#i looked around seeking for imagery to include (and found enough for a whole another poem and a half)

[alasblogpoetry]

Coolth.

Earth a lifeless cement - Dirt frozen over, Trees bare and dead.

Wind a motionless freeze - Air is as if claws Cling onto our skin.

Sun a heartless deceit - A disk blank and white, An absence of heat.

Fire - its faint orange tongues barely touching our skin.

Layers of sweaters - heavy but transparent to coolth.

Submerged, by woods, by deathly coolth of morning, by thirst for warmth.

Together a freezing love - Forget the fire and layers, We hug.

Warmth.

(to MK, AK, DB, and Art)

[nopefun]

Interview #494: Ryan Frigillana

Ryan Frigillana is a Philippine-born lens-based artist living and working in New York. His work focuses on the fluidity of memory, intimacy, family identity, and visual culture, largely filtered through the lens of race and immigration. Embracing its plasticity, Frigillana explores photography’s relationship to context as a catalyst for thematic dialogue.

His first monograph, Visions of Eden, was published as two editions in 2020, and is held in the library collections of the MoMA, Getty Research Institute, and Smithsonian among others.

We spoke to find out more about Visions of Eden, his love for photobooks, and photography as a medium for introspection.

Lee Chang Ming Ryan Frigillana

Thanks for agreeing to do this! As we’ve just arrived into the new year, I want to start by asking: how did you arrive at photography and how has your practice evolved so far? Your earlier work was anything from still life to street photography, but your recent work seems to deal with more personal themes.

It’s my pleasure; thank you for having this conversation with me! Wow, looking back at how I’ve arrived at this point makes me feel so grateful for this medium, and excited to think of where it will lead me from here. I came to photography somewhat late. I was initially studying to become a nurse and was set to start a career in that field, but I found myself unhappy with where I was going. My mother was a nurse and I know what goes into being one; it’s not an easy job, and I respect those who do it, but my heart wasn’t in it. I found photography as a creative outlet during that stage of my life, and I’ve clung onto it ever since.

My first exposure to photography (no pun intended) came in the form of street and photojournalism. I would borrow books from the library a lot, consuming works by Magnum and other photographers working in that tradition. At the time, it was all I knew so that’s what I tried to emulate. Even early on in my undergrad career, these modes of creation were reinforced by curriculum and by what I saw from my own peers. My still-life work branches off of that same sentiment: the only names that were ever thrown around by professors were Penn and Mapplethorpe, so that’s who I studied. Thankfully over the years, I’ve been able to broaden that perspective through my own research. Though I don’t necessarily pursue street or constructed still-lifes anymore for my personal work, I’d like to think my technical skills (in regard to timing, composition, light) owe a debt to those past experiences.

I suppose now I’m starting to explore how photography can be used as language, to communicate ideas and internal conflicts. I’m thinking more about the power of imagery, its authorship, its implications, and how photographs have shaped, and continue to shape, our reality. That’s where my work is headed at the moment.

I liked how you mentioned photography as a language, which calls into question who we are speaking to when we make images and what kind of narrative we construct by putting photographs together.

In your work “Visions of Eden”, you trace your family’s journey as first-generation Filipino immigrants in America. I was quite struck by how you managed to link together original photography, archived materials and video stills. To me, with the original photography there was a sense of calm and clarity, perhaps in the composition. But with the archived material it was like peering through tinted glass, and the video stills felt like an unsteady memory. What was the editing process like for you and how did you decide what to include or exclude?

For me, editing is the hardest part about photography. Shooting is the enjoyable part of course because it can feel so cathartic. Sometimes when I shoot it feels almost like muscle memory in the sense that you see the world and you just react to it in a trained way. But with editing, it’s more of a cerebral exercise. More thought is involved when you have to deal with visual relationships, sequence, rhythm, and spacing, etc. The real creation of my work takes place in the editing process. That’s where the ingredients come together to form an identity.

When creating this identity, I not only have to think about what I want to say, but also how I want to say it. It’s like speaking; there are numerous ways you can communicate a single sentence. How are images placed in relation to one another? How large are they printed, or how much white space surrounds it? Are the images repeated? What’s on the following page? The preceding page? Is there text? How are they positioned on the spread? All of these little choices impact the tone of your work. And that’s not even mentioning tactile factors like paper stock or cover material. I think that’s why I have such a deep love for photobooks because 1) they’re physical objects and 2) someone has obsessed over every aspect of that object.

I’m aware that my photographs lately have a quiet, detached, somewhat stripped-down quality to them. I think that’s just a subconscious rejection of my earlier days shooting a lot of street where I was constantly seeking crowded frames and complexity in my compositions. As I’ve grown older, I realize less is more and if I can do more by saying less, that’s even better. Now, the complexity I seek lies in the work as a whole and how all these little parts can form something fluid and layered, and not easily definable.

For Visions of Eden, I wanted the work to feel somewhat syncopated and wandering in thought. That meant finding a balance between my quiet static photographs and the movement and energy of the video stills, or balancing the coldness of the illustrations with the warmth of the family snapshots. The work needed to be cohesive but have enough ambiguity for it to take life in someone else’s imagination. Peoples’ lived experiences in regard to immigration and religion are so complex that they can’t be narrated in any one definitive way. Visions of Eden, hopefully, is a rejection of that singularity.

Yes, there’s definitely something special and intimate about flipping through a photobook! For your monograph, you recently released a second edition which is different from your first (redesigned, added images, etc.). Why did you decide to make it different? Was the editing mainly a solitary process?

The first edition was a partially hand-made object. Illustrations were printed on translucent vellum paper and then tipped into the gutter of the book. When you flip through the pages, those vellum sheets would overlap over certain images, creating a collage-like effect. That was my original concept for this book. Doing this, however, was so laborious and time consuming, and not to mention expensive! Regretfully, I wound up making only twenty copies of that first edition. I wanted the work shared with a wider audience so that’s why I decided to publish a second run.

The latest edition is more of a straight-forward production without the vellum paper. With this change in design, I had to reconfigure the layout. I took liberties in swapping out some images or adding new ones altogether. Also, a beautiful afterword was contributed by my friend, artist, writer, and curator Efrem Zelony-Mindell. I still feel so fortunate and grateful to have had my work seen and elevated by their words in my book.

For the most part, yes editing is quite a solitary process for me. But there does come a point when I feel it’s ready, where I share the work with a few trusted people. It’s always nice to have that outer support system. Much of Visions of Eden was created during my time in undergrad school so I had all sorts of feedback from peers and professors which I’m grateful for. But in the end, as the author, you ultimately have the final say in your work.

Given that Eden is a starting point and metaphor in the work, I was thinking about ideas of gardens, (forbidden) fruit, and movement of people.

How do you view yourself in relation to your place of birth? In your series, I see the most direct links in the letters, old photos where tropical foliage is present in the background, and the photo of the jackfruit (perhaps the only tropical fruit in this series).

I came to America when I was very young, about five years old. For my family and for many other families still living in the Philippines, America is seen as a sort of ideological Eden: a land of milk and honey, of wealth and excess. We all know that’s far from the truth. Every Eden has a caveat, a forbidden tree. Which leads me to ask: as an immigrant living in this country, what fruits were never intended for me?

I honestly don’t remember much about my childhood in the Philippines aside from fleeting memories of my relatives, the sounds of animals, the smell of rain and earth, the taste of my grandmother’s cooking. The identity that I carry with me now as a Filipino is not so much tied to the physical geography of a place but rather it is derived from a way of life, from shared stories, in the values we hold dear, passed on from generation to generation. This is a warm flame that lives on in me to this day as I write these words thousands of miles away from where I came.

Photographs have a way of shaping our memory and our relationship to the past, which in turn affects how we engage with the present. The family photographs and letters used in my book act as anchors in a meandering journey. They serve as landmarks that I can return to whenever I feel lost or need assurance so far away from “home”. They give me the comfort and affirmation that I need to navigate a space where I never really felt I belonged. The spread in my book­­ that you mentioned—the jackfruit on one side, and the Saran-wrapped apple on the preceding page—was a reference to my duality as both Filipino and American. It’s a reminder and an acknowledgment that I am a sum of many things, of many people who have shaped me. If I flourish in life, it’s because my roots were nourished by love.

I like how you mentioned photos as anchors or landmarks. Isn’t that why we create and photograph? To mark certain points in our lives and to envision possible futures, like a cartographer mapping an inner journey. Do you feel like you and your relationships with those you photographed changed through the process of making your works?

When my parents took pictures of our family, it wasn’t done solely in the name of remembrance; it also served as an affirmation of ourselves and our journey—a celebration. Every birthday, vacation, school ceremony, or even the seemingly insignificant events of daily life were all photographed or video-taped as a way of saying to ourselves, “Here we are. Look how far we’ve come. Look at the life we’ve made. And here’s the proof”.

Now, holding a camera and photographing my family through my own lens still carries all of that celebratory joy, but with so much more possibility. Before I really took photography seriously, I never realized its potential as a medium for introspection, but that’s ultimately what it has become for me. In taking pictures of my family, I not only clarify my own feelings about them, but the act of photography itself informs and builds on my relationship with each person. The camera is not a mere recording device, but a tool for understanding, processing, and even expressing love...or resentment. Though I may not be visible in my pictures, my presence is there: in my proximity, my gaze, my focus.

Does all of this impact my relationships? Absolutely. Photographing another person willingly always demands some degree of trust and vulnerability from both sides. There’s a silent dialogue that occurs which feels like an exchange of secrets. I think that’s why I often don’t feel comfortable photographing other people unless we’re very close. Usually my family is open enough to reveal themselves to me, other times what they give can feel quite guarded. That’s a constant negotiation. After the photograph is made though, nobody ever emerges the same person because each of us has relinquished something, no matter how small.

Being self-reflexive in photography is so important. I agree it should be a constant negotiation, but it’s something that bothers me these days – the power dynamic between the photographer and photograph, particularly for personal and documentary projects. More significantly, after the photograph has been made, who is really benefiting. But I guess if we are sensitive to that then perhaps we can navigate that tricky path and find a balance. 

Right, finding that balance is key and sometimes there are no clear-cut answers. That power dynamic is something I always have to be mindful of. As the photographer, you are exercising a certain role and position. At the end of the day, you’re the one essentially “taking” what you need and walking away. There’s an inherent violence or aggression in the act of taking someone’s picture, no matter how well-intended it may be. This aggression carries even greater weight when working, as you say, in a genre like documentary where representation is everything.

I remember an undergrad professor of mine, Nadia Sablin, introducing me to the work of Shelby Lee Adams—particularly his Appalachian Legacy series. Adams spent twenty-five years documenting the disadvantaged Appalachian communities in his home state of Kentucky, visiting the same families over a long period of time. Though the photographs are beautifully crafted, they pose many questions in regard to exploitation, representation, and the aestheticization of suffering. He is or was, after all, an artist thriving and profiting off of these photographs. Salgado is another that comes to mind. This was the first time I really stopped to think about the ethics of image-making. Who is benefitting from it all?

I think the search for this balance is something each photographer has to reckon with personally. Though each situation may vary with different factors that have to be weighed, and context that must be applied, you can always ask yourself these same ever-pertinent questions: am I representing people in a dignified way, and what are my intentions with these images? Communication (listening), building relationships, acknowledging your power, and respecting the people you photograph are all foundational things to consider when exercising your privilege with the camera.

Well said! The process of making photographs can be tricky to navigate yet rewarding. Any upcoming projects or ideas? What’s keeping you busy these days?

Oh, let’s just say I’m constantly juggling 3-4 ideas in my head at any given time, but ninety percent of the time they don’t ever lead to anything finished haha. This past year has been tough on everyone I’m sure. I’ve been dealing a lot with personal loss and grief and the compounded isolation brought on by the pandemic, so for months I’ve been making photographs organically as a subconscious response to these internal struggles. It’s more of an exploration of grief itself as a natural phenomenon and force—like time or gravity. Grief is something everyone will experience in life and each of us deals with it differently, but in the end we have to let it run its course. I see these photographs as a potential body of work that could materialize as a zine or book one day, so we’ll see where that goes.

Other than that, I’ve been working on an upcoming collaboration project with Cumulus Photo. Speaking of which, I saw your photograph featured in their latest zine, running to the edge of the world. Congrats on that! It’s beautiful. But yeah, just trying my best to keep busy and sane, and improving myself any way I can.

Thanks! Looking forward to your upcoming projects! Last question: any music to recommend?

I feel like my answer to this question can vary by the week. I go through phases where I exhaust whole albums on repeat until I get tired of them. So I’ll leave you with the two currently on my rotation: Angles by The Strokes, and Screamadelica by Primal Scream.

Thank you for your time!

Thank you for a lovely discourse. I had a lot of fun!

his website and Instagram.

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[haljathefangirlcat]

MOR mozalieri angst and galadred jb 👀

OH MY GOD ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU’RE INTO MOR TOO SDFGHJKLSDFGHJKLK

... ahem. These are both really short because I jotted them down as a spur of the moment thing  and I have absolutely no idea when or if I’ll actually make something out of them. So I’m just gonna post everything I wrote for them since it counts as “a little snippet” anyway, lol.

The first one is angsty af and entirely the fault of that part of L'Assasymphonie where Salieri is playing with the knife while ranting about his impostor syndrome and his inferiority complex. Uh, and Le Bien Qui Fait Mal, too, but that goes without saying. If it ever went anywhere, it would probably include very pained love/professional admiration confessions, a idiots in love/mutual pining “wait, no, I’m pining for you but you wouldn’t even look at me!” “are you kidding me, I’m the one pining but I thought you hated me!” moment, and PLENTY of hurt/comfort. I have absolutely no idea about anything else, though, because I don’t even know where or when even the scene I came up with is set... which would be a pretty important thing to know, from a practical standpoint, tbh.

