#i need him level 90 asap </3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

herstoryherlegacy · 3 years

Text

Expect the unexpected

(Trigger warning - lots of throw ups)

This has never really been my motto. Most things in my life have been expected or I’ve had signs pointed out to me that gives me a hint of what lies ahead. I was not expecting to be in the ER tonight. Actually I was just about to put my makeup on and do a lovely couples photoshoot with my husband when I got the call to come to the ER for possible blood clot in my lungs. Let me back up..

I had been healing from my port placement 3 days ago. Yesterday I was texting Juan updates on how I was feeling. I’m extremely thankful he was so diligent on checking in on me. My main concern was the tightness in my chest, pressure where the port is. I couldn’t take a deep breath. I felt better resting. I had even been doing light housework to stay up and active. Today he checked in again. The chest pressure was better. I could actually take a deep breath with little to no problem. Fast forward to this afternoon. I had went down to my best friend Sam’s salon to get my hair styled for my photoshoot. She’s on the 2nd floor and we took the stairs. My favorite part. I hadn’t exercised since my diagnosis and it’s been killing me. I was so active. Upon reaching the 2nd floor which was not far, I was winded. I text Juan letting him know, and he didn’t respond right away. I sat down, caught my breath, and got my hair done. As soon as I parked at home Juan called. He was consulting his doctor and advised I go in ASAP to an urgent care to be seen. I needed an x-ray, EKG, oxygen levels checked to rule out a possible blood clot in the lungs. Fuck me..

Disappointed to say the least. I walked into my home filled with laughter from my girls and their cousins, everyone gathered at the table for a meal, my in laws were visiting. All I could say was, we have to go to urgent care. I didn’t even kiss my babies goodbye 😕 I said goodbye to them but not thinking I wouldn’t be back tonight didn’t cross my mind. Now I wish I had. I arrived at a local urgent care before closing and the first thing I noticed in the lobby were vases of fake sunflowers. By pure coincidence, I use a sunflower background when I update my stories about my disease. I immediately knew this was God’s way of telling me he was with me and that I would be okay. I went into a room to be evaluated, and guess what kind of shoes the nurse was wearing? I’d never seen these before, but white vans with yellow sunflowers all over. There are no coincidences! However I wasn’t helped and was told to go to the ER.

No one likes to be in the ER, especially not right now. I had labs drawn, and an x-ray which showed proper placement of the port. Luckily Juan was here working and able to be there for my x-ray. He came to see me once more before he left to tell me he was going to communicate with the doctor about my CT and insulin complications. I had mentioned I was waiting for my husband to bring my charger because I was basically on E, and he graciously went to retrieve his charger to give to me. So extremely thankful for that gesture because alone, with no connection to my family in this place, is NOT the business. A charged phone is a precious lifeline so please always keep yours charged! So now..I wait for the CT.

I had been moved all over that ER. First I came to a bed and talked with a nurse. Then another nurse came in demanding she needed the bed. Once I was done I was booted off that bed so fast and into a chair in a hallway. The place was littered with sick people inside and outside rooms. It was so sad and crowded. I do believe I was mixed with both normal sick people and possible covid patients. To say I was nervous is an understatement. Back and forth I went between rooms, chairs, main waiting room, and scans. The longest wait was waiting to have my CT scan. I was in a room with chemo type reclining chairs. This poor girl in front of me was dealing with pain, bad. I felt so sorry for her. She was doing a good job being quiet but her face and body language looked like she was in active labor, though she was not. After watching I assumed she was suffering some sort of abdominal pain. When it was just us two, I didn’t want to make her talk, but I told her that I didn’t know what she was going through but that I was going to cover her in prayer. Her eyes lit up. She said thank you a bunch and I just assured her that I had her taken care of. I prayed with healing words. No matter what situation I’m in, I would never turn down the opportunity to put myself aside and pray for someone else who needed it more. I have failed this test before many times being too shy to pray, but you never know how those simple words of offering someone prayer may help them feel better. I wanted to cry, yeah I was in here for a possible life threatening issue, but I was nowhere as bad off as these people.

So I prayed for her, and eventually it was my turn to go to my CT. I had an IV put in, flushed, and had 3 medications to help me with my scan. One was Benadryl. I was actually glad to have it because I’ll be receiving it in my Pre-chemo cocktail and I wasn’t sure how I would feel on it. Yes it made me woozy immediately, but it was tolerable. Almost enjoyable in the correct setting. Waiting again, and was wheeled over by this super nice guy who eased the stress with good conversation. If you’ve ever done an MRI with contrast..it’s a fucking insane feeling. I laid down, the nurse flushed my IV and added the contrast. She loaded me in and waited a few minutes for it to kick in. I was in the machine for another few minutes and immediately when I was done I felt the warm rush. I’ve previously been warned it makes you feel really warm and almost like you’ve pee’d yourself. Thank god they reminded me because the warm sensation is explosive. It simultaneously felt like hot water was exploding from both my chest outward and my crotch 😂 indeed I clenched my body in case I did pee, but that’s exactly how it felt!!! So odd. Off to wait again for the results. This is where it for torturous. I am SO thankful for my AirPods and this charger. I have a very sensitive trigger to throwing up. Myself, other people, I can’t handle it. I actually did a good job this last week because both my girls got a virus, and I wasn’t second hand nauseous at all, that’s a victory. But in this ER literally 90% of the patients were vomiting 😑 I cranked those air pods to the max to drown out the sound. Closed my eyes. I don’t want what they got. So I’m in the big chair room again, my poor friend comes back in. Still in pain desperate for relief. Then another person, and another until the whole room was filled with us 5 people. 3/5 with vomiting 😕. Poor baby I prayed for got sick first, she was telling a nurse she was getting sick from the pain itself. Then the girl directly next to me. As she was getting her IV meds she started to get sick. It was a constant rush of nurses trying to get those sick bags in time..bless their quickness. I winced and turned to my left as to avoid being there. There wasn’t anywhere I could go where I wasn’t in the direct line of someone getting sick. I was miserable. Benadryl still kicking, I tried to nap, but had to keep my eyes open waiting for my name to be called. Eventually the time came, I was put in a draw chair outside the big chair room and my doctor read me the good news! I had my IV’s taken out and asked if they wanted me to go back into the big chair room (I don’t want to hog the draw chair in case someone needed it) and he said sure, just as I stood up the first poor girl started wrenching and I said “you know what I’ll stay here” and with a laugh the nurse walked back to their station and printed my discharge papers. I was R E L I E V E D. I was as calm in this situation as I needed to be, panicking and stressing weren’t going to help me. Easier said than done, to just not stress, but knowing how much trauma your body goes through WHEN you stress, it just wasn’t going to work in my favor. I came home famished, ate my dinner at 11:30pm, followed by a bag of popcorn, followed by a small serving of ice cream. Then my blood sugars sky rocketed all night 🙃 eh, not a good thing but I will hopefully have that very taken care of soon. Praise God nothing came out of this, each day has its own surprises, not all good, but also not all bad. The day started well with me sharing that my CT showed no cancer anywhere else in my body. This is EXTREMELY good news, and ended with me in the ER. You just never know how things will play out. So hug your kids, tell them you love them, do something fun. Enjoy the day given, because in a flash it could all be taken away ✌🏻

#cancer #emergency room #sunflowers #godisgood

4 notes · View notes

tar-oh · 4 years

Text

Pick-A -Pile: What will the rest of November be like for you?

Howdy there, folks! Sorry it’s been a while. But here I am! I have 3 new decks, so I wanted to use those. I have the Cosmic Tarot deck, which I’m excited to use because it’s from the 90′s. It’s also based somewhat off of old movie stars, too. It’s one of the most interesting decks I’ve seen just because of the interpretation the artist had on some cards, but I find that they’re fun to read intuitively. I also got the Light Seer’s Tarot from my best friend for my birthday. That one is fun because the artwork is beautiful and it’s got a lot of bright colors. The last is a new oracle deck I got called the Seasons of the Witch: Samhain Oracle, which is based around Halloween/Samhain. t’s very much Halloween/witch themed and has beautiful artwork and poetry on it. I also pulled moonology cards for each pile.

The question I asked for each pile was just what the rest of November will be like for you. I think it’s just better sometimes to let what needs to come through come through, and I have to say that there was a lot of healing and change that came through for each pile.

Here’s the piles to pick from:

So:

Pile 1 is the Opalite

Pile 2 is the Rose Quartz

Pile 3 is the Carnelian

I need to say that this is a general reading. It’s for a bunch of different people, so it’s not specific, nor does it mean it will resonate with you. If it doesn’t, I have a few other readings on my blog that aren’t time-specific and may give you insight. Otherwise, I may not be the reader for you. If you would like to reach out for a personal reading, my DM’s are always open and I will try to answer it ASAP. I recently got a cashapp, so if you’d like to tip (it’s not necessary), it’s $sarams.

SO. THAT BEING SAID ONTO THE READINGS:

Pile 1: Opalite

Cards: strength, 6 of pentacles, the moon, 8 of wands, 5 of cups, page of pentacles, 2 of wands, banshee, new moon in sagittarius

There's one word that keeps showing up with these cards for me, and that's CHANGE. The Banshee warns of you blocking change. New Moon in Sag suggests you might change your mind on something. The strength card in this particular deck suggests the transformation of energy. So, the word for your November is Change and I think these cards are saying that there will be change for you, but how it goes, it's up to you. You're asked to get out there. And by that, I don't necessarily mean going out and about (especially for those that COVID is still around, be safe guys!). I mean whatever that means for you. So for some, you want to put something on the internet. For example, if you're thinking of starting a new blog or even a youtube channel, this spread is telling you to do that. There's a lot of pentacles and wands in this spread. That tells me there's a lot of creativity and abundance within this. I don't always mean material wealth, I mean whatever that could mean to you. This could be a passion project, that you work on for fun. Or it could actually be something you plan on trying to make money from. This pile needs to realize their own power. The fact that the lady in the strength card is holding a tapestry with a lion on it furthers this idea for me. Lions in historical terms have always symbolized strength. I'm reading this as if she had the tapestry covering her whole body up, but she appears to be moving it away. I'm also assuming she's naked behind it, too, so it's like, stripping away a mask you might have had on. This idea that you were toning yourself down for everyone else, but now you're letting that fall away. You're being you, and unapologetically so. You have a lot to share and a lot to give, and you're a little hesitant about this. Perhaps, in the past, you had things not go the way you wanted when you put yourself out there. But, this is telling you to forget that. A lot of you are changing or going through changes, whether it be inside or how things external to you. But, you're also denying these changes? Like, okay right now Make Way by the Front Bottoms is playing, and he sings "I make way for the expensive things in my head." You have dreams, but these dreams cannot come into actualization until you make room. The Banshee card can read as a warning, and I'll get to that later. In order for new things to come in, there needs to be room. This Banshee card hints that you're not allowing there to be room.

