#i might continue this when i have enough braincells from one fanfic to another for this

[mecharlie-fox]

Memoirs of a Summoner: Part 1

Rules are simple my fellow Summoners, the prompt works for anyone and everyone. Feel free to use them but with credits. This works for canon (Kiran, nonbinary/male/female), original characters, and self-inserts/readers. 

Ship intention: Alfonse X Reader / Summoner X Reader? Note: Okay uhh here’s a quick thing, the Summoner can be Kiran, your OC, whatever you’d like because there will be two important ppl in this short fic - YOU, the reader and the Summoner. So yeah, take your pick. And happy reading!

This is a really old fic that I made last year (May) 2021, I never went through with it but it was an interesting thought if we’re gonna you know... take in account of the official art for the Summoner. You see I like me my mystery men but the summoner can be any gender depending on your preference

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PART 1

You’re not the Summoner. You’re only but a faceless member of the Order of Heroes. You grew up reading and listening to stories about the Legendary Great Hero who would one day wield Breidablik to bring peace to the continent, and end this senseless war. You wanted to do your part, much like anyone else.

Commander Anna knows you - of course she does, as commander, she should know the names and faces of every single member who volunteered for this cause. And that alone she’s grateful to you.

But the Askran siblings - you know they were nice, and you know that they have the same goal as you. But you weren’t important and you weren’t a Hero - when you die, no one will remember your name. You’re just one of those nameless soldiers who died for the sake of their kingdom. A sacrifice. Cannon fodder.

You knew this and yet you fought anyway. It was all for your family. It was all for the friends you left in the village. Because someone needs to help.

Training was all left to you and ranking members who weren’t anything special in the order. Your captains did their best to make sure that your training was on par with the Heroes, making sure that none of you were in the way, making sure you all knew what to do. You were a few, couldn’t even call yourselves a platoon. A lot of people tend to forget that the Order had human beings like you, and when they say “Order of Heroes” it was.... well... always the Heroes and their reckless royal siblings.

The heir to the throne and his spare were both putting themselves at risks. Some of the few members understood it to be setting as an example, in hopes that more members would join and that they wouldn’t rely too much on Heroes. But in truth, it had an opposite effect. It was reckless, it was stupid, if both of them died, who would lead Askr to a future? If the King dies and both of them are gone, where is the future?

It wasn’t... royal like. You weren’t even part of the nobility, never even stepped foot into the royal castle. You were a mere commoner trying to make a living while protecting the kingdom in your own way. Even when there’s no recognition to it. The thought of fighting so your family wouldn’t was enough for you.

The Order didn’t make any money. It was mostly being funded by the government, and if the monthly budget didn’t make it - they had to think of ways. You reported the discovery of Aether Keep to the commander, and she commended you and your unit for a job well done. Your fellow members commended you guys for it, because it meant that no more part time jobs to feed those Heroes with your own labor. They weren’t all bad, the Heroes. Even though you were invisible to them, they showed kindness when they saw you.

But one thing did bother you. The royal siblings - Aether Keep was something of the past, to battle in the skies. It provided so much for the Order such as inns, crops, a music hall, everything they needed to relax for once instead of training on an endless basis. Yes, the commander, your comrades and some of the Heroes commended you for a job well done - but not them.

They were above you. You know that. They wouldn’t be talking to a lowly commoner like you, but it just bothered you. Because you and your unit found the Keep and yet... it was the Summoner who was congratulated. The Summoner who was praised.

You didn’t have any ill-will towards the Summoner. They were kind, concerned, innocent, good - they knew nothing about warfare and yet they did their part to help end this war. Just like you did when you first came. You were there to protect not for recognition.

Heroes who died could be revived, thanks to the Summoner’s powers. But your comrades... your comrades who fell did not share the same mercy from the gods. When they die, they die. Cannot be revived. It wasn’t the Summoner’s fault. You keep on telling yourself.

You saw it with your eyes. The Muspell flames.

Your task was simple, you and your unit were to go to a certain place in Askr to see what was going about. A woman who seemed to be like a Hero to you, was fighting by herself while the village was being destroyed, burn down into ashes until there was nothing left. You knew this village, you knew these fields - you used to come with your siblings to play around while your parents were having their own leisure of an alone time. 

Now it’s gone. Nothing but the red sky and ash smoke. You fought. You all fought. But it was no use. None of you had magic, that wasn’t the law of your world. Mages were rare and not all mages wanted to sacrifice their lives for nothing. You watched your captain burning, reaching his hand to you as you felt the painful fuel of the flames of Muspell.

Run. He said with his dying breath. Run. Warn them.

 Miraculously, as if it were the Dragon of Askr’s will - you made it back to the Order of Heroes. Your skin covered in burns and all you could mutter to your Commander was one phrase: The flames... the flames....

 None of them thanked you. Few of the Heroes (mostly the Heroes who healed you) thanked you for your service, and gave their condolences for the loss of your friends. You were in your room, ordered to stay in and rest, Sakura and Wrys would come to you four times a day to tend to your burns - and try to cheer you up. They would bring friends, although you were thankful for their kindness - your heart still felt the loss of your unit... your squad, your family.

The commander came and offered her condolences and had assured you that their families have been well compensated, all Anna hoped for was for you to forgive yourself. 

Even when you’re stuck in your room trying to regain your health, you weren’t important. You knew you weren’t important. Everyone was more focused on this new Hero named Fjorm from the Kingdom of Nifl. And as always, the Summoner was praised for finding her.

The Summoner this.

The Summoner that.

The Summoner wasn’t the one fighting the battles, it was all you and your comrades. The faceless, nameless comrades who died... who were just forgotten because they weren’t Heroes.

You couldn’t help but hate the Summoner. Hate the Prince. Hate the whole Order.

None of you were important. The volunteers from Askr were not important. Even when everyone dines together in the mess hall, you all knew your place. You had your own place at the edge of the hall as the Heroes dine and laugh with the higher members such as the commander, the Summoner, and the royal siblings. There was such a wall between the normal folk and the Heroes - there finally came a time where some volunteers... left during the war with Muspell and Embla.

Because you all didn’t feel welcome in the ranks at all.

