#i made baby gabby!

[jaymber]

2076!Gabby Luccessi Mishal Esposito

A borrowed name to follow a borrowed dream. Gabby never had any interest in working for corporations, let alone infiltrating one for another. They had no choice. What Father says, goes. From a graduate in sociology, Gabby became a double agent, but the secrets they cared about were the ones their colleagues kept behind their bedroom doors, not the ones whispered at meetings held by the higher-ups. Mishal was employed by Arasaka for less than a year, earning a little personal fortune being the sugar baby of more than one senior member, before Gabby disappointed their father by their lack of information and was fired from Militech. Their identity blown, Gabby became an enemy of Arasaka, hunted down until they joined countless others in the depths of Del Coronado Bay. But what no one knew, not even themself, was that it'd take much more than that to put an end to Gabby Luccessi.

[caitlinsclark]

FEELIN 22 caitlin clark caitlin clark x singer!reader | summary: caitlin's celebrity crush is discussed during jada's live. based on this request. ✰ part of my 500 follower celebration! word count: 2.2k masterlist and tag list

It was an innocent question, one that was offered by a viewer of Jada’s live. Kate, Gabbie, Caitlin, and Jada were in the weight room, separated at their chosen machines. 

“Who is one celebrity you’d like to see come to one of our games?” Jada read aloud to the group, tapping her lips in thought.

Caitlin was all too eager to scream your name from out of frame, hopping over with an excited smile as she pulled out her phone. Upon turning the screen toward the camera, viewers could see she already had your song playing in her AirPods. But that wasn’t enough as she disconnected the bluetooth on her phone and played the song out of her speakers.

“I was enchanted to meet you,” Caitlin danced around, running circles in the room with a newfound energy, “Please don’t be in love with someone else, please don’t have somebody waiting on you!” Her voice cracked with the volume of her singing voice.

“Yeah,” Caitlin breathed out with a huge smile after, her dimples making an appearance, “She’s been my favorite.” 

The girls had shielded their faces from the camera, trying their best to hide the knowing glances they shared. Caitlin basically skipped back off the camera, returning to her machine as she continued to hum the beat of your song. 

“So that’s Caitlin’s, if you couldn’t tell,” Jada laughed, scrolling through the comments who all were freaking out about Caitlin’s enthusiasm. There was a huge overlap between your fan bases, unknown to both of you, but it was there.

TikTok was your best friend and Caitlin’s worst as it flooded with the edited clip of her singing your song. The basketball player was doubtful you’d see something like that. But with the amount of both your and her fans spam tagging you, she wasn’t too sure after all.

And luckily it ended up on the top of your FYP, reposted by ESPN themselves which was even funnier. You watched in content as the brunette strained her vocal cords to show the love for your music. You couldn’t see your reflection as you watched, but knew the dumb smile on your face said far too much.

With all the instigation energy you possessed in your soul, you decided to actively tease not only your fans but Caitlin too. Upon seeing that there was an Iowa game currently streaming, you turned on the TV and leaned back to get comfortable on the hotel bed. After a few beats, you pulled out your phone to take a sly picture and posted it to your story. If Caitlin’s jersey number was front and centered, that was simply an accident of timing. 

Though it wasn’t an accident when you joined Jada’s live the next time you were free, giggling evilly when you saw that Caitlin was indeed there too in the room with her.

Jada’s eyes widened at the comments that seemed to speed up three times faster at the presence of your username, “Who’s here?” She furrowed her eyebrows, only to gasp when you sent a ‘hi’ in the chat.

‘JOIN’ ‘LET HER ON THE LIVE’ ‘INVITE HER AS A GUEST’ the comments flooded and Jada made quick work of doing just that, wordless at the fact that you had stumbled onto her stream.

“It’s for you,” Jada tossed the phone to Caitlin immediately and stood back, hitting her other friends to get their attention. Caitlin made a face as she looked at the screen, only seeing a buffering icon when she angled it to face her.

Until your smiling face replaced it and she almost squeaked in shock. Caitlin rubbed her eyes, feeling like this was some dream she was about to wake up from.

“Are you like,” She moved the camera far away before bringing it closer to analyze the picture, “real?”

“No, I was the baby brought by the stork like your parents told you about,” You nodded, pursing your lips as she broke out into a tiny smile, progress from the nervousness clear on her face.

“Makes sense, you’re too flawless anyway.” The compliment rolled off her tongue naturally. 

You remembered what it was like to have a celebrity crush, and she was showing practically every sign under the sun as she blushed under your gaze when you hadn’t spoke up right away.

“So I heard I could make dreams come true by coming to one of your games?” You twirled a piece of your hair around your finger slowly, giving her a thoughtful look.

“Many,” Caitlin nodded shamelessly, her dimpled smile accompanying it, “Even more if you did it in a ’22’ jersey.” Her shy demeanor seemed to weather away in your presence, ignoring her friends cackling in the background.

It was the start to a long talking stage, one that the two of you kept away from the public. Your fans had eventually died down on the hype of your overlapping circles, falling to the back of their minds when there had been no new content. With Caitlin working hard in training and you working hard on your tour, you hadn’t had any chances to meet up.

So the second that she had a few days off in her schedule, you were the first person she called. 

“Not to be too forward or anything, but I may have a few days in between shows.” And the way mesmerizing way you bit your lip in anticipation, as if she’d say no, had her saying yes even faster.

You two had spent the entire week together, tucked away and blissfully out of prying eyes. Caitlin had made the choice to rent a place a little ways out of the city you’d be performing in and you didn’t even hesitate to say yes to staying with her.

You’d baked cookies while she sat gleefully on the counter, more interested in watching you than learning how to bake. She’d pulled you onto her lap while watching basketball, convincing you that you needed to be able to hear her better to understand what was going on.

The pair of you were passing back and forth a basketball out on the asphalt underneath the hoop the owners had installed. Caitlin passed it to you, shifting her feet quickly to guard you as you made moves toward the net.

“Oh!” You screamed, dribbling past her with an impressive speed that she tried to match, “Oh! Oh!” You chanted dramatically as you shot the ball after faking her out. It didn’t quite make it in, which had you staring in disappointment as it bounced off the rim. It wasn’t able to make it far before Caitlin grabbed it mid air and pushed it back into the hoop, cheering for you this time. You laughed at her, playfully hitting away her hands as she tried to tickle the frown off your face.

She pulled you in tight, wrapping her arms so protectively around your neck that you had no choice but to melt into her. Your head laid comfortably against the muscle of her arm.

She brushed her thumb against your back soothingly, completely enamored with the way your popstar persona seemed to subside in her presence.

It warmed her heart to know that despite being two major public figures, you kept the most humane parts residing here, in the privacy of her basketball court under the night stars with your arms around one another.

She had been love drunk enough to follow you to the next stop, something that didn’t take too much convincing after the coldness of her bed without you in it awoke her brutally.

In a simple week, the warmth of your presence managed to make everything else seem cold in the middle of summer. That’s how Caitlin wound up in the tent, singing proudly and loudly all of your songs right back to you. A drink in her hand that had barely been touched with how into the show she was.

It was the last song of the night, so you naturally had to end it with a bang. You’d been sneakily planning this for the last week.

Caitlin had exited the tent, lingering in between the stage and barricades so she could be closer to you. She waved to a few fans who called out her name but blocked them out the second you started talking again.

“So I decided to pull a song out of the archives,” You adjusted the mic, standing up and adjusting the pleated skirt fluttering around your thighs. “I’m just feeling 22.” You shrugged playfully, basking in the screams that the crowd let out at the double entendre, but they didn’t realize the half of it.

The familiar beat of ’22’ started up and you stood with your hands behind your back innocently, letting the cheers erupt and reactions settle in before beginning to sing.

You adjusted the hat on your head, twirling around as you sang, “I don’t know about you.”

You nudged one of your backup dancers dramatically, playing up the next line and you fed off of the roars the crowd let out.

Caitlin’s head tilted back in a laugh, covering her mouth to hide the huge grin forming as she looked adoringly in your direction.

She watched in awe as you pranced around the stage, brushing her hand and squeezing tightly when you passed by.

Her phone hadn’t left the grip of her hand as she recorded you in your element, beaming as she sang the words right back to you. She was almost as breathless as you on stage just from watching.

“I hope you guys don’t mind me bringing out a special guest?” You screamed breathlessly into the mic, the instrumentals took over during the bridge as you took a break from prancing around the stage.

Caitlin’s eyes widened and her jaw went slack from her spot within the safety of the gated off area. The crowd next to her screamed bloody murder, pointing excitedly at her as you approached where she stood sheepishly.

But with the electricity of the crowd’s screams and your smile right at her, she had no choice but to grab your hand and let you lead her up onto the stage.

The entire scene felt cinematic as you intertwined your fingers and leaned into Caitlin’s side, letting the screams and cheers soak in. Her grin was infectious as she let herself get sucked into the glow of your skin and sparkly outfit.

Your hand didn’t leave hers as you put the microphone back up to your mouth, pulling her alongside you down the strip of the stage. “It feels like one of those nights!” The crowd sang along with you, cheering louder as Caitlin twirled you around once you reached the end of the of the stage. The smile could be heard in your voice as she pulled you back into her with a lovesick smile. “I gotta have you,” You finished with a large exhale, breathless by not only the song but the exhilaration of sharing this moment with her.

You turned around at the end of the stairs, facing Caitlin with a devious look on your face. She rose her eyebrows as you lifted the hat off your own head and plopped it on hers, refusing to look away from her eyes despite the bright lights and distracting screams.

Confetti fell around you both, prompting joyous laughter from not only you and Caitlin, but your backup dancers as you all pranced off the stage.

She placed the hat back on your head, sliding her hands through your hair to rest on your neck. You didn’t need any persuasion when you practically pounced on her, letting the energy of the screams around you fuel you to pull her down to your level and connect your lips. 

She eagerly pulled you in closer, taking a few stumbled steps back and protectively leading you back into the tent, refusing to let you go yet. You couldn’t get enough of one another, though it became hard to keep up through the large smiles both of you were sporting.

“Is it weird if I hang this up on my wall?” She asked as she twirled the hat around in her palms. Fan first, girlfriend second, you were reminded.

You laughed, stumbling a little in your heels in a moment of adoration and Caitlin took advantage of it by sliding her arm around your waist. You welcomed the hold, laying your hand on hers and resting your head on her arm to look up at her.

You mulled the idea over in your head, playfully scrunching up your features in thought, “Not weird if I can get a signed jersey for mine.”

“Deal.” She scoffed like she’d won the lottery in that trade, you had to stop your cheeks from warming at the amount of support she’d shown you.

She gasped, a level of enthusiasm that jarred you a bit in the opposing serene environment, “Can I ride one of the bikes out next time?” In reference to the bikes your backup dancers rode during the show.

And you simply grinned at her excitement, taking note of the promise of next time. But you made sure to remind her of what had led you two to talking in the first place, “You still owe me a seat at one of your games. I gotta see your stage now.”

TAGLIST! @lovermcres @glorioushamsterqueen @miedmead @blueagle45 @pbloverr @cavillary @elizabethkitley @1-800-fantasy @into-f0lkl0re @mysticchildsuit @sapphicmermaid

[bxeckersz]

LUNCH | kate martin x female!reader

summary: the girls wanna go out for lunch but kate decides to have a snack before…

warnings: smut (straight filth), p eating (r! receiving), language, mommy kink

“I could eat that girl for lunch. Yeah, she dances on my tongue.”

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Kate had invited her team to our house today since the girls had an off day. It was rare that they had any off days so we always made sure to do something.

“guys we should go out to lunch” Gabbie suggested. I was sitting on the couch, my legs draped over Kate’s lap as she slowly rubbed on my thighs.

The whole team was over at me and Kate’s house right now. Like the whole team. Most of the girls were sprawled on the floor watching their phones or making TikToks.

“We should” Jada and Caitlin said at the same time causing the room to erupt into laughter. “Bro, ya’ll are literally twins” I laughed. “I know right. My evil twin right here” Jada said as she interlocked arms with Caitlin.

The girls started to get up, grabbing their bags and stuff. “Kate, Y/n? are ya’ll coming?” Kennise said, grabbing her phone. “Uhm. Yeah. we’ll just meet you guys there” Kate said, causing me to look up.

“Alright” Molly said. With that everyone walked out of the door. “Why didn’t we leave with them?” I said, curiosity filling my tone in voice.

Kate just smirked and pulled me onto her lap, kissing me intensely. Her hands roamed my body, eventually going down to grab my ass.

“Kate. in- Lets go in the room.” I managed to get out in between kisses. “mhm” She nodded. She picked me up, my legs wrapping around her waist as we walked into our room.

She put me down on the bed, going on top of me. Her kisses roamed my body going from my lips to my neck. “Kate” I moaned out. “don’t. Don’t leave any hickeys.”

“mhm” she hummed against my skin. “let’s hurry up, hm?” Kate whispers, her voice low and husky. I nod eagerly.

“let’s take these off” She said, pulling my shorts and panties off. “So wet for me, ma.” She said, attaching her lips to my pussy.

“oh fuck” I moan out, gripping kate’s hair. I feel her smirk against me, speeding up her movements. “you taste so good” She hummed against my pussy.

“faster, kate. please” I moan out. “so needy” She rasped, moving her tongue faster. “kate. fuck. oh yes” I moan. she looked up at me, making eye contact as her tongue slid into me, finding the right spot.

“shit. right there.” I moan out, grinding my hips against her face. “fuck. feels so good. so good.” I moan. “Doing so good, baby” kate said, repeatedly hitting the same spot.