As I was writing that I started to think about the 4 of pentacles from the Rider-Waite deck. On the card, he guy's hoarding the pentacle and the chest underneath him full of who knows what (knowledge? love? money?) but that card isn't present. But, my eyes were drawn to the 5 of cups where she's looking down into the hole that the cups are spilling into. It almost looks like a bit of her soul is spilling into it too. I read that as someone who poured a lot of effort into those cups, a lot of their soul too. But, in the end, it was all for naught. At least, that's how they see it. So they dump out all those cups and their soul goes with them. But, that's not what I mean by making room. In this card, she's so focused on what's lost, rather than what could come in. Behind her, there's this path and wide-open space, and the stars are out. It's so beautiful but her backs to it. You need to be able to turn around and run into that unknown. The moon definitely supports that idea to me, also this 8 of wands. The moon in this reading, to me, is you embracing the unknown. Like, walking into the future despite it not having certainty yet. As unsure as you are about what tomorrow, next week, or even next year holds, you need to be able to crawl out of that pond like that lobster. He's kind of jumping out of that pond at the moon like "HERE I AM!" I also see him as reaching towards the moon that's made up of two fishes. So, almost like he's grabbing at them like a prize. So, I want to be cheesy and say REACH FOR THE SKY! And, I don't know. Perhaps a bit of corniness is needed in this moment for you? 8 of wands also gave me that feeling too. It's an image of a man jumping through the air with those 8 wands and he looks ABSOLUTELY THRILLED. These cards are telling you to be excited because when you reach out, good things reach for you if that makes sense. Page of Pentacles and 2 of wands show me that there's something you are or will be working on that you want to share. These also tell me it's something that you need to be practical about sharing. Like, the way you go about it. It's a bit like you need to make sure that when you jump through the air with those wands, you're calculating where you land. So, it's telling you to jump, but not to be The Fool about it. Don't jump without looking. But also, not to sit still like that girl in the 2 of wands. She's looking out the window wishing when she could be going. The 6 of pentacles tells me that whatever you share is going to be valuable. Usually, this card is about give and take. Or, about being compassionate and empathetic. Having what you need and sharing it too. It could also mean someone is helping you out. But, today I'm seeing this as you having something that would be valuable to others. So, maybe you want to make a fitness vlog or you have a large knowledge about rocks or something and you want to write blog posts about them. And, this specific version of the 6 of pentacles is that this man is standing under a crescent moon. It looks to me like it was recently a new moon, and I kind of see those pentacles as other phases of the moon. So, to me, it's like you manifesting. The act of placing an intention on what you want to do or achieve between the new and full moons. Like, this man is under this newer moon and he is manifesting what he wants. He's also excited about what's to come despite it being unknown. Those 8 wands are telling you to DO IT. START IT. You got New Moon in Sagittarius, which has the line "Luck is on your side" written on the card. In the moonology deck, I read this as the equivalence of the Wheel of Fortune tarot card. I mean, it even mentions the wheel in the guidebook. This card is telling you to GO! Do it! You've got luck on your side, but to also stay open-minded. I did mention that the Banshee does serve as a warning. The card's keywords are bad omens and wrath. I don't want this to scare you, rather, I want you to take this and hug it. I'm laughing at myself for that last part, but seriously. This card is, to me, just death reversed. When death is in reverse, you're denying a transformation that needs to happen. Even denying the ending of something. This is telling you that things are changing. They will not, cannot stay the same and that this warns you against denying this. Change can be so beautiful. Like, I mean, think about butterflies and the transformation they go through? You could have that! This change could be physical or mental or in your external world. Either way, if you're able to embrace this change with open arms, you'll find that there's a lot of joy that comes with this. I do have to say that there is the risk of you getting a bit of a big head. I want to tell you to stay level-headed about everything that comes your way. I also have to bring that 5 of cups back up along with the banshee. These suggest this idea that you're focused on mourning an ending, but that you should let it go. A part of me doesn't agree with that completely. There is a certain amount of need to allow these things to fall away and not to mourn forever. But also, if you're still grieving it once those changes come in, that's okay. That whole, making way for the expensive things is something that one needs to do, but there's also this thought I have about making space...to just...allow things to be. Sitting with something. The song Unsaid Emily came on from Julie and the Phantoms. The story it tells is heartbreaking, and I found it fitting. The song is about regrets and wishing you could say something you never got to say. There's a part where he sings "If you could only know, I'd never let you go." This ties in because you can still have that past with you. You don't have to let it go completely, but there's also a point where wallowing in it doesn't help. So, it's like, this banshee/5 of cups combo is both a warning and the act of acceptance. Like, this acceptance that this happened. It's over, and we will have these thoughts on it for a while (they'll probably transform through time). But, they're there, and while we're embracing it we're also taking them and moving forward. It's this act of leaving it behind while simultaneously leaving room for it in your suitcase. All seriousness aside now, I think November is going to be good for you. I don't know if it's going to be super major in any way, but I know that it's going to at least be a stepping stone for the rest of your life. Maybe a lot of little things will happen that will only be worked into your memory years later as things that you can attribute to where you are. I just see joy and creativity in these cards and maybe hesitation, but its that hesitation before you jump and I see that when you land (in that calculated spot), you're going to be okay. And, honestly, I think right now, that's all we want to hear. Right? That we'll be okay? Songs:

Make Way - The Front Bottoms Unsaid Emily - Julie and the Phantoms Soundtrack Makeup - Oberhofer

Pile 2: Rose Quartz

Cards: Queen of Swords, Two of Pentacles, Ace of Cups, Temperance, 4 of Wands, King of Wands, Full Moon Eclipse, Wolf One thing that's coming through strongly is that you need to follow your intuition. In the song Wild Roses by Of Monsters and Men, there are the lyrics "I followed a feeling". Even more, in the song Don't Give Up Your Ghost by Movements, they talk about not letting your demons get the best of you. Not letting those dreams you had go. And so, you follow them and chase that feeling, whatever that means to you. The card Wolf's keywords are instinct and freedom. It's the last card of the Seasons of the Witch deck, and with it comes this sense of completion. The Full Moon Eclipse speaks of conclusions being within reach. These conclusions are doors that have closed. But with these cards, while I see contemplation in some (queen of swords, temperance, even King of Wands), I also see movement. In 4 of Wands, they're dancing. In King of Wands, he does look stationary, but he also looks as if he's going to step forward at any moment. In two of pentacles, he's trying to keep his balance, but it looks like he's also trying to move forward too. So, there's a sense of forward movement, but with it comes this act of never looking back. There's a chance you'll face a decision in November. With the Queen of Swords and Temperance, you're asked to stop for a moment and be logical. To balance out the practicalities and the emotions. But, with it comes a beginning, one that can prove to be very fulfilling to you. There's a chance that this leads to a celebration, as well. Either way, you're asked to weigh the options while also keeping in mind that whatever you're leaving behind stays behind you. The last pile was also about moving forward and change. But, it was also a gentle reminder to hold your values and memories close to your heart. Whereas, with this pile, you need to hold those values and memories, but not as closely. At a distance where you can see them to keep perspective, but far enough away that they're not pulling you back to that door. And, by the way, that door will be locked. I don't know what this could be that you can't go back on. I mean, I guess it's like something that you just can't relive. Maybe it's that thing where nothing's ever the same again. Either way, it's like this spread is begging you to move forward. Ah! The song that came on is Kill My Time by 5 seconds of summer. There's a line, "Why don't you just say goodbye now. It's only a matter of time," which goes perfectly with what I just said. It's like, whatever is reaching it's conclusion. It's as if you've ridden that wave and you're at the end of it. You've run out of a wave to ride, so it's time to find another. On the wolf card, it says "Run wildy into the freedom of your knowing", so 1. definitely feeling the moon card here. But also 2. you're released from whatever is concluding. Also, the moon, it's about mysteries and the unknown and in the last pile they got it and it was telling them to jump into the unknown. I see that you guys are asked to jump into the unknown as well. Though something tells me that you guys have a bit more of an idea of what's going on. The queen of swords looks like she knows and that wolf howling at the moon knows something too. There's this feeling of the unknown but also knowing the unknown here. But, then with this unknown/decision you might have to make, you're reminded to keep balanced. In the temperance card, he's holding the moon in one hand and the sun in another. So, it's like night and day. I think that's suggesting this need for a schedule. Like, maybe a set bedtime? You guys could possibly be more of the night owl type. I guess, in that case, it's just a reminder to get an adequate amount of sleep. So, still setting a set time for sleep and a set time for waking up. Also, it's telling you to take care of yourself overall. The two of pentacles also brings that idea of balance because I mean, this card is about keeping up with everything. It's like, having two things and being able to balance them. Some of the versions of this make it seem like it's time to focus on one and stop trying to do both. In this deck, because the act of balancing is actually his body trying not to fall in the water, I see that this balance of keeping up different things at once is essential. So, say you're in school but you're also working. You're asked to keep up the hard work in both your school work and work-work, while also taking care of yourself. Assuring that you don't fall into the water. On the 2 of pentacles here, the pentacles are on his shirt. He already has these pentacles and I don't see him losing them. Unless he discards the shirt, so it's like unless you actually quit your job or school, you can't really lose them. You can lose the quality, but not the actual pentacle. My favorite thing about the Light Seer's Tarot is that each card has an affirmation. These sum up the card as a whole. Despite the 2 of pentacles being from the Cosmic Tarot, I think the affirmation is particularly noteworthy here: "I create an equilibrium in my life that allows me to be my best self." So, for November I see you going through a door that will close. This door is meant to be closed, but it doesn't mean it can't have a window you can peer into once and a while. You're just not meant to go back through it. Instead, you're meant to step forward into your future. I see that this is going to be abundant. You're asked to remember to follow your gut instincts, but also to keep balanced. To be honest, kind of like the crystal you chose, I just feel a lot of love. And I'm not really reading that as love from someone else (I mean, yes, there could very well be that), instead, I'm reading it as you just radiating love. So, I could say...November sounds lovely for you...lol Songs: Wild Roses - Of Monsters and Men Don’t Give Up Your Ghost - Movements Kill My Time - 5 Seconds of Summer Group 3: Carnelian

