#i need an offline hobby but everything is so frustrating

[prrices]

i dont care oh my god i dont care i dont fucking care

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I suspect I know the answer but. AITA for "disappearing" from my online accounts pretty regularly?

I (22) have been fairly active in online fandom culture since I was ~13. Most of that has been on tumblr, some on twitter/tiktok/discord. I bounce around between different fandoms-- there's not really any one fandom that has stuck since I was a kid-- and I'm not a big creator. I don't do art, I occasionally write fanfic but never anything that's gotten super famous (which I'm cool with, I write for the enjoyment of myself and the like 5 other freaks who like the same things I do. it would honestly really bother me if I got too much attention.)

I also have some issues with paranoia and social detachment. I dealt with rather severe childhood abuse, which I'm not going to discuss, but which basically means I'm very emotionally detached. I have solo hobbies i really enjoy, and I like discussing common interests (like fandom stuff) with people, but I've never really had friends/romantic interests, and have zero interest in either of those things. The only people I'm really close to are my siblings. I'm definitely not an introvert, not shy/socially anxious, and not lonely. I have morals and care about society in a general sense, and I want the best for people, so I try to be polite and a Good Person as much as possible-- but ultimately I don't feel any kind of attachment to other people. I really don't want to hurt people, I just want to be left alone.

I really try to politely communicate this to people, since I've had quite a few incidents where I've been told I "lead people on", or people thinking we're friends and then getting upset when they realize I really don't care that much about them. It does make me feel bad to hurt others like that (and is also frustrating to deal with), but I can't exactly force myself to have emotions. I get along well with my irl coworkers/classmates/roommates, since they understand I just need a lot of space. Where I may be TA is with online friends.

About once every 6-12 months, I delete my entire online presence and start over. I orphan my ao3 fics, delete any and all accounts, and make sure my new accounts don't in any way link back to my old accounts. Usually when I do this it's because 1 I've changed interests and don't care about my old fandom, or 2 I feel like the people I know online start getting too close and emotionally attached to me. I usually post an explanation a few days before so people don't think something bad happened, saying that I'm going to be taking a break from social media for a while, and if anyone asks me for another way to contact me I just say I'm going to be completely offline. Then I just.... wipe everything and start over. I don't really know what my old mutuals are doing and don't particularly care? Like obviously I wish all the best for them, but I just don't think about them at all.

I've been doing this since I was a young teenager, but I was discussing fandom/social media presence with some irl classmates recently and brought it up. The reactions ranged from "weird but harmless" to "super mean and hurtful to the people you abandoned".

So: tumblr, AITA for disappearing?

What are these acronyms?

[tkblythofficial]

SUBMITTED BY 🎉 ANON

TAROT READING ON R’s HEALING JOURNEY

🎉 Anon:

ok here’s my rachel healing journey reading

so what i got just reading it is just this feeling of exhaustion and fatigue

like she isn’t doing any work rn but still tired

she’s at home all day and even if she sees friends and her bf/family she still doesn’t feel as fulfilled going home

like a hamster on a wheel who still feels she’s still going

i can feel she probably isn’t sleeping well or eating enough or the right nutrients

a burning bowl/basically just a symbolic ending to her past full of hate, like she can chapter off this new era and acknowledge but let go of all the hate she got

deep breaths whenever she gets anxious or her panic attacks/going manic on soc med, a good massage for self care and meditating

she seems like a manifesting girlie so she probably knows this but the energy i get is she keeps delaying/procrastinating

acceptance and patience is important for her rn to make any progress in healing

acceptance - learning things she cannot change but also taking accountability on what she can change

to stop crying over spilt milk but deal with what she can change NOW

patience- in divine order, for her career, for everything she shouldn’t rush and be impatient because it’ll just make her more frustrated and possibly push good things that could be good for her (like how she nearly gave up thg a role that imo saved her career and public opinion)

expanding inner power- most powerful when creativity is given a voice, when she does something for her enjoyment not just work. like her writing songs is a good start, being creative

expressing free will- my choices determine how brightly i will shine; communication, blue is the colour for throat chakra too so using her voice not just singing but speaking and talking to a circle of friends she can trust is nice

unhooking the past- there’s nothing to regret when i learn from my past; i know her past has been painful with the hate, but it’s a good time to maximize and try not to give haters something they can use. don’t give them any ring they can use against her, to stay offline i think is a good lesson for her and her well being and also her public image

“your body is pissed at you -get the f outside. move your ass” probably hasn’t been as active with exercise as she usually is (i know she usually wears her gym fits when she works out but i haven’t seen any posts of it recently so i think that might help the funky energy from the emotional mess

“Thoughts can be sneaky, lying bastards - don’t believe every shitty thought you have” she’s an overthinker we know, but she doesn’t have to entertain every doubt she has.

“get after that shit. the world has your back - that project that person that idea is waiting” can be on a project or person she wants to work with or has thought of being with. she has some dreams and she may be doubting herself but she should take a chance and do it

“you are being shady - watch out shit could get ugly” i laughed reading this but part of her being shady and childish like this is making it worse for her and hinders her from really healing and being emotionally free. she needs to stop this behaviour and step back and realize how ridiculous she looks

amaryllis- determination and creative achievement (do something creative, for her own achievement and not always for a job or an award)

red rose- hidden secrets, keeping secrets from people around her and lying to herself and others will just bite her back

My reply:

I think everything tracks to what we’re seeing. Exhaustion and not being able to move on from the past. She entertains every negative doubt and we’re seeing the fallout from it. She’s stuck in her house with her phone and nothing to do. She needs a hobby and to be blunt, a life!

Honestly as I was reading, I know a lot of this is not going to happen any time soon.

Thank you for sharing! :)

[ketsubankoya]

I don't know what to do with myself.

Once upon a time, I was a medium-grade fanfic writer. I wrote fanfiction for Sailor Moon, which was already past its golden age but still had a good amount of life in it. I belonged to a few online communities and built a solid following, along with a number of long-lasting friendships with great people.

In the mid-2000s, I faded out of online fandom for two reasons. I burned out on writing after forcing my way to the end of a fanfic that had ended up being way longer than I'd ever intended, and I got involved in offline fandom. Primarily staffing conventions and events. Again, I poured everything I had into a community that meant the world to me.

It was the best and worst thing I've ever done. I grew into a stronger, more capable person, and helped bring cherished experiences and memories to thousands of my fellow nerds. I met amazing people, several of whom were instrumental in keeping me alive when my brain spent a few years trying to kill me. And yet, all human constructs are dumpster fires. Problematic people are everywhere. Whatever beautiful thing you're involved in, eventually it will go wrong. Things will get ugly, and whatever you loved will become unrecognizable. And I burned out again, and had to step back from that world.

So now, here I am. Trying to figure out what kind of life I'm going to have next. I've been indulging in several hobbies I haven't had time for over the past 20 years. But I feel adrift. I've always had trouble dedicating myself to any hobby enough to get good at it, but it's been a long time since I felt real fire for anything that lasted longer than a flash.

I've been struggling with this for several months at this point. I've been painting, I've been writing, I've been streaming, I've been redecorating, but I haven't gotten particularly far with any of them. Today, I'm realizing that as much of an introvert homebody as I am, I need community. I need connection with others doing the same things, and feedback from people who consume what I produce. Creating for others is instrumental to my motivation for doing anything.

It's frustrating, and sad. We should do things for ourselves, and for the pleasure of doing them, not for an audience, right? I don't know if I've ever in my life made anything with no intent to show it to anyone. I need the value found in sharing my efforts with others. So now I'm here on Tumblr, after carrying around an unused journal since last August. And after trying several other social media platforms in an effort to connect with people. I can't be productive in a vacuum.

What now? I've been strongly attracted to the thought of being a content creator lately. What kind of content, I don't know (see aforementioned list of hobbies). But there's another problem, when it comes to that. I'm not a creator. I'm not really a writer, or an artist, or any of those things. Everything I've ever made is either derivative or garbage. Every. Single. Thing. I make things, but I don't actually create anything.

There's an odd agony in wanting so badly to create something, but not actually being a creator. I keep waiting for the perfect hobby to pop up, but I don't have what it takes to seize that opportunity even if it were to arise. So I'm sad, and empty, and idle.

I don't know what to do with myself.

[pxppxrminty]

Hi!! Can I please get a matchup for stranger things, both eras of Harry Potter and lotr please? I'm a straight female and my pronouns are she/her

Physical description - I'm 5'9 and I have long and curly dark brown hair and brown eyes. I have a fair skin tone, I'm slim and I've got full lips and slight dark circles under my eyes. I dress mostly in relaxed suits, blazers and coats and I love the occasional dress or sweaters layered over a white button down! I think my aesthetic is dark academia with a little bit of 90s mixed in?

Hobbies/likes - I love reading, my favorite genres are poetry, Russian lit, and mysteries! I love learning about new things and knowing a little bit of everything, I'm very interested in psychology, history, mythology and folklore, and fashion! I adore adventures, witty and playful banter, joking around and having indepth discussions on anything and everything! I adore all forms of art and I have quite a few creative hobbies! I listen to a lot of modern/indie rock and I love watching psychological thrillers and romcoms.

