#i made a big purchase a few days ago and now i have no money to live a regular raccoon life

[guaxinimraccoon]

hi hello I’m taking commissions c:

Ya gal Guax be in need of some money to buy some trash

About the Do’s and Dont’s just ask me! (yes this is my excuse for being lazy)

DM me if you’re interested :]

[poraphia]

Maybe the soap opera drama has a tight grip on my braincells BUT

imagine siren with a love interest who keeps. Getting. Into. Bad. Relationships.

not BAD bad relationships, just— people that are kind of pricks. One guy accidentally leaves the door open and their cats escape (and he doesn’t give a single fuck, just keeps watching tv and when the reader comes home from work he’s like “oh yeah ur cats escaped a few hours ago”), another never shows up on dates, one is just an arrogant prick, the other is boring as hell and has nothing in common with the reader——

Just

that must STING for siren. Like—— he’s right there????? He’d never think that he would be ENTITLED to a relationship with the reader, NEVER— but why can’t he be your type??

10/10 angst for him id say

he can’t even convince himself that he would be BETTER for the reader because he’s a villain

idk

"i found your cat, not him."

➵ PAIRING! clinic!siren!wilbur x civilian!taken!reader

➵ CREATING! 12.17.23 | 3631 words

➵ CONTAINING! jealous wilbur, reader has a cat, reader has a bf, jester talking some sense into siren, heartbroken wilbur

➵ SAYING! this took some days to work on but look! it’s finally done! i had a lot of ups and downs and probably switched up the plot a couple times but here it is :D thank uuu @listenheresweaty for suggesting this honestly i was thinking about writing this the moment u suggested it and now i have free time so yippie. hope yall enjoy :D

My masterlist :)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

(y/n) had a reputation to have a terrible taste in partners. Whether it be a girlfriend that refused to take them on a date and made (y/n) plan all of the dates out, or the boyfriend they had now, who “accidentally” left the door open, letting their cat escape. Wilbur watched from the window as the desperate (y/n) approached any passerby, showing a picture of their feline, just to have any sort of direction as to where it might be.

Wilbur wasn’t a hero of any sorts. The clothes on his back were purchased with money robbed from the bank down the street, and the laptop he was using to do his work on was stolen from some tech store in the mall. And don’t even get him started on his body count that could fill a graveyard. His powers were venom dripping from his tongue, and he was nothing but a snake.

So what made Wil get up from his seat to tap the shoulder of a helpless (y/n)?

Maybe because this person was an interest of Wil’s for quite some time now. From seeing them inside the coffee shop from time to time, to even catching the glimpse of the back of their head as they boarded the bus— It was like this person was meant to be in Wil’s life. Though he just never had the excuse to go up to them. So instead, for weeks now, he has been admiring this person from afar, seeking for some type of opportunity to spark up a conversation.

“Hey.. Are you alright?” He asked. (y/n) turned around, a little out of breath from quickly speaking to anyone who approached them.

“Y-Yeah— no! No..” She sighed, breathlessly. They slumped against a nearby wall, almost defeated. “I— I lost my cat. She’s this sweet white ragdoll with a pink collar and big black eyes. My boyfriend left the door open and she just snuck right out! He said the cat’s been gone for a while now and he didn’t even bother helping.” They trailed off. “I know she’s here somewhere.. I don’t know..” They buried their face into their hands, frustrated with themself.

Wilbur looked at them with a tilted head and puffed up cheeks. Despite this being a stranger, he couldn’t help but feel a panging guilt in his chest. “Hey,” He placed a hand on their shoulder. “I think I might be able to find her.”

“..You think so?” They responded in a meek voice.

“I’m sure..” He replied in a gentle tone. “I usually work like really late in the city. Maybe I could find her on my way home? Just give me some form of communication and a picture and I’m sure I can find her.” He smiled reassuringly. (y/n)’s head perked up, and suddenly their face was beaming with hope. It was a look Wilbur wished he could screenshot with his eyes and keep it in his mind gallery.

“Thank you! You don’t know how much this means to me.” They gleamed. “Hold on— Let me give you my phone number. What was your name again?”

Something about this question made Wil freeze up a little. This complete stranger, telling him that he’s a good person, is also asking for his name? I mean, it’s not like its the first time someone asked his name. But being asked in such a kind and polite way, it almost took him back to when he first met Phil.

He shook his head, snapping out of his thoughts.

“Wilbur,” He finally said. “Call me Wil.”

After exchanging contact information they parted their separate ways. Wil decided to pack up his stuff and head back home. He took the train to his neighborhood and spent the whole ride staring at this picture of (y/n) with their cat he learned was named “Anvil.”

The picture was a selfie taken by (y/n) with Anvil pressing her fluffy face against her owner’s soft skin. It was a cute sentiment captured by their phone camera, and Wilbur knew it was a treasured picture of theirs. He took the time to admire the cat’s features. It had a mess of white fur, and would definitely stick out like a sore thumb in the midnight dark. The train came to a halt as it had arrived to Wil’s destination. It didn’t take but a fifteen minute to arrive home.

Wilbur inserted the keys into the doorknob before pushing the door open. He kicked the door behind him closed as he placed his coat and shoes by the shoe cabinet and dresser.

“Hey, Wil,” Phil called from the kitchen.

“Hey, dad.” He shouted back. Wil threw his bag onto the couch before sliding against the sleek wooden floor to the entrance of the kitchen. Phil’s wings were loosely hanging behind him as the man stir fried some ingredients into a wok. “What’s for dinner?” Wil asked.

“Oh, just some fried rice.” Phil shrugged. “Whatcha do today? Hang out at the cafe?”

“Ah, yeah, pretty much.” Wil said, leaning against the fridge. “I, uh, met someone today.”

“Oh?” Phil said, raising an eyebrow. “Someone, you say?”

“What— Hey! It’s not like that..” Wil rolled his eyes while crossing his arms. However that wasn’t enough to convince Phil.

“Well if you say so.” Phil smirked. “So, what happened?”

Wil turned around and grabbed a glass from the cabinet before pouring himself a glass of ice cold water. He took a sip before speaking. “Well, there was this person and— I’m not quite sure what it was about them but.. They had lost their cat, and I felt really bad, so I offered to help them. They sounded so kind and stuff, but like— Apparently their cat ran away because their stupid boyfriend decided to leave the door open?! And he didn’t ever bother to help—!” Wil took a deep breath before bringing the glass back to his lips.

“—Oi, what are you bitching about?” As if on queue, Tommy emerged from the stairs. His hair was a ruffled his mess and he stumbled a little as he walked as if he had just woken up.

“Oh, Wil is just upset about someone he just met losing their cat—” Phil tried to explain, but Wil was quick to butt in.

“They didn’t lose their cat! It was their damn boyfriend!” He corrected. “Like, for hours he even knew the cat escaped and he just let it happen?!”

“Uh oh, looks like big Wil over here is catching feelings!” Tommy snickered as he wrapped an arm around Wil’s neck.

“Ugh, stop—” Wil pushed him away, but Tommy was persistent with his teasing.

“Little Wilbur has a crushy wushy and will find that cat and propose to them OoOoOo!” Tommy chirped.

“—Dad! Tommy’s being a bitch!” Wil cried as he struggled to escape Tommy’s grasp. After enough pushing, Wil was able to shove Tommy away before forcing Tommy into a headlock.

“Hey! Agh— Get off me you big bastard!” Tommy exclaimed. But Wilbur stood firm as he restricted Tom’s limbs by embracing him tightly.

“Both of you stop playing in the kitchen! Now, go get Techno because the food is ready.” Phil ordered, sternly.

Reluctantly, Wil released his grip from Tommy. Tom rubbed his arms and gave a big side-eye look to Wil.

“Bitch.” Tom muttered.

“Tommy! Go!” Phil ordered again, leaving Wilbur a snickering mess as Tom did his walk of shame toward the steps.

After dinner with the Soots (and some convincing to the family that Wilbur was not in love with this stranger he had just met), Wil dressed in his disguise and entered the night as Siren, a profound villain known in L’manburg city. His first task at hand was to find Anvil in Eastside.

He sauntered through the night with his hands in his pockets and his eyes lurking the streets. The night was cold and quiet with only the hum of the streetlights occupying his ears. But his only goal was to listen to the sweet meow of a cat lost and frigid. Every alleyway he came across he made sure to go through it thoroughly, making sure that the cat wasn’t stuck in a garbage can or in a cardboard box.

“Fuck, where is this cat..?” Siren muttered under his breath. He began whistling, making any noise imaginable to summon the feline. To no avail, no cats came running his way. Instead, a rather confused Jester jumped down from a building and right in front of Siren.

“What.. Are you doing?” Jester asked. Though he was wearing his mask, Siren could already tell he was furrowing his eyebrows.

Siren scoffed before continuing to walk. “I’m looking for a cat.” He replied. “But I can’t find her anywhere. I’m supposed to get her before the morning so I can return it to its owner.”

Jester followed behind him, his hands behind his back. “And this is important because..?”

“I-It’s important to me!” Siren retaliated, but if anything, it made him seen more desperate.

Jester sighed before shaking his head. “Don’t tell me you’re doing this just to impress someone.”

“I-I don’t know man.” Siren finally admitted, though he continued looking left and right in an attempt to find (y/n)’s cat.

“Siren, you know we can’t be doing this— y’know, trying to date and all of that. We’re villains. What do we do if they find out, and the whole syndicate is reported? Plus, you know how we are. We’re ‘evil.’” Jester made sure to put the last word into air quotes. “At least to society we are. We have to face the truth—”

Though Jester’s words were going one ear and out the other, some of them still stuck in Siren’s head. Sure, this wasn’t the first time Siren wanted to form a close bond with someone outside of the syndicate— I mean look at Tommy. He adjusted comfortably. But I guess this time it was different. This was a complete stranger that he met as a civilian, and now he was out as Siren looking for their cat! The more Siren thought about, the more he felt foolish.

Suddenly, a loud meow could be heard from an alleyway just to the left of Siren. Jester ceased his talking and looked at Siren, who was staring at Jester right back.

“Is that the—”

“Shhh..” Siren brought his finger to his lips to quiet down Jester. Slowly, Siren approached the alleyway with Jester steadily following behind him. Lo and behold was Anvil, perched on top of a cardboard box that sat right on top of a garbage can.

“How’re you going to get it?” Jester whispered.

“Just watch.” Siren cleared his throat. He picked up a spare cardboard box that was lying around and held it up near ground level for the cat to easily jump into. “Anvil, come and sit in this box.”

A moment of silence passes between the three of them as the cat laid comfortably in her seat, not planning to move anytime soon.

“Uh, was that supposed to do something?” Jester asked sarcastically. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

“What the.. Anvil, come here now!” I demanded once again. As if taunting me, the cat simply licked her paws in response. Jester couldn’t help but to burst out laughing.

“Are you telling me your powers don’t work on cats?!” Jester gasped between laughs. “That’s fucking hilarious! Hopefully the Heroes won't find out about this one!”

“Shut up, dude!” Siren fussed at him. It took a bit for Jester to settle down his laughter with hands up out of protest.

“Sorry, sorry.. I just think it’s way too fucking funny.”

“Help me get this fucking cat, dude!” Siren exclaimed, clearly annoyed now. Siren turned around, now facing the cat again. He decided to kneel down to ground level with the box now on the floor.

Siren whistled to grab the feline’s attention. “C’mere, Anvil! Come here, buddy!” But the cat simply ignored the masked man.

“Hm, do you have a picture of the owner?” Jester asked.

“Oh, uh, yeah—” Siren took out his phone and tapped on a few things before pulling up the picture of (y/n) and Anvil. Siren looked at it one last time before showing the screen to Jester. He studied the face carefully, even grabbing the phone himself for him to examine.

Then with a simple head shake, Jester transformed his face into (y/n). It was an uncomfortable sight seeing their head on Jester’s body, but it definitely sparked the interest of Anvil.

“Come here, Anvil, come here!” Jester exclaimed as knelt down. Even his voice was near identical to (y/n). Obediently, the cat hopped off of the garbage can and into the arms of Jester, purring gingerly as she snuggled into his chest. I gave Jester an amused look as he smirked smugly.

“So, am I getting paid for this?” Jester asked as he carefully placed the feline into the box.

“To be fair, you volunteered to help. I didn’t ask.” Siren replied.