Cards: The Empress, The Lovers, Death, Queen of Swords, the Sun, 7 of Pentacles, New Moon in Virgo, Blue Moon, Journey Okay, I'm a little weirded out by the whole shuffling process. Several things happened that were kind of...Oof. First I kept seeing the Queen of Swords and was thinking "I bet that's gonna come out somewhere" and it DID. Then I saw that your Seasons of the Witch card was 24, which adds to 6, which in tarot is the lovers. I've read that 6s can mean journeys too. Well, THEN the lovers came out. Bottom deck energy for the Seasons of the witch is the All Hallow's Eve card. This made me wonder if your "journey" started on Halloween. Well, guys, then the Blue Moon card fell out, and that full moon on Halloween was a blue moon. Granted, all of these are coincidental, but it's just funny how those things work out. If you think something shifted for you on Halloween, then you're correct with thinking that. For some, it's with a love connection. For others, it was you just being able to figure out a little better on where you want to go in life, or where you're headed. So, jumping in, I want to focus on the Empress card first. I love this version because she looks so much more comfortable to me than any of the other empress cards I've seen. She looks relaxed like she has everything she needs. And, I do think one could say materially she has what she needs, but she also looks like she provided it for herself. Nothing on this card suggests it other than her face. She just looks sure of herself. Moving on to the Queen of Swords, while I get a colder energy from her, she also looks kind of similar. She's not in the same posture completely. Her posture could even be argued as not looking very relaxed, but her face makes it look like she's relaxed. She looks like she's content with where she sits. She's looking off into the sky, like, though she's content with where she's at, she's also looking for something. Maybe she's searching in her own brain or scanning the world off of where the card cuts us off from what she sees. They both have their hands to their chins, one seems more sure of herself, but the other still seems sure. So, what I take away from these two cards right away is that you know yourself. Maybe you're saying, "But Sara, I'm only just figuring out who I am?" And, yeah. So am I. Life is this process where we're constantly evolving. One week you have one belief, and the next that could have changed because you've learned 100 new things. You have both the Death and the Journey card. With the lovers and these two other cards, this is saying to me that you are changing. Nothing will be the same next week and nothing will be the same the week after, but you understand your goals and your values and at the end of the day, you're still you. I almost feel that I need to stop and reassure this pile that you're still you. Maybe you've been looking in the mirror lately and not recognizing yourself. Maybe people have been saying things like "I don't know you anymore", but you're still you! YOU ARE STILL YOU! And, this is also telling you to stop, take stock of who you are at this very moment. Be sure of it. That sounds hard to me, so I can understand if you think it does too. But there are things we're sure of. Like your values. Your sense of right and wrong. Hell, the music genre you gravitate towards the most. Those are you and you alone. So, take a moment, take a breath, and think about yourself. Now, I want you to take another moment to just love yourself. No if, ands, or buts. I mean, it. Stop and say to yourself "I love me." And I need you do to it with kindness. Forget the person you flipped off while driving yesterday. Forget that last mean thing you said to someone. Forget that bad grade you got when you were 13 because you were too focused on that band that came to town. Forget it all for a second and take this time to just breathe in and love yourself for who you are in the moment. Okay. Now that that's done. Onto what's coming. Well, like the other two piles change. Everyone today seems to be going through changes. Though, it's different for everyone. Pile one was asked to take a calculated risk, but still go for it. Pile two was asked to move forward and to not move backwards. You're asked to move forward gently. And I don't mean cautiously, though with New Moon in Virgo, I'd say there is some calculation needed here. But, I still don't mean cautiously. I mean, with love. With kindness. With you being the best that you can be to others and yourself. Something is just telling me that someone reading this is really upset with themselves, and I just want you to know that while you're still you and there are some of those core things that you still have, you're also not the same person you were yesterday or 5 hours ago, and that's okay. That's life. And you need to understand that we all fuck up and we all say things we don't mean sometimes, but that doesn't set anything in stone. That doesn't define you as a horrible person. Shit happens and sometimes that shit happens because we did it. But? I still love you and you should still love you too. The more you stop to love yourself and be kind to yourself, the more you're going to discover about yourself. And while you're discovering yourself, there's a need to look ahead while simultaneously staying present. On the Death card, there's a clock stuck in the ground, frozen. I almost want to say to you that time doesn't matter. I mean, yes if you have a shift that starts at 10, by all means, go to it on time. But, in the grand scheme of things, time doesn't matter, and for you, it means that your path is not linear, nor does it have a set schedule. God, I cannot believe I'm doing this, but I had a manager that I have to quote. He once said to me that he didn't believe in time. As a history major, that confused me to no end. Like, I got where he was coming from, but my whole life consists of time time time. I thought in dates. I know dates well and dates are time. But now I kind of see it. It's this idea that life isn't time, it's lessons. Does that make sense? And, I think that's what he meant, lol. He also tended to be really cryptic so, I could be totally wrong, but this is what I'm taking from the whole thing. The Journey card from the Seasons of the Witch deck says something along the same vein to me: "Daughters of our Mother, walkers of the unknown, take with you on this journey all that you hone." So, all we need is to live and take those lessons with us as we live. And, the Virgo card also reminds me of Virgos in general. They're known to be super analytical, so there's this thought that while you need to take lessons at their face value, you also need to dive into them too. It's like reading a book by its cover. There are things to take from that cover, like how the title font presents itself to you and what the illustration/picture is, but then there's also the content inside the book. Both the cover and the content matter. Don't judge a book by its cover, but also take in what's presented to you. The seven of pentacles always means have patience whenever I pull it for myself, so I read it that way for you too. There is no set schedule (like that whole time thing, right? it's nonexistent) and that might make you antsy. But, what good does that do? You could be chilling like the Empress. Or, you could be sitting and watching that cucumber you planted last week sprout, despite knowing that it's still going to take time. One definitely sounds more relaxing. 7 of Pentacles suggests this patience because it takes more than a week for a good thing to grow, you know? And, I mean, yeah you can make things in a day, but there's that saying, "Rome wasn't built in a day." Rome was built over a VERY long period of time, going through different types of governments and it switched around between paganism and Christianity. There were a lot of changes within that long period of time. I know I went on a rant earlier about time and how it's nonexistent, and blah blah blah. However, there's also this idea that even though you need to not be focusing on time, you also need to know that for things that are quality, it takes time. Like, time and effort. No half-assed shit, right? But, I mean that in a loving way. And, this, by all means, is about you changing. So, this is something that is going to take time to hone in on. Something that's going to take finesse. It's going to take experience and love. That may be something hard to hear. Trust me, I know this. Depression is a beast and I know how that and other mental illness can really fuck with you and your perception of the world and of yourself. But, both 7 of Pentacles and New Moon in Virgo suggest taking a moment and looking at where you are and where you're going. So, again, that idea of staying present while also moving forward. But, also being analytical (but not OVER analytical). And while you're looking at where you are, there's a need to stop and be okay with where you're at, too. This is especially for my buds who are having a hard time mentally. I know that when you're in the thick of it, it's hard to get out of the fog. That some days, or even weeks, you end it with tears and it's hard to stay motivated to do anything. With me, it's a bad cycle where I lack that motivation, but to feel worthy I need to be working. It's a cruel thing that I do to myself, because my worth is not within my productivity, and I think as a society that's something (at least for all my American friends) we need to remember. There are days when the only thing you do is just getting out of bed to get food and honestly, that's better than nothing. So, it's taking stock of the things, little and big, that you accomplish. Which, that definitely adds to that idea that time for you is not linear and that it's going to take you more time to do things other people can get done in a week or two. But, then on the flip-side, there are other things that will take you less time than it would for someone else. Nothing's linear and no one's the same. No one's path is a duplicate of someone else's journey. Harry Style's song, Golden came on. There's that line where he says "You're so golden", and I think you need to hear that right now. It definitely makes me think of the Sun card, which you got. It's this card of immense happiness. Abundance. It's a beautiful card and in this deck, it's bright, super bright. So, yeah. I'd say you're so golden. And I think this is more a matter of you being the sun like you need to stop and see yourself as that. Maybe you're someone that gives so much to others but not yourself. Honestly, from what I was getting earlier I can see that. So, maybe circling back to how relaxed both the Empress and the Queen of Swords look, maybe this is a message to you to relax? Relaxing and maybe taking stock of those lessons that have been presented to you. There's also a need to take care of yourself with the New Moon in Virgo. It just suggests eating healthier and what-not, so I'd add that to the relaxation. Like, relax and take care of yourself. And, gosh, again, I gotta bring up depression because it's really simple for me to be like "HEY YOU! Take care of your body!" but, I know what it's like to not want to exist. So, if that's the case, I want you to take it day by day, breath by breath. Start out small, get a glass of water, take some deep breaths. Do something that makes you feel good (that's also not detrimental to your health). I also think you're asked to believe that you can accomplish what you want to accomplish. It's like, you can achieve so much, but you also have to make sure that you're taking care of yourself on your way. So while there could be obstacles outside of you, you're your biggest obstacle. One thing I should note is that you got the Blue Moon card. This suggests that you may get an opportunity of some sort that's rare. Now, this could mean a lot of things with these other cards. One I can see is travel with the journey card. I see it more as outside into nature really, with the colors from the Virgo card and the forest on the Blue Moon card. Like, a camping trip? Honestly, right now I'd give anything to go camping, so if you go, send me pictures! Another for someone is maybe meeting someone you click well with, whether it be platonically or romantically with the Lovers. If that's the case, I see this relationship being really good, like nurturing and abundant. Full of joy and good times. Another is maybe just a chance to just take a step back and rest with both the Empress and the Queen of swords. Either way, I see this as being something that you consider to be good. It will also transform you in some way, more than how you're changing now. I can't really get into more because it just feels like this is super general because I feel like a lot of you are choosing this pile. I do suggest that if you felt called to the other two piles, I'd go look at them since they're all about change too. The bottom of one of the decks is the Star, so I see that there is a hopeful energy to this and that whatever is going to happen, you're going to start feeling more hopeful. But also, promise me you'll be kind to yourselves? Music:

Golden - Harry Styles Was It Something I Said? - Mykey

#tarot #pick a pile #pick a card #tarot reading #november pick a pile

32 notes · View notes

shuttershocky · 4 years

Note

What's your opinion on every Arknights medic operator you have?

