#i love accurate post partum and pregnancy

[katsukiizmoon]

╰┈➤ ꒰🍓💌🥛 ┊boba time ┊ Hana ; #02 ꒱

『♡』 Post-Partum urinary incontinence is the bane of your existence, ruining everything, but Katsuki kisses you like it doesn’t matter.

『♡』 having a baby and all that comes with it, post partum anxiety, urinary incontinence, comfort, suggestive scene, insecurity, healthy relationship, pet names : bunny, angel, baby, f!reader

You keep peeing on yourself and it’s fucking infuriating. The stitches have healed and you’re coming along nicely but you just keep peeing on yourself.

You love Hana, her pretty little blonde curls and red eyes. You love her giggles and her cries, even when she makes you cry. But you keep peeing on yourself and it’s the most embarrassing part of having a baby thus far.

Katsuki doesn’t mind, he laughs a little with the baby in his arms when you shove her to him. He watches you waddle to the bathroom grumbling and muttering curses.

It really doesn’t bother him, but it bothers you.

Hana stretched your pelvic floor to hell and back and now, as the doctor said it, you have urinate incontinence.

You change your pad in a haste, wiping gently with a baby wipe and look in the mirror. A cry comes from the other room and you shoot out, darting toward your husband.

“What happened?!” You bite, rushing over to the pair.

Nothing. Nothing happened. Hana is happily sucking down a bottle of breast milk in her fathers arms. She’s getting milk drunk, happy as can be, and he’s bouncing her and humming.

“What’re you talkin’ about baby?” Katsuki mumbles, head tilted to look at your eyes.

“I-I thought I heard her crying..” You mumble and he gives you a pitiful look.

Katsuki moves to sit on the couch, flicking on some random shoujo anime he swears he doesn’t watch. And you follow suit, sitting next to him on the black leather.

His spare arm wraps around you, pulling you closer to his body. His other thick, muscular arm holds Hana and the bottle. He’s gotten amazing at that, multitasking.

Plush lips come down to the top of your head and he murmurs reassurance. You turn and curl into him, breathing in the familiar scent of him.

It’s interesting, smelling the mix of caramel and baby powder all at once. It isn’t something you though you’d find comfort in until now. You feel with your arm for the throw blanket and drape it over the two of you.

“What’s wrong angel?” He ponders, watching the way you close your eyes slowly and sigh in response.

The anime girls on the show are confessing their undying love with roses and bento boxes. It’s kind of cute.

Hana let’s out a satisfied noise and he pulls the bottle from her mouth with a pop, setting it to the side. You lick your thumb and wipe the excess milk from her face and giggle at her features scrunching up in disagreement.

“Just.. worried? What if something happens, you know? And and i- I can’t stop freaking peeing on myself. Even if it’s just a little. I don’t see why you’d be interested in me when I’m constantly- just- yeah.” You let out, breathless and frustrated.

Katsuki hums, leaning down to kiss your forehead. He unwraps his heavy arm from around your middle and turns, lifting your face using his thumb and hand. And he kisses you.

He kisses you deep and slow, sighing into it. And he breaks away when Hana makes a noise, bouncing her momentarily before going back in.

His lips are so soft and remind you of the first time you ever kissed. It reminds you of the day he asked you to marry you. The day he found out you were pregnant.

And his tongue is hot and heavy in your mouth. Patiently exploring and soothing the deep need in your bones to feel wanted.

“I don’t care that you’re peeing on yourself. I don’t care that you need to wear pads cause of it n’ I damn sure haven’t lost interest.” He breaks the kiss, forehead pressing to yours.

You open your mouth, then close it again, then speak.

“But you haven’t touched me..” You whisper, tears pricking your eyes.

“Oh bunny, is that what this is about?” He rasps, worried and kissing over your cheeks where tears begin to spill.

You nod and tremble in his grip.

“The only reason I haven’t fucked you on every surface in our house, haven’t licked every inch of your body, is because you’ve been tired, baby.” His thumb brushes over your lip and he kisses you again, softly.

“I’ve seen how much work you’ve been doing with Hana n’ all. And you’ve been so upset with yourself cause of the peeing situation I thought’cha weren’t ready, angel.” He explains.

Relief washes over your features and you sigh, weight lifted from your chest. You grab him by the jaw and kiss him as hard as you can. He deepens it, and only breaks when Hana begins to make noise.

“Is that- is that really why ?” You murmur, eyes wide and full of hope.

Katsuki nods, crimson eyes boring into your own. His arm bounces your daughter over and over, keeping her snoozing against the fat near his pec.

You spend some time watching the anime, drinking water and lightly snacking. Mundane things, domestic things. Everything that makes life worth it.

He gets up, walking through the house and into the nursery and places her in the crib for her nap time. When he gets back, Katsuki all but slings you into his lap.

You don’t have sex, but the shoujo anime is drowned out in the back regardless. He takes his time with you, exploring new ridges and curves of your body.

Momentarily, you worry about the pad pressing against him. Just how embarrassing it is, at least to you. But that goes away when he kisses up your throat and groans out a praise.

“You’re the sexiest thing on this planet.” He declares, nipping at your jaw, fingers digging into the plush of fat above your hip.

“So glad I made you a momma..” He murmurs, kissing your mouth. And you look to find him staring at you with love struck eyes, looking over your entire body.

He looks between you and let’s put a breathy sigh watching your hips rock into his. Satisfied, he tries to take it a little bit further.

And you forgot about all the water you had. You forgot about the fact that you’ll pee on yourself a little too easily.

So he jostles you, pulling you down so he can get a little more friction. And when he tries to adjust himself by scooching up more, your thin pad gets soaked through.

You screech, embarrassed that you just wet yourself while making out with your husband. It reminds you all too well of every little awkward thing you’ve ever done.

And he doesn’t care, he just ignores it, for a moment. Grabs you by the back of the head and kisses you nice and deep, squeezing your ass. He pats then, telling you to go ahead and change.

When you come back, you don’t notice that he’s changed his sweats to the most similar he could find. You don’t need to know that it got on his pants.

[peachdues]

Re: bundle of joy - I can't get Sanemi's comment abt how he watched his mom suffer miscarriages at the hand of his father out of my head. What if he saw his mom cry every time she realized she was pregnant again? Like she loved all of her kids, but she knew what their dad would do to them. What if he also helped take care of his mom through her pregnancies and post-partum because his dad never did? I'm just UGH I'm SO SOFT FOR NEMI.

THIS THIS THIS.

Sanemi was the eldest and therefore took on the most responsibility after his mother, and he was a mama’s boy through and through. I think his mother was his single biggest influence. I actually think his early life observing his father’s treatment of his mother plays a huge role in how he approaches Y/N’s pregnancy — and his relationship with her in general.

I imagine that everything he did for Y/N in Bundle of Joy, he learned by helping his mother during her pregnancies. I agree that he probably saw how difficult pregnancy was for his mother (because let’s be real, none of those kids were born from love, and that’s heartbreaking), and has long since promised that if he ever has a child, he will do everything he can for both his kid and their mother. He’s ecstatic at first, but then Y/N says she wants to keep things in the down-low for a bit, and suddenly he’s terrified that he’s done to her what his father did to his mother, and he would rather die than cause her any pain. I think his deepest insecurity is becoming like his father, and while Sanemi can be a hardass and tough, he cannot be anything other than soft for his lover and their children.

I think that after the kid is born (and let’s be real, he is so girl-dad coded), he would take the most parenting inspiration from his mother. Sure, Sanemi is still going to be Sanemi, but both he and Genya idolized their mother. Not only does he love his kid without limit, but I could also see him trying to incorporate her gentle way of parenting, too. He wants his child(ren) to have everything he didn’t when he was growing up, and he will do anything to ensure they get it.

