#i mean. im 22 now. i sure HOPE my writing has improved

[destinysbounty]

....huh. So when I was 16, I wrote a fic in which post-Skybound Nya and Zane talk about their experiences with dying. Now I'm beginning to think it needs a sequel taking place post-Crystalized, where they talk about what it's like to sacrifice yourself, what it's like to lose your memories and forget your loved ones, to lose your humanity and sense of self, to become consumed by your own power, and to return knowing that you're not who you used to be anymore, and that your sacrifice is what caused your family to fall apart in your absence.

[alicedoessurveys]

Doctor Who Tag

yes im a nerd...

CHILDHOOD

1. Did you like DW as a child?

I was 10 when it came back on telly with Eccleston and the first episode with the autons scared me so much my mom wouldn't let me watch it again until a couple years later, but yeah my teens I was obsessed with DW... still am at age 25

2. Your age at the time of the revival?

10

3. First DW episode you ever saw?

‘Rose’

4. Did you have any of the toys?

I still have the eleventh doctor’s screwdriver... I used to have some of the figures but there in storage now somewhere

5. Which DW character did you play on the playground?

didn't play it on the playground

6. Monster(s) that scared you most as a child?

all of them! the ones that still scare me now are the Cybermen and the Autons... genuinely cant walk past a shop mannequin without being suspicious 

7. Joke/story you didn’t get as a kid?

as a kid, any of the innuendo type jokes

8. DW opinion that has changed since you were a kid?

idk I think I still have the same opinions

9. Who introduced you to DW?

parents

10. Did you like Sarah Jane Adventures as a child?

I LOVED SJA!! I miss that show, and Elizabeth Slade :(

DOCTOR

11. Who is your Doctor?

Ten was the doctor that made me fall in love with Doctor Who 

12. Your favourite Doctor?

omg why not just ask me who my favourite child is... (I don't have kids but you know what I mean) if I had to chose my top three are ten, eleven and thirteen

13. Least favourite Doctor?

purely just because he doesn't have enough episodes... nine...

14. Best regeneration?

none of them I hate regenerations :( they make me sad, im too emotionally invested in every single one

15. Do you like “Doctor-Lite” episodes?

they're not my faves

16. Who is the most human Doctor?

I think nine maybe? or twelve?

17. Best multi-Doctor story?

the 50th anniversary special 

18. Best Doctor monologue?

“Hello Stonehenge! who takes the pandorica, takes the universe. but bad news everyone, cause guess who? HA! You lot you're all whizzing about- its really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I AM TALKING. Question of the hour is, who's got the pandorica? Answer, I do. Next question, who's coming to take it from me? Come on, look at me! No plan. No backup. No weapons worth a damn. oh and something else, I don't have anything to lose. So, if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship with all your silly little guns and you've got any plans on taking the pandorica tonight... just remember who's standing in your way. remember ever black day I ever stopped you and then- AND THEN- do the smart thing... let somebody else try first.”

not copied and pasted, remember that from the top of my head... its always there waiting in my mind incase I ever need an epic monologue :’)

19, What do you think TenToo/MetaCrisis Doctor is doing now?

hopefully living his best life with Rose

20. Best Doctor/companion pairing?

ten and donna 

COMPANIONS

21. Favourite companion?

Donna, Clara, Amy

22. Favourite secondary companion?

is Mickey classed as secondary? idk

23. Least favourite companion?

Ryan

24. Best TARDIS Team?

Doctor, Amy and Rory

25. Most underrated companion?

Graham, but that may just be cause I love Bradders

26. Most overrated companion?

Rose... I like her but idk, I think she gets more hype than she deserves.. don't @ me

27. Favourite companion’s family?

Rose’s mom

28. Who should have been a companion but wasn’t?

idk I cant think of anyone

29. Favourite (canon or non-canon) DW universe relationship?

Amy and Rory

30. Who did you not used to like, but really like now?

wasn't keen on Bill at first but by the end I really liked her, same with Rory

EPISODES

31. Favourite episode ever?

girl in the fireplace

32. Least favourite episode?

most of Chibnall’s episodes tbh sorry not sorry 

33. Which episodes do you skip?

the regeneration episodes

34. Best two-parter?

Human Nature - Family of Blood

35. Historical, present day or futuristic episodes?

I like them all in there own way but I think present is fave, then historical, then future

36. Episode that will always make you smile?

all of them

37. Episode that will always make you cry?

Rory and Amy’s last episode :’(

38. Best run of episodes?

ugh I cant answer this theres too many 

39. Best cliffhanger?

the end of Spyfall part one when the Master reveals who he is... I was SHOOK

40. Favourite Christmas special?

Voyage of the Damned

SERIES

41. Classic Who or New Who?

new who

42. Favourite series?

four or five

43. Least favourite series?

eleven, I just cant with the writing

44. Which series do you skip?

none

45. Favourite series opening?

eleventh hour

46. Favourite series finale?

Doomsday

47. Best series arc?

Bad Wolf

48. Thoughts on series 11/12?

I adore Jodie Whittaker and her doctor, and although I think 3 companions is too many I do love Yaz and Graham (Ryan is hit & miss). I just think theyve been massively let down by the stories/writing... they’ve tried to hard to tick certain boxes and completely missed what Doctor Who is about for a lot of people.. an escape from the real world into these outrageous unbelievable but lovable fun alien adventures 

49. How much of Classic Who have you seen?

not a lot

50. Who should have had another series?

NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE 

MONSTERS

51. Favourite monster/villain?

the master 

52. Most creative monster?

Weeping Angels, whoever came up with monsters that look like statues and only move when you're not looking at them is genius 

53. Monster(s) that scares you most?

Autons, Cybermen, the creepy dolls from Night Terrors, the ones from Waters of Mars, Weeping Angels

54. Monster you think is too easy to defeat?

idk

55. Least favourite monster/villain?

absorbaloff

56. Monster you want to return?

The Master, I really hope that isn't the last we see of Dhawan

57. In your opinion, what makes a monster good?

being genuinely scary, 

58. Daleks, Cybermen or Weeping Angels?

Weeping Angels

59. Best Dalek story?

Daleks in Manhatten

60. Best one time villain/monster?

my brain has gone blank I cant think of an answer right now 

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

61. Torchwood or Sarah Jane Adventures?

SJA

62. Favourite Torchwood Team member?

I haven't watched it all so I couldn't say 

63. Which Torchwood death made you saddest?

again, not watched it all 

64. Do you rewatch COE or MD?

huh

65. Favourite SJA Team member?

Sarah Jane

66. Mr Smith or K-9?

K-9

67. Maria or Rani?

Rani

68. Do you read the comics/novels or listen to Big Finish?

Nope

69. If you do, your favourite additional stories?

n/a

70. Do you like DW analysis (video essays, fan theories, etc)?

yes

DESIGN/PRODUCTION

71. Favourite piece of alien tech?

the sonic, I love how it is so multipurpose except for when it comes to wood 

72. Favourite piece of Murray Gold music?

I am the Doctor - gets me pumped every time 

73. Favourite TARDIS design?

Ten’s Tardis 

74. Has the 2005 era CGI aged well?

actually yeah, I was rewatching the ‘are you my mummy’ episodes the other day and my God when the gas masks emerged from the faces... ooooooof I was like omg how 

75. Favourite Doctor outfit?

eleven or thirteen

76. Monster with the best design?

not really a design more of a costume.. I live Dhawan master’s costume. that shade of purple, oof he so stylish 

77. Best show runner?

idk

78. Best writer?

Gatiss

79. Best opening titles?

eleven’s titles where the Tardis is flying and being zapped is cool but thirteens music hits different 

80. Will DW age well/stay popular in the future?

I hope so, I feel like its lasted this long surely it can last forever.. if the writers don't fuck it up... 

IF YOU WERE IN THE SHOW

81. Time period you’d want to go with the Doctor?

whatever time means Id get to wear the most beautiful costumes

82. Planet/place you’d want to go with the Doctor?

Galifrey, pre-desctruction

83. Doctor you’d most like to travel with?

any of them, please and thank you

84. Companion you’d most like to travel with?

donna, sceso a good laugh but also I feel like she’d look after me 

85. Monster you’d like to defeat/fight?

The Master 

86. If you could go back on your own history (like Father’s Day), where would you go?

back to when I was a toddler, I wanna see what I was like 

87. If you could ask the Doctor anything, what would you ask?

theres too many to ask 

88. Historical figure you’d like to meet?

Shakespeare

89. How do you think you’d meet the Doctor?

id probably be rescued from doing something stupid and then the doc would be like you know what the bitch clearly needs supervision she's coming with me 

90. Would you travel forwards or backwards in time first?

backwards

IF YOU MADE THE SHOW

91. Historical event would you like to see in DW?

Hamilton

92. Issue you’d like to see addressed in DW?

idk 

93. Who would you completely erase from the DW universe?

Ruth

94. One unanswered DW question you’d love to know the answer to?

where is Clara now?

95. Actor/actress you’d like to see play the Doctor?

Phoebe Waller Bridge (or Lin Manuel Miranda)

96. Actor/actress you’d like to see play a companion?

Andrew Scott (yes I did just basically recast fleabag and hot priest)

97. Is DW “too political”?

series 11 got a bit like that 

98. Which characters fate would you changed?

Danny Pink

99. What about DW could be improved?

I think ive made my options about Chibnall pretty clear... 

100. If you could write an episode of DW, any ideas for what you’d do

bring back Jenny, the Doctor / Daughter adventures they would have. I’m actually writing a fic about it if you wanna read.... here

[greymuse]

Witchy QnA

1. Are you solitary or in a coven?

Solitary!

2. Do you consider yourself Wiccan, Pagan, witch, or other?

Witch, or Enchantress if I wanna sound fancy

3. What is your zodiac sign?

Leo sun, Aquarius moon, Leo rising

4. Do you have a Patron God/dess?

Nope

5. Do you work with a Pantheon?

Nope

6. Do you use tarot, palmistry, or any other kind of divination?

Tarot sometimes

7. What are some of your favorite herbs to use in your practice? (if any)

Im just starting to get into more physical items. I was raised to do most things mentally.

8. How would you define your craft?

Im not sure? Green but a lil eclectic

9. Do you curse? If not, do you accept others who do?

I dont think of it as cursing. More so protection from certain people.

10. How long have you been practicing?

I found out about what I was already doing as being Witchcraft a couple months ago. But Ive been using Tarot, using kitchen Witch spells, as “prayers” as spells since I can remember

11. Do you currently or have you ever had any familiars?

Nope. I hope to have one soon though

12. Do you believe in Karma or
Reincarnation?

Absolutely believe in karma. Reincarnation, possibly. Its definitely something I think about

13. Do you have a magical name?

Nope.

14. Are you “out of the broom closet”?

My whole moms side practices casually, so I mean I guess? But I havent referred to  myself as a Witch or something like that.

15. What was the last spell you performed?

I enchanted a ring I got. Also, a money spell that worked but uhh its definitely showing me that I need to work harder.

16. Would you consider yourself knowledgeable?

Im pretty decent. Most of what I look up is common knowledge to me

17. Do you write your own spells?

I havent yet, but I also dont do many spells verbally. I more so visually manifest

18. Do you have a book of shadows? If so, how is it written and/or set up?

I do, Its just a plain lil notebook, I have just some basic reference sheet type things in it.

19. Do you worship nature?

Absolutely

20. What is your favorite gemstone?

rose quartz. or tigers eye

21. Do you use feathers, claws, fur, pelt, skeletons/bones, or any other animal body part for magical work?

I dont particularly enjoy using animal/ human materials. I use natural things, like dirt and water.

  22. Do you have an altar?

Not so much a physical Altar, but my bed is definitely my safe space and I can clear my mind here the easiest.

23. What is your preferred element?

Water, but fire always make me wide eyed and curious. definitely curious. but its destructive potential scares me.

24. Do you consider yourself an Alchemist?

Not art all haha

25. Are you any other type of magical practitioner besides a witch?

Im not sure!

26. What got you interested in witchcraft?

realizing that I had been practicing for my whole life and I hadnt known before

27. Have you ever performed a spell or ritual with the company of anyone who was not a witch?

yeah, with my mom and her mom. I just didnt know at the time. We do protection spells often.

28. Have you ever used ouija?

yup! with my mom and her mom. Its just a family thing we do every time we all get together. I grew up thinking it was completely normal.

29. Do you consider yourself a psychic?

My mom says I used to be. I used to dream about natural disasters before they happened as a kid. I dont think im too good anymore. just empathetic.

30. Do you have a spirit guide? If so, what is it?

I dont think I do. If anything, I do feel a feminine energy? dark (like a shadow, not negative) and watery is the best way I can describe it. But its not a human  entity. Just energy.

31. What is something you wish someone had told you when you first started?

That not everyone believes what you do. And its totally okay! Just maybe dont loudly announce your Ouija board antics with your science teacher in middle school.

32. Do you celebrate the Sabbats? If so which one is your favorite?

I havent before, but im going to try to this year

33. Would you ever teach witchcraft to your children?

Absolutely. I want my son to grow up the same way I did around magick. Itll be normal for him.

34. Do you meditate?

Sometimes! its definitely something im trying to do more often.

35. What is your favorite season?

Fall and Spring! Theres so much change

36. What is your favorite type of magick to preform?

Im not sure yet! Ive only just started branching out and actually considering what ive been doing all my life as magick.

37. How do you incorporate your spirituality into your daily life?

Daily affirmations/ protection spells, I manifest me and my sons happiness and safety every day.

38. What is your favorite witchy movie?

I dont think Ive seen any haha

39. What is your favorite witchy book, both fiction and non-fiction. Why?

The Darkest Powers books by Kelly Armstrong. More supernatural (vampires, werewolves, stuff like that) but I loved it growing up.

40. What is the first spell you ever preformed? Successful or not.

Knowingly, a protection spell from someone who had hurt me

41. What’s the craziest witchcraft-related thing that’s happened to you?

Im not sure! I can see auras if i really focus and can tune into someone, so maybe when i saw a family member with a pure black aura? That was freaky

42. What is your favourite type of candle to use?

I dont use candles! Bonfires or fires in fireplaces usually, to burn a paper if needed. Again, I dont  trust myself with fire very much.