Every Medic Operator I have huh?

Alrighty!

Gavial: Cheap to raise, very effective burst heals with long cooldowns. Best for short levels!

Sussuro: I haven’t used him but apparently he’s quite great for budget builds where you’re using mostly 3 stars!

Hibiscus: Can’t go wrong with everyone starter medic.

Ansel: His range increase skill actually makes him pretty handy for certain maps. The farming stage for the tier 2 Guard/Specialist chips comes to mind!

Lancet: ROBOTS ARE SO GOOD THEY SCALE SO WELL WITH POTENTIAL Lancet costing 3 DP, not counting towards deployment limit, and having a global heal on drop gets very useful when you need to heal through some burst damage, or when you’re making some extremely aggressive openings. One of my favorite uses for Lancet was in the drone stage for CC Beta where I would deal with Crossbowmen risks by deploying Exusiai first and have her try to activate her skill 3 and kill all the crossbowmen before she dies. By using Lancet I could take some heat off her while healing at least half her HP to buy the time I needed.

Ceylon: W I D E R A N G E. The Status Resistance she gives to allies also proved very helpful in Chapter 6.

Perfumer: I run a lot of starts with Mayer, who’s Meebos can’t be healed normally, and Hellagur (I finally got my own!) so Perfumer’s global regen is something I get a lot of use out of. She also allows for some extremely aggressive, spaced out placements with operators like Vulcan, Hellagur, or Specter who can easily survive spawncamping enemy gates with the added regen improving their own survivability.

Myrrh: I swear, Myrrh is underrated. Her skill 1 is so fucking good and her attack stat is pretty decent. Myrrh is my go to single target medic. I have one whose stronger, but she’s not used as a real medic. That’s because she’s-

Warfarin: HOW IS WARFARIN FAIR? WHY DOES SHE GET +2 SP FOR HERSELF AND AN ALLY IN RANGE WHEN SOMEONE DIES? WHY CAN SHE AMP HER ALLY’S ATTACK +90%? WHY IS HER BUFF STRONG ENOUGH TO MAKE EXUSIAI START DELETING HEAVY DEFENDERS? If you get Warfarin, E2 her ASAp, M3 the shit out of her second skill. It’s a LOT easier to figure out Warfarin placements than all those reviews about her make it look. She forms one of my precious superbuff triumvirate of Sora, Warfarin, and Aak, all with their attack buff skills M3′d. When Blaze is out there dealing 2,600 physical damage to 3 enemies on a 3 tile range, you can’t say anything except how you love to see it. There’s only one medic I have that’s more blatantly dumb than Warfarin and that’s-

Ptilopsis: More like GODLOPSIS.

#Anonymous

30 notes · View notes

ahiddenpath · 4 years

Note

hey hidden. I hope this question isn't weird but your job is very cool to me, so I was wondering: what exactly did you need for education to get into it, and what's it like for you?

Are- Are you- Are you asking me to nerd out?

THE NERDING WILL COMMENCE BELOW THE CUT!

EDIT: Trigger warning for discussion of cancer treatments/research.

SO I am a molecular biologist. I am currently researching immunotherapies for a biotech company.

One thing I should emphasize is that this stuff takes an enormous team working together for years. I don’t want anyone to think that I’m, like... Personally producing cancer medicines. I’m part of a team of about 400 people, working together with 20 ish years of data produced by our company and the companies we partner with. And my boss tells me what I’m going to work on! I design the experiment, run the experiment, and consider the data from there, but I’m not the “mastermind” for anything. It’s usually the upper level career scientists with pHDs doing that.

Another disclaimer is that, sadly, we as humans aren’t at the “defeat cancer forever” stage. Like, it’s not... near. The best defense continues to be frequent screening so it can be caught and treated early (which is bad news in the states, where people can’t afford the screening because we don’t have universal health care, or they can afford it but don’t go because they have three part time jobs, none of which give benefits- But I digress).

Oh! And one more thing I want to tell all future science dorks, something I was super lucky to learn at age 19: follow the money.

When I was 19, I was culturing and chemically processing algae, then assessing the data. My company at the time wanted to create biodiesel from algae, and my whole world was rocked when they told me: WE ALREADY CAN MAKE VIABLE FUEL FROM ALGAE. The problem is that it costs about $4.50 per gallon, so it can’t compete with normal diesel (at the time, this was like 12 years ago).

So what they wanted was algae that had the correct chemical profile for use in biodiesel, that could also be grown at tropical temperatures. Why? Because the algae was to be grown in sugar cane processing centers, where it’s tropical, and most of the production costs came from cooling the incubators and instruments that would grow the algae. So they needed algae that could make diesel, but also grow in hot weather, which apparently isn’t common.

ALWAYS FOLLOW THE MONEY! It’s often not even about “can we do it,” but “can we do it at x cost, considering conditions hundreds of miles away.” Crazy!

Ah, but you asked how to get into biotech! It’s not that hard, thankfully! I have a BS in biology. I made sure to get good grades and all of that, and if you’re serious about biotech, you want to take classes in things like immunology, virology, any science class that can return to human health and biotech. I will say that, while I’ve always naturally excelled at biology, I had to take more chemistry than bio! Plus, you need math and physics...

But here’s my best advice for biotech-interested young people:

-If you’re looking at universities while in high school, PLEASE check out what AP classes will get you out of undergrad labs. The WORST PART about being a science kid is the labs. For example, every bio and chem class has a lab. The class itself usually consists of three 50 minute lectures (150 min/week), and you get 3 credits. The lab is 170 min per week, and you only get 1 credit. If you don’t place out of some classes with labs attached with AP credit, YOUR ASS WILL BE SITTING IN LABS FOR AT LEAST 340 MINUTES A WEEK! AND YOU ONLY GET 2 CREDITS FOR THAT!!!! It’s utter bullshit.

So, if you’re in high school and really serious about pursuing a science degree, check out which AP scores get you out of labs at your favorite universities, and really commit to getting 5s in those.

I was able to place out of 3 labs this way, and it played an enormous role in maintaining my sanity.

-Everyone in biotech knows EVERYONE in biotech. It’s absolutely astounding. But it’s a small field, centered around a few hot spots, and lots of these people have been at it for 40+ years.

Here are some of the hot spots in America (you might have to live in one of these areas to find biotech jobs, so be sure you’re down for that).

Anyway, like I said, I worked as an undergrad at a biotech. I was so fortunate, because they paid me, I was already doing actual-factual research, and I got to know people. And when I graduated, people went, “Oh you worked for Bob? Let me give him a call.” And then they did. And then Bob said, “Oh yeah, she’s a hard worker, hire her.”

SO you need to make connections ASAP, and strive to show people your hard-working, curious, problem-solving, good-attitude-having self. Sadly, there’s an element of luck there, for sure. But you need to be ready to try to work in professional labs in college, which means juggling your difficult courses and school labs with work. Hooray!

...Did I say this wasn’t hard? I’m full of shit, aren’t I. Looking back, all I can see is how lucky I was, and how I “only” needed a 4 year degree, but... It really takes a lot to get here.

As for what it’s like...

I love it, it’s great, but like any job, it... Well, it’s rough.

Here’s what I think you need to thrive in biotech, assuming you’re not put off by the stuff I’ve already covered:

-Organization, time management, and focus. Honestly, being a lab researcher isn’t about being smart, it’s about juggling a lot of things simultaneously. Lots of folks describe the job as “hurry up and wait,” because you rush to mix the experimental ingredients together so they can incubate for two hours before you do the next step. And while that’s incubating, you do x, which has a few 15 minute incubations. In those 15 minutes, you generate graphs with yesterday’s data, make records for you lab notebook, order items for next week’s experiment, print labels, or... Any number of things. There are ALWAYS tons of balls in the air, so organization and time management are 90% of the job.

And you need to focus, because most of the time it looks like you’re adding a single droplet of water to other droplets of water. Almost everything you work with is a clear liquid, so you can’t go spacing out and forgetting what you’ve already added to the mix.

A typical day is to arrive at work, sit down for a while to plan out how to best use the incubation times to do other things, head into the lab, hope for incubation periods for toilet/water/food breaks, and scramble to get data processing in there somewhere. Deadlines are usually tight, because it’s always a race to patent a medicine before one of the other 5,000 companies trying to do it can. We all work from the shared published scientific knowledge, so there’s no... Developing something in secret.

I’d say my job is challenging, but rewarding, especially as we come closer to generating medicines for what we call “patients with unmet needs.” Remember how I said “follow the money?” Sadly, often, um... Okay I’m gonna do a really quick and loose explanation. People have different versions of the same genes, right? And sometimes, there are “cancer” genes- this is a really sloppy explanation, sorry. So medicines get created for the most common mutated cancer gene first. So say 70% of cancer patients have this mutated gene, 20% have that mutated gene, and 10% have a third mutated gene. Guess who gets medicine made for them first?

If you guessed the largest group, you’re right! The trouble is that big companies will then move on to the largest group for another cancer/gene group, leaving people with more rare genetic issues without treatment options beyond chemo, which many elderly or immunocompromised patients simply can’t tolerate.

My company specifically aims to help these people with no help in sight. On the one hand, follow the money- we are doing it because we will have a market, and we can’t compete with big companies yet. On the other, we are helping people who have no options. I’m so grateful to use my gifts (organization, planning, focus, problem solving, and natural curiosity) to play a small, small role in hopefully helping people. It means something to me.

On the other hand, it can be a grind, no lie. And any high-pressure job will have colleagues who are also under pressure, and might lash out or try to throw other people under the bus when problems arise. A certain level of emotional maturity and strength is required, and frankly, I needed therapy to get there.

Also, if you’re a female-presenting human, some people will give you shit in biotech. Luckily, I’ve only ever had one coworker be blatantly sexist and ask me (multiple times) if I was sure I belonged here. Unfortunately, you’re more likely to see more discrete sexism, like folks asking you to organize parties for pregnant or engaged coworkers because “you seem like you’d be good at it,” ie “you’re female and I am throwing social tasks at you so I can focus on my science, which you also have to do.” I’ve had a lot of coworkers try so hard to corner me into doing emotional work for them. But... Honestly, most of this is just existing as a woman, and isn’t specific to biotech.