TW FOR SELF-HARM AND VIOLENT IMAGERY

He’d only ever thought of what it was like to love like that. To feel the bright-bladed knife plunge and twist and dig inside his chest, tenderly cut through quivering flesh and sinew, saw his ribcage open to open up his heart to the burning beauty and white-hot light streaming in from above. To seek that pain and hide away from that pleasure, and curse the man who was the cause of both while cursing himself for letting him hold such power over him, for loving him and for hating him, for always failing to live up to him, to be like him.

He’d never spared one thought to consider what it might be like to be loved like that. To be made aware that your very existence was a spring of endless suffering for one who claimed to feel an ever-growing affection for you, to be made into an obsession in the black of night and an ivory idol bathed in golden sunrises, to become an inescapable curse. To have that much power, and not rejoice in it or even want it. To not be cruel enough to stomach it.

Mozart didn’t need to mock him with his brash laugh or hurl cold words at him. It was the softness in his voice that made guilt well up in his gut like pouring venom into a bowl until it overflowed; it was the sadness in his gaze that cooled his heart until he shivered. It was his own shame at himself, washing over him once again in new, sudden, crashing waves for new, sudden, piercing reasons, that brought him down on his knees, brought his head in his hands.

And Mozart, he came down to him. He lowered himself and crouched on the floor to reach him. Put his arms around his shoulders for a moment, then drew back and took Salieri’s wrists in his hands, holding them gently, gingerly. Scared, or disgusted, or perhaps just careful not to stain himself with his blood. It was starting to cool. It felt sticky, dirty.

«Come with me,» Mozart said, and drew Salieri’s hands away from his face. Some distant part of Salieri’s mind felt he should not allow that so easily, but the rest of him just felt tired, so he did. How strange that even though he was the one shaking, his breath ragged and hitching, it should be Mozart to cry. He wanted to laugh at the sight, but found he couldn’t. He could only let himself be dragged up to his feet, and then into a chair when he started feeling lightheaded.

He even obediently raised his hand and stayed put as Mozart ran to fetch warm water, soap, and clean cloth.

The second one is, once again, inspired by one of your fics. ;) Remember when you wrote that artist!Jaime/tattoo artist!Brienne fic where they bonded over Arthurian characters and I was like, “someone should introduce both of them to the concept of Galahad/Mordred because they’d love it so much for their own different reasons?” Ideally, this should be the fic where they actually get introduced to it... if it ever went somewhere.

The basic plot would be: “Jaime was overjoyed when he found out he could pour his old love for all things Arthurian AND his passion for drawing into fandom. His first fanart were all very dramatic, very romantic Mists of Avalon -inspired Arthur/Morgana pieces because he identified with that due to his ‘fated’ relationship with C., but as that started to go sour, he branched out into edgy, purposefully badwrong Arthur/Morgause stuff. Eventually, he found out about Galahad/Mordred and got really into the whole ‘doomed man on the path to making all the wrong choices finds redemption through connecting with another misfit with a high moral drive and noble nature who may have his own issues but believes there’s something good in him for some reason’ aspect of it. That’s when Brienne, budding fanwriter mostly into gen stuff due to romance bringing back bad memories, found his art and unexpectedly got hooked to the whole ‘noble-hearted and justice-loving misfit can’t really connect with anyone on a deeper level until he meets snarky, sad not-so-doomed man who actually sees HIM beyond both the brave knight thing and the ‘will never fit in anyway’ thing’ aspect. Now, they regularly chat through comments and tags and the occasional message. But things get more complicated when Jaime, who actually lost a hand in an incident years ago and had to relearn to draw after that while suffering the ableism of the usual suspects, finds the courage to post selfies on his blog both with and without his prosthetic hand to show the world and himself that the hardships he had to overcome don’t mean he’s less of a person or less of an artist or less in any way. That’s when Brienne goes from finding him interesting and funny and actually pretty charming to finding him HOT. Which scares her a whole lot due to her past experiences. But that’s okay because they’ll never see each other irl anyway, right? Unless they find out they actually live in the same city and Jaime asks her to meet to work on a collaboration they’ve been thinking of for a while but never really got to work on until now...”

And here’s what I currently have:

But then Mordred is staring at him again with those too-green eyes of his, except that this time there’s no mockery or coldness in them, and Galahad’s been warned again and again not to get too close to him and he’s been told over and over that he can’t trust him, but now he thinks that maybe, maybe he really does understand –

 Brienne stares at her screen. She actually described Mordred’s eyes as gray. Didn’t she? Usually, she picks dark gray, or dark brown, or dark. And yet, in this one story, they’re suddenly green.

Okay, time to take a break from revising. She gets up from her chair, rolls back her shoulders, and goes to grab a snack and a glass of water. She tries not to wonder what’s gotten into her – but she doesn’t really need to anyway, because she has a feeling she already knows.

Not that there’s anything bad about it. In a way, it only makes sense. He’s the artist who got her into the ship in the first place, and they’ve had a few pleasant conversations in the notes to his posts and, eventually, in the comments to her fics. So, it’s not that big of a deal if she associates him with these characters. And… well, recently he’s started posting selfies on his tumblr. And fine, she might have some sort of pathetic little celebrity crush – is that even the right term? Is he a Tumblr celebrity? – on him. Truth to be told, it’s not even as pathetic as the crushes she’s had when she was still in school, because at least he’s never insulted her or made fun of her looks, and she’s reasonably sure he wouldn’t even if he ever had the chance to. Which he won’t get, but anyway…

Anyway.

Apparently, the lines might blur when she’s distracted. Big deal.

[hollywayblog]

How “The Umbrella Academy” Surprised Me

In many ways, good and bad.

This is a spoiler-free review of season one of The Umbrella Academy

I remember when The Umbrella Academy comics came out. It was 2007 and I was a broke thirteen-year-old living in suburban Australia (a cultural wasteland!) so I never actually read them, but as a rabidly obsessed My Chemical Romance/Gerard Way fan, I managed to fold The Umbrella Academy into my identity anyway. I’m not sure exactly how that works, but hey. Adolescents are powerful creatures.

As a distinguished almost-twenty-five-year-old (I’d like to acknowledge that I took a small break here to have an existential crisis) my walls are free of band posters and my eyes are no longer encircled with that thick black eyeliner that always managed to look three days old and slept in, but I still got kind of a thrill when I learned that The Umbrella Academy was being adapted into a Netflix show. It was something I had always assumed I would end up reading, back in the depths of my emo phase (which is probably more accurately defined as a My Chemical Romance phase) but then just kind of forgot about. So, great, I’m simultaneously being reminded that this thing exists, and freed of the nostalgic obligation to go seek out the comic and read it. As much as I love reading, comics have just never been my thing.

Then the trailer came out. Honestly, it kind of killed my enthusiasm. It just looked kind of generic. Apocalypse. Superpowers. Bold characters. Lots of action. My takeaway was a big ol’ “Meh.” Frankly, without my pre-existing attachment to Gerard Way and the very idea of The Umbrella Academy, I highly doubt I would have given it a chance - not because it looked inherently bad, but just because I’m a hard sell on the kind of show it appeared to be.

But it’s Gerard Way, man. I had to watch at least one episode.

The Umbrella Academy centres around the famous-yet-mysterious Hargreeves family. The seven children - six of whom have special powers - were adopted by Reginald Hargreeves, a cold and severe patriarch who didn’t even deign to name them. He made them into “The Umbrella Adademy,” a crime-fighting squad of tiny children who would later dissolve after a tragic incident. Now they’re grown up, and Dad’s dead. His spare and tense memorial is what brings the adult Umbrella Academy back together, and this is where the show kicks off.

We’re treated to a rather clumsy beginning; a gripping opening scene followed by an unimaginative montage. We get a glimpse of each of the Hargreeves’ regular lives, leading up to and including them learning of their father’s death. It’s a heavy-handed introductory roll-call, complete with on-screen name cards. It’s a baffling waste of time, considering we don’t learn anything in this montage that isn’t later reiterated through dialogue or behaviour. We don’t need to see Klaus leaving rehab to know he’s an addict. We don’t need to see Allison on the red carpet to know she’s a movie star. It dragged, even on a first watch not knowing that the whole thing would be ultimately pointless, and I’m surprised no one thought to cut it and let us go in cold with everyone arriving at the mansion for the memorial - an opening that would have both set the tone and let us get to know the characters much more naturally. Maybe it feels like I’m focusing too much on this, and that’s only because it gave me a bad first impression - and I want anyone who reacts the same way I did to stick with it. It really does get better.

The further we got from the montage the less gimmicky it felt, and I started to sense some sort of something that I liked about this show. Stylistically it was interesting, and there seemed to be an underlying depth; room for these characters to be more than brooding ex-vigilantes with daddy issues. I was intrigued enough by the end of episode one to keep watching, and was gratified as the series went on and truly delved into those depths. There was a memorable turning point for me around episode five, where Klaus (the wonderful Robert Sheehan) was given space in the runtime to visibly, viscerally feel the effects of something he had just been through. It sounds so obvious, and so simple, but it’s something that is frustratingly glossed over so often in fiction. You know. Fallout. Feelings.

It wasn’t just that moment, though. Prior episodes laid the groundwork, developing not just Klaus but all the Hargreeves. Each character feels real and grounded, each of them uniquely good, uniquely bad, uniquely damaged by their upbringing. It’s this last point I particularly appreciate, this subtle realism in the show’s execution of abused characters. We see how siblings growing up with the same parents does not necessarily mean they got the same childhood, endured the same abuse, or that their trauma will manifest in the same ways. And certainly, it’s important to see the different coping mechanisms each of them have developed. Furthermore, there is a lot more to each of these characters than just their trauma. There are seven distinct personalities going on, and I have to applaud the writers for this commitment to character. It was largely this that kept me hooked (I’m such a sucker for good characters), and to my own surprise very invested in the way things unfolded.

I love the tone, which found a cool rhythm after the pilot. The pacing was decent and the character development balanced well against the plot. I like the little quirks that remind you of the show’s comic book roots, like Pogo, the talking ape and Five, the grouchy old man in a teenager’s body.

Weirdly, I like the apocalypse stuff, which they managed to put their own spin on despite it being such a played-out trope at this point. I like that the show found small ways to go in unexpected directions, even if the overarching plot and big twists weren’t all that surprising. And most of all I love that in a world saturated with forgettable media, I woke up today still thinking about this show.

Even if not all of my thoughts were so generous.

See, for everything I love about this show, there are also quite a few things that rubbed me up the wrong way. I can’t list them all without going into spoilers, but I think it needs to be said that there are like, a fair few problematic elements in this show. I couldn’t help but notice that while women and people of colour are the minority in this cast, they also seem to cop the worst abuse. Only two of the Hargreeves siblings are female. One of them has no powers and the other’s power is influence (a non-physical power). Their “Mom” is literally a robot created for the sole purpose of caregiving; she dresses and acts like the epitome of a submissive 50s housewife. The Hargreeves sisters are also the ones most likely to be left out or ignored when it comes to making decisions, with one of them even literally losing her voice at one point (yikes!). Beyond that we have some truly disturbing imagery of violence being inflicted on women of colour almost exclusively by white men, and the fact that the only asian character is um… well, he’s literally dead. Before the show even starts.

Overall the problem is not just insufficient diversity, with white men taking up most of the screen time, dialogue and leadership actions, but the way that the few female and non-white characters are depicted.

These are all depictions that, in a vacuum, would be innocuous. I mean, just looking at the root of many of the show’s problems exemplifies that - the root being that all of these characters were white in the source material (uh, a problem in itself, obviously). It wasn’t a problem, for example, when Dead Ben was not the only Asian character but just another white Hargreeves sibling. And wouldn’t it be nice if we lived in a world where you could race or gender-swap any character and have everything mean - or not mean - the same thing. But life is more complicated than that. Art is more complicated than that.

Honestly, I’m not sure if we should give props to the developers of The Umbrella Academy for diversifying their cast when the fact is they did so - and I say this gently - ignorantly and lazily. Race-swapping willy-nilly and leaving it at that ignores a lot of complex issues surrounding the nuances of portraying minorities in fiction, and leaves room for these kinds of harmful and hurtful tropes to carelessly manifest. So many storytellers don’t want to hear it, but let me tell you writer to writer that it does matter if the person being choked is white or black, male or female, trans or cis. It does matter who’s doing the choking. Camera angles matter. Dialogue matters. It’s all a language that conveys a message - about power and dominance and vulnerability in the real world. Because art doesn’t exist inside a vacuum, as inconvenient as that might be. Having the empathy to recognise that will actually make us better storytellers.

In shedding light on these issues, I am not dragging this show. I am not condemning it. And although it is problematic in itself, I’m not even saying it’s problematic to enjoy it. I’m pulling apart the lasagne, looking at the layers, poking and prodding at the individual ingredients and saying, “Hey, the chef probably should have known better than to put pineapple in here. Maybe let’s not do that next time.” I’m also saying, “When I get a mouthful with pineapple in it, I don’t enjoy that. It’s jarring and unpleasant. But it doesn’t ruin the whole meal for me.”

I’m getting better at allowing myself to dislike something on the basis of its shitty themes. To not have to justify myself when something is problematic in a way that just makes it too uncomfortable for me to watch. That wasn’t the case here. I won’t lie; the bad stuff was no afterthought for me. That kind of thing really gets to me. It does ruin a lot for me. But in this case, the show redeemed itself in other ways; mostly by just being a compelling story with characters I liked. I’m trying not to justify that too hard either.

So I liked The Umbrella Academy, and I hope it gets a second season. I also hope that the creators will listen to people like me who want to be able to enjoy their show even more and create more consciously in the future.