“Touche.”

Siren and Jester walked together until they were able to change into civilian clothes to avoid any conflict. It was important for Jester to maintain the face of (y/n) to keep the cat as calm as possible. Despite Siren knowing that it was just his friend and business associate under that form, he couldn’t help but stare at the face of (y/n). How their hair flowed as they walked and how their eyes glowed even under the moonlight. It felt too enchanting to even be real.

“Hey, you good bro?” Jester’s voice was the only thing to throw Siren out of his delusions.

“Yeah— yeah I’m fine.” Siren muttered, looking away. Jester rolled his eyes before sighing.

“Dude, what did I just say about getting attached to anyone?” Jester lectured once again.

“I— I know.” Siren replied defeatedly. “I know..”

“It’s dangerous for you, and whoever this—” Jester pointed as his own face. “—person you’re so infatuated with. It would be dangerous for not only you, but for them too. Imagine how much trouble they would be in knowing that they’re in relations with a supervillain.”

“I know, Jester!” Siren cried. The both of them stopped in their tracks. Even the cat laid still in it’s box. The midnight crickets filled the empty air between the two villains. “I get it— it’s too dangerous for me. It’s too dangerous for them. I’m evil. I’m going to put them in danger— I just— ugh!” Siren tilted his head back in frustration.

As he bit the inside of his cheek to hold back any bitter words he had the urge to say, Jester stood there and stared at him. It hurt even more seeing the person of interest saying these words to him. Jester quickly transformed back into his regular mask and placed a hand on Siren’s shoulder.

“Look man, I’m sorry..” Jester apologized. “I’m just worried about you, alright? Don’t want anything happening to you, especially what went down this past year.” Siren tilted his head back to look at him, and though his eyes were shielded, he could tell they were full of sincerity and reassurance.

“Yeah..” Siren voiced. “I guess I’m just tired. I don’t know. Let’s hurry home soon.”

“Alright.” Jester agreed.

The two were able to change out of their villain disguises in an abandoned warehouse without anyone noticing them. They then made their separate ways, leaving Wilbur and the cat in careful silence on walk home. Once Wil made it to the front door, he was careful in making up the steps to his room where he would keep the cat. Thankfully, he didn’t have to worry about disturbing anyone’s sleep considering that Phil and Techno were at a meeting and Tom could be quite the heavy sleeper.

Wil shut his bedroom door behind him and placed the cardboard box next to his closet. Though the cat was sound asleep now, he made sure to tuck in the feline with any spare blankets he had lying around before changing into his sleepwear and laying down in bed.

Wil pulled out his phone and texted (y/n).

Wilbur Hey, able to meet me at the cafe sometime tomorrow morning? I have you cat :)

Surprisingly, they responded.

(y/n) OMG really?! Thank you so much! I’ll see you tomorrow x

‘x’? Don’t those usually mean kisses? They probably just meant it in a friendly way. Or maybe they’re showing an interest in Wilbur? Nah, that can’t be possible. But what if? What if they’re interested in Wilbur?

Regardless of what (y/n) intended when they signed off with that little letter, Wilbur only slept a mere two hours.

The next day, Wil was ecstatic despite his lack of sleep. It was as if in a blink of eye he was in bed, but then the next moment he was scarfing down his breakfast and bolting out the door with Anvil’s box in his arms.

After all this time, he finally was able to do some sort of action to get (y/n)’s attention. To finally place himself in their field of view, and maybe, just maybe, they would have some sort of interest toward him. The thought made Wilbur’s heart flutter, making him feel like his body lifted which each step he took.

Wil had finally made it to the cafe, and right on time for that matter too. The building was just up-ahead. Wilbur took a deep breath, his chest pounding from adrenaline, anxiousness, and maybe a bit of excitement sprinkled in there as well. He looked down at the cat, who was previously buried in a sheet. She was now looking up at the man with big beady eyes staring right back at him. The charm to her collar clinked as it waved side to side.

“Okay, Anvil, I’m gonna return you to your owner now, alright? I-I’m sure she’s missing you.” Though he was just simply talking to a cat, this was (y/n)’s cat. And he was returning (y/n)’s cat! He was! Not some other kind stranger, not her family, not even her dirtbag boyfriend. It was Wilbur who would be returning this cat. Without him, Anvil wouldn’t be safe and sound in someone capable to protect a feline from the treacherous night.

With a proud smile, Wil approached the cafe with confidence radiating off his strides.

This was it, he thought.

This was it.

But was it?

He looked in the window to locate (y/n), but instead he found a sight more displeasing. the sight made his heart drop and his knees weak, but it took all his strength and awareness that he was holding a cat to keep himself steady. (y/n) was huddled up next to what seemed to be their incompetent boyfriend. Their head leaned against his shoulder, but the boyfriend did not return the affection. Instead he sat with his hands both placed on his phone, seemingly playing some idle shooting game to occupy his absent mind.

It took (y/n) noticing that Wil was at the window for Wilbur to break out of his mind. Their face beamed at the sight of their cat, and immediately they got up and rushed out of the door to greet him and her feline.

“Anvil, sweetheart!” They exclaimed. The cat immediately perked her head to face her owner before jumping out of the box and into (y/n)’s arms. Wil smiled contently at the sight, however his brain felt all kinds of fuzzy. As if he wasn’t really there.

“Thank you so much! You don’t know how much this means to me. Thank you, Wil, seriously!” Something about (y/n) saying his name made him wince. It felt like a hug before a stab in the chest. Regardless, he pushed through.

“Yeah, of course. I told you I would get her as soon as possible.” Wilbur said.

“You’re an actual lifesaver! I’m sorry if she put you through any trouble. Can I buy you a coffee or?” (y/n) offered. Though the offer was tempting, he didn’t feel comfortable spending another second seeing him and them together. Especially at such a close proximity.

“I-I’m fine,” Wil quickly muttered. “I have to go somewhere in a bit. I’ll catch you later, yeah?”

“Of course! Thank you again, truly.” (y/n) smiled. He simply nodded before turning and walking away.

Though Wil could argue that the man (y/n) calls their boyfriend is a prick, it’s not like he would be any better. Just like Jester said. That man could sit on his ass all day, not care for their cat, not care for them, and yet, he would still be the better option between him and Wilbur.

Wilbur is evil.

Wilbur is a villain.

Wilbur has killed countless living people compared to that prick killing digital npcs for fun.

Though, the argument stapled in Wil’s mind.

Wil found (y/n)’s cat. Not him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

a / n ~ poor lil baby siren he just wants love :(( mayb ill do a part 2? i loved this concept ngl. notes of all kind are super duper appreciated :)) thank u for supporting my writing!

[larryisinlove]

MY LTWT 2022 vs MY FITFWT 2024 EXPERIENCE

This past Saturday, May 18th, I went to Louis’ show in Argentina, and I have a lot to say about it…

Let’s start with the show in general. When Louis announced the stadium he would be performing in (one show at Vélez Sarsfield - Capacity: 50k), in my mind I was already considering there was no chance of a sold out show, I already knew it wasn't going to happen. And it’s not that I don't believe in him or the amount of fans he has, but these are basic math to do and simple comparisons with his show in 2022 (two shows at Movistar Arena - Capacity: 15k). I won't go into details, but the chance of him selling out were a few, I won't say it was impossible, but it was difficult.

Here in Argentina, attending shows has become something that not everyone can afford to do, due to the high prices of the tickets. Besides the fact that many fans come from other provinces or distant cities, they need to pay for transport, hotel, food, etc. So, we can also blame the country's economy for not being able to sell out.

Although I maintain that the stadium was too big for him.

Let's not forget (or at least Argentinian fans still remember) that Louis did fill that same stadium, but with One Direction in 2014.

Something strange to note, and that some fans decide to pretend that it’s not strange at all, was that after months of tickets being on sale, and only a few sectors were completely sold out; only three days before the show, the rest of the sectors began to sell out completely. Are you going to tell me that in five months nobody could buy, the fans were collecting money, doing raffles, and in one day magically everything was sold out?

Now let's talk about the show…

My friend @anchorandrope (who I went with) and I had the cheapest sector, one of the highest stalls in the stadium. Both we and the fans who bought that sector were prepared, not only to withstand the cold that we knew we were going to suffer, but we also looked for comfort because we had seats and we were going to be able to be calmer in comparison to the general and VIP fields.

It was two hours before the gates opened, and the stadium staff started to tell us that we were going to have to move to another sector, specifically to the field. Nobody agreed, we paid for a specific ticket and "at the last minute" they decided to change us to another sector. There were long minutes of shouting between the fans and the stadium staff, where they gave us excuses as to why they were changing us, threatened us with not letting us in if we didn't accept this change and even blamed us for following an artist who didn't fill stadiums.

The funny thing is that they couldn't agree on a good excuse. While we were told it was because of problems in the toilets, a group further away were told it was a problem with the sound. If they knew days ago that they were going to change us, couldn't they agree on their lie?

I won't make this part of the story any longer, but much of my sector ended up in the general field, a much better sector than we originally had. But what was the problem? The problem was not being in that place, because I saw him much better than if I went where I should have been. The problem was the mistreatment, the thousand excuses they gave, being uncomfortable, because many of us didn't even have clothes for that sector, or we had backpacks that were too big with too many things, and if you know what it's like to be on the field, you know that you have to go with as few objects as possible.

The problem was all the parents who accompanied their children and got the cheapest seat for a reason, and they had to endure all those hours standing when they had purchased a sector with seats. And even if there were any children, I doubt that they would have been able to see or enjoy the show. There were people with a cast on their arm or with a disability that made it necessary to have a seated area, and they didn't care.

Let's move on to talk about the fans…

The atmosphere was tense.The hours of queuing and the hours of waiting inside the stadium were tense. Louis’ fandom is not what it used to be, and many of those who attended follow some trends imposed by a few fans on Twitter, so we were surrounded. With my friend we spoke in code or omitted to name certain words, because you never know who you have next to you, and at that moment the idea wasn't to look for trouble. You didn't feel that fandom togetherness that there was, and I know about that, I've been in fandom since 2011.

For example, during the queue before going in, an alarm I have on my phone for my contraceptive pill goes off and the song is Silver Tongues. My friend and I were laughing, and I told her that the song I used to use was Kiwi. I knew that she would understand me, that she understood the reference and wouldn't say anything, after all it was a joke with no offense intended, but you never know. The fans around us looked at us as if we were crazy or missing a joke (or just pretending not to understand).

I feel that this fandom lives in a cycle where every now and then we repeat the same “trends” over and over again, but that's a topic for a separate post. 

Regarding the age of fans, I don't have a problem and I don't have anything against new fans starting to listen to Louis, in fact, I strongly encourage him to continue to grow as an artist. But as a 23 year old, it was strange that every single person I talked to was under 20 years old. There were no fans my age, only a few exceptions, not even older. How can this happen? Where are all those fans who grew up with his music? Where are all those fans who were still his fans in 2022?

It wasn't just the tension between fans that was a factor in saying it was a strange show. There were no signs, no flags, as you could see at the 2022 show. Only the brave had been an iconic song at the last show, with its fan project of the LGBT+ flag created by lights in each sector. But this year, I could swear I could count on my fingers the flags I saw. I even read fans on Twitter saying that there was no point in bringing them to shows anymore, as if it was a temporary trend, or something from the Walls era.

When the show started, you could tell it wasn't the feel of a Louis’ show, there was something weird going on. The fans were silent, not singing along to the songs, including Walls. They were just recording. I understand if you don't know a cover from another artist, because I admit, I didn't sing both covers, but songs from his first album… How could you not know them? I could swear I could hear myself singing them and Louis.

The other sectors were silent as well, and those with seats were completely immobile.

In 2022, Copy Of A Copy Of A Copy was one of the songs where the fans sang the loudest, now none of them knew it, as if Louis was singing new songs. I know there are fans who didn't live through the One Direction era, or even despise everything related to it (another topic for another post), but how can they not sing songs like Night Changes or Where Do Broken Hearts Go? Again, in 2022 these covers would have been screamed until fans’ voices were gone.

You couldn't see the dedication or fanaticism for Louis. I could easily believe they just grabbed people passing by the door and let them in. I wouldn't even find it crazy if they had done it either.