So yeah! You’re gonna have to work hard, but if you have an interest in science, great organization skills, and want to play a little role in helping people who are suffering in a way that doesn’t involve direct social interaction with the hurting people... It’s great!

Sorry for the absolute wall of text, I hope this helps! I’m always happy to talk about this, so please ask away if you’d like. Thanks for the ask!

#Anonymous #ask hidden #career stuff #biotech

2 notes · View notes

laurenmich3l3 · 4 years

Text

Courage

We hear often to take heart in our God. I like to see this as us being courageous or having Him be our source of courage. Being courageous is a reaction to taking heart. Having courage that He will guide us through everything that we go through. You're standing on the summit of Christ? Take heart, be courageous, and stand strong. You're in the valleys of this mountain of Gods promises? Take heart, be courageous, and fight the good fight. Gods got you. Sometimes we hear this and we know it's a task we can overcome. Other times we don't. Either way we may not know what taking heart and being courageous looks like in our real life situations. What do we need to do to obtain this courage? Let's look at what the definition of courage is. The first definition has it listed as, "The ability to do something that frightens us." And the second, "Strength in the face of pain or grief." Both definitions are describing the same word and yet are explaining two different situations in which we take this word into verb form. In one, we can see us standing on the summit of Christ and the other we can see us in the valley of Christ's mountain. Looking at the two separately what do we get?

"The ability to do something that frightens us." When on the summit of Christ we may not see any pain in sight. We may be having a life that all seems to be going well. But then that one thing happens or could potentially happen that sends that gut wrenching feeling that scares us to our core. There is that job change or that city change. For students, that college application that is due or that internship that opens up. Those are things that may frighten us while we are on the summit of Christ. Now that second definition changes it up. This one describes those valleys we may find ourselves in. "Strength in the face of pain or grief." When you feel like you're drowning. When you are living at that eight out of ten on the depression scale. When we get that curve ball through unseen news from the doctors, the loss of friends or family, sudden of not. We get fired and that ability to pay our bills disappears. These are some of those things that make you obtain so much fear and/or sorrow that death may seem like the best option. How do we obtain courage in these situations? How do we get that God confidence that Gods word says is right there. That courage that if we've accepted Him as Lord, we already have, somewhere amongst the overpowering fear. It's there. 1 John 5:14{This is the courage we have...},'Psalm 121:1-2{My help comes from the Lord.}, Proverbs 28:1{Bold as a lion.} It's right there. Still how do we go about obtaining this in our actual life? How do we "take heart" and be courageous? Let's break it down.

We CALL on Him. Ask Him for whatever answers or comfort you need. Ask Him for guidance and for that God given peace that we can receive. He wants us to ask Him. He wants us to rely on Him. John 16:24 says, "Until now you have asked for nothing in my name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be made full." Now, we have to realize and remember that not everything we ask for will be answered the way we want or expect it to. But He promises that no matter the answer our "joy may be made full." Not necessarily ASAP, but it will. We have to call on Him in the valleys and on the mountains to start to obtain that courage that we seek. That God given courage. We need to call on Him on the summit and in the valleys. We don't need God only when times are tough. We need to call on God to continue to give us strength, discernment, love, patience, rest, etc. Counting on Christ and continuing to call on Him is a daily thing that we never should stop doing. Calling on Him and praying is what He wants us to do.

After we ask for whatever may be on our hearts we need to make sure that our hearts are OPEN to that answer. Like I said, He may not answer us the way we want or in the time frame that we want Him to. Trust me, I know first hand that this does not always happen. But think, if we decided what we needed and when, then how often will self destruction be our ending? How will our story play out if we were really in charge of these things? I know that my life with me as the boss has led me to a month of major suicidal tendencies, then rehab for 90 days, and into the walls of AA. All of that followed a life full of sorrow and a life with a lot less joy than what I could have had. If had I just let God be fully in charge from the beginning. Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." We have to open our hearts to trust in His word, His promises, His guidance in order to receive His peace and understanding. Self reliance will fail us time and time again. The more we know the less we really know. The more we think we know about Christ may then again lead us to thinking we know enough to go back to being our own boss. That is self reliance once again. We have to have an open heart to trust that God has us in the valleys and on the summit. That's just that much closer we have gotten to having courage in whatever situation we may find us in.

I know in my life I knew to use Gods word as the source of these answers, but I would sometimes still end up confused by what I read. I didn't know how God was going to speak to me to give me such answers that I had prayed for. I had called upon Him and opened me heart? This is where He gives us the ability to USE the community He has provided for us. God calls us as the body of believers to help each other. He gives us each different characteristics, traits, strengths, weaknesses, and stories. He created us and guides us all in different ways. Sometimes something specific we are going through right now is something that someone has already gone through. He gives us people that understand the Word to give us an understanding in that aspect. He uses His people to help answer us loudly when we don't know how to hear Him quietly. God has given me the community of AA as a guide to connect with Him on a level that Leads me to be daily giving up control to self. I am daily counting on Him and that helps me be able to see and hear those answers that I wasn't able to understand before. But if I don't actively use the community then it's like buying a gallon of milk for cereal and letting it go bad. We didn't use that milk to help us enjoy the cereal more or make it easier to eat. Ephesians 4:16 says, "From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." Hebrews 10:24-25 also tells us, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another- and all the more as you see the Day approaching." God made the community to be the community. In the highs and the lows. On the summit and in the valleys.

What are we doing this whole time as we call, open, and use? We are RELYING on God and His promises. Why else would we be drawn to Christ in the first place and then stay? Because of His promises and then the fact that He follows through with them. As much as we need to rely on each other as the body of believers we need to first and foremost rely on Christ and what His word says. We are a people of tangible evidence. We are a people that want proof for something to be true and that is where Gods promises come into play. We need proof to believe that what He says will come true. Just as much as we rely on the fact that gravity exists we need to believe in Christ's power and everything that comes along with it. Are we staying on the ground or are we floating around? Gravity. We can rely on gravity. We can rely on Christ through not only His word and everything that proves He is faithful, but through the things that have happened in our lives. Through the summit that we stand on and in the valleys all the same. What are some of His promises? Isaiah 26:3 says, "You will keep in perfect peace those minds are steadfast, because they trust in you." Promise number one, peace. Deuteronomy 31:8 says, "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be discouraged." God will never leave us or forsake us. Sounds good. Isaiah 40:29, "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." If we seek this God of ours fully, relying on Him, then we won't only find peace, security, and strength, but so much more. On the summit it is so much easier to see these promises, but it's in the valleys that we really need to rely on Christ and remember what promises we have already seen evidence of. I know it's easier said than done. Trust me, I have been there. But God has us on repeat. Keep the reminder of what He has done on repeat because "He will NEVER leave you or forsake you."

As we do all of these things, especially relying on Christ we are taking ACTION on His instructions. His instructions to Call on Him, Open our hearts to Him, Use the community He has provided, and Rely on Him and His promises. But there is more to His instructions than these that will help us take heart and be courageous. Exodus 20:3-17 explains His commandments for us. Matthew 7:12 spells out the Golden Rule. Matthew 22:36-40 shows the greatest commandments. His commandments are drawn all through out the Bible. These are not just rules for the religious to follow. These are things for us to do so that we can strengthen our relationship with Christ. The stronger our relationship with Christ is the more able we will be to "take heart" and be courageous when we are in those valleys of Christ's mountain. But we must take action and follow theses commands as we are being courageous. Deuteronomy 7:9 says, "Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love Him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations..." All of those promises we talked about we receive as we actively follow Hs commandments. This relationship with Christ is a two way street. A very uneven two way street because we do not, in any way, deserve His love. But we have to take the action of His commandments, calling on Him, opening our hearts, using our community(as well as giving back to our community), and relying on Him. Through the summit walking and valley climbing. John 15:10-11 tells us, "If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Fathers commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may remain in you and that your joy may be full." We need to actively abide or "act in accordance with" our Savior and Lord to gain this God-confidence, as I like to call it.

We need to not forget to GIVE THANKS for all of the promises and the life guidance we have received from God. It's another one of His commands. He is such a gracious God and loves us more than we deserve or could ever comprehend. He wants us so succeed and be joy filled. He doesn't want us to live a life full of misery. That is why He wants us to do all of these things, to obtain His promises. He provides us with a job, health, a roof over our head, friends, family, community, pets, another breath to breathe. Any or all of these promises that He can only provide. Even when we find ourselves in the valley, we could always find one of these things to thank Him for. Psalm is a book that is full of thanks when you may not be able to find the words to say. Or even when you may not be able to feel the gratitude in the moment of drowning in the valley. He is still our God of great things that more than deserves our thanks and asks for it in His word. Psalm 118:1, "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever." Psalm 7:17a, "I will give thanks to the Lord because of his righteousness." Psalm 7:8-9, "Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for making, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things." This helps us see His goodness even when we don't feel it. Just go to Psalm to get those reminders that we need to actively give thanks. He has always brought us through something that we can thank Him for. There is always something that He is showing us in life, a lesson to learn, that we can thank Him for. It's always easier to find the thanks while we are standing on the summit, but we can't forget to give the thanks even in the valleys.

Since we know all these commands that God has for us we are able to ENDURE the climb of life. Life is not going to be 100% on the summit. But we can continue to climb back up while taking the action that is needed. We can have courage to endure the climb because we have His word here to remind us what to do when we don't feel brave. We have all of these promises that He has provided. Those moments when we fall down the valley after tripping on a rock of self reliance. We have all of the things He has done in our life this far as proof for our human thinking to remind us that there is a peak through the clouds. Even when it is out of sight, there is a sun shinning down even though there is that cloud blocking Christ's summit. Psalm 30:4-5, "Sing praise to the Lord, you saints of His, and give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name. For His anger is but a moment, His favor is for life; weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning." Some may say that they wake up in the morning and the problems and feelings are still there. I learned this the hard way and took this verse literally. My thought was, "It's been 24hrs and these things are still there. Gods promise didn't come true." So I drank away the feeling day and night. Alcohol promised to take away the feelings. God doesn't always work in 24hr shifts. We went through this. In Gods time and way He will take care of us and these things. "The morning" in this verse may or may not be that next morning. It means that in Gods time the sun will set on these things and "the morning" will come and some promises will come right along with it. We just have to endure the climb and trust in our God.

