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#i need 2 like. be awake
candyredterezii · 2 years
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my energy has been just fucking 0 for the last few days man. even my adhd meds and shit arent helping i just have like
no drive for SHIT.
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hi!! howdy!! hello!! i have a question about the lights out au !! :D How did Poppy, Frank and Wally react to Howdy waking up? How did HE react to waking up?? sorry if this was already asked hhaha
lots of emotions! i will portray Two
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mewtwo24 · 7 months
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Not to be That Guy but like.
Am I the only one that can't stop thinking about how Tianlang-Jun says about Luo Binghe that he pretends to be cold-hearted like his mother. The hint of fondness there, the heartache in that utterance.
Like it drives me absolutely insane. Imagining her putting on a front of strength, cold and driven and unrelenting. Why does TLJ say that about her. Did she secretly look for solutions that meant reconciling with demons instead of hurting them when her sect wasn't looking? (I wonder this because I feel like his weird fondness for SQQ would lowkey track if it's connected to the woman he once loved.) Did he mean that she was tasked with basically assassinating him and she fell in love with him instead (re: failed step one)? Did he mean that she was fond and doting in her own way (e.g. conceding he was attractive, paying for his exploits and humoring him)? Did he mean that, like LBH, she thought that power would be the thing to protect her--and that it was disguising a person who was deeply and privately wounded? All four????? I don't need sleep I need a n s w e r s
Did she know about the Huanhua Palace Master's skeevy ass intentions before she met TLJ? Or did those only come to significant light after she fell in love with TLJ? Is that why she never anticipated that level of betrayal, because initially she had no intention of being with anyone romantically? And HHPM just assumed she would be under his thumb forever?? Was she furious at her own indiscretion or did she try to use the pregnancy as a bargaining chip, a way to try to stop the immortals of Cang Qiong Mountain from attacking TLJ (plus the bonus of marriage entrapment no takesies backsies this is where LBH gets it from)? Did she try to use that claim on her to dissuade HHPM from his covetous advances, framing herself as tainted so that she could finally escape? Did she dream of a life by TLJ's side, far away from Cang Qiong Mountain?
Like. Literally every single permutation of what this could mean guts me to hell. Do you ever just cry about tianxi because I--[loud bawling noises]
#svsss#tianxi#tianlang jun#su xiyan#like this shit keeps me awake at night#i'm trying to put fic ideas together and every time i go back to that line i just#find myself trying to parse and hone out su xiyan's mannerisms/personality#zzl's descriptions help a great deal but i also love that they're limited in the sense that#1. zzl was clearly scared shitless of/disconcerted with her LMFAO#2. he was suspicious of her (as a cultivator fundamentally) and its fascinating that TLJ did not seem to share this suspicion at all#or one could argue tlj just didn't care beyond his attraction and glee being around her jkahglfdskjhsfkhjg#there is also the hilarious implication that part of what turned tlj on so much about sx is the fact that she could prbly kill him#tlj really said 'i love a woman who can and WILL kick my ass'#'none of that soft power seduction shit manhandle me or nothing'#like he always believed deep down--or at the very least wanted to believe--that she loved both him and lbh dearly#i'm not usually the fix-it fic type but the Way I Need To See Su Xiyan Destroy Huanhua Palace Master's Entire Life.#i just want sx and her boytoy to live happily ever after is that so wrong?#i also think of that person (im so sorry tumblr user i dont rmr who u are at the minute) that said there had to be trust between tlj and sx#because YES. ABSOLUTELY. I AGREE. AND I WANT IT FOR ME#don't mind me just the usual descent into madness anytime i think too hard about svsss#i need to outline damn you airplane and your refusal to expand on LBH's juicy ass backstory#ill never forgive the chinese (joke)
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duskerot · 6 months
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i disappear inside myself / my friends don't know it can't be helped
[Pure You - Nothing But Thieves]
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idyllcy · 1 year
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and baby, if you knew
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word count: 2.1k || pt2 of saying we're just friends
warnings: mentions of the night before (?), morning after, hickies (?)
summary: oh the horrors of getting caught the morning after
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You stare at yourself in the mirror, blinking incredulously. (Partially out of pure shock, partially because sleeping with your contacts on was NOT a smart decision on your end)
Holy fuck, Tim got mouthy with you.
You tilt your neck to brush your fingers over the hickeys, gawking at the way it trails down your neck and collar to your chest, the purple popping on your skin. Sure, you weren't half as pale as Tim was, but hello? You didn't even bring concealer. You weren't expecting him to take you to the Wayne Manor. 