“fuck. i’m gonna cum.” I moan as my legs begin to shake, tightening my thighs around her head. “go ahead, ma. cum for me” Kate said, moving faster. Her words combined with that tongue of hers sent me over edge.

That tight knot in my stomach snapped. “oh fuck. mommy.” I moaned as i came. Kate smirked, looking up at me as she helped me ride my high out.

I felt her phone buzz from the side of me so i grabbed it, throwing it to her, very out of breath. “yeah?” Kate said, licking her lips.

“Bro, hurry the hell up.” Caitlin said. “aight, aight. we’re coming.” Kate said, out of breath. were ya’ll fucking or something? like why are you so out of breath?” Kennise said, popping her head into the phone.

“Bro. get the fuck off my phone. text me the restaurant you guys went to. we’re on the way” Kate said, hanging up. “We gotta go, baby. and you gotta fix that” Kate said, pointing to my shaking legs.

“Bro. shut up.” I said, getting up to get clothes out. “Watch that mouth of yours” Kate said. “shit. I’m so full off of eating you for lunch, i don’t know if i’m gonna get anything.” Kate added, laughing slightly.

I just rolled my eyes at her comment, walking into the bathroom to get ready.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

thanks for reading all the way through, as alwaysss!! guys this might be shit I literally rushed through this 😭😭.

anyways, hope you guys enjoy!

[smiths-fan--13]

hii! i would like to request a kate martin x reader fic with an age gap (kate being older). the plot could be abt whatever u want im js dying for older!kate x reader 🙏🏾

ofc! love this idea, thanks anon xo ____________________________________________________

Kate Martin as an older gf headcannons

younger!r x older kate martin

warnings: none!

____________________________________________________

-> She's a senior and you're a sophomore

-> She often teases you about your age, though there isn't really that much difference.

"Hey baby, you ready to go?" Kate asks, kissing your forehead as you smile up at her. She stifles a laugh while you pick up your stuff and pack it away, getting ready to leave.

"What is it now, Martin?"

"Get it? Baby? Cause you're so young and you're like my little baby!" Kate throws her head back laughing as you groan, hauling your bag over your shoulder as you begin to leave the library.

"You know, if I'm a baby, that makes you a big fat pedo" you tell her as you spin around. She chuckles softly as she wraps an arm around your shoulder, shaking her head.

"Only you would call me a pedo after I made you see stars last night" she whispers in your ear as you both laugh, leaving the library.

-> She loves driving you everywhere and picking you up. She especially loves when you and the girls need a ride to girls' night. You're definitely her passenger princess, no matter what.

-> Loves taking care of you

-> 100% does whatever you tell her to, even though she's older.

"Hey ma can you please fill up my waterbottle?" You groan from the bed.

"Noo do it yourself, I always do it." She pouts back at you.

You lower your bottle and sit up in bed, raising an eyebrow at her.

She flushes as she mumbles and grabs the waterbottle from your hands, filling it up for you anyways. She returns quickly, your bottle filled with cold water and ice.

"Thank you babyy" You flash her a smile as she crawls into the bed with you.

"Yeah yeah whatever"

You both laugh as she cuddles into you.

-> Her friends and teammates tease her when she comes into practice with marks on her neck and body.

She's standing in the change room getting changed for practice when Jada walks in and laughs at her.

"What?" Kate looks at her, confused.

Jada points at her neck and stomach as she continues to stifle her laughter. Kate looks down and notices the purple hickies littering her body. She smirks and shrugs as Caitlin and Gabbie walk in.

"What can I say? My girls a pro" She announces to them proudly, knowing they'd never say a thing to anyone else.

They all laugh at her, nicknaming her "sub" for the rest of the week, giving the sporty phrase a new meaning.

-> Lets you use her little baby blanket when you want to, or when she's not using it. She loves just laying it over the top of you guys before you go to sleep, or wrapping it over you under the blankets as she cuddles you.

-> Secretly loves being older; also loves the idea of being bigger and stronger than you and being able to protect you if ever needed.

-> Thinks she has her own "spidey senses"

You got really bored one day while Kate was at practice and decided to attempt origami. You pull up a YouTube tutorial on a flower and less than 10 minutes in, got a papercut.

"Fuck" You groan, quickly sticking your finger in your mouth to stop the bleeding.

Just as you pull your finger away to examine it, your phone rings. Kate. You pick up and immediately hear her voice.

"Baby are you okay? I just got a feeling to call you and check on you."

You laugh at her words.

"Yes angel, just a papercut"

"Oh" You hear her audibly sigh, relieved it wasn't serious.

"Are you okay though?" She asks again.

"Yeah, of course"

"Okay good. I gotta go, Lisa's yelling at me. If something else happens- call me. Actually no, my spidey tingles will pick it up"

-> Literally worships the ground you walk on, adores everything you say and do. You're it for her.

____________________________________________________

Love this request, I hope I did okay!

Keep the requests coming, I'm slowly working through them xx

[foreingersgod]

kate martin x girly reader and readers pet name for kate is “bear” because she’s so big and cuddly and reader calls kate “bear” in front of her teammates after kates game and they all tease her for it

Bear . KM

pairing: kate martin x reader

synopsis: your little nickname for kate has quite the impression on the team

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

you don’t really know when it started, but it just stuck. the idea to call kate “bear” conjured in your mind one evening, when you were laid atop kate’s chest with her strong arms wrapped around you. she towered over you in height by quite a lot and was the biggest, cuddliest, clingiest girlfriend to ever exist so what better pet name than “bear”?

“love you, bear” you had mumbled one night, yawning and drowsy. you offered her a toothy grin while your eyes fought to stay open.

you and kate had just gotten home from a night out, only leaving as early as you did because you were absolutely exhausted and about to fall asleep in the booth. your girlfriend had so graciously helped you back to your shared apartment where she dressed you into your pajamas and tucked you into bed.

“bear?” she questioned, climbing into bed next to you, letting your head fall onto her shoulder.

“mmm yea” you giggled, definitely almost sleep by now “you’re like my big strong cuddly bear, i jus’ love you s’much”

she chuckled to herself, finally hearing your gentle snores. kate thought it was sweet how you had come up with the pet name, loved that you were thinking of her. so she encouraged it, obsessed with the way it had sounded coming from your lips.

the buzzer had sounded, declaring the end of a wonderful game for iowa. the girls had won by a landslide against the other team. you had watched from the sidelines, like you always did, cheering the entire night as your girlfriend kicked ass.

when the teams post-game celebrations died down, family and friends crowded the arena floor. you followed suit as you pushed past groups of people to try and find kate. she was across the floor, glowing with excitement and talking to the team.

you bolted over towards her, calling out her name to grab her attention. she turned with the biggest smile on her face to see you approaching her. seeing you after a big win was one of her favorite feelings.

she let out a soft ‘hmph’ as you jumped into her, arms wrapping around her neck, kate’s large hands finding the small of your back. her nose nudged against your neck as she hugged you deeply.

“you did so good, bear!” you praised, pulling away from the hug to kiss her cheek “i’m so proud of you!”

“thanks baby” she said, holding your waist to keep you at her side.

“bear, huh?” caitlin teased “is that what we’re calling you now?”

the team laughed, making harmless jokes about the nickname you had for kate.

“shut up” kate chuckled back “that name is reserved for YN and YN only”

you felt a faint heat form on your cheeks, turning them a shade of scarlet. the jokes didn’t bother you at all, but you really did enjoy how she was quick to take full possession of the name.

“what about teddy? teddy bear? can we call you that?” gabbie chimed in “our big ol’ teddy bear!”

“whatever, you wish!” kate responded, shoving her playfully.

after a bit more teasing she finally started saying her farewells for the night “hey, i think we’re gonna head out, but i’ll see you guys tomorrow”

they all nodded, hugging her before she dragged you off the arena floor. you congratulated her again as you made your way to the car to drive home, making sure she knew how proud you are of her.

the apartment was quiet when you arrived home. kate dropped her things at the door before hopping into a hot shower before bed. you, even though she practically pleaded for you to join her, opted for getting cozy in bed. you listened to the flow of the water stop, listened to her follow her nightly routine to a “t” as you scrolled on your phone. when she finally emerged from the bathroom, hot steam trailing behind her, you were still awake.

“still up?” kate asked, already under the covers.

“can’t fall asleep without you, bear” you smiled. she looked down at you, biting her lip when she heard it. she would listen to you calling her bear on repeat if she could.

“i love you so much, y’know that?”

“always,” you replied “i love you so much more”

[allthelovenina]

Sweet

Levi helps his wife with the heavy breasts after the pregnancy-

NOT SFW, minors do not interact, +18

Warning: lactating, slight mommy kink

"W...what do you mean?" She flustered as the blush spread all over her face. He felt proud that after all this time, he could still make her blush and fluster.

"Didn't you just say your body produces too much for the baby? That..." he continued in a mocking tone "they feel heavy and sore?"

"I...I'm not sure if it works b...but..." The idea made her feel the heat growing between her thighs. She wasn't sure if sucking the milk out of her breasts would help with the heaviness and soreness but damn she wanted to try it with her husband.

Levi had already put his 3-month-old daughter to sleep in the other room, Gabbie and Falco had already left after helping Levi with packing the tea leaves for his teashop so they had the whole night.

"I won't do anything you feel even slightly uncomfortable with." He sat next to her on the bed as she was lying on the bed with her back facing the wall behind her. She removed her shirt and bra in no time and threw them on the floor. "Do it."

Levi's expression remained the same but teasing tone if his voice was now somehow taunting. "My, my, someone's eager."

"It's been a while since the last time." She whispered so quietly he almost didn't hear it. The man got closer and closer, left a kiss on his wife's forehead and then moved down to her nose, chin and lastly, her lips. He felt electrified by the touch and she could feel her heartbeat fastening. He moved his head to deepen the kiss, his hands were now playing with her hair.

She broke the kiss to catch her breath, as she was sucking the air into her lungs, Levi's lips met her nipple and she gasped.

He gave her nipple a little suction, which filled his mouth with the sweet, warm liquid. A small moan escaped from his mouth as he felt the soft flesh of her nipple combined with the ecstatic taste. He devoured her as if he was starving for this moment for a very long time.

He pulled back to pull her panties down, his wife was a hot mess. All red and sweaty, holding back her moans with her hand just to avoid waking their daughter up.

Her skirt was still on as he pulled it up, he started massaging her clit while attacking her other nipple. His jaw was moving and the suction grew harder. His eyes never left hers. Her body was more sensitive than before, maybe because they hadn't done it for a long time.

Their bodies missed each other.

It was getting harder and harder to keep her moans down, her hand grabbing his hair, pulling him closer, and yanking his hair at the same time while the other remained on her own mouth. She didn't want to wake her daughter.

She felt like she was getting closer and closer to the edge, her climax approaching. Levi let go of her nipple and stopped moving her fingers inside of her. He went down her, running his tongue on her folds, finally locking it on your clit, sucking it gently and started moving his fingers once again at a faster pace.

"L...Levi...please...please...I'm..." Before she could finish her sentence, the man pulled out his fingers and removed his tongue, only to switch them. Now his tongue was swirling in her as his fingers were once again on her clit, massaging it.

She cried out his name, throwing her head back. Her nipples were lactating again, the drops of the liquid, oozing down from her breast to her stomach, with his other hand, he gripped her breast and squeezed it, the liquid then squirted on her body and his face. She moaned loudly at the pressure and the sight, once again she was getting closer. Levi knew it already as her knees started to shiver.

Once she let put by a loud moan, calling his name, Levi let go of his grip and moved back to catch his breath.

Gosh he missed her.

With the back of his hand, he cleaned his mouth and his milky face. His wife was a panting mess when she leaned closer to him and started unbuttoning his shirt. Once his shirt was gone, her hands went to his belt, unbuckling it. He moved and pulled down his pants, with his pants pulled halfway down, her hands met his chest and she pushed him down on the bed he was sitting on.

His wife leaned and gave him a passionate kiss on his lips, his hands moved on her hips and buttocks under her skirt. She broke the kiss and went down on his neck, the scent of his soup reached her nasal. It had been a while since the last time she was here. What had started with innocent ghostly kisses on his neck escalated into wet kisses, sucking his skin and leaving red spots behind which would turn purple some time later.

His hand gripped her hair, he was growing impatient. The other hand travelled to her waistband and pulled down her skirt. She backed off and removed the skirt, throwing it god knows where.

"You're gonna kill me, y/n... ride me already."

She smirked, "You're so impatient, captain." Levi clicked his tongue in annoyance and rolled his eyes. She could swear he got even more handsome after the scars on his face. "And you're too cheeky for the person who was begging me a moment ago."

His replies never failed to catch her off guard, she remained silent, surrounded. Her hands started to work on his boxer, pulling out his cock, giving it some gentle stroke and smearing the precum all over it. "Hmm...you want my mouth or my hands?" You teased. "Or maybe...you don't have the patience for those?"

"Fuck...stop teasing me, woman. Just ride me already." He tried to hide the desperation in his voice which he failed as the last word basically turned into a beautiful moan.

She let out a breathy chuckle and stood on her knees, guiding his cock into her entrance and slowly, sank into it.

She moaned loudly and rested her hands on his chest to keep her balance. She waited a few moments to adjust to him once again. He felt like his cock was melting inside of her, and the room suddenly felt too hot for him, he just wanted to leave everything to his wife at this point, as he felt at her mercy. He missed being in her arms.

She started moving up and down, her moves started slowly, he watched as his cock would disappear into her and reappear once again. Again and again.