In the two years that have passed between shows, it’s disappointing and sad to see this change. And if it wasn't for the fact that I was accompanied, I don't think I would have had a good time in all those long hours of waiting. I would understand if it was the other way around, and this was Louis' first show, and he didn't have the years of career that he has, and the recognition that he has.

Since Saturday, I've had a bad taste in my tongue because of everything that happened at the show. And I'm not the only one who can say these things. I know there are fans who are blinded by their fanaticism and will say that everything was perfect, or will argue that Louis could have sold out (because it happened to me), but it's a matter of taking a moment, thinking and being realistic.

It doesn't make me a bad fan to say his fandom is being horrible lately, it doesn't make me a bad fan to say he wasn't going to sell out. And let's stop blaming each other for this situation and start looking at who are the real culprits in all this?

There is a lot more to tell, but the post would become too long. If anyone wants me to tell more, they can send me an ask and I’ll be happy to continue to explain this.

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

cowboy!reader i feel would be a big baker. casually just bringing in bread and cookies. one of the other agents is sick? they get dropped off their favorite treats and a water bottle. bad day? cookies on your desk the next day. i also feel like he would be a gardener or at the very least have an unhealthy amount of house plants. also a bird watcher. i have so many ideas oh boy.

- 🦦 (if not taken)

🦦isn't taken (I didn't even realise it was an emoji omg it's so cute) Also send me all the ideas please!!!

Cowboy reader taglist: (it's only one person but let me know if you wanna be tagged lol) @xweirdo101x

"Hey, y'all does anyone have any allergies?" You asked, walking into work one morning, tupperware box in hand.

"No," Hotch answered, before looking at you slightly cautiously. "Why?"

"I er, I was feeling, um, anxious? I guess," You said, placing your hat on your desk and dragging your hand over your hair, "So I baked. And I thought, since there's only me and I got a bit carried away, that y'all might want some?"

Spencer peaked over, "What's in the tub?"

"Oh, er, my Grandmama's cookies," You said with a grin as you pointed at the top tub, "And my Mama's sourdough bread."

A few days passed since then and you had made a habit of bringing in a tub of baked goods each day (you weren't lying when you said you have baked a lot). You got in early, expecting to be the first one there when you noticed Spencer sat at his desk, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Spence, you feeling a'right?" You asked, approaching the younger agent. Spencer looked at you giving a small nod. Seeing him hesitate, you sat down next to him, "I know I ain't a 'talk about my feelin's' kinda man, but I'm here if you wanna talk,"

"I- Cases like this make me wonder if I'm even making a difference."

You take a moment to let what he's saying sink in, "Kid, I want you to know that what I'm about to say is comin' from the bottom of my heart... But we'd be stuck six cases ago if it weren't for you." You state, "You're the reason we get through so many cases - don't tell Penelope I said that - but it's true. I ain't a man of feelin's and sentimental words, but you're the reason this team keeps goin'. Please don't even doubt yourself, because you're the most valuable member of this team."

Spencer doesn't say anything, just continues staring at his hands, "I- I'm not quite sure what to say to that..."

"There's nothin' to say, Kid." You give him a grin, "I'm just spittin' truth... Now don't tell anyone, but I got some cookies in my bag if you want 'em?" When Spencer nods, you fish through the bag, grabbing the box and hand them over. "Let me know what you think, I tried somethin' different."

"Thanks," He says softly, standing up to head to the breakroom.

"Oh, and er, don't forget to hydrate and all that," You add before making your way to your desk.

Bonus: The team meet (Y/N)'s house plants.

"This is Wyatt," You said, "He's a spider plant. And my baby," The team share a confused look, "And this is Percy, he's a money tree. These are my children and if anything happened to them I would cry."

"What about the others?"

"I haven't gotten round to naming them all just yet," You said with a shrug, "They're all new purchases,"

"How new?"

"Last month or so," You said, "I buy one or two after a hard case... We have a lot of hard cases..."

Silence filled the air, no one quite sure what to say, "Anyone want a cookie?" You asked, "I baked them last night,"

You watched the team fight for the box with a confused look.

[cowboydisaster]

The Fire In Your Eyes

part II: blackwater i

originally posted on 22 february 2023

pairing: Arthur Morgan x fem!reader

word count: 4k

summary: you start to settle in with the gang, making some friends and some enemies. As you acclimate to your new life, parts of you miss the freedom of solitude, while a new feeling drives you towards companionship.

a/n: chapter two is here! For those of you that missed the post, I will be updating this series with a new chapter every wednesday. I'm super proud of this one. Thanks to @margowritesthings for being my beta reader, biggest supporter, and my ride or die

SERIES MASTERPOST

"The hell did you buy in there anyway? A book?" You ask, trotting closer to Arthur and Boadicea to peek over his reins. There's a little leather bound book in his hands that he angrily stuffs into his satchel. You’ve both just left the general store in Blackwater after picking up some supplies for the good of the camp. You have no money, but Arthur had brought camp funds to purchase supplies for everyone. While in the store, he’d found a small leather bound book, and you’ve been thinking about it since you both left the store.

"Ain't none of your business lady, now let's get back." He huffs, spurring Boadicea into a canter past the old withering Blackwater church. The sound of hooves on dirt is loud as you push the horse, gripping tightly onto the saddle horn for extra stability.

"Well if it's none of my business, you shouldn't have bought it in front of me. That's on you." You counter, curious if Arthur even knows how to read, let alone enjoys it. You’ve only been with the gang for three and a half days, but in that time you’ve been able to observe the other gang members. Mostly, you’ve stuck to yourself, eating and working alone unless Ms. Grimshaw makes you work with the girls. But in that time, all you’ve seen Arthur do is physical labor, like chopping wood, going out on jobs, or planning with Dutch and Hosea. You had wrongfully assumed he’s the type of man who only entertains himself with liquor, women and fighting. Every day you seem to be proving yourself more and more wrong. 

"I bought it in front of you because I have to take you with me. You're like a goddamn pet, take my eyes off ya for a second and you're starting something. Dutch didn’t want you causin’ trouble so he told me to keep an eye on ya." 

Fury bubbles in your chest at the new information. This is about that big ugly bastard, what's his name. The past few days you've spent at their camp all he's done is sleep, drink and annoy everyone. He hasn't changed his sweat stained blue flannel since you've been there, and his big brown draft horse has never left the hitching post. He had made some rather crass comments about Arthur bringing you back and you punched him right in the face for it. Nearly knocked him on his ass. It got an amused chuckle out of Arthur, but the other gang members weren't too pleased about you strutting into their camp and starting fights. He started it, you just finished it. But of course you, the newcomer, are to blame and now you need a babysitter. 

"Gonna keep an eye on me, that's it? What- you're gonna sleep next to my bedroll too? Make sure I don't go out and start beating up the folk, even the ones that need it?" You growl, irritated with Dutch for giving you a chaperone, and at Arthur for being the chaperone. 

"If that's what it takes to keep that damn temper under control then, sure" Arthur laughs.

"I guess I'd rather go buyin' romance novels with you then sittin' back there with some of those fools." You bite, cantering towards the opening of the camp. 

"I- dammit woman, it ain't a book. It's a journal. Lost my old one some months ago in a fire.  I saw this one and I just picked it up..." He says. 

You're utterly shocked. He journals? A new little layer of this big tough outlaw falls away and you can peek into the man inside. He goes around saving women in distress and writes about his feelings? Well shit. 

"Never took you for a writer, Mr. Morgan, but it suits you well. Maybe one day you'll have to let me peek in there, see what goes on in that head a you-" 

You stop in your tracks at the sound coming from camp. It's a rat-like voice with a greasy, nasty vocabulary. He's yelling, harassing someone for something. It's an unfamiliar voice and you spur the buckskin faster after Arthur to find the source. Arthur doesn’t look entirely alarmed, more annoyed, as if he knows the voice. When he sees the worry on your face, he’s quick to respond.

"That's Micah… you steer clear of him, alright?" He asks, to which you don't answer.

As your horses slow, stepping into the camp, you hop down from the saddle, tossing your reins over the hitching post and jog into the open area filled with tents. 

"The hells goin' on now? You've been back five goddamn minutes and your stirrin' up a ruckus." Arthur calls out from beside you. 

A medium height, blonde man with a nasty smile and pale blue eyes turns around, running his fingers over his thick mustache. His red shirt is stained with what you assume to be the beer that he reeks of. It has filled his stomach, giving him a drinker’s gut and painting his nose with red blotches. Just the sight of him has you backing up a few steps.

"Awe, didntcha' miss me, Morgan?" He asks sarcastically, holding his arms out in mock disbelief. 

Arthur sports a deep scowl as he glares at Micah, stepping towards him. It's then that Micah notices you standing beside Arthur. You're much shorter than him, but you hold your chin up high, shoulders pushed back. Micah’s lips curl up in an eerie smile as he runs his eyes over your body.

"Well who might you be, madam?" Micah sneers. Pure anger and aggression pump through your veins as he slowly rakes his eyes over your figure. Then his eyes move around to the people in camp, lingering on Arthur's. 

"She claimed? You Morgan's whore then? Say, you think he'll share you with me?" Micah laughs maniacally, bending back and resting his hands on his gun belt. His blonde hair is filthy, his teeth even more so, everything about this man repels you. He's a snake, a shifty rat and you can see it from a mile away. 

"I ain't no one's whore." You squint, wishing to just take this bastard out and be done with it. 

"Careful, Micah. She'll tear you a new one." Arthur warns, seemingly hoping that you will. God, he would love to watch you beat the shit out of Micah. He'd pay to.  

Micah seems to be amused by this, laughing loudly and glancing around the camp to see if anyone heard Arthur. He doesn't believe for a fraction of a second that you could best him.

"I ain't afraid of an itty bitty lady," Micah steps forward, glancing down over you before shifting his eyes and addressing Arthur,

"She'd look real pretty on her knees for me, wouldn't she Ar-"

You knee him as hard as you can, right in the groin, causing him to bend at the waist and groan in pain. 

"Y-You bitch!" He yells, right before you slip a pair of metal knuckles that were in your pocket over your fingers and punch him square in the cheekbone. The knuckles cut up his face, blood trickling down his cheek before he falls over, completely knocked out cold. You're a small woman, but with some little adjustments, you're stronger than the men. You slip the knuckles off, sliding them back into your pocket and tapping them for good measure.

"Tried to warn the bastard…" Arthur sighs, grabbing Micah by the feet and dragging him towards the outskirts of camp where he'll probably wake up later. You realize that you'd gained a bit of a crowd, blushing as you look around and see several pleased faces. You remember most of their names. The red haired Irishman, Sean steps over to you, proudly slapping you on the back with a huge grin. 

"Ha! Ya knocked him right on his ass ‘tere! So much for an itty bitty lady, eh?"

A blonde haired woman, a little taller than you comes over with a big smile. She’s under the arm of a young gang member, you think Lennys his name. 

“Well I’ll be damned! Hell yeah, It's good to see another badass woman around here, I was gettin’ tired of puttin’ all the boys in their place.” She laughs, pulling Lenny behind her and moving forward to hand you something. It's a five dollar bill, and you reach out to take it, confused. 

“We had a bet that someone was gonna knock him out soon as he got back. Entertaining us with a show like that? You deserve it. I’d do anything to see that bastard get put down by a lady.”

You smile up at her, nodding to the stranger as you place the bill in your pocket. 

“I'm Jenny by the way. Say, you're new as a shiny penny, figures these boys can't control themselves. Buncha assholes, especially Micah. He gets his fill of torture from all of us though, don't you worry miss." Jenny smiles at you, her blonde hair frames her freckled face beautifully. 

"You wanna come officially meet the girls? We can get you set up, get you a tent and some new clothes. Figure you wanna get away from Mr. Morgan over there for the day, he's a sour bastard." Jenny yells the last part in Arthur’s direction so that he can hear. 

“You’ll hear no argument from me on that account, ma'am.” Arthur quips, dropping Micah into the woods,

You eye Lenny and Jenny, a little unsure. It's hard for you to trust people, especially other outlaws but they seem kind enough. You turn your neck around to see Arthur, the only one you've really interacted with besides the two men you knocked out, and then you look back to Lenny and Jenny. They're both young and bright eyed, hopeful. It's a change you're grateful for, albeit not used to. What could be the harm?