"You’re leaving too?!” You could hear Commander Anna’s reaction from across the corridors of the ancient castle. 

“I am so sorry Commander.” Your fellow comrade bowed in apology, behind the pillar you couldn’t help but listen and started thinking for yourself as well. “But even when all our goals are the same, to stop this war and protect the ones we love... I don’t feel welcome at all Ma’am. It’s not your fault or the Heroes. It’s just... I can’t keep it up anymore. I’m tired of trying to keep up with big names and we’re just... us volunteers are just nothing.”

“Are... are you all feeling this way?” The Commander’s tone was sincere. Broken. As if she was starting to question her own leadership.

“We all have... especially since (y/n) came back to us.” Your comrade admitted in complete shame. “She and her unit... her captain brought out the best in us, trained us, took care of us. But seeing their sacrifices meant nothing to the Order - what’s the point of service if we’re just going to be forgotten in the end?”

“I didn’t...” The commander was in utter shock. She couldn’t comprehend on how this was going around the volunteer members. “I wasn’t...”

“We don’t blame you ma’am. And we are grateful for the opportunity to serve Askr. We have... outlived our purpose now, ma’am. With all of these Heroes, you don’t need us anymore.” He bowed, you couldn’t help but feel his full sense of hesitation and even regret. “I’m really sorry ma’am. I wish you the best on the war effort.”

You couldn’t help but wonder if it was right. Did you truly outlive your purpose?

The following morning wasn’t better when you saw your roommate packing up their things. And you said. “You’re leaving too, huh?”

“Yeah,” your roommate casually answered as they continued to pack their belongings. “I gave my resignation to the Commander earlier. I don’t want to leave but… we’re not needed here anymore and the Order made that clear.”

“You’re a captain, what will happen to your unit?”

“My unit is leaving with me.” You looked at your roommate as they just finished packing. Giving you a smile of reassurance was all they could do for you. “It sounds like we’re ganging up on the Commander, doesn’t it?”

You were still in a state of shock. And yet, you didn’t question their decision, it was understandable. “I won’t lie… but it does… but… but why—I don’t understand.”

“Surtr is trying to attack every village he could find that doesn’t have a strong protection from the Order and the Knights. Commander Anna is doing everything in her power, we know that. King Gustav too and I know we have much more Heroes than before, and they’re a more capable bunch that us… they’ll do well.”

“What will you all do?”

Your roommate sighed. “We’re all going home to our respective villages. Muspell is playing with the Knights but they’re only defending the capital, the Order is more focused on gathering intel for the king but… even we were replaced by Heroes in that field. Protecting villages with no fighting force seems to be the most logical option. That’s what the others are doing. How ‘bout you?” Your roommate gave a wary smile. “Are you still going to stay?”

“Maybe.” You shrugged, avoiding eye contact. You didn’t know what to do. A part of you still wanted to be involved with the Order because of your beliefs but, the other part didn’t want you to say because none of you were being valued. “I’ll try to stay for a while, I won’t lie… leaving has also crossed my mind from time to time.”

Closing their suitcase, your roommate nodded. “Alright, I’ll see you in the village if you made up your mind then.”

After giving you a pat on the shoulder, you just watched your roommate leave. Things weren’t progressing as smoothly as everyone hopped for. Some of the Heroes did notice the decline of volunteer folks and you couldn’t help but wonder if this became a problem for the commander. You wondered if the Summoner or the Prince and Princess noticed it themselves. The more people left; the more Heroes were being summoned into the Order.

The mess hall was livelier than before now. With more Heroes meant more friends but, you looked around to only find almost no familiar faces that were in your circle. You realized; you were the only non-hero in the mess hall now. Everyone else left. The music, the laughter, the jokes, they were all noises for you now.

You were just one nameless soldier in a room filled with important figures.

“You haven’t touched your food (y/n), something on your mind?” You looked up to find one of the castle’s servants looking at you with concern. You didn’t realize that everyone in the mess hall was already gone, including the Commander and the Summoner.

“There is, actually.” You couldn’t help but sigh. “I’m also thinking of leaving.”

“You too?”

You smiled at that ironic question. “Yeah… me too. I guess leaving on my own free will is better than being sacked eventually. No one even noticed the decrease of numbers; the Summoner just keeps on replacing us anyway. The more Heroes they summon, who knows when the Commander will tell me to just sleep in a tent outside so they could have a room and a bed.” You joked.

The servant Dahlia sat across you, giving out a small pout. “Now, now… you know Anna wouldn’t do something like that.”

“It… just crossed my mind.” You answered honestly. “With the volunteers leaving, there would be more room in the barracks for the Heroes right? It hasn’t been even the following day and I already have a new neighbor. Maybe my comrades are right… we already outlived our purpose. Everything was simpler when Zacharias was still here.”

Dahlia just nodded. “Things were simpler when the captain was here but, he’s not anymore. Do you think Captain Zacharias would be happy seeing you all like this?”

No one knew what happened to Zacharias. Though he was close to Prince Alfonse and Princess Sharena since they were young, he used to be your unit captain. He took care all of you, trained you, scolded you, gave you wisdom – the Summoner was no replacement for him. Everyone knew that. Zacharias would want you to follow your heart. Not think of yourself a burden.

You shook your head. “Good.” Dahlia smiled. “No one can force you to stay or go, (y/n), that’s your decision to make. And if you’re leaving too well… all I can do is wish you luck on future endeavors.”

Perhaps with a bit of luck you would know what to do. But fortune frowns before you, you didn’t know what to do. For years, all you could think about was joining the Order of Heroes to do your part. To help fight and protect those who couldn’t protect themselves. The years were kind and fruitful, filled with laughter and friendship – but now they’re nothing but a shard of a memory as you walked down the cold, empty corridors of the castle.

In your room, you proceeded to write a letter. Describing your thoughts and explaining why your decision to leave the order was made. Neatly folding it, you left for the Commander’s chamber. Knowing Anna, she would still be awake by this time – after all, she was once a volunteer like you before the old man retired and chose her to be his successor.