He looked up at her. Her breasts bounced as she sped up, her jaw dropped a little open and the O shape of her lips as his cock hit all the right spots. He moaned merely at the sight.

His hand which missed two fingers, rested on her hand and the other found its place on her nipple. Playing with it, teasing it, milking it. She was struggling not to scream at this point.

He felt his cum twitching, he was close. "Mommy...I'm...about to cum..." he said panting, fighting his life not to scream and moan. Which once again, he failed. Cause he was a moaning desperate thing under her touch.

"Cum inside again, baby."

Her hand reached to her clit, massaging it roughly, his eyes rolled back, and her pussy tightened around him which made him realize she was close too, he hold back for her to cum first. Once she reached her second orgasm while moaning uncontrollably, he threw his head back and for a moment, all he could see was white as he finished in her. A few moments passed as she slowly pulled his cock out of herself and laid next to her husband, panting.

He grabbed the paper towel on the nightstand, grabbed one, lifted her leg and cleaned her.

"Does your breasts feel less heavy?"

She let out a chuckle. "Totally."

"Tsk, I should wash the mattress, and you too."

"Go away, old man! I'm tired now."

He let out a scoff "Brat. I'll give you a moment but we should take a shower."

She rolled her eyes and nodded in silence as she rested her head on his scarred chest.

If he were to die at this moment, he'd die the happiest man alive.

[pbnbucks]

i need anything gabby williams related 😞🙏🏽

word count : 590

warnings : inappropriate jokes

summary : walks on the beach during the sunset

“hey pretty girl” gabby sneaks up behind you pulling your up against her back placing innocent kisses on your cheek.

“yes gabby?” you question the excited girl who usually never has this much enthusiasm “i want to take you on a date” she says nervously making you giggle at the emotion

“you really have to ask me that baby?” you smile turning your head around to look at her face as drops her head in slight embarrassment but picking it back up

“well you know im quite the gentleman” she speaks making you blush at her thoughtful actions pressing a kiss on her sweet lips that she just layered with her strawberry chapstick.

“and where exactly are you taking me?” you pull away from the intimate kiss. “its quite the suprise, maybe you’ll end up in my basement” she retorts being her annoying playful self.

“your annoying you know that” you push her away but she comes right back kissing your neck. “maybe, but you love me so it doesn’t matter” she says ending the strong kiss on your neck making a loud popping noise

“ouu that will be there for a while” she teases making your hand cover the place she was kissing pulling away from her “gabby!” you yell out in frustration.

the air flowing through your hair as your toes where covered in sand coming off after every wave came running towards you both slowly making its way back on you as gabbys hand rested in yours with interlocked fingers.

“did i meet your standards?” she questions as her face was filled with seriousness and a little bit of wonder hoping she made your day

“you did perfect” you coo soothing her worry filled expression as she picked you up bridal style walking further in the water as sets you down where now the water was resting a little bit below your knees

“what would you do if i asked you to marry me pretty?” her sentence breaking every bone in your body “im not saying right now but in a few months where do you see us” she trys to calm your evident worry as you think on what to say and if your even ready for that big of a relationship.

“i mean yea i could see us married in a year” a smile plasters on her face getting ready for her next question “so your saying you would marry me if i asked” she asks acting like a lost puppy with you searching for you response

“yes gabby, if you were to ask me in about a year i will marry you” she kisses your neck pleased with the response you gave her as her arms grip tighter around you not letting you slip through

“i could make love to you right here in the middle of the ocean” she says giggling into the crook of your neck pleased with her unnecessary joke.

“gabby!” you push her away as she falls in to the water making a big splash as you laugh at her before she pulls you in with her now getting you soaked in the californian ocean.

when you come up from under the water she pulls you in to a kiss before pulling away as you both hold eye contact with each other before you break it by splashing water in her face laughing at her as she wasn’t ready for it trying to make your way out of the water before your pulled right back in to her warmth grasp.

[delulu-baddie]

Special Surprise

Summary: You plan a surprise party for Kate but in order for your plan to work you have to pretend to not plan anything for her.

Pairing: Kate Martin x Reader

Warnings: None just fluff

Today is Kate's birthday and since I’ve known her, I've always made a big deal of it even when we werent dating. However, today my plan is to make her think it’s the last of my priorities, when in reality I’ve been planning a party for her for the past two months. I have a career in event planning so I went all out to celebrate her special day. Her parents, siblings, and some close friends flew in last night and are staying in a hotel close by. I rented out a venue for us to have enough space for everyone, and were getting caterers and many other things.

 It's currently 7:30 and I have a lot to do today, so I quietly get out of bed and start getting ready for the day. As I'm finishing up the final touches of my makeup, I hear footsteps in the hallway signifying Kate is now awake. I take a deep breath and pray that I don't cave and screw my whole plan up by just telling her everything I have planned out of excitement. She knocks on the door and walks in immediately  wrapping her arms around my waist and snuggling her head into my neck. “Good morning birthday girl” I say, giving her a quick kiss on the head. She lifts her head saying good morning back to me, turning me around and giving me a kiss on the lips. “So what are your plans for the day?” I ask her, she gives me a confused look and I immediately know what she's about to say. “What do you mean, didn’t we plan to do our birthday brunch tradition like always” she asked, lifting an eyebrow. Kate and I have always gone out with each other for brunch on our birthdays just to have time with the two of us, but I have so much to do today I'm not going to be able to do it today so I'm hoping the party will make up for it. 

“I'm sorry baby, I must’ve forgotten to tell you. I have a meeting today with my boss about an event coming up for a special client. I'm not going to be able to make it. "I say feeling guilty about bailing on the one thing I know she was looking forward to. “Oh, it’s okay we can do something later when we're both done, I have practice anyways so I probably should’t eat a bunch of food anyways.” she said trying to play off but failed to hide her clearly disappointed face. “ I promise I'll make it up to you, maybe we can go out after we both finish what we need to do today, but I really need to go. I'm already running late, i love you”  I give her a kiss and quickly start gathering my things to leave. Thankfully I didn't say anything about tonight's plans but her saddened expression almost broke my facade. 

The first thing i have to do today is to go pick out an outfit for Kate to wear tonight so i make my way to the mall and go into a few stores before settling on an all red suit with a white top. I go to check out and run into Jada and Gabby “OMG hey guys, i wasn’t expecting to see you until tonight” i say bringing them into a hug “Hey! Yeah we had to get some last minute pieces for our outfits” Jada says hugging me back. “We’re really excited about tonight, it sounds like you have a lot planned out.” Gabby says with a wide smile. “I do, I feel bad about keeping it from Kate, but I know she's going to love it, especially seeing all of her family and friends.” I replied, “Do you need any help with anything, we don't have much planned for the day and we know youre going to be super busy.” Jada asked. “Yes, actually would you mind picking up the cake from the bakery on your way to the party. The table will already be set up so you can just ask the workers to bring the cake in because it's going to be a little heavy. "I ask “of course, just text one of us the address and we'll text you when we get it.” Gabby says “Thank you so much, I have to get going but I love you guys, I'll see you later.” I give them another hug and make my way back to my car.

After getting into the car I get a text message from Kate, it's a picture of her with a birthday girl tiara and button the A’ja got her. I heart the picture telling her she looks adorable before putting my phone on, continuing the errands that i need to do . After a couple of hours I finally finished setting everything up for the party, loving how the decorations turned out. I decided to do a casino themed party since it's our first year celebrating in Vegas. I got a few slot machines, a card table, all of the decorations were casino related, and there was a photo booth that I'm very excited to use tonight with kate. I make my way back home hoping Kate is home when I get there since it's getting closer to the start of the party. I told everyone to get there at 7 and we would get there at 7:30 to give everyone a chance to get there and mingle a little before Kate arrives. Once I get inside I see she still hasn't arrived so I go and hang up the new outfit I got her in the closet and start getting myself ready before she gets here. It's 5:30 and Kate has just arrived back home and I immediately greet her “Hi babe, how was practice?” I asked, walking up, noticing her looking me up and down. “It was good, you look nice” she says, grabbing my waist. “Well I did promise you that i would take you out for dinner tonight, now hurry go get ready your outfits hanging up in the closet.” I told her. “You got me a new outfit, babe you didn't have to do that, i have plenty of clothes.” she says. “I know but I felt bad about this morning so I decided I was going to go all out tonight to celebrate you, starting with making sure you look good.” I say pushing her towards our bedroom urging her to go get ready. She finished getting ready at the perfect time and we started heading to the party that she thinks is a dinner

We get to the car and she tells me that she’ll drive but I insist on driving for obvious reasons, excited to finally show her that my meeting about a “special client” was actually for her. “Oh shoot, I totally forgot I had to drop off some of the decorations for the party I have tomorrow, would you mind if I stopped at the venue before we went to dinner?” I ask her “Yeah that's fine, as long as I get you all to myself for the rest of the night” she says. I park the car and tell her to come inside with me. As we were walking I text Jada and tell her we just got to the venue so that she can let everyone know to get into position for the surprise. As we walk in I grab Kate's hand before opening the door revealing everyone. “SURPRISE” they all yell with smiles on their faces. “WHAT THE HELL” Kate yells looking over at me with a surprised look on her face. “I told you I promised I'd make it up to you” I said with a light laugh. Her parents approach us giving us hugs, giving us each a hug and telling me how much they love the decorations. 

The night is a huge success. Kate kept on telling me how much she loves me and appreciated the party, but I would do anything for her so this was really nothing to me. We make our way over to the photo booth and talk for a little bit before stepping out to the party. “So when you said you had a meeting about a special client, did you mean me?” she says with a smirk on her face. “Yes, you are the most special person in my life” I say smiling up at her. “Well if I'm so special, why did you lie to me about your plans for today?” she asks sarcastically. “I didn’t lie, I just didn't tell you” I say laughing. “Well nonetheless, I love it, thank you so much babe.” she says, bringing me into a kiss. “Of course, you know I had to go full out for your first Vegas birthday.” I say. “Well if this is what you came up with for my birthday, i can't wait to see our wedding” she replies grabbing my hands. “Yeah this is going to be hard to top” I say before kissing her one more time before making our way back out to the party. 

As the night comes to an end, everyone starts to say their goodbyes and tell me how much fun they had, which warmed my heart. I'm just glad that I was able to give my girlfriend the best day today. I make my way over to Kate who's talking to some of her teammates and join in on the conversation, which wasn't too long since it was getting late and they all were ready to hit the sack. “I had so much fun tonight,” Kate tells me, wrapping her arms around me, rocking side to side. “I'm glad you had fun but i have one more gift for you, but we have to go home for that” I say with a smirk. She looks at me confused before catching on to what I just said. She immediately grabs my hand dragging me out to the car eager to receive that last gift.

[mrsarnold]

— headcanons ✩ gabby w.

sym : just short hcs !!! :))) i think yall would be so sailor song coded

pair : gabby williams x gf!reader

warn : nothing !! just fluff, french teaching ( um ty google translate )

note : i love my baby sm so i had to write this

ok so she'll try to teach you french !!

- "ok start with the basics, bonjour comment allez-vous?", Gabby said with her french accent lacing her voice. you tried saying it and pouted when you got it wrong. "its ok baby just try again", she cooed trying to make you feel better.

she would love try new food with you

y'all 'spot' is normally the beach

- y'all first date was a beach picnic

when she went to france to play basketball you were right along with her

she loves spoiling you especially with flowers

back to the trying new food, she loves to encourage you to try french food

- "ok baby this chocolate eclairs", she said handing you one. you took a bite and smiled. "oh my gosh this is good, it looks like a twinkie but nothing like it", you said conparing it to a american snack making her laugh.

she loves when you trace her tattoos

definitely have matching tattoos !!

when she came back seattle she always encouraged you to come to her games

she made you a custom jersey with her number and name.

she always mentions about y'all getting married 24/7

tags : @hrtslaces @hrtsfromjules @ayannatv @kamii-2 @chelisbae @aaliyg

[thatawkwardmoth]

I'm sorry but if you think Logan would be a bad dad or just straight up not care about his children, read the comics or watch X-Men evolution.

Yes, Logan is a brute and he's 'not nice' a lot of the time. But if you think that this man wouldn't raise Laura, Gabby, Jubilee and all his other little shitheads out in a cabin in Canada, far away from people (but close enough for cell service, he gets it Jubilee, please stop yelling in his ear about Instagram), you're dead wrong.

Gabby's room would have built in bookshelves and she'd have a killer treehouse outside, her bedframe would be hand carved wood with pieces meant to withstand her claw for a while. She'd have plushies and posters and whatever she wanted. Logan could go without food for a while just for her to get the things she liked. She could not go without food and neither could the rest of the shitheads. Yes, Laura is her main adult but Logan won't let Gabby have a lackluster childhood.

Laura's room would be covered. With whatever she wanted. Even if she changed her mind and redecorated a thousand times, it's her room. It's not a cell or some blank white room. She's not X-23. She's his girl, the Wolverine. She can have a small gym set up to train and keep her active, 100%. But she'll come to eat when called and won't overdo it, healing factor or not. Or Logan will lock the door and ground her. He keeps the porch light on for her every night, knowing sometimes she just wants to run, to stretch her legs and feel the freedom she has. He'll wait on the porch, beer in hand and offer her some food when she's back. Tell her Gabby's asleep and she's fine, like Laura can't hear her snoring. She's got his attitude and they butt head but he'll always be the first to remind her she's not an experiment. She can put up a hundred dumb posters and read a hundred dumb books that aren't educational, he doesn't care. He'll even listen with minimal grumbling.

