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#i love the way they expanded the ghostbusters lore and i REALLY love what they did with this guy
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Oghh
Save me Nadeem Razmaadi. Light the candle. Nadeem. Firemaster. Save me. Ogh.
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hopeymchope · 6 months
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Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire is the best Ghostbusters *thing* released since 2009.
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In yet another one of my wacky minority opinions, apparently, I think Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire is fucking GREAT.
Background: Ye olde Ghostbusters movies were something I grew up on and always loved. I even used to watch "The Real Ghostbusters" reruns. And like many fans, I adore the 2009 video game (now available in a Remaster!).
Then we got the 2016 reboot, and you know something? In spite of all the hate it gets, I enjoyed it! I thought it was funny more often than it wasn't... the theatrical version, that is. The "Extended Cut" they put on Blu-Ray later is like, loaded with alternate takes and extended scenes that are painfully awkward and unfunny IMO. But the theatrical cut is a pretty fun time, albeit a bit lacking in new ideas.
I was basically the prime audience for 2021's Ghostbusters: Afterlife, and... I really, really didn't like it. Because: 1) It's not very funny at all? The "Podcast" character was funny and Paul Rudd gets a couple moments, but it's too busy being sentimental about callbacks to the old movies and memorializing Harold Ramis to focus on comedy. 2) The other half of the movie is a blatant nostalgic retread of the original Ghostbusters, except now in a small town instead of New York. Imagine if half of The Force Awakens was focused on blowing up another Death Star, and you'll get it. 3) Why are ALL the new Ghostbusters children? I get that the series gained a lot of kid fans along the way, but the original was never aimed at kids. Doesn't this feel like a backslide, to make the entire new team be under 18? 4) You're telling me that Egon never told Ray that Gozer was returning? Or that Ray wouldn't believe him? *EXTREMELY* OUT OF CHARACTER FOR BOTH, FUCK THAT. And that NO GHOSTS have showed up for DECADES for no fucking reason? THANKS FOR RUINING ALL OUR IMAGININGS OF INTERIM ADVENTURES. I will say, at least, that the performances were all good, and there are some heartwarming moments in here; Egon's apperance near the end and the credits scene with Dana stand out.
....but here comess Frozen Empire to save the day.
We get a returning cast of both ADULT and KID Ghostbusters... yes, even new adult Ghostbusters! MULTIPLE! Paul Rudd and Carrie Coon get upgraded into the family business, and there's even a plot point centered on whether CHILDREN should be allowed into such dangerous work.
There are ghosts randomly running around even when there's no greater threat pushing them forth; no reason is given for the change in lore, but I don't care because THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD'VE BEEN.
A lot of ideas that me and other fans have often discussed/pondered over the years ("Are there any friendly ghosts who fear the Ghostbusters? What do the ghostbusters themselves think will happen when THEY die? Will THEY become ghosts, and if so, won't other ghosts hate them? Or will they immediately become as hostile as every other ghost we meet? Or what?") are made not only points of discussion but even MAJOR PLOT EVENTS!
We get a new, NON-REPEAT threat — and frankly, it's a spooky-awesome one?!?!
Extensive comedy BACK and ACTUALLY FUCKING FUNNY! (IMO, anyway. Humor is subjective, I know. But they do it while still including good dramatic character development with genuinely touching scenes plus legitimately strong spooks.)
The returning classic GBs are not only in-character, but Janine gets to put on a uniform and fight alongside the boys, just like in the old cartoons!
Phoebe's character is expanded upon in ways that make her still endearing but much more unique than just "mini-Egon genius" like last time.
GHOSTBUSTERS II GETS ACKNOWLEDGED AS HAVING HAPPENED, THANK YOU. I wish the video game was somehow canon, too, but I guess I can't have everything? I preferred Winston getting his doctorate over him becoming a finance tycoon, but whatevs.
My only real complaint is like: Seriously, y'all never went back to the New York Library to get that library ghost between the open scenes of the 1984 movie and now? :P And... well, I do wish Walter Peck had grown and changed as a character since we last saw him, but I've got no other issues. EVERYTHING ELSE IS SO WONDERFUL.
This movie is everything I wish Afterlife had been, and THEN some. And yet... people don't seem to care? The reviews are very "meh"? Despite all these new ideas and great stuff?? Did y'all just want the Ghostbusters to stick to the Midwest from now on or what? Is it too soon for people to want more Ghostbusters? I DON'T GET IT.
Except... well, maybe people just don't care because this is an OLD franchise that failed to get a new movie for like, over 25 years, and people just lost interest in that time? Most adults today probably weren't raised on '80s movies like I was. :P Maybe that's all there is to it.
If this series is gonna die out, though? What a note to end us on.
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holyhellpod · 3 years
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Holy Hell: 3. Metanarrativity: Who’s the Deleuze and who’s the Guattari in your relationship? aka the analysis no one asked for.
In this ep, we delve into authorship, narrative, fandom and narrative meaning. And somehow, as always, bring it back to Cas and Misha Collins.
(Note: the reason I didn’t talk about Billie’s authorship and library is because I completely forgot it existed until I watched season 13 “Advanced Thanatology” again, while waiting for this episode to upload. I’ll find a way to work her into later episodes tho!)
I had to upload it as a new podcast to Spotify so if you could just re-subscribe that would be great! Or listen to it at these other links.
Please listen to the bit at the beginning about monetisation and if you have any questions don’t hesitate to message me here.
Apple | Spotify | Google
Transcript under the cut!
Warnings: discussions of incest, date rape, rpf, war, 9/11, the bush administration, abuse, mental health, addiction, homelessness. Most of these are just one off comments, they’re not full discussions.
Meta-Textuality: Who’s the Deleuze and who’s the Guattari in your relationship?
In the third episode of Season 6, “The Third Man,” Balthazar says to Cas, “you tore up the whole script and burned the pages.” That is the fundamental idea the writers of the first five seasons were trying to sell us: whatever grand plan the biblical God had cooking up is worth nothing in face of the love these men have—for each other and the world. Sam, Bobby, Cas and Dean will go to any lengths to protect one another and keep people safe. What’s real? What’s worth saving? People are real. Families are worth saving. 
This show plugs free will as the most important thing a person, angel, demon or otherwise can have. The fact of the matter is that Dean was always going to fight against the status quo, Sam was always going to go his own way, and Bobby was always going to do his best for his boys. The only uncertainty in the entire narrative is Cas. He was never meant to rebel. He was never meant to fall from Heaven. He was supposed to fall in line, be a good soldier, and help bring on the apocalypse, but Cas was the first agent of free will in the show’s timeline. Sam followed Lucifer, Dean followed Michael, and John gave himself up for the sins of his children, at once both a God and Jesus figure. But Cas wasn’t modelled off anyone else. He is original. There are definitely some parallels to Ruby, but I would argue those are largely unintentional. Cas broke the mold. 
That’s to say nothing of the impact he’s had on the fanbase, and the show itself, which would not have reached 15 seasons and be able to end the way they wanted it to without Cas and Misha Collins. His back must be breaking from carrying the entire show. 
But what the holy hell are we doing here today? Not just talking about Cas. We’re talking about metanarrativity: as I define it, and for purposes of this episode, the story within a story, and the act of storytelling. We’re going to go through a select few episodes which I think exemplify the best of what this show has to offer in terms of framing the narrative. We’ll talk about characters like Chuck and Becky and the baby dykes in season 10. And most importantly we’ll talk about the audience’s role, our role, in the reciprocal relationship of storytelling. After all, a tv show is nothing without the viewer.
I was in fact introduced to the concept of metanarrativity by Supernatural, so the fact that I’m revisiting it six years after I finished my degree to talk about the show is one of life’s little jokes.
 I’m brushing off my degree and bringing out the big guns (aka literary theorists) to examine this concept. This will be yet another piece of analysis that would’ve gone well in my English Lit degree, but I’ll try not to make it dry as dog shit. 
First off, I’m going to argue that the relationship between the creators of Supernatural and the fans has always been a dialogue, albeit with a power imbalance. Throughout the series, even before explicitly metanarrative episodes like season 10 “Fan Fiction” and season 4 “the monster at the end of this book,” the creators have always engaged in conversations with the fans through the show. This includes but is not limited to fan conventions, where the creators have actual, live conversations with the fans. Misha Collins admitted at a con that he’d read fanfiction of Cas while he was filming season 4, but it’s pretty clear even from the first season that the creators, at the very least Eric Kripke, were engaging with fans. The show aired around the same time as Twitter and Tumblr were created, both of which opened up new passageways for fans to interact with each other, and for Twitter and Facebook especially, new passageways for fans to interact with creators and celebrities.
But being the creators, they have ultimate control over what is written, filmed and aired, while we can only speculate and make our own transformative interpretations. But at least since s4, they have engaged in meta narrative construction that at once speaks to fans as well as expands the universe in fun and creative ways. My favourite episodes are the ones where we see the Winchesters through the lens of other characters, such as the season 3 episode “Jus In Bello,” in which Sam and Dean are arrested by Victor Henriksen, and the season 7 episode “Slash Fiction” in which Dean and Sam’s dopplegangers rob banks and kill a bunch of people, loathe as I am to admit that season 7 had an effect on any part of me except my upchuck reflex. My second favourite episodes are the meta episodes, and for this episode of Holy Hell, we’ll be discussing a few: The French Mistake, he Monster at the end of this book, the real ghostbusters, Fan Fiction, Metafiction, and Don’t Call Me Shurley. I’ll also discuss Becky more broadly, because, like, of course I’ll be discussing Becky, she died for our sins. 
Let’s take it back. The Monster At The End Of This Book — written by Julie Siege and Nancy Weiner and directed by Mike Rohl. Inarguably one of the better episodes in the first five seasons. Not only is Cas in it, looking so beautiful, but Sam gets something to do, thank god, and it introduces the character of Chuck, who becomes a source of comic relief over the next two seasons. The episode starts with Chuck Shurley, pen named Carver Edlund after my besties, having a vision while passed out drunk. He dreams of Sam and Dean larping as Feds and finding a series of books based on their lives that Chuck has written. They eventually track Chuck down, interrogate him, and realise that he’s a prophet of the lord, tasked with writing the Winchester Gospels. The B plot is Sam plotting to kill Lilith while Dean fails to get them out of the town to escape her. The C plot is Dean and Cas having a moment that strengthens their friendship and leads further into Cas’s eventual disobedience for Dean. Like the movie Disobedience. Exactly like the movie Disobedience. Cas definitely spits in Dean’s mouth, it’s kinda gross to be honest. Maybe I’m just not allo enough to appreciate art. 