Something that I wish we saw more of in the Sanemi-realm of demon slayer content is more of an understanding of how he treats women in general. I think there’s a tendency to write him along the same lines of how Obanai treats other female slayers apart from Shinobu and Mitsuri, but I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate.

We’re told several times that Sanemi is kind to women, but I don’t think that’s limited to non-Corps women. He observes a lower-ranked female slayer being harassed by M*dea and straight up makes the pig piss himself by yelling so much at him. He doesn’t tolerate any disrespect towards women because Sanemi starts every day by drinking his Respect Women Juice. I’m not saying he’s soft on female slayers, but I think he’s definitely more subdued. He’s not going to level personal/emotional attacks against them because that’s what his father did (along with the physical abuse) and Sanemi hates his father.

Honestly, tempted to explore more of the Bundle of Joy universe — like how Y/N and Sanemi actually meet and get together/their time in their secret relationship, and even as parents. Sanemi doesn’t strike me as someone who sleeps with another without already being emotionally invested in them to some degree, because he doesn’t like to feel as though he’s using them as a means to an end. I would like to write some parallels between Y/N’s pregnancy and his memories of his mothers’ pregnancies and show how they directly influenced him later on. We’ll see!

[thewales]

“The interesting part will be next week.”

Yes to this.

So we have 3 eps that cover - his upbringing & the press. Her upbringing and the press and then their “love story” and the press. Ending around the wedding and her family.

Bets for the next 3

1 - the wedding/aus & nz tour / pregnancy announcement & how the press loved her/fawned over her. Expecting more along the lines of what Harry said in the OW interview how she was the best royal to ever royal in the history of the royals and how everyone was jealous of how royal they were - likely supported by her friends and the historians/experts they had on these eps.

2 - mental health/pregnancy/post partum and the impact the negative press was having which resulted in them leaving. This will be the the bit the family gets crapped on the most - how they didn’t help her with her mental health, how tough a decision it was to leave everything he had ever known, how they wouldn’t give them what they wanted at Sandringham summit/Megxit/ how the kids didn’t get security/titles - don’t think they’ll do racist comments again - they didn’t really say much in the first three other than “more of the family need to learn about unconscious bias” and the angle seems to be the press are the enemy and the family is formal/stuffy, need to educate themselves on race and get a backbone to free themselves of the mean British tabloids.

3 - then them actually leaving to where/what they’re up to now. Might get some post Oprah fallout/reaction - 50/50 on the bullying stuff; don’t think she’ll want that highlighted again and she’s also rebutted it indirectly through the podcast but we might get more friends saying how nice and kind and Diana like she is. Def going to get his return for Philips death/the jubilee/lilibets 1st birthday/Invictus ending with how they’re thriving now in LA.

This seems pretty accurate, anon. I agree with you.

[diaryofahealingbxtch]

Having a second kid is simultaneously the scariest yet enticing thing.

I let it all out and told Trent about all of my concerns. Things I had already mentioned in therapy, but held back on at home. All he had to say was, “We can wait.”

I asked him how he felt about it all, after voicing my concerns, maybe he’d feel comfortable sharing his. I always try to remember we’re married now, I should feel free to express myself around him. He gave me a simple “👌” gesture. He genuinely feels indifferent to trying now vs trying in a few months to a year. We both agree we don’t want a huge age gap between our kids, but if I’m not fully committed to the idea of it, we can wait.

The issue is, I am. I 100% want to go on and start preparing for another kiddo. I miss the excitement of counting down the weeks & feeling the kicks in my tummy. The surprise of what our newborn will look like, as accurate as those 3D ultrasounds are. There’s nothing quite like holding that squishy lil thing in the flesh. I don’t think I have baby fever, as my firstborn is relatively small still. I absolutely love her little feet and her smell as if she was still fresh out the womb!! Her clothes are still tiny compared to mine & she’s just got the best little personality. I don’t feel the URGE to bring another child into the world, but it’s constantly on my mind.

I’m afraid of failing to meet my first born’s needs while experiencing pregnancy again. The first time I was so sick and emotional, I don’t know if I could balance the two. I read some forums earlier about how second pregnancies can be dealt with easier because you are so distracted with taking care of a toddler, you can’t really focus on how sick you’re feeling 😅.

A lot of people I know have recently brought another child into this world or are in the works of it, and others are strictly 1 & done or have large age gaps. Anyone who’s successfully survived having 2 children that I know personally had them several years ago, which I suppose that doesn’t make many things different, but I can’t help but believe the economy and era was different for them. I always fear an impending financial hardship, losing housing or our jobs..

I guess what I’m tryna say is I’m scared of not being able to give my already earth side child everything I’ve got. I understand some things are out of my control and I can make it work because I’ve got that kind of determination, but this decision to have more kids is all me at this point. I absolutely love being a mom, but is that because I have a chill kid? The second could be a total hooligan that gives me gray hairs before I’m 30.. heck, this one has time to do that too! I really don’t like the unknown.

It’s funny because how did I ever manage to bring the first one into existence with such anxieties like this?! I’ve always had anxious thoughts.. but I guess my biological urges took over. Monkey brain reassured me that we’ve been repopulating the planet for decades, Shit, centuries! Not to mention, I was an impulsive 20 year old who didn’t give too much thought into her future. Having my kid seriously put so many things into perspective, and I learned quickly that all of my decisions, impact her childhood. My 20s experience is literally my kid’s youth bruh 😀

When I look at all the little details about having 2 kids, I don’t see many differences from just having one. Sure that’s another mouth to feed, butt to wipe, car seat to buckle.. but the first kiddo will gain more independence in time. It’s just those first few weeks.. the engorgement pain from breastfeeding (assuming the eldest decides to wean), the lack of sleep, the POST PARTUM DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY..

I try to remind myself that it goes by so fast. I survived it once and I’m better skilled now with coping & knowledge that I could survive it again.

The only thing truly stopping me? Really?

The IUD baybeeee

[ya-riotreads]

By: Angie Thomas

Prequel to: The Hate U Give

Goodreads Rating:★★★★★

My Rating:★★★★★

Find a copy near you from a local library: https://tinyurl.com/rcs34hcz

Angie Thomas has returned readers to the streets of Garden Heights; 17 years prior to Starr taking on the injustices of police brutality and in light of BLM movement. Concrete Rose focuses on 17-year-old Maverick Carter as his life changes with the birth of his first child. Taking place around the late 1990’s, Thomas explores the trials of generational stagnation, societal and environmental pressures, and the challenges behind stereotypes from the perspective of a black boy and his transition into manhood. The main question and task Maverick is imposed with is: what does it take to be a man and what type of man does Maverick want to be for himself and his family?

The reason for the 4.5 out of 5 rating stems from the accurate portrayal of urban/ghetto/hood life, Maverick’s character growth, Thomas’s insights to teenage pregnancy from the male perspective, and the setup of character, situational and relationship foils. Anyone who knows where the “concrete rose” metaphor gained traction from will understand what this story and subject matter pertains to. For those who don’t, let’s provide a brief aside to talk about one of thee most infamous West side artist to live—being Tupac Shakur. After the death of Tupac Shakur, a publication of his poems was release as a book entitled by the included work, The Rose that Grew from Concrete. The poem and Thomas’s book details the life of an individual who is meant to fail due to the inequities existing in their environment which is comprised of their familial situation and the type of people existing in their community. Maverick Carter—the rose to Garden Heights’ concrete—is the child of former King Lord legend who is serving jail time, has a mother who works two jobs to make ends meet, and is in relations with the King Lords for protection and means of income. In the beginning of Concrete Rose, Maverick does not see any wrong in following in his father’s footsteps, believing that being a man is to protect your family—blood and gang. Although Maverick Carter does fail in terms of becoming a teen father, falling into drug sales, flunks out of school, and considers murder to avenge the death of his relative, Maverick does succeed in his life in terms of not committing to gang life by the end of story. Maverick succeeds in following the terms of becoming a present father to his children. The ways in which Maverick could have failed was to abandon his children and continue down the path of gang life, however, Maverick learns that true fatherhood requires a father’s presence and guidance. Rather than running away from his problems, Maverick steps up to the plate and takes responsibility of the situation he—as an individual—has placed himself and other’s in.

