#i miss the sea

[dysnomic-absolution]

i’m years i’m hours i’m minutes away from now. i don’t remember yesterday but i do remember the sand under my feet. that grainy landscape, wet from the tide pulling its lips back to reveal those sodden gums. i remember jellyfish washed ashore—just a couple, these bright, dead wonders. i remember driftwood, and seaweed that’s sharp to the touch. i remember a roiling sea of emotions in my head, trying desperately to interpret my mother’s silent rage. my father’s explosiveness. i remember cursing at him for the first time. that anger, bigger than a child of twelve. bigger than the sadness. so unfathomable, burning me away. i remember little cones and turrets and the blunt, scalloped edges of a shell the exact shade of aged bone. i remember the ocean, that salt burning in my nose and my mouth and the water in my lungs, little body so sure. certain. i think i lost her there, in the waves. i think the current kept her, because she isn’t here anymore. i remember unconscious joy, singleminded determination to go further out. always further. i remember that golden gleam as i dove for that ring. thinking i had found a spark in that well-traveled reef. coming up into open air to shout, “I FOUND SOMETHING! DAD!”

what are the odds that your father loses his wedding ring in the open ocean, and you find it again?

i remember the opulence of a strawberry smoothie, more than once. caked in mud, and buried in the sand by my uncle. then running, all of us, into the waves. i remember holding his hand, and almost being ripped away by the strength of the water. delighting in it. reveling in my own fear.

i remember being cocooned in a wave, and taking a breath. i remember an impossibility. oxygen entering, wreathed in salt water, where there is no air for my human lungs.

god do i remember the sea. i remember the ocean. years away, countries away. i remember the small island where i bought a book i thought i would never see again. i remember everything except the house where we stayed. i remember the cats, the wind, the car as if i were driving it myself.

always years, hours, minutes away.

never here.

always there.

somewhere else.

[therian-cat-mitzy]

The feeling of singing and not being able to match the pitch perfectly, of no longer having that echoing quality to your voice, of having it feel scratchy and off-key and wrong-

[amyriadfthings]

look at her

[mmolia]

On the Nude Beach 36x52, oil on canvas

Victor Lyapcalo

[matrose]

im thinking of going to the cliffs by the sea this weekend i hope ill be feeling better by then‼️

[designstyria]

I miss the sea 🌊 😞

[cj-kenobi]

I miss my wife (the ocean)

[ayzscream]

[thesleepylavender]

.

[bypatia]

i want to be 12 again, looking for quirky seashells with my sister on a beach I know we’ll never see again

[everythingdreams]

Nothing like yearning for a good swim in a fresh pool at midnight only to forget bathing suit and towel so you have to choose between swimming naked or taking 300 steps back to your hotel

[amyriadfthings]

[goryfluff]

Googly-eyed Stubby Squid | Nautilus Live + their commentary

[siriusly-the-best-bi]

Anyone ever have the vague feeling that you’re a little victorian english boy on your death bed due to illness with your pale limp hand laid across your heart as you wistfully yearn for the coast and the sea or is it just me?

[creatureimages]

the sug

[namesbringpower]

Ruined me for ever living anywhere else.