When Eric Kripke was showrunner of the first five seasons of Supernatural,  he conceptualised the character of Chuck. Kripke as the author-god introduced the character of the author-prophet who would later become in Jeremy Carver’s showrun seasons the biblical God. Judith May Fathallah writes in “I’m A God: The Author and the Writing Fan in Supernatural” that Kripke writes himself both into and out of the text, ending his era with Chuck winking at the camera, saying, “nothing really ends,” and disappearing. Kripke stayed on as producer, continuing to write episodes through Sera Gamble’s era, and was even inserted in text in the season 6 episode “The French Mistake”. So nothing really does end, not Kripke’s grip on the show he created, not even the show itself, which fans have jokingly referred to as continuing into its 16th season. Except we’re not joking. It will die when all of us are dead, when there is no one left to remember it. According to W R Fisher, humans are homo narrans, natural storytellers. The Supernatural fandom is telling a fidelitous narrative, one which matches our own beliefs, values and experiences instead of that of canon. Instead of, at Fathallah says, “the Greek tradition, that we should struggle to do the right thing simply because it is right, though we will suffer and be punished anyway,” the fans have created an ending for the characters that satisfies each and every one of our desires, because we each create our own endings. It’s better because we get to share them with each other, in the tradition of campfire stories, each telling our own version and building upon the others. If that’s not the epitome of mythmaking then I don’t know. It’s just great. Dean and Cas are married, Eileen and Sam are married, Jack is sometimes a baby who Claire and Kaia are forced to babysit, Jody and Donna are gonna get hitched soon. It’s season 17, time for many weddings, and Kevin Tran is alive. Kripke, you have no control over this anymore, you crusty hag. 
Chuck is introduced as someone with power, but not influence over the story, only how the story is told through the medium of the novels. It’s basically a very badly written, non authorised biography, and Charlie reading literally every book and referencing things she should have no knowledge of is so damn creepy and funny. At first Chuck is surprised by his characters coming to life, despite having written it already, and when shown the intimidating array of weapons in Baby’s trunk he gets real scared. Which is the appropriate response for a skinny 5-foot-8 white guy in a bathrobe who writes terrible fantasy novels for a living. 
As far as I can remember, this is the first explicitly metanarrative episode in the series, or at least the first one with in world consequences. It builds upon the lore of Christianity, angels, and God, while teasing what’s to come. Chuck and Sam have a conversation about how the rest of the season is going to play out, and Sam comes away with the impression that he’ll go down with the ship. They touch on Sam’s addiction to demon blood, which Chuck admits he didn’t write into the books, because in the world of supernatural, addiction should be demonised ha ha at every opportunity, except for Dean’s alcoholism which is cool and manly and should never be analysed as an unhealthy trauma coping mechanism. 
Chuck is mostly impotent in the story of Sam and Dean, but his very presence presents an element of good luck that turns quickly into a force of antagonism in the series four finale, “Lucifer Rising”, when the archangel Raphael who defeats Lilith in this episode also kills Cas in the finale. It’s Cas’s quick thinking and Dean’s quick doing that resolve the episode and save them from Lilith, once again proving that free will is the greatest force in the universe. Cas is already tearing up pages and burning scripts. The fandom does the same, acting as gods of their own making in taking canon and transforming it into fan art. The fans aren’t impotent like Chuck, but neither do we have sway over the story in the way that Cas and Dean do. Sam isn’t interested in changing the story in the same way—he wants to kill Lilith and save the world, but in doing so continues the story in the way it was always supposed to go, the way the angels and the demons and even God wanted him to. 
Neither of them are author-gods in the way that God is. We find out later that Chuck is in fact the real biblical god, and he engineers everything. The one thing he doesn’t engineer, however, is Castiel, and I’ll get to that in a minute.
The Real Ghostbusters
Season 5’s “The real ghostbusters,” written by Nancy Weiner and Erik Kripke, and directed by James L Conway, situates the Winchesters at a fan convention for the Supernatural books. While there, they are confronted by a slew of fans cosplaying as Sam, Dean, Bobby, the scarecrow, Azazel, and more. They happen to stumble upon a case, in the midst of the game where the fans pretend to be on a case, and with the help of two fans cosplaying as Sam and Dean, they put to rest a group of homicidal ghost children and save the day. Chuck as the special guest of the con has a hero moment that spurs Becky on to return his affections. And at the end, we learn that the Colt, which they’ve been hunting down to kill the devil, was given to a demon named Crowley. It’s a fun episode, but ultimately skippable. This episode isn’t so much metanarrative as it is metatextual—metatextual meaning more than one layer of text but not necessarily about the storytelling in those texts—but let’s take a look at it anyway.
The metanarrative element of a show about a series of books about the brothers the show is based on is dope and expands upon what we saw in “the monster at the end of this book”. But the episode tells a tale about about the show itself, and the fandom that surrounds it. 
Where “The Monster At The End Of This Book” and the season 5 premiere “Sympathy For The Devil” poked at the coiled snake of fans and the concept of fandom, “the real ghostbusters” drags them into the harsh light of an enclosure and antagonises them in front of an audience. The metanarrative element revolves around not only the books themselves, but the stories concocted within the episode: namely Barnes and Demian the cosplayers and the story of the ghosts. The Winchester brothers’s history that we’ve seen throughout the first five seasons of the show is bared in a tongue in cheek way: while we cried with them when Sam and Dean fought with John, now the story is thrown out in such a way as to mock both the story and the fans’ relationship to it. Let me tell you, there is a lot to be made fun of on this show, but the fans’ relationship to the story of Sam, Dean and everyone they encounter along the way isn’t part of it. I don’t mean to be like, wow you can’t make fun of us ever because we’re special little snowflakes and we take everything so seriously, because you are welcome to make fun of us, but when the creators do it, I can’t help but notice a hint of malice. And I think that’s understandable in a way. Like The relationship between creator and fan is both layered and symbiotic. While Kripke and co no doubt owe the show’s popularity to the fans, especially as the fandom has grown and evolved over time, we’re not exactly free of sin. And don’t get me wrong, no fandom is. But the bad apples always seem to outweigh the good ones, and bad experiences can stick with us long past their due.
However, portraying us as losers with no lives who get too obsessed with this show — well, you know, actually, maybe they’re right. I am a loser with no life and I am too obsessed with this show. So maybe they have a point. But they’re so harsh about it. From wincestie Becky who they paint as a desperate shrew to these cosplayers who threaten Dean’s very perception of himself, we’re not painted in a very good light. 
Dean says to Demian and Barnes, “It must be nice to get out of your mom’s basement.” He’s judging them for deriving pleasure from dressing up and pretending to be someone else for a night. He doesn’t seem to get the irony that he does that for a living. As the seasons wore on, the creators made sure to include episodes where Dean’s inner geek could run rampant, often in the form of dressing up like a cowboy, such as season six “Frontierland” and season 13 “Tombstone”. I had to take a break from writing this to laugh for five minutes because Dean is so funny. He’s a car gay but he only likes one car. He doesn’t follow sports. His echolalia causes him to blurt out lines from his favourite movies. He’s a posse magnet. And he loves cosplay. But he will continually degrade and insult anyone who expresses interest in role play, fandom, or interests in general. Maybe that’s why Sam is such a boring person, because Dean as his mother didn’t allow him to have any interests outside of hunting. And when Sam does express interests, Dean insults him too. What a dick. He’s my soulmate, but I am not going to stop listening to hair metal for him. That’s where I draw the line. 
 Where “the monster at the end of this book” is concerned with narrative and authorship, “the real ghostbusters” is concerned with fandom and fan reactions to the show. It’s not really the best example to talk about in an episode about metanarrativity, but I wanted to include it anyway. It veers from talk of narrative by focusing on the people in the periphery of the narrative—the fans and the author. In season 9 “Metafiction,” Metatron asks the question, who gives the story meaning? The text would have you believe it’s the characters. The angels think it’s God. The fandom think it’s us. The creators think it’s them. Perhaps we will never come to a consensus or even a satisfactory answer to this question. Perhaps that’s the point.
The ultimate takeaway from this episode is that ordinary people, the people Sam and Dean save, the people they save the world for, the people they die for again and again, are what give their story meaning. Chuck defeats a ghost and saves the people in the conference room from being murdered. Demian and Barnes, don’t ask me which is which, burn the bodies of the ghost children and lay their spirits to rest. The text says that ordinary, every day people can rise to the challenge of becoming extraordinary. It’s not a bad note to end on, by any means. And then we find out that Demian and Barnes are a couple, which of course Dean is surprised at, because he lacks object permanence. 
This is no doubt influenced by how a good portion of the transformative fandom are queer, and also a nod to the wincesties and RPF writers like Becky who continue to bottom feed off the wrong message of this show. But then, the creators encourage that sort of thing, so who are the real clowns here? Everyone. Everyone involved with this show in any way is a clown, except for the crew, who were able to feed their families for more than a decade. 
Okay side note… over the past year or so I’ve been in process of realising that even in fandom queers are in the minority. I know the statistic is that 10% of the world population is queer, but that doesn’t seem right to me? Maybe because 4/5 closest friends are queer and I hang around queers online, but I also think I lack object permanence when it comes to straight people. Like I just do not interact with straight people on a regular basis outside of my best friend and parents and school. So when I hear that someone in fandom is straight I’m like, what the fuck… can you keep that to yourself please? Like if I saw Misha Collins coming out as straight I would be like, I didn’t ask and you didn’t have to tell. Okay I’m mostly joking, but I do forget straight people exist. Mostly I don’t think about whether people are gay or trans or cis or straight unless they’ve explicitly said it and then yes it does colour my perception of them, because of course it would. If they’re part of the queer community, they’re my people. And if they’re straight and cis, then they could very well pose a threat to me and my wellbeing. But I never ask people because it’s not my business to ask. If they feel comfortable enough to tell me, that’s awesome.  I think Dean feels the same way. Towards the later seasons at least, he has a good reaction when it’s revealed that someone is queer, even if it is mostly played off as a joke. It’s just that he doesn’t have a frame of reference in his own life to having a gay relationship, either his or someone he’s close to. He says to Cesar and Jesse in season 11 “The Critters” that they fight like brothers, because that’s the only way he knows how to conceptualise it. He doesn’t have a way to categorise his and Cas’s relationship, which is in many ways, long before season 15 “Despair,” harking back even to the parallels between Ruby and Cas in season 3 and 4, a romantic one, aside from that Cas is like a brother to him. Because he’s never had anyone in his life care for him the way Cas does that wasn’t Sam and Bobby, and he doesn’t recognise the romantic element of their relationship until literally Cas says it to him in the third last episode, he just—doesn’t know what his and Cas’s relationship is. He just really doesn’t know. And he grew up with a father who despised him for taking the mom and wife role in their family, the role that John placed him in, for being subservient to John’s wishes where Sam was more rebellious, so of course he wouldn’t understand either his own desires or those of anyone around him who isn’t explicitly shoving their tits in his face. He moulded his entire personality around what he thought John wanted of him, and John says to him explicitly in season 14 “Lebanon”, “I thought you’d have a family,” meaning, like him, wife and two rugrats. And then, dear god, Dean says, thinking of Sam, Cas, Jack, Claire, and Mary, “I have a family.” God that hurts so much. But since for most of his life he hasn’t been himself, he’s been the man he thought his father wanted him to be, he’s never been able to examine his own desires, wants and goals. So even though he’s really good at reading people, he is not good at reading other people’s desires unless they have nefarious intentions. Because he doesn’t recognise what he feels is attraction to men, he doesn’t recognise that in anyone else. 