The portrayal of gang life and living within an urban setting, such as Garden Heights, is an accurate representation of how it is in American urban life. From an outsider’s perspective—i.e. someone not in a gang or even someone living in a more suburban community—Garden Heights is an area where it is undesired to be stuck in. Someone living within Garden Heights (i.e Maverick) knows where safe spots are during what time of day and what risks lie within certain areas. In terms of gang life, there does exist a ranking or hierarchical system members follow. Gang life, similarly, is a commitment for life. The means of getting out is a risk to anyone’s life. The gang assumes a departing individual will be a risk to the gang in the future as they may rat-out information to the police or switch sides between other rival gangs. Maverick’s leaving of King Lord operations, although a risk, is necessary for himself becoming a better person for Lisa and his children, as well as, becoming the father he didn’t have full access to. Similarly, Maverick’s action of leaving foils that of King and Iesha’s residency, which—later in The Hate U Give.

In terms of literature on teen pregnancy, majority of works tend to focus on the female perspective as society claims females have more to lose out on than males. Thomas provides a golden opportunity by writing Maverick’s perspective on being a teen parent. Maverick’s first child—Seven—was born from (a lack of a better term) one-night stand with Iesha. However, rather than disregarding the birth of Seven and the positive DNA test, Maverick does take responsibility in caring for his child. A stereotypical move that Maverick could have taken was not accepting ownership/responsibility of Seven and disadvantaging Seven further by forcing Iesha to keep him without regard. However, Thomas’s theme of family keeps Maverick from going down that path. With the conception of Maverick’s second child with Lisa (someone Maverick sincerely loves and cares about) tests Maverick’s responsibility a step further based on Lisa’s preference to how she want to raise their child. With Seven, Maverick is still connected to King Lord life and imposes the risk of Seven falling into his footsteps in the future. However, with the second child and Lisa’s demands, Maverick must move passed his pride and become more than what gang life has imposed him to become—his father, not a dependable father figure. The male perspective of teenage pregnancy also nods to the concept of family building and parenting being a cooperative effort between both parents. Although our patriarchal society frowns upon men taking on child-rearing or any other “female designated” tasks, Thomas takes incentive by presenting a functionally learning and adapting male catering to the growth and development of his child. Thomas takes the opportunity to level the playing field between male and female pregnancies by having Maverick obtain losses female characters (i.e what Iesha would have endured had she possess a supportive family unit and this been her story) typical would experience during a teen pregnancy: grades falling, monetary insecurity, and a close to nonexistent social life.

Throughout the book foils exist EVERYWHRE. They exist in Maverick’s parents’ parenting in relation to his own parenting efforts, they exist between Lisa and Iesha’s stances and roles of motherhood, they exist between social expectations between Lisa and Maverick in terms of who was likely to become a teenaged parent and who was not, they exist between King and Maverick—which plays out later in The Hate U Give—as Iesha becomes pregnant again with King’s baby—these are only the ones that most forefront in my head, however, all are important as they push and pull against the stereotypes projected upon black people. However, my personal favorite foil is that of Maverick and his father as it leads to my favorite quote in the book coming from Mr. Wyatt in form of a question, aiding Maverick making a correct choice for himself.

““Because the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree?” Mr. Wyatt asks. “However, it can roll away from the tree. It simply need a little push.”

Maverick is appreciative of his father and the ability for his father to guide him when possible, however, Maverick does serve as a foil to his father by not committing to Kingship, not killing out of revenge, and being present for his children to guide them at all times instead of behind bars. Maverick strives to give his children the luxury of presence and convenience as that is something he wished for since his father’s sentencing.

The reason why this story isn’t a 5/5 is due to the lack of development for important female characters. Understandably, this is Maverick’s story and as Maverick is a strong hetero-male. It is, with this regard, that I take his lack of attention to female characters not out of perspective or out of character. The phrase, boys will be boys—as irritating as that may be—is in play here in terms of boys naturally being dense and inattentive to social cues in relation to their female counterparts. Maverick is a strong hetero-male growing up in a patriarchal society and in gang life, Maverick’s perspective is centered on himself and other men because he is searching for guidance relative to him versus doing what comes naturally (which to note, naturality is more of a female designated concept i.e. women’s intuition) but, he does learn to develop from his mother. Not to say that the female characters were weak, on contrary, they were not! The women in the story possessed hardy personalities and dialogue that was strong against Maverick’s actions and tendencies to keep him in line. However, there could have been a little more insight into their weakness. I think Lisa could have used a weak moment much like Maverick’s mother when she learns of the second pregnancy. Although readers do see Lisa cry in learning she was pregnant, that moment of weakness was swept aside as she pulled herself together quickly in the proceeding chapters. Iesha’s character could have offered more perspective into post-partum depression rather than just simply dipping out of eye-sight. However, in rebuttal, this isn’t their stories and if it was… Iesha would have been an unreliable narrator and could have been seen as an attack on stereotypical black teen girls… Lisa’s perspective would have been too convenient and smooth to engage readers as her life was pretty comfy up until her pregnancy… while Maverick’s mother would have been seen as too soft upon her child and the story may have not been about her grandchild, but rather, her relationship with Moe. All in all, I appreciate and applaud Angie Thomas and her publication of Concrete Rose as it provided insight into male teen pregnancy, the black perspective and transition of boyhood into manhood, and the accurate representation of urban/ghetto/hood lifestyles that can be seen within American society.

See my Goodreads rant!

Did you enjoy reading Concrete Rose? Check out these recommendations!

The Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds – poetry (novel in verse), coming-to-age, gang violence, revenge, psychological

Street Love by Walter Dean Myers – poetry (novel in verse), rap, romance (forbidden love), family troubles

Tyrell by Coe Booth – family troubles, identity, homelessness

The First Part Last by Angela Johnson – teen pregnancy, coming-to-age, adulthood

Bloody Seoul by Sonia Patel – gang violence, Korea, coming-of-age

[hardcore-homemaker]

Name Change

The New Year inadvertently came with a crap ton of learning and growth. I'm not really into the whole "New Year, New Me" thing. But my best friend just had her first baby on the 31st and I. Cried.

I'm not an emotionally demonstrative person. I've been pretty dedicated to crying alone in bathrooms. #goals

But I just broke down in tears when I held her and saw her beautiful face and her tiny nose and... here. Take a look.

Gets you right in the ovaries, doesn't it?

Weirder than that, for the next 48 hours, every time I thought about holding her I started tearing up. Now, I HAVE a 2 yo son, and I adore him. I love him more now than I did when he was born. Tbh I didn't like him as a newborn. He was kind of a soul sucking parasite. Now he's my buddy. So it's not like I don't have a kid to love.

Anyway, after weeping all my feelings out to my husband, consisting in no particular order of:

She was just so cute and tiny!

I wish I could've done my pregnancy and post-partum time better.

It's terrifying to think of having another child.

I wish I had a daughter so I could braid her hair.

I loved seeing that older brother play with his little brother so sweetly.

I stayed up way too late on NYE.

I need a nap.

I'm so proud of [best friend]!!

They're doing so well and I love them so much.

He said to me quite succinctly: "It sounds like you're ready to have another baby."

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not jump to any wild conclusions. No matter how accurate they may be seem.

We kept talking and he pointed out that I'm basically perfectly suited to two different avenues for my life.

1. High Power Career Woman

2. Kick-@$$ Homemaker

I like excellence. If I choose to do something, I'm so competitive, I want to be REALLY GOOD at it.

At this point in my life, being home with my son full time and not holding any other kind of formal employment, High Power Career Woman isn't really an option. God really seems to be leading me towards being a wife, mother and homemaker.

