#i love this cousin really there is no bad blood or diss here by any means but i'm here going to another cousins

[speakeasier]

MAN, SMOKES. yo, this is the reason why sometimes i just don't give my number to my cousins or fam. i am just losing my mind.

[cinema-tv-etc]

Music’s 30 Fiercest Feuds and Beefs

From classic-rock squabbles to hip-hop diss tracks and social media wars, here are the ridiculous, rancorous conflicts that have held us rapt. Rolling Stone - Jordan Runtagh

Creative differences, financial disputes, drug abuse, love triangles – in the music industry, the opportunities to butt heads are basically limitless. The bigger the star, the bigger the ego, and when two tangle, you get a supernova of spite and bile that holds the world in rapture, turning mature adults into spit-flecked children chanting “Fight, fight, fight!” in a circle at recess.

Many clashes are over in a flash, while others drag out for years and even decades. Some feuds are undoubtedly hilarious, birthing otherworldly insults like Liam Gallagher’s “Potato” and Mariah Carey’s beyond catty “I don’t know her,” both of which will live on until the end of the Internet. Others are tragic and have no possible upside as friendships, bands, families and even lives are destroyed in the process. Others still have inspired an entire sub-category of song that crosses all genre boundaries: the diss track. (See: “Bad Blood,” “Swish Swish,” about 25 percent of all rap songs.)                            

Read on for 30 of the most explosive beefs in music history. Pick a side, or simply spectate. No judgment.                            

John Lennon vs. Paul McCartney

The generation-defining duo kept their squabbles behind closed doors during the Beatles’ death throes in the late Sixties, but as McCartney made a move to legally dissolve the band’s partnership in December 1970, Lennon took the spat public in the pages of Rolling Stone. The conversation with magazine founder Jann Wenner touched on McCartney’s supposedly overbearing nature in the studio (“I pretty damn well know we got fed up of being sidemen for Paul,” he seethed), McCartney’s poor leadership following the death of the band’s manager Brian Epstein, and the other Beatles’ reaction to Lennon’s new relationship with Yoko Ono. “Ringo was all right, but the other two really gave it to us. I’ll never forgive them.”  

McCartney’s public response was more measured. On 1971’s Ram, he included a subtle jab at Lennon on the opening track, “Too Many People,” mocking the former Teddy Boy rebel’s sudden fervor for world-peace crusades with the line “Too many people preaching practices.” Elsewhere in the song he sings, “You took your lucky break and broke it in two,” which McCartney later admitted was also directed at his former bandmate.  

The line went over most people’s heads, but Lennon got the reference – and fired back with one obvious enough for everyone. Included on 1971’s Imagine is “How Do You Sleep?,” a diss track so positively nasty that it borders on obscene. In footage taken at the session, Lennon, Ono and guest guitarist George Harrison can be seen laughing as they swap lines like “The sound you make is Muzak to my ears/You must have learned something in all those years,” and a dig at his most famous song: “The only thing you done was ‘Yesterday.'” 

McCartney was reluctant to punch back. His major public response was the devastating “Dear Friend” from 1971’s Wild Life, in which he mournfully wonders whether this was “really the borderline” of their relationship. The delicate lament was an olive branch, though it would take some time to be accepted as such. Friendly calls from McCartney were met with Lennon’s suspicious “Yeah, yeah, whatdaya want.” His new American twang particularly grated McCartney, who once shot back, ‘Fuck off, Kojak!”   

Relations had improved enough by the mid Seventies for McCartney to occasionally drop by Lennon’s Upper West Side apartment at the Dakota building when business brought him to New York City. Together the old friends would reminisce and exchange thoughts on baking bread or their young children. Any hopes of a permanent reconciliation were ended by an assassin’s bullet on December 8th, 1980.                                    

Brian Wilson vs. Mike Love

Discord between the cousins had set in by the mid-Sixties when Wilson, the acting maestro behind the Beach Boys, sought to move the band beyond their fun-in-the-sun persona. Love found the new musical daring pretentious, and feared alienating the fans originally won over by their carefree surfing image.      

The stress was palpable during the 1966 sessions for Pet Sounds, Wilson’s most experimental work to date. Skeptical of augmenting their sound with a fleet of session musicians wielding exotic instruments, Love resented that Wilson took the majority of the lead vocals himself. It’s just as well, as he took issue with much of the album’s lyrical content. “Some of the words were so totally offensive to me that I wouldn’t even sing ’em because I thought it was too nauseating,” Love admitted to Goldmine in 1992. Exhibit A: a new tune Wilson presented with the LSD-drenched title “Hang Onto Your Ego.” Hardly a psychedelic warrior, Love put his foot down and refused to participate. The title was promptly changed to “I Know There’s an Answer.”                                    

The clashes continued when Wilson plunged into his next project, the ambitious “teenage Symphony to God” dubbed SMiLE. It was during this period that Love supposedly delivered his famous warning: “Don’t fuck with the formula!” The oft-quoted remark made its first appearance in a 1971 Rolling Stone profile, though Love dismissed it in his memoir as “the most famous thing I’ve ever said, even though I never said it.” Even so, Wilson later claimed that Love was “disgusted” by the project.                                    

  Wilson’s mental health struggles drove a wedge between the cousins, and their relationship was further strained by a series of courtroom battles. In the early Nineties Love filed a lawsuit claiming he wasn’t credited on many songs he had written with Wilson. A jury ruled in his favor, awarding Love a co-writer credit on 35 of the titles, including some of the band’s biggest hits. Several years later, the death of band mate Carl Wilson splintered the remaining group into several opposing camps, all of whom competed in legal arenas for the right to use the Beach Boys name. Love eventually won, and began leasing the name from the band’s label, Brother Records.

 As part of the Beach Boys’ 50th anniversary in 2012, the surviving members buried the hatchet long enough to record a new album and embark on a triumphant tour. It seemed like a long-awaited happy ending until it was revealed that Love would continue touring as the Beach Boys without the help of Wilson later that year. “The Beach Boys might get together again – but not with me,” Wilson told Rolling Stone’s Jason Fine mid-2017.                                    

Don Felder vs. Don Henley and Glenn Frey

The Eagles rarely had peaceful easy feelings within their ranks, but the most extreme schism widened during sessions for Hotel California in 1976. Felder expressed the desire to sing his composition “Victim of Love,” but his bandmates were less than pleased with his initial takes. “Don Felder, for all of his talents as a guitar player, was not a singer,” Frey said in the band’s authorized 2013 documentary, The History of the Eagles. Henley agreed, saying it “simply did not come up to band standards.” While Felder was at dinner with the group’s manager, Irving Azoff, the rest of the band wiped his vocals and rerecorded it with Henley. Felder never forgot the slight.                                    

The Eagles struggled to follow up the record-breaking success of Hotel California, and sessions for what would become The Long Run dragged on for 18 months. During this time, Felder found himself increasingly at odds with Henley and Frey, sarcastically dubbing them “the Gods.” The resentment reached critical mass on July 31st 1980, the night the band played a benefit concert for California Senator Alan Cranston at Long Beach Arena. Felder, who preferred to steer clear of political causes, was frustrated about having to go along with Henley and Frey’s wishes. When the Senator thanked each musician individually at a pre-show meet-and-greet, Felder replied with a curt: “You’re welcome, Senator … I guess.”                                    

Enraged, Frey laid into Felder as soon as the politician was out of sight, and the fight continued – on-mic – in the middle of the night’s performance. “We’re onstage, and Felder looks back at me and says, ‘Only three more songs till I kick your ass, pal.’ And I’m saying, ‘Great. I can’t wait,'” Frey later recalled. “We’re out there singing ‘Best of My Love,’ but inside both of us are thinking, ‘As soon as this is over, I’m gonna kill him.'”                                    

That was how the Eagles’ story ended until 1994, when they reconvened for Hell Freezes Over, an album, tour and MTV special. The project’s success kicked off a long stream of well-regarded blockbuster tours, but the tenuous peace was disrupted when Felder made waves about the bottom line. Though the band had split their revenue equally back in its Seventies heyday, he now complained that Henley and Frey insisted on a higher percentage for themselves. Henley and Frey didn’t take kindly to having their motives questioned, and fired Felder from the Eagles on February 6th, 2001.   

 The dismissal set off an avalanche of messy legal proceedings, beginning with Felder filing suits for wrongful termination, breach of contract and fiduciary duty. The lawsuits were eventually settled out of court for an undisclosed sum, but the wounds never healed. When Frey died in January 2016, Felder paid him a warm tribute in the Associated Press. “I had always hoped somewhere along the line, he and I would have dinner together, talking about old times and letting it go with a handshake and a hug.”                                    

Roger Waters vs. David Gilmour

Pink Floyd were divided during sessions for The Wall in 1979, as Gilmour, Nick Mason and Rick Wright grew frustrated by Waters’ unwillingness to compromise in the studio. “He forced his way to become that central figure,” Gilmour told Rolling Stone in 1987. Waters, for his part, claimed he was pushed into the role of creative taskmaster due to the diminishing input of his (to his mind) less talented bandmates. “There was no point in Gilmour, Mason or Wright trying to write lyrics,” he countered in Rolling Stone. “Because they’ll never be as good as mine. Gilmour’s lyrics are very third-rate.”                  