Jubilee's room is more adult than her old one is. It's got a jack and jill bathroom that leads to Shogo's little nursery. It's not used very often, but it's got all the updated supplies, for her and the baby. She's got the whole lawn to use her powers and not deal with complaints (unless it's the people inside the house), a hand made playhouse for Shogo when he gets older. She's got it all, whenever she wants to just run away. Whenever she needs a vacation or just to come see him.

Kitty's got one too, it's not changed. She can be the Red Queen to Krakoa, the fearsome Shadowcat to others but she's still got a room at his cabin with pictures upon pictures lining the walls, plush X-Men toys bought with Jubilee to annoy them, little notes from Rachel and Illyana. It's like a piece of the old Shadowcat Logan refuses to let Kitty Kate get rid of. She's got her own bathroom so she stops phasing through the doors and walls of the other ones without knocking and she's got a little balcony for her plants to die on because she never remembers to water them and Logan also forgets even though he tries to remember.

Logan's got a room that he hardly ever uses. He finds the girls in it (and his sons sometimes) in it more than he is. His bed is the communal 'i had a nightmare but we're not talking about it' place. It's the only reason he's got a TV in there. To turn on whatever dumb thing they want to watch, even if he hates it, he'll sit through nine seasons. There are stickers on his dresser (on most things actually, Gabby's personal signature), a giant plush dog bed for Jonathan the Wolverine, multiple pillows he doesn't use but they do. He even made sure to buy a comfortable blanket set even though he doesn't care at all when it comes to himself. He's survived worse but if it brings them comfort, he's going that extra mile.

He's stunted emotionally and sometimes messes up but this cabin, the one he's fixed up and added onto, he knows he did right by them with this. But he refuses to fix the creaky steps or the painted light switches, the chipped tiles or the old decorations that he shoves in the attic. Those are the character the house has, memories he doesn't want to lose like he's lost so many before.

[mayghosts]

OBSESSED: (Kate Martin x Reader)

Summary: You and Caitlin ended your relationship as good friends. However, one of Caits new teammates seems a bit too interested in your last relationship.

Warnings: used Y/N 🫤, alcohol, obsessive crushes

AN: I almost didn't post this but... we will see how long i leave it up for b4 i redo it

Kate always considered herself to be a perfect friend, but lately something has been hanging over head.

From the first time Caitlin had introduced you to the team. Kate knew she was cooked. Her stomache flipping and her face heating up as you smiled and introduced yourself. Cooked. You got along so well with the team, and watching you talk about your hobbies and interests only made Kates butterflies increase tenfold. That night Kate took it upon herself to find your Instagram, as well as your moms Instagram… and most of your extended family.

And if you knew how much I looked at her pictures you would think we’re bestfriends

Two months later Kate felt like she was in some sort of “What Would You Do?” show, listening to Caitlin explain how you two had ended things on good terms. On one side she was sad for her friend. On the other hand she had just swiped off your Tik Tok profile and was just a bit too excited that you were single.

And I know you loved her and I know I’m butthurt But I can’t help it, no, I can’t help it, Im so obsessed with you ex.

Seeing you in the crowd at the next Iowa game was slightly unexpected. You and Caitlin had been broken up for almost two weeks now, maybe you were on better terms than Kate had thought? She pryed her eyes away from you in the stands, attempting to re-focus on the game. Every basket she made that night, she felt her eyes drift up to where you were sitting. Were you watching? Did you see that? Even though Kate had been a top scorer that game, she secretly accredited that Iowa win to you.

I'm starin’ at her like I wanna get hurt, and I remember every single detail you have told me so be careful baby

It was driving Kate crazy, having a crush and not being able to tell her friends. You were driving her crazy. She was at the point that she knew far too much about you, and she probably wouldn’t be able to have a normal conversation with you. In her mind there was no better solution to this than getting drunk and starting a life altering situationship.

However upon entering the bar, she was met with your smiling face. Kate felt herself loosing her sanity as she watched you dance with your friends under the colored lights. She had no idea how long she sat at that bar, just keeping an eye on you. Long enough to get absolutely hammered. She was absolutely obsessed with you.

She's got those hips she's got those lips, the life of every fucking party

The next morning Kates hangover anxiety quickly turned to hangover guilt as she noticed she spent all of late night thirsting over her best friends ex- girlfriend. Not being able to take it anymore she slid off her bed, making her way to Gabbies room.

Gently knocking she pushed the door open, “Gabbie, I need your help. I think I’m fucked.” Looking up from her book Gabbie responded “Kate whats wrong? How drunk did you get last night!?” “No this isn’t drunk me being dumb its sober me, I am going to tell you this but please don’t freak out I know its so bad.” Gabbie stared silently at Kate, “I have the worst crush on y/n… you know.. Caitlins ex?” Silence fell over the room. “Jesus Christ Kate you made it sound like you killed someone…. I mean that's not terrible, like they're on good terms and all that. Y/N is so sweet, and incredibly talented. I know she has said good stuff about you in the past, she thinks your cute.”

“She's talented, she's good with kids, she even speaks kindly about me”

“Hey Cait can we talk?” Kate felt like incinerating herself. Her hands were sweaty as she fiddled with the end of her pony tail. The locker room was empty aside from the two of them and Kate knew it was now or never. Caitlon glanced over, taling in Kates anxious appearance "yea whats up?" Taking a deep breath Kate started, "So... I have a crush, but its someone we both know. It's really shitty of me, but I need to tell you."

[graciesluva]

jealousy, caitlin clark

caitlin clark x vb! reader

in which caitlin has a jealousy problem and let’s it get the best of her.

disclaimer: i don’t play volleyball :) i actually barely know anything about it except from what i’ve collected by watching my sister play so sorry if it’s inaccurate!

Caitlin made it a point to try and make it to all of your games. She rarely missed one unless basketball took her away, which you understood. You tried to make it to all of her games as well and you did most of the time, sitting with her parents if they were in attendance or just with your friends who also showed up.

Once the end of October hit, it was harder, but most of the time it worked out. August through September, you could almost always count on her being in the crowd, normally having Monika and Kate (or any of the girls) in tow.

On this particular night, the team was playing extremely well. You, a libero, had been taken out during the second set after landing on your arm in a painful way when trying to pancake on the floor. You were mad at yourself for it, never really getting hurt when diving or anything, but it was something that was out of your control now.

You were put back in during the third set, after winning the first and second sets. There was a dull pain in your arm as you dove to the ground to save a ball again.

Soon enough, the Hawkeyes took a third win, the game over. You clapped hands with the other team, heading back to the locker room with your team.

Once you’d gotten all of your things pack up, putting a pair of sweatpants, leaving you in your uniform top. You stepped out of the locker room, going to look for Caitlin who had told you she’d be here.

“Hey, 22!” you hear someone call. You share a number with Caitlin, something you both like. Quickly, you turn your head to see a girl from the other team stepping toward you, “You good from that fall earlier?” she asked.

You laugh softly, nodding your head, “All good here. I’m sure I’ll have some bruises.”

The girl nods, looking you up and down a little, pressing her lips together with a smile. Unbeknownst to you, Caitlin, Monika, and Gabbie were walking up after spotting you. Caitlin’s jaw was clenched, watching this girl check you out.

“Caitlin, you should calm down a little,” Monika told her, the three of them stopping far enough away to where you still don’t notice them.

Caitlin furrows her brows, “I’m calm,” she answered.

“You’re staring like you wanna kill someone and I know it won’t be y/n,” Gabbie chimed in.

Sure, Caitlin was a little protective of you. She had a little bit of a jealousy problem, but you couldn’t do anything about that. It’s like she knew when another girl or guy was flirting with you and it set her off real quick. When the girl talking to you gently hit your shoulder when laughing at something that was definitely not that funny, Caitlin almost lost it.

You felt fingers brush your back from behind you, latching onto your waist as they pulled you into their side. Knowing it was Caitlin, you put your hand on the side of her stomach, a smile gracing your features.

“Hi, nice to meet you,” Caitlin said to the girl in front of the two of you who now looks defeated. Caitlin looks a bit smug.

She smiled at Caitlin, “You too,” she said before looking back at you, “Good job tonight.”

“Thanks, you too,” you respond. The girl turns and walks away and Caitlin kisses your head gently.

You looked up at Caitlin, “Was that necessary, baby?” you asked with a smile.

She shrugged with a nod, “She was flirting.”

“She was being nice,” You respond.

Caitlin shakes her head as she presses a kiss to your lips, Monika and Gabbie walking toward the two of you.

Gabbie has a look of relief on her face, “We thought she was going to kill her,” the Marshall girl told you.

You stared up at your girlfriend with wide eyes as she shakes her head again, “They’re lying. I wasn’t going to kill anyone. Just had to make sure she knew you were taken.”

“Goodness, Clark, don’t lose your shit.”

[thankyouforthememoriesworld]

Thank you for all the Gabby/MJ posts. My timeline is flooded with Paige-Azzi to the point I’m almost sick of them 😂 I love how lowkey Gabby and MJ are, do you have a timeline on their relationship?

You're welcome 😊, I love introducing new people to Willannès. They're the introverted French version of Pazzi (if you know some French athletes then you get what I mean).

That's why you shouldn't follow too many accounts or you'll see the same posts 11 times in a row 🤏🏻

Here we go, the Willannès timeline PART ONE:

▪ July 27, 2016: France faced the USA in preparation for the Olympics with Gabby in the stands (baby Jojo played in it). It was this match that made her want to represent France 🇫🇷.

▪ mid-May 2021: Gabby is selected to play the Euro with France and meets the team for the first time. She hit it off with Jojo, Alexia and Iliana but especially Jojo (a journalist asked her how long they'd known each other, given their complicity, and it was a week lol 😏).

Only 2 weeks after meeting, Jojo asked Gabby if she could tattoo her and she told her 'Sure' (the Pac-Man on her thigh, gay idiots).

▪ June, 2021: Willannès being glued to one another during all the friendly games and the Euro.

▪ July 06 - August 08, 2021: Jojo and Gabby became closer and closer as they prepared for and competed in the Tokyo Olympics. Seeing it written is a little crazy because it made me realize that they somehow spent more than 2 months together (no wonder it changed their dynamic).

Gabby's TikTok recap with a tender-eyed Jojo

▪ November 07 to 14, 2021: EuroBasket - Qualifiers

(waiting for Gabby before going into the bus 🥺)

▪ February 03 to 13, 2022: World Cup qualifiers

▪ Early 2022: Stories and rumors are all pointing to them getting together around this time 🥰.

▪ April 2022: Jojo smirking in her Gabby-branded sweater and Gabby's interview about her tattoos.

▪ June 2022: Gabby signed her contract with Asvel for 2 years to be in the same club as Jojo 💖.

[graciegoeskrazy]

if i believe u

matty healy + daughter!r (ft. gabbriette, charli, and george!)

warnings: angsty asf but what did u except, matty says he regresas being a dad, step moms(???), queen gabbriette, shitty matty, lying, yelling, a curse word or two, just general family angst, longest one if written in awhile, george n charli

a/n: first matty daughter r in awhile but 5 SEPERATE PEOPLE ASKED FOR THIS so i had to do it obvi. btw im not hating on gab she’s actually the hero of this story i will not tolerate gabbriette slander only matty slander eheheh. ty to my lovely anons who requested it makes me happy🤭

r is about 13 ish

Your dad said him and Gabby were going out to dinner while you were at your end of the year dance. It was an event for middle schoolers, nothing crazy, but they figured they’d take advantage of a couple hours to themselves by having a romantic dinner out. He said they’d be home well before you ended your night, and to just text when you got home.

“I’m home!”

You were met with no answer. You didn’t think much about it and went to your room, starting to take off your jewelry from the night.

“Hey, dancing queen.” He said, appearing in the doorway.

You smiled at his comment, looking back at him. “How was dinner?” You asked.

He cleared his throat before speaking. “Good…really really good.”

You thought his response was interesting, but didn’t look to much into it, just taking off your heels from the evening.

“Where’s Gabby?” You asked.

“Bedroom. Thought i’d talk to you in private for a second.”

You turned back suddenly. “About what?” He chuckled when your face turned to worry so quickly.

“Nothing bad. Don’t worry. No one is dead.”

You smiled back, crossing your arms. “Then what is it?”

He looked down at his hands, specifically one finger.

He rarely wore new rings, always sticking to the same ones. You quickly noticed he was grazing over a new one.

One that laid on a certain finger.

You already knew your answer, but you asked anyway, “What’s that?”

He showed a coy smile, while examining the ring on his own finger. “An engagement ring.” He said, smiling.

A part of himself couldn’t believe it. You definitely couldn’t believe it either.

“You’re engaged?” You asked, voice quiet.

“Yeah,” He said, with a faded breath. “Yeah honey, I am.”

Your voice became quiet. “To Gabby?”

“Yeah.” His smile wouldn’t go away. He hasn't smiled like that in so long. A part of you wanted to take a picture of it. Another part of you wanted to wipe it off his face.

“Wow.” was all you could say at the moment.

You spoke after a second of silence. “Are you sure about this dad?”

“About what? Marrying the love of my life?”

He started to get defensive right away. “I mean, Dad, I don’t know her.” You let out a short laugh and smile, as if that should’ve been obvious. “Yeah, she’s been nothing but nice but, you haven't been dating for even a year? And now what? She’s gonna move in with us?”

You saw his face turn. “No, we’re moving in with her.” He said quickly.

You couldn’t believe it. And the fact that he said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world made it harder. “Wh-what about London?”

He started to look anywhere but at you. “We’re gonna move to the states, baby.”