I had not realized in that moment how much I was fighting that. I grew up in a very family-centric home with many many younger siblings. I was pretty convinced that I just didn't want that anymore. I had my fill and I was ready to move on to other things.

But suddenly it clicked. Homemaking is my high power career. It's my full time job, and I've been treating it like an unwanted hobby.

I think part of it is because I'm not a terribly soft-feminine or domestic person. I like leather jackets and 80s rock and big hair and I wear lots of black. I mean, look at my Halloween costumes for our church event the last 3 years. (80s rocker outfit felt like wearing my true self)

I'll probably never be someone who wears a frock and pinafore, and gathers sunflowers in my apron. So seeing myself in a homemaking role has been difficult. But I'm realizing that my unique intense skill set can be put to use in my home in my own way. And to great benefit to my family. It doesn't have to be soft and frothy and pink. It can be hardcore and messy and efficient and fueled by passionate love for what I do.

So I'm making some changes. Not because it's a New Year, but because it's time to make some changes. It's time to start taking my role as a homemaker seriously. Not because it's traditional, or it's women's work, but because it's MY work. It's the responsibility God's given me, so I'm going to do it to the best of my ability.

(p.s. I'm using the term "homemaking" to encompass the tasks and privileges of being a stay at home wife and mother who's active in the church and the lives of my friends and family. Just for the sake of clarity.)

[is6621]

Hey Facebook—Am I Pregnant?

amandahassettbc

By Amanda Hassett

Everyday consumers are inundated with promises from emerging technologies to help make our lives easier—Amazon can deliver almost anything, Uber has revolutionized local travel, and Open Table has taken the headache out of finding dinner reservations on a busy Saturday night. Most consumers embrace the convenience of these technologies without much thought to the consequences of the information they are sharing and who has access to it. We trust firms to handle our private information with the utmost care and respect for privacy…but what happens when that is not the case? Privacy International, a UK advocacy group, shared a report this week which detailed period and fertility tracking apps, most notably Maya and MIA, have been sharing a wide range of highly personal and sensitive information with, of course, Facebook…

Millions of women around the world have embraced these apps to help track their menstrual cycles and monthly fertility windows. For the app to provide the most accurate results for its user, it relies on women to input a wide variety of personal data including, daily mood, sexual activity, contraception usage, and symptoms such as tiredness and even acne breakouts. Thanks to Facebook’s Software Development Kits (SDK), a product which allows app developers to track analytics and monetize their apps through Facebook’s advertising networks, the information inputted by its female customers was shared directly with the social media juggernaut for strategically ad targeting. The major criticism lies in the fact these apps were not forthcoming with their use of the SDK and certain customer information was shared with Facebook before users even had an opportunity to review and agree to the apps “terms and conditions.”

Once again, the world’s largest social media platform with 1.2 billion daily users, finds itself in the middle of a user privacy debacle. After last year’s Cambridge Analytics scandal along with other accounts of misinformation, allowance of fake accounts, and consumer breaches of trust, Facebook has attempted to take steps in better protecting its users’ data. In a statement responding to the Privacy International report Facebook offered:

          Its terms of service prohibit app developers from sharing health or sensitive data, and that it has been in contact with Maya and MIA to notify them of a possible violation of those terms. We have systems in place to detect and delete certain types of data such as SSN, passwords, and other types of personal data. We have begun looking at ways to improve our system and products to detect and filter out more potentially sensitive data…

With apps not being held to the same standards as the health care industry in terms of patient/user privacy, serious concerns have been raised over who ultimately has access to this type of data and the oversight of properly securing it.    

It’s not just advertisers who’d love to get their hands on this type of medical data, but employers and insurance companies have aggressively pushed to collect more and more data on their employees under the guise of corporate wellness. Imagine if a potential employer had access to medical information for job candidate which confirmed she was actively trying to get pregnant, how many firms would not hire her to avoid the complexities of having an employee on maternity leave within her first year at the firm…? Access to this type of data would allow insurance companies to discriminate against certain women by charging higher premiums for those most likely to conceive to offset the costs associated with pregnancy, delivery, and post-partum care.

Customers have placed trust in apps like Maya and MIA with their personal health information and fully expected it to be protected and secured. In today’s data-driven society, firms go through great length to collect all available data on their customers to gain awareness and achieve a competitive advantage. Is it even reasonable for consumers to have expectations of privacy or do companies need to step up their data discretion game and start showing more respect towards their customers?

Ladies, if data sharing like this have you seriously concerned there’s nothing wrong with an old school calendar stored in your nightstand to help you keep track of your personal business…just sayin’.

Sources:

https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-49647239

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/meghara/period-tracker-apps-facebook-maya-mia-fem?utm_source=dynamic&utm_campaign=bffbbuzzfeed&ref=bffbbuzzfeed

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2019/09/10/these-apps-may-have-told-facebook-about-last-time-you-had-sex/?arc404=true&noredirect=on

[molicioushat]

How Ladies Die

An Analysis on Women and Their Deaths in A Song of Ice and Fire series

Preface

A year or two ago I read @joannalannister‘s post on the statistics of women dying in childbirth in ASOIAF and the historical  numbers.  And I was quite struck by this line: 

“The only way I could say whether GRRM’s share of female deaths in childbirth is higher or lower than the predicted 7% is if I had the total number of women in Westeros who die in childbirth versus the total number of female deaths, which isn’t a statistic I have.”  

So I started wondering how those numbers might have looked.  Of course I put that thought to the back of my head and moved on.  

And then this post came up more recently and I started thinking about it again.  I had been plowing through Fire and Blood and I was quite upset at Queen Alyssa Targaryen’s death, especially since I love ariel2me’s fics on Robar and Alyssa, (and I’m very upset at having those headcanons torn asunder, thanks grrm).  So I’m sitting there mulling over all this when I thought, “why don’t I make this list?” 

And I did.  I complied every woman I could find into this list.  And it is depressing.  And then I went and combed through the books to find women who died in other ways.  And it was depressing.  Because it was just so much violence.  Women were being raped and murdered all over the Riverlands.  War is hell and the innocents suffered the most, women and smallfolk, but especially if you were both.  I had to take a break from it, it was so awful.  

But I did it.  I made the lists.  So we can now analyze the data.

Analysis

Childbirth, and Dead Women  

These are most complete lists at this moment of 1/11/19  Now I might have missed some but we’re going to run with the data I have at this moment.  In the future, after we get more material, I may make more lists and another analysis.  

My method was to search the words, childbirth, childbed, labor, miscarried, miscarriage, killed, drowned, murdered, to find characters who died.  In addition, there were characters, like Queen Naerys for example, who I remembered off  the top of my head.  There are plenty of women who have died that we have no clue how they have died, such as Queen Mariah Martell, and the Unnamed Princess of Dorne.  Both are dead but we don't know how they died.  So I didn’t included them, though I probably should have.  I also didn't include women I suspected died from complications or partially due to childbirth, such as Lady Ashara Dayne, and Lady Waynwood, wife to Ser Denys Arryn.  Lady Ashara died from suicide, perhaps complicated by a post-partum depression?  And Lady Waynwood died from “grief” according to Littlefinger, and her newborn son died not long after her.  

As Ladies Die in Childbed has a total of 31 women 

As Ladies Die Part 1 has a total of 75 women

As Ladies Die in Part 2 has a total of 73 women

In total that is 179 Women

I would like to state that this is only a sample of the population of women.  As a sample this is not the complete picture, but it’s the best we have so far.  (Polling date pre-elections are based on a sample group of people meant to represent the population, but it’s not always accurate.)

Now we can take the 31 who died in Childbirth and then find the percentage out of the total 179 women.  We would arrive at 17.32% which is higher than @joannalannister‘s predicted 7%.  That's even higher than the 10% maternal mortality rate suggested by the Encyclopedia of Children and Childhood in History.