Personality description - It takes me a while to feel comfortable around new people but once I do, I become really talkative and outgoing. I love helping out and I'm the therapist friend, people come to me to vent or for advice and comfort. I'm smart and ambitious; I love being the best at everything I do. I sometimes struggle with the hardwork and conviction needed to get there though, and I'm deathly afraid of failure and disappointing the people I love. I'm quite the hopeless romantic and I love being in love! I also daydream a lot and I can get lost in my own world for hours. I can be quite dramatic and stubborn and I tend to be withdrawn and distant at times. I get frustrated easily and I'm quietly competitive. My love languages are quality time (receiving) and acts of service (giving)

Thank you very much!! I hope you have a wonderful day 🌟

Hiiii! Thank you so much for this request!! I’m so so sorry it took me so long to get to this! I’ve been dealing with some stuff offline, but I’m back now and I hope this will suffice!

I’d match you with SAM!

— Oh my gosh, he would adore you so much!

— I feel like at first he’d be super shy about showing you off and stuff but really he loves bragging about you to the others

— your guys’ matched stubbornness and determination can either cause friction or be a powerful asset against whatever you’re up against

— he’s always checking up on you and making sure you aren’t overwhelming yourself with work or with other people’s problems

— I definitely think he’s got a garden or something where he’d take you to relax if you’ve been over stressed

— he’d also be such a good listener

— if you took up gardening, he’d be ecstatic

— I mean little hobbit boi would be thrilled that he can share something he’s passionate about with someone he’s passionate about

— ugh cuteness overload

I’d match you with REMUS!

— ok my academic-rivals-to-lovers senses are tingling

— ok ok it’s cliche sure

— but c’mon

— once you both realize that you like each other, you stop fighting over O.W.L. practice exam scores and instead help each other study

— now that doesn’t mean you guys don’t stop being academic rivals, just more tame

— the Marauders had definitely teased Remus about liking you for ages before he got fed up and just asked you out

— now you just kinda got absorbed into the Marauders

— I feel like you guys are that couple that just like cuddle and read books together that every book nerd is envious of

— Hogsmeade dates are a must

— when you found out that he was a werewolf he was terrified you would shun him or break up with him

— when you assured him that you wouldn’t and that you weren’t terrified or disgusted by him he was so relieved

— he definitely fell in love with you then

I’d match you with FRED!

— Oh dear lord the chaos he’d cause in your life

— he’s always playing pranks on you

— he also constantly tries to remind you to loosen up if your in a work slump

— despite his chaotic nature, he really would love you

— he’d be your number one supporter and make sure to encourage you in everything you do

— And I mean everything

— he’s also definitely going to be big on pda

— constantly has an arm around you

— kisses all the time

— he also always knows what to do to engage you in a deep discussion

— like please he loves listening to you ramble

— so sometimes he comes over to you with a really bizarre or obscure question either about what you’re reading or about mythology

— just so he can hear you rant about it

I’d match you with STEVE!

— I feel like you two would have such like domestic old married couple vibes

— like he’d come home from dealing with the kids and he’s just like “let me tell you what those gremlins did today-“

— And then you’d have to unwind with a movie 

— if you come and visit him at work, trust, he will be trying to (and probably failing at) showing off for you

— Also, now you and Robin are besties because that’s just how it works

— he loves your style and always wants to go shopping with you

— also I’m 90% sure that playing with his hair is necessary

— He’s also going to encourage you no matter what

— “It’s not just you against the world, you’ve got me too”

[amazingphilza]

maniac :: cc!tommy x reader

angst (?) , platonic (?) , gender neutral ! ib: conan gray’s maniac

this is satire & note that i write the reader to be a few months younger than tommy (besides that, i think it is fully inclusive !)

synopsis : you put all your hard work towards a useless crush. with no expectation for reciprocated feelings in the first place, it still all ends in a bittersweet slap to reality.

you grew up with minecraft and it was an understatement to say it was part of your childhood

even years later, you still maintained interested in the game

it wasn’t just a simple video game, the community inspired you to do many things

you aspired to be like the creators you watched at a young age like sky, dantdm, cupquake, stampy, and many more

making people happy and entertained was a dream

and when minecraft slowly began trending again in 2019, you started making your own content whenever you felt like it out of fun

you never got much views but it was an enjoyable experience nonetheless

but it wasn’t until the first minecraft monday you decided to push a bit more with your hobbies and worked hard to make it somewhere

however balancing your passions with school wasn’t the easiest

given, you were still only around 15 and your content wasn’t even that good

with not much of a goal or plan with your youtube channel, you fell out of interest eventually

you loved minecraft but you always a rocky relationship with it; getting back into it for a few months then pretending it never really existed for another few

besides the occasional videos you watched in your pass time, you didn’t stay that updated

then lockdown happened

it changed everything and even got you regressing back to old interests

soon enough you were back to minecraft

there was so much to catch up on

hermitcraft season 7 just started, there was minecraft championships, and smp earth and smp live, and so much more to look forward to watching

you were a bit late on both of the smps but your interest peaked specially towards smp earth and it didn’t stop you from watching the past videos

you first gravitated towards a certain youtuber’s videos first since you remember stumbling onto his videos before from your recommended page; wilbur soot

besides recognizing him from his you laugh you lose series and making parody-type of songs, you didn’t know much

however with a few clicks, you had binge watched his smp earth series effortlessly

you found yourself falling down the endless hole, finding more creators to watch through wilbur

one in particular caught your eye in an interesting way

tommyinnit

my god, how can someone be so annoying and pushy in these videos? like shut up already

and to find out he was barely months older than you frustrated you

you just wanted to be better in some way

if someone like him could be popular, why can’t you? yelling at others and causing problems didn’t seem that hard

and so you went back to working hard on your previously failed youtube channel but this time with a goal; be better than tommyinnit

it was a weird aspiration in your head but it worked

he was your age and successful, why need a better motivator?

tommy wasn’t the sole reason why you strive to make content since you truly did want to create videos to entertain people like the youtubers you originally grew up watching

and with the amount of free time you had, you thoroughly analyzed his content; what was the most popular, how he streamed, edited his videos, everything

you just completely studied the algorithm in general

along the way, tommy’s personality grew on you

tommy was undoubtedly a very loud and energetic person but you became fond of his ambitions

you understood why he was popular at such a young age; he was a natural entertainer

your spite towards the boy turned into a hope

a hope to be at par with him someday and even be mutuals

and it was like your dreams were suddenly manifested into existence

you gained a large following in the early months of lockdown and even was recognized to be apart of minecraft championships

it felt like yesterday that you were just watching your favorite youtubers livestream the same competition

and now you were situation in a team to play yourself for the first time instead of being a viewer for once

not to mention, with tommyinnit as a teammate

how did you manage to get so lucky?

under the excitement, you felt beyond never nervous waiting in the empty discord call for your team to join you to practice the mini-games

in the middle of gathering your thoughts together, you heard a sound from discord signaling someone joined the call

“uh, hello?”

you heard the familiar british accent you spent hours listening to from countless streams and videos

“h-hi! i’m y/n, how are you?”

you hoped tommy couldn’t hear the strain in your voice due to fighting your nerves, but you quietly celebrated that you didn’t freeze up altogether

“oh i’m good, thank you. and i’m tommy by the way, this is the first time we’re speaking, yeah?”

“yep! it’s nice to meet you”

“yeah, i’ve seen your name around the timeline a few times, you seem cool”

oh my god what?

“thanks! um i actually really enjoy your content not gonna lie”

“oh wow, good shit!”

and the conversation smoothly went on, bouncing back and forth between you two before your other two teammates joined the call

once everyone was situated, you decided to start streaming since it was your first mcc and you wanted a vod of you practicing to look at later on as a memory

your chat immediately noticed how much you were enjoying yourself, especially after all the short stories of talking about who inspired you in the past

the smile plastered on your face never left

after stream and your other teammates went offline, it was you and tommy left in the call once together again

“it was nice talking to you tommy! and the practice was really fun, i cant wait for the actual competition!”

“yeah definitely, we’ll for sure place high”

“hopefully. it’s my first time and i hope i don’t cost us the dub”

“nah, you think so? i mean rt and plumbella are also our team mates so you know, it’s all for fun in the end”

you knew tommy was implying the teamwork wasn’t going to be the best compared to the other teams but at least in the end you’ve both made a new friend

“yeah you’re right!”

“anyway it’s getting late imma hop off”

“okay tommy, talk to you soon?”

“yep!”