The global success of The Wall only widened the divisions. On the accompanying tour, Waters stayed at separate hotels, and rarely spoke with his bandmates offstage. As work began on a follow-up, 1983’s The Final Cut, a less-than-enthusiastic Gilmour feared that the album was padded with rejects from The Wall. The conflicts grew increasingly hostile, and Gilmour’s name was ultimately removed from the album’s production credits.                                    

When Waters decided to pursue solo endeavors in December 1985, he attempted to dissolve Pink Floyd in his wake, labeling it “a spent force creatively.” Gilmour disagreed, forging ahead with Wright and Mason to record a new album as Pink Floyd. An irate Waters took legal action to bar Gilmour and the rest of his former colleagues from using the band’s name – and the famed inflatable pig mascot during live performances.                                    

  Gilmour won the court battle but the war waged in the court of public opinion. The remaining Floyd members characterized their former bassist as a vindictive egomaniac, while Waters portrayed his Gilmour and Co. as coasting on the back of his genius. When the scaled-down Floyd released A Momentary Lapse of Reason in 1987, Waters dismissed it as “a very facile but quite clever forgery.”    

Pink Floyd remained largely dormant following the release of 1994’s The Division Bell, but tensions had eased enough by July 2005 for the band’s classic lineup to reunite for a set at the Live 8 global charity event. The reconciliation would prove to be the last time the foursome would perform before Wright’s death in 2008.                                    

Waters surprised fans in 2011 by bringing out Gilmour and Mason for a guest appearance on “Comfortably Numb” during a performance at London’s O2 arena, and by 2013 he even admitted that he regretted the lawsuit over the band’s name. But when Gilmour and Mason polished off some old demos for release as a new Floyd album, The Endless River, in 2014, Waters declined to participate.                                    

Ray Davies vs. Dave Davies

Before the Gallagher brothers, the world had the Davies as their prototypical Britpop sibling rivalry. “We were battlers,” reflected Ray. “But the very thing that makes a band special is what ultimately causes it to break up.” According to Dave, their differences stem from childhood. “I think Ray has been happy for only three years in his life. And those were the three years before I was born.”    One incident seems indicative of things to come. The boys had staged a mock boxing match, but the roughhousing turned serious when Ray collapsed in a heap after hitting his head on the side of the family’s piano. Dave bent down in concern to ask if Ray was ok; Ray immediately opened his eyes and socked him in the face. “It’s symbolic of our whole relationship, really,” Dave reflected.          

Once the two were bandmates, the fighting would take place practically anywhere: onstage, in the studio, in the back of a limousine. Even on major family occasions, they found it hard to play nice. When Ray tapped Dave to act as best man at his 1964 wedding, the younger brother got extremely drunk and announced that he was “too pissed” to give the speech. The Kinks performed together for the last time in 1996, shortly before Dave’s ill-fated 50th birthday party. “Ray had the money and I didn’t,” he recalled, “So he offered to throw it for me. Just as I was about to cut the cake, Ray jumped on the table and made a speech about how wonderful he was. He then stamped on the cake.” They would see very little of each other for many years.                            

Begrudging fraternal love united them in 2004 when Dave suffered a serious stroke. Ray invited Dave to stay at his home, but old jealousies returned. “I was ill in bed and could barely move, but he started saying: ‘I’m sick, I’m sick!’ He was screaming in pain from his stomach.” A medical examination revealed nothing out of the ordinary. “He just wanted attention,” opined Dave.                    

In 2013 they fought over the genesis of what might be the Kinks’ greatest legacy: the fuzzed-out overdrive guitar distortion heard on their 1964 breakthrough hit, “You Really Got Me.” Ray claims that he came up with the idea of slashing the speaker cone of Dave’s guitar amplifier to achieve the effect, while the guitarist claims he developed the technique himself. Dave accused Ray of propagating the myth in his West End musical Sunny Afternoon, based on the songs of the Kinks. “My brother is lying,” he wrote in a furious Facebook post. “I am just flabbergasted and shocked at the depth of his selfish desire to take credit for everything.”                                    

They were able to put their difference aside for long enough to appear together onstage in December 2015 to perform the song in question before an audience in London – their first live collaboration in nearly two decades.                              

Paul Simon vs. Art Garfunkel

The childhood friends first recorded together as teenagers in 1957, but as Garfunkel began to focus on his academic career, Simon quietly inked a solo side deal. Garfunkel took it as a serious betrayal when he learned of his musical partner’s extracurricular endeavors, and the incident would be a sore point in the decades to come.  After the two scored global fame in the mid-Sixties, long-held resentments made the union a ticking time bomb. The detonation occurred in late 1968 when director Mike Nichols offered them both roles in his adaptation of the book Catch-22. Simon’s character was cut before production began, so Garfunkel flew solo to shoot in Mexico. Initially Simon had been supportive of the outing, even penning “The Only Living Boy in New York” as a tender good luck for his old friend. But as the three-month film shoot stretched into nearly a year, Simon grew frustrated by the delay.     Garfunkel’s eventual return failed to repair relations, and the two clashed over differing musical ideas. Simon had written a song called “Cuba Si, Nixon No,” which he presented as a potential 12th track on what would become Bridge Over Troubled Water. Garfunkel, turned off by its overt political commentary, suggested doing a Haitian Creole chorale called “Feuilles-O.” Neither side would budge. The album was released with only 11 songs, and the pair decided to go their separate ways.                                    

It was during a professional nadir in 1981 that they agreed to reunite at a free concert in New York’s Central Park. The performance became of one of the biggest musical events in history, drawing an unparalleled 500,000 people to the Great Lawn. A world tour was planned for May 1982, but it wasn’t long before they fell into the same destructive patterns. Things weren’t any better in the studio as they worked on an all-new Simon & Garfunkel album to be called Think Too Much. In the end, Simon wiped Garfunkel’s vocal tracks and set about finishing the songs as a solo effort.                                    

Eyebrows were raised during their somewhat frosty Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction speech in 1990. Garfunkel started off sincere, saying, “I want to thank most of all the person who has most enriched my life by putting these great songs through me: My friend Paul here.” It should have been a touching moment of reconciliation, save for Simon’s parting joke. “Arthur and I agree about almost nothing,” he said. “But it’s true, I have enriched his life quite a bit, now that I think about it.”                                    

The men hit the road for high-profile reunion tours in 1993, 2003 and 2010, but it never stuck. The same unexplainable force that blends their voices together in celestial harmony also compels them to spend the majority of their time apart.

 Keith Richards vs. Elton John

“Lovely bloke,” Richards said of John in a 1988 Rolling Stone interview, “but posing.” The venomous dig was prompted by John’s recent single, “I Don’t Wanna Go On with You Like That,” but some wondered if Keef harbored a grudge against John for outstaying his welcome during a guest appearance – which stretched to 10 songs – at a 1975 Rolling Stones concert in Fort Collins, Colorado.                                    

Whatever the cause of the rift, Richards didn’t hold back when asked his thoughts on “Candle in the Wind 1997,” John’s musical elegy for friend Princess Diana. Though profits from the single were donated to charity, Richards said the rewrite of John’s 1973 tribute to Marilyn Monroe “did jar a bit” in an October 1997 interview with Entertainment Weekly. “Songs for Dead Blondes,” he pronounced. “I’d find it difficult to ride on the back of something like that myself, but Reg [John’s birth name] is showbiz.” He echoed the sentiment a short time later and took aim at John’s theatrical stage style. John fought back in an interview published by the Daily News that same month. “I’m glad I’ve given up drugs and alcohol. It would be awful to be like Keith Richards. He’s pathetic, poor thing. It’s like a monkey with arthritis, trying to go onstage and look young. I have great respect for the Stones but they would have been better if they had thrown Keith out 15 years ago. … I just think he’s an asshole and I have for a long time.” He also refuted the accusations of Vegas-level theatrics. “Please, if the Rolling Stones aren’t show business, then what is? You know, with their inflatable naked women.”    John went on the offensive in 2011 when he criticized Richards’ recent autobiography, Life, which featured some unflattering details about Jagger’s anatomy. “I was a bit put off by hearing about the bit about Mick Jagger’s penis,” he said. “If I said that [songwriting partner] Bernie Taupin was a miserable twat and had a small penis, he’d probably never talk to me again. It’s like, why do that?”                                  

Relations between the two rock icons thawed in September 2015, when fellow Stone Ronnie Wood was able to broker a truce long enough for Richards and John to pose for a photo at the GQ Awards in London.                                    

David Lee Roth vs. Eddie Van Halen

Tensions simmered during the 1983 sessions for 1984. David Lee Roth resented the decision to record at Eddie Van Halen’s newly constructed home studio, 5150, as he felt it gave the guitarist too much creative autonomy. Though Van Halen’s sole Number One, “Jump,” emerged from Eddie’s sonic laboratory, the singer remained unhappy; by 1985, he turned his attention to a solo EP, Crazy from the Heat, with the aim to star in a movie of the same name. “The band as you know it is over,” Eddie told Rolling Stone that August. “Dave left to be a movie star. He even had the balls to ask if I’d write the score for him.” (The movie never materialized.)                                    

Roth reconnected with the band in 1996 as they assembled a Greatest Hits album, and relations improved enough for the original lineup to reunite in the studio to record two new tracks for the compilation. Given that replacement singer Sammy Hagar had recently departed the group, fans viewed this as a dry run for a full-fledged reunion. But that all came to a halt when Van Halen, plus Roth, made a painful appearance at the MTV Video Music Awards. Trouble began when Roth went off script, trumpeting the importance of the original band members standing together. Eddie steered his one-time bandmate away from the microphone long enough for Beck to accept his Moonman for “Where It’s At,” but Roth vied for attention by dancing in the background with a demented grin.  

