#i literally can only dream of having a clean vanity not covered in all my perfume and makeup lmao

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

𓅨 Love in the Dark: Chapter Two

Love in the Dark: You discover an intense connection with an enigmatic dream lover, yearning for a love beyond physical appearances. As your encounters blur the lines between the waking world and the Dreaming, your grapple with the complexities of desire, friendship, and mortality. Can you truly love in the dark?

Warnings: Hot Make Out.

To Note: Morpheus/Dream x NAMEDFem!Reader.

Word Count: ~2.5k

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You don't always spend your dreams within his arms. You know he is busy with his tasks in the Dreaming and often spent your free time with the denizens of the realm. It was ridiculous to think your free time consists of you not having sex. But alas, you can't fuck away your real life relationship woes with a dream or nightmare you've never actually seen. Even if he was the Adonis of your dreams.

Dreams. Hah! You snicker at yourself because was your Dream Lover anything but the Adonis of your dreams? Perhaps an Adonis with a personality, one you have come to adore and cherish. Yes, your Dream Lover is your best friend, closest confidant, and, well, your dream lover. And to think you had only wanted a friend to talk to! That effort has failed rather spectacularly.

"Kora!" At the call of your name, you look up to see Fēlix, the dream of luck and happiness, and your best friend during the night. The dream resembles a baby faced boy with gentle blue eyes and luscious blond hair you were jealous of the softness. That's were the humanness stops. While he has pale skin, all throughout his body glimmers gold, like someone has pat him down with gold leaf and it has stuck, firmly. Then there's the massive cardinal compass smack dab in the center of his chest that glows with golden ethereal light. It doesn't help that Fēlix only wore trousers and his fancy robe which never fully covers his chest.

Your dream best friend draws attention everywhere he goes both for his inhumanely beautiful looks and literally glowing warmth. Have you mentioned that his hair also seems to float around like it doesn't understand the concept of gravity? It is entirely unfair that your Dream Lover and your dream best friend are both cruelly beautiful and you are just you.

"Hey Fē," you greet, looking up from the bin of peaches you had been absentmindedly thinking over. You have a partially eaten one in your hand and the juices have long since ran down your palm to your wrist. Nothing that couldn't be licked clean later.

Fēlix beams, his smile bright enough to chase away any lingering shadows that occasionally haunt you for attention. Some nightmares were like needy puppies. "I thought you'd be with him tonight," he says, the compass on his chest glowing a bit brighter.

You shrug, trying to appear nonchalant. "He's busy, I guess. Not every night is about us. Also, you don't need every detail of my night time sex life."

Fēlix's laughter rings out, melodic and infectious. "But that's why I'm friends with you! To get all the juicy moments of your mysterious tryst with whomever has captured your heart." You snort at him and he chuckles before continuing, "still the realist, I see."

"Someone has to be," you reply, a smirk tugging at your lips. You pluck a peach from the bin and toss it to him. He catches it effortlessly, his movements as fluid as a ballerina. He is perfect at everything and if you weren't acutely aware that he was made to be perfect, you would be raging with jealousy.

"Have you ever wondered what he looks like?" Fēlix asks, biting into the peach with relish. His head tilts and tuffs of blond hair float with the motion.

"Every night," you admit. "But it's part of our deal."

"Strange deal," he muses, wiping juice from his chin. "To love someone without ever seeing them."

You think about your dream lover's voice, how it wraps around you like velvet in the dark. Just like how his touch brings you such ecstasy. "Love doesn't need eyes," you say softly. "And this way vanity doesn't cloud our judgment.”

"Vanity doesn't cloud your judgement," Fēlix corrects you with smirk. "Your dream lover, however, is completely smitten."

"I know what I look like, Fē, he didn't make a vain choice." You say with a snort. Slowly moving away from the peaches and towards the fountain at the center of the market. You take a seat. "it's the only thing that brings me true happiness because in the waking world there is so much toxic vanity, you can never truly know who you are dating until they show their true colors."

Fēlix nods, thoughtful. "True enough. But curiosity is a powerful thing."

"I have my moments," you admit with a wry smile. "that's why you're friends with me, remember?"

"Oh no, I'm just here for the retelling of your spicy, passionate sex life." He chuckles in fake exaggeration before he sits beside you on the edge of the fountain. The water sparkles under the dream sky, casting shimmering reflections on both of you. "How's real life treating you?" he asks, voice falling gentle once more.

"Real life's... real," you say with a sigh. "Nothing magical about it."

"Then let's make this moment count," he suggests, holding up his half-eaten peach like a toast.

You touch your own peach against his and take a bite, savoring the sweetness that seems more intense here in the Dreaming.

As you savor the last bits of the peach's sweetness, Fēlix suddenly glances over his shoulder, his golden compass glowing a bit brighter. "Duty calls," he says, standing up with a reluctant sigh. "Dreamers need their luck."

"Of course," you say, watching him float away with a wave. His presence always feels like sunshine, even in the Dreaming's twilight. Looking down at your eaten peach, you watch in satisfaction as the pit dissolves in your fingers and golden sand floats up, only to disappear. Oh how you loved the magic of this realm!

You wander through the market, letting the surreal scenery of the Dreaming envelop you. Stalls burst with colors you can't name and scents that tug at long-forgotten memories. It never ceases to amaze you how vibrant and alive this place is. You pass by a quaint bed and breakfast nestled between two towering dreamscapes. The sign reads "The Slumbering Sanctuary." It's a cozy, ivy-covered building that radiates warmth. You hear commotion inside and decide to peek in.

"Help! Someone, please!"

You step inside to find a flurry of activity. Dreams shaped like fluttering sheets of parchment dart around, their faces etched with worry as they fret to and fro. You haven't seen such panicked dreams in ages.

"What's going on?" you ask one of them, who looks particularly harried.

"Oh, it's a disaster!" the dream exclaims, nearly colliding with you as it flits by, it's sheet billowing and wafting a pleasant scent of detergent. Freshly showered it seems. "We have a large number of guests arriving soon—more than we've ever had! And we're terribly understaffed because of the recent surge in mortal dreams."

You can see the chaos: beds unmade, tables unset, and dream dust settling on everything. The master of the realm had been gone for so long that the workload and bookings had slowed down to the point of no business. Now that the realm is thriving once more, the dreams look frazzled and overworked.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" you offer.

The flustered sheet pauses for a moment, considering your words. Then the edges of it's sheet begins to flap excitedly. "That would be wonderful! Could you help us prepare the rooms? We're so behind schedule."

"Of course," you say, rolling up your sleeves—well, metaphorically speaking since you're in the Dreaming and the clothes you wear have no sleeves. "Just point and I'll take care of it."

You dive into the whirlwind of activity, your hands busy smoothing bedspreads and fluffing pillows. The sheets whisper against your skin as you tuck them in, and the dream dust glows faintly in the soft light filtering through the windows.

"Thank you, thank you," one of the parchment-like dreams flutters around you, clearly relieved. "The guests will be here any moment."

"No problem," you reply, straightening up and surveying your work with satisfaction. "Just happy to help."

You move to the next room, your thoughts wandering to your dream lover. You wonder where he is tonight, what duties might be keeping him away from you. As you finish adjusting the final pillow, a soft breeze rustles through the room, carrying with it a familiar scent.

Before you can turn around, strong arms wrap around your waist, pulling you into the linen closet adjacent to the room. The door clicks shut behind you, plunging you into darkness.

"You greeted everyone but me, my love," his voice purrs in your ear, a low vibration that sends shivers down your spine.

"Busy night," you manage to say in a pathetic excuse, heart racing as his hands slide up your arms.

His touch sends electric currents through your skin, spreading need to every corner. "Not too busy for you," he murmurs, his voice a deep, resonant hum that vibrates against your ear. "Since you so thoughtfully volunteered yourself.”

You shiver as his hands glide from your arms to your wrists, capturing them gently but firmly. He raises one of your hands to his lips, and you can feel the warmth of his breath against your skin. His lips part slightly, and you gasp when his tongue flicks out, tracing the line of dried peach juice from your wrist.

The sensation is intoxicating. His tongue is soft but insistent, each stroke sending ripples of pleasure through you. He moves slowly, savoring every taste, as if the juice were a rare nectar. Your knees weaken as he works his way up from your wrist to the tips of your fingers.

When he reaches your fingertips, he takes each one into his mouth, sucking gently before releasing them with a soft pop. "You taste divine," he whispers against your skin, the words vibrating through you like a caress.

Your breath hitches as he moves to your other wrist, repeating the ritual with the same deliberate slowness. The darkness of the linen closet amplifies every touch, every sensation. His tongue dances along your skin, tracing patterns that make you dizzy with desire.

You close your eyes and let yourself sink into the feeling. His hands continue to roam over your body, exploring every curve and contour with a familiarity that makes you feel both vulnerable and cherished.

When he finally releases your wrists, you're trembling. You can feel his breath against your neck now, warm and inviting. "I missed you," he says softly, and there's an edge to his voice that makes your pulse quicken even more. His words were so weak, vulnerable even, yet filled with longing.

You open your mouth to respond but find that words have abandoned you. Instead, you reach out in the darkness, finding his face by touch alone. Your fingers trace the sharp lines of his jaw, the softness of his lips.

He captures one of your hands again, bringing it to his mouth to kiss each fingertip tenderly. "Let's not waste any more time," he murmurs against your skin.

His hands slide under your shirt, the heat of his palms igniting a fire on your skin. Each touch is deliberate, a slow exploration that leaves you breathless. He pulls you closer, his body pressing against yours in the confined space of the linen closet. The scent of him surrounds you, a heady mix of earth and something darker, more primal.

His lips find your neck, and you tilt your head back to give him better access. He kisses a path from your collarbone to the sensitive spot just below your ear, his tongue flicking out to taste you. You shudder, fingers gripping his shoulders for support as he continues his assault on your senses.

You feel his breath hot against your skin as he murmurs your name, the sound of it dripping like ecstasy. His hands move higher, fingers grazing the edge of your bra before slipping beneath it. You arch into his touch, craving more of the electric connection between you.

He captures your lips in a searing kiss, his mouth moving against yours with an urgency that leaves you dizzy. His tongue explores your mouth, tasting and teasing until you're gasping for breath. You respond with equal fervor, hands tangling in his hair as you pull him closer.

His hands continue their journey beneath your clothing, tracing patterns on your skin that make you ache with need. When he finally cups your breasts, you moan into his mouth, the sound swallowed by his kiss. His thumbs circle your nipples through the fabric, sending jolts of pleasure through you.

You can feel his desire pressing against you, hard and insistent. It mirrors your own longing, a need that has been building with every touch, every kiss. You break away from his mouth just long enough to catch your breath before diving back in, kissing him with a hunger that surprises even you.

You melt into his kiss, every nerve in your body electrified by his touch. His hands continue to explore, mapping out the contours of your body with a reverence that makes your heart ache. You lose yourself in the sensation, in the heat and darkness and the overwhelming need that pulses between you.

Time loses meaning in the Dreaming, each moment stretching out like a ribbon of desire. His kisses become more urgent, more insistent, and you respond with equal fervor. Your fingers dig into his shoulders as you pull him closer, needing to feel every inch of him against you.

But all too soon, the edges of your reality start to blur. You can feel the pull of the waking world, like a distant tug at the back of your mind. You break away from his mouth with a gasp, your forehead resting against his as you struggle to catch your breath.

"I don't want to wake up," you whisper, your voice tinged with desperation. "I want to stay here with you."

His hands cup your face, thumbs brushing away the tears that have begun to fall. "You have to wake up, Kora," he says softly, his voice filled with a sorrow that mirrors your own. "You are mortal. You have a life to live in the waking world."

You shake your head, pressing closer to him as if that could somehow anchor you here in the Dreaming. "But I'm only truly happy here," you confess. "The waking world is so... empty without you."

He kisses your forehead, a tender gesture that sends a fresh wave of longing through you. "I know," he murmurs against your skin. "But you have responsibilities there. People who care about you."

You close your eyes, trying to hold onto this moment for just a little longer. The scent of him surrounds you, grounding you even as reality begins to intrude. "I wish I could stay," you say softly.

"So do I," he replies, his voice heavy with regret. "But we will always have our nights together."

The room around you starts to dissolve, the dreamscape fading into the harsh light of morning. You cling to him for one last moment, memorizing the feel of his arms around you.

"I'll be waiting for you," he whispers as the world around you shifts and changes.

And then you're awake, lying in your bed with the morning light streaming through the window. The familiar ache of longing settles in your chest as reality crashes down around you.

Another day in the waking world begins, but all you can think about is returning to him tonight.

Date Published: 9/20/24

Last Edit: 9/20/24

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[hispipsqueak]

Sweet Little Sister

Tenya Iida x F!Reader x Tensei Iida NSFW

TW: STEPCEST. I cannot stress this enough. If you do not like stepcest, skip this fic my friend. Reader is the Iida brother’s new stepsister and things get wild. All characters are 18+.

Other TW: unprotected sex, threesome, a lot of little sister/big brother type stuff, slight yandere Iida brothers, oral F and M receiving.

WC: 4k

A/N: Y’all have no idea how long I have been putting off writing the ending because it was HARD and I have like one brain cell. This fic has been the bane of my existence and I’m exhausted. I really hope you guys enjoy this. Please send me love....and snacks. I’m gonna go to bed now.

You fixed your skirt for the millionth time. You were going to finally meet your future stepbrothers for dinner tonight and you were a bundle of nerves.

Your mom had been dating a new man recently who she was head over heels for. They had been spending so much time together and he spoiled her, flying her abroad on weekend getaways all the time. Apparently, he had popped the question when they were in Greece last week and the two of them were flying in tonight to celebrate with both families. All you knew was he had two sons, both a little older than you. However, since the romance had been so quick, you hadn’t met them yet.

You were the last to arrive for dinner, and as you pulled up to the house, the house that you soon would all share, your jaw dropped. It was MASSIVE, nothing short of an estate. You knew your future stepdad was rich, but this was certainly a step up from your measly 2 bedroom apartment you shared with your mother.

You rang the doorbell, patting down your outfit one more time before the door swung open. A tall man opened the door and your eyes widened. His white button up stretched over his broad chest and you quickly pulled your eyes up to his face. He had navy hair, neatly combed back and a bright beaming smile.

“You must be Y/N! I’m Tensei!”. He pulled you into a tight hug and you were pressed into his chest. He smelled like pine and clean laundry and you felt your heart race. He let go of you and smiled, his blue eyes sparkling. 

“Sorry! I just figured, since we are going to be brother and sister, we better get close!” 

Right. Brother. This was your big brother and you could NOT think of him any other way. You forced a smile on your face, and nodded.

“You’re right! It’s great to finally meet you.”

“There you are – oh hello. I apologize for my interruption! I’m Tenya Iida.” Tensei’s brother, a literal carbon copy of him, just with square glasses perched in front of his blue eyes, walked into the room. You looked up at both of them, and felt very small.

“Tenya, no need to be so formal. Y/N is our new little sister, and we should be bonding!” Tensei teased, poking Tenya in the ribs. A bright blush crept on his cheeks and the two of them argued.

“I’m glad the three of you seem to be getting along well!” A man who resembled the two, only older with a grey streak in his hair smiled. Your mother stood next to him, the sparkly diamond standing out on her hand.

“Let’s get to dinner.”

Somehow you ended up sitting between Tensei and Tenya at the long table. Your parents were too busy being lovestruck teenagers to really pay the three of you any mind, and you ate your dinner in awkward silence until Tensei began speaking.

“Y/N, I hope you like your bedroom here! It’s on the top floor but it’s between both mine and Tenya’s so if you ever need your big brothers, we are right next door!”

You giggled, “Thank you. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”

Tenya nodded solemnly, “It’s our duty as older brothers to protect you! We will take this responsibility seriously!” 

You bit back a laugh. “Thank you Tenya. I already feel very welcome and safe.”

The three of you continued talking and soon, dinner was over. Both of the brothers insisted you head up to your room as they cleaned up, and your parents headed to their room which was thankfully, in another wing of the house.

You made your way up the stairs and opened the door that Tensei had directed you to and it was very...pink. There were pink lilies on the nightstand and a huge baby pink comforter on the bed surrounded by fluffy pastel pillows. A white vanity sat in the corner with a matching chair and white and pink dressers stood against the wall.

You supposed they were really glad to have a little sister and you smiled at the card that your new older brothers signed. You pulled your overnight bag open and searched for clothes to sleep in. The rest of your stuff would be arriving tomorrow, so you were stuck wearing shorts a little too small and a tank top that left very little to the imagination. You looked in the mirror. Maybe you could ask Tensei for a shirt to cover up, As if reading your mind, a knock at the door interrupted your thoughts.

“I just came by to…say goodnight!” Tensei’s eyes trailed down, before he blinked and looked back at your face. You could see his ears reddening and crossed your arms in an attempt to hide your cleavage.

“Um, actually I was wondering if I could borrow a shirt, Tensei? I’m so sorry, it seems that I haven’t worn this in a lot longer than I thought.” You laughed nervously.

Tensei straightened up.

“Of course! I’ll uh, be right back!” He sped off and returned with a large grey t-shirt that you immediately threw on over yourself. As you pulled it over yourself, you didn’t see Tensei’s eyes roam down your exposed legs. You turned to him. “Thank you so much Tensei. Sweet dreams!” You said, giving him a tight hug. He nodded and headed back to his room, passing Tenya in the hallway. Tenya gave him a curious look and Tensei just returned a tight-lipped smile before locking his door and collapsing on his bed, his cock straining against his boxers. 

------

The next morning you woke up refreshed and wanting to thank your new brothers for their hospitality. You headed out to the hall to see if they were awake. You opened the door to see Tenya standing there.

"Hey! I was just looking for you! Good morning Tenya." You smiled at him. 

"Good morning." He said looking at you curiously. "Is that Tensei's shirt?" 

You looked down and gave a sheepish grin. 

"Oh! Yes, I had another shirt on but it was a little too small so he let me borrow this last night."  

Tenya had an unreadable look on his face. You cocked your head to the side.

"Um...so anyway, I was wondering if you wanted breakfast? I wanted to show my appreciation for the warm welcome to my new brothers and I love to cook so it's my pleasure." You smiled at him. He opened his mouth, as if to say something, then just nodded.

"Uh...thank you, Y/N that would be wonderful. I'll show you around the kitchen." He said, placing a hand on your shoulder. He pulled back. "Apologies!"

You laughed.

"Tenya, please. We live together. I want you to feel comfortable around me!" You pulled him into a hug, your face in his chest.

Tenya's heart raced and he prayed you couldn't feel his growing erection. You were so soft and smelled so good and fuck you looked incredible in those tiny shorts, though he felt a strange pang of jealousy over you wearing his brother's shirt.

She's your sister. Your little sister. That's disgusting and disgraceful.  

His head raced with thoughts and he felt so ashamed but the taboo aspect fueled the fire burning inside him. 

You pulled away, looking up at him with those beautiful bright eyes. His heart thumped in his ears.

"Oh, good morning!" 

Tensei's door swung open. He stood shirtless in a pair of red flannel pajama pants and neither of the brothers missed how your eyes were drawn to his muscular chest before you composed yourself.

Tenya glared at Tensei, who gave an easygoing smile in return.

"I hope you slept well, little sister." Tensei asked you. You nodded and thanked him again for the shirt.

"I hope you're hungry. I'm making breakfast." You grinned as the three of you headed to the kitchen. Tensei chuckled.

"That sounds wonderful Y/N. Do you need any help?" 

You shook your head. "Nope! Let me treat you both as a thank you. I've always wanted older brothers to make food for and dote on." You giggled. "Maybe I watch too much anime but I always loved that idea."

Both brothers sat at the island in the kitchen watching you as you flitted about grabbing ingredients and utensils to use. You reached for a box of flour on a high shelf and your shorts ran up even higher, giving them an eyeful of the curve of your ass. Tensei bit his lip, and Tenya cleared his throat. "Allow me!"

You spun around, "No way! I told you. I can handle making my brother's breakfast!" You turned back to the cabinet, jumping up to reach. 

Even though you had Tensei's shirt on, your breasts jiggled and bounced with each jump, and you made soft panting noises as you attempted to pull the box down. Both of them were grateful for the island that prevented you from seeing their cocks fully aroused now.

You, having finally gotten everything you needed, turned away from them again as you began to cook on the stovetop. Tensei had finally had enough. As you talked about whatever it was you were talking about, he slipped his cock over the waistband of his pants, palming it slowly. You just looked so fucking nice, and for a moment Tensei could see you as his cute little housewife and not his innocent little sister.

Or maybe it turned him on more to think of you as both...fuck what was the matter with him? He couldn’t think about it too long as he had more pressing matters at hand, literally.

Neither you nor Tenya seemed to notice he was preoccupied and you continued joking and laughing. Suddenly you whipped around to face him. His hand froze on his cock and he coughed to cover his discomfort. 

“Tensei, how do you like your eggs?”, You asked innocently, completely oblivious to the death grip he had on his cock underneath the island.

“Uh...erm, anyway is fine! I’m sure they’ll be delicious if you cooked them.” He stammered out, praying you didn’t continue the conversation. You smiled, and turned to ask Tenya his preferences. Once Tensei was sure you were distracted, he slowly pumped his hand up and down his cock again. Precum leaked from the tip and knowing you could catch him, knowing you were less than 5 feet from him, only fueled his arousal. What would you do if you caught him? Would you be disgusted and upset? Or would you offer to help, offer to take care of your big brother?

God he was so close, so close imagining your hands wrapped around him, your beautiful face looking up at him, so sweetly, so innocently –

“NHGG!” he groaned, shoving his cock in his pants as his cum spilled over his hand. He could feel the fabric spreading his seed all over his cock and he felt uncomfortably sticky.

“Are you okay, big brother?” Your eyes were wide with worry. He turned to face both you and Tenya. 

“Y-yes! Sorry, muscle cramp in my leg. Happens sometimes, Sorry!” He smiled reassuringly as the cold fabric stuck to his softening cock. You still looked worried and he flashed you a bright grin. “I promise, I’m fine.”

You nodded and turned back to the food. Tensei met Tenya’s stare, the younger man’s eyes narrowed to slits. 

Oblivious, you plated the food. 

“Let’s eat!”

--------

The three of you navigated your new sibling relationship as well as possible. You loved your new older brothers and fussed over them daily, cooking for them and doting over them any time they were home. Your mom and stepdad, seeing how well the three of you got along, often left the three of you home while they jetted to far off countries on lavish vacations.

The boys loved the attention from you. Their packed lunches, your soft hands rubbing their shoulders or playing with their hair as they laid on the couch after a long day. You were so sweet and beautiful as you flitted around the house, cooking dinner or doing chores. And those days where they would come home to find you lounging by the pool outside? Your tiny swimsuit leaving little to the imagination? Well those were just bonuses.

Those nights, as you slept soundly in your bed, on the other side of the wall, Tenya gripped his cock tightly. Your curves ran through his mind and he spat on his throbbing cock as he thought about you. Your soft touches and giggles replayed in his head. Thoughts of when the two of you were alone and you’d curl up against him on the couch as you watched a movie, or fell asleep on his chest. You trusted him so much to protect you and love you like an older brother should and here he was, fantasizing about stretching your sweet little pussy on his cock, about making you cry out his name. 

Fuck, or when your cute little voice rang out each morning, “Good morning big brother!”. He wanted to hear you scream for him, beg your big brother to fuck you harder. He wanted to ruin you and make you his. He panted as he picked up speed, fucking his hand. His hips jerked and he was so close. 

A noise came from your room, a soft mewl. Tenya pressed his ear to the wall. He could hear movement and another soft sigh. Were you touching yourself too? Were you imagining his cock filling you up? He strained to hear and made out your cute little breaths and another low moan. His eyes rolled back and he groaned as his cum shot over his abs and chest. He listened to hear if you were awake and heard nothing more from your room. Sighing, he reached to his nightstand to clean himself.

-----

Days passed and you had been in an exceptionally good mood. At first, Tensei and Tenya both thought you were just in a good mood. But they started to notice you looking at your phone more, giggling and blushing at the screen. When they would ask, you would mumble “nothing” as you typed a response. You also spent more days out of the house than usual, saying you were spending time with friends or running errands. Finally one night, as the three of you sat at the table, you spoke up.

“I met a guy.”

Tenya’s fork clattered to his plate and Tensei gritted his teeth.

“His name is Kaito. He’s really sweet and really cute. He wants to take me out to dinner this week but I wanted him to meet you two first.” You smiled, looking up at your older brothers who were glaring daggers at their food.

Tenya spoke first.

“Where did you meet this man?”, he asked, his eyes burning a whole into the tablecloth.

“At the store as I was getting some groceries. He helped carry my bags to the car.” Your eyes flickered to both your brothers, confused at the tension in the air.

“So this man just picks up women at the grocery store?”, Tensei asked, his tone cold.

Your skin prickled.

“What? No, of course not. He saw I was struggling and offered to help me. Then we got to talking and…”

Tenya looked at you, his eyebrows furrowed.

“If you are having difficulty getting groceries, Tensei or I will join you so these men don’t prey on you. What if he had followed you home? Or attacked you in the car?”

You squeezed your eyes shut. How was this the conclusion they were reaching?

“Nothing happened! And clearly he is a nice man, as he wants to meet you and take me out.” Your voice wavered as 2 pairs of navy eyes stared you down.