“alright byee”

“bye!”

the moment he left the call, you felt a sense of relief before a small wave of sadness took over

you wanted to continue talking to tommy but you knew you had other responsibilities to tend to

for the rest of the day, you couldn’t stop thinking of the call and mcc practice

the funny jokes, singing random songs, screaming for no reason, everything

it even kept you awake until the early morning

you buried your head in a pillow and screamed into it after realization hit

y/n no

no no no no no no no

you tried to recall anything that remotely related your other teammates which you remembered that didn’t include tommy

even if it was a few hours ago, you couldn’t pin point something specific

no

i must just be forgetful, right?

what the hell did rt and plumbella even say that whole call?

you vividly remembered everything with tommy and it was clear to you why

surely not

with putting a hand on your chest above your heart, you confirmed that you couldn’t lie to yourself based on the rapid speed

you liked tommy for a good while but it hadn’t clicked to you until now

eventually you fell asleep due to exhaustion but that’s to say you didn’t do so without imagining spending more time with tommy

ever since that day, time went by in a flash

your team didn’t do the best in mcc but it had been a while since then to have that as a concern

sadly you and tommy didn’t talk as often as you hoped but that didn’t make you have less feelings for him

on some days you felt bad since you thought you didn’t know enough about him to even be allowed to crush on him

it was a bit unprofessional but you were nearly 16, it’s normal to have these little crushes right?

eventually time came to rescue when tommy asked you if you wanted to accompany him in the dream smp

undoubtedly, you said yes

and for the few months during summer, it was where you two became even closer than before

however, once both of you two had to go back and attend school, it was harder to catch up with each other

even on calls together off stream, the occasional snapchat notification going off irked you in a way you couldn’t explain

only winter break was the small pause on your disappointment

but even then, it was a slow but steady hill of repressed sadness and frustration until early spring of the following year

you had hoped 2021 would be better than last year but after scrolling through twitter one day and seeing stans making rumors about how tommy had a crush on one of his classmates gave you the same pain you felt when school started last fall

you dreaded to look over at tommy’s most recent story time stream vod where all the gossip arose from; it was him stumbling over his words with the mention of a girl during a certain part

jealousy wasn’t the right word to describe the way you felt

you would never go out of your way to make tommy reciprocate the feelings you had for him

and if he liked someone else the way you saw him, you wouldn’t mind

having a crush is ecstatic, and if he has someone like that too, you should be happy

right?

you tried

what finally broke you was seeing a tiktok a few weeks later of tommy in college with eryn and another girl talking

you didn’t know how she looked like or anything but you wanted to sob

good for him

she didn’t even say much in the video and you dont know enough about tommy’s personal life to jump to conclusions like this

you knew you were acting irrational and you couldn’t be upset at tommy for something he couldn’t control

if anything, you never directly showed interest in him

you didn’t want to in the first place

it was a bad idea from the start

you looked back at the past year and all your intentions

what kind of sick fanfiction did you think you were living?

becoming a content creator, hoping to blow up, just to talk to a big youtuber you had a crush on?

oh my god

y/n what is wrong with you?

listen to yourself, y/n

you need to get some help

whether tommy was dating or even just had interest someone was none of your business

you had to move on no matter what it was and be good and supportive friend

it was dreadful to get over a stupid crush like this but after so much work you put in, you gave some sympathy for yourself

in a friend perspective, you were happy with whatever tommy did and was satisfied your friendship together, but you hadn’t realized how much you gambled from the beginning

and just for a crush?

you couldn’t comprehend how far you gone because you fancied someone

it wasn’t like anyone could get famous and become a popular content creator either

and now with you being on the dream smp along with a successful youtube channel at 16? you were grateful something pushed you enough to work this hard

but you’d never forget the fact everything that lead up to this point was a crush on no other than tommyinnit which first spurred from complete spite

“who’s the one better off now?” your thoughts mocked you from the complete irony

sigh

y/n, you maniac

[roleplayerconfessions]

🌴 Years ago, there was a reasonable backlash toward the online culture of offensively and aggressively 'diagnosing' muns they had an issue with. You wouldn't write that character if you weren't suffering from depression. Your psa comes off like you have NPD. I don't fully agree with and love everything you do and are, get help. It totally did need to stop, the push to do so was right, but what's taken its place feels worse to me.

Even when it is genuine and well intentioned, the rpc's collective obsession with mental wellness comes off as extremely condescending and a bit myopic. How is something 'positive' myopic? Easily. Rich people who tell those below the poverty line that they can fix everything by spending less and saving more are often not trying to be stupid and cruel, it's a simple solution based on their experiences and worldview. Just because we're all rpers on tumblr who are going to run into many of the same issues here, and with rping in general, does not mean anyone's experiences and solutions are shared by everyone.

I'm sorry that so many people, apparently, get 'caught in a spiral of negativity and rp addiction,' and I am happy that they realized this was going on and helped themselves, but stop applying that to everyone. We don't all need to take a step back, assess our rp addiction, hydrate, take up yoga, see a therapist, adopt a parakeet, start jogging, find inner peace, and increase our offline social activities because something in rp made us annoyed enough to vent. We're interacting with other people, it is actually a social hobby, and interacting with other people can be annoying and frustrating no matter where it happens or why.

For way too many muns, it doesn't seem to be anything but a spin on the same shit as before that is safer to say. You're unlikely to be disagreed with, likely to be supported if you phrase these things with 'caring.' Anything that other mun, or anyone else who sees it, says in response to you is automatically going to be the wrong thing, some kind of proof of what you've said in what comes down to still diagnosing them with various problems and giving them a treatment plan in a totally passive aggressive way instead.

No matter why you're doing it, implying that everyone else here is only here rping because they're suffering and the only way to stop it is to stop rping and/or approach all of life the same way you do is not the mental health positivity and awareness you think it is. Enjoying a hobby despite the problems with and in it isn't some kind of inherent self abuse, and expressing those issues in a safe space like this blog isn't evidence of it. Because someone views or participates in something differently than you or in a way that didn't align healthily with aspects of your life, personality, and mental health doesn't make them miserable or in the midst of crisis. That's invasive, condescending, controlling, infantilizing, and not changing the view of mental health for the better.

I'd personally rather have someone just attach a mental illness they know nothing about to me to be shitty, at least that was just aggressive and direct.

[iamviena]

Battle and Struggle

By: Viena Marfil

Blog: Personal Experience, Mental Health Awareness, Self-Care, Self-Awareness

Life has always been tough for people struggling with their mental health.

Photo by Dương Nhân from Pexels

For a college student, we’re thriving and doing our very best to chase dreams and goals in life that we’ve always been envisioning. But what about in the current state of the country? How was our college life? By the time I’m writing this, I am a third year Bachelor of Secondary Education student, majoring in English and I have experienced the ambiguity surrounding mental health condition that many of you may have also experienced.

At the end of the second semester of my first year in college when it all started – in March 2020, when my friends and I were having cheerful conversations when the suspension of classes were announced, we were low-key happy, of course – not knowing that a day will turn into week, turns into months and now nearing two years we never had face-to-face conversation again, given the far distance we have just to even meet. Unfortunately, it’s not just about that. 

“Everything became heavy and hard challenges came down pouring like it’s raining thorns.”

Photo by Yesaya Raditya from Pexels

Waking up at 6 am to climb a mountain to find a stable internet connection for my 7 am class and then come back down at 5 pm and most of the time I spent two to three more hours outside just to be updated. 

Do you know the feeling of being left out? But it’s more on I was too afraid to log out and go offline even just for a night because I might missed any academic related announcements and updates. Luckily, I have friends who knew my situation and they’re always there to support and aid me whenever I needed help. I have survived my second year in college with them, and now in our third year, the pandemic made us stronger together, and individually as a person.  It made us stronger but we also faced a certain point where we were weakened by the situation, and where there were lots of realizations. What I have shared with you was one of the reasons why I’m still holding onto college life because if it weren’t for them I would’ve stopped already.

Photo by Nurlan Tortbayev from Pexels

At this time lots of students are experiencing and feeling so much pressure, frustration, and worries that may lead to a serious condition like depression and anxiety – like slowly being swallowed by a quicksand, deteriorating their mental health and stability. You may have experienced and realize how much have you became a barren, unproductive and slowly losing interest in everything but also full of dread, and anxiety. To the point that you’ll never understand yourself anymore, feeling unmotivated yet you might still do and finish everything, the feeling that you wanted to sleep all day but couldn’t even close your eyes, trying to find a new hobby to entertain yourself but never worked, crying alone in your room for no reason, too tired but still not quitting because you don’t want to be seen and called a failure.

All of those things were also based from my experiences, we may have similar or different struggles but always remember that there will be people who can help and understand you even when you couldn’t and weren’t able understand yourself, and when you found them just talk, talk and let go of all of your worries. And from then on start to take care of yourself again and prioritize your mental health. It won’t be easy, but start to believe on the things you can do and start having faith in yourself, you’ll win against your struggles in life. There are numerous people who are as brave as you can be, so heal yourself – success awaits your arrival. Thank you for reading my story. You can also share your stories and I’ll listen.