In your mind, you rehearsed and rehearsed what you were going to say to her. How you made up your mind and will follow the decision of your former comrades. Many good soldiers came and went, and they were gone not because they were killed in the battlefield, but rather they left on their own free will.

You were about to knock, but for a single moment, you hesitated the moment you heard crying from inside.

Anna’s crying. You noted to yourself. Found yourself froze in front of the door, with your hand about to knock the door. You couldn’t do it. You wanted to. You wanted to leave. You were unhappy with what the Order has become and how you were all treated. You wondered if you were an ungrateful soul, wanting recognition for things you have done – things that any Hero would do, but because you had no name, you were nothing, you weren’t recognized.

You knew Anna was grateful, wasn’t that enough for you? Was it too much to ask for the whole Order to know the deeds you have done? The sacrifices that you had to endure? Hearing the commander cry made your heart feel even more pain than the burns on your skin.

“May I help you?” You jumped in fright, turning around to see the Summoner. “You heard the crying too, huh?”

“Yes… Summoner.” You looked down. Not wanting to look into their eyes. Even if you did, you couldn’t see them. The Summoner always wore their hood and no one has ever seen their face. Some did speculate that only members of the royal family and the commander are able to do so, but there was never any proof.

But Kiran already had an idea why you were in front of Anna’s room. “What’s that on your hand?” They asked quietly. It wasn’t stern or serious, but rather calm and worried.

“My… resignation, Summoner.”

Kiran nodded. “You’re leaving too. I see… may I ask why?”

Why?! You wanted to snap. How… how could they? After everything you and your comrades did for this Order, wasn’t it obvious why you chose to follow? But it was late and you didn’t want to cause anymore trouble for Anna. You’d be gone in the morning anyway. So, you answered. “I don’t belong here anymore, Summoner.”

The Summoner was quiet, but continued to listen to what you had to say. “I’m aware of the damages that this war has caused the kingdom. I’m also aware of the selfishness that has come to mind, thinking about myself rather than the benefit of those who need our protection. I won’t speak for my comrades who left before me – but I’m not being valued here. When a soldier leaves, a Hero takes our place right? We’re not important to this Order. Not anymore.”

“I see.” The summoner was calmer than you expected them to be. You were waiting to be scolded with the importance of duty. The Summoner was a tactician, one of the keys to the Order’s victory in so many battles. They were the Legendary Great Hero, who would ever doubt them? Who would put them in the wrong? “Here,” the summoner spoke as they offer their hand. “I’ll give it to her for you. I wish you the best.”

It was all you could hear from anyone at this point. Not all of your burns have been healed up and yet, it feels like your heart too, was also burning from the pain. You bowed in the Summoner’s presence as if they were of high importance. In this castle, you couldn’t help but wonder what the Summoner was really like behind that hood of theirs.

The Summoner never really spends time with normal troops, they were always with the Heroes. People expected Prince Alfonse to take on that role more, since he’s the crown prince but to no avail as well. He too, was also hands on with the Heroes.

You couldn’t even sleep that evening. All you could wonder was the whole impossible idea: would people still be leaving if Captain Zacharias was still in your ranks?

You found yourself packing the following morning, ignoring the rushing footsteps from outside of your room. You jumped in shock the moment the door burst opened to find Anna holding your resignation in her hand, and the Summoner calmly standing behind her. The commander was taking deep breathes, you wondered how long she actually ran. From her face alone, you knew she had a sleepless night too – the bags in her eyes were deep, stains of tears could be seen on her cheek.

But none of that mattered to her anymore, all that mattered was her proposition to you. “(y/n)!” She shouted with determination as your eyes both met. Her gaze was even burning hotter than Muspell flames. “I have a proposition for you!”

In a sense, knowing the commander for so long, a part of you already knew that she didn’t accept your resignation and is about to offer you something you can’t refuse. “Be my steward!” Anna stopped, knowing that she said the wrong words to you.

You blinked. “Forgive me commander,” you answered as you closed your luggage. “But I do not see how that will make me stay.” You were confused. What soldier would want a stewardship? You thought that they were taking you as a servant. The order doesn’t pay well, you were stuck doing side jobs just to send back money to your family back in the village.

“Ack!” Anna couldn’t help but scratch her whole head with both of her hands, letter still in hand. “I’m! I’m sorry! Those words were completely wrong! COMPLETELY WRONG! What I’m trying to say is – PLEASE STAY!” The commander clapper her hands together, bowing in front of you. This sight alone was enough to make you feel worse as it is.

You knew Anna before she became commander. All of the people who left knew her personally before she took on the burden of the Order. Even with the fancy titles and all – she was still Anna, but compared to you, Anna was more important. She had more significance. “I – I know I’m not doing my best to make you all feel welcome. Especially when Kiran had been summoning Heroes left and right increasing our numbers! But I want to make things better for everyone! So please (y/n)! Give me another chance!”

If it was their previous commander, this attitude wouldn’t stand. They respected Anna but respect wasn’t the problem, it was pure negligence.

[onthevirgeofdestruction]

35 Q’s for Fanfic Writers

From this post

I’m having a shitty, rude alter-y, crap night so I’m just going to answer all of these to distract myself and focus and to not bother anybody just making my own post and putting it under the cut btw, notice to anyone not aware: since I’m moving I won’t likely be updating anything until I’m done doing so.

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing?  (No downplaying yourself!) 3/5? Could use more editing and description and can be weirdly paced.

2. Why do you write fanfiction? Because it’s better than focusing on pain 24/7. 

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works? I don’t seem to have a specific narrative voice that people recognize but I’m pretty proud of mostly organic dialogue. 

4. Are there any writers that inspire you? as a rule i never look up to anybody for inspiration but there’s some stuff in my ao3 bookmarks I fawn over.

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of? Right now, none of them. It changes normally, anyway. If get too proud then I’d get my ass kicked by RSD if someone didn’t like it so it’s safer this way

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily? Dialogue. 

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most? Organic description, poetic language kind of stuff. I can paint a scene but I’m not so great with bring out out a feeling with description alone.

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write? Janus and Virgil are probably tied. They both have things I struggle with but I don’t have to go back and do much adjusting of language and tone with them. Though admittedly my Virgil is signifigantly more foul-mouthed than canon and I tend to prefer pre-AA feral asshole Virgil.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write? Patton. I write him the least, so people can probably tell. I love Patton, I really do, but it’s so hard to keep away from fanon Patton. 