“Is this who you’ve been texting?”, Tensei interrupted you.

You looked at him questioningly,

“Why does it matter who I’m–”

“ANSWER THE QUESTION.” Tenya’s hand slammed on the table.

Your lip trembled. Fighting back tears, you whispered. “Yes.”

Tensei looked exasperated. Closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, he reached out to you and you flinched.

“We are just worried about you. You’re our sweet little sister and we want to make sure no one hurts you ever.”

Tenya reached out to your other arm.

“I apologize, dear sister. I just want you to be safe and unharmed.”

You stared blankly at the table, before turning from both of them and walking to your room, slamming the door.

------

As your phone buzzed on the couch that night, it wasn’t too difficult for your older brothers to figure out your password. And it was even easier to find this Kaito guy online and threaten him until he agreed to cut contact with you.

After all, your big brothers would always protect you.

-----

The next day, as you read and re-read the messages from Kaito, your heart broke. You curled up against your older brothers on the couch. 

“You were right.” You sobbed into Tensei’s shoulder, Tenya’s chest pressed against your back. “I should have never argued with you two.”

The boys held you close between them. 

“Shh, it’s okay. We’ll take care of you. Your big brothers are here for you.” Tenya pressed his lips to your hair as Tensei pulled you into his chest. You could hear his heartbeat through his thin shirt. You felt Tenya rub soft soothing circles on your back and you sniffled, turning so you could face both of them.

“I’m..*hic* sorry for being *hic* so emotional.” You choked out, rubbing your eyes. You blinked and both boys looked at you. They both had such adoration in their eyes and looked at you like you hung the moon. You knew they would always be there for you.

You kissed Tensei on the cheek and turned, kissing Tenya on the cheek. Both boys blushed furiously and your breath caught in your throat as they each pressed a kiss to your cheeks, slightly closer to your lips. 

Maybe it was the overwhelming emotions that filled you right now, or maybe it was always there, lying dormant inside of you. But you felt a tingle in your core and pressed another soft kiss to Tenya’s face, this time ghosting the edge of his lips before placing an identical one to Tensei.

Your body stilled as you waited to see what they would do. Tensei looked in your eyes before pressing his lips to yours. Your hand clutched at his shirt as he licked your lip. You opened your mouth to him and he hungrily tasted you. You broke apart, and Tenya took this opportunity to pull you towards him.

He slammed his lips to yours as Tensei kissed down your neck and collarbone. Where Tensei was confident in his kisses, Tenya was desperate. You moaned into Tenya’s mouth as Tensei bit a particularly sensitive spot on your neck. Your bodies were so close and you could feel Tenya’s erection through his pants, pressing against your thigh.

You pulled back. 

“We shouldn’t...I’m so sorry, this is…” You stammered,

Tensei kissed your temple and Tenya pressed his hand to your cheek.

“Let us take care of you, little sister. Let your big brothers make it all better.” 

Flustered you gave in to your body and continued reaching down, palming Tenya through his slacks. You felt his body shiver as you ran your fingers up and down the shaft. Pulling away from both of them you pulled off your sweater, revealing your body to them. Their cocks ached so much for you, and seeing you like this, in a way they had only imagined, turned them feral.

Tensei tugged at your legs, pushing you onto your back. You looked up at your big brothers and your eyes widened.

“You’re so beautiful.” Tensei whispered, his fingers tracing your belly. Tenya nodded, his eyes trained on your breasts in the lacy white bra you wore. He slid the strap down your shoulder and when you didn’t protest, unhooked the clasp in the front. Your breasts spilled out and he ran his fingers over your hardening nipples.

Tensei tugged down your legging and panties and you were naked before them, looking like a sweet lamb between two hungry wolves. He pressed a kiss to your lower belly, and you whimpered. His cerulean eyes met yours and you gave a soft nod for him to keep going. His lips met your folds and he lapped at your slit hungrily. Your hips bucked involuntarily and you could feel his grin against you.

“Easy now sweetheart, your big brother is going to take care of you.” His hands pressed your hips down firmly as he continued to devour your cunt.

Your eyes rolled back and you met Tenya’s eager eyes. His erection was pressing painfully through his pants and you tugged at the fabric, silently begging for him. He threw off his slacks and you could see the wet mark on the front of his boxers. Running your fingers over it, you opened your mouth and looked at him expectantly.

That was all it took. Tenya slid his boxers off, pressing the head of his dick against your soft lips. You gave kitten licks, staring into his eyes as best you could as you were still being tantalized by Tensei’s tongue. Tenya let out a grunt as you continued to tease his cock, slowly taking it deeper into your mouth. Tensei plunged his tongue deep inside you and you let out a loud moan around Tenya.

“F-fuck...so good, princess.” Tenya choked out, pulling you closer onto his cock. You felt yourself getting closer to climax as Tensei flicked his tongue over your clit. You gasped around Tenya’s thick member and he used this opportunity to push himself deeper down your throat. Stars danced in your eyes and your thighs strained under Tensei’s grip.

“That’s it baby girl, cum all over your big brother’s face.”

His lewd words, the taboo nature of it all, and the helplessness you felt as you choked on Tenya’s cock and were being held down by Tensei...you cried out as you gushed all over Tensei’s face. 

“Mmm….that’s it sweetheart.” Tensei murmured as he guzzled down your arousal. Your eyes fluttered and you whimpered as you Tenya lazily fucked your face.

Tensei looked at Tenya and wordlessly, the brothers switched places and you were flipped onto your knees. Tenya’s thick cock was pressed against your entrance and you gulped at how big it felt. He ran his hands over your hips.

“Shh...be a sweet little sister for your brothers.” 

Tensei’s cock was in front of your mouth and he tapped it on your mouth. You parted your lips and both brothers slid inside you. You gasped at the stretch and tried to turn your head towards Tenya, but Tensei gripped your face, and you swirled your tongue around his cock. 

“So tight...god...such a perfect little girl.” Tenya groaned, his fingertips digging into your skin. Tensei tugged your hair as he plunged deeper into your mouth. You bounced between the brother’s cocks as they worshipped your body, praising you for being their good girl.

“So beautiful, Y/N. You’re so good to us.” Tensei whispered.

You could feel Tenya’s thrusts getting sloppier as he pounded into you faster and faster. He pulled your arms behind your back, so you were at their mercy. Tensei’s cock was slamming the back of your throat, and Tenya was fucking you so deep you felt like you were going to pass out. Your limbs felt like jelly and the only thing holding you upright was the sheer force of them fucking you from each end.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck...gonna cum.” Tenya breathed out, his grip on you was almost painful and your arms were sore from how hard he tugged on them. Tensei seemed to be reaching his peak too, as his breaths were becoming ragged. You swallowed around his cock and he let out a deep groan, spilling his seed down your throat. You clenched around Tenya and he swore as he shot ropes of hot cum deep inside you. The twitching of his cock set you off and your muscles clenched as you whimpered out. You felt like sparks were fluttering from your nerves and the boys held you as you came down from your high. 

Your eyes closed and you could only faintly feel them cleaning you up and someone carrying you to your bed. Your hands reached out and you felt the bed shift as each man climbed into your pink bed on either side of you.

Content, you fell asleep between your big brothers.

[twelfth-harbinger]

A/n: Greetings! Request away! Here’s a sample of my writing! Just a few cute head cannons I’ve been dreaming up! — I plan do Liyue next! Enjoy ^^!

Nightly Routines — Monstadt

Warnings: None! All Sfw!

Mentions: Bed time routines and nightly activities!

Lisa

She likes to read before before bed, I suppose this is not much of a surprise but alas...

How could she not allow herself to be lost in the sweet confines of a book in the late night hour?

If she is not reading — the Purple Rose is experimenting with an array of different ingredients.

Crafting potions... she so eagerly wants others to try.

“Come now, these are just harmless concoctions. Nothing dangerous cutie. Nothing that a Calla Lilly won’t heal.”

Sometimes she’ll read Klee a book before her bedtime.

Reading with company like Klee is always a treat.

Lisa likes to “save energy”, with all the book keeping work she has to do during the day.

Hunting down those who have overdue books.. at night is so taxing.

She’s usually in bed early to be ready for the next day to come.

Sometimes she’ll have long talks with Jean about miscellaneous things that happen throughout their day.

It’s very relaxing and Lisa gives great advice.

Klee comes up a lot she just worries about those bombs..

Jean

She’s doesn’t really have a bed time routine.

She falls asleep at her desk instead of in a proper bed. It worries Lisa and Barbara.

What’s sleep? She’s always up late into the night doing paperwork “It’s exhausting just looking at the work pile” — Kaeya

Though, when Jean is able to finish up for the day without any issues, she likes to take the time to soak in a hot bath.

She stays inside for as long as she can.

It simply relaxes her muscles and relieves any tension the day might’ve given her.

Lisa joins her sometimes, seems that woman gives her peace of mind.

When she’s all tucked in at night she enjoys indulging in books akin to Lisa.

Reading tales of legendary heroes. Her favorite being the King of Khaenri’ah.

Honestly, she does not like sleeping. She has asked Lisa for a potion that keeps her awake.

But, when she finally does wish to sleep she has a hard time doing so and well...asks Lisa for aide.

Lisa reads her a bedtime story too or rather she tells her stories about the strong and admirable people she has met at Sumeru Arcademia. — This occurs during their long late night talks.

Kaeya

He wouldn’t be Kaeya if he didn’t have a glass of wine before bed.

He’s enjoys the company of Lisa from time to time they will share a glass.

Before going to bed and leaving for the night, he checks in on Klee.

He makes sure she’s alright but, that’s usually only after she has caused trouble for Jean that day.

Those pointers seem to go to waste. Pls don’t report him.

Kaeya likes to take his time before getting into bed.

He usually takes off his clothes and strips down to his bottoms. Or naked

Yes, he removes his eye patch but, only his reflection has seen what lies underneath.

Kaeya stargazes as he enjoys his nightly glass of sparkling wine.

Once he has had a few and they’ve warmed his insides, he’ll take a cool shower to regulate his body temperature.

It relaxes him more than a hot bath or shower would.

When he’s out falls asleep fairly quickly.

Diluc

He does not sleep much.

Given his nightly rounds keeping Monstadt safe from any posing threats, overseeing Monstadt’s wine industry and running the Dawn Winery...

Diluc escapes sleeps like Houdini.

Not that he wants to but he simply doesn’t have the time.

Like his voice line for relax is literally “Guess we can rest for a bit” like he didn’t have any plans on doing that before lmao poor Diluc.

He cares about the safety of Monstadt and her people.

Kaeya may be an ass at times but, he can tell that even he worries about his lack of sleep.

When he does have a moment to relax, he will play a round of chess with his butler while drinking grape juice.

He likes to drink that before bed instead of wine in difference to Kaeya.

Diluc often gazes at the collection of artwork he has around the manor.

It’s so intricately detailed, many thoughts and emotions were sewn into each of the piece by its maker. He notices it all.

He does all these things because he’s so used to being up for long periods of time that when it is finally time to rest his head. He’s up doing these idle things.

Diluc lies in bed for a long while before drifting off into a restless sleep, before he even realizes it — sometimes the sun rises and he needs to work yet again.

Klee

She’s never truly tired when her bedtime rolls around.

Always doing bomb experiments inside of her “room”

The guard that stands outside her door is genuinely scared they’ll get blown up...again.

Jean has to confiscate everything so she goes to bed on time.

Lisa will read to her for a while.

Her voice is so sweet and soothing it’ll easily put her to bed.

Klee keeps Dodoco close by when she’s tucked in.

She never sleeps without it, she also sleeps with a bomb right next to her.

It may not be a good idea to surprise her in the middle of the night.

For everyone’s safety lmao.

After a long day of treasure hunting with Bennett or being saved from a disaster by Razor. Klee will fall asleep quite easily.

Amber

She has a lot of energy even before bed.

So, to tire herself out she will go for a nightly run or jog in and around the city of Monstadt.

She will also glide around from time to time up by the church.

Feeling the night wind in her hair is a nice stress reliever.

She may not sleep right away, she wanders around the Knights HQ and often sees Lisa up reading if she isn’t sleeping.

She may also check in on Klee, she doesn’t really like her being inside that confinement cell.

If she isn’t doing that, she may go on a nightly hunt before bed too.

Just so she can cook up a good breakfast in the morning.

All that energy needs to go somewhere.

She’ll eat moon pie before bed, she knows it’s not good to eat and then go directly to sleep but... it just tastes so good!

Barbara

Outside her room everyone can hear her humming to herself.

The acoustics in the cathedral are top notch she sings there are night when it’s empty.

Bennett often walks in covered head to toe in scraps and bruises.

Nearly scares her half to death. She heals him of course.

In her pjs’s Barbara sits in front of her vanity, singing to herself as she brushes her hair.

She has a melody to go along as she counts each brush stroke.

She checks in on Jean to make sure she’s not working herself to death.

Some nights she helps Jean to a proper bed.

If she isn’t sleeping during the late night hour she may be performing at the Angel’s Share.

Diluc frowned the entire time.

Her performances tucker her out and she sleeps as soon as she sees her bed!

She’ll take a bath first though and sing there too. Barbara will never stop singing!

Fischl

When she’s alone out adventuring on a quest Fischl can relax a bit more.

She sits under the illuminated night sky with Oz, gazing up at the stars.

Dreaming of far off worlds with the company of Oz by her side.

She can break character in front of him.

She lets her hair out and takes off the eye patch when she’s not in front of people.

She brushes her fingers through her hair a few times to allow it to fall freely. Only to pick up one of her favorite novels.

Always manages to read herself to sleep until or until the sun rises.

She reads a lot of fantasy novels and of course makes sure to return them on time.

Fischl spends her time in the adventures guild usually until the late night hour.

It’s a bit hard to understand her word choice but everyone there tries to be nice about it.

It’s a good thing Oz is there to translate.

Fischl is one for walks through the city of Monstadt at night, well that’s when she usually returns from her adventures outside the city.

She’s tired then and will quickly fall fast asleep, she’s more of a day time bather than a night.

Diona

She spends her nights bartending.

If she’s not busy making delicious drinks...

She’s out in the wild searching for ingredients to make a concoction with a horrid taste.

All in efforts to bring down the wine industry in Monstadt.

She has her reasons but, she dares not to speak of them in front of anyone and especially with Diluc around. — Seems he has eyes and ears everywhere?

Diona is an excellent bartender in fact, she’s so good at her job that the people who frequent there are there for her!

Her nights consist of entertaining the guest at the Cats Tails whilst also making drinks.

It’s fairly tiresome but when the night is over she goes home.

Not to sleep no, but to try and come up with a drink that will utterly topple the wind industry.

If she comes to a standstill, Diona will go out and ask around about the things people would most hate to drink.

When she does sleep, she will crawl into the comforts of her own bed. Doing nothing but stretching to get comfortable as she moves to rest.

Which seems to occur when the sun begins to rise. She sleeps throughout the day so that she can focus on her job at night. — that is unless she’s asking around to feed into her plans. One may see her during the day!

Razor

Will always watch the moon and star lit skies before he falls asleep.

He does this while keeping watch.

He checks on his lupical throughout the night too.

Just to make sure they’re all sleeping easy and peacefully.

Will sit and eat meat casually letting his feet dangle by the cliff side.

He honestly doesn’t do much before falling asleep.

Razor think about a plethora of things though before it tires him out.

How he’s not a real wolf mainly — it saddens him.

In any case he enjoy going to bed with a full stomach.

If he’s feeling restless, he will go for a run as well.

All that excess energy disappears once it’s concluded.

After that he’s too tired to think about anything else other than sleep.

He smells like a wolf and won’t bathe too often — doesn’t see it as a necessity to being a wolf.

If he’s out at night and sees Lisa she will make sure he’s clean even if she has to shock him.

Bennett

He sleeps like a baby most times but as luck would have it...sometimes he doesn’t.

It’s mainly when he’s out adventuring.

When he finally drifts off into sleep — not that he does much to prepare for sleep to begin with other than getting comfortable.

Bennett keeps his fire going to stay warm.

It unfortunately attracts hilichurls.

He stays up late trying to defend himself and his treasure from them.

He lost everything once lmao.

When he isn’t out and about, he’s in the guild.

Staying up late taking care of his Dads.

Always makes sure they’re all alright before he even thinks about sleeping.

Bennett, after assuring their happiness and comfort would then rest.

He thinks about death but not in a fearful way albeit, it does cross his mind often at night but he tries not to dwell.

Sometimes his nights are spent being mended by Barbara — he falls asleep at the cathedral too if he’s too tired to move.

It all depends where his adventures have him end up!

Noelle

She cleans before bed, any surroundings that may be out of place Noelle will scrub, sweep and dust until it shines.

She’s often doing errands during the day or helping out with the Knights at HQ.

When night falls she’s fairly tired.

Albeit she does not show it, the hard work she does is quite the energy drain.

She barely lets herself rest often doing the “less dangerous” jobs assigned to her by Jean or Kaeya. All in efforts to keep her safe.

When night falls and she has done everything she could do for that day, Noelle will practice with her claymore crafted by Wagner.

She stays up late trying to refine her skills until she can’t swing anymore.

She may have super human strength but after a few rounds of practice she will get tired.

She likes to soak in a hot bath with geo salts. It’s relaxing and rejuvenating.

The healing properties aide in strengthening her body when she’s exerted herself from a longs day work.

Sucrose

Research.

It takes up her days and her nights.

Lisa is always so insightful to almost everything that she does.

It is very helpful but Sucrose seems to never know why.

She loves alchemy and will often fall asleep at her work station. With experiments bubbling over and materials by her head.

Albedo wakes her only to tell her to go rest somewhere properly — wait for a new day to begin again.

Sucrose uses this time to bathe as well but she won’t soak in a bath for very long she prefers hot showers they’re brisk and warm her up just the same.

She will read alchemy books before moving to rest for the night and sometimes she’ll fall asleep with them in her lap.

Scribbling down notes along the way, she often wakes up in the morning with books and paper scattered throughout her bed.

Mona

She is a night owl, very rarely will someone see her during the day unless she’s shopping for something to eat at Sara’s.

But even then she’ll go out and do that at night if it’s not too late.

She scrys, usually somewhere out in about in one of the forests of Monstadt.

Honestly it’s hard to fall asleep on an empty stomach so she reads the stars like a book until she’s too tired to do so anymore. In hopes of possibly making a breakthrough of some sort.

Astrology being the only thing that can put her to sleep when she’s feeling restless.

She will indulge herself in a few experiments as well, getting “important work” done so that she can further her magical prowess.

Mona can’t discern the origins of a few things in Monstadt — that often keeps her up as night.

She will read star maps while she’s soaking in a warm bath at night before bed.

They float above the water and she turns the wheel in the air with as she proceeds with divination.

Being surrounded by water in a warm bath and their reflective surfaces always helps her see clearly.

Venti

He does not sleep at a set time.

Be it night or day...

It is always random with him.

Not to say he does not get tired but..

Venti does things on his own time.

He stays up drinking through all hours of the night.

He will sit atop his statue within the heart of Monstadt.

Always with an expression on his face that reads that of melancholy and longing.

It is there he falls asleep and it’s not for very long.

He doesn’t do anything to prepare for sleep it simply has to catch him in the wind.

Venti will sing, of tales new and old.

He may even go to the cathedral to see Barbara — he has watched her preform at Angels Share.

He often tries to bum a drink off Diona but never gets very far.

If he’s not in the city he’s out by the large tree you can always find him under.

Writing poetry, songs and playing the lyre.

He will fall asleep doing these things.

It’s there he will sleep the longest and where the sunrise wakes him for the new day.

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @misssbrianna

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋chart shape, dominants

your chart is a locomotive shape. this means that you're a very ambitious person, with a lot of energy. venus has a big influence on you, and your life revolves around love, friendship, beauty and finances. the empty part of your life is what you have to develop, hence your career, financial life and also your mental health.

your dominant planets are the sun, venus and mercury. you are a very creative and artistic person, you are quite smart and you're able to come up with innovative ideas. you're probably very charming as well, you're quite charismatic and sociable too, it's hard for you to be disliked by others.

your dominant sign is leo. you are extremely charismatic, it's easy for you to feel confident about yourself, or at least you project an image of you that looks very put-together. you are a perfectionist, you want to be perfect and you also expect others to try as hard as you. you have high standards, but only because you know your worth.

your dominant element is fire. you have a warm heart, even though it may be covered by your confidence and independence. in fact, you always strive for the first place. people may be intimidated by your presence, as you're a serious competitor. thanks to this competitive nature of yours you may be very positive and optimistic, making you a good and supportive friend/partner.

🌎 ascendant in leo, 7° / 1st decan ruled by the sun

you’re an extremely confident and bright person, or at least you have a very strong aura around you that makes you look like you are. you have exceptional charisma and presence, in fact this is usually a celebrity placement! you surely don’t go overlooked. you naturally always try your best to make people feel at ease, and you mostly succeed thanks to your warmth, which makes you even more attractive. you probably like being recognized, and you may want to be famous. in fact, you like being in the spotlight and loaded with compliments and appreciation, they incredibly boost your self-confidence. your charisma may sometimes be too noticeable, resulting a bit dramatic; you may gesticulate a lot, imitate voices… basically, you would do amazing at acting, for example. in fact, most celebrities have a leo rising, or leo placements of any sort. you’re very playful, you most likely look younger than you are for your personality. you may also be a savage, and you’re most likely good at jokes of any kind. you appear as a very bubbly and outgoing person, yet you may be quite secretive. you don’t open up easily, especially about family / private matters. especially with your water influence, you’re very picky when it comes to trusting people. in addition, you’re a perfectionist; you care a lot about everything that revolves around you, from physical appearance to your job, you want it all to be perfect. that can cause you a lot of stress, as you always want to seem at your best state, you despise being seen as weak or unprepared. physically, all leos have beautiful hair. you may have curly, perhaps red or dark hair, or at least it’s very thick. you may also get tanned easily, an olive skin tone or any kind of warm undertones to your skin. you may have full, plump lips, or at least they have a defined cupid’s bow.

🌞 sun in leo, 19° / 2nd decan ruled by the sun and jupiter

just like the sun, you shine brightly. you're confident, independent, brave and friendly. you're the only who can handle your life, no one can tell you who you are, what you want or what you need. sometimes you can get insecure, as you feel pressured to always be perfect. you try to be nice and kind to everyone, as you don't wanna be seen as someone unpleasant to be with. even though you may be into gossip and rumors, you try to avoid being involved with them at every cost. the thing with leo is, you're either loved or hated. no inbetween. some may admire your confidence, assertiveness and determination, others may be jealous of you. you have celebrity-like presence, you don't go overlooked. you're most probably the life of the party, and you enjoy living a life full of fun and amusement. you're also amazingly creative. with your heavy leo influence, you have the potential to do and achieve whatever you want, you're very resolute. even though you look very open to getting to know new people, you're secretly very picky about who you call your friends, or even when choosing a partner. you always try to be perfect, and hence you want someone that looks and tries just like you do.

leo sun conjunct leo venus: you enjoy peace and harmony. you want your surroundings to look all neat and clean, and same goes for the people you surround yourself with. you wish people saw you as easy to approach, even though you may struggle with your image. you try to be as formal and kind as possible with people you don’t know well, unless they start getting on your nerves by disagreeing with your opinions or being too bossy. you’re very feminine, not only in your looks and manners but also in the way you dress. you’re quite romantic too, and dream of having a perfect marriage. the downside to this aspect is that because you take so much care of yourself, people may mistake your self-love for vanity, especially with your leo dominance. also, your self-esteem may depend too much on others’ opinion of you; you may start thinking you’re ugly and unworthy of love just because someone told you you’re not their type, to sum up.

leo sun square scorpio pluto: probably during your childhood you couldn't make your own decisions. you might have been highly influenced by someone in your family, probably your father, and hence now you feel the need to have everything under control. maybe too much. you despise authority, you may even quite rebellious. maybe your parents have tried to convince you following their religion, ideals etc., without giving you freedom. or perhaps, they are overprotective and avoid to make you have experiences. I imagine that getting rid of your control issues, which are caused by this sense of not being in control of your life, may be the first step to finally heal your wound, which is somehow linked to the relationship with your friends and casual partners in your everyday life. start trusting others more, and don't be afraid of being 'fooled'. you're totally capable of understanding when someone is trying to hurt you, follow your intuition. even though it may be hard, even painful, it'll be the key to transform and overcome pluto's lessons to achieve your goals.