The annoyance of sharing a stage with Roth for even just a few minutes was enough to torpedo any hope of reconciliation. “His onstage antics were embarrassing and disrespectful to Beck,” Eddie later told MTV. Matters deteriorated further that night as Eddie denied reports of an upcoming reunion tour during a backstage press conference, citing his hip surgery scheduled later that year. “Tonight’s about me, man, and not your fucking hip,” Roth responded. A tour manager had to physically restrain Eddie, who spat back, “If you ever speak like that to me again you better be wearing a cup.'”                                    

It took more than a decade for tempers to cool, but in February 2007 the band unveiled plans for a long-awaited tour with Roth. They followed it up in February 2012 with A Different Kind of Truth, their first full-length album with Roth since 1984, but the accompanying tour didn’t go well. Several legs were postponed, or cancelled altogether. “The conflict was immediate and sustained from day one,” Roth said in an interview on The Opie & Anthony Show at the time. “Not a note of this symphony has changed.” More cracks in the uneasy alliance showed while promoting their 2015 North American tour, with Eddie slamming Roth in a Billboard interview. “He does not want to be my friend.”                                    

The “Roxanne” Wars

Lolita Shanté Gooden, a 14-year-old aspiring emcee, was walking through the Queensbridge housing project in 1984 when she overheard her neighbors, record producer Marley Marl and disc jockey Mr. Magic, complaining about the hip hop collective UTFO. The group had pulled out of an upcoming show they were promoting, leaving the two men in a lurch. Gooden offered to get back at the group by writing a diss track, and despite her tender age, the men agreed.

For a beat, they borrowed the instrumental track from UTFO’s “Roxanne, Roxanne,” the B side to their recent single “Hanging Out.” The original song told the tale of the band having their romantic advances cruelly rebuffed by a woman named Roxanne, so Gooden assumed the identity of the titular heartbreaker to record a less-than-flattering answer track. Dubbed “Roxanne’s Revenge,” the young rapper reportedly freestyled her obscenity-laden verse in just one take, done in Marl’s apartment. To complete the ruse, the song was released under the name Roxanne Shanté.                                    

It caught fire immediately, becoming a sizable radio hit and selling 5,000 copies almost overnight. The chastised UTFO did the only thing they could do – they shot back with a song of their own. Enlisting Elease Jack (later replaced by Adelaida Martinez), they created the character of “the Real Roxanne,” and together recorded a song of the same name. It wasn’t exactly an all-out verbal assault on Shanté – presumably going in on a teenage girl was frowned upon – but the challenge to her authenticity was just as effective.  

Given the chart success of the Roxanne songs, many rappers recognized an opportunity for some easy airplay and jumped into the fray. Over the coming year, more than 30 (and some say as many as 100) tracks were released, with MCs portraying all manner of Roxanne associates telling their sides of the story. Her relatives weighed in with tracks like “The Parents of Roxanne” by Gigolo Tony and Lacey Lace, “Yo, My Little Sister (Roxanne’s Brothers)” by Crush Groove, and “Rappin’ Roxy: Roxanne’s Sister” by D.W. and the Party Crew featuring Roxy. After exhausting her family tree, even her physician got some play on “Roxanne’s Doctor – The Real Man” by Dr. Freshh.  

 Roxanne fatigue eventually set in, as evidenced by the East Coast Crew’s trend-killing “The Final Word – No More Roxanne (Please),” but UTFO and Shanté had some unfinished business. The group swung first with “Roxanne, Roxanne, Pt. 2: Calling Her A Crab,” a downright dirty track, on which they called their rival an “ape” and offered her bananas to stop rapping. Shanté, meanwhile, asserted her status as rap feud royalty on “Queen of Rox.” From there, the inferno died away.                                      

Prince vs. Michael Jackson

Prince emerged onto the music scene with For You in 1978, one year before Jackson came into his own as a solo artist with Off the Wall, and for the next decade their musical paths would run on parallel tracks – never to intersect. The battle began when MJ upstaged 1999, Prince’s bestseller to date, with the industry-defining mega-smash Thriller in December 1982. Prince countered with Purple Rain, a triumph of sales and substance that caught even Jackson’s attention. When the Purple One came through Los Angeles with his Purple Rain tour, Jackson reportedly attended multiple nights, studying his competition.          Even friendly games could turn heated. When both men shared a studio, the competition bubbled over onto the Ping-Pong table. Prince ultimately emerged victorious when Jackson fumbled his paddle trying to ward off a spiked ball. “Did you see that?” Prince supposedly crowed as Jackson slunk away. “He played like Helen Keller!” Longtime Revolution drummer Bobby Z maintained that the athletic challenges continued for quite some time. “They’d shoot hoops at Paisley Park,” he recalled in the Minneapolis Star Tribune. “Prince had a deep-seated competitive nature, so it’s easy to see where he would measure himself against Jackson’s success.”                                    

 Accustomed to his regal role in the pop pecking order, Jackson was reportedly miffed with Prince declined to participate in his all-star charity recording “We Are the World” in 1985. Prince also turned down the chance to duet with Jackson on the title track to 1987’s Bad, the follow-up to Thriller, and even to appear alongside him in the song’s video. “That Wesley Snipes character? That would have been me,” Prince admitted in a 1997 interview with Chris Rock on MTV.     

Mutual friend Will.i.am attempted to broker peace in 2006 when he invited Jackson to watch him perform with Prince in Las Vegas. Things were going great until Prince decided to venture into the audience and play an aggressive slap-bass solo right in Jackson’s face. The hostile low end did not go over well, and Jackson made a point of mentioning it to Will.i.am the next morning. “I go to his house for breakfast, knock on the door, first words he says: ‘Why was Prince playing the bass in my face? Prince, he’s always been a meanie.'”                      

Mariah Carey vs. Whitney Houston

In the pre-Bodyguard Nineties, Whitney Houston seemed in danger of losing the octave-scaling R&B diva mantle to a young upstart named Mariah Carey. Barely in her twenties, Carey’s self-titled 1990 debut had sold 15 million copies worldwide, 5 million more than Houston’s (still absurdly high-selling) I’m Your Baby Tonight. Tabloids were quick to pit the pair against one another, but their feud was largely all smoke and no fire until Houston was asked about her supposed rivalry during a 1990 television interview – delivering the immortal: “What do I think of her? I don’t think of her.” The studio audience got the hint and hooted with Jerry Springer–level abandon. Houston’s halfhearted backpedaling (“Musically, I think she’s a good singer.”) did little to calm the crowd.                    

Houston served up an equally chilly response in 1995, when her own “Exhale (Shoop Shoop)” got booted from the top of the charts by “One Sweet Day,” Carey’s ballad with Boyz II Men. When MTV dared to put the “What do you think of Mimi” question to her again, she answered with the delightfully obtuse, “Maybe it’s not what I think; it’s what she thinks. It’s more important.”                    

  Producers of the 1998 animated biblical epic The Prince of Egypt booked Carey and Houston to duet on “When You Believe” for the soundtrack, leading to a string of public goodwill gestures between the two. They put in an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show to deny that any beef existed between them, dismissing it all as “dramatics.”                                    

  They even poked fun at their rocky past while presenting Best Male Video at the 1998 MTV Video Music Awards, strutting to the podium in identical, but supposedly “one of a kind” dresses. The staged fashion faux pas provoked a comical catfight, until they stripped down to reveal different dresses and embraced in a warm hug.                                    

Following Houston’s death in February 2012, Carey was among the mourners at the star-studded service held in the late icon’s hometown of Newark, New Jersey. “I’m almost incapable to be talking about this still,” she said during an appearance on Good Morning America in the days that followed. “I don’t think people could ever really understand our relationship. There was always this supposed rivalry in the beginning and then we did the duet and became friends … I loved her.”                                    

Music’s 30 Fiercest Feuds and Beefs

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/music-s-30-fiercest-feuds-and-beefs?utm_source=pocket-newtab

[bitchfury]

shadowhunters!!

* I DID NOT READ THE BOOKS

i’m literally only here to talk about malec.. that’s it, that’s the whole post.

no - but seriously !! also, expressing my gratitude to tumblr for all of the gay gifs i was hit with as soon as i searched for shadowhunters. may the angel bless ya’ll!! especially @maia-roberts​ for the starting gif with ms lightwood. 

so lets go and delve into some magnus and alec talk, because that’s literally the only relationship that matters to me. 

kidding, i’m going to be rating relationships in the show with hot takes.

but actually, if i’m being honest * don’t hate me but, * every relationship that isn’t clary and jace are the only relationships that matter. don’t get me wrong, they’re ?? good ?? together but, something about that relationship doesn’t rub me the right way. bitch, maybe it’s the fact that they literally still thought about boning when valentine made them think they were siblings??

