#i mean considering i havent drawn since

[chrissturnsgirlll222]

second, never first

part one | part two | part three | part four

chris x fem!reader

summary - you grew up hating one guy all of high school but suddenly become close friends, but as time goes on feelings develop, only its one sided.

warnings - underage drinking, throwing up, use of y/n, BOYS (no smut… for now lol and yes i am 18) currently not proofread or written with pristine punctuation

word count - 2500+?? (i know its long but i had a bunch of ideas for the beginning)

this is also my first story so pls be kind :) also just wanted to mention that i wouldn’t have the courage to write and post if it werent for other writers on this app so i would just like to tag and thank a few accounts who inspired me to write<3

@lovingmattysposts @flowerxbunnie @strniohoeee @lacysturniolo @strawberrysturniolo @flynnriderishot @stuniolobbg 

~

for as long as i could remember, being the second option was all i knew. just always being the backup, never the go to.

this constant course of events led to my passion of reading and writing, pretty much consuming myself with content or sources that provided me with a sense of belonging, or just putting myself into a different reality.

i always had been drawn to romance. its a un-comforting comfort for me, if that makes sense. i love reading about it and watching movies about it but love just seemed so out of reach. im sure many people feel this way but i just believe there are certain people in the world that just go through life without any sort of romantic experiences. now while that may be true i also think thats just something i made up in my head to comfort myself from the fact that i have never had a single romantic experience, ever. i mean im 17 years old and havent even had my first kiss. hell i havent even held hands with a boy.

that of course all changed during my senior year.

-

“oh my god look at what cody sent me” anna says.

anna is my best friend, though at times she felt like my biggest competition. she is everything im not. constantly talking to boys, what people consider ‘boy pretty’, very out going and popular. the fun one.

i look over at her phone to see a text from one of the many boys shes talked to in the past year “i thought you guys were done?” i say

“yeah were not talking like that anymore but i still talk to him here and there” she says

“i dont know if thats the best idea, i mean if you guys keep talking hes probably going to get the wrong impression”

“your such a buzz kill sometimes” she says slightly annoyed. i stay silent. I might sound like a complete bitch here but when your friend is constantly talking or complaining about guy, a, b and c you eventually get bored and exhausted of hearing about it, I try my hardest to be understanding when she brings up guys, but I’m apparently never supportive enough to her standards. I suppose she wants me to be there and give her advice but what do I have to offer to that conversation?

we were driving through the school parking lot to park in our usual spot next to chris.

chris is, well complicated. ive known him since 7th grade and hated him up until about 3 months ago when senior year started. the friendship started off with him just parking next to my car everyday and him just pestering me all the time but the longer we kept parking together, the more we grew to enjoy our casual conversations.

we both roll down our windows.

“morning” i say waving at him, anna does the same “hey, i wanna skip first block if you guys are down” he says “you know i would never say to to that” anna says “ehh i dont know about today i have a bio project i need to work on and didnt getting the planning sheet so i should probably head in” i say

“alright, anna come on i wanna get mcdonalds” chris says tapping on his passenger seat.

“looks like its just us this morning! y/n me and chris can just go get food and ill bring you back something for lunch” anna says turning to me.

“ill see you guys at lunch” i say grabbing my bag and locking my car doors as anna gets in to chris’ car and they drive off.

if you havent caught the weird passive tone from anna, thats how she was. no matter how much i tried she always had to be the centre of attention . i honestly dont even think she does it on purpose. i love her and she is my best friend but i just find her insufferable at times, its just who she is. chris is a great friend to me but i always caught the vibe that chris liked anna or at least thought she was hot. which is also why i think he treats her with more respect than me.

now when i said we grew to like eachother i left out a slight detail.

even though i hated chris for most of high school for the way he treated me and constantly teased me, i couldnt help myself from starring at him from time to time as he talked or even looking at his hands. not only was he visually pleasing he could be really sweet and the conversations we shared were really meaningful at times. was he attractive, yes. was he a complete asshole to me for years and still hasnt apologized, yes. did i completely fall head over heels for him when he began to show me his nice side, sadly yes.

its so cliche but i fell for my “bully” so to speak. i hated myself for it but what i hated even more was how much i let my feelings for him effect how i saw myself even more as the second option. if it came down to it and me anna and him were the only people in the world he would still fuck anna before he even though about kissing me.

i know that i might only feel this way towards him simply because hes the only male thats shown me any attention at all. though it hasnt always been positive or romantic it was still something that i had never experienced from a male before.

like i said, second option.

-

i finish up my final class and head out to my car and wait for anna who is doing god knows what considering i drive her home everyday after school. while waiting for anna, chris gets into his car and starts it to heat up as it is the beginning of winter. i watch what hes doing through his car window as he scrolls on his phone for a sec and then storms into the backseat of my car, always the backseat.

my head whips around to look at him and he looks annoyed. “why do you look mad” i say. “look at what this bitch said to me” he says leaning up to the middle console shoving his phone in my face and i read texts from a girl hes talking to.

friday 3:14pm

alice: chris i cant keep talking to you

chris: what do you mean

alice: i mean that i cant keep talking to you what were doing is messing with my head and i dont want to be a victim of one of your fuck and dumps

chris: im sure i have many other girls who would kill to be in your position

alice: then go have them i dont want to be apart of your sick and twisted hookups

“ok wow” i say my eyes wide “i didnt even know you were talking to alice”

“well now you do, and im not anymore apparently” he says throwing his arms up as he sinks in to the middle seat. “we have been fucking since the halloween party, remember when i kissed her infront of you?” he says in a duh tone.

ah yes halloween. the night i went home crying after said kiss was shared infront of my face.

“yes i remember” i say blankly.

“we were supposed to hangout tonight but she decided to blow me off, i was ready to get my dick wet but i guess ill just have to be fucking boring alone” he says as i make a disgusted face.

“well i dont know what to te-“ i was cut off by anna coming into the car.

“ok sorry i took so long but i was just getting the details for a party tonight!” she says out of breath. chris sits up at the news, “maybe i will get my dick wet then.” he says smirking and jokingly raising his eyebrows.

“what? alice blew you off already.” anna says turning to chris. i dont bother questioning why anna knew and i didnt because im sure i know answer.

“yep and im scoring tonight.” he says fake punching the air as me and anna giggle.

-

anna and i finished getting ready at her place, her wearing jeans and a hot pink tank top and me in black jeans and a white long sleeve crop top. i stare at myself in the mirror when i hear annas phone go off with a text from chris.

friday 10:27pm

chris: here

“anna! chris is here!” i yell grabbing my phone and my drinks for the night from my bag and start making my way downstairs as i hear her close behind me. i tie up my shoes as i hear her grab her drinks from her fridge and say bye her parents. i wave goodbye to her parents as well and we make our way out to chris’ car.

upon entering were greeted by matt, chris’ brother in the passenger seat.

“hey matt i didnt know you were coming out tonight!” i say smiling at him as loud music blasts from chris’ speakers.

“yeah nicks also going so i just tagged along, plus i need to drive you guys home since chris is drinking tonight.” he says lightly punching chris in the arm. “oh yeah, speaking of nick where is he?” i say. “nicks already there he came with his friends.” i nod in response and sit back starting to chug down one of my drinks. i may be a buzz kill in annas eyes but i knew how to party and loved drinking with my friends.

matt is chris’ triplet brother along with nick. i never really got to know his brothers all that well, i just know that matt has become a lot more comfortable around me and anna as we have started to spend more time with chris.

once we arrive to the party me and anna walk around to see whos there and we meet up with some of our other friends. i can see chris from across the room laughing and talking to nick and matt.

the night goes on and i finish my fourth cooler of the night and head out to the car to grab another. when i step outside the cool air hits me and i instantly regret the 2 shots of tequila i had on top of the fruity coolers i had throughout the night. shivering and rubbing my arms i continue walking to chris’ car to sit down for a sec and when i reach the backseat i see chris’ naked back and steamy windows. i take a step back once i realize whats happening.

i knew he was going to end up fucking someone tonight since thats what he said his plan was but i did not need to fucking see it. hes not mine for the taking obviously, but seeing him constantly with girls just hurt.

i turn around to walk back into the house but suddenly feel sick to my stomach. i hunch over and throw up in the middle of the road. i cough and collapse to my knees continuing to gag as strings of spit come out of my mouth. i hear a car door shut behind me as i try to stand up wiping my mouth. i feel arms grab my waist and pick me up bridal style and thats the last thing i remember before everything went black.

-

i wake up in a car with the same clothes on from the party, still drunk, my hair crispy and the smell of cologne. i look around me and realize its chris’ backseat im laying in but its still pitch black out.

i hear faint voices outside and the door my head is resting on swings open and my head flys back.

“holy shit chris are you trying to kill her” i hear matts voice. “shut up, i didn’t know you put her head there.” chris says as he starts pulling me out of the car.

“chris” i say quietly. “holy shit your awake” he says leaving me to sit up. “yeah i am, what happened. i think i- blacked out.” i say slurring my words.

“well i was in the middle of getting with summer-“ he says getting on his knees to talk to me better “and i just heard gagging outside the car and it was bothering me and i looked outside the car and you were bent over on the middle of the road throwing up. i just grabbed you and told summer to fuck off and put you in the car while i grabbed matt and anna.”

“oh my god” i say as i nod off.

“woah woah stay with us here, chris lets get her inside now” matt says placing my head back up.

“where is anna?” i question.

“we had to drop her home and bring you to our house since she said her parents couldn’t see you like this.”

“of course” i say

classic anna.

“what time is it?” i ask rubbing my eyes.

“2:44am” chris grunts taking me out of the car.

“ok lets get you inside” chris says pulling me up to stand. “you think you can walk inside?” he says still holding me up. “ill try.”

he lets go of me and i slowly make it up to the front of their house but start wobbling once i reach the steps and feel both matt and chris grab either side of me and help me up to the front door. matt holds on to my arm as he uses the house key to get inside and i walk in.

they walk me over to the living room couch and i slump over resting my head on the arm rest of the couch.