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for? Angst w/ H/C obviously. Or if you’re talking about regular book genres, Fantasy. I fucking love fantasy world building.

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most? Trauma. I blame Daeram. As if Ayri isn’t a giant Angst Demon.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about. Slopes. I’m really into it. I’ve got three one shots running right now. Patrons can read the first part of the unnamed cat remus one, there’s also a coffeeshop au tropey nonsense one like eglantine & lycoris, but Slopes is addiction angst. Mmmmm. Virgil is addicted to coke and alcohol and will listening to his friends even be in time? Who knows, especially not me, but there’s already over 30k. 

13. First fandom you ever wrote for? InuYasha. Or was it Harry Potter? Or shit, The Blue Sword? Fuck, I’ve been writing for a long time, I really have no idea.

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for? Sanders Sides. The characters are the perfect dynamic for writing since they exist in balance of each other and the popular, easy to project on archetypes featured are incredibly fun to do basically any scenario with.

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for? Weird storywise? Kingdom Hearts? I can’t even follow the plot anymore. Weird Fandomwise? Sanders Sides. Its simultainiously the fluffiest and angstiest nonsense at the same time.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)? Vampires. Gay ones. Gay Vampires. I also love calm tol and angy smol.

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for. Any tropes that normalize incredibly toxic behaviour or tropes that are inherantly ableist, but I can’t think of any.

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written? Incorrigible continues to be complete nonsense.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between? AUs. I mean closest I even have is canon-divergence other than a single short.

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff? I like it when there is gay nonsense along with a plot that is treated as more important than the relationship the most. But I like both. There’s more shippy stuff in tss so i read more shipping action by default.

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!) Anxceit/Sleepxiety, but in general, give me darksides or give me death/j

22. Do you listen to anything while you write? Almost everything I write has a special playlist I listen to to help me write it, but otherwise I listen to my Nyan playlist, an alter is picking the tunes, or a voidfam playlist. I never have music off. When my internet is down I just listen to the songs I own or Anxiety’s theme on loop.

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas? I’m fine with all of them. I love working with prompts but I tend to deviate. And I’ve never done a challenge since I can’t do deadlines and bad things happen bingo never sent me a card and I applied three times.

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works? I am generally multi-chaptered stuff, but I’ve been working on a few one-shots lately that are much longer than most one shots.

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them! I was originally thinking of doing some little 13-year-old Dreaming!Roman (y’know, the one with a job) shorts but it turns out I just had an alter of that little bastard and that’s why I inexplicably know more about him then I ever even considered. I still might do them after Dreaming is done. But that’s paced so slowly who knows when that might happen. Otherwise I put stuff in my notes and just do shorts of it if I’m like “oh you know what’s cool???” but since I can’t daydream maybe this question doesn’t apply to me.

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try? I want to do more autism stuff, and I’ve had it demanded a few times, but I’m scared of being that explict about it for some reason. Possibly because I might be, possibly because I’m scared of doing it wrong even though I’ve accidentally coded multiple characters autistic. I’m scared of explictly tagging them as such, too. 

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received? That I can remember off the top of my head? I’m going with one from @a-genz-with-trauma-and-kins. It really helped me out and was just so kind and literally the best christmas gift I got in 2020. 

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing? I can handle it alright but Daeram is a little fucking pissbaby about it. Constructive criticism helps people get better, so I appreciate it. I can’t handle critism that is incomplete, though. “i just don’t get it” or “I don’t know I don’t like it” kind of things. If I can’t understand the why to fix it then things get out of control. And then I spiral and RSD for like four days minimum. If it came from an anon or a troll, too, It might not bother me for as long. Things that are just like “this is shit and you should feel bad” just make me laugh. Couldn’t even bother to read it long enough to insult me proper? I don’t care.

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out? I have a few times. Mostly in shorts and prompts, I think. I think they turned out okay. They’re not particularly inspired or anything.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst? Depends on my mood. Am I triggered? give me the fluff. Am I vibin? Angst. 

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them! Fuck, fam, no, I can’t, I have so many. I have multiple original stories and some of them have very large casts and like holy fuck. Or do you mean in Sanders Sides fandom? Um, Morgan and Thorn in PD. The lesbian and her himbo dynamic. I love them. They’re dorks. Morgan is strong person with sharp tongue and soft romantic heart and Thorn is just so kind and so dumb and so exciteable he’s like a puppy. They were just filler characters and I got attached to them. Felton even gets redemption for being an ass later in PD, like oof i never intended to include so much OC content, especially for names I just picked randomly. 

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less. nope I’m doing all of them because these are fun plea for my new self: 2 gay vampires, 4 humans, 1 braincell dreaming while I wake: trauma child needs therapy and so do you break: big oof, oh dragons, oh why, go virgil go rebuild: virgil is so not okay there’s more virgil to deal painful death: gay teens drink themselves into a new religion stargazing: whoops we didn’t realize people actually cared whole castle: everyone will throw down for kid!patton, even you incorrigible: found family with a shot of psychological horror and crack dangerous instincts: wholesome crime syndacite action  slopes: addict gets mugged and thinks that’s just fine with him conflagration: logan avoids everything ever like a champ cat!remus: bored fae shifts gay pining from one person to another  caffeine cyptids: caffinated gay panic goes faster than regular gay panic eglantine & lycoris: more tropes than you can toss a shoe at storytime: overpowered virgil also overreacts literally always

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process? an alter and I write together and I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen, what I’m writing about, or even what year it is. I often don’t even remember what I wrote. There’s no outline. I have an idea and I pick things at random for it. There’s just notes and an evil gleam in a demon’s eye. The only reason I know more than readers is because I take a long time to edit and some of these stories have fucking alters up in my head who can tell me things. Daeram tells me nothing. The writing demon supposedly has all this knowledge but I have absolutely no clue because he does not talk to me, he just fronts and slams out 9k in a few hours or we cofront to write and I’m like “oh no she didn’t” while typing 

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of. i’m fond of the entire painful death series and I tried to find something I really liked without spoilers in stargazing and I couldn’t so here’s a random thing from incorrigble: “So, what do you do with your friends?” Patton continued on with a megawatt smile. “Grand larceny,” Virgil deadpanned and glared at Patton, who was taken aback. Remy and Andy just broke out laughing while Virgil tentatively sipped his still-too-hot-cocoa. 