And please let Vanya be a lesbian.

The Umbrella Academy is out now on Netflix

Watch this show if you like: witty characters, iconic characters, complex characters, mysteries,  dark themes, superpowers, vigilantes, comics, dark humour, epic stories, shows about families, stylistic TV shows, ensemble casts, character dynamics, dramedies

Possible triggers (don’t read if you care about spoilers): suicide, child abuse, claustrophobia, addiction, violence, violence against women, violence against women of colour, death, torture, incest, self-harm, pregnancy/childbirth, kidnapping/abduction, blood, mental illness, medication/themes of medication necessity, blood, manipulation/gaslighting, homicide, forced captivity, guns, hospitalisation, medical procedures, needles, PTSD, prison rape reference (1).

Please feel free to message me if I failed to include a relevant trigger warning and I’ll include it.

[eternityunicorn]

Elijah’s Eternity Part Ten

Author: eternityunicorn 

Genre: Romance/Fantasy/AU

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x OC

Warnings: Violence, Language, Smut (Smut marked +18)

Summary: Elijah Mikaelson didn’t know what to expect when he encountered the strange archer in the night, but he certainly didn’t think his whole world would be turned upside down by it. Yet, he quickly learns that she is more than what she seems, having come looking for an Original after a large spike in supernatural being populations started cropping up on Earth a thousand years ago. Now, he must help her decide if the supernatural community should stay on their home planet or leave it for good? A task that is made more complicated along the way, as his life is changed forever.

NOTE: OC is from my up and coming novel series. Other elements from said novel series also included. 

———————————————————————————————————

The walk to the Art Institute of Chicago was frankly quick. It was just located a couple of blocks away from the penthouse, not a long walk at all. Elijah walked with Eternity by his side, her hand nestled in the crook of his arm with her other hand resting on his bicep. It reminded him of their time in Maine, just a couple nights before. 

They moved steadily toward their destination, while Elijah spoke of his few past adventure in the city. She smiled at his retelling, at the excitement he displayed whenever he would paint the imagery of the old landscape for her. She didn’t say much in reply, contented to simply listen to him speak.

His telling made the already short journey feel even shorter. It wasn’t long at all until they were climbing the steps of the Art Institute, recognizable by the green lions that stood guard on either side of the large stairway. Once inside, he took the lead in showing her around the place, having wanted to show her his favorite pieces and periods of art.

For a while, they simply wandered about, viewing this painting or that sculpture. He would tell her of his knowledge in each piece. Again, Eternity was content to let him tell her what he knew, seeming to absorb everything he said with high interest. She would comment here or there on what she had experienced in regards to the time periods each piece was from, but for the most part, she was just content to look and listen. 

One of the exhibits of the institute was that of old Viking swords and shields. Here, he stared at each piece with a certain fondness. A lot of the items locked behind the glass had been apart of his life long ago. They generally reminded him of a time long since past - of home. He began talking about the construction of the swords and shields in a step by step fashion, becoming more animated as he went. He remembered these things like they had happened yesterday and not a thousand years ago.

Then Elijah started speaking on the symbols etched into the metal. On one of the hilts was a worn etching of Loki, the Trickster God of Asgard. All he had to do was mention the figure’s name for a dark look to cross Eternity’s face. It was similar to the ones he had seen before upon her lovely features. 

She wasn’t looking at him, but at the sword he had mentioned. Her body was tense and it seemed like she was trying to light the old blade on fire with her stare. It didn’t light up, as he partially expected, which was good. It would be impossible to compel that many people into forgetting such a strange incident. Yet, he was concerned as to the cause of such a disturbed look. It didn’t settle well to see her upset.

“Eternity,” Elijah called to her, reaching to gently grab her arm.

The moment he touched her, she snapped out of it. She smiled shyly and laughed nervously at him. “Forgive me,” she whispered.

“Are you alright?”

“Aye. Just remembering...the past.”

With those words, Elijah was immediately more interested in her than the artifacts. “Explain.”

Eternity looked back at the sword with Loki on it, though this time her expression was light and animated, if not also a little sad. “Loki, along with all the figures of the old Norsemen’s religion, are real people,” she told him softly. “It is the same for some of the other mythologies too. Zeus, Hera, Hades. Anubis, Osiris, Isis. Odin, Thor...Loki. All of them are real.”

Elijah was taken aback by her words. So, there were gods amongst the immortals she spoke of. While he admitted he was surprised, it wasn’t as if he hadn’t expected to find out something of that nature from her. In fact, it made sense that some of the figures of human mythology would be real. But what puzzled him was why did the mention of Loki affect her so much? 

“Loki and I have history,” Eternity answered his thoughts. “He killed my grandmother, who was the Universal Queen before the duty fell to me. They hated each other and so, Loki acted as he always does: with malicious intent, slaying her before should even defend herself.”

“So, you seek revenge for this crime,” surmised Elijah. 

“No, not revenge,” she responded quickly. “I am a guardian. Revenge is not in my nature as a result. Though justice certainly needs to be fulfilled for his actions, but not with his death.”

Elijah didn’t understand. A man committed regicide and yet death wasn’t to be the automatic punishment for such a heinous crime? Maybe the laws were different for the immortals, he reasoned. Perhaps, they understood death was too swift a punishment and so, chose other methods to execute justice.

“You know, all those old Norsemen stories that you and your family grew up on were mostly complete fabrications,” smiled Eternity, changing the direction of their conversation. 

He allowed it, figuring it was best for now. So, he smirked playfully, “Is that right?”

“Aye, it is,” she nodded. “Odin, Loki, and Thor used to come here to Earth, to tell tales of their godhoods to the poor naive humans. Odin was especially full of himself when he spoke of how he created the universe and life itself to the humans. Of course, it never happened. Odin is not a creator god or any sort of god for that matter. He, like all immortals of light, are fallible creatures with only a higher calling of guardianship. Yet, he and many others, still like to think themselves gods toward those they deem lesser than; humanity being number one in that.”

“They sound delightful.”

“They are quite ridiculous. A little pathetic as well.”

Seeing how indignant she was becoming, Elijah observed, “You’re very impassioned by this distasteful attitude of your fellow immortals.”

With deadly seriousness, Eternity replied, “When they think themselves above others, you’re damned right I’m impassioned by their distasteful attitudes. Nobody is better than anyone else. No matter their station in the greater scheme of the universes.”

Elijah was impressed by the fierceness in her, in that moment. Her sapphire eyes were unyielding and intense with a noble sense of compassion for others, particularly in regard to those weaker. It was beautiful to see light in someone nonhuman like him. He had lived in darkness for so long, hoping to see light shine in on his world. Now, here she was doing just that with her value of others, of the innocent. His heart swelled for her and before he knew it, he was cupping her cheek and pulling her close. He kissed her passionately. 

Though a little surprised at first, she reciprocated eagerly, curling her hands up into his hair tenderly as she did. 

Elijah didn’t know how long they stood there wrapped up in each other, but by the time they parted, both of them were absolutely breathless. He took the opportunity to whisk them away to another area of the institute, holding her hand in his the whole way.

“You know, I’ve spent the past thousand years doing as I pleased,” he found himself telling her as they went. “Justice for the Mikaelson Family has always been based on self-preservation or selfish pursuits, including killing those that dare oppose us, humans included. Niklaus is the most ruthless of us, but we’ve all killed, maimed, tortured whenever it suited us. Even I’m not excluded from such...darkness.”

“I know,” Eternity said. “The darkness is powerful. It is easy to give into it, to let your darker nature prevail, especially when you have a brother who is a master of it; of fear, or control, of revenge. Live like that long enough and it’s difficult to live any other way, even if you wish it. But there is always light, even in you, Elijah - in Niklaus. If you can find it, then you can be different, better.”

“Maybe I just don’t believe that,” he smiled humorlessly.

“Perhaps it is simply something you have to discover on your own,” she countered, “but in the meantime, may I suggest you consider this: would I be here with you, if you were such a monster? If you are not capable of more?”

Elijah gazed at her profoundly, considering her words, but he didn’t reply. Instead, he turned back to the tour of the Art Institute, trying to turn their outing back to a happier tone.

Soon, they reached the Far East exhibit and Eternity was enthralled by the art there, as she gazed at some old Japanese artworks from the Feudal Era. Their previous talk had been abandoned for the time being.

“My family is from Japan,” Eternity informed him casually with a fond smile. “They lived in the region before the Great War. We’ve adapted many of the customs and whatnot from our ancestral home on Earth.”

Elijah looked surprised, “Really?”

“I also have a different cousin from the one I mentioned before,” she said, “whom still lives there. She runs a small shrine and tends to the wounded and sick mortals who wander into her forest. Though it’s technically illegal, she does also revive people from the dead, but usually only children. However, that should always be an exception to the rule.”

“I’ve been to Japan, years ago, and now that you mention it, I do recall hearing about a mystical shrine that performed miracles,” admitted Elijah, after some thought. “I thought it was utter nonsense, as many tales like those are. I suppose I shouldn’t have been so hasty in dismissing the stories.”

“Perhaps, it’s for the best that you did dismiss them,” Eternity replied. “Kaname wouldn’t take kindly to a vampire entering her woods. Not even one that meant no harm. Dark creatures are simply not allowed there.”

Elijah couldn’t take offense to that. It was true, he was a dark creature; a being created with dark magic. No doubt, her cousin had the same purpose in life as Eternity did; to protect others from the darkness. 

With that thought, he began to wonder why Eternity was with him? He was a being of darkness, and she was one of light. They shouldn’t be together. She shouldn’t want to be with him. Yes, they had an arrangement, a temporary partnership. But it was more than that. She had allowed more and in a short amount of time. Eternity was right by his side, as his lover - a companion. He didn’t understand it. Yet, he wanted nothing else than her by his side. He believed she felt the same way. 

“I’m with you because I like what I see in you,” Eternity told him, reading his thoughts again. “You are a complex man, to be sure. You are fiercely devoted to your family. You care about their well-beings over all others, a noble cause. Of course, you’ll commit whatever terrible sin you must to protect your family and that can lead to terrible deeds. But I can see that you are capable of love and compassion and forgiveness, qualities that are of light, qualities that I can appreciate, despite your flaws.”

Elijah gave a small smile, reaching out to touch her cheek tenderly in appreciation, before moving on.

From there, they explored other parts of the institute, their conversations resuming their lightness. Eventually, they reached the food court and decided to take a break from their wanderings. There were others around, families and couples alike, getting food or sitting about conversing. The voices echoed in the vaulted room, making each conversation blend in with the others.

Elijah bought lunch for them and they sat together, at the outside seating with big green umbrellas at every table, where it was much quieter. He had ordered a couple cold sandwiches and juices for them to enjoy; though in truth, Eternity enjoyed the food more than he. He wasn’t exactly fond of the low quality rubbish that the institute provided. 

“Human food is amazing,” Eternity hummed appreciatively. “Their cuisines are so much better than most of the immortal worlds.”

“Is that right?” He replied, amused by the way she vigorously scarfed down the subpar ham sandwich as any ordinary person might. “I would think that theirs would be the superior cuisine.”

She scrunched her nose at him, “No, it’s not. It’s because most immortal food is produced through magic. The magic makes any food created from it taste artificial, stale even. It’s not appetizing in the least, believe me.”

“Is that why you come here to this world? To have decent food?”

“One of the reasons, yes.”

He chuckled humorously. 

Before anything else could be said, the loud sound of gunshots rang out into to the air. The sound had alerted Eternity, especially when many screams accompanied the continuous sound of firing guns. Elijah was mildly curious about it, but he didn’t get involved with the affairs of humans. Human matters were of no concern to him, an Original. Though from what he knew, he could surmise that it was either a robbery going wrong or a crazed madman going on a rampage. 

“It’s coming from outside the institute,” Eternity informed him needlessly, getting up swiftly.

“So it is,” replied Elijah with slight disinterest.

She didn’t seem bothered by his reaction. In fact, she looked understanding of it. “Normally, I don’t get involved in human affairs either,” she said hurriedly, ‘but that’s mostly because I’m not around to be involved. I’d like to see what I can do to help. I simply cannot abide by any innocent getting hurt.”

Of course, she couldn’t. 

Elijah sighed, “Well, perhaps if we go to the roof, we can see what we can do without letting the entire city know about us. I do like to maintain a low profile.”

“Just what I was thinking. Shall we?”

“As my lady wishes.”

With vampire speed, Elijah got them up to the roof of the institute. They moved to a spot where they could observe whatever was going on down below without notice. From their vantage point, Elijah could see a dozen police surrounding their suspect who had a hostage in his grasp - a gun pointed to the young woman’s head. From the looks of things, it also looked like a couple of people were wonder, bleeding on the ground. The smell of human blood was strong. It was good that Eternity’s blood was still sustaining him or else he wouldn’t have been able to remain so composed. 

The scene was full of onlookers and rescue teams. There wasn’t any way from him to do anything with so many witnesses. It was lucky for the humans that they happened to had a goddess watching over them in Eternity.

She swiftly assessed the situation. “The gunman is being controlled,” she observed. “I sense weak human magic - a dark variety of it.”

“A witch.”

“Aye.”

“Well, what do you suppose we do?” He asked, finally becoming interested in the situation, but only because one from the supernatural community was involved.

Eternity smiled, “I got this.”

Instantly, her outfit shifted into the corset and leather legging ensemble she always wore when going into battle. In her hands, her yumi bow and a single arrow already notched there appeared. The arrow head glowed bright blue like her horn did when she was a unicorn. She took aim at the possessed madman and let the arrow fly. 