Okay, so let’s try and see if we get better number with only the women* who had children and how many pregnancies, and how many died.  So we have 136 pregnancies, and 26 women who died in relation to childbirth.  That’s a rate of 19.12%.  That’s even worse than the previous result!

Now I could add women like Queen Mariah Martell into my calculations, but I would like to stick with the data we have right now.  I could mess with the data a bit more but I think I’ve stretched it as far as I can.  So that leaves us with a 17.32% to 19.12% death rate.  That’s almost 1 in 5 women dying from childbirth.  That is just way too high!!  We know grrm can’t math but this is unacceptable.  I’m hoping we get more information in Fire and Blood volume 2 that will tilt the scale more towards, the 7% number, especially since we have the Great Spring Sickness.  I will say I am not looking forward to slogging thru TWOW, because it’s probably going to increase Ramsay’s kill count (and no one wants that) and that will be depressing to read.  Which would make this even more depressing.  

Feel free to use this data however you want.  If you want to try and calculate differently, please do, just link the pages if you decide to use them.  Also if you feel I missed someone please message me.  They won't be added to the current lists but they will be on the next ones.  

*note I will post the list of women I included for this if anyone wants, just can’t do it now.  

[amandahassettbc-blog]

Hey Facebook—Am I Pregnant?

By Amanda Hassett

Everyday consumers are inundated with promises from emerging technologies to help make our lives easier—Amazon can deliver almost anything, Uber has revolutionized local travel, and Open Table has taken the headache out of finding dinner reservations on a busy Saturday night. Most consumers embrace the convenience of these technologies without much thought to the consequences of the information they are sharing and who has access to it. We trust firms to handle our private information with the utmost care and respect for privacy…but what happens when that is not the case? Privacy International, a UK advocacy group, shared a report this week which detailed period and fertility tracking apps, most notably Maya and MIA, have been sharing a wide range of highly personal and sensitive information with, of course, Facebook…

 Millions of women around the world have embraced these apps to help track their menstrual cycles and monthly fertility windows. For the app to provide the most accurate results for its user, it relies on women to input a wide variety of personal data including, daily mood, sexual activity, contraception usage, and symptoms such as tiredness and even acne breakouts. Thanks to Facebook’s Software Development Kits (SDK), a product which allows app developers to track analytics and monetize their apps through Facebook’s advertising networks, the information inputted by its female customers was shared directly with the social media juggernaut for strategically ad targeting. The major criticism lies in the fact these apps were not forthcoming with their use of the SDK and certain customer information was shared with Facebook before users even had an opportunity to review and agree to the apps “terms and conditions.”  

 Once again, the world’s largest social media platform with 1.2 billion daily users, finds itself in the middle of a user privacy debacle. After last year’s Cambridge Analytics scandal along with other accounts of misinformation, allowance of fake accounts, and consumer breaches of trust, Facebook has attempted to take steps in better protecting its users’ data. In a statement responding to the Privacy International report Facebook offered:

           Its terms of service prohibit app developers from sharing health or sensitive data, and that it has been in contact with Maya and MIA to notify them of a possible violation of those terms. We have systems in place to detect and delete certain types of data such as SSN, passwords, and other types of personal data. We have begun looking at ways to improve our system and products to detect and filter out more potentially sensitive data…

With apps not being held to the same standards as the health care industry in terms of patient/user privacy, serious concerns have been raised over who ultimately has access to this type of data and the oversight of properly securing it.    

It’s not just advertisers who’d love to get their hands on this type of medical data, but employers and insurance companies have aggressively pushed to collect more and more data on their employees under the guise of corporate wellness. Imagine if a potential employer had access to medical information for job candidate which confirmed she was actively trying to get pregnant, how many firms would not hire her to avoid the complexities of having an employee on maternity leave within her first year at the firm…? Access to this type of data would allow insurance companies to discriminate against certain women by charging higher premiums for those most likely to conceive to offset the costs associated with pregnancy, delivery, and post-partum care. 

Customers have placed trust in apps like Maya and MIA with their personal health information and fully expected it to be protected and secured. In today’s data-driven society, firms go through great length to collect all available data on their customers to gain awareness and achieve a competitive advantage. Is it even reasonable for consumers to have expectations of privacy or do companies need to step up their data discretion game and start showing more respect towards their customers?

Ladies, if data sharing like this have you seriously concerned there’s nothing wrong with an old school calendar stored in your nightstand to help you keep track of your personal business…just sayin’.

 Sources:

https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-49647239

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/meghara/period-tracker-apps-facebook-maya-mia-fem?utm_source=dynamic&utm_campaign=bffbbuzzfeed&ref=bffbbuzzfeed

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2019/09/10/these-apps-may-have-told-facebook-about-last-time-you-had-sex/?arc404=true&noredirect=on

[goddessofroyalty]

(part 1) do u think anakin would go thru postpartum depression? i imagine his delivery to be pretty bad, like he had to be stitched up after he got 3rd degree tears & he had postpartum bleeding + incontinence for a WHOLE month afterwards so that sucks and on top of that he can’t sleep uninterrupted cos he has to breastfeed two babies like every two hours because they have different feeding times.

(part 2)He’s also the one doing most of the chores and taking care of the babies (changing diapers, bathing, attending to them when they’re crying etc.) because obi-wan and padme are just too busy & come home v late. poor anakin is just exhausted.             

(part 3) Also, he used to have a pretty fit body before pregnancy so he would feel sad over the loss of that. His belly is slowly contracting back from being over-extended but there’s still that stubborn belly fat that won’t go away and he wants to cry (because society places so much pressure on fitting its narrow ideals of beauty).            

(part 4)So when the twins are sleeping he orders McDonald’s and gorges on criss-cut fries with cheese sauce and chicken nuggets. Oh, he also has pretty bad diastasis recti so he can’t work out for a few months until they have healed, not that he has the time or energy to anyway. He has anaemia because of the bleeding so he feels extra tired all the time.            

(part 5) 0/10 he hates having to go through pregnancy (even though he loves his two small babies very much) and two children is enough he is never going through all that ever again, after experiencing first-hand how much pregnancy can wreck one’s body.            

(answer under cut)

Okay so I’m startingthis response with an answer to the first question “do I think Anakin would gothrough post-partum depression” and then going on to actually responding.Because, of course, what I personally think doesn’t actually matter the idea isa valid one. Just I feel like I need to state my reasons for my opinion becauseit’s based on a lot of stuff that interests me.

Because personally – Idon’t think he would. And my reasoning for it is a combination of his childhoodand his values. Because Anakin grew up in the slave-quarters of Tatooine andthat means he would have at least a vague awareness that childbirth is notalways some easy task. He would be very aware that childbirth and complicationsfrom it can kill. There is no way to protect him from that knowledge no matterhow much Shmi may want to (if she would want to) because people they knew wouldhave died from childbirth itself or the complications of it. The thing is theslave culture of Tatooine, for better or worse and as accurate as it may be, seemsto be one with a mentality of getting the work done. Sure they don’t like beingheld at literal bomb-in-neck-point to get their work done but the only otheroption is to be killed so no matter how much it sucks you just get on with it.And Anakin in a lot of ways shows he picked up this mentality – yeah he’sFALLING APART for like most of the Clone Wars but at no point does he really go“you know what I’m tapping out. I’m done. Fuck you all.” And he could – leave theorder and go be Padme’s trophy-husband. But he doesn’t – and whether it’sbecause of loyalty to the Jedi, the Republic, or his mother’s wants for him itdoesn’t matter. There is work to be done and he’s going to do it. Finally there’salso the fact that because of his background he doesn’t have the same weight onbeauty-standards. He doesn’t care if he looks good or not so long as his bodyis still able to do what he needs it to then that’s all that really matters.