Okay that’s completely off topic, wow. Getting back to metanarrativity in “The Real Ghostbusters,” I’ll just cap it off by saying that the books in this episode are more a frame for the events than the events themselves. However, there are some good outtakes where Chuck answers some questions, and I’m not sure how much of that is scripted and how much is Rob Benedict just going for it, but it lends another element to the idea of Kripke as author-god. The idea of a fan convention is really cool, because at this point Supernatural conventions had been running for about 4 years, since 2006. It’s definitely a tribute to the fans, but also to their own self importance. So it’s a mixed bag, considering there were plenty of elements in there that show the good side of fandom and fans, but ultimately the Winchesters want nothing to do with it, consider it weird, and threaten Chuck when he says he’ll start releasing books again, which as far as they know is his only source of income. But it’s a fun episode and Dean is a grouchy bitch, so who the holy hell cares?
Season 10 episode “fanfiction” written by my close personal friend Robbie Thompson and directed by Phil Sgriccia is one of the funniest episodes this show has ever done. Not only is it full of metatextual and metanarrative jokes, the entire premise revolves around fanservice, but in like a fun and interesting way, not fanservice like killing the band Kansas so that Dean can listen to “Carry On My Wayward Son” in heaven twice. Twice. One version after another. Like I would watch this musical seven times in theatre, I would buy the soundtrack, I would listen to it on repeat and make all my friends listen to it when they attend my online Jitsi birthday party. This musical is my Hamilton. Top ten episodes of this show for sure. The only way it could be better is if Cas was there. And he deserved to be there. He deserved to watch little dyke Castiel make out with her girlfriend with her cute little wings, after which he and Dean share uncomfortable eye contact. Dean himself is forever coming to terms with the fact that gay people exist, but Cas should get every opportunity he can to hear that it’s super cool and great and awesome to be queer. But really he should be in every episode, all of them, all 300 plus episodes including the ones before angels were introduced. I’m going to commission the guy who edits Paddington into every movie to superimpose Cas standing on the highway into every episode at least once.
“Fan Fiction” starts with a tv script and the words “Supernatural pilot created by Eric Kripke”. This Immediately sets up the idea that it’s toying with narrative. Blah blah blah, some people go missing, they stumble into a scene from their worst nightmares: the school is putting on a musical production of a show inspired by the Supernatural books. It’s a comedy of errors. When people continue to go missing, Sam and Dean have to convince the girls that something supernatural is happening, while retaining their dignity and respect. They reveal that they are the real Sam and Dean, and Dean gives the director Marie a summary of their lives over the last five seasons, but they aren’t taken seriously. Because, like, of course they aren’t. Even when the girls realise that something supernatural is happening, they don’t actually believe that the musical they’ve made and the series of books they’re basing it on are real. Despite how Sam and Dean Winchester were literal fugitives for many years at many different times, and this was on the news, and they were wanted by the FBI, despite how they pretend to be FBI, and no one mentions it??? Did any of the staffwriters do the required reading or just do what I used to do for my 40 plus page readings of Baudrillard and just skim the first sentence of every paragraph? Neat hack for you: paragraphs are set up in a logical order of Topic, Example, Elaboration, Linking sentence. Do you have to read 60 pages of some crusty French dude waxing poetic about how his best friend Pierre wants to shag his wife and making that your problem? Read the first and last sentence of every paragraph. Boom, done. Just cut your work in half. 
The musical highlights a lot of the important moments of the show so far. The brothers have, as Charlie Bradbury says, their “broment,” and as Marie says, their “boy melodrama scene,” while she insinuates that there is a sexual element to their relationship. This show never passed up an opportunity to mention incest. It’s like: mentioning incest 5000 km, not being disgusting 1 km, what a hard decision. Actually, they do have to walk on their knees for 100 miles through the desert repenting. But there are other moments—such as Mary burning on the ceiling, a classic, Castiel waiting for Dean at the side of the highway, and Azazel poisoning Sam. With the help of the high schoolers, Sam and Dean overcome Calliope, the muse and bad guy of the episode, and save the day. What began as their lives reinterpreted and told back to them turns into a story they have some agency over.
In this episode, as opposed to “The Monster At The End Of This Book,” The storytelling has transferred from an alcoholic in a bathrobe into the hands of an overbearing and overachieving teenage girl, and honestly why not. Transformative fiction is by and large run by women, and queer women, so Marie and her stage manager slash Jody Mills’s understudy Maeve are just following in the footsteps of legends. This kind of really succinctly summarises the difference between curative fandom and transformative fandom, the former of which is populated mostly by men, and the latter mostly by women. As defined by LordByronic in 2015, Curative fandom is more like enjoying the text, collecting the merchandise, organising the knowledge — basically Reddit in terms of fandom curation. Transformative fandom is transforming the source text in some way — making fanart, fanfic, mvs, or a musical — basically Tumblr in general, and Archive of our own specifically. Like what do non fandom people even do on Tumblr? It is a complete mystery to me. Whereas Chuck literally writes himself into the narrative he receives through visions, Marie and co have agency and control over the narrative by writing it themselves. 
Chuck does appear in the episode towards the end, his first appearance after five seasons. The theory that he killed those lesbian theatre girls makes me wanna curl up and die, so I don’t subscribe to it. Chuck watched the musical and he liked it and he gave unwarranted notes and then he left, the end.
The Supernatural creative team is explicitly acknowledging the fandom’s efforts by making this episode. They’re writing us in again, with more obsessive fans, but with lethbians this time, which makes it infinitely better. And instead of showing us as potential date rapists, we’re just cool chicks who like to make art. And that’s fucken awesome. 
I just have to note that the characters literally say the word Destiel after Dean sees the actors playing Dean and Cas making out. He storms off and tells Sam to shut the fuck up when Sam makes fun of him, because Dean’s sexuality is NOT threatened he just needs to assert his dominance as a straight hetero man who has NEVER looked at another man’s lips and licked his own. He just… forgets that gay people exist until someone reminds him. BUT THEN, after a rousing speech that is stolen from Rent or Wicked or something, he echoes Marie’s words back, saying “put as much sub into that text as you possibly can.” What does Dean know about subbing, I wonder. Okay I’m suddenly reminded that he did literally go to a kink bar and get hit on by a leather daddy. Oh Dean, the experiences you have as a broad-shouldered, pixie-faced man with cowboy legs. You were born for this role.
Metatron is my favourite villain. As one tumblr user pointed out, he is an evil English literature major, which is just a normal English literature major. The season nine episode “Meta Fiction” written by my main man robbie thompson and directed by thomas j wright, happens within a curious season. Castiel, once again, becomes the leader of a portion of the heavenly host to take down Metatron, and Dean is affected by the Mark Of Cain. Sam was recently possessed by Gadreel, who killed Kevin in Sam’s body and then decided to run off with Metatron. Metatron himself is recruiting angels to join him, in the hopes that he can become the new God. It’s the first introduction of Hannah, who encourages Cas to recruit angels himself to take on Metatron. Also, we get to see Gabriel again, who is always a delight. 
This episode is a lot of fun. Metatron poses questions like, who tells a story and who is the most important person in the telling? Is it the writer? The audience? He starts off staring over his typewriter to address the camera, like a pompous dickhead. No longer content with consuming stories, he’s started to write his own. And they are hubristic ones about becoming God, a better god than Chuck ever was, but to do it he needs to kill a bunch of people and blame it on Cas. So really, he’s actually exactly like Chuck who blamed everything on Lucifer. 
But I think the most apt analogy we can use for this in terms of who is the creator is to think of Metatron as a fanfiction writer. He consumes the media—the Winchester Gospels—and starts to write his own version of events—leading an army to become God and kill Cas. Nevermind that no one has been able to kill Cas in a way that matters or a way that sticks. Which is canon, and what Metatron is trying to do is—well not fanon because it actually does impact the Winchesters’ storyline. It would be like if one of the writers of Supernatural began writing Supernatural fanfiction before they got a job on the show. Which as my generation and the generations coming after me get more comfortable with fanfiction and fandom, is going to be the case for a lot of shows. I think it’s already the case for Riverdale. Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t the woman who wrote the bi Dean essay go to work on Riverdale? Or something? I dunno, I have the post saved in my tumblr likes but that is quagmire of epic proportions that I will easily get lost in if I try to find it. 
Okay let me flex my literary degree. As Englund and Leach say in “Ethnography and the metanarratives of modernity,” “The influential “literary turn,” in which the problems of ethnography were seen as largely textual and their solutions as lying in experimental writing seems to have lost its impetus.” This can be taken to mean, in the context of Supernatural, that while Metatron’s writings seek to forge a new path in history, forgoing fate for a new kind of divine intervention, the problem with Metatron is that he’s too caught up in the textual, too caught up in the writing, to be effectual. And this as we see throughout seasons 9, 10 and 11, has no lasting effect. Cas gets his grace back, Dean survives, and Metatron becomes a powerless human. In this case, the impetus is his grace, which he loses when Cas cuts it out of him, a mirror to Metatron cutting out Cas’s grace. 
