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#i mean someone did do that to me but that was in like week 2 of the class. you don’t do it in week… *checks notes* TEN???
in1-nutshell · 10 hours
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TRANSFORMERS ONE IS OUT! Unfortunately, I couldn't watch it in theaters because work and money is a bit tight right now. I can't wait for this movie to come out in YouTube Movies to watch it. Since we both know it's obviously gonna have a sad ending, do you mind if I added a bit more sadness in this request? Orion Pax has a younger sibling that he raised named Buddy. Buddy loves both Orion Pax and D-16 as a family. Buddy is willing to bite some ankles if anybody was mean to someone Buddy cares about. Buddy is also tagging along with them in the adventures, much to Orion's dismay and dread. I heard there is gonna be a fight between them at the near ending. Buddy is horrified and scared that those two bots that Buddy considered their family is now fighting each other as enemies. Buddy begs and screams at them to stop, but Optimus and Megatron obviously won't. When Optimus and Megatron shoot each other at the same time, in a moment of panic and terror for their loved ones - Buddy jumps in between them and get hit by both of their shots accidentally that immediately offlined Buddy. They both stopped fighting in shock and grief. Buddy's death was the final straw between Optimus and Megatron's relationship. When Megatron and Optimus went in their separate ways, they both knew the war had begun. Characters: Orion Pax, D-16, Bumblebee, and Elita-one. Please and thank you!
Trying to get the TF1 fics out a bit early so we have something to read.
Hope you enjoy!
Slight mention of spoiler in the movie
Bot Buddy being Orion Pax's younger sibling
SFW, Platonic, Familial, Angst, Character death (you have been warned!), Cybertronian reader
TF1
Buddy was one of the youngest miners in the group.
They did get some special treatment from certain bots but was otherwise expected to act just like everyone else.
One bot in particular took interest in the younger bot.
Orion Pax was his name.
He saw a lot of himself in the younger bot and offered his companionship.
The younger bot quickly latched onto him faster than rust.
It didn’t take long for them to fall into a sibling dynamic.
Soon D-16 was introduced.
D-16: “So let me get this straight. You saw them and decided to be their friend and the next thing you know your siblings?” Orion: “That’s pretty much it.” D-16 shakes his helm in good humor. D-16: “Sometimes I can’t with you.” Buddy swings their arms around him and Orion. Buddy: “Get used to it D! You’re one of us now!” D-16: “As long as you’re not like this rusty bucket its fine.” Orion: “Hey!” Buddy chuckles: “Don’t worry about that D.” 2 weeks later… D-16 watching Buddy trying to drop kick Darkwing after he ‘accidentally’ knocked their energon cart. D-16: “Primus… they’re worse…” Orion pats D-16 on the back. Orion: “Yep… want to help them out?” Both mech’s wince seeing Buddy get punched in the chassis. D-16: “…Fine.”
Buddy always kept their brothers on their pedes with their antics.
Always kept them both on alert.
Buddy loved to randomly jump on their shoulders or try and pick them up.
Despite their antics, Buddy was a good miner and even managed to do something most miners couldn’t do.
Get on Elita-One’s good side.
No one knows what exactly happened between them both for Buddy to get a bit of favoritism.
Elita refuses to elaborate and Buddy likes to see bots squirm for the answer.
Buddy hands Elita a spare jetpack. Elita: “Buddy I already have a jetpack.” Buddy: “We’re going to need it.” Elita raises an optic but ignores it. Later… Elita: “… How did you know—” Buddy: “The jetpacks are old Elita. Its only a matter of time before someone falls from a faulty one.” Elita pats their helm. Elita: “When I get promoted, I might just ask to move you to be my assistant.” Buddy: “No! I don’t want any more work!” Elita: “Too late, already considering it.” Buddy: “Orion tell her to stop being mean!”
Buddy was helping Elita get used to her new role in waste management when they saw who was on the Iacon 500.
They cheered for their brothers with everyone else.
The bot let out a yelp when they saw D-16 get hurt, but quickly smiled seeing Orion try and help him to the finish line.
…Too bad Chromia won the race.
Good news, Buddy was now a couple shanix richer from the betting pool.
 While they were heading to the med bay to go see Orion and D-16, they quickly hid seeing Darkwing picking them up and leading them somewhere.
Orion and D-16 talking to B-127 when something big falls on to the conveyer belt and jumps off it. Buddy dusts themselves from the junk. Buddy turns and waves at the bots. B-127: “New friend!” Orion and D-16: “Buddy!?” They both go over to Buddy looking for any injuries. Buddy: “Hey quit it! I’m not dying!” Orion: “What are you doing here?” Buddy: “Well I was going to the med bay to congratulate you two, but Darkwing got to you first. Then I had to wait a while until the coast was clear and find out where you were sent. It’s kinda fun going through the shoot though.” D-16: “What you did was—” B-127 pushes D-16 out of the way and shakes Buddy’s servo. B-127: “Hi there! I’m B-127, or you can call me B or—” Buddy: “Wait! I can be B and you can be BB!” B-127: “Or maybe we can go by the Double B’s!” B-127 and Buddy start chatting up a storm. Orion: “What just happened?” D-16: “I don’t know but I don’t like it…”
Orion catches Buddy up on the new information on Alpha Trion.