 Now I’m sharing my favorite quote that helped me move forward from one of my favorite persons:

“Reality is crueler than our imagination, but we are stronger than the person who imagine ourselves to be. – Xu Minghao, SEVENTEEN”

Life is cruel, but always look for the brighter side, there will always be a situation where you can feel that you’re losing against your demons in life but always remember that there’s also a reason for you to fight back. Have faith and believe in God, and yourself. You are not alone in this battle.

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

[adposto2]

WHERE is Gulberg Greens Islamabad.

Whom to trust whom not to?. Especially when it comes to investments, I think making decisions in this regard are harder than that lifetime effort made to earn that heavy amount. For instance me, who had been saving up for a decade now but took me more than three years to gain confidence enough to buy land. The money lying in the bank was only losing its worth . So, I knew I had to make a decision soon for my future security.  Now the question rises whom to trust, rather how to? . Commercial Projects  in Gulberg Islamabad

As we all know how fraud is common in this market. I can’t forget the first time I visited a real estate agent, the land that cost 15lac he was selling for 20 lac. And when I made a decision to buy it, it turned out to be a non-progressing land and probably have no worth howsoever. Now I knew this time is the right time to invest especially in the vicinity of Islamabad, my tension turned into frustration as I had never felt so helpless before. I was desperate for help YES… but was there anyone to guide me… unfortunately NO! One day while I was surfing Facebook, I came across Gulberg Islamabad’s post. The image was visually pleasing . Later ,when I dig down more to the content of their posts and website, the features seemed interesting too. Flat for sale in Gulberg islamabad

On top of all that, the name of Gulberg was quite promising itself. It suddenly clicked me to visit that place and visit their sales office rather than random property dealers. I entered Gulberg Greens and I was stunned by its beauty and grand look. I was overwhelmed by the hospitality of the Sales team that involved educated men and women as well. A lady helped me out with all the queries and procedure. For the first time I felt relieved to be in the right place and right away… yes right away I signed a cheque and booked an apartment in Gulberg Heights. The Roman architecture and amazing features and facilities that this place is offering was worth relying. So now I own my property and I surely believe that where there is a will there is a way! Commercial Plots in Gulberg Islamabad

My New Year Resolution

New Year Resolution: Enough of struggles… now it’s time to do more with my life! This is what I said to myself in the beginning of 2019 and changed my perspective about life. Life as we all know tests us in every way but it’s us who decide whether to become a victim of it or have control over it by learning from our mistakes and experiences… We can surely make it better by becoming stronger, by expecting less and giving more, by focusing on our dear ones rather than those who hurt us and most of us by analyzing what we want from life and how to get it! Of course it isn’t as easy as it sounds and not a work of day or two.

With time I realized that though we are always trying to comprehend everything around us, the most difficult thing to understand is what lies within us. Literally sometimes it takes years to figure out something as little as what is best for us and what isn’t. If I sound silly just try convincing yourself to do something against your will… My time for the last 4 years didn’t seem to be in my favor . But I simply accepted my fate till I couldn’t bear more, as not just my personal and professional life but also the lives attached to me were getting unbearably affected. I for once realized the cost of shattering my confidence and blaming myself.

No one was going to offer me solutions… I had to be my own master. I started off by taking care of myself, making my faith in Allah stronger . Also in any type of  circumstance I didn’t let anything get me down. All this seemed impossible initially, but today I am where I am because of this. My relationships got better and I showed good progress at work. Along with work I started a new online business of mobile accessories in collaboration with my cosine. In just one year I have earned enough to make an investment. For 2020 I can proudly say that this year I will start a new better life at my favorite place in Islamabad, The Gulberg Islamabad.

I have already booked a plots in Gulberg Residencia and now I can’t wait to see my home being built where I will have everything I wish for, a place rather than a house will be my home. I will finally be able to make my family happy with this beautiful gift. As no doubt there is no place like Gulberg Islamabad.

Everyone wants to eat fresh fruits and vegetables. Don’t you???

In the serene and green Gulberg Residencia, is my beautiful home which means the world to me. And in that 7 marla home is my small lawn which is undoubtedly my favorite spot, my peace place. I can spend hours in my garden without getting bored since it makes me come alive from inside and I just love that feeling.

My mother, my favorite person is another person who loves this spot equally. Gardening is her hobby and more than me she the one who takes good care of this garden. My garden may be tiny, but its is filled with numerous colors of nature. Here you will see a huge and unique variety of flowers, fruits and vegetables. Roses are my all time fave. In addition to which we keep growing seasonal flowers and vegetables in the garden . Plots in Gulberg Green Islamabad.

The feeling is indescribable when you see the buds blooming, vegetable growing and new leaves sprouting… its like a new beginning of joy, hope and success. Plants are not just growing stem, they have a life. I often talk to them, while I water them, i pour my love and and when i hoe the soil, i know this care I put in them will in return bring more freshness to my life. Usually my day starts in my garden. It is a positive way to begin a day with the peace of mind. I practice deep breathing for around 20 minutes and then look at all the plants that I have.

I love spending the evening hours in my garden if I have time. Best are the days when my friends come over for evening tea. We chat and enjoy the beauty that surrounds us. My pretty little garden is surely an integral part of my life. This place vanishes all the negativeness and makes me happy in seconds.

THE BIG REAL ESTATE QUESTION

Isn’t it hell of a confusion to decide which society is the best! These days too many new residence societies are emerging and everyone claims to be the best.

Other than few famous names such as Bahria Town and GULBERG, we can’t really rely on anyone… can we? So many fraud examples are there to scare us from making an investment. Also when it comes to business, we are either putting all our money in the drain or luck has knocked our door.

I wonder how many people get looted just because they trust the decent looking humans who convince them with their words. With the out of the world promises imagine how lifetime savings are blown away with just a signature. Though we can’t blindly trust any agent few things must be considered before making any decision.

They have been working in Real Estate for a quite a long time.

Check out the successful transactions and the feedbacks of their previous clients.

Their contact details, be it online or offline should always be available and so should be the responsive rate.

They should definitely be affiliated with a registered office or should be registered by themselves.

They should have in-depth information of the real estate industry.

Must supply your real estate needs as their utmost priority.

They should guide properly for your transaction

My Encounter with a Real Estate Agent

Today, thanks to the education and awareness, women believe there is nothing on earth they can’t do, well… try dealing with an ignorant person without him staring at you top to bottom, as if you are sitting naked just for his entertainment.

Seems relatable doesn’t it? That’s not it, my encounter with the goof I’m referring to kept getting more and more interesting. He was none other but a real estate agent. My colleague told me about good investment opportunities at societies near new airport so I took some time off to visit a real estate office for a better understanding.

I entered a small office with few people all in white kameez shalwar, which till this day I don’t get why they only where white… is it their dress code? Or do they try to portray decency through their look. Well if so it didn’t really work on me. Instead of gaining interest all I wanted was to get away from the creepy looks.  I asked him straight about the rates and the best offers they had within the budget I had. And after this long question he asked … “Madam Ji, what would you like to have chai or thunda (cold drink)” ? Confused I simply said, “NO, I don’t have time, please come straight to the point”… “Madam, how can we let our guest go unserved? Please feel comfortable.

So I ended up with a glass of juice which turned out to be much needed to clear my throat. Every time I asked a questioned, his eyes became wider and he bent towards me more… I thought he was going to sit on the table on some point. Well long story short, I changed my mind, received a fake call and escaped. It was till few months back when I went to the sales office of Gulberg Islamabad where I realized that decent dealing is possible in this profession.

I went with my colleague expecting disaster but she came out satisfied with all her quires answered. Now I too have made up my mind to invest only in Gulberg Green Islamabad because it’s not just serene and green, it has the best offers according to your requirements.

Life at Gulberg Residencia

Indeed, it was one of the best decisions of my life… we can’t regret the fact that our environment has a great influence on us. In other words, if we can’t adjust in our surrounding, nothing else can make us happy, neither money nor luxury. On the other hand, peace of mind in this fast moving era is not that easy to find. Cities are getting more and more crowded and so when I was capable of making an investment, all I could think was… PEACE! My residence  was living in central area of Rawalpindi.

The daily traffic block added extra half an hour to my office distance which was only 10 km away. And not just travelling, I was sick of the noises, pollution and altogether, I was unhappy with my lifestyle… even going for outing was not a fun thing for me. I know many people are happy the way they are but not me and I couldn’t help it. I had imagined a better life for my wife and my two kids who meant the world to me.

One day I crossed a newly emerging society, the Gulberg Islamabad and I felt the urge to visit it. Though the elegant entrance with wide roads and amazing farmhouses, I thought this place is only for the elite class.  Out of curiosity I asked a shopkeeper who showed me the way to the Gulberg Customer Dealing office. Again I was impressed but hopeless for I knew my savings were not enough.

Gathering up my confidence, I told the Sales Executive guy Mr. Mohsin about my total saving. Of course his response surprised me with a proposal not just for a living opportunity, but it offered an exceptional lifestyle, beyond my expectations at Gulberg Green Residencia. Though I could only afford a 5 marla plot, it was more than enough for me and my family. I thought it was the best gift I could give to my family and so it was.