43. What is your favorite witchy tool?

My crystals and my tarot. They all have vibrations. Everything does but especially those, because im so connected to them

44. Do you or have you ever made your own witchy tools?

I want to!  Havent yet

45. Have you ever worked with any magical creatures such as the fea or spirits?

Spirits, yes. I can call on family that Ive known in person for protection. Been doing that as long as i can remember

46. Do you practice color magic?

I used to! i dont really anymore. 

47. Do you or have you ever had a witchy teacher or mentor of any kind?

My mom, aunt, and grandma! 

48. What is your preferred way of shopping for witchcraft supplies?

Dollar store, thrift store, antique stores (though im always hesitant to use something that belonged to someone else. If there isnt a close emotional attachment, there wont be any noticeable vibrations.

49. Do you believe in predestination or fate?

I think theres a general way that things can happen. More like a decide your fate book. There are multiple options, it just depends on what you choose.

50. What do you do to reconnect when you are feeling out of touch with your practice?

Meditate, or go to the lake.

51. Have you ever had any supernatural experiences?

ohhhh boy. I got stories.

52. What is your biggest witchy pet peeve?

People thinking theyre better bc they have a crap ton of materials, thinking im less than because I visualize easier than with material items.

53. Do you like incense? If so what’s your favorite scent?

I do, I just cant very often. I have a child and very smell sensitive people livingg with me

54. Do you keep a dream journal of any kind?

I rarely ever remember a dream, so no

55. What has been your biggest witchcraft disaster?

Im not sure ive had one yet

56. What has been your biggest witchcraft success?

I havent seen who i dont want to see since protecting myself

57. What in your practice do you do that you may feel silly or embarrassed about?

 Everything, haha. I think thats why I enjoy visualizing instead of rituals or verbal stuff.

58. Do you believe that you can be an atheist, Christian, Muslim or some other faith and still be a witch too?

Absolutely!

59. Do you ever feel insecure, unsure or even scared of spell work?

yes, I feel like it //can be// kinda like a genie in a bottle type thing. Itll work, but not without a price.

60. Do you ever hold yourself to a standard in your witchcraft that you feel you may never obtain?

Nope

61. What is something witch related that you want right now?

A cauldron to mix and burn things in haha

62. What is your rune of choice?

I dont know yet! Runes are something Im looking into

63. What is your tarot card of choice?

My birth card, the Tower.

64. Do you use essential oils? If so what is your favorite?

I love lemon and eucalyptus 

65. Have you ever taken any kind of witchcraft or pagan courses?

nope!

66. Do you wear pagan jewelry in public?

Nope

67. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your faith or being a witch?

No one that would feel that way knows anything about it

68. Do you read or subscribe to any pagan magazines?

nope

69. Do you think it’s important to know the history of paganism and witchcraft?

Yes. Its like knowing world history and us history, We need to learn from the past.

70. What are your favorite things about being a witch?

I feel powerful, and connected and accepted by nature.

71. What are your least favorite things about being a witch?

having to tiptoe around things around certain people

72. Do you listen to any pagan music? If so who is your favorite singer/band?

Nope! ill have to look into it

73. Do you celebrate the Esbbats? If so, how?

I havent fully figured out what i want to do for the moon cycles yet, but I definitely want to. the moon and water are so closely related

74. Do you ever work skyclad?

No, but i mean.. maybe one day?

75. Do you think witchcraft has improved your life? If so, how?

I feel like i have more control of how im able to use my emotions and feelings

76. Where do you draw inspiration from for your practice?

The energy i talked about before.. It gets more intense and stronger sometimes, and i know i need to put more time and effort into my practice

77. Do you believe in ‘fantasy’ creatures? (Unicorns, fairies, elves, gnomes, ghosts, etc)

no, but i do believe in energy. not ghosts per say but definitely energy

78. What’s your favorite sigil/symbol?

I try to make most of them myself. I have one for protection while driving that i use for me and my boyfriend a lot. And one for the safety of my son.

79. Do you use blood magick in your practice? Why or why not?

Not as of right now. I did bleed onto my tarot cards on accident though..

80. Could you ever be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support your practice?

Theres a difference  between “doesnt understand and doesnt care to” and “fully doest support and refuses to let you practice safely”. I dont mind the first, but wouldnt stay with the second.

81. In what area or subject would you most like your craft to grow?

Reading auras, and tarot. Also just connecting with nature more

82. What’s your favorite candle scent? Do you use it in your practice?

I love fall scents! but no, i dont really use candles

83. Do you have a pre-ritual ritual? (I.e. Something you do before rituals to prepare yourself for them). If so what is it?

Meditate and protect

84. What real life witch most inspires your practice?

My mom honestly lmao. i dont think she views herself as a full witch though.And my aunt

85. What is your favorite method of communicating with deity?

I dont worship dieties. But i like to just be in natural and connect emotionally, nonverbally to this energy Im somehow connected with.

86. How do you like to organize all your witchy items and ingredients?

In this lil wooden box my mom gave me for my birthday to hold the tarot cards my grandma gave me haha.

87. Do you have any witches in your family that you know of?

my mom. aunt, and grandma. I know my grandpas grandma was a voodoo witch too.

  88. How have you created your path? What is unique about it?

I havent seen much about nonverbal, mostly mental witchcraft. So i guess  thats one unique thing.

89. Do you feel you have any natural gifts or affinities (premonitions, hearing spirits, etc.) that led you toward the craft? If so what are they?

A couple things. Feeling vibrations, the connection to nature, auras, growing up surrounded by it.

90. Do you believe you can initiate yourself or do you have to be initiated by another witch or coven?

I believe you can initiate yourself. I dont feel the need for someone elses validation is i know my connection with nature is real

91. When you first started out in your path what was the first thing or things you bought?

crystals, lmao

92. What is the most spiritual or magickal place you’ve been?

The southern oregon coast. honestly everywhere in oregon feels so alive and vibrating so heavily with energy. The water and the lush greenery is perfection.

93. What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who is searching for their matron and patron deities?

I have no idea, I dont follow a deity

94. What techniques do you use to ‘get in the zone’ for meditation?

quiet, listen to music i like and that help calm me, slightly cool, a breeze is good. the sound of real water flowing from a lake or ocean. recordings of water dont help me. sometimes white noise if theres too much noise

95. Did visualization come easily to you or did you have to practice at it?

visualization is the easiest thing for me. ive always daydreamed so heavily that itll be like im dreaming with my eyes totally open and tracking. 

  96. Do you prefer day or night? Why?

early mornings, right as the sun is coming up.

97. What do you think is the best time and place to do spell work?

I like doing spell work before bed, when the moon is bright enough to light up what im doing

98. How did you feel when you cast your first circle? Did you stumble or did it go smoothly?

I dont know if it counts as casting a circle? but i visualize a swirling white ball of energy, starting out like a strawberry size in my hands, and every time i breath in, it gets bigger. Its a protection circle. i learned to do it at like?? 3 years old?

99. Do you believe witchcraft gets easier with time and practice?

Yup!

100. Do you believe in many gods or one God with many faces?

If i had to guess, id say multiple gods/ goddesses. one entity shouldnt have that much power imo.

101. Do you eat meat, eggs and dairy?

Ive been trying to go vegetarian, and i eat minimal eggs and dairy.

102. What is your favorite color and why?

dark, smokey colors. grey, black, dark muted purples, navy, smoky pink.

103. What is the one question you get asked most by non-practitioners or non-pagans? How do you usually respond?

I dont have many people im even slightly into that stuff, let alone a witch. So usually just “how do i cleanse my house? i think its haunted” type stuff

104. Which of your five senses would you say is your strongest?

Feel, haha, physically and emotionally.

105. What is a pagan or witchcraft rule that you preach but don’t practice?

Always properly cleanse new materials, haha

[saccharineomens]

I want to know all the answers from your 100 question meme

Something you find romantic? Answer whichever #'s you feel comfortable answering; I want to know all your inner musings ��

cat why do you do this to me

i’ll be sticking them below a readmore, then!

1.  Is a kiss considered cheating? Yes! Unless you’ve communicated with your partner that it’s okay.

2. Have you ever faked an orgasm? Nope

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Hmmm this is a really hard decision. I usually say telepathy, but I like shapeshifting, too. I loved the Animorphs books as a kid, even though I didn’t read them all.

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? Monetarily? Nah. But I like to think I’ll still have strong, rich friendships and I think I’ll have enough money to live comfortably alone. 

5.  Tell us some funny drunk story. I just don’t really have one rip. Drunk people are hilarious but normally I’m the DD. I’ve got several pleasant stories, though! There was a time me and my best friend went to a pub and drank cider and played board games and video games until closing time. Afterwards we stopped at an Insomnia cookies, a storm caused the electricity to go out, and we got a half dozen cookies for free. (well, I felt guilty, so I left them a very large tip.)

6.  Why are you no longer together with your ex? I was going through college, it was long distance, and I felt he deserved better. We keep in touch, though.

7.  If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? Well, painlessly, of old age, in my sleep, of course. But if that’s not an option, out of all the ways of dying, freezing to death seems the most humane. You just get tired, cold, and sleepy, and then you just...don’t wake up.

8.  What are your current goals? Graduate, mostly. Long-term I’d like to live with friends in a big house and my cat, and have enough free time to garden and craft at my leisure, and have the ability to travel wherever I’d like. I’d like to work on a game or movie I’m really passionate about, and I’d love to become a director someday.

9.  Do you like someone? I mean, I like a lot of people, but I assume this means romantically. So, kind of? I find a lot of people attractive and have a ‘if they wanted to date I’d be down’ feeling, but I don’t have serious feelings for anybody specific.

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you? Hmmm I have a terrible memory. Myself, perhaps? I have a really hard time with getting up when my alarms go off. Sleep inertia’s a big problem for me. This has led to me being late to classes and rushing to get ready, which is stressful.

11. Do you like your body? Ehhhh. I guess. It could be improved, like by not having health issues. 

12.  Can you keep a diet? Ha! No.

13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? I hope you have a wonderful day. The universe doesn’t care about us so be excellent to each other!

14.  Do you work? Constantly, every day. I work to learn new things, accomplish school assignments, make money, feed myself...All my life is is working, right now.

15.  If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? Salad! Because anything can be a salad. Tuna salad, fruit salad, salad with salmon...

16. Would you get a tattoo? Oh, absolutely. The only reason I don’t have any is because of money. I have like five small ideas and one very large one that i’d like across my back. 

17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? Food, my family, and my friends.

18. Can you drive? Yes. Do I have a license? No.

19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? Probably sometime in the past month by my mother, but she’s just about the only person who does.

20. What was the last thing you cried for? asdfjal;ksdjfs it was Treasure Planet. Jim and Silver’s relationship is just [clutches chest] so beautiful.

21. Do you keep a journal? Sort of, sporadically. 

22.  Is life fun? Yes!

23.  Is farting in front of people irrelevant? I mean, I prefer you excuse yourself, but more or less yeah.

24.  What’s your dream car? My sib got this really nice Prius used at a good price, and it has a lot of room and it’s a hybrid, so Nice. I don’t tend to pay much attention to cars, as long as they’re comfortable and low-waste.

25. Are grades in school important? I admit that they’re important to me, but that’s something I have to unlearn. My worth isn’t determined by other people.

26. Describe your crush. Ugh. I’m bi, guys. I get crushes on people all the time, every day. Saw this really pretty redhead in the cafeteria over a month ago, and I saw her again yesterday. She’s a couple inches taller than me and has really pretty curly hair, but I didn’t really, like, stare, so I couldn’t describe her face well past ‘cute nose’.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? Nothing jumps to mind. I guess I’m still falling over myself after seeing Mad Max back in like 2015, that was just the coolest experience ever. I find delight in just about every movie I watch, though. The second Jumanji-sequels movie was just as fun and amazing as the first. Klaus was just incredible in so many ways. 

28.  What was your last lie? I...really just do not remember. Probably telling myself “I’m gonna do my laundry today” a few days ago? Whereas I DID do my laundry today so HA

29. Dumbest lie you ever told? I saved this question for last and it’s late and I honestly can’t remember anything, asdjls sorry. My memory’s awful y’all. 

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing? Oh absolutely. I mean it wouldn’t be if they weren’t uncomfortable with it, but they always are.

31.  Something you did and you are proud of? I did my laundry today? washed dried folded and everything. I also braved the nighttime neighborhood around my school to solo a Pokemon raid, which was cool. I’m proud of my animation done at the end of the last semester, and of how my teddy bear modelling is doing this week.

32. What’s your favourite cocktail? How am I supposed to choose this? How can you ask me to choose this? I’d have to line them all up and try one by one, honestly, before I could tell you. 

33.  Something you are good at? I’m pretty good at drawing anatomy and expressions, I think. I’m good at baking/cooking, although I lack creativity in the kitchen. I also think I’m a pretty good listener, and a good friend? 

34.  Do you like small kids? Most of the time!

35.  How are you feeling right now? Frankly, a little drained with all these questions, but determined to finish them. I’m a little hungry. I’ve got a lot on my mind, and wish I was doing homework, but I also can’t get myself to do it right now. 

36.  What would you name your daughter/son?��Not sure! Every once in a while I’ll be like “ooh, that’d be a great name” and then don’t remember to write it down. Besides, I plan on adopting, and most kiddos already have names.

37.  What do you need to be happy? Money, friends, family, good food, and a place to explore. 

38.  Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? Not particularly. No one other than, well. The rich people I’m pretty sure everyone knows I dislike.

39.  What was the last gift you received? Well, anything my mom cooks for me is a gift, but the last Proper gift was from my friend @ wefflebugs , who got me a blu-ray copy of Into the Spiderverse and some coffee for Christmas  c:

40.  What was the last gift you gave? I gave my sibling @ aconfusedbird a keychain of one of the two Bubble Bobble dragons and kept the other for myself, for their birthday. Handmade from Perler beads. We’d play that game for ages as kids, and we always fought over who’d be the blue one.

41.  What was the last concert you went to? I think it was The Shins? They were so awesome!

42.  Favourite place to shop at? Well, I quite like Target. But I also adore small resale shops. They always have some really awesome things hiding there.