*jace crying cause i’m not a big fan of jlary.. or whatever their shipname is.

n-e-ways..

i also contradict myself a lot when it comes to these relationships because while i was not a big fan of their relationship, i was a huge fan of jonathan and clary!! not them being together!! but just, the sister and brother bond they had made me want to cry, and the way it ended :( you could honestly tell that a part of clary was actually devastated because she really loved the idea of having a brother. even if he was of demon blood. 

malec

10/10 honestly, i loved every bit of their relationship even the sad parts. i legit cried during the marriage scene when alec was supposed to marry lydia, but then magnus walked in and lydia was so kind and they had that kiss... and.. and..

honestly tho - lydia was so nice about it all, i’m actually upset that she didn’t become a part of the crew for longer after she was over thrown by that guy that got isabelle addicted to yin fen. 

all i can say after that - is gay excitement. pure joy is all i feel whenever i watch a scene with alec and magnus together. although, the scene where they both marry eachother as jonathon is, y’know, destroying the world... i actually wasn’t a huge fan of.

something that i find really funny is after 2 months of being in a relationship, alec pulls a ultragay move and asks magnus if he can move in. if you know.. you know.

ask me any questions about them and i’ll honestly give you my thoughts on it.. please, i need *someone* to talk to about their relationship.

sisabelle

don’t make fun of me, okay? i knew the shipname looked sus as soon as i wrote it down, but idk if that’s their actual one because i haven’t joined the fan club group chat for shadowhunters. 

ALL I GOTTA SAY IS 1000000/10!!

i’ve literally been waiting since episode for isabelle and simon to get together, i get that isabelle only saw simon as some form of entertainment for the first episodes before he got stolen, but i still really wanted them to be together. and the fact that they did!! omg.

it makes me so upset that the show got cancelled so we didn’t get to see more scenes of them together I MEAN ISABELLA LITERALLY CAUGHT ON FIRE FOR THEIR FIRST KISS, so i pray that one day i become powerful enough that netflix / freeform decides to let it air for a couple more seasons. i mean, if greys anatomy gets 17 seasons, why can’t shadowhunters get 5 or 6? (not dissing greys btw, i’ve watched it.)

mat / baia

8/10 i’m not even going to talk about maia and bat because... no. i mean - they’re cute together but it actually caught me so off guard, i did not see it coming but i know where the showrunners were coming from because :

1. it’s in the book that they get together.

2. it’s some unspoken rule in film that main characters in a tv show need an s/o, and bat just so happened to be there and be attractive.

luke and maryse

9/10 because they are so cute together i loved it so much and when maryse was telling magnus about her lil cute n fun crush on luke it was such an adorable middle schooler moment it made me want to cry. also after sucky husband cheated on her, it was the least the directors could do to make her end up with such an amazing guy!

clace

7/10.. i honestly don’t really know why i’m not a huge fan of the iconic relationship. i mean, i know i said before that the ‘wanting to bone your sister who’s not your sister’ was a deal breaker for me, they ended up not being siblings and all should be well.. right?

this is a relationship i’m stuck on.. cause i don’t know if it’s good or bad.

i guess you could say that the fact that jace blows off his family for clary is one of the reasons, because i don’t really like him as a character. but, at this point, who hasn’t blown everyone off for clary?

no no no, during the whole fiasco when jonathon and clary where bounded together, he told aline that the fact that jonathon morphed into him was worse than jonathon literally killing her cousin.. like, whats worse? your girlfriend kissing you who’s not you, or you not knowing your real cousin was trapped in some evil guys closet and then killed? i was deffo on alines side for that. i know clary’s the main character and all, but come on!! people are right when they question her loved ones. thousands of people have died for her without even knowing her.

so maybe i just don’t like the characters? i mean.. would i do the same if i was in their shoes..? honestly, i’m not even sure.

relationships that didn’t work

i feel ashamed to admit this to ya’ll, especially after my great reviews for all these relationships that the show ended on.. but there were some relationships i was actually a little interested in that did not work.

alec and underhill

4/10 i feel so dirty.. because i was genuinely worried that alec would actually cheat on magnus even tho we all know alec is loyal as fuck. but a little part of me was hoping that he did. am i the new seelie queen? perhaps.

raphael and isabelle

10/10 i’d 100% want them to be together. i wanted them to be together before the whole addiction thing, it’s just sad that that was the only reason they got together. don’t get me wrong, i totally believe that they wanted to be together, but i also believe that they were right in not fufilling that wish because there’d be a 99.9% chance isabella would literally die. or become a vampire, which would be pretty cool.

meliorn and..... jace. 

10/10 there. i said it. yes, this is going to be the last relationship i talk about, i’m ending it on a confusing good note. just seeing them together during the comrade rune time made me think really hard that they’d actually be pretty cute together if jace wasn’t so painfully straight. i especially couldn’t resist when jace said meliorn was a 9/10.. like.. ;), honey, don’t lie. (i know he wasnt, but still. meliorn’s a solid 10.) 

honestly, i probably would ship jace with a lot of other people like rebecca.

[onigirisuna]

blue ivy

a contribution for @zutaramonth, quarantine edition, day 15: trust. view my other work for zutara month (quarantine edition) here.

this isn’t sad this time, i promise!

modern au. cw: cursing. long fic ahead.

“See those other morons over there?” Toph says; she lowers her voice down to a pseudo-whisper. “They’re stupid as fuck.”

Akira coos in response. Toph continues her rocking back and forth, tickling her belly as she says, “Yeah, that’s right. I’m gonna be the dopest auntie you’ll ever have. You know that bitch, Martha Stewart? She won’t even know what’s coming for her.”

“Two strikes, Toph,” Katara says with her arms crossed. “I gave birth three days ago and now my baby’s gonna say fu– the f word before she says ‘mama’ or ‘papa’.”

“No, Katara,” Toph says, still cradling the now-sleeping Akira in her arms. “She’s gonna say y’all are fucking wussies when she realizes how lame her parents are.”

Katara rolls her eyes, too tired to argue with the blind girl. Toph deposits the sleeping child in Katara’s outstretched arms; as Toph unfurls her arms from the infant, she says, “I’m tellin’ you, Sugar Queen. I’m out here being Solange Knowles while you guys fight over which Kardashian you are.”

Zuko walks in with a two mugs of coffee in hand. “I think Kourtney’s pretty cool.”

Without looking back, Toph points in his direction. “Exactly.”

Katara smirks. “If you’re Solange, that means Akira’s Blue – making me Beyonce.”

Toph pulls a face. “Your husband just walked in claiming Kourtney Kardashian, so that makes you Travis Scott–”

“Scott Disick,” Zuko corrects her, handing Katara a mug.

“–And he’s pretty problematic.”

“We’re all kinda problematic Toph,” Katara says, her voice muffled as her lips rest on the rim of the coffee cup. 

"Right,” Toph says, reaching for her wallet. “Anyway, gotta go. A precinct proposed another turnover to Major Crimes and I gotta go over it.” Toph gave both her friends side hugs before making her way to the door. Katara sees Zuko wince from the force of her grip and Akira smiles at the warmth.

“Thanks for breakfast, guys!” she says over her shoulder, closing the door behind her. Katara and Zuko stare at the door for a few moments.

“You want Toph to be Akira’s godmother,” Zuko says, raising his brow at her. “Do you really trust that she won’t drop our kid head-first?”

“Shut up, Jay-Z. Beyonce didn’t make a whole diss album for you to tell me what to do.”

Akira cooed, seemingly in agreement with her mother.

—

“Oh my spirits, Zuko, Akira’s lustration rites is three months away and we haven’t decided on her godparents,” Katara says, frantically pacing around their room. Zuko mumbles in response as he hunches over the latest bill on economic reform.

“Are you even listening to me?”

Zuko shoots his head up. “Kat, calm down – three months is more than enough time to choose her godparents.”

“No, it’s not, Zuko!” Katara says, pulling at her hair. “We still have to figure out the arrangements, the celebration afterwards–”

“The Fire Sages have that sorted for us, Kat. They’ve conducted thousands of baptisms of fire before,” Zuko says pointedly, returning to his work. He keeps his head down as he mumbles, “For all I know, they’re immortal and feed off of dying royals.”

“What? I didn’t catch that,” Katara says with her arms crossed. Zuko sighs and rubs his eyes, saying, “Nothing.”

Katara rolls her eyes. He continues, saying, “You know, the best set of godparents for Akira would be the ones we trust her life with.”

Katara huffs and keeps her arms crossed. “Well, I already have a list. Could you at least help me with that? I need to add more people.”

That wakes Zuko up. “How many godparents do you want our kid to have?”

Katara pulls out a sheet of paper from her own desk and slaps it onto Zuko’s. Zuko’s eyes widen.

“Akira‘s gonna have twenty godparents?” Zuko asks incredulously. “And you want me to add more?”

“You’ll never know, Zuko,” she says, biting her lip as she resumes pacing around their room. “We need more people to protect her.”

Zuko lets out a laugh. “We’re friends with the world’s largest leaders, Katara,” he says with mirth. “Three of them would be twenty to anyone else.”

Katara juts out her lip in thought as Zuko’s words sink into her; he gets up from his desk and gathers her into his arms. “Besides,” he says. “There won’t be enough people for the next baby.”

Katara untangles herself and places her hands on her hips. “Yes, there will.”

“No, there won’t, Kat. You’ve already listed my friends,” he says, grabbing her list and pointing to top. “All six of them.”

—

A few days later, Sokka bursts through Zuko’s office in song.

“Am I original?”

Sokka is met with silence.

“Am I the only one?”

The silence continues.

Sokka gives Zuko an exasperated look. “You’re supposed to sing yeeeeaaaaah after each question, Zuko.”

“I know.”