"Tim." You swallow, grimacing.
Tim raises a brow, shirt pulled halfway over his head.
"How many hickeys did you give me? Do you have a whisk? Do you have ice? Are you secretly a vampire???"
"One question at a time, lovely." he mumbles. "Seven. There's a whisk and ice downstairs. I am not secretly a vampire, although I can see why you'd guess that."
You blink at him. "Do you have a collared shirt?"
"Just settle for one of my shirts for now." He pulls the shirt over his head, tossing you the other one in the bed. 
"Please tell me it's not sheer."
"It's not."
"Thank GOD you're rich." You mumble. "It's a blessing to have non-sheer white shirts."
"Yeah, I get that." He mumbles. "Come on. Alfred called us for breakfast a little ago."
"Which one of your siblings are here?"
"We'll see." Tim hums, shutting the door to his room. (All of them are downstairs, likely. They were probably having a post-valentine debriefing like they usually do. Bruce was not spared from it.)
You duck behind Tim when you notice everyone having breakfast.
"You said we'll see! Are none of them staying with the people they were out with last night?!"
"It happens every year." Tim hums, holding his hand out for you. "Come on. Don't do the walk of shame."
"Seriously. I run a stan account for you and live in my dorm. I'm practically a hermit." You deadpan. "I am NOT cut out to be meeting your family this early in the morning."
"Master Tim, young miss. Are you ready for breakfast? We are having pancakes."
"Just kidding I would kill for pancakes right now." You mumble, following behind Tim as he sits you next to him.
All eyes are on you as you adjust the collar of your shirt, the tag scratching against your skin, the hickeys on your neck visible. You thank Alfred as he places a plate before you, and you start at the chocolate chip pancakes. Holy shit, fuck the eyes on you, this was heaven.
"Alfred, do you have a recipe book?" You blink at him, eyes wide in admiration. 
"Which recipe would you like, young miss?"
"Oh, all of them if possible. I'd love to be able to cook half as well as you can." You hum, taking another bite of your food. "Do you have a digital copy?"
"Unfortunately, all of it is on paper or in here." He smiles, tapping his brain. "But I am more than willing to provide you with any recipes you may like."
"Mm!" You shove the last piece of the pancake into your mouth, swallowing as you get up. "Tim, do you have a laptop? I want to type a couple recipes down and transcribe what's on paper—"
"Pull open the drawer to your left." He hums.
You pull it open, blinking at him.
"There's a false bottom in it. One of my spare laptops is in it. The password is a combination of letters." He hums.
"With significance?"
"Yes."
"Oh, then I know an approximation, then." You hum, working your finger into the side as you prop it open, pulling his laptop out. "Is it our birthdays?"
"Wait, how did she–" Dick's cut off when you manage to open it on your first try.
"Alright. I'm gonna go! I'll be with Alfred if you need anything." You smile.
"She just?" Duke blinks incredulously. "Did she just hack open your laptop on her first try? Is she in compsci like you?"
"English." Tim grabs a couple pancakes, cutting off a piece of butter. "Creative writing, technically."
"Oh, is she making her own major?"
"Yes." Tim hums. "I don't actually know how she guessed that it would be our birthdays since I only changed it a little while ago. It'd be easier to open if it was just our birthdays combined. Maybe she was stalking me."
"Or, maybe all the years of running a Robin Twitter account finally paid off." Jason shrugs. "She's quite a big writer on the internet too, you know?"
"Yeah." Tim hums. "She's quite the character. Have you read her works?"
"I have." Damian speaks up. "Her writing resembles poetry, pulling on the strings of your heart and snapping them at moments you least expect."
"You've read her works?!" Tim raises a brow at Damian. "That's surprising."
"She resembles the poets."
"She'd love to hear that come out of your mouth for sure." Tim mumbles. "Anything else I should know?"
"She covered me for change once while I went to buy cup noodles." Cass mumbles.
"I'm mutuals with her on Twitter?" Steph points.
"Okay, that's not the point. Timmy." Dick deadpans. "Did you sleep with her last night?"
"Sex or just plain sleeping? Because we did both—"
"I DIDN'T GET TO GIVE YOU THE SHOVEL TALK!" Dick cries. "Okay, when a man and a—"
"Dick, I'm well over into the ages of a legal adult." Tim sighs. "Besides, I'm like seventy percent sure that you gave me the shovel talk when you first found out I was dating Ari in high school. Also, I got one from my dad and Bruce, so I think I'm good."
"Oh, right." Dick mumbles. "But still."
Steph pauses. "Does she want a whisk?"
"She was asking for one earlier." Tim hums.