43. Who inspires you? Oogh, a lot of people. Like a million and a half artists I’ve met online, ones I only know their screenname for, inspire me to get better at art. James Baxter and Sergio Pablos inspire me to get better at animation. Wefflebugs’ art always has such lovely colors, which I adore. featherdragon15′s art has gotten a lot better lately, and that inspires me to keep working hard too! Not to mention they’re working for nasa which is rad af, and also inspires me to keep working toward my dreams. My sibling aconfusedbird inspires me a Lot in a lot of personal ways, like to be more kind to myself and to keep moving forward. My mom inspires me to keep gardening. roachpatrol/roach-works inspired me to get into welding, lizardlicks inspired me into wanting chickens and a small homestead. My teachers inspire me to keep working hard in school. 

44. How old were you when you first got drunk? 19, I think? I’ve only gotten properly drunk once. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat another boiled peanut, but other than that it wasn’t a problem lol.

45. How old were you when you first got high? I haven’t, actually. I don’t have a reason not to or anything, but it’s just never felt like the right vibe yanno?

46.  How old were you when you first had sex? I guess it really depends on your definition. Personally, I’d say I haven’t yet.

47. When was your first kiss? Well, I played spin the bottle when I was seventeen, which was technically my first kiss, but if that doesn’t count then it was about a week before I turned eighteen, and I kissed the guy who’d become my first boyfriend.

48.  Something you want to do until the end of this year? Play video games....I wish I had infinite time to play video games and watch movies and draw and just...enjoy my time on earth, you know? Without feeling like it had a deadline.

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? I try not to live with regrets. 

(50 is ‘post a selfie’ but im on a computer)

51. Who are you most comfortable around? Either aconfusedbird or featherdragon15, i think. 

52.  Name one thing that terrifies you. asdkfjal;sdf i’ve been listening to too much magnus archives and got recommended to ‘not be too scared of one thing’ if i want to avoid the creatures, so uh. hard to decide. I guess I’m scared of...hm. people who just lack the ability to create bonds with people? people who don’t care about other living things. humans can be fucking terrifying. 

53. What kind of books do you read? Oh, just about anything. Fantasy, realistic fiction, romance, mysteries, thrillers, scifi...all are great. I didn’t used to enjoy nonfiction but it really depends on the nonfiction.

54. What would you tell your 12 year old self? You’re going to have a best friend someday, and it will be everything you wanted. Things with your mother will improve when you’re in your last few years of high school. You’re going to become a great artist.

55.  What is your favourite flower? Not sure! I like many. There was this one flower i found in high school that smelled incredible, but I’ve no idea what it was. I should find it again.

56. Any bad habits you have? ...Well. Not waking up when my alarm goes off is pretty annoying. My procrastination in general’s frustrating. And, well, just between you, me, and the rest of the internet, (tw: self harm) my trichotillomania causes me constant distress and anxiety.

57. What kind of people are you attracted to? People who want to learn new things, are kind and compassionate, respect me, and have a good sense of humor. Someone I can be adventurous with.

58. What was the last thing you cried for? Well, i answered a similar question earlier, so I’ll answer for the second most recent time I cried. I was in Pennsylvania, the day I had to fly home, and when I went to check in for my flight, all the seats were taken, and I needed to pay for an upgrade if I wanted to guarantee a spot on the flight. This wouldn’t be a huge problem, except that for both of my flights to get home, an upgrade cost $70. And seventy dollars was a big chunk out of my budget for, you know, food. So I cried out of stress and frustration with the airport companies for charging me seventy bucks for ten more inches of legroom that I didn’t want nor need.

59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you? Not really! In terms of what’s normally accepted as “food” in American society, that is. I don’t care much for worms or insects. Other than that, I’m interested enough to try almost anything once.

60. Are you in love? In love? No. Am I full of love? Yes, for many, many, many things. 

61.  Something you find romantic? Oh man, anything could be romantic if done by someone I care for. I think gentleness is romantic. Quality time is my love language, so if my partner cancelled plans to spend time with me, that’d be romantic. I find romance in trying new things and going to new places.

62. How long was your longest relationship? Four months or so. It’s the only relationship I’ve been in, though, and I hadn’t intended for it to go past summer, so that was longer than I’d even planned on haha.

63, 64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? Opposite sex? Uhhh kind of hard to answer this one. I mean, i hate the culture in which men are raised to be, but I’ve heard that ‘male’ and ‘female’ brains aren’t particularly predisposed to anything in particular? Like, both men and women are capable of emotional intelligence and compassion, it’s just that our culture doesn’t encourage it in men. 

65. What are you saving money for? Food, college. I might treat myself to a school trip to Disney, but I don’t think I have the budget rn. As a student I’m kind of coasting by on the bare minimum rn, I don’t have anything i CAN save up for.

66. How would you describe your bad side? I mostly just avoid you or try to not spend time with you. 

67. Are you actually a good person? Why? I think I am. I care about other people and try to make other people’s lives easier and happier. I try every day to become more sensitive to other perspectives. I do what I can to benefit the earth for those who will come after me.

68. What are you living for? Ooh, deep stuff. I’m living for helping other people. I’m living for my friends and family. 

69 (nice).  Have you ever done anything illegal? Pfft, guys, jaywalking is illegal. So yes. I’ve also drank while underage before. But nothing really big, no.

70.  Do you like your body? Wait a second. This was number 11, too. Well, I guess I’ll change it to What don’t you like about your body? Which is my under-chin. It’s kind of a double chin, kind of not. But while most things I could change about my body, I don’t think I could change that without surgery. And yeah, I’ve thought about it. Not that I have any of the cash for it. I also wish I didn’t have (tw: self-harm) trichotillomania, so I’d have more eyelashes and eyebrows.

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? I think I probably have, to douchebags. Like “hey, that’s inappropriate”.  

72.  Ever sent nudes? Nope!

73. Have you ever cheated on someone? God, no. Big #1 no no for me.

74. Favourite candy? I RECENTLY DISCOVERED TAKE 5′S AND REESES HAVE COMBINED INTO ONE GLORIOUS CANDY BAR, SO, THAT.

75. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! Agh, okay. @ aconfusedbird, @ busket, @ loreweaver-universe, @ orange-plum. The four blogs I don’t actually follow, but whose blogs I visit every day. It changes around every few years. It used to be a different bunch back when I first got on tumblr. I really have no idea why I haven’t followed them. Habit, I suppose? Also, it still won’t let me tag my sib for some reason. (nvm I removed the tags, i don’t want to bother them)

76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game? lmao uh, that’s kind of an understatement. I can’t list all my favorite games, but I’m very fond of The Last of Us. I have played. So many video games. I’ll chat about them anytime!

77. Favourite TV series? Avatar: The Last Airbender, I think. It’s really hard to top that.

78. Are you religious? Does God exist? Not really religious, no. I do think that there’s probably a god out there that sparked the Big Bang. I don’t really follow the Christian God because despite what every church service said, I never felt like He loved me. Jesus was a super cool guy, though. If there’s a god out there, I think they pretty much keep to themselves. Maybe have some fun watching creation, but don’t really interact with it at all.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? asdkfj;as i don’t remember. probably my textbook Directing the Story by Francis Glebas? It was a pretty cool book about moviemaking.

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? I’ve reblogged a lot on the subject. I respect those who practice it, but it can cause a lot of environmental harm. In theory, it’s not bad! 

81. How long have you been on Tumblr? Like eight years or so? Maybe nine? wild. I visited blogs daily before the number got high enough i was like ‘okay i’ll just make an account’.

82. Do you like Chinese food? Oh, yes!

83-85. McDonalds or Subway?   Vodka or whiskey? Alcohol or drugs? Subway, whiskey and alcohol.

86.  Ever been out of your province/state/country? Yes, yes, and no!

87. Meaning behind your blog name? I’ve had this one for many years now. I really like the word ‘saccharine’ -- inspired by @ saccharinesylph back in the old days -- and i couldn’t just name myself ‘saccharine’, so i needed something else. and I was pretty big into Good Omens at that time, and I was like ‘haha! saccharine, good, omens. saccharine omens!’ Plus, it feels like a very positive and comforting name, and I strive to be a comforting person. 

88. What are you scared of? ok i def answered this moving on

89. Last time you were insulted? uhhhhhhhhh no idea. oh, wait! i know. i was getting graded on my performance at my job late last year and i disagreed with the grade my boss gave me. It was like ‘person shows considerable care of their community and goes above and beyond to educate others’ and i was like ‘oh yeah that’s, like, my whole Thing, my whole Goals and Personality and Ideals’ and then my boss came in and was like ‘2/4′ and i was like ‘wtf??’ Apparently she felt that i just wasn’t really applying that part of myself to my job, and i was like ‘you serious? i’m doing a lot!’ but also she’s my boss.

90. Most traumatic experience? A series of emotionally/mentally abusive things my mom did during my childhood. It’s definitely had the longest lasting effects of any trauma. Permanent anxiety problems, ptsd, my self harm, the whole shebang. Don’t worry, though, like. Things are way better between us, and she’s apologized many times.

91. Perfect date idea? Going on a hike! Maybe walking on a beach. Just spending time together and talking. Eating some delicious food. Spending the entire day with each other, then curling up and cuddling at home and watching a movie. then talking some more. lots of handholding and kisses. im a super hopeless romantic.

92. Favourite app on your phone? the internet, ofc lmao. But other than that I use Animal Crossing Pocket Camp and Pokemon Go an awful lot. 

93. What colour are the walls in your room? At school a boring white, although I’ve taped some art up. At home a really pretty light blue color that I did all myself.

94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? I do! And I like so many channels, honestly. I really like Rachel and Jun, and I really like Pop Culture Detective. I’ve seen a lot of jackscepticeye’s stuff, too. Proko, Vox, and Sinix Design are all good too.

95. Share your favourite quote. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.” -Dr Seuss

96.  What is the meaning of life? To be happy, enjoy yourself, and love others!

97. Do you like horror movies? Ha ha ha, not really. I liked A Quiet Place though. 

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? She’s cried sometimes over how she treated us in the past. Sometimes it happens because I talk about how she’s hurt me. She always expresses regret and apologizes again. 

99. Do you feel lucky or special in a way? I feel lucky with how I met my best friend. We’d had band together and kind of both thought each other as a cool person, but we didn’t really hit it off until a couple years later and she saw me drawing Homestuck fanart in Psychology lmao. The rest is history. Love you so much, Haley. I feel lucky my mom realized she was being abusive and stopped, too. Not everyone gets that. 

100. Can you keep a secret? Oh, definitely. But do tell me what needs to be secret, otherwise I won’t know. For example, my sib asked me to keep their gf busy while they bought her a present, so I tried, but then she was like ‘oh, where’s your sibling? we should find them’ i was like ‘oh no, i think they’re just buying something, it’s fine’ but she was stubbornly moving toward the checkout and i was like ‘stop, i think they’re buying something for you’ so i. kinda told a secret? i didn’t tell her what the present was though.

JESUS THAT WAS A LOT OF TYPING, LMAO. IT’S THREE AM. GOODNIGHT

[bloodstainedangelic]

My Experience with The human Condition

I feel like I should start writing this somewhere so maybe someone sees this and avoids some of the mistakes i've come to make threwout my life. I dont exactly plan on this being a autobiogeph, But things are confusing at the current moment. Let's get Started Let me start of by intreducing myself Hi, Im Roy Otherwise Known as janro a Afrikaans Raised South african 22 year oldAnd Im a Psycopath of sorts Now my Grammer or Spelling wont be a real reflection of my Brain so to speak, or my Character im in general bad with spelling but im good with words I guess. Im not a Psycopath in the general sense of what most people think , No I dont hurt people I have yet to murder someone in case your wondering. But I dont feel things like people should, Happiness IF you could call it that comes for me in the form of anger and immense moments of depression Tho im not sure what those Emotions really mean, Its the closest I come to feeling anything tho, Im not sure what anything is really, I find it impossible to learn anything from anyone, I think it might have to do with the fact that I usually Find myself better the work.Its a bad habbit because of that I learn to hate almost everything I do, Yet i Tend to be good at it, Everything ive ever undertaken ive either excelled at or simply never bothered to even try at it. I have no Motivation for anything It seems Pointless I dont see the purpose of running the hamster wheel of a life we tend to live, Im lonely So lonely yet I have a beautifull girlfriend thats wonderfull really. Shes amazing, A little one the only thing probably keeping me around my Beautifull little child. But that hurts me in the same breath because I want to see the world and expierence everything from every corner of the world in hopes that i find something that brings me Purpose, But now Because of her im forced to run the hamster wheel. And this is has been the hardest undertaking of my life. a year at college to get a Degree thats gotten me Nowhere and Taught me nothing, The person "In Charge" of teaching us" was so incapible him self I actually found it amusing in times so now with no Safety net noone to run to, No more Money to study Further, I sit here everyday Trying to find a job im totally unprepared to do. Maybe I am Ready but You see im intentionally or unintentionally self destructive I dont know, I cant afford to see a Therapist to try and deal with my Problems. If that would even help, So here i Am hoping some Stranger reads this and Borrows me a ear or some advice, Im trying to briefly Summarize my Current Situation So IF you're not interested in the full story Stop here. As a child I use to excell at everything I did at 12 I was already taking care of my Drunk of a dad, And teaching my Mother and sister how to cook, How to teach, How to handle there work and school life's I've always been the helpfull Silent kid that helps everyone els out with a smile but never quite getting anything in return, Well not In the general sense atleast. See I thrive on Others Emotions Im kind of a Morphic Person I adapt my Personaly and Characteristics to the person im talking to, So "Me" as a person my "Personality" Doesnt exsist its totaly Dependant on my current situation Because of that i've found it easy to Manupilate people Especially People who think they have the upper hand. When someones Following my Everywhim I feel this " At home" feeling And I guess because of this My life turned out the way it did. See for me Nothing Ever works out the way its suppose to, Im a Hopeless Optemist at time but its never worked out not even once, I've never had a plan work out before Yet I cant bring my self to "Just go with the flow" Because I tend to feel very little 99% of the time I've always been the calm and Colected person in my Family so everyruns to me if theres trouble or if they have problems. I'd love to run to someone I know for help right now, But I dont think anyone I know has the brain cells to understand the odd situation im in. Basiclly Im stuck in a puddle and ive got no way out. Theres no branch to latch onto no doors to open threres nothing ahead, I'd love to say all I need is for someone to give me a chance but im not sure I can get what they need from me done, Every Dream ive ever had ive had to toss into the wind because of one or another situation Either money family or loved ones. I feel like Im not good enough for anything anymore I've always had this rock solid self confidence lately none of thats left, Im the kind of guy that can write a 4000 Word essay on the spot usually and right now i dont even know what to write anymore, My Life is a Shit show right now, And ive got no outlet So im hoping this provides me some kind of support. I've lived a complicated live uptill now I've dealt With a Drunk for a dad thats sold everything ive almost every owned when i was living with him I turned to drugs to Feel something at some point But I litterly Stopped that Addiction simply by doing so much drugs that i'd be able to go to the hospital if i OD'd or Feel so shit that I can mentally start to restructer the addiction as a "Pain in the ass" "A hassle" It wasnt some Therapy or Rehab that helped me Just me simply Lying to my self and Ya I do get Cravings from time to time , But Eh. after that I spent 3 Years sitting at home trying to find a job And eventually after Interview and Interview failing I ended up Going to study and it this point im sure you know how that ended, And now im a Neutral Rock that cant feel anything but Crushing Self Pitty and Demotivation towards every daily act Its gotten to the point where i'd rather be hungry for 2 days straight then get up and make my self some Instant noodles or a Cheese sandwitch The other day I had such bad Stomach Cramps That i fainted, Probably because of the lack of neutrition but Eh I dont have the money to see a DR and I cant be Bothered trying to Improve my Diet as an Example I use to Weight About 90KGs Athletic Guy with Big "Muscles" I weight 42 KGs atm I Disgust my self when i look in the mirror lately When i see how ive let my self just Rot I honestly looked better on drugs Hell all the photos on this twitter I was high as all shit. I cant Off my self cause what about my kid. And That would be to much of a hassle honestly I mean ive been trying to kill my self slowly for years but still. I cant improve my life because I have no motivation And to improve it I would need a job and at this point I cant even remember what I had for Breakfast. Ooh And ive been Self Medicating with 7 Types of Anti Deppresants None of wich work btw All they do is make me feel "Edgy" when I forget to take them. But yeah I mean Shitts Tuff Im having some real "First World" Problems at the moment but to be honest i'd rather be in a warzone or some apocelyptic fuckery of a area atleast there id have a daily in and out and hell maybe the idea of getting murdered everyday might drive me to do something with my life althought thats doubfull But yeah if you got this far I think I owe you a Alot, and hell maybe you feel the same but I just want someone to fucking help me. I Feel fucking broken And I really just need some Help.

