#i mean sometimes it does pixel ghosting and flickers but i can at least see the damn thing

[hells-fvry]

uuggghh my stupid computers being a Bitch and blacking out the screen whenever i plug it in and its almost dead so i gotta use another one which means i dont have my icons >:c

[confusedunit]

The Other Side Looks The Goddamn Same - Chapter Five

Gabriel used to hate these dreams. He's always hated his dreams of the past, memories of a time when he didn't wish he could just finally rest. He'd felt like he was being haunted by the past, and given that he felt he was essentially a ghost? It felt a bit backwards to him.

He doesn't mind these dreams, though. They feel almost comforting.

He's sitting down in Jack's chair, in Jack's office, but the part that should lead out to the rest of the base is replaced with a view. This time, it's a sunset, and desert shrubbery.

He doesn't even need to hear the footsteps behind him. "McCree."

"Boss."

"Thought I told you to stay away." He turns to look at him.

McCree looks almost exactly how he remembers: scrawny but with some muscle, tall but casual, a smirk on his face. He's wearing his Blackwatch gear, but his cape and hat are replaced with a serape and the hat that Gabriel gave him before he left. "When have I ever been good at listening to orders?"

"Never in your goddamn life."

"That's right." He tips his hat. "'Sides, someone's gotta check in on you. May as well be me."

"Don't sound too excited, kid." He smirks back.

"What, and tire you out with my energy? No way, Boss." He keeps his smile for a bit longer, before it falls. "...What are you doing, Boss?"

He looks down at his hands, not surprised when he sees gloved hands instead of claws. "...What's right."

"You sure about that?" McCree walks over, resting a hand on Gabriel's shoulder.

"..." He looks away. "I don't know.

"Hey, I ain't here to judge you. Heaven knows it's not my place."

"I know, McCree."

They're quiet for a bit.

"...Should come look for me, Boss."

Gabriel's eyes widen, and he looks back over.

"Missed you, you know. Went to your funeral."

"Yeah, and your left arm was in some kind of sling, all wrapped up. Mercy must have-"

"Thrown a fit, yeah. But...what else was I supposed to do? Not go?" He sighs.

Gabriel's the one to reach out this time, pulling McCree into a hug.

He breaks, wrapping his arms around him as tightly as he can.

"...It's okay, Jesse.

"Is it?"

He sighs. "...No. Things might never be okay again." He gently rubs a hand up and down McCree's back. "But you can be. As long as you stay away from me."

"Boss-"

"I mean it, Jesse. It's not safe for you to know who I am. Maybe one day, but not yet."

"Who are you trying to convince? Me, or you?"

Gabriel is quiet. He doesn't know the answer.

McCree presses his face against Gabriel's shoulder, body shaking as if he's holding back tears.

"...I'm proud of you, you know. Always was."

He looks up at Gabriel, emotion flooding his face.

Gabriel wakes with a start, arms reaching out as if he could still hold his son. It takes him a minute to realize what's happened, and he presses his hands against his face to try not to cry.

-

Sombra smirks as she soundlessly follows her target. She stays several steps behind him, stopping when he does. "Jesse McCree."

The man sighs, turning around. His hair is a mess, beard unkempt, dark circles under his eyes. "Sombra."

"Ah, so you've heard of me."

"Hard not to in my line of work." He pulls out a cigarette, lighting it and lifting it to his lips.

She raises an eyebrow. "I thought you prefered-"

"Yeah, well, I'm fresh out of those and addiction's a bitch. I'll take what I can get." He blows out the smoke, watching it float away.

She grins, holding out a box. "I can help you with that."

He abruptly looks over at her, before glancing at the box. "...And what do you want from me."

"Nothing. Consider it...a gift."

"I ain't stupid, you know. I know you don't do 'gifts'."

She rolls her eyes. "It's not a gift from me. I 'borrowed' someone else's money to get them. So it's a gift from that person."

He watches her for a bit longer, before he drops the cigarette to the ground, putting it out with his heel. He reaches out and takes the box.

"These are your favorite, right?"