However, I realise that the concept of ethnography in Supernatural is a flawed one, ethnography being the observation of another culture: a lot of the angels observe humanity and seem to fit in. However, Cas has to slowly acclimatise to the Winchesters as they tame him, but he never quite fit in—missing cues, not understanding jokes or Dean’s personal space, the scene where he says, “We have a guinea pig? Where?” Show him the guinea pig Sam!!! He wants to see it!!! At most he passes as a human with autism. Cas doesn’t really observe humanity—he observes nature, as seen in season 7 “reading is fundamental” and “survival of the fittest”. Even the human acts he talks about in season 6 “the man who would be king” are from hundreds or thousands of years ago. He certainly doesn’t observe popular culture, which puts him at odds with Dean, who is made up of 90 per cent pop culture references and 10 per cent flannel. Metatron doesn’t seek to blend in with humanity so much as control it, which actually is the most apt example of ethnography for white people in the last—you know, forever. But of course the writers didn’t seek to make this analogy. It is purely by chance, and maybe I’m the only person insane enough to realise it. But probably not. There are a lot of cookies much smarter than me in the Supernatural fandom and they’ve like me have grown up and gone to university and gotten real jobs in the real world and real haircuts. I’m probably the only person to apply Englund and Leach to it though.
And yes, as I read this paper I did need to have one tab open on Google, with the word “define” in the search bar. 
Metatron has a few lines in this that I really like. He says: 
“The universe is made up of stories, not atoms.”
“You’re going to have to follow my script.”
“I’m an entity of my word.”
It’s really obvious, but they’re pushing the idea that Metatron has become an agent of authorship instead of just a consumer of media. He even throws a Supernatural book into his fire — a symbolic act of burning the script and flipping the writer off, much like Cas did to God and the angels in season 5. He’s not a Kripke figure so much as maybe a Gamble, Carver or Dabb figure, in that he usurps Chuck and becomes the author-god. This would be extremely postmodern of him if he didn’t just do exactly what Chuck was doing, except worse somehow. In fact, it’s postmodern of Cas to reject heaven’s narrative and fall for Dean. As one tumblr user points out, Cas really said “What’s fate compared to Dean Winchester?”
Okay this transcript is almost 8000 words already, and I still have two more episodes to review, and more things to say, so I’ll leave you with this. Metatron says to Cas, “Out of all of God’s wind up toys, you’re the only one with any spunk.” Why Cas has captured his attention comes down more than anything to a process of elimination. Most angels fucking suck. They follow the rules of whoever puts themselves in charge, and they either love Cas or hate him, or just plainly wanna fuck him, and there have been few angels who stood out. Balthazar was awesome, even though I hated him the first time I watched season 6. He UNSUNK the Titanic. Legend status. And Gabriel was of course the OG who loves to fuck shit up. But they’re gone at this stage in the narrative, and Cas survives. Cas always survives. He does have spunk. And everyone wants to fuck him.  
Season 11 episode 20 “Don’t Call Me Shurley,” the last episode written by the Christ like figure of Robbie Thompson — are we sensing a theme here? — and directed by my divine enemy Robert Singer, starts with Metatron dumpster diving for food. I’m not even going to bother commenting on this because like… it’s supernatural and it treats complex issues like homelessness and poverty with zero nuance. Like the Winchesters live in poverty but it’s fun and cool because they always scrape by but Metatron lives in poverty and it’s funny. Cas was homeless and it was hard but he needed to do it to atone for his sins, and Metatron is homeless and it’s funny because he brought it on himself by being a murderous dick. Fucking hell. Robbie, come on. The plot focuses on God, also known as Chuck Shurley, making himself known to Metatron and asking for Metatron’s opinion on his memoir. Meanwhile, the Winchesters battle another bout of infectious serial killer fog sent by Amara. At the end of the episode, Chuck heals everyone affected by the fog and reveals himself to Sam and Dean. 
Chuck says that he didn’t foresee Metatron trying to become god, but the idea of Season 15 is that Chuck has been writing the Winchesters’ story all their lives. When Metatron tries, he fails miserably, is locked up in prison, tortured by Dean, then rendered useless as a human and thrown into the world without a safety net. His authorship is reduced to nothing, and he is reduced to dumpster diving for food. He does actually attempt to live his life as someone who records tragedies as they happen and sells the footage to news stations, which is honestly hilarious and amazing and completely unsurprising because Metatron is, at the heart of it, an English Literature major. In true bastard style, he insults Chuck’s work and complains about the bar, but slips into his old role of editor when Chuck asks him to. 
The theory I’m consulting for this uses the term metanarrative in a different way than I am. They consider it an overarching narrative, a grand narrative like religion. Chuck’s biography is in a sense most loyal to Middleton and Walsh’s view of metanarrative: “the universal story of the world from arche to telos, a grand narrative encompassing world history from beginning to end.” Except instead of world history, it’s God’s history, and since God is construed in Supernatural as just some guy with some powers who is as fallible as the next some guy with some powers, his story has biases and agendas.  Okay so in the analysis I’m getting Middleton and Walsh’s quotes from, James K A Smith’s “A little story about metanarratives,” Smith dunks on them pretty bad, but for Supernatural purposes their words ring true. Think of them as the BuckLeming of Lyotard’s postmodern metanarrative analysis: a stopped clock right twice a day. Is anyone except me understanding the sequence of words I’m saying right now. Do I just have the most specific case of brain worms ever found in human history. I’m currently wearing my oversized Keith Haring shirt and dipping pretzels into peanut butter because it’s 3.18 in the morning and the homosexuals got to me. The total claims a comprehensive metanarrative of world history make do indeed, as Middleton and Walsh claim, lead to violence, stay with me here, because Chuck’s legacy is violence, and so is Metatron’s, and in trying to reject the metanarrative, Sam and Dean enact violence. Mostly Dean, because in season 15 he sacrifices his own son twice to defeat Chuck. But that means literally fighting violence with violence. Violence is, after all, all they know. Violence is the lens through which they interact with the world. If the writers wanted to do literally anything else, they could have continued Dean’s natural character progression into someone who eschews the violence that stems from intergeneration trauma — yes I will continue to use the phrase intergenerational trauma whenever I refer to Dean — and becomes a loving father and husband. Sam could eschew violence and start a monster rehabilitation centre with Eileen.
This episode of Holy Hell is me frantically grabbing at straws to make sense of a narrative that actively hates me and wants to kick me to death. But the violence Sam and Dean enact is not at a metanarrative level, because they are not author-gods of their own narrative. In season 15 “Atomic Monsters,” Becky points out that the ending of the Supernatural book series is bad because the brothers die, and then, in a shocking twist of fate, Dean does die, and the narrative is bad. The writers set themselves a goal post to kick through and instead just slammed their heat into the bars. They set up the dartboard and were like, let’s aim the darts at ourselves. Wouldn’t that be fun. Season 15’s writing is so grossly incompetent that I believe every single conspiracy theory that’s come out of the finale since November, because it’s so much more compelling than whatever the fuck happened on the road so far. Carry on? Why yes, I think I will carry on, carry on like a pork chop, screaming at the bars of my enclosure until I crack my voice open like an egg and spill out all my rage and frustration. The world will never know peace again. It’s now 3.29 and I’ve written over 9000 words of this transcript. And I’m not done.
Middleton and Walsh claim that metanarratives are merely social constructions masquerading as universal truths. Which is, exactly, Supernatural. The creators have constructed this elaborate web of narrative that they want to sell us as the be all and end all. They won’t let the actors discuss how they really feel about the finale. They won’t let Misha Collins talk about Destiel. They want us to believe it was good, actually, that Dean, a recovering alcoholic with a 30 year old infant son and a husband who loves him, deserved to die by getting NAILED, while Sam, who spent the last four seasons, the entirety of Andrew Dabb’s run as showrunner, excelling at creating a hunter network and romancing both the queen of hell and his deaf hunter girlfriend, should have lived a normie life with a normie faceless wife. Am I done? Not even close. I started this episode and I’m going to finish it.
When we find out that Chuck is God in the episode of season 11, it turns everything we knew about Chuck on its head. We find out in Season 15 that Chuck has been writing the Winchesters’ story all along, that everything that happened to them is his doing. The one thing he couldn’t control was Cas’s choice to rebel. If we take him at his word, Cas is the only true force of free will in the entire universe, and more specifically, the love that Cas had for Dean which caused him to rebel and fall from heaven. — This theory has holes of course. Why would Lucifer torture Lilith into becoming the first demon if he didn’t have free will? Did Chuck make him do that? And why? So that Chuck could be the hero and Lucifer the bad guy, like Lucifer claimed all along? That’s to say nothing of Adam and Eve, both characters the show introduced in different ways, one as an antagonist and the other as the narrative foil to Dean and Cas’s romance. Thinking about it makes my head hurt, so I’m just not gunna. 
So Chuck was doing the writing all along. And as Becky claims in “Atomic Monsters,” it’s bad writing. The writers explicitly said, the ending Chuck wrote is bad because there’s no Cas and everyone dies, and then they wrote an ending where there is no Cas and everyone dies. So talk about self-fulfilling prophecies. Talk about giant craters in the earth you could see from 800 kilometres away but you still fell into. Meanwhile fan writers have the opportunity to write a million different endings, all of which satisfy at least one person. The fandom is a hydra, prolific and unstoppable, and we’ll keep rewriting the ending a million more times.
And all this is not even talking about the fact that Chuck is a man, Metatron is a man, Sam and Dean and Cas are men, and the writers and directors of the show are, by an overwhelming majority, men. Most of them are white, straight, cis men. Feminist scholarship has done a lot to unpack the damage done by paternalistic approaches to theory, sociology, ethnography, all the -ys, but I propose we go a step further with these men. Kill them. Metanarratively, of course. Amara, the Darkness, God’s sister, had a chance to write her own story without Chuck, after killing everything in the universe, and I think she had the right idea. Knock it all down to build it from the ground up. Billie also had the opportunity to write a narrative, but her folly was, of course, putting any kind of faith in the Winchesters who are also grossly incompetent and often fail up. She is, as all author-gods on this show are, undone by Castiel. The only one with any spunk, the only one who exists outside of his own narrative confines, the only one the author-gods don’t have any control over. The one who died for love, and in dying, gave life. 
The French Mistake
Let’s change the channel. Let’s calm ourselves and cleanse our libras. Let’s commune with nature and chug some sage bongs. 
“The French Mistake” is a song from the Mel Brooks film Blazing Saddles. In the iconic second last scene of the film, as the cowboys fight amongst themselves, the camera pans back to reveal a studio lot and a door through which a chorus of gay dancersingers perform “the French Mistake”. The lyrics go, “Throw out your hands, stick out your tush, hands on your hips, give ‘em a push. You’ll be surprised you’re doing the French Mistake.” 
