#i made my friend promise she'd be with me when this goes down though it's the only way it's ever gonna happen. lmao

[amandabe11man]

gonna watch a longplay of Forbidden Siren and act like i'm the one playing, okay here we go

EDIT: i told my friend of my plight and she convinced me that i could indeed play this game on my own, and...... god help me, i agreed to do it. i'm gonna do it. fuck me

[mytheoristavenue]

LF Creature x Reader - Mutal Comfort

Summary: You owed Lisa a favor, but you never expected she'd make you pay it back in the form of babysitting her undead boytoy while she goes to a party.

Warnings: rushed/not proofread, bisexual!reader, reader has an unreciprocated crush on Lisa, angst, fem!reader

"Lisa, I never agreed to this!" You shouted at your best friend as she hurried over to crawl back out of your window.

"I promise I'll make it up," she waved you off, sliding the glass panel up. "It's just for the night, I swear. I'll be back before school."

With that she was gone, hearing no other protests. You stood with your back flattened against the wall, frightened gaze never leaving the thing on the other side of your bedroom.

You were the only person who knew of Creature's presence, being Lisa's very best friend for life or whatever. You'd do anything for her but babysitting her undead little pet was definitely stretching boundaries.

You felt some guilt for your terror, after all, he did look incredibly somber, shrinking into the opposite corner. Maybe he felt bad for scaring you?

"S-Soo...uh," you started, pushing off the wall but only by mere centimeters. "Y-You...Lisa's new boyfriend?" The thing seemed rigid at the thought and reluctantly shook his head. "Let me guess, you wanna be?" You prodded, inching closer still. Another timid nod. The two of you had that in common, apparently.

"You and me both," you sighed, sitting on the edge of your bed. Creature eyed you skeptically, still in the corner but not as glued to the wall as before. "Don't look at me like that, I don't mean I want to be her boyfriend." You paused, wondering if his expression was caused by the thought of you being gay or wanting to be a male, or maybe he was jealous at the thought of competition. "But, I don't know, being girlfriends might be nice..."

By this time, he'd inched close enough to sit on the other side of the bed, still as far away on it as possible, though. You took this as a sign to continue. "It's just that, me and Lis have been besties since like- kindergarten. I even convinced my parents to move her with her after her mom died and it feels like all she does is blow me off now," you ranted. "Like, before the incident, we'd have these long talks about the future, and we were always in each other's but now...I don't know anymore..."

An anguished moan was his only response as he drew his discolored hand to his chest. "Sorry," you said dropping your head. "I know you've gotta be hurting too listening to her ramble on about-" You brought your hands to your cheeks and batted your lashes, making your voice an octave higher to imitate your crush. "Micheal Trent!" He nodded, rolling his eyes slightly. "Y'know, I really don't know what she sees in him? Dude's a class A poser. He pretends to be into all that dark music and poetry but it's literally just to look cool and mysterious so all the preppy girls will fall in love with him."

While you ranted, Creature studied your room, noting how different it was from Lisa's. She had string lights, drawings, and moody posters all over her walls, while yours were tidy and well-organized with framed photos and prints of paintings that matched the color scheme of the walls. Eventually, you caught onto his staring and fell quiet prompting him to glance back to you.

"Didn't mean to fly off the handle, my bad." you muttered, standing up with a sigh. "Anyways, what do you like to do? Got any hobbies?" He stood up with you, wandering over to a keyboard that had collected dust in the corner. Curiously, he stuck a key and cringed at the sound it made. You joined him, explaining it. "That's just my old keyboard. I used to play piano as a kid but when we moved here we couldn't take my piano with us, so my dad got me this. It's kinda like an electric piano, only it's portable. Don't really like it though, too synthy for my taste."

Creature sat down in front of it, fumbling with the buttons on the control board while trying out the keys after each adjustment. Finally, he seemed to have found a setting he liked. "I'm guessing you play?" you cocked a brow. You couldn't have predicted how the cocky smirk then tossed you would make you feel. Following that, he threaded his finders together before pushing them out, cracking his knuckles before dramatically slamming down on the keys.

"Holy shit," you breathed, listening to the classical tune that filled your room. Needless to say, he played beautifully and was incredibly talented. At one point, he even glanced up at you with another shit-eating grin, showcasing the fact that he knew the positions by memory and didn't even need to look.

"You're amazing!" you explained when the song was finished, placing your hands on either shoulder and rocking him gently. "I've never seen that much musical skill from one person! What, were you like a professional pianist in your first life or something?"

To your surprise, he actually nodded. "Jesus christ man, I've never even heard that song before, did you write that?" He nodded again, and again, you were flabbergasted. "I bet you had an extraordinarily hard life." You muttered without thinking. "Art like that only comes out of suffering." As he nodded yet again, this time more bashfully, the two of you shared a moment of silence.

"I'm sorry, that was rude," you realized, glancing away. This time, Creature shook his head, an uncharacteristically peachy hand guiding your face back toward his as he stepped closer. For a moment, you waited to see what wisdom he had to offer, before remembering that no words would come as he stared at you, only able to offer a comforting gaze. "I wish you could talk," you whispered as he pulled you into his chest without you even realizing it. "But then again, maybe it's better you can't." you retorted to yourself bitterly. "I've had enough people tell me to cheer up because life gets better."

Creature stiffened, pushing you to hold you at arm's length, shaking his head again. "You think you got something better?" you asked, rhetorically.

Sensing your irritation, he resigned himself to giving up on communication for now. Taking matters into his own hands, he pressed a palm to his heart, a sign for you to trust him. Gently, he guided you back to your bed, pushing you down onto it. Awkwardly, Creature untucked the quilt from the bed a threw it over you, signalling for you to lay down, before tucking you in. You reluctantly followed his instruction, laying down on your side, tears welling in your eyes from all the overwhelming emotion bubbling inside you. You then watched as he made his way over to your desk, seeming to write something on a sheet of notebook paper Following this, he laid the note at your feet as he took a seat in front of the keyboard again.

You couldn't deny that you were beginning to feel drowsy after the soft music he played filled the room. This song was nothing like the first one. It was sweet and serene, unlike the dark and dramatic one he'd first played- with that cocky grin that made you feel so conflicted.

On the cusp of needing to rest your eyes, you remembered the note he'd left for you, briefly sitting up to reach it before laying back down, holding it up in the air to read what it said as he played your consciousness out.

"The sun does not ever reappear if the rain never stops. To live happily is to find solace in any weather. With the right balance, the flowers will begin to bloom. I hope to one day see a lush garden in you, darling."

[galedekarios]

gale & his mother, morena dekarios

i thought it'd be nice to have a place to compile everything i could find about gale's mother, morena dekarios.

the first time you as the player get a vague mention about gale's parents is after saving mirkon, when gale brings up a story about his parents denying him a kitten when he was still a child:

Gale: One time my parents denied me akitten, so I summoned myself a tressym.

if you play a gale origin playthrough, you get a mention of her much earlier from tara, after she joins the camp.

this is a camp dialogue with its variants from act i:

Tara the Tressym: Well, if it isn't my favourite fellow himself. Player: How are things back in Waterdeep? Tara the Tressym: More or less the same - though news of some mad faction calling themselves 'Absolutists' is starting to trickle in. Tara the Tressym: I told your mother not to worry. That if they were anything to worry about, Baldur's Gate would handle things quick-sharp. Keep them from spreading their tendrils north. She still wants to know when she'll see you again, sir. I avoid giving any answers. But she misses you. Player: I miss her too. Tara the Tressym: I'll tell her. With my Cat Flap of Displacement, I can afford the occasional visit. I'd bring you along, if I could. Perhaps some day. - Player: I can't risk putting her in danger. Tara the Tressym: I know that, but she doesn't. She'd keel over if she knew just how you'd tried to manipulate the Weave. Or maybe she'd just say something like, 'My Gale always was one to make the impossible possible.' Oh, but she adores you. - Player: No more guilt trips, Tara. Please. Tara the Tressym: But then whatever will we talk about? Anyhow - I'm keeping my senses pricked for any sign of another item that might be of use to you. Hopefully something will turn up soon.

it's clear from the dialogue that gale's mother worries about him and loves him - adores him, really.

it also becomes clear that she doesn't know what happened to gale and that he nor tara has not told her.

another mention from act i, again from tara:

Tara the Tressym: Please tell me you've at least made inroads when it comes to finding someone to settle down with. Myself and Mrs Dekarios are starting to think you intend to die alone. Player: You've been visiting my mother? Tara the Tressym: Naturally. After you abandoned her, there was only me left to keep her company. She's very good company, though. Ah, the stories we've traded over toast and tea. You're a highly entertaining source of speculation. But speculation only goes so far! Tell me, Mr Dekarios - how have you been?

tara and morena are implied to have tea together regularly enough to trade stories about gale. tara is implied to be a sort of messenger between the two of them, likely after gale's isolation and subsequent abduction by the nautiloid, keeping morena informed, yet without revealing gale's secret and shame.

the devnotes also state that tara loves morena - high praise since other devnotes states that tara hates everyone except gale - and that she talks of her in an affectionate tone.

this is a dialogue in act ii after mystra has tasked gale to use the orb the moment he finds the heart of the absolute:

Tara the Tressym: Promise me, Gale. Promise me you'll find another way. Promise me you'll return home, when this is all over. Player: I can't make that promise, Tara. Tara the Tressym: You're going to kill me. And your mother. And then there'll be no one to mourn you when you've wasted yourself for no good reason at all.

i find it very interesting here in terms of other relationships that tara explicitly says that there will be no one to mourn gale except morena and her should he heed mystra's instructions and sacrifice himself. it speaks of the bond between tara, morena and gale - but also even more of gale's isolation and loneliness. we know from tara that she considers herself to be gale's only old friend and gale echoes as much. we also know that gale describes the dekarios family as the dekarios clan, that is "scattered" far and wide.

at the same time, the loud silence about gale's father becomes really apparent again. a while ago, i speculated about gale's father and i truly do still think that he abandoned morena and gale.

another snippet from an act ii convo, before gale reveals the details of elminster's letter to tara (or chosing to keep it to himself):

Tara the Tressym: I'm not one to pry. I'd rather make up all the juicy details myself over tea with your mother.

which again ties in with a similar line from act i, further cementing the fact that this is a regular thing between tara and morena.

still in act ii, tara says this if gale asks her if she'll still love him if he is a mindflayer:

Player: Will you love me when I'm a mind flayer? Tara the Tressym: Depends. Are mind flayers warm-blooded? If so, my prize napping spot on your lap won't be compromised. In which case, I suppose we could find an accord. And, of course, your mother would still think you a prince, no matter how many tentacles you had. And with a nautiloid, you may even manage to visit her more often.

again, gale's mother truly adores him. tara is utterly convinced she'd love him even if he'd turn into a mind flayer. at the same time, the dialogue again hammers home the fact that gale's been keeping his distance from his mother after he has acquired the orb.

the following lines are a compilation of some of tara's lines from act iii, all once again stating that she is a messenger between gale and morena, keeping morena informed about gale's well-being, while also looking after morena in gale's absence from waterdeep:

Tara the Tressym: You're almost at the end of this, Gale. You're nearly there. And not a moment too soon. Myself, I must away to Waterdeep. Your mother will be worried silly not to have heard from either of us - and now I can bring her the good news. When this is all over I'll be waiting for you, with a crackling fire and good book at the ready. Good luck, darling. - Tara the Tressym: I'm well past due to return to Waterdeep. I'm going to tell your mother that you'll be home soon. Don't make a liar of me, darling. - Tara the Tressym: I'll have to make up some good news for your dear mother, then. I'm going home, Gale. To look after Mrs Dekarios, and to remind you that there are people waiting for you in Waterdeep.

going back to companion gale, the next mention of gale's mother after saving mirkon, is from gale in an ambient with karlach:

Gale: I don't suppose you've any clue where we are in relation to Waterdeep? Karlach: From this distance between Elturel and Baldur's Gate, I'd say... a long way away.devnote Gale: Ah. That will make getting word to my mother rather tricky. No matter - what she doesn't know can't hurt her. Not at this distance, anyway.

it echoes the lines of dialogue that origin gale has, believing he endangers his mother with his condition and thus keeping his distance.

gale mentions his mother in an act iii dialogue after meeting tara on the rooftop of the open hand temple:

Gale: My tower in Waterdeep boasts an excellent kitchen and a wine cellar to rival Ondal himself. Not to mention a larder stocked with my homemade hundur sauce. Player: Hundur sauce? Gale: A Waterdhavian delicacy, spiced to leave exactly the right amount of heat lingering on the tongue, and served with that most sharp-toothed of aquarian residents, the quipper fish. I make it to my mother's recipe. It packs quite a wallop. As does she.

we know that gale's the designated camp cook from a conversation with wyll, and i think the conversation makes it fair to assume that gale's mother taught him how to cook.

still, maybe it's because i'm not a native english speaker and i might be missing some cultural context here, but the line "it packs quite a wallop. as does she." stuck out to me:

wallop. to hit something / someone hard.

this could mean that gale's seen her hit someone and packing quite a punch behind it. with what's been described of morena so far, i doubt it's because gale's ever been on the receiving end of that.

or perhaps it's less literal and more in relation to her seemingly larger than life personality that gale also hints at later, describing his mother as "intimitable" and "sometimes unavoidable". this description is from the following conversation that is currently sadly still bugged:

Player: So your last name is Dekarios? Gale: It is. Courtesy of my mother, the inimitable, dare I say it sometimes unavoidable, Morena Dekarios. It's been so long since I've used it. 'Gale Dekarios' cut a poor figure next to the wizard prowess of 'Gale of Waterdeep'. Player: Gale Dekarios... I think I like him more. Gale: You like to many things about me I'd have sooner discarded... Your generosity is quite wonderful. Gale Dekarios likes you too. Very, very much. Though let's keep his exitence between ourselves for now. - Player: Doesn't your matter mind? Gale: Oh, she's happy if I'm happy. Morena couldn't care one jot what I call myself. Tara's the real stickler for using it. Has done since I summoned her. I'd prefer you not follow her exmaple, if that's all the same to you. 'Gale' is more than sufficient. - Player: You're right. Just 'Gale is better. Gale: I agree. And on the plus side, if I get myself into any truly cataclystic straits during the remainder of our journey, my family name will go untarnished.

i love this banter so much and it makes me very sad that larian still hasn't fixed the issue of it not triggering. there's so much lore to explore here:

from gale dropping 'dekarios' in favour of 'of waterdeep', at first, to appear perhaps more grandiose, more suited to the ambitions he held when he was younger, to morena, apparently, not minding it, yet tara clinging to 'dekarios' (perhaps to keep gale's feet on solid ground as much as she could), to finally finding out that the reason that the gale we meet now is not using 'dekarios' still is because he doesn't wish to tarnish his family name should he indeed fall victim to the orb.

the last mention gale makes of his mother is during his act iii post final battle dialogue, in which he proposes to the player:

Gale: That being said, I wondered if you might consider accompanying me back to Waterdeep as a new member of the Dekarios clan? Player: Are you asking me to marry you? Gale: I suppose I am. Tara would be delighted. Not to mention my mother. But I'd be just as happy without such ceremony, so long as we're together.

this again mirrors what tara has been saying in her dialogue with an origin gale in act i: that morena and her were hoping he would find someone to find happiness with.

i think overall, even with only the very few bits and pieces we learn of morena, it's easy to tell that she truly loves and adores and cares her son, and that that love and care is clearly echoed back from gale to morena.

still, or perhaps more likely because of that love, gale keeps his secrets and his distance to morena because of the orb and the shame he feels he brought to his family.

it's all too easy to imagine that he wishes her to be proud of him and that he feels he has disappointed her and given her little reason to be proud of him in the same vein that he feels he has done with tara:

Gale: She'd [Tara] be most impressed by our efforts saving these tieflings. Proud, even. And I've given her little to be proud of recently.

anyhow, i hope i caught all mentions and that this was helpful to someone. 🖤

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 49

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 5k

Masterlist

———————————————————————-

Monday, February 8th; 11:45 AM - In class.