"Alright then, the girls…" You whisper nervously. You've seen a few other women walking through the camp in the past four days, and they've eyed you with curiosity but none made a move to interact with you. You'll never show it but you're a bit nervous. You keep to yourself for the most part. You've had to because you have no one else. But that's changing. 

You follow the two past a few tents, and to a wagon with a few boxes sitting around to be used as chairs. Wolf pelts and blankets are stacked into a makeshift bed on the ground under a hanging canvas. As you take in the little details of the camp, you don't miss the way Jenny and Lenny's hands intertwine, and you smile for it. It's apparent that someone has been through a lot of effort to make the camp homey. Fluffy pelts line the seats and chairs, beautifully decorated animal skulls top some of the tents and each person’s designated area is filled with their personal preferences and belongings. Pictures and books line the little tables and crates around the place and boxes of beer and whiskey as well. It really is a home. 

There's a wagon with canvas material making a little lean to, and under it sit three girls. The first one to notice you has short blonde hair and a contagious smile. There's wonder in her eyes, and optimism. 

"Well hi! We was wonderin' when we'd get to meet you, we could barely hold back from goin' over there but we didn't wanna push ya! Say, you’ve been here just four days and you’ve already knocked down the two biggest bastards here. First Bill and now Micah? I like you already!" The blonde haired girl says before adding, "Oh, I'm Karen by the way. And this is Marybeth and Tilly.” She adds, pointing towards the other girls who smile and wave coyly. The girl furthest from you with dark colored skin and braided hair that collects into a low bun, Tilly, speaks up.

“Don’t be shy, we don’t bite. Well Karen does, but only when Ms. Grimshaw comes around. Doesn’t seem like you’ll be dealing much with her though. You gonna run with the men like Jenny here?” Tilly asks, nodding towards Jenny. You notice the contrast in their attire. Tilly, Marybeth and Karen are wearing dresses, apparently you and Jenny are the only two women who work out of camp. You haven't thought much about what your role will be in the camp though.

“Uh, yeah I guess I will be. I haven’t thought about it much though, just gettin’ here and all…And I’m only stayin’ till I'm back on my feet, so I’ll do whatever needs done till I get enough money to head somewhere else.” You mumble, looking down to your raggedy clothes. The girls grow a little quiet, sensing your dilemma before Jenny speaks up. 

“Well for now, you’re stuck with us! C’mon, we’ll get you some new clothes and have Ms. Grimshaw set you up a tent. I assume you’ll want a tent by Arthur, y’know with him bringing you in and all.”

— —

By nightfall you have three new pairs of jeans, two black and one blue, four new shirts, dark green, white, black and red, and a brand new pair of boots. They’ve accommodated you well, and you try not to think about your growing debt to the gang. 

Your tent is nicer than anything you’ve had for a long while. It's a white canvas ‘A frame’ tent with a nice sized cot, a wardrobe and a nightstand. The girls have given you some blankets and items to decorate around the place and it looks good, it’s rather cozy. Currently you sit cross legged on the cot, writing in your journal. The soft glow of candlelight alongside the campfires outside provide enough light for you to write without straining your eyes. It's a beautiful night, and owls hoot as warm wind blows across the Great Plains, it's a perfect moment. 

It’s the fourth day I've been here, but today was different. I met Jenny, and she introduced me to a few others. She’s a lot like me. Jenny doesn’t follow the rules, she makes her own way. I admire her for that. And Arthur? Well, I haven't  seen much of him. He’s been working on some big job with Dutch, and they’re keeping it real quiet. Oh, and he journals too, he picked one up in town today. Never thought a man such as himself would take to journaling. There’s a heart in there somewhere, deep down as it may be. I guess he’s like me in that way…

You startle at the sound of a knock against the beam of your tent. You jump a little, reaching down to your holster before you realize it’s only Arthur. 

“Shit, sorry. You scared the hell outta me. Ain’t used to livin’ with other people.” You laugh, folding your journal shut and tucking your pen into the book’s spine. Arthur is leaning against the tent beam with two bowls in hand, it looks like he’s washed up, probably in the lake or the river, but he's wearing a clean black stand collar shirt and a new pair of jeans. His wet hair drips a little, and the smell of soap travels to your nose.

“You’ll get used to it. Here, I brought ya some dysentery.” Arthur jokes, holding out a bowl of Pearson’s stew to you. You take it, grateful for it even though it tastes awful. 

“Thanks. Here, come sit, keep me company.” You scooch to the other side of your cot, once again sitting cross legged. 

“Well I ain’t no good company miss, I can promise you that, but sure.” 

Arthur sits down on the cot, and it dips under his weight. He watches you out of the corner of his eye for a moment, then glances at your book while you both eat. 

“So what were you writin’ in that book a’ yours?” Arthur asks, nodding towards your leather journal.  

You crack a smile, prodding at the mushy soup with your spoon. 

“You really wanna know? I'll show you mine, but you gotta show me what's in yours.” You offer with a raised eyebrow. Arthur’s cheeks glow a little red and he scratches at the back of his neck.

“Well I just got it today, and I ain’t put much in it yet.” Arthur says a little awkwardly. You take note of his embarrassment, and make a mental note to peek the next time he has it out.

“So how's it been so far? The camp I mean. Everyone treatin’ you well? I'm sure you’ll give ‘em hell if they don’t.” Arthur asks, looking to you, before bringing the metal bowl up to his lips and drinking down the broth left over in the bowl. You can’t help the smile that brightens up your features while you nod. 

“It’s been good. Jenny’s real nice, I like her a lot. All the girls are kind too. I ain’t talked to much of anyone else, well besides Micah, is he alright by the way?” You ask, hoping you didn’t kill him. You don’t really care if the bastard is dead or not, but killing him on your fourth day in the gang would not help your chances of getting along with Dutch. 

“I think he left for a while, didn’t wanna come back and be the camp idiot for gettin’ beat up by a little lady-” He starts before you interject. 

“I ain’t a little lady.” You bite. Arthur chuckles, putting his hands up in mock surrender. He disagrees, you are a little lady, but he also wants to keep his head. 

“Whatever you say, miss. I'm partial to keepin’ your fists far away from this old mug,'' Arthur's smile falters for a moment, and he looks over to you with sincerity, “but I'm glad to hear you’re settlin’ in alright.”

You nod, unsure of how to respond as you extend your arm to place the empty stew bowl on your nightstand. Arthur takes it out of your hand instead, standing up and stacking your dishes on top of his own. 

“Well I’ll leave you to it, I don’t wanna take up anymore of your time,” He tips his head to you, “Goodnight miss.”

“G’night Arthur.” You watch his back as he leaves your tent and returns your dishes back to Pearson’s table. 

You think of him as you dress down and tuck yourself into bed. It’s been a long time since you’ve enjoyed someone’s company. He intrigues you. There's so many layers to Arthur Morgan, and you find yourself wanting to peel them back and discover the man at heart. You toss and turn in your bed, angrily fluffing your pillow and tearing your blankets off of your bare legs just to pull them back on again. Despite the new bed, and the tent, you find yourself  longing for the freedom of the grass, you miss the stars. 

With a sigh, you reach down onto the grass below your bed and grab your boots. You swing your legs over the edge and pull them on, not bothering to dress yourself half decent. The shirt you’re wearing is a man’s, it's huge on you, but Jenny figured it would make a good night shirt. The white shirt swallows your figure as you step out of your tent and into the night. Everyone has gone to bed already as you tiptoe to the outskirts of camp. There's a dark forest at the edge, and maybe it's your exhaustion, but you find it enticing. You walk through the grass, wishing that you could feel it on your feet. It’s only been four days, but dammit, you miss the freedom. Solitude can be a beautiful thing, you’ve found out. And even though you’re glad to have been saved by the gang, parts of you ache to return to the wilderness. 

You slip your cowboy boots off, abandoning them on the ground between you and Arthur’s tent. They slump to the ground, spurs clicking as they hit the floor, and you step into the trees.

You pick wildflowers, humming and singing to yourself as you pluck their stems from the earth and add them to your collection. The breeze is warm and it flutters through your hair. A few times you feel eyes on you, but you dismiss them as animals lurking in the night. Some find the woods as eerie and unknown, but they’ve always been your home. You make a little bouquet of wildflowers, they're all different colors and sizes, and you hold them up to your nose and inhale that deep, specific scent. Lastly, you lay back on the grass, holding the flowers in your hands and look up to the stars. 

“A coach and six white horses,”

You twirl a poppy between your fingers, bringing it up to your nose before you continue singing,

“Blacks and bays, dapples, and grays,”

 You bring your knees up, crossing your legs as your hair splays out in the grass.

“All the pretty little horses…”

You’ve always been on your own, and this will be hard. Acclimating to a new place, with new people, and handing your control over to a new leader, all of it has you nervous, uneasy. You’re not sure how long you’ll stay. A part of you, the part that led you into the forest, begs for your freedom back. And yet a new feeling piques your interest as well, and it scares you. You look up at the constellations, tracing the big dipper with your eyes and grounding yourself with the familiarity. This new pull… it’s dangerous. You’ve distanced yourself from others for a reason, and yet here you are, breaking all of your rules.

—

Arthur’s eyebrows draw together as he leans up on his elbows in his cot. He’s been unable to sleep tonight, too distracted with the Blackwater job, and with you to get some shut eye. He’s stirred up by some quiet click noises, followed by some shallow singing. The song reaches his ears and immediately he recognizes it. It's “All the Pretty Little Horses,” a lullaby his momma used to sing to him when he was a kid. There’s some emotion there that he pushes down, sitting up to peek out of the open tent. 

And there you are. 

Arthur's smile is bittersweet as he watches you, laying in the grass in nothing but a goddamn shirt. Because of course you're the type to pick flowers, barefoot in the dead of night. Of course you’re the type to sing to the stars. He chuckles to himself, and doesn’t even think about it as he grabs his empty journal that he’d bought in the morning. He rests the leather book against his knee, leaning over to grab his pencil off his nightstand. As he does so, his eyes collide with the framed picture of Mary. Arthur sighs, gently grabbing the corner of the frame and tipping it so the picture lays face down. 

“Long time ago now…” Arthur whispers, lingering over the photo for a moment before grabbing his pencil. 

He doesn’t think, he just draws, starting with your legs that are crossed over each other, your torso and the flowers in your hand, and then your face and hair as you look up to the stars. He hums along lowly with your singing as he finishes up his sketch. There’s an incredible amount of detail to the picture, and he tries not to think about why that is as he adds a note to his sketch. 

She’s a lot like the stars in a way, I’ve realized. A force, fiery and burning as a flame, not to be reckoned with. She’s got no ties, she’s on her own. And yet she’s kind, singing and picking flowers in the middle of the damn night. She's something else, that woman. 

[asshlyyyy]

Personal Nurse

Series Warnings: Language, drug abuse, mentions of abuse, mentions of drugs. Colonel not liking the reader, probably some medical terms are incorrect, mentions of Elvis' potential death, health terms, health issues, yelling, fighting. Spelling and grammatical errors are likely. Individual chapter warnings will appear as needed.

A/n: This is basically Just The Nurse Extended

Masterlist | Next Part

Chapter 1: Become a Personal Nurse?

You flipped through the pages of the new book you'd just received. More like the first book of a new series you had just received. It was a series your mother received over the course of a few years. She said she kept them just in case. Just a little while ago... you finished your schooling in nursing. You had also been approved by your manager to be able to pick up nursing jobs by yourself. Your mother figured it was time to pass down the book series.

Cherry Ames is a series of twenty-seven mystery novels. She is a job-hopping, mystery-solving nurse in the Nancy Drew mold. She was steered into nursing by an old family friend. Did you know, there are fifty Nancy Drew books out currently?! Of course, you knew that it was a series you wanted to pick up for the longest time. In fact, the moment you could start purchasing things with your own money... you started to pick them up. What could you say... you loved mysteries.

You heard the phone start to go off. You peered over at the clock and read the time. It was just bout six in the evening. Who was calling at this time? Soon the ringing ended and the sound of your father's voice filled the apartment.

"Y/n dear, can you help set the table real quick?" Your mother asked as she continued to cook the dinner. You smiled and nodded. You placed the bookmark in place against the rough pages and closed the book. You placed the book off to the side for now and went ahead with setting the table.

Now, what the heck was a near thirty-year-old woman doing still living with her parents? Well, you went to nursing school, which slapped away four years of your life. Before that, you were working up the money to pay for said nursing school. Plus, your parents needed a babysitter from time to time, and well- you didn't disagree with the extra chance to gain money.