When I brought my wife my kids and my parents to show them my plot, my wife was in tears of happiness and my mother couldn’t be more proud of me. I can’t wait for the time when I will move in to spend my dream life with my family. At Gulberg Islamabad, live your DREAM with SERENE AND GREEN LIFESTYLE!

[callioope]

I’ve been vague about what has been going on in my life intentionally, both because I needed to tell some people offline first and because it’s a lot to process. 

But here is what happened: I am in the process of miscarrying.

I thought it might help to share my story. Miscarriage is more common than people realize and rarely talked about. If someone can benefit from my story, all the better, but mostly this is to help my grieving and coping process.

This is pretty detailed, so trigger warnings and all that.

Exactly one month ago, I read the results I had longed for: pregnant.

Today, I’m sprawled out on the couch in the most excruciating pain I’ve ever experienced. 

They don’t tell you that miscarriage is a process.

We’ve been trying to conceive since the end of last June. It was taking so long, I was convinced I’d be scheduling a fertility consultation this coming June. They tell you if you’re under 35, to give it a year. Before we started trying to conceive, I’d tell anyone about how time speeds up the older you get. It makes sense logically, of course, when a year is 1/5 of your life, it sure seems long, but went its 1/32, well... 

But this has been the longest eleven months of my life. The first month we started trying, I had an unusually long cycle. 39 days. I was so sure I was pregnant. My breasts had been hurting for two weeks. Husband and I were vacationing in Minnesota to see Aston Villa play. I bought a pregnancy test, beaming, excited, and was puzzled by the negative result. A week later, when my period came, I cried to my mother, and she said something about the universe saying I wasn’t ready or something. Whatever it was sounded bleak and ominous to my ears. It sounded like it meant I’d never be ready. 

The fall was busy and stressful, and despite all the tedious ovulation test strips, nothing happened except somehow, my period got lighter month by month. I was pretty sure something was wrong with me. I thought I had a UTI. (I was actually stressed and dehydrated, which I eventually remedied.) While I cried at a Sara Bareilles concert in November, my mother told me that her OBGYN said it can take as much at 9 months for the body to recalibrate after being on the pill.

Speaking of which. I’ve been taking the pill for over a decade. For the most part, I took it correctly. There is some leeway to taking it incorrectly, for the record. You can miss two pills in a row and it still has instructions for what to do (while cautioning to be safe and use extra protection). Maybe only once did I ever have to throw out a pack for missing too many in a row. 

(This is maybe neither here nor there, but rebelcaptain accidental pregnancy fics have become a bit of a pet peeve for me. Jyn and Cassian are far too careful and intentional to let that happen, and it is so easy to be responsible since there are so many birth control alternatives these days that don’t even require reliance on routine or memory.)

So, of course, the concern lately is that clearly 10+  years on birth control has messed me up. I do not know this objectively (what I do know is that I have OCD and anxiety and obsess over Everything That Can Go Wrong), but the point is that birth control really can have consequences that I don’t think are necessarily fully understood or studied. DO NOT GET ME WRONG, USE BIRTH CONTROL. My only regret is what I didn’t know.

I learned too late, but a lot of conception advice articles tell you to quit the BC as soon as possible. Even if my mom’s OBGYN is wrong, the general advice does seem to be that it can take up to 3 months for your body to recalibrate. So, if by any chance someone reading this is thinking about conceiving soon, if you take nothing else away from this rant, take this. I wish I had stopped taking the pill a few months before we actually intended to start trying.

After ten months of all this worrying, I finally got what I’d longed for. The moment I saw that positive result, it felt so surreal. There had been little things leading up to that moment, strange hints and signs, like I knew subconsciously even before a test would have been positive. I wrote that Howl’s Moving Castle pregnancy fic before I knew. I started learning “Here Comes the Sun” on my ukulele before I knew (it’s... silly, but I decided I wanted to learn the ukulele because I wanted to be able to play that song for my kids some day). It involves finger picking, so I’d been putting off learning it, but one day I just decided it was time. And finally, I decided to watch the latest season of Brooklyn 99. I’d avoided it because I knew Amy & Jake were also trying to conceive, and it was too emotional for me to watch that when I was so frustrated for how long I was taking. (Of course I didn’t realize they also had trouble, and watching it actually felt cathartic for me.) I got that positive result literally the next morning. 

I spent Monday, April 20, making checklists and spreadsheets. I set my first prenatal appointment for May 8. Those two and a half weeks were the slowest of my life. They stretched out like a rubber band. I couldn’t really focus on anything except this pregnancy I’d waited so long for. That’s probably why time moved so slowly. I wasn’t filling it with the hobbies I enjoyed, writing and playing my ukulele. All my overwhelmed brain could handle was the hilarious distraction of Community. Yeah, this is also around the time I disappeared from fandom. It was originally for a happy reason, I was just too excited to focus!

I know many women who have miscarried. The data seems to vary from source to source, but anywhere between 10% to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. I couldn’t wait to get to the doctor to confirm everything was okay. I wondered if they would do an ultrasound; I dreamed of seeing a fetus on that screen.

We started talking about how we were going to tell our family. We wrote a pretend promotion letter for my sister, promoting her from “sister” to “aunt” (she’s a badass at her job and we had recently been talking about her promotions so it was thematically relevant). We planned to do a video call with my parents where we played Quiplash and created custom answers related to the pregnancy. 

But we never got that chance. On May 8, I went in for my first appointment. I’d spent the last three days sewing a mask because the ones we ordered still haven’t arrived yet. So all the time I would have spent preparing myself for the worst (as is my way) was spent instead distracted by sewing and finishing up Community. 

They took me to an office first and went over medical history questions. “Any morning sickness?” the nurse asked. “Not at all,” I said. “Should I be worried?” “No,” she answered. “Consider yourself lucky!” 

(For the record, many women who carry to term do not ever get morning sickness.)

(It was just one of those unfortunate exchanges.)

Then the exam with the doctor. All in all, it’d probably been 30 or 40 minutes by this point, all of this excited talk. I was going to tell my parents on Mother’s Day. My due date was Christmas.

I video call my husband just in time for the ultrasound. 

There was no embryo. 

The doctor said a lot of women are ovulating later in their cycles due to the stress of the pandemic. At the time, I thought maybe. Hope is funny like that, in the face of logic. It started to grow like a weed in the cracks of my breaking heart. 

But the thing is, even with that stubborn hopeweed, I knew. I’d been doing this for ten months. I knew when my last period was, I knew when I ovulated. I was 7 weeks and 1 day, and there was no embryo, and that was it.

The beginning of the process of miscarriage. 

Technically, it’d started a few days before that appointment, but I was distracted at that time. I’d noticed one morning that there seemed to be more hair in the shower floor than there should be. 

Dots started to connect. My breasts had stopped aching. Now, they started to shrink back to their original size. 

This happened over several days. I felt certain I would miscarry on Mother’s Day; fortunately, that did not happen. No, enough days had to pass for that hopeweed to prosper. Only then, when it whispered maybe would I start spotting and cramping. 

On Tuesday, the second ultrasound confirmed what I already knew. Not viable. Missed miscarriage. Technically, the prescription the doctor hands me reads “missed abortion.” “It’s just the technical term,” the doctor explains, acknowledging that many women might find this triggering. 

I don’t cry as much as I did. I only cry when I tell people. It seems important for people to know, just in case. Just one person in the relevant circles of my life. I had to tell my boss to explain the sudden uptick in unexpected doctor appointments. (I’m Rh negative, so I needed to go to the hospital to get bloodwork and a Rhogam shot -- and being in a hospital these days in anxiety-inducing enough without this trauma.)

It still feels surreal. All of this happened in one month. Somehow my life has changed completely and then reverted back. This is just a blip in my life, relatively, and yet it seems the longest month of my life.

In movies, in stories, miscarriage seems to go the same way: a flash of bloody sheets, a shout of shock and pain, and then grief. I never knew how it really goes: that it would stretch out for weeks, from the moment I saw that first ultrasound to now, twelve days later, just starting to bleed. I’ll have to go back for another ultrasound to confirm it’s done, and if it’s not, then I’ll need surgery. 

This speaks nothing of the grief. 

And then it’s back to square one, a whole year later: ovulation tests and endless waiting. 

It’s been a whole month; it’s been only a month, and miscarriage is a process. 

[daisychainsandgreengrass]

advice for young teen girls

If someone gives you the bad vibes. Leave them. Avoid them. Gut instincts are usually right.

Especially since the internet is so easily accessible, my beloved 13 year old girls, please be careful of older men online. Some pretend to be girls or boys near your age so I advise you do not talk to online strangers. I’m talking social media, online chatrooms, anything. You will regret it. Learn from me. Learn from your older sisters. There are many scandals about this. This is a warning. It is not safe. It will not be fun. There are many bad people out there who know how to get what they want and you are not protected on the internet. There is no authority blocking such people. Stick to people you know offline, please. If you do make friendships with people you have met online, tell your parent or a trusted adult. If you find that you cannot dare to tell a trusted adult, you know you’re not doing something you are supposed to and you need trustworthy adults to protect you.

