#i made this gifs right after watching each episode

[mikimeiko]

Doctor Who | 60th Anniversary + Christmas Specials (2023), Russel T. Davies

[pathologicalreid]

for the fear of falling apart | part four

you missed the paperwork that said joining the BAU meant having an unstable personal life, and Cat Adams is dedicated to making sure you know nothing is ever private

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five

series masterlist

who? spencer reid x jareau!reader category: angst content warnings: fear of drowning, couples counseling, spencer's mommy issues, takes place during 15x6 "date night", pregnancy and miscarriage, stillbirth, sexual assault, way too many ellipses, suicide, attempted murder, reader's daddy issues, details from the dirty dozen plotline, mishandled apologies, a lot of yapping, near drowning, disassociation, self harm word count: 9.75k a/n: i hate cat adams so much but god she is so funny in this episode. also cat and spencer shippers are not welcome. why does he look so good in this gif. this is the extent of my coherent thoughts.

“I just made the bed,” you complained halfheartedly, still allowing yourself to be tugged over to the bed despite your protests.

Climbing up on the bed, you tucked yourself into Spencer’s side, so cold after getting out of bed that you wished you could absorb his body heat. “C’mere,” he muttered, placing his hands on either side of your waist and pulling you over him, the two of you meeting face to face. “Hi pretty,” he greeted, craning his head up to place a gentle kiss on your lips.

You smiled slightly against his lips, ducking your head so that your mouths never separated. Mornings away from the bureau were few and far between, so you weren’t interested in wasting a single moment. “Good morning,” you whispered before bringing your lips back to his.

When the phone started to ring, Spencer’s hands fell from your waist in disappointment. He leaned his head back while you rolled off the bed and handed him his phone which he begrudgingly answered, “Hey, what’s up?”

With the phone on speaker, you heard Emily’s voice ring through the phone, “We have a case, it’s urgent,” concern oozed through her tone as you pulled your blazer on over your blouse.

“Alright, we’ll be right in,” he responded for the both of you. Most of the time, they only needed to call one of you.

Emily cleared her throat, “Spencer, there’s something you need to know.”

The thirty-minute drive from the district to Quantico was silent. You decided to drive, not wanting to worry about the metro when there was so much on the line. Barely having put the car in park, Spencer was already flying out of the car and to the elevator.

Several questions rested like a weight on the tip of your tongue and part of you hoped that this was all part of a morbid prank, but you knew when it came to Cat, it was never a joke. Purposefully being the first two people there, you followed Spencer to where Prentiss and Rossi were waiting in the roundtable room, “Catch us up,” he said, walking through the doorway and beginning to study the information on the screen.

“Early this morning Garcia got an email from an anonymous server,” Emily began, looking between the both of you with concern in her eyes.

Dave nodded next to her, “She’s not obscuring her face, telling us she’s got nothing to hide.”

Next to you, Spencer nodded, slipping both of his hands into his pockets, “Any ideas on the victims or UnSub?”

Chewing nervously on the inside of your lip, you looked at the screen carefully. The photo displayed two girls, one of them a teenager, maybe eighteen, and the other couldn’t be much older than ten. You didn’t speak, waiting for the words that you have heard over the phone to be spoken in person.

“No, only the UnSub’s demand that we release Catherine Adams within twenty-four hours. I’m having her transferred here for questioning,” she informed Spencer, “But we have no illusions. This is just a game to her, we know that. The question is, do we want to play it or not?”

In your periphery, you watched the remaining members of the team funnel into the bullpen, each of them placing their belongings on their respective desks before setting up for the day. Glancing back at Spencer, you shrugged almost indeterminably, “Do we have a choice?”

Spencer met your stare before looking back at Emily and Rossi, “Could you guys give us a minute?”

The both of them nodded, switching off the screen before heading out, presumably to begin briefing the remainder of the unit. You listened to the click of the door, waiting for Spencer to say anything.

“I don’t want you in there,” he told you.

You weren’t shocked by his request. When he was released from prison he had wanted to keep you near, going so far as to have you fly with him and your sister to Mount Pleasant because after three months he couldn’t bear to be separated. However, he didn’t want you in the observation room, so you stayed on the sidelines while he spoke with Cat, only hearing bits and pieces after the fact.

Once you nodded, Spencer took a deep breath, “I don’t want her to be able to use you against me. If she even gets the slightest idea that you’re behind the glass… I don’t know what she’ll do.”

Most members of the BAU had their One. The one UnSub that would likely haunt them for the rest of their lives, for Emily it was Ian Doyle, for Rossi it was Tommy Yates, and for Spencer it was Cat. “I’ll stay in the bullpen,” you reassured him, “I won’t leave the building, but I don’t need to listen in.”

“Thank you,” he murmured, pressing a timid kiss to your hairline before looking over to where Emily was waving him over.

Grimly, you followed Spencer out of the roundtable room, armed guards pouring through the elevator, signifying that the eagle had landed. You stopped at the glass doors, nestling yourself behind a wall – you didn’t need to see her, and she didn’t deserve to see you.

“She’s a contract killer?” Matt questioned as Spencer, Emily, and Rossi headed to the interrogation room. The only member of the team who hadn’t been around while Spencer was in Millburn, and the only member of the team with no experience with Cat Adams. In your gut, you felt a tug of envy.

Penelope nodded nervously, “She’s much, much more than that.” Her voice wavered slightly. Garcia had her own issues with Cat Adams, months of living in the BAU had left her worse for wear, but it was the best option while being hunted by a group of hit men.

You watched the members of the team as their eyes followed Cat around the hallway. “She’s a black widow,” JJ clarified for Simmons, “She preys on men she can seduce. She thrives on psychological seduction.” Her words made your stomach flip as you remembered everything she had put Spencer through in Mexico and subsequently prison – it was psychological warfare, and he was being sent into the lion’s den.

Luke nodded along to the narrative, “She has a body count that she’s never confirmed, but it’s believed to be in the hundreds.” Last time you had given tallying them up a chance you had almost reached two hundred, but she was only being criminally charged with seventy-three counts.

“She’s one of the most dangerous criminals we’ve ever arrested,” Tara admitted, “and she is obsessed with Reid.”

The group took a collective breath when Cat was fully in the interrogation room, “He’s the only man to ever outsmart her,” you continued. As much as he hated to admit it, everything she had ever said to Spencer had hit its mark, and you felt like your insides were being shredded at the knowledge that he was in there with her.

You flipped through Cat’s prison records once you were sat at your desk, looking up at any slight moment at the hope that someone might tell you what was going on. The prison records were relatively tame outside of what you already knew about her and Wilkins and her involvement with Lindsay Vaughn, but something you hadn’t thought about was her baby.

Spencer had broken the hard truth to Cat that day in Mount Pleasant, she couldn’t be a good mother. Her psychopathy would make it so that she would grow bored with a baby the same way a child would bore of a doll. You wondered how she viewed her miscarriage. Some psychopaths had the capacity to mourn, but you weren’t sure Cat fell within that demographic.

Her medical record painted a horrifying picture. She had been so far along that the baby had been delivered stillborn. Your stomach flipped at the charts, closing them before moving to the kitchenette to refill your coffee.

On your way, you saw Spencer through the glass doors, changing course so you could catch him before he went back. You veered around the corner, not wanting to call out his name before he turned into an interview room. Lagging behind, you kept yourself hidden, feeling like you were intruding and starting to walk backward, away from him.

Until you heard a crash and a shout, at which point you pivoted and returned to the interview room. A few agents started rubbernecking at the door, trying to see what was going on, “Keep walking,” you ordered them, pointing away from the room.

Inside the room, Spencer had haphazardly discarded his tie on the floor before proceeding to swipe everything off of the bookshelf. He didn’t acknowledge you as you stepped into the room, he just paced, placing his hand on his chest as he tried to self-regulate.

You tried to go around him, wanting to pick up the fallen books before anyone noticed what had happened, but before you could, Spencer grabbed your hand and pulled you into him. Getting over the initial startle, you reached out your arms and wrapped them around him, “I’m right here.”

“I’m struggling,” he admitted to you, holding you tightly against him. His time in prison felt like lifetimes ago at this point, but the way he hugged you reminded you of the day he got out – the last time you had to deal with Cat Adams.

His openness about his feelings helped to ease your own anxiety, and you were able to look up at him and offer a comforting smile, “That’s alright. This isn’t easy.” You kept your eyes on him, readjusting his rumpled collar and messy hair, “Why don’t you go get some water? I’ll take care of this,” you offered, holding your hand up when he tried to protest.

Spencer left without a fight, and you tried to reassemble the books and trinkets in the way they had previously been before wiping your palms on your jeans and walking back into the bullpen.

The team was gathering in the roundtable room, exchanging information and proposing ideas, “The victimology’s off,” Spencer said, gesturing to the screen where the two girls were being displayed.

“How so?” Tara asked, raising an eyebrow and glancing between your fiancé and the screen.

He crossed his arms in front of his chest, “Two young girls. She’s never done anything like this before.”

Agreeing, Tara looked around the table, “She usually targets men that remind her of her father. Children, even adult children are off limits.” She turned to Penelope, “Do we have an ID yet?”

Waving a fuzzy pen in the air, Penelope sighed, “You would think a parent or someone would notice, but there’s nothing coming up in any of my searches.”

“What do we know about the partner who’s been helping her?” Rossi asked no one in particular, looking to anyone who might have an answer.

Matt leaned his elbows over the table, “It’s gotta be someone from her prison. She wasn’t in contact with anyone else. We can start with known associates who were recently released,” he looked to Garcia, who nodded astutely before typing furiously on her laptop.

You spoke up from the doorway, slipping Spencer’s discarded tie into your back pocket, “I have a list going of associates at Mount Pleasant, we can do some comparing and contrasting,” you offered.

“Oh, I do love a good Venn diagram,” Penelope concurred, smiling before scooping up her laptop and making her way back to the lair.

Taking her seat, you uncomfortably sat next to JJ, leaning your knees toward Rossi so that you didn’t accidentally touch her legs. “Okay, can I tell you what’s been bugging me?” Your sister asked rhetorically, “Every time we’ve gone up against Cat, there’s the presenting agenda and the hidden one. If she sticks to pattern, this isn’t just about going on a date with Spencer.”

You considered the idea of her not having a secondary agenda but she had already veered so far off from her usual M.O. that everything else needed to follow the arbitrary rules in her mind.

“Right now, she’s a fixed variable,” Emily counseled, “We need to focus on identifying the UnSub and her victims.”

At that, everyone parted ways except for you and Spencer, you stayed flipping through folders of research you had on Cat Adams, ranging from her time as Miss .45 to her years in Mount Pleasant Women’s Correctional Facility. Spencer stood, hands on the back of your chair as he looked at the pictures being projected on the screen.

Every time Cat Adams came up, each topic you even slightly associated with her resurfaced – Diana’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis, Mexico, Millburn, and now the two of you were just barely recovering from the fallout of your sister’s truth. You were overwhelmed, and if you were overwhelmed, Spencer had to be on the verge of some kind of breakdown.

“I don’t know what to do,” he whispered despite the empty room, “Tell me what to do.”

You took a deep breath before turning your head and looking up at him, “I can’t tell you what to do. This is your decision.”

He sighed, lowering himself down in the chair next to you and resting his chin in his hand, “Then don’t tell me what to do, but I would like your input. Your thoughts, feelings,” he amended.

Smiling despite yourself, you looked over at him, “Someone’s paying attention in couple’s therapy,” you said lightly, setting your hand gently on his knee.

“I just need to know if we’re on the same page or if I’m going to mess everything up,” he said, bringing his free hand to where yours rested and threading your fingers together.

You leaned back in the office chair, shrugging slightly before you answered, “I think you should go.”

Spencer frowned, “What?”

“I think you should go on the date with Cat,” you iterated.

Clearly, that wasn’t what he had expected from you, “I don’t- You want me to go on a date with someone else?”

You flipped your file shut before looking back at him, “If I had the liberty to look at this situation as just your fiancé I would, but I’m not just your fiancé. I’m an FBI agent and I’m looking at these girls,” you gestured to the screen, “and I know that our best chance of finding them might just be sending you on a date with Cat.” You took a deep breath, “She always trips up and she always does it with you. It’s your call, at the end of the day, you don’t need to go if it’s not something you want to have to experience, but you asked for my thoughts, so there they are.”

Spencer looked conflicted as he considered his options, “I’ve- We’ve come so far recently. I’d hate to ruin all of that.”

Shaking your head, you smiled at his concern, “Solving the case has to come first this time, love.”

He nodded in agreement, standing up and keeping your hands intertwined, “Come with me,” he encouraged, nearly dragging you over to the interrogation room where Cat was. He opened the door to the observation room and brought you in with him.

You averted your eyes so that you didn’t have to look at her – possibly the only woman you would throttle given the chance – and just waited for Emily, who was getting more details.

Waiting for the door to close behind her, Spencer listened for the click before speaking up, “Well, what are her demands?”

Emily looked exasperated, sharing a look with you before responding, “She wants to go ice skating so she can skate circles around you. She’s wasting our time.”

And her own, you thought, Cat didn’t have much time to make an arrangement with Spencer, eventually, she’d just be sent back to prison. Ice skating would never get approved anyway. No matter how you try to spin it, no one would give her a blade.

The door opened, taking attention away from Cat and onto Penelope, who looked confused and mildly disturbed, “Okay,” she started, “Something weird happened, but it could be a lead. I just got a bazillion voicemail messages, all from the same address on Fourth Street.”

While Tara and Luke checked out the potential lead on Fourth, you stayed sat at your desk, listening carefully to the bustling office around you. Up in Emily’s office, you heard your sister and Simmons updating your unit chief, “We found the UnSub, her name is Juliette Weaver – it took the prison all of five minutes to identify her.”

You filtered through your file in front of you, looking for the information you had on Weaver while Matt continued speaking, “She was Cat’s old cellmate. Released from prison six months ago, off the grid a week ago.”

“What was she in for?” Rossi asked and you wondered if they knew how well voices carried into the bullpen.

Matt cleared his throat before responding, “Low-level possession, she took the rap for her boyfriend, but according to the warden, she’d follow Cat around like a puppy dog.”

Your unit chief hummed thoughtfully, “Easily manipulated. So, Cat groomed her, got her to take orders.” Much like she had done with Lindsey Vaughn, convincing her to destroy Spencer’s life – you wondered if Juliette considered Cat her lover too.

“It goes deeper than that,” JJ interjected, “Cat and Juliette have something in common.”

“Juliette’s dad killed her mom in a domestic dispute. Then he fled and was never caught,” Matt resumed, surprising you.

As you imagined the surprise on Emily’s face, she responded, “That’s exactly what happened with Cat’s parents.”

You watched them in the office as Matt set something down on Emily’s desk, “Yeah, so we did a little digging into Susan. We thought that she might’ve been Juliette’s mom, but she’s not.”

“She’s Cat’s,” Rossi realized.

Matt hummed in confirmation, “Susan Adams, unidentified cold case from 1987. She was found floating in the water on the Potomac. Thanks to that picture, the case isn’t cold anymore.”

Turning your attention back to the information you had on Cat’s former cellmates, you looked over Juliette’s personal information. There wasn’t much on her, but there were some details about her family – including two younger sisters. You would likely need Garcia to confirm it for you, but you had a good feeling that the two girls being held captive were Juliette’s sisters. If that was Juliette’s stake in this, you were no closer to figuring out what Cat’s endgame was.

Looking up at your computer, you thought about the first time Spencer and Cat had gone head-to-head. It had been almost four years to the date. You frowned at your monitor, “It’s an anniversary,” you whispered to no one in particular.

“What was that?” Luke asked from his desk, adjusting his Kevlar vest as he prepared to be the chaperone for the date.

Double-checking the dates, you turned to face him as you clarified, “Four years, almost to the date of the day Spencer arrested Cat.”

Luke nodded in understanding, “That’s why she chose now to act. It wasn’t just that she was running out of time, this was the perfect time for her to get into Reid’s mind.”

Scoffing, you gathered up your papers and walked up to Emily’s office, if Cat wanted to meddle, fine, but you could play her game too.

Four years, you thought to yourself. Spencer had been on family leave for months, and taking down Cat was his first case back. You wish you had known back then how much that case would affect the next four years of his life.

The team gathered when it was time, the remaining eight standing outside of the glass doors to the unit and watching and Spencer and Cat strolled through the hallway. She had been cleaned up, some poor agent sent out to find a date-appropriate outfit for her, and she was holding onto Spencer like he was a prize she had won at a fair.

Spencer’s face was blank. No, worse than that, he was completely absent. Separating himself from what was going on with Cat. It horrified you, every time you saw Spencer retreat into himself it made you sick to your stomach. You were grateful Luke was going with them, he was someone Spencer trusted to make the right calls.

For the first time that day, you and Cat locked eyes, glaring at each other in a battle of wills, “Don’t wait up,” she called out to you, winking before the heavy elevator doors slid shut.

Slowly, your group dispersed, going back to trying to figure out Cat and Juliette’s endgame. You looked at your files, but you couldn’t focus, you could barely breathe. Spencer would be safe. He was smart enough to evade anything Cat threw at him, but she seemed to chip at him every time they saw each other.

You swung in your office chair, trying to form an even semi-helpful thought as your sister came up to your desk, “Hey.”

Peeling your eyes away from the folders, you looked up at her, “Hi,” you responded, slightly confused.

JJ sat on the edge of your desk, crossing her ankles so her legs didn’t dangle, and she looked at you, blonde hair curtained around her face.

There wasn’t much for you to do until the date started and Spencer could fish for answers with Cat, but even so, you weren’t interested in holding a staring contest with your sister. “Did you need anything?” You felt like it was a gentle enough question, there was no reason for you to bring your hostile family relationship to work with you. Everyone knew there was something happening between the two of you, but no one knew precisely what it was.

Her eyebrows creased briefly, “I thought we could talk, just for a minute.”

You unceremoniously dropped your pen on your desk, leaning back and looking at your sister incredulously, “Kind of shit timing, don’t you think?”

“I invited you for dinner last night and you didn’t show up. Every time I come up to you at work you start a conversation with someone else,” she tried to explain herself.

It was exactly as she thought – you were avoiding her. You had no interest in repairing your familial tie, your thread of gold had frayed beyond repair. “I was busy last night, I told you I wouldn’t be able to make it. You’re the one who didn’t believe me.”

She sighed defeatedly, “Thursdays used to be your best night. You’d always come for dinner on Thursday nights like clockwork, are you telling me that changed overnight?”

You bit your tongue, but it wasn’t that you were trying to stop yourself from sniping at her, you were trying to stop yourself from telling her where you were last night. Thursday evening was your weekly couples counseling appointment and your sister didn’t need to be privy to the inner workings of your relationship. Besides that, none of this had been overnight – you hadn’t been over for dinner in months now.

For every single milestone that you reached with Spencer, JJ was the first person you told, but when you got engaged, she found out the news secondhand through Penelope. You knew you had hurt her. Maybe it wasn’t the same as her love confession, but you hurt her, and you couldn’t bring yourself to apologize. You weren’t entirely sure if you should apologize.

“I’m telling you that I didn’t snub you on dinner, JJ. I was busy, I couldn’t come,” you told her, keeping your tone level as you looked up at her.

Her expression soured, “How long are you going to be mad at me?”

Forever, if you could help it, but you couldn’t tell her that. Despite your anger, despite the sadness that thinking too hard about all of this brought you, you knew that you weren’t capable of holding your sister at arm’s length for the rest of your life. “JJ, I’m not-“ you cut yourself off. “When I found out that you were in love with Spencer, I promised myself that I wouldn’t hold it against you,” you lowered your voice, conscious of the bustling bullpen around you. “I’ve kept that promise. I can’t blame you for loving him when I know everything he has ever done that makes him loveable. I love him too. So, in whatever convoluted way you want to look at it, I understand where you’re coming from.”

She nodded in what seemed like agreement, “Ducky, I’ve known him for fifteen years, I couldn’t-“

“You see,” you interrupted her, “That’s where my understanding runs out. Just because you’ve known him longer doesn’t give you the right to come into our relationship and fuck everything up. Yes, Jennifer, you’ve known him for fifteen years, but you rejected him. You rejected him and ended up with someone else. Thirteen years after meeting Will, you told Spencer you were in love with him. Do you know how wrong that is?”

JJ’s shoulders slumped forward, “Yes, but-“

You held up your hand, stopping her from speaking, “No, JJ. There’s no ‘but’. What you did was wrong. You can try to justify it to me in whatever way you want, but what you did will always be wrong. It will always affect our relationship. Your love for Spencer is the ghost haunting our house and there are no Ouija boards in the world that can translate for me,” You cringed at your figure of speech, but you went along with it anyway.

“You’re engaged, so there’s obviously a way through this for the two of you,” she tried to argue, but you could tell her heart wasn’t in it.

Pausing, you picked at the dry skin around your nails, “Spencer and I had a really long and exhaustive talk a few weeks ago.”

She raised her eyebrows, “I know, I read the police blotter.”

You rolled your eyes, that hadn’t been a fun talk with Emily, but at least she prevented your dispute from reaching HR. “Yeah, we had a loud talk. We figured things out. We’re still figuring things out, but we decided that we’d rather do that together than apart.”

“I helped him pick the ring,” she confessed. “About a year ago and I thought… I thought he’d tell me before asking.”

Instinctively, your eyes flicked down to your left hand, “For what it’s worth, it was all very spur of the moment.”

JJ shook her head, “Why are you trying to comfort me right now?”

“God, JJ. I might be pissed at you, but you’re still my sister,” you snapped at her. “While I might want to, I can’t just cut you out of my life and I can’t stop myself from caring about you. If you want to work on our relationship, owning up to your mistakes is a good start. Spencer came clean to me and now we’re engaged, but that doesn’t negate the fact that this was broken in the first place. You don’t get to brush this under the rug.”

“You wouldn’t let me brush it under the rug anyway,” she retorted.

Your head snapped up to her, “Is that what you want? To forget any of this ever happened?”

She was quiet for a while before responding, “Yes.”

You pressed your lips together and studied her briefly, “Well, I can’t give you that.”

JJ opened her mouth like she wanted to say something else, but Emily beat her to it, calling out to you from the doorway of her office, “Do you have a second?”

The ceiling of your apartment was only interesting for a limited amount of time. You’d spent years in the apartment, tracing the patterns with your eyes just felt redundant now.

Emily had benched you. She disguised it as giving you the rest of the night off, but you were effectively taken off the case. She couldn’t claim it was a conflict of interest, everyone on the team had a conflict of interest with Cat Adams, but that’s what she thought it was.

You sat down on the couch, drumming your fingers on your denim-clad thigh while you waited for a phone call – you’d even take a text message.

Wallowing in your own boredom, you listened to the sounds of the city. Where the two of you lived, it was hectic during the day and became more manageable at night, but it was still the city. Cars drove by, sirens wailed, people chatted along the sidewalk, and people spoke in the hallway.

No, actually, people talking in your hallway was abnormal. Sitting up, you looked at the front door, considering going to snoop in on your neighbor’s conversation.

You didn’t even have the time to decide before the door opened, revealing Spencer and Cat in the middle of what seemed like a rather intense kiss.

He pulled away, looking into the apartment and seeming surprised to see you.

Standing up, your arms dangled limply at your sides, “Oh, Spence.”

Holding up a finger, he silently begged you to wait. You couldn’t hear anything that came out of his mouth, everything was muffled as you fought back the tears that were burning your eyes.

You didn’t talk again until Cat spoke to you. “What?”

She laughed slightly and you could hear your heart pounding, “Did it make you mad when I kissed your fiancé?”

You hated her. Your mother would tell you that hate is a strong word, and you still didn’t care, you hated her. “No,” you lied through your teeth.

Innocently, her eyebrows raised, “Why not?”

Four years. Four years of her haunting Spencer. You thought back to that first meeting at the restaurant and responded, “No offense, but you’re not really worth getting mad at.”

Her eyes lit up and even though you knew better, you were proud of yourself for striking a nerve. With a psychopath, that was a dangerous game. Before long, she meandered around the furniture in your home and sat in the reading chair, she looked at you, “Oh, sweetheart, we have so much to talk about. I’m so glad Spencie finally decided to introduce us.”

Anxiously, your eyes flicked over to Spencer’s. Worse than your own anxiety, he looked angry, an uncommon expression for him to wear. “It’s nice to have a real conversation with you,” you gratified her.

“Normally, Spencie and I, we spend our time together playing games, but tonight I want you both here to make a point,” she watched Spencer as the two of you waited for the ball to drop. “You could do so much better, because girl,” she turned to look at you, “You need to know the truth about him.”

Pinching your brows together, you looked at Cat, “What are you talking about?”

She smiled to herself, flipping her brown hair over her shoulder, “He told me that no matter what, he can’t get me out of his mind.”

“Everything I said to her tonight was a lie,” Spencer interjected, doing damage control on your relationship while Cat tried to take it apart.

Cat scoffed, “Did our kiss look like a lie?”

There was a time when Spencer was under the impression that he had been sexually assaulted by Cat in Mexico, and during that time, you were afraid of him hurting himself. You were in the lion’s den with him now and you had to rely on your gut. He wouldn’t kiss her unless it was his last resort. He wouldn’t do that to himself. He wouldn’t do that to you. Still, you forced yourself to look at him and answer her question, “No.”

“Thank you, now we’re getting to the heart of the matter,” she resumed smugly, obviously pleased with your response and she stood up, putting her hands on everything around the apartment. “You see, everyone thinks that Dr. Spencer Reid is- is just this nice, bookish, uh, genius who uh, always saves the day and has all the answers and has… zero mommy issues, right?” She pointedly tipped over a photo of Diana before she continued flouncing around the apartment, “But um, I know the real him.”

Spencer looked at her incredulously and you wished you could hear what he was thinking at that moment, “Yeah? Who’s the real me, Cat?”

She cocked her head at you, the faux pity in her eyes made you nauseous, “The real Spencer Reid throws women against walls and hisses that he’s going to kill them.”

He faltered and you knew she had hit her mark, “That was a very different situation.”

“Was it?” She challenged, looking at him for a rebuttal, but the vacant look was coming back to his eyes.

Chewing on the inside of your lip, you met his eyes, “What is she talking about?”

You had been in Mount Pleasant that day. For all of the things she knew about, she didn’t know that you had been there, and you could use that against her, but you’d likely hurt Spencer in the process.

“You tell her,” Cat insisted, “She’s not gonna believe it coming from me.” With a flourish, she sat back down in the chair, crossing her legs as she watched her entertainment for the night.

Spencer pursed his lips, leaning forward as his eyes flicked between the two of you, “Just like tonight, she got under my skin and-“

“You threw her against a wall,” you finished, displaying your comprehension of the story to Cat and reminding Spencer that you already knew.

Cat stood back up, dragging a hand along your shoulders, sending goosebumps sprawling across your skin. “Don’t skimp on the details, Spencie,” she goaded him. “She deserves to know everything.”

The terrible feeling you’d had all day worsened as you realized where she was going with this. It was the natural continuation of the story for her even if it wasn’t the truth.

“She was pregnant at the time, and I knew that when I hurt her,” Spencer admitted, the shame he felt emanating from him in waves.

You’re not like that, baby. You’re not a violent person, you remembered telling him. You wanted to tell him that now, but she’d never let you.

Cat looked at you, a devilish glint in her eye as she rounded out her fabrication, “And the next day I miscarried. The end.”

Your breathing hitched as you saw Spencer retreat completely into himself, “What? That’s not true.”

Her head snapped over to him, “It most certainly is true, check my medical records.”

“That doesn’t- I would-“ He stuttered, but it was too late.

“Stop,” she interjected, nodding her head in your direction, “Look.”

You were choking on the truth. You wanted to scream at her and simultaneously tell Spencer that she was lying to him. The words weren’t coming out, the only thing you had were tears. They were streaming down your face as you looked at nobody and nothing, sitting on your hands.

No one said anything for a while before Spencer sat down, keeping his distance from you, “I’m sorry.”

“Notice how your fiancé is apologizing to you and not me,” Cat instructed you, you peered up at her through wet eyelashes. “Men are all the same, aren’t they Ducky?”

Spencer jumped to your defense as you blanched at the nickname, “Don’t call her that,” he snapped.

Cat inclined her head toward him, “What, are you going to throw me up against the wall and choke me or do you only do that to pregnant women?”

Of all of the things for Cat to know about you, your childhood nickname wasn’t what you expected. You looked at her and met her eyes through your bleary ones, “Why are you doing this?”

You regretted the question as soon as you asked it, but you couldn’t take it back now, “Because I want you to see it,” she explained. “I want you to see that he is no better than all the men you chase. All the men who have hurt you before.”

“Stop,” you pleaded, staring at the floor in front of you.

Cat crouched next to you, forcing you to look her in the eyes, “I can see it in your face. Why did you flinch when I used your nickname?”

Your nostrils flared, “It’s none of your business,” you insisted.

She laughed at your attempted assertion, “Oh, but it is. In fact, it’s my specialty. Is he nearby? I could send Juliette over to say hi,” she offered.

“Say yes,” Spencer interjected, “Give her what she wants.”

Glaring at him, Cat waved him off, “He wants you to get me to make a phone call so they can trace it. You’re so good, the BAU.”

You shook your head helplessly, “I never wanted to be involved in this sick, twisted game between the two of you.” Even still, you had never been given the choice. Emily sent you home under the guise of waiting out the date only for it to be a trap.

Cat mock-pouted, “Tell me your story, Ducky, and I promise I will give Juliette a call and those two girls will be safe and sound.”

And that was the end of it. You couldn’t let your cowardice cost those girls their lives – or whatever Cat had planned for them.

“Come on, little duck,” she prodded at you, “It’s story time.”

Spencer shook his head, “Y/N, it’s a trap.”

Scoffing, Cat sat next to you, “It is so tricky, isn’t it? I mean, who are you gonna trust? The lying, cheating, violent psychopath… or me?”

Desperately, you looked up at Spencer and his face fell as he realized what you were doing. “My sister gave it to me,” you told her.

Impishly, she smiled, “Jennifer?”

“No,” you answered, “Roslyn, and don’t interrupt.” You frowned, piling your hands in your lap as you searched for the story. “I don’t remember it, but when I was learning how to walk I… waddled. So, when I would walk around Roz would follow me and make duck sounds, and I would mimic her. She started calling me Ducky after that and it just stuck.”

She smiled at you knowingly, “That is so sweet. How could you hate such a heartfelt nickname from your dearly departed sister?”

You shook your head, “I don’t hate it,” you insisted.

Cat cocked her head at you, “Tell me,” she goaded. “Tell me or I ruin her life.”

Quickly, you looked up at Spencer and made sure he caught the slip up too. The two of you shared a suspicious look before you continued, “My parents put me in school early, I started kindergarten when I was four and I learned early that kids were cruel. They would follow me around and quack,” you laughed despite yourself, what had seemed heinous as a child would barely make you spare a glance as an adult. “One day, we were doing a class craft, and they put glue and feathers on my seat so they stuck to my skirt when I stood up,” you told her, recalling the way your poor mother had to leave work to help you pick feathers from your skirt.

Next to you, Cat lifted a hand to her mouth, fake yawning as she waited for you to get to the man of it all.

“When she got home, I yelled at Roslyn,” You’d spiraled about this so many times in adulthood that you were surprised it had any effect on you anymore. “I told her I hated her. I told her she was a bad sister, and I wanted her to go away,” you admitted, fighting off tears again. “She skipped dinner that night and the next morning she… JJ found her. In the bathroom. She had slit her wrists with our father’s razor blade.”

Spencer’s brown eyes bore into you, reflecting the same sadness that you were sure was on your own face, “You were only four, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Well, you certainly didn’t help,” Cat snarked.

“Cat,” Spencer snapped.

Frustrated, you wiped under your eyes, “My dad blamed me. He told me he would give me up if it meant she would come back, and he’s maintained that sentiment ever since.” You knew now that there were other things Roslyn had been struggling with at the time, but part of you would always have the nagging feeling that you had a role in your sister’s suicide.

“So, you understand me,” she said matter-of-factly.

Confused, you lifted your head to look at her, “What?”

She scooted closer to you, “You understand why I’ve killed all of them. Those men,” she clarified.”

You looked at her, “No, Cat, I don’t understand you. I hate my dad, but I don’t want to kill him. I don’t prey on the deaths of the people that I hate, and that’s the difference between me and you. I want my dad to have to live with the fact that he’s a horrible person. I want him to live with what he did to me, to my family.”

Cat narrowed her eyes at you, “And he didn’t even visit you after you got shot.”