"Y/n! Phone for you!" Your father called from the main entryway. You placed down the last plate and made your way over to the phone. Who was asking for you? Last time you checked... you didn't have many friends since you've been... well busy trying to become a nurse.

You picked up the light blue phone and pressed it against your ear, "Y/n speaking."

"Y/n, am I great to hear your voice." Daniel's, your manager's, voice erupted from the other end.

"Daniel, hey, is everything okay?" You asked as you looked over at the pictures that were posted on the wall.

"Of course, but I got a great job for you. Just came in actually, and I know that you are the person for the job. You're one of the best trainees that I've ever had... I just know you will be perfect for this job." He spoke. A job…? Already? You just graduated a couple of weeks ago and yet… you were getting a job?

"Really? A job for me? Already?" You asked astonished. Usually, it took some people months to get a job. They end up in the clinical waiting for the day they get a big shot job.

"Of course, I already recommended you to the client... and he loves the sound of you." He told you. You smiled softly and looked over at your parents who had their eyes on you.

"What is it?" You finally asked.

"Now, before I go ahead and tell you... I was told that you can't tell anyone about this. Not even your closest friends or family." Daniel explained. Your face formed into a puzzle expression. Why couldn't you tell anyone about this job? What was so secretive about it... that it had to be kept secret?

"Um, okay?" You replied unsure, but you didn’t see why you would tell people. In the end, you would just share that you got a job.

"I'm sure you are aware of Elvis Presley?" Daniel asked, well more like assumed. Everyone on the face of earth knew who Elvis was. Whether you disliked him or not… you knew who he was.

"Yes, my sister is a die-hard fan." You chuckled lightly and wrapped the phone coil around your finger.

"Well, his father Vernon... is concerned about his health and wanted to hire a personal nurse to help care for bring him back to health." He explained the situation. It didn’t surprise you, a lot of singers went down the route of drugs. No matter how much they swore they wouldn’t.

"Wait- so are you saying... that I will be-"

"Yes, you will be Elvis Presley's nurse," Daniel confirmed to you. Now, you didn’t care much for Elvis. You liked his songs, but you weren’t some crazy fan… like your sister.

"My sister is going to flip-" You started to speak, but was soon cut off.

"Remember, you can't tell anyone. Vernon doesn't want word to get out that... well Elvis is in a bad state." He explained to you once more.

"Right right... I forgot about that." Part of you did in fact forget. You just thought it would be fun for your sister to know about such things.

"So, there are a few things I have to go over with you." He spoke.

"Like what?" You raised your eyebrow. You moved over to the chair and took a squat.

"You're going to be staying over at their house. Vernon is going to get rid of his staff members, and you're going to be tending to him. Making him healthy meals and whatnot." He explained.

"I didn't sign up to be a servant." You pointed out to him. In nowhere did it say becoming a nurse meant becoming a servant.

"You aren't going to be a servant, Y/n. You're going to bring him back to better health. So, that includes making healthy meals." He brought up. Healthy meals were one thing, but if you were going to have to clean up after this guy… you were going to throw a fit.

"Okay..."

"Do you understand?" He asked.

"I mean I understand. I just don't understand why I have to... ya know... move in with him?" You asked as you pinched the bridge of your nose. Just trying to paste together everything. Of course, this was a great job opportunity, but you would have to move... into some strangers... beautiful... big house. Positives and negatives people. Positives and negatives.

"It's part of the job. He's paying a lot of money for this, Ms. Y/l/n. The firm is going to gain a lot of money and attraction, you're going to be making a lot of money. You'll be able to finally move out of your family's place." He brought up. It did sound nice… to finally be out of your parent’s place…

You let out a sigh and nodded, "right... okay... yeah..."

"Is that going to be a problem? I suggested you because you're one of the best. I thought you would be all for this?" Daniel asked in a confused tone.

"No no! I am... It's just... I don't know... I'm going to have to basically shove everything to the side. Not have contact with my family, but... I'll do it." You said in defeat. It wasn’t like you were going to have to cut ties with your family… it just meant things were going to get complicated.

"His family and friends are just worried. Just know... there is a high chance he is going to decline help from you... and most likely will get bad at you, but Y/n. I know you can save him. I know you can." You smiled softly at his compliment.

"Thanks, Daniel."

"No thank you! I'll call Vernon back and they'll have someone pick you up tomorrow around nine in the morning. I'll give you a call tomorrow once you’re all settled in.” He said.

"Okay, thanks again, Daniel." You thanked him again. I mean, you could’ve been stuck in a clinic,  but instead… you’re going to be stuck at Graceland.

"Of course. I'll hear from you tomorrow."

"Yup, sure will. Bye." You waited for his response and hung the phone back on the receiver. You let out a sigh and rubbed your eyes. Did that really just happen? It felt all like a lie… but… it wasn’t. This was really happening.

You stood up and turned towards the kitchen and found your whole family staring at you. You raised your eyebrow in confusion. “What…?” You asked.

“Well? What’s the job?” Your sister spoke up. She held an excited smile on her face.

“I’m not supposed to say,” you said as you brought your hand up to your lips. You mimicked a zipping motion and threw away the imaginary key.

“But we’re your family,” your younger brother whined. Your brother barely understood anything, why did he care what the job was? It was cute, yes, but he is barely six. You chuckled lightly and ruffled up his hair. In return, he swatted your hands away in annoyance.

“All right fine… but you guys can’t tell anyone. And I mean anyone.” You looked at the four of them.

“You should be most worried about your sister saying something.” Your father pointed out. He was right. Your younger sister had a big mouth. She loved the gossip and loved to share it with everyone. When she heard something, she shared it. She was the type of person who would hear a rumor, and tell everyone.

“What?!” Mary, your sister, gasped lightly. “How dare you accuse me of such things.” She placed her hand over her heart.

“I’m supposed to be nursing Elvis Presley. Monitor him… Get him back onto his feet.” You told them. You know Daniel told you not to tell, but they were your family. Plus, who would believe your sister when they told them you were working with Elvis? Absolutely no one.

Your sister let out a gasp, “no way!!” She started to squeal. “Elvis Presley! THE Elvis Presley!”

“Mary, calm down. He’s just a boy.” Your father tried to claim her down. Elvis was… not a boy. He was a full-grown man.

“He’s not just some boy, dad. He is Elvis Presley!” She ran passed you and towards her room. She was most likely going to get some merchandise of his. “This is him!” She ran back out after a couple of seconds. She now held in her hands of a poster of him. “Famous. Celebrity. Hot. Rich. Single. And he sings!”

“Mary, calm down.” Your father told her once more.

“Sorry…” She frowned gently and held the poster close to her chest.

“Now don’t go ‘round telling your friends. You can’t even tell them I’m working for someone famous. In fact, don’t even mention that I have a job.” You explained to Mary.

“This isn’t fair,” she whined.

“Life isn’t always fair, Mary.” Your mother spoke up before she made her way back into the kitchen.

“Listen… if you keep the secret, and if you’re lucky… I might be able to get him to sign something for you.” You smiled at her gently.

“Would ya?” She asked with a hopeful smile.

“Maybe,” you chuckled lightly and walked to the kitchen.

The five of you ate dinner and discussed your new job. Everyone was excited and happy for you. Your sister was extremely jealous. If only she could be in your shoes and be working near Elvis. That was her ultimate dream. To be able to work with Elvis. Would it ever happen? Maybe one day it will, but as long as she’s in high school… she’s stuck far away from him.

After dinner finished up you helped your mother with cleaning up. It was the least you could do for staying here and living with them still. Most people your age were already married and had kids. You were as single as a loose penny. You were also far from having any type of kids at this rate.

You made your way into your room and figured it was time to start packing. It was better than having to wake up early the next morning and do it all right then and there. Your medical bag was pretty much all ready. Yet, you knew it would still make sure everything was in there.

You went to your closet and found your luggage. You pulled the light blue piece out and placed it on your bed. You opened it up and started to pack everything up. You’ve been training to be a full-time nurse for quite some time now. You’ve worked under Daniel’s view for about a year. Just recently were you able to pass the final exam. It was a lot of work, but you were excited for the next adventure.

You stuffed as much as you can into your luggage, grabbed your old book bag, and started to stuff that up as well. There was no way you were going to leave your parent’s place and not take a bunch of books. Not to mention you had to finish ready the new series your mother just got you. There were also some medical journals that you had to reads. Just because you graduated, didn’t mean there wasn’t anything else you couldn’t learn.

You placed the luggage off to the side and grabbed your medical bag and the lockbox that stood underneath it. For the most part, you kept your medical bag full. On the other hand, you had to keep all types of medication locked away. This is mostly due to you having younger siblings. You didn’t want one of them to end up in your bag and… well…

You got everything packed up rather quickly, and you were stuck checking them multiple times. There was no way you wanted to forget something. You didn’t even know if it was possible for you to leave once you were there. There was also no way your parents could drop it off either.

So, as you laid in bed that night… You realized just how scared you were. There was something about meeting someone famous. It was like you had to impress them. You couldn’t mess up anything. Even your words. One small slip-up and they may think differently of you. Yet, there was something else. It was Elvis. He changed the world of music, and you were about to one right by his side.

Sure, you aren’t the biggest fan, but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t be starstruck. The man was beautiful, you give him that. But you also knew he had anger issues. Then again, everyone had some kind of anger issue. Your first job… went his job could either make you… or break you… That’s a lot of pressure to be holding.

Mutual Taglist: @babyhoneypresley, @emmymaehereeeeee, @venus-haze, @austinstyles

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1204: Exciting News!~ (Persona 5 x Sonic)

Futuba: Great news, everyone!~

Futuba: Gotta enough money to buy a brand new video game today!~ Which will go lovely for our upcoming sleepover at café later on tonite if any if u lovely people are interested~

Mona: Sure

Lavenza: We'd love that very much~

Omega: Invite accepted

Tae: That depends.

Tae: Will my dear Sae be there too?

Futuba: U know it!~ I already asked her join

Futuba: And u know as well as i do that she couldn't say no to this face~

Futuba: Puppy Dog Oracle.jpg

Tae: Lol nice~

Yusuke: What game have you purchased this time, Futaba?

Futaba: The sequel of this masterpiece of a gem!

Futaba: Hades 2.jpg

Futaba: Really good thing I got it in time too. It was last one they have in the shelves lol

Tae: Wait time out.

Tae: You kids used to play Hades at one point?

Mona: Yeah a long time ago actually

Mona: It was so much fun~

Futaba: So much fun~

Lavenza: And the artstyle and the soundtrack the previous game has offered are both equally as breathtaking~

Yusuke: Yes, indeed.

Yusuke: That game, to tis day, has inspired me into bettering my skills in drawing and painting

Yusuke: It even got me to creating a portrait of Lady Aphrodite of my interpretation.

Yusuke: Goddess of Love & Beauty.jpg

Tae: Impressive.

Lavenza: Very lovely indeed~

Omega: Your artwork continues to not disappoint the eyes of many beholders

Yusuke: Thank you.

Yusuke: It's still a Work in Progress, but I refuse to rest until I could completely capture the beauty and elegance the goddess herself, has effortlessly grace upon the screen.

Futaba: Wow, Inari!~ I didn't know u find the Goddess of Love affective~ 😏

Yusuke: I do to some extent.

Yusuke: But she could never reach the status of true beauty and magnificence as you do in my very heart, Futaba Sakura.

Futaba: iyggbtt ft jgchj ft ykjghikndfonnf

Yusuke: Futaba!?

Tae: I wouldn't worry about her too much, kid.

Tae: Texts like that mostly indicates your partner blushing up a storm right now. Common occurrence really.

Mona: You made Sae blush during a text before, haven't you?

Tae: Guilty as charged~ 😉

Omega: Common occurrence is an incredible understatement considering the fiftieth times Rouge would make Knuckles blush in their texting conversation

Lavenza: I've made Mona-Chan blush twentieth times on our texts!~

Mona: Sufeeszxgy Lavenza! They don't need to know that here!

Lavenza: Oops!~

Lavenza: Sorry my love!~

Futqba: INARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Futaba: At least warn a girl before u start making her cheeks flare up like that!

Futuba: I nearly dropped my phone on the floor cuz of u!!