[themagiciansreccenter]

Author Spotlight @echomoon

Every week we are going to be interviewing a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.

First things first, tell us a little about yourself.

what up im jared, im 19 and i never learned how to fuckign read. JK my name is Theo and I super know how to read. Most of the time. Also I’m 22. Anyway I’m one of the more OG members of the Magicians fandom, having been here since back in the early days of early s1. Uhhh I’m nonbinary and hella queer. Metafic is my most favorite thing in the world other than puppies. I cry at least once a day. I have adhd and depression and chronic pain and hella other issues. I’m an anthropology major, in my third year. I’m a slytherin, an illusions discipline, and a pisces.

How long have you been writing for?

Since I learned how, basically, but I only really started posting things online because of the Magicians and also because of Twilight?

What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?

It’s the BEST and I find it very easy to write from Quentin’s pov which means I actually finish things sometimes lol.

Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?

Quentin, because he is essentially me if I was born as a cisdude except more repressed in terms of sexuality and also more wealthy, which makes him super easy to write and super easy to get ideas about. I also like Penny, because for some reason people think I’m good at writing him?

Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?

I write a lot set in the Brakebills years because I like the whole magic school thing and the exploration of magic and interpersonal relationships without having to deal with the Beast or other threats trying to destroy everything they know and love? Like I like that slow burn, spread out, things are happening but they’re happening slowly and also heres some meta about magic kind of exploration that that time gives me the opportunity to do. I think this is partially influenced by that the first book has them in that setting so much longer, and partially because I’m still doing the whole college thing myself and find that easiest to relate to (because no one really wants to read ‘Quentin working two part time jobs and struggling to survive and nothing else happens’ unless it’s just a tiny segment of the fic lmao).

Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?

Well, in regards to Magicians fic, I’m still trudging along on chapter two of Magician’s Path - I’m trying to introduce more of Julia’s side of the story as well as working on how to warp the two canons into each other while also making the storyline unique - and also on the next part of crazy/classic/life, my paradise kiss and magicians crossover au. I’m also trying to find the time to record more podfic of my fics, because I think its important to have audiofic available. But nothing new, just continuations.

As for other fandoms, I’m working on a HELLA long reworking of the Descendants universe (hi i love disney channel movies dont judge), and that’s my primary focus right now in terms of fic.

How long is your “to do list”?

Very

What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?

Oh heck, um… probably either all tied up or The Magician’s Path. all tied up was my first time writing PiV smut and also writing shadeless!Julia and I’m just really proud of it? And TMP is like, my baby, my huge multichapter canon reworking that I’m putting so much planning into and I’m always so excited to talk about it. I know it doesn’t seem like much yet but y’all I have so many plans for it and I hope you end up loving it as much as I do.

Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?

TMP for sure - I hope that when I’m done more people give it a try.

What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?

Ha my writing process is either ‘has no ideas for months straight and then suddenly idea when I’m supposed to be doing something else but I gotta write this down!!!’ or ‘one sentence every month at most’. Now that the FTB server has gotten bigger, I’ve found some people who will proofread for me, so there’s that editing process afterwards (thanks @oneeyeddestroyer for being the best beta).

I guess my only superstition is that if I’m doing a multichapter or big work I try not to give too much detail out when I talk about it because I get worried that saying about the plot too much will make me lose interest in it.

Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?

I do tend to write more when the show is airing, because more people are engaged and it’s something to fill the void between episodes - during hiatus I tend to drift away a bit and focus on other fandoms. This is the first show thats been so all consuming for me, I don’t usually watch things while they air because I tend to forget about remembering to watch them after a week or so? But Magicians keeps pulling me back and keeping me in.

As for ongoing canon developments, it really depends on the thing. If it fits into my plot of it’s a detail I want to put in, I might, but otherwise I’m comfortable lifting what I want from canon and throwing the rest out for a fic - we follow a show with canon multiverses, we can do what we want lmao.

What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?

Honestly, most of my fics? Because I try to improve every time I write and like, explore new things. So whatever I’m working on at the time is the most challenging.

Are there any themes or tropes that you particularly like to explore in your writing?

EVERYONE BEING HAPPY AND NOTHING BAD HAPPENING EVER cough cough I mean, um. I like meta, I like worldbuilding and exploring meta and seeing what I can change. I keep accidentally writing soulmate fics? So that’s a trend I guess.

Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Oh heck, so many dude, I don’t even know, I’m gonna just link you to my bookmarks because that’s the fic I love and probably unconsciously imitate on the often

As for nonfic, like I def want to write like Marisha Pessl or Tamora Pierce or Donna Tartt or Lev Grossman or Mark Z Danielewski but more in his house of leaves phase than his current stuff tbh or Neil Gaiman and also like. Everything that you read or watch or experience makes up how you see the world and how you create what you create and I consume so much stuff I can’t even begin to guess my influences beyond the little tidbits that I keep in my bookmarks or on my shelves.

What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Currently I’m reading a lot of harry potter fic - the mood is the department of mysteries or other exploration of magic, so things related to that. HP fic is my go to when I’m not revving for any fandom in particular. Nonfic, I’m working my way through Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, which is hella fucking good, as well as a bajillion textbooks.

What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?

Fuck canon do what you want

Cringe time:

Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?

Yes but now that you ask can I remember any? Nope.

What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?

Oh shit dude I don’t even know. The earliest one I can remember was this like, post twilight self insert fic where the cullens came to my middle school for some reason? I barely finished the intro of it iirc but it might still be in my stack of papers in my old room somewhere.

Rapid Fire Round:

Self-edit or Beta? Beta (always get a beta kids! They’re worth their weight in gold)

Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes? Comments!! (please, leave me comments, i live for them)

Smut, Fluff or Angst? fluff

Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn? Slow burn

Favourite season? All?????? Dont make me choose

Favourite episode? Im stuck between life in a day or all that josh

Favourite book(The Magicians books)? Probably book 2, i love seeing julia’s side of things and exploring hedge magic

Three favourite words? BUTTS, lore, hearth

Want to be interviewed for our author spotlight? Get in touch here.

[adminpoetryclub13-blog]

MEMBERS

Member count: 22

Giuls (president): Lover of everything pink and sparkly, I am the mom friend who makes sure everyone is well-fed and having a good time. I am the founder along with Amber and was elected president. You can find her @giulswrites.

Mira (vice president): 16 years old, from the Netherlands. She is a wanderer with dreams. Poetry to her is a way to express her imagination and experiences into words. Meanwhile, she is still figuring out her place on this planet. Also, she likes to draw illustrations now and then. She is an assistant for PC13. You can find her @blacknwh1te-cray0ns.

Lexi (secretary): 19 years old; from Germany. She is the secretary and keeps everyone informed. Also, she is in charge of reblogging your poems, so if you don’t see your writing reblogged please contact her. For her poetry is a way to experience long-forgotten feelings, but also get her current feelings in order and understand herself better by expressing them in poetry. You can find her @lexiklecksi.

Asa: I'm a 23 year old author with 6 published books, at least two more to publish by the end of 2018, and many more to come. Writing, poetry included, is a way of life to me. It's using words to create an identity. It's showcasing your affection, the things in your head, the light and darkness. It's observation, knowledge, curiosity, and so much more. You can find me @racksley.

Ash: Hey! My name is Asawari. I am 20 years old. I love to engage in craft work, and always challenge myself to do new things. Poetry for me is being in the moment and conversing with it , from messy hair to heavy downpour , chirping of birds to pillow fights , I just capture these in my words to relive it. I crave for peace and chocolates and believe in free flowing of emotions. You can find me at @beboundless.

Dani Sweets: I'm a writer committed to sharing and improving my craft. I love seeing what I can create and what I can learn to do and not to do from other writers. To me, poetry means release. You can find me at @unedited-emotions.

Dolores: A lost soul batlling rhymes and emotions one by one. Inspire and be inspired. You can find me @allisbullshit.

Estevão Fernando: I'm 20 years old, I'm a Law student and I just love writing and deep self-thinking. Poetry for me is like magic through words. There's no other way to explain it. It saved my life in the past and it keeps saving it whenever I have a meltdown, a breakdown or simply want to enjoy reading quality content. I don't consider myself a poet (even though I was told before that I am), just a writer, what for me is already enough to be who I am. You can find me @stoic-words.

Gina K. Judy: 57 years old; from the USA. She is a Chief Operations Officer of a large not for profit social service organization. Her pop wisdom style of writing is filled with experiences of personal great loves, humorous life moments, and more pain than Billy Holiday. You can find her @cocktailnapkinmusings.

Haseeb:  I am, what they would call, a child conflicted by terrible instances of the past, and monotonous noises of the present. Like all poets, I was able to learn how to channel this unfortunate circumstance into an amazing literary art; poetry.You can find me @darkenallhope

Hyuri: 22, black, and I'm a graduate student. Food, great tv shows(especially anything Shonda Rhimes related), and traveling, and are all things that bring me joy. Poetry is the way I express the truths, emotions, and feelings i'm not otherwise able to share. I write to distress and to introspect. It allows me to feel, process, and turn my pain into something beautiful. You can find me @invoked-emotion.

Isorosa: Night owl, city crawler, book lover, poetry is the only way I can speak to the world. You can find me @iso-rosa.

Kelly:  I am a mother of two teen girls. Newly hella gay lol have a beautiful girlfriend whom most of my poetry is about. Work at a soup kitchen and love helping people. Some say im a healer or an empath but i think im just kind 😘🤘🍑 I am 25 years old; constantly learning to cope with life while finding the joy in it. I love my mom and daughter. I love my cats even though they are stuck up. Poetry is an outlet, it helps keep me sane.You can find me @brnbabe

Linda:  I am 25 years old; constantly learning to cope with life while finding the joy in it. I love my mom and daughter. I love my cats even though they are stuck up. Poetry is an outlet, it helps keep me sane. You can find me @zestygingersoda

M’leigh: Hello I'm M'Leigh, I'm currently a freelance writer, author, and blogger. I love the arts; music, making art in different ways painting, drawing etc, but my main love is writing. In particular poetry to me is an outlet, "its like breathing for the soul" (from the show recess). Its were folks like myself can share their hearts and minds in a special way. My hope, my goal is to use my writings to spread Much Love and understanding to others as well as share my thoughts and feelings that may otherwise not have a voice. You can find me @mleighsquickspot

Manya Saxena: Poetry is a way of expressing my feelings. The lack of which has always been my major concern. It had improved a lot on my personal being and has added successfully to my personality. I love nature and everything that comes along with it. From human interactions to listening to their stories is what I love for.  You can find me @manyasaxenawrites

Marisca:  I am a very average human being that enjoys anime and movies in general. I am a massive Marvel fan! I like a wide variety of music (literally from classic to metal). My Saturdays start with horse riding and I also like running (horse riding and running both calms me down a lot). For me poetry is my way to show people what is going on in my cluttered head since I am not very good with talking about what I feel. In my poetry I usually show pieces of myself to the reader, whether it is a pessimistic out look on life (which is common for me) or the fact that I think love is very sweet. I nearly always show a true part of myself. You can find me @1blackwhiteblue1

Maya: I am a Tamil born American living in Mozambique and working in the health sector of foreign aid. Writing is my way of connecting with the world around me as well as the world inside. You can find me at @maya-doolali.

Rameshwar: For me poetry means the Expression of feelings through words. You can find me @ramschavan.

Sara: I'm an emotionally closed off person, unless I'm writing. It helps me feel and clear my mind, and it makes my feelings feel real and valid. You can find me @sacchareen.

Talha Nadeem:  I'm talha and I'm 15. I've been passionate about literature since the age of 13 and I've been writing since then. Poetry's a way through which I escape everyday turmoil. I use poetry to find out who I am, I'd call it my path to self discovery. I think every person has a way he expresses himself. For me, it's poetry. You can find me @talhas-thoughts.