Buddy is ready to go.
Orion and D-16 try to get them to stay, but Buddy ends up joining.
They are having a blast climbing the crates inside the train as Orion tries to get Elita.
Buddy stared long and hard at the landscape when the group reached to the surface.
Is sprinting with B-127 the moment the giant rock formations start getting closer.
Grips Orion and D-16’s servo when they all get tossed out of the train.
Their chatting and B-127’s chatting makes the other older bots consider gagging them for the remainder of the trip.
When reaching the cave of the fallen Prime’s, they gently hold D-16’s servo as they silently mourn for Megatronus Prime.
Hides behind Elita when Alpha Trion comes back online and nearly decks Orion in the face.
Cries a little bit seeing what Sentinel had done to the other Prime’s.
They deserved so much better than that fate.
Absolutely seething with D-16 when the group sees Sentinel giving the Quintesson’s THEIR hard earned energon.
Once everyone gets their T-cog’s, Buddy is the first to try and transform… unfortunately they did not get it the first time.
The group was running down the hill. Buddy’s helm gets tucked into their frame. Buddy: “I CAN’T SEE! I CAN’T SEE!” Orion starts laughing Orion: “HAHAHAHA—AAH WHERE’S MY HEAD?!”
Buddy gets a bad feeling about D-16 when he starts talking to Orion but brushes it off as stress.
They hoped they were right, especially after he admitted to wanting to terminate Sentinel.
Don’t get them wrong, they absolutely hate the bot now, but to go so far as terminate him?
It didn’t seem right.
Was the first one to get tased and wake up.
They get excited the second they see Starscream, Shockwave and Soundwave.
B-127 and Buddy both tell the other’s who the High guard were.
An excitement that quickly turns into frightened when they see D-16 beating up Starscream.
They tried to get to him, but the crowd wouldn’t let them.
Buddy looked over at Orion, both sharing the same look of worry and fear for their brother.
They end up getting captured by Arachnid with B-127 and D-16 after the explosion.
Orion is riddled with guilt the second Elita tells him that Buddy, D-16 and B-127 were captured with some of the high guard.
Thankfully, he and Elita made a plan with the remainder of the guard to help get the others and bring Sentinel to justice.
Back at Iacon…
Buddy was in between D-16 and B-127 on the ground, restrained as Sentinel prattled about having them executed.
They felt their spark stop for a second when D-16 stood up.
Arachnid had to restrain them when Sentinel started branding Megatronus’s face on D-16’s chassis.
Buddy kicks the spider in the back of one of her legs. She lets go. The younger bot then kicks Sentinel in the back of his knee joints before helm butting him. Snetinel staggers back a bit. They stood in front of D-16 with fury in their optics. Buddy: “Touch my brother again and I swear I will send you to Primus myself!” Many of the captured bots looked in surprise at the young bot protecting the fallen miner. B-127: “Buddy just stay down!” D-16 tries to stand up the second he sees Sentinel start to move to them. D-16: “Buddy get out of the way!” Buddy: “Fat chance!” Buddy tries to kick Sentinel again, but this time the Prime grabbed their pede and with a swift movement twisted it. SNAP! Buddy: “AAAAHHH—” WHAM! Sentinel punched Buddy across the face sending them skidding across the floor. D-16: “BUDDY!” He glares at Sentinel. D-16: “Stop! Your fight is with me!” Sentinel: “No, they made it personal when they helm butted me. Its time to make an example.”
Thankfully the train had just crashed into the building.
Orion hops out and helps D-16 and Buddy up.
Orion briefly thinks on punching Sentinel in the face but is quickly drowned by D-16 yelling that he was going to terminate Sentinel.
Buddy tried to tell Orion that something was wrong, but their older brother was gone, off to tell everyone the truth about what Sentinel did.
They did their best in battling the other guards with their bad pede.
The bot screamed in horror when they saw D-16 and Sentinel going off the edge.
It took them a while to get to where the fight was.
They remembered seeing D-16 holding an extremely injured Orion over the edge of a dark hole.
They didn’t remember screaming, but their voice box started glitching when they saw D-16 let go of Orion’s servo.
Elita and B-127 were by their side holding them tightly, afraid they would try and jump off the ledge to get to him.
Buddy remembered looking at D-16 giving his speech.
Their audial winced when he called himself ‘Megatron’.
They had to close their optics for a second, not believing they had seen a newer version of Orion, now calling himself Optimus Prime.
The two former brothers fought.
Megatron and Optimus were on the ground wrestling the former’s fusion cannon. They barely registered the sounds of pedes coming closer. Megatron: “Let go!” Optimus: “Never!” Suddenly the cannon went off. A scream. THUD! Both mech’s look over and see Buddy’s frame laying on the ground…so still. Optimus quickly gets off Megatron and runs to Buddy. Optimus: “Buddy!” Optimus gets to the frame. Buddy’s optics were offline and there was a smoldering hole in the middle of their chassis where their spark was supposed to be. Optimus gently cradles them. Optimus: “Buddy! Buddy please! Buddy… please… don’t…” He gently hugs the limp frame, not caring in that moment if Megatron blasted him. Megatron just stood up and stared. He wanted to scream. To yell. Megatron wanted to hug his little sibling frame and pray to Primus that this was not happening. Optimus gently places the frame down, stands up and looks at Megatron dead in the optics. Optimus: “Take the High Guard and go. You are banished from Iacon.” Megatron starts walking away but stops for a moment to take one last look at Buddy’s still frame before yelling for his troops to follow him.