Out of guilt, you had assumed. His guilty conscience was the only thing that kept him away. After all, almost thirty years of telling you that it should’ve been you, the universe almost came through for him. “Give me the location,” you said, holding her to her end of the bargain.

Groaning, she held out her hand for your phone so she could put the location into your map. Once you had what you needed, you started making your way out, hearing her call after you, “Keep your head above water, Ducky!”

You kept moving, your feet moving beneath you even though your heart wanted to drop to the floor, you charged out the door, ignoring Emily as she tried to comfort you. Luke followed you out of the apartment building, neither of you speaking until you handed your phone to Luke, showing him the location. “Stay here, I’ll call the team and get them to meet here,” he told you, lifting your phone to let you know he was taking it with him.

Trailing behind him anyway, you got into the passenger seat of the SUV, “I have to go, Luke. It’s… I’ll be fine.”

He wasn’t entirely convinced, but Luke generally wasn’t one to argue with you. “Okay, but I’m still calling for backup.”

It wasn’t a far drive, in fact, months ago this bridge had been a regular stopping point when you went on walks, but as soon as you stepped out of the car and heard the water running below you, you froze.

There were flashing lights all around you, and the only thing you could do was watch as Juliette held onto the older of her two sisters at the edge of the bridge. The younger girl was calling out for her sister. Vaguely, you heard Matt trying to talk Juliette into letting them go.

The little girl screamed as Juliette shoved her sister off of the bridge, putting her hands up once the crime had been committed. Luke called for search and rescue through his comm, and you watched the little girl, just as old as JJ when Roslyn passed away.

Keep your head above water.

You didn’t remember much about Roslyn’s funeral, it was mostly JJ straightening your dress and fiddling with her necklace, but that singular event had changed the entire course of your life.

The screaming continued even as you ran to the edge of the bridge, not garnering anyone’s attention until it was too late, and Luke shouted your name as you dove off of the platform.

Afterward, the first thing you would remember was the pain. You absorbed the shock of hitting the water through your arms, causing strain on both of them. The darkness of the water was just as you imagined it would be. That is, until you rose to the surface, met with dozens of flashlights shining down on you.

People called your name, but you just looked around the water, listening for splashing as you hoped to find Juliette’s sister.

There was a gasp behind you, the both of you treading as best you could, but the water was cold, and she slipped under. Impulsivity was never your strong suit, so you hadn’t really considered the way your hands would go numb until you put an arm around her waist, trying to keep her head above the water.

“Y/N!” Matt called from the riverbed, shining his flashlight over at you while you tried to support the girl. It wasn’t easy, you ducked your head under the water and pushed her up, the darkness of the water threatening to swallow you whole.

Hoisting her up, you felt your teammates pull her from the water and sighed, forgetting where you were.

You gagged on the water before reaching up your arms, letting yourself be pulled out. The shock of the air on your lungs was nearly as bad as that of the water, but as you coughed up water on the dirt, you heard the girl start coughing as well.

Her body would have been dumped right where Cat’s mother had been found, and that little girl would have lost her big sister, just like you did. It was the only thing you could think of as you were brought back to the BAU because Emily was insistent on debriefing.

“You dove into the water?” Emily asked before ordering one of the desk agents to go find something for you to change into.

Your wet clothes clung pathetically to your skin as you nodded, “Yeah, I did.”

Luke smiled next to you, “It was pretty impressive, actually.”

“It’s reckless is what it is,” Emily said, studying your damp state, “Go up to my office and turn the space heater, we need to thaw you.”

Rolling your eyes, you walked up to Emily’s office and opened the door, turning the knob on the space heater before sitting on the little couch in her office. Placing your ring on the coffee table to dry, you wrapped your arms around yourself. You waited for the desk agent to return with clothes and instead were surprised when your sister came through the doorway with a pile of clothes in hand. “Hey,” she said, lifting the clothes, “Fresh from the Academy laundry.”

She closed the blinds as you stripped down to your tank top, pulling the sweatshirt over your head before swapping out your pants as well.

“How do you feel?” She asked gently, standing across from you hesitantly.

You looked down at your new clothes, “I feel like FBI Academy propaganda,” you responded, sitting back down on the couch.

Raising her eyebrows, she looked at you intently, “I meant after… everything tonight.”

Pulling your knees up to your chest, you looked up at your sister, “It never had anything to do with Spencer,” you whispered.

She pursed her lips before sitting next to you, “Well, it’s always Cat’s goal to get under Spencer’s skin. She just chose to use you to do it this time.”

You would probably never know how Cat managed to know so much about you. Honestly, you probably didn’t want to know. This time next week, Cat Adams would be dead, and that would just have to be enough for you.

“I can’t believe you jumped into the river,” JJ said in disbelief, rubbing a hand up and down your back.

Shyly, you shrugged at her, “I saw a little girl about to lose her big sister and I couldn’t let her go through that kind of pain.”

Your sister nodded in understanding, “She was eleven?”

You nodded slowly, “And her sister was seventeen,” you whispered.

Part of you felt like you had been staring at an alternate universe all evening. “So,” JJ said, moving the conversation, “Spencer’s on his way back. He’ll probably want to talk to you, clear some things up.”

“Will you sit with me until he does?” You asked softly, afraid of her sniping back about forgiveness, but she didn’t. That wasn’t the way JJ worked, she just nodded, leaning back against the cushions and letting you rest your head on her shoulder.

She didn’t get up and leave until Spencer arrived, she went to meet him in the bullpen, and you waited for the moment someone told him where you were. There was a sensation you had never experienced before, but you felt so separate from your own actions. Despite your still wet hair, you barely remembered diving into the water.

You sensed another psychological evaluation in your future.

The rotating heater warmed you in waves as you listened to your team. They filled Spencer in on everything that had happened tonight, from Juliette’s sisters to Cat’s real plan. “She…” Spencer stammered, “She told me Y/N had a big decision to make tonight. Where is she?”

Blankly, you stared ahead at the heater, wondering what they’d tell him and what they’d save for you. “Well, she may have jumped into the Potomac,” Matt told him tentatively, his voice was gentle as he dropped the bomb.

“She dove actually,” Luke corrected, and you imagined him being proud of his redress.

Emily cleared her throat, ever the mediator, and finally answered Spencer’s question, “She’s up in my office getting warm.”

There were no more questions after that, but you recognized the footsteps as Spencer approached the office. His knock was timid, but he didn’t wait for you to respond before opening the door.

His hair was awry, you supposed yours didn’t look much better, and his breathing was uneven. A symptom, you assumed, of finding out you had jumped into the fourth largest river on the Atlantic coast. “Hi,” you waved nervously.

At the same time, he spoke, “I’m so sorry.”

There was no use in pussyfooting around, “Did you want to talk now, then?”

“Yes,” he answered instantly, “I can’t… I’m so tired of things looming over our heads.”

You sighed, folding your hands in your lap, “That cumulonimbus has been there for quite some time, hasn’t it?”

“I just cheated on you and you’re making cloud jokes?” Spencer asked in disbelief. At some point in the night, he had lost his jacket, leaving him in a rumpled dress shirt.

Turning to stone, you paused. Maybe it was the Potomac water that you had ingested, maybe it was the other events of the evening, but you had brushed off the kiss between him and Cat nearly immediately. “I guess I didn’t really think of it that way,” you admitted.

He leaned back on Emily’s desk, “All of these problems we’ve been having, and we were just beginning to make headway. I went and ruined it.”

Raising your eyebrows, you looked at Spencer quizzically, “Okay, well, now you’re catastrophizing.”

“I made a choice years ago that resulted in you facing one of your biggest fears tonight, you’re shaking, and your clothes are in a sopping pile on the ground,” he explained as if you weren’t well aware. “I don’t think you’re taking this seriously.”

“I think you just had a shitty night spent with a woman who has a knack for convincing you you’re evil, so you’re telling me how evil you are right now,” you responded, leaning back on the couch cushions. “You’re not evil and you’re barely a cheater,” you told him, “I’d love to lay out all of the evidence for you, but I’m exhausted and I’d rather we just go home.”

One look at Spencer told you that you weren’t going to be getting what you wanted tonight, the histrionics of your evening weren’t over. “I made you cry,” he said meekly. He said it like it was the worst thing he could ever do to you.

“I’m the one who told you to go! I might not be a genius, but I’m smart enough to have considered the fact that Cat would try to make a move.” Groaning, you covered your face with your arms, “Spencer, Cat made me cry. I had to sit back and watch her manipulate you into believing you caused her miscarriage.”

“You knew?” He breathed.

You nodded, dropping your arms and looking at him miserably, “Yes, I knew the truth, and it killed me to not be able to tell you.”

Waiting for him to respond was agonizing. You desperately wanted to apologize for not telling him as soon as you found out about Cat’s baby, but you didn’t think it was important information at the time.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Spencer finally spoke. “I thought… I couldn’t handle it if you thought that I’d-“

Quickly, you shook your head and waved your hands, “No, Spence. I knew the truth from the get-go.”

He was quiet, shuffling his feet on the carpet before he looked up at you. He opened his mouth to speak but second-guessed himself before sealing his lips and crossing his arms in front of his chest. Watching you for a moment, he spoke, “Do you remember when you asked me what my truth would’ve been? If Pinkner had asked me instead of JJ?”

“We should go to bed.”

“Wait, what’s your truth?”

“My truth is that I’m tired, we should go to sleep.”

Part of you wanted to ask if he wanted to do this now, after the day the two of you had, you’d be perfectly content with going home and leaving this conversation for tomorrow. Instead, you nodded, “Yes, you ignored it.”

Spencer chuckled nervously, “You had been spending weeks looking for a reason to pick a fight with me. I didn’t think you would accept my answer for what it was.”

“The truth,” you drew your own conclusion, shifting uncomfortably on the couch.

Slowly, he knelt on the ground in front of you, “You were looking for me to tell you that I shared JJ’s feelings. You wanted me to say that you were my second choice, but that has never, ever been my truth. It never has been.”

Swallowing thickly, you reached your hands out and took his in yours, gently skimming the pads of your thumbs over the back of his hands, “Spencer, truth or dare?”

“Truth,” he whispered.

“What’s your truth?” You asked him softly, approaching the topic like a deer in the woods.

He looked down at your intertwined hands, noting the fact that you had taken your ring off before he responded, “I’ve spent my entire life trying to live up to the expectations of others. I went to Caltech, then MIT, and then I was recruited to the BAU. Through all that, I was under the impression that I was letting people down.”

This was a familiar conversation to you. You once spent hours talking him off of a metaphorical ledge because he hadn’t cured schizophrenia.

“I’m not the perfect son, who sent his mother away a week after turning eighteen,” an action that had almost gotten him killed. “I’m not a perfect agent and I’m not a perfect friend because the expectations set for me are too high, but I’m not a perfect boyfriend or fiancé either. It’s not because you hold me to a certain standard, it’s because I failed you.”

Your eyes widened at his admission, “Spencer, no, you didn’t.” Your chest ached at the thought of this living in his head. He had been living while paralyzed by the weight of the expectations of others when he just wanted one thing - to feel normal.

He waved you off, “Do you remember what you asked me? On that date in the shooting range?”

Seven years ago, shortly after Emily left for Interpol, you and Spencer had an impromptu date at the shooting range. “I asked you not to break my heart.”

“And I have, haven’t I? Time and time again,” he asked rhetorically, not looking for an answer even when you wanted to prove him wrong. “You’ve watched me get shot, you’ve seen me in handcuffs, beaten, kidnapped, fired – and you’ve never wavered. You have loved me through it all, and I haven’t reciprocated fairly. I had never known unconditional love, and I think you’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to it. I get put on this pedestal by everyone I meet and you’re the only person who has ever made me feel average. I know average is usually used with a negative connotation, but in this case, I mean it positively. You don’t have outlandish requests from me, all you’ve ever asked for is love, and I… I’m never going to be able to verbalize how much that means to me. How much you mean to me.”

“Spencer,” you tried to interject.

His eyes met yours, his brown irises slightly bleary as he looked at you intently, “I am so sorry. I’m sorry about your sister and I’m sorry about kissing Cat and I’m sorry about all of the ways I have broken your heart and if you… if this is where you need to call it, then I completely understand.”

“Spencer,” you echoed.

He tilted his head to the side, “What?”

You raised your eyebrows, “My ring is over there, on the coffee table, will you put it back on for me?”

“Do you mean it?” He asked, reaching behind him for the ring without waiting for your answer.

Holding out your left hand, you nodded, “There have been a lot of wrongs – from the both of us, but I don’t… I can’t hold the JJ thing against you anymore. You’re verifiably a genius. So, if you tell me that the only thing that would’ve pleased Cat is kissing her, then I’ll believe you. I trust you, and if I lose that, then I lose myself.”

He seemingly thought about it for a moment before responding, “It was the only thing I could think of, and I promise I will make this up to you.”

Smiling softly, you flexed your fingers once he slid the ring back on, relishing the feel of the metal on your finger. “Then it’s a good thing you’re only getting married once, it gives you a lot of time to make it up to me.”

“Did you have any ideas?” He asked a little too eagerly.

You beamed, “Oh, I have a few.”  

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[shadowbriar]

Five Hargreeves - Back To You

Pairing : Five Hargreeves x (she/her) Reader Word Count : 2.8k Warning : Angst. Season 4 references. Synopsis : After one too many subway trips, Five's plan of temporal refuge extended as he met someone he refuse to lose. Notes : I refuse to acknowledge what happened in Episode 5 and 6 though I use the gif of said episodes. Don't come at me if you don't agree. If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕

Living in a small cottage by the lake has never been in his cards. To settle down and watch the sun sets everyday, hearing the rocking chair creak as he takes a sip of his coffee. This was beyond anything he could ever hoped for, anything he could afford. He knew that this wasn’t the life he’s supposed to lead. Lord, this wasn’t even a life he owns to begin with. But with each second passed in this universe, Five finds it hard to drag himself back to that subway and return to his own timeline.

“Enjoying the scenery, are we?” She whispers as she sits on his lap, clinging her arms around his neck “You know, I could really use the help stuffing that chicken. It is afterall your special request.”

The boy raised an eyebrow, “Shouldn’t I be off of any chores since it is my special request?”

“Just because it’s your birthday, doesn’t mean you’re having a vacation, big guy,” She reasoned “We’ve only got two hands and this house is only getting bigger than smaller.”

The boy couldn’t bite his grin when he leaned in to kiss her. His heart swells. She was right. The house feels like it’s growing along with them. They might not have much, certainly far from the wealth his father possesses, but it was much more than enough. Having her was much more than enough.

“You know that I love you, right?” Five asks as he pulls away, his left hand still cupping her cheek as his thumb caresses her gently.

“I know,” She nods, smiling “But you can’t sweet talk your way out of kitchen duty, Mister.”

Five chuckles, standing from his seat as he carried her in his arms, “Alright, Missy, let’s see what this chicken fuss is all about.”

—-

The muscles on his cheeks were aching but he couldn’t fight the need to grin as wide as he could. He was happy, watching her carry that awful looking cake out of the oven. The icing that supposedly spelled ‘happy birthday’ was crooked, its colour pale compared to the bright fondant covering it. Thank God the candles were their only source of light, otherwise she wouldn’t even bring it out, he reckons.

“It’s ugly, I know,” She says as she lets it rest on the table “But it tastes better than it looks, I promise.”

Five shakes his head, disagreeing with her discouraging comments as he steals a kiss, “It’s perfect.”

“Well, go on and make a wish!”

The boy closes his eyes. His hands holding hers as he whispers his wish: I wish for this to last forever. Her squeals of excitement was music to his ears as he blew the candles. It is indeed the best birthday of his life.

“I’d ask but I know you wouldn’t tell me your wish.”

“Who said I made any wish?”

“You did,” She says as she helps him cut the cake “You make that little frown everytime you say your little prayer, do you know that?”

“I don’t pray, Love.”

“You do. Well, not religiously, but sometimes you do. You say your little prayer, your hopes. You whisper them sometimes, but most times you just close your eyes and do that little frown thing.”

Five raised an eyebrow, “Have you been watching me?”

“I might,” She teases “I mean who wouldn’t watch such a handsome man like you?”

The night continues as the couple finishes their dinner. Fulfilled would be such an understatement for what he feels right now. Everything he ever wanted, everything he ever dreamed of, is served right in that room. He wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.

“So can I take a guess about what you wished for?”

“Really, Love?” He asked, putting down his glass of wine.

She shrugs, “We’ve talked about everything else, haven’t we?”

“You know, there’s a belief that if you say your prayers, it won’t happen.”

“Well, you’re not saying what it was, I’m just taking a guess what it’s about.” She argues, still persistent “And what’s so bad with it not happening? Do you really want it that bad?”

“I— Nothing, I just don’t—”

“What is it that you could wish for? What is it that you don’t have?”

“Nothing, I’m not saying that I want anything, I just—”

“Is it your family?”

Five pauses. It was as if he was stupefied. He hadn’t thought about his family in a while. Shameful of him, sure, but after one too many subway trips, he figured that a little rest shouldn’t be so bad. He just had to find a timeline where there weren't that many people shooting at him. Perhaps take a week or two to rest and gather his strength before jumping into another subway.

It just had to be her. The girl he bumped into right after he got out of the station. He remembers vividly the concerned look on her face when she saw him. He was littered with bruises, dirt and dust covering his body. He looked more like trouble than a lover yet she still found it in her heart to ask if he needed any help.

And here he was, feeling the happiness in his heart wither as the thought of his family returned to his consciousness. He knew that the universe is cruel, that he couldn’t have the best of both worlds in this lifetime, that he had to choose between his lover or his family. Some nights he wonders if his family had succeeded in preventing another apocalypse without him. Some nights he wonders if his family had found a way to another timeline. Some nights he wonders if his family were still alive. But most nights he tried his best to ignore these wonders. His family must have found a way to stop the apocalypse, or at least escape another one.

Taking a deep breath, Five reaches for her hands. Guilt and regret were evident on her face. He knew that she didn’t mean to sound as cruel. Perhaps it was the wine that made their blood more sensitive or that the fatigue of the day had clouded their minds. Either way he knew that they both would be sorry when the morning came.

“I love you,” He starts gently “I love you more than anything in this and every timeline.”

A tear left her eye. It was painful. To love someone you know doesn’t belong to you. To desperately grasp into the moments you knew would end anytime soon. To selfishly stay in a relationship that was doom from the start. Neither of them deserved this, yet neither of them wanted to let go.

“It’s been six years, Five,” She reasoned “As much as I love you.. We can’t keep living like this.”

“Time works differently there, my love. Six years here might only mean a couple hours there.”

“That doesn’t make it any less wrong for you to stay. Those couple hours might be the most crucial hours for your family. They might be fighting for their lives right now, they might be dying, for all we know! You need to come back to them, Five. You have to.”

Five forces a laugh, “Wait, what are you saying?”

She remained silent. Her tears were falling, biting her lips to conceal her tremble. A bitter feeling is brewing in his stomach now.

“Your family needs you and—”

“Okay, stop,” He stood from his seat with an offended look “Are you breaking up with me? On my birthday?”

She looks away, unable to meet his eyes.

“Goodness, you can’t be serious.”

“What choice do we have, Five? One way or another, you’d have to go back to your family. They need you—”

“And you? You don’t need me anymore?”

Her jaw clenches, “That’s beside the point.”

“No, that is the whole point, actually,” He argues, this time coming close to her “I love you, alright? Why is it so wrong for me to want to be with the person that I love? I’ve lived more than a lifetime alone, why can’t I have someone for once?”

“You don’t belong in this timeline. I—”

“I belong with you,” He cuts in “It’s not the timeline that matters, it’s where you are. I belong with you.”

If there’s anything she loves most about Five other than his gentle and caring nature towards her, it would be how adamant he is once he’s set his mind into something. There’s no doubt in her heart about the genuinity of his words. But as much as she’s grateful and touched over it, she knew that they could only spend so long before the guilt eats them whole.

She lets go of his hands softly, placing them on his cheeks instead. She admires him. The beautiful man that’s now standing in front of her with his heart on his sleeves, announcing his devotion to her on the day when he’s supposed to be the one showered with attention and love. His eyes were glossy, clearly conflicted.

“I love you, Five,” She whispers, gently caressing his skin as if it was their last goodbye “But I can’t keep you here, I can’t. I can’t keep you from your family.”

Five looks defeated, silent.

“Don’t you want to know what happened to them? If they’re okay? If they’ve figured out how to stop the apocalypse? Don’t you want to know?”

“I— I don’t know.” He answers “What I know is that I want to be with you.”

“I’ll always be with you, Love,” She reassures, kissing his cheek “I might not understand how this whole different timelines work, but I know that whichever timeline it is, whatever universe we live in, I will always belong to you. I will always be with you.”

And he finally cries. His tears flowing and wetting her palms. His heart shatters, finally succumbing to the guilt he’s tried so hard to bury and forget. He misses his family, he wanted so badly to get back and pick up where he left off, but would it be worth it? Would leaving everything here be worth it? Would leaving her be worth it?

“We’ll find our way,” She reassures, pulling the broken man into her embrace “You’ll find me in your timeline. Maybe we’ll meet at the grocery store, or at a bar, or perhaps at another train station.”

Five chuckles a little, letting a shaky breath as he asks, “And if we don’t?”

“We will,” She says firmly, giving a little space between them so they could gaze into each other’s face “I’m too much of a troublemaker and you’re too much of a problem solver for us to not meet. It’ll be too hard to ignore each other with our nature, Love. We’re bound to meet each other, in any timeline, in any universe. Trust me.”

The boy forces a smile. He leans in, kissing his lover gently as if she’d burst into petals if he pushed too much. Her hold around his neck feels different. Like she wasn’t looking for support but giving one instead. He could feel her trembling a little as his hands pulled her closer by the waist. Her heart is breaking too, as much as his is, but they knew that it’s inevitable. It’s only a matter of time before time pulls them apart and it certainly would be much more painful then.

“I’ll find you,” He whispers “I promise.”

—-

Canada is certainly much colder than home. Five rubs his hands and blows some air to his palms in hope to gain some warmth, but it’s obvious that the only comfort he’ll find in this weather is to get in Viktor’s bar and ask for some drink. That is, if Diego could start the car and get them going.

“It says here that Viktor’s bar is only five minutes by foot,” Klaus says “Who wants to run to the bar with me?”

“No one is getting out of this car!” Diego says in frustration, irritatedly trying his best to start the engine “We’re going to get to his bar together, in this car. That’s the whole point of a family road trip. We go to the bar by car, not by foot!”

“Yes, but it’s freezing here, Diego! The heater is not even on!” Alison argues.

“Well, it won’t be unless the engine is on.”

“No shit, Luther,” Ben says “I vote to run.”

Lila raises her hand, “Second to run.”

“No! No one is getting out of this car!” Diego yells once more, hitting the steering wheel frustratedly “I just need to—”

And by God’s miracle, the engine turns back on. Though their trip would soon reach its main destination, the bicker done by the family persists. The coldness of Canadian weather and how the heater broke almost twenty kilometres ago has made the seven heads’ temper raise. They really need to get to Viktor’s bar before they start to kill each other.

“I’m out of here,” Five announce as the car gets into the parking space of the bar. He space jumped inside, finding himself on one of the empty stools “Good to see you, Viktor.”

“Five,” VIktor greets, a little startled but his smile grows “You’re here. Where are the others?”

“Still figuring their way out to get here. Can I get whiskey on rocks?”

“On it.”

Five taps on the wooden table as he waits for his drink. His heart was content, as much as it might mean now. Their plan to stop the apocalypse worked. Viktor managed to take the marigold off of Ben before the Cleanse happened and now they’re trying to get back or rebuild their life. For once they finally managed to stop the apocalypse from happening.

Right after they succeeded in preventing the cleanse, Five found himself running to the subway station. He could still feel his feet burning from how fast he tried to get back to the station, wanting to jump in the train and go back to her timeline, but once he got there, the station vanished. There was no trace of it, no matter how many times he tried to run around and look for it. The subway is gone. She is gone.

Perhaps it was the price he has to pay for saving the universe. One’s happiness in exchange for the lives of millions doesn’t seem to be a hard sacrifice to make, but it’s still a tough pill for him to swallow. He knew that she would be proud. That she would hug and kiss him for doing all the hard work in saving the world. But the more he thinks about it, the more it stings for such touch would only be as good as a dream now.

“You ordered whiskey on rocks?” A voice asked, breaking his train of thoughts.

Five’s mouth went agape. He couldn’t tell if he was daydreaming or if this was some sick new power he gained from the marigold, but she was there. Standing right in front of him with a glass of whiskey in her hand.

“Viktor said his brother ordered whiskey on rocks, I assume that’s you?”

“I— Uh, yes,” He stammers, getting off the stool “You’re here.”

Five couldn’t believe his eyes. In his heart he knew that they would meet again, that somehow the universe would let him keep both her and his family, but he never expected that it was true. He never expected that he would meet her again. Not this fast, not this way.

“Sorry?” She asks, raising an eyebrow “Are you okay?”

“Y-Yes. Yes, I’m fine,” Five said, shaking his head and taking the glass “Thank you.”

The girl smiles. It was a different smile than what he’s used to seeing. There wasn’t much love in her eyes, but he wasn’t in the position to complain. The girl he’s staring at and his lover might be the same person but she’s yet to know him here. She’s yet to know that he’s hers. She’s yet to know that he loves her. She’s yet to know that he belongs to her.

“Sorry, but have we met before?” She asks, still staring back at him “You look very familiar.”

“Uh, no, I don’t think so,” He lied, offering his hand “I’m Five. Five Hargreeves. Viktor’s brother.”

She took his hand, telling him her name, “I didn’t know Viktor had a baby brother.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not really his baby brother. It’s— It’s complicated.” Five could feel his cheeks burning like a little boy, bashful “It’s a long story.”

“You mind telling me about it?” She asks, leaning on the table “I’ve got time. I love hearing stories.”

“I know you do,” He says with a big smile “Well, where do I start..”

[lxclerc]

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭, 𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐢 ─ 𝐜𝐥𝟏𝟔

summary... in which karma finally bites you in the ass faceclaim... christina nadin pairing... charles leclerc x reader warning... none so far. petty charles and petty reader

note... i need everyone to pretend like all the text messages are in french. also no charles yet but lots of charles in the next part.

series masterlist main masterlist

part one → current part (part two) → part three

charles leclerc has never been on your podcast. it isn’t for the lack of trying per se but rather out of your own sheer stubbornness and need to protect your pride. chasing red, the motorsport podcast you’d built from the ground up, consists of you and your best friend emma. months ago, emma had emailed charles inviting him as a guest with emma alone as the host. it’s already unusual in itself considering you’re in every episode, but charles had replied to the email with a sort of snarkiness you aren’t used to but definitely not surprised to hear. 

dear emma,

if y/n wants me as a guest then she can contact me herself. thank you. sincerely, charles

it had been short and to the point and you’d rolled your eyes when you read it. if charles wanted to be petty then you’re certainly not about to appear on his doorstep begging him to come on your show. charles seems to forget that he’s gotten his pettiness from you. 

still, after that particularly irritating email, emma had been badgering you to explain what had happened. charles leclerc is the nice guy after all. who else would let ferrari fuck them over as much and still scream forza ferrari at the top of his lungs? according to emma, it’s simply impossible for charles to respond in such a way without some hidden history between the two of you. 

and she wouldn’t be wrong but you’d been able to keep that under wraps pretty well. you’ve kept your past right where it belongs – in the past and in your opinion, there’s simply no need to dig up old bones. of course, up until now as you watched with furrowed brows as your name trended on twitter. it seems no matter how deep you bury old bones, it comes back and haunts you – or in your case, bites you in the ass.

“you dated him!” you winced at emma’s sharp tone. you already feel a headache coming in – you hadn’t expected to be shoved down memory lane at a random tuesday if you’re being completely honest and you’re definitely not in the right state of mind to be dealing with it. 

“keep your voice down,” you say, putting your phone down and allowing yourself a sip of your coffee as you try to ignore emma’s incredulous looks. 

“you dated him?” she says again, in a sarcastic whisper this time that made you roll your eyes. you hated her sometimes. you love her of course, but you really hate her sometimes. 

and you hate whichever idiot got ahold of those photos. everyone seems to have so much to say but they can’t seem to comprehend that the charles and y/n in those photos aren’t the same charles and y/n now. you’re both grown now, no longer little kids fueled only with dreams and ambitions. now you’re fueled entirely by coffee and the will to not stalk his social media. 

you’re over charles leclerc. you’re so over him that you spend all your time applauding yourself just how over him you are. of course, you’ve seen charles around after the break up. you both live in monaco after all. it’s impossible not to accidentally pass by each other walking to the grocery store or be at the same restaurant or the same party. you’ve seen him around the paddock multiple times but neither of you say anything. sometimes your eyes meet and the familiarity in each other is difficult to ignore but mostly, you just walk past each other as though you’re strangers, as if you hadn’t spent your childhood memorizing the patterns in his eyes. 

you groaned at where your mind went. this is the last thing you want to be thinking – or talking – about at eight in the morning. you blame twitter and emma entirely for your predicament. it doesn’t help that you share an apartment with her too. 

“no comment,” you say finally at her expectant face. 

her little evil grin terrifies you as he picks up a stack of papers from the coffee table, placing it in front of you. “i’d suggest clearing the air between the two of you before thursday because you’re spending vegas with ferrari.” 

you almost spit your coffee as you grabbed the paper and double checked. unfortunately, there it is in plain sight, your sponsor team right next to ferrari. the document contains your schedule for vegas as an F1 presenter. you’ve been lucky enough not to be assigned to ferrari since you’ve been assigned the job three months ago. but alas, all your bad karma seems to have finally caught up with you today as you read through your itinerary, the first words being an ice breaker game with carlos sainz and charles leclerc proceeding with a hot lap with one of the drivers on friday. 

oh jesus christ, you’re screwed. 

yourusername

liked by arthur_leclerc and others

yourusername vegas ready and sporting red for the weekend!

view all comments...

emmauser very excited for the weekend

⤷ yourusername 🖕🏻

⤷ username emma what do you know

username god have answered all my prayers and forced y/n and charles to finally interact

username watching the childhood lovers to strangers, forced proximity trope in real time

⤷ username i am so invested actually

username her and charles are my roman empire

⤷ username they have consumed every nook and cranny of my feeble brain im afraid

username now what in the booktok is going on

taglist: @nhlfs @livinglifethroughfanfic @sage-butterflyy @chimchimjiminie16 @thatgirlmj @hiraethrhapsody @roseseraj @celestialams @1655clean @minkyungseokie @ssararuffoni @f1verse @honethatty12 @formulas-bitch @nmw-am @lorarri @erikasurfer @thievin-stealing @glow-ish @raevyng @scenesofobx @coffeehurricanes

[xiaoluvss]

poetry and sweet words. ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

— your roommate !

(roommate!kazuha x reader)

(spoiler · he takes you to the fireworks festival at the end<33 aaahhhh i love him sm🥹. .)

warning ; toothrotting fluff !!

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶ roommate!kazuha who is the absolute sweetest and gentlest roommate ever. he isn't even the noisy type, he barely makes any noise and even does all the dish washing for you . .

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶ roommate!kazuha who insists on doing the cleaning, yet just lets out a defeated sigh because you were too stubborn and insisted that you do it instead.

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶ roommate!kazuha who got closer and closer to you each day, to the point where you two just had a silent agreement that he'd join you in whatever anime or show you're watching each night on the weekends.

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶ roommate!kazuha who eventually developed a tiny crush on you, thinking that you were absolutely ethereal.

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶ roommate!kazuha who made you his muse. absolutely defied the 'always the poet, never the poem' or 'always the artist, never the muse' mindset you had.

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶ roommate!kazuha who shows you each and every poem or haiku he makes, since you always ask to. he smiles ever so gently at you as he reads them out loud. oh, how he wishes you knew that these poems were about you. if you ever did ask, he'd just calmly say it was a secret.

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶ roommate!kazuha who insists on joining you everytime you go grocery shopping, in which he does, and pushes the cart for you as you look around for the stuff on your grocery list. he even carries the bags for you after.

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶ roommate!kazuha who overheard you mumbling about wanting an iced matcha latte on a very warm day. you glance over to see him crouched right in front of you with a soft smile and holding out his hand towards you. "matcha, right? let's go get some at the café. c'mon, now."

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶ roommate!kazuha who takes care of you so well...you're usually always the one cooking for him, but he'd always cook you hot soup whenever you're sick. he always makes sure to keep you hydrated at school especially if it's a warm day . . by buying you your favorite drink from the vending machine! there's never a day where he isn't joining you for lunch.