Returning to reality is hard. I'm bored to death with these classes. If Lucy saw me, she'd probably lecture me for slouching over my desk trying to follow this pointless lesson. I wish we could have extended our weekend. It was so much more enjoyable, even with the little incident Feli caused on Saturday night. I keep thinking about it. Lucy was so sweet to me from beginning to end. I was so worried, but now I regret that the weekend was too short. Plus, seeing my brother again was such a joy. It broke my heart when it was time to leave. He didn’t want to let us go, and he even cried. I felt sorry for Hector, who had to stay with him. Luckily, the holidays are coming soon. We have just one more week. I’m eagerly looking forward to it, so much so that I feel like these next few days are going to drag on. It’s well known that excitement tends to slow down time. If all goes well, I'll spend those two weeks with Lucy. The first week is certain, since we'll be going to the Alps with her friends. She told me she'd handle the planning with Ingrid during the day.

- "You seem lost in thought," Alessia murmurs. "Is everything okay?"

- "Yeah," I say, sitting up and giving her a shy smile.

I’ve never felt so good. Of course, I still have problems, but the biggest ones are now resolved. My smile fades for a moment as I recall the events of last week. With everything that happened, I haven't had the chance to speak to my friends since the cafeteria incident. I did check in with Alexia via text, but that was it. I got bombarded with questions this morning. If I had at least had one meal with them, I could have avoided this situation. But I don’t regret eating with Lucy. I was still too shaken to be around other students. Coming back to school this morning reminded me why I wasn't ready for that. The students made me the center of attention. I hated it. My friends told me that a bunch of rumors had spread after the fight. The first was about Korbin getting expelled, but for me, it was a different story. The students thought I was in the hospital, considering the beating I took. The scene in the cafeteria must have been something for them to think that. After hearing all this, I’m not surprised everyone is staring at me. Sure, I still have a few marks, but everything’s healing pretty well, thanks to Lucy’s weekly care.

- "I wanted to apologize," I said.

- "For what?"

- "For being radio silent until today. I shouldn't have worried you. To be honest, I didn't expect you to be so concerned."

- "You're our friend; it's normal to worry."

- "Yeah, but you know, except for Mapi, I was never close to many people. But now that I have you guys, it’s… I don’t know. I’m glad to have you."

- "We’re glad to have you too," she smiles. "Just don’t leave us without news next time. We saw you Thursday morning, so we knew you were okay, but we still wondered why you were absent the next day."

- "I promise, next time I'll let you know."

I return her smile. I've grown closer to them, so I can’t shy away now. I’m relieved when the bell rings right after our conversation. I hope the rest of the week doesn’t pass as slowly as this half-day. I’ll die of boredom otherwise. My only motivation is that I’ll see Lucy every evening since we’ll be sharing her room again this week. She told me she’d be busy these next five days, so I’ll have to make do with our evening classes and nights together. I hope I can manage. She’s been my support these past few days, and I already feel lost without her by my side. In the meantime, I content myself with my friends. Specifically, Alessia. She’s telling me all about what I missed last week, and her stories are pretty funny. I stop laughing, though, when we run into Lucy walking in the opposite direction just as we’re about to leave the building. I step aside to avoid getting in anyone’s way.

- "Hey," I say with a smile, happy to see her.

My smile fades when I realize she’s not looking at me. Her attention is focused on Alessia beside me, and she’s giving her a dirty look before finally turning to me.

- "Hi," she finally responds. "You know we already saw each other this morning, right?" she jokes.

- "Uh, yeah," I say awkwardly, making her smile.

- "I don’t have much time to chat, but we’ll meet after class. I’ll be done with what I have to do by then, so we can work on your assignments."

- "Really? I don’t want to waste your time. If you’re too busy, Alessia can help me."

- "No. I insisted on helping you with your studies, so I’m not going to abandon you," she replies.

I suppress my smile at the tone of her voice. Oh, so she has an issue with Alessia... I didn’t see that coming.

- "Alright. I’ll be there," I simply reply.

- "You better be. You can’t back out now."

- "I wasn’t planning to," I tease.

- "Good," she smiles. "See you later in the classroom."

- "Aren’t you going to eat?"

- "I just finished. I wanted to avoid the crowd and save time."

- "Oh," I say, struggling to hide my disappointment.

She smiles at me, as if she understands how I feel. I wish she could have been there with me. Just seeing her in front of me would have given me courage. She ruffles my hair affectionately before slowly walking away.

- "See you in a few hours," I whisper.

- "See you in a few hours," she repeats.

I sigh as I watch her walk away. I wish I could follow her. I turn back to Alessia, who raises an eyebrow with a small smile.

- "Study session, huh? I guess things are better between you two if you're willing to ditch me."

- "Oh... Uh, yeah. I should’ve told you," I grimace as we head outside to join the others.

They were waiting for us at the exit. We follow them to the cafeteria as they start walking when they see us.

- "I’m really sorry, but because of my terrible grades, Bronze wanted to take charge again."

- "So, things are better between you?"

- "I... Yeah, you could say that."

- "You could say that?" she giggles. "You seemed pretty happy to see her just now," she smiles.

- "You’re exaggerating... It’s just that I didn’t expect to see her. She told me she’d be very busy today."

- "Who, besides you, tries to run into their supervisor?" she teases.

- "Alright... You’re right. Probably no one," I giggle. "I can’t help it if I enjoy spending time with her. She... I don’t know. I need her, that’s all. With what happened last week, she once again proved that to me."

- "Uh-huh..." she smiles.

- "What?"

- "Nothing," she says with a smirk.

- "Oh, come on. I know you well enough by now to know you’re thinking something."

- "No, I’m not saying anything," she says, raising her hands. "You might take it the wrong way again, and I don’t want to risk it."

- "Of course not," I protest.

- "I’m sure you would," she laughs. "Please drop it. I really don’t want you to get upset again."

- "Fine," I sigh.

I don’t insist, knowing that if she doesn’t want to talk about it, she must have a good reason. I don’t want to create any tension between us when we’ve been getting along so well these past few days. I step into the cafeteria hall as she holds the door for me. I barely take a few steps before Alexia half-jumps on me, putting her arm around my shoulders. I wince, holding back a cry of pain to avoid worrying her. Though my injuries are healing, they are far from fully recovered.

- "Classes are so depressing," she groans. "I’m so glad we’re on break!"

- "I totally agree."

- "You guys can’t complain. We only have one week left," Alessia comments.

- "Yeah, Especially the first week. Oh my God, I can’t wait!"

- "I can’t agree more," I say with a knowing smile.

- "What do you mean...?" Ale asks, slowing down. "Wait, don’t tell me—"

She stops completely, making me chuckle. I hadn’t told her the good news yet. This vacation is going to be amazing. I’ll be surrounded by all the people I’m closest to: Lucy, Mapi, and Alexia. Gradually, a smile spreads across Alexia’s face as if she’s just figured it out.

- "No, but wait... Really?"

I shrug, smiling even more. I reply with a wink before continuing with Alessia toward the buffet, who no longer tries to understand our half-spoken conversation. Thankfully. She’s a good analyst, and I don’t want her starting to ask questions.

- "Ona Batlle! What don’t I know about!?"

- "Oh, a lot of things," I giggle. "Let’s talk about it tonight, okay?"

"You have no idea how much I hate you right now for leaving me in suspense!"

I laugh, not saying anything more. I get the feeling Alessia is already asking herself questions, so I don’t want to add fuel to the fire by feeding her curiosity. We finally change the subject as we return to our table.

Monday, February 8; 5:45 PM - Lucy and Ingrid’s Office.

For the fifth time, I try to slide my hand onto Lucy’s thigh, but she stops me again, this time with a grumble. I pout as she furrows her brows once more.

- "You need to stop that."

- "I need to touch you," I groan.

She smiles softly, tilting her head. Coming from me, that might be confusing. I’ve never felt such a primal need before. Lucy has always been the one to offer me affection, and it’s frustrating that she’s denying it now.

- "Since when, huh?"

I shrug, blushing slightly. I missed her today. It was the first day we’ve been apart in four days.

- "Just wait a few more minutes until the building empties. In the meantime, focus. You’re far from done with your exercise."

I slump, resting my head on my hand and letting out a long groan. I’m getting tired of these management exercises. It’s been nearly an hour, and I’m almost back to square one.

- "Um, hello."

I lift my head to see a new presence in the room. Ingrid isn’t here tonight, so I wanted to take the opportunity to get Lucy’s attention, but now I understand why she didn’t want that. We could still be caught at any moment, like now. I squint as I recognize my management teacher, Mr. Tompson.

- "Hello, Mr. Tompson. How can I help you?" Lucy takes the initiative to ask.

- "I didn’t expect you to have company, actually."

- "Oh, Ona isn’t a problem. I help her with her homework every evening, so I doubt there will be other times to discuss privately. I’ll make sure she stays quiet if it’s an important matter."

- "Actually, it concerns her class."

He glances at me with a gentle smile. I don’t return his smile at all. He caught my attention as soon as he arrived. Lucy sort of confirmed for me that he’s interested in her. That makes me even more eager to defend my territory, but of course, I can’t. As if Lucy sensed that I was seething beside her, she gently squeezes my knee.

- "Well?"

I loosen my grip on my pen and look back down at my paper. Maybe my inattention will encourage my teacher to talk, and that’s exactly what happens. He must have realized that I wasn’t going to leave. There’s no way I’m letting him be alone with Lucy.

- "I was thinking of organizing an outing for their class. It would involve seeing how a company operates. I’m just waiting for responses from the companies I’ve selected."

- "Okay…" Lucy responds uncertainly. "And how does that involve me?"

- "I’m looking for chaperones… Three, to be exact."

- "I see."

- "I was hoping you’d be willing to do it," he adds hesitantly after Lucy’s response.

- "Well, why not, but it’s not my decision to make. You’d better discuss this with the principal."

- "Oh yes, of course! That was my intention," he says quickly. "I just wanted to know if you were agreeable before approaching her."

- "Do you already have the other chaperones?"

- "Another teacher who helped organize the outing will be there. I’m still missing the third person."

- "I can ask Engen. I suppose she’d be interested in coming with us. Of course, it will need Wiegman’s approval first."

- "That’s a good idea. I’ll handle that. Anyway, it’s not happening for a few weeks."

- "Alright, then we’ll discuss it again when the time comes."

- "Bronze…?" I murmur. "I’m stuck here."

A smile spreads across her lips as she presses her hand on my knee a little more. She seems to understand my plea for attention.

- "Excuse me, did I interrupt you?" my teacher asks.

- "No problem," Lucy replies.

- "Well then… I’ll leave you to it. Have a good evening."

- "Thank you, you too."

I watch him leave the room with a nasty look. Fortunately for me, he didn’t notice as he had his back turned. He closes the door halfway at Lucy’s request. I sigh with relief at his departure. He was making the atmosphere heavy. Lucy smiles at me almost mockingly.

- "What?"

- "Oh, nothing."

- "Hmm…"

- "So, what’s your problem?"

- "Oh, I didn’t have one. I just wanted him to leave."

She smiles again and goes back to her work. I groan, resting my head on my palm again.

- "Still, I hadn’t realized how insufferable that guy is."

Lucy lets out a laugh she’s probably been holding in for a while, given its intensity.

- "Hey, don’t make fun of me! It’s the truth."

- "I thought you liked him?"

- "Yeah, well, I’ve changed my mind. I like him less now that I know he’s hovering around you."

- "He’s not hovering around me," she rolls her eyes.

- "He likes you and ogles you; it’s all the same to me. Plus, I would’ve preferred to avoid confronting him today, given how much I missed you," I tease her.

She smiles in amusement and surprises me by leaning in to kiss me. I close my eyes, fully enjoying this contact, which I realize has become a necessity for me right now. However, it doesn’t last. I open my eyes to beg for more, which prompts her to respond verbally.

- "I hope you fully enjoyed that little taste to satisfy your needs because that’s going to be my only affectionate gesture in this office tonight. Now get back to work. I want that exercise finished before dinner."

A plaintive whine escapes me. I should’ve expected it, but it’s so frustrating. Knowing that she really means it, I abandon the idea of getting more and change the subject.

- "I can’t do it," I replied.

I’m not sure if I’m talking about the exercise or the affection she’s withholding. She seems to assume it’s the former, judging by her response.

- "I’ve explained it to you three different ways. You can’t tell me you can’t do it. This is clearly a lack of effort on your part, and if you think I’m going to do the exercise for you, you’ve got another thing coming."

I sigh, knowing full well that she’s right about this. In truth, I already understood it the second time she explained it, but I just don’t have the motivation to do it. I still pout, not entirely happy with her attitude. However, I don’t complain to avoid getting scolded for real. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that Lucy won’t act any differently than a supervisor during work hours. With little enthusiasm, I finally dive into my exercise.

Monday, February 8; 8:15 PM - Ona and Alexia’s Room.

- "No way, this can’t be true…" says Alexia, completely shocked. "Why do you always hide so much from me! So, you and Bronze…"

She doesn’t finish her sentence, as if she still can’t believe it enough to say it out loud. I giggle and nod. I just told her we’re a couple. I thought she would’ve guessed when I said everything was settled, but it seems she hadn’t thought that far. She falls back onto the bed across from me. It looks like she’s going to need some time to process this.