He can’t be serious.

You blinked at him, unsure if this was a dream. “So…I get zero say in this?”

He scoffed. “God forbid I try and give you some stability in life- a family.”

Your blood started to boil. “She’s not even old enough to be my mother.”

“Y/n Healy!”

“And what stability? My life has been a faltering mess since you’ve opened your mouth!” Your voice was now at ten, his not far behind.

“Do not talk to me like that young lady.” He stood straighter, in full authoritative dad mode.

“Don’t talk like what? Don’t tell the truth?” His eyebrow quirked. “You know full well the reason people dropped me, or the reason I had to switch friend groups is because of the stupid shit you’ve said.” He sighed, he knew you were right about that one. “Dad, it’s not that you’re getting married, it’s the fact that you didn’t even think to tell me!”

“I thought you would be happy! This is good news!”

“What about this conversation we’re having screams ‘happiness’?” You said while gesturing between the two of you.

“Oh, so you hate Gabby?”

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t hate Gabby- I never said I did!”

“Oh so, you just don’t want me to marry her. You don’t want me to be happy.” He started to get protective, voice full of venom.

“I never said that ethier!” You were growing tired.

“Then what is it?”

You felt that it was painfully obvious, but clearly not. “Dad, my whole life is here. My school, my only friends, my home, and you’re just gonna take that away from me in an instant? Without any warning?” He started getting angry. You kept going.

“You didn’t even think about asking me!”

“I wouldn’t have to think about asking if you weren’t here!”

And there it was. The truth. The thought you’ve been dreading to hear since the moment you found out your existence wasn’t exactly planned. The straw that broke the camels back. The words you knew were always true, but never thought you’d actually hear him say.

Your world went blurry after that. Gabbriette stormed in, yelling “Matty!”, and shielding you from your father and any other personal or verbal attacks he might make, but the truth was that he recognized his mistake right after he said it.

He promised himself, right after you were born, he would never make you feel like a mistake. A burden. He wouldn’t be one of those dads. But here he was, frozen. Standing in front of his fiancé while she hold his baby girl, sobbing, because of his words. Because he made her feel that way.

You cried into her. She held you close. Your father slowly became aware of his mistakes and what he had done. Gabbriette looked at him, still holding on tight to you. “Get out.”

He swallowed. “I didn’t mean-“

“Get out Matthew.” She said sharply.

He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

It felt like the weight of the world came crashing down on your shoulders. The truth, finally free, so heavy that you couldn’t keep up anymore, you came falling down with it.

Gabby knew he didn’t entirely mean it. But, her focus was on the task at hand. And that was getting you back to feeling safe. You sobbed and sobbed into her, the cries getting more violent over time. “It’s alright, i’ve got you.” She brought you to the bed, soothing you and kissing your head gently. “I’m right here.”

—————

Matty woke up the next morning with a raging headache. He turned to find his fiancé’s side of the bed empty and cold. He sighed.

The knocks wouldn’t stop. He begrudgingly leapt out of bed and to the front door. When he opened the door he was met with Charli and George, standing side by side. Both still in lounge clothes but Charli wide awake, compared to George who looked half asleep.

“What did you do to your daughter now?” She asked, crossing her hands over her chest, voice full of power.

Matty tried rubbing his eyes awake, but it was no use. “What?” he asked, voice full of sleep.

Charli ignored him and flew past him through the house. “You think my kid was really capable of keeping her mouth shut? Baby?! Auntie Charli is here!!!”

George, still in his sleepy state, met his friend, closing the door behind him. “What did you do man?”

Matty sighed, putting his hands over his eyes to block out the peaks of sun coming in as he made his way to the living room. “I messed up.”

George rolled his eyes, “Well clearly because Charli wouldn’t wake me at 7am if it wasn’t important.”

Matty groaned and leaned back. “How did she even know?”

George shrugged, “Your girl must’ve texted ours.” Matty hummed. “She swore to y/n she wouldn’t tell us, but she was worried about what you said to her. Came crying to us this morning.”

George patted him on the shoulder and started to leave the room. “I’m making coffee. Go put pants on and then tell me what happened.”

—————

earlier that morningr - 4am

You only left your bed once after the fight and it was only to change out of your dress from the dance and into pjs Gabbriette gathered for you after much convincing that you’d be more comfortable.

She brushed your hair back and into a ponytail. When she tried to leave after you finally settled, you begged her in your sleepy state to stay.

So she did.

Come 4 am, you were wide awake. Unable to get your fathers words out of your mind. “Are you awake?” You said.

“Yeah.” She said.

It took you a second but she spoke. “I’m sorry, Gabby.”

She opens her eyes and turned to face you, grabbing your face softly with one hand in the process. “You have nothing to apologize for, y/n-”

You started crying at the gesture. “I don’t hate you! I swear I don’t! He’s lying-“

She shushed you. “I know you don’t, sweet girl. He’s just trying to get in your head after everything.”

You slowly nodded and she sighed. “You need to know that you did nothing wrong. Ever.”

Your cries turned to sniffles. “Yes I did.”

“What did you do?”

“I existed?”

She knew this is how you really felt, and it hurt her so much to realize that the person who was supposed to be the love of her life did this to his own daughter. He made you feel this way. Nothing or no one else. “Honey, that’s not true.”

“Yes it is. He said it!”

“Well what he said was wrong.” She said frim, yet caring. “No doubt about it.”

The sniffles slowly softened even more over time. After a minute or two in comfortable silence, you spoke. “I hope you still love him though.”

She laughed, not expecting your honest remark. “Unfortunately, I still do. With all my heart.” She didn’t miss the smile that danced on your lips. “Go back to sleep. I don’t need him clouding your thoughts when you’re trying to get your beauty rest.”

You closed your eyes, snuggling closer to her, hand quickly grazing over hers in the process. “Damn girl, that’s a big fucking rock.” You said.

She laughed and smiled.

—————

She explained everything to Chali when she woke them up the next morning. You hid in the bed, crying. You had thought so but she did confirm that she was eavesdropping the entire time. You didn’t mind though. She had your back and that was all that matters.

—————

Matty sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the framed picture he held in his hands. Your bright, innocent smile seemed to mock him, reminding him of the days when you would run into his arms after school, eager to share every detail of your day, no matter how mundane it was.

He thought about how you stood by him, through it all. It didn’t matter if it was family issues, band drama, or even his drug addiction. He loved the fact he didn’t have to pretend to be someone for you, not a rockstar, a perfect son or friend, just Dad, your Dad. And for a very very very long time, that was all you needed.

The house felt colder, quieter. He took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair, and stood up.

It was time. Gabbriette had left for some errands earlier that morning, making a point to look your father dead in the eyes and telling him to ‘man up and do it.’ Truthfully, he couldn’t let another day pass without trying to bridge the gap between the two of you. With determined steps, he walked down the hallway to your room. He knocked gently on the door, the sound echoing louder than he anticipated in the silent house. “Baby? Can we talk?” he called, his voice wavering slightly. No response. He knocked again, a little louder this time.

“Baby girl, please. I just want to talk.”

Still nothing. He sighed, leaning his forehead against the door. “I’m coming in,” he said softly, turning the knob and pushing the door open.

You were sitting at your desk, your back to him, headphones on, absorbed in a sketchpad. Your long curly hair, nearly identical to the ones Matty used to embrace, cascaded down your back, slightly hiding your face from him. He took a step inside, the creak of the floorboard announcing his presence.

“Y/n?” he tried again, his voice barely above a whisper.

You didn’t turn around. He could see your shoulders tense, though, and he knew you heard him. Guilt twisted in his stomach, but he pressed on.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. For everything.”

There was a flicker of movement; you paused your drawing but didn’t remove your headphones. Matty felt a pang of desperation.

“I know I’ve made mistakes. Big ones. And I know I’ve hurt you,” he continued, his voice cracking. “I was so caught up in my own problems that I didn’t see how it was affecting you. And for that, I’m truly sorry.”

He watched as your hand gripped the pencil tighter. It was a small reaction, but it was something. He took another step closer, now standing just a few feet behind you.

“I miss you,” he said, his voice barely audible. “I miss our talks, our laughs. I miss my daughter.”

Slowly, you reached up and removed your headphones, placing them carefully on the desk. You didn’t turn to face him, but your silence spoke volumes. Matty took it as an invitation to continue.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me right away. Or even talk to me. I just… I just needed you to know how sorry I am.”

There was a long pause. Matty felt the weight of the silence pressing down on him, each second stretching into an eternity. He opened his mouth to say something else but then closed it, unsure of what more he could add.

Finally, you spoke, voice barely a whisper. “You can’t just say sorry and expect everything to be okay.”

Your words, though quiet, felt like a punch to his gut. He nodded, though you couldn’t see him. “I know,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I know.”

“It’s not that simple, Dad,” Your voice broke slightly. “You hurt me. A lot.”

He felt tears welling up in his eyes. “I know I did. And I hate myself for it. But I love you, darling. More than anything in the world. You know that.”

You finally turned around, eyes red and filled with tears. You looked at him for a long moment, searching his face for something—truth, perhaps, or sincerity. Your dad held his breath, afraid to move, afraid to break whatever fragile connection you had in that moment.

“You said you regret having me,” you said, voice trembling. “That you wished I wasn’t here- How do you expect me to forgive that?”

His heart shattered at your words. He knelt down beside your chair, looking up at you. “Darling, I was wrong. I was so wrong. I was overwhelmed and stressed, and I lashed out in the worst possible way. I didn’t mean it. Not for a second.”

You looked up, blinking away the tears streaming down your face. “But you said it. You can’t just take it back.”

“I know,” he said, voice breaking. “I know I can’t. But please believe me when I say I didn’t mean it. I love you more than anything in this world. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

You wiped your eyes with the back of your hand. “It doesn’t feel like it.”

Matty felt desperation clawing at him. “I’ve been a terrible father, y/n. I let my own problems cloud my judgment. But I want to change. I need to change. For you. For us. That’s why maybe this whole engagement thing isn’t a bad idea?”

You sniffled again, giving a serious look, “I don’t hate Gabby.”

He sighed, “I know you don’t-“

“You really hurt me, Dad.” Your eyes were filled with pain and tears.

He nodded, tears streaming down his face. “I know, sweetheart. And I’m so, so sorry. I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right. Just… please give me a chance.”

You looked down at your work, fingers tracing the lines you’d drawn. Matty watched you, his heart aching for a sign of hope.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you,” you said softly. “Not yet.”

Matty nodded, his heart heavy. “I understand,” he said gently. “I’m not asking you to. I just want you to know that I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.”

You looked at him, eyes searching his face. “Do you really mean it?” you asked, voice small. “That you’re sorry?”

Matty met your gaze, his eyes filled with tears, and smiled. “With all my heart,” he said. “I’m so, so sorry, my love.”

You held his gaze for a long moment, then nodded, a single tear sliding down your cheek. “Okay,” you whispered. “We’ll see.”

Matty smiled through his tears, a small, hopeful smile. It was a start, a glimmer of hope in the darkness. And for now, that was enough.

[girl4music]

“But I can tell you this, Xena… you’re the only constant in my life, and unless you know something I don’t, I’m not going anywhere. So I’m going to say the most selfish thing I’ve ever said to you: that baby’s my baby too, and I deserve a chance to fight for it as much as you.”

- Gabrielle, ‘Them Bones, Them Bones’ (Original script dialogue.)

They knew what they were doing with this scene. Especially the way Xena AND Gabrielle’s heads turn back to the baby at exactly the same time as if they were both proud of making that little bundle of joy between their arms. Also notice how Gabrielle only steps away after a glance towards Xena and Eve, clearly assessing that they both need to be alone while she responds to Hercules' request. As if to say "You stay here, I'll take care of business."

Dialogue is rarely ever needed between these two because the body language communicates so much in small intimate scenes like this. Both the mark of great acting and great chemistry between the actresses. I've always said that it's the quiet moments that truly reveal the depth of the loving relationship between Xena and Gabrielle. Whether you see it in a romantic way or not, you cannot deny that it is not filled with unconditional love. Especially where Gabrielle is concerned.

In fact...

I'm reminded of what Ares says in the ice cave in confession to what he believes to be a dead Xena about the dichotomy between his love for Xena and Gabrielle's love for Xena.

"You're with her now. I handled you all wrong. I know that. She knew what you needed - unconditional and unselfish love - and I couldn't give that to you. But I appreciated you in ways she never could. Your rage, your violence, your beauty. When you sacrificed yourself for others, you were hers. But when you kicked ass, you were mine. I love you, Xena."

- Ares, ‘Looking Death In The Eye’.

And I back up what I say in my character study thesis. The reason why Gabrielle won Xena's affection every time wasn't just because she was good at that moment. It's because she was given a CHOICE to be good in EVERY moment. Ares never offered her that choice. It was always "be mine, or die". Gabrielle always did - she would just take herself out of the picture if Xena chose evil or stand against her.

Such a striking difference is often not spoken about in this love triangle the writers obviously intended between Xena, Gabrielle and Ares. It says that the show never really went one way or the other on the romance not just because it couldn't... But because it didn't have to. There was importance in keeping the romance balanced although many wouldn't admit to it and would rather just complain about it instead. As for me, I think it's one of the most groundbreaking things about it. Rob was definetly right about keeping it this way and I back him up on it 100%. We knew that Gabrielle had Xena's heart. However, the conflict in Xena's heart would always remain because Ares would always be around to remind her of her former life. And in so doing this, we learn that Xena could never be definitively one way or the other either. This is what made her character so damn dynamic. And why it was leagues ahead of its time in queer representation. Even today, a bisexual narrative like this is never done. Or rather - it’s done but it’s never written this well. It’s never connected to the major narratives and themes. And that’s because the queer characters are never the major characters. They’re never the actual narrative. Instead, the queer characters have to wrap around it. And that’s the wrong way of going about doing this.