Yusuke: Apologies, Futaba.

Yusuke: I never realized my text would give you that much of a reaction. Hope you are well.

Futaba: Yeah, I'm fine don't worry about it.

Futaba: I feel a lot better now knowing our favorite lover kitty boi here is wayyy more of a blushing mess than I am~ 😏

Mona: Oh shut up!

Mona: At least I don't carelessly drop my phone on the ground after receiving a compliment!

Futaba: Better than getting flustered over twenty times in the row!

Mona: IT HAPPENED SEPARATELY!

Futaba: Press D for Doubt!~

Omega: D

Mona: OMEGA DON'T HUMOR HER!!

Omega: How else do you expect me make Futaba feel better more than she currently is?

Futaba: AWWWW!~ Love u Big Guy!!~ 😊 😊

Omega: 👍 👍

Mona: Oh barf.

Lavenza: Morgana, be nice

Lavenza: So Futaba-Chan, how exactly were you able to afford this game?

Tae: Yeah, I heard they're crazy expensive

Futaba: Oh I just saved a few money I have left on pocket

Futaba: Add thay with the money I've earned winning another bet Sojiro and I made a while back ehehehehe!~ 😈

Mona: Oh god. What did you two bet on this time?

Futaba: Well, u see, my kitty bro, to answer that question, allow me to present u all the second of the spendid news we have today

Futaba: Guess who about to get hitch in the near future?

Futaba: Here's a hint: it's the one couple who's been acting like a married one since the day they became a thing!~

Mona: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Tae: Is it who I think it is?

Lavenza: Ren-Ren and Makoto are going to get married!?~

Futaba: Ren-Ren/Makoto AND Ann/Shiho are both getting hitched!~

Futaba: And the best part about all of this is.....Makot.and Shiho are the ones gonna do the propose!~

Tae: Damn really? And here I thought Guinea Pig would be the one to do it lol

Mona: Wait, is that what you guys been betting on?

Mona: See who gets to propose first?

Futaba: Yeeeup!~

Futaba: Victory couldn't be any sweeter

Omega: Congratulations and wedding gifts will be in order when the time is set to motion

Futaba: Ooh Omega! Wanna share a gift with me to give?

Futaba: I wanna consider this thx for being the best robot bro ever!~ ☺

Omega: I would be honored ☺

Lavenza: Awwwwww~

Tae: Adorable

Mona: Still barf

Lavenza: Mona!

Yusuke: Just to be certain. Makoto and Shiho-san are the ones that are going to propose, yes?

Futaba: That's what i said!~ Possibly later this year actually. Why?

Yusuke: Oh I was planning on informing the others on this glorious news.

Futaba: Sweet!

Futaba: Just don't mention any of this Ren and Ann. It's a secret for them to find out on their own

Yusuke: Roger.

.......................................................................................

Meanwhile at Okmura Residence.........

Ryuji: (Immediately Gets Up From his Seat Along With his Girlfriend, Haru) HOLY SHIT!

Haru: (Clasps her Hands Together With Happiness and Excitement in her Eyes) They're getting married!?~

Ryuji: It's finally happening!~

Haru: I'm so happy for all of them!~

The couple hugs each other before hopping around and cheering in rejoice over the exciting news.

Haru: This is truly wonderful!~

Ryuji: I know, right!? About damn time those lovebirds get hitched!

Haru: There's so much to plan and prepare for- ('GASPS') (Grab Hold of her Boyfriend's Shoulders) RYUJI! We need to find ourselves the perfect wedding gifts for both parties ASAP-

Ryuji: (Gently Place his Hand Onto Haru's Arm, Helping her Calm Down a Bit) Woah, woah. Easy there, hun, relax. They said they'll propose later this year, right? We have all the time in the world to get ready by then.

Haru: ( Sigh in a Bit of Relief') If you're certain. I just hope the presents we pick out for them will be at least presentable. (Grabs her Chin While Thinking) I wonder if Yusuke is doing an open art commission at this time......

Ryuji: It's possible. If not, I could always try convincing him to- (Etes Suddenly Begins to Widened Before Facepalming Himself and Groaning) Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit.........

Haru: (Starts Getting Worried) What's wrong?

Ryuji: I just remembered the bet he abd I made a while back on which is gonna propose. And guess who now owes the guy fifty bucks?

Haru: How much do you have now? I could help you pay it off.

Ryuji: (Takes His Wallet Out of his Pants Pocket and Opens it Before Looking For Something Inside) I got like....twenty bucks left I think? (Turns to Haru) But you really don't have to go out of your way to help me.

Haru: (Gives Ryuji a Reassuring Smile) True, but I don't mind at all. (Forms a Playful Smirk on her Face) If you so something for me in return~

Ryuji: Up! (Smirks Back) There's that catch I've been looking for. What you want in return?

Haru: Ohh nothing grand~ (Hugs Ryuji Again) I just want to spend the rest of the evening here with the love of my life~ Talk over dinner, movie, under the stars..... (Starts Smirking Seductively) Maybe doing something more sensual afterwards if you behave well enough~

Ryuji: ('Heh') Sounds like hell of a good compromise to me. You got yourself deal, gorgeous~

Haru: Good~ (Gives Ryuji a Kiss on the Lips) Pleasure doing business with you my dear~

Ryuji: Ditto~

The couple resume back to their making out session, having it yurn more passionate real fast.

@princekirijo

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

@decibelcoatl

[nancypullen]

Good Day

Yesterday was fun...actually FUN! The mister was making some noise about starting a project that's been on the table for a while. You see, this house was born without windowsills. It's tragic. I've never lived in a home without windowsills. Where the heck are you supposed to put little herb pots or cute holiday knickknacks? Where are cats supposed to sit while they watch birds?

I'm sure the original builders saved money, but it's cramping my style. Mickey has assured me that it's easy enough to cut, paint, and install sills. SO that's what he plans to do. Personally, I think we should start in a room no one sees, like his office. He plans to start in the living room and kitchen...

If the end result is windowsills that I can enjoy, I will be forever grateful.

I think you can buy actual windowsills and just slide/glue them in place, but of course our windows are not standard sized - that would be too easy. To make a long story even longer - this post has nothing to do with our windows. Mickey told me that he was going to drive into Dover (about 40 minutes) to shop at the Lowe's there. He encouraged me to go with him and I made every excuse in the world not to go - I had chores to do at home, I needed to do a big grocery shop, I'd just spend money there that I don't need to spend, etc. Then he said the five words that had me in my shoes and out the door in a flash, "Dover has a Home Goods." He suggested dropping me at Home Goods while he did his lumber shopping. Girls, that was the golden ticket. I've been in many, many Home Goods stores. MANY. If I see one, I usually stop. I have left money in Home Goods in various states and cities without a regret. So when I say that the Home Goods in Dover, Delaware is the best I've ever seen, believe me. If there is a heaven, I'm pretty sure I just got a glimpse of what it's like. I could have spent an entire day and a thousand dollars. Because I am frugal I kept it to $35, but I'm very happy with my haul. I tried to be mindful and not get swept away in the massive and beautiful Halloween section but I did end up with one gorgeous crow and a single, glittery pumpkin in my cart. I mean...who could resist?

That wooden cake pedestal was purchased as well. It will be part of a fall centerpiece for the table - isn't it lovely?

I grabbed a pack of napkins from their endless selection and have already used them to transform a dollar store pumpkin.

Now that she's dry I'll add some burlap ribbon and lace.

September is off to a good start. I mentioned a crow. I can't resist a good crow. The one at Home Goods had been looking for me. He's perfect for a project. You see, a few weeks ago I picked up four chunky candlesticks at an auction for just $2. I knew that I'd want to turn them into something else, so this is what I'm starting with..

I'm going to chalk paint them ivory and distress them so a bit of that dark wood shows through. That dollar store stack of pumpkins will be painted in more muted colors, and maybe I'll add a wide burlap ribbon somewhere. How fun is that?? One simple trip to Home Goods has resulted in several craft projects to keep me happy. That's a win. I did buy a few practical things as well, like these adorable reusable straws. Pink with gold crowns!

I use straws every morning when I drink my protein shake. The grandgirl uses straws when she's here as well. I usually buy boxes of pretty floral straws, but these are just as cute and can be popped into the dishwasher. I love having a list of artsy things on my to-do list, and autumn is my favorite time for that, probably because the stuff is just so much fun to make. My last clay ghost is ready for paint and I'll start him today. I'm giddy over that. He's the one who will be a patchwork quilt. I thought I was being so original, and had even dreamed up a book about him. When I did a quick Google search to make sure nothing similar existed, I realized I'm a couple years too late - but doesn't this story sound delightful? Much better than mine.

"His parents are both sheets...his grandmother was a lace curtain..." I love that so much. All the more reason to enjoy painting my little ghost. Anyway, after my $35 Home Goods spree (I regret not buying the Halloween bedsheets) Mickey suggested we grab lunch. If there's one thing I enjoy almost as much as Home Goods, it's going out for lunch. Nothing fancy, we just popped into Qdoba where you can build a semi-healthy, spicy bowl. And, as if the day wasn't splendid enough, when we finally pointed the car toward home we went through a Starbucks drive-thru for a yummy drink. You guys, I felt like I'd been let out of prison after being wrongfully convicted. Home Goods, lunch, and Starbucks - what a fun day! At the moment I have laundry chugging and another load to go in after that one. I should probably dust, and clean windows...but the odds are very good that I will be painting and crafting today instead. It's a holiday, I'm allowed. Alright, time to start painting candlesticks, so this is where I'll sign off. Sending out loads of love, encouragement, and the hope that this new month brings happiness to our doorsteps. While we're waiting, we might as well create a little of our own.

Stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for hiding the existence of my brother's kid and the location of my friend's sister?

I (late 20s, M) am the second son of a noble family. I don't really care about that stuff much, but my brother Albert (early 30s, M), who holds the title, cares a LOT. This story is also about our family friends Anna (early 20s, F) and Jake (late 20s, M). They're commoners, but we all played together growing up.

One day about 2 years ago, I ran into Anna leaving my family manor... and crying. I comforted her, and she told me the whole story: she and my brother Albert had shared a night together, she'd just found out she was pregnant, and she was coming to tell him today – only before she could even get started, he launched into a speech about how they could never be together because of his title, and they needed to pretend the night had never happened. She didn't end up telling him.

A few days later, Anna disappeared – packed her bags, deleted her social media, and dropped off the face of the planet. Her brother Jake was freaking out because she wouldn't return his calls and he didn't know where she was. He's never fully recovered from losing her, and sometimes he can... spiral a little.

So here's where I may be TA. I know where she is.

She contacted me after she left and told me she was keeping the baby, but she didn't want ANYONE to know where she'd gone. She made me swear not to tell Albert and Jake specifically. Part of me feels like I should tell my brother that he's a father, or say something to my friend who's been freaking out over his missing sister for two years now – but no matter how it eats me up inside, I also feel like it's Anna's decision, and not my secret to tell.

There's also a third, separate reason I may be TA. No one knows this, but my brother and I are broke. We still have the big fancy house and the lands, but we can't afford to staff it and we have zero spending money. All the money we make off the land goes right back into maintaining it, and we can barely manage to do that. It's... bad.

... And it's especially bad because I've been secretly funneling money out of our account each month and sending it to Anna to help take care of my brother's kid.

I want to be clear: Anna never asked me to send her money. I talked her into letting me do it. But the kid is my nephew. I felt like I had to do SOMETHING. Now, she can afford to rent a small apartment and she doesn't have to work, and the baby's doing great!

And also I think my brother's head might explode if we default on another payment. He's starting to notice the missing money, and there's only so many stupid purchases I can make up in the middle of a family financial crisis before he decides to disown me or something.

... so, am I the asshole?

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I've had a terrible day full of significantly elevated anxiety for no discernible reason (aside from, it's too fucking hot and this always happens when it's too fucking hot, also a number of other things but the level of anxiety is disproportionate to any of those real situations, probably because it's too fucking hot). I looked around my room to see some things I like to cheer myself up. I have don't quite a good job of making my bedroom into an over-decorated museum of things I like, which is convenient on a day when I want to just look around and quickly see something nice. Anyway, here are some pictures of my comedy-related collections.

