She heard me doing things so she came up to the side of her baby bin and blelelelele'd at me until I noticed her. She greets me every morning where we spend the first hour of every day together, her just resting in my hand and me holding her, often gently petting her head and tiny scales. If there is a heaven, that first hour we spend together is it.
She is getting a larger enclosure for her birthday in a month and a half. :D Hopefully I can get it done in time, as I haven't sculpted a custom enclosure before and will be trying some new artistic critiques. I do have experience sculpting though. My biggest worry is the paints and sealing them properly! Art I can do- but food safe art that will be in a moist bioactive enclosure is new for me.
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To celebrate 10 years in this god forsaken fandom, I redrew the og art of my fave paranormal investigators !
Singles and small rant below cut :P
Cannot believe it’s been a damn decade. This fandom and these characters have done so much to shape me and help me turn into the person- and artist!!- I am today, and I am forever grateful for the friends I’ve made along the way. (You know who you are 😉)
I cannot believe young Gooze looked at Johnny Ghost and said Yeah, that’s my entire personality now, and then it WAS. Now I’m an inducted thespian with a love for dramatizing everything, and for doing stupid voices, and a buncha other stuff. I even took his name, Johnny/Ghost. Which I suppose a lot of us have, huh?
Anyway if you’re looking down here, hi, here’s the first ever piece of fanart young Gooze did (that I can find)
(Yes, that’s Ghost and Jimmy. And yeah it’s bad, but I was a very young child. Let’s appreciate how far I’ve come, yeah?)
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We draw closer. In tears,
in smiles, I don’t know. Just one step more
and we’ll listen to your shell together,
to the roar of a thousand orchestras,
to the roar of our wedding march.
Dream by Wisława Szymborska, trans. Clare Cavanagh
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⚠️Spoilers for Look Back but I was initially confused about what Fujino and Kyomoto's relationship had to do with pursuing a career as a mangaka. After thinking about it, I interpret it as a narrative device to represent what will come when choosing to pursue art (of any form, whether it's comics, painting, animation, music, etc.).
Think about it, what's Kyomoto's role in the story? She is what got Fujino to take art seriously in middle school, and what motivated her to continue after she initially gave up. However, she's also the only thing in the story that makes Fujino wish she quit art. First, halfway through 6th grade and then later after her death. She serves as Fujino's motivator and de-motivator.
I think the scene of Fujino wishing that she never told Kyomoto to come out (that pursuing art only led to suffering) represents artists' regrets. We literally look back and see an alternate universe where Fujino never pursued art and it has a happier ending. Anyone that pursues artistic dreams will end up regretting it at some point. It's not easy, any artist will tell you that. The story is saying yes, you probably will end up healthier and more stable by giving up your dreams. Because art is suffering.
But then Fujino enters Kyomoto's room after reading the comic from the alternate reality and all of a sudden we get a montage of the happy memories and accomplishments they had pursuing their dreams together. And we realize that, everything we saw of them in the alternate 'happier' reality pales in comparison to this:
The happiest both of them look in that alternate world is when they finally meet and promise to work together someday. They loved art. They loved each other. Giving up on your dreams means missing out on all of that, and nothing in the world can replace it. Because yes art is suffering, but art is also joy and love.
And so the end of the story where Fujino goes back to work isn't her moving on. She tapes the comic strip in front of her to remind her of Kyomoto, to remind her of why she got into comics in the first place. Basically, Kyomoto IS art to Fujino. A life with her means experiencing both suffering and joy, while the life without her means having none of that.
I might be wrong about this, like maybe Fujimoto just wanted to tell a mangaka story with doomed yuri (valid) HOWEVER i like my interpretation so im sticking with it.
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HUGE VENT
I'm sorry but i need to get this out, just please don't worry too much or take anything personally/gen
My routine these last two weeeks has been:
-Wake up at my 10 am alarm and spend the whole day in bed, mentally and physically exhausted, brain fog and no motivation for anything, only getting up to eat, having to wait for the "food time" hours to roll around that my therapist gave me because I'm not allowed to eat outside of those hours and if I'm hungry but missed the last food time then too bad, struggling to stay awake because again I'm not allowed to sleep out of the "sleep hours" she gave me and that includes naps, excitedly waiting for 21h30/22h to roll around so i can finally sleep
-Spend the evening mentally screaming in my mind because, while my body is still just as physically exhausted, my mind is suddenly sharp and full of ideas and motivation, but i'm still too tired to get up and draw
-Then spend midnight and onward rolling around in bed, hot and bored out of my mind because my physical tiredness also vanished, but i'm not allowed to get up and draw because it's "sleep hours" and i need to reschedule my body, and end up falling asleep at around 5 am
I'm totally not slowly loosing my mind 😃👍
Edit: Oh also the constant noise in my ears has gotten worse, i don't know what silence is anymore
Silence is actually worse than loud rooms
It's driving me insane
It's so loud
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the other other ironic thing is
all the batfam first names are pretty bland, so if korvin actually committed to 'kevin' that would be grounds for full assimilation into bat vigilantism and developing comic-tier competency
he is only regular-people competent and the mental gymnastics he does to cope will be medalist-worthy and entertaining
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Going insane rn remembering how amazing Karmaland 5 was. I'm rewatching old clips and animations and rereading my old notes and analysis and I'm like dang. I'm so glad I was able to experience this live.
It does make me think a lot about preservation and streaming as a medium for storytelling though. When it comes to servers with multiple people, inevitably there will be POVs you don't see and stories you miss out on (especially if things aren't archived or deleted). You'll never get the full picture unless you see every single thing from every possible angle. A single line from a POV you don't watch could change your entire outlook on a character -- it could change the entire story itself. As someone who's committed to knowing every single thing about a story, it's extremely frustrating, but at the same time, it's such a fascinating way to tell a story. I do wish it was a little easier to re-experience these stories though because streams take so much more time to consume, and even if VODs are edited down, sometimes things are lost and those single story-changing lines are left out solely because an editor might not deem them "important" to the narrative as a whole.
I dunno man. As a writer and a story-enjoyer, it gives me a lot to think about.
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I forgot how much I loved BlackSun until rewatching RWBY tbh. Sun is one of my favourite characters in the whole show and I love him so dearly and his devotion and love for Blake makes me so soft.
He followed her halfway across the world, he refused to leave when she pushed everyone away. They're such a good pairing--he lifts her up, and she mellows him somewhat. He's so genuine, he cares so openly and it's honestly so refreshing to see among a cast of traumatised individuals (whom I love also don't get me wrong)
Blake spent her whole life making decisions she regrets and running, and Sun is exactly who she needed. He ran with her--he followed her, he saw all her mistakes and said "I love you anyway." And he helped her because he loved her, not for any personal gain.
Volumes 4 and 5 are probably the weakest seasons imo, but I love them so much if only because of Sun.
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