I don’t care what anyone says.

Gabby was the daddy.

Or the other mother, if you prefer. Although, I would definetly say Gabrielle’s role was typically that of a father. I don’t like gender norms, roles and stereotypes either but that doesn’t mean those are off-limits to a woman.

I’ve said before that the fact Gabrielle was depicted as doing the “typical father” role means the writers were abolishing the belief that only a man can do it and therefore using gender norms, roles and stereotypes as a way to promote equality and solidarity.

If you have a problem with me calling Gabrielle the “father” of Eve, you have to understand I am speaking from the point of view they would have in their time. There was no such thing as a same-sex couple in Ancient Greece in the sense that they could marry and have children without the participation of a male figure. Of course gay couples would exist but would not be socially accepted. Hell, it wasn’t even socially accepted a decade ago. What makes you think it was then? So me referring to Gabrielle as that male figure in Eve’s life should be seen as a compliment, not an insult. I’m saying she had the capability to fill that role and she wasn’t even a man. Just like how Xena could fill the role of a warlord and she wasn’t a man. Can’t you see that I am giving them respect as people who can take on both the feminine and masculine side of situations? Xena and Gabrielle were human anomalies and that’s bloody awesome as far as I’m concerned. I wish more shows today had that kind of gender roles representation with their characters. Sadly, they don’t.

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 27

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo X OFC

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives. 

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Warnings: Discussions about intimate partner violence, suicidal ideation, mental health struggles, drug abuse, and alcohol abuse.

Chapter Quote: "I got to snuggle some baby goats."

It took everything in me to hold back the sob that threatened to escape the instant I heard Dieter’s voice. I momentarily placed my hand over my mouth to hold it in and compose myself. I let out a shaky breath as I tried to find my voice. 

“Dieter?” 

I could hear his stuttered breathing on the other end of the line. He sounded like he was battling with his emotions too. 

He cleared his throat, “Yeah… it’s me.”

I sighed loudly into the phone as the tears started to slide down my face. I felt like my brain had completely shut down on me, unsure of what to say but also feeling the urge to say everything all at once. It was so overwhelming but also awkward since we had not talked in so long. There were still so many things up in the air between us. 

“How’ve you been?” He asked, sounding unsure of himself. I felt like he didn’t know what to say either. 

I sniffed loudly as I wiped at my face, “Umm, I’ve been ok. How are you feeling?” 

“I’m feeling good. Normal, I think…then again…I’m not sure I really know what normal is,” we both laughed nervously.

“I’m feeling better than I have in a long time. I can confidently say that at least,” he added. 

I smiled. It was nice to know that he was feeling better. It helped dampen some of the worry I had been feeling. 

“How are things going, otherwise?”

“Well, I got to snuggle some baby goats during group therapy this morning. I kinda want one now.”  He sounded unabashed about this revelation. 

“Of course you do,” I said in response, shaking my head and chuckling at the thought. 

“I gotta new roommate two weeks ago…Gordon is his name. He’s an interesting guy…he uhhh…” he stifled a laugh before continuing. “He said he came here because the wall outlets were talking to him. Like, full conversations. They finally stopped after he got his meds sorted out. Made me feel a little better about my issues.”

I was a little dumbfounded, “Ummm, I’m not sure if I should laugh about that or not…” Dieter snickered, “He jokes about it now, so I think it’s ok.” 

It felt good to hear him laughing again. I had missed that sound more than I realized. I really missed his voice in general. He sounded different. Better, lighter almost. It was a sound I wanted to commit to memory. 

“Umm…so Gabby said you didn’t take that job offer?” His nervousness had returned with that question. 

“No, I turned it down.” I started rubbing at my shoulder with my free hand as I moved to sit down at the kitchen table. 

“Why? It sounded like an amazing opportunity”

I sighed, now rubbing at the crease between my brows, “It was, but it’s not where I wanted to be or what I wanted to do. I would’ve had to give up too much and I don’t feel like I’m in the right headspace to do that.”

“I hope it wasn’t because of me…”

“No. I mean, I guess I can’t say no. You’re part of it…but my life is here. I can’t leave Lauren or even Gabby and Alex at this point. We’ve all gotten so close. And like I said, I’m not in the right headspace for that. I would’ve been spending a lotta time alone and I don’t wanna do that right now. It just wasn’t where I felt like I should be. I didn’t feel any kind of excitement over it at all, so I turned it down”

I suddenly felt vulnerable revealing that to him, questioning if I should have. I didn’t want him to worry about me when he needed to be focusing on himself. 

“Are you sure you’re doing ok?” He asked quietly. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me, I promise. I’m just…I-” I huffed, shaking my head. I wasn’t sure if it was ok to finish that thought. I didn’t want to make any assumptions about how he was feeling or make an ass of myself. 

I heard him chuckle quietly over my flustered response, “I miss you too.” 

I was instantly calmed by his words, my anxiety about where we stood easing some. I let out a shy laugh at his declaration, tears still running down my face as I sniffled out, “You do?”

“Of course, I do, so fucking much… I - I’m sorry I haven't called you. I wanted to make sure I had a clear head when I did, and then I didn’t really know what to say after everything that happened.”

I heard him inhale sharply before he spoke up again, there was a tapping noise, like he was drumming his fingers against something.

“Listen, I’ve only got a few minutes left before they cut me off for today, but the reason I called…” 

He paused, clearing his throat nervously, “Umm, so I wanted to see if you would be willing to come here and do a session with my psychiatrist and me…”

“Of course, when?”

“Whenever you can. Just uhh, call my case worker and she’ll get it scheduled.” 

I could hear him shuffle around before he started cursing under his breath. 

“Well, I was gonna give you the number but now I can’t find it...Gabby should have it.” 

I couldn’t help but to snigger at him. He was still a little bit of a hot mess, which I loved about him. 

He followed up with an exasperated “sorry” about not being able to find the number before he let out a quiet laugh at himself. It felt like part of it was his nervousness too. 

“I’ll text her to get it as soon as we hang up and I’ll call immediately.” 

I could hear him sigh in relief before a beeping noise broke into our conversation with an automated message giving a one minute warning. 

“I’ll be there tomorrow if they’ll let me…or at least as soon as they’ll let me,” I said in a rush. Suddenly feeling the pressure of our limited time. I still felt like I had so many things to say to him. 

“I would like that. I…I really can’t wait to see you…” 

His words trailed off, shaking slightly as he was hit with another wave of emotions. 

“I can’t wait to see you either,” I replied with a quivering voice. 

After a moment of silence, there was a clicking sound as the line disconnected. I held the phone against my forehead, trying to get my breathing back to normal. Once I was able to focus my thoughts, I sent a quick text to Gabby to let her know that Dieter had called and that I needed the number for his case worker. I half expected her to call me, but thankfully she didn’t. She replied back quickly with the number and that she was happy he finally reached out. She followed that message up with another asking me if I was ok and if I needed to talk about it. I appreciated her offer, but I was good for now and let her know as much. Once I finished texting with Gabby, I dialed the number for the case worker, suddenly feeling nervousness forming in the pit of my stomach. 

“Sanctuary Hills, this is Sharon,” the polite, yet comforting voice answered.

“Hi Sharon, this is Natalia Cohen…” She cut in before I could continue. 

“Oh, Talia, hi. I’ve been expecting your call. Dieter told me he was going to be calling you.” 

I let out a nervous laugh, slightly taken aback by the familiarity in which she said my name. It made me wonder how much he had talked about me. 

“I assume you’re calling about an appointment for a family session?” 

I didn’t know why, but it stirred something in me when she called it a family session. Technically, I wasn’t his family, but they were treating me as if I were. I could feel the tears prickling at my eyes again as I exhaled out a breathy “yes” in response.

“That’s wonderful news, I know he’ll be overjoyed to see you.” I could hear the smile in her voice

“I can’t wait to see him either,” I replied, still trying to keep the emotions out of my words.

“Alright, let me have a look at the schedule. Dr. Rosenberg did ask that you be prepared to be available for at least a week for additional sessions, if possible.” 

“Additional sessions?” I was confused. I couldn’t recall if the same thing had been asked of Gabby, which caused my anxiety to flare.  

“Don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal for that to happen. It’s mostly educational sessions for family members if they’re willing to participate.”

“Oh, ok. That doesn’t sound so bad.” I laughed nervously. 

“When would you like to come in?” she asked with a calming tone.

“As soon as you can get me in is preferable.” I started tapping on the table as I waited for options, listening to the clicking of a keyboard on her end. 

“How about 10 AM the day after tomorrow?” 

“I’ll take it,” I said a little too eagerly. The anticipation of seeing Dieter again was starting to get to me. 

“I have it scheduled. In case you do end up staying for additional sessions, we have apartments on site for patient families. So, you won’t have to worry about lodging. We don’t want you stressing about that while you’re here.”

“Oh, that’s…nice. Thanks for letting me know.”

“When you arrive for your session, come in the north entrance with the blue awning and they'll get you checked in. It’s a different entrance than where you would have come in before.”  

I thanked her and our conversation ended soon after that. Afterwards, I sat staring out the kitchen window, feeling the anxiousness settle into my gut. Not knowing what to expect was always the worst for me. It was like that call had started a countdown, to what, I wasn’t sure. I could only hope the end result would be something positive. 

The morning of our session, I had a ridiculously early flight so that I could be there in time. I decided to keep things simple with minimal makeup, a messy bun, sunglasses, sneakers, skinny jeans, and one of Dieter’s button up dress shirts with the sleeves rolled up. I had raided his closet while I was at his house cleaning up. It was something small, but being wrapped in his scent or wearing something that belonged to him brought me some comfort during my time without him. His clothing quickly became a staple in my casual attire. 

I was so anxious about seeing Dieter again that the flight didn’t faze me like it normally would have. Though it was an hour and a half, it seemed much quicker as the minutes continued to count down and the distance between us shortened. I could feel myself getting more worked up the closer I got. By the time I acquired the rental car and was on the road to the facility, my chest was heavy. Breathing was getting harder with each mile that passed. 

When I pulled into the parking lot, I could feel my heart pounding in my ears. I sat gripping the steering wheel tightly in both hands and taking deep breaths. I wasn’t even sure why I was so nervous, it’s not like I knew what Dieter was planning to talk to me about. However, deep down I had a fear, though most likely irrational, that he was going to realize he didn’t really want to be with me after this. I wasn’t sure if I could handle that a second time if it were to happen. Without permission, the tears started to streak down my cheeks, and I felt like I was going to be sick. 

After a few more deep breaths, I slammed my fist down on the stop of the steering wheel out of frustration, “Fucking hell, get it together Talia.”  

My head dropped back onto the headrest as I squeezed my eyes shut, still taking deep controlled breaths. After several minutes passed, I let out a slow exhale before opening my eyes. Feeling more relaxed, I did a quick check in the mirror to make sure I didn’t look like a complete mess before exiting the vehicle to go inside. 

I was starting to have an out of body feeling as I went through the check in process. I couldn’t really remember walking to the building or anything the lady behind the desk had just said to me as I sat down in the lobby to wait. After a few minutes, one of the receptionists called my name and led me through a secure door down a long hallway. We passed several offices that had glass inserts in the doors with shades. Most of the shades were pulled closed, however, I noticed one was open. As I approached, I glanced inside and was met with a familiar figure sitting in a high backed desk chair in the middle of the room with his head leaned back and eyes closed as he spun back and forth, his legs bouncing ever so often. He was sitting on the opposite side of a desk from a woman who was possibly in her fifties, with graying hair and a kind face. Though, she did have a slightly overwhelmed look about her as her eyes met mine through the glass. 

I stopped briefly, watching him wave his hands animatedly as he talked incessantly, never raising his head or opening his eyes. I felt a small smirk sneak across my face. He was nervous too. I could tell. My eyes flicked back to the woman, who was watching me watch him with a soft smile on her face. 

My attention was pulled away by the receptionist, who was now at my side waiting for me to continue following her. 

“He’s been driving us all crazy this morning. I think poor Sharon is getting the worst of it. He’s beyond excited that you’re here today.” 

I chuckled at the thought before continuing down the hallway. I was led into a spacious office. It was modern and white with floor to ceiling windows on one side with nothing in sight but nature. All the furnishings were earth tones of brown and deep reds and oranges. I noticed there were a lot of plants filling the space, which added a homey feeling, in a strange sort of way. It also struck me how there were different seating areas on either side of the room. One had a small couch and cushy chair positioned in front of it, while the other had four cushy chairs sitting closely together in a circle. Each of the seats were adorned with soft looking pillows in various shades matching the space. There was a traditional desk setup in the center of the room with two chairs placed in front of it. Each area felt carefully designed to meet specific needs.   

Moments after entering the room, I was greeted by Dr. Rosenberg who first shook my hand, then pulled me in for a loose hug. 

“Talia, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you the last couple of months.” 

It took me by surprise, though I felt like it shouldn’t have. There was a certain familiarity and kindness that everyone seemed to have toward me. Everyone had been very warm and welcoming thus far. It was comforting to know this was the type of environment that Dieter had been in. 