🌙 moon in pisces, 20° / 3rd decan ruled by neptune and pluto

hands down my favourite moon sign! you're extremely empathetic and sensitive, you care a lot about others and you treat others' problems as if they were yours, you get totally immersed in them. you have quite a vivid imagination, you're able to idealize and picture anything you want. while this placement gives you an incredible amount of creativity, it can also make you uncomfortable. in fact, you may actually find yourself imagining every detail of every situation, even the worst ones. let's suppose you hear of a rape at the news; you literally start imagining the scene detail by detail, and it makes you extremely uncomfortable. actually, it literally ruins your mood, as it's as if you actually lived that scene. going back to the creativity matter, you have the soul of an artist; you have very enhanced emotions, and you're able to express them through artistic outlets. you could be amazing at writing poetry, books, art, music... also, your particular empathy of human's intellect can also make you an amazing psychologist or actress, as you're able to understand others' feelings and make them your own. you're extremely spiritual, and if you don't feel like that, you just have yet to have your spiritual awakening. you may be able to talk to spirits, for example, or perhaps you have very meaningful dreams. or maybe, you could literally predict the future through them. you're also most probably an avid daydreamer, you tend to get distracted easily because you're too busy thinking about random scenarios in your head. seriously, you could even make a movie out of them. you're also an hopeless romantic, and you dream of finding not just your spouse, but your literal soulmate. to make it simple, you want all of your daydreams to become reality.

pisces moon conjunct pisces saturn: you most probably felt misunderstood during your childhood, as if everyone were cold with you. maybe your mother (or anyone in your family/childhood) was emotionally absent or even aggressive, hence you didn't grow up in a completely healthy environment. this issue causes you to question your worth; you may have low self-esteem, especially during your early years. your family may have big expectations of you, and hence you feel the need to meet them, making you even more pressured to be perfect. overall, your personality may resemble that of your parents a lot, even though it may feel challenging for you. you're constantly strict with yourself, challenging yourself to improve. you always want to be at your best state, physically but also emotionally. you just want to radiate good vibes, even though you may feel limitated to share all of your true self due to saturn making harsh aspects.

🗣 mercury in virgo, 5° / 1st decan ruled by mercury

you have a very logical, pragmatic mind. ironically, this creates contrast with your leo energy, confusing you as you may act differently in different situations. you try to be as well-spoken as possible, especially with strangers, but when people get on your nerves you can’t help but kill them with your words. before expressing your opinion on a certain matter, you like making sure that your thought actually has proof to be supported. you’re very analytical, and hence you also overthink a lot. especially when it comes to people you care, you start overthinking so much about little things like late replies to messages that you create a variety of hollywood-worthy scenarios in your head. you also pay lots of attention to details, and you can’t tolerate typos and grammar mistakes. you always try to speak and write in the most correct and polite way as possible. you may have an elegant, yet neat handwriting. your voice probably sounds very calm and collected, yet you don’t have any problems speaking at a louder tone.

virgo mercury square sagittarius jupiter: this placement emphasizes your intellect. your mind is so broad that you can come up with different theories and philosphies, making you a sort of genius. you're probably good at memorizing things, and you could even have a photographic memory. yet, with this aspect, you may have troubles being consistent with your ideas. you may overestimate your needs and thoughts; for example, you may promise yourself to get all As in maths, then you get tired and bored and you end up getting Cs. same goes for your handwriting, for example: you may start writing in the best way possible, then you get lazy and end up writing in a sloppy way just to take notes. you also overthink a lot, and that causes you self-esteem issues. on the other hand, you're very open-minded and objective, as you look at the big picture. you'd do very well as a journalist, for example, or perhaps also as a judge of any kind. you may also be naturally skilled at foreign languages, you can mimic accents pretty well. you're probably also very poetic and / or wise, you're like a teacher for your friends.

virgo mercury square scorpio pluto: you may become a bit manipulative. you probably don’t even realize it, though, as you have the ability to make people do what you want them to do. you probably love being right, especially during arguments, and you always manage to be so thanks to your skills. your words are like knives for others, they can truly cut deep through their ego. you’re direct and blunt, as you just say what you have in mind with no filters. you can develop a provocative attitude without even realizing it, which can obviously cause you conflicts. you need to be more careful about how you communicate your ideas, otherwise you could seriously damage other people’s self-esteem. on the other hand, if you acknowledge your flaws and work on them, this can actually turn into diplomacy. take advantage of your interest in your inner self to find out how to be a bit more gentle in choosing your words.

❤️ venus in leo, 17° / 2nd decan ruled by the sun and jupiter

with leo venus you're very picky, as you have high expectations for your future partner. you always try to be at your best state, and you want those who surround you to be perfect too. it's hard for you to fall for someone, as you take everything in consideration: personality, physical appearance, fashion sense... it may look like it is too much, but once you find the right one that truly satisfies your standards, you're in for a long ride. you'll want to travel, live your life in the best way possible with the person you love. you look at them as if they were the brighest star in the sky, and you want to be seen like this as well. you may even be a bit clingy, but your partner needs to be aware of that. they can't repress your need for affection. you see love as a way to revive your inner child, you feel younger when you're in love. even though you want someone fun and outgoing, you also need someone ambitious, hard-working and generally serious when it comes to committing. there's no room in your life for flaky people.

💥 mars in libra, 13° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and mercury

there’s this stereotype that libra mars people are passive-aggressive. it may be true, but only partially. in fact, you try to avoid conflicts exclusively when you’re in public, or maybe with someone you don’t know well. in that case, you can eventually try to avoid the problem. with people you’re close to, you’re pretty much the opposite. you may say the worst things that you probably don’t even mean, you may even have the istinct to throw hands. you’re driven by a strong sense of justice, and you probably were the class’ snitch during daycare/primary school. you also strive for equality, hence you may get very defensive when it comes to proving your innocence, or just really anyone’s. overall, you’re a fair person with strong morals, who acts based on the situation you’re in.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in leo. with this placement, you care a lot about your persona, both physically and also mentally too. yet, you may start feeling like you need to be perfect at all costs to be accepted, especially during your early years. for example, you may be the type to follow fashion trends to look cool, and you may subconsciously force yourself to like them. you need to understand that you should enhance your individuality, and ask yourself who you are. it’s not all about who you are outside, the inside matters even more. you’re free to stand out, but make sure that you do it in a comfortable way for you, or it will start becoming toxic as time goes by. venus is also placed here: you're most likely very attractive and magnetic. even if not necessarily conventionally, people find themselves attracted to you. you may have sparkling doe eyes, with also full lips and a defined cupid's bow. your face is more on the longer side, perhaps you have an heart-shaped face, with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. you may also have naturally amazing, fluffy and flowing hair. your body is also very feminine, with a lot of curves and softness to it.

your 2nd house is in leo, with also the sun and mercury sitting there. your self-esteem depends on matters like money, possessions, as well as your influence on others. you may feel confident when you’re praised and spoiled with compliments and material things, you may enjoy being in the spotlight as it increases your self-confidence, even though you’re quite shy so you don’t feel very at ease. you feel confident when you’re able to earn money and you’re financially stable, and hence you probably felt guilty as a child to ask your parents for money for example. you probably love luxury, you aspire to become very wealthy, live in the house of your dreams, etc. you could also dream of becoming famous. and actually, with this placement, you could make money from leo-related matters, and hence being in the spotlight, creativity (especially theatre / drama), comedy, etc. you value stability in both romance and in your day-to-day life, like at work. you take care of your body and style in any sort of way, as your 1st house venus confirms. you like keeping your mind active everyday, especially by following your passions. if you’re the logical type, you might enjoy playing sudoku or things like that. on the other hand, if you’re more phylosophical you might enjoy reading, writing etc. you have a great sense of duty, that makes you want to excel in whatever you do. in addition to this, you’re also very stubborn. you probably get in arguments with others because you don’t accept their advices/criticism and prefer going your own way. you may also tend to overindulge a bit, and become a bit lazy. you care a lot about grammar, you don't want to make any mistakes. looking ridiculous is your biggest fear, hence you end up overworking to prove yourself that you're capable to do anything you want. you have a slow way of thinking and speaking. your voice may sound really calm and pleasant to hear, yet still strict and ambitious. you’re probably a good singer, or at least have the potential to become one. you tend to overthink a lot, but you eventually get to a conclusion and stick to it. no one is gonna change your mind. you enjoy learning and working in creative ways; you might enjoy using powerpoints, flashcards or maybe study with your friends, or listening to music. you also probably have a nice, aesthetic handwriting and you like organizing your agenda. your voice is probably very soft and youthful.

your 3rd house is in virgo. you’re very precise and polite in the way you express your thoughts. you’re probably very careful to grammar, vocabulary etc… you love looking and being knowledgeable. you’re more of a logical type rather than an intuitive person, you hardly ever do something only out of curiosity. you’re very cautious about the decisions you make, and hence it could take you some time to finally choose something, but that’s because you just don’t want to regret anything. you think deeply about your choices, and most of the time they turn out to be right. you’re strongly opinionated, but you may be a bit too harsh when you express your ideas. sometimes you could even hurt someone, as you’re extremely honest. you don’t like sugar-coating your words. you’re also very intelligent and hard-working, and you can’t stand messy things. you’re probably very neat, you like having schedules and you may even keep an agenda / diary where you keep track of your appointments and other things you have to do.

your 4th house is in libra, with also mars placed there. your physical home was probably very pleasant and beautiful; you may have a conventionally beautiful family, or at least they’re particularly attractive and charming. your house may also be very well-designed and elegant, doesn’t matter how big it is. you probably see your parents as ideal, they are your role models and you look up to them. perhaps, it could be that you felt misunderstood, maybe your parents were a bit materialistic or lacked empathy, but overall you had a great childhood, you have a good relationship with your parents and siblings if you have them. it could also be that you dated lots of people when you were a teen, or at least you had lots of friends. you certainly have lovely memories of your early years, and your parents most likely have a good relationship too. perhaps you used to argue often with your parents, there was quite a lot of fighting, but nothing too serious, I don't see any serious trauma in your childhood.

your 5th house is in scorpio, with also your pluto and jupiter being here. your hobbies most likely include self-expression of any kind, anything that you consider private is told through your creativity. also, with scorpio in this house, you may as well be attracted to darker hobbies like astrology, tarots… possibly, you may be into thriller or even into horror. you may also like psychology, criminology… this type of things that are able to stimulate your mind in some way. you could possibly want to be a risk-taker, deep down. also, you want to become a master in what you like, and hence you tend to go extreme to become perfect. you may dedicate a lot of your spare time to your hobbies, for example, even if you have to work. your romantic relationships may be very intense, you could attract particularly jealous or even obsessive partners in your life. some of them may be painful, but they’ll be essential to become mature and grow up into a better, wiser person. in addition, I see you as the type of person who doesn’t like showing off their partner. you probably keep both your love interests and hobbies personal, you only talk a little about them to your close, trusted friends, especially with your pluto in this house that makes this energy even stronger. jupiter here makes you particularly charming, it's easy for you to attract people interested in you romantically, you have a very striking charisma that makes it impossible not to like you. you're also particularly witty and creative, people admire you for your ideas. you may have a great sense of fashion and aesthetic as well.

your 6th house is in capricorn, with also uranus and neptune placed there. usually, people with a capricorn 6th house are very responsible and work-oriented. they generally don’t leave much space to fun and amusement, but the presence of uranus and neptune here may change this a bit. you do have a strong sense of duty, but you don’t overwork yourself. you’re able to find balance between work and hobbies, and that’s obviously great. yet, you may sometimes procrastinate in your day-to-day life. that can possibly cause you issues in your career; you may be indecisive about your future path for example, or you could even not be much precise in your work. uranus here also indicates that you may often come across unpredictable events in your daily life. you may often see strange, unordinary things, or perhaps it’s your routine that is like that. you may lack consistency when it comes to diets and health, for example; you may start a diet and keep it for a month, then you get tired and drop it all of a sudden.

your 7th house is in aquarius. you do like the idea of marriage and love, yet you need your space as well. you don’t want to feel committed in a relationship, it would be suffocating for you. that could make you appear as emotionally cold or detached, when you’re really not. you just care a lot about your personal growth, especially after your turbulent childhood. perhaps, you could even attract mentally unstable partners, they could be a bit moody for example. you may meet your future spouse in an unexpected situation, or perhaps you could meet them online through social media or a dating app.

your 8th house is in aquarius. you could possibly have an unexpected yet barely painful death, or perhaps someone in your life has died / will die all of a sudden, you may often experience scenarios of this kind. possibly, you could even die due to electricity, and or at least it will be a very fast death, I don’t see it being violent or turbulent at all. or maybe, you’re surrounded by unpredictable events of loss of any kind in your life. that is, it could also happen with your money. it’s important not to risk too much with this placement, especially with gambling, or you may end up getting in serious problems. you’re fascinated by the occult, and you may even be/been able to talk to dead people. you’re very intuitive, and it’s easy for you to read through people’s words. you may as well have prophetic dreams.

your 9th house is in pisces, with also your moon and saturn sitting there. this is definitely a nice placement! the result is that you’re probably extremely open-minded and imaginative. you hardly ever have have prejudices, you don’t judge a book by its cover. you’re extremely opinionated, and combined with your virgo 3rd house you’re constantly looking for the truth. you hate it when people say something wrong for example, you can’t help but correct them. you could also be religious and believe in a god. philosophy, literature and poetry are also a part of your many interests. in addition, you’re most likely also into foreign languages and cultures. you could travel a lot, or perhaps with your pisces in the house cusp you like travelling with your mind. you probably literally create stories in your head, you’re extremely imaginative. a good advice would be not to waste this talent of yours; you could actually make your fantasies concrete and express them through creative outlets: books, drawings, songs, choreographies… basically, it would be a waste to only keep them for you. you may also learn about more creative topics rather than school subjects. due to saturn's presence in this house though, it could take you a while to finally open up and make new experiences. growing up, you'll get to travel the world and open your mind more. you are an extremely open-minded person, you rarely judge a book by its cover. you probably despise racism, homophobia, misogyny etc. with a passion (as you should tbh). you may also be into poetry, philosophy, and just anything that can stimulate both your mind and feelings. in fact, your mind is constantly wandering somewhere else, allowing you to travel with your fantasy. you're also probably attracted to foreign things, like people, music, fashion, languages, movies etc. you love learning about anything, and you may also have a good memory. in fact, it’s common for you to be the one who explains things and possibly even leads a group, and this could unluckily make you seem as a know-it-all. you do take pride in your wisdom, indeed. your deep way of thinking is also where your desire for freedom comes from, as you wish to be able to expand yourself through travelling and new experiences.

your 10th house is in aries. with your 10th house cusp in the energetic sign of aries, you need a career that allows you to be independent, you probably prefer working alone than in groups. or perhaps, you actually aspire to become a boss, a ceo, someone people look up to, and if you work hard you may actually become an influential person in your work place / field. you aspire to be successful and you want to be wealthy thanks to yourself only, and you may actually develop some good luck in your career life. your future job may also require something related to physical action, and hence you may have to move a lot for your job, perhaps you may pursue acting to include something creative that also requires you to move. the sun here also makes you gain a reputation for being responsible and mature, you have a strong charisma and you probably seem very put-together to others.

your 11th house is in taurus. you could possibly attract people with taurus traits, and hence your friends could be quite stubborn and possessive, but also very loyal and responsible. they could possibly be wealthy, and they could have some artistic, creative interest and / or talent just like you. you may have some trust issues, you’re careful about who you trust, and hence you’re quite cautious about who you befriend. your long-term goals include financial stability, you may be quite materialistic as you enjoy wealth. yet, I assume that thanks to your water placements you’re not as work-focused as other earth placements, you actually also value emotions and feelings too. I feel like you probably have very big goals and dreams that you want to come true.

your 12th house is in cancer. you’re an extremely spiritual and intuitive person. you may be attracted to dreams, religion, astrology, spirituality… anything that can wake you up, spiritually speaking. you may also be particularly talented at reading birth charts, tarots, even talking to spirits. you may have prophetic dreams, or you could even have deja-vus. the 12th house is also the house of fears, so having cancer here indicates that you may be afraid of your childhood, emotions, past memories. perhaps, even of your home environment or directly of your parents. it’s a part of your life that you’d rather keep secret. you may also have some escapism tendencies, such as oversleeping, overeating… or perhaps, you could easily develop addictions, so be careful to that, as you’re particularly sensitive to drugs, alcohol etc.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract aquarius, sagittarius, gemini, scorpio and leo placements and/or traits. your future spouse will most likely have sagittarius and gemini traits or placements. they’ll be very similiar to you: bubbly and hard-working, but also with a warm, loyal heart and a hidden insecurity to them. you may meet them at work, or perhaps even abroad. perhaps they could be foreign, or maybe you're going to meet them on a vacation. in general, you'll meet with your spouse during a fun, relaxing situation. perhaps at a party, at the club, at a concert, at the mall, etc. your children will most likely have strong scorpio and sagittarius traits: they’ll be very smart and intense, but also very sensitive deep down. also, they’ll be extremely intelligent and more mature as time goes by. they’ll also have a tender side to them, but that is often overshadowed by their seriousness.

👶🏻 family life

your father is a very fiery, impulsive person, with a short-temper. he could have even been quite violent with you during your childhood, and he might have a bit of a childish behaviour, even though I don't really think it's your case thanks to your libra ic. deep down, he’s actually kind of insecure with his role as a father, but he may hate to admit it. he may have aries, cancer, libra or scorpio placements in his chart. your mother, on the other hand, is slightly more submissive. she’s mostly a peaceful and emotional person, even though she most probably has a passive-aggressive behaviour. she could be conventionally beautiful, or at least she likes taking care of herself. she may have libra, aries or taurus placements in her chart, as well as pisces and capricorn. if you have siblings, they’re probably very peaceful and intelligent. they may also be very kind, as well as organized. their rooms probably look immaculate. they could have virgo or gemini placements in their charts.

📊 career

you’re a very ambitious person, and hence I don’t see you being the type to scrap projects. especially with your aries midheaven, you’re motivated to complete your works in order to show that you’re able to succeed, you want to be the best in what you do. I can also see you being a good therapist, psychologist, possibly even a doctor of any kind, even though I’d avoid practical and boring jobs if I were in you. your strong pisces energy struggles to be cold-minded at times, and hence working in a stressful environment could be dangerous for you and for your mental health, as you may absorb others’ negativity and stress. actually, I feel like the most suited career for you would be something that allows you to be in charge, to be your own boss as you know what’s best for you. you may also do well with a creative career; you may become a writer, a dancer, a singer, a stylist, a model, an actress... anything that isn't too practical could be good to you, and if it allows you to express your creativity it's even better.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

keyword for your wardrobe: black. every leo venus loves black, it's probably my favorite love story. after all, it's such a versatile color! it can be both badass and classy, how can I blame you. you may also have a thing for anything that looks luxury and high quality; you probably enjoy wearing designer brands, especially in your belts and bags. you may also like wearing fitted clothes, even just simple skinny jeans or tight tops. aside from black, you could as well use white and bold colours like gold, hot pink etc. also, you may as well be into pastel colors, and you could like following fashion trends.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, you were very career-oriented. you were probably extremely successful at work, it was your priority. you could have even been someone important for your career, who knows. yet, this lifetime you don't need to focus on work anymore, you're already a master at it. now, you need to solve your issues with your family and create a family of your own to fully accomplish your life purpose. there may be some ups and downs, but this is what your soul has to learn in this lifetime.

🤔 major transits analysis / september 6

transit libra mercury is currently in your 4th house conjunct your natal mars. you could be feeling particularly honest in these days, you're more likely to speak your mind. you want to be around your loved ones but you're also particularly sensitive, therefore you could get angry easily and overall you're more impulsive, so beware of possible conflicts with others.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

-libramc xx

[queensdivas]

Peonies Chapter 2

Okay so this is a long chapter and we’re finally getting into more Chiara x Grigor. No it’s not what you think but I know you’ll be enjoying what I’ve written hopefully. Don’t worry there will be 

Also. For those who read my other stories. Those who are not aware Chapter Four of Wildest Notes (The Gardner one) has been uploaded. For those who are curious. 

Next Chapter

Masterlist 

Previous Chapter 

Life of a Duchess consists of balls, tea parties, making under the table deals for the country, and then an occasional outing. Life for me..it is..well.. Different. Obviously. I mean I dropped everything to now help Catherine stage a Coup against her own husband. But I’m still trying to manage my habits so I don’t lose them, even all the way out here. 

My morning always begins at seven a.m. Fernanda is to come into the rooms and open the curtains whether the sunshine is glaring into my room or it’s a cloudy day. Then after waking up I’m treated to a warm breakfast. Honestly I’m not quite sure what exactly is a Russian breakfast because I’ve never had it. 

Fernanda came into the bedroom as I was rubbing my eyes to adjust to the light. Doing a few neck stretches then plopping my arms and my legs as my hair fell in my face. To think only a few nights ago we were burying heads in the dirt and now we’re writing drafts on some sort of constitution. She placed the breakfast tray right in front of me then revealed breakfast. What looked like porridge that had raspberries on top of them, some bacon and dumplings? 

“What is this?” Crossing my legs as I lifted one of the dumplings to my nose. Smelled very sweet for a dumpling. 

“They call it vareniki I think. It’s a dumpling and they tasted good when we had them for dinner last night. I promise I wouldn’t let them serve you anything you wouldn’t like.” She stood next to me as I handed her one of the raspberries from on top of the porridge. 

“Is Catherine awake yet by chance?” Asking her as she finished the raspberry. 

“I’m not quite sure. I can go check for you.” 

“It's not too urgent yet. I just need to know when she’s wanting to have our meetings. If you happen to see her maid, send her my way. Oh! I need a sabre coach if you could keep an eye on Hernán. He’s coming sometime today and I would rather him see a familiar face than one of the ladies.” She nodded as I took my spoon into the porridge. Eh. It’s alright. Makes me miss the cooking of Chef Columbus. 

After breakfast I am to get dressed for the day which is usually my black pants, my brown and black boots, and my white button up shirt. Makes the life of Fernanda and I extremely simple because there’s no buttons or corsets. In addition. It’s either braided hairstyles or just flopping down due to the fact those big hairstyles hurt my head. 

“She’s awake and already has some sort of Count in her chambers.” Fernanda told me as I finished placing my hair in a braid. I then grabbed my cross necklace as I stared into the vanity mirror before me. 

The words of Catherine talking about Grigor after the funeral keep bouncing around in my head. If he’s an advisor he must have some sort of genius inside his head. But when you’re supposed to be an advisor or friends with someone like Peter, you lose sight of what your potential is. He is quite loyal for starters and he studied alongside Peter the Great from what I’ve been told. So..there was so much potential that is in Grigor..just needs to be pushed. Extremely hard. But don’t think I’ve pushed aside his little comment on my first night here. 

He is extremely attractive..I mean he’s tall, has beautiful green forest of eyes..maybe this is just sexual tension. I mean me having some sort of dream last night about him is sexual desire then I’m guilty. Even if I want to slap him across the face due to the comment from last night. Grigor is definitely one I would have molded into clay to have in my room. 

I’ll figure him out later. Getting up from the bench as I began twirling the cross for my walk towards Catherines apartment. If I knew we were going to stage a coup I would’ve brought my books and a trunk full of papers and pens. 

When I made it to the entrance of the apartment. The young man was standing at the entrance as I smiled at him. 

“Duchess Chiara to see Empress Catherine.” Smiling at him as they opened the door as I was led into her apartment. 

“Catherine! Coming in!” I yelled as she was sitting on the floor as she was talking with Count Orlov. Did she finally convince him? I’m going to assume so because the amount of pamphlets and books that were scattered around the room means they’re trying to start a draft of something.  

“Ah Count Orlov. Do you remember my cousin Duchess Chiara?” Waving to him as I noticed she was barefoot. Genius Catherine. Slipping off my boots as I tiptoed across her pamphlets to sit down across from her. 

“Does she?” He was going to ask the question but I nodded. Alright let me see what she’s got scattered across in her room. Dierdot, Kant, and even some Plato. Wow. We’re really trying to do a book club/Coup. Not that I don’t find the words of Plato interesting but...what person is wanting to listen to Plato when trying to change a country? 

“Ah yes. So I’ve written a 74 page treatise that should really get the people behind us on your ideals.” 

“74 pages?” Asking him as I was in shook. A little over stepping it wouldn’t you say? Do they not realize this is for the people and anything over at least two pages will make them lose interest. 

“I thought perhaps some Montaigne.” 

“I got stuck on Machiavelli. Read in the French translation he says the ends justify the means. But in the original Italian he merely asks..” Marial dropped the entire tray of tea cups as we all looked up at her. 

“Oh sorry. I was holding..holding that tray...and then I fell asleep listening to you both! Is this a coup or a fucking book club?” 

“She’s right Catherine. Remember what kind of environment you’re trying to rule. Most of these people don’t know how to read and write. So if we go on beginning to quote great men then why even stage a coup. We have to be original and sound like we truly care about them.” Catherine sighed as she got up from the ground to start walking back and forth. I crawled over to help Marial clean up all the broken tea cups. 

“Why do we not just kill him?” I love Marials enthusiasm of trying to get rid of Peter but killing him literally will not solve anything if we don’t have a good backbone of support and ideals. 

“Too messy. Anyways if we kill an Emperor, they will tie Catherine up by her toes and beat her with the blunt heads of pistols.” Marial sighed as she stopped picking up the cracked tea cups. 

“Next time he is on you, stab him in the face. In the back, Orlo cuts his throat, and then you are empress, and I am Lady Marial. The end.” Ah! It all makes sense now! How intelligent. They won’t kill them all in an instant. 

“But it..it is not so simple.” Sadly it isn't and Count Orlo is right. They will get shot and I’m not in the most chipperest of moods to lose my favorite cousin!

“The two most important things in any country is the main religion and the military. If you could at least get one of the two backing Catherine, you’re golden. Although they’re both extremely popular to everyone, I’d say get the military behind you Catherine. Fire scares more people than any man in the sky.” Forgive me God but I’m only trying to help. 

“We need the church to ratify her to the whole of Russia from the pulpit after, so they must support her.” Orlo pointed out as I nodded in agreement. Both are important to Governments damn it.  

