#i love laughing at tankbusters

[humblemooncat]

Ki'to and Thancred for the song meme? - @littlelordalphinaud

Ooh, these two have a fun dynamic. Let's see!

Ki'to and Thancred have been rather close since ARR, like brothers honestly. They've also gone through a similar journey to their tanking days, starting off with DPS that allows them to help from the sidelines, to feeling so powerless after losing a loved one that they grew to take on a far more protective role. And now when they take to the field together, they know that the other has their blind spots covered.

So, to reflect that, especially the fact that they are always there for each other, I would have to go with Army. Honestly it works from both perspectives.

"When your nightmares turn to real life And the grounds filled up with land mines We will face it, standing side by side You know I'll come running"

I could have gone with something more playful to reflect their brotherly nature of goading each other on, but underneath everything they're willing to lay down everything to protect each other and those they both hold dear.

[elfyourmother]

Does Gisele have/slash utilise Dark Knight?

Yes! It’s her canon tank Job. And it’s something really unexpected tbh...it’s the last FF Job I would have picked for her, given they’ve always had the spiky armor/big ass sword/metal thing going on that totally isn’t her at all, and my continued ambivalence about playing a Black lady tank in a game where the overwhelming majority of female PCs are tiny, pale, hyperfeminine white women (and I still feel that way tbh, even though I’ve always enjoyed tanking in various games it really puts a damper on it to the point where sometimes I just can’t). But then I did the quests and the themes just resonated so hard with me, for her story and also on a meta level, especially the ARR portion where WoL is struggling with secret resentments about the responsibilities they’ve taken on (or had put on them), the burdens of being viewed as a capital-H Hero. As a Black woman playing a Black woman character who is constantly doing for others and pushing herself beyond her limits to save everyone all the time...oof. I Felt That.

But it specifically got cemented for me in the HW quests where we learn the key to DRK’s power is love. And the lore fits her so well it hurts. I just stay away from spiky armor and trend more shoujo with her outfits, which also helps a lot with the optics thing. (All of the Neo-Ishgardian gear looks amazing on Gisele but the Tank set is specifically a godsend for this reason)

The thing is, the way she experiences the story necessarily has to be different because of how different her story goes--especially the SB quests, because the grief Gisele is carrying necessarily has to come from a different place than the canon story, but it still works just as well if not more so because of her backstory in Thedas. She has plenty of pain to draw from, it just comes from a much different place. I love Sidurgu and Rielle to death so I don’t want to throw it out completely but I still need to suss a lot of things out. Cause my one criticism of the canon story is that trying to reconcile the 50s portion with the HW MSQ really makes no sense at all to me given WoL’s friendship with Aymeric, and that’s a problem AST doesn’t have. The whole time I was like “why tf don’t we get the Lord Commander involved”. And it makes even less sense to me specifically with Gisele, given her particular closeness to Aymeric (during HW MSQ they’re in love with each other but stuck on pining for stupid but noble reasons, they don’t actually become a Thing until near the end of Dragonsong). So there’s reworking I need to do.

Also balance wise it’s great because it means all but 1 tank Jobs are repped on the First (Haurche is a Paladin in my hc and all his Holy/Light powers come from lingering aetheric weirdness from his old injury). And from a thematic standpoint the fact that DRK is the iconic Job for ShB makes so much sense if you’ve done all the quests, not just because of the Warrior of Darkness thing, it actually goes way deeper than that. DRK is such an incredible narrative foil for the Ascians, with their inability to cope with the pain of what they lost and move on from it (particularly Emet). It feels very intentional considering the same writer was responsible for both stories. When you take away the edgelord-y trappings, the whole DRK storyline is really just about doing Shadow work in the spiritual sense, hard and ugly as it sometimes can be. And that’s something that was previously lacking in Gisele’s narrative that really needs to be there given her specific journey as Warrior of Varying Luminosity.

[dreaming-gamer]

DMC Week Day 7: College AU

For my final entry for DMC week, I chose to write the trio as college students playing Final Fantasy XIV – Nero, V & Nico.

A self-indulgent AU fic (haven’t played Final Fantasy XIV in years) based on a few college headcanons.

Thank you to everyone and all that’s read my works during this week! Your support means a lot ❤️❤️❤️ Here we go, hope you enjoy!

Nero as Warrior, tank

Nico as Machinist, damage dealer

V as Summoner, damage dealer

***

Nero nervously stared at his health-bar steadily going down as attack after attack scratched down his life despite all the buffs his character had on. The controller vibrated furiously in his hands, his jaw clenched. The boss would be dead at any second and the healer was trying their best but the bad connection they had so far had was making Nero nervous. Wasn’t a heal long overdue? Weren’t their character just standing still?

“If you perish, I got Resurrection ready.” V said, his voice ever so calm that it actually made Nero grin. Was he ever happy he’d gotten himself this new headset that let him regulate game and party sounds separately? Yeah, they were in a bad spot, but the boss was so close to dead now. They’d get through it.

“Nico!” He called the second the limit break chime could be heard in his headset.