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶ roommate!kazuha who lets you play with his hair or touch it whenever you like. he loves the feeling of your soft hands on his head. sometimes you even give him headpats while you're on the couch, and he's there sitting down on the floor in front of you with closed eyes and a content expression.

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶ roommate!kazuha who comforts you by giving you the best hugs and head rubs ever. even goes as far as buying you your favorite food or drink, or writing a new haiku to read it to you and cheer you up.

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶ roommate!kazuha who admires you from afar as you speak with your friends or just doing something as simple as reading. his gaze looks as almost if he was completely entranced and so in love with you..

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶ roommate!kazuha whose noticed how stressed you were lately, deciding to surprise you by making you both dress in a yukata for 'no reason' and then taking you somewhere 'secret', as he said so.

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶ roommate!kazuha who takes you to the annual fireworks festival, watching you intently as he leads you around and watches the corners of your lips start to turn upwards. he takes you to every food and game stall, too. it was like your usual 12th episode in a romance anime.

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶ roommate!kazuha who watches the fireworks show unfold with you. he gives you a side glance and smiles as he watches that cute excited expression on your face.

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶ roommate!kazuha who, with the fireworks in the background, laces his fingers with yours and holds your hand as you both watch the stunning and radiant scene right in front of you. <3

[writersblog20]

Nobody else but you

Pedro Pascal x reader

Credit to gif maker!

Summary: Your friendship with Pedro gets tested when you watched the last of us together. It was already hard to contain your crush for Joel but for Pedro felt like an impossible task. But maybe you were on the same page all along.

Warnings: FLUFF, SPOILERS for episode 3 of TLOU! Bit of anxiety if you squint, mention of daddy issues (shocker), very heated kiss but no smut

Words: 4,2K

Nobody else but you

You came home late at night from a very tough day and you couldn’t wait to be cuddled up in Pedro’s arms and sleep. You and Pedro were very good friends although you couldn’t say that you and Pedro had a normal friendship. You cuddled together, sought comfort in one another etc. I mean it never got any further than cuddles and falling asleep together. So it wasn’t new that either you or Pedro would crawl in your or his bed. Today was no different. You stayed over at Pedro’s house for a while because of work and he offered that you would stay with him and you had no problem with that at all. Besides, you both got closer to each other since you stayed there.

You grumbled when you softly opened the door and placed your bags on the table. The lights were already out so you figured that Pedro was already asleep. I mean it was 4 AM…. You were partly a concert photographer so you had a drum and bass show, those were always tough, knowing that there was a very big chance that you would be done around 8 in the morning so you were happy that you got home ‘early’.

That’s also how you met Pedro, you had to photograph him multiple times and after that you both just continued to walk into each other. So when you found yourself at a party where he was, you both talked for the entire evening and the rest is history.

You tip toed to the bathroom and took a warm shower, did your skincare and took a shirt from Pedro, putting it on you and tip toed to Pedro’s room. You slowly opened the door, trying to be as silent as you could and carefully walked over to the bed. He laid on his side towards you. You opened the covers and pulled his arm up so you could cuddle with him.

You heard a low grumble, letting you know that Pedro slowly woke up. You laid with your back to him and pulled his arm over your body.  Before you could get completely comfortable, Pedro already placed his arm tightly around your waist and pulled you against his chest as the little spoon. “You’re home early.” He mumbled into your ear while his nose nuzzled into your freshly cleaned hair. “I know, I’m exhausted.” Pedro mumbled and pulled you closer to his chest in response while tucking your head underneath his chin. You closed your eyes and focused on Pedro’s breathing as it slowly lulled you in a deep sleep, which wasn’t hard when you felt on the safest place on earth.

~time skip~

You woke up by the sunlight that peeked through the curtains. You felt a pounding headache coming up as you sat up on Pedro’s bed. Your head felt heavy and you let yourself fall back on the bed, letting out a loud groan from annoyance that you woke up while you were still extremely tired until you smelled something from the kitchen. Now that you fully started to wake up, you heard soft music coming from downstairs. You smiled to yourself, knowing that Pedro made you breakfast. You felt the butterflies going through your body and all of a sudden you didn’t mind waking up.

Yeah you were in love with the older man, I mean who wouldn’t be right? He was the sweetest, most caring person you’ve ever met. He was a goofball but when you needed comfort he could give that too. Pedro was so precious that you would defend him until the end of your life. Besides, let’s not forget how excruciatingly handsome he is.

You sat at the edge of the bed, goosebumps covering your body from the cold. You looked around and saw Pedro’s sweater laying besides you with a sweatpants underneath of Pedro. He had laid it out for you. You smiled to yourself and grabbed the comfortable clothes. The hoodie still smelled like Pedro and you couldn’t resist to bury your nose in it once you put it on your body. You were excited to see Pedro so you quickly put the sweats on and freshened up before walking downstairs.

You saw Pedro in the kitchen, dancing a bit to a song that was playing in the kitchen as he flopped the pancake over. There was already an entire plate filled with pancakes. You smiled to yourself and from the cuteness. Pedro turned around for the coffee and saw you standing there with a smile which he duplicated as soon as he saw you.

“Hey! Good morning sweetheart.” He told you with a big grin on his face and walked over to you to give you a hug. His face was buried in your neck and you could feel his hot breath on your skin. You tightened your arms around him. He kissed the top of your head before stepping out of the hug to go check on the pancake. “Did you sleep well?” he asked you with a soft tone in his voice. “Yeah, just short. I still feel completely exhausted and my muscles ache.” You chuckled as it was no surprise. The whole entire night running around to get the best picture was sometimes a lot. Especially with drum and bass party’s.

Pedro gave you a soft look while he put the last pancake on the plate. You walked up besides him to get yourself and Pedro another coffee. “What about you? Did you sleep well?” you asked him. “After you got home safe, yes.” You smiled flustered to yourself and your heart fluttered up by the small but still big gesture for you.

You both sat down and ate the pancakes while you told him about your evening. Your work was almost never boring and it brought some great stories with it. After breakfast, Pedro went to the store to get some grocery’s while you opened your laptop and started going through all the pictures of the night and started editing them.

Only when Pedro came home with all the groceries, did you stop for a second and helped him placing everything away. You saw that Pedro got a lot of snacks and your favorite drinks making you smile to yourself. At this point Pedro didn’t have to do much for your heart to fill itself up with love. “Hey, the new episode of The last of us is out tonight…. Want to watch it together? I’m really curious what you think of it.” You looked up at him “Fine, but you guys better don’t break my heart this episode.” You pointed towards him.

You LOVED the Last of us. Especially Pedro’s character Joel. You didn’t want Pedro to notice your ongoing crush on his character but first of all, the daddy issues that you have are certainly not working in your favor with this goddamn show and second, the salt and pepper hair….. god that did things to you that are better left unsaid.

Pedro smiled but didn’t say anything about it. “So we’ll watch it together?” Pedro asked hopeful. You wondered what was going to happen this episode because you knew Pedro didn’t really enjoy watching himself on screen. “Yeah, we’ll watch it together.” You smiled and got back behind your computer. Pedro’s smile went big, knowing that you agreed to watching the heartbreaking episode with him.

~time skip~

You had no idea how long you’ve been behind your computer editing the pics but when you looked outside, it was already dark out. Pedro was making dinner and poured a glass of wine in for the both of you and made his way towards you while he had to wait for dinner. Pedro softly patted your shoulder and without looking away from your computer you stood up so Pedro could sit down on your chair. When he did, he placed his hands carefully on your waist as a hint that you could sit down again.

You sat on his lap while Pedro rested his head on your shoulder looking at your skills with the editing. You tried to concentrate but sitting currently on the lap of the man you’re in love with wasn’t helping your case whatsoever. “God you’re really talented. I mean, I already know that but you surprise me every time.” You smiled at the compliment. You had only 5 pictures left to edit before you could send it. You quickly edited them while Pedro held you close, his arms wrapped around your waist, head still resting on your shoulder and at this point, you only wanted to cuddle up with Pedro.

When the timer in the kitchen went off, you stood up again. Pedro reluctantly let go off you and stood up before he kissed your cheek. “Dinner is almost ready, mi corazon.” He told you and you felt your cheeks heat up at the kiss he planted there. You were done and had send it to your client and closed the laptop, helping Pedro with the table.

You chatted a bit through the delicious dinner and finished your wine. “Thank you so much for cooking tonight. It was absolutely delicious!” you told him as your plate was now empty. Pedro smiled at you “My pleasure sweetheart, I know you’re exhausted and tired.” You nodded. An night like that drained your energy for at least 2 days after the event and Pedro knew that. One time, he went to a concert with friends were you worked and he saw how hard you were working and running around, sitting or laying down in the weirdest positions just to capture that one pic. Pedro was dead beat after that night and he didn’t even needed to work so he could imagine how much energy it took from you.

You helped Pedro with the dishes as you danced to the music in the background and laughing a lot together before you both plopped on the couch for the episode. You rested against Pedro’s side, his arm around your shoulder and you let your head rest on his chest.

You were met with the characters Bill and Frank and you became attached to them in no time. “They better live a happy life and nothing bad is going to happen to them….” You remarked and gave Pedro a side eye, knowing  that there probably something bad going to happen. Pedro just kissed the top of your head and you concentrated back on the tv. When the scene came up where Joel and Tess met Bill and Frank, you couldn’t help but smile. Pedro could you feel smile against his chest and looked at you and the way you smiled softly at the screen made his heart flutter and he couldn’t hide the smile that was creeping up on his face.

Your smile fell when Joel warned Bill about the gates, knowing this was going to get into play soon and of course you were right. You finally came at the scene where people tried to get through the gates and where Bill got shot. Your eyes filled itself with tears and you sniffled, making Pedro look worried at you. Pedro placed both of his arms around you and nuzzled his face into your hair. “It’s not fair.” You murmured through tears when you thought this was the end for Bill.

But when the scene came up where Frank was in the wheelchair and Bill stepped out, you stopped crying and your mouth open in surprise. “Did they just bamboozle me?” you were in shock and Pedro chuckled. You felt tears slip again when the painting scene was coming up and obviously the end….

You started to cry your eyes out and Pedro sat up completely. He chuckled softly but pulled you in a hug. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry sweetheart, I’m sorry.” He told you apologetic while kissing the side of your head multiple times. “They deserved the world. I’m happy that they had a good life together for an apocalyptic world and stuff and that they died happy together but it’s not fair.” You cried out. Pedro smiled sadly at how much you were invested in the character and how sensitive you could be. Some people didn’t liked that but Pedro made sure that you felt safe enough to open up to him and show your sensitive side. That meant that you trusted him and in all fairness, he absolutely loved and adored your sensitive side.

Pedro comforted you through it but you stopped crying when Joel and Ellie appeared again. Every time Joel came on screen he could feel you smile against his chest, making him look at you with a smile. He started figuring out that you REALLY like Joel. You smiled at the car scene where Joel put the seatbelt on Ellie and you couldn’t hide your grin because you were so caught up in the episode. Pedro raised his eyebrow and smiled from amusement. You sniffled when the episode ended and you stood up, wiping the tears away as you made your way to the kitchen “My god what an episode.” You said quietly, still not over Bill and Frank.

Pedro followed you, feeling a bit worried. You made some tea and you felt Pedro behind you, his hands rubbing up and down on your arms and his head resting on your shoulder again. “I’m sorry.” He told you, making you turn around. “You owe me!” you pointed playfully with your finger, poking his chest. “Yes, yes I do. I do owe you. I’ll make you all the pancakes in the world.” He told you, referring to Joel, making you cry again. “That’s not fair Pascal.” You told him, making him chuckle and pulled you in a hug. “I’m sorry baby” he chuckled but adored it.

"Do you like Joel?” you looked shocked at the sudden question as Pedro looked at you with amusement. You quickly turned around to make the tea. "Uhh why you as?"

“I could feel and see you smile every time he was on screen.” Pedro teased you a bit.

Yeah you had a crush on Joel but that was because Pedro was playing Joel. And of course the caring dad nature of Joel but still. You shrugged, trying to play it cool. “Maybe I do have a crush on Joel.” You tried to act calm and collected. “A crush even?” Pedro teased you even further with a huge smirk on his face. You felt the heat creeping up and smiled shyly but tried to keep your cool. But obviously Pedro got really excited to hear that you had a crush on his character and asked further like an excited child. “So, what is it that you like about Joel?” Pedro asked you with a big smile and big eyes, his attention fully on you while he couldn’t stand still from excitement.

You chuckled at Pedro but felt your cheeks heat up now that you realized that you had to answer his question. You shrugged “I don’t know, I guess his way of acting maybe? Ya know the caring side and stuff.” You tried to shrug Pedro off. “Awww come on, tell me! I want to know!” Pedro held strong with still a bright smile, knowing that you tried to ditch the question.

You couldn’t look at him while you were debating if you should tell him or not. You kept quite for a moment so Pedro peeked his head besides yours from curiosity. “My god, P” you chuckled at his antics. “Please? It means so much to me hearing that from you!” you smiled softly. You knew Pedro really held your opinion high. “Like what everyone says on the internet P.” you told him, hoping that it would click inside of his head but the moment you looked at him you saw him digging in his memory.

“Well most say that they really like that I’m playing Joel and well you know, the dad of the internet.” He said the last sentence with a proud grin, making you chuckle and shake your head at his innocence and confused state. You walked up to Pedro and placed your hand on his cheek. “You’re too precious, Pedro. ” you told him with a soft smile while Pedro looked at you surprised, his brown eyes big as they met yours. You rubbed your thumb softly on his cheek before walking back to the couch. You could almost swear that Pedro was blushing and it made your stomach flutter by the thought of you letting Pedro Pascal blush without trying.

Pedro was surprised and stood still in the kitchen. His cheek was warm where you had placed your hand. He softly looked down at the floor as he touched his cheek where your hand was. Pedro always had a feeling that you had a crush on him and he knew what the internet said but he wanted to hear the words from your mouth. He wanted to hear you say that you had a crush on him and not on his character. He had a crush on you and he wanted more than your friendship. It started to weigh on his shoulder. Pedro walked back into the livingroom where you were chilling on the couch.

“Can I ask you something princesa?” Pedro asked when he sat down next to you. You hummed a little in response that he could. “Do you have a crush on me?” Pedro simply and directly asked you, taking you by surprise. You almost chocked on your drink and your heart started beating so extremely fast that you thought that it was trying to run out of your body.

You didn’t dare to look at Pedro right now while you started to get extremely nervous. “Ehhh, why you ask?” you chuckled uncomfortable. Pedro took your hand in his and started playing with your fingers. “Do you?” he asked again. You had no idea what to say and got so caught up in your head that you forgot that you stayed silent for a long time. “Because I do.” He told you in a whisper but loud enough to get you out of your thoughts , snapping your head towards Pedro. He was already looking at you and once your eyes met his, your features softened just like his. “What?” you whispered, not believing that you heard that correct.

“I have a pretty big crush on you.” Pedro told you but looked down to his hand that was playing nervously with yours. You placed your other hand on his cheek, making him look a little surprise at you. “Are you serious right now?” you knew he was but still. He nodded and you felt a warm feeling take over your body and you went with your hand through his messy hair. Pedro closed his eyes at the comforting feeling. “I do. I do too have a pretty big crush on you. although I don’t think I can call it a crush anymore….” You confessed. Pedro’s eyes shot open and a smile appeared on his face.

“You do?” he asked a little excited, making you chuckle. “Yeah I do.” You both started to giggle while Pedro placed his forehead against yours. His messy hair tickling your forehead. You went with your hand softly over his cheek, feeling his stubbles underneath your hand. Pedro placed his hand on your cheek as well ��Can I kiss you?” he asked you, making you smile like a highschooler again and nodded. “shut up and kiss me.” Pedro’s smile got brighter and softly placed his lips on yours. You both enjoyed the close contact before Pedro started to kiss you deeper and sensual. He tried to show all his love through that kiss and got did it flutter your heart.

You moved yourself and sat on his lap. Pedro’s hand went from the back of your neck to your hips giving it a light squeeze. You placed your hand back on his cheek and the other disappeared in his hair. You could feel his tongue against yours and your stomach released all the butterflies that were stuck in the cage. You subconsciously grinded yourself on him and Pedro moaned in the kiss, spreading heat to completely somewhere else as the kiss turned more heated. His fingers dug into your hips, helping you grind down on him. Pedro turned around with you still in his lap and laid you down on the couch. You both got out of the kiss, out of breath and stared at each other while Pedro hang above you, his hand still resting on your side. He looked down at your body and back to you with a smirk, making you feel flustered. His hand moved from your side to your cheek, his thumb softly rubbing your skin. You felt all giddy with the adorable look that he had on his face right now and started giggling shyly again, making him chuckle as well and placed his lips back on yours.

You put your legs around his body and Pedro carefully put his body on yours, holding himself up by his elbow. The kiss was more sensual and passionate right now. Pedro got out of the kiss after a while and pressed a kiss to your nose and to your forehead. His arms got underneath your body and he sat up, you clinging to his body.

You were chest to chest again. “Can you hold me please?” you asked him softly. “I’ll do whatever you ask me to do sweetheart.” He told you, placing a kiss on your cheek and placed his arms tightly around you, pulling you as close to his chest as he could. You wrapped your arms around Pedro and hid your face in his neck, giving him goosebumps over his entire body. He softly rubbed your back and let you hug him for as long as you needed to.

You softly placed kisses on Pedro’s neck, giving him more goosebumps and his breath was shaky. You got out of the hug and looked at each other before giving another passionate kiss.  “So I guess I’m sleeping next to you again tonight?” you asked, making Pedro chuckle. “When don’t we sleep together?” he asked you jokingly, making you laugh and Pedro just looked mesmerized at you, proud that he could make you laugh. “So… I want to take you out on a real date.” Pedro told you. You couldn’t hide the smile from your face and nodded. “Yeah, I would really like that.” Pedro smiled even brighter.

You yawned slightly, making Pedro giggle. “Yeah let’s go to bed mama, you still need rest.” he told you and kissed your forehead. You got off of Pedro’s lap and helped him up, reaching out your hand for him to take. You wanted to turn away towards the stairs but Pedro still held your hand and pulled you carefully back to his chest. You started to feel very shy and giddy. Pedro placed a finger underneath your chin and kissed you again.

Once he broke from the kiss, you started to giggle again. “Sorry I already know that I’ll never get enough from you.” Pedro smiled and wiggled his eyebrows, making you giggle again at his flirting and softly swapped his chest, walking away from him. Pedro chuckled and while he put out every light, he still had a permanent smile on his face.

You got freshened up, got rid of the comfy clothes and put on Pedro’s shirt again before laying down in bed, waiting for Pedro to join you and of course the man didn’t take very long before he entered into the bedroom. He smiled as soon as he saw you. “Hiya mama.” He said with a smirk, making you giggle. He crawled on top of the covers, towards you. You felt your entire face heat up and your smile so bright. Everything this man did now towards you made you shy as hell. You weren’t used to this anymore for a very long time. Hell nobody had even treated you like the way Pedro did.

Pedro sat on top of you, his legs on either side of your body as he held his own up by his hands. He came closer to your face, kissing you passionately again. Your hands found his hair and Pedro got out of the kiss. “I really like it when you play with my hair.” He told you, his minty breath against your face as you smiled out. “I really like your hair.” You told him, softly combing it with your fingers. Pedro smiled at you “You know, I can be Joel if you want me to.” Pedro playfully said but you shook your head. “I don’t want Joel, P. I want you and no one else.” Pedro’s eyes softened and looked like he could cry from happiness while he attacked your face with kisses, making you giggle. He was on the edge of telling you that he loved you with his entire heart but he didn’t want to scare you off. He wanted to give you all the time in the world and letting you set the pace.

He gave you one last goodnight kiss for the day and got underneath the covers next to you. You both laid face to face and stared for a while in each other’s eyes. You scooped yourself closer to him. You rested your head against his chest while his arms were around you. Pedro placed multiple kisses on your head before saying: “Goodnight, mi amor.” You smiled against his chest and he could feel it like before so he pressed a kiss on your head again in response. “Goodnight, handsome.” You told him with all the courage you had. You heard and felt him chuckling. You shrugged “You are.” You told him simply but the man besides you was blushing like crazy.

“Me? Have you seen yourself? You are drop dead gorgeous" He told you, making you both smile. You looked up at him and he was already looking at you with a cute smile. You softly kissed him and got back to your warm and comforting place: Pedro’s arms. You both closed your eyes, happy that finally  the secret was out. The air was lighter around you and a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. You were so happy and content with exactly where you were and that was right here besides Pedro.

[d4yl1ghts]

Hi! I have a king George request!

He saw her one time and from there on he makes sure to be at any event shes at, he starts crushing on her so hard and she becomes his "venus".

So when he has an episode around her she calms him down and they start talking and they kiss for the first time

Cute fluff 😘

Thank uuuuu

venus

king george iii x fem!reader

summary: george takes a liking to you over time and at a ball you help him through an episode

warnings: mental health episodes

-

You were currently dancing with a young suitor as you felt eyes lustfully taking your figure in. Turning your head sideways, you noticed the King eagerly awaiting for you by the side.

George was awed by your beauty, he had never seen someone so beautiful. Each time his eyes wanted to stray away, they would just land right back on you. He had been harvesting a liking to you for the past few weeks as he had seen you at many balls and events. At each event you were at, he always stood to the side and analysed your features.

Your suitor had finally gone after the dance had finished and so you elegantly made your way over to the King. Once you had reached him, you curtsied. He bashfully smiled. “Hello, Lady Y/N.”, he welcomed you softly. “Hello, your majesty.”, you responded. “I would ask for a dance but I notice your dance card is full but it does not matter, in fact I never really enjoyed dancing.”, he stated kindly. “Yes, I was never one for dancing either, I’d rather be at the side of the ballroom talking to people like you.”, you replied honestly. “Royalty?”, he joked and chuckled. You laughed slightly.

“Would you like to go outside where it is not so crowded?”, he offered. “Yes, of course.”

George gave you his hand and guided you to a secluded area outside. He gazed up at the sky. “Have you ever watched the stars before?”, he questioned. “No, but I would love to.”, you said. He began pointing out the important stars and explaining their history and the lore behind them. You noticed his hand had started trembling but brushed it off. “You’re like Venus.”, he whispered to you. “You always manage to capture my eyes and my mind.”, he said tentatively to you. He felt his hand tremble and his head. “Would you mind getting Reynolds, please?”, he softly asked.

You hurried off to find Reynolds, you didn’t know what was going on but you weren’t going to ask questions about the King’s health. You found Reynolds beside a carriage. “Reynolds, the King has requested you.”, you walked off hastily with Reynolds behind you. You reached George and saw him speaking to himself and his head twitching. “Is he okay?”, you asked concerned. “Lady Y/N, please return to the ball.”, Reynolds commanded. “No, let her stay if she would like.”, George said. You walked closer to George and grabbed his trembling hands.

“It will be alright, your majesty.”, you stated. “Why don’t you tell me about Venus?”, you added, hoping to distract his mind from whatever was going on. “A rare occurrence is coming. Venus will travel in a single arc and give us a single moment to take precise measurements and we shall know the distance from the Earth to the Sun.”, he said with his voice shaking. He paused. “The transit of Venus it is called. It will be quite a spectacle.”, he stated with a lost look in his eyes. “I’m sure it will, it sounds very intriguing and important for the study of astronomy.”, you mentioned as you noticed his hands had stopped trembling so violently.

Reynolds was stood off to the side, allowing you your moment. His head stopped twitching and he was no longer mumbling incoherent words. Your hands still held his and he tightened his grip on yours. He gazed at you. “I am sorry.”, he said pitifully. “For what?”, you asked. “I am a mad man.”, he turned his eyes to his hands. “George, you are no mad man. I see a kind and funny man.”, you stated genuinely. You looked into his eyes and gently pecked his lips before he kissed back hungrily. “I must head back. I hope to see you in the future, Lady Y/N.”, he kissed your hand gently. You smiled at him and bid your goodbyes.

[damn-stark]

Chapter 15 I was born something

Chapter 15 of Moonlight

A/N- Soulmatism is both being called to power at the same time, one shrouded by darkness and the other illuminated by bright flames.

Warning- Swearing, talks of pregnancy and sexual harassment, ser gwayne (not bad I just want to say he's in this chapter tehe) angst!!, fluff!!, SPOILERS, LONG CHAPTER.

Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader

Episode- 2x05-and the very beginning of 2x06

(If you want to be tagged let me know)

————

He listened to your breaths as they came and went. They’re calm, and the most sweetest song.

Worry once plagued him, it clashed into him the moment he saw you falling under that fainting spell, he was lucky to have been so close otherwise, you would have hit the ground. Yet he didn't take that as a sign of luck at that moment. His worry brought out the worst of his anger he is willing to admit, but why shouldn’t he be upset?

He saw you fall, you could have been dying, and there’s nothing that he could’ve done to prevent death from taking you away from him, so all he knew how to be was desperate. There was no other emotion that would’ve felt right, not even as the maester was checking you.

Did it help in that situation? No, you would have told him that, his mother would have told him that, but he didn’t care, he was terrified until the exact moment the maester revealed you were with child with twins. He felt a bliss wash over him at that moment, like the sun breaking through dark clouds made by a raging storm.

Yet his worry was all but gone, it lingers even still, like sprinkling rain after the worst of the storm. He admires you as you sleep, he admires the way the sun kisses your soft skin making you illuminate even more divine than you already are. He takes note of the way your eyelashes kiss your skin, and the way your lips gently rest on each other. He could watch you for hours on end, his peace in the chaos of the world, his way of life; without you, life would be dull, lifeless, bleak, black and white, boring, and almost pointless.

How could other people find a way to love someone else? Sure he seeked company in someone, it’s his greatest sin and he will never commit it again. Not even if you die. If it was his responsibility to have more children to secure his succession then he would do his duty, but he wouldn’t love her, he would think of you, your smile, your laugh, your beauty, your touch, and your enchanting song because he knows no one would ever love him like you love him.

It’s pretty foolish of you to love him after what he’s done to break your heart, but for some reason, you keep clinging onto him like when you were young. You had a chance to escape, to laugh and point with the others, but you never did, and you never have. It’s perhaps the only weakness in you, but he’s grateful, blessed, and glad that you continue to love him unconditionally.

It’s why he has to protect you. You and your son—your children.

“Aemond.”

He hears the call and looks at the intruder who barged in without warning; seeing his mother walking in with worry filtered in her big brown eyes.

“How is she?” She asks.

Aemond returns his attention to you in hopes you’ll wake soon and continues to stroke your knuckles with his thumb as he refuses to let your hand go.

“The maester said she will be fine,” Aemond shares. “It was her grief and the fact that she did not eat.”

Alicent walks down the two steps that lead to the bed and watches her son and his refusal to miss a single breath that escapes you.

“How did you tell her?” She asks with a hint of judgment clinging onto her. “I hope you did not just blurt it. She may be on our side, but the others are still her family that she loves, you need to be careful when you share such dark words.”

Aemond huffs and turns his head to pass her a brief glare that she misses as she watches you.

“Did you know?” He asks and chooses not to comment on the fact that he knows how to talk to you, he’s no imbecile. “She’s with child.”

Alicent’s brown eyes find him and he quickly looks back at you. “Yes, Helaena told me last night. She just found out, which is why I warn you that you need to be—”

“I know,” he cuts his mother off impatiently. “I know how to talk to her. I’m no fool. I’m not…mhm,” he chooses to leave Aegon out of the conversation.

“Twins, Helaena says,” Alicent chooses to ignore what was at the tip of his tongue and reaches the foot of the bed to watch Aemond and his short-lived bliss. “Congratulations. You must be happy.”

Aemond tilts his head, making his hair cascade over his shoulder and hide the faint smile that tugs on his lips, and stays while he reaches his hand over to caress your belly with a feathered touch.

Before he can express his joy, or give any positive reaction at all, he takes a deep breath as if the next words that are coming out of him are going to hurt to say, causing his happiness to dimishness as worry makes itself plain to see.

“One…twin is smaller than the other the maester says,” he says in a voice that’s so rare for Alicent to hear nowadays. “What does that mean?”

He looks over at his mother for help, for reassurance that it will be fine. As if her words were the salvation.

“Just that,” she tries to comfort Aemond’s worry that begins to ache her own heart even if she tries hard to fight it. “Sometimes it tends to happen with twins, one takes more than the other, but,” she breathes out deeply and looks at you with more worry than she offered her son. “It’s still early, it will resolve.”

Aemond’s eye stays on his mother to take in more comfort but when he finds none his eyes return to you and tries to believe the little help his mother offered with a faint smile—No, he smirks now and this time Alicent doesn’t miss it.

“This war will take a lot from us, but my children will be the future of my house. I will make sure of it,” he says, making Alicent’s lips twitch to a frown while her eyebrows knit together with conflict brought by his choice of words.

A gleam proceeds to catch her eyes and when she locates where it comes from, she sees Aegon’s Valyrian steel dagger strapped to his belt as if it was a trophy he won and needed to show off to everyone who had eyes.

“Be easy on her,” Alicent musters as she breathes out her conflict. “And don’t involve her in your warpath, Aemond.”

He scoffs but doesn’t counter, he instead interjects softly. “She won’t be happy about it.”

Alicent chuckles breathlessly. “No, she will not, it seems she inherited her ferocity from both parts of her family.”

He hums and slides his hand away from your belly to cup your hand with both of his large hands to be able to bring your hand up and kiss your knuckles.

“She won’t wake,” Aemond mutters ever so softly with a hint of desperation that escapes as if asking for help without outright expressing it at this moment where it’s just her and him.

“Give her time,” she offers him some console. “The maester said she will be fine, so she shall. She’s lost a lot in a short time…it’s not easy. “

Aemond answers with silence whilst he brings your hand down to rest it on the bed without letting it actually escape from the security of his hold.

“My Prince,” a third visitor interjects in the silence and steals the attention of both Aemond and Alicent. “King Aegon’s carriage is approaching the city.”

At the mention, Aemond sits up straight, and that softness that his features were cast under slowly hardens just as he gives the guard a response. “Let me know when he’s reached the Red Keep.”

Alicent watches the guard take in Aemond’s demand without hesitance before he takes off, leaving her troubled by her conflict as she watches her son act too unbothered by what befell his brother.

He should be furious, but his rage is missing. He should be overcome with worry that his King and older brother was wounded in battle, but his worry is just placed on you and you alone.

——

*YOU*

She was there, the day you touched the clouds for the first time. She was there when you knew nothing was better than being a part of the never-ending sky. She was there because the first dragon you ever rode was Meleys.

“My mother was seven years old when she first took to the skies,” you remember pointing out with disappointment because you just turned seven and you could not mount your dragon yet. You were too young, your mother said.

You never realized then that she was just protecting you, after all the sickness that plagued you since you were a babe had barely been expelled from your body, she just wanted to make sure that nothing took you from her just as she was assured you would live a long life after all.

Nevertheless, that disappointment was short-lived, your grandmother had made sure of that.

“Actually I talked to your mother and guess what?” She began to tease you while you caressed Meleys’ snout much to your dragon's jealousy.

“What is it?” You’re too impatient to play.

A smile brightens her face before she gives you the answer. “You can fly with me. I know it’s not the same as flying your own dragon, but that time will come soon. As for now, we can mount Meleys together and we can take to the skies together as a name day present from me.”

You remember the joy that overcame you at that moment. Sure you still wanted to mount your own dragon, but her offer did satisfy that desire. It is like having a snack when you’re hungry, it does not fulfill you but it does keep you satisfied for a while. That’s how it was. You were satisfied at that moment, you were happy to be in the sky. It was the best moment of your life, you knew you would die happy if death had chosen to take you that day.

It was an exaggeration, of course, you realized that not long after, but you were only seven then and you were in the clouds for the first time. You could finally stop imagining how they felt because you could feel the moistness soak your fingertips as you tried to reach them while Meleys ascended higher. And when she was lost within the fluffy white clouds, the water soaked your face, but you did not care. You were carefree.

Nothing occupied your mind at that moment, nothing worried you. You felt as weightless as the clouds, and you beamed as bright as the sun in the sky. Your dreams hadn’t come true yet, you needed to take to the skies on the back of your own dragon, but the gift of flying for the first time was all thanks to her. She gave you that experience, she made you happy at that moment and never failed to make you happy as you got older. She never stopped protecting you…but…you did fail her.

You’re in King’s Landing for a reason, aren’t you? To report to your family the war plans, the comings and goings of the most valuable members in the Green faction, the decisions that are made around the council table, and any other plans that the Green council may have. You’re here to warn your family so they can get an advantage, so they can get closer to the throne, so they don’t run such a high risk of getting wounded or dying. But your grandmother died regardless.