“Not to mention if Ivan is alive, we need a sympathetic military for if we kill him before that is all in place, then the military and others may get behind Ivan, and run over Catherine in the process.” Whose Ivan? 

“No one even knows where Ivan is.” Again who is Ivan? 

“Who is Ivan?” Catherine and I both asked. 

“Ivan is Peter’s half-brother, bastard son to Peter the Great. His supporters tried to take the throne after Peter first came to power.” Buffa. If there’s a half son we will be royally screwed! And if they do find this Ivan we’re even more screwed! Not that I can get involved when the coup finally happens but I’m here to give it a good push. 

“I will find out where he is?” Now we’re doing a ghost hunt. What a fun time!

“How?” Count Orlo asked as we all looked upon Catherine.

“Cleverly.” 

“I suspect we need a year to get our pamphlets just right.” A year? Mamma mia at this point I’d rather watch paint dry! 

“It’s no wonder you never fuck anyone.” My eyes widened as I got up from the floor to sit on Catherine's bed. 

“You..you cannot speak to me like that!” 

“Because I am a serf?” 

“Because it’s rude.” A throat laugh began as I covered my mouth with my hand. Looking at the door as some strange man came walking into the room with a book in his hand! Oh shit! 

“How dare you! You just walk into my chambers sir!” My hand was slithering down to my left leg as I kept a dagger there. Tell me we already don’t have a spy. 

“I would have ridden, but my horse has trouble with stairs.” Smart ass. 

“Empress?” EVEN BIGGER OH SHIT! Standing up from the bed as I rapidly walked to stand next to Catherine. 

“Orlo, what are you doing here?” 

“He brought us some books. I left mine back home.” Chiming in as I waved at the Empress. 

“I...uh..thought the Duchess and Empress would be interested..”

“Oh God you’re dull. Get out!” I thought he was being somewhat helpful. 

“Sir.” 

“If you’ll excuse me Catherine.” Slipping out with Marial as we turned the corner but tried to listen in on what was going on. 

He’s giving her a lover? And is the name Leo..and has a big loch? It was either loch or cock but I sadly couldn’t hear what he said. Though he was loud sadly it was a little mumbled. He walked past us as I stared at the wall. Catherine came walking out from the bedroom as the three of us followed her. 

“Is that your lover?” Asking her as she rolled her eyes. 

“Sadly.” How can that be sadly because wow he’s a beautiful dessert.

“Catherine..he’s extremely good looking. I think I would have a sculpture molded from his face at home.” He would look quite beautiful right next to Da Vinci. Seems appropriate wouldn’t you think? Grigors sculpture would be on the left of Da Vinci if I lived in a perfect will. 

“It is disgusting that he would just give me a lover, like I am an animal to be serviced.” Looking up to Count Orlo who had no idea what to even say in this conversation. 

“You would be serviced well. He’s a Voronsky, they are well-known lovers.” I zoned out for a second till Orlo started panicking in front of us. Does he really think that Peter noticed all the pamphlets? He gives him more credit than he deserves because he doesn’t even know Catherine. He thinks of her as some dumb wife at the moment and she’s from Europe. Makes her quite the bookworm. 

“Fuck fuck fuck! The very week we start our adventure, Peter gifts you a man!” He slammed down everything on the table as the three of us watched him panic. 

“He’s well known to insert spies into situations because he’s paranoid that no one truly likes him. It’s something common he does oh fuck! Maybe he knows! And I was there and we had pamphlets about Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ!” Approaching him as I gripped his shoulders. 

“Count Orlo will you please take one second and just breath!” Yelling as he stopped panicking and took in a very deep breath in. 

“Orlo will it make you feel better if I give him back?” Catherine asked him as he slightly nodded. 

“How? He’s Peter's gift.” I mean giving back a gift is a whole new world of being a giant dick. 

“Cleverly.” A boy came into the room and got everyone to stop talking. 

“Empress, you wanted to know when the dresses for the ladies’ tea arrived.” There’s no way they came in that quickly! We’ve got some fast fingers in our midst! Catherine and I smirked at each other as we began to walk off. 

“What dresses?” Marial asked as Catherine and I smirked. 

“Just wait and see!” Telling her as we linked arms to start walking out of her apartment. 

“Do you think this plan will work?” I asked Catherine as we hurried towards The Ladies tea room. What’s the best way you can get back at a woman besides being a gossiping old lady like them? Their appearance. Women of the court need to look their best constantly and if you destroy their image by one minor miscommunication. You bring down their entire existence. 

“Oh yes. Vlad. Have some tea ready for us when we get down there.” Catherine told him as we hurried into the tea room. 

“What colors did you make the dress?” I asked her as she smirked. 

“This extremely ugly green and purple. It's all the rage in Europe.” Ah yes I forgot they are. 

The wives were already gasping and filled with excitement for the new dresses as we walked over to the small tea table for us. I’m much more of a coffee person but I will dabble in tea of course. We sat down as I poured her the tea for the show to begin. We’re supposed to keep our eye on the stripped one that should be THERE IT IS! 

Watching the dress being bounced around as I took a sip of my tea waiting for someone to take a nice hold of it. That being The Lady that has the horse's face grabbed a hold of it as she held it up against her. She was smiling like an idiot as she turned towards Catherine and I. 

“Empress, do you like it?” Oh my god if I don’t drink my tea I will die of laughter. 

“Mhm. It looks marvelous.” 

“Truly wonderful colors mixing together.” Trying to be nice to the horse is extremely harder than it looks. 

“You will stand out.” In more ways than one. The face she placed on her horse face was a fake smile and she’s wearing far too much makeup. 

“As I always do.” I might throw up because of this conversation. She took the dress with her as we both looked at each other to give ourselves a little cheer. Fernanda came into the room as she was walking straight towards me. She leaned down towards my ear as I was told that Hernán had arrived. 

“Catherine I know you’ll be greeting the Generals. But my instructor has arrived and I do need to have my lessons.” Telling her as she nodded. We stood up as she stopped me to ask questions. 

“What lesson?” Catherine asked as I smiled. 

“Fencing, sabres, and actual sword fighting. Oh is there an empty hall that I may use” Asking her as she thought for a moment. 

“I’ll arrange the music hall to be yours. For as long as you need.” Perfect. 

“Thank you Catherine. Come by if you need me.” Fernanda and I left the tea room. 

My instructor was a day behind when I left Trento due to the fact this was a last second decision. Luckily he’s made it and I can get back into the habit of training with swords and sabres. I also owe Catherine a big thank you due to the fact that she’s letting me train in the music hall. PlusI imagine no one is going to be playing Handel or Arcangelo Corelli. 

Two of the servants followed me into the music hall as I was standing in an empty room. Guess he’s getting comfortable in his room. The servants placed down the trunk as I popped it open to look at my gear. How I have surely missed this. 

“Ah Duchess Chiara!” He yelled as I raised my head up from my fencing trunk. 

“Hernán Gil! Glad that you could make it to Russia extremely last second.” Placing my foot on the stool to fix my left boot. 

“Of course. Anything to get out of Palma. Hopefully you haven’t lost your touch with a sabre Dear Duchess.” He swung his sabre sword around in front of him as I put my foot down then into my fencing trunk. 

“Have I ever lost my touch?” Pulling my sabre out to do a few little tricks before we got into our positions. Standing across from one another with my left foot back and my right foot ancy ready to go. 

“Vamos!” He came swinging as I blocked his attack then swinging it around to then smack the sabre on his arm.

“Excellent!” He cheered as I took in a deep breath as both Hernán and I got into our standing positions. 

“Vamos!” Our blades instantly met as I spun my wrist trying to knock his sabre out of his hand. But he took a step back to try to aim for my head but I held my sabre horizontally to block his attack. He took a step back then swiftly smacked the sword against my shoulder. Cursing under my breath as I shook my head. 

“Cheap shot.” I laughed as we got back into our positions. 

“Vamos!” Raising my sabre as I tried to aim for his shoulder out of the corner of my eye Grigor came into the room to watch. That was a quick meet and greet from the Generals. Thought it would last a lot longer. 

All I could pay attention to was the fact that Grigor was just waiting for one of us to win so he could do something. What does he want? Blocking his outside attack to then move my sabre right into his chest. 

“Is there something I can help you with?” Taking off my mask as I was beginning to fix my gloves. Grigor shook his head as he approached me and looked like he had something stuck up his own ass. 

“You think strolling into the palace and our first introduction being a little bitch was something adorable?” Someone’s wife just got screwed. But not by his own cock. Does he not remember how that conversation started? Because I remember him saying that I was able to make his cock hard after my introduction to the Emperor. Most women would find that flattering, I find it repulsive. 

“Not adorable. I believe they call it an honest chap who calls you out on your wrong doings. Hernán if you want to take a break go for it. You’ve had a long journey.” Turning my attention completely on Grigor as Hernán left the room. Grigor marched towards me as I stood there watching this poor excuse of a man try to act as if he was a top bitch. Poor men like him make me sigh and want to drink for them. 

“Are you trying to intimidate me?” When he got a little close for comfort I stuck out my sabre to aim it directly in the middle of his chest. 

“Trust me. You don’t want to get any closer.” 

“You think you’re flimsy little sword scares me? It’s fake.” He pushed it away as I hit him in the shoulder with it. 

“Ouch!” He grabbed his arm to then march towards me with all of his wrath showing. Smacking him on his leg which caused him to yelp in pain. 

“I should have the guards whip you!” I would love him to try and have one of the guards lay a finger on me. Oh how I would love it!

“Grigor. I warn you. IF you think Russian women are crazy, you wouldn’t last a minute back in Italy. We women use our fist and words to solve our problems. Instead of whispers and tea parties like your wife.” He reached down for one of the fencing swords as if he was going to stab me. 

“Go ahead. Do you think you scare me? Catherine told me everything about you. You let the Emperor eat fruit out of your own wife’s cunt. If you let the Emperor walk all over you like that, then why would I let you try to intimidate me. You even threatened to have guards sent after me instead of dealing it yourself.” My sabre lashed towards the fencing sword of mine to knock it out of his hands. 

“Besides. You can’t lay one finger on my body. If one scar is placed on my body from you, the guards, or Peter himself. Italy joins the Swedish and we run over your little shit hole of a palace. Then I place my own private home in St. Petersburg and have you wash the floors.” The tip of my blade was underneath his chin as he kept a straight face. 

“I don’t like making threats but when you come storming in here expecting me to bend over to kiss your ass. A position you're familiar with obviously. But when you threaten to have the guards whip me well.” Grigor began storming off as I followed him very close. 

“Tell me Grigor. Do you wish this kind of life for yourself?” He kept shaking his head as I was trying to talk to him. 

“To allow some man child rule over such a beautiful country!” Halting in front of me to turn his heel sharply. 

“He’s not a man child!” He growled as he turned towards me. 

“And you’re a dumb ass. We can be doing this all day.” 

“What do you want?” 

“You approached me Grigor! I was quite content having my fencing lessons then you came waltzing in here expecting an apology. To quote my mother when I argue with my brothers from home. Ladies are not allowed to start fights, but we are surely allowed to finish them.” Grabbing his collar to pull him closer to me. 

“For once be a man and solve your own problems instead of cowering under the fucking bed.” Grigor's eyes widened at my statement as we just kind of stared at each other. I noticed that both my and Grigors bottom lips were shaking a little bit. Biting it to stop it twitching as I let go of him. 

“Forgive me. I can be..quite..of a dick when it comes to my passions.” Taking a step back as my throat gets dry. 

“I am too. Perhaps we both got off on the wrong foot with each other.” I placed down my sabre to rub my hands together. 

“Perhaps we did. After hearing what Catherine was doing through and Peter punching her in the stomach. I was sort of mad at the world and everyone in it.” 

“And with my wife..constantly sleeping with the Emperor. I’m sort of not in the right place with myself. May I reintroduce myself.” Grigor finished as I slightly smiled at him. 

“You may.” 

“Grigor Dymov.” He bowed as I was going to play along. 

“Duchess Chiara of Trento.” Holding out my hand for him to place a kiss on it. 

A quite refreshing restart. 

Taglist

@mirkwoodshewolf​ @bonafiderocketqueen​ @filmslutt​ @leah-halliwell92​ @johndeaconshands​ @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​ @radio-hoo-ha​ @i-have-a-wonky-eye-too​ @deck-heart​ @arrowswithwifi​  @stardust-killer-queen​ @the-baby-bookworm​ @actuallyanita​ @sadhwstudent​ 

[teddybear-yn]

[nct dream’s remnants of you]

renjun

jewelry

he absolutely loves seeing you all bedazzled and blinged out

earrings, necklaces, anklets, rings, even nose, lip, or belly button rings if you have those

you always end up bringing more than one pair when you go to his house for a date

because he always gives the most insightful opinions on which ones’ll match your outfit for the day

did I mention how he also bought this really cute jewelry box for you? just so your jewelry doesn’t get lost or tangled

sometimes wears some of them, only when you think it’s cool

cleans them for you every now and then

jeno

t-shirt and tops

every single time you went to Jeno’s, you would end up in his hoodie

it’s a given

which is why when you see his room, there’s nothing but your shirts, blouses, any tops in general just lying around everywhere

cause wearing both is too stuffy so you end up taking yours off anyways

some days, you wished it was socially acceptable to go to Jeno’s in just a bra

but sadly it isn’t yet

plus Jeno would freak out trying to cover you from the other members.

donghyuck (haechan)

makeup

if you ever tried going to Donghyuck’s with makeup on already, he would flip out

THEN he’d make you take it all off again

just so he could watch help you with it

you would have a whole stash of makeup (literally almost a whole vanity) in his room because of that

don’t doubt that one day he’d make you bring your personal makeup mirror from home just to do your makeup with you for a special occasion like a bday dinner

some day he will also want you to make a youtube account just so you can do one of those ‘boyfriend does my makeup’ videos

loves when you powder his nose one last time before leaving for a date or smth

jaemin

hair ties / scrunchies

even if it were like a piece of garter you saw lying around somewhere, if you used it to tie your hair he’d keep it

literally has a bowl of stuff you used to tie your hair

i think theres a scarf in there too

on dates, he wears them like bracelets cause according to him it’s a ‘boyfriend aesthetic’

but really, he only does cause you end up forgetting to bring one and ask it from him anyways

will buy you the cutest hair ties and scrunchies he sees anywhere

also, don’t be weirded out when you catch him smelling them sometimes, he says it’s one of his calming down tactics

chenle

purses / bags

this boy always has the craziest dates planned so you always end up leaving your purse at his place

also, not saying he a sugar daddy, but he always tells you that you don’t need to bring anything, so again, your purse gets left at his

like renjun, he finds it fun matching your purse to your outfit

maybe it’s cause 80% of your purses are from him but idk

carries your purse for you sometimes out on dates, like jaemin, he thinks it’s a ‘boyfriend aesthetic’

he will make you put a lot of his stuff in your purse

also, fun fact, he tried to catch a pigeon with your purse once, he didn’t catch it

jisung

hair clips

jisung may be a somewhat shy baby but he literally has mastered that one romance scene where the guy brushes hair away from the girl’s face

he also thinks that buying you hair clips aren’t too burdensome and are cute while being lowkey

also has a bowl of all your clips at his

tbh you bring a lot on purpose cause you love putting some of them on jisung’s hair

he has a lot of hair so you can fit a lot of clips in his head

again with the ‘boyfriend aesthetic’ except this time you’re the perpetrator, you always clip one or two on his clothes when going out

he doesn’t mind one bit tho

bonus: mark

perfume

maybe you had a little hobby of collecting those tiny perfume samples

absolutely loves spraying some in his room every now and then to have your scent while you’re away

on his pillowcases most of the time so he can sleep better

he’s so sweet cause when he sprays it on you for you sometimes

right before you leave for a date he’ll be like ‘pssht der you go’

if it’s a less sweet fragrance, you’ll catch him spraying it on himself sometimes, just cause he thinks it ‘smells so good’

also, maybe because he barely has any of his own

*lmk if you want me to make one for other groups!

[sleeplesssheep]

Veni, Vidi, Vici (part six)

He was tall, handsome and steamy. Salt and pepper hair sat upon his head like a crown of wisdom, and a mark of brilliance. The human man’s eyes were pools of sparkling cobalt. This human was a doctor, which was obvious from the white coat and stethoscope wrapped around his neck. Doctor… Daddy- same thing. 

“Oh, but Derek, we can’t!” Cried a much younger medical resident, similar to the stethoscope- this woman wrapped her arms tightly around the handsome Doctors neck and began to cry loudly. 

Derek leaned away from the brunette, and looked lovingly downwards at her. 

“I’m not going to stop loving you, Meredith. I can live without you, but I don’t want to live without you. And I’m going to do everything in my power to prove it.” 

A loud sob broke through the room, quickly accompanied by hiccuping and cursing. Popcorn suddenly flew out of Breanna’s hands and gently bounced off the large television at contact. 

“Don’t do it, Meredith! Don’t leave him!” Brea cried out in frustration, hot tears puddling over in her eyes. The expensive charcoal polyester couch shook under her as Breanna moved quickly off it, shedding the cashmere blanket that previously covered her naked legs. 

“Ugh!” The witch groaned in frustration as the television quickly switched to commercial. Just as an older man was discussing his lack of erections as of late, Montclair entered the room wearing a bewildered expression. 

“What the devil is going on here? I have a conference call in five minutes-” The Vampire's red hair appeared a dark brown in the evening light as he walked around the living room to examine the witch. Seeing her teary eyes, the Roman immediately startled and became alert.

“Oh, you have no idea! Derek, and Meredith, well they’re soulmates and they don’t even realize it yet- but I do! And she won’t give him a chance because--” Breanna sputtered about pacing, her face becoming flushed as she ranted. 

Realizing that there were no vampires, witches or demons making an attempt on her life Baldwin relaxed. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply in an attempt to calm himself. Deus, this television thing was a mistake. 

Breanna and he had come to an agreement of sorts. She couldn’t leave the property without him, nor make contact with others (this included work emails much to Breanna’s annoyance). In return for this submissive behavior, which was not usual for the witch, Montclair would provide television for entertainment and allow her to contact her Aunt’s and cousins on occasion. Both of them knew this peace treaty of sorts would only last a few days as Breanna was planning on voicing her issues soon. 

However, the vampire had yet to inform her that a) her Aunt Emily had perished and b) that her cousin Diana and his brother, Matthew, had run away to the past in an attempt to escape prosecution. 

To be plainly put, he wasn’t looking forward to the upcoming phone calls. But, deceiving her was necessary for her safety. 

Baldwin dragged a hand down his face and checked the time on his Rolex. 

“Two minutes,” Baldwin reminded Breanna, distracting her momentarily.

In Baldwin’s brief moment of self pondering, Breanna had begun to levitate around the room muttering to herself angrily. At Baldwin’s interruption, however, she fell to the ground and landed gracefully on the tips of her toes. As time passed (today was the eighteenth day that they had been sharing the apartment together) Breanna had become more casual around the vampire. This resulted in her constant humming while cleaning or cooking, as well as her use of her magical powers. Not that Montclair was going to admit it, but this pleased the beast within him. 

Despite her new level of comfort with him, he had yet to reach that level with her. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, just that Baldwin’s guard rarely fell down and when it did- that was something momentous.

“What did you say?” Breanna’s eyes cleared and she flushed with embarrassment as she realized how caught up she had been in Greys Anatomy. She quickly took in the vampires bewildered expression, his iPhone in one hand and his gold Rolex shining upwards at his face. Clearly, he was busy and didn’t have time for this. 

‘Oh fuck meeeee,’ She sang in her head. In an effort to distract herself before she combusted from the mortification of this whole evening, Breanna began picking the popcorn up. 

“I have a conference call in two minutes and it simply cannot happen if you are shouting and running about like a child,” 

Part of her ego wanted to roll her eyes at his comment, while the other part stung to hear him compare her to a child. 

Rude vampire. 

Breanna muttered an apology under her breath and continued to restore the living room to its previous cleanliness. Little did she realize, however, the silk robe she was wearing just so lifted in a way as she bent forward, attracting the vampire’s eyes immediately. 

Just as he would occasionally feel her tingling eyes on him, she felt the icy patches blossom right on her bottom. Breanna whipped up immediately, her hands squeezing the popcorn so hard it began to crumble. 

Neither of them addressed what had just happened, instead, Baldwin returned to his office and Breanna to the couch. But, before either of them had settled down into their separate activities, both served themselves hefty glasses of wine.

It was, after all, the best tonic for a supernatural.

-------------------

The next morning Breanna sat perched in front of a vanity in her room. Despite being adjacent to the vampire Montclair, she never saw him enter or leave it, and never heard anything from him. Montclair had given her a large bedroom that was decorated beautifully. It had dark wooden floors that were sparingly covered with a white area rug which contrasted pleasantly with the dark navy walls. Two french doors opened up onto the street below (after her railing adventure Montclair had taken up to put chairs on each balcony in an effort to curb her much more risky method of viewing) and took up most of the right side of the room. On the opposite wall was a fireplace so giant a Volkswagon bug could fit inside,  and surrounding it was a collection of antique-looking chairs. 

In fact, her entire room was kinda ancient. Breanna was an anthropologist and could easily appreciate such aged furniture and creations, but her specialty was not in goods but rather the people that made them. 

Using the mirror in front of her, she eyed her bedroom once again- taking in the extravagant curves, lines, and details in the expensive furniture. 

Definitely French. 

It was early morning in London, around eight o’clock or so. The witch stared blankly at her reflection as she thought of home. Her cat and the Madison Country neighborhood were sleeping as of now, unconscious to the rest of the world. 

Suddenly, a shine of white caught Breanna’s attention. 

“Jesus, is that what I think it is?” She leaned forward and brushed her hair to the side revealing a single white hair. Goddess, the vampire was aging her. Though Breanna had never dyed her hair, being pent up in this apartment for more then two weeks was starting to make her a little stir crazy. She thought of Diana, her cousin, and her beautiful straw colored hair. 

“It’s good to change,” Breanna encouraged herself. 

A simple spell came to mind and soon enough Breanna was chanting. When she opened her eyes to see the results, the witch grinned excitedly. Just as Baldwin was beginning to knock on her door, she threw it open to go see him. Both of them huffed awkwardly as Breanna almost flew into Baldwin. In an effort to keep her grounded (literally) Baldwin grasped her upper arms and forced her feet back to the ground. 

Blond wisps of hair floated around the both of them, crackling quietly as the magic left Breanna’s body. Her hair reminded Baldwin of a wild octopus- its legs waving around erratically. 

“Good morning, Miss. Bishop” Baldwin took a small breath as he examined her new hair and in doing so was assaulted by her scent. Jasmine, bluebells with the undertone of burning electricity. He had never seen a witch uses her power to dye her hair.

“So, what do you think?” She bounced up and down, shaking the vampire’s hands off of her. Breanna’s once amber hair, close to Baldwin’s shade, in fact, was now a honey blonde. Straight as a pin, it finally settled down onto her chest. 

“You look like your cousin,” He commented. 

Both of them noticed it wasn’t a compliment, rather just a statement of facts. Not that he would ever tell her, but Baldwin thought she was beautiful with her original coloring. Of course, now that he thought of it- two red-haired supernaturals moving about London would not be subtle.

Baldwin sighed as he moved passed into the witches’ room, doing his best not to breathe her smell. 

“You’ve met my cousin?” Breanna followed after him until they were both in front of the balcony. 

“Mmhmm.” 

“What kind of answer is that?” She exclaimed.

Baldwin eyed her from the corner of his eyes, realizing his mistake. He noticed the dark patches under her usually bright face, making her pretty face seem sick and sallow. The witch had not been sleeping well lately, and whether she had begun to notice this was unclear. Those who slept often didn’t remember their dreams, but Baldwin had heard her nightmares the night before. 

He shook his head and peered down at the quiet street below them. A gentle rain had started, cooling the air. 

“Baldwin, it is time we discussed this whole situation.” Breanna’s voice was confident and allowed no room for objection. The vampire turned from the balcony, his mouth parted open. Before he could speak, shout or do anything, Breanna held up a single finger. 

“I have stayed in your home. I have listened to you, respected you, and done my best to understand this situation. Something which, might I add, my cousin nor any other witch with some amount of sense would do. I trust you, only because my Aunt does. It has been more than two weeks, Baldwin, I can no longer sit by and wait. The Congregation is after me yes, I understand that. I am not stupid- I am just done with all of this nonsense.” Breanna spoke quickly and her hands fluttered about with each sentence. When she finished, her hands came to rest firmly on her rounded hips.  

Montclair processed everything she said. The witch made logical points, but it did not change the fact that they were in danger. More so, she was. He began walking out of her room and as he reached her door, Baldwin called back to the expecting witch,  “We are calling your Aunt today. I thought it would be good to fill her in on everything- as well as share my findings.”

As the door closed behind him Breanna cursed and sat on one of the chairs in front of the fireplace. This lack of communication on his part was begging to get the best of Breanna’s usually calm and docile soul. Sourcing her anger she shot a stream of fire into the hearth, igniting the logs immediately. 

“Goddess, guide me…” Breanna whispered, her face glowing from the flames. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later in the evening, Breanna and Montclair had settled in his office. The witch had never actually been in his office and was not the least surprised by its size, decor, and oppressive ambiance. Breanna sat comfortably in a Victorian age chair across from Montclair and eyed the surrounding room while he was calling her Aunt. Floor to ceiling bookcases covered three of the four walls and held hundreds if not thousands of ancient books. Breanna’s fingers itched to touch them.  