My morning didn't come for 27 years, but it finally did. I finally took heart and had COURAGE in our great God. I finally have that relationship with Him that we all need. It took me hitting that valley hard. But God never leaves us and He is continuously helping endure that climb back up to the summit. Read Genesis 37-50. It's the story of Joseph. It ends in chapter 50:19-20a with, "But God intended it all for good." All of the pain and heartbreak of this climb is worth it. All of the promises will come. Life is worth it. Trust God 110% and have COURAGE in this crazy God filled life. Gods got us on repeat. Always.

Lauren Michele

0 notes

deadinsidedressage · 7 years

Text

Anonymous Barn Drama #28

The Worst USPC Show Jump Rally, Literally Ever: Part 2

You’ve Never Seen a Little Kid Truly Devastated Until a Whole Team of Them Are DQ’d

Well, the Rally rolls around. Let me start with a really brief breakdown of how Rallies function:

Everyone has to arrive before a certain time, you can overnight or morning of.

Everyone has to set up all their stalls and tackroom/feed room between specific time parameters (generally it’s roughly an hour to do so)

Parents are not allowed. At all. Ever. Trainers are not allowed outside of the warm-up ring.

You have 3 rides in a Show Jump Rally: Equitation, Take Your Own Line, and Normal Knockdown w/ Jump Off

The morning competition starts (or at times the night before, wholly dependent on whose hosting the Rally & official times, OR both) everyone has to do official jogs and get their horses passed for competition. This literally involves SOME version of everyone being in a line for way too long.

Horse Management judging breaks down like this:

Your tack trunk/feed room/WHOLE setup is judged all at one time. You can regain points if you can prove they just missed something, usually your Stable Manager helps walk them though.

Your cleanliness of stalls & overall well-being of the horses is generally judged at least once more in an unannounced walk-through, sometimes they do 2 or 3 walkthroughs

You have an official judging of you cleanliness and turnout ONCE the whole weekend, other times you are just given a safety check before riding.

You are judged on the condition of your horse, tack, & boots an HOUR after your last ride of the day is completed (Rallies are generally 2 days of riding)

NOW, keep all the above in mind. So, let’s start with the night we all roll in. We’re allowed to bring in the tack trunk but not set it up, are allowed to set up the feed room since we have to feed and at this Rally everyone had to be there by 8pm or something stupid like that because it was SUCH a big Rally that we needed to start riding ASAP in the morning. The horse I brought is on the smaller end, BUT has horrible, horrible ground manners. Charges the stall door when opened, kicks at anything and everything, and desperately wants to bite everyone to death. Obviously none of the kids can or should be handling this horse. Which also means... I can’t help them because I’m too busy keeping this horse from going on a murder spree. Now the OTHER upper level riding brought a 17.2hh RIGHT off the track OTTB. Literally, it’s been maybe 2 full months AND he was raced up until the end. He’s TOO big for his own good and just the flightiest, stupidest motherfucker. Clearly none of the children can or should handle him either. Which means SHE also cannot help any of the children. Our Stable Managers (SMs) consist of one 17 year old and one 7 year old. The 7 year old is useless. Cue one 17 year old trying to user 8 horse & rider combos down to jogs with the appropriate footwear, helmets, gloves, and competitor numbers. Cue all but one of the 6 children combos not being used to leading their ponies EVER and therefore this being an impossible task. Imagine my 17 y.o. SM singing “The Impossible Dream” and sobbing as she tries to herd one thousand cats that are just spraying piss and that’s probably a pretty close mental image to how this went down. We all end up being cleared, BUT we’re not cleared until almost midnight. We’ve been in that line since 8:30. All those kids were tired. I was tired. My friend was tired. The two green jackasses were somehow NOT tired and had never ceased their shit. So it’s day one of riding. We have the EQ & make your own course rides. Already in the morning everything is a clusterfuck. One of the ponies does not have a breakaway halter and NONE of the ponies have emergency contact on their halters. If you do not have these things, you lose points. We make tape tags and realize we’re already off to a bad start with our Horse Management (HM) score. At some point between either taking the 6 children to get either their coursewalks in or hot chocolate OR a group pee break... the pony without the breakaway has a... different fucking halter on... The only way that pony had a different halter on would be if a parent came into the barn and changed it. Parents are not allowed in. The entire team will be disqualified, not allowed to ride, and sent home if someone finds out a parent came in. We’re paranoid as fuck and make the pony another tape tag. We pray this doesn’t happen again. But it does. Approximately three more times. Two of which happened inbetween judges coming through so we lose a total of 4 points for this pony’s halter because the two times they come through the pony has a different non-breakaway (-1) and non-tagged (-1) halter. Jesus fuck. They started with the super high classes, came down to about 3′3 (1m) at this Rally before then building back up from the trot poles. Idk what the method to their madness was, but I just remember we had a pretty long time before we needed to actually get ready for inspections and our first rides. During ANOTHER break for either food or peeing or the kids wanted to look at the people selling sweatshirts... we come to find a pony has disappeared. The three young adults are FREAKING THE FUCK OUT until the little girl who belongs to that pony goes “Oh, he needs to be lunged before I ride him so my trainer probably came in and took him.” What. The. Fuck.

Again, if this was discovered we would ALL be disqualified and sent home. The official ruling at the time was that if a horse needed to be lunged it could be lunged by anyone on the team who was a C2 or above BUT couldn’t be lunged by someone not on the team. I was a C3, my friend was a C2, my SM was an HB. One of us could have legally lunged that pony... Oh and it should be noted that the trainer who lunged the pony ended up not even being the same trainer we had paid to coach our team. One of these girl’s mom’s literally paid her regular trainer to drive a 1 1/2 hour distance to lung this pony ILLEGALLY for 30 minutes.

This is where the real fun begins. Formal inspections. So, as stated in the last part of this story; my friend and I are competing at a lower level than the children on our team which means we have to leave to do formals and ride before them. WHICH MEANS we cannot help get any of them ready. We are not able to get any help while tacking up our horses because of aforementioned issues with the horses themselves BUT ALSO a) My SM is literally have to babysit 7 kids b) These kids don’t know how to tack up c) Even if my SM could help, she wouldn’t have time to help 2 riders AND have enough time to get 6 kids ready. She starts trying to orchestrate 6 kids getting ready when both of us upper level girls are about halfway through getting ready. We with her godspeed and leave. We both end up having GREAT formal inspections, both get a lot of exceeds standards and no loss of points. We ALSO both have amazing EQ rounds. We’re feeling like we’re on cloud nine! We go back into the warm-up arena to cooldown and all 6 children are THERE, so that’s GOOD. When our horses are chill, we leave and prep for the upcoming follow-up inspections. What we learn upon returning: There wasn’t a single child who didn’t manage to get at minimum 5 points off. This is thanks to none of them knowing how to put ANY tack on their horse, insisting they HAD to have their standing martingales on (NOT LEGAL TACK, -1 AND REMOVED), and apparently readjusting a bunch of shit on their horses after the SM had put them in line for their formals and since they didn’t know what the fuck they were doing they just fucked it all up. My favorite is the girl whose trainer insisted her horse needed SMBs put the SMBs on backwards. As in the part the fetlock clearly goes in was on the front of the ankle. She was the oldest kid too. What we learn upon ride scores being posted: All of the kids were at minimum 90 seconds over optimum time (factored into the EQ score) because they apparently refused to canter and the trainer being used as the coach for our team thought there was somehow a different optimum time for ponies despite IT BEING LISTED THAT OPTIMUM TIME SHOULD BE DOABLE FOR PONIES and the THERE’S ONLY ONE OPTIMUM TIME. So, we’re already completely fucked over for placing in this competition. Both teams are so dead last it’s laughable because there is no way in hell we will ever catch up to any of the other teams. We’re just in competition for who between our two teams will be second to last. We manage to be successful in not racking up anymore bad points for the “turnback” inspections (which are basically, hey is your stall clean did you clean your horse and did you clean your tack again). Miraculous. HOWEVER... during the inspections of our tack trunk/everything else we manage to earn over 20 negative points PER TEAM. PER GODDAMN TEAM. So all the stuff that we didn’t have that that one mother offered to buy? She didn’t. She bought like one tube of neosporin and called it good. The grooming boxes we wanted to go through with the kids? Yeah, none of the kids had the right brushes... or wash buckets and sponges... OH AND, when they checked the overall cleanliness of the stalls, well that was after the one competent SM had trucked 6 kids down to get their formals done and she hadn’t had time to pick out 6 stalls yet. Cause... none of those kids were going to do it. In fact they straight up refused. So we are SUPER fucking deadlast. Second round of rides are Take Your Own Line, I grew up knowing that if you didn’t want to put any effort into designing a course you could just redo the EQ course and it was FINE. No one CARED. You don’t get extra points for creativity. Right so, all 6 kids want to come up with some special course. None of these kids understand crossing their line. Apparently when they have the coach review their courses he doesn’t notice it either. He ALSO doesn’t notice that the start/end line is just the middle of the direction and you have to pass it FACING the gate to start and pass it AWAY from the gate to end. He ends up okaying 7 courses that are going to get disqualified for crossing the line or not entering the start flags. Now, side note: I hate this coach and did not pay for his coaching and refused his coaching. I try and point out the start/finish line but he fucking hates me back so he insists he’s correct. I’m like okay whatever I’m repeating the EQ course but making sure I cross this way instead. SIMPLE. My friend gets DQ’d for not crossing start before going over her first fence. All 6 kids get DQ’d for that OR if they make it past that they get DQ’d on their 2nd or 3rd fence for crossing their line. I had a really super round if anyone cares. We end up doing a team/club dinner when we’re dismissed for the night and it consists of 6 children sobbing about the unfairness of the world because they were all DQ’d and had the worst EQ scores I’ve ever seen at a USPC Rally thanks to the optimum time shit. The coach is too ashamed to show his face. BUT WAIT, IT ONLY GETS BETTER ON DAY 2 OF RIDES!