Zashes:  I'm someone with a heart that feels a lot, I'm someone who loves to dwell in another world. People have turned cold and harsh in this world so poetry keeps me alive and warm. Poetry sounds to me like that cup of tea without which one cannot commence their day. It's special. I do not write to merely write, I write to exhale, to express and to set free all the thoughts that keep imprisoning me. Overthinking and overfeeling probably turned me into a writer. I may not write perfectly but I try to express myself so that I continue to breathe! You can find me @sparkandashes

Former admins: 3

Alexander (vice president): Ancient, godless, countryless heathen that writes poetry for the joy of magic. He shares the vice president position with Amber. You can find him @arcane-ethereality.

Amber (vice president): 17 years old; from the Netherlands. She shares the vice president position with Alexander. You can find her @a-holy-mind.

Rae (vice president): 19 years old; from the USA. She is an audiology (ear doctor) student living on coffee, chocolate, and hugs. Writing is her way of discovering, connecting, sharing, and releasing. She wants to change the world and doesn’t quite know how, but she’s on her way. You can find her @universalmemoir.

[dearestjaemin]

26 Questions for the Saniwa

a question meme i saw from wikia and wanted to answer it here!!! since this is where i mostly put my tkrb posts....

q&a under the cut!

Q.What is your name and which server is your citadel on?

A. 桃井　さつき　+ see battle record uwu;;;;

Q. When did you start serving as a Saniwa? Please display your battle records.

A. April 22 of 2017!!! I recently celebrated my first year anniversary and it was nice uwu

Q. Which starter sword did you pick? What is he doing now?

A. Kashuu Kiyomitsu!!! Um, well, he’s just there... waiting for his kiwame... Actually uwu;; I used him for a recent VOT thinking exp accumulates and carries over to kiwame! Did that to him because he’s the only one I wouldn’t get angry at haha

Q. Who is the first among your swords to reach the maximum level? What do you think of him

A. If i remember correctly, it is Hotarumaru!!! He arrived pretty early but I’m sure he got to 99 hella quick because of VOT AHHAHAA I love him!! He’s relatively fast for an ootachi + he’s cute!!!

Q. Who do you have in each of your squads, and how do you use them? If you haven’t unlocked all four teams yet, briefly describe how you plan to organize them.

A. First squad varies depending on event! (WTE is either all kiwame or newbies, VOT is tachi + ootachi; if it isn’t battle regiment?? all other squads are on expedition!) Currently: Second squad is 97 akita, 99 tarou, 99 micchan, 24 tomoe (extra haha a...) 97 yagen (for the naginata expedition!), third squad is for yari expedition, with 55 ote, 99 mutsu, 35 (extra) fudou (he levelled up by sheer force of expedition HAHAHAH) 99 ishi, fourth squad is 99 kashuu, 99 sayo, 99 kousetsu, 53 nihongou

if it’s battle regiment, it’s either all kiwame team again for first squad then the rest goes on exp. if not, first team is night battle, then tachi team, then uchi team.

Q. Without considering the performance of the swords, which type of sword do you prefer?

A. I love tantous!! They’re so cute huhu I also love my naginatas!!

Q. List the swords that you like and your thoughts on them.

A. i this is a lot ahahhaa um i love kashuu’s art style and everything about him. he’s so cute and im a sucker for his voice!!! i love my baby gokotai imma protecc him. I LOVE FUDOU i love his drunk self but i never knew i could love him more until he kiwame-d! i love horikawa so much i would give him all the love ;; I LOVE KANE-SAN he’s so handsome aaaaa and i like idiots like him huhu MONOYOSHI he’s so pretty imma cry for his kiwame ;;;;; mICCHAAAN i love his voice and his mom-ness. i love tsuru’s art so much!!! also such a playful boy ;;;; I LOVE HOTARUMARU SO MUCH bb rest well ;; IWAIWA i luv him so much ainsaksnaks and and otegine is slowly having a spot bcos i always hear him for expedition ahahhaha...

Q. Are there any pairings that you like? If there is, please list them.

A. Kashuu and Yasu!! I love these two!! KaneHori but also KashuuHori owo I love MikaKogi and MikaTsuru uwu MitsuKara!!! I also love TsuruKara hehe and IwaSouza!! (haha zoku’s tiny moment of them...) AND YAMABUSHIXJUZU BOI U CANT CONVINCE ME THAT THEYRE NOT CUTE and sweats.... a lot of tachis x saniwa.... .////.

Q. Is your Citadel an employee-friendly Citadel or a black-hearted Citadel that works your swords to the bones?

A. I- ;; maybe black-hearted? I only repair swords when they get to red for resource + instant token purposes (unless im not gonna use them for a long time) I do only work with gold troops because i think they deserve gold troops uwu;;; Or work to the bones mean fatigue?? I never let them out non-sakura fubuki (if you lose the flowers, you get to be leader!)

Q. Have you ever done anything weird to your swords?

A. I what?? 

Q. Have you ever broken a sword? What happened, and who did you break?

A. I’ve mentioned this a lot but I’ll say it again haha I broke Gokotai on a run on WTE Map 4?? I was at school (whoops) and I was playing during a seatwork?? since it only needed clicking. When I looked at the screen, Gokotai broke!! I didnt even hear his line! I thought he had an omamori but it turned out that he was the only one without it! I was horrified as he was already 90+ (ready to be sent out for kiwame! so thankfully not yet a kiwame) and i was near in tears! I got another gokotai and on the same day i level-ed him to 30?? ye. ahaha-

Q. Who looses troops the most in your Citadel? And who is the most skilled at making troops?

A. I think it’s Daihannya? And it’s Kousetsu! Or, well I believe he makes good troops...

Q. Have you ever done something with all your might in order to get a particular sword? Please describe what you did and the results.

A. Good story: I used up all my ofudas and resources were almost less than a 100k?? and it was night time already!!! God i needed to sleep. then tomoe came home!!! Juzu too!!! God I ran thru 7-4 long route so many times i think i 99-ed a set of tantous + almost another set of them before i got him uwu;;

Bad story: same thing and I was down to 50k??? yep i think that was it. koryuu still didnt come home. ;;

Q. Are you superstitious? (wwww)

A. I believe that Nakigitsune brings swords home as he brought Juzu home (and he brought Juzu home as well for my sis! Also Shizukagata for her!) Also back when I sucked at VOT, I believe that screaming beads repeatedly while pumping my fists helps (no it doesnt but well im desperate for an ichigo)

Q. What made you join the TKRB fandom in the beginning? How about now?

A. I saw fanarts of it from an artist i love and im like WHAT IS THIS?? at first it was only the game and i heard it was pc + jap only so i gave up. when hanamaru came out, i watched and got hooked!!! i then started playing. i stay for the art + i actually enjoy the mindlessness of this game. perfect for someone with bad attention span like me ^^;;

Q. What do you think of the current maps? Which map is good for training/grinding, which maps do you get lost in the most, which map do you want to burn?

A. They’re ok now that they updated the less clicking thing! I love 7-4, long route for my tantous + 5-4 for my tachis. I get lost a lot in 7-1??? and this map in 6... ID BURN 7-2 AND 7-3 WOW I LOST A LOT OF RESOURCES FOR THE DAMN REPAIR

Q. Are there any game systems or improvements that you hope DMM will implement?

A. I would mention the less clicking but they already improved that! Honestly the recent updates were real nice! Maybe something like auto play? Like it would only prompt you to click if there is an injured sword or cant scout? haha less clicking again ^^;;;

Q. If DMM cooperates on an event with another game/anime/etc., what would you like to see?

A. Since this is about swords, I kinda want something like FFXV bcos noctis and his swords... Or final fantasy in general!! Actually I also want Natsume Yuujinchou hahahaha.. and sanrio... ah ahaha.

Q. Have you ever spent money playing TKRB? Is so, how much? If not, do you plan to?

A. sweats... I’ve bought two sword slot expansion and two troop slot expansion (check the store for price!) Outside the game, I’ve bought some mostly Kashuu merch because he’s def my favorite!

Q. Is there any merchandise that you would like to buy or see?

A. Mini-sword keychains? haha or maybe a music box?

Q. Have you done any fanwork? If so, what?

A. I’ve written some short oneshots! It’s either here or on quidumps

Q. What do you think you are like as a Saniwa?

A. I think I’m the type who spoils them a lot (esp the tantous and anmitsu uwu) and plays along with Tsuru’s pranks! Maybe doting is the word? Ah some swords might not be ok with it but i might be cuddly! I imagine hugging ishikirimaru a lot bcos he looks soft ;w; ishipapa!!!! warm uwu also i feel like ill be close with micchan! i dont think ill get along with mika tho HAHAHA JIJI!!!! 

Q. If the government asked you to choose a sword to kill yourself with in terms of emergency, who would you pick?

A. hm... I would say it’s Kashuu because he knows me the most and he is the most mature among everyone. If it’s going to be a tantou, I would say someone like Atsushi because he looks strong emotionally. Emotionally, I would also say Kiwame!Fudou as I think he finally understands what it means to be a mamorigatana. (not imano... ill break his heart ;;)

Q. The government has asked you to write a report: how would you describe the situation in your Citadel?

A. Everything is under control! We’re fighting off the Retrograding Army quite well! Horikawa has Kane-san under control!!!

Q. What do you think of the Retrograding Army?

A. maybe if they were cuter... ah no haha. I wish they would tell us why theyre changing history >< And maybe stop for some time??

Q. Lastly, please say something about the TKRB from the bottom of your heart!

A. Thank you so much for existing!!!! I never knew I would be this hooked! No plans on leaving and hopefully it stays like that! Please stay popular so when I get to Japan with enough money I can support full on!! HAHAHAHAH

[kakkoweeb]

tagged by @atsumus thank you i see this is about writing and i love you for that

i,, don’t know who to tag WRITER FRIENDS ASSEMBLE okay maybe @karasunovolleygays hello i am interested to see you do this, if you haven’t yet

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

i formulated it for tumblr and and decided to use it for ao3 to retain my branding. it’s basically just, cool weeb idk it’s not even true but i’m owning it

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

that would be the multi-chapter i guess. though i do want to maybe someday do actual math like. compare the kudos/comment ratio with the hits and then calculate which ACTUALLY performed the best based on that.

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

oh it’s that one art i did of oikawa saying “4 YEARS WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER AND YOU DON’T WANNA SEE ME JUMP OUTTA DA CAKE” except i put a comic sans ‘excuse u’. not sure why i used it either; it makes me look sassy whenever i reply to comments but it got me a mutual (lolol hi vio) and people comment about it when they see it so No Ragrets

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

yES. the oikage ao3 community is so kind to me tbh ever since i posted my first fics. of course i love every single commenter i get (with one exception, maybe.) and i appreciate the diversity when i post non-oikage fics too. (those are basically my ao3 categories. oikage and misc JDFKSJD)

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

i reread my own fics from time to time for no reason and the ones that i come back to the most are from the p+c series i did for oikage week. i’m sort of proud of them? but i feel like they didn’t get as much feedback as i would’ve liked so i appreciate them in my own time. #2 and #5 in particular.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

i’m a picky person, so i only have 25 bookmarks, 8 work subscriptions, and 3 user subscriptions. the bookmarks and subscriptions may overlap

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

i am a private au royalty, and i have so many idek which to start, which i’m actually going to write, etc. i’m a sucker for complex and adventure aus, as well as the heart-wrenching ones

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

uhhh user subscriptions are 25, subscriptions are 86, and bookmarks are 331. doesn’t seem like a lot haha how dare you ask me this,

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

basically everything that i write yet don’t post. mostly because they involve my ocs. don’t get me wrong; i’m good at making ocs now i don’t mary sue or anything and they’re all really cool and story-relevant but people just don’t want/need to see that kind of thing, you know?

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

setting description, dialogue-heavy pieces, condensing a work to involve less words, romance in general u gh how an anti-romance as a genre person ended up here is a mystery to me, and just. writing in general. as far as i see, i still suck

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

rarepairs. i don’t think i’ve ever glorified a popular ship before. if ever i do write for them it’s just because it was requested or something.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

21

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

uhhhh last i counted i had like 30+ non-drabble/short WIPs but that was last year. a lot has happened since then adfjsdkf

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

my head can’t remember what day it is, so i write em down. 

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

nope (i want to tho)

16. How did you discover AO3?

tumblr, i would think, back when i was still fixated on dmmd.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

HAHAHAHA no

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

nope lmfao but i could. because i am kakkoweeb from now on y’all are The Weeb Shits djdkf im joking of course. does anyone other than youtubers even do that?

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

when i was eight years old, i think that would be anne mazer. right now, i’m inspired by my favourite fic authors bECAUSE THEY’RE ALL SO GOOD i’d name drop/tag but i’m embarrassed haha,, basically take a good look at my bookmarks you’ll know who they are

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

everyone has to start somewhere, and i think a pretty good start before the actual writing is reading. reading is where the whole thing begins, and from it you can get ideas and styles and words, and develop your way of thinking. as for actual writing: it’s important not to pressure yourself to be really really good and that you find ways to have fun with it. write for your own reasons. look to improvement, but not to the point that it’s all you care about. it’s normal to get stuck, it’s normal to go slow. but if you really love it, don’t quit. keep writing and you’ll never go wrong. oh, and editing is your friend.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

definitely plot out. it’s going to be impossible for me to remember everything on the fly, and ideas pop out at random times in the day and i can’t discard them, so each story has a plan. the level of detail depends on the complexity and my own creative ability at any given moment. sometimes tho i get ideas midway through speed-typing and just go with them.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

no, not really bad. some kind of off-topic, yes, but not bad. i just don’t reply.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

romantic things in general. the emotions and sensations that come with touch and affection, because i don’t write those based on experience.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

…a lot. just. a lot.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

bruh yeah. i even have projects that have spinoffs/sequels where i want to write the sequels before the actual project 

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

ideally, that would be to write and then feel satisfied with what i’ve written, in terms of the degree of accomplishment (did i just finish a subsection or a chapter? get past a part where i was stuck?) and the quality. most days, it’s too high a goal.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

infinitely, yes. it’d be a little embarrassing if i didn’t improve since childhood

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

i,, i don’t know, i like and hate them all to some degree lmfao

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

:)))) i don’t want to talk about it. if you read my writing journal though, you might be able to tell what it is.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

hopefully finished with a couple of things, still writing, and maybe with some writer friends? I HOPE AND CREI

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

…finding a word processor. LMAO idk each aspect has its own easy and hard moments depending on the type of project you’re working on. getting excited about an idea, maybe? that’s easy

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

writing

33. Why do you write?

because i have been for years and don’t know how to do anything else, and because i want to be the content i want to see in the world. also because i have like 34838 worlds in my head and need a medium for all of them 

[miraimisu]

Ask a Writer!