- "But like, really?"

- "Yes, Ale," I laugh. "We’re together."

- "B-but, but… How?! We’re talking about Bronze here!"

- "Call her Lucy with me, please," I roll my eyes with a little amused smile.

- "Oh no, no, no. I definitely can’t do that. We’re talking about Bronze!"

I laugh heartily before we look each other in the eye. I wait for her to digest the news. She opens her mouth to speak but then closes it again. She seems to be thinking about what to say before finally speaking.

- "How? I mean, Bronze hates me because I broke the rules by dating Jenni, and she got fired because of me. So how did you get her to break the same rule herself? It’s so unexpected. I mean, of course, I encouraged you, and I hated her for hurting you so much, but… I don’t know. I just never expected her to offer you an intimate relationship, seriously!"

- "Stop it, Lucy doesn’t hate you."

- "Oh yes, yes, yes! She hates me! She made that clear from the start! She’s only become nicer to me since you two started hooking up! And that’s only because we’re friends! Did you say something to her? Oh my God, you must have said something! Otherwise, she wouldn’t be acting so nice to me!"

I chuckle in amusement. The way she’s getting worked up is hilarious. Now she’s standing up, panicking, saying things I can’t even understand anymore because I’m laughing so much.

- "Ale, calm down. I didn’t say anything to her. If she’s doing it for me, I don’t know about it. I can find out If you want.

- Definitely not! Besides… why are you here with me? Don’t you want to go find her?

- Well, you see, I have a friend who pressured me a little to stop by here before heading back to my room. I should hate you for delaying the moment I’ve been waiting for all day, but you’re lucky I like you, I teased.

- Aww, you’re too cute! But go on. I don’t want to keep you. I’ll just try to process this news now that I know.

- No, I think I’ll stay here for a bit. Actually, I need to make Lucy wait. She left me frustrated while I was doing my homework.

Alexia sits back down on her bed, nodding.

- It’s understandable that she’d want to keep things discreet. Her best friend lost her job because of me for the same reason. I doubt she wants to get fired for it too.

- I know… I sighed. I don’t blame her; I get it. Honestly, I just didn’t expect to want to be so touchy-feely with her. I mean, just last week, I could barely stand being touched. Now I’m practically begging her to touch me, even if it’s just once.

- I’ve been saying from the start that you were hooked on her, she teased. But still, I can’t get over it. You two, together? I mean, especially Bronze in a relationship—it’s unimaginable.

- Oh, stop. It’s just because she only shows you the mask she wants you to see. She’s really sweet deep down. I even think she’s hiding her true self, I said with a roll of my eyes.

- What do you mean by that?

- I’m not saying anything. You might never see her the same way again, and I doubt Lucy would appreciate it, I replied with a small, sly smile. I think she likes to keep you on your toes, I chuckled.

- Yeah, well, it’s really not funny, she pouted.

- You know, I can always talk to her if this bothers you that much.

- No, absolutely not! I want to prove to her that I’m a good match for Jenni. I feel like she still doesn’t think so.

- If she doesn’t yet, she will. And I promise I won’t do anything to make that happen.

We exchanged a knowing smile just as there was a knock on the door. A rather timid Lucy entered our room. I raised an eyebrow, not expecting her to show up. I’d seen her after dinner and told her I wouldn’t come by right away.

- Hey, I said. What brings you here?

- I was wondering what was taking you so long.

I raised an eyebrow, noticing it was only twenty past eight. I usually didn’t head back to my room until nine when I stopped by here first.

- Hmm… We were just talking, but I can come back with you if that’s what you want.

- Oh no, it’s just that… she started before cutting herself off. Never mind.

Lucy shifted her gaze from me to my roommate. She raised an eyebrow, making me look at Alexia in turn. Alexia’s cheeks were clearly flushed with embarrassment, probably from staring at her. Lucy sighed, running a hand through her hair.

- She knows, I guess?

- Of course. Don’t think I was going to keep it from her.

- I didn’t say anything, she smiled softly. Well… are you done, or should I leave without you?

- I think we’re done…

- Yeah, sure, Alexia confirmed.

- So, see you tomorrow morning? I asked.

- Yeah, she smiled, getting up to hug me. See you tomorrow morning.

- Good night, I said, before joining Lucy, who had been waiting by the door since the beginning.

Lucy wished her a good night as well before letting me go ahead to leave. We walked through the buildings, taking her shortcut to make the trip quicker.

- You thought I wasn’t coming back? I teased. I usually get back to your room later than this.

- No. Let’s just say I didn’t expect you to take so long. You told me you’d only be fifteen minutes.

- Hmm… And what would have happened if I’d stayed longer, huh?

- It would have meant that I couldn’t enjoy you the way I wanted, she murmured as she opened her bedroom door.

- Well, I started, immediately searching for my things in my suitcase. You didn’t want me to enjoy you in your office either, I replied in a slightly reproachful tone.

- You’re not really mad about that, are you? she teased.

- You don’t know me very well if you think otherwise, I replied with a wink.

She tried to steal a kiss as we moved, but I ignored her and slammed the bathroom door in her face. I heard her groan behind it, which made me stifle a laugh. I expected her to give up—at least, that’s what I would’ve done in her place—but instead, she came into the bathroom just as I was taking off my shirt.

- Luce, get out of here.

- No, she said, blocking me against the sink.

- What’s gotten into you? I sighed, slightly unsettled by her sudden change in behavior.

- You should know that I don't reject you in my office for fun, she replied. I told you that I'd remain your supervisor at school and your girlfriend in private. I thought you understood that. Let's not start taking jabs at each other over this.

Her response made me realize she took my words seriously. Sure, I was a little upset with her for making me wait with just one kiss, but I was mostly joking.

- Sorry, I... It’s just that... Today was hard. I really missed you. I didn’t expect it to be this much. Plus, it was tough dealing with all those rumors and students without you by my side.

Lucy sighed as she pulled me into her arms. I relaxed into her embrace, enjoying the long-awaited hug. She kissed my forehead.

- It was only the first day... You'll have to hold on for three more months because I’m not planning to change my stance on professionalism. Don’t forget that I’m working here.

- I know, I mumbled.

- We’ll have all the time in the world to be together in the evenings, OK?

- Yeah, and after the holidays, huh? I won’t be here in the evenings, remember?

- Well, we’ll have the weekends, she arched an eyebrow. You're not going to get all depressed on me, are you? I didn’t think you were this needy for affection, she teased.

- Well, you’re the one who made me like this.

She laughed and stole a quick kiss from me.

- Now, go take a quick shower and come join me. You’re not the only one who’s been waiting for this moment all day. I just hide it better than you.

I smiled as I watched her leave. She really does hide it better than I do because I hadn’t noticed. I hurried to wash up and get ready for bed before joining her. She was already waiting in bed with the next Harry Potter movie queued up on her laptop. I quickly joined her, snuggling into her arms. She held me tight and kissed me passionately, showing me just how much she had missed me too.

- So, how was your day otherwise? she asked as she started the movie.

- Long and boring, I sighed. It’s really unbearable. I’m just glad Alessia and the others were there to distract me.

- Alessia, huh?

- What? I asked, smiling slightly, already knowing where this conversation was going.

- You two have gotten close pretty quickly. Is she still into you?

I smiled mischievously. I vaguely mentioned this to her because of what happened on New Year’s Eve. I seriously need to stop talking to her about these things.

- I don’t think so. At least, she knows I’m interested in someone else.

- Really?

- Yeah… But she’s starting to have questions about us, so if you ask me, you might want to save those looks for someone else next time.

I bit my lip and looked up. The scene from this morning was unforgettable. I saw her give Alessia a disapproving look, and I doubt it was accidental. I caught her rolling her eyes before she turned them back to me.

- Why? She’s asking questions?

- I think she suspects that you’re the one I’m interested in. So yeah, I guess she’s asking questions. This morning, she didn’t want to continue a conversation about it, fearing I’d get upset…

- I see, she murmured. I’ll try to control myself. You try to do the same with your management professor, she teased.

- At least I didn’t stare him down!

- Maybe not, but you weren’t exactly pleasant either, she giggled.

- That’s not true.

- Yes, it is, she laughed. It was cute.

I blushed, sinking deeper into her. I turned my attention to the movie that had been playing. Lucy kissed my head, making me smile. It’s funny how easily we express our feelings now when we hid them for weeks before.

- So… I can’t talk to Alessia about us, right? I broke the silence, making Lucy sigh.

- Why do you ask? Do you want to tell her?

- No, but I’m afraid she’ll find out…

- If you ask me, from what you’ve told me, she already suspects. It’s up to us to prove her wrong, which is why we need to stay professional here, especially during work hours.

- You’re right, I murmured.

- I’d love for you to be able to talk to her, but the fewer people who know, the less chance we have of compromising my end of the year. I’d rather we don’t talk about it, no matter how much you trust Alessia or anyone else.

I nodded. It’s definitely too risky. It might be our last year, but I’m not going to risk anything happening in the short time we have left here.

- I won’t say anything.

- So… Do you really like her since you’ve gotten close to her?

I swallowed a smile. She’s really cute when she’s playing jealous.

- She was a good support while you were away… I misjudged her, to be honest.

- You know, if you asked me a question like that, I would have reassured you…

I frowned, worried that I might be misunderstanding the tone of her voice. I looked up to see her smiling softly at me.

- Yes, I’m jealous of her, baby. Unlike me, you could have been open with her in front of your friends.

- I was open with you in Barcelona and even in front of my mom. That was the first time that ever happened. Well, I did it with Mapi in front of our friends, but definitely not as quickly.

- Really…? she murmured.

- Yes.

I propped myself up on my elbows to get a better look at her. She suddenly seemed deep in thought. Her hand gently caressed my back.

- What’s on your mind? I whispered.

- I don’t want to rush you into things too quickly. You know that, right?

- Of course. I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want to do. Honestly… I expected this weekend to be a disaster because of my fears, but I ended up loving it… You made me feel comfortable, as you always do. Everything feels so natural between us, and that’s exactly what I need.

She smiled softly before kissing me.

- I’m glad to hear you say that. Don’t hesitate to tell me if anything bothers you, okay?

- Nothing bothers me… But I’ll tell you if something does, I promise. Can we finally watch the movie now?

- Of course, she giggled. Sorry. Come here.

She lifted her arm, and I didn’t hesitate to snuggle as close to her as possible. I love when she holds me in her arms. I used to be afraid of starting a new relationship because I didn’t like physical contact anymore, but now I crave the opposite with Lucy. I buried my head in her neck, thinking about this. I can’t imagine being without her anymore. We’ll need to balance our time during the day and our private moments. I have no doubt she’ll help me with that, even though it will be challenging for both of us, from what I can tell. Lucy is clearly better at hiding it than I am. I hope I can do the same in the coming days, and then the holidays will finally be ours.

[wosomarvel]

communication - 03

i thought i'd let you guys know that this takes place after the wwc, but i will probably stray from what happens in real life from here on out.

also i am taking 6 classes this semester so i apologize for slow updates! i promise i do have a plan for where this story goes and roughly how long it will be. i'm sorry this took so long, but hopefully i can get another update out within two weeks because my first round of midterms is over.

-----

"how's your rehab going?"

sim never liked questions like that when she'd had her surgeries on her knee. the same question that everyone she talked to had asked her. she hated the repetitiveness of it. she hated the pitying gazes she got when she told the other person that her rehab wasn't going at all, that she'd never step foot on the pitch again.

but she'd asked leah the question anyway. she knew that having to miss out on yet another lionesses camp had to be weighing on her friend. sim knew leah probably felt that as captain, she couldn't talk to anyone on the team about feeling left out and probably felt she had to put on a supportive front for the team.

she'd asked leah because she wanted her to know someone was there to listen.

"i'll be running on grass again next month, so i'm not too concerned," leah answered, setting a cup down on the coffee table before settling down on the sofa across from sim with her own.

as camp was nearing, sim made an effort to spend more time with the older girl and had become quite familiar with leah's comfortable flat a few minutes away from london colney.

"i meant... like emotionally. can't be easy watching your team play from the crowd. i know you're still going to camp to support, but being that close and not being able to play..." sim trailed off.

sim had great admiration for the support leah had shown the lionesses from off the pitch. attending the world cup, attending camps to support coaching staff, and doing anything just to be involved wasn't something sim thought she could've handled if she'd been in leah's position.

sim fought back a surge of bitter jealousy when she reminded herself that it was different. leah would get to play again. and even though it had only been a year and a half since sim's own knee reconstruction, the doctors hadn't tried to sugarcoat the low chances of her ever regaining the ability to run, let alone play rugby at the level she had been before it all went to shit.

but she pushed all of it down and away. if she didn't think about it, she could pretend like everything was normal. like she was just out with a sprain for a few weeks and any day now she'd be making her return to the forward pack.

it was less painful to pretend, and if there was one thing sim was good at, it was pretending.

"it's still tough, but i'm not struggling as much as i did at the start. playing again seemed so far away right after the surgery but i think being there for the girls has helped me keep me motivated."

sim nodded at leah's answer, sending her a soft smile before reaching for the cup she'd placed in front of her.

"i appreciate you checking in," leah spoke. there was another beat of silence, almost like the gunner was testing the field before speaking again hesitantly. "what about you?"

sim could feel leah's eyes boring into the side of her head, the weight of the curiosity and concern in her gaze.

sim pulled a long sip of coffee. "well, rehab for me isn't really a thing anymore. they did what they could. this is the best it's going to get."

leah cringed at the iciness that took over the younger girl's tone. she didn't miss the way sim's whole body straightened, muscles taut with tension.

"you know that's not what i meant," she said, her voice soft. she set her coffee cup down on the table, reaching for sim's and doing the same. "how are you dealing with it?"

sim wasn't dealing with it. but she knew that wasn't the answer leah was looking for. she forced herself to relax, painting a smile on her face.

she hoped it was believable.

"it's been almost two years now. i'm over it," she replied with a shrug.

leah took note of sim's seeming nonchalance. the blonde knew it was a facade. sim might be trying her best to claim she was fine but leah knew better.

her ACL injury was hard enough even when she knew she'd make a full recovery. that knowledge hadn't stopped her from itching to rush back. if leah hadn't had the support system she did at the time of her injury, she'd be in much worse shape. physically and mentally.

her heart broke for sim, knowing she didn't have the comfort of making a full recovery. sure, they'd only known each other for just under a year, but leah could see the way sim's reduced mobility was eating away at her.

it was apparent in the look in her eyes when she observed the girls playing football, when she thought no one was paying attention to her. it was apparent in the way sim never let herself rest for a moment, in the way she avoiding talking about rugby, in the way she never talked about her life before the injury.

plus, from what leah could tell, sim didn't have anywhere close to the support system she herself did. sim hadn't even discussed her injury in detail with leah, and the pair were the closest from anyone else on the national team.

knowing what she had gone through with her own fight back to playing football, leah could not imagine what it would feel like if she'd never be able to play again. if she hadn't had her friends, family, and teammates by her side.