You failed her, you failed them. You failed at the one thing you were supposed to do and now you lost someone else you love. And the crazy thing is that you don’t hate or blame Aemond for what happened, you blame yourself.

The weight of guilt lies on you because you couldn’t do the one thing you were supposed to do. Because no matter how hard you try you can’t be something valuable. That’s all you wanted, that’s why you left in the first place, to prove to your mother that you could be reliable, that you can be a fierce warrior, that you aren’t just a princess in a castle, and that you can be so much more. You wanted to be so much more, prove to her that you can be important, valuable, and fierce. That part of you is there, you wanted to show her that, but your grandmother died, and with her lies that fight. You feel like nothing now…

Daemon would be so mad…and you shouldn't care what he has to think about you, but how can you not after you failed so miserably? After your grandmother died and her dragon along with her?

You’re mad at yourself—no, you’re furious at yourself. If you had been better perhaps she would still be alive.

“Ready?” You tug yourself away from your train of thought and focus on Aerion before you grab a raw piece of meat from the bowl beside you, and place it down in front of his hatchling.

“Shrykos, <Dracarys>,” you command.

Shrykos tilts her little head before blinking and glancing at Aerion as if waiting for the okay. But your son can’t answer, he just watches Shrykos, and the hatchling watches him.

“Shrykos, <Dracarys>,” you repeat the command, making the hatchling now look at the piece of meat in front of her before she opens her mouth and lets out a small blast of fire.

Aerion watches the fire engulf the small piece of meat, the way the flames come out of his dragon's mouth to cook the meat and he can’t help but giggle and wave his fat little arms.

“<Good job, Shrykos,>” you praise the hatchling.

Aerion’s head turns to you and he coos, making a smile spread on your mournful face. “Shrykos,” you repeat to your son, making him study you before he coos after you as if trying to say his dragon's name too.

“Yes!” You clap. “She’s your dragon. Shrykos.”

Aerion coos the same way again and his dragon this time scurries over to him to sit in between his legs.

“Your mother would be delighted to see the way he interacts with his dragon,” Vanessa comments, making you smile wider.

“She would,” you muse and reach over to try and caress your son's head, but you must have reached out to him too quickly because suddenly Shrykos snaps her head towards you and shrieks out at you.

“<Whoa,>” you gasp in surprise yet also awe because she’s grown to be so protective in such a short time. Jacaerys was right, having Aerion bond with a dragon can protect him in ways some guards can’t.

“<It's okay. Calm down, girl.>” You try to ease her worry. “<Calm.>”

The dragon’s eyes don’t leave you for a solid minute, she watches you carefully until Aerion starts to cry.

“She meant no harm,” you assure him as you’re able to grab him now and bring him up with you as you stand to your given height, causing the hatchling to flap her delicate wings to perch herself on your shoulder and remain close to Aerion.

“It’s okay,” you continue to try to console him before you wipe away his tears and press a kiss on his cheek.

Shrykos watches the interaction and stretches her neck out to coo softly at Aerion as if trying to mimic you in calming him down.

“See? She’s just worried about you,” you tell Aerion, and he sniffles just seconds before his attention focuses on the pendant that you found around your neck after you woke up.

“Of course,” you mutter with an amused smile and watch him grab your pendant before he yanks it back towards him, pulling a gasp out of your mouth. “Gods.”

Aerion pulls the pendant to his mouth but you grab his hand and shake your head. Yet before you can pull the pendant away, the doors open and snatch your attention to your husband walking in and coming to an immediate halt when he sees you on your feet.

“Aemond,” you greet him with a faint smile.

Said man takes a step forward and his eye studies you hard as if making sure you’re really there, that you’re not some ghost set out to bid a last goodbye; while also trying to figure out if your smile directed at him is real or feigned. After all, you both know who brought down Meleys and your grandmother. It wasn’t Aegon you both knew that.

Yet no matter how hard or how long his eye remains fixated on you, that sweet smile doesn’t falter or fade, that smile on your face turns to a grin actually.

“What is it?” You break him from his stupor whilst also trying to tug your pendant away from Aerion’s mouth.

“You…” Aemond trails off and finally breaks away from the cast your mere presence put him under to close the distance that keeps you apart. “You should be abed. Not on your feet.”

You roll your eyes and approach Vanessa to hand Aerion to her, causing the little hatchling to disembark your shoulder and instead fly over to Vanessa’s.

“I’m fine,” you direct at Aemond as you turn to face him and find your body moving toward him. “I ate, I—”

“Vanessa,” Aemond snaps at your handmaiden with a glower that you get in between.

“Stop, don’t snap at her, talk to me,” you ease the worry you see weighing down on him.

Aemond’s eye flickers to you, but he also wants to scold Vanessa for not keeping you abed where you’ll be safe so he parts his lips to argue, but you finally meet him halfway and grab his arm, focusing all his attention back to you as if you were the center of the universe.

“Leave her be. I stood up, you know that. I am not an invalid, I just should've been more careful,” you add to your case. “But I ate. I’m feeling stronger already.”

His chest rises high as he takes in a deep frustrated breath before he lets it all go and is left with worry.

Before you can continue to address the matter at hand though, you turn your attention to Vanessa. “Take him to Helaena and Jaehaera, she has Morghul out too, he and Shrykos can bond.”

Vanessa nods and doesn’t linger behind, she leaves your quarters rather quickly, leaving you to face your husband and slide your hand down his arm to grab his hand.

“I’m fine,” you tell him one more. “The news just didn’t settle well, plus I was on an empty stomach, it all just overwhelmed me, but I’m fine…we’re fine,” you finish in a whisper and pull his hand toward you to press his palm against your belly.

“I’m sure the maester broke the news,” you continue with a proud smile that he misses because he watches your intertwined hands caressing the spot where your twins are growing.

“Twins,” he whispers with no worry clinging to his voice, it's soft and full of awe just like his eye.

“That’s why I haven’t been feeling hungry, and why I’ve been uncomfortable,” you address the matter. “They’re the reason.”

Aemond’s eye goes to you and now endearment also accompanies the already sweet feelings his eye expresses. You want to follow up with more, but your lips part, and a single breath escapes past your lips as you stand there feeling seen, appreciated, and loved under his gaze, but also feeling worry and guilt strike your heart as he looks at you.

You want to share it, you want to spill out what troubles you, but your words get caught in your throat when Aemond goes down on one knee and presses a gentle kiss on your belly before he rests his forehead against it.

Now at this very moment, the tension of war is forgotten completely. You exist only in your bliss.

“I wanted to tell you. I had half the mind to fly to Rook’s Rest the moment I found out to tell you, but I resisted my urge,” you share as you swing your arm around his head to caress it gently as he keeps his forehead pressed against your belly. “So can you just pretend I told you and that the maester didn’t ruin it?”

He chuckles softly and tilts his head up to meet your gaze as he remains on one knee. “He also told me about one of them being smaller than the other.” He brings up and the blissful paradise comes crumbling down as the guilt and the worry return.

“Yes, he told me too…” you trail off and gulp. “I-I don’t know what that means. He said he’ll monitor me, but…I’m scared.”

Aemond pushes himself up to tower over you again and grabs your face with a gentle touch as if he's afraid he’ll break you if he's too rough.

“My mother said it happens,” he now comes to your aid even if he doesn’t really know either. “They’ll get stronger and be equal after a while.”

You don’t find comfort in Alicent’s words, you need to hear them from your mother or read her own words to feel completely comforted.

“Ok,” your voice trembles. “Aemond,” you say and grab his hands. “I’m sorry.”

His eyebrows pinch together so you quickly respond to his confusion. “If being with child is an inconvenience right now. Everything is so chaotic, I’m sorry if I have become a burden—”

“Quiet,” he cuts you off and pulls you to him. “Shut up. You are the furthest thing from a burden or an inconvenience. Don’t apologize. Don’t torment yourself. We are blessed. That’s all. The risks you’ll take are just fewer now, but it seems you and Helaena have found more comfort in each other so you won’t be bored here.”

You blink and that worry falls, he helped resolve it. The guilt has diminished as well, but now you’re completely baffled by what he says.

You won’t just sit by the fire, you may be with child, but you will not just sit idly by while he risks his life, while your brother is out there, and while your family still needs you too. Just because you’re expecting doesn’t mean you have to sit and wait like a trapped princess in distress!

“No,” you spat and let his hands go. He sees the fire already engulfing your eyes so he pouts in annoyance whilst he lets your face go too.

“I will not—”

“I will not sit here and wait for you to come back,” you cut him off lividly. “I have a dragon, I have skill! Just because I’m with child—”

“That’s exactly why!” He argues back with quick-growing frustration. “Do you really expect me to send you to fight while you’re expecting?! Do you really think I can just watch you in the sky knowing your state?! It’s like you said…”

You shake your head and turn away as he continues.

“…it takes one arrow, a dragon's jaw, or fire…”

Your eyes shift at the last mention and you almost want to rebuttal with the truth of your…fire resistance, but that would take you down a rabbit hole that you don’t want to fall into at this very moment. You need to make a point and win.

“I would never forgive myself if something happened to you or the twins,” he tries to lure you into the trap using sweet words that usually work. “I would not feel comfortable sending you out to battle now.”

“That’s the difference between me and you,” you counter right away and twist around to face him. “I will wear armor! I had armor made for me, I can protect myself! My dragon will protect me! I will not sit here and do nothing while you are out there! While Sunfyre and Aegon are now indisposed!”

Aemond strides to you, and you stand your ground and challenge him with your enraged glare alone.

“I don’t care what you want or don’t want, you are not going to fight on dragonback or on the ground,” he counters back spitefully with his nose flared and his glare piercing right back at you. “If you try I will lock you in here with a hundred guards. Or I will take you to a tower where you can’t reach your dragon and you’ll be miles away.”

You part your lips but you can’t argue back, you’re caught in disbelief because you know he would be capable of doing that. You’re also too enraged that your words turn to ashes in your mouth by the stupid tears that come to your eyes. Thus instead you snap around to give him your back as you approach the hearth keeping the room warm, and watch the dancing flames with your arms crossed over your chest.

Aemond sighs deeply and leaves the room silent for a moment as he lets his frustration and impatience leave his body before he approaches you from behind.

At first, he breaks the silence with the soft utter of your name before he makes the mistake of brushing his fingertips on your hip, causing you to flinch away out of fear that it was someone else.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters in confusion to your sudden jolt.

You realize what you did and take a deep breath, realizing that your rage gets snuffed out like dying fire.

At first, you did not think you wanted to tell Aemond what Aegon did, but he’s here now, you look at him now; the confusion on his face. You look at your best friend, your husband, and the man that you love, and the words crawl up your throat like bile.

“Aemond,” you whimper and his confusion is lost and replaced by concern once again.

The sound of your lips parting fills your chambers, but a breath is all that comes out. You can’t be outward with it, you’re too afraid, too ashamed, so you close the distance and bring your lips to his ear.

He does look at you completely puzzled albeit that soon diminishes and slowly transforms into livid rage as you whisper the words in his ear. After that, you only pull back when you try to plead your case as if he didn’t believe you right away. He did, you just need him to know desperately.

“I told him to stop, I did, I promise, but he wouldn’t leave me alone. You have to believe me, Aemond.” You cry and he sighs, but that anger doesn’t die, he just musters the softness he can to gently cup your face before he slides his hand down to stroke your chin.

“I believe you,” he whispers so you can hear, and presses his forehead against yours.

“I wanted to fight back,” you keep trying to tell him. “I promise. I…I.”

“Shh, it’s okay,” he coos and brings his hand back up to cradle your cheek and use his thumb to stroke it. “You will be okay.”

He suddenly rips himself away from you and stomps away. You turn to not miss a step and notice him grab his sword while he gets away in a rage, thus you interfere because you know he’s letting his anger steer his thoughts. “Aemond stop!”

He doesn’t falter in his pace, he keeps storming away.

“Aemond!” You cry out. “Stop! Aemond! Please,” you beg and it’s that quiver in your voice that stops him.

“Do you really expect me to stay here knowing what—”

“Stay with me,” you cut him off to tell him what you need the most. “Please don’t go. Just stay.”

Aemond slowly turns around and when he faces you he sees how hard you’re pleading with your teary eyes, and how much you need just his company. Not his rage, not his revenge, just his comfort. His anger does want to get the best of him, but he beats it down with a deep breath and rests his blade against the wall to go to you and immediately wrap you in an embrace.

When you’re surrounded by nothing but the security of his warm arms you let yourself melt in his embrace because you know that nothing and no one can hurt you there.

“Let’s take a bath, hm?” He suggests as he kisses the top of your head. “Me and you.”

You nod softly and after depleting him of all the comfort you need, as the sun leaves the earth and lets the moon and the stars shine, you have a bath drawn where hundreds of candles enlighten the room with their soft glow. Where a soothing incense fills the room, and the warm flames from the hearth near your bath is a warm third body that keeps you company while you relax against Aemond.

“And that one is my favorite song, there’s a certain eeriness to it, but also an enchanting melody that I love,” you muse as you cross one leg over the other.

Aemond hums. “Those have always been my favorite for you to sing,” he muses.

You smile widely, and slither your fingers over his gently caressing your knee, welcoming a silence to the room that causes Aemond to grow uncomfortable yet bold enough to ask one question he’s been holding back out of fear that you will admit that you hate him now, or that you’re only here because of Aerion.

He doesn’t want to hear rejection or see you turn your back on him. He still needs you and he doesn’t want to face potential abandonment. But he also can’t sleep peacefully not knowing how you feel after what he did.

“Can I ask you something?” Aemond brings up quietly before saying your name as if there were more people in this chamber. But there isn’t, it’s just you and him.

“Mhm,” you let him continue and lay your head back on his shoulder to look at him from the corner of your eyes.

“You know it was not Sunfyre or Aegon who brought down Rhaenys or Meleys,” he hesitates to say but he does speak it out loud, and right away he feels how stiff you grow.

“I…know,” you breathe out and slowly sit up, losing contact with his fingers, and causing his fingers on your knee to slip off. “I could read it off you. You weren’t so discreet you know? Maybe you should be a little less smug if you’re going to let Aegon take the win.”

He hums and sits up to press his hand on your back before gently wrapping his arm around your neck to speak by your ear. “Do you…hate me?”

How could you hate him when it’s yourself that you hate for failing her?

There’s no point in thinking. No debate needs to be had, it’s an easy answer that comes from the depths of your wounded heart.

“No,” you whisper, leaving no time for him to doubt your response. “Should I?”

You turn to face him with sincerity bringing tears to your eyes. “I don’t hate you.”

Aemond’s arm slips off you and his eye falls on the water, but rather than trying hard to find his gaze, you actually find his reflection in the water and see a frown on his face; one brought by sorrow and torment over your response.

It’s like he almost wants you to hate him.

“It’s different this time,” you try to explain without bringing up the real reason behind your logic. “She wasn’t a messenger, she wasn’t trying to get away, it was a battle. Death is never fair for people like her, she did not deserve to die, but her death was different because I know that she wouldn’t want to go out any other way. She went out like a dragon warrior. I know she fought hard until her last breath.”

Aemond’s eye climbs up your body and finds your attentive gaze, letting you see his eye clouded with tears and that weight not ease off his body, so you drag yourself in between his legs to cup his cheek and offer him a faint assuring smile.

“I do not hate you,” you assure him and hold his gaze so he can read that you’re being sincere.

When he has the confirmation his heart needs he lets out a deep breath that makes that tension lift off his chest.

“Now,” you change the subject before you start crying, and slide your hand down to hold his knee and gently shake his leg. “You are going to be Prince Regent.”

His lips tug to a faint flustered smile and his eye once again falls on the water.

“Grin, my love, all your hard work will pay off,” you flatter him with a beaming grin. “All that time spent in books, learning from great minds, and working tirelessly will be rewarded.”

Do you really think he has the mind to rule?

Maybe if he hadn't gotten his eye taken out, or if he had seen his father care for him after being maimed then he would be the ruler the Greens need to win, that the kingdoms need, but he’s fueled with anger. His ego is inflated because he never got told that he’s so much more than he knows, so he had to rely on his large dragon for power.

It’s not to say you aren’t proud of him, because you are. He’s worked hard, he’s leaned into his books to gain knowledge. He has a military mind and good swordsman skills. He's the one keeping his family alive, and he has much more logic than Aegon, but a good ruler needs to be more than that.

A good ruler needs to listen to his people, they need to be just but also need to know when to put their foot down. They need to control their emotions even if sometimes they get tested by idiots or people being too daring. They need to know when to pull their blade out to fight, and when to use harsh words instead. Can he do that?

You can’t be sure. To be honest, you are not sure he can, but it’s why he can be the key to getting your mother on the throne.

Is he something important, something so much more that people don’t see? Yes, a hundred times yes. You don’t doubt that, you genuinely are happy that he’s being seen, that he gets to finally prove himself because you know that there’s so much more to him that people don’t see, that they ignore because he’s a second son, and he’s more quiet, like a shadow.

He’s not scary or just intimidating like he lets people believe, he’s smart, he's gentle, he’s so much more than people see and you have always known that. You have always supported that. And that’s what you’re praising, because after all this waiting he’s no longer in the shadows. A light is shining on him. He deserves it.

“Maybe,” Aemond mutters with his smile faltering. “There’s also my mother. She’s Queen Dowager.”

You sit back on your legs and your confusion is clear. “But,” you genuinely argue. “Your mother ruled in a time of peace, and she has no military mind. They couldn’t really consider her. It’s you they’ll pick.”

Aemond meets your gaze and sighs deeply. “I cannot be sure until the morrow.”

You hum and avert your gaze to think if the men around the table will really pick Alicent over the next heir in Aegon's line of succession. It would be pretty stupid to pick Alicent when they’re working hard to remove your mother.

“Well, I'm sure they’ll pick you,” you express your genuine opinion. “They’ll be stupid not to. And you have an heir, maybe more on the way. Perfect choice I’ll say.”

His lips tug up to a soft smile, and your more negative opinions falter at the sight of that smile alone.

“And you,” he piques your interest whilst he leans over to capture your chin in between his thumb and his pointer finger. “You’ll be Princess Regent.”

You gulp nervously and shake your head. “Helaena is alive and healthy, I couldn’t be Princess Regent.” You contradict him, but he continues to press his side.

“My sister is sweet and good, but,” he sighs. “We all know she has no mind to be Queen, she’d rather be outside with her bugs than be anywhere near court, but you…you’re smart, fierce, attentive, and you have the mind to be a good Queen. The people love you and you care for them for some reason. You’ll be good.”

And there it is, your foundations shake at the sound of those sweet words that work like bait like magic to enchant you.

He would consider you, and that makes you consider a change of thought…

Like getting drunk, slowly your mind and your body start to lose yourself to its rich power.

“You think so?” You mumble softly with your eyes full of desperation to be told you can be so much more.

“I know it. You and I would be a powerhouse everyone would respect,” he doesn’t take back his opinion and it’s a dangerous thing. He needs to stop.

Stop.

Stop…

But you can’t help but smile like an idiot as your heart gets fed more of that addicting honey it can never get enough of. It’s all you ever wanted deep down. it’s a dream you even shared with Cregan and Arra…

But…no!

No! No…

——

*THE NEXT MORNING*

“They will name you regent,” you try to reassure him as you fix the collar of his leather vest. “I know it. So head up high and deep breath.”

He holds your gaze as he lets out a deep breath, making you giggle as you slide your hands down to pat his chest.

“I love you,” you don’t fret to send him off with sweet words that make his heart swoon.

“I love you too,” he doesn’t hesitate to return before he leans in and presses a kiss on your lips.

Before he can back away you steal one more kiss from his thin lips, causing him to leave with a faint smile.

After a few minutes of lingering in the spot where he left you, you scurry out the secret door and trudge through the secret tunnels to reach the shadows of the Small council room and be part of the big debate that will change the Green fraction one way or the other.

“The armor was Valyrian steel,” Maester Orwyle shares with the council. “But his Grace suffered grievous burns over much of his body. He has many broken bones. I fear there are more injuries within, injuries we cannot see.”

He can die for all you care.

“We are grateful for your works, Grand Maester,” Alicent interjects after you catch her take in a deep breath. “Has he woken?”

“No,” the maester doesn’t try to be assuring, he’s bold so no one gets any hope he might survive. “I must admit, I’m not sure he will ever wake. I have piled my crafts to their fullest extents. Our king's fate lies with the gods now.”

And may the gods be ever so merciful to give him death.

“A king cannot rule in his sleep,” you hear Alicent say after a few seconds of silence. “The realm will have noticed his absence. Let them hear of his great deeds at Rook’s Rest. But now we must name a regent to take his place until he recovers…or does not.”

You lean your ear closer to the gaps on the wall and wait to see if Aemond is right.

“A wise strategy, Your Grace,” you recognize Lord Larys’ pestering voice. “A regency will assure the people of the stability of the crown.”

A silence follows and you wonder why it’s so awkward in there when the choice is plain to see.

“Did you have a candidate in mind, Your Grace?” Ser Tyland asks.

“I myself served in this role for my husband, I am well-prepared to do it again,” she proves Aemond right, and if you would have bet you would have lost.

“You played your part admirably in a time of peace, Your Grace,” Lord Jasper weighs in. “But circumstances have changed.”

“And here I had forgotten,” you catch the sarcasm in Alicent’s voice which does amuse you.

“The King does not lack for heirs,” Lord Jasper continues to argue against Alicent. “The obvious choice is his immediate successor, Prince Aemond, who has his own heir in his son, strengthening the line of succession.”

“Agreed,” Ser Tyland comments, making your heart skip a beat for Aemond.

“Aemond is young,” Alicent immediately rebuttals, causing your eyebrows to furrow because you all know there’s been younger Kings. “And his lack of restraint has already cost us dearly.”

A third silence follows and you suspect it’s because she wants people to agree with her, but it doesn’t seem like anyone does. Which is awkward, you can feel that tension from where you are.

“It is an experience that offers the surest path to security,” you hear the maester give his opinion. “Queen Alicent ably shouldered the duties of the realm when her husband's health failed him.”

Once again in a time of peace, it doesn’t seem like she has a military mind. And someone could argue that your mother doesn’t either, but you know her, she’s smart and leans on her books. She doesn’t need her father like Alicent needed hers.

“Experience is valuable, yes,” Lord Jasper interjects. “But the Dowager Queen is a woman.”

You almost have to laugh but you hold it in. It’s so poetic really.

“I’m no stranger to rule or to sitting at this council,” Alicent argues. “Aemond is a fearsome dragonrider. His skill is best employed in the field, but my experience is needed here, at this table—”

“No offense was meant, Your Grace,” Ser Tyland cuts her off as she’s growing frustrated. “But at a time when we must show strength.”

“Lord Larys,” she tries to garner the man’s support.

“I agree, Your Grace, it must be Prince Aemond,” he contradicts her. “What would it say if, in response to Rhaenyra’s crowning, we raised up a woman of our own?”

Oh sweet, sweet karma.

“But, um…the Hand speaks for the King’s voice, Ser Criston what say you?”

You start to fiddle with your hands as a smirk tugs on your face.

“Aemond is the next in line,” he adds salt to the injury. “It must be him.”

You can’t help it, you grin.

“It’s agreed then,” Aemond finally breaks his silence before you hear the sound of him rising from his chair and his heels clicking around the table.

And just like that he is now regent, Alicent has now been treated the way she treated your mother. The Green fraction has changed to a more Ironfist rule. You can be certain of that.

“What is our standing in the Riverlands?” Aemond jumps right into business, proving already to possess a better mind than Aegon ever did.

“Uh, the banners of House Tully are in disarray, Your Grace,” Ser Tyland is the one who gives Aemond the answer he sought, and the first one to call him your Grace, which brings a chill down your spine. “Prince Daemon has little hope of fielding an army or any, for now.”

Why do they doubt Daemon so much? Is it just that they hope that their negativity will help him fail?

You don’t like him, and you know he has the power to gain that army, you know he will.

“We would do well to send word to young Oscar Tully,” Lord Larys follows up with his comment. “It’s only a matter of time before he inherits his grandsire’s mantle.”

“Tell me, Lord Strong, how I can trust the counsel of a man who leaves the jewel of the Riverlands to be plucked by our enemy?”

You wait for the response from the Lord, but he gives none, and you couldn’t be more smug that he didn’t and that he’s most likely intimidated by Aemond.

“Your brother's host can meet Daemon,” Aemond changes the subject to now speak to Ser Tyland. “He should quicken its pace and check the Rivermen while their banners are in disarray.”

No matter what you can’t help but be proud of Aemond. Command suits him.

“I shall send Lord Jason encouragement,” Ser Tyland assures Aemond.

“What else?” Aemond probes.

“We might turn our attention to the smallfolk here in King’s Landing,” Maester Orweyle says. “They have grown weary of the Sea Snake’s blockade.”

“So have we all,” Aemond says nonchalantly.

“Many are fleeing the city,” the maester continues. “Spreading word of their fear and unrest.”

“Mm, then let the gates be closed,” Aemond picks the wrong choice which proves you right too. “No one is to leave or enter, save with our consent. Merchants, so forth.”

And that’s how you get the smallfolk to hate you. He’s supposed to assure them, feed them, and give them something to hope for, not fear and disdain. Hopefully, your mother can work that in her favor.

“Ser Criston,” Aemond calls out. “I need you to pick three of your best and most trusted men. I shall have two guarding my son and heir, and a second guard protecting my wife. She’s with child, I don’t wish to leave her vulnerable.”

Your breath catches and your heart skips a beat.

It is going to be harder to just be around the Red Keep, but you are happy he didn’t forget about you or Aerion.

“Go to your tasks,” Aemond then abruptly ends the meeting. “We shall meet again at first light. Oh, and someone cut down the fucking ratcatchers.”

Finally! You thought it was never going to be taken down, it’s such a nasty display.

Nevertheless, now to report to your mother. And since Aemond did mention he was going to be busy after the Small council meeting, you have time to take the message to Astraea so she can go take it right away. Plus there’s another matter you need to entrust your mother about because she's the only one you trust to give you comfort.

Which is why in the second letter you write, you make sure to direct to your mother.

“Dear Rhaenyra,

As you know I am with child. The maester assured me of that not long ago, but he also told me something else. He said that one twin is smaller than the other, and honestly, that frightens me. Alicent said it could be fixed in time, but I don’t trust her, and I don’t know what it really means. I just want to know if they’ll be okay. I need them to be okay.”

You don’t sign your name, but there’s no one else who would write to her so there’s no need to really sign your name. Hopefully, this time they write back though, or send anything in return so you’re not left worried. You made sure to point that out so hopefully they listen.

And! Hopefully, Jacaerys’ nosy ass doesn’t read your personal letter to your mother!

He would dare, he would be so protective about it, like, “come home now!” It’s a surprise he didn’t fly after you when he found out you left! Sure you feel bad for leaving him behind, but he has Baela, he won’t be alone. He’ll just be worried about you, annoying too because he wants to hear any news from you, and he will also probably be attentive to any sighting of Astraea in hopes to hear any news from you, so maybe you should write a warning to keep him out.

You should, but you don’t, just like you don’t take the secret tunnels to the cove where Astraea is resting. You’re simply going to the cove behind the castle to visit your dragon, that's all! If there’s eyes on you they won’t find you suspicious, you’re not flaunting the letters; you have them hidden, and you have your sworn protector trailing behind you. There’s no need for alarm or whispers to be spread or given to Aemond, it’s a simple visit…

You just need to secure something on her horn.

Yet as you’re trying to secure the letters, she suddenly slips her head away and starts to growl at your sworn protector in the shadows.

“<Astraea, calm girl,” you assure her. “He’s a friend. He’s my sworn protector. It’s alright.>”

Astraea doesn’t listen; she pushes herself closer to the man, making sure to block your path with her large neck.

“<Astraea,>” you warn her. “<Stop.>”

Her growling gets louder and you see her opening her jaw, pushing Ser Jason against the wall with panicked breaths.

“It’s alright Ser,” you try to assure him. “She won’t harm you. She’s just wary, but <he’s a friend>,” you address the last comment to Astraea, but she has a mind of her own. She corners the man and you watch her nostrils flare as she sniffs him.

“Astraea,” you call out and try to inch closer, but the moment she hears your feet shift she moves her neck against you and starts to snarl until she then suddenly grows quiet, and her neck starts to move away from you, letting you see her close her mouth, and blink as her pupils dilate while she looks at the panicked man before her.

Instead of calling her to back away, you watch with growing curiosity as she then begins to coo at him.

Ser Jason notices the hostility slip away so between pants and with wide eyes he slowly raises his hand and carefully reaches out for her scaled nostril.

You expect your dragon to move, but she remains where she is and lets the man pet her, pulling a surprised breath out of you.

“You,” you huff with relief that she didn’t kill him. “Must be special.”

Ser Jason’s blue eyes snap to you and his eyes almost pop out of his skull before he shakes his head. “No—I mean I am a—”

“She likes you,” you cut off his nervous rambling with a sweet smile. “Funny way of showing it, but she does. She let you pet her. There’s only a few people who aren’t of Valyrian descent that she lets pet her.”

Ser Jason’s eyes slowly drift away as his hand slips off Astraea, letting her back away and turn her head towards you to focus on you.

“<You naughty girl,>” you taunt her and watch her lips spread up as if she’s responding to your comment and smile with a smirk. “Sorry,” you direct at Ser Jason. “For the fright.”

The knight lets out a deep breath to relieve himself of that fear that he was just hit with, and with a breathless laugh, retorts, “I can finally say I have touched a dragon. It’s fine.”

You hum softly in return and once and for all attach the letters to your dragon's horn before you throw your arms around her in an attempt to embrace her. But she’s too big now, your arms don’t go around her anymore, they're just spread out against her in an attempt.

“<You know what you must do, my girl. Remember just my mother, Jace, Baela, or my grandfather can grab the letters. No one else. Don’t delay and be careful.>”

Lady Arra Norrey always poked fun at you for talking to your dragon like you talk to a person, but dragons understand more than commoners know, and Astraea understands you at a deep level.

“<Now go.>” You send her off and don’t move away, you approach the shore to watch her ascend the skies.

It’s once she’s high in the clouds that you return inside, and this time rather than having a clear path, you’re interrupted just at the last courtyard before you can reach the doors. Thankfully it’s on your way back to your quarters though and not the other way around.

“Princess,” Ser Gwayne Hightower brings you to a stop, making you take a deep and annoyed breath before you turn to face him with a plastered smile.

“Ser,” you greet and watch him bow his head at you before he finishes approaching you to be closer. “You returned.”

That’s all, you’re not glad he did, you’re not surprised either, he just returned, it’s that simple.

“Thanks to your favor,” he retorts smugly, making you scoff.

“Me or a few other pretty ladies?” You remark, making him flash you a charming grin before he chuckles and nods.

“Oh yes many did give me their favors,” he doesn’t remain modest, he’s blunt and that makes an amused smile twitch on your lips unwillingly. “But only one worked in my favor. The only one close to the gods, yours, my Princess.”

You hold his gaze as you nod in comprehension before you hide your flattered smile by looking at the ground.

“I heard you are quite a spectacular singer,” he continues trying to work his charm on you. “The Siren of Driftmark. I have wanted to hear if it’s true that your voice is as enchanting as they say.”

You draw in a deep breath and clasp your hands together before you roll your eyes up to look at him with a mischievous smirk that he starts to take in his favor. Yet…

“Was it your idea to parade around the head of my grandmother's dragon throughout the city?” You bring a cold end to his flattery and make that ever-so-charming smile fall.

“No,” he clears his throat and shifts back, making your own smirk deepen. “It was Ser Criston Cole’s.”

“Our good Lord Hand,” you both say in sync and with the same level of sarcasm, bringing a silence where you both share a teasing smile as if you were friends sharing gossip.

“He may have a good military mind,” he shares with you after a small genuine smile. “But may the gods help him with political matters.”

You hum and nod. “It seems the realm was in better hands with your father as hand and Ser Criston as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.”

“I’ll say.” He doesn’t shy away from agreeing. “Uh, I heard of your accident, I do hope you are okay.” He changes the subject smoothly, causing you to blink in surprise and find yourself answering without disdain.

“Quite, being with child just takes a toll. Thank you, Ser.”

He bows his head and just as he parts his lips to add more, a third voice cuts in. “Uncle.”

You both look at the incomer and notice Aemond with his eye locked on his uncle.