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!  slopes my dudes slopes i have learned so much about cocaine! like wow! I thought for a minute it was going to end with MCD around 30k but it swtiched from whump to hurt/comfort and I still don’t know if it’s going to be MCD but look at that funky little coke/alcohol addict go, it’s a medical wonder he’s alive! It’s not like there’s what seems to be a little talked about interaction between alcohol and cocaine that causes a toxic chemical to build up in the liver which can result in liver failure and sudden death at basically any moment! Which is part of why it may result in MCD but this time no ghosts! maybe it’ll be h/c with whump elements or maybe it’ll be whump with h/c elements we can’t know for sure

[mobagehelllocal]

“do you even lift bro?” extra notes i - iii:

I finally finished rereading all my “do you even lift bro?” stories! Man, I feel like I wrote them ages ago. As I mentioned before, I have been going back to do grammatical edits and what not. In the process, I’ve also been noting down my thought process for writing these pieces, and little easter eggs I put in for fun~ This extra notes will contain my thoughts from versions i to iii! 

*please do not read if you haven’t read “do you even lift bro?” ver i - iii. 

The title came to me immediately upon reading the request hahah. originally, it was meant to just be fluffy and cute... but I think it’s actually pretty funny. To me, at least hahah. 

Divus’s was the one exception, but i’ll get into that later.

The reader personality was based on one of my ocs. She was also the oc in my special Malleus x OC story, “bright eyes.”

I went with her because she was an OC, who, in my opinion, is the epitome of a optimistic fangirl lmao. If you’ve read “bright eyes” then I think you’d understand what I mean hahahah. 

For ver i--I think I definitely wrote Riddle’s first. followed by Leona, Azul, Malleus, Kalim, Vil then Idia. 

One of my best friends is a super huge Riddle stan (if you’re reading this, hi sis!) so I wrote his story primarily with her energy in mind. In short, she would most definitely bench press Riddle. 

Her energy + the base reader personality makes Riddle’s story one of the most fun actually. His reader is probably the most mischievous ones--which I thought balanced out well with Riddle’s actual personality. 

Leona’s story is heavily influenced by pride dynamics. It’s common knowledge that it’s the female lions who hunt hence why in Afterglow Savanna--the women are stronger. Leona is royalty, so I assumed that from a young age he’d be told to wed a strong woman. 

I also need to note that Leona is described as respecting women. here’s the thing, I’m pretty sure it’s specifically women from Afterglow Savanna because they could bench press him. That’s not to say he doesn’t respect all women--he probably just puts women from Afterglow Savanna on a different standard because of his experience with them. Either way, you surprised him greatly, and assume that Leona will not be able to look you in the eye for awhile.

Azul’s story specifically takes place after Jamil SR Lab Coat episodes and Azul’s R PE Uniform episodes. I found their relationship funny, and thought it would be fun to continue off from there. 

Most of Azul’s stories come from me just wanting to fluster the hell out of Azul... that being said, I did delve a bit into the magic of TWST for this one. I remember it was Crowley (was it in the prologue?) who noted that magic is dependent also on how much someone believed in their ability to do something. This is why Azul falls down haha, his will faltered and he stopped believing. 

Jamil doesn’t get a break at all, doesn’t he? The reader and Jamil actually vibe really well because they both understood enough about Kalim to know what he was doing.

I think I remember being pretty stuck on which one to do for this. I think it was reading Jamil’s SSR Dorm Uniform story that really made me have an ‘aha’ moment on how to write it--since something like this happens on there. 

Surprisingly for Vil, once I had figured out that I wanted to write him getting mobbed, and being saved by his reader--it flowed out really fast from there. 

For Vil, I always end up bringing up the issue that he’s something like a celebrity and you are one in the million who adore him. I thought that this was just one way to sort of tackle your relationship together. 

I really enjoyed highlighting how you love Vil different from the rest who adore him. The importance of how you see his flaws and still love him--especially because as an influencer Vil has a certain pressure to appear in a certain way. 

Idia’s was the last one I wrote, but I had a lot of fun because I stuffed it full of references. I figured that Idia’s thought process would be more of him thinking life as a game, that’s why he uses terms like support level often in my writing. 

On that note, I know ‘Gao-Gao Dragon-kun’ is a reference to Tamagotchi, but I decided to just merge up Tamagotchi and Pokemon in this case. Hence why ‘Gao-Gao Shield and Sword’ existed lmao. I didn’t put too much effort in that and just switched ‘Shield and Sword’’s order HAHAH. I did consider making it ‘Gao-Gao Gun and Wand’ though. 

‘Water Crest: The Seven Dorms’ is a reference to Fire Emblem: Three Houses. I felt incredibly clever when I came up with that HAHAH. But also, when he references support levels, he’s talking about a gameplay in Fire Emblem. For people who aren’t familiar with this, essentially, FE has a system wherein the more you use two units together the likely their support will rise. The supports go from C-B-A-S, with S as the highest. When Idia says he works hard on S Support, he literally means he went out of his way to spend time with you and befriend you. Isn’t that cute? When he references SS Support, it actually doesn’t exist HAHA, but he didn’t realize there was “another level” sort of thing xD

When I write funny Malleus stories, the other members of Diasomnia are likely to be hiding in the bushes. Most funny stuff probably fly over Malleus’s head so... The other Diasomnia members pop in to react hahaha.

To Malleus, your tendency to treat him as a regular person, and not treating him as a lord--makes him incredibly fond of you. It’s because you treat him as an equal, that makes him treat you as an equal. I also think this was the piece where he started calling you “bright light.” There’s no deeper meaning to it, he really just sees you as a bright light--like a brilliant star. You, literally, light up the world. :,) 

Ver ii order of writing--Ashton, Dire, Divus. I had come up with the premise of Divus first though. 