"We'll go help." Cass mumbles, getting out of the seat, dragging Steph.
"Okay, Tim. Is she the one who was making you all red and blushy during Christmas?" Dick slides closer to him, throwing an arm around his shoulder.
"Yes." Tim sighs, batting Dick's hand away. "She was."
"How'd you ask her out?"
"Told her if she had nothing to do on Valentine's, then she could stick with me and I could plan a date." Tim reaches for another pancake.
"And she agreed?" Jason snorts. "Wow. She's way out of your league."
"Yeah, but at least I got B's absolutely insane ability to pull." He mumbles. "Pulled way out of my league, for sure."
"If you fumble her I fear the things that will happen to you, Drake." Damian clicks his tongue.
"Do I... know her?"
"Duke," Damian sighs. "You're smarter than this."
"He's messing with you right now." Jason pours himself another cup of coffee. 
"What's your relationship with her." Tim deadpans.
"She used to peer review my poems." He hums. "It didn't click until Damian showed me her information this morning, though."
"You just let them go through my girlfriend's personal information?!" Tim finally looks at Bruce, who only gives him a shrug.
"No harm in knowing a little more about your girlfriend."
"I swear, if you bring her in on the vigilantism—"
"That's not happening. I can promise that." Bruce glances at his almost empty mug. "Does she know?"
"She called me out for being Red Robin last night in the car." Tim sighs. "Besides, it'd be strange if she didn't notice immediately how similar Red Robin and I's voices are."
"She's been running your account for how long... now?" Bruce motions for Jason to pass him the coffee.
"Since middle school, so like..." Tim pauses. "Give or take seven years."
"That's a long time." Dick mumbles. "My longest-running fanpage is only six-ish years." 
"If you count the Gotham Gazette, then I've been running for the longest." Bruce snorts. "Is she the one?"
"I think she is." Tim smiles. "And if she's not..."
"Then I will personally see the end of your life, Drake." Damian grumbles. "I shall have mother adopt her and have her write poetry for me in exchange for a living space and food. She shall be the equivalent of a court poet except to mother and I."
"I honestly think she wouldn't turn that down." Tim grimaces. 
"Is she that desperate?"
"She's joked about sleeping with a millionaire to make some money." Tim grimaces. "Something something desperate situations call for desperate measures."
"She would love it in mother's mansion, then." Damian hums, sipping on his tea. "I shall have her write a poem for your death. It shall be my last mercy."
Tim grimaces. "What if she breaks up with me?"
"Then you're in the fault, obviously." Jason mumbles, looking at his phone. 
"So it's my fault regardless of what happens?"
"Listen, her tweets are unhinged. You can't say you like crazy girls and then get annoyed when you date one and she acts insane." Jason grumbles.
"He's got a point, Timmers." Dick hums. "I hope it works out for the best, regardless of the ending."
"Twenty bucks they are endgame." Damian mumbles.
"Alfred bet ten that Tim would pop the ring."
"Ugh, come on. You know no one out-bets Alfred." Dick groans. "Did he set up the jar?"
"He did. This morning." Duke hums. "I put my bet in too."
"Come on–"
"You can't say shit when you bet on all of our relationships and pretty much came out unscathed in all of them." Jason glares. "Shut it."
Tim rolls his eyes, surrendering himself to the idea that his relationship would get bet on. 
"Tim, can I marry your sisters?" You come out of the kitchen, eyes sparkling.
"We're dating." He sighs. "Pretty bird—"
"EWWWWWWW" A mixture of faked hurls and gags are heard in unison as Tim rolls his eyes. 
"Ignore them. Why do you want my sisters?"
"The hickeys are all," You pull your shirt down too to show your cleavage, the hickeys no longer visible, "gone! Your sisters are really good at this."
"Yeah..." Tim sighs, reaching to pull your shirt back up. "Steph isn't my sister, by the way."
"Oh, yes, I know." You smile. "After all, if she was, it'd be strange that you've dated her before." 
Tim chokes on the air at your statement.
"Besides, she's my mutual." You hum. "I also got Alfred's recipes, by the way." You hum, smile on your face. "I also got his chocolate chip cookie recipe, though I need to figure out what the secret ingredient is."
"A dash of vanilla extract." Tim lowers his voice. "Don't tell the rest of the family."
"Got it." You give him a thumbs up. 
"Do you cook?" Damian speaks up.
"I do! Mainly ethnic foods, since there isn't much of that here in Gotham." You mumble. "Got any good Chinese places?"