"you don't have to do that."

"do what?" sim replied, shrugging her shoulders.

"pretend."

"i'm not," sim defended. "it's in the past. no point dwelling on it. i don't like to think about it."

leah sighed, but decided not to mention that not thinking about it wasn't healthy. sim wouldn't be receptive to further pushing.

instead, she resolved to try and bring the girl out of her shell during camp. she only really talked to leah, beth, alessia, and tooney. maybe, leah thought, maybe she'd click with one of the other girls.

-----

"what are you doing here so early?"

sim jumped, almost dropping the coffee she'd picked up from the meal room at st. george's park.

"i could ask you the same thing," she quipped back.

"i'm filling in as captain, aren't i? got to take it seriously while leah recovers," millie replied.

sim smiled at the thought. this would be leah's first national camp in almost a year. though the older girl wouldn't be fully training with the team, sim knew she was happy just to be back in the environment.

"i'm just getting my equipment set up. i'm going to try and get shots of everyone arriving to camp. i'll clip that together really quick for the socials, shouldn't take too long, but if i set everything up right now i should be able to get shots of training on one of the better cameras, and i'll be pulling some of you lot aside for que-"

sim was cut off my a smack to the shoulder.

"hey!" she whined, rubbing her shoulder with her arm.

"sorry, love, you just kept on rambling and i couldn't get a word in to stop you," millie explained with a grin. sim blushed a deep red, smiling at the ground sheepishly. "and listen," millie added, "don't stress too much about it, yeah? you're good at your job and this team is a lively bunch. you just have to point a camera at tooney for a minute and you're guaranteed content."

sim nodded in response, forcing herself to relax. millie was right. you'd be hard pressed to find a slow day with the lionesses.

millie was proven correct within the next half hour. sim decided to forego using one of the higher end cameras to film the team's arrivals as she was quite aware of their propensity for hugs. settling for using her phone and a tripod for this bit, she'd only been stationed by the entrance for ten minutes before ella came bounding towards her.

"what've you got that cane for, grandma," she teased, throwing an arm around sim's shoulders.

"it's easier to hit you with, isn't it?" sim grinned. katie zelem snorted as she walked up behind the two at a normal pace. sim rolled her eyes playfully, spotting the pout that had taken over tooney's face. "nah, honestly, it's just easier to use and doesn't hurt my ribs as much."

it was true. if the perpetual bruise on her side was anything to go by, sim's prolonged use of a crutch wasn't exactly convenient. she'd made the decision to switch to using a cane instead, teasing be damned.

"good for you, then." the sincere look on ella's face caught sim by surprise, causing her to tear up a little, something that wasn't missed by zel.

"right, who are you and what've you done with ella?" zelem chortled, steering her into the building. sim sent a grateful look her way before getting back to work.

sim didn't know why such a simple comment had her on the verge of tears. she brushed it off as a result of the wind, rather than acknowledging that ella's sincerity had made her feel cared for in a way.

god forbid sim let herself feel an ounce of regular human emotion.

-----

millie might've been right about the ease of capturing content, but that didn't make editing any less of an absolute nightmare. in fact, sim would argue, the chaos of the lionesses only made it more difficult.

the chaos wasn't all bad; it certainly made for some funny clips that could be put together for videos sim knew the fans would love. when it came to more structured videos, however, the process was an extremely tedious one. she was currently working on a best friend challenge video for the youtube, trying to find a balance between letting the girls' personalities shine through in all the giggles and off-topic conversations and keeping the actual challenge front and center. sim didn't know how she was going to manage both without making the video about thirty minutes long.

"couldn't sleep?"

sim was snapped out of her trance by a soft, familiar voice.

"something like that," she replied as alessia took a seat beside her at the meal room table. "what about you? it's two in the morning. shouldn't you be resting for the game tomorrow?"

sim directed her attention towards the slightly older blonde, pushing her laptop shut when she noticed the troubled look on her face.

"hey, what's wrong?" sim inquired.

"it's stupid," alessia mumbled.

"if it's bothering you enough to have you up at this hour, it's anything but stupid. you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but i'm here if you do," sim spoke softly.

"i just-" the forward stuttered. "we lost the world cup final. then i come to arsenal and i miss a penalty kick and we're out of the champion's league. what if i don't-"

"right, i'm going to stop you right there," sim interjected, turning to face alessia. she reached to grab one of the girl's hands, rubbing soothing circles on the back with her thumb. if sim had learned anything in the months she'd spent building a friendship with alessia, it was that she responded well to touch.

"look at me, less," sim prodded softly. when her own brown eyes met blue, she continued. "i watched all your games at the world cup. i've watched all the arsenal games that i could. you are absolutely tearing it up. you made the world cup roster for a reason. if you don't think you're an adequate player, i've got hours of footage that proves otherwise. and even if you have a bad game tomorrow, that doesn't take away from the fact that you're a stellar player, and it sure as hell doesn't make you any less of a wonderful person. do you hear me?"

sim smiled when she saw some of the tension leave alessia's frame. "yeah," she replied, voice so soft that if sim hadn't been listening, she would have missed it.

before she could say anything else, alessia leapt onto sim, squeezing her in a tight hug. "thank you," she whispered into sim's neck.

sim was caught off guard, but after a few moments of hesitation, wrapped her own arms around alessia's frame, rubbing circles on her back.

"let's get you back up to bed, yeah?"

-----

"told ya you'd kill it," sim said, grinning as she pointed her camera at less.

the lionesses had just won their first olympic qualifying match, and sim was tasked with getting some celebration shots.

this was her favourite part of the job: getting to capture such pure joy after matches was something sim would never get tired of.

"oh, shut it," alessia laughed as she made her way back to the locker room. sim missed the way her face flushed.

"nice header you had, hempo," sim called out to lauren.

"nah, it was the cross from rach that should get the credit," she replied, shooting the camera a quick smile.

"charmer, that one," millie joked as she bounded through the hall, arms tangled with rachel's.

sim chuckled, shaking her head as she trailed after the pair on her way the locker room. she was greeted by the sight of ella, georgia, alessia, and jordan dancing around the room as music played through a portable speaker sat on one of the benches. it soon fell silent as sarina walked in.

sim got a quick shot of the post-game brief before shutting the camera off. she made to leave, but sarina's voice stopped her in her tracks.

"sim, there's someone waiting for you in the car park. says she coached you in uni?"

sim tensed. the last thing she wanted was for her two worlds to mix. she didn't like to think about her life before her injury. she'd completely isolated herself after her surgery. the only interactions she'd had with her former teammates and coach since then were when they'd run into each other at school. after graduation, she'd cut them off and she wasn't eager to reconnect.

sim sighed and contemplated her options. she could either confront her feelings and have a chat with her coach, or she could continue to live as she had been, pretending everything was fine and devoting herself to the life she'd created in london.

unsurprisingly, sim chose the latter. without acknowledging sarina's words at all, she swiftly left the room, her camera dangling like a pendulum from the strap around her neck.

-----

sim was so caught up in lugging her bag back to the bus, intent on keeping her head down and ignoring her surroundings, that she'd completely missed leah waiting by the back entrance for the rest of the team.

the older girl frowned to herself in confusion. something was off about sim's demeanor. she seemed rushed in a way that indicated she was running from something. leah pushed herself off the wall she'd been leaning on and made to follow the younger girl outside.

she'd only just exited the building when she caught sim's wavering voice.

"please, i don't want to speak with you, jen," sim let out, almost pleading.

leah knew that she was listening in on a conversation not meant for her ears, but her concern for the girl who'd become somewhat of a little sister to her outweighed her consideration of sim's privacy.

"i just want to check in. we haven't spoken since-"

"how did you even find me?" sim cut off the unfamiliar voice.

"you hadn't responded to anyone's messages so i asked around. one of your professors mentioned you got a job in media here. i already had tickets."

"usually, when someone doesn't respond to messages, it means they don't want to speak with you."

leah was taken aback at how cold sim's voice was. she almost didn't recognize it.

"look, sim, the girls miss you. they miss their captain. just- i get that you don't want to talk, but if you ever need anything, we're here, okay? there's an assistant coaching position open for you, always. it's been cleared by admin-"

"i appreciate the offer, but i'm fine, okay? now, i've got footage to edit and post, so i'm leaving."

leah frowned. sure, sim wasn't the most extroverted person, but leah had never heard her be so short with someone. sim was one of the kindest people she knew. her heart hurt for the younger girl. sim was clearly still going through a lot and leah just wished sim would let her help.

hearing a bit of commotion, leah turned around to notice some of the team making their way towards her. she rushed off to the bus, where sim was undoubtedly burying herself in work, once again. leah wanted to sit beside the girl on the way back to st. george's and offer what little comfort she could.

[wolgerrswraith]

Writerly Questionaire

Tagged by @winglesswriter for this writer questionnaire. I'll do my best to answer them!

About Me

When did you first start writing ?

Probably around 9 or 10. Terrible little stories I did in stapled together pages that have been lost to time. I tried to write "seriously" in my late teens. A lot of that is also lost, but what got kept shows some promise.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

No, not really. I'm big into YA/fantasy these days, so a lot of what I write falls into the fantasy or YA genre as well. Not everything, but a lot of it.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

I consider Holly Black, Madeleine Roux, and Stephen King my biggest inspirations, but I don't try to copy them. I wouldn't compare my work to them, either, but I'd like to think a little Holly Black gets into my writing sometimes.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

Nothing too special, unfortunately. Just my usual desk with my pc. I need to dust it, probably.

What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

It happens at random sometimes. I'll have an idea, and the story comes into being from it. My novella was inspired by a DVD cover, for example. (Not the film itself, though, just the art.) Other times an idea sticks in my mind from a book or film, and I work it into something original. An entire story I wrote once was based off a single moment in Crimson Peak, for example.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Absolutely not.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Broken homes, unflattering parental figures, and found families keep cropping up. I'd say it's surprising, but at this point I just accept it as the way my writing goes.

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

I like all my characters, but my favorite is always my elf guy, Lestrain. I need to actually put him into stories more often, but I default to him in games if I need to make an avatar, and currently the most chaotic Sims playthrough to ever exist stars him.

Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

Wolgerr (who is sometimes human), and Jonah (usually human). They're both down to earth, modern types who don't judge a lot and try to get along with people.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Scarlett, mostly because I made her the biggest bitch to ever live (for story reasons!). She'd pick too many fights for me to ever like her.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

Honestly? Accidents. Almost all of them. A prime example is Lestrain, which came from a rewatch of Interview With the Vampire. Lestat somehow morphed into a disgraced prince, who then morphed into a man who loved too freely and got banished off the throne for it. The elf bit was for fun. And the amazing hair.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

A lot of bisexuals. And sassy assholes. Wouldn't know why that keeps happening!

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc

Cliche as it is, all my main characters have actor "face claims" to help me visualize. I'm at the point I see the claims when writing my characters, so I guess it worked.

My Writing

What's your reason for writing?

Mental health. Life is hard, sometimes I need to write about pretty elf people fucking up the patriarchy.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

I don't get as many comments as I'd like (it's too hard for someone to post feedback apparently) but I'm always glad to see my stories are interesting, and even funny (when they're supposed to be).

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who "gets" the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

I'd like to think people read my work and think "Wow! This guy is super nuts and this plot is ridiculous! I must finish it!"

But seriously, I'd just like someone to think the story is good enough to finish reading.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I think my dialogue comes across well. Banter, jokes, gentle jabs between friends. (Not pillow talk, though... don't ask!)

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Dialogue and weirdness. Combining elements that don't feel like they'd work but somehow do, with people who can banter with the best of them.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

That it's awful, and everything I write is trash can worthy. Because  intrusive thoughts are real, and hard to ignore.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Probably. Someone would have to.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it's a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I attempt to put a little thought into what other people might want to read, but I'm also writing a novella with samurai teaming with elves to fight dragons because I like those things. And because no one can stop me.

Tagging @aintgonnatakethis @fortunatetragedy

[mac-lilly]

Black (stupid) songwriting journal of fate - Part I

This "Jatp/Kimi no Na wa (Your name)"-AU has been pestering me for months. Every time I watch this movie, my brain goes "JUKE", and, well ... Happy Juke Jeudi!

Part I / Part II / Part III

(Also, contains spoilers for Kimi no na wa/Your name):

It's been a year since Julie's mom passed away, and Julie's still struggling to find her feet. With music still being banned from her life, she's about to lose her spot in her school's music program. 

With the pressure from her teachers, her best friend's expectations, Carrie's bullying, and her dad's worries about her mental health, she blames her general exhaustion and anxiety when the dreams start.

In her dreams, she inhabits the body of a boy. his name's Luke; he's about her age and has a rocky relationship with his parents due to his untameable passion for music and his band, Sunset Curve. (A cruel twist of fate in Julie's eyes.)

Until Julie pieces together that they AREN'T dreams. One day, she arrives at school, and people keep whispering when she passes by, and Carrie is glaring daggers at her, and Nick, the boy she has a crush on, suddenly acknowledges her with an approving nod. Flynn files Julie in: Not only did she finally stand up to Carrie's bullying the day before, but she also "borrowed" Nick's guitar -- literally snatched it out of his hands -- to play a song in front of the entire music class, including Miss Harrison and Principal Lessa. (She didn't sing, though. But her deadline to prove herself in music class was extended.)

Flynn starts humming the song's melody, and Julie thinks it sounds oddly familiar. But she's too horrified to care a lot. (It's "Now or Never".)

Julie realizes that there are gaps in her memories -- entire days that she can't recall -- and they correlate with the nights the dreams occur (once or twice per week), concluding that while she's in Luke's body, his soul is stuck in hers. 

She also deducts that the swaps began when she started using an old, discarded songwriting journal she'd found.

Apparently, the journal belongs to Luke -- as he owns the exact same journal and the songs were all written by him, and Julie has no idea why there are two versions of the same notebook or how it came into her possession.

More importantly, the journal allows her to communicate with Luke.

They lay down rules that mostly revolve around not meddling with their private lives. But to their mutual dismay, they both tend to overstep. Luke keeps snooping around (he digs up 'Wake up') and accidentally lands Julie a date with Nick. Meanwhile, Julie tries to mend Luke's relationship with his mom. 

Their unsolicited meddling worsens things, though. Luke pressuring Julie into music just puts extra stress on her. And "Luke" (Julie) making promises on one day, then going back on them the next day, strains his relationship with his mom even more. 