She snapped out of it when a strong, familiar voice called out. 

“Hello, Baldwin.” 

“Aunt Sarah!” Breanna called out, ecstatic. Her voice was high pitched with excitement and relief. She had attempted to call her aunt the other day but the older witch did not answer. 

“Brea, baby. How are you? Oh, it’s so good to hear your voice. I am so sorry baby, about this and when you get here I’ll tell you everything-” 

Baldwin coughed and interrupted Sarah, caused Breanna’s hazel eyes to flicker up to him in confusion. 

“Sarah, I am sure you want to catch up with your niece but at this moment I have some pressing concerns. As we know the Congregation is looking for Breanna, and though they have yet to trace her here, I imagine they will soon enough. Breanna is under the impression that it would be best to bring her to Sept-Tours, but I am not sure that is the best move. Tell me, is Ysabeau with you?” 

“Yes, she is right here with me.” Breanna paled at the French name, recognizing it from countless warnings and horror stories told to her as a child. It must be taking a tremendous amount of strength from her Aunts to be within the same walls as Ysabeau de Clermont.

Breanna breathed deeply and closed her eyes and felt that if she concentrated enough, just the sound of Sarah’s voice was enough to transport her home. Montclair smelled the change in Breanna and was suddenly aware of her inner sadness, and fear. The young witches breathing slowed, and her hair vibrated gently. 

“As much as I want to bring Breanna home, her safety is my priority. Tell me, what should I do?”

On both sides, there was a pregnant pause. The vampire, Baldwin Montclair, asking for other thoughts? How rare it was of him. 

Breanna was shocked out of her spell by his question and eagerly listened to what her Aunt would say. In the back of her mind, she made a note to question Baldwin later on his witch killing vampire mother Ysabeau. 

“I don’t know, Baldwin. I think bringing her here where we can protect her as a family would be best, would it not Sarah?” Ysabeau’s voice was soft, her French accent was heavy. 

“Perhaps,” Baldwin sighed heavily, “it would be best.”

“I don’t want to bring more trouble, if this is what we will do- perhaps it is best to stay and hide.” Breanna spoke quickly, coming to the realization that the Congregation could follow them and harm not only her family, but Baldwin’s. It was not until hearing the voice of her Aunt that Brea felt this way. 

Baldwin looked sharply at her, disgruntled by what she had said. A flicker of respect burned in his eyes as they looked upon eachother. Despite only knowing Montclair for less than a month, a never meeting his family, Brea did not want to bring trouble to their door. 

“Do not underestimate my family, Bishop.” He scolded her. 

“And do not speak to my niece like that, Montclair.” Sarah was quick to snap, her anger could be felt by both Breanna and Baldwin, despite her being hundreds of miles away. 

Breanna’s heart swelled and her stomach dropped. She looked into Baldwins brown eyes, pleading with him silently. 

“We will be there by next week.” With one click, Baldwin ended the conversation. 

The two of them sat in silence for a moment, deep in their own thoughts. Breanna wrapped her cashmere cardigan tighter around her torso and sighed softly. What had happened to her life? Icy patches bloomed along her face as Montclair examined her expression. He wished to know what she was thinking. Her dark eyebrows were turned down in a frown and her eyes were staring blankly at her jean clad pants. Breanna’s lips opened in thought then closed once again. 

“What is it, witch?” Montclair hid his curiosity beneath the layer of contempt in his voice. 

“The Congregation will know that we will have relocated to Sept Tours, will they not? You are a member of the council, charged with bringing me into questioning. They surely will trace our movement…” Breanna looked deeply into the vampires eyes, and stood bracing her hands on the dark surface of his desk. Her hair begin to rise ever so, its strands vibrating in the air. “Unless we convince them that we have remained in London, they will quickly guess where we have gone.” 

The Bishop witch was right, Baldwin grudgingly agreed. He, of course, had already thought of this and had a plan to trick the Congregation. 

[cruecifymesixx]

Love and Leather /part twenty two/

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: I have nothing to say for this one? Kinda soft Nikki? but not really cause he’s a shithead. Also Vanity kinda being more open? Since she’s very closed off??  Enjoy! Let me know what you think :)

Warnings: just language, some drug talk

Taglist: @brideofdraculana, @xstarryeyes, @aryssav, @miserablecunt, @electradestiny, @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol, @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies, @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless, @tiranni, @venus-calum, @justjodeye, @supernaturalvikingwhore, @are-we-real, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland, @dillightfulpickle, @baiabouk, @awesomealmostdopestudent, @madsthegroupie, @martabastic, @romanticvengeance, @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill, @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @motlycrue, @brooklyn-antiques, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy, @thanks2pete, @slowandangry, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @swoopygorl, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @yxzzie420, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @wheresmyvodkabitch

February ‘85

“You need to take a shower Van, you look gross...and you need to put some medicine on that eye.” I glared up at Tonya, who was standing over me with her her hands on her hips.

“I’m fine.” I lied. Of course I lied, no one understands how depressed and withdrawn I am. “Get up and take a shower. Now!” She yelled, ripping the blanket off of me, “Damnit Tonya! Leave me alone!” I yelled, getting off the couch and grabbing the blanket back, but to no avail as she quickly took it away again.

“No! I’m not letting you sit around here and mope! You have work tonight, you need to get cleaned up.” She said, as I plopped back down on the couch, “Do you wanna talk about it?” She asked me, causing me to shoot another glare at her. “Alright fine. We don’t have to talk, but please take a shower, eat something too. I haven’t seen you eat anything since yesterday morning.” She said and I sighed, contemplating if I should tell her to fuck off and let me be. Interrupting my train of thought, the doorbell rang. I took it as my way to get out of the confrontation.

“I’ll get it.” I told her as I walked through the hall and to the front door & opening it, then quickly slamming it again.

Nikki was on the other side, “Doll, just hear me out, please!” I leaned against the door and faced Tonya, “Get him out of here, now.” I grumbled, walking away from the door, Tonya quickly replacing my spot in front of the white door, quickly opening it.

“Come on in Sixx!” Tonya said cheerfully making me stop dead in my tracks. “Maybe you can talk some sense into her cause she’s being a bitch!” Tonya shouted, “Yeah, what the fuck ever, Ton.” I spat back at her.

I noticed Nikki was holding a bouquet of red roses in his hands, “Why the fuck do you have those?” I asked him, his lips curling into a small smile. “They’re for you, doll.” He moved his hand forward, trying to hand them to me. His smile falters as I don’t move a muscle. “I thought they would make you feel better.” He added on, I smirked and rolled my eyes.

“Make me feel better? Or make you feel better for being an asshole?” I questioned him, I noticed his eyes squint as he watched me. I already knew I was testing his patience.

“I’ll take those.” Tonya said, taking them to the kitchen to probably put them in a vase. “You look like shit.” Nikki commented on my appearance, plopping down on the couch.

“So do you. When was the last time you slept?” I questioned him, “I’m fine.” I rolled my eyes and sat down next to him.

He placed his hand on my thigh, as his finger started drawing shapes on my skin. “I’m sorry doll. I’m sorry he did this to you.” He said, placing his free hand under my chin, examining my face.

My lip was almost healed, purple shades no longer prominent unless someone was up close. But my eye, I can’t get the swelling to go down. I’m pretty sure something is broken underneath, or at the least fractured.

“Why would he even do this to you?” Nikki asked, a look of frustration on his face. I pulled away from his touch.

“It’s something he’s always done! He’s a literal walking piece of shit, Nikki!” I shouted back at him, pulling my knees to my chest as I rested against the arm of the couch facing him.

“He’s done this before?!” Nikki shouted back at me, “and you just let him come back into your life! What the fuck Van! How could you be so dumb! Why didn’t you tell me from the beginning!?” Nikki argued a much valid point.

I shrugged, “I just wanted to help you.” I respond quietly, “I didn’t want anything to happen to the band.” He sighed, taking my hand into his and gently brushing his thumb against it.

“I know you wanted to help, but I also told you not to get involved.” He reminded me, and I nodded

“I just wanted to help, I didn’t know it would lead to all of this.” I painfully mumbled, wiping my tears with the sleeve of my sweatshirt.

“What did he even do to you?” He asked, his finger gently rubbing against my cheek, “Now? Or then?” I asked him, “All of it, I want to know now. I’m tired of you hiding things from me.” He demanded.

“He just, i don’t know...we were in love and then the next thing I know I had picture frames thrown at my head and a fist in my face.” I sighed, running my fingers through my oily, unbrushed hair.

“I don’t know why he changed or why he started, but he just did. It would start with small arguments, like I forgot to pick up his dry cleaning or I forgot to pair his dinner with his favorite whiskey. Just tiny insignificant shit like that.” Nikki nods, still in shock. “Well why did you get engaged to him?” I shrugged, “It was before all of that, but it’s strange when he proposed. I just had a gut feeling I shouldn’t say yes, but I did anyways cause I loved him. At the time he was the only guy I’ve ever been with and wanted to be with.” I told him, but he just shook his head in disagreement.

“And then his first major blow up, he punched the wall and threw a bottle of Jack near my head. It shattered behind me, and then after that I mouthed off to him and he smacked me across the face and split my lip open.” I let out a sad laugh at my own misfortune and naivety.

“We had a party to go to for Daddy that weekend, and I had to explain to a whole bunch of rich snobby housewives what happened to my face cause make up still wasn’t enough to cover up the bruising.”

“Why would you stay with him? You really bought his whole ‘I won’t do it again’ monologue?” Nikki questioned, I shrugged yet again.

“I have a soft spot in my heart for egomaniac assholes, that’s why you’re still here.” I joked with him, but he didn’t find it funny as I got an eye roll in return.

“And then uh, what else...oh, he broke my nose by shoving me face first into the wooden stairs of our home because I turned my back to him to walk away cause he was drunk. The bleeding wouldn’t stop afterwards, so he took me to the hospital, and I had to lie in front of the nurses and the doctors as he held my hand so fucking tight. I swore he was gonna break it too.” Nikki looked like he was thinking.

“Is that why your breathing is all fucked up when you sleep? Cause man you sound like you’re fucking suffocating, it’s annoying.” He said, laughing which made me smile, “I had no idea, do I snore too?” I asked him, he shook his head.

“Only when I slipped you smack, you were out like a fucking light, but no, you don’t really snore that much.” I nodded, finding it cute that he payed attention to a minuscule detail like that.

“The only time he let go of my hand that night is when they reset my nose cause I squeezed his hand so hard it turned white.” I said with a giggle.

“And then....” I sighed, “I don’t remember much cause I passed out...I, Uh...god damnit.” I started feeling myself getting choked up, as my voice cracked.

“Just breathe, doll..” Nikki said as he scooted closer and gripped my arm, pulling me to lean into his side as he wrapped an arm around me.

“I was sleeping and he came home drunk, I’ve never seen him drunk like that. He woke me up by ripping the blankets off of me and told me to get the fuck up. He then started going on this tangent that I was cheating on him. I never cheated on him ever, I was faithful to him, I-I did everything for him.” I cleared my throat, and looked up at Nikki.

“He was a hunter, or still is, I don’t know. But he had a knife collection that was in our room on the wall and he grabbed one out of the case and started waving it around the air and around my face.” I watched as Nikki’s eyes widened.

“So I tried leaving, I told him I was gonna go to my parents house for the night, but he wasn’t letting me. He was saying ‘oh you’re just saying that, you’re just gonna go fuck that guy right?’ And ‘you’re not ever leaving me, if I can’t have you no one can’ and so on.”

I paused for a moment, “And then he literally started chasing me around the house, and our house was pretty big. I was in my underwear trying to get out of the house but all the fucking doors were locked and it was done with a code, and I couldn’t remember the code because he always did it before we went to bed.”

“Did he fucking stab you?” Nikki shouted, throwing his arm off of me and standing up. I sighed and stood up with him. I turned my back to him and pulled up my shirt.

“He almost severed my spine, mere inches from it, I had to go through four hours of surgery.” I explained while pulling my shirt back down.

“I’ve looked at that scar every single time. Every time I’ve seen you naked or getting dressed, wondering how you got it, and that fucking prick did it, I’m gonna fucking kill him.” Nikki said, walking over to my landline.

“What are you doing?” I asked, following him, “I’m calling Doc, and asking where the fuck this fucker is staying.” Nikki retorted, punching in numbers, but I quickly grabbed the phone and hung it back up on receiver.

“You’re not doing anything! Tommy was right, I’ve been through enough with him, I don’t need anymore shit to happen, please?” I batted my eyelashes at him, making him groan. He examined the fear in my eyes, his body relaxing after a moment.

“Fine, but next time I see him...I’m going to fuck him up.” Nikki growled, I nodded in agreement.

“Now, stop being emotional, stop sitting around and go take a shower. And be nice to your fucking roommates, they’re just trying to be there for you.” He ordered, and I rolled my eyes.

“Fine.” I said, forcing myself off the couch but I felt him follow me up the stairs, “Where do you think you’re going?” I asked him, as we walked into my room.

“I thought you’d want some company....” He trailed off, giving me an award winning smile that made my stomach do summersaults, but I wasn’t about to let him off that easily.

“Oh no, you fucked up, you laughed when you saw my face...plus you’ve been a huge dick lately.” I told him, he seemed rather surprised.

“I said I was sorry.” He shrugged and sat down on my bed, “Do you even know what that word means, Nikki? You seem to say it a lot but you keep repeating your actions.” I retorted.

“What were you even on last weekend? I’ve never seen you that fucked up before.” I asked mildly concerned.

He sighed, looking at everything but me. “It was just coke, I wasn’t feeling well either.” He was quiet, I knew he was hoping I would buy into his lie. I knew he was lying as he shifted uncomfortably and twiddled with his thumbs.

“Okay.” I stated, then walked into the bathroom and took a shower.

Nikki’s POV

I groaned, laying back onto her bed the moment she closed the door, letting out a puff of air i’ve been holding in. The seconds felt like hours when she asked me. I can’t stand the look on her face when she knows I’m lying to her.

I’m trying to wean myself off the junk, so far so good. But anytime my dealer calls or stops by my house, I always cave to my craving for the high.

I just don’t want to worry her, the boys know I’ve found a new liking in heroin, but it’s Vanity that pops into my head when I get high...I knew she would flip out if she ever found out what I was up too, and probably leave.

The coke, the booze, the pot and acid, they don’t do anything for me anymore. They’re all just love affairs...but heroin, I’m absolutely in love with her, she makes it so hard for me to leave her.

Maybe I should give my dealer a call. And then maybe I should get some food for Vanity, I know she likes Chinese.

I left her room, walking down the stairs and peering over the banister to see if Tonya was around, but luckily she wasn’t.

I picked up the phone and called my dealer.

“Hey, man...it’s Nikki. Could you make a house call?” I asked, waiting for his answer of how much I’d want. “Uh, same as last time..just a few eight balls...could you also stop and get some Chinese food? My girl is hungry.” He started yelling about how he had to go out of his way.

“I’m about to give you my fucking money, just fucking do this one thing for me, alright?” I growled quietly, he finally gave in. What a fucking asshole. I’m practically giving him and his bitch the lifestyle they want with my money.

I gave him Vanitys address, “Yeah man, thanks see you in a little bit.” I hung up the phone, “Who was that?” I practically jumped out of my boots, turning around to see a dripping wet Vanity in a towel.

“I Uh, I ordered some food for us.” I told her, “Oh, well thanks.” She said, walking past me to the washer and dryer and pulling out clothes.

“Did you hear that phone call?” I asked, scared that she may have heard me. “No? God you’re fucking weird.” She replied, I noticed she had bruises on her arms from that fucking punk. Her eyes meeting mine, her face slightly dropping as she follows where mine are looking. She quickly turns around, putting an oversized shirt on and dropping the towel.

“Did it happen after I left?” I asked her, she nodded without turning around, “Yeah, he was kissing me and grabbed my tits, but I pushed him off of me and that’s when he lost his cool.” She explained,

“He fucking kissed you?” I spat at her angrily. I was more pissed that this stupid prick put his fucking lips on her, but that should’ve been the least of my worries. The thought of another man touching her the way I do, is just enough anger to set me off.

She didn’t say anything in return. “What did you order?” She asked me, “Huh?” I was confused, thinking only of him forcing himself on her, “The food Nikki..what did you get?” She reminded me, “Oh...uh some Chinese food.” I told her, she just nodded.

“Do you want some blow?” I asked, not really knowing how to make her feel better. “I’m fine.” She said with no emotion as she plopped back down on the couch, blankly staring at the tv.

“Well, What can I do to make you better?” I asked, awkwardly sitting down next to her, still getting no response from her. “Hello? Anyone home?” I said waving my hand in front of her face, but even that didn’t get a response.

The silence was deafening to me, I couldn’t stand it. I hated that she wasn’t her usual bubbly, down to earth self. Maybe I could fuck this attitude out of her?

“Let’s go upstairs..” I said placing a kiss on the side of her head, “before the food gets here.” I whispered in her ear, trailing my mouth down to her neck, giving her a kiss. But still, she wasn’t budging.

“I wanna hear those pretty noises that come out of you.” I said, putting my hand on her bare thigh and slowly creeping my fingers up, but she stopped me, “No.” I sighed and moved away from her, pouting like an upset child.

I really needed my guy to hurry up and fucking get here.

“Oh good, you showered!” Tonya chirped as she came down the stairs, “Yeah, so leave me alone.” Vanity snapped at her, “Quit being a brat, should I tell Francisco you’re not coming to work again?” Tonya asked, probably getting ready to leave since she was in her work uniform, “I’ll be there tomorrow.” Vanity replied. Tonya stood there with her hands on her hip, almost like a disapproving mother.

“What? I’ll go tomorrow! My face is still fucked up I’m not leaving this house until it’s better, I look ugly.” Vanity said, “Shut up, you look beautiful as always.” I butted in, receiving a small smile from her, as she put her hand on the side of my face, “Thank you.” She said, then there was a knock on the door.

“I got it.” Tonya said, and I quickly jumped up, pushing past her, “I got it!” I shouted while quickly opening the door.

“Oh hey man...here’s the junk...and the food.” My dealer spoke, but I sent him a death glare, “Shut up.” I said as I frantically searched my pants and jacket for my wallet, only feeling empty pockets.

“Fuck, I don’t know where my wallet is. I think I left it at home.” I told him, “How much is it?” Vanity asked, popping up behind me, “What?” My dealer, Jason spoke up, “The food? How much is it...I got it Sixx.” She said, giving me a smile, “Okay.” Was all I could choke out, my heart felt as if it was gonna burst out of my chest.

“Oh right, twenty even.” Jason responded. A wave of relief rushing over me as he played along Vanity handed him the bill and then took the bag, “Thanks.” She said and walked away,

“Come by my place later...where is it?” I asked him, “Its in the bag with the food.” My eyes almost popped out of my head. I quickly slammed the door in his face. I walked in to the kitchen and the bag of food was right next to her as she was going through it.

“He was weird.” Vanity said as she turned around holding a container of chow mein, stuffing her face, “Hey don’t eat it all, I gotta eat too.” I said, grabbing the bag from the counter and taking it to the living room.

I went through the bag, and found my baggie of a few eight balls. I sighed in relief, knowing it would hold me over for a few days, I quickly shoved them into my pocket.

“Actually Doll, you can eat...I’m gonna head out.” I told her while standing up and facing her.

“Oh...will you come back?” She asked, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Probably not...we’re working on a new album for when Vince gets out...I’m calling it Theater of Pain.” I told her, but I just wanted to get home and slam a needle into my arm.

“Okay, well thanks for coming over. And thank you for the flowers...they’re nice.” She said, touching the petals of a rose.

“You’re welcome, Princess. I’m glad you liked them...I’ll see you in a few days.” I told her as I grabbed her hand, placing it behind my neck. She nodded, taking another bite of the food.

I gave her a kiss on the forehead, but then she pointed at her lips. I groaned, “Not after you’re eating all that.” I joked, making her roll her eyes.

“You taste like whiskey and cigarettes all the time, yet I don’t complain.” She had a valid point. “Alright, fair enough.” I said then placed a kiss on her lips. Her lips made me want to stay for more but I needed to get back to my house.

“Stay with me.” She said into the kiss, I sighed and pulled away from her. “He’s still in jail, it can wait.” She added on while attaching her lips onto mine.

“I gotta go Vanity, I’m sorry.” I broke the kiss once more causing a dissatisfied moan to come from her. “I just...I gotta work.” I said, as she finally nodded in understandment, “Okay, I’ll see you later.” She replied, I gave her a kiss on the cheek before walking out the door, fumbling with the baggie of heroin that was in my jacket pocket.

[artificialqueens]

And Now, We Wait (Branjie) - SnowBun

A/N: This took two weeks, at least ten cups of coffee, a visit to my best friend I haven’t seen in three years that lives eight hours away, and a fantastic beta (thank you and bless your soul pink-grapefruit-cafe) to write. Sorry to keep everyone waiting for this one since I announced I was writing this WEEKS ago, but it took a lot of planning and visualizing. I hope I do your Branjie dreams justice. If you have anything to message me or want me to write stuff, message me on holymolypestoaioli!! Xoxo

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Break-ups aren’t supposed to be this amicable. Not that he would know. To be honest, he’s really just guessing at this point.

The words and the bright white smile plastered on Jose’s face makes him think it’s not so bad, but then he sees the pain in his eyes. It isn’t like a knife that he plunged straight into his chest. No, it’s more like a flesh-eating disease.

He isn’t sure which one of them starts crying, but he knows he’s the first one to start laughing. His soft chuckle blends with his cackle, a cacophony of sound that paints the taupe hotel walls with miserable irony.

The smile on Jose’s face fades away with the laughter, and he thinks he’s never seen anything more heartbreaking before in his life. It’s all that is good and beautiful in the world, and he’s tearing it apart with his bare hands.

He opens up his arms, and when the shorter man melts into him, he realizes how unfair life is. The tears soaking through his grey t-shirt don’t belong there. The pained, heaving breaths don’t belong there. The only thing that belongs are the arms wrapped around his waist, tight like a corset.

Don’t leave.

He means for the thought to pass, but it lingers in his brain a little too long, just enough to make him wonder if this is the right thing to do. It’s just enough to make him wonder if this is what freedom should feel like.

There’s a final sob and shake to the fragile body with its skin like papers slipped under hotel room doors. He pushes away the thought, stores it in a filing cabinet that he might look at one day.

Jose pulls away from him, and he searches for the disease that dulls the glimmer in the brown eyes he’d started to call home. He hides them well enough for him to let any thoughts of taking it all back fade away.

He places a kiss on his forehead. There are words there, just floating around in the air, but he doesn’t say them. He leaves them there for Jose to find in the morning.

He loves him, he’s sure. He wouldn’t leave him if he didn’t.

December is easy enough to get through.

The number of whispers that she’s on season 11 are proportional to the gigs that she’s offered, and the ache in her chest decreases exponentially. Reducing everything down to simple mathematics makes the time pass by faster.

She’s finishing up a gig in Texas when she meets a man whose skin turns purple under the lights of the bar. When she pushes him against a wall outside the club and smears her lipstick on his mouth, she remembers that his name is Charlie.

The hook-up in her hotel room is so fast that she doesn’t even take off her make-up. She crashes onto the bed, sated and spent, and turns over to watch Charlie throw his legs off the edge. He laces up his shoes and takes a bottle of water out of the fridge.

All of a sudden, she feels too naked. She covers her lower half with the sheets, but she knows that it has nothing to do with skin.

She looks out the wide windows overlooking the city and wonders what the city below sounds like. Does it sound like stumbling out of clubs in Chicago, drunk on kisses and tequila? Does it sound like blaring car horns in New York when the cab can’t get her to a gig fast enough to calm a petite queen’s nerves?

“Hey.”

Charlie’s voice breaks her out of her reverie. As she watches him scribble something on the notepad on the desk, she realizes that he’s really not her type. He’s too tall and clean cut. Not to mention his ass is flat.

She feels nothing when he kisses her goodbye.

The walk from the bed to the desk feels nothing short of mechanical. She takes a seat and looks in the mirror she’s left there. The lack of a wig and the sullied /;/makeup only vaguely remind her of Brooke Lynn. It seems about right because she isn’t sure if she feels like herself anymore.

One wipe after another erases any trace of Charlie from her lips. She watches herself scrub at them, but she doesn’t stop when it starts to sting.

She looks at the notepad and sees that he’s left his number behind. She rips off the piece of paper, balls it up, and throws it in the bin along with the string of numbers she’d encrypted in her head five months ago.

When all the makeup is gone, he goes to the bathroom and lets the shower run for a minute. He thinks he needs a cigarette. Or maybe two. Maybe a pack if he’s really being honest with himself.

He allows the scalding hot water to turn his skin red. The colour doesn’t make him think of flushed chests with cat tattoos after too many shots. He swears it doesn’t.

It’s the last Saturday of 2018 when she decides to call her.

“Hey!”

Her voice is bright, like LA sunshine streaming in through windows over pancakes for breakfast. She tastes the ghost of the sweetness of real maple syrup, none of that weird synthetic stuff, on her tongue when they fall into bed together.

“Hi.”