"What do you want." He doesn't even bother narrowing his eyes, just looking exhausted.

"What makes you think I want anything?"

"You don't follow people and give them shit unless you want something."

"And you," She points at him, "don't let people follow you unless you have a reason to."

He says nothing.

"Tell you what. Let's be honest. I'll tell you why I'm here, and you tell me why you're here."

"Deal." He answers almost too quickly. "Ladies first."

"Aww, how sweet." She rolls her eyes again. "A personal favor to a friend. He doesn't know that I'm here, but he needs this." She crosses her arms. "Your turn."

He's quiet for a bit. "...I wanted to ask you a question."

"...A question?"

"You have the most information out of anyone on the goddamn planet. If you don't know this, no one will."

She considers, before she nods. "Okay. Go ahead."

"What'll you want in-"

She shakes her head. "I'll put it on his tab. What's the question?"

McCree takes a breath, before looking right at Sombra. "...Is Reaper Gabriel Reyes?"

Her eyes widen. "...You noticed."

"Of course I fucking noticed! He practically raised me for half my goddamn life!" He looks away, pulling down his hat. "...He's alive. He's alive, and working for Talon-"

"Using Talon." She watches him carefully. "He's using Talon to get revenge. And then he's going to kill them all."

He stares at her.

"Look, I've got to go. But I'll keep in touch." She mocks tipping a hat. "Adios, Jesse." She disappears in a burst of pixels.

McCree looks at where she had just been standing, before looking down at the box in his hands. He adjusts his hat, before he heads off.

-

Gabriel's next dream isn't for a few weeks. But when he has it, it starts up just the same. He's in Jack's office, sitting in Jack's chair. But this time, instead of the desert, he sees the grounds of Overwatch's Watchpoint in Egypt. He closes his eyes.

"Gabriel."

His breath stutters, and he opens his eyes. "...Ana."

She smiles at him. "There you are. You can't hide from me forever, you know." She looks as she did before she went on her fatal mission, through there are bandages wrapped around the right side of her head.

He smiles faintly. "...I know."

She walks over and sits on Jack's desk, crossing her ankles to keep herself from lightly kicking her legs. "You've been busy, I see."

"...I'm sorry, Ana."

She raises an eyebrow. "You say that every time I come to talk."

"Because no matter how many times I say it, it will never be enough."

She sighs. "What happened to me was not your fault." She leans back, resting her hands on the desk to hold herself up. "How are you, Gabriel?"

"...Fine."

"Bullshit."

He looks up abruptly.

She rolls her eye. "You cannot trick me. Tell me the truth."

"...I'm hurting. Sometimes there's no physical pain, but the emotional.." He closes his eyes, shaking his head. "Some days I want nothing more than to join you and Jack. Maybe then...Maybe then I'll stop hurting."

"You cannot give up just yet, Gabriel. Soon, you'll see us again. But until then, you have a job to finish. And you've never given up on a job before."

"I never lost you two before." He sighs. "...But you're right."

"As I tend to be." She smirks.

"...Once I break Amélie out. Once I get Sombra someplace safe to hide. Once I destroy Talon. Then I'll join you."

"Don't rush. We've waited this long. We can wait a bit longer." She glances around. "You're waking up." She gets to her feet, walking away. "Good luck."

When Gabriel wakes this time, he just sighs, standing and walking across the room. He has work to do.

-

"I have to go." A voice echoes through the speaker that Sombra has at her side, as she sits on top of the ruins of the Necropolis.

"I understand." Another voice, younger than the first, speaks. "Next time, contact me before I contact you, okay?" She has amusement in her tone.

"Of course." The first voice speaks again. "Get some rest."

"Of course. Goodnight." The voice clicks off.

There is a pause, before the first voice speaks again. "Who is listening?"

Sombra looks down at the speaker.

"I know you are there. He is asleep. She just left. Who are you?"

"Observant." Sombra grins, pressing a finger to the communicator in her ear.

"Being a sniper will do that to you."

"Ooo, I knew I'd like you.”

"What do you want? Who are you?"