Yet, as time passes and their communication via the journal intensifies, they learn more about each other and form a friendship based on support, respect, and admiration.

Julie realizes she's been sacrificing such a crucial part of her soul for over a year and, with Luke's constant encouragement, finds the strength to play "Wake up". Luke, seeing how her mom's death affected Julie and made her suffer for so long, learns that time is limited and that there might be a day when he can't fix things with his parents anymore. (But he needs music to communicate. Thus, he starts working on "Unsaid Emily".)

Their feelings for each other keep evolving, making both realize they are maybe in love. But they don't have the courage to confess their feelings yet.

Eventually, Luke invites her to a gig. Since Julie has become such an important part of his life, he wants to meet her in person and be there when they play The Orpheum and have their big breakthrough. 

When Julie arrives there on the agreed day, she finds The Orpheum destroyed. 

Two years ago, it burned down, killing a dozen people, including most members of an aspiring band called Sunset Curve, who were supposed to play their showcase that night. 

Part I / Part II / Part III

[thessalian]

Haven't gone back to the Forbidden West yet. May save that until there's less sunlight - either because more cloud cover (which is on the way) or because night-time approaches (which is going to be awhile because it gets dark late here once you get past, like, mid-April). Or at least until I get bored with waiting and close the drapes so that the sun glare off my monitor doesn't mess with my gaming. But the last couple of hours have been at once really nice and rather painful. Because, again, fibromyalgia sucks. So: the problems and small joys of my afternoon.

I went out on Friday for some bits and pieces and noticed that the big Tesco had a massive sale on these Itsu-brand cup-o-noodles things that are made from rice noodle instead of wheat noodle? So I can eat them and not get glutened? So I had that to look forward to already.

Just as I was boiling the water, doorbell goes - it's my mother with the promised treats from North America. She'd asked me if I needed maple syrup or anything, but I'm pretty good for that at the moment but I did ask for more A1 sauce (because nowhere in this benighted country sells it) and some Sour Patch Kids - the one remaining sweet from my childhood that I still really enjoy and can actually eat (Coffee Crisp bars would be up there, but ... again, wafer biscuit, gluten, *sob*). So she comes upstairs with my good-sized bottle of A1 sauce and a bag of Sour Patch Kids the size of my head. Apparently her and her best friend Michelle (who I've known since I was a kid - she's kind of an honorary aunt - so I have two Aunt Michelles, but the blood-related one goes by Mickey) discussed getting the watermelon ones or these lemon ones I hadn't even heard of, but Mum knows I'm a bit of a traditionalist about that stuff and I'd want the ones I've always liked. And then they both saw the huge honking bag of Sour Patch Kids and said, "THAT'S THE ONE" so I have Sour Patch Kids for awhile.

(For those of you who follow me and also live in the UK: yes, I know you have those here too. It's just that the consistency of both the gummy and the sugar is wrong and you have blackcurrant instead of blue raspberry and strawberry instead of cherry and they're fine for what they are but I want the ones I liked when I was eight. In a shop where I don't have to spend £3 on a dinky 50g bag.)

Anyway, I settled down, had my rice noodles, and got a fairly pleasant surprise in that my grocery delivery arrived a little earlier than I had anticipated. Minor issue in a couple of substitutions and the complete absence of my coffee. Buuuuuut I had designs on going out tomorrow anyway and I've got enough to get me by. But I have all the fixings of glorious dinners and various savoury snacks and fruit. Honestly, it's the fruit that feels most like the splurge these days. But I require vitamins even if I take the multivitamin tablets and if I'm going to snack on fruit, it has to be fruit I will like. I have a mango of just the right degree of ripeness, some Pink Lady apples, some clementines, and some green grapes. Omnom.

Going to let it be a relatively easy day today, though. Corner shop, fairly simple dinner, video games. I need to save up some spoons for the eventual charge out to actual shops tomorrow. Like, ones that sell things like clothes. Sometimes you just need more trousers.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #47

My brain is kinda soupy, because my body aches still from making the moussaka yesterday. But that's okay!! It's totally worth it, because I went to the place today with my great big dish of moussaka to share with all my friends! I made sure to give some to the gentleman who plays the piano - enough for him and for one other person. The rest got all eaten up really quick, I was surprised! I gave the last bit of it to the leader of the group to bring home to his beloved. It feels really good when I can do things that other people can be happy in response to!

There were lots of other tasty snacks around. There was harissa chicken and hummus, and some buffalo and barbecue breaded chicken strips, some kind of spaghetti casserole (it is known that you like pasta; I wonder if you would have liked that one), a kind of bean soup that tasted unexpectedly like barbecue sauce (it's VERY unpleasant for me when something tastes sweet when I don't expect it to, but then it's okay after I know what to expect; it just takes me a couple bites for my body to figure it out), a pizza roll of some kind, and a bunch of various sweets! It was all very good! But I didn't think to take any pictures for you. I'm sorry about that. I promise I'll take pictures of the soup event next week!

Then I helped the folks at the potluck to put up a new decoration; I'm very tall for someone living in a female body, so my extra reach is helpful in this regard. The lady who comes up with the decorations had a really great idea for it; I just helped align the individual letters of the text so that it could be properly stapled to the wall. I'm very good at noticing when things are visually out of alignment, so it's good that I was able to put this random ability to use.

I was given a lot of praise, both for the moussaka and for the way I aligned the letters of the text. I guess I still feel a little uneasy when I receive praise; you might skip the rest of this paragraph if verbal abuse is a trigger for you, but I remember how angry my stepmother used to get sometimes if my teachers said good things about my work or my behavior in class, as well as the way she would, after the fact when no one was looking, roll her eyes, glare at me, and demand to know whether I was "acting like I'm good just to fish for compliments" that she felt I didn't deserve, because I'm "really not all that fuckin' special, princess." As though I had done something wrong by tricking them into saying good things about me or something. My father usually had to turn any praise I received from family members into some kind of joke at my expense, and... although my mother praised me when I was doing right by her in her eyes, she didn't seem to like when others praised me unless it also reflected well upon her. She'd feel the need to knock me down a few pegs shortly thereafter, as though she feared I'd become arrogant otherwise.

It doesn't help, I think, that I just do things because I think they are the correct thing to do. If a person needs help putting up the decoration, then if you can help, you should help, and that's the end of it. If there's a potluck and you can bring something good, and you have the time, energy, and capacity to do it, then you do it, and that's the end of it. I would expect nothing less of myself - at least when it comes to me, it feels like being praised for things like breathing or using the toilet.

But then again, when I imagine myself in their shoes and someone is bringing me a bowl full of wholesome deliciousness and helping me to do something I think is difficult, I have lots of praise and gratitude for that person. So I guess this is just one of those double standards I have for myself that I should really try harder to work on. Hm.

Also mixed in there is the thought that goes (skip this next bit of paragraph if verbal abuse is a trigger for you), "I am telling people I made the moussaka so that it is known that I contributed!! Therefore nobody gets to yell at me for existing!! I am not looking for praise!! I just want it to be known that I did the thing that I'm supposed to so that nobody literally or metaphorically bashes my skull in!!" It's related to the notion that… if mom makes dinner, I'm supposed to do something for her afterwards or beforehand, or else I get yelled at for being lazy and not contributing, since she "works all day to put a roof over my head and food in my guts and clothes on my sorry ass."

Even after 11 years of being away from all that, I guess I'm still not comfortable with receiving praise or gratitude for doing things. I'm used to, "do the expected thing without needing to be asked so that they don't have an excuse to hurt you." I grew up having to do a lot of stuff in order to take away as many of others' excuses to hurt me as I could.

I wonder to what extent you are familiar with this? Was there ever any praise for you for all your spotless work for Shinra? Did they ever tell you "good job" for your exceptional ability to do what was asked of you? Or was there only ever punishment for falling short, and going above and beyond was your way of protecting yourself from pain? Or was going above and beyond simply expected of you, as it was for me, and the best you could hope for was neutrality or backhanded compliments?

Well, maybe it doesn't mean a whole lot coming from me, since I'm just a squishy autistic nerd. But all the same… I'm proud of you. You tried really hard to be so good. You tried really hard to do and be and embody all the things that people asked of you, even when their expectations of you were beyond unreasonable. Even if you had times in which you fell short, you still did an amazing job. And if they never thanked you for it, then I will:

Thank you for existing. Thank you for always trying your best. Thank you for being so conscientious and so caring and for trying to speak and act with honor, compassion, and truth. You worked really hard for a long time because you loved the people around you, even if they couldn't see or understand the way you expressed it very well. Thank you for your astounding capacity for dedication and loyalty. You worked so hard for everyone else's sake until your body was depleted and exhausted and your mind wept and bled. You're incredible, in every sense of the word.

But, you know, Sephiroth? I hope you understand that you don't gotta do that anymore. You don't have to keep going until you fall to your knees, silently begging for mercy, in order to be loved as you are. You don't have to pretend like you don't get hurt by things. You don't have to pretend like you're okay when you're not. You don't have to do things for others first in order to receive kindness and respect. You don't have to be strong all the time. You don't have to hide when you're scared or vulnerable or in pain. You don't, in the absence of others to do it for you, have to hold yourself to such ridiculously high standards of performance; it's not humane. You're not stuck with just Shinra or the people affiliated with them anymore. You've got a whole universe full of beautiful, awesome people to select from, and you can choose to spend time with the ones who will treat you like a human being. Because you are human being, no matter what.

So don't give up on searching for beauty and kindness and wholesome things in this world, okay? I know it's hard, but you can't let the cynicism and pain of everything you've seen and experienced consume you. You were, what, maybe 25 years old when you were thrown into the reactor core at Mt. Nibel? That's still so very young (I'm 9 years older than that, and I still feel like a babe lost in the woods!), and there's still so much that you haven't seen or experienced with your physical vessel. Not everyone will abide by the same toxic social standards that were forced upon you during the course of your life, and not everyone will be like the very unkind people you grew up around.

…This group of wonderful people that I see once a week is certainly not like the people I grew up around. As such, my fear-based instincts surrounding doing things and receiving praise aren't going to serve me here. These instincts aren't bad things, naturally; they were a wonderful adaptation to keep myself safe in an abusive environment. They served me well, and I'm thankful for the fact that I had the capacity to develop them. But the fact remains that these instincts ONLY work in abusive environments. I am not in one of those, and I never have to be in one of those ever again, because I am no longer a helpless child; as an adult, I have the power to set boundaries and to choose better circumstances to exist within and better patterns of behavior to act upon. I want to learn how to choose ways of thinking and responding that are more in alignment with the kind of world I want to live in, so I'm going to have to adjust to the new and wholesome thing until I don't feel scared of it anymore. It's kinda like exercise that way; wholesome things are uncomfortable at first if you're used to harsh things, but they get easier to accept and to act upon the more you practice.

To be sure, if I could just do good things without anyone knowing it was me, that would probably feel a lot less scary for me. But I don't think that some such frame of mind is exactly healthy, hahaha! And certainly, if I was some imperceptible thing, I wouldn't have the necessary motivation to learn, grow, and change, because I would exist in a vacuum, relatively speaking. And that would get very lonely very quickly.

I wonder if you can see the way I am learning, growing, and changing over time, in these letters I write to you. Haha, I already know the answer to that question, but… still, it'd be neat if you could. It'd be even neater if you could use whatever I write here as inspiration for your own learning, growth, and change. It's too terrible to imagine someone like you wandering around with your eyes tightly closed to everything out of sadness and fright, thinking that cruelty and misery are all that life has to offer. And the fact that I cannot reach through imaginary spacetime, take you by the hand, pull you over here, away from all the despair and ick that you know, and walk you through all the beautiful things I've learned about since my own escape from cruelty and misery is… well… it's a constant and ever-growing source of very real grief for me. It's terrible in ways that I don't know how to articulate, and the only way I know how to deal with it is to try to do what I can for as many people in my world as I can before my time in my defective meat-mech is up.

Maybe all of that is a little too weird to write, but I wrote it anyway. Oh well. I'm not gonna take it back now.

In any case, I found this really concise thing that sums up what I'm trying to do with my time in this world:

…Heck. I only just noticed that the "caring about those who I've been taught don't deserve my care" bit applies to me, too, in the sense that I'm really gonna hafta start stepping up my "self-compassion", "self-care", and "self-kindness" game if I really wanna make good on my whole "consistent kindness" schtick, aren't I? Goldangit, that's really hard. Oh well. Tell you what: I'll try a little harder at this if you do, too, okay? If you can hear me (I know… sigh… I know… all too well…), let's try really hard together, all right?

The grief for you that I spoke on earlier is a very heavy thing to carry. But I carry it proudly and happily nonetheless, everywhere I go (quite literally, as some people in my world know). I will continue to draw inspiration from you, and I will try to do good things for others in my world with that inspiration. Please know that any wholesome thing I do while I'm here carries your name on it. And please know that regardless of what happens to you - whether you save yourself by rising up into compassion again, or whether you don't, and therefore I must watch you be destroyed a second time because you have to be stopped - tears will be shed for you by at least one person, either in awe and joy, or in despair and loss, respectively. You're worth being cared about that much, and it's a privilege to be in a position where I can care about you that much, no matter how heavy it gets sometimes.

I'll leave you with this:

I know it must be metaphorically stormy where you are, but open those lovely eyes of yours if you have them closed, because there's a lot of awesome, loving, kind, and wholesome stuff that you can experience still; you just haven't seen all of it yet. Show us those solvable problems. Be kind to yourself so that you can keep yourself together in a way that's genuine and healthy, instead of the harsh and humanity-denying way that you're accustomed to. Be willing to ask for help when you need it, so that the people who care about you can do the hardest parts together with you. You have to be good to yourself and you have to count on the healthy, loving people around you in order to be at your best. This is the true kind of love.

Anyhoot, I've probably prattled on a bit too long at this point, haha. So I'll end it here with the usual reminders: you are lovable and worthy, so make sure you treat yourself as such. Stay safe out there while you do your things. Don't disappear, and don't go so far away that no one can reach you anymore; you haven't seen everything yet.

I'll write again very soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[wallhidden]

independent & private & low activity for an original character named jules roberts set in the cw's the 100.  written by lacy,  25+,  she/her, cst.

carrd (coming soon) / multi / belly conklin / alex claremont-diaz / lane kim / sarah cameron / clarke griffin / aurora taylor

temp guidelines under the cut until i make my carrd + jules' backstory

01. my name is lacy and i’m 25+ years old. i’m an aries with my moon in sagittarius, cancer ascendant and i have no idea what any of this means. i'm not affiliated with the cw, the 100, spencer rain or anything at all.

