Why? Well, I know all the above reasons would be enough, but there are more to it

Cristal witches' blood is able to make the lifespan of whoever drinks it longer

And not just that, but it can completely function as food, it stops hunger for longer periods of time (weeks, sometimes months, depending on power) and makes the immune system 100% healthy

It was also used for really expensive medication

You know what else is really valuable? The tears of witches.

It can fasten healing and was used for many medication as well as their blood

But only tears that hold heavy emotions count, since the tear drops turn into little crystals

These informations spread real fast after a while and witch hunts became so serious that at one point several communities started to think that it would be better to sacrifice them as well so maybe Eldarya could gain its full balance [the Guard of El also wanted this, just in case you were curious]

Witches would've 100% sacrificed themselfs if they got asked by the time the Blue Sacrfice happend

But after all the terror they went through, their trust was completely broken

They did not want to die for all these selfish folks wanting to murder them, not thinking about their race for a single second

So one day they completely vanished

Nobody knows how exactly, the common guess was that they opened the portal and moved to the human world, giving up on their magic

I mean everything was better than dying for your murderers

After the vanish

Of course, not all of the witches vanished, but the witch communities that lived together

Those who lived in certain places helping out stayed there

Back then the Guard of El had a witch with them too

Sadly, they got scared of her possibly gaining control over the guard, since she was very much loved... So they decided to kill her [yes, they wanted to sacrifice her, and then killed her, way to go]

The last known cristal witch was a male, living with the Fenghuangs, but he died just before The Origins' story starts

But... Are they really all gone?

Okaaaay soooo I bet there are stuff in this which doesn't exactly fit the story and/or I remember incorrectly, but it is what it is.

On the very first art you can see my OC named Chrystal. Well, she arrives to Eldarya the same way Erika did in the original story, the main difference is that she turnes out to be a cristal witch and this fact leaves the guard in a numb shock. Suddenly the only living cristal witch is with them and that is changing their situation entirely.

I am sure I will write down Chrystals story with illustratons and whatnot, but currently I am working on my Moonligh Lovers' OC's illus, so that will take some time.

Anyway, this will have another part, I wanna at least introduce Chrystal so you can see a cristal witch in action, hurray.

Ah, yeah, if there are facts from the game messed up, feel free to tell me, I am not biting. You can also use this idea for your ocs, I don't mind. Hugs<3