With that, Sokka starts laughing and Zuko breaks out into a smile. When Sokka comes up to Zuko’s desk, they bump fists and shake hands; Zuko leads Sokka to the chair in front of his desk. “So,” he says, settling back into his own chair. “What brings you back here? The lustration rites are still three months away.”

“I thought I’d stop by before I head over to Republic City for the Union’s Economic Council,” Sokka says, inspecting his boomerang. “You’re coming, right? Aang’s gonna be there.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Zuko admits. “I was going to send over my minister for economics. With the reform bill we’ve been reviewing, though, I feel a hell lot more inclined to go.”

Sokka hums and looks at Zuko when he says, “How bad?”

“They won’t let go of the dead war factories and they aren’t getting any cheaper.”

Sokka winces. “Yikes. Be careful, though, the Council might kill you if you raise that.” Zuko nods somberly with the thought.

“I won’t actually be there for the Council, Sokka,” he says, folding his arms over the table. “I’ll just show up because I have to. I’m actually going to Republic City because I need to have a talk with Kuei; they wouldn’t let go of the war factories because of foreign investors from his country.” Sokka nods his head in understanding.

An attendant knocks softly on the door. “Come in,” Zuko says.

“Dinner is ready, Sir,” she says. “Lady Katara and Lady Akira are already in the hall.”

“Is there an extra setting for Chief Sokka?” Zuko asks. The attendant blanches and wrings her arms behind her back. “N-no, Sir, I’m afraid we haven’t prepared for the Chief’s arrival.”

Zuko softens; Mira, the attendant, is new and was handpicked personally by Katara. “It’s fine, Mira. The Chief didn’t make his arrival known,” he says, throwing an accusing look at Sokka. Sokka shrugs. “Please tell Tako and the rest to prepare an extra setting and a room for the Chief. He will be spending the next couple of days here.”

Sokka starts. “Wait–”

Zuko holds up a hand. “That will be all, Mira. Thank you.”

Mira bows and leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

“I already booked a hotel, Zuko,” Sokka says, leaning back on his chair as he feigns disappointment.

“Ask for a refund, then,” Zuko says, getting up from his desk. “I know your cheap ass is glad you don’t have to pay for accommodations.”

Sokka gets up from the chair. “You are the best brother-in-law.”

Zuko smiles. “And you,” he says as claps his best friend on the shoulder, “Are going to be Akira’s godfather.”

Sokka’s jaw drops and Zuko backtracks.

“I-if you wanna be, of course.”

Sokka throws his arms around Zuko in response.

—

Much later, Sokka runs into the common room carrying a wailing Akira in his arms. “I swear I didn’t do anything,” he says. “I promise it isn’t my fault that she hit her head with a boomerang.”

Katara and Zuko shoot up from the couch. “She what?!”

“She was playing with Boomerang! I was showing it off, but then she reached out for it and bonked her head in the process,” Sokka says defensively. Katara picks up Akira from her brother, inspecting her for any injuries.

“In what world is it okay to play with a boomerang with a three month-old baby?” Katara asks, trying to soothe the crying baby.

“My world, Katara! Matok and Kira love Boomerang!” Sokka exclaims, throwing his hands up for emphasis.

“Sokka, she won’t even remember the names of her cousins because you shrunk her walnut brain,” Katara says, giving Sokka an accusing look. Sokka barks out a laugh.

“Kat, you’re being too generous. She’s related to me, remember? Her brain’s probably pea-sized, tops.”

Katara hurls a pillow at him.

Akira coos and smiles against her mother’s shoulder.

—

Aang visits the Fire Nation one month before the lustration rites.

“What’s up, little buddy?” he says, picking up Akira from her crib. Akira starts to giggle when she sees her uncle, and Katara smiles fondly at the sight.

“Are you here for another meeting with Zuko?” Katara asks, carrying a tray of durian tarts as she makes her way to Aang.

“Kinda?” Aang says, lilting his voice up. “I’m actually here to talk to his minister of economics, about the dead war factories.”

“Namato? Poor guy,” Katara says. “He’s smack in the middle of Zuko and Kuei’s hot shots.”

“I know,” Aang says, lightly pinching Akira’s nose. “Kuei’s not the bad guy though.”

“We know,” Katara responds, setting two durian tarts on a dessert plate. “That’s another poor guy.”

Aang hums in agreement; he starts reaching for a tart just as Zuko walks in. Aang takes a bite off the tart and pretends to offer some to Akira.

“What’s up, buddy?” Aang says, greeting Zuko with a bright smile.

“Could be better,” Zuko responds, sulking as he sheds his suit jacket. Sensing an incoming change in mood, Katara quickly attempts to brighten it by asking, “Aang, you’re gonna make it to Akira’s lustration rites, right?”

Aang brightens even more, seemingly oblivious to Zuko’s damp mood. “Of course, Katara! How could I miss the baptism of the first mixed-blood princess of the Fire Nation?” Aang lightly tickles Akira as he lilts his voice with every word. Zuko softens at the sight.

“Well, that, and the baptism of your first godchild,” Zuko says as he settles beside his wife. Aang almost drops the kid in surprise.

“Crap, Aang, watch it!” Zuko cries as Katara kicks his shin. “Ow! What was that for?”

Katara looks at him pointedly. “There‘s a baby in front of us.”

“Yeah, and our friend almost dropped her!”

“Aang would never drop the baby, Zuko. He can’t even drop a spider.”

The sound of sniffling cuts their conversation short; when Katara and Zuko turn around, they find Aang at the brink of tears.

“Y-you,” Aang starts, his voice shaking. “You want me to be Akira’s godpoppy?”

Katara and Zuko give him a look. “Godpoppy?”

—

Three weeks later, Aang is whizzing through the halls of the Royal Palace on an airball; as soon as he accepted his role as Akira’s godpoppy, he declared himself as the lead organizer of the celebration. “Mira, don’t forget to contact the caterer!” he says to the pair of attendants. “Tako, the decorators will be here in six days. You hear me, buddy? Six days. We need the plaza cleaned up before that, okay?”

“Yes, Sir,” Mira and Tako respond just as Aang whizzes past them. They bow respectfully to Katara and Zuko as they come up the hallway.

“What kind of sound system is this?” Aang exclaims, the echo of his disbelief reverberating through the walls.

Katara and Zuko laugh at their friend’s torrential barking, watching as Zuko’s staff scramble about trying their best to keep up with Aang’s incessant demanding. Akira laughs with them and Zuko brushes his nose onto his daughter’s. “He can hire Beyonce if he wants to, you know,” he tells his wife as Akira plays with his hair.

“What do you mean? I’m right here,” Katara says, the ghost of a smile on her face as she points a slim finger to it. Zuko laughs and kisses the top of her head.

—

The day of the lustration rites come, and Akira is placed in the center of a ring of candles. The ceremony is private, with only her immediate family, godparents, and the Fire Sages in attendance. 

The Head Sage says the invocation in ancient Fire Nation tongue, and the ceremony concludes with Zuko bending the candlelit flames; they briefly shoot up in streams of fire before Katara bends water around each stream, evaporating them into the air.

“Congratulations, my lord, my lady,” the Head Sage says, leading a bow. Katara and Zuko bow in response. As the Fire Sages head to the balcony doors to reveal the child to the public, the royal family’s friends and family begin to swarm them. Sokka starts taking photos with his phone.

“Calm down, guys,” Katara says, holding Akira protectively as Aang and Toph wrestle over her. “The people are waiting.”

When the doors open, Katara and Zuko are greeted by a miles-long crowd of Fire Nation citizens. The couple smile amidst the raucous cheer, gracefully waving at the crowd; cameras and reporters are dotted around strategic points of the plaza. 

“I present to you all,” the Head Sage bellows from the parapet. “Fire Lord Zuko, Fire Lady and Master Katara, and Princess Akira!” The raucous cheer magnified, causing Akira to stir uncomfortably. Katara and Zuko wave for a few more moments before being ushered back inside to the hall.

“Hey Kourtney,” Toph calls. Zuko turns around just as Aang and Sokka begin arguing who gets to carry Akira first. “If anyone dare touch little Blue Ivy,” Toph says, pointing her thumb towards the now-sleeping infant. “I will beat them up.”

Zuko smiles. “Okay, Rocky,” he says as he accepts Akira from his wife, who has since moved on to accommodating their guests.

“That’s right, Sparky. I’m Rocky fu–”

“Toph,” Katara says.

“–cking Balboa.”

[magicaleiko]

Episode 1 Script!

???: Hapupu Pafufun Pahapa Hapafa: I summon you, new TV show! Appear! My name is Eiko Kurokawa, and this is my story...

OP Theme: Kimi no Koto ga Suki Dakara by AKB48

(Scene: The beaches of the Japanese town of Futaba. A girl strolls along the sands aimlessly.)

Girl: (thinks) *Man, I can’t wait for Summer to come. Any other season, this place is practically abandoned. It’s boring.*

(She looks at the shoreline.)

Girl: (thinks) *Still, there’s nobody else here to get the good sea glass. Like that one, right there!*

(She reaches down to pick it up, but her hand meets with another one in a magenta glove. She looks up to see a woman looking back at her with golden eyes.)

Girl: Ah... Oh! Sorry. I didn’t know you wanted that one, too.

Woman: No, it’s alright. It’s yours.

Girl: R-Really? Thanks, um...