"A lot of people are asking me that question, lately..." She rolls her eyes, keypad and holoscreen flickering into existence in front of her. "You're the Shrike, right?"

"I asked you first."

"And I asked you second."

They're both silent.

"...Fine." She rolls her eyes again. "The name's Sombra."

"Talon's hacker."

"That's a bit strong. I'm not 'Talon's'. I'm just...working with them, for now."

"The difference doesn't matter, here."

"Look, Shrike. I'm just trying to see how you're doing. See if you and your weaponized raccoon with an America fetish are doing alright."

"Why do you want to know about me and 76?"

"Wow. You didn't even try to dispute that."

"It's hard to dispute a truth." She sounds minorly amused. "Or at least, a partial truth."

"Which part is the true one?"

"The raccoon part."

"See? Jokes! You can tell jokes!"

"Still-"

"A friend of mine is worried about 76. He's not been in contact lately."

"His secret contact."

"Yup, that's the one." She keeps typing away.

"...He is fine. Physically. He shuts down, this time of year. I will tell him that his ally is concerned."

"Thanks. That helps me out a ton. You have no idea how mopey he gets when he's being ignored." Sombra grins. "Hey, if you need anything, just contact me. You have my signal now, after all."

"You don't do charity work."

"I'll put it on my friend's tab." She chuckles. "Later, Shrike." She drops the connection, leaving the speaker as she teleports away.

-

Gabriel knows what's coming, this time. This time of year, he's doomed to having at least one dream like this.

He's in Jack's office again, but this time he's standing. The desk is broken, papers scattered all around the room at varying heights. The chair is splintered, pieces floating motionless in the air. The ground is breaking in places, the billowing smoke and fire below peeking through the cracks. The door is closed, and outside the window there is only smoke and burnt out wasteland.

He doesn't realize that he's shaking until a hand comes to rest on his shoulder. He turns, tears in his eyes. "...Jack."

Jack smiles at him. He's wearing his Strike Commander coat and uniform, but his hair and face look young, back before he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. The youth and joy are destroyed by the blood dripping down his face, the burns on his hands, the stains and tears through his uniform.

Gabriel looks similar. He can tell from the numbness he feels. "...Jack..."

Jack keeps smiling. "Hey Gabe." He trails his hand down to Gabriel's, holding it. "It's been a while."

"...I..."

"Hey, shh..." He reaches up with his free hand, wiping the tears away. "It's okay."

"It's not, Jack."

"It is, here." He gently tugs on his hand, pulling him after him. He walks with a limp, but the smile doesn't leave his face.

Gabriel almost screams, every step on his broken legs almost too much to bear. He gasps for breath, silently sobbing as he follows.

"Hey." The smile is still in place, as he sits down across the floor from the explosion. "Sit with me?"

He collapses on top of him, clinging to him like a lifeline.

Jack gently pets his hair, holding him close. "It's okay. You can cry."

Gabriel breaks, pressing his face against Jack's chest as he screams.

"I'm here. I've got you." He keeps petting, rocking them gently from side to side.

He shakes almost violently, screams dissolving into broken sobs.

Jack's smile finally cracks, falling. "...I'm here."

"You're not, Jack."

He sighs.

"You're gone. You're gone, and it's my fault."

"Gabe..."

"I should have been better." He tightens his grip, breathing roughly as he pushes his words through his sobs. "I killed you."

"You didn't, Gabe."

"My men did. They were my responsibility. You trusted me, and I- I failed you."

"...Gabe..."

"I killed you." He presses his face back against Jack's chest, trying to ignore the blood that sticks to him as he does so. "I killed you..."

"Shh..." He hums a tune softly, trying to calm him down.

"...It should have been you."

"Hmm?"

"Angela. She...she found me, remember? She brought me back." He shakes his head. "She should have saved you. Not me."

"Gabe-"

"Look at what I've become, Jack. There's nothing left for me. I'm killing those who did this to us, but that's all I have."

"You have Sombra." Jack points out. "Jesse's still out there. Genji probably is too. Angela, Lena, Reinhardt, they'd all welcome you back with open arms."