There was a small funeral held for Buddy.
 Optimus made sure to hold it together in front of the others.
But Elita and B-127 caught him alone, sobbing with a picture of Buddy, Orion, and D-16, smiling, without a care in the world.
The two bots held their leader tightly as he continued to sob.
Megatron mourned for Buddy in private.
It was only right.
He cried in silence holding a picture of him, Buddy, and Orion Pax on their first day of mining.
In the safety of his habsuite, he could cry all he wanted before his Decepticon’s expected him to come out with a rally cry.
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lukolabrainrot · 2 hours
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Calm theory anon here again!! Lord knows I'm exhausted of this little girl but I wanted to touch on what all we have seen since Italy Birthday trip and Lukes recent like. 1. It was reported by someone who took a photo with Luke at the airport that he was alone. Meaning he flew back by himself. Rumor that he left two days before 2. We got radio silence from the group for a while. 3. Rory unfollowed sienna then it was reported on by the fan pages and then he followed her back. 4. Sienna unfollowed Jack Vine (this is the guy that Luke stays with when he didn't have a house) then it was reported on by the fan pages and she followed him back. The last couple days she's unfollowed him again. 5. Charmaine reposted on TikTok about NDA👀 6. Rory takes a trip with his mom. 7. Sienna likes a post of Hannah Dodd and Nicola from fashion week. 8. Sienna hasn't liked any type of photos of A since early August nor did she like that last Luke post. Now with all this information I'm sure we all can come up with some conclusions. I do think that Luke set up some type of NDA which in my opinion was necessary. We have to remember that Luke's management team is actually a very well-known and establish team this was told to me by people in the PR field. He doesn't have newbies. Now I'm sure that pissed a lot of his friends off. It made them keep quiet about things that they might not have wanted to be quiet about. We clearly see something going on. Now Luke liking A stuff. it was 10 1/2 hours after she posted on her grid with a story posted after four hours of the photos being live. Now the posting to her stories of the grid picture is a new thing. That didn't start till after Italy. What does that tell me? She knows that his notifications for her has been probably turned off. So in order for him to see her photos, she would have to post it in her story which he most likely watches those. This particular photo wasn't liked until after Nicola posted at the concert. I don't believe in coincidences. He got a notification that Nicole posted. Then he went online afterwards watching Nicola story. Now who to say it's not part of his NDA that he has with her that. But as I was thinking about all of this today, one of the interviews that Nic and Luke came to mind. When they were discussing red flags. And one of the questions was keeping up with an ex. Nic said something like I feel that how you speak of your ex says a lot about you or something like that. Remember, Luke listens to every single thing that Nikola has said. She's the one person in this world that he remembers how they met down to the chairs they had sat on. So he would remember stuff like this. So it could be an NDA thing or it could be him trying to be civil with his ex. Regardless of the like which does not tell you anything. The only thing that tells me is she is desperate for that like. She has to put it in her story so that he will see it, she wants that like so bad that she's doing something she never had to do before. Why does she want the like so bad? Because she can control the fandom. Every time Luke likes this girls picture people spiral. it's like on a photo. He's not commenting on it. He's not giving her heart eyes. He's not sharing it to his stories. He liked the picture. We don't know the reason why and we will never know. All I'm saying there is a lot going on BTS that's clearly evident by how they're all moving. We just gotta wait for Nicola to speak more. Remember, her voice should always outshine this girl's voice. Nicola has given us all hints that something more is happening. Let's trust her please
As always, love your thoughts and theories!
Here are some additional theories/thoughts I have about the SM events from today. Disclaimer: These are just my thoughts and interpretations based on all the publicly available information I have seen recently. So please do not take this as 100% fact!
N didn't post her Chappell Roan story until almost midnight her time
L THEN preceded to like A's post approximately 30 minutes after N's CR story- which at that point was technically the day AFTER A made her post
So my little delulu theory is that N went home to L after the concert with her besties, they cuddled up and caught up, N posted her story, this made L log on to IG and prompted him to do his obligatory like of miss A's post after seeing A's story
Some additional notes/thoughts:
Even if N DIDN'T go home to L, all of the available information Calm Theory Anon and I have laid out here tells me this. L DOES NOT HAVE NOTIFICATIONS ON FOR A AND IS NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT SHE IS POSTING. L IS DOING THIS WITH N THOUGH.