“where is she going to sleep?” matt says. “my room obviously.” chris says as i smile to myself.

“come on y/n” he says picking me up again and bringing me to his room to lay on his bed. “im gonna give you clothes to change into since yours are covered in vomit.” he says opening drawers. i nod my head as my eyes close.

he tosses me a big white shirt with some graphic designing on it “can you dress yourself or-“ i cut him off “yea- yeah i got it” i say sitting up right and hiccup.

he turns around so i can change into the shirt. i begin taking my long sleeve off and i get one arm off before i get stuck. “chris, help” i say quietly and he turns around to see me with my arms slouched and my eyes closed. he rushes over “lift up your arms” he says pulling my hands up. i hold them up as he grabs the hem of my shirt and slowly pulls up. i admire chris as he pulls off the shirt completely throwing my shirt across the room all while being careful not to look at me.

he grabs his shirt and places it gently over my head and then threading my arms through the shirt. “wait” he says walking over to his closet, grabbing a pair of his sweatpants and walking over to me with them. i sit there with my eyes closed smiling as i had thought about the scenario of him taking my clothes off many times, just not the me being so drunk i cant dress myself part.

he takes my jeans off and helps me in to his sweatpants still being respectful and not starring at my body. “ill be right back just sit here im going to get you water and an advil.” he say as he walks out of the room. i just sit there, my eyes still closed, still smiling and nod at his sentence.

i lay back down on his bed and wait as i hear him rushing upstairs talking to matt and nick before walking back in to the room sitting down at the end of his bed. “sit snd open up.” i obliged to his words before he places two advils on my tongue.

“im going to fill up your mouth with water so don’t breathe.” he says opening up a water bottle and slowly pouring some in to my mouth while my head tilts upwards slightly. he watches me with concern as i swallow the water.

“please never get drunk like this ever again, you really freaked everyone out kid.” he says. i don’t respond and nod at his words.

kid, the all too familiar nickname chris gave me. it always made me feel weird when he called me this as if he was an authority figure or something.

i lay back down on his bed and close my eyes and quickly drift off to sleep. the last thing i remember from that night is him crawling in to his bed next to me and turning off his light.

“goodnight kid”

-

thank you for reading!!!

[veilantares]

Sole Sojourner

What a lonely world it must be, for ones who travel endlessly, every infinity, another extended journey waiting to be complete.

Another one of these, I cant believe how long it’s been since I’ve made it, I could have sworn this brush spatter technique was something I only started doing a couple weeks ago, but my archive says this was from three or four months ago... I almost feel bad that I havent necessarily taken it further in that time. 

I suppose it might have to do with the frequency I’ve been drawing these at, irl responsibilities mean that I only really draw once or twice a week now, so these could be as little as twenty finished pieces ago... Considering I’ve shared at least five hundred or so finished pieces, its not that long ago in my art history I suppose. 

In contrast I’ve probably drawn at least two hundred sketches since then since I tend to bash out at least five of those a day... I just never have the confidence to share them. Deciding what to share or talk about can be a bit complicated, but maybe I’m mostly drawing for myself. 

A different side of this lack of finished pieces is that I’ve only recently found ways to properly manage the large amount of reference pictures I’ve collected over the years, and have been spending a lot of my art making time organising those, to more easily create mood boards moving forward. At this rate I’ll only be done in a couple months, but I keep finding more new things that inspire me, or more new ways to categorize the art. 

Its great! I’m finding old faves I used to love and catching up to where theyre up to now, as well as spur of the moment saves that give me an idea of what my art headspace was back then... the only downside is a feeling of not being productive. Maybe its perfectly fine to banish that expectation of being prolific, and just taking it at my pace. We’ll see how it goes.

[ot3]

first of all, i am violently in love your ace attorney fancomic. that one panel of mia in the elevator and edgeworth on the stairs sitting back to back lives rent free in my head, i think abt it every 3-5 business days and go feral. tysm <3 second, would you ever consider showing us ur process behind it? like how you plan it, the dialog + composition, etc? id personally love to get that insight !!

thank you so much!!!

i actually do have a TON of behind the scenes/process stuff up on my patreon for $2. every thumbnail/color rough/scrapped page comp i've done is up there, and i've been writing detailed commentary on the comic as a whole because it's something people expressed an interest in reading. there's a decent amount of it right now and ill have a new batch of commentary up sometime in the next few days

as for more generalized stuff about process ill stick that here under the cut but unfortunately it is going to be EXTREMELY unhelpful because my process habits are very bad.

so as for prewriting/pre-planning i do almost none of it. i've been trying to get better at doing that but i get so so so bored of that so fast. here's a screenshot of my first outline, cropped to just show everything i've drawn so far.

as you can see this all means pretty much nothing and i also didnt quite follow it. we didn't get the mia and greg postmortem and swiss rolls stuff for turnabout samurai because i later decided to scrap it. later down in this document there are slightly more detailed notes about some specific scenes, but really its all super lose.

Recently i tried to write a more detailed outline for the upcoming parts of the comic, and the stuff that happened in this most recent batch of pages was documented there pretty well

but already the stuff i wrote in this outline for later batches is not accurate to what i want anymore so to be honest the outlines are kind of a wash for me. what's really the meat of my pre-planning process is i just have a private discord server where i dump notes.

the reason i use a discord server for this is because its super easily accessible from every device i have, and doesnt require backing up between locations. i also just dump chunks of canon text in there that i want to pull exact dialogue from when i'm doing my transcript rereads.

a lot of these notes are completely useless and redundant

most of them are snippets of dialogue i want to put in on later pages. almost none of this dialogue will ever be used. for starters, a lot of it is different takes on the exact same handful of scenes and so by default are mutually exclusive bits of content. i like to just dump as many ideas as i have in there even if theyre contradictory, and then just read back through and pick my favorite/most appropriate ones as i get to actually drawing whats coming up.

every now and then ill dump all this in a google doc and arrange it roughly chronologically so related takes go together, but i havent done that in like six months so its all just a huge mess right now.

the reason i can get away with such bare bones planning is because i have a very strong mechanical understanding of how this story is supposed to function. in the two and a half years that has gone by since i came up with the idea and started working on it, almost nothing has fundamentally changed in my big picture narrative goals. knowing the exact shape of what i'm building towards makes it really easy to let the more minute details come to me in the moment. they either are congruent with that end goal, in which case they can stay, or they're more extraneous/irrelevant in which case they get cut.

when i get stuck, more often than not i just slide into mia @demonkix's dms and make her hear out my rambling. thanks mia. shoutout to mia.

now, here's probably one of my biggest sins: i do not script anything. there is no finalized dialogue until i am writing it directly onto the page. unless i'm directly lifting from the text, that is. ill have a rough idea of what needs to be said in each page when im drafting, and sometimes i'll write in rough dialogue on the draft. but most of the time ill just sketch out the approximation of the speech bubble andd either leave it fully blank or jot in one or two keywords in to remind me of what the dialogue should be. then the actual dialogue gets written in once the art is finished

do not do this. i can not stress how frustrating this is for myself. i do this every time and i always hate it.

the reason i dont bother with any proper scripting is because the dialogue bends to the art. not the other way around. a massive amount of my process is dictated by what im in the mood to draw, and by keeping the actual character interactions as flexible as possible until the art is done, i can ensure i dont get stuck at key points because the thing that has to happen is something i dont feel like drawing.

in general, my process for drafting pages is just rough thumbnail -> color rough -> go actually draw the damn thing

however there ill be times when i just do not bother drafting at all and jump immediately into drawing a page. if you go look at the stuff on patreon youll see that in the beginning i pretty much just drew everything after the first batch straight through.

this comic is a lot of work so the most important thing is that hte process is fun for me. i really hate granular planning and itd just slow me down a ton so the process is really just vibes from point a to point b. hope this somewhat answers your question

i talk about my general approach to comic composition in my big composition writeup too, which is pinned, if thats something youre interested in.

[scarsmood]

i saw a post earlier saying that liking knotting in fanfic / kink is a gateway to being attracted to real life animals. i know i'm definitely not into that but now i feel guilty having this kink!

being otherkin and my species having knots, it is something i like but now i am unsure if i should even read stories about that content.

i am 100% against animal abuse and anything involving real creatures, but i can't shake this anxiety. does a hot werewolf with a knot really lead you down a slippery slope? is it inherently bad?