I think Dire was the hardest one for me, because I kept worrying about things like--’what if he’s not actually like this,’ or ‘what if that isn’t how he would actually act’ etc etc. but I think it turned out pretty alright.

Dire, for all his claims of being a kind person--I think actually is a kind guy. He does have the tendency to be a little manipulative and whatnot... but at the end of the day he does care.

For Divus, I sniffed GBF Belial’s Perfume because I wanted to get inspired (and I sort of headcanon they smelled alike) but it went horny too fast. 

Divus is naturally intrigued with you, and he’s also very aware you’re attracted to him. So it amuses him to fluster you. He’s very aware of how good-looking he is, and he doesn’t mind flirting with people.

How I chose to portray Divus is actually based on how @avionvadion writes Divus in her story “Once Upon A Dream.” please check it out! It’s a super cute fanfic about a girl in Twisted Wonderland~ 

Ashton... I was surprised at how fast I was able to write his piece actually hahha. I went with a no braincell, but cheerful and all-around good guy. 

I don’t think there was a lot of Ashton to really research about, but... I just tried to make him good guy Gaston... for now xD 

Ver iii--it went Floyd, Jamil, Jade, Rook, Lilia, and Epel.

There’s this scene in, I think, the first episode of Avatar: The Legend of Aang where Appa wouldn’t fly. So Sokka just straight up... insulted? Appa? i guess. Then Appa suddenly COULD fly, and Sokka was just straight up amazed and yelling... Yeah that was my primary inspiration for Floyd’s story.

Floyd... Floyd is twins with Jade, let’s not forget that. I’m sure Floyd is actually really intelligent, he just isn’t in the mood to be sometimes. Hence he’s able to really understand something when you say something seriously. I think Floyd would always take you seriously when you say something important. 

For Jade’s story, my inspiration was the story of my dad tripping. It was only witnessed by him and mom. My mom talked about how terrifying it was to watch a six foot tall man fall down. My dad just found it funny. Hence, I thought, Jade should trip. 

Other than that, the general idea I wanted was that it’s our time to pamper Jade. He’s one of the two characters who I know would love to pamper his reader. So this was his lover’s chance to pamper him. Also, he’s also one of two characters who would have an idea about your insane strength.

Jamil, much like Jade, is the type of guy who pampers the people he loves. He doesn’t take to being pampered too well. He’s not used to it. 

Jamil also appreciates getting his hard work recognized, so I’m sure he has a praise kink hahah. He’s also easily embarrassed. I think Jamil needs someone who acknowledges all of his hard work, who also accepts his mistakes. 

Epel was the last one to write, and actually a genuine struggle for me. I always... end up writing something in relation to his struggles with his face and femininity. Epel is someone who wants to be seen as a real man, so I worried about what he’d think of a reader who had the strength he wanted. 

I figured if it was anyone else, it might inspire jealousy in Epel--but because it was his lover, he was able to push aside his negative feelings and look at the bright side. You’re truly his ideal, and he wants to learn how to be strong from you.

Rook was another tough one. There did exist a version where you surprise him... but the more I thought about it, the more I found it impossible for Rook to not know or not have an idea. He’s the other character who would have an idea about your strength.

On that note, thinking about a romantic partner for Rook... I thought what was best was someone who wouldn’t find him odd. Who would actually try to learn about him. 

Lilia’s... was also pretty easy given he enjoyed hanging upside down a lot in the main story hahah. Lilia cute, I love him. Also, when will Lilia stop messing with Idia? Probably never tbh. 

I touched upon the topic of mortality and immortality, but because I wanted this to be lighthearted--I chose not to pursue it. It would drag the mood down, but honestly--it’s something we can’t ignore and is very integral in relationships with Lilia or Malleus.

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Hello half valid anon here (i like my nickname 😂). I got through all your fics and they were all great. Right now im just reading a lot of poi fanfics and watch fanvids cause i can't accept that the series is over 😂 --- i know what you mean about fics affecting you negatively. I had this with 13rw (the Show and some fics) everything was so dark and hopeless that i had to stop watching it. I also love to seek out fics where someone is hurt so i can feel my pain through the characters (1)

But i try to read only fics with lots of comfort so it kinda feels like i get comforted as well (dont know if that makes sense). If it makes you uncomfortable or if its unhealthy for you to write about this i completely understand and i dont mean to come of as pushing you to write. I just hope whatever you do will be the right decision for you! As for you feeling suicidal im sorry to hear that. Let me know if there is ever anything i can do to help! I wish i could say sth more comforting but Im not super good with words :( i just hope you have people in your life that support you! 💛

maybe root will grow on you too? Or maybe you can skip her scenes and enjoy John, Harold and most importanly Bear! 😂 Yeah Shaw definately looks really good. She is a bit like Reese minus the caring. At first it seems she doesnt care about anything at all but thats not exactly the Case. There was an episode with Shaw and a little girl (3x5) and i really loved it (have you seen that one?).

I really think Shaw would grow on you (especially since in the beginning she does a lot with John) but then again a lot of her later scenes include Root so im not sure. Yes i love that there were never any romantic undertones with her and John!!

yeah the core four were great. I was so sad when Carter died! :(

i guess everyone sees chemistry different, i think Shoot and Rinch post have great chemistry ☺️

as for John being good with people: YES!! he is always so compassionate and such a great listener as well. I especially like him with children. John and the baby were so cute or John with the boy who offered to pay for him. John + Kids was always a great combination and i wished we would have seen it more often. Also regarding children we did we never got to see a John Taylor scene after Carters death? I needed that!

yes John the badass is also amazing! His character has so many different sides and i love him so much!!

i think Grace Harold was really cute but i dont really see a future for them, i mean he lied to her for so long! but then again they really loved each other so idk maybe they work it out. Im also not into John/Harold/Grace but like you said good for the people who like the ship :)

John and Zoe were great! i wish Zoe would have appeared more often!