The word comes out as a shaky, tired sigh. She doesn’t realize how exhausted she is until she hears it. The past month has been nothing but work, and if she’s doing it to distract herself from how lonely she feels, she let it happen anyway.

“How you doing?”

I just smoked a pack of cigarettes because I wanted to breathe in air that doesn’t feel like it belongs to you.

“I’m doing good. You?”

“I got a gig here in Sacramento tonight.”

It’s 2000 miles too far away. She wants to see her, to just look at her to remind herself that she’s real, that those four months of happiness weren’t just a dream that she conjured up to keep herself sane.

As if on cue, she hears someone remind Vanjie that she has half an hour to get ready. She chuckles when she hears her reply with the requisite, “Yeah, yeah, I got it, bitch.” She misses it more than she wants to admit.

“Keep me company while I get ready?”

“Sure.”

She stays quiet, thinks of how she probably looks doing her makeup. The way she scrunches up her nose when she puts on the translucent powder, the way she squints her eyes when doing all the little details, the way she smiles when she thinks the contour is just right.

In contrast to the now blurred lines of her overdrawn lips after a night of performing and making out with trade, she thinks she must look perfect.

“Sooooo,” She drags the word out like a cigarette. “People suspect you’re coming back?”

“Bitch, I don’t gotta say a damn thing, all them hoes already know.”

She shrugs, feels the latex stuck to her shoulders as it shifts against her skin. “Well, no one deserved to come back more than you.”

“Awww, thanks B. Now, don’t make me cry or Imma head over there and whoop your ass.”

The banter is nice, normal, routine. It isn’t the game of pretend she was expecting. It’s friendship, and it’s a good one. She realizes it isn’t so bad after all.

“Shit.” She hears something fall. “Sorry, dropped my palette.”

“Damn, is it okay?”

“Broke an eyeshadow.” There’s a groan and she holds back a bemused laugh. “No worries, you’re going to get me a new one with that Anastasia money anyway.”

“You don’t even know if I’m going to win.”

“Ha!” She says it so loudly that she’s scared that she’ll lose hearing in her right ear. “You kidding me? I know you gonna win.”

She raises a sculpted eyebrow; ignores that she can’t see it on the other end. “What about the Dreamgirls, then?”

“Bitch, those hoes ain’t gonna give me shit if they win.”

The banter goes on, and if either of them remembers that the last time they spoke was when they woke up from drug-induced comas after being addicted to each other, they don’t mention it.

“You’re the only pussy I’ve ever fucked.”

She almost spits out her drink on the vanity. When she’d invited him to come to one of her gigs in LA, she wasn’t expecting him to be so distracting; but she doesn’t complain. He’s welcome to annoy her anytime, if she’s honest.

She spins around, throws a glare at the tiny Puerto Rican man cackling like his jaw has unhinged. His whole body laughs with him, his legs and arms flailing.

The laughter dies down into small chuckles, and she turns back to the mirror. She doesn’t remember putting that much blush onto her cheeks earlier.

The noise coming from the bar outside creeps its way into the dressing room, their safe haven. She wants everyone to shut up, wants everyone to respect how comfortable she is as she sinks into the blend of laughter and silence.

She’s called him every single day over the past two weeks, almost at the exact same time. She wants to be his friend, wants to be everything that she can to him without the commitment she knows she can’t afford. If it’s anything more than a desire for companionship, she overlooks it.

When she hears him humming along to American Boy, she stops begging for the music outside to stop.

She stares at herself in the mirror, all perfect lines and blended edges. She isn’t the best at painting her face, but as she watches the way her cheekbones shine under the fluorescent lights, she convinces herself that she’s damn good at it at the very least.

The material of her literal catsuit feels like a second skin. She looks at him through the mirror, watches as he scrolls through his phone and unconsciously bites his lip, and ignores how much she wants him to peel the layers away.

“Hey,” She turns to him, two lipsticks in her hands. “What color should I do?”

He taps a finger against his chin, and her eyes drift to the lips he’s puckered like he’s sucking on a Sour Patch kid. She’s mesmerized by the way his eyebrows furrow, the way his eyes narrow, the way he can’t stop making him look anywhere but fuck, stop it.

“The red one.”

Of course, he picks the red one. It’s his colour, and she knows it. He owns it, owns the ruby running through her veins, owns the plush velvet her feet rest on in her favourite hotel room, owns the sangria that goes straight to her head on Sundays with friends.

“Thanks.”

She draws his name, his body, his soul onto her lips. She sketches the sharp, precise lines, observes the way they turn into pleas stuck in the back of her throat because she’s too scared to be anything other than free.

“Good?”

He shoots her a smile and a thumbs up, and she wonders why she was expecting more.

There are three different moments where he thinks about refusing Jose’s offer.

The first is in the dressing room, when she takes off her mask and watches in the mirror as the one underneath smiles. He asks her if she wants to keep drinking at his place, laughingly says that it’s drinks and nothing more.

The second is when they’re walking, and all he can feel is the heat of LA, even in January. He sees the orange light of a streetlamp highlight the twinkle of Jose’s eyes in the absence of stars in the sky. He can’t really say no to that.

The third is when they’re at his front door, and Jose’s trying to dig his keys out of his pocket. “Shit, fuck, bitch,” He says under his breath, and he thinks he looks quite cute when he’s all frustrated.

He steps into the living room, and it hits him that everything is the same. Everything from the picture of Jose and his mom on the coffee table to the crease in the couch that he falls into when he gets home from the airport is the same.

By 3 AM, he has his long legs folded up onto the couch and his head set on Jose’s lap. There’s a hand playing at his curls, the colour of sunlight at noon. They listen to the sound of cars and steady breaths. It’s cosy, like sitting in front of fireplaces during winters in Canada.

“Remember those cream puffs we got that one time?”

“Mhmm.”

“Shit, I miss ‘em.”

He chuckles. He can still feel the alcohol coursing through him, even if it’s been half an hour since they’d last taken a shot of tequila that someone gave Jose for his birthday.

“You scared of anything?”

“What?”

“Anything.”

He thinks about his fear of showing too much emotion, his fear of failure, his fear of hurting people that fill the void that sucks everything up. They flash through his mind like a scrapbook, reminding him of all the things he pretends to not be afraid of.

“Spiders.”

“What the fuck?” He wonders briefly if the neighbours ever wake up in the middle of the night to that voice. “I was not expecting that.”

He laughs, and one of his curls is twirled around a finger. It’s intimate, but not romantic. It’s what they both need in a world as cold and cruel as the one they’ve signed up for. Not enough feels better than nothing.

“I have a flight at 10.”

There’s a groan, and an arm is thrown over his body before he can even make an attempt to get up. “Just leave your long log body here, we don’t gotta move.”

He looks up, sees the head thrown onto the back of the couch, and knows that the decision really isn’t his to make.

When Promo week rolls around, she suddenly feels the weight of thousands of eyes on her. They’re so heavy that she thinks that they might not even allow her to board the plane to LA.

They go to shoots and interviews, some of which she doesn’t even try to feign interest in. Her ears burn at the sound of questions repeated by different people who will never get to know who she is by asking her what filming was like.

The only thing that makes it better is drinking in Nina’s room at the end of the day. She’s sprawled out on the bed, Vanjie sitting on the edge beside her. Somewhere, she can hear Silky’s banshee laughter at one of Nina’s spot-on impressions.

The world stops in the small hotel room, too picturesque to be disturbed by the shitstorm that the rest of the universe is experiencing. As she lets the exhaustion from the first day seep into her skin, she feels the alcohol go straight to her toes.

“I’m going to stop drinking.”

She looks up, sees the eyebrow Vanjie’s raised so high it might just hit her wig line. Her eyes ask the question she can’t quite verbalize in the midst of Silky’s yelling. She shrugs at her, doesn’t bother to answer when there’s no judgment to answer to.

“Hey, you two.”

Their eyes travel to Nina who’s already out of drag and sipping on a drink.

“Did you answer each other?”

“What?”

Brooke’s eyebrows furrow together in puzzlement at the question. She looks to Vanjie, face blank like it always is whenever she doesn’t know the answer, and tries her best not to laugh out loud.

“When they asked you who the trade of the season is.”

“They didn’t ask me that.”

She watches Vanjie fold up her hands in her lap as her eyes fall. Her heart stops in her chest, suddenly petrified that pursuing this line of questioning would be too awkward for them, for this beautiful little thing they’ve built.

“Honey, we all know that I’m the true trade of season 11.”

Silky’s hands are on her hips, and she stares all three of them down. Laughter washes over the room, and the mood becomes infinitely lighter again. Brooke sees her shoot a quick wink at Vanjie when she thinks no one else is looking.

It dawns on her how delicate and fragile this all is. The rapport is perfect, probably the best thing she’s ever had since Steve came into her life. She can’t let it be destroyed by the world beyond the four walls.

She takes a deep breath, feels all her worry deep in her lungs. It slowly consumes her, devours her. She wastes away on Nina’s bed as notes of laughter and shouting harmonize all around her.

A hand starts to pat and stroke her wig, and she resolves to request that no interviews be done with them together.

The first thing she does after the episode airs is do a livestream with her.

They’re both de-dragging, making jokes in front of an audience like the history that they have with each other doesn’t run deeper than a friendship built off of competition. It’s acting, and they’re terrible at it.

She can’t help it that their dynamic is a mix of flirting and caring, the way it always has been. They joke about their comments on each other being trade, ask if they’re doing good, ignore the elephant in the room.

Her heart beats a little too fast each time she spots a comment saying that they look cute together or that they should hook up. She wants to shout, yell, scream at the top of her lungs that they’ve already tried.

It’s only then that she realizes the gravity of the situation she’s gotten herself into, the danger of putting a love that she never expected to have on display for people starved for it. She wants it for herself, can’t even have it for herself.

When the live ends, she picks up a pack of cigarettes and steps out onto the balcony. She looks out over the streets of Seattle, watches the people walking below- wondering what they’re thinking about, making up stories in her head for each one that strikes out to her.

With the first drag, she imagines that the man in the suit is coming home from the office to a wife whose beauty he no longer sees. He doesn’t really look at her anymore, aside from when he guilts himself into not starting an affair.

With the fifth drag, she imagines the girl, no more than 18, go to clubs that she should and shouldn’t be at. She takes shots, lets the fire burn down her throat, and dances with a guy that whispers empty promises.

With the tenth drag, she imagines the child, surprisingly still awake past midnight, arrive at his mother’s house. He asks why his dad can’t be there, asks questions with answers that get stuck along the way, and he’s rocked to sleep as tears fall onto the pillowcase.

Her phone pings. She looks at the message and returns to pretending that her story doesn’t exist. When she blows out the smoke, she asks it to take the parts of her soul she doesn’t want any more with it.

J: i’ll call u 2morrow

The first time he sees the story, a word flashes in his mind like bright red neon lights in the dark of night.

Shit.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. He isn’t supposed to feel so invested, so concerned and so utterly relieved that she’s posted a song, their song on her story. He wants to take a red-eye just to ask what it all means.

Instead, he settles for Facetiming her in the back of the club he’s at. He’s received about ten different texts from Courtney about how she ever so casually and drunkenly mentioned him at her show, but he tries not to think too hard about it.

Which, knowing him, takes up way too much energy that he doesn’t have.

When she picks up, he can’t stop himself from thinking that she looks gorgeous. She is dark colours and skull dresses and everything he forces himself to believe he doesn’t want.

“Hey, you okay?”

She shrugs her shoulders at him, eyes throwing the question right back. Everything around him starts to fade away. Under the bright lights of the club, all he can see is the dejection on her face.

“You want to talk?” He almost has to yell over the music, tries his best to be coherent.

“Look,” She starts, and he knows that this isn’t going to go the way he wants. “I just had a few drinks. You know how I get all set—semti—all up in my feelings and shit.:

He opens his mouth to speak, but she shakes her head. This is not a subject to open up in a club, separated by cities and feelings that they haven’t come to understand quite yet. She tries her best to smile at him, and his heart clenches.

“You promise you’re doing okay?”

“Mary, I’m fine!” Her voice is joking again, no trace of the pain or hurt that he knows that they both still feel. “You don’t gotta worry about me.”

Someone goes in and out of Vanjie’s dressing room, and he’s suddenly conscious that he’s in public. He lowers his phone, tries his best to hide her from everyone else. Not that she’s his, anyway.

“Well, drink some water.” He says, and she laughs at him. “And uhm, can you send me that picture?”

She looks at him questioningly, and he feels like she’s right there, staring him down. Her eyes see straight through him, and he’s so terrified that he wants to hide behind the crowds forming all around him.

“Alright.”

Spending holidays with one of your best friends in the world is supposed to be normal. They’re times to be grateful, to express love. They’re supposed to be days straight out of Hallmark cards that he stuffs in a drawer because who the hell still buys cards?

He doesn’t consider that his best friend is an ex he’s still in love with.

They have brunch with Gia, go to a club with an old friend of theirs, and return to Jose’s apartment at half past eleven. He crashes onto the couch without a thought and doesn’t even think about how much it feels like a home away from home.

“So, you’ve never watched The Office?”

Jose shrugs, and hands him a bowl of chips. “Everyone’s been telling me it’s a show for white people.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s not funny.”

He spends the rest of the night with Jose, trains his eyes to shift subtly between the TV and his face. He laughs whenever he does, and he tries to hide his lack of focus by crunching the lime-flavoured chips.

“I got something on my face?”

“Hmm?”

“You keep looking here, bitch.”

He’s supposed to feel even the slightest bit embarrassed that he’s gotten caught, but he can’t bring himself to care. He laughs lightly, and sits up - becomes aware of how he’s close enough that he can feel the heat radiating off of the other man.

“Just making sure you’re here.”

“Nowhere else I wanna be, baby.”

He knows the last word is an accident, a relic from a long time ago, but it isn’t taken back. He turns his head, looks at him with no shame. Jose bites his lip as he stares at the screen, but he can tell that he isn’t really watching anymore.

“Brock?”

“Yeah?”

“You gonna keep me waiting forever or what?”

There’s a laugh, and he’s suddenly lost in Jose’s lips. They taste like lime and tequila, but there’s something else there, something unique and familiar that reminds him of what happiness should feel like.

Before long, they’ve pushed their way into the bedroom, and he’s on his knees. It isn’t the best idea. Shit, he knows it’s a terrible idea to fuck their unspoken problems away, but it feels good; good enough that they don’t stop.

When he falls onto the bed, eyes closed and breathing heavy, he tries to kill any thought of consequences. He chases them as they run around his brain, and throws them out. They bang on the door, try to remind him that they’re there, but he begins to drift.

Jose’s arm drapes over his waist, and he is home.

He wakes up the next morning and untangles himself as quickly as he can so they don’t have to talk about the things he doesn’t know how to say.

The night before the finale is all hushed whispers, an attempt at cutting away the nerves that have turned into vines that wrap around his neck. Jose holds him, goes no further, and tells him that he’s going to be amazing.

They film the reunion a few days letter, and she sees the pain in her eyes when they act like she didn’t need her arms around her when she’d accepted that she’d lost. It’s all a game of pretend, and neither of them are winning.

When she finally says that they’re no longer together, she tries to soften the blow by saying that she loves her; but in the fantasy that they’ve built for themselves, she doesn’t know if Vanjie will recognize that that one thing is true.

She starts to wipe tears away from the corners of her eyes, and she comes over for a hug. She’s addicted to the smell of her cologne and the feel of her skin against hers, and she does everything to hide it from Ru and the rest of the world.

They’re all ushered back into the dressing room when it’s all over, and all the tension from the stage disappears. All the girls return to kiking with each other like they’d done for months after filming as they start to de-drag.

So, why does she feel like guilt blocks her airways each time she looks at Vanjie?

She grabs her wrist, and pulls her aside; but when she looks down at her in the corner of the room packed with queens, she loses all her words. All she can see is disease ridden eyes and the ghost of a smile that she wants back.

“I love you.”

Vanjie winces, and she wants to burst into tears. It’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s no fucking fair. Freedom should taste sweet like candy on Halloween, but all it tastes like in her presence is blood she draws from her lip in worry.

“I love you too.”

The words are strained, but she knows she means it.

They hug, and all the queens whoop and aww. She wants them all to shut up because this moment is theirs. It’s pain and pleasure and it’s theirs.

A fire starts in Jose’s apartment. It burns bright and scorches his skin, but he can’t take his eyes off of it. It’s all chaos and splendour, and he almost forgets that it has the ability to kill him where he stands.

“What the fuck do you want?”

The question is asked for the nth time. He stopped counting after the fourth time, when he realizes that he doesn’t really know the answer. It’s too abstract, too complex for him to try and explain.

“I don’t know.”

“Then what are we doing?”

He gulps, all the words falling into the pit of his stomach. It’s almost ridiculous that he’s scared of someone so much smaller than him, but they’re holding each other’s hearts hostage. The consequences could destroy them.

“We’re just friends.”

Jose huffs, and he throws up his arms in defeat. He wants to hold those hands that fit perfectly in his, but he’s too busy using them to burn it all down. The worst part of it all is that he knows he can’t blame him.

“Friends don’t fuck, say ‘I love you,’ then pretend it didn’t happen.”

The words are spit at him like venom, but he doesn’t mind. He knows that he deserves it after the hell that he’s put him through. Maybe they’re both willing participants, but his reasons are so selfish that he expects the pain.

He asks himself if anything is supposed to hurt like this. Maybe this is what breakups are supposed to feel like. Maybe they’re supposed to feel like someone throwing his heart into a blazing flame.

“I can’t fucking do it.”

The way he says it makes him cry, and he wipes the tears away. He sees something in Jose’s eyes, something akin to pity, and he wants to scream that this is everything he was afraid of from the day he’d fallen in love.

Jose walks to the door, opens it for him. He doesn’t move, at least not for a minute. He doesn’t want to. This is a refuge, a retreat, a goddamn home, and if he leaves, he knows he might never come back.

He thinks about begging for a moment. He thinks about falling to his knees and pleading for the forgiveness that he doesn’t deserve. He thinks about asking for an infinite chance because God knows how many times he’s hurt him before.

“I need you to go.”

It’s stern, and he knows that he has no choice. He carries his feet, and each step feels like breaking promises that he wants to make. Freedom is so close that he can taste it, but it still tastes like metal.

“I’m sorry.”

The door shuts behind him when he says the words, and it’s all over.

When he sees his tweets the next day, he crawls into bed and wishes for arms to hold him tight.

She almost backs out of their show together, but Nina holds her hand. She convinces her that Vanjie deserves better than a disappearing act that rivals their magic show. Brooke nods her head and does her best to smile.

“I’ll be right here if you need me, okay?”

Nina’s all warmth and love, and she thinks that she might be the luckiest person in the world. She squeezes her hand before she leaves her in the crowd to go to the backroom of the club.

When she opens the door, she’s greeted by the smell of her cologne. It assaults her senses, and she’s suddenly dizzy. The world starts to spin, and the tiny queen who doesn’t even bother to look at her as she finishes her makeup is in the center it.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

She still doesn’t look up, and Brooke thinks she might just throw up. The quiet makes her uneasy, so she shuffles her feet as Vanjie applies her lipstick. She hopes that she doesn’t hear her heart thumping against her chest.

“If you’re gonna say something, you better say it.”

One deep breath. The words make their way from her heart to her head. They shoot upwards, and it takes her a moment to comprehend them. They’re too vulnerable, but that’s what Vanjie’s demanding from her.

Two deep breaths. The words make their way from her head to her mouth. She says them in a rush, like a waterfall that she’s always wanted to visit with her, but knows that they’ll probably never see.

“I’m sorry. I love you, and I fucked it all up. I told you I wanted to be free, but I can’t be free when I spend my every waking moment wishing I could take it all back.”

Three deep breaths. The words make their way from her mouth to Vanjie’s ears. She sets down the lipstick on the table and purses her lips together. The minute of uneasy silence feels like forever to Brooke, but she doesn’t dare keep speaking.

“I can’t do it, y’know?” She turns her head, and Brooke sees that the disease is killing her slowly. “I’m not ready for a relationship with you right now, if that’s what you want.”

“It’s not.” It is. “Maybe one day. Right now, I just want us to be… us again.”

She walks over slowly, delicately breaches Vanjie’s bubble. Her heart races even faster, and she prays to every single god that Silky doesn’t burst into the room to ruin the moment that they’re having.

“Hi,” She holds out her hand and her hopes. “I’m Brooke Lynn Hytes.”

Vanjie regards her for a moment, assesses her as if they’d never met before. With a sigh, she shakes her hand.

“I’m Vanessa Isabella Vanjie Mateo.”

DragCon passes by in a flash. She hugs all her fans, takes pictures with other queens, and smiles proudly when she sees the queue for Vanjie’s booth grow infinitely longer.

They barely talk for the whole weekend, far too busy and tired to make any meaningful conversation. All they manage is a few photos for the fans, and texts reminding each other to drink water.

The season 11 tour starts, and they find themselves playing along with Asia’s light-hearted jokes. If it stings a little to have a love that she still feels be the butt of a joke, she tries her best to ignore it.

The morning of the second show, he catches wind from A’keria that Vanjie can barely get out of bed. Without thinking, he buys about eight different medicines and a Gatorade before rushing to his hotel room.

When he knocks on the door, he hears a groan come from the other end. “It’s me!” He calls out, and enters the room. The curtains are drawn, making the room dark enough that he can barely make out the person wrapped up in the blanket on the bed.

“What you doing here?” Jose’s voice is barely a croak, but he finds enough energy to sound pissed. “You’re gonna get sick, you idiot!”

“I’ll be fine.” He brushes off his concern and takes a seat on the bed. He places a hand on Jose’s forehead and grimaces at how hot it is. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit, what do you think?”

He laughs lightly  and pulls out some medicine. It takes a small argument for him to convince him to drink it, and he smiles when he notices him hold the Gatorade bottle with both hands like a child.

“This is what happens when you work too hard.”

“You do it too.”

Jose sticks his tongue out at him, and he wonders if the childlike behaviour is because of the fever. There’s a voice in his head telling him that this might not be the best idea after agreeing to just casually get to know each other, but he cares too much to listen.

“Now go to sleep.”

“No way, hoe. I gotta get ready.”

It requires little force for him to get Jose to lie back down. “Oh no, you are not going to do the show like this.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” He replies, but he’s already started to hike the covers all the way back up to his neck. Brock chuckles, and he thinks that maybe the warmth he feels is more than just from the fevered body next to him.

“Shut up.” He says lovingly. “I’ll stay until you fall asleep.”

Brock strokes his hair, and when he stays a minute or an hour longer than he’s supposed to, he doesn’t mind.

He gets sick a few days later, and he gets a call from miles away.

“Bitch, I told you so.”

June is a hazy mix of cities and bars. They return to their routine of texting every day, checking up on each other whenever they can. He hesitates to start each conversation, wonders if he’s pushing it too far. The smile he gets with each Facetime is worth the worry.

In July, he sees him again for the tour.

He stares at the floor as Jose gets ready, doesn’t look up to watch him cover up the flaws that he thinks make him so beautiful.

“You’re thinking too loud.”

Brock laughs under his breath and sees him walk over to the couch. He sits down beside him, and he can’t stop the love in his eyes from shining through, even if he knows he needs to be more subtle.

“Yeah? What was I thinking about then?”

“I ain’t no mind reader, Mary.”

He picks up Jose’s hand and locks their fingers together. It’s almost imperceptible, but he sees the smile on his face. It reminds him of roses and rain and the colour orange. This is freedom, he thinks to himself.

“Baby,” His voice is soft, a whisper lost in the wind. “I’m not ready yet, okay?”

When Jose doesn’t let go, he squeezes his hand. A promise, perhaps? He isn’t sure, but it’s something. Hope is better than having a gaping hole in his chest.

“It’s okay, I can wait.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[geocities]

For the last week some kind of virus has been ravaging my body. My fever finally broke for good last night - hopefully? I was sick for five days, bedridden sick, sleeping for 16 hours a day sick. 101 + fever all of the time, couldn’t get it to break for shit. I had insane fever dreams and part of me wondered if I would just die, like those flu horror stories or maybe it was actually an IUD infection or something that was eating my organs alive. I had weird flashbacks of specific childhood feelings, but this time they were exceedingly warm and fuzzy, which is not normally the lens through which I view my childhood when my brain isn’t on fire. At the same time, a plumbing mishap has effectively destroyed my house for the majority of the last week. The first plumbers destroyed our stuff – got drywall and sewage all over our kitchen, including in the cabinets and fridge, used our bath towels to clean up the mess, left my toothbrush out to get coated in the shit. They threw out the bidet! My butt will never be clean again. We had to throw out a lot of our stuff and not use the kitchen and bathroom for a long time and the landlords are trying to let us take $100 off rent but honestly not being able to have a orderly house or know where my toiletries are or not have my dishes covered in wall particles is worth way more than that, not to mention the actual monetary value of what we had to throw away. Today is the first day I’ve had the energy to care or think about it, and now that I’m thinkin’ about it I’m totally stewin’ about it.