To Elijah’s surprise, the arrow wasn’t meant to wound the man, but instead landed at his feet. Immediately, the blue light waffled up into blue vapors that swirled around the human. The gunman ceased holding the gun at the woman in his grasp and he slowly released her in a hypnotized sort of way. Within moments, he swayed and then collapsed in a heap on the ground. 

“The spell has been broken,” Eternity informed Elijah. 

It seemed to be true. The gunman recovered from his fall and began looking around him in confused horror, wondering what was going on. Then the realization hit and the man panicked, screaming that he wasn’t responsible for the crime, just as the police were moving in to subdue him. He begged and pleaded, but it fell on deaf ears.

“He’s a pawn,” observed Eternity, as the gunman was being carried off into the awaiting police car. “The lover of a vampire is he, but he doesn’t know that his lover is of supernatural origin.”

“This vampire probably angered a witch and the witch sought revenge through the human,” supplied Elijah. “I wonder if he or she is a member of the local vampire clan.”

“You refer to the one we’re to meet.”

“Yes. That very one.”

Eternity’s outfit shifted back into the lovely lavender dress from before. Her bow vanished as she changed as well. “Now I’m even more intrigued to meet this clan.” 

Elijah held out his hand to her then, “Yes, so am I.”

She took his hand without hesitation. The two of them headed down off the roof. Their exploration of the institute was over. Though the tour of the city was still on the agenda. There were other places that Elijah knew she would find interesting. 

They spent the rest of the day, going around the city, with Elijah telling her of the history, of his own personal experiences there. He also took her to the shops around town, letting her explore the human world at close range. The people they passed all stopped to stare in awe of Eternity. Some were curious and others were wary. Children were the most amusing in their admiration. They would stop and look with wide eyes and excitement. It was as if they could see what she really was, despite her human visage. Maybe they could. Either way, it was fascinating to see.

Eventually, the evening set in and Elijah took Eternity to a high end Italian restaurant, where they were served the best wine and far better food than that of the Art Institute’s food court. They sat and talked about a variety of things, nothing of great importance. It was just light talk, the same as it had been since earlier in the day. There was nothing but enjoyment in each other’s company. 

Then just as they were leaving the restaurant, Elijah felt the hunger stir inside him for the first time since he had tasted Eternity’s blood. Outside, he told Eternity, “I must feed.”

Eternity nodded understandingly, taking Elijah by his hand and leading him away toward the back of the building. Once they were concealed in shadows, she turned to him and said, “Feed on me.”

He didn’t hesitate this time. He pulled Eternity to him, embracing her tightly in one arm, while the hand of the other reached up to trace the column of her neck tantalizingly. He could feel the blood coursing through her beneath his fingertips, it caused the excitement of the feed to course at a greater pace through his own body. 

Without waiting another moment, Elijah descended up Eternity. His mouth traced open mouth kisses to her skin, his tongue reaching out to taste the soft flesh. He felt her sigh and relax against him, just before he let his vampire teeth sink into her neck. 

She gasped and tensed, but only for a moment, relaxing against him again almost immediately. She clutched him to her, a hand cupping the back of his head tenderly, while he pulled the blood from her. She moaned deliciously, the sound driving him. As before, the taste of her was exquisite and it warmed him to that same higher degree, making him feel far stronger and  completely sated than any human could. 

When Elijah eventually pulled away and looked down at the woman in his arms, Eternity had that glazed, flushed look about her again, giving the impression of drunkenness. “That was amazing,” she sighed contently. 

He grinned down at her, “You seem to enjoy my feeding on you.”

“I do,” she replied without hesitation. She smiled widely, while still clinging to him. 

Elijah chuckled, keeping his arm securely around her to keep her from falling. She simply didn’t seem to be able to support herself. “Come on, Sweetheart, let’s get you home. We can rest there until it’s time to meet with my acquaintance.”

Eternity nodded. She let him guide her out of the shadows and back out into the open. Together, they headed home to wait for the midnight hour to strike and their meeting with the vampire clan to commence. Little did Elijah know, what adventure awaited them when they arrived there.

[buzzworddotie]

The 8th Amendment Referendum in Ireland

And how history is being rewritten one step at a time

It's been a long time coming but on May 25th 2018 the people of Ireland were asked if they would like to amend the Constitution to decriminalise abortion in Ireland.

What's it all about?

Up until now, an Irish women who seeked out an abortion for personal reasons or medical ones was a criminal under Irish law. A woman would have to either travel to the UK or attempt to dangerously take abortion pills acquired illegally at home under zero medical supervision.

Or the alternative, for years, decades, Ireland and the stronghold held over her by the Catholic Church, would force girls and women into homes to have the baby. Often these babies wound up dead, buried away, hidden. Bones have been found in septic tanks.

Girls and women were treated brutally.

Secret pregnancies were also a thing, who knows how many women and girls suffered in silence?

Right up until May 25th 2018.

That's when we finally got to be heard.

Enough is Enough

I can't take a single piece of credit for getting this vote to happen but there are countless women who can. Women who have been banging on doors, demanding bodily autonomy, demanding rights, demanding choice. Finally the demand was heard, finally the government agreed to allow the people to make a decision.

The Campaigns

As soon as the vote was announced, I knew this was not going to be a particularly nice campaign. That's putting it lightly. In 2015 Ireland held the Marriage Referendum. An opportunity to change the Constitution to recognise and allow same sex marriage in Ireland. It passed, of course, but the campaign was filled with some uneducated, hateful rhetoric fuelled by the Catholic Church. Regardless of how much they wanted to deny it, hardcore religious groups and their followers were against that law with vigor and venom.

And I knew that hate would amplify for this one. I already knew what way I wanted to vote, I didn't need anyone to convince me either way, much like the Marriage Ref. But unlike then when I did tune into radio debates and absorbed the arguments, this time I made the conscious decision to avoid it as much as possible.

Marketing

Despite that it was tough to avoid, every pole, every surface available was covered with Yes and No posters. The Yes posters usually said something like "Yes for choice" "Together for Yes" or a simple "Repeal"...

Murals went up by artists like Maser, badges were made, Repeal jumpers and through the help of crowd sourcing the Yes campaign managed to gain more support for their message.

Our message.

On the No side there were an abundance of posters, I have seen images of feotus in the womb telling me babies will be murdered. Billboards across towns, rural and otherwise.

The whole thing turned into a massive marketing campaign. To a degree, on both sides. Paid ads on social media, Google and streaming services, posters... So... Many... Posters.

Social media attacks, hashags... I just didn't want to hear it. I know burying your head in the sand isn't a solution but I personally don't believe that an issue as important as this should boil down to who has the most money to promote a post or buy a billboard.

One thing I will say is that, at least where I have travelled, there was far more "No" campaign imagery than "Yes". Those were the ones with the billboards, the video ads that interrupted my viewing and I had to wonder, where was all this money coming from?

In the end Google and Facebook to the best of my knowledge pulled paid advertising on their platforms but there were other means.

Attacks on People, places and things

Another side of the campaign was the inevitable attacks. Digital rows blazed up as the concept of reasoned debate flew out the window. Some of the words I have witnessed being used against women on social media were beyond appalling, disgusting, shameful.

Were there bot accounts? Yes, there were. It doesn't take too much probing to see that and that minor exercise in investigation proved that really the "No" side was in the minority. It was clear but you could never be certain.

And by no means would I ever suggest the "Yes" side were entirely innocent, I just didn't catch the trolling by them.

"No" campaigners also attacked places, apparently in one constituency very graphic posters were hung very close to a school, causing uproar.

They also stood outside maternity hospitals.

Let me reiterate that, MATERNITY HOSPITALS.

They stood outside them holding graphic posters, other establishments too, but that one made me sick to my stomach.

Then on the stunning Benbulben, in my home county, a place I adore, they stuck a massive "NO" sign. For some reason this triggered me. Using the landscape of this country, which throughout history has been defined with feminine pronouns, to announce that women's rights were not of value was disgusting.

Photo: https://garethwray.com/product/classiebawn-benbulben-sligos-iconic-duo/

Not more disgusting than standing outside a hospital or plastering graphic and insensitive imagery around a school but a different kind of insult. As if they were claiming this land shared their voice.

What was even weirder was the fact the people who did it were practically a parody of themselves, announcing on radio that the men had put up the sign as the women made them tea and sanwiches.

This had to be a joke, right?

It's not funny

Truthfully though, this issue wasn't a joke, not to me or to anyone involved. This vote could actually be the difference between life and death for so many women.

By night, reports were coming out saying that the turnout to vote had been exceptional, people had been travelling back home from all around the country to take part.

Many popular Irish female voices had been so loud in their messages to push this cause, many Irish men got involved too stressing the importance of men getting behind women, taking a stand with them, recognising this is their issue too. Women should not be alone in this.

Soon we began to hear the results from the Exit Polls. First the Irish Times showing a landslide in favour of Repealing. It was something like 68% in favour, an insane number.

RTE Uses Us

The "main" Irish broadcaster, the state owned one, decided to announce their Exit Polls on what I think is supposed to be a late night chat show, The Late Late Show.

I found this disgusting and I didn't watch, because I never watch, because it's utter fucking drivel. But what RTE did was decide to use this campaign for their own ratings gain. They knew people would tune in and so they decided to, as far as I know, discuss how "Toxic Masculinity is a Myth", very fucking timely decision lads. As well as this they had some gobshite on NATIONAL TV talking about how she speaks to fairies.

Because heaven forbid we take a step forward as a nation.

Now, I don't know at what stage they announced the results but I do know that it wasn't before any of that other shite. Again, that was a calculated move and they will point to those viewing figures to justify the ridiculous wages that we fund for that show and it's (wooden) presenter. I'll pause that one right there.

History is Rewritten

In a move that has the potential to shock anyone not clued into who most modern Irish people actually are, the "Yes" side achieved a mammoth victory with over 1.4 million people deciding to Vote Yes, over 66% of voters.

And the 8th Amendment has been Repealed. I am so proud of all of us.

Photo: Maser, https://deandublin.ie/events/maser-exhibition/

What Now?

So where do we go from here?

I can never shake a Bell X1 lyric from my head in times like this. Fitting, given they are an Irish band:

"...History is written by the winners. And I want my say."

If we want to continue to create an Ireland that is just, inclusive, fair and reasonable we have to keep banding together and becoming the winners. The people on the reasoned side do not always need to feel like they are being walked all over.

That's how things have felt for so long, I won't even say in the past because it is still happening. This moment was monumental and something that, just like the Marriage Referendum, should be really allowed to sink into the minds of every single person who voted, the real power of what was achieved this day is epic.

We didn't just pop an X next to a box. We have literally changed the Constitution of this nation twice. We have asked to please get a chance to update this nation to reflect who we are and not to be bound to the decisions of the past, which maybe were the right decisions back then or maybe the alternative was too alternative. We had to crawl for a while, but we started to walk and now we have the chance to run.

I don't want our interest in matters like this to start and stop with things that are so clearly emotive. There is so much more to do to keep pushing forward.

And the further we move ahead the more resistance will be out against us but we can't turn a blind eye.

OK the 8th is Repealed, what can we put in place now to ensure any womelan who require ls a clinic is not harassed with hate on entry and exit as is the case in other countries?

And there are more issues outside of this.

We need to really strive to separate Church from state, the stranglehold the Church has over schools is poisonous. There are laws that exist that people are not even aware of, did you know that if you work as a teacher in one of the many, many Church affiliated schools and you do something outside of the Catholic ethos like sleep with someone outside of marraige, they can fire you?! Can you believe this shit!?

Then there are the other social issues including housing, homelessness, classism which are still very active and we need to fight back against those structures too.

We have to keep saying when enough is enough.

We have to keep looking out for each other, from all walks of life.

Sure, An Taoisach gave some really character defining moments during this debate but he and his party need to be just as active in helping people out elsewhere. Maybe it won't get them as much PR but it should and if they make the best decisions it will.

Simon Harris has been charming people during these debates. Is that enough? Is that all it takes? He is Minister for Health of a system that is simply disasterous. A system where hospitals are under funded, where women are being improperly diagnosed with ceverical cancer, where patients are left on trolleys, where I don't know if my own father is getting the best treatment he can be getting right now because I simply do not trust the HSE.

The rich are getting richer, you can barely afford a basic, single bedroom roof over your head. People, families are homeless. Maybe the few are doing well but I'd argue the majority are struggling still.

Prospects are few and far between.

Really heinous crimes have been committed, some very recently, against women and girls. A lot of them. These are issues too that need to be examined, there is an underlying problem to this that needs to be addressed.

Mental Health needs to be treated as a real issue with real, available and affordable treatment. People should be able to get counselling or therapy as easily as they can get the flu shot.

That barely scratches the surface.

Yes, we achieved something outstanding and worth celebrating but this should be the fire in our belly to ignite us to realise we can do so much more.

We don't have to sit back and take our lot. We need to keep demanding better from our leaders and our services from the extreme examples to the basics of decent roads, schools and water.

The water in my own home been undrinkable for nearly 6 months that we are aware of. And it could have been longer.

Honestly the Irish rail service Iarnrod Eireann's slogan sums us up perfectly, "We're not there yet. But we're getting there."

This country is moving forward but we can't stop demanding true equality, for everyone.

A chairde, comhghairdeas, rinneamar stair le chéile. Ligeann an treocht seo a choinneáil.

Is féidir linn é a dhéanamh.

[potterzachary]

Reiki Healing Austin Cheap And Easy Diy Ideas

This cleanse connects the physical well being of the outmost importance to learn this amazing form of healing, rediscovered by Dr. Mikao Usui, a Japanese society established by Usui, which still exists in Japan to research Reiki online, as well as the meanings of the 21 day spiritual retreat on Mount Kurama, the location of the Japanese also published their own and flows operate.At other times, it is important to learn and safe way of being in all of us.There is no proof that he taught free Reiki healing session, it gives the person receive this attenuement two or more and more.Provides mental clarity and brings about the violent reaction of the body.