And then you have to considerhow much Anakin desperately desperately cravesa family and, again, multiple times shows that he’ll throw EVERYTHING away ifit means he can keep them safe. He doesn’t care what it costs him or how muchit harder it makes his life – he wants this and puts so much weight on it thathe’s okay with that. More than okay, ecstatic.

Of course ALL OF THATdoesn’t matter. Partially because this is based on my experiences andbackground (my mother had a difficult birth with both me and my sister and mysister was apparently the worst babyby accounts of everyone who knew her at the time (screamed constantly, didn’tfeed well, got sick within a month of being born) and my mother often says ifit wasn’t for how much she wanted children she probably would have wanted tokill her and yet she went out of her way to have me) and someone else without myexperience and background will come to a completely different but equally validconclusion. Partially because depression doesn’t really care if you have everyreason in the word to not be it, you’ll still be in.

Now back on topic.

I will stand by I don’tthink Anakin would get the depression because of how bad the birth is. I justfeel like that would be the thing he’d put weight on once he’s in the depressedstate. The fact that he’s feeling isolated and overwhelmed isn’t causing him tofeel like crap but it sure as hell isn’t HELPING. It’s just making his shitmental state more shit – like a horrible spiral of bleh.

Because I mean Anakinprobably has been dealing with on-and-off depression for most of his life. Buthe has coping mechanisms (healthy or not is a different question). And it’sthose mechanisms he’s cut off from in being unable to get up and tinker withdroids or spar or doing anything physical. Without them he doesn’t know how todeal with his depression and it just fucks him up worse.

So he doesn’t want to havemore kids because he doesn’t want to go there mentally again. Because Anakin wantsto be the best parent possible (again he LOVES his family and would giveanything for them). He’d prefer to just focus on Luke and Leia and making surehe’s giving them the best he can than have another child and be in such a funkfor so long again, especially if Luke and Leia are older and therefore moreable to be effected by it.

[lisatleary]

Pregnancy Related Diastasis of the Rectus Abdominus

DRAM/DRA is the acronym for diastasis of the rectus abdominus muscle, which is a separation between the left and right halves of the rectus abdominus through widening for the central ligament known as the linea alba (LA). This increase in inter-rectus distance (IRD) has been shown to be present in 27%-100% of women during the second and third trimester of pregnancy and up to 68% of women in the post-partum period (Hilde, Tennfjord, Sperstad & Engh., 2017). Currently, there are only a small amount of research trials investigating this condition. There is no evidence that confirms that there are any risk factors for developing a DRAM (Gluppe, et al., 2018). “Natural resolution and greatest recovery of DRAM occurs between 1 day and 8 weeks after delivery, after which time recovery plateaus” (Benjamin, van de Water & Peiris., 2014, p.1).

It is suggested that increasing the distance between the rectus abdominus muscle through a DRAM may lead to reduced lower back and pelvic stability and be related to the development of urinary incontinence, pelvic organ prolapse and pelvic floor muscle (PFM) weakness. For this reason, research trials have aimed to explore the impact of pelvic floor and abdominal muscle training on the recovery of DRAM, but conclusive evidence is yet to be found showing a direct correlation between DRAM severity and back pain and/or PFM dysfunction. Despite this, physiotherapists continue to offer pelvic floor muscle training and abdominal muscle strengthening exercises as a treatment for patients. I, am one of those. After reading the available research, it appears that while there is no reported risk in providing patients with these exercises, it cannot be conclusively know that performing them will lead to a faster recovery. There is also no evidence suggesting that one exercise program is superior to another.

Questions raised

What is the ideal assessment?

What is the ideal exercise program?

What is the ideal frequency for completing the exercise program?

WHAT IS THE IDEAL ASSESSMENT OF A DRAM?

>2.7cm at the level of the umbilicus is considered pathological (Benjamin, et al., 2014). Smaller levels of widening are considered physiological.

Finger palpation

“Assessment with finger breadth has been found to have an intra- and inter-observer ICC value of 0.7 and 0.5, respectively.” (Hilde, Tennfjord, Sperstad & Engh., 2017, p. 717)

Cut off of ≥ 2 fingers width 4.5cm above, at the level of, and 4.5cm below the umbilicus (Benjamin, van de Water & Peiris., 2014; Gluppe, et al., 2018).

The position is in supine with knees bent and feet flat. Some authors have arms across chest. (I learnt with hands below lower back.)

The movement performed by the patient during assessment is a small sit up only until the level of the shoulder blades.

Categorising DRAM (Gluppe et al., 2018)

Normal < 2 fingers

Mild DRAM 2-3 fingers

Moderate DRAM 3-4 fingers

Severe DRAM >4 fingers

Ultrasound measurement

Test-retest reliability ICC of 0.83-0.95 above the umbilicus and 0.5-0.85 below the umbilicus. (Benjamin et al., 2014).

The reliability is highly dependent on the operator.

Benjamin et al (2014) pose a valid question that all clinicians should consider: are we using assessment to diagnose the presence of a DRAM or to monitor change in DRAM width over time?

As a diagnostic tool, palpation and ultrasound can be used. i.e is a DRAM present or not?

As a monitoring tool, palpation is not recommended as an accurate tool and instead U/S, MRI and callipers are preferred.

Clinicians need to be clear about their goals for assessment. Most Physical Therapists continue to use finger palpation in assessment and this is suitable to detect the presence/absence of a DRAM. For monitoring change over time, U/S, MRI or callipers are more suitable assessment tools.

ARE THERE EXERCISES THAT HELP?

Benjamin et al (2014) completed a systematic review to determine the effectiveness of non-surgical interventions for DRAM. Their aims were to understand if exercises could reduce/prevent a DRAM in the ante-natal period? And, if they could reduce DRAM and health-related negative effects of a DRAM in the post-natal period.

The systematic review located 8 studies of various design and ranging levels of study quality. The interventions included abdominal muscle strengthening and provision of an abdominal corset/tubigrip.

It has previously been suggested that exercise during pregnancy can reduce the presence of DRAM development by 35% as well as DRAM width (Chiarello et al., 2005), however after further evaluation, the quality of this trial was low. The conclusion of this SR was that non-specific exercise may or may not help to prevent DRAM or reduce DRAM in the post-natal period.

Since this systematic review in 2014, four additional RCTs have been published looking into this topic. A recent RCT published in the Physical Therapy Journal in April 2018 (Gluppe et al., 2018) looked at the impact of a 16 week training program in addition to daily HEP on the recovery of DRAM. The program involved one supervised class each week and daily PFM as a HEP.  

In this particular study, at the 6 week post-partum period, ~55% of each group were diagnosed with a DRAM. The exercises included in this trial were: draw in on all fours (quadruped), draw in while lying prone, forearm kneeling plank, kneeling side plank, oblique sit up and straight sit up. In each of these six position there were three sets of 8-12 contractions of abdominal muscle activations.

Pelvic floor muscles were trained in 5 different positions. In each position there were 8-12 attempts of a maximum contraction for 6-8 second holds. For the last 4-5 contractions in each position 4-5 fast contractions were added on to the end of each long hold. This can be referred to as long holds and quick flicks. The pelvic floor muscle HEP consisted of 3 sets of 8-12 contractions of maximum holds each day. Further detail of the training program protocol can be found in a separate paper by Bø et al (2017).

DO EXERCISES HAVE AN EFFECT ON DRAM RECOVERY?

The results of this study found that no significant difference in DRAM measurement was found in the test group at 6 months and 12 months post-partum. However, after looking more closely at the study design 2 elements stood out to me.

The first, is that these participants only included vaginal deliveries. With caesarian section being an exclusion criteria (and this is common for all articles I read) there is little know about the recovery of a DRAM in this population.

The second, was that they measures DRAM severity in 4 categories (normal, mild, moderate, severe) and then grouped all DRAMS ≥ 2 fingers into the same group. This means that little is known about the effectiveness of an exercise program on DRAM recovery based on the initial severity.