I had my observation last week and I killed it; I did better than I’ve ever done on an observation in my life. It was also the first observation where my nerves weren’t getting the better of me, and a brain specialist had some to speak to us the week before about how we talk and use our facial muscles and how kids can only learn when they feel safe, and I really think it helped. Who would have thought that we literally can’t learn when we are stressed? Hahaha almost everyone probably minus anyone in charge of CPS at any given time. And then on Wednesday I rode back from a field trip with three other white female teachers, coming down with the flu by this point, and they thought it was a safe space to debate the merits of Black Lives Matter and had a lot of Hot Steamy Dump Takes like “I’m being punished for slavery but I didn’t do anything” and “why cant we all just get along” and “it should be All Lives Matter” and “people shouldn’t run from the cops if they don’t want to get shot” and an unfortunate introduction to a racial slur I’d never heard before in my life, and “it’s equal now, and actually some of my friends kids cant get into schools because they’re not African American” and “if I were racist would I teach in Englewood?” and my feverish ass screaming “A BLUE LIFE IS NOT A THING” and getting yelled at and trying to explain housing segregation and police violence to a bunch of cop apologists from Mt. Greenwood; literally one of the worst experiences of my life.

So anyway we started watching the Sopranos

The first season of the Sopranos deals a lot with the nature of familial duty (lol duh Lauren it’s a show about the mob!) but I mean it more like the way Tony navigates his feelings about his mother – Melfi’s rational instinct to call the relationship what it is – troubled, shitty, abusive maybe – is so heavily rejected by Tony – “hate my OWN mother???” Mob mentality is a good template for this; not “mob mentality” in the common parlance, but literally the mentality of people in the mob and the purported values, traditions, and structures that dictate their lives. The charm of this show for me is this; take away the severity of the actual violence and murder and extortion and the value system is entirely relatable. I can’t find my place in this new world where conflict is abuse and everyone is Toxic and everything is about asserting your individual right to peace out of situations and relationships that don’t fully serve you. That’s some real Midwestern shit or West Coast shit, I don’t even know. Manufacturing ways to feel assertive and in control – self-care industry, new fixations on astrology, conspicuous consumption of houseplants, selfies and talking about mental health in a vapid way on social media. Maybe it’s cathartic for them but to me it reads as more of the same vanity. I can’t relate to it. A lot of people seem to, as any hours-long meandering down an Instagram hole will demonstrate. That’s the reason I love my friends, it’s because we don’t play that shit. We validate each other and it’s enough and thank god for that. I don’t have a peaceful energy and I never will and I can’t chop off the aggravating parts because I need them too. I need a manual, I need on-the-ground tactical advice for dealing with my family. I’ve learned it myself by surrounding myself with people who don’t speak to me that way, and so I don’t speak that way back anymore. I regress when I’m around them, but I also want to be near them all of the time. I don’t want to know how to cut them out or name their crimes, I want to move forward. I fantasize about moving to New Jersey to be closer to everyone and to be closer to good deli meats and better Italian food. I want to eat pasta out of a Parmesan wheel. I want the gabagool! I want my parents to babysit my kids and scream at me every day for the rest of my life. I want more complicated advice for less complicated problems, because at the end of the day my life is good and I can’t complain. I will continue to complain about not having eaten out of a Parmesan wheel yet. But Kevin Smith (New Jersey man of moderate fame) wrote that thing about dying and how it was fine, because life was a gift, which I think is what my fever dreams were trying to tell me. 

[doctormelapples]

all the a s k s

Here you go homie:

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?More milk, get them slightly soggy cinnamon toast crunch 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?One of my favorite feelings tbh 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?Receipts,,,,,, I doggy ear them from the bottom 4: how do you take your coffee/tea?Tea, STRONG, Maybe with a lil honey 5: are you self-conscious of your smile?I cover my face with my hand when I laugh, if that is the connection 6: do you keep plants?A goal of mine is to keep plants 7: do you name your plants?I totally would, I named everything 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?Photography??, Writing? 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?I do all the time. Apparently I hum when I work, but I don’t often notice 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?Um side? Idk I just asked the only person who has seen me sleeping in the last three months, she said I can’t make up my mind 11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?SharkBecks,, #rip, Crab walk,, In this Denny’s tonight,,,, whipping in response to an attack on your person 12: what’s your favorite planet?Uranus 13: what’s something that made you smile today?I went to coffee with my ride or die and that was fun 14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?The walls would be brick for sure, wood floors, shit ton of rugs, plants everywhere, we stole the plants from cafes, small windows, maybe circular, you know that nasty looking gross pale blue fridge, looking nasty and old, that one, and we found a bright red couch on the side of the road, it’s perfect, string lights, and the occasional lamp, old fashioned lightbulbs, warm light, yellow and orange lights, a mix of framed and not framed posters, bean bag chairs for parties, Cupboard space, only used for mugs, paintings and art, and photographs, polaroids, all over the fridge, cupboards with pins and magnets, probably some salt crystals, salt lamps, some rose quartz stuff, candles everywhere. It’s a study apartment, so all we have are two really big beds in the middle of the beds, THROW PILLOWS EVERYWHERE, too many pillows,, polaroids hanging from string lights on the ceiling, BOOKS EVERYWHERE, stacks everywhere, corners= books, top of the fridge=books, vanity made of several different old mirrors, hanging cubbies for our shoes, we share all the time anyway, no floor space, fashion racks for all of our clothes, we mix, cuz we always share clothes anyway 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!Did you know Venus is the hottest planet, not mercury, even tho it’s closest to the sun? Also NASA is fake and nothing is real? 16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?Lasagna 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?PINK BLONDE WITH DARK ROOTS, AND PINK 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.Something I did? Welcccs, I said welcccs In the gc once,,, never lived down, Pronunciation: Whelc-k-kz I also said pipin’ ass tea, so 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?Lot’s 20: what’s your favorite eye color?Green 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.I have a bag, that I got recently, it’s black leather looking, and I have a white puffball on it, and I love her, Victoire, is her name. 22: are you a morning person?YEET NOPE 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?Sit and contemplate the fact that literally nothing is real and nothing matters. Or go to the park with my friends 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?No, tbh 25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?I broke into a closet once 26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?My grey hightop converse 27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?Sour Apple 28: sunrise or sunset?Sunrise 29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?Anytime @thumper-darling sits in a comfy chair she immediately snuggles up with the arm of the chair for a hot mo 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?Yes, shall I tell the story?? Send me an ask and I’ll tell it 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.I love socks, I like weird socks. Sleeping with socks on is of the devil. No fuck off, I have this pair that is a strawberry, one sock is the right side, and one is the other half, and I love them, I also have lime ones like that, and I have lots of different, polka dotted ones that I can wear as mix and matched 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.I went on an adventure to a city a lil out of the way, and it was like exactly 2:54, I have it on a video, and it was lit, we walked around the city, at 3 in the morning, and got passed by 4 different police cars, we made up a plan to tell them who we were, but neither of us really think straight ever, so it was a damn mess. 33: what’s your fave pastry?I love a good strudel 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?I got my fav stuffy on my seventh birthday, sophie, a white dog that glowed if you pressed her hand, My mom snuck up to my attic room that I shred with my sister, and handed it to me, It felt like it was exactly midnight, but it was probably only like 10, and she glowed and I love her. She sits in my closet and watches over me now. She stopped glowing a few years after I got her. Her lights died, after so many battery replacements 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?I love them, so much, but I don’t have many. I would use them all the time, if I had more. 36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?I got my rose scented candle going, I got my main lights off, and I’m listening to my drunk friend breathe over the phone while she reads probably It by Stephen King, let’s go with,,, alt-J, does he count? Or Wild Party? The 1975?? IDK 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?I think better in messy, but I do like clean 38: tell us about your pet peeves!Do I have pet peeves? People telling other people that I’m “in a mood”, touching my stuff without asking, someone making offhand comments about something without explaining themselves, DONT TOUCH MY HAIR 39: what color do you wear the most?Pink? Black? Pales, neutrals essentially. 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?I don’t actually really wear jewelry 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!Coffee Chaos, it’s a blessing. I actually have two, to be realistic. Espresso Milano has the aesthetic, the vibe, but Coffee Chaos’ coffee is just better, so 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?I watched stars with some of my photography classmates, the other day, we were shooting on location, and it was Night™ 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?I don’t know her!!!!! WAIT JK I had a dream about Taehyung the other day, idk man it was pretty damn serene, can you believe that tae is the most beautiful man in the world 45: do you trust your instincts a lot?Always, if my vibes don’t jive w u hecks off 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.The only puns that currently reside in my soul rn are in Korean… wolwol…. How bout: I’m going to bed,,, Mind if I Slytherin 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?FUCKING COTTAGE CHEESE 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?My mom being mad at me,, debatably. 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?I love Record Storesssss,,, a happy place, tbh 50: what’s an odd thing you collect?I used to collect bottle cap tops, like izze tops, Snapple tops, etc. I’m tryna collects pins/buttons now tho 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?I associate tipsy by J-Kwon with @thumper-darling 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?I dig some snazzy The Floor is me me z, nothing but respect for my president, right in front of my salad, the ditty.its, he protecc he attacc, etc there were some good memez this year 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?I’ve only seen heathers out of all of these and it was the play, it was pretty hecking good. 54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?My aunt at my cousins funeral. 55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?Honestly whom knows, once I painted my hand bright green, but for no reason so there’s your answer 56: what are some things you find endearing in people?I like it when people smile while reading, 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?Lit,, get lit, if you don’t dramatically reenact the lyrics did you even listen to bohemian Rhapsody? 58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?@thumper-darling is the wine mom, and the vodka aunt. She’s an alcoholic. Rip 59: what’s your favorite myth?One of my faves 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?I do, but I don’t often retain names,,,, rip, one of the first ones I memorized was the jabberwocky by lewis Carroll 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?I gave a mcdonalds happy meal toy away once as a gift, and once I got a whole ass gum wrapper legitimately 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?Love me some juice. I favor Apple Juice, but no o n e else in the house drinks apple juice so all we ever have is orange juice. 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?Stacks, my music, yes, but theses books really be out here, overflowing from my shelves, so we got stacks, and any organization they had is now gone. 64: what color is the sky where you are right now?The sky is dark rn, cuz it’s night, but during the day this week it’s white and grey cuz it’s Rainy Week™ in Michigan rn. 65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?I can list a good few people. My old classmates, from my old school. That would be nice 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?My most ideal flower crown would have flown pink stained roses, vines with thorns, small white and pink flowers, be really extra in the center like a crown. 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?Serene, content 68: what’s winter like where you live?Slushy, sometimes we get lots of snow, sometimes its lacking, 69: what are your favorite board games?I love clue, I got a doctor who version for xmas last year, best gift in years ngl. I also love risk; world domination, and a new fav: Truth Bombs™ Created by Daniel Howell and Phillip Lester available anywhere they sell games, for example: B&N where you can pick up The Amazing Book is Not On Fire at the same time, and while you’re at it, check out Dan and Phil Go Outside. 70: have you ever used a ouija board?FUCK OUTTA HERE FUCK OYOU MEAN FUCJBOI NO 71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?I dig some good ol’ Bengal spice, I dig strong spicy tea 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?I mean, yes, but do I write shit down? The answer is no 73: what are some of your worst habits?Picking at my nails, making internal commentary on Everything around me @ a l l t I m m e s 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.They really out here, at all times. They tend to be the loudest of the group, and they honestly bring the party. Story telling skills level master, You can’t beat them, They’re just so good at telling an entertaining story, even if it isn’t entertaining. Sometimes doesn’t have good days, and that’s okay. 75: tell us about your pets!I have two dogs, Maddie, and Arenal,, Maddie is a boxer lab mix, and she’s allergic to like literally everything 100% ,,, except cats. Arenal is a white blonde golden retriever and he’s the laziest mf I’ve ever met 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?A literal Photography assignment, idk why I procrastinate on these, I love doing them. 77: pink or yellow lemonade?Pink! 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?HATECLUB FUK U 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?My promposal last year was pretty dang cute, rip that tho. 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?I didn’t get to chose, they’re kinda a milky white, I don’t mind it to much, its not bad 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.doe eyes, at their finest, and that’s what I got 82: are/were you good in school?Not really, like I’m pretty average tbh 83: what’s some of your favorite album art?I really loved Young The Giants “Home of the Strange” CRUISR’s album art is all pretty aesthetic, Anti was good, I liked “Bleak” by Froth, “Cult of Personality” by Varsity, and like tons others 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?Yeah! I want to get a lineart tattoo of a swing set, with wildflowers growing specifically yellow and red flowers with light blue ink for the swings, I want to get something to do with Scorpio, and I also want an vertical ellipses in my inner elbow 85: do you read comics? what are your faves?Not really, But I have read Archie comics my whole life, Betty n Veronica, I looked at the new Riverdale ones, it’s pretty okay. You can’t really beat the go comics tho. and I own some snazzy local artists comics, those are my faves 86: do you like concept albums? which ones?I guess so,, I don’t really go out of my way to recognize it tho. I like Hospice by The Antlers, Of course Lemonade, does channel orange count? Idk, I had to look up a list of concept albums to say which ones I liked. 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?Breakfast Club, Men in Black, Star Wars, Harry Potter, (all) the og Wizard of Oz, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Hocus Pocus, ET, LOTR, um and more for sure, but idk right off the top of my head 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?I suppose there, are but I couldn’t tell you the name 89: are you close to your parents?I’d say I’m like relatively close to my mother, but not so much my dad 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.Just one? It’s either Chicago or Stratford, let’s go w Stratford, Ontario, okay. There is a lot stuff going on in the summer over in stratford, they have the Stratford Shakespeare festival and the theatres in the area are beautiful as shit. I haven’t been there while it’s not going on, but I gather it’s a very touristy sorta town. They have ups and downs in streets, it’s not big enough to get lost, but you can still lose yourself in the different shops and cafes. 91: where do you plan on traveling this year?The year is almost over, but it would be nice to visit my family who live hours + hours away. I want to go down to the capital and go to my favorite shops in the city I used to live. 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?I’m lactose intolerant 93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?Probably a half up pony tail 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?My friend Jalee, her birthday was the 21st and she is exactly 3 weeks and 3 days older than me. 95: what are your plans for this weekend?I have a halloween party I might go to, or else I’ll be at my dad’s house this weekend. 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?I procrastinate a lot,,, I have pressed the damn remind me later button so often,,, 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?Oh shit I can’t remember my Myer briggs, maybe I should take the test again,,,, okay hold on…. Okay: ENTP-T Scorpio, Slytherin, 98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?Maybe this summer? I love hiking, It’s one of my favorite things to do 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.Suburbia by Troye Sivan, Growing Old on Bleeker Street by AJR, Trapdoor by twenty one pilots, Body Gold by Oh Wonder, Sea by BTS, Art Exhibit by Young the Giant, Titus was Born by Young the Giant, actually that whole album Home of the Strange by Young the Giant. 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?5 Years into the future, I never wanna go back. Unless I could change events, in which case I’d go back.

[evolutionsvoid]

Floral Dryads are a species (or sub species depending on who you ask) of Dryad that are well known for their bright colors and decorative head flowers. This type of Dryad is found most often in temperate or tropical climates. As stated before, Floral Dryads are easily identified by their array of colors, which is not often seen in other types. Bright hues from across the color spectrum can be found in different Floral Dryads, as they are affected by climate, diet, parents and lifestyle. Combine all these colors with the different sizes and shapes of head flowers, and one can see that no two Floral Dryads are alike. Floral Dryads are extremely proud of their flowers and colors, with some family groups even becoming obsessed about them. Large portions of their every day lives are set aside for caring for and upkeeping their floral parts. To many Floral Dryads, appearance is everything. If they are not going out into public looking their best, then they should just stay inside. With this, Floral Dryads are very picky and sensitive to many things. One might joke that they have a thin skin, but that is actually somewhat true. Floral Dryads lack the thick bark skin other Dryads have, so getting injured is quite easy for them. Combine that with their desire to look perfect, and you get dryads that live very clean and safe lives. In a village composed of mainly Floral Dryads, one will find that they keep things extremely clean and proper. Lobbing a mud ball into their streets is the equivalent of starting a fire, as they will scramble to get away from the filth. That being said, Pumpkin Dryads are notorious for picking on Floral Dryads, as they can literally do anything to gross them out or scare them. Unfortunately Floral Dryads do not find this funny, and some may take harsh actions to keep their streets clean and safe. One time a Pumpkin Dryad covered herself in mud and ran down the streets of a Floral Dryad market. I do admit it was pretty funny to watch, but afterwards it took me hours of smooth talking and bribery to keep her from being publicly executed.   

As one can imagine, Floral Dryads are often quite vain, focusing solely on themselves. They will do anything to look pretty and catch attention. A Floral Dryad can spend hours grooming and preening just to walk outside one second, see a Dryad prettier than her and then rush back inside in a huff. The things they come up with to make their colors bright and their flowers perky can even beat my own imagination. One Floral Dryad I met swore to the trees themselves that shots of cow bile in the morning helps make your yellows super bright. Another said it was crushed up beetles that you scrubbed onto your petals that made nice deep reds. A word of advice to any non-Floral Dryad, never ask for beauty tips. You will either get some bizarre suggestions, or you will take root by the time they finish gabbing your ear off. Due to their obsession with beauty, Floral Dryads often look down on other Dryad types. They do not treat them awfully (unless you are a Pumpkin Dryad or a Marsh Dryad, then steer clear), but they just always have some comment to make about your appearance. Either that your head flower/cap is a little lumpy, or that your colors are little drabber then usual or that your bark is getting cracks. I mean seriously, my bark is getting cracks?! I'm not that old! The craziest this vanity ever gets is when it comes to breeding. This is not a common thing, but it does run in certain villages and family groups. Since colors and flowers can run from parent to child, some families have turned to selective breeding in order to make sure their saplings come out with even prettier colors and arrangements. They will search for colors and shapes that will complement their own, looking for a partner that would produce the best looking offspring. Since Floral Dryads come in such a variety, most of them can find another partner whose hues and patterns would work great with theirs. The more strict certain families get, though, the more intense the selection. There are certain Floral Dryad families (not naming names) who are quite well known, wealthy and are considered the tops in terms of beauty and appearances. Some of the more vain Floral Dryads dream of being a part of those families, as that would mean they fit their beauty standards and are married in. To be inducted is to be brought into a higher life of beauty and wealth. Unfortunately, their selection process can be quite selfish or even cruel. Some families will hold pageants or shows for the commoners to participate in. If you meet their extremely high standards, they will welcome you into the family. If you have one small thing wrong though, be prepared to be humiliated and degraded. Honestly, they say some pretty mean things, and are quite blunt with their words. I have seen some contestants even being thrown out of the show because of the smallest slight. Like I said, it's mean. Those stories, though, aren't even considered the worst. Some families have become so vain and obsessed with their looks that they have turned to inbreeding and kidnapping to ensure they have the best breeding stock. If there is a particular Dryad of a certain pedigree that they want, they will not take no for an answer. Tales of popular Floral Dryads being taken from their homes have been told, with the poor victims whisked away to be imprisoned and brainwashed into serving as breeding stock for the family. These acts are quite barbaric and turn the stomachs of many non-Floral Dryads (and a good chunk of Florals too). Unfortunately, money and name can get you many things, and trying to put a stop to these practices are quite hard.     Despite their efforts to constantly be beautiful, Floral Dryads will lose their colors during certain seasons of the year. During cold times, their bright colors will fade and their floral parts will shrivel. Only when spring and summer returns will they pop back to life. During that time, though, Floral Dryads hide indoors for the whole season, not daring to step out in case someone sees them in this "ugly" form. I personally think this is all ridiculous! Everyone is beautiful in their own way! It doesn't matter what others think, you are beautiful! But if someone says you have bark cracks they are a LIAR!   Chlora Myron Dryad Natural Historian

[lindyhunt]

Meet The TTC Bus Driver Who Loves Nail Art

TTC bus driver-turned-rising Instagram sensation Michael Maguire is at a Tibetan momo shop close to the Toronto Queensway Bus Division “saaavouring” dinner before an evening shift when I call him to set up our interview. The -16 degree weather seems to have not frozen his spark, and he announces he’s just booked us matching manicure appointments for the following weekend. “Do you like burritos?” he asks me. “There’s a burrito place right down the street. We can make it a girls’ day.”

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Sitting on my throne and thinking that subtle and nuanced is the way to connect with the public.

A post shared by Michael Maguire (@ttcnails) on Feb 3, 2019 at 11:53pm PST

Last week, OCAD University student Brigit O’Neil tweeted about the gladdening encounter she’d had boarding a bus driven by Maguire. “He told me he really liked my nails. He saw I was slightly confused by the compliment so offered his hand,” she wrote. “And let me tell you I did not expect to see a set of glamorous long pointed blue and silver nails encrusted with rhinestones.” Hundreds of retweets later, Maguire’s phone is still buzzing with excited friends and colleagues writing to say they saw his nails on the internet. (Maguire can’t check his phone while he’s physically in the driver’s seat, so he tends to each mountain of messages during breaks or after work.)

I arrive at Vanity Nail Bar, a busy salon with thrones for chairs and a bright pink storefront sign in Toronto’s Bloor West Village. If I hadn’t already scrolled through Maguire’s Instagram account, @ttcnails, and known who I was looking for, I’d probably not have assumed the 56-year-old man dressed in routine dad-type denim, a black winter toque and a TTC logo-emblazoned sweater was my subject for the day. And I may not have expected to see Maguire grandly enter the salon to a chorus of friendly greetings from the owner and technicians, then convivially plunk down in a princess chair and remove a small packet of independently procured nail accessories from his pocket. But days prior, I and Maguire’s 2000 other new Instagram followers, learned that in fact this Etobicoke-raised father of twin sons, who loves baseball, beer and U2, boasts a nail game Cardi B herself would admire.

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Hateth not the player… Hateth the game. VANITY NAILS

A post shared by Michael Maguire (@ttcnails) on Jan 13, 2019 at 4:35pm PST

As Maguire and I settle in for our side-by-side nail appointments, I ask the manicurist for a fairly simple matte black. Maguire’s vision is much more ambitious. He reveals a gallery of inspiration from within his phone, and meticulously discusses creative direction with Jean, the nail technician to whom he’ll relinquish artistic control as soon as they sort out the essentials, most importantly: pink glitter on his under-nail. Jean grabs a small pair of plyers and begins clipping off the rhinestones that launched Maguire to fame. For three hours, she files, sands, coats and cures Maguire’s nails, lavishes them in builder gel — a phrase not lost on me given the careful, elaborate construction of it all, plus the fact that Maguire is in the midst of a major home renovation project with his brother — then uses a wand and a pot of iridescent dust to transform them into chrome. Maguire’s eyes fill with tears. (I almost cry myself when Maguire tenderly details the pleasure of seeing his nails dazzle in the reflection of the bus window as he drives.) An additional nail technician assists in the work of reshaping his nails from almond to ballerina, as Maguire occasionally winces due to a shoulder injury that makes the process less than comfortable. Maguire’s chrome dreams now brought to life, Jean expertly applies dozens of rhinestones, selected with the help of several other nail technicians, to his $150 hands.

“When I leave here I feel put together,” says Maguire. “I feel pretty. It’s like glitter exploding inside me.”

In 2013, Maguire suffered a broken leg. Upon the removal of his cast, a nurse suggested he get a pedicure to clean up his neglected feet. He went for what was supposed to a maintenance appointment — Maguire’s first — and left with the nails on his fingers and toes painted a rainbow of primary colours. “Life-changing,” he says. “The pedicure was the gateway.” Maguire’s sons, 15-years-old at the time, were unperturbed. Now 20, their main nail-related concern is that their dad deserves more Instagram followers.

When a photo of Maguire’s nails ended up on Toronto entertainment platform 6ixbuzz, he said he felt like “a teenager being cyber-bullied”. Though Maguire identifies as straight, and once even brought a woman on a date to the nail salon, many of those comments were distressingly homophobic. Beyond that, Maguire says he has not experienced any demonstrably dangerous confrontations. “You know what it is?”, he says. “It’s the look. If someone loves my nails, they’ll tell me. If someone thinks it’s weird, or is being judgmental, I get the look. Maybe I’m projecting. But you just feel it.”

Toward the end of the three-hour appointment, I realize that there have been no sideways glances or grimaces of denunciation at Maguire’s presence in a nail salon populated by women of varying ages. As is typical of most nail salons, clients exchange quick pleasantries or don’t notice each other at all. When we later get burritos — this girls’ day follows a strict itinerary — the millennials working the counter observe the Aurora Borealis on Maguire’s hands but offer no visible reaction. The other customers are too focused on their own plates to care about the contents of a stranger’s sleeves. (At the salon, one nail technician leaves her station to come over and ask if he’s the one who works for the subway. She leaves then promptly returns with a tray of jewels for him to browse.)

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A post shared by Michael Maguire (@ttcnails) on Dec 13, 2018 at 10:04am PST

Most men are indifferent, says Maguire, but his admirers are gender neutral overall. One summer, a contractor boarded a bus he was driving on Martin Grove Road and complimented Maguire’s French manicure. “From a guy you’d never expect it from”, he recalls. “This guy was covered in drywall. He’d just left the work site.” Maguire does admit that “The dating pool shrinks dramatically”, noting that many women assume his penchant for nice nails means that he’s gay. “I think some [women] are a little thrown off by it,” he says. “So I put a picture of my nails on my Plenty of Fish profile. This way it’s not a surprise…But I’ve never quite understood our fascination with other people’s sexuality. Why are we so obsessed with that?” Last night, he says, a woman on the bus told him she admired his bravery. “I’m just being myself,” he says. “I’m not on a crusade. But if it puts a smile on anyone’s face, my job is done. At the same time, I don’t do this to be shy and reserved.”