(She picks up the sea glass and looks at the woman. The stranger wears a blue dress, a yellow gem hanging by a magenta ribbon around her neck, and beige boots which are pointed at the ends. Her black hair is tied in a bun with five curls sticking out, and her nose is pointed. She seems to be in her 30s.)

Girl: Uh... You know, I probably should go. I don’t think I’m allowed to talk to strangers yet.

Woman: ...My name’s Famo Bordeu.

Girl: Huh? I’m Eiko Kurokawa.

Famo: We’re not strangers anymore now, are we?

Eiko: I guess not...

(Just then, another girl’s voice calls out to Eiko.)

Girl: Eiko? Come on, time to go home!

Eiko: Okay, coming! (to Famo) I’ll see you around, bye!

(Famo, watching as Eiko leaves, smiles.)

Title card: Eiko and the World of Magic

(Scene: The next day, at the Kurokawa house. Eiko is brushing her hair in the mirror. Her older sister, the girl who called out to her at the beach, is putting her things into her bag.)

Sister: Eiko, you’re gonna have to pick up the pace, or you’ll be late.

Eiko: Sorry, Rie.

(Cut to her putting on her school uniform. Rie waits by the door.)

Rie: You ready?

Eiko: (running to the door) Ready!

(She puts her shoes on.)

Eiko: Bye Mom, bye Dad!

(Their parents are in the den, the dad on the computer, with the family’s pet cat, Kuro-chan, on his lap while the mom talks to him.)

Mr. Kurokawa: Bye!

Mrs. Kurokawa: Have a nice day!

(As the two sisters run to school, Eiko narrates.)

Eiko: Hi. I’m Eiko Kurokawa. I’m 14 years old. I was born on January 13 on a Friday, my star sign is Capricorn, I love chocolate and milk, my favorite book is Alice in Wonderland and I suck at Math. My life’s pretty much normal, if you could call living with a stay-at-home dad who’s kinda weird and a mom and older sister who are kinda both nerds for their favorite pop culture normal. Still, a part of me can’t help but wish for some kind of change...

(They arrive at Futaba Junior High. As they put on their school slippers, an African American student comes over.)

Foreign Girl: Morning.

Rie: Morning.

Foreign Girl: Heisuke’s got a new rumor again.

Rie: (sarcastically) Oh, great.

(Scene: Outside Classroom 3-A. The sisters and the foreign student arrive to see a male student, Heisuke, talking with the other students.)

Male Student: No way.

Heisuke: I’m serious, you guys! We need to keep an eye out for her!

Eiko: Keep an eye out for who?

(There is a pause. Heisuke leans forward and lowers his voice.)

Heisuke: ...They say a witch has come to Futaba.

Eiko: A witch?

Rie: Okay, where did you hear this one?

Heisuke: I’m not kidding! My cousin swears that she saw her one night flying down from the sky on her broom. 

Rie: Last week, your cousin also said that a kappa tried to steal his-

Heisuke: Now don’t you diss my cousin just because of his awesome adventures!

Rie: Exactly which cousin are you talking about again?

Heisuke: (ignoring Rie) Anyway! Either one of you seen any strange ladies around?

(At that moment, Eiko remembers Famo, and how strange she seemed... and yet, nice, too.)

Eiko: ...No, not really.

Heisuke: Oh. Well, keep a sharp lookout, anyways.

Student: Hey, speaking of which, here comes Mrs. Asahi!

Heisuke: Oh, shoot!

(As the other students scramble into the classroom and to their desks, the sisters look at each other. Timeskip to Mrs. Asahi teaching the class, like all good teachers. Eiko is hunched down behind her textbook, texting Rie on her cellphone while also pretending to read. In Rie’s classroom, her phone vibrates. Rie answers it to read the following text from her sister:)

Eiko’s text: You believe in witchcraft?

Rie: Wh-

(She replies:)

Rie’s text: Don’t tell me you actually believe that yarn?! It’s just a rumor, okay?

(After reading Rie’s response, Eiko thinks to herself. Scene change to the school library. Eiko is in the Fantasy section. She picks out a particular book on witches.)

Eiko: (thinks) *”A Guide to Witches, Good and Bad”. I wonder if...*

(She takes a look through the pages.)

Eiko: (reads) *”A Witch’s Profile: Mysterious, owns a cat, rides on a broomstick, often wears gloves, is capable of smelling the blood of human children...”*

Rie: Eiko?

(At her sister’s voice, Eiko jumps and squeals, hiding the book behind her back.)

Rie: ...You done?

Eiko: Uh...

(Making sure not to let Rie see the title of the book, she quickly puts it back in its place on the shelf.)

Eiko: Yeah, I’m done.

(Rie raises an eyebrow. Scene change to the end of the day, when everyone’s getting ready to go home.)

Eiko: You’re not coming with me?

Rie: Nah, Yuka invited me over to her place. Wanna come with?

Eiko: Ah... No thanks, I’m good.

Rie: Eh, your loss.

(She leaves to go with Yuka. Cut to Eiko walking home.)

Eiko: Maybe Rie’s right. Maybe I should just forget about the whole witch thing.

(She walks by a trio of delinquents from her school, who take notice of her.)

Boss: Hey, look what we got here!

Lackey#1: Nice legs.

Lackey#2: Legs, pah! Lookit that form!

(They approach her.)

Eiko: Uh... Hi. Can I... help you guys...?

Boss: Nope. But maybe we can help you.

Eiko: I... I need to get home, so...

(She tries to go around the boss, but his lackeys block her path. She gulps nervously, and backs away from them. Suddenly, a familiar gloved hand is placed on her shoulder. Eiko looks up to see Famo.)

Eiko: Fa...

(Famo steps forward to address the three.)

Famo: Don’t you three have better things to do than pick on innocent girls?

Boss: Look, lady, we’re not pickin’ on her. We’re just-

(Famo fixes him a stern glare. If looks could kill, he’d be completely atomized.)

Boss: ...Dangit. C’mon, guys. (leaves)

Lackey#1: Aw, what the heck, boss?!

(As the terrible trio take their leave, Famo looks back at Eiko.)

Eiko: Wh... Whoa...

Famo: On the off chance that any more like them arrive, you should come with me.

Eiko: What, to your place? (considers this) ...Okay...?

(Scene change to the two walking down an unfamiliar pathway.)

Famo: That was a near thing. You were lucky I was here.

Eiko: Yeah, thanks for that, by the way. (thinks) *Should I really be following Famo? She seems nice, and she did drive off those guys back there, but I still don’t know anything about her!* (remembers Heisuke and the book) *What if she’s…*

Famo: Are you alright?

Eiko: Huh?

Famo: You still seem a bit tense.

Eiko: Uh, y-yeah. I’m fine.

(Famo smiles, and they continue walking. They reach an old summer house.)

Eiko: Huh. So is this where you live?

Famo: Where I’m staying, actually. It’s only temporary.

Eiko: Ah. Right.

(Famo goes up to the front door, and seems to snap her fingers instead of using a key. The door opens, and they both enter.)

Famo: Make yourself at home.

Eiko: Thanks.

(She sits down on a couch and looks around. A black cat, similar to Kuro-chan, rests on the stairway.)

Eiko: (thinks) *Famo’s pet...*

(She looks back at Famo, sensing something strange about her. Famo notices this.)

Famo: Is something wrong, Eiko?

Eiko: Uh… no. Heh-heh. Where’s your phone?

Famo: In the hallway. Would you like something to eat after your call?

Eiko: Okay.

(As Famo enters the kitchen, Eiko goes into the hall, finding the phone. She picks up the receiver, then stops. She puts it back, tiptoes to the kitchen door and peeks in, seeing Famo before an empty tray. As she watches. Famo snaps her fingers, and a whole batch of cookies appear in a puff of smoke. Eiko puts her hand over her mouth in shock. Brief flashback to earlier that day...)

Heisuke: They say a witch has come to Futaba.

(Flashback to the book...)

Eiko: (thinks) *”A Witch’s Profile: Mysterious, owns a cat, rides on a broomstick, often wears gloves, is capable of smelling the blood of human children... is capable of using magic…”* (flashback ends) *Oh god. It is her!*

(Eiko slowly backs away from the kitchen, then turns around and runs for the door. She is just about to turn the doorknob... only to freeze at Famo’s voice.)

Famo: Eiko?

(Eiko quickly turns around to see Famo holding the tray.)

Eiko: S-Stay back!

Famo: W-What?

Eiko: I knew the rumors were true! (points at Famo) You’re a… a…

(Famo’s eyes widen. She drops the tray and starts forward.)

Famo: Wait! Please don’t-

Eiko: ...a real witch!

(Famo gasps. Then, steam shoots out of her nostrils, and she screams, her body beginning to glow eerily. She is launched up into the air, and is propelled around the room like a deflating balloon as Eiko, clinging to the door, closes her eyes tightly. The cat on the stairway watches, visibly horrified. Finally, Famo’s screams die down, and what is left of her falls to the floor with a SPLAT. Eiko opens one eye, then the other as she sees what has become of the witch. A puddle of green slime is all that remains.)

Eiko: (thinks) *Mother of Mercy, I killed her! Is... Is it safe to use the phone for real? Wh... What should I do?

(Step by step, she approaches the slime, and crouches down to inspect it. Suddenly, it begins to move, startling her. The slime reforms into a small bloblike creature, almost like a frog, but not really. The thing has four stubby limbs and an almost chibi-like appearance. Five curls of black hair stick out from its head, and it’s wearing Famo’s necklace. It looks down at itself.)