TW: mention and discussion of zoophilia and rape short answer, no. Long answer for explanation: Being into say zoophilia does not inherently make you a bad person. Being attracted to animals would label someone as a zoophile. which is a type of paraphilia. paraphilias are uncomfortable and scary to talk about understandably. We live in a culture that is very morally correct down to our thoughts since we post them online. It is a popular opinion it's not ok to engage with zoophilic content. I'd argue it is okay when you do so ethically and use it for management of your paraphilia. people often say "thats disgusting see a therapist" you know what the therapist says? "you need a healthy outlet so you dont fall into committing acts that are illegal or harmful"

petplay and fictional drawn content like feral furry porn are two outlets that are more ethically friendly. If you are paranoid about supporting beastalists which are people who have actually committed acts of assaulting animals do a background check on artists and pick a few "safe" ones you enjoy. Personally I enjoy red rusker as he touches quite a few paraphilias but seems to be pretty normal. Further more in my opinion when is it not ok to engage in your paraphilia? This is the guide I use for myself: -Is it addicting and making my paraphilia stronger not tamping it down? disengage. -Does it encourage/glorify real acts and "making it real". disengage. -Is the content made with real acts, taken from real acts, or mimiced from real acts (like a scene for scene real event). disengage. -am I in an echo chamber where it seems that everyone around me is just okay with all content that comes through and wants to "take it a step further?" leave that group ideally. When I engage in content for a few of my paraphilias im aiming to normalize my attraction within myself (not shaming or guilt tripping myself), not engaging in any real acts or wanting to as well as overtime working to decrease intrusive thoughts to act ideally to 0, giving myself the confidence that i can identify fiction from reality. CNC, petplay, and breeding with BDSM partners have significantly decreased my paraphilia urges to "do the real thing". Some of my paraphilias like zoophilia havent had an urge to "act" in quite sometime now. I believe i was 15 when I had the last one. While Rape (victim not perpetrator for clarity) for me is something i'm still struggling with since its happened to me so often. I genuinely consider it in my day to day and plan 'in case' it happens. tips for managing paraphilias and experiences, With my rape paraphilia i've had "encounters" as recently as last year. Which means i'm far and away from seeing it as just "acting". As a victim this translates to doing wildly unsafe things from jumping in a strangers car or sudden hook ups with sketchy people. Because it's so "fresh" my compulsions are high. I've turned to a harder lean on BDSM to get the impulses out and play them out in a safe space which has helped quite a lot. I notice the more intense the scene typically the more it helps my impulse and makes me get a sense of control that I chose to do these things and now has a safe resource to seek out these acts without harming anything or anyone. on the flipside with zoophilia I never had any direct interaction with sexual animal abuse. I have met and been encouraged by bestialists to play with them which can be traumatizing but isnt a huge deal compared to the former. (in my personal eyes these are my experiences of course im judging lol) So I dont have a huge urge for compulsions. Typically I'm just playing out attraction for my zoophilia with no compulsions. I do this in roleplay or BDSM play like petplay. This dynamic of no pre-existing trauma or enocunters is much more chill and easy to maintain. The only thing I have to worry about is if a partner is encouraging actual acts or wants to share porn of real acts to me and normalizes it. That would be where i cut them off and say "no thanks!" Find a safe space where you can ethically voice your wants. It is greatly encouraged not to "just hold it in" because when you snap it often means doing the hardest thing possible. similar to drug abuse. If you are of course worried about your compulsions seek professional help. It never hurts to get a second opinion!

[six40seven]

September 16-18th

I didnt go to school. I told Niki i was feeling too sick to and she just nodded and said it was fine. Just by her body language i could tell she was distracted by something else and i didnt want to bother her more then necessary. I wanted to say thanks to all the people on here sending kind messages and concerned asks. I am okay. I was just a little rattled these last few days and well, of course today. I havent slept in almost 32 hours. There is no way in hell im closing my eyes and waking up somewhere strange again with no recollection of how i got there.

This doesnt make sense, and i can tell youre telling me in your head “Ran you need to sleep.” And i know you’re right but it was just horrifying. I have a hard enough time remembering what i do when im awake. Why would this suddenly start happening to me. Its unfair. I was doing fine. Now im not, and i dread falling asleep again. Im too afriad to ask Niki to instal a lock of sorts so last night and the night before and really any time I’ve been feeling the urge to sleep.. well I’ve began to tie my foot to my post. ITS NOT TIGHT. I just dont want to wander off again.

Fall break is soon. I mean sorta. I attempted to attend school online the second day home after the ordeal but my connection was too shit. I guess its the trees blocking the signal. Or maybe the mountains. Speaking of trees, i havent left my house since that day. I dont want to risk whatever happened happening again, worse while im awak. Not that i think it will but the way the trees just… tempt me sometimes. I cant risk walking to the bus or walking even out of my house. WHEERE i use to consider it a blessing to not live in the town houses, i now regret never moving closer. Fuck. Its been so long since I’ve been outside im worried my skin will fall off my body and ill die if i spend one more day barred in my room.

Its okay, for the most part. besides the natural (?) urge i have to be outside all the time. Ive sort of forgotten to document much these o past few days. But i dont think anything else significant happened. As far as related to me. Niki didnt come back the first night and i spent all that time in ym room with the blind drawn and the lights on. I was afriad if i turned the lights off i would nod off. I ended up watching YouTube and Netflix on my laptop as well as cleaning my entire room.

Usually my room is a trash heap, i like it that way, its like having my own nest. But that first night. I couldn’t stand all the things and i pretty much Ed cleaned everything top to bottom in less then 3 hours. I found a few interested things while i was doing that, including but not limited to: a box full of my old Polaroids and camera, a stuffed animal i thought i had lost which went back onto my bed, and a total of 20 spare dollars made mostly out of 1 Dollar bills and quarters.

The only thing of real interest was the Polaroid camera. I thought i lost that thing years and years ago. I only know i had one at all because i have some older pictures pinned places and tucked into my phone case. Theyre all of people i dont really know but i like to think i do so i can carry some part of them with me. They must have been important to me at some point yk. So i decided to look through and sort out any of the Polaroids i remeber or anything like that. These are my findings. I’ll explain them after i show them to you.

starting at the left top and going left to right. It reads Nov 1st 20##. all of these are from when i was a kid. maybe when i was in 4th or 5th grade? Im not entirely sure the exact age i was. The photo shown is a picture i must have taken of some sort of important journal entry, i cant really read it but at least if i ever needed to remeber taking a picture.. I remember, thanks past me.

The next one, in order, is a picture of two shadows. Maybe three. Probably me. Maybe Niki… or Eryn. we were close when we were kids and hes in two of these already. So ill just mention him. idk if he will be okay with me talking about him on here. I dont think he knows i have this account. hopefully he doesnt find it. Not that i would care very much. He just doesnt like me. The caption is just a date. oct 3rd. no year. I wonder when it happened? sometime in my childhood probably. I havent used this camera in years and years. I lost it so long ago.

The third is a weirdly saturated picture of a park in my town. The bigger town. Its just weird. And the caption says… evacuating or something. Its sorta weird. also Niki might have taken this picture because her name is on it too. Seems like her type of thing. from what i remeber as a kid, when we still lived in the big town, she was into weird saturated pictures. Something about scene. I dont know really.

The fourth is on the second line of pictures i found in the Box. On the bottom left. It says July 20## again sometime in my childhood. It shows aforementioned Eryn crouching ont he ground showing something to everyone. Or the viewer. I can see myself, or younger me. Younger me off to the side. Someone else took this picture. I dont remeber this happening. But it was important enough to keep so there it is. Thats pretty much it.

The fifth, wow thats a lot of numbers. Its got a smiley face :) on it. and its a picture of the lake. Yk the one bordering the left side of the bigger town. Its one of the smaller more muddy parts so its all gross. Probably from a hike that i wanted to remeber with Niki or something. I loved the lake when i was a kid. It was fun to swim in but after… after awhile i stopped going and then it closed because of something weird and now you can only go hiking near and around it.

The sixth. A picture of me and ****** hugging. Eryn in the background. It reads Eryn & ##### July. Its a cute picture. I dont know… who ****** is? Yeah i dont know. but i must have known them at one point because thats them. Yeah. They look familiar in the worse way and i pretty much threw that one back in the box as soon as I could. I dont like lookign at it. My stomach hurts when i do.

The seventh. And last a picture of a cat. Even when i was a kid i also apparently liked cats. It reads Spring 20##.

So yeah. I just wanted to say im glad i was able to find them and document them somewhere. I also thought while im explaing photos and stuff ill go into a little detail about what i discovered from that night. Posted on here.

The first piece is clearly a path somewhere in the forest. If i were to say, somewhere further in the mountains, near where the older remains of mines are. The only thing wrong about this piece is that…. When i posted it, theres no wya for there to have been snow. So either the photo is altered in some way, which is unlikely, because from what i can tell it was posted in the middle of the night. Or it was actually snowing wherever i was. even though all the previous days it had been raining.

The next picture looks like some sort of underground tunnel, lined with bricks and ending in step leading up to a barred and maybe locked? I dont know, barred iron gate. I have never seen that place before. Ive been in a lot of abandoned buildings that I’ve found near here but I’ve never seen something like this. The only explaination i can give for the location is possibly a sewer enterance somewhere in the basement of one of the older buildings, not from the big town but rather from the smaller town nearer to my house. Again, it looks like its snowing. Which makes no sense in any context, since it was snowing when i woke up (even though i said i thought it was) and because if this was underground where would snow be coming from? The title says… I heard you. Im here. I dont remeber this. Obviously. and i dont know who i would have.. heard? It doesnt make any sense.

The third picture… i dont have much to say. It looks dark. Maybe its related to the second picture, maybe its on the otherside of the gate. But I’ve never seen a place that dark before. Especially if it has walls. which I think it does. so it must be in a building somewhere out in the forest. Sorta supports my abandoned building theory. Or abandoned mine shaft? I have no idea. But the capture is clearly a long hallway. the caption says something is wrong. No duh. I am clearly self aware even if i dont remeber. I wonder if i act different..

Anyway, thats all for the last few days. I probably will end up attending school tomorrow. Niki isnt home yet, its near the end of the day so if she isnt home by now im assuming shes staying overnight at the office. wouldn’t be the first, wont be the last. I might get a snack before trying not to fall asleep a third night in a row. If anyone wants to chat with me, ill be open to the distractions.

[hordemama]

do the rabbit eaters Actually eat the space rabbits?? since theyre both sapient, how do the two species interact and mingle? were relations worse in the past and better in current times, or do they just avoid each other alltogether?? also do they have anything like internet on their planet? ive seen some technology stuff youve drawn and talked about, but i Am fairly new here so i dont know a whole lot yet sorry 😭 but if they dont get along and theres internet, i have this mental image of a space rabbit and rabbit eater meeting online on a sort of anonymous-ish website like space tumblr or something and becoming mutuals/besties, i think thatd have some fun emotions that could go with it. sorry for the ramble!!

well lets ask someone! As controversial sociologist, Dr. [unpronounceable by human tongue], said in a debate:

"In the past, our little brethren have been both a source of opportunist nourishment and interesting perspectives with fascinating culture and intellect. But now? We respect our past and the struggles of our ancestors, but is it still morally correct to kill and eat other sapient beings who live and love as we do? Was it ever?"