I’m not sure what went through the heads of the Supernatural creators when they came up with the season 6 episode, “The French Mistake,” written by the love of my life Ben Edlund and directed by some guy Charles Beeson. Just reading the Wikipedia summary is so batshit incomprehensible. In short: Balthazar sends Sam and Dean to an alternate universe where they are the actors Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, who play Sam and Dean on the tv show Supernatural. I don’t think this had ever been done in television history before. The first seven seasons of this show are certifiable. Like this was ten years ago. Think about the things that have happened in the last 10 slutty, slutty years. We have lived through atrocities and upheaval and the entire world stopping to mourn, but also we had twitter throughout that entire time, which makes it infinitely worse.
In this universe, Sam and Dean wear makeup, Cas is played by attractive crying man Misha Collins, and Genevieve Padalecki nee Cortese makes an appearance. Magic doesn’t exist, Serge has good ideas, and the two leads have to act in order to get through the day. Sorry man I do not know how to pronounce your name.
Sidenote: I don’t know if me being attracted aesthetically to Misha Collins is because he’s attractive, because this show has gaslighted me into thinking he’s attractive, or because Castiel’s iconic entrance in 2008 hit my developing mind like a torpedo full of spaghetti and blew my fucking brains all over the place. It’s one of life’s little mysteries and God’s little gifts.
Let’s talk about therapy. More specifically, “Agency and purpose in narrative therapy: questioning the postmodern rejection of metanarrative” by Cameron Lee. In this paper, Lee outlines four key ideas as proposed by Freedman and Combs:
Realities are socially constructed
Realities are constituted through language
Realities are organised and maintained through narrative
And there are no essential truths.
Let’s break this down in the case of this episode. Realities are socially constructed: the reality of Sam and Dean arose from the Bush era. Do I even need to elaborate? From what I understand with my limited Australian perception, and being a child at the time, 9/11 really was a prominent shifting point in the last twenty years. As Americans describe it, sometimes jokingly, it was the last time they were really truly innocent. That means to me that until they saw the repercussions of their government’s actions in funding turf wars throughout the middle east for a good chunk of the 20th Century, they allowed themselves to be hindered by their own ignorance. The threat of terrorism ran rampant throughout the States, spurred on by right wing nationalists and gun-toting NRA supporters, so it’s really no surprise that the show Supernatural started with the premise of killing everything in sight and driving around with only your closest kin and a trunk full of guns. Kripke constructed that reality from the social-political climate of the time, and it has wrought untold horrors on the minds of lesbians who lived through the noughties, in that we are now attracted to Misha Collins.
Number two: Realities are constituted through language. Before a show can become a show, it needs to be a script. It’s written down, typed up, and given to actors who say the lines out loud. In this respect, they are using the language of speech and words to convey meaning. But tv shows are not all about words, and they’re barely about scripts. From what I understand of being raised by television, they are about action, visuals, imagery, and behaviours. All of the work that goes into them—the scripts, the lighting, the audio, the sound mixing, the cameras, the extras, the ADs, the gaffing, the props, the stunts, everything—is about conveying a story through the medium of images. In that way, images are the language. The reality of the show Supernatural, inside the show Supernatural, is constituted through words: the script, the journalists talking to Sam, the makeup artist taking off Dean’s makeup, the conversations between the creators, the tweets Misha sends. But also through imagery: the fish tank in Jensen’s trailer, the model poses on the front cover of the magazine, the opulence of Jared’s house, Misha’s iconic sweater. Words and images are the language that constitutes both of these realities. Okay for real, I feel like I’ve only seen this episode max three times, including when I watched it for research for this episode, but I remember so much about it. 
Number three: realities are organised and maintained through narrative. In this universe of the French Mistake, their lives are structured around two narratives: the internal narrative of the show within the show, in which they are two actors on a tv set; and the episode narrative in which they need to keep the key safe and return to their own universe. This is made difficult by the revelation that magic doesn’t work in this universe, however, they find a way. Before they can get back, though, an avenging angel by the name of Virgil guns down author-god Eric Kripke and tries to kill the Winchesters. However, they are saved by Balthazar and the freeze frame and brought back into their own world, the world of Supernatural the show, not Supernatural the show within the show within the nesting doll. And then that reality is done with, never to be revisited or even mentioned, but with an impact that has lasted longer than the second Bush administration.
And number four: there are no essential truths. This one is a bit tricky because I can’t find what Lee means by essential truths, so I’m just going to interpret that. To me, essential truths means what lies beneath the narratives we tell ourselves. Supernatural was a show that ran for 15 years. Supernatural had actors. Supernatural was showrun by four different writers. In the show within a show, there is nothing, because that ceases to exist for longer than the forty two minute episode “The French Mistake”. And since Supernatural no longer exists except in our computers, it is nothing too. It is only the narratives we tell ourselves to sleep better at night, to wake up in the morning with a smile, to get through the day, to connect with other people, to understand ourselves better. It’s not even the narrative that the showrunners told, because they have no agency over it as soon as it shows up on our screens. The essential truth of the show is lost in the translation from creating to consuming. Who gives the story meaning? The people watching it and the people creating it. We all do. 
Lee says that humans are predisposed to construct narratives in order to make sense of the world. We see this in cultures from all over the world: from cave paintings to vases, from The Dreaming to Beowulf, humans have always constructed stories. The way you think about yourself is a story that you’ve constructed. The way you interact with your loved ones and the furries you rightfully cyberbully on Twitter is influenced by the narratives you tell yourself about them. And these narratives are intricate, expansive, personalised, and can colour our perceptions completely, so that we turn into a different person when we interact with one person as opposed to another. 
Whatever happened in season 6, most of which I want to forget, doesn’t interest me in the way I’m telling myself the writers intended. For me, the entirety of season 6 was based around the premise of Cas being in love with Dean, and the complete impotence of this love. He turns up when Dean calls, he agonises as he watches Dean rake leaves and live his apple pie life with Lisa, and Dean is the person he feels most horribly about betraying. He says, verbatim, to Sam, “Dean and I do share a more profound bond.” And Balthazar says, “You’re confusing me with the other angel, the one in the dirty trenchcoat who’s in love with you.” He says this in season 6, and we couldn’t do a fucken thing about it. 
The song “The French Mistake” shines a light on the hidden scene of gay men performing a gay narrative, in the midst of a scene about the manliest profession you can have: professional horse wrangler, poncho wearer, and rodeo meister, the cowboy. If this isn’t a perfect encapsulation of the lovestory between Dean and Cas, which Ben Edlund has been championing from day fucking one of Misha Collins walking onto that set with his sex hair and chapped lips, then I don’t know what the fuck we’re even doing here. What in the hell else could it possibly mean. The layers to this. The intricacy. The agendas. The subtextual AND blatant queerness. The micro aggressions Crowley aimed at Car in “The Man Who Would Be King,” another Bedlund special. Bed Edlund is a fucking genius. Bed Edlund is cool girl. Ben Edlund is the missing link. Bed Edlund IS wikileaks. Ben Edlund is a cool breeze on a humid summer day. Ben Edlund is the stop loading button on a browser tab. Ben Edlund is the perfect cross between Spotify and Apple Music, in which you can search for good playlists, but without having to be on Spotify. He can take my keys and fuck my wife. You best believe I’m doing an entire episode of Holy Hell on Bedlund’s top five. He is the reason I want to get into staffwriting on a tv show. I saw season 4 episode “On the head of a pin” when my brain was still torpedoed spaghetti mush from the premiere, and it nestled its way deep into my exposed bones, so that when I finally recovered from that, I was a changed person. My god, this transcript is 11,000 words, and I haven’t even finished the Becky section. Which is a good transition.
Oh, Becky. She is an incarnation of how the writers, or at least Kripke, view the fans. Watching season 5 “Sympathy for the Devil” live in 2009 was a whole fucking trip that I as a baby gay was not prepared for. Figuring out my sexuality was a journey that started with the Supernatural fandom and is in some aspects still raging against the dying of the light today. Add to that, this conception of the audience was this, like, personification of the librarian cellist from Juno, but also completely without boundaries, common sense, or shame. It made me wonder about my position in the narrative as a consumer consuming. Is that how Kripke saw me, specifically? Was I like Becky? Did my forays into DeanCasNatural on El Jay dot com make me a fucking loser whose only claim to fame is writing some nasty fanfiction that I’ve since deleted all traces of? Don’t get me wrong, me and my unhinged Casgirl friends loved Becky. I can’t remember if I ever wrote any fanfiction with her in it because I was mostly writing smut, which is extremely Becky coded of me, but I read some and my friends and I would always chat about her when she came up. She was great entertainment value before season 7. But in the eyes of the powers that be, Becky, like the fans themselves, are expendable. First they turned her into a desperate bride wannabe who drugs Sam so that he’ll be with her, then Chuck waves his hand and she disappears. We’re seeing now with regards to Destiel, Cas, and Misha Collins this erasure of them from the narrative. Becky says in season 15 “Atomic Monsters” that the ending Chuck writes is bad because, for one, there’s no Cas, and that’s exactly what’s happening to the text post-finale. It literally makes me insane akin to the throes of mania to think about the layers of this. They literally said, “No Cas = bad” and now Misha isn’t even allowed to talk in his Cassona voice—at least at the time I wrote that—to the detriment of the fans who care about him. It’s the same shit over and over. They introduce something we like, they realise they have no control over how much we like it, and then they pretend they never introduced it in the first place. Season 7, my god. The only reason Gamble brought back Cas was because the ratings were tanking the show. I didn’t even bother watching most of it live, and would just hear from my friends whether Cas was in the episodes or not. And then Sera, dear Sera, had the gall to say it was a Homer’s Odyssey narrative. I’m rusty on Homer aka I’ve never read it but apparently Odysseus goes away, ends up with a wife on an island somewhere, and then comes back to Terabithia like it never happened. How convenient. But since Sera Gamble loves to bury her gays, we can all guess why Cas was written out of the show: Cas being gay is a threat to the toxic heteronormativity spouted by both the show and the characters themselves. In season 15, after Becky gets her life together, has kids, gets married, and starts a business, she is outgrowing the narrative and Chuck kills her. The fans got Destiel Wedding trending on Twitter, and now the creators are acting like he doesn’t exist. New liver, same eagles.
I have to add an adendum: as of this morning, Sunday 11th, don’t ask me what time that is in Americaland, Misha Collins did an online con/Q&A thing and answered a bunch of questions about Cas and Dean, which goes to show that he cannot be silenced. So the narrative wants to be told. It’s continuing well into it’s 16th or 17th season. It’s going to keep happening and they have no recourse to stop it. So fuck you, Supernatural.