Blob: (in Famo’s voice) Why...?

(Eiko comes to a realization.)

Eiko: Fa… Famo?

(The blob looks up at Eiko, revealing a face consisting of puffy, reddish lips and small, beady, yet familiarly colored golden eyes. Eiko lets out a small gasp. The two stare at each other, when suddenly...)

Girl’s Voice: YOU!!!

(Eiko jumps to her feet and looks around wildly for the source of the voice. She notices the cat glaring at her angrily. Then the cat speaks.)

Cat: You did this!

Eiko: (thinks) *Ohdeargodthecat’stalkingthecat’stalkingthisistoomuchformetohandleIneedtogetrightthefrickoutofhereNOW.*

(Before she can leave, the cat leaps off of the stairs towards her.)

Eiko: (covering her face) AH, NOT THE FACE, I’M TOO YOUNG-

(The cat abruptly changes into a tiny, flying woman midair. She has long, wavy black hair and orange eyes, and wears a tan conical hat and silky red clothing, with no shoes. This new being seizes the collar of Eiko’s school shirt.)

Tiny Girl: You turned Majofamo into a witch frog, you little- (draws back her fist)

Blob!Famo: Riri, calm down! It’s no use shouting at her.

(The tiny girl, Riri, looks at Famo, then at Eiko before slumping her shoulders and letting go.)

Riri: Alright, alright. But she still has to take responsibility!

Eiko: Whoa, whoa, take responsibility? How? I have no idea how I did this! All I did was say she was a witch, and then this happened!

(Famo hops over to Eiko.)

Famo: Let me explain. We witches have been living under a curse.

Eiko: A curse?

Riri: Yeah. A curse that you just triggered.

Famo: When a witch’s identity is discovered by a human, that witch is punished by being forced to become a witch frog. The only one capable of restoring her to her normal form is the one who exposed her.

Eiko: Y-You mean… I have to change you back? B-But I don’t know any spells!

Famo: That’s why we’re going to train you. 

Eiko: Wait, train me? I get to become a… a witch too?

Famo: Of course. But for now, you must become a witch apprentice. To become a true witch, you have to undergo various tests.

Eiko: Tests? But I haven’t studied! I don’t even have a #2 pencil!

Famo: There’s no need for that. And don’t worry. I’m sure you will do just fine.

Riri: Wait a minute, Majofamo! Do you really think this girl has the guts to become a real witch?

Famo: We have no other choice. Besides, I sense potential in her.

(Eiko eyes widen in wonder.)

*Eyecatch*

(Scene: Still at the old summer house. Famo—or Majofamo—and Riri are on a small table. Before them, Eiko is seated on a wooden chair.)

Riri: Listen up, kid! If you think your training is gonna be a cakewalk, then you’re sadly mistaken. If you wanna make it through this, you’re gonna have to do as we say.

Eiko: Wait, how long will this take, exactly? ‘Cause my family’s expecting me home any time now.

Riri: ...Wow, you’re dumber than you look.

Majofamo: Riri.

Riri: What?!

Eiko: So, uh, how do we get started? Is there a guidebook to this sorta thing or something?

Majofamo: Actually, it’s very simple. (to Riri) Riri, could you bring the chest from my room?

Riri: Fine. Whatever.

Majofamo: (to Eiko) Follow me.

(Eiko complies. Famo hops up to the back door, grabs and turns the doorknob and hops outside and onto a glass table. As Eiko enters the backyard as well, Riri lowers a small, colorful wooden chest on a rope support onto the table.)

Riri: (huffing) Here!

Majofamo: In here are what all witch apprentices need.

(Eiko opens the chest to find six circular objects. Each one has colorful buttons along its rim, and a larger one in the center with a musical note emblem. She picks one up.)

Eiko: Wow. So what do I do with this?

Majofamo: Just press the central button and put on your uniform.

Eiko: My uniform? Okay...

(Eiko presses the button, and the device begins to play music. It floats out of her hand, flashing colorful lights, until it forms a green dress and witch’s hat.)

Eiko: Whoa!

Riri: Hurry up and put it on!

Eiko: Wait, “hurry”? There’s a time limit?!

(As the dress floats down, Eiko grabs it and struggles to put it on.)

Eiko: Okay, how do I-

(The music stops, the dress and hat disappear, and Eiko is left holding the device.)

Eiko: Ah...

Riri: I told you to hurry! You have to put it on before the music stops!

Majofamo: It’s not the end of the world. Just try again.

Eiko: Okay, got it! Here goes...

(She presses the button again, and all happens as before. This time, she manages to pull the dress over her head. As she sticks her arms out through the sleeves, green opera gloves with colorfully beaded bracelets appear on her arms, and pointed green boots with pale green stockings magically materialize on her legs. She grabs the witch hat and puts it on before striking a pose.)

Riri: The fresh heck is with that pose...?

Eiko: This is so cool! So, what next?

Majofamo: Well, press the buttons “Do mi so do” on your Tap.

Eiko: Gotcha! (looks down at the Tap on her front) Uh...

Riri: I got you.

(Riri presses the correct buttons, and a ball of light pops out, forming a pink wand with differently colored spheres in a glass tube. Eiko instinctively grabs it in midair.)

Eiko: Oh wow.

Majofamo: This is a magical instrument called a Peperuto Pollon. To cast spells, you must first say an incantation before announcing your wish. Your spell is “Hapupu Pafufun Pahapa Hapafa“.

Eiko: Okay. (raises the Pollon) Hapupu Pafufun Pahapa Hapafa: Make me a big chocolate cake!

(Sure enough, a chocolate cake appears on the table in a puff of smoke.)

Eiko: SWEET! It’s just like my birthday! 

(Suddenly, the cake is gone.)

Eiko: (sheepishly) ...What just happened?

Majofamo: It only lasted a little while because you're still a beginner. When you pass witch exams, your Pollon will cast more powerful magic.

Riri: Yeah, so stop wasting Spellspheres on personal stuff.

Eiko: Spellspheres?

Riri: See those balls inside the Pollon?

(Eiko inspects them. One is missing.)

Eiko: Oh yeah, those. So, it’s like Mana?

Riri: ...What.

Eiko: Like in a fantasy MMORPG. The kind my sister and I-

Riri: NEEEEERD!!!

Eiko: Wh-Wha?

Riri: Majofamo, just tell her how to summon her broom!

Eiko: Uh, yeah. What she said.

Majofamo: Well, to summon your broom, press the buttons “Do fa la do“.

Riri: These buttons right here! (presses said buttons)

(Another ball of light pops out, this time forming a broom, which Eiko catches.)

Eiko: Cool. So I can fly around on this?

Majofamo: Of course. But you have to be careful when-

(Eiko flies up into the air on her broom.)

Eiko: YEAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

(Majofamo and Riri stare up at her.)

Majofamo: Oh.

Riri: I’ll stop her.

(She flies after Eiko, who is beginning to have some difficulty flying.)

Eiko: Whoa! How do you steer this thing?!

(Riri lands on the tip of the broom, straightening it out.)

Eiko: Phew! Thanks, Riri.

Riri: Look, this isn’t just about your broom flying, okay? People could see you, and if you’re exposed, what happened to Majofamo could happen to you!

Eiko: Y-You mean... I could turn into a...

(Eiko imagines herself as a witch frog, frolicking hand in hand with Majofamo through a flowery field, both laughing merrily.)

Eiko: WHOA!

Riri: Yeah. 

Eiko: I could be an adorable green thing for the rest of my life?

Riri: Well, actually, only until- (realizes that Eiko missed the point) Whaddya MEAN “adorable”?! Look, let’s just... Let’s get you back to wherever you house is.

Eiko: Okay! (speeds of in the direction of her house, leaving Riri behind) WHOOOOOAAAAAAA!!!

Riri: HEY! (flies after her)

(Scene: The Kurokawa residence. Eiko flies in, followed by Riri.)

Eiko: BrakebrakebrakebrakebrakebrakeBRAAAAAAKE!!!

(She crash-lands in a tree in her backyard. She chuckles sheepishly before the branches break, sending her falling into a bush with a shout.)

Riri: (shaking her head) Rookie...

(Eiko staggers out of the bush, slightly dazed. Riri flies up to her and presses the central button on the Tap, causing the apprentice uniform and broom to disappear. Eiko is now back in her school uniform, holding the Tap.)

Riri: We’ll come here to check on you, just in case you decide to do anything stupid.

Eiko: Yeah, sure.

Riri: And make sure you stop by our place tomorrow, too.

Eiko: Okay, bye! (runs to the front of the house)

(Scene change to the house’s interior. Eiko takes off her shoes and runs to the stairs, passing her father along the way.

Eiko: Hi, Dad! Bye, Dad!

Mr. Kurokawa: Uh...

(Eiko runs upstairs to her room. There, she collapses onto her bed.)

Eiko: (thinks) *This is amazing. Me, learning magic from a real witch!* (looks at the Tap in her hand) *I gotta make sure I’m not dreaming all this...*

(She pinches her cheek hard, and flinches from the pain.)

Eiko: OW! Okay, definitely real!

(Scene change to Rie coming home from Yuka’s place. Once inside the Kurokawa house, she takes off her shoes, and heads for the stairs.)

Rie: I’m home.

Mr. Kurokawa: How was your day?

Rie: Meh.