"Oh, there's this place on Seventh Ave and Jester." Bruce speaks up. "I used to get dim sum there. It's only open from eight to twelve, and you need to get in via reservation. Feel free to borrow my name whenever. Just make sure to invite me."
"Uncle Dan's, right?" You beam. "I went there a while back with another friend, but I miss like... the dim sum that's messy and chaotic in the morning."
"Oh, then try the one on Lightbeam." Dick pauses. "Ah, what was the other street?"
"Oh, that one's good." Duke agrees. "Sam Woo's Dim Sum and BBQ."
"I've had that too!" You smile. "They're good, just quite a while from the university."
"If you really want something good," Cass speaks up from behind you, "try Jin."
"Jin?"
"It's smaller, but it's family-run, and it's been doing business in Gotham for three generations already." Cass hums. "They're called Jin, but the Chinese character for gold. They're right by Gotham U too. On the corner by Circle K."
"The sketchy looking alley??" You blink.
"Yes, but their dumplings are to die for." She pauses. "And they sell in bulk if you want to boil any in your dorm."
"Tim, I want your sister."
"Pretty bird, we just started going out." He clicks his tongue. 
"Tim, if you break her heart, I will date her." Cass blinks.
"You can visit her when she stays in mother's mansion."
"Hm?" You turn to blink at Damian.
"Ignore him—"
"Should you and Drake break up, I have already arranged your living arrangements, should you agree to it."
"And what might they be?" You hand the laptop to Tim, pointing at the document you shared with yourself.
"With my mother. Your only job shall be to write poems and short stories to entertain her."
"Living and writing for the Talia Al Ghul? Count me in." You sigh dreamily. 
"Alright." Tim shuts the laptop after changing the password. "We're going to get going before her roommate calls the cops on her."
"Oh, right!" You mumble. "It was a pleasure meeting you all! I hope to see you again sometime?"
"Tim, send her number in the chat later!" Dick calls as Tim pulls you out.
"Sorry, they're quite embarrassing." Tim mumbles.
"They're warm." You smile. "I like it."
"Yeah?"
"Yes." 
Tim sighs in relief at the look of fondness on your face. Right.
You'll be fine.
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catastrxblues · 1 year
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current mood right now
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hacksawboy · 1 month
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medic but hes in a shitty i cant decide animatic from 2017
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sleepy-pile-of-ashe · 28 days
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( @nothingtoblue )
Finally watching Dungeon Meshi
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hypogryffin · 1 year
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how do u draw so much so fast
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well,
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peepingwizard · 15 days
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this man was a mad scientist in the woods in the 1970's, ofc he smoked like a chimney.
full sketch page beneath cut
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lighthouseshepard · 23 days
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the summer i didn't walk
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charmixpower · 2 years
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"Do me a favor. I just want to hear you say...that you'll come back. You'll come back...to me."
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m-v3nus · 1 month
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look, im a die hard top 50 yeehan shipper as of currently, But I very much doubt they'd be in a traditional, longterm, completely monogamous relationship.
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thebirdandhersong · 8 months
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It is some consolation that one day this will not make me bristle
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puppyeared · 9 months
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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blaithnne · 10 months
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so I’m realising my intense anxiety for Hilda’s third season to come out is PROBABLY an autism thing
#like. it’s been 2 years of it being the same#the fandoms been in the same place and the show has too#and now it’s gonna change and it is giving me so much anxiety#when the special interest is so intense that you feel physically ill at the thought of new content because it’s just so overwhelming#<- that’s not my usual exaggerated ‘I’m so unwell’ thing either like I have layed awake at night feeling#sick LMAO#bc of s3#which is so frustrating because I’m excited! I love this show! I want more!#but because it’s so important to me. new content is going to have a big effect on me#and I don’t want it too cries#does that make sense? no? sick#it’s either an autism thing or there’s just something wrong with me either way I’d like this feeling to go away please it isn’t fun#hilda#textpost#it’s like I just want it to come out already so I can watch it and know what’s happening cause I hate not knowing what’s going on#i need to have. my information organised#and rn I don’t#and that makes me rlly anxious lolz#like I’m anxious for season 3 in a good excited way#but also in a geniunley bad way#I wish my brain was. normal lo#l#this got more venty than I meant it to sorryblads#might delete later#I’m sad hilda is ending bc it’s over and I don’t want it to be but#also it’s weirdly comforting to know that I don’t have to go through this intense anxiety again#cause I don’t get like this with other fandoms! dr who for example I’m living new content#but for Hilda I geniunkey feel unwell#it’s the same with the idea of there ever being new ducktales content#I care so much that it’s. bad for me lol??
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