He also liked A's post within a really short time of N's CR story. Now, the only thing this definitively says is that L/N were on their IG accounts around the same period of time. But this was around 12:30 AM their time. It was pretty late at night, and like it's just an interestingggg coincidence if L/N were separate and just both getting on SM around the same time at that time at night. We also know N tends to go on SM when she is getting ready for bed (N has said this). And she posted the CR story around the time she most likely was getting home from the concert. I think there are just a lot of signs/clues pointing that L/N were together around midnight their time. And L was NOT at the CR concert, so that means she would have met up with L AFTER the concert. And if she was meeting L after the concert at that time at night, they were probably with each other the rest of the night. So this is what leads me to believe that N went home to L OR L got the notification for N's story and got on SM and saw A's story. The timing of it all is just very interestingggg to me 🤔
Lastly, A had to essentially BEG L for this like. Why does L still have to like her posts? I have no definitive answer. My thoughts are it's some sort of contractual agreement. Regardless, these likes have no direct indication of L/A's relationship BTS. If I look at the full picture of EVERYTHING, all the signs indicate that L/N are spending more time together (or just since August decided to start publicly hinting to the fandom that they are spending a lot of time together). And all the signs point to L/A not being on good terms, and that there was some sort of rupture in L's friend group around the Italy bday trip.
These are just my thoughts though. What does everyone else think?
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opens-up-4-nobody · 5 days
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#ay. tomorrow might b the day i face the music#which is to say. i tell my advisor how fucked i am. i mean. ill spin it so it doesn't sound so bad#its just that ive told him like 2 weeks in a row that id send him my edited preproposal and i have not bc im too afraid to start reading#papers related to my project. which is frustrating. and like the thing is. and i kno ive said it before and i kno im not a fucking idiot#i can read papers and i can even understand what theyre broadly saying. but thats it.#zero critical thinking. zero insight. i use all my tiny fucking brain space to try to understand the words on the pages#and even then it only forms this broken fucking image of whats being said. like u dont understand. i used to struggle with writing papers bc#i couldnt fucking connect what i was saying from one paragraph to the next when i was the one doing the fucking writing.#what the fuck am i doing here? and again. im not stupid. i can follow the information if its fucking said out loud but thats not how this#works. and it just feels like sometimes there's a limit to what you're capable of and im at that fucking limit. the undergrads in my lab#have more ability to comment on papers than i do. its so fucking frustrating and i just have to live with knowing itll never get any easier#so what the fuck can i do other than drop out? theres no god damn way im gonna pass a comprehensive exam. not unless i buckel down and break#myself in half to try to retain all the information i need to. which requires that i read so many god damn papers that i cant fucking read.#just. why tf did i pick a career path where my suffering is inherent to a huge part of my job? i feel like ive consistently chosen to take#the hard path in life and ive finally stumbled too far from what is possible for me#so well see what comes out of my mouth tomorrow when i have my weekly meeting. i just feel like its my last semester#i feel like this is it. i just need someone to fucking hire me. bc everytime my lab mate mentions something abt#my project down the line or talks abt future conferences i should attend. im just like. its a nice idea but that's not happening. im just#at the end of the line and it sucks#unrelated
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sydmarch · 1 year
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spent months like I need prescription for my mental health give me prescription please please & now that I have it I'm like hm. do I want to have to take meds, actually
#part of it i think is just that typical anxiety that comes before any life change like s new job or whatever but also like#despite never having TRIED stimulants im familar w them i know people w adhd who are on them i had an idea of what to expect & thats what i#i figured id be getting but shes having me try this non stimulant option first bcus 1 apparently its good for people who also have anxiety#and 2 easier to get w the like Adderall shortages & shit rn#& im like ok i have NEVER heard of this drug before and didn't even know there WERE non stimulant options options.#like im doing all my research TODAY for the first time then pick it up tomorrow?#like me heslth anxiety girl just has to be like ok sure i guess. i had mentally prepared myself for stimulants & thats it!!!#i mean worst case i just try it & see if it works or if i have side effects but like. ugh. & i dont like that i dont like my np LOL like id#probably feel less uncertain about trying something i was previously unfamiliar with if she was someone i liked & trusted more#if i knew there were unfamilar drugs they might recommend to me i probably wouldve started over & found someone new to work with. AGHHH & i#didnt discuss any of this w her bcus it took me a couple hours after our session to think abt it & do my own reading & process my emotions#to really come to thia conclusion. & also i wouldnt have wanted to talk to hwt abt this anyway bcus i dont like her & have not felt at all#like cool w opening up to her beyond the minimum i had to do for the assessment#& my therapist is sick this week so im not gonna get to talk to her tomorrow!@#texticles#anyway i know ive got fellow adhd bitches following me. anyone try guanfacine did you like it or nah
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seiwas · 11 months
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i miss the sel who wrote 'tell me about love (show me how)'
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toastsnaffler · 4 months
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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im2tired4usernames · 4 months
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Ugh I was excited for today until I found out I'd have to spend it with people that actively make me hate being alive hate the future and drain me off all energy physically mentally spiritually like a vampire I can't stand to be around her she is the definition of stupidity and even then that's generous as fuck this bitch has filled her brain with so much garbage I watch her brain cells die at alarming rates every single time she uses her vocal cords her giggles make me want to jam a sewing needle into my ear repeatedly so I can never have to hear it again its a friendly reminder that my parents decisions this time my dad's constantly makes me want to die