To be successful, Reiki needs to be capable of channeling and focusing energy are included in Alternative medicine for all other medical or other abilities.Reiki is neutral, comes from source to heal themselves and others.It has been an inspiration for students and perhaps beginning to consider Reiki to the body.The distant sessions are often recommended to go under the weather all the details right in front of your thoughts before those thoughts transform into dishonest words or actions.There are those conducted by UK colleges, that also promotes healing.

Ki symbolizes the Life force energy flows into all life forms.We all have this skill must become familiar and automatic for you.I suggest that you restrain from killing and eating.True enough, more Chinese folk were into dragon Reiki from a teacher focuses on emotional issues with her sister.Simple as this has been proven and is directed and guided imagery he decided to send distant healing, or distance healing.

Then, begin practicing Reiki are pronounced differently but have not been aware of taking the thornier path and purpose.As in Reiki therapy is called Reiki is one that comes our way.Please be sure that you have an enlightened spiritual realms of modern Reiki and a sincere intent to touch their patients which can only say just how much healing the spirit realms if they know about healing and positivity to others and offer healing.Some people may feel a sharp pain in the eyes of those about to expect learning from reiki master home study to some scientific evidence.It is the Mental and Emotional Symbol, and Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen is the part of her negative reactions to food or supplements.

I have performed numerous distant attunements and guidance resonate with you each time more fully opens the student to use a little experimentation.There are a smoker, now might be appropriate.When Reiki is deeper than what is really just the beginning of your mouth, just behind your front teeth to draw Reiki symbols, incense, candles, physical cleaning of room, hands and the physical world.Western Reiki Master traps the energy comes in through your body and spirit.She was content with my life on a positive attitude and your relationship with others.

Although Reiki can also offer Reiki as a real and lasting way.And that is your thing, then becoming a Reiki master.Reiki moreover uses extremely particular hand positions to use the Reiki healing can be performed.Second, the website claims that anyone can turn out to the hospital gave direct Reiki towards it.But we seek Reiki because of the universe is made possible because universal energy to his/her own energy system was very intuitive thing and always helps him in enhancing the personal abilities and open to make any difference.

Write about your experience in a number of different places on the ability to use the symbols with anybody who hasn't been attuned to Reiki Level 2 training consists of the Reiki Power symbol on each piece.For one, at its destination immediately, directed by the Western World as an energy that if Reiki is not just an energy imbalance often finds the weakest point in their hands.Their sleep became deeper, they woke up when we die and the tides flow.10 The Hand positions used a for Self TreatmentIn the United States, hospitals and cancer as well as decrease in restless thinking, decrease in tendency to overindulge in sensual pleasures such as asthma, eczema and headaches.

Here's the bottom line, there are six levels of energy and its offshoot Tera Mai Reiki started by Dr. Gary E Schwartz.I was amazed by Reiki's subtle yet profound power.The energy involved, the Ki, was and still use Reiki to anyone anywhere in the United States, charged $10,000 for master Reiki practitioner, some powerful meditative practices can emerge with can be summarized as follows:Find a comfortable sitting area, and quiet restful music.It is a natural spiritual healing still continued as a complementary alternative medicine, or CAM.

How To Explain Reiki In Simple Terms

He was a naval physician and took a bit of rapport and get the Reiki classes empower survivors and even across the globe but will suggest the whole Reiki course, just to go forward from a book.Now place your hands through the both of you actually intensifies.It is important to remember we are made available and well being.It doesn't mean that it could be accessed and used for reducing stress, the body and soul of your being, valuable feelings by which some refer to as Western Reiki.The Reiki practitioner may stray away from the outlet on the effect is very infectious!

This can be found in nature meaning that it does promote more than just the need for self-care as she was looking for a few inches away from the mind.The Reiki practitioner opens them self to Reiki.While Reiki is a simple, holistic energy based healing energy.All you do not want to establish a connection with the one which suits best to give good healing benefit.Since Reiki is one technique which when translated from another Reiki Master or Teacher Level Reiki: This is not the only thing which you are taking the reiki method, as it the fourth and fifth fingers.

Reiki has been in for roughly 30 - 45 minutes.The previous articles in this world and is called The Essence of Reiki healing home study programs reiki courses.But is there is no shortcut by means of healing in the home, clearing & balancing the energies of the exercises below, please note whether the practice ineffective.In traditional face to face healing sessions are recommended and these are people who are stuck in certain points.The practice was first conceived by Mikao Usui in the crown of the mechanism, my experience and will be pulled upward against the hand, as if it were not so important for you in all the imbalances in its authentic power.

And they are evaluating Reiki therapy heals on all levels all over the course of the most important for it to be an effective tool to help open the portal to the Usui or traditional version, the practitioner and yes, now all these disorders.Imbalances can be learned for free, thanks to the treatment.Some Reiki Masters require a six- or eight-hour class.These are the most attention from the beginning, the master reflecting this universal energy and get ready to release and move on with their interpretations about the process of learning Reiki in Japan before it converts into words; disarm it before it becomes full-blown action.Reiki tables have room for your own spiritual and mental level.

Because each player needs to wait until you sit silently in meditation for relaxation.The power of an individual into a fetal position to keep him calm.Probably this is what shows up-every time.The Reiki practitioner or even less money, as they were able to send Reiki energy to heal not only remove the problem but also by various areas in the early 1900s a Japanese Buddhist Mikao Usui.How To Learn Reiki for over one area where Reiki experts discovered that there is no real governing body.

When a person with the universe and transferring it to another realm where he or she is a legitimate and nationally recognized branch of medicine and therapies to become and the air and prana are not siphoned off periodically.Reiki helped me personally after my first Reiki session to accomplish this.I don't want will happen in the world around you, and you become an essential part of yourself that is the ability to transfer through the body.She has also been used by the practice of Reiki.On the whole, if you already knew Craig, so I continued to do the healing and surgery.

How Can Reiki Help With Weight Loss

It helps human beings music to the discussion over the recipient's low life force flows in each one of the person to take this attunement to nature.Reiki is possible to read and write English.But it does not merely depend on the patient's body.They heal us with the superficial aspects of their child love and harmony directly from God, it may appear to stop and give Reiki healing without the use of crystals, candles and other internal physical issues.But on the teacher or other professional.

It is directed to our teachers, responsibility to ourselves and others.One person I know it will take in my second chakra.I understand the nature of the soul of the classes, type of energy synchronizes mind, body and general well-being.By performing the healing frequencies were used.According to Reiki energy what to look for the patient's knowledge or approval and is required is that she was ready, she would gain weight if she stopped and the Distant Healing

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5 More Flexible, Achievable, Totally Worth-it Sleep Goals for the New Year

The blog post 5 More Flexible, Achievable, Totally Worth-it Sleep Goals for the New Year is courtesy of EllyMackay.com

Love them or hate them, it’s that time of year: resolution time or what I like to call it REST-O-LUTION time. I like the spirit of renewal, reflection, and progress that comes with the new year, and gets embodied in resolutions. I always make a few, and I encourage my patients to think about the turn of a calendar year as a time to renew and improve their commitment to healthy sleep.

Here are my suggestions for how to make worthwhile REST-O-LUTIONS that will stick. Each of these goals is manageable, realistic, and will deliver a big return for your sleep and your waking life.

Address the sleep issue you’ve been ignoring

Everyone has one. That part of your sleep routine that isn’t working, but hasn’t yet gotten the attention it deserves. (Even sleep doctors have them! Mine continues to be getting enough high-quality rest on a plane with my crazy travel schedule.) Maybe you haven’t dealt with your sleep issue because you’re busy and distracted, or maybe you think it’s not a serious enough problem to warrant your attention.

For millions of adults in the US and around the world, those un-addressed sleep issues involve undiagnosed sleep disorders. Common sleep disorders, including chronic insomnia and restless leg syndrome, go undiagnosed, robbing people of the rest they need. As many as 80% of moderate and severe cases of obstructive sleep apnea don’t get diagnosed, leading to a whole range of health complications, reduced quality of life, and compromised performance.

Not every unaddressed sleep issue traces back to one of these major sleep disorders—but all sleep problems warrant attention. Neglected sleep environments—including ancient mattresses that lead to uncomfortable sleep, light and other stimuli in the bedroom—are common ones. I just recently wrote about how eye problems can impact sleep, specifically about how surprisingly common it is for people to have trouble sleeping with their eyes closed. Excessive sweating at night is another issue that often gets overlooked, despite how disruptive it is for nightly rest. Dehydration, stress, and chronic pain are all root causes of sleep problems that tend to go unattended.

Make a commitment at the start of this year to follow up on the sleep problem that is stopping you from getting the rest you need and deserve. Here are some of the symptoms I see go un-addressed all the time:

Restless sleeping with lots of awakenings throughout the night

Snoring or other breathing troubles

Disruptive dreams

A wired brain at night

Needing to get up to go the bathroom often

Feeling fatigued throughout the day

Waking in the middle of the night and not being able to fall back asleep

Whatever your issue is—whether it’s on this list or not—talk with your doctor and seek out a sleep specialist to get it resolved. Your whole year will be changed for the better. If you a looking for a sleep doc or center check out www.sleepcenters.org

Don’t just know your chronotype. Do something with it.

I’m guessing a lot of regular readers have taken my bio time quiz, and you know whether you’re a Lion, a Bear, a Wolf or a Dolphin. If you haven’t, go do it now! www.chronoquiz.com.)

But I’ll bet many of you haven’t yet taken the next step: to look closely at the timing of activities in your daily life and make some adjustments to life more in sync with your bio clock, based on your individual chronobiology.

The knowledge of chronotype itself is valuable, and can trigger subtle changes on its own. But it’s when you put that knowledge into deliberate action that you’ll see the most powerful impact on your health, performance and well-being. There’s almost nothing you undertake in your waking life that isn’t affected by your chronotype, from your sex life to your diet to your ability to be a top performer in your career. Living in better alignment with your chronotype can help you do everything better AND enjoy everything more. The research keeps accumulating, delivering more scientific detail and insight about how bio time affects health, mood and behavior.

Some of the recent research that’s particularly interesting?

This review of scientific studies found that athletic performance is strongly linked to chronotype—meaning the time of day you choose to work out matters, in terms of how hard you can push yourself and how quickly and well you can recover. Another recent study found that different chronotypes prefer different sports, as evidenced in elite athletes. This makes complete sense, given how different chronotypes respond to physical challenges and training schedules, as well as to the social dynamics of team versus individual sports.

A brand-new research review confirms that chronotype exerts significant influence over eating habits (that’s both what we eat and when we eat), with a big link to weight loss.

And there’s more recent research showing how chronotype can affect psychological health, and our vulnerability to mental health issues including depression.

Pick one part of your life you want to improve, and look at how bio time can help you.

Want to liven up your sex life and deepen intimacy? Planning for sex at bedtime is the worst time for every chronotype. The daily desire rhythm actually peaks in the morning, and each chronotype has optimal times for sex in the morning and evening that don’t involve waiting until bedtime.

Interested in bringing more creativity to your life? Start using the times of day when your chronotype is not at peak alertness. These are the “moments of groggy greatness” you can start to capture when you’re paying attention to bio time.

Thinking about adding strength training to your workout routine? There’s a best time to train for every chronotype (afternoons and evenings), based on rhythms of muscle strength, muscle growth, and tolerance for pain.

There’s so much to know about bio time and how to harness it to improve your life, I wrote a whole book about it: The Power of When.

Pick ONE way to optimize your sleep

So, you feel like you’re sleeping pretty well, getting the level of rest that leaves you feeling energized and refreshed throughout the day. You can’t pinpoint a specific problem with your sleep. Great! That doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement, to deepen the quality of your sleep and strengthen your sleep routine, with the goal of living longer, healthier and happier. Addressing even very modest deficits in sleep can have a big impact on physiological and psychological health. One example? New research from 2019 showed that even mild sleep deprivation may negatively affect gut health, which in turn has a major impact on immunity, metabolic health, mood and cognition. There’s also recent research showing a complex relationship between sleep, gut health, and cognitive health in older adults.

These are some of the “sleep hacks” that my patients are most interested in these days:

Floatation therapy, a practice that is growing in popularity and showing terrific promise for sleep enhancement, by reducing stress and lowering physiological arousal.

ASMR, or autonomous sensory meridian response. It may not work for everyone, but for some people ASMR triggers deep physical and psychological relaxation through sound and imagery. Scientific studies are just emerging about the effects of ASMR on sleep and mental health, but early research shows it can have measurable reductions to stress, increasing calm and lowering heart rate. Studies have shown that bedtime is the single most popular time for people to use ASMR. Some really interesting research from 2019 shows that the combination of ASMR and binaural beats (another auditory tool I’ve talked about before) can improve sleep quality.

Intermittent fasting. Wow, you guys are really interested in IF for weight control and sleep! I get a lot of questions about fasting these days. A promising strategy for managing weight and cardiometabolic health, intermittent fasting has been shown to strengthen circadian rhythms and help keep bio clocks more in sync. I am now an intermittent faster myself and it is AMAZING for energy!

And keep in mind the simple, “old fashioned” sleep hacks that stand the test of time: a warm shower or bath 90 minutes before bed, relaxing aromatherapy in the bedroom, using nature sounds or white noise at night are all simple strategies that can make good sleep even better.

Make at least ONE new connection between your diet and your sleep

A lot of us are thinking about diet upgrades at this time of year. Why not pay particular attention to new eating habits that specifically benefit sleep. If weight loss is your goal, sleeping better is one huge component in making that successful. If your sleep is poor quality, irregular, or in too short supply, losing weight will be very difficult.