Tagged by the lovely @i-masshiro​, thanks babe! Love you tons, such a sweetheart D’: 

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

It doesn’t mean anything in particular! An old best friend of mine helped me pick it up when I was struggling with new decent nicknames. This is the one I use for all my accounts now.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/favorites, follows/subscriptions, visitor hits, kudos)

These Stones We Skip, definitely. It’s got like 90 comments (half of them me responding to those, so it’s narrowed down to 45 haha) +2k hits, 100 kudos more or less, and a bunch of bookmarks! I’m super happy with how the fic is being read and that people like it this much! Also if anyone waiting for an update is reading pls forgive me I’ve been busy I promise I will update pls don’t sue ;;.

3. What is your FFnNet/AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

Actually, I think all my icons are Uraraka icons, excepting the one I got for FF.net which is actually Asuna from SAO. Last time I updated the page I was heavily into SAO so... pretty self-explanatory. My love for Uraraka needs no explanations either.

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

I do! And most of them are an incredibly fun bunch of them. Long, usual commenters are my shit, not gonna lie. Although I have lost some of them as my updates have become slower, but I hope they come to read someday.

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

Not really, unless it’s for some kind of reference. There was this line I hit where my style got smoother and a bit more polished, but from there below it’s kind of rubbish and I can’t read anything. All good things I write I can’t usually read because of self-awareness.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

None and none lmao, I always drop kudos but I don’t think I have ever bookmarked anything, nor subscribed to because I don’t really have much time to check out stuff-- and when I do, I totally binge read it.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

Fantasy AU because it’s consumed my life now.

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

I got 10 subscriptions on AO3 and 60 bookmarks!

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

I would like to someday find the strength to write something venty someday, as I recently found out I somehow write much better and feel more satisfied when I vent my anger on writing. Something that doesn’t happen really often, but it happens and it’s great therapy!

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

Tons of things, most particular. I would like to become less paranoid over people not seeing my scenarios, thus making my style less complex to the untrained eye. Also, fighting scenes make me cringe because I suck so hard at making them depsite having clear pictures in my head /cries. 

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

I am now very focused on Kacchako and iirc ir used to be a rarepair? but I think it will break out of that zone soon.

12. How many stories have you posted on FFNet/AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

3 on AO3, and 31 on FF.net. 

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

Tons of them that sounded great in my head. It’s that small snapping process of realizing a powerful story is too weak to be posten, and kinda let it rest.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

I keep them in my head and plan to write them. Only the fantasy AU for kacchako has made it out of my head, lol.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

Yes, and it was a wonderful experience.

16. How did you discover FFNet/AO3?

Weirdly enough, from DeviantArt! I would usually go there searching for art pieces and found some deep small fics, whose authors would usually have a FF.net account. I only knew of AO3 last year, but I think I read one a bit before that. Not exactly sure when.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on FFNet/AO3?

Not at all, there is too many talented people in this damn kaccha house  (⁎˃ᆺ˂) they are all so good jdskak

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

People usually call me Mira, but use others for Discord. 

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

Lots of them! Every author that lies in my recs gallery has inspired me in one way or another. Though that place is kinda outdated so I may have to add some more, but all my friends have inspired me overall. They are all wonderful writers and artists and it’s amazing to be so surrounded.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Don’t feel pushed to write queality straightaway, and always read other stuff to build new vocab and structures. Everytime you read, you will most likely learn something new as every author’s view gives you a new perspective on things. I have found it to be a great practice!

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

Plot, always. Everytime I am listening to music and come up with a new snippit, I jot it down anywhere I can. Google’s Keep is a pretty nifty tool for this!

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

Well, I only got maybe two! One of them was pretty lukewarm and more of an advice that I followed, and it was a good one despite the harshness of it. On the other hand, I got one comment that told me they were giving up on my story because it was too thick style and lore wise, but I didn’t mind at all tbh-- I already knew I was facing these kinds of risks when I started writing long things like these.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

Fighting scenes in general kind of take a lot of time for me to work with, and same with some simply dialogue bits that I am like: and what now!? D:

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

My fantasy AU! pls if sb is reading Im sorry I will update soon don’t press charges thank

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

I usually jot the deets down and push it aside until I am done with my main thing. It’s probably my best habit when it comes to planning, lol.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

Not really. I usually try to plan when I wanna update, divide my chap’s aproximate word count and split it in days!

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Oof, definitely. Mostly because my English has improved along with my writing and that helps. A lot.

28. What is your favorite story(s) that you’ve written?

I did write one in Spanish that got lots of good feedback and invested readers, and I had a blast writing its lore and characters.

29. What is your least favorite story(s) that you’ve written?

I wrote a pretty dark fic once and it’s a fic I know I wrote well? but I am kinda ashamed of looking back at it.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

Maybe working on something that is a little bit more professional, or just enjoying myself. Got no clue tbh.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

I think I can be pretty ominous in some parts and be very subtle with foreshadowing. The art of subtlety is something I worship everyday.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Trying to live up to those little scenes I had in my head, and writing them as good as possible. And description in general, sometimes. And word count consistency is something that worries me sometimes. Oh, and the endless fear of poking a plothole bigger than a damn blackhole.

33. Why do you write?

To make people entertained and happy if they want something to read!

I nominate the great artists and gals @animeniac​, @kacchanswife​, @hondaroo​, @kacchas​ and @liltoothbrush​! If you don’t reply I’ll press charges so hahaha! 

[jemsboner]

post lord of shadows thoughts and predictions

okay time to round up all this shit in one post. this is still all over the place though sorry, it’s in no order just writing shit down as it comes to me. this is going to be super long and spoilery so it’s under a read more

1. I enjoyed Lord of Shadows much more than Lady Midnight. LM was good but it felt very bogged down in character and plot introduction, not its fault it had a lot to introduce lmao. Wasn’t super excited to read los after lm cause it wasn’t that memorable, but now I’m dying for Queen of Air and Darkness. 2. Since LM was (I’m pretty sure been a while) told exclusively through the older kids povs, ty and livvy felt super young despite only be 2 years younger than Julian and Emma, but they really felt like teenagers who are just tired of being treated and seen as children in this one. 3. Um I really feel for Malcolm. Like a lot. Listen I know he went a little of the deep end there, but no one could argue against that he loves Annabel more than anything. All the diary entries and the house he built for them honestly kill me. I really don’t believe he left her alone on purpose which makes me sad because Annabel died believing he betrayed her and that was one of the reasons she killed him. I’m excited to see him before he knew the truth about Annabel in TLH. 4. Speaking of Annabel holy shit. Something is definitely not right with her. I like how powerful she is and she was pretty endearing at the end, she actually kind’ve reminds me of cecily. also I’m dying cause I just remembered while writing this that everyone thought that Livvy looked alike Annabel kill me. I definitely didn’t think she meant to do what she did at the end, obvs an explanation is not an excuse 😏, but she lashes out and then gets scared. she seems to regret killing livvy the moment after it happens and I’m interested to see how this affects her. 5. So I guess with no inquisitor that exile thing is not gonna work. but I still believe that cortana will have something to do with breaking the parabatai bond…it can cut through anything after all. 6. Speaking of cutting through anything EMMA FUCKING BROKE THE MORTAL SWORD. LIKE THAT CAN NOT BE GOOD AT ALL. AND WHAT WAS THAT BLACK SHIT INSIDE OF IT??? 7. I’m scared what Livvy’s death is going to do to Julian because the guy has really been slipping down the mental health slope for a while now. not gonna lie, Julian was TERRIFYING in this book. he really doesn’t give a shit about anyone that isn’t Emma or family. also the red flag for me was when him and Emma were arguing and he smashed that glass, like that is not a good way to take out your anger, but I mean Emma immediately puts a hole in the wall so they’re both not the best examples for how to act in a healthy relationship. also, despite what he told Emma, he seems to be absolutely fine with breaking every other parabatai bond just to be with Emma. listen I love Julian but he seems to be slipping a lil into antagonist territory. 8. Not that Emma wasn’t cutthroat either. she didn’t even consider mercy when it came to Annabel, she was gonna slice right through her, u know until the unseelie king spirited her away. 9. Kit and Ty were adorable. also has it been confirmed that they’re the Wicked Power protagonists? because if not I’m p sure they are. 10. I was so happy to be back at the London Institute. I loved all the little tid and tlh hints everywhere (jem and will’s height charts 😭😭😭) um so Bridget is still super alive somehow uuuuhh?? how??? jessamine is a darling brat as usual. love her. also that line where Magnus said they weren’t the first to think to burn down the blackthorn manor?? tlh reference maybe? 11. while Mark/Emma will always hold a place in my heart I really warmed up to Emma/Julian and Mark/Cristina/Kieran. btw I really feel like that’s gonna end in polyamory, I think cc has been wanting to write and actual poly relationship ( I love herongraystairs but I don’t think it technically counts going by only canon) for a while now, and while only Mark/Cristina and Mark/Kieran were introduced in lm, Cristina and Kieran def gotta a lot closer in this book and seemed to have a lot of romantic tension. anyway new ot3. 12. if u know anything about me u know I’M A SLUT FOR JEM AND TESSA. anytime they were mentioned I started breathing heavy. still sad they didn’t actually appear in this one, but it seems set up for them to appear in the final one speaking of… 13. listen I love Magnus and I want no harm to come to him but TESSA IS SICK I CANT DEAL WITH THIS. LIKE CAN HER AND JEM JUST BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY WITHOUT SOME INCURABLE ILLNESS HANGING OVER THEM. and like what other warlocks have been affected??? IS CATARINA OKAY? 14. y'all that guy with green skin has gotta be ragnor there is not doubt in my mind. cc has always regretted killing him and I’ve been waiting for this tree colored man to return for a while now. I want to know why he’s in hiding tho and he like bolted when Magnus showed up on the scene. 15. EY YO FUCK THE COHORT AND FUCK ZARA. at first I thought they were a little too cartoony of villains, like there was no complexity to them, they just seem like straight up douche nozzles all the time, but then I remembered that they’re based off real issues right now and people really do think like this sooo. but like Zara is absolutely the worst, how dare and her awful buddies talk shit to my children. everytime anything came out of her mouth I was like-LETS GO. OUTISDE. RIGHT NOW. TRIAL BY COMBAT, YOU LYING SNAKE. 16. I really loved the seelie and unseelie courts and their differences. like I agree cc is a little long winded, but her writing has greatly improved since CoB and it really showed in this one for me. I like the unseelie king and I hope we get to see more of him in the next book, and maybe more of Kieran’s brothers, wouldn’t want to let all those cute faerie boys go to waste. 17. as much as I hate to say it, I’m p sure that the seelie court member that was stolen by the unseelie was Sebastian’s and the seelie queen’s kid. LIKE I HOPE IM SO WRONG AND THAT THAT FUCKING KID DOESNT EXIST BUT ALL SIGNS SEEM TO BE POINTING TO HELL CHILD. 18. speaking of Sebastian, the way cc was talking about him before los came out, I was really expecting something big about him to happen, like his ghost (or demon seed ugh) he was barely even mentioned except closer to the end there. 19. oh yeah I can’t believe Clary’s dead???? like I’ve never been a big fan of clary or jace but the way she talked about like she’s already accepted it killed me. like if this happens it’s going to ruin jace. 20. I’ve become very endeared to Dru throughout los, I think she’s my fav blackthorn besides Julian. she’s chubby which is fucking GREAT and tho the whole pretend I’m not 13 thing with Jaime made me a lil uncomfy, he didn’t really flirt with her or anything and their friendship was really cute. it seems to me cc is setting her up with that Ash kid that appeared for 2 seconds. YO @emmascxrstairs JUST ROCKED MY WHOLE WORLD AND SAID THAT ASH IS THE DEMON SPAWN AND IM MAD BECAUSE OF COURSE HE IS LMAO FLEW RIGHT PAST ME. 21. that’s one thing that kills me with cc books, is that other than the main romances it’s usually super easy to tell who ends with who, and that she feels the need to pair EVERYONE OFF. lmao I was actually wondering why a love interest hadn’t been introduced for Livvy yet (Kit doesn’t count cause after that first kiss, it was real obvs him and ty were gonna be the thing) and then she died and I was like…oh…that’s why. 22. like many predicted, Diana is trans and im crying she’s amazing. her and Gwyn caught me off guard but I’m not gonna lie, they’re really cute. 23. also omg I just thought with livvy dying, what if Julian blames it on himself and the parabatai curse kill me. 24.so yeah all in all 👌👌👌 very good would recommend. now time to get fucking pumped for the last hours

[i-smile-so-i-must-be-fine]

1: My name? jess

2: Do I have any nicknames? lilo, babe, baby

3: Zodiac sign? virgo 

4: Video game I play to chill, not to win? none 

5: Book/series I reread? none 

6: Aliens or ghosts? ghosts

7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write?

8: Favourite radio station? capital fm or smooth 

9: Favourite flavour of anything? hmm strawberry

10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? amazing 

11: Favourite song? stitches - shawn mendes 

12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? lol don’t really make new friends often 

13: Favourite word? depends on my mood what i use the most 

14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? no 

15: Last song I listened to? turn me on - riton 

16: TV show I always recommend? never really recommend anything 

17: Pirates or ninjas? pirates 

18: Movie I watch when I’m feeling down? perks of been a wallflower or fault in our stars

19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? again depends on my mood

20: Favourite video games? none

21: What am I most afraid of? my girl dying or been left 

22: A good quality of mine? i care soooo much about others 

23: A bad quality of mine? paranoia/jealousy 

24: Cats or dogs? cats

25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in? don’t really know 

26: Favourite season? autumn 

27: Am I in a relationship? yep 

28: Something I miss? been able to just go to my girls house or have her come to me 

29: My best friend? does my fiancee count.. other than that don’t have one 

30: Eye colour? green/brown they change colour 

31: Hair colour? brown

32: Someone I love? my girl and our son 

33: Someone I trust? my girl 

34: Someone I always think about? my girl and our son 

35: Am I excited about anything? seeing my girl on wednesday 

36: My current obsession? don’t currently have one 

37: Favourite TV shows as a child? lizzy mcguire 

38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? no 

39: Am I superstitious? not really

40: What do I think about most? ...