I did write the start of a speech about representation but, who the holy hell cares. I also read some disappointing Masters theses that I hope didn’t take them longer to research and write than this episode of a podcast I’m making for funsies took me, considering it’s the same number of pages. Then again I have the last four months and another 8 years of fandom fuelling my obsession, and when I don’t sleep I write, hence the 4,000 words I knocked out in the last 12 hours. 
Some final words. Lyotard defines postmodernism, the age we live in, as an incredulity towards metanarratives. Modernism was obsessed with order and meaning, but postmodernism seeks to disrupt that. Modernists lived within the frame of the narrative of their society, but postmodernists seek to destroy the frame and live within our own self-written contexts. Okay I love postmodernist theory so this has been a real treat for me. Yoghurt, Sam? Postmodernist theory? Could I BE more gay? 
Middleton and Walsh in their analysis of postmodernism claim that biblical faith is grounded in metanarrative, and explore how this intersects with an era that rejects metanarrative. This is one of the fundamental ideas Supernatural is getting at throughout definitely the last season, but other seasons as well. The narratives of Good vs Evil, Michael vs Lucifer, Dean vs Sam, were encoded into the overarching story of the show from season 1, and since then Sam and Dean have sought to break free of them. Sam broke free of John’s narrative, which was the hunting life, and revenge, and this moralistic machismo that they wrapped themselves up in. If they’re killing the evil, then they’re not the evil. That’s the story they told, and the impetus of the show that Sam was sucked back into. But this thread unravelled in later seasons when Dean became friends with Benny and the idea that all supernatural creatures are inherently evil unravelled as well. While they never completely broke free of John’s hold over them, welcoming Jack into their lives meant confronting a bias that had been ingrained in them since Dean was 4 years old and Sam 6 months. In the face of the question, “are all monsters monstrous?” the narrative loosens its control. Even by questioning it, it throws into doubt the overarching narrative of John’s plan, which is usurped at the end of season 2 when they kill Azazel by Dean’s demon deal and a new narrative unfolds. John as author-god is usurped by the actual God in season 4, who has his own narrative that controls the lives of Sam, Dean and Cas. 
Okay like for real, I do actually think the metanarrativity in Supernatural is something that should be studied by someone other than me, unless you wanna pay me for it and then shit yeah. It is extremely cool to introduce a biographical narrative about the fictional narrative it’s in. It’s cool that the characters are constantly calling this narrative into focus by fighting against it, struggling to break free from their textual confines to live a life outside of the external forces that control them. And the thing is? The really real, honest thing? They have. Sam, Dean and Cas have broken free of the narrative that Kripke, Carver, Gamble and Dabb wrote for them. The very fact that the textual confession of love that Cas has for Dean ushered in a resurgence of fans, fandom and activity that has kept the show trending for five months after it ended, is just phenomenal. People have pointed out that fans stopped caring about Game of Thrones as soon as it ended. Despite the hold they had over tv watchers everywhere, their cultural currency has been spent. The opposite is true for Supernatural. Despite how the finale of the show angered and confused people, it gains more momentum every day. More fanworks, more videos, more fics, more art, more ire, more merch is being generated by the fans still. The Supernatural subreddit, which was averaging a few posts a week by season 15, has been incensed by the finale. And yours truly happily traipsed back into the fandom snake pit after 8 years with a smile on my face and a skip in my step ready to pump that dopamine straight into my veins babeeeeeeyyyyy. It’s been WILD. I recently reconnected with one of my mutuals from 2010 and it’s like nothing’s changed. We’re both still unhinged and we both still simp for Supernatural. Even before season 15, I was obsessed with the podcast Ride Or Die, which I started listening to in late 2019, and Supernatural was always in the back of my mind. You just don’t get over your first fandom. Actually, Danny Phantom was my first fandom, and I remember being 12 talking on Danny Phantom forums to people much too old to be the target audience of the show. So I guess that hasn’t left me either. And the fondest memories I have of Supernatural is how the characters have usurped their creators to become mythic, long past the point they were supposed to die a quiet death. The myth weaving that the Supernatural fandom is doing right now is the legacy that will endure. 
References
I got all of these for free from Google Scholar! 
Judith May Fathallah, “I’m A God: The Author and the Writing Fan in Supernatural.” 
James K A Smith, “A Little Story About Metanarratives: Lyotard, Religion and Postmodernism Revisited.” 2001.
Cameron Lee, “Agency and Purpose in Narrative Therapy: Questioning the Postmodern Rejection of Metanarrative.” 2004.
Harri Englund and James Leach, “Ethnography and the Meta Narratives of Modernity.” 2000.
https://uproxx.com/filmdrunk/mel-brooks-explains-french-mistake-blazing-saddles-blu-ray/
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The follow up to 2017’s Xanathar’s Guide to Everything, on Nov. 17, 2020 fifth edition Dungeons & Dragons upcoming Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything must indeed possess powerful magic to contain so much stuff in 192 pages — the exact page count of its predecessor according to Jeremy Crawford, principal rules designer of the game. The product of 18 months work the book includes material for Dungeons Masters and players of 5E D&D alike. I had an opportunity to join the press briefing with Crawford and Greg Tito, communications and press relations director for D&D and let me tell you, sitting on this was really exciting. Reading and hearing what players speculated on and wanting to say, “You’re all right! It’s all in the book. All the character options and new stuff you’re guessing about are inside!” So let’s get into Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything.
On the cover for Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything Tasha holds an ornate grimoire covered with symbols from the planes of existence in stunning art by Magali Villeneuve.
A delightful conversation about 5E D&D
No sense burying the lead — all the options and fresh new modular content you thought might be in Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything is there. Subclasses for all the classes are in there. Alternate class features from the most popular Unearthed Arcana in the entirety of 5E D&D are in there. The artificer class is in there — including some tweaks, new infusions and the Armorer subclass that was loved by people, according to Crawford. The Aberrant Mind sorcerer, UA’s most highly rated content ever, is in there and so are many from the past year. Spell Versatility and new Beast Master Companions are in there and I know there’s untold numbers of players stoked to hear this. There’s new artwork for the Artillerist Artificer Specialist that was shared during the briefing too.
A human artificer balances his Eldritch Cannon on his shoulder as seen in Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything. [Art by Brian Valeza]
Like XGtE the book explores the titular character’s wonderfully complex point of view in comments on the content throughout, with nods to Tasha’s history in her comments and captions. One clue about Tasha’s mysterious origin reveals itself on the cover. The tattoo on her cheek is a chicken leg, which Crawford explained is an “echo of the chicken-legged hut that Baba Yaga lives in.”
A bunch of subclasses and class features only chicken scratches the surface of the scope of material. Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything is organized into four chapters. While perusing the material in the book readers learn more about Tasha and the lore surrounding her. Tasha’s life has involved the fantastic since the very beginning of her origins in the fey realms. As she became a brilliant and powerful wizard her adventures took her to other planes and dimensions so she is unfazed by beings of any sort, least of all her frenemy Mordenkainen.
Character options
Spells and magic items
Group patrons
Tools for Dungeon Masters
Customizing your origin is an important part of the development of the book and something the design team seems particularly proud of, for good reason. Players love the idea of more personalized character origin stories. I use This Is Your Life stuff from XGtE all the time and TCoE builds on that tremendously. Like, seriously a lot. The design goal was tools for players to create truly unique characters with amazingly magical origins and backstories.
This includes modifying traits during character creation to better reflect the story players want to tell and offers a lineage template with fill-in-the-blanks tools to totally personalize characters. The Lineage System introduces a new way to approach creating and playing characters and adventures in 5E D&D, a responsibility the design team takes very seriously as stewards of the game. During the press briefing Crawford and Tito explained how TCoE is one of multiple books demonstrating a shift in how D&D handles things like race.
Other changes include the removal of negative racial modifiers for certain races from Volo’s Guide to Monsters via errata. Crawford explained how their original intention for races like kobold and orc was as Monstrous Adventurers, separate from standard character options. This is why those options are included in their own section in VGtM along with options considered more powerful than standard in some cases, like yuan-ti and to a lesser extent goblins. Because this context is lost through the way so many players engage with 5E D&D through online tools and resources like D&D Beyond, it became a pain point for players and TCoE will include updated versions. Hooray for kobold and orc enthusiasts!
The Lineage System offers tools to create characters not bound by a species archetype. I love the way Crawford explained how this modular piece of content interacts with existing 5E D&D material. The core game, what is presented in the Player’s Handbook and other sources, illustrates an archetypal adventuring character like an elf. Choosing this option for your character represents playing Elfie McElferson in other words — the exact kind of elf that comes to mind when you think of D&D elves. The Lineage System gives players and DMs tools to disentangle characters’ personal traits with cultural traits. And worry not! The path to customization is very smooth according to Crawford, who emphasized it is not complicated at all.
Along with the new class options and alternate features players can customize how each class feels. This includes something that worms its way into the mind of every edition of D&D sooner or later.
Psionics! The Aberrant Mind is just one of the psionic themed subclasses from UA. Along with a few others, these psionic subclasses use a modifed version of the playtest mechanics, which Crawford described as “evolved.” I’m pretty middle of the road when it comes to psionics, neither thrilled to use them or abhorred by their inclusion in the game but I’ve got to say I really dug that Psionic Talent die so I hope that’s what he meant.
During the press briefing they did not get too deep into new spells and magic items in TCoE but there are some tidbits to share. For starters Tasha adds new spells of her own design to D&D canon. Tasha’s caustic brew and Tasha’s otherworldly guise are two mentioned and I’m excited to see more. Spells named for the wizards who created them evokes a sense of mystery and wonder in all D&D players and after all her incredible excursions and magical experimentation I’m certain Tasha’s influence on 5E D&D will be immense.
Spellcasters can boost their power with new spell focus magic items too, which sounds awesome. There’s got to be a magical cauldron, right? One of the magic items Crawford talked about sounds totally awesome — the Tarokka Deck. Not like, any old prophetic card deck though. This is THE Tarokka Deck, an artifact capable of trapping spirits. Can I tell you I lost track of what they said for a moment because I was daydreaming about a Ghostbusters inspired 5E D&D campaign.
Sidekicks (remember them?) get expanded in TCoE too. Resources to create your own customized sidekicks sounds like a lot of fun new toys to play with. When asked what the most surprising thing about the book is, Crawford revealed there’s a sidekick class. You can play as a Warrior, Expert or Spellcaster, which offers a slimmed down experience for perhaps new players or those looking for less complexity. This sounds awesome to me. I’ve used the Sidekicks content from UA several times and it is terrific, so more of that and more ways to use it can’t go wrong.
More than that though Crawford was surprised by “how much liberty players have to customize.” The Lineage System, tons of new class options and alternate features, spells, feats (wow I didn’t even mention those!) all combine to create more levers and dials players and DMs can use to tailor our game experiences and tell the kinds of stories we want with exactly the kinds of characters we imagine.
“Our work on the game is a delightful conversation with the community that never ends,” as Crawford put it. With tremendous amounts of fun, cool sounding new content like they’re brewing up in Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything, I don’t doubt it.
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A tiefling sorcerer levitates several feet off the ground. [Art by Kieran Yanner]
A lineup of four homunculus servants. [Art by Irina Nordsol]
The young wizard Tasha studies her spellbook in front of Baba Yaga’s hut. Looming nearby is Baba Yaga herself, watching her adopted daughter intently. [Art by Brian Valeza]
This is a massive tome holding secrets of ultimate evil. The exterior of the book reflects the evil within. The covers are made of dark demon scales, which are trimmed in rune-carved metal shaped to look like demonic claws. [Art by David Sladek]
Two wood elf lads swim in a glittering pond, which is fed by a waterfall that pours out of a face carved in a bluff. [Art by Robin Olausson]
A youthful merfolk king lounges on his throne underwater. [Art by Andrew Mar]
Using a psychic spell, a wizard battles a troglodyte underground. [Art by Andrew Mar]
Sidekicks will be expanded in the fifth edition Dungeons & Dragons Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything. [Image courtesy Wizards of the Coast]
An alternate cover art version is only available through local game stores. [Art by Wylie Beckert]
A heavy, ominous storm brews at sea as clouds gather. But these are not normal storm clouds. These have formed into a churning mass of enormous skulls in the sky. [Art by Titus Lunter]
Oh! Are you still here? One last thing I’ll mention is the section on Magical Environments includes Eldritch Storms, magical fruits and magical roads, a Mirror Realm and a Mimic Colony. Stay nerdy.
Congrats! That new #DnD stuff you thought would be in Tasha's Cauldron of Everything is in there. #staynerdy The follow up to 2017's Xanathar's Guide to Everything, on Nov. 17, 2020 fifth edition Dungeons & Dragons upcoming…
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Every Movie I’ve Seen That Came Out This Decade
Now, I saw many of these films as they came out, but a lot of them I ended up watching years after the fact.  There are plenty of movies that came out this decade that I still want to watch but haven’t gotten around to yet (Fury Road, Blade Runner 2049, Logan, etc)  And just because I have seem a movie doesn’t mean I liked it, nor that I even wanted to see it in the first place; there are many I wish I could unsee because they were a waste of 2 hours of my finite existence (Marmaduke, Hop, World War Z, most DC movies)
I’ve bolded my three favorites of each year; not necessarily the best films of their respective years, just the ones that I saw and liked the most.  As I add more titles to this list, I’m sure my preferences might change.  All of my choices are subjective, so I will explain and justify them as I go.
Let’s start at the very beginning (a very good place to start):
2010
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (February 2010)
Alice in Wonderland (March 2010)
Diary of a Wimpy Kid (March 2010)
How to Train Your Dragon (March 2010)
Shrek Forever After (May 2010)
Marmaduke (June 2010)
The Karate Kid (June 2010)
Toy Story 3 (June 2010)
Despicable Me (July 2010)
Predators (July 2010)
Fred: The Movie (July 2010)
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (August 2010)
Piranha 3D (August 2010)
Saw 3D (October 2010)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1 (November 2010)
Tangled (November 2010)
Top 3: How to Train Your Dragon was phenomenal, I can’t recommend it enough.  Predators wasn’t super great, but it was fun, and I have a soft spot for the series because the original Predator is my dad’s favorite film.  Scott Pilgrim is hilarious; nuff said. Other Notes:  I was 12 going on 13 when the decade started, so I mostly watched kids movies.  I’ll probably go back and watch more as time goes on.  I loved the Lightning Thief book, but the movie sucked.  I tried out for Diary of a Wimpy Kid because they held auditions online (I lost, wa-waaa).  My first “date” was with a friend’s sister to see Shrek 4 (Good Lord was it awkward).  Toy Story 3 was fun, but not my favorite by any means.  Let’s pretend Fred never happened.  My dad took me to see Piranha 3D apropos of nothing (he never just says “hey, wanna see a movie tonight?”) and we ended up walking out thirty minutes in because he got offended by all the nudity (it’s a T&A movie)
2011
Rango (February 2011)
Rio (March 2011)
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules (March 2011)
Hop (April 2011)
Kung Fu Panda 2 (May 2011)
Mr. Popper’s Penguins (June 2011)
Cars 2 (June 2011)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2 (July 2011)
Final Destination 5 (August 2011)
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (August 2011)
Apollo 18 (September 2011)
The Thing (October 2011)
Top 3: Rise of the Planet of the Apes was really good, and Andy Serkis gave what might be one of his top 3 best mo-cap ape performances (he has had many).  Apollo 18 sucked, but was fun.  The Thing sucked, but the 1982 version is my favorite movie of all time, and I liked the potential this prequel had.  Please remember that this list is subjective as hell; these are by no means my favorite movies of all time, in fact many aren’t even particularly good, they’re just the ones I saw that I would go out of my way to watch again, for whatever reason. Other Notes: none of the other films this year really did anything for me.   only saw Hop because my friend invited me.  Cars 2 was hot garbage.  Mr. Popper’s Penguins was forgettable.  I didn’t much care for the Harry Potter movies after Goblet of Fire.  I like the first two and a half Final Destination movies (the first two were clever, I liked parts of 3, but 4 and 5 are terrible).
2012
The Lorax (March 2012)
21 Jump Street (March 2012)
The Hunger Games (March 2012)
Mirror Mirror (March 2012)
The Pirates! Band of Misfits (April 2012)
The Avengers (May 2012)
Men in Black 3 (May 2012)
Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted (June 2012)
Brave (June 2012)
Ted (June 2012)
The Amazing Spider-Man (July 2012)
ParaNorman (August 2012)
Flight (November 2012)
Wreck-It Ralph (November 2012)
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (December 2012)
Top 3: I was delightfully surprised by The Avengers when it came out; it was the first MCU movie I saw, and I had no expectations going in.  It’s not GREAT, but it was fun, and probably the best of the series (I don’t care for Thanos and the expanded lore, I don’t read comics, I don’t want to watch them).  ParaNorman is awesome; Laika is awesome, they make awesome movies, moving on.  Flight was really good (I saw it for the first time just this August). Other Notes: Thank God I wasn’t on tumblr when the Lorax came out.  Hunger Games was fun, but I didn’t like some of the changes from the book (they’re too old, and how come only Katniss and Peeta have last names?) The original Men in Black is one of my favorite movies of all time, but MIB3 sucked!  Madagascar 3 was the worst animate film I have ever seen; I had a visceral response when I saw it in theaters, I can’t even explain why I hated it so much, it boggles my mind.  Brave was boring, Ted was crass (I only saw it because my sister rented it from RedBox), The Amazing Spider-Man was forgettable, as was the Hobbit.
2013
The Croods (March 2013)
Star Trek Into Darkness (May 2013)
Despicable Me 2 (June 2013)
Monsters University (June 2013)
World War Z (June 2013)
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (September 2013)
Gravity (October 2013)
12 Years a Slave (October 2013)
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (November 2013)
Frozen (November 2013)
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (December 2013)
Top 3: The VFX in Gravity are amazing, perhaps the best of the decade, it’s beautiful to look at and feels grounded in reality (for the most part).  12 Years a Slave made me cry; it’s one of the few Award Bait movies I saw, and it totally deserved its Best Picture win.  I read the Walter Mitty short story my freshman year of high school, and we saw the movie on a field trip during my senior year; it was excellent, and I had never related to a character more. Other Notes: The Croods was forgettable, Despicable Me 2 was forgettable, Monsters University was forgettable, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 was forgettable; this was a bad year for animated movies.  I didn’t hate Frozen, but it’s not my cup of tea; I think the best song is “For the First Time in Forever,” not “Let it Go.”  World War Z was disappointing, because it is one of my favorite books of all time.
2014
The Lego Movie (February 2014)
Captain America: The Winter Soldier (March 2014)
Godzilla (May 2014)
The Fault in Our Stars (May 2014)
How to Train Your Dragon 2 (May 2014)
22 Jump Street (June 2014)
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (June 2014)
Big Hero 6 (October 2014)
Interstellar (October 2014)
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 (November 2014)
Into the Woods (December 2014)
Top 3: How to train Your Dragon 2 wasn’t just more of the same,it expanded on the world and had real character development; 10/10.  Dawn of the Planet of the Apes had a lot of faults, but I really liked the world building and the uneasy equilibrium the human and ape societies have reached (the equilibrium is upset by the end).  Interstellar is magnificent; the VFW are breathtaking, the docking scene is phenomenal, and I love how grounded the Earth scenes feel even though they’re set in the future (it doesn’t feel like a science fiction movie, it feels more like a science movie) Other Notes: Lego Movie wasn’t my cup of tea, at all.  Winter Soldier was alright.  Godzilla was okay, I just wish Brian Cranston had been the main character.  Into the Woods was fun, but jarringly stylized; it was like watching a Broadway play on screen rather than a movie adaptation of a Broadway play.
2015
Avengers: Age of Ultron (April 2015)
Jurassic World (May 2015)
Terminator Genisys (June 2015)
The Martian (September 2015)
The Hunger Hames: Mockingjay – Part 2 (November 2015)
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (December 2015)
Oh Boy: I didn’t particularly like any of the movies I saw this year.  Genisys was stupid, but it’s sort of a guilty pleasure of mine.  I love The Martian book, and the movie wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either.  I liked The Force Awakens when it came out, but but I think I was nostalgia blind, and I can’t in good conscience continue to consume Disney movies now that I know how the evil corporate conglomerate sausage is made; they all feel like disingenuous cash grabs (and before you Disney Apologists jump down my throat, I acknowledge that there are teams of passionate artists working on every film, but you can’t look me in the eyes and say that the company isn’t micromanaging everything they do to focus group the stories and make them as profitable as possible)  I think Fury Road would probably be my top choice of the year; I’ve seen clips of it, and it looks really good.
2016
Deadpool (February 2016)
Zootopia (February 2016)
10 Cloverfield Lane (March 2016)
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (March 2016)
Captain America: Civil War (April 2016)
X-Men: Apocalypse (May 2016)
Finding Dory (June 2016)
Independence Day: Resurgence (June 2016)
Star Trek Beyond (July 2016)
Ghostbusters (July 2016)
Suicide Squad (August 2016)
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children (September 2016)
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (November 2016)
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (December 2016)
Oh Boy 2, Electric Boogaloo: these were not great years.  10 Cloverfield Lane was excellent, and everyone should go see it right now (because according to the box office, nobody saw it when it came out).  Deadpool was funny but not groundbreaking for me.  I disliked Zootopia because it was copaganda and another saccharine Disney focus grouped movie product (for the record, I only saw it because they were playing it for free at my university one Friday night a few years later).  Batman v Superman sucked.  I liked Civil War, but again, Disney.  Finding Dory was disappointing because the original is so good (Marlin basically had to relearn everything he learned the first time).  Independence Day was terrible, but it genuinely felt like a sequel made in the 90s, so there’s that.  Ghostbusters wasn’t that funny to me; it’d be like if they remade Young Frankenstein, you can’t just remake a great comedy and expect it to work with a different cast.  Suicide Squad sucked, Miss Peregrine was disappointing because I liked the book, Fantastic Beats was forgettable, and Rogue One was bland throughout with a horrible ending and one (1) fun scene with Darth Vader.
2017
Get Out (February 2017)
Kong: Skull Island (March 2017)
Baby Driver (March 2017)
Alien: Covenant (May 2017)
Captain Underpants (June 2017)
Spider-Man: Homecoming (June 2017)
War for the Planet of the Apes (July 2017)
The Dark Tower (July 2017)
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (September 2017)
It (September 2017)
Jigsaw (October 2017)
Star Wars: The Last Jedi (December 2017)
Top 3: Get Out was excellent, I had no idea Jordan Peele could do drama as well as he did comedy (and I loved the ending where the white family gets their comeuppance and the black protagonist doesn’t go to jail!)  Baby Driver is easily one of my favorite movies of all time; this was the first time I watched a movie and knew immediately that it would be nominated for an Oscar (it should have won, dammit; the sound editing was perfect).  Three Billboards made me cry, it’s so good. Other Notes: Kong was fun but forgettable.  Alien Covenant was fun but dumb (I was able to guess the twist immediately because they included ONE shot of David reaching for a knife; exclude that ONE shot, and I never would have guessed it).  Captain Underpants was fun (I loved the books growing up), but it was distracting to hear adult voices coming out of these 9 and 10-year-olds; I think the Netflix show does it WAY better.  War for the Planet of the Apes was disappointing, because I loved the first two; they never actually show the war, all the soldiers die in an avalanche at the end. It’s more like Great Escape fro the Planet of the Apes, if anything.  It was fun.  Jigsaw wasn’t not fun.  Last Jedi was a movie.
2018
The Cloverfield Paradox (February 2018)
Black Panther (February 2018)
A Quiet Place (April 2018)
Deadpool 2 (May 2018)
Solo: A Star Wars Story (May 2018)
Incredibles 2 (June 2018)
Operation Finale (August 2018)
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (December 2018)
Top 3: A Quiet Place was really good, and I liked how they got a real deaf actress to play the daughter.  Operation Finale was cathartic and I’m surprised it didn’t do well (I think it was weird that Ben Kingsley played Eichmann because he played Itzhak Stern, a Jewish worker, in Schindler’s List; he’s got range, I guess?) Spider-Verse is the best animated film of the decade, best Spider-Man film ever made, and one of my favorites movies of all time. Other Notes: Cloverfield Paradox was disappointing because I liked the first two so much.  Black Panther was good, but I just don’t like the MCU.  Deadpool 2 was fun, but I probably won’t see it again.  Solo was forgettable.  Incredibles 2 was not as good as I hoped it would be.
2019
How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (February 2019)
Toy Story 4 (June 2019)
Spider-Man: Far From Home (July 2019)
Terminator: Dark Fate (November 2019)
Knives Out (November 2019)
Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker (December 2019)
As it stands, I only REALLY liked Knives Out this year; it was an excellent whodunit and I cannot recommend it enough.  I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, I am never this engaged by a movie anymore, I had no idea where it was going, but I loved the ride the entire time (it was a SOLID movie, very tight, very well made).  How to Train Your Dragon 3 was disappointing; not a great ending to the series, and none of the characters have grown any (all the comic relief idiots are still comic relief idiots, and in fact there’s a whole scene where the villain gets annoyed with one of them and let’s them go to have some peace and quiet, which undercuts his villainy by making him look like a Loony Tunes character rather than a real threat).  I am swearing off Marvel movies from now on; I get nothing out of them anymore,and Disney will keep making billions regardless of my lost ticket revenue.  Terminator 5 was not great, but probably the third best of the series (I’d probably watch it again, but like Genisys it is a guilty pleasure, not a movie I enjoy unironically).  1917 looks good, and I am excited to see it.  Star Wars 9 look like a movie; after I see it, I am swearing off Disney movies entirely.  I would skip this one, but my mom insists that we all go see it as a family for Christmas, so it’s literally a holiday chore for me.  I want to see how it ends, but I don’t want to pay for it.  Oh, and it’ll never end.  They say this is the end, but we all know that’s a lie.  They’ll start production on Episodes X, XI and XII before the decade is out (the 2020s I mean).  Audiences haven’t reached Marvel Fatigue (and probably never will), so they sure as hell aren’t gonna reach Star War Fatigue any time soon; Disney will keep churning them out forever, at least once a year, maybe more.
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waynekelton · 5 years
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Apple Arcade Roulette #3
Say what you will about Apple Arcade, one of its definite drawbacks is the difficulty in navigating the home page and simply locating the good games on the platform. Cursed with low discoverability and a burgeoning catalogue that everyone (including us) says you can traipse through at random and find great games, Apple Arcade is being continually subjected to Pocket Tactics’ cruel whims. This is Apple Arcade Roulette #3, because jamais deux sans trois. ‘Never twice without a third’. If there’s a consistent trend with these games it is that they easily fit themselves into genre conventions but then proceed to tweak or even subvert expectations.
If you want more Apple Arcade goodness, you can read the other games we've reviewed so (Arcade Roulette #1, Arcade Roulette #2), as well as check out our current list of favourite Apple Arcade Games. For reference, we've also put together a complete list of Apple Arcade games available as well.
Nightmare Farm (Management) (3-Stars)
A girl wanders through her cursed and scattered memories, scavenging apples and other supplies to farm her way into a charmed life. It’s leisurely-paced with the ‘farming’ scheme playing out like something halfway between Stardew Valley and Cookie Clicker. Plenty of timers, conversation rates and production chains. Apples become coins which are tendered for building materials, giving further gizmos and whatsits to prolong the cycle.
The proper chain of unlocks and actions is a little obscure, unfortunately. The creepy-cute aesthetic and silent movie storytelling set it apart from other genre entries. The emotional content is confusing and ambiguous, but the gameplay is linear and purely points-driven. The tone is silent but gothic: not morbid or scary but treading the fine line between melancholy and debilitating sorrow. It’s a very good game to play whilst alone because to explore another’s solitude is a mind-expanding endeavour, and it is this slow-burning curiosity which makes Nightmare Farm a rewarding, if weird, play.
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Guildlings (Adventure) (4-Stars)
Guildlings is a rad game positioned somewhat at odds with the Arcade model. It’s billed as an episodic adventure and is quite promising but still just getting started. Right now it’s a slickly rendered, sweetly told game about youths getting up to magical mischief. Levity, insight and a low-key vibe of deep emotional support make this a wholesome game. I can’t stress enough how impressive it is that Guildlings instantly evokes long-standing relationships and nails a fresh tone without being too trying.
Managing your party members’ moods to solve puzzles and clear battles is a unique way to blend visual novel and RPG elements. Right now the storytelling and art direction are stronger pluses than the RPG and turn-based battles, but hopefully the later stages will grow more complex. The first episode is a decent chunk of content and will take you a handful of hours to complete. Unfortunately, with something this promising it would be nice to play it semi-regularly. I hope it updates soon.
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Spelldrifter (Card Battler) (2-Stars)
Theoretically this should have been most up my alley, given it’s a story-based tactical card-battler. I love this type of game and will champion any and all worthy entries, but this one is just a little weird. It has grid-based combat, a dynamic action-point turn system, and a mixture of equipment- and deck-building aspects. Stack the laudable goals of fleshing out four different main characters, an original fantasy setting and full campaign and you have an insanely ambitious game.
It rips itself apart trying to excel on too many fronts, unfortunately. The writing is a strange mixture of styles and tones, the art has more attention paid to gear and weaponry than the oddly proportioned faces, and the actual gameplay is too muddled. The card design is decent and the party system has distinct class roles for each character, but strangely enough this beast of a game is less than the sum of its parts.
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Dead-End Job (Shooter) (4-Stars)
Twin-stick shooter about a gig sucking up ghosts to escape a truly ghoulish fate. (Obligatory Ghostbusters and Luigi’s Mansion nods). Management-mission schtick mixes well with the short missions, which are almost like action set pieces, what with the various character, item and level quirks. The game rewards reflexes, sure, but also some planning. A little kitchen-sink in terms of the appeal. The art and sound design feel like misplaced cartoons. It has really clean storytelling and the action bits are pure adrenaline, so if you even have the slightest interest I would say jump right in. Effortless control scheme, level design and laid-back lore-dumps mean this is a no-brainer recommendations.
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Dear Reader (???) (4-Stars)
A dearie and rather inventive title, but its intended audience is rather narrow. Still, it manages to turn the quirks and conventions of that supreme omnishambles, the English language, into decent entertainment. The raw material is drawn from classic lit in the public domain a little too faithfully, so the game can be ‘spoilt’ by over-reliance on familiarity with the source texts. Correct answers and patterns can be deduced from a limited context or logical rules, of course, but also by invoking memory of the plot or big picture. By gamifying the act of reading, it layers a sort of self-consciousness about an activity that is traditionally more free-form and undirected.
To max out a score, one must attend to theme. This mixed approach is actually rather nifty because it’s how learning and language acquisition work in other cases. As a grammar and reverse-mad libs type puzzle it’s quite good but leans a little too heavily on nostalgia. It is clearly a labor of love, and rather a fine one at that. The score and persistent in-game currency are both measured in ink, which is later used to unlock other books.
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So, based on these latest five games, I would say the general quality of Apple Arcade still holds. The safest bet for anyone wandering into the service is to just try whatever types of games are usually their favorites. These releases are clearly striving to cater to as wide an audience as possible while still somehow satisfying the more discerning hobbyist. It’s an impossible, paradoxical goal. Nevertheless the effort and results thus far have been a pleasant surprise. We’ll see what the next spin of the wheel brings.
Apple Arcade Roulette #3 published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/
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