"...Well yes, feeding one's family is important, but consider: the [rabbit] must feed its own family! Who are we to say might makes right, when for us, there is no other option. We are the largest and strongest of the sapients. Who are we to abuse that power? We should instead focus on how we can protect. How we can exchange our strengths and live better lives. This does not necessarily mean we will lose our culture to their modern ways. We don't have to intermingle the way they do."

in the past, manus DID eat singular rabbits when they could and if there was a need, but groups of rabbits over two can easily overwhelm predators so its not the BEST option. (not to say there wasnt a sporting aspect for some, but that wasnt common.) and there may have been altercations and territorial disputes in the past, but they generally didnt cross paths often. Rabbits aren't huge fans of getting wet or moisture in general so the semiaquatic lifestyles of manus meant that their resource/territory needs didnt overlap. however, when technology developed more and rabbits started sending out crafts into space and receiving them, the manus sent representatives to voice their environmental concerns. These have (as far as we know) been heard and acknowledged. but relations are overall better nowadays! its not often rabbits get eaten without trespassing and the two can generally walk amongst eachother in business and otherwise. however, theres not a huge interest in doing so, so the two tend to naturally stay apart.

and while theres no internet on the planet i think that is an EXCELLENT thought. im totally drawing that later. woukd be a fun idea for my space rabbit tuff, since she has no idea what a manus even is. in the dnd campaign shes gonna be in, my friend was talking about playing a manus! also hii!!! welcome!!! i havent posted a lot about tech in general (i should soon) so you aint missin much. thank u for the ask!!!

[hufflautia]

“we’re not just friends and you fucking know it.” and/or “would you just shut up and kiss me already”

Warnings: Smut. 18+ only.

Hufflepuff watched as Slytherin shut the door behind them. He's mad, she thought, suppressing a smirk. This is gonna be a long night.

Slytherin walked over to where Hufflepuff was sitting. She mindlessly drummed her nails against the wooden table, not bothering to meet his gaze. She knew his eyes were on her. They always were.

"Why did you bring me to your room," Hufflepuff sighed. "We're missing the reunion."

Slytherin ignored her question. "What kind of bullshit was that?"

She tilted her head, feigning an innocent look. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I just told Gryffindor that you and I are friends."

He leaned in with his hands resting against the arms of the chair, trapping her in. His hot breath kissed her cheek as he spoke.

"We're not just friends and you fucking know it."

When they had made the mutual decision to have sex with no strings attached a couple of months ago, Hufflepuff was fine with it. But there was an instance where she had waken up earlier than he did and her eyes were drawn to the way soft puffs of air left his lips. And then she began laughing at his jokes more. More than once, her heart raced uncomfortably fast at the feeling of his lips dragging torturously slow over her bare skin. She brushed this off and reasoned that other people would have a similar reaction. But it got to the point where she laid in bed at night with the sweet lull of sleep nowhere to be found, for she could not stop thinking about him. It was then that she knew she had done the exact thing she had forbade herself to do. She had fallen in love with Slytherin Lestrange.

Slytherin never seemed to realize. He couldn't even notice the difference in the way she kissed him or the fact that her eyes clung to him when he laughed or flashed one of his signature smirks that she had initially found to be annoying; she now considered it to be one of his most endearing qualities.

But now Hufflepuff was fed up. It was annoying to love a guy who was totally oblivious. So when Slytherin brought her to his room at the hotel they were staying at for the class reunion, she was gonna make it hurt. She wanted him to feel how frustrating it was to be with someone who was clueless.

"Friends with benefits, maybe." Her tone was icy. "But nothing more than that."

An unreadable expression washed over his face and Hufflepuff furrowed her eyebrows. What was that?

"Okay," he said slowly. "Then why didn't you say that?"

"Are you kidding me?" She sat up in her chair. Their faces were inches apart. "Did you really want me to tell Gryffindor that we're fucking?"

He smirked.

"If it'll let him know that you're mine."

The word sent a searing hot sensation through her body, the heat between her legs becoming harder to ignore. But she refused to let him have the satisfaction of knowing the effect he had on her.

"Why are you so pressed about this anyway," she said, changing the subject. "It's only Gryffindor."

"Gryffindor," he growled, the tenor of his voice making her uncomfortably needy. "You mean the guy who's been trying to make a move on you since fifth year?"

"That was years ago," she exhaled before she stood and walked towards the window. She gazed upon the view. "This is our class reunion. He's probably gotten over his little crush by now." Hufflepuff ignored Slytherin as he walked up behind her. His torso pressed against her back.

"He definitely didn't," he glowered, "and we both know it."

A teasing smile pulled at her lips. "Good for me, I guess. Maybe I'll pay him a little visit later tonight."

Hufflepuff had to bite back a laugh when she felt him tense up - it was so easy to rile him up sometimes. Her smile faded when he slipped his hands around her hips.

"I'll ignore what happened with Gryffindor," he said coolly, his lips brushing against the shell of her ear. His hands slid under her dress, and Hufflepuff hitched her breath as they slowly traveled towards her cunt, leaving a touch of fire. The air in her lungs seemed to disappear at his next words.

"Because he's not the one fucking you senseless every day."

Her resolve began to crumble as his hands skimmed along her inner thighs, coming dangerously close to her clothed clit.

"He's not the one whose name you cry out at night," he continued. "He doesn't know how to touch you, where to touch you. He doesn't know how to make you scream." Hufflepuff gasped when his thumb met her clit. Her head fell back against his shoulder as he made slow circular motions over the bud, giving her the pleasure she craved. His erection pressed against her back as she whimpered and mewled under his touch.

A whine escaped her throat when he suddenly drew his hand away. Confused, she opened her eyes and turned. His hands were still on her hips as he watched her, a smirk on his face.

"Gryffindor," he drawled with dark eyes, "isn't the one who memorized every curve of your body. He's not the one leaving you begging for more. He doesn't know how good your tight cunt feels around—"

"But you do," Hufflepuff breathed. "It's you who knows how to make me feel good." The corner of his lips lifted smugly. Her cheeks were flushed as she gazed up at him. "Now would you just shut up and kiss me already?"

Slytherin stepped closer until their chests touched, their breaths meeting each other in the middle.

"Admit we're more than friends," he murmured, "and I'll do more than just kiss you."

~

I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN SOMETHING THAT SMUTTY BEFORE OH MY GOSH I CANT COUNT HOW MANY TIMES I LAUGHED BC SOMETIMES I LAUGH WHEN IM NERVOUS. is it bad that i listened to Call Me By Your Name while writing the ending:'). i actually have written something smuttier when i was drafting this fic for someone who requested sly and huff's first time. i havent finished but that's 10x more smutty than this.

This had more angst than I expected lmao I would've continued writing but this fic is long enough already and I also liked how it ended. But if I HAD continued, I would've addressed the angst situation and continued the story with something like this:

A somber expression washed over Hufflepuff's face, and she looked away. Slytherin furrowed his eyebrows, not expecting this reaction. He gingerly touched her hand.

"What do you want me to say, Slytherin?" she murmured, keeping her gaze on the floor. [would've written something that flows well to the next paragraph and insinuates that Hufflepuff is like "what are we to you?"

He didn't respond immediately, [would've written something that signifies his confusion, like he didnt understand what she was asking but then he does]

"I..." [would've written more dialogue but I don't have any ideas rn. i was about to realllyyyy think about this and then i stopped myself and was like jess stop it this isnt an official part 2, just wing it, ur getting way too ahead of urself]

-something happens where sly says you like me and huff is like ???? HOW. DO U KNOW. and then sly brings up this time when huff kissed him softly and she gets defensive-

"You kissed me back!" she retorts.

"I did," he said coolly.

She blinks, making the connection.

"You did," she repeats.

^basically insinuates that yes,he kissed her back, so he lieks her too and huff just realized that (via the "you did") and then i wouldve thought of a way to transition that and make it fluffy and then they fuck but i leabe the ending ambiguous like how i had left the original story. also i kinda hinted that sly liked her too by including this line: "An unreadable expression washed over his face and Hufflepuff furrowed her eyebrows. What was that?"

And that's the end, folks! Hope you enjoyeeed

[vashito]

Yo dude! Just wanted to say that I love your art and have been adoring ur buff! Sakura since like idk, forever I guess :D anyway have you watched/read One Piece? If so, is Yamato like super duper cool and fuck the animation company and mangaka's style I WOULD DİE FOR BUFF! YAMATO!!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH THIN ARMS! I mean like how do you even carry ur weapon girl!! Wellll chill anyway :D Will you consider drawning her in your style? If not it's totally ok :) just wanted to blabber how ridiculous her thin arms but anyway I still appreciate their work tho...

I havent read OP in eons but she sounds rad maybe its time to check back in on the crew!

[zmayadw]

Hello to all :)

Time for the next part!