“On it!” Nero could basically hear the buttons on her controller being slammed, together with her laughter. “Eat this!” Nico’s machinist character pulled out the crossbow, ready for the shot that would send the boss to oblivion.

“Dammit!” Nero shifted his character as an AoE marker appeared under his feet, along with certain death as his health was reaching less than 5000. Even if V revived him instantly, Nero as the tank dying now might just spell their doom.

The boss inched after him, leaving the indicated line of Nico’s limit break. Winds whipped around their characters, but they all managed to avoid more injury.

“Whoa, whatcha doing?!” Nico exclaimed in disbelief.

“Just aim again!” Thrill of Battle was back off cooldown, restoring some of his health. Sweet.

“It got used up, asshole! Healer dc’ed!” Nico’s voice snapped his focus back. Another buff off cooldown and he used it.

“What?!” Did that have to happen at this crucial moment? One quick glance at the party list said ??? for the healer’s status.

“Nero, your Holmgang should be ready for use. Just hold on.” V calmly stated and Nero blinked as he realized V was right. Had he been counting seconds since the last four minutes??

“Fuck!” The progress bar over the boss’ life told him a tankbuster was coming. Nero waited, his finger on the trigger for Holmgang, his sweet 6-seconds of almost invincibility to save him if needed. He pushed the button, the bright orange line above the boss filled the entire way, the hit connected, the controller in his hands vibrating valiantly. Hit points sailing down to zero. Swears bubbled up in his chest, flowed out of him like a sailor when the boss started to move towards Nico. But it had sooo little HP left!

“I pushed the button, I swear!” Nero shouted in disbelief, heart pounding in his chest, did they really have to redo this??

A sharp blast of white light engulfed the boss, sending it to the ground and the screen faded to black for a second before the victory cutscene played, with Nero’s own character magically on his feet. This was why he loved having V as a summoner on their team.

“Freaking finally! We did it!” Nico celebrated. Nero grinned, feeling as if a stone lifted off his shoulders.

“Let’s check gear!”

“No healer means one less to compete with!” Nico singsonged, letting her character put her grabby hands on the treasure chest. A healer chestpiece popped up on screen. Nero’s sigh was mimicked by Nico, none of them were a healer, not even close. At least there was a Strength ring for him to grab.

Nero blinked as the notifications told him V had grabbed the healer chestpiece. Unprompted, the summoner spoke.

“Perhaps I should go as a scholar, for our next dungeon. Our luck with healers tonight has been… less than fruitful.”

“Nah man, continue with summoner if you want, we’ll be--”

“Do it!” Nico stated on the top of her lungs, her microphone bumping into her chin as she grabbed for a cigarette. “I wanna see the end of the next dungeon tonight!”

“I can go paladin for extra heals.” Nero shrugged, even if neither of his companions could see it.

“And give up that sweet damage, really?” Nico teased, making Nero huff.

“I can play defensively every once in a while.”

“Uh huh…” Nico snickered, while all he heard from V was a chuckle.

“What, I can! Come on, let’s go to the next one!” Nero prompted and grabbed for his soda, eager to go again. Leaning his head back for a sip, there were just two drops meeting his tongue. Damn, when had his beverage run out?

“As… enjoyable as progressing further would be, I am fairly certain you both have lectures in the morning?” V said matter-of-factly while there was a weak rustling of a book page being turned coming from his microphone.

“Yeah, so? I can do it for a bit longer--” Nero started, checking his phone for time. It was waaay too late! “It’s already FIVE?!”

Dry coughing made it clear Nico had just swallowed smoke.

“Y-y-yer…” Cough. “kid-ding!”

“Hell no!” Nero exclaimed.

“Why didn’t ya say somethin’?!” Nico coughed at the sole calm person.

“I did try to, both at one and three o’clock. You both were a bit too… absorbed in what we were doing.” V calmly stated, making Nero groan, oh yeah, they might have been into everything. It wouldn’t be the first time…

“I gotta scram, I’ve got an exam tomor-- today!” With that, Nico’s character was logged out, her voice chat icon offline.

Nero sighed.

“Hope that works out for her. What about you V?” The sign out option showed up at the click of a menu and Nero clicked himself out, the calming music of the title screen trickling through his second-hand headset that smelled of energy drink. At most he’d be able to get what, two hours of sleep? Was it even worth it at this point?

“I will attempt to sleep. I do not have a lecture until the afternoon.”

“Lucky you, vampire.” Nero snorted, his dormmate’s chuckle meeting his ears. “Catch you at lunch then?”

“If I have awakened until then, yes.”

“Great.” Nero knew he should log off, get some sleep. But damn, he didn’t feel sleepy at all. He knew something would keep him up, if he went now.

“Hey V?” He tried, hoping the other hadn’t shut off his headset just yet.

“Yes Nero?” V didn’t sound bothered by the quiet inquiry, despite being about to head to sleep. Nero inhaled, through his nose.

“I told you my grade dropped a bit, right? From last exam?” During the day, he brushed it off, no problem. But at night, it was hard to not feel some… nervousness over what could happen, if his grades dropped too much. Nero needed to keep it up, if he wanted a new scholarship and he not only wanted that scholarship, he needed it so badly to stay.