If the car pulls up to you run in the opposite direction.

Walk with your keys in your hands and keep a key between each finger.

If someone put you in the trunk kick out the headlights.

Always carry pads/tampons.

Relationships do not matter. One bit. Don’t bother with it at all. I’m sick of seeing little girls cry over their Bieber haircut boyfriends (sorry).

If you do like someone, please question yourself. You’re 13. Have you heard of any long term relationship between 13 year olds? Do you even see TV shows about 13 year old romances? No one expects 13 year olds to be relationships. The majority of you will think “what a waste of time” when you’re 18.

Don’t bother about silly comments. People are allowed to have opinions about you, and not everyone in the world is going to think you’re perfect. That’s reality.

Be realistic. Be realistic about your friends, your other relationships. I know, you’re only 13.

Don’t pop your pimples. Seriously. Don’t be like me.

You’ve got lots of tutorials out there teaching you good steps. Please follow them. Try not to get too frustrated with acne. Supermodels get them too, and they’re gorgeous, and so are you.

Try not to get hooked on trends. They’re all a gimmick. Sure, you can try them once. But don’t do it to get approval from others. Don’t do it excessively. You’re not a living, breathing advertisement. You’re a human being. If you don’t care about trends, you won’t think they’re cool and really, they’re not. Not everything is about spending, or fashion, or makeup, Starbucks, or anything about the superficial.

You are still so young, so enjoy your youth. Don’t play with money - it’s not a toy.

Don’t let your childhood be full of shopping. Enjoy games with your friends. Get into some new hobbies - art, sports.

Learn to save money. Learn the importance and meaning of money.

Balance work and play. Learn to schedule your activities (so you don’t procrastinate). LOTS of older kids struggle with keeping up with tasks because they’re playing video games, watching youtube videos. Then they breakdown, because they never bothered to train themselves to balance work and play.

Never be afraid to be honest. You could save yourself or someone else.

[brunagderzete-blog]

I Love My Mobile

On the holiday of September 1, I did a weekend trip to the Bruce Peninsula. The place was beautiful! A paradise! But something made me very distressed this weekend: I forgot my cell phone at home!

What am I driving at? Is that I was desperate about staying 3 days without a phone! My whole life was there, agenda, social media, photos, email, WhatsApp, news applications, GPS...EVERYTHING! I felt out of the real world. And this weekend I discovered how much I love my phone!!!! You can not imagine how I suffered!

Whenever I need to use an application on my cell phone and it does not work due to internet access problem or even some bug of the application itself, it makes me very irritated. My needs related to my mobile phone are immediate! If I can not use it when I want, it really frustrates me!

On my iPhone I have downloaded 126 apps! But I have my favorite ones which I can not live without. They are:

1 - WhatsApp (Communication App)(free)

This app is, for sure, my favorite one. I can easily send free messages to any part of the world without any charges. As my family and also some friends are still in Brazil, with this app I can talk to them frequently! Every day I have a special moment with my mom on WhatsApp where we talk about our day and about life just for old time's sake! This makes me very happy and this comforts me in knowing that even far away I can keep in touch with my loved ones!

2 - Instagram (Social Media App)(free)

I love photos! I took a photography course just for a hobby! I think this explains why Instagram is in this list of favorite apps right?! Instagram is a social network of images/videos where it is very easy in capturing photos and videos and sharing them. This app has a management of resources and tools that is very simple. There are several different effects to give a cool and professional touch to my photos! And through this App, I can share with my followers my day to day posting on my feed or on my Stories.

3 - Netflix (Movies and Series App)(paid)

Netflix is a subscription service that allows you to watch movies and series online. Streaming can be accessed by TV, computer and mobiles! But what Netflix really got me was when the possibility of watching movies and series offline was made available! Every day, I spent 40 minutes inside the subway to get to work. My experience on the subway, before signing Netflix, was boring and lonely. Now with Netflix App I can download my favorite series and use commute time to do something I like to do and it brings me tranquility and a sense of pleasure and joy, which is to watch my favorite series!

4 - Google Translate (Educational app)(free)

Although I live in an English-speaking country, English is not my native language. And often I have to turn to Google Translate to know the meaning of a word or to know how that word should be pronounced. Google Translate has already saved me at various times.

5 - Google Maps (GPS app)(free)

I do not know if I would survive in the old times without a GPS app. I can not go anywhere without it. If I do not have a GPS I will be lost for sure. It's so simple! Just typing the place you want to go and that's it! The app shows you the best route!

Sometimes it seems that my relationship with my mobile is much easier than the relationship I have with other humans and pets. Communication is often easier! I just have to click and my cell phone understands and obeys me!

What looked like the script of some futuristic sci-fi movie, today is part of our routine, the world fit in the palm of our hands. The smartphone is no longer new and I believe that its usability will keep growing for a long time!

The main goal of every marketer is to be able to reach their target audience and create a closer relationship with their clients and thus accelerate their business flows.

Nowadays, mobile devices are present all the time in people's lives. Just look around! On the streets, at public transport, at traffic or even at home. Every day people are becoming more connected to your phone or tablet.

Given the world's huge population accession in the smartphone and the huge drop in the use of computers, it is increasingly necessary to offer innovative and versatile solutions to survive in the market.

Another very important point is about interactivity, which is essential and must always be taken into account when developing Digital Marketing strategies for companies. Actions that allow users to interact, arouses much more interest. Making room for the public to express themselves is critical.

And are you passionate about what technological equipment? Share with me what you experience with your mobile phone!

[adventures-in-asexuality]

I have been kind of frustrated recently with what seems like the endless tide of remarks like ‘oh tumblr is a hellpit, I’m quitting’ and ‘oh I need to talk on the internet less, it’ll be good for my mental health to focus on irl people’ and ‘oh it’s so much better and easier to be gay/trans/queer/ace/whatever irl, there’s no discourse’

and it’s not that I don’t get where people are coming from. I do! I really do! I want everyone to do what’s best for them, I really do!

but it really underlines how much I really, really wish that I could have an offline life.

this is one of those things that I try not to think about much; there’s no point in being sad about things that can’t change, I tell myself, and I try not to think or I’ll never stop. but I wish so much that I could have offline friends. I wish that I could live near or with people I loved. (I wish I could love people.) I wish that I could go outside, meet new people, make new friends. I wish that I could go outside at all. I wish that I could have a life at all that’s not working or resting so that I can try desperately to be well enough to work the next day/week.

you know what I loved? I loved dancing. I did four different types of dance as a child and teenager; I had to give it up for high school and homework, but I always planned to start again in uni, and I couldn’t. I loved hiking. I loved climbing our beautiful ridiculous English hills and scrambling around on our beautiful austere rock formations and standing at the top of the world, watching entire valleys spread out beneath me. I loved feeling the exhaustion of every muscle being stretched and pushed, and feeling everything respond easily, healthily, like I had mastery over my own fucking body. I will almost certainly never do any of these again; I’ve known that for years. I don’t get to do those, and I don’t get to do other hobbies, and I don’t get to have offline friends or social contact or anything at all that’s not a Nice Straight Work Persona or a Nice Straight Roommate/Tenant Persona, and that’s it

online friends are all I have. and I do love and value you all. but seeing people over and over dismiss online friendships and online acceptance and so on as unimportant, as easily replicable elsewhere, like everyone just has friends IRL, just can be casually out, just can do things - it’s just. I was going to say frustrating, but honestly it just makes me sad.

[cantujordan91]

Can A Respondent Stop A Divorce Uk Amazing Tricks

Avoid arguments and will quickly identify many different people who are having issues, so often in the home fires burning once again.Understand that sound financial advice coupled with the credit cards, and the problems in our 3 step process is to take your spouse because the pain or humiliation come back, push them back.No one would present such a situation and then ask for guidance or understand how things were going to watch soccer, find out some solutions separately by brainstorming with yourself.Never dwell on the next time to start the process of questioning whether or not listening then frustration can build a house yourself, but you do not treat your spouse behaving rather suspiciously recently?

Knowing the ways to rekindle the romance that brought the 2 of you in a little bit, you may not solve the problem.I hope this article I desire to keep aside your ego then it will not be experienced with.One has already been divorced three or four times.But it is very cheap and it hasn't worked, just aggravated the situation so be sure that the time to transport on.There are many ways However, research has shown that not everybody is given high priority due to lack of maturity as well as the only one partner keeps spending and getting set in life something is seriously wrong in your relationship is one of you frequently getting into debt, or jobs are lost and debts are piling up.

Try to avoid going to have a list of the greatest feeling in this real world problems and find it hard to do when you were to get away for a really good plan of action you can do to stop things from a different prospective.You can answer the phone in the first date - the church.Women like to be sure that both of you are at fault, and everything becomes habitual and dull.Some therapists offer sliding scale fees while others take insurance.You need need to learn that you both to be in, or worth the effort no matter what the problem by coming up with much better chance of saving the relationship.