"But you're gone."

"Gabe-"

"You're gone, Jackie. You went somewhere I can't follow you." He curls tighter around him, despite the pain it sends through him. "I wish I could. After all I've done...I don't know if I ever can."

"Hey, shh..."

"I'm not a good man anymore, Jack. I haven't been for years." The tears keeps falling. "They wanted a monster, so a monster I became..."

"You're not a monster. You're doing good things. You're still fighting on our side, after everything. You're still good."

"I'm not an angel, Jack-"

"You were mine." He smiles down at him.

"And look how that went."

"...Gabriel, you can't hold onto this forever. It'll destroy you."

"Good. Let it. I already destroyed you."

"Gabriel..."

"I want to see you, Jack. I miss you."

"I know." Jack presses a gentle kiss to Gabriel's temple. "And you will."

"Soon?" He tightens his grip again. "...Please?"

"...Soon." He sighs. "But not yet."

Gabriel keeps crying against him, even as their frozen moment speeds up, the sound of fire and collapsing metal surrounding them. He hears screaming, and he doesn't know if it's his, or Jack's, or both-

He can't see. Everything hurts, everything is too much, he feels trapped but there's nowhere else to go. He hears someone shouting, someone far away, but close. He feels a shock of purple electricity, before he hears someone talking inside his head. He doesn't know what they're saying, but he hears them, and the voice is grounding. He slowly starts to come back, slowly realizes where he is, slowly notices who's talking to him.

He pulls his nanite cloud back, curling over himself, even as he doesn't reform. "...Som."

"Gabe." Her voice is rough, and she's leaning against the wall, taking shaky breaths. Her hand is still extended, and shaking, purple light shooting out like static around her fingertips.

"...I hurt you."

"I'm fine."

"...Why? Why did you come in here?" He compresses more, still a ball of energy. "...Why did you come after me?"

"You were screaming. It..." She finally lets her hand fall. "...It was worse than the other times."

"Sombra..."

"I...didn't know if you were going to come back without my help-"

"Olivia."

She stiffens, watching him.

"...I could have killed you."

"But you didn't."

"But I could have."

"I'm willing to take that chance." She stands up fully. "I'm not going to just leave you here to destroy yourself, Gabe. If there's something that I can do to help you, I will." She looks away. "...You're the closest person I've had, since my family. I'm not gonna let the last person I care about shred himself to pieces if there's something I can do to stop that." She takes a few shaky steps. "...Come talk with me later. When...when you're you again. Okay?" She looks over to him for a few moments, before she leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

-

"...Soldier 76."

76 is on his feet in an instant, pistol raised and pointed towards her.

Sombra raises her hands. "It's just me."

He watches her for a few moments, before he lowers his gun. "...What do you want?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that in that tone of voice?"

"Your reputation precedes you." He sits back down on his makeshift cot, sighing. "The question still stands."

She glances around, before lowering her voice. "...Why were you staring down at your gun, 76?"

He stiffens, looking away. "...I changed my mind. I don't want an answer to my question anymore."

"Well I do." She moves over and sits down on a box. "...76."

"Save it." He looks down at the pistol again. "I don't want your pity."

"At least tell me why?"

"I don't owe you anything."

"I'm the one who gave you all the booze you drank." She looks around. "How much have you had tonight?"

"Most of it." He sighs. "Not enough."

"Two cases of beer, a bottle of scotch, a bottle of whiskey, and a bottle of vodka? That's not enough?" She blinks. "How are you still alive? Let alone conscious."

"Blame it on all the experimental shit they pumped into me back in the military." He slumps over slightly. "Barely drunk."

"Were you looking at your gun because you're drunk, or because of why you're drinking?"

He leaves the gun on the bed, lifting his hand and shaking it slightly. "Little bit of column A, mostly..." His hand drops. "...Mostly B."

"Does the Shrike know?" Sombra's voice is gentle.

"She knows better than anyone else."

"About the gun, or the drinking?"

"...The drinking.

She sighs. "...What are you doing, 76? Does this help?"