On the wall - the old Josie Long poster that I got her to sign when I saw her in Montreal, and then I got Grace Petrie to sign it when I saw her live a couple of months later, even though I was so anxious about approaching either of them at all, much less giving Josie Long the weird request to have her sign a poster from ten years ago, or giving Grace Petrie the much weirder request to have sign Josie Long's poster from ten years ago, but I explained to her how it's because I already have Josie's signature and I'd love the idea of both their autographs on one thing, and I did also buy Grace Petrie's CD and have her sign that too, even though I already owned that album off Bandcamp, I just felt obligated to buy it rather than only say "Hi could you sign something that isn't even yours?", and to pay her money for the CD as a bribe to briefly talk to me. Anyway, as nerve-wracking as it was to get, I love that I get to look at it every day now. I have it on my wall next to the lovely quote from The Bugle episode 66 that @nyomkitten made in fancy fonts, and that I jokingly said I want on my wall, and then realized I actually do so I went and had it printed on cardstock.

Books on my shelf. Most of my Britcom books are in ebook or audiobook form, but some are on a shelf.

CDs and DVDs. The top one is Grace Petrie's Connectivity, which I bought to bribe her to talk to me long enough so I could get her to sign Josie Long's poster. There's also Kitson's Shenaniganagain CD, and the Lucksmiths CD that I bought on eBay because Kitson wrote the liner notes on it. Then we have John Oliver's stand-up special, Flight of the Conchords, Thick of It and In the Loop DVDs that I picked up at a Celtic music festival once, couple of Monty Python movies, a hard move away from comedy in the BBC House of Cards, some DVDs purchased back when Joss Whedon was still cool, and I did used to be a big hockey fan and follow the Edmonton Oilers really closely. Haven't cared in years; they made the Stanley Cup finals this year and I didn't give a fuck. But I used to.

Stickers on the side of my book shelf. The Taskmaster seal and Nish Kumar with a coconut on his head, both gifts from my then-girlfriend, attached to a Christmas card she gave me a couple of years ago. Now a somewhat painfully tainted memory, but I still like the stickers. A couple of other stickers that I took off the packaging from Daniel Kitson's CD, the official seal of Higgldy Piggldy Enterprises, which is how he incorporated himself. And a couple of playing cards that Ed Gamble threw into the crowd last year during the Max & Ivan pretend wrestling event, as his thing was "Ed The Gambler Gamble" so he had a bunch of cards. Cards that audience members could just pick up if they wanted to, and one of the people who did that happens to be a friend of mine who sent a few of them to me, which is fucking cool.

And finally, this weekend I moved some stuff around from my old hard drives to have more things in one place, on the big comedy folder that's on my 5TB hard drive. I've actually bought two 5TB hard drives this year, which might not be the best use of my limited funds, but I don't want to risk losing all that. So I have the one hard drive that lives in a pocket on the back of my laptop and is always connected to it as a working drive with this massive comedy folder on it, and another with a second copy of that folder. Part of why I bought the second one was I think I'm going to take the first one with me when I got to the UK so I can put stuff on it there, but if I don't have a backup at home, I'll be too worried about losing it.

(Note: I do not endorse the views or work of every comedian who has a folder on my hard drive. Most of it is there because I like them, but please do not assume I am a fan of all things expressed by, to pick 2 examples just in the As, Alfie Brown or post-2019 Alun Cochrane. Technically there are three people in the As whose views I do not share, because Alan Partridge has some ideas about immigration policy that just wouldn't be feasible. Oh and I don't like how Adam Hills got an MBE a couple of years ago and suddenly started expressing monarchist sentiments a lot. Only one letter in and I'm already disagreeing with plenty. On the other hand, I'm almost sure that Alice Fraser has never said anything wrong in her entire life.)

Of course, the hard drive lives on the back of my laptop next to my other Nish Kumar sticker, which I got because of the laptop that Nish had in season 4 of The Mash Report, which got filmed in his home due to lockdown:

I've definitely posted all of this before, but collecting those things again put me in a slightly better mood, which was the goal. Hope everyone's having a nice week and they solve climate change soon.

[toonpunk-game]

Road to 2nd Edition

Hey everybody. It’s been a long time since I’ve posted something here—because, simply put, there was no more that needed saying. Toonpunk went out the door, it was a very modest success, I posted some lore updates, and then I turned my attention towards other things. I’ve kept myself very busy the last few years in many ways, including a slew of game design projects—some of which already saw publication, and some of which are so ludicrously expensive that a modest success just isn’t gonna pay for em. I didn’t want to go back to kickstarter, so making money for those is most of what I’ve been doing.

Since the debut of the original toonpunk I made a few little content modules for my own use, in line with my original vision for a product line. And, starting about a year ago, I had a pretty shocking realization: as much as I loved it when it came out, the me of 2022, doesn’t like the game I made in 2017. There were a lot of little things that I felt were lacking, or insubstantial, or not very funny, or maybe a little clumsy mechanically. Plus, its politics stank with the naivite of a 21-year-old liberal who hadn’t yet discovered the golden path to Marxism. So, I started work on a simple project: integrate a lot of the modules I’d made for my own amusement, get some more art, rewrite the flavor text, and release the package as Toonpunk 2nd Edition. 2npunk, if you will.

I’ll be keeping a dev diary here to let you all know how it’s coming along. To fill you in on the new stuff. I’ll be posting the whole finished product here one day, and here’s the first piece of news: it’s going to be absolutely free at point of purchase, with a pay-what-you-want option if you just really feel like you gotta gimme some money. Maybe pessimistically—I say realistically—I’ve just given up on the idea that this game is ever gonna make a dime. But I think it can keep a lot of people entertained, so that’s what I’m gonna angle towards. More on that after the break.

So on that note I’d like to talk about one of the smaller changes I made, that’s also turned out to be one of the more expensive and creatively satisfying ones. In the original Toonpunk book, there’s a list of example player characters near the back. These include statlines and gear recommendations for people who want to play specific kinds of characters. It was—to put it generously—done with the resources I had at the time, and it shows.

Look at that. Very humdrum. There’s a fair bit of information there but it all kinds of blends together and it doesn’t really grab the imagination. One of the first things I learned, selling this book store-to-store across America, is that—simply put—people like pictures. For whatever reason I didn’t realize how important illustrations are to making an idea seem tangible in the reader’s imagination. So I knew, going into this,  I wanted to splurge a little bit and make the player character templates really sparkle. I wanted each one to have more space, more items, and most importantly more style. So, without further ado, here are 5 of the 9 that are included in the full game.

Each one is dripping with style and character. With almost all of these — notable exceptions being the field boss and the big guy  — I basically just handed the archetype description and a few notes (needs to be carrying this kind of weapon, needs to have this kind of build) to the artist and told them go apeshit. That’s why there’s all these diverse and exciting styles on display here. The only overriding artistic decision I came down really hard about is that I wanted them all to be in monochrome. I like grayscale art, a whole helluva lot; I think it lets a line artist’s work really shine. Plus, you can color it in however you want.

I’ll be back later to talk about some of the changes to character progression —which now involves managing your character’s growing reputation, to get a bunch of special perks. If you like what you’ve seen so far...stay tooned!

[museum-spaces]

why I have checkmarks and blazed that post; a response to an not-published Anon ask.

Hello Nerds new and old, I love you all equally. There's well over a thousand of you now and I find that thrilling and baffling at the same time.

A few days back I purchased a set of Important Internet Checkmarks for this blog and also Blazed the post I made about doing that. By and large, its been positive. We have new nerds to talk with and I had a bit of fun. But one person who shall remain Nameless - mostly because we are Nerds, not an angry mob but also because they asked on Anon - wanted to know why I chose to through about 20CAD at tumblr instead of sending that money to a friend or someone in need. And I wanted to address that.

20 Canadian is not going to get you very far. I spent more than half of that today on milk, mac and cheese in a box, and some chips/crisps. I spent more than that if you also count my prescription refill.

I want to support Tumblr. I like it here. This blog is one of 3 I have, my main, this one, and a third I don't use much these days. This is the only only only social media site I've ever had an account on where navigating between the different accounts is easy. It is the best social media for my brain. It is the best social media for my abilities. can you imagine how many tweets this post would take?

Because I want to support Tumblr but have had a very good ad-block system in place since I was in high school - graduated more than 10 years ago - I have only ever seen tumblr's wacky ads as screenshots. So to support it, I got the checks. And I blazed 1 post. I might do more someday, but that's all for now.

I regularly help a number of my friends who are on fixed incomes/no incomes/have sudden new expenses as much as I can. And I always give them more than 20CAD. I am hesitant to say this here, but I think I can safely say that the two I helped the most most recently don't follow this blog, a few months back I literally split my pay for 1/2 month into 2 big chunks and 2 smaller chunks and gave the whole thing away. this is actually an issue I have that I am trying to work through because I also need to have enough money to survive and thrive.

I don't post about doing things like that because a] sideblog for museum accessibility, and b] I don't do it for the internet clout.

So, dear Anon, not only was the 20CAD barely enough to notice because it doesn't actually have much buying power, but also I give more than that regularly to people who need it. [mic drop]

[mathsbian]

Are you buying gifts for a disabled friend? Not sure what might be a good gift? Here’s some thoughts to help you figure it out:

Do they have an income/are they financially stable? If not, ask them if there is a purchase they have been putting off due to expense, and would make their life easier to have. I asked my mom for an electric razor and a water flosser for Christmas a few years ago because I struggle to keep up with shaving my legs (something I need to do for sensory reasons) and with the motivation to floss. Both of these items made my personal hygiene routines much easier to do so I could do them more often. My partner’s mother bought us a robot vacuum at a big discount on Black Friday that same year, and it’s made keeping the house clean a lot easier for me. This would also be a good way to find out about any assistive devices they’re interested in getting, but worried about wasting their money on it if it turns out not as useful as they thought!

Are they able to cook or do they have a reliable way to get food (either a meal delivery service or living with someone who cooks for them)? If not, consider gift cards for restaurants and fast food places, or gift cards for food delivery services. I rely on my partner for meals, but they also have chronic pain (they just aren’t as bad off as I am currently and are still able to work and do a lot compared to me) and sometimes they don’t have the energy to cook either. On those days, it’s really convenient to have some funds for food so we can go to a drive-thru or order a pizza or Chinese take-out or something. But with how tight our finances are, sometimes we can’t afford to do that and my partner had to figure out something else to do for dinner (it usually ends up being cereal on those nights). My parents also sometimes give me gift cards to restaurants I would otherwise not be able to afford to eat at, allowing me to treat myself and my partner to nice meal around my birthday or their birthday or the holidays that my partner doesn’t have to cook.

As an alternative to giving gift cards for food, you can also give meals you’ve made that they can reheat, as long as you check about any dietary concerns before making them a dish.

Are they able to do housework? If not, offer to come help them get their house clean, or offer to pay for a one-time cleaning service to stop by. Especially if they’ve been struggling to get their house clean for a while, they might feel overwhelmed by the amount of work that needs done. A helping hand or a service coming in and cleaning up the whole house on their behalf could be a huge help, both for their physical health and peace of mind.

Are they able to drive themself to places they need to go? If not, offer to be a ride to their next doctor’s appointment, or give them a gift card for a rideshare service like Uber or Lyft. Especially in the US, where public transit is a nightmare.

And back to their financial situation: when was the last time they bought themselves something fun? I can’t justify spending money on new games or new books or anything like that. My budget is way too tight. So it’s always nice when someone gets me a Steam giftcard or buys me a game or book or something that I’ve been wanting and just. Could not justify buying no matter how inexpensive it was. For example, I can’t play games at my computer very often anymore. I can’t sit at a desk that long. I originally bought Stardew Valley on Steam back when I had a laptop and could play it while laying in bed or chilling on the couch. But I don’t have a laptop anymore and when I have the ability to sit at my desk I’m usually wanting to play something a bit more intensive than Stardew Valley. Ever since it was released on the Switch I’ve been wanting it for my Switch. It was only $15 but I just could not justify spending that when I’m always needing money for food or groceries or bills. My roommate bought it for me as an early birthday gift back in January, so now I can play Stardew Valley wherever I want again. I’m not going to be stuck with shitty phone games anymore. It was so nice of him to do!