I gave her a tight lipped smile as she led me over to sit in one of the four chairs in a circle. To my surprise, the chair spun slightly as I sat in it. Dr. Rosenberg turned hers to face me directly, so I did the same with mine. I had managed to stay composed thus far, but my nervousness was starting to show as I reached up and rubbed at my shoulder. The psychiatrist was silent for a moment as she watched my movements. I stopped, sat up straight and placed both hands on top of my crossed legs to keep from fidgeting. 

I’m not sure why, but I felt the need to appear like I had my shit together. I took a minute to study her as she gave me a soft smile while she continued to get settled, grabbing a notepad, file folder, pen, and glasses from the small table next to her seat. She was probably in her early fifties, maybe late forties. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, and she was dressed in business casual attire. I could tell she wanted to appear professional, but not uninviting. She was also definitely looking at my body language very closely, which was making me feel antsy. My therapist used to do that, and I hated it. I mentally smacked myself over my thoughts. I was already putting up walls and we hadn’t even started talking yet. 

“Well, it’s been an exciting morning around here. Dieter is definitely happy you’re here. He was asked to leave his group session this morning because he couldn't focus. He’s been bugging poor Sharon ever since.” She laughed and smiled affectionately at her words.

She was trying to get me to relax. I knew that I looked too tense. I let out a breathy laugh as I sat back further in the seat, trying to appear less uptight, but I didn't think it was working. She gave me a sympathetic look suddenly, “You’re nervous to see him.” 

It wasn’t a question. Looking down at my hands, I chuckled to myself briefly before clearing my throat to speak, “Yeah, I guess I am. I just…don’t know what to expect.”

“That’s a perfectly normal feeling. It’s not unusual for family members to worry if their loved one is going to be different after treatment. Is that some of what you’re feeling?”

Her question took me by surprise, “Ummm, maybe. Sort of...maybe not so much about him being different…more about him feeling differently.” 

She nodded, “I understand. I can’t say that he won’t be different. His personality may present differently, more calm, less emotional or moody. He will feel differently in that he won’t be cycling from one extreme to the other, emotionally. As far as how he feels ABOUT things, that isn’t going to change just because he’s stabilized. Does that make sense?” 

I gave a tight nod, “Yeah, it does.” It didn’t do anything to ease my anxiety though because I still didn’t know how he really felt about us. She eyed me for a second before continuing.

“So, I’ll fill you in on my plan for today. First, you and I are going to chat about Dieter’s diagnosis. Once we’re done, I’m going to bring him in for the session. After that, you and I will have a follow-up meeting to discuss the path forward. Does that sound ok to you?”   

“Yeah, that’s fine.” I started to chew on my bottom lip while she flipped through the file in her hand.

“Great. Just so you’re aware, Dieter signed release forms for you to have access to his medical and treatment information. Nothing is off the table, so if you have questions, ask. He made it clear to me that he wants you to know everything and wants you involved as much as you want to be.”

I paused briefly, shocked by that information. I exhaled the breath I didn’t realize I was holding, “Ok...I wasn’t expecting that.” 

She smiled before continuing, “Alright, let’s get to it then?” She raised her brows at me, asking permission to proceed. I motioned with my hand to continue.  

“So, he’s been formally diagnosed with mixed episode Bipolar I Disorder (BD). In simple terms, bipolar disorder is when someone experiences extreme behavioral or mood changes. The extreme highs are called manic episodes, and lows are episodes of depression. Most people with BD go through highs and lows over an extended period of time. Someone with mixed episodes, like Dieter has, tend to experience both highs and lows simultaneously or in a rapid sequence with no recovery time.”

She paused, giving me a minute to digest her words. I couldn’t say I was surprised by the diagnosis, it actually made a lot of his behavior make sense. When I didn’t speak up, she continued. 

“I think what happened with Dieter…he was put on a lot of medication. Antidepressants in particular can be very tricky for someone with BD. It can cause an increased risk of mood destabilization when the antidepressants are not taken with a mood stabilizer. He was on pretty much everything but a mood stabilizer. You add that in with not sleeping, not eating, drinking, anxiety, and episode triggers…it’s a recipe for disaster. Sometimes being improperly medicated like that can trigger suicidal ideation and even psychosis. Honestly, he was fighting a losing battle.”

I leaned forward in my seat, placing my elbows on my knees while I rubbed at my face. I felt anger bubbling in my chest. 

“Why didn’t his therapists or doctors catch what was happening?”

“One reason…lack of experience. BD is also incredibly hard to diagnose because it shares symptoms with so many other more common disorders like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and ADHD, which is what he was being treated for. That’s not to say he doesn’t have those things as well, but if he does, we need to take a different treatment approach.” 

I sighed, shaking my head in disbelief. “Wow, that actually kind of blows my mind.” 

“I know… and I’m surprised that no one thought to look into it, given his family history. It can be hereditary, and BD does have a high suicide rate. Given what happened with his mother, it should’ve been considered. Also, the fact that he experienced trauma in dealing with that incident...trauma often causes the onset of symptoms.” 

I sighed heavily as the tears started to pool in my eyes, “This actually…kind of pisses me off that he had to go through all of this needlessly. He fucking hated taking that stuff because of the way it made him feel.”  

“That brings me to my next topic...It's been hard to get a baseline with him. I feel like a lot of the things he was experiencing were side effects from all the medications he was on. I can’t really rely on his history before he started the medication because he was using recreational and prescription drugs and drinking heavily to self medicate, which could have been making things worse for him during that time as well.” She paused briefly to gauge my reaction, “I assume you knew about his past substance abuse issues?”

“Yeah, he’s mentioned it…What does all that mean?”

“Well, it’s hard to know exactly what his actual symptoms are right now. So, to start, I’m doing the bare minimum. I’ve started him out on a low dose mood stabilizer called divalproex sodium. It’s actually…an anticonvulsant that’s normally used to treat seizures rather than a typical mood stabilizer like lithium.”

I drew my brows down together in confusion, “Why a seizure medication?” 

“That medication increases the amount of a chemical called gamma-aminobutyric acid in the brain. It works to block certain transmissions across the nerves in the brain and creates sort of an overall calming effect. That particular medication often works best for patients that have mixed or rapid cycling episodes. Lithium typically doesn’t get the job done in those instances. He seems to be doing well on it so far. We’ll give it a few more months to make sure everything else is out of his system and reevaluate.”    

“So, he went from taking half the pharmacy…to one thing?” 

“He did. He seems pretty set on limiting the medications as much as possible. He’s been spending a lot of his time doing cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal and social rhythm therapy, and psychoeducation to help him manage his symptoms and learn about triggers and that sort of thing. He’s been very invested in it, and it seems to be helping.”

I sighed, starting to feel overwhelmed, “I don’t know what all of that is. I mean, I know cognitive behavioral therapy but…” I shook my head in confusion. 

“No worries, if you decide to continue with the family education sessions you’ll learn about that stuff. I know it’s a lot to take in...”

“Yeah, it is, but I’m happy that he’s hopefully on the right track now.” I took a couple of deep breaths to try and relax some as I continued to process things. 

“One last thing before I bring Dieter in...I know you two were no longer together before his hospitalization and you haven’t really had a chance to work things out. His preference is to stay with you when he leaves treatment. I do want to be able to manage his expectations if that isn’t going to be the case. I don’t want you to feel like you have to allow that if you aren’t ready to take all this on. I want you to know that you can say no.”

I was taken aback at her directness, but also appreciated it. I actually felt like I was warming up to her some and feeling more comfortable with opening up to her. I didn’t hesitate with my response, if anything, I said it with conviction, looking directly into her eyes as I spoke. 

“There’s no question in my mind about him coming home with me so long as he wants to. I’ve known from the start that he was struggling with his mental health, and I promised to support him through it. A new diagnosis doesn’t change anything for me. I’m all in for this.”

Dr. Rosenberg gave me a warm smile, clearly satisfied with my response. “Now I see why he says you can be a force to be reckoned with.”

My eyebrows shot up at her words as she again took me by surprise, “Dieter said that?” I chuckled at the thought as I leaned back in my seat, surprised that was the wording he chose. 

“He’s said a lot of things about you, all positive, of course.” She laughed quietly to herself as she set her glasses on the table. As she stood, she announced she was going to go get him for our joint sessions. 

After Dr. Rosenberg disappeared out the door, I could feel my anxiety returning. My chest was starting to tighten again as my heart beat a mile a minute. Instinctively, my right hand moved to rub at my shoulder. Was he going to be upset about how easily I gave up on us? I didn’t know how he couldn’t be. It didn’t sound like he was planning to end things for good even though that thought kept crossing my mind. It was clearly my pessimism and self-doubt seeping in. The thought of being completely open and vulnerable in this setting was making things worse too. I wasn’t a fan of having an audience, but I needed to get over that and not build up my walls right now. I propped my arm on the rest of the chair and started to rub at my forehead as my leg began to bounce. I couldn’t make myself stop the fidgeting no matter how hard I tried. 

After several minutes passed, Dr. Rosenberg returned with Dieter following behind her. His head was down, clenching and unclenching his hands as he walked. As he approached me, he finally looked my way through his lashes. He gave me a small smile that widened as his eyes dropped down to my shirt, obviously noticing I was wearing one of his. I gave him a shy smile in return. He sat down in the chair directly in front of me as Dr. Rosenberg returned to her earlier spot. 

It was clear he was nervous by the way he couldn’t keep his hands still and how the heel of his croc kept bouncing off the tiled floor. He would only occasionally glance in my direction as we waited for Dr. Rosenberg to get settled again. I took the opportunity to study his appearance. He looked so much better compared to the last time I had seen him. His light gray t-shirt was no longer loose looking around his fit torso. His pale skin had been replaced with a golden tan. His hair was longer and as wild as ever, framing his scruffy and patchy beard. His chocolate brown eyes looked clearer than I had ever seen them and were filled with nervousness and anticipation. 

Once Dr. Rosenberg was ready to start, she filled Dieter in on what she had discussed with me about his diagnosis. She then encouraged him to take the lead going forward and discuss the things he wanted to speak with me about. He rubbed his hands together nervously, briefly chewing on his bottom lip before he met my gaze to speak. 

“So, you’re…ok with that diagnosis?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. I wasn’t sure what he meant and gave him a confused look. “Like, it doesn’t freak you out or anything? I know it’s a lot to deal with.” 

“Dieter, the diagnosis doesn’t change anything. You’re still you. Why would it bother me?”

“I dunno, I’m just afraid that at some point you’re gonna realize how big of a mess I am and run away from it all,” he said sheepishly. 

I chuckled, leaning forward in the seat with a teasing smile, “I realized how big of a mess you were a long time ago.”  He scratched at his chin as a smirk formed on his lips.

“Besides, I’m pretty sure I’ve already seen the worst of it and I’m still here. My feelings for you haven’t changed. You don’t have to worry about that from me.”

His eyes turned glassy at my words as he pinched his brows together, looking downward at his hands in his lap. 

“I don’t deserve you, not after the way I treated you…the things I said. I was such an asshole to you.”

I bit at my bottom lip, shaking my head before speaking, “None of that matters to me. I know you weren’t completely yourself when you said those things.”

“No, I wasn’t but I still knew what I was doing and saying. I apparently tend to self-sabotage things. Some of the things I said, using your past against you, I knew it would hurt you. I wanted the words to hurt so you would let me go. I knew you wouldn’t otherwise.”

“Why though? I don’t understand why you felt the need to end things to begin with. Why was I a burden to you?”

His eyes widened at my question, brows shooting upward as he shook his head from side to side, “No, no you weren’t the burden…I was. I’m sorry I made you think that. I know the night I called, I wasn’t making a lot of sense. I…I hadn’t slept in days, and I was such a fucking mess.”

He licked his bottom lip and chewed at it for a second before continuing, “I could see how you were having to completely change everything about your life to accommodate me and my work just for us to be together. I knew it was eventually gonna be a problem and cause you stress because it was affecting your job. I didn’t wanna ruin your life that way. You shouldn’t have to cater your life to mine, it’s not fair. I love you too much to do that to you.”    

“Dieter, it wasn’t always gonna be like that. It just happened to be shitty circumstances caused by the remote location. If we hadn't been in the middle of nowhere, I could’ve worked without issue. We just weren’t prepared for the challenges that came up. This is a learning experience for both of us. We’ll know better for next time so I can plan accordingly…and it wasn’t like you weren’t making changes to meet me halfway.” 

He couldn’t argue with that. He sighed as he leaned back in his seat, nodding in agreement. 

“I know that now, I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly…obviously. It all made sense at the time.” He rolled his eyes, frustrated with his behavior. He took a deep breath before continuing.

“It was more than that though, I knew I was spiraling out of control. I could fucking feel it happening and didn’t know how to make it stop. I didn’t wanna tell you what was going on because I didn’t want you to worry. I knew you would drop everything and fly back to Canada to be with me.”

“You’re damn right I would’ve… and I should’ve done that anyway.” I could feel my emotions catching up to me, my eyes filling with tears as I looked down away from him. 

“I fucking knew it…in my gut that something was wrong, and I did nothing. If I had just done it…came up there anyway, this probably would’ve gone differently. I could’ve helped you through it, but no…I was a fucking coward. I gave up because I was selfish and wanted to protect myself. I didn’t even try because I was too afraid that I would end up in a dark place again if you didn’t want me to be there with you.”

The tears were streaking down my cheeks by this point. I couldn’t hold them back anymore. I had so much anger for myself that it was making me feel sick. Dieter stood from his seat, closing the few feet between us, then got down on his knees on the floor in front of me. He moved to grab my hands in my lap, but hesitated. I reached up and grabbed his in response.