(She goes upstairs, and Eiko sees her.)

Eiko: Hi, Rie!

Rie: Hey, Eiko.

Eiko: So, uh, how’d it go at Yuka’s?

Rie: Eh, we just ate and watched TV. What about you?

Eiko: Uh...

Rie: What, you’re still on about the whole witch thing? I told you, it’s just a rumor!

Eiko: Well, actually, ah...

(Just then, she remembers what Riri told her.)

Riri: ...If you’re exposed, what happened to Majofamo could happen to you!

Rie: What?

Eiko: Nothing. Bye. (goes back into her room and shuts the door)

(Scene change to Eiko in her room, looking at her Tap in thought.)

Eiko: (thinks) *Can I really keep a secret from my own family? I mean, this is some really big news, here! But, then again, if I tell anyone...*

(She imagines the earlier witch frog scenario again.)

Frog!Eiko: (laughing) AAHH, I BOTCHED IT!

(Back in reality...)

Eiko: ...Oh my god.

(Meanwhile, in Rie’s room, she thinks to herself.)

Rie: (thinks) *All this witchy talk, and now Eiko’s acting weirder than usual... Just what is my little sister up to?*

ED Theme: Koisuru Fortune Cookie by AKB48

On the Next Episode...

Eiko: WHAAT?? Famo’s house is...

Riri: Getting torn down, yeah. That’s why we need someplace to stay!

Eiko: Well, how about my place?

Rie: Eiko, What are you hiding?!

Eiko: Oh no, Rie’s getting wise! Now what?!

Next Time on Magical Eiko: The Suspicious Sister

Wishing you a magical day!

[lucy-in-the-house]

☆~Oc info sheet~☆

So I decided to get off my lazy @ss and post this :b

^^^sketch of my oc(tails and ears not included)doing one of her favorite passtimes, free-run parkour in search of a wall to graffiti^^^

☆*Full name*☆

Lucy Jeanette Eileen Giroud

☆*Nicknames*☆

Lu

"The fox"

☆*Sign*☆

Scorpio

☆*Birthday*☆

16/11

☆*Age*☆

17 (physically)

☆*Status*☆

Alive

☆*Race*☆

Half human/half demon

☆*Ethnicity*☆

French-American-British

☆*Gender*☆

Pineapple. Just kidding, Female

☆*Height*☆

1m62

☆*Weight*☆

50kg

☆*Blood type*☆

HH, also known as 'Bombay Blood'

☆*Eye color*☆

Hazel

☆*Hair color*☆

Orange/Red

☆*Occupation*☆

2nd year highschool student, or in France: Terminale student. And the personal bodyguard of the heir to a worldwide criminal organization.

☆*Relatives*☆

-Eliott Giroud (older brother).

-Lisana Teatly (Lily for short, childhood friend).

-Thomas Carlson (childhood friend)

☆*Hobbies*☆

Drawing, 'performing arts' (dancing, singing, theatre,...), playing video games, watching anime and listening to Kpop.

☆*Favorite food*☆

Chocolate and any soft, and not sour, candy.

☆*Favorite drink*☆

Powerade

Bubble tea

Iron bru (for the meme)

☆*For dem shipzzzz*☆

I like to ship her with Laito :3

/(0^0)/

☆*Quotes*☆

"Crazy is such an ugly word. I prefer... mentally unstable."

"I ain't no fox!"

"You vamps are literally oversized mosquitos"

"*Irish accent* you wanna go mate? You wanna fight? I'll bash ye 'ead in! I swear on meh mom I'll destroy ya!"

"Well imma just skiddadle the heck outta here"

"Hon Hon Hon I am very française!"

"GO GET DESTROYED!"

"*T pose* I'm the meme Lord and punmaster. Fear my powerrrrr..."

"If you're feeling suicidal you came to the right place! Cuz I'm gonna f*****g kill myself as well"

"BTS are true Gods. No need for Jesus when I got these sunshines."

☆*Clothes*☆

She will usually wear a red or purple hoodie with black shorts (sometimes jeans) with pink thigh highs and white shoes. She always has three hairclips to hold up the right part of her fringe. She has a pair of red glasses but doesn't wear them often because she forgets. She is very pale (mostly because of her unbalanced health) and is a bit chubby, she's a bit too busty for her age (but seriously doesn't give a damn).

☆*Personality*☆

She's a really laid back and bubbly girl, who has a bad case of swearing, and talking about morbid subjects with problem. She a good person, though she might be psycopathic. However, she's absolutely horrible at socializing, as a child she never had the chance to, so she has difficulty opening up to others, or speaking to people she isn't familiar with. Apart from that, she can get very sassy and sarcastic with a pinch of salt. She gets easily triggered like say sh&t about her fam and she'll diss yo @ss. She's also a 'daredevil', and will never say no to a challenge. She a kind soul with a pinch of spicyness and MEMES.

And although she's a weirdo, she a good and respectful student.

And I almost forgot, she a Kpop fan and an otaku (not a weaboo) so her social life is n o n e x i s t a n t.

☆*History*☆

(Note: her history is long, but if you read it all you'll get a cookie🍰🍩🍰🍪🍪🍪🍪)

Lucy was born in an average family. She grew up in france, though she was born in america. Her life at home was pretty normal, though she didn't get along very well with her father or siblings, but Lucy was pretty close to her mother who was like a best friend to her. At school however, she was constantly bullied, both mentally and physically. The reasons were one because she was the only child with red hair in her school (and they thought she had some contamination), and because she didn't fit in any social groups.

She grew up thinking she was a freak of nature and a disgrace, cursed to be alone, that love was something she'd ever experience and learned that the only way to be left alone was by being creepy and/or violent.

However, she managed to make friends with two people, and she made her mind to protect them no matter what. The bullying went on for 10 years. Her parents tried taking her to therapists, doctors, psycologist, but not one could fix her broken mind. So the only option they had left was to send her away to her Uncle and Cousin, after that day, she never saw her biological family again. (Except for her brother)

Her cousin Caitlin (who is now dead) was like an older sister, and was nice to her. She soon found out that her family came down from generations of monster hunters, her uncle was one, and so was her cousin, her cousin taught her how to fight, and the weakness of practically every monster that she could remember. But her cousin's intentions behind educating her on this topic was to find herself a replacement, to kill a demon she had summoned a few years back. Caitlin had sacrificed her soul to a demon to obtain the weapon needed, which she gave to Lucy.

After her cousin dissapeared, she went back to her hometown and reunited with her friends. She spent the next year hunting the demon her cousin was aiming for, but little did she know that the demon was also looking for her. When they finally encountered, it was a hard battle. Lucy won, but barely alive, having a big scar going across her torso. But before the demon died, it infuses its soul into Lucy's body, giving Lucy it's powers and cursing her with immortality. After that fight, she went back to her friends. They traveled down to the South of France and settled there, trying to live 'normal' lives... Until one day, she received orders from [...] to live with the sakamakis.

☆*Relationships*☆

-Eliott: they almost never interact, although they are family. They only speak when it comes to business or important matters.

-Lily: they are very close, Lily is one of the only two people who know Lucy inside out. Lucy has sworn to protect Lily even if it would cost her life. They love to hangout together and cry over fandoms.

-Thomas: same as Lily, except he's like a mom, always taking care of Lucy, even when she says she doesn't need help, they both share a love for kpop and anime. Lucy's emotional bond with Thomas is stronger than anyone else she's close to, even Lily.

☆*Abilities*☆

As Lucy is half demon, she gained most of the abilities of the demon who infused itself into her, who was a shadow demon:

-increased strength and hearing

-teleportation

-she can sorta float

-the shadow realm: by jumping into a shadow (a person's shadow, object's shadow, any shadow at all) she can enter an dimension called "the shadow realm", a place only shadow demon may access

-a little thing I like to call Katherine: Katherine was the 'name' of the demon Lucy fought with, this ability activities when she deadly mad or under too much stress or pressure that she just snaps and goes psycho. She has strange black tentacles (like a kagune from Tokyo ghoul). She will attack anything around her. Only Thomas and Lily can control her under this form.

Lucy has been fighting since as long as she can remember, so she is very skilled in the domaine.

Although she might not have all the abilities of the demon, she's still more powerful than a demon, as the fact she has emotions (which demons don't) has a great impact on her powers.

Lucy can't die from age ot sickness. But she candie from bloodloss and getting wounded, as she heals only slightly faster than a human.

☆*other info*☆

1-Lucy was the second eldest of her biological family.

2-she enherited half of her father's company (the other half her older brother) and her family's mansion.

3-she an absolute virgin :/ *le sad music*

4-She's left handed, therefore her capacity at cutting meat is non-exigent (true story, left handed people struggle more at cutting meat, and I'm talking out of experience because I am left handed)

5-she speaks fluent English and French (Those were the two languages she spoke throughout her childhood), she also learned German, Japanese and is trying to learn Korean. She's also fluent in Shakespearean and in both English and Australian slang.

6-in the south of France, she goes to a highly reputed international campus.

7-lucy doesn't like physical contact whatsoever, except for Thomas and Lily, and she can just about tolerate Laito but She gets really flushed and embarrassed. She gets uncomfortable when people touch her hair, shoulders, lower back and thighs, if someone does touch her there she'll flinch and try to pry them off.

8-she only wears clothes that fully cover her body because she's a very self aware person and she's covered in scars because of her sh&tty childhood.