#i literally can't even look at him without feeling a visceral horrified feeling in my body

[tired-reader-writer]

Chapter 131 Rapid-Fire Reaction

I feel like I'm gonna be skipping over some stuff but here we go!

@innerchorus' reaction post here

Very happy to spot you, bud!

This was really cute. Jaswant on babysitting duty loooool.

This panel evoked similar feelings in me as Bodin's death scene. It's just this visceral, horrifying, and harrowing sort of feel that creeps up your spine. The contorted limbs. The blood-stained grass. Every aspect of it is just... yeah.

Considering how Andragoras' court was filled with corruption, the Temple a cesspit, and the person who tried to fix both issues essentially got chased out even if he left of his own volition... yeah. It's definitely self-flattery and delusion on Andragoras' part— Pars' capital and politics were rotten with a shiny veneer/mask on top. He did not care. He has no right lecturing Arslan on being “a strong King”.

This is definitely the first (and only) time Tahamenay initiated touch with Andragoras, just look at the shock in his eye. But it's— well.

I'm glad this change was made in the manga— it gives Tahamenay some measure of catharsis and closure, even if it's still painful in the end, she would never reunite with her child. But still. She got revenge. She got revenge for her homeland. At least there's that. Looking at this scene, I can't help but think this is a fitting end for a man like Andragoras. My brain is a bit fried so I can't put it eloquently but it's just. It fits. She even throws his words back at this situation. A farce.

Reordering the scenes a bit, at first I wondered if the manga was trying to hint at something with this panel (Tahamenay's talking about Estelle here) and I know I'm not the only one— but ultimately I don't think Arakawa will go this way. Their palettes are too different even if they're equally light-haired and light-eyed in this black-and-white manga form, and even outside of that... There was no indication or hint that Estelle was adopted (they were in the anime, but there's nothing about that in both the manga and the novels) and if Arakawa wanted to hint at Estelle being the lost daughter, I'd think she would've planted the seeds for this early on.

Rather, I believe this is like closing a door for Tahamenay, coming to terms with the fact that she'll likely never see her daughter again. Either this realization was what allowed her to kill Andragoras, or she's coming to terms with this after she'd killed him.

She looks so tired and sad.

Alfarīd is someone who inspires other people and lights a fire in them— Estelle needed this. This is where her priorities should be. The civilians. The innocents. I do believe that Alfarīd is in the know about how Arslan asked the three merchant boys to keep them safe— but whether she knew or not there's an element of uncertainty here, it's a gambit. They could've still died but she has to find something, anything, to snap Estelle out of this guilt spiral and redirect her emotions. And at first it seems like the gambit didn't pay off but no, no! It did! They're all safe! Estelle is rewarded for their efforts.

Estelle struggles with guilt of having been the one that escaped, the one that lived, the one that was always late to save people, and I'm so glad that the streak has finally been broken. They've been through a lot.

I can't form a coherent thought on this but I think there's smth about their growth and Arslan's kindness and how things pay off buuuut my brain is not cooperating.

Look at that! I think Isfan's smiling! That lil fang! He's happy for Arslan!

This panel is particularly ominous even without featuring Shapur (which it does, I just cropped him out) because like. Isfan was shown smiling in literally the previous panel. But here the speech bubble obscures his face, there's a tension to it here, and the sense that something is incredibly wrong.

Which, of course, is entirely correct because there's an undead Shapur literally looming in the back.

To map out the absolute journey my brain took upon seeing that last page:

Not Registering That It's Shapur → Oh Hey It's Shapur! → Wait Why Is He Here He's Dead → Realize His Eyes Are Different → OH NO HEART ATTACK in the span of like five seconds 😭 Like, it did NOT intellectually register at first and then the dawning horror catches up.

[tomhardysteeth]

Tom Hardy’s characters ranked by how much I want to smash them

1) James Keziah Delaney - would absolutely let this dirty grungy man tear me apart literally and spiritually

2) Reggie Kray - please strip me of my sanity and ruin my fucking life

3) Bob Saginowski - sweet soft man in everyday life, absolute animal in bed

4) Max Rockatansky - worth the STD to smash this skinny small man in the back of the war rig

5) Eddie Brock - would absolutely dom the shit out of him

6) Forrest Bondurant - see #5 (Eddie Brock)

7) Tommy Conlon - would like him to punch me in the fucking face before fucking me

8) John Fitzgerald - honestly keep the bandana on and try not to be racist and i will still smash

9) Eames - is gay, but i am also gay, so ???