Wish you all a wonderful evening! :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 13

We continued enjoying our time, as Aurora got more crowded with people. At some point Cleo showed up, coming to say hi to us, as she was here to meet with Hannah and the others . She had one drink with us before going to sit with them, telling how she is bussy helping her mom at the Gates of Hope with redecorating and other stuff, but she hopes all will be done soon, so we can finaly meet in peace. As it got more crowded with people, Phil was busy and also didnt have much time to have fun with us. Jessy was in a quite good mood, joking and drinking, it was nice seeing her like that.The music playing was good. There was a mixture of everything, from 80's till present day. A song started and Jessy grabbed my hand „Ohhh, lets dance, Maya, i love this song!“ I had no chance to say anything, as Jessy lead me half way to the dance floor already. She started dancing, and i couldnt do anythign but join her. And we had fun. I needed this, i tought, just some simple fun with good friends. Dan joined us from time to time, showing off his killer dancing skills. Phil was passing by us few times, going to one of the booths or tables, always winking at me with that devilish grin of his. One of the times, as Jessy and me wer dancing Phil came from behind me, wraping his free hand arround my waist and squeezing agains me. We just moved with the rhythm of the music for a while, before he groaned at my ear „Arghh, as much as i would love to stay here with you gorgeous, but work is calling.“ I grined at him, as he let go of me slowely „Aww, next time then.“ As much as i liked it, i hoped Jake didnt see this. I wouldnt want him to get the wrong idea about Phil and me. I really wanted to know where i stand with him, but this noncomunication between us wasnt helping. Lily told me to be patient, but as i told Jessy, my patiance is running short. I leaned to Jessy telling her i need to go sit down for a while, and we returned at the bar. Dan and Thomas wer there talking, and both got up from the stools letting us sit as we came. Thomas smiled at us „You two really got it going on tonight.“ He turned to Dan saying teasingly „You better be careful,man, and keep her close to you“ He pointed at Jessy „They wer smoking hot on the floor, dont let someone steel her.“ Jessy grined at Thomas „Let him sweat a little, he might appriciate me more then.“ „Awww, babe, dont be cruel, you know i appriciate you.“ Dan told her, being dramatic as always, making a puppy face. „Ohh, shus it, you big goof, and lets dance.“ She told him, taking him by the hand to the dance floor. Thomas turned to me „So, can i presume all is good between Lily and you now?“ „I guess you can.“ I told him, and he smiled „Thats good to heare.“ A waiter came with two drinks, handing them to Thomas. „Guess then soon we can all get together again, without any drama.“ „Definatly!“ i said, smiling. He smiled back „Good. Well, have fun, Maya, see you arround.“ I waved at the waiter asking for a mineral water, i was really thursty from all the dancing. I checked my phone, it was after 3, and i noticed a missed call sign. I opened the call log, and when i saw it was another of those hidden numbers, my mood darkened all of a sudden. What is going on here, i touhgt, thess calls are starting to get me worried. Jessy and Dan returned from dancing, and i decided i had enough for the night. This thing shook me up good, and i doubted i could enjoy the evening anymore. I told Jessy i'd be going, to wich she protested a bit, but hugged me and said to call her for coffee any time im up for it. I took my things, waving them goodby. As i was near the entrance, i saw Phil, so i waved at him, he winked and made a phone gesture with his hand, suggesting we'll be talking soon.

As i left the Aurora, cool night air washed over me, so i put my jacket on. I got to my car,  just leaning on the side of it, my mind still thinking of those damn calls. They are starting to freak me out a bit, and that sinister feeling started to creep up to me again. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, when a voice said „Are you ok?“ I opened my eyes, seeing Jake standing infront of me. I managed to barely make a smile at him „Yeah, im fine.“ He was looking at me, those deep eyes scaning every inch of my face, like he knew what i said wasnt true. „Just tired, i guess.“ I added, giving him a bit bigger smile, wich seemed to make him belive me. He leaned on the car next to me, and we just stood there in silence for a while. I get restless every time im close to him, my hands itch to just grab him and pull him closer. „You look good, by the way.“ He said after a while, giving me a shy look. His words snaped me from my fantasizing, and  i smiled and winked at him „Thanks, glad you noticed.“ „Ofcourse i did, i do have eyes, you know.“ He said teasingly. I turned towards him making a gesture of bevilderment as i said „Oh my, he can joke!“ „I try my best.“ He said, smiling. Oh that beautiful smile, i tought again, making me smile, too. „You going back in?“ he asked. „No.“ I started „I'm actualy contemplating should i walk or drive back to the motel.“ „And how's that going for you?“ he asked, raising an eyebrow at me. „Well, considering im still standing here doing non of the above, i would say not good.“ I replied, sighing desperatly. He chuckled at me „Hmm, well, how about I drive you back to the motel?“ I looked at him surprised, not really expecting it „You would do that?“ He smiled shyly at me „I would“ pausing a bit, before adding „For you.“ My heart started beeting like crazy, and i could feel heet comming to my cheeks. This night really is interesting. „Umm, well, sure, i'd like that.“ I told him. „But, you dont mind walking back again?“ i asked. „No, its fine.“ „Alright then, lets go.“ I told him, taking my keys out of my purse handing them to him. Our palms touched as i gave him the keys, and our eyes met. He moved his hand slowly away, taking the key, giving me goosebumps. I barely glued myself of the car to let him get in. I got in myself as he started the car and we drow from the Auroras parking. It wouldnt take us long to the motel, and i wished the ride wasnt that short. I noticed he was driving slower then you would normaly drive, as if sharing my toughts himself. I felt nervous, my head was blank, i didnt know what to say. All of a sudden, a tought crossed my mind. „Hey, Jake, can i ask you something?“ „Sure.“ He said, sounding relieved the awkward silence got broken. „Well, i just tought, i havent had a chance to ask you before. Wern't you in some kind of trouble, if im not mistaken?“ i paused before continuing. „I mean, we never discussed it any further. And since you're here at Duskwood for quite some time now already, i was just wondering what's up with all that.“ „You're right“ he started, glancing shortly at me, focusing back on the road „Short version: lets say i made a deal with some people, making sure i'll be left at peace.“ „A deal“ i started „You didnt threaten anyone, or something like that?“ „What?“ he said, „Ofcourse not! What made you ask that?“ „Hey, its a legit question.“ I told him, rising my hands up. „You can understand why a tought like that might cross my mind.“ He was silent for a moment before saying „Ok, fair enough. But, no, i didnt threaten anyone, if that makes you feel better.“ „It does. I just dont want for things to get complex for you again.“ I said, adding after a little pause, my voice getting a bit sadder „Or you dissapearing again.“ He looked at me with such tenderness, slowing the drive even more now „Dont worry, Maya, i'm not going anywhere.“ I smiled at him „Good.“ He turned his head, focusing on the road again, and i realized we came at the motel. He parked close to my room. Neither of us was eager to leave the car, so we just sat there in silence for a moment. I had a felling he wanted to say something, but wasnt sure about it. I finaly managed to force myself to leave the car. I was about to pull the door handle, when Jake suddenly said „Wait.“ I turned towards him. „Can i ask you something now?“ „Sure“ i said, even tho i had a feeling i wouldnt really like the question. He got all nervouse, but finaly asked „You and Phil.. is there something happening?“ Oh,no,no,no, i tought, why he had to ask it. The night would end perfectly without this. I groaned pleadingly at him „Ugh, can we not talk about Phil now, please.“ „Why not?“ he asked, and i noticed his nervousness intensifing. „Because i dont know what to tell you, Jake.“ „How about the truth?“ he said. „I cant do that.“ He looked at me confused „Why not?“ „Because i myself dont know what the truth is.“ I groaned, leaving the car. He left the car, closing the door and walking over to me handing me the keys „What do you mean?“ „I mean, i'm a mess, Jake.“ I started „I dont know what to think any more. You want the truth? Fine. Yes, i like Phil, i cant denie it. We clicked, i feel good arround him, thats the truth.“  My words  stung him, and he barely managed to say „I see.“ He leaned with his back against the car, steadying himself. But i wasnt finished yet. „And then there's you, Jake“ i started, my voice full of compassion and tenderness. He looked at me, his eyes meeting mine. „I like you, too. I like you so much, that it hurts.“ I paused a bit before i continued. „Im drawn to you like a magnet, i cant pull off. But, its like, every time the magnets are about to connect, one switches polarity and the other is thrown aback. Its driving me insane! With Phil, everything flows easy. But with you, its everything but easy.“ „Maya, i know i'm not the easiest person..“ he started to say, but i held my fingers to his lips, not leting him speak.They wer so soft and warm, i had to focuse hard on what i wanted to say. „I know, its not easy for you to open up, to let people in. I get it. And i know i said i can wait, that i'll be patiente. But my patiance is fading. I dont know how much longer i can go on like this, Jake. Its tearing me up inside.“ As i said it, i leaned my forehead to his, putting both of my arms to his chest,leaning against him. We just stayed like that for a while. Being this close to him, and the warmth of his body radiating - i felt serene. His heart was beeting fast, probably matching mine. I could stay like this forever, i tought, but i needed to continue. I was waiting for this, to finaly tell him what was on my mind. „I need to know what might be of us.“ I said „If there even exists the posibility of 'us'.“ We stayed like that for a while more, non of us daraing to move or speak, before i slowely pulled away from him. I sighed „You dont have to say anything now. Just, think about what i said. You know where to find me if you want to talk.“ I leaned to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek „Good night, Jake. Thanks for the ride.“ I turned walking slowly towards my room, when i heard him say „Good night, Maya, sweet dreams.“ I turned back, not stopping in my steps, giving him one more smile, him smiling back. I hoped me opening up like this will make him finaly understand the depths of my feelings. I knew there was a posibility he might not feel the same, but i didnt care of it now. I did what i could, i told him how i feel, now he holds all the cards. I unlocked my door and entered the room, kicking my boots off, throwing myself on the bed. What an interesting night it was, i tought smiling, covering myself with blanket and letting sleep take over me.

[miraclestitch-a]

@lunaerising​​ asked: [ DRAMATICS ]  for a near death experience to drive receiver to confess their feelings to sender.  ( we havent talked a Lot about them but i just think this is a little neat to consider for todomira you kn- i just love . :) death)

Even in the darkest night, I feel your heart. / accepting selectivity.

🦋 – Training camp wasn’t meant to go this way. It was SUPPOSED to have been a fun time where they all IMPROVED and HONED their skills. Just a few hours ago they were TRAINING, LAUGHING, and COOKING together. Then, all Mirabel could hear were the sirens of the ambulance and her own SOBS. She doesn’t remember much aside from DARKNESS afterwards, occasionally eyes opening just briefly only to be BLINDED by the light of the hospital. She felt WARM, much too warm. She could constantly hear muffled voices, none of which she recognized.