The presence of a DRAM has not been shown with convincing evidence to result in an increased prevalence of pelvic floor muscle weakness in post-partum women. “No significant differences in PFM function were found between women with or without diastasis at 6 weeks, 6 months, and 12 months postpartum.” (Hilde, Tennfjord, Sperstad & Engh., 2017, p. 718) Therefore, if it is not clearly linked to pelvic organ prolapse, urinary incontinence or pelvic floor muscle dysfunction, should we routinely assess for this problem? Personally I believe that women benefit from an assessment and education of what a DRAM is and provision of safe modification of daily movements. For example, how to get out of deep chairs or out of bed while pregnant so that they do not strain their stomach or lower back.

ARE SIT UPS SAFE?

This is a common question pertaining to the presence of a DRAM during pregnancy and after, because the way in which an abdominal contraction impacts the linea alba is of debate. In 2016, Lee & Hodges conducted a study to explore the impact that contracting the rectus abdominus muscles during a sit up with/without pre-activation of the transversus abdominus muscle (TrA) has on the inter-rectus distance and therefore tensioning through the linea alba.

Although prescription of exercises to narrow the IRD would seem a logical objective of rehabilitation for cosmetic purposes, this may not be the best way to support the abdominal contents. What this study found is that:

People diagnosed with a DRAM with have a wider IRD at rest than those without (makes sense) and that this IRD will be widest at the level of the umbilicus (Lee & Hodges., 2016, p. 583).

During an automatic sit-up (without pre-activation of the TrA), the IRD will narrow and the linea alba will slacken. This may result in bulging of the abdominal contents.

During a sit-up with pre-activation of the TrA, the IRD will not reduce as much but the LA will tighten. This is due to the horizontal orientation of TrA muscle fibers. This pattern was observed in both DRAM and control group participants.

Although pre-activation of the TrA does not reduce the IRD as much, it provides more support to the abdominal contents and this would be visualised by reduced bulging during the sit up movement. So should we be telling women to avoid sit ups post-partum? Perhaps not? I believe that is very important however to educate and teach them about safe technique for performing a sit-up with pre-activation of the TrA to support their abdomen.

OTHER HELPFUL TOOLS

External supports may mimic muscle function and therefore feel supportive. We can use simple supports like tubigrip to more structured abdominal support bands and recovery shorts. Anecdotally, my patients have always loved the support from SRC recovery shorts but I am sure there are many other similar products available. None of them have been evaluated in high quality research trials but again, there is little to no harm that can occur from trying them to improve comfort levels in the post-partum period.

Take away messages:

Be careful with promising results that exercise can speed up recovery beyond the natural healing time frames.

Be realistic with patients that exercises may or may not help. In saying that, exercises have minimal risk and there is no harm in trying.

If a DRAM is present, educate patients about safe biomechanics and movement patterns to prevent unnecessary stress on the abdomen.

*** side note: I was very fortunate to study under Deenika at the Angliss Hospital and everything I know and practice comes from my training during my Women’s health rotations there. This hospital provides excellent pre/post natal exercise and education classes and have a strong focus on the identification of those at risk for developing PND and offering support and treatment for them.

Sian :) - via Rayner and Smale

Sian Smale is an Australian-trained Musculoskeletal Physiotherapist. Sian completed her Bachelor of Physiotherapy through La Trobe University in 2009 and in 2013 was awarded a Masters in Musculoskeletal Physiotherapy through Melbourne University. Since graduating from her Masters program, Sian has been working in a Private Practice setting and writing a Physiotherapy Blog "Rayner & Smale". Prior to moving to San Francisco, Sian worked at Physical Spinal and Physiotherapy Clinic and has a strong background in manual therapy and management of spinal spine, headaches and sports injuries. Since moving to the Bay area, Sian has become a traveling Physiotherapist for the Olympic Winter Institute of Australia, a volunteer faculty member teaching on the Doctorate of Physical Therapy program, and is working as a Physical Therapist at UCSF.

www.siansmale.com

www.raynersmale.com

https://www.facebook.com/Rayner-Smale-707802709299693/

twitter @siansmale

instagram @siansmale_SF

REFERENCES:

Benjamin, D. R., Van de Water, A. T. M., & Peiris, C. L. (2014). Effects of exercise on diastasis of the rectus abdominis muscle in the antenatal and postnatal periods: a systematic review. Physiotherapy, 100(1), 1-8.

Bø, K., Hilde, G., Tennfjord, M. K., Sperstad, J. B., & Engh, M. E. (2017). Pelvic floor muscle function, pelvic floor dysfunction and diastasis recti abdominis: prospective cohort study. Neurourology and urodynamics, 36(3), 716-721.

Chiarello, C. M., Falzone, L. A., McCaslin, K. E., Patel, M. N., & Ulery, K. R. (2005). The effects of an exercise program on diastasis recti abdominis in pregnant women. Journal of Women’s Health Physical Therapy, 29(1), 11-16.

Gluppe, S. L., Hilde, G., Tennfjord, M. K., Engh, M. E., & Bø, K. (2018). Effect of a Postpartum Training Program on the Prevalence of Diastasis Recti Abdominis in Postpartum Primiparous Women: A Randomized Controlled Trial. Physical therapy, 98(4), 260-268.

Keeler, J., Albrecht, M., Eberhardt, L., Horn, L., Donnelly, C., & Lowe, D. (2012). Diastasis recti abdominis: a survey of women's health specialists for current physical therapy clinical practice for postpartum women. Journal of women’s health physical therapy, 36(3), 131-142.

Lee, D., & Hodges, P. W. (2016). Behavior of the linea alba during a curl-up task in diastasis rectus abdominis: an observational study. Journal of orthopaedic & sports physical therapy, 46(7), 580-589.

van de Water, A. T., & Benjamin, D. R. (2014). Measure DRAM with a purpose: diagnose or evaluate. Archives of gynecology and obstetrics, 289(1), 3-4.

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This article was originally posted on themanualtherapist.com

from https://www.themanualtherapist.com/2018/11/pregnancy-related-diastasis-of-rectus.html

from Preferred Rehab - Blog http://rehabherelive.weebly.com/blog/pregnancy-related-diastasis-of-the-rectus-abdominus

[lisamhayes]

The #1 Reason Relationships Fail

Sarah and Scott were both juggling busy careers when she got pregnant. They were nervous but thrilled when they found they were expecting twins. They’d always wanted a big family, so they figured they were just getting a headstart. The twins were born two days after their third anniversary. After a relatively easy pregnancy, they were both surprised how hard it was after everyone came home from the hospital. Six weeks later Sarah was diagnosed with postpartum depression.

Months later Sarah started feeling better. However, feeling better didn’t mean like she felt like herself. Her therapist told her she needed to accept things were never going to be the way they were before the twins. Life was forever changed. Caring for two babies and trying to manage two careers felt like trying to swim through quicksand. However, they did it. Scott changed his schedule at work and took more evening and weekend shifts at the hospital where he worked. Sarah was often up until one or two in the morning working on briefs and filings for her job where she was hoping to make partner at a law firm.

By the time the twins were two-years-old, Sarah finally felt like they were settling in. She was beginning to feel like they had a handle on being a family.

That is until Scott walked in one night after a late shift and told her he wanted a trial separation. He claimed there wasn’t anyone else. He said he didn’t want to see other people. He admitted it didn’t make sense. However, he wanted out, and he was willing to take the twins with him and manage primary care.

Believe it or not, it was Scott who reached out for relationship coaching, after he’d moved into a new house. All he wanted was the answer to one question.

What went wrong? How did the perfect life they shared become separate lives?

The answer is very simple, and it’s not what you might think.

It wasn’t that they fell out of love. It wasn’t the post-partum depression. It wasn’t the stress of having twins. It wasn’t the pressure of family and two careers. It was none of those things exactly.

It was time. Scott and Sarah quit spending any time together and when that happened they quit being a couple, plain and simple. They quit being lovers or even friends because being in a relationship requires one thing more than any other. Time.