41: Do I have any strange phobias? no 

42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? behind 

43: Favourite hobbies? listening to music/ watching netflix 

44: Last book I read? can’t remember what its called but i need to finish reading it 

45: Last film I watched? a star is born 

46: Do I play any instruments? no 

47: Favourite animal? tiger

48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow?

49: Superpower I wish I could have? wish i could have three.. invisibility, fly, read minds 

50: How do I destress? i don’t 

51: Do I like confrontation? no 

52: When do I feel most at peace? with my girl 

53: What makes me smile? my girl and our son 

54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? off

55: Play any sports? used to 

56: What is my song of the week? don’t have one 

57: Favourite drink? red bull 

58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody? its been a while

59: Afraid of heights? no 

60: Pet peeve? people biting their nails 

61: What was the last concert I went to see? shawn mendes 

62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? no 

63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? pe teacher 

64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? kinda 

65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? dunno 

66: Something I worry about? everything 

67: Scared of the dark? only when im out on my own 

68: Who are my best friends? answered 

69: What do I admire most about others? it varys in each person 

70: Can I sing? LOL no 

71: Something I wish I could do? read minds 

72: If I won the lottery, what would I do? help family out, by my little family a house, learn to drive and buy a car, holidays, 

73: Have I ever skipped school? yea

74: Favourite place on the planet? hmm anywhere with my little family is perfect 

75: Where do I want to live? as a kid i always wanted to move to ameria, and now i’d love to live in greece 

76: Do I have any pets? yea

77: What is my current desktop picture? the quote “love is louder than the pressure to be perfect”

78: Early bird or night owl? night 

79: Sunsets or sunrise? set

80: Can I drive? i wish 

81: Story behind my last kiss? saying goodbye :(

82: Earphones or headphones? both 

83: Have I ever had braces? no 

84: Story behind one of my scars? sh 

85: Favourite genre of music? listen to most genres 

86: Who is my hero? hmm 

87: Favourite comic book character? harley quinn

88: What makes me really angry? anything can trigger it 

89: Kindle or real book? neither

90: Favourite sporty activity? dunno 

91: What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be?

92: What was my favourite subject at school? pe

93: Siblings? 1

94: What was the last thing I bought? a can of monster 

95: How tall am I? 5″3

96: Can I cook? kinda

97: Can I bake? a little 

98: 3 things I love? my girl, my son, my phone 

99: 3 things I hate? been late, my ex, my girls ex 

100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? girls 

101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? girls 

102: Where was I born? england 

103: Sexual orientation? lesbian 

104: Where do I currently live? england 

105: Last person I texted? my girl 

106: Last time I cried? this morning 

107: Guilty pleasure? dunno 

108: Favourite Youtuber? rose and rosie 

109: A photo of myself. no 

110: Do I like selfies? only if someone else is in them with me 

111: Favourite game app? home scapes 

112: My relationship with my parents? its okay 

113: Favourite accents? canadian 

114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? i want to travel the world so yea 

115: Favourite number? 7

116: Can I juggle? no 

117: Am I religious? no 

118: Do I like space? kinda 

119: Do I like the deep ocean? yea 

120: Am I much of a daredevil? probably 

121: Am I allergic to anything? no 

122: Can I curl my tongue? no 

123: Can I wiggle my ears? no 

124: Do I like clowns? they’re alright 

125: The Beatles or Elvis? neither 

126: My current project? don’t have one 

127: Am I a bad loser? no 

128: Do I admit when I wrong? sometimes 

129: Forest or beach? beach 

130: Favourite piece of advice? dunno 

131: Am I a good liar? kinda

132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district? erm well i got bored of harry potter through the first one.. dunno anything about the second one and hunger games confused me 

133: Do I talk to myself? i talk to the voices in my head if that counts 

134: Am I very social? lol no

135: Do I like gossip? sometimes

136: Do I keep a journal/diary? no 

137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? yea plenty of times 

138: Do I believe in second chances? pretty much 

139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? keep the cash and hand in the wallet 

140: Do I believe people are capable of change? sometimes 

141: Have I ever been underweight? no 

142: Am I ticklish? very 

143: Have I ever been in a submarine? no but sounds fun 

144: Have I ever been on a plane? a few times 

145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family? dunno 

146: Have I ever been overweight? story of my life 

147: Do I have any piercings? not anymore 

148: Which fictional character do I wish was real? harley quinn 

149: Do I have any tattoos? 9

150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? agreeing to meet the person who became my fiancee 3 months later 

151: Do I believe in Karma? i thought i did but apparently it doesn’t happen 

152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? i’m supposed to wear glasses to read 

153: What was my first car? i can’t drive 

154: Do I want children? i have 1 

155: Who is the most intelligent person I know?

156: My most embarrassing memory? to many to name 

157: What makes me nostalgic?

158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? i have insomnia sooo 

159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? brains 

160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? black 

161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? a few times 

162: What do I hate most about myself? everything 

163: What do I love most about myself? tattoos 

164: Do I like adventure? yea 

165: Do I believe in fate? kinda 

166: Favourite animal? tiger 

167: Have I ever been on radio? yea 

168: Have I ever been on TV? does the news count?

169: How old am I? 26

170: One of my favourite quotes? love is louder than the pressure to be perfect 

171: Do I hold grudges? yea

172: Do I trust easily? no 

173: Have I learnt from my mistakes? think so 

174: Best gift I’ve ever received? hmm 

175: Do I dream? i day dream a lot but for the past dunno how long i’ve had nightmares when i’ve been able to sleep

176: Have I ever had a night terror? all the time 

177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? there all nightmares 

178: An experience that has made me stronger? erm 

179: If I were immortal, what would I do? god please i hope that never happens 

180: Do I like shopping? if im feeling impulsive 

181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? i’d murder a few people 

182: What does “family” mean to me? dunno can’t explain it 

183: What is my spirit animal? sloth 

184: How do I want to be remembered?

185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? maths 

186: What is my greatest failure? my last relationship but thank fuck it didn’t work out 

187: What is my greatest achievement? my son although it happened out of a very bad situation 

188: Love or money? love 

189: Love or career? love

190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go? its difficult coz i’d want to go to the future to see if things actually improve.. but i’d also want to go into the past to change things 

191: What makes me the happiest? my little family 

192: What is “home” to me? been in my girls arms 

193: What motivates me? my son 

194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be?

195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? sure 

196: A movie that scared me as a child? incredible hulk 

197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? dunno 

198: Zombies or vampires? vampires 

199: Live in the city or suburbs? not fussed 

200: Dragons or wizards? dragons 

201: A nightmare that has stayed with me?

202: How do I define love? love is when you care deeply for someone and so much more

203: Do I judge a book by its cover? i try not to 

204: Have I ever had my heart broken? yea 

205: Do I like my handwriting? no 

206: Sweet or savoury? sweet 

207: Worst job I’ve had? when i was an intern at this little cafe i just hated the whole experience 

208: Do I collect anything? no 

209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? my engagnment ring and the first ring my girl bought me 

210: What is on my bucket list? to travel 

211: How do I handle anger? depends 

212: Was I named after anyone? dunno 

213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? always 

214: What TV character am I most like? dunno 

215: What is the weirdest talent I have? i have flexible fingers 

216: Favourite fictional character? harley quinn 

[hatchibomitar]

1-70

alright this has been sitting here for like a month and im tipsy so im gonna fkin answer it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

i have a great relationship with my mom!!

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

my girlfriend 😊😊😊😊❤❤

03: Do you regret anything?

oh sure i do! lots of little things. that’s anxiety babey. but i don’t regret any choices that have got me to where i am today

04: Are you insecure?

it depends on the day, i am some of the time - but it’s a huge improvement from the past omg

05: What is your relationship status?

in a RELATIONSHIP with the LOVE OF MY LIFE 

06: How do you want to die?

i do Not like this question ! goodbye thot

07: What did you last eat?

salsa chicken and rice, and zucchini!!!!! and i might annihilate a pint of ice cream later

08: Played any sports?

yes omg i played soccer and lacrosse!!! i love lacrosse sm.

09: Do you bite your nails?

nope i never have! i used to rip them off though lmfao! not the whole thing!!!!! jsust bits

10: When was your last physical fight?

never lmao

11: Do you like someone?

yes

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

no oh my goodness i would literally die

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

sober kaiden might be all dramatic and say yes but white claw kaiden says No :-)

14: Do you miss someone?

yes :( i want to be Kissed!

15: Have any pets?

yA omg i have 2 cats at my mom’s house!!!!! i cannot wait until i can have my own pet

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

i’m actually feeling fgreat, it’s basically my summer break rn and usually i’d feel terrible with no strict plans of what to do, but today was so much fun. i had a great time just fuckin around. im very optimistic

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

HEHEHE oh my gosh, i don’t kiss and tell, but yes i do actually. ok so not a public bathroom but someone else’s bathroom at a party, yes, and my own bathroom, yes, and someone else’s bathroom, yes! i just love bathrooms (wow i sound so cis)

18: Are you scared of spiders?

not especially ! i am Not good at capturing them and also i cannot kill them, but i am sometimes ok with just letting them chill. ok maybe i lied. it depends

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

no 😤

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

the brit Popped Out! the last place was, the airport when i dropped my girlfriend off :(((((

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

omg well it’s still the weeknd rn? it’s sunday night. and my plans were: d&D!!!!!! and it was SO FUN!!! but next weekend, im seeing my bestie graduate college along w my other mt friends, and then on sunday i’m driving home 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

Yes I Do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i ‘m not super sure, maybe 2? 1 would be fine too but also i feel like siblings are great, even tho they’re terrible at the same time. like i’d face my brother in ritual combat but i would also slap a high schooler in the face for being mean to him, yknow

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

i do! i have 2 closed up ear holes. 

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

i was always great great great at english/reading/spelling! now i’m in college so like uhhh . i get to choose my subjects. so my best is photography ahah!! but i’m not bad at writing :-)

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

not desperately. sometimes i feel the urge to reconnect with old friends tho

26: What are you craving right now?

a Kiss!!!!!!

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

wait omg first i have a story. so on facebook they used to have those things where you’d answer questions, like this, in a note. i got tagged to do one so i did. let me set the scene. it was sophonmore year of high schoool. im 16. i’d broken up with my first “real” boyfriend a few months ago. so i was tagged for this shindig right.? it got to this very same question: have you ever broken someone’s heart? and i thought about this kid who i dated for 2.5 months...and i was like....well, clearly, he’s devastated we aren’t together! so i answered “Yes. Unfortunately.” ooohhhhh..... the drama.......the absolute emotion..... riveting.... who was he ? i was probably listening to jonas brothers SOS at the time.

anyway, how am i supposed to actually know ? like does sometone have to say “u broke my heart?” bc if so no one’s said that. but my last gf took the breakup v hard so maybe ? but i don’t wanna plant emotions in to anyone’s skull!

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

one of my exes sexted her friends. jury is still out on whether that counts, please lmk me know ur thots. kaelin, if ur out there, i’m so.................................happy that i haven’t spoken a word to you for 3 years. fuck off !

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Yes

30: What’s irritating you right now?

real quick, an update on the chocolate ice cream situtiaon. i’ve cracked open my pint, as well as another hard seltzer. i’ve also lit a candle. it’s a real production

anyway, no ! oh hahahah. sorry. thought it shaid who’s irritating you. ummm, personal stuff! but im not like mad. just personal drama

31: Does somebody love you?

lors of people do! and lots of people love You Too!!!!! you’re a delight!

32: What is your favourite color?

i LOVE yellow !!!!!!!!!!!! and blue, specifically teal! but not too dark of a teal you km,now ?

33: Do you have trust issues?

depends what im trusting them with !

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

i had a nightmare that i was sabrina the teenage witch and another witch was chasing me on a rooftop trying to kill me :(

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

hmmm idk actually bc it’s hbeen hard for me to cry lately :( probably maya ?

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

to be honest i don’t think i’ve often had the chance to Give a second chance

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

idk man iuhhh it’s kinda hard to just literally completely forget! and mnaybe not as healthy!

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

that’s kinda premature, it’s only april!!! but i suppose may is soon. idk im not sure! maybe every year is the best year of my life :-)

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

20 bb

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

i have ANaughT

51: Favourite food?

i would give up everything for a bgagel. i also LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEE sushi! my fave roll is i think either spicy tuna w the spicy sawce or seared salmon ora spicy tuna hand roll. i fuck sushi

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

this is a hard question for me to answer bc i want to say yes but also i don’t think abuse or murder or bad things or unnecessary death happens for any reason other thna, it just does sometimes and that sucks real bad. so idk. i don’t think everything has a grand purpose. but i blieve in my life, everything that’s happened to me has in fact led me to where i am today and i’m learning and healing and growing. that being said i could do without some of the things that have happend to me!

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

read a storm of swords :00000

54: Is cheating ever okay?

no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the point of cheating is it’s a breach of Trust! and that’s not okay!

55: Are you mean?

i hope not :(

56: How many people have you fist fought?

what is with u brits

57: Do you believe in true love?

depends what u mean by true love...like in fairytales? i think true love is just loving someone so much you’re willing to work on whatever you need to to keep them. not unconditional in the sense of “even if they’re mean i still love them” but unconditional in the sense of “even if u fart in front of me i don’t care, and even if you go through hardship and aren’t yourself for a while i will still love you because im with u for real”

58: Favourite weather?

SUN SUN SUN my favorite is when it’s warm out, but there are clouds to gaze at. it’s kinda humid. there’s a slight breeze. oh gosh i can’t wait for the summer :*( im currently cyring

59: Do you like the snow?

i am so fucking tired of the snow LMFAO it snows 8 months of the year here and i’m here, guess what, 8 months of the year! i fuckin hate it! go shit on someone else, clouds

60: Do you wanna get married?