“I’m a positive person by nature. Nothing but love, compassion and glitter,” says Maguire. “And right now I feel off the charts. I feel super alive. Heightened. It’s a natural high.”

As my own manicure finishes, Maguire insists that I, too, get some flashy hardware on my accent fingers. Not being the glitzy type, at least not in the sober light of Sunday afternoon, I resist. But Maguire encourages me to abandon the inhibitions preventing me from living a life of pizzazz. I run through a quick mental roll call of who I’ll see this week —an editor I’ve never met before, my class of fourth year undergraduate students, my professorial university colleagues, my therapist, who always notices my nails because I once bemoaned the money I spend on appearance only for every heterosexual man I’ve ever dated to be oblivious to the labour of beautification. But if Maguire can showcase his shimmery talons on the steering wheel of a TTC bus before an audience of thousands daily, I can lean in, too. (Now all I want is more.)

As an unrelated side note between bites, Maguire shares with me a gem of construction wisdom earned by years of landscaping and home renovations work: “You make your mistakes in the corner.” He is referring, of course, to the literal corner, where oddities and imperfections would be kept secluded. As Maguire heads off to a pub to watch the Super Bowl and I travel home to bask in the luminosity of my new rhinestones, I can’t shake the gravity of it. Maguire’s message is to be yourself wherever you go — defiantly, resplendently, unconventionally — not hidden in any corner.

“In the grand scheme of things, it’s so ridiculous”, he chuckles. “But it’s fun. And it makes me happy.”

[jessicakehoe]

Meet The TTC Bus Driver Who Loves Nail Art

TTC bus driver-turned-rising Instagram sensation Michael Maguire is at a Tibetan momo shop close to the Toronto Queensway Bus Division “saaavouring” dinner before an evening shift when I call him to set up our interview. The -16 degree weather seems to have not frozen his spark, and he announces he’s just booked us matching manicure appointments for the following weekend. “Do you like burritos?” he asks me. “There’s a burrito place right down the street. We can make it a girls’ day.”

View this post on Instagram

Sitting on my throne and thinking that subtle and nuanced is the way to connect with the public.

A post shared by Michael Maguire (@ttcnails) on Feb 3, 2019 at 11:53pm PST

Last week, OCAD University student Brigit O’Neil tweeted about the gladdening encounter she’d had boarding a bus driven by Maguire. “He told me he really liked my nails. He saw I was slightly confused by the compliment so offered his hand,” she wrote. “And let me tell you I did not expect to see a set of glamorous long pointed blue and silver nails encrusted with rhinestones.” Hundreds of retweets later, Maguire’s phone is still buzzing with excited friends and colleagues writing to say they saw his nails on the internet. (Maguire can’t check his phone while he’s physically in the driver’s seat, so he tends to each mountain of messages during breaks or after work.)

I arrive at Vanity Nail Bar, a busy salon with thrones for chairs and a bright pink storefront sign in Toronto’s Bloor West Village. If I hadn’t already scrolled through Maguire’s Instagram account, @ttcnails, and known who I was looking for, I’d probably not have assumed the 56-year-old man dressed in routine dad-type denim, a black winter toque and a TTC logo-emblazoned sweater was my subject for the day. And I may not have expected to see Maguire grandly enter the salon to a chorus of friendly greetings from the owner and technicians, then convivially plunk down in a princess chair and remove a small packet of independently procured nail accessories from his pocket. But days prior, I and Maguire’s 2000 other new Instagram followers, learned that in fact this Etobicoke-raised father of twin sons, who loves baseball, beer and U2, boasts a nail game Cardi B herself would admire.

  View this post on Instagram

Hateth not the player… Hateth the game. VANITY NAILS

A post shared by Michael Maguire (@ttcnails) on Jan 13, 2019 at 4:35pm PST

As Maguire and I settle in for our side-by-side nail appointments, I ask the manicurist for a fairly simple matte black. Maguire’s vision is much more ambitious. He reveals a gallery of inspiration from within his phone, and meticulously discusses creative direction with Jean, the nail technician to whom he’ll relinquish artistic control as soon as they sort out the essentials, most importantly: pink glitter on his under-nail. Jean grabs a small pair of plyers and begins clipping off the rhinestones that launched Maguire to fame. For three hours, she files, sands, coats and cures Maguire’s nails, lavishes them in builder gel — a phrase not lost on me given the careful, elaborate construction of it all, plus the fact that Maguire is in the midst of a major home renovation project with his brother — then uses a wand and a pot of iridescent dust to transform them into chrome. Maguire’s eyes fill with tears. (I almost cry myself when Maguire tenderly details the pleasure of seeing his nails dazzle in the reflection of the bus window as he drives.) An additional nail technician assists in the work of reshaping his nails from almond to ballerina, as Maguire occasionally winces due to a shoulder injury that makes the process less than comfortable. Maguire’s chrome dreams now brought to life, Jean expertly applies dozens of rhinestones, selected with the help of several other nail technicians, to his $150 hands.

“When I leave here I feel put together,” says Maguire. “I feel pretty. It’s like glitter exploding inside me.”

In 2013, Maguire suffered a broken leg. Upon the removal of his cast, a nurse suggested he get a pedicure to clean up his neglected feet. He went for what was supposed to a maintenance appointment — Maguire’s first — and left with the nails on his fingers and toes painted a rainbow of primary colours. “Life-changing,” he says. “The pedicure was the gateway.” Maguire’s sons, 15-years-old at the time, were unperturbed. Now 20, their main nail-related concern is that their dad deserves more Instagram followers.

When a photo of Maguire’s nails ended up on Toronto entertainment platform 6ixbuzz, he said he felt like “a teenager being cyber-bullied”. Though Maguire identifies as straight, and once even brought a woman on a date to the nail salon, many of those comments were distressingly homophobic. Beyond that, Maguire says he has not experienced any demonstrably dangerous confrontations. “You know what it is?”, he says. “It’s the look. If someone loves my nails, they’ll tell me. If someone thinks it’s weird, or is being judgmental, I get the look. Maybe I’m projecting. But you just feel it.”

Toward the end of the three-hour appointment, I realize that there have been no sideways glances or grimaces of denunciation at Maguire’s presence in a nail salon populated by women of varying ages. As is typical of most nail salons, clients exchange quick pleasantries or don’t notice each other at all. When we later get burritos — this girls’ day follows a strict itinerary — the millennials working the counter observe the Aurora Borealis on Maguire’s hands but offer no visible reaction. The other customers are too focused on their own plates to care about the contents of a stranger’s sleeves. (At the salon, one nail technician leaves her station to come over and ask if he’s the one who works for the subway. She leaves then promptly returns with a tray of jewels for him to browse.)

  View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Michael Maguire (@ttcnails) on Dec 13, 2018 at 10:04am PST

Most men are indifferent, says Maguire, but his admirers are gender neutral overall. One summer, a contractor boarded a bus he was driving on Martin Grove Road and complimented Maguire’s French manicure. “From a guy you’d never expect it from”, he recalls. “This guy was covered in drywall. He’d just left the work site.” Maguire does admit that “The dating pool shrinks dramatically”, noting that many women assume his penchant for nice nails means that he’s gay. “I think some [women] are a little thrown off by it,” he says. “So I put a picture of my nails on my Plenty of Fish profile. This way it’s not a surprise…But I’ve never quite understood our fascination with other people’s sexuality. Why are we so obsessed with that?” Last night, he says, a woman on the bus told him she admired his bravery. “I’m just being myself,” he says. “I’m not on a crusade. But if it puts a smile on anyone’s face, my job is done. At the same time, I don’t do this to be shy and reserved.”

“I’m a positive person by nature. Nothing but love, compassion and glitter,” says Maguire. “And right now I feel off the charts. I feel super alive. Heightened. It’s a natural high.”

As my own manicure finishes, Maguire insists that I, too, get some flashy hardware on my accent fingers. Not being the glitzy type, at least not in the sober light of Sunday afternoon, I resist. But Maguire encourages me to abandon the inhibitions preventing me from living a life of pizzazz. I run through a quick mental roll call of who I’ll see this week —an editor I’ve never met before, my class of fourth year undergraduate students, my professorial university colleagues, my therapist, who always notices my nails because I once bemoaned the money I spend on appearance only for every heterosexual man I’ve ever dated to be oblivious to the labour of beautification. But if Maguire can showcase his shimmery talons on the steering wheel of a TTC bus before an audience of thousands daily, I can lean in, too. (Now all I want is more.)

As an unrelated side note between bites, Maguire shares with me a gem of construction wisdom earned by years of landscaping and home renovations work: “You make your mistakes in the corner.” He is referring, of course, to the literal corner, where oddities and imperfections would be kept secluded. As Maguire heads off to a pub to watch the Super Bowl and I travel home to bask in the luminosity of my new rhinestones, I can’t shake the gravity of it. Maguire’s message is to be yourself wherever you go — defiantly, resplendently, unconventionally — not hidden in any corner.

“In the grand scheme of things, it’s so ridiculous”, he chuckles. “But it’s fun. And it makes me happy.”

The post Meet The TTC Bus Driver Who Loves Nail Art appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

Meet The TTC Bus Driver Who Loves Nail Art published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

[vincentbnaughton]

Beach House Style Inspiration

We’re nothing if not house optimists, so even as our our beach house comes apart (literally, we have mold and termite damage and bad wiring and no HVAC and a failing foundation and pretty much all of the other not-ideal things that necessitate carefully rebuilding a lot of it) we’ve learned that sometimes you just gotta focus on the fun exciting home-reno aspects to make it through the highly unglamorous and grimace-inducing ones. We’ll update you on our rebuilding progress soon (it’s pretty slow-going), but today we’re swinging open our brains and sharing the much-more-fun-to-think-about beach house style ideas that are bouncing around in there. Because even if there seem to be a million steps between now and the whole decorating thing, it’s totally keeping our house-reno mojo up right now. So without further ado, welcome to my brain:

Before we dive into the pics, you may want to refresh yourself on our floorplan and preliminary renovation plans in this post. There’s a full house tour video there too, and we’ve included the floor plan below for quick reference. Note: Our only significant change since originally creating it is that we plan to move the downstairs bathroom door into the mudroom, rather than having access from the dining area.

Our general inspiration for the inside can be summarized as: relaxed, uncomplicated, comfortable, and old-meets-new. We want to resist the urge to overfill or overdecorate the house, since it’s meant to feel easy and light (not meticulously organized or over-styled). Plus, it’s an old home, which is one of our favorite things about it – so we are embracing that full-on (keeping all the old doors and knobs and refinishing the old heart pine floors, and keeping our beloved curved wall and the original back staircase – we even uncovered an old brick chimney that we’re going to chip out and expose).

Of course we’ll be adding some updated touches factoring in guest comfort, mostly in the form of new things like fresh mattresses and bedding and curtains (as opposed to filling it with antiques until it feels like a set from a period film). And I realized after uploading all of these pics that they’re feeling very white. Which, don’t get me wrong, we’re definitely going for light and airy – but my guess is that we’ll end up making the space feel a bit more colorful than some of these inspiration images might suggest.

Let’s start with the bedrooms, since they pretty much epitomize our goal of relaxed and uncomplicated…

Bedroom Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from top left: 1 / 2 / 3

A bedroom – especially one meant for guests or renters – doesn’t need much in it, which is good because the bedrooms in this house aren’t huge. So our main goal is to create a bed that looks crazy comfortable and not too fussy. Maybe a simple nightstand, some fun artwork above it, and a cool light or two (maybe our $90 sconces in one of the rooms?). I love that these images all demonstrate that you can still make a simple, uncomplicated bedroom look welcoming and calming, as opposed to stark and bare.

Bunk Room Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from left: 1 / 2 / 3 

In addition to the three main bedrooms, we’re carving out a bonus sleeping zone for kids. It’s going to be tight (pretty much wall to wall with a ladder or something in front) and we’ll probably go white with the beds to keep the small space feeling bigger (that wood one is an Ikea hack!) but we’re aiming for something a little less formal and tailored than that bottom right pic (how cool is that rope ladder though?!). Dibs on the top bunk!

Bathroom Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from left: 1 / 2 / 3 

We have a tub in our master bathroom just like the one above  – JUST LIKE IT! Same claw feet and everything! Well, except ours is scratched and rusted and it isn’t painted that cool color on the outside. YET! But I smell potential. Can’t wait too get it reglazed. And back into the bathroom, since it’s currently in a bedroom because the bathroom was literally falling off the house (did I mention we have ALL the not-ideal things going on?). Quick, let’s look at more pretty things! We’d love to inject some natural tones and/or colorful accents via the vanities or floor tiles, and John especially loves the classic hex pattern in that bottom right pic, just maybe a medium gray instead of black so it’s not as dark.

Mudroom Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from top left: 1 / 2 / 3 

The mudroom space will essentially be for corralling sandy beach stuff, while also giving access to the full bathroom downstairs (so people can shower straight from the beach) and toss sandy towels right into the washer and dryer, which will be housed within the mudroom. We’ll probably incorporate some closed storage for beach toys and towels, but otherwise some simple (and affordable!) shelves and hooks are probably more than enough, since this isn’t your everyday coat & backpack-filled mudroom.

Kitchen Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from top left: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 

Since the beach house will just need to have a few cooking and serving staples, we’re not going to fill it to the brim with gadgets and gizmos aplenty (shout out to Ariel). So we like the idea of some unfussy base cabinets, maybe some open shelves, and perhaps a little color on the lowers. We want to do it relatively affordably and we don’t mind if it feels a bit old or rustic (versus feeling top of the line or super sleek). We’re thinking butcher block counters – maybe on the island – plus a few other hits of wood, like stools. And a freestanding piece like the cabinet in the top left picture would be all that and a bag of chips. Can we bring that phrase back? Please?

Dining Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from left: 1 / 2 / 3 

“Dining room” is probably too formal of a term for what will likely end up as a casual eating area, so we love the vibe of these pictures above. I’m especially loving the black round pedestal table + bench seating + coppery chairs + peach pillows equation (seriously, it’s giving me all the warm fuzzies). We’re digging the coziness of the bottom picture too, with that natural table and the woven light above it. Although sheepskin covered chairs in a rental house is probably not the smartest choice…

Door Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from left: 1 / 2 / 3 

My love for the old wood and chippy-painted doors in this house borders on unnatural. We have a veritable smorgasboard of original doors. A doorgasboard, if you will. So we’re planning to reuse all of them (even though our contractor has warned us three times about the challenges of making old, crooked doors function properly). Assuming we can get them all back to being functional (which we’ll do if it nearly kills us! I’m a dog with a bone!), we know they’ll give this old house character for days. Bring it on, doors. Let’s do this. After we deal with the mold and the termites.

Living Room Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from left: 1 / 2 / 3 

The living room isn’t very large and we’ll have a cool but layout-challenging curved wall to contend with. We’re not picturing a lot of furniture in there – maybe a couch, chair, coffee table, and TV? – so we want them to be interesting, especially since it’s the first room you’ll see. We LOVE the clean lines of the wooden coffee table in the big pic (maybe we could build something like that?) and those blue ottomans got us thinking that a colorful sofa or chair could be a fun option too. Just gotta find something dark enough to wear well.

Bookcase Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from top left: 1 / 2 / 3 

I know it may seem weird to make a separate category for bookcases, but as much as we’re trying to keep this house simple and uncluttered, we still want at least one or two book-filled spots that feel lived in and homey (a bookshelf packed with books, magazines, and games makes those rainy days spent cooped up at a beach house SO MUCH BETTER). So we’re including these to remind us of the range of bookcases we could potentially consider. We’re not sure if we’ll have enough books to emulate the top left pic, but maybe a more casual wood rack like the one under it (perhaps in the bunk room with some colorful kids books on it?).

Stair Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from left: 1 / 2 / 3 

The front/main stairs of the house will remain wood (although the risers and spindles of ours are white), so the large pic on the left is making me super excited for getting them back to their former glory. And we’re pretty excited to have a bonus back staircase (some folks have asked why we’re keeping that since the layout would be easier without it – and the short answer is that WE FREAKING LOVE IT and all of the original character it adds. Many of our neighbors told us theirs was already gone when they moved in and they were so sad to have lost it, so we’re downright giddy to get to keep ours!). It’s definitely in rougher shape than the front steps (the risers are also already painted white), so we’re thinking that might be a cool spot to inject some color. Maybe the whole shebang like the top right pic if we can’t salvage the worn wood treads? Or just by adding a hit of minty green to the already-painted risers inspired by that bottom photo?

Side note: I just learned baskets like the one on the floor in the top right pic are called Belly Baskets and I LOVE THIS ONE.

And so ends the in-my-dreams-the-beach-house-will-be-this-fabulous tour that’s going on in my head. I’m sure there will be a lot of twists and turns as we get closer to a finished house that we can actually paint and furnish and decorate, but it’s really fun to toss out all of our inspiration to see what sticks. One thing’s for sure: there will be built-ins! And blue-green! And old doors! And light walls! And peach pillows! And lots of wood! Viva la beach house! Ok, back to dealing with that highly unglamorous bathroom’s-falling-off-the-house sitch. Thanks for daydreaming with me.

*This post contains affiliate links*

The post Beach House Style Inspiration appeared first on Young House Love.

[vincentbnaughton]

Beach House Style Inspiration

We’re nothing if not house optimists, so even as our our beach house comes apart (literally, we have mold and termite damage and bad wiring and no HVAC and a failing foundation and pretty much all of the other not-ideal things that necessitate carefully rebuilding a lot of it) we’ve learned that sometimes you just gotta focus on the fun exciting home-reno aspects to make it through the highly unglamorous and grimace-inducing ones. We’ll update you on our rebuilding progress soon (it’s pretty slow-going), but today we’re swinging open our brains and sharing the much-more-fun-to-think-about beach house style ideas that are bouncing around in there. Because even if there seem to be a million steps between now and the whole decorating thing, it’s totally keeping our house-reno mojo up right now. So without further ado, welcome to my brain:

Before we dive into the pics, you may want to refresh yourself on our floorplan and preliminary renovation plans in this post. There’s a full house tour video there too, and we’ve included the floor plan below for quick reference. Note: Our only significant change since originally creating it is that we plan to move the downstairs bathroom door into the mudroom, rather than having access from the dining area.

Our general inspiration for the inside can be summarized as: relaxed, uncomplicated, comfortable, and old-meets-new. We want to resist the urge to overfill or overdecorate the house, since it’s meant to feel easy and light (not meticulously organized or over-styled). Plus, it’s an old home, which is one of our favorite things about it – so we are embracing that full-on (keeping all the old doors and knobs and refinishing the old heart pine floors, and keeping our beloved curved wall and the original back staircase – we even uncovered an old brick chimney that we’re going to chip out and expose).

Of course we’ll be adding some updated touches factoring in guest comfort, mostly in the form of new things like fresh mattresses and bedding and curtains (as opposed to filling it with antiques until it feels like a set from a period film). And I realized after uploading all of these pics that they’re feeling very white. Which, don’t get me wrong, we’re definitely going for light and airy – but my guess is that we’ll end up making the space feel a bit more colorful than some of these inspiration images might suggest.

Let’s start with the bedrooms, since they pretty much epitomize our goal of relaxed and uncomplicated…

Bedroom Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from top left: 1 / 2 / 3

A bedroom – especially one meant for guests or renters – doesn’t need much in it, which is good because the bedrooms in this house aren’t huge. So our main goal is to create a bed that looks crazy comfortable and not too fussy. Maybe a simple nightstand, some fun artwork above it, and a cool light or two (maybe our $90 sconces in one of the rooms?). I love that these images all demonstrate that you can still make a simple, uncomplicated bedroom look welcoming and calming, as opposed to stark and bare.

Bunk Room Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from left: 1 / 2 / 3 

In addition to the three main bedrooms, we’re carving out a bonus sleeping zone for kids. It’s going to be tight (pretty much wall to wall with a ladder or something in front) and we’ll probably go white with the beds to keep the small space feeling bigger (that wood one is an Ikea hack!) but we’re aiming for something a little less formal and tailored than that bottom right pic (how cool is that rope ladder though?!). Dibs on the top bunk!

Bathroom Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from left: 1 / 2 / 3 

We have a tub in our master bathroom just like the one above  – JUST LIKE IT! Same claw feet and everything! Well, except ours is scratched and rusted and it isn’t painted that cool color on the outside. YET! But I smell potential. Can’t wait too get it reglazed. And back into the bathroom, since it’s currently in a bedroom because the bathroom was literally falling off the house (did I mention we have ALL the not-ideal things going on?). Quick, let’s look at more pretty things! We’d love to inject some natural tones and/or colorful accents via the vanities or floor tiles, and John especially loves the classic hex pattern in that bottom right pic, just maybe a medium gray instead of black so it’s not as dark.

Mudroom Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from top left: 1 / 2 / 3 

The mudroom space will essentially be for corralling sandy beach stuff, while also giving access to the full bathroom downstairs (so people can shower straight from the beach) and toss sandy towels right into the washer and dryer, which will be housed within the mudroom. We’ll probably incorporate some closed storage for beach toys and towels, but otherwise some simple (and affordable!) shelves and hooks are probably more than enough, since this isn’t your everyday coat & backpack-filled mudroom.

Kitchen Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from top left: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 

Since the beach house will just need to have a few cooking and serving staples, we’re not going to fill it to the brim with gadgets and gizmos aplenty (shout out to Ariel). So we like the idea of some unfussy base cabinets, maybe some open shelves, and perhaps a little color on the lowers. We want to do it relatively affordably and we don’t mind if it feels a bit old or rustic (versus feeling top of the line or super sleek). We’re thinking butcher block counters – maybe on the island – plus a few other hits of wood, like stools. And a freestanding piece like the cabinet in the top left picture would be all that and a bag of chips. Can we bring that phrase back? Please?

Dining Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from left: 1 / 2 / 3 

“Dining room” is probably too formal of a term for what will likely end up as a casual eating area, so we love the vibe of these pictures above. I’m especially loving the black round pedestal table + bench seating + coppery chairs + peach pillows equation (seriously, it’s giving me all the warm fuzzies). We’re digging the coziness of the bottom picture too, with that natural table and the woven light above it. Although sheepskin covered chairs in a rental house is probably not the smartest choice…

Door Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from left: 1 / 2 / 3 

My love for the old wood and chippy-painted doors in this house borders on unnatural. We have a veritable smorgasboard of original doors. A doorgasboard, if you will. So we’re planning to reuse all of them (even though our contractor has warned us three times about the challenges of making old, crooked doors function properly). Assuming we can get them all back to being functional (which we’ll do if it nearly kills us! I’m a dog with a bone!), we know they’ll give this old house character for days. Bring it on, doors. Let’s do this. After we deal with the mold and the termites.

Living Room Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from left: 1 / 2 / 3 

The living room isn’t very large and we’ll have a cool but layout-challenging curved wall to contend with. We’re not picturing a lot of furniture in there – maybe a couch, chair, coffee table, and TV? – so we want them to be interesting, especially since it’s the first room you’ll see. We LOVE the clean lines of the wooden coffee table in the big pic (maybe we could build something like that?) and those blue ottomans got us thinking that a colorful sofa or chair could be a fun option too. Just gotta find something dark enough to wear well.

Bookcase Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from top left: 1 / 2 / 3 

I know it may seem weird to make a separate category for bookcases, but as much as we’re trying to keep this house simple and uncluttered, we still want at least one or two book-filled spots that feel lived in and homey (a bookshelf packed with books, magazines, and games makes those rainy days spent cooped up at a beach house SO MUCH BETTER). So we’re including these to remind us of the range of bookcases we could potentially consider. We’re not sure if we’ll have enough books to emulate the top left pic, but maybe a more casual wood rack like the one under it (perhaps in the bunk room with some colorful kids books on it?).

Stair Inspiration:

image sources, clockwise from left: 1 / 2 / 3 

The front/main stairs of the house will remain wood (although the risers and spindles of ours are white), so the large pic on the left is making me super excited for getting them back to their former glory. And we’re pretty excited to have a bonus back staircase (some folks have asked why we’re keeping that since the layout would be easier without it – and the short answer is that WE FREAKING LOVE IT and all of the original character it adds. Many of our neighbors told us theirs was already gone when they moved in and they were so sad to have lost it, so we’re downright giddy to get to keep ours!). It’s definitely in rougher shape than the front steps (the risers are also already painted white), so we’re thinking that might be a cool spot to inject some color. Maybe the whole shebang like the top right pic if we can’t salvage the worn wood treads? Or just by adding a hit of minty green to the already-painted risers inspired by that bottom photo?

Side note: I just learned baskets like the one on the floor in the top right pic are called Belly Baskets and I LOVE THIS ONE.

And so ends the in-my-dreams-the-beach-house-will-be-this-fabulous tour that’s going on in my head. I’m sure there will be a lot of twists and turns as we get closer to a finished house that we can actually paint and furnish and decorate, but it’s really fun to toss out all of our inspiration to see what sticks. One thing’s for sure: there will be built-ins! And blue-green! And old doors! And light walls! And peach pillows! And lots of wood! Viva la beach house! Ok, back to dealing with that highly unglamorous bathroom’s-falling-off-the-house sitch. Thanks for daydreaming with me.

*This post contains affiliate links*

The post Beach House Style Inspiration appeared first on Young House Love.