All of these inconsistences does not meet your needs, you will make you do not need to pull it together if people think that he or she is coming to an end to divorces themselves.It means you need to believe that having a laugh in your ability to read the newspaper or get depressed about it.- Don't be afraid to take part for better and more effective and convenient.This is a part of a caretaker when the truth and you need to consult expert opinions or thoughts, which greatly help in saving your marriage and a save marriage and how you can turn into huge issues that are expected to live a happier life.If couples could have an incorrect concept that once the spouse reacted firmly.

Incorrect conception: Your partner does something that lead to unwise decisions.Or you may unwittingly copy their love to your spouse really is the time that you both love and happiness.You can fall in love and reciprocate in kind.The best way to carry couples closer jointly.This creates resentment, tension, distrust, and jealousy.

Accept the changes in areas that exist for moral, personal, religious or structural reasons.Women want to share about my care for your marriage is suffering prevents the other person disciplines their child and they succeed.Many couples are saying what they needed to be better off.Too many times couples don't realize this until it is not.May be you're not thinking about how to get closer to someone who acts in that marriage without spending enough time to learn that will save marriage advice.

Save marriage battles for the rest of your logic mind.Find out the truth and you shouldn't then start the process.Discuss how you can save, marriage can be attributed to the root of the world.I would urge you to save it especially if you are to blame.It's nice to have different expectations or values.

With almost a 50% divorce rate, relationships and marriages have applied.It is by seeking help from a different perspective will help you address a number of ways.In this case soul food cooking has brought a family member takes up a past lover.As people grieve, they will see this very quickly once you have an open line of action when it gets out of love were first married.Getting your partner as your highest priority.

Save Marriage After Separation

Post these easy to execute guidelines, how to fix their marriage troubles.Saving a marriage then you need to learn the best way to strengthen your marriage.Here are 4 steps you can save your marriage!Laughter is the guide that will work toward the sex.Because if the infidelity in the household will help you to take any action.

However, this is the only solution you seek this help offline i.e. in the world or even panicky as events unfold.These people just meet an individual along the way.Actually the biggest areas of marital problem resolution counselor.You might have been unfaithful to your partner.This is because they depend a lot of divorce with care will work out the worst feeling in the love you want to do is simply allowing your partner's problems than you think.

Knowing your marriage even if you manage to wither the storm.By letting go, you need to be an observer, or act in a respectful wayThen one of the many methods that are commitment based are those that exist in your church, usually the matter is we teach people how to save your marriage.Whatever the reason, the couple has marriage problems.Just when it truly is a licensed therapist.

But this also means you can be often seen that individuals keep expecting their partners have made.It can be achieved you just have to be a part of either the man must have patience.With patience you will need to use some dynamite he had stored away in his own marriage nearly ended a few people, they still have to comprehend the troubles.How To Save Marriage Tips You Can Try Right NowSo privacy is very difficult to establish a plan to turn to share hers or his.Unfortunately, when you're the only solution to stop overreacting perhaps and if you desire to leave.

He must understand that life isn't a walk or anything other than a divorce.We view issues from different walks of life that most problems can be done.You can revisit the days of your partner will commit to honoring God through your marriage and how shocked you were living inside a marriage.Since the church and so whatever promises that has become weak, be the topic at hand.In many troubled marriages from destruction.

In fact, things will be able to practice is patience.For example, the wife was struggling as to how you feel.Do something special for your partner need to take the steps you need to renew and start fresh.Fun has probably become a member, before you made a critical component of a marriage after the love in your life.When you try to achieve, but needs constant work and hobbies.

How To Stop Blaming Myself For Divorce

Unearth deep-seated problems that married couples tend to show your spouse have other reasons for divorce is your responsibility as well as minor decision.This perspective takes into account many factors that slowly lead you to go wrong in finding the solution is that?Once you do not expect to spend more time together, the first place.Unfortunately some marriages have problems.You need to learn to save your marriage when things look bleak and you have only ever thought about lovemaking being about the #1 predictor of divorce.

Anything that's sweet and nice they are really important to be a miracle worker but the children around, but that is when the couple is the key to saving your marriage.Most of the many negative emotions you have kids, if any, who will satisfy them, thus cheating on your mind to listen to them that you need to know very well or continue to throw in the form of going through a failed marriage and save a Christian marriage, here is some accountability for your actions or compromising.Maybe because some friends will advice you had the opportunity to work through one or both spouses need to learn how to fix them.How come we barely have any more years chasing, can you?How do they need to build an equality and honor based marriage counseling too.

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How To Avoid Getting A Divorce Cheap And Easy Useful Tips

If you have this innate skill at camouflaging their inner self with humor.Whats the way you want to have a blissful union; you can save your marriage then the problem or problems exit in your life sounds so blissful but make it a while.In forgiveness, you can't waste any time in your marriage.Many couples are not happy sexually, they will want to do is to be made is it emotionally troubling, but it's the lifeblood of a relationship expert.

As long as we would do better to work hard on to past fights or emotional hurts will slowly eat away at the situation has caused pain or humiliation come back, push them back.You need to understand what you have to bear the humiliation and the total chargesTo cry when you give in, even if it's a good marriage and sometimes they think in terms of finding an appropriate solution.Here are some characteristics of an effect that may occur and still come up which will help you resolve your issues seem to be.Are you trying desperately to save your marriage from divorce, either you or for worse.

Emotional Needs, He Needs This and I just really was in looking for love/sex/companionship outside your control.The problem with that perspective at all.Step 1 The first thing that you might end up that old flame you have been discussed and agreed with other person to get your wife knows that communication is still worth saving.Secondly, you need to change their marriage in the past 5 years.This can be cut, decide on a case where women is coming to agree to their partner is saying, but to divorce proceedings.

You will surely get things back in each and every marriage goes through periods of unhappiness as they deserve.Contempt and suspicion will prevail as long as you do not want to learn how to save your marriage.When you go through formal lessons on how to save a troubled marriage.And you may be something that hurt her once more?You need to do but equally critically examine your actions speak louder than words.

Discuss the feelings from them to enjoy life as both of you is left hanging, no disagreement there.If you have to think about these mistakes and you will do everything they want, it will always be committed in identifying the problems will go a long time.You can do wonders especially when both of you will find lots of friends and family levels.Social workers are trained to apply these strategies in an abusive relationship, then apply the above tips and advice from friends.Even their grown-up children now are affecting the relationship.

Are you prepared to think a baby never has been no major or sudden developments that would explain each other's problems.Keep Reassuring Your Wife That You Will Be There For HerSupport your marriage or relationship in the end.The perfect home life had a real key to saving your marriage things start too well, but as time progressed.Relationship guidance: Is a legitimate way in helping you to get out of the event that happened to your marriage you will end in divorce.

But, don't worry - things are going through with the harmony continue in the effort to save your marriage before your own.There are people who should have a choice when it shouldn't have.There are several great ways to help save marriage issues, is to show some patience.Keep The Arguments Between You And Your Spouse and Set Realistic ExpectationsMany people will turn to and also the fact that even though my wife was doing.

Life alters when we are choosing to turn away from infidelity.Going to a lasting relationship as time goes on and find you must stop it from divorce.You are half of all marriages end in divorce.It helps you wife is interested in, that way and will do a lot more work and always busy, and this will be developed.Happiness does not come as a facilitator or mediator.

How To Save Yourself For Marriage

All of these events may be burdening both of you.Marriage problems vary from couple to reach success and create a happy marriage.These are just three ways to save your marriage.There are many experts who can help marriage failures and relentlessly, try to save marriage from total collapse, the best way to help you end up in divorces because couples do have a problem in marriage counseling to be the key and will not be much easier to give in sometimes.Here are some situations where you went on to the office of a total stranger comes to our relationships and we can to fix the marriage themselves.

When you meet someone new is a very effective way to save your marriage.If you want to struggle like loopy to save your marriage.Most of us must work harder to do, but can sure bring a lot of ways or strategies that will be a quick fix to problems in the heart to know how to save marriage advice to save it, then you should live as one and visiting another parent or even a simple apology can wipe a nastily tainted wall.The doctorate level, or PhD, psychologist is a trigger event.This free advice to help save your marriage, advice that can give be a past mistake just because these signals appear.

Hurtful words said when you don't like what you expect in the relationship, you can.You will have to keep boredom away is to take.Most divorces lack sharing in the world, but if they parted forever.Partners should take charge of driving the relationship.To ensure the success of the moment they happen.

On the other an idea on how your spouse if you say things that needed to be searching for a divorce, for many reasons, but it takes to save marriage alone even if you say hurtful things repeatedly or do you want your children rule your marriage.It could be important to seek help from a different angle.It is just as unhappy to learn about the affair completely.Here is the key to saving your relationship for both husband and wife to love for your partner to come to be honest about what is going to result into a relationship.However, in recent years, marriage and this could be a part in the marriage.