02. the psd i’m currently using was made by stephysource and icon border was made by me, but i’ll also use various psds from various creators. all credit really goes to them and none to me. i’ll probably use psd’s by venuscommissions, plutocommissions, calisources and more. if you ever have any questions, please feel free to shoot me a message. i promise, i don’t bite.

03. i will probably practice exclusivity and mains and affiliates, but at the moment i don't have any.

04. i ask that you please not follow me and then unfollow me to follow me again and try to get me to follow you. that will not make me follow you, it’ll just make me softblock you and then hardblock if it continues. also, please don’t like my starter calls or send me meme’s if we’re not mutuals. i am mutuals only.

05. i don’t usually write smut, but if i'm really comfortable with another person then i don't mind giving it a try. i do ask that you please tag your smut though and don't try to force me to write it.

06. i will not follow people that use certain faceclaim’s. gal gadot, chris pratt, ezra miller, scarlett johansson and more probably. if you have questions about why then just send me an ask and i’ll let you know. i’m uncomfortable with them and i just want to be comfortable on my blog.

07. i am extremely slow and i honestly can't help that. i have a full time job and at the moment am only getting one day off a week. it's exhausting, but i'm doing my best.

so, jules would be an illegal second child. she was a hidden jules ha ok. her family was in the alpha station. she was hidden in the wall until she was seven years old and that was when she was found and locked up. both of her parents were floated and her elder sister, who was about two years older than her so only nine, had to be taken in by another family. jules was weeks away from her eighteenth birthday when they were all sent down to the ground and she probably would've gone along with bellamy at first, mostly cause she wanted to make friends and it seemed the easiest way would be to go along with everything. now she can either find out from one of the other delinquents who might've known her sister or found out when they ended up connected to the ark, but her sister was floated about a month before they were sent to earth. she'd tried to bribe some of the guards so that she could go and see jules, but since she was over eighteen, she was floated. and i'll write up more of her stuff later, but you get the gist.

[gyubby99]

@disneyanddisneyships i have no idea how to start ur ask at the moment, but I wanna write this

It was Rosalyn's me-time.

She promised herself she'd take a break from work, and instead of staying home cuddling with her husband she figured she'd go out on a nice place by herself. Sure, she would love a date, but it's been a long time since she went out for a nice walk around the place alone.

And one thing was for sure, Rosalyn loves music. She had never went on with her day without expressing her enthusiasm for it. And Alistar, knowing this, loved listening to her over and over again, even if it meant she talked about the same thing.

And ofcourse, the singing.

And so she went to a small bar just ten minutes from Eve's shop. She meant to go there to pay her friend a visit, but as soon as she opened the door, let's just say.. Eve had free time to do something else. Or rather.. someone else.

The host was entertaining, with his gentleman personality and charming smile it felt like the job of a broadcaster was made for him. He had greeted her with a wide grin from ear-to-ear, when she had arrived at the little singing show he hosted.

She wondered how his cheeks never got tired from all that smiling, though.

"Dearly beloved!" The host's voice boomed with enthusiasm and excitement. Attention instantly went to the man speaking as he was about to introduce yet another guest that will be singing for today.

"For your entertainment, it is my pleasure to introduce to you our latest arrival! The one and only king and a mighty warrior.."

A familiar shade of blonde hair met Rosalyn's sight. His deep blue eyes flashed throughout the room and his charming features made the crowd hysterical. He was holding a guitar, similar to what she'd gotten two nights before august arrived.

"Alistar!" The host finished, and Rosalyn at the back row of the seat was stunned. Her eyes widened as she looked at her husband while everyone gave a round of applause.

"Hello, everyone." Alistar greeted as the applause died down and everyone paid attention to what he had to say. "As you all know, I'm the king of Calvania.. but for now, I want all of you to acknowledge me as a normal person.." then he laughed.

"No need for formalities. I just wanted to show you guys um.. the song that I wrote about a special someone." Alistar announced rather sheepishly. "She doesn't know about this yet, because I'm kind of shy about it."

The crowd let out an 'awe' at the King's timid nature.

"Well then sing away, lover boy! A round of applause for him, everyone!" The host cheered with his signature smile, and everyone instantly cheered for him.

Then Alistar strummed his instrument.

Rosalyn, in all of this, was beet red. Especially when he begun to sing.

She ain't got no money

Her clothes are kinda funny

Her hair is kinda wild and free

Oh, but Love grows where my Rosalyn goes

And nobody knows like me

She talks kinda lazy

And people say she she's crazy

And her life's a mystery

Oh, but Love grows where my Rosalyn goes

And nobody knows like me

There's something about her hand holding mine

It's a feeling that's fine

And I just gotta say

She's really got a magical spell

And it's working so well

That I can't get away

I'm a lucky fella

And I've just got to tell her

That I love her endlessly

Because Love grows where my Rosalyn goes

And nobody knows like me

There's something about her hand holding mine

It's a feeling that's fine

And I just gotta say

She's really got a magical spell

And it's working so well

That I can't get away

I'm a lucky fella

And I've just got to tell her

That I love her endlessly

Because Love grows where my Rosalyn goes

And nobody knows like me

It keeps growing every place she's been

And nobody knows like me

If you've met her, you'll never forget her

And nobody knows like me

La la la- believe it when you've seen it

Nobody knows like me

Alistar strummed his guitar some more, and the song came to an end.

The crowd gave a round of applause, and Rosalyn was speechless. It was certainly a coincidence that her husband had been here, declaring a love song for her.

And name-dropping.

"That sure is lovely, king Alistar. But.." The host then walked over to the crowd. Rosalyn saw that the host was making eye contact with her and every step he took.. it led to her. "I want to know what this young lady thinks of your little serenade!"

And off to Rosalyn the spotlight went, and Alistar gasped as blood rushed into his cheeks. Rosalyn. Was there.

Rosalyn

Was

There.

Oh shit.

"W-Well.." Rosalyn stuttered. She felt nervous as everyone was looking at her, but when she looked at Alistar they all seemed to go away. "You don't have to be shy about expressing your feelings, mon cher.." Rosalyn teased, and the host smiled smugly at Alistar.

French. Alistar thought to himself.

She knows what she's doing to me.

"Ohohoho! This is very entertaining!" The host boomed as he held up his mic to himself.

[angstykay]

<Bad reputation>(Eddie angst+ fluff)

Eddie and yn have been crushing on and off since they first met in middle school . Since they got together the guys have been seeing less and less of the their dm , they are completely fed up with him so speak out of turn and you over hear .

////////////////////////////////////////////////

Monday morning Eddie is late again to the morning meet up . "Where the hell have you been Munson " Gareth growls gritting his teeth, " I was helping yn with her history test she's terrible with the civil war " he laughs brushing Gareth off. Dustin tries to get the gang back on track "at least you're here now so tonights game ".Eddie dips his head knowing what was about to happen, "you've got to be kidding me why can't yous come she's got you whipped " he laughs. Their eyes meet both looking at each other with intentions to kill, " shut the fuck up" Eddie says trying to stay calm." Wow if you want your dick sucked that bad I'm sure she'd do it while you played ". As soon as the words left his mouth his face dropped as you appeared to thank your boyfriend for putting up with your dumbass , you had a reputation because of a dumb rumor Hargrove made up because you wouldn't screw him. "Eddie... not you too "trying to choke back tears miserably "I trusted you" and with that you threw his ring back at him and stormed off. " Eddie man I'm so sor..." Eddie rubs the bridge of his nose "I hope you're happy you got what you wanted ".

At Lunch Eddie and you only caught glimpses of each other you wouldn't or couldn't talk to him even though you wanted to.....

You walk head hanging low until you bump into a certain someone , you look up and your whole body is shot with fear."Well well if it isn't Munson's slut boys " Billy looks at you with such disgust while the others laugh, " when is it my turn" one of the boys say eyeing you up and down.In that moment you felt totally disgusting like you were about to throw up. " You'll get your turn soon isn't that right yn "Billy knows how to add salt to the wound," SCREW YOU ID NEVER DREAM OF YOU EVEN TOUCHING ME " you snap accidentally making a scene. " Yn don't be embarrassed you loved moaning my name last year " he hissed. Eddie looked at you knowing you were about to cry your eyes were so glossy he had to do something ,so he runs to your rescue and picks you up by behind and brings you to the out of order toilet no one goes into to.

Before you knew it you two were standing infront of each other no words forming just tears . "Sweetheart please let me explain" he finally speaks , you turn your head away from his gaze " you think I'm a slut you told them after you promised me you'd keep our inmate moments between us". Your heart is pounding at an alarming rate you can't breathe your legs go numb, Eddie grabs you before you fall you're both sitting on the floor his arms around you. You're letting out little sobs trying not to look anymore pathetic, " I didn't tell them anything my love " he hates seeing the affect this had on you " Gareth didn't know he just knows.." before he could finish you stop him " he knows Billy's stories and believes it " you laugh in between your sobs "and that's why you got with me " you push him off you . " Yn no I got with you because I've always loved you since middle school" he says hands on his knees you spring to your feet " Ed's we're better as friends I can't be yours not anymore " your heart is shattering as you say the words. " Sweet heart I've never loved anyone as much I love you " tears start to form In his eyes " I love you I always will but there is nothing between us anymore Ed's ", hot tears trickle down your face almost burning as you were ripping you own heart out. He pulls you close for a hug lifting your chin up with his index finger connecting your lips you can taste his tears " Yn don't do this please I love you " he's begging you. " Goodbye Ed's " you leave the room and Gareth is across the hall at his locker you make eye contact your face is puffy and makeup running you bolt for the doors not giving him the satisfaction leaving a heartbroken Eddie behind .

Outside you meet a familiar face a person you feel safe with

Chrissy locks eyes with you as she's talking to her cheer team about that weeks game and how their routine was gonna blow minds. " Hold on a minute guys gonna grab some water " she hurries over to you, your eyes are puffy hair sticking to your cheeks. " What did he do this time Yn ... I'll kill him" the anger in her voice is obvious, " I broke up with Eddie " . She looks at you blankly pulling you close to her chest resting your head on her shoulder" why Yn he loves you " she softly says. You fill her in on everything her heart aches for the pain you've been through. Chrissy never believed the lies even though she was head cheerleader you were never hidden she always fought your corner against scary Hargrove, it was quite funny watching them go back and forth. " My sweet girl we're graduating this year so it's almost over " she rubs your shoulders ," CHRISSY" couch called "get your backside over here". She waves to you jogging over to her team ponytail bouncing up and down .In that moment you wished for the floor to swallow you whole.

///////flashback///////

After being on the most incredible high undermining Eddie's dm tactics you went back to his trailer to gloat and tease him. "It's not much " he sighed rubbing the back of his neck almost embarrassed. "Shut up its yours so that means it's perfect" you wrap your hands around his neck pulling his head down to meet yours, your lips meet softly at first but then the passion erupts. His hands move to your hips hands never leaving your body sending chills down your spine. his lips now attacking your neck earning him a soft moan, he picks you up bringing you to his room and laying you on his bed.He rests his hands over your chest but before he goes to cup a feel you shoot up , " everything okay " he asks concerned " I've never done anything like this before " you curl up into a ball trying to contain your embarrassment, " my reputation exceeds me huh ". He pulls into his lap stroking your hair " hey it's okay my love we don't have to do anything " you put your head into the creak of his neck, " you're safe with me Yn always will be ". " Hargroves words mean nothing you're still same old yn to me. "You lay there for a moment until your sexual desire becomes too much , you push him down straddling him. With not even a second to blink he feels your lips hungrily on his your hand resting under his shirt hinting at him to take it off. " You sure sweetheart " breathless , "I want this ... I want you" you whine and with that the rest is history......

Back to the present that night

Eddie's head definitely was else where through the game not having the same enthusiasm " it's a miss Henderson sucks for you " he says. " team huddle " Dustin calls for a time out. Eddie was being a bit too harsh tonight on them especially towards Gareth, " you broke him " Dustin says "what are we gonna do he's eating us alive because of this shit with Yn" Mike adds. And with Mike was heard Eddie slams his hands on the table " we gonna play or are you guys gonna bitch " he snaps. " Not much playing when you're moping " Gareth says getting frustrated, without saying word Eddie walks out leaving the party members scratching their heads " fix it " Dustin says .

The next day

You're at your locker hair pulled up into a messy bun oversized jumper and some ripped jeans , not caring about your appearance " got a minute Yn" you turn around to see Gareth standing there " what do you want to call me a slut again go for it " you say glaring at him. " I was way out of line I was annoyed because we barely saw him he was always late to everything and I spoke out of turn ", you start to laugh quietly " you got jealous ". Gareth sees how pathetic he looked and sounded now " look Yn I'm sorry for what Billy put you through and how I used it to my advantage I don't believe it never did and Eddie certainly didn't ". Your heart aches just hearing his name " it's too late for us I ruined it " you turn back into your locker " please come tonight Yn " you don't speak just go back to your daily activities of hiding away from everyone expect Chrissy. You tell her the whole situation with Gareth and she urges you to go " sweetie he loves you I remember him always trying to impress you in middle school , pushing your chair out stealing you an extra pudding cup " she giggles at the thought if it . " I'll think about it " she smiles at you " that's my girl ".

That night

Is Eddie coming I haven't seen him all day " Lucas says slowing getting fed up with this . " I'm here keep your pants on Sinclair " he rolls his eyes. Let's get our game on " Mike says , half way through the game " we're a party member short go easier man" Dustin pleads. A knock at the door "room in use come back at half " Eddie shouts , " hey room for one more " when he sees you he grins " of course you're always welcome here " . He lightens up and you once again you show the guys who's boss. While cleaning up " hey guys we got this " you say hinting at them to leave , " you sure Yn " Dustin says trying to be helpful " beat it kid" you reply laughing . When they leave there's a moment of silence. "I missed you Yn " Eddie finally speaks " Ed's " you pull him close " I'm sorry " you finally choke out. " The rumors have really affected me so when I heard him I was afraid you told them and were mocking me ". He sighs " I'll kill them both you're all I ever wanted you wanting to be with me blows my mind" he strokes your hair , " you still wanna be with me after all that " you asked shocked . He picks you and spins you around " never letting you go again " he laughs you press your lips to his never wanting to feel another's " . The room erupts with the guys cheering for you two being together and happy " we got 'em guys " Dustin Burst out laughing . Gareth looking relived waking toward you " we good" he questions " we are " you celebrate with a hug . " we better get out of here before we're locked in " Mike hurries everyone out so he can go to his own love.