I have so many things to say about John and the boring therapist but i think i better not say them :D i wish i could just erase their relationship from my mind!

of course he didnt die! i didnt see a dead body so i refuse to believe he is dead! i also just wanted them to be happy. what kind of an ending is it to let the main character die? i refuse to accept this! -- thank you for the rec i will check it out :) while i do like fluff i mostly read h/c (with the focus on the comfort) cause i just want John to get his much needed comfort :D -- i have no idea where season 1 is supposed to be boring. but idc the people can live with their wrong opinions :D

(today: tumblr user nourann3 discovers the option to indent text after almost 5 years on tumblr...)

Hiii !! It is a very valid nickname 😂 That's nice !! Hmu if you want more recs ! Lol same honestly, I can't believe it's been 4 years since the show ended ! I can give you a link to my poi/Rinch fanvids playlist if you're interested 👀

Oh boi 13rw is so cursed, can't believe I watched all of the 1st season 😬 I remember being afraid of the suicide scene making me uncomfortable but it was so cringe, unrealistic and just bad that I wasn't even that uncomfortable, I cringed when she cut her arms but that's it.

Yeah big mood I project a lot on comfort fics as well. For suicide fics, I think it also depends on how the fics adress the subject. It's something that is complicated to write. If I read a suicide fic with no recovery I'm gonna project but feel like shit. But with recovery, I can project into the recovery as well so it's better ! I read a really good ace attorney fic showing Miles recovering after a suicide attempt, it was thoughtful and didn't fall into the pitfalls of magical super fast recovery/love heals everything, and some lines stuck with me, it was really good and comforting. But yeah if it's just a suicide/suicide attempt then I don't think it's good for me (but sometimes I still read it bc I'm a Dumb Bitch).

Dw you didn't come off as pushing 💜 I'll see how I feel about continuing it or not. I have to figure out if writing about suicide is positive or negative for me 🤔 I mean I'm not portraying John's suicidal crisis as a positive thing, and he reaches out to Harold, and considers he might get better so I don't think it's bad for me ? Another problem is that I have a tendency to drop my wips to write a new shiny idea I get, and then I never finish anything gkgkffjfjf I dropped the suicide fic for the body horror fic which I dropped for the time loop fic, and there's also the hanahaki fic I started last year but I haven't touched in months, plus a bunch of random shit floating around OneDrive lmao someone stop me

What helps the most is venting, just getting that shit out is helping y'know. I appreciate your support ♥️ at least it's not as bad as it used to be

I doubt Root will grow on me, catch me watching her scenes at 1.5 speed lmao, also yes you bet I'll enjoy watching them !!

Yes I remember that ep ! Iirc the little girl tells Shaw she has feelings but the volume is lower than in other people or smth along those lines ?

I hope she'll grow on me bc she seems cool. I remember I was a bit afraid of her just becoming a sort of hollow copy of John, like "look we added another badass to the show". Seems to be more than that though ! Also I'm curious about their mayhem twins dynamic. But yeah if she has a lot of scenes with Root idk how much it'll annoy me

I feel like I wouldn't be able to get the Shoot chemistry bc I'm too biased against Root lol

Ikr the crossing hurt me so much. But thinking about it takes me back to my careese days and my first fics lol. I feel like the death of one of the core four + the abandonment of the library really alienated me from the show (did I already say that before ?). And here I'm gonna shamelessly derail from Carter to the library bc boiii do I have a lot of feelings about the library !! And you're here, talking about poi, so you're the perfect subject to throw these feelings at. This post really says what I feel about it (I'll put the link at the end as well if you wanna read it after you're done with this l o n g reply). It was in a way its own character and its forced abandonment/destruction really hit me (fucked me up when they broke that glass board). It says something that it's one of the few things I remember from S3 along with Carter's death and 4C. I loved it a lot, it was a cornerstone of the show. It was a safe place, a home for Harold and John (and Bear !). I love when they're together in there, I love this cracked glass board, this yellow stained glass in the windows !!! (at least I assume it's stained glass ?), these lights, Bear's cushion, the whole cozy/safe/isolated feelings, just absolutely everything. And yeah later they have the subway, idk when it's introduced I don't remember if it's early enough for me to have watched it. And maybe it's nice, I can't judge rn. But it's like trying to give me a new MC after a MCD, make him as nice as you want I'll be clutching the previous MC until I die. Gkfkfkff I went overboard and off topic but I just love the library ok

Ikr I love how he's badass but also gentle and understanding and nice to people ! I love him !!! Yeah wolf and cub is really good, also I love when John smiles to Darren at the end !! I use this moment as my pfp bc I love it so much. He's just so cute ! I wish he smiled more (did we ever hear him laugh in the entirety of the show ?). Baby blue is so great, Harold and him are such a married couple in this ep ! Yeah same more content with John and children would have been nice.

I never thought about how much we needed a John Taylor scene but yes !! We were robbed :((((

Speaking of John being a cool badass. Here's a badass John vid rec it's super good

Yeah they were cute in the past. I think it's good he went back to her bc it gives closure to both of them. But I don't see their relationship working again. She grieved, probably started to move on after all these years and knowing he lied all this time probably won't make her want to go back with him. I've never been in love so what do I know lol, but were I her I probably wouldn't want to go back with him and I'd just be happy knowing he's alive after all.

Same I need more Zoe (also she's hot)

Lmao let's just forget about that weird relationship shall we

Aren't we all the same, firmly believing he's alive and happy out there ! It was foreshadowed since the first ep and it made sense but do I care ? No, fuck that shit John is very much alive

You're welcome ! John needs all the comfort and the love !!! I think I have a preference for fluff bc he gets hurt enough in the show lol

Indeed they can, veryyy far away from us

Sry if this is shit I have like half a functioning braincell today

The post abt home bases I mentioned

[pellucii]

(( been doing some more thinking about Dragon Lore for fates so hee hoo consider this a lot of Optional Story Content I won’t try and force on you with the blog but know that if you like this post I can and will bully you with Made Up Lore ))

We've cut 3 dragons from the roster from 12 to 9- dusk, dawn, fire, ice, wind, earth, astral (moro), water (anankos), and the Great Dragon who presided over them as a sort of Naga 2.0, also known as the Rainbow Sage

There's actually a bloodline for each dragon that are generally all aligned with nobility from the kingdoms, so technically any legitimate members of the royal family can be of any bloodline as long as the dragon blood within them is strong (might bring brands in might not huffs). There is also a sort of hierarchy to which dragon’s bloodline the royal member hails from to also account for, Dusk and Dawn being understandably most desireable. Yes this is now riffing off of other FE entries no I won’t apologize for i-

Rainbow is also desirable but considerably rare and thus most people give up on finding it.