“Nephew,” Ser Gwayne greets Aemond with a smile, unlike Aemond who seems bothered—“I was just talking to the Princess. You have quite the pretty pearl here.”

You swallow back nervously and watch Aemond’s chest rise whilst the corner of his lips twitch to a forced smile.

“And you are expecting!” Ser Gwayne brings up and leans toward Aemond to pat his arm. “Congratulations, nephew.”

Aemond offers him a stiff nod of his head so you cut in. “Thank you, Ser. He is the most delighted.”

Aemond hums and remains cold and bothered so you cut this conversation short before you’re swallowed by the awkwardness that begins to build. “I hope we get to see more of you before you’re off again, maybe you can meet our son, Aerion.”

“Ah, yes I would be delighted, my sister speaks fondly of her grandchildren. I will have to see them for myself,” Ser Gwayne says in return, letting you offer him the first genuine smile before you turn and head inside with Aemond who keeps his jaw clenched and his eye narrowed.

“What…were you talking about?” Aemond tries to hide how jealous he is, but it's a futile attempt considering it’s written all over his face; in his flared nostrils, in the darkness in his eye that is brought up by annoyance and anger, and in his raised chest in attempts to try and insert his dominance over you.

Any other time you would find it amusing, it's his uncle and he can’t help but be jealous, but right now you’re bothered by something else entirely that you won’t let go unheard of.

“<The nasty parade that took place while I was abed,>” you take your opportunity to bring up without actually deflecting because it’s true, the topic was brought up.

But of course, he doesn’t answer, do you let it go though? No, you don't back off even if you see him wanting to avoid the topic, you press the matter with growing frustration.

“<When do people stop fearing gods, Aemond?>” You ask rhetorically. “<When they see gods bleed. They saw that dragon's head being paraded around the city and saw that they’re just like every other animal.>”

“<They're not,” Aemond scoffs back in High Valyrian, just like you. “<They can test it if they like, let’s see what fate awaits from them then.>”

You share a dry chuckle and only counter when you’re past the doors and inside the Red Keep. “<Don't underestimate the power of the people, Aemond. They can find power in rage if you give them the right spark. And that display…>” you trail off but don’t ease off him, you don’t use your anger either, you let it go with a deep exhale and instead, try to work this in your favor with the simple power of your enchanting voice.

“<No qualified Hand would have allowed that to happen, or even given it any thought. Dragons are the power of our house, they are sacred creatures. You know that. He doesn’t understand; he did something stupidly foolish that could cost us a lot.>”

Aemond finally looks over at you as if captured by your words, or as if he agrees too.

“<He’s our Lord Commander of the Kingsguard,>” he brings up, but that doesn’t work in anyone's defense. You use that.

“Exactly.”

Aemond studies you to try and get in your mind and read your running thoughts, finding that the words you just sang are haunting his mind instead, like a melody one can’t forget.

“I’m not saying he’s not a qualified man,” you add softly as you climb up flights of stairs to head to your room. “He may not be my favorite, he may have quite a reputation, but he still has a good mind for battle. That I can say. Maybe his skills will be best displayed trying to take Harrenhal, hm? The longer that gets left alone, the more time Daemon has to gain power there.”

“I thought you didn’t like him,” Aemond brings up and glances ahead.

“No,” you scoff. “I don’t, but,” you sigh. “He’s smart. He has experience. I can admit that. We have to admit that to ourselves.”

Aemond hums and you look at him as he looks ahead. And after knowing you said all you needed to say on the matter without being pushy or suspicious, you finally shift over to a matter that brings a bright grin to your face.

“So?! Tell me, are you Regent?”

Aemond’s eye falls and a soft smile slowly starts to grow on his face before he lifts his head and meets your gaze, showing off that smile that gives you your answer and makes you squeal before you bring the both of you to a stop atop the stairs when you throw your arms around him.

“I told you! Congratulations, my love,” you praise him genuinely since you know how much he wants to prove himself. “I knew you’d get it.”

He can’t help it, he wants to grow smug, but he grows flustered instead and only makes that smile grow warm.

“You deserve it,” you whisper so only he can hear.

Aemond wraps his arms around you and presses a kiss on the top of your head, keeping his lips and nose pressed against you as he takes in the praise that you alone have given him.

“Thank you,” he mutters against you.

You hum and pull your head back to meet his eye. “Really, I’m proud of you,” you whisper with no sign of deceit, your words come from the bottom of your heart because now people can see what you see, what you have always seen; that he’s so much more, that he is something.

“I…” he trails off and his eye turns glossy, while a breath catches in his throat and a fondness and awe paints his face. “I love you.”

You bring one hand up to caress his cheek, making him lean towards your touch right away as if instinct to seek your warmth and comfort.

“I love you too,” you redirect softly and press a gentle kiss against his lips.

“You are my Princess Regent,” he whispers against your lips, making you scoff and gently smack his chest before you pull away from his grasp to continue to your shared quarters.

Aemond of course doesn’t hesitate to follow at your side and presses what he said. “I can make you that if you want. You and me.”

You shake your head. “It can’t happen. Helaena is Queen, and,” you hesitate and he knows that so he uses it in his favor.

“You don’t want it?”

You want to say no, but you part your lips and you can’t bring yourself to counter or deny. Instead, once again there’s something dark and hungry that plagues you…

And it doesn’t let you answer

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” you retort and flash him a feigned smile. He wants to counter, but you leave him no room to answer because you pick up your pace to finally get off the stairs.

Once you reach your quarters you find Vanessa with Aerion and Shrykos. You see Aerion happy with his little hatchling, you see him get even happier when he sees his father and you can’t help it, all your mind focuses on is spending time with your family. You watch as Aemond interacts with Aerion and his little hatchling. You see how much Aerion loves spending time with Aemond and vice versa. You cherish the moment, you live in it because of what lurks outside your safety walls.

Even when you see Astraea return to the city, you don’t let your attention drift away. This stolen moment is where you find joy, where you find awe as you see how easy Aerion falls asleep when he’s laying on Aemond’s chest as the three of you just spend time on the bed with Aemond’s head on your lap, your fingers messaging his temple, and your eyes interlocked as if sharing hundreds of words in the silence.

Soon there will hopefully be more of you, you and Aemond will be outnumbered, but nothing will ever lessen the love you give your son. You may love each other selfishly, and Aemond may put you over everything, but that will never impact how much you love your children because he doesn’t want them to feel lonely like the way he felt when you were gone from his life and no longer there to be the hopeful light in the darkness. He knows that for certain, just like you know for certain that you would not mind living in this peaceful moment forever.

Yet the peace gets interrupted by Ser Criston requiring Aemond’s attention to take a look at the men he chose to protect you and your son. And since the moment was already interrupted you find your chance to go to Astraea and check for any notes.

And this time there is a note from your mother that you read in the safety of your room since Aemond will be gone for a while.

“I hope you find yourself well. I thank you for your sacrifices, it must not be easy having to sneak about the Red Keep, so thank you, my Sweet. Astraea will grow impatient, and someone will suspect if she’s gone too long so I will get to the point. With the help of the Mysaria, I have sent Elinda to King’s Landing to help with a secret plan to gain the favor of the smallfolk. By the time you get this, she should be at the west city gates by nightfall, she will stay with a friend. I hope you can send someone you trust to see her in the city, she will share what we have planned—”

You pull your eyes off the paper and glance over at Vanessa as she’s the only one you can trust to do what your mother wants of you.

“—As to you. I would really like it if you came home now, I would feel more comfortable with you being taken care of by a maester I can trust. Please come home, leave Vanessa there to help Elinda, and relay any plans the greens have, just come home.

Love, your mother.”

Come home?

It's true that you would feel more comfortable there regarding your twins, but when you go home what will you do? Just sit around the table and listen? Sit and do nothing while a war rages around you?

You already failed her, failed them all once, you need to prove yourself. That’s why you’re here because you wanted to prove to your mother that you can be useful, that you can be something. You can do that here, not there trapped like a bird.

You can’t go home. No matter how much she wants you back, no matter how much you do ache to return, you can’t leave yet. Thus you stride towards the hearth and throw the letter in the fire so it’s not discovered.

Once the paper and all the words are ash you lift your nose in the air and call out to your handmaiden. “Vanessa could you let Ser Jason in, I need to speak to the both of you.”

Vanessa doesn’t wait or question you, she beckons your sworn protector, and once he’s inside and they both stand a few feet behind you, you slowly turn to face them with confidence so they feel it too.

“I need you, Vanessa to go into the city,” you share without dragging it out just in case Aemond does come soon. “Elinda is on her way to the city and I need you to help her inside. I need you to help her for me. Be my ears, my voice with what she needs.”

Vanessa’s dark eyes slowly drift down as many thoughts cross her mind. Many doubts you’re sure. The city is dangerous nowadays, and there’s no guarantee that her whereabouts won’t be caught, but you need her to run the risk because you can’t. She has a higher chance of being in the city undetected, you not so much.

“I know I'm asking a lot, but you are the only one I trust with this,” you try to make her feel comfortable. “My mother does too, if you don’t feel comfortable helping, just let Elinda in the city and walk her to where she’ll stay, okay?”

Vanessa lets out a deep breath and after a few seconds her eyes slowly scale up and she finds you, letting you see the sense of determination painting her pretty face. “I will do it, I’ll help you, the Queen, and Elinda. With whatever they need.” She assures you with a nod and a gentle smile, making you flash her a grin before you now address your sworn protector.

“As for you Ser, I need you to accompany Vanessa, protect her like you do me while she’s out in the city. She is my dearest friend and I don’t want anything to happen to her.”

Ser Jason glances at the woman beside him and swallows thickly before he looks back at you and doesn’t hesitate, he nods in agreement.

“I will protect her as I do you, my Princess,” he says with a sense of confidence that strikes him too. “I am also friends with the Gold Cloaks, I can convince them to let your friend in.”

You sigh with relief and nod in comprehension. “Good, I’m glad. Now go before Aemond gets here. And ser, don’t walk so tense, pretend you’re…taking the lady out to the city, hm?” You suggest, making his cheeks grow furiously red. “I’m being serious.”

Vanessa glances at the timid man and snickers before she approaches you and looks at you with concern and sorrow. “And you? Will you light the pyre alone?”

Your eyes flicker down, but you quickly blink and look back at her with a faint assuring smile so she doesn’t have to worry. “I’m no stranger to grieving alone. I will be fine, I know how to build a pyre.”

“It is raining,” Vanessa argues in an attempt to have you wait for her to light your grandmother's funeral pyre. “Maybe tomorrow—”

“I will be fine, I already know which courtyard to use. Go, I will be fine.” You interrupt her so she can stop worrying. “I’ll see you on the morrow hm?”

She hesitates now for the first time, and as if she was a caring older sister she pats your cheek and offers you a sweet smile.

Before she can go you grab ahold of her hand and welcome her comfort for a lingering moment before you let her go.

Once you’re alone, and Aerion’s wetnurse arrives to take care of him, you put on a beautiful blue velvet cloak and direct yourself to the courtyard you told Vanessa about; one close to the throne room, one with a spiral roof that welcomes the thick drops of rain through the gaps that usually welcome the sunlight on a clear day, or the moonlight on a cloudless night, but not today.

Today the rain is like music against the stone ground, the rain is a mess and puddles around your feet, soaking the ends of your gown and cloak. Lighting and thunder accompany the sheets of rain today, which would add an ominous feeling in the darkness of the night, but the bright fire that lights the shitty pyre you built, burns away the menacing presence of the lightning and thunder.

Now one would wonder how a pyre is still lit with how hard the rain hits the earth, but the center of the courtyard offers a roof that protects the fire and keeps most of you dry. That’s where you stand, that’s where the fire eats away at the wood in peace, and where it’s allowed to glow ragefully; basking the entire courtyard in its red and orange hue as if it was like a wildfire with the power of a thousand suns, and engulfing you with its illuminating hue that makes the grief and sorrow on your face look angelic.

Or that’s what poets would write, what bypassers would think as they watched how the raging light kisses your face and makes those tears on your cheeks glimmer like shining crystals, but you feel anything but divine, you’re grieving alone again. Just like how you grieved your father six years ago.

You shouldn’t be a stranger to grieving alone, but here you are again, away from your cousins, brother, mother, and grandfather who loved your grandmother and Meleys. You’re alone again in front of a funeral pyre bidding a last goodbye to someone you love, and no one is here to hold your hand or embrace your shaking shoulders. You’re alone grieving a grandmother you failed.

Maybe if you had written that letter faster, or sent that warning before, then she would still be alive. If you could’ve done what you were sent to do right she would be victorious or perhaps left with her life, but you failed her, you failed your Queen; your mother, and those who loved your grandmother. You amounted to nothing, but maybe that’s what you’ve been all along?

A simple girl with a luxurious title who dreamt too big and wanted too much. A selfish girl who thought she could get the world, but can’t get a scrap because no matter how hard you try you can’t reach those stars to amount to anything. You can’t feed the hunger inside you. You can’t be anything…

But…

As you stand there in the silence of solace, as you hear the fire crackle, the rain patter, and the thunderclap in the sky, there’s something that you feel calling you, something in the fire.

Something that has always called out to you since you could remember, but something that you have ignored, that you want to ignore now as you mourn your grandmother.

Yet the hot flames dry your tears and its heat embraces you tighter, but like every other time, its embrace, its kiss, and its touch is not uncomfortable like it is to everyone else. It’s welcoming, it’s nice like a friend…that’s been with you since you can recall.

No matter how hard you try, its whispers grow louder, but never desperate, it’s calling is charming, and like many other times, it entrances you.

The longer you stare at its beauty, the more it promises, swears that it’s empowering but only if you embrace it back.

You try to look away regardless of what calls for you, but how can you turn your back on what’s feeding your starving soul?

Fire kills the girl and awakens the dragon.

You can’t look away. You can’t ignore it. Not anymore.

Thus you mindlessly shrug your cloak off and let it drown in the puddle around your feet. You kick your shoes off because you are mindful of how much you love your shoes, and get closer, but it almost feels like you aren't the one controlling your body, it’s being controlled by the power of the trance. It moves you and you let it.

You raise your hand from your side and reach for the flames as if reaching out for an inviting hand.

You don’t show hesitation or fear, a malicious smirk tugs on your lips and the confidence, pride, and malice that washes over you gleams in your eyes like the illuminating fire because there’s never been anything to fear about the fire. It's why you don’t think of pulling away, you embrace the fire like securing your grip on an inviting hand.

Yet just as you raise your foot to step inside the calling flames, a hand suddenly grabs a hold of your wrist and you’re yanked back harshly under the rain.

When you look at the intruder you meet the gaze of your husband, your Aemond looking at you with horror. Yet that emotion slowly fades away as he lifts your hand and sees that you’re unharmed.

Now instead of fearing that you were going to jump in the fire to hurt yourself, he’s left flabbergasted and confused. You could explain it to him with words, but at that moment you can’t muster a single syllable, so instead you pull away and show him.

Aemond wants to stop you again. It’s an instinct, but when you put your hand in the fire and don’t wince, or make a sound of pain, as he sees that the fire doesn’t hurt a single perimeter of your flesh he’s struck with awe that leaves him paralyzed where he stands. It’s not horror or disgust. You walk under the rain again and study him closely to make sure, to know if you should be ashamed, but no matter how much you search his face or dig your gaze in his, there’s nothing you see but awe, admiration, a bit of confusion, and more adoration for you.

He sees you with the opposite of what you feared, with love and fascination, and you feel seen.

There in the darkness you are cast in is your light and you feel…like…you can be something important under his eye, with him because he sees you.

Sure you could have shown your mother, your brother, or even Cregan that the fire doesn’t hurt you. It’s your friend, you're immune to its violence and that’s your gift, but you didn’t share that with them and they didn’t see, but Aemond does. He sees you now, he looks at you like you are something more than you thought you could be and you’re relieved

You have yet to fully be embraced by the flames, but at last, someone knows and someone loves you for it. Someone sees your value and your power. Then again in some ways he always has, now he just sees all of you.

“Come with me,” he whispers, and thunder cuts in from the distant sky.

He offers you his hand and you don’t hesitate, you place your hand over his, and secure his grasp. Before you leave though you slip your shoes back on and pick up your cloak drenched with water.

At first, you expect to be taken well anywhere else but the throne room. Yet much to your surprise, you’re now embraced by the darkness of the glorious hall with only the night's hue casting in a natural light, and the occasional shots of bright lightning flashing an ominous light.

“They would love you,” his voice oozes out like honey. “I know that. Even now they love you, but imagine then, hm?” His words travel in your ear and they make a chill crawl down your spine.

“We—even before we married, when we were just kids…” he says and walks around you, making sure to bring his hand up to press his palm down on the back of your neck, making the hairs on the back of your neck rise, and those goosebumps to spread as he brings his lips close to your ear and lets his breath unfurl over your skin.

“…we were a lot more than my sister and Aegon. We valued our traditions, we value them even now. We are what all Targaryens rulers should be because we always wanted it.”

…he…

“Can’t you see it? Can’t you see us?” He whispers against your flesh, tempting you to tilt your head to try and meet his lips.

“Be Regent with me,” he offers again, but this time in a soft and almost pleading voice that makes your body move so you can be face to face and interlock gazes.

“I hear your protests,” he adds and glances at your lips only inches away from his. “But Helaena has never wanted what she has, you have…”

He…

“You and I will be the best of them,” he continues and continues to grow this realization. That’s what it is, a realization in the darkness of the room.

No matter how much you have tried to deny it, how hard you have pushed it down and brushed it off, it’s always been there. And it was never a darkness, and that hunger for more was never a plague. That’s a lie.

There was this desire, this need always within you. He knows that he sees that like no one else has. And just like the fascination he had for you when he saw you unhurt by the fire, now you return that fascination for him and his offer.

“You and me,” you whisper and those silent words travel over the sound of thunder because you can feel the warmth of his lips basically embrace yours.

And instead of answering with words, a malicious smirk tugs on his lips, and his awe only heightens for you, drawing him to smash his lips over yours just as you lean in at the same time, and bringing you both to forget where you are.

The rain patters harshly against the windows, against the roof, the thunder booms, and the lightning strikes the earth and flashes its bright light, but neither of you give it a second thought or any thought at all. It’s just you and him, basking in the passion brought by your selfish desires come to life. Because that's what it is, selfish on your part. It’s not selfless, you did not accept his offer for her, you accepted because you wanted to.

But Daemon pushed you here, didn’t he?

And Aemond sees you, he sees something in you. You can be something with him. That’s all you want, that’s all you have wanted.

——

*SOMETIME LATER*

“He dares to summon me!” Aemond barks with rage after reading a demand from Lord Jason Lannister. “With haste?”

He throws the crumbled letter to the side and leans over the table to glare at the brother sitting at your right side.

“Are the Lannisters so diminished that they cannot march from the Tooth to Harrenhal without an escort?”

You clasp your hands over the table and slowly drift your gaze to the blond man avoiding Aemond’s seething glare.

“There is a large dragon in the Riverlands, Your Grace,” Ser Tyland defends his brother's choice, which makes sense, but also sounds a bit like an excuse. A pretty pathetic excuse. “My brother's army is strong, but it does seem—”

“I am the Prince Regent,” Aemond reminds the man. “Not a dog to be called to heel. Tell your brother that if he does not deliver his host to Harrenhal, with ‘haste’,” he mocks. “Daemon’s dragon will become the least of his worries.”

A smirk tugs on your lips that you can't hide, that you can’t shame either. Aemond is right to be angry, and right to project his anger in that way, or else they won’t listen. Besides, you do have to admit you like it when he’s angry, and this new role of command suits him well.

Yet not everyone agrees, especially not his mother. She glances over at you in search of aid, but you just meet her gaze and flash her your smirk as you lift your nose in the air and sit back; because now you too carry this sense of cockiness, this rise in your ego that comes with your new title that the Lords around the table had to oblige to out of fear of Aemond.

If it were up to them they wouldn’t have allowed the daughter of Rhaenyra to sit amongst them and listen to their war plans, but you are now the Princess Regent in a time of war, you are needed around the table to listen mostly. And yes that bugs you, you still want to do more, and you hope now that Aemond discovered your immunity he’ll let you do more, that he’ll let you fight like you wanted to, but you don’t know. You haven’t talked about that night and the fact that he saw that the fire is not harmful or deadly to you, you haven’t had time, and even if you know you saw the love and awe in his eyes you still fear what he has to say on the matter, so that also why you haven’t really tried to talk about it.

You’ll talk about it soon, you have to, right now you’re just relishing in the fact that you’re around the table and that you have a more important title. You find pride in it, and more power than you’ve had before.

It’s intoxicating.

“Your irritations are justified, Aemond,” Alicent tries to do what she wanted you to do. “But it does seem—”

“I have a task for you, as well,” Aemond cuts Alicent off as he begins to stalk around the table. “Ser Tyland.”

Alicent’s brown eyes once again find you and pass her confusion for her son's sudden cold shoulder towards her, and even if you know what brought this on, you don’t offer her sympathy or pity, you look at her blankly before following Aemond with your eyes and watch him land behind Ser Tyland, like a predator scaring its prey.

“We will make an alliance with the Triarchy,” Aemond continues. “I've had enough of this cursed blockade.”

“My Prince,” Ser Tyland tries to bring up an argument. “You cannot mean to treat with the Free Cities. The captains of their ships are dangerous mercenaries, little more than pirates—”

“They are a stone's throw away across the Narrow Sea,” Aemond cuts the man's argument off as he steals a glance at you to let his gaze linger on you before he drops his eye on the man under him. “Lannister and Hightower ships will take months to arrive. The Triarchy will delight in the chance to terrorize the Sea Snake again. Let them weaken his blockade while our true allies make their long journey east.”

“The Triarchy may play at accepting terms but they are not to be trusted,” Alicent tries to reason with Aemond. “Your father knew this. What has come of our letters to the Greyjoys?” She drifts to a different matter in the same territory.

“They have been to no avail,” maester Orwyle gives the Dowager Queen the answer she seeked.

“The Red Kraken waits,” Lord Jasper interjects. “Seeking his best advantage. Though we may draw him in with honey. If it comes to it. An offer of marriage, perhaps to the Dowager Queen?”

You snicker in amusement and Alicent glances at you as she protests. “Out of the question.”

“You’ll have better luck breaking the Ice Wall,” you break your silence with knowledge you harbor from your past in the North. “When I was ward to Lady Karstark, the Greyjoys would send raid parties to Stony Shores, so to make them stop Lord Bennard Stark sent a proposal, one of his sons to one of Lord Greyjoy's many daughters,” you scoff and slowly lean forward.

“Lord Greyjoy sent back a nasty and bloody reply to deny the proposal. The raids did not stop until Lord Cregan Stark became lord because the Greyjoys’s answer with violence. I would suggest letting them sack some town close to their shores to gain their favor.”

“A bloody proposal but it might work,” Lord Larys actually says in your favor.

Alas Lord Jasper counters with discreet disagreement.

“We would have to think about it, and think of which shores they can attack.”

And that’s another way of saying no. You’ll tell your mother then, or Daemon, they’ll listen and gain their favor instead.

“The Dowager Queen spoke wisely, Your Grace,” Ser Criston cuts in. “Even if the blockade could be broken, are we to invite these alien raiders into our waters, so close to King’s Landing?”

“It’s time you set out for Harrenhal, I think,” Aemond pays his thought no mind and actually does as you told him. Which only works to feed that already heightened cockiness.

“Your Grace, if Daemon prevails in the Riverlands I no longer have the numbers to challenge him,” Ser Criston rebuttals, making you bite back your smug smile as you sit back and instead let your cockiness be shown in the way you sit, and the way your nose is slightly perked to touch the air, welcoming the sunlight to kiss your face just perfectly and only make you look that more regal.

“We lost much at Rook’s Rest,” Ser Criston makes sure to share while his eyes follow Aemond as he sits on the edge of the table beside him. “As you well know.”

“The longer we wait, the more chance he will prevail,” Aemond rebuttals using a variation of what you told him not long ago. “Lannister will march from the west. Take what strength we have and force Daemon and his Riverlords to fight on two fronts.”

You fiddle with one of your many rings on your fingers and watch the man seem almost hesitant to do as he’s told.

“His Grace speaks wisely,” Lord Larys says, but Ser Criston argues.

“We would do better to await the Hightower host and set out in good time.”

Aemond’s gaze drifts to you and you lock eyes but say or motion for nothing. You remain as prideful and smug and just hold his gaze until he returns his attention to the man beside him.

“There is no time,” Aemond counters. “It’s a fortnight's march to Harrenhal. We must strike before his army is raised.”

“And you yourself?”

Aemond tilts his head up and once again shares his smugness on the Daemon matter. “I will fly out to meet you when the time is ripe. My uncle is a challenge I welcome…if he dares face me.”

You could laugh at that. You could laugh at the many things Aemond says about Daemon because he thinks that Daemon is somehow scared, or at his level, and sure Aemond is threatening with Vhagar and his swordsman’s skills, but Aemond doesn’t have Daemon’s experience yet, once he does then you can say they could see eye to eye.

“I have some concerning news to share,” Lord Larys interjects and earns everyone’s attention. “I have just heard that Lord Cregan Stark leads an army of two thousand older men.”

You blink and that overpowering arrogance falters at the mention of Cregan, at the mention that he’s on his way to fight for his Queen after he said he couldn’t march so soon himself.

He’s actually coming down and that thought excites you more than it should. It makes your heart swoon more than it should. Yet you don’t display the smile that threatens to spread on your lips, you don’t let your heart show your pride or joy through your eyes, you remain nonchalant and ignore the attentive eyes of Lord Larys as he tries to catch any reaction, but you don’t give him the satisfaction.

“A measly army of old men that will be brought down quickly,” Aemond brushes Lord Larys off, but that's what the Lord expected, he just wanted to see how you would react, but you don’t fall for his trap.

“Now, I see we’re all agreed,” Aemond brings an end to the meeting after a moment's silence whilst he returns to his seat across from you.

“Your Grace,” Ser Criston says after he stands up.

The other bodies around the table don’t linger behind, they rise from their seats and walk out, you do the same but rather than walking out right away, you make yourself around the table to press a kiss on Aemond’s cheek that he welcomes by leaning over to meet your lips.

“My love,” you offer him sweet words before stepping back to walk around his seat with your fingers brushing over his shoulders.

Before you can lose touch, he captures your hand and brings you to a stop.

“Mother…a word,” he calls out before Alicent can leave the perimeters, all while he never once breaks your connection, and sparks this quick-growing tension that makes your heart begin to race with excitement.

“You,” he directs at you. “Eat. Don’t think you went unnoticed when we broke fast.”

You sigh. “I have found it more difficult this morning, they did not like what I ate,” you refer to the twins inside you. “Even now the thought of any food makes me want to vomit.”

Aemond hums and lets your hand go to caress your belly. “I’ll talk to the maester. You talk to Vanessa, have her make you some tea.”

You offer him a soft smile and give his mind some peace by nodding in agreement.

Aemond caresses your belly one more time with a faint smile before he grabs your hand and sends you off with a kiss on your knuckles.

As you walk away you don’t leave in silence, you pass Alicent and give her your last word. “Mother.”

Her eyes follow you and you can feel them on your back as you stride out with a teasing smirk because you both know that you meant that mockingly.

Now to the Godswood, where you won’t be alone, no, now rather than one guard there’s two watching over you now; Ser Jason, and Ser Cane Clegane; The Blood Hound as he’s popularly known, a thirty-something-year-old man who is rather stoic, with broad shoulders, built like an ox, and carries a deep and almost rocky voice. You are wary mostly because of your own indiscretions, but from what little time you have had with him he does look rather trustworthy.

Then again Aemond did personally inspect him and even tested his worth, so he is reliable if your life is ever threatened.

You hope you’ll have to wait and see.

Regardless, no one interrupts the peace you instantly find in the Godswood. You find comfort in the smell of the red leaves that swirl in your nose thanks to the gentle wind that howls in your ear. You feel bliss as the warm sunlight peeking through the gaps between the red leaves kisses your face. And not counting the shadows lurking in the distance, you don’t feel alone as you lose your eyes on the weeping face carved on the weirwood tree.

Eyes stare back at you, but it’s not a piercing gaze, it’s not judgmental, or heavy with intimidation, they’re gentle eyes, caring, and attentive. They admire your smile as you can’t help but think of Cregan marching down with his men to fight.

You shouldn’t be so happy, you need to knock your joy and pride down a peg or two after all, it’s unlikely you’ll see him, but you can’t help but feel…happy at the thought after you were certain that he would not dare come so soon.

And it’s not that you want to hop on your dragon and meet him halfway, no, the thought doesn’t cross your mind. You’re just happy to hear he’s coming with his army of men.

“Princess.”

And just like that your peace is broken, and by no other than Alicent who seems quite distressed when you turn to face her.

Why? What could she want?

.

.

.

.

.

A/N- Abbey by Mitski is yours and Aemond's anthem period in this story period.

Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic @lightdragonrayne @squidscottjeans @oh-you-mean-me @wallacewillow0773638 @icefrye19 @thescottpack @fiction-fanfic-reader @crazymusicgirl104 @r-3dlips @strangersunghoon @just-pure-trash @ethereal-athalia @missyviolet123 @callsignwidow @xunquish-blog @tabathastan

[kanmom51]

Are you sure? Jeju - Episode 4

The Pool

Honey's I'm back. Been to the edge of Australia, literally, and back.

Finally watched the episode, and oh boy, there is so much to break down, isn't there.

I won't lie, I've seen so much talk about EVERYTHING here on Tumblr and on X, and I really am joining this party super late. But I will be posting here for the fun of it, cause it's never enough, right? And also maybe I can bring some of the moments together, for points to be made, Idk. I just hope I can manage to get some posts done before the next episode drops, cause there is really so much to unravel here.

Out of everything that went down I thought I'd start with JM and JK's pool party fest.

They return from dinner, where they let Tae know he's a guest on THEIR show once again (and I mention this just because those two just don't stop reminding us and him of said fact, lol) and decide to go into the pool to cool down.

JK looked like he needed a bit of cooling down when JM was undressing next to him.

It was just the two of them, Tae not joining.

JK is in first and JM following, entering and moving towards JK with a LOOK on his face. A LOOK that had JK finding the need to remind JM that the pool wall was glass and see through.

There is no way under the sun that JM's intentions were pure at this moment.

NO WAY!!!

JK knew it.

You gotta be daft not to see it, especially with that man's reaction to JK's comment.

And it's funny, cause it's not like JM didn't see that glass pool wall before. It was just JK's need to remind him off it that makes it so much clearer he was up to no good, lol.

Did you notice how the footage cuts at that moment? I guess we are already used to these cuts, right? There are PLENTY of them in this episode as well. Don't get me started on the before shower, during shower and after shower that night, lol.

Right after that cut we go into Jikook playful mode.

We don't know just how much time they spent in that pool, but we got close to 4 minutes of it. Clearly they were there for some time, we got to see some highlights. The PG version of them playing around in the pool.

It amazes me every time when I see just how in sync those two are with each other. And we got to see it here as well. I mean, we saw it right through the episode. Remember in part 2 of my Jikook in bed (AYS CT) when I mentioned JK was just being with JM when he was just resting his head on JM's thigh? Well, I believe that word is so appropriate for this episode as well.

BEING

Just the two of them.

Even with Tae there with them, it was just them being with each other. With the mundane and everyday stuff.

It's the checking in on each other (for example when JK was getting excited over the food in the Japanese restaurant and JM checks in on him, or when he hits his fist on the table in the chicken restaurant and again, JM checking in on him, or JK just rubbing JM's thigh in the restaurant in episode 3 knowing he's not feeling the best).

It's the making joint decisions - what to eat, when to eat, what to do, when to go to sleep.

It's the calmness. Just calmness in their interactions.

It's them knowing what the other is feeling or meaning, at times without even speaking.

It's them playing around with each other when others don't even understand what's going on (Tae on the boat not getting their playfulness or sense of humor).

It's their constant hyping each other up or complimenting each other.

It's them finding solace in each other.

It's them cuddling watching the sunset.

It's them finding figures in the clouds and drawing them.

It's them hugging while snorkeling.

It's them seeking each other out while snorkeling, wanting to share the experience with the other, share the fun.

It's them sharing their solo music and choreo with each other before it comes out. Spending their time talking about each other's singing and dancing.

It's them being super flirty and talking with underlying innuendos through out their conversations.

It's them just BEING with each other.

I will most likely be writing much more about this, probably small posts with these special moments, but I just had to mention this here as well. Because this here, their time in the pool, was one of those moments as well.

They just click.

And it's so damn loud just how special they are with each other, how different they are with each other.