🦋 – But after a bit, there was SILENCE. Though, she didn’t know if that was BETTER. The silence left her alone, half awake with her THOUGHTS and her FEELINGS. It scared her, she didn’t LIKE how scared she was. She didn’t like how WEAK she felt. She should’ve been STRONGER, she should’ve been QUICKER ... then maybe ... maybe ...

🦋 – There’s a groan as she tries BURYING those thoughts. She’s too tired to deal with them right now. Her eyes slowly open up, thankful for the dimmed lights and the curtains drawn. The sun is almost out of the sky, leaving for a COOL light inside her room. She groans at the HEADACHE she feels. She looks at her arms, all bandaged up ... god, her mother was going to kill her. She wonders how the others are doing -- thoughts drifting back to the others hurt during the attack. Was anyone else badly injured that she couldn’t get too? 

🦋 – Almost as if SENSING her thoughts, the door to her room opens up. Her eyes glance over to see who it is. “T ... Todoroki?” for the first time in the past few hours, she managed a SMILE. He walks over to her, pulling up a chair and sitting by her bed. They sit there in silence for a moment, not sure what to say to the other. Mirabel forces out a laugh, which makes Todoroki look up at her.

🦋 – “I failed, huh?” She manages to choke out. She doesn’t know why NOW she’s letting this out, but it’s not like she could ever hide her emotions WELL from Todoroki. Ever since the sports festival it’s like he could just TELL. “I couldn’t KEEP them from taking Katsuki, i couldn’t STOP them, i c--” Todoroki’s hand on her cheek stops her from finishing. Her eyes meet his, and she can SEE the stress he’s been feeling too. Oh, god, what had he been through? 

🦋 – “You did what you could,” he tells her, thumb brushing over her cheek. Mirabel’s breath hitches, before the tears begin streaming down her face. Todoroki takes her face in both his hands, and she NUZZLES her face into his palm. She can hear him gently comforting her, albeit AWKWARDLY. After a few seconds, he wipes at her face with a tissues, and she chuckles. “I’m alright, todo, i’m alright ...” Still, though, she wasn’t stopping Todoroki. She doesn’t think she has the strength to do that.

🦋 – She scoots over on the medical bed so he can lay down with her. They lay there, mostly in ... SILENCE. Not a tense silence, just .. silence. One they could enjoy despite the HELL they’ve probably face the past few days. She doesn’t remember how long they were there, until Todoroki’s phone BUZZED. He had to go. 

🦋 – “I’ll visit tomorrow,” he promises as he gets his stuff. “And i’ll sneak some of your favorite food in,” in a whisper, which makes her giggle. As he turns from her to walk out, the words slip out past her lips before she can stop them;

🦋 – “I love you.”

🦋 – Mirabel freezes, and Todoroki stops walking. Mirabel wishes she could COVER her mouth ( damn these casts !!! ). “I mean --” panicked mode activates, and she’s trying figure out how to WORD things. Her panic blinds her from Todoroki turning around, walking back to her. He places a hand on her head, and she stops talking. The silence is now TENSE, and neither of them like that. Mirabel stares at him, and he stares back. He leans over, and bumps his nose against the top of her head. Not a kiss, but it held the same sentiment as one. It made Mirabel’s panic nearly DISSIPATE, and her giggles are like a little song to Todoroki’s ears.

🦋 – “Tomorrow,” he tells her again. Not just a visit, but more of a ... a TALK. They have time to figure out whatever they are. But for now ... Mirabel needs to rest, and Todoroki needs to go. She nods, and he can finally leave. She rests her head back on her pillow, and sighs.

🦋 – Tomorrow.

[voidsparkk]

i havent drawn much yugioh art this past year. i don't care too much for the fandom anymore? weird to be a "fandom blogger" lol but like the yugioh online community is super heavy on ships which i don't particularly care about in general. i have a few fav ships but i don't feel the need to draw art of them at all, plus there's already so much out there.

i really appreciate yugioh for what it brings to the table and i think about it a lot and it's one of my favorite things ever but i just don't care about the shipping that much! i like the actual like.. canon concepts and things like that. extrapolating canon to determine what's going on and how the story could be improved with some elaboration. i know that it's an inconsistent narrative, as with most media, but that's what makes it fun for me. what do i consider canon? what do i consider the logic of the world?

i also have headcanons that i don't share that much anymore because they're more canon compliant. most of the stuff i've posted about hcs/aus and whatnot that's gotten notes is pretty out of character and silly and just for fun, and i posted them at least a few years ago.

yugioh means a lot to me and i feel like i want my original content for it to be up to my own internal standards if it's not a meme thing? i guess that's right.

anyway, i don't have many close friends anymore that regularly blog about yugioh anyways, so finding new content that i enjoy is kinda hard! it's fine but since i don't post much i'm not really doing all that much to "keep the fandom going" or whatever. not like it's gonna die forever cause its such a huge show but i'm also just not active on twitter and instagram where all the new artists are :/

[twunk-ouma]

all I've been seeing is kokichi slander ever since it was revealed that he's actually a twunk; but here there's no mucle print shirts, no sharpies, no "They're clearly fake he's too frail and lightweight to have abs"- i've seen so much it's frankly starting to trigger my rejection sensitivity dysphoria and- ick

your account is a safe haven and makes me very happy, thank you for your mere existsnce

anon you are safe here 🤲 i totally get what you mean, its always rubbed me the wrong way how upset some people get at the idea of him not being a frail twink- why does he have to be?? its especially funny considering hajimes sprite art is kind of stereotypically twinkish, just like most of the danganronpa guys, but everyone rejects that and makes him more muscular. dr has always been bad at drawing body diversity. not to mention that when people bring up his canon weight or measurements they act like that means anything- mondos chest size is canonically smaller than kaito and hajimes even though hes drawn bigger.

i havent been mega active on tumblr recently but im going to reblog some twunk ouma art just 4 u

[ankhisms]

let me indulge myself in thinking about acting look away but anyway im thinking about past roles (ive been acting since i was seven so ive done. a lot of different things so im just like thinking of ones i really remember and aspects i enjoyed) and thinking about the types of things i like to do

- i think i honestly like being side characters more than i like being the title or main role ive done plenty of both side and main characters and idk i just really like being able to think about a side character and their life and try to give them more depth and think about their motivations. also being in the ensamble cast is fun theres a good sense of comradery and figuring out what youre doing together in the background of a scene

- physical comedy like flopping over and flailing around and making weird faces.. i never consider myself a very funny person outside of acting but i am very goofy and i got told pretty often that i have good comedic timing when im playing a part thats supposed to be funny or theres supposed to be a funny moment in the scene. i just like being goofy i remember being the scarecrow in the wizard of oz and i loved exaggerating my movements and falling over and tripping over myself

- weird eccentric characters i feel like i dont even have to really explain this one gnmgmy when i recently visited my friend who i did theater with we talked about being neurodivergent and like being casted as characters that very clearly were meant to be coded as neurodivergent even if not outwardly said and how we both have drawn from our own experiences and life to play different things and that it can be nice to like allow ourselves to use that. for me its like yeah it sucks that everyone sees me as weird but at least i can use this and have people see the character lovingly

- villians are fun i havent done villians or antagonists very often i think thats mainly because i have a baby face and i dont think ppl look at me and go oh scary antagonist tkmfg but they can be fun i had a lot of fun being the mean shopkeeper in little shop of horrors that was one of my favorite shows ive been in

- also do really enjoy doing serious emotionally charged drama stuff i did the play dollhouse and was the main character which is basically a play where a woman leaves her abusive marriage where her husband basically just saw her as a doll. and oof it was a lot and challenging but having those kind of challenges with serious emotional material is good

[jaredpostz]

hey hey hey i made a mpdsap iceberg a little while back and i thought it would be fun to yell into the void about it, because why not. i havent explained the lore to my followers yet and ill probably reblog this to my main tbh

[little disclaimer that a lot of these are based off of made up lore and ocs on my main account. if youre strictly canon only then i wouldnt recommend this for you. if you’re interested but have no knowledge about said lore, i will give basic explanations]

LAYER 1

Joey Perleoni: joey perleoni is well known as the poster of the anti-piracy videos, who, recently, has involved himself more in the videos. joey in my lore is depicted as mostly emotionless or “empty” with no remorse for his actions.

Mario Party DS Anti-Piracy OST: on the channel, there is pretty convincing fake music for the series, there’s not much else to say about it other than it’s SUPER bangin’

Joey was arrested: in a video titled ‘the police are at my house’, joey is taken in by the police. he is presumably in prison

Luigi is the victim: in all of the videos posted, luigi is the main character, and is often considered the victim of the horrible events happening.

Hex code translations: in the videos, there are several hex codes, which can be translated to several different things. the ones we’ve found are hellsatan, luigimod, thx4luv, watchdemon.jit etc.

Reggie Fils-Amie video: on joey’s channel, his first upload has nothing to do with mpdsap, but rather it’s a video filming a joke reggie made about mother 3. it’s unknown if this is connected or not.

LAYER 2

Joey interview: a user by the name of simonejoys interviewed joey perleoni, he said some pretty interesting things actually, here’s the link if anyone’s interested: https://youtu.be/v6AkkxS9LK4

Luxury station and Quiznos: luxury station is joey’s second account, revolving a few strange videos about a place named quiznos. it’s unknown if this is connected or not

Hudson (the man): in my lore, there is a character named hudson, who inherited the company. he’s considered the person who made the anti-piracy screens, or at least encouraged it strongly. this character is based off of some text in host hoedown, which translates to “hudson - this is not necessary. it will extend the launch considerably.” (also i know hudson is the name of the company but the time i found out it was too late)

“Joey no longer runs the account” theory: there was a theory going around after joey’s arrest that someone else is running the account, since there should be no way he should keep posting. this is probably deconfirmed by now

Joey doesn’t feel much emotion: as stated before, my depiction of joey is that of “mostly emotionless or completely empty”. there is no reason for this currently (it’s kind of a case study at this point tbfh)

DJ Hallyboo is based on MC Ballyhoo: in mario party 8 for the wii, there is a character that bears extreme resemblance to DJ Hallyboo, named MC Ballyhoo. they have the same voice clips used, similar names, and somewhat similar designs. MC Ballyhoo is the host of mario party 8. it is general considered that DJ Hallyboo is a beta version of MC Ballyhoo by fans.