Which how to tell: likely gameplay element, such as Dawn and Dusk blood yielding an effect similar to their respective statues but nerfed a bit for a unit that will obviously be moving and attacking.

For a good long while the dragons are pretty chill, haven’t developed/discovered dragonstones, and find themselves making the occasional Power Up with their human peeps:

At first the elemental tribes were made, but rather than dragon vein powers their ancestors were imbued with and given a closer bond to their chosen element rather than given a full dose of dragon blood.

The humans given a full dose of dragon blood that would be come to known as the ass kicking royal family capable of manipulating dragon veins did not come around until The War

The kitsune and wolfskin tribes are evolved from a common ancestor and were part of the Earth dragon's attempt to make a tribe of their own by imbuing wildlife with their power rather than humans, but this is largely forgotten lore and just here as a “what about the earth tribe then” answer, and present day most fateslandians believe the “earth tribe” to be a myth/snipe hunt.

“Water’s an element too” Valla can technically be the water tribe, as a treat. Also a snipe hunt to most fateslandians? Likely.

When the Dragon War happens we have 3 camps: Dawn leading Fire and Wind versus Dusk leading Ice and Earth, all of them mildly succumbing to dragon rabies that’s prodding their small rivalry into a World Domination War; Rainbow Sage Moro and Anankos are watching with popcorn until it's not so fun anymore. Humans are trying desperately to chill.

Seeing that the war was not coming to an end any time soon and getting worse with every skirmish, plus Moro and Anankos pleading for some time out, the Rainbow Sage set to work making the divine weapons to start lobbing dragon heads off. 

Meanwhile, Anankos and Moro put their brains together and developed dragonstones, and then the song/pendant wombo combo. Dragonstones at this point couldn’t fully stave off dragon rabies and would need a bit more research, so the song/pendant wombo combo was developed to help give that time and change the effectiveness from a limited time to potentially indefinite.

The Rainbow Sage was going to pick out the humans who inherited the divine weapons, but Anankos didn't want his fellow dragons dead before finding a breakthrough with this dragonstone idea and asked to pick them instead. The Rainbow Sage let him, and Anankos gave the divine weapons to humans he trusted not to use them to give himself a bit more time to refine this dragonstone idea.

The humans commit a few dragon murders, likely out of self defense/fear. His trust betrayed and on the verge of Fucking Losing It because of it, Anankos carves out the bottomless canyon and hunkers down in Valla to continue his research and try to create a paradise where man need not fear dragons going bonkers. The Rainbow Sage makes a few tweaks of his own to Anankos’s dragonstone idea, takes the form most people will remember him as, and lets the other dragons die at the hands of humans.

Anankos didn’t get the memo that death was probably the best cure for dragon rabies, seeing as it would release them from their physical forms, and the Rainbow Sage comes to foresee that letting Anankos take such actions would lead to him getting dragon rabies and eventually threatening the world, and thus this is why he refers to forging the divine weapons as his “great sin”, since he could’ve given it to the proper folk who would make sure that things went according to plan.

in the interim between then and present day, Valla is hidden so Anankos can make sure his little paradise works, the other dragons are dead and hailed as gods with the Dawn and Dusk dragon’s rivalry becoming Status Quo, and the Rainbow Sage lets humans who are powerful and wise enough visit him. 

The tee hee about being the Rainbow Sage comes from the fact that some of these humans he gives his blood to and, by being the Head Honcho Dragon, can by proxy bestow upon these humans blood that functions as that of an already deceased dragon instead (this also makes visiting him a highly sought after affair since you can go from peasant to viable nobility). Instead of getting Rainbow Sage blood they could, for example, get Wind or Ice dragon blood instead; or perhaps be given Rainbow blood only for it to be overridden by another dragon’s blood in their lineage, as if Rainbow blood is a sort of recessive gene I suppose?

Very rarely the Rainbow Sage will give his own blood, and coupled with above “recessive” trait perhaps even rarer it will stick around, Elise’s mother being one such human (that is a rad story for DLC and fanfic) and likely quickly elevating her into the Nohrian court.

The Water dragon Anankos’s lineage is forgotten almost entirely and persists only in Valla, seeing as the Rainbow Sage cannot by proxy give his blood since he is still alive.

Surprise surprise each sibling has a different dragon bloodline that takes the majority presence, leading for all 9 bloodlines on the table which hasn't happened in awhile. Corrin and Azura obviously have Anankos blood(tm), then the families are largely split down party lines: Xander, Camilla, Leo, and Elise have Dusk, Ice, Earth, and Rainbow blood. Ryoma, Hinoka, Takumi, and Sakura have Dawn, Fire, Wind, and Astral.

Why does Elise have Rainbow blood if Rainbow was a neutral party? For the Bifrost tee hee since it’s a Nohrian stave. Also nice to think of everyone lauding her a bunch for being Rainbow blood and expecting her to be a great ruler only for her to die in birthright (upside down smiley)

Sakura has Astral blood for the counterpart tee hee.

The elemental tribes were also given a vague prophecy by their respective dragons/the Rainbow Sage, and it’s one they hold onto fiercely even if some nations of the world think it’s silly folklore. As follows: “The 9 Dragons quarrel / One by one taken by flood / Heralded by the Yato’s chosen / Thus the world shall be destroyed / And recreated in the waves.”

Sounds Bad but actually thanks to Water Metaphor it’s describing how everyone’s fighting, but then Corrin- those darn grey waves -unifies everyone and breaks Established World Order to remake it with the power of friendship.

So we can rewrite a couple Rev chapters- say, the wind tribe one -into The Tribe Squad bickering over it being Time For Prophecy (of which it obviously is but also tee hee what if it isn’t)

Obviously there’s all sorts of dynamics to who has what blood and legitimacy of heirs and all that but its 2am braincell tired just take the content please