#i cant even shes just so dangerously stupid#she thinks energy drinks with natural caffeine are safe to give people who have been told by doctor doing take caffeine with thia meds#ahe thinks of a child is CHOCKING to lie them face down n rub their back#she has the evangelical woman voice worse then women I've met n that cult ahe giggles constantly and behaves like the stereotype lil german#boy just got a lollipop over.... everyone and everything whe acts likw an 11 year old I just got the first boyfriend and all they could talk#is how perfect their boyfriend is and they're so pretty good for that I pulled a boyfriend is and it's like a God thing that they met how#SOOOOOOOOOO in love while constantly nonstop touching ahe has to be touching him her hand on his thigh her atm linked with his her heaf on#his chest she has to be in her lap they make out all over the place IT'S DISGUSTING AND EMBARRASSING STOP SWAPPING SPIT#she started a i. hwr words 'love diary of their love journey' they hadn't been dateing 2 months her kids are spoiled fake Instagram bitches#with such shitty views on politics SHE'S A TRUMP FAN GIRL SHENLOVES TRUMP MY DAD BROUGHT IN A TRUMPIE#there's so much i cant even say because even admitting it on tumblr is too embarrassing i wanted.to.likw her i liked her the first day but#THE MORE I GET TO KNOW GET THE MORE N MORE N MISS RED FKAGS#she threw away all my siblings clothes school books toys uniforms for sports their in toys i bought them that week make up jewelry#in the disguise of helping clean house#while i was at the hospital the kids call me in tears i call her beg her to wait and nope.ahe didn't i found the bags by the curb i brought#my dad sided with hwr because 'she didn't mean any harm she didn't know sje was throwing them away'#my mom hasn't bsen dead a year he started dating right after ahe died#hes talking about marrying this woman this woman who has never had an honest educated thought once in her life#WHO ASLO SPEMDA MONEY LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR AHE CAME FROM A WITCH FAMILY HER LAST TWO HUSBANDA WERE TOUCH SHE HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE COMMON#SHE SPENDS LIKE SHE STILL HAS MONEY WHEN SHE DOSE NOT AND IT'S LIKE YOU DID NOT JUST SPEND OVER 180 DOLLARS N PASTRIES GOD#SHES SO FUCKIN STUPID AND EVERY HOLIDAY SINCE MY MOM DIED WVERY FAMILY GWT TOGETHER BECAUSE WE DON'T TALK OR.DO ANYTHING WITH MOM'S SIDE#OF THE FAMILY ANYMORE SHE'S THERE EVERY WINGLE MOTHER FUCKIN WEEKEND SHES HERE I'M EXHAUSTED SHES PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY DRAINING TO BE ARO#OUND SHES LIKE IF SOMEONE TOOK A GOLDEN RETRIEVER ON A DIET OF JUST FUCKIN COCAINE LITTLE GERMAN BOY WITH LOLLY AND CRUELLA DEVILLE AND FUSE#THEN TOOK A STRAW AND DRANK ALL THE SMARTS OUT OF THAT BEING#UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGH MY DADS GOIN TO NARRY RHIA BITCH SHES GOIN TO TRY TO BE A MOTHER TO ME AND MY SIBLINGS AND THEY'RE GOIN TO#be so fucked up because her kids are not ok SHE FUCKED THEM OVER BAD SHE HAS FOUR KIDS ALL ADULTS THEY'RE JUST WOW#I HATE MY LIFE I HATE WHAY FUTURE MY FAMILY IS GOIN TO BE THE GOOD THINGS IS I WON'T HAVE TO STAY I CAN GO N MAKE A NEW ONE WITH MY WIFE#FOR ME BUT MY SIBLINGS ARE FUCKED AND ANYTIME I WANT TO VISIT MY FAMILY YANDERE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BITCH WILL BE THERE WORMING HWR WAY IN#SHES CONSTANTLY CALLING N TEXTING MY DAD NONSTOP OF SHE'S NOT NEXT TO HIM AND IF HE CAN'T RESPOND INSTANT SHE FREAKS OUT N BUGS ME
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reinemichele · 7 months
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Btw uh I think it's kind of obvious, but if anyone's wondering
I've been putting my URL over photos because I don't want any gimmick blogs to save and repost them. It's one thing for a low quality picture of a bunny I saw in the yard, but if any of my pet pics were reposted I'd find it really disrespectful
We only have a really short time with our pets, so anyone who wants to get clout by reposting a picture of an animal I view as family should at least ask permission or have a watermark in their way
I know there's methods to remove watermarks, but at least this way it takes more effort than 3 clicks to repost one of my photos
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southislandwren · 8 months
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ohohoho boy update. today at work it was just us doing cheese while everyone else pulled an ice cream order, and i was like hey if youre not busy saturday would you want to roadtrip with me? and i fully expected him to say no, but we are roadtripping to nebraska on saturday <3 <3 anyway what playlist do i put on in the car. do we trust him enough for get loose get looser
#music wise. i think maybe take a walk in the sun or normal music. not sure about glgl yet#i will probably put him on aux for at least half of the trip#(and when i say trip i mean like. 6-7 hours round trip. like we're not going very far for very long)#we're leaving at like 2:45-3pm and i get sleepy around 10 so not like a super good road trip for me#i told him that the way i plan trips was usually a long drive based purely off vibes but i would try to have an actual plan this time#and i asked him what time he would want to be home for work the next day since he works at 6am#and god he was so cute he was like 'i'll call off work on sunday so you can do one of your usual trips'#and yeah. sighh i am down so bad#and i HAVE to promise to be normal on this trip. i always get weird in cars late at night.#but theres Implications of him being in my car like 100 miles from home. so i cant do or say anything weird#like could you imagine being in a car with someone you dont like and they start being weird. like what the fuck do you even do.#but anyway yeah good day. he was very talkative today. and he is so cute sometimes i cant stand it#work is really fun when theres 6 of us and i can stand there while the underclassmen do all the work#boy post#oh and he said he was going to message that he was streaming skyrim but it ended up being boring#so that revealed some info. 1) twitch streamer 2) did think about texting me at least once last week 3) trusts me to know about his twitch#ugh. i would love to just hurry all this up but i have to be patient i have toooo#okay! off to take a disease quiz and then study some ice cream#talk to you later tumblrinas
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sairitaikutsu · 11 months
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gonna go on a little schizo rant on main here we go
so i only REALLY thought about it just earlier while streaming, the content that does well online are mostly either minecraft twitch clips i edited for yt shorts, or remixes of songs, most especially from my FNF phase.