Saying that is not about diminishing what they have with the other members, because we all know just how close they are with each other, all 7 of them. They are bandmates, they are good friends, they love each other. But let's be realistic here, with all of that, the level of their friendships, the depth of their relationships with each and every one of the other members varies. it's just how it is. Real life, you know. And saying that JM and JK's connection is different and showing how it's different does not diminish from their connections with the others, it just highlights THEM.

And as such, I don't cower away from making these comparisons, because they are part of what screams that the two are a couple. There are things you do with your significant other you don't with your good friend. There are ways you behave with said significant other that you won't with your good friend. There are things you will allow your significant other do to you, do with you, that you won't allow with a good friend. It's the way you communicate with your significant other, things you say, things you don't say, things you don't need to say, tones you use, all of which you don't do with a friend, no matter how good of a friend they are. That's life. No reason to shy away from that just because there are some people that will take it the wrong way.

JM and JK in the pool was just that.

When you know you know.

They were playing games with each other.

Btw, I'm gonna say it even though you have all probably noticed this already, but JK, he doesn't push JM in that game. Not one time. And it reminds me of previous times they've done this.

More games.

then for Tae's benefit.

They were being playful with each other.

They were having fun with each other, just BEING.

Doing THEIR thing.

Jjust clicking.

Being absolutely the cutest EVER possible.

And they can't be Jikook without their signature "You are me I am you", right?

This whole sequence reminded me of the last time we got to catch their late night playfulness. You know, the whole mosquito net debacle, lol.

Only this time there was no alcohol involved and they fully aware of the cameras filming them, lol.

And before all those that happen to be lurking here waiting for me to say something to latch onto start celebrating "she said it", I say calm your farm, because NO SHE DID NOT. Them knowing the cameras are there and having fun TOGETHER, at times posing for the cameras, hence doing it for us to see, takes absolutely NOTHING from it being an authentic and spontaneous interaction.

I can't believe that I actually have to explain this.

Did I mention how many times those two reminded Tae and us that he's a guest on THEIR show?

"The guest is coming"...

"He must be bored and wanting attention"...

"He must be lonely..."

And this is for our benefit? Or their own, perhaps, lol.

"He's the guest... guests can comb their hair...guests should be pretty..."

And then the editors chime in as well.

I guess it was super important to drive this point right home just in case there were those that still didn't get it.

This show, it's JM and JK's. Period.

Tae = guest.

And he is sure going to be reminded of that by both of them throughout the trip. He is, and so are we.

And what about JK leaving the pool only to jump in again ("it's cold") to climb out again with JM?

Again, one of those "we do things together" of theirs.

All in all, the episode was friggin amazing. If there was anyone who for some reason (delusions, for one) thought that Tae being there with them will take away from us seeing just how JIKOOK those two were, or that JK would show his undying love for his husband and father of his children (🤮🤮) that sure was a hell of a rude awakening for them.

The interactions were as clear as day. And very telling. As per usual and as I had said in the past, if anything then JM is the axis with JK and Tae circling him, biding for his attention, JK knowing everything there is to know about JM while Tae needing to say just how much he knows JM. And if we're on the subject of Tae wanting to tell us just how much he knows JM, what we also got to see is just how much Tae and JK don't know about each other (Tae not knowing JK doesn't drink sweet drinks before eating or JK not knowing that Tae has been struggling with sleep lately), again, as a stark difference to JM and JK's abundance of it (JM knowing JK hadn't slept on the flight back prior to their trip, JM singing 3D).

I have so much more to say, but I'm going to stop right here, leave some more to talk about later.

[moriitis]

What would it be like dating Toby Rogers?

Slightly NSFW? TWs; gore, blood, manic episodes, kidnapping. Just little HCs.

Pretty much the biggest goofball there is but he can be really annoying, anything to get you pissed, doesn't really understand the concept of overstepping a joke or taking things too far. I feel like warnings kinda go over Toby's head, so if you told him to stop, he would continuously do it because the first time it made you laugh so naturally every time he did it, you'd laugh, right? He'd do things like jabbing you in the sides when he walks past, jamming his fingers up your butt to piss you off (smacking your ass when you bend over), chasing you up the stairs, he'd mock you when you whined and do that thing to mimic your facial expressions in an irritating way but also in a way to make you laugh.

Loves driving you around, especially late at night. More prone to opening up about his feelings when driving because then his attention is diverted to the road and he's forced to avoid your gaze. You'll always know he needs to vent when he asks if you wanna go ride around, listen to music or something, he'd mention it with his hands in his pocket, pretty embarrassed to ask. Also just likes to ride around and find somewhere remote to park so he can fuck you in the backseat of his car.

Probably the worst person ever to try to call or text. He'll never answer so good luck really trying to get a hold of him.

He's a romantic and he's pretty corny. On the rare occasion he does decide to text you, it'll be a song that reminded him of you. Although don't be surprised if he literally hands you a tape with burned music on it. Wild flowers that he decided to pick because the colour of the petal reminded him of your eyes? Coming home late at night with your favourite snacks. He's a good boy and despite the occasional memory loss, he remembers these things about you, he also keeps reminders on a little piece of paper tucked away in his wallet.

He's a physical person but really only in private. Cuddling on the couch? For sure! Want to share a kiss in public? Probably not. It's nothing toward you, he just feels weird expressing bouts of love in public with people watching. Was it the lack of love in his childhood? Probably.

Will roll your cigarettes/blunts for you. He's a natural.

Very competitive gamer, try playing some Mario Kart against him and this guy is quivering at the thought of beating you. You got him with a blue shell once at the finish line, thus taking his first place last minute and he had to step outside to have a cigarette because the loss hit him that hard.

Despite his lack of physical affection in public, he is possessive. Hates the idea of other people looking at you and gets very jealous. Also will stand incredibly close to you, close enough you could feel his breath against the back of your neck. He'll scowl around too and make sure to put himself between you and another guy.

Speaks German when he's angry, like when he rages at Mario Kart (he HATES Yoshi primarily) you'll hear him talking smack to the TV in German.

Also speaks German to you when you're beneath him, muttering small praises in his mother tongue as he pants and groans softly against the skin of your neck. Sometimes he'll mix, start speaking English but end the sentence in German.

His driving is reckless but he'd never put you in any danger, not after what happened with Lyra.

He hates being around you when he has a manic episode, his voice cracking as he yells at you to stand back, that he's dangerous, that he could hurt you, kill you. With each step you take toward him, he takes one back, violently shaking his head. His tics and twitches are worse as he runs his hands through his hair, they bawl, tugging at his locks as if he was daring to rip them out but the pain is non existent to him. He'd storm out, distancing himself from you. It could take weeks, the longest it took was a month before he came back, scruffy, tired, longing.

Talks about how he wants to travel, to go somewhere with you, that he'll kidnap you and take you away forever and that you'll only be his and his alone.

Does get a little thrill of scaring you. Making it look like your home alone but as you walk past the bathroom door, he'll jump out, one hand over your mouth, the other wrapping around your waist as he picks you up helplessly and drags you back. You'll kick and scream until his raspy laughter breaks out behind you. He did it a couple times until you had a panic attack once and he never did it again.

Likes to remind you to take your medication, dude specifically has a calendar to keep track of times and dates, when you should take this and that. Especially birth control.

Will touch your thigh as you sit in the car together sometimes his fingers pushing up further in a little attempt to get lucky, a smug smirk on his face.

Compliments in German too, of course.

Will suddenly hit the breaks in the car to send you flying and then lecture you to always wear a seatbelt. Always wear your seatbelts when sat in car with him.

sorry these suck lololol, idk might seem off character for toby but it's just how i see it play out. i'll make another post for just general HCs for Toby bc i have so many. anywayyy taking requests to shoot if you have any ideas :)

[fxrmuladaydreams]

jim and pam (sv5) (dr3)

pornstar!seb x pornstar/camgirl!reader , pornstar!daniel x pornstar/camgirl!reader

summary: who would’ve thought an episode of the office would make you feel so introspective

notes: this one’s short, i’m sorry

prev part next part

Things had become odd after your day spent with Sebastian. It was like there was a new energy surrounding you.

Sebastian was great, really. He was sweet, flirty yet still respectful. You honestly wanted nothing more than to grab him by his shoulders and plant a kiss against his lips. It also didn’t help that his channel hadn’t had any new videos posted to it as of late.

You didn’t want to assume that this was some grand gesture of his devotion to you, but a part of you still hoped. You hoped that you were the reason he wasn’t seeing other women, that he was actively choosing to spend his time with you as opposed to spending it filming with other people.

You find yourself seeking him out regularly, longing for his attention, and he’s more than happy to give it to you. Lunches turn into movie nights turn into sleepovers turn into making breakfast together in the kitchen.

That’s how you find yourself seated on the couch, with Sebastian on the other side of it. You’ve both got plates of food on your lap, and are facing each other while the television plays in the background. You had decided that you should watch something together while you ate, and you picked The Office. It was funny, something simple enough that you didn’t really need to focus on it, you could just relish in the presence of each other.

It plays in the background as you nudge your food around your plate. Sebastian keeps his eyes locked on the television.

“Why doesn’t Jim realize that he should be with Pam?” He asks, not necessarily looking for an answer.

You shrug. “Maybe he’s happy with Karen. I mean, I think he and Pam are perfect together, but it’s possible for him to be happy with someone else too.”

Sebastian turns to look at you, then moves to fully face you. “You think that’s possible? That someone could be so in love, so perfect for someone else, and that they could just ignore those feelings while they’re with someone else?” He raises a brow.

You suddenly feel like you’re no longer talking about The Office. You had always felt comfortable around Sebastian, from very early on. He made it clear that he cared about you, until he pushed you away. Were you making a mistake entertaining the idea of being with Daniel instead?

“I think at this point it’s a right person, wrong time sort of situation for them.” You tell him softly.

He nods. “But that doesn’t mean they can’t fix it in the future. See if they were truly meant to end up together?” He smiles. He turns back to the television when you don’t answer him.

The rest of breakfast is spent quietly watching The Office, and cleaning up the kitchen together.

Sebastian gives you a soft smile just before leaving. “Always a pleasure schatz.” He presses a soft kiss to your cheek, leaving you at your door.

Daniel comes over just before lunch. You try to expel the awkward air between you from the other day, allowing him to be more affectionate, but not possessive.

Unlike with Sebastian, he keeps his arms wrapped around you on the couch, practically holding you on top of him.

You close your eyes as you rest your head against his chest. You focus on the soft steady beating of his heart, the heart that he’s openly given to you.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head sweetheart?” He asks, running a hand along your back.

You lift your head to look up at him. He smiles down at you, his dark eyes shining in the light coming in from the window.

“Nothing. Just enjoying this. Being here with you.” You tell him.

He grins, his arms squeezing you a little tighter for a moment. “I’m enjoying this too.”

You fiddle with your hands as you watch Daniel gather his things before leaving. He tugs his hoodie back on over his head, and grabs his keys off your counter.

“Daniel?” You ask, following him to the door.

“Yes sweetheart?”

You rock back and forth on your heels. “Maybe, you could just spend the night? It’s getting late, and I don’t mind having you over.” Your words are quiet, like you’re almost afraid of saying them out loud.

He nods. “I’ll stay. But only if you’re sure you want me to.”

“I want you to.”

He drops his keys back on the counter, and follows you to your room. He pulls his hoodie back off, then begins to pull his shirt off too.

“Is this okay? I usually just sleep in my boxers… If not I can just sleep in my jeans.”

You shake your head. “No, it’s fine.” You try not to stare as Daniel strips in front of you.

Your phone screen lights up with a notification. It’s a goodnight text from Sebastian. You respond quickly before putting your phone face down on your bedside table.

You start off on opposite sides of the bed, but quickly feel Daniel’s arm wrap around you, pulling you against him. His soft snoring proves that it was a subconscious move, that he probably had no intention of possibly stepping over a line when you invited him to stay the night.

However, you’re the one who feels trapped between a rock and a hard place. Well, Daniel’s chest, and the phone sitting two feet away from you. You know you have to make a choice, but feel torn between the two men who’ve chosen to love you. You just have to hope that you pick the right one.

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#37: The Good Kind Heart (1.04)

gif cred: @kimwexlersponytail

This scene right here just exudes warmth and I love it so much. 🥰 It was food for the soul seeing Richonne all cuddled up like they've always loved to do. And best of all, it was great to see them finally having a heartwarming conversation about their baby 🥹...

Danai wrote some of the best dialogue since The Walking Dead’s prime. It’s excellent and her pen was especially on fire in the remainder of this bedroom scene, featuring my favorite Richonne content ever. 🔥

Like a lengthy scene with just Rick and Michonne in bed and fantastic dialogue - that is my exact cup of tea and I see exactly why it was said that this episode was for us. And it's for anyone who enjoys quality content too. 😊

So first; the visual of Rick and Michonne holding hands in bed just instantly makes me so happy. 🥰 I love how they feel right at home being back in each other's arms. And it's sweet seeing them be so at peace even despite the fact that this building is on the verge of going down. Again, when they're together the world and crumbling buildings can wait. 👌🏽

And I’ve always said it cuz it’s always been true - in each other's arms is where these two are most meant to be. 😌

Then, it never fails to elate me to hear that the first thing Rick says is, “He looks like me?” 🥲 Now there is the man I know who would absolutely want to talk about his son.😊 And it’s so cute the content way he says it.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

I love that he asks this question specifically too. Because RJ really is his mini-me and it’s like he’s getting this joy in knowing that he definitely contributed to that little boy even if he hasn’t been around to raise him.

Michonne laughs when he asks because she knows RJ is Rick’s little twin. And then Rick makes Michonne laugh again when he teases, “So he’s really good-looking?” 😊

First - I love seeing Richonne back to laughing and being lighthearted. Second; there’s never been a cuter couple ever. They're just perfect together inside and out. Third; it always tickles me that Danai wrote something that acknowledges how attractive Rick/Andy is lol. I mean, the fineness needed to be recognized. 😌

gif cred: @riickgrimes

It is so sweet the way Rick’s face lights up when he makes Michonne laugh and how she’s always just so smitten by him.

Another thing I always love seeing in this moment is just how comfy Michonne seems. Like she just appears so gorgeously glowy and relaxed and like she’s been able to return to herself in a new way after their moment of intimacy. And a lot of that is because her safe space is back. 🥲

gif cred: @perryabbott

And now that he's stopped trying to act like what they have is broken, Rick also just seems so refreshingly relaxed and released from at least a little bit of the pain he'd been carrying.

Michonne answers him saying, “It’s nuts how much he looks like you. Save for the light brown skin it’s hard to tell I had anything to do with it - Oh but he does have my eyes.” This is the Richonne parents' content I signed up for! 🙌🏽

gif cred: @riickgrimes

I adore seeing Rick and Michonne finally get to just talk as RJ’s mom and dad and happily chat about the features they gave their baby. 😭

gif cred: @riickgrimes

And I feel like TWD and TOWL def gave enough indication that Michonne’s eyes are one of Rick’s favorite things so I love that he gets to learn that his son has her eyes. I’m just beaming watching how precious this whole exchange is.🥰

gif cred: @riickgrimes

I love how attentive Rick is as she tells him about their son and how Michonne always has such a radiance about her when speaking about her kids. 

And then Rick, knowing who RJ is made up of, has a strong feeling he knows one of his son’s traits when he asks/says, “And he’s stubborn?” I love the way he asks it like he already knows the answer. 😋

gif cred: @riickgrimes

And Michonne’s face again lights up as she immediately nods and says, “Just like his daddy, yes.” So so so cute. 🥹

I love the melodic way she says it and the way Rick instantly laughs because even tho he knows he was asking based on who RJ’s mom is, he also knows she’s right about him being stubborn.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

You can very visibly see how much Rick likes hearing that his son is just like his daddy.

But then it becomes even cuter when Rick says, “Like his mama” and kisses Michonne's shoulder. Y’all, 🫠.

Inject this whole moment into my veins, please. Their smiles here are everything and hearing them call each other RJ’s daddy and mama. The absolute best. 😭

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Rick’s “like his mama” with the shoulder kiss and Michonne’s smile live rent-free in my head for real. I love it. They’re so tender and warm with each other even when teasing and it’s perfect. Andy and Danai really made every right choice in this entire scene. 🤩

I adore how Rick and Michonne both think the other is stubborn but that they so clearly love that about each other. And it’s true - Richonne is stubborn as all get out which was clear throughout this episode especially. But it works because with each other they’re always willing to eventually meet each other where they’re at.

In season 10, Michonne told Ezekiel that she and him wouldn't have worked out because they’re both too stubborn and I remember back then thinking 'Rick is stubborn too tho'...but Rick and Michonne’s brand of stubbornness actually complements each other well.

(And Rick is stubborn but 99% of the time he's not stubborn with Michonne 😋)

Richonne basically survived that CRM helicopter crash because of their stubbornness - Rick being stubborn about getting Michonne home alive led him to talk to her cash crazy which then led Michonne, who was stubborn about not leaving without him, to yank them both out of the helicopter.

And even tho RJ didn’t have many scenes in TWD I feel like his adorable stubbornness was still hinted at occasionally. Like how Daryl told Michonne that RJ was refusing to eat his vegetables.

And this year I saw a s11 clip where RJ covers for Judith and the little guy will not spill his big sister's whereabouts. It’s cute. 😊 He gets his stubbornness from both his parents.

Also, I like how knowing RJ is stubborn and good-looking is how Rick most knows this is a Richonne baby. Those are two strong qualities Rick and Michonne both possess lol. And I love that Rick already seems like such a proud dad over RJ and proud knowing that his son's mom is Michonne. 🥰

gif cred: @nat111love

After years of wanting to see Rick and Michonne joyfully talk about their kid it was so so special to see that finally play out here.

And then this scene was already giving me everything I wanted with Richonne being all happy, playful, and snuggly while talking about their baby boy, and then it gets just a million times sweeter when Michonne then turns toward him and softly says, “He does have your good kind heart though. That’s what reminds me the most of you.” Absolutely Beautiful. 🥹

Like the visual with Richonne wrapped in each other's arms and their faces so close together, the words, the delivery, the lighting, the moment, all just so beautiful. 👏🏽

gif cred: @riickgrimes

I adore hearing Michonne tell Rick that their son has his heart. And the Richonne tones are back in full force which you know I’m always here for. It’s also so powerful for Michonne to say this cuz there were a few moments in this episode where Rick’s good kind heart was MIA but Michonne never stopped believing in his heart.

She knows that his good kind side is still in there because it can’t help but show itself like in the moments Rick would check on her while they were running through the building.

It’s also so sweet that this means whenever Michonne would see RJ being good and kind, she would see Rick. 😭

And Michonne has an extremely good kind heart too but she loves Rick so much that for her she feels like RJ got that heart from her husband. 🥲

She says it so sincerely too and it’s clear Rick’s good kind heart is something she loves most about him and her son. Me too. 🙋🏽‍♀️

And seeing Michonne smile as she shares this, the love for her boys is so evident. When she says it too it just feels like something she’s been longing to tell Rick for years - That their son has his heart.

I adore that Rick gets to know that while he and Michonne have been apart, she hasn’t been entirely without him because every day she got to wake up to his little mini-me who had his smile, stubbornness, and most of all, and best of all, his good kind heart. She still had a piece of Rick’s heart, flesh, and blood with her. RJ is such a gift. 🥹

It’s also so sweet to then see Rick’s response to his wife’s beautiful words about him and their son. The way Rick looks at Michonne after she says this, you know he heard the ‘I love you’ in her words.

I really get the sense that Rick too is moved by how much Michonne loves and believes in his good kind heart even despite some of his previous treatment this ep. There’s a reason Rick’s dreams constantly reminded him of Michonne’s belief in him because she really does support and believe in him like no other. 

So then another top tier Richonne moment occurs when Rick then raises up and pulls Michonne closer to him as they share this precious look and have their most precious kiss. 😍 Like to say I adore this whole moment is an understatement.

I of course always love Richonne’s hungry make-out sessions but something about those sweet and simple single kisses is just as mesmerizing. 🤩

And this one here - I call it the “Baby, we made a baby” Kiss, because the way Rick and Michonne look at each other and smile and then have this tender kiss, it just feels like a moment of them sharing in the joyous acknowledgment that they really did have that baby they dreamed about.

I love how as Rick pulls her closer before the kiss she like softly hits his chest. Then I really love the way they look at each other after the kiss. It is just sweetness personified to see them both be so taken by each other and present in this moment. 😍

Rick is in full lover-boy mode the way he smiles at her, bites his lip a little, and rubs her stomach. I loved seeing that movement after he didn’t get a chance to be there to rub her stomach during the pregnancy. 🥲 In this moment it just feels like he’s so aware and appreciative that Michonne carried his child.

gif cred: @nat111love

And Michonne’s smile up at him. 🥹 Just so much love communicated. Also, I always love that the bullet casing can be seen in her hair. After all those years of finding these little ways to stay close to Rick, now here he is with her in this bed as close as can be. Won’t He Do It. 🙌🏽

And then y’all, since they’re always in sync they’re both ready for a hot and heavy round two when they go in for that second kiss. 😏

gif cred: @lousolversons

I love how quickly they’re ready to match each other's energy with Rick starting to lift the sheet off her and Michonne putting her hands in his hair before reaching down somewhere and wrapping her legs around him which...

That second kiss is instantly hot and they are both fully ready to go another round…but then a hilarious interruption occurs when that roomba comes riding in with its beeping noises. And Rick’s startled reaction is comedy. 😂

gif cred: @taiturner

Michonne thinks Rick’s reaction to the cleaning device is humorous too as she lifts up and laughs, explaining to her country-boy husband that it’s just a Roomba. Rick looks straight up bewildered as Michonne tells him about Roombas and what they do.

And of course, the modern city girl Michonne had one herself from before. I love even learning little details like this about Michonne’s pre-ZA life. 😊

Like anytime Michonne drops a new detail about her life before, even about cleaning tools she used to own, my extra self is always intrigued and all-ears like...

Michonne says, “That explains why it’s so spotless” as she gives Rick another amused look and lays back down. It’s cute how you can tell she finds his perplexity cute here. 😋

And so while the Roomba distracted them from another round a bit, there still could have been hope of them maybe picking up where they left off…but then this next conversation happens and we’re reminded Richonne still has a whole lot to unpack. 🤕

As for this good kind heart scene tho - Perfection. Loved every second of it and it just portrayed so much of what makes Richonne such a beautiful pairing. 👏🏽 Seeing Rick and Michonne have this lovely moment as RJ’s parents was sublime and I’ll forever adore this heartwarming exchange. 🥹👌🏽

[wonwoosthetic]

Hey author! Will you be continuing the NANA Tour series??

Yes, of course!! I know, I’m taking quite some time with it, but I sadly don’t have much time to watch the episodes one after the other, so it usually takes me a while to write them, especially bc I never know when enough is enough, so I also always write way too much😅, but I still love continuing it even now!😊🥰

series masterlist

word count – 12.5k

warnings – almost cursing haha

Go Together NANA Tour EP3-3. - EP3-4. 🌷 Minnie

[added captions are in brackets] ˙ᵕ˙

EP3.3 Nice to meet you, Salute!

After an exciting day, going well over the recommended 10k steps a day average, Jeognhan, Joshua, Minnie, and Vernon finally arrived back at the rented AirBnB. They had divided the bags filled with trinkets and clothing, as well as a few snacks, equally so that each one of them was carrying one back to the house. The sun had already started to set, draping the Italian countryside in a soft golden glow. While the day was slowly coming to an end, the temperature was still peaking high, explaining the exhaustion radiating off the group.

"Great job everyone," Jeonghan breathed out heavily. As enjoyable as the day was, they were happy to be back, re-joining the rest of the members as they walked onto the property.

Before they even reached the door, Seventeen's main producer was just coming from the other direction, presumably the garden, welcoming the four with a naked torso and sweatshorts.

"Oh, Woozi," the '95 Liner called out. "Did you have fun?" The younger three members huddled in with Vernon right behind him, followed by Minnie, then Joshua. The girl's eyes found the '96 Liner in a clearly very comfortable state of mind, chuckling at his choice of non-existing clothing.

"Ey," the younger rapper's voice rang through her ears as he stopped in his tracks, quickly turning around and raising a hand to cover the female member's eyes.

[Protecting innocent eyes]

His antic only made her laugh even louder, getting Jeonghan to stop and glance at the maknae duo.

Minnie slapped Vernon's hand away from her face with a whine and gave him a nudge, making him slightly stumble backwards, cackling to himself.

"What are you doing?" The oldest laughed out loud, joining Joshua, who was already amused at the two. The girl just shook her head and passed them to head towards the entry of the house.

[A loving bond between the youngsters]

Before they reached it, Jeonghan mentioned the Korean grocery store they had come across, explaining where they had gotten the groceries they were holding. The supermarket carried everything they could've asked for on the other side of the world - Ramen noodle packages, instant rice, they had even bought a good amount of Soju bottles, knowing these would go down like water with the rest of the members.

As soon as they got into the house, Minnie noticed how unusually quiet the place was.

"Where's everyone?"

Dokyeom, who was chilling in the living room on the other end of the room, perked his head up at the sound of the girl's voice.

"In their rooms. We're having a break."

Minnie chuckled, "A break from what?" Knowing they were on a vacation in general and finding humour in the term 'break' while not having to do or worry about anything at all. Her fellow '97 Liner shrugged as he walked up to her, reaching his hand out to take over the paper bag she was holding in her grip.

[A gentleman at heart]

"No, it's okay, I'm gonna take it downstairs," she brushed him off, wanting to rush into the kitchen while he continued to be hot on her tracks.

"I can help," he announced, but Minnie stopped him right before she headed down the steps.

"It's okay," smiling brightly up at him before noticing the oldest member, who had come to a halt closer towards the entrance. "Jeonghannie!" She called out to him, making him turn around. "Give me your bag!"

In a somewhat jog, he crossed the ground over to her and was about to hand over the other bag-

"Can you carry both of them?"

Getting a nod from her in return, but he shook his head and joined her on the steps. "It's okay, I'll go with you."

"But I can-"

"Go," he nudged her carefully to continue walking as they both disappeared onto the lower floor of the house.

[Minnie has a lot of helping hands]

In the kitchen, Joshua and Dokyeom joined the two, helping with unloading everything that was supposed to stay there before bringing the rest back upstairs. While some decided to go back into their individual rooms, Minnie was being kept in the living room, mostly due to the maknae who had found out his favourite noona arrived again.

"Noona!" Dino smiled brightly as soon as he found her silhouette coming up the stairs again.

[A little brother that has been desperately waiting for his favourite sister]

Planted in his seat, he opened his arms, waiting for her to come towards him. A grin had made its way onto her face, only widening with each step she took.

"How was the wine tasting?" She asked him. Partially theoretically with a hint of sarcasm, but also somewhat truly wondering about it. His cheery persona wasn't anything rare, yet she could tell by the still soft blush on his cheeks that the alcohol had not yet completely worn off the younger member.

She bent down, to wrap her arms around his muscular frame, chuckling as he tightened his grip before releasing her.

"Ah...," he sighed out loud. "It was... an experience." Minnie chuckled, watching the maknae smile to himself. She let her hand brush over the top of his blonde head of hair.

"Did you drink a lot?"

[Caring words of an older sister <3]

As soon as he glanced up, the girl snickered, the look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know.

"Too much," he admitted, only getting her to laugh louder, Dokyeom and Joshua joining in as they walked into the living room, throwing themselves onto individual seats.

"We all took a nap afterwards. We had to," the maknae continued. "We also brought some of the wine. One is from 2015, our debut year."

"Aw, that's cute. Let's drink it later on," she stated, getting a soft groan from the youngest in return, making her giggle once again.

-

The group got a short, yet much needed, break from exploring Italy before they were asked to get into the bus that was waiting outside for them. Their packed timetable was still not coming to an end any time soon - the producers made sure they'd be using and enjoying every possible moment to the fullest.

Minnie had found her seat in the very back again with the window to her left and Vernon to her right. While they were putting on their seatbelts and sinking into the cushions, one of the female producers in the very front of the bust started to explain part of their schedule for the evening.

"Today is the last and peak day of the wine festival," she told the members. "You can compare it to Myeongdong Christmas day." Her explanation received a round of gasps from the group as they realised just how many people they were going to be met with once they arrived.

"Woah...," Minnie spoke quietly. "But how cool to have a wine festival in your city."

Vernon nodded next to her, meeting her eye as he spoke. "Imagine having a soju festival."

[Dreams of a true SEVENTEEN member]

His remark made the girl's eyes immediately widen in fear, changing to speak English,

"I wouldn't survive that... But I'd enjoy it." Her reaction got a chuckle out of the younger member as he nudged her side, shaking his head at her comment. "I'm serious!" She exclaimed, joining him with laughter as Joshua in the middle also started chuckling.

The bus set off, letting a rush of excitement rush through the members as they headed to the festival. Dokyeom celebrated by lifting up the phone in his hands, ready to take a picture of himself and everyone around him when he noticed the younger members behind him engulfed in a conversation.

"Can you please look up if you're gonna be in the picture?" His question caught the maknaes' attention as they perked their heads up, immediately smiling into the camera as if it was a reflex. Afterwards, everyone turned back to focus on themselves, most getting entertainment from their phones. Minnie used the time to send a quick text to the leader, forgetting about the time difference separating them.

"Vernonnie, Josh," she called out to get her fellow English-speaking members to glance at her. Minnie was already holding up her front camera, snapping a few pictures once they had looked her way.

"Who are they for?" Joshua wondered as he posed a few different ways before the girl took the phone back into both of her hands.

"My mum and the Chois," the female member automatically switched to their native tongue as he had done so as well.

Shua chuckled, "'The Chois-'"

"I don't know how else to say it," Minnie answered with a smile. "Eomma, Appa, Seungmin-, and Seungcheol-oppa. Better?"

"You really have a group chat with everyone, huh?" Vernon suddenly jumped in, his arms crossed while his head relaxed against the backrest.

With an excited nod, the girl answered. "With everyone that's important to me."

[A loving family person <3]

-

The drive was only a short 10 minutes long. The bus stopped right at the unofficial entrance of the festival, leaving the members to get off and explore the open space on their own. It was only then that they were able to come to face with the crowd that had already gathered.

Strutting by herself, Minnie was right behind Jun, who had gotten one of the many go-pros they should be carrying from the producers.

Their eyes fell over the area, looking around the different corners and everything the festival had to offer. A soft gasp from the female member made Jun turn around as he continued to walk.

"What?"

Not thinking, he would've heard her, Minnie looked up before glancing down again, taking the seam of her top between her fingers.

"I just realised, I probably shouldn't have worn white to a wine festival."

"Why?" He wondered, slowing down in his steps to let her catch up with him.

"It's really hard to get red wine out of clothing."

The '96 Liner raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Oh, really?" Getting a nod from her in return. "Interesting... but you're not a messy eater, I don't think you'll get your clothes dirty."

She shrugged. "We'll see. I'm just gonna have to be careful." Sending him a quick grin before they fell into a comfortable silence again.

Before they entered the festival, the group decided to explore some of the more narrow side lanes. Lined with tables, they were able to look through typical touristy souvenirs they might be interested in buying - anything from magnets, to bags or hats, or even paintings.

At the very end of that lane, they finally reached the hot spot of the festival. The crowd they had seen earlier was nothing compared to what they were met with at that moment. A round of gasps flooded through the group, and Minnie could feel herself taking a step closer to the members next to her, who just so happened to be Woozi and Hoshi. She managed to get right in between the two, catching the attention of both unit leaders.

The producer spoke up first. "You okay?"

"Hm?" Her head snapped towards him. "Oh- yeah, yeah."

Minnie wasn't terrible with crowds. She used to be. The thought of being in one could make her panic within only a few seconds. But that was in the past. She had gotten used to bigger masses of people - she had to over time. These days, people don't make her nervous anymore, she had promised herself to keep her head up high and keep a positive mindset, remembering how bad her anxiety used to be when she was younger - constantly looking for a security guard or other member had become exhausting over time and also almost impossible. Only airports are what she sometimes still fears. But this wasn't an airport and she was surrounded by her members, so everything was good.

Hoshi's arm suddenly thrown over her, made her glance over at him. "Let's get drunk."

[A clear goal ahead]

[Very ambitious]

His smile was so bright, making her chuckle at the chubby cheeks forming as the excitement was beaming off of him.

She let her arm wrap around his waist as she could feel him pulling her in closer. His hand brushed over the naked skin of her biceps.

"Won't you get cold later?" Commenting on the cold that would wash over the old city once the sun would set completely, leaving only the moon in the sky.