LAYER 3

Electric chair: in the video simply titled “mario party ds anti piracy |”, where joey sits on a chair and boots up mario party ds, a few comments were floating around joking about him getting the electric chair. this hasn’t been confirmed

Hudson and Joey used to be friends: this is mostly outdated now, but there was a joke timeline where hudson and joey were friends in the past. not gonna cover it any further than that because it’s an old concept now

MC Ballyhoo and DJ Hallyboo are the same person: in my lore, the general consensus is that MC Ballyhoo and DJ Hallyboo are the same person, with split personalities. he is also either sentient or extremely aware.

Joey is god: in my lore, there is a mostly bizzare idea that joey is divine and has always been divine. he became “a god” by doing criminal acts, or sacrificing luigi. i can’t tell you if this is canon to my lore or not yet though - it started as a meme, but i really do like the idea somehow.

“Waiter, your finger’s in the soup!”: a mysterious quote with no real meaning that was quoted by joey a couple of times. it is connected to a short comic. nobody has found out what it means yet or why it’s being posted about.

LAYER 4

“Joey does drugs” joke: (TW // DRUG ABUSE)

this joke spawned from something i learned in school. apparently people who abuse illegal drugs gradually start feeling less dopamine doing normal activities over time, due to drug overstimulation. this was jokingly connected to joey’s chronic emptiness and inability to feel anything, with the joke that he does meth or some other illegal drug. it’s also noted that drug abusers are likely to commit other crimes. this is of course, not serious at all.

Joey stole MPDS from mcdonalds: this is a personal theory of mine. mcdonalds and MPDS have absolutely no connection - so why are they attempted to be connected at all? in the video, it describes a demo being sold in happy meals at mcdonalds - it’s a possibility that joey stole the demo from mcdonalds, and doesn’t actually have the full game.

Joey wearing the same clothes as the character: i have drawn joey with a yellow sweater (with orange sleeves) and grey shorts for a while now. in the mcdonalds video, he was wearing nearly the same outfit (with the exception of the shorts being pants). he also has brown hair, which i predicted, but it’s much darker. this is probably a coincidence but it’s pretty freaky honestly.

Techwalker: this will probably be the longest segment in the iceberg and the most lore heavy. techwalker was joey’s old channel. he made extremely different content - mainly of which was just bothering random people on the street and at conventions. he has described himself as a “journalist”, but this is all basically fun and games. these videos are now unlisted and i will not be linking them nor telling you where to find them for privacy reasons. i don’t want to get in trouble. if i find any of yall spreading it around im taking down the post and will probably not talk about this again, you dont want that, i dont want that, nobody wants that really.

in the lore, techwalker is not joey. they are 2 seperate people - but they live in the same body. what this means is that either one can take control at a time - joey is completely numb to everything around him, but tech is a pretty happy go lucky and social person. they have different personalities, morals, names and lead different lives. tech even wears glasses (assuming he has some kind of impaired eyesight), and joey does not.

(this has been confused with dissociative identity disorder. while i don’t mind people interpreting my content in whatever way they’d like, considering this is just fan-lore, this was not the intent. i do not have DID and i don’t want to speak for anyone who has DID.)

the general consensus is that tech is dead, or at least completely drowned out, and joey has taken complete control. joey and tech were practically mortal enemies and polar opposites of each other. (joey constantly being annoyed or uninterested in tech’s hyperactivity, and tech not trusting joey to be responsible or ‘law abiding’)

anyways

whew

i typed a lot of stuff.

thats all i have to say about this, if this gains any major traction (and i doubt it will) or causes problems, i will probably delete the post entirely. so be good lol

alright im gonna go ive been writing for 45 minutes or so

im out

[enzo-zzz]

A vent on the fandom + cg

If you dont wanna hear any negativity, please just ignore this post. It includes dissatisfication on the yttd fandom and ongoing belief in it. I'm not going to use very kind words here, so just ignore this post. 3b spoilers included.

I like yttd so much, but the english fandom, i cannot interact because how toxic it is. Even the smallest different of which route you choose, will attract anyone to abuse, harrass, ridicule or humiliate you. And to be truth, there are many of them who are so judgemental, to the point that there is only one thing that are right and the other are wrong. Black and white mindset. The term "canon route" is what fans created itself. I guess there are many of them who are teens or kids, since most of kids who havent grown up yet tend to lean towards black and white mindset, even if they believe they are not. If you find people who keep arguing especially on social media, you can bet that its teens. Adult are too tired to involve in things like fighting with strangers. There is one time when the poll asked your age and the age range quite small to teens age. I guess thats why i think so.

OTHER THAN THAT, THERE'S ONE THING I'M ANNOYED WITH. ABOUT THE CG AND HOW THE FANDOM DECIDES THAT THE MORE CGS, THE MORE CANON IT IS. To be perfectly honest, i'm the one who came up with the analysis that on certain route 2-2 ending the cg is more. But people really use it the wrong way and now thought that anything that has more cg is the canon route. The word canon route is wrong in itself, who tf come up with the term canon route in yttd? Is the reason for creating two route is for one to be canon only, or for sparing different characters, or for having different storyline? (I personally think that on different route, the story will change and the ones who got to live at last is probably different ). Now i see those who misuse that information everywhere. "In sou route 2-2 ending evil joe AI dont even have new cg but in kanna route he has. See how biased the devs are? he should have drawn more if he really meant the route to be the canon one. Kanna route will get happy ending, sou route is bad ending." I think thats stupid. B*tch, he keep reusing his old art here and there. You can check for yourself. Joe and midori has same hand based on the cg? He's just reusing the hand art. The arm in 3b and 1-1 is the same arm he reuse. Sou and kanna 2-2 ending basically use the same sou drawing, he just changed it a bit. Sara in 2-2 kanna ending use the same cg as when keiji try to calm her in front of computer, he just changed the face. Midori and sara on the 3b game screen cg basically use the same cg in the 3b content, but changed a bit. So i can think why need to create new cg when joe is still malicious as the hallucination in 2-2 sou ending? If i want to create something i will also reuse this to save my time.

So if you wanna really use this cg argument, then maybe you can consider why alice memory game got so many more cg than reko's? and how ranmaru gone insane has so many new sprite and pose with the hair like that. And why when dummy is dead they got cg's. Especially the ranmaru dying one, he got moving cg's and how it was put more effort into that. Then that means dummy dying is actually the canon route since when they alive they got no addtional cg? This is my assumption, but i think the devs just do as many cg as it takes depends on how impactful the scene he's working on, not because its canon, thats really a lazy take if he is actually unwilling to do extra route but still forcing himself to do it anyway. Imagine if dummy is dying but no cg, instead a message " ranmaru/mai/anzu died ". Do you think that will really give impact to you? This game clearly hinting that joe is going to be the spotlight of the game, even in 3b. So when sou set the real joe ai in kanna route for sara, the script is written for the real joe to genuinely react to sara. of course thats going to be heartwrenching since joe himself is the very important part of sara's life. When the script is made that way, lacking of cgs will hamper down the storytelling nankidai genuinely want to deliver. All i can say is it come from the heart of the author himself. If it is just only text for something as tearful as that moment and no cgs, it wont really touch the feeling isnt it? It is the same with alice memory game that tells about how alice "kill" midori. I'm not sure how many it is but atleast there is 3 cgs with one of them has variant. The story of how alice kill midori is also important and should have impact, thus the extra CG's. I can say its about being passionate and indulged in the storytelling.

I dont even know if joe will ever heal sara in sou route, but based on how the story still keep joe relevant til the end, then there must be something that need to happen between them in the end right? Nankidai even made sure that sara see the dog keychain in 3a if player probably choose to not ask gin about the dog keychain he's hiding in ch 2. Its also for relating ranmaru and joe. Having closure or conclusion with joe in the middle of game is still valid, and having a closure with joe at the end of the game is still valid. Imo, having closure with joe at the end of the game after all of those suffering involving him makes the better climax or impact for sara chara development since the game build up to highlight joe and mr. Policeman, it can be even better if all of it are to be pull together in the ending.

Even if the devs has route he prefer, he's not abandoning any route he less prefer, only if its true that he ever have a route he prefer. Plus you dont know which route he's prefer if any. He's taking his work seriously, it just some "fans" looking down on him, even to the point calling him biased, he's punishing the one who take another route, treating like he only use his career for egostatiscal reason (it somehow clearly mirrors that you are the one who egostatiscal to the point of wanting to find any excuse to punish other, you just using the devs name to validate your mindset). If he's dislike people who chose that route that much, then why create that route? If he know its tiring to make alternate route, then why still make the choice to let 3 dummy alive route at the end? It will make more work. I can only assume its out of passion, or just that he deep down wants the character to be alive atleast in a route ( idk if this is correct, i just read google translated version of his public fanbox that he's actually very reluctant at first when the time comes and "crying" so hard when he had to kill joe in chapter 1. So the part where he wants to spare some character is only my assumption ). By this punishing logic, shouldnt he not make alice die when you push reko ai to spare gin, and only do it to those who dont push the ai to save gin by killing real reko? I am more sure that the variants is to tell a different story or who to spare, and specifically for who sara actually was.