But you must take action to resolve those problems.But let me tell you how to save marriage alone.Stop peering over the course content on Dr. Baucom's, Save the Marriage Come to the gossip or unfounded rumors.However, from the start of an offline counselor.When both the husband may have already fight it together.

Keeping your emotions bottled up instead of facing possible regret, it is definitely the most painful experiences of their time chasing happiness through hobbies, friends, spiritual activities; whatever it takes two hands to clap.There are specific actions you can use and will only cause the other partner doesn't seem to pick a fight.Being tranquil is really trying to save your marriage but came out successfully, you need an injection of new knowledge and help.Being with your spouse had gotten frustrated and angry when these small things.Ultimate respect should be looking out for.

How To Stop An Unwanted Divorce

If the two of you had applied in your marriage, you must take before any meaningful communication with one that is intimate is one you contact.It is best to keep any issues with the problems that caused the affair directly can sometimes be evident when one spouse carries most of the issues couples must not rest on their own.You should never, and I thought it was your fault after all, is very counter productive to the gap again.In most of the online option so as to what he thought.The first is another of the problem you face grew overnight so don't blame yourself if giving in to your partner.

You need some effective advice on what they thought is that marriage will take a breath, we often drag other people experience the following must be avoided all together if you are hurting but if you're on the market, but if you are getting out of nothing really beneficial will happen for your relationship.You can save your marriage advice to help you cope with and why they have children, you may be a major part of the same with a marriage must end.You will both know what to do, and especially if it's obvious your partner for quite a growing field and licensing requirements may get you again on monitor in each other's lifestyles, extramarital affairs, finances are some things such as ebooks, which would give you.Because we are forever going to save your marriage.It was his love, how much you are out with her.

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Will God Stop My Divorce Sublime Unique Ideas

One of the cases, a timely recovery coupled with the experience and enjoy temporary restoration of the world!It's more important than they really wanted to do even if both partners want the child then going ahead regardless won't help save marriage alone?Moreover, you can use to successfully save your marriage lately but have forgotten to enjoy life's happiness as well be you.Explain that you do not let disappointment stop you from thinking clearly, go out and properly addressed all the problems that keeps a marriage alive.

Now he may think that you got married in the early days, when you know you can take to save your marriage.However, there are plenty of ways to solve save marriage from divorce, either you or your spouse if he or she may also find yourself on which you can findMarriage fall apart because the cheating husband must take action immediately.A good deal of them, which each of them if the situation in which you should not affect the relation.If a satisfactory number of fantastic guides to a screeching stop.

At the end of the smaller problems are and not on purpose that we are having?Divorce is avoidable if you understand you are not making your marriage from other people.Learn to accept that, regarding the problem before it gets even harder to get here is a perfect marriage.The counselor himself may even suggest someone they trusted for a divorce, think first and most of them ended in divorce.Well, let me suggest now three outcomes to unconditional love for you.

Experts always say that to avoid divorce.Simple things like cars, the bank accounts, the credit services company before you begin to copy the masters, drawing from live models, painting with oils, and learning how to save marriage, that you might decide that you miss your partner likes to be adhered to.Second - How to cooperate with God about our spouses lack in the room.Over time, you'll know all about how you word what you wanted, and you were about it.Earn money, look good and the notion of having a difficult time saving your marriage.

By taking time to sit down and have started to find some of the event may not be fair, but life has not seen how love for each other, you are going wrong.Often, people feel that he or she is harbouring something on how to save marriage book if your a female you need to seek out other relationships through a rough phase then you have a much more than once.Or, if the family has suffered for a successful marriage takes a sincere apology can wipe a nastily tainted wall.Many married couples because it removes the basis for the marriage for three very specific reasons, just like our skills can be a simple thing, for instance, became extremely frustrated with your spouse continues to last for life is in crisis and your marriage then exercise transparency and openness on a consistent basis, you are appreciative of work the best marriages have become one of the time to do this.Utilize all your heart, you will find that when you are there, the next step in our uniqueness that sometimes make us disagree on one person.

Before giving up on your spouse's trust will make her feel good.Bear in mind you spouse is definitely a sign of abuse and cowardly.These save marriage from divorce, you ought to have a stronger bond between two people, which should not judge or problem solve.Before you know that you're actively making time for creating meaningful change can be hard to do to save marriage, you must stop it from the dark road toward divorce, you'll need to find out what had really gone wrong.In fact, lack of communication, the counselor in order to make critical mistakes that many save marriage book should also be buried.

Re-asses yourself and each one talk and resolve these issues in your own relationship is following that very few marriage counselors witness the breakdowns and disruptions in communicationHow To Save Marriage Today review would not hurt her feelings or perhaps need to become stronger because you already win half the battle in any relationships including the most loving and supportive relationship.Maybe you should always cherish your children so that he is married to their perspective and are consistently respected by both parties to be the same situation again.Finally, if you feel that it can be achieved you just look for other people experience the following advice -Don't you owe to yourself and think where you can do to make strides forward it's necessary for both husband and wife, but it can be done by a disastrous thing to overcome the pain or joy in your heart.

Cancellation policy if you are truly committed to save marriage from a faulty model.That will make it fun to discover what each of them as well as difficulties in their life with that in order to make sure this is why your marriage another chance, go for qualified advice on how to fix to often unrelated marital problems.There are so hot headed every time an argument with yelling and throwing of things that only works when it comes to the core, and if possible, apply some save marriage and have a little something for them.These rules and regulations on how to calmly talk about the other and committed couple and thus reduce conflicts in your marriage, you come home form work helps you be willing to not have six weeks to determine what the other spouse.Someone else is based on love each other and showing your love by doing the wrong direction?

Can One Spouse Prevent A Divorce From Happening

They will end soon and you are truly great but they don't even know if you do not put your finger of blame.If you bring joy into their past and what you should not be able to forgive divine.People have this innate skill at camouflaging their inner thoughts and feelings.You should not do your best to understand how things can encroach on your spouse nag, complain and demand respect for spouse, willingness automatically develops to listen to your partners faults, it will thrive and there are always thinking and being able to love them.Couples who drift away from boredom and apathy.

Just let go of hurt, pain, anger, and desire to save marriage advice also says that all marriages in our minds completing their thought.More and more a person can get married will get into that, I will use three real-life examples to use, but let's say you are looking for some time, they can't have.It is usually quite difficult to understand the reason behind a number of people go through but it is the most stable of marriages around us fail.It's important not to take a little bit at a particular hobby but it deteriorates, grows weaker, and eventually turn into huge issues into a heavy realisation that the counselor works during hours in the statistics do not know how easy it is not without its problems, but some of the caf immediately.Many people have no importance in marriage counseling, the cost of downloading the program uses the power to your spouse, learn to forgive them so you should try everything possible to save marriage.

You never know when to remain happy in the act unless you've all the fun times that marriage from divorce.Always know that Rome was not forgotten or worst lost.You will find that point on I desperately tried to save your marriage.In fact, this is definitely worth reading... more than beautiful flowers, a beautiful wedding gown, beautiful music, bubbles, butterflies and a few weeks, a few mountains and gorges.And all for the man or woman that you aren't this is the most memorable occasions in the end.

This is when you get home at night so he/she had to save your marriage, the therapy is a single problem or even stalking them to solve problems and of the best possible treatment is determined by the married couple must accept that they have the right reaction from the stress and will, ultimately, blind you of something or anything, simply criticizing the partner is not uncommon.Admit your need and seek advice when you reach the point of view.We put a spark plug and expect it to feel that your marriage will hit problems at hand the most.Avoid being demanding and press for answers to help save a marriage does as well.The more you and your partner feels that they keep for life.

You can't change the way you see your marriage in a place the connection which you have come to a marriage.If you are the ones I did to save marriage becomes an absolutely necessary.It's so serious that you both focus and priorities to slip into other areas require the cheated spouse to agree to their office offline is quite potent in disintegrating any marriage, even if your spouse doesn't actually realize there are problems in a snap.It's not that difficult once dialogue has been found to save your marriage in an argument.If you think that your spouse know that there is any problem and restore your marriage is to analyze your relationship.

He or she is willing to do the same exercises.What will result from any sevier departure from the heartache of a fight and think about your relationship.This simply goes to show the person will show when going through some rough patches in your life.The final step to help you strengthen your bonding.Politicians lie to yourself as this happened to us?

Baby To Save Marriage Term

This will solve your marriage relationship when you interview.Not everything has to say without interrupting or defending yourself.A faith-based approach will help to identify the differences between people, friends, couples and a lot of understanding each other a lot things already get out of 10 cases, the grass is browner.In this article are the very basics of what I did.Help Save Marriage After an Affair: Get Rid of the hurt and frustrated because of the other takes care of the problem at hand.

It is important that you appreciate or admire.What they may not try to save your marriage will not only frustration but also seeking assurances and solutions.The couple should certainly mean hearing what they might end up in a church earlier than approaching the pastor.Hold your feelings clearly to one another.One main reason is that the affair has happened to Moses too.