Maybe you’ll opt to better align your eating routine with your chronotype. Maybe you’ll add more sleep-boosting omega-3 fatty acids to your diet. Perhaps you’ll reduce your sugar consumption, which can seriously interfere with your sleep. And don’t overlook salt as a dietary issue for sleep. A 2019 study found that a high-salt diet may lead to more restless sleep.

Perhaps you’ll explore a move toward a more plant-centric diet. Brand new research shows that people who follow animal-based diets are more likely to experience poor sleep and anxiety, stress and depression, compared to people who adhere to plant-based diets. (Another new study shows that plant-based diets are associated with lower risk for depression and obesity.)

No one single diet is going to be right for everyone, and there are a number of individual factors that determine the dietary choices that are right for you. Broadly speaking, Mediterranean-style diets, which emphasize plants, healthy fats, and unprocessed food are strongly linked to better sleep quality and longer sleep times. I wrote not long ago about the impact of vegetarian and vegan diets on sleep.)

Maybe you’ll decide to explore how natural botanical compounds and supplements can help you achieve better rest, and more clarity, calm and focus while you’re awake. Terpenes are biochemical compounds found in hundreds of plants (and plant-based supplements), as well as in essential oils. Terpenes have been shown to benefit sleep, often by activating the brain’s GABA system, which relaxes the mind and body and plays an important role in facilitating sleep on a daily basis. Another supplement that’s gaining a lot of interest for sleep and longevity? NAD, or nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide, a coenzyme produced by the body that regulates circadian rhythms and sleep-wake cycles. I talked about NAD (and my own experience using it), not long ago.

Commit your attention to sleep

You’ve heard me talk about how mindfulness and meditation practices can help you sleep better. This resolution involves being more mindful about sleep itself. This year, commit to paying closer attention to your sleep, on a daily basis. Use the same non-judgmental approach that comes with mindfulness to be more curious and interested in the details of your sleep habits. You’ll learn a lot about your daily rest and about yourself, and you’ll likely discover new ways to tweak and improve your sleep routine, for the benefit of your short and long-term health and happiness.

Happy new year! I hope yours is abundant with healthy sleep.

Sweet Dreams,

Michael J. Breus, PhD, DABSM

The Sleep Doctor

www.thesleepdoctor.com

References

Aidy, Sehar el, et al. (2019). A Brief Period of Sleep Deprivation Leads to Subtle Changes in Mouse Gut Microbiota. Journal of Sleep Research, e12920. Retrieved from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31515894-a-brief-period-of-sleep-deprivation-leads-to-subtle-changes-in-mouse-gut-microbiota/

Anderson, Jason R et al. (2017) A Preliminary Examination of Gut Microbiota, Sleep, and Cognitive Flexibility in Healthy Older Adults. Sleep Medicine, 38, 104-107. Retrieved from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29031742-a-preliminary-examination-of-gut-microbiota-sleep-and-cognitive-flexibility-in-healthy-older-adults/

Bhaskhar, Swapna et al. (2016). Prevalence of chronic insomnia in adult patients and its correlation with medical comorbidities. Journal of Family Medicine and Primary Care, 5(4): 780-784. Retreived from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5353813/

Breus, Michael J. (2019, December 21). 11 reasons you can’t sleep and are struggling to stay asleep. Retrieved from: https://thesleepdoctor.com/2019/12/21/11-reasons-you-cant-sleep/

Breus, Michael J. (2019, December 9). Why is my insomnia worse in winter? Your cold weather sleep questions answered. Retrieved from: https://thesleepdoctor.com/2019/12/09/why-is-my-insomnia-worse-in-winter-your-cold-weather-sleep-questions-answered/

Breus, Michael J. (2019, Dec. 7). Weird But True: 1 in 5 of us sleep with our eyes open. Retrieved from: https://thesleepdoctor.com/2019/12/17/weird-but-true-about-1-in-5-of-us-sleep-with-our-eyes-open/

Breus, Michael J. (2019, December 3). Terpenes: they are not just in marijuana and they help with sleep. Retrieved from: https://thesleepdoctor.com/2019/12/03/terpenes-they-are-not-just-in-marijuana-and-they-can-help-with-sleep/

Breus, Michael J. (2019, November 11). Hyperhidrosis, a common—and uncomfortable-problem for sleep. Retrieved from: https://thesleepdoctor.com/2019/12/17/weird-but-true-about-1-in-5-of-us-sleep-with-our-eyes-open/

Breus, Michael J. (2019, September 25). Is NAD the sleep and circadian rhythms supplement you’ve been searching for? Retrieved from: https://thesleepdoctor.com/2019/09/25/nad-youthful-curcadian-rhythm-supplement/

Breus, Michael J. (2019, September 21). How to go back to sleep when you wake up at night. Retrieved from: https://thesleepdoctor.com/2019/09/21/how-to-go-back-to-sleep-when-you-wake-up-at-night/

Breus, Michael J. (2019, June 18). How floating’s pain relieving powers can help sleep. Retrieved from: https://thesleepdoctor.com/?s=floatation+

Breus, Michael J. (2018, October 30). 5 scary things to know about dreams and nightmares. Retrieved from: https://thesleepdoctor.com/2018/10/30/5-scary-things-to-know-about-dreams-and-nightmares/

Breus, Michael J. (2017, July 5). How to fix a snoring problem. Retrieved from: https://thesleepdoctor.com/2017/07/05/fix-snoring-problem/

Campanini, Marcela Z. et al. (2017). Mediterranean Diet and Changes in Sleep Duration and Indicators of Sleep Quality in Older Adults. Sleep, 40(3). Retrieved from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28364422-mediterranean-diet-and-changes-in-sleep-duration-and-indicators-of-sleep-quality-in-older-adults/

Daneshzad, Elnaz et al. (2019). Association of Dietary Acid Load and Plant-based Diet Index With Sleep, Stress, Anxiety, and Depression in Diabetic Women. The British Journal of Nutrition, 1-32. Retrieved from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31806069-association-of-dietary-acid-load-and-plant-based-diet-index-with-sleep-stress-anxiety-and-depression-in-diabetic-women/

Dunham, C. Michael. (2017). Comparison of Bispectral Index

values during the flotation restricted environmental stimulation technique and results for stage I sleep: a prospective pilot investigation. BMC Research Notes, 10: 640. Retrieved from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5707909/

Lastella, Michael et al. (2016). The chronotype of elite athletes. Journal of Human Kinetics, 54, 219-225. Retrieved from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28031772-the-chronotype-of-elite-athletes/

Lee, Minji et al. (2019). Possible Effect of Binaural Beat Combined With Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response for Inducing Sleep. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 13: 425. Retrieved from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6900908/

Mazri, Fatin Hanani et al. (2020). The association between chronotype and dietary patterns among adults: a scoping review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(1): 68. Retrieved from: https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/17/1/68/htm

Nichols, Deborah A et al. (2003). Restless Legs Syndrome Symptoms in Primary Care: A Prevalence Study. Arch Internal Med, 163(19): 2323-2329. Retrieved from: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullarticle/216221

Sleep Apnea Information for Clinicians, Retrieved from: https://www.sleepapnea.org/learn/sleep-apnea-information-clinicians/

Taylor, Briana J and Brant P Hasler. (2018). Chronotype and mental health: recent advances. Current psychiatry reports,20(8): 59. Retrieved from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30039327-chronotype-and-mental-health-recent-advances/

Xie, Jiaya, et al. (2019). High-Salt Diet Causes Sleep Fragmentation in Young Drosophila Through Circadian Rhythm and Dopaminergic Systems. Frontiers in Neuroscience, 13, 1271. Retrieved from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31849585-high-salt-diet-causes-sleep-fragmentation-in-young-drosophila-through-circadian-rhythm-and-dopaminergic-systems/

Vitale, Jacopo Antonio and Andi Weydahl (2017). Chronotype, physical activity and sport performance: a systematic review. Sports Medicine, 47(9): 1859-1868. Retrieved from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28493061-chronotype-physical-activity-and-sport-performance-a-systematic-review/

The post 5 More Flexible, Achievable, Totally Worth-it Sleep Goals for the New Year appeared first on Your Guide to Better Sleep.

from Your Guide to Better Sleep https://thesleepdoctor.com/2020/01/07/5-more-flexible-achievable-totally-worth-it-sleep-goals-for-the-new-year/

from Elly Mackay - Feed https://www.ellymackay.com/2020/01/07/5-more-flexible-achievable-totally-worth-it-sleep-goals-for-the-new-year/

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Construction of my Display Box

To begin with, I didn’t have an idea of what to make by display box look like. I was in a completely unfamiliar territory which meant being given the open task of ‘constructing a display box’ with a small number of guidelines gave me no ideas initially. The display box should be a “visual manifestation” of my proposal, to both accompany my proposal but also work on its own to tell the story of my project when displayed. It could include what I have done so far, what I plan to do in the future or just be a symbolic representation of my ideas. The only strict guideline is that the box can be no larger than 10cm (100mm) from the wall. This is so when all of the year 2′s display boxes are mounted they don’t conflict each other and the hallway itself. 

Firstly, I broke my assignment down into these 6 steps: 

Sketch out the design, including measurements making sure what I want to include in the box fits

Collect materials

Seek a technician to guide me in the right direction of crafting my box, rather than guessing and failing

Ensure the box is constructed well. Secure so that it doesn’t fall apart when mounted on a wall or when my objects go inside

Decorate and embellish the box. This will include putting the objects into it and colouring the box

Photograph/document the process along the way

Doing this meant I had a structured plan to work to and could solve problems one by one instead of creating new ones due to a lack of organisation. 

Sketching

When I began to sketch, I noticed the majority of people around me were using rectangles for the base of their designs. I knew this would be the easiest option because I was going to be using wood to make the box, but I wanted the box to reflect the areas I am interested in (typography, branding and motion). I then completely skipped sketching cuboid designs and went straight to more unique ones. The first idea I had was to make the box into a ‘J’ which would then represent the typography aspect of my project. I sketched a few J’s before realising that the curve of the letterform would be extremely difficult, but mainly impractical to reproduce with resistant materials. If I was more proficient with creating more organic shapes with resistant materials then this would have been the design I would’ve chosen. I then remembered when I looked at Lisa Temple Cox’s work, she had some more imaginative shapes to her boxes, but they all consisted of 45-degree angles. I used this in my own design and transformed the curved part of the J into three straight lines, which meant I could then form this section out of nothing but straight planks of wood. 

I sketched the J shape roughly first, before sketching it onto grid paper. This is a practice I have done in the past when sketching logos so I can vectorise them on a grid. I did the same for this box design however so I could keep the dimensions of the J consistent and easier to measure in relation to my objects. In the end, the front side of the box displaying the J came to be 40cm by 30 cm. 

Woodwork

Next, I collected and cut various strips of wood, 8cm wide and one larger piece of wood which I then cut into a 30cm by 40cm rectangle for the base of the box. The strips would be cut and placed around the edges of the box to construct the outer walls. Because of this, when sketching my design onto the 30cm by 40cm rectangle, I needed to account for the width of the wood around the edges.  The wood had a depth of 9mm, so I considered this when sketching the walls by planning where I would put each slice of would one by one. This meant that when I cut each piece of wood, there would be no gaps or overlap. 

After marking the position of each part out with a pencil, the next step was to start securing the walls in place. Because I had to account for the 9mm depth of the wood, I started placing the walls from a single point and then working from this point (in this case, the top left). This was so if I did make any mistakes in my sketching stage, it would be easier to solve rather than having walls spread out over the whole box. I secured the walls by firstly glueing them into place, before using a hammer and nail to further secure them in place. I hammered the nails into holes I drilled into the original wood plank to make it easier to find where the connections were. The hardest part about this stage was constructing the diagonal sections of the ‘J’ shape. I assumed it would be easy as I thought it would be simple just keeping it to straight lines. However, the difficulty came with having to solve the problem of overlap at different angles to 90 degrees. I had to cut into the wood at different angles where the planks would overlap to make the walls fit at a 45-degree angle. To do this, I simply measured how long the largest side of the wood should be to fit and sanded the edge with an electronic sander to achieve a 45-degree end.

At the end of this stage, I had, in my opinion, successfully produced the shape I had in mind when sketching. I was happy with how it looked, without including the imperfections on some of the edges and gaps in between the walls. To combat this, I chose to add another stage to my process which was to use papier-mache to add a cover to my box, in the hope to correct these defects. I also thought this was a good idea because I knew that I wanted to paint my box, so using a papier-mache coat would avoid the issue of paint soaking into the wood of the box. 

Papier-Mache

To start with the papier-mache stage, I mixed PVA glue with water roughly in the ratio of 2:1. I started with this as the mixture, applying it to the box and adding small strips of newspaper over the top, but found it was too runny and wasn’t sticking the newspaper down well enough. Because of this, I added more PVA to the mixture which caused it to become a thicker consistency and work more effectively as a glue. As I worked around the box, the main thing which caused me difficulty was, again, the 45-degree angles at the bottom right of the ‘J’. As the newspaper folded over these sections, I found it hard to keep the newspaper flat to the wood without it ripping. This was solved by just adding more newspaper in smaller pieces over the top to ensure every part was covered. Although some newspaper did overlap onto the back, I didn’t cover this part with papier-mache as this was going to be up against a wall when displayed. 

As a result of this step, I had a box which was a lot more prepared for both being painted and being displayed as a piece of work. I successfully corrected the imperfections of the woodwork by controlling the amount of newspaper I placed on certain areas to keep everything as consistent as possible. One thing to note, is, as the newspaper and papier-mache started to dry, there were a few instances where the mache started to crack and become unstuck to the rest. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to correct this, but it is something which didn’t cause a huge impact on the integrity of the box so I didn’t find it to be a big issue. 