YES more than anything, so much, i want to, so badly

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD I DIE I MELT

62: What makes you happy?

sunshine, late night drives, laughing so hard my stomach hurts w/ my best frineds, playing d&d, writing poetry,  thinking about how small animals’ feets are, petting my cat and making him purr, talking to my little brother about real stuff, kissing my girlfriend and seeing her smile, warm blankets when it’s cold, eating cookie dough, dancing, singing in the car, holding hands, walking in the summer and listening to my favorite podcast, talking about harry potter with my mom, playing overwatch in the summer with andy, going to council crest

the list could go on forever :-)

63: Would you change your name?

already did PAL!!!!!!!!!!!

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

only hard bc she’s not physically here rn. but no, it would be easy, beacuse she’s so kisssable

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

if you define sex by GENITALS YOU BIG BIBNCH then i don’t Have one

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

stop omg......

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

STOP OMG

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

hmmmmmmmmmm..... idk maybe jamie

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

i don’t necessarily believe that there’s 1 perfect person for everyone out there romatnically, but i believe thaere are people destined to be in your life and i believe there are people that you will click with just absolutely instantly and feel an incredibly deep connection with, whether it be romantic or not

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

kinda morbid :/

[thegoosethatwanders-blog]

22/11/2017

Back to our regular programming. After some time off from writing in here, and i mean time off like i think the last time i wrote in here was over 4 months ago. During that time i havent felt that i needed to write anything, the thought crossed my mind atleast once a fortnight but i never strongly needed to write something down not because life was cruisey but just because i was dealing with everything as it came. But i now sorta start to feel that a journal shouldnt just be when i need to vent my fraustrations out on the world. It should be a weekly thing of what im thinking feeling, new ways of looking at things, just so i can look back and track my progress over the years. I decided against looking at when i last posted i know its been a while but i felt that in doing so would make me want to change what im writing now. Similar to the observer effect i guess. Anyway i have decided that every wednesday i will write in here until i get sick of doing so and “publish” my work. Just so i have a set day and get into a habit of writing instead of just when i needed to. But enough of the monologue lets get into what happened over the time i had stopped writing in here. Over those roughly 3 motnsh ive reconnected with cousin chels, got one of those big regrets out of my vault which is the first time mentioning this i think, so your vault is where you keep all your big bads, your regrets your shame etc. Anyway with that out of the vault and me basically apologizing i do feel better about how much of a dick i was, but in saying that as i told her i dont feel bad about my actions cos i can see her and know the influence i had in her life a quote i saw recently said “youre a villan in someone elses story” which i believe i was one in hers, but in doing so, in fighting the hero countless times and her being able to get up and sitll smile and be kind. Sure shes a bit bitchy but who wouldnt be this day and age. Um lets see what else major happened, oh spoke to papa goss for the first time since probably since the last time wrote in this? longer probably, anyway he was giving me lectures and just being a a parent really but i kinda snapped at him calling him out, like if he wanted to lecture me and tell me how i should live my life than shit son maybe you should be apart of it ya bastard. but thats just how i feel, obviously still love him but fuck man he could try a bit better especially with my younger brother. But at the end of the day he has taught me both that he knows and doesnt know he has, from his example i feel i am a better man, and not out of hate or spite but i enjoy being better than him, not only for my family and friends but for all of humanity, his examples have basically shown me not what to be and his good examples i have also taken away from, so he is at the end of the day, a good teacher whether he means to be or not. Another thing, my friend circle has shifted i mean shit it always is but now taht i look at who i have around me i am happy with it, theyre all good and would help me out when i need them and vis versa. Ive been laughing more than i was at the start of the year i believe. Just cos i feel im happy with where life is. Speaking of where life is ill be moving out by the middle of next year, excited for that,not because i WANT to move out, but its a goal for me to move towards and itll be with beanyo and pothead. I mean it had to happen at some point but i feel like its the right direction i should head in. Ill be working while getting centos while studying, so finding that balance will have the utmost importance. Lastly something that happened just recently, ive noticed how hopeful i am with people and events, i may be an atheist but i do have faith things will work out. Which apparently shines through from what ive been told. I have hope that my friends will make the right decisions and change their fututre, i have hope that my fututre will turn out right and i ave hope that life will continuously improve for not only me but everyone i care about aslong as its worked for, thats the law of equivalent exchange. I am feeling like Hope Burns Bright.

[oddlymysteriousphoenix]

#74 (#2) 1:59pm July 14

-October 22 2:56pm Eh, today had been a bit better compared to other days. I realize I’ve been lazy and haven’t been writing much on here. I will promise for now on, it has been pretty rough since last Friday since my sadness hit on of it’s lowest points again. Blegh, this year I’ve lost more than what I’ve gained so far. I don’t plan to live long if the trend continues for the rest of this year and the next. I miss all my close Xbox friends, it’s my fault I’m currently avoiding them. I think they’re happier without me and their happiness is all I care about (for the most part). On the bright side, I’ve managed to get some inspiration to continue my skills on guitar, drawing and ‘’singing’’ (I can’t sing). The motivation came from a reference from an old movie which ‘’predicted’’ October 21 2015. (Back to the Future 2, 1985) The actor who played the crazy scientist recorded a video containing these words: ‘’Great Scott! If my calculations are correct, it is now precisely October 21, 2015. The future has finally arrived. Yes, it is different than we all thought. But don’t worry. It just means your future hasn’t been written yet. No one has. Your future is whatever you make it so make it a good one.’’ His last words probably hit me more than others since I love ‘’Back to the Future’’. It’s one of my favorite movies. I recently watched ‘’Bridge of Spies’’ this past weekend. I thought it was a great movie, especially for not making the Russians the ultimate bad people during the Cold War. (Movie set during the height of it). Asides from movies, I’ve managed to gear from my gf’s voice after weeks of not hearing it. It stuck me to my heart to hear how depressed she was.  Thought the call cut out, I was able to treasure the bitter sweet voice I was able to hear. Like always, she’s my everything. I just hope she can beat her illness… -3:31pm -October 27 7:32pm Today’s the day of my 33rd monthly anniversary with my gf! Plus, today is when Halo 5 is finally out after all these years. I might get it tonight or tomorrow I cant wait to play it. Aside from that I’ve been having a rough week. Ive gotten so much of tests and homework, I’m pretty sure I’m off to a bad start. My depression loves to get the best of me. Sometimes I think my life is useless and Ill never be good enough. Suicidal thoughts? Yes, plenty of them as each minute fades to the past. I’m still waiting if life really does get better, things have been pretty flat with some downs. I still feel numb from the constant bombings of my thoughts. I’m still unhappy with my life, not even improving in my hobbies. I play guitar like a child, I sing like a whale and my drawings would be great to be used as toilet paper on how crappy it is. Ugh, at least all of my friends are doing well. Sosa (basically only school friend) has been doing great since he’s been hanging out with this one girl. She sounds pretty friendly from what I’ve heard of her from him. I’m just concerned things might go wrong between them, resulting them to not to speak to each other (Im sure they wouldn’t have sex, she’s a lesbian, at least for now).  I hope the best for him. He’s a great guy for certain. I don’t know how my other friends are doing, I haven’t talked to them due to my ‘’exodus’’. I hope they’re all okay. Lastly, but for best, I THINK my doing fine. Depressed, still? Yeah. Busy? Yeah. Do I still love her? Always and eternity. Happy 33rd anniversary, my love. My everything… 8:00pm P.S. = Te amo

- November 4 7:12pm Well, this week has been alright. Anyway! I got Halo 5 and beat the campaign on the same day. My opinion for the story: It was alright, I mean, some parts were just great, yet I think the story could’ve been so much better. Cortana… Ugh, I’m speechless, I can’t believe what happened to her. She didn’t seem right when she first appeared. She changed. It pains me to know after what Master Chief tried to do to get Cortana back, he couldn’t. Cortana went off her own path on what she thought was right. Master Chief asks ‘’Where’s Cortana?’’ Spartan Locke replies ‘’She’s gone. He stares at Locke with his broken visor. Then, Cortana causes havoc. More scenes passes by, then the credits. The music plays on only to leaves us guessing what’ll happen soon. (Break) -11:16pm. Well, I forgot to continue, woops. Ill write more soon. I have a lot in mind at the moment. - November 11 6:20pm

Ah, this day had been lonesome. Monday and Tuesday has been alright. Yet, Tuesday after school I realized something. I’m worth nothing. Ugh, I’m basically depressed. On Xbox, Stori has been distant. It’s like she doesn’t like my presence anymore. She’s been hanging out with ‘’Skitz’’ and ‘’G’’ (both Xbox names just shortened) so much. I don’t understand why. I understand G is online all the time and so is Stori, but I guess G has convinced Stori to get away from me. G and I haven’t talked in weeks., he’s a horrible person. If only Stori would notice, it bothers me greatly. I know G wants me dead, he told Seeker and Stori that I should commit suicide. Ugh, he disgusts me. I don’t plan to talk to him, but Ill do it if it prevents me from losing Stori. As of now, my best friends are Seeker, Dj, and Sosa, the school friend. Skitz and G can just be gone, they’re rotten apples to me. Useless and unwanted, I despise them immensely. It’s blatant that G hates me, you can feel the vibe of it. Well, sorta, I’m just exaggerating here. My gf says just to give it time. Which I will, since I can’t be against what makes my friend happy. I just miss Stori and Dj and Seeker being around. Nowadays, it’s just me all alone. Sosa is suicidal, but ‘’his’’ girl should help out a lot. Even though she’s a lesbian, things can change. As for my Erin (GF), she’s doing just fine. I still think she’s fine without me. I still love her. All the time she. She’s my universe. Yeah, she’s happy with me, but I feel I’m not good enough. I never have felt it, I’m nothing. Hell, I haven’t done anything that adds worth to me. Everyone else is just better than me no matter how little they try. I’m invisible, I’m no one and nobody. Suicide has been constant in my mind, but I live for others. Ill keep living until (Break, mom’s here, 7:01pm) 10:43pm They’re all gone from my life and gone from their thoughts. As for now, they’re here and I should enjoy their presence while I can. They’re family. MY family, the one I always wanted… 10:46Pm P.S. I had no school today.

-November 13 6:43pm

Each day of each hour has its sweets and sours. Days and nights where they feel the same. Today is bittersweet. I’ve managed to speak to my Love on Skype. She’s perfect as always, I love her greatly. She’s still largely insecure about our love. She feels like one day Ill send her a breakup text, which will never occur no matter what situation. I love her. Before that, she was talking about her being pregnant with triplets, in her dream. Saying how it went and how our family was there, both friend and biological. She spoiled me with kisses as we  chatted, she’s just perfection. I could never ask for more, only for us to be together soon. T took some screenshots to store the memories for the near future. Yet, as of now, I’m lonely. Erin is off doing something and I’m alone on Xbox as well. A couple of minutes ago I’ve been noticed that France is under terrorist attacks. It’s so interesting to know how everything can change so easily in just one hour. I’m afraid what will happen afterwards especially the refugees. I know most Europeans will be swayed towards anti-Islam thinking gen realizing the enemy and hurting the innocent. I’ve observed many tragedies, I hope this doesn’t lead them to chaos. If it does, time will tell. The choices of the people will determine the future of a country. As for now, I guess I’ll have another lonesome Friday. As my friends have fun, as my love carries on, I’ll be here. Hoping for the best in each of us. 7:05pm

-November 17 10:52pm

Ah, Im here doing homework Ill probably sleep at 12. Quick review of this week from last Friday/ Terrorist attack on France, soon later saw ‘’Forrest Gump’’ for the first time. I loved it. Saturday, I managed to get close to Stori on Xbox. It was just her, Seeker and me. She told me how G was still angry at me from a long ago event. She’s been trying to think otherwise. Plus, she reminded me on how Im still important to her. Oh, before that Seeker and Stori got into a small brawl over her different laughter which he wasn’t used to. Though it kinda killed the party mood, it soon recovered. I just feel bad for Seeker since I’m the only one that knows him seriously. As he said, being a jokester causes people not to take him seriously. He’s a great gut, I just wish he was valued more by people. We all stayed up to around 4 A.M. . It  was great, also my GF called on Skype to 3:11-3:13 to 3:14-28 Am. She mumbled mostly through all. Sunday was all work. This week has been okay besides having a lot of work to do. My Gf and I talked again which made me very happy. She’s perfect. Well, I need to focus on my work now. I’m so sleepy… 11:10pm

-November 24 12:55am

Ah, what a pleasant week it has been Friday. Guitar playing, gaming on Xbox One, talking to my Perfect Love and best friends, as well as drawing. I, for once, feel like I’m making progress in my life. Maybe Ill start writing a song since my mom has been awfully occupied with babysitting. Yet, it leaves the place to me. I don’t mean that as a selfish way, more in a way to be able to express what I love to do. As of now, I’m listening to ‘’FoxBoro HotTubs’’ which is basically ‘’Green Day’’ under another name. As nerdy and childish it sounds, I hope to be as great as them or even more. I love their songs as most would already know. I most certainly would cherish in being in a band and becoming a songwriter along with a couple of hobbies on the side. Even though I contain no pride or self esteem, it’s still something I want to go for. If I’m not able to reach that dream, then I’m not sure what’ll become of my. I’m sure I’ll be married to the girl who I love now, Erin. Skyping her for an hour was fantastic, 11:32pm-12:33pm. She makes me feel complete and I fly with joy knowing she’s beside me at all times. She’s perfection. Aside from that, I’ll update my family. Stori has being doing great compared to her bad things. One of her best friends has come over to visit her for the week. As from latest knowledge, they went to a birthday party. Bubba has been doing just fine, nothing negative that I’ve seen. He’s still trying to get his Canadian girl named Cristina, she’s sweet and happy usually. I wish him luck, even after about one or two years chasing after her. I introduced her to Bubba way back on Xbox, first met her sister then Cristina on GTA V on the Xbox 360. Anyway, Sosa has been doing well, I think. I texted him a bit today, still with his ‘’French’’ girl. Rose is okay, I sadly haven’t talked to her much. I plan to talk to her more, I don’t want to lose her. She means too much to me, she’s part of the family. I’m doing a drawing for her to cheer her up. She’s okay, but not well. I want her to know that I’m still beside her in her hardships. We’ll that’s about it. I’m off to play some Halo 5 or Black Ops 3. I desire for days like this are soon to arrive. 1:45Am

-3:26pm