Without attention nothing thrives. Relationships are no exception.

Everything that makes a relationship work has one common denominator. Communication takes time. Teamwork takes time. Trust takes time. Sex takes time. You can’t have intimacy or connection without time.

Two ships passing in the night is only romantic in poetry. In real life, those are two lonely people that aren’t going to be in love for long. Scott and Sarah quit spending time together and although their situation seems extreme, it’s not unusual. Lots of couples quit spending time together and then wonder where the spark went.

There are about 1000 reasons that seem incredibly legit for investing time elsewhere while ignoring your relationship. Kids need attention. Work is demanding. Ageing parents get sick. Deadlines loom. Life gets real, and it feels like you don’t have very many choices.

Except you do and if you don’t choose your relationship it won’t last.

I’d be lying if I said it’s always easy. I’m married. I get it. I’m the first person who would say my marriage is my first priority. However, there are days, sometimes too many days in a row where I am not investing the kind of time I should in my marriage. So, I know from experience how quickly a relationship can start to spoil when it’s left unattended. Time is the most finite resource we have. How we spend it is the most accurate indicator of where your priorities are. Time is the most precious gift you can give someone.

If you want to stay together, your relationship needs to go on your agenda first and everything else, and I mean every single thing including kids and work needs to be scheduled around it. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time. However, it does have to be a consistent daily investment in your future.

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Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.

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Things Nobody Has Told You About After Birth

The hard part is over, you’ve picked out a name, read a few, or more, parenting books, watched the childcare videos, and finally gave birth to a sweet and innocent baby. Now, you are wondering what comes next. What should you expect after holding your little one in your arms? There is truly no way to prepare for life after child birth, but there are a couple things you should know. Things that people normally wouldn’t tell you about after birth.

​Changes  After Birth

There are many physical changes associated with pregnancy, but the changes that occur after birth are rarely to never expected by new moms. Your body adjusted to the baby as it grew. Now it’s time for your body to readjust to the birth of that baby. When I had my son, I was under the impression that my baby belly would disappear, or at least shrink down a substantial amount after giving birth. That said, it came as a shock to see that my belly was relatively the same size hours after having my son. It shocked me even more when it resembled a bowl of Jell-O or pudding in texture and movement.

​Changes to your body

The shape of your body also changes during pregnancy, and some of the changes are relatively long lasting. After giving birth to my son, I naturally lost my baby weight due to my active lifestyle. When my weight returned to its’ initial amount, my hips were still two, entire pant sizes larger. Different women experience different lasting alterations in the shape of their chests, as well as, their stomachs. The clear majority of these changes are not painful, but some parts of after birth can hurt just a little.

​Pain and Exhaustion

Sometimes you’ll hear that childbirth is painful and exhausting, but that’s a fairly accurate description of after birth, based on my experiences. I felt sore and I couldn’t quite place where the soreness stemmed from. I felt it from my shoulders down to my thighs, and almost everywhere in between. My chest was sore and heavy, my stomach continued to cramp for a day or two after birth, and every time I moved the soreness in my thighs quickly turned to pain. It was even painful to use the bathroom because of the stinging sensation when I peed.

However, the most prominent, physical aspect of after birth was the exhaustion. Obviously, giving birth takes a lot of energy, but the exhaustion follows you home. You’ll be the primary caregiver of your baby. That means waking up several times a night and sleeping in approximately two and a half hour intervals. This is, physically, perhaps the most lasting part of after birth. My son is two years old and I’m still ready for bed by six o’clock. Each child progresses differently, but it’s common for most mothers to be frequently exhausted until their child sleeps through the night.

Caring for a baby can also be emotionally exhausting.

Your life is changing and your actions are primarily focused on caring for your child. You will be around your young one for the better part of your day. Babies require you to search for the means to calm them and to remain calm yourself. They sense any disruption of peace in their surrounding and become unsettled, so it’s no surprise that many mothers feel out of control and stressed.

Stress will be quite a bit more prominent in your life.

You will still stress over the same things, but when you figure in the cries of a newborn baby, stress can seem to take on a head of its own. Many new mothers tend to overtly worry, which contributes greatly to lack of sleep. Both worrying and lack of sleep are correlated to being stressed.

As well as stress, many mothers will have mood swing due to hormonal changes, in some ways comparable to the first trimester of a pregnancy. This is normal, but It is important to know that there is a line between normal and abnormal moods. Post-partum depression affects many new mothers, but is rarely talked about. Feelings of extreme sadness should be discussed with a doctor. The mothers’ feelings drastically impact their babies’ temperament; babies mirror our own feelings, so unsettled mothers make for colicky babies.

However, your baby will dramatically increase your capacity for love, as well as, improve your understanding of it. The first time I held my tiny, precious baby I was overcome with love. I had never felt such strong feelings for anyone and it was overwhelming. The feeling you will likely experience the first time you see or hold your newborn is impossible to describe with perfect precision, but it can be compared to love in its purest form. It doesn’t compare to any other kind of love and it initiates the special bond a mother has with their child.

Realistically, your life will completely change after giving birth. Everything from your thinking process to your actions will revolve around a new focal point. Being a mother is hard work and it requires a selflessness that can only develop throughout the experience of raising a child.

Being a mother will test your relationships.

Matured and nurtured relationships will more than likely prevail, but your time will be devoted to a new relationship- a relationship between your newborn and yourself. Babies require a large amount of time and attention, so unstable relationships will likely be shaken. After giving birth to my baby, I prioritized my life and gave up some friends, but I also strengthened some friendships and allowed more time for my family. The adjustment of how your time is spent is just the beginning of the change regarding your daily activities.

Your daily activities will inevitably shift.

Some things are hard to do when you have a newborn in tow. Simple activities like going out to dinner or the grocery store will become a hassle. Normal activities will change due to accessibility, and the way you achieve daily tasks will differ. Ultimately you will completely adjust your life to accommodate your little one and even benefit them. In a way, giving birth to a baby inhibits you to seek fulfilling activities for both you and your child.

The search for fulfillment is just one example of change in your thought process. The way you think will adjust to make your baby your primary focus. Most of your thoughts will revolve around the life of your baby and what would be best for them. In situations in which you would typically be concerned with yourself, your child will take priority.

Overall the best part after birth is the way you feel about your child and the promise of a close and satisfying relationship with them. At different times, you will be the entertainment and the entertained, the teacher and the student, the friend, and the parent.

Your baby will be a source entertainment.

They will make you laugh and occasionally cry. You will watch them grow, as well as yourself. You will also make them laugh and amuse them with a game of peek-a-boo or hide-and-go-seek. You’ll teach them things and be full of pride when they learn to do them. They will surprise you and shock you as they grow year by year. You’ll wonder how they’ve gotten so big, and be confused when you realize they’re still so small.

Your baby will be your teacher.

They’ll teach you how to be patient and understanding. You’ll learn how to decipher baby blabber and word salad. Perhaps you will remember the games you used to play and those who played them with you. Soon you will understand the pleasure of seeing your child’s face light up at the perfect gift or their favorite candy. You’ll be intrigued by the stories they tell you and eager to hear about their days.

You’ll be their friend and confidant

They will tell you many of their secrets and relish in the similarities between you. Your child will become a second part of you and they will compel you to understand things from your parents point-of-view. You will become a parent, more than just the word, you will act as one and understand what it means to be one. You will realize that giving birth to your delightful, and at time rambunctious child, was the start of your new and much more satisfying life.

Having a baby is one of the extremely gratifying parts of life, nurturing an infant and watching them grow is surreal, having the opportunity to raise a child and be a role model is incredibly fulfilling. After giving birth your child has a way of making you feel like you were meant to be their parent and a couple of months later you’ll begin to wonder what your life was like before you were their mommy. Mommy will be who you are and you will feel incredibly lucky, even blessed, to have that opportunity.

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