“I’m sorry I put you in the position to even have to think that. It should’ve never happened. I should’ve been communicating everything with you instead of pushing you away. This whole fucking mess is my fault…I wanted to reach out so many times after that… to try and fix it, but you seemed like you were doing ok so I didn’t want to upset you again.”

The tears were streaming down his face now as he took a minute to try and compose himself. 

“I thought I could move on and just deal with things the way I used to…by numbing the pain. That’s when I started drinking heavily again. Then I saw you at the restaurant, and you looked so fucking amazing…and I was such a dick. I was so angry with myself for that. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I had everything and fucked it up. My behavior after that night was reckless. There are days I can’t even remember because I was drinking so much. I just wanted to not think about it anymore.”

He pulled his hands away, looking down at the floor before wiping at his face. When he raised his head again, the pain in his eyes nearly made my heart stop. I reached out to cup his cheek, but he leaned away, seeming to need space.  

“The night that video of you was posted online…several people sent it to me. I didn’t watch it at first because I didn’t think it would mean anything…but when I finally did…”

He put his hand over his mouth, letting out a quiet sob, before continuing. 

“I could see how bad you were hurting…how bad I hurt you. What I did to you…I hated myself for it because you didn’t deserve that. It also reminded me of what I was missing out on because of how beautiful you sounded and looked…and that fucking song.” 

He paused for a minute, shaking his head. He sniffled and wiped at his face again before continuing.  

“I stayed up all night, watching it on a loop on the tv. I almost called you then, but stopped myself. I drank until I had nothing left instead. Then, when I ran into you the next morning, I could see how fucking broken you were. The way you looked at me…it fucking crushed me. I bought more alcohol and went back to the house. I don’t really remember much after that.”

He shook his head for a moment, pausing to take a few deep breaths, wiping at his face again. 

“I don’t even remember calling you…and…even after everything I did, you still came to me. You could’ve easily told me to fuck off and I would’ve deserved it, but you didn’t. I know I wouldn’t be here right now if you hadn’t. You saved my life…I feel like you’ve been doing that ever since New York. When I say you’re my light in the darkness, I fucking mean it.”

I started sobbing into my hands. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I felt his fingers wrap around my wrist, pulling my hands around his neck as he moved to hug me. We sat there in an embrace for some time before I started mumbling into his shoulder. 

“I was so afraid you were gonna hate me for giving up on you so easily. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder. Just know that it had nothing to do with you…I clearly still need to work on my own shit.”

He hugged me a little tighter as he buried his fingers in the back of my hair, “That thought never crossed my mind. Don’t even worry about it anymore.”  

He finally pulled back, wiping the tears away from my cheeks with his thumbs as he did so. We gave each other tight smiles as we locked eyes. He turned away, toward Dr. Rosenberg, who I had completely forgotten was in the room, and asked for some tissues. She picked up the box from her small table and handed it to him as he stood. He handed me several and took some for himself before handing the box back to her. She motioned for him to have a seat. As she turned to set the box back on the table, I noticed she was looking a little glassy eyed too. 

We all sat in silence as her eyes shifted between us. Dieter and I glanced at each other, confusion on our faces as we looked back toward her. She chuckled before she spoke.

“I’m not even sure why I’m here. This is literally the first family session ever where I didn’t have to intervene or lead a conversation. You two don’t seem to have any problems communicating, so I’m not sure how you ended up where you were.” 

We both smiled widely at her, surprised and appreciative of her honesty. Dieter spoke up with a chuckle.  

“I think between my fucked up brain and the distance…it didn’t do us any favors. We’re always at our best when we’re physically together, I think. Everything goes to hell when we aren’t. Clearly that is something I need to work on.”

Dr. Rosenberg nodded in agreement, “Well, I hate to separate you two again, but we are running short on time, and I want to have a chat with Talia about the plans going forward. Dieter, I’m pretty sure you have another group session coming up so you better head that way. You think you can focus enough for this one?” 

She raised an eyebrow in his direction as he laughed and nodded. He stood, quickly shuffling over to lean down and give me a hug before exiting the room.  

Dr. Rosenberg wasted no time getting back to business, “Talia, part of his treatment is making sure he has the support he needs when he gets home. That’s why we offer support to caretakers as well, because technically, you will be his caretaker as the only other person in the household with him.”

I knitted my brows together, confused about where this conversation was going. 

“I’m not going to pretend that I don’t know you have a traumatic history because Dieter has mentioned a few things. I don’t know the details, and I get the sense he doesn’t know it all either. I feel like whatever happened with your ex-husband is still affecting you. Is the dark place you mentioned something that you would be willing to talk to me about? Anything you tell me about yourself is confidential, just so you know.”

I sighed heavily as I ran both hands over my face, “So you picked up on that, huh?” I laughed nervously under her gaze. 

“You’re right, I haven’t told him everything. I keep telling myself I’ve moved past it, but after the last few months, I’ve realized that I just locked it away and pretended it didn’t exist. I tend to do that with a lot of things.” She gave me an encouraging smile, clearly picking up on my hesitation as I paused to gather my thoughts. 

“So, the last few years of my marriage, I started drinking heavily after finding no way out of the hell I was living in. The constant mental and psychological abuse was wearing me down, especially after I realized what was happening. When I tried to talk to Justin about a divorce, he would just tell me there was no way out because he wasn’t ready to give me up.” I paused briefly… focusing on something outside through the window. “I uhh, came home early from work one day and found him with another woman that he worked with. He of course said it was my fault, because I wasn’t giving him what he needed in the marriage. I knew what he was doing…and I was determined not to let it go because I felt I had a legitimate reason to end things at that point. I TOLD him I was leaving. I was done asking. When I started packing a bag, he hit me. The first time ever. I mean, he had shoved me around some, but never hit me across the face like that. He told me there was no leaving… that he would just find me and bring me home. Said no one would believe me or help because all of OUR friends knew how I was.”

“Talia, what did saying that out loud just now make you feel?”  

My eyes drifted over to meet hers, “I don’t really feel anything.” 

She arched a brow, “That’s because you're dissociating. I want you to focus on me as you speak and feel what you’re saying.”  

Fuck. She wasn’t going to let me cheat my way through this like my therapist did. I pinched my brows together as my eyes teared up again. I had to face this. I closed my eyes briefly, exhaling slowly. When I opened them and met her gaze, she nodded for me to continue. 

“He wasn’t wrong. I didn’t really have anyone to turn to. He made sure of that. He left after our argument, said he was going out with the guys. I doubt that’s where he went though. As soon as he left, I started drinking. I remember…feeling lost and pretty fucking hopeless after that. I couldn’t believe he hit me, and I was scared it would happen again. I never saw myself as someone who lets their husband abuse them…I felt disgusted over it. I must have drank a lot…because I can’t remember the rest of that night. I - I woke up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. I guess when he came home, he found me passed out in my own vomit.”

I started tapping on the arm of the chair as the tightness in my chest returned. The tears trickled out again. 

“When Justin finally came to see me, I told him that I was done. If he didn’t let me go, I was gonna find a way out…one way or another and I would make sure everyone knew it was his fault. Given that I had just put myself in the hospital, he took me at my word and agreed on a divorce. I guess he was afraid of what I would do.”

“What did you mean by that?”

I gave a half smile, “I honestly don’t know. I wonder that myself…what I was capable of. If I could’ve done anything.”

“What happened after you both agreed to the divorce?”

“Well, when I was still in the hospital, I reached out to one of my best friends that I grew up with, Lauren. We had kept in touch, even though I actively worked to put up a wall between us so she wouldn’t know what was really going on in my life because I was so embarrassed over it. She didn’t hesitate…she was at the hospital within the hour, and I told her everything. I stayed with her for a few weeks until I got my life sorted out. I don’t think I would have been able to do it without her. Of course, Justin continued to torment me by dragging out the divorce for over a year. It got pretty nasty.”

“What effects do you feel like that experience had on you?” She asked quietly. 

“Experience.” I chuckled. “I didn’t realize twelve years of hell could be considered an experience.” 

She gave me a sympathetic look before I continued, “I mean, I lost myself. I didn’t know who I was. I was who he wanted me to be. After I left him, he was still in my head with everything I did. What I was wearing, how I fixed my hair and makeup, things I said. I couldn’t do some of the simplest things without hearing his voice telling me I was doing something wrong and having a fucking panic attack over it. I couldn’t make decisions…and yes, I would still drink to numb my feelings and calm myself down. Only this time, I knew exactly how much I could drink without taking it too far.”

“Are those things still an issue for you now?”    

I shook my head, “No, I mean, I did all the cognitive behavioral therapy and the sessions. I eventually got to a point where the negative thoughts stopped. I think Dieter had a lot to do with that…he kind of helped me see myself in a different light…but I do still have anxiety sometimes and I think I’ve reverted back to ignoring my feelings… compartmentalizing everything and pretending it’s not there. Throwing myself into work and staying busy to keep my mind occupied. I’ve been doing that instead of drinking the feelings away.” 

Dr. Rosenberg leaned forward, placing her elbow on her knee with a pensive look on her face.   

“Talia…would you be willing to stay for the next three weeks to work through some of this with me? It would be outpatient treatment…a couple hours a day. You can stay in one of our apartments.” 

I sucked in a quick breath. I certainly wasn’t expecting this, but at the same time, I almost felt relieved. My gut told me I needed it and I knew I couldn’t go on the way I had been because I was eventually going to self-destruct if I didn’t take better care of myself. I knew I couldn’t fully be there for Dieter if I was still battling with myself. I sat staring at my hands as I thought through the offer. I could still work remotely, so that wouldn’t be an issue. I raised my head to meet her eyes, “Will Dieter know what I’m doing?”   

“Only if you want him to.”

“I don’t want to saddle him with my shit right now…I don’t wanna mess him up.” 

“Honestly, I think he’s stable at this point. I think he could handle whatever you wanted to share with him. If you wanted, we could even do some more joint sessions, or he can just be there for support if you want him to be. It’s all up to you really.”

“What would you do?” I asked, letting out a stuttered breath with my question. She took a minute to consider her response, biting on the inside of her cheek as she did so.   

“I don’t think it would be bad if you shared everything with him. The more open you are with one another, the better. Communication is going to be a huge factor in keeping your relationship healthy and happy. At least if he knows what’s going on he can support you, just like you support him. Also, if he needs help processing through things, we can help him with that while he’s here…but again, it’s your decision.” 

“Yeah, I mean he knows most of it anyway…Alright, I’ll do it. I’ll stay and I want him involved.”

She gave me a bright smile, “I’m actually really happy to hear that. I think this will allow you to build a solid foundation going forward. I’m excited for your future together. I can tell that you both care deeply for each other and I really want your time here to be successful.” 

I gave her thanks for the opportunity she was giving me. I’ve known for a while that I had things that I needed to work on but didn't really know where to start. The fact that Dieter seemed so at ease with her and was doing so well gave me some comfort and the courage to jump in head first. 

The next three weeks were a whirlwind of educational sessions to help me learn about bipolar disorder; the triggers, coping strategies, and lifestyle changes to minimize stress. I even had an opportunity to learn more about Dieter’s medication and possible interactions and side effects so I would be able to spot them. He had asked that I be involved with his Interpersonal and Social Rhythm therapy, which was designed to help him build a daily routine of healthy habits to manage his moods. Given his job, sometimes a routine was almost impossible for him to keep, but we learned strategies to deal with that when confronted with it. It was all very helpful for the both of us.

I had my sessions too of course. He sometimes set in on them if we were doing something particularly hard that day. His presence helped keep me grounded and got me through a lot. He was taking time to learn about ways to help me cope better and we worked together on effective communication skills. 

Dr. Rosenberg recommended that I start keeping a journal to help me work through my emotions. I was iffy about it at first, but Dieter was also doing it and he loved it. He was very encouraging about it. It was something that I had come to enjoy doing after a few days. We had even taken to having a shared journal between us to better communicate our feelings, which Dr. Rosenberg loved the idea of and encouraged. 

Even though Dieter and I weren’t able to spend a whole lot of time together during those three weeks, I could always feel his presence and support. It’s what kept me going through it all. I don’t think I would have had the strength to do it without him. By the time my last day of treatment came around, he was given the all clear for discharge. It was both nerve wracking and exciting to know that we would be going home…together.

A/N: How excited are we that these two are finally back together? How badly did this chapter hit the feels? Did you cry? If you did, hopefully this will be the last time...unless you are a happy crier. There may be happy tears later. 😉 How are we feeling about Dieter's diagnosis? Does it change how you view some of his past behavior? What about that revelation from Talia? I mean, are we really surprised though; the girl has had a complicated relationship with alcohol throughout the whole story. How do you think things are going to go when they get back home? Do you think they will pick up where they left off or have some growing pains? We will find out in the next chapter. 😁 I am 100% failing at life and did not get the Deconstructing Dieter Bravo post done. I need to do a little fact checking and didn't have the brain power for it. However, once I get that ready, it will be posted HERE. The topic for Deconstructing Dieter Bravo Part 3 will be his diagnosis. I will tag all the usuals in the posts once it is ready. Hopefully you will find it to be educational. 💜 👉 I do want to share some details on upcoming projects that will be released for the holidays. I am participating in the @pedrostories Secret Santa event. I have received my gift prompt, and you may be excited to know that you will be getting a Dieter Bravo one shot from me by Christmas. I already have some ideas swirling around for it and it's not related to any current fics. It should be fun. Be sure to follow the #pedrostoriesgift23 hashtag to check out all the awesome work that will be included for the event. If you would like to be tagged on this one shot, let me know in the comments. 💜 As usual, I have included the chapter mood board below in case you missed it.😘

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