#anonymous barn drama #horsblr #horseblr #horses #eventing #dressage #jumping #hunter #jumpers #barrels #barrel racing #western gaming #western #western riding #western pleasure

27 notes · View notes

johnnyscoronavivor · 5 years

Text

Immunity Challenge #3 - Day 4

Welcome to your next immunity challenge! For this challenge, you’re going to be playing a game I like to call I Triple Dog Dare You. And here is how it works, my cohosts and I have thrown together a few “dares” for you guys that you’re going to have to complete. Each of these dares requires either a video or a screenshot. You can upload all video dares to YouTube and send YouTube links (I can show you how to do it if you need help), and screenshots you can send per normal. EVERYTHING MUST BE SUBMITTED INTO YOUR HOST CHAT FOR IT TO COUNT!!!!!!!

Here are the dares:

1 Point:

- Say the Greek Alphabet backwards

- Put on 6 Layers of clothing

- Take an entire fist full of chips/pretzels/goldfish/cheez its and shove them all in your mouth at once

- Kiss your driveway

- Make a video complimenting me for 60 seconds

- Make a 60 second video predicting who you think is going to win the entire game and why

2 Points:

- Shotgun a beer/can of soda

- Eat a blade of grass

- Get your entire tribe on a Skype call at once and screenshot it (this is a 16 point item since there’s 8 of you and 2 points each)

- Play a game of Chess/Checkers online (or iMessage games) against someone from a different tribe. Winner gets 2 points, and you can only play one match. If you lose your match, you can’t get a point.

- Text Matt Mastrangelo asking to be removed from his private story (if you’re not on it, text him anyways)

- Re-enact this vine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l7ZK8fhp8Q

3 Points:

- Call a brother not in the game and tell them you have Ligma

- Re enact the Bramson/Johnny lighter/hammer interaction

- Get a score of over 30,000 on Robot Unicorn Attack

- Read this from start to finish: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iH9nHCIdLqPxAERWnkYlhNwEYTJM_806FwvkYmkjfMU/edit

- Rub peanut butter on your face like war paint across your cheeks

- Win a game of cup pong against me on iMessage games

4 Points:

- Lip Sync to Photograph by Nickelback

- Make a TikTok of any kind and send it to me

- Send Perry Falk a screen-long text message telling him how happy you are he doesn’t have Coronavirus and that he’s healthy

- Read the first five chapters of my immortal (https://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/chapters122.htm)

- Put your phone in your refrigerator and put something WEIRD in there, then record yourself opening the fridge door, taking out the weird object, giving a fun nod of approval, then close the fridge door again. End recording.

- Sing whatever your pledge class Serenade was from start to finish without music playing in the background

5 Points:

- Take a full shower with your clothes on (soap and shampoo)

- Mix 3 condiments together and drink it

- Crack an egg over your head

- Call a grandparent/aunt/uncle and tell them you got Coronavirus

- Do a hand/headstand for 3 seconds

**Everyone is responsible for the whole list. The total amount of points you can get is 90, so your tribe can get a maximum of 270 points

The dares all have different point values, ranging on level of difficulty. The two tribes with the highest cumulative scores will win immunity and live to see another day, while the losing tribe will have a date with me at tribal council Sunday night, where one of you will be the fourth person voted out of the game.

Additionally, the top scorer from each tribe will get a tribal idol clue. If there's a tie, all of those involved in the tie will get it.

All dare submissions/screenshots are due tomorrow night by 10pm EST. Arakaka, since you have one extra tribe member, you must sit somebody out of the immunity challenge. Please let me know that decision ASAP!

0 notes

bestfriendsonamission-blog1 · 7 years

Text

6 Month Update!

I know I’m a few weeks behind, but whats new?!?

This Spring/Summer has been quite the rollercoaster, I’m not exactly sure where to begin...since ya know, I haven’t been updating anything!! For starter, we will begin back in April; my birthday Month. Below is a photo of Holly and I. We went to the Melting Pot in Minneapolis for my Birthday Dinner. It was amazing - the fondue *see photos below*.

Please note, this is not my favorite photo of myself, but I am trying to be more positive about unflattering photos. It’s more about the moment anyways.

23 was a wonderful year. I couldn’t have asked for a more wonderful celebration. In addition to the Melting Pot, Holly surprised me with balloons and chocolate - WAITING AT THE TABLE when we arrived. Holly also bought me my favorite perfume and a donut! And during the week, my roommate Sharissa surprised me with balloons and a vegan donut from Glam Dolls. I have two wonderful friends. Furthermore, I spent a wonderful week with Eddie. He spoiled me rotten. We went trap shooting (my FIRST time ever), saw a movie - had sex in a movie theater. SHHHHHH!!! Went to MOA, played mini golf, went out to dinner, had great birthday sex, and went trap shooting again. It was such a relaxing week, spent with the most wonderful of souls. For my birthday, Eddie bought me a 90 minute massage, a candle, chocolate, and the most precious card I have ever received. He said that he loved me in the card. Lastly, Erikka and Alexis took me to see Magic Men for the birthday. What a funny show! Definately good entertainment.

Flash forward to May! Sharissa and I went to see Wicked at the Orpheum at Minneapolis.

Preface: The Wizard of Oz is a classic in my family household, greatly due to my GG-Pa. He loved the Wizard of Oz and he definately would’ve loved Wicked AND that it was on Broadway. He was a New Yorker, ya know! My GG-Pa, loved the story, simply because he believed that everyone has kindness in their hearts, no matter how evil. I am so grateful for the short period of time I had him in my life, he taught me so many valuable lessons that I will carry with me throughout my entire life. I feel like, although my GG-Pa is no longer with me, he was present during that show.

What a beautiful story. I loved every minute of it and would definitely see it again. It was so much fun to dress up and treat myself to something, extraordinary!! I cannot wait to see Aladdin at the Orpheum in October with Sharissa, Alexis and Erikka. <3

Shortly, a few weeks later, Sharissa and I played hooky from work for 1hr on a Friday afternoon and went to Glam Doll Donuts in Minneapolis to get their one of a kind Mac & Cheese donut. I would highly recommend!

Here is a cool picture of Holly and I. We went to the Largest Candy Store in MN. It was fucking huge. It was very overwhelming and I probably would not go back. Unless it’s for pie. Their pie smelled amazing. There were just too many people and annoying children and so much fucking candy. I’m not a vintage, classic, flavor extravagant, exotic and rare exported candy type of gal. But if you are, you should check it out. The sign was cool!

Let’s talk about Olive. One of my goals for this year was to achieve potty training. Well, that’s achieved!! Olive is such a wonderful support. It’s such a wonderful feeling to come home to a pet that loves you unconditionally.

Other than the potty training, not much has changed wit her. She is still a complete badass - see image above. She loves playing at the dog park, playin’ with toys, eaten’ food, treats, and poop, and cuddlin’ with her Mama. Olive can shake, sit, catch, drop, roll over, lay down, speak, and stay. She is quite the catch!

In late May, I went back to Colorado to visit my sister and nephew for the first time since his birth in December!

We didn’t do too much on this trip for tourism, other than visit Garden of the Gods. See images below. It was such a wonderful trip to spend time with family and bond with my sister and nephew. It was a trip full of laughs, food, and marijuana. I am so blessed that my sister came into my life. My nephew is such a (cliche) bundle of JOY!

WOW! I am just realizing how far behind I am on documenting my goals and adventures. This is a lot.

In early June, Eddie and I went to a Twins Game at Target Field. I had an absolute blast. The game went into the 15th inning. We definitely got our moneys worth, that’s for sure! It was so fun to laugh, cuddle, eat nachos out of a baseball hat, attempt to caught foul balls (There was at least, AT LEAST, 20 foul balls during that particular game), and yell at the refs and teams. It was fun to go to the game with someone that actually appreciated baseball and could get into the game with me. I cannot wait to go again! We are trying to plan another time to go. Maybe in September... I cannot believe that we will have been dating for a year come September 8th!

A few weekends later, Eddie and I went to my cabin in Stockholm, Wisconsin TWICE in June. It’s along Lake Pepin. If you haven’t ventured down to that area to complete the River Scenic Drive along the St. Croix, I would HIGHLY recommend you complete it ASAP. It is absolutely breathtaking in the summer and fall, plus it is only a 45 mins drive from the Twin Cities. As an added bonus, you can stop by the Stockholm Pie Shop. Its one of the 100 best restaurants in the United States. You heard that right, one of the one hundred best restaurants! Here are a few pictures I took from our weekend together. See below. It was so amazing to have a *normal* date with Eddie. We cooked together, watched movies, went around Lake Pepin exploring the nearby cities, went for walks, ate pie, etc. I would classify it as he most normalized date we have ever had, just considering that he has a child and we usually are doing things around the cities; like baseball games. It was a nice reflection as to what could come if we ever choose to live together or go on trips in the future. I cannot wait to spend more time together in Stockholm!

Here is a photo on me, stepping out of my comfort zone! See the swimsuit image below. I was super shy and mortified to wear this swimsuit in public for fear of looking fat or not fitting into my “mold of fashion”, but I wore it and I ROCKED it. This is a swimsuit piece that I never would’ve bought, but besides for the fact that I convinced myself that I need to step out of my comfort zone this year and try new things, which includes edgy clothing. I must admit, I still feel shy rockin’ that swimsuit in public, and this photo is somewhat posed, but in my opinion; this photo represents a girl who is taking a risk and loving what she is and what she has. I was to see her more often.

Furthermore...haha. I got a new tattoo on my hip. See the image below. I’m not in love with it, but I am getting there. I don’t feel like going into the long details of what happened, because then I get all worked up *arms flailing*, but long story short; the guy didn’t do exactly what I wanted him to do in terms of shading the pieces, but I have decided that I am going to let the piece heal and then determine my next steps of action.

My current thoughts: I would like to have the bottom two leaves removed and potentially attempt to correct some shading to make it more gradual and then add more - different - flowers in the future to make it a huge piece. I am trying to let this *mistake* build character. Is it working? I’m not sure, ask me again in six months. I think this piece has potential, in many different aspects of life: healing, removal, character, adding, beauty.

Lastly, I have been researching Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. I was dx at the age of 15yrs old and placed on birth control because I wasn’t getting a regular period for over a year and when I did get my period it would be incredibly painful. Unfortunately, PCOS is a very rare disease and many women live with it. And even more unfortunately, it is the number one leading cuase of infertility in women. At the age of 15 I didn’t care. I thought birth control was a magic pill. I thought it solved all my issues; I was getting a normal period again. I was fine, right? No!