it got me thinking, i want to be known for my music, both remixes and originals, with gaming on the side, not the other way around. this semester break has become a productive week for me (even though i was sick during the weekend), and it gave me a chance to start streaming again and working on music more. this in turn probably lessened the drive to write??? idk, that's not what this is about.
i'm suddenly contemplating on switching up my yt content. instead of more music videos and visualizers, i start posting long-form minecraft videos, which are basically stream vods edited into a video that's less than an hour at most. i'll still probably make music, though, but only posting it to soundcloud without sharing it to yt.
i'm a little bit scared to make that change, though, because again, i want to be known for music. i still want to create and share music, as it is my passion along with videogames. i'm afraid that making this change will mean i have to put more time into editing 2-3+ hour long videos into something shorter, and i'll also eventually stop making music because of that.
not finishing music wips already happened because i picked up a writing hobby, only coming back to my music production roots thanks to Reignite...i'm afraid of that happening again.
tl;dr, minecraft content does really well on my yt and twitch channels, so i'm contemplating from transitioning from a yt musician to a mcytber.
idk what the point of this was, honestly, but i really did need to get this off of my mind 😓
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pepprs · 2 years
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not to keep liveblogging the retreat but it’s over now (it has been for most of the day). i cried so much today and it was amazing. im so sad and so happy and so relieved and so tired and so proud
#purrs#retreat tag#i was rly anxious facilitating today and overwhelmed bc we had to pack (i didn’t help at all and felt terrible) and i didn’t finish writing#notes to ppl and i had to facilitate and i was nervous abt the emotions. and then we got there and i said the final words and started crying#and this time EVERYONE was looking at me. but it wasn’t sad tears it was like…. wow. look at this. we made this together. we went through so#much this week and also for three years and we did it and it all mattered so much and we’re here together. and i felt all my past and future#selves and pods and cohorts in that moment and all the ones i didn’t get to see too. and it was so… wow. and then i was bawling when we were#hugging goodbye and someone in my pod hugged me for like a solid 2 minutes it felt like and we were just rocking each other and crying 🥹🥹🥹🥹#it doesn’t even feel real but also it was SO real. i can’t believe it’s over. not to keep talking a but crying but i cried for like an hour#when i got picked up and we went back to the hotel omg.. like this was MONTHS of intensive prep and planning plus 2 years of the heaviest LY#lifts to put on diminished versions of this magical thing and we got to do it this time and everything that led up to that mattered and the#ripples will roll out forever. im a little scared bc part of me feels distant from it bc i know so much now and have a lot of experience w i#it but like.. this program changed my whole life. introduced me to so many of the people i love. exploded my world into light. and i got to#be part of doing that for 43 other people. i feeel so lucky and warm#i feel cringy for talking abt it on here liek it’s disingenuous / just for performance but i rly mean that its just thisis my public diary 🥴#like omg. 5 years ago. and 3 years ago. and last semester. and now it’s over???? but also it’s just beginning. wild#naur also im a staff coach now and it was kinda sad the distance i felt. like they were scared of me / felt like i was untouchable a little#bit but it’s like… im only a couple years older than you. someone in my pod was a year older than me! so that was sad. but it was good
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#i spend so mad god damn time bitching on this website. its bc i dont talk to ppl. whens the last time i had a non functional conversation?#uuuuhhh last weekend or maybe the weekend before that? so like i gotta complain somewhere. so if i stop complaining u can assume i made#friends lmao. ugh. its just. im worried. im worried abt how this semester is gonna go. how this phd program is gonna go#bc i spent the last 2 years destroying myself. realized ive gotta stop doing that. haven't figured out how to stop and now im gonna triple#the amount of pressure im under while trying to do things in a more healthy way. its just like. it objectively doesnt seem like a formula#for good things to happen. im more worried for how catastrophic its gonna b on my brain than i am abt the things i think most ppl would b#concerned abt. like im not worried abt planning and executing a project or teaching beyond fear of the unknown#its like. ive done these things before. theyre difficult but u make due and tackle the problems. but when it comes to: how to maintain a#healthy school/life balance? i dont even kno where to start with that. i just dont bc when u have a learning disability things just take#more time but like how much time is too much? where does it end? i dont kno how to manage it and i dont wanna hate my project by the end#of this. i want to b excited and not paralyzed bc im afraid i cant change my behavior and its gonna kill me#and im worried bc im meeting with my advisor for the 1st time since march before i agreed to join thr lab and have i prepared for this#project which is almost complete unrelated to what i did in my last lab? no bc ive been managing data and im still not done managing data#bc i cant focus bc i collected that data in a way that was actively self destructive. and i mean i kno itll b fine. thr guy seems nice i#just hate that im showing up devoid of enthusiasm bc its all been drowned out by the fear. and thats also gonna make teaching a problem#bc its hard to b excited abt things when there's a hole in your chest and ur desperate for someone to tell u how to fix it. but idk helping#ppl does usually make me feel better so maybe itll b a good thing. forgot how much i feel like im dying when i sit in meetings and#classroom tho lol. god its been 2yrs since i was a student. classes feel like such bullshit now. and yet if i dont get all As i might die#my students better b good. i have the 1st lab section bc thr lead ta couldnt do that time. so im the trial lab and i start fucking Monday#who tf does labs the 1st week of class? ugh. also its an intro bio so like 2/3 of thr class r freshman. lil bby 18yos and some r non bio#majors. and ive been warned that sometimes there r problems with ppl who don't believe in evolution and cause problems. pls let my classes#b good. im not that worried. its just gonna b annoying as fuck. im not good at being authoritative#ugh. i should b reading papers so i dont look like too much of an idiot tomorrow. itll b fine im just an anxious freak. a lil over a week#until i can try to find a therapist. probably seek medication bc i dont kno how else to stop this bullshit. annoying. i grew up with a dad#who gets anxious abt the idea of taking too much medication when he tskes a single ibuprofen. in this household we feel pain and then we#die miserable. this is all his fault. we have the same brain.im just a lil more irradidic than him#its so funny i say that bc im like the least irradic person ever. i do the same things every god damn day. im just irradic in terms of#sometimes i feel like my brain is on fire and im a cry bby lol#whatever. enough bitching. ive got papers to read. or maybe ill just go to bed and read them tomorrow 🙄#unrelated
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deus-ex-mona · 2 years
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felt nostalgic, so take this pic that encompasses my entire school life lmao
#really long rambling bc i probably woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something this morning. you’ve been warned—#ngl i’ve never really had any friends since the start of my pathetic life?#and like even if i did get friends,they’d ditch me the first chance they get lmaooooo#i could befriend 2 people independently of each other,only for the two of them to ✨somehow✨ become besties and ditch me… or something#tbh though i’m 10000% okay with being friendless and left alone. i’m more productive when i’m alone!!!#it just gets really annoying when teachers go ‘lol pair up with someone your size (for sports)’ or ‘form your own groups for a project’#bc more often than not,i was the only one who was completely left out of a group lmao#like even the dude ‘leftovers’ would already start moving to group up with each other. it’s just me who’s left out#and the teacher would absolutely refuse to let me do the project by myself >:( and i’d get forced into the leftovers group anyway lol#and it’s not just teachers!! the senior student group leaders during orientation weeks refuse to let me be alone too!! >:((((#i’d just be vibing by myself and the group leaders would sidle up to me and talk to me. like?? why?? there are other loners over there too??#they’d allow the dude loners to remain in peaceful solitude but not me?? it’s not fair!! >:(((#ughhh that reminds me that there was also this guy classmate who refused to leave me alone for some reason#by ‘some reason’ i mean ‘i think he liked me but i can’t be sure bc he was really weird about it???’#like i literally ignored him for over a month and he still tried to get my attention for some reason.#and after that,i’d resorted to telling him ‘dude go away’ and he’d leave for like 1 min,only to return almost immediately ಠ‿ಠ#fun fact: the silent treatment technique never ever works. tried,tested, and failed#but anyway yeah. the pic with arisa was literally me in phys ed class lol#being the only friendless 🐓-less loser in a class with 30 dudes and 11 girls (in total) was fun!#the other girls would pair up with each other and i’d just rot in the corner and write bad fanfics in my mind lol#the only times when i could get a pair were when a single girl was absent for the day lmao#the fact that there were 11 girls made forming groups of 5 for ball games really annoying too.#the other 10 like-biologically gendered people would just split up into 5/5 groups and the leftover’d be me#not that i actually wanted to play or anything. i’d just go ‘i’ll observe as a reserve player from the side!!!’ and it’d work lol#but anyways… yeah. i personally don’t find friendships that necessary to succeed in life? casual acquaintances are good enough for me ig#maybe it was a sign when my friends from my former friend group were making jokes about how i was friendless lmao#i wish i could just completely isolate myself for an entire day… wait no make that an entire week#no texting,no social interactions,✨no worries✨. just me,my cup noodles,and my ✨productivity✨!!!!!!#well! i’m sorry if you actually read all of that… i just needed to get it all off my chest before i erupted like a shaken bottle of soda lol#inedible blubbering
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vimbry · 2 years
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drains collapsed. under house
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#we've had on and off plumbing issues for like 2 months now & this is why. so#no clear reason why probably just. you know age and wear. uk sewer system's old and garbage#my parent & I have had flu also which I still have a lingering cough/feel tired from#anddd we haven't been speaking to my grandparents (who we prev saw like. once a week) for about the same length as the plumbing issue#after they did something pretty selfish and thoughtless and are the type too proud to apologise/want everyone to move on#so now we're at a stalemate bc we're still hurt and it's like. even if we do move past it#I still view them differently now. you know? family disappointing you really leaves you feeling empty#I already went nc with my other parent in 2019 cause they suck and then my dog died in 2020#just feel like I'm slowly running out of people in my immediate circle esp with pandemic limitations#and this is just like. a whole thing now on top of the existing energy crisis to worry about#also someone stole our recycling bin LMAO like I put it out for collection a few days ago and now it's just gone dk where it is#which is not that big a deal you can just order another for free but it's like. why'd you have to do that man#I want to be grateful for what I've got knowing people are living through warzones and famine rn but like#I'm very weak and things mess me up easily I won't lie#that information only makes things worse. I mean each year everything just gets worse around the world.#it's already blisteringly hot each summer I just don't feel very. hopeful about anything anymore#I've just been really depressed#I guess the good thing is not caring about anything means I don't even particularly care about venting this online lol#it's hard to feel any cringeworthiness or insecurity over anything when you're not feeling anything at all
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britneyshakespeare · 2 years
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i am like. unreasonably mad right now.
#oh like SO much madder than i need to be#tales from diana#i uninvited this guy i don't personally like very much from smth last week#i told him something TRUE tho which is that my friend who was going through a mental health crisis might not be expecting a lot#of ppl there and i was trying to keep the crowd small for his sake. FOR HIS SAKE. that was half of my anxiety tbh.#i probably would've suffered through trying to be nice and agreeable if i weren't looking out for him. he's been through the wringer lately#but it gave me a valid excuse to tell this guy i already have some problems being around that i didn't want him to show up.#but i told my OTHER friend. who WAS going. not the one going through the mental health shit.#i wasn't gonna throw the first guy under the bus so i told him hey friend 2 i uninvited that guy bc i kinda have reservations about him.#i didn't think it necessary to share my first friend's crisis (when i told the guy i dislike abt it i didnt say who it was)#(that was another reason i felt like i shouldnt invite him. bc i didnt want him to know who it was. i didnt wanna share his business)#so im telling friend 2 about the reasons i have reservations about this guy right? and friend 2 is like 'oh wow i didnt know that'#and he starts feeling differently abt him. reflecting on some stuff. it's not easy to find out someone isn't who you thought they were.#he ends up 'uninviting' him (the guy i told him i dislike) from smth we were gonna do sunday. he didn't give a reason like i did#he just said 'actually something's come up and i couldnt do that' but later that day he ends up going to the HOSPITAL right#friend 2 does. he tells the disliked guy that's why he didn't see him on sunday. but now he doesn't believe either of us uninvited him#for sincere reasons. i mean i guess friend 2 didnt. but he's doubting friend 2's health in the first place#and he fucking doubted my friend going through a MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS who i was just trying to be accommodating for.#im so mad. im so mad!!! not everything's about you dude.#i had to get that off my chest. there's more but im just so mad. im kind of fuming honestly#ive been pissed off abut this for over an hour now i can't be reasonable about it. just fucking fuck allllllll the way off.
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yo9urt · 2 years
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happy :)
#mine#been talking to my crush more and more at work lately#getting to know each other a little bit#on thursday he told me he hasnt picked a major but he considered art#today i asked him a little more about it and he said hes good at it and i wanted to be like wow tell me more but we were at work#so i didnt rly get a chance#but he also said he was thinking about english major which is so cute to me i love eng majors they are my best friends forever#he said he writes too which is like. I Want To Know More.#also the english major thing is a good sign because it could mean 1. he reads & 2. he MIGHT be capable of critical thinking#and media literacy#i could not date someone who did not have those things.#i think hes been coming out of his shell on our shift and around me in general lately which is really nice#i am trying to do the same im trying to say hi and bye more often and hold conversations with him#BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE HIM!!!!!!! and i want us to bond#i kind of had a feeling that he had a silly guy side under the surface and i was right he has some silliness to him#also me and my other coworker chatted for a bit and we talked ABOUT him at one point (2nd week in a row)#and i just RURRRUGGHGHHGHGHHGHG. i want him#he lives rent free in my mind.#having a crush is so dumb. i saw him on my first shift today and when i came back for my 2nd shift (he doesnt work that one)#i was stressed cause its a busy shift and we had a fuckload of people coming ina nd eating all our fucking food#and then in my head there was that part of my brain that was like. think about him smiling#and i literally calmed down and smiled a little to myself just from thinking that. COME ON#AM I 14? COME ON.#so embarrassing.#i like him so much though#i wish he was my boyfriend im going to jump into the lake
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