Happy endings? I'm not sure. I've expected that once from story with a lot of deaths, wishing for atleast the protagonists alive. Anime or story with a lot of death is definitely my jam, but from what i see, most of them has bittersweet ending, it depends on how the author wants it to be. Some author dont mind killing them all till the end, and some author just easily kill them all because they plan to revive them later. And everyone sense is different. Some japanese people sense in storytelling is a bit different imo. As the one being the audience, happy endings is the most common wish the audience wants. But its all up to the sense of the author. This is why i'm annoyed with some kids from overseas who rarely watch or play many things that involves a lot of death from japan suddenly says that this "one happy ending, this one bad ending! Everyone will survive in this route, everyone dead in this route"

Just play any route you like, nothing wrong with that. Whats wrong is to start this war of ridiculing others or have that irritating attitude towards those who play their own first route and start bad mouthing or desperately throwing bad assumption that one route will end very bad just for the sake of feeling better for your choice and to scare others.You do know that when you read a book, you'll only know if the overall story is good or bad until you know the ending right? The ending will conclude everything that happened. What happening in the fandom is now like, you only read 3/4 of the book and already expecting that this one will have good ending and bad ending. What if its not about the binary, but for the difference in direction? Its not that bad if the story of the book is kinda predictable, but with how plot twists become the main part of yttd's charm, its getting more difficult to predict how it will end. There's a lot of story which was masterpiece in every part as seen by fans, until the ending hits. Its what the author wants, but its not what the fans wants.

If you pick fights with others, even passively, the consequence is all on you. Good luck taking care of your mess.

Thats why i'm reluctant to publish any theory because the fandom will always use it as an excuse to pick fights with other and say " i'm more right bcs i got this proof" . U see in my caption i dont want any of those harasser to even digest my theory. If you are one of them get out of my blog.

[cosmosrival]

Rico besides Kama what do you think about the other indian servants?????

AHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS GOING TO GET SOOOO LONG!!!! i have a different view of the indo fam as a whole. i call them the indo fam but i mean the found family trope!!!! theyre like a group of college students sharing a dorm if that makes sense, since their servant selves are obviously different from their initial myths/human vessels!!!

OK SO. RECENTLY, i have an oomf that found books about arjuna that summarize his exploits in the mahabharata(I DONT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO READ IT ALL IM SO SORRY) and also talk about him in a more philosphical manner such as his states of mind during each event etc and i’ve been meaning to read said book because im genuinely interested in arjuna now!!! and i’d like to know more about this indo prince because from what i’ve seen, he is portrayed in a rather bad light(?) in FGO which i find extremely !!!!!!!!!!! and incrdibley !!!!!!! strange !!!!!!! the mahabharata’s conflicts can be put in a mostly grey area where there’s no good nor bad, its not black and white. so seeing arjuna get bashed because of the way his conflict with karna was written is... hm. let’s say that im REALLY starting to understand arjuna fans that dislike seeing him get mischaracterized so much. OTHER THAN THAT, his design is adorable, his travel outfit is my favourite because he deserves to relax and have some fun!!! fgo making him a chuuni is cute and his VAs little moans are cute cute cute!!!!!!!!!!! (mash grabs my shoulder and forces me to sit down) i think that arjuna deserves better and im really happy to see him have fun in his travel costume voicelines. i think we should take arjun on a date!!! he’s a great lover, we’d have the best time!! OH ALSO, kama seeing him as the student council president in their interlude makes me SOOOOOOO HAPPY its unreal, i think it fits him very very well, the seitokaichou who was elected because of everyone’s hopes and recommended by teachers because he’s suuuch a good student but because of that, the pressure to be good is constantly towering over his head and everytime he looks out the window he wishes he could ditch class and skip a day just because he felt like going to the arcade and be a bad student.......just this once........i think hes very very cute...... i want him to cook for me. HAVE YO U READ HIS BOND 4 VOICELINE ?mmmmmggg i want him to get embarrassed everytime i praise him for having such a muscular waistline. AUG

ANEWAYS i also have quite the thoughts about karna, his characterization in the game is linked to arjuna’s and thats fine but i think that forgetting how much of a little sassy bastard he can get was a mistake! did you know that in apocrypha’s german dub on netflix, when jeanne calls his name like “You’re Karna, aren’t you ? The son of the Indian Sun God !” HES LIKE “So ?” AND THAT WAS SOOOO BITCHY OF HIM, i think that karna is a good boy in fgo but the fact that he was such a fighty old man in the mahabharata shouldnt be forgotten and is a charm trait. I MEAN ???? HE THREW HANDS WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD(ARJUN) WHILE BEIN LIKE... THIRTY TWO. WHATS WITH THIS ANNOYING OLD MAN !!!!! knowing these little facts about him made me like him so much more actually !! i think karna being so nice is adorable!! but the little bitchy energy u can find in his voicelines is also very charming!! i think karna looking at me emotionless as i ask him to lend me his notes for the nth time that week and then saying “...Mn.” when i thank him is cute!!! his voiceline towards things he dislikes is interesting to me. karna seeming aloof and mean bc he doesnt know how to communicate but is actually nice underneath...... hey... thats a little delinquentcore........ i wouldnt say yankii but hes like... hes like... u know hes the handsome quiet one of the group of yankiis... u know the one...? hey where are you going

ganesha is also a character im deeply interested in but i havent played CCC so i dont know that many details about jinako herself !! my brain goes HMMMMMM it seems lord ganesha is trans in fgo ! (since kama used to be a male god originally as well!!) ganesha uses all pronouns!!! and ganesha is also special to me because they share similar traits with kama when it comes to their characterization AND mischaracterizations. ganesha isnt JUST jinako. theres a part of a god in the servant mix!!! and jinako HERSELF is actually a pretty sad character imo. the whole otaku/neet thing is obviously a facade and her true wish being that she wants to redo her whole life is also proof of how much she hates what shes become, yet at the same time, she doesnt know what else she could do. but anyways, i prefer looking at servants from a lore POV so i think that ganesha should still be considered a god and be adressed as such!! i like seeing people portray ganesha as jinako but i prefer it when a certain lavish more godly side of them is put forward. a side of jinako that managed to move on a little bit if that makes sense ? that got more serious. and became someone else entierly despite sharing similarities. needless to say their bond with karna makes me happy since he shows them respect as you should towards a god!! its a bit different from their bond in CCC... like they matured somewhat!! anyway ganesha is the one who taught everyone else in the indo fam about video games and technology and i will NEVER shut up.

ashwatthama..... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM %_’(’ç_”’è_ç(è_’”545656455456545453£¨¨µ¨µMµ¨++°=)=)°+ goodness. jesus christ on earth. my love story with him makes me so embarrassed. when he got revealed i instantly fell in love with him despite knowing JACK SHIT ABOUT HIM but since i was the only one in my friend group who was hardcore into fgo at the time, i kept my love for him to myself and just... (looks away)(i drop my wallet full of picturses of him) quietly adored his everything in silence. WELL, ree having an intense crush on yankii type characters isnt new, its been my favourite trope for ages (gyarus go in hand with them!!) and im still very attached to it so thats what made me love him in the first place!!!! BUT THEN. I GOT INTO HIS MAHABHARATAN LORE. And OHHHHHHHHH BABY.......... (im twirling my hair) so theres this 7ft tall war criminal..........<3<33<3(mash leans in and informs me that the convention of geneva didnt exist at the time) SO THERES THIS 7 FTTALL IMMORTALMAN.......<233 gOD he makes me absolutely CRAZY9909840385%£%%£%%µ%µ%µ the love i have for this character is immense and whenever im sad i remember that pako exists and has a tablet and can draw and i suddenly feel so much better. ok im gonna stop horny posting a little bit. but hes my wife. AND WHAT I LOVE ABOUT HIS PORTRAYAL IN FGO IS THAT, they actually made him a good boy despite his initial roughness and misdeeds ???!!! HELLO?? ashwatthama wishing for a redemption ark is my favourite thing and his righteousness that was born because of his regrets is a very interesting drivepoint to me !!! hes a gorgeous character and im buying a ticket plane as we speak right now so i can go find him in northern india. i’ll find him. GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME !!!!!GET OFF ME !!!

miss lakshimi makes me very sad! because every female servant in the indo fam is an already known face. (... would sita count.) and lakshi being a jeanneface is a waste. well, she’s still very pretty and her lore is also quite interesting!! i havent looked into it fully yet but i think she should be kissed on the mouth. her bad luck makes me slip on a banana peel whenevr i get close to her to kiss her and i hit my head on the pavement and pass away- 

parvati is on a tough spot for me atm. i genuinely love thinking of her as the way the indian goddess herself is portrayed because thats where the fun lies for me in her character. especially when shes involved with other indian servants, thats a given!! i would like to see parvati grow, suffer and heal. because branding her as an “all-knowing mom” is easy, but every single parent makes mistakes if you follow that logic. also, since shes the sakura servant “thats closest to her initial personality”, she’s got some of the most Repulsive fans ive Ever witnessed in fandom spaces and lets say that im trying to work my way out of this hellhole and find things to like about parvati without the fandom’s influence. needless to say, im going to keep looking into her mythos and her lore by myself at my own pace and keep doing my own thing in my little corner. 

rama shouldve been a jock. THE RAMAYANA IS OLDER THAN THE MAHABHARATA, WHY IS.....Hrm well him being summoned as his baby version gives me hope for a future rama alt perhaps??? but i think that he shouldve been a total jock and he shouldve been huge with a huge red lion-like mane for his hair and a teethy grin and big biceps and intense love for his wife. SPEAKING OF SITA, her charm point is her purity but i wish.... that their artist still hadnt drawn them like That, im not a fan of lily servants and i think purity = being young is a bit of an annoying excuse!!! rama and sita looking similar is because of their shared history which is fine but... rolls my eyes............. rama shouldve been 6ft tall and sita shouldve been a milf to match...... anyways i doubt ravana would be added as a servant but i’d love to have a ramayana centric event!! where all indo servants have their own lore centric role to play!!! oh thatd be a dream.... but i have learned to not expect much from a fanservice game so im jus gonna draw my own stuff! (strikes a pose!) (mashu claps!)