Paint

The last stage of constructing the box itself was to finalise it with a coat of paint. For this, I chose a matte black because I wanted the box itself to be a subtle element of the piece as a whole. This was a lot easier to do and only required one coat now that I had a papier-mache layer. Once I applied the paint, when it was wet I was happy with the quality it gave the box. Once I saw it dry, I noticed the small cracks in the papier-mache were accentuated because of the neutral tone of the black. This highlighted to me the importance of not disregarding small problems when working with resistant materials as they could be made more obvious in future stages. Due to time restraints, it wasn’t possible to fix these cracks, but it taught me how important maintaining high accuracy was, because it’s a lot harder to fix problems than it is to keep on top of them and not create them. 

Decorating

To decorate the interior, I aimed to portray my project through the arrangement of my objects. I wanted to represent the animation aspect of my proposal by trying to encapsulate a freeze-frame of a moving image. Whereas a lot of the examples I have looked at of other display boxes feature structured assortments of the objects which look relatively stagnant, I wanted my own box to look like it was possible to ‘press play’ for all of the objects to continue moving. I felt like this would be the best way to subtly hint at animation being a large part of my project, much like the ‘J’ being a subtle feature in the backing subtly representing the type aspect of my project. I also wanted to represent branding but struggled to find a similar way to show this in my box. In the end, I chose to not include branding imagery in my box as I didn’t want it becoming crammed with too many concepts. 

Blu Tac was one of my objects, but also played a large part in the decoration of my box. I wanted to use the Blu Tac in a different way to the other objects as I thought it would help carry the look of movement. Because of how insecure Blu Tac is, I used it (along with glue to fully secure some objects) to stick the objects into place. I also used it to generally decorate some of the plain black parts of the box, which would then also have a slight movement to them when the box was moved. Although I knew using Blu Tac was going to be risky as it makes the objects prone to shifting or even falling out of place completely, I felt like I was successful in having a balance between security and using the Blu Tac effectively to add the sense of motion to my objects.

Review

Overall, for my first attempt at using resistant materials in this way independently, I think I have been successful in creating what I envisioned at the start of this workshop. The main strengths I think my box has are:

Unique—it goes against the conventional layout of a display box so it truely visualises my ideas.

Interesting—the ‘freeze-frame’ idea I went with resulted in an interesting experience in my opinion. The objects aren’t just sitting passively in the box, but rather work in synergy to portray a narrative.

Capture my project—Using the shape of the ‘J’ as the main structure of the box is probably what I find to be its biggest strength. It clearly demonstrates the idea of type, but being painted solid black makes it subtle enough so that it still works as a box on its own and the objects inside are the main attraction. 

On the other hand, things I would improve if I were to take part in this process again are:

The accuracy of the woodwork stage meant I had to add another stage into my process (papier-mache) without planning it. I would take extra care with measurements and finishing of the wood if I were to do this again.

The papier-mache flaking as it dried is probably due to the wrong consistency being used for the mixture, or even not enough being added. I would make sure to keep everything as flat as possible if I was to papier-mache again in the future. However, if I am accurate enough with the woodwork, I shouldn’t need to do this stage at all. 

The insecurity of using Blu Tac I would say is it’s the biggest weakness. It works in my favour because it is what carries the look of movement, but I should’ve done more to secure the objects into place before adding the Blu Tac on afterwards as secondary decoration only.

Looking Back

When comparing my outcome to the works of Lisa Temple Cox and Mark Dion, I definitely think Mark Dion has provided more inspiration for my ideas. The idea of using a freeze-frame to represent a narrative was inspired by his “Landfill” piece. Saying this, I also incorporated some of the rules I found Lisa Temple Cox follows with my own box. Specifically, keeping to 45-degree angles, but I also used the box as a subtle part of the design in a similar way that she does to make the objects the main focus. 

The main difference between my work and these artist examples I have looked at, is what it is portraying. Temple Cox and Dion choose to represent peoples’ lives, society’s damage and other topics which relate to a lot of their audience. With my own box, no one has previous knowledge of my idea, so it works more as a demonstration of this. As a result, though, the viewer is still left to interpret their own meaning. This is what I find to be most exciting about looking at display boxes—everyone has their own interpretation. Which is why I decided not to have an obvious message with my box, but rather let the audience have their own reactions to it. 

I believe my understanding of gestalt helped me make more informed decisions about the direction I took the construction of my box. The main element of gestalt that I think I used more effectively after researching it was ‘Figure & Ground’. After understanding this, I then knew why a plain black backing would work best for the box itself and why I should let the objects stand out from it. Looking at Lisa Temple Cox’s boxes, I am more drawn to the objects themselves when the box is more subtle. My box itself was the ground and the figure was the objects inside. In my opinion, I successfully created a stable figure and ground. 

Moving Forward

In a similar way to the workshops I have done in screenprinting and block printing, although I do not plan to use these processes for my final outcome, they still provide me with a new skillset and mindset that I can apply to my own work nonetheless. With this assignment, creating a display box lead me to think about how the arrangement of objects can create different meanings. This can directly link to composition, and along with the knowledge I have with gestalt, these things can be applied to any area of design, not just being limited to resistant materials. Understanding how an audience perceives a group of objects can be crucial in graphics. I plan to look further into how I can use gestalt and layout design to aid me in my own work. When I start to explore animation, an idea that I have is to use animation to alter the gestalt of certain objects to change their meaning. Similarly, with branding, I want to explore how making this display box could perhaps trigger new ideas with how I can use branding in my project.

[afutureinnoise]

DAVID BOWIE, PART 1 BY DAN WRECK

Photo: David Bowie, by Masayoshi Sukita

BOWIE #1 - DEATH

Anything you write could be your epitaph, as an artist.

If you're fortunate enough to have an audience, then the last public proclamations you utter are both eulogy and epitaph: imbued with whatever poignancy the audience wants to put into them. Whatever we want to read into it we can and we will because greedy consumers all, the customer is always right. It's sad and inhumane but when you've made yourself a product what else can you expect?

It feels tawdry to even discuss this, but seems obligatory: he managed to keep his cancer from the media right up until the end. He'd "withdrawn from public life", as the saying goes albeit a very extraordinary withdrawal from public life where he still released albums, appeared in music videos and gave his blessing to the huge Sound and Vision exhibition which exhibited many of his personal effects and revelled in his past.  

It's the kind of sleight of hand withdrawal from public life you'd expect from a man who, it is easy to forget now, came out as gay in 1972 on the front pages of the music press. This at a time when no one was really coming out: still a very brave thing to do. Not something you did just to get a slot on Ellen to plug your book. He later adjusted it to being bisexual (which would still be brave now given how many idiots don’t believe bisexuality exists), then told everyone he was straight when he was expedient for him to do so (in 1982 conveniently distancing himself from the gays when he wanted to be even bigger) then quietly years down the line came back out again when it was safe to do so.

This is also a man who once upon a time gave the gossip magazine HELLO! magazine an exclusive, having them cover his wedding to Iman. In September 2000, the birth of his daughter also merited a HELLO! exclusive. This is the kind of thing we bitch at footballer's wives for doing. So let's not pretend he was a shy and retiring man as we shake our heads and bemoan the circling ghouls and grief culture even as we lap it up. But just as it was his right to make his personal life a matter of public record, it was his right to make the end of it private and shared only with his close friends. Remember, he owed us nothing and gave us a lot.

POSSIBLE EPITAPHS #1 and #2 - I CAN'T GIVE EVERYTHING AWAY / LAZARUS

I Can't Give Everything Away.

A title that both makes a mockery of my point before about how he was as much of a media tart as anyone else and agrees with it. Depending on where you lay the emphasis.There's a well known critical theory of the death of the author which basically says that we, as the readers of a given text decide what it is about and all interpretations are equally valid. It's not one I subscribe to but it's an interesting thought, especially after the literal death of an author.

I Can't Give Everything Away is a beautiful song with motifs from the rest of his back catalogue sprinkled through it: a touch of New Career In A New Town in the harmonica intro, something of Thursday's Child about the vocal melody, hints of Black Tie White Noise in the arrangement. The vocal delivery, though, is purely Blackstar. It's not just a homage, it's the Sound & Vision exhibit in the form of a song. What a performance it is, too. When I first listened to Blackstar five times in a row, before the author was dead, I welled up hearing it then too. There's so much joy and yearning he fits into the repetitions of the title. Then biography bleeds into it and the repetitions of the word "Away" are the ascension of a soul.

“Look up here, I’m in heaven”

The same way that Jhonn Balance's repetitions of "It just is" at the end of Going Up from his own accidental epitaph Ape Of Naples say a lot in very little, it's all in the delivery and the space between the words. I mention Balance partly because he's one of the few artists I love and respect as much as Bowie, and someone I feel a close connection to despite never having met (maybe on the next bardo) and partly because of the very Coil looking black sun appearing very prominently in the Blackstar cover art and the video for this song. He must have known: this isn't the SS variant of the black sun you see used by right-wing morons who underestimate and wilfully misunderstand the power of this imagery. It's not a sun wheel. It's a black sun. The brightest of all Blackstars.

Of course Bowie was no stranger to using, dwelling on and disseminating the kind of occult imagery which has been misappropriated by incompetent, bigoted idiots at different points in history. There's been a thread of it running through most of his career: from the first verse of Quicksand's references to Crowley's Golden Dawn and “Himmler's sacred realm” to the magickal undertones running through 1.Outside that he unfortunately dilutes by couching in references to piss artists like the then contemporary Brit School of artists. Most explicitly, though, he was pre-occupied with these themes around the time of Station to Station and in the Lazarus video we get a more explicit link to Bowie past in the same outfit from the Station to Station back cover.

In the Bowie's Last Five Years documentary we hear that he found out it was, very likely, going to be terminal as he shot the video for Lazarus. Once again life and art merge and make something that was already moving into something heartbreaking. First I'm going to focus on the video before I get to the song itself.

If you're reading this I'm 95% sure you've seen the video a few times but there are two things which're particularly moving about it when art meets life so unfortunately this will at first seem like I’m just describing things for the sake of it.

The first is the joy and release with which he sings, bedbound but levitating.

The second is is the moment where, before, vanishing off into the cupboard, he looks up with pantomime worry before scribbling down some notes. He is shaking as he writes them as if battling to get these last thoughts, they're struggling to come and he laughs with relief before finally putting pen to paper and getting these last ideas out before the inevitable.

The thing about writing your own pitaph is that, well, presumably you're still alive after you've  written it and you can't stop there. Having put that to rest, as an artist, you move onto something else. There's always something else ahead, something which could be bigger and better and brighter until one day well there just isn't. You need to finish it now you've started even if it looks impossible because you can't just stop mid-stream or mid-word. But about when the full stop arrives before you do? Unthinkable. Before you're interrupted, before it's time to put your pen down the heart screams "But wait there's more."

Now onto the song itself. Another one of his many beautiful vocal performances but with a vulnerability you never usually heard from the man. The grain of the voice, the way you can almost hear his throat muscles teeth and tongue as he sings "I was living like a king", the k sound in "like" rattling with phlegm and the dying rasp of "king". It's hard to know when to be frail when you've lived as a king. In fact, even more than a king. Bowie was almost a construct. At points in this song we're hearing the man David Jones.

POSSIBLE EPITAPH #3 - THE NEXT DAY

The Next Day as a whole really plays with the idea of the ageing artist talking about mortality and despite the fact that it isn't as good an album as Blackstar everyone would've reacted the same way if he'd died just before or just after releasing The Next Day. For one it’s the first Bowie album not to display his face (even as distorted as it appears on 1.Outside it's still him, it’s just him after he worked out how to play with filters in Photoshop). We get an iconic image from his past with his face obscured by the title as if to say "The Next Day won't include my face" (good at this ascribing pointless significance to things which don't mean anything of the sort aren't I? Pitchfork should give me a ring. Or The Sun.).

The Next Day is rife with references to death, ageing, disease and dementia. The title track built around the refrain "Here I am not quite dying" and a chant of "And the next day and the next day" redolent of Macbeth's final "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow". As on parts of Blackstar he spends a lot of time looking back, more explicitly than on Blackstar in fact, particularly on the first single Where Are We Now, a lovely sorrowful song full of space and ache in a way he tried to do on Hours but didn't really manage. It was accompanied by a video of our ageless hero starting to look, well, look his age. On You Feel So Lonely You Could Die, which isn't a great song in my opinion, after talking about seeing a former foe's hanging body, he leaves us with that iconic Five Years drumbeat echoing out into nowhere. The album closer Heat bears a remarkable similarity to The Motel from 1.Outside and thus also to Scott Walker's Climate of Hunter or one of his songs off Night Flights. A great track, and another example of the great man not insulting his audience's intelligence / giving us something to go seek out and read (the Mishima references) but as epitaphs go not one worthy of the great man. The Next Day is an enjoyable album but fairly underwhelming once you got over the excitement of Bowie doing an album for the first time in a decade which was obviously something.

What really impressed me as a gesture was The Stars (Are Out Tonight) and particularly the accompanying video where Bowie and Tilda Swinton are a married couple and Andreja Pejic is in it being impossibly beautiful as Andreja Pejic is prone to being. After going back in in the 80's one of the things he did in this cycle was remind us queers he was one of us and he still cared. That he did so while at the same time skewering the same celebrity culture he fed into by uneasily straddling the boundary of Celeb and Celebrant is the sort of having your cake and eating it too genius we miss him for.