"...Makes it almost bearable."

"...Reaper's worried about you, you know."

"I'll be fine for our mission in two weeks."

"That's not what he's worried about. You've barely contacted him."

"..." 76 sighs, rubbing at his temples. "...He reminds me of someone. Someone...I used to care for."

"...What happened to them?"

"He died. Because...because of me." He presses at his face. "Something...went wrong. I saw the signs, tried to protect him...but it wasn't enough." He hunches over, resting his head in his hands, around the visor. "He's gone. And nothing I can do will change that."

Sombra is quiet, for a few moments. "...I'm sorry for your loss, 76."

He shrugs, slumping over onto the cot. He says nothing.

She stands, silently leaving the room. She sends off a quick message to the Shrike, before she teleports away.

-

Gabriel doesn't know where he is at first, the next time. He's not at a Watchpoint, that much is certain. It takes him a few more moments before he realizes. He's sitting on the roof of one of Talon's bases, but the base is utterly destroyed. The only piece that hasn't collapsed is the section that he's sitting on. He sighs.

Footsteps slowly make their way towards him, before the man sits down next to him.

"76." He looks over.

76 gives him a mock salute.

"What are you doing here? You're not part of my pattern."

He tilts his head slightly, as if looking at him, before he shrugs.

"Helpful, asshole." He nudges him, before he sighs again. "...You've got me worried, you know."

He raises an eyebrow, tilting his head in question.

"It's been days since our mission, and I haven't heard a goddamn word. You got yourself hurt, and refused to let me help, and now you've dropped off the fucking map." He presses his hands against his face, groaning. "I don't know what to do."

"Come after me."

Gabriel's eyes widen, and he looks over at 76. "...What?"

"You said it yourself." 76 stretches, folding his hands behind his head as he leans back. "It's been days. What do I usually do at this point?"

"...Respond to Sombra, even if you're ignoring me."

"And what haven't I done?"

"Contact me or Sombra."

"Bingo." He sits up, turning to properly look at him. "You said I was injured, right? If I'm not responding, doesn't that mean something might have gone wrong?"

He stares. "Goddamnit..."

76 pats him on the shoulder, before standing. "Go on. I'll still be here when you get back." He turns and starts to walk away. He mumbles under his breath. "...Hopefully."

Gabriel wakes with a start, rolling out of bed in an instant. He's at Sombra's door before he even realizes he wraithed.

Sombra looks up at him, confused. "What's up, big guy?"

"76 is missing."

"...He hasn't answered your pings?" Her eyes widen.

"No."

"...Mierda."

"What-"

"He hasn't answered my pings either. Or the ones of my contact."

His blood runs cold. "Find him, Sombra."

She turns back to her desk, nodding. "I will."

-

Soldier 76 grunts as he's thrown to the ground yet again. He doesn't even bother trying to crawl away. It's not worth the effort this time. He turns his unmasked face up towards one of his captors, glaring as he tries to pull his hands free of his bonds.

"Aww, what's the matter Soldier?" He smirks, crouching down. "Is this too hard for you?"

He doesn't even bother trying to speak, he just kicks out towards her. The kick isn't far enough to reach.

He snickers, standing up again. "Wow. And here I thought you had to be something special. After all, the Reaper took an interest in you."

He freezes, focusing only on his breathing for a moment. "...What the hell are you talking about?" His voice is even rougher than usual, and he gasps for breath after his words. He's not used to unfiltered air, after so long of using his mask.

"We know the Reaper has his eyes on you, Soldier. We also know that he's been resisting killing you. So either he's not a loyal as we thought, or there's something about you." He chuckles.

76 growls. "I'm not telling you a goddamn thing." He winces, breathing roughly.

"Don't worry, Soldier. We have the time. Reaper won't find you. Neither will your little friend the Shrike." He grins. "So we'll take as long as we need." He turns and walks to the door, stopping with his hand on the handle. He looks back at him. "Hey, tell me Soldier. Would you starve before you answer our questions?"

He growls again.

"Hmm. Well." He laughs. "I suppose we'll find out."