Minnie shrugged before looking up at him with a grin. "Once the alcohol is flowing, I'll forget about the cold." Her words made the '96 Liner cackle and give her a proud squeeze while Woozi just shook his head with a sigh, already knowing once these two were drinking together, there'd be no stopping them.

[A duo you have to look out for]

They continued their walk into the very centre of the open space, already admiring all the wine and food stands around them. The members could already tell, they would enjoy this evening very much. The producers informed them that they were allowed to roam around freely and on their own, only to remember to meet up later on at the restaurant they were standing in front of.

First on the list to enjoy the festival to its fullest was to purchase empty wine glasses, which Hoshi had already spotted. The 15 Euros entrance fee came along with a pouch, a glass, a pen, and a piece of paper to document each wine they'd be drinking to remember it later on - a survival participation kit if you so will. The group divided itself into a few members, who lined up to get a couple of those, while the rest stayed back and waited.

With their kits on them, the idols started their journey around the festival. Some decided to start on the left, others went to the right side first, and a few even just went straight into the mass.

-

Minnie, Dokyeom, and Hoshi had found themselves together, arriving at their first spot. After the woman generously filled up their glasses, they left the stall to find a free spot to stand together. Jeonghan and Joshua joined them within a few seconds as well.

Just as the girl was about to take her first sip of the evening, the '97 Liner stopped her.

"You have to smell it first."

With scrunched eyebrows, she looked at him closely.

"Smell it," he demonstrated, "And then swirl it in your glass and let oxygen get to it."

[A wine connoisseur at work.]

Minnie chuckled, "You became a real... how do you say-," she turned towards her fellow English-speaking member, "a wine connoisseur?" But Joshua just shrugged in return, grinning to himself,

"I have no idea."

"A wine expert," she settled on a simpler term, getting a bright smile from the main vocalist in response. Minnie did as she was told, moving her glass to let the wine move around before she took another sniff, getting notified by the experts that the smell was supposed to be different. Well,... if they say so.

"Can I drink it now?" She carefully asked, meeting Hoshi's eye as he had already thrown his head back to get the alcohol down his throat.

Dokyeom nodded, "Yeah, after smelling it, take a sip." The two '97 Liners clinked their glasses together before making the next move. As soon as the liquid touched their tongue, DK let out a satisfied hum.

"OH!" He put the glass down again. "Buongiorno!" Making the members around him laugh at his reaction.

"It's really good," Minnie nodded in agreement, handing hers over to Shua to let him make his own review. He took a quick sip and just by the raise of his eyebrows, the female member knew, he was thinking the same thing.

"Really good, wow."

Knowing that this was only the first one of many they tried, they were even more motivated to explore the other stalls as well, heading straight towards the next one. Stuck in line, Shua pulled out his go-pro to film the '97 Liner closely.

"Dokyeom seems like such a professional," he commented, getting a chuckle out of the girl next to them.

"When going to the winery today," DK started. "It was fun thinking that each bottle of wine had its own story." Minnie couldn't help but cackle at his statement.

"You're getting so sentimental over bottles of wine?"

"Think about it!" He scolded her, "Wine bottles sometimes have a long way in front of them and then they get stored for a very long time before you get to drink them."

"Okay, okay," she nodded, yet still finding amusement in the sentiment. "I understand."

They got their glasses filled up once again, this time, Minnie clinked hers with Hoshi after he had tapped her on the shoulder, nudging his in her direction.

"This one is heavy," he commented on it, handing it over to Shua - all while Minnie stood there with a frown. "What's wrong?" Hoshi asked her, noticing her quiet stance.

"I don't know if I can really taste a difference. It's wine," she shrugged.

[Alcohol is alcohol]

"You have to take a class like us," he told her. "Then you'll become an expert as well." Making her and the '95 Liner laugh.

Suddenly, Jeonghan jumped in, taking the glass into his hold, "What is it like?"

"It's heavy!" Hoshi blurted out. "I can feel that it's heavy," he proudly announced.

"You did well at the winery tour today," Joshua complimented him, getting a smile out of the younger member.

-

The ringing sound coming from Minnie's back pocket of her jeans brought the attention of all the members to her. She took her phone out, but before she could answer, Hoshi got nosy.

"Who is it?"

"Wonwoo," she let him know, a slight frown to her brows as she picked up, catching the 'aw' from Joshua and having to hold back a roll of her eyes, but not her grin.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" He asked her.

"At one of the stalls with the members. I can tell you the name, wait-", thinking he might want to join them, when he stopped her,

"Do you want to look at some of the souvenirs?"

[Roomates that have similar taste in sightseeing]

"Oh! Yes!" Her exclaim made the others glance at her in surprise. "But- where are you?"

Wonwoo tried to explain the location of his whereabouts as best as he could, knowing that most of the corners in the area looked too similar to each other.

"I think, I know what you mean," Minnie assured him. "I'll be right there." She let him know before hanging up with a soft 'bye'.

"Where are you going?" Jeonghan asked her as soon as he had put her phone away again.

"Wonwoo wants to look at the souvenirs." She turned around to glance at the side of the festival space, focusing on the different windows of the shops. "He said, he's over there. I'm gonna go," she let the others know. But not before leaving with an empty glass. She got a refill on what she and the members had just shared, finishing it quickly again, before handing the glass over and excusing herself from the rest of the group, getting a couple of 'be careful' and 'call him if you can't find him' in return before she disappeared into the mass.

[Caring friends <3]

The grip on the go-pro in her hand tightened as she managed to brush past the people coming from the opposite direction. Thankfully, Wonwoo's directions were clear and his location was close enough to let her find him quickly and not look like a lost puppy in the middle of the crowd.

Her smile widened as soon as her eyes fell on the familiar back looking into one of the windows, only to get even wider once she found Na PD turning around and revealing his face.

"Hyung!" She called out with a wave. The producer chuckled at her action, waving back and grinning as she waddled over to the duo. Wonwoo turned around at the sound of her voice, welcoming her with a smile as well.

The cameraman, who was filming the two men focused his view on her as she got closer.

"How was the wine?" Na PD wondered, getting a big smile in return.

"Really good," she sheepishly admitted, knowing that there most probably was already a slight blush in her cheeks since she hadn't eaten much before they started drinking. "But!" Minnie quickly added, "I haven't drunk a lot yet."

"Yet?" Wonwoo chuckled at her.

[Remembering Hoshi's words]

The girl nodded with a slight shrug, "Who knows... maybe we're gonna drink more later on."

"YOU are definitely going to drink some more," Youngseok chuckled as they started their journey into one of the side streets that separated them from the busy main space of the wine festival.

Minnie stopped in her tracks, making Wonwoo do the same immediately as well. "You can't say that!" She pointed at the producer with a smile. "That makes me sound like a drunk."

The '96 Liner patted her back to keep her walking while the laughs of the oldest of the three could be heard outside of the camera's view. "I didn't say that."

"You just enjoy having fun," Wonwoo defended her. "With wine."

"Exactly," she nodded at him while Na PD just shook his head.

[The excuse of drinking a lot]

As the two idols wanted to leave the plaza and head towards the side streets, Na PD decided to leave them with the other producer and stayed back at the main area of the wine festival to keep an eye on the rest of the group. They said their goodbyes and promised to meet up again at the restaurant they had picked out for later activities.

Now alone as three, writer and producer Choi Jaeyoung wondered, "What are you guys looking for?"

"I want to do something the others haven't done," the rapper explained.

Minnie nodded along to his words. "And we also talked about bringing something back to Seoul."

"Like what?" The producer wanted to know.

"Maybe magnets?" Wonwoo glanced at the girl.

"Yeah," she agreed. "We could see if we can get something for all of the members. Like small things." The duo determined that would be a good idea.

[Always thinking about the others as well]

Just as they were strolling through the narrow street, the '96 Liner stopped. "Let's go there!" He pointed at a walkthrough, painted in a bright yellow, easily catching the eyes of bystanders. "It's so pretty there."

Minnie and Writer Choi were slightly ahead, therefore not able to see what he was talking about but as soon as they caught up with him, the girl gasped.

"Woah..." Her gaze fell on the stone bridge they were getting close to that stretched over trees that were planted much lower and would lead to the other side, where another narrow street was waiting for them, but with brightly painted houses instead of souvenir shops.

"This really is a picture spot," Wonwoo commented, getting nods of agreement as answers.

Jaeyoung looked around the area. "I guess this is a village where people live," he explained.

"Oh wow... to live here...," Minnie dreamed out loud.

"Would you like that?" The producer asked her, getting a nod with a big smile from her.

"We talked about it earlier," she told him, swiftly pointing at Wonwoo, "it must be really nice to have a house here and be able to come whenever you want."

[Deep chats]

"If my house looked like that," Wonwoo jumped into the conversation. "I'm confident, I'd live happily."

"Mm," he hummed. "That's true. But you'd need someone to take care of it while you're gone."

Minnie gave him a quick look, "Mm... I didn't think that far. I just like the idea of it."

[Dreaming a lot while you're young...]

The writer chuckled. "I see."

"Wait," the female member turned around to glance at the rapper who was still admiring the view. "Did you just say you'd live happily if you had a house here?"

With raised eyebrows, he focused on her. "Yeah, wh-"

"Don't you live happily now?!" She threw at him.

Suddenly, the producer and cameraman laughed out loud at her words and Wonwoo's surprised expression. The rapper joined in, chuckling while Minnie continued to look at him unamused.

"Minnie-ya," PD Choi took a deep breath, trying to control his laughter.

The rapper did the same but went ahead to pat her shoulder but she softly pushed him away with a smile.

"I thought you were happy."

"Does she take everything word for word usually?" Jaeyoung asked into the round.

[Never take everything too seriously]

Wonwoo nodded with a smile only to turn towards the girl in the next second, meeting her already sheepish grin to match.

"Ah...," the older man breathed out, "You guys..."

"We're fun, huh?" Minnie jumped next to him, hugging his arm in an overly excited tone.

The producer nodded, patting her hand, "Very, yeah." Getting chuckles from the idols.

[Quick change of emotion seems normal]

Wonwoo had taken his phone out to capture the beautiful scenery surrounding them, making sure to not miss any spots. Minnie decided to take everything in with her own eyes, forgetting about the device in the back pocket of her jeans and not noticing the camera being focused on her for a few shots.

The writer's voice made her turn towards him. "Go stand there on the side together. Let me take a picture of you." He pointed at the edge of the bridge, pushing the girl closer to her fellow member. Handing the phone over to him, Wonwoo joined Minnie.

Together, they leaned onto the stones with the rapper putting his hand on top of them to let him lean.

"Get closer," Jaeyoung motioned with his hands to make them hurdle in together. Minnie chuckled but took a step closer. Wonwoo whispered something, getting a chuckle out of her as she settled down again, letting her shoulder brush against his chest while his right arm was resting behind her.

"A little closer," he asked them, getting an almost shy smile and shake of Minnie's head as an answer. Wonwoo opened his arm to let her slide in closer, scootching in a little bit more as well.

With her head slightly tilted towards the '96 Liner, the producer seemed finally happy enough and started to take some pictures, smiling brightly at the two in front of him.

"Woah... very pretty," Writer Choi grinned. "Next to Minnie, Wonwoo looks even broader."

The girl scoffed jokingly as the rapper took his phone back so they could continue their adventures, with a slight blush to his cheeks now. "Are you making fun of my statue?"

"No," he promised her, putting his hands on her shoulders, and leading them forward. "I'm just saying you look sweet like a doll and Wonwoo looks like he's part of the bridge."

[Compliments all around]

Even though the rapper was further ahead of them, the laughter coming from him made the two chuckle as well. He stopped to let them catch up, only continuing once he was next to Minnie again, leaving her to be in between the two men.

They decided to go back to where they came from, remembering that they had wanted to look through souvenirs and hopefully also buy some. Lazily strolling through the street, the girl had looped her arm through Wonwoo's, slightly leaning onto him as they glanced around.

"I think they sold some pretty pictures here before," he thought out loud as they headed towards the small stalls that were set up on the left side of the street. And just as they arrived, his eyes immediately found what he was looking for. "There it is!"

Nosily, the girl lifted her head, trying to get a glimpse of what was in front of them, but Wonwoo dragged her over.

"Oh my god," she smiled. "They look so good!"

[Admiring artwork carefully]

Together they looked through the small paintings lined up on the very left side of the seller's table. Compared to the other artwork he was presenting, the ones the idols were focused on, were tiny.

"Did he draw all of these?" Wonwoo wondered.

Minnie shrugged. "I guess so. They look handpainted." With a closer look, you were able to see each clear brush stroke that made the paintings only look even more alive than they already did.

"Oh, look!" The female member pointed at the back of the table. "Magnets." Originally, the two had planned to buy small souvenirs like that, thinking of putting them up on their fridge to make their new place look more lived in, but at that moment, as they were surrounded by beautiful artwork left and right, the choice became harder than they had originally thought it would be.

Still, they agreed magnets would make the most sense, so they settled on buying some of them along with one tiny landscape painting they couldn't take their eyes off of - where they would put it was a conversation for another time.

-

After enough time roaming the streets for a good while more, they found themselves back at the plaza again. The NANA Tour producers had gone ahead and secured a big table at one of the restaurants. They were slowly gathering the members one by one once they passed them, leading them towards the seating area where Wonwoo and Minnie were already chatting with the other producers, passing the time while waiting.

"Oooh," Jeonghan called out as his eyes found the two younger members. "You really did go shopping," he commented on the plastic bag the rapper was holding.

With her arms crossed, the girl glanced at the '95 Liner. "I told you he called me so we could look at souvenirs."

But he just shrugged. "I don't know, maybe you lied to me."

[Trust issues]

"Why would I lie to you about that?" She chuckled, only getting a cheeky grin and a wiggle of his eyebrows in return, which made her shake her head and turn her attention back to Hyojung, who was already laughing at their antics.

Settling down at the massive table they had booked for every Seventeen and NANA Tour member, Wonwoo started to proudly show off the trinkets he and Minnie had chosen to guy. She had just come back and was about to take a seat on the chair nearest her, right next to Dokyeom, who was sitting opposite Wonwoo, when the '97 Liner suddenly jumped up.

"Do you want to sit here?" He asked the girl, who just glanced at him in surprise.

She shook her head, motioning for him to sit back down again. "No, no, it's okay." Assuring him with a quick smile. He pulled the chair out for her, his eyes trained on her, only leaving her frame once she had properly sat down.

[The gentleman is back]

"Did you order yet?" She wondered, getting a 'yes' in return and before she was able to open her mouth again, DK continued,

"Just sodas. They're over there." Pointing at the variety of cans. Minnie didn't have to ask as he was already handing her a Coke Zero. Appreciatively with a grin, she took it and emptied it into the glass at her seat.

"Has Myungho not come yet?" Na PD asked into the round, making every member look around the table only to find no sight of the '97 Liner.

To Minnie's right, Jun was quick with the answer. "Myungho, Mingyu, and Woozi are over there still drinking!" Stretching his arm behind him to point at where the trio was enjoying another round of wine.

"Oh God," the female member chuckled as she glanced at them.

-

Suddenly, DK sighed.

Minnie's ears immediately perked up. "What?"

"I'm kinda disappointed," he admitted. "I only drank like five glasses."

From a little further down the table, Dino caught the disappointment.

"Guys," he called out, making both '97 Liners' heads turn. "Do you want to go one more round?"

The girl chuckled at the excitement coming from the youngest, ready to shake her head, but Dokyeom was already out of his seat.

"Are you not coming?" The vocalist looked down at the girl, who caught his gaze with expecting eyes.

"Are you really going?" Quickly changing her focus to the maknae who was already on his feet, wine glass tight in his grip.

"Of course," DK's smile beamed at her. "Come on." Nudging for her to follow them.

Once she didn't immediately react, he took a step closer to her, getting a hold of her elbow and pulling her up.

"Dokyeom-ah!" Minnie laughed out loud, not pushing him away, but standing up along with him to leave the table.

[Children, don't let peer pressure influence you]

[This is not a good example]

Now, all the attention was on the leaving trio. Na PD was the first to comment on it. "They're going again!"

"Noona didn't get to taste much, we're gonna show her around some more," the youngest explained, leaving the female idol to look at the rest of the group with wide eyes and a chuckle.

"It wasn't even my idea!"

"We'll be back before the food arrives," Dino promised before pushing the older members along with him, using this as a 'see you later'.

-

Just as they were getting their glasses refilled, familiar voices spoke up from behind them.

"Buongiorno."

Turning around, Minnie found Jun and Joshua, who seemed to have followed them, along with their wine glasses, ready for another round as well.

"OOH," the girl shouted out in excitement, "You too?"

Shua pushed past them to get to the front of the stall as Dokyeom, Minnie, and Dino were already sipping on the next round of wine.

"This here is the best one," the female member admitted, glancing at Jun, who decided to stay a bit behind.

"This is good?" He suddenly asked in English.

She nodded with a big smile decorating her face, "Very good, yes."

"Good, good."

[The alcohol is so good, they had to change languages]

"Here," she handed him her half-filled glass, exchanging it with his empty one.

"Oh- thank you," Jun accepted it, taking a sip right away while the girl continued to look at him, just waiting for his reaction. As soon as his eyebrows shot up, she knew, she was right - it was in fact the best one so far.

"Wow," the '96 Liner breathed out. "It's really good."

"I told you!" Jokingly, she smacked his upper arm.

After she got a refill into his glass as well, the group took a step to the side, each of them enjoying their wine slowly together. In silence, they took sip after sip, letting the background noise fill the silence.

"I'm so happy," Joshua admitted dreamily, his head tilted to the side. With a soft smile, Minnie gazed at him. She had joined him by his side, nudging his arm with her shoulder. "What do I do?"

"Enjoy the moment." She tried to let the scene not pass, closing her eyes to add to the feeling they were trying to create. Just a comforting atmosphere where each member was quietly sipping on their wine, inhaling the fresh, yet slightly damp and cooler Summer night air.

"I think I can drink 30 more glasses here," he admitted, getting a chuckle out of her. "Drunk on this atmosphere..."

With a grin, she interlocked their arms before pulling him ahead and calling out, "Let's go!" Lifting her now empty glass of wine as she was ready for the next one.

[Enthusiastic for more alcohol]

The laughter of the other members drowned out the background noise.

-

"Should we meet up with the others?"

The two had been walking around on their own for a bit when Joshua spotted Woozi, Mingyu, and Minghao, whom they had yet to see in quite a while. As it was slowly getting darker and they could only guess their food was soon to be served, they were on their way back to the restaurant. But wine was such an easy distraction.

"Where are they?" Minnie was looking in a different direction, not seeing Shua lift his glass when he met eyes with Mingyu, who, in return, found the girl before she could catch him. Sneaking up to her, while she was occupied with her re-fill, she didn't notice the massive statue that was suddenly behind her. Only when she started to turn to the side.

"AH-" she jumped in surprised when Mingyu lowered his head to meet her gaze. Minnie welcomed him with a hard punch to his shoulder. "Idiot..."

[SEVENTEEN loves each other]

Ignoring the show of annoyance - even if it wasn't serious - the '97 Liner threw his arm around the girl, pulling her into his side before snatching the glass from her grip.

"Didn't you drink enough already today?" She asked him, a slight teasing undertone to her voice.

The rapper gulped down everything that was inside before glancing down at her again. "Didn't you drink enough already today?"

[Bickering is an act of kindness]

"I didn't even drink that much!" She scoffed, letting herself get pulled towards the restaurant as the rest of the group, now with Minghao and Woozi in tow as well, decided to join the team again.

"But your face is really red," Gyu commented, making Minnie stop for a second, her hands flying up to her cheeks.

"Really?" Only getting a chuckle and a shake of his head in return, making her do the same before they continued their walk towards the reserved table.

-

Stomach filled, in a happy, slightly tipsy, and contained state, Minnie leaned back into her chair, gazing into thin air. A good hour has passed, in which the only thing the idols did was eat. And eat even more. And then drink some more too.

The voices of the members around her were getting quieter as she zoned out, getting pulled back into the presence at the sound of her name being called out by Youngseok.

"Huh?" She glanced up at him.

Na PD chuckled, "Everyone but you is eating so well."

With an almost pained look on her face, she clutched her stomach. "I already ate so much. I promise." And for once, she wasn't lying about it. "I'm really full from the wine."

[Alcohol... is... a meal...?]

"Minnie gets full from drinking quickly," Jeonghan added to her statement.

The producer nodded in understanding. "Did you drink too quickly?"

"I think so. But I feel good, that's all that matters." She grinned brightly. "And I'm happy."

"And you did eat well," Dokyeom commented with a proud smile.

To her right, Minnie found Vernon's head tipped down. Jun had left for the bathroom, giving her a perfect view of the younger rapper.

She turned to Wonwoo, pointing at the '98 Liner. "Is he really sleeping?" Wondering if maybe he had watched him fall into a slumber. Leaning slightly forward, the rapper tried to get a glimpse of the younger's eyes, but he sat back with a shrug.

"I don't know. I don't think so."

Carefully, she reached out, petting his shoulder. "Vernonnie-" He raked himself up and met her eyes immediately. "Oh- I thought you were sleeping."

"No," he chuckled, "But I'm really tired." He let a hand brush over his face, stopping to rub his eyes.

Minnie nodded, "Mm, same..." Knowing as soon as her head would hit a pillow, her eyes would shut and getting up in the morning would be a big challenge. But the quality of sleep would be absolutely worth it.

-

EP3-4. What are you doing?

Back at the AirBnB, some of the members gathered in the living room of the accommodation while waiting for further instructions. They knew the next point on their timetable was a game, yet what game they'd be playing was still a mystery to them.

Minnie found her place on the single stool in the corner between Jeonghan, who was occupying a single yellow chair and Joshua who was sharing the loveseat with Mingyu. Before she had sat down, she took the fan with S.Coups' face on it into her hands, now holding onto it tightly.

[Even when he's so far away, the leader is always close to the members]

Mindlessly, she looked around the room while catching some words from the '95 Liners' conversation.

At 9:30pm the members had separated into different rooms in the house, with Jun, Woozi, and Dokyeom still in the living room. The '97 Liner was singing along to the random tune the producer was playing, making up lyrics on the go. Minnie was listening to them from a few feet away. She had found an empty spot on the floor she could lie on while putting her legs up against the wall. All the alcohol and food had made her feel bloated and from what she remembered her friends once telling her, this was a quick way to get rid of that.

[Just another day in the life of a SEVENTEEN member?]

Wonwoo was coming back out of their room, eyes fixed on the phone in his hand as he walked towards the living room. Getting a glimpse of the girl in his peripheral view made him take a step back and glance down.

"Are you okay?"

Minnie opened her eyes and smiled. "Yep."

"Do you need help getting up?"

"No, I'm good. I'm just gonna lay here for a bit," she just answered, closing her eyes again.

Clearly unfazed by her antics, the rapper nodded. "Okay." Continuing his way into the living room to join Woozi on the left side, only that he sat down on the yellow couch. From the entryway, Na PD watched them with a fond smile, shaking his head when a chuckle fell from his lips.

For a few more seconds, the house was in complete silence other than Woozi and his guitar and Dokyeom's voice filling the ears of the people around them.

"Pumping and my butthole-" he suddenly sang, making the girl sit up and look to her right, watching the others stop in their movements. Even the producer had stopped playing.

The girl chuckled out loud, "What?"

"Why does your butthole come out?" Woozi asked, getting a round of laughter from the members in the room.

"The result of eating six dishes needs to have a result," Dokyeom explained honestly, only afterwards finding the female member who had now stood up but just stopped in the hallway, gazing at him almost disturbed.

"Oh-," he laughed out loud, "I'm sorry, Minnie!"

With a shake of her head, she joined the members, moving towards the side with the couch where Woozi and Wonwoo were sitting.

"It was good up to then," Wonwoo admitted, "and then you ruined it." Letting the girl settle down beside him.

Minnie pulled her legs up, letting them slightly lean onto the rapper's thighs as she sighed and let her head tilt back in exhaustion. Suddenly noticing the empty feeling in her back pocket, she wondered out loud.

"Where's my phone?" Speaking almost too quietly.

[Important for the young generation]

Not looking up from his own, Wonwoo told her, "On the bed. You put it there not too long ago."

"Oh yeah, right...," Her breathy voice was a clear indication of her tired she had become. Or maybe it was just the food and alcohol.

"Minnie's in a food coma right now. She doesn't know what she's doing or saying," Jun joked, making her straighten her head again.

"That's true. I feel so... like I just ate a ten-course meal."

"Did you really eat that much?" He asked her, getting a nod in return. But Wonwoo had a different answer,

"You didn't."

Minnie turned her head towards him. "Yes, I did. I ate enough."

"Enough, but not a lot," he argued.

She scoffed softly, almost rolling her eyes. "That's the same."

[Oh so nice]

"You drank a lot," Dokyeom added to the conversation, making her nod.

"That too," she admitted. "Just a lot all together." And threw her head back again with another grunt.

Only a few moments later, the group was asked to come together in the kitchen downstairs. With heavy steps, Minnie followed the guys, getting surprised by the volume of Wonwoo's loud voice as he called out for the rest.

She joined Vernon and Dino on the right side of the long table in the middle of the room, settling down right between them. The maknae was still carrying the crossbody bag with the 'pocket money' they were given, making her chuckle and point it out to him. The bag had become almost useless as S.Coups had stopped their overseas payment option since they were apparently spending too much money. The revelation made the girl roll her eyes back when they were told this news on the bus earlier. But that didn't mean that they wouldn't get another way of earning some money to spend.

Mingyu was the last to arrive, but once he joined the group, the 'rules' of the game were laid out for them. There were two separate rooms on the second floor where the NANA Tour staff was staying. By playing rock-paper-scissors, the order in which they would enter these rooms was decided. What was waiting for them there, wasn't revealed to them just yet.

Somewhere along the line, it was finally Minnie's turn to go upstairs, coming to sight with the DIY signs displaying 'Room 1' and 'Room 2'. Not leaving herself a long time to think, she went with the first room to her right.

"Ah, hyung!" She immediately found Na PD already waiting for her with a bright but somewhat cheeky smile on his lips.

[Happy to see her favourite producer]

"How are you, Minnie?" He motioned for her to sit down in front of him. "I heard you're playing a game downstairs."

The girl shook her head, her lips curled up in amusement. "I don't understand what they're doing, so I'm glad I called up right now." Her confession got a laugh out of the producer. With Jeonghan's support, DK created a game he called 'Electric Man' as he tried to entertain the other members while they were waiting for everyone to get the final instructions of what they were doing next. What was the premise of his self-made game? No one knew. How was it played? Also, no one really knew.

"Did they tell you what we're doing?"

"Dokyeom said something about missions," she recalled, "but I think it's probably Mafia, right?"

Na PD pointed at the cards that were spread out on the table in front of them. "You can pick a card and find out."

"Why are you making this so mysterious?" She squealed out, glancing over at the cameraman in the corner who just shrugged. Biting down on her lip, Minnie pretended to think for a split second before her hand landed on top of one card.

"Is this a good one?"

"Turn around and find out," Youngseok simply told her, making her huff out while holding back a grin.

"No," she changed her mind, reaching for a different card, "I'll take this one."

"Okay," he simply nodded and gave her the 'okay' to take a look at it.

Flipping it over, so only she could see it first, Minnie read the words on it. With a slight frown on her eyebrows, almost in pain, she looked up again.

"Can I change it?"

"What did you get?"

She showed the card to the producers and then moved it slightly so the camera could get a good shot of it.

'Make a package of Ramen and eat it with a member.'

"I'm really full. I can't eat anything anymore," she whined with a chuckle.

"You have to share it with a member, so they could technically eat more than you," Youngseok tried to compromise, not wanting to torture her by having to eat.

Minnie nodded with a soft sigh. "So I just have to do this?" She wondered, slightly confused by the challenge here.

[Are you sure it's that simple?]

"You have to do this mission and not get caught," he reminded her. The premise of it being able to earn some money for the next day was explained to her. Now suddenly everything made a lot more sense than before. Finishing her mission while also trying to stop others from achieving theirs. Easier said than done in a group of currently 13 people, all of whom are usually very attentive to the ones around them.

Minnie nodded, mostly to herself. "Okay." Grinning up at the producer, who had the same facial expression.

"Good luck," he told her as she was on her way back downstairs.

-

The playing field reached from the basement - including the sauna - up to the first floor where the living room and their individual rooms were, only that those and the outside area were banned from using while trying to finish their missions.

As soon as the producers gave them the 'go', the members jumped up from their seats. Minnie and Jeonghan were the only ones who decided to stay seated, knowing if they went ahead right away, there was a good chance, they'd fail.

Dokyeom filled the room with his singing, making Joshua suddenly join in while Vernon just stood on the side, glancing at him with an unreadable facial expression. Minnie's eyes fell on him. Feeling her gaze on him, he turned towards her, giving her the same look.

"What?" She asked him. "What's going on?" Still not knowing why he had stopped in his tracks.

"I'm out," he chuckled.

Her eyes widened immediately. "Already?! What happened?" But he just shook his head and went to find one of the producers to ask for further instructions. He didn't even last a second.

The female member decided to glance around, trying to find some suspicious behaviour. With all the turmoil, it was hard to tell. Most of the members were just walking around, trying to entertain themselves, or at least it seemed like that.

The loud voices coming from the kitchen caught her attention, but what made her stop and stare was Dokyeom who had fished out a Ramen package and looked like he was about to make it. Quick on her feet, she rushed over to the producers, trying to find Na PD.

"Hyung!" He turned around when she called out for him. "What if I also make the Ramen with a member and then eat it together?"

But he shook his head. "You have to make it on your own and then share it."

[Rules are strict]

Minnie pressed her lips together and muttered a quiet, "Okay," before strolling over to the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" She asked her fellow '97 Liner as if she couldn't see it.

"Ramen," he showed her the package. "Do you want some too?"

"No, thank you, I'll make my own." She simply said, about to brush past him, when his voice stopped her.

"Didn't you say you were full from earlier?" True to his attentive self Minnie could curse at that very moment.

[Very attentive members]

"Yeah...," she trailed off. "But there's always room for Ramen."

"True," he shrugged and moved on.

Out of the same cupboard as him, Minnie got a package out and joined him by the kitchen island. Some of the members had found Dokyeom's act of cooking suspicious but now that the girl was technically just joining him, no one was questioning her. Almost no one.

While she was looking around for some vegetables and other things she could add, her eyes found Mingyu, who was currently filling a metal bowl with sugar.

"What are you doing?" She eyes him suspiciously, sending him a grin. His reaction told her everything she needed to know. The rapper snatched the bowl off the counter and tried to hide it behind him.

"Leave it!"

"Wh- I was just asking!" She argued back, not able to hold back her laughter. He most definitely wasn't one of the good liars of the group. Mindlessly, he put the bowl back, focusing on what she was holding, which was a carton of eggs. Eggs that he would need.

"What are you doing with them?"

Her lips curled up into a wicked grin. "Why?" She raised her eyebrows provokingly. "Do you need them?"

Mingyu tried to reach for them, but for once her reflexes were quick enough to dodge out of the way.

"Ha ha!" She threw at him before taking a few steps back. Thanks to his height and much longer limbs, it didn't take long for him to catch up to her, framing Minnie in the kitchen corner. She held the carton far away from him, almost leaning backwards against the counter.

"Tell me what you need them for."

"No," he argued. "Just give me a few and you can have the rest."

Before she could snap back at him, Dokyeom's voice rang through the room. "Has anyone seen the eggs?" Distracted by the question, Minnie's grip slightly lightened, giving Mingyu the perfect opportunity to snatch them out of her hands easily.

"HEY!" She jogged after him, ready to fight, but he suddenly put them back on the counter, now focused on Joshua, who was walking away from the kitchen, taking the bowl of sugar with him.

"Hyung!" Mingyu called out as he went after him.

Without wasting another moment, Minnie took the eggs and brought them back to where she would need them.

In the background, the '97 Liner was still fighting for his bowl with one of the older members, who was very keen on not giving it back. That's when Mingyu's patience snapped, making a shout out to him, using words most definitely not appropriate for TV.

Minnie gasped out loud. "Mingyu just cursed!" She pointed at him, eyeing the producer, who just started laughing on the other end of the room.

[Calling out bad behaviour]

"Hey! Why are you cursing?" Dokyeom, who was still next to her, jumped into the conversation, ending the question by dragging it out and creating another melody. His antics got a chuckle out of the girl and Joshua, who was still running from Mingyu, who would not stop chasing him.

"Dokyeom and Minnie are making Ramen, stop them first!" The '97 Liner tried to convert the attention of his fellow members, who glanced up at him with big eyes.