10) Bronson - big beefy man, mustache good

11) Alfie Solomons - is 150 years older than me but looks good with the face scar so honestly i’d consider it

12) Bane - too large no thank you

[shadowed-dancer]

Incomprehensible ramblings incoming (Spoilers for MHA 350):

I went back and watched the episode where the League meets Ujiko and DAMN I can't look at Nomus the same way again. Just seeing the Nomu made my stomach knot up. At one point I thought I was actually going to throw up. I'm not even joking. I've never had THIS MUCH of a visceral reaction to such a "nothing" scene before. I've cried at movie deaths, I've flinched at fight scenes, but this was literally a still-shot of a Nomu in a tank doing NOTHING and I could feel my stomach twisting.

Like, we always knew the story behind the Nomu is tragic, but I always felt that barrier of "the extra" preventing it from really hitting me just how disturbing the concept of Nomus are.

Nomus were never really "characters". They were made from people but like, in name only. It was horrifying, 100%, but it was just sort of a fact of their backstory. It existed to show how messed up Ujiko is, but since they were introduced as Nomus, it never really affected me beyond "damn, that's fucked up. Ujiko and AFO are evil and I hope the heroes stop them".

Like think about how none of us are sad the OFA users are dead. It's because they started the story dead and were literally written to be dead mentors. We met them when they were already ghosts. No one is here crying that Nana is dead because, like, that's the whole point. She was written to be the dead mentor. We never lost her because we never even had her. But if All Might died, then I think most of us would be pretty distraught.

In a way, it's the same with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. Shirakumo wasn't an established character (in the main series) beforehand. Yes, his brief story is sad (much sadder when you read his chapters), but in the main series, he's literally introduced as "a kid who got turned into a Nomu". There was just this level of disconnect, like Shirakumo as a character existed for this specific plot point. Horikoshi didn't create him for a purpose beyond that. It's not like we lost Shirakumo along the way and then learned about his tragic fate, he was literally name dropped once and then introduced as "the guy we think this Nomu was made from". Messed up, but that's his narrative purpose. (It also helps that Kurogiri is pretty sentient and is able to act as a character in his own right).

But while watching the anime and seeing the Nomus now (after 350) it makes me so uncomfortable because I just get hit with that thought of "that could have been Dabi". Love him or hate him, Dabi is a character we KNOW. We've seen him hanging out with the League, we've seen his backstory, we know HIM. He was NOT introduced into the story as a Nomu, he had his own stuff going on. He was existing and growing as a character.

He's complicated. He's fun to read about. He's got an interesting backstory and fascinating dynamics with other characters. And something about knowing that someone like Dabi would have become a mindless, faceless Nomu is just chilling. There would have been no Dabi to know. Touya, a sweet, innocent kid, would have become a literal nameless enemy for a hero to defeat without a second glance. All of that backstory and tragedy COMPLETELY GONE if he had been turned into a Nomu. And that's where it gets me, because that is the case for every. single. Nomu.

Of course I knew this before. I always understood that Nomus had lives beforehand. But it took seeing a character I KNOW saying "that's what you would have done to me" to make me realize how sick and twisted the Nomu are.

Let me clarify this: I never saw the Nomu as just faceless enemies for the heroes to kill. I still think it is VERY messed up that the heroes kill them so nonchalantly. But something about 350 made it so much more real and like... idk it really got into my head.

I got a somewhat similar feeling when I learned Aizawa was supposed to be Kurogiri. The thought of the Aizawa I know and love not existing broke my heart, but it was calmed by the knowledge that he would have at least been somewhat intelligent. I don't think Dabi would have been given that same luxury.

I think that's what it is: the thought that this character I've grown attached to could have (and would have, if he hadn't run) been this mindless monster is extremely upsetting, and seeing the other Nomu makes me realize just how disturbing of a concept they are.

Fuck Ujiko and FUCK AFO

(I don't swear often, but I make an exception when it comes to AFO. Ujiko has now been added to this list).

Congrats, you just read through me attempting to rationalize my thought process. Have a cookie.

Anyways, you write your horror manga, Hori. If you are able to do THIS to me with a single chapter, you're gonna do great.