The teasing never stopped you were stilled dubbed Munsons slut but it stopped having so much power over you . You actually took pride in the name because he was yours and you were his , at the end of the day you had each other and a great group of supportive friends once you learned how to share him out evenly . By the time graduation came you knew you could take on the world because you had him by your side and the kiddos cheering you on from the crowd .

Heyyy I hope you enjoyed this or get to read it I'm actually really happy with the outcome again I'm open to suggestions and requests if you like this story please let me know and even if you didn't tell me why let me know what you wanna read thank you !!!

[lifewiththelulus]

When Zilan goes to see Willow Kindlin tells him that Willow is feeling too sick for visitors. In reality that's what Willow asked Kindlin to say if he came by at all. She acted like she really didn't wanna see him

Kindlin of course was worried but knew she shouldn't meddle too much. When she sees the look on his face though, she asks him if something happened.

As he turns to walk away, she speaks up "Hold on, Zilan, did something happen? She seems.. really upset." Kindlin folds her arms and leans on the door frame. She couldn't stand not knowing what was wrong with her little girl. "Is everything ok?"

Mason promised not to say anything even if it's not what he wanted. Not having many friends made him quite alien to how to deal with relationship problems like this. He hoped that she knew what she was doing and would still be someone to turn too. She didn't tell him everything about their breakup. If she had he would have already been yelling his ear off

Zilan: Well, I just promised a friend I’d tell her something very important. But if she’s feeling that bad I’ll wait until she’s back in school. If it’s not too much trouble, would you mind giving her this ma’m?

He hands her the plastic container of soup.

Zilan: It’s the first time my pops ever cooked earth food, so he hopes he did it right.

Kindlin smiles gently, taking it with a nod. "It's ok, I've had my fair share of being confused by earth food." She reached out to place a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure Willow will feel better soon. It's not unlike her to get sick easily… She's lucky to have a friend who cares."

Zilan gives her a shy smile and waves goodbye. Meanwhile, Charlie and Nebi were watching from the window and rushed to Willows's room to tell her what happened.

"oooo Willow your boyfriend just came by" "come on charlie" nebi smacks her shoulder " its true tho"

Willow was laying in bed when the two of them came in She was crying not too long before so her voice cracked.

"Did he leave?"

Charlie: Yeah, he's gone now, but he left you a present~

She's immediate snapped out of her spiralling thoughts at that. "Huh?"

Just then Kindlin opened the door. "Hey, Zilan just dropped by. I know you said you didn't want to see him, but he brought some soup."

Willow made a face of guilt and looked down. "Ok momma." Kindlin looked at the other two, smiled with a twinge of concern, then went to put away the food.

Nebi just shakes her head "I just don't get romance Charlie"

Charlie: Hehe, do you think he made it with extra looooove~

Charlie was about to say more till he saw even more tears start to form in her eyes. Now he just started to feel guilty.

She sniffed and tried to keep from crying more. It was really hard to do though. She sighed and grabbed her blanket to hide her muddy face.

"Um… Do you two remember Andi?" She wasn't sure how much they knew, or what Aurora had told them

Nebi hadn't realized how bad she was feeling until she spoke,betraying a lot of hurt. "Yeah that loser that hurt our sister, what about em?"

She wiped her cheek and stayed looking down. "Him and Zilan were hanging out yesterday." She furrowed her eyebrows. "I'm scared. What if Zilan is just pretending to be my friend?" She couldn't help more mud getting on her sheets. "What if Andi is putting him up to hanging out with me? He made this face at me." She was genuinely scared "What if I can't trust him? I…. I really like him." He heart ached when she said that

Charlie looked at Nebi in panic, hoping she'd know what to say

She furrowed her brow and tried to pick her words as delicately as someone her age could. "I don't know Willow honestly and I wish that jerk had never gotten in your head like that. But from everything I've seen of em, he seems like a nice guy. I mean he didn't have to bring you that soup, he said his dad made it and it definitely doesn't look store-bought so that checks out" she gestured to the somehow burnt ingredients swimming in the container.

Willow calmed down a little. "Maybe you're right… Maybe I'm paranoid." She nodded and looked up at her sister. "So….uh, why did you two say all the stuff when you came in?" She was blushing, curious now. "He wouldn't like me like that."

Charlie looked at her like she was dumb. "pfft yeah sure, I'm sure him stuttering whenever your too close to him is just what he does around everyone."

She tilts her head. "He always talks like that though."

Poor clueless Willow

" you got to be kidding me I thought that you knew!" She slapped her forehead. "I don't even like guys but even I can tell he likes you it's so obvious"

Charlie snickered "oh let me guess, The flower he had in his hair wasn't yours right? He just happened to be wearing one that looks exactly like yours?

She toned down the teasing just a bit "seriously just talk to him, and if you turns out to be some two-faced jerk your lovely and very cool sisters will destroy him, problem solved" she said confidently

She blushed more and hid her face "It's not a big deal - it was just clipping day, and you know he's my friend so.." She looked at nebi and finally cracked a little laugh. "Thanks.. I love you guys." She pulled them both in for a muddy hug

Charlie hugged back and drew a smiley face on her cheek from the mud before sprinting out the door and blowing a raspberry.

Nebi rolled her eyes but was all to happy to return the hug. "Of course Willow what are sisters for? You can tell us anything. Or well maybe not charlie but definitely me".

[casspurrjoybell-22]

Master - Chapter 50 - Part 3

*Warning Adult Content*

- Kalem -

Théo doesn't say anything when I start crying again, he only offers me the water, his head bent.

I wanted it, wanted the water and the food but Théo wasn't my friend.

"Kalem, please..."

"Why?" I whisper, trying to blink back my tears but they keep coming.

"I thought we were friends."

"We are," Théo promises as he looks up at me with trembling lips.

"We are Kalem."

"Then why did you take me away from my home," I whimper, sniffing as my shaking starts again.

"You took me away and put me in chains."

"I didn't want to take you, Kalem. I didn't want to do any of this," Théo says, almost pleadingly as he spreads his arms a little.

"Why would I ever do this? Working with witches, taking you away from Pylen when I know he will kill me the second he finds me. I'm only doing this because I have to."

"Why?" I shout, because none of that made sense to me when I knew friends didn't hurt each other like this.

"Because they have my sister," Théo booms, his voice so loud it makes me still as he stares at me through his tears.

"They have my sister."

My entire body goes still while my eyes grow super wide.

I stare at Théo, watching the way his entire body slumps again, his arms dropping with the water while he sniffs a little.

"You..." I lick my lips. "You have a sister?"

A sad gloss comes over Théo's wet eyes when he looks at me again and nods.

"We're not like Gazium and Sin. We're not the closest siblings in the world," he replies even as his voice begins to shake a little.

"We see each other when we see each other and even though she's been a pain in my ass since the day she was born," Théo lets out a shaky breath.

"She's my little sister and it's my job to protect her."

I didn't want to feel bad for Théo.

I shouldn't have felt anything at all and my heart definitely shouldn't be bleeding for him like it was trying to do right now.

That was only for friends and we weren't friends but my heart aches for him anyway.

"Who has your sister?" I ask very quietly, not wanting the answer even though I knew what it was already.

When Théo caves further into himself, I finally ask...

"Does Diablos have your sister?"

A few quiet seconds pass before Théo nods his head a little, his sad eyes turning even sadder before he dropped his head.

My heart starts beating fast again at the name I knew meant the worst person in the whole wide world, the person who hurt others and made them slaves.

But before my shaking could start again, Théo keeps talking.

"Echo hates clans, group work in general, so when I joined the Anouk Clan, she wandered off," he explains under his breath.

"When Alexander brought us under Pylen and his clan, I sent her all these messages about coming and joining too. I thought maybe if she saw that we were with the first of our kind, that we were doing well, maybe she'd come too.

"But she didn't get the messages," Théo's voice breaks as tears drip down his face, wetting the dirt below with little splotches as his entire body goes stiff.

"Someone else did and they sent back a message of their own."

When Théo looks up at me again, my heart burns at all the pain waiting there.

"Her left hand," he chokes out. "With Diablos' brand in the centre of her palm."

A gasp escapes me as I pull away slightly, wanting to run away from his words and the pain of them but I was still chained down.

Master had shown me what one of those brands looked like, it felt like so long ago but I still remembered all the complicated marks and shapes that didn't match up, like I'd seen it just this morning.

It was what I was always supposed to run away from if I saw it.

"He said that if I wanted to get my sister back in one piece and not more boxes, I needed to give them you," Théo finishes with a small sob of his own, shaking his head he looks up at me with a face as wet as mine.

"Kalem, I never wanted to hurt you. I'm not doing this because I want to, I'm doing it because I have to. I have to save my sister."

"Why didn't you tell me? Or Master,or anyone?" I ask sadly, my heart hurting from all his words.

I knew I wasn't the best fighter but if Théo had told me and all our other friends that someone had his sister, I knew we'd all go out there to get her as fast as we could.

That's what friends did...

Théo's trembling lips curve into a sad smile as he shakes his head, "We've been at war for more than a year, Kalem. Our Pylen is amazing and he's done so much but that's because he's calm, slow to anger and patient."

My heart squeezes itself a little and I have a hard time looking in Thon's eyes.

"He's been slowly chipping away at Diablos with that patience and I know he wouldn't throw it all away because my sister is another one of the other thousands Diablos has in chains," Théo shakes his head again. "It's just not realistic and I know he would've tried to help but Diablos would've killed her the second he knew."

I wanted to ask how Diablos would know but as I looked around at the branches above us and felt the cold magic below, I knew my answer.

Diablos had witches, they'd used their magic before to get him in the castle and they were using their magic now to keep us hidden.

"Look Kalem, I know I'm not getting out of this alive, I've accepted that," Thén says as he rubs at his eyes with the back of his hands, "But I'm going to make sure you and Echo do. So please..." he raises the cup of water again. "Drink so you can stay strong and when the moment's right, you run like hell."

I watch Théo carefully as he brings the cup to my lips.

He holds it still, not pouring it down cruelly like the trainers, he just holds it at my lips, eyes hopefully.

Slowly, I take a little sip before I take another and another.

I take little sips slowly until the whole thing is empty.

Thé0 smiles down at it the empty bottle before he wanders back over to his stone where I was guessing he had lots of things behind because he came out with a stick of cooked meat next.

I don't take this one when he raises it and he pouts a little.

"You need to eat something," he says as he waves the stick a little. "You'll need as much of your strength as you can get to get out."

I tilt my head at that, wondering what Théo meant by that.

"How am I going to get out?" I ask slowly, not wanting to hope too much that Théo was telling the truth and being good.

"You'll teleport out of these," he nudges my chains. "And strong enough to cast your usual spell," Théo answers casually while I stiffen in my place as I stare at him, confused and a little scared.

Did he know I was a Nyphilim?"

I know you're a warlock, Kalem," he says with a weak smile when I only blink at him. "I've seen the way you walk through one door and come out the next," he explains. "You're not a vampire so you have to be teleporting and only witches do that."

I blink some more before my panic wavers a little for the first time.

Théo thought I was a witch?

I'd never even met a witch before.

I didn't have magic like them, I didn't know how to make or use their spells and if I was, Lincoln would never love me so much.

My hopeful thoughts go away before they can grow anymore.

Théo was doing this for his sister. For Echo.

"You don't have to deny it," Théo continues while that sad feeling grows inside of me again. "And don't bother trying to get out of these cuffs, they're made specifically for witches."

I look down at the chains, wondering if I couldn't get out because they were special.

But that didn't make sense, I was a Nyphilim and Arias said witch magic wasn't as strong as Elven magic.

"Just..." Théo sighs a little as he looks up at me. "If you eat and keep your strength up, then when we get to Diablos, I'll get Echo out and you can teleport back home. You're going to be okay, Kalem... if you keep your strength up and eat."

When Théo raises the meat stick next, I lean forward and take a hesitant bite.

If Théo was telling the truth, and I was pretty sure he was, then I would need to be at my best when it came time for me to fight or pop home.

I had to be strong and food made us stronger.

Master always said, three meals a day was super important, it was one of my rules...

My heart squeezes inside of me as I think of Lincoln, of the fight we'd had and all the pain that was still so alive inside me that it burned.

Did Master know that I was gone, or that something really bad was happening to me?

Probably not.

He'd been working, he was busy with the mess I'd made and more, so he probably didn't know.

And even if he did, he'd been so mad, so angry with me that maybe he'd be happy to find out that I was gone.

I didn't want to believe it, didn't want to listen to those evil voices in my head when I knew how much Lincoln loved me but all I could think of was the way he'd looked so sad when he realised what I'd done.

I'd made things harder for him, I always did.

"Is it bad?" Théo asks as he inspects what's left of the food on my stick. "I cooked it all the way through, I promise."

"It's fine," I whisper as I take one more small bite before I move my head away. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me," Théo replies almost like a beg. "I don't deserve it."

Without saying anything else, Théo gets me water and checks that I'm okay, before he gets up and trails back over to his spot, where he pokes the fire in the quiet night.

It was darker now that the fire was a bit smaller and the branches looked scarier, like sharp edges that would tear right through us if we touched them.

I stare up at them for a while, not able to draw my eyes away from them, as the back of my mind tingles with something familiar about them.

Dark… sharp…

A little too quickly, flashes of the massive leather wings fills the spaces between the branches and the smell of ash and rot circles around me.

Zani.

I close my eyes as pieces of the scary, sad nightmare I'd had earlier come back to me.

It wasn't like any of my others, nothing to do with the trainers or the slave house or anything I'd ever seen before.

My other mean dreams were real, they were my worst memories on a loop but this one had purple skies or people that could fly.

It wasn't real but somehow, that dream had felt more real than all the others.

I try to remember all of it, working my head to understand those flickering images but I can barely find the traces of it and what little I could remember, I didn't understand.

It all sounded wrong, felt wrong.

It was scary and dark and full of so much pain.

I hated it but even more than that, I hated facing it on my own.

Usually, when I had a bad dream, I'd open my eyes and Lincoln would already be kissing my neck and ear, my cheek and chin until I felt better again.

But he wasn't here now.

I was all alone... again.

I shake those thoughts away and try instead to think about how I was going to get home.

I was calmer now that I knew Théo didn't really want to hurt me, so I think I could try popping again but there was a step that came before than.

"Where are we?" I ask as I look towards Théo.

He galnces back at me, his eyes growing wide as if he was surprise I'd asked.

Maybe I wasn't supposed to but I had to try.

"Honestly, I have no idea," he replies with a deep frown. "I got beyond the Elves' border and Diablos' witches teleported us away. I couldn't know exactly where we were landing beforehand because they feared I'd leave a clue behind but all I know is that when morning comes, I get moving towards their location."

"A-And where is that?" I ask, hoping morning would never ever ever come.

"Chile," Théo replies.