Other ideas:

If they don’t have much of a support system, and you’re close with them, ask if they need support self-advocating with any of their doctors and offer to attend their next appointment with them. Don’t be offended if they turn you down, obviously doctor’s appointments are stressful and can be invasive and they might not want you aware of all the various issues they’re dealing with medically. But they might really appreciate someone going with them and backing them up if they’re struggling to get their doctor(s) to listen to them.

If they spend a lot of time at home alone, offer to set up a regular visit time! It doesn’t have to be every week or anything that’s too often for you to handle, but any amount of time spent with friends is much better than spending that time feeling lonely some more. In this case, try to also make an effort to include them in plans with other friends. Even if they end up not being able to leave the house that day, it’s nice to feel like your friends want to spend time with you and miss you when you’re gone.

Ask if they need assistance applying for aid of any kind. The SSDI application takes a lot of effort to complete, and if they struggle to concentrate or have hand pain it can be a real challenge getting all of the forms filled out. Maybe they need help finding a lawyer to represent them while they apply. Maybe they need help setting up an ABLE account or getting on Food Stamps or Medicare/Medicaid. Again, they might refuse the offer as a lot of this information can be very private, but I know I definitely appreciate any help my partner can offer in getting these more tedious steps of the process done, thanks to my intense brain fog.

If anyone else has other thoughts about ways to figure out good gifts for disabled friends, feel free to add them!

(This was based on my own experience as a disabled person, who greatly enjoys giving the most perfect gifts to other people. I know love languages are an over-simplified way of looking at personal needs satisfaction, but gifts is genuinely, by far, my biggest love language.)

[anerdquemoraaolado]

Grains of Sand by The Shore

Chapter 14

Before they left, Shuri asked him to wait for her. They both agreed that it wasn't recommended at all for Namor to go around almost uncovered. She came back with what he inspected carefully, wondering about it all.

 Excusing himself, he changed away from his wife's eyes, baggy pants that covered the wings of his ankles, a shirt with small round stitches that he couldn't close even if he wanted to, sandals on his feet and a different headdress, something which Shuri called a cap.

 "Let's not risk showing your elf ears around," she said, adjusting the cap on his head.

 “Ears of what? “ he questioned immediately.

 “It's a mythological creature that usually has pointy ears “ she explained between laughs “ we need to fix that here too.

 Shuri busied herself with the shirt buttons, quickly fastening them.

 “How can you do that so fast? I couldn't no matter how hard I tried “ Namor asked, admired by her skills.

 "Many surface clothes have buttons, it's simple." She shrugged, as if it was no big deal.

 Leaving the silly little matter behind, they walked across the surface together, to the nearest town. Some instinct in Namor made him offer his wife a hand, a gesture on his part to keep her safe. With a small smile, she took his hand back. They ended up in a simple village, the streets were dirt and very few cars passed through the region. There was an open restaurant, with tables by the sea, and strings of light bulbs strung from poles around it.

 Namor was quiet, curious, looking around, letting Shuri do what was necessary, learning by watching her. A young man approached, speaking in Spanish, a language that still angered Namor. However, hearing it come out of Shuri's lips lessened the feeling for the moment. The boy left them again and Namor turned to his wife, trying to understand what had just happened.

 “What was this? “ he asked.

 “I requested my order, they have homemade tacos and soda “ she explained and even so, she saw the confusion on her husband's face “ it's a typical food from here, and soda it's a drink made from several things.

 “A place to order food, isn't there a stock or something? “ he looked genuinely curious.

 “It's a restaurant, Namor, people can order food different from those at home and eat here, but they also buy food at the supermarket, which is the closest to a stock, but you have to exchange whatever you want for money, every purchase at surface is made like this “ Shuri clarified with a patience that surprised herself “ never seen one of these?

 “I had, but I didn't know how they worked, I know things from the surface, but not their details “ he confessed “ I prefer my nation, to stay where I always belonged.

 “I understand, but you at least liked Wakanda “ she countered.

 “Because you are different, you are united “ he repeated himself, remembering using those same words on T'Challa's wedding day.

 “We have our problems too, believe me, no people are perfect, and it's not every surface dweller and everything they do that is bad “ she guaranteed “ I think that after this time being queen, I understood that my example can change things for the better, show Talokan that the good things on the surface.

 "Like you're doing to me right now," Namor added.

 “Yeah, I swear, it wasn't intentional, I just wanted to get out for a bit and have a night off from the queen job “ she ended up laughing.

 “You deserve a break, you are an excellent queen “ Namor reciprocated the smile, more compliments, and even a confession of love was stuck in his throat, but he held back.

 The waiter arrived and they ate, Namor careful as he tasted, with Shuri attentive to his reactions. Strange as they were, he had to admit, tacos and soda tasted good. She then joined him in the meal, as she ate, watching the man in front of her. He was her husband, her friend, so different from the man who had invaded Wakanda months ago, from the enemy she had fought. She enjoyed his company, loved being with him, his gentle way of speaking, the kind way he treated her, willing to make this alliance work. Today, Shuri didn't want to leave him alone on her little tour to the surface, in fact, she never wanted to leave him alone again. She wanted to have someone to ask and be sure that she had fallen in love. Away from her family, she would have to find that answer on her own.

 “The food is very good “ Namor interrupted the silence that was formed “ it's proof that really good things come from the surface, not just the bad.

 Building up courage, he looked away a little and then focused on her, only her, the owner of his heart.

 “You are living proof of something good that came from the surface, I feel honored, grateful and even embarrassed for you accepting me as a husband “ Namor looked steadily at her, determined not to back down this time “ I don't know if my feelings for you are reciprocated, but I learned to love you Shuri, daughter of T'Chaka, and that love only grows more and more and I'm sure for real my heart will forever belong to you.

 The confession took her by surprise, she swallowed a piece of taco hard, trying to think of what she was going to do next. The time to understand whether she loved Namor or not had arrived much sooner than she thought.

“Thanks “ she said first of all “ I... there's something I need to say too, I didn't intend to set all this up today, I didn't expect that going out with you would end like this, I just... Namor, I like you too, I fell in love with you and for me it's very confusing, because... you know what you did, what you took from me, but at the same time, all your care for me kind of made up for it all, maybe I will never heal from the loss of my mother, but I don't want to lose you either, I found a home away from home, and that has a lot to do with you, so there's nothing left for me to feel or say except that I love you too.

 After all her speech, Shuri ended up breaking down in tears, crying quietly and with shaking shoulders. Namor understood that maybe she needed more time to understand what was going on, and he would respect her space, even though he felt the celebration rising inside him of the fact that his wife loved him too.

 After a few moments, he got up slowly, still looking at her. He opened his arms slowly, and Shuri fell onto his chest, being enveloped by the affection she knew she would receive.

 "Let's go home," Namor offered, speaking softly in her ear, stroking her hair.

 They headed back to the cave, where they could talk more about what had happened.

[limeade-l3sbian]

2 years ago i was in a music phase and really wanted a guitar and my grandpa got me one as a present and i liked it for a few months but then i quickly fell out of my music phase and it hurts my hands to play and was very uncomfortable and i realized that guitar isnt for me and now i am VERY VERY VERY stressed out because of this fucking guitar because I feel very guilty for not playing it and I feel guilty and ashamed for making my grandfather spend money on it and now I'm not using it and I literally can't ask my mom to sell it because I will literally start crying mid-sentence and I just feel so ashamed like I'm a disgrace to my family all because i dont want to play guitar. and i tried forcing myself to play it but I just couldnt being myself to. These days I pretend to play it when I hear my mom or grandpa in the living room so they hear it from my room and it works bc they think I like it. im probably going to die with this guitar before i ever say that I don't like it

I don't want you to think I don't care bc I definitely do. But this is a very funny ask and it made me laugh very hard. But only because I read it in some panicking young woman's voice where the wordsmashtogetherlikethis 💀

I don't know how old you are anon but I promise you most people go through a big purchase phase. An instrument. Equipment for a sport. Change in wardrobe. Et cetera. You're good, anon lmao. You have a good heart since you clearly have respect for your grandfather's money and didn't just brush it off. Plus, maybe the music bug will bite you later and you'll be prepared. Either way, try not to cry (anymore) about this lmao.

[anxiouspregnantlady]

24+5

Woah, hello. It's been a whole month! P was out of school and we were scrambling every day to work + parent full time, but thankfully she has been back for a full week now and life is pretty good.

I've officially passed viability, yay!!

I am feeling overall pretty good!

Main updates:

Tailbone pain has started

Headaches sometimes, dizzy sometimes still

I think my climbing shoes feel tight? So, foot growth

Baby movements are quite big and fairly constant

Started feeling baby hiccup!

In terms of buying/acquiring things...I think we have all the big things (a car seat, a crib, newborn carrier, some bottle-type things) and I don't foresee any big items being needed in the next few months. Going back and forth on getting a separate pack n play, feel like baby can't possibly know the difference between a large crib and a small one?! Oh, nursing pillows - I don't have any. And I am waiting for my breastpump from insurance to arrive. And we need to set up the crib, planning to do that in... September.

Idk if it's my latent crunchiness or just nesting or plain old anxiety, but I feel very motivated to go plastic-free for as much of the feeding process as possible. Specifically trying to avoid warm/hot milk coming into contact with plastic. So...I'm going to try (TRY!) using mason jars for pumping and bottles ha ha hahahahahahaah i'm laughing at myself just typing this. But I really like the idea of using non-baby-specific stuff as much as possible. I want to protect myself from the BABY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX (call it Big Baby) as much as I can, and one way to do that is to just use non-baby items as baby items. Like.....changing a diaper on a towel. We will NOT be buying a changing pad. Also maybe I can just nurse with a normal pillow??? I do however want to prioritize my BODY and ERGONOMICS because I remember completely destroying my neck and back and hips and everything actually from constant breastfeeding and carrying and bending and all that. So I have spent a fortune on a hope and plum baby carrier which actually just arrived. It's a cross back soft structured carrier in natural materials. And maybe I will spend good money on an ~ergonomic~ nursing pillow. But. I am also trying my hardest to wait til AFTER the birth to buy all this stuff.

OK OK here are all my other crunchy aspirations... I am only keeping clothes that are made with natural materials 99% of the time. I want to make a lot of my own stuff, like bibs. We are all ready for cloth diapering round 2. I think I will lean away from purchasing playspaces/"baby" activities and adopt more of a follow-me-around-my-life type of approach. I was so anxious to entertain P all the time, and I now feel that that urge didn't serve me and perhaps didn't serve her. I didn't know at all how to regulate myself when she cried, and I was ballistic when she was ballistic, which was a lot of the time. I think I will (by necessity and also by a shift in philosophy) be more loosey goosey with the wake window type shit. I will not be logging my baby's feeds with an app, unless medically necessary for whatever reason, though I will probably write down times in a notebook.

So many things are different this time... for one, we have a car. This considerably opens up the world for me as a postpartum mama. We did have a car for a bit with P (borrowed), but we didn't have a parking permit for our area and had to park 15min walk away. Also, I had terrible anxiety about driving alone with P. I absolutely dreaded her crying alone in the backseat, and so I didn't go anywhere alone with her. Whew. No wonder why I felt miserable. We are much more well-acquainted with our neighborhood now, vs being quite new 3 years ago. And probably most significantly, WE HAVE PARENT FRIENDS!!!! OMG!!!!! That live 5-10ish min drive away. Also, her big sister will probably provide plenty of "entertainment", lol.

I think in lieu of buying a lot of stuff that - not gonna lie, I do feel the tug/impulse/advertising pressure to buy - I want to budget for regular massages.

I will NOT spend all my free time lurking Sleep Training Facebook pages (oh, i feel for my poor past self) or buying more things that promise to help my baby sleep. I will trust more in my baby's inherent ability to sleep. I would LOVE to continue engaging in my hobbies as much as possible - walks, sewing, climbing, pressure-free cooking, reading, watching TV. Basically, I am hoping very much that I will be more of a Person and less of a ball of anxiety.

I hope I will be more open to napping during the day. I remember I never napped with P. Maybe I didn't believe that I could, or felt anxious that it would be a waste of time.

Oops this turned into much more of a postpartum post than a pregnancy one...but honestly, pregnancy is quite uneventful right now. My next "thing" to do is do my glucose screening, which involves chugging 16oz of orange juice in under 5 minutes. Once I hit third trimester I will probably (but maybe not? shrug) be more in a birth and labor headspace. I have thought quite little about birth/labor tbh. And I kinda like it that way.