“Yes.” A pause, followed by V softly closing a book. “Are you worried it might happen again?” He softly asked.

Nero scratched his nose, V even knew before he voiced the issue? He wasn’t sure if he felt relieved or called out.

“Yeah, something like that. I know our subjects are pretty different…” No shit, considering V was reading the classical poems and literary works of people whose names Nero barely could pronounce. But V had great study technique, always fixing his assignments on time, something that Nero had failed to do, several times. He admired that, about the dorm vampire with a love for classical music. V’s voice was always a joy to listen to as well. Maybe he didn’t say everything he was thinking, but his voice was deep, calming at this late hour.

“But, you up for studying together? Someday this week? I think I need someone to help me not procrastinate so much and Nico is not that…” If anything, she either sat with her notes and realized she had found out something brilliant for her own studying, or she was digging the rock music Nero always put on while studying, just as much as he was.

“I don’t mind.” V replied, making Nero grin with relief over having one guy in his corner. “We can start with hiding your headphones. Or your Bluetooth speaker.”

“Right…” Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea, Led Zeppelin did snatch his focus otherwise. Nero let out a small laugh. “But you’ll give the headphones back, right? I need those for my morning runs.”

“Hmm, perhaps.” His dormmate teased.

“Or you’ll come along on my morning runs to keep me company?” Nero tried, he had given hints to get V to join him in the fresh air, the early morning sun for weeks now.

“Too chilly for me, I’m afraid.” Was the soft reply. “I will retire for now, Nero. Do try to get some sleep.”

“Yeah, fine… Thanks V.” Nero’s eyelids actually felt a bit heavier now.

“You’re welcome. Goodnight. Or perhaps, good morning.” V replied with a chuckle.

Nero groaned, giving a goodnight before ending the voice chat.

[angry-healers]

This just happened to me a few hours ago (I had a nap) and I still burst out laughing everytime I think about it so here goes.

I'm not the healer in this story, although I kinda wish I was. Would have ripped that Tank a new one. Anyway.

So I am levelling SAM right now, because I want the achivement for getting all classes to 70 (and also, to know how they play to A) Help people, and B) Know what cards to give them as an AST).

65 dungeon, Bardam. Or however you spell it in english-

ANYWAY so we load in, it was the last run I needed for my level up to 67, so I was in full 65 dungeon gear.

Healer (AST) is 65, full Shisui gear and 270 augmented shire weapon.

Tank (WAR) is also 65, mix of 260 and Shisui gear.

Okay, no biggie.

Tank pulls big and eats damage like mad, DROPS TANK STANCE when things don't die in 2 seconds (a SAM and BLM as DPS does have some okay AoE, chill man). AST isn't able to DPS as they press every CD they have. We wipe at first pull because TANK STANCE IS FOR LOZERZ apparently.

Before everyone even fully respawned, Tank runs in again. Luckily, they only pull the first 3 mobs, so the healer is able to carry him through it (despite having barely any mana). While the 3 mobs were still alive, the healers Swiftcast > Protects us.

After the mobs die, Tank stops, and goes: "Protect"

I facepalm emote them.

"PROTECT"

Healer: "? it's on"

Tank: "oh whoops XDD"

Fast forward to the last boss.

Note that all the while, Tank dropped Tankstance after pulling, causing him to turn even more into paper.

So we wipe once, because Tank doesn't look away at the eyemark and kills me, while dying himself do to standing in AoE while still confused. Healer rezzes Tank, but they and the BLM die shortly after do to the Tank trying to get aggro back without Tankstance.

Try #2

Tank doesn't look away at eye AGAIN. They go for me again, stand in AoE due to confusion AGAIN and die AGAIN.

"HEALER WTF??"

So I decide to say something.

"Do mechanics and look away at the eye maybe > > It's not the healer's fault"

Tank gets rezzed (SAM tanking and Noct shields yaaay), vokes aggro off of me.

AND THEN. OK AND THEN! They get petty.

Just before the Tankbuster hits, they shirk me, causing me to have aggro and die from the tankbuster.

All I said was "Shirk. Cute <3"

Only problem: BLM had more aggro than them (BECAUSE NO TANK STANCE EVER NOPE MUH WAR DEEPS), and almost died as well.

Healer rezzed me, and we carried the babybubu tank through the last 10%, aggro all over the place.

Boss dies.

Tank goes "this was"

and probably wanted to write more about how much the healer sucked and blahblah 'I have a tiny dick and low self-esteem blahblah' mimimimi

Before there was more of them in chat, I said "Love tanks who cant tank and get petty like a 5 year old lol" and just left because I lost braincells just being near them.

TL;DR Tankstance is for losers, WARs are blue DPS and perfect, Tank ego is hilariously fragile, Tank too dumb for mechanics and decides to blame healer.

Most hilarious thing about all this?

Tank was from Odin, one of the elitist progamer high-end focused serves from the Chaos datacenter.

A true pro indeed.

And now, the weather.