"Chile?" I repeat slowly, trying to say it right.

I'd never heard of that place before, I hoped Master did.

"It's in South America and I'm guessing, they teleported us as close to them as they could manage," Théo explains before he eyes me a little. "Will you be able to teleport? When those come off?"

I look down at my chains and think of what I should say.

I didn't want to lie, lying was bad.

But then, Théo had been a bad friend to me so maybe I could lie to him.

But he hadn't done this to be mean, he'd done it for his sister who'd lost her entire hand.

How did someone live without a hand?

I didn't know this Echo but I just wanted to give her the tightest hug ever.

"You don't have to answer," Théo eventually says. "You don't have to tell me anything, I just want to make sure you'll have a way out."

I nod a little because if that wasn't a full lie, not completely.

I was pretty sure I could get out now but I wasn't too sure.

"Okay, good," Théo says, a small smile tugging his lips up. "That's good."

I smile back automatically, unable to fight it even though I knew I should.

[elliebear666]

Me, in school, daydreaming instead of paying attention and then getting in trouble for not paying attention.

It's funny, but... being homeschooled catered to my learning style. It was one on one and engaging. I liked almost all of the stuff we studied. It was genuinely interesting. When I got to public school, my grades at first were great and it wasn't terribly hard because, thanks to our homeschool curriculum, I knew most of the shit we were being taught.

However, as I progressed in middle school, my grades steadily declined until I was failing like one class with a D in another and mostly Cs or Bs. It was a nightmare in a few of the classes I was in. I'd daydream or zone out or dissociate. I had a lot of anxiety and, of course, gender dysphoria. I was miserable tbh. Being homeschooled, my mom would take us out to do stuff, she'd show us things and read books to us. She kept us engaged by speaking to us.

I can see how coming to an ADHD (inattentive) diagnosis could be difficult. I mean, there was a lot going on with me.

I think that my persistent day dreaming instead of focusing on the task at hand, forgetfulness, distractibility, and short attention span (unless engaged by something I really liked) are definitely indicative of that, though. I mean, I went through all of this with my psychiatrist. It wasn't like I just said, "So, I think I have ADHD" and he prescribed me strattera. We talked about this for a while.

I mean, I guess my forgetfulness could be chalked up to like dissociation. Like, I'll set down an object, turn around, and then literally forget where I put it. "Out of sight, out of mind." I've been doing this for as long as I can remember. I'm incredibly forgetful and disorganized. I can't manufacture the motivation to clean my room beyond basic tasks that still take a lot of gumption to get going. Like I got in trouble with my landlord because I wasn't keeping my apartment clean. Not because I was like, "I don't want to >:(" but genuinely because it seemed so daunting and overwhelming and difficult, and the very simple matter of manufacturing motivation made it seem impossible. Like, when my friend Lettii would come over, she would help me organize my space because when she'd leave it was nice but within a week or so it was a mess. All my shit is in a big pile in my closet. I have tons of odds and ends I've forgotten about tucked away in a multitude of bags and boxes in my closet.

I forget to change my cat's water, or to change her litter. To feed her, unless I see it is empty and act on it right away, or she wakes me up with her paws in my face.

I used to literally need my mom to remind me every single day to take my medication because I would forget. So I put alarms on my phone. I would still forget. Recently, however, I'm actually surprised at how well I'm doing with my meds. My alarm to take meds goes off and usually within a little while I'd have taken them. This is a development in my life that is actually awesome. It makes me feel so proud of myself lmao, that I can manage my own meds xD

But then there's the matter of bills. Maybe this makes me an absolute pathetic loser, but my mom helps me pay my bills because I keep forgetting. Like, the only reason my rent gets paid on time each month is because she will write the check, hand it to me and say "Go pay it now." The one time that she wrote the check and gave it to me a a day before I was supposed to pay rent, I forgot. It took me four days to realise that the baggy on my TV stand, which is cluttered with countless random objects, had a check in it. So I paid it like three days late and I got another mark on my record.

I literally pay my phone bill late almost every single month. The times I don't get it within four days of the due date, I usually get a message that says, "You need to pay your phone" or my mom says, "Did you pay your phone." I'll say no, and promise to do it when I get home. But I'll have forgotten about it within a few minutes at most. My mom will give me instructions for something, and I'll sometimes need her to repeat it. But about 70-80% of the time, by the time I get to where I need to be to deal with whatever it is I need to deal with, I've forgotten what I need so say. Like I had a thing I was doing a while ago and my mom gave me instructions and naturally I forgot what I was supposed to say so I awkwardly stumbled over my words until they figured out what I needed. They thought it was kind of funny but honestly it was fucking humiliating. I felt like a fucking stupid idiot. To top it off, most of the time I have an appointment, I'm either getting distracted or don't process what they say, or by the time I leave, I've forgotten everything that was said. My mom would ask me how things went and what they said and I'll just say, "I don't remember. I have bits and pieces, but I don't remember."

Like, this isn't a, "Shucks, I can't focus so it must be the ADHD :(" situation. This is a... my forgetfulness, inattentiveness, distractibility, and overall inability to manage my life has culminated in me being dependent on my fucking mom to keep me from becoming homeless lol.

Like this is bad. It isn't just anxiety or depression that makes me forget to pay my bills. I've actually reduced anxiety and depression by an enormous amount. I've transitioned. I'm on hormones. I'm taking my meds. No depressive episodes or mania in months. Only periodic BPD symptoms. And yet I still forget to pay my rent. Like... idk, man

It isn't like I WANT this to be a thing lmao, it isn't cool. It fucking SUCKS. This is absolute fucking ass, y'all. This blows donkey dick. My life is so difficult due my various problems that I genuinely can't function like a normal person.

Like, when I was little, I used to be so inattentive and distracted, whether daydreaming or whatever, that I'd put my dirty underwear in the freezer or the trash instead of in the hamper IN THE OTHER ROOM. Like ALL THE TIME XD. This didn't start in adulthood. So, maybe I was so anxious and depressed and traumatized by my family life. Maybe, sure. I could accept that. I just... I don't think that's what was going on when I was little. Like, most of the trauma came and got worse after those symptoms were noticed.

I told my mom about possibly seeing a psychologist to get an in-depth assessment beyond what I've already gotten and she said that like... well she basically said that my psychiatrist has already done that, and that my history is indicative of that too.

Idk. I get stressed and look for anything that this issue might he besides ADHD, and nothing really tracks. No other issue causes all of these symptoms besides being an absolute fucking idiot.

I mean, both my psychiatrist and my therapist agree on ADD, but again I guess I could go see a psychologist. Idk what that would change. It would be two or so sessions with someone that has never met me before and has no knowledge of my mental health history. They'd probably interview my mom I guess. She could tell them she pays my bills because I'm too stupid to do it myself, I guess. That I used to talk so rapidly and fast as a child that most people couldn't understand me. That I was so forgetful that she constantly made comments about it.

I'm honestly too tired to worry about this right now so I guess I'll just do something else instead of fretting over this shit.

I mean, I'll be fifty and still forgetting to take my brain with me when I leave the house.

[nycbabyjoey]

Beach Babe

NSFW 18+ Only

Contains ABDL Content

The sun was out and the sky was clear! It was the perfect day for Jackie to head down to the water and show off her beach bod for all the hot college guys. There was just one problem.

"I want ice cream!"

"We'll get ice cream in a second," Jackie responded impatiently. "Just go play in the sand for a minute."

Yeah, so Jackie had promised to watch her little cousin Derek. But she wasn't going to stay cooped up in the house all day watching the little twerp! She had just bought a new bikini and she wanted to take it for a test drive.

Of course, the brat wasn't grateful and whined the whole drive that he didn't want to go to the beach. What kid doesn't want to go to the beach anyway? Regardless, Jackie was in charge and what Jackie says goes.

Derek sighed as he sat down on the hot sandy beach and began to dig a hole. He didn't even have a shovel and pail to use; the task was pretty much an attempt to occupy his mind while he waited for ice cream.

Meanwhile, Jackie laid out a towel to display herself to the nearby studs on the beach who were playing a game of Spikeball. She pulled out a bottle of sunscreen before taking her bikini top.

"Yoohoo, boys!" she called out. "Would someone help me with my sunscreen?"

The boys basically climbed over one another to get the opportunity to rub lotion on her back. Jackie giggled to herself.

Derek groaned. He was already bored. He was only seven years old, but he knew why they really came to the beach - so that Jackie could talk to boys! Why did he always have to do what grown-ups told him to do?

Digging a conch shell out of the sand, Derek decided to whisper a wish into it, hoping it would come true. "I wish I was in charge. Then, Jackie would have to do whatever I wanted to do!"

Jackie smiled as one of the hunky beach guys sensually applied sunscreen to her lower back. She had these guys in the palm of her hand. She was feeling a bit frisky, so she had the bright idea of rolling onto her back to give the men a preview of her tits. Who knows? Maybe she'd let one of the guys rub some sunscreen on them too!

She decided to flip over but, when she did, everything was different. First thing that Jackie noticed was that the guys didn't react how she expected them to. Instead of hollering with wide eyes and agape mouths, the men had fawning expressions as if she were too precious for any dirty-minded thoughts.

She looked at herself next and the reason was apparent: she had a shirt on! Her breasts were no longer on display, but stranger than that is what the shirt said: "Baby Me!" alongside a cartoon drawing of a baby with a diaper and blonde pigtails.

Finally, Jackie made the most shocking realization of all. As she looked past her shirt, she realized that she also had a diaper and blonde pigtails! She gasped and looked up horrified at the men surrounding her, humiliated that they had been looking at her ass in a thick diaper rather than small bikini bottoms.

Among the group of guys was one who hadn't been standing there before. Tall and buff with short, scruffy, light brown hair. He kind of looked like an older version of -

"Derek??" Jackie shouted in disbelief.

"Hey cuz," a grown Derek responded. "I see you've met my friends."

"She's a cute kid," one guy remarked.

"Oh yeah, she's cute," Derek smirked. "You should see her when she throws her little tantrums though. It's adorable!"

A symphony of aww's followed Derek's condescending comment as Jackie sat on the beach towel mortified. Her face simmered red in frustration. What could have caused this? Whatever had, she knew she had to get away from here. She stood up, barely reaching the chest of her previously younger cousin.

"I want to go home!" Jackie demanded, stomping her foot. "Right now!"

"What's the rush, kiddo?" Derek responded. "We just got here!"

Jackie had enough. She started to run away, hoping to make it home to change into anything else. However, she didn't make it far. She could only waddle in her thick diaper and running over shifting sand only made things harder. She made it just a few feet before falling down face first into the sand. Between the pain and humiliation, Jackie couldn't stop herself from crying and kicking her feet into the sand.

Derek came over and scooped her off the ground as if she were light as a feather. Jackie's head rested on his shoulder and her padded butt rested on his beefy arm.

He placed her back on the ground where she wiped the last of her tears away before crossing her arms and pouting.

"We'll go home when I say," Derek said with a mischievous grin. "Now, why don't you play in the sand while we go meet some of the pretty girls, ok?"

Jackie groaned as Derek walked away with his new guy friends to talk to bikini-clad women while she was stuck in a baby's diaper. All the attention from ogling beach boys was now replaced with attention from passersby about "what an adorable little girl" she was. Derek did something to swap their ages, that much was clear. And now, he was babysitting her!

She decided she had no choice but to entertain herself until Derek ruled they could leave. She hesitantly grabbed a red pail and shovel and started work on a sand castle. Maybe it'll be fun, Jackie tried to convince herself. After all, she hadn't made one since... the last time she was a baby girl.

She filled her little pail with sand and turned it upside down to make a column. She did that three more times to make the four corners of the structure. As she grabbed handfuls of sand to pack in between each of the columns, a group of young boys about eight or nine years old came over and stomped out her sandcastle.

"Hey!" Jackie shouted. "That's not nice!"

"Hehehe," one of them teased. "Crybaby!"

"I am not a crybaby!" Jackie said indignantly, resisting the urge to cry as tears began to form in her eyes once again.

"Are too!" the other responded. "Only babies poop in their pants!"

"Maybe she has a stinky diaper already!"

One of the kids pulled on the back of her diaper, causing the woman to squeal as he saw her exposed bottom. The other kid filled Jackie's pail with sand and began dumping it down the back of her diaper. Jackie shot into the air as the two children ran away, chuckling. Her diaper sagged as the large amount of sand began slowly pouring out the leg holes. Almost immediately, the weight of Jackie's loaded diaper made her tip back over, landing on her bottom. The sand redistributed throughout her diaper as she started kicking the ground in another full-blown tantrum.

Derek walked over. "Don't worry Jackie," he said. "We need to get you in your swim diaper anyway."

Jackie was humiliatingly changed out of her sandy diaper into an even more embarrassing bright pink diaper covered in unicorns and ribbons. Derek and a few beach babes he had met wanted to go in the water, but Derek still wanted to keep an eye on his new baby cousin so she would have to swim too.

Derek busted out a pair of Hello Kitty floaties to make the ensemble just an extra bit degrading.

"Please Derek," Jackie begged. "I'm sorry I took you to the beach. We should've stayed at home. But you can't make me go out there like this."

"Come on sweetie," Derek continued teasing. "You'll need them if you're going to swim all by yourself."

Jackie tilted back her head as she dubiously extended her arms so that Derek could slide the pink water wings onto them.

Now shirtless, Jackie toddled her way towards the ocean water. She had earlier wished to flash her breasts to all the boys on the beach, but now they couldn't care less. Their attention was on her thick, pink diaper.

She waded in the shallow end for only a few moments before her tummy rumbled. No, no, no! Her mind raced. All this time in a diaper and she hadn't even considered the possibility of using it! She had to find a bathroom.

She frantically began to push her way back to the shore, but the waves pushed against her and her diaper slowed her down even more. Eventually, she stopped in her tracks as she tried to stop the inevitable. She squatted in the ocean, clenching her butt cheeks as hard as possible.

"Mommy, look!" one kid pointed. "She's taking a poop!"

Children and adults alike began to rush out of the water as Jackie finally stopped straining, emptying a mushy load into the seat of her swim diaper.

"Everyone, out of the water!" a lifeguard announced over intercom as Jackie stood alone in her stinky diaper.

Derek waded towards her to dig the knife in further. "P-U!" he said, wafting the smell away mockingly. "Someone needs a diapie change before we head home."

Jackie's dirty diaper was changed publicly back on the beach shore by Derek as several of his new friends, male and female, observed. She had wanted to flaunt her body, but this is not what she had in mind.

Jackie didn't know when, or if, things would go back to normal. But as long as she was the one filling her diapers and crying over sandcastles, she knew that her once younger cousin would be in charge of her from now on.