"Don't drag us into your *shit*!" The girl argued, immediately getting a soft punch to her upper arm.

[Minnie said some pretty words we had to bleep out]

"You can't curse either," DK chuckled when he noticed that the girl had only just realised what she had said. A hand immediately flew up to cover her mouth.

"Now look at you, you punk!" Mingyu pointed a strict finger at her. "You're cursing too!"

[Nice words from a nice member]

"And look who I got it from!" Coyping his stance periodically.

In the meantime, Joshua strutted over to the kitchen island, motivated by the words of the younger rapper to investigate what the two '97 Liners were doing. Snatching it right out of Minnie's hands, Shua grabbed the uncooked noodles and walked away.

"YA!" The girl shouted after him, taking off in a jog to catch up with him.

"Ey, hyung!" Dokyeom continued. "Why are you taking out ramyeon? We want to eat it."

"Why are you cooking it all of a sudden?" The '95 Liner looked at the younger members expectedly while the girl was desperately trying to get a hold of her food from his hands. But damn his quick reflexes. "Do you have a mission together?" With a hand on her shoulder, Joshua made Minnie stop.

With a pained facial expression, she whined at him, "What are you talking about?! How could we have the same mission when we went to the rooms separately! I don't even know what his mission is, I just wanted to eat this because I saw it and felt like it!" Her cries seemed to make him buckle as he put his arms down and placed the noodles back on the countertop.

Swiftly, they were able to move around the kitchen, Minnie grabbing her own pot to fill with water finally and heat it up by the stove.

Suddenly, Mingyu's groans filled the room.

"What did you do?" She glanced to her left, watching him pick the bowl back out of the sink where it had fallen into.

"Nothing, nothing," he quickly brushed it off and went to continue, but the girl blocked his way. "Minnie-ya," he hissed at her. "Move."

She shook her head. "What are you doing? Is it your mission?"

"Shut up," he rolled his eyes with a chuckle and gently pushed her to the side, making her giggle. Dokyeom sneaked a quick look at the two, laughing at the duo.

"Mingyu is really suspicious about the bowl," he commented.

Minnie nodded in agreement, "We have to stop him," her eyes not leaving his form as he moved around the room. As soon as DK tried to get the stove to work, her attention was back to what was in front of her. Since it worked with gas rather than with electricity, the members faced their next challenge.

"Wait," Minnie told him. "Raise the flame," she motioned for him to move to the side slightly so she could change the strength with one of the regulators. Just as a small flame let itself be seen, Mingyu passed them. With a quick blow to the stove, the fire got extinguished and the other two '97 Liners were back to the start.

"You f-" The girl lifted her hand, ready to curse at the rapper, but already knowing her well enough, he caught her arm mid-air.

"Don't curse," he grinned at her, making her only even more annoyed.

[He's doing our job, thank you <3]

She pushed him away. "Leave us alone," whining out loud seemed to entertain the other members as Dino's laughter rang through their ears.

"What are you guys doing?" He stopped by her side, his arms wrapping around her waist as he pulled her in closer to let his chin rest on her shoulder.

"Mingyu's being mean." Her pout got an eye-roll from the man in question and another chuckle from the maknae while DK was still focused on getting the stove to work.

"I can't do it!" He called out in disappointment, making the two younger members turn around while holding onto each other - Dino was clearly not thinking of letting go that soon. Minnie patted his back and brought him with her as she got to work on her portion of Ramen noodles. Easier said than done when suddenly the two packages they had opened had disappeared into thin air.

"Huh?!" The female member looked stunned at where they were last seen. "Didn't we...," she thought out loud, glancing around in confusion. "Dokyeom, where did you put the Ramen?"

"Right there," he pointed at the now completely empty space on the counter. "Where's it gone?"

"Mingyu!" The girl spat at her fellow '97 Liner, who stood a few feet away from them. His head shot up, meeting her furious eyes.

"What? I didn't do anything!" He immediately stated.

"Don't lie! Where did you put it?"

"W- I didn't do it! What even are you talking about?" Completely stunned, he held her gaze.

Dokyeom's hand reached out to touch his arm. "Hyung, you're a really bad liar."

Mingyu scoffed with an eye roll. "But I'm not lying."

"You're annoying!"

"I didn't do anything!"

"Liar!" Minnie and Mingyu went back and forth, completely ignoring what the other members around them were doing.

[A normal day for SEVENTEEN]

Woozi and Jeonghan were still walking around the space, having a fight of their own, Dokyeom was nowhere to be seen and Joshua seemed to have been minding his own business.

"Guys!" Suddenly Minghao's voice rang through the room. "I'm done!"

In surprise, everyone's eyes fell on him. He had just come out of the left corner of the room, clearly dripping wet with his hair slicked back and a towel thrown over his shoulder.

"What did you have to do?" Minnie asked.

Mingyu took a different guess. "Did you have to wash your hair?"

"No, I'm done if I go into the sauna," Hao enlightened them. A round of 'aah' came from the members in return.

-

"Seungkwan is supposed to do Calligraphy!" Hoshi came sprinting down the stairs, bursting into the kitchen, interrupting another argument that had broken out between Mingyu and Minnie as she tried to get the bowl out of his tight grip. The interruption made her loosen her grip, and he was able to pull away, making her stumble back slightly, only for him to reach out and catch her arm, steadying her.

"Calligraphy?" She asked again, getting a nod from the '96 Liner who was still chuckling.

"Wonwoo's trying to take his stuff away and hide it." And just the mere imagination of that picture got all of the members in the room to laugh. Some wanted to see it with their own eyes and rushed up the stairs, leaving the kitchen fairly empty. Out of the corner of her eye, Minnie saw something colourful peek out from the shelf. Taking a step closer, she found the Ramen packages she had been looking for underneath a cake bell. Not even caring about who had put it there, she took the quiet time to get them back and head over into the kitchen, even forgetting about Mingyu who was moving around the room to find a moment of peace to finish his own mission.

[The mission might have been too easy]

Standing by the stove, water boiling and noodles cooking, Jeonghan and Woozi suddenly joined her. Secretively, they moved into the corner of the kitchen. As they spoke in hushed tones, the girl had a hard time catching what they were saying, but she was able to make out an important part.

"This is kind of vague, so I will protect you," he promised the group's producer.

"You're protecting him of what? Huh?" Minnie glanced over, her eyebrows raised with a smirk playing on her lips. "What are you guys doing?"

"Should I help you too?" Jeonghan's sudden question made her frown.

She shook her head. "I don't trust you."

[Hurtful words]

Right at that moment, Joshua came back, passing the girl and heading towards the two other members.

"They're being weird!" Minnie pointed out, only making him even more suspicious than he already was. With Shua's attention now on the older members, she was able to concentrate back on the noodles in front of her. She added the soup package and cracked an egg into the middle. Focusing on her own task at hand, she blended out most of what was happening around her. Dokyeom had been chasing Mingyu around the room. Only when the rapper's moans of pain and clanking of metal erupted did she turn around to take a look.

"What happened?" Her eyes were trained on him now limping towards the kitchen. "What did you do?" Taking a step closer she reached out to where Mingyu was clutching his knee, hunched over, clearly hurting from what had just happened.

"Be careful," she somewhat hissed at him while Dokyeom continued to worry, with a soft laugh lacing his voice.

"Are you okay?" But the answer to his question came quick when Mingyu suddenly took off in a sprint to the other side of the room with DK hot in his tracks, leaving the girl, once again, alone. Shrugging and with a deep breath, she went back to the stove, deciding to ignore the rest of their antics.

"Minnie," Woozi's voice made ears perk up.

"Huh?" She turned towards him, finding him with the screen of his phone facing her. With a few steps closer, he stopped right next to her.

"Do you want to say 'hi' to Carats?"

"To Carats?" Her focus was still on the pot in front of her, she didn't realise that she would be seeing herself on his screen as he was currently doing a livestream on Weverse.

"I'm live right now," he explained.

"Huh?" Confused she glanced over, surprising herself by watching her face stare right back at her. "Oh- hello everyone!" She leaned in closer, waving to the camera with a big smile. "Was that your mission?" She asked before another realisation hit her. Quickly, she covered the camera. "Are they even allowed to see this?"

With a chuckle, Woozi pushed her hand away, so the fans could see them again.

"If I'm supposed to do it, of course, they can see us."

Minnie sent another smile at them, "Hiii."

As soon as Hoshi came in closer, the group's producer asked him if he would want to be in the frame as well, now moving the phone to film him and away from the female member.

-

To see if it was finally done, Minnie grabbed a pair of wooden chopsticks they had gotten from the producers, dipping them into the pot and gathering some of the noodles. After a quick few blows, she got to taste them, nodding to herself happily. Just when she thought, she'd finally be done and could get to eating them and finishing her mission, Dokyeom came back again.

"Minnie, how did you turn on the stove?" With a lighter in his hand, he was clearly struggling, not knowing the next thing about a gas stove. Quickly, she helped him, not even thinking about this being a possible mission of his since it was hers already, she left him in the kitchen and moved over to the dining table. Minghao had followed her, claiming the seat next to her.

"Is this your mission?" He quietly asked her, keeping his voice low enough so no other member could hear them. With her lips pressed together, she looked at him, shaking her head. But Minghao chuckled, seeing right through her.

"Please," she whined. "Here, you can have some. Just please let me do this in peace." She held up the chopsticks with enough noodles for him to slurp and pushed the pot closer to him.

He leaned in, but before opening his mouth, he stopped for a second but decided to just take it, not in the mood to ruin this for her.

-

Hoshi had come down the stairs into the kitchen, seeing Minnie by the table, still painfully trying to finish the pot of Ramen while the two '95 Liners and Dokyeom were occupied by the stove.

"Is everyone already out?"

"Huh?" Jeonghan looked at him confused, "No, Minnie's still doing hers and Dokyeom too."

"Minnie?" The '96 Liner turned towards the girl, sitting down opposite of her with a big grin on his lips. "Is this your mission?"

She decided not to say anything but just nodded.

Slowly but surely, Hoshi reached out, obviously trying to pull the pot towards him. It didn't take long for the female member to catch onto his action.

"Just take it." She brushed it off. "I can't anymore, I'm so full." Minnie let herself fall into the chair with a heavy breath.

"Really? Just like that?" He wondered, taking the chopstick between his fingers.

The girl nodded. "I wanted to finish it, but I can't. I don't care."

[Smart]

Not caring much about the truth behind her words, Hoshi dug into the rest of the meal, while Minnie was biting down on her lip. Holding back her grin about the fact that she had just managed to achieve her secret mission without anyone knowing and with Hoshi believing she had given up that easily.

Looking around the room, her hands on top of her stomach, she noticed something.

"Has anyone seen Mingyu?" Only getting a shrug in return from the member sitting across from her while the other three were talking too loud amongst themselves to hear her. Remembering the last place she had seen him run off to, she decided to take a chance and go look for him.

In the left corner of the room was another door leading to what she had yet to discover, only knowing that Minghao came back from exactly there, soaking wet.

Pushing it open, she came to sight of the small pool right in front of her.

"Woah-" Movement out of the corner of her eye made her stop and turn her head. "What are you doing?" Watching Mingyu crouched down on the floor, the bowl tight in his grip and a whisk in the other hand. She chuckled at the sight while he just begged her to keep quiet.

"Finishing my mission," he explained to her.

"But what is it?" She took a step closer to look into the bowl, frowning at whatever was inside of it.

"I have to make a meringue."

"Meringue?" She repeated, unsure if she understood him correctly. "The stuff that goes into macarons?" He nodded his head quickly.

In the meantime, the door had opened again, letting Jeonghan in, who found them immediately. He didn't even have to ask what they were doing.

"He has to make meringue," Minnie let him know, taking a step to the side to let him fully in. As they both just stood there watching Mingyu whisk hastily, the girl felt a finger poke her side. She glanced down, but right up again, seeing the oldest member nudge his head towards the pool. A wide smirk spread on her lips, but she didn't need to be told twice. Watching the rapper intensively, she could tell how focused he was, not even noticing as she got closer again, now with some water in the cup she created with her hands. With a quick motion, she managed to dunk some of the water into the bowl before Mingyu could even realise it and pull it away.

"YA!" He shouted out, pushing her back. Not able to react quick enough, Minnie didn't get away far enough as he leaned forward, putting his arm into the water and splashing it right at her, only with much more force and amount.

"STOP, YOU-"

[At this point, we'd like the remind Carats and viewers that SEVENTEEN truly loves each other]

She shouted, giggling as she tried to get away, but bumped into Jeonghan. He switched positions with her, now copying Mingyu to throw some of the water on him. He repeated it while the rapper just stood in the corner, hoping to somewhat shield his bowl. Deciding he was drenched enough, the older member moved to the side while the '97 Liner got back to the water, ready to splash it back at the mischievous duo.

With a loud chuckle, Minnie took a few steps forward and just started to do the same, sudden laughter from her and the '95 Liner filling the room while Mingyu was still grunting in annoyance. From the other side of the pool, Jeonghan tried to help Minnie, splatter even more water onto the younger member.

"Mingyu, do you think you'll be able to make Meringue?" Giggling along with his words while the girl tried to contain her laughter.

Once they noticed he had officially given up by the way his shoulder sunk down, the splashing stopped.

"Ah, guys..." Mingyu sighed out loud. With a sweet chuckle, Minnie got closer to him, throwing her hands around his waist to hug him from behind. He turned around, making her loosen her grip and take a step back when he sat down the bowl, thinking he would just take a short second of peace. But before they could even blink, Mingyu put the bowl into the water, throwing the much bigger amount of water right at her before dipping it in again and making Jeonghan his second victim. Her screech could probably even be heard from next door.

"MINGYU!"

Minnie rubbed her eyes, not even thinking about her hair at the moment that was probably sticking to her forehead and all over the place, making her look like a wet puppy. The rapper managed to push past them while Jeonghan snatched the bowl into his own hands, filling it up and waiting behind the door that Mingyu was holding onto tightly from the other side of it. Getting it to open just slightly the oldest member threw the water out, not even looking if it would hit him directly - that just happened out of pure luck, making the duo laugh out loud.

[Fun day at the indoor waterpark]

Minnie opened the door fully, now revealing a fully drenched Mingyu in front of her, but she wasn't looking much drier either. He sighed heavily while the girl continued to giggle, following him back into the kitchen, where wide eyes were waiting for them.

"What?" Woozi couldn't stop looking at the three fully submerged in water as if they had just gone swimming with their clothes on.

Mingyu glanced behind him at the girl who was cheekily looking at him.

"Careful." He pointed at her shirt before heading further into the kitchen. Glancing down at her shirt, Minnie realised her white top had turned quite sheer. With her fingers, she managed to get it from sticking too tightly onto her body as she continued to go upstairs to change.

On their way up, Hoshi came from the other direction, stopping to look at her and Jeonghan, who trailed behind.

"What did you do?"

"Making Mingyu fail," the older member giggled, making the girl chuckle.

Wonwoo stood up at the sound of their laughter, putting the guitar he had been clinging onto back on the couch.

"Mingyu's out?" He wondered, getting a nod from the girl and a verbal confirmation from Jeonghan in return.

"Good job, guys." His smile made theirs only widen. Then, he suddenly came to sight with the state of their clothes.

"Wh- Guys!" He chuckled, pointing at Jeonghan and stopping the girl by putting his hand on her elbow. "You did this to make Mingyu fail?"

"Yeah," Minnie told him excitedly.

"Wait-," the maknae looked at them with big eyes. "What did you do?"

"We put water into his meringue," Jeonghan explained.

"He told me to do it!" The female member excused herself by pointing at the older member, getting the infamous 'hehe' out of him. She headed over to her own room, ready to change as she wanted to stop clutching onto her shirt to not let every camera catch just how see-through it had gotten.

Taglist: @waosobii @chaebb @lunarxsun @hoe4wonwoo @kimhyejin3108 @soobzao @billboard-singer @cosmicwintr @zwiehe @alixnsuperstxr @angie-x3 @smooore @allthings-fandoms @lllucere @iamawkwardandshy

[lowkeycasanova]

baby it's hot out here

sanji x f!reader

plot: sanji seeing you innocently suck on a popsicle gives him inappropriate thoughts

warning: smut (18+)

It was hot.

Brutally hot.

The weather in the New World was unpredictable. From boulder sized hail, lighting rain, and now scorching rays. The relentless sun beat down on the Thousand Sunny. The air felt thick and stifling, as if nature conspired to make taking each breath a conscious effort.

The cool breeze of the ocean seemed to have abandoned the ship, leaving you all subject to the oppressive heat.

Amidst the sweltering conditions, everyone sought refuge where they could find it.

Luffy was sprawled out on the deck, his hat covering his face. Zoro was in the shadow of the ship's mast, still practicing his swordsmanship with beads of sweat running down his face, with Franky and Brook sitting close by. Usopp leaning over the edge of the ship in an attempt to catch whatever breeze was sent his way.

You, Nami, Robin, and Chopper, who diligently tried to cool himself with a handheld fan, laid in the shadows on the deckchairs.

"It's so hot, I'm sweating cola." Franky announces.

"You know," you heard Brook say as he flexed his arm and leaned on it like a pillar for support. "If you pretend it's a sauna, it's actually not so bad."

Sanji was in the kitchen, determined to whip up a refreshing drink for you ladies. Everyone else can get their own.

Bringing the drinks out, he makes his way over to you, Nami, and Robin, leaning down like a gentleman, offering the glasses.

"Thank you Sanji." Robin says politely and his heart skips a beat.

Nami takes one as she continues to examine her log pose.

"Thanks but, can I get one of those popsicles we just got?" You asked him, lifting up your sunglasses. It was at the last island the crew was at where you were gifted with a bag of these treats called popsicles that you never had before and had the desire to try.

"Of course, love. Anything you want." He replied with a suave grin. He made his way back to the kitchen, pulling out the bag from the freezer, ready to present it to you in a flourish.

You squeal in delight as you rummage through the assortment, Sanji watching with a lazy grin. You waste no time tearing the plastic wrap off a blue raspberry flavored one, bringing it to your lips. And it's so hot that it seemingly starts to melt already.

Sanji eyes a cherry one, but decides against taking it. He didn't need the sugar.

He puts the rest back in the freezer and walks back out on the deck with his own glass of ice water. He momentarily takes his cigarette out of his mouth to take a sip of water and he glances back at the beautiful ladies laid out adjacent from him.

Right then, you hold the treat in your mouth, as you take of your shirt, leaving you clad in a bikini top and shorts, leaving little to the imagination.

That alone would send Sanji over the edge, but now paired with the fact that your lips are stretched around the popsicle, sinking lower to the base and back up again, eyes fluttering closed.

His eyes go wide and his throat dry. He watches you slowly pull back off it, a sweet hum coming from your mouth and the wet noise pierces his ears.

His mind is going crazy. His cock is getting hard. Your eyes are closed and Sanji knows it's in part because it's hot and because you're enjoying the sweet treat, but part of him wonders if that's what you'd look like after getting fucked by him.

He tries to shake the thoughts away. He can't have one of his episodes right now. But the more he thinks, the more he can see it play out.

Him sitting on the bed, you kneeling down on the floor in front of him while you suck him off.

He's brought back to reality. You're in conversation with Nami, laughing at something she said, while using your tongue sweep over the length of the popsicle. Then using your thump to wipe away some of the stickiness from your lips.

Sanji was hanging by a thread. He abruptly sticks the cigarette back in his mouth and storms off, ignoring Franky's call.

"What's the matter bro?"

Luffy lifts his hat up and shrugs. "Maybe he has a stomach ache."

His cock gets harder with every step he takes. Making a beeline for the bathroom, he rushes in and immediately locks the door. He undos his belt, tugs his pants down, and frees the part of his shirt that was tucked in.

His back is pressed against the wall, head thrown back. His chest heaves with heavy breaths as he squeezes his length. He feels the pangs of a sinful conscious. Nami would punch him into next week if she found out that he had gotten off to the thought of you like this.

Maybe that's what makes it more exhilarating.

His eyes flutter closed and the cig is long gone. It must have fell out when he was coming here. But no matter. His thumbs his tip, spreading his arousal over himself.

"Fuck, love." he breathes. He can see it now. You on your knees with your delicate little hand around his throbbing dick. He feels himself spasm in his hand.

A groan escapes his mouth as his clenched fist begins to move up and down his thick shaft.

He imagines you wrapping your mouth around him. The soft feeling of your cheeks as his tip nudges that little dangly thing in the back of your throat. "Yes, mhm, take it. Such a good girl." he sighs. "Keep sucking for me, just like that. You know how to do it."

His knees are shaking and his dick is throbbing and leaking. He's soaked from his own arousal but so badly wants it to be from your own.

Your pussy. Oh god.

Now he can't stop picturing your swollen lips and pulsing clit. His imagination will be the death of him. The idea of you laying back for him, propping yourself up on your elbows so you can see him, and spreading your thighs.

He gets comfortable and puts a finger in between your soft folds. You're dripping for him. Him.

His hand picks up the pace and feels this tingly sensation in his stomach.

He slaps his tip against your clit a few times. That makes you arch your back as he pushes his way in. The feeling of being stretched makes your walls tighten. He gulps, trying to compose himself. "So fucking tight."

Your pussy squelches with every thrust, breasts are bouncing and nipples erect. You're desperate, begging him for more.

The veins in his head and the muscles in his neck pop. He's a grunting mess. Gritting his teeth, using the stamia he has left to focus. He is too far gone to tease himself.

He now sees you still laying on your back, but you're giving him a handjob. Milking him for all he's got.

"Ugh, fuck!" he cried out, slamming his back against the wall as he cums. It's thick and white and he imagines cumming all over your chest. But in reality, the sticky arousal is all over his hand.

His cock softens in his hand and he breathes to try to calm down. Sanji takes a look at the mess he made, letting out a blissed, fucked out laugh, not even trying to hide the smile on his face.

[brynnterpretations]

Where Damage Isn’t Already Done

Victoria Neuman x Wife!Reader

The worst thing about it is the coffee.

⌗ fluff ⌗ fix-it ⌗ short-fic ⌗ title from "where damage isn't already done" by the radio dept.

Contains spoilers for The Boys, Season 4, Episode 8. Please do not click read more unless you have watched it.

You and Vic had talked about what your dream home with each other would be even when you first started dating. It was therapeutic, you supposed; considering you met each other at a Vought gala, you knew that you wouldn’t be very normal, nor would your relationship. Even if you somehow got everything you wanted — Vic as President, you practicing law, conflict of interest only in the bedroom — there was no such thing as retiring. Or relaxing, really. So, you talked about it. Vic wanted a beautiful home in Big Sur, overlooking the ocean, with an easy route down for Zoe to play, or maybe a Roman villa in the heart of the Spanish countryside, surrounded by sheep and farm animals — you’d be the ones taking care of them, though, Vic did not do farm animals. Certainly, it wasn’t this.

“Where is this, even?” asked Zoe. Honestly, neither you nor Vic really knew outside of being somewhere in the southwest, where even the bison looked miserable. You took another glance at your new ID on the table, your fake name and fake smile staring back at you. Despite you three being on strict orders from the CIA and the entirety of the Boys coup to never leave the house — thank God they’d given you basic living essentials — they’d still given you IDs just in case.

You sat down at the table. Victoria flipped through Zoe’s homework assignment, taken from a homeschooling book Hughie was kind enough to give to you all considering you weren’t permitted to use Internet, before passing it to you. You snorted quietly once you took a glance; it was English, a weak spot for Vic, considering her aversion to anything impractical. You doubted she wanted to hear anymore about Moby Dick than she’d probably already heard years ago. “Well, the thing they stressed was where we’re not.” 

Zoe made a sour face, but when Victoria pressed a kiss to her forehead, it dissolved. She passed you a cup of coffee and sat at the table. “How’s the book?”

“Fine,” shrugged Zoe. “It’s easy.”

Looking over Zoe’s essay, you could tell she’s telling the truth. “This is great, Zoe.”

“Thanks,” smiled Zoe. She ate her Cheerios with a bit more enthusiasm. You all were still getting used to not having fresh-cooked food. You took a look at the coffee. Truthfully, you and Vic had become huge coffee snobs after you came across the term “third-wave coffee” on Twitter, and as you looked into its inky depths, you tried to forget about Café Integral and Third Rail. Do not think of a rosemary espresso tonic right now. Do not think of a rosemary espresso tonic right now. 

“Oh, Jesus,” she said suddenly, spitting out her coffee. “I don’t think there’s even any coffee in this.” 

You looked over at Victoria, who was dressed in an argyle sweater, slacks, and fuzzy socks that you’d gifted her for Christmas, even though neither of you celebrated. It wasn’t often you didn’t see her in her power gear or without makeup, and she looked younger. Better. It would be stupid to think that it made her look carefree — you all were boiling with tension, terrified of laser beams blasting through the creaky, deteriorating front door — but it certainly made it feel different. As if, after you and Vic had bled and fought only to end up where you started again in New York City, you were finally somewhere that would bring different results.

“I’ll get you some water,” you said, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

Maybe you weren't in a vista house or beside beautiful oceans or even in a place that had good coffee, but as Zoe and Vic began bickering over Moby Dick, you couldn't imagine why that would ever matter.

[gay-dorito-dust]

HII!! CAN U DO A PAVITR PRABHAKAR X READER WHERE THEY SHARE THEIR FIRST KISS (OR READERS FIRST KISS, WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!) AKISISSJSJ IDK WHAT TO REQUEST CAUSE ITS MY FIRST REQUEST LMFAO - 🧑🏽‍🔧

I hope this wasn’t absolute arse as I started like some of this late in the night so there are probs inconsistencies.

‘It’s so obvious that they like each other but due to their assumptions that the other will reject them, they look for the same love in other people, only to be drawn back together because there’s no one who could love them quite like them.’ Pavitr said from your side as you both were indulging in some much needed free time by catching up on episodes of a recent show that you’ve missed. It was a great way to pass the time when nothing else of interest seemed to entice you, plus it was made even better when you got to spend it with Pavitr and his commentary regarding the love interests that you’ve grown to find endearing overtime.

‘We’ve seen this trope happen so many times in the other shows we’ve watched before this.’ You replied, looking over at him, knowing wholeheartedly that you’ve just provoked the preverbal bear, but that didn’t matter as to hear Pavitr speak passionately about something he felt so deeply made you admire him in ways you didn’t know you could.

‘It’s a fail proof formula that wins out every time!’ Pavitr exclaims before sighing dreamily as his mind began to wander amidst his many thoughts, ‘besides who doesn’t want to experience a love like that? a love that your willing to go through trial and tribulation for because you could never truly give your heart to someone else when they had their name carved into the very essence of your being by just smiling, by just being unapologetically them in all their flaws.’ Pavitr stopped midway through his speech to smile softly to himself when imagines of you popped in the forefront of his mind, it made him feel nostalgic and in a way it made him miss your presence despite you being right next to him.

Pavitr was a romantic at heart and so too did he naturally speak from it also, but due to the fact that you were just really good friends made him a little hesitant in pursuing you under the pretences that you didn’t feel the same way that he had for while now. Pavitr knew he couldn’t control his heart the moment it began picking up it’s pace within your presence, only to gradually pick up even more with the slightest things you did that he adored or moved in closer proximity to him to the point he thought he was going to pass out; fortunately for Pavitr he didn’t, sitting on elevated structures was dangerous enough but sitting on elevated structures whilst on the verge of potentially passing out wouldn’t have made for a great combination.

Despite experiencing the universal fear of rejection, it never truly stopped Pavitr from being close to you as humanly possible. After all you’re his best friend first and he’d be damned to let his romantic attachment and his fear create a rift between you two, which is why the now tradition of binge watching dramas was created for it gave him the opportunity to spend time with you; being Spider-man was amazing in and of it’s own but what wasn’t amazing was the fact that he wasn’t given as much time with you as he wanted, Mumbattan needed it’s hero but he, Pavitr Prabhakar, not Spider-Man, needed you more.

‘It’s a love many people desire but don’t have willpower to go through with as it tends to possess the ability to overwhelm them and become suffocating but it shouldn’t be that way when you’re in love.’ He explained and you listened intently to every word that fell from his lips that you’ve been transfixed on for the majority of his speech. ‘Love is an all encompassing force that can make you feel a multitude of emotions but you know when a love is right when they make you feel as though you can do anything, be anything, become anything with unbiased judgment. Real love is accepting that they are human and are bound by mistakes, real love is being the others hero but most of all real love is just two souls growing a deeper affection for humanity’s inner beauty.’ He finished, looking at you with a smile.

‘That was beautiful Pavitr.’ You tell him, ‘I know your a sucker for romance but that was especially impassioned,’ you nudged his arm in an act of playful banter despite hearing the sound of your heart breaking over having lost the boy you liked who wasn’t yours to have feelings for because like he said you could never truly give your heart to someone else when they had their name carved into the very essence of your being. ‘So…who’s the lucky person that’s made your heart sing like a canary?’ You mentally applauded yourself for being able to made it through that entire sentence without cracking from under the inevitable heartbreak you were about to experience.

Pavitr, ever the opportunist, saw the chance to admit his hearts deepest desire, sure the setting could’ve been a little better that what he had in mind but Pavitr was willing to work with whatever he was given to his advantage. So he grabbed ahold of your hands and given them a tight, comforting squeeze as he made sure to keep eye contact with you when he said his next words over the sound of his racing heart; ‘it’s you, you taught me how beautifully terrifying love can be when in the face of rejection but once upon a time you told me that it’s better to have tried then to have never have tried at all.’ You did in fact remember telling him that when he once asked you what he should do if he ever developed a crush and wanted to ask them out, which at the time only slightly stung in comparison to the overwhelmingly excruciating pain of self deprivation along with ever other human emotion attacking your sense.

Despite the verbal confirmation, you still were in a state of doubt and insecurity that it made it hard for you to believe the reality of his words no matter how hard your heart was telling you to. ‘Why me though? I’m not that special.’ Is your response and the way Pavitr’s face seemed to drop only made your fears all the more real, here he was bearing his heart out to you in a way that you could’ve only conjured up in your dreams and yet you still had to find some way to ruin it by doubting his genuine feelings. ‘Not that special?’ Pavitr repeated, his upset becoming more evident but it wasn’t in due to you but more so towards the fact that you didn’t hold yourself to the same standard that he did; which was pretty damn high. ‘Not that special?’ He repeats again, ‘you’re more then special! To me, you’re the reason the stars are hung in the sky, you’re the reason flowers bloom, birds sing in the morning and why I awake with a smile upon my face and fresh breath in my lungs. To me you’re the reason for my happiness, for my hope for the future and for my beating heart that quickens upon seeing you.’

Pavitr then went onto prove this point by pulling one of your hands that he has in his grasp towards his chest where you could feel it’s quickened pace branch your fingertips. ‘See?’ He tells you, keeping your hand against his chest, ‘that’s because of you and you still don’t think you’re special when your everything I could ever think about? I miss you when your not here but miss you even more when you are because we’re not as close as I’d like us to be but that’s not something I wish to put upon you if it’s not what your heart desires.’ He finished and you couldn’t help but start to tear up, from his impassioned speech to his unwavering acceptance to the possibility of you not feeling the same, only further proved to you how much of a beautiful soul Pavitr Prabhakar was and how fucking lucky you were to be able to know him as deeply as you did.

There was so much going off inside your head that the only response that you could come up with was; ‘Just kiss me already.’ And within a matter of seconds Pavitr had both hands cupping your cheeks as he leant in and pressed his lips firmly against yours, which had you both smiling giddily at the warmth spreading throughout your body as your lips continued to press and weave against one another in such sweet tandem; that at some points you almost forgot to pull apart for air but when you did remind yourselves that you had lungs that were in desperate need of oxygen. You didn’t dare stray too far from one another as Pavitr pressed his forehead against yours, eyes stilled closed and a dopey, lovey smile gracing his lips.

‘I don’t think I’ll be able to top your confession speech but I hope something as simple as this is enough because I like you too Pavitr Prabhakar.’ You whispered against his lips, ‘I like you a lot that when you’d talk about your crush it’d hurt but now knowing what I do now, the brief moment of pain I felt pales in comparison to the light, warm, comforting sensations I get when I’m only with you. For it was all worth this very moment.’ You finished before stealing a cheeky peck from his lips; causing him to whine when you pulled back. ‘No, give me a proper kiss.’ You chuckled but obliged to his requested and gave him a proper kiss to the lips, though this time Pavitr’s hands moved to your waist and your hands took to cupping his cheeks and soon you were back to feeling that lighthearted and warmth place.