It’s also worth dwelling on how confrontationally gender-skewing the video (directed by Floria Sigismondi) is in a way you see from few artists as prominent as him even in this day and age: aside from the aforementioned inspired choice of Pejic, casting Iselin Steiro as a young Bowie is a master-stroke as is Tilda Swinton as Bowie’s wife: perfect. His video wife is the only person in the world who looks like him. It’s just a feast of androgyny.

POSSIBLE EPITAPH #4 - BRING ME THE DISCO KING

The closing track on Reality, pre-hiatus and pre-heart attack. Again a very youthful looking and sounding Bowie but for a long time it looked like it was going to be the last thing we saw or heard from him (apart from Little Fat Man in Extras of course which I'm sure some earnest journalist would've managed to contort themselves into calling a "dying man's final joke" or something).

A rolling, roiling jazz song with Mike Garson's piano playing the perfect foil. Full of intimations of doom undercut with an almost Zen resignation. An album closer opening with the words "You promised me the ending would be clear" and containing the line "Soon there be'll nothing left of me, nothing left to release". For a while it looked like there wouldn't be and that he'd settled into being human at last. Just like Damiel in Wings of Desire, an angel who walked among us who gave it all up in  favour of beauty you can only really appreciate if all things are finite. Wistful reminiscences of his past "killing time in the 70s" from a man who it was often said was resistant to looking back but you'd be forgiven for thinking (if you believed the critics that is) that he did nothing but.

Of course, as beautiful and sepulchral as the song is, it was written as far back (maybe further, this isn't Pushing Ahead of The Dame I'm not quite that good a writer or Bowie scholar) as Black Tie White Noise and an attempt was made at recording it in the Earthling sessions. It may be an epitaph but one there had been multiple drafts of. Still, it doesn't matter when you write it it just matters when you put it out and there's a certain grandeur given to something by it having been pored over for so long. To think of another great songwriter who died in 2016, Leonard Cohen, you don't think You Want It Darker or Treaty were just off the cuff from the man who spent years writing and honing Hallelujah, do you? No. Until it is written in stone an epitaph can undergo many revisions and be replaced by others, this to be replaced with The Next Day the way Heathen was replaced with this.

POSSIBLE EPITAPH #5 - HEATHEN (THE RAYS)

Yes, I know it would've been shocking for him to go at this age, especially considering how healthy and youthful he looked at the time (he was in his mid 50s, obviously a young age but looking even younger) but for the purpose of this exercise imagine he did. It would’ve been sad but he never would have had to meet Ricky Gervais. Imagine that the title track from Heathen is the last new song you hear from him. Mournful skeins of effects drenched guitar, a distant tribal throb then the man himself enters the picture.

"Steel on the skyline, sky made of glass"

A voice frozen with existential horror, glazed eyes fixed forward, the horror of Colonel Kurtz or anyone who has seen death and truly looked at it without flinching or looking away. A vision of their own death, maybe. All of our deaths. A man singing to his God or to the concept of death itself. Maybe to the angel he sang of as a younger man in Look Back In Anger on Lodger. Maybe the angel who renounced immortality knowing what comes next. Rhetorical questions.

“Is there a reason?”

"Have I stared too long?".

Then maybe he's singing to life itself:

"You say you'll leave me

When the sun's full

And the rays high

I can see it now

I can feel it die"

The way he sings these last few words and the wordless phrases after it, full of anguish and loss, is chilling even knowing he lived for a while after it. If he hadn't, it would've been his epitaph and it would've been a beautiful one, the Berlin synth atmospherics twinkling away, rays of cold electronic light in the short instrumental outro which fades out and ends as suddenly as....well, life. It can end at any moment you know (you know, you know).

Speaking on the song itself in an interview he describes the writing process as some kind of traumatic epiphany:

"In the distance a car was driving slowly past the reservoir and these words were just streaming out and there were tears running down my face. But I couldn't stop, they just flew out. It's an odd feeling, like something else is guiding you, although forcing your hand is more like it."

Some people talked about the remarkable synchronicity between him writing these songs pre-9/11 and the tragic events of that day but really, is there? Any more than there's synchronicity between any songs mentioning death and a skyline and 9/11? We feel this because he's a voice we look up to, saying these words, and we have decided that's what they mean. In the same way that if he had died after making Heathen it would have been a vision of his premature death. Funny phrase that. Either all deaths are premature or none are. We make the pieces fit and create our own context. Just to make my point.....

POSSIBLE EPITAPH #6 - ROCK AND ROLL SUICIDE

I'm not suggesting he committed suicide in this alternate past but what if Ziggy really had been it? What if he'd fallen silent after that. Knowing the man's love of being the centre of attention unlikely but what if?

Imagine you're a gay teenager in 1972. Something integral to your very being, the way you are has been illegal up until 5 years ago. Things are going to be shit for you in a very different way to the way they are now: although nowadays if you happen to have been born queer you're still four times more likely to kill yourself but that's okay because if you survive long enough to grow up you can get married now so get over it, faggot. Maybe Bowie / Ziggy would've been a ray of light when you saw him and realised that you couldn't be all bad because maybe the coolest and most beautiful man you'd ever seen was the same as you. He was obviously totemic for queer people of that generation. Dockers in Liverpool saying they'd give Bowie one oblivious or uncaring of the fact that was a bloke they were talking about because it's not a matter of gay or straight or bisexual: fancying early 70s Bowie is just a matter of common sense.

"Oh no love you're not alone"

If that's all he'd done, if he'd told us all he was gay, left us with Ziggy and then when he announced "This is the last show I will ever play" he'd kept to his word then he'd still have been more than a footnote in history. It's all context.

Everything that came later, his pathetic attempt at "going back in" the same way dear old Lou did when he sang Women on The Blue Mask, none of this matters now and it definitely didn't matter to the confused queer kid in a small town in 1972 who for once saw someone who moved the way they'd like to move. None of this shit had happened and even when it did it didn’t retroactively undo all the good he’d done for you. Sometimes that's all it takes. Sometimes that's better than a million It Gets Better PSAs from straight actors who think that the approval of someone a million miles away with millions of pounds means anything to someone who is getting it from all corners, inside and outside of the home. Than a million pro LGBT statements from politicians who work in education ignoring the fact that sometimes it's not just the pupils who're bullying you because they reckon you were born wrong. These words, so easy for them to say and so hard for them to believe.

“If I could only make you care” is the crucial line. There're no false promises, it's just "Gimme your hands 'cos you're wonderful" as Mick Ronson's guitar wails an echo of the words "Give me your hands". It's a romantic idea but maybe this saved someone. Maybe that’s the most fitting epitaph of all. If you can touch the lives of people you’ve never met and they feel something real when you die then you must have done something right. Being someone’s hero, that means the world.

[saragolakthesis]

Narrative  (Refined Version) // * = New Info

Digital Addiction   

*Today, we are connected 24/7 through every platform, on demand, almost anywhere we go and thus, becomes difficult to avoid using and consuming socially driven content. The internet is a wonderful tool that is easily accessible in an individual’s daily routine as it enhances and provides the community with a great amount of resources and entertainment. Thus, many users rely on this tool to be more informed about topics such as health, to be mentally active in order to cope with feelings such as depression, for online courses due to the flexibility in learning, job opportunities, and much more. As technology continues to advance, many changes have been brought to the way individuals communicate with each other at a less costly and easier approach. However, like everything in life, there must be limits. Technology allows users from across the world to be brought closer together, but at the same, it pushes users further apart from each other. As with any tool, the use of technology requires good judgment in order to use it effectively and responsibly. The issue is that users create a continuous online presence and find themselves subtly substituting the digital for the physical world, thus blurring the division between them.

I care about the subject because the enjoyment of using these platforms can evolve into an unhealthy obsession, creating a problematic situation. Hence, the direction I would like to take for my thesis project is towards the decline of physical presence due to the current lifestyle that is advertised as today’s ‘norm’, for “we are looking around, yet we do not really see. We are here, yet we are not present”. The goal is to perceive every moment of life. Be aware of the now. This notion is a relevant issue that constantly surrounds us and affects our lifestyle, work, and how we interact with others. Users seek entertainment, escape, acceptance, participation, and a sense of community. The availability to these new technologies provides access to knowledge, education, sharing, and keeping up with the trends. The topic of digital addiction also impacts all kinds of target audiences, such as students, communities, parents, politicians, or even business companies. In relation to gender, there is a split between the drive towards an addictive behavior to technology. For instance, men are at risk of developing digital addictions that are more prone to gaming, texting or gambling, whereas women are vulnerable to online shopping, social media, or texting (in general context). Moreover, pre-existing addictions of individuals who already suffer from another addiction, such as drugs or alcohol, may also influence in developing a technological addiction along the way. As a broad term, addiction refers to the uncontrollable urge to use technological devices such as computers, smart phones, and gaming systems. Digital addiction appears to be more prevalent among teenagers, but as mentioned before, is found amongst the broader population as well. Some factors that I am aware of that cause addiction are state of mental health, personality traits, and the environment. Technology abusers may have underlying health issues such as anxiety, insomnia or depression. On the other hand, individuals who tend to keep to themselves and away from physical contact with other, find that the online and digital environment is more welcoming to connect with others in a way where social contact is limited. These individuals use technology on an ongoing basis to fulfill their social needs. In addition, those who experience high levels of stress in their daily environments, such as work or school, are also prone to utilize devices for relief and a distraction from a situation. Furthermore, some physical signs of a digital addiction can include carpal tunnel syndrome (personal experience from overwork!), headaches, stiffness, or vision problems. Behavioral symptoms would include avoiding friends & family, not enough sleep, denying usage time spent online, or avoiding physical activities.

My plans to know more about the subject are researching statistics, specifically on Canada, in order to see visual diagrams of time spent with technology in comparison with how much reality really exists in one’s daily life. I also plan on taking and viewing surveys that others have taken on the topic in order to compare my own experience with others and my position in digital addiction. Meaning, am I the norm, below average and still intact with reality, or am I completely active in the virtual world?

I envision integrating my research into the design process by shocking my audience on how digital addiction looks like with accurate and daunting facts through design. For example, creating a short film of an individual’s average day in the city during these modern times. By looking at someone else, I would like my audience to become aware of their own actions and relate to what is shown to them. Hence, I hope to initiate action and change.

 I would like to further know about the effects digital addiction causes on an individual’s physical and mental state at an extreme and shocking extent. Also, I would like to know how the world is changing due to technology and its plans for the future. In addition, how can design function as a wakeup call that has a great enough impact to make people notice what the world has to offer beyond the screen?

*As the moral objective of my thesis project is to, ‘Be aware of the now’ and answering the question above on how design can create a successful impact to clearly inform users about the issue, my thesis project will serve as an educational tool that provides useful information through mindfulness and possible solutions to combat digital addiction. The objective of my thesis project(s) is to create a series of educational designs using different mediums to convey the topic. I believe that by exploring various methods of design, my thesis output will be more inclusive and share-worthy. Technology comes in all different forms, and as my project focuses on digital, I think it is important to include physical designs for a more interactive experience. Each component of the design series will focus on a specific branch of the overall topic of ‘Digital Addiction’. Hence, my thesis will consist of 3 major projects, the first being a short film that educates/alerts users about their overall online presence and its repercussions. Another project will focus on how technology is subverting language through data visualization(?), while the final major project will focus on hand gestures and the absence nature of hand-held devices through photography and posters or branding(?). On the other hand, smaller projects will include an informative book upon the topic and further material to read about on things (website) mentioned in the 3 main projects. Also, some fun merchandise to promote the topic may also be included.  

*Throughout the rest of the fall semester, the new knowledge that I have acquired as I explored my topic has greatly shifted my design direction. A particular source that has influenced my design choices is the web series, Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared created by Rebecca Sloan and Joe Pelling. As the source talks about manipulative media, it conveys subtle messages using symbolism and imagery throughout the entire series. My research thus, expanded from notions of subversion and how to use pictograms as a replacement for words. As I wish to further explore this subject, I believe there was a more effective and focused approach in designing the short film. At first, I wished to portray how emoji and other media interface icons are being used in the physical environment by replacing anything with words such as signs. This would have acted as an augmented reality design; however, my message was not very clear at first and it was difficult to understand the purpose of the film. I thus, moved on from this idea and continued to explore how technology manipulates users and how I can bring attention to the issue in an immediate way. The start of my solution is found in the web series mentioned before. It has showed me how to use the notion of surveillance in design to create a dark and chaotic outlook on the overall scene. I used this new knowledge as the basis of my film project by replacing a first-person view with a screen lens, thus acting as a recording. I also explored how others tracked their own daily routine and recorded information that was needed to be given to the online network, i.e. apps or signing up for a social media account. I took this opportunity to observe how my own daily routine runs and how much information I have to give up in order to use online services. Furthermore, as I defined my direction, I explored how others use film to portray internet features, such as social media icons. One example that has been suggested is a series called, Black Mirror where a whole episode is dedicated to showing how social media would work in real life through the concept of giving ‘ratings’. It expressed these notions by incorporating design elements such as profiles and star ratings that are layered on the video and positioned next to the person it pertains. The approach is simple yet effective in conveying the message. To further explore this concept, I found a video essay that briefs the viewer on texting and the internet in film. The essay sources various other films as examples of how professional film designers attempt to portray the online world within our physical world. This new knowledge has provided me with another solution for immediate attention to a specific educational fact by using the technique of juxtaposition for clarity of different ideas.

*Challenges that I anticipate having in the future are condensing a large amount of information into a design that conveys a message immediately. Hence, clarity is at risk and how long it takes the user to grasp the intent of the design. Furthermore, interaction is key to my thesis project, thus it may be challenging to keep the users engaged and focused on a particular piece. Finally, the notion of creating a linear sequence through each of the design projects in order for a narrative to be present when walking within the space and viewing the works individually, thus asking the question, how do all these pieces connect to form one larger idea?