I had never once thought that PCOS could be the leading cause of my weight gain, until about 3 months ago when I watched an instgramers youtube vlog, which detailed her life long struggle with PCOS and weight loss. It was very eye opening, enough so much so that I began to research PCOS day and night. In women with PCOS you can develop cysts on your ovaries, have irregular periods, have increased testosterone (all the reasons I was placed on birth control to begin with - to manage those symptoms), acne, weight gain, hair loss, mood swings, depression, and increased risk for diabetes and cervical cancer. Luckily I do not carry too many symptoms, but from my personal research I discovered that cutting out dairy (which I did back in October - fully) and gluten can really assist in managing symptoms of the syndrome. So, since mid-June I have been dairy, whey, soy, and gluten free. Obviously, this is incredibly difficult, but I really try to eat clean and eliminate those ingredients as much as possible.

Furthermore, I even went to see a doctor. Luckily all my labs and ultrasounds came back positive, except for the A1C - which looks at you blood sugars for the last 3 months and my fasting blood sugar. Unfortunately, this syndrome has a genetic link to diabetes. I do not know anyone in my family that has this syndrome, but there is a possibility. So, going forward, after I complete one more lab, my PCP has determined that he is going to put me on metformin to assist in managing my insulin resistance, because I am on the boarder of being pre-diabetic. I am not thrilled about being on a long-term medication, but if it’s going to keep my insulin levels regulated and assist in my weight loss and overall healthy journey; then I am interested. At this time I am not diabetic or even pre-diabetic, but the medication will assist in helping me lose weight by managing my insulin - as my body cannot do it due to PCOS. Furthermore, I must take a daily multivitamin, Calcium Cirtate - as I don’t eat dairy, and a probiotic - digestion issues. In the future I may also take Fish Oil to assist with my omega-3, which can also assist with my insulin and blood sugar levels, but I would like my body to acclimate to the other medications and vitamins prior to introducing more. I really have high hopes for this medication, food lifestyle change, and clinical monitoring. (If you have any further questions about PCOS, my labs, blood test results, how to diagnose, etc. Please ask. That was an incredibly shortened version and really was stretched out over 2 months as I am still completing lab work) :)

Now, I just need to reintroduce exercise. I have decided that I am going to complete the 21 Day Fix exercise videos for the next 21 days. After I complete that, then I will decide what I need to do next. But for now, its the 21 day fix videos. I plan on waking up at 6:15am to complete the videos. Here are my before photos:

I am currently weighting in at 196.4lbs. This year I started at 209lbs!! My current measurements:

Waist: 37 inches

Hips/Butt: 46inches

Bust: 43 inches

R Arm: 15 inches

L Arm: 14inches

R Calf: 16.5 inches

L Calf: 16.5inches

R Thigh: 25 inches

L Thigh: 24.5 inches

Neck: 15inches

Fun fact: I started therapy! I love it an plan to continue going throughout the rest of the year. I do not plan on disclosing any personal information about my sessions on this page.

Flashback to my goals - I have revised again:

-Continue to lose weight - goal 170lbs. I have lost 12.6lbs this year. I would like to weight 188lbs by the time Holly and I go to Italy.

-Olive should be potty training by the end of the year - complete

-Stop biting and picking my nails - complete (Always on going)

-Save Money - ongoing. I would like to have $3000 in the personal saving by the end of the year. (All together, personal, HSA, paying for Italy, etc. I have saved, roughly $3000 this year)

- Eliminate Credit Card debt - I suck at this. It is back up. I am disappointed in myself. But I haven’t spent on it in over 1 month and have a plan to pay it off. I’m not worried. Although I am worried about that health bills I will accumulate from the doctors visits that I had these past two months. I am hoping the amount of money that I put in my HSA will cover the entire cost.

-Read 12 books this year - HA! I will read as I fucking please. I don't like this goal.

-Research grad schools - I don't feel ready for Grad School. I feel stuck. I want more time to determine what I would like to study. I want more field experience, I NEED more money. These are all things I can work on in the next year. My original original original goal was to apply for grad school in the fall of 2018, which is still achievable, soooooo lets start there. This subject stresses me out and it shouldn’t it; it should feel fun!

-New goal: drink more green tea with cinnamon - it’s good for my syndrome!

I can't remember any of my other goals.....I will need to look back and refresh this update once I have revisited my first post. Obviously they were not as important as the ones listed above...hahahaha!

Until next time....I’ll be back!

1 note · View note

justanotherdumpingground · 5 years

Text

Chapter Reviews: July 2-6, 2019 + Thoughts on BSC Book 2 and BP

Sorry this is later than usual. It's been rather exhausting these past few days.

Wishful Thinking Chapter 13:

Darn. For a moment, I though I'm going to face against Alec and Charlie head on. I guess a little discussing shouldn't hurt. And to be honest, Ellen has a point that planning too much can backfire.

Glad to see that the MC's issues with her dad has been resolved. I feel like it's been a long time coming for him. With that taken care of, it's time for the upcoming showdown.

Sunkissed Chapter 3:

I'm starting to dislike Alexis for assuming Sai's only skill is scooping ice cream. Like, there's more to him than just that. Give him time, girl. Proof that she better grow up or else.

Figures that this story will focus too much on Nate. Like, this story doesn't revolve around him. I don't care that his romance will be the most developed in this story while the other two are shoved aside. I refuse to give Pixelberry too much credit on the romance aspect.

"Where's the marinara sauce?" Oh, man. I think this story just spawned a meme of its own. I might pick it up to express my realization that I'm missing something crucial at a sudden point. I might suit Pixelberry's tendency to forget their love interests they don't favor.

Nightbound Chapter 14:

On the encounter with tialo, I chose the options to not play nice towards him. Sure he's still a kid, but he's a spoiled one who's consumed by his own jealousy. So I chose to be harsh on him.

I adopted the perrikin and named it Fortuna. One thing she said is that the MC must be careful of the jealous one AKA Tialo. Too bad the MC didn't heed that warning, because that would've saved their back. And what's with Tialo being such a dumb brat? Doesn't he realize that disabling Lamrian's wards leaves everyone at risk from the bloodwraith? This guy's worse than Landry Olsen.

Platinum Chapter 7:

Well, it feels weird for the MC realizing that her role model sings ghostwritten songs. Well, I didn't pick the premium option to help her find her voice, and I doubt I will because it's a blatant romance trap.

I was shock and horrified to see Ellen Thompson's model recycled. I know her model is basically Scarlet Emerson's with different hair and clothing, but it's still jarring to see her model reused, especially since she was built up as a love interest in Wishful Thinking.

Man, having Raleigh manipulate the gala host into actually donating the funds he made was fun and satisfying to watch. Turns out being a celebrity has its perks, and I'd like my MC to take advantage of that.

With that said, the last scene with Ellis Knight comes across as ominous. I mean, what on earth was with the scene's portrayal. Dinner at a lavish restaurant and only him present at the spot. At least what he did was tell the MC that her album should be released ASAP, but that could've gone a lot worse. Perhaps the lack of content warning is a factor.

Red Carpet Diaries Chapter 5:

It's about time I finally get to see Victoria. Man, it was nice to see her show her protective side. I need one of her knives to protect myself from whoever invaded the MC's privacy. And it seems that Victoria's realizing that mentoring aspiring actresses is harder than she thought. At least she has her temper under control this time.

I'm with one of the auditioners that the decision to cut Byrony out just because she is merely seen as unnecessary is a bad idea. Sometimes, I wonder why female characters in fiction merely exist as supporting characters as rewards for the male characters. And what's with Seth suddenly landing the role? The scenario just makes him no better than the MC. Not only that, but that means he and Teja will work together on a professional level again. That went terribly in Book 2 because of Pixelberry derailing their personalities, and it doesn't help that easing tensions between them is a premium option. I swear, the film plot is starting to make no sense to be because I didn't pic that option. I think PB hates this story so much that they only lavish their attention on Matt and Hunt.

Why do I have to bring Chazz with me to visit Matt's dad? Glad that there's gonna be Addison Sinclair, but I'd dump Chazz and bring Victoria, Holly, and the ocelot with me instead.

The Elementalists Chapter 13:

Honestly, why is Beckett the one we have yet another premium scene with? Especially since this scene would work much better with Griffin, whose studies involve ecology and disaster relief. Moreover, Beckett just recovered from his injuries and therefore not in the best condition to help. I swear, this is yet another proof of my love-hate relationship with Beckett.

With that aside, I like gaining the wood nymphs' trust. I legit though Aster's grandfather is Groot. That was fun to watch, and I was relieved that he's more accepting of the Pend Pals than Yarrow is. At least Yarrow can be convinced, and talking to Taxus about Aster was nice. Even more so when I got a lovely wand from Taxus.

Now that I've finally found Gemma, I'm starting to wonder whether or not Kane has set up a trap to lure the Pend Pals over. An abandoned house is too convenient of a place for her to be found in. Not to mention that he has sworn revenge against the MC no matter what choices we picked.

Bloodbound Chapter 8:

No way am I abandoning Serafine behind even if it's a premium option. She knows Paris better than Adrian and Jax.

The cryptoferal was really freaky to look at. But at least that creature is no match for the MC, who bashed it hard. Still miffed that I can't afford the next portrait fragment, which I'll get someday.

I didn't bother picking any of the premium options to be with Adrian and Jax, not even the threesome. I heard it's rather problematic because it fetishizes gay male relationships, which is yet another reason not to pick that scene. Anyway, my guess is that the Order of the Dawn and Gaius Augustine establish some sort of evil vs. evil dynamic. Yet at the same time, I still don't have an inside knowledge of the Order. Who knows if there are certain individuals who aren't merciless killers?

Thoughts on BSC Book 2 and BP:

Bold of PB to assume I'd be excited for BSC's return. The story is meaningless romance for most of the time, with the exciting bits about taking down Agracorp. Not to mention that I'm stuck with Sawyer for about 85-90% of the time while the story keeps him underdeveloped. Honestly, this story should've been a standalone where I can choose whether to stay in Montana or not in the finale. At least it's being delayed while the artists try to make a different cover that isn't copied from a romance novel.

After reading the newsletter on what BP could be like, I wonder whether it will be a comedy of sorts like Wishful Thinking, but with more stakes like a run-in with the mafia. Just don't let it degenerate to PTR 2.0.

#choices stories you play #chapter reviews

0 notes

foulfurywombat-blog · 6 years

Text

affordable vision and dental insurance plan

"affordable vision and dental insurance plan

affordable vision and dental insurance plan

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr